#all of them are. but if you're using the others to justify your apathy you're a disgusting person

[whywoulditho]

if you're still not boycotting israeli products, protesting against the genocide, sharing the news, asking for a ceasefire, I am judging you. I know my followers, I know my mutuals. I know the ones who selectively interact with my anime shitposts and ignore the ones about palestine. I am seeing you and I am judging you. I won't call you out on your bullshit personally, because if you can still ignore this humanitarian crisis while being active online and seeing all those posts, you're just not worth trying to reason with. But know that if you still choose to be silent, if you still think this issue is too political or complicated you're an ignorant, pathetic little bitch. you can't live without your starbucks? grow the fuck up. you think celebrities don't owe anyone their support and it is okay for them to stay quiet when it's the brown, the muslim who suffers? you're fucking delusional and you're pathetic. you think you get to turn a blind eye because it's not effecting you? you're a self-centered whiney little toddler. stay in your bubble and keep quiet all you want, i know you will lie to your kids one day and tell them you stood with palestine.

none of us are free until all of us are. free palestine 🇵🇸

[foundationhq]

Hey admins~ while I like you guys give a lot of freedom I'm a bit stuck with all the choices 😂 I'm indecisive what can I say lol. Any way you guys can give us hints on your vision for the opens? I'm struggling 😭

hello, thank you for your inquiry! i understand where you are coming from, since we have more of a sandbox approach to character creation. i imagine that there would be doubts if a character would fit the verse, especially if you're hesitating on a muse you've put your heart into. :< rejections are never fun and i will stress that during our review process, what we mainly look for is team composition, not what a muse "should be" about.

i avoid prescribing roles because i've ran a "skeleton" rp before (truth be told, it was more of a "bio" rp with detailed backstories) and it was really successful! however, in the end, i felt disappointed in myself because while i was able to see my vision come to life, i did not feel i had done enough to elevate the creativity of my players. i always want to improve not only as a writer, but an admin too in facilitating a supportive writing community.

however, i see lately that people want a little more guidance! so i hope no one minds if i draw the curtains on how we came up with these skeletons below. please feel free to use these as a guideline, but if you have another idea for your muse, go with what calls out to you! i sincerely hope this motivates the writing process for those working away on their apps.

every skeleton is, in a way, tied to an exploration of ethics and morality. each raises a question on how can one enact the concept of justice, when all the parameters for justice and fairness is wholly a social pact with an idea of "good."

[𝐶𝑂𝑊𝐵𝑂𝑌 𝐺𝑅𝐸𝐸𝑇𝐼𝑁𝐺]; what happens to the victims of the choices the foundation makes to keep the peace? is it right for them not to know what happened? how does the foundation know they're not leaving ghosts of people by forcing them to forget?

[𝐻𝐼𝐺𝐻 𝐹𝐼𝐷𝐸𝐿𝐼𝑇𝑌]; science is rife with historical and current-day ethical conflicts, all for "the betterment of society." what research goal are they pursuing that they feel justifies the experiment? how far will someone go to "advance" science? what personal reasons come into the mix?

[𝐾𝐼𝑁𝐺'𝑆 𝐺𝐴𝑀𝐵𝐼𝑇]; how far is too far when pursuing revenge, even if it would be justified? who should atone, and in what way? how does one measure vindication? at what point does the pursuit of justice become tainted by wrath?

[№2 𝑃𝐸𝑁𝐶𝐼𝐿]; in the act of wanting forgiveness, the desire of exoneration usually does not come from the victim. what are the pressures on the innocent for providing "absolution" to the guilty? what are the consequences of turning the other cheek? how can those who were hurt heal during the process of forgiveness?

[𝑃𝐸𝑅𝐹𝐸𝐶𝑇 𝑆𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐺𝐸𝑅]; how do those in a lower standing of "power" deal with the inequality they often face in their lives? what causes apathy in those affected the most by these unjust circumstances? is there anyone who is allowed to "look away" to keep going?

[𝑅𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑅𝑆𝐸 𝐸𝑁𝐺𝐼𝑁𝐸𝐸𝑅]; how does a moral exemplar deal with a huge mistake? can a single misstep overturn all the goodwill they've created? additionally, what ethical issues arise in the field of academia? whose efforts are recognized, whose work go on uncredited? what biases do those in power have when creating a "canon" of academic work?

[𝑇𝑅𝐸𝐸 𝐻𝑈𝐺𝐺𝐸𝑅]; what code of ethics do we as humans abide by? is that line of justice skewed by our anthropomorphic lens? what are things that exist in nature that conflict the interests of people? can one advocate for something that may harm people if it protects "the other"?

[𝑉𝐸𝐿𝑉𝐸𝑇 𝐺𝐿𝑂𝑉𝐸]; when negotiating opposing sides, what constitutes a "right" compromise? who are the people making these promises, and how do they represent the people they're making deals on behalf of? additionally, is it right to judge someone's social climb when they came from nothing? is it morally wrong to want to serve one's self-interests if those actions also help others?

[𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸 𝑈𝑁𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸]; where does liberty and freedom coincide and clash with the ideas of justice and equality? how does one navigate what to restrict and what to allow? who makes those choices for everyone? how does the dissemination and suppression of information influence public perception?

in conclusion, thank you for your feedback and i hope posting about our process when creating these skeletons helped you in your choice! i strongly suggest reaching out in dms with what you're envisioning so that we can assist you with resources or musing for your app! :>

> 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚛 🅟

[icharchivist]

Not to armchair diagnose, but Beelzebub reeks of narcissism while Lucilius seems more to be on the psychopathy/ sociopathy side of the spectrum

Narcissists need everyone to know that they're the best, they need to feel big and they need that validation, usually because of some trauma that caused them to feel small and insignificant. Behind their grandeur, their ego is quite fragile and they will lash out when it gets hurt

Compared to that, a psychopath will not care. They already know they're great, they don't require any outside validation. Their ego is unchecked and they will twist everything to not be at fault for anything, ever. There's always an outside source. Also, they don't have any emotional attachments to anything. Their brains are just incapable of caring about people, it's pure reptile brain

Neither of them are a perfect fit and I think it's a bit boring to try and put labels on characters like that, especially since their realities are so far away from our own, but they certainly check some boxes, so food for thoughts?

mhmm i would rather not pronounce myself on that, sorry :(

those psychology states tend to be widely misrepresented and demonized in fiction and i wouldn't want to contribute to it by associating them to clear genocidal villains when i can avoid it, especially without doing proper research on both of those and/or with opinions of people affected by it first.

As is, there is also the fantasy aspect that can make putting a clear human name on those mental states to be difficult; This is why i talk about Lucilius' apathy (which is a clear description of "not caring about everything around them") than to try to put a pathology on it.

(also "reptile brain"?! there's a hundred of red flag in this sentence since reptiles are capable of showing affection, and it ends up sounding like those stereotype about lizard people, be mindful please.)

As it is i feel like it is impossible to really discuss why they are like this without talking about their position as clones and as immutable/unable to change astrals. Eventually you'll just run into a wall.

but as it is i think putting those diagnostic on clear genocidal villains while it's not something the text claims to do, can easily backfire and i would rather not fall into that.

especially when we can discuss it without having to put a name on it. Lucilius feels apathy for the world around him and as such he doesn't see himself as a part of it. Also i disagree about Lucilius "twisting things to not be at fault". he rarely, if ever, actually tries to dodge any type of blame, and "being tormented by memories of the past that must come from someone else so he blames Lucio and God" doesn't strike me as something that can be justified that way. I mean when Lucilius disregard Sandalphon he clearly says it was a miscalculating from his part, i don't see how it's him dodging his own fault. Lucilius being disconnected from reality because of his state of mind has much more to do with others psychological states that lead you to dissociates and not think you're yourself in your own body than directly branding him as a psychopath.

As for Bubs's description i don't think it's a wrong one, to say those symptoms fits him, but again i would refrain to use the name of a widely mischaracterized psychological state to describe it.

you can just say that Bubs has a mix of a superiority and inferiority complex that translates in him boasting himself to not feel small.

all and all, i would say be mindful on how this can be interpreted yaknow?

so yeah personally i don't want to put hard words on how they're behaving that way; I'll discuss all sort of symptoms, sure, but this doesn't seem wise to me to put those names onto their behaviors. On top of not being really nice, i think it also runs the risk of projecting symptoms that are not here on the characters in order to fulfill this list of symptoms and i think that's unfair to the text. even if this is secondary to people being misrepresentated in that specific case.

hope it helps.

[maidoffate]

Why did you reblog a post that paints Isreal being a colonist apathies state as a falsity, ignores everything Isreal has done to the Palestine people for decades before Hamas existed, blames other Arab nations for not allowing Palestinians to be deported into their borders rather than Isreal’s genocidal campaign against them, and claims people should actually be protesting those Arab states rather than Israel’s ongoing mass slaughter?

Do you genuinely believe Israel is not responsible for every action they have taken since the occupation began? Do you only care about Palestinian lives so far as displacement and cultural genocide is acceptable, but not a blood one? Are you Islamophobic and/or racist to Arabs?

Or, is it what I hope, an inability to recognise genocide denial? That a malicious actor intent on taking agency away from Israel as a way to excuse their actions took advantage of your Jewishness to emotionally manipulate you. That in a time of intense emotions for all of us, racial biases got into your head and you engaged in this material accidentally.

You don’t have to answer this, I’d quite frankly rather you didn’t because I don’t think anything of value would come from it, but if you actually read this, please just look inwards as to why someone can cloth “Israel doing a bloody genocide against the Palestinian people is not the problem, other countries not letting Israel displace the people in an act of cultural genocide is” and you accept that argument as a valid one.

Salam Alaikum. Unless your response is still pro genocide, in which case, obviously, fuck you.

I actually am going to respond to this because I have a lot to say and I think you're going to find out me and you actually think more closely on the core issues than you think. I've been avoiding posting anything myself because I don't want to deal with the headache and potential harassment, but whatever.

First of all, if you read my tags to that post, you should realize I am not at all absolving Israel from blame. The occupation lies in their hands. They created Hamas, directly and indirectly. I am not denying any of the atrocities this state has done—even before the 2005 disengagement from Gaza. I have hated the state for as long as I've been politically active and have only grown more disgusted and disillusioned the more I researched about the subject. Chances are I know more about the conflict and its current state affairs than you considering I had to be pretty well versed on both sides of the spectrum and their current day aftermath to pass my Regime and Politics course (which didn't really whitewash anything and was incredibly critical of the state as it is).

I don't really agree with all the post in its entirety (particularly putting apartheid and colonialist in quotes, because like, regardless of OP's intention, those are objectively happening and there's no whitewashing it), but I wanted to platform the core conceit of it, which is that Hamas is bad for Palestinians. I haven't seen any other post really outline some of the reasons why in a way I could tell people. That post isn't really all-encompassing, either, but it's the best one I saw even if it does have its problems.

I outlined my stance in what I thought was clear in the tags, and avoided making a proper addition to the post because, frankly speaking, I'm not exactly "Tumblr famous", so I don't really consider any impact on whatever posts I platform. Only like 10 people ever show up in my reblogs, and most of them have (justifiably) not touched the small amount of Israeli-Palestine stuff I've posted with a ten foot pole.

I am not at all blind to the genocide happening in Gaza and the frankly disgusting living conditions and routine terrorism and abuse Palestinians receive from illegal settlers and the IDF in the West Bank. I read Gideon Levy's work. In what world is it acceptable for a "democratic country" to have a city (East Jerusalem) where only 5% of the citizens have citizenship? It's deplorable.

But I'm going to be clear: I have been to two funerals this week. A childhood friend of mine is in critical condition in the hospital. I've seen pictures, videos and heard what must have been dozens of stories from people who've survived the attacks that happened on October 7th and understand the sheer depth of the atrocities that went down.

So excuse me if I don't have the patience when I log into Tumblr and see that the overwhelming consensus is that "there is no resistance without violent retribution" and "those settler colonialists deserved it" and a bunch of people stand in solidarity with a literal fundamentalist terrorist dictatorship that has burned houses and people alive and massacred children. As if that's at all comparable to violently fighting back against soldiers and actual occupying powers.

I've seen several people compare Hamas to the ANC and like... just the sheer confidence of what people say without actually knowing any of the history and facts of the situation continues to amaze me.

Now, I'm not going to pretend as if there hasn't been a vocal rallying pro-Israel voice from western media, world leaders and other liberal celebrities (which I refuse to platform, for the record. I was offered a job in helping to translate summaries of the events to Japanese and refused because I'm not interested in spreading Israel's narrative.)

My only interest, really, is just trying to make people understand that they are not "standing in solidarity with brave warriors of oppression". They are supporting terrorists. Actual terrorists. Not just freedom fighters like Nelson Mandela, but a group that is actively trying to eradicate every Jewish person from this land, and doesn't care about any of the damage it deals to its own community or the non-Jewish people hurt in the crossfire. The Bedouin people have arguably suffered the most from Hamas' missile strikes, considering they live in poorly funded villages that don't even have proper protections and bomb shelters.

On a fundamental level, I am pro-Palestine (in the sense that I recognize they are the occupied victims of genocide, and deserve human rights, the right to self determination, and a state to call their own, whether it be with a two-state solution or one secular democratic state for all living in the Israel region), but I cannot begin to tell you the actual amount of vile antisemetic (not anti-zionist, not just critiques of Israel, I'm talking actually antisemetic) shit I've seen on this website due to this whole mess, not to mention people undermining every single Jewish plea post because it doesn't mention every facet and atrocity done right now.

It feels like no one can talk about the sheer density of actual antisemetic rhetoric without receiving "erm actually muslims have it way worse so stay in your lane". It's not a competition. Oppression is oppression. (And for the record, I'm talking about just the general communities right now, not just those living in Israel and Palestine -- obviously the people in Gaza are having it worse right now with the lack of water, food, electricity, and no proper safe place to reside in. They need help the most. Donate to the PCRF.)

Not every post needs to be fully comprehensive. Ignoring something in my post doesn't mean I don't care about it. It's just that I'm focusing on something else right now, because I don't believe people I've heard it. Not every Israeli needs to clarify "by the way I don't support the apartheid and colonization" to get people overseas to understand what is happening here.

Regardless, with my rationale out of the way, I will say I apologize for making you feel unsafe with that reblog -- again, only 10 people show up in my notes and I don't mean to make anyone feel concerned for what I think of them with whatever I post. I've went ahead and put my tags on that post into an actual addition so that anyone who sees that post can platform a better version of it that doesn't undermine the horrors going on here. Again, I really didn't want to post anything myself because I don't want to deal with the stress of it all, but fuck it, the block button is free.

[evelyns-writing-blog]

Catch the Wind: Reincarnated into an Idealised Shell - Side Story: Effect

[Previous Chapter]

I had been sitting on my windowsill, observing people as they passed by below, when I heard the news of Freesia's passing. My wife told me. I asked her to leave me alone for a while. I couldn't let her see me crying.

  My parents always told me that men weren't allowed to cry in front of women they plan to date or marry. It's nothing but sexist conjecture, but it's conjecture I've taken to heart and I haven't cried in front of her ever since I met her a year ago. My wife told me that she's not the type of look down on a man for crying, I'm sure she worries about me, but old habits die hard.

  The biggest pain for me was what the others would think of this. The boss... I think he'd be upset, but I don't know if he'd cry over her. But Soren? He absolutely would. He was supposed to be back from his latest mission any day now. I'll have to make it a point to ease him into this information instead of just hitting him with it right out the gate.

  Surely he's exhausted.

  The sun was setting, and I felt a harsh chill starting to seep into my skin. I jumped off the windowsill and made it over to my work desk. I think, with this news, it was time to call it quits. We all decided on coming here as kids. Our revenge is justified, but unrealistic. There's not much we can do, and now that we're actually adults, I just want to settle down with my wife. I don't have that same anger in me as I once did.

  I'd write my letter of resignation and send it to the boss. That's what I wanted to do. But when it came to actually putting pen to paper, I couldn't decide on the words I should use. I sat there, perplexed, as if I'd died then and there, stock still, for what seemed like hours, but had clearly only been roughly 30 minutes. I let out a shallow sigh and stood back up. I put my pen and paper away and closed the curtains and decided to join my wife downstairs.

  My wife was sitting at our dining table, her face in her hands. She was a mercenary too, so it's only natural she knew Freesia as well. Hell, they were practically best friends.the two of them would do jobs together all the time, and on the nights they went drinking together, none could ever win against them in a competition. Everyone would tap out before those two even started feeling tipsy.

  My wife stopped drinking as often once we got married, but her and Freesia never stopped hanging out.

  They'll never see each other again.

  I sat beside her and put my arm around her, letting her rest her head on my shoulder.

  I'll be honest, her crying nearly made me cry again.

  "Th-They said she died protecting some newbie from a dragon," my wife said.

  A dragon, huh? That brought back memories. Me and the boss had seen a captured one back when we went to Franelisa years ago. The boss claims he doesn't remember because we were so young, but I remember it vividly. Only someone like him could forget something like getting to see a dragon...

  She actually had to see one without the safety of magical and physical barriers... I wonder how frightening that must've been.

  "That sounds like her," I replied. "Someone like her... doesn't deserve that sort of fate, and yet it fits her to a T."

  My wife silently cried, while I did my best to comfort her. Though I feel I'm not good enough to properly calm her down.

  What a terrible day for this sort of news.

***

It looked like no such letter was needed. The boss came to visit me anyway. He looked tired. I couldn't imagine him crying. He was a very stoic man. But I knew that this news drained him emotionally as well. You know a guy for your whole life, you're gonna notice his emotional reactions to things no matter how well he hides it from others. It was that subtle look of agony in his eyes, as if apathy had overtaken him, as if he was already dead. That was his tell that he wasn't doing alright.

  I decided to let him save face and just greeted him normally. I bowed and said, "it's a pleasure to see you again, Boss." His name was Donovan.

  He raised his hand slightly, but quickly put it back to his side. "...Likewise, Sill," he replied, as awkward as ever. It seemed like the only one he could properly communicate with was the princess and Soren.

  Hey, aren't we still best friends? Why aren't Freesia and I included in that list?

  "I've made arrangements for time off from work," he continued. "I was wondering if you'd be able to make it to her funeral as well..."

  "Hah, like you even need to ask. Of course I'm going. I wouldn't be a proper friend if I didn't."

  My efforts to put him at ease fell flat. His eyelids narrowed slightly and he looked away from me. I think he was embarrassed or ashamed about something. "Do you think... Soren will forgive me for letting this happen?"

  "Huh?!" Where the hell was this coming from? "Why'd he blame you to begin with? It happened all the time way out in the middle nowhere."

  Donovan leaned against the wall. I think he was gonna fall over. "I'm the leader. It's my priority to keep everyone safe. Now they..."

  I pouted in annoyance. "Listen, no matter what you think, it's not your fault she died. Soren for sure won't blame you." More importantly, this wasn't like him to blame himself so harshly. I started feeling anxious of what was going through his mind. Was he acting so self conscious now because he feels that him bringing us along to this country caused this? Is that it?

  My wife came over to us, all out of tears to shed for now. Her eyes were red, but she was otherwise okay. "Is everything alright?" She asked. She must've realised we were taking too long. "Donovan, you really shouldn't keep your coat on in here, you'll start sweating. It's not like that dreadful castle laboratory you work in. We have heating throughout the house."  She hugged him and he just awkwardly stood there frozen. He raised his hands to pat her on the back, but my wife backed off before he could go through with it. "It's been too long. I don't think we've spoken since the wedding."

  "Y-Yeah..." Donovan replied, "I'm sorry that we're meeting again under such conditions..."

  I sat down on the staircase, which was right in front of our front door, and sighed. "Boss, once you get settled down, I wanna speak to you about something," I said. "For now, let's all try calming down and sort out our feelings. Just know, Donovan, before being your subordinate, I'm your friend. And my wife is your friend too. Don't feel so antsy around us, it'll just make us feel awkward."

  My wife nodded in agreement. "That's right. You're always welcome here. So why don't you take a seat in the living room, I'll make you something to drink." She did her best to seem like nothing was wrong when she was around others. I admired that strong spirit. She didn't know what we were really doing here. I felt guilty keeping it from her. If she ever found out, she'd probably despise us.

  Oh, her name is Lily, it wouldn't be right to just keep calling her "my wife," would it?

  Donovan finally let show a small smile, and he took off his coat. Under it was a cape/cloak, so he took that off too. To be honest I never liked that cape. It gave off an ominous sort of vibe. No wonder that André kid and that Shiro brat seem suspicious of him. But then again, he seems very fond of that cape. I can't bring myself to ask him to change his fashion sense.

  Even for our country of origin, that sort of fashion is really weird, let alone in Ferrum.

Lily kindly made tea for us. That was usually my job, but I suppose she wanted to seem like a "proper wife" to the public despite my objections. It wasn't the first time she's taken my housework. I just let her do it because I'm not very fond of conflict with women. It is just harmless fun for her anyway, right? I should just let it happen. I don't wanna be too bossy.

  Soren always told me that was my weakness, my lack of authority. Though I'm sure he wasn't saying I should treat my wife like shit. He meant in terms of my work when I still worked in the Mercenary Guild. Sometimes a party would want to work with me and I'd just go with the flow instead of suggesting any ideas of my own.

  Freesia had disagreed with that sentiment when I brought it up with her, though. She thought that it's best to play it safe in those sorts of circumstances.

  I haven't figured which side I agree with.

  ...

  "I don't think I said it at the wedding," Donovan said, while we waited. "But I really do pray for your happiness as husband and wife..."

  "Must be why things have gone so well for us," I replied. "Thank you."

  We fell silent again, so I thought of something to say. "How the princess?" Better question than any.

  "She's... a handful. But I think I'm managing," he explained. "I wasn't expecting her to change her tone so quickly. It's like it comes naturally to her. You never would have guessed she was your archetypical goody two-shoes princess."

  What we were doing here needs some serious effort to explain, but the short of it was, we'd mess with the princess, so that when she ascends to the throne, we can control her. This country is responsible for countless crimes of war, we thought we ought to fix it...

  But to be frank, I've lost motivation for it. I'll always hate this country, but this is way out of scope, and I don't want to continue living a double life while hiding that from Lily.

  Plus, the fact Princess Sherri is just a kid, it just makes me feel worse. She wasn't even born when this country went to war with ours. I wondered if Donovan felt similarly, or if he didn't care at all. If you ask me, he seems more enamoured with her than she's supposed to be with him. I've seen how they act together. If it's not an act, he's almost like a brother figure for her. If I didn't know any better, it was as if he was just messing around.

  But anyway.

  "Sounds like there's never a dull moment with her, huh?"

  The conversation fell short.

  "Soren probably won't make it back in time for the funeral, will he?" I asked. It didn't feel right to ignore the situation completely. I didn't want to pretend like everything was normal. It wasn't. This was far from normal.

Donovan stayed silent for a long time. Did he not hear me? Just when I felt as if I should ask him again, he responded. "A part of me hopes he never comes back," he said. "I don't think I could handle his reaction to her death. You know what he's like. Those two got into a fight before he left. He'd be full of regret..."

  "..."

  He was right. It wasn't going to be easy to tell him lightly what happened. Soren had a heart of gold and was very sensitive to people's feelings, and very in touch with his own.

The first day we arrived in Nix, he was excited, he wanted to stop at every place on the map along the path to our inn of choice. And when we finally had a chance to sit down, he mentioned if we should just negotiate with this country instead of seeking revenge. He had tears in his eyes as we ate this city's food. He told me he felt hopeless when he saw the homeless of this place. He spent the whole day trying to come up with a scheme to make it easier for them, and when he failed, he got into a depressive mood.

Honestly it wasn't the least bit surprising to us. He even wondered if we should just go back home. He went off about how it was wrong to try and ruin this place for our own benefit.

I had to be the one to convince him to keep moving forward. That was my job in our group. Mediator and information gatherer. Needless to say, I convinced him. But I felt bad about it. Soren is the youngest in our group. I felt like I was manipulating him. Really we should have left him home, but Donovan insisted that he was important.

...

I just hope he's doing okay. He should have been back here by now, and for a couple days too...

A dreadful feeling filled my heart.

What if he had died as well? We haven't received another letter from him. That didn't necessarily mean he was dead, but it was cause for concern. I decided not to bring that up though. I didn't wanna ruin Donovan’s day any more than it already had been.

Lily finally finished making us drinks. Tea, by the way. She sat down beside me and held my hand. She was really beautiful. Not to get side tracked, but I don't think there's a more beautiful woman in this whole world. Her light brown hair was tied up in buns, and her face was free of any blemishes. She wore cute glasses. Her eyesight being poor was a defect at birth, so it couldn't be cured. But I didn't really care. I think people who care about stuff like that don’t deserve their partnerms love. I say she has no blemishes, but even if she did, she'd still be the most beautiful woman. I cared about her more than anything, and she felt likewise about me. I could stare into her blue eyes for hours if I could. Sometimes I think she's too good for me. She probably is.

Where was I?

"Do we at least know about who it was she was with when she died?" My wife asked. She seemed to have caught on that we were still talking about Freesia. "Maybe we could find out more about what happened..."

I shrugged. "All I know is Shiro was there. I don't know the actual person Freesia was tasked with judging."

Donovan took a sip of his tea. "I heard their name was Marisa. It's a strange name for a man, but it's all we have to go off of," he added, sounding confident for the first time today.

"The next chance I get, I'll ask around for this 'Marisa' guy, then." I said it without thinking. I cringed. I can't be doing something like that if I'm planning on quitting. Whatever. I was curious too, so I might as well go along with this anyway.

Lily clung to me tightly. She pouted. "Are you sure you wanna go see them?" She asked, anxiously. "That weird name makes it seem like they're bad news. I think it'll be dangerous," she explained. I could understand where she was coming from. There's no such thing as a guy that calls himself Marisa. It's definitely a fake name. I should really be cautious about it.

"You think they're a bad omen, huh? Maybe you're right," I replied, mixing some sugar into my tea. "Let's save it 'til after the funeral, though. Now's not the time to be working. Let's just take our time here."

In the end, we just ended up talking about our lives since we last met. Donovan’s explanation of his life was full of lies and half truths. I wonder how he could be such a good liar when he's so awkward. One of the many mysteries of him, I suppose.

  "She was the first person to support our marriage," Lily said. "Even though neither of us could really afford it, she chipped in the most for my wedding dress and even the wedding costs..."

  That's true. Compared to back home, the wedding market here was a total scam. 200 anbers for even the cheapest wedding dress, our taxes per month on average cost 100 anbers, to put it into perspective. And that's just the dress. Suits are relatively cheaper, but the wedding itself, the venue, the food, the ring. Everything. For us, it cost about 800 anbers. If it wasn't for our connections to the Mercenary Guild, it would've taken us well over a year to prepare everything, but in the end it only took about a month. We're very fortunate—we're very lucky—to have such kind people as our friends. They all said it wasn’t a big deal, but I feel as though we’ll be forever in their debt.

  That's not the only scam here, though. It seems the entire culture is made to benefit the rich, but not enough to fan the flames of a revolution or anything. And thus, not enough people really care enough about this inequality.

  "She saved my back so many times when we teamed up," Lily continued, I could tell she was about to cry again so I put my arm around her. I bit the inside of my mouth and tried to fight back my own tears.

  "It's not fair..." Donovan said. He looked down and gritted his teeth. He was clenching his fists so hard, I saw a little blood. His nails were stabbing into his palms.

  I had to calm these two down... "Sh-Shiro killed the dragon..." I said, stumbling over my words. "So... at least we know she was avenged rather quickly..." It was good for them to grieve, it made them human, but i didn't want to see one of my best friends and my wife crying. It hurt me to see that, I worry, I don't want these two to be hurt, because that hurts me as well. And I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

  That didn't seem to help much. Donovan silently cried, covering his face. He didn't wanna be seen crying...

  Lily's tears came immediately after I had said all that. She looked up at me and tried her best to smile. I didn't understand... "I-... I'm trying my best to put on a brave face but I-!" That smile was faltering, bit by bit. "Sh-Sh-She was h-happy with her life, w-wasnt she? ...She died with no regrets, right? ...Right?!"

  "...I..." I couldn't say for sure, I just had to guess. Well I suppose there really was just one answer I could give... "I think she-... she lived her life to the fullest..." I was unable to keep it together, my tears were already flooding out.

  Lily... burst into tears once again, crying Freesia's name. She rested her head on my chest and dug her nails into the back of my shirt. "Freesia!!! Why??!!! Freesiaaaaaa!!!"

  Oh... I'd made things worse, and now for the first time, I was crying in front of my wife. This was just too unfair...

  Well...

  Screw my prideful superstition of a habit. Freesia is dead... I've known her my whole life, she was one of my best friends, and now she's gone! This wasn't fair...

  None of this is fair! If we had just stayed home, I may not have been able to meet my wife, but...

  No... I can't think like that... I can't start acting like this is my fault. It's the dragon's fault! Plain and simple...

  Even whoever this Marisa guy is, he isn't to blame either, even though I'm sure that's what's going through all our minds, we also know that he was just a witness to it, right?!

  Oh! I don't know anymore! Why did this have to happen?! Why??!!!

  I'll never see her smile again... nor hear her cheerful voice... my friend is dead... all I can wish for now... is that she's in heaven...

***

"After I find out who Marisa is, I want to quit."

  After an exhaustive group crying session, Lily fell sleepy and she decided to go to bed early. Honesty, I was feeling like I should sleep the rest of the day off as well.

  This was the perfect time to have a private conversation, though.

  I had declared my resignation after a few deep breaths, and that was it.

  "The idea that Freesia is dead makes me realise this whole plan hasn't been worth it. Even if it's unrelated, we still joined the Mercenary Guild for the sole reason of acquiring funds and fame for you, boss... no, Donovan... I suppose I have no reason to call you my boss anymore."

  It hurt to say, but it needed to be said.

  Donovan looked down at his feet and simply replied with, "oh..."

  I panicked and elaborated further. "I-I wouldn't quit if I thought you weren't capable of achieving revenge with just yourself and Soren! Honest! I still support you, and you're welcome to come visit whenever you want."

  Donovan sat down and sighed... "I don't... well..."

  I didn't like seeing him in this sorry state, and this was probably a terrible time to be telling him this, but I couldn't stop now. I already said I'd quit without thinking about his reaction. "Trust me... you don't need a mediocre spy like me. To be honest, Soren was better at all that stuff to begin with. He's just better than everyone else at-."

  "It's fine... Don't bring up Soren's name... please..." A tired, dull expression. Matching his tired, dull voice. I've really been a failure today. I can't do anything right. He shouldn’t be this down in the dumps. I feel like I just made everything worse.

"..."

"..."

"..." This silence was deafening.

Donovan eyed our empty cups before saying something strange to me. "Can you keep a secret, Sill?"

I was surprised. Not because he asked me that, but because he asked it as if he was guilty of something. I began worrying, but I remained visibly calm. "I'll take any secret with me to the grave, if it was an order from you," I replied calmly. "That still applies now that we aren't working together as well."

He nodded. "I see..." He got up and put an arm around me. I think he was attempting to hug me. He's never been good with these sorts of social interactions. He whispered something to me, and it sent a chill down my spine. A sharp one.

I backed off and almost screamed. "Wh-wha-?!" I hit my leg against the sofa and fell back into it. I looked at Donovan, thinking it was some sort of joke, but that look in his eyes told me it wasn't. "Th-That's going too far..." I said, trying to keep a hold of my composure. "Why? Why'd you do that?!"

  He sat back down with his head lowered. "Because it was unavoidable..."

  "..." I was starting to sweat. "Why didn't you tell us first? W-We could have figured something out..."

  I received no answer.

  This wasn't fair. "...Donovan."

  He gave no reply. He just lowered his head further, shielding his head with his arms.

***

I sent Donovan off, and went back to my room to snuggle with my wife. I had a lot to think about.

One thing was for certain, once I investigate Marisa, I'm out. I don't want any part of this anymore. I don't even want to think about Donovan.

It'll be a hard sell, but I'll have to convince Lily to move away from here. I just have a feeling things are only going to get worse from now on.

It scares me...

"Soren..." I mumbled to myself. I took a deep breath, and hugged my wife tigher.

This couldn't be real, could it?

Donovan, what exactly are you planning on doing now?

Not knowing how to process my thoughts any longer, I cry again.

Catch the Wind - Arc 1: End

———————————

Author’s Note: thus concludes the first arc of this story. We’re introduced to Sill Leonhart and his wife, Lily Leonhart. Leonhart is actually Lily’s family name. Sill had no last name originally, just like everyone else in Soren’s group. With Sill’s Marriage, he finally got a surname. Hooray. Also in this chapter, something I contemplated about showing was that Donovan really is a villain, and by extension, so were Freesia and Soren. But I decided that this was the best place to reveal that. It was never really supposed to be a secret anyway. Arc 2 will be more lighthearted, I promise. After Arc 2, we will be half way done!

[song of the day]

[jadedaceofspades]

"I cant afford my rent or groceries!!" **orders takeout for breakfast, lunch and dinner 7 days a week** "If you say I shouldn't get takeout, you're ableist!" That's not being ableist, Francine. It's pointing out the obvious and stating facts. Getting deliveries every day adds up. If you are honestly unable to go out and get groceries, use that app to get your groceries. Your one order from a grocery store can add up to the times you spent every day on takeout. And you can learn how to cook for free on YouTube, which is also a free website to use.

And listen... I know all of our experiences are not universal, but some people will try to justify being lazy because of their disability and then claim others are being ableist towards them for pointing out that they are, indeed, being lazy. And yes... there are people who do use their disability as an excuse to not have to do anything and have others do them when they are, indeed, capable of doing it. "But-" When you openly ask people for money for rent and groceries and it's found out that you use all of your money on takeout? People lose sympathy and empathy really quick. Because why should I help you out when you are using the money people gave you for things different than you asked for? "You don't need to know what I do?" I am disabled myself and I also work full-time, thinking I'm helping your sorry ass with rent and groceries when that's not the case; so yes... I do.

Because when I find out I've been lied to? All sympathy, empathy and compassion goes out the door and apathy sets it and if you're really in a crisis and no one helps out, you can only blame yourself at the end of the day because you lied to people.

[and-yet-the-daisies-grow]

tw: various child abuse, verbal abuse, csa implications

A few minutes ago, I woke up from a bad dream. It wasn't a classic nightmare, and not really a classic trauma dream either. It was more like an emotional synopsis, a tasting menu of how things were back home.

These people used to bully me. They ganged up on me at the dinner table until I physically couldn't stand being in the same room anymore, and I ran out of the house, trying not to alarm the neighbours (because things are fine, really). After I returned to the house, they told me I was sensitive. In the dream, they bullied me too.

I never forgave them for that. Partly because they never apologized, and partly because I can still feel that sour aching burning sensation in my chest. Of being reminded by people who are supposed to love you of how pathetic and weak and small and helpless and stupid and useless and worthless you are.

There were many other feelings in that dream, too. The buzzing paranoia of living with someone who looks at your body as if it were a piece of meat. The sickening shame of trying to be kind to them because nothing is wrong, not really, I am just imagining things, I don't want to start any drama. The part despair part resentment cocktail of emotions that is best created when you are criticized for all that you are, but especially traits you cannot change, traits that lie right in your heart, without which you wouldn't be you at all. The embarassment of being shamed around your friends, the complete apathy when it all becomes far too much to be able to care anymore. The running away while knowing that I will return, because I can never leave, not really, because things are fine. This is how it's supposed to be.

Of course, everything reaches a breaking point. About halfway through the dream, I decided that I would leave that place, that my love for it and for the people that live there will never be a good reason enough to stay, when I can feel my soul coming apart at the seams. I walked around the garden, trying to take it all in one last time. The colors were washed out, as if the world was a watercolor painting. The sky was white.

If I lived there alone, that garden would be perfect, and nothing could tear me apart from it. My safe space, my haven. These are the trees I climbed as a child, the bushes that have been there for as long as I remember, and oh, this is the strawberry patch! It is the garden that my family has tended to for 4 generations, their blood and sweat and tears in that soil. But, despite how much I want to stay, that garden too has been tainted by all that has happened.

So I will keep it as a memory and think of it as if it were a bubble. Think of it as if this garden was only for me and the birds and the snails and nobody else, nobody else at all.

But I have finally accepted that now is the time for me to build my own garden, so to speak. I cannot wait anymore, and I cannot justify it either. I am an adult, I should be allowed to make these choices.

A part of me also feels a sort of painful smugness about it. I want to throw it in their face and say hey, I am finally moving out! Aren't you happy? Aren't you happy I'm leaving? After all, you're the one who has threatened me with throwing me out back when I had nowhere else to go. Of course, they won't remember that they ever said it. It evaporates with their anger.

But that is not really why I'm doing it. Not that I don't feel spite, I do, and I let it fuel me when I have nothing else, but I'm not doing this to get away anymore. I'm doing this to finally get somewhere. Finally live in a place where the shame doesn't coil out of the walls, threatening to suffocate me if I don't numb myself to the point of illness. Instead, live with my drawings on the walls, my furniture forgiving every time I accidentally make a dent or a scratch. Living in a place where my bed is no longer the breeding ground of quiet terror where I lay each night, forcing myself to make peace with the fact that I might wake up with my shirt above my chest and condemning myself for being a heavy sleeper, because really it is my fault. I want to live in a place where my bed is a den, a nest, a place of softness and comfort and cat fur.

Moving on hurts. But this is the only way to live.

[veale2006-blog]

The Holy Anger Wednesday, November 22, 2023 Ruach Scripture says, "be angry, but sin not." Some believers use this to justify anger in judging. But our problem is that we're usually not angry enough. In Hebrew, the word Holy Spirit is Ruach HaKodesh. Ruach doesn't just mean Spirit, it also means anger. We're to have a holy anger at sin itself - selfishness, apathy, lack of love. If you're angry at people or yourself, that's not it. The Spirit has an anger, but it's never prideful. It's anger at sin. Be so angry at your own sin that you determine to live the most unselfish life. So angry at people being lost, that you determine to spread the Gospel no matter what. So angry at a lack of love that you respond by being a fountain of love. That's the Ruach HaKodesh being so angry that when you see unsaved people, you have the burden of the Spirit to share the Good News and save them. You should get so angry that you leave that sin once and for all and live a life of righteousness. But it starts with a holy anger. That's the Spirit, that's the Ruach.

Today's Mission Get so angry at sin that you'll actually put it away once and for all.

Galatians 5:22 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

HAVE A BLESSED DAY AND WEEKEND!

[cyarsk52-20]

RELATIONSHIPS

Tom Sandoval's T-Shirt Sex Comment Was A Worse Betrayal Than The Affair Itself

Amanda Edwards/Getty Images

BY TESSA SOMBERG/JUNE 8, 2023 10:30 PM EST

Ahead of the third and final part of Bravo's "Vanderpump Rules" Season 10 reunion on June 7, Andy Cohen, longtime host of "Watch What Happens Live" and seasoned mediator of Bravo's reality TV reunions, teased on Sirius XM's RadioAndy that Tom Sandoval made a comment during filming that would "upset every woman in America." Now, given the mountain of troubling comments that Sandoval has made in the aftermath of the scandal in which he cheated on his partner, Ariana Madix, of nine years with her then-best friend, Raquel Leviss, we were preparing for the absolute worst. Madix has been through enough. And then, came the comment. 

Cohen asked Sandoval if he had slept with anybody else since he started sleeping with Leviss. When Madix chimed in that Sandoval had still been sleeping with her, Sandoval sardonically replied, "Yeah, she kept her t-shirt on, it was really hot." The immediate silence in the room, and outright explosion from the cast in the moments following, is evidence that the comment was simply excruciating to behold. Shall we get into all of its problems? 

Sandoval selfishly centers himself

Peacock/YouTube

Showing once again zero regard for the pain and damage he has caused Madix and their shared friends, Sandoval centers his experience over the hurt he has caused others. We assumed Sandoval would say anything about his former partner to justify his cheating after his PR stint on Howie Mandel's podcast, during which he publicly weaponized Madix's mental health struggles as proof of his victimization. Madix then clarified on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast that she never threatened suicide; she told him that her life in Los Angeles would end. But we digress. No matter what, it is entirely unjust for Sandoval to continue using Madix's most sensitive pain points to make his case against her, especially when he is so blatantly in the wrong. 

First, Sandoval is reinforcing the misogynistic pretense that sex should cater to men's pleasure more than anything else. It should go without saying that women are not sex objects to be valued based on how they look or act in bed, with a trusted partner, no less. That Sandoval appears not to grasp this is further evidence of his apathy toward the pain he has caused Madix. It's also hard to fathom that someone would use a once trusted partner's most vulnerable moments against them to gain ground during an argument, but Sandoval also went there. And this disclosure — to a national audience of millions — knowing that Madix has struggled with her self-esteem after a previous relationship, is just plain cruel. 

Ariana gives a brilliant response

Mega/Getty Images

Where Sandoval has taught the nation a masterclass on what not to do after you cheat on your partner with her best friend — lesson number one, don't cheat in the first place — Madix has written the handbook for fighting back against gaslighting from an ex. And her response to the comment that Sandoval made has been nothing short of genius. Madix released a line of merch that says "F**k Me In This T-Shirt," with a depiction of a woman who is presumably Madix pulling apart a melty grilled cheese, both to promote the opening of her sandwich shop, Something About Her, with fellow cast member Katey Maloney and to normalize wearing a f***ing t-shirt when you're having sex — because sex is not all about what men want. 

Shall we also mention that Madix graced the cover of Glamour the day after the reunion finale? The publication reported that Madix has made somewhere in the ballpark of $1 million following the fallout of her relationship, to which we say she deserves every dollar. To top it off, she perfectly summarized what many of us have felt but didn't have the words for: "The way that so many men act like they are entitled to your body and entitled to sex because you're in a relationship with them. I am not your Fleshlight. I spelled out what I needed, but hello. It's a two-person situation." Amen.

Read More: https://www.women.com/1309358/tom-sandoval-sex-comment-worse-betrayal-affair/

Sent from my iPhone

I fully support the mob mentality. He’s an abomination and deserves every bit of hate he gets. He’s a scummy dirty butthole worm 💩🪱

[bryhaven]

EDUCATIONAL POST: Signs that Mikasa Ackerman is in a TOXIC relationship

Now I'll be saying from the get-go that this post is NOT meant to undermine any Mikasa ship, especially with Eren. And NOT undermining the author and their writing. I didn't want to have to do this. But I'm forced to put this out here because some shippers and haters alike keep claiming and some even harassing other shippers (mostly the RM stans), and say that EM is not toxic. And even add that our ship RM is problematic.

I am the type of person that when given a nonsense argument, I will slap you with facts. Or give you a witty comeback (if I feel bitchy enough). This person below called me toxic and judgmental, claimed that those of low IQ cannot understand what Eren did blah blah blah. And then blocked me once I gave them a comeback.

Hence, this post is here to define what a TOXIC relationship is. And please take note that I will only discuss the parts where the relationship became toxic. Because someone might come saying, "But before that..", "But after this.." and so on. It doesn't even matter what happened before or after. Or even all the reasoning behind the actions. Remember, the end doesn't justify the means. The fact remains that the relationship became toxic.

According to Dr. John Delony in ramseysolutions.com, there are signs to check and find out whether you're in a toxic relationship.

1. Not feeling safe. This pertains to both physical and emotional safety. I don't see Mikasa feeling emotionally and physically safe when she talked about her thoughts and feelings, especially in the table scene with Eren. Her voice didn't matter to him because he was only set in completing his goal. And whenever she tried to speak up further, he would just brush her off.

2. Bad (or nonexistent) communication. This type of communication includes gaslighting, manipulating words, and being dishonest. Eren didn't tell them the entire truth and also used words to manipulate them, particularly Mikasa, into believing something else that he made up. Again, to further his own purposes.

3. Feeling neglected and exploited. I don't see Eren honoring or even seeing the reason why Mikasa was being overly protective of him back in the day. He was always angered at her whenever she tried to just watch out for him, or whenever she was being clingy. This is a psychological need that she has which was developed from a trauma, and Eren couldn't tend to or even acknowledge that.

4. Feeling like you’ve lost yourself. It is needless to say that Mikasa lost her sense of self here after hearing Eren's words. Eren clearly set off an anxiety alarm.

5. Judgment—not curiosity—is the norm. The way this was phrased, even in the manga, seemed judging and imposing. It's like he's judging her ability to fight with that length of hair which ended up imposing on her to do something about it. To rephrase it into the lifeblood of a relationship which is curiosity, he could have said something within the lines of "Does it bother you in training if you wear your hair down like this/with this length of hair?". Or he could have exuded care like "Would you be alright fighting with your length of hair?" or "Maybe you should try tying your hair so it doesn't bother you?". But then, no. He did not.

6. Feeling belittled and ashamed. Eren made her feel less than, and rubbed her nose in something from the past.

7. Not receiving empathy. Eren would either dismiss her when she tries to share something important or speak her thoughts, and she is usually met with apathy. Because Eren would usually direct the conversation back to himself and even try to one-up her in conversations since he is mostly focused on his own goals; when Mikasa here is only wanting for him to be safe. He often saw her as a bother, and always reasoned that she had no reason to do that since she's not his mother.

8. Playing a dysfunctional role. Service and sacrifice are parts of a good relationship. But then, it should be mutually giving and supportive. In this one, Mikasa more than often fulfills a mothering role. She made that promise to Carla to look after Eren. She always goes out of her way to care for him, even sacrificing her own safety. And because of that, she has grown to believe that it is her job to fix him, at the expense of her own feelings, needs, and joy. Sure, he has given her a reason to continue on living, inspired her to fight. But she has paid him more than enough for that service.

9. Feeling controlled or manipulated. Aside from manipulating her with words in the table discussion scene, Eren tried to tip the balance in his favor. This is in the sense that he makes use of her strength in the attack on Liberio. Even though this is Mikasa Ackerman with superhuman strength we are talking about, he still put her in harm's way by making her fight in the frontline. Whether or not it is in her will to do what he asked her, you can still see the hesitation and uncertainty in Mikasa while knowing what she was about to commit. And she follows anyway because of Eren and his reasonings. And a recurring theme in her thoughts is something within the lines of "Is this what Eren wants?" or "What if Eren will..", and her mind always spirals back to Eren. Mind control right there.

10. Living under a cloud of rage. Needless again to say (and for a picture since Tumblr doesn't allow more than 10 pics in a post. Urgh. Lol), Eren has been a chronically angry person. He is always frustrated by something, and often explodes in episodes of rage. A person like that cannot be fully supportive in a relationship. And though he has his own reasons for it (and some are understandable), it doesn't justify the things he made Mikasa undergo. And a crime is still a crime in the end.

And there you have it. EM has actually ticked all 10 boxes.

Again, I am just explaining the toxicity in the relationship. Not taking bias over something just to explain this, and not hating on any character. You can still understand or even like a character even though you don't align with their intentions, or even if you don't like their development.

If EM is your cup of tea, then by all means, go ahead and ship it. But DON'T go harassing others for it, or reblogging their posts with nonsense captions, or calling them out with rude descriptions, and then block them if they finally give you a comeback.

And DON'T go claiming that EM is not toxic, dysfunctional, or unhealthy in any way when you don't even have the FACTS to back it with.

Over and OUT!

[arllenn]

Staring down at Ruri- no Chime is his name, before you, you can help but feel tired. None of this is making any sense it’s all too much at once.

Bonderev, one of the dickheads behind what happened at black swan bay, had apparently been alive and living well enough to the point where he could give lessons on morality in his final moments. Imagine that! HIM a man who BLEW UP an ORPHANAGE and who had personally shot you and Renata, what he persumed to be, dead! And he had the nerve to ask you to, no- TELL you to protect his son, to not let his actions get in the way of YOU PROTECTING his SON! You’re so frustrated to the point where you’re not sure if you want to burst out into maniacal laughter, break down and cry or just destroy everything in your sight the same way that dickhead had done to you and your family all those years ago.

He had gotten everything and more. A family, a happy life, power and he was freed from all the consequences of his actions. So what about you what did you get? A permanent fear of trusting anyone because “hey I’ve already been used as a genetic experiment by the man I considered a father who then proceeded to blow me, everyone and everything I’ve ever loved to kingdom come! But sure thing nice stranger who I just met let’s be besties!” Makes so much sense. Oh, oh! What about stealing years away from your life! 20 to be exact, man you could’ve been married, had a family, gone to the capital and achieved everything you had wanted to! But no instead what you’re doing is standing here, the same 18 year old who couldn’t do anything to save your friends, your family, as you watched them die in front of you. You’re the person who even in her last moments Renata had to look after and protect. And wow doesn’t that smart, doesn’t it hurt to look down at Chime to see how weak he is, with a voice that trembles and eyes that seem one glare away from overflowing with tears, doesn’t it hurt to look at him and see the worst parts of yourself reflected back at you? The parts you wanted to bury so deep down inside that they’d be forgotten by even you. But here they are, loud and angry and demanding your attention.

Your throat closes in on itself, the hand on your hip tightens. It’s a painful squeeze that’s only purpose is to remind you that, no you can’t cry here, you can’t let anyone see you like that, you cant let yourself be like that, not here. Not in front of people who you should know, who you should trust but who you don't You've spent more time running around for them then with them. It's mean and the ugly cloying feeling that rises up from your chest makes you look back at your relationship with 'your' uperclassmen. Were you even close enough to be called comrades? friends? Most of the time it felt like you were just there. A living phone running to deliver messages from one of them to another. Running errands, throwing yourself into danger or just escaping death for what? People who, people who you- people who you... what even are they to you? Right now your upperclassmen feel miles away from you, both emotionally and physically.

Your nails were starting to dig into your skin in a way that was more then painful. You could feel the moment the skin on both your hip and the palm of your other hand broke. Pulling your lip in between your teeth you try and tune back into the conversation waiting for the right words, for your upperclassmen to throw another request at you so that you can leave, preferably go outside and beat the shit out of one of the trash cans out back before running off into danger once again to fulfill their orders like you always did. And wow, isn’t that something... even now, even now, you’re still just blindly following people’s orders, never asking questions, never saying no. What... what is wrong with you? Hadn’t you learned your lesson already? Hadn't you learned after Herzog that you don't, you can't, just do that. Last time you did that you grabbed onto a rotten rope, a horribly, disgustingly, rotten rope.

"Promsing to protect somebody so recklessly is a foolish thing... nevertheless... thank you." Chime's retelling of his life comes to an end at a convient time. It's perfect really, and so you take that moment, the lull after his thanks, to leave.

You walk out into the lobby of Takamagahara the slow calming jazz music a horrible contrast to the thoughts and feelings that are swirling inside you right now. You make it two-thirds of the way to the bar when you're met with an extremely unpleasnt sight that has you cringing for more reasons then one.

Crow and Yasha are sitting the bar, resting most of their belegirantlty drunk weight on the actual contertop instead of on their chairs. They're demanding extra achoul, Crow shouting about how he can't take something anymore who knows what. And yikes heres a thought, Chime Gen is in the VIP room right behind them, those two who, even if they are drunk out of their minds, are Chisei's aides. They find Chime or even gain the smallest inkling of an idea that he may be here and you'll have more to worry about then cleaning up the counters from their drunk cry fest. Normally you'd step in here, and take over for Quinton the poor bartender on duty who always seemed to get the worst of the costumers but you really aren't feeling up to it today.

Just as you're about to turn around to give the trashcans outside the beatings of their lives Crow says something that you can't help but stop at. "You know I like Sakura don't you?" It was a question directed at Yasha who was only able to groan out what he thought was a response. You debate staying for a second. This isn't something that you particularly care about, nor is it something that really concerns you. But it just, you just want to know a little bit more about what Sakura was like before she became another one of Herzog's victims. Its with that flimsy excuse and the puppy dog look that Quinton gives you once he notices you're there that has you stepping closer, leaning against one of the pillars that trap the bar in its own seprate space.

As Crow continues to slur his feelings out Yasha seems to sober up a bit, it's not by much but its to the point where you're no longer worried about him getting into a bar fight, more just what taxi service to call for him when he inevetably passes out and where to send him afterwards.

Yasha leans over the bar apparently ready to give Crow some type of advice when the following happens. 1) he trips and stumbles over his words "Don't.. Don't worry. We are brothers. I... will never... mock you." sweet right? It would've been if not for 2) The fact that he lurches over its a face you recgonize all too well.

"Quinton get out of the-" 3) Yasha hurls all over Quinton, your words left to hang just as Yasha's icky face goop is left to hang off of Quinton. And now you're royally pissed. Sure you were pissed before but this is the type of rage that can only be quelled by you being left alone to stew in it. Its not the emotional type of rage that you felt earlier when you wanted to smash every glass surface you came across no this is the cold type of rage that leaves nothing but apathy in its wake. because as much as you've been trying to ignore it theres so much more that you had been trying to ignore, so much more that had been pushed to the wayside that you're angry about. You look up at Quinton whose looking at you like a lost kid in a mall that had mistaken you for their mother. Running a rand through your hair you harshly scratch at your scalp. "Quinton," you let out a frustrated sigh, "Take the rest of the night off, you'll be paid regularly and you can take extra pay if you wake up sick tommorrow." You turn to him and start to walk behind the counter switching places with him.

“Right thanks a bunch, manager." He rushes out. Turing towards the staff area most likely to change into his extra uniform instead of going home covered in puke. Staring down at Yasha's mess which was covering most of his area of the counter as well as the floor under his chair your annoyance hit an all new peak. It's not the chunky kind of throw up that can be easily cleaned up, its a mush that resembles watery baby food. It's obvious that this wont be a quick clean and that both mops and floor wipes are just going to push this stuff around instead of soaking it up.

Today just can't get any worse can it? Pushing your hand back into your head you aggitatedly rubbed at your scalp, pushing and pulling at the skin there. You’re pissed off. To come back after fighting against Herzog, let’s not forget HERZOG WAS THERE TOO! HE WAS THERE, HE WAS THERE LIVING AND BREATHING, AFTER ALL THAT HE HAD DONE, HE HAD THE NERVE TO GET UP ON THE PEDESTAL THAT HE HAD CONSTRUCTED, DESIGNED AND BUILT HIMSELF THROUGH EXPLOITING THE INNOCENT TO TEST HIS FREAKY DRAGON DRUGS ON, HE HAD THE NERVE TO TALK DOWN TO YOU! ACT LIKE YOU WERE STUPID OR SOME KIND OF PREDETERMINED FAILURE! You get back from that battle exhausted , emotionally drained, and wanting to destroy yourself to find Finger leisurly drinking with Humpback! After you thought that he died you thought that you had lost another person, only for him to be there and fine. It was reliving yes, but just fucking horrible at the same time. So when you stare down at that mess and the first thing you see when you look up is the VIP room that the others are in you felt like you were justified in deciding that you would be acting on your tiredness and handing off this task to one of your upperclassmen like they do to you so often.

Actually you retract your earlier statement today can in fact get worst. Crow and Yasha have apparently had enough to drink both uncoordinatedly slamming down the money to pay for their drinks, you really don't care wether or not is correct you just want them gone, they BOTH step into Yasha's puke tracking it out the door with them. Yeah, no- you're not cleaning that up nope, nu uh, never. You blow out a heated breath and start to walk towards the VIP room careful to avoid all of the face mush on the floor. Pulling on the curtains that served as the door to enter you called out to the occupants.

"Right, sorry to ruin the fun but I just had two costumers who puked and tracked the throw-up everywhere so I need one of you to go out and clean it up preferably like," You looked down at your wrist as though you wore a watch. Truthfully it was just to hide the annoyed look on your face, "right now please." You glanced up at them Before clarifying "Chime I'm not asking you to clean it up, just focus on resting." Because as much as you wanted someone to clean that nonsense up right away you were also specially tuned into just how draining it could be to meet Herzog like that. "Cool thanks guys!" You clapped your hands together and prepared to leave the room when Luminous started complaining.

"Aw, come on no way newbie, I don't wanna clean something like that up!" He put his hand to the back of his head, a tick you had noticed he did when he was complaining, nervous or worried, "Come on can't you do it? You were already out there.." And there it was normally you would excuse that tone as just being something that made Luminous, well Luminous but today the whiny tone was grating on your ears and you were two steps away from man handling him like you used to with Anton when he was being uncooperative. The thought of him hurts. Witnessing his final moments, being there when they happened, it was both the same and different then the others. Sure you had watched all the others die but Anton's had always stuck with you in a way that was far too painful for someone who you really didn't like. And now the urge to cry was back, you felt your eyes burn with unshed tears that were a culmination of too many of your emotions to name.

Caesar brought a hand to rest on his chin tapping away at it, before he even got the chance to talk your anger had already started to peak "Luminous is right newbie, theres no reason for us to do it, you were already out there and knew the areas that needed to be cleaned. This just seems like a waste of both yours and our time." Yeah, yeah, you seriously contemplated grabbing Caesar by his ponytail and using him as a mop for a second.

"You just cleaning it up would've been more efficient." Johann unhelpfully chimed in. Yeah, maybe you would use Caesar as the mop and Johann as the counter rag.

"Yeah freshie! Everyone knows that newbies do all the grunt work, you can't expect us to do it can you?" Fingers nasally voice made you want to throttle him the more he continued to talk. Sure he may have meant it as a joke but you really weren't at the point of caring. In fact you couldn't care less about anything right now. The anger that had just been building had condensed into a vengeful apathy that demanded the souls of those around you.

Once again Caesar spoke this time however you decided to cut him off. "That's right newbie, using my authority as team leader I order you to-"

"Damn I kinda don't care," You said scratching at the back of your head in an obviously exaggerated way. "Yeah actually..." you started mimicking Caesar's earlier stance, "If you're invoking your team leader rights then I'm invoking my manager rights."

"Hey wait-" Luminous tried to interject.

"Yeah as your manager I order you all to have that throw-up cleaned within the next half an hour." A bit long of a time slot, sure, but really who cares as long as it gets done.

"No way newbie team leaders out rank managers, which means my order still stands." Caesar's stubbornness in this situation could be something to praise if not for the fact that a) you don't care and b) you're two steps away from bringing your thoughts of using him as a mop to fruition.

"Team leaders outrank managers when we're out on the field sure, but right now we're in Takamagahara not battling death servitors, which means your team leader status is moot." You made a slicing motion over your neck. "You may be the leader appointed by the college but right now that means nothing, were not fighting and this isn't reconnaissance, we're working."

"That doesn't change the fact that Caesar is team leader freshman." You can always count on Johann to speak up for what he believes in. Too bad you're not here to praise your upperclassmen but instead get them to work.

"Cool! And I'm still the manager. Right now you all are technically on the clock at Takamagahara which means what I say goes. Caesar may be the team leader and you may be my upperclassmen but that doesn't change the fact that right here right now what I say takes precedence in all matters that aren't dragon related because I'm the ma.ne.ger. " You smile your best costumer service smile and speak in the same tone that you do with costumers when you say this. Then you turn on your heel and walk out calling out behind you that "I expect to not wake up to puke covered floors in the morning! I'm going to bed good night."

And well if Finger chose not to comment on your behavior because he watched you break down in the elevator through the security cameras then that will remain with him. And if Caesar and Johann chose not to speak on it because they heard you sobbing from outside your room that night then thats something that stays between them. And if Luminous caught a glimpse of the empty look in your eyes that night when you left your room for water then he definitely held that as a close secret to his heart. Choosing not to comment on it. And if you noticed that your seniors were just a bit more gentle with you or asked for your input before sending you off on recon missions when they didn't before then you don't comment on it.

[tuesdayx]

So I thought it would be fun to do a song-by-song breakdown of our latest album Essential.

Essential started as some rough demos designated for a side project in late 2019, which then became our largest album to date in terms of song selection. Many of the themes deal with learning to cope with the changing world thanks to Covid, with a perspective of someone who had to keep working at an "essential" job with no option of self-quarantine. I was happy to continue working and being able to pay my bills over the past year, but there was always elements of stress, fear, and tension lingering over myself and everyone else in my position.

So here we go; starting from the top let's look at the Songs of Tuesday X's 6th album Essential.

1. Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams: the title was a reference to the 9/11 conspiracy memes, which as stated in the opening lines, "has nothing to do with this song." Written in January of 2020 before Covid had made any significant impact in the US, the song touches on many themes which happened to occur throughout the year, such as [another] Californian forest fire (Australia too), new diseases (Covid), a riot (the BLM movement over the summer, which I will state everything that movement has been fighting for is 100% justified and the United States is in desperate need of Police reform, as does our political system which has remained inherently racist to this day.), Civil War (and exaggeration for sure, but the civil unrest and political division in our country will soon split us apart further), more corporate giants(companies like Amazon profited more from this Pandemic than ever before and have helped further the gap between the American working class and the top 1%). Favorite line: "I won't get philosophical, I only wanted your attention."

2. The Only Difference Between You and Me is a Sense of Apathy and Your Brand New Nikes: This song is a blithing criticism of the American political system. Our two party system has left Americans with a choice between "the lesser of two evils" and allows politicians with no true interest in our needs to rise to power. The use of 3rd parties as an alternative is a overly simple compromise that would only just begin to alleviate the problems created in our political system. Both of our main parties are considered conservative parties to the rest of the world, and any progressive measures that would benefit society and reduce the effects of climate change are considered radical and preposterous by politicians with financial stakes in our crooked system where corporatations hold control and the people are treated as fuel for an otherwise worthless currency. Favorite line: "Listen to the radio, they played my favorite song. Now I'm bored and wanting more."

3. Blame it on the Elves: the title is a reference to an episode of the Podcast "Lore" by Aaron Menke (i can't recall which episode, but you should check it out anyway because it's great listen.) An instrumental interlude inspired by ragtime music of the 1920-30's, with an edge of course.

4. Class of Dropouts: This song was written when I was 16 during my sophomore year of high school and was originally featured on my now unavailable album "trees" before adopting the Tuesday X monicker. I brought it back 6 years later because I loved how raw and punk it was. The lyrics are dorky but I decided to leave them as is, it's a cool track for high school stoners to blare and let out their teen angst. Favorite line: "Walking in on my friends fucking."

5. Polaroids on My Bulletin Board: This is a song about growing up. As a 22 year old (now 23) who decided not to go to college straight out of high school, I felt isolated from my peers in a way. By going into the workfield right away I sometimes feel like I skipped a few years and missed out on a lot of opportunities. I regret not leaving my hometown sooner than I did and chasing my dreams of being a touring musician in a band. More often than not I reminisce of my youth playing shows and getting into trouble, as I now feel old and out of place in a scene I grew up in. Favorite line: "I know what it's like to be alive, I know what it's like to live a lie."

6. Labradoodle Underpass: Going back on the theme of growing up, this is about my recent experience with shows as an adult. When I was a teenager I felt ambitious and ready for anything, and I would drop literally everything to go to the nearest show. As an adult I feel introverted and constantly anxious about the world around me. I've missed out on a lot of great shows due to my own self doubt's and anxiety. Now that shows have been canceled for over a year I feel even more regret by not appreciating them more while I could. Favorite line: "23 years and a lingering fear that anything could happen, why am I here?"

7. Some Shit: This was me trying to be modest mouse lol jangly guitars and half talking/half singing vocals describing the world around me. I guess in a way it was an exercise in writing character description and setting, but otherwise it's just a chill track that almost feels aimless at parts. Favorite Line: "it's just some shit I learned from a friend. Just some shit I learned when I was trying to prepare."

8: Woe is the World: On the album this is a chorus snippet that barely a minute long (the full version is available as a bonus track on bandcamp, and it was actually a demo that turned out better than the final version.) I originally wrote this song when I was 15 with a different set of lyrics, but I came back to it while writing this album and re-wrote it to reflect my mental state and the world around me. Overall, just another melancholy track in a sea of melancholy songs. Favorite line: "you've never felt more alone than you do now, was everything worth it in the end?"

9. Then Why Was it Named Gideon?: the title is a reference to a line in Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour (my favorite series) and like the first track on this album doesn't have much to do with the song. "Gideon" is a simple love song, talking again about how growing up sucks but having the right person by your side can make all the shitty times worth it in the end. Favorite line: "it's time to move on, you're taking too long."

10. I am Here, I'm Looking at Her, and She is Beautiful: This song is entirely about the book "Perks of Being a Wallflower". That's it. Nothing else, let's move on. Favorite line: "Over Christmas I read them a poem about a brown paper bag and the boy who wrote it."

11. Try to Be a Filter, Not a Sponge: Like the previous song, this one is also mostly about "Perks of Being a Wallflower", but with elements of my own experience with toxic relationships. I like to think of it as the character Charlie's experience with Mary Elizabeth overall though. Favorite line: "She called my favorite book washed out trash, said I have no taste and I'm still too sad."

12. Lavender Spray Bottle: This instrumental dates back to 2017. I recorded the guitar part as a demo on my phone and forgot about it. Over time I forgot how to play the guitar part, so I used the demo as a basis and layered everything else on top of it. The title is a reference to a bottle of water with lavender essential oils mixed in that my ex used to fend away spiders in the house we lived in at the time.

13. Hindsight is 2020: I will admit, this is my favorite song on the whole album and was actually the last to be written and recorded. With a simple guitar part and layers of vocals, this song is a direct reflection of life during the peak of the pandemic. With curfews in place and rising case counts, I had to learn to cope with life at home during my late nights away from work. My partner was quarantined during this time and I reflected on the mental strain this put on her. Favorite line: "Don't go to work, you need the money but you're not happy when you're there. Sometimes life is so unfair."

14. I Don't Know How to Deal With Serious Emotions Without Turning Them into a Fucking Joke: the title came from a meme I found on my phone from high school. The song itself was about my own inability to handle serious emotions without coming off as sarcastic. In both the music and lyrics, the song starts as a simple confession before exploding into raw chaos. Favorite line: "it's so hard. I'm so scared, what have I become?"

15. Say Hello to My Little Friend: the last instrumental on this album. A short haunting tune that reflects the final two tracks. The title is probably a reference to Rambo or something, but I never watched it and I thought it fit the feeling of this song.

16. Minneapolis: What became one of the most emotional tracks on this song actually began as a joke. My partner was snap chatting a friend one night and they asked me to write them a song on the spot. So I improvised the first two verses and chorus of this song, referencing her going to school there at the time. I found I actually liked what I had written however, so I refined the track and changed it from a sassy country song into a melancholic lament of my experience in the twin cities and southern Minnesota. Favorite line: "I miss Camp Snoopy, and Paul Bunyon's log flume ride that went around the whole damn mall."

17. Before the Sunrise: the final song on the album is an intimate look at my relationship with my partner. Through past experiences i have become riddled with self doubt and always looking at improving myself as a person. With hopes that one day I'll be the person I'd like to be for mine and their sake, it's an optimistic tribute to my best friend. Favorite line: "the cycle ends until the sun rises again, you're my best friend."

Thank you all so much! Check out Essential and our other music on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple, and other places! I hope you all enjoyed this personal look at these songs that got me through the worst parts of 2020.

[superiorllathanvie]

Nowhere to Run

— [WHUMPTOBER, DAY 2] {SEMICANON}

‎

• characters :: seven, llyre, unnamed linia

• genre :: whump, narrative

• warnings :: depictions of violence; xenophobia; implications of genocide; no matter how big of an asshole you think seven is, they're much, much worse

synopsis / prompt(s) :: cornered

a/n :: was originally gonna make this about monday (the son) going on his nightly hunt, but i figured why not sprinkle in some canon-ish seven lore? 😄

(note for this particular 'semicanon' — specific events did not happen, but the gist of the circumstances / seven's character is supposedly accurate. emphasis on supposedly, because who knows? things get lost in translation in history all the time 🥰)

"Keep up." were the only two words LL spoke to him after dragging him out here to exterminate the last few remnants of the Linia. They were justified in saying so, however; LLyre was just a 'lowly being' under them, created by them — he was reminded of that all the time — of course he could never outdo the Superior.

That never seemed to stop them from gloating about it, though.

LLyre's stamina matched the other's just fine, but the hasty nature of the shorter Superi did make it difficult to effectively tail them. If only they'd quit jumping around the place and just charged in a straight line...

Scoffing, LLyre narrowed his eyes at their back, aware they could sense it but had more important things to do instead of reprimanding his 'rebellious' behavior. The more important thing being—

"GAH!" The poor Linia choked as LL landed right on their back, kicking her into the alleyway she was initially retreating towards. From LLyre's vision, he could tell that the force wasn't great enough to paralyze the runaway, but she'd definitely feel it in the morning.

If she lived long enough to see it, anyway.

"Couldn't you have just used telekinesis to draw her to you instead of..?" LLyre trailed off, reluctantly following the Superior — who slowed their pace to a calm walk as they approached the source of a groaning noise.

LL clicked their tongue, shoving their hands into the pockets of their hoodie. "Well, yeah, I could've," They hummed, indifferent, "But I like the chase."

LLyre chose not to reply to that.

After making their way through an alley that seemed to stretch on forever, the two Superi eventually came to face a disheveled Linia on the ground, crawling helplessly in an attempt to get away. They stood there, watching in silent apathy, until the Linia appeared to give up seeing as her efforts would get her literally nowhere.

With her remaining strength, she managed to push herself up and lean on the nearest wall. The Linia's back was arched and tense, likely from the impact from a certain someone's assault. She forced herself to look up at LL and LLyre, who might as well have been Grim Reapers in disguise.

She whimpered, "Why..?" in a vague sense that the Superior barely acknowledged, before she clarified: "Why do you.. hate us so much..?" The Linia coughed, "You made us, too, just like the rest of the denizens of Syto..."

"You're not like the others. That's exactly why I have to make sure that you're, well, wiped from existence." LL corrected, narrowing their dark, blank eyes at the unsightly creature on the ground. "A normal denizen is under my control — given a little individuality, sure, but Linia... Oh, you mutinous pieces of crap...

"Not only are you incomplete and unprepared for the world, your kind is capable of developing your own conscience; different from mine," They glowered, making the Linia shudder. "You are out of my control, immune to external tweaks, and therefore unfit to live in my perfect paradise."

"But why?!" The Linia lashed out, hissing through gritted teeth as she felt the recoil from her injuries. "We never did anything to you!" She cried.

The Superior only clenched their jaw in irritation and let out an exasperated sigh. "You're unpredictable. And in a world that was created to be a place where I could have everything I wanted, for a people to be.. exempted from my rules?" They laughed bitterly, "That's.. threatening."

The Linia only managed a fearful squeak, pushing back against the wall.

LL took a deep breath and exhaled, turning to LLyre who only watched on in conflict. "You got something to say?" They asked; not in an intimidating tone meant to scare him into his place, but in a genuine, inquiring one. It was rather odd how quickly they switched up, but LLyre appreciated the special treatment nonetheless.

"Uh," LLyre stammered, nearly buckling under the pressure of two pairs of eyes — one waiting for his opinion and another pleading in hopes he'd ditch his boss-slash-god to save their life. He shook his head, "No, not really. Just think that maybe we should have a.. more efficient way of dealing with them." He said the right thing, right?

Shrugging, LL hummed, "Well, true. Only problem is that I have no goddamn idea where these keep leaking out from." They sighed. After a pause, they gazed back at LLyre. "...You did mean 'deal with them,' as in drive them to extinction.. right?"

The Linia's eyes brimmed with tears, a fleeting hope shining in them.

...No, no. It was just the light from the Moon.

"Of course, what else could I have meant?" LLyre responded, glancing away. He always cursed his ability to feel empathy. It made him feel human — he was not human, he was a Superi. Superi are higher life forms than humans.

He was inherently better than them. He was destined for more. He had no need for a heart.

That's what LL told him.

The Superior smiled cheerfully, satisfied with his answer while the Linia quivered with terror. LLyre's attention was called back by LL, who started swirling their wrist in a circular motion, forming an orb of dark violet matter as they turned back to the unfortunate Linia.

"Well then, in that case..." LL grinned, slowly approaching the cowering individual. Lightless irises glimmered with sadism and malice. "You watching, my dear Superi?

"You better take notes."

[cotton-candy-in-a-thong]

I dunno if that's sarcasm but dude...no...don't send anyone death threats for little shit like this...EVER.

Like I mentioned before in my post, I think it's amazing that people would really justify terrible things being said and happening to people just because they write dark fics online. If reading darker fics makes me equivalent to a fucking perpetrator, I guess killing random people in video games makes me a mass murderer to the real world.

But I guess my friend and I actually deserve to be told to kill ourselves multiple times, huh? Like no, forget all the times we donated to abused groups who needed mental and financial needs and leaped out to support any victim of abuse, it's the fact that we read and write darker themes for already fucked up characters that makes us deserve to be completely and utterly threatened with life threatening remarks, hm?

The sheer apathy people develop solely because others are kinda different than them is interestingly frightening. If you really meant what you said without any sarcasm in it, you're exactly the type of person I'm talking about.

Oh, and as for @vonclosen's post that I noticed you hearted:

i can’t help but notice that in this case, the original, injured party was largely gay & trans men, where misty is a cishet woman. she was in a place of privilege. she said some very, very transphobic, homophobic things, and then responded to (rightful) criticism by posting untagged r//pe fic. she did not sit, she did not listen, she did not learn, clearly.

Wrong and wrong.

First of all, Rabbit has been getting death threats by people who identify as male because of the fact that she simply doesn't want to write for male readers. She writes for cis women, but the anons in her inbox would not accept that, and thus sent her death threats. She is the victim in this scenario, not you or your friends.

Secondly, I know Rabbit would always tag her rape fics and would always place warnings on them for her readers. I never saw, not even one post where she didn't tag any heavy themed fic.

a lot of people who called her out on this were trans, queer, and often much younger people. a lot of people of color, as well.

By "calling her out" you meant random people harassing her for having a writing preference? In our discord, we welcome people of all genders, sexes, and races. She gets along with everyone, and always respects their pronouns, respects their race, and makes sure to voice her concern for any struggle based on their sex. I don't know who this "a lot of people" are, but I personally know a lot of people in our private group who never has anything bad to say about her.

while sending people serious, based-in-reality death threats is wrong and bad, obviously, i can’t help but notice how she weaponizes her “fear for her life” through “threats” on the internet. white, cishet women will often use this defense, consciously or unconsciously, to garner sympathy and get “protection” from like people.

So now you're saying that she's lying and exaggerating what she's been told by more than several people for the past few months? You think her mental health deteriorating because of harassers telling her to end her own life is being weaponized? How is her struggle hurting you?

i’ve personally had this used against me, many times. as a trans/queer native man, it’s a really disgusting and upsetting feeling to be the one wronged and have people still defending the person who was harmful/abusive in their behavior in the first place. people will play devil’s advocate, and, again, consciously or unconsciously flock to defend who is the most cis, heterosexual, and white in the situation–especially if that person is woman, who “needs to be protected”–even if what they were doing was objectively more harmful in real life. the pretend “threat” towards them (often not Real and Present, such as doxxing) is taken more seriously than the actual threat of triggering someone, being racist, being transphobic, being homophobic, et cetera.

Because she's my fucking friend. I know this woman. She has a life, a family, a boyfriend, with pets, and a talent/passion for writing. She has helped me, and others with personal struggles for MONTHS, while never ghosting or abandoning us unless she needed space for her own mental health. Of fucking course I'm defending her. I don't care that she's white. I don't care that she's a cis woman. I don't care that she only writes for cis women. I care about her because she's a genuinely good, and yet misunderstood person who's being antagonized by a bunch of bitch ass twats on Tumblr after all the work she's done to accurate analyze and write about her favorite characters. I know she's not racist. I know she's not transphobic. I know she's not homophobic.

The post where she "lost it and went bigoted" was literally after people were trying to threaten and scare her into writing for a group she has no preference for. If people went and harassed a gay man to get him to write for women constantly, over the course of months, he might snap and say some snappy things about simply not wanting to write for a bunch of butthurt people who probably have vaginas because of the fact that he simply wants nothing to do with their chest fat and "roast beef". And you know what? I wouldn't even be mad because he's a gay man who's entitled to writing for his own preference. In that scenario, those people need to learn that nobody needs to write for the genitalia between their fucking legs, especially if the writer simply doesn't feel like it. If I found a gay male artist, I am not going to bug him if he never drew women because it's not his "target", and thus he doesn't HAVE TO. So why the fuck does Rabbit just NEED to write for non cishet women after she specifically explained that she doesn't want to because it's gonna be trickier for her?

their objective–consciously or not– is to make the minority seem more dangerous to garner sympathy, protection, and to soften the blow of what they did wrong.

Oh yeah, because Rabbit being told to take her own life is about everyone EXCEPT for her. It's about all groups of people, near and far, EXCEPT for her. Victim. Fucking. Blaming much?

i’m not meaning to attack or be cruel to anyone with this post, but this is based off of a lot of extremely upsetting experiences i’ve personally had. i hope people can understand where i’m coming from with this.

And while your experiences are valid, this just isn't about you. I'm sorry, but it isn't. And I like that you were reblogged by one of the cunts, @bloody-boness, who literally harassed and sent death threats to Rabbit, so that's definitely doing wonders for your argument.

Just stop it. All of you. You already showed your asses enough.

Why the FUCK are anons so disrespectful to slasher writers?

You know what I just discovered? That someone sent a fucking death threat to @slasherrabbitmadness. For fucking what? For taking so much time to write incredibly long and detailed fanfictions about slashers, theoretical relationships and smut with the reader? For being honest about her writing preferences and saying that she only writes for female readers? For going beyond fluff material and exploring the darker aspects of the slashers the wrote about? Whatever the fucking reason that shithead anon thought was a reasonable idea to send this woman death threats is never going to be a good fucking reason.

I'm about to go on a fucking list on what the fuck is wrong with you specifically bitch ass anons who think they're fuckin' slick.

ENTITLEMENT TO OTHERS' WORKS:

First of all, these are writers who are writing for the fandom on their own accord. They're using their own skills, on their own time, and most importantly for their own pleasure. Everyone else's validation of their work comes SECOND. NOBODY is entitled to the time and skill from any fucking artist because they're human beings too. If a writer doesn't wanna write something, they don't fucking have to.

Oh now what are you anons gonna do? You gonna fucking cry? Get the fuck over it, and tuck your crocodile tears back into your ass crack. Not every writer has the time or interest for all of your requests and that's entirely fine because you simply cannot make someone do something they literally don't have to do anyway. That's life.

If you're sitting up here and harassing writers because they literally just didn't feel like doing your dinky ass request, move the fuck on and stop mentally reverting back to your kindergarten self. Your dumb, toilet clogged brain chooses to dehumanize writers from being people into the image of animals or robots who were built for your liking, and you need to fucking stop that if you wanna get on anyone's good side.

A writer listening to your request and DOING IT is a privilege in its own right, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO NOTHING. When writers write for you, you say thank you. When they don't, leave it at that and close your mouth.

These type of anons seem to wake up and expect the world to bend over backwards, create a buffet and kiss their cheesy anus when they should really be just grateful when any writer gives them time of the day and leave it the fuck at that.

BULLYING TOWARDS DARKER FICS:

I'm talking about fics that include the list of yandere, drug use, noncon, kidnap, and abuse themes. The issue with these themes is less that writers explore these concepts when writing about slashers, but more that anons and some blogs in general feel the need to bully writers who choose to explore these areas in their works. Random anons seem to bully writers who do noncon, abuse and/or yandere fics involving slashers because they're drunk on the fluffy side of the fandom while seemingly forgetting that these are SLASHERS.

I'm going to remind everyone in this fandom that slashers are NOT good people.

Michael got boners from murdering people in the novel, and even in the movies he's incredibly perverted.

Freddy Kruger consistently flirts with his victims. He literally kissed people against their will.

Jason Voorhees kidnapped a girl and became obsessed with her because she looked like his mom in the 2009 remake.

Billy Lenz invaded a sorority home, sexually harassed them, and is heavily implied to have sexually abused both his sister and the girl found dead in the park.

Bubba Sawyer held his chainsaw to a girl's pussy and let her live because he got horny. He was still ready to have her killed when Drayton said she had to be sacrificed for grandpa (the second movie).

Bo Sinclair straps people in his sex dungeon and is heavily implied to do "things" to them against their will.

Asa Emory, the Collector, was about to grope that one girl's tiddies in the first movie. Jesse Cromeans literally sexually abuses his victims for snuff films.

Brahms Heelshire was NOT going to let Greta leave without giving him a "real kiss" during the scene of her tucking him in bed.

And that's not even all of the perverted, and dark shit slashers do. All the writers who create darker stories really want to do is express how deeply disturbed many of the slashers canonically are in their works. They're bringing attention to the fact that probably the vast majority of slashers totally fucking would hold you hostage, at the very least. But as I mentioned before, many people seem to prefer the "softer" sides of the slashers. This isn't necessarily a bad thing because some people just prefer reading the more "average" stuff while some writers just don't like to write about darker things. That is A-okay.

But when people start harassing writers who write about darker themes just because "omg that is gross, how could you???" while turning around and dreaming about fucking and kissing Jason-kill count over 200-Voorhees, it just makes me wonder as to how people even got to that mindset.

Based on what I've seen, many people who hate darker fics about slashers to the point of bullying and wishing death to the writers has to do with many things.

First is the fact that lots of people in the slasher fandom actually either never paid close attention to or even WATCHED the movies to help themselves understand WHY some writers would write them in a "certain" way. Even if you never watched Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Boy, or whatever and you simply don't get what some people write about the slashers, your own confusion is absolutely no reason to harass people and I cannot fucking believe I have to explain this.

"But I'm a kid! You can't write that because I'll see it!!".

Get. The fuck. Out of here.

Below is a screenshot to prove my second point:

Another is many people, again, simply being full of shit. Some blogs and users have a strong holier-than-thou attitude about writers in the slasher fandom to the point where they feel the need to go in their targets' inboxes and insult them. Despite wanting fluffy content in their feed and easily having the ability to literally not read works with evil themes, these people feel SO empowered by their own preference that they ever so just "must" dictate what the fuck other people write and draw despite the source material consistently showing that we're dealing with fictional, murderous, and mentally unstable characters.

If other writers or users in the fandom aren't interpreting the slashers to how YOU think they should be interpreted, they apparently have to be burned at the stake....(sarcasm).

I'm going to go ahead and wrap this up by wishing the comfortability and safety of ANY writer who's been harassed by randos in their inbox

Just to name a few at the top of my head:

@slasherrabbitmadness

@ebonyslasher

@msgorillagripcoochie

@panteon-doll

@the-thot-clown

@supremethunda gets an honorable mention even though she's from the Marvel fandom. This is because she talked to me about the harassment towards writers in the Marvel fandom whenever they write fics with darker themes as well, and others can attest that the harassment there is even worse.

There are other people that have been harassed by some really rude anons before, but people sending one of my friends threats just hit the nerve for me to post this.

There needs to be more anons with humbleness, patience, appreciation towards the people they're requesting from because for fuck's sakes, they're human beings too. They have jobs, hobbies, friends, family and emotions. Is it SO hard to be fucking nice? It's not, so don't be stupid to these people and remember to use respect.

That being said, Happy Monday, and remember to stay horny for slashers.