#all mony will go to art ok

[cuervitodeisla]

I’m literally putting myself in debt to then teach make a printshop in a town in the mountains back home and preserve an aspect of the culture’s history thats dying. 

I want to do a community printshop and give classes with information most ppl only have access too if you go to college in the states. Yes theres good printmaking programs in PR but even the ppl who took them say it doesn’t compare with the resources found in the states.  AND EVERYONE KNOWS HOW EXPENSIVE COLLEGE AND MASTERS PROGRAMS ARE HERE.

IF THIS ISNT A PASSION PROJECT IDK WHAT IS

[dogecreations]

It's okay we both lose this round

@dogecreations threw 30 bucks at me, and now I can't look at myself in the mirror without questioning "am I yiff?"

[bumbl-buzz]

We have many MANY new buddies in our Etsy! Link in bio! Or DM us for more info! All the ones here are our new ones!

We are a small art business meaning all monies from sales go to paying our bills and pampering our cat (who just got a new stroller FYI). We appreciate all likes and shares and comments! Thank y’all!! (Ok shameless plug over)

Prices:

Bats: $45

Manta rays: $35

Ps. The spiderweb bats glow in the dark!

[justabaddreamm]

Nightmares

hi, you can call me dreamy. I live a boring and awful life. I wish I could live in the liminal space that is my brain.

About Me

i describe myself as pansexual and sapphic romantic. i am a 23 year old black girl. pls message me, I’m looking for moots and friends to talk to. what's the point in going insane alone?

(∩｀-´)⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟcarrd

if you like my art, feel free to commission me. all monies will go to my medical bills and getting me out of this god forsaken house.

Everything is ok to rb! I love the attention!

i am pro recovery! (when i don't wanna dye)

Before You Message Me

i may wanna die but i'm also a crybaby. personally what helps me out of an attack is simply letting me know I’ll be okay. even if neither of us believe it. i like to pretend for just a bit.

I like talking about nsfw stuff. If that’s not ur thing we may not be compatible.

This blog is extremely triggering. please read through my carrd to make sure it’s something you believe is worth looking at.

[inkbeanjo]

Ok, questions for Moni 1)What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do? 28) Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? 35)How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? And for the creator- H) What trait of theirs do you admire most?

oh god uhhh 1: Barely any time- it's a small detail in chapter one, but while Spyder is doing recon there's a tab open in Moni's AR feed that's literally just a galaga emulator on pause. the girl is undiagnosed adhd as hell and finds her own enrichment if things are too quiet. 28: Absolutely a lie, she can't even bring herself to tell others simple truths- for her at least, it'd feel hypocritical to ask for simple truths instead of little lies. (totally not gonna be relevant in the not too distant future) 35: She's quick to excite and likes excuses to not be awkward or sad, so 9 times out of 10 she's supportive as hell. if it's technical or niche knowledge, as a HS dropout, she feels like she can only contribute so much conversationally- but to the credit she wouldn't give herself, she's curious enough to pick up info/otherwise learn as conversations go. H) Moni is a major comfort character for me; Growing up, I was/still am a massive fan of Gurren Lagann, as i saw it at a very low point in my life that I really really needed- the idea of someone who could push through anything and everything to achieve something, odds and despair be damned, was utterly foreign to me in my late teens. I attached to it really quickly, and wanted to be someone like that. Real life of course isn't a super mecha anime- and shortly afterward I got hit with a figurative train of additional bullshit that worsened my depression, and afterward was around the time I statted/drew Moni's first iteration (unrelated to the comic, that game kinda pittered out ;;). Just this cocky little barrens rat with a penchant for illegal chrome and destructive weaponry, who kept bouncing back despite getting shot/flamethrowered/electrocuted/stabbed/etc etc her first iteration was ironically far less competent than my second approach years later. When I took a stab at her the second time, I wasn't in much better a spot mental health wise- I wound up making her an inverse of how she'd been originally, a timid as hell and introverted mess liable to snap at relatively common atrocities in the seattle metroplex. I met some friends and played her out further, and things kind of developed from there into some of the later art you've probably seen me post, scarred up and loving every second of close quarters hyperviolence she gets to take part in. This's all set dressing and context. The trait I admire most about her is her persistence, and genuine ability to grow. No matter what bullshit I played her through, no matter what dire stuff she had to work through in personal roleplays or as a consequence of her digging into things that shouldn't be, there were single digit times she ever came close to giving up or throwing in the towel. The idea that someone as flawed and as broken as her could genuinely improve on herself/otherwise reach a point of self actualization makes me hopeful that I could do the same.

[celticcrossanon]

Charles is, I believe, very very fond of Royal Lodge. It was his much beloved Grandmother’s home and he spent many hours there with her. She was probably as strong a figure in his life as his parents were.  She nurtured so many of his gifts for art, music etc. which Philip and his Mother simply were too busy to do. As he so adored her, I believe seeing Andrew allowing it to fall into disrepair and not do anything to maintain much of the renovations necessary, he saw PA would not be able to do much going forward. He probably knew all this and Andrew seemed to be holding the house lease “hostage” over Charles. He attempted to blackmail Charles into restoring his status as a working royal again. Charles would not. He is probably attempting to also say to Charles “Ok the 75 year lease is yours and it will cost you the 12mil. you gave me to pay VG.” The Queen supported PA and gave him $ for much needed funds over the years, now Charles has a chance to restore RL. He will probably keep it in the family. It is laughable that it is alleged that Andrew complained he did not get a distribution from the money the Queen left. He knows most of it goes to the POW as the next King, but there are always modest distributions made in Wills.  Privately, he probably owed her as much as she would have left him, as it has been reported the Q wanted any borrowed monies to be deducted from what $ would be left to her children.

*

Hi Nonny,

I have no idea about King Charles’s relationship with the Royal Lodge, or anything about any private agreements between himself and Prince Andrew, so I can’t comment on that. I know he was close to this grandmother (the Queen Mother). It makes sense for Her Late Majesty to deduct any debts owed to her by her children from any monies she left to them, as otherwise the debt is not repaid, and that is unfair.

[rapmonkive]

Joonie baby ! Why didn't I any news from you lately ? Why do I always need to find information about you on your page ? You're making your mom so worried ah ! Do you work a lot ? Don't overwork yourself, you hear me darling ? I know that you can be so focused on work that you tend to forget to make yourself some food… Do you eat enough ? Don't you want to come back home more often ? I would make you some homemade cooking like in the past when you still lived with your old parents ! Ahh what is your workplace thinking, making you stay away for so long… Ah, I can't weep now… I'm good, your mom is good. Are you free this weekend ? Come back home ok ? It isn't the same when you aren't here anymore…

- Your mom who loves her Joonie baby a lot

Mom! Mom, I'm...I'm sorry. Serving the dark overlord (hybe) has been stressful lately. They really put you to the grind. I've been really busy I haven't been able to make it home with all of the art galleries I've been frequenting and afterparties I've been going to.

In service of finding sin, of course.

I mean, collaborators....collaborators. I am networking to find collaborators.

Mom, I haven't lived at home since I was 15. I'm almost 30 now. I know, you miss Moni. He is in a better place as much as I tried to get him with me. I'll visit so you won't feel so lonely.

This weekend? Yeah...yeah maybe. Will you make Japchae? Your japchae is sinful.

[lilicohirukoma]

Dead Meat Horror Awards liveblog cuz why not

- fuck yeah production budget, love the ghostface intro

- masters of scare-monies lmaooo

- fr the movies this year were sooo good and agreed horror needs more recognition

- i am fucking this cheeseburger UP Chef Slowik would be proud

- yay for the montage, i got lots of movie recs with it last year

- which also means nay for not naming the movies in the montage like they did last year

- but yeah hoping for at least one award for Black Phone, The Menu and Orphan (Nope and X too)

- MICK FOLEY FUCK YEAAAHHH

- damn he lost an ear????

- I don't understand a lot abt stunts so no strong opinions, shout out to all nominees

- admitting to a horror sin: I don't like Scream

- YESSSSS I GOT ONE RIGHTTT

- we are only on the second category and I finished my food 😔 shouldve listened to the guide and gotten some popcorn

- WHAT HAPPENS IN MEN? 😟

- again idk a lot abt digital effects so shout out to all the nominess

- shout out to all the nominees in general it's just that I have stronger opinions on other categories

- I want to watch Werewolf by Night now

- Yup Nope deserved it, didn't consider Gordy as a digital effect so makes sense in hindsight

- JASON AND TOM 💕

- Girl I hauled ass downstairs and back to put away my empty plate. My roommates probably thought I was getting chased by a demon

- I almost voted for X bc Dutch people were involved lol

- Understandable win, congrats Mad God

- YEESSSSSSS DEVON!!!!! CHUCKY NATION REPRESENT!!!!!!

- Are these awards only for movies? If no why no Chucky noms?

- Art the Clown-Bolton

- Is that Pete Davidson?

- Love The Menu but their kills were a bit meh

- But yeah Jeremy vs Star Lasso for me

- DAVE GROHL??? I need to watch Studio 666 now

- Deserved win

- THEY GOT MATTHEW LILLARD????

- Love me a crazy cult leader, wouldn't mind seeing Slowik win

- ESTHER PLS I WANT ESTHER TO WIN

- I voted for Pearl bc she is more likely to win (and would deserve the win) but god please Esther

- Grabber was slay too but not the best of the year imo

- Mia Goth's voice takes me out every time it's so unexpected

- Girl what........ what..... seriously?

- No shade to everyone involved w Art but... what the fuck really?

- Put me in the In Memoriam I'm pissed

- Didn't know some of these people died, for all: Rest in Peace/May their memory be a blessing

- LESLIE JORDAN I MISS YOU SO MUCH

- LANCE REDDING WAS PAPA LEGBA?? I'M SORRY I DIDNT KNOW

- when are we getting a podcast episode on AHS

- oh damn this category is getting tough already

- yeah I'm okay with anyone winning good job y'all

- oh damn we are already 45 minutes in

- congrats Rory

- Ok y'all can make it right give it to Mia

- Barbara Krampton ❤️

- Hearing the word Creepypasta in 2023 snatched my soul out of my body I need a moment

- Oooo I'm gonna have to watch Sissy

- I love Regina Hall so might have to watch Master too

- GET THIS CLOWN OFF MY SCREEN IM STILL MAD AT HIM

- Mia or Amber OR ELSE /j

- I love Keke tho!!

- YESSSS MIA YOURE A STAR

- I am SO curious to see what Jordan Peele is going to do next

- Hope it goes to Ti West tho

- Okay yeah Jordan deserves it too

- We already got this horror needs to be appreciated speech

- Idk of I like this long list of nominees, I find myself losing interest a lot and that is a disservice to the nominees

- Istg if it's Halloween Ends-

- Aren't all of these movies American? Why are they now suddenly mentioning nationalities?

- But yeah Orphan isn't going to win but I want it to

- Pearl's dad deserved better

- Chad's Revenge looks really fun I'm gonna have to watch this one too

- Not Scream Not Scream Not Scream

- ALL THESE MOVIES ARE AMERICAN STOP SAYING AMERICAN FILM

- Oh he did actually stop. My power 💅

- Pearl is just that girl!!

- Love Mike Flanagan 💜

- I hope the Black Phone wins, this movie had me in awe in the cinema

- THE DIRECTOR FOR BODIES IS DUTCH??? NEVERMIND BODIES BODIES BODIES SWEEP

- Yeah idk Fresh just doesn't interest me

- THE MENU FUCK YEAHHH

- Considering Nope won fan I hope it won't win

- DUTCH?? Alright I'll watch Speak No Evil

- Are you.... for real?? Way to end the ceremony on a low note

[self-shipping-dice]

~The Princess, the Knight, and the Mage~

While talking to two of my fellow mutuals/self shipping friends Billie (Doesn’t have a tumblr yet) and Bean (  @buungooinlove ) I realized we have Mario s/is…. So I drew them last night. I quite enjoyed trying to make it in the style as close as I can. Heights are all wrong since I drew them separately before I put them side by side… Whoops.  Rose is Billie’s Mario s/i Natazia is @buungooinlove ‘s s/i And Momo is mine. Commissions are currently open, but I understand that most of us is in a financial situation and monies need to go to important things, but if you still somewhat want to support in a small way, and/or just want to request, I can accept art/writing trades, Keep in mind, that it won’t be first priority if I do get commissions.  Ok to reblog!

[obeymematches]

Hello! I hope you're not swarmed in all the matchup requests lol, but I have to say - they're great! I love how detailed they are and how much work and thought you put into them! It's admirable, to be honest.

But of course I came here for my own matchup lmao. I'm polyamorous so I'm okay with multiple matches (if you want to, ofc).

So, I'm an INTP, aesthetically edgy, nonbinary.... something, ig. I'm a retired weeb that became a kpop stannie and an e-girl/e-boy but I'm still very much a nerd when it comes to entertainment, like video games and stuff.

I've been told that I look intimidating ever since I was a kid and people tend to be lowkey scared of me at first - add to that the fact that I don't talk much with strangers and have a permanent murderous gaze. But once you force your way into befriending me I become a very loyal and chaotic middle school boy with a negative amount of braincells.

I used to be known as a cryptid - never took pictures, never left my room, so quiet you'd never know if I'm currently in the same room as you or not (my friends would call me irl Kuroko - yes, that even applied to when we played basketball in school). But then, one day I decided that I'm bored of being boring and turned into the loud, vulgar, hot friend (according to my friends, again) that you'd book a room with in a closed off apartment complex but then decided to get some kebabs at midnight and then had to climb over the fence once you got back because the gate man has already left for the night. That was not oddly specific at all.

I know that what I'm doing is usually dumb and dangerous and that's exactly why I do it. I'm dumb but I'm not an idiot, y'know? I also have problems with authority lmao. And while I love doing all the dumb stuff with my friends I'm extremely protective and always take the blow or make sure no one gets actually hurt. Self-sacrifice is a personality trait 😌💅✨ Also, I still have a crippling social anxiety but after mastering the art of dissociating I can go out in public!

I'm not a very affectionate person - I don't really like physical affection all that much. I'm cool with hugging, hand holding and cuddling but in moderation. I express my love towards those close to me by doing favours and helping them. You'll also know I like you and am comfortable when I stop with all the "uwu i love u ur so amazing" and start throwing (not genuine) insults around or bully you (affectionately). I'm also straight up emotionally constipated.

There's very few things in life that I take seriously and even less things that I care about in general. Because of that I can seem very apathetic and dishonest. That being said, I *do* have hobbies and interests (hyperfixations, actually), I don't have an artistic soul but I do a lot of different art (drawing, dancing, singing, rapping, makeup, fashion, etc.) - but my heart belongs to the world of linguistics.

I'm quiet pessimistic on the inside but I just implement it into the typical Gen-Z humor and ignore all my (often serious) problems. I prefer keeping a happy, funny, loud persona in front of others - I'm the distraction and mood maker!

I'd want my partner(s) to first and foremost - be my best friend(s). Someone who isn't very emotional and can solve problems with logic and in a calm manner. Someone who'll be happy with us just existing and vibing next to each other.

Also someone who'd wrestle with me. Or at least would let me throw them around a little, lol.

My faves are Levi, Belphie, Beel and Monie but I think I match with the first two better, imo.

Thank you in advance! Hope you're having a great day/night!

----

Hello!

Ahhh thank you for your kind words!!! >w

Okay so I think you are in fact a great match to each of your favourites for a different reason!

So in canon I don’t think there much info about their take on mono/poly relationships. Sure, besides Beel all of the other candidates are known to get jealous easily but like being poly is not cheating lol. I’m not sure if someone already made HCs about this but I think it would take so much time to convince Levi that theres not one, but two (or more) people who actually love him oh god. But I think the others mentioned above would be ok. 

So I decided to match you with Mammon! 

 Okay so when it comes to aes I think you and Mammon would make a matching couple! 

Mammon also plays games from time to time, so you could spend some time gaming together. He is surprisingly good at them! Obviously Levi could relate to your otaku past, but that is the past. 

I think your intimidating exterior would probably give off Lucifer vibes to Mammon at first. This is not something to worry about though - Mammon has a tendency of stealing or using people (he’s not crushing on) + he also looks down on humans. (these are sometimes ignored in the fandom but it’s all canon) So sure he is definitely stronger than you, but I think he would be less likely to pick on you like that if you have a pretty but intimidating face. 

He is also one of the more loyal demons, so you have a priority on the same spot! 

I think he would definitely support your chaotic ideas and steal kebab with you at night. You would annoy his brothers a lot and he would get you into trouble very often! So be prepared for some lectures by Lucifer. 

The fact that you self-sacrafice might end up getting you in danger but Mammon is also protective so it’s just the two of you protecting the other while doing someting silly.

Mamon definitely has many favors to ask for, so it’s nice that you don’t think of that as a turn-off! However make sure he doesn’t use you

 His love language is giving gifts so in return you can expect him to get you something! 

I think he likes affection but definitely not in public and he will deny wanting a hug from you with his life

Okay so the fact that you actually call out your friends when they are being unreasonable is something that comes in handy! Mammon gets bullied a lot by his brothers - sometimes there is no reason, but other times he is not innocent at all. So it would be nice if you could shape his personality a bit! 

I definitely see him with a partner who cares about appearance, so you being into makeup and fashion is a good bonus! He wants to set you off on being a model after all

He is definitely outgoing so you being able to sing and dance are great additional points! He will definitely show you off at some bars so be prepared!

I don’t think he is very fond of linguistics as really the only thing that gets him going is cash. He would probably look up how to make the most out of being a linguistic and he will definitely have a conversation with you about his findings

You two could definitely hit it off as best friends first! I mean he will not confess early, being a tsundere and all.

 Okay so Levi would be better at solving difficult situations logically as he is an admiral at the navy. However there is a reason why Mammon is the second strongest that gets overlooked sometimes! If an issue arises he has ideas to solve them! These are not always very great ideas and they might sound silly but most of the time they work! 

Mammon is definitely the best candidate to play-fight out of the potential candidates!! I imagine him being much stronger than you and giving you a hard time but he is not a sadist at all so he will let you win at the end 

[rapperkookz]

ironman!namjoon

a/n wow ok so this is the start of my avengers!bts headcanons and yuh they all have set in stone story lines but im gonna shake it up a lil bit xD

word count: 2.3k

____________________

kim namjoon

you see

the kim namjoon is a smart kid

child genius if i say so myself

and boy he knew it

no eleven year old chooses to write a paper about hubble’s law of cosmic expansion for a science project instead of making a trifold and using liquid cement

no, namjoon writes a 4-page paper in apa style with a magnificent abstract

he got an A on it of course

his brilliance only goes up from there

and with his rich parents, he has the opportunity-

to which yoongi and seokjin would say “privilege”

but let’s just say “opportunity”

to do incredible research and studies and experiments

his dad has a science lab built just for him in their house

by nineteen, namjoon has taken over a good percentage of his parents’ business

kim enterprises

growing up, namjoon had an idea that his parents’ business was pretty expansive and were involved in many areas

but it wasn’t until he was placed in board meetings at eighteen when he absorbed how powerful his family really was

and sure the business aspect of him was aight, but he loved his lab and would rather leave the negotiating to his mom and dad

you grew up with namjoon, you were also from a wealthy family

your fathers were childhood friends and they grew their businesses together

although kim enterprises surpassed your family’s wealth easily, the bond between your families were still tight

namjoon was stubborn and a smartass

but he wasn’t a jerk, just...very selective with his true self

he’s also a bit spoiled, but with his parents who gave into his every wish, it just turned out that way

at 21, namjoon’s parents got into a plane crash on the way to a meeting in london and it unfortunately claimed their lives

namjoon became the sole CEO and heir of kim enterprises

he asked you for help because damn he couldn’t run a whole business by himself??

and you weren’t needed yet to run your own family business

so you didn’t mind helping out your friend

things were running okay with little kinks in the road, but the business was still thriving and so namjoon was okay with that

until one day when you and namjoon were hanging out in his family mansion and it was broken into

in a crazy haze, you were captured and abducted

namjoon knew they were after him and not you and for the first time in his life:

he had absolutely no idea what to do

he had to find you of course but he didn’t know where to start

namjoon couldn’t tell your parents because they would absolutely kill him for not protecting you

and honestly he wanted to beat himself up too for that fact

thanks to his brilliant mind, he managed to track wherever the fuck you were being held captive

he took his private jet out to a nearby place and did the rest by foot

this was basically a suicide mission and he knew it, but to hell with it

namjoon would exchange his life for yours, you’ve been with him since birth

back to you

you were being held in a cell

your captors needed namjoon to build something for them, but since you weren’t him, you were useless to them

you thought they were going to kill you

but instead they just locked you up

you didn’t expect to see namjoon being pushed into your cell with you

“joon what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I uh...I found you.”

you thought he would have told your dad and then like officers would come and find you

not namjoon, alone.

“did you expect to just walk in and sweet talk them into letting me go?”

he scratched the back of his neck

“for a genius, you’re fucking stupid.”

“okay, truthfully, i thought I could turn myself in and that would convince them to let you go, but i guess they just took both of us haha.”

for weeks you two were held prisoner, your captors taking namjoon in the morning and returning with him at night

you were just stuck in there

but whenever joon came back, he had a new injury to him

your heart hurt whenever you saw him come back, pain all over his face

you would do your best into aiding him, but you didn’t really have much options in the small cell

it was one night when he didn’t come back and your mind automatically assumed that he was dead

you started sobbing in the cell, god you were going crazy

you needed to get out of there

and then when you heard some whimpering and cries of pain, your drive only got bigger bc you knew it was namjoon

you started clanging on the cell and screaming for them to let you go

and then from the corner of your eye, you spotted joon crawling to you, all bloodied up

you gasped spotting the large wound on his chest

but before you could start losing your mind about your best friend was going to die, he calmly started instructing you to build a generator for him

you: joon! I’m not as smart as you, this thing is going to fucking blow up

joon: y/n, calm down and listen to me. you can do this, i believe in you

also joon: connect that wire to the plug...black long thing to red square.

as the hours went on into the night, namjoon sounded weaker and weaker, making you urgent into finishing his little generator

you started holding his hand

“joon, it’s done, okay? it’s done.”

“this is going to hurt like a bitch, but put that generator in my wound. and shove my shirt in my mouth, shut me up with it or we’ll get caught.”

“w-what?”

“just do it y/n!”

you shoved the triangle thing you made (with his help) into his chest and shut your eyes as you basically gagged joon quiet

within minutes he started to get better and you felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders

the last thing you remember before crashing was joon saying “thank you, y/n, now go rest.”

you were awaken by a huge bang

lo and behold, namjoon’s in a tin suit and he blasted your cell open

you could barely register namjoon breaking the roof of your cell and grasping you by the waist and flying you out of there

his tin suit failed him within minutes, the thrusters he built at his feet giving in

but the important thing was that you two made it out and crashlanded in a lake

the place where you were held captive burst into flames

you were founded by your father’s men

(he had some great influence in the army)

and fuck you and joon suffered from one hell of a ptsd

for a while, joon became distant

i mean, could you blame him? y’all got kidnapped and almost died

you tried to reach out but his house security kept denying you

cute side note: namjoon’s jarvis is called moni

“god dammit moni, i just wanna talk to him”

“my apologies miss/sir y/n, master kim doesn’t want any visitors at the moment.”

:(

the next time joon talked to you was months after you two were found, he invited you over to his house and his security system led you straight to his lab

you walked in to see your best friend in a golden technological suit, the triangle generator you helped him make glowing on the torso of his suit

“joon, what the fuck are you doing?”

he sat you down and explained how after your whole kidnapping, he realized that he had a gift 

and he could either be sitting around waiting to be kidnapped again for his mind to be used for the worst

or he could be doing something for the greater good

you honestly couldn’t follow, couldn’t he just use his wealth to donate to charities or something?

but no, he wanted to be proactive and idk be some kind of superhero

“why are you telling me all this?”

“well, not only are you my best friend and we have suffered through hell together...if I happen to die out there, I’m leaving you in charge of kim enterprises.”

“huh die out where? joon you’re not going back there.”

he then told you how he was forced to build weapons while you were kidnapped and how his parents dealt with underground business with terrible people and now it’s come to bite him and kim enterprises in the ass

“i’m going back. If you want, you can stay here and monitor me. moni has complete access to my suit, it is my eyes and ears.”

“god, just...come back, don’t die on me, please.”

you end up watching him complete whatever mission he had for himself

but also how he got his ass beat

you almost missed a pair of boys save him from where he was

they were quick to the eye, dressed all in black, you just remember one with a bow and arrow

fast forward another couple months

joon was safe, thank god, and just doing insane upgrades on his suit and what not

you called him golden boy, but he said that name just didn’t suit him

you see that pun i put there ;)

the two of you were discussing the art exhibit he needed to attend when moni alerted him of visitors

surprise surprise it was the same two boys that you remember saving him, except they were dressed casually this time

“you must be y/n, namjoon hyung’s better half.”

namjoon glared at the boy, “shut up, jimin.”

the other one spoke, “we need you both to come to headquarters.”

“omg I’m not being kidnapped again, am i?”

the three of them laughed

you were told that jimin and the other boy, taehyung, were agents under BTS, a protection initiative created by their boss, Mr. Bang

and now, namjoon was being recruited to be part of that initiative

BTS is a specialized sub-unit to the larger Avengers motion

it put your mind at ease knowing that namjoon wasn’t alone in his whole fighting crime and saving lives ordeal

the media deemed namjoon’s golden suit as “iron man”

and although you personally liked your “golden boy” name better

joon had a complete liking to the other name

you witnessed when they recruited more agents to BTS

namjoon began to have a nice bond with the other boys

and it made you happy, of course, knowing that he had others by his side

but sometimes you couldn’t help but feel as if you were being replaced as his best friend

especially when he and the wakandan king, jung hoseok, became rather close

namjoon first realized his feelings for you when kim seokjin, aka the god of thunder, was flirting with you during one of joon’s house parties

he almost had a fist fight with him

but the other boys held them back from beating each other up

a supersuit vs a god with insane powers? that wasn’t going to end well at all

and so namjoon secretly pined for you

you were still doing business together, but it was mostly you because he was busy now with world saving duties

you were the one to convince him to recruit their youngest and final member to BTS

the spider kid, jeon jungkook

namjoon becomes jungkook’s mentor

and it’s quite endearing

but jk’s also the one to spill to you that namjoon has had the hugest crush on you for the longest time

kid just can’t keep his mouth shut sometimes

all the boys knew that namjoon was basically in love with you

they even helped him come up with this elaborate event of confessing to you

...which all went to hell bc yoongi got triggered and smashed everything

yoongi felt so bad afterwards

but all ended well bc of course you loved namjoon back

he was your best friend and your #1 since day 1

namjoon ends up revealing himself as iron man probably a year after the whole BTS unit was solidified

the press was hell for kim enterprises

which you had to mainly contain :/

but you know he’s a charmer in front of the camera

your parents were a bit iffy when they found out you were dating iron man

but if anyone could take care of you, they knew it would be namjoon

aw im emo

dating your best friend/business partner is a rollercoaster

you’ve had your fair share of heart attack moments, waiting for him after a battle or a mission

namjoon has put his life in danger and will continue to put his life in danger and you’re just going to have to deal with that

he hates that he also puts your life in danger just by association, but you have a lot of protection, courtesy of Mr. Bang

you wear his suit sometimes and try to fly it for fun

he finds you cute

builds you a suit, yourself, but you don’t wear it often

mostly bc you know there’s some weapons included for safety and that scares you a bit

you end up merging businesses with kim enterprises

and run the whole rodeo bc he’s too busy saving the world

but you always keep him updated on what’s happening

he’s become less arrogant after being with the boys and after dating you

but he’s still a smartass

uses kim enterprises’ wealth and resources for the improvement of BTS

it’s pretty useful if you ask me

namjoon becomes the spokesperson for BTS ;)

he and his boys save the world on the regular

but he wouldn’t be saving the world if you didn’t save his world first

u fucking wu

that last part was cheesy but am i sorry about it?

nah

7-6-19

[the-march-hair]

hello ! i was just wondering if you’d have any advice for someone considering setting up/starting commissions for the first time, thanks !

I think everyone has different advice and tactics, so anything I say, others may find me to be completely wrong, this is just my opinion on things. As artists tend to work alone there are as many ways to sell art as there are to make it! This is just what works for me.

Firstly understand that commissions are not a “quick and easy” way to make money if you are just trying to avoid finding a “real job”.

Secondly your followers are just people who like to use the internet, and yes potential future customers, but they owe you nothing. No one has to buy your work. Let them want to buy it because they want it not because you beg them to buy it.

Now I got the kinda negative bit out the way let’s talk business!

1) Create a professional art self on the internet. Whether thats just a tumblr blog where you only post YOUR ART or with the addition of a portfolio or otherwise, build a following of people who like your work and yours alone. Tumblr sideblogs are great, I have about 9 for various things, and I am very very strict with my @fionacreates account hence why I have accounts like this one for silly fanlulz. Some people do get away with shitposting, posting art, politics, fandom squees, asks, and lulz, but tbh I don’t follow a single art account that I like that combines it all.

Different people have different successes with different platforms. Find what works for you. I still use deviantART a lot, despite the shit people give it, because often it’s still where people go to find new people to commission and i’ve had an account for over a decade now,

2) Decide what you are selling. From experience “OMG WILL DRAW ANYTHING FOR CASH MONIES” kinda lends itself to either drawing stuff you hate, or no one hiring you because they dont really know what you sell. If you only love to draw portraits in black and white, don’t sell full body colour pieces.

3) Decide what your time is worth. Look at other artists who draw at your level of both talent and online following for a guide, but also make a decision on what your time is worth. If this is not at least minimum wage for the hours you put into it, don’t sell it. I could write a whole essay on why dirt cheap commissions aren’t a good idea. If you have to put your price high and no one buys it, keep improving, maybe find a non art job for income security. Your mental health will thank you. 

4) Make sure you know what copyright you are selling, and what’s more make sure your clients know. My cheaper “private” commissions are cheap precisely because they are private. They are for the client and the clients private use alone. My commercial work (board games, illustrations etc) cost more because the company that buys them, puts them on a product or uses my art to sell their product. For commercial work never ever do anything without a contract. Definately do your research about this.

5) Take a deposit. For most work I take 50% up front, make the piece and get the second 50% when I completed it, and then I send the finished file.

6) Draw your work printable. That is at 300 dpi. Your client will likely want to print the shiny art they bought!

7) Tell people about it and be very clear how they can contact you. People won’t message if they can’t find your contact details easily! Make sure it’s on your tumblr bio, twitter bio, linked in your sidebar to your commissions info, make it loud and clear you accept paid work!

Going back to an earlier point... do not pressure or expect anyone to buy your work. It sounds utterly heartbreaking to do it all right, get the nice folio, make the nice graphics, advertise on all the right places and get no emails! It may be a false statistic but I read a long time ago only 1 in 100 of your followers are willing to spend money on stuff you make, and that number goes down the more expensive it gets.  Use the time you have no work to make kick ass personal work and continue to share it on your social medias, people like artists who post regularly (even just sketches) and people are more likely to spend money on artists they like.

If you want to sell more full body designs, draw more for fun, show people what kind of thing they could be buying!

8) I don’t know where you are from, but for goodness sake look up your tax laws for self employment. Don’t get into trouble because you didn’t declare you sold some art on the internet.

9) You can say no. If you feel uncomfortable drawing something someone is willing to pay you for, do not draw it! Say no. The money is not worth it.

10) You will make mistakes. You will slip up, or your mental health might do something stupid like stop your working for a bit. I have no answer for this as it has also effected my own work sometimes even though I wish it wouldn’t. But talk to people you love about your work and let them in. An artist usually runs a solo business and that shit gets heavy sometimes. 

11) NEVER WORK FOR EXPOSURE you can expose yourself on twitter far more than anyone offering exposure on their account can give you. If their digital reach is large enough to make a difference to you, they have enough money to pay you. 

And lastly.....

Just.. make art! Make what you love and the people who also love it will find you. Get involved in projects, like zines, talk to other artists on social media, take part in hashtag events (such as #portfolioday was the 9th july on twitter and next on the 9th october). Whether you make money or not if you feel like you are an artist, you are one! Whether someone buys your work or not is not an indication of your ability. Don’t give up, go forth and be an artist.

I certainly don’t want to put you off with anything negative I have brought up, but I don’t want to send you forth with “omg ofc people want to buy your work, you’ll be minted soon!” But if you just go forth and do what you do best, and do try to keep a professional head on your shoulders (and let the artist run wild in the work) you’ll hopefully do ok!

As I said this just my opinion, I may have missed things and other artists who read this may do things differently, but this is just based on my own experience!

PS If you find the secret to rich clients who let you paint what you want... do get in touch.

[thugnan]

Secret of the Scarlet Hand (PC 2002)

Story: 4/10

Characters: 3/10

Puzzles: 3/10

Chores: 4/10

Final Rating: 5/10

I’ve only played this one once and I honestly can’t remember parts of it or the plot. I love that this was the first appearance of Soony Joon, but other than that all the characters fell flat for me. This one took the educational aspects of Treasure in a Royal Tower and multiplied them by 100, in a bad way. This game played more like a Broderbund game, the puzzles were obnoxious and the play through was erratic (not as linear as its predecessors). Some of the chores involved bouncing back and forth a bunch (like the quizzes). I don’t remember there being any glitches though.  

Plot (spoilers obviously)

Thug Nan gets an internship at Beech Hill, a museum hosting a super big exhibit on the Maya. From the get go you get the impression that maybe this museum can’t afford to do this? Thug Nan is like “wait a minute this internship is paid right?” 

They hand you a list of chores and tell you to get on it. They’re preparing for the exhibition of a giant rock monolith. While doing these chores you meet:

Joanna: Your boss as the museum’s curator. She appears a little young to be running the place and slightly desperate to get income into the museum. Low key she cute tho.

Henrik Vander Hoop: He’s fancy and has an accent. He’s a researcher and knows things about glyphs. Not v social for the most part. 

Ale-ale-jandro: I don’t think I was supposed to like this guy tbh, judging from the responses Nancy had for some of his SJW rants, but yo he’s not wrong. I might be biased as we are basically the same person tho. He works with the consulate and appears to have a close relationship with the museum. He hates Johana and Taylor because they’re pirates. 

Taylor Sinclair: I thought he was a lawyer for some reason? He’s an art dealer, and tbh I’m suspicious of him immediately. I think it’s the mustache. Idk what it is about it but I don’t like it. He calls you into his office because he’s concerned that someone is gonna steal from Beech Hill, which heightens my suspicion of him but whatever. 

As we continue to do errands, we get more of a feel for the museum’s financial situation. When you try to order supplies, the distributor tells you that he sent you to collections and to gtfo.

The next morning, you’re in your office when the alarm goes off, someone has stolen a jade relic of King Pacal’s. The cops come and go, you ask Joanna about it and she gives you the a-ok to snoop up in there. She appears to care more about collecting that insurance monies. Suspicious but ok. 

Henrik is apparently also nowhere to be seen? Suspicious but ok. 

Alejandro and Taylor subtly mention that they were both in the building at the time of the robbery. Idk why either of them would incriminate themselves like that? Suspicious but ok. 

You get a call from Franklin Rose, your dad’s friend that hooked you up with the internship. He’s like legally speaking I need u to investigate this. So Thug Nan is like “aw yee, I’ma do it because you told me to, and not because suspicious Taylor told me to.” 

The robbers left a calling card, because you know, all the smart robbers do that right? Also idk how the cops dropped the ball on this one because the culprit’s calling card is A HAND PRINT. I’da been running the show I would just hand printed everyone in the building, and called it a day. 

So you gotta do some more tedious chores, which you only are able to pull of because the wack who had your internship before you left a bunch of drawings as hints. Soony Joon, I’ma tell u now that I think you’re a mad lad, but also thank you for ur service. 

You get in contact with some other folks that were also struck by the thieves who hit Beech Hill. They send you some more clues. 

THEN HENRIK IS YEETED DOWN THE STAIRS (seriously, what is the deal with this series and stair yeeting?) I’m going to say now that the stairs that Henrik fell down were a lot taller than those of El Paso High School, I’m just saying, idk how Henrik didn’t die but ok. 

Homeboy has amnesia. Johana was booted out of the building for mismanaging the museum and being overall suspicious. You and I know what this means right? Time to trespass go thru everyone’s shit. 

Johana was not happy about being booted out, and begs you to prove that she didn’t steal the pacal relic so the cops will let her go and the board will let her back into the building. I don’t really want to do that but I guess.

I made zero effort to talk Franklin into letting her back in whoops 8D. But she can’t say I didn’t call him. 

Meanwhile Henrik’s nurse/therapist hits you up like “yo he kept saying ur name in his sleep so we think it’s a good idea for you to visit. You can help him get his memory back” Yeah? Well remember that I said that he wasn’t v social? I legit know NOTHING about him, especially since his desk is all locked up. Idk why he was saying my name in his delirium but I hope that he knows that I am completely loyal to Frank Hardy  Ned, and if I were to cheat on him it woulda been with my sweet Maddie in Stay Tuned for Danger. I guess I don’t blame Henrik tho, erryone wants a piece of this Thug Nan. What can I say? I live dangerously. (Altho for once I haven’t been attempted murdered) 

While trying to jog Henrik’s memory you find out:

Henrik probably maybe stole the Pacal, but it sounds like he had Taylor logic. He stole it so the real thieves wouldn’t steal it?

He’s in cahoots with smugglers

Alejandro called the cops on Johana, and needs Thug Nan to “borrow” some papers from her. I don’t like the way he went about it but I respect the balls on this man. 

You gotta find like 5 other relics to open the dumb monolith… great. I still don't know why would want to?

Pacal (the real dood not the relic) built the monolith to suffocate a scribe/reporter that was too nosy for her own good. My dood was harsh.

Thug Nan finds the Pacal because well… she had to. And slowly but surely it begins to come together. Tbh the plot to this game was so convoluted, that I wouldn’t have figured out what I had to do without calling Frank and Joe every other second. 

Somehow I gather all the relics I needed to open the damn box, and you know I’m starting to think. If this Pacal guy didn’t want this scribe lady to ever be found why the eff would he make a key to the tomb in the first place? Whatever. I open the box and T A Y L O R  S I N C L A I R LOCKS ME IN THERE WITH A THOUSAND YEAR OLD ROTTING CORPSE.  THIS MAN IS ABOUT TO FEEL THE WRATH OF THUG NAN. 

Anyway, getting out of there was not that hard, my girl the scribe shoulda made more of an effort, but hey she didn’t have a handy dandy glowstick like moi. When I got out Johana, Alejandro, and a recovered Henry were on the other side waiting? Instead of helping me? They were v creepily like “YOU DID IT NANCY WE KNEW YOU WOULD.” Except they used Dr. Seuss rhymes to tell me this which only made it creepier. Also they knew it was Sinclair without me telling them? Which is like cool but WhY DiDnT U StOp hIm. They play it off as “well he stole the fake stuff” THEY LITERALLY HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT.  

Um, the end?

They left a couple of plot holes unresolved I think? Like Henrik having connections with smugglers. Why did he steal the pacal in the first place? What did he know about Taylor? Who pushed him off the pyramid? Or did he really fall? Alejandro seemed to be peachy with Beech Hill after he found out that the Pacal’s papers were legit? And Johana never asked me about the missing papers, she was also let off with a warning? Okie dokes. 

[humansun]

weekend one of joon. keyword: yoh

Written June 6th, 2022 at 12:15AM

A hefty weekend! What was done below:

Listened to Voice Hugs, validated about burnout, learned how similar I am to both Row and Viv, and entered into attachment styles 101

Read at least 10 pages of Loveboat Taipei, we got a good streak going on

Changed oil, want to learn more about car management, smog check reminders for myself, etc

Tested covid negative which is cool but I don’t know if I had it post EDC or not (more likely than not, but rode it out indoors)

Got in a loud dispute with Benz post Cheesecake Factory

Hanging out with Mom and Grandma have a very different ring to it now than it did 6-7 months ago

Making friends is a beautiful process, very thankful for Rebecca for meeting with me and hanging out

It Takes Two is the best two player game, truly

Watched Maika with the whole immediate family, hit Noodle World, Almansor, and played Horse/Parcheesi

Had dinner with Julie before getting back to Canoga Park!

The following thoughts were pondered on below:

God so many things where do I start lol 

I wish people could just go tent on the lake if they wanted to and wake up in the morning while not being fearful of their safety or consequences like in Maika

Posed a question to Moon about what her most memorable part of 2022 is and I had reflected on what my answer would be. I think definitely keeping my peace of mind, meditating frequently, and getting this consistent when it comes to writing on this blog as well as developing a creative story/art in general

Creative liberation can only happen if I give myself the time and space to engage in creativity, imagination, and liberation in it

We will only experience what we are experiencing one time - I will only have yesterday one time and now it has become a loving memory that I’ll have forever. And why I never want to take any of my family and friends for granted

Learning to not play the comparison game does not only apply to me and my accomplishments but also in terms of comparing my friends to other people’s friends/family/romantic partners

I am insanely self-conscious of what people who intimidate me/folks I admire think of me and my actions

Giving myself space to be sad after heartbreak or grief is very very real

Really good one here, hanging out with Rebecca I learned that we can’t just be like “you can totally do it” (not that that’s not entirely false) but it can invalidate a person’s socialization and experience and the trauma they have gone through to not be able to do something. Very transformative

Acknowledging myself as someone who is indeed wise instead of only chasing the label

I love Benny, and it is the most complicated cozy collaborative comfortable romantic love that I have ever experienced

Being myself is my greatest skill

I actually am the sun and refreshing is a great word to describe me

I’ve been put on the Earth to do everything I do and to make the world better if I’d like to think that because I’m just here but I want to do those things because it lowkey just makes me feel good so there is no actual assigned purpose at all

I love my sister so much - she is top five after sleep, meditating, writing, and reading

The whole entire process of transitioning for the rest of 2022 - what does that look like post September? I am figuring all of that out

I’m at the Year 1 of my 10 years, of my 10,000 hours, and I have to do what I want to do so I can continue to prove to myself my capabilities

My nails are still so good this is some well spent monies

Yoh

I think my immune system and stomach are not super strong like when I was a bebe. Its ok tho 

Very grateful. Good night!

[thestudyfeels]

In our last interview, my friend and I talked about what success really means, the three things that you need to get rid of to achieve success, and what you should keep in mind when you’re on the road to success. That's all well and good, but we’re humans and quite a few times we fall short of the fuel needed to do the grind. Sometimes, I would much rather put on my reindeer socks (Christmas is around the corner!) and doze off on the sofa than touch my huge pile of work. And don't get me wrong guys, I love hustling. It's basically what I preach all the time. But just like your car needs petrol to run, you need fuel to work too.That fuel is motivation.

T: It's good to have you back on here, homie. You're quite a sensation on my blog, you know that?

P: Oh, am I now? *sarcastically laughs* I tend to have that effect on people.

T: True, and gotta love your modesty as well. *laughs* Coming back to our topic, motivation. Do you ever feel unmotivated?

P: Oh boy, countless times. I would be lying if I said I don’t. But motivation isn’t just an emotion or a feeling. It’s not a mood, it’s an attitude. It’s not the adrenaline that you feel after listening to an upbeat song or the inspiration that you feel flowing through you after watching a documentary about a successful person. It’s not about eagerness or hype at all.  Even an old man can feel that if you play “Timber” for a few minutes. *laughs*

Motivation is being persistent and conquering your hardest times. It’s about being at the lowest low of your life and even then having the positive outlook that no matter where you are right now, you’re not only gonna get through it, but you’re gonna conquer it. The confidence that no force can stop you, not the slightest doubts, not the haters, nothing. Motivation is about being a winner, not a survivor. It’s like water. It can take the form of whatever situation you’re in. Whether you’re a broke person trying to give a better life to your children, whether you’re an athlete trying to win that race of your life, whether you’re just a student trying to slay that test. Also, it doesn’t matter what unmotivates you, what matters is what motivates you, and most importantly, WHY it does.

T: Hmm… why it keeps you going. Can you elaborate on that?

P: Allow me to quote my friend Dwight D. Eisenhower, “Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it.” Motivation isn’t simply getting someone on their feet. It’s when you already are but feel like you’ve had enough and want to stop. That’s when it tells you to STAY on your feet. It’s what pushes you beyond what you think you go. The only reason motivation works is because you already want it. You just need a power, a support, to keep you on that track. It’s not the motivation that forces you to go on, it’s your DESIRE to go on that does. All the motivation did was remind you of that desire when you wanted to forget it.

T:  You totally changed my perspective, wow. Also, I have a wedgie. Just putting it out there.

P: *Clears throat* Ahem.

T: Um, yeah, next question. So what destroys motivation?

P: Notice how I said “that desire which you wanted to forget”? There’s your answer. We never forget what we want or what the finish line is, we simply lose sight of it. That is what destroys motivation. You WISH to forget that aim, because you’re tired of aiming at it and missing every time. When you give up, when you THINK about giving up, that thought is what destroys your motivation.

Motivation is also just a choice and a chance. You either take it, or you miss it. You let it in, or don’t. Kinda like other people’s opinions. If your favorite song is playing, don’t be afraid to jam out to it, even if you’re in public and you dance like a potato. It doesn’t matter that people are staring. If you let their sneers into your mind, you’ll get embarrassed. But if you let the music fill you and groove to it, you’re gonna have the time of your life while the others are just gonna waste their time judging you.

T: That's a really cool way to put it! Shoutout to all my fellow potatoes out there. We should make our own potato dance. It can be like the harlem shake of 2018.

P: *cough*

T: Oh yeah, motivation. So what do you suppose affects someone’s motivation? Is it your environment or the people surrounding you?

P: Neither. Those are simply excuses that we make up. You can grow up in the worst home possible, but that doesn’t have anything to do with your motivation. There are many successful people in the world to prove that. Sure, what’s going around you does take a toll on you, but that’s a SITUATION.. Situations can’t always be controlled, but how you react to them, can. I live in a very dysfunctional family and my parents have arguments every other day. At first, I let it fill me with negativity. But soon I realized, that was just something that I was letting affect me, because I needed something or someone to put the blame on for me giving up. But the truth is, you can be at the center of the crowd, get lost in it, or get trampled under it. Ouch, I’m horrible at giving examples. It’s not just the situation around you that gets out of control, it’s when you allow yourself to be swept away by it. And that’s exactly the challenge that motivation offers you. “Fight? Or perish.” YOU have control over what stops you and what doesn’t. If you want that goal badly enough, you’ll force your way through that crowd. And the crowd will HAVE to part way.   

T: Ok, story time! Tell us about an incident when you lost your motivation. What helped you regain it?

P: Just last night. I was working out and I had five more exercises left. My legs felt like jelly and I collapsed onto the yoga mat. All these thoughts starting coming into my mind. “Skipping abs won’t do any harm, I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna have a six pack in one day.” “I do have so many chores left to do, and it’s late.” I got up, dragged myself to the bathroom, and stared at myself in the mirror. “Look. That’s your competition. It’s not the exercise that you have to win over. It’s yourself.” I went back and finished that workout and truthfully, I’ve never felt more satisfied. Listen, failure isn’t falling down. It’s refusing to get up. Motivation isn’t getting up. It’s refusing to give up. It’s all a battle with yourself. So what helped me win mine? I reminded myself of MY DESIRE to win it. I reminded myself of how much I want that body, how much I want to feel confident and beautiful in my own right.

There are three types of people in this world. Those who suffer with their imperfections, those who embrace their imperfections, and those who make it a life goal to turn their weaknesses into their strengths, their flaws into their pride, their imperfections into their excellence. The third one is the path I’ve chosen. That goal is my only motivation. Prove your mind wrong. Prove your heart right.

T: *feeling super proud of her homie* Impressive. So what advice do you have for people who want to regain their motivation?

P: You can ask me this question time and again, but the answer will always be the same. And most of you won’t like it because it hits hard. But who said it’s easy? It’s not. Is it worth it? 100 damn percent. So you want motivation? You gotta want it. There are billions of people in this world, and millions of them work to make their dreams come true every day, yet it doesn’t happen. So what makes you so special? Why should YOU have it? Whatever goal you’re working for, do you want it as badly as you want to breathe? Are you ready to have sleepless nights for it? Will you sacrifice anything for it? Don’t stop asking yourself that question until you reach the point where it’s not just about wanting it to happen. It’s about NEEDING for it to happen. THAT is when your motivation will turn into determination. The fire inside you has to burn brighter than the fire around you. *drops mic*

T: Uh, not sure where that came from, but *sniffing* BEAUTIFUL, HOMIE.

P: K, now gimme ma moni. (author’s note: me and my friend, we from da hood. don’t mind us)

T: Huh?

P: *Laughs* Joking, but I could talk about life all day long. Can’t wait for our next interview already! I’m out though, peace conquerors! <3

and that’s a warp for this interview! i hope you are getting something out of these, bc remember you have one life and once chance to become better. and it’s totally up to you. after reading this, you can change for the better or you can wash away these words outta your mind and remain the person you were. it’s your choice.

to the end card it is! if you have any questions/suggestions regarding anything I said up there (or maybe you just wanna talk about food), feel free to send in a message! my other masterposts are here and to request a masterpost, leave your question in my ask box!

I hope you all are well, stay safe and conquer life, you amaze conqueror :“)

[maekkelae]

If The Flu Ain’t Gonna Kill You (about)

See, it's an interesting thing. I suppose psychologically. You live your life as an independent, self-employed touring musician/songwriter and over the years you realize it's possible. You can do it. You don't ever have to ask your government for any whatsoever support. That's because you know there won't be any. Anyway. But you don't mind because things do work out. Not necessarily very brilliantly, but they do. You can pay your rent, you can pay your expenses. All this. No problem. No bigger problem at least usually. But there might be a situation you're not really prepared for. Say, you've got a shit-load of gigs lined up, you're on tour, everything looks as bright as it ever could possibly look like. Things are literally taking off in a good way. And Bang. Here comes a pandemic. A good one. Not one of these baby pandemics. One of the really, really serious bad-ass pandemics. Not good, but OK, it's here. Not much to do about it. So what's happening next? All your shows will be inadvertently cancelled. That makes sense. It's really sensible. Because nobody with a tiny piece of brains left would like to have you travelling all the way to play in front of people, possibly infecting you or YOU possibly infecting THEM with some weird, lethal virus. Next thing happening will be: you're dead serious now you're screwed big time. Oh, and it's not exaggerating, because you indeed are. And now we're going for the interesting, dirty little bits to come up. A recipe for how to feel like a piece of crap. There's not too many ingredients you need to get that tasty dish ready to be served. Let's try to get into the mind of that particular touring musician/songwriter/freelance artist. He doesn't fell particularly well or secure about how his soon to come living conditions are going to look like. Especially how he's going to pay the rent for his flat, his rehearsal room, his energy bills, all this. But. Thank god. There is a government. And authorities. Both of whom he never ever asked for money or funding or whatsoever support. Now they're entering the scene. They're gorgeous. They've got surprisingly interesting new ideas. They discovered their love for all kind of artistic activities. This is the state of Bavaria, Germany, superior to the rest of the country, always been, let's get this straight. We're a culture loving state in Germany. We won't let that slip. We will support our artists. The poor bastards are suffering. They won't survive without help. We'll spend — no joke, mate — a couple of millions of Euros to keep them going. Really, man, we love them. They're so important. There are only two other nationwide industries generating a bigger gross turnover than the entertainment branch. And to be honest it doesn't really hurt to pay them some pocket money as it's anyway taxes paid by themselves. Next thing to happen is: all those important artists get into a most cheerful mood. But, erm, there is still no sign for any money rolling in. Let alone a way to apply for it. It's more a “you can very, very soon apply online for some much needed and deserved funding”. After a time span of eight weeks the artists are getting a bit nervous. I mean most of them don't have any savings. They relied on playing shows to pay their rent. But there are no shows. There won't be shows for a very, very long time as it looks like. Unfortunately the landlords want their money. Tricky, slightly unfortunate situation it is. There are cool landlords who'd skip the rent until there is a chance to earn some cash. But there are as many, if not more, not so very cool landlords. But hey — we're important. They want to have us. They are willing to pay money for us to survive. But still — the money is just not there. And all of a sudden. Here it is. The day the online application form is online. An easy one. Just fill in what you need, up to EUR 5000, or less if you think you'll need less and that's it. Shoot it over and things will go their way. But what's that? A week later there are new details in that very application. Sure you can have that money, BUT you may only use it for your business expenses. That is: office rent, rates on company cars bought, expenses for your facilities... Oooops. Our artist is getting a bit confused. That wasn't the deal, was it? Few days later it says: oh we forgot to tell you this all has to be paid back and you have to prove what you've spent it on. Which is: office rent, rates on company cars.... well, we call it business expenses. Now there is a little issue. Our artist is an independent touring musician. He didn't recently rent that floor in the local business tower for his headquarters office rooms, neither did he buy a brand-new tour van he still has to pay off. But good news: this is now turning into an avalanche of funding monies. There is top-up of another 4000 on offer in national funding from the German government. Wow! So while he's still mulling over this, a few weeks later he all of a sudden receives money. From the government. The arts-loving Bavarians. Not enough to get through a pandemia but something. At least. Plus an email with a detailed catalogue of questions about his monthly expenses in rent, business insurances, health insurance, the whole thing. Including a friendly reminder if he can't properly and honestly answer all these questions he's not only not entitled to get the funding but also puts himself at risk for being prosecuted. This is thin ice now. They'll kick your arse for dodging grants here. Phew! Now this is getting a bit complicated, isn't it? So let's call the hotline. There is a hotline, thank god. And it's a good hotline, a quality hotline as you can expect from a proper arts-loving government. “Good morning sir, I need some help.” “What can I do for you?” “I got money from you guys and at the same time I'm told I'm not entitled to keep it if I can't answer a lot of questions completely new to me. What does that all mean?” “Ah, don't worry. It's OK. The first wave of applications has been just waved through as they're meant as INSTANT CORONA SUPPORT. All those questions are just if you want some extra out of that national pot of subsidies. If you don't need any of that let me know, and we'll cancel this second application you haven't made yet.” “Oh. OK. Let's do that.” Trouble sorted. For now. But. There's always a but, innit? There's a new wave of support rolling in. It's a big new thing. It's particularly for ARTISTS. EUR 3000 in total for three months. Money just handed out to live off. Not refundable. These are good people. They understand what it's all about. Still you need to match some requirements. You have to be a self-employed, independent artist insured in the German KSK. That's the artist health insurance. For those not familiar with it: you have to prove by receipts, reviews and newspaper clips and all that you're really earning your main income as a performing artist. So there's no easy way to sneak in. Once you're in they can be sure you're serious about your intentions to lead your life as an artist. Got that? Yeah, sure. Means the money now ready to be spent on those losers is meant really just for them. No dodging possible. End of the day we're still in the world capital of bureaucracy. Our artist starts getting really aroused. To say the least. Particularly as this new funding thingy is actually not repayable. It's really for staying alive. Buying food, drinks, affording the odd lightbulb if necessary. Know what I mean? All the things he kept on hold. As this whole situation about receiving subsidies turned out to be a very complicated, very confusing thing and the online form is a bit confusing too, our artists decides not to take chances. Rather call the friendly bloke in the hotline again. He has been helpful before, so he'll sure know what to do here. And, thank god, he does. “As these are two totally different schemes you just fill in all the required information, tick the box you haven't applied for money yet — remember, it's a different thing? — and off we go.” Good. Done. Another three weeks passing by with daily checks of the mailbox. And finally — here it is! An official pdf document of the government of Bavaria. You're among the chosen ones. You're a real artist. We will pay you those 3000 so you can survive and keep on doing your little, quirky, important artisty things. Congrats. All good now? Not really. So why's that you may ask? Well, there is nothing happening. At least not on our artist's bank account. Instead, an email arrives two weeks later. Straight from the desk of the lady a few steps further up the ladder from our friendly hotline staff guy. And yes, she's really sorry. It's bad news she's bringing. Unfortunately we have to inform you, you're not entitled to apply for the artist aid scheme. And what about that bit of information these are two different things? Well, you already received money which includes everything we can give you. Ah, got it. So does that mean 3000 out of the received subsidies are non-refundable? No, because these are two different things. Thanks. This, dear reader, is when you realize you better stop wasting time on asking your government for a favour. This is when you finally understand how important you are as an artist in the state of Bavaria, Germany. Should have known better.