#alex babbles

[sparks-to-flames]

I'm punching the air rn. My friends gave me the WORST best b-day present.

They got me a cameo from one my f/o's va. Ngl, the weeks leading up to by b-day and even this week has been rough for me. I've been struggling with the concept of getting older and not accomplishing all the things I want to do with my life. And other things as well but that was the major one. And because of it, I cried about it two nights ago and even thought about going back into my bad coping mechanisms.

But having my friends cheer me up, without knowing about my feelings about growing older, really made my week.

[blastlight]

(source)

This is my favorite outcome if true. GET GATSBY'D LOSERS

(Bipper Jason Ritter's tweets are unauthenticated, but 100% also intended to screw with our heads. I support this.)

[honey-crypt]

★ the vanilla bachelors & bachelorettes as monsters ★

★ abigail - ghoul

honorable mention: chimera

★ alex - minotaur

honorable mention: werewolf

★ elliott - merman

honorable mention: vampire

★ emily - nymph

honorable mention: harpy

★ haley - siren

honorable mention: banshee

★ harvey - satyr

honorable mention: gnome

★ leah - elf

honorable mention: fairy

★ maru - frankenstein’s monster

honorable mention: alien

★ sam - hippogriff

honorable mention: mummy

★ sebastian - demon

honorable mention: hellhound

★ shane - yeti

honorable mention: bigfoot

★ penny - selkie

honorable mention: gorgon

[neetily]

ugh piss kink going wild so have some thoughts about it with an assortment of people

Sam who never listens when you tell him you need to go to the bathroom when you’re in the middle of sex, who would rather you pee on him than make him leave your warmth, he already puts a towel down what’s the harm?

Whitney who presses on your bladder, degrades you when you squirm and whine to get him to stop but he doesn’t, not until he’s thoroughly entertained

Alex (SDV) who tries, really he does!, to do it properly. Get you comfy with the idea of it but ends up fucking you in the shower and not pulling out until he pissed inside and wants to watch it pour out of you. gross isn’t it? he doesn’t really care though, he’ll clean you up later

PISS KINK. where my pissers at 🗣️!!!!!!

thank u for sending this in. sorry it took me a bit to get to it, i was dying <3

MDNI. piss warning ofc !!!

sammy the lover boy... he just doesn't care, does he? or rather, he cares about every part of you way too much!!! it's okay, if y'gotta piss, then piss he'd reassure you, heart skipping a beat at the thought of being covered in your scent. he doesn't even slow down to allow you breathing room as you try to hold it in in spite of his words, only in turn making him feel even better as your muscles clench and contract around his fat cock with swiftly dwindling promise. ughhh the way he'd pound into you harder too, kissing your bright red with embarrassment cheeks all sloppily, huffing against your ears that it's okay, s'fuckin' hot in between moans. and he means it!!! he gets off on fucking you so good that you end up pissing yourself, getting him all messy with pee, just so in love with every part of you. even your piss. cause at the end of the day, it's just another liquid to him. no different from when he eats you out all night long and swallows your slick down his parched throat. maybe that's something he can convince you to do next time, right?

whitney is just so cruel with it. a complete sadist, force feeding you copious amounts of water on a hot summers day in school just knowing that you'll try to excuse yourself to the bathroom soon enough— but he doesn't let you go. grabs your wrist to tug you towards him instead of the door and makes you sit on his lap, squirmy little princess rubbing his clothed cock so well as you struggle to keep your composure in front of his taunts and teases. bet y'need to go so bad, huh? god, imagine how embarrassing it'd be if ya pissed yourself in front of so many people, right? poking and prodding at your bladder knowingly as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, pressing your lower half closer to his front, the feeling of your thighs squeezing around his lap is enough to have him gasping for air. make a mess and you're fuckin' in for it, slut. he'd warn you, but he secretly hopes that you do piss yourself— not just for his own selfish gratification, but so that he can punish you with his own stream of waste in the boys bathroom, buried balls deep in your soaking piss cunt to fill her up again.

alex just wants to try it out!! that's all. he swears. the gnawing thought of coating you in yellow, of warming you up with his stink, it won't leave him alone !! god, the thought of marking you all up in his scent especially? drives him crazy !!! and it's not that he's trying to be sneaky about it, no, never !! he's just a lil shy... a scared boy, worried about what your reaction might be to his perversion... but in the shower, you'd surely not be able to tell the difference, right? he'd get what he wants, and you'd be none the wiser. he just wants to try it out. pressing you against the shower glass, tits squished against the soapy surface as he spreads your ass cheeks open for his viewing pleasure. it's building quickly, he can feel the tight pressure in his abdomen, heavy balls slapping against you with loud smacks as he repeatedly buries himself to the hilt over and over again. and yet still he holds back, refuses to cum first— not until he's released his piss inside of you. and he's got you spread to watch it happen, the shower water trickling down his backside as he pulls out enough to leave just the tip inside of you, offering you small rocking fucks so that you don't think anything is amiss, but he can see it shoot out of him, eyes glued to where his piss gushes out of your overstuffed cunt and down his length, his balls, fuck, how it drips down your thighs? he might have just wanted to try it out, but he makes a mental note to try it again every shower time in future too.

[reyzorblade-png]

BRO?? SCREAMED OMFG THEY LOOK SO GOOD

p.s. logan don't ever cut your hair pretty please

[lolitslloyd]

do you think Alex Hirsch sees the billford edits and laughs

[possum-quesadilla]

FUCK

[prettiest-at-the-party]

Hiiiii🩷

#1 Blonde man lover🫶🏻

Real life biblically accurate angel🎀

I use she/her pronouns🩷

I’ve lurked on tumblr for years but never really made a proper account🫶🏻

I’d really appreciate if you’d only interact with me if your 18+ 🩷

I’m currently obsessing over TCC, zero day, Nico Rosberg, George Russell and Paul Aron but I’m genuinely pretty much a fan of everything and down to talk about whatever🫶🏻

I’m from the UK🎀

[gregorygerwitz]

am I the only one who thinks Buck and Tommy didn't immediately go off and have sex after the episode?

I don't even think they went home together

they kissed again before they went their separate ways, of course, but I don't think Buck would go off and get laid right after coming out to his entire family

in my head, Tommy said his congratulations, had cake, kissed Buck goodbye (privately, to not take attention away from the happy couple) and got an Uber back to harbor (because he's not going to pull Buck away from celebrating with his sister just because Tommy had a long shift and he wants to get his car and go home and shower and sleep)

idk. I'm seeing a lot of posts about them going off and fucking immediately (and I'm reading the fics, I'm having a great time, it's not about the fic and all that), and I'm wondering if my thoughts are logical at all or if I'm just ace and my brain doesn't automatically jump to sex as the defining moment in making a relationship more official or whatever

[viciousvales]

mme when wake up n countdown still go uppy

[bonefall]

Voted for Bumble bc of course but also if you think Alex would not pspsps Bumble you are wrong. If they could communicate they would go to therapy together /s

If then could communicate they would go to therapy together

/GEN

Kyle/Green Lantern resurrects her but then he becomes convinced that she's not the same person she was before the incident, OR SOMETHING SOMETHING Black Lanterns aren't ACTUALLY bad they're just misunderstood Grim Reaper types, in either case Alex ends up breaking it off with Kyle because they've become very different people.

And then Bumble's there

And then they go to therapy or Alex adopts Bumble, and then uhhh Bumble's like one of the superpets. Like Krypto the Superdog. Free premise go forth and play with it if ur a DC fan

[honey-crypt]

Stardew bachelors with girl farmer that's like 4'11 in height?

Also sorry in advance , because I'm probably gonna ask you a lot of stuff since I like your blog too much

a/n: lmao feel free to bombard me with requests, i appreciate it! hope this isn't too bad, i'm kinda tall (5'7" barefoot and 5'9" in my usual shoes) sooooo yeah!!

★ the stardew valley bachelors with a short (4’11”) farmer ★

alex

★ incorporates you into his workouts whenever you’re available

★ couldn’t help but laugh his ass off when he saw you and evelyn next to one another for the first time and evelyn had a solid two inches on you

★ likes to pick you up at the most random times

elliott

★ calls you a variety of pet names like “bunny”, “little one”, and “dandelion”

★ likes when you sit on his lap while he writes, it lets him give you a smooch on the top of your head while he works

★ fanonly the second tallest bachelor at 6’2”, he squats down for kisses and hugs

harvey

★ fanonly the tallest bachelor at 6’5” so to anyone outside of pelican town, you two doing anything romantic together looks unfortunately a bit sus

★ either physically picks you up to smooch or gets on his knees to smooch

★ loses track of you very easily, he once had to get morris on the speaker to call you over at joja mart because of this

sam

★ bought you a step chair as a gag gift for your birthday but it was actually a practical gift… for you to bust his kneecaps with

★ helps you get things off high selves when you grocery shop at joja mart and he’s working at the time

★ kinda treats you like vincent in the sense that he tries to keep an eye on you so you don’t get stuck somewhere (it has happened to vincent too many times)

sebastian

★ thought you were a middle schooler the first time he met you and you never let him live that down

★ the two of you can surprisingly swap clothes, though yours are a bit ill fitting on sebastian (like how your shirts become somewhat cropped when he wears them)

★ gets your help to get under the hood of his motorcycle when he accidentally drops something and doesn’t have time to get his rolling board

shane

★ you make him feel very tall and he loves that feeling

★ goes a bit over the top with it, such as using you as an arm raise or calling you “strawberry shortcake”

★ nonetheless, he knows that, despite your height, you can kick his ass without getting a hair out of place

[almaadst]

5 more followers and I will have a round number of 2,000! Not that it means anything - focusing on numbers can be toxic for artists, for sure, but I haven't done an art raffle for some time and maybe it will be a great occasion to do so? 🤭

[birdo-is-here]

I love artists whose songs are utterly incomprehensible without subtitles

[i-eat-worlds]

Over.

I wrote this instead of doing my actual work I hope you enjoy

cw: broken bones, blood, suffering and misery, little bit of medical whump

The button was only fifteen feet away.

It wasn’t that far. Fifteen feet. Five yards. It was the distance across a room. Quickly, easily walkable.

But Alex couldn’t walk. Not with the blood pooling underneath her shin, and certainly not with the bone protruding from her skin.

Behind her, she could hear the battle raging. There were wild blasts of energy and shouting and metal on metal. No one else had made it this far. It had to be her.

The bruised skin on her shoulder screamed as she reached out her arm and planted it on the floor. She forced herself to keep breathing as she pulled herself forward, inching closer to her goal.

All she wanted to do was stop. To stop ghting the darkness that kept narrowing her vision and let herself be still. She wanted, more than anything, to be done. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t and she hated it and there was nothing she could do about it.

Nothing but hit that fucking button.

She could feel her blood slicking the floor beneath her, making it easier for her to drag. herself along. Every time she moved, bright stars danced across her vision. Her ribs were on fire, and having them pressed against the ground wasn’t helping.

Why couldn’t it be over yet?

Ignoring the blood running down her face, she continued on. She could taste it in her mouth and feel it running down the back of her throat. Every couple seconds, she had to stop and spit it out.

When the tears started to prick at her eyes, she didn’t even try to stop them. It wasn't like there was anyone around to see, and she could afford to waste the energy it took to hold them back.

The control panel was less then two feet away now, a big red button tantalizing close.

It was there when she realized that she might not even be able to reach it. Not from the floor.

She had to try.

After a long, deep breath, she pushed herself to kneeling, keeping her injured leg as straight and as still as she could. The position was shaky and unstable, but it would do.

Carefully, she rose up, bracing one arm against the wall and reaching for the button with the other. Standing had caused the pain to foare and vision to narrow.

As she dumbly slapped her hand against the control panel, hoping she’d hit it, hit something useful, his the darkness finally closed in.

Her body went slack, and she collapsed onto the floor in a bruised, bloodied, broken heap.

***

Someone was touching her.

Everything else was hazy and strange, but that part was obvious.

Why was someone touching her?

She was supposed to be alone.

“You with me, Alex?”

Oh. Yeah.

Slowly she pulled her eyes open, groaning.

Joseph’s face was looming over her.

“Good, good.”

She took a moment to take stock of her situation. From the ceiling tiles, she could tell that she was still in whoever-they-were-fighting’s base. Joseph was here, as well as the rest of the team, so she must’ve won.

She’d hit the shut off switch in time.

Nobody had died.

The darkness tempted her again. It was over. She didn’t have to be here anymore.

“Woah, stay with me, yeah?”

Joseph almost sounded scarred. It was unnerving. She’d have to stay, then.

A chill ran through her, jarring her wounds.

“ ‘m cold.”

“Workin’ on that, kid.”

There was the sound of plastic wrap being torn open, and a shiny space blanket covered her body.

“Better?”

“Hurts.”

“You’re in luck ‘cause that’s next on the list.”

His hands were busy, but she couldn’t quite see what they were doing. He looked nervous again.

“ ‘m sorry.”

She could feel him fiddling with the IV in her arm.

“It’s okay. You’re doing great.”

He smiled at her. It was almost believable.

A wave of exhaustion washed over her.

“Didn’t mean t get ‘urt.”

Joseph scooted down towards her leg.

“I know, kid. I’m not angry, Alex. I promise.”

He paused, a focused look crossing his face.

“I need to splint your leg. Fair warning, it’s gonna suck.”

She braced herself for the coming onslaught.

There was nothing she could do to stop the scream breaking free from her lips.

The darkness beckoned again, and she didn’t fight it.

It hurt. Everything hurt. Joseph and his “stay awake for me” could go to hell.

***

When Alex woke again, it was obviously in a hospital.

The scratchy sheets, antiseptic smell, bright lights and incessant beeping all tell a pretty simple story.

A hospital. Duh.

She let herself slump back onto the mattress of questionable quality.

It was over.

Finally.

Taglist: @pigeonwhumps @rainydaywhump @painful-pooch

[squarebracketsmileyface]

okay hear me out, hold me like a grudge by fallout boy is also SIL jaylex

"Part-time soulmate, full-time problem"

You're so goddamn right. That line right there describes Jay and Alex to a tee, that's literally them.

wait ooo tim and Jay would be that other fob song that's like "Ex-friends, Better off as lovers" (or at least that's how Jay'd see it, cos Jay would also think he and Alex were "Part-time soulmate, full-time problem") Bang the doldrums, thats what "ex-friends, better off as lovers" is from

god Jay and Alex as "part time soulmate, full-time problem" tho, that's so fkdsajf cos like, they're so nearly soulmates. They're so nearly soulmates. They could have been soulmates but there was too much else going on, too many awful things going on around them, whether that's the Operator or Alex's upbringing with the internalised homophobia stuff.

God i need to write that oneshot about jaylex's first time together. I need to fully show just how almost soulmates they were.