#all I know is that I can't fucking wait for this month to be over so I can make enough money to LIVE lol
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Practice ☆ Matt Sturniolo
Summary: Matt volunteers himself as kissing practice Warnings: bsf Matt, kissing
Silence stretches between you and Matt as you sit at opposite ends of the couch. You've already said goodbye but your ride is running late.
Your best friend seems perfectly content at his end of the sofa, phone in hand and arm spread across the back of the cushions lazily. But you are on edge.
The person picking you up isn't just a ride home.
It's a ride to a date.
A first date
Usually, that wouldn't be something that would put you on edge like this, but it's been months since you were last interested in anyone and this guy seems really interested in you.
Checking your phone again anxiously, you see no message from the date in question. With a groan, you slide down the couch to the floor.
"He's running pretty late." Matt points out, watching you slide off the couch and onto the floor.
"I know," you groan, "I'm already nervous, all this waiting is making it worse."
"Why are you nervous?" Matt asks, sliding along the couch to look at you on the floor.
Sighing, you pull yourself up into a sitting position and turn to face your friend. "I don't know, it's just been a while. And what if.."
Matt raises an eyebrow.
"...What if he tries to kiss me."
Matt responds with a shrug and a very matter of fact tone. "Then you kiss him back."
"But, like, what if I'm bad? I'm out of practice"
You've spoken to Matt about your relationships before, he's seen you kiss people at parties, but it's been months since your last kiss.
Matt motions for you to join him on the couch again and as you settle into the spot next to him he speaks up. "So then practice."
"On who?"
"On me." At his words, your eyebrows shoot up. You've never considered Matt in that way before and now here he is just offering himself up as kissing practice. He is attractive, though, not that you usually pay much attention to it. As you take in his appearance now, you remember. His blue eyes are full of sincerity, brown hair falling messily over his forehead. The grey crewneck he's wearing is loose around the neck, revealing the glint of silver from his chain necklace hiding underneath. In the brief silent pause, Matt raises a nervous hand to scratch at his neck. Even his hands are attractive. But he's your friend. Your best friend. You're not supposed to see him that way.
Your eyes flick back and forth between his, searching for any sign of a joke but you don't find one, and then he speaks again, this time his voice is low, almost pleading. "Kiss me."
The gravelly sound of his eager voice causes your chest to jump, your heat beating faster as Matt inches closer to you. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, drawing your eyes to them. And fuck, do they look tempting.
"Matt..." You whisper. A quiet warning that this might change everything, that it's not a good idea. But as his face leans closer to yours, you can't hear those warnings anymore. The sound of your racing heart drowns out the doubts. The sight of Matt's eyes fluttering closed, the feel of his breath dusting over your lips as he whispers your name in response.
It's all so tempting.
You tilt your chin upward, closing the small gap between you. Your lips brush against Matt's in a teasing sweep. The slightest touch sends sparks through you, your lips tingling. But it's not enough. After that tiny taste you need more.
Your hands rise to his face, gripping his cheeks and holding him as you smash your lips onto his again, this time with more force, more eagerness.
You want this.
And he wants it too.
As your mouth parts and your tongue glides over his lips, he lets out a breathy moan, eagerly reciprocating. Your tongues tangle in a sloppy, messy dance between your mouths. Each movement causes your chest to squeeze, yearning for more.
Always more.
You can tell that Matt is eager for more as well. His fingers curl in your hair, urging you closer. Small groans slip free from his mouth into yours each time you glide your tongue over his.
But just as you shift your hands to the back of his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss, your phone buzzes and Matt pulls away panting.
"Your date's here." He says through heavy breaths.
You grab the phone out of Matt's hands and toss it into your bag at the end of the couch. "I don't care. This isn't practice anymore."
Masterlist
#matt sturniolo#matthew bernard sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo blurb#sub matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader#matt stuniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#the sturniolo triplets
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Most desperate things the 141 boys have done for sex because I can't stop thinking about it <3
(sorry for this being a 3rd repost, I had an account called Lumi_bunsblog but that one got deleted for some reason so this is the new one now ig lol)
John's begged for it. I mean on his hands and knees begging for a taste. I know this man is an avid pussy pronoun user too. He has been on his knees in front of you as you sit pretty on his couch, trailing kisses up your soft belly to your tits and then back down to your thighs.
"C'mon sweet girl lemme' 'ave a taste of 'er yeah? Know she fuckin' needs me hm? Just look at tha'" as he runs a thumb of the wetness that's seeped through you thin panties, just waiting for you to say the words and let him tear them off.
He knows if anybody else in the 141 or if any of his fellow soldiers could see him now, the Captain Price practically drooling over you and sweet talking your cunt like it could hear him they would have a fit. But he couldn't care less because you looked so fucking good right now so "just let 'er 'ave what she wants alright sweet thing?"
I just know Kyle has spent 70% of his last month's pay check on hotel room because the 5 star pent house suite was the only hotel room in your area left available during the holidays. He played it cool with an arm around your waist assuring you it was fine, acting like this was the room he wanted to get, not the one he was forced to have. But if he was being forced to do anything thank god it was spoiling you.
"Don't worry 'bout it love. Just make 'urself comfortable" He'll say in a sultry sweet tone, planting kisses up the side of your neck before excusing himself to the lavish bathroom to check his bank account. He had to make sure he still had enough to buy you a nice breakfast in the morning.
And you're already layed out so pretty for him on the bed so he's not complaining about anything. Especially not the mirror situated on the ceiling right above the bed. Oh and don't you dare suggest splitting the cost, "just split your legs for me hun, 's all ya need to do"
Johnny is eager, like so so eager. When a passionate make out session on your couch got even more heated than either of you had previously expected and he now had his fingers playing with the waistband of your skirt, letting his cold finger tips splay themselves just below. When he got to the hem of your panties and began to hook a finger into the lace you had to stop him,
"Johnny"
"Yea?" He was breathless, chasing your lips when you pulled away to talk. You almost felt bad for separating but if he was going to touch you, there was one request you needed to make. You had felt his nails drag across your thighs moments earlier, it felt wonderful but they were...a little long.
"Do ya nae want this hen?" He'd ask, looking at you like you were a piece of art. Pleading with his eyes, shining like they'd spill tears if you said yes.
"No, no I want this, I want you so so much. It's just..." you trailed off
"Tell me what's wrong bonnie and I'll fix it, yeah?" his hands kept you grounded to his lap either a soft grip on you ass.
"It's just- you're nails, they're a little long" your request was nothing more than whisper.
'Oh' Johnny knew he probably should have just asked for clippers, but you felt so damn good on his lap. He could feel your warm cunt through the zipper of his jeans and with your tits brushing against his chest he couldn't bring himself to move.
You watched in shock as he just began to just tear his nails off with his teeth. Without a second thought his pointer and middle finger nails were bit off to the skin. He paused and looked at his right hand before ripping off the index finger as well.
"Johnny what's gotten into you-?"
But he's already got his hands back down your skirt. Soft finger tips slipping between your folds. "Feel better now eh?" And when you just nuzzled your nose into his neck and let out a little whimper he chuckled "I'll take tha' as a yes"
Simon swallows his pride for the first time in his life for a chance at hitting it raw. You tell him it's okay to not use protection, that you're on birth control. But you needed to make sure that he didn't have any stds seeing as they're even more of a pain when you're on birth control. Not that you don't trust him you just want to make sure and it's not a problem for him seeing as he has to get tested every other week being in the military.
He doesn't, however, have his records on him at the moment and with a girl already lying in his bed telling him he can cum inside. Plus a raging hard on, he doesn't exactly feel like running back to base to get the paper work. So...next best thing.
"Price-"
"Rare for ya to call on leave Simon, whatchya need?" Price responds, his voice cracking through the face time call, a cigar dangling from his lips.
"Sir I need..." he looks back at you, your eyes expectant and shining. You wanted him and he wasn't going to fuck this up. "Can you send me a picture of my last med check results?" He rushes out the last part, elbow on his knee and hand dragging over his face.
Price quirks one eyebrow but doesn't look like he's going to ask any questions. Unlucky for Simon though, Johnny was also in the room. His voice distantly coming through the phone,
"The feck ya need those for l.t.?" He questioned
Simon just groaned, soap's addition to this call just made it even more frustrating. But he snapped out of his frustration at the sound of price opening his file cabinet. "What part?" Price asked, dismissing Johnny with a wave of his hand.
"The-" Simon began, this was fucking embarrassing but when he looked back to you, now perched on your hands and knees, the plush of you hips resting on your ankles, he'd do anything at this point. "STD results." He responded plainly.
"Aye! No fuckin' way mate!" The sound of a chair scraping the floor could be heard as Johnny began to clammer over to his captain who pulled the sheet from his files.
"Ya didn't tell me he was in the room" Simon growled
"Ya didn't ask" Price droned
Johnny's head popped into frame "show me what she looks like ey l.t?"
"Not happening" Simon deadpanned
"Aw c'monnnn" The sergeant whined "just proud of you for finally getting some action!"
"Enough." Simon could see you biting your lip to stifle a laugh out of the corner of his eyes, a curious look in your eyes at his reddened face.
"Sent a picture to ya Simon" Price huffed, letting Johnny give him one last "good luck!" Before hanging up the phone.
You were a mess of giggles as he just shook his head and shoved the phone results in your face for you to look at. "See. Clean."
"Okay okay" you giggled, finally letting his form eclipse you back onto the pillows
"Went through a hell of a lot of trouble for ya, sweet girl" he whispered, nipping at the shell of your ear.
"I'll make it worth it" you said, kissing the corner of his lip and tangling your fingers in the back of his hair
"Christ woman" he groaned, feeling his cock twitch at your promise, "gunna' be the death a' me"
#oh boy here we go again#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#johnny x reader#johhny soap mactavish#soap x you#soap smut#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#gaz x reader#gaz x you#gaz x y/n#gaz smut#kyle garrick x reader#kyle garrick x you#simon riley x you#simon riley#simon riley smut#simon ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x oc#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost smut#john price#price x reader#price smut#price x you
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She did what?- Drew Starkey part 2
˚⋆ ୧ ࣪ Warnings Cheating , Odessa , swearing
Summary Hollywood is so overrated, but when Larissa finds out what our beloved Drew is up to, shit hits the fan 💋
"I miss you how you made me feel last night"
"When can you leave her house already, I need you"
You're Gut feeling all your friends talked about having when they have gotten cheated on. You said to yourself you would never feel that. Drew was good to you, no signs, no evidence. Until now, you can't breathe. heartbroken is the feeling you felt.
It's been an hour, and he still sleeping.
I looked through all of the messages. He has been gone for two months, which means for those two months. He has been lying and cheating with her. The girl you hate, you knew she always talked shit to her friends when you would be with Drew at a bar. You brushed it off because you never wanted to ruin the moment.
"What are you doing on my phone," Drew says, staring at me. He is caught, and he knows it. He has been awake for the past 5 minutes.
Disbelief is all you feel, the man you loved for 2 years who you thought couldn't hurt you in a way that all your friends told you or the internet. Deeply in love with this man. The hurt you felt, and he was about to hear it.
"Are you kidding me, the shit I found on your fucking phone, you cheated on me with this bitch, be so for real right now Drew". You say
He looks like he has seen a ghost, a ghost that is about to get put through the ringer. "I don't know what to say... I'm sorry baby". He says
"Dont call me that, we done Drew, Done. I have nothing to say to you". you express
"I am gonna leave save us both the trouble". Drew says
I take his phone and throw it against the wall. It shatters. Thank God fuck that hoe. Crash out is all you think but let this motherfucker think you're calm and collected.
A few days later
Brian, your best friend, always was in a show with Odessa. You needed a friend that made you feel at home. Both you and Brian made it up together. You met him at an award ceremony and knew he would be family. He was there with you for everything: first Big Movie, First Vogue Magazine Cover, Victoria's Secret shot, and plenty of other amazing accomplishments. He gets you and always supports you through everything. A big brother that you always wanted.
"I really can't believe him, two months away from you, and you would think he was thinking of you, but no, just thinking with his Dick," Brian says, he takes a sip of his wine.
You roll your eyes. "I wanna kill her and him. Everything I gave to that man and sacrificed for him, cheating, was never on my radar for him. Especially with her, like dude, the bitch is all over him 24/7 you would think, hello, he has a girlfriend maybe I should back away and stop trying to fuck him anymore, but no, my boyfriends fucking her in Italy for two months, while his girlfriend is home waiting for him and missing him." you express in disbelief
"If I could take anything back, it would be that boundaries are a major thing, that first night I met her, I should have known that she wanted him all over him and how she would brush me away every time I would speak."
Sitting on the floor with Brian as the TV in the background was just for noise for your ears. Chineses was just ordered, and Brian brought you your favorite red wine and yap session.
"You're perfect, beautiful as people would say," Brian says jokey. He nudges your shoulder, teasing you. "Don't let this silly man drive you crazy you have major things coming for you, accomplished many, and our the people's princess if you have any takeaways with this shit, it would be he lost the baddest bitch he will ever meet. You should be proud of yourself but do not, and I mean I do not let this shit get you off your tracks, major things are happening in your life. Oscar red carpet for Anora, Fenty shoot, and Vanity Fair shoot with Lily-Rose Depp. Life has shit planned for you." He says while hugging you and reassuring you of your worries. "I love you hoe". He nudges you again.
You roll your eyes. "Love you more boo". You hug him
#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#drew starkey smut#rafe fluff#outer banks fanfiction#Brian Altemus
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Hey I love ur stories so I was wondering if u could give me recommendations for the best AO3 MAXIEL stories you've read if u don't mind, thnx 💜💜
hi anon! thank you so much for this ask!! I always love recommending maxiel stories,,,
i have way too much, but I've tried to skim through them and pull out the ones I could read over and over again without ever being bored of it. so anyways, here you go, my fav 13 maxiel fics in no particular order:
I know your name (but not who you are) by @prongsofficial (rated G)
“Hi, Daniel,” the man at his door says, tentative with a sideways smile. There’s sweat on his hairline and two cage-like boxes in his hands. He hears a meowing come out of them when he shifts to set them down. “Max,” Daniel breathes out, floored and caught in the way Max rubs at his own arm awkwardly. Max just smiles. -- Based on the Stick Season (Forever) album by Noah Kahan
a hauntingly beautiful nine-chapter non-linear fic about what could've happened if Daniel had to retire after his hand injury in Zandvoort 2023. Gorgeous. Just the right amount of angst, fluff and crushing dialogues.
dead heat by @powerful-owl (rated E)
"Oh my god. Okay, you’re an alpha. Yeah, Max? You’re an alpha?” Max looks up, tongue lapping at the webbing between Daniel’s fingers. He waits for his thoughts to print into words: paper roll unfurling, sticky nozzles stamping please, need, yours. He just nods. “You’re an alpha.” Daniel laughs, reedy and weird. “Max, what the fuck. Why are you on your knees?”
I'm not usually into a/b/o fics but this one. this hit and still hits me everyday. I have read it almost three times now (keep in mind this is a 35-chapters/200k words fic) and I can't believe how well written it is. the smut is beautiful, angsty and punch-to-the-gut. worth every seconds spent reading it. I also really liked the fact that this is not your traditional a/b/o dynamics, with the little weak omega getting roughly fucked by perma-rut alpha. nope. it's so much more.
breaking every rule for you by @magicalrocketships (rated E)
Daniel's always been competitive. He's never backed down from a challenge, even if it's one he doesn't understand the rules of and doesn't remember signing up for. But he knows this: if Max sends him a dick pic, then Daniel sends one back. Or, it’s Daniel's first year at Renault, and Max hasn't spoken to him in months.
soul-cushing, kink-finding, whatever the fuck even fic. no words to describe this one I think. it's messed my brain up. anyway. 200k words of max and Daniel being idiots, max with a girlfriend he doesn't love and Daniel not accepting he's in love with max. all that while sending dick pics everyday. hot. beautiful. made me cry and bite into my own arm because of how I wish I could just grip both their heads and smash them like barbies so they can kiss.
that's where I am by @flawlessassholes (rated E)
“Her name is Emily,” Daniel says softly. Max’s eyes snap down to the baby, still sleeping on Daniel’s chest. It’s—she’s snoring a little. In that snuffly way that babies snore. “Short for Emilian.” His eyes snap back to Daniel’s face, so serious, and Max knows it’s a joke, of course, but he still opens his mouth to say— Then Daniel’s face breaks into that wide grin, the real one, the one Max hasn’t seen since. Well. In a while. It feels at once so familiar, and also like seeing something rise from the dead.
There’s a month between Melbourne and Baku. A month to convince Daniel to return to racing. A month to learn and relearn how to love. A month for everything to feel right amidst a season that has felt nothing but wrong. A month to create a family, and a month to maybe lose it all.
daniel has a baby and max learns how to deal with that. all that while Emily (dan's kid) is the cutest baby ever. made my heart ache in the best way, had me having a baby-fever for 8 chapters. the smut is gorgeous, the story had me weeping and I could not believe how someone could even come up with such a well-rounded idea. gorgeous.
haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? by vivienne_xoxo (rated E)
Daniel is on the verge of quite possibly nothing in his last year of high school. Max is on the verge of everything in his sophomore year. The one thing that connects them is soccer, squash, and track and field. Being at different schools, they only see each other once per season for games. However, they find themselves meeting in the spaces between, unknowing of what it all really meant. As Daniel nears graduation with a GPA of a whopping 2.0, a sexuality crisis, and a blonde twisted in his bedsheets and his brain, the one thing he really knows is that he's so, so fucked. OR: A sports rivals with benefits, strangers to lovers Maxiel fic that no one really wanted. Literally just the school I go to right now but with changed names.
everything a teen!maxiel fic could ever want to be. teens in love, max and Daniel going through everything that comes with that. sexuality crises all over the place, hormones, too. love it. this is the fic that made me want to start my own teen!maxiel. it's funny, angsty, has way too many crack-worthy dialogue. I love it.
a sure thing by @thewindowatkirkland (rated E)
Afterwards, once they’ve headed back inside on unsteady legs and showered in Max’s insane ensuite, Daniel pulls on his clothes and watches Max do the same. He’s always quieter after sex, once the adrenaline and dopamine have receded some. Daniel gets it, the whole hooker thing is more awkward for most people once the fucking is actually over. “How much do you charge for a full night?” Max asks, after he transfers the fee for today, the little notification pinging on Daniel’s phone. M. E. Verstappen has sent you a payment. Daniel doesn't bother to check the amount, Max will have rounded it up to the nearest thousand anyway, just like he always does. OR: daniel is an escort, max is a five time world champion, and also one of his regular clients. (aka, the hooker!dan au)
gorgeous. no words. 30k of hooker!Daniel that had me going a little crazy. so many good smut scenes, so many insane dialogues, so many insane angsty moments that aren't angst but feel like it... love love love it. I've read it a couple times already and it always has me on the floor. beautiful and breathtakingly so.
growing sideways by @thewindowatkirkland (rated E)
“We’re in Monaco,” Max says, “and you haven’t lived in either of those places for a very long time, Daniel. Since 2013.” It must be fucking amnesia, Daniel reasons, because when he went to bed last night it was July 2012. And here a grown up Max Verstappen is, telling him 2013 was a very long time ago. OR: daniel wakes up in a bed he doesn’t recognise, next to a man he doesn’t know.
what if Daniel woke up as his 2012 self with braces and awkward limbs but he's in his 2024 self bed, next to his 2024 self boyfriend (max) and he can't understand how any of this is happening? that's it. that's the plot. loved the little references, the race watching, the max trying to make Daniel learn everything they've had since 2012. the virgin smut. hot. but. everything about this fic is so, so sweet. it's gentle. like a hug after a long day, it takes you in and you never want to let go, especially because it has Daniel's fucked up teeth/braces in it. (joking but you know how I am with teeth, right?)
(just let me) adore you by @sillystappen (rated G)
One night, Max confronts the monster under his daughter's bed. Turns out, that monster is a very kind mothman called Daniel.
adorable. mothman!daniel (beautiful, beautiful, woah) takes car of max's daughter because other monsters might want to hurt her. so, so sweet. max is gentle but obsessed, and who can blame him even, Daniel is gentle, gentle, gentle, and caring, and so. argh. sorry. I'm obsessed with the fluff, the daughter, the developing bond between max and moth!Daniel. short and so cute.
auditory stimulator by togenkyo (rated E)
There are no rules for falling in love. It can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. Max may not be well experienced in love, but he's pretty sure that "Falling in love with a guy you met when you accidentally picked up the phone at a sex hotline." should be a rule.
so funny. had me giggling in a public space over silly roommates trying to get max laid/in a couple. so fun and quirky, really had pulled in from seeing 'Phone Sex Operators' in the tags. I'm glad I read this. great dialogue, story and characters.
hey, remember that time by @powerful-owl (rated E)
There’s a snowstorm outside and a snowstorm in Max’s head. “Yes, okay. What.” “I think I’m gay? Pretty sure. Or like. Hella bi. Cause I think I’d still – if you were a – sorry. My body likes you, Max.” — (Max owns an inn and Daniel has amnesia.)
so funny... love, love, love. I always love those kind of stories, the AU with amnesia and all, but this one is genuinely the best I've ever read. I love all of @powerful-owl 's fics, but this one. it has me in a chokehold. read it again during the holidays for the snowy/angsty/smutty vibes and the scenes always have me giggling or crying. sometimes both at the same time. can't believe she has the power to write such good scenes like the bathroom one. description is just gorgeous, smut is always really good and goofy and. yeah. love it. can't say I've ever been let down by one of her works.
new wave (new emotions) by nothoughtsjustvibes (Kitkatieb) (rated G)
In which Max realizes he’s in love with Daniel and flies to Colorado to make it Lewis’s problem. Lewis just wants him to leave – preferably on a plane to Australia.
so so fun. lewis' POV, which is always really fun to read, especially since it's maxiel. just. lewis objective on the whole 'yes max, Daniel is in love with you, too' situation without actually saying it out loud. cause max has to figure it out for himself. really, really cool and original. loved reading.
two's company, three's a crowd by Whippasnappa (rated E)
“I need to be good at these things so it does not matter when. When they see.” Max says. He's- Daniel's chest feels like its caved in. Max looks so fucking ashamed, and his eyes are wet, lashes fluttering like he’s trying to blink away tears. “See what? Max?” He can’t- there’s nothing about Max that Daniel could imagine would be so off-putting that someone wouldn’t want him. Clearly there’s more to it, then, the reason why Max hasn’t hooked up before. “It is small.” Max says.
whippasnappa is a genius on this one. small dick!max is alway shy fav max but this one,,, gorgeous. breathtaking. couldn't stop staring at y screen even if I died. could've died actually. had me having three heart attacks. have never come back from this one. arghhhh
we predict blue skies and tight pants by dontburnme
The sight just made him dizzy. The hottest man he’s ever fucking seen flipping off a cliff into the murky Oslo waters twenty seven meters high up. Or, Daniel’s a Red Bull high diver and Max experiences an out of body experience watching him.
in which, Daniel is a diver and max watches him dive. and dies, a little. it's crazy, crazy good. had me a little crazy, pulling my hair out by the end of it. I, too, had an out of body experience. crazy, crazy, crazy, and such a fun concept. alway love me some short and sweet AU-fics.
bonus!!: high and dry by @jermeows
real cowboys ride cock, y'know right?
technically not a fic but. it's such wonderful fanart I HAD to include it. maxiel cowboys; what more is there to say...
#anyways I think this is most of it#might add to it later on#but these are so#so beautiful#so crazy#so good#been wanting to reread most of these for a while now#I might do just that#maxiel#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#maxiel fic#max/daniel#fic rec#teeth
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I am curious if you think the campaign wrap up will perhaps address some of the campaign shortcomings or challenges the cast faced in trying to land this campaign narratively, especially in comparison to previous campaigns? Not that they would disparage the whole campaign - but like a little “yeah this didn’t work as well as we wanted at times?”
It’s odd because I find myself weirdly optimistic about CR as a whole despite this campaign’s possible lackluster ending, so I guess I’m hoping the campaign wrap up acknowledges that this campaign didn’t always play to their strengths in hopes that their next long form venture does more, idk.
I don't know if it will but. that's precisely the tenor any question I send will have: I don't think the fundamental concept is the issue - hell, I don't even think killing the gods is actually a problem if you appropriately set up a scenario where killing the gods has a motivation other than "mortals were mean to me in their name" [thing that happens irl all the time in a world with zero proof of divinity, in my religiously observant ideologically agnostic and skeptical opinion] or "I have issues with my parents I never worked towards so I've projected this onto The Ultimate Parents instead of like. being fucking normal." But it needed a lot more scaffolding at the VERY least in the prep for this campaign, and actually, to be blunt, if you want to make this a balanced issue you needed to seed this concept through prior campaigns in a meaningful way. There's a reason pretty much everyone who defends this campaign as Extremely Good, Actually is either doing some form of wildly revisionist history of the fandom and the past campaigns that's demonstrably false if you were like. there; or else they started with C3 and decided they were an expert despite being of below-average literacy and deeply below average personality and have to resort to such miserable efforts as "arguing that canon isn't real" and "posting an out of context Le Guin quote over and over in the hopes we won't notice they're actually 511 mice in a trenchcoat who can't actually read". So yeah I hope Matt is like this was an ambitious project and I'd have done many things differently.
I do wonder what's next for CR, because as I mentioned, it feels like the cast is stronger in shorter form; that even the other longform shows are moving to shorter form right now; and that WBN and C3 kind of show the limits/failings of longform. I hope they do another longform campaign at some point in the future, but it might make sense to take an extended break and play in the space for a while. They only took about 4 months between campaigns for the past two and maybe it would be good to take longer and focus on Daggerheart, Candela, and EXU for much of the year and if they do longform wait 8-10 months, especially with the comparatively extensive touring schedule this year.
I also hasten to add, and I mentioned this briefly in talking about CRPGs, but I think there's a Third Campaign Dip that's not inevitable (NADDPod didn't really have it; TAZ switches systems enough that it's not an issue) but definitely hit here, that doesn't apply to a fourth one. Like, for CRPGs (girl who's played Veilguard twice and gotten through the first day of Disco Elysium voice) it feels like the first run is following what seems most fun to you and then the second is playing around with other choices that maybe aren't as appealing just to see what happens, and then for the third and future runs you kind of know the full lay of the land and what you'll like while still allowing for a range of choices. For class-based TTRPGs, the first is the self-insert/thing that's fairly comfortable and easy/character you've dreamed of; the second is what you do now that you know how this works; and then the third can be...an overextension, shall we say. I think after that you figure out, again, the bounds of your comfort zone, how much you can stretch it, and what you don't like, you're in a much more consistent footing.
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wip wednesday ♥️
happy wednesday friends <3 i was tagged by @wikiangela, @exhuastedpigeon, and @rogerzsteven to share something so thank u all mwah
this is from eddie vs the hoa because he and buck made a pallet of blanket in the living room floor to sleep on and i think it was cute so please enjoy 🫶🏼
“I know,” Buck says, a little drowsy. And he does know—Eddie’s told him everything. There’s no secrets between them. “It’s big enough for you and Chris to grow in.” “I think it could be a forever home.” It’s a whisper because anything louder might disrupt the moment. “Mine and my son’s and yours, too.” Buck blinks, slow and sleepy. He’s less than five minutes from falling asleep; he worked so hard today. He deserves to rest. “Mine?” he repeats, voice pitched high like he doesn’t quite believe it. Eddie’ll make him. “Yours.” He reaches out, picks at a dark eyelash resting on Buck’s cheek, and holds the tip of his finger near Buck’s mouth. “Make a wish.” Buck’s eyes cross, twin blobs of blue in the flickering light of the laptop screen, and he puckers his lips to blow a bit of cool air. The eyelash drifts off somewhere over Eddie’s shoulder, but he doesn’t care to know because the color of Buck’s eyes is the same shade of blue the sky was the night he stayed up with his abuelo. “What’d you wish for?” Buck chuckles. “If I tell you, it won’t come true.” Eddie hums. “I’ll make it come true,” he swears, and he thinks Buck’s cheeks tint red, but it might just be from the light of the laptop screen.
no pressure tagging @honestlydarkprincess, @giddyupbuck, @eowon, @eddiediaztho, @wildlife4life, @watchyourbuck, @thewolvesof1998, @alyxmastershipper, @jeeyuns, @fortheloveofbuddie, @hippolotamus, @ladydorian05, @callmenewbie, @nmcggg, and anybody else who wants to share something!
#if anybody's wondering we're over 15k in and no eddie's not anywhere close to realizing he is in fact head over ass in love with buck#it's all planned out and can i just say. can i just say that eddie has no inner monologue because he says everything on his mind always#and yeah yeah whatever buck's being a doll and mowing his yard before he gets ANOTHER ticket but does he have to do it shirtless#does he have to draw a whole crowd of people that eddie has to chase off because what the fuck#eddie's got groceries in the backseat he can't be arguing with his neighbors ogling buck#because if his ice cream melts he's going to throw a big fucking fit#he's waited mONTHS for the store to get lavender honey back in stock goddammit and if his nosy neighbors don't let him enjoy it#he'll have a fit#and it's all buck's fault really like why is he mowing SHIRTLESS#buck don't you know that's going to irritate your skin#BUCK DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SHOWER BEFORE YOU GO HOME#might as well not go home at that point#that's what your room is for buck just stay the night#matter of fact just stay forever#platonically tho#anyway#tag games
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Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die
#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid#she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds#ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back#she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german#boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk#is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how#SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on#his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT#she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches#with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE#there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but#THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS#she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry#in the disguise of helping clean house#while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought#my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died#hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life#WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON#SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD#SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE#OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO#OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE#THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING#UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO#be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW#I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE#FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN#SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME
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my niece stayed with us last night. it was pretty fun this time, probably because I was feeling better (if I'm already in pain or exhausted, I can't handle it). after we dropped her off, we talked to my mother for a little bit, and then drove to my in-laws. we were there for a few hours and because the guys were busy outside, i ended up talking to my mother-in-law for most of that time. it was... kind of good? I don't know. she actually showed some real emotions, just a little bit, but hey that's more than ever before! I even gave her a weird little shoulder squeeze/side hug, it was so weird.
anyway, I almost fell asleep in the car on the way home because I was so tired, and actually did fall asleep immediately on the couch.
#it's pretty annoying because my mother-in-law of course asked me how applying for jobs is going. I haven't applied for a single one yet#bc dude I can barely get through the day. I sleep for 12-16 hours a day. and I'm almost always in some kind of pain. and I'm not doing so#good mentally either. come on! I interacted with a handful of people in one day and had to sleep for like 6 hours.#anyway so I said it's a bit difficult because I'm constantly tired - it felt like the only thing she might kind of understand?#annnd she said its probably a vitamin D deficiency and I should get that tested (I won't because I'd have to pay for that and also I think I#read that taking vitamin D supplements doesn't actually help? I can't remember now and I don't want to look it up bc I know it definitely is#not the only or even main reason I am always tired.#I took vitamin D tablets for several months last year (?) bc my previous GP recommended it and. it did absolutely nothing at all#plus. like. I can't sleep. I sleep like shit. always. so. idk? that definitely doesn't help#and I sleep more when I'm in pain and all that too. so.#and she knows I have a bunch of health issues but. nope it's vitamin D because that's one thing and it's simple and here take a pill you're#fine now! wait why aren't you fine now? oh I guess you're just lazy 🙄#< that's 100% how that would go#ugh. Just let me sleep for 5-10 years. maybe that'd fix me....#like. I'm trying to get myself back (?) to being an actual human person again. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm trying to#live and not feel like I'm drowning every fucking day#finding a job is only gonna add more stress and exhaustion and everything. if I want to try to help myself this is the time to do it#okay rant over I'm going to sleep now#personal
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You know I thought for awhile that I was just a rare type of person who sure, liked people well enough but was okay being alone didn't necessarily need anyone and NO. NO. NO. OH MY GOD . YOU GIANT DUMBASS. NO HAHAHA NOOO NOPE
#tide of consciousness#See what was confusing me is usually when people talk about life partner they mean romantically sexually#And also I have yet to meet someone who gets me in the way I want someone to get me <- I think <- good chance I have and squandered it#<- that may be the evil brain talking though#But anyway so I was misconstruing the fact that the people I know and like currently are not people I want to spend my life with#With the idea that there is no one and no chance I will ever want that#And also heteronormative allo society despite my best efforts Is in my brain#And I'm only just realizing how badly I would really like to find a person or maybe people who do make me feel like. I could want that#The idea that there could be someone out there that I would want to spend my time and space with forever is mind blowing#Because honestly and this is of course the mental illness but I have kind of been under the assumption that maybe I am just like. Weeell#Evil and broken and cruel and selfish and HAHA. you know. The usual#Because you know only recently I got my first taste of 'a person is actively choosing you and wants you over all things'#And then I fucked that up because that was my first time believing anyone could care about me and you know you always fuck that one up#And that sucked and is still in the process of sucking but it has also made me realize#That there is actually a way that I would want that. Maybe#Like in a way that worked. I'd really like to have a person like that maybe#And honestly that's a nightmare to have to realize#Because before it was like hey! I guess I just don't have to worry about that!#And now I'm like FUCK. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS#because special secret I've never actively tried to connect to people in my life ever#I don't know how you do that! I don't know how to actively form relationships!#I just wait for someone to grab me and pull me along! It's terrifying to think about trying to discover that#AT 20!#I know it's not unusual especially in this day and age in fact it's kind of an epidemic#But you're supposed to learn how to socialize when you're a little tiny baby!!! I don't want to figure this out now I can't even get a job!#Fucking shit that's a lot of words um#Every 6 months I remember that I'm deeply deeply deeply lonely and it's the worst and then I wilfully ignore it until I rediscover it again#Every day I discover a new layer to how utterly wretchedly self loathing my brain is and its the worst#Peeling back a layer of paint and surprise! You've subconsciously thought you were fine being alone because secretly you believe#That it is impossible for you to be anything but alone! Yay!
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jobs will say they're disability friendly until you actually need them to be friendly about your disabilities
jobs will say they're mental health friendly until you actually have to miss work for it
jobs will say they support you taking time off until you actually do it
capitalism is a sham and employers do not and will not ever care about you, and if you're chronically ill, sucks to suck
i have an average of 1.5 absences a month and i'm tardy an average of twice a month, and somehow that's still too much.
18 absences in a year if i go at the current rate. 18. out of the 208 days total that i work (4 on, 3 off, with a 3 hour commute each direction.) 18. days. of absences. and that's too many.
and god forbid i be more than 15 minutes late.
#it's because we're horrifically understaffed#animal rescue is understaffed and underpaid and burnt the fuck out#but where else am i gonna go#back to retail? my body can't take that anymore#a decade of 8 hours a day on my feet has quite literally crippled me#i called out today because i dared to have fun over my weekend and my hip pain flared so badly that i couldn't put weight on it#i should stay home and rest it tomorrow too#but i'm not#because my boss already texted me today to inform me that my absences are “alarmingly too frequent” and “becoming problematic”#i took fmla for a month and a half last year because i couldn't handle existing#i've been back for 3 months#my shelter laid off 15% of our staff within a month of me returning#critical teams were cut entirely#and my team#the adoptions team#has seven people total#that's not enough#that isn't NEARLY enough#not for an animal shelter of our size and animal volume#that's why me calling out is “problematic”#because HR won't greenlight us for more positions#because of a problem THE CEO caused by driving us into the ground financially#and if i leave i have to start all over somewhere else#i have to wait a year to be eligible for fmla at a new job#i lose my benefits#i don't even know if i could FIND a job#the market is awful and i will literally collapse if i have to work a standing job again#i made it six months at my last one#because i was so dizzy and in so much pain all the time#undiagnosed issues of course
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over a month's work
I'm doing so well at writing rn
I totally don't want to take my brain out of my head and start yelling at it
#personal#fic update#the cut words were like... 60? or smt#this chapter is going so well i might as well drop the whole fucking fic...#i don't think i will cause i really look forward to writing the ending but gods am i at my limits#just. the most infuriating thing is that i KNOW HOW to proceed#it's just the little words to get there and this shit has been going on for a month#and i don't have my other wips on the cloud so i can't even switch rn#ooof#i'm at this point of the fic where writing it is a slog and actually not enjoyable#i've dropped wips for less DO YOU HEAR ME YOU DAMNED FIC???#...#rant over sr block the personal tag yada yada you know the drill bye!#wait#have this for reading all that -> ❤#k now bye
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I'm either having a sudden depressive episode or coming down with something
#either way I don't feel great!#it doesn't feel like a cold. I'm quite familiar with those#I just feel strange#low energy. sad. kinda sick.#maybe it's just both lol#maybe I haven't been eating enough nutrients. and I'm also sad about being absolutely broke. and the combination leaves me like this lol#all I know is that I can't fucking wait for this month to be over so I can make enough money to LIVE lol#I'm gonna have to pay basically all my bills late this month#so anyways. feel like shit. gonna have a burguer for dinner while FINALLY watching the sofia cameo in season 11#and then go to bed ridiculously early#I have training revalidation tomorrow so at least I won't have to fly#rambles*
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Can everyone calm down today, my father falls from a roof and breaks both of his legs, my mother is going insane because we still can't find half of our stuff since we moved and ohmygod please let me rest. Did anyone try to stop and touch some flowers. Smell the autumn air? No? Okay.
#vampire complains#my father is okay just an idiot and he called me while waiting for the ambulance all guilt trippy like kay#and i love my mother and she loves me i know that bit this past month is so stressfull and i know that but mygod#sometimes you just want to hear thank you love you congrats#not 'try harder' i can't physicaly manifest a new fucking box that has our stuff it is lost it is somwhere#'you do nothing all day' literally gripping the sink trying not to scream and kill someone#okay rant over
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Things are just so 😞 rn, on top of family tragedy I'm just sick, constantly, so I can't even escape for a bit to write, and in a few days I'm gonna lose access to my digital art program and have just been holding that thought at bay bc I don't even know how to cope with it LMAO
#no i can't 'just swing $10 a month' i have literally nothing and I'm gonna lose that too 😔#text posts#fuck#i really really don't know what I'm gonna do I'm trying to scrounge up the money for medicine#and now the only thing i had art.... i can't afford to buy anything and I'll have to learn a new program from the ground up#aka get frustrated to tears over and over again only to make a sub par piece of bullshit#i know nobody likes depression posts but I'm sick and injured and at all time fucking low rn and i just#have no recourse for anything only sit around waiting for family member to pass away
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sigh.
#this last weekend was so bad#my master thesis is due to be registered in the next two weeks#and i'm not nearly done with all the research i have to do for my topic#i feel like such a failure#and logically i KNOW that what i want to write about works and that i can easily fill the 100 pages i'm supposed to write#but i can't fucking concentrate#and all this pressure is literally breaking me#pressure from the university#pressure from my parents#and unintended pressure from my friends bcs i'm the first in my group to start writing the thesis#and they think i'm in so much control and i have my life in order#i'm just terrified of everything that can go wrong and at this point it's just panic attack after panic attack#just thinking about the working process leaves me crying and hyperventilating#and health care for mental issues is so bad in my country#you either have to pay hundreds of euros for a session or wait up to 14 months for an appointment#i'm just over here spiraling#and uni is once again sucking the joy out of the things that i love#i'm supposed to love history#it's the only thing i'm really good at#but at this point it only makes me cry#i just want it all to be over
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.
[vent warning in the tags. I'll be okay. I'm just feeling bad and need to scream into the void. Do not be worried about my physical well-being, that's not in danger.]
#My dysphoria gets worse and worse.#The longer i exist like this. The harder it will be to change#My body is settling. It feels like I'm hardened clay and I've lost my chance#The older i get the more I'll lose skin plasticity. I'm terrified to bind because what if I damage the tissue over time#(which makes the dysphoria even worse)#I've grown my hair out because I didn't want to stuck in gender roles#And I thought (in all my naivity)#“oh I'll be off the waiting list soon! I'll be able to be handsome!”#But the list keeps growing and growing and growing and GROWING#2 years. 2.5. 3.#I have another year to go they say. But I trust it for shit.#It'll be 4 if I'm lucky I just feel it in my bones#I'll be 26 when I have my intake. Whenever i realize I'll be 30 before I will see any true results it makes me want to scream#I want to scream so often!!#With terror and anger!!#I don't like existing in this way!!!!! I'm not me!!!!#Ive managed to bottle it up out of fear. And then I managed by keeping my eyes on the horizon#“soon I'll be where I'm supposed to be. Soon I'll finally feel like things are right.”#But the horizon keeps moving as I go forward#And I'm so lonely#And I'm so tired#And fuck i just want to feel like I AM a man. Not that I would like to be.#I know people are just fucking indulding me. I'm not delusional I know what I look like#If I cut my hair again these feelings will win#But what other avenues are left to me?#I'm 1.52. 4'11 in American#What the FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK am I meant to do???!!!!?!#I live literally next to the hospital. Why can't they HELP ME.#I have existed like this for so long and I can't fucking do this for two more years!!!!!!! Fuck!!!#I will wait until summer. 8 more months and it will be 3 years on that cursed fucking waiting list
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