#all my scientific interests are a lie

[c28hunter]

.

[thirstghosting]

im also interested to know how much it cost you so leave that in the tags, if you feel comfortable with it.

[simjaexy]

𝙊𝙪𝙧 𝙇𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙎𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙎.𝙅

pairing ⇀ professor! sim jaeyun x (f) student! reader

synopsis ⇀ you always knew your professor was attractive, so it wasn’t new when girls would try to gain his attention. what you didn’t know though was that he only had his eyes on you. what comes as a friendly teacher-student relationship takes a turn when you find yourself thinking differently about him with your private lessons together.

genre ⇀ smut, angst

warnings ⇀ MINORS DNI!, lower case intended, four year age gap (jake is 22 and reader is 18), tons of jealousy, cursing, jake is obsessed with oblivious reader, dom! jaeyun x sub! reader, name calling (slut, whore, and etc.), (f) receiving, pussy eating, unprotected sex, cum eating, choking, multiple orgasms

w.c ⇀ 5.4k

a/n ⇀ i don’t know why but this was and on and off fic i was doing cause i didn’t really like but i’m glad i finally finished it. i can’t tell if this was good or not because i was stressing on how to put the ending so bear with me on that. reblog, like, comment, etc.! lmk if i missed any warnings! not proofread.

masterlist here

the first time you saw professor sim was during the orientation week. you were a freshman, nervous and excited about starting your journey in college. the campus was bustling with activity, and you were trying to find your way to the science building for your first lecture.

as you walked through the crowded hallway, you accidentally bumped into someone, "oh, I'm so sorry!" you exclaimed, looking up to see a tall man with a kind smile.

"no worries at all," he replied, adjusting his glasses. "are you lost?"

"uh, yeah, actually. I'm trying to find the science building," you admitted, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"you're in luck. I'm heading there myself. i’m professor sim, by the way," he said, extending his hand.

you shook his hand, feeling a bit more at ease. "nice to meet you, professor sim. i’m l/n y/n.”

"well, y/n, follow me. i'll show you the way," he said, leading you through the maze of hallways. as you walked, you noticed his broad back through his suit. the suit fitting perfectly on him. you blushed watching him strut confidently past students and teachers watching him walk past.

you definitely won’t lie and say he’s not handsome. his glasses framing his face perfectly. you never knew you would like guys with glasses. he suddenly asked about your interests and what drew you to study science. his genuine interest in your answers made you feel welcome.

fast forward to the present, you were now in your second semester, and professor sim class had quickly become your favorite. his enthusiasm for science was infectious, and he had a knack for making even the most complex topics seem approachable. however, the latest homework assignment was proving to be a real challenge.

as you packed your notebooks and computer you saw a girl bluntly flirting with him. batting her eyelashes at him. it wasn’t new seeing different girls trying to talk to him, purposely saying they need help just to see him up close. you cleared your throat you gathered your courage and approached his desk. "professor sim, could I ask for some help with the homework? i’m really struggling with the concepts."

he looked up at you, a warm smile spreading across his face, completely ignoring the other girl in front of him. he probably knew what she was trying to do, "of course, i'd be happy to help. why don't you come by my office later this afternoon?"

the girl huffed at her non existence and walked away, leaving the both of you alone. you nodded, feeling a wave of relief.

later that day, you found yourself sitting across from him in his office. the room was filled with books and scientific models, and the faint smell of coffee lingered in the air.

"alright," he said, pulling up a chair next to you, "let's take a look at what you're having trouble with."

you pulled out your notebook, showing him the problems that had been giving you headaches. he patiently explained each step, breaking down the complex ideas into simpler terms. his explanations were clear and concise, and he used analogies that made the material more relatable.

"see? you're getting the hang of it," he encouraged, his eyes twinkling with pride. "sometimes all it takes is a different perspective."

as you worked through the problems together, you found yourself gaining a deeper understanding of the subject. you also couldn’t help but look at his side profile, his plump soft lips moving with passion for science was evident in every word he spoke, and it was impossible not to be inspired by his enthusiasm.

"thank you so much, professor jake," you said sincerely as you packed up your things. "i really appreciate your help."

"anytime, y/n. don't hesitate to reach out if you need more assistance," he replied with a smile.

you gave him another smile. you left his office feeling more confident and grateful for his guidance. professor sim had not only made the subject more accessible but had also shown you that with the right support, you could tackle even the toughest challenges.

over the next few weeks, you continued to visit his office for help, and each time, you left with a better understanding of the material. his encouragement and patience made all the difference, and you began to see science in a whole new light.

even though you guys only talked about science and just science, you couldn’t help but notice when sim would ask you questions outside of science. like ‘what do you think about your teachers?’ or ‘who’s your favorite teacher so far?’, and each time he’d ask, you would always say him.

one afternoon, as you were wrapping up another productive session, he asked, "so, y/n, have you thought about what you want to do after college?"

you paused, considering his question. it was new for him to ask that, "i'm not entirely sure yet. i know i want to do something in science, but I haven't decided on a specific path."

"that's perfectly fine," he said reassuringly. "you have plenty of time to figure it out. just remember to follow your passion and stay curious. the rest will fall into place."

you smiled, feeling a sense of reassurance, “thank you professor sim. i really appreciate that.”

you watch him push his hair back with a smile. you felt your heart skip a beat and immediately looked away, “i-i think i should get going. it’s getting pretty late.”

“you don’t need a ride do you? it’s pretty dark out since we practiced a bit longer than usual.” he reasoned. you thought for a moment. it is dark out and you don’t know who’s outside at this time. so, you nodded your head.

“great. i’ll tidy up before we go.” he said. you watched him put a few books away and tidying up his desk for tomorrow before grabbing his keys from his drawer. he then walked you to the door.

you both left the college and went to the parking lot. you felt yourself feeling nervous. it was your first time going with sim anywhere but his class. he went to a mercedes car making you hum in acknowledgement.

he chuckled at your reaction, “like it?” he teased. you nodded your head and giggled.

“i don’t really know cars that well, but i just know this one is expensive.” you said. his laugh causing a stir in your stomach.

you both entered the car and buckled up. he backed from the parking lot, “do you live on campus or somewhere else?” he asked.

“i live on campus, but the other one.” you spoke.

“you live pretty far? you walk here?” he murmured. he gazed at you curiously.

you chuckled, “it’s a good walk. i wake up a bit earlier so i’m not late for your class.”

he smiled at you, “if i would’ve known you go that far i’d spare you.” you shook your head and smiled back.

the car ride was silent, you let out a sigh and lay your head on the window. the past few days you haven’t been getting much sleep. you felt your eyes get a bit heavy.

“tired?” sim questioned. you opened your eyes back up and nodded.

“a little. sorry, haven’t really got much sleep. i’ve been so stressed out that i couldn’t sleep.” you joked, but it wasn’t really a joke.

sim hummed, he understood how tiring college could be, “you can take a nap. i mean if you want too. i’ll wake you up when we’re at the campus.” he said.

you smiled gratefully. soon your eyes became heavy and that’s when you fell asleep. your soft breathing soon filling the silence.

jake looked at your sleeping figure. you really were the prettiest student he’s ever seen. he knows it’s wrong to think of you like that. you’re supposed to be just a student to him, but he can’t help but think of something more.

your smile that makes him feel a type of way inside. your pretty laugh that he can’t help but adore. those thoughts were just something he thought weren’t bad, but his other thoughts were a bit more mature.

the way your outfits fit your body perfectly. your breast sitting perfectly in your bra, jiggling when you walk towards him. it’s hard for him not to get rock hard and stare. your fingers so pretty to him that he wonders if they're just as pretty inside your pussy. your glossy lips so pretty when they pout, he wonders what they would feel like around his dick. he just knows they’d stretch so pretty.

he soon parks the car in front of the campus. he shakes you softly, “y/n. we’re here.”

you groaned and turned away from him. he tried shaking you awake again, but you didn’t budge. he sighed and looked around. maybe he could just pick you up and take you to your dorm. that wouldn’t be weird right?

he got off his car and went to your side, opening the car door. he grabbed your backpack and slung it over his shoulder. he unbuckled your seatbelt and picked you up swiftly. he was hoping no one was awake at this time. he opened the door with his free hand and entered the building.

as soon as he unlocked your door he set you down on your bed with your bag on the chair. he couldn’t help but curiously look around. your room filled with collage photos of you and your friends. there was a photo of you and your parents. he slowly picked up the photo and smiled. you looked happy unlike the times you were in the halls.

he set it back down and was about to head out until he heard you making a noise, “sim please. down there.” you moaned out.

jake paused his walking and looked back at you. you were still sleeping, but your breathing started to become uneven and heavy. wait, were you having a dream about him?

he slowly prodded towards you and slightly shook you. you really were a deep sleeper. just then you let out another noise. it sounded like a whimper.

“fuck me sim.” you whispered.

what. the. fuck.

jake nearly choked on his spit. there was no way you talk this clearly in your sleep. were you joking with him? his breathing became unsteady with the uncomfortable feeling between his legs. he cursed at himself for still standing here and quickly left. locking the door on the way out.

he would just pretend he never heard you.

he couldn’t pretend. the whole day he was thinking about what you said last night. with him having to solve his little problem himself. you acted normally the way you did. you remembered he took you back to your campus cause you thanked him first thing when you saw him. if only he didn’t make it seem awkward.

you on the other hand was confused why professor sim was acting strange. were you snoring really loud in his car? you really hoped you didn’t.

as class came to an end, you packed your stuff. as you were packing you couldn’t help but look over at professor sim. your eyes went wide when you saw him talking to another female teacher. you didn’t even notice she came in.

they seem to be chatting about something funny cause sim was laughing a lot to what she was saying. you felt a weird feeling in your chest that you couldn’t describes. was it jealousy?

you sighed and put your bag over your shoulder and left the class without sparing another look. as you were walking you suddenly heard your name being called. you turn around expecting a specific person, but you saw that it was riki.

you gave him a fake smile, “hey riki.” you said. riki smiled once he caught up to you.

“are you okay? i tried texting you last night but you didn’t answer.” he asked. you pushed your hair behind your ear suddenly remembering last night again.

“o-oh i came home pretty early and fell asleep. did you need to talk about something?” you spoke.

riki nodded, “actually i was gonna talk to you about the project-“ “y/n.”

your eyebrows furrowed and looked behind riki, only to see none other than professor sim. he came closer to you guys, “you guys should head to class or you’ll be late, especially you mr. nishimura.”

the tone in professor sim kinda intimidated you. his voice bitter and sharp towards riki. riki nervously nodded his head and gave you a tight smile before walking past you. you looked at professor sim only to see him looking at you.

“did you need something professor sim?” you mumbled, feeling small under his strong gaze.

“don’t waste your time talking to guys and focus on your classes.” he suddenly said. his voice coming more harsh than he intended. your eyebrows furrowed felling a bit offended.

“excuse me?” you said “you should know i don’t waste my time on guys. riki isn’t just any guy, he’s my friend.”

before jake could say something you walked away. jake sighed and pushed his hair back. he didn’t mean to come out like that. he couldn’t shake that feeling of jealousy when he saw how close riki was to you. he’d have to apologize later.

you sighed when your last class finally finished. you were supposed to have your tutoring lesson with sim, but after that incident you don’t think you could go. you’ll just email him saying you’re sick. you left the college and walked to your campus.

you listened to a few playlists while walking. the cool breeze with the sunny sky made you feel relaxed. once you came to your campus you said hi to the lady up front and went to your room. you set your bag on the floor and sighed. a shower sounds good. before you went in the shower you emailed sim about your canc and shut your computer.

you took a quick shower and finished up. you wrapped a robe around your body and dried your hair with a towel, but before you could grab your phone you heard a knock at your door. you frowned, nobody barely knocks on your door, so who could it be. you opened the door and your eyes widened in surprise. it was sim.

“professor sim? what are you-“ “are you that mad at me?” he cut you off. you closed your mouth. is that why he came all the way here?

“professor sim im not mad-“ “so why are you ignoring me?” he said. you didn’t know it mattered that much to him.

“i-i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to cancel last minute.” you said. maybe that’s why he was upset. he doesn’t like when people cancel stuff last minute. he shook his head.

“i’m not mad if that’s what you’re thinking. i’m asking if you’re mad about what i did earlier.” he admitted. oh. that’s what he was talking about. to be honest you don’t know if you were really mad anymore. so, you shook your head.

“it’s okay. i’m sorry for being rude.” you muttered.

“i should say sorry too. i know you don’t do any of those things. i was just in a bad mood.” he said. was he really in a bad mood if he was talking to that female teacher happily?

you gave him a fake smile, “it’s okay professor sim. was that all you came here for.”

just as he was about to say something, he averted his gaze down and noticed you were in a robe. he felt his face burning and looked back up at you, “o-oh i’m sorry. did i interrupt your bathing time?” he stuttered.

“huh?”

you looked down and also noticed you were still in your robe. you gasped and moved the door in front of you, “i’m sorry!”

he tried shaking his head, but you just kept apologizing, “no it’s fine really! it’s my fault.”

you stopped apologizing and stared at him, awkwardness filling the air. he cleared his throat and looked back at you, “i-i’ll get going-“

“wait. i know this might sound weird, but do you wanna come in for a moment? we can do the lesson here if you're still up for it.” you thought. jake pondered for a moment before nodding.

you got done getting dress in your bathroom and came out. you saw sim sitting on the floor with textbooks on the wooden table you had in the middle of your room. he was looking around your room before staring at you.

you smiled at him and sat next to him, “we can start where we left off yesterday if that’s fine.” you said. he nodded and flipped the page to where you guys left off.

as you he taught you easy ways to get the answer, you felt yourself getting distracted once again by his visuals. you didn’t know what you were feeling at this point, it was a feeling you hated, but wanted to know more about. all of a sudden sim looked at you. you felt your breath get caught in your throat. he was staring at you with a questionable linger in his eyes. you felt his breath against your face. you guys were so close that if you moved a step your lips would touch.

“sim-“ “push me away if you don’t want this.” was all he said when you suddenly felt lips on yours.

you gasped and held tightly on his shirt. his lips molding against yours perfectly. you moaned when you felt his hand grip your ass, making him have access to enter his tongue. you felt your room getting hot as you lay on the ground with sim on top of you.

you took off his jacket while he helped you take it off without breaking the kiss. the dim lighting of your fairy lights making it seem darker than usual. he took off your shorts, only leaving your underwear on. he kissed and sucked along your jawline to your chest, kissing it gently. the sexual tension you guys had finally snapping in him. he lifted your shirt up and unclasped your bra. you felt the cold air hit your nipples and made a noise.

he smirked against your chest before gripping one breast and sucking the other. you let out a moan and gripped his locks. he groaned and pinched your nipple making you jerk.

“sim.” you whimpered. he looked up at you and departed from your breast.

he started unbuttoning his long sleeve button up, “call me jake.” he said. you bit your lip when you finally saw his toned body. god if you would’ve known he had that body under his suit you would’ve made a move sooner.

he leaned back down and kissed you gently, biting your lip making you sigh. you felt his right hand slowly going down until it made contact with your cloth pussy. you threw your head back when you suddenly felt him rub your folds up and down.

he dipped his hand in a second later and confused rubbing your folds, “fuck you’re so wet.” he murmured.

you nodded and kissed him again. both of your lips swollen. you wouldn’t want it any other way though. he took his fingers away and put them in his mouth. you watched intensely as he smirked at you. he got up and lifted you up bridal style before putting you on your bed. he unbuckled his pants and pulled them down revealing his boxers.

you gasp at the outline of his dick. you know it’s big. he got on top of you again and slid down your underwear. you felt yourself blushing with how he stared. you felt the urge to close your legs but before you could jake dipped his head down to your pussy.

“j-jake wait.” you moaned when you suddenly felt his hot tongue lick your folds.

he groaned as you gripped his hair again. he licked your folds again but this time he sucked on your clit. you thrash around at the new feeling as your eyes rolled back.

the sound of wet slurping noises was the only thing heard in your room. jake couldn’t get enough of your pussy. he was a completely pussy drunk man at this moment. your sweet juices leaking out, he knows you love it just as much as he does.

you felt a tight feeling in your pussy and patted his head, “j-jake m’gonna cum!” you cried out. he didn’t stop making you feel your climax coming. you let out one last moan before your orgasm finally hit. your legs shaking on the side of his head. he drummed up your cum like he was a dehydrated man.

you panted harshly and whined when he finally pulled away. he licked the rest on his chin, “fuck, you taste so good.” he says. he pulls his boxers down and that’s when you finally saw his dick. it was veiny and hard, precum at the tip.

“do you need to be prepped?” he said. you shook your head. you needed his dick in you now.

he positioned himself at your entrance before slowly pushing in. he groaned while you whimpered and held him tightly. he hissed when he felt you scratching at his back. slowly, he backed up and pushed back in so you could get used to the feeling.

a few minutes later you felt a pleasure tingling in your body, “j-jake faster. please.”

he didn’t need to be told twice. he started going at a faster pace and that’s when you were out of it. his tip hitting your g-spot.

“yes! right there! oh fuck!” you cried out. the sound of skin slapping, panting, and bed creaking was heard. you had a feeling people could hear you, but you could care less. especially with the way jake was fucking you.

he gripped your neck with a free hand, “such a little whore for dick. gonna be a good bitch for me?” he rasped out. you nodded your head frantically.

he felt you squeeze his dick and moaned. your pussy was a match made in heaven just for him.

you felt another orgasm coming and arched your back. he gripped your hips and snapped his hips harder. your orgasm hit you hard and you saw white. jake snapped his hips three more times before pulling his dick out, stroking himself on your stomach before cumming.

both of you panted uneven and hard. he got off your bed and grabbed the towel you used for your hair and wiped your stomach and wiped your pussy. you whined from sensitivity.

he grabbed another pair of pajamas for you and helped your put them on.

he put the towel in your dirty basket and went back to you, pushing your hair back, “i should get going.” he said.

you pouted, “do you have to leave?”

jake hated that he did, but he can’t get caught with his own student, “it’s for the better. you’ll see me tomorrow.”

you finally nodded your head. he covered you with your blanket and kissed your head, “goodnight beautiful.” he whispered. you soon dozed off into dreamland.

jake got dressed and looked at you one last time before shutting your door with a soft click.

you groaned feeling an ach in your body. you got up and went to your bathroom. you looked at yourself in the mirror and gasped. your neck was covered in hickeys from your neck to your chest. you traced your fingers along them and slowly smiled.

you took another shower and got dressed for the day. you out on a crew neck to cover your hickeys. good thing it was cold out today.

you soon got to the campus and entered your class to see jake already there typing on his computer. he didn’t notice you so you decided to sit down at your seat. once the bell ring he looked up from his computer and spotted you. he gave you a knowing grin before standing up, getting ready for the lecture.

“alright guys, did you finish the homework from yesterday?” he chimed. students began taking out their notes and handed them in. you turned yours in too. jake continued his lecture until the bell rang. students left the class while you waited until everyone left.

you went up to his desk and gave him a smile. he got up and gave you a hug. you giggled and stuffed your face in his neck.

“your not hurt anywhere are you?” he asked. you shook your head. he sighed in relief before letting you go.

“same time at my place?” you said. jake chuckled and quickly pecked your lips.

“i can’t today. i have a meeting to attend.” he spoke. you pouted, but understood.

“okay. i’ll see you later though right?” you said. he chuckled at your urgent question and nodded.

“of course you will beautiful.” he replied. you smiled cheerfully before leaving his class so he could attend his meeting.

over the next few days it would be the same. jake would come over to your dorm and would spend time with you, either having loving sex or just spending time together. everything was going just the way you wanted it too. until an incident happened.

rumors started to spread around campus. whispers of favoritism and inappropriate relationships between you and professor sim filled the halls. despite your best efforts to ignore them, the pressure was mounting.

one evening, after a particularly stressful day, jake asked to meet you in his office.

you opened the door to his office to see him already there in deep thought. you let out a gulp before going towards him, “jake?”

he looked up at you, but it wasn’t with the same loving look he usually gave you. “y/n, we need to talk," he began, his voice heavy with emotion. "i think we should stop what we’re doing. what we had was nothing but satisfaction we wanted to get off our chests.”

your heart sank, where was he coming from with this? satisfaction? getting it off our chest? you couldn’t help but feel tears pricking your eyes, “w-what do you mean? don’t you love me?”

jake stared at you as if you were just a regular person to him, “y/n, what we had wasn’t love. you were just a way to relive my stress. whatever you thought we had ends here. you may be dismissed.”

the lack of emotions in his voice finally made your tears fall freely.

you let out a sob, “i hate you! don’t ever talk to me again!” you screamed out before leaving his room, slamming the door shut.

weeks went by, and the pain of the breakup lingered. you threw yourself into your studies, trying to keep your mind off jake. even though you had him first period and he was your professor, you made a good route on ignoring him. none of it was easy, but you found solace in your friend, riki, who had always been there for you. his presence was comforting, and slowly, you began to smile again.

“are you gonna have that?” riki asked. you rolled your eyes at him before smiling. you gave him your cookie which he happily accepted.

you both were currently waiting at a bus station. after riki found out you walk a long way to the college, he insisted on paying for your bus rides as long as he gets to go with you.

“it’s way too cold out today.” you commented. riki nodded his head as he munched on the cookie. you shivered when a gust of wind blew at you guys. riki noticed your freezing state.

“come closer to me.” he said. you scooted a bit closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder. you sighed at somewhat of a closer warm feeling. as you guys continued waiting you saw a familiar car stopping in front of you guys. your eyes widened when the driver door suddenly opened revealing jake.

before you could think, jake yanked your wrist and pulled you away from riki. you yelped and tried taking your wrist away from him.

“what the hell are you doing?” you snapped at him. riki got up and tried to help you but jake stopped him.

“get the hell away or you’ll regret it.” he gritted his teeth. riki stopped and looked at you worriedly. you shook your head at him not to come any further. jake took you to his car, opening the passenger door and setting you inside. he slammed it shut before going to the drivers seat and entering.

you silently watched him start the car, leaving riki in the cold. you felt guilty and angry and looked at jake, “let me go jake! i wanna be with riki!” you yelled.

jake ignored you. you scoffed, “jake seriously. let me go!”

“stop talking or i’ll find a way to make you.” he said. you immediately stopped ranting and stared at him. you decided to stay silent. you knew you couldn’t fight him when it came to this.

in all honesty jake never felt so jealous before until now. you were so close to riki that something inside him snapped. at first he was gonna let it go since he’s the one that initiated the end to your relationship, but he saw a spark in your eyes that he hadn't seen in a while.

a pang of regret hit him hard. he realized that letting you go was a mistake. the rumors and the pressure seemed insignificant compared to the happiness he saw in your eyes.

you arrived at a building. you assumed it was an apartment building. jake opened your door when he came out. you stepped out when he grabbed your wrist and took you inside.

when you finally got to a room he unlocked it with a pin and entered it. the first thing you saw was shelves lined with scientific journals and textbooks, a whiteboard covered in equations and diagrams, but amidst all the science, there was also a comfy reading nook with a big, plush armchair and a collection of classic novels. you noticed how he had a nice window view of the city night. now that you thought of it, it was your first time at his place.

“you can take your jacket off.” he said. slowly, you took off your jacket. he grabbed it and settled it on a rack.

you stood there awkwardly and waited for his next move. he extended his hand out for you to grab. you took it as he walked you to the couch, “i’ll go get us some drinks.”

you sat down on the couch and waited. you didn’t know what to talk about to him. he came back with a drink and handed it to you. you grabbed it and took a small sip. he sat down next to you and that’s when he made he contact with you, but this time he had that same old look he gave you back then.

"y/n, I made a mistake," he confessed. "seeing you with riki made me realize how much i miss you. i thought i was protecting you, but all I did was hurt you. can you ever forgive me?"

you took a deep breath, the memories of your time together flooding back. you wanted to just drop everything and forgive him, but you knew it’s best to face reality.

“professor sim-“ “jake.” he cut you off.

you sighed, “jake, i forgive you, but i don’t think we can go back to the way it was. what you said really did hurt me that i couldn’t even eat or sleep. i don’t wanna go that same route again.”

jake looked at you regretfully. you just wanted to hug him and hold him forever. he stared down, “i understand. i don’t blame you at all. i really did fuck it up cause i was a coward.” he admitted.

“you’re not a coward jake. you just didn’t wanna lose your job.”

“but i lost you instead.” he said. now it was your turn to stare down. jake slowly lifted your head up with his hand under your chin.

"I promise y/n, i’ll do anything to get you back." he promised.

you gave him a smile. you know it’ll take time to work things out, but you knew if you did it together, nothing would stop you guys from being with each other. so, you cupped your hand on his and gave him a reassuring smile.

“i’m counting you on that sim jake. and if you do get me back, it can be our little secret.”

[undiscovered-horizon]

Eleventh Doctor x insecure/ anxious reader?

🫀REQUESTS ARE OPEN🫀 || Doctor Who-inspired playlist

"Cold feet" - 11th Doctor x Reader

SUMMARY: Funnily enough, after facing death and vicious aliens, it's small talk with strangers that gives you cold feet. Fortunately enough, you found yourself in the company of an expert on running away.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.9k

A/N: As an anxious person I cannot be thankful enough for people in my life who casually roll with my anxiety and don't try to "fix" it with cheap advice

"Time Lord to human! Are you listening to me?"

The sudden yelling shook you awake. Only then did you realize you zoned out in the first place, letting Doctor's rushed words brush right by you. You looked at him only to see pure annoyance seeping from his expression. Although you never meant to hurt him, the guilt still gnawed at you.

"Sorry, missed the last bit," you explained yourself as you awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck. "What were you saying?"

Instead of repeating his scientific ramblings which definitely would have been a little too fast and complex for you to understand, he shifted his posture to rest his hands on his hips. You felt as if he had caught you red-handed doing something he had absolutely prohibited you from doing.

"Oi, what's going on with you? It's like you've lost your head."

You absentmindedly shook your head to dismiss his worry. "Yeah, sorry, it's no-"

"Are you in love?"

For a moment you couldn't get any sound to leave your mouth. "What?" It was a bizarre conclusion to jump to. You couldn't tell what on Earth could even get him that idea. "No, it's on-"

"Good for you!" he said as he clapped his hands. "Now, moving on. Focus, eyes on me."

"Look, it's just that I've got a..." you suspended your voice thinking of the right word to use. The Doctor stared at you with wide eyes, clearly awaiting the second part of the sentence. "Thing."

"A thing?" he repeated in confusion. It seemed as if with each of your words he only grew more offended at your misplaced attention.

"Yes, a thing." Out of all the words you could have used, your choice seemed to have fallen on the worst and least exhaustive one. "My friend, Ada, is throwing a party for some of her college friends but apart from me everyone invited is from her course, so she's going to be the only person I know there."

"And that's what you've been thinking about while I was explaining my clever, clever plan?"

The Doctor stared at you with closely knit eyebrows. In some way, he couldn't fathom how a party invitation could be in any way more interesting than him showing off his extraordinary intellect and creativity. Choosing between a college party and aliens should have been a lot easier than it truly was.

"It's not as simple as it sounds, you know?"

"Alright, then tell me." By his hand-flapping and surprisingly undivided attention, you couldn't tell whether he was growing more upset or actually wanted to hear about what was troubling you.

"Honestly, I don't want to go but it's important for Ada. Also, I haven't seen her in ages. On the other hand..." your voice drifted away. Now that you've started this little heart-to-heart, it was pointless to lie to the Doctor - if successful, fooling him wouldn't gain anything anyway. "It's a party full of strangers."

For a moment he stared at you in silence, visibly expecting you to elaborate but truthfully, there wasn't anything more to say. The hypothetical group of strangers, as faceless as they were, was already stressful enough, even without giving them imaginary traits or habits.

"Strangers, right," he said as he clasped his hands. The sound echoed throughout the console room. He looked away for a moment, basking in enlightenment, before looking back at you. "How exactly is that a problem?" he dwelled on the subject. It seemed as if the discomfort of a company of strangers was hardly conceivable.

"You wouldn't get it." You vaguely waved your hand at him in a dismissive manner. Maybe it was unfair towards him but you really couldn't imagine a scenario in which he doesn't throw in a sarcastic comment about your anxiety. "I mean, how could you? Socializing has never been a problem for you."

"How could it be? People, party, cake, dancing. I love dancing! Great times, nothing to be scared of."

"Yes, there is: small talk and thirty people I've never met. And that's only the beginning."

Even the mere mention of that situation made a cold shiver run down your spine. A flutter of anxiety in your chest brought an unpleasant, suffocating sensation. Unconsciously, your face contorted in a grimace.

"You just go up to them and talk, what's hard about that?"

"Everything!" you exclaimed as you made a broad movement with your hands. "It's just... I can't do that. I physically can't make myself go up to a stranger and ask how they're doing, I'd rather hit my head against a wall. I know the theory, the 'walking through a house' metaphor, it's just... I can't force my body to do that. And when I do find myself talking to a stranger, I want it to end immediately. And the silence! Oh God, the silence... Like when you ask them a question, they answer and then the silence. The awkward silence of my anxiety, lack of social skills and being a generally uninteresting person. Just a bit of quiet and everyone knows I'm weird, awkward and-"

"Hey, hey, stop it!" he scolded you in a whiny voice as if you were a child. "Don't say that. You're not awkward or weird, you're brilliant!"

"Thanks, that's nice of you but unfortunately, I am self-aware."

He may have known you for weeks but you've known yourself for decades.

"No, really." He refused to let go. If the Doctor was going to spout cliche pick-me-ups, he appeared exceptionally committed to the meaningless act. "You crossed the universe as it is wide and long. Fought aliens and risked your life because a toddler couldn't sleep at night. Blimey, you told a Sontaran with a bomb bigger than your head to piss off. And it's house party small talk that gives you cold feet?"

Contrary to his presumption, the context didn't give you any comfort or motivation - it only made you feel worse. If you really were as brave as he made it seem, why couldn't you just start a conversation with your friend's guests? By the measure of saving the universe multiple times, you should be more than capable to do so.

"I know it sounds ridiculous and I agree it's stupid but it's not the same. When we're saving worlds it's a mission, a puzzle to solve." You paused for a moment but by your expression, the Doctor could tell there was something else on your mind. "And I've got you," you added.

"Me?" he asked sheepishly. The Doctor vaguely pointed his finger at himself. "What does that have to do with me?"

"You make me a little braver. I mean, you don't look scared even when you are, so it gives me a little push. I feel a little less anxious when I know that you've got my back."

"So what do you do when I'm not there?"

"Bail," you answered with a shrug. Were you really the same person who criticized the fashion choices of an alien with more guns than limbs? "I rarely go but when I do, I just run off around midnight like Cinderella." You made a small pause when you lowered your gaze, avoiding the Doctor's face. "Honestly, it always makes me feel ashamed like I'm making myself miss out on something but it's either that or panicking in the bathroom."

A silence fell between you. The Doctor's typical hand flapping came to a strange halt as he continued to stare at you with an inexplicable expression. He would have agreed on your resemblance to Cinderella, your regent-esque charm and princess-like beauty but there seemed to be a matter more important at hand:

"Has that ever happened?"

His voice was surprisingly quiet, hesitant even as if he didn't want to actually know the answer. Maybe he wasn't sure he was ready for the responsibility the knowledge would bring. The Doctor's words were barely audible over the whirring and wheezing of the TARDIS's engineering.

"Which part?"

"Panicking in the bathroom."

"Yeah," you said quietly. Your gaze fell to the floor. Looking for some kind of comfort, you slowly rubbed your arm. "It was New Year at my friend's, didn't know anyone there except for him. At some point, I just needed to take a break from being around so many people. I sat in the bathroom wearing a silver sequin ballgown and fought back tears. Funny, I probably looked equally pathetic and great. The only thing I could think about was how rubbish I was at just hanging out with people and, you know, being a normal teen at a normal teen party filled with normal teens. I just..." you stopped yourself at the last moment possible. A heavy, defeated sigh left your lips before you continued in a voice barely above a whisper. "I just wish I was a little less anxious."

"You never said anything."

"Why would I? It's not something I'm exactly proud of." You let out a bitter chuckle as you answered him.

Suddenly you found yourself engulfed in a tight hug. The Doctor's arms were tightly wrapped around you, his slow but ragged breath brushing against your neck. Surprised at the unforeseen affection, you hesitantly reciprocated the embrace. The tweed of his jacket was slightly coarse, some strings were coming out of the seams. He always smelled like burnt wires and a second-hand bookshop. At first, that distinct fragrance wasn't exactly pleasant to you but with time it became a beacon of hope, comfort, adventure and a good laugh.

"Oh, you brilliant, clever you," he quietly said in a sad voice.

Then he stepped away from you just as swiftly and surprisingly as he hugged you in the first place. The first thing you noticed was the change in his facial expression: the Doctor was no longer annoyed or concerned but excited as if he had just come up with a perfect solution to some mind-boggling problem.

"Well then, good thing you're not going alone this time."

"I'm... not?"

"Yes! A plus-one. It's still a thing, right? I'm your plus-one."

"That's sweet of you but you really don't have to. I'm fine on my own," you assured him, although he had no reason to believe you after what you'd already told him.

"Change of plans, sweetheart!" he exclaimed as he pulled one of the many levers. The TARDIS was about to take flight and it was a little too late for arguments and second thoughts. "We're going together and when people become a little too much we attend to an emergency," he said while running between different parts of the flight console. As if he was dancing, he made a whole circle around the control switchboard and stood in front of you once again. The Doctor stuck his index finger in your face as if reprimanding you once more. "No panicking in the bathrooms."

"Wait, what emergency?" you asked as he was already taking directions to your hometown.

"You know, this very real emergency that can't wait and we have to take care of it at the very moment. The crisis that I definitely did not invent just now."

"Right..." you drew out your answer as you caught on to his ruse. A smile crept unto your face. "Time travellers, defenders of the universe. You can never know when you're needed. Any suspicions as to what the emergency is?"

"Laskos' fourth moon. There's that small waffle bar that might need an inspection."

[evilscientist3]

so do you actually support ai "art" or is that part of the evil bit :| because um. yikes.

Let me preface this by saying: I think the cutting edge of AI as we know it sucks shit. ChatGPT spews worthless, insipid garbage as a rule, and frequently provides enticingly fluent and thoroughly wrong outputs whenever any objective fact comes into play. Image generators produce over-rendered, uncanny slop that often falls to pieces under the lightest scrutiny. There is little that could convince me to use any AI tool currently on the market, and I am notably more hostile to AI than many people I know in real life in this respect.

That being said, these problems are not inherent to AI. In two years, or a decade, perhaps they will be our equals in producing writing and images. I know a philosopher who is of the belief that one day, AI will simply be better than us - smarter, funnier, more likeable in conversation - I am far from convinced of this myself, but let us hope, if such a case arises, they don't get better at ratfucking and warmongering too.

Many of the inherent problems posed by AI are philosophical in nature. Would a sufficiently advanced AI be appreciably different to a conscious entity? Can their outputs be described as art? These are questions whose mere axioms could themselves be argued over in PhD theses ad infinitum. I am not particularly interested in these, for to be so on top of the myriad demands of my work would either drive me mad or kill me outright. Fortunately, their fractally debatable nature means that no watertight argument could be given to them by you, either, so we may declare ourselves in happy, clueless agreement on these topics so long as you are willing to confront their unconfrontability.

Thus, I would prefer to turn to the current material issues encountered in the creation and use of AI. These, too, are not inherent to their use, but I will provide a more careful treatment of them than a simple supposition that they will evaporate in coming years.

I would consider the principal material issues surrounding AI to lie in the replacement of human labourers and wanton generation of garbage content it facilitates, and the ethics of training it on datasets collected without contributors' consent. In the first case, it is prudent to recall the understanding of Luddites held by Marx - he says, in Ch. 15 of Das Kapital: "It took both time and experience before workers learnt to distinguish between machinery and its employment by capital, and therefore to transfer their attacks from the material instruments of production to the form of society which utilises those instruments." The Industrial Revolution's novel forms of production and subsequent societal consequences has mirrored the majority of advances in production since. As then, the commercial application of the new technology must be understood to be a product of capital. To resist the technology itself on these grounds is to melt an iceberg's tip, treating the vestigial symptom of a vast syndrome. The replacement of labourers is with certainty a pressing issue that warrants action, but such action must be considered and strategic, rather than a reflexive reaction to something new. As is clear in hindsight for the technology of two centuries ago, mere impedance of technological progression is not for the better.

The second case is one I find deeply alarming - the degradation of written content's reliability threatens all knowledge, extending to my field. Already, several scientific papers have drawn outrage in being seen to pass peer review despite blatant inclusion of AI outputs. I would be tempted to, as a joke to myself more than others, begin this response with "Certainly. Here is how you could respond to this question:" so as to mirror these charlatans, would it not without a doubt enrage a great many who don't know better than to fall for such a trick. This issue, however, is one I believe to be ephemeral - so pressing is it, that a response must be formulated by those who value understanding. And so are responses being formulated - major online information sources, such as Wikipedia and its sister projects, have written or are writing rules on their use. The journals will, in time, scramble to save their reputations and dignities, and do so thoroughly - academics have professional standings to lose, so keeping them from using LLMs is as simple as threatening those. Perhaps nothing will be done for your average Google search result - though this is far from certain - but it has always been the conventional wisdom that more than one site ought to be consulted in a search for information.

The third is one I am torn on. My first instinct is to condemn the training of AI on material gathered without consent. However, this becomes more and more problematic with scrutiny. Arguments against this focusing on plagiarism or direct theft are pretty much bunk - statistical models don't really work like that. Personal control of one's data, meanwhile, is a commendable right, but is difficult to ensure without merely extending the argument made by the proponents of copyright, which is widely understood to be a disastrous construct that for the most part harms small artists. In this respect, then, it falls into the larger camp of problems primarily caused by the capital wielding the technology.

Let me finish this by posing a hypothetical. Suppose AI does, as my philosopher friend believes, become smarter and more creative than us in a few years or decades; suppose in addition it may be said through whatever means to be entirely unobjectionable, ethically or otherwise. Under these circumstances, would I then go to a robot to commission art of my fursona? The answer from me is a resounding no. My reasoning is simple - it wouldn't feel right. So long as the robot remains capable of effortlessly and passionlessly producing pictures, it would feel like cheating. Rationally explaining this deserves no effort - my reasoning would be motivated by the conclusion, rather than vice versa. It is simply my personal taste not to get art I don't feel is real. It is vitally important, however, that I not mistake this feeling as evidence of any true inferiority - to suppose that effortlessness or pasionlessness invalidate art is to stray back into the field of messy philosophical questions. I am allowed, as are you, to possess personal tastes separate from the quality of things.

Summary: I don't like AI. However, most of the problems with AI which aren't "it's bad" (likely to be fixed over time) or abstract philosophical questions (too debatable to be used to make a judgement) are material issues caused by capitalism, just as communists have been saying about every similarly disruptive new technology for over a century. Other issues can likely be fixed over time, as with quality. From a non-rational standpoint, I dislike the idea of using AI even separated from current issues, but I recognise, and encourage you to recognise, that this is not evidence of an actual inherent inferiority of AI in the abstract. You are allowed to have preferences that aren't hastily rationalised over.

[strangelittlestories]

The new god of tricksters approached the turnstile that led to the mortal realm.

To the side of each turnstile was a booth. And in each booth sat a psychopomp - the guides and guardians that stood between realms. 

The lines were short as it was early afternoon during an Age of Reason, where new gods were not in high demand (as opposed to an Age of Reasons, plural, when the world churned through fresh deities to excuse all kinds of bullshit).

The new god was nearly at the front of the line. Ahead of them, a new genius loci of a small scientific library approached the booth. They were interrogated by a psychopomp who was 90% alligator teeth and 10% your mother’s disappointed eyes.

After a short conversation, the science spirit was eaten for being a contradiction-in-terms.

The trickster god stepped nervously through the gore of poorly edited academic citations.

“Hi.” Said the god, plastering on a smile.

“Name and nature?” The psychopomp’s grinding tone suggested it had neither the interest nor the bodily architecture for engaging on smalltalk (and would only be let down by your efforts anyhow).

“Interesting question. For part A I’m not sure I have one yet and I’m getting the feeling I *may* want to keep it secret anyhow. As for part 2 … I think my answer to part A might give you an inkling as to my nature.”

Imagine a creature made of many tiny bone knives coated with the venom of parental mortification. Imagine it sighing. The kind of sigh to end a universe or ruin a graduation.

“I have to fill out the form.”

“Tell you what … you’ve got most of a form already filled out from the poor sod before me.” The new god tried out a grin for the first time. “I’ll just give it a quick edit, bring it up to your standards, then presto theologio, god’s a good’un.”

“...it’s against the usual policy. But I do kind of want to see how this plays out.”

“Your confidence is appreciated.” The god fine-tuned their grin, turning up the sharpness and turning down the symmetry.

“Oh no.” Too many teeth smiled back at the god. “I just want to see how badly you’ll fuck it.”

The god decided not to press their luck and busied themselves with the form. They even kept their doodling in the margins minimal. Towards the end, they looked up at the psychopomp and asked:

“I think there’s a typo here. It’s asking me if I want to take out enhanced faith-based ‘lie-ability’ protection on behalf of my prospective followers?” The god indicated a part of the form with a finger that was entirely new to pointing and doing a bang-up job. “Surely that should be ‘liability’? As in, do I want *them* to have legal protection in case they get caught doing trickery? Or do I want to protect *myself* from being held accountable for their actions?”

“No typo. Special offer for tricksters. ‘Lie-ability’ - as in, for your followers’ faith to let them prevaricate more proficiently. For the strength of their belief to drip like ink from their tongues and rewrite the world into a more *pleasant* story.”

“Well, at five Revelations and ninety-nine Inspirations per century, it certainly seems like a steal. And I think I might be into stealing… Sign me up.”

“As we say in the business:” The psychopomp winked disconcertingly. “If your followers are *able to lie*, you’ll never be *liable*.”

Later, the god of tricksters might regret not asking why the previous applicant’s form had had a special section for trickster gods.

Or they might not. Some stories were more fun if you didn’t get bogged down in the details, after all.

[crownmemes]

Scientist Sentences

(Sentences for muses with a scientific background. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Genetically, humans and cows are separated by only a couple of lines of DNA."

"I don't have enough information to form a hypothesis yet."

"There are simply some things that science is just too young to understand."

"Maths doesn't take sides. It doesn't judge."

"I will not trust you on something I can't verify!"

"Science and technology have reached a point where our means are finally catching up with our imagination, and the only thing preventing us from doing truly visionary work are these morally based restrictions that lawmakers put up in the name of public policy."

"My understanding was that you believed in rationality above all else."

"There is no god in this lab but me."

"My interest is purely academic. I do not like to get my hands dirty."

"Lab rule number one: do not borrow my equipment without asking!"

"I suspect someone has continued my research."

"Your lack of scientific interest is amazing."

"I must say, your brain would make an excellent specimen."

"Science has no price tag!"

"Things like this used to happen in the lab all the time!"

"Human memory is sensory-based. Vision alone is not the strongest trigger. Sound and smell actually work better."

"You're trying to create a wormhole into another universe?"

"Forgive me, I like to have an open mind, but I have a hard time accepting your theory."

"You're asking for an explanation for something that can't be explained rationally."

"I'm a man of science, but I can't find a rational explanation for this!"

"You put such faith in your science, but the things I've seen, science provides no place to start."

"I'm a scientist. This is my research, but you probably wouldn't understand."

"I want to put you in a little glass jar and then label your parts in Latin."

"In the end, it all comes down to one simple question - which is more important: having proof, or being alive?"

"No, I don't want to do that. In fact, I'd rather not! I'm just saying that I can."

"Our test subjects were less compliant than we anticipated."

"Who am I to play god with other people's lives?"

"Are you sure you want to do this? Submit yourself to these experiments?"

"That looks complicated! What is it?"

"People lie. Numbers don't."

"One of the inherent pitfalls of being a scientist is trying to maintain the distinction between God's domain and our own."

"You really aren't like other scientists."

"I need a corpse. Any corpse will do, but it shouldn't have been dead for more than two days."

"Why would anyone kill a scientist? What did we ever do?"

[enquire]

Mystic Moonshade

I think I finally figured out what to do with Mikako, so here we are.

This design was a little more out there, as I went for making her a zebra/okapi/pony hybrid!

My intent was to give her a connection to other forms of magic, and give her a bit of a mysterious vibe. The one zebra in MLP we get, Zecora, is an expert in potions and obscure medicinal magic/plants, and is a general example of a pony who uses alternative magic in a way.

I think Equestria's non-unicorn based magic; things like alchemy, potions, charms, earth pony and pegasi magic, curses, magical creatures, and of course, spirits, ghosts, and the like, would fit in well with the 'ultimate excorcist' talent. So Moonshade is an expert in all things supernatural, and obscure. (since magic is an everyday thing in Equestria after all) Still focuses most of all on the departed, but she has a lot of knowledge /interest in various stuff.

Her okapi aspects came from wanting to give her extra horns (which might be capable of producing some slightly different magic) and because the markings give here a bit more a mysterious vibe which I liked. It's a bit more detailed, but I think it's fine for now at least. Her unicorn horn functions the same way any other unicorn's would.

Anyway, on to her little background info segment:

Mystic Moonshade is passionate about Equestria's strangest and most unknown phenomena. Ever since she got her cutie mark, she's been uncovering secrets and solving mysteries; from hauntings to ancient artifacts, Moonshade explains the unexplainable. Either via science, magic, or through healing the hearts and minds of the ponies involved.

She's discovered and named several new creatures, placated spirits, and even managed to lift the decades old curse or two. But her biggest strength might not lie in the supernatural, but rather in soothing the hearts of those faced with the problems and occurrences she is called to solve.

When she was just a filly far too young to remember her parents or where she came from, Moonshade fell into a river and almost drowned. She was swept far away, only managing to survive by clinging to a hollow log.

She was spotted by a pony named Spark Stardust, not far from Canterlot, who immediately dived in after the tiny filly. After rescuing Moonshade, he brought her home to stay with himself and his son, Gizmo.

She couldn't offer any explanation as to how she had gotten there, or much of any information about herself beyond her name. The Equestrian Guard opened an investigation into her parents, but without much to go off of, and a huge distance potentially between Canterlot and where she had fallen into the river, they had very little success.

No pony ever came forward looking for a missing filly matching her description, and the leads quickly ran dry. After a year, Moonshade had already begun to become a part of the Stardust family, so when the time came that Moonshade was officially labeled an orphan, Spark decided to adopt her.

It took some time for Gizmo and Moonshade to adjust to it, but in time, they became extremely close. Nowadays, the two of them are often seen together, and both support the other in any way they can. Gizmo has created multiple inventions in order to help Moonshade in her work, including a arguably effective ghost detector, and a more practical set of very durable saddlebags with locks for when Moonshade comes across an item with less than stable properties, or that is particularly valuable. Meanwhile, Gizmo's go-to unicorn for help testing his inventions is his sister. They have participated in many experiments together, both scientific, magic, and everything in between.

Gizmo's inventions often rely on magic as much as science, and most of his knowledge on the subject came from Moonshade. He also has gone on many of his sister's quests and travels, helping her bust myths and the occasional ghost.

Moonshade has an uncanny ability to read other ponies. While she cannot read others' thoughts, or anything like that, she can sometimes sense more hidden emotions, and other things like that. If Moonshade says somepony is giving her a bad vibe, it's probably with good reason. This leads to her both being an excellent judge of character and being very good at noticing when something is wrong. For example, she was the first one to pick up on and understand Saber's invisible wounds even though he almost never lets a single glimpse show on the outside. She also has a knack for sniffing out secrets.

This ability of hers only gives her insight into where to direct her attentions, though; it doesn't reveal all, and in fact can sometimes be altogether unhelpful, as the feeling that something is wrong without being able to pinpoint what can be quite frustrating.

Moonshade is more of an extrovert than her brother, being fine with meeting various strangers for her work, and the one responsible for introducing her brother to many of his acquaintances and friends.

Out of the group besides her brother, she is closest with Thrift, as the three of them were childhood friends. She also managed to get Ember to warm up to her impressively fast, despite them not knowing each other for as long or and living in different places. The two of them bonded over their penchant for unraveling supposedly unsolvable puzzles, and reading. Whenever Ember visits Canterlot, she makes it a priority to spend time hunting through the cities many bookshops with her.

Moonshade is not as close with Saber as he is with Gizmo, but they are still good friends, and with Gizmo and/or Thrift often around they are often drawn together regardless. (and happy for it) Saber is one of the few ponies Moonshade often finds herself spending time with in comfortable silence.

It's not like she and Clover aren't not friends, but for some reason, there always seems to be a bit more distance between them, and Moonshade is a bit bugged by the fact that she knows very little about him compared to everypony else. Despite him being very close with some of her closest friends, she is more familiar with most of her acquaintances than she is with him. And for whatever reason, they never seem to end up one on one, either.

I think that's it for her! I always start these background posts thinking 'I don't have enough lore for this one yet' but then end up filling up the post by the end haha. To be honest, I struggled a lot with her design, and going a more unique route helped me land somewhere, but I'm still not entirely sure about it. I'll have to think about it.

Also, I think "mystic" moonshade is alright, but perhaps another first name could be better. Also, Spark Stardust for Hanzo is still up in the air. I'll see if it sticks... I wanted he and Gizmo to have a family naming convention that fit with Stardust Industries, but it is a bit unusual to have the exact same word in their names by MLP standards... I was going for something like the Pie family names, but I'm not too sure about "Spark." It's just okay.

Saber Frost, Cold Steel, and Radiant Ember are my favorite names so far. Coming up with pony names is surprisingly fun. It's great when I can get some phonetic similarities in as well haha. (Radiant Ember - Rei Mekaru anyone?)

[queenshelby]

Chemical Reactions (P. 14)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy as J Robert Oppenheimer x Student Reader

Warning: Age-Gap, Infidelity, Smut

Words: 4,566

Note: The fic is spoiler free and my own fantasy and imagination. It is not historically and scientifically accurate.

Previous Parts: 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9; 10; 11; 12; 13

Six weeks later...

Six weeks had passed since you moved to Los Alamos, and, at least for now, life was good.

Kitty Oppenheimer had not contacted her husband, Robert, lately as, unfortunately for her, her mother had fallen ill, which prevented her from visiting Los Alamos, which you and Robert were not particularly upset about.

You spent almost every day at the laboratory, working on and researching a plutonium implosion device that was not, at least officially, approved by Robert yet as he tried hard to juggle some conflicts amongst the scientists.

There was some dispute between them, and most believed that an implosion device was too difficult to establish, so Robert asked you to research whether a reaction like the one proposed by two scientists was even just a remote possibility.

Of course, you quickly learned that it was. There was a slight chance that an implosion could work, but you could not achieve anything further without vast research funding, which he now tried to obtain.

As such, Robert knew about your work and handed the theoretical papers to you on a silver platter after you came up with a scope on how a reaction may be achieved before telling you to treat your research cautiously as it involved the handling of plutonium.

Robert was very protective of you, which some of the others in the experimental department soon became aware of, joking that, perhaps, his great mind had fallen under your spell.

As such, you had quite a few admirers on site, and, ironically, this included another scientist named Klaus Fuchs, who moved to the States from the UK as part of a team.

Klaus Fuchs, to you, appeared like a strange guy. He was somewhat odd and introverted, and if it weren’t for Lilli, who reminded you that physicists are strange creatures, you would have become suspicious of him.

Suspicion, however, was also something that you were subjected to regularly as, since your arrival, you were interrogated by Officer Nichols weekly. Officer Nichols was interested in your liaisons on site, and, for some reason, he was also interested in your relationship with Dr. Oppenheimer, which, by now, had gained some attention even from your acquaintance, Lilli.

Lilli had noticed that you were barely at T-101 and would, most nights, not come back to your room at all. She assumed that you were seeing someone and, having taken a liking to you, she told you to be cautious.

“Don’t liaise with army officials and don’t liaise with any of the married scientists,” she cautioned you, and you promised her that you would not. This promise, though, was a lie, and this lie was not something you were proud of.

You wanted this lie to end now that you had what you thought you never wanted. You had found love, and this was something you did not expect.

Spending time with Robert every night made you feel good, and it was not just the sex you were interested in anymore as, most nights, you would listen to music, read poetry, or sit in silence for a while.

His house was comfortable, and you could come and go at your leisure, and although you still had to hide your relationship from others, it felt natural when you spent time with him at his cottage. He was right when he said that, on occasion, it would be just him and you, and it was those moments you spent together, in his bed, in his bathtub, or even just on his lounge, that made you feel special.

Every night you spent with him, he called you ‘my love’ and told you how much you meant to him as he finally considered divorcing his wife Kitty once all this was over. Until then, he wanted you to promise that you would stay with him and support him through this, and, of course, this was a promise you were willing to make.

You were prepared to walk through fire for Robert, and he was very much prepared to do the same for you. He said that, in you, he had found his soulmate and equal, and even though you could see that, just after a few months of working on the project, he was incredibly stressed; he was also very committed, not only to you but also to end the war.

***

The war was a topic that came up amongst you and others regularly. It was a topic of great concern, and since everyone knew what the team was working on, talking about the end was not considered an issue.

“After the war, what will you do?” you asked Robert on another stormy evening in Los Alamos while snatching the cigarette from his mouth and resting your feet atop his lap. As usual, you were sitting on the lounge with him, completely naked, while listening to the force of the rain against the windows and sipping on martinis.

“After the war, I will take you to France,” Robert told you, caressing your feet, causing you to squirm.

“To France?” you asked, chuckling slightly, and he knew you were ticklish. “Why France?” you wanted to know just as Robert’s lips met the naked flesh above your breasts.

“Well, France used to be a nice place which is more than suitable for me to propose to you, yes?” Robert told you, which caused you to chuckle.

“Propose?” you asked, surprised, before caressing Robert’s hair as he gently kissed your breasts.

“Yes. I want to marry you” Robert murmured against your naked flesh, and you pulled him up on his hair, making him look you in the eyes.

“To marry me, you must first divorce your wife, so until then, I will not accept your proposal anyhow,” you pointed out sternly, causing Robert’s deep blue eyes to widen.

“As I have told you, I will divorce Kitty when this is over,” he told you, and you wanted to ensure that he would keep that promise.

“You promise?” you thus said as, slowly, his lips moved upward toward your neck and then your ear.

“I promise, my love,” Robert whispered into your ear before outlaying the rest of his plans, which included for you to finish your research on dark matter and obtaining your Ph.D. while Robert was working at another institution, teaching what he loved the most, namely quantum mechanics.  

“This sounds too good to be true, Robert,” you told him before pulling him on top of you as he continued to kiss and bite your neck gently.

“We will make it true. Just you and me,” he said before descending downward toward your stomach again for the second time that night.

***

“Robert, you just came inside me. You can’t possibly go down on me again” you moaned as Robert’s lips descended even further until they reached the area above your mound.

“Yes, I can,” Robert interrupted you before he lowered himself between your legs and put his mouth on you, and you thought you might die from the wrongness of it.

“Oh, Sweet Jesus, that’s so deliciously inappropriate,” you moaned wildly when you saw Robert’s head moving between your legs, and the sheer perversity of it just flat-out did it for you.

“Nothing about our relationship has been appropriate thus far, my love. Now spread your legs wider,” Robert ordered as your body began to quiver with need, your thighs longing to wrap around his head and pull him further into you.

To Robert, you tasted like peaches, and his cock pressed against the sofa, hardening again as he buried himself in your sweetness.

As he worked your body with his mouth, tongue laving between your wet folds, he thought he could be happy just staying here and doing nothing but taste, drink, and suck on your flesh.

But in the end, he needed and wanted more and knew he would not have long to wait. Your whimpers were music to Robert’s ears, and he knew that, soon, you would cum again. Just like that. And you did, within mere minutes. 

The sweetness of your combined juices flooded his mouth as you came hard, within as little as five minutes after he had started his ministrations. Your body was shaking and quivering as you submitted to your lover helplessly while finding pleasure in this somewhat taboo act.

“Oh god, please,” you moaned as Robert slid his tongue inside you and felt your body quiver again.

“Yes, my love,” he teased after he pulled it out again and then sucked hard on your clit, spiralling your pleasure into multiple waves of ecstasy.

Your eyes were filled with tears, and the orgasms Robert was giving you were always so intense that you barely managed to cope. It felt like a cascading waterfall of pleasure that dashed you against the rocks repeatedly... your body felt utterly wrung out. You were exhausted and, as he pulled himself up, lips glossy with the nectar from your body, you knew that your night was not over yet. Staring down at you, his eyes dark with a hunger that had increased with every minute, you felt excited again and demanded more.

“Fuck Robert, I need you inside. Please,’ you begged as Robert kneeled between your legs without losing time.

“Someone needs to teach you some patience, my love,” he determined as you felt something pushing into you again. It was one of Robert’s fingers, and your body quivered in response. You were so sensitive, your nerves so stimulated, from all the rapture he had heaped upon you, that just that one touch was enough to give you an aftershock of that pleasure. Another finger slid inside you, and the two began pumping in and out as you squirmed and adjusted to this second invader.

“Jesus Robert. Please,” you moaned. Eventually, Robert began pushing a third digit into your body, and you whimpered with need.

“God, you are incredibly sexy like this, sweating and moaning,” Robert told you as you closed your eyes against his hot gaze, focusing entirely on the things he was making you feel, on the sensation of his hand inside you.

Then they were gone, and there was movement on the lounge. You opened your eyes just in time to see him watching your face as something thick, velvety, and hard pushed against your core. Finally.

‘Fuck, yes,” you thus moaned as you tried to look down your body, but then your head fell back as Robert's hips moved, your insides splitting open again to accommodate his cock with one swift thrust.

You cried out. The sensation was intoxicating. It was an exotic pressure that began working its way into your body... then out... then in... you gasped and struggled, not to stop him exactly... but because you couldn't help yourself. Your body wanted to pull him closer, to touch him, run your hands through his hair. You did not know where to feel him first as his meaty thrusting continued, his eyes on your face, reading every expression, every nuance in the wrinkle on your brow, the flutter of an eyelash.

‘You feel incredible,’ Robert groaned as he couldn't believe how exquisitely tight you still were. How wonderfully wet. Beautiful, even with tears on your lashes from your previous orgasms and your lips parted wide with arousal.

Inch after inch, he sank deeper inside you, claiming this territory for his own, spreading it around him. With every movement, you gripped and squeezed his length as your body was naturally massaging his cock, without any effort.

Robert could feel the slight movements in your hips and, as he slid home and fell on top of you, buried his face into your neck and enjoyed the incredible sensation of being balls deep inside you. You made small sounds in your throat, and he kissed your neck. Underneath him, your body rolled a little, and he moaned against your shoulder as your insides clamped down on him, squeezing him tight and fast.

‘I love you so incredibly much,” he moaned, and his hips started to move immediately. He tried to be gentle and move slowly, as much as he could force himself to. You just felt so damn good.

“I love you too, Robert. Fuck” you moaned as Robert's parts were fused with yours, and, as always, it felt incredible.

You felt stretched, full, and that hunger was back. How it was possible you could want another orgasm, that there could be anything left in you to come again, was incomprehensible to you, but it was true, and he managed to get this sensation out of you every time. Your entire body shuddered as Robert began moving, his cock pushing in and out of you like his fingers had, but going so much deeper, spreading you so much wider.

As Robert pushed himself onto his hands, looking down at you, the angle of his entry changed, and you cried out more loudly. He was hitting that excellent sweet spot again that made you tighten up and stoked the fire that had already been rekindling.

Lowering his head, Robert took your nipple into his mouth, sucking it deep into his mouth, and you felt it like an electrical line straight to your pussy where he was hitting deep inside of you. His thrusts were becoming more brutal, faster, and you whimpered as your body was fuelled by pain and pleasure.

Robert could feel that he was going too fast for you, but it was so hard to slow down. Gripping his emotions and body tightly, he forced himself to ease down on the pace, slowing the thrusts... but he made up for it by grinding himself against your spread wetness every time your bodies came together. Your body relaxed and then tensed. His cock bounced up and down inside of you, massaging the walls of your pussy, shoving itself as deeply into you as he could. And, as you had whenever sleeping with him, you responded, a convulsion suctioning down on his cock, sucking him deep inside you. God... your already taut sheathe tightened even more, and he groaned as your body pulled at him. He rubbed against you, watching you whip your head back and forth in ecstasy. The eroticism of the moment was raw on his nerves. Pushing harder, grinding faster, he prided himself on the wail from your mouth as you came all over his cock.

And then he was lost in sensation as your spasming pussy nearly undid him. Releasing a growl from his throat, he let himself go, finally and inescapably.

You sobbed your rapture, the overwhelming crash of your orgasm shattering your body and taking you to new highs as Robert began a bruising pace, shoving himself in and out of your body as you writhed in ecstasy beneath him. You were completely open to him, and the sensation became almost painful in its sheer power as he bore down on you. And yet, it felt incredible, and you screamed, sobbed, and writhed, your body a mass of explosive bliss that seemed never-ending. When he suddenly stopped thrusting and held himself inside you, something deep within your core pulsed, and your back arched, your insides squeezing and milking him as your pleasure culminated, and you passed out for a moment.

When you opened your eyes, the hardness between your legs was softening, and you could feel his cock changing inside you. Robert was kissing your neck, your forehead, and then your lips.

You still whimpered, sucking deep breaths of cool air, your lungs heaving beneath him. He was such an incredible weight on top of you, encompassing you. Robert gave you a few moments to breathe, and then he leaned in and caught your swollen lips again with his, pressing his tongue into you. This time the kissing was different. Softer, more intimate. Less demanding. You kissed him back, pushing back against him, and he shuddered on top of you, his hips thrusting forward again, and you cried out into his mouth with pleasure as a shiver of that delightful culmination shivered through your again. Your body squeezed, and you felt him leave you.

“God, I can’t believe that there is more inside of you,” you joked after taking a deep breath and feeling his cum leak from your rather sore core.

“You have no idea, my love. I can keep going if you like,” Robert teased, and seeing that you had sex every day since the day you arrived at Los Alamos, you politely declined the offer.

“This body of mine needs a break, Dr. Oppenheimer. Despite that, we should probably get some rest, wouldn’t you agree?” you asked while Robert kissed your neck again, unable to stop teasing you.

“Bed then?” he murmured against your skin gently.

“Yes. Bed, Robert,” you told him while trying to push him off you playfully before sitting up straight suddenly as a bound of nausea overcame your senses.

“Again?” Robert asked, seeing that, during the past week, you were not feeling right. You had been nauseous on occasion and you also had been tired.

“No, I am good. I think,” you told him with the nausea passing quickly as you gulped down some water and the rest of your martini.

“Perhaps rest is what you need after all. Come,” Robert told you before gently pulling you up from the sofa and walking towards the bedroom.

***

Robert laid down next to you in bed, stroking your sweat-dampened hair back from your face. You looked up at him with eyes half-lidded, sleep threatening to take you.

“You are tired a lot lately. Are you all right?” Robert asked, seeing that, in the past two weeks, in addition to nausea, you had needed some extra sleep and even declined two dinner party invitations which, at least for Lilli, was absurd as she was hanging for an invitation herself.

“I am fine, Robert. Don’t worry,” you reassured him while allowing him to caress your body; being one of the most divine feelings in the world.

“I would like you to get seen by our medical staff. You work with plutonium, and I am worried about you,” Robert told you while embracing you in his arms.

“Stop, Robert. I am fine. It is probably just the heat, making me a little tired and nauseous,” you told him reassuringly, cupping his face, before explaining that you adhere to all the safety precautions when handling plutonium.

“If your tiredness and nausea persist for another week though, I will insist on an appointment with Doctor Jeffreys,” Robert lectured you nonetheless, and you nodded.

“Yes, boss,” you teased him before, eventually, giving in to his embrace and closing your eyes.

[multiversal-wanderings]

What proof do you have that shifting is real? Where does it come from? Which cultures practice it? Do you guys even have any backup for your claims. I’m not even coming at you at all i’m genuinely curious and would like to know so i could read.

It’s a fair question.

Shifting is, essentially, experiencing a different reality. This is a metaphysical practice, so it’s unlikely to be proven in the way many people want (ex: some kind of brain scan).

Perhaps a brain scan would show certain signs of increased brain activity if a person were meditating and doing a shifting “method”, but the actual final act of shifting isn’t a physical process at all. You shift via your consciousness.

Most people believe in shifting for a combination of reasons. For me, it’s a mixture of reading about thousands of others first-hand experiences and my own scientific and spiritual beliefs.

There are countless experiences shared online by shifters, even by people who have no idea this community exists. People who don’t know the word “reality shifting” but say they explored “persistent realms” or lived for years within dreams. There are entire shifting podcasts where people share their experiences in heavy detail, and speak so casually, it makes it difficult to believe it’s all a well-constructed lie. My favorite is the GetShifty podcast. Their first episode is “What is reality shifting?” and touches on a lot of the things I mention here.

In physics, the multiverse theory has been around for a long time, and there is some notable evidence for it. You’ve probably heard of the famous double-slit experiment, which showed that light can act as either a wave or a particle, and condenses into one upon observation. This could indicate that parallel realities exist, with each potential outcome existing, and collapsing into one once observed (AKA, someone intentionally shifting to it).

As for religion/cultures, the concept of multiple realities and reaching them via deep meditation seems to be mentioned in the Yoga Vasistha. I’ve actually only recently begun reading it, and am finding it super fascinating, so I may make a separate post about it sometime.

The famous author Neville Goddard also has many books about manifestation and his approach to it. He has mentioned his experience of being in a meditation and experiencing a different reality. He called it “worlds within worlds.”

You don’t even have to be into “new age spirituality” type things to believe in shifting, though. I’m a Muslim and I find my study of Sufism to have MANY things intertwined with the concept of non-dualism, which is arguably central to one of the main shifting theories (the consciousness theory).

I have soo many thoughts on shifting and I have some more things I want to post in the future so if any of this is interesting to you guys, lmk and I can share haha

I hope this was helpful!

[ebonysplendor]

Symptoms of Deceit (Demo) Review 🐙

TL;DR: We've all encountered fake people. You know, those people who pretend to be something or someone they aren't. But what makes Thaumo's situation so different...? Why can't he just be himself? Oh, because he's psycho. Right. Okay, fair point.

Game Link: https://strawberrysquid0.itch.io/symptoms-of-deceit

Notable Features: Two Yandere LIs, Self-Insert, Custom Pronouns, (slight) UI Customization, (minor) Backstory choice, Multiple Endings Spiciness: 2.5/5 -- Gets a little suggestive at one point...but not enough, and you're damn right I'm anticipating that in the future LI Red Flags: 3/5 -- Gaslighting, murder, stalking, nonconsensual stuff (two pretty light instances), your typical yandere stuff, ya know?

Wanna know more? Well, let's get into it!

You know when you've been out of the flow of doing something for so long, and you lowkey forget how to do the thing...? Not gonna lie, kind've going through that right now lmao. Like, when I tell y'all that, when I went off of memory, I could not for the life of me figure out why that little intro before the actual intro part did not flow right, and I totally skipped over the features, spiciness, and red flags. Lmaoooo I need to get back on my shit. Not to mention, I really like doing these and want to get back in the swing of things

ANYWAYS. This isn't about that; this is about this. This game that is. That's what I meant by "this", in case that wasn't clear...my bad...okay, anyways, getting back on track lmao

I honestly don't have much for the intro because, as typical, it's more suited for the review portion, but let me just say...it's pretty damned promising, and I have a temporary spiked interest in mimic octopuses...octopi?....octopuses; it'll make sense later, I swear, but let me just say this.

MIMIC OCTOPI...octopuses?...ARE SO DAMNED COOL? Like, it's quite literally what it sounds like. It mimics the behaviors of other marine animals, and damn do they mimic a lot of those things! They can mimic jellyfish, sea snakes, crabs, flatfish, shrimp, sealions, gah damned seaweed, fucking sea sponges-- like apparently it is a lot, and they are damned cool, man. I love these things. We stan the thaumoctopus mimicus -- lmao just remember that long, scientifically correct word; that was literally intentional, not just a random name drop.

But enough of that, because you know what has my interest more? This game, and I am excited to tell you about it. So, as per the usual, I will tell you as much about the game as possible without ruining the game itself, and trust me, you're gonna wanna play...but this also may be a bit hard to make spoiler friendly. We're gonna thug it out, and make it work, though!

So, enough yappin'. Let's get into it.

So boom.

It's the end of the day, and we're trying to kill the last bit of time that we have left before we go home. If you work yourself, then you know that I'm talking about that weird ass "It's too late to start working on something (nor do I want to) but I still have like a smooth 8 minutes before I clock out". That being said, we do the only logical thing and scroll on social media for a bit. We're in the middle of reading a post/news article, when this pops up:

I'll explain the article somewhat later, but just stick with me for a second and focus on the notif. We look up and--

Well hello, handsome! Ain't no way we're just working with someone this fine. His name is Nalis, by the by, and I'm gonna get back on track now lol.

So, we exchange a little bit of small talk before one of our other co-workers come up and pretty much yanks him away for some more work. Now, the thing about this is, the co-worker was acting pretty out of character. Like, she was just in a pretty ill mood...but then her personality totally flipped when she was talking to us, and Nalis just shoots us this look like "...the hell is going on with her?". But it's like whatever, because Nalis and her are part of the epidemiology team at our work, and we just figured that the stress was just starting to get to her due to the building cases.

Anyways, with our interaction with Nalis cut short, we clock out and head on home. While walking into the building, though, we run into this adorable, blushing mess of a man

Remember that long ass scientifically correct word I gave you? Thaumoctopus mimicus? Everyone, this is Thaumo. Thaumo, this is everyone. See? Told you it'd matter later lol.

Anyways, as expected, we get locked into some small talk, and Thaumo takes the plunge and asks for our number under the guise of "neighbors looking out for each other". ...Yeah, no, naur, that's all right.

We make it quick, shut him down, text the bae friendo, and go in for the night. The next day rolls around, we mess with Nalis for a bit, and...something quite curious happens.

Remember our co-worker that was acting weird yesterday? Well, she comes in, and we check in with her about yesterday, and she just--

Wha--? The fuck you mean, you didn't see him...?

Now, this wouldn't be an issue if she was scatterbrained or something, but she isn't in the slightest. Even when she's tired, she has a damned solid memory and would've definitely remembered something like that, so her simply forgetting is not likely or even probable. Something is very clearly off, but we're not entirely sure of why yet and before we can question it more, she leaves to go to her sector of the building.

Some hours of doing work later, it's around lunch time. We didn't bring our lunch today, so we sit for a moment to figure out what we're gonna do, but Nalis comes around the corner just in time. We make eye contact, but he doesn't really say much, and he looks...different somehow. We brush it off though and ask what he's doing about lunch and if it's cool if we can join him and...

Oof...okay, maybe not.

Despite this though, he fixes his face and tells us it's cool and invites us to go to the vending machine with him. Even still though, he's acting really weird. Like, he's being kind've withdrawn, he's being lowkey insulting, he's spewing all this weird shit about ethics and death, and his whole vibe is just extremely off. It's so bad that we don't even feel comfortable let alone safe with him being around us. I think he lowkey picks up on it though because then he's all "Just pretend that this conversation didn't happen", and it's just, lol what?

But bump it, we bail. We leave him in there, and thankfully, he gave us an exit to do so.

More time goes by, and the phone starts blowing up about some new hire. Well, let me rephrase that. Not a new hire, but someone that's pretty much going to be making sure that we're using the money that their company is giving us to good use and, wouldn't you know it--

That very individual is Thaumo, and he's going to be hanging out with us throughout this whole ordeal. Granted, this isn't entirely bad because the things that Nalis and his team do are extremely confidential, and we're quite literally left out of everything, so it's lowkey nice knowing someone else isn't going to have the full picture about what's going on either. Speaking of Nalis...

The asshole popped up at our desk a few hours later. Of course, we're not as happy to be around him, and he's trying to pry about why. This lowkey pisses us off because he's taking that whole "This conversation didn't happen" shit too literal, and it's like, bro, be fucking for real right now; this shit is not cool. Like, don't gaslight me and act like you weren't acting like a complete donkey during lunch.

"Didn't see us at lunch"? "No time for a full..."? Ayo, what the fuck man? First our coworker, now Nalis? What the fuck is going on with this???

Nalis helps us come to the conclusion that we had likely fell asleep and just had a super vivid dream. We don't fully believe this, but we literally don't have any other form of proof that would suggest otherwise. Either way, we calm down, Nalis reassures us, and we part ways with us going home and him back down to the lab.

That day ends and the next one begins in which Nalis makes a new group chat with Thaumo in it and without the boss, and Nalis is like "Arcade?". We decline, though, and so does Thaumo. We spend our lunch break with Nalis more comfortably this time, and the rest of the day proceeds like normal: uneventful. Well, that is until we're about to head home and receive this text:

Now, for some context, SWSS is Sea Star Wasting Syndrome. Remember that article that I mentioned in the beginning? The one with the body? That's what we were reading about, and it's pretty deadly. As I promised, I'll explain a bit more.

The world that we live in, people (can?) have animal associations, and those associations can be either strong or weak -- most people's are weak. That being said, naturally, the people who are suffering from SWSS have associations with sea stars, which is why Nalis was like "even though you aren't susceptible" because that's not our animal association. This also explains the animal contact photos/pfps, if you were wondering about that at one point, as well.

Anyways, we just think about how much SWSS sucks, and we proceed to clock out and take an alternative route home. Well, that kind've goes left because on this route home we still run into trouble. Admittedly, it was by our own nosiness, but it was trouble nonetheless.

To make a long story short...nah, I'm just fuckin' with ya lol. I ain't gonna tell ya.

To be real with you? I literally can't tell you because it'll be, what I feel, is a major spoiler, and there's no way for me to finesse it and tell you what happened without it completely spoiling it...even though I'm pretty certain you can read between the lines and see what's going on.

Just in case you didn't catch on and want a little more insight, I'll tell you this much: Remember that we live in a world where people have animal associations, meaning certain qualities, appearances, and abilities can be adopted; Thaumo has a strong association with his animal...

Again, I'm pretty sure you can read between the lines, but even still, you think you might know what's going on just off that, but you honestly have no clue, because also remember...

There's two yanderes this time, and I didn't even tell you Nalis' animal association.

I'm telling you -- it's not as clear of a picture as you may be thinking.

Okay, so admitedly, this review is LONG over due, because I played this months ago and just never finished the review for it, but I am so excited for this game to be completed!

The story itself is so interesting, and the fact that-- ah, I can't tell you but damn it, just, if you could still figure it out without me saying it or you could read between the lines, I'm just really geeked about this, and I want to see how everything pans out.

Like, I know that the content warning included gaslighting, but I didn't know that it meant like IRL! Like, I was -- oh my fu -- I can't really tell you that either! This is actually frustrating, not gonna lie lol.

Like I've mentioned, I am fairly confident that you can tell what's going on based on what I gave you despite me not explicitly saying it and doing my damndest to tip toe around it...but just know that that whole "gaslighting" content warning is applying IRL for me right now. Like, I have so many questions, and I demand that this game be finished so that I can get them answered!

The other wild part about this game, though, is that, if you actually go back and read it after getting some more information, there's actually allusions as to what's going on in certain scenarios! It literally made me go "Ohhhh now that part makes more sense! ... Yo, that's crazy". Like, it's honestly pretty well done as far being just discreetly enough to have you kind've gloss over it, but you can definitely pick up on it if you pay attention to it, especially if you go to replay it for the other endings.

Now, let's talk about the pacing. Pretty solid and well done, in my opinion! There were definitely some parts that were definitely more "storytelling based", but it didn't drag on for long, and the storytelling bits made sense and were necessary. Admittedly, it had somewhat rushed transitions to certain parts, but I still thought it flowed pretty damned well in all honesty. Then again, that's what happens when you have an interesting storyline, and people are more interested in the story itself versus the "You wake up the next day, and head to work after getting ready" transition.

Then again, I honestly prefer it to be that versus "You wake up. You go to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You look at your teeth. Ick. You get over the ick. You walk out. You go to the kitchen. You open the fridge. You reach it. You grab the mi--" Like oh my Gods, bro, I get it. Please get on with it. It's like, I get it because it's necessary, but like get to the point. That just kills the momentum to me, or if there wasn't any momentum to start with, it just makes the story/transition drag for longer than it needs to. Speaking of making things longer than needed and getting on with it...

If it's not obvious at this point, I definitely recommend this game. I recommend it so much that I will be providing you the link right here, right now, multiple times in a row. So just...ya know...click on any of those and download it to your computer, brah. All jokes and silliness aside, you'd be seriously missing out if you don't, because the story is there, and I find it super interesting. Also! If you'd like to, give the dev that ever encouraging and desperate "DROP ANOTHER UPDATE, AND MY LIFE IS YOURS~! Also, really love your game! You're doing really well! BUT PLEASE LET ME BANG NALIS AND THAUMO!". Also, also! I didn't see anything that indicated that they were open to monetary support, but if you find it, I'm sure they'd really appreciate the donation.

That all being said, that is finally all from me, and I will let you go about your day now! Big preesh for getting this far. Huge reminder! Please drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Symptoms of Deceit

[the-irken-pony]

THSC Meta Voice Potential Backstory + Additional headcanons

Because my first post about them was long enough and also because there's a lot more headcanon than actual lore meat this time around.

Edit:

[ID: The "So that was a fucking lie" meme. End ID.]

I do go a bit in-depth with explaining some of them at the end, but I'm starting with the headcanons themselves. I want to focus on the headcanons rather than having the long explanations dominate the entire post. It's a bit of a different format than I usually do, but it's one I want to try out. (That and not all of them have explanations beyond "vibes" so I'm giving myself some leeway there.)

Starting with the "shock twist" headcanon: I do genuinely believe them to have once been a stick figure who lived in the THSCverse like Henry, Charles, Dave, etc., rather than having always been a disembodied string of text.

They were most likely a superpowered stick figure like Henry, but they probably had weaker, downgraded versions of their current timeline-stopping abilities (the FAILs).

Their other abilities (eg conjuration) arose as a result of their integration into the fabric of their reality, rather than being part of their default abilities.

They used to be a gadgeteer, and still engage with gadgetry off to the side.

Said gadgetry profession may be directly related to their disappearance, or their merging with their reality. No solid headcanon on what caused whatever happened to them but I do have a potential idea.

They had a criminal history before Henry, and have a kleptomania problem of their own.

They don't age, at least not anymore. They stopped after they integrated into the game.

Their attachment to Henry is in part because Henry is the only one who can actually see them anymore.

Road rage

As for explanations behind them, I’m breaking it into sections since it’s. long.

Gadgetry

First off, I wanna discuss their affinity for gadgetry (smth that @/stickthinks brought up in their THSC live blog that I've been fixated on ever since).

While the meta voice knows more about the various people and locales seen throughout the game than any one person in the universe feasibly could, their knowledge isn't limitless. Many of their comments seem to be guesswork rather than actual knowledge. Furthermore, for how much they seem to know, their attitude toward people in general is rather... blasé, and doesn't seem to be too partial to who Henry aligns himself with.

What they DO show a vested interest in is the various gadgets that Henry uses. The first example is actually the first two instances of the Teleporter in the remastered Breaking the Bank and in Escaping the Prison. In Breaking the Bank, they state that the teleporter uses new technology and is optimistic about its potential, and assume the fail in EtP is Henry not knowing how to use it.

[ID: Fail screen for Breaking the Bank’s teleporter option which reads “it’s emergent technology. I’m sure it will get better!”]

Their first hint of actually knowing how stuff works comes from the Opacitator, in which they mention a Beta Testing phase; both words are specifically capitalized, implying that this is a formally named stage of development (I mean I would hope so).

[ID: fail screen for the opacitator fail which reads: “you’d think something like that would come up in the beta testing.” The words beta testing are capitalized. End id.]

Where it's really revealed to have in depth knowledge is in the Wormhole Rifle fail, where we get its iconic info dump moment, where it gives a detailed run-down of the mechanics and makeup of the gun.

ID: the fail screen for the wormhole rifle, which is a wall of text in a small font. It reads:

“I'm surprised you weren't able to get down there with that amazing portal technology. It's pretty strange how those portal guns work. I mean it combines the top scientific processes of our time. the portal gun contains a flux quantum generator which propels energy blasts with energy volumes of 4.23 GW with an average speed of 25 m/s. this speed is most effective because it allows the energy to be conserved while still maintaining a speed that is appropriate. The external plastic coating on the portal gun is constructed of a high polymer fireproof carbon fiber. this prevents the intense energy of the portal gun from burning the hands of the user. The intense energy causes intense heat. Oh by the way if you want a medal/achievement click here. I've heard that scientists still do not know what happens if two portals are placed on top of one another. The last time that was attempted... Well I'm sure you heard about it on the news.” End ID.]

What's interesting is that it mentions that there actually WAS an attempt to place two portals on top of each other, but doesn't go into detail about what. This could either imply that they simply consider it common knowledge not worth repeating, or it could imply that the subject is uncomfortable enough that they'd rather avoid it. The latter option could be an indication that they were actually present for the attempt.

Going further, they may have even directly worked on the Jetboots. The fail message is specifically a production note.

ID: fail screen for the jetboots option, which reads “jetboots production notes: find lighter material to construct boots out of.” End ID.]

Their Original Form, And Why They Changed

The reason I wanted to go over that one first is because it ties into some other stuff. For instance, it proves that they’re more tied to the THSCverse than to our world. Especially given that, in the wormhole rifle info dump, they specifically say “it combines the top scientific processes of our time,” when the concept of a portal gun is still completely fictional in our world.

Additionally, they question our apparent inability to distinguish visually near-identical stick figures (indirectly acknowledging the player as not a stick figure by proxy).

[ID: fail screen for the Toppy option which reads “they could tell you don’t look like Henry. What, you think all stick figures look the same??” End id.]

Thus, it’s reasonable to conclude that the meta is not only originally part of the THSCverse, but also that it is, itself, a stick figure (unless it became something else after their “ascension”.

As for other arguments proving their mortality, or pseudo mortality, they allude to three very notably organic behaviors:

1) they take a bathroom break during the calculator fail in std, suggesting a need, or at least the capacity, to eat food and drink fluids.

[id: fail screen for the calculator option, which reads “sorry, I was in the bathroom. What’d I mi— Where’d… Where is everyone?” End id.]

2) they mention having a nightmare similar to the g-inverter effects, proving that they used to sleep, if they don’t continue to do so.

[id: fail screen for the g-inverter option which reads “pretty sure I had a nightmare like this.” End id.]

3) they complain about their ears hurting from the Sonic pulse fail—direct proof that they can feel pain, even if they can’t die from injury.

[id: fail screen for the sonic pulse option, which reads “That hurt my ears! >:C” The “>:C” is a drawn, angry frown that is right side up. End id.]

As for what happened to turn them into what they are now, I don’t have any solid ideas, just a possible suggestion. It ends off its info dump by mentioning an experimental attempt at putting two portals on top of each other, but trails off and dismisses itself with an assumption that Henry “heard about it on the news.” This could be its usual nonchalance, or it could be the exact opposite: discomfort. It's possible that they were there for the attempt, and the incident was traumatic in some way (either through the process of changing into what we know them as now, or the change itself).

Adjusting to New Powers

Even with the notion that they weren't always in this form, it's worth noting that they seem fairly competent with actually triggering a fail. We don't get any fails triggered on accident (the fake fail in EtP is deliberate as they directly reference the fact that you won't be able to read it all at once), nor do we get particularly awkward cutoffs (the closest being the Shovel fail, which is only there to give you enough time to stop the car). However, the specific style of the fail screens changes with each game, implying some amount of experimentation. This is amplified in the Breaking the Bank remake, in which the fail screen sound effect changes for each fail, which could suggest unfamiliarity on their part.

Furthermore, their ability to interact with the world and the game itself is slim to nothing until Fleeing the Complex, in which they access a command line. They also learn to interact directly with the player via pop ups. They do get a little carried away, though.

[id: the fail screen for the slingshot option. The text has been replaced with a blue pop-up window reading “whoa! How did this happen?” The button is labeled “shrug”. The pop up window is split in half, with its left half on the right edge of the screen and its right half on the left edge of the screen, as though wrapping around to the other side. End ID.]

Their abilities get more advanced in Completing the Mission, in which they access a transform menu, have a voice clip, speak in text outside of a fail screen, and even summon objects into the world.

[ID: Henry Stickmin trapped within a holding cell on the Toppat clan orbital station, holding a Bobby pin. Henry stares at an out-of-place lock on the metal cell door. Narration text reads “> Fine!? You want a lock? >THERE! There’s your lock!” End ID.]

Criminal History + Kleptomania

The fail screen in Midnight Surprise alludes to some past that we don’t actually see. The closest we get are the Explosives fail in BtB and C4 fail in ItA.

[id: fail screen for the midnight surprise fail. First line reads “ah, just like old times.” Second line, in smaller text, reads “that was a poorly thought out plan…” end id.]

In general, they’re nonchalant about Henry’s crimes and sometimes try to give pointers to help out. Its comment on Henry’s failed bribery attempt even suggests they’ve committed briberies before, and multiple times.

[ID: the fail screen for the bribe option. Text reads “Strange… That usually works.” End ID.]

As for their kleptomania, the multiple collectible-based achievements in the series aren’t just collectibles found in isolation of one another, they’re usually things that belong to someone else (Assemble the Crew may be an exception depending on interpretation, but a crewmate is seen in the Toppats’ vault so it could count as stealing). Additionally, they don’t serve any benefit beyond ticking up the achievement progression.

It’s worth noting that this is all done through the player’s hand and is entirely optional, but given that various fails give achievements, including via interactions with the fail screen text itself, we can most likely assume that the meta voice is at least partially responsible for divvying out achievements. Weak evidence? Perhaps, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

There’s also the pickpocket fail in which they cheer on Henry’s decision to take all of Isaac Binderson’s “loot”—immediately after questioning whether he really needed to.

[ID: fail screen for the pickpocket option. First line reads “did you really need all that?” Second line, which is written with much smaller text, reads “No loot left behind!” End id.]

Road rage

Half joke

[ID: The fail screen for the Hijack option, which reads: “AND you forgot to signal. Sheesh!” End ID.]

But also not

[id: fail screen for the shoot option, which reads “eyes on the road man!” End ID.]

[uptoolateart]

'Perfect' White

We can't have failed to notice that in S5 Gabriel has gone all white...like Cat Blanc. So my wheels got spinning and here I am, exploring the symbolism of this 'colour'.

Many viewers will link white to ideas of innocence, cleanliness or peace. Maybe even holiness - think angels. We've even seen Adrien wearing angel wings, in 'Simpleman'.

I once read an excellent analysis, I forget by whom, suggesting that Adrien is often in white to show that he's a blank slate, waiting to be written on. We even get the word 'blank' from the Latin root of the French 'blanc', meaning white. Taking this further, we could see it as Adrien not yet being certain of his own identity.

White is also linked with virginity - think of the Western European wedding dress colour. Applying this symbolically, Adrien begins the story inexperienced and naive, kept ignorant of the ways of the world. He also takes things at face value. But this is definitely changing.

I see irony, as well, because the angelic public image of Adrien hides his 'darker' thoughts and impulses. White is often linked to simplicity, and Adrien is perhaps most fascinating for being so much more complicated than anyone in his life believes.

We could also see virginity as not being 'used' yet, and this is ironic too because Adrien is used left and right, by both his father and by Ladybug.

And of course white is honesty. Nothing has been hidden. Adrien is typically the most honest one on the show and the most open with his feelings. An interesting fact I didn't know before some quick research today is that in ancient Rome, public officials wore white, and their robes were called 'candidus', which gives us the word 'candidate' but also 'candid' meaning honest and frank (because politicians never lie...???). We'll come back to this later.

White also indicates being innocent of sins or crimes. It tells us Adrien is a victim.

So why is Gabriel all in white?

Let's start with the obvious. Scientifically, white is both the source and absence of all colour.

On the one hand, we could see Gabriel in white as him trying to swallow up everything else - think of how colourful the kwamis are, and the way Gabriel tries to consume his son.

Or we could see it as his coldness. Think of the Hans Christian Andersen's Snow Queen, adapted as Elsa in 'Frozen' - or 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'. White is ice. We also saw this with Cat Blanc - we all talk about his 'ice-blue eyes' in fan fics.

But Gabriel's white could also be the antithesis of Cat Noir - white versus black. Gabriel is trapped in s state of mind that Adrien is gradually leaving behind.

Another thing I didn't know is that author Robert Graves tied white with the moon goddess, who in mythology is usually said to have three faces, standing for the stages of life - childhood (waxing), motherhood (the full moon), and old age (waning). I think Gabriel's powers are beginning to wane. And although it's a stretch to say the writers of Miraculous had Graves in mind, there is so much moon symbolism tied into the show that I thought this was interesting to think on nonetheless.

Getting heavier, let's travel around the world to places like China, where white is the colour of mourning and worn at funerals. This makes white the colour of sadness, which ties up with Cat Blanc's months of grief and loneliness - but also Gabriel, who literally lives in a mausoleum for his wife and refuses to let go. Suddenly dressing all in white tells us he's gone all in. This is endgame. He's totally embodying his grief. And with white being tied to the end of life, it's a sign that the end of this particular story is nigh.

Now let's remember the old saying that 'Death rides a pale horse'. This comes from the depiction of the Apocalypse found in The Book of Revelation, at the end of the Bible. In fact, in Celtic tradition, if you see a pure white animal (especially if it has red ears), it's supernatural and not to be trusted. White is otherworldly and unnatural - about as unnatural as Gabriel making banana pancakes, amiright?

Gabriel is also straddling life and death. He's been cataclysmed and is now rotting away before our eyes. He's on that pale horse and has nothing left to lose.

There’s also a suggestion of the unknown - going back to that idea of being a blank slate, Gabriel is a wild card here. When someone like that gets truly desperate, we can no longer predict what he will do. Forcing a cataclysm on himself was definitely the start of this.

Coming back to the notion of honesty - we could apply this ironically to Gabriel, who, in his new white suit, recently shook hands with Nino, as if they were partners working against a common enemy.

On that note, let's look again at the Latin 'candidus'. This was considered the brightest shade of white, and it gives us the word 'candle'. So, white can be illuminating. We can see this as Adrien heading towards understanding, revelation. Gabriel is posing in the colour of honesty and innocence, but Adrien is soon to see through the pancakes.

On the other hand, Gabriel is slipping into a state of ignorance. He has never gained anything from all this power because he no longer understands love. He claims to do all this for Emilie, but it's gone far, far beyond that goal. He has reached the point of seeking power for power's sake.

He could learn a few lessons from Adrien, who reprised his Cat Blanc costume in 'Jubilation', this time worn as a wedding suit. It stands out because in European-style weddings the bride wears white but not the groom. The dream was a vision of grief and heartache being transmutated into something pure and beautiful - and of new starts. The slate had been wiped clean, ready for a new story to be written.

This leads me to think of the levels of karate. A lot of people don't realise that after the black belt, there's a higher level - the white belt. It's a sign of humility. Returning to the beginning shows an understanding that we never truly master anything. We're always learning. So Adrien moving from white (Alliance and other ads) to black (Cat Noir) to white again (the wedding vision) tells us he's completed one journey and is now applying the lessons he's learned to his next journey in life.

Of course, it was only a dream because he's not there yet. He needs to learn and deal with the truth about his father first. But all of this is coming.

Because white is the light at the end of the tunnel. As much as my son likes to say the Netflix show tags should now be 'grief', 'child abuse' and 'trauma', I truly see hope in every scene. White wipes the slate clean. Our favourite couple are so close to not a happy ending but a happy new beginning.

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Season 2 Chapter 59 Translation [Lucien’s Route (1/3)]

⚠️  SPOILER ALERT  ⚠️

This post contains a VERY HEAVY SPOILER for the chapter that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

I turn around and see Lucien standing behind me, the fine mist enveloping his expression in a haze.

"Would my little lady lie to me?"

A brief silence flows through the air as the pool continues to steam, making every breath sound incredibly distinct.

For a moment, I almost think that Lucien had already discovered my identity before the first night even began.

Translation under the cut!

[Previous Chapter-> Click Here]

—[Prologue]—

Before the summer heat sweeps across Loveland City, the Loveland City Digital Technology Summit, jointly organized by the City Hall and Infinite, officially opens.

This summit is the first online summit held in virtual reality in the history of Loveland City.

The stage is at the center, with audience seats arranged in a circular formation around it. Floating holographic screens are positioned between the stage and the audience.

I look around, and the thousand-seat venue is fully occupied. On the stage, Aether is speaking calmly about the prospects of digital technology and virtual reality applications.

[T/N: just to fill in y’all, Aether is representative of Infinite, the company that develops Odyssey]

Aether: Infinite's scientific and technological capabilities will lead society to new heights in medical care, education, culture, and other fields.

Aether: "Odyssey" is one of our greatest challenges in presenting virtual reality.

Aether: In the future, it might not be the pinnacle of the field, but it will undoubtedly be an important starting point. We are also challenging different technological updates…

As he speaks, some scenes and objects from the Odyssey occasionally appear in the audience.

The life-like presentation catches the eyes of many, and the low murmurs of other attending entrepreneurs can be heard.

??: Indeed, it's pretty impressive. No technology company currently on the market can match this level of technical capability and R&D.

??: It's just that we don't know the development costs…

Taking in these bits and pieces, I poke the chibi black swan "flying around" beside me.

The black swan spins around and pops out a line chart, showing the trend of Infinite's tech product coverage in Loveland City over recent years.

The black line representing Infinite shoots straight up into the sky, leaving a vast and unattainable gap between it and other technology companies.

Looking at such a straightforward image, my thoughts drift far away along with my memories…

From the launch of the Golden Apple 2 capsule pod to the official release of Odyssey, Infinite's technological development has left others far behind.

Even now, other companies are hiring "protection shields" in a desperate attempt to catch up.

I know their ambition has never been just a globally popular game but rather broader and more significant fields.

After the representatives from the relevant fields finish speaking, the host announces on the spot-

Long story short, an announcement is made of a beta test for the new "Carnival Night" gameplay of "Odyssey”, “Carnival Night” is based on the popular board game Werewolf (commonly known in the West as “Mafia”). Participants are transported to a virtual ballroom, and as MC navigates the crowd, she gets a message from Kiro, that has entered the game and encounters some familiar faces, like Gavin and Victor. Each male lead participates in the beta test and chooses a different scenario.

I put away this brochure and picked up several others, planning to study them all. The staff at the service desk smiles and hands me a form.

Staff: Hello, we are conducting an interest survey within the game. Could you please sign under the scenario you're interested in on the registration form?

MC: Sure.

I sign under several scenarios, and when I get to the last one, “Seaside Mansion",  I see a familiar signature — Lucien.

He messaged me the day before yesterday, saying that Infinite sent beta test invitations to the top three players on the in-game achievement leaderboard.

[Yes, Lucien is one of the top players; the chapter before this reveals that due to his deteriorating condition, he spends more time in the Odyssey to free himself from the pain:". The R&S that accompany the chapter shows how he spends his time in the game besides experimenting, which is observing the game, and from this observation, he finds many hidden mechanisms and achieves many hidden achievements along the way. A game world is full of puzzles after all and he's the greatest puzzle solver~]

I look around the crowd but don't see him.

MC: Has he already entered the game?

Thinking this, I also plan to study the brochures I just picked up.

Which one should I look at?

-Choose “Seaside Mansion”

Surrounded by the blue ocean, a seaside mansion with a luxurious design rises from the island.

A group of people from around the world are invited by the mansion's owner to the island, unaware that danger is silently approaching in the shadows…

Players will take on the role of guests arriving at the "Seaside Mansion," tasked with finding the werewolves responsible for the killings on this secluded island.

This scenario is designed for 13 players, with the following roles: Hunter, Guardian, Seer, Gravekeeper, and Hidden Werewolf, each one player; two Outsiders; three Werewolves; and three Mansiongers.

After reading the scenario introduction, I turned to the standard game rules at the end of the brochure:

This time, eight game scenarios are available, and players can select the one they are interested in by clicking to enter.

In all scenarios, everyone must return to their rooms and close the doors by 23:30. The werewolves and unique roles must go out within the system-specified times.

The action times are as follows:

- 23:30-23:59 - Guardian

- 0:00-0:29 - Werewolves

- 0:30-0:59 - Seer

- 1:00-1:29 - Witch

- 1:30-1:59 - Hunter

The werewolves win if the number of good players (human and unique roles) reaches zero. In contrast, the human and unique roles win if the number of werewolves (including the hidden werewolf) reaches zero.

Additionally, each scenario will have designated areas equipped with live-streaming cameras. A prompt will appear on the user panel when entering a live-streaming area, so please be aware.

MC: The introduction is relatively straightforward...

Closing the brochure, I opened the selection interface. Looking at the various scenarios before me, I felt a bit overwhelmed…

[T/N: Before we jump to the next part, here is a quick explanation about the roles!

- Villagers: Their goal is to identify and eliminate the werewolf.

-Werewolves: Their goal is to deceive the villagers and eliminate them.

-Witch: Has two potions, one to save a player from being killed and one to kill another player.

-Hunter: Once they die, they can kill the one player by their choice (usually kills who they believe to be their killer).

-Gravekeeper: can check the roles of the player that has already been killed.

-Seer: each night, the Seer can choose one player to identify their role.

-Guardian: each night, the Guardian can choose one player to protect from being killed.

-Hidden Werewolf: Werewolf that appears as a normal villager when investigated by the Seer or other investigative roles]

✂———————–

—[Lucien's Route - 1: Raging Sea Storm]—

Without hesitation, I pressed the confirm button for "Seaside Mansion."

White light envelops my vision, and when I open my eyes again, the sunlight pierces through the thin mist, falling on the gray-black low cliff beneath my feet.

The deep blue sea water tirelessly crashes against the steep cliffs as if trying to engulf the entire island.

MC: So high…!

I shiver in fear at the cliff beneath my feet and take a few steps back. Turning around, a modern mansion fills my entire view.

The seaside mansion boasts a luxurious design, rising with opulent grandeur and resembling the safest fortress perched on the cliff.

I rush towards the door. As soon as I arrive, the door opens for me, and a butler dressed in a pitch-black suit steps out from behind the door to greet me.

Butler: Welcome home, madam*.

[T/N: fun fact: the Butler calls her with the same title (夫人, read: fu ren) as the one in Lucien's latest Halloween Date 🤧; this title used to refer to a married woman. Interesting that both this chapter and that date have similar kind of ending-]

MC: Ah…?

Although I know the "Carnival Night" mode assigns roles to players, I am still a bit confused when such an address suddenly comes up.

Butler: Madam, you are the owner of this mansion.

The butler hands me a letter as he speaks. I break the wax seal on the letter, and the crimson handwriting catches my eye — “Werewolf”.

MC: …!

Butler: Once all the guests have arrived, you need to conceal your identity as the host and choose one guest each night to be thrown into the pool—

Butler: End their life and offer it to the sea.

I didn't expect to be the werewolf... My initially steady heartbeat skips a beat, and I take two deep breaths to calm myself.

It seems that no other guests have arrived at the mansion yet. With such a "villainous" role, it's better not to be the "first to arrive" and draw attention…

So, I paused my step into the mansion, quickly ran back outside, and planned to hide behind the wall to observe secretly first.

I wait until most players have entered before I pretend to be entering the game myself, lifting my skirt as I step through the door.

Suddenly, my gaze meets a pair of familiar eyes.

Lucien walks through the crowd in white clothes. The sea breeze tousles the strands of hair on his forehead. His silent eyes spot me through the crowd and curve into a smile.

The raging sound of the waves in my ears seems to have instantly dissipated by that silence, and my rapid heartbeat from a few minutes ago gradually stabilizes.

I take a few quick steps to his side, and Lucien naturally takes my hand.

MC: Mr. X, are you good at playing this kind of game?

Lucien: [chuckle] I can only say I'm average; perhaps I might need your help, Miss MC.

If it really is "help," then that would be nice…

Perhaps it's the werewolf identity at work; the game hasn't officially started, but I've already begun scheming in my mind.

I wonder what Lucien's identity will be... Will he be a werewolf like me?

I absentmindedly ponder this while casually chatting with Lucien, and we enter the mansion together.

The butler leads us to the banquet hall, surrounded by a circle of exquisitely designed luxurious pools.

The clear pool water shows a faint aquamarine hue, reflecting off the gilded walls and casting a cold-colored light on us.

A long table divides the banquet hall in half, with a name tag displaying an ID in front of each seat.

Lucien and I sit down according to the name tags. I quietly count the name tags on the long table; there are thirteen in total.

Suddenly, three clear, rhythmic sounds emerge on the bustling long table, interrupting our cautious scrutiny of each other.

Lucien lowers his hand after lightly tapping the dinner bell and stands up from the long table. The light, fragmented into countless tiny ripples by the water's surface, penetrates his deep eyes.

Lucien: As a member of the human faction with a divine duty, I think it’s not too presumptuous for me to start the game abruptly. So…

Lucien's face unfolds into a calm, confident smile, and his unhurried voice clearly resonates throughout the banquet hall.

Lucien: I am the hunter in this game.

MC: ?!

The originally somewhat dull atmosphere in the banquet hall instantly simmers like boiling water.

Everyone seems somewhat surprised by Lucien's decision to reveal his identity at this moment, while I have no interest in participating in the discussion.

It's over. It seems I will have to spend the following nights alone and be forced to keep my distance from Lucien during the day so he doesn't see through my identity…

Although "engaging in a battle of wits and valor" with him is quite interesting, I still prefer being together with him.

I am immersed in my "thoughts" when someone nearby suddenly lets out a disdainful snort.

Player: Huh? Do you even know how to play?

I look up and see a young man with the name tag "Brother Genius" on the table, who is the first to speak against Lucien.

Brother Genius: Revealing your role on the first day? The werewolves will “kill” you tonight, and at most, you can only take one person down with your shot.

He tilts his chin up and shakes his head.

Brother Genius: The human faction is really out of luck, starting without a hunter. Learn from me; only someone with my role can reveal their identity openly.

He gestures with his chin towards the farthest corner.

Brother Genius: Look at us, the two outsiders.

Brother Genius: We arrived at this Mansion only after the werewolves appeared, so we can't be werewolves. We don't have any skills, but we are definitely good people. Do you understand?

The person in the corner, whose identity was suddenly exposed, stands up coldly and abruptly, causing the chair to slide backward with his movement.

The ear-piercing scraping sound makes everyone's scalp tingle, and almost everyone frowns in unison.

??: Idiot.

He had been sitting silently in the corner, and I hadn't noticed him before. Now that I look closer, I see his dark green hair and hollow dark gray eyes...

MC: ...Joker?!

✂———————–

[Some fun fact: Lucien's route is the only one where MC and the ML belong to opposite factions (they're truly Lovepro’s star-crossed lovers ahah🥹); other ML's (and MC) roles in their respective split routes are:

BQ/Gavin: Werewolf MC, "Hidden Werewolf" BQ

LZY/Victor: Guardian MC, "Witch" LZY

XM/Lucien: Werewolf MC, Hunter XM

ZQL/Kiro: Seer MC, Gravekeeper ZQL]

[Also, if it's not predictable already, Lucien already knows that MC is Werewolf; man can read her like an open book after all 😂 I think this is what leads to his decision to reveal his role as Hunter so early because doing so, he can gain others’ trust and have more ‘’control and power” for the sake of protecting her. There's also (spoiler) reason, but you all will know about it eventually~]

✂———————–

—[Lucien's Route - 2: Humid Airflow]—

Past experiences flood my mind, making my scalp tingle instinctively. How did this terribly nefarious person also end up in this game!

He hasn't appeared for so long, and his mind is always full of the lighthouse. How does he even have the time to "waste" here?

If I remember correctly, he's still wanted. How does he come out without changing his appearance?

As if in response to my question, the ID "Joker" above his head flickers glaringly a few times.

I instinctively glance at Lucien. He only casts a fleeting look in Joker's direction before shifting his gaze away.

Hearing what Joker said, Brother Genius seems a bit incredulous.

Brother Genius: ...What did you say?

Joker ignores him, shifts his gaze to Lucien, and speaks in a cold tone.

Joker: Fortunately, this game is at least worth participating in.

After saying that, he turns around and leaves the banquet hall without looking back despite everyone's gazes.

Lucien does not respond to his words at all, simply watching everything unfold calmly.

I quietly watch Joker's back, mentally drawing a big X over it.

Arrogant bastard, I will kill you tonight!

After the scene quiets down, Lucien speaks gently.

Lucien: Since three players have already revealed their identities, I suggest we start the election for the sheriff early.

Lucien: The sheriff has 1.5 votes, and they can also guide and organize thoughts…

At the long table, Lucien explains the necessity of the sheriff in a clear and understandable manner to those who are still confused.

And for those who raised objections to the sheriff system, he accommodates their opinions and adopts a compromise approach.

The more I listen, the more I feel that this Mr. Hunter beside me is like a "kind-hearted God” who calmly accepts and gently gives.

And the weaker players on the field seem to share my sentiment, their faces showing apparent trust.

Ultimately, Lucien is elected sheriff without any suspense due to his revealed hunter identity and charismatic personality. I can't help but sigh.

MC: It'll be difficult for the werewolves…

Lucien: What are you talking about?

I shudder all over, realizing that Lucien has finished the discussion and is now looking at me gently.

I give him a guilty smile, but a dangerous thought arises within me.

If Lucien is willing to "favor" me just a little... Maybe him being the sheriff could actually be a good thing?

With this in mind, I discreetly wink at Lucien.

MC: I was thinking, this mansion looks so big, I have a feeling I might get lost if I'm not careful.

MC: [smiles] Would the newly elected Sheriff X accompany me for a walk?

The clear water surface reflects a faint glow as if whispering unknown secrets.

I did not expect such pools to occupy this mansion's corridor and every room.

No matter where we go, the sound of flowing water never ceases.

The heavy and silent humid air wraps around us from head to toe, causing a wave of discomfort to surge within my heart.

MC: I thought a seaside mansion would be a beautiful, fresh-air vacation spot.

MC: Lucien, don't you feel like we've been swallowed by a giant monster, all sticky and slimy…?

Lucien is observing at the direction of the pool not far away. Hearing my words, an inscrutable smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

Lucien: Based on the current findings, it is likely that these pools are connected underground, forming some sort of waterway...

Lucien: If these waterways are like circulating blood vessels, then the pools are the organs that transport the blood. In that sense, we do seem to be inside some kind of giant monster...

The hairs on my body instantly stand on end, and I turn and throw myself into Lucien's arms. He catches me as if he had planned it, then gently pats my back.

MC: ...I was already scared enough, and now you're scaring me even more!

Lucien: [coaxing by whispering softly] I just wanted to agree with this imaginative girl's metaphor. Is that not allowed?

Seeing his cunning, squinting eyes, I can't help but let out a huffy little hum.

MC: Let's not talk about this anymore and change the subject!

MC: For example... weren't you worried about being targeted by the werewolves on the first day when you revealed your identity today?

I glance around and ask the premeditated question, only to see Lucien's eyelashes flutter slightly as he responds in an innocent tone.

Lucien: Huh... was I supposed to keep my identity hidden?

MC: Hmph, Professor Lucien, don't play innocent. I know you're a master at these kinds of games.

Lucien: I just don't want to lie in front of you.

He speaks frankly, with no intention of hiding anything. Being gazed at like this makes my heart skip a beat, and I almost want to confide my own secrets to him.

I quickly suppress the impulse, turn away to escape from his gentle allure, and hold his hand to lead him forward.

MC: Alright, alright, it seems you already have your own strategy. You're so intelligent. You definitely don't need a fool like me to worry needlessly.

I speak in a listless tone, with a little wistful expression, when I suddenly hear Lucien's voice.

Lucien: And what about you?

MC: What?

I turn around and see Lucien standing behind me, the fine mist enveloping his expression in a haze.

Lucien: [softly] Would my little lady lie to me?

A brief silence flows through the air as the pool continues to steam, making every breath sound incredibly distinct.

For a moment, I almost think that Lucien had already discovered my identity before the first night even began.

...No, I can't lose my composure first! I secretly pinch my palm, look straight into his eyes, and smile.

MC: Professor Lucien is so smart; how could my little tricks ever fool you?

MC: Why not take a guess?

After all, more than winning, I want to enjoy this game with you in a "special way".

✂———————–

[Dang, the way he said, “would my little lady lie to me?” 🤧🤧🤧, you can almost hear his insecurity and sense of feeling wronged(?). 😂 This is one of many instances in this chapter that show, under his calm and composed demeanor and how he acts as if everything is under control, he isn't as in ease as he appears to be🤧 there's still a possibility and choice that the MC might want to win and abandon him to achieve that, and her not answering his question definitely doesn't put his heart at ease. He will respect her choice, whatever it may be, yet selfishly, he wants her to choose to trust him and 'be with him' instead of winning]

✂———————–

—[Lucien's Route - 3: Sneaks through the night]—

As night falls, I quietly leave the door and see a bald man and a slim young man standing in the corridor from afar.

MC: You must be my teammates, the Ferocious and Superior Baldhead* and... Super Mousy*, right?

[T/N: not sure if it's deliberate, but the name… I'm going to scream lmao. The bald man's complete ID is 邪魅狂狷的光头. While "光头" (guang tao) literally means "bald head," it's also a term that lovepro players use to refer to the neighboring game 光与夜之恋 (guang yu ye zhi lian), also known as Light and Night. The slim man's ID is 超人鼠鼠; in Chinese slang, "鼠" (shǔ) is often used to describe someone timid, cowardly, or passive. It's like a person behaving like a mouse, often in the context of being overly cautious or submissive. Anyway, after this, I'll refer to the mouse guy as Mousy and the bald guy as Baldhead]

The bald guy responded with a grunt through his nose, and the slim guy timidly greeted me.

I remember these two; the bald guy is indeed "ferocious and acts superior" as his ID suggests, while the slim guy seems socially anxious and introverted, barely speaking during the day.

Baldhead: Stop wasting time discussing. Let's find someone who talks a lot and kill them first!

The bald guy speaks up domineeringly, leaving no room for doubt, while the young man timidly opens his lips but says nothing.

I can't help but sigh inwardly; how are we supposed to defeat Lucien and Joker with teammates like this….

However, they don't seem good at logical games, so maybe I can try to induce them.

Not giving them time to think and possibly connect the dots to Lucien, I quickly nod, showing a look of agreement.

MC: I agree. And I already have someone in mind.

Both of them look at me, and I try my best to put an air of authority.

MC: I suggest taking out Joker first. I've played other games with him before... and he's a very tricky player.

MC: You can also sense his attitude today, right? He's very dangerous. Eliminating the smart ones first will increase our chances of winning.

I deliberately mention Joker's attitude during the luncheon; sure enough, both the bald guy and the slim young man frown.

Baldhead: It'll be him then! D*mn it, daring to act arrogant in front of me, he won't live through the night!

I can't help but feel a secret delight inside. Joker, oh Joker, you never thought there would be a day when you'd be "at someone else's mercy," did you?

We hit it off and head towards Joker's bedroom together.

The lights in the mansion are dim at night, making the pool seem even more unfathomable. I nervously swallow hard.

At this moment, Baldhead, who was walking in front of me, suddenly stopped. Mousy and I almost bumped into him but managed to steady ourselves.

Before I can ask, I see from beside him that a bedroom door, which should have been tightly closed, is wide open about three meters away, with someone standing in the doorway.

At this time, only werewolves are supposed to be out and about. How can there be someone else outside?! My heart jumps to my throat as I hear that person speak.

Brother Genius: Oh, finally, you're here. I've been waiting for you wolves for quite a while.

...it's the Brother Genius who was mocked by Joker in the banquet hall earlier today.

Brother Genius: I have discovered the biggest loophole in this game. Now... just watch and see!

A brass candlestick is suddenly pulled out from behind him, and in the blink of an eye, it is plunged into his own body.

MC: ….?!

Everything happens so suddenly that we don't have time to react, and Brother Genius falls right in front of us.

Still in shock, we step forward to check, and he is indeed motionless.

Mousy: How... isn't it true that only the wolf can commit suicide in "Carnival Night"? How did he manage it? Did he find a bug in the game?

Like the blood, an uneasy atmosphere spreads from the still soft corpse before us. Just then, the three of us simultaneously receive a private message.

Butler: There are 10 minutes left until the werewolf activity time ends.

Mousy: What... What should we do... The system doesn't seem to show any issues. Should we still follow the plan to kill someone?

Baldhead grits his teeth, seemingly making up his mind.

Baldhead: We're already here, let's go!

Even though I am still slightly confused, I follow them, stiffly walking towards Joker's room.

I input the werewolf's fingerprint and press down on the door handle, but the door remains firmly shut.

Seeing that I am not taking further action, Baldhead shoves me aside and forcefully presses the handle, but the door still won't open.

Could it be another bug, or...? I ponder momentarily, then suddenly think of a possibility, and my heart sinks instantly.

MC: ....Could it be that he is being guarded? Since the werewolf's fingerprint can unlock it, the Guardian might be able to add another lock...

Baldhead curses and, still unwilling to give up, tries other doors, but none of them open.

Eventually, the werewolf's activity time ends, and we can only return to our respective rooms in defeat.

I lie down on the bed with a headache. The werewolf's action failed, and Brother Genius inexplicably "committed suicide"......

Trouble keeps piling up, and I feel like my brain is about to burn out.

The pool inside the room reflects a cold, icy light. I toss and turn, not knowing when I finally manage to fall asleep.

When the rapid knocking sounds for the third time, I groggily wake up and open the door.

Lucien walks straight in, the worry in his expression not yet completely gone. He relaxes only after seeing me.

Lucien: Did you sleep uncomfortably?

I look at his slightly disheveled cuffs, clearly showing he hurriedly threw on his coat to rush over, and I can't help but open my arms to hug him.

MC: I was a bit nervous and didn't sleep well... but now that I see you, all those feelings have vanished.

Lucien wraps his arms around my waist, allowing me to hold him tighter.

His clean and pleasant scent wraps around my tense nerves, making me unable to resist nuzzling closer.

Although the tension wasn't due to fear of being killed, last night was really too frightening.

Just at that moment, a scream comes from the other end of the hallway.

??: Brother Genius is dead!

I shudder all over, pretending to have just relaxed only to be scared again, and bury my head in Lucien's shoulder.

Lucien's hand moves up to my chin, and he looks me in the eyes. I can clearly see my own unease reflected in his eyes.

Lucien: [in a gentle tone] Were you scared?

MC: Mm...

——Not because of them, but because I have to walk through a night without Lucien. I purse my lips and hold Lucien tighter, yet I seem to hear his barely audible chuckle.

When Lucien and I arrive at the banquet hall, I notice that everyone's faces look rather pale, and there is little discussion.

Although it is just a game, the solemn atmosphere brought by "death" grows even more chilling with the constant sound of running water.

I sit down with an uneasy expression, my heart filled with doubts.

Before coming to the banquet hall, Lucien and I went to see the crime scene.

To my shock, Brother Genius, who was dead by the door last night, is now found inside the room.

The butler claims that Brother Genius fell victim to a werewolf last night, but this is clearly not the truth.

...Could it be that he really exploited some loophole in the game, and the game's rules tacitly allowed his actions?

Just when I am puzzled and unable to figure it out, someone nearby breaks the silence.

Red Nose: It's almost time to vote. Why is no one talking? I'll go first.

A guy wearing a clown nose accessory anxiously taps the dinner plate with a spoon.

Red Nose: Could it be that the wolf targeted "Brother Genius" because he exposed his identity as an outsider…

The middle-aged man sitting at the head of the table hears this and slowly shakes his head.

Uncle: "A gentleman does not deceive in the dark." I suggest we all play openly; that would make the game much simpler…

[T/N: basically, the uncle would rather have everyone reveal the role, while the red-nosed guy is afraid that if anyone reveals their role, they will get targeted. Hmm, I wonder why-]

The two begin to discuss it heatedly, and soon, Red Nose's increasingly sharp voice turns it into a one-sided argument.

Watching the human faction fall into disarray, I wish they would argue even more fiercely. However, when I look up, I see Lucien's thoughtful expression.

Lucien: Based on your discussion, I believe that Brother Genius's death is not the worst situation.

Lucien: Please don't forget that his identity was that of an outsider, and the seer is still among us.

Red Nose: So what, are you suggesting that the seer should reveal themselves like you?

Red Nose: Seer, I don't know who you are, but if you didn't identify a werewolf last night, don't reveal your identity!

Facing Red Nose's targeting, Lucien merely shows a gentle smile.

Lucien: I can't control the seer's actions, but since we currently lack sufficient clues, I have a suggestion for everyone to consider.

Lucien: Tonight, I hope the seer can verify the identity of whoever is willing to prove themselves first.

✂———————–

—[Lucien's Route - 4: Banquet Social Season (Non-story/a.k.a Stage part)]—

Every banquet is an encounter.

✂———————–

—[Lucien's Route - 5: Misty Water Mirror]—

Whoever is willing to prove themselves first...?

What does that mean? I pause slightly and then hear the uncle burst into hearty laughter.

Uncle: Good! Great idea. With so many people present, the seer does indeed need some "hints!"

Lucien: So, who is willing to be verified by the seer tonight?

Lucien's lips curve into a relaxed smile as if he is merely making a casual suggestion.

However, alarm bells go off in my mind, and the fork in my hand unconsciously scrapes the plate twice.

Could he really just be signaling the seer hidden in the crowd to start working? No, based on what I know about Lucien, there's definitely more to it than that…

I instinctively want to stay silent; we still don't know who the seer is. What if I'm the only one who raises their hand, and the seer really investigates me? But…

My heart is beating faster and faster, and my mind is whirling.

Until an almost terrifying thought suddenly flashes through my mind, exploding within me.

——Could Lucien be setting up a trap? This trap targets not only the wolves but also the humans.

If I think outside the perspective of a wolf and view it from a human's standpoint, only the wolves wouldn't want to be verified by the seer...

With this thought, I impulsively raise my hand, cold sweat running down my back.

Whatever, I'll take the gamble!

MC: I am human. If the seer doesn't have a suitable candidate, they can verify me tonight.

It seems my action also encouraged others, and soon, more people raised their hands.

As the first to raise my hand, I openly look at their faces, only to notice that the uncle is also observing in secret.

He was so supportive of Lucien's suggestion, yet he didn't raise his hand... Doesn't he want to prove his identity first?

As I ponder this, Red Nose suddenly stands up from his seat and almost shouts from his throat.

Red Nose: Stop doing foolish things! How can you be manipulated by a few fancy words and consider exposing yourself?

Exposing...? In a flash, I suddenly realize Lucien's trap for the humans—the seer, who isn't good at scheming, risks being exposed because of this!

Unfortunately, such shallow and aggressive rhetoric would only enlighten someone with ulterior motives like me. Who else would want to listen?

Joker: Ridiculous.

Leaning against the wall, Joker speaks coldly, casting a glance at everyone present as if looking at a group of monkeys in a zoo.

Finally, his gaze falls on Red Nose.

Joker: Your stupidity makes you useless in information sharing, only capable of creating arguments and stirring emotions.

Joker: Even if you are not a wolf, your voice is redundant for the human faction.

After speaking, Joker ignores the discussions and Red Nose's curses that follow, crossing his arms and closing his eyes as if to sleep.

.......even though the situation is favorable to me, I still feel that he is more of a "shit-stirrer" than the werewolves.

The interruption leaves everyone a little unsure for a moment, and Lucien takes the opportunity to speak up.

Lucien: In deduction and confrontation games, good people always hope to prove their innocence regardless of skill level.

Lucien: Therefore, those who actively seek to have a voice are naturally more eager to prove their identity first, thus leading the direction of the voting.

The cold, shimmering light blurs his expression, drawing more attention to his firm words.

Lucien: Actively seizing the right to speak while not wanting to be checked... If there is still no reasonable explanation, then it's very likely a wolf trying to confuse the humans.

Immediately, everyone’s hands shot up in unison as if driven by a death warrant.

I watch as Lucien steers the situation, effortlessly controlling everyone's emotions, making me feel both proud and nervous.

Then, everyone's eyes converged on the one person who had yet to raise their hand.

Red Nose breathes heavily, his bloodshot eyes glaring fiercely at Lucien, his face full of unwilling rage.

Red Nose: If you're going to vote, then vote!

As expected, Red Nose is unanimously voted out. The attendants take him to the edge of the banquet hall's pool and push him in.

Like the empty stomach of a giant monster finally capturing its nutrients, the calm water surface surges and engulfs his body violently, a striking crimson color spreading across the water.

The pool becomes very bright instantly, but just as quickly, it calms down again. The vivid red water reverts to a pale aquamarine, just as it was before.

Obviously, such a display in the game doesn't relax anyone. People start to leave one after another, unwilling to stay any longer.

I walk to the edge of the long table and turn back to take another look at the uncle, who remains in place.

He sits at the table enjoying his dessert, his brow relaxed, and he seems much more at ease than before the luncheon.

I go over his behavior today in my mind, and an answer becomes apparent to me.

Lucien: [gently] Are you feeling better?

Lucien walks toward me, naturally taking my hand, and I instinctively avert my gaze from the uncle.

MC: Hmm, much better~ Maybe because I ate something, I feel more energized!

My palms are still sweaty from the luncheon, and although I let Lucien hold my fingertips, I never dared to fully open my hand and interlock fingers with him.

Lucien's long fingers gently squeeze my fingertips, seemingly unaware of my little thoughts.

It's just that the time he spends gazing at my face seems... a bit longer?

Lucien: But your complexion is still a bit pale. Have some more sugar.

Lucien picks up a glass of juice from the table and hands it to me. I happily take it and drink a sip, then immediately frown.

...Why does it taste so strange? It's not good at all.

Lucien: Don't like it?

MC: ...No, of course I like anything Professor Lucien gives me!

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel a bit regretful. There was no need to explain something so trivial; I'm being overly cautious…

Lucien just smiles slightly, his eyes as gentle and profound as always.

But perhaps due to the mindset of a werewolf, I have the feeling that he is subtly punishing me for lying.

...With him by my side, I have to be even more careful with every move I make.

[When she doesn't answer last night, he understands why. He understands her choice, hesitation, and pain. So, he still comforts her with so much care. However, he can't help but still feel a bit wronged that MC doesn't trust him enough to tell him the truth and chooses to endure everything alone, so that not-so-palatable drink was his small retaliation.... this fox can be a bit petty sometimes skskks]

[Next Part-> Click Here]

[sgiandubh]

Hitting a nerve, again

Dear @outlanderfandomfollies,

You took an extraordinary amount of time to lecture me on your blog with regard to one of my comments about the (in)famous funeral pictures. This deserves a reply and I hope you will understand it is done in good faith, although I cannot guarantee you that my answer will be devoid of irony. I am who I am, even if my opinions clearly vex you: I am sorry, but there is little I can do to accommodate you in that respect.

Fair enough, then. I took a stroll on your two blogs yesterday and I have to say I am underwhelmed. The thousands of words, the hundreds of pages, all that Taj Mahal of wisdom so liberally, relentlessly bestowed upon us, ignoramuses, was not enough to shake my beliefs. And pardon me the approximation: trying to make sense of what you wrote left such a strange aftertaste, that I did not pay enough attention to such details. Stupid me.

I have to say I was just starting to enjoy your very interesting interpretation of Jungian archetypes as applied to JAMMF. It did also remind me of Richard Campbell's Hero With A Thousand Faces, to be completely honest. I wanted more of that: a non-biased and personal interpretation of a beloved literary character. So, I am asking you in all honesty: why do your approach and your tone change, from professional to patronizing, when you deal with this side of the fandom, including me?

You present yourself as an independent blogger within the OL fandom. That, in my humble opinion, is a bias and a lie. There can be no independence in the current context of cold war, with the "truthers"' side bucketing out insults on a daily basis, with no prompting and no provocation from the shippers. You probably know as well as I do how the spiel works, via multiple spy sock accounts, anonymous submissions often sent to oneself and yes, rivers of "stupid shippers, idiot shippers". You also know and yet keep complete silence about it, that sensitive information is always exchanged in DMs and private groups, primarily out of respect for the people concerned (and also because that is none of your business, Antis).

Your very peculiar orientation is also something that ethically nags me. Independent, yet aligned. I find this fascinating, truly: it reminds me of an Eastern European tyrant's game of promoting himself for years to the West as aligned with the Soviets, yet independent from them. True story.

In the side note at the end of your long (loooooong) intervention about a mere comment expressing an opinion, you write:

I am asking you and I would appreciate a serious, well-researched answer (a girl can dream): exactly which boundaries did I (and I really mean I, Sgiandubh, not "shippers": that is very cheap rhetoric and I expected better from you) cross by simply expressing an opinion that disagreed with your POV?

For comparison purposes, an example of a very recent, supremely suave comment on one of the major Anti players' blogs. We never read any well-articulated protestations from you on those, ever: it is as if they do not exist. Heh. Talking about bias, when it's all about hiding the Antis' garbage under a skillfully woven carpet of scientific jargon:

And since you love side notes and caveats and all the critical apparatus paraphernalia, let me be very clear: I blurred the blogger's name on purpose, and not by cowardice. I blurred it because it is perfectly irrelevant, in this context and at the same time, very representative of a certain dominating vibe, in your camp, about OL's male lead. Something I believe you, as an independent (let's not forget aligned) blogger, should have no trouble taking a strong stance about.

Oh, the stench of intolerance, from the same person who wrote this, in 2016, on her blog:

Yes, yes. I know you also wrote your opinions changed with time and adventures along this long-winding, twisted road. Yet, I cannot help but thinking that a walk down this particular memory lane could bring more serenity and more clarity to your fandom endeavors.

I have no wish to attack you and I am not the insulting type, unlike some of your fellows. But I also do not need a laissez-passer sealed, stamped and delivered by you (with which authority?), in order to continue my journey. I would be very happy to settle on a non-aggression 'we agree to disagree' , keep calm and carry on common ground. At the very worst, I will simply ignore you and would be very grateful if you did the same. I simply feel I owe you absolutely nothing, including my time and attention.

Cordially yours,

Sgian-dubh, stupid shipper

[cybertroniannugget]

Pangea and mt Vesuvius

Not what I originally intended to post here, as I'm writing some spice at the moment but THIS is what my mind was occupied with all freaking day... The whole desaster takes place somewhere in the first movie or between 1 and two. Some details are changed up Which I did on purpose. I know all the movies from start to finish because the hyperfixations are hyperfixating real hard right now.

This is just a random story of how I get idk let's say teleported into the bayverse movies and how I'd probably handle that.

While I sprinkled in a bit more confidence than I actually got, I think it's an accurate representation of what kind of person I am: always cracking jokes, overthinking EVERYTHING, random useless knowledge that turns out to be somewhat useful.

About this fic: sfw, implied romance with OP, trans ftm character, no reader just Alex, confused Autobots they still need to learn so much about earth and everything, I also don't know okay?

This is just me struggling while simping hard for Optimus.

But we still ain't know what fucked up big M's navigation system when he crashed. Infact, why are all of our navigation systems useless here?! ", Jazz adressed, arms crossed over his chassis. "We all be getting lost all the time.

"I think I know why"

Oh please, why did I speak up just now...

All optics and eyes were fixed on me as I said that, making me immediately regret opening my mouth in the first place but here we are now.

"What? Maybe your systems think you're on Pangea.", I said, taking in the same position as Jazz by crossing my arms over my chest.

Optimus leaned closer, one servo on the railing, blue optics studying me thoroughly as to look for any signs of lie in my attitude.

"Pangea? May you elaborate?"

Hearing this deep voice so full of interest made me feel things honestly.

"The supercontinent. Wait, Imma show you."

I take out my phone, careful not to reveal the background, because I couldn't find the time to change it yet.

"Here, this is earth today. You see everything, Europe, Asia, South and North America, Autralia, Greenland and all the islands in the oceans."

"And this is Pangea, it broke apart into the continents as we know them today about 200 million years ago. This is probably what Megatron had in mind. See? When you look at a map of earth today you might think, if you turn south America around and snug it up to north America, they fit like a puzzle. It's because they were together as part of the supercontinent. Or push it up to Africa, same thing. Just squish it all together"

"That human is incredibly well educated.", Ratchet chimed in.

"That human has a name and thank you."

"But why did that happen? It makes no sense.", Ironhide complained, lifting one servo as to show his frustration in what I just said.

"If I may...", I look at Lennox, awaiting some kind of approval to continue. He nods and so I proceed with my explanation.

"Well, I don't know how to explain it scientifically, but I'll try to make it understandable."

Optimus nods, listening carefully. How do these highly educated space robots not know about that? But who am I to judge, they aren't from here so I can't expect them to know everything about earth.

"I think it probably started because of something called mantle convection. That means the heat from earth's interior rises up to the hardened crust. That caused it to break open, creating a volcanic rift zone. The cracks went further, the tectonic plates drifted apart. The rifts filled with water over time and while the plates drifted farther away, the oceans were formed. Or something like that I don't know but today we've got 6 continents."

Always undermining everything I say, great job on trying to act confident...

"And Greenland, I don't discriminate.", I added as some people eyed me.

"But I don't know if Pangea is what your systems used as the base to calculate. There were other tectonic combinations even before that, but it's a wild guess I'd say. I am certain it was one of them."

As I was explaining, Optimus' gaze changed to a warmer tone and I could feel my pulse rise to my ears. He was just so beautiful, and seeing him for the first time in person made my heart flutter uncontrollably. I wish I could tell him how I feel,

But this is real. No scenarios, no daydreaming or fanfiction. It was as real as it could get. Damn it, I wanted to shift here, not get teleported or whatever caused me to end up here with all of them. I hope we can atleast become friends. No need to get my hopes up though.

"Alexander?"

The baritone voice of the Prime pulled me out of my thoughts about him.

"Hm?"

"What kind of heat were you talking about?"

"Oh that. Well, starting at earth's core, it's liquid magma. It's really hot, like 5.200 Celsius hot. 9.000 something Fahrenheit for the Americans here..."

This was met with laughter and I continued with my lesson or whatever you might wanna call it I don't care, I'm struggling here okay?

"The further you go up, the 'cooler' it gets.", I say, underlining the word cooler with my hands in a joking matter.

"They probably got fancy scientific names but don't ask me which. Anyways shit's really hot. And it's what shoots up from volcanoes.", I finish as I look into a round of confused optics and a few tilted helms.

"Volcanoes? When tectonic plates crush against each other, or built up pressure is released, no?"

They all look at eachother, chuckling coming from my fellow humans around me.

"Okay here, that's mt vesuvius, big ass volcano."

"Sometimes these mfs shoot lava from this hole up there, pretty fascinating and scary at the same time.. It looks like this.", I add as they look at the pictures, not knowing whether to be amazed or afraid.

"The glowing stuff you see here is the lava. When it's still underneath the crust it's called magma."

"Are there many on earth?"

"Yup, don't get too close."

Optimus' optics widen at that statement of mine

"Don't worry bossbot, not on this island. The closest from here is next to Madagascar, Africa. Unless you decide to swim a few rounds up there there's no need to get worried."

The Prime relaxes, shoulders dropping while optics still focused on me.

Why is he looking at me like that? I mean I ain't complaining but if he continues like that Imma internally combust.

"You explain everything so well Alexander."

"Please, call me Alex. Alexander seems so long."

The Prime nods understandingly. "Very well then, Alex."

Oh god make it stop. I love you so much Optimus please...!

"His heart rate just shot up exponentially.", Ratchet mentioned and it was right then and there that I wanted to vanish, dissappear, sink into the ground, never to be seen again.

"Haha yeah, chronic Tachycardia, no need to worry."

That was a lie. Yes, my pulse is through the roof right now, but I've got no heart disease.

As I was met with confusion from every bot except Ratchet I explained before any questions could be asked.

"It's a general term to describe an elevated heartrate. You know, the thing in a human's chest that pumps blood through our body."

"Blood?"

"Oh come on. Okay, well then I can explain that to you guys later. And answer any questions you have as it seems no one else here cares about your education on earth and it's inhabitants.", I say grumpily, looking at Lennox, who raised his hands in defeat.

"I can see us becoming friends Alex.", Jazz laughed.

"Looking forward to it!", I said, pointing fingerguns at the silver bot, which is met with more laughter.

"Okay, class is over, what are we gonna do now?", Ironhide asks into the round of bots and humans.

I just shrug, looking at Optimus, who was still looking at me. But when I looked at him, he quickly looked away to Ironhide.

Cutie~

"Alex seems to know so much, why not ask her?."

That statement of a bystanding soldier was met with a glare from Optimus.

"Alex is a he, you better make sure to remember that!"

They went to protest, but Optimus wouldn't let them. "Unless you wish to get what humans call fired."

Oh shit he's really mad...

"I will make sure of that if you continue your unreasonable behavior."

As he said that I could swear I saw the soldier shrink right then and there infront of my own two eyes.

He looks at everyone. "This counts for everyone here. You will respect Alex."

Oh god, he's standing up for me I can't please marry me Optimus, like right now!

"Okay, lessons aside.", Epps put a hand on my shoulder, smiling. "You were great by the way. I think we can use that for good."

He looked between everyone, a stern expression replacing the warm smile, hand leaving my shoulder. "As much as of a crucial hint this is, we can't know for sure what's exactly causing the malfunction. Better dig people."

True honestly, but HOW is anyone supposed to figure it out without cutting someone open? Megs maybe...?!

"Something's on your mind again, I can see that.", Bumblebee said with snippets over the radio.

"What, me?! It's nothing."

"Nothing?!", Jazz protested. "You just gave us the best clue we could ask for. I'm no Optimus Prime but I can say that I wanna hear ya out my man."

He looks up at Optimus, who was looking at me again after listening to his lieutenant.

"I must say, that you have given us great insight on your mental capabilities Alex."

He leans closer and it took everything of the mental capabilities he just mentioned to not kiss him right here right now.

"Well uh, it's just some kind of impulsive thought. You know, the ones you can't really control...",I said nervously, one hand behind my neck, avoiding everyone's gaze.

But he didn't budge, only blinking once while awaiting an answer.

"Okay, you're not budging I see. Fine."

Taking a deep breath and regretting every life choice I had made up until that point, I went on. "Look, I don't know anything about Cybertronian culture and how things are handled. Especially this right here. Us humans, we always wanna know what exactly caused certain events. For example death here. So we came up with analyzing the body of the dead by cutting them open and stuff, it's called autopsy. Maybe, just maybe we could find something. I know Megatron ain't dead but he's in some sort of... Stasis? Someone could check his navigation system and maybe find the cause for the disruption."

I lower my shoulders, trying to be as small as I possibly could infront of Optimus, who's gaze I couldn't quite interpret.

"On Cybertron, there is quite a similar practise."

"So you're saying it's worth a shot, Prime?", Ironhide asks, unsure of what to think of the situation. "But he's not dead, as Alexander pointed out correctly.", Ratchet added.

Optimus turned around to face his Autobots.

"This may be our only chance. We must take it. For the sake of both worlds. This war has been going on for so long, we cannot let this hold us down. And now it seems there is a way to find out why this is happening. We will fix it, together."

Now it was on Lennox to speak up again.

"So we gon' dissect Megatron? I'm all in honestly. That fucker did enough damage."

My eyes widen at that. "They're not gonna kill him!" Unsure of the righteousness of what I just said I looked at Optimus, who nodded.

"See? They're just gonna take out the navigation system and leave."

"Ooh, big M is gonna be SO mad when he finds out."

"He won't.", Optimus retorted with an absolute certainty in his voice.

"Alright then, it's settled. Prepare people and gather as much information as possible for this mission and await any orders from Big O!"

And with that final order of Lennox the soldiers scattered around, leaving immediately.

Okay great, I'm gonna go be useless again wohoo.

"Alex?"

I look toward the sound of the voice I already grew to cherish. "I know, I know. I ain't accompanying you. I'd die if I did, already know that."

The Prime nods.

"I am glad you understand."

I love you so much I wish I could tell you...

As he remained standing there I grew nervous, fidgeting with the strings of my hoodie.

"Is there something you need?"

"Wha- me? No! Just... go be a hero.

You know you're good at it."

I clear my throat, pretty sure Optimus could hear my pulse. "But remember to take a break sometimes. I always see you up and about."

Did I overstep? I knew it. Chance blown. Goodbye earth. No romance.

"I highly appreciate your concern Alex."

He's always saying my name help. Is he just being polite or what does this mean?!

"There is this human saying. What was it again? I grab it with my heart...?"

Please he's so cute I can't~

"I'll take it to heart was it probably. It means to honor someone's wishes as you see them important."

He tilts his helm in question. "The person or the wish?"

That is when I think all the 5 liters of blood inside my body went up to my face.

Keep calm, stay cool Alex. Don't embarrass yourself.

"It's up to the person saying that."

Whatever higher power there is, please help me!

"You deem my wellbeing as important and so do I"

Phew, that was close...

"Can it be both?"

WHAT

"Eh, sure. There's always room for interpretation."

I guess...?

What has my life come to? They probably think I'm a know it all person. I gotta keep my damn mouth shut from now on.

"Very well then Alex, I look forward to working with you."

I only nod, trying not to get lost in those beautiful blue optics.

"I'm sure it's gonna be great Optimus!"

Unless I unsubscribe from life because a Deception squishes me...