im not the biggest alhaitham/kaveh shipper (because im a rare pair ho) but it seems to me that in alhaitham/kaveh getting-together fics tend to be... unequal.
the beautiful thing about alhaitham and kaveh is that they're both equally right and equally wrong and equally dicks about it. but the writers for alhaitham/kaveh much more frequently seem to give alhaitham the burden change (the burden of the character flaw) instead of kaveh.
in any good character arc, the main character has a fatal flaw or misconception, and by the end of that arc they have addressed that flaw in some definitive way. scrooge was a scrooge and learned that being that way was detrimental; merlin from finding nemo was overprotective to a fault and had to learn that he couldn't (and shouldn't) control everything and to let go; the wolf from little red riding hood learns that you should stop while you're ahead.
stories centering around romance tend to lean heavily on character arcs, which makes sense. and since romance generally requires two individuals to be vulnerable and open and emotional with each other, it makes double sense that alhaitham/kaveh authors zoom straight into alhaitham's lack of emotional vulnerability.
this bothers me.
in society, individuals are expected to experience and present emotions in a specific way. if someone dies, you cry. if someone smiles at you, you smile back. if you're at a party, you're supposed to be having fun. if you don't do these things, you're seen as impolite at best and a inhuman freak at worst. when these behaviors are frequent it's often viewed as emotional immaturity, or a lack of ability to feel at all. the inability or lack of willingness to conform to societies emotional expectations of you is seen as a flaw and a reason for exclusion.
alhaitham is canonically disliked and avoided for being the way he is. he prefers it this way, but that doesn't mean the people perpetuating this avoidance are in the right. they are the societal pressure to conform that alhaitham blows off. alhaitham could be the way he is for a lot of reasons: avoidant attachment style, trauma, following someone else's example (eg. his grandmother), or just his base personality. it doesn't MATTER. he is the way he is. kaveh having to accept that should be part of the story.
putting the burden of the fatal flaw on alhaitham, making the way alhaitham treats kaveh and the people around him the problem, feels invalidating. it implies heavily that alhaitham's way of interfacing with the world, alhaitham's very SELF, is incorrect. my suggestion is to flip a larger portion of that burden onto kaveh. kaveh 👏 character 👏 arcs 👏
some examples/recommendations:
- make kaveh project his insecurities onto other people but especially onto alhaitham; he's overly reliant on other people for his own self worth, and he perceives alhaitham's lack of positive feedback as a direct reflection of how alhaitham feels about him. but learns along the way that alhaitham doesn't hate him, kaveh's actual struggle is with hating himself and being unable to his own self as worthy of love. maybe throw in how you are responsible for your own recovery, other people can help but you can't rely on them to carry you through self actualization.
- or, kaveh tries to make alhaitham behave more like a "normal" person, to be more pleasant and emotive and forthcoming, and then realizes he's in the wrong for trying to make alhaitham into something he's not, possibly for all the wrong reasons (not because he likes alhaitham better like that, but bc society says that's healthier and a better/more conforming way to be)
- or you could go ahead make alhaitham's issues the main problem but they're too complicated to overcome in a short period of time, so kaveh has to accept alhaitham is doing his best in his own way and not push for unrealistic and unhealthy changes. he could alter his own behavior to give alhaitham space and time and a safe place to land.
that got sappy so it's past time for me to dip out. go forth and ship things; but maybe consider letting alhaitham be a rude stone-faced bastard if he wants to be.
97 notes
·
View notes
Dating Jonathan Ohnn/The Spot Headcanons
Okay, so when I write jonathan/spot I'm keeping it close to what we have seen and the general vibe from him but also how im interpreting him so here is what I headcanon dating him like and a bit of him in general!!
-
Jonathan Ohnn:
Jonathan Ohnn is awkward by default. While there are moments where’s confident, around you, he falls back to feeling young. All he wants to do is impress you, but when he stumbles and can’t find the right words to compliment you, he’s feeling warm all over himself. He’s a tall man with broad shoulders, and he hardly ever stands to his full height. When working, he’s usually found hunched over, and it’s starting to translate whenever he does any errands. You always reprimand him, your hand on the curve of his back as you tell him to stand straight. He smiles apologetically and for the next few minutes will walk upright until he’s back to his usual position. You hardly have the heart to tell him to stand up straight up again, so you hold onto his arm, walking beside him.
Most people would assume he is closed off and stoic, but he’s the opposite. He’s a rather emotional person. He’s able to hide it well for the most part. He isn’t afraid to let his emotions show when he’s feeling a certain type of way. He’s expressive, and it is usually the most prominent when he’s jealous. His face will twist into a scowl, and he’ll hold you close to him, hovering above you. When he speaks, it’s sharp and insulting to the other person- it’s probably one of the few times that you ever do get nervous because of him. He’s a smart man that won't do something that will get him into serious trouble, but he’s emotional and volatile. On the other side of the spectrum, he’s also one to look at you as if you painted the stars and the moon onto the sky, as if you’re holding the sky with your hands. He can never really hide his emotions from you- maybe it’s because the two of you are so intimate, but it’s like you can read him like an open book, like he wears his heart on his sleeve despite the walls that he tried to put up.
It’s not all the time that the scientist is direct, but for the most part he is when he’s around you. He tells you things as if it’s the most common knowledge with no room for debate to be held with him. He’ll tell you that you’re pretty, and that he likes it when you laugh, that it sounds sweet. He’ll mention how he cares for you, terribly so, and while holding your hand in his, and he’s tracing over your knuckles, telling you that he hopes that he gets to have a long and happy life with you. When your hand tightens around his, he’s brought back to reality, and he’s clearing his throat, unsure of where to look. He can tell you how he never wants to part from you, how you look so pretty under the sun, but he can never tell you that if you just asked, he’d drop everything and run away with you, that he’d want to be with you, that you’re the only one for him, that no one else can compare.
If he had to choose a favorite activity, it’s just being next to you. He doesn’t need anything more. He finds himself thinking that he has to be with you, needing to be next to you, wanting to know that you also want the same as he does. He’s desperately into you, needing you like he needs air, like air is a second thought to him, that as long as he has you, that’s enough. In the beginning of the relationship, he’d hold you at night, letting his arm fall asleep under your weight, brushing his nose along your cheek, and pressing a kiss where he touched. A thought made itself known to him that he wouldn’t want to leave you, not willingly. In the late nights that you two shared, where you called his name and kissed his lips, he could only picture you with him in the future. He holds your hand in his when you’re asleep, and he presses his palm against yours, and he knows that to keep himself sane, he needs to be with you, that to deprived him of you would be torturous. He hopes that you feel the same.
Work is a bit of a distance for the both of you to have a shared lunch together. On top of that, he doesn’t want you around Alchemax. He’d much prefer it if you stayed as far away from it as possible. If you ask about his day, he always gives you the most vague answers. If he can prevent you from knowing what it is that he is working on, he will. Every answer that he tells you about what he’s working on is from old projects, articles that he’s read, stolen ideas from the other scientists. He never wants you to mix with his work- no matter how draining it is for him.
Arguments are far and few between, but when they do happen, they tend to be loud and upsetting for both parties. Words slip without meaning to, and seeing the other quiet and look away with tears in their eyes, makes the fight stop. Working late nights and having to worry about being caught or something going wrong when that cannot happen, makes him irritable. He grows frustrated and snaps easily, and the few hours that he does get to rest are not enough. He doesn’t mean to snap, and always one to defend yourself, an argument will break out. Sometimes a fight will be resolved after one of you walks away to cool down, sometimes it takes the whole day for either of you two to speak to each other, pride often getting in the way. However, he hates being upset with you. You’re something good in his life, and he hates it when you won’t kiss him goodnight. So he’ll swallow his pride and apologize to you with his arms wrapping around you, kissing the top of your head.
While he isn’t unattractive by any means, and his quirks have their own charms, it doesn’t stop him from being insecure in the relationship. Whenever the two of you are in public, he feels the need to hold your hand to show to others that you’re taken, and that he’s right there. He’s never been one to take control in a relationship, and most flickered out fairly quickly, so when you both last longer than any of the ones before, he gets a bit freaked out in wondering what’s keeping you around. At night, when you're sleeping beside him, he’ll sit in bed and stare at you, and wonder what it is that attracted you to him. It must have been something, but he doesn’t know what it is and if he only knew, then maybe he could keep at it- maybe he could keep you.
Maybe because he doesn’t know what keeps you around, and he feels that at any minute, you’d leave, he resorts to buying you things. Nothing too lavish- nothing that would make you wonder where he was getting the money to pay for such ornate accessories. He will buy you small things- your favorite snack, a set of food containers that you held and remarked at how cute they were, or a mug decorated with your favorite character. It’s all enough, and it is never enough. He loves seeing your smile, and feels his chest swell in pride when you use any of the things he’s gotten you. Whatever it is that you want, he’ll get it for you, just to see you smile up at him. You always seem to return the favor even if he isn’t all that materialistic like you are. It’s little things that you gift him- a folder for his files, a mug that he only uses at home, a shirt that he’ll wear and keep even if the threads start to peek, a pen that he keeps clipped onto his coat.
His lips will press against the corner of your lips or your hand when out in public, he isn’t the biggest fan of public displays of affection unless he’s feeling particularly possessive. However, behind closed doors, he is a very affectionate person. He loves to wrap his arms around you and rest his head on your shoulder whenever he gets the chance. He loves the warm feeling that you start in his chest. If he could, he’d find some way to bottle it forever. He likes to be near you, even if the two of you are doing your own thing and not speaking, knowing that he could glance over and see you, is more than enough. It’s silly and he’d never admit it to anyone- especially you- but he hates not having you near him when at work. He was never a fan of pictures, but if you’re in the frame, he’s lifting the camera to capture the both of you in a moment of stillness. He sets the picture as his phone background. During work hours, if he’s not messaging you, he’s looking at the background, enraptured by your smile.
Jonathan beams under your affection. Will smile softly when he lays his head in your lap and feels your hand begin to thread through his hair and scratch at his scalp. After a long day, he melts under your touch, humming when you twist a pinch of his hair around your finger. He’ll hide his face in the soft plush of your stomach, where you can see the corner of his lips stretched in a wide grin. When you kiss him, you sometimes pepper them all over his face, and he smiles, leaning in to try to kiss you. His face grows warm under your hands as you cup his face, with half-lidded eyes, he blinks at every kiss you press against his face. They’re feathery and soft. Every press of your lips against his face has him leaning into your touch. When you kiss at his moles, he feels himself smile, and hides himself into your palm, laughing when you coo at him to turn around.
The Spot:
After transforming into The Spot, he’s much more clingy than he was previously. When you happen to be home, he’ll give you time to relax and decompress from your work. However, once enough time has passed by, he’ll sit beside you and stretch over you. He misses you terribly throughout the day- your text messages are a clear proof of that. Plus, it’s not as if you could blame him. He’s stuck at home all day with only you to talk to, he’s grown heavily dependent on you.
The incident messed him up- it ruined so much of his life. Without you, he’d be without a purpose, without anyone being there to ground him through his panic attacks and depressive episodes. He needs to hear from you, needs to remember that you do still care for him no matter what he looks like. There’s always going to be a part of him that’s terrified of knowing what you think of him. He saw it on your face when he first came by- fear, shock, pity. He isn’t sure what was worse, but then you cried, and you held him. There are times where you’ll kiss at a white space, and he’s fisting his hand together to restrain himself from asking for more. He can’t be greedy- not when he looks the way that he does.
If arguments were few and far in between before he turned out the way that he is, they rarely exist now. He never wants to give you a reason to kick him out. He’ll take a house husband role and clean and cook, and do whatever it is that needs to be done around the house. In the beginning, he acted more as a guest rather than a partner. He made himself small, didn’t eat too much of the food that you brought, he’d shower when you’d leave and would sleep on the couch. Fear kept him on a leash, and he believed that maybe if you didn’t see so much of him, then you wouldn’t leave him when the time came. Whatever it is that you would have asked him to do, he would do a damn good job to prove that he could still be of some use to you. A part of him kept waiting for you to leave him like everyone else had, and when you’d invite him to sleep in your bed, sit down and have dinner with you, shower with you- he was engulfed with waves of emotion. You really did want him to be part of your life, you didn’t want a house guest, you wanted a partner, you wanted him.
You’ll leave your phone unattended, and he’s tempted to look through your messages, to find out what you really think of him. Are you planning to leave him? Are you talking to someone else? Are you making fun of him behind his back as he lays in your bed? He never looks through your phone. He can’t bear what the ugly truth of it might be. Out of all the possibilities, he’d rather take your word that you don't mind him as he is now. You’re the one who goes shopping for the necessities for obvious reasons, and each time you leave through the door, there’s always something heavy in him that tells him that you aren’t going to come back. He waits and waits, and time ticks on slowly as if to mock him, and he’s waiting and waiting. His spots swirl and congest at certain parts of him as his anxiety increases. After sending you a quick text message, you reply immediately- always. And yet, it still isn’t enough. He must annoy you, but he can’t help it. Pressing your contact button, he’ll call you, and he must sound panicked, because you speak quietly, telling him what you’re doing and asking what he’s doing- you ground him. When you come home, he hovers over you and lays his head on your chest, wrapping his arms tightly around you.
He never wants you to let go of him. He’ll rest his head on your lap, and even if you can’t play with his hair, you still let your nails scratch over him. It’s during these moments, that you let your hands wander, the pads of your fingertips ghosting over him, teasing at his holes, before swiping down and tracing patterns over the white. You like to look at his face hole a lot is what he’s noticed. You’ve told him that even without facial features, he’s still so expressive. His body has been stretched, limbs pulled and torso compressed and while he’s always been soft, it’s much more apparent now. He’ll squirm under your gaze, and make a high-pitched noise when your hand curves over his stomach. Placing kisses over him makes his gasp for breath, especially when you interlace your hand with his and kiss where his moles used to be.
When he first arrived at your place, he was terrified of what you’d think of him. He’d never admit that he feared that you would be like everyone else and turn him away, but you didn’t. For as long as he’ll live, he’ll always try to repay you for your kindness. He can’t take you to dinners, or buy you things, but he can certainly peek into places afterhours. He can pop into places and grab something that he’s sure you’re going to like. For a while, he can lie and say that he had gfs saved up for you, but you start to catch on when reports of robberies start to have their own section in the local news. You give him a pointed look, and he looks the other way, fiddling with one of his holes.
It took a minute for him to get used to your fascination with him. A part of him thought it was some kink thing but when you gasp in fake-offense and shove him, he comes to the conclusion that it isn’t some kink thing. His arm will be outstretched towards you, and you’ll rim the edge of the spot with your finger. If you ever want to dip your finger into one of his holes, he’d rather you tell him first. He doesn’t have complete control over where a hole will pop up and doesn’t know the exact limitations of it, so he worries that he’ll cause some freak accident with you there. When you two cuddle together, and you want something from the kitchen, he’ll make a hole and reach what you want. It doesn’t always go smoothly, but it’s the thought that counts. You’re sure at one point, you saw the inside of a convenience store, but with the plethora of snacks, you chose not to comment, and acted blissfully ignorant when an article of stolen goods popped up.
Due to being lonely and having an immense amount of time to himself, he is much chattier than he was before. He’ll ramble and go on for hours about any of the series that he’s watching. At this point, it’s like you’ve already watched it yourself. He’ll talk about the symbolism and parallels that the characters share, about the use of color, and how things are in reference to another one of the director’s works. It’s nice to see him so animated about something. It’s during his ramblings that his holes will vary in size and numbers. The more emotional he is, the more that they appear, and sometimes, you’ll see one appear under a cup and drop it elsewhere. You’ve been lucky so far that the cups are empty and always land in something soft.
It’s no surprise that he’d rather not step out into public. You’re the one to do the errands and he feels bad that he can’t pull his own weight, but you always reassure him that being there is enough- more than enough. At one point, work must have taken its toll, because you come in near tears, exhausted with the clients and co-workers. You mention how one customer was particularly awful, and he holds you, running his hand up and down your back, trying to comfort you. He can’t be seen out in public with you- he fears what will happen if people know where he’s been hiding out- but he can pop in on others, and make sure that you aren’t bothered again. It’s moments like these where he’s so focused, mind swirling and reflecting on his spots, and there’s precision and accuracy on where he wants spots to appear and reappear. He never wants you to find out about what he’s doing, so he makes sure that the person can’t recount the events and that when they’re found, it looks like they fell down the stairs, body crumpled and bent in ways that can’t be explained. The next day, he makes you breakfast.
It’s not rare to find you in one of his old shirts. Jonathan hardly ever uses them as of late, despite your claims that he should wear something considering he’s just in his skin and practically naked. He never really listens to your claims- it isn’t as if you haven’t seen him naked before, he’s even made himself decent by hiding his shaft. His old clothing might as well get some use, and it makes him feel warm that you still wear his things- it really cements the fact that you still want him. You pull the oversized button up over a plain shirt, and call it fashion, and who is he to argue with your obviously correct statements. There’s something nice about him waking up to you wearing one of his shirts as you cook breakfast, the soft blue color and white spots, making him linger at the doorway. In the time leading up to everything, he had never thought that his life would turn this way- die by an explosion seemed so much more plausible than him becoming what he is. And now, he sits in your shared home, his body pure white and dotted with black spots, and with you, your head on his lap and his nodding off to sleep as you both watch a movie.
1K notes
·
View notes