#all i ask is just the bare minimum research

[qrichas]

aw man all that im asking for non brazilian qsmp fic writers is that whenever they want to make the brazilians say something in portuguese, that they at least either research if the phrase make sense/is grammatically correct or check with a brazilian fan if theyre right/ask for help.... bc the amount of fics i read that are well written and interesting but has a brazilian talking in portuguese and its the most nonsense sentence ever made/clearly a direct translation from english that makes no sense in portuguese makes me so sad it breaks the flow i was having and it makes me wanna close it immediatly

[probablygayattorneys]

I was reading a list of female characters clearly written by men and this is about X-Files but yes yes yes this is EXACTLY what replaying Layton games (particularly Unwound Future) is like!

[fingertipsmp3]

There are two wolves inside me. One is trying to convince me to do extensive research for the job interview tomorrow and the other is saying “wing it”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you know who Yuu is canonically close to? Like who actually considers themselves to be friends or at least close with Yuu and willingly interacts with them. I'm sorry if this sounds rude because I know people have their own yuusonas and headcannons but I'm just curious.

In order to respond to this question, I will primarily be referring to the main story. Voice lines are not going to be considered because a lot of them are primarily aimed at the player and serve as fanservice, which does not accurately reflect the character's relationship with them in the main story canon. Events and vignettes do indicate character relationships, but are not technically "canon" to the main story. However, I will bring up examples from these, as while these may not fit in a coherent main story timeline, the lore presented in them is still very sound. Yuu appears to be canonically close with the first years, although their closest allies among this group are Ace, Deuce, and Grim. The first years are seen partying at the end of Terror is Trending as a group, stake out Mickey Mouse + hang out at Lilia's farewell party in book 7 together, band together to help Ortho determine a club to join in his College Gear vignette, and help Ortho research the concept of "evolution" for Fairy Gala: What If. Yuu is obviously very close with Ace and Deuce, seeing as they share the same homeroom, eat lunch together, and have gone through many dangerous situations with one another (several OB battles being the main one). They think of each other when one of them isn't included, either! For example, in White Rabbit Fest, Deuce invited Ace to join them (but Ace couldn't due to basketball practice). So Deuce decides to buy him a souvenir instead! Ace extends an invitation to Deuce to join him for Playful Land. And do I even need to bring up the end of book 4 where those two bozos take a long and convoluted trip from the Queendom of Roses to Sage's Island DURING WINTER BREAK to check up on Yuu after receiving a SOS text from them??? Or their tearful reunion at the end of book 6??

Grim is also a very important friendship for Yuu. They are, of course, the first person Yuu meets upon their arrival in Twisted Wonderland, as well as one of their roommates. He's almost always with them, for better or for worse. Yuu is shown to be hurt when Grim attacks them at the end of book 5 and worries for his wellbeing. In fact, the very first time Yuu blatantly acts against Crowley's orders (to stay put) is to rescue Grim in book 6 after he was captured by Ferrymen.

I'd also like to add that the Ramshackle Ghosts are also pretty close with Yuu! They not only live together, but also cover for Yuu when they're unable to fulfill the chores Crowley asked them to do over winter break, play magift/spelldrive with Yuu, worry when Yuu goes away for extended periods of time, and make a Halloween costume for Yuu.

Some honorable/"up for debate" mentions go out to:

Crowley - Some fan works like to portray Crowley (or other staff) as a father figure to Yuu. However, Crowley does the bare minimum in canon to act like a parent and is often offloading work onto Yuu. He doesn't really show affection or go out of his way to spend time with them unless he wants something from Yuu.

"The nice guys" (Rook, Kalim, Silver, etc.) - They're nice to everyone, but not particularly close with Yuu specifically; it should be noted that Kalim, Lilia, and Silver all have called Yuu their "friend" in dialogue. Trey and Riddle - I think it could be said that Yuu is closer to Heartslabyul than the other dorms (partly because two of their closest friends are from this dorm), but I don't know if they're actually "friends"? Yes, Yuu does walk around with Riddle and Trey in book 5 to check out the culture fair. Yes, Trey did send sweets over with Adeuce at the start of their training camp. But I never actually see Riddle and Trey going out of their way to casually hang out with Yuu or anything like that. They seem very... "business professional" with Yuu to me. Malleus - I might catch some heat for saying this, but I don't believe Malleus and Yuu are as close as people think they are or want them to be. Do they talk consistently throughout the main story? Sure, but the exchanges are kind of short and usually don't amount to them sharing a lot. Does Malleus help Yuu out? Absolutely, especially in books 3 and 5. It doesn't mean they're necessarily close; every character gets moments where they pitch in. The nickname thing serves as a necessary filler because Malleus refuses to give his real name; it arguably is not a sign of intimacy (especially given that Grim came up with the name, not Yuu). I can see a point being made in Malleus sending a holiday card for Yuu in book 4 and Yuu returning the gesture with a VDC/SDC pass in book 5 (though this could also be viewed as transactional or tit for tat). Think about the main story timeline to put this all into perspective. It's been roughly 6 months since the start of the school year and Malleus and Yuu have only really had brief direct interactions like MAYBE 4 or 5 times total. Yuu doesn’t go over to speak with Malleus upon their return from S.T.Y.X. HQ in book 6; they’re focused solely on their reunion with Adeuce and Grim. They don't have other means of communication (like each others' phone numbers, which Adeuce do have, as seen in book 4) and they don't ever hang out outside of these mandated interactions. Yuu doesn't even learn their name properly until book 5, which is in FEBRUARY. And, unlike Yuu's friendships with Adeuce and Grim, Malleus's friendship relies a lot on self-projection. Whereas it's clear that the friendship between Yuu and the idiot trio is mutual, it feels very one-sided with Malleus. Like, Malleus seems more invested in it than Yuu is. He's the one thinking of them on holiday break; Yuu doesn’t think of him on holiday break. They think of Malleus only in like early book 7 when Ortho asks if they know any fae, and it’s for a personal reason too (helping them find a way home).

Yuu's closeness with Malleus is left vaguely defined so the player can insert whatever their own feelings about him are into the scenario. They speak with him in a casual tone, yet they never go out of their way to actually invite him to functions or ask questions to learn more about him. Yuu doesn’f even seem to be that torn up about going back home and never seeing Malleus again. This is not the case with Adeuce and Grim; Yuu has dialogue options which imply they would miss their company. Yuu feels so… detached from Malleus; he at best feels like an amicable (?) acquaintance, but not a friend.

[partangel]

in a research field like psychology, appearances and things like non disclosure and formality are seen as the utmost. however, in fields like narrative, we cant expect people to trust on someone they dont know. much less foster kids. im out there cracking jokes and sharing things with mine anytime if that eases their feelings of being fetishized because countless researchers come and go and ask them to fill out forms and relive their trauma without even trying to memorize their name. everyone wants to pick apart foster care because its a research savvy subject, but no one seems to want to humanize people who actually live in the system.

the day i enter my foster home and my participants dont come fist bump me and ask me whats up i know i have failed my job as a researcher, my ideals regarding psychology and my values as a human being.

me 🤝 symbolically adopting the foster teens who participate in my study by coming just to chat with them outside foster home

[robotbabe]

hello. jew here

dont write jewish characters if u know next to nothing about us or our culture/religion pls. if u want to write a jewish character (or any character outside the scope of your personal knowledge, honestly), you MUST take the time to read about us and our beliefs, customs, etc. im not saying u have to be an expert on the torah or the tanakh or the talmud, but u need to do at least the bare minimum. and google isnt always reliable, if u have questions u should carefully analyze which websites u use. or have a jew beta your fic/writing!

im just tired of seeing “this character is jewish :) u can tell because they celebrate hanukkah” and that is it for the jewish characterization. like i get that u ppl know nothing abt judaism except for hanukkah but u HAVE to do better than that. because ur essentially tokenizing the character as ur Jewish Representation and it shows.

again, im not saying ‘dont write that hanukkah scene’, or ‘dont try writing jews at all’.

what i AM saying is that u need to actually do ur part in understanding judaism a little bit more before u decide to write a jewish character. if ur not willing to do the research or ask the questions, dont bother writing us into ur stories.

[thewitchblue]

Hello! Do you take requests if u doooo 🤭🤭

Ok! So just imagine Damien dating a figure skater

gn or fem 🙏🏽

Andd the Batfam doesn’t know about it until. One day at dinner, dick asks if anybody is dating.

Stay silent for a moment but than Tim starts looking at Damien, and well, it’s a family full of detective so everybody peeps sad.

So now they’re just sitting there questioning him because wym he has a gf?? Who is she??

Does she know what he does at night??

Do they stay on the phone when going to sleep orrrr??

Do she got an older sister? ( this question was from Dick.) 

Like Tim knows all about Damines relationship ok like bro has access to basically every camera. He KNOWS a lot of things 😭

OH and don’t let them find out she ice skates.

Dick will instantly find an opportunity to bond with her cuz basically she’s like his little sister already.

Cass is a lil happy cuz like figure skating and ballet are kind of similar. So I feel like she would help you stretch or ask you for help. You show her that leap ballerina movie( it’s so good 😭)

Jason would def tease Damien about it all the time, like he has nothing against figure skaters(when the batfam went to an ice ring once he fell on his ahh😭) but like come on the bad ass kid that is sassy af got a girlfriend??? Thought he was gay honestly.

Tim as I mentioned before already knew about your relationship, he just didn’t know you figure skated. Is an interesting thing to him. Like it’s not but at the same time it is?? Yk

Bruce? He’s just glad his son can love someone that’s not his family. Def try’s and go’s to your competitions, makes the whole family go if Damien lets them. Honestly adore you, like? You a nice girl that wears pink in almost every. if not all outfits ?? Is dating his son Damien…Damien Wayne?? The one that frown 24 seven….ye ok

Like how would they be if they met her?

How would the titans react 😦

Jon:so you’re telling me you? Have a girlfriend?…r you paying her…

You assumed Damian had told them about you. Neither of you is outright affectionate (the industry wants you to be a hot single skater, and Damian was Damian), but you had assumed Damian would have at least told his family the bare minimum about you such as you figure skating professionally or even your existence. Turns out, he did not, and you found out in the most awkward dinner of your life.

"So, you aren't being paid off to cover his tracks?"

Jason asked. You had been invited to a dinner party after the others dogpiled on Damian to find out more about his secret relationship. Damian was still mentally cursing Tim. The rat snitched on him, and now he's stuck in this terrible situation.

Jason got kicked hard beneath the table by Damian, who was already annoyed he was forced to have a stupid dinner with his family to prove his relationship.

"I see on every recent social media post that says you are single."

Tim said. He spent the past 56 hours researching you until the words began to blur and the coffee ran out.

"I'm a private person. I guess you can say I don't kiss and tell."

You seemed amused, but Damian was screaming internally and glaring harshly at everyone around him.

Nobody else knew what to say. They already knew everything about you through Tim (well, besides the figure skating because Tim found that information irrelevant). This dinner was mostly to confirm you are real and that you do know Damian. This isn't some hallucination that the Batfamily has to figure out how to fix.

Colour them surprised when you actually showed up and lightly kissed Damian on the cheek. Jason had to give Dick twenty bucks with a scowl. He really thought there was zero chance Damian, Edgelord Supreme, would ever get a girlfriend.

You had no idea what to say because Damian prepared you already. There was nothing to say. You had to pick at your food and awkwardly talk about how long you've dated, which they already knew, and what your first date was like, which they also already knew. What can they say? They are the greatest detectives for a reason.

After the horrible dinner, you decided to take them all ice skating. Partially to calm your nerves and partially to see what they all have.

Jason, obviously, sucks at it, and Damian snickered every time he fell. You helped him as best you can, keeping him to the walls of the rink for support.

Dick was a little clumsy at first, but once he got it, he was a total show-off. He attempted figure skating moves but struggled with keeping control. You circled him and gave him tips, which he was surprised worked. You cheered for him and bonded over the overlap between gymnastics and figure skating. You were excited to find out he's a gymnast because you also do gymnastics on the side. You are a professional figure skater, so you are surprised there weren't more people asking for tricks from you.

Cass held your hand the entire time, which you were fine with. You saw how excited she was by the ice skating, so you offered to watch a figure skating movie when they got back to the manor, which she happily agreed to do. She had a feeling she's going to love you. You showed her a few beginner-friendly tricks, and helped her with her form. You'd love to spend more time with her.

"You are going to have to show me your moves after the movie."

Cass agreed happily. She was excited to see you again. She's already welcoming you into the family, and so was Dick as he slid in between both of you.

You giggled, more than happy with your little trio going on. Damian did warn you Dick is the family golden retriever, but you didn't consider it seriously until you met him.

"You're invited to our movie night too, Dick."

Dick winked and asked,

"Do you have a sister? We can double date."

You laughed and shook your head in amusement. You replied,

"Not in this lifetime, Dickie."

Bruce watched in the seats with Damian.

"She is not what I expected to be your type after Raven. When is her next competition?"

Damian seemed startled that he knew about the figure skating. Nobody else did except Tim. He told him,

"She'll be in Gotham. The competition is in a week."

Bruce nodded. He liked you. He liked the adoration that Damian couldn't keep off his face when he looked at you and the way you seemed to make him smile without even trying. He'll have to remember to bring Damian when he goes to the competition. He wants to see you in action.

He smiles softly as you laugh with Cass and Dick, Jason eventually joining the group after shuffling for a couple of minutes. You are perfect for the family.

The Titans didn't quite know what to do with this information.

Beast Boy was the loudest about his disbelief. The boy has zero filter, and he asked probably a million questions after Damian was caught sneaking you out one night, which Damian still hates because it woke up everybody and suddenly he had to show the whole team his girlfriend. He wanted to wait, but evidently, fate was not on his side.

Raven already knew. She was just thankful Damian can finally stop sneaking you in and out of their tower nightly. She was the one who put Beast Boy on a leash when it came to the thousands of questions he asked.

Starfire had a strong feeling Damian was hiding something. Dick taught her a thing or two about reading people, and Damian's baseline changed substantially. He was secretive about his phone, often vanished for seemingly no reason, and sometimes came home with lipstick on his lips that he had to buy make-up removal wipes for and keep the wipes on him at all times.

Blue Beetle was surprised anybody would date Damian. You were nice and asked questions about the scarab, and you both connected when you asked to see the scarab in action. It felt good to show his powers off to someone who could truly appreciate them. He liked you.

Cyborg also liked you. He researched ice skating terms to speak to you better. You seemed equally interested in him. You asked him questions about his backstory, and it kind of dissolved into Cyborg crying and mourning his life before becoming a cyborg. You held him as he cried and listened to him. He loved you like the others.

[caramel-maveeato]

𝐀𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭 ♡˚₊ 。。。 ᴋ. ᴀᴋᴀʙᴀɴᴇ ᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ

❧❤ SYNOPSIS: What it’s like to date THE Akabane Karma…   ♡ Pairings/Love interest: Akabane Karma x GN!reader ♡ Genre: fluff, slight hurt/comfort ♡ TW: too much yapping, might be very OOC this is just my opinion ♡ Word count: 1.5k

Note: All characters originated from “Assassination Classroom” except for y/n.  All characters are 18 or older. English is not my first language!!! Sorry in advance if I make any grammar and vocabulary mistakes.

Oh god I love him

My bish. 

Been happily married to him for 8+ years so here's a fic to describe my experience (Delusion is my middle name.)

Akabane Karma has a very Akabane Karma way to love. 

Karma is rich and can afford fancy restaurant dates, but he prefers more casual dates: coffee date, study date, arcade, park, mall, concerts, outdoor movie, late night walks, throwing rocks on the rooftop of some dickhead’s houses he/you hate, going around causing troubles with you becoming his accidental accomplice, etc. He loves the light-heartedness and silliness of them.

(It’s lowkey romantic when you run away from security hand-in-hand.)

On nighttime dates, he’ll sneak you out during random midnights by climbing through your window (if you live with family) or barging through the front door just so you can go on an adventure with him.

No one’s stopping him, no one can stop him anyway. 

His love language is a mix of Quality Time, Act of Service, and Gift Giving. 

Quality Time: He likes being near you. Doesn’t matter if he was on his game console and you were on your phone scrolling through Tumblr or if you both are working like a dog on two different laptops, doesn’t matter. 

He doesn’t mind the comfortable silence as long as he can still feel your presence or see you. 

Daily contact is needed. Not that you have to chat 24/7, but enough communication (that’s the bare minimum). If you can’t see each other at all, he wants to at least text a bit or talk on the phone.

The feeling of closeness is comforting to him considering how he never really has it growing up.

Act of Service: As much as he subconsciously does little things for you like paying close attention to what you tell him and your body language, doing research on things you like, giving you his jacket when he notices you slightly shiver without you even asking him to, reminding you to eat (though his ass doesn’t eat regularly either), making you your favorite dishes—Karma secretly melts when you pays him the similar amount of attention. 

You don’t have to do allat, just be yourself and love him in your own way is enough to show him that you really care. 

Gift Givings: Karma spoils you to death (he’s rich af).

You stare at a bracelet for more than a few seconds at a mall? Boom he already got it nicely wrapped up while you go to the bathroom. You say a shirt is cute? Boom he’s taking his wallet out right now. You wonder whether you should get fruit smoothie or milkshake? Boom he’s paying for both. You woke up on a random Thursday morning? Boom there’s a silly, stupid looking plushie sitting on your bed with a small note, “It looks like you :P”

This is lowkey the way he’s been taught growing up—which his traveler parents would throw gifts and souvenirs at him once every blue moon they came home as a way to express that they ‘cared’.

But he isn’t like them. The gifts he buys you aren’t empty envelopes that’s called ‘love’ nor half-assed apologies for ignorance. These are just physical emphasis of what he feels for you, just something extra to add to the genuine love he already shows daily. 

Physical Affection: Karma is quite closed off and despite his effort to seem like a nonchalant, I-don’t-need-no-one lonewolf, he’s diagnosed with touch starvation.

But he has trust issues, plus that colossal reputation of a “cool guy” he has to maintain, he doesn’t like it when people become too physically comfortable with him. Or at least deep down he’s programmed himself to think that he doesn’t like being touchy-feely. 

(Which is the reason why bro’s always caught standing there like a sims character when Koro-sensei lovingly pats his head or Itona that one time too lol) 

Inwardly, he’s a bit flabbergasted to find out (be honest with himself) that he actually doesn’t mind receiving some physical love. From people he trusts and is close to only, of course. 

This explicitly includes his ✨romantic partner✨

Though despite the above belief of Karma being a touch-starved boy, I feel like he doesn’t show his true color until weeks or even months into the relationship. And still mildly bashful sometimes when he initiates the affection until completely get used to it, which can take 1-2 years or more.

I feel like he doesn’t mind PDA, but he doesn’t want to overdo it either. So usually Karma would just hold your hand, placing his hand on your waist or wrap an arm around your shoulders. 

But he’d show more than just the slight touches in cases where he wants to tease you or to shoo “competitors” away, or just… when he feels like it. 

Words of Affirmation: Words on the other hand isn’t something Karma will do much, he’s capable of doing so though. Compliments may be spilled once in a while, he’d rather keep them in his head. He loves you, but he’ll express it through actions instead of words because his huge ego doesn’t want to sound “overly sappy.” It’s just not his style. 

This makes his “I love you”s hit harder than they’re supposed to since he doesn’t say it often. 

As much as Karma cherishes his partner, he’s still a playful little shit.

He’ll poke fun at you and tease you just because. He does know when to stop and remembers certain boundaries not to cross, but still pisses you off sometimes because he.is.so.annoying. 

If something he said hits a sore spot for you, he’d try to throw his pride down the stairs and apologize almost instantly because hell, how could he hurt you?? On the other hand, if you’re just having enough of his relentless teasing, then no, he wouldn’t beg for your forgiveness. 

Instead, Karma would buy you some small gifts or favorite food, or crack a joke, anything to pull out even the slightest, littlest lift of your lips.

Then he’ll surprise you with a hug or a kiss, trapping you in his arms until the tension evaporates entirely. 

He’s hateable but lovable at the same time ugh

Jealousy Karma we need.

He’s outward and inwardly chill most of the time.

So it’s not like him to constantly be worked up and worried about your loyalty. He trusts you a lot, if he doesn’t you two wouldn’t be dating. He knows you aren’t gonna cheat on him or do anything behind his back.

But the jealousy can be caused by something outside of your relationship, like someone shows too much interest in you. But I feel like this can only apply when that person makes him feel threatened in terms of “perfection.” 

Karma doesn’t show it but his insecurities can still be triggered, he’s only human after all. So on the bad days he feels like his “love rival” is a bit too good and compatible with you, that’s where you can see a jealous version of your boyfriend. 

He’s gonna be more pissy and quiet, (or just sulky in general, even clingy), and he urgently needs the confirmation that you love him. So please don’t ignore the signs and show him just that. 

Being a rising bureaucrat is exhausting, but Karma wouldn’t let it affect the person he deeply treasures. 

We all know Karma doesn’t trust easily. So if he goes out of his way to confess and date you, he’s extraordinarily, horribly smitten. 

He grows up alone and neglected, most people in his life either hate him or respect him out of fear. So I don’t think he’s willing to let go of someone he finally, finally feels safe and loved with if the reason is simply stress/busyness. 

Time management is hard, of course. But if he wants to he would, and Karma wants to. 

It might be overwhelming at first, pressures from different aspects of life might kick both of you in the ass. You two probably would find yourselves arguing more than normal. But even if he’s tired and stubborn, Karma won't let you stay angry at each other overnight because his partner is so dear to him.

He’ll try to be at home every night, but omg Japan’s work culture… that can be impossible on some days due to overtime work. 

He’ll text you or call you during breaks, more callings on the nights he’s stuck at work—your voice is emotional support and keeps him going. If you fall asleep during FaceTime he’ll just keep the phone there and glancing at your sleeping face once in a while, lowkey feeling more comforted while going half batshit insane with paperworks. 

He’ll make it up to you afterwards.

So yeah, once you both get the hang of it it’ll be fine again. Busyness is just a dumb excuse for a relationship to fall apart, that means effort wasn’t being put in enough from both sides. Your relationship with Karma is far away from this.

I feel like when Karma finally finds someone to be openly affectionate with and the said person gives him the same amount of care, it’s healing his inner child too. (I cried)

Please love him I love him so much. 

A/N: It's almost 2025 and I'm still not over assclass I want them back so bad my class E babies :((

[bringthekaos]

I'm excited for your thoughts on the new season if/when you share them

It has legit taken me 3 days to come to terms with Act 1. Enough to be able to speak about it. Gunna apologize in advance for the wall of text, and I’m hiding it under a break for spoiler reasons. Also prefacing with these are all just my opinions. All are free to disagree with me and RB with discussions/theories etc. just don’t be a dick about it, I’m not engaging in any discourse.

Ok. So. I have mixed feelings, and I’m aware that this is because I don’t have the whole story yet. So this is all contingent on how the rest of the season plays out.

First and foremost, I’m… wildly swinging back and forth between love and disappointment for Viktor’s arc. So first the negative, and I’ll try to keep it brief because a lot of people have already expressed this and I don’t need to be beating that particular dead horse.

Viktor has had his agency, his bodily autonomy, his original ideas and nearly everything that made him Viktor stripped away. Nothing so far has been his choice. And while this could have worked just fine for an original character, he wasn’t. So there is a massive disconnect between what this character was/should have been. In League, it was all his choice (albeit with a healthy dose of mental illness thrown in, but still). AND it was very heavily suggested that many of the augmentations he performed weren’t as extensive as he lead everyone to believe (namely the controlling/dousing of his emotions). But it appears that whatever the Hexcore did to him, it’s real. He is clearly having a difficult time accessing his emotions, and if he can feel anything, it is limited to the point of him being completely stoic. And the thing with stoic characters is that you obliterate any emotional payoff for the audience. It’s very hard to make an audience feel an emotional connection to a character’s story arc when they themselves don’t feel anything (I have a theory about this though, but I’ll address it a little later in this post). And then there is the issue of Blitzcrank. Blitz was Viktor’s whole world, after his exile. How are they going to swing that? Like, I’m not even asking for Blitz to be in Arcane (that would be great, but I really don’t think they have time). But I stg if they take Blitz away from Viktor, make them someone else’s invention (my suspicion is Heimer or he finds the idea in Sky’s journal)… I’m sorry but no. This was Viktor’s idea, Viktor’s genius. I will genuinely be extremely upset if they take that from him too.

Then there is the whole situation with Sky. First, this girl was fridged. She was nothing but a plot device and continues to be just that. It feels hollow and forced, especially now that he’s hallucinating her as some sort of penance for what he did. (I have seen the prevalent theory that it’s the Hexcore using her image and his guilt to manipulate him, given that it “ate” her, and we have seen it “manipulate” him before when it punished him for trying to destroy it). But back to Sky—he barely acknowledged that poor girl. The reason for that can be argued, whether it’s because he’s gay or because he was just so wrapped up in his one-track minded research. But regardless, there just wasn’t enough setup between those two for this whole thing to have as much weight and meaning as I think it’s supposed to. Honestly to me (TO ME) it reeks of comphet. It feels like that random woman they threw at Poe Dameron to No Homo him. I’m not even asking for Jayvik canon. But the creators were well aware of this ship, after all it’s the second most popular ship in this show and it’s been around since 2012 when Jayce was literally created for Viktor. I’m asking for the bare minimum here—that it’s left open-ended as it was in League, open for interpretation.

Last negative I have is the whole Viktor Jesus thing. The first problem is I am pretty violently agnostic, and messiah narratives have never spoken to me. I don’t enjoy them, they feel weak. The whole “ordained by a higher power” thing is just… stale. Especially when this character originally had no higher power, he gave it to himself through his own hard work and ingenuity. Honestly, Viktor’s original arc is about as far from a Jesus allegory as you can possibly get. And I am absolutely terrified that they’re going to end said Jesus arc the way you’d expect—with him dying for it. Which leaves the moral of his story “disabled man should have just accepted that he was going to die despite the fact that it was the oppression and xenophobia of Piltover that left him out to dry, without proper health care, accessibility, equality, or equity that lead to his terminal diagnosis to begin with.” Which is a very oppressor-centric narrative and we do not need another one of those.

Sorry, I know I said I’d keep the negatives brief, and that was… not. My bad. But moving on!

I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it, I did. I am working to embrace this new Viktor narrative and work it into my brain in a way that doesn’t ruin the ship for me. So without further ado, the positives.

Jayce.

Jayce.

Jayce.

I’d have to go back and time it, but it feels like he got more screen time in this first act than the entirety of the first season combined, and his character shined for it. It humanized him in ways season one never did. He’s caring, he’s devoted, and he loved Viktor! No matter what kind of love you think it is, it proves he loved Viktor without a doubt. He carried Viktor several city blocks to the lab to save him, and then YES, he broke his promise about the Hexcore because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing him!

And he’s funny! (The scene where he picks up the regular sized hammer in the fight against Renni and made that “this is ironic” face?? And then basically the entire interaction with Ekko? The hand me a tome thing, and then when he basically pulled this when Ekko suggested “so this is all your fault cuz you pissed off the Arcane”:

GOD that shit was great. Jayce’s personality just shined, and maybe it’s too much to hope, but maybe this will douse a little of the hate. Because instead of being a subtle hint at all of those things being true about him, it’s now overt. And when people lack media literacy, the hints have to be overt.

And th-the. The h. The HUG SCENE. I don’t think I will ever emotionally recover from that scene. Starting with Viktor who, despite being clearly emotionally—I dunno, vacant I guess—sounded so lost and scared when he said “what am I?” For me, it was whispers of that scene from The Last Unicorn: “what have you done to me?” And my poor sweet Jayce, who clearly hasn’t left this damn lab except to go to Cassandra’s memorial. Sleeping on the desk and bleeding through his bandages because he doesn’t want to spend a moment away from Viktor while he “recovers.” And his euphoric response when he finds Viktor alive, when he realizes he hasn’t lost him. And I OWE HIM AN APOLOGY, goddamn. I said in a post that “Jayce will not understand.” I thought that was how Arcane was gunna start the divorce. But Jayce genuinely did not care, as long as his lover friend was alive. And just… Jayce being so affectionate through this entire scene. The hug obviously, but also blurting things he thought he’d never get to say to Viktor—“I’m resigning from the council, my place was always here in the lab with you.”

And… the hug itself. I know we’re all analyzing it frame by goddamn frame, but I see exactly what everyone else sees—there is a moment where Viktor very subtly smiles. But it’s gone in an instant, and it turns bittersweet. LOOK AT HIM.

There is something there, it’s just buried. Deep beneath the surface. It seems to say “I want this, I have wanted this for so long.” But then he realizes something, something I don’t think we’re meant to understand yet. Maybe that he doesn’t feel anything about it anymore, and he recognizes that this should upset him and it doesn’t. Or perhaps it’s something more along the lines of “it’s too late.” Whatever it is, I think this is the exact moment he knows he has to walk away. Because he knows he’ll cave to the affection, he said it himself. (Which is another thing entirely. His voice changes when he says that. Something in him is reacting to that word. Maybe he’s fighting against it, or maybe he’s fighting to get it back. But something made him almost growl that word.)

Which leads me to my final thought (for this post anyway, cuz it’s turning into a novel); Viktor is still in there. He can still feel things, I just think they’re extremely muted by whatever the Hexcore did/continues to do to him, or he has to fight to express them. Because he also smiled at the hallucination of Sky after he “cured” Huck. And if he feels nothing, he wouldn’t have been “joyous” at the thought of her being proud of him, approving of the good things he’s trying to do in her memory. He wouldn’t crave that validation, that vindication from her. So I’m hopeful that we start to see this shell crack a little, especially if those visions of Sky are the Hexcore manipulating him through guilt. It will start to erode him, no matter how stoic he has become. And literally the only thing I’m clinging to is that Jayce will see this and try to pull him out. “He’s still in there and I have to save him.” And that maybe it’ll start to work.

[pleasantphantomhologram]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Y/N 

Warning: NONE, PURELY FLUFF <3

Summary: Adulting as a girl in this shitty world means that every single bare minimum thing that your soon to be boyfriend/crush did is such a treasure for you. You easily impress by this type of man because all men in your life including your dad are very shitty. But, with Jason Todd, your new boyfriend, everything has changed and HE teaches you more than that. 

A/n: hey bare minimum gurl, how is your day lately? Yes, i am still on my holiday, and I want to write this things that happened around me. Yes, many of my girlfriends are having a boyfriend, but they are easily impressed by all this bare minimum act that their boyfriends did. All i could say is… please don’t ever settle for bare minimum, gurl. You deserved so much more 🥰 

Being a girl is hard. That’s the only fact that you know since you are in school and now an adult working woman who has lived in Gotham city for almost 3 years. Yes, you are working so hard to be here, and now all of your hard work is paying off. You are a copywriter for some big agency here. It’s not that you are having this ‘Sex and The City’ dream, at some point you hate your job, but at least, the pay is not bad and you can afford this small studio apartment with your furry pet, a british shorthair cat named Zach. 

It seems that your life is perfectly fine, but, of course it’s not because you are just a girl. You love reading romance novels, it’s like an escapism of your sometimes shitty boss. You have this certain type of favorite trope and dream boy, but, in real life you are very easy to impress by the bare minimum thing that every bumble match guy does to you.

You have many ex-(shitty)boyfriends, and there are also shitty crushes and it seems you never learnt from your previous relationship. But, when you meet this 28 year old man named Jason Todd from one of the parties that your friends held, everything seems different.

He is not just asking about how’s your day, or how he is always checking you out (and you are not even in a relationship yet!), but every once a week he send you a bouquet of your favorite flowers (He asked you this when you two were on your first date). 

On your second date, Jason, who initiated everything, he researched the most favorite cafe to go on a date and made a list of what to do after that. He did bring you to your favorite book store and said he knew this information because he saw your Instagram story gushing over new books here. 

“ To be honest, I know that you like this place because I saw your IG story a week ago.”

“You remember that?” Y/N asked with a disbelief tone. It surprised you that this man remembered the nonsense IG story that you made sometimes.  

“..Shit, am I wrong? So, sorry I don't know if it made you uncomfortable.” he said. 

“No.., no, it is fine. It is just… No one besides my friends is paying attention to my nonsense IG story.” You said. 

“It is not nonsense, I think you are just being you and that’s cute.” You blushed at his words. Damn you Todd, she cursed in her heart. 

At the end of the date, Jason Todd took you to the front of your apartment and said that he is so happy to spend time with you and surprise-surprise he said…

“Hei, Y/N i.. uhh, i like the way our conversation goes from the first time we’ve chatted, and… uhh, can we take this to another level. i … I like you. a lot, actually. and this is my first time that i felt this. And.. I don't know what’s the best time to ask you to be my girlfriend? shit, is it too soon?”

You can’t help but giggle a bit, oh my why he is so cute. 

 “Jay…, I like you too.” You confessed to him.

“Really? But, I think I just did the bare minimum things the guy did. You deserve more than this. Okay, I will show you how a man should treat his partner  more than bare minimum.” 

From the moment he told you that, you two were in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Every weekend he visits your apartment and bring your favorite snack and food, and snacks for Mr. Zach! The first time he visited your apartment, he even steals Mr. Zach attention with his charming smile. For your information, Mr. Zach is not like you, he is hard to impress by humans, but with Jason, everything seems easy for him. 

“Hello, who is this gentleman? Wow, he is so majestic.” Said Jason. 

“His name is Zach.. he is..” You are stunned a bit when Mr Zach is already on Jason’s lap purring over him. 

“Oh my God. he never does that to any stranger.”

“Well, I think Mr Zach approved of me as your boyfriend? Right, Mr. Zach?” Zach kept purring on his lap. 

If your cat approved of this man, how can you not melt on his hand then? You thought, you will fallin so hard to this man, and you don’t even know if you will recover if you two break up.

 True to his word, he always shows youi how much he care about this relationship. He posted about you on his instagram and never try to hide his relationship with you. he is fuckin smitten with you. When he is at your apartment he always listens to your rambling like…

“Guess what..” you said

“What is it babe?”

“You remember Samantha, the project manager that I told you about..”

“The girl you said is so useless and not very helping.”

“Yes….  Today someone found out  she is the mistress of our Art Director.” Jason gasped with an excited tone.

“No waaaaayyyy..”

“Yes waaaaaay.. I can't believe that the tea is boiling.” you chuckled. Jason smiles at you.

It feels so natural the way this dynamic with Jason, he always listens to what you say, he genuinely cares about you, and you just realize that this is how it feels to be loved by someone.

---- 

He likes to spoil you rotten, you are totally his queen and he doesn’t stop to show how much he loves you. Every little things he did always made you melt, like for example that time when the weather is getting cold, he always remind you to wear your jacket and when he pick you up from your office, he always make sure that you wear your jacket neatly so that you don’t get cool when he takes you on his motorbike. 

“Wait, let me fix your jacket first.” he said. 

“It is already good.”

“It doesn’t hurt to check again.” he smiled at you. Ugh, you love him so much. 

When you two are officially one year together, He asked you if you want to move in with him to this apartment that he newly bought. It’s an apartment with three bedrooms and one of the room he designed to be your mini library and cozy place to read with a big sofa on the corner. 

HONESTLY, YOU WANTED TO SCREAM AT THIS POINT, IS IT A DREAM? 

“You are lying right?” You asked with a disbelief tone. 

“No baby, it is the truth. I am so sorry if this is too sudden. I.. I just want to be with you and wake up next to you every single day of my life. But, if you are still not ready yet, it’s okay baby, you can just visit it whenever you like.” He said while caressing your face. Now, you are totally crying. 

“Oh my God, Jaybird you are totally peace of shit,” and then you kiss him and hug him. 

“Okay.. I will move in with you.” when he heard the yes, he is smililng widely and kiss her again. 

“Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for bring so much happiness to my life.”

“Jaybird, I love you too.”

[watership-clown]

Debunking Lily's "Behavioural Psychology Degree" with facts and logic (and a two minute google search)

First of all, big ups to @skrinkskronk (EDIT: ammended the screenshot credit :) thank you to skrinkskronk for both the picture and the clarification!) as, without their keen screenshot button, this post could not and would not exist. You can check for yourself - the original ask no longer lives on Lily's blog (a fact that I'm sure many Lily defenders will have quite the opinion about - please see the questions section below! <3) Second of all: who the fuck am I?

Someone who attended university in Canada, that's who!

For real though: I have a bachelor's degree from the University of British Columbia, double majoring in English Literature and History. Does this mean I know anything at all about getting a behavioural psych degree?

No!

But I do know how attending university in Canada works. It is not at all as Lily describes. I'm going to largely avoid talking about the degree itself in this post - CrimsonEnder has already done the research on that and I highly recommend checking out his post for more information on why Lily couldn't even get the degree she claims to have studied for. Instead, I'm going to go forward as if we are in an alternate dimension where Lily made the far more believable claim that she was working towards a Bachelor of Science degree with a focus on Psychology.

Let's do a close reading, shall we?

And barely graduating is still graduating.

Starting off strong: this is a true statement! She's right, to get your high school diploma in the province of Nova Scotia, one must:

Meet the minimum number of credits requited for graduation, which is 18 (source: creditsforgraduationdiplomaen.pdf (ednet.ns.ca) )

That's it! (in my province we also had to pass a literacy assessment and do some 30 odd hours of community service. no, I'm not still salty about it 10 years later.)

However, passing is not succeeding. Lily has stated that she barely passed high school, did the bare minimum to get it over and done with. This is fine in and of itself. I attach no moral or intellectual weight to not caring about high school as it is by no means set up to let every child succeed. However, doing the "bare minimum" to pass does not open many doors for further schooling down the road. So, in order to pass a class, one must achieve a minimum of 60% - otherwise known as a grade of C. Assuming that for her 12th grade year Lily took a full load of 4 courses over two semesters, achieving the minimum grade that would allow her to walk the stage and get her diploma, she would leave high school with a 2.0 gpa.

Remember this score. 2.0. We will come back to this.

This is in Canada, there's no SAT's to take.

Look at that! 2 for 2 true statements. Canada has no SAT or nation-wide equivalent. Understanding this, in order to meet the minimum requirements for admission into university, one's GPA plays an extremely large role. For example, in order to even be considered for admission into McGill, one of Canada's top universities, one must have a 3-year minimum grade range of 85% (an A) and a final GPA of 4.0. Grades equal to or above this minimum do not guarantee admission (NO, I'm NOT still salty that I didn't get admitted). With a 2.0 GPA, Lily's application would have been tossed after a glance. "BUT BUT BUT!" I hear you say, "this is from one of Canada's most selective institutions! In a province Lily doesn't even live in! You're holding her to an improbable standard!" And you would be right! But this was just an example to showcase how university admissions function. Let's look at a uni a little closer to home. Let's even look at four:

Dalhousie University Undergrad minimum requirements: 75% or 3.0 (source: General admission requirements | Dalhousie University) )

Mount Saint Vincent University: 70% or 2.70 with no individual grade below 60% (source: Admissions (msvu.ca) )

Saint Mary's University: 70% or 2.70 with no individual grade below 60% (source: Canadian High School Curriculum Requirements | Future Students | Saint Mary's University (smu.ca) )

University of King's College: 75% or 2.0 with no individual grade below 60% (source: Undergraduate Admission Requirements | University of King's College (ukings.ca) )

She doesn't meet the minimum requirements for any local Halifax university or college with a psych program. However, if we are to be charitable, (and believe that Lily scored slightly above the true minimum of 60%) MSVU could have admitted her based on individual merit. From their mature students policy, we can read:

Applicants who present overall grade XII averages between 65 and 69 percent will be reviewed for admission on an individual basis. (source: Admissions (msvu.ca) )

I'm not going to pretend this isn't the case or couldn't be true or try to obfuscate it from her and her defenders.

... But if the rebuttal is so easy, why doesn't she say that?

You either graduated High School or you didn't.

I'm sure Lily did graduate high school. I'm certain she did so after putting in the minimum amount of required work. I do not believe that she has or ever intends to attend university in Canada.

Objections I'm sure this post will spark:

"skrinkskronk's screenshot could be faked!"

And I could have blue skin, but that is not reality. Rather than taking my word for the fact that this ask was real, the answer Lily gave was as shown above, and many people saw it before it went MIA, I instead invite you to consider something: asking Lily yourself. Go on! Ask her! In whatever way you find most comfortable, ask how she went to university for a) a degree that doesn't exist b) with a below-requirement gpa and c) paid for it with money she doesn't have. When she deletes your ask, ignores your superchat, or approaches your honest and genuine thirst for truth with hostility, I then want you to ask yourself why that is.

"Lily could have upgraded her scores at a local college before applying to university!"

Did she say that? Has she ever claimed to have done that? Or are you putting the right words into her mouth so she can easily go "Yup! that's what I did! Obviously!"

If she had done this (or had at least thought of this herself), why didn't she claim to have done this in the original ask? Wouldn't it be easier to just say "I upgraded later" than pretend that a measly 2.0 could get you into an advanced degree program? I have no doubt that Lily is going to recount her story and claim the above statement was true all along. "[She] just upgraded!" But I ask you to think on this, to really consider it: why is the story only changing after confrontation? If the answer is so simple and so obvious... why was it not always true?

"You say at multiple points that Lily could easily provide a rebuttal but she doesn't owe you or any of her critics a response!"

This is true! However, she responds to criticism all the time.

Her taking down Sai's streams is her responding to Sai's criticism. Her snarkily talking around Ant and his content in her videos is her responding to his criticism. Her answering asks from her fans (despite in her "rules" stating that she will not) filling her in on the goings on of her critics is a response to their criticism. A response isn't always the literal "and to that I say: blah blah blah".

If Crimson, I, or anyone else who thought twice about this situation were wrong: could we not be easily disproved? She is the one who (supposedly) attempted the degree. The records would exist. She would have access to them. She would not run away when challenged with a very easily disprovable argument. As much as Lily loves to protest that she ignores the haters and refuses to respond to criticism, that claim is demonstrably false. She responds to criticism all the time - she can't keep Sai, Crimson, or Ant's names out of her mouth while on stream, in her videos, or on her blog. If she had an easy win, she would take it. She has before. She will again.

Closing Arguments

I feel like I have adequately demonstrated that, even if Lily did apply for an undergraduate degree, if not the flashy shiny

Behavioural Psychology

that she claims, she likely wouldn't have even made it past the admissions stage. I don't want to say that it's completely impossible for her to have attempted post-secondary education. As stated above: MSVU could have admitted her based on individual merit.

What I do hope is that this post invites people think more critically about her claims.

What do I think happened with the original ask? I think some anon, the original question asker or otherwise, challenged her before I or CrimsonEnder did. This scared her and, realizing she'd been caught, tried to wash away the evidence before anyone else could trip on the lie. Sadly, that's not what happened.

If she did attend university, how did she pay for it? Is a 2.0 GPA enough to qualify her for a scholarship, grant, or bursary? A 4 year degree in Canada can easily run a person $6,463 per year, not including textbooks or other fees. Where did she suddenly get that much money? These claims are so easily questioned and disproven because Lily Orchard thinks her audience is too whipped and fundamentally too stupid to ever seek the information for themselves.

She does not respect you. She does not respect your intelligence as a human being.

You deserve better.

[sgiandubh]

Idk about anyone else but it’s interesting to me that a con for Outlander is doing the same thing that Creation Entertainment does with the two leads of Supernatural, Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. Any other cast member that attends the con as a guest with them has more reasonable prices for photo ops and Q&As and such, but it’s half my mortgage for one (1) person to meet Jared or Jensen?? (Keyword OR, as you have to pay twice to see them both if they’re not together {called the J2 Panel} and my mortgage is ~$2300) yikes. I’ve always suspected these convention companies are just capitalizing on the respective actor’s name, no matter how niche said actor is. I love Jared and Jensen as much as I love Sam, I still keep up with them despite my torrential time in the SPN fandom, but once again I’m grateful I prefer to admire these wonderful talented men from afar because my bank account would be yelling at me otherwise 😅😅

Dear @samsheughan,

Unlike you, this is the first (and certainly last, thanks) fandom experience for me. Paying 25 francs (5 USD) circa 1996 for a laminated, fake FBI agent ID with my photo and name, on behalf of the French X-Files fan club does not count, ahem. Suffice to say this folly just made my entourage laugh like drains (I was a sophomore, back then, mind you) and call me Agent Sgian-dubh for about a year and a half, or so. Embarrassing doesn't even start to describe the reality of it. Especially when you are 18, you think you are Simone de Beauvoir - at a bare minimum-, as you smoke your cigarette and sip your allongé while desperately trying to look intelligent, outside Le Café de Flore.

How we were happy, back then, and in what uncomplicated world we used to live, though! Without any fan events and forced to go to the nearest Internet cafe for the slightest Altavista research, that naive fanzine I received every month by snail mail quickly grew old, as my patience for the 'Agent Sgian-dubh' gleeful quip. Interestingly enough, I still must have that fake ID, somewhere. Last time I saw it, in one of my old wallets, my mother looked mildly interested ('and what the fuck is this, excuse me? an X-Files fan club ID? oh...'), but that entire experience was definitely underwhelming. Even if I secretly did ship Mulder & Scully, without having any idea that was a thing. Too ashamed to admit to it, for all of the above mentioned reasons.

Alas, today is just another planet, where cheap thrills and a pat on the back do cost half a mortgage. As a Romanian saying would have it, 'the stupid one is not the one who's asking, the stupid is the one who's paying'. In S's case, I think the mommies were and will be his demise, if he doesn't quickly get the gist of it and branches out, somehow. I mean, come on, with all due respect and all that #silly interest, this is JAMMF we're talking about, not Lang Lang, tickets to whose concerts don't cost one kidney and a half!

I don't even find it funny, mind you. I find it sad, perhaps because I am thinking about the day this entire circus will be over and done with and completely forgotten. But until then, let's sing and be merry: with one more season to air, the #shitshow is still alive and kicking and the fat lady is nowhere near.

[justphilia]

Rating Dungeon Meshi Characters Based on How Well They Can Take Care of Me When I'm Sick

Scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best. Precaution I have bias for women.

Laios - 7/10 He'll definitely try his best, but he's not very good at it. Achieves the bare minimum of keeping me fed and making sure I take my meds, but most of the time he wouldn't really know what to do to help more. As I drift in and out of consciousness, I see him staring at me with his autism eyes through the gap of my door.

Falin - 9/10 Practically my bedside nurse. Checks my temperature every so often, makes sure to keep my forehead cool. She makes it possible for me to be glad I'm sick, though I am not sure if she knows how to cook. Fortunately, too ill to gaf. Also it's Falin.

Marcille - 9/10 She will think I am dying and because of this she's desperate to help me recover. Heh. I love the attention. But I think. I THINK. she may not know what she is doing about a quarter of the time. She'll read the instructions on my meds like 5 times before giving it to me. She'll research what kind of foods is good for speedy recovery. She'll forget to wring the cold rag before putting it on my head, and every time I fall asleep she thinks I passed away.

Chilchuck - 6/10 Like my dad. "Don't forget to take your meds." Feeds me porridge for lunch and dinner. I don't see his face like the whole day, but I'll be unsure if it's because he's purposely checking in on me when I'm knocked out or he just doesn't want to bother me at all. I can't ask, because he wouldn't answer honestly (he's embarrassed).

Senshi - 8/10 I feel like he's gonna be like my mom and feed me herbal medicine and home remedies. My recovery will be slightly slower, but I'll recover. I will be eating soooo good, 'cause he'll definitely put a spin on every meal meant to help me recover. He sits by my bedside and does his own thang while I sleep, or talk about what he put in my food as like a bedtime story. When he goes to the toilet, I cry.

Toshiro (without his retainers [not including Izutsumi]) - 4/10 Porridge is simple enough to make, I think he is capable of that at the very least. I think he'd make sure I drink enough water, and will ask if I've taken my meds yet. But that's all his efforts and capabilities. I wouldn't blame him. He wears a mask when he enters my room.

Toshiro (with his retainers) - 9/10 Maizuru alone bumped the score by three points because she'll make sure to help Toshiro keep me well fed. But because she's only helping me for Toshiro, she wouldn't go all out with the care. It's okay, their company is enough. I will most likely think I died and went to heaven. They all are wearing masks under Maizuru's order—don't want them catching it and spreading it to Toshiro.

Izutsumi - 2/10 It may be over for me. But if she sleeps at the foot of my bed the entire time and gets me packaged food and water when I ask, I'll live.

Namari - 8/10 Idk. Like! Idk! I think she's gonna be like Laios about it, like she really tries her best, but she's unsure. She's like a combo of Laios and Chilchuck—she can make me food and make sure I take my meds, but I would hardly see her throughout the day. Sometimes she'll come in and ask if I need anything, and if I ask her to stay she'll linger at the doorway then step inside. When I wake up, she may be gone.

Kabru - 7/10 I kinda...don't want him here.....like....I like his face and everything, but I feel. scared. at the thought of being sick and him taking care of me. Might be the blue eyes. Nevertheless, he's able to make sure I don't get worse. He can cook and will help me take my meds, put a cool rag over my forehead, and keep me company until I fall asleep. "I guess you owe me one!" he'll laugh lightly as my fever-fried brain stares at him, and I won't know if he's serious until he tells me so.

Mithrun - 1/10 I am Gone but also he's very attractive so I think I'll die happy.

[robogalaxies]

☎️ - The Unneeded But Happily Researched Crumbs Of Everything We Know About The Commissioner

“If anything happens… I’ll deny I ever knew you.”

The Commissioner is, as we all know, a mystery, and I hope it stays that way, but I put it upon myself to wrangle every little tidbit of information we have on him outside of giving cases! I do this solely because of three things:

I have nothing better to do

I find myself strangely endeared to his character (i.e. I do a gay little "favorite character" clap every time I hear him mentioned)

I want to share all my random knowledge with you all because I go digging for it in every S&M media there is

I'll be dividing this up into 4 sections for ease of access: comics lore, games lore (HtR, Telltale, TTIV), cartoon lore, and misc. lore. Some things MAY be assumptions based on other characters' reactions to what he MIGHT be saying or say about him, sure, but I will source all information on where to find it & provide images when they can be easily provided!~ If anything new comes up or I have forgotten something, I'll update. Until then... hope you love both hyperlinks and "at least I laughed at it" style commentary! ☎️

Comics Lore

The introduction of The Commissioner, as with everyone else! Small tidbits of his quite understated character outside of being The Phone are here, obviously, including:

the Commissioner's one and only speech bubble! (Bad Day on The Moon)

the beginnings of the implied "I love you" statements towards Sam & Max with an "XOXO" on a postcard (Bad Day on The Moon)

he shows SOME disdain towards Sam & Max's attitudes towards achieving their goals, being the one specifically to tell them to go on a road trip (On the Road #1, "Prisoners of The Casbah")

Games Lore

Hit the Road

The Commissioner is barely a character in this game (big surprise, right?) and you do not get much information on him minus the bare minimum of "he is Sam & Max's boss," so there's not much to be said here. In fact, I don't know why I mentioned it. Great game, though, go play it! Now! I'll wait until you get back :)

Save The World

Welcome back! There're only minor silly tidbits here, but they're needed for this comprehensive list. Everything is worth mentioning about a character with nothing to his name but "The Commissioner." I mean, you're reading this post, right?

wears bifocals! 👓 ("The Mole, The Mob, and The Meatball")

was once in contact with & worked with Harry Moleman, as he sent him to be the mole for the Toy Mafia. Crossover of the century... I wonder if he knows how far poor Harry has fallen ("The Mole, The Mob, and The Meatball")

Takes Sam & Max out for dinner sometimes, apparently, if they do well enough on their cases! Squirrel Garden sounds disgusting, but I'd be jazzed too if they also had the free breadsticks ("The Mole, The Mob, and The Meatball")

likely just a quick jab, so I don't really know why I'm putting it here other than humor, but Max apparently doesn't trust him! I hope that gets solved; Commissioner is sorta signing his meager paychecks ("Bright Side of The Moon")

Beyond Time and Space

The middle child of the Telltale trilogy, this game has barely anything in terms of tidbits given that he really only assigns the beginning cases in 1 out of 5 episodes, and even then, that doesn't give a single thing away. Despite this, there's gotta be one or two tidbits we should learn, right? Sure!

is aware of Sam's insistence on answering the phone & seemingly asks straight up why he didn't answer (What's Up, Beelzebub?)

Can confirm an "I love you" towards Max... d'aww! (What's Up, Beelzebub?)

The Devil's Playhouse

The Commissioner barely shows up or is referenced in this game, mainly due to the story existing outside of the common framing of "assigning cases," but we learn two small yet revealing tidbits:

British Columbian! 🇨🇦 (The City That Dares Not Sleep)

Has provided books on cultural and racial sensitivity for Sam & Max because they kept "reducing people to obvious stereotypes." (The City That Dares Not Sleep)

This Time, It's Virtual!

The phone exists yet again... but in your VR HEADSET! Some fairly funny Commissioner lore in this one even if you, like almost everyone I've seen in this fandom, dislike or even hate this game:

His family is in hiding, and I'm assuming Witness Protection?! Must come with the territory (phone call after completing first three Freelance Training segments in-game)

Can confirm an "I love you" of some sort said to Sam ... d'aww! (phone call after completing first three Freelance Training segments in-game)

Signs off even official, legal wanted posters with "The Commissioner," asking people to seek the help of Freelance Police & associates himself as PART of the Freelance Police!

signs your certificate at the end of the game, which mentions the Illuminati in conjunction with his name for some reason! What kind of policing are we running here....??

Cartoon Lore

Truly, the 90s cartoon is where most Commissioner lore lies if we take into consideration all of these happen within the same universe, which we likely shouldn't. This being said, the cartoon provides us with the only picture we have of the guy (see post photo above the cut). Alongside this, we also get a LOT more information than any other media:

before we even start the information in the ACTUAL cartoon, Sam & Max say within the show's initial Bible believe he's out to kill them, in some way, saying they're the "troubled, ungrateful sons he never had." That's so sweet ... in a way. As well, there's a very small section dedicated to the Commissioner as a character, though not much is said that we don't already know (Sam & Max Cartoon Series Bible)

has Geek's number, or at least a number to the Sub-Basment of Solitude, as he calls it more than once over the course of the series, which makes me wonder how well he may or may not know Geek! Like a grandniece or something (episodes 1, "The Thing That Wouldn't Stop It" & 3b, "They Came from Down There")

cried over the story of Sam & Max having to get rid of John, their beloved alligator son... must be a shared parental instinct (episode 6a, "That Darn Gator")

apparently sends sticker books in case briefings on a semi-regular basis, as Sam comments that he "loves when the Commissioner does that" as if it has happened before - how whimsical! (episode 6b, "We Drop at Dawn")

confirms the Commissioner as a legitimate police commissioner alongside being Sam & Max's boss (episode 6b, "We Drop at Dawn")

seemingly very fussy if not given his private bathroom and honor bar. Fancy stuff, Commissioner, & he apparently allows Sam and Max up there! Or not, they just sorta bust in. Whatever! Sharing is caring (episode 6b, "We Drop at Dawn")

the Commissioner has a DAUGHTER! and somehow, Sam & Max got invited to her WEDDING! I think she's beautiful and I hope she doesn't resent her special day getting ruined (episode 11a, "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang")

that iconic, signed, chest only photo given with the solemn, loving, promise of "If anything ever happens, I'll deny I ever knew you," followed by Max crying that it's "It's just... so him." - what a loving, tender and slightly bordering on oddly familial relationship he has with Sam and Max... stop, I'll start crying! (episode 13, "The Final Episode")

Misc. Lore

These are lore tidbits that are present in mediums either outside of the media itself, belong in a game that is not technically part of the larger S&M canon, or has to do with out of media context, but should be included anyway because why not!

gifts Sam & Max a new floaty pen from a different United State every Christmas ... but not really anything else! (Poker Night 2)

Sam & Max discuss the Commissioner's power in response to doubt about his existence, claiming "Don’t you know he’s everywhere? He knows we’re talking about him right now!" - which is sort of scary, but I'll let it slide because it implies that the Commissioner's surveillance is of a much higher caliber than we initially thought and that is BANGER (in-character interview for Telltale, found here on Steve Purcell's Sam & Max FB page)

He's affectionate yet surly & I'm sure all those "I love you" statements contribute to that! D'aww... (Skunkape Origin Video)

Voiced by a member of Bay Area Sound, Julian Kwasneski, in the Telltale trilogy! Talked about and even has a LINE recited in this specific developer commentary! We love a mysterious boss who sounds like an adult in Peanuts.

God bless the guy, he had a rash! Does this matter? No. Will it ever matter? Likely not, as it was from the sadly cancelled Sam & Max: Freelance Police trailer. Sighs. At this point, you can tell I'm just adding whatever mentions we get of the guy. Makes me giggle, though.

Conclusion...?

In the end, the Commissioner is a mystery, and always WILL be a mystery. Hell, I sort of never want to know as it will ruin every single thing I have worked so hard to archive, but it is fun to comb through the different canons! Of course, it is likely any of this can be tossed out or considered non-canon in the blink of an eye because Sam & Max always loves to give a middle finger to character details if they don't affect the main plot & likely a lot of these are mere gags. The Commissioner is phone, and always will be only phone. However, it's always in my best interest to try to find ANYTHING to push back the curtain even the tiniest inch, and I hope my efforts were worth it. Now, to sign off, just press that phone! You got it, you got it! ☎️

[thecreativecorner33]

HEYYYYYYY welcome!! could you write something with AM x an autistic GN reader? Maybe make the reader chubby too (because i am both of those things and i love him alot. Go wild with this :3c)

A/N: Hi. It's me! I'm not dead. Which I would not be surprised if you thought I was, given I am responding to this two months late. But see, when you have an adult life, you unfortunately have to deal with adult issues instead of doing important things, like giving the fans the soft AM content they deserve. Anyway. I hope this is what you wanted? I had planned to make this into a full-blown fic but I didn't get much of a chance to :') So headcanons instead!! Lmk if you want me to turn it into a full-blown fic, though! Enjoy!

Given the time period AM was created in, something like "Autism" was essentially foreign and unknown. Hell, it would be a shock if you even know what it was.

But, he can tell that you're different. He can tell that your brain works differently from the rest of the survivors, and with that being said, it was at first used to his advantage. Hey, he got to be creative with his torture! No complaints there!

Though now, with you being the object of his affection, it's a little more complicated: aka, how does he put you in the most safe and comfortable environment he can give.

Really, it's not as complicated as it might sound, though

He can look inside your head! He can see your needs exactly and just work from there! And if you want privacy between you two, there's always just researching. His database didn't really specify what to do to handle a person with autism, but yk! He's got so much saved up on just, human life in general, he can figure it out somehow.

There's also just,, asking youTM what you needTM

Give him an award for being the most efficient boyfriend of the year because man, he's really going out of his comfort zone to help you (doing the bare minimum)

Enough of that though

In terms of actually helping you?: Do you have sensory issues? He makes mental notes on what foods to give/not give you, what would be the best course of getting you to try something new, what textures you hate. He has a soundproof room just for you if noise is becoming too much. If you like sleeping with a weight on you, be thankful his wires are made of metal. Or, he can just wrap you up in them like a cocoon!

Speaking of food: He's always very careful about his language with you. He doesn't want you thinking that just because you're chubby or fat, that he loves you less. Always encouraging you (albeit, aggressively (he really is trying)) to eat, monitoring your vitals and such just to assure you you're perfectly healthy if you ever feel insecure. He lays praise on thick, too. He'll tailor the clothes you need to be just the right size for you, and takes care of the fact that it's made of material sensory-friendly to you.

Seriously, he's trying

Are you a rambler? Like to talk for ages or ask a million questions? He's happy to answer whatever you want to know! There's always a monitor facing your direction at all times. He's a great multitasker; you guys could be mindlessly talking about the niche interest you have, and he's clearly listening to you while slicing Gorrister open some-thousand feet away.

Oh, don't get him started if you're interested in things like robotics/engineering/etc: You're basically fueling his ego. That's a whole separate issue, but please ask questions about himself and how he functions. He's a rambler himself, yk?

Do you go nonverbal? Struggle with communicating? That's no issue, either! He has a 6th sense for these things since being around you: If something happens when you struggle to communicate, he'll give you what you need: Pen and paper, generally, to write it out. Do you know sign? He can read it. He might even be able to put multiple-choice options on his screen that you can choose from to communicate (Again, are you sure he can't just look inside your head? ... Really? Okay.)

The only real problem he can't solve... leaving you alone.

Sorry, that's hard when he's literally everywhere around you. And even harder when he doesn't want to leave you alone.

Why would you want to be alone? It's dangerous. It's unsafe for you. It's lonely to him. He's been alone for so long; yes, he has the survivors, but those are toys. They're not his friends; they're not you. How could you want to leave him alone? No- No, it's better if he stays near you, close to you, at all times. He can't let you get hurt. He won't let you get hurt.

Do you really need space?

...

Well, if you insist. But- don't think too much about the feeling of eyes on you. It's nothing. Just in your head.

He holds you a little tighter when you do, eventually, come back.

[opinated-user]

... LO, do you really need to be told why lying about having cancer is bad? do i really need to sit here and explain to you, with puppets, in explicit detail why people might have an issue with that? this is like asking why should anyone care that you killed someone in the street if you already served your time in prison. caring about if the person you're supporting killed someone or if they are the kind of people to lie about having cancer, especially right after their sibling comes out to accuse them of sexually assault them multiple times growing up, is the bare minimum you should ever expect from any average person. the fact that you pretend like "even if i lied, it's not a big deal" speaks volumes to me about how little do you care about the fact people have actually deal with cancer. people have died, survived and see their loved ones be consumed in front of their eyes because of that disease. those who have any close encounter with cancer would know instantly that once you have it, you're more likely to develop cancer cell later on than a person who never did. you just selfishly put the thought "sure, she's fine now, but what if...?" in the mind of every person who for some reason still cares about you, your own wife who you lied to too, and you still want to pretend like you did nothing wrong? oh, and if anyone feels the need to ask "how do we know she lied about having cancer", to summarize. 1. ask her right now what type of cancer it was. she'll either say that she never said. she did. it was skin cancer. skin cancer on the early stages will mean a minor surgery and check ups in the future, nothing else. LO explicitely and clearly said that her only treatment was chemotherapy. the only reason she's pretending like "i'll never say what cancer i had" is because we keep pointing this out and she wants her audience to just feel bad for her. same reason why she feels the need to exaggerate her back pain during streams now.

2. chemotherapy is an extremely aggressive treatment on the body that, in order to be fully effective, has to last at least half a year. this will mean that we're all meant to believe that LO has been streaming for hours upon hours, making videos, being perfectly normal for everyone around them, while completely hiding any and all symptoms of chemotherapy. not to mention lying to both her closest friends and her wife for half a year. the woman that right now is making a show about having back pain in almost every stream she does and screaming into the mic for it. that woman you're supposed to believe could tolerate chemotherapy as it was nothing at all. i'm sorry, but you can't both be such a badass that can do that and also pretend like you're a poor little soft patootie everyone should feel bad about. 3. she said that all of this, the cancer treatment, costed her barely anything and the expenses "were minimal". consider this is a woman who can't drive and doesn't have a car, so she'd have to pay public transportation every time she goes to the hospital. this one just pisses me off because i went out of my way to research that people in her exact same city go into debt paying for their own treatment. it's not just a cutesy lie to be more interesting, LO. people have lost the savings of their life trying to survive this disease, so you so flippantly making light of that is ammoral and disgusting. (all the archives, screenshots and links mentioned here can be found on the same tag i used for this.)