#all my homies hate the institute

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

so guess who finally played blind betrayal

[gaiuskamilah]

On the other hand, the family is where most of the rape happens on this earth, and most of the murder. No one is likelier to rob, bully, blackmail, manipulate, or hit you, or inflict unwanted touch, than family.

...

The family—predicated on the privatization of that which should be common, and on proprietary concepts of couple, blood, gene, and seed—is a state institution, not a popular organism. It’s at once a normative aspiration and a last resort: a blackmail passing itself off as fate; a shitty contract pretending to be biological necessity. Think about how (on TV, or in your own life) a reminder of family ties and obligations is often a cruelly repressive move. Think about how, in mafia movies, loyalty to and love for “the family” is enforced among members via penalties worse than death—and this only feels like a mobster exaggeration of the general, civilian logic of the family. Think about the British royal family and the deadly logics of eugenicism, lovelessness, and property-worship that govern its internal affairs, even as it is held up as a prototype for the family around the world and exoticized (albeit criticized) for an international audience on the ongoing 2016 Netflix series The Crown. Think about honor killings, femicides, and the deaths of children like English six-year-old Arthur Labinjo-Hughes, whose murderers, in the words of Richard Seymour, “thought they were his victims.”

...

Realist and gothic traditions alike view family as a field of howling boredom, aching lack, unhealed trauma, unspeakable secrets, buried hurts, wronged ghosts, “knives out,” torture attics, and peeling wallpaper.

Sophie Lewis, Abolish The Family

[kidrat]

[id: screenshot from arc 20 of Worm. It reads:

“I am,” Defiant said.  “Would you arrest me for being insubordinate?  Or would it take something more substantial?”

“Test us and you’ll find out,” Director Tagg responded.

“And what would happen then?  Would you send me to the Birdcage?” Defiant asked.

The question was heavy with the reminder that it was Dragon who maintained and managed the Birdcage.

end id]

sorry but this is SOOO funny. they can't arrest him, his virtual girlfriend controls the entire superhero prison complex. gagged and etc.

[kursedmayo]

Oh yeah multiple times. Minus the faking part though 💀💀

Leo. Leo you're a hero right? A vigilante? A do-gooder? Well then can you come over here and from the workload holding me hostage rn because I might straight up die at this rate I have so much projects both academic and personal ones. Help. 💀💀

i've been known to do good in my time but this sounds like it might be outta my wheelhouse buddy

have you considered faking your death

[lysolbabey]

remember how melanie king in order to quit her job had to gouge her eyes out with a fucking library AWL?>???? it makes me sick to thibk about it like of all the ways homegirl couldve blinded herself oh lawd melanie girl you were desperate desperate fuck the magnus institue for putting her in a position to have to do that ugh fuck the magnus insitute me and all my homies hate the magnnus institute

[americanoddysey]

fun fact: the working title for this fic is "all my homies hate the magnus institute"

[thedeafprophet]

Trademark: hands in mouth, consent issues, well-put criticism of the church in the game, and putting a lot of care into drawing bodies

fuck the church all my homies hate the church

Summary:

Hands In Mouth ✔️✔️

CNC ✔️✔️✔️

Bodies ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️

The Church As An Institution ❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

Ask Game

[thatrandomlemononyourcounter1]

can I get your teetle head canons homie?

...which ones?

Cause like there's 2012, Rise, bayverse, mutant mayhem- yk?

I'm gonna guess and say Rise cause that's the only thing I've posted about so far

Let's start with Raph lol

He likes to work out and train really early in the morning cause everyone's asleep and it's super peaceful.

His favorite drink is hot cocoa with those giant marshmallows and whipped cream

When he's bored, he likes to shadow box the air

His favorite superhero is Thor because he's also really buff but a total sweetheart

His love language is Quality Time (don't come for me)

He's blind in the eye that was punctured from the Kraang, so it's hard for him to read things

Even harder cause he's dyslexic

When he can't sleep from nightmares, he tends to train with Buddy to take his mind off of it.

He loves teddy bears (But that's canon so)

He really wishes that he could be friends with humans and they wouldn't be so scared of him

Is the one who volunteers at Todd's the most

Also is the biggest supporter of Cass's Girl Scouts

I'm gonna do Leo next (Side note he's my favorite so I have a lot more for him ;-;)

This man...makes all the puns. Sometimes when he can't sleep, he'll go on Reddit (or whatever) and look up puns/pick up lines

He doesn't sleep all the time, but when he does, it's in the most obscure positions known to human (turtle?) kind.

Once he mastered his portalling, he took advantage of it and travelled for awhile, exploring different places.

He's the most suspicious of people and prides himself on his intuition.

Cannot cook. Or bake. Or do anything involving an oven. If you ask him to preheat the oven, he'll ask how.

His favorite animal is a tiger, ever since he was a little kid, because "They have stripes like me!)

Speaking of stripes, He used to color them in with a green marker because he didn't like them. His brothers noticed, and all agreed to draw stripes on their faces until he stopped.

His favorite drink is Sprite (for some reason) he also really likes mint tea (if it's made right.)

He loves hair on people, and wishes he had some of his own. He likes to watch hair styling videos and pretend he's doing his own sometimes

He's terrified of bugs

He tried drawing on eyebrows like Donnie once, but hated it so much. (Turns out he's allergic to sharpie on his skin)

He's terrible at drawing

He's actually really good at running and has a really high stamina level

Used to picture himself being a racecar driver

His favorite Disney movie is the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but he would never admit that. If anyone asks, it's Wreck-it-Ralph.

Has an insatiable sweet tooth

Feels phantom pain in his chest sometimes that feels like it's being ripped open

When this happens, he curls into a ball under a weighted blanket and focuses on breathing

Him and Junior have random movie nights when they're both not able to sleep

Donnie time

His sleep schedule is terrible, and he tends to forget what time is most days (I'm not projecting)

Has several rubber ducks on his desk so that when he gets stuck, he can do that thing where he explains the thing to the duck

His favorite field of science is quantum mechanics

He was always really good at math as a child, but couldn't do English to save his own life

His favorite color used to be green, but Splinter called him purple because all of the turtles were green, so it eventually changed to purple

He hates the texture of slime (and how messy it is)

Surprisingly enough, he's the one who sneaks into the human world the most (mostly to go to libraries and science institutions, but hey, even the world's most renowned scientist wants Taco Bell sometimes.)

Speaking of Taco Bell, the only way he will eat any fast food is if he scans it for hair and the like. His worst fear is finding a hair in his food.

You would think that his favorite board game would be chess or monopoly or something, but nope. It's Scrabble. (He likes coming up with really obscure words to mess with everyone else.)

He's super super squeamish which is why Leo is the medic. The sight of blood makes him light-headed, and once when he was learning about the heart, he passed out.

He's a bonafide theater kid, and if given the opportunity can and will rant for hours about different musicals.

His least favorite style of music is rap

Or country

He has a hidden mini fridge in his lab that has a bunch of skincare products that he pretends he doesn't have when his brothers are around

Sometimes him and April have 'girl's days' where the basically gossip and April paints his nails.

His love language is torn between act's of service and gift-giving.

He's not touch-adverse, per-say, but he doesn't really like to be touched without warning.

He always hated magic shows, and if they were on tv he would point out how they did the tricks. (Leo hated that.)

His favorite Disney movie is Big Hero 6 and he often info-dumped about it to anyone who would listen.

He really likes to chew ice

When he gets bored, he'll test his ability to stay underwater. (it scares the ever living life out of Raph)

He has scars on his shell from the Kraang ship and they're really sensitive

Michelangelooooo

His face always has stickers or drawings on it

He used to want to be a makeup artist and used to practice on April all the time

Orange is indeed his 'life color' and his favorite fruit! his favorite dessert is orange sorbet.

He doordashes food to homeless people sometimes

His favorite superhero is Spider man, or Black Panther

He once did a character study on Ariel, and ended up doing a whole art portfolio, comic, and Pinterest board on her. She was his hyperfixation for a hot minute

He used to pass out as a child sometimes because of his hypoglycemia, and it would freak everyone out. At one point Leo finally figured out that he had hit and ever since then, there's only been a few incidents

When he cleans his desk it only stays clean for about a day, and then it's dirty again and it annoys him to no end

Has an extensive knowledge of spices and seasonings, and every food that he makes tastes like everything good in the world and sunshine combined.

He is an active animal activist and is staunchly against animal cruelty and experimentation

When his hair starts growing in, he goes to April for help with it, and puts little bows and ribbons and hair ties in it.

His favorite game is Animal Crossing and whenever one of his villagers moves away, he sobs dramatically

He loved trains as a kid and as a result he's freaky good at drawing them and knows a crap ton about them

He organizes slideshow nights, family game nights, and family dinners

He's super into the holidays and is the one who made/bought all the decorations

He used to collect barbies to use as drawing models

He was super sad there wasn't that many Ken dolls though, and insisted on sending a complaint to Mattel

Was the first one in line for the Barbie movie too

Anyways sorry this was so long- but I really liked this ask

If you want me to do my April and Casey (jr and sr.) ones then send in another ask.

[qwerty-keysmash]

tmagp episode 1 live thoughts

ohoho i cannot wait for you to be terrible in my ears again alexander j newall

NEW INTRO NEW INTRO

jesus christ that is some intense intro music

computer?? noises???

addiction to vitamin d asjdashdf

""big milk"" im crying

ok i love these two already they are hilarious

is he leaving? :(((

aww he iss :(((((

THE BANTER I LOVE THEM

lena sounds like an asshole

this is a whiplash from tma ep 1 ngl

ok so theyve got some code or something that doesnt work??

that loud fake HEYYYYYYYY sfahj

...was the cake black forest??

is gwen the bouchard??

alice is already my favourite

so how is this one being recorded? obviously its not tapes

oh i love sams accent

"you can ignore that" so thats going to be relevant later, got it

a FLOPPY DRIVE

WINDOWS 95

PREDECESSOR TO WINDOWS 95

incidents...... spooky incidents mayhaps?? 0.0

they ARE spooky!!

DOLLS COMMA WATCHING VS DOLLS COMMA HUMAN SKIN ADGHAKDHAKD

they really have just reinvented smirke's 14

ohhhhhh it'll read out the cases so now we have STATEMENTSSS

a "chatter case" sounds so much funnier than statements lol

norris, chester, and agustus asdhjasdfajsk

OHHH SHIT NORRIS IS ALEX

IS NORRIS MARTIN??

WAIT DOES THAT MEAN THE OTHERS ARE JON AND ELIAS

FHASUOFIGASUHDKJNFJAMFGNAK

ok focus on the actual statement, blue

dont go in the spooky graveyardddd noooo

ah hello violins in the background, how i have missed you

the strangerrrrrr

of course its not arthur you dumbass

who tf is sending emails this poetic

oh hello gwen

ohh so shes actually good at her job, nice

fuck lena all my homies hate lena

aww i like gwen, hope shes not evil

FUCK LENA ALL MY HOMIES HATE LENA

mmmm but can she resign

oh she wants to climb the ranks, i see

poor sam, man just wanted to make small talk

ALICE AGJKSHAD

poor colin tho

THEYRE SO AWKWARD ITS KILLING ME

aw gwen and sam bonding

"the awful terrible thing" shes straight up asking about that origin story 2 seconds in lmao

JON JON JON AHDSGJKHSKVDAJFVSUYED

MAGNUS INSTITUTE????????

oh this is like a reddit forum or something

NOOO DONT GO CHECK IT OUT

well at least hes alive???

paranoid?? 👀

ok so a fire 20 years ago burnt the magnus institute

THE ARCHIVEEEEE

spooky symbols??? suspicious stains??????? oh im so invested

yep all that digital technology do be malfuctioning

you're paranoid? have you tried stalking your coworkers, ive heard that can help

oop hes getting doxxed

MAGNUS THEME IN THE BACKGROUND?????

OH NOOOOOO HES DEAD HES SO DEAD

EYES 👀👀👀

this is just your average reddit thread tbh

BLAST FROM THE PAST?????????

ok so jon is chester and martin is norris, so elias must be agustus

lol, going drinks at 6.30am

theyre exes haha, jongeorgie who??

oh shes smart fr

awwwwww

COLIN KNOWS RED ALERT

so the computers are listeninggggg

SO GOOD GOING TO NEXT EP NOW

[palidan-sheep]

It would’ve genuinely been funny as hell to hear father list off the reason that the commonwealth is doomed, I don’t mean like he’s saying the constant fight and betrayal.

I mean “Florida man” type reasons-

“Commonwealth man killed after attempting to seduce Deathclaw.”

“Local settlement burns to ground, witness claims “a really big botfly got stuck in thier outhouse, fire grew out of control.”

“Man shot house cat, calming the cat was a synth and was spying on them, cat still lives.”

“Meet the women with 5 pet mole rats and a Yao Gui husband!”

“Goodneighbor Mayor Hancock found strung up by his foot off of balcony, stats “Jet is a helluva drug.” 

And then there’s also the shit that his own flesh and blood does, he sees everything after all.

If father knew half of the shit I did, his disappointment for me would be deeper then his disappointment for the commonwealth as I’m sure he would’ve caught wind that I had segg’s with a robobrain…

aNYWAYS- I imagine him just being so tired or the commonwealths bullshit that he decided that by wiping the slat clean, things will get better lol.

[stagcharmed-a]

this fandom doesn’t hate the ministry of magic enough for me tbh

[moonshine-dan]

AHH reblogging literally ALL of my stuff at one makes my heart go 💓! ooh hmm here's a question for you: would ya bang a bootlicker, as long as they were muzzled?

If you're talking someone who literally has like a boot licking fetish, sure! Keep them away from my feet though.

Like, an actual boot licking, racist supporting, murder excusing bootlicker? I would literally rather have the first guy lick my toes. I'm not so desperate for a lay that I'd stoop THAT low 🤡

[frenziedslashers]

On a spree on asking this- what do you think some of the characters you write for smell like?

What I think Slashers and Borderlands Characters smell like:

Thomas Hewitt: Sweat, Dirt, Blood.

I love Tommy, but this man looks stinky </3 he looks like what I smell like after a long day of hunting, tracking, and killing a deer which is no Bueno. Honestly, he looks like he smells worse. So I rate him 1/10. I do believe he would shower for you though.

Tiffany Valentine: Honey and Sweet Perfume.

Mommy 👁👁- I truly believe that she smells SO GOOD. Like bury my face in her skin good. She just looks like she takes good care of herself when it comes to appearance and she just smells yummy. She does smoke so there may be a faint cigarette smell to her, but I feel like her perfume over powers it, but in the best way. Not in a "I can't be around her because of how stronger her perfume is" way. I give her infinity/10. I want to smell her so bad.

Otis Driftwood: Blood, beer, and weed.

I truly think this man is as smelly as Thomas. He doesn't look like he takes care of himself too well when he is working on his projects. Though his hair did look fairly soft? Not too greasy? So he might shower and clean up fairly well when not working on his art. Homie reeks of weed and beer 24/7 though. I rate him 4/10. He's higher than Tommy because weed is a comfort smell of mine due to family smoking it a lot since I was small 💀👍

Baby Firefly: perfume, liquor, and weed

She takes more showers and uses more deodorant and perfume than Otis, though she still has a faint blood smell to her. She makes sure to clean herself up real well after her projects. Especially since she seems to lure a lot of people in. Can't be smelling like death if you wanna have more friends to torture. She also likes smelling good in general, but does smell like liquor and weed. I rate her 8/10.

Stu Macher: Cheap Cologne and Old Spice

I love Stu, but he buys the cheapest Cologne and Old Spice. I know he has money or whatever, but that doesn't stop this dingbat from acting like a highschool boy. I would eat up that smell though. All the hot guys in my area smell like this. 9/10

Billy Loomis: Leather, Cigarettes, and again... Cheap Cologne.

Homie smells like the bad boy type. Got the leather and cheap Cologne type smell going on. I feel like he steals Stu's Cologne because he likes the smell but is too lazy to go and buy his own lmao. 7/10 because I hate the smell of cigarettes.

Michael Myers: stanky. Death.

I feel like they didn't let him bathe in the institution so he just kind of lives his life smelling like death himself. Please, Mikey, take a shower. I will wash your hair for you. -2/10

RZ Myers: even worse than OG Mikey...

I love you RZ Myers, but Holy Jebus... have you ever seen a bar of soap? No? Fuck. Idk guys, he looks like a mess. Probably why I like him tbh. I would MAKE him shower. Idc if he tries to stab me. The STENCH of this man. How does he sneak up on people? -4/10

Bo Sinclair: Cologne, beer, and oil

Ugh he is such a comfort smell LMAO I associate him with the mechanic smell and my dad's and ex mechanic so Bo would be straight up nostalgic if I smelt him. I feel like he does take good care of himself. He seems like a tidy guy. Gotta smell good if you wanna keep tourists in town. 9/10 only because of the beer smell. I hate beer.

Vincent Sinclair: Cologne, burnt wax, maybe slight death lmao

He smells okay. It truly depends how his week is going. If he's lost in his art or not feeling the best mentally he may not shower as much as he should be. He does like keeping clean and smelling good, but damn. That's hard sometimes, y'know? He tried his best, but he doesn't smell horrible. 8/10, but he's a king so that's fine.

Lester Sinclair: Old Spice, but also B/O and Death.

I love Lester SO MUCH but FUCK he smells bad on his work days. I hc that he showers every night, but during the day that he's working he reeks. Not only is it hot as balls so he's sweating buckets, but he's also picking up dead roadkill so the stench just attaches to him. As a farm kid, if you're wet. From sweat, the hose, or even just from freshly taking a shower. That's when smells seem to leech onto you the most. I HATED taking care of hogs for that reason. 5/10 on his stinky days and 9/10 on his good days.

Brahms Heelshire: mold

I literally cannot explain it. He looked musty in the movie. I mean he lives in the wall... IN THE WALL. He has to have this musty old man smell that would have me scrubbing the house ceiling to floor and then dunking him in the tub. -10/10 because I am deathly allergic to mold.

Borderlands-

Mordecai: Rakk Ale, bird, and gun powder.

I love him, but he doesn't take care of himself well. (I could help him though...) he drinks all the time and his only friend is his bird so he's gotta be stinky. Like a bar and a zoo in one. Plus as a sniper he smells like metal and gun powder. 2/10 for Mordie Mom.

Scooter: Oil, Gasoline, anything related to Mechanics.

He is a Mechanic, in every game he is in he has a streak of oil on his face or SOMEHWERE on his person. He just looks like he'd smell like the mechanic shop. I love the little guy but he needs a bath. I would happily help him with one, too. 4/10.

Krieg: Death.

Literally nothing else. He is stinky and that's that. He knows it too. Part of him hates it, and the other half doesn't care because he's a psycho and all. I would help him with a shower if he asked. Or with just personal care, I feel so bad for the guy. 2/10

Rhys: Expensive Cologne and metal.

Idk, he just looks like these two things. I wanna stick my face in his neck and smell him though LMAO I love him so much(only without his weird mustache thing) but ugh I would again, just feed off of the Cologne smell this guy let off. 10/10

Brick: Sweat, Dirt, and guns

He is a stinky big man, but that's what makes him him. He is a bounty hunter and then pretty much a psycho leader thing after all. How is he supposed to regularly shower? He would if he was asked to by Tina or say you, but he doesn't do it a lot. Only because he's always on the move and it's so hard to. 4/10.

Moxxi: Alcohol, but also the sweetest Perfume

MOMMY- I mean... She smells very good. She has the bar stench that kind of lingers on her, but in the best way, y'know? It mixes with her perfume and she smells like Pandoras most intoxicating cocktail. Like you.could get drunk off of just her smells. I can see why Mordie and Jack aren't entirely over her tbh.

Zer0: leather and outdoors

This guy is so mysterious and I love them for it. I think they smell like leather due to their suit and also outdoorsy. Not in a stinky way, but like. He just smells like outside. Like he blends in with his surroundings, because he does.

[mayihavethisdanse]

Dugouts & Deathclaws??

This was pretty inevitable, wasn't it.

Individual images on my Twitter (tanaleth_tweets); alignment chart & analysis under the cut!

Disclaimer: YMMV on any of these interpretations. I tried to avoid repetition and the temptation to multiclass, which is why I limited the number of characters to the base game. (Strong fought Cait for the Barbarian slot and lost.)

I also stuck to core D&D 5E archetypes and backgrounds… except where I didn’t. Call it my Chaotic streak.

Acknowledgements: Hat tip to @bigbraincel for a lot of these ideas (like warlock Deacon). Thanks also to @theggning, @minuteminx, @third-rail-vip, and everyone else who's mulled this over with me on Discord.

Alignment chart

All the characters I drew, plus a few extras:

Why the little arrows: a lot of the characters’ arcs or core conflicts could be represented as a tension between squares on the alignment chart. Not all of the characters are comfortable in their alignments or even destined to remain static where I placed them.

Character breakdown

A couple more notes on alignment in general:

As I'm using it here, alignment is first and foremost a roleplaying tool that guides a character’s choices and actions. FO4 has a great cast of companions with really rich characterization—richer, I think, than fans sometimes give it credit for.

The lack of clear-cut LG and CE characters among the companions is notable and I think it reflects the writing's deliberate tilt to ambiguity and shades of gray. You could argue for CE among the raiders, etc., but the Fallout universe really isn't one that lends itself to LG characters. It’s very hard for a character to be both Good and Lawful in a world where institutions are all basically corrupt.

It's not entirely crapsack either, though; there’s reason for hope and there’s goodness and resilience among all the muck. Very few people or even factions are all good or all bad. (Except the Legion. All my homies hate the Legion.)

Once again: YMMV! Even where canon agrees on a character’s actions, you might interpret their motivations differently or weight the consequences differently. It’s all for fun. (Please don’t leave me nasty notes. That is not a Good action.)

Also, can I just say that formatting this kind of post for Tumblr is a pain in the butt. Tumblr is Chaotic Evil.

Lawful Evil - X6-88

Pretty much a textbook example of this alignment. X6 is driven by loyalty to authority in a way that many of the other Evil-aligned characters aren’t (e.g. Gage, who I’d put as comfortably Neutral Evil).

Equally driven by a desire for order, but less willing to commit atrocities for it is Danse.

Lawful Neutral - Danse

Danse aspires to be a Good guy—he tries really hard to be one—but when we meet him, we see him actively suppressing his own, more humane instincts in service of the ideals of the Brotherhood.

Here are some possible adjectives describing lawful neutral characters: reliable, responsible, truthful, orderly, loyal, respectful of authority, regular, structured, rigid, neat, methodical, and precise. (source)

Yep. That’s him.

Chaotic Neutral - Hancock, Cait, MacCready

Cait and Mac are solidly Chaotic Neutral. Cait is a little further south on the Good/Evil axis, but neither of them are bad people: their focus is on them and theirs. Survival first, everything else second. A very Neutral attitude.

This one is going to be controversial, since I think a lot of people read him as Chaotic Good, but I’d put Hancock over the border into Neutral too. I think his intentions are good, but he does a little too much stabby-stabby and overlooks a little too much gang violence to be Good; really, his character is all about the contradiction between his ideals and his (in)actions.

Actually, Danse and Hancock are good foils for each other. They're almost polar opposites on the law/chaos axis, but in terms of morality land at about the same place: both want to be good guys, but—at least when we meet them in FO4—neither of them are doing what they would need to to be Good guys.

But someone else is, and that's...

Chaotic Good - Deacon

Deacon was a really interesting character to ponder. I actually suspect his original or “natural” alignment is something closer to True Neutral… but he’s dragged himself into Chaotic Good by virtue of his actions and his desire to atone for past mistakes. (Looking at it in that light, when we meet him in FO4, he’s still “balancing out” that dip into Evil in his youth. Aiming for a lifetime average of Neutral??)

Neutral Good - Preston, Curie, Codsworth, Nick, Piper

The busiest square in the chart!

Within it, Nick and Piper lean Lawful and Chaotic respectively, but I’d argue that they both still fall within the bounds of Neutral Good. Piper opposes authority because it’s corrupt, not because she believes in fighting authority for its own sake; Nick supports order in general but also recognizes the potential for the abuse of power.

Codsworth might be a little lower on the Good/Evil axis than the others, I think (some of his commentary is hilariously/alarmingly violent) but overall, he’s pretty committed to being a good bot.

Preston and Curie are comfortably Neutral Good, in my reading. Both are very concerned with doing good and improving the world; both will defy an unjust law but also disapprove of unnecessary shenanigans.

And last but not least, on an alignment chart all his own:

Good Boy - Dogmeat

You know it's true. ૮ ・ﻌ・ა

[demigoddessqueens]

Cool! So basically I had a Percy x reader where the reader has a story like Renfri's in The Witcher and Percy and VM help her through her situation where the wizard responsible for her life going to shit shows up in Emon? Does that make sense?

Yes! Renfri got me hooked on the first EP and she was interesting 💕

Also Stregebor can get fucked 😝 me and my homies hate him

When you all first met, the party was drawn to your mysterious, aloof nature. You were charming, witty, how you carried yourself suggested you more than just good with a dagger and knife. It was only natural that you stuck around with each other, and helped each other here and there along with the rapport. Unfortunately, the budding friendship is threatened by the arrival of mage who ropes in Vox Machina with an elaborate tale of your birth and past, and the “danger” you pose to others. Seeking to find what is truth, you both meet again and after hearing your tearful account, they are resolved to help you. Along with a newfound hatred of this mage.

Percy - he’s the one you bonded with the most. Seeing as how mages and wizards have both been upheavals in your lives, he knows what that pain feels like. In making a plan though, you’re impulsiveness can be clashing with him being stubborn (“they created me just as much as they created you! We’re not so different!”). But, he’s more than sure in helping you take down this arrogant mage, and helps you and Vax ultimately deliver the fatal blow. Also cue the love scene with Geralt and Renfri

Pike - she’s familiar with others can be, and given her history with Grog, she’s infuriated at the treatment you received in life and is more than willing to help you in your cause. Aside from angering you, this mage’s worse mistake was undermining the war cleric

Grog - your story reminds him of his childhood, and he’s grateful that he had Pike, but given how alone you had been he feels pity for you and wants you to tag along with the group. Plus his arms make for comforting hugs when you need them 🥹

Scanlan - even he’s horrified by what you’ve had to go through; good at intel and helps set up the meeting to where you and Vox can both trick and corner this person. Afterwards, he’s a presence that reminds you to find the joy in life again.

Vex’ahlia and Vax’ildan - your story is one all too relatable to their own; they’re beyond horrified at how your life has turned for the worse, and they’re a comforting/understanding presence. You also closely bond with Vax and he’s determined in helping you and Percy take down this mage

Keyleth - she’s always been wary of institutions and those who blindly follow, and after hearing your story, she’s not backing away from this one. Helping in any way she can, the Druid-elf is such a refreshing friend you’re glad to have met

[lord-squiggletits]

I know literally no one cares about this character, but the reason I hate Dai Atlas as a person and think he’s a self-righteous hypocritical asshole is because he’s LITERALLY from the same generation as Nova, Galvatron, Jihaxus, and all the evil old bastards of the Golden Age who oppressed their own people and conquered everyone.

Then he became a Senator and was (presumably) a Senator ever since it was created, meaning that he had institutional political power during the times of Nominus, Sentinel, AND Zeta, all three of whom presided over regimes of intense corruption and suffering of the people.

But when Optimus becomes Prime-- oh then, THEN all of a sudden Dai Atlas has so much to say about how Optimus is a “warmongerer” for wanting to fight Megatron, who is currently trying to conquer all of Cybertron. (Him not liking Orion because he was Zeta’s right hand man is justified though, although I would argue being a Senator makes Dai Atlas just as culpable for all of the oppression that happened or at the very least makes him an incredibly privileged individual who has no room to criticize others, but whatever.)

And it’s at that point in time, THAT POINT IN TIME, when Cybertron is going to shit and tearing itself apart over civil war, energon is running out, and the government is incredibly unstable...

Dai Atlas, who has had the political power to influence Cybertron since the Golden Age and had a seat on the Senate during the ENTIRE REIGN of the Primes?

Oh, then, THEN he decides that all of the sudden pacifism is the coolest thing ever, and him being a pacifist after millions of years of sitting on his ass achieving nothing as a Senator is TOTALLY the morally superior position compared to Optimus, who embraces his responsibility for Cybertron and is committed to fighting so that people can continue to live on their home planet. Like okay Dai Atlas, you fucking bitch ass, it’s so nice to know that you’ll use pacifism as an excuse to wash your hands of Cybertron’s civil war despite the fact that YOU were in power and YOU failed to prevent society’s degradation and YOU are a capable warrior who is respected as a leader that could easily bolster morale/military capacity by remaining on Cybertron. Absolutely fuck off. Optimus was completely right when he called you an irresponsible coward for leaving Cybertron in its time of need (paraphrased).

Dai Atlas is just such a fucking bitch lmao. Imagine thinking that pacifism is a magical shield that lets you abandon all responsibility for the society WHOSE CORRUPT GOVERNMENT YOU WERE A PART OF just because “killing is baaaaad and war is baaaaad and if you want to fight to keep your homeland safe you’re a warmongereeeeeerrrrr.”

Fuck Dai Atlas, all my homies hate Dai Atlas.