#alix burns churches

[miraculous-rewrite]

Miraculous Rewrite- The Christmas Special

What makes it special? Nine hours of straight work and a metric mountain of potato chips and classical music for focus

Paris is lighting up for the holidays, lights along shops and snow on the ground, the air is cold but the world is warm. Minor characters and classmates are seen getting into the spirit all over the city, It’s Marc getting roped into singing with Mylene and Ivan in  a street corner choir, Mme Dubois coming home to her husband before getting warm by the fire,  Just to see wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas. A cup of kindness split between Aurore and Mirielle, A reunion between friends and brothers, among Paris wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas.

Out of the classmates the first to be feathered for more than a moment is Lila, She and her mother are celebrating the Italian way, in church. Despite being just faces in the crowd the two of them look surprisingly content.

We then shift to the Raincomprix household, Sabrina and Roger together in the kitchen cooking, a feminine voice asks if they need any help, to which Sabrina cheerily responds that they’re not letting her burn the house down again, Mama!

Max has put together a Christmas upgrade for Markov, Kaalki resting on his shoulder happily, but just as he’s about to present it to his robot the doorbell rings, He seems excited, asking aloud if his mom got off work early for the holiday, but as he opens the door, Kim and Alix greet him. “Hey bud! Heard Capitalism fucked over your Christmas, so since Alix and I don’t celebrate, WE’RE HERE!”

Juleka and Anarka are stringing lights up along the houseboat’s exterior, Juleka wondering aloud if they should have trusted the kitchenette to Rose, Ankara laughs and states heartily that Rose’s controlled chaos will be a welcome addition this year! Meanwhile inside, Rose is grumbling to herself in a surprising display of un-Rose-Like behavior, flour covering most of her front, and worriedly peeking over her shoulder is Prince Ali. “Do Parisian dishes all have such high mess probability?” “No This thing is just stubborn!” She chirps and continues struggling. Watching the display is, of course, Luka, he’s strumming a (Public domain) christmas song on his guitar, Sass hiding in the space between his guitar and his stomach, the two of them make eye contact and Luka’s grip tightens, face pinched. There’s a quick flashback to Scorpion, just a shot through Luka’s POV, his hands shaking as he activates Second Chance. Rose yelps as another cloud of flour kicks up in her face and he puts the guitar down to assist.

Next comes the Bourgeois family, obviously, nobody here is a cook in any stretch of the imagination, so Andre, Chloe, and Amber are celebrating in a mostly chill way, combining the french traditions with a few of the American ones Amber grew up with. There’s a sound of thumping footsteps nearing the room the three of them are in, and Amber freezes, Chloe reaches over and takes her hand (both of them are covered in frosting from the gingerbread houses they’re making) And Andre stands, he takes a breath and Pats Amber’s head before leaving the room, you can hear Audrey’s voice shouting indistinctly. 

Before we continue that trainwreck in the making we shift to Alya, chasing around Ella and Etta what else is new, The twins eagerly shouting about their proposed gifts from Santa this year. Alya is tiredTM but before she can try to catch up with the little terrors, Nino’s voice comes booming in, the two girls getting cut off by Nino and scooped up into his arms. Alya thanks him for coming over, that she knows it must be weird to be at a Christmas thing when his family doesn’t even celebrate. Nino shrugs, says that he might as well get used to it, knowing this country, besides, it’s not like they don’t do ANYTHING, they still get presents for Noel so the blabbermouth wouldn’t ruin the ‘Santa’ illusion for his friends. 

Marinette is working in the bakery, it’s crunch time, and people are coming in for last minute pastries and desserts. She’s on the register, her parents in the kitchen. A lot of adult cameos come through here, Nadja picking up a cake, Pigeon Man getting the best oat pastries for his bird friends, etc etc, a lot of people we haven’t seen in awhile. Penny picking up an American style gingerbread for Jagged, Most of the College teachers, haven’t seen them in awhile have we? Bustier asks with genuine interest how Lycee’s been treating her, it’s pretty cute, even as she leaves after getting her moonpies. Marinette’s hand hesitates over the macaron’s she was about to pack up for M. Damocles. For a moment flashing back to Fu telling them he’d have to go back into hiding, That at this juncture it’ll be safer to keep the Miraculous’ spread out. 

She remembers Marianne admitting that she still has some business in Versailles before she could move back to Paris properly, the idea of Fu going into hiding is far less ‘living with the love of his life quietly’ and more ‘a man nearly two hundred alone in the Paris winter’ Marinette’s expression tightens. And luckily the Bakery closes right then. The last person to arrive in through the business doors being, surprisingly Roland. He’s wearing an ancient looking christmas sweater, and asks if he’s the first to arrive. Sabine responds that Gina’s and Wang are already upstairs, and her parents are due to fly in at around four. Roland answers that at least the lot of them know how to celebrate proper holidays, to which Sabine and Tom exchange a look, Marinette suppresses a laugh. Sabine tells him to head on up, that her Uncle will fill him in.

“So you’re gonna let Uncle Wang tell him we don’t actually celebrate Christmas, huh?” Marinette teases, to which Sabine huffs and flips her hair. 

“We split the burden where we can!” She responds. Marinette’s grin fades, and she asks, quietly, if the house would be too packed for her to invite someone else over for the holiday. He’s Adrien’s Mandarin teacher, she met him during her time interning for Gabriel Agreste, and they’d bonded since he grew up just outside of Shanghai, where Sabine grew up. He doesn’t have any family left and he’s really old so she worries about what the weather’s doing to him. Marinette keeps babbling about this before Sabine puts her hands on her shoulders. She tells her to get going, and if she has anyone else that may end up coming along (wink wink) to tell THEM that it's a potluck so they won’t run out of food; Marinette smiles and rushes upstairs to get her snow gear, just as You can hear Roland shout “What do you MEAN THIS ISN’T A CHRISTMAS GATHERING?!”

We then reach Agreste Manor, barren of decoration or company, Adrien, who's been doing his best this whole time to try and keep upbeat, is tired of this. Fidde and Plagg shoot him a look from their hiding spot in his scarf, and he knocks on his father’s door. No answer, he grumbles and pushes the door open anyway. Adrien’s aggravation fades when he sees his father, slumped over his desk, arms folded and staring into nothing, he doesn’t even seem to be aware Adrien was there for a moment. But Adrien speaks and startles him out of his trance, he quickly puts himself back together and, tersely, asks Adrien why he’s deigned to interrupt him while he’d been explicitly looking for privacy.

Adrien, fire gone, is nervous now, asking if maybe he’d like to Do something? For the holiday? They missed All Souls’ Day back at the beginning of November, and Adrien really misses spending time together. Gabriel, still looking a bit out of it, bags prominent under his eyes and hair slightly mussed, seems unable to keep his usual stony facade up, seems to seriously consider this. Trying to be encouraging, Adrien offers a hand to his father. “We can try to make dinner ourselves and nerely blow up the kitchen?” he offers. 

For like a full moment it seems like this is what's about to happen, but his computer chimes with a voice that reads ‘Urgent message from: Nathalie’, Gabriel’s expression hardens over, and he tells Adrien maybe tomorrow. 

Adrien’s hand drops and he looks away, brow furrowed. But he sighs and accepts, though his voice is still venomous “Okay, can I go over to Kagami’s then? Since this isn’t an important day or a holiday of any kind, I just happen to have the whole day off for no reason so why not visit my shinto girlfriend who doesn’t celebrate any western holidays?” 

Gabriel’s jaw clenches but he sighs, for just a moment seeming equally distraught that this is what their families Christmases have become, before waving a hand and letting him go. 

As Adrien leaves he not-so subtly undoes his scarf to let his leather choker be seen as he slips out. Fiddle and Plagg stay hidden of course, but just as a “subtle” thing. Before we cut away he places a hand to Valdamir’s chest and tells him to go home Early, he just… REALLY needs to cool off. It's Christmas, barely anybody’s out in the snow; just go home, spend some time Early with his family. Vladamir smiles and pats Adrien’s head affectionately.

Finally we cut to Fu, The massage shop long since abandoned as he only has a backpack about as big as he is tall and a suitcase, and of course, the Miracle box. He’s got a little campsite underneath a bridge, to any onlooker appearing as any Vagabond. Orikko is cuddled up to his chin and Fu remarks that it’s been too long since he did this last, a thick jacket is wrapped around his shoulders, but he still looks cold. 

A shadow passes overhead, but when Fu Looks up there’s nothing. He huffs and his phone begins to ring. He smiles and when he answers the caller with ‘Darling’ we know it’s Marianne. Dire straights does not mean misery after all.

The shadow in question is, who else, but Tsering Wan, but he’s not attacking, not just yet, just keeping an eye on Fu, keeping tabs. He skitters from his hiding spot, the scorpion’s dark suit standing out against the snow, but remains unnoticed. And just as Adrien is seen Marching away from Agreste Manor, Vladimir trailing behind him before they part ways, Tsering Wan slips in.

“Anything?” Nathalie’s voice greets him.

“He hides like a coward. Under bridges, separated from the greatest powers of the box.” Tsering Wan sneers “Clever coward he is, he knew better than to keep as many Miraculous as possible where we could find him.” 

“But we do know where he’s currently set up base.” Nathalie responds easily. “So we can track him from there should he decide to change locations.” 

“Indeed.” Wan destransforms, and strides forward to sit across from Nathalie where she’s puzzling over the Grimoire. “Give that to me, it’s useless without guardian training.” Nathalie grumbles as the book is ripped from her, but Wan pages through the book easily.

“Knowing Fu he’s already given the heroes the Potions. Those forms with tails or wings that aid them in survival in more severe straits Though there are other uses.” he explains.

“We’ve seen a few of them, the Aqua forms and the Space forms. Are there more?”

“The Sea Potion and the Star Potion. There are five more. The Tundra Potion for Severe cold, The Flame Potion for Severe heat, The Sky potion for flight too close for the Star Potion to be useful. The Light potion for increased power output in exchange for a halved time limit, and the Dark potion for a doubled time limit in exchange for a weaker power output.”

Nathalie humms in thought. “That explains quite a lot. Do… do you think if one combined the light and dark potions something could-”

“Nothing would happen, the two balance eachother out.” Wan cuts her off. “The Seven potions are not unlike the seven Miraculous at the top of the Miracle Box you’re used to seeing. Light and Dark are Yin and Yang, always balanced, always evening eachother out, and the other five are not as strong as either of the two.”

“Do any of the potions, or perhaps a poorly assembled one, have some sort of negative affect on the Miraculous unless cured?”

“You wonder why Duusuu is slowly killing you.” Leave it to a revenge fueled old man to cut to the core. “That, I cannot tell you. The best I can surmise is that she is severely low on energy and cannot create Projections on her own. Thus she’s taking from your life force to use her magic.” He shakes his head. “Only an Order Healer would be able to help her, so you must hold on until my family reaches Paris.” 

“Is that really the only way?” Gabriel of course interrupts, he still looks…. In a really bad way somehow he looks worse than when Adrien found him. “Isn’t this False Guardian Fu trained as a healer? If you know where he is, couldn’t we find him and Force him to help us?”

Wan seems barely able to restrain himself from rolling his eyes at Gabriel. “Even through force I would never allow myself to look for that traitor’s assistance, even if we were able to subdue him he’d simply refuse to partake, and Miss Nathalie would remain ill. Surely you have better sense than that, Hawkmoth?”

Nathalie suppresses a church giggle or two. 

Gabriel stiffens, and snaps back that he doesn’t care about either of their stupid pride, he just doesn’t want his sister in law to DIE because they’d rather wait on a healer to travel all the way from Tibet to France than just swallow their pride for the HOUR TOPS it would take to ask someone who already lives here. A bit on the mean side, going on to Say that Emilie would be calling Nathalie a prideful idiot if she was here.

“Don’t speak for her like that!” Nathalie jumps to her feet, her point undermined by another painful throb to her head.

“Then don’t undermine what she was trying to accomplish by letting that thing KILL YOU FASTER!”

“You know what?! You ALWAYS get like this around the holidays! It’s like you just start GIVING UP once the snow starts falling! You did it last year and I had to take up the butterfly before you got your shit together and here you are now! ‘Ooohhh Emilie loves Christmas I’m so sad that she’s still in a coma’ like what do you think we’re DOING here?!”

“Honestly at this point I don’t know! This was supposed to be about our family, About bringing Emilie back and letting our world be whole again, but that’s not what THIS is! This is revenge and warring factions and You JOINED this whole thing because it was for Adrien, but have you even spoken to him at all today?”

“He has my gift! It’ll come out when he needs it! More than you’ve done for him this year!” 

Gabriel’s face turns scarlet, and he pivots on his heel and marches away. 

We match cut to Adrien marching through the snow, eyes trained on the ground, and Plagg and Fidde hovering over him. 

“Kid, Your old man’s ALWAYS been a disappointment”

“Yule is what you make of it! It’s the midpoint of the year, halfway out of the dark, we shouldn’t hold ourselves to the darkness just because it's easier.”

“Besides, like half of your friends don’t even CELEBRATE why treat it like a big deal?”

Adrien rounds the corner and is taken a bit aback, it turned out his feet had taken him to the Dupain-Cheng Patisserie, not Kagami’s house. He looks at Plagg who shrugs. 

“Miss Marinette doesn’t Celebrate Yule, does she?” Fidde pipes up “Mayhaps we should drop in and say hello!”

Adrien sighs and smiles slightly at the building. “Sure, might be better than going to Kagami's all pissed off and snappy.”

But just as he’s approaching, the door opens up in front of him, marinette all ready in winter gear and with a small duffel bag packed full of warm things. They both yelp as they merely collide with one another.

“Adrien! What are you doing around here?”

Adrien, taken aback for just a moment longer than her, blinks and just directly says “I couldn’t stay in that house with things like that, needed to see a friendly face.”

Marinette smiles, half sympathetic, but honestly happy. 

“Well I literally just turned into a woman on a mission, I convinced Maman to let Fu join us for the family reunion… potluck. He shouldn’t have to be alone in winter like this. Not with Marianne all the way in Versailles.”  

Adrien, seemingly on instinct, offers to help her look for him. That it’d be easier with more than one of them about. Marinette agrees, and pauses for a second before handing him the duffel bag. With a ‘Wait right here!’ she darts back inside and comes back out with a black and green wrapped gift.

“I was gonna save this for patrols, but you know, just ‘cuz I don’t celebrate doesn’t mean you don’t. Merry Christmas Adrien.” She offers him the gift, her cheeks lightly flushed from her dash to get the gift, her eyes seemingly sparkling against the snow.

Adrien’s breath catches when he accepts the gift and puts it in his bag beside Plagg and Fidde. 

Marinette takes the Duffel Bag back and walks past him saying out loud that they might have a better chance in the sky than on the ground, but since he’s the one having a rough night it’s his call. 

She looks back at Adrien to get his opinion, but he’s unfocused, Adrien.exe has stopped responding. 

“Really has been that rough of a day, huh?” She gently shakes his shoulder to snap him out of it and repeats herself. Adrien’s face is beet red when he says he’ll just transform and take the south side. 

They both transform when convenient and part ways.

Fiddle is still out when Chat races across the skyline. He wonders aloud what’s got Adrien so spooked, Miss Marinette was just being her lovely charming self! 

To which Chat, the slightest bit hysterically, says that that’s the problem! He thought back when he was Aspik that’s all that he’d needed to do, to just admit to himself that he hadn’t been able to shut down his stupid feelings and properly internalize he didn’t have a chance. Marinette has a boyfriend, Maybe he’d had a chance long ago, maybe if he’d known she was Ladybug before, or, or just had been less of a punk obsessed with ‘true love’ and gone for her as Marinette, maybe, but he’d missed the boat and He DOES like Kagami.

He stops in the middle of a rooftop. Re asserts that he does like Kagami. He does get all the telltale signs of liking someone. When she smirks at him over their fencing foils, or when she’d actually let herself laugh around him, or that time he had tea with her brother and she was so embarrassed her whole face turned red! He got the butterflies, and the feeling of his whole brain turning into goo, and everything that would indicate that he’s not faking it for her!

So why can’t it go away when it comes to Marinette?! Why can’t he just focus on Kagami and let it be, does that mean he really IS leading her on? Has he been toying with her this whole time? Ohhhh fuck. He turns heel and books it over to the Tsurugi household.

Answering the door is, of course, Kenji. He smiles with a face full of mischief and asks Adrien what dastardly holiday indoctrination plans he has for his sister, but after a beat Realizes that Adrien is… not okay.  So instead of insisting on playing around more, Kenji just kinda hums a quick ‘oh it's been THAT bad huh?’ and leads him inside, shouting in Japanese something to Kagami, which is quickly shouted in response. 

Quickly Kagami darts into the hall the boys were in, her normal everyday outfit on, and her expression tightens before she grabs Adrien and leads him to her bedroom.

“Alright, what happened?” Kagami is no nonsense as usual, but she puts her hand on Adrien’s shoulder and seems legit tender. 

Adrien looks even worse at that, eyes filling with tears for a moment before he looks down, eyes squeezed shut. “I’m a terrible boyfriend and you should break up with me.”

Kagami blinks. “What?”

“Actually no- you know, that’s cruel to put that on you- I shouldn’t be- I’m the one who’s the problem so I… I’ll just leave. I can’t treat you like you deserve to be treated and you should have someone way less gross than-”

Kagami’s grip on his shoulder tightens, her expression severe. “You’re not making any sense. Why are you being so disparaging? Who told you these things?”

“Nobody told me, they didn’t have to! You deserve way better than me and I can’t treat you-”

“Adrien i’m not breaking up with you on your word alone-”

“I have feelings for someone else! I don’t want to, but they’re not stopping and I don’t want to lead you on or leave you out to dry!”

A pause, Kagami actually seems shocked for a moment.

“You stupid boy-”

“IKNOWIMSTUPIDIMSORRYILLLEAVEYOUALONEFOREVERNOWBYE” Adrien cuts her off and darts out of her room. Leaving Kagami alone.

Well… not alone.

“Well that was certainly something.” Longg hums “Viperion and Ladybug seemed sure that things were going to get more dangerous from here on, perhaps it's a good thing that he gave you a path out.”

Kagami’s silent as she pulls out her phone. “I’ll just bring up Adrien’s name when we’re considering whom the rabbit should go to.”

“He has feelings for another.” Longg restates.

“...I already knew that. He never really got over whomever he was chasing before.” She smiles ruefully “If anything this is my own fault for going against my standards in not allowing myself to be an ‘Option’ But it seems I’m not ready to let him go just yet.”

She dials the phone and holds it up to her ear ‘Hi! This is Marinette Dupain-Cheng! Please leave a message!’

Damn.

Speaking of Marinette though, we’re back with her. Picking up where Adrien last saw her, she first starts at the Massage parlor, empty, figures. She huffs and for a moment the first real meeting the two of them had played back. The Grimoire heavy in her hands and Tikki’s encouraging voice in her ear, the massage parlor is of course empty, but it’s sad to see it so barren. The architecture emulating a chinese home but with nothing homey inside. She huffs.

“Obviously he’s not here. Stupid…” 

Callid peeks their head out of Marinette’s pigtail, chirping that it was still worth it to check, he may have left a clue. No dice, but that doesn’t mean it was a bad idea.

So Ladybug keeps looking, paging through parks and alleyways, benches outside of zoos and aquariums, and even at the assisted living home. Nothing. 

Until, eventually, she ducks underneath a certain bridge to gather her thoughts. And lo and behold, on a complete accident- “Master!” He looks different than he used to when presenting in front of her. Back bent not in age but weariness. The thin trail of smoke from a pipe curling around him. The Miracle box rested against his hip, but she realizes with a shock that he didn’t even bring the gramophone he would hide the box in.

“Ladybug, how kind to visit even the loneliest of Paris at a time like this.”

He’s acting like he doesn’t know her, but Ladybug sits down beside him anyway and makes her offer. 

“Thank you for your hospitality Marinette, but I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

“Neither do we.” Fu Pauses, and Marinette continues. “Ba wasn’t interested in celebrating after he and Grandpa had their falling out, so we just used the day as an excuse to shut down the bakery for a few days and have a family reunion with my mom’s side. Grandma shows up every so often for a Christmas thing or two, and this the first year that Grandpa is going to be here. It’s still not a Christmas thing though. My maternal grandparents and my great Uncle will be there too.”

“Marinette, I would hate to intrude on your family’s reunion simply because I must go into hiding.”

“I already asked Maman and she said it was alright!”

“Your mother is very generous, but I cannot accept such kindness when I should be keeping anyone from harm should Tsering Wan-”

“Master I understand! You’re afraid of Tsering Wan hurting somebody, but I’m afraid of him finding you alone and hurting YOU! You can’t tell me that you’ll be okay with so little to your name! You can barely hold a transformation anymore, let alone handle homelessness. Let us at least get you some better supplies.” 

Fu sighs, and finally relents. 

Marinette takes a second to open her Yoyo into the phone feature, saying aloud that she’s just gonna need a sec to sync up with her civilian phone. One secooonnnddddd ah! There it is!

She realizes then that she’s got two voicemails waiting. From Kagami?

“Hello Marinette, it’s Kagami. I’m not entirely sure why, but there’s something the matter with Adrien, he’s being very erratic and attempted to convince me to break up with him, insisting he was somehow being a ‘bad boyfriend’ and running away. I fear if I attempt to pursue him that stubborn streak of his will act up and he’ll try to run from me again. I hate to ask this of you, but your family doesn’t celebrate Christmas either so i don’t feel too bad. Do you think you could see what-BEEP”

“What’s Wrong with him. Apologies, your voicemail cut me off. Please keep me updated if you do so, but it’s alright if you chose not to. Call me back when you receive this. Goodbye”

There’s a small silence between Marinette and Fu as the voicemails end. “Well, that’s timing. Would you like to come with and help out our poor tormented cat or Should i escort you to my house first?”

“I’d hate to impose on your family without your presence, perhaps I'll wait here and you may come retrieve me afterward?”

“You won’t run off while I’m gone and make me track you down all over again will you?”

“I’m old Ladybug, not senile.”

Adrien is of course, on the Eiffel tower, where else would he be? He’s transformed, jittery. “Come on… Calm in the storm… silence in the mayhem or whatever….” He grumbles eyes squeezed shut. “Just tune it all out. Nothing past this exterior….” He growls, before flopping backward. “Man Screw meditating.”

His staff beeps. He’s got a call from Ladybug. Ignored. “Sorry Mari, don’t take it personally.”

There’s a pause, he gets another call from Ladybug. Ignored. “Look, I just can’t be around you right now! I should be far away from this.” He looks away, eyes downcast “Stupid terrible boyfriend that can’t even get his head on straight on what girl he wants.”

He gets a call from Carapace, which he answers. “What’s up bro? Thought you were with Rena.”

“Chat Noir you better have a GOOD explanation for ignoring me like that!” 

“You got Carapace to call me for you?”

“Why are you ignoring my calls? We were looking for the guardian together, what if something happened to him? Or there was an Akuma? Chat I know you’re going through stuff right now but you have-BEEP-”

We cut back to Ladybug as Chat hangs up. “DAMMIT. Why is he always Like This? Just once, just ONCE can he talk about his problems like a big boy?!”

We zoom out to see Ladybug Carapace and Rena atop of Alya’s house. 

Rena: “So we’re going to get him?”

Ladybug: “Oh obviously, He’s at the Eiffel Tower, I could tell from the wind.”

Before she could hop off though, Ladybug gets another call waiting, this time with a little cartoon tiger claw on it.

“Jungle Queen?”

“....okay first off, I picked a real name, it’s Cheshire, can we stop with the Jungle Queen? It sounds SO much lamer than Queen Bee.”

“Okay….?”

“And Second, Please tell me there’s an akuma about. PLEASE.”

“....Chloe are you okay?”

“No, Mom strong armed her way past the guard Father had at our suite and Amber had to lock herself in the bathroom to hide from her.”

“Oh!... well uh… Adrien’s having some Issues at the Eiffel Tower, if you guys would like to come help a friend?”

“Perfect!”

Adrien has detransformed now, sitting with his legs dangling over the side of the tower, he’s scrolling through his phone, photos one after another illuminating his screen. We see some candids of Team Miraculous, a selfie here or there with himself and Nino, a small barrage of selfies of him and Kagami on the few dates they’d been able to actually have, his expression tightens.

He reaches a picture of Ladybug, one of the old ones in her old suit. Then is a candid of Marinette, getting ready for that fake date with Evillistrator all that time ago, Chloe had just finished putting up her hair and She was nervously double checking that her dress was in order. 

His finger hovers over the ‘delete’ button for a moment, his expression hard, before he huffs and swipes away to rest on a photo of his mother. “You’re such a coward, Agreste…”

“CACOPHONY! CHAT NOIR YOU LITTLE PUNK YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN GHOST US LIKE THAT?!” Chloe’s voice shakes the air around him and he transforms more out of reflex than anything else. 

A glowing swarm of bees starts zipping through the air and Chat turns, about to Haul ass out of there, but right behind him is, of course Rena. Looking not impressed.

“Going off to Angst as Chat is one thing, but stop being a little punk for like three seconds Adrien, jeez…”

There’s a playful scuffle, Chat still trying to avoid anyone and everyone, but eventually he’s pinned between Cheshire and Carapace. “Promise you won’t run.”

Adrien sighs and relents. He’s released of course, but seems about to go back on his own promise when Ladybug crouches in front of him and asks him to explain.

But he does.

Not everything. But he explains the beginning of it all. Two years since Mom died and they’re still not celebrating anything, Dad’s getting worse, and he keeps SAYING things about how he wants to get better and wants to repair things with him but he keeps pulling away. Nathalie used to be on his side but she’s been pulling away too, and it feels like he’s fighting a losing battle. It’s like Vlad is the only one who’s still in his corner but he can only do so much. No one in the house other than him seems to even be willing to ACKNOWLEDGE Mom’s death, so he can’t even be allowed to move on without two of the three other people in the house not-so-subtly implying that it’s a betrayal to Mom to do so.

Sure Dad’s DOING more, he’s getting out of the house, but he still won’t even say that she’s dead, he keeps saying ‘gone’ like she’ll walk through the damn door any minute, and he’s starting to get really tired of it. And also, he’s a terrible boyfriend and Kagami deserves way better than him. (the last part sounding tacked on and rushed, like he REALLY doesn’t want to get into it) 

There’s a pause, Chloe and Amber’s transformations fade, timers running out. Marinette turns back as well, this time on purpose and pulls out her phone. “Hey Kagami, it’s Marinette, yeah we found Adrien-....oh Me, Nino, Alya, Chloe, and Amber. Yeah it goes a little deeper than whatever he told you. Really? Thank you! We’ll be there shortly.”

When she turns back to Adrien he avoids her eye. Her lips pinch in frustration. “Kagami says we should all head over to her place. She’ll have some tea ready for everybody.”

We cut quickly to the Tsurugi house, Kagami, Marinette, Alya and Amber in a pain sitting room, the four of them with cups of tea (though Marinette’s is untouched) and Chloe, Nino, and Adrien are in an adjoining room, able to hear, but whenever either glances at Adrien he curls tighter in on himself. 

Kagami tells her part of what happened, what Adrien had told her before running off. Her expression is unreadable, but her gaze is fixated on her cup and away from anyone else.

Marinette doesn’t hesitate though and takes her into her arms, holding her tight.

“I’ll be fine Marinette.”

“Shush. Just hug.” Kagami hesitates, but eventually leans into it.

After that, it seems as though a lightbulb strikes Alya. “Ohhhhh…. Hey Marinette, remember valentines day back in College?”

“Huh? Uhhhh kinda? Kim turned into an Akuma? Chat Noir got hit with one of his arrows and was all grouchy and uncooperative…. So I saw on the Ladyblog at least! Hahah I wasn’t there!” Nervous laughter. “And-oh….” Realization passes over Marinette’s face. “The Valentine.”

“The Valentine.” Alya nods. “And he did always seem… hung up over it afterward too. Remember Glaciator?”

“Crap.”

“Wait-” Amber Chimes in. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Marinette.” Alya answers, uneasily. “Adrien’s still into Marinette.”

Kagami stiffens, Marinette pales, then flusters. Adrien Eavesdrops.

We cut then back to Agreste Manor. Nathalie and Wan are still talking, the sun has nearly set by now. 

“Perhaps you should check in on your brother.” Wan offers. Nathalie shakes her head, expression still bitter. 

“He’s not a baby. He doesn’t need me everywhere to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid.”

“However, it is a holiday, and perhaps he does need his sister in the absence of his wife.”

“She was my sister before she was his wife.”

“Even so.”

Nathalie huffs “Fine. I’ll go check on him.”

She stands and makes her way toward Gabriel’s office. 

Gabriel is… not okay. His Miraculous is flashing, implying strong emotions that could become an akuma, he doesn’t seem interested at first, chatting idly with Nooroo about Adrien. 

That he’s hiding something… That dog wielder they’d fought on occasion… do you think…? No. That would be ridiculous. That his Son had had a Miraculous under his roof and Gabriel had not immediately known. How ridiculous.

Nooroo is normally sassy or quietly sad, but right now he’s on edge, and it’s clear why; Gabriel Agreste is starting to spiral, and that could lead to something very bad.

Nathalie enters right then, at first asking if he’s alright, but at his sudden silence makes a jab at his inability to communicate. 

“Well if you would like to see what has me so stressed maybe you should take Nooroo and see for yourself!” he snaps. “There’s a possible Akuma about.” he finally settles on.

“And?”

“It’s… It’s Adrien.”

It’s not really a debate, it’s not even a conversation, as Nathalie simply stands there, half in shock, as Gabriel begins to pace.

We begin to clip back and forth now, from Agreste Manor to the Tsurugi Estate. 

Nino asks Adrien if it's true, if he’s kept that kinda thing from everyone-from Kagami; Nathalie asks Gabriel if he’s really considering this

Adrien says it's not like that; Gabriel insists he’d never do so.

Plagg and Fidde chime in, saying that he really has been trying, he just sucks at it; Nooroo insisting that Gabriel isn’t Past the point of no return yet, that there’s always a chance to do better.

“Can you guys leave me alone please?”; “Leave me be.”

 “Just because I can’t stop liking someone it doesn’t mean I’m FAKING liking someone else! You can like more than one person at a time!”; “We are a family first and foremost!”

Marinette peeks in, Kagami behind her “Adrien…?”; Wan approaches behind Nathalie and idly remarks “You were right he DOES lack conviction.”

Adrien reaches into his bag and pulls out a red and white box, throwing it to the ground in an attempt to make a loud noise “I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE”; “I SAID LEAVE ME BE!” 

The box barely makes more than a ‘thump’ as it hits the ground, something makes a rattling noise. 

“What IS that?” Nino asks, the tension thankfully broken. “Dude did you just throw someone’s christmas present to the ground to make us leave?” 

Chloe laughs “Hope it wasn’t mine.”

“Huh…? I thought it was the one Marinette made for me-”

“Rude.” Marinette answers “But incorrect, your gift from me was black and green.”

“Well now I just feel gross…” Adrien chuckles wryly “I mean I already did but..”

“Who is it from?” Alya asks after a beat, but before Adrien can answer she crouches down and picks it up herself “Your dad’s assistant?”

We cut back to Gabriel, he’s mumbling to himself, in the elevator to the Lair. his voice is indistinct, but you can hear ‘family’ being stated every so often if you listen closely, his eyes are distant, foggy, and the broach is clutched tightly in his fist, the purple flash of light barely visible. But once he reaches the lair, gazes upon Amilie’s pod, he states, steadily, that Family supports each other when they’re struggling.

Nathalie is quick behind him, but she gets there only after he’s transformed, but the purple suit and silver cowl are not what greets her. No, the internal barrier has been broken, the threshold has been passed. Hawkmoth gets an outfit upgrade. 

“We started this as a family, and that’s how we’ll end it.”

He’s done it, finally hit rock bottom.

The VHS gets put into an old dusty player in some unknown room in the Tsurugi estate, granny and staticky, the feed crackles to life. 

There’s at first an empty living room, transposed with a ‘this was made in the 1980’s type quality, A little cardboard sign is held over the sight in a shaky marker decrying what one is about to see is ‘The greatest movie ever!’ 

A head of long blonde hair runs away from the camera and when the little girl turns Adrien splutters, pauses the video, and gets up to look in closely. She’s maybe 7 or 8, but it’s clear, obvious. It’s his mother. 

The little video continues, a space opera through a child’s eyes, and She pulls out a rocketship, nestled in the cardboard is a little girl with dark hair and blue eyes. 

“Nathalie! That’s your cue!” 

Adrien chokes in surprise, exclaiming out loud, as Nathalie looks around confused, she’s maybe 3 or 4 in the video but says something that ‘sounds like an alien’ the video continues until Emilie knocks the camera over during her dramatic fight scene, the tennis ball covered in tissue paper she exclaims is a hand grenade bouncing off the camera and sending it crashing.

“Oh no! Is the camera-”

The film continues playing, little snapshots of childhood, Emilie and Nathalie Sancour, growing up over the years. Emilie’s first role in a school play, Nathalie’s debate when she ran for student council, the last clip is Emilie going to a dance, his maternal grandparents exclaiming at her cute dress. Nathalie remarks from above her book that this Gabriel guy seems like a total weiner. She’s SO out of his league.

The video ends.

There’s quiet for a moment. And then chaos ensues. Not from the others, the others were only a little stunned, but all eyes turned to Adrien. 

He’s entirely in shock, and he starts muttering.

“Nathalie… and my mom are… sisters? They… they never told me, why didn’t they tell me? Why did they always say Nathalie was Father’s assistant? I'd never asked my own mother’s maiden name, why did I  never ask that? Why was it KEPT from me?! Why was that a secret in the first place?! Who hides a family relationship like that? Like it’s some dark ugly secret but the two of them still see eachother every day?!” He stands up and begins to pace, he’s still talking though.

“And Father wouldn’t have kept that from me, I KNOW I have an Uncle that father doesn’t talk to, if it was anyone’s decision it wasn’t fathers. MY MOTHER and NATHALIE hid this from me. I thought they were on my Side and they HID this from me?! I- I can’t believe this, this is BULLSHIT i-”

His hands are shaking but he quickly removes his ring and thrusts it in Nino’s general direction. 

It’s a good thing he does, because just as the ring drops into Nino’s hand Amber yelps in alarm, and sure enough a black butterfly had phased through the wall and was making a beeline for Adrien.

Adrien scurries back, more out of instinct, eyes still far away. Chloe, taking action and flashing back to Ex Friend, removes the fake bee comb from her hair and tries to intercept the Akuma herself, but it clearly does not want her. Narrowly avoiding being taken in by Chloe. 

Meanwhile everyone else has quickly closed rank around Adrien. Nino shouting about how Adrien’s an awesome dude and he cannot and WILL NOT let this thing shake him. Alya insisting that he can handle anything that she believes in him and if CHLOE can fight off an Akuma he should be able to too!

Kagami is saying nothing, but she’s wrapped her arms tight around Adrien’s shoulders. Marinette says quietly that He’s one of the best friends she’s ever had, and that they’re there for him, but her eyes are focused entirely on the Akuma. Her teeth are grit, and she’s clearly trying not to panic. 

The voices all blur together into one horrible din, and Adrien’s hands clamp over his ears. Muttering ‘Calm in the storm’ over and over, trying to find his center. 

His eyes squeeze shut and tears begin to bud. We see in his thoughts for a moment. His father spiralling further and further, The venom in his voice whenever he says his mother isn’t dead, she’s just gone. His mother and Aunt’s home video, then Maman and Nathalie speaking like coworkers. Marinette, Kagami, Ladybug, Ryuuko, Kagami’s shy blush on their first real date, Marinette on Luka’s arm looking perfectly content. The Scorpion with his wicked looking spear, the fear on Master Fu’s face when they saw him alive, Hawkmoth and Le Paon.

The Grimoire in his father’s safe. 

The Butterfly on the Gabriel Designs logo.

Adrien’s breath hitches, he starts to sob.

The Akuma is a hair’s breadth away.

“TIKKI TRANSFORM ME”

A yoyo swipes through the air and catches the Akuma a split second before it hits his scarf.

Everyone is huffing for breath and Ladybug releases the purified butterfly, muttering a quick ‘No evildoing for you today little akuma.’

Ladybug collapses to the ground in front of Adrien and detransforms, still huffing for breath. 

“Marinette what the fuck.” Kagami’s voice is the first to ring in the silence.

Marinette’s eyes widen and she jumps back to her feet, her face pale as a ghost. She nervously, a bit hysterically, begins to chuckle. “Okay so uh… yeah I’m Ladybug, and I’m really sorry that ALL SIX OF YOU had to find out like this! At once right this moment with no foreknowledge about me being ladybug whatsoever”

“Not a single other person in this room is surprised but me.” Kagami cuts her off, clearly a bit overwhelmed at everything that has happened in one afternoon. “I have a headache.”

“....Welcome to the Order of Miraculous?” Nino tries 

“Fu’s gonna kill us.” Alya adds in.

Hard cut to the bridge Fu had been staying under, Sure enough he was still there. 

Adrien is sandwiched between Chloe and Nino again, Chloe’s showing him cat videos on her phone, Nino’s apologizing for not seeing the signs that he was still hung up on Marinette, he could have DONE something about it before it got this bad.

Fu, in specific, is sitting with Marinette, Alya, Amber and Kagami, as an explanation is given. He hums, is clearly none too pleased.

“It would have been incredibly dire circumstances if Chat Noir had been Akumatized, even if he only had the dog on hand at the time. While it was thoughtless of you Marinette, I can acknowledge that this was the lesser of two dire outcomes. Thankfully Miss Tsurugi was already trusted with the Dragon, so we do not have to worry quite as much about the reveal than if she’d been untested.” Fu pauses. “Miss Tsurugi, we have two avenues for you. While you made your decision to fight alongside your fellow wielders, that decision didn’t at the time mean all of… this. If you wish to leave, we can arrange your parting from the order, Or if you desire to stay, and continue to fight alongside us, then you must take an oath.”

“What is this Oath?”

“A powerful magic. A promise sworn on the Miracle Box in that you will do all in your power to protect the Miraculous and your teammates from those who may cause harm. If this oath were to be broken, your Kwami will then be under strict orders to return themself to the guardian at all costs.”

“I see…” She hums. “Well I have no plans in backing out at this point. It would be dishonorable to leave now simply because things are becoming… difficult. So I will take this oath.” She looks down at her hand for a moment. “Is there a ceremonial knife with which to make this blood oath or should I provide my own?”

Fu splutters and Marinette seems to choke on air.

“It- It’s not a blood pact Miss Tsurugi… Place your hand over the Miracle Box. That- that’s all.”

Kagami does so. “Kagami Tsurugi, do you swear, on your life and your immortal spirit, to protect the Miraculous you guard with all of your strength?”

“I swear it on my life, spirit, and heart. The Dragon will never be abused by the forces of darkness for all that i still have Longg’s wind in my lungs, his water in my blood, and his lightning in my heart.”

Marinette has her face in her hands, but her grin is wide and a bit wobbly. She’s so gd chuffed rn. She REALLY picked right with Kagami.

“I’m sorry Kagami.” Adrien’s voice finally chimes in, he’s pulled away from Chloe and Nino, arms folded and eyes to the ground. Her expression tightens for a moment before it settles into her natural cool look.

“I always knew, you know.” She responds. “It was clear that you still had feelings for another; For Marinette.” She ignored Marinette’s sudden shrinking into herself as she stood and approached Adrien. “I told myself that I'd never be anyone’s rebound.” Adrien flinches “And I don’t think that’s what happened. I know you weren’t lying to me, not after what’s already happened. You may have feelings for another but you also have them for me as well.”

Adrien looks up at Kagami and seems so relieved, Kagami can’t help but smile back. “However, I feel at this juncture, both with the darkening battle and new revelations, I feel as though it may be prudent if we focus more on our friendship and relationship as teammates over our relationship as a couple. If romantic entanglements are causing you this much distress, perhaps it's for the best to take a break from them entirely.”

“It will make my own and Marinette’s friendship easier as well, that our friendship may be strengthened without the pressure of being pointedly aware that my own boyfriend has romantic feelings for my friend.” 

“YES THANK YOU KAGAMI WE’RE ALL AWARE OF THAT FACTOID NOW CAN WE STOP MENTIONING IT PLEASE?” Poor Marinette 

“God am I glad Adrien turned me down back in college so I don’t have to deal with this bullshit.” And somehow, just like that, things are okay again.

Adrien sighs and though he looks like he’s more relieved than sad, it's probably because he’s been through the emotional wringer today.

But the day isn’t over yet.

“Master, I have some concerns.”

The lot of them are now packing up Fu’s little setup, Kagami being caught up on what they know so far by Alya, Nino and Chloe are wrestling the blankets and cloth that Fu had been using to keep out the elements into his big overstuffed backpack, Amber putting out the fire (it’s being stubborn with her) And Marinette has the Miracle Box, taking double and triple inventory.

“Yes Adrien?”

“My mother died of illness two years ago, and uh… how do I say this… Nathalie’s her sister and she started showing the same symptoms mom had at the start of it. I don’t know if its genetic or not, but she didn’t start showing symptoms until Hawkmoth had her take the peacock and had her be Mayura way back during Catalyst. Can Miraculouses… accelerate illness? Is there something wrong with the peacock? Is there any way to cure it?

“And-I… I know that’s a LOT of conjecture on my part, it’s a bunch of HUGE ‘if’s all strung together, but if Father really does have some sort of connection to Hawkmoth like we’ve all been thinking… then...any man exposed to that would be desperate enough to make a deal with someone terrible in exchange for a wish… Nathalie might be working with them too.”

Fu looks down for a moment, hand resting on his chin before nodding. “We have no way to tell for sure if Miss Sancour’s heath was in any way related to her use of the peacock while Akumatized, nor can we tell how close your father is to Hawkmoth. But with what little evidence they hold, it’s enough to get them just close enough to the truth, if we are very clever in the coming times.”

“However it works out, we’ll work it out together.” Kagami speaks up. “Hawkmoth, Le Paon, and this Scorpion fellow have no dignity to treat themselves and the world as they do. They’ll collapse in on themselves the second we put too much pressure on them.”

“And it’s not like we haven’t been through the wringer ourselves.” Marinette walks up and places a hand on Kagami’s shoulder, smiling slightly at her. Kagami, a bit hesitant, returns the grin.

One by one the others affirm their confidence in themselves and each other. And Adrien finishes it off with a small smile and a nod. “And I’ll convince Father and Nathalie to leave those three mad men to their quests.  So when we confront the three of them, we’ll truly have numbers on our side.”

“So…” Nino speaks up “What do we do now? My folks think I’m spending the night with Alya.”

“I just have to get home before Curfew.” Alya adds on “I don’t think anyone even NOTICED I left.”

“Dad wants us home before it’s too late” Amber comments, to which Chloe adds on “Unlike you dweebs WE told the truth. Our friend needed us because his father was being awful about his dead mother.” Chloe’s blunt remark leaves everyone cringing a bit, but Adrien chuckles. 

“You always were more pragmatic than most people expected of you Chlo.”

“WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!”

And now, and only now, we return to the Agreste mansion. More specifically to Gabriel’s office. Much like how we found him at the beginning of the special, head down on the desk, staring into nothing, but now his eyes are glassy, an empty glass that probably held an alcoholic drink at some point loosely grasped in his hand.The door opens, and in comes Adrien, followed closely by Marinette. He stands, stumbles just a moment, before approaching Adrien, apologizing profusely for what happened earlier, Adrien smiles slightly, clearly thinking it's about him brushing off his attempts to make things okay for once.

It is not, but Adrien doesn’t know that. So he simply trades a look with Marinette and carefully steps away, letting Marinette get in front of Gabriel instead. He’s confused, but doesn’t stop her as she reaches up and gently taps either of his shoulders with the side of her hand.

“Gabriel Agreste, I hereby dub you, and your kin as Honorary Dupains for the rest of the Holiday season. And as such, I hereby cordially invite you, your son, and your sister in law, to the Dupian-Cheng family reunion potluck!”

Gabriel, still confused and more than a little tipsy, just kinda lets Adrien grab his wrist and drag him into the hallway in the direction of the kitchen. 

“Come on Dad, We can’t go to our first potluck and NOT bring a dish! What kinda extended family would that make us?”

Marinette of course is easily keeping pace as Adrien starts rattling off quick yet decent dishes they could probably make without burning the kitchen down. 

“What on Earth is happening right now.”

Marinette chuckles. “Well, the entire Chinese half of my family doesn’t celebrate, and on my dad’s side the only living relatives we’ve got are my grandparents, so we just kinda decided to use the holiday season as an excuse to be closed and just invite everyone over to catch up. So be ready to deal with a small chinese woman in her seventies tapping your chin and telling you you’re way too skinny.” The look on Marinette’s face implies she’s been the subject of said ‘you’re too skinny’s for years now. “But anyway, a bunch of mine and Adrien’s friends don’t celebrate either, so we’re all in this together. And This year will be great because my paternal grandfather is finally starting to join in the festivities which means Nonna’s probably going to literally go insane and it’ll be HILARIOUS to watch.”

“MARINETTE WE NEED HELP IN HERE”

“....At this point I’m starting to grow afraid to ask…. But who is ‘We’?”

Cut to the two of them in the kitchen doorway, chaos surrounding.

The rest of team Miraculous are in the kitchen, the majority trying (and failing) to whip up several potluck dishes at once. Fu (“My Uncle” is Marinette’s only explanation) is sitting at the island in the middle of the room with Nathalie. Nathalie takes a long drink of some nondescript clear liquid, right before Alya shouts for everyone to shut the fuck up so she can make this goddamn food.

Gabriel blinks once, then twice, before sighing. Marinette, meanwhile, rolls up her sleeves, and as we follow her walking forward, the camera is covered by her, and then uncovered to show everyone at the Dupain-Cheng apartment. Marinette is in the kitchen proper with her paternal grandpa and maternal uncle as they all try to make food amidst yelling and shouting from all parties. 

“Is that how you fold dumplings? Sloppy! How could anything be held once it hits the steamer?”

“M. Dupain, believe me, I've been doing this longer than you, You’re pressing them too tight, they’ll end up too dense packed that tightly.”

“Preposterous!”

“Grandpa, remember what we talked about?” Roland grumbles but quiets down a bit. Marinette shoots her uncle a small smile.

At the counter sits Nathalie, Sabine, and Sabine’s mother, the three chatting about nothing in particular but clearly enjoying each other’s company well enough. Mama Cheng leans forward and taps Nathalie’s chin with a thumb. 

“You’re too skinny missy! What do you get paid at that fancy assistant job? Can’t be near enough if you’re this underfed!”

In the living room Nonna is entertaining the rest of Team Miraculous with some story from her time traveling abroad, everyone clearly enthralled by it. 

“And then I JUMPED OFF THE MOTORCYCLE! Over the side and into the ravine below! If that water had been rushing just a breath faster I would have been a splatter on the rocks!”

And the rest of the men in the family, Tom, Marinette’s grandfather, Fu, and Gabriel are all coalesced at a fold up table in the foyer, Papa Cheng is lining up three shot glasses per man here.

“Simple rules French boys, first two to finish their drinks get in an arm wrestling match, the winner gets the first cut of the duck in the oven.”

Tom leans over to Gabriel and stage whispers “He pretends it’s this big traditional contest, but really he just likes arm wrestling and can’t think of a way to challenge someone naturally.”

“I HEARD THAT BOY”

Unsurprisingly Papa cheng is the first of the first round, Fu coming in close second. And from there the wrestling match is unseen, but you can hear a cry of defeat, so one can ASSUME the ancient guardian of the Miraculous whipped Marinette’s grandpa’s butt. 

There’s laughter, some shrieks of rage courtesy of Roland, some whoops of excitement as Gina gets into a REALLY good part of a story, at one point Tom leans in to Gabriel again “You want to Arm wrestle anyway? Been awhile since you partied with the working class, hasn’t it?”

“I grew up working class, and I have an older brother, so… sure, if you’re willing to lose.” 

“Oh it is ON”

We pan upward, up in Marinette’s loft, all of the Kwami present are gathered, including two that they never expected to be present. 

Tears are shed as everyone hugs Nooroo and Duusu, scared to let either go, fearful that if they do the two will vanish like ghosts. Everyone is aware of what this means, but also aware that none of them can give this information because of the rules in place on Kwamis. But it is a reunion for them all, a promise that they will help them both somehow.

And at least, for the moment, they are all together again. The Seven are whole. And a few Zodiac are there to watch it unfold.

Finally, the sun has been set for hours, the dark is long fallen, the snow reflecting the lights outside, the stars bright. Gina has moved along, Roland has headed home, Chengs with hotel rooms have returned to their hotels. The group of kids are sprawled along the couch, all asleep. The only lingering adult guests are Fu, Gabriel, and Nathalie.

Fu and Sabine are speaking quietly, as he helps her clean up a bit, the two are doing dishes together. Sabine tells him that Marinette said he was Adrien’s Mandarin teacher, that the two have been bonding during Marinette’s internship. Fu confirms this, states that he’d lost his chance to have children with the woman he loved, and maybe that was why he’d bonded to Marinette, but she’s a brilliant girl and he’s glad to know she has an equally brilliant family at her back. Sabine huffs, the cheery exterior she normally has dropping.

“I’m hardly brilliant, I let my own daughter know the bare minimum of her own culture, I could have taught her more, I chose not to. I spent so long thinking to myself ‘She should be as French as possible, people will leave her alone if she’s as french as possible.’ She’s been through so much already” her eyes look far away “she has the weight of the world on her shoulders, that girl.”

“You’ve done your best with what you had.” Fu responds “You didn’t want her to suffer as you or I did upon coming here. We can’t prepare for everything, we can only do what we believe to be best.”

“I wish I could do more.”

“We all do.”

Sabine looks over at him and smiles, maybe a touch too knowingly.

But we then cut down into the bakery, dim light with only one lamp, right over the coffee pot. Tom’s pouring a pair of cups for the still exhausted Nathalie and the probably still a bit buzzed Gabriel.

“Not that I’m not always proud of my daughter trying to take care of people, but… I never really got much of an explanation as to why you guys went along with this.”

It’s a quiet moment, Nathalie looks aside, not wanting to put voice to it. So Gabriel does. 

“My wife… died two years ago, and for a time it was… easier to pretend that the world stopped turning than it was to move on. We didn’t celebrate last year, but it’s… unfair to Adrien… to keep doing that to him. It was your daughter’s idea to…allow us to meet halfway.”

“She’s not dead.” Nathalie cuts in. “She’s just gone.”

Gabriel glances over at Nathalie, a frown just barely forming, but he doesn’t get a chance to speak, as Adrien meets them, wraps his arms around Nathalie, and whispers a “Thank you for your gift, Aunt Nathalie.”

The Agrestes take then to make their leave, Tom reminding them that now that they were here for Christmas eve, they were expected to show up tomorrow as well for Christmas day. Adrien happily returns that they’ll be there! Marinette gave him his gift Early but he didn’t open it yet! Nathalie’s already on her way into the snow, and for just a moment longer, Gabriel lingers in the doorway. 

“Thank you for your hospitality Tom...Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Gabriel.” 

Adrien grabs his father’s arm and gently leads him into the snow.

“I think we might be okay this year.” Adrien says as they walk off. “A bit crowded at the Dupain-Cheng’s though, maybe next year we should host!”

“I’m not sure if we’ll be invited along next year Adrien.”

“Pssh! Marinette and I are gonna be friends forever, if I know her, this is a standing invitation… she’s… she’s great like that.”

There’s a short time jump, assumed to be a few days later, Marinette’s got an armful of the same duffle she brought out for Fu, but now she’s bringing the bag inside. Fu has the rest of his bags in hand and seems nervous.

“I would hate to impose upon your kindness any longer Mme Dupain-Cheng.”

“Nonsense. People like us have to stick together.” Sabine waves him off and gently takes the suitcase in his hand from him. “Don’t tell her, but I’m glad my daughter has someone looking out for her while she’s off saving Paris.” 

“Welcome Home Mr. Wang.”

[finita--la--commedia]

My own darling Sunny, I get in a mad state of excitement when they bring me your letters, and I don’t know what I would have given, to be able to fly over to you and to cover your sweet face with greedy, burning and loving kisses.

Tsesarevich Nikolay Alexandrovich (the future last Emperor of all Russia, Nikolay II, 1868 - 1918), in a letter to his future wife, Princess Alix of Hesse and by Rhine at birth (the future last Empress of Russia, 1872 - 1918), she was given the name and patronymic Alexandra Fyodorovna when she converted and was received into the Russian Orthodox Church. [ dated September 1, 1894 ( Julian calendar ) ]

[ondemonsanddaydreams]

"I wasn't going to involve myself in this, I didn't rightly care who the estate was left to, but since meeting the countess, I have come to learn she is a vain and vindictive woman and master so cruel it makes even me recoil in hatred. And yet you allow her to bribe you to repair a parish that would be made unclean by her gold." Her lip peeled into a sneer at the thought, "would you consider a deal with me instead, I wonder," her sneer twisted into a friendly smile so charming it almost made him forget what she was, "you've heard rumor at least of my wealth, I imagine," then the smile was twisted into something predatory; Alix may once have been the first and most convincing Soul Broker, but her expression now made it clear she wasn't actually offering him a choice regardless of her phrasing it as such, "but have you heard what happens to those who… disappoint me?" The smile stretched wider, almost hungry as the bishop took an unconscious step back, "They burn," her liquid mercury eyes glittered with hellfire and amusement, "and I don't mean in the 'in hell after death' sense," then she laughed, the sound sudden enough even with its softness that he flinched, "though more often than not, that seems to be the case as well."

One: Alix is absolutely savage sometimes and two: I love finding things like this in my notes with absolutely no context for who the countess is or why Alix suddenly cares about the going ons of a Judeo-Christian church considering God wants her dead or contained

[tmorriscode]

Miraculous Adventure Archaeology AU

Tikki and Plagg didn’t appear until after Hawkmoth sent out his first Akuma. So how did Hawkmoth know that they would appear? Was he fishing? What made him suspect that the miraculous box was in Paris in the first place?

Let’s rewind a bit and see how this plays out differently. Assume that Adrien’s parents found the peacock and butterfly on some wild morally-gray globe-hopping shenanigans a la Lara Croft.

When Emilie falls into her coma, Gabriel continues globe hopping, following rumors to the whereabouts of the Ladybug and Cat miraculous. After all, if he can run a fashion house as a recluse in his mansion, he can run it from a yurt in Mongolia or a canoe on the Amazon as long as he has a sat phone. Nathalie is just that good.

Adrien never gets the chance to run away to attend public school. Where are you going to run to when you are stuck with your crazy adventurer dad in an island in the Aegean following rumors that Hercules wielded the cat miraculous?

Meanwhile, without the Ladybug, Marinette comes into her own a little more slowly. She learns to stand up to Chloé with the help of her new friend Alya. She dates Nino then Nathaniel, then Kagami and then Luka.

Then she takes Audrey Bourgeois up on her offer to go to New York.

Why wouldn’t she? Her ties to Paris aren’t the duties of being Ladybug. They’re her family and her love of the city itself. Those things are constant, whether she is in New York for a short time or not.

Plus it feels good to get one over on the girl who has bullied her since they were kids.

New York is not what she expected. Working for Audrey is like every horror story she’s read in The Devil Wears Prada. It takes her a week to realize that she’s made a terrible mistake.

But Marinette is stubborn. She toughs it out. It takes a year of diligent work, of stepford smiling and quietly making contacts, but she finds a placement with a fashion house in Paris.

Citing her parents needing help to save face with Audrey (who never failed to remind her of how fortune she was, and how much Audrey had invested in her) she finally returned home.

Now, while she’s not burned out on fashion, she is burned out on the whole toxic fashion industry. So when the time comes for higher learning, she vacillates. On a whim, Marinette takes a class called “The Subversive History of Fashion.”

There Marinette learns about Catherine DiMedici’s poisoned gloves, how Marie Antoinette’s wardrobe contributed to the revolution, how in occupied Paris of the 40’s, dressing fashionably— even when it meant making shoes out of cork and bits of scraps or hiding resistance slogans in the pattern of a hat— was an act of resistance.

Audrey Bourgeois wouldn’t give Marinette’s professor a second look. The woman wears the kind of serviceable clothing that never goes out of style, does not have to be replaced, and can be afforded on a professor’s salary.

But when she talks, it’s like she’s an acolyte of a high church. Her eyes burn with passion and reverence.

Marinette is hooked. More than that, she feels the kind of excitement she hasn’t felt since before Audrey Bourgeois.

Within a few years, she holds degrees in textile archaeology and fashion history.

Although she wants a job with the Musé des Arts Décoratifs, she gets a temporary contract with Alix’s father, making interpretive drawings. His focus of research at the moment is the ladybug as a cultural artifact: the idea that a ladybug-themed hero existed in folklore through the ages and across several cultures.

The work brings Marinette in contact with Fu, and soon Marinette finds herself guardian of the Miraculous box and tasked with finding the missing pieces: the peacock, the butterfly, the fox and the cat.

One day she comes home from work early to find a man in a literal cat suit going through her things. He’s not expecting her, nor is he expecting a cricket bat across the back of the head.

When she takes back the cat miraculous, a blonde man about her age is revealed by the detransformation. She takes the box and runs, stashing it and then sleeping with her parents at the bakery. The next day, the blonde is in her office.

He introduces himself as Adrien Agreste, and asks for her help.

He has the locations of the remaining miraculous, and he wants to secure them all before his father and his new protégé Lila Rossi can get to them and accidentally destroy the world.

[iliyad]

musical roulette tagged by @tolstayas​! tysm alix!

rules: put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up, then tag 10 others to do the same. (i'm including my favourite bits from each song like alix djhsk)

1. high hopes (panic! at the disco) "burn your biographies / rewrite your history" 2. alors on danse (stromae) "et là tu t’dis que c’est fini car pire que ça ce serait la mort / qu’en tu crois enfin que tu t’en sors quand y en a plus et ben y en a encore" 3. movement (hozier) "you are a call to motion / there all of you a verb in perfect view" 4. breath of life (florence + the machine) "although i wasn't losing my mind / it was a chorus so sublime" 5. human (rag’n’bone man) "i'm no prophet or messiah / you should go looking somewhere higher" 6. for the thrill of it (counterfeit) "too old to love / to young to care / and too dumb to wait" 7. blood // water (grandson) "i am the people / i am the storm / i am the riot / i am the swarm / when the last tree's fallen / the animal can't hide / money won't solve it / what's your alibi?" 8. white flag (bishop briggs) "patience is wearing thin, paper thin / promises broke again, what a sin" 9. madness (ruelle) "cut me deep, these secrets and lies / storm in the quiet" 10. take me to church (hozier) "in the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene / only then i am human"

tagging: @adrestias​ @sesoneonz​ @applejee​ @undomiels​ @galadrils​

[thearrangment-phff]

XLVIII. Harry

September 2017

She had been happy before she left for Mexico. They were getting to talk to each other more but something had changed. What Isabella had seen in Mexico had changed her more than she had anticipated. The injured people were one thing, but seeing the orphaned children, the poverty, and the everyday violence in some of the smaller towns by major gangs broke Isabella's heart.  

The ugly feeling in Isabella's stomach failed to go away as she traveled the southern united states and the Caribbean. Charlotte and Christine were now faced with trying to get Isabella out of bed, though that proved to be the easy part of everything. Her smiles were different, Isabella didn't engage in conversation like before, and her will to argue with her ladies in waiting had vanished. The will to argue is what worried them the most.

"What do you suppose is wrong with her?" Asked Olympia.

"Perhaps I can take her out to one of the churches nearby. It would be a great gesture since the population is overwhelmingly Catholic and it would do great for her," suggested Gaelle.

"That last thing she needs is to pretend to believe in God. What she needs to medical help. Real help," argued Princess Christine.

"How do you suppose we do that? Isabella is now one of the most watched women in the world. Despite what Harry and his brother and his wife think there work for mental health hasn't done much for people like her! She isn’t a veteran, a child, or a mother. Isabella won't be praised for getting help she will be questioned and ridiculed. Right now, we must protect her. She is the future for now," interrupted Princess Charlotte.

"The people are noticing her behavior. I don't even know how we are going to explain to Isabella the loss of the château in France. I don't even know how we are going to tell her anything," panicked Christine.

"Maybe I can call Joachim to come by?" Suggested Olympia.

"And have Harry be upset at her even more than he already is? God no! We need to keep her away from Harry and her family for some time. Where can we take her without anything looking suspicious?" Asked Charlotte.

"Belgium. We can take her to Belœil and have some engagements dealing with the arts maybe even besides The King and Queen and Duchess of Brabant. She can stay with my brother. He wouldn't complain to have Isabella stay at the château and she'll have my nephew there. I can even call Alix to come by as well," answered Princess Christine.

"What about if Harry wants to go with her? They've been trying to make things work for them and that means Isabella tells him where she is going, what she is doing, and if he can tag along. The only reason he isn't here is because of the Invictus Games," added Olympia.

"Harry can't see her. He'll try and help but we both know that he can't. We also can't just commission another tour like this to go to countries that Isabella has family connections. I have some friends in France, doctor friends, that can keep her in France for a couple of days for medical reasons. Maybe even 2 weeks or so if I persuade them enough," suggested Gaelle.

"Harry will want to know what is wrong with her. If word gets out about Belle being sick or hospitalized then Harry will stop whatever he's doing to be by his wife's side. But we can't tell Harry that we are faking an illness so she can get out of this slump."

"It's a little more than a slump. She's hasn't been like this in so long. What are we going to do?" Asked Olympia.

"We have to tell Harry."

"Tell him what exactly? Tell him that his wife hasn't gotten out of bed in days, that we are forced to dress her up and she refuses to talk to anyone?! We have to do something else that doesn't involve Harry," argued Princess Charlotte.

"Harry is her husband and he cares deeply for her so there is no scenario that doesn't involve him," fought Christine.

"All right! Let's solve this. We call Harry, explain Belle's behavior and explain that we're taking her to Belgium after she finishes this unofficial tour because we all know that she will be ridiculed for leaving any tour early," suggested Olympia.

"Olympia is right. We should just call Harry right now and explain the situation," agreed Gaelle.

Princess Christine and Princess Charlotte looked at each other knowing that neither wanted to do that. The four of them were at a draw until Isabella had mumbled something. The women headed to Isabella's room that was less than 4 feet away from them in the first place. Isabella still hadn't moved and it was clear that she wouldn't be moving any time soon.

"Belle what did you say?"

"Harry. I want Harry."

"Do you want to go to Canada after you're done here?"

Isabella didn't bother to answer with words or with a signal. Her ladies had looked at each other knowing they were more than likely going to Canada. The plan was always to go to closing events and ceremony of the Invictus Games but Isabella was now a wildcard. She had to be dressed and fed with the help of all four women. Gaelle and Olympia were tasked with helping her up while Christine and Charlotte worried about the little details.

On one of Isabella's last days, she had given a check as 100,000 euros, which was about 2.5 million Mexican pesos. Smaller checks were made to organizations helping the United States and the Caribbean. With less money in her bank account, Isabella received a call from her godfather Alois telling her spending her money on charity so much meant that she would have less money left for the upkeeping of the château's. Isabella simply hung on him rather than fight. She had no energy for that anyhow.

It was difficult to play her part but she did it anyhow. When she went to a shelter in Houston, Texas in the United States the images of the children burned in her brain. Isabella was born in a life of privilege from birth and she had the audacity to feel sorry for herself. The guilt pained even more as the days went by. She wanted Harry, she wanted to feel safe in his arms because of that point them being away from each other pained her.

"Belle. We leave for Canada tomorrow. Would you like us to have separate rooms for you and Harry?"

Gaelle's sweet voice made Isabella feel a little safe, "I want Harry."

It was clear that something was wrong and the press could not stop pointing it out. The wrote about fights between her and Kate and the breakdown of her marriage to Harry. Obviously, they were all lies but they were getting to Harry. Isabella had met him at Invictus basketball event immediately after landing in Canada. She met him with a tight hug as she buried her face into his neck. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by Harry and continued on throughout the day.

“Belle you need to stop ignoring me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sick,” replied Isabella.

“Your spending is getting out of control. At this rate, you will have no money by the end of the year! You can’t just throw money at any organization you find along the way. You need to stop this or I will freeze your account. I still have control over your money, you do understand that right?!”

“Then make me more money,” fought Isabella as she ended the phone call.

When the day came to an end Isabella had asked if Harry could hold her until she fell asleep. Isabella still wasn't feeling well so Harry spent hours holding her.

"Do you want to talk to someone about you feeling sick? We can set up an appointment," asked Harry.

"No."

"I don't want you getting worse. Whatever it is it's best to get rid of it."

"Thank you, but I don't like doctors. I've always hated it," pouted Isabella.

"I don't like seeing you like this. Just please do it for me so I can have some peace of mind?"

"Okay. How was the opening ceremony?"

"Fantastic. I wish you would've been there. You would've loved it," smiled Harry.

"I'm excited about the basketball games tomorrow. I'm excited about golf too but it's not the most interesting sport to me."

"I guess I have to agree with you on that. There's also some archery games tomorrow but the swimming finals will probably take up most of my time."

"Oh, I love watching swimming. It's amazing to know the difference between winning first and placing second could be a hundredth of a second sometimes is exciting."

"Did you ever play sports?" Asked Harry.

"Never. My family is more into music. My siblings, my cousins and I learned a minimum of two instruments. Usually, it was piano and violin but Guillaume and Imre chose to play the cello and be fancy."

"Who wanted you all to learn to play music?"

"I think it really started with my grandmother's grandmother Queen Elisabeth. She was very much into the arts thanks to her own father so she made her children learn to play instruments. It passed on to my grandmother and went through the Luxembourg family and then to the Habsburg through my mother."

"I think I want our kids to learn to play the trumpet. I think that would be fun."

"Believe me a beginner trumpet is something you don't want to here. Sometimes a regular trumpet is something you don't want to here. I think piano is a nice instrument to start," smiled Isabella.

"We've been doing so well these past couple of weeks," remarked Harry.

"We are. I'm sorry I've been so back and forth with everything."

"There's no need to apologize. All of this has been stressful and now with you getting sick, I just want to get away from all of this."

"Let's go to Austria. At the château or the castle and just spend a couple of days without Charlotte, Christine, Gaelle, and Olympia. We can take a couple of days off our schedule and then just hang around all alone," smiled Isabella.

"That would be nice. I also wanted to talk to you... about possibly taking up some charities involving those actively deployed and veterans. It would be a good thing considering you married someone that was in the armed forces. Your grandfather served in World War II and most of your cousins joined the armed forces I thought it would make you want to do something for them or their wives," suggested Harry.

"That's a good idea. I'll talk to Emily and try to arrange something and your right. I married someone that was in the armed forces and my family is in the arms forces too for the most part so I should do something. There have been studies about music therapy and PTSD in veterans and those actively deployed. I could be a patron of something like that. It combines something I care for with something you care for, well I care about veterans too but you get what I'm trying to say."

"Thank you."

"For what?" Laughed Isabella.

"For not walking away when you know you could've walked away," answered Harry.

"Oh. Well, thank you for not walking either when you had the chance."

"What's that patronage that you're always going to? Some days I try and find you only to find out your out in meetings. You haven’t been very open with me about that."

"Amnesty International though I'm not an official patron of the whole organization because everyone agreed that it would be controversial," explained Isabella.

"Why would it be controversial?"

"Amnesty International deals with everything from refugees, migrants and asylum seekers across the world to sexual and reproductive rights. But it would be wrong as a British royal to be involved because they also deal with indigenous rights, armed conflict, and corporate accountability because it upsets politicians."

"We aren't supposed to be political Isabella."

"And I know that, but I can't help everything I care about makes people upset. I can't even process in my mind that basic human rights like food, water, shelter, and who they want to love are controversial. Harry, I'm a socialist you do realize that?"  

Harry blinked a couple of times and Isabella had turned her head to the right to meet Harry graze, "I don't really understand what that means. I do understand that it's similar to communism and any first world country hates both but other than that I don't know much."

"I don't believe in everything that the socialist party does but it's the closest party that I can align myself with. I'm anti-war, anti-gun, pro-vaccination, healthcare for everyone, education for everyone, free housing, I believe in climate change, I'm pro-choice, I believe in gay and trans rights, I believe in immigrants rights, I’m for sexual education for everyone. I believe in these things because I believe that they are human rights but others don’t agree because of religion or capitalism. I could never understand how anyone can be against that." exclaimed Isabella.

"Do you know when you talk about these things you get this little glimmer in your eyes?" Smiled Harry.

"What are you talking about?" asked Isabella.

"When you talk about what your interest are you get this little glimmer in your eyes and your smile is just different."

"I have different smiles?"

"You do. You have two different smiles with me."

"I do not!" Fought Isabella.

"Yes, you do. The first one is the one you wear when we're in public and the other is when it's just you and me. I like it. It means that I get something of you all to myself that I don't have to share with the world," thought Harry.

Isabella sported a huge smile before kissing Harry on the cheek, "You are the sweetest thing, do you know that?"

"Of course I know that. I don't think you would be married to me if I weren't," joked Harry.

"I guess your right on that," laughed Isabella.

“But you do understand that the army changed me for the better. It gave me discipline and that could be good for others.”

“I do understand that but I also understand that the armed forces recruit those they know they can manipulate. The ones they know how no other options like people of color and the poor. I also understand that discipline is fine and sometimes need it but the armed forces can be used for disasters, not wars funded by rich people at the expense of the poor,” argued Isabella.

“One of these days you’ll have to teach me everything you know,” smiled Harry.

“Even if we had the rest of our lives for me to teach you things we still wouldn’t have enough time. You’d be surprised at what I know.”

[lnc2]

Girls Night Out

AKA the reason I’ve been writing MIA for a few months.

Miraculous Big Bang 2k17

Art by: @salty-french-fry

Summary: The fate of Alix Kubdel’s birthday party rests in the pants of one Adrien Agreste.

Read on AO3 and FF.net

10:51 PM

Adrien Agreste was having a night.

It was something he heard Alya say once and something Nino later clarified as a clusterfuck of nonsense. At the time it didn’t really make sense to him, but now, as Adrien stood on the edge of a church roof clad only in a pair of Ladybug boxers and stared out at the havoc being wreaked across the city, he was starting to get the idea.

Ladybug is going to kill me.

Paris was burning.

The cobbled streets of the arrondissement shone like hot coals beneath the the blazing inferno that was his city.  Panicked screams of evacuating citizens and wailing sirens filled the air as the Eiffel Tower sparked like a Roman candle in the distance.

And Adrien, nearly-naked and kwamiless, was helpless to do anything about it.

Maybe this was why his father didn’t let him have birthday parties.

Somewhere in the chaos he had lost Chloe and the others.  Taking the akuma’s distraction as an opportunity to slip away, Juleka’s quiet hey was drowned out by another explosion and the subsequent stampede of fleeing bodies ensured they couldn’t follow.

Adrien cut through the unaffected alleyways, grateful again for the tennis shoes Max had swiped for him earlier in the evening.  Although it was literally the least they could do after getting him into this mess in the first place.

At least they helped me get away from the girls.

He scowled down at his cuffed wrists. Not soon enough.

When all this was over he and Nino were going to have a  long talk about what it meant to be a good bro.

But first he needed to make it home and grab Plagg so he could make everything right again.

Or at least that was his plan.

He really hadn’t counted on running into Sabrina, Mylene, and Rose.

The three were huddled together in the park and Adrien skid to a halt as he saw them hunched together over their goddamn list.  It was disturbing how even the city’s burgeoning destruction couldn’t distract them from their ridiculous game.

Adrien wondered if he could slip past them undetected when Rose cried out and he took off running again.

He was getting really tired of this.

Mylene’s shout of get back here, Agreste! was followed by a chorus of giggles that Adrien swore would follow him into his nightmares.  

He ran towards the nearest crowd, hoping to lose them the same way he lost the others when he was suddenly grabbed from behind. He yelped as he lurched forward, only to realize that he wasn’t being pushed so much as hoisted, before scrambling to grasp onto whatever had a hold of him.

“Need a lift, handsome boy?”

The arm around his waist gripped him tightly as they swung above the clamoring Parisians below and it was with equal parts relief and mortification that Adrien realized just who it was that had rescued him.

Ladybug set him down on top of a nearby church and he could barely look at her as her arms slid away from his bare waist.

She laughed.  “Rough night?”

“You have no idea.”

“I don’t know,” She sang.  Adrien met her dancing eyes with confusion.  “I bet I can guess.”

A few streets down, another explosion shook the streets.

“Adrien Agreste! I’ve got a story you’ll be dying to read.”

She rolled her shoulders and sighed.  

“A hero’s work is never done.” She grabbed the yoyo at her hip and caught his eye.  “You gonna be okay?”

Adrien nodded dumbly.

“Good,” Her eyes looked him up and down slowly as her lips fought a smirk.  Not for the first time that night Adrien’s face burned red.  

Ladybug bit her lip.  “Nice spots.”

Honestly, he could scream.

I am going to kill Nino.

Read More

[qqueenofhades]

Jack/Sam: "We're not going to die." Make of that what you will XD

Sutherland, Scotland

April 1748

The tiny, ancient, roofless church was the only shelter formiles, in the low ground between the rugged munros and towering stacks ofgranite, swept by lonely winds and open to the elements. It was the bleakestbloody place that Sam had ever seen; after leaving the last croft, they hadwalked for three days without encountering another human. Most unfortunately,the next human had been a redcoat patrol. Apparently they had made it up from Invernessand were making the rounds to ensure strict adherence to the Act ofProscription, the Dress Act, the Disarming Act, the Heritable JurisdictionsAct, and the other armada of punitive legislation that Parliament had passed inthe wake of the Jacobites’ defeat at Culloden two years ago, and no part of theHighlands was getting away from it. Nor were the redcoats terribly conscientiousabout checking whether a given Scottish croft had actually had a damn thing todo with Bonnie Prince Charlie before they commenced beating and burning theplace and shaking it down for any miserly half-pennies they could be arsed toseize. No wonder Jack had plenty to do.

That, however, had led them to their current place ofrefuge, and Sam wasn’t sure how much longer it would remain one. The night was bitterlycold, and Jack had been perched in the remnants of the roof beams for at leastan hour, tensely watching the redcoats’ camp half a mile down the glen, justvisible by the pinprick of its fire. They didn’t think the soldiers were going to march off in the middle of the nightinto the remote Scottish wilderness – they had heard howling from the highground earlier, there were wolves here – but they couldn’t be sure. Likewise,fugitives could claim sanctuary from their pursuers in an intact church, but itwas a point of contention as to whether that flimsy legal right extended to a ruinedone. They hadn’t had anything to eat in two days. Sam could practically feelhis stomach withering to a husk.

“Come down,” he said at last, his voice sounding loud in thehush. “I’m freezing.”

Jack glanced down at him with a wry smile. “I’m sorrythis is – well. What it is.”

“Funnily enough, I didn’t think that sneaking through theHighlands for you to perform secret medical assistance on people the Englishhave unjustly beat up was going to be glamorous.” Sam gingerly stretched hislegs, then stopped. “But down here by myself, it really is terrible.”

Jack sighed, his breath making cold silver clouds in thehalf-light, and stole a final look down the valley. “I don’t think they’removing. Hopefully we can sneak out of here in the morning.”

“If we don’t get eaten by wolves.” They had one rather balkyflintlock musket to their name – the carrying of all guns had been strictlyoutlawed in the Highlands, and they were running enough of a risk with that –and Sam didn’t see that being a terrible deterrence to a frothing pack,probably as hungry as the rest of this place. Periodic scars of smoke rose tothe horizon wherever the redcoats were burning fields and crofts, ruining thesubsistence harvest on which these people depended. For a moment, Sam felt thesame all-consuming hatred of the British that had driven his family, particularly hisgrandfather and then his father, in their war. Why do they always get to do this, and we can’t even really fight back?

“I promise.” Jack jumped down from the beam, landing with apuff of dust and dirt. “I will not let you get eaten by wolves or shot by redcoats.”

To Sam’s mind, this still left plenty of potential deaths,not least freezing solid, but he held his arms out, shivering, and Jack came tosit down close next to him, gathering Sam onto his lap and resting hischin on his head. He pulled his cloak around both of them, sharing whatmeager heat they had; they couldn’t risk a fire of their own. Finally he said, “Thankyou. For being – being here.”

Sam didn’t answer immediately, tracing a finger across Jack’schest. Despite the considerable and obvious drawbacks – viz. sitting in afreezing, roofless church up the arse-end of the Highlands, death of one sortor another too uncomfortably close at hand – he didn’t want to be anywhereelse, not really. Even as nice as warm Georgia sounded – hell, even drizzlyEdinburgh would be a sight for sore eyes – here was where Jack was. Here washim helping people who had nothing else, being the most gentle and patient andempathetic that Sam had ever seen him, putting that medical education to work.He didn’t want to go. Not now. Not ever.

Something that was almost definitely a wolf howled. Not faroff.

“If we…” Sam didn’t know what he was asking, exactly,but it bubbled to his lips. “If we do die tonight…”

“We’re not going to die.” Jack looked down at him fiercely. “Remember?”

“Aye, but…” Sam threaded their cold fingers together,feeling Jack’s calluses, the long, elegant hands he loved so well, that couldsew up a little girl’s hands torn by a spindle or a young man on the wrong endof a redcoat’s musket. “I’d like to die as your…well. Yours.”

“You are mine.” Jack kissed his hair lightly. “And I’myours. Always.”

“Yes, but…” Sam glanced up at their surroundings – thestark, haunted church open to the sky, the altar crumbling to stones and moss,the ghosts of long-ago worshipers – Viking raiders from Orkney, perhaps, ormedieval lords in their tunics and brooches, anyone else who had foundthemselves here in the night and mist and wilds. “We are in a church. And forbloody sure nobody else is going to do it for us, so…”

“Sam.” Jack put a hand under his chin. “What are you asking?”

“Will you…” Sam screwed up all his courage, pushing pastthe small, frightened part of him that always expected rejection, even andespecially from someone he loved past all reason, to distraction, to here, tothis. “Will you marry me?”

Jack stared at him, then laughed in surprise. “Marry you,eh?”

“I just thought… it’s stupid, but – ”

Jack cut him off, as he could tend to do when Sam startedprattling, with a firm and comprehensive kiss. It felt somewhat less cold whenthey finally pulled apart, though not to do with any improvement in the weather,as Jack shifted Sam off his lap and tugged him to his feet, as they stoodrather self-consciously before the broken altar. They stared at each other fora long moment, and then Jack cleared his throat. “Do you, Samuel James Jones,take me, Jack Bellamy, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to holdfrom this day forward, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as longas we both should live?”

“Yes.” Sam had never heard anything he needed to think aboutless, wanted to say it again. “I do. I do. I do.”

Jack smiled at him gently, as if reminding him that it onlytook one, and Sam steadied himself. “Do you, Jack Bellamy, take me, SamuelJames Jones, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from thisday forward, for richer or poorer, in sick – sickness and in health, as long as.. . we both… we both should live?”

Jack looked at him as if trying to memorize his face,everything about this. This, after all, was not his first wedding – he hadmarried Charlotte Goode in a Marylebone parish church in May 1738, as part of aneffort for both of them to escape London and try to reunite with Charlotte’sreal lover, Alix St. Clair – and Sam had to fight a brief fear that of coursethat one would have been better somehow. Realer, deeper, truer, even thoughJack and Charlotte had had their marriage cordially annulled seven years ago,and had never been lovers in a carnal sense. But it was with face and eyes andvoice and breath full of Sam that Jack said tenderly, “I do.”

They looked at each other for a long moment, having ageneral recollection that there was usually more to weddings – prayers andpronouncements, blessings and vows, the affirmation of witnesses, a lot oftaradiddle from the priest about why the estate of matrimony had been created,so on and so forth. But there was nothing familiar about this, nothing ordinaryor usual, nothing sanctioned by the church or the world at large, and so,somehow and simply, that was enough. To pledge their troth and make theirpromise, the affirmation of a life they had already been living for the betterpart of a decade already. There was not really just one of them anymore, orrather there was, but as two halves of a whole, rather than any separatecreature. This was all they needed.

At last, as the moon broke out from behind an anvil of cloudand shone down on them in a soft silver light, Sam Jones and Jack Bellamy steppedforward, took hold of each other’s faces, and kissed, soft and musingly andsweet and slow, in joy and grief at once. They pulled back, but only to restcheeks and noses and foreheads together, to kiss again, and stand there likeone of the church’s broken pillars. They grinned at each other shakily, morethan a little tearily, and Jack brought Sam’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “God,”he said roughly. “God, I love you.”

Sam didn’t even want to answer just yet, wanted to hold thewords against his heart, as they stood there in each other’s arms, then sankback down into the dubious shelter of the broken bricks. It was not much of awedding night, and trying to turn it into one would probably result in severalpertinent bits being frozen off, but he didn’t care. All he wanted was this, andalways had. Me. Mine. Ours.

Sam Jones-Bellamy laid his head against his husband’sshoulder, and waited for eternity.

[nanshe-of-nina]

Incorrect Crusades Quotes

Raimond IV de Tolosa: the fool tries to make one million dollars.... but the wise man knows that its much easier to make $0.000001 dollars one trillion times

Guglielmo Embriaco: Arrives 15 minutes late with siege towers.

Pope Urbanus II: UNITED NATIONS: ah!! please help us! we need just a normal man's opinion!! we got you a seat ME: How'm I to trust you, while God is bleeding

Étienne Henri, comte de Blois: Hell Yes;. the army is putting me and my guns on a plane back to iraq. Thius is like real life DLC

Matilde di Canossa: disappointed by lack of respect for the pope by the goofus brigade. i on the other hand respect the mans ass cheeks. i respect the mans legs

Alexios I Komnenos: I am Mediterranean Man! Hear my cry: TZATZIKIIIIIIiiiiiii and tremble with fear.TZATZIKIIIIIIiiiiiii and away!

Pierre l’Ermite: me and a bunch of stupid assholes are going to start a community in the middle of the desert to either die or prove a very important point.

Baudouin Ier de Jérusalem: im gay too and i love shit and im a nerd.

Bohémond de Hauteville: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree

Hugues Ier, comte de Vermandois: i may be a dim-witted narcissist but at least i hafve really good opinions about life and other things

Morphia of Melitene: I AM VERY BAD ARMENIAN LADY ! I AM SO BAD THAT EVEN DEVOL IS AFRAID OF ME ! I WILL TEAR ENYBODYS SPIRIT & GIVE IT TO HIM ; WHO PUT DISLIKE !

Hugues de Payens: girlsl... i shall virtuously employ the expansive breadth of my tech wisdom to protect you all from Daesh... even if you dont follow me...

Danishmend Gazi: prince hussein…wheres my goodboy bailout

Tancrède de Hauteville: my romantic girl friend sees the super blood moon reflected in my greased back hair and pledges then and there to bow to christ our master

Thomas de Marle, seigneur de Coucy: I wanna live inside a castle built of your agony. AND I WANT TO CRUMBLE IT WITH AN AXE TO YOUR CAROTID ARTERY!

Kilij Arslan I: @danishmend pass the savings onto me mother fucker

Al-Mustazhir: "buckwild" or "hogwild"?? im writing a poem for my gf

Anna Komnēnḗ: He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.

Imad ad-Din Zengi: each 'Ridge' in your crinkle-cut potato chip costs 4 gallons of precious slave blood to create and adds a satisfying "Cruntch" to every bite

Thierry d'Alsace, comte de Flandre: this post is 2 years old. ive since lost custody of my children and my wife left me. still wild about candles

Anfós Jordan de Tolosa: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants

Enrico Dandolo: Everything happens for a reason, little one. And that reason is me.

Hodierne de Jérusalem: 12 year slave huh? sounds like my marriage. which I dont enjoy. to the degree that it is succinctly described by that particular movie title

Alix de Jérusalem: announcin,g in 2016 my new brand alliance with cool arab man

Sybille d’Anjou: im moving to israel, where the boys are nice, as soon as i get confirmation that they use the same kind of toilet paper that we use here

Raimon de Peitieus: im sorry to Wawa for attempting to behead myself in one of their restrooms. i promise to take the Wawa experience more seriously from now on

Andrónikos I: If a billion people have to be impaled to prove it, my worthiness as a Komnēnós will be DEMONSTRATED.

Louis VII de France: in another life... i would make U stay...

Renaud de Châtillon: i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like "oh tortures bad","its ineffective" fuck off

Friedrich I, Holy Roman Emperor: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer

Imad ad-Din al-Isfahani: what happens when kirby swallows the qur'an and is granted its considerable power. my 81 chapter fanfic explores this issue -- and more

Heinrich der Löwe, Herzog von Sachsen: Wow, I do not care about that problem.

Henry II of England: i said im sorry. ive taken my lashes upon the cross. my brand is still good and anyone who cant see that is worthless

Agnès de Courtenay: looks like im forced to address false rumors that i own 3 dildos on a shelf labelled "breakfast" "lunch" & "dinner". this is an absurdity .

Amaury Ier de Jérusalem: MarioGodKenneth is stuck in prison again and ive received $0 in donations towards his bail.

Salah ad-Din: We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Allah Kedavra!”

Bertran de Bòrn: Im a monk in real life, the matrix is real and hummingbirds and other really fast animals are proof positive that bullet time eixists

Corrado del Monferrato: if a sniper shot me i would run over to where he is and kick the gun out of his hand and kill him because hes not specialized in melee fight

Guy de Lusignan: Our only hope now is that the enemy kills so many of us, they become slightly depressed.

Bonifacio del Monferrato: This is a Bulgar hunt, man! A Bulgar hunt! Game over, man! Game over!

Richard I of England: cant wait to get back to iraq and blast some ragheads-- itll be just like halo but with less lag #tcot #nowTHATSghetto #nowplaying #bun

Leopold V., Herzog von Österreich: (in really quiet, barely audible voice) hope your dick falls of bitch

Philippe II de France: wish Obama would authorize some drone strikes against my ex-wife!

Baudouin IX, comte de Flandre: "i wish they got, WiFi down here" - guy who died in the paris catacombs

Simon IV de Montfort: I love the smell of heretics in the morning. You know, one time we set an entire town on fire, for 12 hours. The smell, you know that burning flesh smell, the whole town. Smelled like victory.

Alexios IV Angelos: Local man ruins everything

Raimon-Rogièr, comte de Fois:  bigmouth fake priest telling me to "drink a shitload of holy water and kill yourself" as penance? this has happened at three churches now

Friedrich II, Holy Roman Emperor: I will tell you this right now: I’m from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally

Thibaut Ier de Navarre: i do enjoy spending my weekends "Joining the Army". oh how i hate when monday rolls around & i must say goodbye to all of my soldier friends

Shajar Al-Durr: i ruminate over a scrapbook full of middle finger pics to keep myself demure, respectful and humble. "i deserve these", i utter shitheadedly

Louis IX de France: the nile river is red with blood and your fucking birthday present won't cleanse it. perspective, you fucking rat

Robert Ier, comte de Artois: Leeeeeeeeeeeeeroy!

Charles Ier de Naples: welp, time to rescue egypt from muslims. asomebody please carry all 900 pounds of me to the site of the protests. wait nevermind im good

Beatritz de Provença: What is the point of being married to a prince if he can't wield unfettered power to crush my enemies!?

Baibars: my name is Destyn. i build crossbows and sell weed to all your dads and im 15

Edward I of England: i am going to plunge a sword into our bed and officially end outr 40 yr marriage if you do not stop yelling while i am recording my stream's

[blackskiesbeautifultimes]

Ultimate Ship Meme for Wren and Aiden

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - They’re that couple that breaks up and gets back together constantly

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - They fell fairly quickly, though Wren had to get over her mistrust of him

How was their first kiss? - It escalated quickly

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Aidan

Who is the best man/men? - Devan

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Rhean and Leda

Who did the most planning? - Alix, since he’s king and in charge of that

Who stressed the most? - Wren

How fancy was the ceremony? - 

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - No one in particular

Sex:

Who is on top? - Usually Aidan but they can switch

Who is the one to instigate things? - Usually Wren

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Give them a few hours alone

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - One or two

How many children will they adopt? - None

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Probably Aidan

Who is the stricter parent? - Also Aidan 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Wren

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Wren

Who is the more loved parent? - Aidan

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Wren

Who cried the most at graduation? - Wren

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Aidan, he’s a Wick after all

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Aidan, Wren’s never had to cook

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Wren

Who does the grocery shopping? - Aidan

How often do they bake desserts? - Eh, depends on what they’re having

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Well balanced

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Aidan

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Wren

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Wren

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Aidan

Who is really against chores? - Wren

Who cleans up after the pets? - They don’t have any

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Wren

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Aidan

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Wren

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Wren

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - What dog? 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Not often

What are their goals for the relationship? -

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Both

Who plays the most pranks? - Aidan

[alixburnschurches]