#all i know is im gonna cry literally the entire day tomorrow

[vypridae]

guys im so salty i dont want to go to school tomorrow i dont want to be walking around in the almost negative temperatures tomorrow what kind of BULLSHIT

[screampied]

i literally am obsessed with all your works the tojis dbf series CHEFS KISSSS. and honestly just how well you write in general <33

was wondering if you could write any threesome or any group sex stuff? honestly doesnt matter what character would js love to see it!!!!

AGAIN LOVE U AND ALL UR WORKS <333

thank YOUUUUU😞💓 i’m so glad u enjoyed it 🙂‍↕️

yes !!! i’ve written lots of threesomes already, actually i meant to post a satosugu fic today for gojo’s series but TUMBLR DIDNT SAVE HALF OF MY WORDS i actually wanna cry 🙂🙂🙂 i just had a few more paragraphs then was about to write the ending but NO. that’s my fault for not writing on docs but still like 💔💔💔 now i have to memorize what i wrote and—i can’t be bothered LMAO im just gonna post tmrw omgee

as for group sex i’m not sure !!! 🫨🫨 i know a few anons were talking to me about foursomes they’d like for me to write in the future so there’s that 💓 but yh, i’ve been reaaaal busy this entire week but i’m free for like eighteen days so hopefully i can post tomorrow and MY STUFF WONT GET DELETED

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

Hey! On your poll I was going back and forth between yes and secret third thing BECAUSE I do think Izzy displays homophobia in the show. However, I interpret the incident you referred to as mostly misogyny i.e. that "real men don't show feelings." I think the derogatory words and actions towards Lucius and Stede are way more homophobic, but they're connected for sure.

I think the emphasis on boyfriend is making fun of him for being emotional that a man he loves isn't there and he wanted to remind him that (to Ed's understanding) Stede didn't care enough.

Tldr - izzy is homophobic for reasons outside of this scene, but his gorilla grip on societal standards of men bleed into his view of queer men, especially those who aren't "masc" enough for him

anon my beloved i must apologize in advance bc i had a very weird and emotionally draining day today and i am very tired right now. so i don’t know that this is going to be coherent. but also i like this ask and i want to say words about it before that poll expires tomorrow so i’m just gonna slap some shit together here and hope it makes sense

so first thing’s first, i definitely agree that izzy does homophobia all over the show. the reason i picked out this scene and that line specifically is because imo “pining for his boyfriend” literally sounds like a dumb middle school boy bullying his classmates on the playground. which is to say that it sounds like the most simple-minded homophobic taunt in the world. like i always think abt this scene in the last season of the magnus archives when the main character and his boyfriend roll up to some dumb meathead bully type who goes “who’s this, your boyfriend?” and the whole fandom was like “wow i can’t believe this guy is homophobic.” bc even if the bully is literally correct and the guy is actually his boyfriend, saying “boyfriend” in that tone is saying “boyfriend” like it’s an insult. which, clearly, is homophobic.

so yeah mocking ed for the pining bit is kinda more on the “boys don’t cry” misogyny side of things like you said, but the way izzy tilts his head and draws out the first vowel in “booooyfriend” to me reads like the single most straightforward and undeniable instance of izzy being homophobic in the entire show. bc even if (and this is a big if) izzy doesn’t actually care abt ed having a boyfriend and is just trying to goad ed into being blackbeard again bc izzy needs blackbeard to feel safe, the way izzy is choosing to go about bullying ed into being blackbeard again is through grade school level homophobic taunting.

however you are not wrong that there is also misogyny going on in that scene. and that is because these things are all so deeply intertwined it’s impossible to say where one ends and where the other begins. and this is where i don’t think i’m going to be able to maintain coherency lol but i’m gonna do my best!!!

like the thing with homophobia is that at it’s core, it’s about men not doing gender right. bc gender roles in western society are a fucking shitshow and the expectations for how men and women are supposed to behave extend into every facet of people’s lives. like we all know the basic “boys don’t cry, women are caretakers, men are tough and macho, women are soft, men are hard, etc etc” stuff. but one of the biggest areas where society has strict expectations of how men and women should behave is about sexuality.

men are expected to be attracted to women, obviously. but also men are often expected to be overtly sexual. having a high sex drive is tied to many guys’s concept of their own masculinity and their sense of personal identity. like this should feel like common knowledge right, the idea that some guys build their identity around “getting bitches” or whatever?

(the societal expectations for women and sexuality are a whole other shitshow that people have written entire essays and articles and books on, but im not gonna get into that here bc we’re talking abt ofmd, and this show is focusing on challenging society’s ideas about what it means to be a man)

the other thing with gender roles, and with male gender roles specifically. is that of the two genders that western society has expectations for, manhood is seen as superior. so when a guy is unable to perform masculinity to society’s standards, he is seen as less than a man. and what’s less than a man?

a woman.

men who fail to adhere to a certain expectation of masculinity are insulted by being likened to women. it’s why guys will literally say “don’t be such a girl about it” when another guy gets emotional about something. hell, it happens to stede in the show!! calico jack calls him “the big gal,” the british describe him as “a heavyset woman in a silk dressing gown.” stede is someone whose gender presentation does not match what is expected of him At All, from his clothes to his crying to his picking flowers to just his mannerisms and how he is. and stede has faced constant ridicule because of this.

so like. it all gets real tangled together. and a lot of the time it’s hard to say which is “more” present, homophobia or misogyny. insulting a man by calling him gay, insulting a man by comparing him to a woman, those things go hand in hand. having a gorilla grip worldview on how men “should” behave leads people to policing how men, both cishet and queer, perform gender and experience attraction.

so like, izzy’s general vibe of not caring if ed has gay sex, but absolutely caring if ed bottoms during that sex and caring if ed actually falls in love and cares about a man? that concept of masculinity, which calico jack is also shown to adhere to? homophobic. just like how his treatment of stede and lucius for being “less masculine” is homophobic.

[dimension20npcofalltime]

My Favourite Tags / Reblogs of Round Two

Yeah sorry this one's long

#the yogurt man deserves this

Loose Duke did NOT hide for nearly an entire season in a spaceship’s vents, personally haunting Emily Axford the real person’s mind, to lose. - inkytrinket-irii

#loose duke is the only npc that gets better the less you see him

#hell yes! BIM SWEEP!#all the calroy girlies see his canon artwork and run for the hills. pathetic.#that man is a slice of cake and he’s sexier than any pink​​​-haired twink you could possibly draw

#chose calroy bc of that one monologue that out of context makes a crown of Candy sound like the most intense historical war period piece#to ever exist#also bc I did not watch sophmore year

#calroy sweep are you kidding#the gayest slice of cake to ever live

#hardest decision of my life 5ever#shit in your mouth vs watch me shit? how could i ever decide between those two?#(it was calroy easily)

#voted ox just so it's not a complete wipe. he's a Good Boy and i'm love him#but he doesn't stand a chance against the unhinged all-consuming-devotion dykery that is wuvvy

#i love garthy but Aelwyn has been giving me brainrot for the padt few months#the kind of character you want to snap in half and then cry about it

#it’s tough because aelwyns whole deal makes me cry#but on the other hand garthy is hot as hell

#ough this is hard#on one hand aelwyn is v complex and is central to adaines development in fhsy#on the other hand... garthy's voice is hot as hell and they are chill as hell#i GUESS ill pick aelwyn. im just saying i hate asmr but if it was garthy i think all my stress would melt away

#GUYS COME ON I KNOW GARTHY IS HOT BUT.#LOOK AT HER#SOPPING WET CAT OF A GIRL ALSO REMEMBER WHEN SHE WALKED INTO A LUDICROUS PARTY#OF HER OWN MAKING#SMASHED TWO BOTTLE OF LIQUOR AND MAGICED THAT SHIT STRAIGHT DOWN HER THROAT???#she is so everything to me Adaine in the first minutes of the campaign immediately tries to murder her#she shut down her mind to survive torture and kept her personality in a black box only her sister could open#sibling relationship of all time guys

#i love them both#but it has to be john feathers#most guy of all time despite literally being a bird

#if you're not gonna beat up a bunch of angels to give your wife tax advice don't even look at dale

#WHY is esther losing!!!#justice for my girl#my girl has the only braincell in NYC#released from her curse and immediately jumps the hot firefighter#nothing but respect

#one of the very few acoc characters i'll vote against without hesitation#ESPECIALLY for baron my god i love that little freak

#baron you funky creation from aroace fear

#i love dr lugash so fucking much#but you really put him up against annabelle cheddar? the most dyke 5ever?#i love her sm

#lugash would want you to vote annabell#because he is lgbt ally

#why does raghs art have him dressed as a dad at a barbecue#actually you know what he IS gay and it makes sense for him to be that flavor of gay

#plug's gonna lose a poll the same day he's gonna die- tomorrow

#Wilma!!!#or did y'all forget our education on docking

#vote caramelinda my god she deserves this win#also she's canonically lesbian. dyke rights.

[cubedmango]

Hey naina, tried to rewatch the cherry magic movie tonight. Got up to the nagasaki scene. It’s currently paused,,, I have cried genuinely. non stop since I pressed play? My head hurts really badly I think. I’m gonna try again tomorrow I hope you’re having a lovely day

(other ask under the cut for length)

KUROSAWA SAYING WHEN YOU DIDN’T TURN TO ME I WAS SAD AND THAT ONE FUCKIN TEAR THAT FALLS FROM HIS EYES AND THE WAY HE LAUGHS AND APOLOGISES FOR BEING A MESS I NEED A NURSE like i’m gonna. Die i’m two seconds away from throwing up my heart why would he. Why did they film a movie with such intent to tear me to the ground the way he can barely speak and has to try and gather himself multiple times with deep breaths before speaking and ends up crying anyway the way adachi looks on helplessly wondering how to comfort him and let him know how much he loves him the way. The way he tries to bridge the gap between them with understanding through touch one of kurosawa’s main love languages the way kurosawa’s eyes are so glossy and doe like as he waits for adachi’s kiss the way he says his name so softly the way adachi rests his hand on kurosawa’s knee and their hands find each other so slowly…, so softly… so tenderly… the way they can literally speak 636373 words with just their hands alone and do way more for the sake of romance and true deep mutual love than anything the way none of these are in order of how they happen because my brain is seeping out of my ears naina what the actual fuck were they thinking..,, machida keita akaso eiji and kazam hiroki you will receive my medical bills shortly i’m. I wow so. cool

PLEASE IM CRYING KFJHSDKFHDSJF ALL OF THIS IS SO REAL??????? cm crew put Smth into the nagasaki scene idk what but its insane like i will never Not be feral when i think abt it ...... kurosawas breakdown is so painful to see hes been holding everything back for So Fucking Long and imagining all the events from his perspective is crazy like think abt it. he has no idea if adachis ok or not and none of his calls go through and theyre so far apart like Imagine . the fact he wasnt like full on bawling in that scene means hes still holding back so much probs for adachis sake its so aaarhrrhGHGFGHF!!!!!!! LET HIM CRY MORE PLEASE.......

adachis side was perfectly analyzed in that meta i rbed earlier so i have nothing substantial to add but god for the 58302th time his Growth ..... even in ep 12 he had to get that push from tsuge to go meet w kurosawa but in the movie he could already tell kurosawa was putting up a front (and literally predicted it would happen as soon as he got the transfer offer) and he probs planned on talking abt it when he flied back to tokyo before the incident which is. ... .. and the look of determination on his face the entire time kurosawa finally broke down w no panic no overthinking like "I Am Going To Love And Cherish This Man So Hard" and comforting kurosawa w touch and no longer caring abt the magic that hes become reliant on for kurosawas sake. . Yeah im going to be ill about these two for the rest of my life thank u cm crew god bles <3

[storyycool]

Ok so uhh this gotta be one of the worst possible websites to vent on but if ur seeing this please just scroll ik it’s probably gonna be cringy but im NOT in a great mood rn

ok so I’m in hs now and I haven’t been able to sleep all night tonight for some reason and that really fucking sucks because I have 4 different 2 hour blocks where I have to do very complicated work for the entire 2 hours with no break and no support in the slightest. I’m supposed to be one of the “smart kids” but in reality I’m fucking retarded, everyone just overestimates me because I’m quiet and I was in the gifted program. I think a lot of times people in my school forget that I’m a real person, it also kinda just feels like no matter where I go everyone always sees me as something I’m not no matter what that might be. Today a kid complimented me and I was genuinely shocked and confused because why would someone ever want to be nice to me? Im never nice to anyone and I look fucking disgusting, I have no real personality, I’m extremely lazy like so fucking lazy I don’t even wanna get out of bed most days and I know I’m not depressed because if I were depressed than I would have been diagnosed with it already. The truth is there’s nothing mentally wrong with me. I’m just causing problems for myself over and over again and then crying when everyone hates me because I’m always causing problems. If I was really suffering, someone would have noticed by now and maybe asked me if I was okay. I go to school everyday and barely talk to anyone unless they talk to me first. I have no friends, I sit alone every day, and people avoid me like the plague. And I’m not even gonna act like it’s not my fault because it 100% is, I just don’t know what I need to do to fix myself. I’ve been trying but I haven’t tried hard enough, every time I think I’m doing better I end up doing worse, I’m a disappointment to everyone and serve no purpose in this world. I have no hopes, dreams, ambitions, life goals, or anything. I just wanna graduate get a decent paying job that I fucking hate and work that job until I can finally die and all of this will be over. I’m crying and I don’t even know why. Why the fuck would I be crying over problems I literally fucking caused? It actually makes me wanna throw up when I see my disgusting fatass barely even a human self crying in the mirror with my face all red so my acne shows up better. I’m so so so so fucking disgusting oh my god I don’t wanna live with myself knowing everything I’ve done that I can never undo. I’ve destroyed so many peoples lives and I can never forgive myself for that. Unfortunately, with my situation, I literally have to live because literally everything I’ve tried hasn’t been enough to kill me. There’s actually no way in hell I should be alive right now, I have de ere brain damage and I can physically feel my brain cells decreasing and turning into slime and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It hurts so fucking bad. Every night when I go to bed I have a different dream where I die in it and each time my body just slowly turns into this weird disgusting slimy substance and I feel like it’s happening in real life too. Tonight I just wanted to get a few assignments done since I couldn’t sleep anyway but I just straight up started having a mental breakdown as soon as I clicked on an assignment. I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through tomorrow and I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through the rest of my life completely alone. It doesn’t matter how many drugs I take, how much therapy I get, any of that stuff, because it’s never gonna change the way my brain works. I’m not gonna try to blame the things I’m doing on any sort of illness, I blame it all on myself. By the way, I’m a dramatic ass bitch so please don’t take any of this too seriously, honestly my life isn’t even that bad just sometimes it really fucking sucks. And also I swear to god if one single person says womp womp I’m ending it all and that isn’t a joke.

[amousewithnocheese]

tw// sensitive topics, $h mention

dude im so done like actually. first of all on fridat i was like just so upset but my friend came over and ofc i couodnt just be depressed the entire time so basiclaly i just oretended to be fine the entire time. then yesterday i just spiraled further and further down worse and worse.

my mood was just so bad and my mom kept yelling at me and it was so bad i considered cvtting (but i didnt.) and i went to bed thinking “oh well itll be better tomorrow” no.

the first thing i woke up to was my mom saying she was taking my phone away bc i “took it late at night” and she was actualy hiding it and she let me LITERALLY BEAT MYSELF UP OVER IT (like HITTING MYSELF) looking for this stupid phone and she just watched i was crying for SO LONG and then when i founf it she was like “oh its just a test.” LIKE. and i tried to tell her abt how last night was do hard and she was like “omg well think abt me….” and started crying like.

then she said like oh ok im gonna take a nap and relax. and i was like ok. then we went to the bookstore but the entire time, she was like pushing me even though i kept saying stop. and ruined the experience for me. i only get to go to the store for books twice a year and she said she didn’t care and ruined it for me.

shes just been on my ass all day abt like chores and she just cant STOP yelling. like ok thanks.

dude does everything even matter anymore?????? mb i shld have cvt when i had the chance :////// im so pissed.

- 🐶

im super duper sorry :((( i know it’s difficult but try not to hurt yourself?/im glad you didn’t!! cause it might only help for a few minutes and then make you sad afterwards, yknow? it sounds like you had a super rough weekend and i hope next weekend is better!!! you didnt deserve to have such an icky few days :( im here for you 🫂🫂

[aamethyst000]

i didn't realize exacctly how slow my progress will be (july 9,24 - 10:56pm)

holy fuck i did not realize how slow my progress in life will be! it feels so weird to be 26. like, not only the progress of my name and gender change, im talking about my progress in life! the changes im gonna have, the hardships ill probably cry to. i thought teenage life was hard, no siree. the adult life is difficult. once the adults before you leave you alone to be independent and strong and whatnot, they all end up telling you how wrong you are and how you're living life wrong. one side is trying to control how you live, the other wants you to be dependant and independent and some how balance that out on your own. anyway, getting off track here. today i woke up feeling lazy but also feeling pretty good about myself! i actually wanted to clean the house and do the dishes without complaint! which is a rare thing for me since teenage hood. it can get pretty bad on most days. my little brother and i did the dishes today and a little bit of sweeping. i am planning on doing the rest of the house chores tomorrow and start on the towels that were supposed to be done last week. which kind of sucks that it is only me doing the laundry, but what the hell can i do when we got my mothers' brother staying and only doing his own laundry, a 17 who is overly cranky, yknow, normal teenager bs, hes gotta do his own laundry whether he likes it or not. and a mother whose arthiritis hurts her enire body and really bad insomnia. 10 year old me would be very surprised of where i am at right now and 14 year old me would be very confused.

july 11,24 - 11:16pm - just got through washing the dishes and cleaned up a bit in the living room. finally and now i have time to clean up my room and start washing the towels, we desparately need clean towels considering how hot the weather will be this week. you know the funny thing about this? i have stopped taking my anti depressants for nearly a month now! i think i only need to take them during the winter. they seem to work better by then, which is weird to me. anyway, now that i have more trans tapes, im going to wash the towels tomorrow and have a bath by the next day. my poor room has been a mess for too long now and it has been bugging me for a couple of days. doing this will help me feel better about buying myself a new 3ds and cases for it, being more prepared about taking care of it than i did the first time around. i ended up buying another black 3ds, kinda thought i wanted a white one but i ended up changing my mind part way through the search of the new 3ds. i found one for somewhat cheap that came up to 195 plus 10 shipping which was fckn awesome! i so cant wait till they arrive now. though they wont be here till the first week of next month. i know ill be impatient about it but that is not new at all lmao im impatient with every perchase i make, i just gotta keep myself distracted till the items get here.

july 18,24 3:43am - i am planning on rearranging my room to open up the air vent in my room. since i bought the 3ds, i feel like i need to ''earn''' when it finally arrives here, but i am hoping to god that it works for me or id cry. well, not really, i'd be sad about it but wouldnt do nothing about it until i have enough money to save again to buy another 3ds. hopefully it wont come to that at any point for me. anyway, as im typing this out, i am wathcing chuggaconnroy's lets play of kirby 3ds. i heard about his recent..situation, not happy to hear it and not sure how to feel, not entirely anyway. not gonna lie, it kind of sucks and nearly ruined my day. im better now, i heard about this a week ago, so im fine. i think. i havent been able to go to sleep at a reasonable time lately and it sucks. some nights i dont go to sleep until it is literally gets really bright outside (5am or 7am), i did not think id be slowly devolping insomnia at the age of 26. though, i shouldnt be too surprised considering the fact that my whole ass family has it and possibly autism or adhd. not gonna lie, my whole family is a mess. but they are my mess, i guess. you ever feel that way? they are not the best, toxic in their own way (the older ones, not my cousins), when it some down to it, they are there for you (until they sabotage that closeness during any death) they seem to have continued the generational trauma. i hope my cousins are doing alright, some if them have a kid or two, others are single or childless, but they all have a decent job that helps them keep their apartment. so, i hope they are doing well.

by this point, i have one more journal entry to edit and double check on, and a set of papers to look for in my room. i was supposed to mail it back to the place i was getting my legal (now dead)name to my current one, it is coming up to a year so that it is my own fault on that one, considering that all i needed to do was give them the signed papers that i have right now. well, i can do that now and be a bloody adult about it instead of putting it off for tomorrow, every single day. is it weird to still feel like a teenager (16-7) at the age of 26? should i go to therapy for this? is this normal or should i be worried? does every other adult feel like this? and not just me and my friends possibly being delusional or just dramatic about it. either way, i am not entirely sure if ill find the answer or if itll be given to me. i am going to have a puff and then head to bed, it is already very late so im gonna have a puff and enjoy whatever sleep i can get. good night/day, readers!

[daveyjacobss]

.

[sj0228]

astro notes for fun lol

HEY! this is my first astro observations post so don't be too hard on me lol unless u wanna then sure maybe i can improve them somehow BUTANYWAYZ this is for entertainment purposes only!! obviously these are just my own observations so if they don't resonate with you don't get offended or you're a big ol' 🅱️uss so here they are!! also SHOUTOUT TO MY AMAZING FRIENDS fyi i got sum help from them by asking them billions of questions to confirm my suspicions so uh hope that makes the observations more accurate LOL ANYWAYS HERE THEY ARE!! i'll probably make more in the future cuz i think they're super fun to make :D also if u couldnt tell uhm this isnt very professional im not professional BUT I TRIED TO MAKE IT PRETTY so pls dont be bothered lol im just doing this for fun i didnt even wanna make an astro page so yea </3pretty unreliable LMAOOO

👩🏻‍🦲 the house your mars is in is what pisses you off the most!! (eg. 1st - people assuming things about you, 5th - people beating around the bush, 7th - things that disrupt the harmony of your environment, 9th - the need to hold back your opinions because others get bothered by them being "offensive")

👩🏻‍🦲 cancers are true ambiverts and i've truly never ever seen a cancer who wouldn't be both introverted and extroverted at times. they are always either social introverts or quiet extroverts lol. or both!! (somehow 0_0) they enjoy people's attention, whether it's wanting to be noticed or appreciated or generally cared for, and they need their alone time. they tend to be very productive at those times, too.

👩🏻‍🦲 ok i have a lot of notes for cancers so it's gonna be a lot lmao sorry anyways!! i've also noticed they LOVEEE breaking loose every once in a while, if not every time they're given the opportunity! thing is, it's usually only if someone else is there to convince them or do it with them. they don't like taking risks alone! they are very impressed and fond of the 'wild child' persona people because they bring out the cancer's wild side!

👩🏻‍🦲 libra moons are absolutely loved by people, it's so crazy! like, no matter what they do they always have attention on them. this can manifest badly if the moon person is actually pretty horrible, things they do tend to be overlooked and others move on pretty quickly from their mistakes, letting them do whatever they want. i wanted to give an example but uh,,,,, i shall.. refrain😳

👩🏻‍🦲 libra suns with water moons are so scary when they're angry..

👩🏻‍🦲 cancer moon is what i deem as the zodiac sign cute-ifyer lol. literally any "tough" sign like capricorn, scorpio or aquarius becomes a super cute goofball with this moon. WEIRDEST THING EVER THOUGH is that it doesn't work for cancer suns?! like if a cancer sun has a cancer moon this just makes the person very confusing but very funny. they can brighten anybody's day without trying!

👩🏻‍🦲 okay uh this isn't an astro note as much as it is me being a phucken simp but uh..... I HAVE AN UNDYING LOVE FOR ARIES SUNS I WILL MARRY EVERY EACHAND ONE OF YOU ISTG. ARIES SUNS ARE THE NICEST AND FUNNIEST PEOPEL I'VE EVER SEEN YOU HAVE THE BEST HUMOR EVER AND YOU'RE SO KIND TO EVERYBODY YOU'RE SO KIND I LOVE YOU YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS PLANET I WANT TO HUG YOU FOREVER okay jbshxhjn but fr aries are the best people ever?!?!?!?!?!?! pls

👩🏻‍🦲 okay JUST SO THIS WHOLE ARIES MENTION ISN'T JUST A POINTLESS LOVE CONFESSION - i've noticed a lot of ♥aries♥ people use the laughing crying face emojis (😂,🤣) unironically and it's honestly.....the best thing ever

👩🏻‍🦲 taurus suns do this sometimes as well

👩🏻‍🦲 THE MOST UNHEALTHY PERCEPTIONS OF ZODIAC SIGNS ARE PUT ON FIRE SIGNS, NOT THE WATER SIGNS AND THIS IS COMING FROM A PISCES!!!!!!1 every stereotype is always showing fire signs as those sunshine of the group people, the baddies, and the ones with the biggest 'idgaf' attitude. and while this can totally be true sometimes, most of the time it's super different! sad fire signs break my heart pls i just wanna hug you guys T-T they have it the hardest because unlike water signs who are already expected to be emotional, they often repress their emotions for the sake of others and because of the fear of betrayal or judgement, or just generally the idea of "it's better to have fake friends than to have zero friends". YOU GUYS PLEASE. cut these people off from your life you deserve soo much better i know it can be super hard to open up for you u just need a hug omg EVERYONE PLEASE CHECK UP ON YOUR FIRE SIGN FRIENDS ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR DAY N STUFF THEY WILL APPRECIATE YOU CARING FOR THEM! pls stay best and take care sweethearts ily!!!

👩🏻‍🦲 i've also noticed that some of the signs tend to show their sadness through anger - this is not just astrology though so if your friend has been jumpy lately please just check on them they are probably going thru sth😳 anyways the signs i mostly saw this in are pisces, aries and libra.

👩🏻‍🦲 cancers with feminine moons (earth and water) tend to be pretty introspective. they often think they're the ones being mistreated, and while this of course might be true, in reality it usually goes a lonnng way back lol. they often pay very little attention to others!! (masculine moon sign cancers (fire and air) can often be too focused on others more than themselves) this can be good because they don't snoop in other people's business but oh my god, guys, please pay attention to your friends, too! this WILL lead to lost friendships because, let's be real, nobody wants a one-sided friendship with someone who only cares about themselves! i don't want to target anybody here but this is just a pattern i've noticed wayyyy too often, so you might want to look into it and if you think this is you all you need is just to enlargen your perspective and it will all be okay. but please, PLEASE. think about your friends

👩🏻‍🦲 i needed to get this^ out because people often put this on leo placements but tbh i notice that leo placements are THE MOST generous of the entire zodiac and they always think of others first and that's what really makes them so popular. they very rarely are as egocentric as everybody says, they're just really loving and that makes them very lovable!

👩🏻‍🦲 scorpio risings are the prettiest people i've ever seen. not even kidding bruh i could stare at them for EVER their eyes are absolutely gorgeous and their mannerisms are just perfect pls marry me

👩🏻‍🦲 gemini and taurus placements make an individual soooo chill to the point where it often makes them lazy and a biig procrastinator lol. tho i love how they make light of it by using their amazing humor!

👩🏻‍🦲 you most definitely have your IC be one of your family members' sun sign or one of their personal planets. i have a taurus ic and my sister is a taurus sun!

👩🏻‍🦲 sagittarius suns are the best huggers cause THEY REALLY NEED A HUG SO GO HUG THEM RIGHT NOW. pls guys why r u so sad..

👩🏻‍🦲 scorpio mars aren't even as sexual as everybody says tbh. but they definitely do have some interesting.....interests ;)

👩🏻‍🦲 pluto aspects to personal planets are very prominent, but very hidden. if you have them, most likely you will be the only person to know about this side of you and it can be pretty dark..

👩🏻‍🦲 planets conjunct your sun will be the people you attract most in your life (venus conjunct sun - taurus and libra, jupiter - sagittarius and pisces, mars - aries and scorpio EVERYWHERE)

👩🏻‍🦲 your moon sign will be the sun sign of most of your friends

👩🏻‍🦲 if you don't quite relate to your ascendant, look at the sign you have in your 3rd house and at your mercury sign. this is how you communicate, convey your ideas etc. and will often be a major factor in people's first impressions of you :)

👩🏻‍🦲 lilith aspecting your sun may mean there's a side of you nobody knows.. 👁👁 you're also probably very convincing and people can be very drawn to you and they can't explain why. this also goes for lilith in 7th, especially in girls!

👩🏻‍🦲 you and your friends probably have each other's sun signs as your personal planets!!

👩🏻‍🦲 the kindest person you know is probably either a virgo or an aries.. and the meanest person you know is also probably a virgo or aries LOL

👩🏻‍🦲 capricorn suns & risings are THE hardest to read!! if they don't say what they mean people will just assume and they're never going to be right it's wild 👩🏻‍🦲 also capricorns definitely have the most dad energy, while sagittariuses are more like actual dads jdbshxcvb

OKAY THAT'S ALL!!!! im sure i have more but its 2 am i have school tomorrow or actually its today now so bye uh anyways there will most likely be more so if u liked these stay tuned!! oh and let me know if they were true witchu :o thats it love u stay awesome and super cool i love u byebye!!

[weirdmageddon]

ok i think i had one of the worst days of my life today. im just gonna go over everything that happened so just be prepared for some nastiness. i felt like this all day:

so i woke up feeling weird like something was “off”. it weirdly difficult to wake up and get out of bed, i felt bloated, i had an abnormal gag reflex while taking my pills. then when i got on the toilet……well idk how to put this delicately but i had a watery shitsplosion. and i was like. well ok. maybe it was just once. so i told my mom and got dressed and was just about to walk to class but i felt hot water in my colon about to be dispensed so i went right the fuck back to my dorm’s toilet. guess i was dead wrong. and dead wrong i would be. because holy shit this is only the beginning.

i sent an ask to the teaching assisant before my class saying “hey you got a zoom link i cant come in person i’m in the bathroom fighting for my life”. i would be fighting for my life in there the majority of the day.

so this is not good, i’m having a category 5 tummy event. i’m losing water quickly. i need to get hydrated.

so i rush myself to the student rec center because i know they have powerade zero in one of the vending machines. i swiped my card. “bad swipe. please try again.” i tried swiping it again twice more, both saying i had a bad swipe. i took out some physical cash and tried putting it in but the vending machine wouldn’t take it. it was broken. great.

lunch was being served at the time so from the cafeteria i got 3 bananas unfortunately all unripe, one toasted unbuttered bagel, and a handful of saltines. halfway through that i was back in the bathroom shitting my brains out. so i’m like, okay. i was talking to my mom the entire time during this btw. she is telling me i need to go to CVS for imodium. see the fucking issue with that is my asshole is leaking frothy bowel fluid unpredictably and there is absolutely nobody that can help me.

i told my RA the vending machines were broken and she told me the boar’s head sandwich shop in the cafeteria opens up at 1 and they have powerade there. so after 1 i went there, tummy very much upset and i’m just desperately clenching my cheeks like a drawbridge. they had no zero sugar powerade, just regular. i bought the powerade anyway. i’ve been trying to lose the freshman pounds i’ve been putting on and this would make that so much harder but i need the electrolytes. so i left with my powerade and as soon as i opened the door my stomach made the worst noise. like you know jerma worst noise? tummy worst noise 2022. and i swear humans can really learn quickly what signals mean because in every single one of these cases, that specific gurgling i got is a surefire signal to GET MY ASS A TOILET AS FAST AS I POSSIBLY CAN.

anyway i told this to my mom. so she says i may have covid because theres some gut-related problems being recorded with the new omicron variant. but the more likely scenario is that i have a norovirus that’s causing me gastroenteritis.

my mom says to call the wellness center and i’m like really losing my mind at this point because 1. theyre not on campus. theyre on another campus. 2. what the fuck are they gonna do over the phone??? i call them anyway and i’m like starting to cry now.

there was a rapid covid testing site set up outside of boar’s head literally MINUTES before but after 2pm they took it down. i was like, full on crying now. i am absolutely in hell. long story short i called that wellness center they signed me up for their patient portal and scheduled me for a PCR and rapid covid test tomorrow which i’ll be doing. but i was like boiling with frustration at this point. none of this is solving my current fucking issue. how fucking hard is it to get someone to go to CVS and get imodium for me so i can stop the onslaught of diarrhea i am current facing.

also at this point i had to reach into the emergency stock toilet paper because we ran out. and it was hurting my asshole so bad. after this i decided that since nobody was going to help me i had to bite the onions and risk shit dripping down my pants and go to CVS myself. i bought the imodium, some pepto bismol, and a gatorade zero after waiting on line between a stupid asshole in front of me taking forever to pay and a screaming child behind me whose mother just let him carry on. i tried to get the fuck out of there. but my card didnt go through so i had to step back in and try it again. then i got the fuck out of there. and as soon as i was leaving and at the red light my stomach did the Bad Churn and i was like. fuck no. no no. but i managed to suck it back up into my colon through sheer force of mental will and gluteus muscle power.

after yelling in the car at slow drivers on the road (nearly in tears…again), i found that someone took my parking space closer to my dorm room—course—so i had to powerwalk. when i got back i went straight for the bathroom for the i dont fuckin knowth time.

my ass felt like hellfire now. like someone stuck a sour warhead candy in my asshole and it eroded the membrane. and honestly considering that diarrhea is acidic that’s basically what happened at the chemical level. couldnt find any flushable wipes at CVS so all i have is this thin, coarse toilet paper. i was in HELL. and yet it still somehow managed to get worse.

anyway at least i have my imodium. i’m told to take one after every loose stool. i brought my gatorade and the medication into the bathroom for just that. the thing is the little silver sheets they come in are IMPOSSIBLE to fucking open. i managed to tear it with my bare teeth using an unnecessary amount of force to open them.

after two imodium, i noticed my bowels started to behave. i could actually exit the bathroom and feel at peace. so i went to lay down in bed and i began writing my professors a letter saying i’m sorry for two setbacks in a row (the first was the medication notification i sent them yesterday that my meds i need to stay awake and focus still haven’t been refilled. they are now though.)

i was just so upset because i was planning on actually doing work today because i FINALLY got my meds refilled, especially a lot of work for one of my big projects, but then i was hit with this. and i was trying to find a way to write a message to my professors, especially the one for that assignment where the due dates are firm unless there’s “documented exceptional circumstances” that this isn’t a joke to get out of doing work and and this legitimately immediately proceeded my medication notice even though i dont have a doctors note for it. but i sent it and thankfully i got an understanding response from that professor.

i was fine for about an hour. i was feeling really tired, my eyelids were heavy, still feeling terrible and bloated, and headache from crying. my stomach started to feel unsettled more than usual (in terms of today’s usual), so i took a pepto. i felt like complete shit. i still needed to do laundry, i still need to take a shower. everything at once was collapsing on me and i didnt have anyone to help me. my heart started to beat more aggressively, and that is never ever a good sign for me. in the back of my mind i knew what the fuck that was signaling but i dismissed it.

my mom told me to do my laundry tomorrow and that i should just get into a shower today. so i was preparing to get into the shower. i put on my shower flip-flops in but standing up gave me the runs so i ran in with my flip-flops on on.

and when i sat down i felt really, really sick. i couldn’t dismiss the way my heart was beating now, so knowing what that meant, i asked my mom, “what if i need to puke”. and she said “you will puke honey”

and what happened next was genuinely one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

i was suddenly spewing gastric liquid from both ends. i threw the fuck up all over myself and on the bathroom floor and i ran up without having wiped to the sink and threw up in there. and i swear i like i couldnt even think. my brain’s cortex literally just collapsed in this moment. my mind went blank. i had no idea where i was or what i was doing. i couldnt fucking think, i could not fucking see, my ears were all ringing and shit. i went back to the toilet as best i could and then started to process it. and i felt like i was going to fucking die in there with no one to hear me or help me. i literally couldn’t see anything for such a prolonged time. my vision was just white and spotty and i was dizzy and breathing heavy. i was staring at the ceiling just trying to process what the fuck just happened, the mess i now have to deal with, and the implications for it made me feel like i was in a dream and i was having a nightmare. i was just literally on the toilet sopping wet from cold sweat and vomit, the majority of which was pooled in my underwear and pants, behind multiple doors that require keys to access, away from home, with none of my roommates around (my pants are pulled down which would be humiliating if they were around anyway). and given that this is some kind of virus it’s highly contagious. so i just sat there and thought nobody was going to help me, i might fucking die if not from dehydration then from brain damage because it’s been a minute and my vision still isn’t back to normal, and ive never felt so fucking helpless in my entire life.

i tried my hardest texting my mom but i couldnt fucking see what i was typing.

the symptoms were like the kind where you stand up fast except way more intense. this lasted for a solid two minutes (according to the timestamps on the messages i sent my mom)

after this my mom called me and she guided me through what i should do but just Having someone there made all the difference.

despite all this, i went into the shower and washed all the undigested green beans and peanuts from YESTERDAY (so apparently my stomach was having issues yesterday if these were undigested) out of my clothes and flushed them down the toilet, i sanitized the bathroom from head to toe with lysol wipes, took a shower for myself as i was intending to anyway but kept having anxiety waves that made me feel like i was gonna throw up again but i didn’t. miserable hell. at this point standing up made me queasy but i went back to my room and slowly opened two new garbage bags, one for my wet clothes and the other for if i had to puke again. i got up and took my smelly wet clothes hanging in the shower and stuffed them in the bag but had to take a breather. then i took the bag from inside the wastebasket, tied it up, and put in the new garbage bag and put it next to my bed if i had to puke again. then i climbed into bed in my velcro towel and headwrap and my mom stayed on with me until i was feeling better and she had to shower. been sipping my fluids to rehydrate. i laid in bed until i felt well enough to change into some pajamas. though i really wished i had someone who couldve … idk at least actively aided me though? idk why it’s always me bending over backwards for myself when im in fucking hell right now.

and here i am now writing this post. lol sorry needed to vent

[leviiattacks]

hi bestie!! pls pretty pls do a levi one where he takes care of a sick y/n im feeling a bit under the weather and im getting kinda scared bc of covid :<< anything to help calm my nerves pls? thank you <3

author note :: get well soon anon :-( i’m super sick rn too (when am i not tho </3) so i get how it is. this isn’t that great because i wrote it pretty quick but i hope it eases youuu :-) this is just pure fluff and sappy stuff and yup yup MODERN LEVI BC... listen i have a soft spot for modern levi word count :: some how i got to 1.4k ????? idk how i always go over the expected word count i have in my head 

it’s literally been YEARS since the last time you were sick

if you really dig through the depths of your memory you’d say maybe you were last sick when you were seven???

it’s that or your memory is just not great

either way, you really do not want to bother anyone with your sickness so you decide to hole up in your room for the entire day

you don���t even tell levi about it because you know he’ll drop everything for the sake of your comfort

the only problem is that midway through the day you’ve become so bedridden you can’t even begin to fathom attending classes tomorrow

you guess you’ll be taking another day off

as that thought crosses your mind your bedroom door bursts open

“i...” levi lets out a long sigh and you look at him dazed from your pounding headache

you’re surrounded by scrunched up tissues and your cold meds have been left untouched

“i’m gonna get you sick too. back away.” you’re frowning and signalling with your hands that you want him out

your nose is stuffy and you’re sniffling but levi just rolls his eyes before he sits next to you on the floor

buried in your duvet you look a little like a burrito and he laughs at that

“do you know where the thermometer is? i’ll check on your fever.”

he’s looking at you waiting for an answer

you think for a second and then you try to rummage through the timeline of today’s events.

to be fair you’re a little disoriented but for some unknown reason you feel yourself get a little teary eyed

maybe it’s a mix of your upcoming deadlines looming over you or perhaps it’s missing a really important class today

but it’s so sudden you don’t even know why your body is making you act so irrationally but that’s what fevers do

“i think i” you sniff and then the waterworks flood out of you. your brain can’t adjust to the severity of your headache and your urge to sleep is higher than ever

honestly you don’t cry very much so to see the tears worries levi almost immediately

“im sorry i misplaced it.” you croak out, your voice is all scaly and weird, you hate it

stupidly you get upset about that too

don’t people sound hot when they’re sick?? why do you sound like an angry bear...?

this is not fair.

“and i’m stressed.” you blow your nose but it continues to drip despite your constant attempts to stop it

nose bright red and hair disheveled levi’s eyes soften when he sees your workbook laying at the foot of your bed

notes are scribbles in random corners and your mind map is a chaotic mess but you’re trying your best given the circumstances

god, even when you’re sick you’re working hard. you’re ridiculous but in the most endearing way known to man

“alright, lay down.” he runs a hand through your hair to fix the birds nest before he adjusts your pillows and places your head down gently

“i’m sorry i’ve lost the-”

levi’s index finger presses against your lips and he shushes you

“get some rest, please.”

you comply but not before giving him a playful glare

his warm palms move to hold your face. cheeks squished together he swipes your tears away

“i’ve got some soup on the stove you’ll be good in no time.” his soft reassurance is comforting and protective

nodding you flutter your eyes shut.

you’re unable to sleep but levi’s presence is enough to ease you even if it’s just a little you do feel better

fifteen minutes pass and levi returns he’s got you a hot cup of tea and the soup is nowhere to be seen

“i had an accident in the kitchen... so have some tea instead.”

you simply laugh it off, he’s trying his best and you’re alright with not having to be fed tomato soup

tomato soup..... it’s sick and twisted it tastes so bad

you recall having to force yourself to down an entire bowl last christmas after catching a cold

never ever again will you do that

anyways, pea soup superiority it’s the only valid type !!!

levi likes tomato soup though that’s the only reason it sits in bulk in one of the kitchen cabinets

he brushes the mountain of tissues on your bedside table away, he’ll dispose of them later

placing the cup of tea where the aforementioned tissues once were you then realize he’s brought you a slice of madeira cake to have alongside it

at this your eyes brighten you love madeira cake it’s so soft and buttery and simple but it’s just REALLY GOOD???

anyway, you definitely recommend everyone to have some it’s a solid 10/10

“picked some up on my way here.”

your heart swells affectionately

no one will ever love you as hard as he does

to be honest, the little things he does keep you grounded and you don’t really know where you’d be without him

he always pays attention to the things you love, always carries you from the couch to your bed, always tucks you in, always lingers a little just to make sure you’re sound asleep

you know about that last bit because on occasion you have stirred awake on accident

every single time he strokes your hair and holds you close ushering you back to sleep

again, you don’t know if it’s your fever making you emotional or the warm feeling of being loved so HARD?? it’s like whack a mole the only difference is being repeatedly hit by bursts of affection

not really a great analogy but your brain is fried right now and it’s the best you’ve got

levi sits next to you making the mattress shift and you then plop your head against his chest

“drink up.”

he hands you the cup of tea but you nuzzle your face into his neck instead forcing him to place it back down

“what are you doing?” he asks.

one of his hands draws circles onto your back soothing you and the other hand is fiddling around with the packaging of your cold meds, he looks to be reading the description just to make sure you can take them

the feeling of his t-shirt under your cheek fades away and you find yourself staring up at him

“get here.” he softly murmurs

rather than pressing a hand against your forehead he swoops down

at first his hands feel your face and neck

“you’re burning up.” he frowns and then he does it

he presses his forehead against yours and you swear you could stop breathing and pass out right then and there

“the fever’s getting worse, why didn’t you call me earlier i had to find out you were sick from-”

“i love you.”

he freezes.

“of course you love me but that’s not what we’re talking about right now.” he snorts and looks you right in the eye.

suddenly you’re kinda just a teeny-weeny bit self-conscious about your dark under eyes but you push that thought to the back of your mind

“no i mean. i really fucking love you levi.” the expletive only makes you sound more serious especially since you always scold him when he uses vulgar language

it looks as if his mouth moves to say it back but you stop him

“you don’t have to say it again. i’m saying it because you said it first.” you explain through your drowsy state

“when did i say it first?”

the fever must be really getting to you is what he’s thinking

“your actions spoke for you.”

he ever so slightly jabs you with his elbow before he carefully places your head back down onto his chest

“you’re so sappy.” he pecks your cheek and you hum silently still unable to breathe out of one of your nostrils

“i know but you’re sappier.”

levi doesn’t respond because he knows you’re correct

:-)

[way2gowillow]

Why does no one listen??? Like I remember when I was like 10 i started having intense wrist pain and at the time I was cheerleading so i thought it was just carrying the girls so of course I tell people hey hey my wrist hurts rlly bad can you help me but of course they say "it's just from the handstands and cheerleading just ease off" then I 'complain' so much I can't cheer anymore but the pain still persists and I'm telling people I'm in pain I'm in pain hello??? And they're like "well you know you have an bulimia it's probably just being bulimic things" so no doctors or parents listen to me then I recover from bulimia then I gain weight right and they go "oh y'know it's just you being a women that's why your back hurts" then I join my art school and I start taking dance classes to help with my theatre degree im going for so I start dancing, and the pain doesn't stop. "Dad I'm serious my feet hurt so bad I can't even walk" he goes "well maybe you should stop dancing" I go to the doctor for a checkup late last semester 'hey I'm having excruciating pain and it won't go away." "Maybe it's arthritis." But my dad cuts her off "no, they don't need any tests their fine." I'm like 15 atp and I'm trying to literally TYPE ON A KEYBOARD and my fingers lock up I show people LOOK MY FINGERS ARE STUCK I'm in pain, I'm ALWAYS sick I get sick like twice a month something is wrong. I'm taking acting classes that semester so it's not like I'm doing heavy exercise for them to blame it on he goes "you're really being dramatic you're just stressed" now here I am. 16 years old middle of the summer. I've been trying any and everything to feel better to stop the pain from coming in. And I wake up this morning and my entire body hurts. Every. Single. Inch. It's never been this bad before in my entire life. My neck, my shoulders, my elbows, my wrists, my fingers, my ENTIRE BACK EVERY INCH, my hips, my knees, my ankles, and my feet and toes hurt so bad I have literally been unable to even walk more than a few feet without having to sit down, I have a pretty intense pain tolerance too, so I walk downstairs having to get my sister to practically carry me, theyres tears pouring down my face I've never been in this much pain, I walk into my dad's office "dad please it hurts so bad make it stops" HE TELLS ME that "You've been eating pretty bad recently lots of sugar..." (He's a 2 almonds per day type of person, which is ironic because my mother is 350 pounds... But anyways) and I say"okay??? What about my PAIN"

He says "I'll take you to the gym tomorrow, and eat better, you're really doing way to much with all this crying go wash your face." THEN HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY "your room needs to be clean by the way"

WTF I AM SOBBING I AM IN SOBMUCH PAIN and I just like get dismissed like this IVE BEEN IN PAIN FOR 6 YEARS. IT WONT STOP and like why does no one listen to me I'm sick of this shit I'm just gonna just die. Like curk up in a ball and die. I can't even get out of bed, my sister helped walk me upstairs and I'm laying here but like I don't think he understands how much pain I am actually in. I never cry for pain, like ever, yet no one listens.

I don't know, I'm stuck. I need advice. Im not an adult yet I don't know what to do. I'm not like angry or anything but I'm in so much pain how can I convince anyone someone that I need help and if you don't know that any tips to make it stop. I've taken like 1000 mlg of Ibuprofen and it has bearly cut the edge off so please tips god anything would help.

-rosy

I'm so sorry. :( I know how much joint pain can hurt.

I can't convince your father, but I wouldn't give up reaching out for help. Whether it's from him or not, you make sure they don't silence you. Don't give up until you see a doctor again. Describe your joint pain- how long it lasts. If it keeps you awake, if it interferes with your daily activities. Do not hold back. Tell them about how ibuprofen does not help with the pain. (Don't directly ask for pain meds because they will be suspicious that you are only there to get some strong prescription drugs). Instead ask if something can be done to prevent the root cause of the pain.

I'm not sure why your father would object to have testing done for you. It's honestly a pretty simple laboratory test. They'll draw your blood and they'll be able to check your white blood cell count, as well as a bunch of other things. If it's autoimmune, then your white blood cells will be abnormally high. And then they can begin treating you. Any good father would want the best for their child. Him refusing to take you is extremely negligent.

Some advice? let's see...

During my early stages, I took OTC joint pain reliever. It worked for a little but I got worse. Now, whenever I get a flare up I take ibuprofen or Tylenol (whatever I have, but NEVER both). CBD products also help. Lidocaine cream like Icy-Hot helped a great deal too. I'd also invest in some compression gloves or socks. Supposedly ice can help with inflammation but I find that heat works much better for me, so I have a heating pad. If you don't have one that's okay. Just take a rag or clean cloth and wet it under a faucet. Stick it in the microwave for a minute and you can use that. (Just make sure the cloth is damp. If you can, low impact exercise is good since it keeps your body from getting so stiff. For me sometimes I feel like being a blob because everything hurts to move, but I know if I don't at least walk around a bit, then I'm going to feel so much worse.

I know this advice is kind of weak-sauce, but I at least hope it'll do something to help. Again, I highly encourage you keep telling everyone you can that you're hurting. I'm hoping maybe you can get some laboratory work done and they can identify what exactly is going on with you. I would agree that it sounds like arthritis but it could also be something else. I'm not a doctor though, and I can't diagnose anybody. I'm not qualified in any way to make an accurate and informed statement about your own health. :'D

Best of luck. <3

[h2bakugou]

hi i really like your stories! can i request a bakugoxfemreader where bakugo gets hit by a love quirk and it kinda lingers for a bit and everyone teases him. then it goes away and he kinda humiliates y/n and she goes off on him and he feels bad? fluff ending please? <3!!

a/n: hiii!! thank you so much hun! of course, this idea is actually really cute omg skfkdjh yes lets do this

summary: after getting hit by a love quirk that makes bakugou a little more interested in you which only makes everyone tease him. when its effects begin to wear off, however, he insists on teasing you.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff, some angst im so sorry what is it with me making like borderline love angst fics lately yall-

wordcount: 2.2k

;cut for length;

»»————-　★　————-««

»»————-　★　————-««

“We’ll just have to wait for the effects to wear off, there’s nothing we can do.” Recovery Girl was telling the truth, whether Bakugou believed it or not. He was fed up with this.

“You’ll return to the dorms, be thankful we have tomorrow off.” Mr. Aizawa instructed, letting Bakugou leave to head back to the dorms. Grumbling something under his breath, Aizawa shook his head as he watched Bakugou leave past the doors.

“Look after him.” Mr. Aizawa stated to the few class members that had come to see if he was okay. Those few students consisted of Deku, Mina, Sero, Kirishima, Kaminari, and you.

You were worried about Bakugou. Not only that he’d be dealing with the effects of a quirk for however long it lasted, which Recovery Girl estimated up to 72 hours.

But because the blast that hit him was hard. He’d took a pretty good beating from the villain alone, but he sure showed them who was boss. But not before declaring his love for you.

It was an effect of the quirk.

Bakugou was now feeling the effects of being madly in love with you. You happened to be right beside him when he was hit, making you the first person he saw when you helped him up off the ground, making you the target for his feelings.

Of course, he was under influence of the quirk, so you knew not to get ahead of yourself.

It felt awful. You felt worse than you could’ve felt. Watching your crush parade around calling you ‘his’ and acting like you really were an item, all while the rest of your classmates teased him, finally calling him soft and vulnerable.

But for the sake of not letting anyone know how you truly felt, you kept a smile on your face. You kept your head up, and only let it fall when you were in the privacy of your room, all while Bakugou blew up your phone with texts.

The effects of this god forsaken love quirk were at it’s peak on the second day when Bakugou attached himself to you. Holding you, hugging you, holding your hand, he had to be touching you or he claimed he was in agonizing pain.

So you just let it slide. You didn’t mind it, or mind his warm breath on your neck when he laid on you in public. His breath against your neck only made your face hotter, but you knew it was just the quirk.

You had to remind yourself that it was just the quirk.

“Kacchan’s all soft for you! How cute.” Kaminari teased. You shook your head. Then you heard the snap of a phone camera. 

Kaminari now had a collection of pictures, all consisted of Bakugou clinging onto you somehow.

Sending it in the group chat shared between the Bakusquad, Mina was the first to respond, quoting that you should take him out on a date while you had the chance.

You didn’t feel right taking advantage of him. None of it felt right. But you couldn’t peel him off of you. You wanted this to actually be him, to actually be Katsuki Bakugou holding you close, whispering that he loved you in your ear just loud enough for you to hear.

“I’m gonna head up to my room.” You mentioned, finally pulling Bakugou’s arms off of you, but he quickly stood up.

“Where are you going, Babe?” Bakugou’s voice was the same, and it made chills run down your spine as you heard it.

“Awe!” Kaminari smiled, already shipping the two of you together.

“Shut up dunce face.” Bakugou turned to Kaminari to insult him. Kaminari just smiled and hugged him, Bakugou hugging him back for once.

You took the opportunity to run to your room. 

Looking through the group chat that included Bakugou, you saw nothing but photos of Bakugou being nice. Being kind, being not himself. Hugging you, and others, being nice to Deku, like without screaming at him.

Most of the photos included you and him somehow, whether it be like just now where you were cuddling together on the couch, or how he’d held your hand.

There was still a bit of Bakugou that hadn’t completely disappeared, that was beginning to show up more and more as the effects of the quirk began to wear off.

But the pounding on your door was more than enough to keep you out of your thoughts.

Kaminari and Sero were lurking around the corner, keeping an eye on Bakugou as he knocked on your dorm door.

You quickly opened the door thinking something was wrong.

“Bakugou-”

His lips slammed onto yours, with just enough time for Kaminari to snap a picture.

Pushing him off of you, you could feel your heart racing. You shook your head and just stared at the blonde as he smiled at you.

“Go to bed, Katsuki.” You showed him your phone to indicate that it was way past his usual bedtime.

“Let me kiss you one more time idiot.” Bakugou’s voice was still so eerily familiar. It was the same one that called you a dumbass on the regular, the same one that you heard yelling as you sparred.

You didn’t know Kaminari and Sero had seen the kiss, let alone taken a picture of it. 

“This isn’t you. Just go to sleep.” You were hurting, more than you should’ve been. Why couldn’t you just tease him like the rest of your friends? Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be Bakugou?

You stayed in your room the following day, asking Jiro to politely bring you some food during lunch and dinner. 

She didn’t ask questions, but she had a feeling she knew what was wrong. But she didn’t bother you, she just told you to feel better and went along with her day. 

Bakugou’s texts eased up and by the end of the night, they had completely stopped.

Finally, after about two and a half days, the effects had completely worn off and the usual grumpy, egotistical, and crass Bakugou was back.

Class had gone by fine, you sat in your seat beside Bakugou, knowing he knew. Knowing he’d seen the texts, the pictures, all of it. He was a bomb waiting to go off, quite literally.

As the time dwindled down, you were on edge. 

And finally it happened.

Heading to the stairs to go back up to your dorm for some alone time, to hopefully get your mind off of Bakugou entirely, he stopped you, slamming you into the wall near the stairs.

“We need to talk.” Bakugou’s eyebrows were knitted together, his red eyes were glaring into your own (e/c) ones.

“What’s there to talk about? I know you’ve seen it all already.” You looked away, taking interest in the floor.

“I know you know I know. Don’t think that it was actually me.” Bakugou didn’t want to say that. Despite being under the influence of some love quirk, those were his true feelings.

Sure keeping it all bottled up was his way of doing things, but that quirk freed up a lot of his emotions. How he felt toward you. 

He didn’t want to be saying all of this, but he was.

“Don’t you think that I already know that?” You looked back up at him, hurt written all over your face.

Kaminari and Kirishima peeked their heads around the corner watching as the two of you talked. More classmates came over, watching the exchange.

“You should. I don’t like you.” Bakugou was lying. He just couldn’t say the truth. It was easier to lie about it, it was easier to keep it all inside, but seeing you like this was destroying him.

“I have liked you since we met back at the entrance exams. Do you know how awful it was to sit and watch you act like you were actually caring for me? Like you had even just the tiniest bit of interest in me? I knew it wasn’t you. I knew it was just some stupid quirk. I knew it wasn’t fucking you. Do you know how bad I wanted to kiss you back when you kissed me? Do you know how bad it hurt t shove you away like I didn’t fucking love you?” You shoved Bakugou back, now painfully aware of the audience watching you.

“Hey-”

“Save it. It’s time for you to go to bed right? Eight-thirty?” You turned and began to walk up the stairs, leaving him behind.

You picked up your pace once you were out of sight, tears beginning to flood from your eyes as you clenched your chest, your heart finally shattering into a million pieces.

“Woah dude.” Kaminari approached Bakugou.

“What?” Bakugou stared at the blonde, watching as Kaminari just sighed.

“You might want to go talk to her.” Kirishima stepped in.

“I know.” Bakugou mumbled, proceeding to head up the stairs after you.

Bakugou had his hands tucked in his pockets as he approached your dorm door. He didn’t know what to say, or how to say it.

In the middle of searching for the right thing to say, all he could think about was how he hugged you, how his hand fit perfectly in yours. How your lips felt for the few seconds they were on his.

Knocking quietly, Bakugou looked away as you pulled the door open. You didn’t say anything as you stared at him, your eyes red and puffy as tears still fell from them.

You went to close the door but Bakugou stopped it, pushing it back open as you took a few steps back into your room.

You were silent save for the muffled sounds of your crying which you cushioned with the sleeve of your sweater. You didn’t face him either. 

Bakugou stared at your back. He stood quietly as he searched harder to find the words to say, to fix this mess that he’d made. Or at least had a hand in making.

“I am an asshole.” Bakugou started. Whether it bruised his ego or not, it was the truth. He couldn’t believe he’d actually said that.

You didn’t reply, despite wanting to agree with him.

“But I am so fucking in love with you.” Bakugou raised his voice just enough so you could hear the strain behind his words. Your eyes widened as you froze in place.

“And I can’t explain how I feel. I’ve never been good at it. And I was heavily influenced by that stupid fucking quirk but I swear, behind it all, I wasn’t doing it absentmindedly. I love you.” Bakugou admitted.

“And I saw all of the shit that happened and I just wanted to erase it. Because I didn’t know how you felt. I felt like an asshole even more for acting like a dumbass.”

“And I know I am an asshole but just please look at me.” Bakugou pleaded. His voice was soft again. You slowly turned around and met his eyes.

“I don’t regret anything. And I certainly don’t regret this.” Bakugou took a few steps, almost like he was running at you, and cupped your wet cheeks, bring your lips to his.

It was perfect. The feeling of your lips on his. The way they fit against his. The familiar feeling that Bakugou recalled the first time he felt your lips. 

He savored it, even the vaguely salty taste from your tears. He didn’t stop, he couldn’t. He needed this. It was his antidote. You kissed him back, your hands slowly rising to meet his.

And when your palms cupped his hands, he pulled away, holding your face still as he butted his forehead to yours.

“I fucking love you, dumbass.” Bakugou smiled, the same smile he wore whenever he was being a jerk, the same smile he taunted all your classmates with, the smile that you knew belonged to Katsuki Bakugou.

“You are an asshole.” You cried, more tears falling from your eyes as you shook in his hands. Bakugou’s eyes widened, not knowing how to react.

“I love you too.” You smiled. It was all Bakugou needed to pull you into a hug, wrapping his arms around you, holding you like you were going to slip away.

After a few hours of explaining and talking, the two of you were on the same page, completely understanding of how one another felt, despite it being difficult to open up about it.

Waking up the next morning in each other’s arms was not how you expected the school day to start. You rubbed your eyes as you stared at a sleeping Katsuki hugging your side. 

“Hey, wake up.” You smiled, nudging his shoulder. Bakugou quickly opened his eyes at the sound of your voice.

“Oh shit.” Bakugou glanced at the clock that sat on your bedside table and darted up.

“I’ll see you in class, love you.” Bakugou gave you a quick kiss before running out of your room and over to his.

You smiled, feeling so much better. Talking about it helped. And Bakugou was now proud to call you his. And even more so, he wasn’t ashamed of the pictures taken of him, or the dozens of messages he’d sent to you.

He was going to fill his camera roll with dozens more of pictures of you and him. Ones that allowed both of you to be open and loving toward one another, without some second-hand quirk getting in the way.

And it started with one picture of Bakugou kissing you while you laid together.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[creepytoes88]

Vinnie smut

Do not read if uncomfortable with 👇🏻

Daddy kink/hitting(ass,face,thighs)/unprotected sex /and mean names 🥰 PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS 👏AND SEND ME THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ ONLY ABOUT VINNIE FOR RIGHT NOW THO 🥸 anyways let’s get too it lol sorry for any typos

I could feel Vinnie’s hot breath on the back of my neck as my back was pushed against his hard chest. Vinnie’s right hand wrapped tightly around the inside of my thigh sandwiched between both of my legs. I can feel his hip bones pushing into my backside, making it so hard to breath normally. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, my mind starts to wonder to those forbidden places.

I let out a sigh the ungodly things I would let him do to me taking over my mind “GOD I need help.” I took a deep breath before I looked at the clock on Vinnie’s night stand “I can’t wake him up he has photo shoot in a couple hours” I think to myself. I close my eyes trying to fall asleep but I couldn’t stop thinking about the way his warm hands and cold rings felt against my skin and how his soft plump lips would feel trailing down my stomach. I shot my eyes open before letting out a sigh and cuddling deeper into Vinnie I turned around so my head was buried in his chest.

“I could just breathe his sweet scent all day..” I think to myself before I even realize what I was doing I rested my icy cold hand on his warm jaw rubbing his cheek. Vinnie let out gasp, eyes shooting open “Are you ok, princess?” he whisper shouts not being able to see me in the pitch black room “y-yea I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up baby“ I said as I thread my fingers through his hair “No you’re not, what’s wrong sweetie please tell me.” Vinnie asks worried as he wraps his warm arms around my waist I could feel his cock against my thigh and his sweet voice caught me off guard I couldn’t help it and let out a soft moan softly tugging on his hair.

Almost immediately I felt him start to get stiff against my legs I let out a slightly louder moan at the idea of Vinnie actually fucking me right now he instantly shoved 2 of his long fingers in my mouth making me choke a little in shock. My eyes widen as I look up at him “I should have known that you were just hungry for my dick” he says as he kisses down my neck “I’m right aren’t I slut” he grunts in my face. He flips me so my back is against his chest again and pushes his massive clothed cock against my thong “covered” ass. I let out a whine letting him know I’m ready now no foreplay needed, I suck his fingers that are in my mouth he would occasionally push his fingers deeper hitting the back of my throat making me choke every now and then.

“Answer me slut“ he grunts as he takes the fingers out of my mouth to lightly smack my left cheek. I moan at the stinging sensation “Y-YES DADDY!!” "I’m s-s-sorry” I let out in gasps and stutters. Vinnie just chuckles sending shivers straight down my spine I could feel the goose bumps rising on my skin and the blush creeping on my cheeks. I’m so thankful he can’t see me in his dark ass room “tell daddy want you want Princess” he says as he caresses my bottom lip with his thumb, nibbling on my earlobe “your b-big cock daddy.” I whine out “ ah-ah-ah what are the magic words princess” Vinnie says as he sits up so he can have better access to my body.

I could practically visualize the smirk on his face just by the sound of his voice, no lights needed. I blushed again, is it worth it? I think to myself is it worth the short lived embarrassment that is just going to inflate his ego more “I’m waiting princess I still wanna get some sleep before the shoot tomorrow” Vinnie says as he starts fiddling with the hem of the tank top I’m wearing and his other hand rubs the inside of my thigh as he sits on his knees, I could feel his eyes scanning my body. Fuck I can’t do this I’m going to explode and he barely even touched me yet GOD of course its fucking worth it what am I thinking. “Pretty Please daddy will you fuck me with your big cock!!” I let out in a shout as Vinnie smacks the inside of my thigh a couple times making me let out a Loud groan, I could feel my wetness tripping down on the bed sheets even with my panties on “mmm whatever you want princess.”

Vinnie says in a sexy, raspy voice and he pulls my top over my head and rips my panties right off my body “ VINNIE THOSE WERE MY FAVORITE PAIR!!?!” I shouted still very turned on but slightly pissed “I’ll buy you a hundred pairs of underwear if you shut the fuck up and let me make you feel good.” Vinnie states with confidence “try not to wake the entire neighborhood ok” he says as he pushes his head into my neck Vinnie’s hands hold my hands and hips to the bed making it very difficult for me to move and grind against his bulge. Vinnie trails his lips slowly down nipping and sucking on random spots slowly driving me crazy I began to let out soft moans, I feel Vinnie’s lips trailing between my breast with out warning he grabs ahold of my right nipple with his teeth bitting it softly. Enough to feel good but hard enough to make me let out a loud unexpected moan Vinnie licks and sucks on my bud for awhile before repeating on my left nipple.

I was so focused on the feeling of his mouth on my nipples I didn’t even realize he moved my hands so they were above my head before I could react Vinnie pushes his middle and ring finger knuckle deep into my heat spreading his fingers as much as he could. As he thrusts them into me repeatedly at a fast pace, His thumb rubbing my clit in tiny circles as I let out moans and whimpers “are you daddy’s little slut?!” He says against my upper stomach I could feel the vibrations in my tummy “YES DADDY IM YOUR SLUT” “such a good girl for me princess, I think you deserve a treat.” Vinnie let’s go of my hands and moves so he’s head is between my legs he grabs my legs and throws them over his shoulders he immediately wraps his hands around my thighs so I can’t move.

“AH please baby I need it so bad” I say in a whiny voice Vinnie dives his head down sucking on my clit with no mercy his tongue plunging in and out of my dripping pussy I couldn’t help but scream his name it felt so good. “VINNIE! YESSS DADDY MORE PLEASE!!” I was no stranger to having sex with Vinnie but I swear everytime we have sex it’s like the first time but it only gets better and better I could feel the knot beginning to form. I run my fingers in Vinnie’s hair pulling at the roots and pushing him deeper into me I open my eyes to get a good look at him to see his beautiful hazel eyes staring right back at me. Full of lust and adornment I throw my head back in a pure fit of pleasure begging for Vinnie to just fuck me already. Before I can do or say anything I release on Vinnie’s Gorgeous face I let out I few more moans and I feel Vinnie pull away he smashes his lips into mine and I can taste my self on his lips I groan in response grabbing his strong shoulders digging my nails in to the flawless skin of his back Vinnie looks down at me “oh I’m not done yet sweetie” Vinnie slaps the inside of my thighs and the sides of my ass a couple time as I cry out in pleasure at the sweet stinging sensation that comes with it.

Vinnie pulls down his boxers revealing his massive cock Vinnie is a beautiful man there is no denying that and his cock is no different my mouth starts watering at the thought of sucking his on perfect balls( ball sucking simulator🤌😎 either you get it or you don’t lol) and him ramming his thick cock down my throat till he finally spills over. I go to grab his bulge and he slaps my hand away “not a chance I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’re not gonna be able to fucking walk straight for a month!” I moan at the thought of what he just said Vinnie pulls his boxers down and he wraps one of his large hands around my neck and the other on my boob. Vinnie rubs his tip against my clit making me whine and moan “beg for it bitch” vinnie says in a airy tone “pllllease daddy fuck me I need it now” I gasp “What was that princess I don’t think I heard you correctly ?”

“ p-p-PLEASE DADDY I NEED IT!!” I heard Vinnie chuckle before rubbing his cock between my folds “need what princess?” Vinnie ask again playing dumb “YOUR BIG COCK DADDY PLEASE I CANT-!” Vinnie pushes into me before I can finish my sentence, he pushes faster then normal making me let out a whine, he’s so big! I always have to adjust to his size I moan as he hits balls deep making me arch my back pushing my chest to his. Vinnie let’s out a soft moan as my walls tighten around his cock “ M-move Daddy!” I moan loudly my hands rushing to his unruly curly hair I tug on the roots and wrap my legs around his waist and Vinnie let’s out quite literally the hottest sound he’s ever made. “F-FUCK baby you’re soo tight!” Vinnie pants and moans as he shifts around to get him self more comfortable before almost pulling all the way out before slamming right back in to me “OH GOD VINNIE, MORE PLEASE , YOU FILL ME UP SO GOOD DADDY!!”

I shout I wanted to hear him make more of those delicious sounds the thought of Vinnie’s moans and pants making me tighten around his cock once again making him release a loud moan. I throw my head back in pure ecstasy feeling him pound in over and over again hitting spots I didn’t even know existed until I met Vinnie. I let out strings of nonsense the pleasure taking over my mind and body my eyes closed and all I could think about was how good Vinnie felt grazing my g spot every-time he pushed in and the sound of skin slapping skins, his pants and moans driving me absolutely crazy even the feeling of his balls bouncing off my ass cheeks every time he thrusted in ( I’m fucking dead lol 😭) making my mind melt. I could feel the knot in my stomach beginning to come together again and as if Vinnie knew he flips me over so my face is in the pillows and my ass is in the air. Vinnie slaps my left ass cheek I let out a whimper before pushing back on him and letting out a moan Vinnie groans and rubs my ass cheeks “count them whore” he slaps my right cheek this time “two!” Another one on my left “Three!” Vinnie then smacks both of them at the same time a couple times in a row.

I let out loud moans I know I’ll have hand prints tomorrow but it’s so worth it “you like that huh baby” he laughs and kisses my shoulder blades rubbing my ass I moan and I start to feel the knot break before I could even say anything Vinnie cut in “Don’t you fucking dare cum yet Bitch!” “PLEASE VINNIE I CAN’T HO-O-LD IT MUCH L-LONGER!” “I said fucking hold it slut!” He grunts as he grabs ahold of my hair pulls back on it so my head is facing up and smacks my face once or twice “ OH FUCK YES DADDY HIT ME AGAIN PLEASE!” “You like it when daddy hits you princess?” He asks as more of a statement then a question knowing damn well I love it “PLEASE AGAIN DADDY” Vinnie smacks me on my thigh this time significantly harder then he did on my face. I moan as my back arch’s into him as I start thrusting back towards Vinnie he starts rubbing my clit in circles again “you want me to put my babies in you beautiful” OH YES DADDY PLEASE CUM IN ME!” I let out more moans and gasps as he thrusts so hard and deep into me I can’t hold it anymore.

I let out the loudest moan I have ever made “DADDY YESSSS” it felt like a balloon popped in my stomach I was shaking from the pleasure still coursing through my veins. My nerves shot as I was basically falling asleep at this point I feel Vinnie’s hips snapping against my ass a couple more times before I feel him release inside of me I hear Vinnie let out a deep moan and a grunt “IM SORRY DADDY I COULDN’T HOLD IT ANYMORE!!” Vinnie flips me over while still inside of me. My eyes still clamped shut from pleasure and sleepyness, also partly because I don’t want to see the disappointment on his face. Oh how wrong I was “Look at me princess” Vinnie says softly pushing my hair out of my face. I open my eyes at the sound of his voice to see his beautiful face with a proud smirk displayed perfectly on his face.

Vinnies eyes then leave mine to look down where the two of us meet. I slowly trail my eyes down the same path as my lover to see just how big of a mess I made “Princess you never told me you are a squirter?!” “That’s because I never knew I could. None of my past boyfriends made me do THAT before!” I said with a giggle “well how did it feel” Vinnie asks as he pulls out watching as both mine and his cum runs out licking his lips before leaning down to clean up the mess he made “ S-So good daddy...so good” I said as I push my hips against his face and throw my head back so much for getting some more sleep I guess.

[fckwritersblock]

Act 1: While We’re Young

Chapter 5

Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens x Black OC

(Unedited.)

Tuesday

January 10th 2005

Last night was the only night I'm allowing myself to cry over him and his 'return'. What good would it do me? No, I was gonna take Erik and whatever he had to throw at me by storm.

Waking up the next day, I feel refreshed. Like a brand new person with a more positive mindset. Today I had 3 classes and I'm determined to have a good Erik free day.

That whole Erik free thing went out the window as soon as I got to my first class.

Double O Computer Programming 1 was a junior class, however I'd taken it during the summer during my first year at UC Berkeley. DOCP 2 wouldn't be available until next semester but I needed to have a class since this was my first year on the actual campus. Thankfully Miss Hill really needed a T.A and the fact that I could help with an algorithm that tied into thermal nuclear astrophysics had her sold.

Right after I finished taking attendance, she barely got a word out before the door swung open revealing Erik as our late comer. I quickly glanced at the sheet in front of me, scanning for his name. I was so use to calling him N’dajaka when we were kids, I completely skipped over ‘Erik Stevens’. I huffed rolling my eyes, arms crossed over my chest. His timbs were the only thing heard shuffling across the room making hid way toward the front of the class. Wordlessly he handed Miss Hill before his eyes were on me. They scanned me from top to bottom, before locking with me a smug grin on his lips.

"Hey Lona," my jaw dropped.

Before I could get out a word, Miss Hill opened her mouth, looking up from the paper he handed her.

"Welcome Erik, sorry for the confusion."

"It's all good," he shrugged.

"Im Miss Hill, and I see you already know my aid. As I explained to the class prior to taking attendance, If I'm unavailable feel free to email or call her during the hours listed on the sheet." She is then took a sheet from me and handed him to me. "Other than that, find a seat."

He nodded pretending look over the sheet before averting his gaze back on me.

"I'm definitely gon do that."

Fuck my life right?

Well, Erik just so happened to be in the Calculus class I skipped two days ago. I thank God my record was squeaky clean and Mr. Kennedy accepted my poor excuse before I was quickly reminded the man upstairs has a sense of humor as the only available seat was next to Erik.

"The person next to you will be your partner for the remainder of the semester so let's take the next 15 minutes getting know one another hmm?." Mr. Kennedy instructed.

I couldn't suppress the groan that slipped as Erik casually leaned back in his chair, examining me.

"You heard the man, get to know me."

"I know all I need this know about you Erik."

"Oh so I'm Erik now? Like that?" He spoke cool, calm, and collected like our exchanged was normal.

I gripped my pencils tight, my knee bouncing up and down my body tense.

"Let me set things straight now. We don't need to talk to one another. If it doesn't have anything to do with any of the classes we take together, don't want to hear it. When you see me act like you don't know me. We clear?"

The expression on his face was unreadable before his lip twitched slight him responding.

"Crystal."

Wednesday

January 24th, 2005

It had been two weeks since Erik showed up here.

Ok that's a lie.

Apparently this man has been here. And to top it off, this mans name was in every bitch mouth like the second coming of Jesus Christ. From what I've observed though, he doesn't say much, or gives any of these broads much attention. He don't say much in general actually, he's really good at blending in. He got that laid back, mysterious, bad boy vibe going for him and these females out here hella into that.

But when he opens his mouth, that cocky bastard sure knows how to disrupt my entire soul at least while we're in class.

Outside of class though, he acts like I'm invisible.

It was like he never knew me. And honestly, I don't know how to feel about it. I know that's what I said I wanted but it bothers me just the same.

Today in particular though, he argued me down during our Calculus class. We had one problem to figure out before we could leave class today. You and your partner were supposed agree on the answer, and heaven forbid he just agree with me so we can get out of here. Math was always my subject when we were kids, nothing has changed. I was damn near about to say fuck it when he started laughing.

What in the entire fuck it so funny?" I was fuming.

"You," he shook his head. "You really hella mad."

"Um, YES!" I damn near shouted fed up. "You literally been tryna convince me it's 5 when it's-"

"Chill. I know the answer is 3 girl. C'mon, let's go." So smoothly he closed the book, grabbed his bag and headed to the front.

I was so upset, I had to let him do all the talking when it came to explain to the teacher I'll answer and how we got there. I know I open my mouth I wasn't going to say anything nice.

"Girl what crawled up your ass and died?" Donise questioned with a stank look as we sat at one of the benches outside of the library.

"Yeah What did Erik do now," I could hear teasing in Tatiana's tone so I flipped her off.

Only giving a brief explanation, I went on a mini rant about what happened in class 20 minutes ago. Donise's thought it was funny, while Tati just shook her head.

"I still can't believe it him," Tatianna glanced as a group of guys from across the quad headed our way, Erik included.

"Yes, and I wish it wasn't."

Tatianna was the first real friend I made in a while. I was actually tutoring her online for a while before she found out I was 4 years younger than her. Our friendship started off as a trade. I was her tutor and she both convinced and enrolled in a mentor program to help me with my social skills. I didn't speak to anyone much when Erik left, but I got into a lot of fights. According to the school counselor I was taking out my anger and abandonment issues on.I have meds to tame the anger, and while I haven't had to take them in a while Eric definitely bring that anger out of me.

"Girl that's just sexual tension. You got to fuck all that out." Ashley put in her unwanted two cents.

"Trust me when I tell you on God it isn't."

"Well if you out to holla, then trust and believe I will." She tossed her hair over her shoulder

I didn't really mess with Ashley like that, but she was Tati's frat sister which made them 'friends'. That little thot pocket will screw anything with legs, D, and a pulse and I'm not bout that life. Plus she messy as fuck and I don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

"I don't doubt it," I smirked as Donise said exactly what I was thinking.

Donise was coo' though, I meet her when I first got here 2 months ago. Believe It or not she was apart of the welcome comity for MIT and turned out her and Tatiana were already friends. Once she figured out  who I was, I was shot to the front line during registration and everything.

"Anyways, y'all going Ant and them party tomorrow?" Ashley questioned probably tryna bum a ride.

"What party?"

"The Que's," Donise answered. "The dudes with Erik are frat."

Now this was news to me. I met most of them before but I had no idea there were in a sorority. Examining them, I guess it all made sense. Most in the clique sported some sort of purple and yellow lanyard either around their neck or on their keychain that hung from their jean pocket as if  they wanted everybody to know who they were. Which I wouldn't doubt.

"Ladies! What we chattin about?" Moses questions every bit of his thick English accent tapering off every word.

"Our plans for mañana," Tati answered l

"Word. Y'all coming to the party tomorrow?" Jay spoke playing with a few strands of Donise's curls.

"Tomorrow? It's Thursday." I said confused. "Ain't there class the next day?"

"What's the matter, you can't hang?" I glared at Jay, knowing he was only chastising me because him and Erik were close, according to Tati.

I swear to God men gossip more than women do. Rolling my eyes I spared Erik a glance and he looked like he was waiting on me to respond.

"Oh, I can definitely hang."

I couldn't hang.

Around midnight I was  in the bathroom throwing up everything, damn near hug in the toilet as my surrounding looks so blurry and I can barely function. Im not sure when I'd finally finished, but I could feel someone picks me up and out the bathroom and soon everything goes blurry and then black.

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