#alex stan

[chris-hartley]

My birthday present from @blueromantics was a picture of my “white boy of the year”, Kyle Gallner and I’m obsessed with it!!!

[mozart-1053]

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS-SEASON 3, EPISODE 1: LAZY HAZY CRAZY DAYS (PART 2)

Anyone seen Jess lately? Eh, we already know what (who) he's been into this summer. But yeah that was definitely Jess. Winter, spring, summer, fall. even with a broken foot, Taylor Doose does not cease, yield, desist, nor take a break from his quest to line his pockets with the money of the citizens of Stars Hollow, under the guise of some sort of charity event. Fun! Let me guess, the Bridge again?

Sounds like a good excuse for Jess Mariano to wear short sleeves and engage in some tonsil hockey underneath a tree.

Mmm, Window Doritos. Luke and Lorelai still haven't made up. She's been avoiding him and the diner the entire freaking summer? There's no way. Without Luke providing her daily supply of supermarket Folger's, she would wither away and die.

Scenes that take place outside of The Hollow are usually the most fun but I predict this is going to be lame. They got some early 2000's politicans to make cameos in this one, people I'm sure the 16 year olds watching this show when it aired (or ever) cared about.

Who's this putz? *squints at nametag* Nice to meet you...James. He looks like a nice normal generically handsome dude, maybe for once Rory could stand to go on a date with a handsome dullard who won't kick up any leaves, kinda like that time Richard and Emily tried to hook Lorelai up with this guy's father.

Paris Geller for President, Rory Gilmore as her first lady.

You don't have a prayer with either of them Jamesy. Ohhhhh. James is JAMIE. Of course. I remember this generically cute, mass-manufactured piece of untoasted WonderBread now. The one who...takes Paris' virginity. Welp I guess I have to take back the whole "You don't have a prayer" thing then.

Paris agrees to dinner plans with UTWB (Untoasted White Bread), not realizing she agreed to a date, and Rory has to tell her what happened, and when Rory is more knowledgable about dating and relationships than you are, you know you have work to do. So what we have here is a fine blend: one part Paris being unable to relate to people, one part confusion about her sexuality, a subject that this show will refuse to ever touch on, and one part realizing she agreed to a date with a boy who is a bottle of human Nyquil, throw this all in a blender and you've got a recipe for a Paris Geller nuclear anxiety attack.

Kirk our neurodivergent king.

You do not, don't lie to him like that. Lorelai did invent a vanishing cream though. She slathers it on every time she leaves work in the middle of the day. Lorelai: Don't cows eat hay? Kirk: Yes, but "Grass There" is a bad name. LOL, that got a good laugh out of me. We love you Kirk. Keep being you. Lorelai and Emily have a pointless debate on the phone about what date Rory was supposed to be arriving home, Lorelai says she's coming home on Saturday whereas Emily insists she was misled to believe she would be home in time for FND tomorrow. Jesus Christ, Emily. Can't you let that poor girl decompress and have some time to herself after being away from home all summer? Can you let her skip one FND? Rotten. Emily wants to know where Crusty is and Lorelai says Satan is "Away on business". "Away on Business"=In the firey shrieking depths of hell (Boston?) Emily wants her beloved Crusty to join FND tomorrow. I swear to god if I have to fast forward past yet another Crusty FND I'm gonna scream.

No no no no. NO. Where is Alex? Bring me Alex! #SaltyIsAnAlexStan #PossiblyTheOnlyAlexStan

JarPad has a real talent for making every thing Dean says sound so ominous and serial-killer like. Rory: That gives me three hours to look presentable. Should I go blond?

He should want her to go blond because it'll be easier to conceal her identity when he kidnaps her and takes her on the run. Not only does Emily want to wrench Rory off her flight in mid air to force her into FND but she's agreed to meet Dean immediately after his plane touches down only 3 hours after her own?! Not only that, it's September 3rd, which means a new school year is starting next week, she's trying to talk Paris down from a nuclear anxiety attack and get her ready for her first date, I'd say that I don't know how Rory is acting so calm under all this pressure but we know she's bottling it up inside like a powder keg ready to explode and it's just a matter of time. Is this his home or a hotel room? It looks like a serial kiler's motel room on the side of abandoned highway. That chair is made of human skin. That's totally a serial killer's old tv, one where he holes up watching America's Most Wanted and grainy news reports about his own escape from justice. "My plane is arrving at 6" he says, unaware that the police tapped his phone lines. That shirt looks like something he took off of one of his victim's or bought from a dying K-Mart in some small town, where there's a cashier named Phyllis who's been working there for 30 years, he paid cash, tried to avoid looking directly into the store's security cameras, Phyllis just smacks her gum as she rings up his serial killer polo shirt, gallon of bleach, tarps and rubber gloves. To be fair, Jess threatens to murder Dean and dump his body in a ditch not long after he's already murdered Shane and fed her to the swans in this season. All the more reason Dean and Jess should call a truce, realize they have more in common than they think, and leave Rory alone.

Whew. There's so much to unpack in just these two sentences. Just like all the dead bodies Dean Forester has to unpack from his trunk.

That's what his victims say before he leads them to their demise. Rory has to hang up on Dean Wayne Gacy because Paris is melting down as her date with Nyquil approaches. Dean has to hang up because the SWAT team is about to bust down his door.

Rory's reaction to Dean saying "I Love You". She doesn't say it back. Stay tuned for part 3.

[dooffirmations]

H E L L O ????

[paintedcrows]

Whenever Bill sees KingOfNJ's fics through Stan's eyes he just thinks they have the same taste in fanfiction (disgusting. unthinkable) continued

[leeseechkeens]

I recently found out they played Stan dating simulator

[hkthatgffan]

ALEX PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE HANDLE THIS MUCH BABY BILL CONTENT IN ONE YEAR! 😭🥺

"These horrible wretched babies birthed from the pen of Emmy Cicierega."

[vanity-breaking]

you always see that gif or a screenshot of this scene but you need to hear the line delivery. it's so funny to me

[atalana]

but seriously i do find it so funny that ford was like OH GOD MY PRECIOUS REPUTATION after bill possessed him around other people for all of one night

and then he gets back to this dimension after thirty years and this is now the photo the press associates with his name

[t-dubber]

We’re back in the goddamned Mystery Shack!

Okay but seriously-- I’ve always thought that Stan would, at some point, teach Mabel how to box. That girl has had a mean left hook from EPISODE ONE. If Dipper and Ford get nerdtime, these two get boxing. 😤👏

[maniaeofmadness]

I am a firm believer that Stan and Mabel are not the "dumber" twins. They just aren't as interesting in 'nerd' stuff like Ford and Dipper are.

Stan was able to rebuild like 90% of the portal with only the 1 of the journals, most likely having to teach himself advanced mathematics and scientific theories to even understand what the thing is. It barely took him a few weeks to get the portal up and running after getting the other two journals. Not to mention how he was able to create a business and keep people entertained at his day job. The man is smart.

Mabel is able to create sweaters at the drop of a hat. If you don't know anything about knitting, it takes a lot of math and planning to be able to make a sweater, and Mabel is constantly making them for everyone around her. She made a full 2 act puppet shows with musical numbers and sets and well made puppets in like a week. She may not be interested in the 'nerd' stuff like Dipper, but she's creative and thinks in innovative ways.

Both of them are amazingly charismatic. They can make friends and bond with those around them easily, whether it be for business purposes like Stan or simply childlike positivity like Mabel.

They aren't dumb.

[murmaiderii]

PANEL HIGHLIGHTS

If Dipper were the one in a bubble instead of Mabel, his ideal world would be him and Ford starring in an x-files type show (with Dipper being the smarter one lmao). Mabel would have rescued Dipper just like he did her

Bill watches The Duchess Approves

He can’t tell us specifically if Dip and Mabe’s parents are divorced but he was talking about how his own parents are and he and Ariel stayed with their great aunt while the divorce was happening soooo

All of this part about Stan’s dreams https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFxdxmDK/

Alex just giving a kid a free copy of TBOB just because

Alex wearing this fucking thing

[astronomic-explorer]

the reason no one noticed dipper was possessed in the puppet episode was because the only physical thing that changed were his eyes and the entire pines family are autistic and dont like eye contact

[lucigooseart]

stanley pines

grunkle gilf brain rot is going crazy rn guys. pls enjoy

[secretinasecret]

Here are some the canon information we now know after the Book of Bill and the strange website Soos FINALLY FIXED:

Saclene and Euclid are Bill’s parents.

Stanford’s middle name is Filbrick.

After spending only one day in Gravity Falls, Dipper and Mabel debated escaping through the window and calling the FBL on Stan. Mabel shook an 8-Ball, and they decided to stay. Stan overheard everything, and he considers it one of his lowest moments in life.

There is a high possibility that Dipper and Mabel’s parents got a divorce while they were in Gravity Falls, and that is why they wanted to send them away in the first place.

Bill feels remorse for destroying his dimension and wears his father’s hat, or a similar one.

Dipper’s legal name is Mason.

Back at home, Dipper once overheard his parents argue, and it gave him a nightmare.

Bill tried to make a deal with Pacifica before Blendin.

Eda Clawthrone was only one of Stan’s ex-wives.

Stan once considered to blame every crime he ever committed on Soos, and it is his darkest thought.

Bill cannot get over the fact that Stan was the one who threw in the final punch and saved Gravity Falls. He never will.

Soos hopes to have children with Melody, very soon.

Gideon still has feelings for Mabel.

Dipper and Mabel only survive in one timeline out of infinite. (The wildest one)

Mabel once tried to send her mother a videotape of her sticking gummy worms up her nose.

Stan wears a male girdle.

Dipper and Mable were born in 1999, which would make them 25 years old today.

[nerdycartoongal]

Today is the only day you can repost this

On this day exactly 12 years ago, Gravity Falls premiered on television.

Happy 12th anniversary to one of the greatest cartoons of all time! ����🥳❤️