#all i'm asking for is miniscule effort

[warthoggz]

Is it just me or are pride parades getting worse year after year?

I'm not talking about any kind of debate as to whether kink belongs at pride or if we need to create a safe space in pride for minors.

The corporations in pride (and probably other parades too) have gotten out of hand. This year there were like two real floats, maybe a few groups had a truck along with them. 90% of the groups that were walking through were just walking holding signs, and it was all corporations, not even actual LGBT organizations!

It's one thing if the LGBT seniors group can't afford to rent a float, that's understandable, they're not for profit. But when the big banks come through and they've just got a bunch of the tellers to volunteer to wear a branded t-shirt with a rainbow on it and that's their whole contribution? I'm talking about the groups that aren't doing anything else whatsoever for the LGBT community.

It would be better for everyone involved if instead of getting a handful of workers to walk in the sun doing nothing interesting and claiming that as their bare minimum support for our community, these corporations could sponsor a non-profit local LGBT organization, then they could have a fun float plus some, the audience gets a better show, and the corporation gets to slap their logo on the side of the float.

At least then when they say "look! we support LGBT rights" it actually looks like they might be doing something.

The bar might be in hell but maybe they could bring it up to the 3rd circle instead of the 9th?

[butch-reidentified]

if you think agp is a thing(and presumably exclusive to trans women) what do you think of cis women claiming to masturbate in front of mirrors and CIA women who report being aroused by breastfeeding?

literally every single answer to these questions is available on my blog. I'm tired of writing the same posts over and over and over. if you can't find sufficient answers scrolling my blog, searching key words on my blog (or on google citing my blog, which yields better results oftentimes), going through the links in my pinned, or checking the tags referenced in my pinned, then I'd say if it's reeeeally important to you to get answers, your best bet will be to sit tight and occasionally check for updates to my Pinned as I am gradually adding more and more links detailing my views, and/or skim my blog from time to time - it's pretty much guaranteed to cycle through again within a month at most 🤷

I was actually gonna put a partial (that is to say, just not my usual thorough, detailed, and nuanced) answer at the beginning, but honestly I'm getting VERY tired of anonymous strangers who most likely just stumbled across my blog for the first time today thinking they're entitled to a personalized thinkpiece from me when almost every time I get an ask like this (which are distinctly different from good faith curiosities, which I'm more than happy to answer), I've already posted my answer, I've already written about the subject in depth on my blog. so I'll put my answer below instead so you have to read all of the above first, so you at least sort of vaguely kinda earn some response by putting in a miniscule fraction of the work/time I've put into both reading/informing myself about all sorts of different opinions, ideologies, experiences, perspectives, and views (rather than just demanding opinions from strangers on anon, lmao) and writing countless posts (& that's just on here, ignoring the offline side which is where I'm wayyy more active), which are almost always VERY long and detailed and proofread and edited and polished several times over.

btw, kind of a side note -- I have NEVER sent a single anon in my life, and I have NEVER, anonymously or not, demanded someone give me a personalized just-for-me explanation of their opinions (or any at all). the reason I call this entitlement is because you (most likely) aren't asking out of genuine curiosity or good faith. you (most likely) are asking because you dislike what you think my views are (you are most likely misinformed and think I believe things I do not) and you (most likely) think this is some kind of gotcha rather than the same ignorant, unoriginal, boring ass points that I've read countless times as far back as when I was a transactivist and trans-identifying myself. they've been debunked/responded to by a LOT of other women, too, and I'm very confident you could easily find at least one such response. I'm not holding you to a standard I don't also hold myself to; in fact, that I'm going to give you any degree of actual answer at all is demonstrative of my holding myself to a HIGHER standard. because again, nothing I'm about to say on this topic is just now in this post being born into the universe as a novel thought. or even a novel tumblr post; like I said, you could find the radfem answers to this ask yourself with just a tiny bit of effort - and while radfems are far from a monolith, and I am a frequent vocal dissenter on a variety of radblr hot topics, this isn't even really a matter of opinion. read on to find out why.

Part A - Not answering the questions here per se, but a clarification of terminology that may help you (any reader, not necessarily anon) see my perspective:

The word "cis" has different definitions. It used to mean someone who is not trans, whereas trans referred to sex-dysphoric transitioners, a demographic who now often prefer terms like transsexual or transsex or simply "sex-dysphoric" BECAUSE they don't agree with gender identity ideology (GII) and object to the way GII has been actively hostile to them and erased transsexuality (and thus their identities, needs, beliefs, and experiences as well), similarly to the ways in which GII engages with pretty much everything that isn't complete and total blind allegiance. These include but are far from limited to:

1. Obfuscating people's (especially children's/young adults' - as they are the primary consumers of most GII content by far) understanding of biology, particularly as it pertains to the sexes of human beings and sexual dimorphism, and inserting "gender identity" as a direct (but importantly not synonymous or remotely parallel) replacement for the material and biological reality of sex. Sex, absent patriarchy and the gender construct, is simply a neutral and factual categorization of human beings: sex categorizes human body types according to the two developmental pathways that evolved solely for the purpose of producing one gamete type or the other to enable perpetuation of the species via sexual reproduction. What this statement does NOT imply to anyone reading it with even an ounce of integrity/intellectual honesty: "women are defined by having babies," "infertile/childfree adult female humans are not women," "humans with anomalous sexual development of any variety are not male or female, but rather a 3rd sex or even proof sex is a spectrum," or anything along these lines; I refer to these arguments as intellectually dishonest because they are originally intentional (disinformation -> misinformation) misinterpretations & serve to moralize, dogmatize, and essentially theologize facts of nature.

This obfuscation of biology is committed via a variety of tactics that frequently include outright gaslighting; "gender and sex are different" turned into "sex is actually a spectrum" (it's not - read on to learn why not!) and then outright science denial while gaslighting others as being the unscientific, uneducated, "3rd grade understanding of biology" ones (again, this is simply factually not true*).

*Feel free to request to see a peer-reviewed neuroscience journal publication bearing my name and/or my thesis (original research regarding the overlapping genetics + epigenetics of norepinephrine dysregulation in both dysautonomia and attention deficit disorders) if you are skeptical of my credentials regarding biology. alternatively, feel free to cite your sources and I will provide a free-of-charge peer review service :)

2. Building from #1, the erasure of patriarchal sex-based oppression of women & girls (by definition: human beings of the female sex, adults & children respectively) via aforementioned tactics obfuscating sex biology & human biology in favor of an innate, internal "gender identity" which is extremely poorly defined with the individual "gender identities" themselves left utterly non-delineated. Gender identity ideology is to be taken entirely on pure faith, despite the fact that there is absolutely no evidence to support gender identity as a universal component of human beings/universal human experience. In fact, the existence of absolutely any nonzero quantity of human beings who do not experience gender identity firmly disproves it as universal human experience - and we know not all humans have a gender identity. However, every human being experiences sexual development, be it typical, disordered (DSDs, congenital infertility, etc), or otherwise anomalous; the vast majority experience typical sexual development, and one's sex is entirely clear in the vast majority of atypical cases as well. Female humans are oppressed on the basis of our biological reproductive capabilities; patriarchy desires control over the female sex as a direct product of its desire to control reproduction. Patriarchy created the gender construct to instill and enforce a caste system between the sexes upholding the patriarchal dogma of male supremacy and female inferiority. Similarly, patriarchy created father-gods in order to make the creation of life a male act. Erasure of sex in favor of the gender construct serves male supremacy and cannot ever be anti-patriarchal or feminist. Evidence of sex based oppression abounds offline (frankly, you need look no further than menstruation stigma in all its forms up to and including menstrual huts, but there is infinitely more evidence) and right here on my blog as well; I even have some posts tagged to serve as proof of sex based oppression.

3. Erasing homosexuality via working toward erasure of exclusive same-sex attraction (this is particularly targeted at lesbians, and this is VERY well documented. I have many examples of this in my TRA Receipts tag, including a particularly excellent masterpost containing, in total iirc THOUSANDS of screenshots), once again replacing sex with "gender identity" as if one's orientation being defined as attraction to another human's invisible, internal, and highly individual "gender identity," which not all humans even purport to have in the first place, could possibly make any sense. This is uniquely absurd.

As stated in the 2nd link in #1 on my Pinned, I object to the usage of "cis" for non-trans-identifying people. Why? At the core of it, because the most commonplace definition of "cis"/'cisgender" that I see at this point in time is "having a gender identity that aligns with what was assigned at birth." As stated above, gender identity is not universal, rendering "cisgender" equally as personal and internal of an identity label as "transgender" - and these are not a pure dichotomy by any means. Radical feminism does not grant any degree of objective factual legitimacy to the gender construct; thus, no radical feminist is or can be, by definition, transgender or cisgender (this does not carry over to whether or not radfems can have dysphoria or even be medically transitioned). Radfems are not the only humans without "gender identities," and it is dishonest and disrespectful to force the term/label onto everyone else according to an ideology we/they may not share.

Part B - The Long-Awaited Answer! [I changed my mind since this ended up significantly longer than initially planned so here ya go]

Autogynephilia was coined as a term with a specific definition. That definition is still the same one in use today. That definition explicitly states that only males can qualify. That definition is: "a paraphilia that describes when a man experiences sexual arousal from the thought of himself as a woman" per Google, and "a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female" per Blanchard's original stated intention for the term he created. Wikipedia goes on to add "intending for the term to refer to 'the full gamut of erotically arousing cross-gender behaviors and fantasies.'"

I have many criticisms of Blanchard himself and of the quality of his research methodologies. However, the evidence for the existence of the paraphilia itself is abundant and undeniable given that many males outright refer to themselves as autogynephiles and many have openly discussed their experiences as someone with this paraphilia. What I do not believe is that all trans-identifying males are AGPs, that there is proven legitimacy to the HSTS/AGP dichotomy (even Blanchard himself said not all OSA trans-identifying males are AGPs - just a whole lot of them), or that non-trans-identifying males can't be AGPs - actually I think it's likely that most AGPs don't identify as transgender.

The core of the paraphilia, the source of the arousal, is a product of the patriarchal sex caste system; autogynephiles are aroused by the idea of themselves as women - as they themselves have stated - because of the sexual objectification of femaleness and/or because they're aroused by degradation and humiliation (as is blatantly obviously on brilliant display in the existence of and obsession with "forced feminization" and similar female-degrading sexual concepts), and the AGP male views femaleness and the gender that patriarchy has forcibly ascribed to femaleness ("femininity") as inferior and thus sees his engagement in performing femininity as degrading - which in turn sexually excites him.

One reason some women find themselves arousing in their own bodies and natural non-performative states is the same as when men find themselves arousing in their own bodies and natural non-performative states: self-confidence increases libido and associations can be made between A and B. Where women and men inevitably differ, however, is about the arousal surrounding performing femininity and/or sexual self-objectification. It is not at all unreasonable to speculate that some women can be turned on when they "feel hot" for a reason other than just self-confidence; for one speculative example, it's possible that some women may see herself in the mirror all dressed up in hypersexualized clothing and feel that they've succeeded in mirroring the pornified images and sexually-appealing-to-males beauty expectations. Ultimately, this is self-objectification. It's patriarchy and the male gaze that have forced these associations onto all of society, and hypersexual associations have a tendency of causing sexual arousal in people (duh).

Oh and I've never heard of women being aroused by breastfeeding, only complaining about it being painful asf, but like. Nipples are among the most common and well-documented non-genital erogenous areas so? This seems terribly unlikely to be a common phenomenon, but utterly irrelevant to the existence of autogynephilia regardless lol. If this is a thing, like I said I doubt it's commonplace at all, but even just hypothetically, I'd say it would distinctly fall in line with everything else I say in this answer. Patriarchy and its pornographers have indeed sexualized breastfeeding - there are a concerning number of men who ask their partners NOT TO BREASTFEED their babies - his own children! - because it makes him JEALOUS and even resent the baby. I'm dead serious you can look this up, it happens. So... read on for elaboration.

I neither know nor care precisely what you're referencing in this ask, because the answer remains the same: autogynephilia by definition can only affect males, and males who have a fetish for the idea of themselves as female, be that through imagining themselves Fucked (anatomically female, specifically in a sexually objectified - aka Fucked - manner; the anatomical/biological form of autogynephilia fetishizes the male subject imagining himself as the female Fucked object of pornography) or Feminine (as discussed above) fundamentally are not and cannot be the same as women who are turned on by feeling like they look sexually appealing or by their own natural anatomy or biological functions (which have been violently hypersexualized by patriarchy). This is a form of internalized misogyny; when men do it, it's just misogyny. These are not the same.

[lorimnnn]

I watched ✨House of WAX✨and YOU BEST BELIEVE I'M POPPING OUT A REVERSE HAREM WITH THE SINCLAIRS ONCE I'M FINISHED WITH THE FICS I PROMISED YOU. ALL OF YOU. YOU'RE FINISHED.

Vincent the voyeur. The second you come into town you can feel eyes on you but you don't know who they belong to, and you can't shake the feeling of being watched. But he's everywhere. He's sneaking peaks at you hiding in plain sight, shuddering as he completes his sketch, pencil moving frantically over every inch of the page. He can't move fast enough.

You're in awe of all the effort he takes into making the wax sculptures and beg to meet the artist himself, and he's scared shitless that the mask will bother you but you're just impressed it's molded so accurately to his face. Let's you touch it and guides your fingers over the contours of his mask, shaking at the miniscule tingles he can feel against his weathered skin.

obviously you're attracted to him

Bo the flirt, of course. The second he sees you he knows you'll be fun. Heat licks up your spine every time he looks at you and it's a burrowing, soul-squirming, slow and steady kind of stare that makes it feel like he's looking at every part of you, not just the parts that they all usually like.

And obviously you're this sweet, shy thing emboldened by his attraction. You can't get enough of it and he can't get enough of you. It really will be a shame to kill you.

All your friends are terrified of the goofy, scraggly driver and kind of dicks to him, and you're frowning and he's feeling his heart stutter at someone finally standing up for him and appreciating him the way he deserves. Lester giggles when you ask him more questions, normal questions, almost like you're trying to get to know him. Calls you a 'pretty thing' and gives you a little pendant made from a squirrels skull for good luck, knowing what lies ahead.

And he's falling all over himself too to be the perfect gentleman. Holding your hand to help you out the truck, the touch lingering a tad too long (he's not extending this gesture to your dick head friends of course) leaning against said truck to talk to you and missing like a complete dork, falling on his face. Embarrassed but it's all worth it when you laugh

and then all three of them when you're still roaming around and you can't find your friends, not knowing they're already dead and you're the only one left. You go to the gas station to ask around and they're all there and pretending they have no idea, smirking at your flustered expression when Bo flirts to redirect the conversation, backing you into Vincent as he does. Now you're a bit intimidated. Why are they cornering you like this? Even Lester isn't doing anything apart from an occasional 'knock it off, eh?" when you're too flustered to speak

Hehe you're in for a ride

Mini rant:

No because immediately what struck me watching it is that Carly and her friends are kind of asses??? Like yes I'm all for character flaws but just being an idiot is basically your death sentence. It was karma. The only one I feel bad for is Paige. Tell me why I had hope that they would deserve to live when it was a bunch of college kids - - - you can never trust them to be protagonists of a horror movie because WHERE IN UR RIGHT MIND DOES IT BECOME ACCEPTABLE TO TRESPASS INTO AN AREA THAT CLEARLY SAYS 'CLOSED' OR KEY A WALL FOR PROOF??? like what if I went to ur house and saw it was locked and was like "oh, that's just a decoration" and to prove your window was real glass I threw a brick at it??? Same energy really Carly's boyfriend had it coming.

p.s. i've started writing a reverse harem novel based on house of wax--- it's gonna be a slow burn that's kind of romantic and has a lot of sexual tension hehe. would any of you be interested if I posted it on ao3, or posted updates here so you know when you can perhaps... buy it? i feel like it's going to be around 150,000 - 200,000 words

[ducktracy]

In anticipation for “The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie”, what are some of the best Porky Pig and Daffy Duck cartoons to watch from the classic shorts and from the new Looney Tunes Cartoons series?

i suppose "all of them" is not an adequate answer, but please know that is my first thought HAHA. there are very few Porky and Daffy shorts that i would tell people NOT to watch

BUT! OH GEEZ..... i guess it depends on what you're looking for. the beautiful thing about these two is that their dynamic is so diverse and varied that there's a little bit of everything to visit, but that can also be troublesome if you don't know what you want!

i genuinely may accidentally just end up listing their entire filmography here. but some of the Porky and Daffy shorts i like best purely in terms of their dynamic would be... Baby Bottleneck i think wins out as my favorite of them all. it has one of the best balances between their friendship/camaraderie that is so unique and earnest to them, but, likewise, has a FANTASTIC rivalry and really illustrates the great clash of personalities between them. Duck Soup to Nuts, while not my #1 favorite, is one of the first i recommend to people because i also think it does a great job of capturing what makes their dynamic so great. they play off of each other really well in that one, especially the "i told ya i was a pig" bit. Porky Pig's Feat i will also beg anyone and everyone to watch, good teamwork effort between the two and has some cute bits of them playing off each other. there's a lot of gold in the little details--i like how horrified Porky looks when Daffy gets slapped or Daffy turning the ear piece of the phone towards Porky at the end so he can listen

My Favorite Duck, Daffy Doodles, Tom Turk and Daffy, You Ought to Be in Pictures, Porky's Last Stand (this one may be more of a "deep cut"--Daffy is still very much in his fledgling stages so i don't know if i'd recommend it to someone who's never seen a Looney Tune before, but it's an undiscovered gem that actually depicts a REALLY fascinating relationship between the two. you can read my review of it to learn more), Daffy Duck Slept Here, Yankee Doodle Daffy, Boobs in the Woods, Fool Coverage, Robin Hood Daffy...

again, i'm very serious when i say the better question is to ask what i WOULDN'T recommend HAHA. i genuinely love every single Porky and Daffy short with the exception of a few bad eggs, and that's because they're either racist or veering towards a depressing decline in studio quality. Scalp Trouble and its """remake""" Slightly Daffy fall into this, as well as China Jones and Corn on the Cop--i hesitate to call Daffy's Inn Trouble good, because it's really not, but i have a weird soft spot for that one that i can't get myself to disavow. likewise, Scalp Trouble, the only worthwhile parts of that cartoon are the Porky and Daffy bits concentrated within the first two minutes of the short i think is salvageable.

AS FOR LTCs! some of my favorites have been Wet Cement, Crumb and Get It, Stained by Me, Practical Jerk, The Case of Porky's Pants, Curse of the Monkeybird, and Firehouse Frenzy. Crumb and Get It, Wet Cement and Stained by Me i sing the praises of most in terms of characterization, especially the first two. i've found those to be a bit more true to the dynamic of the originals than some of the others (which can have a tendency to delve into "Daffy makes Porky's life miserable by being annoying" which is a vast misread of the originals), but all of the above are absolutely worth watching.

SO, ESSENTIALLY, ALL OF THEM HAHAHA. i think even the most miniscule of Porky and Daffy shorts--especially earlier on, when they're the most likely to be overlooked--have something worth watching in them. there is so much to be charmed by and so many different interpretations of their dynamic.

coincidentally, if any of you guys see this and decide to give any of the aforementioned cartoons a watch for the first time, GIMME A SHOUT! i wanna hear your thoughts!!!!!! i always always always have words to say about the pig and duck and there's genuinely nothing more exciting to me than the idea of someone watching these cartoons that i personally have memorized like the back of my hand for the first time. i wanna spread the magic! so if this inspires you to get curious, please don't hesitate to share your thoughts :)

[eldritch-spouse]

hihi, this is socially awkward anon ( now converted to just regular dry anon because i'm more socially inept than awkward and i hated the label i gave myself ) here again for a question regarding not just one but two people this time !

question numero uno, about Jonesy because I love him very dearly and he's just so neat. You said in a previous ask that besides the slight attraction to dominance, he prefers someone who he can " mold ". Does Jonesy gravitate towards meeker people who've had no romantic relationships? Who would end up confessing first? ( miniscule side question, are the circles on his shoulders muscle, shoulder pads, or one of those medieval puffy sleeves ? The last option's funny to imagine for me, in a good way )

last goofy little question ( and this can even be optional if you want ) if we gave Fasma a big old smooch, would some of his goo rub off on us like slime, or is he juuust " solid " enough to leave no residue on our lips ?

Is the sky blue? Is the grass green? Do birds sing in Spring mornings?

Most angels like having some form of control, especially over humans. It's sort of part of their programming. However, casts like warriors ironically tend to be the most submissive, even more so than workers. This is why Belo is a lot more susceptible to folding towards someone more dominant- Wherein Jonesy, someone in the upper echelon of the angel hierarchy, is not so easily bent. (Though let it be known Belo can also adopt this dynamic.)

He absolutely gravitates towards someone he can inflict his own "correct" views upon. He's very much a "fixer" type of person, the throne will gravitate towards someone who's going through real lows just so he can be the light in their life and make sure they take his every word as gospel. A lack of romantic or sexual interaction is, to Jonesy, just another way he can make you an exemplary lesser- By teaching you how to be intimate without being lecherous- Aka, "do sex acts with me only because I'm holy, therefore it's always correct, trust me".

In this case, there isn't really much of a confession, so much so as Jonesy makes several "obvious" pushes in the way you two interact. It's natural that you should hold his hand, of all people. You can trust the throne with your deepest feelings. In fact, if you have to love anyone, it might as well be the celestial that saved you, isn't that right? It makes sense that he should be the one to teach you intimacy and love. It's only natural that you're his.

It's an unspoken sort of thing. By the time either one of you says "I love you", it no longer comes as a shock, because your actions have spoken ten times louder.

[In regards to the outfit, those are puffy sleeves, yes.]

In normal states, Fasma is made of a pretty consistent ectoplasm. The material would cling to your lips for a second or two before easily molding back into shape. Naturally, the more force you exert, the harder it'll cling, but you'd have to put some effort in it to come out with a piece of him.

However, by the time you decide to smooch him, he's probably more than a bit nervous, so he's going to start melting, in which case you definitely get a gross sort of string connecting you two, like hot runny bubblegum. This is intensified when he's drunk.

[cooliogirl101]

So in Fourth Wing, I actually liked Xaden's character for the most part (minus the sex scenes and the last chapter, which I'm just not gonna talk about. I've never seen an author manage to erase character depth by giving them a chapter in their POV before). What I didn't enjoy was Xaden and Violet's relationship-- how so much of the focus was on establishing the drama and physical attraction between them that it forgot to make it fun.

Like, I could care less about Xaden being the dark, handsome, mysterious, broody guy. Let him be that way with everyone else. Violet and Xaden, I want them to shed their masks around each other and not even notice doing it. I want them to make each other feel safe enough to act like the children they never got to be.

"This is unbecoming behavior of you, Riorson. Please release me." Despite her words, Violet's tone was as professional as ever. The only sign of her annoyance was the miniscule twitch of her left eyebrow-- that, as well as the fact that she'd resorted to using his last name. Again.

"You found her?" Imogen grinned.

"It wasn't difficult." Xaden's tone was unbearably smug. Violet had a sudden, inexplicable urge to lean down and bite his hand where it was still holding onto her wrist in an unshakable grip.

She blinked, startled by the impulse. That was unlike her. She wondered if being bonded to two dragons had a bigger impact on her than she'd thought.

Don't blame this on us, Tairn grumbled in her head. Believe me, this is all you, Silver One.

"Found her slacking off in the Archives," Xaden continued. "She was so absorbed in her book, she didn't even notice me approaching."

(In the privacy of her own mind, Violet could perhaps admit to herself that this one was on her. She'd chosen too obvious a hiding place. Still, she wasn't about to say that to him.)

"Something we're going to have go work on," Xaden added, flicking her on the forehead. "Can't have you getting distracted every time you come across a shiny new volume you haven't read before. Why, imagine the disaster if our enemies discovered all they had to do was throw some rare first-edition volume in the air and they'd have a fifty-fifty chance of you diving off your dragon to catch it," he teased.

This time, she wasn't able to catch her impulse in time to stop it. Before she could analyze the potential consequences, she'd already kicked Xaden in the shin as hard as she could.

He let out a satisfying hiss of pain, releasing her from his grip.

"Now who's the unbecoming one?" Xaden asked, eyes bright with amusement. "Assaulting a superior officer? I could have you reported for that."

"'Take advantage of the opportunities your enemy gives you'," Violet recited. "General Katz, Rules of Combat."

"Are we enemies now?" Xaden wondered, placing a hand on his chest in mock hurt. "And here I was trying so hard to keep you alive."

"Anyone who disrupts my scholarly time that I spend analyzing and learning battle strategies to better prepare for the war effort is my enemy," Violet retorted.

"Please," Xaden scoffed. "The last person who needs any help training their intelligence is you. You're scary enough as it is, Violence."

This time, Violet managed to restrain the automatic urge to elbow him, if only because she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of proving him right.

"Don't call me that," she snapped instead. It wasn't even a proper pun, she thought to herself indignantly. If he was going to bastardize her name, he could at least have the decency of using some clever wordplay. This, on the other hand, was just lazy.

"What? Violence?" Xaden blinked, in a manner that would appear innocent, had it not been for the way the corner of his lips kept twitching. "But it suits you so well--"

Violet lunged at him.

It was, objectively speaking, an absolutely horrible attack. It was wild, impulsive, uncalculated, with zero chance of actually working.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much fun.

Violet had just enough time to catch the way Xaden's smirk morphed into a full-fledged grin before he caught her mid-tackle and twisted her until he had her in a fireman's carry.

"Let me go!" She threatened-- or attempted to. The barely suppressed laughter in her voice rather took all the menace out of it.

"Not a chance," Xaden scoffed, humor softening his features until they seemed younger, boyish almost. His body felt very warm against hers. "Let me remind you, you're the one who leapt into my arms, Violet. You can hardly ask me to let you go now."

(Everyone else in the training studio: *determinedly avoiding eye contact*

Rhiannon: How is it that they engage in the worst PDA of the Wing without actually engaging in any PDA. And how is it that neither of them seems to realize it.)

[simply-hyacinth]

This might be too much to ask but could you do an L fanfiction where he finds out the reader has body issues (specifically a shy, female reader) . I have stretch marks, faded s.h. Scars, and on top of that, a face I’m not very proud of. I’ve never had anyone like me in return and i think my appearance might be a reason along with my mental problems so it makes me very insecure 🤣. I just want to know what it’s like to have someone care about me regardless of my insecurities. I probably am not making any sense though

I might revisit this and rewrite it again another time. I was trying to think of how L would react to such a thing, and he seems to be the type to simply dismiss it with a "Well I'm not even dating you for your looks", but that's obviously not the kindest thing to hear, so I tried to rethink it a bit. I apologize if it's messy and not quite what you wanted. Again, I'm not the most wonderful at these, but I do try my best.

You had decided to take the day off to spend it with L. He was so rarely in town that you felt it was best if you were able to make the most of your time with him when he was. Despite your conscious efforts to restrain yourself from asking him about his work and what was causing those awful dark circles underneath his eyes, your facial expressions gave away your silent questions anyways.

“It is nothing to worry about,” He stated simply. “Just a particularly difficult month.”

“Do you need anything?” You asked him quietly.

He shook his head softly. “I would much rather just enjoy my time with you while I can. I should thank you for taking me here, before I forget.”

You had thought it would be nice to have a little picnic with him in the park. The trees were a plethora of vibrant reds and oranges, and you and L were both dressed in hand-knitted sweaters that you may or may not have forced him to wear.

The sleeves of your sweater were long enough to cover up the scars that you feared he would see, and you were careful not to roll them up around him.

After the picnic and a little walk around the park, the two of you headed back to your apartment. The chilly fall air stung your cheeks as you walked, and despite your hand being tucked into L’s, it was still beginning to freeze over.

The warmth from your apartment was a welcome feeling, but one you quickly realized was overbearing in your thicker sweater. L had already taken his off, leaving him in nothing but the plain white shirt he had been wearing when he arrived.

“That’s new.”

“Hmm?” You asked, looking towards where he was pointing. A little framed picture of the two of you - the only picture you had of the both of you - sat on your bookshelf, centered amongst several other little objects. Your face burned with embarrassment. “Oh, sorry.”

“For what?” He mused, walking over to it. “Oh, I remember this day. You tried jelly-filled donuts for the first time.”

That was not how you remembered the day. You recalled staring into the mirror for over an hour, picking at every miniscule detail about yourself, so worried that he would notice all the flaws that you saw in yourself every day.

But, it was the only picture you had with him, so regardless of the memories, it got framed.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m surprised you remembered.”

“I remember every interaction with you.” He responded softly before looking over. “It’s quite warm in here. Is the sweater not making you too hot?”

“I don’t mind.” You lied, very much burning up underneath the heavy material. You shuffled towards the kitchen and tried to change the subject. “Do you want dinner?”

He nodded, regarding you with a look you couldn’t quite decipher.

Throughout the rest of the night, you weren’t quite able to disguise your discomfort as well as you thought you could, even after turning the heat down. You didn’t have any clean long sleeve shirts to change into, so you were stuck with the sweater.

And L - oh, lovely and observable L, had quickly noticed your anxiety, although he did not speak on it until later into the evening.

“Have I made you uncomfortable?”

You turned around swiftly, eyes wide. “No! No, not at all! Why would you think that?”

“You seem terribly nervous, much more than when we were out earlier. I wasn’t sure if I had done something to cause it. I would not have said anything had you not lectured me previously about my lack of communication.” He pressed his thumb to his lips, not quite meeting your eyes as he spoke.

A warm flush bloomed in your cheeks and you couldn’t look at him. “It’s not that. It’s something else.”

“Elaborate?”

“It’s dumb, really.” You said quickly, half waving it away with your hand.

“I can be the judge of that.”

You wrap your arms around yourself, despite the growing heat. “I just…uh, I’m not the biggest fan of how I look I suppose. I wear a lot of sweaters and jackets to cover up what I’m not comfortable with, and I didn’t want you to see anything. Which is stupid, I know,” You cut him off before he can speak. “But you just tend to notice everything, and this was one thing I didn’t want you to.”

L was quiet for a minute, and then he let out a low chuckle, much to your surprise. You stared at him in shock. “Are you laughing at me?”

“Not at all.” He straightened up,something he didn’t do often. “I was not aware that you thought this was something I would care about.”

Your face was burning now, your moment of vulnerability cut through by his reaction. “Well, I mean - wait what?”

He shrugged. “I have had similar thoughts, if I am honest with you. I am certainly not physically appealing - “

“That’s not true at all.” You retorted.

“In that case, would you believe me if I said you were the most beautiful person to me?” His words were casual, so casual that you wondered what kind of conversation you were even having. “To continue to be honest, I never gave much consideration to the way you looked.”

“Wow, okay.”

“Oh? So you like me purely for my body then?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“No!” You said with such force that it sounded more like an insult than you realized. “I mean, no, I liked you for your personality.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “The same holds true for me about you. Which is why you are the most beautiful person to me. I have never met anyone quite like you.”

“You haven’t properly met many women at all.” You muttered. “Wait, go back to that beautiful thing?”

He looked you in the eye now. “Would you believe me if I said that I love you regardless of whatever flaws you may think you have?”

You try not to stutter over your words as you respond. “I - I guess. If you believe the same for me - that I love you despite how you look as well.”

He gave you a delicate little smile. “Thank you.”

You sighed with relief. You knew he wouldn’t have left you for your looks, but hearing him tell you that he loved you no matter what you looked like was a reassurance regardless. 

It also meant that you could take this awfully hot sweater off without worry.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

FFN Might be doing another purge.

Been seeing a lot of shit on my Twitter tl from Antis, because I have mutuals who engage and destroy them on the regular and I got a lovely revelation that someone's fic was removed on FFN cuz it was determined to have violated the rules. This Anti doesn't know why because they claim they are a teenager and they don't write 'disgusting kinky stuff' because they 'aren't a creep'.

And then it's revealed that they wrote a fic about 2 boys, one is 12 and the other is 13. And they in fact, ALMOST had sex but stopped because they're 'too mature' or whatever.

Fact is, this person spends their days on Twitter demanding that everything even remotely sexual be banned from fanfiction and all fandom spaces, that AO3 is evil and needs to be stopped. The whole works. But then they are whining because they legit had minors barely into their pubescence, heavy petting each other and almost having sex. And that content was considered a violation by FFN.

Now, this has shown me two things. 1.) They're a hypocrite but we're not shocked. 2.) FFN is probably doing another purge because regardless of the ages of the characters or the fact that both are male, they still technically didn't have sex in 5he writing so how is it in violation of the rules? IDK all the details about the story and I'm not in the fandom either, but it hardly matters because it seems a bit suspicious.

So I'm gonna monitor some things for a bit.

See if any of these big numbers change.

This is not the first time this week I've seen people claim their fic was removed from FFN. I can't be too sure but it doesn't hurt to watch out.

These are the site Ratings involving things such as kissing, touching, and sex. FFN does not allow MA Rating. That's why so many people migrated to AO3 and other places.

Personally... I've noticed my posted number of fics on FFN is smaller than before. It says 155. I have many fics I've posted on AO3 that would never be posted on FFN because they are too MA for the rules. I also have fics on FFN that I never posted on AO3 cuz the fandom presence for them is miniscule so there would be no point in going through all the effort. But now some are missing and I don't even know which ones.

I have also noticed that my Fav Stories which had over 400 the last time I checked, is down to 326 now.

It's been so long that I don't even know what is gone. I did make a post and asked if anyone else noticed something missing and I got many affirming responses both here and on FFN(which reminded me to turn off PMs which I thought I'd turned off already).

So yeah, there might be another purge on the horizon if it's not already here. If the site goes down for any reason in the coming weeks, it'll practically be confirmation.

[d1ana-m0nd]

╭─► ❝So, I was less right❞

Thoma × GN! Reader || Written by Diana (d1ana-m0nd) || Inspired by Megamind

➢ Fluff && Not Proofread , Oneshot && Word Count 1,606

➢ You've been receiving a lot of presents lately from a secret admirer of yours which leads for you and Thoma to start a bet.

➢ NOTE : I deleted the original post because I genuinely hated this 😭 but now I'm reposting it as a big fuck you to my past self lol. Moreover, I found it kinda unfair that this would only be accessible on my Wattpad account, thus leading me to repost it here 🥲.

"Ugh!" You groaned once your gaze contacted a box that was covered with red wrapping paper and gold ribbons.

You will admit, they beautifully wrapped the gift. It showed that they truly cared about your attention, along with them wanting you to open said gift. You appreciate the effort they went through in the gift's making, but you couldn't help but feel guilty over the fact that they exerted this much effort for someone like you.

"What's up?" A voice questioned from behind you.

Usually an unexpected voice would make you antsy due to, well, their unforeseen arrival but, you knew who that unanticipated voice belonged to. It was from your (only) favorite Mondstadter-Inazuman housekeeper from the Kamisato clan, Thoma.

"The damn' ceiling," You grumbled as your gaze went from the well-dressed box to the ceiling above you.

The male chuckled, then clarified. "I meant with you."

You sighed in response to his question. It's not like you hated it, it's just that he asked you at the wrong time. You couldn't really answer him with all honesty if you were wallowing in self-hatred and guilt over something so miniscule, like a secret admirer and a gift.

"It's the stupid gift, is all."

"Why? Do you not like it?" His curiosity spoke so eagerly, as though it was looking forward to your response. In addition, you felt a sense of dread lacing his voice, despite trying to hide said dread from you.

"It's sweet and all but..." You let out another sigh, as uncertainty washed over your mentally and physically exhausted body. To be honest, you really didn't know how to put your thoughts into words, but you try your best to mush your two remaining brain cells into constructing a sentence that is best suited or somehow close to the thoughts you are trying to convey.

"But?" the blond mused, waiting for your answer's continuation.

"But I feel like they are wasting too much money on someone like me." You admitted, as a tinge of shame pierced through your heart. All because you couldn't believe the fact that someone made this much effort to express their feelings for you, and the fact they wasted their money just to please you.

"Wasting too much money on you?" He repeated, then snorted at the thought of your admission. Not that your admission wasn't valid but, he didn't think you'd think of yourself that lowly. But then again, he should have expected that from someone like you, you've always feared love, the agape love to be exact.

"If they truly admire you, they would be using anything to declare their love for you." Thoma reassured you with that (stupid) familiar warm smile that always made your insides turn from pure euphoria and euphoria overtaking your vessel.

Although you were internally reveling in joy, you would not let the housekeeper know that, so you kept up an act. You gave him a look that said 'really bro?', then said. "I'm pretty sure no one here in Inazuma is as cheesy as you."

"So, I bet you're the one behind this." You jokingly state, but from your peripheral vision you could have sworn you saw him slightly flinch when your eyes landed on his figure. Him flinching made you presume he missed the joke, but you don't comment on it.

"What makes you say so?" He questioned cooly, not missing the fact that he was quick to divert his gaze the moment your eyes met his. Again, you didn't comment on it because you presumed something was on his mind.

"Because you're a cheesy bastard." You jested, to which Thoma rotated his eyes elsewhere.

"Well, whoever sent those to you must be really determined to prove their feelings for you." The housekeeper justified, as the smile that twisted your insides remained on his lips. You swear his smile was enough to kill you, literally and figuratively.

Again, as an attempt to not to smile too much, you put on another act. "Your corniness is making me cringe overload."

"Nah, you're just not a romantic, is all." He hummed, then averted his eyes to the sky from above.

"Sure, old man," You murmured, a smug look gracing your facial features.

You followed his gaze, your eyes widening in awe with the view before you. The ever vibrant blue sky was widening its vastness into the horizon, the cluster of white fluff dispersed in various places, as birds showed off their entitlement to the sky by flying till their heart's content, whilst the quiet whispers of the wind followed, the wind's whispers are barely audible but, they did not fail to calm down your erratic heart beats.

The pair had their eyes on the sky that was beyond their touch. The silence they shared wasn't unsettling but comforting to one another, which goes to show how far their relationship has come; Making small talk to fill in the silence had become irrelevant.

"Let's make a bet." The blond male brought out of nowhere.

"A bet?" You uttered in confusion.

"A bet on who guesses your secret admirer first." Thoma grinned, confidence emitting from his figure and smile.

"Are you seriously telling a detective to rely on luck?" You mused with a look of disbelief and amusement gracing your face.

"Well, as far as I know, detectives rely not only on their intellect but on their luck as well, especially on coincidences or slip-ups the suspects commit. So, in other words, I do, in fact, think detectives rely on both their luck and their intelligence." He politely said, which turned your smile into a crooked one.

"If you're going to prove me wrong, can you not be polite about it? Because I can't retort back to your polite way of speaking." You murmured at him, your eyes avoiding Thoma's amused gaze.

"Well, is that a yes or a no?" He asked, waiting for your response.

"I don't have any cases or files to deal with for today, so yeah, I'll join in on your silly little game." You gave into him with a tired smile settling on your lips.

"But what's the prize?" You asked eagerly.

"If I win, admit you were wrong." He admitted with a confident smile on face. That smile alone said he was confident he'd win.

You raised a brow, as confusion engraved itself onto your face. "Wrong for what?"

"Wrong about the 'detective relying on luck' part," the blond clarified for you.

"If you win," He points a finger in your direction, "I will admit I was in the wrong."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Damn' your prizes are terrible. Why don't you up the stakes a bit?" You insisted, a smug look sprawled onto your features

"If I up the stakes, you'd be on a hospital bed for the next few hotpot games." You stiffen, recalling those close calls when you or Thoma had to be sent to the hospital because of the bizarre food choices you had all consumed.

"Besides, wouldn't a detective be satisfied with finding out the truth already?" He mused, that smug look on his face still present, which you reciprocated with your own.

"Touche, housekeeper, touche." You murmured next to his ear, then walked away to begin your investigation.

Now, Thoma didn't set up any rules for the game, so you were free to investigate who the admirer was and it, technically, was not considered cheating. So, you spent the day exploring Inazuma to track down who the secret admirer is. In the end, the clues you gathered didn't lead anywhere, it only led you to the land of confusion and headaches.

In dismay, you tugged on the housekeeper's sleeve. "I give up."

"I didn't think you would give up that easily. Was it too difficult?" He questioned, a genuine worried look on his face, but, you being unable to admit your own troubles, you kept your lips sealed tight.

"Can't you just tell me who it is?" You diverted the topic from your troubles.

For a moment, the atmosphere was solidly silent. Neither of you spoke, both waiting for the other person to speak first, yet no words were exchanged. You, however, were on the edge of your seat. You were excited to find out the truth but, yet the truth was something you feared to hear.

"It's me." He admitted so nonchalantly with a smile on his face.

As for you, you weren't so nonchalant; you were the opposite, a mess to be exact. No matter how many times you replayed his answer in your head, you felt like you were going through an infinite roller coaster ride with his mere admission. It was something you both can't register and something you refuse to register out of denial. After all, there was a possibility that you were just hallucinating this whole scenario. Hell! it's probably just your imagination!

"Well, it's time for your end of the bargain." He insisted whilst giving you a small nudge.

"Oh right! So, uh, I was less right." You murmured the last part, still flustered over the idea Thoma returned your feelings.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Kindly repeat it, please?" The blond politely teased (I don't know how, but even his teasing sounded polite).

Despite the flustered state, you said it, while not forgetting to cover your face, not wanting to give away anymore embarrassing details. "So, I was less right."

[luveline]

hi jade baby!! here’s a super small (but festive) commentary on your most recent steve fic <3

baby you won me over at the very first line. we love the bf who hates christmas x gf who loves christmas trope <3

Steve has always thought you were pretty, in the same way he thinks that grass is green and stars shine at night.

oh i loved that bit!!! so much!!! stating that he thinks her being pretty is something so obvious as the green grass or shiny stars 🥺🥺 that was lovely!!

STEVIE BEING JEALOUS OF HER LAUGHING AT EDDIES ANTICS!!! he’s so boyfriend

Dorks combined with too much imagination, their gingerbread house has become a sort of macabre scene with a dead gingerbread man outlined in the snow surrounding, and icing stalagmites rise under the roof’s overhang.

shut up i love them i wanna team up with em

Christmas makes Robin squishy, like she's forgotten how shitty the world is

okay me <3

You look pretty, and Steve's not one for dramatics but he wishes he was dead. 

dramatic steve is my favourite steve

When he's with you, Steve feels as though everything — every movement, every moment — is broken down into its finest details. He thinks he could draw your fingerprint if asked, each miniscule line embossed into his skin as you touch him. 

being able to draw her fingerprint as a allusion to paying attention to every small detail. that was sick.

That's all he does, lately. Finds new ways to fall in love with you. 

i don’t have anything to say about that, just wanted to highlight it. also you’re insane ily

stevie LIGHTING UP when he sees the mistletoe IMMEDIATELY followed by eddies voice and the “oh, no” literally christmas romcom material baby that was so funny

AND EDDIE STANDING RIGHT UNDER THE MISTLETOE WITH HER please i should be focusing on steve and you’re making it SO HARD FOR ME

snow falling down during their first kiss!!! literally 90s/early 2000s christmas romcom material (i hope u know im the biggest christmas romcom fan so i mean this as a huge compliment!!!)

The snow — the snow, which had fallen thick and fine as powdered sugar, which you adore, and which makes coming to see you in the days leading up to Christmas near impossible. It's something out of a movie, Steve, seriously, and you need to appreciate what's happening. 

THATS WHAT IM SAYINGGGG

you won't sing, but the small sounds alone are enough to make him want to kiss you (though everything does now). He can't hate Here Comes Santa Claus when you hum along under your breath, lips skipping over the skin of his bicep, your hand scratching a rhythm into his hair.

THOUGH EVERYTHING DOES NOW. sickening. actually insane. the cutest thing I’ve ever read.

Thank little baby Jesus in the manger for Christmas sweaters so you have something to tuck into your skirt, so you have a reason to wear a skirt at all, and a reason to take one off. 

not the little baby jesus in the manger oh my god.

"Merry Christmas," he murmurs. He really, really means it. 

grumpy bf who hates christmas softens after getting with gf who loves christmas has to be my favourite trope <3333

jade my darling my ANGEL i don’t think I’ll ever get over how talented you are!!! the way your writing is so fluid and coherent and so so lovely that makes me picture every little detail you mention like it’s a little movie in my head!! and if this actually was a christmas romcom movie, it’d be the best one!! you’re the best!! i love you!! 💌 - lu

p.s.: you have no idea how upset i was when i realised there’s no mistletoe emoji. please imagine there’s a little mistletoe right at the top of this ask, okay? thank you.

lu spoils me for the one thousandth time 😭😭😭 I love so much to see what parts you liked it's so validating and genuinely such a treat like I know it takes time and effort and I appreciate it so much, I'm glad you liked it! I love you

[hopeymchope]

I am once again asking for an all-new new top-down Zelda adventure.

I am as psyched as anybody for Tears of the Kingdom, so I hope everyone who is playing is having an awesome time today! Happy release day!

....I didn't pre-order it, mind you — because I'm intimidated by it. I'm scared that once I start playing it, I won't be able to STOP playing it for months. So I'm going to hold off until at least after I complete next month's Master Detective Archives: Rain Code. Personal priorities, I guess.

With that said: I want to talk about how nothing feels quite like exploring one of the top-down Zelda games. There's something so very gratifying about those titles that can't be replicated. Finding every single nook and cranny and object. The dungeons regularly reach heights that're so much more elaborate and complicated than they ever managed to be in 3D. You think the water temple in Ocarina of Time was hard? Talk to me after you finish the water temple in Oracle of Ages. It gets legitimately MIND-BENDING.

If you haven't been here, you are not ready.

Those 6.5 titles — The original TLoZ included, but I'm primarily thinking about A Link to the Past, Link's Awakening, Oracle of Ages, Oracle of Seasons, The Minish Cap, and to a lesser extent, A Link Between Worlds — have a charm that I've just never seen successfully replicated. YES, I know we get "Zeldalikes" such as Ittle Dew, Hazelnut Bastille, Reverie, and Mina the Hollower, but let's be real here — "-like" games never quite scratch the itch, do they? We're pining for those characters, those worlds, that EXACT feel. We're not pining to play "voxel guy from 3D Dot Game Heroes." We're pining to play a game as fucking Link and hear those classic music cues You feel me?

(And no, the top-down DS games absolutely did not scratch that itch. Sadly, neither did Cadence of Hyrule, because I deeply and brutally SUCK at Crypt of the Necrodancer. At least Cadence looked neat... feh.)

This DID help, at least. It wasn't 'new', but... it really felt goddamn good. Link's Awakening is an ALL-TIMER.

I would pay Nintendo a ton of money to just... take the Link's Awakening remake engine and make a new friggin' 2D top-down Zelda. I'd pay like $200 for that goddamn game, and I know that sounds insane, but I am HUNGRY. Or, frankly? I'd pay just as much for a version in a retro pixel style. That'd make it take far less resources and effort, right? You could make something with a comparatively far smaller staff, a relatively cheap and shorter development... and yes, I realize most people wouldn't pay as much as I would. Especially not for something retro-styled. But so what? If it's a digital-only title that's relatively cheap, I can still guarantee it makes its development cost back EASY without them ever having to manufacture a physical copy. Because it's THE LEGEND OF ZELDA for god's sake!

(I honestly don't know why Nintendo has never embraced the retro pixel art that is so popular with other companies, because those companies are usually aping THEIR damn games. Seems like something IDEAL for their download-only titles, don't you think? A retro-styled Zelda... or Metroid... or even a retro Mario... or something more obscure that people still love, like another Kid Icarus. You could do any of it, you guys. ANY of it. The money's just waiting for you. You wouldn't even BELIEVE how much.)

Since I know someone is going to ask: Yes, "A Link Between Worlds" is the .5 in the "6.5 titles" I referenced earlier, because its two overworlds are almost entirely identical to a world we've already explored in detail in a previous 2D Zelda game. Like, they're WAY more similar than even the land-based overworlds of BotW vs TotK. The changes are downright miniscule. Giving them a ".5" credit for that seems apt, if not a little generous.

Which basically means I haven't had a delicious full-on brand-new 2D Zelda game since *checks notes* 2005!!!!

And while Minish Cap is easier than the Oracles, I still think it's a banger.

And let's not forget that the two Oracles, The Minish Cap, and even the recent Link's Awakening remake were all outsourced. That means that it would be entirely reasonable for Nintendo to just outsource for a new one. Hire an outside company.

Or, y'know, whatever. You could just... keep remastering the 3D games over and over and only ever make the new fancy VERY DIFFERENT things that take five years and never ever make anything like you used to ever again.

But I really hope that's not all there is to look forward to.

[miss-tc-nova]

The Closing Shift - Vala x Reader

I'm SO SORRY this took so long!!! I have been wracking my brain about this request for WEEKS! I never expected a Vala request to fall into my hands! Honestly, though, I found the right song and then it all kinda hit me. But I hope it's at least a little bit like what you hoped for, anon.

~~~

Premise: Serving a drink to a regular customer before closing

Words: 1,555

Music Inspiration: Still Breathing by Green Day

~~~~~

               Eyes finding the clock, I come to terms with the reality of responsibility. It takes some effort to coerce me from the comfort of my couch, but alas, societal norms dictate that I pretend to be a functioning adult. What a farce.

               Still, I go through the usual routine of pulling on my uniform and scrounging together some pitiful semblance of lunch before heading out the door. It’s much the same when I finally arrive at the homely shop which dares call itself a café. It could actually serve as a storage closet for the unit next door, but I guess they didn’t want to pay for the extra space. With a tiny storage at the back and a miniscule bar at the front, our little place has just enough room to seat some few soulless employees as they wait for their afternoon coffee and ham and cheese croissants before rushing off to their own doldrum lives. C’est la vie.

               The lunch rush comes and goes and my coworker finally clocks out to leave me to my closing shift. Now up to my arms in soapy water and dirty dishes, I hum along to the music from the senile radio in the corner that’s decided not to growl in static all day.

               “Aw, look at you.”

               A soft gasp slips my lips, the glass tumbler making an escape beneath the bubbles. Not entirely eager to test if the water will run red should I reach in, I turn back to the bar.  

               Wire around my heart gives a sharp tug, causing a stutter in my thoughts. There she sits, wearing that all-knowing, demeaning smile, imposing behind sleek glasses. Light shines in long, flowing silver locks like a halo attempting to assuage the mischief her gaze implies.

               But something is off. A hairline cut rests above her eyebrow. A hue of violet mars her soft jawline and a scrape graces her shoulder. In her clothes are tears and stains—a red one on her sleeve leaving me particularly concerned. Even a few strands of hair lie amiss. It’s a wonder I didn’t immediately notice but she certainly isn’t acting any different.

               “Somehow able to make working at a small-time, tedious café look so enjoyable.” Her chin rests atop her hand. “If only you knew the existence outside your small world.”

               This girl—I don’t even know what to say. She’s been a regular of the café for the last few months, always coming in when we’re at our quietest, which usually happens to be when I’m on shift. Clever charm lures me into conversation, often with heckling galore. Though I’ve yet to determine her reason for singling me out, I’d be a liar to deny enjoying her company. Yet, for all her confidence and composure, there’s a hint of something deeper. I’ve never gotten a good look at it, but it feels forbidden so I’ve respected that boundary. Even so, it draws my pity. And I can only assume that it has something to do with her state today.

               I brush off jabs at my naivety. “Are you okay?” I ask, ambling closer. Without missing a beat, my hands fall into line, starting with a mug.

               That subverts her smirk for a second, but only a second. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just a little mishap.”

               “Do you need anything? Like a bandaid or painkillers or something?”

               Her dismissal is light. “No no, I’ll be fine.” Emerald eyes fall to my work, gleaming with hunger. “But I suppose something warm to drink would be nice.”

               Taking her cue, I let a quirk take corner of my mouth. “Oh? Then you’ve certainly come to the right place. And just in time before closing. What’ll you have? Tea? Coffee?”

               Pink lips twist in faux thought. “I don’t know. What do you have on the sweeter side?”

               “A sweet tooth, huh? Well we can mix those up however you like.” I may have embellished pouring the steamed milk a bit to make my point, but her eyes watch with anticipation. “Or we do have juices and milkshakes, but you were looking for something warm, right?”

               “What about hot chocolate?”

               “Hot chocolate?” I reach for the salt and powdered sugar. “Hmm, hot chocolate. No, I don’t think that’s on the menu.”

               “Are you sure?” A slender finger taps at one of the promotional stands. “Says here there’s a special on coffee, tea, and—oh look at that—hot chocolate.”

               “Oooh, that hot chocolate.” Even I can’t contain my smile as I reach for a knife and a fresh bar of white chocolate. “No, you don’t want that. That’s just cocoa powder and hot water. Very bland. Terrible stuff.”

               I never knew I could be so enamored by a simple giggle, but she’s got a grip on that afore mentioned wire.

               “So what kind of hot chocolate would a cocoa aficionado such as yourself recommend?”

               “Aficionado?” Dumping in the chocolate, I give the drink a quick stir. “I think that’s going a bit too far. I simply thought a gorgeous girl like you would be dissatisfied with some cheap chocolate drink.”

               The prettiest shade of pink bleeds across her nose. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

               I let loose a little laughter. A quick flourish of whipped cream and a haphazard sprinkle of the remaining shreds of chocolate top off my creation. With the utmost care, I slide the drink across the counter.

               “For you, I can but humbly offer my best.”

               A thought slithers through my brain at the sight of her first sip, but I shake it away. Instead, the pure, contented smile on those rosy lips as she hums warms my heart. Unlike most clients, who just come for the caffeine fix or quick breakfast, she truly enjoys what I’ve done.

               “Humble seems an ill-suited adjective for something so delightful.” To be praised by her precious words has my pride swelling. “But unlike your ‘bland’ hot chocolate, I know this isn’t on the menu.” She’s got me. “So how did you come up with this?”

               Taking a second to compose my stray thoughts, I give my response some consideration. “Someone taught me when I was little. I used to make these on days when I felt like nothing was right. It never fixed my problems, but at least I knew I still had one small happiness in this world.”

               For once, all deviance leaves her expression and though her eyes are on the sinking remnants of cream, her thoughts are far away. Something I said connected and I’m worried which part that might be.

               My palm rests atop her hand. “Hey.”

               She snaps back to this realm, her eyes finding mine. Lightning traces my spine, leaving goosebumps in its wake as I gaze into her glittering, green eyes.

               I dare not raise above a whisper. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

               That flash of vulnerability vanishes though her smile isn’t quite so honest. “I’m still breathing.”

               “Huh?”

               A hand behind my head nearly drags me across the counter. My special mix of hot chocolate never tasted as good as it does on her lips. The velvet feel has me grasping for every bit I can get, but her coy movements string my heart along like a fox and its prey. Slowly but surely, she’s dragging me under and drowning me with everything I crave. Euphoria floods my lungs, stranding my brain in blissful haze. Whatever she asks is hers, as long as I can get just one more hit.  

               Content in my demise, the end comes as a bitter blow, leaving me a hapless wreck wanting more. Soft, genuine happiness fills her expression. But even as her hands cup my face with so much adoration, I can only see just how weak she is in this moment.

               “I used to pity you for your secluded little life. Now I know that ignorance is bliss and I almost envy you. But more than that, I admire you.” Her thumbs trace gentle circles against my skin. “Thank you, for giving me what I needed.”

               A single tear slips along her face. Then a light kiss presses against my forehead and she sets me free.

               Lost in the chaos of the events, I stand straight. By this time, there are no traces of the weakness she bore, but I know now. The wire in my chest tightens as she gives me her signature smirk.

               “So, what do I owe you?”

               Words don’t immediately present themselves. My thoughts are still racing to sort themselves out. I never knew just how much these short, simple encounters meant to me until she laid everything out on the table and then swept it under the rug—like be exposed to the secrets of the universe and then having to pretend it never happened.

               My head shakes. “It’s on the house.”

               “You sure?”

               The answer rasps in my mouth. “Yeah.”

               “I appreciate it.”

               I watch her stand, straightening her clothes. Just as she starts to turn, she pauses.

               “I’m Vala, by the way.”

               My own voice suddenly feels so foreign, but I give her my name.

               Her eyes light up as if I’ve given her another treat.

               “It’s nice to meet you.” A hand rises to bid goodbye. “I’ll see you around.”

               But I never did see her again.

[hannieween]

So it's been a few days since the chapter has dropped so finally V is coming in with her Thoughts™ (very dangerous, I know. I shouldn't be allowed to formulate sentences on my own):

EEP I'm so excited that bunny and joshie are FINALLY somewhat communicating and that we're seeing that they're making good (ish, bunny still isn't great about talking about her feelings but yeknow who is tbf) on their promises of being more present with each other :3 joshie making sure to text and call and make bunny a priority is 🥹🥹🥹 cause like FUCK he's been all talk so far about how much he loves and cares for bunny etc etc so it's SO SO nice to finally see him own up to his shit and (assumingly long term??) change to be treating his partner better. It's SUCH a miniscule line in the overall chapter, but that little part where it said that Joshua was actually texting and calling every night ;~; like FUCK he cares ;~; he loves his bunny so much ??? he's willing to put in the effort no matter how tired he is BC he loves his bunny and and and (can you tell I have Trauma™ when it comes to men LMFAO)

I read the chapter right before I left for class and *-* that threesome got me THINKING THINGS when I SHOULD be thinking about ECG readings.... PERSONALLY I would've liked to see some smooches between my two favourite boys (in this universe, in reality hannie can't dethrone the soonyoung-seokmin-seungcheol trio that's currently my #2 bias [side note I REALIZE that there's 3 ppl in the #2 slot V but have you considered that I didn't ask for your opinion 😤😤😤]) but yeknow I'll wait patiently for season 2 to come along to see just how the boys will be smooching one another... The boys having done this before with each other is v interesting though, because you can definitely see parts where they fall into their respective "roles" and kind of go into autopilot. A VERY interesting shift from the post nut clarity where they all realize oh shit this was DEFINITELY not just casual sex and things are about to be VERY VERY messy from now on

SPEAKING of the post nut clarity, jeonghan being hurt because there's no feelings*, bunny having an effing panic attack thinking she fumbled the bag and lost jeonghan AND Joshua (honestly, I too, would have a panic attack if I thought I lost my chance with THE Joshua Hong™), shua trying to be brave but being very obviously hurt that the love of his life doesn't JUST love him (speaking of that, I'll be sending a separate ask about the feelings thing I sent way back when and share my Thoughts™ on the matter), honestly kind of fucked up of you to tease us with THIS much drama and be like ^~^ tee hee I'll just move on to other series for now like HELLO ?????? GIRLIE ????????? YOU CANT JUST DO THAT????????? WE NEED TO KNOW WHST HAPPENED WND WE NEED TO KNOW NOW ?????????????????????

Honestly I kind of feel real bad for hannie throughout all of this SHDJJSJEJD you really put him through it this chapter. Him thinking he has one sided feelings, him having a taste of what could never have*, him having to deal with all these feelings solo while bunny and shua have each other to kiss, cuddle and have emotional support sex with, it must fucking SUCK to not only think you've fucked up with this girl you have feelings for AND your best friend all in the same moment. V interested in seeing what's in store and again im SO MAD YOU'RE CHOOSING TO WAIT???? WHAT OF US THAT CAN'T HANDLE DELAYED GRATIFICATION???? WHAT ABOUT THOSE OF US WITH IMPULSE DISORDERS????

BUT ANYWAYS that being said great chapter mwah I loved it and am v excited for more :3

*asterisk because yeknow he doesn't know what he's got in store for him from the god of his universe (you) and he's in Pain™ rn

hi hi beautiful V,

my joshie loves his bunny, yes!! and honestly, sometimes i just think that he has been single for so long that he is learning again what it means to be in a serious relationship, so he's trying hard to keep his promises and stay truthful to his word.

sidenote, yes i can tell that you have a trauma around that but i do to. so come here 🫂

they're going to work their way up to the smooches... they have a lot to figure out first to get there. and, about the boys having done this before... yeah, i failed to mention that they have only done this before and with one another. so 👀

and yeah, bunny having a panic attack is so real of her, because i would be losing my freaking mind too

oh my god now i'm thinking of hannie sitting alone in his hotel room, thinking that he might've just gotten a taste of what it means to be with bunny, being in love with her as he is, and then having to walk away from her 😭😭

why are you like this, why put these thoughts in my head 😭 sniff

i will probably wait like two weeks because haha i have impulsive tendencies too and chapter 1 of season 2 is already 2k words long so.... .. . i might just post it when you least expect it 👀

[sanskosmos]

Day 43 of getting my life together : 13.7.23, Thursday

I'm slowly building myself up again. Trying to enjoy the moment, the food, visiting old games from childhood, finally starting something instead of being frozen in place because of fear.

I've not completely broken out of the vicious cycle honestly but I'm taking every win I can even if miniscule.

Today was mostly good but my mood plummeted in the evening and i cannot tell why. I thought about it but I became so snappy & irritable suddenly. I don't like when I'm like that.

I was thinking the other day that i really want to be kind. I really do. I'm not kind rn I'm just nice but slowly I want to practice being kind, both to myself and others. I have this need inside me to be a better person but am i practicing being one? Is something i should be asking myself more often.

Wanting and wishing is easy right? I always tend to think I'm a better person but am i? I have been unkind in so many situations and i always regret later on. Maybe i could have been kinder, or said or done that differently. And have i made effort to learn anything from those mistakes? I can't tell. I care so much about being perceived but why is that? Am i doing anything to even be perceived better? Not that i should thrive for that for the sake of other people's perception.

If i want to be kind i should do it for my sake. I should do it for kindness's sake.

I also decided the other day that i should accept whatever mistakes and wrongs I've committed with other people, however small or big. What's the point of slowly killing myself with guilt overtime? I think too much, make something out of nothing, remember small things years later to agonize over. & That does nothing but make me suffer & trap me from moving forward. It prevents me from making meaningful connections & being a better friend to my current friends. There's an invisible wall i unconsciously put up because I'm so terrified.

I want to be a friend my friends would be proud to have.

Alright that's all for today. Please wish me strength for tomorrow. Signing off🫡

📺 : Old Fashion Cupcake

[thewhizzyhead]

Or how about we just don’t give the musical about someone emotionally manipulating a family in order to date a girl and getting away with it with no actual consequences a movie and more attention

yeaaa that's one of the many missed swings from dear evan hansen ngl. like tbh i am okay with having evan here be a bit of shitty person because well people in general have a multitude of flaws and they tend to be very very shitty bUT THE IMPORTANT THING IN SHOWCASING VERY FLAWED CHARACTERS IS TO REALLY DRIVE HOME THE FACT THAT THESE ARE FLAWS AND EMPHASIZE THAT THEY ARE A FLAWED AND PROBLEMATIC PERSON. and once that realization has reAAALLY seeped in along with the acknowledgment that yes those shitty actions have hurt a shit ton of people, emphasize the NEED to become better. To be fair, deh does this to an extent but in my opinion they should've like umm gave more screentime to Evan trying to truly better himself if the musical really did want to end on a hopeful note. also, by not letting him go off scotfree (which the musical didnt really do cause personally i think the murphys should've been a lot angrier jtjsjf), the impact of showing Evan trying to a better person would've been greater because like um it would've shown that no matter how many times you fucked up and no matter how you may think of yourself to be "fucked up", there is still always a chance to be better and especially in the case of Evan's battle with anxiety and overall shitty mental health, there will always be chances to START HEALING no matter how deep into the hole you are and no matter how many times you've stumbled and I think that message could've been a lot more emphasized upon if DEH hadn't miss that swing.

So um here's to sincerely hoping that the movie does better in that regard.

[softluci]

gen. writing guide

hi, so, like, if you're a white or light/fair-skinned person who doesn't wear a bonnet to sleep, and you also write y/n or x-reader fics, i am speaking directly to you. i keep  talking about how people don't know how to write inclusively [because it's annoying], but i noticed that i haven't made an effort to create something that might be of help. this is just going to be a general, barely in-depth guide for what to do and what Not to do when writing your x-reader fics, with alternatives to what you probably already do. also!! feel free to add to this or ask me a question if i missed something because this isn’t comprehensive.

to start, i should note that my writing is in no way Spectacular or anything, i just learned how to write without excluding people after so many years of being excluded [albeit unintentionally]. also, this is not a, “let people write how they want,” scenario. if you want to write something wherein anyone can insert themselves, you shouldn't be excluding people because you think your experiences are universal. i'm gonna give all of you the benefit of the doubt by saying i don't think you're being malicious, but i do think you just don't know how to write these types of things properly. 

and by the way:

now let's get started.

conveying emotions via skin

this is a big one; arguably the most common way for a person to fuck up an x-reader, and for a white/fair-skinned author, it’s so miniscule, but to people with darker skin, it stands out about ten times more than you think it would.

do not. do Not. Do Not say anything about your reader’s skin turning red when they’re angry or nervous or embarrassed or feeling any emotion that, to you, warrants a blush. people with darker skin don’t turn beet red, or red at all, actually, and seeing things like, “your face reddened,” is so, so frustrating, especially when the alternatives are so much better. 

let’s say you’re trying to convey anger. if no one is perceiving that anger (if your character is alone), or if you just want to talk about that anger as it pertains to them, the best way to do it is to talk about how it feels. shortness of breath, a quickened heartbeat you can feel in your throat and hear in your ears, heat rushing to your face (this is an especially good substitute for redness), etc. if you want to convey embarrassment, you can do it in a way that’s almost the same as anger, just with a different context. that is to say, you can talk about your reader’s heartbeat and heat rushing to their head/face. literally as long as you do not talk about blushing or skin turning pink/red, it’s fine. 

now, if you’re writing a blushy emotion, and someone else is perceiving it, the best way to do that is to talk about your reader’s outward appearance, albeit there are slight cheat codes for obm because they all have heightened senses and could 100% hear your heartbeat or blood rush. but anyway—pinched eyebrows, narrowed eyes, clenched fists, a change in their demeanor, maybe they’re yelling or look like they’re about to yell, etc. 

if someone else is not only perceiving a blushy emotion, but also causing it and encouraging it (like, teasing, for example), and you want them to comment on it, there are literally so many things you can do. you can have them get close enough to your reader that they can feel their heartbeat/how warm they’re getting, you can have them touch any one of your reader’s pulse points, actually (ex: neck, wrist), you can have them say something like, “why are you so nervous?” or “what’s that face for?” 

the world is your oyster, but for the love of everything that is good, just Don’t Write Your Reader Blushing. thank u.

acts of intimacy w/ hair 

this is another big one that is very miniscule to non-black people, but, again, it sticks out about ten times more than you think it does, and it is one of the biggest ways you can fuck up an x-reader. 

“he tucked your hair behind your ear,” “he ran his hand through your hair,” “he threaded his fingers through your hair,” friend, my hair is type 4, and i wear a bonnet. no he didn’t, and if he tried, it would just piss me awf. 

i understand that, if you’re nb, a person running their hands through your hair or playing with it is a common occurrence and display of affection, but, like i said earlier, your experiences are not universal. so, what’s the best way to avoid making this slip up? pretend every single one of your readers is baldheaded. i’m not even kidding. just don’t ever mention hair. 

some other ways to convey soft intimacy could be having a character play w/ your reader’s hands/fingers, tracing repeated shapes/patterns into their skin, or, if you want, literally just laying with/holding them. there are so many options, just leave hair out of it, and you’ll be better off. 

imagery 

this doesn’t happen nearly as much as the first two, i don’t think, but it still happens a fucking lot, where, like, an author will write something where you know they think their reader is white, and it’s so—like, i can’t even put into words how it makes me feel. just know i hate it. and, of course, this is a small thing for white authors, but it stands out So Much More than you think it does, i promise you.

“your porcelain skin,” “your pale hands,” “your pink lips,” see what i mean? 

i understand wanting to include imagery in your writing, but at the same time, notice how all of those descriptive words are completely unnecessary and add absolutely nothing to anything? it would actually be easier to just Not Include Them. they’re literally just filler words, and if you’re confident enough in your writing skills, you shouldn’t be including them. 

so, what’s the solution here? simply put: don’t. 

cool, thanks, hope this helps, ask questions if u need to ^_^