#alex x jonas
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chapter title: to be found again summary: Alex and Jonas, stumbling after Riley.
rating: t+ word count: 2700~ genre: ghosts notes: time unravels. summer & smoke — bear's den. 4 / 7
— . . . . . The kids really are kids, and that's the worst. Riley spends her time fiddling with the walkie-talkie. Alex sees a lot of herself in it; sometimes you need something to do with your hands. Because Jesus Christ, never mind Charlie: watching Violet tight-rope walk that bridge had been enough to fuel Alex's nightmares for the next several thousand years, thanks! It's too much like Ren drowning. Alex is still shuddering it off, peeling the grime away from her skin; she can't quite tell what kind of yuck is in her throat, only that it definitely is yuck in her throat. Because—honestly? Teenagers? The thing about teenagers is that they're exhausting. Alex knows this! She's allowed to say it, she was a teenager for way longer than any human being is supposed to be a teenager. She was a teenager for fourteen billion years, give or take a few minutes. It was a lot of time, is what she's saying. It was a lot of feelings, too.
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pretzels
March 3, 2021
Jack was over at Oscar and Nico’s apartment hanging out with the two, Oscar left the room to use the restroom and Nico and Jack were getting snacks.
“You guys always have a lot of pretzels.” Jack commented as he grabbed a bag that wasfilled with pretzels and Jack could’ve sworn the bag he saw last time he was here was just as full still when he left.
Nico snickered making Jack snap his head over to him, “What?” Jack looked confused on what’s funny.
“You are the only one that likes them.” Nico snickered answering him.
“But why do i always have them?” Jack looked even more confused as he just assumed that Oscar liked them because he always had them at his apartment.
“Because Beds buys them for you.” Nico told Jack having found it sweet when he realized what Oscar was doing.
“For me?” Jack repeated softly, he looked down at the bag of pretzels that are his favorite snack.
“Yeah Beds hates pretzels actually.” Nico chuckled again, “Like he can’t stand them but then started buying them from you.”
Jack smiled softly at how sweet that is.
Oscar walked in looking between the two suspicious before Jack walked over to him and cupped his face pulling him into a very passionate kiss.
Oscar blinked as they pulled apart looking at Jack with loving smile and flushed cheeks, “Not that i mind but what was that for?”
“You buy me pretzels.” Jack softly pouted looking at Oscar with his big puppy dog eyes absolutely melting from Oscar’s actions.
Oscar cheeks turned red as he realized Jack knows what he has been doing, “Yeah you like them.” Oscar explained extremely simply, Jack likes pretzels and he wants Jack to have what he likes.
If it was even possible Jack melted more and pulled Oscar into another long and passionate kiss.
“Alright you two no more in front of me.” Nico groaned being dramatic and covering his eyes.
“Then we won’t be in front of you.” Jack sassed, sadly pulling away from his boyfriend and stopping kissing him, Jack grabbed Oscar’s hand and pulled him out of the kitchen and towards Oscar’s bedroom.
Oscar smirked and waved at Nico, Nico just groaned and grabbed his headphones.
#oscarbedardau#ob98#jack hughes#jack hughes x oc#luke hughes#luke hughes x oc#quinn hughes#quinn hughes x oc#connor bedard x oc#connor bedard#bowen byram#new jersey devils#nj devils#chicago blackhawks#nhl blackhawks#nico hischier x oc#nico hischier#jesper bratt#jonas siegenthaler#dawson mercer#simon nemec#miles wood#taylor hall#nhl x oc#nhl au#tyler toffoli#curtis lazar#alex holtz x oc#john marino x oc#nate bastian
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗
Oh man. I could never pick just five, tbh. Here’s some that I reread frequently though, sorted by fandom rather than ranking.
Arcane:
A Helping Hand (30/? chapters posted, silco/f!reader; occasionally smutty/explicit, but mostly heavy on the tension/slow burn) Duh! Of course I rec my longest but still unfinished multichap! A story of recovery and personal growth mixed in with some weird bdsm kink stuff? Come on, it's fun! And its reverse POVs! Can be found both here on tumblr and over on AO3.
Dead by Daylight:
Unwilling Survivor (33/? chapters posted, legion/f!OC; rated M for graphic violence, mentions of suicide, sexual themes; enemies to enemies to enemies to lovers) I fucking love my OC Sam, okay?? I love her so dearly, and this was her first debut in this universe, one which I have since written her in a LOT through RP and projects with friends. Some of my favorite writing is Sam stuff, I love my suicidal final girl and the untapped rage in her, she's fantastic. Please read this.
Oxenfree:
So It Goes (21/21 chapters, complete and posted, Jonas/Alex; rated M for themes, but no graphic content; time loop angst and warning for stepcest) Possibly the only multichap I've ever completed, thanks to Hammie as a cowriter. Loved writing Jonas for this one, with his intense guilt and strong sense of responsibility, and the delicious angst the canon setting brings. Also had so much fun making mood boards for every single chapter. Hop on over to AO3.
Holy Spirits (25/? chapters posted, Jonas/Alex bi4bi m/f alternate future fic that is so far from the source material it's practically contemporary romcom; rated M for sexual themes and some violence; annoyance to friends to Complicated) I love love love everything I ever wrote with my friend Hammie for Oxenfree, and this is no exception. So much fun to write Alex, especially with the amazingly silly banter these two get up to, highly recommend. It's over on AO3.
Original Works?:
Okay so technically this is an AU of Holy Spirits, lmao, but if you like one you'll hopefully enjoy the other! Lucky In Love (36/? chapters and still occasionally updating; bi4bi m/f reality tv romance (cameraman/contestant); rated M for sexual content; another annoyances to friends to lovers story, because that shit is my drug) Basically the same backstory as Holy Spirits, and even steals some of the OCs from that story, but instead Alex is a contestant on a dating show and Jonas is a cameraman who's growing a conscience. If you like reality tv drama of the 2010s era, this has it. Over on AO3.
#x-amount-talks#also i guess#x-amount-writes#the dreaded main#shameless self promotion#i love my own work tbh xD i have no shame#silco/reader#legion/oc#jonas/alex#arcane fic#dbd fic#oxenfree fic
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We don’t have the luxury of those little golden eggs any longer.
(Dark X-Men #2)
#dark x-men#havok#alex summers#goblin queen#madelyn pryor#ritual#raise the dead#mutants#fall of x#steve foxe#jonas scharf#marvel comics#comics#2020s comics
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Having Crossover ship brainrot is the worst sometimes. Specifically if said ship just exist in your mind alone (and also in your friends minds who you talk to about them. But there is no content to consume except the one you make yourself.)
This is about Alex Rider/Justus Jonas (primarily at least. This is also about Alex Rider/Peter Shaw, Alex Rider/Bob Andrews and Alex Rider/Justus Jonas/Peter Shaw/Bob Andrews)
With Alex Rider/Artemis Fowl ||, I at least have content to consume, besides the one I make myself. Alexmis my beloved. (Literally the peak of crossover shipping. They are so ingrained in my mind that I can’t think of them not existing in the same universe.)
Listen the huge amount of crossover fics (AR x D3F [and by extension AF]) I have in the works are just not getting finished and instead my list of planned fics is getting longer and longer and longer.
On that note. I need to know if the are people, who would actually be interested in reading them. I mean I am planning on publising them anyway, once I actually finish the original one, but still.
#listen how many Die drei Fragezeichen/The three investigators fans are also Alex Rider fans? I just know about three#who are me + a friend of mine and a random twitter user I once saw had tweeted about both D3F and AR at one point#any D3F fans who are AF fans also would be very cool#just saying#I ramble about things#gonna reblog this onto my D3F and my AR side blog in a minute#Alexmis#alex rider x artemis fowl#Alex Rider/Artemis Fowl#Alex Rider/Justus Jonas#Alex Rider/Peter Shaw#Alex Rider/Bob Andrews#Alex Rider/Justus Jonas/Peter Shaw/Bob Andrews#alex rider#artemis fowl#justus jonas#peter shaw#bob andrews#alex rider tv#cause do you really think I would let Kyra not be there?#my AR side blog title includes Tomlexyra in it for a reason#die drei fragezeichen#the three investigators#d3f#die drei ???#My stuff D3F x AR Crossover edition
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Character list of who I write for
Outer Banks🏝🏄♀️🫶🏻
Rafe Cameron
JJ Maybank
John B Routledge
Pope Heyward
Greys Anatomy🏥🩺❤️🩹
Alex Karev
Jackson Avery
Mark Sloan
Derek Shepherd
Andrew DeLuca
Atticus Linchon
The Summer I Turned Pretty🌞👙🏖️
Jeremiah Fisher
Conrad Fisher
Others 🫶🏻
Drew Starkey
Rudy Pankow
Beau Arlen (Big Sky)
Travis Stone (Big Sky)
Baxter Radic (Surviving Summer)
Joe Jonas
Nick Jonas
#outer banks#rafe x reader#fluffy#rafe cameron#jj maybank#john b routledge#drew starkey#outer banks imagine#greys anatomy#greys anatomy imagine#alex karev#jackson avery#derek shepherd#mark sloan#andrew deluca#tsitp imagine#the summer i turned pretty#conrad fisher#jeremiah fisher#light angst#chandler bing#rafe imagine#jj mayback imagine#big sky#beau arlen#Travis stone#joe jonas#nick jonas#baxter radic#outer banks fanfiction
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Good morning kisses ☆
Summary: you and Jonas have been dating for two (2) months now, and memories haven’t faded as much as you’d expect…..
pairing(s): Nona and Ren are hinted in the first part to this, You and Jonas obvi.
Warnings: fem reader hinted but not specified, and cigarettes, slight mention of nightmares and cussing?
a/n: hey y'all, I'm back. sorry for the long hiatus, I've been struggling with my mental health. I'm mostly fine now tho, and I'm over my writer's block so I can finally do this again😗✌️
(very short) PART 2 TO the aftermath ☆ UNDER THE CUT!! :D
Ugh. why is it so dark here? wait. I'm running? why are there triangles again? You think to yourself. This situation is scary to you, as it reminds you of the trauma you had dealt with roughly two (2) months ago. You feel tears running down your cheeks and you feel as if everything is happening again. You feel someone shaking you, and you wake up from the nightmare. "Jonas?" you ask before rubbing your eyes and opening them.
“Are you okay?” Jonas asks in a sweet voice. “yeah.. I just…” you just stutter out, Jonas is confused and just waits on you to finish your sentence “I had a dream… i-it was about what happened on uh, Edward’s Island.” you say, stumbling over your words like they’re shoes 4 sizes too big, but he just looks at you “I’m sorry…” he says, then kisses your tears away. “I love you, my beautiful girl “ he says and you just light up with a smile, as this is the first time he’s said this to you “I love you too” and he kisses your forehead, as you two enjoy each other’s warmth.
#fluff#oxenfree#x reader#jonas x reader#jonas oxenfree x you#fluffy#loving jonas#rq#trauma?#love#jonas#alex#nona#ren#oxenfree fic#oxenfree fluff#oxenfree II#oxenfree2
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dark x-men #2 - "wings off flies"
written by steve foxe, art by jonas scharf, colors by frank martin
#comics#x-men#marvel#dark x-men#madelyne pryor#alex summers#totally biased but this is the best comic out#steve foxe#jonas scharf
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Spot the difference games are getting a lot harder
#x files#gillian anderson#david duchovny#fox mulder#dana scully#alex krycek#walter skinner#joe jonas#kevin jonas#nick jonas#jonas brothers#cigarette smoking man#the x files#spot the difference
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Preview: Dark X-Men #1 (of 5)
Dark X-Men #1 preview. Madelyne Pryor realizes the world needs the X-Men now more than ever! Welcome to the Dark X-Men! #fallofx #comics #comicbooks #xmen
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Till Death Do Us Part
Barça x R | Lionesses x R | Matildas x R Warnings: Childbirth Complications (Amniotic Fluid Embolism), Death, Grief (please tell me if I’ve missed any) - also google translated Spanish/Catalan
Edited
Hopefully this is good, let me know what you think. Inspired by Ed Sheeran's song "Welcome to the World" (Was going to wait to post but yeah, posting it now)
“Irene, have you spoken to-” Alexia was stopped in her tracks when she turned the corner into the locker room, there you stood, the person Alexia was about to ask Irene if she had spoken too. There you stood, holding your two week old baby in your arms. There you stood in the middle of the locker room, rocking her as tears streamed down your face.
“C-can some-” you choked out as you gestured to the baby in your arms who Irene carefully scooped up into her arms before walking back out the room and shutting the door.
Alexia caught you as you threw yourself at her. She held your trembling body in her arms. The sobs wracking your body so deep and heavy they were silent. Alexia held onto you tightly, knowing no amount of reassurance could make the pain go away. Nothing would ever take this pain away. Nothing could ever bring your wife back, nothing could ever bring your daughter's other Mum back. Your wife, your life partner, died two weeks ago during birth, what was meant to be the happiest day of your life, wasn't, she had an amniotic fluid embolism. You had meet her when she first joined Barça, Lucy and Kiera introduced you to 'Australian Alex', being one of two Alex's at City she was given that nickname, her full name was Alexandra but she hated it. You felt an instant connection, you trusted her, which was weird because you were careful with who you let into your life you were quite and reserved usually until Alexia managed to convince you that they were a good person and you could trust them. You signed for Barça the same year as Alexia, you were English breed and born but you moved to Spain when you were ten, so you moved through the ranks of La Masia before singing with Barça meaning you grew close to Alexia over the years even though you were two years younger than her, you both were always two of the youngest players on any of your teams. Your parents died 6 months after you signed for Barça and Alexia and her family helped you through it, Eli told you she was going to be your 'mother' from now on, and that she was. You went to every family diner, you spent Christmas with them, you were always the first person Eli went to, to ask questions when she was concerned about her eldest daughter.
2 weeks ago
“It’s okay, you’re doing so good,” you told her as she threw up again, “are you sure it’s normal she is throwing up this much?” you asked the nurse yet again who just dismissed you.
“It hurts,” she whimpered out.
“I know, I’m so sorry, I wish I could help, I wish I could make it better,” you said as you pressed the emergency call button continuously.
“What’s going on? Is everything okay?” The doctor said as he rushed in.
“I-I can’t breath,” she panted out before just about every monitor in the room started to alarm.
“She’s crashing, bag her. Call a code blue, we need an OR stat,” the doctor ordered.
The sound of the wheels being unlocked reverberated around the room, joining the symphony of alarms, and she was whisked away. Wheeled down the hall, gone, you were left standing, in the empty room, wondering what had gone completely and utterly wrong, this was meant to be the best day of your lives.
“Bronze, Walsh, I can trust you,” Irene said, relieved.
“Door. Baby. Don’t let anyone go in. Do not go in.” She said as she passed the newborn into Kiera’s arms, who started to rock her gently whilst cooing at her, “I’ll be back. I need to go talk to Jona. If Alexia asks for me, that's where I am.” she said as she started to walk off, before turning back around, “But I repeat do not open the door,” the two English women nodded blankly as Lucy moved to stand in front of the door. They were pretty sure they could hear someone crying through the door. It wasn’t Alexia.
“She is so cute.” Kiera said looking at Lucy who looked at the baby, before Kiera looked back down and Lucy lifted her gaze to the ceiling, “but to whom do you belong? And what’s going on in there?” Kiera asked whilst Lucy was trying to suppress her tears, the sight of the baby, your baby, brought tears to her eyes.
“Luce, don’t you think she looks familiar?” Kiera asked as she looked up at the defender again, seeing her eyes glossed over, the ginger’s heart immediately sank. It was you who was crying, it was your baby, “oh,” Kiera let slip.
“Yeah,” the defender bit her lip and nodded slightly.
2 months and 2 weeks since Alexia held your sobbing body in the locker room. 2 months and 2 weeks after moving into Alexia’s spare room, you found yourself in Bilbao. You found yourself in the Champions League Final starting XI. You found yourself leading your line out. It was a bittersweet moment, but you knew she was watching from above, and your now 3 month old baby was in the family section in the arms of Alexia’s mother. Every single Barcelona player and staff member wore a black armband. Everyone agreed (without your input) that this game would be for her.
____
Yet again you found yourself on the verge of tears, something that seemed common these days. However Alexia’s actions had confused you enough to help keep them at bay. She had lined up at the start of the medal line to collect her medal, which was confusing in and of itself as she was the one who needed to collect the trophy, but then she handed her medal to Ingrid and lined back up behind you. However the confusion Alexia caused was slowly being taken over by the never ending pit of sadness inside you, and as you walked up onto that podium you realised going last maybe wasn’t the best idea. There were two medals left to be handed out, and you knew exactly who the, now spare, medal belonged to, you received your medal and kept walking fast, until you arrived in front of Lucy, turning around to face the podium again, knowing Alexia was going to make a speech before lifting the trophy. Lucy wrapped her arms around you from behind and placed her chin on your shoulder, the action spreading some warmth in you, temporarily hiding the pain.
You watched Alexia nod in the direction of Jona who nodded back to her before she pulled her shirt off, revealing a second shirt, the tears couldn’t be kept at bay anymore and when she collected that final medal you let out a silent sob as your tears became heavier.
Alexia made sure to display the back of the shirt to all sides of the filled stadium before taking the microphone, beginning a speech, different to her normal one. She was explaining who you’d all played the match for. She was informing the fans, something you hadn’t even thought about doing. Alexia teared up as she spoke, having to swallow back her emotions every once in a while. That’s when you realised it, she was gone forever. You started to cry harder and Lucy turned you around in her arms and held you tightly, as your body shook from your tears. You were transferred into Alexia’s arms at one stage, she was also crying, because she missed her, but she was also crying for you, for your daughter, for all the moments you will never get to have together as a family.
“Thank you,” you sputtered out as you leaned back from the hug, she took your head in her hands, as she shook her head at you, using the pads of her thumbs to wipe your tears away, causing a small smile to crack on both of your faces.
“Let’s go lift this trophy shall we,” you both laughed. Maybe? Before you hugged each other tightly and went to join the rest of the team who were waiting. After a few trophy lifts your families were allowed onto the pitch, and Mapi immediately took your baby girl from Eli and placed her in the trophy cup, before she carefully lifted it up, earning a scowl from Alexia, who promptly rescued her niece.
_____
“Do you think Auntie Ellie will want to meet you?” you asked the 3 month old. Strategically positioning yourself close enough so that the Australian would hear, but far enough away that she hadn’t seen you yet.
“Really,” she said as she lifted her head from Dan’s shoulder and looked up to you.
“Of course.” you said as you walked over to her, handing her your daughter to hold.
“Ellie meet Matilda Alex Y/L/N”
#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso x reader#barca femeni x reader#barcelona femeni x reader#barca femeni imagine#lionesses x reader#lionesses x r#lionesses imagine#matildas x r#matildas x reader#matildas imagine#alexia putellas x reader#alexia x reader#alexia putellas imagine#lucy bronze x reader
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oh
May 28, 2020
Oscar has been home for two months now and getting to live with his family again has been really nice, he doesn’t know when he will get to play hockey again but he is enjoying the time with his family.
Oscar was in bed having woke up very recently and hoped onto a group FaceTime with Jesper and Nico as they are both home as well and it’s a lot later in the day for them.
Oscar looked away from the call on his laptop hearing his phone ding and didn’t realize he was smiling as he saw it was Jack texting him and he started texting back.
Oscar and Jack have been texting quite a lot the last two months and face timing some times as well.
Oscar was so focused on responding to Jack he didn’t realize Jesper and Nico were talking to him.
“Beds!” Jesper yelled at the microphone after Nico and him called Oscar many times and Oscar didn’t even twitch.
Oscar pulled back from him phone and looked over at the screen seeing identical looks on both of their faces, “What?”
“Who are you texting?” Nico asked titling his head curiously, he has a good idea who Oscar is texting but wants to be sure.
“Jack why?” Oscar answered furrowing his brows at the two as they shared a look with identical grins.
“Hughes?!?” Jesper teased with a smirk laughing slightly.
Nico and Jesper have both noticed how Oscar has slowly gotten softer towards Jack over the last few months and Oscar has never acted this way towards anyone else before.
“Yes.” Oscar looked at the two suspiciously.
“Are you gonna admit you have feelings for Hughes?” Nico gently questioned watching as Oscar blanched in shock.
“I-“ Oscar stumbled over his words, he truthfully never thought about what he feels for Jack.
Oscar remembered the way his heart clenched seeing Jack sad and the want to comfort him, his heart softening when Jack got his first goal and Jack was beaming as he celebrated on the ice with Oscar, how much he enjoyed seeing Jack wearing his hoodie, getting pretzels for Jack even though he absolutely despises them, how he smiles and laughs so much more with Jack than any other of his friends.
“Oh.” Oscar blinked in realization, he likes Jack.
“Mhmm.” Jesper nodded smugly glad Oscar is finally noticing his feelings.
“That was obvious.” Oscar deadpanned, he realized all he had to do was think of about his feelings once and he would have figured out ahah he was feeling for Jack.
Nico and Jesper started laughing at their best friend.
“It was very obvious.” Nico chuckled but still look slighty sympathetic towards Oscar.
Oscar playfully grimaced but chuckled with his best friends.
#oscarbedardau#ob98#jack hughes#jack hughes x oc#luke hughes#luke hughes x oc#quinn hughes#quinn hughes x oc#connor bedard x oc#connor bedard#new jersey devils#nj devils#bowen byram#nico hischier x oc#nico hischier#nico daws#jesper bratt#jonas siegenthaler#john marino x oc#dawson mercer#simon nemec#miles wood#taylor hall#curtis lazar#tyler toffoli#chicago blackhawks#nhl blackhawks#nhl x oc#nhl au#alex holtz x oc
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Arsenal x teen r where she has had a really tiring day and falls asleep on the bench during the game. (Minor ausenal x r bc she’s a Tillie)
the big screen
Arsenal x teen!reader
super short but pretty cute
Warnings: none
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You were still sprinting. It felt like you hadn’t stopped in days. Receiving a ball from Lia you made your way around some of the west ham girls, ball at your feet, running towards Beth who seemed to be completely open and running up with you, before you no longer felt the ground at your boots and were knocked down.
Quickly getting up and throwing your hands up at the ref who kept on running with the play, you were running up and down once again. Your body was younger than the rest of the team, so you could physically handle longer minutes than most of the older girls. And were usually playing a full game, but, tonight it was killing you.
When you finally found your number on the substitution board you quickly made your way over to the sidelines, bringing in Kyra for a split hug before she was taking your position for the remaining time.
A few of your closest teammates were currently on the bench. You hugged Jonas briefly and he acknowledged your great efforts, Viv and Vic split from sitting next to each other so you could sit in between, vic shuffling over one seat.
Puffer and water bottle now in hand you comepletly collapsed into the seat. Throwing your head back in exhaustion.
“Brilliant work tiny!!” Vic cheerfully said ruffling your hair
“Thanks” you smiled at her
“Yeah you played incredible” Viv said rubbing your arm. Leah quickly made her way over from where she was to squeeze both your hands standing in front of you.
“Brilliant effort so so proud of you” she smiled at you.
During the match, you managed to assist two goals in the first half, with Beth and Steph.
2 minutes later, your head met Viv’s shoulder. You were incredibly tired and as the hammers slotted in their first goal, you sighed, your eyes slowly shutting.
commentators ;
“Now looking at that incredibly talented bench for the um Arsenal. Including injured Leah Williamson, England captain, who is set to play her first match back in early 2024”
the camera quickly zooms over to you asleep.
“And our teenage star for Arsenal seems to have fallen asleep” the commentator laughs along with the other two on the microphones. Some in the stadium laugh at your fast asleep state on the big screen amongst emirates stadium.
Vic, wanting to see your reaction, quickly shakes you awake, your eyes slowly flutter open with both Viv and Vic laughing. You immediately saw a replay of your face asleep, now flicking back to the present image of you laughing. Face bright red. Before it quickly pans back to the game.
“Why did you let me fall asleep!” You exclaim hitting Viv in the chest.
“You’re a cute sleeper tiny” Viv giggles.
——————
You were pulled by Leah to join her post-match interview with Alex Scott. You were familiar with the ex Arsenal girl and looked up to her as a role model.
“Hello star!” Smiled Alex as she hugged you, before hugging Leah. Someone working for the broadcast handing both of you microphones. “Now y/n, you ran insane, you were always on the ball. Your performance definitely impacted the result of today’s victory. How are you feeling right now?” Alex said slightly giggling with the last part.
“Physically; tired-“
“Oh sweetie we know” Alex laughed with Leah.
“You know I’m not super proud of Emirates stadium seeing that! I don’t know how I managed to fall asleep right there” you exclaimed laughing
“no but obviously a little sore in the legs but mentally so so proud of this team. To Steph and Beth for both of there incredible shots. And everyone who gave their ultimate effort, we took another win and we will take it again next week” you smiled with pride.
Slightly looking at Leah as you spoke, looking for an acknowledgment that you were saying the right words. She would just smile and nod at you to keep going.
“I’m sure the team is so proud of the effect you have made on the team since your singing” Alex said, directing towards Leah
“Yeah we all watch her play and give it 100% every weekend and it’s incredible, and you know in training she’s a tough player to get past I won’t lie” you smiled as Leah spoke, hearing the girls you have looked up to since you were a little girl made your heart heat up immensely.
“Oh awesome well I’ll catch up with you lot later and enjoy your night”
“Thanks Alex” you both smiled before leaving the interview and hugging her goodbye.
“Now let’s get you back home so you can sleep hey?” Leah said squeezing your shoulders as you walked across the pitch.
“Har har. Now please carry me” you said sarcastically before smiling at the taller girl. She slightly rolled her eyes before turning around ready for you to jump on her back.
“Woo!” You yelled as Leah ran with you on her back.
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kinda made me cringe at this writing but oh well.
Love you all xx
#woso#arsenal women#arsenal#caitlin foord#katie mccabe#leah williamson#kyra cooney cross#ausenal#woso x teen reader#woso x reader#arsenal x reader#arsenal wfc
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The X-Men are here.
(Dark X-Men #1)
#dark x-men#x-men#goblin queen#madelyn pryor#havok#alex summers#azazel#zero#splat#uh#mutants#fall of x#dat rack#steve foxe#jonas scharf#marvel comics#comics#2020s comics
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pain, sweet, pain | leah williamson x arsenal team
leah’s return from her acl injury is nothing like what she wanted nor expected, but her team are there to help her up when she’s down.
content: hurt/comfort, angst, sadness, pain.
Leah’s never been a good loser.
Whether it was U8s playing with the boys, or playing for Arsenal, or playing for England.
She knows this, it’s both her biggest strength and weakness. She likes to think that it makes her a better player and person, because she experiences the highs and lows like nobody else, but realistically she knows that's just the part of her that hates that she feels so inherently deeply worthless when she team loses and it feels she's somewhat at fault.
Captain Leah would never in her wildest dreams blame a loss on anyone, because she plays an eleven person game, a team game, one person cannot take the sole blame for a whole 90 minutes plus stoppage time.
Leah, 26 year old Leah, who's just coming back from an ACL injury and feels like her world is ending, can’t do anything but blame herself.
Never in her life has Leah felt so worthless, so scared for the future.
She’s worked so hard, worked every single day of recovery, for her knee and for her mind.
She’d thought she was ready, and physically she is, but mentally absolutely nothing prepares you for the moment when you step back on the field for your first game as a starter and you play like absolute shite.
Leah’s worked for over a year, tirelessly, to get to this point, she’d dreamt about it her whole recovery, dreaming of a pinnacle, a perfect moment at the end of the treacherous path, it had seemed perfect.
Realistically, Leah knows that it was never going to look exactly like that, but she’d hoped for something more, happiness, joy, a good game, fulfilment above all else.
Yet, she’s left feeling the complete opposite.
Leah didn’t wait around on the pitch, she was inconsolable, and she knew it, she didn’t need fans seeing her vulnerable, she didn’t need Sarina who had travelled all this way to see Leah play look at Leah with that look of disappointment that you could always catch in the corner of her eye. Leah just couldn’t do it, she couldn’t ever bear to look at Kim, her captain who cared so deeply at her, she couldn’t face that, couldn’t face a woman who was the person who was supposed to keep her accountable but also pick her up when she’s down.
So Leah slips away, slips into the tunnel before she gets stuck in some stupid surface conversation with Alex or Jill, even though she’s desperate to catch up with them, she just can’t do it right now. Drawing with Man City feels like a loss, Arsenal are second on the ladder, the only team they should be drawing or losing to is Chelsea, or at least that’s what Leah’s brain is telling her.
She slips into the bathroom, going unnoticed by anybody in the tunnel and keeping her eyes on her cleats as she makes her way into the away team lockers.
Leah doesn’t sit down, she moves straight to the bathroom, stepping into the first stall and locking the door behind her before she slides down onto the floor, bringing her knees to her chest and her head down onto her kneecaps.
Leah can’t breathe, Leah can’t think, all Leah can do is sit on the floor, contemplating whether it was all really worth it, whether the fucking months of blood, sweat and tears amounted to this. She doesn’t think so, Leah’s telling herself that all of that time, all the wishful thinking, all of the bullshit that she put up with is pointless.
She is Leah Williamson, England Captain, European champion.
Yet she had never felt more like an imposter in her own body.
Alex and Beth had told her about how playing her first full game would be the best moment of her life, especially after sitting out for a whole year.
It was a big step, sure, she’d been getting on the pitch, but being on for ten minutes of stoppage time hardly counted as playing, when Jonas had told her that he planned to have her start the Man City match Leah was excited, ecstatic even, in hindsight it was false confidence.
“Le, honey, are you in there?”
Leah realises that there are tears rolling down her cheeks, subconscious tears of anguish that she hurries to swipe away with the hem of her jersey.
Leah tries to silence herself, for long enough that Lia will leave her be, but she inevitably knows that even though Lia phrased it as a question, she knows Leah is hiding in the stall.
Leah and Lia are…. confusing.
Especially for Leah.
It’s this weird friends with benefits arrangement that somehow started after Caitlin and Lia broke up, it wasn’t very long after Leah and Jordan had broken up and one drunken celebratory night they fell into eachothers bedsheets.
It was blurred lines, sex and emotions that neither of them were ready to face.
Leah loved Lia, in so many ways, but she couldn’t do this, she couldn’t be vulnerable in front of a person that she had frequent casual sex with.
The sex was a confidence booster, for both of them, it made them both feel better, stronger, and Leah was fairly certain that Lia seeing her like this would wreck that.
“Le, baby, open up for me?”
Leah knows that she’s shaking, it’s the middle of fucking winter in London and she’s sitting in a tiled, cold bathroom in nothing more than her uniform. She doesn’t care though, she doesn’t care about anything, the only thing she is thinking about is how the fuck she is going to return to the locker rooms without looking like a complete fucking wreck.
“Leave me alone Lia, I’m fine.”
It’s a blatant lie, both women know it. The breakage and croakiness in Leah’s voice is enough of a sign.
“Don’t be like this Le, whatevers up, we can sort it out together, just open up the door.”
Leah can feel the sickness rising up in her throat, can feel the pain and anxiety coursing through her bloodstream.
“Lia I told you to fuck off, get the fuck out, I’m fine.”
Leah only just manages to get the expletives out before reaching for the bowl of the toilet, the sound of gagging filling the silent bathroom.
Leah hates the acidic flavour that rises up from her throat and directly out of her mouth into the bowl, the clear white being tarnished with the slightly orange tinged bile, Leah supposed it was probably from the gatorade that had been handed out at half time.
“Le, honey, you can open the door for me, I won’t judge you.”
Leah knows that Lia is just trying to be nice, that the Swiss woman really does have a heart of gold and would never judge Leah, not even at her darkest moment. But her mind is betraying her, everything she believes in seems false.
“Lia get the fuck out.”
It’s almost a scream, definitely a yell.
The overwhelming silence that comes after it is deafening.
Then Leah’s ears are blessed with the sound of cleats slowly trailing away from her, it’s the first time since the whistle blew at the start of the game that she feels just a smidge of peace.
Leah tries to pick herself up from the floor, at least the toilet bowl, but it’s a losing battle, the uneasiness in her stomach suddenly forcing more bile up her throat.
Leah hadn’t eaten this morning, so most of it was just bile and liquids that she’d had before the game and at halftime, it burned her throat, making the already abundant ache so much more prominent.
It’s just as Leah is finally pulling her head out, swiping her long blonde ponytail out of the way that she hears the sound of a loud and deft knock against the stall door.
“Leah Williamson, open up, right now.”
Leah’s body shivers more than it was before, whatever gods are up there, she just prays that Kim didn’t hear her vomiting, or crying, or anything.
“I’m fine Kim, leave me alone.”
Leah sounds even more of a mess than she did a few minutes ago when she was trying to convince Lia of the same thing.
“I didn’t ask if you were fine, I told you to open the door.”
Kim’s Scottish accent is so deep, so enunciated in the way it always seems to be when she’s using her stern captain's voice.
“Kim, please just leave.”
Leah is pleading, something that she hates to do, but if Kim asks her once more with that voice she knows she’s not going to resist. So she’s not necessarily pleading to be left alone, but she is pleading for Kim to not push, to not force her to do something she doesn’t want to.
“Leah Cathrine, open the door now, if I have to ask again I will exercise other options to get to you.”
Leah hates how responsive she is to Kim’s voice, she doesn’t manage to get herself up from the bowl, but she does manage to reach one of her long and gangly arms up to the lock and flip it to the side, leaving the door unlocked.
It takes Kim a total of a second to fling the door open.
She doesn’t waste time in the doorframe looking Leah up and down, she steps into the stall, locking the door behind her immediately and sitting down against the door, where Leah had previously been sat.
Kim doesn’t say anything, pretends that she doesn’t notice the tear tracks and snot all over Leah’s face. Instead she extends a windbreaker out towards Leah. Leah shakes her head and Kim just shakes her head, still holding her arm out.
“Leah take the fucking jacket, I won’t be the one to tell your mother that you got hypothermia because you refused to put a jacket on after a game.”
Then it hits Leah, there are people here, at the game, for her.
Her mother, grandmother, father, brother.
Keira even managed to make the trip down just for this game, and yet Leah is crumpled over in a loo, having a fucking breakdown.
Kim shoves the jacket at Leah, and Leah just gives in, pulling it around her shoulders but leaving her arms out so she doesn’t have to remove them from the toilet seat, out of fear that whatever is left contained in her stomach will arise.
Leah and Kim stay that way for a while, Kim just sitting and watching Leah carefully, whilst Leah clutches onto the toilet seat.
She vomits once again, but this time it’s just stomach acid, it burns but it makes her stomach rest a little bit easier, easy enough for Leah to push herself up from the toilet bowl and rest against the wall beside her, so she’s diagonal from Kim.
“Don’t you have teammates to pep up?”
Kim just furrowed her eyebrows at Leah.
“Yes, you.”
Leah grimaces at that answer, she isn’t normally the consoled, normally the consoler, taking up the same job that Kim is right now.
“There are people who have bigger problems right now than I do.”
Kim nods, which throws Leah off a little bit.
“Yes, there are, but I think you’ve been needing this a lot longer than you’d care to admit.”
Leah can’t look at Kim’s eyes, can’t bear the amount of concern that is being directed at her, so she keeps her eyes on her cleats.
They’re muddy, and sopping wet, and Leah’s feet are shivering like crazy, her toes numb from the cold.
“Needing what?”
The question hangs in the air, empty but yet also so full with wonder.
“Needing attention, comfort, vulnerability, needing to not be the invincible Leah Williamson for a minute.”
Leah can’t disagree with Kim, even if she wanted to, it’s just a lie that Kim would catch her out on, and she’s dealt with enough disappointment today.
“I should be happy, on cloud nine, it’s my first game back.”
Leah’s voice betrays her, betrays every single thing that she’s wishing she was feeling.
“There isn’t anything you should be, there are things you can want to feel, but there’s no exact way that you should be feeling right now. Remember Viv’s comeback? Recovery isn’t linear Leah, you know that.”
Kim’s scolding her a little bit, she knows how to get through to Leah, she needs tough love, none of the soft pity bullshit.
“I played like shit, you should be yelling at me not sitting on the bathroom floor with me looking at me like I’m a kicked puppy.”
Kim cocks her head, this is how she works her way in, she doesn’t even have to ask the questions, she just slowly works the answers out, she can play the long game.
“You missed a few passes and intercepts, it's not the end of the world, so did everyone. Do you think I should be yelling at them? We had a bad game Leah, it happens.”
Kim’s words are strong, passionate, but Leah knows there is a lingering question hanging beneath them.
“Leah, how are you doing?”
It’s such a bleak question, so simple but yet so impossible to answer.
“I’m fine, I’m good, I’m back on the pitch, I’m happy.”
It’s all lies, Leah is fairly certain that she hasn’t felt fine or good in a few weeks now, and definitely not happy. She doesn’t think she deserves to feel happy, especially not when she’s been playing how she has.
“You know that you don’t have to sugar coat things with me, you don’t need to lie to me for the sake of trying to get me to leave you alone, it won’t work.”
Kim is probably the most stubborn and selfless person Leah knows, it’s normally the thing she admires most about the Scot, but right now she couldn’t detest it more.
“Leah, you do know it’s okay to be upset, or annoyed, you're coming back from a major injury, I’d be concerned if you weren’t feeling some of those things.”
Kim’s words are reassurances, she’s trying to send Leah into a false sense of comfort, enough comfort that she’ll start to open up to Kim, that she’ll finally let all of her walls and mental barricades down.
“Kim, seriously, I’m fine.”
Kim exhales, deeply, she’s letting go of her lenient side, breathing it out and expelling the soft part of her that was dancing circles around Leah’s mental state, hoping that she’d open up on her own, but it was crystal clear that was Leah was not going to be volunteering that information.
“Leah, have you been struggling?”
It’s a blunt question, and as Leah looks up at Kim with complete shock and fear on her face she can’t find anything besides concern and questioning in her eyes.
“What does that matter?”
It’s a deflection, a weak one, an attempt at trying to pivot Kim, Leah knows subconsciously though that it’s not going to work, Kim sees through it.
“I’m worried about you, I know a lot of the team is. I know you’re struggling Leah, whether you want to admit it or not.”
Leah forces herself to take a deep breath, the unwavering depth in her Captain’s eyes is unmissable, tormenting her from a metre away.
“Leah for the last month you’ve looked like you’re on the cusp of a nervous breakdown, and that’s okay, there is nothing wrong with that. But feeling that way for a whole month isn’t normal.”
Leah knows Kim is right, the older Scot is hardly ever wrong, she’s only seven years older than Leah, but sometimes Kim seems wiser than her mother, sometimes she treats Leah like her daughter, this moment is one of those moments.
“Kim, please just leave me alone.”
Leah is pleading, begging, praying that Kim will just leave her be, stop trying to make her feel things that she doesn’t want to.
“I’ll shut up but I’m not leaving you alone, not when you feel like this.”
Leah feels like Kim knows what she’s feeling better than Leah does, and that’s a weird feeling, knowing that Kim knows exactly what swirly weird thoughts are happening in Leah’s confusing brain.
“Leah, you’re obviously not doing very well.”
Leah cuts Kim off before she can say much more, because she’s honestly sick of hearing Kim’s half lecturing half concerned voice in her ear.
“Thanks for stating the obvious Kim, no, I’m not doing fucking well, I’m pretty sure a blind man could figure it out, so please, for gods sakes, leave me the fuck alone.”
In some strange way, it’s like music to Kim’s ear, hearing Leah openly admit her problems, because it means that Kim is slowly easing her up, slowly getting her to hone in on her emotions.
“Leah, talk to me, what’s up?”
All of a sudden Leah’s face contorts into one of genuine pain, and Kim feels her gut drop for a second.
“Kim I need you to just leave me the fuck alone like I’ve already fucking asked you too.”
Kim likes to think that she’s fairly lenient, she knows how much her girls, her teammates, can take. She knows how to handle most situations, and to an outsider, in this situation they’d probably say that Kim should leave Leah alone.
Kim knows Leah, just like she knows everybody else on the team. She knows that Leah, in all of her stubbornness and masking, often needs someone there for her, although she’d never admit it.
“Leah Cathrine, you can be as angry as you’d like, but you won’t talk to me or anybody like that, especially someone who is just trying to look out for you. Now, I’ll ask you once again, and give you the opportunity to answer me honestly before I haul your ass out of here and onto the bus. Leah, you know that I would never judge you, nobody on this team will ever judge you, and if they do they’ll have me to deal with. We all love you so much, you’re our Leah, our baby girl, and we all just want the best for you.”
Leah forces herself to take a breath, she feels more tears falling down her face as Kim’s words truly start to impact her.
“Sarina’s here, and I played like shit. My knee fucking kills, the olympics are in two months and I’m playing like shit. I’ve never had anxiety, never had a panic attack besides the euro finals, and all of a sudden, I’m a emotional fucking wreck and can’t get my shit together, I need to be better.”
Kim takes a good look at Leah’s franticness, it’s so unlike her, but also not unexpected.
“Leah, take some deep breaths for me honey, use your diaphragm.”
Kim’s voice has dropped a few octaves, and it’s lost all of the tension that was previously in it.
“Everyone on the team thinks I’m weak, stupid and weak, fucking useless.”
Kim stops Leah’s ramble before she takes it too far.
“Leah, listen to me. You are not weak, or stupid, or useless, or anything that your brain is telling you. You are recovering from a devastating injury. You are not perfect. You are doing your best.”
Leah looks up at Kim, with big doe eyes full of tears, she looks so helpless, like a young child.
“You are Sarina’s captain Leah, she’s going to pick you for the olympics. She’d be crazy not too, and if she doesn’t, which isn’t going to happen but with the off chance, then we can go watch them, or we can stay in London and work on your recovery. There will be people around, friends, family. You will not be alone.”
Leah doubts Kim, even though her captain sounds so sure she can’t help but feel a little bit insecure. Millie’s been doing her job for almost a year now, and she’s been doing a bloody good job of it, it makes Leah wonder if Sarina is even going to want her back, especially when her and Millie play the same position on the pitch.
“Leah, honey, I say this as someone who loves you and cares about you more than you’ll ever know. If your knee is hurting, then you should be telling the trainers, and not pushing it. You know your body, and if it’s hurting you need to rest. I know that you want to be playing, and you're finally allowed to so it’s this big deal, but you need to listen to your body and not hurt yourself further. I don’t want to have to tell Jonas and the trainers that you are playing through pain, so I need you to do it, before I bench you for endangering yourself.”
Kim hates how broken Leah looks, and if she could she’d pick Leah up and give her a big hug and say sorry for everything that she’s going through, and she’ll get to that, but right now, Leah is the most impressionable, and this is Kim’s chance to get through to her.
“Leah, every single person on this team loves you, no matter what. This team, this family, all of the love is completely unconditional, you don’t have to put on a brave face for them, I can guarantee you that if we walked into that locker room right now all they would want to do is make sure that you are okay. Nobody is here to condemn you, or make you feel like shit. We all care about you Leah, we’re all worried about you, not mad or angry.”
Leah looks up at Kim, her wobbling bottom lip between her teeth and tears, she looks so gutted, so much smaller than she really is.
“I failed them.”
It’s the first words that have left Leah’s mouth in a while, and it sends a sob barrelling directly from her lips.
This sob, this breakage, this sign of outward weakness speaks volumes to Kim, and it has her scooching over so she’s sitting beside Leah, their shoulders brushing up against each other. When Leah leans into the contact Kim raises one of her arms, putting it across the back of Leah’s shoulder blades and bringing the younger defender into her body.
Kim leans down, pressing her lips to Leah’s forehead, letting them linger for a little bit.
“Leah, honey, no matter what, you could never fail any of us, even if you had ten own goals in a final, none of us could care less, your our Le, our super star. You could never fail us.”
Leah forces herself to take a deep breath, to compose herself, Leah Williamson does not cry.
Except today, today she does, for so many different reasons, and yet absolutely no reason.
“I just don’t want to disappoint anybody, everyone needs me to be good, everyone expects me to be good.”
It’s like a mantra to Leah, a reminder, it’s her bible.
Leah Williamson does not lose, Leah Williamson does not disappoint, Leah Williamson cannot be a failure.
Yet today, it feels like she’s done all of those things, and it’s too much for her, too much for her heart to handle.
“Leah, I’m not wanting to rush you, we can sit here for as long as we have to for you to feel better, but the bus is waiting for us, and I know the girls really want to see you. Plus, my old lady knees are starting to cramp up in here.”
It’s lighthearted, but Leah feels the pressure fall down on her chest like a stack of heavy bricks.
Kim sees the change, and she does exactly what Leah needs, she brings her into her lap for a bone breaking hug.
“They’re going to be mad.”
Leah’s voice is a murmur, low and so quiet that Kim almost misses it.
“Leah I can promise you nobody in that room is going to be mad at you, proud, happy, overjoyed, yes. But one hundred percent not mad. We’ll go out there, get you changed out of these freezing clothes, you can talk to whoever you’d like to. We’ll leave the changerooms, there will probably be people there to talk to you, maybe Sarina, maybe so people from the press, probably your mum. Talk to whoever you want to, then we’ll hop on the bus and get back to the hotel. Okay? I just need you to be brave for me and do it, because I know you can, all of us girls know you can, okay?”
It takes Leah a little bit to nod in agreement with Kim, but eventually she does, her head lifting from its spot buried in Kim’s windbreaker.
“C’mon then, let’s get you up.”
Kim uses all of her strength to lift herself up off the floor, the pre match soreness has settled into her bones and muscles and she makes an internal joke about the old age really starting to get to her.
Once she’s stood up properly she reaches to pull Leah up, even if her back is aching and her knees are sore.
Leah’s unsteady on her legs, like a baby with sealegs, or a newborn baby horse. Kim has to quite literally manhandle Leah into leaning onto her, her arms wrapped around Kim’s much smaller form.
It’s uncomfortable, but Kim makes do, unlocking the stall and dragging Leah over to the sink.
“Wash your face off honey.”
Leah takes one look at herself in the mirror and is instantly shocked, her eyes are thoroughly red rimmed, puffy and altogether Leah just looks like a complete mess.
She leans down to the sink, turning the faucet and washing some of the ice cold water over her face. It doesn’t do much, it doesn’t really do anything besides wipe the tear stains from her face and make a little bit of the redness subside. Not enough to make it look like she hasn’t been crying herself sick, and definitely not enough to make it look like she has her shit together.
She wants to tell Kim to go ahead without her, but one look at the Scottish captain through the mirror tells Leah that anything she says is going to be useless.
So she swallows and spits a little bit of water to clean the acid taste from her mouth and then she stands herself up, righting her uniform and leaning herself back onto Kim, her legs and stomach feeling as uneasy as her current metal state.
When Kim makes it to the door of the bathroom, Leah feels her stomach drop, plummeting to her feet. Kim doesn’t hesitate, even with Leah draping her studs down against the concrete.
Leah keeps her head down, completely ashamed and unable to look at the faces of any of her teammates.
Kim leads her over to her cubby, sitting her down on the seat gently before sitting herself down in front of Leah, pulling off her soaked cleats and leaving them on the floor for later.
“Leah, honey, look at me please.”
Leah struggles to take her eyes from her lap, where her hands are sitting, fiddling aimlessly with the skin around her nail beds.
She eventually does though, keeping her eyes solely focused on Kim’s face, not letting her eyes travel to any of her teammates.
“You need to get changed, but my knees are really sore so I don’t think I can hold you up by myself, I need to go see one of the trainers. Who would you like to help you?”
No one.
That’s the answer that bounces around Leah’s head.
“I can do it myself.”
Leah’s words come from a stubborn mindset, the mindset that is making her feel even sicker for being so openly vulnerable.
“How about Viv and Beth, or Katie, or Jen?”
Leah hates all of the options, because they all include her having to be vulnerable with more people.
“I can do it myself.”
Kim rolls her eyes, her face still as stern and set as ever.
“It’s not up for argument Leah, I’m going to go get Viv, okay?”
If Leah had to make a choice, it would have been either Beth or Viv, because both of them have been through what she has, but Viv is the better option, because she won’t try and make jokes with Leah.
So Leah allows Kim to get up from the floor in front of her, and wander off to wherever she has too, to find Viv.
It’s about thirty seconds later that a pair of white nike shoes show up beside Leah’s sock covered feet.
“Leah, liefje, kom voor mij op?” Leah, love, stand up for me?
Leah’s not fluent in Dutch, she can’t speak a word of the language besides some simple conversation and basic terms of endearment, but for whatever reason she understands Viv perfectly.
Using the wall of her cubby as a crutch, she stands herself up, looking at Viv with a lot of questioning in her eyes.
Viv doesn’t wait for permission, she just reaches for the bottom of Leah’s jersey, lifting it up until Leah’s forced to put her arms up so Viv can pull it over her head.
Before leah’s left shivering, Viv’s helping her pull a long sleeve top and hoodie over her body, making her once freezing body a little bit warmer.
Once Viv has the hoodie pulled around Leah tightly she moves to her shorts, once again not waiting for permissions and tugging them as well as her compression shorts down.
Before she tugs the sweatpants on though, she secures a knee brace and ice pack to Leah’s knee.
Leah’s almost embarrassed about the fact that she nearly moans when the ice makes contact with her knee, the cold contrast feeling so incredible on her inflamed and sore skin.
Viv then moves onto the sweatpants, pulling Leah’s feet through the bottoms of them and then pulling them up and over her knees gently before securing the pants loosely around Leah’s hips.
Once her clothes are on, and Leah is feeling a little bit happier and spacey from the welcome warmth, Viv sits her back down on the bench.
She pulls Leah’s socks off, dutch simplicity leaving her lips as she gently applies, newer and softer socks to Leah’s feet, Viv’s warm hands gently rubbing over Leah’s feet as she pulls the socks over her toes and ankle, before pulling out a pair of ugg boots that Leah has never seen before and tugging them onto her feet.
Normally, Leah would revolt against the break of uniform, but she’s too tired, too vulnerable, too broken to care.
Viv can apparently tell, because in a few seconds time there is a group of girls flanking her, all with the same soft, calm expressions on their faces.
Katie, Beth, Viv, Jen and Lia.
“Hey baby girl, time to get you to the bus hey?”
It’s Beth’s gentle voice, quiet and soft.
“M’ sorry.”
It’s the only thing going through Leah’s brain, endlessly repeating like a record that keeps replaying.
“Hey, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for and we’ll talk about it on the bus, but we just need to get you there, okay? So Viv and Jen are going to help you, Katie will grab your things and I’ll make sure that any press stragglers stay away, okay?”
Leah feels defeated, and broken, but she nods anyway.
Jen and Viv reach down to pull her up, Beth leading the way out of the change rooms and back into the tunnel. Luckily, there are no stragglers, and the trip is fairly easy, Kim joining the group somewhere along the way with ice packs secured to both of her knees but she looks as if she's in good enough spirits.
They manage to manhandle Leah onto the bus and into a seat, cocooned between Kim and a window.
Kim whispers sweet nothings in her ear the whole ride home, reassurances that Leah doesn’t really hear with her ringing ears.
It’s actually Viv who brings Leah out of her trance, pulling Kim out of her seat beside her so Viv can sit down.
Leah, liefde, listen to me for a second please.”
Leah takes a deep breath.
“You did everything you could have, we all did everything we could have, this is not your fault nor your burden to take. None of us will accept you taking the burden for this. You can’t allow yourself to, because this,” Viv’s hand falls on Leah’s puffed up knee, covered with an ice pack, butLeah understands what she means.
“Is not going to get better if you don’t allow yourself to heal mentally. We’re all here for you, we’re all going to carry you when you are down, please Leah, for me, for your mum, for anybody, just let yourself rest. We’ll review, and as a team we will get better, but we need you beside us getting better as well, we need you out here leading the team, like we all know you can. Take a night, reflect and then come back tomorrow with the mindset that you have something to prove, to us, to Jonas, to Sarina, yes?”
Leah looks at Viv, looks at how genuine she is, how she definitely knows exactly what Leah is feeling.
The words linger for a few seconds, before a mass of Arsenal hoodies are piling on top of Leah and Viv, a struggle of arms and hands securing themselves around Leah.
It’s warm, happy and loving.
It’s everything that Leah has been working to create in this environment for years, not for herself, for everyone around her. But having it come back to her, it hits her like a freight train, and suddenly, or not so suddenly, Leah realises that she’s not doing everything by herself, she doesn’t have to when this is her team.
#woso#woso community#leah williamson#arsenal wfc#leah williamson x arsenal#kim little#baby vivi#vivianne miedema#leah makes me cry#i love leah williamson#golden retriever leah vibes#love angst#i love some hurt/comfort#hurt/comfort#im hurtin#marry me rn
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Best Character Named X Poll
FOLLOW @best-character-named-x-poll
I'm doing a series of "Best Character Named X" polls where all the characters have the same first name but are from completely different media, feel free to send in name/charcacter suggestions, I'm posting one poll a day. New polls scheduled for 1:30PM GMT everyday.
ask box closed for now
WILL BE POSTING POLLS ON @best-character-named-x-poll FROM FEB 1ST
If your favourite character is not included in the poll very sorry i have either never heard of them or actively chose not to include them as theres only 6 characters per poll. Characters will only count of that is their first name, surnames do not count.
Round 85: David
Round 86: Tiffany
Round 87: Charlie
Round 88: Sandy
Round 89: Cody
Round 90: Amanda
Round 91: Jeremy
Past Polls and Poll Ideas under the cut
Names that I have a complete list for*
Caroline, Tyler, Louis, Leonard, Rebecca, Steve, Nicole, Isabelle, Victoria, Katherine, Jade, Alex, Sophie, Greg, Jake, Ellie, Isaac, Robin, Tony, Annie, Lisa, Margaret, Oliver, Clark, Kara, Phoebe, Emma, Ruby, Bart, Alfie, Beth, Julian, Nancy, Penny, Margaret, Tessa, Erica, Theresa, George, Kevin, Sebastian, Felix, Martin, Michael, Erin, Caleb, Helen, Charlotte, Kyle, Martha, Diana, Elsa, Gary, Zoe, Connor, Colin, Daisy, Eric, Maya, Adam, Andy, Magnus, Alma, Nora, Alice, Spike, Leon, Marcel, Kim, Juno, Sue, Chris, Otto, Donald, Daphne, Kate, Todd, Ned, Ken, Angel, Judy, Jo, Hazel, Naomi, Diego, Miranda, Joel, Lila, Duncan, Dexter, Meredith, Pearl, Lily, Malcolm, Napolean, Joan, Nico, Jamie, Nadia, Velma, Jill, Kiera, Rory, Evan, Tam, Klaus, Neil, Derek, Michelle, Luna, Laila, Cordelia, Zack, Imogen, Felicity, Cindy, Alicia, Kelly, Alan, April, Astrid, Delilah, Jodie, Claudia, Juliet, Karen, Jonas, Milo, Celia, Hannah, Joy, Ethan, Katya, Aria, Atticus, Ian, Cynthia, Faye, Frank, Boo, River, Corey, Gabrielle, Minerva, Ebony, Zia, Beverly, Rudy, Georgina
Names I have an incomplete list for (welcome to send character suggestions)
Richter, Sean, Troy, Cain, Agatha, Warren, Percy, Reggie, Mina, Ryan, Felicia, Dylan, Josh, Shirley, Debbie, Jared, June, Mabel, Ray, Chad, Moe, Hugh, Fearne, Christine, Joe, August, May, Scarlet, Alana, Leela, Manny, Dean, Francis, Mason, Oscar, Quinn, Guy, Ulrich, Wally, Yasmin, Tobias, Woody, Sabrina, Quentin, Margot, Alina, Matilda, Freya, Kendra, Angus, Ophelia, Leisel, Zelda, Adora, Piper, Scarlet, Sheila, Valentine, Laurie, Laurel, Fitz, Violet, Gabriel, Ford, Artemis, Owen, Bianca, Newton, Summer, Darcy, Noah, Taylor, Miriam, Hugh, Aurora, Hank, Henry, Dawn, Delia, Cosmo, Wanda, Zeke, Cecil, Aiden, Calvin, Ayesha, Beatrice, Parker, Chase, Hunter, Tina, Misty, Amaya, Amara, Harvey, Talia, Tatiana, Tanya, Orion, Eugene, Kit, Bo, Duke, Blue, Cameron, Rudolf, Mara, Marianne, Carl
Feel free to send more suggestions
*subject to change, you can still submit a character if there is no strikethrough if you think theres a character that its an absolute crime i dont add. Please don't suggest anything for the names with a strikethrough as they are polls that are already in my queue waiting to be published.
Past Polls
Round 1: Peter : WINNER: Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
Round 2: Elizabeth : WINNER: Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Round 3: Jason : WINNER: Jason Mendoza (The Good Place)
Round 4: Eve : WINNER: EVE (WALL-E)
Round 5: Fred : WINNER: Fred Jones (Scooby-Doo)
Round 6: Rachel : WINNER: Rachel (Animorphs)
Round 7: Arthur : WINNER: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Round 8: Amy : WINNER: Amy Pond (Doctor Who)
Round 9: Tom : WINNER: Tom (Tom and Jerry)
Round 10: Claire : WINNER: Clare Devlin (Derry Girls)
Round 11: James : WINNER: James (Pokemon)
Round 12: Max : WINNER: Max (Black Sails)
Round 13: Simon : WINNER: Simon Belmont (Castlevania)
Round 14: Jane : WINNER: Jane Crocker (Homestuck)
Round 15: Victor : WINNER: Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice)
Round 16: Mary : WINNER: Mary Poppins (Mary Poppins)
Round 17: Will : WINNER: Will Graham (Hannibal)
Round 18: Laura : WINNER: Laura Palmer (Twin Peaks)
Round 19: Ben : WINNER: Ben "Obi-Wan" Kenobi (Star Wars)
Round 20: Chloe : WINNER: Chloe Price (Life Is Strange)
Round 21: John : WINNER: Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives)
Round 22: Lydia : WINNER: Lydia Deetz (Beetlejuice)
Round 23: Mark : WINNER: Marc Spector (Moon Knight)
Round 24: Jess : WINNER: Jesse Pinkman (Breaking Bad)
Round 25: Theo : WINNER: Theobald Gumbar (Dimension 20: A Crown Of Candy)
Round 26: Sarah: WINNER: Sarah Jane Smith (Doctor Who)
Round 27: Richard : WINNER: Richard Gansey III (The Raven Cycle)
Round 28: Cass : WINNER: Cassandra Cain (Batman)
Round 29: Edward : WINNER: Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Round 30: Carm : WINNER: Carmen Sandiego (Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?)
Round 31: Hal : WINNER: HAL9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey)
Round 32: Sid : WINNER: Sydney Adamu (The Bear)
Round 33: Jack : WINNER: Captain Jack Harkness (Doctor Who)
Round 34: Stephanie : WINNER: Stephanie Brown (Batman)
Round 35: Ash : WINNER: Ash Ketchum (Pokemon)
Round 36: Veronica : WINNER: Veronica Sawyer (Heathers)
Round 37: Kurt : WINNER: Kurt Wagner aka Nightcrawler (X-Men)
Round 38: Eleanor : WINNER: Eleanor Shellstrop (The Good Place)
Round 39: Nathan : WINNER: Nathan Young (Misfits)
Round 40: Fiona : WINNER: Princess Fiona (Shrek)
Round 41: Gale : WINNER: Gayle Waters-Waters (Chris Fleming)
Round 42: Barbara : WINNER: Barbara Millicent Roberts aka Barbie (Barbie)
Round 43: Sam : WINNER: Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings)
Round 44: Grace : WINNER: Grace Chastity (Nerdy Prudes Must Die)
Round 45: Barry : WINNER: Barry Bluejeans (The Adventure Zone)
Round 46: Raven : WINNER: Raven (Teen Titans)
Round 47: Dan : WINNER: Danny Fenton (Danny Phantom)
Round 48: Mia : WINNER: Mia Fey (Ace Attorney)
Round 49: Matt : WINNER: Matt Murdock (Daredevil)
Round 50: Rose : WINNER: Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)
Round 51: Robert : WINNER: Robbie Rotten (LazyTown)
Round 52: Lola : WINNER: Lola Bunny (Space Jam)
Round 53: Scott : WINNER: Scott Summers aka Cyclops (X-Men)
Round 54: Olivia : WINNER: Olivia Octavious (Spiderverse)
Round 55: Finn : WINNER: Finn the Human (Adventure Time)
Round 56: Emily : WINNER: Emily Charlton (The Devil Wears Prada)
Round 57: Elliot : WINNER: Eliot Spencer (Leverage)
Round 58: Sonia : WINNER: Sonia (Pokemon)
Round 59: Gideon : WINNER: Gideon Nav (The Locked Tomb)
Round 60: Jen : WINNER: Jennifer Check (Jennifer's Body)
Round 61: Miles : WINNER: Miles Morales (Spider-Man)
Round 62: Lana : WINNER: Lana Skye (Ace Attorney)
Round 63: Spencer : WINNER: Spencer Shay (iCarly)
Round 64: Tracy : WINNER: Tracy Turnbald (Hairspray!)
Round 65: Luke : WINNER: Luke Skywalker (Star Wars)
Round 66: Natalie : WINNER: Natalie Scatorccio (Yellowjackets)
Round 67: Harry : WINNER: Harry Du Bois (Disco Elysium)
Round 68: Lucy : WINNER: Lucy van Pelt (Peanuts)
Round 69: Damian : WINNER: Damian Wayne (Batman)
Round 70: Tabitha : WINNER: Tabitha Casper (Dan and Phil Games: Sims 4)
Round 71: Nick : WINNER: Nicholas D. Wolfwood (Trigun)
Round 72: Gwen : WINNER: Guinevere (Merlin)
Round 73: Paul : WINNER: Paulette Bonafonte (Legally Blonde)
Round 74: Abigail : WINNER: Abigail Hobbs (Hannibal)
Round 75: Jordan : WINNER: Jordan Baker (The Great Gatsby)
Round 76: Donna : WINNER: Donna Noble (Doctor Who)
Round 77: Morgan : WINNER: Morgana (Merlin)
Round 78: Allison : WINNER: Alison Cooper (BBC Ghosts)
Round 79: Patrick : WINNER: Patrick Star (Spongebob Squarepants)
Round 80: Linda : WINNER: Linda Belcher (Bob's Burgers)
Round 81: Philip : WINNER: Philip J. Fry (Futurama)
Round 82: Clarisse : WINNER: Clarisse La Rue (Percy Jackson)
Round 83: Jeff
Round 84: Maria
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