#all i know is that i was hit with the feels and this is apparently what happens at 1:00AM on my notes app

[alchemistc]

Part One

Oh, I've got plenty to be thankful for

I've got eyes to see with

Ears to hear with

Arms to hug with

Lips to kiss with

Someone to adore

-bing crosby

He keeps waiting for someone to say something. To accuse him of lingering where he doesn't belong, or remind him he'd never actually made it all the way in. To tell him to go home, maybe get a halfhearted promise to let him know how Buck is at some point.

Maddie lays an exhausted head on his shoulder and Bobby sneaks him a slice of pumpkin pie he's apparently been hiding in the tote at his feet. Hen tosses him a power bank with a lightning cord and Karen makes a joke about his holiday attire.

When the coffee comes, Howie takes the trip to the lobby with him, pulls out his wallet and does his damnedest to strong arm Tommy into letting him tip the haggard looking girl another twenty bucks on top of the fifty Tommy'd figured was appropriate for having to balance a literal stack of hot beverages from the parking lot on Thanksgiving. She eyes them both with a smile and Tommy is more compelled the grab the drink carriers from her tired arms than stop Howie.

They're halfway back when Howie purposely slows his pace, and Tommy fights the urge to pick his up and avoid whatever's coming down on him. "So. Was this the wake up call you needed, or can I expect Buck to order a freezer on a Black Friday deal for my garage to store more baked goods?"

He doesn't know what that means.

He can extrapolate, though. "He's been baking?"

"Tommy, I cannot stress enough exactly how much he's been baking."

He'd tried his hand at a few things here and there, but Tommy's used to experimental chef Evan Buckley, not baking Evan Buckley. To be fair, if he'd seen Evan working a KitchenAid, apron tied loose and flour on a cheekbone, Tommy doubts he'd have actually had the time to finish whatever he had planned. That was then, of course.

"What was he doing on that trail, Howie?" That, too, he could maybe extrapolate. He doesn't want to, but he could.

Howie eyes him. Uses his free arm to elbow Tommy in the ribs. "You were the first person he ever invited to a 118 Thanksgiving, you know. My guess? He wasn't in the mood to be reminded of it while there was no room in the oven to bake away his feelings."

Yeah.

Jax had been over the moon when Tommy offered to take his shift, no trades necessary. What would the point have been, when Christmas and New Year's would be unbooked too?

Evan had bribed like six different people to ensure they'd be able to swing dinner on the day. Hobbes had sounded so thrilled to hear Tommy asking for the time off that he'd approved it without even looking at the shift.

"I'm just warning you in advance. The grovelling process is gonna involve eating your weight in loaves, most likely."

And that's that, apparently. No heavy handed warnings, no suspicion about why Tommy hasn't fucked off yet. Like it's some foregone conclusion that Tommy's not gonna panic and bolt a second time. Nothing has changed, yet Tommy gets the feeling they're all expecting some tearful reunion and a return to TommyandBuck.

Tommy slips the tea into Maddie's hands and watches her sniff it in distaste, which is an interesting nugget he'll have to revisit later if -

If.

There's no guarantees, here. That Tommy will be able to articulate how fucking terrified he is, that Evan will understand it. That the two of them will find a way through it together. All he has to go on is a solo hike on a day Evan should have been with family, an apparent bakery full of feelings spread between the 118, and the quiet calm that had washed over him when Eddie prompted him to make a decision.

Feet to the fire, he'd stayed.

---

Maddie's pregnant. It hits him between the eyes right around hour three of sit-and-wait. He's not an idiot, or a fool, and he hasn't spoken to any of these people in weeks so he's not going to announce it to the world, but somewhere in between the sporadic naps on Tommy's shoulder and the way she is attempting (failing) to power through her now cold tea makes him think. She and Bobby had driven here, and it's clear everyone else had been indulging. Maddie's no lush, but he's seen her knock back half a bottle of wine before when she's got nowhere to be.

She excuses herself to the bathroom for a third time, looking a little green, and Tommy ends up locked in a staring contest with Howie that only ends when Tommy mimes zipping his lips.

He still hasn't gotten the story about Eddie and why he's not here.

Bobby and Athena are apparently closing in on a new house.

Howie is less than a year away from having a second kid.

Athena's kids are apparently at Howie and Maddie's, attempting to keep Mara and Jee from destroying the house in the absence of adults.

And Tommy wants.

Wanting has never really been the problem, though. Wanting is the easy part. Wanting doesn't get him over the hurdle of knowing he's not enough. For Evan, for this family he's built that just keeps growing bigger and bigger. It'd been a relief, those first few days after, not to have to wonder which member of the 118 would land in the hospital next, not to have to rearrange something else on his schedule because Evan was convinced he was cursed, or Eddie'd had another shitty call with Christopher.

The relief hadn't lasted. A week in, he'd stayed up all night demolishing the half-bath off his dining room, because he'd been putting it off for months and he'd nearly texted Evan something that was startlingly revealing and left him exposed on all sides. Two weeks in he'd finished grouting the backsplash in his kitchen. And in between, he wondered how Eddie was doing, if he'd made any progress with his son. He'd wondered if Maddie enjoyed the bottle of wine they'd brought back from a spur of the moment trip to Napa. He'd wondered how Nash was doing, if he was readjusting to having his crew and his station back. He wondered how Hen and Karen were, how many things Denny had already gotten stuck in his cast trying to ease an itch.

He'd wondered, and he'd sat in it, and then he'd rewired the shoddy work an electrician had done in his spare room that he kept telling himself he'd get around to.

The wanting never goes away. He just finds new places to put it when he starts to care too much.

"Kinard and Buckley?"

Maddie's still in the restroom. Tommy - has no fucking clue why the nurse is staring at them like they'll just materialize the right people. She sucks in her lips and gives him a dead eyed stare before her eyes dart to his chest. More specifically, the nameplate on his chest.

Tommy blinks.

---

The having is where he's always floundered. Things are temporary. People are temporary. He's always been borrowing. Borrowing time, attention, affection.

For a few months there, he'd really started to think he could handle the having. That he'd get to keep it.

---

"I'm Buckley, he's Kinard," Maddie says from somewhere over his left shoulder, and he turns in time to see her adjusting her jacket, wiping at her lip. She stabilizes, looking unfazed, and stands tall. As tall as she can, at least. "You have news about my brother?"

The nurse glances around the room. No one is bothering to pretend not to be listening. Maddie hovers a wave behind her.

"Ignore the audience, we're all waiting with bated breath to see how obnoxious my brothers going to be. It depends entirely on whether or not he gets pie tonight."

She gives them all a disapproving look. This must not be one of their normal nurses.

Christ. They have normal nurses.

"Well, no pie tonight, but he should be able to eat a sandwich in the morning."

He's fine. He's fine.

Tommy knew going in that most of his injuries were superficial. The ribs had been a concern but with the pain meds and the collar he hadn't really had a chance to exacerbate those injuries. There's no reason he should feel quite so relieved to know that Evan will have a few annoying splints to work around and he'll probably need to rehab his ankle for a couple weeks once it's healed. The concussion isn't ideal, and he'll need help for a few days, but he's fine.

Tommy can feel the tears building.

"He'll likely be out for a few more hours, but I'll let you know when he's set up in a room. Two visitors at a time," she warns. "The concussion will effect his response time. Don't be surprised if he doesn't remember much, loses his train of thought."

Hen shifts somewhere behind him. It feels a bit like she's being held back from correcting the nurse about the normal side effects.

Things move on around him. The nurse leaves, Hen passes a Stanley cup around that definitely isn't filled with water, the normal sigh of relief is released while Maddie drops into the seat next to him with a groan, the team has a strange competition around him to battle for visitor position.

Tommy breathes.

I should go, Tommy thinks to himself, as half the people in the room raise their phones.

His own phone vibrates against his thigh.

A message from Howie, time stamped two minutes - Tommy squints to make sure - two minutes ago, an update on Evan. Another from Eddie reminding them all to give Buck a patent Eddie look from him while they were giving him shit. A selfie of Eddie, with Christopher somewhat reluctantly bending into the picture over his shoulder.

In another thread, he's got three messages from Eddie.

If I have to remove you from this group I'm sending my kid after you with his crutches.

You guys hiked Griffith Park for your Not-A-One-Month-Anniversary-We-Swear date, right?

Send Buck my love. Not like that, though.

Tommy sends back: When the fuck did he add me to his emergency contacts? and then decides he doesn't want to know anyway so he turns off his phone.

---

Maddie goes alone, and Tommy spends the time alternating between tapping his foot against the tile to distraction, and clamping his hand over his knee in an attempt to stop the tapping.

Bobby and Athena go next, then Hen and Karen. Then they're pulling on jackets and promising to save a plate for Buck.

Howie slips away for a few minutes and then returns, looking amused. "You think everyone else got the same greeting?" he asks his wife, who grins tiredly at him, pats his wrist. Her gaze turns to Tommy.

"Should we stay?"

That's a trap of a question. That's an assumption Tommy doesn't have a clue how to handle. He clears his throat. Shakes a few curls loose.

"What makes you think he'd want me to?"

Maddie's perfected the unimpressed eyebrow. It must be a parent thing.

Tommy barely holds in the sigh. "Go enjoy your meal."

---

Evan's been watching the door. It's clear the moment Tommy makes it to the threshold - he presses up, winces, tips sideways just enough to peek around the corner.

"Tommy," he says, and his expression melts.

Tommy's heard some iteration of that name a million times. Tom, from his dad. Tommy, fond and quiet from his mother, who'd never really learned how to speak up before she was gone. Thomas, in school, from teachers annoyed that he wouldn't just apply himself.

He was Kinard, to teammates, then fellow soldiers, to the firefighters he'd worked alongside for a decade before he ever let any of them know him.

No one says his name with quite so much reverence as Evan Buckley. He's convinced himself, over the last few weeks, that he'd been hearing adulation in that tone. But now it just sounds...relieved. Happy.

Evan slumps back and tries to cross his arms in a pout. There are too many cords and wires attached to him for it to work. "I'm pretty sure I'm mad at you," he says, and Tommy steps over the threshold.

---

Hobbes sounds fucking thrilled to find out he's going to be down a pilot for five days.

Evan throws a fit when he finds out Tommy's plan is to sleep on his own couch for the short duration of Evan's stay. Evan wins the proceeding argument and doesn't even complain that Tommy hadn't argued too hard

Bobby brings over enough leftovers to keep them in turkey sandwiches for a week, and Tommy doesn't think to ask how he got Tommy's address.

Tommy breathes. Tommy thinks. Once Evan can hold a train of thought for more than five minutes, Tommy talks.

Evan listens.

---

"So no Christmas," Evan pouts, and Tommy wants to bite it. "And no New Year's."

Tommy shifts a hand over his shoulder, tucks his chin over top of it so he can't see the pout anymore. "We were both already working those anyway."

"Do people do anything to celebrate Presidents Day?"

"Evan."

"Tommy," Evan mocks, and pulls far enough away to catch his gaze. "In the interest of transparency that was mostly a cover so I didn't ask about Valentine's Day."

"Is this you not asking about Valentine's Day?"

His smile is deceptively sweet. "I need help with my sandwich."

Tommy's seen him balancing a glass of water, his phone, two books and a takeout bag in his one good hand. He's absolutely full of shit.

Tommy leans forward to grab the sandwich off Evan's plate for him.

---

"You should stay," Tommy says, an hour after midnight two days into the new year. He's tipsy on his second glass of cheap champagne and he can't think of a reason to keep this in, anymore. Evan crinkles a brow at him.

"I... wasn't planning to go?"

There's a gold crown perched in his curls, and Tommy still hasn't taken the cheap plastic 2025 glasses off. The house is quiet, and there'd been shockingly few fires started by fireworks this year, so he's less tired than he'd expected to be.

"I meant -." Tommy starts, and then pauses. "I meant permanently. You should live here."

Evan laughs. Takes a bite out of his cake, and rolls his eyes, and then...stops. His entire body stills. "What."

It's ridiculous. The very thing that had pushed Tommy up out of his seat just a few months ago, sent him out the loft door with wet eyes and a heaviness in his heart.

"Tommy," Evan prompts, and Tommy catches the hand frozen on the countertop. He'd planned to hold this back, wait until something significant or poignant. But Evan had baked them a red velvet cake and argued with him the entire drive back from dinner about the proper way to fold a towel, and Tommy's tired of denying this isn't everything he's refused to let himself want for decades.

"You don't have to say yes just to confirm you're not breaking up with me," he tries to joke, and it falls flat.

"Tommy," Evan murmurs, quieter but more insistent.

"I'm serious. I want you here. I want -."

"Yes," Evan says, and squeezes his hand before he ducks his head bashfully. "Sorry. Continue."

"I want a life with you." The tears tickle at the back of his throat. He's gonna fucking cry, again. He'd always fucking known opening himself up to this was just an invitation for more tears in his life.

He can't quite convince himself the rest doesn't make them worth it.

"Yes. Again. Tommy, of course." He tips his chin. Purses his lips. "If you're sure."

Tommy swallows down the lump in his throat. He's never been more sure or more terrified of anything in his life. So he tells him so.

The words are like knives, but he works his way through the soreness, fights up past the fear that he's not sure will ever completely go away, and claws past the reminder that it's been a blink of an eye since Tommy walked out on this.

"Well. You can't walk out of your own house," Evan points out when he's finished, and of all things, it's that that snaps the tension of for once in his life prioritizing something other than fucking survival. He tips a grin, curls his elbow to bring their entwined hands to his lips. "It's gonna take years to coordinate another Thanksgiving with everyone," he bemoans, looking suspiciously watery-eyed himself as he holds Tommy's own wet gaze.

Tommy can extrapolate from that.

[chronicsyd]

I'm gonna be so serious, y'all are remembering POWDER and Ekko and not JINX and Ekko when screaming about how much you "wanted Timebomb endgame over Caitvi"

shoving JINX in a relationship with her current mental state is not a good writing choice whatsoever, because Ekko literally had to keep rewinding time because she kept trying to kill herself. If Anything, That relationship would be rushed and fanservice because they would have jumped the gun in 2 episodes vs the 2 seasons it took for Caitvi and showing their ups and downs throughout their whole relationship.

The alternate universe works because Powder doesn't become Jinx and the two don't separate, unlike this universe where the two have been at odds for 7 years and almost kill each other back in Ep 7 of S1.

"But Cait never said sorry!" she didn't really have to, because Vi never stopped being in love with the girl that she Knows Cait is at heart, the Cocktail Molotov scene in Act 2 makes that VERY apparent. Cait saying that she was waiting for Vi to recover to address Jinx is the start of it because Act 1 Cait wouldn't have even Considered doing that, because she was so gung-ho about putting a bullet into Jinx that she Demanded Vi move out of the way for her to do so. She holds herself accountable with the mistakes she's made ("We can't erase our mistakes. None of us." that wasn't just a line targeted at Jinx to prove a point, there's deeper meaning behind it), and moving the guards out of the cell proving that she trusts Vi and her judgment on Jinx is that apology, Caitlyn has always been an "acts of service" kinda person over being a "verbal" kinda person; it's all over the place in S1 but Especially here in S2. But even after she takes Vi's shirt off, you could tell by her eyes and body language that she was most likely going to stop herself again to apologize for hitting her because the wound was in the same spot she initially hit, which was part of the lead up for This wound to even happen, but Vi's the one that just pulls her back in instead.

I'm also gonna add on that Vi thinks she made the wrong choice in trusting Jinx and thinking Jinx's changed because Jinx locked her in the cell and ran away again. So why in the Hell would Vi go chasing after her Again to be met with the same result time and time again? Vi isn't responsible for Jinx's mental health and y'all saying that are just weird. And I think it's apparent that Stillwater probably wasn't even in the top 10 things in her head being with Caitlyn, she was just running wild on emotions that she hasn't allowed herself to feel like-- Ever. And even if it Was Vi probably would have said she wasn't comfortable being in a jail cell of all places.

What was I talking about? Oh right, Timebomb.

Like Yes, it's shitty that Ekko doesn't get a happy ending considering he's the most unproblematic in the entire show. But people tend to forget that at the end of the day, Arcane is a TRADGEDY. It's not She-ra, it's not The Owl House, it wasn't going to be wrapped up in a neat little bow where everyone gets to smile and walk into the sunset with their loved ones, especially considering the fact that this season's being used as build ups to other stories, it's relatively clear that this isn't the last we're going to see of a lot of these characters. When they come back into play? well... who's to say?

But also, let's address that a lot of the Caitvi hate is just straight up homophobia at this point because a lot of people can understand Mel's admission to manipulating Jayce as an apology but Cait's actions we're suddenly braindead and need shit completely spelled out. like good lord I'm so tired of this. Y'all would NEVER have survived Catradora let me tell ya...

(My next post is gonna be a long winded rant about Maddie so stay tuned for that...)

[h0ney-mochi]

Admit it, it's jealousy. (Scaramouche x reader)

# sub!Scaramouche, sub!scara, dom!reader, top!reader, readers gender not specified, can be read as gn!reader, reader gets called mommy though, begging, praise kink, scara gets called puppy a few times

Summary: Scaramouche gets jealous and he doesn't want to admit it. So you make him admit it.

A/n: I'm posting this on Tumblr because not all Tumblr people have seen my ao3, probably! :) It's pretty crazy to think about it... I wrote this in 2022... woah. It had its 2 year anniversary a few days ago. ...I still haven't finished the 2nd part since it's deletion from my old phone. All I have is a snippet.. sigh

You knew it. He was obviously jealous. You were previously speaking with some of your guy friends, having a fun time, because one of them apparently just chowed down on some soap that looked like a food. Scaramouche on the other hand was hanging with some other random people, but you caught his eye. He watched as you were speaking with a smile, all of you laughing, the way your friends smiled at you back. It made him feel weird, he didn't know what it was. But he did not like that feeling.

Now you two were back home. You went to make yourself a simple drink in the kitchen, while Scara slowly followed you. He sat down on a chair by the kitchen island and watched you do your thing. "Do you want some tea as well?" You turned to look at him for a moment. He replied with a simple no, so you continued. You filled the object with water and put it to boil. Scara's mind wandered back to your friends, which made him feel that weird feeling again. You noticed him zoning out. You sat down in front of him and began speaking.

"Are you alright? You seem down," you asked with a small smile. He immediately looked at you. He stared for a moment before replying. "I'm fine, just because I look like something doesn't mean I'm that," he rolled his eyes. You raised an eyebrow, "what's wrong?" "Like you don't know," he snarled. You were confused. "What do you mean?" You asked, trying to think of what has happened today. Scara turned his head back at you, staring right at you, "The way they laughed with you? The way they were smiling at you? Looked like they felt accomplished when they made you laugh." You blinked. Did he mean your friends..?

Wait. You furrowed your brows, "What- you've got that wrong, they're my friends. We've always been like that. One of them told me how he ate soap unknowingly, that was funny!" He just nodded his head, "really?" "Yeah, you know that I'm friendly with everyone!" You spoke, tapping the table. He just looked away, not replying. It was silent, except for the water boiling. Then it hit you. He was jealous.

A smirk slowly went on your face. "Are you.. are you jealous, Scara?" You asked. Surely not. He looked at you. So that was that feeling..? He shook his head and looked away again. "No, I'm fucking not." He replied. You blinked at him. "Oh my god, you're jealous??" You couldn't stop your smirk as you watched him avoid your eyes. "I just said that I'm not, are you deaf?" He grunted, looking the other way. You felt amazing for some reason. You got up from your chair and walked to the other side of the island, where Scara sat. He noticed that and turned his chair towards you. You pointed at him, "that, my man, is called jealousy." He glared at you, "I'm not fucking jealous, idiot!" You glared back, "then why are you mad?" "Because they were laughing with you! Did you see the way they looked at you? They definitely had something in mind!" He shot back at you. Silence again. You stared at him, lidded eyes. He stared back.

"That's jealousy." You mumbled. He wanted to say something back, but didn't. "It's not," he denied, starting to spin back to the kitchen island, but you stopped him. He glared at you again, "what do you want." "You're jealous," you repeated, holding the chair. Scara turned his head away, making an ugh noise. You took his jaw and turned him back to you. He went to take your hand away, but your hand that was preventing him from turning away shot to his wrist, stopping it. You watched his eyes widen.

Now he felt different.

"You're jealous," you whispered, staring into his eyes, "admit it." He was silent. He wanted to move his hand, but you tightened your grip on his wrist. His eyes drifted to the side, away from you. "Look at me, Scara," you immediately said. He looked to the other side. "Scara." You held his jaw a bit tighter, "look at me." You watched his eyes slowly look at you. His expression had softened. There was a moment of silence.

"Good boy," you whispered. That line went straight down his pants. You watched his eyes widen slightly. "Admit it. You're jealous." You spoke again, your grip on his jaw loosening, "It's normal, but you should tell me." His eyes drifted away again as he swallowed and you reacted. "Scaramouche, fucking look at me." You said and he immediately looked back. He felt tingly, he started feeling.. hot. "Speak." You simply said. He blinked, eyes looking away, "Ugh, fine, I-" "Look at me." You interrupted him. Scara felt his dick twitch. He looked at you again, a small blush on his face. "I was jealous-" He whispered. "Scara." "I'm jealous-" he said a bit louder. Silence again. You watched his eyes go away again. You sighed and watched as he looked back at you in a moment. You went closer to his face, going to his ear. "Good boy," you whispered, pressing a kiss to his neck. You took your hands away from him and went to pour water in your cup.

Scara just sat there, his mind repeating your words. He felt his dick twitch again as he breathed out through his nose. You just poured your water, put it away and watched the teabag float up to the top, the usual. You messed with your spoon and then put it down. You turned to Scaramouche. "Are you sure you don't want tea? Maybe you've changed your mind?" You asked. He stared at the ground. How did you change your attitude in a span of a few seconds? "Scara?" You asked again. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out, so he just shook his head. You stared at him. Then it dawned on you.

You quickly went back to him, standing in front of him. He looked at you right away, scared that you'll tell him to speak again. "Oh God, I'm sorry, did I hold your wrist too tight?? Did I say something wrong?? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" you quickly started rambling. Scara stared at you in confusion. "What? No, no, you didn't hurt me- Where the fuck did you get that?" He furrowed his brows. "I don't know, you went quiet??" You shrugged, staring at him. Then he realized that you don't know the effect that your actions had on him. You two stared at each other. You looked away for a moment, then you started to walk back to your tea, but Scara caught your wrist and pulled you back. "Did I do someth-" "Am I really..?" He interrupted you. You looked at him. He was staring somewhere else. "What do you mean?" You asked, standing in front of him again. He took his hand away from your wrist. "What you said previously. Am I really.. you know-" he glanced at you before looking away again. You thought to yourself. Wait.. oh.

Your smirk was back. "Say it." You spoke and watched as Scara bit his lip for a second, turning his head away. "Am I really.. ugh." He felt his cheeks flush. "Come on, I know you can say it," you leaned closer to him. He was getting more anxious. "Am I really a- fuck. Am I really a good boy?" He quickly said, feeling the embarrassment wash over. You laughed a little, your hand going to his jaw. You turned his head towards you, his eyes still not meeting yours. "Look at me, Scara," you simply said, just like before. His eyes meet yours. "Yes," you started, your other hand going to his chest, fingers slowly sliding down, "you are a good boy." You could feel his heartbeat quicken. Nervous eyes staring into yours. "You want me to say it again?" Your fingers stopped at his stomach. He felt his dick twitch again. He blinked at you, glancing away from time to time, but not fully looking away. "Scara, tell me," you asked again. "Please," he whispered, eyes fixating on the ground.

"You'll have to try better than that," your fingers went back to his chest and you watched him look back at you. "No, please-" he repeated a bit louder. You smiled and he glanced away again. "There's no need to be ashamed, it's just us here, you know," you said, tilting your head to the side. Scara rolled his eyes, "Shut up." You pulled him a bit towards you by his jaw, causing him to look at you with a gasp. Your smile was gone. "I thought you wanted to be called a good boy, no?" You blinked at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, again. He just stared. "So you don't want me to call you that? You could have just said that earlier, you know," you looked away, looking bored. "No, please, please-" he started, but you cut him off with a stare. "What? Please what? Tell me." You put your attention on him again. He gulped, forcing himself to stare back at you, "please call me that, please-" "Call you what?" "Please call me a good boy, please, fuck-" He was getting desperate, you could tell. And you wanted to drag him further. "Not with that language," you lidded your eyes again. He exhaled, staring into your eyes intensively. "Please, please call me a good boy, for f- ugh, please," Scara started rambling in embarrassment, "mommy, just call me a good boy, please-"

"What was that?"

It went silent. He watched you slowly smirk as he realized what he said. "I-" he started, but nothing else came out. Fuck. "You want mommy to call you a good boy?" You whispered. He was desperate, nodding immediately, but you held his jaw. "Use your words, Scara." You pointed out. He wanted to curse himself for being so desperate for you. "Yes, please call me a good boy, please, m- ah, mommy-" he quickly spoke, eyes digging into yours. It went silent. His eyebrows were furrowed, face flushed — desperate. You slowly blinked at him. Then you went closer to his ear and spoke to him in a whisper.

"Good boy."

You heard him exhale. Your hand released his jaw. Your other hand went down his chest to the tent in his pants that already had a wet spot at the top. You heard him let out a surprised gasp. You pressed a few kisses on his neck, before pulling away to look at him. Scara's chest was rising while your hand circled his tip through his pants. You watched as his hand went to his mouth, loudly exhaling again. You looked down. You quickly got his pants down to his knees, staring at his boxers that were dark at a certain spot. You then pulled his boxers down just enough for his dick to be out. Scara was starting to feel dizzy, the feeling of his dick being free, your intense stare in his eyes. You quickly took his hand that was by his mouth and pulled it away from his mouth. "Don't do that, got it?" You told him. He quickly nodded. You stared. He licked his lips before responding, "yes, mommy-" You nodded, "Good boy." You noticed his dick twitch at that. It made you feel so powerful.

You let go of his hand, meanwhile your other hand slid down his chest to his thigh. You brought your finger to his tip, circling it, smearing his precum. He made a noise at that, bucking his hips. You took your hand away, looking at him. "If you're going to do that, I won't touch you." You warned. His eyes widened, "please don't, don't do that, please-" You nodded and went back to his dick. You wrapped your hand around and started to slowly slide it up, then back down, coating his dick with some precum. He whined, "please, please-" "Be patient, puppy," you responded, not removing your eyes from his dick. Slowly you picked up the pace. Then you looked at him. His eyes were shut, there was drool starting to slide down his chin. "Scara, look at me, open your eyes," you commanded. He slowly opened his eyes to look at you. You made eye contact. Fuck, he looked so submissive. You increased the speed, jerking his dick quicker, starting to make wet sounds from his precum. He moaned, head going back, more broken moans falling from his mouth.

"Scara, I told you to look at me," you reminded. He lifted his head back up, trying to look back at you. You giggled, "Good boy. Tell me how it feels, won't you?" Sweat was appearing on his skin, drool out his mouth. He started to speak, but that's when you started jerking around his tip. He moaned louder, tears starting to prick at his eyes. "Come on, tell me how good it feels," you whisper. "A-ah- f-feels good, fuck-! Oh my god, fuck, it feelssogood fuck, mommy-" Scara tried his best, but fuck did it feel good. You went closer, pressing your lips against his, indulging him in a kiss. His hands immediately clutched at your shirt while you drunk his moans. Your hand sped up, focusing on his whole shaft. More precum went down, making even more wet noises. You pushed your tongue against his, he kissed back messy. Then, you heard his moans becoming quicker, his hands clutching you tighter.

You pulled away from the kiss, licking your lips, staring down at him. "Gonna cum, puppy?" You asked and he nodded, staring up at you. Your hand started slowing down as you raised your eyebrow. He whined, "no, please, I'm close, please don't slow down, pleasepleaseplease-" "That's right, good boy," you went quicker, staring at his ruined state. His head fell back and his moans increased in volume. You could hear him say 'please' multiple times in a row. Then his head came back, looking into your eyes, begging you to not stop. You looked down at his dick, then looked back at him. You leaned into his neck to press a few kisses, while Scara placed his head on your shoulder, his hands going to your back, gripping the material again. "I'm- I'm gonnacum, a-ah, fuck fuck, I'm gonna cum I'mgonnacum please-" His breathing was heavy. "Then cum, go on," you whispered, "be a good boy and cum for me." That was the final push.

A loud moan went through his throat as he came. You looked down, watching his cum stain his shirt, drop on your hand, slide down to his thighs. After a few seconds, you started slowing your hand down. You could feel him shake, his breathing heavy again. Then your hand stopped. You kissed his neck while he breathed in your shoulder, calming down. Scara's head was spinning, he felt like he might pass out. Drool and tears had stained your shirt a bit. After a minute you felt him release your shirt. You pulled away, taking your hand away too. You looked at Scara. His eyes were unfocused, mouth still open, face hot, drool and tears. He looked so pretty, so ruined — it made you feel powerful, how you managed to somehow get him like this.

You broke the silence, asking, "Scara, are you alright?" You watched as he looked at you. "..I'm okay." He finally said, blinking at you. You smiled slightly, rubbing a few of his tears away with your clean hand. He was silent, staring at you. You stood up straight and looked at your other hand. You licked a bit off from your fingers, swallowing down. Scara stared, eyes slightly widening. No way he found that hot. "Alright, I'll get some tissues, wait here," you quickly said and walked to the bathroom. You washed your hands first.

Scara was zoning out, thinking of what the fuck just happened. He can't believe that he got so damn desperate for you, that he let that name slip out. He shook his head, looking down at himself. Yeah, he'll have to put this in the wash for sure. Then he heard noise, turning his head to it. You walked in with tissues and a slightly wet towel. You put down the towel on the island and took a few tissues. You took Scara's chin, holding his head up. With your other hand, you cleaned away his drool and a few wet tears. He couldn't stop staring at you. You noticed and just smiled at him.

Then you took your hand away from his jaw, looking down at his dick. You pushed his boxers a bit more away and cleaned the cum off his thighs with the tissue. Then you took another one, continuing to clean around. Then you carefully got to his shaft, then tried to get a few stains off from his shirt. After that you put the tissues away, taking the wet towel. You cleaned his thighs and areas again. Scara bit his lips, you were gentle. You put everything away and went to throw out the tissues.

"I think we should put a few of your clothes to wash, don't you think?" You asked, coming back. He nodded, but stopped mid-nod and responded, "Yeah, right." "Take your shirt off, I'll get you a new one," you smiled, running to a room. He felt his cheeks get hot again. He loved this, even if it made him very embarrassed. He slowly took his shirt off, then you ran back into the room. "Um, I got you clean boxers as well, if you don't mind-" you spoke, putting down the clothing on the chair next to him. He stayed silent, handing you his shirt. You took it and went to quickly put it in the washing machine. He took his pants and boxers off. He took the shirt and boxers that you got him and put them on.

When you came back, he was already holding his clothing in hand for you. "Did it get stained too?" You asked, taking them. He just looked away from your gaze, "just in case." You nodded and went to also put them in the wash. He could hear you pressing a few buttons and the machine starting to work. When you came back, Scara was still staring somewhere else. You stood in front of him.

"I'm sorry," you broke the silence. He immediately looked at you, face showing confusion. "Why the fuck are you sorry?" He asked. "You know," you messed with your shirt, "I kind of didn't really ask if you wanted me to do.. that, so- I understand if you're mad." He blinked at you. "You're a fool to think that," he replied, "I'm not mad. I'm.. surprised, I guess." "Why?" You stared back at him. Silence.

Scara stared at you. "Well, first of all-" he coughed, "you turned me on in the worst way possible." He looked away from you, feeling his face get hot more. "You made me beg for you, you- fuck. You.. goddammit, you made me fucking desperate." He felt the shame again. Silence. He started feeling nervous, for some reason. You quietly asked, "Did you hate it..?" He looked back at you, "No I didn't, I fucking loved it, idiot." "You loved me being controlling??" You asked again. He stared. He started thinking. "Well, if.. if that was that, then- um, I guess?" He shrugged. Silence, again.

You slightly smiled, "I'll make note of that." You leaned your head closer to him and he immediately kissed you. You kissed back, putting your hand on his chest, the other on his cheek. His hands went to your shirt, pulling you closer. You two made out, your thumb rubbing his cheek. Then you pulled away for a breath, but he pulled you back again. You slid your tongue against his, a muffled noise from Scara. After a few moments, he pulled away from the kiss, breathing on your lips. "You made me so desperate, you have no idea," he quickly whispered before kissing you again. You felt his hands clutch your shirt, pulling away again. "You made me- fuck, you made me-" he couldn't put into words. He wanted to kiss you again, but you put a finger to his lips.

You stared into his eyes, "I made you call me mommy?" He breathed out a 'yes'. "I made you obey me?" You continued, lidding your eyes. He breathed out another 'yes'. "I made you finish so hard, that you were shaking against me?" You put your hand back on his cheek. He whined out a 'yes.' You put your lips against him again, he kissed back immediately. You two made out for a while, some muffled noises from the man. Then you pulled away, pressing a finger on his lips again. "Let's go to bed. It's late and I want you to get rest, okay?" You spoke in a soft tone. He nodded. "We can continue tomorrow," you continued, taking your hands away from him. He did the same. You smiled at him. "Thank you," he mumbled so quietly you almost didn't hear him. "You're welcome, Scaramouche," you chuckled at his expression. "Jeez, so formal," he rolled his eyes. You laughed and then your eyes caught something.

A cup. With already cold water.

"Oh my god," you said out loud, Scara sending you a confused gaze, "I forgot about my tea." He turned his head to where you were staring and yep, your cup is there with your forgotten teabag. "..I'll heat it up and drink it, you can go to bed," you said, rubbing your forehead. He stood up and looked at you, wanting to say something, but didn't. He just stared, might slightly agape. You looked at him again. "You want me to tuck you in?" You smirked, a giggle coming from you. He widened his eyes, looking away, "no, fuck you." He started walking away and you followed him. Scara went into his room and turned around. "I thought you're making tea?" He raised his eyebrows at you. You nodded, "Yeah, I will. I just want to say goodnight."

"Well, you just said it, you can go now," he motioned his hand at you. "Get in your bed first," you said. He just rolled his eyes, "I was going to do that anyways." He walks to his bed and turns on the light on the nightstand. He sat on his bed, staring at you, arms crossed. You walked over to him, leaned down and pushed him down on the bed. He gasped and you kissed him. His heart started beating more again, feeling you move your lips against his. He got that feeling again. His hands went to your shirt, pulling you more. Your fingers ghosted on his arm, leaving behind goosebumps on his skin. He felt your knee press against his crotch and he moaned in surprise.

That was unintentional — you didn't realize where you placed your legs. You pulled away and smiled down at him. Scara started back. "Goodnight, Scara," you said, leaning into his neck, "Good boy." Then you got off him and left the room, waving at him before closing the door. He stared at the door. He ran a hand through his hair, then along his face. Scara got under the covers, trying to ignore the feeling, trying to ignore the need for your touch again.

You just went to heat up your tea. Microwave beeps, teabag out, a bit of honey in your cup, mix it. You sat down and enjoyed your drink, slowly. You put down your cup, staring at the surface, recalling what happened. It made you feel hot, just like before.

"And it started with him being jealous, huh?" You mumbled, taking a sip again. "Live laugh Scaramouche." You chuckled, finishing your drink.

© h0ney-mochi 2022 ; 2024 / Please don't copy or repost my work and writings! <3

[tojisun]

[head in my hands] diabolical hockey au just hit me rn-

thinking about being the specgru’s head coach’s controversially young gf, and most of the team are fucking enamoured.

so taken by how you look that, sometimes, they’d chirp at their coach (it’s nikto.. i have been bewitched 😣) about how maybe they’d get to focus if he just brought around his little sweetheart and nikto stares at them with pursed lips and deadpanned eyes before making them run lines for hours.

but nikto’s… intrigued by this. because he is the first to say that yes, you are a doll. god, the prettiest of them all - he still doesn't understand why you even chose him but it's not like he'll let you go anymore, darling. not a chance.

but mactavish's chirp is still bright in his ears that nikto realizes that maybe, just maybe, he can indulge the boys a little bit.

just a smidge. not enough to actually give them a taste, but just a spark; light up that hunger they're feeling, and maybe nikto can even get a reward for himself. maybe they'd finally lockdown on that powerplay or even solidify their defense, but whatever it is, nikto's quite excited.

it's not often that the solution to your team is right there, in the palm of your hands.

.

in the next practice, nikto pretends that nothing's changed in the routine. the boys are still doing their stretches, with garrick leading them to it, and the assistant coaches are gearing up for diverse set of trainings. keller, for one, already's got the backup goalie with him while they set up drills for him and price.

the practice goes on, with nikto amping up the intensity just so the reward falls sweeter than it is, before winding them down for the natural break. nikto gets off the ice while the team makes a game out of gathering up the pucks to dump them back into the bin, and he watches, almost with anticipation, as time trickles.

then, the inevitable-

you, bounding in from the locker rooms at nikto's message, and the team's attention easily being snagged.

it started with johnny, elbowing riley, then it was everyone turning to watch as you walk towards him you don't even give the others a second glance, laser-focused only on him. on nikto.

look at you. a room full of men who wants you and all you care about is him.

nikto feels his gums throb with something like pride, and he doesn't even notice that he's began posturing too - back straightened as he rolls his shoulders and stands up straight.

"baby," you breathe out, giggly almost, as you fold yourself into his arms.

"kotenok," nikto rumbles out, pulling you impossibly closer. sure, half of it is for show, but the stronger half is thrumming with obsession. with possessiveness and desire. because the team doesn't need to chirp for nikto to know how perfect you are.

the team's gone all quiet and laughably docile, and nikto would tease. would chirp back just to see all of them grumble at the realization that nikto can bring you around all they want, it won't change the fact that you don't even care about them.

but you're already in his arms and they're looking on with vivid envy that nikto dismisses the idea and calls for the end of practice.

that doesn't stop the boys from flirting with you, apparently - johnny catches up with you on his way back to the lockers, chatting up about your dogs like they're not nikto's dogs too. simon's brooding, quiet as he shadows you and mactavish on the way back, and only pipes up when you turn to include him in, like you're truly his weakness.

price is more subtle - stealing your attention as he stands beside nikto, like he is truly challenging his coach for his coach's girlfriend. it sort of works too because you're vibrating from where you stand as you ask him about his recent shutout - against washington - all starry-eyed like the fan you are.

but garrick. nikto thinks he might just be the worst because it's him who has you acting all shy, your eyes flicking up to kyle's face before ducking down as you busy yourself with the zipper of your jacket like you couldn't handle prolonged eye contact. it's kyle who speaks to you with such quiet timbre that you're visibly quaking when he leaned forward to whisper directly into your ear after another stuttered, "huh?"

it's kyle who walks away first too, and the one that had you tripping on your feet as you subconsciously followed even when nikto's already waiting by the car.

damn it. maybe he'll make garrick do suicides tomorrow.

[quietstormxr]

Found You Again

You'll Survive - Part 2

Garrick Tavis x Reader

Angst/Violence/PTSD

Minor Iron Flame spoilers

Summary: After Garrick finds you still alive, you both have to deal with the consequences of torture, the coming war, and your relationship.

Word Count: <10k

A/N: Get a beverage and get comfy, this is going to be a long one. Got a little carried away with this one, so it's going to be three parts. I have a few more scenes I want to add and didn't want to cram them all here! Hope y'all don't mind.

All it takes is a moment and you are shooting up from the bed that you had apparently been laying in. A scream still tearing from your throat as you scan your surroundings frantically. There are beads of sweat pouring from your temples and you can feel your heart beating a rapid staccato that you can’t seem to control. 

As you continue to heave breaths in and out you wildly search from left to right for any threats, the lingering phantom of hands holding you down ghosting across your skin. 

Your eyes finally snag on another pair staring at you with agonizing sorrow. You can’t help the way you scramble back out of the bed and as far away from the figure as you can. Your brain tries to remind you this figure won’t hurt you, but you can’t seem to connect the thoughts with the remnants of your dream that felt more like reality.

Your back finally hits cold stone and that makes you turn and jump again; memories of your head being smashed into the same type of stone only days ago vivid in your mind.

As the present slowly comes into focus and your dream fades away, your heartbeat slowing to a more reasonable rhythm, you finally begin to process the room in front of you. 

There’s no longer the smell of rotten earth and the metallic iron of dried blood, the floors are clean and there’s a large window showing the beginning cracks of sunlight rising from the horizon. You try to continue taking deep breaths as your gaze finally sweeps back to the pair of eyes that had you scrambling back before.

You meet the hazel gaze that shines with unshed tears and a sorrowful look on his face that you had never seen before. No one could miss the way that he is holding himself to the chair that he has been sitting in, obviously an effort not to move or scare you. You can hear the wood of the chair creaking under the pressure and his knuckles turning his pale skin even whiter.   

You both stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, neither one of you speaking seeming to not want to break the spell that you’re both in. 

You slowly begin to straighten yourself from the shrunken in shape you had taken when waking from your nightmare. As you do, you notice that you are no longer in your torn and shredded flight leathers you were tortured in. Now, you are in oversized training clothes that you know must be Garrick’s. Your hand moves to your hair and the strands slide through your fingers. Someone must have bathed and changed you after you were mended.

You continue to look around the room you are in and take in the way that it looks lived in and has notes of Garrick all around. There’s a tapestry over the large inner wall that has a desk in front of it and a weapons rack right next to it. You can’t help the way you notice the number of swords that are littered on the other wall making rainbow of glittering sharp weapons.

Out the corner of your eye, you can see Garrick’s form slowly move from grasping the chair with a death grip to relaxing his hands in his lap. You swallow, noting the scratch of your throat as you do. The memory of the scream you awoke to striking in your mind. You bring your hand up to your throat and tap, hoping that he will understand the gesture and get you some water. 

Garrick gives you a short nod before he moves to the small table that is beside the bed. You watch as he pours a glass of water before turning back to you and slowly making his way to where you stand. Neither one of you deigns to speak as if either of you do the spell will be broken. 

As he hands you the glass, you give him a curt nod before taking a few steps out of his reach. His eyes continue to look pained, and his arm falls back to his side as if in defeat. 

You slowly take sips of the water trying to relish in the way the liquid quells the scratch of your throat. It doesn’t escape your notice that something that was so trivial now seems to be such a luxury. The use of your hands, a mended body, the ability to move away from someone whether a threat or not. You hold onto the glass with both hands as you continue to drink the water while walking back to the bed. You sit on the side and let your body drop back in relief of not being restrained. 

Emotions hit you hard suddenly and you look at your hands noticing the way they’ve begun to tremble. You let yourself slide from the bed onto the floor carefully placing the glass at your side. As you finally make contact with the ground, you clasp your hands together trying to steady them. Leaning your head against the mattress, you can’t control the gasp that leaves your mouth as your throat constricts and tears begin to stream down your face. You continue to take gasping breaths as the tears fall and your head stays firmly planted against the mattress. 

As the fog of emotion slowly begins to clear, you hear carefully measured footsteps come towards you. Turning your head slightly, you watch as Garrick comes towards you slowly. He crouches down not far from where you’ve melted into the floor, and you notice the tear streaks that mar his pale cheeks. Your gazes collide and there’s nothing but raw, charged emotion hanging in the air. If the last week had never happened, you would be laughing at the way the mountain of muscle before you had become so tentative. Gone was the bravado and over-confident air that seemed to follow him around.

“C-Ca-Can I touch you?” He questions stammering, his tone quiet and reserved. 

Your mind is suddenly a cacophony of thoughts. The anger that you’d been clinging onto burning bright, the fear of anyone touching you in any way, and the undeniable want to be held close and safe by the man in front of you waging a war on every front. 

“P – Please don’t.” You whisper as the fear and then anger win out over the softer emotions roiling within you. 

You know that the fear you’re feeling must have leeched into your voice, because it’s almost as if you can see the heart of the man in front of you breaking as the words leave your mouth. 

“What can I do?” He mumbles as he seems to waver on how exactly to move forward. 

You look at him with a mix of sadness, resolve, and anger in your features before replying. “Nothing.”

The fear and helplessness you were feeling moments ago morphing into the relentless anger that you had harbored for the man sitting next to you. It’s with that spark of fire that ignites in your body that you find yourself getting up from the floor and marching towards the door.

“Wait!” Garrick calls from behind you as you go to open the door. You’re immediately met with a barrage of sounds that cause you to shrink back. Your eyes wide with pure fear, darting back and forth among the cadets that seem to be milling about wherever you are. 

You immediately close the door again, your breaths coming in ragged pants as you plaster yourself to the back of the door. Terrified eyes look back up at Garrick before the questions start rapid firing in your mind.

“Wh-where are we?” The question coming out with pure confusion laced in your words. You knew you couldn’t be at Basgiath, but all those people couldn’t possibly be lieutenants. 

“You’re at Riorson House in Aretia.” He says in a calm tone.

“Who are all those people?” Your brows furrow trying to make sense of everything that’s happening all at once.

“They are all the cadets that defected when Riorson and I came for Violet.” As he continues to explain, you watch as he slowly moved forward. His hands are fisted at his sides and look as if they are trying to hold him in place. 

“When I finally found you again.” He continues as if the thought of getting to Basgiath for anyone but you wasn’t worth his time to dwell on. His hand starts to reach out for you of its own accord, but he finally realizes, and it falls back to his side.

As the facts start taking shape in your mind, you can’t help the confusion that seems to blanket you as well. 

“Defected? Are you telling me that you took me, injured, from the little protections that Navarre does offer?” You incredulously look back at him, your eyes boring into his soul.

Garrick seems taken aback by your phrasing of the question and rage flashes in his eyes. “What protections?” His voice starts to raise slightly as the anger builds.

“Do you really think torturing you within an inch of your life is much protection? Of course, I fucking took you! I wasn’t leaving you with those sadistic fuckers.” He hisses, the switch to anger turning palpable as you see memories haunt his face.

He stops just a few steps from you and brings his face down to be level with yours. “And I would fucking do it again if it means knowing you are safe. I don’t give a shit whether you like it or not.”

Your face contorts into a sneer as the anger you felt before being taken roars back to life. But you aren’t complaining because at least the anger can drown out the fear. With that knowledge, you turn again back to the door and fling it open while Garrick tries to grab your arm, the fear you had shown him forgotten as he tries to catch up with you. 

You have no idea where you are going, you are just moving down the hallway trying to get away from the man that is yelling your name. You slink through the cadets that are milling about as fast as you can, using your smaller agile frame against Garrick’s herculean form. You descend the stairs and find a door open to the left and swiftly enter trying to escape. 

Unfortunately, it seems Zinhal has other plans for you today. As you suddenly come to a halt you look around and see that you’re obviously now in a training room that regrettably contains Bodhi, Xaden, and Imogen. The three of them turn to you with slight shock on their faces before you can hear Garrick’s voice burst into the room.

“Y/N.” He breathes in an exasperated breath before looking at the other three gathered as well. His eyes seeming to zero in on Bodhi.

You watch as Garrick stomps over to Bodhi with deadly intent. His uncertainty on how to handle the situation with you crumbling all the restraint left to his anger, fear, rage, and powerlessness to fix the torture you had to endure.

“You.” He growls menacingly while staring at him with a murderous gleam. 

“You knew she was fucking alive and didn’t think to tell me!” He roars. “I never thought my ‘brother’ would keep something like that from me.”

Bodhi’s face falls completely and that’s when you know that you must step in. You may not be overly friendly with Bodhi, but he doesn’t deserve to be treated badly because of the spot you put him in. You walk in between the two right before Garrick goes to grab Bodhi’s collar. You push Garrick’s hand aside and look up at him with a fire dancing in your own eyes.

“I made that decision for him.” You utter coldly. 

Garrick finally removes his gaze from Bodhi and looks down at you, the anger in his eyes softening in some of its sharpness. 

“Bodhi told me to write you the minute he saw me land at Basgiath, but I tied his hands.” You explain with no hint of remorse. “You left me behind, all while your little pink girlfriend smirked at me in smug satisfaction. You showed your cards to me, remember?”

Garrick’s anger seems to evaporate, and his entire expression turns into regret, but this time you aren’t swayed. 

“Then I went to Eltuval and found myself alone on patrol and learning that venin and wyvern were real. Alone. Something I believe you know a little about.” You add sarcastically as you gesture to the expanse of Riorson House. 

Your anger at the whole situation and what you had to face alone comes rushing back. A derisive laugh bubbling up at the predicament you find yourself in.

“You left me behind, told me I would survive without you, then I was left alone on watch and became the number one target for a massive wyvern doing its own patrol of Navarre’s borders.” You revealed while the anger and level of your voice began to rise. 

The expression on Garrick’s face is laughable to say the least. You watch as his regret turns to disbelief back to anger and finally lands back on regret. 

“That – That’s impossible.” A female voice stammers from behind you.

You huff a humorless laugh and turn towards the voice. You narrow your eyes in a glare at the girl staring back at you in disbelief. 

“Tell that to the scars on my back from the wyverns razored feathers.” You say as you stalk towards Violet with an ominous look in your eyes.

“Did you think that your little group was the only one who found themselves the victim of the cadre’s wrath? Did you think they were only after your precious Wingleader?” You spit the derision in your tone obvious as you gesture towards the brooding shadow wielder.

“You are more naïve than I thought if you believe that Colonel Aetos was only going to go after the marked ones alone.” You asserted as you walked into Violet’s space, looking down at the girl who was a few inches shorter than you.

You couldn’t help the mocking laugh that slipped past your lips when you noticed Xaden step up to her back as if you intended on hurting the girl in front of you.

“Don’t worry, Riorson. I have absolutely no intention of hurting your dear girl. I just want her to realize that you weren’t the only ones that the cadre had an issue with.” You sneered with boredom lacing your tone. 

“Now if your little family gathering will excuse me.” You gesture towards all the ones gathered there making a circling motion with your hand. “I’m going to get some fresh air.”

You take three steps away before you feel a large, calloused hand wrap around your upper arm. You can’t help the way you flinch and your eyes flash at the touch.

“You can’t go out there by yourself. It’s dangerous and anything could happen to you.” Garrick explains sounding like he’s trying to reason with you. You forcefully pull your arm from his grip before turning around.

“No, see here’s where you’re wrong.” You purr with conviction while thrusting your finger into his chest forcefully. “I can do whatever the fuck I want. If I die,” you shrug your shoulders conveying your nonchalance “then so be it. At least I won’t be haunted by the nightmares any longer.”

“I will not let you put yourself in unnecessary danger.” Garrick barked blocking you from your path.

You take your time looking back directly into those hazel eyes. “You, my dear Garrick, lost your fucking privilege of caring about what I do about five months ago. Why don’t you go rut with one of the other mares in your stable and leave me the fuck alone.”

As you swiftly turn your body and continue your walk, there was no way to avoid hearing the shocked gasps at the words you said. Even though you knew you still loved Garrick, your heart was walled off to him after he became just another one of the men who continued to disappoint you. 

Right before you closed the door, you couldn’t help overhearing Garrick’s loud curse and a roaring bang that you surmised must have been a punch to the nearest punching bag or possibly a wall. A small, satisfied smirk crawled across your face when you realized that you could successfully still get under Garrick’s skin.

As soon as you were outside the heavy wooden doors of the fortress, you looked down and noticed the shifting of shadows.

“Leave me the fuck alone Riorson.” You spit while stepping over them. 

As you kept walking, you found yourself entering the small, reconstructed town of Aretia. You had heard stories of the burning and due to your interest in geography and history had more knowledge than your average cadet. However, you had no idea where you were going; you just knew that you needed to get away. 

You continued along the path, but still noticed the wisp of a shadow that followed you. Clearly Xaden wasn’t going to let you be alone, so you knew what you would have to do to throw off your wisping tail. Without much thought, you walked into the nearest shop that was bustling with townspeople trying to do their daily shopping. 

The minute you stepped in, you changed your entire appearance with the aid of Diomat’s power. You made your hair shorter and darker, your eyes a shade of sapphires you hadn’t seen anyone else have and reduced the look of your height. As soon as your looks were fully disguised, you walked back out of the shop. Taking a deep breath when you were finally away from the crowd, and you stepped into the shade of the nearest tree. Looking around for your unfortunate addition, you were happy to find that you must’ve slipped the shadows notice. 

When you confirmed there was no longer a wisp following you, you proceeded to continue your walk into town.

You couldn’t help the smile that immediately lit up your face as you watched children playing and mother’s going about their days. Something about seeing this domesticity made your resolve about fighting in the coming war harden. You knew there was no way that you would let these people suffer if you didn’t have to. Especially after experiencing what torture could be doled out from your own cadre, let alone an enemy. 

After walking a while, you found a small café and ordered a hot chocolate while sitting at one of the small tables. You sat there watching the calm lives of the civilians outside and continued to smile in your revelry of the small things. You were so engrossed in your own daydream that you startled when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

Looking up in a swift turn, you are surprised to find a pair of liquid silver eyes staring back at you. You couldn’t help the way you appraised the stranger. You had never seen a man with such mesmerizing eyes. You continued to stare at the man in front of you, now noticing his raven hair and warm honey skin. 

“Can I help you?” You asked as you continued appraising the stranger in front of you.

“I’m sorry to bother you. But I had to ask as I was unsure if I was hallucinating. Did you change your appearance in that shop across the road?” He queried you while giving a slight tilt to his head indicating the shop you had left. 

You turned a little sheepish not really knowing how much you should reveal to the man in front of you.

“I don’t mean to catch you off guard.” He continues with a placating tone. “I’m a guard at Riorson House and by the clothing, I assumed you were a rider, and obviously noticed you before the hair and eye color change.”

You shake your head in acknowledgement before giving him a reply.

“Yes, I did. I was just trying to shake a little shadow and have some time to myself.”

He nods in acceptance obviously realizing what exactly you are insinuating. 

“Ah, yes. The real question is why Lieutenant Riorson is needing to follow you around.” He added pure curiosity in his face.

“If you’re asking if I’m a threat, I can assure you I’m not. After days of torture, I’m not sure how much of a menace I could be right about now.” You muse not afraid to share your misfortunes. 

“So, are you the Sorrengail or Lieutenant Tavis’ interest?”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you at the remote possibility you could be Violet Sorrengail. 

“I’m not naïve enough to be Sorrengail. Besides, do you really think Riorson would let her out of his sight?” You criticized seeing that you can’t imagine how someone who was hailed at being so smart couldn’t imagine that the cadre of Navarre wouldn’t just take out anyone they saw as a threat in any way.

“So, you’re the one that Tavis thought was dead.” He surmises. 

Your eyes widen slightly and then narrow in suspicion. 

“And exactly how do you know that?” 

He gives a small smile before continuing. “I promise I mean you no harm and I don’t report back to Riorson or Tavis if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“If that’s the case. How exactly do you know all of this? I can’t imagine that the love lives of mere lieutenants are the subject of gossip.” You can’t help but question this man that has seemingly popped up out of nowhere.

He nods in understanding and gestures asking to sit at the table that I’ve taken residence at. You offer the seat, and he immediately sits down across from you. 

“You’re right in one instance. People aren’t normally interested in the love lives of the Lieutenants. However, I’m guessing you are aware of why people would be concerned with Riorson’s life.” You give a slight shift of your head confirming your understanding.

“Being that Riorson is the most important person to the Tyrrish people, it does not escape them that Tavis is his right hand. Therefore, both of their lives are heavily scrutinized from the Assembly, hence my knowledge on the subject.”

He goes on to continue to regale you with stories of both men, including Bodhi in the bunch. He takes time to explain how the Assembly learned of your existence since you were apparently a wrench in their plans. No one expected Garrick to be entangled with anything more than physical, let alone a first year.  

You also learn that this man’s name is Fabien, and he has been a guard at Riorson House since about two years after the Apostasy. His family owns the café that you are currently sitting in, but they had previously been servants at Riorson House as well. 

Oddly enough, you begin to let your guard down and find yourself being drawn into the grey eyes and warm personality of the man in front of you. It has been a while since you had met someone so open and willingly trusting. 

You could only think that a person like Fabien would be torn down immediately at Basgiath. The sad reality that the thought even crossed your mind crashing into you.

Soon enough, the light of the sun began waning into the horizon beyond the cliffs. You looked out at the setting sun and something in the shift of your facial features must’ve given away your decision to get back to Riorson House. 

“I know it’s getting late, and I imagine that you need to get back. Would you mind if I escort you back to the fortress?” Fabien asks as you both rise from the table. 

“I’d hate to be a bother, especially if you weren’t planning on going back today.” You say giving him an easy out from his ask. Although you were hoping he would still want to as you were slightly unsure of how to get back to the fortress.

“I insist. I’m more than confident you can handle yourself, but I will feel better if you’d allow me to escort you.” He declares.

‘I expect you to accept his offer, Bold One.’ Diomat slithers into your mind, reminding you that she’s watching out for you as well.

‘Yes, ma’am.’ You sass back, smiling at the exasperated huff you hear down your bond.

You nod your head in agreement and push in the chair that you had been relaxing in all day. As soon as you step into the night air you can’t help the shiver that crawls up your spine, the oversized training clothes not doing much to shield from the chill of the October air. Fabien must see your discomfort because not even ten steps later, he has thrown his cloak over you and closed the middle clasp. You give him a small thankful smile before you both continue your saunter back towards the doors of the fortress.

As you walk with him, you find yourself continuing to fall into conversation and chat about anything and everything. He takes great care to point things out around the town and let you know little stories from both his childhood and the ‘three musketeers’ that ran terror around the town growing up. In return, you tell him stories of your childhood growing up on the coastline and the scuffles you got yourself into with your siblings. 

As you both get to the gates of Riorson House, you can’t hold in the boisterous laugh that tears from you at a particularly funny story involving three small children and a two-tiered chocolate cake. As you round the corner, you see a tall, muscled figure pacing back and forth in front of the wooden doors. The minute the sound of your laugh touches his ears, you watch as he turns to look directly at you. 

Garrick’s eyes twinkle at the sound of your laugh before his gaze follows to the person that is standing next to you. His eyes immediately harden at the man standing next to you. You watch as he strides towards you with clear purpose.

Without giving him too much attention, you turn to Fabien and go to unclasp his cloak. However, before you can undo the clasp, Fabien touches your hand stopping you.

“Please keep it.” He says while looking out the corner of his eye, obviously watching the mountain of muscle that is marching straight towards you.

“You don’t have to do that.” You go to protest, but he shakes his head.

“I know I don’t have to, but I’d like if you would.” He states. “I’d also like to see you again sometime, whenever you aren’t too busy.”

You go to respond to him, but you are cut off by a gruff voice replying before you. “She’s too busy all the time.”

You turn a glare at the man that has decided he needed to put himself between the two of you. You step around Garrick and give him a glare that he doesn’t acknowledge.

“We’ll see each other again.” You say looking at the man who has treated you as more than a beautiful annoyance all afternoon. “I’ll make sure to stop by when I get some free time. In the meanwhile, thank you so much for the wonderful afternoon, stories, and the cloak.”

Fabien gives you a slight bow and nod with his smile before he turns on his heels and you watch as he walks outside the fortress walls. You spin on your heels and head towards the doors. As you go to open the door, a large hand covers yours and turns your body to face them.

You look up at Garrick with a face of exasperation your eyes turning tired. 

“How did you slip past Xaden’s shadows?” He questions. 

“That’s none of your business, Lieutenant.” You snap at him.

“Why won’t you just talk to me? I’ve been sitting next to that bed for three days waiting for you to wake up. Praying to any gods who would listen to make sure you’d be alright.” He explains while running a hand through his hair. 

“Will you ever give me another chance?” He says quietly. 

“What chance do I need to give?” You snarl back harshly. “You made your decision and told me that I would survive without you, didn’t you? So here I am, surviving without you.”

You watch as he rakes his hand through his hair again and blows out a growl of utter frustration.

“Yes, I said that, and I was a fucking idiot.” He starts as he moves closer to you. “You don’t know how much I regretted those words the moment you mounted Diomat and left me behind. Hell, the moment they left my mouth.”

His hand rises to your face and cups the side of your jaw, his thumb rubbing lazy circles over your cheek. 

“Then I flew back to Basgiath after Resson and the only bright light I could think of was your face.” A faraway look clouds his eyes as the memory fizzles inside his mind.

“When everyone was trying to play their part to make sure no one knew the truth, I kept searching formation for you. I looked up and down every row, every face looking for your eyes.” He recounts. “I was standing there trying to breathe and keep my composure so that we could sell our story. But the only thing I wanted to do was run down to your squad and ask every single person where you were.”

You take a deep breath as you stare into the worried hazel eyes that seem to dart all around your face as if cataloging every detail. 

“What do you want from me Garrick?” You ask tiredly not knowing whether you’re willing to give the man in front of you anything anymore.

“You.” He says breathlessly while bringing his forehead to rest on yours. “I fucking want you.”

You can feel how tense his body is from holding himself back from rushing to crush your body to his. Every muscle in his arms seem to sing with want to move and not let go, but you aren’t convinced.

You push yourself back from him and take his hand from your face. You bring it down and let it fall limp next to his body. 

“You of all people knew how many men in my life have let me down.” You reply, drawing your gaze down with the tears that are beginning to fill your eyes. You lift them back to Garrick and let him see your eyes shine with held back emotion.

“I was expecting better from you. I was expecting to be your priority, but I wasn’t. Not to mention you were keeping secrets. I feel like I don’t even know you.” You tell him as a single tear slips down the side of your face. 

Garrick’s face becomes a whirlpool of emotion as your words crash around him. He knew all the ways men in your life had failed you, yet he let himself do the same. 

“I was tortured because of your secrets that you didn’t see fit to tell me.” You can’t help the small shake of your head in disbelief and the haunted look of your eyes. “You knew that I would keep any secret and take it to my grave before putting anyone in danger, especially you. However, you chose to take my agency. You chose what you thought was best, with I’m sure some assistance from your friendly shadow. But, at the end of the day, you made your decisions.”

You begin to walk towards the heavy doors again before turning back towards the man that held your entire heart. 

“Now it’s time for me to make my own decisions. It will be on my terms if anything else happens between us.”

As you enter the fortress, the realization that you have nowhere to go dawns on you after remembering it was Garrick’s room you woke up in. As if in answer to your question, Xaden steps out of one of doorways in the hallway in front of you. With purpose written on your features, you walk up to your previous Wingleader. 

“I need a room to stay in.” You say unceremoniously to the man standing in front of you.

He looks at you with a hint of confusion on his face, before nodding his head and walking further into the fortress. You follow him and hope that you’ll be able to keep the talking to a minimum. 

“Are you sure that you don’t want to stay where you are?” He asks while continuing to walk forward, though he does turn to glance back at you. “The rooms in the family wing are significantly larger than those in the barracks.”

“I’m sure.” You can’t help the terse way you respond. 

Suddenly he turns and faces you. The quick way he moves and turns towards you has you retreating and running into the wall. You can feel the way that your face has twisted in fear at his movements and watch as the brooding man before you softens uncharacteristically. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He softly says while taking a few steps back. “We’ll get you assigned a room, but you should know that Garrick isn’t going to like being separated from you after everything.”

Your eyes roll at the statement and Xaden looks at you with a sad understanding. 

“Trust me when I say that both of us have said and done things in the past year that we deeply regret.” He starts in a rare moment of vulnerability from the hard man he usually is. “I’m not going to try and convince you to be with Garrick, but I do want you to know that it wasn’t Garrick’s call to leave you for War Games. It was mine.”

“I know that.” You argue. “It wasn’t the not being taken, it was the way he handled it and the words he said.”

You huff a cynical laugh before continuing. “I’m sure even Violet would admit that every girl wants the man that she’s with to show a little fight when it comes to her.”

It was then that Xaden blew out a huff of his own. “You may think that he didn’t fight for you. But you didn’t see him after he saw you in that chamber. When Aetos caught you after you fainted,” He stops shaking his head while recollecting the memory. “I’ve never seen Garrick move so fast to get to you and wrap you in his arms. When flying back here, he wouldn’t even let anyone else touch you.”

“Not to mention, you need to realize that sometimes a man makes a decision purely on the thought of keeping the woman he loves safe.” He catches me before I can open my mouth to argue back. “Whether or not she may like what that decision is. Sometimes he may prefer her to hate him if that means she’s safe.”

You look into the eyes of the man in front of you and his face is nothing but open and serious. You give him a curt nod noting your understanding before he turns back around, and you both continue down the hallway. 

Good to his word, Xaden finds you a room and even though you expected to be in the barracks, your room ends up being on the floor underneath the family rooms. You thank him for helping you and close the door to your room. 

You heave out a large breath before unceremoniously dropping yourself onto the bed. You turn and let your eyes drift to the ceiling of the room trying to quiet your churning mind.

______

Due to the amount of mending that you had to have after Varrish’s particularly brutal forms of torture, you were given some time off before having to join in with the rest of the cadets. However, after learning of your fate in Eltuval, you were summoned to the Assembly to explain exactly what you saw.

As you walked into the large room, you couldn’t help but notice the long table that ran the length of the room with several members lining each side. However, the thing that really took your attention was the large chair sitting slightly higher than all the rest and not just the chair, but the man lounging in it. 

There was Xaden sitting in the half-burned chair, legs stretched out in front of him with a bored look on his face. And if there was any question left in your mind about where Garrick fell, it was answered today. There he was stood behind the chair with his twin swords strapped to his back, arms folded across his chest looking as if he was assessing each and every person and the threat they may pose. 

A General guarding his King.

Garrick’s eyes met yours and you watched as his stance softened ever so slightly, the same way it always would at Basgiath. A sad smile sprawled across your lips as you shook your head slightly at the memory. 

“Cadet L/N.” You looked up as a man with auburn curls called your name and motioned you to take a seat at the middle of the table. “We appreciate you talking to us about your experience in Eltuval. Feel free to begin whenever you’d like.”

You make your way to the seat and tentatively sit down. You heart begins to flutter in your chest and nerves begin to make you stomach tighten. You place your hands in your lap to stop them from shaking and take a deep breath to try and steady yourself.

“I’m not sure how much information that I have to share that will enlighten you more than what you already know.” You start, suddenly feeling very self-conscious with all of these older riders.

“I was given orders to patrol a specific area within the borders of our position at Eltuval. Diomat and I proceeded to the area and began our patrol as normal. About a half an hour into the watch, there was a large roar from the northwestern part of our patrol.” You take another fortifying breath before the assembly seems to fade and your eyes become your memories.

“As I looked towards the sound, blue flames erupted from the mouth of the beast. I consulted with my dragon, as I wasn’t sure what exactly I was looking at. Diomat confirmed that it was a wyvern and confirmed that I could kill it with a blade that Lieutenant Tavis had previously gifted me.” As you finish your sentence, your eyes involuntarily flick to the man in question.

“Diomat then flew towards the wyvern as it headed straight for us in return. As we made our way there, I utilized my signet to be able to get down on the wyverns back. Once there, I slammed the blade in and was able to slash through half of its neck while it flailed.”

“Regrettably, I was thrown into its razored mane before I was flung into the air. Luckily, Diomat was able to catch me, and we returned to the outpost. From there, my wounds were tended to, and I told the cadre that I was hurt from falling from Diomat’s back.” As you finish, you look around the room at the eyes staring back at you. A mix of disbelief and astonishment fixed on all their faces, all but one. Garrick is looking as if he might be sick from the recounting of your tale. 

“Are you saying that you jumped on the back of a wyvern and killed it with your own hands?!?” A man with a hawkish nose barks out incredulously.

Your head immediately whips to him and your eyes narrow. “Why the hell would I lie?” You challenge the man.

“Why should we believe this tale? The whole thing sounds of fairytales.” A woman with an axe strapped to her back argues back.

“I thought venin and wyvern were fairytales, yet here we are in an Assembly room that is trying to figure out best way to beat them.” You fume as you gesture to the people sitting around the table while standing up from your seat. 

“And even though I shouldn’t have to fucking qualify my story for you to believe me, how about I fucking show you.” The anger at their accusations has turned your body into a raging wildfire. 

With that fire burning in your veins, you turn around and lift the back of your shirt. There’s no way to ignore the gasps of horror that leave the mouths of the people in the room. You know what they’re seeing, large scars that bisect through the part of the relic that Diomat placed on your back.

“So yes, I jumped on the back of a damn wyvern and killed it. And no, it wasn’t a fucking fairytale.” After you finish speaking you bust out of the room, the fire in your veins still burning brightly.

You know from experience there are only two ways to burn the fire licking at you. You decide that its been too long since you’ve seen Diomat and find yourself immediately making a beeline for the large front doors. Just before you are about to grab one of the handles and swing the door open, a large hand wraps around your arm.

You are immediately tugged around and enveloped in large arms. Your anger is still burning hot on the surface so thankfully the fear of being restrained hasn’t bubbled up. 

“Gods.” Garrick breathes as he holds you tightly. “It’s so much worse than I thought it was.”

“What did you think I was making it up too?” You huff out cynically. He moves one of the hands from the hug and pulls back slightly to grab your chin in his hand. 

“Of course, I didn’t. I was just hoping it wasn’t as bad as I thought. But apparently, it was worse.” He answers his eyes serious with a hint of sadness. The next thing you know he’s huffing out a small laugh. “I don’t know whether I want to be angry with you for risking your life so recklessly or just be in wonder at how astonishing you are.”

Now it was your turn to scoff. “You can be both, but I need to get out of here.” With that you turn from the man and make your way outside of the fortress.

You’re thankful that Diomat shares your mind, because without you even having to ask, she touches down in the large courtyard upsetting the guards and garden below. Without caring, you mount your dragon and immediately take to the skies. 

After a few hours, your lack of flight leathers begins to wear on you as you become colder and colder.

‘Diomat, how close to town can you get me?’ You ask your dragon hoping that you can finish of this tiring day with a warm cup of hot chocolate. 

‘I can take you to the edge of the woods. Due to the civilians, they ask the dragons not to get too close and scare them. If you walk the path, then you should be at the town in about ten minutes from what Chradh says.’ She confirms down your bond.

You look down giving the back of your dragon’s neck a raised eyebrow as you hear her mention Chradh.

‘Why are you speaking with Chradh all of a sudden?’ Your eyes narrowing in suspicion. 

You hear a huff of amusement in your mind before she replies. ‘I suppose because his rider keeps pestering him about my whereabouts, and therefore yours as well.’

You can’t help the snarking laugh that you let out while Diomat begins to descend into the woods. ‘Well how about you just let him know you’re going back to the valley and leave me out of this one.’

As you begin walking away, Diomat huffs a blast of steam at you before nudging you with her maw. You glance back at her and give a wide smile.

As you begin your walk into town, the anger seems to bleed out of you again as you enjoy the day-to-day activities of the people around you. Soon enough, you find yourself outside of the café again and a smile breaks across your face as you see Fabien wave you in from the window. 

“Come in.” He says as he steps out from behind the counter. “I didn’t expect to see you in here so soon.”

“I didn’t anticipate a visit today, but I’m in need of a warm beverage.” You admit. “Preferably, one of those delicious hot chocolates.” You say sheepishly.

A genuine smile breaks across Fabien’s face.  “Of course, that’s no problem at all.”

You watch as Fabien disappears behind the counter to make your hot chocolate. Settling into the chair, you let your head fall to stretch your neck muscles from the flight and take a deep breath. Suddenly you feel someone tapping on your shoulder and you go to move your head expecting to see Fabien looking back at you.

Looking up, you are met with a pair of light green eyes. The snarl that formed on your lips was purely instinctive. Why couldn’t this little group just leave you alone when you wanted to be alone?

“Why can’t you all just go the fuck away?” You sighed exaggeratedly.

“Because you are going to stay seated and listen whether you like it or not.” You can’t help but roll your eyes at the commanding tone that Imogen takes. 

“Well, I don’t like it. So how about I don’t listen.” You were in no mood to listen to anything the girl in front of you had to say.

“Look, I’m not here for you. I’m here because I love Garrick.” You can’t help the way your eyes widen and look back at Imogen when she finishes her statement.

“Oh-kay.” You say unsure on how to proceed. “We aren’t together, so I’m unsure as to why you need to talk to me about him. If you want to tell him you love him, shouldn’t you be saying that to him.”

Imogen rolls her eyes at you while beginning to sit in the seat across from yours. 

“The bastard is more than aware of my feelings.” She replies tersely. “But that doesn’t matter when he only has eyes for you.”

“I know that Xaden has already talked to you.” She goes on to explain and you quirk your eyebrow at the girl in front of you. “Don’t look so surprised, we all talk. Besides, its time to get off your high dragon and forgive the man.”

“Excuse me.” You say incredulously. You honestly can’t believe Imogen would have the gall to say that considering she wants to be with Garrick.

“Look, I get it. He was an asshole. Welcome to Garrick and his best friend Xaden for that matter. If you wanted the sweet one, you should’ve gone for Bodhi.” She continues. “I know Xaden told you that Garrick was doing what he thought was best, but it wasn’t only that.”

“He was doing what he wished he could’ve done for his own family. His mother. He’s always pushed women away because of losing his mom, but you somehow broke through that barrier. You’re the only girl I’ve ever seen him care about as more than just a friend or good fuck.”

“I’m not saying you should give him a free pass.” Imogen admits. “But I am telling you to let him in. Let him grovel and work for you. He needs that, needs you, just like Riorson needs Violet.”

You let your gaze bore into Imogen’s and see the hard set of her face and eyes, even though she can’t hide the flash of pain. In that moment, you can’t help but hate the whole situation that seems to have formed between the three of you.

“Imogen, I’ll give what you’ve said some thought.” You say seriously. “But I want you to know I am sorry. I never meant to show up and take anything from you, regardless of if you believe me or not.”

Pale green eyes look straight at you and a sad smile crosses her face fast before it falls, and she moves to get up. 

“Don’t throw away a chance at happiness over some heated words.” She urges before sharply turning and walking out of the doors. 

As she walks off, Fabien shows up with your hot chocolate and a small smile. You thank him and take a sip relishing the way the warmth of the drink seems to flow through your body. 

As you finish your drink and bid Fabien good night, you begin your walk back to the fortress and let Imogen’s words ruminate. Between her and Xaden, you could feel the anger in your heart for Garrick lessening day by day. 

As soon as you arrive back at the fortress, you look up to see the man with the auburn curls from the assembly looking back at you.

“Ah, just who I wanted to see.” He says and you look around checking to see if anyone else is there. 

“Yes, Cadet L/N. I’m speaking to you. I just have a few more questions to ask.” He explains as he beckons you back into the same room you were in earlier. 

You look around and notice that now you are the only two in the room that was previously filled. He turns back around to look at you and motions to a chair.

You sit as he begins to speak. “I’m Lieutenant Colonel Aisereigh. I know we didn’t get to introductions earlier.”

“No, he’s my brother, Brennan Sorrengail.” A female voice breaks in from the doorway. You watch as the man in front of you rolls his eyes as Violet moves into the room as well. 

“Either way, I wanted to ask you about your signet.” Brennan continues. “You said that you used it to drop onto the wyvern but didn’t explain what exactly it was.”

You look around at both people in the room and can’t help the uncertainty you feel at revealing your secret, even Carr wasn’t privy to all that your signet could do.

“I can change my appearance.” You begin to explain. Both of the faces in front of you widen in shock as you begin to detail the fact that you can change your entire body and clothing to replicate anyone. 

“With encouragement from Diomat, I – uh – I shifted to look like a venin I remembered from a book that was read to me growing up.” You say tentatively.

“Tha -That’s incredible.” Brennan speaks up after the shock begins to wear off. “And the wyvern didn’t think anything of you being on top of it while shifted to look like a venin?”

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t think so, but I wasn’t there long before I sliced the blade into it.”

As you look back at the man in front of you, you can’t help as you watch the gears in his head turn through his eyes. 

“Could you show us?” He asks curiously.

“I can.” You reply in turn. “But – “

“But, what?”

“You have to remember that it’s me and not an acutal venin.” You croak worried that you’re about to be seen as a threat.

“Understood.” He confirms as Violet goes to stand next to him. 

After taking a long deep breath, you reach for Diomat’s power and let it flow through your body. You let your mind drift to the illustration in the book and feel as your fingers tingle. When you look back up, you see two sets of eyes as wide as saucers and know what it must look like to the people standing in front of you. 

Before anyone has time to speak, the door to the Assembly room opens and you can sense two people have entered. 

“Violence, I –“ The voice stops and suddenly you feel yourself being hoisted up by your throat, your hands reflexively going up to try and grab at the obstruction. However, when you try, there’s nothing to grab onto and you’re left kicking and flailing your arms. As the fear of being held begins to grip you, the hold on your power leaves and you’ve changed back into yourself.

“Xaden! Stop!” You hear Violet shout a second before you are dropped to the floor. You try to take a breath, but the fear has you in a cloud you can’t escape. You hear footsteps rushing towards you as you continue to take gasping breaths, your hands wrapping gently around your neck. 

“Y/N. Love, are you alright?” You shrink back as inescapable fear comes barreling in and your eyes blow wide. You look back into hazel eyes, seeing pure concern laced there. 

After what feels like hours, your heartrate finally slows again, and you can take full breaths. Looking up, the room around you feels frozen in time. Looks of horror and sorrow gracing each person’s face. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Xaden breathes quietly as if afraid to speak. You sit there with your hand around your neck and stare straight back at the man not really registering his words. 

“I – I’m going to go upstairs.” You croak through your abused vocal cords. You try to slowly get up on your feet and as soon as you’re standing, you feel your legs giving out. Before you can fall to the ground, you can feel a strong arm grip you around your waist. 

Looking to your side, you see Garrick looking back at you cataloging each blossoming bruise on your neck. His brows furrow as his concern grows. You can feel the bruising already and know that they must be turning a mottled shade of purple. 

Before you can think much more, you find yourself being scooped up into Garrick’s arms as his face turns hard and he begins walking up the stairs. Even though you are tense, you try to let yourself settle into his arms. You close your eyes for a second and before you know it, you can feel Garrick dropping to a bed with you still cradled close. 

“Why does it always seem that my family and I are always hurting you?” He rumbles lowly while dropping his head.

“It wasn’t Xaden’s fault.” You rasp, your voice feeling like its grating against sandpaper.

Garrick looks back at you and brings his hand to your chin, tilting your neck up. Soon the blue green of his hazel eyes disappears, and they become a molten shade of gold, hard and angry. 

“I’m going to fucking kill him.” He seethes as you watch him catalog the bruises along your neck. A sad smile blooms on your face and you bring your hand to his jaw, moving his face to look directly at you. You shake your head no before swallowing hard to speak.

“It wasn’t his fault. I knew it would be a risk to show them. I just didn’t think anyone would walk into the room before I could change back.” You finish before you end up coughing trying to coat the damage to your vocal cords.

As you finish, you feel the way Garrick’s face nuzzles into the hand that is still placed along his jaw. You look up to see his eyes closed as if he is trying to drink up every moment. A lost man wandering the desert for a drink of water.

Something about the gesture causes a crack in the wall that you’d built around your heart for the man that still has you cradled close. You realize that this is the first time you’ve seen the worry, tension, and stress melt from his face since War Games. 

A sudden knock at the door brings you both out of the moment. Garrick looks down at you and as if he can’t resist, brings his lips to the side of your head and gives you a quick kiss. He then sets you down gently on the bed and goes to open the door. 

“I thought Y/N could use some mending.” You hear a male voice call from the other side of the door. You watch as Garrick nods his head slightly before opening the door and letting Brennan in. Brennan shuffles in and with sad eyes looks at the bruises across your neck.

“Would it be okay with you if I mend you?” Brennan asks tentatively. You give a curt nod before he is standing before you and you tilt you head back for him to get a better view of your neck. You shut your eyes tight as the tears silently flow down the side of your head, the burning sensation of mending filling your head. 

Almost as soon as it begins, the pain seems to lessen slowly, little by little. You finally blink open your eyes and slowly lift your head back. 

“Better?” Brennan questions as he rises back up to his full height. 

“Much. Thank you.” You confirm.

“I know after what just happened, you may want to say no.” Brennan starts. “But I think it would be beneficial for everyone to get the visual of what they may be dealing with on the battlefield.”

You know where he’s going with his comment and your immediate response is to shake your head. However, wading through the panic, the logic starts to win out and you take a deep breath. 

“Would you mind doing the same thing when most of the Lieutenants and all the cadets are present? The Assembly all agrees that it would be best for everyone to have a real feel of the enemy.” Brennan finishes in a tactician’s voice.

You go to open your mouth, but you’re immediately cut off. 

“NO. You can fuck right off if you think she’s going to do that again.” Garrick growls while stepping into Brennan’s space. “Did you not just see what fucking happened? And then you want to put her in a room with untrained cadets who don’t even know how to use their signets and hope someone doesn’t have a bad reaction.”

Undeterred by Garrick’s reaction, Brennan calmly responds to the threat in front of him. “I understand your reservations Garrick and hers as well, which is why Bodhi and Mira will be on hand to make sure that no one responds the same way.”

You stand from the bed you were seated on and walk up to the two men that are still looking at each other trying to calculate who is going to make the next move. Instinctually, you raise your hand and place a comforting hand on Garrick’s forearm. You can’t help but feel the tense set of his muscles and crack a soft smile to reassure the hulking man.

“Gare.” You say and his eyes immediately dart to you as you use the nickname for the first time in months. “Brennan is right. Everyone needs to see what they’re going to be facing. It’s better than sending everyone out without having any idea.”

Garrick’s eyes search yours looking for any hesitation, seeming to hope that you aren’t really considering this. Immediately his shoulders sag when he realizes that you’re serious. 

“I’ll just need some forewarning to get myself in the right headspace, so maybe not the next couple of days.” You confirm with Brennan as he shakes his head in agreement.

“You’ll wait until I’m back here.” Garrick asserts as his eyes dart back and forth between you and Brennan. “You’ll do it after I’m back from patrol. She isn’t going to do it without me being present.”

You roll your eyes at his protective demands but you’re grateful that he’ll be there, if only for a sense of safety. 

“That can work. We will do it during a battle brief class and will catch the lieutenants while they are switching patrols.” Brennan affirms while he begins to walk towards the door.

You both watch as Brennan leaves and closes the door behind him. Garrick immediately moves forward to you lifting your chin to check for any lingering bruising. 

“I’m fine.” You say quietly to try and quell the anxiety burning in his eyes.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He quips back.

“You do realize that we’re both about to be thrown into a war that most likely will take both of our lives, right?” You sass back, getting irritated with his hovering. 

“Not if I can fucking help it.” He grumbles at you. You snort and roll your eyes at the over-confident man that he’s turned into again.

“Promise me you won’t do that again, unless absolutely necessary.” The earnestness in his eyes a plea for you to listen. “I don’t want you to be a victim just because someone can’t decipher you from friend or foe.”

You sigh and let your gaze soften. “You don’t think I already know that shifting myself to look like a venin is dangerous? You can ask Brennan or Violet, but I was hesitant with them both before I did it. And what followed just proved why my theory was correct.”

“You of all people should know that I’m smarter than that. I wouldn’t shift into that form unless absolutely necessary. Brennan just asked to see why the wyvern didn’t react to my landing on its back, so I showed them.”

Realization dawning on him seems to do nothing to quell the fire in his eyes. Fire to protect and shield evident on every line of his face. You realize that no words seem to be cracking through the thick skull of the man in front of you, so you utilize your best weapon, your touch.

You bring your hands to his face, cupping each side and rubbing soothing circles on his stubbled cheeks. He takes a deep sighing breath and his gaze bores deep into you. 

“I don’t think you understand how terrified I am of the actual reality of your death.” He divulges as both of his arms snake around your waist tugging you to him. “Ever since I laid eyes on you again, I wake up every day busting through my door to search for just a glimpse of your form.”

“Having to face a reality again where you aren’t there is the absolute worst thing I can honestly imagine.” He brings his forehead to yours leaning in and breathing a deep, calming breath. 

A sad smile begins to crawl across his face. “And being so close to you, but far away at the same time is eating at me more than you know.”

You give him a sad smile back in return. “I know.” You whisper, your walls cracking even more with the tenderness and vulnerability seeping from Garrick’s every fiber.

“I need you to know that I’m working on it.” You tell him while bringing your hands down to grab his own, rubbing gentle circles on his knuckles. “We aren’t there yet, but I can promise you the more you let me in, the more you show up for us, then eventually maybe we can get back to before.”

Garrick’s eyes search yours, probing for an alternate meaning. You just look back at him with the honesty you feel at his words. You’re unsure of what you’re looking for to be able to let him completely in again, but you know that you just aren’t in the right space at this moment.

__________

Taglist: @smashee0789 @batboygirlie @gayandfairycore

[crimsoncandy04]

The cucking scara is so hot, I'd like to see more😍😍😍

Wanderer had been at this stupid game of his for hours now and while his former self had suffered great humiliation from it, you felt like you were the one who actually got the short end of the stick.

Fucked, teased, overstimulated, used, etc. Wanderer had basically turned you into just another tool to punish Scaramouche for his sins.

And even now that you were sure an entire day had gone by, Wanderer was still nowhere close to finished it would seem.

Both you and Scaramouche had had your arms bound behind your backs in the most uncomfortable way as Wanderer kept a fist in either of your hair and held both of you in place on your knees.

You licked the base of his cock and trailed your tongue slowly up his shaft as Scaramouche swirled against Wanderer's soft pink tip with his. You'd tease at his balls while Scaramouche would take him ever so slightly between his lips and suck now and then too.

This has gone on for a while now. With both of you being forced to worship Wanderer's cock as if it were the most pristine phallus in existence and after everything else before this, you were now tired and a little angry.

Why did Wanderer have to drag you into this shit show?

Because he had once liked you a little when he himself was originally Scaramouche?

Apparently it meant nothing now if he was just going to keep abusing you like this to piss off his other self.

Suddenly Wanderer's sharp gaze met yours. A flicker of sympathy briefly crossed his eyes as he saw your exhausted and unhappy expression before he pushed it away and gave you a rather smug look.

"I always knew you'd look so beautiful like this Y/N. Face a wreck, kneeling before me." His fingers in your hair loosened a little as he pulled you to your feet suddenly and slid his arm down to your lower back. He urged you closer to him and before you could process what was happening, Wanderer had forced his lips against yours.

"You piece of shi-" Scaramouche briefly tried to protest before Wanderer shoved his entire length down his throat. Silencing him before he could say more.

Wanderer then began to move his hips a little as he fucked into Scara's mouth while kissing you.

His tongue teased your bottom lip, softly asking for permission to enter before gently pushing in and meeting yours in a passionate manner.

This was the nicest he had been to you since you were brought here by him. You didn't know why he was trying to suddenly get all lovey dovey with you but you didn't want it.

Wanderer could tell.

And he was NOT happy about it.

But it had been his fault after all. Hadn't it? He had been about to confront his former identity before suddenly getting this idea and summoning you there but did he ever stop and think about how this may have effected you?

Not really.

He had to change his focus.

Instead of punishing Scaramouche he would work on pleasuring you next.

That other useless version of him could wait for now.

Channeling the power of anemo Wanderer was able to send Scaramouche tumbling backwards in an instant with his cock slipping from his mouth with a wet popping sound as he hit the ground.

Next Wanderer used his vision to create small "rings " of a sort that whirled around Scaramouche's wrists and ankles at a speed that made them appear completely still as they held him in place on the floor.

Once Scaramouche was safely restrained Wanderer then began to lavish attention on you.

He continued to support your back as his other hand came up tangle itself in your hair again as he held you close.

You could feel his hardness against your exposed pussy that remained unclothed and still dripping from earlier torments as Wanderer slowly continued to make out with you there for a few minutes before sending you tumbling on your back too.

You landed with a small thud next to Scaramouche and tried for a second to sit up but Wanderer had speed that surpassed human beings and in the blink of an eye he was on you.

"Shh, relax Y/N. I want you to enjoy this part a little." He purred as he pulled your knees further apart and positioned himself between them.

Wanderer kisses you again. Moving down then as he left a small trail from your neck to your chest. Stopping as he got to your breasts and grasping one in the palm of his hand. He took the other in his mouth, gently sucking on the sensitive flesh of your nipple and causing you to cry out a little as his teeth nibbled softly in between careful licks.

"They're so sensitive Y/N. And big too. Almost like they were made for this. Made for me~" Wanderer teased as he continued to play with you. Scaramouche grunted a little beside you as he tried to avert his gaze but his excruciating erection underneath his clothes gave away his true desires.

Wanderer was being uncharacteristically nice and it bothered you.

What was he planning?

You could feel his cock at your entrance then.

You felt your body tense up.

Not again.

Wanderer just smirked at you.

"You should have known that I was going to do this Y/N."

He slid his cock into your tight cunt easily. You gasped softly.

"Don't act so surprised. You know you're the most important thing to me."

Wanderer begins to thrust into you. He starts slow until he finds your sweet spot. Then he begins to move a little faster. Hitting your g spot with reckless abandon as his words fell upon your ears like a forbidden truth.

"So in having you like this... maybe I'll finally be able to reach the deepest depths of my being..."

You moan loudly as Wanderer holds you close and continues to pound into you as Scaramouche looks on longingly from beside you. He looks like he's absolutely seething as a wet spot forms upon the fabric of his shorts. Yet Wanderer shows no mercy as he continues to fuck into your pussy while Scaramouche lays next to you both bitter and aroused.

"and finally get a message through to myself"

Wanderer held you in a tight embrace as he slammed into you. Keeping his eyes on Scaramouche who seemed to finally realize that it was pointless to protest at this point and silently waited for Wanderer to finish with you.

You would be fucked for most of the night. Your belly swollen ever so slightly after Wanderer finally gets bored from how much he would ejaculate into your womb as he forced Scaramouche to listen to it all unable to have you himself.

It was a twisted revenge.

A lustful act of self hatred that you were now the key in.

How long Wanderer would want to keep it going?

You were unsure.

Perhaps as long as it took him to finally forgive himself for everything he had destroyed in his existence.

[buckiverse]

☆--- summary: you went out to a club, and it took an unexpected turn when you spotted athlete!sylus, the man you can't seem to avoid. Is it a coincidence, or is he just everywhere you go?

☆--- a/n: athlete!sylus is taking over my brain...

You shouldn’t be going out tonight, but you couldn’t say no when Tara invited you. It was the first time in forever that someone had pulled you away from your constant grind of training, case studies, and class. The local club near campus was always buzzing on a Friday night, and here you were, questioning why you had agreed to come instead of staying in to catch up on everything you had to do.

"I know it’s not really your thing, but try to have fun with me!" Tara shouted over the music, her excitement infectious.

You managed a smile. "Girl, of course! Let’s have fun."

The club was exactly what you expected—dark, slightly dingy, with bright strobing lights that made the sticky floors and faint smell of spilled drinks a little more bearable. People crowded around more than they danced, but it was still early, barely midnight.

Tara led the way to the bar, effortlessly weaving through the group of people. She ordered something colorful and sweet, and you opted for a shot to shake off the weird, anxious feeling you couldn’t pinpoint.

Maybe it was the week catching up to you—training, school, and the guy who had somehow taken up space in your mind.

Sylus.

You hadn’t even spoken to him beyond that moment—a quick, half-snarky exchange in the law building after you accidentally collided with him. But you couldn’t help how your eyes searched for him every time you walked in as if you might spot him again.

So, when you saw him across the room, leaning against a table with his usual calm, unbothered air, you nearly choked.

He stood out even here. It wasn’t just his height, though that was hard to miss. It was how he seemed completely at ease as if this crowded, chaotic club was just another room he’d decided to occupy for a while. Two men, maybe twins, surrounded him if their matching outfits were anything to go by.

"Okay, I’m heading to the dance floor! Join me when you’re done!" Tara’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. She winked before disappearing into the sea of people, leaving you alone with your thoughts—and the view of Sylus.

You told yourself to look away, to mind your own business, but it was like some magnetic pull kept your gaze on him. What was he even doing here? He didn’t strike you as the guy who hit up clubs on the weekend.

Or maybe you didn’t know him at all.

The shot must’ve hit you harder than expected because, before you realized it, you were walking toward him. It wasn’t a decision you made—it was instinct or maybe a lapse in judgment.

By the time you reached him, Sylus had already noticed you. His sharp red eyes flicked to yours, a hint of recognition sparking in his expression.

"Hey," you said, your voice raised to be heard over the music, though your nerves threatened to betray you.

His smirk was instant, crooked, and a little too knowing. "Didn’t think I’d see you here," he said, his tone teasing.

You folded your arms, suddenly feeling defensive. "Why’s that?"

"Thought you’d be too busy watching where you’re going," he joked, the grin spreading just enough to make you want to wipe it off his face—and maybe laugh at the same time.

Your jaw dropped. "You’re seriously still on about that?"

He shrugged, leaning casually against the table. "It was a memorable first impression."

"Well, I don’t even know your name," you shot back, trying to regain some ground.

He tilted his head, clearly amused. "Sylus," he said smoothly. "But I was starting to think you’d never ask."

You rolled your eyes, trying not to let his charm get under your skin. "Y/N," you replied, crossing your arms. "So, what’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?"

Sylus chuckled, his gaze flicking briefly to the two men beside him. "Apparently, letting my teammates drag me out for ‘team bonding.’ Not sure this is what they meant."

His words caught you off guard, and you laughed before you could stop yourself. Standing there with him, bantering like this, was easier than you thought it’d be.

"Well," you said, your confidence returning, "don’t let me stop you from bonding."

He didn’t look away, his smirk softening into something almost unreadable. "Maybe I won’t."

The crowd seemed to blur around you for a moment, and you swore his eyes lingered on you just a second too long.

[rubyin-wonderland]

Jealous Boy

opla!Zoro x gn!reader

Summary: When your drink is taking too long to make, a stranger makes his intentions known. Zoro isn't pleased.

WC: 1.9k

Warnings/tags: getting hit on, jealous Zoro

The bar has never been your scene. You aren't exactly fond of alcohol and while you can enjoy a lively locale, bars just don't do it for you. You'll put up with a few drinks for your crew, as long as everyone else is drinking as well, but that's it.

You know Zoro likes to drink. However, his social preference leans toward sitting alone nursing a bottle, instead of sipping from a glass surrounded by fellow drunks.

For the sake of the crew, the both of you go to bars whenever asked. The two of you rarely go out of your way to call attention to yourselves, but you have fun nonetheless.

You sit up at the bar, waiting for your drink. Everyone else is waiting at the table for you to rejoin them, but you've put in a complicated order apparently, so you must wait.

At first, Zoro had stayed with you, but when it was clear you would be staying there for a while, you urged him to go back with the others while you waited.

The wait has been long, and you wonder if the bartender is even trying to get something for you at all when you feel a presence at your side.

A stranger has sat down next to you. He's around your age and clearly local. You offer him a half hearted smile and turn away, trying not to engage.

You aren't exactly a big talker. At least not to drunken strangers at bars.

He orders his drink and it arrives almost immediately. You try not to look offended when his drink arrives and you begin to question if anyone is even working on your drink in the first place.

The man next to you taps the bar and a bartender arrives almost instantly, practically summoned to your neighbors call. "Get my friend here something too, okay?"

The bartender looks at you and you realize after one long second of blank staring that he's waiting for you to order. You repeat what you want and the bartender immediately gets to work, instead of ducking behind the counter and ignoring you like you hadn't even ordered.

"Thanks." You mumble to the stranger.

"No problem." He gives you a friendly smile and this time you feel as though you should put some actual effort into smiling back.

"So, what's someone like you doing in a place like this?" The line is overused, and less than enticing, but you entertain him anyways. "I'm trying to drink. The day is behind me, and so are my faults."

The stranger smiles as the bartender arrives with your drink, and you thank him.

You turn to leave, to go back to your friends, but the stranger speaks up again. "You're not from here." You turn to face him again. "Good catch." "How long are you staying?" His tone is getting more suggestive than you'd like.

"I'm staying for as long as my boat is docked." "Will it be docked," a suggestive grin appears on his face, "overnight?" He raises an eyebrow and you lean back, surprised and a little taken aback at his confidence. "What are you implying?" You ask, raising a brow.

"I think you know." He winks and you resist the urge to run away. "If you're up for it now, we can finish our drinks and leave before things get rowdy in here." You laugh at his advance, mostly out of shock. "Wow. You are something."

Zoro watches this whole interaction like a hawk. He has positioned himself at the table to assure the best view of you while you wait for your drink. Instead, he's forced to watch some idiot attempt to flirt with you. His eyes are laser focused on the stranger's head. He wants to put that man on his ass for even talking to you. For sidling up to you and convincing the bartender to fix your drink, unlike the one that ducked behind a curtain immediately after taking your order.

He watches the man's lips, deciphering the words as they come out. He sees the man call you "his friend" to get you your drink faster. He sees the cheesy pick up line and has to stop himself from grimacing at the rather pathetic attempts at wooing you. He sees the smile crossing the stranger's face and feels palpable disgust at the sight of it.

Worry sinks through his stomach and spreads through his veins as he tries to see any indication of reciprocity on your end. Your back is facing him. He's terrified that this man has managed to charm you, knowing full well he's not the most romantic of partners. He's no charmer, but you picked him, he picked you, and that is worth your loyalty.

Nami briefly snaps him out of his anger fueled trance. "Zoro. Did you hear a thing I just said?"

He frowns at her for breaking his concentration. "No. What?" "I wanted to know if our missing crewmate," she gestures at the empty spot in between him and Usopp in the booth, "has a drink yet. Since you insisted on facing the bar, I thought you'd know."

"Yeah, the drink's there. But some asshole is being chatty."

Nami raises an eyebrow and turns to look, seeing your conversation. "Jealous?" She tries to ask, just in time for Zoro to read the words "docked overnight" on the man's lips, a flirtatious eyebrow raise added to the words. What is he proposing? Zoro feels an extra bout of rage when he hears your surprised laugh. His vision is nearly red. In an act of necessity, he pushes out of the booth, trying to look as calm and collected as he can while he pushes through the bar, eventually ending up behind you.

"If you think I'm something now, just wait." The stranger gives you a sly grin that looks a little wrong, before it slides off his face completely. His eyes focus on something behind you. You turn to look, and a wave of relief hits you to see Zoro standing there.

You notice almost immediately that his hand is not at his side, or lazily hung over the hilt of his blade, but gripping it, as if ready to pull it out and demonstrate his swordsmanship in front of the entire bar.

"Hey Zoro, what's up?" You ask as kindly as you can, hoping he's there to bring you back to the table.

"We were wondering what was taking you so long." He says, his voice as level as he can keep it. "Oh, I just got caught up in conversation. No big deal." You give the stranger a false apologetic smile and reach down to pick up your drink.

"My offer stands for as long as I'm here." He slips a small piece of paper across the bar, his hand grazing yours as the paper slips under the pads of your fingers. Next to you, Zoro straightens up a little more, trying to look bigger, more intimidating. Like a threat. Because he is. The only physical thing keeping that man from a bunch of broken bones is you.

Your hand retreats, pulling the paper up with it, and carrying the drink closer to you, not even muttering a goodbye. Only turning back to give him a half smile just as Zoro shoots another death glare his way.

On the walk back to the table, you tap Zoro's hand with the death grip on his sword. "Relax." You order. He lets go, the tension still present in his hand. "Thanks for getting me." You smile, for real this time. "I was not having fun."

That lightens Zoro's mood. At least you didn't like the stranger too. It makes him feel a little proud for seeing it.

You slide into the booth without much fanfare, there's acknowledgement, but the conversations continue pretty quickly without you.

"You don't have to be such a jealous boy, Roronoa." You murmur under your breath, your hand gently patting his leg under the table. He's still tense, and his eyes keep shooting back to the bar, where the man frequently glances back at you. Zoro has shifted slightly closer to you about five separate times.

Zoro stiffens at your accusation. "Excuse you?" "Stop looking at that man at the bar. I'm not sitting with him anymore. I'm right here. Looking at you. Not him. You "

He grunts in return, slipping just a tiny bit closer to you, pushing the limits for his sheaths. They're starting to tug on the fabric of the booth, so he opts to tug you closer to him, an arm around your waist, pulling you even closer.

You pull the paper out of your pocket and set it on the table. "Are you worried about this?" You unfold it, revealing an address. Likely to the man's house. "You don't have to worry, Zoro. That's one hell of a walk. I'd never go for it."

He rolls his eyes and you laugh at him. One loud, short noise. "I wasn't going to accept his offer, if you were afraid that was ever going to happen."

"I wasn't afraid of that." He scoffs, looking away from both you and the man at the bar. "Sure you weren't." Your arms are crossed as you sit back lazily in the seat.

"Don't say it like that. I knew you wouldn't." "Sure you did."

He rolls his eyes again, and you refrain from joking about how he could fix a wagon with the amount his eyes were rolling.

Instead, you decide to play a game. "Though, he did seem quite charming. Perhaps I'll go see if he can get me a second round?" You swirl your drink, which is still half full, but the ice rattles against the glass.

You move to stand but you're pulled down. Two hands, one on each side of your waist, settle you back into the seat, right next to Zoro, closer than before, if that was even possible.

"Not so fast." He says, pulling you even closer, so that your leg presses against his. He speaks as if he has just volunteered to save you from an active volcano. "I can get your drinks."

"And leave me alone at the table? What if a handsome young man approaches me? You won't be here to fend him off." You tease, resting your chin on his shoulder, a wicked grin on your face.

"You're impossible." "Come on, Zoro." You loop your arm through his, running your hand lightly along his forearms. "You like the challenge. It makes you feel stronger when you win."

You press a feather light kiss to his cheek. "And you did, by the way." He furrows his brow in confusion. "You won. I don't even remember what that guy at the bar looks like."

A proud smile makes its way to his face. "You're right. I do feel stronger." He puffs his chest up a bit and you suppress a giggle at the action.

"Don't worry about losing." You now snake your arm around him, pressing ever closer, until there's no space left in between your bodies. You even cross your ankle with his, touching all the way from your shoulders to your heels "I don't think you can."

He smiles at you as you take a sip of the drink, crumpling up the piece of paper slipped to you at the bar, discarding it on the floor, to be trampled on by a million feet. "You have my heart Zoro. Only you."

[herinsectreflection]

I have been struggling with whether or not to talk about why I've not been updating much lately. On one hand, I know I don't owe anybody anything. This is not my job, I do this for my own enjoyment and I am entitled to post as often or infrequently as I like. On the other hand, I am addicted to Explaining Things, that's why I'm planning to write 300k words about an old TV show I really like. So here, here are the reasons. I'm hoping that by writing them down my brain will stop latching onto them as sources of anxiety. 1) I got a job that I care about. I won't tell you what I do, but I will tell you that I work in a hospital. It takes a lot of mental energy, and unlike previous jobs, I no longer have the time or inclination to sneakily write essays in my downtime. Which sucks. I hate caring about the thing I'm paid for. It leaves less care for the things I'm not paid for.

2) Speaking of getting paid - I cancelled my ko-fi a few months ago. As much as I truly felt supported and humbled by the people who gave my money, I think it didn't help. Writing began to feel like something I owed the people who gave me money, rather than something I was doing because I wanted to.

3) I got into a polyamorous relationship. You ever tried to have free time while polyamorous? 'Nuff said.

4) I introduced one of my (then) partners to Buffy, and we ended up watching S3 while I was also trying to write about S3. I ended up oversaturated on S3. The most fun I had writing the earlier essays was when new ideas would hit me as I was watching. S3 doesn't feel as fresh to me, and so I don't feel eager to get to it.

5) In regards to S3, I've definitely been putting a lot of pressure on myself to say something particularly interesting and unique about it, since it is, you know, The Faith Season, and I have been branded The Faith Explainer. It's a lot of pressure for something that objectively does not matter at all. But that's anxiety disorders for you.

6) I have started new hobbies, new sports, and regular therapy. Which is all wonderful and has enriched my life, but it takes up free weekends rather quickly.

7) Speaking of therapy - you know that tweet that's like "I started new meds and now I'm not obsessed with BTS anymore"? There's a little of that going on I'm not going to lie.

8) Hyperfixations change and apparently I have not been fixating on Buffy for a little while. It's a lot easier to sink hours and hours into something when your brain has decided that that is all it wants to sink its time into.

9) I had major surgery 18 months ago and that has not not been a factor.

10) This post, I got three paragraphs into the Consequences essay and then decided to start Posting. I don't control these things.

11) ANXIETY

[sh00t4th3m00n]

I just realized something and I need to fume for a second.

Ok so we all remember Mr. Puzzles' dad's reaction when Little Puzzles told him about wanting to own an amusement park:

But then he says this immediately after:

At first I was confused because I thought these two lines sounded contradictory. Like, you just said his dream of owning an amusement park was childish, but wait, now it's suddenly this elite, respectable, super-aspirational thing that's only possible with "CrEaTiVe ViSiOn," which is apparently such a high bar that Little Puzzles will "never have it?" You get what I'm saying?

But then it hit me: he's bullcrapping and 100% aware he's bullcrapping. He doesn't care about "creative vision" or think that highly of it, BUT he knows Little Puzzles DOES care about it. He cares about it a lot. And he uses it to present his shooting down of his dream in a way he knows Little Puzzles will understand and take to heart. Even if he himself doesn't share the mindset that gives it its bite because it's what'll get Little Puzzles to shut up. (And maybe this is me being overanalytical, but I feel like you can even see it in his pose when he says it. Like he's doing the "waving your hands in a sarcastically whimsical way" move, you know the one. That one line just oozes condescension.) Like it wasn't enough to voice his distaste for Puzzles' dream; he had to make him feel bad for even having it just to really cement it. Like he learned to speak Little Puzzles' language just enough to tell him his dreams were stupid.

And it makes me HATE THIS MAN EVEN MORE.

[zannolin]

okay more things from the kids' audio commentary because i'm back at it again

during one of their early days of filming during the opening scenes, william moseley convinced skandar to try to eat the fake glass

i'm still not over them blindfolding georgie so her first take on the narnia set was really her first ever time seeing it

someone had to be inside the wardrobe physically blowing out lucy's candle and apparently it took a ton of takes fhdsjhfk

we have discussed many a time how skandar had to eat like 35 pieces of turkish delight during takes with the witch but apparently one time they brought out fake turkish delight and skandar didn't know and TRIED TO EAT PLEXIGLASS

they only made two of the goblet props from the scene with the witch so every take of ginnabrik throwing it involved the props guy standing off-camera and catching it aka getting hot chocolate ALL OVER HIM because he didn't want to break the prop. #dedication

georgie henley described edmund as being like a dog forgiving its master when the witch snaps at him during the end of that first scene together. i'm SICK.

apparently during one take in the professor's study (i think?) anna improvised saying something like "oh shut up you know i'm smarter than you" to william. maybe it was the other way around? but it was the two of them

skandar loved the woman's coat he had to wear unlike his character who hated it lmao

and yeah so my fav shot of peter falling down in the snow and grinning was apparently william falling on some exposed nail or bit of wood and grimacing because it hurt like a bitch but i thank him for his sacrifice in creating my favorite tiny moment in the entire movie

georgie during the beaversdam scene: yeah i tried to eat a pencil during a rehearsal of this. because it tasted good

georgie repeatedly emphasizing she feels bad for james (tumnus) in the witch's dungeon scene "BUT NOT SKANDAR."

when they were running from the witch georgie tripped and went flying and william didn't even notice at first because she was so small

they covered the legs of father christmas' reindeer with snow to make them LOOK white like the witch's so everyone would think it was the witch chasing them, but if you look you can see they're brown. DETAILS!

during the river scene (i'm crying laughing over this) andrew adamson was doing the lines for the wolf opposite william so he was literally on his hands and knees going like "what's it going to be son of adam" while william moseley had to play it totally straight. bonkers

they had a swear bucket that georgie heavily enforced which i knew but what i DIDN'T know is they made william pay like $50 or something because his phone went off on set, and half of it was because they didn't like his ringtone. brilliant

there were all these details on set like aslan's face being carved into the furniture in his camp!!!

they used a polystyrene model of aslan for reference in a lot of the takes and skandar was apparently writing messages on it all the time

andrew adamson during the battle scene: yeah it was at this point during the screening you could see william turning to his girlfriend being like "i'm an action hero!" william: "...you weren't meant to REVEAL THAT :/"

william actually got stabbed in the arm during his fight with the witch when she pins peter to the ground (this was not supposed to happen)

horn caps!!! i was already told this but i'm still like weeee lucy gave tumnus his horn caps :) they did that :)

skandar getting hit with cricket balls not once but TWICE on accident this movie.

god. i love this movie an unREASONABLE amount can you tell.

[astrofhobia]

I tried to help you.

We were never brothers. Pretending our relationship worked was what ended it. You never cared about me, I was aware of that to a certain extent. I pretended to care about you even if you knew better.

You got angry because of that, no, you didn't get angry because I pretended to care about you, you got angry because I wasn't honest with you, because I didn't tell you absolutely everything that was going on in my head.

Maybe things would have been different if they had treated you well, you were alone, trapped in someone else's mind, you felt pain but never showed it.

You were always very proud, Eclipse.

I tried to please you many times, staying extremely still in those analyzes that you did to me all the time. Until now I don't know why you made them. Was something wrong with me? Were you afraid Moon would take control? I guess you'll keep that secret until you actually die.

I was looking for a way to feed your ego and please you because it made me sad that you were alone without anyone congratulating your achievements. You always made me feel sorry for you. You can deceive yourself but you cannot deceive others. You were an artist deceiving others but you never knew how to continue with your lies and people came out of the threads you built around them. You tricked Moon and he tricked you, you tried to bully Sun and he bullied you. You killed me and I killed you.

Don't blame yourself. No one was really nice to you, no wonder you were so cold and empathetic towards me. Until Earth arrived.

She really changed your perception of people, right? You know, I love her, she's my sister. Nothing will make me hate her.

But I'm jealous of her.

She managed to get you out of your bubble without trying, it only took a few soft words for you to stop considering her a threat. You stopped seeing her as a hunting animal, you saw her as a friend.

I tried that many times. But the only thing I received was slaps and insults. You changed with others, but you never did with me.

That's my problem.

I tried to pretend that I didn't care about you. I regretted many times yelling at you, hitting you or disappointing you. I erased those feelings over and over again but they always came back.

I felt like you deserved a hug, a "I'm sorry" many times but I was never able to say it.

I was terrified that you would leave me. All those tests, I was so worried that you would leave me alone like they had left me... But my obsession with the star led me astray.

Maybe if I had been nice to you things would have been different. I mocked you when you betrayed me. But that really hurt me, my own creation stabbed me in the back.

I would have done it too if my creator abused me like that...

I'm not the Eclipse who treated you like that but I don't know how to talk to you without my larynx shutting down. I want to treat you better but our relationship is at the bottom of the sea and I don't know how to start a conversation without sinking further.

At the moment Earth appeared I was so hated by everyone, I was scared when she appeared, she didn't attack me, she didn't ignore me, she tried to be on good terms with me because she didn't know me. He knew what he had done, what he had done to you. But she still approached. She said I could have a second chance if I wanted.

I guess that's when I understood that I could improve.

I moved because I had done so much damage here that trying to walk near daycare or your family became extremely anxious and I hated that feeling.

When I got here I expected everyone to hate me. But apparently, this place is so different and the same at the same time. I feel at home but very far from there.

I try to start something new here, I want to get away from the problems but those problems are still there.

That's my problem.

But I still want to help you.

[slight-gaming-addict]

Hello! Can I please request for prompt 6 one shot with Idia x reader please? Idk if I’m doing this right so please ignore this if I am

~ you're unaware of the past inhabitant still living in your newly bought house ~

pairing: idia shroud x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of a dead body and blood, supernatural elements, gunshot wound, possible grammar errors, probably more warnings

word count: 1.4k

event masterlist | main masterlist | ko-fi

ʜᴀᴜɴᴛᴇᴅ

Everyone you know called you crazy for even thinking of getting a house like this. The cursed house that hasn't had a single owner keep the house for more than a month before it was back on the market again. The real estate agent was ecstatic as she led you through the house after your interest in it, showing you each and every thing that's been done to it over the last year that it's been on the market to try and attract new buyers.

With all the new modern renovations that have been done, you would've thought that it would be at least double the price than it was, and you soon learned why it was so cheap on the market.

Some years ago there was apparently a gruesome murder of a young man that happened in the house, and it's never been the same ever since. Every single person that's stayed in this house has left as quickly as they arrived, claiming that they'd awake to things being thrown around the house and voices echoing throughout making it known that they were not wanted there.

You've never really had a paranormal experience before, but you'd be lying if you weren't the slightest bit curious if the stories about the house are true. You don't have another option anyway, the house being the only place in the neighborhood that's in your budget, and you don't really see the appeal of sleeping in your car.

The real estate agent is practically bouncing on her feet as you officially sign the deed to the house as well as the check for the down payment that you still feel should have been higher, but you're not going to complain.

A couple of weeks later, you have practically everything unpacked—not that you had much—and are settling into the house nicely. You haven't had anything that they said has happened in the house happen to you, so you figured the rumors were just that, rumors.

It isn't until late one night that something happens. You're rinsing off a dish in the sink when a mug that sits next to you on the counter suddenly falls off and shatters to the ground.

You jump, dropping the dish you had in your hand into the sink. You look down at the smashed pieces on the floor next to your feet and take a step away from the glass. Looking around the room, you see nothing out of place that would cause it to happen, and you didn't think it was that close to the edge of the counter, but after a couple minutes of contemplating how it happened, the only reason you come up with is you accidentally bumping it, even though you don't remember doing it.

The next day, you're back in the kitchen making breakfast when the blender suddenly starts from across the room. You jump once again at the sudden noise, turning around from what you're doing. You walk up to the blender with confusion, not even remembering plugging it in. Trying to turn it off, you hit the power button, but the blender continues to whirl. You hit all the buttons, but nothing seems to turn it off. Eventually, you reach behind it and yank the power cord out of the wall, letting the blender finally come to a stop to plunge the room into a sudden silence.

You shake your head, trying to rationalize it, but not knowing how. You guess faulty wiring could come into play, though it's not that likely it's the only excuse you have. Your mind wanders to the rumors of the house and the reasoning why countless other people have left previously, but you don't have a choice right now, needing somewhere to live. You just hope you don't regret the decision to stay later down the line.

A week passes and small things keep happening around the house, things being knocked off counters, lights turning off as soon as you flip them on, and furniture being shifted from its position. The thought of leaving crosses your mind a couple of times, but all the things that happen seem so minor that you don't feel like you're in any real danger.

It isn't until one night that it changes. You're walking into your bedroom from the bathroom, getting ready to go to bed when you hear a low voice emitting from the corner of the room.

"Why won't you just leave?" Your heart jumps into your throat as you turn to face the noise, letting out a small scream as you see a figure in the corner.

Idia lets out a small scream similar to yours when he realizes that you can actually see him in the room. "You can see me?" He asks in disbelief as you push yourself against the opposite wall with wide eyes.

"How did you get in here?" You say, his questions not even registering in your mind that's completely scrambled at the moment. You would have probably recognized him from the images online from all of the articles about the house if you weren't too busy thinking someone broke into your house.

"Hey, wait-" He tries to speak, but you're preoccupied with grabbing the first thing you can and swinging it directly at him. You watch the object phase right through him and hit the wall behind him before dropping to the ground. Your eyes widen as a puff of light smoke covers the area where he just was before dissipating completely.

"What the-" Your eyebrows crease in confusion, looking at the now empty spot where the person just was.

"I'd appreciate if you didn't throw things at me." His voice sounds from next to you this time causing your body to jump and spin around, finding him standing next to your bathroom door this time.

"How did you-" You look back at the spot he just was in wonder as to how he got across the room without you seeing him. Looking towards the person once again is when his appearance finally clicks into your brain. "You're Idia..." As soon as the words leave your mouth, he's groaning out in annoyance.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm the poor guy who was murdered in his own home because he couldn't hear the intruder walking into his room from his stupid noise-canceling headphones." You just stare at him, trying to process the information of you physically speaking to someone who's not alive.

"But, how are you here?" You ask, your voice quiet as if you're scared of scaring him off.

"I wish I knew." He sighs out folding his arms over his chest in almost a defensive position. The last thing Idia remembers was sitting in front of his computer, ready to drown out the world around him and finally use his noise-canceling headphones when suddenly everything went dark.

He didn't hear the person breaking in through the headphones and the next thing he knew, he was staring down at the scene in front of him. His body was lying face down on the keyboard, blood dripping down onto the floor from the gunshot wound in his head, and even from seeing all that, he was the most upset about his brand new headphones getting blood all over them, and the very expensive keyboard getting completely ruined.

He's been wandering around the house ever since, watching the police come in and do their investigation, and the first people to move in since the incident. He didn't even mean to do it at first, but he knocked a painting off the wall when he saw them get settled in what was once his room. He saw their reaction and figured he could continue to move and knock things over, trying, and succeeding to run them out of the house.

He'd do it for every single person that would move into the house, working flawlessly, until you that is. He's not even sure how you're able to see him, no one else could.

"You're the reason why no one's been able to stay in the house." You say, everything starting to come together in your mind, like seeing a ghost, or spirit, or whatever you'd call it, standing right in front of you is an everyday occurrence.

"Yeah, well they were loud. Especially the ones with a newborn, it was like a screaming fest in here, I couldn't even hear myself think." Idia speaks out in a small huff.

"You realize every time you scare someone off you're just going to have to deal with more people coming in to check out the place." You say, looking at him expectedly.

Idia opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but then closes it again.

"Fine," he says after a few seconds.

"So I can stay?" You ask with a small smile. Idia just sighs out before disappearing through another light mist. You're taking that as a yes.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

buy me a coffee ♡

[untilhiseyeheals]

Pretty Performer - Silco x fem!reader one shot

Warning: Smut. Shameless smut.

You opened the heavy wooden door to the bar and stepped cautiously into the warm, dimly lit room, already filled with people and bustling with laughter and the clinking of glasses. Taking in a deep breath you let it fall shut behind you, the sound of the heavy wood hitting the frame drowned out by the constant hum of voices and background music of the bar. You looked around, unsure if to just make yourself at home and prepare for your upcoming performance as this decision was justly taken from you by the grab of two nimble but strong hands that dragged you into the bar. “You came! I’m so excited! I had to beg beg beeeeeeg Silco to invite you to perform, you know, the bar doesn’t usually do live performances but I have been listening to your stuff alllll the time when I am tinkering and I just had to have you play here!”. Two long blue pigtails swung through the air as Jinx dragged you eagerly towards the little prepared stage in one corner of the room. A breath caught itself in your throat as you were well aware of what a dangerous environment you found yourself in, even with this situation being painted by a welcoming atmosphere, you couldn't help but feel a little on edge. “Thank you, Jinx. That really means a lot to me. I’m glad you like it. Hm… Is there any song in particular that you like? I can perform it for you, you know?” you managed a smile, thinking it's probably best to make as good an impression as possible with one of the most dangerous people around. She had already dragged you all the way over to the little makeshift stage as she whirled around to face you, eyes glowing with anticipation. “Animal Cannibal”, she exclaimed without a second thought and you smiled knowingly. Of course, one of the more, well, interesting songs. “Great choice. Will do!” you lifted your hand to your head and gave a joking salute as you turned to prepare the stage for your gig.

When the background music in the bar started to fade out and the lights dimmed, centring at the corner of the room you and Jinx found yourselves in, she jumped up onto the stage and grabbed the mic. “Hello and welcome everyone to The Last Drop’s first-ever live performance! No, we don’t care if you asked for this and we certainly won’t take any requests! Now lean back, lean forward, or to the side. Dance, stand, sit, drink, do whatever you want because you cannot stop what’s about to come! Give it up for (y/n)!” she shouted into the mic, twirling it around and pointing towards certain individuals that apparently had some sort of a reputation in the bar, as they gave a knowing smile and shrug before returning the attention to their glasses. She then jumped off the stage and joined the small crowd that assembled in front of the stage. Not much, by any means, but that only served to soothe your nerves that started to act up quite a bit. You couldn’t help but huff out a breath in disappointment as you let your eyes scan over the people in the crowd, not seeing him anywhere. Of course not! What were you thinking? It’s better he wasn’t here right now, the last thing you needed was the attention of arguably the most powerful and dangerous man of the Undercity on you. You took in a deep breath as the music started playing and decided to just go and get this over with.

So you started to sing. "I bite at the hand that feeds me. Slap at the face that eats me. Some kind of animal cannibal. Animal. Cannibal.” When the music started playing, the strain washed from your nerves and your muscles loosened from their tensed state. Your usual persona was swapped out to your on-stage persona, much more confident and slightly suggestive than your normal self. You can’t help it. You sang the song in a sultry voice, letting your hands roam your hips and down towards your legs as you scanned the room through half-lidded eyes. You didn’t catch him, too engulfed in your performance to notice the set of eyes that were glued to your form as you traced along the hem of your black dress. One eye blue and cold as the deep ocean, the other seemingly opposite a struggle of black and ember, like darkness fighting to engulf the flames of a smouldering fire. And he was watching you. Intently. Eyes never leaving you, he studied your movements, listening to your sultry song that you completely let yourself sink into. “How do I meet the strangest men? They always seem to find me.” How fitting. If only you knew that possibly the strangest man had become totally lost in your performance, in the way you seemed to ignore everything and everyone that existed in the world, becoming one with the song you performed and feeling the lyrics as if they were your own personal story.

That's what you were. A performer. So you opened your eyes, straightened up and let a dark, dangerous gaze skim through the first row of people looking back up at you as you sang the next words. “Who knows how some people turn to strange ones. Is it up to me to make them into dead ones?” a sickly grin spreading over your features as the last words left your tongue, hands raised to your neck, drawing a slow line once across as your tongue skims your teeth and licks over your sharp canines. You were looking dangerous, psychopathic, insane, for only as long as it fit the part of the song you were singing. A perfect performer. It was only between this verse and the upcoming last chorus you let your eyes wander further out, scanning the entirety of the room, eyes having become used to the glare of the lights that were turned onto you as your gaze fell on the man standing at the outer corner of the bar right next to the stairs up to the second story where the offices were located. You moved your head back from the microphone so as not to let the entire audience hear the sharp breath that you took in as you noticed his eyes locked attentively onto you, expression unreadable. He always had a certain look of anger, fury, and general disdain on him that made your skin tingle. As you studied his features a bit longer you noticed that this look was not the only thing you could see in his eyes. They were darker than usual, pupil dilated and fixed upon you, the grip on his glass unnecessarily strong as his knuckles turned white with the pressure he put on the poor object. He seemed like a predator stalking his prey and a set of strong goosebumps washed over your body as you realized with full force that in this scenario, you were the prey. It was a dangerous look that normally would have you avert your gaze and cower into the corner with the sheer force it seemed to emit. But not when you were on stage.

You drew in a final, long breath before it was time to finish the last chorus of the song, stepping closer to the microphone again, your eyes never leaving his. If anything, this drilling gaze of his only spurred you on in your performance. “I bite at the hand that feeds me.” you lift one of your hands from the microphone and bring it up to your mouth, slowly dragging it across your lower lip, opening your mouth and biting down hard as you show your teeth at the bite, letting your fingers slowly graze down your chin, dragging some saliva down your neck. “Slap at the face that eats me” Quickly you lift that hand and bring it swiftly down at your cheek, emitting a beautiful slap that reverberates through the room in the microphone. “Some kind of animal cannibal” Your hands continue their way around your neck and down to your collarbone, head leaned slightly to the side, eyes half-open again. “Animal? Cannibal.” You continue your sinful performance until the last note of the backing track has rung out through the room. Only then do you fully open your eyes and stand up straight again, looking over to the spot at the end of the bar. Empty. You huff in frustration and … disappointment? as you take a step back from the microphone and give the audience a dramatic bow.

Jinx was jumping up and down in excitement, dragging you off the stage the second you stopped your bowing and the light in the bar returned to its normal state, background music resuming more quietly. “That was AMAZING! It was EVEN BETTER than hearing it on my big boom boxes over and over again and that’s honestly saying something!”. You found it hard to keep up with her rambling, smiling courtly and nodding along so as not to infuriate the girl you just made so happy with your performance. Although you wished you had made someone else that happy. Your eyes scan through the bar, desperately looking for the enchanting set of eyes that so drilled through you just minutes ago. You couldn’t find him. Defeated you made your way over to the bar and plopped down on one of the barstools, gesturing to the bartender for a drink. Only it’s not a drink that hit the wood of the counter in front of you, but a similar little envelope to the one that fluttered into your room only days ago. You felt your heart stumble in your chest as your shaking hands picked up the paper, nails slicing through the envelope and trembling fingers unfolded the paper inside of it. You read faster than your eyes can manage, stumbling over the words on the page that turned out to be very few, and very direct. Upstairs. Second door to the right. Now. – S. In any other state, you would have chuckled over the way he signed the note as if it wasn’t painfully obvious who it was from. You knew better than to go into that office, what if was a trap? You dared to lay your eyes on him, lost in your performance, you were … lewd, desperate, horny. While your mind was still listing off the unholy effects his mere gaze had on your poor body, your legs already hit the ground and you made your way up the stairs before you could even realize what you had done, your hands knocked against the wood of the office door. “Come in”. A low, rumbling voice beckoned you inside. You took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping inside the office.

You weren’t prepared for what you would find inside. Your eyes instinctively went to his big desk that stood in front of a beautiful big stained glass window, letting in the faint glow of street lights from outside that tinted the room into a hazy shade of green. However, you were surprised to find the chair in front of the desk to be empty. Confused you furrowed your brows as that dangerous voice made itself heard again. “That was quite the performance you put on there. I can see why Jinx took a liking to your… music.” You traced the origin of the voice to the opposite side of the room and your breath hitched as your eyes fell upon the slim figure of Silco sitting on a low plush chaise lounge, legs spread, cigar in hand and those damned eyes locked straight onto you. You felt like you walked straight into the cave of a bear, deep into the mountains, stupid little bunny hopping straight forward into its demise. You couldn’t help the deep blush that spread across your features at the small compliment. If it was a compliment at all, with him anything sounded like a threat. Just as you opened your mouth to thank him, he cut you off with a simple demand. “Come here.”, his voice was low, eyes never leaving you as you made your way over to where he was sitting, unsure where to start or stop or what to do.

Your mind was hazy, his damn smug grin as you got closer and closer drowning out every strand of thought your brain tried to form. It was to no avail. As you came to a halt in front of the lounge, he sat up and leaned forward to a little couch table with an ashtray and two glasses of liquor, pressing the cigar into the tray and taking up one of the glasses, not bothering to offer you the other as he let himself fall back onto the backrest. His eyes studied you intently, you could feel his gaze wander up and down your form and how the little black dress accentuated each and every one of your curves before it ended, making way for equally black stockings, held up by garters in the shape of a heart. Like a perfect little black dress is supposed to, it showed almost a little too much cleavage to be comfortable, eyes drawn to the necklaces around your neck that almost beckoned the gaze towards your chest. You forced yourself to take deep, steady breaths but your body failed you as he took a swig of his drink and set it back onto the table, hinting with a jerk of his head to come sit next to him. You obliged wordlessly.

That’s when you realised you hadn’t even spoken a single word since you entered his office, the air thick with tension which you hoped was sexual nature and he wasn’t going to end your life right here. Hell, not before making it worth it. He seemed to have picked up on your dilemma, offering you a smug grin as he finally broke the agonising silence. “What happened? Swallowed your tongue?”, his eyes skimmed over your face, taking in the effect that his voice had on you, “Pity. Your performance almost made you seem interesting.” Bastard, you thought before you took up all the courage that was left in you, riding the high that was left from your performance and the reminder of how his eyes practically ate you up. In one quick, swift motion you turned towards him, throwing one leg over his and placing yourself over him, knees to the left and right of his, straddling his lap. That earned you a low, dangerous chuckle, as his eyes started at your necklaces dangling in front of him, skimmed over your chest, you swore they lingered there for a quick second, before coming to rest once again on your face. Heterochome eyes locked with yours, and there it was again, this undiscernible look that only hinted at the fire festering behind those eyes. He kept a cool and collected front, always, if he wasn’t seething in anger and exploding like a volcano he was just quiet and very laid back. That was a front. Dangerous one. You, however, were determined to weasel your way through the cracks that you saw forming in his foundation and he let you.

You carefully lifted your hands from your sides and skimmed the collar of his vest, toying with his tie and carefully loosening it a bit. A low rumble came from his chest as his arm was quick to catch yours and pin them down in your lap, holding your hands by their wrists with only one hand and a very, very strong grip. “Tsk tsk tsk…” he scolded as he used the leverage he had over you to push yourself off him to the side, never letting go of your wrists. “Seems like my eyes didn’t deceive me then. You’re a feisty one. I can appreciate that.” Well, it was fun while it lasted, you thought as he pushed you off him and took that as a sign that this night was not going to go your way. “What I cannot appreciate, however,” he continued, voice low and scolding as he used his second hand to fully undo the tie you so carelessly loosened before and bring it over to your wrists. “is someone acting so incredibly unduly in front of all of Zaun.” With that, he quickly wrapped the string of the undone tie around your wrists and tied them together in a strong knot, not being gentle and making sure it was tight. “Looks like someone needs to be taught a lesson on how to behave.” he finished, letting go of your tied arms and letting them drop into your lap again.

“Lean back.”, he ordered and you were in no position to disobey, leaning back on the plush velvet of the lounge, resting your back against the backrest. With a small, approving nod he slid off the lounge from beside you and stood up, bending down towards you. He seemed to be taking in the sight of you, breathing already shallow and ragged from anticipation, anxiously biting your lip, hands tied together by his tie, looking up at him with big eyes that gave no hint of opposition. Just how he liked it. “There. I had a feeling you’d be a quick learner.” he cooed as his bent-down form started to come closer to you until his head was right next to yours, breath warm and tickling your ear. “So pretty and willing, all tied up and submissive it’s almost a shame having to ruin you.” he whispered in your ear, voice low and gravelly, lips just barely grazing your ear. You couldn’t stop the desperate whine that left your mouth, which made his eyes flick towards yours as he slowly leaned back away from you. “Patience.” was all he said, as his long fingers found the soft flesh of your thighs, tracing a line up and down and along the heart-shaped garters. You sucked in a breath, skin tingling at the touch you waited so long for. His hands made their way, slow, oh so painfully slow, up your thighs under your dress, skimming the band of your cotton panties that had a little lace rim on top which his fingers quickly found. You could tell he thoroughly enjoyed feeling up every inch of you, making you wait forever and ever, each touch feeling so painfully slow that you wished you could just grab his hand and drag it directly to your aching clit. He was revelling in your desperation, eyes closely on yours as he observed each subtle change of your facial features as his hands roamed your body. Then he pulled back his hand from under your dress, making you wince at the sudden loss of contact. He smirked a devilish little smirk as he straightened up and sat back down next to you, picking up the glass with liquor as he watched your slumped-down form, already so messy and dishevelled from this little touch. “Stand up.” he ordered, placing the glass at his lips and taking a swig. You rolled your eyes. What was this supposed to be? Did he order you up here only to make you stand up and sit down and turn around like a little puppy? You weren’t having it. With one swift motion, you stood back up on your feet and made a step towards the door of the office.

Suddenly you could feel yourself getting yanked back hard and crashing into his tall frame. He was just sitting there with a glass in his goddamn hand, how did he manage to pull you back so fast? You could only hear a dangerous, low chuckle as you turned your head to look directly into his eyes. Now they really seemed like they were set ablaze. “Thank you, pet. I thought you weren’t gonna put up a fight at all.” his voice was barely a snarl, a sickly grin spreading over his face. Sick bastard. He didn’t want you to silently obey him, he picked you out because you seemed like you had a fire within you, so different from all the mindless idiots he was left to deal with every day. And finally, he got a glimpse of it. Before you knew it, he had lifted your tied hands above his head so that they came back down around his neck, which left you straining with no way to move, your bodies almost pinned together. That’s when his smug grin was instantly washed from his face as you closed the difference and started planting sinful kisses along his jawline, trailing them up towards his ear and down his neck. Your tongue slipped through, you licked your way along his neck, kissing, sucking, tired of this game he wanted to play. You could feel his head snap back as his own arms snaked around your waist and found your ass, cupping your cheeks with his hands and giving them a squeeze. That elicited a husky moan from you, spilling from your lips between the sounds of sucking and kissing the skin of his neck. He maneuvered you back towards the lounge and when you could feel it against the back of your shins he stopped, releasing your ass from his grasp to free your tied hands from behind his neck. Taking a step back which meant you had to stop your assault on his neck, he smirked as he undid the knot around your wrists, tie discarded to the floor in one swift motion. That, however, didn’t mean he allowed you any more control than he wanted to. “Strip.” he ordered, and you were only too happy to oblige.

Your hands found the straps of your dress and slid them down your shoulders, leaving it to pool on the floor. He once again started looking you up and down, although your undergarments were nothing too special since you favoured comfort over looks and, well, you didn’t count on anyone seeing those today. He took a step towards you, piercing gaze never leaving you, as his arms came around your back to unclasp your bra, fingers pushing it off your shoulders to join your dress on the floor. “Magnificent,” he murmured, as he took another step to close the distance between your bodies and started returning the favour of kissing your neck, hands finding your breasts and cupping them. You let out a soft moan, to which he responded with his fingers finding your hardened nipples, flicking and toying with them as his mouth slowly made its way down your neck to your collarbone. Again, he seemed to find special pleasure in making the process painfully slow, dragging out the moment as long as he possibly could, before the warmth of his mouth finally found one of your nipples. His tongue swirled in circles around the hardened bud of your nipple, teeth grazing it ever so gently before he decided he was gentle enough and took it between his teeth. “F-Fuck…” you moaned, hands darting forward to find his perfectly slicked back hair, burying your fingers between its strands, dragging your nails over his scalp. This led to him letting out a grunt against your nipple, sending a jolt through your body that settled right in that ever-tightening coil in your core.

Seemingly feeling this jolt, he let go of your nipple, guiding you to lay down on the lounge, joining you by crawling his way up, pushing your legs apart. You sucked in a breath in anticipation, as his hands found the waistband of your panties, dragging them painfully slowly down your legs and discarding them on the floor next to the lounge. He began kissing his way up the inside of your thighs, getting dangerously close to the wet mess he made of your cunt. Enjoying every second of this juicy anticipation, his mouth made its way all the way up to your upper thigh, directly next to your dripping cunt, nose skimming your folds for just a second, already enough to make you buck your hips involuntarily. He chuckled lowly against the soft flesh of your thigh. “My, my…” he trailed off and suddenly his head turned from the side of your inner thigh and the next thing you felt was his tongue licking slowly up your folds. You bucked your hips again, arms darting back to find his head again, getting a handful of his hair, destroying what was left of its slicked-back state. He ate you out like it was what he was destined to do, tongue swirling in circles around your clit, toying with the willing hole and slurping up all the delicious juices that you had for him. That’s when he felt like that wasn’t enough, and while his eyes flicked up to catch your reaction, two of his fingers joined his tongue. You threw your head back, muttering and moaning a string of words that loosely resembled his name as he slid his fingers into you. They met with no resistance as he pushed them in all the way, curling them up to hit that sweet, sweet spot that almost made you scream his name had you not turned your head and bit your lip. His mouth left your aching clit while his fingers kept relentlessly pumping into you, lifting his head to watch you squirm and hold back noises. “Come on, let me hear you.” he growled, as he once again curled his fingers right where you needed them and thrust them into you. “F-Fuck. Silco. Your fingers feel so good. I’m… I-... S… So close” you muttered against the side of the lounge, breath ragged and speaking made hard by the continuous assault of his fingers that felt like knocking all the air out of your lungs. That only seemed to spur him on more. “Good. Come on my hand for me.”, he ordered and slipped in a third finger, curling them once again, one last thrust sending you over the edge and bringing the knot in your stomach to explode. “Yes… S-Silco!”, you almost chanted his name like a prayer as the feeling of sweet release washed over you, making your vision blurry and your head fuzzy. His hands slowed down their movements, letting you ride it out as you bucked your hips lazily against his hand until he withdrew it.

You carefully opened your eyes and the knot in your stomach began to churn anew as you took in the sight before you. Silco had straightened up on the lounge, still between your thighs, vest slightly agape for a lack of tie, hair dishevelled with strands falling into his face. His face, gods, his face. It was flushed from the heat, his sweat mixing with your juices that coated his nose and mouth and that bastard was grinning as he took the fingers that were just inside you to his mouth, licking them clean of your remnants. You were determined to wipe the grin from his face once again as you tried to use your elbows to prop yourself up and get yourself into a halfway seated position resting on your palms. Well, you made it halfway from the elbow stance to the palms as your arms remembered they felt like jelly and gave up on you, leaving you plopping back onto the velvet cushions of the lounge with the back of your head. Silco watched this and chuckled. “Dear, don’t overestimate your strength. Give yourself a moment.” You didn’t want a moment. As you set to try your endeavours a second time, he suddenly bent back down over you, his arms resting on either side of your chest, face flush to yours. “I said, give it a moment,” he warned, voice low and dangerous again, a glint shimmering through his eyes. You shook your head and decided that if your arms could not support you to steady yourself, you might as well use them to pull him in.

Easier said than done, you lifted your arms and dropped them behind his neck, hands gripping the fabric of his vest on the shoulders. He let out another chuckle and shakes his head. “You won’t let go, hm?”, he cooed as he brought his face closer to yours. He hasn’t kissed you yet. You hadn’t dared to- this didn’t seem like a situation… You couldn’t finish your thought before his lips found yours, hungry, devouring you, tongue pushing its way into your mouth. He didn’t need to ask permission or wait, be gentle, or anything. And he knew. You moaned into the kiss as you felt his tongue twirling with yours, pushing hungrily into your mouth, determined to explore it in its entirety. Even though the kiss was drenched in desire and want, it almost felt a tinge gentle. You were sure you imagined that part. The knot in your stomach tightened at the feeling, itching to be released anew. “S-Silco… Please….”, was all you managed to pathetically wince out between kisses. He broke the kiss and leaned back a bit. There it was again, this grin. “What is it? Use your words, dear.” he spoke, voice dripping with sarcasm. You looked back up at him with the most longing and pathetic look you had in you and said “Please… Fuck me.”

That was all he needed, hands quick to unbutton his pants and sliding them down just enough to free the length of his hard cock that surely was similarly aching to be freed like the knot in your stomach. He was already dripping precum which made you a little proud of yourself, seeing that all this mess hadn’t just affected you. He was human after all. You didn't have a lot of time to revel in that thought though, as he quickly came back down towards you, tip of his cock hitting your aching clit. You winced and at this point, you didn’t care how you sounded anymore. “Please, please Silco”, all you could do was whimper his name in pleas to end your suffering and finally fuck you. He seemed to enjoy that most as he took his sweet time, dragging his tip through your folds, playing with your clit, lining himself up only to let it glide upwards between you again. You had enough. Determined you bucked your hips against him as he toyed with you once again, pulling him in just enough so his head was entering you.

He hissed, seemingly pissed off for just a second before the feeling of your cunt around him soothed all his anger and he couldn’t help but fully push himself inside you. You gasped, and let out an unholy animalistic noise as your hands tried to grasp onto the velvet of the lounge in support. That did it, the last part of resolve he had in him was crumbling at that unruly noise you just let out. He was relentless, quick-paced thrusts deep into you, losing himself in the way your walls clenched around him. Your hands, not finding any support with the lounge, latched onto his shoulders and dragged down his back, nails leaving marks in their wake. The noises he made were impossible to describe and even more impossible to endure. Your own were similarly unruly, you simply didn’t care anymore. There was no way you were withstanding this long, as you could feel your release inching closer and closer. He could feel it too, your walls clenching around him as he bottomed out into you, thrust after thrust, again and again. “S..Silco.. I’m.. I’m gonna..”, you tried your best to form any semblance of words as you felt yourself approaching the edge. One of his hands found your clit, fingers circling over it as he kept fucking you at a relentless pace. That did it and you felt yourself being thrown over the edge as the knot in your stomach exploded again making you clench uncontrollably around his cock. His breathing grew more ragged, thrusts sloppy and losing their rhythm as he fucked you through your high and chased his own. Just as he started to twitch he pulled out and spilt himself all over your stomach, panting heavily, letting out more of these groans and sounds that you would for sure hear in your head for days to come.

He remained hovering over you for a second, lazily stroking himself before getting up and grabbing a box of tissues off the nearby table. You thought he would take a few and toss you the box or something, but he cleaned himself up at the table, discarding the used tissues and heading back over to you with the rest. He sat down on the lounge in front of you, taking one tissue after the other, gently wiping his cum from your stomach and discarding the used tissues… well, into the general direction of the waste bin. You studied his face as he did so, usually furrowed brows relaxed and eyes steadily fixed on his task at hand. For how relentlessly he fucks, kills and acts otherwise he was being… gentle?

[sunllghtt]

Hi are you up for a messy scene analysis thing

Ofc it's this scene who do you think I am

I've been wanting to do this for God knows how long but I never had the balls and neither the words to (still don't) but I wanna try to properly talk about this scene. My primal instinct is to sit here and tell you how much this 30 second scene changed the trajectory of these characters in the next movies, how it made their friendship grow and develop and how much of a storytelling lesson it is (oh the so so deep understanding you need to have of your characters to have them say things so vaguely and still express exactly what they mean). I could also go down the emotional and subjective road and ramble about how much it means to me and how I resonate with it, but I've done that at least 837382 times and I think everyone knows it by now 😭 so!!! Let's get to the real thing

(I'm trying to keep it as analytical and straightforward as possible but please note that this is my favorite scene that's ever existed so neutrality is not really a possibility)

Rocket is a brat. He's restless, he's loud, he's always puffing up his chest and yelling at someone and picking fights with the wind cuz it was blowing in a way he didn't like and he's just an overall bastard. In this scene, though, we see him inside out. His head is low, his shoulders are slumped, he has his tail between his knees and he looks tired. He speaks quietly (curiously like he doesn't want anybody else to hear him), he's not deliberately insulting anyone and he's just..... defeated??

Up until that point I don't think we ever got to see Rocket like that. From what the movies have shown us he'd never had to. But in the past few days that led to this, Rocket had stolen batteries for no apparent reason (which we'll later learn why💀), ruined their ship, got literally kidnapped by Ravagers, blew up a creepy planet-guy-thing and oh my god attended his friend's dad's funeral. At least half of these things were directly or indirectly his fault and he knows it.

I don't think he ever doubted it was (we see it earlier in the movie when the Guardians leave to "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac and Rocket scowls and winces like he either stepped in a pile of shit or got hit in the face by regret), but he still argued with Peter even knowing he was in the wrong just to keep up apparences or hold on to a little thread of pride when he was already feeling ashamed for being caught red-handed stealing shit he didn't need AND destroying their ship etc etc, and he just kinda fucked up big time. And I think that's (besides the general exhaustion of parenting a tree and fighting a planet and Yondu's death) is what got him so devastated in that scene.

Ofc Yondu played an extremely important role in that. He was the one to open Rocket's eyes, to give him some sort of reality check and show him the only thing isolation is ever gonna bring him is regret and bitterness (or, in other words, Yondu). Rocket is most of all hopeless and tired and just sad like that because he knows he hurt his friends. He knows he's chasing them away, that he yells at them, that he's always mean and that he steals batteries he doesn't need. He knows he's not awesome to put up with and seeing what happened to Yondu and his former friends probably made him terrified it'd happen to him and the Guardians too. He's stuck in this cycle of pushing them away with everything he can (and we could get into all his trauma regarding betrayal and death and literally endless other things but it's all very clear at this point) and he knows patience doesn't last forever. He's just scared, he feels bad and he's tired.

Now on the other hand we have Quill. He's also destroyed, he lost two fathers (3 if you count what Ego could've been, what he wanted him to be), basically relived his mother's death and had to watch literally every single one of them die. He's also scared and tired, yes, but all he has left is this unstable family of weird idiots who are learning how to show care and he's... pretty much fine with it. He wants it.

And when what Rocket's saying clicks, when he realizes who he's talking about, Quill, who's usually all smirks and teasing and bickering and name-calling, looks at his best friend like this,

because

(From vol 2 script!! Won't even try to comment on that last part before Quill's last line but I also really like that Peter just "shakes his head" over and over like he's just barely listening until he realizes what Rocket really means cuz it also shows a lot about his character. He's naturally a little slow and downright stupid when it comes to this kind of hidden emotional thing and he's also exhausted and depressed from everything that happened and STILL he stops and just. Sees Rocket, and sees Yondu.)

He's not doing well. He's probably sore and hurt and sad and miserable and yet he takes his sweet time to look down at Rocket, let go of his resentment from before and see right through him. In order to understand this scene it's important to remember he most likely doesn't know what Yondu told Rocket at all, he doesn't know anything they said to each other and how Yondu showed him they're mirrors. He doesn't know any of that. He just knows his best friend and his father and how much they resemble each other. He puts up with Rocket's bullshit because he knows how to deal with Yondu.

He could've just ignored him or pretended he didn't know what he was talking about. He could've made Rocket swallow his pride and "teach him a lesson" by making him say what he means without hiding behind metaphors and vague self-deprecation, because Rocket was probably vulnerable and defeated enough to be honest in that moment. And yet, he just looks at his friend, who's usually a loud and mean and restless brat, and is now staring at the floor with his ears droopy and his tail between his knees, and just says, as a form of reassurance and tenderness that's just as subtle and shy as Rocket's insecurities, "Well, of course not."

(The kind and soft and sweet DETERMINATION on his face tho like no!!! No we're not ditching you even though you suck I'm!!! Serious!!!!)

[moonyasnow]

Woe! Unfortunate magical accident upon ye, your OC has now been cursed to share pain with their beloved 🔗🤝It's a good thing either of them are not clumsy or accident-prone - unless? Oh no! Hopefully they can find someone who can undo this pesky spell, or just to keep them company until it wears off!

-🔮✨diodellet (hopefully im doin this magic nonon thing right)

Oh

Malleus and Irina sharing pain

...

OH

MALLEUS AND IRINA SHARING PAIN

; ; dio I am so so so sorry this is probably not what you signed up for asking this but uhhhhhh

CW : SELF HARM

Also gonna say right now idk wtf is going on with the structure, or...anything, here? I just kinda...wrote stuff 0 editing

Irina has had a habit, ever since she was little. Not a very good habit, not at all...but one she relied on.

When she felt horrible, as she did often, when her bad emotions and feelings overwhelmed her and became too much for her small body to handle...the only thing she could think to do to release the massive tension boiling under her skin was to hurt herself.

She'd bite herself: bite her lip, and her fingers, and the side of her hands that attatched her thumb to the rest of it. She'd scratch at her scalp and shake her head around trying desperatly to will away the bad thoughts, to just get them all to stop

It was the only thing a young, neglected child who'd never been to school could think to do to release that explosive energy inside her; to direct it outward. But at herself, so no one would notice anything breaking. She couldn't scream, or her parents would become mad at her. She couldn't kick something, or throw something-- she barely even had anything to throw, either. But she could bite. Even as a small child, for that was how she survived physically unscathed in that household, knew better than to try to bite either of her parents.

And biting her plush rabbit Clover, her best friend, was something she'd rather die than do. Clover always comforted her.

So of course...the only remaining target was herself.

And when she bit her hands, bit them hard until they bled, no one would notice her crying.

Even as she went on to live at an orphanage after her mother died and father left at age 9, and even after she was adopted by her uncle and moved in with him at age 13, she kept this habit up.

The pain was familiar. The only anchor she had to cling to when everyone she even thought about trusting kept on leaving her. All for those giant emotions, how scared she was of them doing just that.

She found catharsis in exchanging the emotional pain for the physical pain.

She'd never told anyone about it. She needed to hide it, like she'd always hid everything that could be considered 'bad' about her, so no one would have any reason to dislike her. To survive. And...because she was ashamed. She thought the scars it left on her hands and arms made her 'dirty'.

Something happened-- a mistake in a class shared with the 3d and 2nd years. Someone stumbled, and the spell they meant to cast came out wrong, and accidentally hit Malleus.

Normally he would have moved out of the way in time, but being preoccupied as he was both with casting his own spell, and devoting all his mental focus to thinking of something entirely different, someone entirely different, he was, for once, caught off guard, and swerved too late, a tiny spark of said spell grazing him. But that was enough, apparently.

The spell was one meant to link one of the senses of the one it was cast on, and a person they were thinking of.

Malleus didn't think much of it, knowing it would wear off by itself in time, only making note to be more careful than usual so as not to cause Irina pain. Since he didn't think it would come up he didn't tell her about it.

But later that night...

He felt invisible nails draw harshly across his lower arms, yet when he uncuffed his sleeve to check, he saw nothing. But he felt it. Nails scraping painfully across his skin. And then nails digging into the flesh near his elbow, and a sharp yet also crushing sensationg weighting down on the side of his thumb. Crushing, crushing, crushing down harder and harder until he felt a sickening feeling of flesh being torn open.

In an instant, flecks of green light surged around him and the scents of wet stone and burning wax of his room gave way to the musty odor of an old, off-green house of wood.

Not even reacting to Tomoe's yelp of surprise, he asked her where Irina's room was, having never been inside the building himself before. She said she'd go to get Irina, and he agreed.

Though the pain he felt persisted, no new pain came.

Seeing Grim run down the stairs a short while before Tomoe and Irina, Malleus' pupils narrowed into dangerous slits at the little fire-eared monster, thinking him the culprit.

Thinking he wanted to go on one of their usual nightly walks, Irina just slipped on her shoes and jacket after greeting him, asking if he wanted to go for a walk.

That may not have been why he came there...but who was he to deny her? So as fae cannot tell lies, he simply answered with his honest thoughts: "That would be lovely."

Seeing her outwardly perfectly fine, he started to wonder if perhaps he'd imagined it, or had mistaken something. Perhaps she hadn't been attacked by anyone, and had just gotten her hand hurt on accident?

She walked closer to him than usual that night...but he didn't notice until he felt her small hand slipping into his. When he looked back to her, he found his gaze met with just the mop of her messy, pale pink hair, her face lowered to face the ground to a degree where he couldn't see it. But feeling the hesitant grip on his hand, he closed his fingers over hers and squeezed gently, even as it caused pain to shoot through his hand again.

Throughout their walk, her grip on his hand slowly became tighter and tighter, and his responded in turn, until their hands were clasped so tightly it was almost painful in itself. Thought they both wore gloves, they held on tightly enough that he could feel her heartbeat through her hand, and feel it gradually slow over the course of their walk.

When they'd gotten back to Ramshackle and it was time to say goodbye, he kissed the back of her hand before he left. And with it and the flurry of fireflies, the pain on his hand vanished, the vision of her face a moment after.

In the time until the spell wore off, every time he sensed something similar, without fail, he would appear at Ramshackle and invite her out on a walk.

He didn't know the origin of the pain...but he decided he'd take it away, and replace it with his hand enveloping hers.

@diodellet