#all my remaining effort
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All the Jaxes should also get tipsy. Please.
I put all of my remaining energy into this, I’m so sorry sdgjg
By the way, og Jax would be the stupid drunk who makes a fool of himself-
#my stuff#cw alcohol#non sentient looks so cute QvQ#I redrew sad truck (freakshow) so many damn times I couldn’t settle on how he should look#poor sad truck 🛻#all my remaining effort#into the boys having a drink -v-#there ya go 💚#scp!jax#noodle toon#carnival au#carnival!jax#non sentient professor boi#the amazing digital carnival#freakshow au#tadc freakshow#freakshow jax#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc jax#jax#shitpost
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my mother, when the child she had to bribe with Barnes and Noble visits just to shop for new clothes every fall becomes a clothing history specialist and amateur dressmaker
#personal#clothing#clothing history#fashion#in my defense! it was all BORING clothing!#jeans and t-shirts to wear when I wasn't in my school uniform!#the few times I was allowed to dress even remotely in a way I liked I DID make an effort#...except she didn't like what I liked and it wasn't fashionable so it wasn't often in stores#so. clothing shopping remained a battle
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redid my Scarlet cousin lineup
#my art#oc art#my oc#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustration#scarlet hollow#scarlet hollow mc#Bellamy Scarlet OC#Petra Scarlet OC#Dorathy Scarlet OC#i drew the first one like 3 days ago. and then i looked back on it and thought man i really didnt put much effort into their outfits huh#so i redid it with a bit more detail. also more facts about their runs#petra my lil wayne kisser. she sees him in the distance and goes 'rotting all by urself handsome? ;)'#other than her very questionable taste in men i made her to have big legally blonde vibes#and rat remains the only cousin to have packed appropriate clothes for late october weather#shes the only sane and normal one here#black tabby games
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Yanqing and Yunli Appreciation Post
Keep Reading cut due to 2.4 spoilers~ (also relatively long-ish post)
These two bounce off each other so well! As a writer, it feels so satisfying to see their characters shine through the quest and the event in the way their interactions highlight them. So I'm gonna use this space to ramble about it!
My previous post pretty much talked about it already, but Yanqing!!! My son!!! I was quite worried that any potential arc for him would be shoved down the road or to the side due to the scale HSR has, but the game's been actually holding up to his ongoing arc. As a result, at least to me, he's come through as one of the best written/developed characters on the Xianzhou so far.
The nature of the length of the updates lets what we get in previous quests settle in for a long while, and considering the mentioned of flow of time in-game, Yanqing's had the time to think and develop as a person. The fact that so many players have had their view and opinion of him finally turn around in this quest is a testament to that. We get to see more facets of him, as in, doing his job and the responsibilities of doing so, and how his insecurities are mentioned in a main quest for all to see. He's constantly referencing others and his past encounters. You can tell that Jing Yuan raised him with his manner and approach to things, which is highlighted by the contrast to Yunli (will get to that soon).
His position as a child soldier has made him mature faster, be quiet even when he's been wronged (filial piety/saving face (aka thank you person on Reddit who makes the banger character Yanqing (and other characters in general) appreciation posts)), take a step back and have to be able to read the room (though, reasonably, he doesn't catch on all the time), and much, much more. The fact that other official content has described him as being more worried about diplomacy and all that. He doesn't have the luxury to be as carefree or brash for someone his age.
There's a lot to unpack there still, even with the development he's had now and that's good! If the Hoyo writing team was wild enough, it'd be cool to see them address the grayness of his role and Jing Yuan's mindset in raising him as he did (We love Dad-Yuan and he loves his son dearly no question, but it'd be so interesting to explore his flaws/mistakes in this perspective!).
Now onto Yunli.
I'm saying straight off the bat, I'm irritated by her!
And that's a good thing!
Her being annoying or bratty or irritating doesn't automatically make her a badly written character! She only would become one if they don't do anything with her, and HSR most probably will, and she should be given the same room to develop in her own arc.
She acts like her age, and she doesn't have the same pressures as Yanqing does. Just like how you can see Jing Yuan in Yanqing, you can see Huaiyan in Yunli, if anything he says is to go by. She's tempremental and outspoken to a fault, and based on the way how quickly Huaiyan relented when she talked back, you can tell that Huaiyan isn't as strict/stern with her to give her a sense of being humble.
I had this thought that she's technically what the general fandom viewed Yanqing as initially, and I'm not saying that as a 100% thing, by the way. But like by some traits and the vibes. She, of course, has a lot more nuance that will be explored at one point or another.
But back on topic, she's a foil. They represent two different approaches and lifestyles and can clearly learn from each other. Her inconsideration of the fact that she's on the Luofu but enforcing Zhuming practices (which I noticed people were upset by, and same; which I imagine is the point), her bluntness to no matter who she's talking to—there's a lot to work with here.
Just like with their swordplay, Yanqing could learn from her mental strength while Yunli can learn from his focused speed and defense. He can learn to regain a more firm grasp of his recently found purpose while she can learn to mature and take in her surroundings and be more thoughtful in that front.
Another interesting note is that where we are with Yanqing currently is in the middle of his arc, we've had the time to see him take a long route of struggle to get to this point, exacerbated by irl players views of him. He's in the middle of his growth and we've had since 1.0 to get to know him. But with Yunli, she was introduced very recently, so we're technically at the "beginning" of her character arc. In a way, Yunli now highlights how far Yanqing has come and changed, and in a way Yanqing now is a potential show for the arc that Yunli can have (not being the exact same as him of course).
I think the idea with these two is that they develop to be more balanced. Balance is such an important thing, especially in Chinese culture (Daoism (Yin-Yang), etc.), and 2.4 has shown how much potential they have to make for amazing character arcs.
It's cool that while they have such similar base traits, they're so different from each other. Calling Yunli a female Yanqing or Yanqing a male Yunli is simply outright incorrect. Their backgrounds, upbringings, ideals, swordstyles, perspectives, and positions in life are so distinct. I'm looking forward to their futures!
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr yanqing#hsr yunli#character appreciation#character analysis#despite writing all of that i still feel like i haven't encapsualted fully what i wanted to say esp about yanqing#for yunli i want more time with her character to see where they take her character#i'd assume that they'd give her the same amount of effort as they did yanqing cause it'd be a shame if she remained static which might be#fine superficially since it'd be a cool contrast to yanqing's constant directly visible changing but on a deeper level#yunli a year from now shouldn't be the exact same as she is currently and if she somehow is#that'd be the worst case scenario writing-wise and I trust Hoyo enough to not do that#but if they somehow do then you know what essay I'm writing that day lol#not liking yunli is fine as is not liking yanqing is fine too but I hope she doesn't get treated like Yanqing til her development arc#tho she probably won't which also says a lot if that turns out to be the case#but i'm already making these tags way too long and my brain is very small LOL#struggling jpg thinks
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when in doubt, meme your blorbos
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#character art#illustration#wizard#gnome#rogue#my hot witch wife#'are you sure you're comfortable with this?' 'I trust you 😌' 'well I question your judgement but we can talk about that later'#I have no idea what they're up to lol#in other news I remain clinically incapable of not putting too much effort into a shitpost#but I've barely drawn anything all summer so I'm not complaining#my OCs#melliwyk#felix#noncanon shenanigans#dungeons and doodles
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I was tagged by @justapieceintheirgames to do this piccrew thank you!!!!!!
I always end up with two "versions" of me when I di picrews lol one with impossible to maintain red hair because somehow that is the vision of me in not only my mind but also my friends' lmao and one more "realistic" me lol
(Sisebar: picrew are SO hit or miss when it comes to curly hair 😭)
I tag: @mysterygrl20 @skynapple @bittrbuttr @theslayerscakes @sweetprincesspeach @angelaches @kakashi-fangirl-ita-blog @denjidomination @faraway-there @nneefa no pressure of course!
#I've dyed my hair red before and it remains my favorite look on me#if i could permanently grow in copper or fire engine red i WOULD#thus all my picrew efforts are largely a fictional refhaired version of me and occasionally a more realistic me#i want to be a person who dresses up! i hust rarely am!#this is def not one of the best picrews out there unfortunately so uhhh.... do your best 😭
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currently at That Point which occurs once every few months where one briefly begins pacing around the house teary eyed contemplating selling their own organs or becoming an online scammer or getting on anxiety meds so you can bear the risk taking required to be a hitman or so on and so forth.... why must everything so Expensive... Surely all would be healed in life if only I had one big plate of lasagna and a simple loan of $40,000 ... auoughhh....
#And then you just eventually shrug and go 'welp. nothing i can do i guess' and sad cartoon music plays as you shuffle back to your room#It's just hard with my specific physical and mental issues since it's like.. I couldn't really handle most jobs. I can't handle school. I'm#100% aromantic and asexual so I'll never get married so I can't get money that way. I have too much issues with social cues#+ too nervous temperament + too low energy to put effort into lying and having a fake relationship just for money. so on and so forth etc.#Really I should have just been born into a middle class family. Which I guess everyone says. but ESPECIALLY considering my#chronic conditions kind of hampering my ability to function 'normally' or be Independent in a regular way. I'm always going to be#in some way sort of beholden to the whims of people around me who I must depend on. so... well of course they might as well have been rich#lol like that would have been better for me of course.#AAANyway... Just thinking about another stupid fucking climate change summer... months keep going by so fast.. soon it will be so again#And it's like such SMALL things would make drastic improvements for me. Literally if I just had a place with central AC#then like 75% of my issues with summer would vanish instantly. literally. But instead it's like.. having a cheap hot apartment + only#half functional dinky window ac + my illnesses that make me heat sensitive + living in a part of the country that keeps getting hotter +#inability to leave the house much meaning I can't just go spend time in a cooler place etc. all factors which combine together to make#it just utterly miserable for MONTHS and mentally draining. And literally ALL I would need to fix that is just...#have a place with central AC that works.. (or move to a colder country/area but that also takes money. Or just not have illnesses#that make me heat sensitive. but that I can't control). etc. etc. I guess it's just the nature of the constant background frustration of#being part of The Masses under our current manifestation of unmitigated capitalism. Such minor details would make such huge#quality of life improvements and yet will remain ever out of reach. ONE little thing could change your whole life but you can't even have#that. so many 'If only' scenarios. etc. And of course obviously I am incredibly thankful just to have anywhere to live at all. food to eat#. any sort of stability whatsoever no matter how fragile it feels/is. But that still doesn't make it not frustrating occasionally to look#around and see how relatively little would have to change in order for you to be a decent percentage more comfortable and yet#how still far away even those ''small'' seeming goals are. etc. etc.#Seriously think I've been traumatized by the summer or something somehow lol like thinking about it being warm weather eventually#makes me nauseous with panic. It's just SOOO much labor. micromanaging windows and fans and blocking every ounce of light#and not being able to cook (cant even afford a single degree of temp increase due to the stove) for months and barely being able#to sleep for months and the claustrophobia of days on end crawling out of your skin because it doesnt even get cool enough at#night to offer relief so you're just always feeling trapped.. hgrhh...#It starts getting hot here sometimes in May but mostly June then lasts through October now.. thats like half the year almost.. ARghhH#anyway... If any extremely rich person reading this would like to buy me an air conditioned house in exchange for multiple years worth#of art (I will paint murals on all of your grand dining halls and make all the custom sculptures you could ever want etc) then.. hewwo :'3c
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*exasperated sigh lol* changeeeeee is hardddddd
#the talkies tag#it's been a minute since i did the whole 'small post with lots of tags' bit#idk it's just. for the past couple months i've been really comfortable just vibing with the couple of really good friends i have#and then i went to a dance and met two (2) new people and we exchanged numbers and such#and i decided in that moment that i'd put as much effort as i could into replying on time and actually making goodhearted attempts for them#and for some reason that whole thing has been stressing me out as of late#like i understand that this is a Good Thing and Important Thing to learn how to do the whole social thing#and i want to! i so genuinely want to work on that!#it just. it's just a lot for my mind right now for some reason#i do wish i could remain in the little hidey-hole of 'have like three really great people in your life and chill'#but i also would rather not give up on improving my 'making friends' skills#and so the result becomes: i'm weirdly stressed about nothing in particular#and it begins to drain my poor little introverted self to the point that any socialising is hard#and the real zinger of this whole thing is that i got ONE DAYYY of bad sleep and it threw off my whole grooveee ToT#so yeahhhh- basically the gist is you guys here on Tumblr are My People and don't tire me out and real world stuff is hard#(btw just to really make sure this is clear i am not venting about anybody here y'all are chill as heck i love y'all)#that said i love all my friends very much#and if i have not been very good at responding to you. i am so sorry <3 i swear i cherish you and your friendship#my mind has been everywhere recently#you reading this btw i love you a lot ^-^#thanks for listening#it means a ton#vent
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!! I love whenever you write those post ab how far u r with ur cyberpunk journey and ur opinions and thoughts x3 hope ur having a good day :D
Thank you! I love talking about it so much. This game is beautiful and dissecting its scenes is so entertaining.
I've been doing the fighting club missions lately and was surprised to see Johnny actually show interest in a car.
Tbh same, I saw the car and my jaw dropped to the floor. What a beauty. I beat the guy and let him keep the money, I just want the car!
He immediately projects himself into it and doesn't take his eyes off of the car for a second. Even is like, "What are you waiting for V?" to urge you up to win the damn match and get him HIS car.
Side note: very adorable how when he pictures himself in the car, he chooses to appear in the passenger seat and not the driver's. Because he knows he's confined to the fate of eternal passenger princess and that V will always be the one driving.
But also, I like to think that he was this way even before, never drove himself anywhere, just constantly made people do it for him, while he put his feet up (dirty shoes and all bc bastard) on the dashboard and lit a cigarette.
Anyway here are pictures of Johnny and his one true love!
(Ignore the poser merc, they're just a conformist)
But seriously here is one with just Johnny and the car of his dreams alone.
And some more because those were fun to take
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I recently got all the tarot cards, and let me tell you the scream I scrumt when I finally found the Death card oh my got. umatchable high, finally guessed something right.
The reward is a little anticlimactic—lowkey I hoped for more scenes of Johnny's past where we get to walk around in his body, see more memories, and interact with the 2020 cyberpunk world.
But heyho more Misty content is always a win in my book! My beloved Misty! Is there a mod that adds her to photography mode? I'm desperate, man. I need to take a cool pic of her and V hugging.
How she nonchalantly called both V and Johnny the fool lmao. Accurate. Two brains, one body, yet no braincells to be found. The combination of their brains came the closest to miracling negative numbers into existence.
I'm started to notice a pattern of foreshadowing here. First, Deshawn asking V if they'd prefer a slow death by a comfortable life or to burn in a blaze of glory and become a legend.
And now Misty telling V and Johnny they need to either best the world or make peace with it. One of the two endings to the fool's journey, which is the premise of the entire game as the art direction seems to imply.
To be honest, I know nothing about tarots, and I'm tempted to look up the Fool's journey to read about it. But at this point, with this strong of a parallel, it feels like I'd just be spoiling the game plot for me by doing so. I would rather remain in the dark for now. I will check out the tarots after I finish the game.
Back to foreshadowing, this constant choice offered to you makes me think the endings will either be to follow in Johnny's footsteps and blow up the Arasaka tower, dying in the process and burning into a blaze of glory.
Or, somehow, getting rid of Johnny (or merging together into the same person and suppressing his desires for revenge with your own contentment) and just... living life, you know. Anticlimactic but expected.
(Please don't actually tell me the endings or even hint at them. I don't want to know if my guesses are close)
It'd be cool if there is an ending where Johnny just takes over you completely and the player is forced to control him instead of V. But that feels like a pipedream.
I thought about it a lot, what to do if I was in this situation and couldn't get rid of or calm down this parasite in my brain. My proposed solution is to make another brainchip, copy V's consciousness into it, plop it into any rando's dead body from the piles of corpses we leave behind in missions, then boom! Problem solved, easy peasy. If Johnny isn't willing to move out of my body, then I'll throw him the bone and move out myself. He can have it, dude. idgaf, I'll get me a new body.
But also, this solution will only work in the very, very early stages of the infestation. Otherwise, the chip would've eaten too much of V's brain to be able to correctly copy it into a new chip. Even then, what's the guarantee that we won't end up with a second V and a third Johnny? But hey, at least now they're not dying!
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I've finished the brainchip engineer convoy mission. Rip scorpion. The amount of information revealed ??? Like
So it was never just a relic we were stealing. This chip isn't malfunctioning because Johnny is a stubborn dick who's attempting to take over our body by force. If anything, it's functioning perfectly. This is what it was designed to do, shred your brain into sludge and slowly replace all the parts.
Even in the best case scenario where the soul trapped in the relic is extremely friendly and doesn't want to harm us or erease any part of our brain, It still has no actual choice in the matter. No real power over the relic itself.
Silverhand's engram isn't special. Johnny wouldn't be able to stop the chip to save V even if he wanted to—the fact he is indifferent to the whole thing is another matter entirely.
But the thing is, why did the chip even save V's life if it was meant to activate when the host is dead? For a split second all neuron activity within V's brain began to fizzle out as the bullet tore brain tissue apart, and in that split second the relic made the choice to reboot their brain instead of completely overtaking over it.
Why?
How?
Was it a conscious choice? Was it Johnny's doing? Was it the relic's doing? Was it some stroke of luck?
This also means that Arasaka ment for Johnny's relic to be activated eventually, for what purpose exactly? Why keep the soul of your nemesis trapped in stasis awaiting revival? Just to brag? A victory trophy? A lesson to teach those who mess with Arasaka? To torture him one day? Or to revive him just to point and laugh? Just in case for the unlikely scenario that shitty punk rock bands become a dying bread and it's left to Johnny to save the world with the power of music and unwashed armpits?
Hope it gets answered! eventually... after like 50 more shopping spree montages where I waste all of V's money on clothes and then wonder why I can't afford better cyberware.
I want you to focus on this line here.
"It's programmed to take over its new environment, at all costs."
"No matter what, sooner or later, the engram wins?"
"Yes."
THE IMPLICATIONS! I CALLED IT!!! I FUCKING CALLED IT!!!!
The.
Implications.
Are REAL.
fuck :(
1. Your personalities are merging. The scale is tipping very slowly, but surely. This is a fact.
2. Johnny is suddenly defensive and dismissive in this conversation despite staying silent at the beginning. Denying his influence in the past on you and warning you against listening too much to Hellman only when he started to tread on dangerous territory that'd make you suspicious of Johnny.
3. "at least Johnny never whored himself out like you" is 100% a a Johnny line. V doesn't speak like this. It's abrupt and doesn't fit with the V's past comments during the conversation. But it certainly fits with Johnny's. It was an offered dialogue choice for the player to make. We're actively choosing to make V into Johnny with every option we pick, no matter how small and seemingly meaningless.
In conclusion: the fucker's taking you for an absolute tool. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it's Johnny's influence that's purposely isolating V just so they never listen to any counter arguments on why maybe taking advice from a mechanical tumor is a bad idea.
The more V remains miserable and lonely, the more susceptible to Johnny's influence they become. The more they hang on to his every word, take his advice to heart, look forward to the bits and pieces of chatter he drops around. Things you the player often do.
Because V's current life is unbelievably loney. You sleep alone in empty apartments, shower, drink coffee, go outside, and wander without purpose. The only time people ever call you is when they have jobs for you to take or when they need your help as in doing missions for them.
V spends entire weeks just waking up, killing people for money, going back home, sleeping, then rinse and repeat. Sometimes, days pass by where they haven't spoken a single word to themselves or anyone else.
It's normal from our perspective as players. This is how game protagonists always acted. This is why the loneliness flies under the radar for so long before the player clocks just how miserable V's life is. Why we're none the wiser when V suddenly has lots more dialogue options to reply to Johnny in small scattered conversations, someone they once swore to never listen to, yet driven by desperation and isolation into befriending.
At the end of the mission, you get the dreadful conversation with Johnny.
And I just want to point out that the man saying this
Is the very same man who said this only a few days ago.
Apparently he changed his mind again :)
Fr tho, he's clearly contradicting himself. There is a clear contrast between what Johnny wants, and what he thinks he should want.
Or once he saw that his reign over your mind is invetable, he decided to trash the whole script and come clean with his intentions since you can't do shit about it at this point.
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Talking about isolation, I've recently finished the Sinnerman mission.
Oh Joshua :(
I've dealt with my fair share of extremely religious individuals in my life. Even ones devoted to a delusional degree. You learn to live with them. Because at the end of the day, they're people like you and me. They say the same things people say, only worded differently with some sprinkled religious qoutes here and there. You become desensitised to the fanatic aspect and learn to read between the lines.
And because of growing up in a place with a lot of religious people, I developed a sort of admiration towards the passion and devotion they hold. In a lot of instances, I'd indulge them in conversation and earnestly ask about their interpretation of certain events and ideas.
When I first started writing queer stories at 12 years old, one even came to argue with my in my dms about how wrong the thing I'm doing is. Instead of approaching me with hostility it seemed as if they pity me and wanted to gently diway me from "sin" this greatly piqued my interest as a kid and I spent hours talking to them and debating the actual meaning of certian religious lines.
Because you only get to learn more about the religion type when they share their interpretations of abstract and vague text with you, it gives you a mirror into their inner psyche, their personal opinions and believes, not the ones their holy scripture makes them abide by.
Plus, they're way more open to talking about sombre topics such as death, sin, and redemption. Things the average person considers too heavy for a conversation with a stranger. And I love to yap and philosphise about, so surprisingly we got along pretty nicely for two strangers having a conversation at the bus stop, otherwise I knew they'd want my "undesirable" queer ass to burn in hell.
So when met with a character like Joshua, he wasn't anything out of the ordinary for me. Instead, he felt like a trip back home. I could easily look past his alarming traits and see the person behind the religious talk, I've become desensitised.
I ask you to grant him the same grace, in the following conversation screenshots, to attempt to overlook the religious extremism and approach his words with a fresh open mind. Pretend he's talking about personal philosophy that he discovered or a new form of art he founded instead. Indulge me, to be able to see him in the same way I do.
I'd be lying if I said the protective way he spoke to V didn't stir something in me.
Because no one can even harm a hair on V's head if they tried, but Joshua doesn't know that. He isn't aware of V's reputation or extent of power. They're not someone you best easily. Getting shot and still keeping going is a daily occurrence to V.
Yet he's still gentle with us despite it. Soft with his words, merciful? Benevolent?
Little creepy.
Lonely. Incredibly so.
The way he speaks and holds himself is reminiscent of how stories portray kind yet wise prophets of the past. Asking the person paid to kill you to spend one day with you, willingly at that too, is something straight out of a bible story.
He has enough social awareness to realise Rachel's true views on him. He isn't stupid or naive, Joshua knows the studio is only helping him not out of the kindness of their heart, but to make money off of his death.
He knows what the lieutenant assigned to protect him actually thinks of him. A charlatan, a vile scum of a criminal that deserves death. Yet he risks upsetting Vasques just to stop him from shooting at you.
"I didn't like the way they looked at me, and I had the power to stop them"
Remorse and shame clear in his tone of voice, yet he doesn't try to evade the blame or clear his name. He takes it in stride, tells you why he really shot them after he robbed the story. He doesn't try to mask the truth and say they obstructed his escape, or that he only did it out of desperation for money.
No, he is upfront with his sins. He simply didn't like how they looked at him in fear and terror as if he was a monster.
And he held the power to stop them. Forever. Rather kill them than bruise his ego, than stain his conscience with a reminder of what he's done.
But that was in the past, the man in front of you turned a new leaf. Or so it seems.
"I truly need you."
"You're the one I want to talk to."
"Remain by my side and talk to me"
An artist needs an audience.
An idea is only relevant if it's being thought upon.
A show for one is still a show.
Vasques and Rachel are part of the cast, the opposing powers. Joshua needs someone with new eyes, someone to watch, to bear witness. V is that someone.
He truly needs you much like a painting set on fire needs an observer.
The mission continues afterwards, and he takes you to meet the sister of one of the people he killed. They talk, and you find out Joshua's true plan is.
Now, I don't think he actually thinks he's the messiah or a second coming of christ. It's easy to misinterpret it this way because of Joshua using Christ imagery in his choice of execution.
He understands art on a fundamental level. That's what makes him a good actor. He understands that if he wants to be a messiah, he'll need to go through the whole journey, not just the crucification part—which was done to Jesus against his will, yet Joshua is volunteering himself to it.
Instead, it's a display of love, not of divine powers.
If you've ever cosplayed a character, you'll understand this feeling. You would've felt a much less extreme version of what Joshua's feeling.
It is a cosplay to him. He knows he's not the messiah. But it's a cosplay done out of respect and love, an attempt to wake people up.
It's his unconditional love for his god, which he's showcasing that day, which in turn should prove the existence of god by virtue of its own existence.
He wants this display to be turned into a braindance so he can reach the general audience more easily. Because if what he truly feels at that moment is unconditional love and they get a glimpse of it while playing the BD, then it'd be as if his soul touched them, and maybe changed their views on life a little.
He's not trying to convert people by an execution garbed in holy robes, he's trying to convert them through hope and love, his own endless hope and love.
An honest attempt, by a person fully aware of the corruption that lurks at every corner in this world. Joshua is more of an artist who's using religion as a medium for his art rather than a holy figure. And art touches people just as well.
Does it ring a bell? Remind you of someone who once also tried to shake the world awake through his art?
Then there is the last line he said:
"Think of paid killers like you, V. Have you known love? Do you know what it is?"
And it stung.
The pure love V was shown in a city so vile.
The very same love Joshua hopes to show others that they're capable of.
The very same love Jackie and Mama Welles extended to you, Zuleikha has shown Joshua. If not even more. She reached out to the killer of her own brother, not for revenge to sate the burn in her heart with, but for a chance at mutual understanding.
She offered forgiveness.
You can sneak upstairs and read through her messages. You find out she greatly struggled with the loss of her brother, her journey through grief documenting through brief correspondences between her and the local priest.
That's how Zuleikha got the idea that unconditional love is the answer to this heartburn, how Joshua completely adapted her message.
And that family really struggled with loss. The room next to her is clearly her brother's room, left untouched still. His bed unmade, the same as the day he left it.
There was no bedroom for the mother, suggesting she slept on the couch or living room. Their family wasn't doing well financially, and yet the mother still sacrificed just to give her two children some comfort and privacy.
I switched to camera mode and attempted to read the scattered papers on Zuleikha'a desk. Just copy pasted assets, that, or apparently everyone in Night City owns a lease to a mango farm.
At the end of the mission, you get this conversation with Johnny.
He acts weird during it, doesn't he?
Unusually quiet at first, before V provokes him with the "Where's the rebel Johnny?"
Only for him to snap and admit that the real rebel was in this guy all along. This isn't the first time Johnny has shown surprisingly empathy to incredibly lonely people.
I thought it was strange that his hologram didn't disappear at the end of the conversation. Johnny goes from standing up to sitting down again. It was an active decision.
Until I turned back to look at him one last time before I left
And realised how familiar this scene felt.
Where have I seen this before?
Oh. Right.
Love it when devs have fun.
btw a bug happened here where the Mr. Stud ad got stuck onto the screen? No matter how much I waited, no new ad ever came. So, of course, knowing me, I absolutely did NOT take advantage of the situation to take some tantalising pictures.
Mhm not me sir not at all.
My hand slipped.... however
All night every night indeed.
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It was by complete coincidence that I played these two missions back to back—now I can't help but see the blatant overlapping of what the studio is doing to Joshua, what the Johnny brainchip is doing to V's meatbrain, and what capitalism does to society in our real world.
Let's take a currently relevant example to the year 2025, Squid Game, the series. The first season was supposed to be the only season—much like the first world war was supposed to be only known as the Great War, but humanity never learns—It's a clear criticism of capitalism, it couldn't be more in your face with its message if it tries. You have to actively play a part in the downfall, therefore murder, of others in order to succeed. And when failure means death, succeeding becomes pure survival.
Because that's what money is, as it currently stands, isn't it? Having money means you can afford food, housing, and medication. Every means of survival once offered freely by nature has been stripped bare to make room for more factories, for more villas, for another Walmart parking lot. The weather is constantly setting new records for extreme temperatures every year. The odds of surviving without a roof over your head are getting slimer and slimer.
And Squid game took this line of logic and completely removed the middle man. It moved the finish line in front of the starting point. Shortened the sentence to "Money = the right to live"
All the silly games that mock its participants with its innate childishness and simplicity despite being a literal life or death stake. All the convoluted silly rules you have to abide by to keep a stable job if you happened to start from the bottom. How everything you've worked for, your whole life, can go astray because of a bad stroke of luck or some asshole who got away with it.
Yet look at the show now, turned into another byproduct of the market. The director abhors his creation as it's reduced to another fat, old gold vein for the studio to exploit.
Anything that aims to criticise Capitalism peacefuly, only ends up getting sucked into it instead, reinforcing the very same notion it was set out to destroy.
The 60 year old man who's dedicated his entire life to being a fanatic of Johnny's band, who memorised all the lyrics and knows all the trivial facts there is to know, shamelessly sells you the bootleg of Samurai's first gigs at a very steep price. The very same recorded bootleg of a free concert by people who didn't even know who Samurai were. They just liked the tunes and wanted to archive it. Sixty years, and yet the core message still flew over his head as he churned them into another niche band to make merch off and sell it on the street. The very same songs set out to criticise capitalism only to end up reinforcing it instead as they get sold for thousands of eddies by someone with zero right to sell them.
Knows all the lyrics but didn't understand a single word.
Going back to the parallels. Joshua's demise is inevitable, no matter what choices you make. His authenticity is only valued by how much it could improve the quality of the braindance, protected and nurtured by Rachel for its scarcity, therefore material value.
"It's programmed to take over its new environment, at all costs."
"No matter what, sooner or later, Capitalism wins?"
No matter how sincere of a message you hold in your heart, no matter how authentic and real, how pure your intentions are. Joshua only wanted to prove the existence of unconditional love, because if that could exist, then so could god, in his eyes.
It all ends up being exploited for the benefit of another who's trying to make bank in a certain market under the guise of helping you.
I post my sincere writings and thoughts on a website that bans trans people's accounts, a website that pushes mandatory ads on all of its users, that offers a premium subscription, that censors posts as it pleases to appease shareholders and ad companies. Yet still pushes ads that are just full on real life porn occasionally.
This website advertises itself as a safe place, who's not like those other evil websites ruined by greed. Whilst being overrun by pornbots and obnoxious premium subscription pop ups. And people make jokes of it now, blaze posts fot fun as a silly pvp war thing, pay the very same website to get a cool pin or two on their account. It's irony they claim, those tens of rainbow coloured checkmarks, it's to make fun of twitter checkmarks don't you get it? It's a silly haha joke, aimed to criticise consumerism! By paying ten times the price of the twitter checkmark just to get all the rainbow coloured ones on this website! Hell yeah! You're really sticking it up to the big man. Sick irony my dude.
Maybe that's why I felt sympathy for Joshua, comradery even. I saw myself in him. An incredibly lonely person whose got nothing to offer to this cruel world but their love and feelings in a form of art, who gets robbed of that too as it's used to exploit both the people who abhor and adore the art he has to offer.
I deeply apologise to you, the one reading this, for every time you went to check my blog or reread a story and saw an ad pushed into you between my writing. I'm very sorry we're both being played for idiots in this, that my art was twisted into something to take advantage of my readers for a website to earn literal pennies.
Lastly, Johnny. Our prima donna of examples.
He dedicated his whole life to destroy this one thing, only to end up having his soul sucked out and put on a parasitic brainchip.
And what does he do in this situation? Becomes the very same thing he swore to destroy. He takes and takes from V, couldn't care less that they're a person, he will do everything he can to achieve his goal—doesn't matter what the goal is—what matters is that if he needs V's body to achieve it, he will take it by force.
Every attempt to connect and sympathise with him is twisted by Johnny for him to gain more leverage over you, to sneak that brainchip percentage even a decimal higher while you're busy bearing your heart to him.
Embodying the very same methods of capitalism, the very same soul sucking endless consumerism ways. Except with your life now, your brain, your body, everything you are.
He was quiet during the Joshua quest at the end. "Where's the rebel, Johnny?" V said. He saw himself in him, the very same passion, the sincerity, the unbridled authentic drive for a noble cause.
It's a mirror to what could've become of Johnny's own heart and feelings if he hadn't left the band, turned against him into another tool of capitalism. At one point, it must have clicked that he couldn't change the world through songs.
It was also the closest he got to glimpsing the reality of his current actions, what he's done to you.
"And you're fucked up because of my fucked up head inside you."
He sat there and made a choice that day, to keep doing it, keep paving this path. If the veil to self-awareness got lifted for a second there, Johnny immediately boarded up the windows with wooden panels the next second.
What difference would one life—yours—make when he's already sacrificed a lot more innocents than you when he first blew up Arasaka tower? Shooting at the innocent and the guilty with willful ignorance.
He knows all the lyrics, but he doesn't understand the words. He'll live and die by the very same notions he never fully deciphered.
Johnny isn't the antagonist because he set out to destroy our lord and savour Capitalism, Johnny is the antagonist because he attempted to dismantle Capitalism using the very same methods of Capitalism.
It's like we're in the trolley problem, and Johnny decided to bomb the whole traintrack. Train, conductor, track, and people tied to the track included. Then he clutches his pearls when a few weeks later, they build a new bigger train and a sturdier track with even more people tied to the track.
You cannot "eradicate entropy" when you're goddamn spreading it yourself in a different flavour Johnny!
His long rehearsed speech about the plague of capitalism at the end of the mission. How the words rhyme, how he stood up to yell it out loud, pacing around and looking down at you. Filer words and abstract descriptions ment to target your heartstrings, to ignite the dormat anger inside your mind in the name of ending some vague injustice.
All very much resembling a speech given by your favourite artist upon a stage, at the end of a glass-shattering song, as you stood there sweaty and unclothed as the day you were born, looking up at him in awe as if he was a god, convinced his words were gospel as the adrenaline still pumped in your veins.
How it almost worked on V who just threw up half the sludge of their brain's viscera on the pavement.
How the irony of how much he was describing his current parasitic self during it, was lost him.
How I fear I am the very same. I play predatory gambling games, I mindlessly buy things I'll never use during sales, I preach and preach but in reality I find myself contradicting the claims I make a lot. By my own standards I don't even come close to meeting the ethical measures I set on others, I wouldn't be friends with me If I knew me.
#Whenever one of my writing blogs gets too popular within the fandom. I stop posting in it and start a new blog#I hope this one doesn't become too popular I hope it continues flying under the radar I genuinely fear the masses#I don't want to make a patron I don't want to opent commissions I don't want to put a single word behind a paywall#I don't want to monetize shit I don't want a website with ads to host my writing I don't want to be taken advantage of#I don't want to make anything off of this I don't even want to turn it into original work#I want it to remain the closest thing to unconditional love I'm capable of#to art#Because that's what art represents to me personally. Unconditional love#To others it can represent different things. I know a lot of people dream of making a comfortable living off of their art and that's fair#Your hard work Your creativity and Your time deserves due respect. This isn't to shit on people who do patrons and coms#This is how I feel about my own art. Not others.#btw I've poured so much of my love and effort into this piece of analysis. Literally worked on it all day then stayed up all night to edit#☆character study#☆cyberpunk#☆Johnny#☆V#☆Joshua
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I am SO curious about West Facing!!!!! Tell me all about it!!!
THANK YOU AHH I’m gonna reuse this doodle bc its still relevant lol
So since I’ve been thinking non-stop about royalty and stuff (in case you didn’t know) I ended up going back to my old ocs and pulling some out of the freezer and putting crowns on them lol. I don’t have a ton down for a story yet but SO FAR. It is Quinton Bell, prince/highness of a powerful kingdom looking to annex another kingdom that had gotten sovereignty however many (many many) years back; and Bo Church, a prince from said almost-annexed kingdom.
Basically at the moment its a weird kind of “arranged marriage to avoid war” where Bo’s family basically gives him to Quinton’s family as a sort of peace offering, and it’s not specifically to marry him off but there’s a reason he was the one they handed off as the loudest and angriest black sheep of the children. He’ll be whatever the opposing royal family decides him to be. Meanwhile Quinton’s father has some plans or something about adding exactly such a foreign prince to his family line, and Quinton should get married soon anyway. So the peace offering works, technically, and the threat of invasion goes dormant for at least a little while.
Neither Q nor Bo are totally thrilled with this whole marriage thing.
8 nov 2023 ww game
#like not at first obviously#but after a long time maybe q becomes king or monarch or whatever#and maybe he shuts down any remaining war efforts#and maybe he gives Bo and his companions the chance to return home#but by then Bo just looks at him like he’s stupid#go back home? they didn’t want him there in the first place#its not like here isnt home now anyway#idk its a thought#once again. I care little about spoilers at this point 😂#especially considering i have very little to spoil#the plot is still somewhere far in the ether#but here have this intro!#thank you for asking!! 💕#ocs#my art#emry wip Wednesday#asks#gonna reblog this onto my oc blog with all the proper tags and such i think
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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child#when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me#for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites#while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs#at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books#which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa#anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop#one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me#in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card#tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition#later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned#i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds#but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me#they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes#and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories#which i was always sentimental about as child#from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides#and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns#to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth#parents passed when i was a child#never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness#and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions#and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally#and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost#even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions#but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth#thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood
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So I put the power of friendship and impractical outfits into Metroid Dread. No suits, no shields: we die in a giant laser hand cannon fight like true warriors.
#raven beak#chozo#a lot of effort for a bit#i thought back to that one piece i did a few years ago where i put raven beak in bikini armor and i said#'wouldn't it be funny to see him actually fight in something like that?'#because as we all know exposed flesh in combat is very humorous when large guns that shoot beams are involved#and then my train of thought fell to 'wouldn't it be funny if Samus was covered more than Raven Beak is'#'to subvert the sexy outfits thing a little bit but also drive home the 'god-emperor of Chozo Victoria's Secret' look he has going for him'#So the original sketch was created July 21 2023. And I redid it on April 10 2024.#and built Raven Beak bulky like a pro wrestler to really drive home the drama/hamminess of the situation but also to make him look stronger#my outfit design continues to be lacking but my commitment to the bit remains unmatched#... it's also so much easier to draw silly bikini armor that makes no sense than it is to put characters in regular clothes. or armor.#if you want a 'lore justification' for the lack of armor let's just say Raven Beak doesn't need the suit to be powerful.#and Samus is about to demonstrate that he has sorely underestimated her. by a mile. or a kilometer.#anyways the differences in their outfits match their upbringing and general philosophy#Samus opts for the more practical leotard offering her mobility and lightweight motion#Raven Beak guns for the full regalia that shows off as much muscle as possible while not skipping out on symbols of rank#and he NEVER leaves home without a cape#the cape is a must if shoulder-mounted black hole generators aren't available.
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Spent all day figuring out what I want my new Harlan sprites to look like. Got one pose down, plus an alternate for it :D
HOPEFULLY NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT I'M AIMING FOR IT'LL GO FASTER FOR THE [checks file] SEVEN REMAINING POSES! I'm also making sure to have a better workflow this time so I can more easily go in and draw new expressions later
#wip#BUT OK TO RB IF U WANT! idc either way lol#harlan art#i say 7 left. technically there's also the one i drew recently....#since i tried to make that match the old ones i will have to redo it as well. but since it's newer there won't be as many tiny things 2 fix#i spent a long time trying to make his hair look better with the second hand i added#like trying to weave it through the fingers to get rid of tangents#but i kept spending like forever on that and then mucking it up going bsck to fix something else#so i eventually went 'eh. not worth the effort'#i miiiiiight change how i shade/light him.... but for now. this is the plan#luckily all my layers are remaining separate this time >:) so i csn change my mind later
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my job wants me gone so bad , like 1 month in and they have already brought out their no effort in communication and gaslighting full force, and telling me much of the work I am doing is wrong and accusing me of not doing the basic things like stocking, that I try so hard and am sure to keep up with being the only person working at a time? like if they are going to do this at least do it while i am on the clock..
#this morning i kept apologizing for doing what i was told and trained to do and the lady sent so many messages of 'well I don't remember#telling you' over n over like ??? so then i had to apologize for her not remembering which like no one does that#to that extent unless they are trying to affect you negatively and or try to get you to say something they can use against you#like ive been abused enough i know how it goes 🙃 ??#and then they are like 'why would you be stupid and put in so much effort when you work the busiest shifts of the week?'#when like literally ive got a good eye for design and decent with sales so like i will touch a merchandise make it more presentable#and suddenly the next people coming in will be drawn to the item to buy like im their little magical willy wonka like they said they wanted#on their original job listing#and ofc there is no mention of how the floor is no longer just perpetual dirt mud to slather around bc i actually cleaned the floor#instead of doing there method of just mopping by putting a mop back in dirty mop water.. like you can visibly see the floor crusted when it#is like that and i wont even start on the dust#nor any mention to how the backroom hasnt remained cluttered from extra my extra tidying or severely cluttered by all the work i did#the last two days#just how i have consistently done a bad job not even keeping up with the basics apparently this entire time 😐#anyways 3 hours of my day Wasted and unpaid from how much they made me cry like there is so much more bot mentioned i hate itf
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before legends ZA comes out and totally destroys my going hcs i guess i should say my piece, anyway i think X is the "canonical" game bc fairies, BUT, i also think that, while xerneas has historically been kalos' patron deity, yveltal was actually galar's. and much like how deities irl can get telephoned around over time, while yveltal's power over death was always... present, to galar, it wasn't the ruler of death. it represented conquest and victory, to them. it was only after yveltal fell into its cocoon and was slowly forgotten that the kalosian interpretation of it as death became commonplace.
relatedly, the kalos war that happened 3000ya was a war between it and galar, which ultimately culminated in the firing of the ultimate weapon and the darkest day, which were actually a singular event. and the war was centered on the great crater, and the region around it, which wouldn't become paldea for another thousand years. they were both interested in it bc yveltal and xerneas are both believed to have originated from the crater (see: xerneas' crystal horns) & therefore it's both religiously significant and a source of great physical power—the ultimate weapon was actually built using a scant few fragments of crystal recovered from the crater directly. (though the great crater has always been super impenetrable so they were gathered at great cost from the very upper regions & this is not a feat kalos could probably repeat)
also, it was only after the war ended that zygarde appeared. zygarde's always an enigmatic figure, but in essence it's the crater's cleanup crew. it scavenges divine energy to bring back. this is also why it shows up in alola.
#the nemesis speaks#pla analysis#i'm abridging a lot here. but that's the gist of it.#to make that pla tag relevant beyond just being my general analysis tag: i've said before but i think the kalos war and pla are contemporar#laventon was very nearly involved in the galar side of the war effort and sort of. noped out of there really hard.#so hard he actually can't go back. for the foreseeable future.#also pesselle (and the whole organization she belongs to) is from kalos.#during pla's time the ultimate weapon hasn't yet been fired. that'll be a little while yet#i also havent played the scarvi dlcs so if this has already been contardicted in there uhhhh. nuh uh#depending on what ZA does it may not even address this at all. or i might ignore whatever they say in there and stick with this.#remains to be seen.
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out of context doctor who spoiler
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#beep the meep#character names of all time#my sister has had this thing for years and it has remained unnamed#it sure does have a name now#apologies for how bad this gif is i really could not be bothered to make more effort for this joke
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