#all of these are so fucking funny how was this man REAL

[hotvintagepoll]

Abbott and Costello (Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man)—We tend to forget how funny Abbott and Costello are because their entire legacy has been submerged by Who's On First, but they were OG comedy/horror vets churning out so so many movies that both played into the Universal horror scares and also sent them up brilliantly. I think Costello is super cute :3 (abbott is there too but mostly im submitting costello lez be real)

Pablo Alvarez Rubio (Dracula)—it’s fucking craaaazy he plays renfield but it’s like if you took dwight frye’s renfield (already 4 inches tall and bisexual and mentally ill) and crumpled him up and badly flattened him back out again. he’s in a permanent flop sweat he has eyeliner he has a heap of curly greasy black hair he’s got a big cute nose and big sad brown eyes. it’s such a good role if you like a guy who whimpers. he’s sooo scrumply but in real life pablo was a boxer so like. how did he crumple himself up into that sad sopping wet tragic floor puppy so effectively

This is round 4 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Abbott and Costello:

Pablo Alvarez Rubio:

"make sure you’re on the 4th video at this link (Dracula (Spanish)) then you’ll want the scene starting at 37:30 . i’m sorry it’s in spanish but in short he talks about being a lawyer and then gets distracted by needing to catch a fly."

[editor's note: please watch the link above. it is truly exemplary.]

[monsterlimbs]

BG3 did incredible at making the bad guys so incredibly sympathetic/empathetic honestly. Coming from someone who is so so so so insanely justice oriented, I feel BAD for all the villains and bad people in the game. I think they deserve better. I already made a post on Orin a second ago so now we're doing all the big bads because she reminded me how funny it is, for me who's so set on justice to be like "free my girl! she's not a good person or innocent I just think she deserves better" lol. So we're doing Gort's post!!!!!!!!!

Gortash was a normal child born to a poor family who couldn't handle it and, FREQUENTLY, told him he was a nasty child for being... a child. For sure he was being neglected, not just in the way of lack of food due to no money, but also socially so. So he turned to creating toys (productive instead of destructive!!!! good boy!) and they were... pissed? Oh, and remember, this little boy for sure had no friends so his only comfort was tinkering with scraps leftover from whatever projects his parents worked on in the shop.

And then, they sold Gortash to a fucking devil for some money (that hardly even did shit for them, imagine how angry he was to return and he saw them living the same life they led when he was a child, after HE was sent to HELL, so THEY could have a BETTER life and they didn't even fucking do that.) and he had to live his childhood in Hell, in constant abuse. How many gods do you think he prayed to, begging for freedom? And in this world, the gods are DEFINITIVELY real and listening, so how many gods do you think ignored him? Ignored an abused, sniffling child in the Hells, who up until this point has done nothing wrong and only wants to be safe, loved, and in a place he gets to tinker with some toys?

Whether you hate the man he became or not, just for a moment think of the child he was. Always told he was too bitchy and whiney for being a normal child, then sold to a devil, sent to Hell, abused to the point I honestly think it's a miracle he survived, ignored by tens of gods.

And then, he still had the strength to GET FREE, and find Bane, who made him even stronger. Made it so that HE'D never be the victim again. Made it so that he could not only never be the victim again, but that he'd thrive. That he'd be on top of the world.

Then he meets Durge, who I honestly believe to be his first friend (he, for sure, had no friends in his parents' home, and everyone in Raphael's House of Hope was either sentenced to do something weird, hated him, or just generally not his pal). And I also believe this to be vice versa as well. Durge has kinda been forced to kill everyone he loves, but Gortash, Gortash he CAN'T kill, because for once, Bhaal sees a man that's important to his own plan, sees a man that he can let Durge befriend because it's better for the plan. So they become friends, and I for sure believe that they were both manipulating each in the beginning but actually became REAL friends eventually (maybe even always manipulating each other, but in a mutual, "I see what you're doing and I raise your mild manipulation to major manipulation" back and forth, almost playful way). And they totally fucked, but I'm trying to be kinda unbiased here, so whether they were more than fuck buddies or not is not important here, but they WERE friends in my opinion. Not even in my opinion, it's fact, "He did miss this" is a legit quote from the narrator after succeeded an insight check. They respected each other, saw each other in ways they saw no other, because no other was so fucked up and evil that he could go "I killed a man yesterday" and be responded to in kind. Anyone else, and their stomach would turn. But they've found their other half in a way, a man of mental strength, self control (...ish), and general respectability. Someone they can both rant to without judgement! Truly, who else would listen to these two men rant about what they've done, WITHOUT setting the guards on them? Also, Durge was formidable and had Gortash's same goals so he liked that. Durge also knew to keep personal things and business separate, so even if he and Gortash had arguments and such outside of The Plan™, they managed to keep it under the table and focus on The Plan when important and Gortash liked that even more.

But this post is supposed to be less about Durge so anyway, then Ketheric's added to the mix and Ketheric doesn't share their ideals so much but when he's being kept busy, he's at least a good work dog in Gortash's eyes. The Plan's all coming together now, and Gortash is busy and stressed no doubt, but he's no one's victim, the world is in his hands, and he has a friend! It's perfect.

And then his friend disappears, and Durge's annoying little sister replaces him. But he knows to keep personal stuff and business stuff separated, so he tolerates her, binds her blades, and has to shoulder a bit more of the plan now (do you really think Orin is willing to be civil at all and talk through details of the plane with Gortash like Durge would? She's doing her part of the plan well and scaring the sheep into Gortash's protection BUT she's not going above and beyond like I think Durge did, so he's left to his own devices to sort through shit.)

And now!!! His buddy's back!!!!!! THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK DURGE I MISSED YOU I mean hello now you can kill your stupid little annoying sister and- why do you have a certain tiefling with you. dear god you're consorting with peasants Durge. you were so strong and cool before what are you DOING buddy. Even funnier if Durge is romantically involved w Karlach and adores her, because I PUT HER IN HELL AND NOW MY PRECIOUS LITTLE FRIEND IS KISSING HER WHEN THEY SHOULD BE KISSING ME I mean when they should be focusing on The Plan™. Even, even, even funnier if Durge is total resist and refuses to make a plan with Gort, because he totally thinks they're going to come to their senses eventually, and instead they just. kill him. At one point, he even says "No. You have to stop her. Do it! Now!", because he still believes Durge is on his side and would totally stop Karlach. After all, why wouldn't they when they "share so much history"?

But also, if they're a resist Durge but still w the plan... he's happy for them. Imo, ACTUALLY happy for them. He's like "oh you left your father? wonderful! now you don't have any master or urges to bind you and we can finally focus on getting that damned netherbrain back in our hands!" but he's cool w embraced durge too. because either way, as long as you have a pact w him, he's safe in his mind w you and he's happy you're taking over the brain with him. And he's totally willing to share his kingdom w you. In fact, he WANTS to rule together as kings, which in Bane's rulebook is the first bad thing ever. He's being a BAD Banite, just because he's kinda lonely and wants someone to rule w in my opinion. But not just anyone, someone Cool™ and probably evil so he can be like "my slaves over there are being so annoying" and then have his buddy respond w sympathy. ....Sympathy for him, not the slaves. Which. Is fucking awful and I'm glad he's not real for that fact. But anyway

If you follow through w the pact, and reach the boat and everything, he lets you hit him once funnily enough. And he responds so childishly, by kicking you back! It's so funny to me

And briefly off topic, but I believe he's so childish because the way he grew up sort of stunted his maturity. Like, he's smart enough and charismatic enough that he can put on a good face for the public eye, but the second alone he's biting his pillow, having massive tantrums when shit goes sideways, having his guards sentenced to death if they stare at him weirdly, essentially doing everything an angry child would when they've been "wronged" in their eyes

Now back to topic, you reach the brain and it immediately fucking kills him. For a man so set on being in control, no longer being anyone's victim, finally being free to do what he wants... it's ironic he dies in this way. And though he's, for sure, a completely fucked up dude, it's a little bit sad to me honestly.

[cry1ngame]

𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒𝐓

notes - I don't really know how I came up with this. I guess I wanted something solid for my first post here - I of course had to start with Damian!!!

summary - You're so wrapped up in your own worries that you don't see how Damian sees you, more than you realize. He has his own way of reminding you, though.

warnings - rushed ( may have glossed over some mistakes ), vague cursing, tension & a bit suggestive - if I'm missing anything, please tell me!!

---

RAW had been a slog tonight, not that it ever wasn’t for you personally. It was worse without a certain someone around, though you’d never say it out loud. Funny how that certain pain in the ass could make you feel...comfortable? Distracted, at least. Especially when you were planted on the couch, leg bouncing like crazy, half-listening and watching to Finn's endless pacing and rambling. Not that anyone else in this mess of a faction was listening, either. The group was unraveling at the seams, which, to be fair, you saw coming from day one. Why’d you even join these clowns in the first place? Better yet, why stick around? When you first signed up in WWE, you figured you had to start somewhere. And what better place than Judgment Day? - real smooth, rookie. The more you thought about it, the more it became crystal clear: you were either desperate, stupid, or both. Still, you got roped in and you had to stick it out now because, well...someone promised you an easy out. Not for free, of course. You had to earn it, doing all the dirty work for him. Damian Priest. You didn’t give a damn about the Judgment Day lore, why he hated them and why they hated him back, half of it flew right over your head, and the rest didn’t interest you. All that mattered was Damian, with that stupidly handsome face and the confidence that set your brain on fire. You’d do anything he asked, and he knew it. You hated how much power he had over you. How did this all even start? You couldn’t pin it down anymore. All you knew was that you were stuck, feeding him intel, tipping him off about ambushes, covering his ass, all so he could leave the group in shambles and give you the chance to get out too in the end. That was the deal. But the more time you spent around him, the less transactional it all felt - at least for you. You didn’t want to admit it, not even to yourself, but you wanted something more from Damian. Something real. Something that wasn’t just favors and strategy. You couldn’t let yourself hard on it too long, though, because it wasn’t going to happen. Not with him.

You were spiraling in your head when Finn finally wrapped up his rambling. Everyone started to scatter, and you stepped out into the hall, replaying all the takeaways in your mind like a mantra. But the second you caught sight of Damian Priest walking toward you, every single thought you had nearly vanished. Damn it. He was dressed sharp tonight, you thought, black pants tailored just right, a fitted dark shirt unbuttoned just enough to tease, and a leather jacket that screamed effortlessly cool. His silver cross chain glinted under the dim hall light, catching your eye like it had some kind of gravitational pull. His hair, slicked back and perfect, framed his face in a way that made his sharp jawline and piercing eyes impossible to ignore. Fuck him. He could walk out in a trash bag and still look like he owned the world. And no, that wasn’t your love-struck brain exaggerating. The man just had it. Fashion wasn’t second nature to him - it was his nature. Style bled out of him the way regret bled out of you. What were you even doing? What were you thinking? Your thoughts churned into a messy cocktail of self-loathing and denial, and for a second, you wanted to disappear into the floor. As far as you knew, Damian didn’t think about you at all, certainly not the way you thought about him. To him, you were just a pawn. A loyal little informant doing what you were told.

“Got something for me?” Damian’s voice cut through your thoughts, low and smooth, his accent curling around the words in a way that made your pulse skip.

“Uh, yeah.” You cleared your throat, reaching into your jacket pocket and pulling out the folded note. “Everything’s in here. They’re planning to hit you after the match next week. Same routine, same overconfidence. Among other things, it's all on there." He took the note, his ringed fingers brushing yours just enough to send a jolt up your arm. You tried not to let it show, keeping your face as neutral as possible, but the smirk tugging at his lips told you he noticed.

“Always prepared,” he said, his tone lighter now, but with a weight underneath it you couldn’t place. He unfolded the paper, scanning the contents for a second before tucking it into his jacket. “I’d say you’re too good at this, but I’m not sure that does you justice.”

You raised an eyebrow, unsure how to respond. “I just…like to stay ahead. I know you do too. That’s all.”

“Claro que si, como no.” His smirk widened slightly, but his eyes softened in a way that made your chest tighten. “But you don’t just do it for yourself, do you?”

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He stepped a little closer, his gaze never leaving yours.

“You’re not just giving me information,” he said, his voice low, almost conspiratorial. “You’re keeping me alive out there. That’s not nothing. Sacandome del apuro..." You blinked, caught completely off guard by the subtle shift in his tone. He wasn’t just talking about tonight. He wasn’t just talking about the intel. And then, before you could find your footing, he leaned in slightly, close enough that his words felt like a whisper meant only for you. “You’re a lot more than you think you are,” he said, his voice smooth but heavy with meaning. “At least to me. Mas de lo que tu podrías significar para Finn jamas.”

The words hung in the air, and then, just as quickly as he’d leaned in, he straightened up, his usual smirk returning. But his eyes lingered on yours for a moment longer, like he was daring you to read between the lines. Maybe he wanted you to.

“Thanks for this,” he said, patting his jacket where he’d tucked the note. “I’ll see you around, maybe even return the favor - apart from just getting you out of that shit show of a faction ."

And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing there, heart racing, mind spinning. Subtle, yes. But it was enough to light a spark in your chest that you couldn’t ignore. It was something you always seemed to forget about him in the middle of your spiraling - that every time you found yourself spiraling over that damn man, he managed to one-up you, like he could read your mind and knew exactly how to handle it - how to handle you. It was subtle, sure. But the weight of what he didn’t say was enough to leave you reeling. Every. Single. Time.

[specialmouse]

It’s my fault for continuing to engage with him but he was clearly trying to fuck us (he was easily mid 50s with daughters our age) but I thought it was so funny that I could easily get him to start talking about how the hairdresser from the real housewives of the Potomac sucked his dick that I just kept entertaining it.. and he clearly wanted to fuck this handsome Asian guy he’s just met but didn’t realize that was what was going on with him so he kept being like “I think that guy’s gay” and we kept telling him dude, I think you WANT him to be gay… and another old ugly man bought us drinks and I went to go say thank you but not interested would you like for us to pay? And he said no. And I came back and my date was talking with him about how he doesn’t understand why lesbians would date a masculine woman. And I said something that pissed him off and I went “sorry baby I didn’t mean to scare you” and he snapped “you didn’t scare me you bitch” and I went whoaaa, okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… do something… and he went “you think you’re a man? You think you’re butch you’re NOT. You’re not a FUCKING MAN” and I’m like um. All right…? What about me is having you say that? And hebjust starts going “you fucking fat ugly bitch, you’re so fucking fat and ugly, fuck you” and I’m like okay go away, now. And he turned to my date and said there’s gotta be something wrong with you if you want to fuck this fat ugly bitch and she was like well. I think she’s hot asf so I guess there’s something wrong with me then LOL.

Really awesome that my second ever date with a woman I got verbally and sexually harassed for being too butch despite trying my best not to look butch is just. Tewwww much

[coreytaylr]

100% legit totally real facts about the historical stede bonnet

no the title is not a lie these are really REAL bc believe it or not, somehow the show made our stede MORE competent than the real one

sources: Real Pirates podcast (ep1, ep2, ep3, ep4, ep5), Dirty Sexy History podcast (with jeremy moss, bonnet's biographer, who LOVES the show, and said it changed his perspective on bonnet's and blackbeard's relationship PLUS he has the stedesrevenge handle on twt)

the library on the revenge was a real thing. the man really did that.

running away from his family to be a pirate

paying a salary to his crew

SHOWING UP IN NASSAU IN FRILLY GENTLEMANLY CLOTHES AND A POWDERED WIG

before bonnet's capture, he ran his ship aground and that's how the english caught up with him BUT the two english ships also ran aground (😭), so they fought each other with their flintlock pistols from behind their ships (until the tides turned and dislodged the english ships first. rip)

adopted an alias when he started pirating so people wouldn't know it was him but he raided ships near Barbados (where he's from), so that didnt turn out well. his solution? burning every ship from Barbados

he only succeeded in his early days bc merchant ships knew they would get off easier if they surrendered

ATTACKED A WARSHIP that whooped his ass so bad he almost died. the remaining crew steered the ship to Nassau where he met blackbeard

blackbeard stole the revenge from him but "allowed" him to stay on BB's ship (either as a guest or as a prisoner, it's not clear, but he def wasn't a crew member bc he didn't have any chores)

he was seen on deck running around in his gowns 😭😭

BB eventually reinstated him as the captain of the revenge and they sailed together for a while

"there is a 4 month period where stede and blackbeard kind of disappeared and no one really knows what they were doing" 👀

BB allowed bonnet to raid on his own which lead to him getting his ass beat by the Protestant Caesar. BB then proceeded to HUNT DOWN THE PROTESTANT CAESAR while flying the RED FLAG (which meant no mercy to anyone on board)

bonnet would raid ships and take what provisions he needed and give the other ship what he didn't need (essentially the library raiding scene lmaoo)

BB betrayed bonnet by raiding his ship and marooning his crew while bonnet was off getting a pardon

SO BONNET SWORE REVENGE AGAINST BB who was at the time, the most feared pirate

this led to him adopting another alias - "he also changes his name, at the time he goes by captain edward's. which is really interesting, I don't know if that's an homage to, you know, edward teach, but.. captain edward's with an "s", that's as if he's.. a possession of captain edward" ONCE AGAIN 👀👀👀👀

HE ESCAPED PRISON BY DRESSING AS A WOMAN

after escaping, he was promised a sloop by some rando. when the rando didnt deliver, bonnet "WROTE HIM A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER REPRIMANDING THE MAN"

that letter led to him being recaptured 😭😭

he was hanged while holding a bouquet of wilted flowers

[turtletoria]

man having the worst day of his life about to have the second worst day of his life

[buqbite]

part 1 (on VA and being better than humans)

part 2 (on welt and being just a human)

[biblically-accurate-dca]

moon n ballora

[marclef]

okay so uhhh. definitely wasn't expecting this any time soon. or ever. but unless my tumblr has been lying to me for 3 days straight then i guess it happened.

uhhhhh. thanks for 700 followers bros 👁👁💧

like. i didn't even see my tumblr get to 400. unless i've been hallucinating that it's been at 300 for the last month. am i going insane? maybe. but uhhh. that's a lot of people looking at me. kinda freaking me out a little. but thanks regardless i guys, it does mean a lot to me ✨❤❤❤✨

anyways. i die. nervous. some various rambling under the cut and in the tags but here's an artistic rendition of how i feel right now. enjoy.

so yeah. i don't know how the hell my follower count has doubled in like, two months. maybe it's the Fake Peppino Hugs? a lot of people have been wanting hugs after all. it uhhhh kinda makes me feel weird knowing there's this many of you. but i'll try to manage.

speaking of hugs, yes i've seen the new asks and requests in my inbox i promise!! i will get to them when i can, but for now i'm gonna try to focus on getting a couple other big important things done. mainly, a large Fake Peppino headcanon-related post i've been planning, and getting a few more characters up on Artfight before July.

and also.... i might be getting commissions up soon too?? i don't know how soon, but it'd be a way for me to get income right now since i don't have a job. or, if you don't wanna commission me but still wanna show support, i have a link to me Ko-Fi on my intro post as well! really any support is welcome, but i'm trying to figure out how to do commissions and pricing and stuff since it'll be the first time i *officially* do them. i hope you'll think about it though!!

but yeah, i've got a good few things i've gotta get done with, i'm trying to take things a liiiiittle slow right now though so i don't burn myself out fully. i will try to get stuff done soon though! expect that big Fakey post in maybe a week or so, and i'll update you all on other things that happen as well!

thanks for reading if you have, love ya's ❤❤💗💗💗❤❤

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[dykedvonte]

I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.

Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.

[hoshizoraorchestra]

idk man just thinking about how damsel3 literally just breaks the narrator. it is worse than the very thing that he will do Anything to prevent. that's how terrible it is to witness and to describe. man. man. i need to lie down.

[ratatatastic]

lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall

idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...

to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"

but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics

"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"

and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."

But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-

And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"

and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really

Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)

And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.

and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)

And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*

but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)

and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far

"You should really use your words."

"I am!"

"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."

"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"

"Sasha isn't most Alphas."

"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"

"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."

"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.

"It would work better if you use—"

"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.

like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know

[insanostyle1231]

made id be more joyful about trying dragon age veilguard when there isnt a grifter in my ear telling me its ass

[hauntingblue]

Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner