#all i can do is keep struggling and hope those dreams don't come true

[magicgrotto]

i keep having dreams about SH (:

[mikareo]

eternal sunshine ── itoshi rin

w.c. 841 content: itoshi rin x fem reader, post-break up angst

༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

are you okay?

he keeps asking. that same question appears in your messages a few times a day, a few times too many. it's nice to know he cares, a little bit in the slightest at least, but it doesn't help with the raw aching in the center of your chest— where all of the affection you hold for rin is struggling to find a place in your body to settle. it's pulling at your skin and tugging your limbs, urging your fingers to type the infamous 'i miss you' that lives in the delusion your heart wants to come true.

but you do miss him.

you really miss him.

you want to move on, but you can't. you can't seem to push past the denial that you aren't together anymore. you broke up. he broke up with you. you aren't a couple. you aren't his girlfriend. you aren't the love of his life. rin will forget about you. he'll forget you. you don't matter.

you're nothing and he's everything.

he holds so much real estate in your chest that you find yourself starting the car, backing onto the street, and heading towards the home you once shared. will you regret this? probably. do you even care anymore? no.

so, when you raise your hand before the door, there's no hesitation, no anxiety seeping from your fingertips— just heavy grief that hasn't been processed yet. grief that you're begging to receive closure for; and you're one step closer to that gift when the handle turns, and you're face-to-face with the man who broke your heart.

his eyes look heavy. there isn't an ounce of surprise in them. it's almost as if he was expecting you...

...god, you're so predictable. you're so pathetic and desperate that he knew you'd cave and come. why can't you be strong like him? why can't you move on?

"i can't let you in." rin murmurs. his statement is firm and his body doesn't budge. "this isn't healthy, baby."

in spite of his words, he cups your face. the feeling of his palms is familiar. a touch that your dreams welcome when you can't find sleep, and yearn for the comfort you once shared. his blue gaze has love hidden behind those steely irises. you know it. there has to be some love left in there for you. you can't have just vanished from his heart. that's what you choose to believe— a perfect example of how you convince yourself to stay stranded in denial despite knowing otherwise.

"let's talk," you beg, "one last time."

"what's left to say?" his voice cracks and rin's strength wavers for a moment. "i can't do this. i'm not cut out for this. i don't have time for a relationship; i've already said all of this, please don't make me say it again."

you can tell he's on the verge of tears, lip quivering and eyebrows furrowed, rin pulls you closer. his hands magnetically find your body and he embraces you in a tight hug. it's selfish. he's leading you on once more and giving you false hope that maybe, this time, the conversation will end differently. he longs for the comfort you bring him, but won't provide that same favor when you ask for it.

it's too much to handle alone. you're tired.

this needs to stop.

"i've just been thinking so much lately." you begin, trying to find some courage. any courage. anything to help. "and i've realized that i put so much into this. i put my all into you. i gave you everything, and i'm not— i'm just not—"

"not what?"

a sigh escapes you.

"i'm not enough to convince you to stay."

rin's arms tighten. "you're perfect. you are. i'm the one who's not enough for you. believe me—"

"how can i?" you interrupt. "if i was perfect, you'd try harder. you'd want to keep me around so we can help each other be better. i hate who i'm becoming without you. i have no one to care for. i have all of these feelings and i don't know where to put them because they just want to feel for you. i'm running around in circles trying to process everything that happened because it was so abrupt, but i just can't do it— i want you. all i want is you. i don't know who i am anymore. rin please. you can still change your mind. i'm begging. i've begged so many times. let this work, just once. i love you."

his lips are on yours in a split second, deeply kissing you to end your mindless ramble, and his plan works. he shuts you up.

he ends the conversation, once again, with a kiss; never giving a real answer to your questions. never giving a solution to the dilemma. rin just restarts the cycle of manipulation that he doesn't even realize he's doing. you can't let each other go. your efforts will always fail. you'll be stuck in this loop forever. lonely, yet loving him.

[isopod-chan]

Humble affirmations.

Everything will be ok.

I can handle whatever comes my way.

I can always start over.

I will always have a second chance.

I always do and give my best.

I am brave enough to take the initiative.

Even if things don't go the way I hoped, I can always find a way to turn things around.

It's easy and effective to ask for help.

I can always find help when I need it, even if it's not from my peers.

People notice the effort I put in my work.

I enjoy the work I do, and I'm satisfied with my effort and progress.

(And if you don't enjoy it) A better opportunity awaits me after my work here is done.

I always have more opportunities in life.

What's meant for me will always be there for me.

I am kind and patient.

Those who do me wrong don't deserve my energy wasted on them.

I am focused and in my lane.

There's always tomorrow.

(Explanation under the break)

When it comes to the law of assumption, LOA blogs/coaches believe you should go big or go home: don't settle for small manifestations and delay your desired reality when you can have it all right now. Hell, you already HAVE it all. Your dream life was here the whole time! That's what they say, at least.

But many people, especially newcomers, struggle to take themselves seriously when making such big manifestations. It may feel too fake to them, making them quit or just avoid pursuing LOA in general.

They might think, "How long do I have to keep lying out loud for this law to work?"

And while my main method of manifesting is always go big or go home, I find humble affirmations very helpful and easier to manifest with. And I'm sure many of the formerly mentioned newcomers feel the same way. Everything you believe to be true, is true. And if it's easier to believe these humblr affirmations are true, then who are we to judge? What matters is that you manifest the life you deserve.

So, I made a list of humble affirmations for those who prefer these over traditional affirmations.

[starwell-tarot]

PAC: One thought - one to remember, one to appreciate and one to let go of 🖍️

Pick a pile reading: What is one thought or idea you should remember (or keep in your mind), a thought or idea you should appreciate (and ponder), and one thought or idea you should let go of (or heal through).

Hope this can be some good insight or advice <3

Pile 1-3, left to right

Pick the highlighter you feel most drawn to. It's okay to pick more than one, you can feel attracted to multiple piles and read multiple interpretations.

Disclaimer: All my readings contain themes of mental and emotional struggles and pains as they strive to comfort those. I don't intend on rubbing you the wrong way and I'm doing this with the hope I can help people feel better, but if it doesn't work I might just not be the right person to comfort you.

Disclaimer: I'm not a mental health professional in any way. Although my tarot readings focus on giving emotional and mental reassurance, I can only give you as much as a friend could give you - encouraging words, friendly advice, a shoulder to cry on or a metaphorical hug. Please take in the information responsibly, and if your mental health is greatly affecting your day to day functions, please consider looking for a professional if possible. I'm afraid I can't be more than a tarot-enthusiastic friend.

Take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Take care of yourselves and remember hope is your best friend. 🖤

Pile one: Orange highlighter

° A thought to remember - XVIII The Moon

One must always remember the cycle of time; for time is meant for everything; there's a time to make mistakes, there's a time to fail an expectation, a time to dream, a time to act, a time to succeed and a time to be reborn. There is a time for everything. No matter the outcome, it was the time it appeared in your life. So do not fret over half baked decisions made yesterday, that did not fulfil tomorrow's aspirations, and simply realize just how time forgives all your mistakes, so you should forgive yours too.

° A thought to appreciate - II of Pentacles, XIX The sun, Ace of Cups

I hope this thought has actually crossed your mind, pile one. Because it very true. Time spent looking after yourself, recharging your battery, lifting up your own spirits, doing what love, what you crave, letting yourself be bathed in the healing light of the sun - that time can never be a waste. Maybe it's tough to fit it in your schedule, but it will be worth it. Figure out how to balance out your unhappy with your happy. (And if you don't know what your happy is, sunlight and bodies of water are showing up so consider a vacation 🌞)

° A thought to let go of - The ace of pentacles R

Let go of that little demon in your head that is always slapping your hand away whenever you want to reach out and do something for yourself. Before you can even get that candy you crave, you retract your hand away as if burnt. No more, let that go. Offer yourself the treat. Spoil yourself a little. Enlarge the amount of self love and care you think you deserve.

Pile 2: yellow highlighter

° One thought to remember - XI Sofia

Remember that you are in control of your own narrative. There is no one that knows better than you whether you're strong or weak, so do not let anyone else decide. Not even your doubts. You are smarter, stronger than your doubts or anyone else who doubts you - because at the end of the day, you know you're going to pull through. Decide what you're capable of and stick with it.

° One thought to appreciate - The Emperor R, VIII of Cups

Yes, it is true. You might not believe you're strong or brave, that you'll ever be able to enforce people to treat your fairly and with respect. You might not believe you are worthy of being admired and treasured. But it is, in fact true. It is time you take the hand of your inner child, that scared, lonely toddler living inside of you and show them walking on two legs is not that hard. It'll come naturally. And before you even know it, you're running and about to win the most important race with the most important trophy - being the person admire and love the most.

° One thought to let go of - The hierophant

Not every single advice, criticism and life philosophy your hear should have power over you. Maybe you're not meant to open the door, you're meant to break it down. Maybe you're not meant to bake an apple pie, you're meant to put mango in it. Do not fall into corruption. It's nothing personal, most people think they know the right way to live life, but they don't know the right way to live YOUR life. Don't fall into their hands, you are not play dough. While it's bad to completely ignore what other people say (for some advice can actually help), do take things with a grain of salt and allow your own thoughts to dictate your decisions.

Pile 3: Pink highligher

° One thought to remember - I The master of Secrets

As noble as the search for truth is; the protection of mystery is just as noble. You don't have to understand everything - sometimes you can let things be, exist and be felt, like the vibrations of nature. For every book you've read, for every question you've answered, for every philosophy you've pondered, believe in magic once more. Believe your charisma, a word and a thought powerful enough, they can bring you gifts of blessings. Allow yourself to be heard, but then again - don't speak too loudly when around those who want to stomp on your magic. Choose when to be someone's solution, or someone's question.

° One thought to appreciate - VII of swords R, V of pentacles R, Queen of pentacles R

Your past really doesn't define who you are. "Your past made you who you are today" is major bull. No, it just gave you trauma and bad habits that need to be worked on and rewired. But they can. The scars can heal and you can let go and forgive everything that once was, forgive everything you once were. You should never blame yourself for not knowing better. You know better now. Your future starts now, so instead of constantly betraying your past and trying to revenge on the person you once were, start catering and showing love and care towards the you right now, who needs a hand to hold, and a warmer mind and heart to be with.

° A thought to let go of - II of swords

You are not trapped, pile number 3. When overwhelmed, a feeling which must be thoroughly validated, we seem to not see a way out. But there always is one. In every single movie, you always see the main character bust out of jail with a spoon, a pin, a misplaced brick. Use all that you can, try all that you can. Gather up your courage to fumble in the dark until the blindfold comes off and you finally see all the opportunities in the world. Even if it takes some time, you got this. You will find sight of what you need.

R means reversed.

Let me know if the pile you picked resonates with you! 😎

If you like my work, consider donating to me so I can continue doing tarot readings!

©starwell-tarot do not copy or repost

[mollywog]

A list of people Katniss Prim’s-the-only-person-in-the-world-I'm-certain-I-love Everdeen loves (in the order mentioned in the text)

Prim

How could I leave Prim, who is the only person in the world I'm certain I love?

Rue

Sing. My throat is tight with tears, hoarse from smoke and fatigue. But if this is Prim's, I mean, Rue's last request, I have to at least try. The song that comes to me is a simple lullaby, one we sing fretful, hungry babies to sleep with. It's old, very old I think. Made up long ago in our hills. What my music teacher calls a mountain air. But the words are easy and soothing, promising tomorrow will be more hopeful than this awful piece of time we call today.

[proceeds to sing a song]

The final lines are barely audible.

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you.

Peeta

It's like being home again, when they bring in the hopelessly mangled person from the mine explosion, or the woman in her third day of labor, or the famished child struggling against pneumonia and my mother and Prim, they wear that same look on their faces. Now is the time to run away to the woods, to hide in the trees until the patient is long gone and in another part of the Seam the hammers make the coffin.

But I'm held here both by the hovercraft walls and the same force that holds the loved ones of the dying. How often I've seen them, ringed around our kitchen table and I thought, Why don't they leave? Why do they stay to watch?

And now I know. It's because you have no choice.

* There are other instances- just sighting the first

Haymitch

I turn and see them all waiting in a big chamber at the end of the hall - Effie, Haymitch, and Cinna. My feet take off without hesitation. Maybe a victor should show more restraint, more superiority, especially when she knows this will be on tape, but I don't care. I run for them and surprise even myself when I launch into Haymitch's arms first. When he whispers in my ear, "Nice job, sweetheart," it doesn't sound sarcastic.

Additional Notes:

Katniss doesn’t talk about feeling a sense of debt to Haymitch, even though he continually helps keep her alive. This feels significant, and I choose to believe it’s because she considers him family

Haymitch is included in the running away from D12 scheme because she can’t leave him

After the bombing in D13 and failed propo she only wants to be comforted by Haymitch “because he loves Peeta, too.”

Gale

"I've heard worse," she says. "You've seen how people are, when someone they love is in pain."

Someone they love. The words numb my tongue as if it's been packed in snow coat.

Of course, I love Gale. But what kind of love does she mean? What do I mean when I say Ilove Gale? I don't know. I did kiss him last night, in a moment when my emotions were running so high. But I'm sure he doesn't remember it. Does he? I hope not. If he does, everything will just get more complicated and I really can't think about kissing when I've got a rebellion to incite. I give my head a little shake to clear it.

Madge

I nod and go straight to my room. I sit on the bed, knowing I will never write those letters. They will be like the speech I tried to write to honor Rue and Thresh in District 11. Things seemed clear in my head and even when I talked before the crowd, but the words never came out of the pen right. Besides, they were meant to go with embraces and kisses and a stroke of Prim's hair, a caress of Gale's face, a squeeze of Madge's hand. They cannot be delivered with a wooden box containing my cold, stiff body.

Too heartsick to cry, all I want is to curl up on the bed and sleep until we arrive in the Capitol tomorrow morning. But I have a mission. No, it's more than a mission. It's my dying wish. Keep Peeta alive. And as unlikely as it seems that I can achieve it in the face of the Capitol's anger, it's important that I be at the top of my game. This won't happen if I'm mourning for everyone I love back home. Let them go, I tell myself. Say good-bye and forget them. I do my best, thinking of them one by one, releasing them like birds from the protective cages inside me, locking the doors against their return.

Honorable Mention

(She at minimum cares about and feels responsible for these people - love could be implied.)

Mrs. Everdeen - Katniss loves Prim, Prim loves their mother, Katniss at minimum feels responsible for her mother if only for her sisters sake

The Hawthornes - She provided for their family from the woods after Gale starts work in the mines. They are included as part of her escape plan in CF. She gets Hazelle the job working for Haymitch when times are lean.

Finnick and Johanna - Come on! She doesn’t say as much, but she loves them, right?

District 12 - she altered the Lady the Goat story to protect people back home. Also Greasy Sae.

Cinna

Effie

Please add your thoughts!

* Inspired by this question

[yallemagne]

The way Mina emphasizes Harker. The way Jonathan sounds so vulnerable and scared. The way Lucy sounds just as vulnerable and scared.

She loves the way it sounds: Wilhelmina Harker. In the eyes of God, he's finally hers, and she's finally his.

She's so thrilled to finally wed Jonathan even if it isn't how they imagined, even if he can't stand for the ceremony, even if their only witnesses are strangers. She forgets that she's already referred to him as her husband because she's just so delighted that now it's true.

It doesn't matter to her that it isn't picture-perfect. In all likelihood, she never expected picture-perfect. Even in her immense joy, she still lets slip a little of her insecurity that she has no dowry to provide to him. But dowries, pah! Who cares! He'd marry her no matter what, and the same can evidently be said about her.

I gotta go into Jonathan's whole speech I---

'Wilhelmina'—I knew then that he was in deadly earnest, for he has never called me by that name since he asked me to marry him—'you know, dear, my ideas of the trust between husband and wife: there should be no secret, no concealment. I have had a great shock, and--'

The sound that plays! It swoops down like a bat over his head as he tries to think of what happened to him. There are also his ideas of trust-- they're very similar to Lucy's "A woman ought to tell her husband everything—don't you think so, dear?".

'--when I try to think of what it is I feel my head spin round, and I do not know if it was all real or the dreaming of a madman. You know I have had brain fever, and that is to be mad.'

His voice gets deeper, more solemn. It feels reminiscent of the way Renfield talks. It's very haunting and it shows his dire understanding that, were they in England, he would be denied his right to marriage even if Mina still wanted him.

'The secret is here, and I do not want to know it. I want to take up my life here, with our marriage.' 

Such ease in those words! "With our marriage"! It's like a weeping sigh of relief.

'Are you willing, Wilhelmina, to share my ignorance? Here is the book. Take it and keep it, read it if you will, but never let me know; unless, indeed, some solemn duty should come upon me to go back to the bitter hours, asleep or awake, sane or mad, recorded here.'

The words both read and sound just like wedding vows and the passion he has to muster for them is too much for his mind and body to handle, and he falls back asleep. But then all that uncertainty is deeply contrasted by his firm "I will."

Lucy speaks in a constant whisper, even while she's alone, she's so quiet. It is like how Mina says writing is like whispering to herself, but now, it's less comforting. Lucy's taken to writing in imitation of Mina because she misses her and wants to emulate the same behaviour that kept her friend thinking on her feet, but she really closely resembles Jonathan, noting others' feelings and privately planning what she may do to keep herself safe.

I don't know that she realizes Arthur is concerned for her. I think she believes he's still anxious for his father's sake, but she can't muster the gaiety needed to cheer him up in the same way Jonathan mustered all that passion for Mina. Because Jonathan is recovering, and Lucy is now suffering a relapse in her health. They both have the same beliefs about telling the truth in marriage, but in practice, it is very difficult for both of them. Jonathan struggles to remember, but he at least has his journal to give to Mina should she wish to know. Lucy only hopes that she can at least get well enough that her pretending will prove more convincing.

She says she'll try to persuade her mother to let her sleep in her bed, but she doesn't seem confident that she will. Mina would let her, but they're no longer on vacation together, are they? Her mother will likely scold her for being childish, but maybe if she provides a good enough excuse...?

She at least has to try.

[mukuberry]

MUKU 💥 do u have any cover song suggestions for a character who has a very stressful job & is overworked?? for a friend :3

FELIX 💥 i can try !!!! First song that comes to mind is (Not) A Devil!

(Not) A Devil: "I'm a part-time prize pupil, having another clandestine rendezvous with myself tonight. I'm drained, oh so drained, but ah, I'm in attentive prayer. But really, i perform poorly"

"The maliciousness of the quote 'its for your own good' salaries exploited by the line 'your dreams will come true' ah, highly addictive things always hide a trap, my soul's been reaped"

The Guide: "I dream, but it blurs with longing and envy, like my vision has somehow dropped to the negatives. It was a life of wanting to try my best."

"I'll punt away my favourite reward as I put on a mask and say "no, no!" insisting on modesty. I hate it. It bothers me. My heart is unfulfilled."

those two are probably the only songs that could be explicitly about work, since deco's speciality is relationships... so for the rest of these songs, we'll just assume the person they're dating and directing their feelings to is their job!

Streaming Heart: "An inner voice brutally warped by this relationship. I will aim for a "love-lost" ending to the story, giving rise to a sense of hatred would be a great success"

"Coming to hate the connection which was made, saying 'youre better off alone'. Anyhow, if there was just another of me over there, well then, surely happiness could be found"

Android Girl: "I'm out of my mind. I know I'm yours and yours alone, but do you even like 'me'? You've just been deceiving me the whole time, the whole time, haven't you?"

"I didn't know whether it was okay to have whatever hopes I wanted. Have the end credits still not rolled across the screen? 'We'll always be together wherever we go' seriously makes me wince."

Hedgehog: "Don't be prickly with me! Each time we touch, I throb. If I prick you, you might hate me. Well, there's no way that will happen! ...Atleast, I think."

"I'm sighing because I'm tired of my heart pounding. How irresponsible. We're stuck in a rut. Y'know, maybe we should try to fit in a break here."

118: "Hey, all the effort we put in, hey, it was all a lie in the end. I'm just struggling, aimlessly struggling, to get through the day with those differences gone."

"If it's a finger to make a pinky promise, then sorry, I don't have any left; I used them all to tie our dreams together. I don't even have enough energy left in me to slap you. And I can't scream for help with your saliva lodged down my throat."

Neo-neon: "e.g. I don't know everything about you. e.g. I can't be your ideal person. Does that suprise you? Didn't you expect that? How should I answer to all of what you want to do?"

"It's all a waste if the end comes, I can't say it even if it kills me. Going in circles, neo-neon, I should have told the truth if it was going to be like this, but I wanted to keep on shining to show that I can lie for you"

Theory Of Negativity: "There's no such thing as freedom in the bounds of my hypothesis. It's not like you'd ever understand, so I'll just keep my mouth shut and make a fool of you. As long as people have secrets to hide, I'm invincible."

"I say 'I'll just die', but am I really even alive in the first place? Even if you get fed up with someone and start treating them poorly, since nothing will change, 'I want to change' is the only wish I want granted."

[mumms-the-word]

In Fathoms Below - Ch. 2

Ch. 2 - The Launch

Characters: Gale, Karlach, Wyll, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Astarion, Halsin, Minthara, Gortash + other OCs; pairing is Gale x fem!Tav Plot: The island city of Nautera disappeared over 4500 years ago, if it ever existed at all. Now not a single, legitimate record of Nautera exists, save for one. The Nauterran Account. Long thought lost, it has recently been retrieved from the depths of Candlekeep’s archives and placed into the capable hands of one Gale Dekarios. With the Nauterran Account in hand and an eclectic team of Baldurians and other allies mounting an official expedition, Gale journeys to find the ruins of Nautera…but hopes to find so much more. A/N: Gale is meeting the team and the submersible is about to launch! For those curious about where a certain pale vampire is, don't worry. He's around here somewhere. Also, have some mood music!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | BG3 Masterlist | Read on AO3

Lord Enver Gortash. It wasn’t a name that Gale immediately recognized, but the man carried himself with an air of confidence and self-importance that was impossible to deny. Whoever he was to the city of Baldur’s Gate, it was someone of significance.

Gortash straightened from his subtle bow to offer Gale another charismatic smile. “I’m in charge of this little expedition, at the behest of Grand Duke Ulder Ravengard himself. It has been a lifelong dream of mine—and his—to locate the fabled Nautera. When we heard that there was an ancient record of the islands and that there might be a man capable of reading and deciphering it—well, it was practically a dream come true. We wasted no time in organizing this expedition to seek out the fabled city. Rest assured, I’ve gathered only the finest to ensure our success. Including you, naturally. You’ve come highly recommended.”

Gale struggled to keep up. Recommended by who, Elminster? And how did this man know about the Account when not even Gale had been certain it still existed until only a few short days ago? And Ravengard—that was a Baldurian name, if he recalled. One of four Grand Dukes that ruled the city. If this was a Baldurian expedition, why had Elminster arranged for him to join? Then again, perhaps he ought not to look a gift submersible in the mouth...

He set those concerns aside for now. “A pleasure to meet you, Lord Gortash.” 

“Likewise.” Gortash snapped his fingers at the drow woman. “Minthara. Gather the others will you? We can have a little debrief before we launch.”

Gale didn’t miss the withering look Minthara shot at the back of Gortash’s head, but she turned and left even so. In the meantime, Gortash gestured toward the githyanki, who was watching them both with a sour expression, her arms still crossed over her chest.

“This is—”

“I am capable of introducing myself, istik,” she said, cutting her eyes briefly at Gortash before settling her gaze back on Gale. She straightened and lifted her chin. “I am Lae’zel of K’liir. No doubt I will be this expedition’s strongest fighter, should the need arise.”

“Lae’zel is here to offer her people’s expertise on Nautera,” Gortash said, appearing unruffled by her interruption. “The libraries of K’liir contained quite a few tir’su slates with accounts of the islands. I’m sure the two of you will have much to discuss as we draw closer to the city.”

“Truly?” Gale couldn’t help but be intrigued. “I confess, I’ve always wanted to learn tir’su. No doubt time in your company will prove valuable to us both.”

“Save your words, istik,” she said, settling back against the table and folding her arms again. “I offer only that which is necessary, be it in words or with blades. I do not chatter.” 

“Ah…duly noted.” 

Gortash chuckled. “Don’t mind her. She’s like that with everyone. Ah, here we have our healers. This is Halsin Silverbough of the Emerald Grove and Shadowheart, a cleric who has offered her services to the cause.”

“You must be the translator we’ve been waiting for,” Halsin said, nodding to him. “Well met.”

“Funny,” Shadowheart said, looking Gale up and down. “I thought you’d be more…”

“More…what?” Gale tilted his head. “Dashing? Roguish? Elegantly dressed?”

She pursed her lips. “More of a peacock, I suppose. Your reputation precedes you.” Her gaze settled briefly on his silver Mystran earring before returning to his face.

“Ah. I dare not ask which reputation you’re referring to, if that’s the case,” he said, laughing somewhat awkwardly. He could just imagine what the others had heard about him by now, especially if Elminster had arranged for him to join up.

But just as she noticed his earring, he couldn’t help but notice the symbol on the circlet she wore over her hair—a round black disk like a new moon. Any follower of Mystra would recognize that symbol. It was the mark of Shar, one of Mystra’s longest and most relentless divine enemies. The two goddesses absolutely hated each other.

Curious that there would be a Sharran cleric on board. But if she was here as a healer, perhaps she intended to do no harm. Or so he hoped. He offered her his most charming smile and a little bow.

“Rest assured, I’m more than happy to offer my services to the expedition. The discovery of Nautera is not something a man simply passes up.”

“That’s the spirit,” Gortash said, flashing him a quick grin. “Ah, and I know you’ve met Karlach.”

“Hello again, Gale,” Karlach said, giving him a little wave. He waved back.

“And this is young Wyll Ravengard, son of Grand Duke Ulder Ravengard.”

“At your service.” The young man bowed gracefully before rising and offering Gale a smile. Gale noticed that one of his eyes had been replaced with a smooth, stone eye and that there were several scars on his face and neck.

For a young son of a grand duke, Wyll didn’t look the part. This man had clearly seen trials the like most could only find in their nightmares. Still, it was curious that he was here. From what little Gale recalled of Baldurian nobility, Ulder Ravengard only had one son, and this expedition was sure to be dangerous at times.

Wyll's presence must be a hint of Ravengard’s confidence in the success of the expedition...or else there was some other, darker reason no one dared to name. Gale hoped it meant the former.

“And finally,” Gortash said, as the drow woman returned to the table, “allow me to introduce our general, Minthara of House Baenre. She has brought with her a retinue of drow scouts and soldiers that will no doubt be invaluable as we explore any Underdark passages along the way.”

“I also serve as the second-in-command for this expedition,” she said, clasping her hands behind her back. “And I suffer no disobedience of any kind. If you will not listen to Lord Gortash, you will listen to me. Is that clear?”

“As crystal,” Gale said, trying to look sincere. He glanced around the group, trying to match faces with names and names with occupations. Gortash, the lord and leader. Minthara, the general. Karlach, the bodyguard. Wyll, the young noble. Halsin, the druid healer. Shadowheart, the cleric. And Lae’zel, the githyanki soldier and tir’su expert.

An ecclectic group if he ever saw one. He couldn’t fathom why half of them cared about finding the ruins of an ancient city. At worst they would find nothing, save perhaps stone blocks and broken pottery, and at best they’d locate ancient writings, perhaps a rare fragment of the legendary mythallar. Gale knew what he wanted out of the trip—answers about Nautera and its relationship with Netheril as well as the pride in knowing he had proven generations of Candlekeep scholars wrong—but he dared not wonder why the rest were interested.

Perhaps it was better that he did not know…for now.

“Now,” Gortash said, clasping his hands together. “There are plenty more important people to meet but you can make those introductions along the way. We had best be off. Gale, you will be sharing a bunk with Halsin and Wyll while aboard the submersible. I trust they can show you the way?” At Wyll and Halsin’s nods, he continued, “Splendid. Everyone, we will meet at the helm in exactly one hour. If you’re not inside the submersible, you’ll be left behind. And, Gale…” 

Gale paused just as he was turning away to follow Wyll and Halsin down toward the submersible. He faced Gortash again, finding himself caught beneath the Baldurian lord’s dark, unreadable gaze. Gortash’s smile, however, was as charming and practiced as ever.

“Bring your little book. We’ll have need of it.”

-----

The interior of the submersible was nearly all metal. Metal sheets, metal pipes, metal grates, metal bolts. If it wasn’t metal, it was thick glass that peered out into the blue depths beyond. While not entirely unwelcoming, it was certainly different from the creature comforts Gale was used to in his Waterdhavian wizard’s tower.

The bunks, at least, looked passably comfortable, though Gale was a bit disappointed that there was no chance of a private room. Still, Wyll and Halsin seemed sensible, even friendly company.

“How does a young noble and a druid come to join an expedition like this?” he asked them as he dropped his pack onto the only available bed in the room. It was little more than a narrow padded mattress with a thin pillow and a blanket folded at one end, but it was his now.

Wyll, leaning against a ladder-like set of rungs that led to a bunk over Gale’s, gave a light shrug. “It’s a legendary city at the bottom of the sea, like a fairy story of old. What's not to enjoy? I wanted to see it for myself and my father was only too happy to negotiate a place for me...so here I am.”

Gale noticed a shift in Wyll’s voice at his last sentence, but couldn’t quite discern the meaning or emotion. Wyll’s pleasant expression and soft smile were polite, but impenetrable. If there was more to his tale than he was letting on, there was no way for Gale to know it.

“I take it you’re interested in the legends and the history of Nautera, then?” Gale asked.

“Only what I don’t already know. I’ve heard the stories, of course.” Wyll began to gesture with his hands, as if painting the scene. “A fabled city on a distant island, home to a thousand wonders of every kind. Flying ships, walking stone creatures, marvels and magic and more. Only for it to disappear over the span of a single day. One day it’s there, another island in the vast sea, and the next—” he snapped his fingers, “—gone. Not even a rock jutting up from the water to suggest it was ever there.” 

He smiled and dropped his hands, shrugging. “They say the person who finds Nautera will be granted one wish, whatever their heart desires. But I’m not so sure that’s true.”

“Perhaps not, but there are always elements of truth even in the midst of a fairy story or a legend,” Gale said. “Perhaps wishes were granted there, back when it was above water.” 

He turned to Halsin, who was seated on the bunk opposite, his wooden staff resting on his knees. “What of you? I’m surprised to see a druid of the forests showing an interest in an underwater city.”

Halsin smiled faintly. “It is odd, and this…submersible is unnatural to me. But I was told there was a need for a healer, and I have been many strange places in my modest life. To see the ruins of a civilization that predates my own people…such marvels are not to be ignored, I think. I am here to be of service and to satisfy my own curiosity.”

“Then our interests align. Though I hope we will not need to rely on your services too much, Master Halsin.”

“Just Halsin, please,” the old druid said, chuckling. “And I agree. Though if the need arises, I can be useful in other ways.”

Before he could explain further, there was a sharp knock just outside the bunk room. A young man in uniform leaned in through the open doorway. “Saers, you’re wanted at the helm. We’re to launch in a few minutes.”

“We’ll be right there,” Wyll responded, and the young man disappeared. Wyll took a deep breath and turned to smile at Gale and Halsin. “We’d best be off. I hear the best place to witness a submersible launch is at the front.”

He and Halsin ducked out of the room, the tall elf literally hunching to make it through the rounded, low doorframe. Gale made sure to retrieve the Nauterran Account and tuck it carefully into his satchel, alongside his spellbook and a few other supplies, before following them out of the bunk room. 

The helm featured an impressive array of controls, dials, levers, and gauges, all manned by various pilots, including one surly-looking blonde dwarf at the very front. Overhead, bolted sheets of metal made up part of the sloping, dome-like ceiling before transitioning to curving panels of thick, reinforced glass between metal bars, giving them a clear view of everything immediately ahead and above them, and a fair view of the sides too. At the center of the room, a large, curving, mahogany desk and a surprisingly plush chair took up much of the space, looking elegant yet out of place, as if they had been teleported in from someone’s office back in the city. Someone had laid out several maps and navigation tools on the surface. The chair was unoccupied at the moment, but Gortash stood just to the side of it, hands clasped behind his back, watching the pilots work. 

A few paces away, Karlach shifted restlessly on her feet, tapping her fingers against her thigh and turning her head this way and that, as if trying to catch all the action going around her. Minthara, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart stood nearby, with Lae’zel and Shadowheart eyeing each other darkly and Minthara ignoring both of them to stare over the head of a gnome pilot messing with specific controls.

Gortash glanced over his shoulder and noticed the three of them entering. “Ah, good. You’re here, just in time to watch the magic happen. So to speak,” he added, sending a grin Gale’s way. 

Before Gale could respond, Gortash turned away and directed his next words to the blonde dwarf at the front of the room, where a big metal ship’s wheel was waiting. “Redhammer, begin the launch and take us out to the open sea.”

“Aye, saer.” The dwarf pulled one of the levers and took the wheel. “Commencing launch.”

All around the room, various pilots began to flip switches, pull levers, and turn wheels, calling out responses or numbers that Gale could make no sense of and watching various screens and gauges as they worked. He felt the floor beneath him shudder as distant engines roared to life, the dull rumble and vibrations reaching them even there in the helm. The excitement in the room was palpable. Gale’s heart began to pound and his blood began to race through his veins, all in anticipation of the launch. 

All at once the entire submersible gave a downward lurch, as if being dropped or let go, and a flurry of bubbles billowed up against the glass. Gale moved to a free space near one of the windows, out of the way of the pilots, watching as more curtains of bubbles bounced and twirled upward as the seacraft began to lower gently away from the docks. He felt his ears pop as they sank lower and lower and began to turn away toward the deeper blue of the ocean depths.

No turning back now.

“Watch those power gauges, boys,” Redhammer said, directing his fellow pilots. “Steady now. Increase engines one and three and bring them to thirty percent.”

The rumble from the engines louder grew until it was a sonorous thrum in the background, the vibrations beneath Gale’s boots now a constant drone. Outside the submersible, the massive metal fins on either side came to life, frightening and scattering several fish that had ventured too close. He felt the seacraft tilt and adjust before it fell into a steady, subtle rocking pattern, like that of an undulating whale, as it began to move forward. It wasn’t unlike the rocking of a ship on the sea, though perhaps more regulated. 

As they moved away from the docks and out toward the open expanse of the ocean depths, they cut through fronds of thick, towering kelp, sending fish and other creatures fleeing through the waving undersea plants. It was surreal to watch the underwater world pass by them through the windows of the submersible, almost as if he were seeing merely illusion rather than reality.

“Whoa…” He turned to see that Karlach had joined him at a nearby window, staring out of it in wide-eyed wonder. Her glowing eyes were even more alight as she took in the waving plants, the fish, and the bubbles as they moved through the water. “We’re really doing this…”

Her wonder bolstered his own and he offered her a somewhat crooked smile. “Nervous?”

She glanced sidelong at him and laughed. “Too late for that now, soldier. Besides, Gortash doesn’t pay me to be nervous.”

Redhammer’s voice called out again. “All engines to forty-five percent. Take us down ten degrees down-angle and hold us steady.”

Working in tandem, the pilots pivoted the seacraft and maneuvered it downward, increasing the speed until they were moving along at a noticeable clip. The kelp forest quickly gave way to rocky reefs with sparse coral and from there to gray, silty sand that disappeared into darkness the farther they descended. The sunlight overhead grew fainter and fainter until at last they were enveloped by inky blue and cobalt, the waters ahead illuminated only by the brilliant enchanted lights that shone outward from the front of the submersible. 

Beyond the reach of the seacraft’s lights, the depths below beckoned, looking like a vast, empty void of velvet black. Gale held tighter to his satchel, his eyes on the dark waters ahead. He was loathe to pray to any goddess other than Mystra—and even she hadn’t been listening to his prayers lately—but he was tempted to offer a meek prayer to Umberlee, the chaotic goddess of the seas. They were in her territory, after all...

And at the mercy of her infamously temperamental whims. The darkness of the depths was a tangible reminder of their tentative place in her domain, because, as any Waterdhavian knew, the Bitch Queen was more than capable of summoning a creature from the depths to sink a ship.

A massive submersible diving into her depths would only be that much more annoying to her, and that much more susceptible to destruction. Gale could only hope her attention was diverted elsewhere.

[princesscolumbia]

Ranma 1/2 Thoughts - Remake? Edition

So there's a rumor flying in the R.5 community that the anime is getting a remake. Which, you know, if it's true could be good or bad and we won't know for sure until we actually observe the thing and collapse the waveform.

If they do remake the series, I hope they keep the problematic bits, because even with those problematic bits there's a message so powerful that blows right past them to reach new audiences all the time! Back around 2010 I was convinced that R.5 had lost it's place in the cultural lexicon due to the march of history. Not that it would ever be considered a mistake or an outlier artifact, but that it was a product of its time and the world had moved on.

It's quite clear that we, as a culture, haven't moved on, though. There's still abusive fathers, there's still mothers who communicate their desires for their children for absolute shit, there's still compulsory heteronormativity, there's still toxic masculinity, there's still people who will exploit others, there's still the kind of men that require the #MeToo movement, there's still horrible men in positions of power who can grant you your dreams or kill them if you don't submit to their sexual abuses, and there's still a need to point out that sex is not gender.

What I would like to see are consequences to all this. I want to see Genma being pursued by the Japanese equivalent to CPS and being appropriately shunned by the community. I want to see Soun's life being negatively impacted because he's letting a known abuser live with him. I want to see Nodoka's fears and anxieties over worrying she's too late to be a part of her child's life. I want to see a literally genderfluid and/or transgirl Ranma struggle in a non-comedic way over whether or not they're "manly" enough. I want to see Akane coming to terms with the fact that she is bisexual/lesbian and she's internalized comp-het and been taking it out on everyone else around her. I want to see Ukyo struggling with CPTSD over being kicked out of her home at a super young age and have to become a business owner and be a gender she wasn't born with and how that affects her life going forward. I want the reason for the Kuno sibling's rift to be over Tatewaki's stubborn refusal to stop violating girls. I want to see Happosai's mere existence as the chilling effect that it is and the reason only the teen girls and young adults are trying to stop him is because the older generations of women have had the fight (literally in some cases) beaten out of them.

Keep the difficult stuff, keep the problematic stuff, but show the reasons why it's difficult and problematic.

[rauvlyna]

Kim Jiwoong

yellow sweater and deep conversations

pairing: ZB1 Jiwoong x gn!reader

theme: slight angst, fluff (very domestic)

warnings: mentions of religion, idol struggle, kinda sad in general

word count: 1.6k

a/n: This is just kinda a domestic fluff oneshot and goes nowhere

"Oh don't act all innocent. Before we got together, all you did was flirt with me so I thought you were like that with everyone else. Turns out, you actually liked me and weren't just playing with my feelings." You chuckled at the memory.

Jiwoong shook his head and sighed. "I always had a thing for you, you know? I know we were just close friends before, but I always thought you were cute." He looked away, blushing at the things he was saying.

"I'm glad I'm the only person that gets to be this close with you." He smiled warmly as you hugged his waist. He liked the fact that you were caressing his sweater covered back. "You are all mine." He told you in a cheeky tone. "Not everyone can say they have you as a lover."

"And not everyone gets a Kim Jiwoong all to themself, and absolutely smitten - aka simping - over them. So I feel very VERY lucky."

more under the cut!

His eyes lit up as soon as you mentioned his full name. He leaned forward to kiss your cheek and smiled at you once again. "Maybe you should start simping for me more. I feel like I'm constantly simping for you, and it's good because you definitely deserve it." He smirked as he looked up at you. "I just feel like... well you interact with a lot of other people in your school so.. I don't, I feel weirdly jealous even though I know I shouldn't. Also, you've been really busy lately so we don't get to spend a lot of time together."

"I understand, I'm really sorry about that. There's no need to try and invalidate what you're feeling, it's good that you're telling me this."

"You can feel jealous, it's okay but I want you to remember that you're just.. I never imagined I would ever be with someone like you. People see your looks and think that that's all there is to you, but you're extremely talented. I mean, you're a dancer, a singer, an actor, a YouTuber, and a part-time comedian for me." you say, adding the part-time comedian jokingly.

"Yes, you are indeed not bad looking, but your personality is honestly the biggest contributor to why I fell for you. No one can top that, at least not in my books." You say all this as both of your hands hold his face, your eyes boring into each other's.

After hearing your words, his face lit up and smiled sweetly at you. "You don't know how happy that makes me, love. Honestly, when I'm with you, I forget all the things I do for work and fame. You're right, the first thing that people see when they look at me is just a celebrity. But I like to think that you don't see me like that. I hope you just see me as... Jiwoong. Your adorable, kind, and very beautiful boyfriend." He laughed once again.

"You really had to emphasize the beautiful part, didn't you?", you tease him. "But it's not like it's a lie, so I'll let it pass."

"Hmm.. to me.. you're just my dorky boyfriend who happens to be a celebrity, too." you brush off his hair away from his forehead and admire him, "I know I don't say this enough, but I'm really proud of you. You went through hell and back to get where you are now. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to be a part of shitty companies. Right now, I'm just thankful you're in a much better company. I wish you nothing but happiness and success."

He looked into your eyes after listening to your words. A warm smile appeared on his face as if he felt touched by your words. "I'm glad that I left those awful companies and finally found my place. I'm thankful that my dreams have come true thanks to your support. I'm also glad I'm still able to keep up with dancing and singing after all these years." He put his free hand on you cheek. "And I'm proud of you too."

You put your hand over his, "I'm serious.. Every time I think about what you've been through in the entertainment industry, my heart breaks a little. I know it's useless, but I can't help but wonder how things would be like if you had a good company in the first place. I have so many what ifs, but the one that stands out is - What if you became a successful K-pop singer in your first try?"

"I guess I would've been a lot more successful in life if I got into a good entertainment company right from the start." He shook his head at the thought.

"But, there's really nothing that we can do now, so might as well just keep on looking at the positive side. Those experiences in those awful companies made me the person that I am right now. Maybe that's how it was supposed to be." He shrugged his shoulders.

"You think about it too much, babe," is what he says before leaning forward to kiss your forehead.

You let out a sigh, "Sorry.. I can't help it. It just makes me wonder how you're still so optimistic and such a wonderful person despite everything. It reminds me of that one saying about how God supposedly gives the hardest battles to his strongest soldiers." I chuckle a little. "Neither of us is religious, but somehow it's very fitting."

He smiled when you spoke, trying to be understanding. But he also laughed. "No, no, you don't need to apologize." He leaned in to gently place a soft kiss on your lips. "You're so poetic sometimes, love. But if you're wondering seriously, then I guess it's because I've learned to be optimistic because I don't want to waste my time on being sad about things that I can't change." He placed his free hand on your cheek and caressed it once more. "Instead of being sad and having regrets, I can use that time to make more memories with you."

He started to think about the whole religion and battle thing you just said. He stayed quiet for a moment as he sat there silently. "You know, what you said reminded me of something too." He started to talk quietly once more.

You turned to him curiously, sliding off his lap and opting to sit beside him instead. "What does it remind you of?"

"Hmm... my friend once told me something back then. It's similar to what you said. He said to me, it's all about choices." He looked at you and put his free arm around you, bringing you closer to him.

"He told me this when I was in a bad place, and he was right. He said that we are all given certain circumstances in life and the choices we make lays a path for us to walk on, although we can never be sure where it'll ultimately take us, it's our hopes and intentions that keeps us away from straying from that path."

Smiling up at him, you nod. "Your friend seems like a great person. It was nice of them to say that. And yeah, that seems right. I'm glad that you had great people around you during those times."

He nodded in response. "Yeah... it was all thanks to him. He was the reason I got out of that bad place and turned my life around." He chuckled a little as he thought about the past. "And I'm so lucky to have you around, right now. You are always there for me, and you make me a better person."

"What about you? Did you ever have anyone like that in your life? Someone who helped you out during a bad time." He tilted his head as he waited for your response.

You hummed as you think of your past. "I'm not sure."

Clearing your throat, you continued, "Back then, I wasn't good at opening myself up to people even if I considered them as my friends. " You take a small pause, trying to remember at least one memory. "Oh! I remember that one friend I had during high school. I didn't exactly tell them about my situation, but I told them about what I felt.. It lifted a heavy weight off my chest, but I also felt bad after because I thought I was being an inconvenience."

He was quiet as you spoke, paying close attention to you.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe that's why you're so good at picking up on other people's emotions right now." He thought out loud.

He continued caressing your waist, and you could feel his soft fingertips on your sweater. "I think you should try to reconnect with that person sometime if you get the chance." He smiled at you. "I'm sure they'll be glad to hear from you again." He said while playing with your hair.

"She lives overseas now, so we don't get to see each other. After graduation, we didn't get to keep contact either. I still like some of her posts on instagram from time to time. She does the same, too."

Yoy sighed and snuggled closer to him. It may be because you're tired, but for some reason, he thought that you were more touchy today.

As you snuggled a little closer to him, he smiled and placed a gentle kiss on your head. "I still think you should message her someday. Catch up for old times sake, you know?"

You nodded at his statement. "Maybe I will."

"Also, you're more touchy today? I like that. You can be as touchy as you want, you know." He joked once more.

After hearing his joking response, you softly smack his chest. "I don't even know why I'm like this. Either I'm just extra tired, or because it's been really cold lately which makes me... I don't even know."

a/n: If you got to this point, thank you so much for reading!! I really appreciate it. Also, this was difficult to edit (pretty sure there's still some errors), and I might have some grammar lapses, too. Wrote this a few weeks ago, and since it hasn't been long since Jiwoong's birthday, this can be a bday post, too. Thanks again!! mwahh

[neerons]

Hi! I'd like to know your opinion on one of my expectations for Kazuomi's next season. I have a question for you too ☺️

**Spoilers alert : I talk a little about Kei and Yuzu's past stories**

In the near future, Kazuomi will definitely reveal his true self to the MC, but I also want her to have some deductions about the truth he's hiding (his past and his real feelings). The MC has a really good intuition, and she likes to investigate. So I don't want her to only wait for him to share his feelings and do nothing. I want her to show Kazuomi and let him know that he can actually talk to her and be vulnerable around her. Because she will always be by his side and love him no matter what. Kazuomi has always been here when the MC was feeling down and lost. This time, it's Kazuomi who needs help, even though he thinks otherwise.

I want to see more sweet moments between these two lovers. More importantly, I don't want Kazuomi to still feel lonely and to not feel understood. It means the world to him that the MC respects his boundaries and understands him like no one else did. Therefore, I hope the MC won't be too passive in the next stories and that she will try to find the truth by herself, to help and truly understand Kazuomi. You know, similar to Kei and Yuzu's stories. I'm aware that Kazuomi has a different writer, but I want his story to be as well-written as Kei and Yuzu's stories. In fact, Kazuomi is a complex character who needs good development.

When it comes to the past, he is, among the 3S, the one who keeps chasing his past. **Spoilers : We know that Kei unconsciously erased his past in order to protect himself from his trauma. For Yuzu, he chose to abandon his little brother in order to have a better future, and he doesn't regret his choice. However, he feels guilty as he still cares for his brother.**

On the other hand, Kazuomi claims to not care about the past and says that the present is more important to him. We now know it's not the case. He wants to forget his past and so, he tries to be someone who lives in the present, but it's only a mask. Like I said in a previous comment, his past still haunts him today and he can't deny it. (I don't know if you read Jujutsu Kaisen, but Kazuomi's issue with his past kind of reminds me of Gojo Satoru's story)

Furthermore, if we analyse Kazuomi's character, we can see that most of the things he does are related to his past. For example, his dream to open a resort, the meaning of Christmas for him, his love for games and gambling (in addition to the anticipation and the mental thrill of not knowing the outcome because of all the different possibilities), his love for sweets and desserts, his feeling of loneliness and his struggle to really trust others (sometimes he can be emotionally detached), etc. That's why his upcoming stories must be well-written because Kazuomi is the character who needs to confront his past the most. I know you'll post a detailed analysis of the characters from MK, so I can't wait to read it!

Of course, all of the things I've written will happen depending on the plot for his upcoming season. Someone of Kazuomi's past life will most likely appear too (similar to Kei and Yuzu's stories). Who do you think it could be, and why?

I'm sorry I wrote a lot haha. Thanks for reading until the end! ❤️

Heya 🥰

Kazuomi's Cryptic Past

As of now, we can only interpret how things will go since we don't know what happened to him other than his family basically betrayed him. He lost everything. He felt lonely and not loved. He became homeless. He hates his father more than anyone, too, it seems.

I totally agree that Kazuomi needs to rely on others, especially MC, about his past. We should be able to see that soon once his next season is released.

Maybe the MC will have her own deductions from his past and play an active role in discovering it for herself, or maybe she'll actually decide to keep those deductions to herself and let Kazuomi reveal it to her, out of consideration and love for him.

When it comes to Kazuomi, he knows that MC is there for him. He's already aware of that, deep down. As you said, he also appreciates that she doesn't push him for answers and revelations about his past.

In his mind, he already sees her as the woman of his life. The only one who could understand him that well, and not press him for answers. She's irreplaceable to him.

But Kazuomi is also someone who has been betrayed before. Especially by his father, and by women, especially his "mother". The story with his "mother" was vague but it seemed to have had a huge impact on him, and I don't know exactly what she did, but it's clear he was incredibly hurt by this woman. In the end, he didn't feel truly loved by her.

So it makes sense that he might not completely feel ready to be weak in front of someone again, even if it's the love of his life. He doesn't want to be weak in front of her and have her pity him, even if she's not like that.

Due to that, I assume, he often tests MC along his seasons to see how much of him she is willing to accept, and she always accepts him and loves him more, which in turn makes him love her even more, and it shows us how far their love can go (it's infinite, I'm telling you 🥰)

So this next step is, I think, going to be Kazuomi finally revealing his past in his next big MS and see how MC will react to the "real Kazuomi" and if she's still going to love him.

It's possible that the real Kazuomi is, at least according to him, pathetic, naive and weak. Or maybe it's a side of him more cruel than what he has shown her before.

Deep down, I think he's scared of what she'll think of him, and he hopes she'll accept him despite his many flaws. But he's also convinced "forever" doesn't exist, and that even their relationship might be a fleeting one.

He is currently in a philosophical conflict. He wants her by his side, wants her to know everything, but at what cost? Will she eventually leave once she knows? Will Kazuomi risk losing his life in a new gamble, and he'll have to say farewell to her?

I expect the MC to once again show him she loves him just as he is, because he is him, the man she loves, which will probably surprise and touch Kazuomi's heart way more than anyone ever could. And he'll realize and have the confirmation that he doesn't need anything but her.

MC's Personality & Love for Kazuomi

As for her, she is aware that he doesn't want to talk about his past, and she saw it when he became surprisingly silent when he was affected by memories of his past in the R&C event.

Despite her agent side, curiosity and love for investigation, we often overlook that the MC is a woman respectful enough to not poke her nose where she feels it doesn't belong.

She loves Kazuomi so much and is worried about him, rightfully so, but she doesn't want to cross a boundary without permission or consideration. She'd love for him to tell her about it someday, but she's waiting for him to be ready.

Him opening up on his own to her without her asking wouldn't be such a bad thing to me to be honest. I sure hope she plays a role in his story, and she will as always, but I think Kazuomi revealing his past to her would be a great depiction of his trust and love towards her.

Trust me, I love MC being badass and doing her job amazingly well and going beyond expectations. And if she does have a mission or a situation where she has to uncover his past in full detail, I hope it'll be done well too in a beautifully written story again.

The problem is: if she decides to uncover his past herself, how will he take it?

He treats his past like a highly confidential mission. It's possible that, if she gets involved into it too deeply in the end, they'll have to become foes again. And then Kazuomi will ultimately realize he wants her to know and won't stop her from knowing.

Or, if his past becomes dangerous for her, he'll feel guilty because she's now in danger because of him. We can't really know how things will turn out since we have no clues about what even happened to him before.

Possible outcomes in the next season?

I actually can see his next season going two different ways (at least):

She discovers the truth about his past through a mission (and the client could even be the antagonist). She'll have to put her feelings aside and fulfill her mission while having mixed feelings about discovering something he wanted to hide to the world and especially to her. Kazuomi might become distant as he decides to face his past alone and puts himself in danger against the antagonist, which will fuel the MC to save him

Another situation would be him opening up to her once the drama of his past (lui pète à la gueule 🤣) happens and he has to face his past forcefully because the antagonist either shamelessly reveals his past publicly, or in front of MC, or he'd just put Kazu and MC in a situation where they have to talk about it. And then, MC, and maybe even Yuzu, Kei, and others? would decide to help him out against said antagonist

No matter how it goes, I'm sure it'll be well written. I have never been disappointed honestly. I always see the reasoning behind the characters' actions which is probably why I'm never mad or sad about developments?

At least in MK, I've never been bothered by how a season has been written (except the case about the way the Boss' last season was treated, which is more of an exception, since Voltage discontinued him abruptly and left him with plot holes and left me with my HEART BROKEN GAHH)

Kazuomi's manufactured personality

It's funny that you mention Jujutsu Kaisen and especially Gojo Satoru when you talk about Kazuomi, because JJK became one of my favorite animes and mangas, and Gojo has a special place in my heart. I have started reading the manga so nobody spoils me!!

I can see the similarity between Gojo and Kazu. Their bubbly, quirky and charismatic personality hides the scars they try to run away from. It's also a distraction for them (and it helps them distract others from their vulnerability, too)

It makes them overcome their sadness, loneliness and anger as well since putting on a different mask enables you to put distance between your present self and your past self.

Like you said, It's clear that Kazuomi chases his past. He's the one character from MK who's really secretive about what happened to him, even more than Kei who runs away from a past full of trauma, more than Yuzu who fights against his emotions, and more than the Boss who is KNOWN for not being straightforward and having his emotions be "inactive", if that makes sense.

And I'm so curious and also scared to know what he's really like. Because I love the way he is now personality-wise, but I hope I'll love him even more once his mask falls for good. I also hope he'll still be his witty and fun self, but I'm sure his story will be amazing.

Who's the antagonist?

When it comes to who they'll be up against next time, considering the revelations from the Revenge & Challenge event, the only people I assume could make an appearance are Kazuomi's father, or maybe his "mother".

I don't know if they'd be the potential antagonists. It's possible that they were more victims to Kazuomi's father's dangerous relationships and got screwed. But Kazuomi resents his father a lot. I can't know how bad his father is, but he's not the purest person on Earth. It could be him.

In the Japanese app, we're also getting another event about the guys' pasts currently, so it's not unlikely that his parents will be making an appearance if they're still alive.

If it's not the parents, it's likely someone who knows about his parents, and past (and is linked to it) that we don't know about yet. Like Nate from Kei's Eden's Love story, who is an antagonist we couldn't have predicted. It could be one of the guys his father had secret meetings with. They were bad, and probably belonged to a sort of mafia (I forgot and I'm too lazy to check again I'll admit)

Conclusion (...am I writing an essay again? 🤣)

No matter how the season happens, the important thing, to me, is that Kazuomi finally learns to believe in "forever" and stabilizes himself with MC in the end. I hope he'll be able to live freely with her and that he can move on after all these years of suffering.

We should all forget our expectations for his route and just enjoy the ride when the time comes, though. In my humble opinion, we shouldn't wish for too many things, because that'd just make us closer to the end of his route, and it makes room for disappointment if something doesn't happen the way we wanted it to.

We have one of the best titles Voltage has made, and one of the best LIs, the elite among the elites, so let's appreciate the hard work behind it and see what the next season has to offer again. Personally, I know I'll love it 💖

(And thank you for your enthusiasm about the characters' analyses! They'll be separated into different posts for each character, and Yuzu will be the first to be out when the time comes I think. But I'm re reading every MS to do a good job, as well as reading Ikémen Prince and making art most of the time, so it's taking time haha)

Thank you for the ask!

[artofhazbinhotel]

Guitarspear playlist because the last ship playlist was well received

The Last of The Real Ones (Fallout Boy)

You are the sun

And I am just the planets spinning around you

You were too good to be true, gold plated

But what's inside you? But what's inside you?

I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you

But not as much as I do, as much as I do

Church (Fallout Boy)

If you were church I'd get on my knees

Confess my love, I'd know where to be

My sanctuary, you're holy to me

If you were church I'd get on my kness

I'd get on my knees, I'd get on my knees

Heaven's Gate (Fallout Boy)

One look from you and I'm on that faded love

Out of my body and flying above

If there were anymore left of me I'd give it to you

And I'll tell you that I am fine

But I'm a missile that's guided to you

Go out in the world to start over again and again

As many times as you can

And in the end if I don't make it on the list

Would you sneak me a wristband?

Would you give me a boost over heaven's gates?

Heaven Sent (Hinder)

Never saw the chemistry

That was there with you and me

It's been a long time coming

Just waiting on an angel to take me out of my hell

I'm falling for you, you came out of nowhere

Straight out the blue when heaven sent you

Take Me to Church (Hozier)

Take me to church,

I worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good God, let me give you my life

If I'm a pagan of the good times

My lover's the sunlight

Keep the God on my side, he demands a sacrifice

Drain the whole sea, get something shiny

Francesca (Hozier)

My life was a storm, how could I fear any hurricane?

If someone asked me at the end,

I'd tell them put me back in, I would do it again

If I could hold you for a minute

I'd go through it again

I would still be surprised I could find you

I could find you in any life

If I could hold you for a minute

They're Only Human (Death Note)

They're only human, they don't see

Who they are is who they'll always be

Only human after all

So they push and they shove

With this thing they call love til they fall

Isn't it a farce? Isn't it a waste?

Struggling to face what can never be faced

Fan Behavior (Isaac Dunbar)

I guess I got myself a fan

It's fan behavior, you're a fan

As a result of my cold demeanor

You're pressed, a little bit obsessed

I take you for a fan, you take me as I am

I wonder what's going through your head

I know that you're a mess but secretly impressed

No Forgiveness (Shinki, Red Rob)

Sinners seeking validation,

You're the one who fell to temptation

Now we're caught up in altercations

Purge them all there's no salvation

Fall from grace, been led astray

Lost little lamb, you'll die today

When you fall the price you pay

Is no forgiveness when you pray

You wanna change your team and climb?

I'd much rather hear your screams and cries

Dreaming of seeing those pearly gates

Well, your nightmare arrives today

I'm the man that started it all

The only one who'll heed the call

To stir up sinners in the pot

Don't you know you had your shot?

You wanna get up to heaven?

This is no seven eleven

Think you can change well baby that's sad

Be Somebody (Thousand Foot Krutch)

I'm just a speck inside your head

I remember where it all began so clearly

I feel a million miles away,

Still you connect me in your way

And you created me

Something I would've never seen

When I could only see the floor

You made my window a door

So when they say they don't believe

I hope that they see you and me

After all the lights go down

I'm just the words, you are the sound

A strange type of chemistry

You've become a part of me

Without You (My Darkest Days)

If I had my way, I'd spend every day

Right by your side

And if I could stop time believe me I'd try

For you and I

And each moment you're gone

Is a moment too long in my life

So stay right here by my side right now

Because without you I'm a disaster

Thought you should know

And you're my ever after

Angel (Theory of a Deadman)

I'm in love with an angel, heaven forbid

Make me a believer with the touch of his skin

I'd go to hell and back

With you still lost in what we found

Worlds apart we were the same

Until we hit the ground

Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm weak

Maybe I'm blinded by what I see

You wanted a soldier, it wasn't me

Angel With a Shotgun (The Cab)

Get out your guns, battles begun

Are you a saint or a sinner?

If love's a fight then I shall die

With my heart on a trigger

They say before you start a war

You better know what you're fighting for

Well baby you are all that I adore

If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

Worship you (Kane Brown)

Don't get me wrong, I'm a god fearing christian man

But if you were a religion then damn

I don't know what I'd do

Yeah, I might have to worship you

I might have to sing your praise

I might have to go to church yeah

Every single night and day

Love religious metaphors songs

[neewtmas]

24 days of Appreciation

DAY 2

Welcome to the second day of appreciation this month, where we shine a spotlight each day on those we appreciate in this fandom!

If you want to submit someone or something (for more info read here), you can do so here or just message me! If you wanna stay anonymous, either tell me or submit on anon.

Appreciation from me:

Today, I wanna appreciate @waitingforthesunrise, who might just be the absolut sweetest person in this entire fandom (case in point: the ask you sent me asking to submit me🥹). Your positivity is unmatched, and your presence is light and warmth, the sunrise personified basically. You were so very nice to me when I joined this fandom and made me feel welcome even though I really struggle to build friendships, online just as much as irl. I always read your poetry, even though poetry is not really my thing, but I admire you so much for being able to write it so beautifully. The poem you wrote for me some months ago? That still hangs on my picture wall. Also, remember the one time you made fanart for my locklyle fic??? Literal best thing ever. And now I always think of you when I see a pretty sunrise/sunset. ILY🧡🧡

Appreciation from others (submissions):

from @novelizt: Hi, I'm Liz! Since this season is all about sharing, I'd like to share my appreciation for a few people that made this fandom feel like family to me. I'm not really sure if there's a limit to how many people I can mention, but the list is long so I'll stick to my ride or dies First of all, @tangledinlove who made me fall in love with Anthony Lockwood. Your kindness basically cemented my place in this crazy family. You're the loveliest, and I always round back to reading your fics when I need a pick-me-up. Your words are forever tattooed into my brain. On top of that, you are one of my favorite persons I've met on this app, and I hope you know how much I appreciate you. Next, @kiyasoup and @avdioblisss who I basically share braincells with. Any notif from y'all means my day will be good. I don't know what else to say other than I love you and I hope all your dream come true 💙 Also, @mitskiswift99 who always makes me blush and sob and shriek. If I had the power to teleport and hug you, I would! My Swiftie soulmate, I love you dearly 💙 Last, but definitely not least, the feeders of my delusions, @lewkwoodnco @bella-rose29 @ukulelevillainwrites and @atlabeth !! I used to read your fics and think "damn, they're so cool" and now we're moots jsnhs Some days, I still feel like I'm dreaming. Your fics are my fuel for life. Please keep doing what you're doing. 70 years from now, I'll still be reblogging your works 💙 Yeesh, I really don't know how to keep things short. I just have a lot of love for this fandom, and I hope everyone enjoys their holidays. Lots of love &lt;3

Show your appreciation and submit someone or something here :)

[frimoussette88]

Alors j'espère qu'un jour je pourrais faire l'amour À une personne sincère qui n'me jouera pas d'tour J'en ai vraiment assez de donner sans retour J'suis saoulé d'm'aimer, moi sans l'âme-sœur, c'est lourd Mais sachez tout de même que sur scène, grâce à vous J'ai l'impression d'être loin de ce monde de fous Car j'écris quand j'me plante Et je ris quand je danse Et je vis quand je chante Et, pour tout ça, j'te dis merci

Mr/Mme - Loïc Nottet (x)

(approximative translation of the song under the cut)

Mr/Ms

Good evening, Sir, Madam, today, I'll tell you everyting I prefer to address you familiarly 'cause I don't like formalities I find that they age people and I want to stay young A kid for life, without tissues nor screams So, here we go, I'll tell you everyting about the drama that I'm living Every day in hell, this is where I stand I'd like to go away, escape far away from everything From this crazy world, to go I don't know where

This world strangles me, crushes me and burns me Destroys me, prevents me from living in my bubble So I would like to leave, far from everything, just flee Let me run far away, leaving this world to be banished If God says suicide is a sin, then Let him tell me how to go without hurting him Let him turn me into what doctors call "insane" And, then, maybe I'll see clear in this fog

So, dear Mr G, help me, love me 'Cause I can't make it in this world that I see In this world of struggle where men are just brutes Where love is nothing more than quarells and disputes

I'd like to write a world for myself, a planet just for me A planet on which I would feel like myself A chainless renewal, free from hatred A planeton which you'd give me wings A new universe where tears and sorrows Would only be myths, just a fucking urban legend So let me go away Tell me how to run away Enough questions asked, just let me be, I want to leave it all

The only thing that I like in your creation of Man Is that he can dream every night, just like kids Wether we're old, young, naughthy, nice or even ugly We have the right to dream even with nothing in our pockets As a beggar, I implore the evening, I beg for hope But the night is stingy, Madam keeps her morphine Because I didn't pay or, at least, not enough Born of parents without wealth, she denies me the moon Since, of course, in this world we can't live without these numbers Which your children have turned into evil monsters Every month, you earn some Every day, you loose some The bill is steep, I'm giving it back and leaving hell

It's true, I may be admitting I'm defeated, I admit it, I own up to it Life's eating me up with a nasty taste of bitterness So hear me scream, pour all of my guts out In this song that recounts the life of pessimist idiot I feel fucking lonely No one to hold my hand No one to share this fucking glory with I walk alone on this hopeless path I speed up but no one is waiting for me at the end

So, every night I drink, I get shit-faced To forget that, in the end, succes gets you lonely Few friends, no life, I'm trapped with no air Lots of ennemies, no more nights out, God I need a guide Some morons will say that I'm exagerating, that I'm making a fuss But fuck those assholes 'cause I'm young and I'm struggling In my head, it's chaos Who turned the light off? Mom I can't see clear anymore, I need some enlightenment

First comes happiness when you feed your heart With true love that soothes your pains You forget your misfortune but, in the end, it's just a decoy In this jerks' generation, filled with liars Once your heart is broken, no need to summon it Loneliness barges in, it comes fast to find you It doesn't wait for you to open the door. No! It comes in without knocking Your blues are a snack for it to gobble up

So, who are you? Deep down, do you know? 'Cause I don't know who I am anymore, I'm lost My ambition is great, hard to satisfy My happiness holds a bitter flavor So, Sir, Madam, I admit it, I'm miserable And yet I'm living off my childhood dream But I can't help it, there's always something missing This and that, over there, always more, this is how I am

So I hope that someday I'll get to make love to a sincere person who won't play tricks on me I'm really fed up of giving without getting anything back I'm sick and tired of loving myself, being without a soulmate is unbearable But even so, know that on stage, thanks to you guys I feel like I'm far away from this crazy world 'Cause I write when I mess up And I laugh when I dance And I live when I sing And for all of that, I tell you: Thank you!

[aleki-lives-here]

I am doing trauma dumping right here because fuck everything that's my blog and I get to exist here. in personal and inconvenient ways.

It's incredibly infuriating to try and write my thoughts about any piece of media I happen to enjoy. I have thoughts. I have feelings. I wish I could express them! But I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle for every sentence written, my brain is the opponent, of course.

I struggle to allow myself to relate to characters, and even more to admit that. It's "making everything about myself". It's "pretending I'm important".

I struggle to let myself feel emotions. Generally, but even more so about art -- I'm not supposed to be affected by things. Being affected by things is something that shouldn't happen. It makes you irrational.

I struggle to let myself have an opinion. I'm not supposed to have one. It's not like my thoughts are worth anything. It's only ever annoying. I'm only ever too loud, and I should learn silence.

Unless I'm a perfectly rational, emotionless, nearly non-existent entity, I shouldn't speak. And I'm not. So I shouldn't speak at all. Others get to have emotions and thoughts and opinions. I dont. I shouldn't.

In my beloved (that's sarcasm. I think) System Collapse, there are these lines: "Like it was weird to be upset when your coworkers shot you. Even before I hacked my governor module, I was upset when my coworkers shot me. I wasn't surprised, but I was upset." I keep thinking about them.

Somehow. Anyhow. Murderbot manages to be better at acknowledging its feelings than I ever was.

I was never upset. I didn't have a governor module, sure, but I have always had those shoulds and shouldn'ts and supposed-tos. Not about actions -- about emotions and thoughts, too. Always, constantly, monitoring and editing and changing my every emotion and thought and preference and opinion, until there was nothing I could say about myself that was deeply true. And things that are real and personal? Those aren't allowed. Those aren't supposed to exist.

I'm not supposed to exist, as a breathing thinking person with past and future, things that affect me and things I hope for. An object to use however people want to? Sure. Sure. *Laughter* fucking sure! As a person? I'm not supposed to be a person. Being a person is too complicated. It's inconvenient. It's not what people need or want from me.

So many times in my life I dreamed I could be a machine. A robot that people could program to do what they need and enjoy indefinitely. It would cut on the hassle of trying to manage my (ew) emotions and needs.

Engaging with art is a painfully personal endeavour. It comes with admitting: I exist. I feel. I am affected by things, I have things I care about, things I like and dislike. I have emotions even if I can't access them. A whole entire world of experiences. I'm here. I'm fucking here.

I don't feel like I'm allowed to be here. Enjoying art feels like a crime. Like it's something created for others. Like I'm tainting it by touching it. Like I'm supposed to shut up and watch from the sides, like I always do. Not being affected, because being affected is inconvenient. It's the thing I can be the least: inconvenient.

I wish I could just turn these off. There's nothing in this life I've ever wanted more desperately than to exist. It's so hard to feel like I do. And acting like I do feels scary. Infinitely terrifying, for reasons I can't explain.

The murderbot diaries feels like it was created specifically to drive me crazy with all of this. Do I relate to Murderbot? Gods. Do I. Do I feel an infinite amount of emotions. Not even the safe ones I've been learning to allow myself -- the raw and ugly and infinitely complicated emotions. Does the idea of struggling to admit your personhood resonate with me in ways that feel so immediate and sharp I can't ignore them.

Does this story affect me. Oh, does it!

And I still feel stuck. Unable to express any of this. I can't even go experience an emotion in private, because I'm never without myself and myself is the problem and the one who struggles to let themself have this. In silence is where I find it the hardest to exist.

Fucking hell, all of this. Infinitely frustrating. And I have no clue what to do, except to try, and try, and try,

and try some more.

[veritasss5]

Hi ! I hope you are doing well and all good 🍀

My initial- h

Why do I want to join this game ?

Well it's not like I have left my Will to live but I would rather that I could be more clear about my life purpose, even thought If I don't get selected it won't mean that I won't search for it and live infact I will but if I'm getting a chance to know then there's nothing wrong in it :))

My quote :

Do what your heart says and at last somehow it will be all silent later all . [ I have many but it seems more practical and worthy one .]

Well why do I feel so ? Infact I would not like you to get energy of me being very serious here lol but it's often that we are busy answering back people when we don't want to , fighting back when we don't want to , we often listen those chatters of our mind when our heart says something else .. when we don't follow that little whishper busy rustling with others things and people as our uncontrolled mind says then do we ever question what we will get ? Nothing than restlessness and anger . We are often a step away from living that life we want to and the first step is to listen your heart but the primary one is to remove The ego which roars about ur self respect when it doesn't know its all power struggle we are getting in unnecessarily. Later with time it gets all peaceful and there's where you get answers and lessons .

Thank you !

Hello✨! This reading is matched by your energy that you shared with me.

Warriors keep fighting, and so you are a warrior.

You are warrior that brings light and abundance to people and you. The more you are surrounded in the light, the more energetic and powerful you are.

Have you ever thought that maybe you shine like the sun? Bright and warm that can melt the coldest winter of this world.

You reject faking to be someone that you are not, but people persisting in giving labels to you.

You keep being strong and fight for your own meaning of justice, while other people try to blow out the fire inside you.

The more powerful you are, the more they feel threatened by this everlasting flames that you have in your heart.

You may be alone in this journey. Sometimes it is not bright and the Moon overthrows the Sun, but that’s okay since it is temporary and not eternal.

Sometimes it feels tiring to fight something that you are the only one fighting for. But deep down in your heart, are you fighting for yourself or just to seek approval or a recognition from someone or people?

Warriors fight, no matter what. And so a real warrior shouldn’t seek for the spectators.

Wherever you walk and you shine like a true Sun is the real victory, and not pretending to be the Moon because people like that version of the story for you.

The prize is there. Yours to claim, but of course if you are willing to chase that worthy victory and treasure.

As long as you never lose sight of your true meaning of your existence, then everything is worth experiencing for your growth.

It’s time to be yourself, never let people step over you because that is very convenient for them.

The reason to live: in this life, abundance is infinite and never limited. If you think it is over for you then it is. But if you are courageous enough to believe there is something worth living for you to live fully this life, then keep going, holding your head high to hope your dreams come true. A warrior never gives up that easily. The journey may be challenging, but a true warrior can overcome anything. And so you have the heart and a spirit of a warrior.

Keeper of Abundance

Best wishes for your journey✨

#2

You can send your feedback in the ask box, also state “private” if you don’t want me to share it to the public.

THE GAME IS CLOSED

Divider by @/k1ssyoursister