#all I'm doing now is just rp
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Man I miss when my mutuals and I would interact
#not a reblog#personal#all I'm doing now is just rp#and now whenever someone tries to interact with me outside of it I get all awkward bc I feel like they didn't mean to talk to me#I feel like a ghost#anyway if you're a mutual and you're reading this. no you're not. don't percieve me#I'm self aware and I know I could easily solve this problem by bejng more active#but alas#the demons (BPD + chronic fatigue) say otherwise#disregard this posthaste#I am but a simple man being melodramatic
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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Bingqiu is so funny to me like,,, you have sexy man turned into an idea of a tumblr sexyman and uh, some guy that watches instagram reels bc “he could never be a TikTok user”
Asdfghjkl that's exactly what they are. No wonder they're so popular on tumblr XD. Sqq is that one reddit user who swears every week that he's leaving this toxic hole for good and you know you'll find him mere hours later arguing pedantry on some incredibly niche sub reddit.
And he's somehow gay married to a guy who underwent an irl sans verse swap with his evil version. Who is his 'I can fix him' blorbo. His poor little meow meow. Lbh would have an aesthetic tradwife account, you know the ones where there's some scandal about them actually being insanely rich and in some weird marriage? That's him. His recording room that looks like an offshoot of a small cosy traditional cottage is actually a renovated spare room in his palace quarters.
They're that one meme about their braincells cancelling each other out. They're so stupid I love them.
Thanks for the ask :D!
#Ngl bingqiu is one of those ships that had to grow on me but they did and now I'm here lol#Imagining an au where nothing changes but the world has socmed the whole time. Modern xianxia??#Like they have more modern governments and wildlife reserves and restaurant personality accounts and w/e but it's still swords n stuff#Cultivators are discouraged from socmed as part of the general jianghu separation thing but all the big fish have at least one as a#Matter of PR. Like Yqy and opm trying not to have twitter beef. Lmy is a booktok influencer on the side#This changes nothing about the plot to be clear. This is explicitly so the average mortal can experience the scandal of that one cooking#Channel turning out to be the WHOLE ENTIRE DEMON EMPEROR doing some weird rp (he's not he just genuinely likes cooking)#Sqq's scandals and deaths would be even hotter gossip lmao. Incredibly divisive.#svsss#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#bingqiu#I don't know if I got sidetracked or not lol#ask#answered#answered asks
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Sam: "Look at me. Hey- look at me a second. I know. I know you're tough. I know how strong you are. You have every right to be proud of that. But being able to handle somethin' doesn't mean you should have to. Least of all when I'm right here trying to help. Please let me help. If not for you then for me, because I don't like knowin' you're hurtin', especially when there's somethin' I can do about it."
Me, shaking my head, fighting back literal tears: "B-but it's gonna give you another headache!"
#redacted sam#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted fandom#[Sam's name doubles as a link to the specific lines i quoted btw. just for full credit/transparency & for anyone who wants to (re)listen]#Sam's deep-seated need to heal vs my inability to accept help would be a battle for the ages. unstoppable force vs immovable object#wait Sam already mentioned the force vs object thing to David during the inversion didn't he lmao 'they call /me/ Immovable Object'#he does suit Immovable a little more than Unstoppable i guess. i mean he can def be both imo but ykwim. anyways i digress#listen. i'm not a Marriage kinda guy. but good god the way some of Sam's lines make me wanna take a fucking knee and propose#i'm love him ur honor. he is comfort incarnate#can't believe i waited so long to listen to the Valentines Vampire Attack audio. it's got so much of that sweet sweet hurt/comfort#very reminiscent of their 2nd audio given all the healing he does for them & the consent checks before moving clothing and whatnot#which makes it a top favorite for me bc that's probably my most replayed Sam audio. and the one that initially hooked me#i didn't put off listening to it bc i thought i Wouldn't like it btw i just procrastinate everything for no real reason#listening to it now tho actually worked out well bc i could uh. definitely use it. so maybe i was subconsciously saving it for hard times#this post isn't a joke btw it really does hurt to hear him put himself in pain for the sake of healing Darlin' :(((#anD PAINKILLERS DON'T EVEN WORK ON HIM!!! ough man i would struggle so hard to accept his healing if i were in Darlin's shoes#like yeah there's other reasons i'd struggle to accept it too but him being in pain as a result would be one of 'em. the Guilt bro i can't#rp audio stuff#Seven.txt#(Seven blorbo-posting at 2am when they should either be doing something productive or sleeping?? more likely than you might think)
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coloring and shading practice
#secret life smp#trafficblr#geminitay#goodtimeswithscar#ldshadowlady#life series#you can pinpoint the exact moment where i was getting infuriated#i'm not happy at all with gems one mainly bc of how badly the hair color and the skin color clashes#but i fucked up with fixing it so now its just. like that#but yknow what. hey whatever#i'm gonna do the life series players template currently going around so hopefully i'll do better with that#am i sticking to this kind of shading style? possibly!#i mean its kinda going well#and i actually liked how lizzie and scar turned out#the magpie on lizzie is inspired by what someone said in a life series rp server i'm in#evangenny art
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#// depression and anxiety and adhd and being on the spectrum is so much fun#// because right now not only do i feel like a shitty person but like a shitty rp partner as well#// and like i'm alienated from the whole fandom#// the little social outcast from highschool everybody bullies and those are not fun memories#// because there's people having such wonderful things going and conversations and all and i want that too but social anxiety is a bitch#// and i know that there's nobody out to get me or has anything against me but my mind's just in the gutter#// not to mention that it feels like everything i write is so damn out of character and that peoiple lose interest because of it#// which is why i've been taking a break from tumblr with the occasional attempt to spark the muse but nothing works#// and i don't know what to do anymore#𝐫𝐡𝐞𝐚'𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ― out of character
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#not my place to say because i have no clue what's happening and don't involve myself in any of this but like.#it really does make the fandom experience worse when the only thing people are absorbed in is drama.#i feel very isolated from everyone rn and it's making it very hard to be online#no matter where you stand it's isolating and it sucks. feels like everyone is bonding over gossip that i truly Do Not Care About#and i'm just. sadtoad.jpeg#(not that i don't care about my friends getting bullied or anything!!!)#(this isn't even a vague this is about fandom issues that have Always Existed)#(it just feels like i stay in my lane and anytime i veer out of it i'm bombarded with crazy bullshit LOL)#i miss my friends and my rp partners and i just asfdajdgfasvjd i'm having a hard time being here rn#anyway if you made it to the end of this vent this is all to say: SORRY I'M NOT WRITING AND SORRY I'M NOT ON DISCORD LMAO#tua s4 ruined my life and now i'm trying to get away from vagueposts and bullshit and i just. I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT i'm sorry#*【 ❛I'm not the spirit of any age. ❜ 】 ➤ OOC
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alright. know what? with Secrets of the Obscure right around the corner and plenty of new Mists-related sky island settings coming with it, I'll just bite the bullet and interest-check a little something I've been turning in my head for a long, long while.
would YOU be interested in a Mists-based GW2 roleplay guild that uses a lore compliant multiverse system to allow canon, canon-adjacent, lore-breaking, and otherwise 'contradictory' muses to coexist in the same setting?
simply put: every writer's cast would be set in their own self-contained universe. as such, everyone could bring whatever muses they want with their own personal headcanons, and no one could dictate what is or isn't canon for anyone else. so long as your muses are GW2-based, you're good to go! bring your Commanders, bring your canon-divergent OCs, bring your canon muses-- and yes, even the ones that are 'supposed' to be dead. who can say what might have happened in a strange world far across the Mists, after all?
neutral hubs and in-character safety guardrails would be in place to keep all muses on a relatively even playing field regardless of their power, history, and prestige, too. play hardball if you like, but it might not end quite the way you'd hope. the main rule would be to maintain good OOC etiquette at all times: no godmodding, no metagaming, no theft, don't blend IC and OOC, and so-on.
if that sounds like something you might have interest in, please interact with this post! and if you've got questions or concerns, I'd love to hear them; feel free to send an ask or a DM, or just reply to this post!
#GW2 roleplay#GW2 rp#GW2#my posts#so there's a LOT of reasons why I'm putting this forward#but the biggest is that I really want there to be a place that's actually inclusive for all the creativity that exists in this fandom#there was exactly one Mists multiverse event a while back and it was well-received from everything I saw!#i know i for one had a lot of fun AND felt a lot more welcome and comfortable than i have at any other event#and then... we proceeded to just never have another again.#like. we could have more of that. that niche could still use filling! we can do SO much more with this!!!#and especially with SotO coming out we could have some REALLY interesting locations to meet up too!#I'd be happy to kickstart this stuff but the thing is: it WILL need support. I just can't do it all alone and that's a fact#example: if we want a guild hall in-game we'd have to work together to get one; that'd be great for hosting public and private events#my personal goal is 5-10 participants so that we can have enough to run small events and mingle muses a bit#IF there's enough interest i'll roll out more information at that time. for now tho i'll just leave it at this to test the waters#reblogs are HIGHLY appreciate here: i'm a smallfry in a big sea and not many people check the tags. spread the word if you want to see this#on that note: thanks for reading and hopefully i'll hear from some of you soon. o/#(side detail: that sky pic is a screen i snapped at night in Istan. it's so pretty there ok)
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can i just be emotional on main for a sec & thank y'all again for sticking with me & supporting my weird little brand here these last few months while i've been like. worse than ever about getting any writing done? just like. hhh. all of u putting up with my shitposts & liking the hcs and whatever else i shove out onto the dash while i'm struggling with energy for replies, and everyone who still wants to plot & develop our dynamics despite me being the WORST at keeping up with dms (& being somehow even worse at being the one to actually initiate dms), and!!!! those of you who continue to indulge me by sending me asks despite the fact that you've been waiting 5 years for me to reply to our thread!!! i appreciate u guys sm, like i don't think u actually understand just how much. i mean this so sincerely: thank you
#writing & chatting with u guys and just shoving our characters together is one of the few things in my life rn that still brings me joy#so it's been really infuriating to be having such a hard time doing it#and that fear of people losing interest or getting bored or annoyed w me because of that struggle doesn't exactly help#it's something i'm working to overcome bc i KNOW those of u who matter are the ones who'll continue to stick around but ajshkfds#idk i've been wading through the existential dread these last few days trying to avoid succumbing to it again & dumb little rp things are#part of what help keep me going. so just like. yeah. thank u sm ;A;#a special shoutout to my newer mutuals too for joining me at a weird time & still sticking around to engage w me despite my slowness#i'm v excited about all of the new dynamics we're building or will eventually build ;u; ♡#anyway. i'll shut up now. sorry for all the blabbering i'm just emotional today and wanted to express my gratitude to all of u ♡♡♡#wanna try to write at some point today but idk if it'll happen or not. we'll see ;~;#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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( waking up one morning after 18 months of hiatus and finally getting the spark™ to freshen up ur rp blog )
#( war is oveeeer )#( time passes but my love for rp is like a little gremlin that randomly shows up and beats me with its lil bat )#( I'm still stuggling with art block for my other creative outlets for months now but I want to warm up my writing fingers )#FOR ALL ( ooc. )#FOR ALL ( tbd. )#( pretty sure I've been going through the worst burn out of my life and im just now seeing the end of the tunnel )#( had to face and address basically everything in my life ever so my brain just decided to go into low battery mode for awhile )#( it's odd cause not much about my life is significantly different from when I left -unfortunately-#but I have also developed and changed so much as a person. ppl around me say that and it's so reassuring to hear <3 )#( also lmao apparently I was pretty Vitamin D deficient esp in Canadian winters and APPARENTLY have a genetic calcium deficiency so UHHHHH#I love being medically neglected and gaslit into believing I just had anxiety and depression with no physical contributors <33#that's being taken care of now tho. but yeah ugh that was something to process too.)#That aside I've been doing well!! I'm in such a different place now it's kind of wild. Always a work in progress but im happy <3#Have some goals I'd like to meet for the end of the year so I'm hoping to close out these two years on a good note!
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while i'm on my bullshit, I want to extend a special 'fuck you' to whoever it was on the Larian team that made the companions nicer and propped one up over the others. Give me Bitch!Shadowheart back, I want Sassy!OG!Wyll, where is MEANER Lae'zel, put Astarion back in the pod I don't like his 'knife to the throat' introduction, Give Minthara's extra scenes and snipped dialogue back - remember she had TWO sex scenes. WHY are we treating the ORIGINAL script like its some sort of taboo thing that needs to be repulsed.
#[ 🕷️ ] —— out of character#[ I swear to God if I see one more person say 'oh this was cut cause it was an old line' Im going to tell them to fuck off ]#[ since when are ORIGINAL lines bad? I WANT the original shit ]#[ la*rian stop doing major updates where you're revamping a whole game that wasn't even complete when you released it challenge ]#[ stop babying ONE companion over the other- no offense my as*tarion fan mutuals but goddamn ]#[ I just learned the other day his origin has so much extra shit in it and now I blame this guy for why ]#[ all of the other companion and shite are neglected and glitched to hell or lacking ]#[ ASTA*rion rpers save me I'm this close to hating your boy outside of RP because of general fandom and l*rian favoritism ]#[ and BECAUSE I like you my as*tar*ion peeps I will make a special tag for YOU when I btich about him because o Boy am I gonna start soon ]#[ thing is you have to ask me to do it ]
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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The embarrassment I get from noticing I've had a typo in a response is so fucking real, just sat here for ten minutes laughing to myself with my face in my hands because I wrote 'sausagers' rather than sausages in a previous response.
#ooc || the birb speaks#Just knowing my rp partner saw that? Crime#And yes I know I'm now showing it to all of you but that'd different because I'm doing it willingly idk brains be weird
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ehhh might as well make a post. i don't really about the cc anymore, i only care about the rp characters of the dsmp. won't stop posting that, but. honestly might start posting more empires and such (i've got a few e1 gem fics i might post soon, since currently i only shared to friends and as part of a zine app) but. yea. still into mcyt, but honestly i've given up really caring about primarily being in one fandom, and i'm switching gears a bit cause i'm just sick of bad shit happening.
#void echos#tbh i. honestly do not want to support that guy anymore currently. unless it comes out as he's innocent or some shit which idk if i'll be#comfy even then?? idk this stuff just. fucks with me.#assume i'm talking about the rp character. all these characters are my lil guys now
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#╳┆ dayne speaking ┆◜ ooc ◞#just realized I don't rp any lesbian ships....#this is a crime#(guy who mostly rps cis men) (guy who hcs all non cis men muses as aroace)#what do u want from me....#sry I can't be Her </3#but fr why are most of my ships straight. whaT the fuck. what the fuck.#(the “straight” ships in question: jerza and royai who are both yuri and yaoi at the same time)#soma which is somehow the straightest of all.... but still distinctly queer in a way that's for me to know and u to find out.#pls don't mind me I'm drinking wine trying to finish ch 11#but now I have to put my money where my mouth is & start elaborating on the premise of this stupid story that I hate#guy who is neither in experimental medicine nor organized crime decides it's a good idea to write about both. fuck off#next one's just going to be a memoire. I'm tired of not knowing wtf I'm talking about#(i did this to myself)#amihan why are we not doing toxic yuri
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I’m fascinated about the oc stuff you mentioned! I only recently (within the last year) started creating oc’s so I’ve not really thought about creating images of them. I pretty much just save stock photos and photos of celebrities that resemble what I’m imagining, but that can be a pain. I’d love to hear more tips (as well as hearing about some of your oc’s if you’d like to share!)
A beloved mutual, hello!!
It's cool to hear that you're getting into oc stuff, making up little guys is so much fun! You'll have to tell me about yours sometime! I gotta admit though, saving stock and celebrity photos sounds like a hassle :/ I can't imagine what you'd do for a non-human oc…
If you're interested, I have a ton of picrew links I can share (and obviously I can give you ones with more specific aesthetics if you have something in mind, versus just dumping a truckload of random links on you).
I also really like using Heroforge (D&D Minifugre website) to make ocs (D&D related or not). They update pretty regularly so there's always better options (especially for non-human ocs) and colors for more specific customizations. It's especially cool because if you decide you really like it, you can buy your oc as a minifigure (but you can still use the site/save your oc even without buying anything)! I love free websites :3
Lately, I've been focusing on my batch of Minecraft ocs. I was supposed to join a big rp server, but that fell apart so now I'm just 'writing' it all myself. It's been really fun, and I like being able to build an intricate story and characters from a pre-set template that comes with making ocs within a pre-existing world/ruleset (It's just much easier on my busy brain for when I'm not working on my actual original writing or whatever XP). But because of this, I've also been making full Minecraft skins for those ocs. It's pretty much just pixel art, and I am nowhere near the levels of some of the proffesional skin-makers out there, but I've made some pretty cool stuff if I do say so myself!
TL;DR I am not good at art, but my imagination is very hyperactive, so having some of these online resources has helped a ton in just getting something out into the world. I am more than happy to share site links and answer any questions you have about navigating them if you wanna dm me! I'd also loove to talk about all my ocs more, but I know that can be a lot for a tumblr ask…especially if tumblr keeps eating them >:(
Thanks for messaging me, hope this helped some!
(Also, sorry for the weird formatting of this post tumblr is being dumb and I can't fix it for some reason...)
#why do the paragraph breaks look like that and why can't I change their spacing tumblr please the readability#i got an ask!#anyone is free to dm me for links btw#I figure it's easier to dm since I'm sure people will want more specific links#I could just make a master-post with all the links but that seems like too much#maybe if enough people ask idk#also been thinkin bout just making oc posts like I do in my writers/rp discord#I have little oc intros with some picrews for visual purposes#but I also don't wanna be annoying and flood people's dashes with stuff they don't care about#hopefully that all makes sense and isn't too many words...#I tried not to go into too many details bc I was excited lol#also trying not to add too much extra info in the tags like I normally do#especially about my frustration with the minecraft skins#I have so much fun making them and they look so good when they're done#But I am colorblind and never tried pixel art before just jumping into skin making soooo yeah lol#but I'm rambling now oops :3#anyways!#no cute emojis like usual bc i'm on desktop sad#heroforge#picrew#oc stuff
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