#akin//afar
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sashartiist · 22 days ago
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Me and @chiliconcomics are working on a project together, and here are some pieces I’ve made for it! I’ll share more about the project itself if anyone is curious, but it will have to wait until after our deadline. The project is for our bachelor, the so-called graduation project, the final BIG exam we do before going off to do internships. January 24th is nearing so fast!
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limonjarritos · 8 months ago
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Tags by: @nobraincellz
Hey Crow, this is devastating.
Thinking about Niko's mother and how she lost her husband and her daughter is off in a different country. How she sent letters to her, but never got a reply but could only hope she was doing okay. Only to suddenly hear that she died.
I'm not even sure she's gotten Niko's reply letter yet?
Which is worse?: getting the letter and being filled with relief and then getting the news, or finding out your daughter is dead and then getting her letter?
Her last words.
I wonder if she was informed of how horrific the death was? I mean the autopsy will no doubt be available.
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hypnagogics · 6 months ago
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pathetic/nerdy/loser/perverted ellie ramble AJAKSOJSOJS. LOTS OF SMUT!! quick and really crass, just needed to get this outta my system LMFAO. want some more? click here for the continuation!!
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she'd be pining for you so hard, just consumed entirely by the limerence, so impossibly down bad for everything about you, it ate her up inside. she needed you in every way possible, needed to smell you, to taste you, to feel you clench around her fingers and tongue, she wanted you to crush her head —glasses and all—with your thighs, she needed it all.
and yeah, she did feel creepy about it—staring at your tits from afar, maybe sitting in the park someday after her class, thank god for transitional lenses. she felt her face go tomato-red from the shame, what in the world was she doing, ogling her sort of-friend like that, but fuck did it fuel her fantasies.
in the dark of the night, you were the only thing occupying her poor, horny mind, as she stuffed two, no, three digits in her soaking pussy, using every morsel of her imagination to materialize the sight of you being the one to make her see stars. she'd imagine covering you in marks and hickeys, watching your wrist flex while you were knuckle deep inside of her.
her eyes brimming with tears, knuckles dripping in pearly cum forming a fucking puddle beneath her, pounding in and out of her quivering walls over and over and over again until she felt light-headed, she found it the only way to cope.
“ugh- fuck baby, yeah that's it..mmf." whines and just the utmost pathetic pleas tumbled from her swollen, rosy lips, her clit near aching from the abuse she thrusted on it nightly. chanting your name in the night akin to a prayer— ironic. this was anything but holy—imagining the way your tits would bounce, the way you'd cry her name out and drench her in your fluids, she'd even imagine herself on her knees, being the one staring up at you between your legs as you run your nails through her hair, hold her chin.
“please, wanna cum again, c'mon baby. fuck, fuck, fuck- yeah, hnn-!!” tears fully streaming down her freckled cheeks at this point, her whole body tensing as she came for what seemed like the thousandth time this night, she continued until it was causing her a great deal of pain. until she was completely wrung dry. “...what am i doing. fuckin’ hell.”
breathing heavily, the shame really sets in now. what was she doing? rolling over in her damp bed, she'd groan while the embarrassment made her cheeks burn hotter than the deepest pits of hell—where she's convinced she's gonna enjoy the hospitality of if she keeps this up—she'd bury her face in her pillow and pass out into a slumber, only until the cycle repeats itself the next night.
but little did she know, her experience was being mirrored, almost with creepy accuracy, wherever you were. pining just as hard for the lanky loser you were mere acquaintances with. teasing her on purpose, just to watch the dark flush spread across her features, to watch her shift uncomfortably and avoid your taunting stare with everything she's got, squeeze her thighs together to soothe the ache you knew she was going to take care of later as soon as you part ways. it drove you nuts too. if only she knew. if only!
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WHY DID THIS EAT LMAOOO but oop went a little overboard my bad um ok enjoy bye can u tell im in a mood lately pls give me notes even tho its 2am ik everyones dead but oh well luv u
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heirofnight · 4 months ago
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meddling
azriel x reader drabble
word count: 2k - longest drabble ever, i'm so sorry
summary: reader just escaped a horrific past that has left her closed off and in need of isolation. she takes up residence at the house of wind, finding solace in the private library. she's content to keep to herself, but a meddling house and a stray little shadow have other plans.
a/n: i wrote this very quickly, this is more like a stream of consciousness than a well-planned piece of writing lol. also my first time posting so pls be kind 😭 i just felt like writing and then ... this happened. ok enjoy!
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azriel was a silent, watchful protector of yours when you initially arrived at the night court. studying you, observing you from afar. you spend most of your time on the third level of the house of wind - shy and in need of isolation. your past was something you were desperate to forget. but, even after your relocation to velaris, your mind was murky. you'd tried sorting through thoughts and emotions that you'd pushed deep down in order to survive, but it all felt akin to wading through waist-deep mud in heavy, laced-up boots. you'd found solace in the private library on the third floor, only doors down from your own chambers. many mornings you awoke, dressed, and shuffled to the warm library that was lit with beams of light from dawn's glow. you'd curl into your favorite chair that overlooked velaris and the glistening sidra far down below, taking in a centering breath. it felt like muscle memory, and the house had learned of your routine. a warm teacup waited for you, right beside your well-loved armchair. your tea was the perfect temperature: the house had learned that too. and every morning, a sly, stray tendril of shadow wove its way through the half-opened library doors. it noted your presence, your general state of well-being, before darting away playfully to relay this information back to its master. yes, rhys had asked azriel to watch over you, but even az knew that this level of attentiveness was overkill - even for him. you'd peek up at the tiny shadow each morning, expecting it now. at first, shortly after arriving at the house, you'd blink up at it - not having the mental energy to delve into its motive. now, a couple of months later, you'd felt more settled. more relaxed. and you almost considered this lone shadow to be a sweet little companion, the only being that dared approach you this frequently. you'd give it a soft grin each morning, and it would swirl happily, lazily, before departing as quickly as it came.
you were always cold. try as you might, you often only felt true, comfortable warmth when bundled beneath the layered blankets that adorned your oversized bed. you knew you shared this hallway with azriel, but rarely ever saw him. you'd hear him arrive late at night every now and then - assuming that he'd just returned from some sort of mission. what you didn't know, however, was that azriel had tried his hardest to silence the thump of his boots against the stone floor every single time he approached the arched door of your room. before, when he only shared this hallway with cassian, he'd make noise on purpose upon arriving home. his own way of letting his brother know that he was home and safe, without having to strike up any sort of conversation. he was drained after most missions, had enough of speaking. but with you occupying the room next to his own now, he wouldn't dare disturb your well-deserved, peaceful slumber. az assumed with the past you'd endured, that you'd trained yourself to sleep light. not a sound, don't fuck this up, he'd think to himself, willing his shadows to silence his footsteps entirely. even with the suppressed steps, he still tightened every single muscle. stepping so slowly, he knew he must look ridiculous. if cassian ever saw this, saw him, he would never live it down. on several occasions, your heavy wooden door had unlatched on its own during the night, leaving just enough of a space between the frame and the door that azriel could see the beige drapes that fluttered lightly against your windows through it. your sweet shadow companion would leave az's silent side to dart through the crack, and return just as quickly to whisper cold, shivering against his master's ear. to deter the draft from chilling your bones any further, azriel would reach a scarred hand out to the doorknob, closing it as silently as possible - making sure to pull until he heard the slight click of the latch.
you'd often opted to eat your meals either in the library or in your room - the house setting out a plate and silverware for you wherever you'd decided to spend your time that evening. you didn't allow yourself to wonder what the members of rhysand's family must have thought of you - a secluded, timid female that went out of her way to avoid the members of a family that had tried so hard to give her a home, a place to heal. you'd always quickly push those thoughts to the back of your mind, wanting to focus on taking care of yourself, and not others for once.
tonight, you'd chosen the library. you'd recently begun a trio of books that you'd found on one of the overflowing shelves, and you were unable to put them down once you'd started. you didn't notice the time, didn't notice the mid-afternoon sun become dusk, making the sidra glow like wildfire. you did, however, notice the grumble of your stomach once it became evening. the light of day was gone - the library now filled with the warm glow of faelights, dim candles sitting in golden candelabras, and a crackling fire within the hearth across from you. you frowned to yourself, noticing now that the house hadn't placed dinner on the mahogany coffee table that sat in front of the fire. you glanced around, the thought of verbally speaking to the house itself feeling a bit silly. you briefly told yourself that asking the house may offend it - that was even more laughable. could you offend a house? while silently mulling over these questions, that sly, sleek little tendril of shadow slowly approached you from the door of the library. it curled and twisted its way to you, stopping at your right hand to weave its way around your wrist. you looked down at it curiously - it had never touched you before, had never gotten this close. you'd deduced at this point that it was one of az's shadows - figured that it was just curious about the new presence in the house. however, it began to twirl, trying its best to get your attention. "yes?," you whispered aloud. speaking of silly interactions, you thought briefly. it weaved through your fingers, as if it were trying to hold your hand, before darting towards the door and stopping in the doorway. it was waiting for you; wanted you to follow. you cocked a curious eyebrow, slowly closing your book to set it on the table before you. gathering your linen dress in your hands, you stood, hesitantly walking towards it. "where are we going, little one?," you whispered towards it. the shadow responded immediately by darting down the hall and to the left, towards the stairs. you quickened your steps to catch up to it, only to find it waiting on the landing of the staircase for you. once you spotted it, it darted away again, down one level. peering over the railing, you noticed it twirling towards the doorway of the dining hall. family dinner was taking place, and judging by the various muffled voices and laughter you were able to hear from the staircase, everyone was present.
you tiptoed quietly down the stairs, which you realized was probably pointless. you were sure at least one of them had already picked up on your approaching scent by now. the patient shadow still waited by the door for you, swirling and twirling happily. inviting you inside to dine with its master and his family. you took a deep breath, watching as the shadow darted back to azriel's shoulder, whispering something against the shell of his ear. immediately, az's head snapped towards the doorway, meeting your own nervous gaze before you had the chance to escape without being noticed. his presence felt grounding - it had since the first time you met him. he didn't speak much, but neither did you. he felt familiar, safe, and you wondered briefly if it was due to the affection you'd grown towards his shadow that checked on you dutifully since your arrival - an act that you assumed was azriel's doing.
your hands were clasped in front of you as you nervously played with your fingers. you surveyed the room, taking everything in: the relaxed family, the spread of delicious food on the table. azriel continued to watch you with a calm, yet indiscernible expression on his face. the corner of his lips turned up just slightly, trying to convey that it was okay, you could come in. rhysand noticed you next - he followed azriel's distracted gaze to the threshold of the door, finding your small frame standing there. "well, look who it is," rhys drawled politely, loud enough to quiet the rest of the family sitting around the table. everyone's gaze found you at once, and you swallowed thickly. your eyes darted back to azriel's in a silent plead, his hazel eyes feeling like a lifeline. az nodded once, gaze soft and kind. "why don't you sit down and join us? we were hoping you would," rhys stated sincerely, gesturing a sweeping hand out over the spread of food. “help yourself, y/n. if you don’t see something you’d like, the house will prepare a more suitable meal," he smiled warmly. as if on cue, a goblet of wine, plates, and silverware appeared in front of an empty chair - courtesy of said house itself. you smiled softly, at the high lord, at the house's display of affection towards you. "thank you," you spoke warmly, perhaps the first time most of them had ever heard you speak at all.
the empty seat that was now prepared for you was right next to azriel, and you slowly made your way towards it. you felt the prying gaze of everyone at the massive dinner table, and silence still encompassed the room. your eyes flitted around nervously, and azriel tracked the movement immediately. he cleared his throat once, a silent, stoic glare tossed to his family. they got the hint, and all fell back into comfortable conversation amongst each other - attention no longer all on you. you took your place next to him, staring down at your empty plate. your hands fell into your lap, your fingers fiddling together once more. azriel watched you from his peripheral, not wanting you to feel balked at.
he leaned over finally, speaking so only you could hear, "would you like to try the potatoes?", his tone was warm and soft - comforting. you darted your gaze over to him, only meeting his eyes for a moment. he was much more intimidating up close, and you were far too shy.
"they're my personal favorite," he continued on, the corners of his mouth curled upward. you let out a small breath of a laugh, playing with a stray thread on your gown. "yes, please," you whispered to him, eyes raking over the large elaborate plates and dishes set in the middle of the table, searching for the potatoes he spoke of. before you could reach towards the gold serving spoon that sat within the buttery dish, his hand had already grasped it, bringing a heaping serving right over to your plate.
"i've got it," he spoke softly, dishing your meal. you nodded once, cheeks heating at the action. it continued this way, azriel asking if you'd like to try each entrée and side, one by one. he'd offer his own personal opinions on each one, and you'd both laughed at the way he'd described the asparagus - "absolutely abysmal," he'd report, nose scrunching dramatically.
after your plate was adequately filled, az went back to his own food. you began to poke at yours. "thank you," you whispered over to him after a moment. he glanced over at you and replied with a friendly smile, and over his shoulder appeared a small tendril of a shadow - your meddling little companion that had also apparently conspired to bring you closer to its master. it twirled your way happily, looping through your fingers and up your arm. you laughed softly, meeting azriel's sparkling hazel eyes. he smiled fondly at his shadow, "i'm sorry, sometimes it feels like they have a mind of their own," he paused for a moment, watching the smoky tendril weave through your hair. "they like you," he whispered, meeting your eyes with a grin.
"don't apologize," you replied softly. "i like them too. i think they knew i needed company," you said pointedly, not dropping his gaze for the first time all evening. he nodded in understanding, plopping another bread roll onto your plate.
"well, welcome to the family, y/n," his words were soft, but the weight you felt in your chest was overwhelming. warmth, true warmth, spread through your limbs, snuffing out the chill that had left you constantly shivering.
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powderpinkandsweeet · 9 days ago
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Thinking about comphet Abby… specifically about how shit of a lover Owen was, and how reader can show her what love feels like
C/w: 2.7k word count, nsfw, reader is referred to with feminine pronouns and descriptors, compulsory heterosexuality, Abby’s a brute for a sec but you take over, oral (A! Receiving), fingering (A! Receiving), thigh riding.
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Based solely on appearances, Abby was a top. She had a casual dominance about her that was magnetic. Upon first meeting, you were surprised at the mention of her partner, Owen. You’d chalked it up to you jumping to conclusions, making an assumption just by Abby’s appearance. The two of them had been an item for years at that point. Somehow, you weren’t surprised by the news of their breakup. Word spread quickly, especially rumors about what the end of their relationship could mean for Abby.
You were at the fringes of her social circle, admiring from afar as she laughed and smiled. You hoped to grow closer and make her smile because of you.
Abby had been around you long enough to notice your passing fancies. She heard the mutters in the locker room from girls who had briefly caught your attention. Most of the time she could tune them out, but not when they’d talked about how good you were in bed. Abby’s hands would stray from washing herself at stories of how your tongue was sinful, that your moans were like music, and that you tasted like honey wine, but all with the con that you didn’t want anything serious. They talked of a far away look in your eye when you were near the edge, as though you were seeing through them, mind elsewhere.
You’d found her sitting outside alone one night, and she ended asking how you knew you’d liked girls. Though initially caught off guard by the question, you both eased into a conversation about compulsory heterosexuality. She didn’t know you well but she didn’t feel worried of your judgment. You met her at her own level, and the questions grew more personal.
You’d grown tired of her hesitance and made the first move, rising on tip toes to press your lips softly to hers. She had been in the palm of your hand ever since. You could tell though that she had limited experience with girls. Her movements were always curious but hesitant. Owen had been her first and only for a number of years, and you could hardly call it intimacy. The max ten minute exchange was to be bent over and fucked with little prep until Owen got his nut. If she was really wound up then she could manage an orgasm, but it was truly never the goal. It’s always been a release of aggression, a way to blow off steam akin to weight lifting. Never had it been an expression of love or a show of devotion. Whether it be after a mission or an argument, it was always the same thing. A rush to the finish line where Owen would get his release.
She knew how you admired her broad, towering frame. More than once you’d made teasing comments about how you wanted to be thrown around by her. When the moment came that she was atop you, Abby found herself grasping at straws for what to do, only knowing how to pleasure a woman from how Owen had treated her.
You enjoyed the tight grips and biting kisses, but then it was going all too fast. After what felt like only a minute of kisses and heavy petting, Abby had you manhandled onto your stomach with your hips pulled high in the air. Your panties were ripped off, and you turned back to see Abby with eyebrows furrowed and a hand approaching your center. You thought you would feel her warm hands groping you, but you wince in discomfort when two dry fingers enter you.
You assumed she was just enthusiastic, skipping right to the good part. So you set your jaw and wait for the ache to subside. It doesn’t though when Abby starts pistoning her fingers into you. Her palm smacked against your pelvis as her calloused fingers rubbed your insides. Instead of pleasure, the friction felt more akin to a rugburn.
Through gasps, you attempted to call out for Abby. Singularly focused on the push and pull of her fingers, she misunderstood your calls of her name as those of bliss. She was proved otherwise when your nails bit into her wrist and your whimpers turned to sobs. Caught in your trembling grip, Abby stilled her hand. “You okay, honey?”
It took you a moment to catch your breath, still recovering from the beating your cervix had received. You strained to speak, “what’d you go so hard for?”
Abby looked puzzled, and withdrew her fingers. “Just trying to make you come,” she scratched the back of her neck with the other hand. “I didn’t think I’d be that bad at it though,” and she let out a humorless chuckle. Her face was like that of a kicked puppy, deeply apologetic despite not knowing what they did wrong.
“I mean yeah I’d like it if you made me come, but I don’t like when it hurts, Abby.” She looked back down at your legs, seeing the discomfort in your tense muscles for the first time.
“It always hurts though,” Abby responded. She’d said it as though it were common knowledge, but your wide eyes indicated otherwise.
“Always?” and you know the answer by the look on her face. “It’s not supposed to hurt if you warm up to it, y’ know. Like get me wet and stretched out and all.”
Abby felt almost like she were being scolded. She’d given you the wrong answer, and she felt a twinge of shame at her naivety. Louder than intended, Abby countered, “well with Owen it was just always like that, okay?”
Abby huffed and watched you, expecting you to laugh at her misconception. But you only shuffled to sit in front of her and hold her hands gently. “I’m sorry, Abby. I don’t want it to be like that between us, like I’m some tool to use and toss aside.” You brought her fingertips to your lips, planting a soft peck on each and every one. “Call me sappy all you like, but I don’t want us to fuck, I want us to make love.” Abby watched you in a trance.
From your perspective, Abby looked akin to a deer in headlights. She had one move in her playbook and it wasn’t the right one. You took mercy on her, gently pushing her onto her back. “Here baby, just relax. Let me take care of you instead,” you hum with a soft smile.
You straddled her sitting frame and pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead. You pressed your forehead to hers, closing your eyes in contentment as you’re immersed in her scent and can feel the heat of her breath. Your weight in her lap was comforting, like gravity keeping her grounded. You were her stability.
You trailed kisses down her neck and toyed with the hem of her shirt, “can you take this off for me, baby?” She eagerly nodded, crossing her arms to peel the fabric over her broad shoulders. She was left in a weathered white sports bra, and you cheekily snapped one of the shoulder straps, “this too please.” You watched amused as Abby wrestled out of the tight fabric.
Unsurprisingly, Abby was built like a brick house. You caressed her waist softly, attempting to soothe her nerves as you admired her. Her chest was pale, contrasting sharply with the golden, freckled skin of her biceps. On her back, Abby’s breasts lay flat on her chest with pretty pink nipples hardening in the open air. You lay your cheek on her left breast to listen to her heartbeat. You smiled, it pumped steadily and quickly, betraying Abby’s excitement. Your hands didn’t cease their wandering, groping up and down her torso. Her tense muscles were slowly releasing, “I’ve got you, honey, just relax and let me make you feel good.”
You eagerly unbuckled her belt and slipped it through the loops. Abby lifted her hips, and you were able to wriggle the cargo pants off of her thick thighs. From the inside of her knee to the crease of her thigh, you pressed wet kisses.
You lowered onto your forearms and deeply inhaled the sweet and salty scent of slick and sweat. Your tongue was inches from her soaking lips, but you couldn’t help but give into an urge you had been suppressing for a long time. Your arms wrapped around Abby’s thighs, pulling each leg in with all your might to trap yourself between them. With squished cheeks and a blissed out smile, you hummed in contentment. Once satisfied, your grip relented enough to accommodate the width of your shoulders. Abby startled and hissed through her teeth when your teeth clamped onto her thigh. You gave the bite an apologetic kiss and leaned your cheek against her inner thigh, “Abby?”
Flushed red and sweating at the vulgar display, Abby nodded for you to continue. “Can I taste you? Please?” Your hand rested on her public bone, thumb coming down to trace feather-light circles around her throbbing clit. “I can make it feel so so good, I promise.”
Almost mortified, Abby held you back with a palm to your forehead. “Wait! Baby, no, that’s dirty you don’t have to do that.” She resisted her urge to let you touch her, but her hips were twitching in response to your teasing regardless.
You were practically sticking your tongue out to try and get a taste, pressing your forehead against her palm. “Huh?” you ask incredulously, “dirty? What makes you think that?”
Abby looked unsure, eyes darting to the side to focus on formulating an answer. “Well, it’s just… gross.”
Despite knowing the answer, you ask, “you’ve never had someone give you head before, then?”
“…no” Abby grumbled.
Lips pursed, you hummed. “Well if it’s gross then I must be too, because I love to eat pussy.”
She “tsk”ed, “you know that’s not what I meant, you’re not gross.”
You looked up at her with those pleading eyes she could never say “no” to. “Please, Abby? I’m so hungry and you smell so good.” A teasing kiss was pressed to her pubic bone, inches away from where she needed you most. You scattered kisses and bites across her hips and thighs, hoping for a taste of something more. Her breath was hitching at your attention, and you could hear an almost imperceptible “okay…” over the sound of a wet smooch.
You leaned against her thigh with an excited grin, “‘okay’ what?”
Abby relented, arm across her face to cover her burning cheeks, “you can taste me.”
You eagerly sealed your mouth against her pussy in a passionate kiss. Your tongue slipped against her clit softer than her fingers ever could. It was warm and slippery against throbbing clit, coaxing it to hardness until it peeked from its hood.
Abby’s breath caught in her throat at the feeling of you placing a loud, squeaky kiss to her clit. You leaned back to lick your lips. Your eyes slipped closed at the taste, sighing contentedly. “See? Not gross. And you taste really fucking good too.” Her face burned with the compliment. She could hardly believe how blissed out you were just from your mouth on her pussy. You hummed and moaned into her like you were getting off on her taste.
A slow, firm lick up Abby’s pussy had her clenching around nothing. The tip of your tongue and her clit were linked by a string of saliva. The string snapped, and you spat crudely on her cunt to follow it. Abby flinched at the contact, hypersensitive and aching. As if pleading, her hips bucked toward your mouth.
A minor panic took Abby when she saw you sit up. You stroked her aching thighs, attempting to soothe her. “Shh, shh it’s alright, I’m not done yet, don’t worry.” Her tensing muscles released and she melted back into the mattress.
Abby puffed out a long breath at the familiar feeling of being left on the edge. It was an almost tingling numbness left by your absence.
You kissed her and laid on her side, draping one of her arms over your shoulder and slinging a leg over one of hers to trap it in place. You draped an arm over her waist and kissed her tenderly. Satisfied that you had her complete attention, you tuck your chin into her shoulder. Your lips grazed the shell of her ear as you whispered, “can I fuck you with my fingers, Abby?” The heat of your breath against her ear and your indecent proposal had a shiver running up her spine and a plea leaving her lips.
Your hand slid down Abby’s clenching stomach, nails scratching lightly through her happy trail and the thatch of hair at her center. You started slow, two fingers rubbing her clit back and forth. You eased her back into the rhythm you had reached before, desperation showing in your quickening movements. You bit and sucked an array of marks into her neck and shoulders. The press of your teeth stung, always followed by a soothing and apologetic kiss.
Your treatment to Abby’s clit had slick covering her labia and sliding down to form a puddle beneath her. From flicking back and forth over her clit, your fingers were soaked base to tip. You reached further between her toned thighs, shuffling a few inches down the bed to reach. Your middle and ring finger traced the rim of Abby’s dripping pussy, only dipping inside at the sound of her whining.
You eased Abby into the stretch, penetrating her to the first knuckle and slowly pulling out before pushing just a little deeper. Each time your fingers hilted inside her, Abby felt like she’d have the wind knocked out of her. Your fingers didn’t reach far, but it was more than enough based on the rhythmic clenching of her walls. You made a beckoning motion with your fingers, grazing a soft spot that sent Abby’s eyes rolling back in her head. Abby had whimpered and whined from your tongue, and your fingers were sure to have her screaming. She no longer had the bandwidth to feel embarrassed, guttural moans escaping from deep within her chest. Your hand jerked back and forth to repeatedly hit Abby’s soft spot. The heel of your hand slapped and ground against her clit with the motion.
Where your leg wrapped around Abby’s to keep her thighs spread, your pussy ached. You ground your hips against the firm muscle, a wet and sticky mess spreading over her. It wasn’t enough to push you to orgasm, but it was enough to tide you over as you fed off of Abby’s pleasure. She quickly approached her orgasm as you were edged on her thigh.
Her thighs trembled and her walls pulsed, so you doubled your efforts. You were desperate to see and taste her come, so you begged. Abby groaned through gritted teeth at your pleas. You begged to feel her hug your fingers, to let you lick up the slick that dripped slow and sweet like honey from her lips. You sought it out selfishly, moaning with Abby as she was overcome with heat.
Her thighs snapped closed around your hand, trapping it against her pussy. Your hand was still, but you didn’t quit the curling of your fingers or the grinding of your palm to her clit. Abby’s hips rolled into your digits, groaning shakily as she clenched around you. You felt her clit pulse in time with her throbbing pussy. The base of your fingers were wrapped with a white, foamy ring. The palm of your hand was sticky with Abby’s release. She’d made a right mess.
Abby panted, flushed and weak from all the exertion. She sighed and relaxed into the feeling of feather light kisses being traced up her neck. She was melting into the mattress as you pressed little giggly kisses all over her face. Days, maybe weeks, of tension was pulled from her shoulders. She felt blissed out, sleepy, content. Most of all she felt loved.
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A/n: this was in the drafts for a long while. When I saw Abby and Owen’s “love” scene, it felt more like an act of aggression, so I wanted to explore how Abby might think she should top based on her experience.
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pomefioredove · 4 months ago
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Can I pretty please have The housewardens (Plus Ruggie and Rook) with a kawaii metal singer? Like soft feminine voice and cutesy outfits and then on stage is just death screaming and gets embarrassed because apparently "Guys find it embarrassing when fem people metal scream."
interesting... I'll see what I can do!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ kawaii metal singer
type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, ruggie, azul, kalim, vil, rook, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral but implied feminine in the way they dress, reader is not specified to be yuu
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imagine having a conversation about music with Riddle
he's pleasantly surprised!
he thought he had nothing in common with you
but you're a musician!
to him, mastering an instrument is akin to mastering a subject or acing an exam
and he'll talk your ear off about his favorite composers and concertos
of course, he's curious about what you play
so, you show him a song
and he's...
...well...
it's... music, he supposes
it takes the same skill to play (perhaps even more?) so he's still impressed. just... surprised!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona's reaction? yawn
a musician is just like a theater kid with a weapon
based on the way you dress, he can already guess
piano? pop? wannabe indie?
undoubtedly something upbeat and fast
that he has no interest in
it's not until he starts hearing the whispers that he gives it a second thought
funny enough, it's the other boy's dislike that draws him in
and, oh, was he wrong
the first time Leona hears you screaming, he's smitten
you've got some voice on you, that's for sure
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ruggie already associates femininity with strength
(whether you're girl or not, mind you)
so, he's not really taken aback or 'nothin
you show him a clip of one of your performances, and his reaction is more like:
"Cool. Nice chords. What's for dinner?"
he knows that not everyone is gonna see it that way
but to him, it's nothing to write home about
...unless he thinks you're gonna be a good provider for him
then he might tell his grandma he's bringing you home for break
"How much do you singers make, anyway?"
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
now, Azul was captivated from the start
when Jade came back to him with intel on you, he wasn't expecting you to be a singer
how intriguing...
Azul is a musical person himself, so, of course he was curious
but it's not until he tries to strike a deal with you that he realizes he was very, very wrong
your voice in exchange for anything you desire...
...and you start laughing at him
"my voice? do you know what I sing?"
Azul is a little taken aback by your reaction
now, what's so funny?
eventually, you share a little of your work, and he...
...well, he's impressed, that's for sure
it takes a lot of vocal training to be able to do that
but unless Floyd takes up a new hobby, he has no use for a metal singer's voice
so, for now, he'll simply admire your talent from afar
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
People tend to see Kalim as this witless little flower who can't be exposed to anything "scary"
and, sure, he can be naive at times
but it actually takes a lot to freak him out
he's also been hanging out with Lilia Vanrouge for two years, so, you know
he'd just be impressed, if anything
"Wow, that's so cool! I wish I could do that, but my voice can't go that high, and Jamil doesn't want me to hurt my throat..."
I mean, really impressed
he'll beg you to show him all of your songs
and he might try to get you to one of his club meetings, too
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil is more like,
"Well, I hope you're taking adequate care of your throat. You'll overexert yourself if not,"
...so, no
he's not even phased by it
Vil is a performer himself, after all
he's more concerned with your physical and mental wellbeing than you being "embarrassing"
the next day, he'll show up at your door with an armful
this is for your throat, this will keep your skin from drying out under the lights, this foundation is designed for stage...
he's always been generous, after all
and he certainly won't accept no for an answer
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
similarly, Rook doesn't think anything of it
he's simply taken by you
...your devotion, your energy, your heart!
sometimes he, too, feels like screaming for his passions!
you can expect him to be your number one fan
and be at each of your performances, whether small or big, on stage or just in your room
(whether you know he's there or not)
he always seems to know just what to get you, though. tea with honey? salt water for your throat?
he's thought of it before you even have to ask
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Idia is fangirling over it before he even meets you
listen, in his defense-
one of his favorite animes is about a kawaii metal singer!
and he was already familiar with the genre, anyway
so... no, it's not weird to him
if anything, he feels weird for never being able to talk to you about it
it's basically like talking to one of his idols IRL
whether you're a well-known performer or just make videos online is irrelevant to him
you'll be receiving a lot of anonymous donations from someone named gloomurai
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
when Lilia makes an offhand comment about your music, Malleus is intrigued
you'd never mentioned being a musician, after all
the next time you see each other, he asks
but, much to his confusion, you seem... embarrassed?
he quickly explains he only heard it from Lilia, and didn't mean to offend you, and-
ah...
that's why you're embarrassed?
you think he won't like you because others have said it's unbecoming?
humans are so strange, he thinks
it's only music, after all. it'd take much more to make him dislike you
besides, this is Lilia's foster son we're talking about. he's been exposed to every genre at least once
555 notes · View notes
mamayan · 1 year ago
Note
yandere jjk? with noncon(your wish) megumi /gojo/toji
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Yandere Gojo Satoru, Toji Fushiguro, Megumi Fushiguro x Fem! Darling
cw: Not proof read • Gladiator JJK! • Slave girl reader • Dark • Yandere • NSFW • Fem/AFAB Reader • NONCON turned DUBCON • Punishment • Spanking • Darling has hair long enough to pull • Spitting • Oral/Deep Throating • PIV Sex • Anal/Anal Play • Double Penetration • Gangbang • Praise/Degradation • Humiliation • Dumbification • Overstimulation • Dom jjk men • Sub reader • Kinda fluffy? • Manipulation • Sadistic Satoru (kinda)
wc: A lot? Idk like 4k or more, I did half on google doc and half here lol
Porn with no plot, just straight porn.
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“Hey, Meg,” it’s bad. This entire day couldn’t be going more horribly wrong.
“Hn?” A soft grunt for someone covered in so much gore.
“Your old man care we’re in his quarters?” The white haired male had his eyes covered by a strange metal band, one usually connected to a helmet. He wore no head gear though, hardly any armor either. A testament to his confidence and strength.
“He doesn’t.” The dark haired male still dripping blood spoke back, but his eyes didn’t leave your cowering form.
“Well then shall we? I’ve been hard since I won my match. Be a shame to waste good meat when it’s offered up like this.” The vile and leering tone of the white haired devil above you only had your blood going icy. The cool wet stone beneath your aching knees and skinned up palms was a stark contrast to your boiling insides. They spoke as if you were akin to the animals kept beneath the Colosseum, as if you were livestock meant for slaughter and not a living person. You should’ve known better, your Master had been so eager to offer up a servant for the great Gladiator Toji upon the man’s request. It seemed odd to not send a more experienced servant… instead your Master sent you. A lesser slave and much more inexperienced… you now realize why after being sent below the arena you were only used to seeing from above.
Gladiators surely have earned their keep. Muscles and bared teeth, the Gladiators are warriors to their core, ready to spill blood and die at any moment.
A soft thing like you? They wanted to chew up and spit out. Swallow whole. Take you apart piece by piece until you knew nothing of your own name or life before. Except you were Toji’s and that meant something. Well, to everyone but the two younger males standing over you. The white haired male seemingly a bit older than the dark, the two close too as the older one leaned against his younger counterpart with a hand on his hip as he examined you behind his metal eye block. You knew who these two males were. Everyone knew who they were.
Satoru and Megumi, you’d only seen them from afar, not wealthy enough to afford to sit closer to the arena floor. Even from afar they left an impression though, at least on your soul.
Demons.
Creatures from hell which have proven unkillable. Megumi being Toji’s son, while Satoru acted as Megumi’s teacher. They ruled the arena, and it’s not a secret that Satoru is a noble’s son who willingly joined the Gladiators after serving in the Imperial military. Megumi too volunteered for his position, while his father stayed employed working off an endless debt due to a gambling addiction the wealthy enjoy feeding. His mountain of owed cash so overflowing it’s rumored he even owes to the Emperor himself.
Yet it didn’t explain why you were here like this. You’d been told indirectly from a stable hand that Toji wished you to clean and wait in his chambers, private unlike lower classed Gladiators. Instead you’d been grabbed and tossed to the floor by Satoru and spoken about before your very eyes. You weren’t a fool. What they, or at least Satoru wanted, was clear enough.
“I-I’m sorry if I offended m-my lords, p-please forgive—,” you were silenced by a hand raising, a slim perfect finger help up against plush pink lips. Satoru’s lips tilted up in amusement as he eyed you behind his shades.
“Nu-uh pretty, you be good and stay silent while we talk, okay?” He spoke to you as one would address a child, not how a man who was quickly untying his leather breaches might. He ignored your trembling form to return his attention to his pupil.
“She’s cuter close up like this, right Meg?” Satoru teased, happy to free his aching hard cock from the tight confines of his pants. He loved the look of fright in your wide doe eyes, a slight tremor to your bottom lip. “I’ve been craving to sink my cock into your little cunt for a while now.” He’s addressing you again, crouching down to get more to your eye level so you caught a flash of bright blue through the metal blocking his eyes. His grin is sadistic and jovial, sharp canines bared aggressively as he jerks his leaking shaft without shame while watching you.
“P-please don’t—hgh!” Your jaw is gripped in an iron lock by Satoru, who still smiles despite the furrow of his brow.
“Thought I said no talkin’? If I need’a say it again…” he leaves the threat open. You can only tearfully nod the best his grip allows, cheeks smushed and lips pursed cutely while your reddened eyes silently ask for mercy this time. His grip softens minutely, “Good girl~” he praises, smile becoming less vicious as he releases you to stand up again.
“Want her first Meg?” Satoru addresses the silent male, who stares down at you with the same intensity he held the moment you’d entered the chambers.
“Yes.” That chills you more than Satoru’s comment, Megumi’s demeanor more dark and strangely concerning as he steps towards you. You have a few options now, and your mind reminds you that if you don’t act now it’s entirely over for you. Your first option is to simply allow it to happen. You’re a slave with no status, and you’ve had your ownership transferred to a Gladiator in eternal debt with the most violent track record. These two before you have a close connection with your new owner, disobeying could mean death.
Then again obedience could mean it too.
You leapt, lucky enough to escape the hand reaching out to grab you as you sprinted for the door. The thick wooden frame made your muscles scream as you yanked it open, and just as your foot stepped through the threshold, you were yanked back by your hair. A sharp scream echoed off the stone walls, your legs kicking out in protest as you fought back wildly.
Megumi needle only one arm to yank you up off your feet and onto the low platform bed his father occasionally used to sleep on. It’s been weeks though since he’s bothered sleeping in his own chambers, more often than not bought home by a noble woman for the evening after matches to warm their bed for a steep price. He rolled his eyes at your dramatics, easily subduing you with a hand circling your neck and slowly decreasing your oxygen and blood flow.
It made you very compliant, much to his lower half’s enjoyment. The little whimpers and weak hands slapping at his chest were akin to a kitten’s attack.
“Let’s see here~” Satoru hums, quick to grip the fabric of your clothing between two hands and tear it down the middle. It was a useless endeavor to attempt to escape, as they chuckle and strip you entirely naked on the bed smelling of dust, sweat, and blood now. Both males haven’t showered, Megumi’s body the most blood soaked even after stripping. The metallic sour tinge to his masculine scent revolting as you turn your head away in disgust.
“Nu-uh~ bad girl, you keep your eyes on us, or I’ll just remove them from your skull. Okay?” It didn’t matter how terrified you were before, the thought of your eyes being removed had them snapping to the male who threatened you. He’d tossed aside his eye piece, letting you see the visibly beautiful face of a God it seemed smiling down at you. In a way he was a God, or at least blessed by one, his strength and power undeniable but wicked and cruel ways no less. One pale slender finger pressed against the side of your face, just under your eye, and Satoru took enjoyment seeing how quickly you froze up. “Be a good girl now, Meg hasn’t had a woman before, so you’ll both get to have your first! Isn’t that romantic?” It wasn’t, at least to you, but the almost dreamy look in the dark eyed male was unmistakable.
Megumi was certainly in a dream it seemed. How could he not be? You were here, beneath him, and completely naked and vulnerable to do as he pleased. Before today he was certain you didn’t know his name, or if you did it was merely from his matches. He knew your name though, said it a thousand times when he gripped his cock and worked himself over, moaning it while he came nearly every morning. He wouldn’t need to touch his cock anymore though. He had you now. Whether he needed to share you with his teacher or father wasn’t bothersome, it meant you had more eyes looking out for you anyway.
Satoru amused himself with scaring you senseless while Megumi parted your trembling thighs, settling his shoulders between them to keep you from closing them again. “Oh fuck,” he breathed, catching Satoru’s attention.
“Look how wet she is…” Megumi couldn’t bring himself to much else but admire your soaked cunt even as you mumbled quiet pleas and prayers.
“Oh? Are you a little pervert Y/N? Do you like the thought that we’re going to fuck you?” Satoru’s relentless, soft lips pressing close to your ear and whispering his intentions and insults against the shell while you writhe at the feeling of something soft and slimy poking through your folds. His tongue, you realize with a jolt of him licking up, grazing your sensitive little clit. Your gasp doesn’t go unnoticed by either male, and soon a wide chiseled chest blankets you as Satoru captures your lips in a heavy kiss and invasion of your mouth. Megumi focuses on your lower mouth though, fingers digging into the fat of your thigh as he struggles to retain his sanity as he loses himself to your taste and the erotic euphoria filling him. Every little wiggle and moan encourages him on where to lick and suck, and eventually his fingers sneak down and into your quivering wet hole.
“Mhm! P-plea—!” Satoru muffles all protest with his mouth, one free hand playing with your chest while you struggle to avoid the building pressure in your lower belly as Megumi relentlessly attacks your nub and hole. He flicks and meanly pinches and pulls your nipples, enjoying how your spine arches up each time he bullies them. He doesn’t let you avoid his kiss, and if you close your mouth he plugs your nose and forces it open again so his tongue can taste you.
It’s too much, and you’re coming much too quickly from their rough attention.
It doesn’t end though, only changes as Megumi lifts up, dark hair slightly limp and falling into his eyes as he softly smiles at you, much like a lover might despite the horrid situation. “So good f’me, think you can do it again for him?” He’s not really asking, as he switches places with Satoru who looks overjoyed and viscous as he stares at your quivering dripping pussy.
“Course she can, just listen.” Satoru laughs, messily rubbing your overly sensitive clit and eliciting a yelp from your swollen lips. The lewd wet noises produced from his heavy petting only increasing the shame building inside you as you tearfully whine and try to twist your hips away. “She’s soaking the bed too. We’re getting everything dirty anyway, let’s just fuck her up as much as possible.” You don’t understand what that means until two fingers sink all the way inside you without warning.
“Oh Gods!” Your short cry is silenced again when Megumi decides to kiss you. His lips more tentative and the taste slightly shocking until you realize you’re tasting yourself on his tongue. Despite all you wish for, it makes you tighten on Satoru’s fingers as he gleefully curls them up inside your gummy walls.
“Think she likes how she tastes.” The devilish comment only makes Megumi groan in response, pulling back slightly to reply. “She tastes fucking delicious.” He murmurs against you, stealing your breath again while your poor cunt is finger fucked by Satoru at a quick and forceful rate. Each thrust of his hand accompanied by a loud squelch as he uses his other hand to ensure you stay spread and still despite the panic striking you.
“Mh! S’too’—ngh!!!” Even as you squirm and cry, neither lets up until you’re breaking this time, orgasm so strong you feel your eyes roll back.
“That’s it pretty girl, cum for me,” Satoru nearly comes with you as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm, fluid rapidly forced from the confines of your cunt and out as you squirt for him. It’s a sight for sore eyes, the cute fucked out expression on your face as they force your body to relax and lubricate itself for their pleasure.
You’re too out of it to notice the switch again, Megumi back between your thighs but this time holding his curved thick cock between his fingers. Gripping it, he pulls back the skin hiding his sensitive head, easily slicking the tip up. The bulbous soft head smushing against your clit and folds and dragging up and down as you squeak and tiredly roll your head to look up and down.
It’s too late to truly realize what’s happening until his hips are surging forward and the tight ring of muscle at the opening of your pussy is stretched wide open on his cock for the first time. Your scream is silent, mouth open but no noise leaving. Instead you hear Megumi’s moans, short gasps of pleasure huffed into the humid and heating room as he struggles to work his shaft into your tight canal either trying to suck him further in or force him out. Your contracting muscles and choked gasps only spur him to fuck deeper until you’re filled inch by inch with him.
He bottoms out eventually, your sweaty bodies tinged slightly pink as he rubs against you, smearing blood from the Gladiator he killed today on your skin now.
“Wow~ look at how well you’re taking him, here, I’ll help.” In your shock and daze, you’d nearly forgotten about Satoru. The male happy to lift you up and make you see the enormous cock now swallowed up inside you, filling you almost painfully as you shake. “How’s it feel Meg?” He asks, blue eyes looking at Megumi’s strained expression.
“G-good…” is all he can manage. It’s better than good, more than good will ever be, but it’s all he can choke out without snapping and fucking you roughly.
“Hm~ it’ll feel better if you play with her here,” Satoru guides, his striking blue gaze focused on you with a nearly malevolent intensity as you grit your teeth to attempt to adjust to the intrusion more gracefully. He ruins it though, skilled fingers dancing down your belly and right to where you’re most vulnerable. Your cry isn’t silenced this time as Satoru presses down on the fleshy pearl above your opening. Megumi’s clumsy thrusts have spread you to your limit while Satoru rubs your nub with calculated precision.
“F-forgive me…I-I’m sorry…” both males look to your face now, confusion painting Megumi’s flushed face while Satoru seems enamored.
“How cute~ what’re you apologizing for?” He doesn’t let up. His fingers give you no rest and Megumi’s jerky thrusts seem intent on staying as deeply buried as possible. “Shh, being s’good, relax for me.” Megumi murmurs close to your ear, leaning over you some as Satoru braces you from behind.
It’s too much. You’re clamping down tight around the hot shaft stuffed deep inside, muscles contracting almost painfully around him.
“Gods—fuck, she’s so tight,” he sounds in pain, his nails digging in more harshly into your flesh as Megumi struggles to withhold his orgasm. It’s useless, moments after your own crashes down, he’s spilling into you, thick spurts of cum filling your womb as you groan and lay limp in Satoru’s arms.
Megumi recovers faster than you though, kissing your tired sweaty face as you blearily stare up in a daze.
He finds it cute.
Satoru does too. Happy to simply pull you up under your arms like a rag doll and position over his lap and against his chest.
“I can’t—a-anymore, no more—,”
“Poor thing. Has no one told you it’s good to push your limits? I think you can. Should we see who is right?” Your pleading look is lost on Megumi who merely pats your hair down, face serene as he watches you. Satoru gives you no time to recover before he’s wrapping an arm around your waist and lifting you.
“No cryin’ now, I let Meg stretch you out good n’well, I don’t want any tears unless they’re from how good I’m fuckin’ you.” His grin is sinful as he lets gravity sink you on his cock, the low light of the candles on the wall giving the illusion of sunset across his pale pretty features.
“O-oh!” Satoru snickers a laugh as you moan in startled shock. His words not a lie as he stretches you out in a different way. Where Megumi had been thick and curved, Satoru was much longer, hitting so deep it felt like the air was knocked from your lungs. It was enough a surprise to have you holding onto him, making the white haired Gladiator coo at you.
“Look at you~,” he’s not gentle as he bounces you on his cock. “Am I just so deep in this pussy? She seems to like how I fill her out, she’s just gushin’ all over me.” He holds onto the fat of your ass, hands spread wide to help anchor and rock you as he thrusts up. “Stay awake, pretty girl, remember what I told you? Eyes on me.” It’s difficult to concentrate on his husky voice when it seems he’s intent on breaking you, each time his shaft struck deep inside you swore your vision blurred. This wasn’t the slow overwhelming pleasured pain forced on you by Megumi… this was just rough sloppy sex with a maniac. Nevertheless, you do as told as try to keep your eyes open and on Satoru. His gaze didn’t waver like yours, despite the sweat sliding down his cheek, he never lost his arrogant smile or sparkle in his eyes.
A stark contrast to the lax expression you wore, lips parted and wet as you struggle to even swallow as you tearily moan like a whore in a brothel for these Gladiators using you like a sex toy. Your fucked out face and impending orgasm are what send Satoru over the edge. When your soft warm pussy creams around him and your eyes cross, Satoru can’t help but nearly whimper as his balls draw up tight and he fills you up along with Megumi’s earlier load.
The dark haired male seemingly content to watch or occasionally praise and pet sweetly while Satoru savagely used you.
It’s over, it must be over, you think as Satoru pulls out of you slowly with a soft pop, lifting you up and off to the side to lay you down. You can feel their combined releases leak down your thighs, soft hiccups escaping you as you catch your breath and come down from the intense high.
You feel nearly hollow as both men stand and begin loosely dressing, holstering their weapons back into their bodies as they prepare to simply leave.
It hurts worse despite all else.
“Pretty girl looks heartbroken Meg, should we stay?”
“Not when he’s coming back from a match, we need to meet with the Emperor before he goes back to the Palace.” Megumi shakes his head, his gaze softening when it lands on you.
“We’ll be back in a few hours, be good.”
They’re gone after those words, and while your heart filled with fury and humiliation, your eyes burned with sadness and something akin to loneliness. Just as you’d finished wallowing in self pity, ready to pull yourself together again and clean up both yourself and the mess made, the door opens again.
Both of you freeze, though for different reasons.
Toji froze because he’d forgotten he’d had you sent here, and you froze because a monster was standing before you.
Your scream is muffled before it leaves your lips, one single palm covering nearly your entire face as Toji looms over you in his full arena battle armor, the black intricately designed metal dripping crimson as he drops his weapon to the ground with a clang.
“Non’a that shit. Hear me, girl?” You nod weakly to show you listened.
Once he was sure you weren’t planning to scream his ears off more than the crowds already did, he released you and took another look.
Cute and well fucked is his first appraisal. He briefly recalls Megumi telling him his wish to have you, so it’s not strange his kid had jumped on his new slave so quickly. The marks littering you were likely that asshole’s doing, his kid too soft to be anything but be sweet towards the object of his affection. Toji briefly considered getting paid for his services tonight, but he was tired, and you looked fresh enough still.
“They fuck you good?” His question brought a baffled look to your face, amusing him as he begins unfastening his ties and removing his armor. You stay awestruck before him as he slowly sheds his persona in the arena, his laid back rugged appearance quite handsome up close as he towers over you with both height and brawn.
“M-master—,” you would either be killed or sold, there’s no way—
“You think you can handle me too?”
You stand nude before your new master still dripping the cum of his son and peer, and he asks if he can have a turn too?
“Yeah. I think you can.” He answers himself in your state of shock, and despite the sweat and blood coating him, he’s unabashed as he strips naked and corrals you back onto the bed.
“M-master please, I-I need to clean up! A-and sh-should run you a bath!” You were grasping at straws, frantically trying to escape the beastly male now licking his lips with a smirk, the scar in his mouth tugging up. You make the mistake of looking down, only to see the monster he contained beneath his armored belt.
Why was it so big? The girth alone frightened you, his length even longer than Satoru’s too, the veins running along the enormous shaft made your poor slick cunt still dripping cum clench. He’d break you. There’s not a doubt in your mind as you crawl away, his advance never slowing as he chuckles at your display.
“I don’t see why ya can’t clean after, hn?” He descends like a wolf to prey, easily pinning you down on your back, slotting his body between your thighs and forcing them open painfully wide to accommodate his size. “Don’t even need’t prep, still drippin’ huh?” He smiles, lazily grabbing his heavy appendage and lubricating himself through your folds.
“P-please master, it won’t fit—hah!” Your cry of shock only makes him sink faster and deeper into you, pressing and forcing himself into your cunt which protests the weighty thick invasion of the older male above you. He smells like the earth, like soft dirt and grass, metallic like copper, and sweat. Toji watches as your back arches further and further up, the sharp angle not looking entirely pleasant but it pushes your bust up for him to lean over and capture a perky nipple to suckle on, his teeth grazing the tip and groaning as your cunt spasms around him.
“Never understand why women say it won’t fit,” Toji mumbles against your saliva covered tit, strings of it still connected to his mouth as he casually addresses you despite pulling out and making you feel like he’s going to take your insides with it. “Y’can push a baby through here, my cock isn’t as big as that.” Not the point, but you’re too feverish to pay attention any longer as he begins sliding in easier and easier as the combined releases from earlier lube his cock to fuck you.
He sees the strain on your face, the shaking of your thighs and the tears leaking down your cheeks again. Generously, Toji lifts up under both your knees and hoists you higher, holding your lower half up and allowing himself to slide deeper. The girlish squeal you release only has his hips snapping harder, working his cock in as deep as he can, feeling the stress of the day melt in your soft tight pussy. He grunts as you cum, mouth open as drool escapes down your chin, cute wet moans so soft and breathy as you shudder and gasp.
“That feel good?” He smiles, the dopey expression on your face too cute for him not to bend down and capture your lips this time. Sucking and nibbling on your lips till they’re swollen before he delves his tongue into your hot mouth, his tongue taking up too much space until you’re squirming for air. He denies you it, swirling around your own pink appendage while rocking you with each thrust, rolling his hips expertly until your eyes are going crossed and you’re meeting his thrusts with your own. When your hands move to touch him, he restrains them, curling his much larger hands around your own and putting them beside your head while he presses you up and down into a mating press.
“Oh gods,” you can only cry for mercy, begging for more or less you aren’t sure, as he languidly pumps his cock into you until you don’t know up from down.
“No gods here girl, just this fucking tight little cunt y’got here, beggin’ f’another load.” You can’t even shake your head, in fact you find you wouldn’t mind it, the feeling of his hot seed spilling into you. He’s pressed you down so well you can’t even wiggle your hips, only moan and whine waiting for him to speed up, to fuck you harder.
He doesn’t. Just keeps the same steady pace and rhythm, balls slapping your ass at the same time, slimy and wet with all the mixed fluids your cunt has forced out by Toji’s invasion. Toji ignores your nonverbal cues for more, smirk still the same as he even occasionally grinds in deep to watch your eyes widen and lips part. The soft squishy leaking tip of his cock continuously smushing up against the soft barrier of your cervix, ready to spill his load and fill your womb.
“Master~” you begin to lose it completely, arching up as well as you can to press your chest to him, “Harder! Please fuck me! Please, harder please—,” a mindless chant for more, just a little more, to push you into that crest of euphoria where you crave to be again.
Who is he to deny such cute lewd begging?
Toji laughs, grin bared like a wild animal as he leans even more weight down on you before picking up his pace, pounding you into the mattress while your eyes roll back into your skull and you scream your impending orgasm. It hits you so hard you pass out for a moment, vision completely darkening as waves of pleasure engulf you.
Toji spills his load not long after, groaning deep in his throat as he releases as deep into you as possible, hips stilling and locking against your groin to ensure your cunt doesn’t waste a drop.
“Hey,” you’re too out of it, as he taps your cheek and only receives a blissed out smile and clouded vision. Just as he prepares to pull out and give himself a minute before fucking you again, his door opens.
“Boo~! You stretched her poor pussy out with that thing. I wanted to play with it again.” Satoru whines, blue eyes narrowed in childish petulance.
“Shut up, brat.” Toji rolls his eyes, cocking a brow at Megumi who moves silently around to check on you. His small smile at the pretty expression you wore grew, looking so fondly down at you it made Toji’s teeth ache.
“Hey~ Meg, you gonna use her? Otherwise I will~” Satoru begins undressing shamelessly, Toji’s exasperated glower ignored as the white haired male joins them in bed, tapping his hard cock on your puffy slick lips, letting you taste his salty precum.
“Fucking brats.” Despite his words, Toji feels his cock hardening again inside your warmth, giving a few short hard thrusts into your cunt to fully harden. He grips your hips and rolls so you rest on his chest, digging his fingers into the fat of your ass and spreading your cheeks for the two younger males to see.
“She’s got another hole that can be filled.” Toji grunts, beginning a slow a pace sensual pace inside you, more rocking than actual thrusts as you mewl against the hard planes of his chest. Satoru shivers, licking his lips as he brings his face down to where your puckered back entrance rests untouched. He’s unbothered by Toji’s thick cock spreading your pussy open, opening his mouth and letting his tongue prod your ass while you jolt and tremble in Toji’s hold.
“Easy girl, ain’t gonna hurt.” He mumbles, roughly petting your hair while you turn your face away to look back, only to feel fingers gently tangle in your hair.
“Here,” you’re being fed more cock, Megumi’s leaking swollen tip smearing his fluids across your closed lips until they open and he can plunge into your mouth’s warm depths with a moan. Your mind slowly goes blank again, the earlier feeling of panic fading as Satoru plays with your ass, using your own cum as lube and spreading it over the hole before playfully pressing his thumb into the tight space.
You moan around Megumi’s cock, the shaft sinking deeper into your throat while Toji fucks you a little faster, feeling you tighten with Satoru’s intrusion.
They play like that for a while, slowly speeding up before becoming languid again, turning you into a soft wet mess in their hold as Satoru finally lines his cock up with your free hole, groaning loudly as he fails to press inside. A sharp slap to your ass tears you free from your bliss, the pain biting but making the pleasure stand out more as Satoru looks at your hole in irritation. “Hey, sluts should just relax, let me in,” he complains, slapping your ass again and making you do the opposite and tighten.
“Shit, tight fucking pussy,” Toji moans, moving you up and down his shaft faster while Satoru tries again, spitting on his dick lewdly and pressing the tip back at your hole, hips driving forward and finally breeching. “Ngh—!” Satoru nearly cums on the spot, feeling the tight ribbed walls of your ass strangling his cock as he spears you open.
You’re so full it’s unbelievable, head empty and completely blank while feeling two thick cocks open you up while Megumi continues to fuck your mouth.
You can’t say a word, only feel as Satoru sets the pace while Toji helps rock you back and forth. With your hips occupied with Toji’s hands, Satoru instead wraps his long slender fingers around your neck, dragging you away from Megumi, loose enough for you to breathe but tight so he can draw you up against his chest as he drives into your tight sphincter with short jerky thrusts, lips pressed against your ear as he groans low in his throat. Megumi stands, perfect height with you lifted like this to comfortably slip his cock back into your mouth and down your throat. It’s too much and not enough at the same time, the slow clapping of skin and trembling movements, no one wanting this to end too soon while you writhe and jerk in their hold as they use you.
“I think you like being our little whore, huh?” Satoru whispers in your ear like a demon. “Feeling us all fill your filthy holes, making you our pretty slut to fuck however we want.” He’s so deep inside you, hips flush with your ass he stretches you on his cock, the thin skin separating him and Toji continuously stretched and rubbed from inside. A mess of fluids coated you all from below, so much so it was all wet squelching and moans from the languid movements of the gladiators. “Bet you’d like it if we just chained you up to fill all your holes, right Princess?” His condescending tone is lost on you as you feel your lower belly tighten painfully, the fullness becoming more evident as you get closer to your end.
“Don’t tease her,” Megumi huffs, looking fondly at Satoru with a hint of exasperation. “She’s being so good, taking all of us so well,” he feels you swallow around his rod, eyes fluttered closed as he thrusts into your mouth. “We should reward her.”
Toji chuckles, knowing exactly what the two were up to.
“Oh~? How should we reward our little cum Princess then?” You stutter as you feel Toji shift his hand and press down on your belly, body shaking as your eyes watered. Your hands were useless trying to push him away, only feeling his cock twitch and flex inside of you while he smiled.
“She looks close, should help her finish.” Megumi huffs, his own end nearing as you slobber and choke on his cock.
“Hmm~ guess I’ll be nice, this time,” he breathes the last bit in your ear threateningly, but the seductive undertone has you shaking in a way that isn’t from fear. Satoru releases one hand from around your throat to dip down until he can swirl his finger around your swollen sensitive clit. It’s already covered in slick, easily letting him press and grind down, feeling you buck and moan in their grasp beautifully.
“You gonna cum Princess? All over our cocks?” Satoru has you clutched close as he fucks you, helping forcing you down on Toji’s cock while you groan around Megumi’s length. “Cum for us, let us ruin you.” It’s like he’s a prophet for the Gods, because when you do cum, you do feel ruined. Megumi’s hips stutter as you gluck and allow his cock even deeper, his balls drawing tight as he floods your throat with his cum.
Satoru and Toji cum shortly after, grunting and moaning their own finishes while you’re cradled limply against Toji’s chest now, eyes unfocused as you’re filled again and again.
Your dreams provide you with sweet relief, as you’re left unconscious in Megumi’s arms as he cleans you in a warm bath he’s pulled and heated.
“No fun~ she looked cuter covered in cum.” Satoru grins, but his smitten expression isn’t missed by Megumi who shakes his head with a smile.
“She won’t sleep good like that.” Is all he says, gently washing you clean and drying you off to take to bed. The bed Toji hardly ever uses now occupied by four occupants.
Toji watches in silence as you’re laid down, Megumi calmly sliding in while Satoru flatly lays at the bottom of the bed.
“Sure you want her?” Toji asks as the silence descends on them all.
Megumi’s dark gaze flicks up to his father.
“Hmph, acting like you don’t?” He challenged back, only to be met with a smirk and a heavy hand landing on top his head, making Satoru cackle.
You awake clean and warm, with a new pristine silver chain wrapped around your ankle and chained into the stone wall.
Satoru wasn’t kidding.
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Dividers by @benkeibear
If you liked this, please reblog!♡ It is what sustains me, well, coffee too but reblogging is the dominant factor—
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koenigami · 1 month ago
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lose myself. tags : suggestive, smut?, fem!reader, wolf!wriothesley, rut, mentions of suppressants wc : 1,7k synopsis : when his agony becomes too unbearable, neither you nor him are able to control yourselves masterlist
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The air is thick in the Fortress. Everyone has already been warned to refrain from approaching the corridor in which the Duke’s chamber was situated, let alone seek the warden himself out. Of course, no one in their right mind would even dare to do so, as everyone who resided within the fortress was well aware of this very specific yearly occurrence. 
Yet, as your careful steps echoed through the vacant hallway, it was obvious that your mind was far from its right place. The cutlery and porcelain clinked on the tray in your hands, yet the sound was akin to a whisper compared to the low grunts and painful moans that you could already hear from afar. The rattling of chains and cuffs got louder the closer you stepped to the thick steel doors. 
Trying to swallow past the thick lump in your throat, you breathed. In and out, several times, before you exhaled deeply one last time and dared to push through the doors. 
It was dark. You could barely see in front of you if it weren’t for the light from the hallway slipping inside through the crack of the door. And then you saw him. 
A sliver of blue caught your eyes and made you briefly freeze in place, letting your sight adjust to the barely illuminated room.
He was sitting on his bed, one leg lazily stretched out on the mattress while the other was pulled up towards his chest. The next thing that caught your eye were obviously the chains that were attached to the wall behind him and clinked with each miniscule movement that he made. With his cuffed hands in his lap, Wriothesley slowly lifted his head, ragged breaths turning quiet for mere seconds.
It seemed as if he had only now taken notice of your presence, which was nothing less than concerning as this man’s senses were always heightened. Always the first to hear someone approaching, and the best at recognising people solely by their smell. 
“So sweet.” He had once whispered, lips brushing against your ear as he approached you in the cantine. “Could smell you all the way to my office, my love.”
Once you deemed yourself ready, you eventually dared to round the bed and set the tray down on his nightstand. Too many pills, suppressants, littered its surface, and your breath hitched when you took note of the deep claw-like scratches along the wooden piece of furniture. 
“What are you-” He cleared his throat. “What are you doing here? Who let you in?”
“I let myself in.” You explained matter-of-factly, trying to keep your voice steady and controlled, pretending that you weren’t perturbed by his current state. “This is my bedroom too in case you forgot.” 
Usually, Wriothesley’s deep timber laugh would make your stomach flutter, your own lips curve into a sweet content smile. But something about it seemed darker this time, almost intimidating. It made your heartbeat climb up to your throat, and your palms sweat and twitch uncontrollably. “How many times do I have to tell you?” 
His head limply fell back on the headboard, his naked throat and torso on full display and glistening with light traces of sweat in the dimly lit room. With deep laboured breaths, his chest heaved and you could see how flushed the scarred skin was. “I don’t want you near me when I’m like this.”
The next smartass remark was already on your tongue until you noticed the reddened flesh along his wrists. You wondered how hard he must have been pulling on his restraints for his skin to look so raw. 
The bed creaked beneath your weight as you joined him, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress just so you could inspect his wounds better. With a feather light touch, you let the pads of your fingers trail over his wrists, your movements halting at each hitch and deep exhale of his breath.
He must be in so much pain, you thought. Nonetheless, as you were sitting here in front of him, he gave his all to keep his composure since he was well aware that you worried. “It’s bad, isn’t it?” You gulped and looked up at him, taking in his dishevelled state. From the sweaty strands of hair falling over his eyes, to the dark circles underneath his eyes, everything about him screamed agony. 
“Y/n.” He gritted through his teeth, the sharp white canines glinting underneath the muzzle. “Go. Away.”
With an annoyed groan, he forcefully banged his head back against the headboard when you ignored his words and instead reached for the glass of water on the tray. With the cold glass in one hand, and the end of the straw in the other, you carefully guided it through an opening of the wired muzzle and nudged his lips with it. “Come on, you must be thirsty.” 
Surprised but also relieved, you sighed when he complied and started sucking on the end of the straw. With two, three hard sucks, the glass was almost empty when he guzzled and had to pull back and cough a few times. “Slow down.” You instructed gently.
“Argh- Shit!” The handcuff jingled when he suddenly moaned, his forehead scrunching as he squeezed his eyes shut. Quickly, you set the glass aside yet all you could do was watch his body turn rigid, the muscles beneath his hot skin tensing as another gruesome wave of pain washed over him. 
Almost instinctively, your hands reached out towards him to feel him, calm him, comfort him-
But in that same instant your world was turned upside down and it took you a while to realise that Wriothesley had pinned you beneath him. His restrained hands briefly brushed along the top of your head as his elbows dug into the mattress, the man shakily hovering above you and breathing so heavily you could feel each warm exhale on your face. 
“Darling, you have to go.” He stressed again, though this time you could discern something different besides annoyance in his voice. Desperation. However, you weren’t sure whether he was desperate to save you from himself or to keep you here with him. 
Your eyes stung when a broken whine escaped him as your hand grazed the base of his ears. You watched them twitch several times with each touch of yours before they flattened on his head, his breath hitching when his body tensed up again. “Wri’, let me help you. Please.” 
Slowly, as if fearing to scare away a wild wounded animal, your palm trailed down his chest. “Don’t.” The hoarse whisper sent a rush through your body. His heart was beating so fast. Your hand trailed furtner down to his abs. “Darling.” He warned, while he was still as tense as ever, but his words did not match his body language as he didn’t shy away. Until your fingertips slid along the waistband of his pants, until you could feel the thick clothed bulge. Fuck, he was so hard- 
“Oh, fucking hell- Stop.” He shouted, probably loud enough for whoever was lingering down the hall to hear him. Yet you didn’t so much as blink or twitch a finger in response. 
Instead, he watched as your hands gently settled on each side of his face, and he knew what you were going to do. Wriothesley’s hands tightened into fists, the thick cold material of the cuffs digging further into his skin, though all he could feel right now was your body beneath his. How warm and soft you felt, how good you smelled, how beautiful you looked.
With a soft “click”, the muzzle loosened and fell from his face before you discarded it and haphazardly threw it somewhere to the side.
Bites and indents of his teeth could be clearly seen along his lower lip from all the times he must have bitten down on it. You tenderly cupped his cheek, and watched his nostrils flare as your thumb traced his marred mouth. 
Wriothesley swore he could feel his dick twitch solely at the soft gasp you let out when he parted his lips, and his wet tongue tasted the digit. With a deep hum, he closed his eyes and started sucking on your thumb, the tip of his tongue ever so often tickling your skin until he pulled back with a wet pop. 
“Wriothesley. Come on.” Your entire body was shaking at this point with anticipation. “Let me take care of you. I know you won’t hurt me.” At least not more than you could handle.
He huffed but could not control himself from leaning down to press his nose against your neck. How he was able to refrain himself from sinking his teeth into your neck and littering it with bites and hickeys, he didn’t know himself. “How do you know?” 
“I just know.” It was a weak whisper, yet carried so much more weight with the way you were looking at him. Eyes so full of life, so full of tenderness, so full of love. Love for him. 
Times and times he had wondered how you could do something like that. Love him, that is. But over and over, again and again, you had proved that some things simply did not need an explanation. Some things were given like the blue in the sky, or the constant change of seasons. Nobody questioned them. And so you had also made it clear to him to not ever allow himself to question your feelings for him. 
When the bed creaked again, and Wriothesley witnessed you lift your hips up to slip your garments down, that oh-so-sweet scent invaded his senses, and you could see how the last ounce of his resolve crumbled. His ears twitched as he watched you unbutton his pants and tug the zipper down, so damn slowly. And before you had even a chance to wrap your hand around him, he was already bucking his hips into your palm, his chest and neck all flushed.
“Fuck, fuck. Fine, but I’ll keep the handcuffs on.” He rasped, but grinned wickedly when he heard you whimper once his teeth found their way in your soft flesh.
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bigtedbear · 5 months ago
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“ 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭: 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝗼𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 “
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𝐩𝐫𝗼𝗺𝐩𝐭: 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝗼𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝗼𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞, 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝗺 𝐭𝗼 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐚𝐧! 𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠 𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝗼𝐟 𝐲𝗼𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝
content warning: 18+ NSFW, 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈, gay sex, anal penetration, monster anatomy (specifically dragon anatomy), unsafe sex (cover your stump before you hump), mutual pining, mutual obsession, yandere themes, male reader, amab reader, yandere reader, yandere character, talks of mating rituals, biting, just a wee bit of blood, codependency, obsessive behavior, a lot of concerning talk but if you look at it from afar it's actually not that bad they just match each other's freak really well, march 7th, himeko, and caelus as the best enabler wingmen ever
Part 1 here: " unexpected variable "
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" welcome back caller @hikarisecret! connecting your line as we speak! "
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"Would you happen to be interested in meeting up more often?"
He immediately stopped in place.
Nervously, you twiddled your thumbs from the doorway to your small office.
It'd been about a month since you'd help Dan Heng get through his early heat. You'd let contact drop for a couple weeks, something he'd known would probably happen but also something he'd desperately hoped wouldn't occur. He'd only really spoken to you for an extended period of time on a handful of occasions. Being one of the few researchers that followed a path aside from the endless pursuit of knowledge, he was curious.
So maybe he'd always had a little bit of a crush, but March always called you "eye candy" for when they stopped at the Space Station. It never progressed any further than a couple chats, some red cheeks, and a some pleasantries here and there.
Then the Antimatter League wormed its way into the station and there you were, at the forefront of the evacuation efforts. Instead of being an aloof, distant researcher with a mind that was roaming the stars, you were alert and concentrated. You were so quick to help, it seemed you hadn't really wrapped your head around the imminent danger right in front of you.
That was truly when his little crush turned into something a little bit more than he was prepared to handle.
He was asking for you around the station when he had the chance, after all he was too shy to approach someone randomly and start interrogating them on the whereabouts of their coworker. He also knew he was a little bit more intimidating and came off as cold to most.
His inquiries actually did the opposite of what he had hoped. Knowing he was looking around for you, he thought you might be inclined to make yourself more available to maybe slack off occasionally or just stick around and chat for a few minutes. Instead of that happening, it seemed the more people seemed to remember your existence, the more people tried to look for you.
It was never out of malice, of course, they just remembered they had a less than social coworker. They'd make the effort to say hello to you in the halls, stop in at your office to say hi and maybe bring a coffee every now and then. But it seemed you were less than eager to entertain anyone when you were constantly burying your head in your studies.
Eventually, when your coworkers would stop in at your office, they'd find you weren't there. You were constantly switching between different labs and areas to conduct tests and gather data to solidify your latest thesis. Instead of becoming more social, easier to find, it seemed you retreated even further into your shell and avoided coming into contact with anyone else all together. Trying to find you became akin to trying to hold sand in a sieve.
That was precisely why he was so surprised when you suddenly invited him for a meeting to discuss the Vidyadhara of the Xianzhou Alliance. As soon as they were back on the Astral Express, it seemed someone managed to whisper enough information into your ear to pique your interest in the species. As of now, he had his theories, but he couldn't figure out whether it was Caelus or March that let everything slip.
When you invited him back to your office after what happened to continue your little conversation, he briefly wondered if this was a little bit too good to be true. While yes, you were nothing if not a dedicated genealogy researcher, that didn't stop him from wondering if you might have different intentions.
The last time he'd been in your office, the two of you were stuck in bed for nearly a week for his heat period. Inviting him back to your office again seemed a little bit too much like an invitation after too little time to be considered a coincidence. Did you want to get him in your bed again? Did you plan on trying to get something out of him now that you knew he actively fantasized about you on his lonesome? Then again, he realized he didn't really care if the answer to either of those questions was yes.
Of course, none of his suspicions were confirmed to be true.
You were professional, almost disappointingly so. Everything you asked him was less than personal, all aimed towards furthering your understanding of the Xianzhou Alliance as a whole. You finished your round of questions about his biology, and then you moved on to culture and social etiquette.
When you offered to walk him back to the docking area, he felt a little bit hopeless. No more closeness in conversation, it seemed you severed all intimacy the moment he wasn't in heat anymore.
But now, you stood in front of him, nervous and asking if he wanted to see you again?
'Yes, yes, yes, yes,' He would love to see you again, especially if it was for something that wasn't work related.
He would take what he could get in general. If you asked him to be your lab assistant or something, he would be so much more than just happy to say yes. Whatever time you wanted to spend with him, he would make himself available.
But he was just as socially inept as you were; Dan Heng sat in a slack-jawed stupor as he tried to his best to piece together sentences with the little fragments of thoughts swirling around in a white flurry. His mouth opened; he tried to talk, but every time he tried to make any statements, he doubled back and retracted it in favor of trying to think of something better to say.
At his reaction, you waved it off disappointedly. "Forget it, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just thought-" You cut yourself off again, biting the inside of your cheek.
It seemed the archivist finally managed to recompose himself, "No, I-" He paused, trying to put his feelings into words, "I'm just surprised you wanted to spend time together. I assumed that once you gathered the relevant information, we would go back to being acquaintances that didn't speak very often."
You shook your head, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood with a strained laugh, "I'll admit that's what I planned to do a month ago, but before we.." you trailed off, "...y'know, you mentioned that I only seemed to talk to you when I needed something from the astral express archives. I didn't really think it would be fair of me to keep exploiting your kindness like that."
He shook his head, "The archives are always open to whoever wishes to read them, I didn't mean to make it sound like you were taking advantage of anything."
You chewed on the inside of your lip this time, trying to think of a way to put it into words. "Well, it's not just that I realized I was benefitting from your kindness without putting any real effort back in, the thought occurred to me... I just don't speak to anyone outside of when I need to know something."
He remained quiet.
To thin out the building tension, you added on, "Arlan's told me before that it's really not healthy to live that way." You clasped your hands behind your back, "I thought since you mentioned being upset with the fact that we don't ever get to talk, maybe spending time together would be a good opportunity for me to start reintegrating into a more social scene?"
"Oh."
You nodded, "I apologize if it seems like I'm just trying to use you, I truly do want to become friends." You kicked at nothing in particular on the ground, averting eye contact. "I'm just afraid I don't know how to be friends with anyone anymore."
He let the silence take the place of the conversation. It wasn't that he was thinking about whether or not he wanted to take you up on your offer, it was how to do it elegantly without seeming desperate.
You bit the inside of your cheek, "You don't have to make the decision now, I just thought it would come off as insincere if I asked over text."
After another pause, he bobbed his head up and down slowly. "I don't know if I'm the right person to ask, but if you're asking me to be your friend, I won't say no."
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"Mr. Yang, do you know what's wrong with Dan Heng?"
March played with the hem of her skirt, nerves clear and obvious to all three trailblazers in the room, "I was going to ask him if he wanted to go back to Belobog with me and Caelus, but his door's locked."
Welt hummed, "It could well be related to all that transpired on the Xianzhou. It may be best if you leave him to his thoughts."
March shook her head adamantly, "No, it can't be! He just made a trip to the Space Station a few days ago." She put her hands on her hips, "Besides, even when he's in a bad mood, he doesn't lock his door. He's always weirdly strict on insisting everyone has access to the archives."
He nodded again, putting a contemplative hand on his chin. "That is true." He offered another idea, "Well, did the two of you think to ask him? Perhaps he'd answer if you sent him a text."
"March wanted to yell at him through the door, but we thought it might be better to see if anyone knew anything first," Caelus countered.
Mr. Yang nodded, "Have you consulted Himeko? She's a little bit closer to Dan Heng than I am, she might be able to offer more perspective on the situation."
March 7th nodded enthusiastically, "Thanks, Mr. Yang!"
He nodded, returning to staring at the expanse of stars just past his fingertips outside the glass windows of the express. "It's no problem, let me know if there's any serious updates on the situation."
As the two younger and less experienced nameless made their way towards Himeko's desk at the back of the express, March did her best to try and put together the pieces in her head. While it wasn't clear whether or not she was trying to start a dialogue with Caelus, the timeline went as such.
Dan Heng is revealed to be the Imbibitor Lunae while on the Xianzhou Alliance's ship.
He resolves the crisis with Phantylia resulting in the lifting of his banishment from the Xianzhou.
He sticks around on the Alliance to deal with matters relating to his past life's status as the High Elder of the Vidyadhara.
He makes a trip to Herta's Space Station for mysterious reasons that nobody knows.
He makes it back to the express, he locks himself in his room.
Before the two of them can realize the glaringly obvious hole in the timeline, they're stood in front of Himeko's desk. March, as always, is the one to officially start the questioning. "Himeko! Have you noticed anything weird about the way Dan Heng's been acting lately?"
After taking another drawn out sip of her coffee, she hummed... "I suppose I have, but he's also just come back from a place with what I can only assume is a lot of bad memories. I'm sure if he's given a little bit of space, he'll be back to the same old Dan Heng in no time."
March 7th pursed her lips, "I would agree with you if this wasn't so weird!" She crossed her arms, "He doesn't ever lock his door! Not when he's in a bad mood, not even when he's changing for crying out loud!"
Himeko nodded, bringing her mug back up to her lips silently. "I guess that is a little bit weird... do you two happen to have any idea what he's been up to lately?"
"Well, when we all boarded the Express again, he made a stop at the Herta Space Station. We could be looking at this all wrong." Caelus crossed his arms, "Maybe instead of something happening on the Xianzhou, something happened at the Space Station. He was there about a month ago and then again a few days ago. I think he stayed for around a week the first time."
The moment the words passed the newest addition to the astral express's lips, both women paused in their tracks.
"..."
"..."
Himeko was the first to break the silence, lowering her "lifeblood" back onto its coaster on her desk. "March, you don't think... do you?"
Immediately, after Himeko broke the silence, March 7th let a happy squeal and started waving her hands around, "Oh, my, aeons! Himeko, do you know what this means?!"
Caelus could only look between the two of them in complete and utter confusion. "Am I missing something?"
Before Himeko could answer any potential questions, March was already running back towards the archivist's locked door, yelling his name at the top of her lungs, "Dan Heng, you sly dog!"
Caelus could only look back at Himeko with a brow raised.
She cleared her throat, "Well, I guess now is a better time than never to find out."
"Find out?" He voice trailed up at the end, "Find out what?"
Himeko put her hands on her desk, "Well... Dan Heng, as you know, is not always the most approachable person." She drummed her nails on the desk, "But it happens even he isn't immune to his emotions."
The trailblazer paused, "So Dan Heng's acting like this cause he likes someone? And they work at the space station?"
Himeko nodded her head, gesturing towards the hallway. "I'd tell you more, but it seems March is pretty intent on getting those answers out of him for herself."
Caelus nodded, uncrossing his arms. "Well, can I ask you a question?"
Himeko nodded, turning back to her monitor and gripping her mug of coffee once again. "Sure, go ahead." She lifted it to her lips, taking in a long swig.
"Is it that one guy March started texting about Vidyadharas?"
Immediately, she let out a strangled noise into her drink.
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Were you even the same person?
"Arlan? Arlan!"
You snapped your fingers in front of his face, "Earth to Arlan? Hello?"
He shook his head back and forth, trying to snap out of the mini daze he was in. "I- Yeah, sorry. You're just... different, is all."
You raised your brow, looking down at your uniform. You pulled at your collar, "Did Miss Asta's suggestions really do all that much? I don't think I look too different."
Arlan's brows creased at a point on his forehead. "I guess they did, work-life balance looks good on you."
Instead of the barely alive looking researcher he constantly found himself hanging out with, it looked as if you were glowing in the fluorescent light of the cafeteria.
You nodded, "You know, I feel a lot better than I usually do." You paused, poking at your well-portioned and prepared meal in front of you, "Sometimes I still feel guilty about how little work I get done in comparison to when I didn't focus on the little things."
Arlan was quick to agree, "Yeah, I understand the feeling." He picked at his own food, eating a mouthful of the fried-rice Lady Asta loved so much. "Still, if you're looking better and feeling better, you're doing better all around."
For the first time since you set foot on the station, you'd taken the week off under the guidance of Lead Researcher Asta. She always scolded your ear off for working your fingers to brittle bone, but it seemed when you actually took her recommendations to heart, something in you fundamentally shifted.
Instead of skipping sleep to observe DNA strands for a few extra hours near midnight? You were turning in at a specified time every night and waking up at the appropriate hour the next morning. It was the first time you'd really grown accustomed to the sound of your phone alarm. Usually, you didn't sleep for 48 hours and then you would crash for 16.
Instead of getting so absorbed in your research you were forgetting to eat, you set aside the new found time taken away from research to make yourself a healthy, nutritious meal for each sitting of the day. You made yourself a breakfast that would warm up well in the morning, made yourself a hearty lunch to make sure you had enough energy to get through the day, and then a light dinner to make sure your digestive system wouldn't have to go into overdrive while you slept.
Originally, when you read up on self-care, you weren't all too sure you could make all the changes without some kind of drastic shift in your schedule immediately. But you were determined, you wouldn't let your social life pass you by any longer!
Instead of shying away from the challenge, you started small. You'd implement times in your routine where you would regularly stop and eat based on timers on your phone. You set an alarm for yourself to remind yourself it was time to stop working and go home.
Then, when you finally were ready to make the big leap, you consulted Asta and managed to get her to pull a few strings to get you some time off.
You took your week off to strengthen all of your healthy habits and kill off all the bad ones. You didn't have the opportunity to neglect yourself when it really was the only thing you could do. You started working out again to pass the time, you even got Arlan to drop Peppy off to keep you company when he was getting to be a handful around the station.
Arlan took a moment to thoroughly chew his food and swallow it, "As happy as I am that you're finally seeing the light, what exactly prompted all this change?"
You paused, seemingly chewing your own food slower in response. "Well, I want to start trying to make more friends."
He raised a brow, "I guess it's usually easier to make friends if you're taking care of yourself."
You nodded, "I mean, yeah, but I didn't really feel the need to look or feel better because I was really focused on my work and stuff like that." You averted your eyes, "You have to promise not to laugh at me if I tell you this."
Arlan could only feel himself getting more suspicious by the second, "Okay... I won't laugh at you. But why would I laugh at you?"
"I'm a little pathetic," you laughed, awkwardly at best. "I-". You paused again, taking a deep breath, "I don't know, I set up to meet with this guy in Aurum Alley on the Xianzhou Alliance ship and I didn't want him to have to walk around with someone that looked like a walking corpse. You and Asta always joke that I'm the walking dead and I-"
Arlan held up his hand, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's a lot to unpack to start off with." You blinked at him, snapping your jaw shut immediately. "Me and Asta only joke about that because you treat yourself like you want to be walking corpse. You hardly take care of yourself."
You nodded, swallowing a glob of spit.
"Second of all," he picked up another spoonful of rice, "Who are you meeting? Why do you think you need to change yourself to be good enough to just walk around someplace with him?"
You sighed, "That's the problem, I don't really know." You poked at your food with your fork, "He's just really cool. He's got a lot of friends and he has a really exciting life but he kind of just chooses to try and hang out with me. I don't really think I'm worth that much effort and yet he goes out of his way to try and look for me? It just feels like I'm letting him down if I don't put in the same kind of effort."
Arlan's face scrunched up, "Are you talking about Dan Heng?"
You tilted your head, "How did you know?"
"Well, he kind of follows you around like a lost puppy dog." He took another bite of his food, "He's not gonna care whether or not your eyebags are darker or if you're a little bit on the thinner side. He's already long decided he wants to be around you even at you worst."
You bit your lip, considering it for a moment. "I don't know what it is, but I feel like if anything goes wrong in Aurum Alley it's going to be life-ruining."
"What do you mean by that?" He frowned, "That... sounds really ominous."
You held your head in your free hand, "I don't know, I just feel like if he thinks I'm weird or disgusting or anything like that I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
"Hey, let's back it up." Arlan set his spoon down on the table, "It's just a meet-up with a guy, nothing's going to happen if your date fails. If you have an awful date, there's always going to be the chance to make it up the next time. Besides, as long as you two are good spirited about it, there's no such thing as a bad date unless he like... I don't know, poisons you or something."
You chewed on the inside of your cheek, thinking it over.
For the first time during the entire conversation, you looked him directly in the eyes.
"...I just feel like letting go after getting in this close isn't an option anymore."
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"March? Caelus?"
Said girl nervously laughed, shrinking behind the newspaper she was trying to hide her face in.  “Uh oh…”
Next to her, Caelus shook his head, “Busted.” 
Dan Heng stood, a little bit behind you, huffing through his nose.  While he didn’t say anything momentarily, the nature of his expression indicated he was more than just cross with the other nameless tag-alongs.  “What are the both of you doing in Aurum Alley?  I thought you both said you were busy today.” 
March quickly went to defend herself, folding the rather large newspaper shut.  “We are busy! We… just happen to be busy here!” 
Next to her, Caelus nodded his head intently.  
His arms across his chest, the tail trailing from his lower back smacked against the ground in an annoyed fashion.  He tapped his finger on his forearm a couple times, “What exactly are the two of you busy with?  This is the one day I told the both of you I would be visiting the Xianzhou Alliance.”
While nobody outright accused each other of anything, the implication was clear.  March 7th and Caelus were here because they knew Dan Heng would be on a date.  They were only here because they knew he would be on a date.  Instead of just checking in on him, they took it upon themselves to follow their fellow passenger and his unfortunate partner around.   With all the tension that started to blot the air like little rain clouds, you took it upon yourself to try and cut through it.  “Aren’t you in charge of commerce in Aurum Alley?  I heard from one of my coworkers that his wife has started ordering from the Food Stand here.” 
Automatically picking up on your out, Caelus nodded, “I was, but I handed it off to the Commerce Guild’s acting president.  She, uh-”  He sputtered over his words, “She asked for some help packing up a few Starskiffs and March didn’t have anything to do today, so… she tagged along?” 
You nodded, a little bit shyly, “Speaking of which, have you tried any of the food from the stand?  I’ve heard they recently upgraded their entertainment, but I haven’t heard much about the food quality.” 
March excitedly added in her two cents, “Oh! Me and Caelus were about to head that way!  He said that the Tall Auntie running the place usually has some freebies for him since he helped the store set-up their take-out ordering system!” 
Your eyes glinted excitedly, “Really?  I didn’t hear about that part.”  You clasped your hands together, “You really live up to all the rumors I hear on the station.  Didn’t you also set up the marketing campaign with the current High Elder of the Vidyadhara?”
Before he could answer, Dan Heng waved the pair off with a hand. “I’m sure we can continue this conversation some time later.  They said they were busy, we wouldn’t want to make them late to anything.” 
March was quick to interject, “Actually! We’re going on a lunch break real quick!”  She turned to Caelus, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Right?”
He nodded again, “We should all go to Tall Aunty’s Food Stand.” 
You opened your mouth to voice your agreement before your companion cut in, “No need, we planned on grabbing lunch later.” 
You looked at him, blinking a couple times.  Before you could say anything, March was already up in arms.  “It wouldn’t hurt you guys to move up your lunch plans, besides, this is our only lunch break until we have to go back to work!”
Instead of confirming or denying March’s statement, the trailblazer stood back and simply listened to the argument.  You chose to do the same.  
Dan Heng, on the other hand, let more displeasure drip into his expression.  “We didn’t plan on running into each other while we were out, your plans and our plans happen to be different.  We can arrange another time for the four of us to get lunch at the food stall.”
March put her hands on her hips, “Well, you guys are just hanging out, right?  It couldn’t hurt to just push back those plans to roam so you can spare some time to talk with friends.”  When she didn’t get any response from Dan Heng, she clasped her hands together in front of her chest, “Please?  Pretty please?  It’s been so long since all of us have seen each other!” 
“Hmph.” 
The person you’d originally come to Aurum Alley with was unmoved by her earnest plea, but you were somewhat swayed.  Your face twisted in sympathy.  “...Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just go out to lunch with them this once.  Aurum Alley will still be here when we get done eating, I haven’t had the time to meet up with March lately or even get to know Caelus.  It might be good for me to make more friends.” 
He opened his mouth to protest, but he was cut off by March.  She threw her arm over your shoulder, “See? He gets it!” 
You curled in on yourself from the sudden change in position, leaning to the side a bit so she could actually hook her forearm around your biceps. Caelus finally decided now would be the best time to contribute to the conversation, “I don’t think I’ve talked to [name] before, I’ve been curious about their work since Lady Asta, Herta, and Arlan seem to hold him in high regard as a researcher.” 
You shook your head, putting your hands up.  You were a little scrunched in the position, “Oh, please don’t misunderstand, I’m really nothing all that special.” 
March shook her head, “Nonsense, you’re one of the best at the Space Station!  I heard you used to help a lot of interns before you started focusing on Genealogy!” 
You crumpled in on yourself, “Well, that’s usually the usual career path for researchers at the station in general.  Before we find our specialized area of research, you generalize and if anyone asks you to train them, you train them.”  Scratching your chin nervously, “Besides, I’ve kind of put work on the back burner in favor of trying to take better care of myself.” 
“Oh! I’d been meaning to ask about that, your skin is glowing!” March added,  “I remember Asta always used to call you some kind of zombie whenever you came up in conversation.” 
Caelus tilted his head to the side, “Really?” 
Your cheeks turned a soft shade of pink, “Yeah, everyone says I look really different now.  I usually get a lot more comments about how there’s more color in my skin or something along those lines.”
The conversation went on for a little longer before Dan Heng sighed, he pressed a couple of his fingers to his temple.  “I-” He closed his mouth, pinching the skin of his lip between his upper and lower set of teeth.  “-I guess getting lunch together wouldn’t change our plans all that much.”
“Yes!” March threw a fist into the air, ecstatic at the sudden change in plans.  She pointed a thumb over at the trailblazer, leaning in to talk behind her other hand.  “Caelus has been wanting to meet you, Dan Heng mentions you a lot on the express.” 
You felt your cheeks smolder at the suggestion, “He… does?” 
Dan Heng cleared his throat, his own cheeks dusted a matching scarlet, “We should get going, we don’t want to get caught up in the middle of the lunch rush.” 
March gave a cheeky smile, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Dan Heng.” 
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"I'm not exactly sure what you mean by... a 'surprise'."
“A surprise is just something you don’t know about,”   Caelus answered, rather monotone.  
Dan Heng grimaced ever so slightly, “If that’s the case, can I be sure I want to be privy to this...surprise then?”
March 7th punched her gray-haired raccoon-in-crime in the shoulder.  She shot him a stern look, as stern as she could look with her cutesy exterior.  Turning her attention back to the man they were trying to convince to head out to the lobby of the Express, she did her best to plead her case, “You’ve been holed up in your room since last week!  We just wanted to give you a little gift that might cheer you up a bit.” 
He raised a brow quizzically, arms still crossed over his chest.  “Can you guarantee this is a gift I’ll like?  Or is it going to be something like being invited to you and Himeko’s girls’ night again.” 
Caelus’s head snapped to March.  
Said passenger cleared her throat, “This is something you’ll like-”  She put a hand on her heart, the other balling into a fist resting on her hip,  “I swear it on all my honor!” 
Dan Heng looked over them again, gaze swapping between the two incredulously.  In the meantime, both of them were sweating bullets.  They didn’t know how long they had before “the surprise” would arrive at the station.   After a drawn out pause, however, he shook his head, “Fine, but if it’s anything like your previous gifts, this is the last time I trust you.” 
Marched pumped a fist into the air with a loud cheer, Caelus, on the other hand, put both hands on Dan Heng’s shoulders.  He flipped his fellow trailblazer around to face towards the door to his room, all but pushing him.  March followed after him excitedly.  The one thought running through the guy usually dragged into all their shenanigans was an inner turmoil sparked by the dread swirling through his cranium.  
The short walk to the door dividing the lobby and the residential areas of the train was punctuated by Caelus hurriedly covering his eyes.  As such, said swirling dread started to elevate into alarm bells sweeping through his nervous system as well.  This wasn’t a simple invite to an event or anything of the sort, it was tangible and you could see it. 
“Is covering my eyes necessary?” 
March confirmed this from behind him, “Yes, absolutely necessary!” 
As the door to the lobby swung open when they got close enough, he could hear faint chatter from Pom-Pom, Welt, and Himeko through the door.  The alarm bells dotting his body seemed to blare all the louder and cast off more red light when the talks quieted down immediately. 
His hands balled up into fists at his side, flexing and unflexing as a result of his nerves.  Before he could ask any more questions, the hands that were covering his eyes suddenly were retracted.  
He blinked a few times, trying to figure out what exactly he was seeing.  Okay so, the first elephant in the room.  You were in the middle of the parlor car, in your street clothing rather than your uniform.  One hand wrapped its fingers around the handle of a rolling suitcase.  Your other arm was hanging limp at your side and your posture sort of crumpled in on itself.  Even when you spoke, your voice was just a smidge shaky.  "Surprise?"
Even though he hadn’t meant to be aggressive in the slightest, his voice was a little bit sharp when he questioned, “What are you doing here?”
In response, your own voice seemed to get stuck in your throat filter, “Well, I-” You started, making a circular motion with your free hand, “I thought it might be time for me to make some changes in life and I got an invitation from the astral express…”  the sentence trailed off afterwards.  
“So you’re saying…” 
You shrugged, “I just thought it’d be rude since the astral express doesn’t ever really invite anyone to become a passenger and I was already a little bit bored on the Space Station-”  You coughed into a fist, “Himeko was the one who reached out originally, stating there was a gap in the Express’s skill set.  She said that since I was already a friend, the train would be happy to have me.”  
Dan Heng waited for you to continue, but when you didn’t he added in his own little stamp of input.  “When you said you were moving, you meant you were going to be… joining the express?”
Your hand finally left your suitcase, held up defensively alongside your free hand, “Well, March told me it’d be best to keep it a secret!”  You nervously averted eye contact, “When I asked Lady Asta whether or not it'd be okay, she agreed it’d be a harmless little prank.”  
Mr. Yang hummed thoughtfully, “It seems only you and I were kept in the dark.  I only learned there would be a new addition to the crew yesterday.” 
Himeko chortled next to him, crossing her legs in her seat, “Well, I guess it slipped my mind.” 
You took a deep breath, “I was getting pretty tired of the same wake up, research all day, eat a few times, and then go back to bed.  I was always a little bit jealous of all the stories you’d tell from your trailblazing expeditions as one of the nameless because I’ve only ever known my home planet and the Station.”  You motioned to the navigator of the Astral Express, “Himeko said that there would always going to be new things you all haven’t encountered before, it would be useful to have someone learned in technology that could dissect any new contraptions we came across.”  You sighed, “I might’ve jumped the gun a little bit, but can you blame me?” 
When you gave him the chance to speak, he immediately asked about the only real concern he had, “But... your research, you always talked about how important it was to you.” 
You nodded, “Oh, don’t get me wrong, it's more important to me than life itself. That's why I didn't quit my job, Arlan and Asta pleaded my case to Herta and I’m transitioning to remote work.”  You kicked at the air with one foot, “It also helps that Lady Herta has been interested in expanding her areas of research so she can implement new things into the Simulated Universe.” 
Dan Heng took a second to mull it over, “So you’re going to move onto the express, for good?” 
You nodded excitedly, grabbing the handle of your luggage again.
“Yes, I’m becoming one of the nameless.”
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"You asked to see me?"
Arlan glanced up from where he was sitting at his desk.   Setting down the tablet he was reading a new report on, he pushed it to the side.  “Sorry, I didn’t expect you to be here so soon.”   He gestured to the seat in front of him, “Please, have a seat.  I just had a couple things I wanted to talk about.” 
The archivist nodded, pulling the chair out so he could properly settle in.  “Of course.”   Upon seating himself and getting comfortable, he broke the silence again, “What is it that you wanted to discuss?” 
The head security officer bit at the inside of his cheek, trying to find the most sensitive way to broach the topic.  He tapped his finger on the desk, before deciding to rip off the band-aid pretty quickly, “Have you noticed any changes in [name] as of late?” 
Dan Heng blinked a couple times.  “Not particularly, did you?” 
“Well,” He swallowed, “I’m just a little worried about him.  I don’t know how he’s been doing since he left for the express, but before he left he said some concerning things.  I couldn’t tell if he meant them or not.” 
In response, Dan Heng tried not to pry too hard.  However, since it did concern you, he felt it also concerned him.  “What kinds of things did he say?” 
Arlan paused again, trying to really think things over before making an even bigger deal out of them, “I don’t know if you can call them weird on their own, but he just doesn’t… say things like that ever.  It’s out of character for him and I’m afraid it’ll get worse now that me and Lady Asta won’t be there to keep him in check.” 
“I can’t exactly help if I don’t know what he said,” Dan Heng reasoned, “The only real change I noticed was his relationship with his work.  Since he’s been on the express, he’s been working a lot more.  Aside from that, he seems to enjoy setting aside time to run around with March and Caelus.  I find I have a lot more time alone because it seems they’ve started alternating between the two of us to rope into their schemes.” 
Arlan nodded, “I guess that makes me feel a little bit better.”  
The other man nodded back at him in response, “Still, what did he say that had you concerned?  As one of his friends, I feel obligated to make sure he’s alright.” 
“Well, I feel a little bit awkward saying it since it was originally about you.”  To this, Arlan drummed his fingers on his desk, “It started a couple days before the two of you went out for the first time to Aurum Alley.  He started talking about how he felt he wasn’t cool enough to be around you, that he needed to change somehow so he wouldn’t embarrass you.” 
Dan Heng nodded, keeping his mouth shut. 
The security officer’s frown deepened, “But it just got worse from there.  I don’t want to scare you or anything, but he’s… weird about you-really weird.”  
“...about me specifically?” Dan Heng’s head cautiously leaned to the side.  
Arlan bobbed his head up and down quickly, “Yeah, just you.”  He let his hands go limp on the table, “He’s been doing really good otherwise.  It’s just like he took all his unhealthy habits and converted them into these weird thoughts and ideas about you.”  He raised one of his hands to count out each of the changes on his fingers, “He’s started eating healthy, eating regularly, working out again, he actually sleeps on time, and he’s making friends, arguably he’s doing better than he has for a long time.”  He leaned his face on his other hand, “But then he’ll start talking about you and it’s like a demon’s hiding under his tongue.” 
The astral express passenger pursed his lips, trying to hide the audible drumming of his heart in his ears.  “Well, what kinds of things does he say?” 
Arlan paused, chewing on his lip, “He talks about you like this kind of unattainable goal.”  He shifted to rest both his forearms on the table.  “There’s just this weird far off look in his eyes and I can tell he’s only saying half the stuff on his mind.  All these half-baked thoughts about how he doesn’t deserve to hang out with you, muttering about ways he can change himself to be more ‘worthy’ of your time or whatever.  It’s scaring me.” 
“...” 
“...I don’t know.”  Arlan sighed, “I want to be happy for how much progress he’s making but he isn’t making it for himself.” 
“...he really said all those things about me?”
Arlan seemed a little taken aback, “Uh, yeah… he did.”  
He swallowed a glob of spit down his throat, “And you’re saying all these changes for the better have been because he wants to impress me?” 
Arlan took a moment to think before responding.  Slowly, he nodded his head, “Yeah… it’s why I asked if you noticed any changes.  He talks about you a lot and you guys seem to be hanging out more than ever.” 
“That’s… a little bit concerning.” 
Arlan didn’t answer back immediately.  He could feel something was a little bit… off.  “Yeah, that’s… kind of why I wanted to bring it up to you.” 
Upon hearing the suspicion in the other man’s tone, Dan Heng did his best to try and clear the air, “Sorry, it’s… just a lot to take in at once.  I didn’t expect that was what you wanted to talk about.” 
Trying to shake off the unease, the head security officer shrugged, “I could only really imagine.”  He sighed, “My main concern is whether or not he’s acting weird on the express.  I tried to write it off as him being excited to make a new friend early-on, since I knew he only really had Lady Asta when he arrived on the Space Station.  When he started making a lot more friends and he was still acting weird about you, I didn’t really have an excuse for him anymore.” 
Dan Heng nodded, “I don’t really think you have to worry anymore.” 
Arlan tried to ignore his stomach dropping through the floor. “...Oh.” 
Dan Heng nodded, “I mean to say, he can’t hold me on a pedestal anymore because we are both nameless.  He doesn’t have anything to look up to when we are both on equal footing.” 
Your former best friend tried to agree, he really wanted to.  He wanted to believe that Dan Heng was just innocently naive about the nature of your words and actions, but the archivist wasn’t stupid.  He should’ve obviously known something was wrong.  “...I guess I can see where you’re coming from. But can I just ask one thing of you?”
Arlan was right to be suspicious, because Dan Heng was only really telling a half-truth.  As selfish as it sounded, the nameless was more than happy for this sudden change in circumstance.  
The archivist hummed, "Of course."
"Be careful." Arlan paused before continuing, "I know you might think you'd be able to handle it if he gets out of control, but he's a lot stronger than he looks. He's been working out too and I'm scared he might... end up becoming dangerous."
Instead of further pushing the conversation, the express passenger acknowledged his worry. "I can see where you're coming from. But, I feel that he's starting to mellow out. He's not just spending time hanging around me or anyone on the express in particular. I promise that you don't need to keep worrying about him."
Even as he tried to convince Arlan that his intentions for encouraging him to trust in the express were pure, he knew that he was only making excuses. If the head security officer chose to peel back just a couple more of the layers to his act, he would find the man's true thoughts.
‘You don’t need to worry about him, because feeling like that is normal, isn’t it? I feel the same way.’
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"Oh, the group already headed out for the Festival. Did you plan on telling them something before they left?"
You stood near Himeko’s coffee maker, cradling one of the many mugs you’d brought with you to the express. Judging by the steam wafting off the top of the coffee, you’d just freshly brewed yourself a drink and were getting ready to retreat back into your hastily thrown together room to continue working on some kind of research project.
Dan Heng, on the other hand, hadn’t been doing anything in particular before the conversation. Fresh out of his room, he'd opted to leave his heavy coat hung up. “No, not in particular.”
You tilted your head, eyes still focusing on your hot beverage, “Alright, is there any particular reason why you asked if they were gone yet?”
“Well, the two of us are alone on the entire express. The residential compartment is completely cleared out…”. He trailed off his sentence, crossing his arms across his chest.
You raised your brow curiously, setting your drink down on the counter to go about swapping the coffee filter. “Yeah…? I guess we are.”
Dan Heng chewed on the inside of his cheek, “Well, if we were going to do anything that might necessitate being alone, now would be the best time since everyone else is at the Charmony Festival.”
Your cheeks flushed pink, “I guess, but I can't really think of anything that the two of us would do, that is unless you’re going into another heat?” You murmured to nobody in particular, “Most reptilian species only have a mating period during a certain season though.”
“Do you…” he paused, considering his words carefully, “Do you think that would be the only time I'd be interested in doing something like that?”
You could feel a tingly warmth creep up your neck, “W-Well,” you dropped the used filter in the trash can. “That was the last time we did anything like that and I just thought, y’know…”
Dan Heng’s lips pulled into a tight line, “If I wasn't going into heat? If I just wanted to sleep together?”
You faced away from him, rummaging through the cabinets for the coffee grounds. “I-” You fumbled with the satchel, grasping a new filter with your other hand,
“I wouldn't say no…?”
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"Ahn~ Right there, right there, right thererightthere-"
His fingers dug into the spots of your headboard right next to your skull, chest pushed forward and hips angled backward to form a beautifully lewd arch.
You gave another pointed jolt of your hips, positively radiant when Dan Heng exploded into shudders of ecstasy. Thighs shaking, he did his best to try and encourage them to lift a little. When he reached as high as he knew he could get, he dropped his hips back down onto yours rather unceremoniously with a pornographic mewl.
Despite the drool leaking down his chin, you leaned in to give him a peck on the lips. The moment your mouth was on his, it seemed almost like a silent invitation. Even with the lack of any real stimulation, he hands transferred from the cracked and scarred wood to your shoulders. He groaned into your mouth tracing his left hand’s pointer finger over your exposed collarbone.
Even with the building fatigue burning through his lower half, he did his best to pick himself up again. Your hands slithered from squeezing his love handles to gripping the curve of his ass. Supporting his hips, your arm strength added to the diminishing strength in his legs, dragging his insides up your length before slamming him back down to meet your pelvis forcefully.
“Oh~” he let out an airy moan, expertly swiping his finger along the dip in your skin from your collarbone up to the side of the neck. Instead of focusing on further chasing his release again, he leaned down to plant a sloppy, wet kiss on the side of your neck just underneath where the pads of his fingers rested on your pulse point.
You squirmed from the foreign sensation of the drool trailing down the sensitive skin, unexpectedly squeezing his ass in response. He smiled against your neck, shameless while he trailed a forked tongue over the artery hidden beneath your skin.
You weren't used to the sudden spark of confidence, shying away from his excessive touch with a quiet, nervous embarrassment. Your hands trailed back towards his waistline, pulling him up by the tempting dip in his figure, only to slam him back down again. When you were rewarded with a breathless, blissed call of your name, you didn't hesitate to do it again.
Before long, it seemed the two of you didn't have any thoughts running through your head but the desires of the flesh.
Firmly planting your feet on the mattress, the two of you seemed to get lost in the sudden plowing of your cock even deeper into his ass. The combined force of his weight, gravity, and your own aggressive rhythm contributing to the growing bulge of your tip just below the center of his abs, you felt lost to the sensations. Even in your sex-drunk haze, you didn't fail to realize the heightened nature of his vocals, it seemed his voice box was all but tearing itself apart with each of the punched out shrieks he pushed out right into your ear.
Even stranger, instead of moving his hips in tandem with yours, he seemed extremely fixated on the specific, certain spot of your neck he’d laid claim to just a few short moments earlier. With each drawn out groan forced out of his mouth, he lavished his affections on the same spot. Kissing the same point over and over in a silent worship.
The tips of your ears burning a stark red vermillion, you let a shaky roll of your hips smack into his insides especially sharp, “Shihittt~” In your attempt to combat the sensation, your face burned a deeper crimson when he moaned directly into your ear.
Even after a particularly harsh thrust, it seemed he was still dead set on focusing on that one specific point on your neck. With all the kisses suctioned to that specific square of flesh, the skin bruised a shy pink hue, and it only seemed to further encourage him.
In response, you gripped one of the horns on the crown of his head to finally get him to put his lips elsewhere. Peppering shy, messy, saliva-soaked kisses to an eager and hungry mouth you could feel your pace speed up as you crept up higher and higher towards your peak. His face contorted in the shape of each electric current of ecstasy wrapping itself like a cord up his spinal column. Even if he wanted to let out more pathetic whimpers and sobs, he couldn't find the strength to pull away from equally addictive kisses.
Shyly, you pried open his lips with your tongue. He reciprocated with a tantalizing whine, further welcoming you into his mouth. Without any delay, you dragged your tongue over the roof of his mouth, swirling your spit with his right on top of his Jacobson organ.
He shook in blissed out euphoria, brain flashing a blinding white before he pulled away from the kiss specifically to shriek your name. Pushing his chest up against yours, his arms bent awkwardly from where they were positioned on your upper body. Again he dipped his head into the crook of your neck, nipping at the same patch of wet, pinkening skin with the tips of his fangs.
You grunted, only further confused as he moved from just barely scraping fangs over your jugular to starting to suck a hickey into the raw redness.
In the haze of sex, the overloading of the nerves in just one spot only seemed to further stack on top of eachother in a salacious torture. It felt so good, it was starting to burn. Instead of trying to coax him off the spot, the flexing and twitching of his own neck muscles only seemed to become more and more inviting.
Ultimately, you tried licking a stripe up the same artery in Dan Heng's neck, rewarded with a delicious squeak. His teeth caught on your skin, only further amplifying the dizzying haze and spin that seemed to capture the rest of the world.
A few short seconds later, he pulled his mouth off your neck just a few sparingly merciful breaths away, “Clohhsseeee, cuhlossseee-” He seized up in another mewl, lower back arching to push himself even closer to your pelvis. “Plehease~ Can I, can I, can I-” With another press of the tip of your dick straight into his prostate, he threw his head back with a scream. Still, determined for some kind of permission, he opened his mouth to keep babbling impossibly loud, “can I, can I, canicanican-”
Eyes shut as you sped up to chase your own orgasm, you finally nodded your head in the crook of his neck. “Yes, yes, yes-”
He keened at the go ahead, once again rushing to bury his nose against the abused, purpled, and irritated skin on the side of your neck. Instead of continuing to suck more and more hickies into the canvas laid before him, he opened his mouth wide before injecting his extremely long, needle-like fangs deep into the side of your neck, just barely missing one of the most crucial arteries in your body. The taste of your blood hitting his tongue caused another loud squeal to spill from his lips before he got impossibly tighter and creamed all over both of your stomachs.
You seized up, hips stuttering from the sudden all-consuming pain stemming from your injury before unloading into his awaiting body. In your shock, you couldn't even think about how to ask him what just happened. Even then, you weren't sure you wanted to know.
As the two of you laid there, sweaty and spent, he continued to nurse the wound with the gentle ticklish touch of his forked tongue. Two large, heavily bleeding openings in your neck, he nuzzled up against like they were all he had left.
What your knowledge failed to encompass, Dan Heng’s instincts didn't fail to fawn over. Something the two of you hadn't covered in your research were the mating rituals of the Vidyadhara. Three things were of specific relevance.
One, Vidyadharas mate for life, and the span of multiple lives should time and memory allow it.
Two, mating must be done with permission.
Three, mating is officiated with a mark in a visible area, popularly the neck.
He ran his fingers over the dripping red pouring from the side of your neck. A happy trill resounded from the back of his throat as he lapped it up with his tongue again, drinking in the groan of discomfort and the explosive shivers that wracked your body.
...
...Perhaps it would also be important to mention, mating marks were permanent.
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There's a note on the side of the phone booth, read it?
" every time I say I'm going to update the same day, I end up either procrastinating or rewriting the same scene 7 times because I can't figure out what I want to happen specifically "
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THIS IS A REPOSTED WORK FROM MY ORIGINAL ACCOUNT BEFORE IT CRAPPED AND DIED ON ME
I USED TO BE FOUND AT @steadybear
I FEAR YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH SEEING @bigtedbear INSTEAD FROM NOW ON
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khaire-traveler · 1 year ago
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Random Greek Deity Facts
- Artemis has been associated with horses in the past.
- Ares has associations with owls.
- There are ancient gravestones with reliefs on them that historians still cannot tell if the art is of Dionysus or Jesus.
- It is common for historians to struggle identifying if a statue is of Artemis or Apollo because they often look so much alike.
- Hephaestus is a god of fire.
- Maia, the Mother of Hermes, was thought to assist in raising both Dionysus and Hephaestus.
- Hypnos is said to live in a massive cave, sleeping with thousands of his sons.
- Rather than blood, Greek gods are said to have something called Ichor running through their veins; no one is quite sure what "Ichor" actually is.
- Both Apollo and Artemis are deities of light; it is not just Apollo. Along with this, it is believed Leto may also be a goddess of light.
- It is commonly believed that the hyacinth flower is not actually the flower Hyacinthus was infamously transformed into; most sources seem to agree that it was likely either an iris or a larkspur.
- At one point in the Dionysiaca, Dionysus wages a war against India. The goddess Rhea is said to have gathered troops for him, and Zeus was said to have been the one to task Dionysus with going to war in order to allow him to join the gods on Mount Olympus.
- Demeter's chariot is pulled by two giant winged serpents; she has literal dragons pulling her around, and no one is talking about it.
- The Python was a child of Gaia, and before Apollo took up the Oracle in Delphi, there was actually an Oracle with Gaia in that location.
- The twins Castor and Pollux, who made up the Gemini constellation, were commonly worshipped throughout ancient Greece under the title of the "Dioscuri" or "Dioskouroi".
- Also regarding the Dioskouroi, the name "Castor" ("Kastor") may translate to "Beaver".
- The famous epithet "Paean" of Apollo was also listed on an ancient Mycenaean tablet that listed the names of separate deities. It is, therefore, possible that Paean was once a separate god who later became associated/merged with both Apollo and his son Ascelpius.
- Besides being an epithet, a Paean was also a type of devotional chant/song that was sung in honor of Apollo. Some ancient sources claim that the event of singing a Paean could actually be quite loud, involving clouds of stomping/banging and movement.
- The masculine version of Hekate's name, "Hekatos", was an epithet for the god Apollo; both names can be translated to "worker from afar".
- The first record of the more "traditional" view of a werewolf comes from the Greek myth about King Lycaon, when Zeus transformed into a wolf for ten years as punishment for tricking the gods into consuming human flesh (yes, you read that right).
- In the myths, Zeus and Hermes have a lovely Father-Son bonding trip of destroying an entire village (except for one home) for not showing either of the disguised gods hospitality as poor travellers.
- Both Apollo and Zeus were seen as gods who purified "blood-guilt" - a condition which was caused by the killing of another person and required immense purification.
- Cerberus is described as a fully sentient being who can communicate as other immensely powerful children of Gaia could, meaning he is akin to the gods in terms of intelligence rather than being like an overgrown dog.
- Hermes is said to be the inventor of offerings, specifically animal sacrifices.
- One origin of the Pegasus was Poseidon and Medusa doing the devil's tango.
- There is a tale that claims Hermes to be the one who granted Aesop his knowledge of fables.
- According to some ancient sources, Cerberus has as many as fifty heads, a mane of snakes, the claws of a lion, and a snake tail.
- Iris was not only the goddess of rainbows but was also the personal messenger of Hera and was prominently featured in The Iliad delivering many messages on behalf of the Olympian gods.
- Eros has been depicted as the child of Aphrodite and Ares, the child of Ouranos and Aphrodite, the child of solely Aphrodite, the child of Poros and Penia, the child of Ouranos and Gaia, the child of Zephyrus and Iris, and a primordial being who simply came into being. So, where did Eros actually come from? Your guess is as good as any.
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That's all for now! Let me know if y'all enjoyed these and would like more. 🧡
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|| Sources ||
- Theoi.com (of course)
- The Iliad by Homer
- Theogony by Hesiod
- The Dionysiaca by Nonnus
- Information from various museum trips in Athens and Delphi, Greece (sorry, I don't remember the exact sources 💀)
1K notes · View notes
strafepanzer · 8 months ago
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shoot your shot
k.bakugo | collab intro + m.list
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▸ ▸ ▸ warnings: 18+! prohero!bakugo, unprotected sex, creampie, squirting, alcohol, dubcon if you really squint
▸ ▸ ▸ wc: idk dude sorry
▸ ▸ ▸ a/n: hbd king! make sure to check out the other writers on the m.list and enjoy!!!
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Among the thousands of replies, your pfp caught his eye.
anyone will do, huh?
Bakugo reads over the words a few times. Sure, his alcohol-induced thirst trap selfie was… out of character, but this from you?
Surely, it's an impossibility. He rubs his eyes and falls back into the black, plush leather of his couch, clicking your profile and scrolling through it. You're the quiet girl with the nice tits from insurance, the only person at the agency that he has anything remotely akin to a crush on.
You were there tonight in electric orange and black, stuffed into a booth with the other agency girls; your group sporadically sent him drinks-- those damn daiquiris-- and judging from the laughter pouring out of your booth, you all enjoyed watching him down them.
The one and only Dynamight downing bitch drinks? Hilarious, apparently.
The night got hazy, but he vaguely remembers getting you one-on-one at some point, remembers flashes of your smile, runs of your laughter, and your birthstone pendant hanging on a gold chain just below your collar bone.
Your delicate fingers on his forearm.
His teeth grind together, nostrils flaring as he reads over your words again, fingers flexing before he gropes his bulge. Your voice, seemingly teasing, rings through his brain melodically, but no matter how hard he closes his eyes, he can't remember the interaction.
What did you two talk about? Were you flirting with him? Fuck, did he miss his chance? If he concentrates, he can see the shimmer of your lipgloss reflecting the neon lights in that shitty bar, but everything else is radio silence.
A ding, then a notification flags across the top of his screen: 1 Photo Attached. He taps it and bites his bottom lip.
You're smiling at the camera, winking and throwing up a peace sign in front of expensive looking double doors. Familliar double doors. He recognises the gold embellishments and black glass tinted so dark, its impossible to see through from the outside.
A selfie in front of his apartment building.
Another sound and,
Typing…
Typing…
Typing…
Appears in the chat. He feels stupid just waiting, but if you're really coming onto him, he needs to not scare you away.
gonna buzz me up, mr hero?
He's on his feet at an almost embarrassing speed, unlocking the front door and sending you his floor and room number in the chat.
Then, he paces, pours himself a glass of water, and waits.
Your knock is faint, and he wonders if you've sobered up some, briefly hesitating at the doorknob. He looks through his spyhole and sees you looking this way and that, shifting nervously and fiddling with your hair.
He tugs the door open and leans against it, eyes staring you down. You blink and take a short breath, eyes scanning his naked torso, briefs, muscular thighs--
He clears his throat. "You look nervous."
Your eyes on his leave him a little starstruck. Sure, youre pretty to admire from afar, but up close? He's stupid for getting wasted and forgetting what he said to you.
"Liquid courage has thoroughly worn off." You agree with a nod and a nervous yet dazzling smile.
Fuck, he's so done for.
"Just to be clear, you hit me up." Bakugo says, opening the door and giving you space to enter. "I'm not holding you here against your will."
"What? No, yeah, I totally take the blame on this, one million percent." You agree, stepping into his apartment. He watches your ass in that tight dress as you walk past him, savours the scent of your perfumed skin while you're in his vicinity. "I just thought-- oh my gods," you turn to face him, embarrassed. "This is ridiculous, isn't it? I thought you were like... sending me signals at the bar."
He probably was, but he cant fucking remember.
He gestures for you to follow him into the living room. "I was wasted."
"You grabbed my ass and called me sexy." You laugh, kicking off your heels before stepping onto his carpet.
"Fat fuckin chance, sugar tits." He grumbles, embarrassed by his drunken antics, but then you're grabbing his hand and tugging him back half a step. Before he can even gasp, your lips are on his, your hands pulling him down to you, your tongue running along his lips.
"Yeah, you called me that, too." You breathe, nose to nose as you stare into his eyes.
His hands finally find your waist. "I didn't think you'd be this forward."
"This is how forward you were with me at the bar." You frown then, head tilting to the side. "You honestly don't remember? Now I feel like a predator."
He laughs, then, something full bodied and joyous. "Trust me, sweetheart, you're the prey here."
All logical thinking flies out the window the moment his lips meet yours again. Your bag drops to the floor as he devours you, hands bunching up that little orange dress at your waist and lifting you to wrap your legs over his hips.
You moan when he grinds his length up against you. "Oh my god, are we doing this?" You ask, his mouth assaulting your neck, littering it with kisses and nips as he walks you to his bedroom.
"It's my birthday," he rasps, revelling in the taste of you, the feel of you. It's one thing coveting something, but it's another to finally have it in your hands.
"Happy Birthday, Katsuki." You kiss him on the top of his head, wrapping your arms a little tighter around his neck.
"Being cute isn't gonna make me go any easier on you." He promises, dropping you onto his bed. You just laugh and pull your dress over your head, reaching behind your back to unclasp your bra.
"I came prepared to go down on you, but this kinda feels like you want a little more from me." You admit as he tugs off his briefs and covers you with his body.
"What gave you that idea?" He grins, palming your tits and dragging those battle worn hands down your soft torso to rest at your hips. "You sure you're okay with this?"
"What? Yes." You breathe, reaching down to ghost your fingers over his throbbing cock. He hisses before you grip it properly, with purpose, and begin pumping him slowly with your bottom lip between your teeth.
"Fuck," he curses softly, making light work of your panties and kissing you, bucking instinctually up into your hands. "I need to be inside you," he demands huskily, biting down on your lip and looking into your eyes for permission.
"Y-yeah, I want it," you nod feverishly as his fingers test your wet heat, rubbing and probing before sliding in.
"Shit," he huffs as you throw your head back, his fingers exploring you and stretching you out. "Fuck, I can't wait, are you good to go?"
"Stop talking and fuck me, Katsuki," you moan, laying there with your chest heaving and lipstick smudged.
His hands grope your thighs, pushing them up and opening yourself to him. With a curse at the tip of his tongue and his teeth in his bottom lip, he lines himself up and pushes forward.
"Oh--" you moan, before your hand slaps over your mouth.
Bakugo let's you silence yourself while he adjusts to the toe tingling feeling of being inside you. It's heavenly, but it feels like sinning. He pulls back a little before pushing forward, notices your free hand fisting his scarlet sheets beside your head.
After a few more testing thrusts and he stills inside you, his body covers yours, those big, calloused hands drawing up your forearms to interlock your fingers beside your head.
"I wanna hear you cry while I ruin you, pretty girl. You okay with that?" He asks lowly, voice almost a growl.
"Fuck, oh fuck, Katsuki it's so big," you babble, bordering incoherent already.
A feral grin grows on his face. He's gonna fuck you stupid.
"It's okay, baby, you can take it, I know you can," he mumbles condescendingly, kissing your nose gently, then your lips. "As a present, for my birthday."
He can't wait any longer, hips rocking into you, shallowly grinding, searching for that spot deep inside you that makes you moan. You're already gasping, eyes watering as your mouth hangs open, fingers flexing in his grip as your chest starts to heave.
You really are gorgeous like this, panting and wanton beneath him. Ideally, he'd make you cum a few times before he does, but he's been half mast all fucking week, and he really can't wait to fill you up.
"Sorry, baby, I can't hold back anymore." He kisses you deeply, before letting go of your hands and pushing your legs up, hands gripping the backs of your knees, then bruising at your thighs.
He licks his lips, pulls out, and hammers back in. You yelp, but he does it again, setting a pace that wouldn't be sustainable for your average man. It boosts his ego that he's gonna ruin other people for you, but the little breathy ohmygodkatsukifuck that leaves your lips while you scratch at his back is probably going to ruin other women for him.
Shit, your smell, the way you taste and feel-- you're sucking him back in when he tries to pull out, pussy hellbent on milking him before he's done with you. He kisses you while he fucks you, sloppy and messy and wet, and in moments you're a howling mess.
He swallows your cries as your whole body tenses, but he doesn't let himself cum with you, fucking you through it instead.
"Nonononononono..." you mutter, fingernails digging into his traps as you shake your head, pushing him away. "Stop stop, I'm gonna--"
Bakugo's heart flutters, grin feral. "Gonna what? Gonna what?" He grits, continuing to fuck you.
"Gonna-- hnghh!" You tense again, and as he fucks back into you, hot, wet squirt splashes against his groin, dripping all over the both of you and darkening those scarlet sheets maroon.
"Oh shit," he breathes, the feeling of it, the sight of you, the sound of his wet skin slapping against yours sending him over the edge as he fucks his cum into you, filling you up.
You're still mumbling incoherent nonsense when he collapses on top of you, your hands over your face in what he comes to realise is mortification.
"I'm s'sorry, oh my god, what was that? I'm so embarrassed, I--"
"Hey hey hey, are you crying?" He frowns prying your fingers from your face.
"I wet the bed in front of you!" You almost shriek, but he's just glad you're not crying. "Not just any guy, but you!"
"Yeah, and it was the hottest thing ever." He grins, feeling calm for the first time in a long time. "Fuck, I don't even care how the PR team are gonna react; getting you to squirt on me makes it worth it. I'm guessing you don't do that often?"
"Often? I never do that."
"Baby, that was hot as hell." He kisses you, then rolls over, bringing you with him.
"Happy Birthday, I guess?" You smile then, resting on his chest, drawing a finger over one of his more jaggered scars. "You don't remember what you said to me at the bar, do you?"
"I remember your tits?" He shrugs, still riding that post-orgasmic high. You laugh, and when you don't elaborate, he taps your chin so you look up at him. "What did I say?"
You start getting a little shy again. "You asked me on a date, said you were gonna take me somewhere, anywhere I want."
"I did, did I?"
"Mm, then you kissed me and claimed it was your birthday present from me."
"Fuck off," he chuckles then, embarrassed. "What a loser."
"Then I saw your... proposition online..." You mumble, eyes back on that scar.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm deleting that post, but my offer to you still stands."
"Even though you don't remember making it?"
"Baby, I just filled you with my cum, and I'm feeling like I'd like to do it again real fuckin soon. And maybe even again after that." He pulls you closer, so you're straddling him properly, your lips hovering over his. "If you'll let me."
"I don't know if that's your twisted way of asking me out or if you're looking for a fuck buddy." You pout.
"You wanna be my girlfriend?" He asked, slightly shocked at the thought. Shocked, but not against it.
"Yeah, I do." You smile, that so pretty smile.
"Well shit, when are you moving in?" He asks, half joking.
You laugh, kissing him on the cheek. "Shut up, do you mean it? You really wanna date me?"
"Yeah, I do." He says, heart hammering in his chest.
"Good, thats-- that's good."
"It is, isn't it? Now that we have that outta the way," he sits up, keeping you in his lap. "Round 2 in the shower?"
"You'll have to carry me, I still can't feel my legs." You smile.
"Maybe the bitch drinks weren't such a bad idea, after all." Bakugo grins, pulling you close in a slow, deliberate kiss.
815 notes · View notes
lovehotelreservation · 2 months ago
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Nectar
Summary: As your royal bodyguard, Laios was to ensure that not a hand was to fall onto you, the princess.
But what was he to do when exposure to some potent pollen has him desperate to have his hands all over you?
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: F!Reader/Laios
WHO'S READY TO GET EATEN (OUT) 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️
This piece has been a long time coming ever since I hosted a special poll on my Tumblr where I had my readers vote on my next lewd piece--from character to kink to trope/AU, all were determined by my dear hotel guests !!! Thank you all so much for your patience and for joining the fun !!! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ I've been meaning to dive into DunMeshi (and Laios's pantalones) so this was the perfect opportunity to finally do just that !!!
I appreciate you all as always and I hope you enjoy !!!
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There was a fruit that Laios wanted to eat.
Not to be found atop a bushel on the streets of a bustling market, nor to be served as an appetizer at an upscale restaurant.
This particular fruit was one of a kind–locked away in a garden, access reserved exclusively to only a select and chosen few, hidden within the brush of a storied grove.
Given his notorious taste for the most bizarre ingredients literally cut fresh from a dungeon’s depths for the simplest of meals, such a specific and normal craving was rather astonishing.
But Laios didn’t want to simply partake in this specific fruit.
Rather, there was this cavernous base urge to hunt down this fruit, scaling whatever length of tree as needed to seize–to lunge if needed–the delectable treat with his very own hands, dragging his tongue along its surface for an indulgent lick before sinking his teeth in for a juicy mouthful.
He didn’t even care to wash or wipe the fruit down before feasting away. Any speck of grime and dirt would only add to the flavor–if anything, imperfections on the purity of this snack served to stir his appetite all the more, a deep-seeded hunger that had gnawed at him damn near endlessly at this point.
However, attaining this singular delicacy was not going to be easy in the slightest.
While his monthly pay of coin for his services as an appointed guard to the care of the kingdom’s princess was nothing to scoff at, he wouldn’t be able to even attempt offering to buy this rare fruit.
For it was less about accumulating enough wealth and more about how he was forever shackled to the circumstances of his poor, humble upbringing.
Fated to be barred from this fruit’s taste, he was instead made to linger around the perimeter of the garden that housed this delectable treasure, to always be within reach but bound to have his hand chopped right off if he ever thought of plucking this sweet for his own famished desires.
It was a conundrum surely, one that he–reluctantly–had made his peace with for some time.
Up until a sudden shriek from afar suddenly shook Laios free from the serenity of his continued contemplating.
On a day like any other, he was to escort the princess to the outskirts of the kingdom to oversee the crops of the imminent harvest. His upbringing as the son to proud farmhands made this visit feel akin to a homecoming. He was always happy for the chance to see his parents along with–if lucky–his sister Falin should she be home from her continued studies of the arcane arts. Though, he was most thrilled at the prospect of offering facts of the natural bestiary and the gaminess of their meat to the intrigued ear of the princess.
Your ear.
And while you, the queen to be, were usually so happy to take in well of knowledge that Laios had to offer, he couldn’t help but notice on this particular day that there was this anxious energy that seemed to shadow over you like that of a bride veil, one that simmered beneath your usual graceful demeanor.
Having been under his guard and protection as his charge for years at this point, you trusted him deeply. He knew this to be undoubtedly true.
Yet there was something about your behavior throughout the day that demanded solitude–any opportunity to be alone, you were quick to take. And while unlike the stuffy and pushy advisors that often fussed over every breath you took within the castle, he respected your independence as an individual, seeing you for who you were rather than the shine of the crown on top of your head.
Still, as your bodyguard, he couldn’t allow you to stray too far away from him.
And yet for every step he took to close the gap, you only seemed intent on maintaining distance.
It was puzzling certainly, and while he wanted nothing more than to gain further insight as to what brought about this odd change in your attitude, he was far more worried with your current wellbeing.
His feet carried him as far as he could, past the vast fields of crops all the way further out past the farmlands. He cursed at himself for letting you out of his sight, all while wondering how you managed to give him the slip in the first place.
However, he would address that matter later. For now, he was set on finding you.
While his familiarity with the immediate area served as a reassuring foundation for his search, there was now the facet of determining just where you would have wandered off towards. While he took into account where you–adorned in frills and jewels–realistically could have made it out to within the time span since he last saw you, he thought back to any places of interest where you most likely would have gone.
His amber eyes quickly scanned across the horizon–either a pond that wasn’t too far out into the distance, a road that one could follow to a neighboring farm, or a somewhat maintained path that led to a field of white flowers.
The faint, distant sight of ivory petals immediately caught his attention and reignited his memory.
“–and besides supplying various cheeses for the wintertime fondue, this region’s other key offering is none other than the lovelily!”
Laios was all broad smiles and pride as he concluded his explanation.
You were all twinkling eyes and curious as you repeated his last word.
“‘Lovelily’?”
Happy for the chance to elaborate further, he proceeded to mime out the shape of the flower (horribly) with his hands. “Yes! The very same flower once used in ancient rituals for fertility–now it’s more commonly used for love potions! Potent ones at that! You know, as I think about it, I think the stems tend to not grow that tall…”
As his focus shifted more to the accuracy of the height of the flower that his hands were representing, he didn’t notice the way that the curiosity in your eyes soon changed to something far more calculating.
But of course!
His destination determined, Laios jetted himself forward towards the field of lovelilies–a sea of white blossoms that stretched far and beyond. Gaze darting around for any sight of you, he continued to shout out your name as he rushed through the vast spread of flowers.
Lovelilies were used for love potions for a reason. Their signature pink pollen is potent with aphrodisiac effects, making them the ideal candidates for their prior use with fertility rituals in times long since past.
By this point in the season, the flowers were harvested of their pollen by local apothecaries, so he at least had one less thing to worry about.
Still, just an immediate scan around the field yielded no sight of you, which only deepened his already heightened anxiousness.
Up until, at long last, he heard the muffled response of his name as he approached the center of the field.
Immediately he gazed down, and like an apple that had fallen from the tree, his eyes came across a rather deep ditch in the ground.
Deep enough to house you right within its depths.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Laios immediately dove in for your rescue. As he landed on his feet, he looked forward. Given the time of day, he still had a decent amount of light shining down within the darkness of the ditch, blessing him with the sight of you sprawled upon a bed of lovelilies. Joyed relief quickly across his features as he called out your name once again while he knelt before you.
“Are you alright–?!”
“Sir Laios!” You gasped in relief, even as your voice quivered so. “Please forgive me for leaving your sight and causing worry! I–!”
Laughing jovially, he held up his hand and waved it from side to side. “Worry not, princess. A little curiosity never hurt–”
It was at the second push in the air by his hand that he caught sight of a familiar shade of pink that floated by his face.
He immediately froze, soon realizing just where you had landed in: a ditch of unharvested, fully pollinated lovelilies. 
Tension gripped him as fiercely as he held onto you upon scooping your body into his arms.
“Princess! Hang onto me and hold your breath!”
You did as told, scrambling to wrap your arms around his neck while he worked to haul the both of you out of the ditch, all while doing his best to avoid inhaling the pollinated air as well. While it took a bit of maneuvering, a few slips while clawing at loosened soil, he was able to securely bring the two of you back onto solid ground.
However, with one issue handled, he was immediately checking over you in a flurried panic, his hands cradling your face while his mind raced back to what usually consisted of typical symptoms of lovelily exposure.
“How do you feel? Any pain? Discomfort?”
His palm pressed against your flushed cheek, a notable warmth permeating off of your skin. Before he could examine further, you meekly spoke up in response,
“I think…I may have hurt myself when I fell…”
You shifted your leg forward, wincing as your voice trailed off, your breathing becoming shallow.
And it was that expression of pain that had him quickly springing to action once again.
Formality, order, manners–all were immediately consumed by ferocious protective instinct as Laios seized the hem of your dress skirt and yanked it high up and over his head. 
He sought out for any sliver of blood or purpling bruise, his gaze darting along your leg for possible injuries sustained.
Higher and higher, his eyes continued to trail upwards.
All the way until his focus shifted towards right between your thighs.
Hues of soft pink caught his gaze, a notably sweet scent drifting by his nose.
There, spread all across the fabric of your panties with a few dustings along your inner thighs was a thick layer of lovelily pollen.
Though he was relieved to see that overall you didn’t seem to be significantly injured by your descent into the ditch, he once again found himself stuck in place.
With your dress skirt still enveloped over him, he was entrapped within close proximity to the infamous aphrodisiac ingredient. Instinct and knowledge of the flower’s effects roared at him to move, to at the very least hold his breath, yet he could not.
He refused to.
He was much too captivated, too entranced to do so.
The sight and scent of the pollen was one matter.
However, what truly beckoned for him to push his head closer up in-between your thighs was one particular scent.
Not that of the sweet lovelily pollen. 
It was something headier, a unique musk that enticed his senses, drawing his mouth to water.
And the source of that delectable scent was currently being obscured by flimsy fabric.
He just had to get a better smell of it.
His hands reached for your legs, large and calloused hands gripping them by the sides all while he immediately planted his face right in-between your thighs, his nose pressed right against your clothed core. He inhaled deeply, groaning out in delight upon exhaling at your natural scent.
He suddenly felt hungry–no, famished was much more appropriate.
His thoughts were becoming muddled, his initial intention of remembering the exact effects of lovelily pollen exposure quickly becoming lost amidst the dire need to satisfy his own cravings. Before he could act further however, it was the sound of your voice that suddenly had him snap out of his reverie.
“S-Sir Laios…”
The shudder in your voice quickly had him shoving himself out from under your dress. Immediately, his darkened eyes sought out yours, his face hot and red, his breath ragged.
What he saw was a near identical expression from your end: cheeks burning with scarlet, breath also struggling to steady itself.
With his attention captured by you, he watched as you brought your hand to the front of your gown, seizing at the material while you gasped out, also seemingly at odds between coherent thought and bodily desire, “It would seem both of us are sweltering in our respective attire.” With your other hand, you reached down to cup his chin, smiling sweetly at him, flustered and all. 
“Shall we do something about this heat together?”
Laios grabbed at your hand, bringing your palm to his lips before pressing another kiss to your wrist as he breathlessly affirmed,
“As you wish, princess.”
It was one last expression of proper decorum between the two of you–him, your trusted bodyguard, and you, his precious charge–before you both descended into an animalistic frenzy right amidst the sea of lovelilies.
A mess of frills and jewels laid to the side while Laios was far from fully stripped of his armor, his chest piece and undershirt tossed some ways away. Though his erect cock throbbed painfully within the confines of his breeches, he had undoing the strings to his trousers last in his mind, his priority first and foremost being to run his tongue all along the sopping stickiness of your core.
He couldn’t get enough. Every slurp, every suckle, every wet smack of his lips–even nudging his nose along the wet length of your slit for a better indulging of your scent, his insatiable greed knew no limits, encouraged further by the quiver of your thighs and the whines of his name from your lips.
It was hard to pry himself away from your inner thighs, especially with each orgasm he drew you towards. Even when he finally yielded to your pleas for him to finally strip off his pants, he still was adamant with feasting away at your core, fondling your ass as he kept you close to his face, all while you were positioned right on top of him, your mouth and hands clumsily handling the thick girth of his cock with earnest kisses and strokes.
How could he possibly think about stopping when the fruit he craved to eat was finally presented to him?
Or so he thought.
The taste of your core was most certainly going to impose an insatiable addiction moving forward.
However.
It was as the two of you were tangled together, his large stocky build weighing down onto yours while his big cock pumped in and out of your core’s velvety depths that he finally had a sample of what he truly sought out most.
“Sir Laios…!”
The euphoric call of his name had his focus shifting right to your face.
Right as your hands rested on his cheeks, guiding his head downwards so–for the first time–your lips could press against his for a kiss.
A simple sweet display of affection.
Yet one that scorched through him so much more significantly than any other touch exchanged between you both.
The taste of your lips had him shudder and gasp out your name, all while he was all the more compelled to slam his cock into you with furthered exuberance, the desire to flood your core with the hot and heavy load of his seed all consuming.
It would be some time until the two of you would finally work your way through the effects of the pollen.
It would be a far, far later problem for you both to explain just where exactly the two of you had disappeared to all day and why your clothes were in such disarray.
But for now, and what would remain to be true well after–pollen’s influence aside–was one blessed reassurance: You were just as hungry for him as he was for you.
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cr4yolaas · 10 months ago
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the weight of words — alhaitham x mute! reader
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notes: based off of this tiktok i found a long while ago featuring a poem that serves as the base for this fic <3 i feel like this is very poorly written / rushed and it lacks a good flow but i wanted to get it out asap bc i didn’t have any more energy to write it LOL
tags: italics represent handwritten notes, reader is implied to be rlly smart / top of the class, implied depressive episode (reader), self deprecation (reader), fluff → angst → fluff, may or may not be an inaccurate rep. of mute individuals, ooc alhaitham, not proofread
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this was a little more irksome than he wanted to admit.
at the very top of the akademiya, far away from prying eyes, sat a student bathed in sunlight. from a distance, he observed. you held a book in one hand and an apple in the other, while your legs dangled off of the ledge. he couldn’t discern much from your backside.
but what bothered him the most was that you were seated in “his” spot. the spot he always crept away to during lunch, mainly for its isolation and breathtaking view.
without hesitation, alhaitham approached you. he tapped on your shoulder and stared with an intensity akin to the blazing sun in june. “excuse me,” he began. “i normally sit here. i would greatly appreciate it if you moved to another place, as i’m most accustomed to this spot.”
a silence washed over as you stared up at him. your lack of response left him annoyed — did you find this funny?
however, as you set down your book and snack gently, alhaitham found himself surprised for the first time in a while.
a notebook sat on your lap as you wrote rapidly. the man watched quietly.
i’m afraid not. there are countless other spots up here, and i just happened to get to this one first.
a sigh slipped from his lips. while he wasn’t unfamiliar with stubborn personalities around campus, this particular interaction seemed to interest him more than it irritated him. alhaitham nodded and sat beside you, much to your surprise.
he listened as you flipped your page and began writing again, this time taking up less space on the paper.
why do you like sitting here? you passed the notebook to him.
he wrote much slower in comparison to you, however, his handwriting bore an elegance you had not seen before, as if each letter carried a song in the ink. you found it beautiful.
the lack of noise.
his short response made you smile — simple and straight to the point. another thing you deemed wonderful.
he did not hand the notebook back to you, but instead, continued to write. i dislike unnecessary sounds. they serve as useless interruptions. up here, i find that in comparison to the chatter of students, the ambience is soothing. alhaitham placed the notebook in your lap gingerly and looked into the distance, his gaze absent yet his thoughts reverberating.
you continued this back and forth with him for the entirety of the lunch break. the lines engraved on your palms spilled over with ink smears, and you found your dominant arm growing weary. you did not write your goodbyes on the paper, therefore leaving your conversation unfinished. you left with a smidge of warmth in your heart and a smile on your face in hopes of meeting him again the next day.
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from afar, you could see the way he sat leaning slightly more towards one side, and the occasional tapping of his fingers against the table as he wrote. he drank from a small mug of what you presumed to be coffee, but rather than holding the handle, he gripped the cup from its mouth. another intricacy that piqued your interest.
he noticed your stare after a few seconds, eyes of jade and clementine meeting yours. without a word, he relocated to your table, sitting directly across from you. “hello,” he greeted softly. “i didn’t know you frequented this place either.” his gaze flickered over to your notebook peeking out of your schoolbag, and when you pulled it out to respond to him, he found himself getting uncharacteristically excited.
i don’t, actually. i wanted a change of pace, but i’m not sure how much i’m enjoying it. you pushed the book across the table to him.
is it too loud to study? that’s surprising.
you looked up at him questioningly for a moment before jotting down your reply. i’m not studying. i’m just here to read. his lips upturned noticeably at your words, an expression you wished to carve into the crevices of your memory for eternity. he was painstakingly beautiful.
alhaitham didn’t respond for a handful of seconds, instead opting to look outside the window to his left. strands of sunlight draped themselves onto his perfectly crafted face and fell between each strand of hair. a view that compared to the one at the top of the akademiya.
a conversation of short responses — ranging from questions about your darshan, to your favorite season, to the books you enjoyed reading — ensued, the evidence splayed onto the paper. you appreciated his company, for it was rare that anyone sought to talk with you.
he asked another question, his curiosity seeping out endlessly. why do you communicate like this?
a thin-lipped smile etched itself onto your lips. the ink of your pen ghosted atop the paper, your hesitation evident. i was born mute. i have no voice, therefore i cannot communicate in a normal manner.
you grew increasingly anxious as he looked at you with an expression that was terrifyingly unreadable. your hands rested atop the notebook, keeping it away from him for reasons you didn’t understand quite yet.
“that’s okay,” he spoke, the baritone of his voice cutting through your shared silence. “i don’t mind it. actually, i think i prefer it. over the grating voices of the other scholars i know, at least.” he went on about his senior, a friend in kshahrewar who apparently could never keep his mouth shut in his presence. you merely listened, soaking in his words and absorbing each syllable that spilled out of the cracks between his teeth. your confession rendered you utterly silent, but seemingly, he paid no mind.
again, your conversation ended without a proper goodbye. your notebook sat still on the table. moments after his departure, you stayed in your seat, contemplating the complications of this newfound acquaintance.
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alhaitham’s life revolved around routine and quiet. he needed both to go about his day in an efficient and satisfying manner; otherwise, he would end up feeling rather unfulfilled and bothered.
perhaps that is why he found himself so drawn to you. in comparison to many of his classmates, who were incessantly obnoxious and needlessly talkative, you were quiet, not just vocally, but in every other aspect. your handwriting was consistent and each letter looked just as neat as the other. your responses were similar to his in that they were direct and honest. and, oddly, you radiated a warmth that he could not see in anyone else.
his next encounter with you wouldn’t be for a handful of days. he knew you were a student, thus resulting in his confusion — he had never seen you around campus until that day.
he ran into you during one of his lectures. you sat right beside him in a seat that wasn’t usually occupied. he began to question you with pen and paper, as usual.
since when were you enrolled in this class?
i always have been. this isn’t a necessary class for my darshan, it’s just an extra period for me to increase my credits. i don’t come to class very often.
he quirked a brow up. you fiddled with your pen.
interesting how i haven’t heard of you until now. alhaitham smiled softly at your muffled giggle, one that he had not heard until then. the noise swarmed his chest with a lightness he could not replicate.
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you might have fallen too soon.
alhaitham was a simple man, yet alluring all the same. you had snuck away his perfections and imperfections in a different notebook. for instance:
3 - straightforward and direct
21 - prefers tea over coffee
44 - can’t sleep without a weighted blanket
your ever-growing infatuation for him began to blossom in the cavities of your stomach, and soon, it would infect everything above. you could not bear it — nights spent in solitude, where he would discuss his interests (which were minimal) until you fell asleep; afternoons spent in comfort, where you would share a slice of cake to celebrating a particularly difficult exam. he consumed your very being, the neurons that invoked muscular response and the veins that carried your blood here and there; all of it was him. and yet, you could not meaningfully share this with him, your silence embedding your heart in a crevice far away.
it seemed that he got to it first, anyways.
alhaitham asked you a simple question — if you were capable of speaking for a day, what would you say? he had begun carrying his own memo book to conversate — another addition to the list.
you sat in silence for a brief period before writing, every thought and feeling and idea that has ever encountered my mind would leave my lips.
he wrote, then i will give you just that, and more.
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when you began dating alhaitham, you found that he was much more eager to “speak” to you consistently. he would write in his same font and present to you a variety of inquiries, ranging from plans for the day to what you wanted for dinner. he was the epitome of a loving man, a far cry from the tales of coldheartedness and brutality you’ve heard of him. and yet, something began to gnaw at your lungs as he did so.
alhaitham was your voice to speak through — he was the monotonous ramblings, the heavy whispers, the gentle laughs; he held all of those for you. seemingly, life became far more breathable.
but your love was just as restricting as it was kind. to speak is to suffer, but to not speak at all is beyond that — it is torture. nights were spent staring at alhaitham’s sleeping figure, questioning whether he truly felt the affection you expressed. gifts, contact, quality time; what good was it if you could not do something as simple as converse with him? it extended beyond him, as well — for reasons unknown, it grew increasingly difficult to communicate with your new professors and classmates, the downturns of their lips as you pulled out a notebook gut-wrenching. you questioned if alhaitham felt the same.
you began to spiral.
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a rapid set of knocks arrived at your door at a questionable hour. the sun hung high in the sky, albeit obscured by your curtains. a soft buzz rung in your room.
“i know you’re inside,” a voice spoke from the other side of the wood. he knocked again.
you made no move to open the door, nor to approach it, nor to get up from your bed. in response, the hinges creaked and heavy footsteps neared.
“why have you locked yourself in here?” alhaitham asked, his tone indiscernible. you didn’t see it, but you heard him shuffling around your bedroom. “where is your notebook?”
it was silly. he spoke as if you could respond, and you weren’t sure if you were supposed to be sorrowful or upset.
he pulled the blanket from off of your head, his face indifferent as he witnessed your disheveled state. “i’m not sure what’s going on, but i can assure you i will wait until you’re well enough to speak to me again. i will always wait.” alhaitham set his own memo book and pen beside your pillow. a warm hand held yours, a signal of reassurance. “please get better as soon as you can.”
he turned around to leave, and you could not bring yourself to reach out for him. what would you do? would the words crawl out of your throat, akin to a miracle? or would you plead at him with desperate eyes in hopes he’d read your mind? you did not know. every instance would inconvenience him in some way — that you could not bear.
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you did not step foot outside for another week. alhaitham (and kaveh, much to your surprise) had left meals and gifts next to your door, all of which remained untouched. you were in stasis.
each thought had been replaced by a fog so asphyxiating that it had drowned every word the moment it rose to the surface. a bubbling exhaustion boiled in you. you wished to speak, to express anything at all, to apologize for inconveniencing those around you, and to apologize to alhaitham for putting him through such an obstacle.
as if sensing this desire, he arrived at your dorm again, this time with a more gentle appearance and a large bag behind him.
you reached out for the notebook he placed beside you a week prior. why are you here?
he kneeled down beside you, paying no mind to your disheveled appearance, and spoke softly, “i’m sorry.” if it were fitting, he would have laughed at the instantaneous furrow of your brows. “i should’ve realized. and in failing to do so, i have failed you.” alhaitham took the notebook and pen from your grasp, and with an unrivaled delicacy, he held you.
“i would give up my own voice if it meant i could spend an eternity with you,” he began. “i do not care if you lack a voice of your own. you’re still embedded in my heart all the same.”
you had not written to him for days. and yet, he understood everything. he read the words displayed in your features with a familiarity no one had demonstrated.
758 - willing to help me heal.
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alhaitham sat across from you, his back hunched over his work and his face framed with a mix of feather-gray hair and wispy sunlight. he wrote with an unmatched fluidity, as if time were escaping him.
he let out a sigh as he set down his pencil and sat up straight. “why must you sit with me if you’ve finished this assignment weeks ago? it’s as if you’re mocking me.”
it’s entertaining. he grabbed the notebook from your side of the table and wrote haphazardly, contrasting his smooth technique before.
it’s really not. i feel as if i’m being ridiculed and observed under a microscrope. it’s horrible, he teased.
you’re smart, anyways. you’ll survive.
afternoons in the akademiya’s library were once suffocating and exhausting. to be surrounded by peers who could only sneer and misjudge and question was unpleasant. now, as you sat with your lover in a soft silence, you felt at peace.
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yuurivoice · 9 months ago
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Kuroshitsuji / Black Butler returning is wild to me. It's from an era of my life that is so foreign to who I am today that it evokes something akin to nostalgia but feels closer to grief. Memories of writing and experiencing fandom and having such a silly little time in a world so different from what we experience now.
Sebastian is so beautiful, still.
The shipping will be grotesque, still. But watching this era of the internet drop their think pieces at a fandom that is simply built so fucking different is going to be hilarious. The unhinged young adults from way back are now essentially fandom elders who will laugh from afar as the puritanical weebs gnaw each other limb from limb. If any of my peers wade into the fire, good luck. That's not for me.
I was able to wade through the muck of the fandom because I loved the presentation of the Victorian Era and the supernatural mystery of it all. I fell off at some point, don't even know what arc or what was happening. I've forgotten more than I can even recall about the whole thing.
It's hard to put into words.
I don't know whether I'll check out the new anime or not, but I'll certainly admire it from afar and think about how far I've come since it held such a warm place in my heart.
Damn.
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deathbxnny · 8 months ago
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hihi!! may I req ratio,aventurine and wriothesley with a teen!reader who is getting bullied badly?
reader is a student in ratios, the youngest IPC employee in aventurines and the youngest prisoner in wriothesleys
thank youu
Hello there, Anon!! I absolutely love this idea, so thank you for the request, and I hope you'll like this!!<33
Content: Some descriptions of bullying!!, teen reader, platonic relationships, fluff, hurt/comfort, some angst, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!!
((Not fully proofread))
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》WRIOTHESLEY
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Wriothesley knew from the start that you'd have a rough time here. You were very young and not the strongest he had seen either. You were akin to a scared and confused child due to your sentencing having been rather... unfair, in his own opinion. You reminded him of himself when he first arrived down here, and so, he took it upon himself to watch over you from afar until you've settled in properly.
However, as he had perhaps expected, people didn't go easy on you. You were teased and bullied, and some much older inmates were going as far as taking your hard earned tokens or food. And whilst some say that it was the survival of the fittest down here, Wriothesley didn't adhere to that anymore. Just because they were criminals didn't mean that they had to be so uncivilized in a place they had to now call home for most likely life.
And so, he eventually put a stop to it by being a little "rough" himself with the way he worded his orders for people to leave you alone. You were taken under his wing completely afterward, as he had hope that you'd perhaps make it out after all one day and lead a much better life than he could.
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》AVENTURINE
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Aventurine immideatly took notice of the way some older IPC agents picked on you. You were the youngest there, maybe even a little younger than he was when he was first taken in, and it was quite obvious that you were therefore an easy target. He tried keeping an eye on you as much as he could until he eventually just put in the request to be the one to mentor you.
He quickly made sure to always have you at his side whenever you were doing business for the IPC with coworkers. It made things alot easier regarding all the teasing and bullying, but it took alot out of him to not get annoyed whenever someone made a sly comment towards you.
Aventurine keeps you safe and helps you build your confidence up by letting you speak your mind and take over challenging jobs. He would also absolutely pull some strings to gain you more respect amongst your peers if needed, ofcourse.
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》DR. RATIO
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Dr. Ratio was keeping his eyes on you from the start during his classes, although it did take him moment to notice the bullying. You were always a very reserved and quiet child, so he usually left you alone as long as you paid attention in class and did your homework. But when your grades began to dramatically decline, he knew something must've been going on with you.
And so he decided to take alot longer when packing his things after class ended. He acted like he wasn't really paying attention to anyone anymore either, which is how he finally caught your bullies picking on you. To say that he was displeased would be an understatement. He didn't tolerate bullying in his class and made sure to place all of your bullies in detention the moment he could.
Dr. Ratio saw it as important for you to continue your studies even after what happened, but this time in private sessions away from the main classes until you felt safe again. He might be strict and stern at times, but ultimately he just wants the best for you and makes sure you know that.
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Alrighttt, I hope this was okay, Anon, and thank you again for your request!!<33
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mrs-kmikaelson · 1 year ago
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Our Song and Dance³
Pairing: Finnick Odair x reader Summary: You'd grown used to dancing the same dance over and over again, the victor's dance, but then you start dancing with Finnick Odair and you feel things you never thought you'd feel. So you let yourself enjoy the dance, even though you knew that every song inevitably came to an end. Warnings: long, exploitation of minors, mentions of forced prostitution, suicidal thoughts, implied torture, violence, complicated relationships, complex mental health issues, and i involve finnick more in everything Words: 8.1K
Masterlist | Part 4
a/n: switching it up, so this part is from finnick's pov. it's basically mockingjay one, then i'll do one more part for mockingjay 2. ly guys!
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Finnick Odair was not sure that love existed. Or, at least he wasn’t. He could barely remember what his parents looked like, let alone if they loved each other. But he had Mags; she proved to him that love existed because he loved her. It was the falling in love that he was unsure about.
And then he met Annie Cresta and it was like he suddenly understood. Yes, this was what the poets were talking about. This was love. 
But they couldn’t be together.
He was being sold off all the time, taking countless visits to the Capitol. He couldn’t endanger her like that, let her get involved in the fucked up world he lived in. So he didn’t. He loved her from afar, knowing they’d never really be together.
He thought it’d end there, but then one night, he saw you. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was all his own will, but he walked up to you. He’d seen you at these events before, back home, and on TV, but standing there so close to you, it was like it was just hitting him how beautiful you were.
You were a victor, too. But he realized just how alike you were when he watched as you left a hotel room, in the same state as him. After that, it was you who took a chance on him until he almost looked forward to coming to the Capitol, just to see you.
You weren’t Annie. You didn’t remind him of what poets had written. No, he couldn’t describe you or what you meant to him in just words. What he grew to feel for you over time wasn’t akin to anything he’d ever read. This was so much more than that.
He loved Annie, he always would, but being with you made him realize what it was like to be in love.
But he never told you this, never said any of it out loud out of fear that he’d lose you.
Now he lost you, anyway.
The doors to his hospital room opened. He knew it was Katniss, but he didn’t say anything, staring right at the ground in front of him.
If he looked hard enough, he could see your face.
“Finnick.”
He looked up from his feet, but still didn’t look at her. He already knew what she looked like, and it wasn’t much better than him.
She was mad at him. She’d barely spoken to him since they got to 13, but he knew that she couldn’t have been much more mad at him than he already was at himself.
His voice was quiet when he spoke. “I wanted to go back for them—for Peeta, and Johanna, and Y/N… but I- I couldn’t move.” He twiddled his fingers with the rope in his hands, wishing it was your hand he was holding, but he wasn’t. You weren’t there. He left you.
He finally looked up at Katniss. She looked both emotionless and so emotional at the same time, lifeless but alive. “I- I love her, y’know?” He looked back down at the knot he was tying, sniffling involuntarily.
He was trying to keep it together, but without you, that was like trying to fix a broken glass without any glue. 
You were the glue that held him together.
And now the Capitol had you.
The words left his lips without much thought. “I wish she was dead.” He chose to stare at a spot on the ground instead of looking at Katniss’ reaction. His chest tightened. “I wish they were all dead and we were, too.”
If they had died, then at least they wouldn’t have been going through this, having to live but feeling so dead, anyway.
Katniss was silent until he eventually heard her leave the room.
There were words she didn’t say that still floated around the room, agreement that she didn’t voice. She was just as broken as him, holding on for dear life. He hoped that she’d keep holding on.
He had to have hope. He had to have hope that he’d see you again, that this wasn’t all for nothing, that they could build a better world that you could both live in. He needed to hope.
That hope was the only thing that kept him holding on, too.
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He was in the cafeteria, sitting next to Katniss and Annie when it happened. The fanfare started playing, Caesar Flickerman’s face coming to the screen. He scoffed, tuning out and looking back down at the food on his plate, swishing it around. Recently, it had been hard for him to work up an appetite.
He looked back up when Katniss grabbed his hand, hers trembling. He soon realized why.
It was Peeta, on the Capitol TV.
Katniss got up, walking to the TV and standing right in front of it, shocked. He would’ve gotten up and followed her, tried to console her, but it was as if he was paralyzed.
Peeta was on the TV.
And you were nowhere in sight.
He heard the conversation that had everyone on the edge of their seat through muffled ears. Peeta didn’t look exactly like himself, but he still looked like the golden boy Panem fell in love with. It was so obvious that the Capitol was using him, playing him like a puppet, but what confused him was that they were using him and not the much more powerful weapon they had in their arsenal.
You were the Princess of Panem. Plutarch and Coin knew that; that’s why they wanted you. Katniss could light a fire, but if they also had you, then together you could cause an explosion. If the Capitol wanted to sway public opinion, why wouldn’t they just use you, someone who the people trusted and adored?
Suddenly, his stomach fell.
If they weren’t using you, then it was because you weren’t in a condition to be shown to the public.
He felt a hand on his, turning his head to see it was Annie, looking at him with a sympathetic expression. As if she could hear his thoughts, the smallest of sad smiles grew on her lips.  “It’s gonna be okay, Finnick,” she whispered. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
How the tables had turned. Now it was her assuring him.
In that moment, he understood Annie like never before.
Because he wasn’t so sure she was right.
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After Peeta’s interview, Finnick didn’t leave his room much. He’d lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling, pretending that you were there with him. He could withstand the silence if he had you by his side.
But now, the silence was deafening.
Sometimes, he didn’t hear a thing. Other times, your voice would fill the gaps, memories of you flashing before his eyes like a movie. Sometimes, they weren’t memories at all. Sometimes, he imagined a different life for you where you were both happy, in love.
And, sometimes, he imagined what they could’ve been doing to you in the Capitol.
Whenever these awake-nightmares got too vivid, he’d find Katniss and sit with her, knowing she must have been going through the same thing. It was what you would’ve done, what you did with him and Johanna.
You wouldn’t have wanted them to suffer alone.
The next time he was around everyone else, it was per Coin’s request. She announced to them all that Katniss agreed to be The Mockingjay and that, in return, she’d look for an opportunity to extract you, the victors that had been taken.
Katniss moved next to him. “Finnick, I made the deal for Y/N, too.”
It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Hope—this was hope.
“Good,” he said. For the first time since he left the arena, he smiled. “That’s good, Katniss.” A small chuckle left him.
Maybe he’d get a chance to make those dreams of his a reality.
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With a newfound ardour, Finnick threw himself back into the ring instead of avoiding the fight like he had been, sitting in on meetings and doing whatever he could to make this work. He would see you again; he’d make sure of it. 
He went with the propo team to 8, watching as the Girl on Fire did exactly what they’d all been waiting for her to do. He wasn’t the only one that was hopeful—so were people in the districts, the people in 13.
They played her propo at the next assembly. The crowd cheered, but as he stood with The Mockingjay herself on the sidelines, she didn’t look so cheerful. Finnick understood this, he understood it well, but he couldn’t afford to think like that with your life hanging in the balance.
She shouldn’t have to either, he thought.
He leaned closer to her, quizzing, “You don’t like hearing a fight song at a funeral, huh?” She looked up at him almost in the same way she did when he made that joke in the arena. At the memory of your response, a small smile arose on his face. “The more people on our side, the closer we are to Peeta and Y/N,” he reminded her.
She nodded, muttering, “Yeah,” and then turning back to the crowd. She didn’t look so convinced, but he left it there, knowing she was coping with this in her own way.
If Katniss loved Peeta even half as much as he loved you, then he’d let her do whatever she felt comfortable with.
But at the end of the day, it was love that kept them both going.
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The next time Peeta was on TV, it was a wake up call for everyone. He didn’t look so refined anymore, so clean. There were bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in days.
If this was what Peeta looked like and they still had him on TV, then what about you? 
A bile rose in his throat. He ran to the nearest trash can and threw up whatever they served that morning for breakfast, your face flashing underneath his eyelids. You weren’t smiling like in the dreams he had, but screaming.
He knew you weren’t dead, that the Capitol wouldn’t kill you, but when he pictured your face, you didn’t look so alive.
Oh, he wished he could’ve made you smile more. But in the world you lived in, sometimes it was too hard to even do that.
That’s why we’re doing this, he reminded himself. We’re trying to build a better world. But there were no words that Coin could say to shake the guilt he felt, guilt for leaving you, guilt for being the reason this happened to you. There was no band-aid he could put over this wound, no pills that could kill this pain.
But he had to push through it, and he couldn’t do that by sitting in his room by himself; every time he closed his eyes, he saw you. So he went to Katniss’ room, finding her in a position so similar to his own.
That was the man she loved on TV, even if she hadn’t come to terms with her feelings. She must have been just as guilty as him, if not more so. Finnick could remember a time when he rejected his feelings for you, too, scared of caring for somebody, scared of this happening.
He went through the Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell, being sold when he was only sixteen, but falling in love with you was the scariest thing he’d ever experienced.
If that’s how Katniss felt, then he didn’t want her to be alone, not when she reminded him so much of you.
So he sat next to her in silence, letting all of the words he wanted to say hang in the air, hoping that she heard them. They sat there wordlessly until Gale came in, telling them it was time to go, that they were going to 12.
It was only when he was about to leave that he finally spoke, deciding that these were words he had to make sure that she heard, words that he needed to hear, too.
“We’re gonna get them back, Katniss.” 
She looked at him, forming somewhat of a smile and nodding. After staring at her for a few seconds, he left the room, going to get ready.
She didn’t know it, but the entire hovercraft ride on the way to 12, he repeated those same exact words to himself over and over again.
We’re gonna get them back.
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While nothing could really ease Finnick’s worries, seeing the people fight back certainly helped. The revolution was picking up traction. The videos they shot in 12 had moved people so much that they were willing to put themselves at risk, just out of hope for a better Panem.
If they could do that, then he could, too.
He wondered if you knew about any of this, if you were even aware of what was happening or if the Capitol was just keeping you in the dark. Did you know? Did you hear Katniss sing?
Did it remind you of him the same way it reminded him of you?
He had so many questions, and so little answers.
Rebels in district 5 bombed a hydroelectric dam, cutting power in the Capitol. Not long after, Peeta Mellark was back on TV, talking about it. He no longer even looked like himself. He didn’t look like a victor, but like someone who had lost.
But Finnick supposed that was what a victor was.
Beetee managed to get through the Capitol’s firewall, cutting Peeta off with Katniss’ propo. They watched as tears filled his eyes on screen.
That was the first time he looked like himself.
Are you, are you comin’ to the tree?
He faltered. “Katniss?”
Finnick watched as Katniss got closer to the screen, shaking her head. She saw it, too. She saw the man that went into that arena with them.
But then, like a victor would, his mask went back up so quickly. 
“The attack on the dam was a callous and inhuman act of destruction-”
Where a dead man called out for his love to flee.
Peeta inhaled shakily, his lips so slightly quivering. “Think about it,” he said. “How will this end? What will be left?” Finnick walked closer to the screen, like he was caught in a trance. Peeta’s previously calm façade had broken and was replaced with someone who looked stricken by panic. “No one can survive this. No one is safe now. Not here in the Capitol.” He shook his head. “Not in any of the districts.” 
He stopped, looking right into the camera as if he was staring into Katniss’ eyes. He may not have known it, but he was.
“They’re coming, Katniss. They’re gonna kill everyone.” They heard quick footsteps behind the camera as Peeta rushed to get his words out. “And in district 13 you’ll be dead by morning-”
Then the camera cut out.
Finnick didn’t know what to say, glancing over at Katniss to see her cupping her mouth in shock.
Haymitch was much more calm. With Katniss spinning out, he had to be. “He’s warning us. That was a warning.” Behind him, Boggs said something in agreement.
Katniss looked to have gotten over her shock, frantically turning and fretting, “We have to get him out before they kill him.” She was ignored.
What about you? he wondered. Where did this leave you? But right now, what they needed to worry about was where it left them.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t have anything to come home to.
“It’s time for an air raid drill.” Seconds after Coin spoke, an alarm went off. Everyone that’d been fixed to their spot in the room was up, like they’d been preparing for this for a lifetime, and from what he heard, they had been.
Katniss went running, searching for her sister while he went looking for Annie and Mags, grabbing them and descending down the stairwell as soon as he saw them. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, his mind blank, just as it was in the arena.
If he let his thoughts take control, then he’d lose it, and he couldn’t do that right now. He couldn’t slip up right now with what was at stake.
It was your life on the line.
He couldn’t lose you.
But a part of him knew that, the second you were in Snow’s hands, the you that he knew was lost forever.
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Down in the bunker, Finnick sat on the bottom bunk with Mags off resting by herself while Annie had fallen asleep at the top. Sometimes, with her episodes, it was easy to forget that she was a victor, too, that she had danced the same dance you had. But she was, and she was dancing like never before.
He could tell that she had been trying hard to keep it together, but with all of the panic and the noise, it was hard. She fell asleep easily. 
Although the bunker was pretty quiet, his thoughts were still so loud. The last time he saw you played out in his head. He could still taste your lips on his, still feel your soft skin, still see your beautiful eyes.
I’ll see you at midnight?
Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.
But he didn’t. He never saw you again. He would’ve never let you go if he’d known then what’d happen. He would’ve held you longer, kissed you longer. He would’ve told you he loved you.
If he’d known this’d happen, he would’ve told you long before The Games. The truth was, he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he fell in love with you. It had always been Annie for him, and you were just there.
But that was exactly it. You were there. You were always there. 
Maybe he started falling for you after the first time you slept together. Maybe it was after your fifth time mentoring together. Maybe it was after the time he had a nightmare and you let him hold you. Maybe it was after you smiled, and really smiled, for the first time since you decided to start pretending to be a couple. He couldn’t be sure, but somewhere along the way, you became so much more to him than just Y/N Y/L/N, Princess of Panem and victor of the 67th Hunger Games.
You became the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
He just wished he could’ve told you that.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when someone walked up to him. “Hey.” He looked up, seeing Katniss. She looked beat, her voice quiet. “Can I sit?”
He nodded, moving over so she could sit next to him. She had her family down here, that’s why he hadn’t gone over to her, but he understood why she was coming to him. After going through what they went through, it was easier to be around people who went through the same thing, who were going through the same thing.
Like she was reading his mind, she asked, “Are you thinking about her?”
There wasn’t any need for further explanation. Truthfully, he answered, “Yeah,” looking down at the ground. Every moment he had that wasn’t dedicated to this revolution was spent thinking about you.
After a second, she spoke up again. “Snow’s using her to punish you. He’s taunting us with them.” She scoffed a little. “I didn’t understand that until just now watching that stupid cat.”
She was right. This wasn’t just about propaganda. This was about Snow’s little puppets misbehaving.
So now he was showing them that, even in 13, he still owned them. He still owned Finnick. He still owned Katniss. He still owned Johanna. He still owned Peeta. And he still owned you.
He was using you against him because he knew how much you meant to him, the same way he knew how much Peeta meant to Katniss, even if she didn’t see that herself.
Finnick sighed, debating on whether or not he should say what he was thinking or keep it to himself before deciding that he had held enough in, that holding his thoughts in had never done him any good. So he turned to Katniss and started, “I- Y/N and I, we hadn’t met until after she won her Games. We weren’t really friends, at first, but rumours start fast in the Capitol, especially when ‘royalty’ is involved.” He humourlessly chuckled. “People were saying that we were dating, and so she- she thought the best thing for us to do was to let them believe it, let them have their love story. The alternative, two people coping together- that was a lot darker than what the Capitol could handle.”
She tilted her head, furrowing her brows. He watched as she put it all together. “Wait, are you saying that…”
He nodded. “Yes. It was fake. Our love story was just that: a story.” Surprise was painted all over her face.
“But… you told me that you love her.”
A ghost of a smile came to his face. “I do. I love her. It wasn’t like that at first, but over time, I fell for her, Katniss.” He saw a look pass over her face: understanding. What he was describing wasn’t just you and him; it was her and Peeta. “Y/N and I, we learned how to play the game. If anyone could spot a fake relationship, it was us. After your first Games, we thought your whole romance was an act. We expected you to continue that strategy. But it wasn’t until Peeta’s heart stopped and he nearly died that… I knew I’d misjudged you. You love him.”
Katniss looked away, like what he was saying was something she’d never even considered. It was so clear to everyone that she loved him, everyone but herself.
“I’m not saying in what way,” he added, understanding her feelings so well because he’d right where she was. “Maybe you don’t even know yourself. But anyone paying attention can see it.” He maintained his stare, even as she looked away.
With the life they lived, you didn’t want to give yourself to love, to admit that to yourself, to allow yourself to be vulnerable. But you could only hide a love so strong for so long.
She swallowed, gaze still aimed at the floor. “How do you live with it?”
You’re asking the wrong person, he thought, but that wasn’t an acceptable answer. That wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Right now, Katniss was lost; he needed to point her in the right direction.
Even if he still had trouble doing that for himself.
He paused for a moment, searching for the right words to say. “I drag myself outta nightmares and there’s no relief in waking up,” he confessed. “But I- sometimes, when I’m awake, I let myself dream about her.” Finally, she looked over to him. “I dream that, one day, when this is all over, we’re living in a better world, happy.” The corners of his lips quirked up at the thought. “It’s hope, Katniss. That’s how I live with it.”
Katniss eyes were dull, red, tired, but even in the darkness of the bunker, he was able to see a tiny spark light up in her eyes.
Hope.
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They’d fallen asleep in the bunker along with everyone else until Finnick woke up to Boggs shaking him, telling him that they had to go. Coin wanted Katniss to get in front of the camera, tell Panem that they were still standing after the attack.
But, as soon as they stepped outside, he watched her fall apart.
Roses.
A rose?
They’re a Capitol favourite.
You hated roses. Looking at them himself, he couldn’t even blame Katniss. He felt sick, too.
She couldn’t do it. She was almost hysterical, so of course Boggs let her go. They couldn’t put her on TV when she was like this. But they also didn’t have time to wait.
With Katniss gone, Haymitch and Boggs pulled him aside to a briefing room, getting started on a new plan.
“Okay, what are we doing?”
They gave each other a look, much like the look Plutarch and Haymitch traded right after the Quell, like they knew something he didn’t, like they were getting ready for him to explode.
“Finnick, the dam that went down in district 5 cut power in most of the Capitol,” Haymitch started. “Their defences are down—Beetee’s gonna be able to get in now.”
His brows furrowed. He already knew that. 
Sensing his confusion, Boggs cut in, “We’ve gotten word that the victors are in the Tribute Centre.”
Suddenly, it was like his heart stopped.
You were coming home.
He echoed his thoughts. “You’re going to get them?”
“Yes, I’ll be leading the mission-”
“Well, I’m coming.” Again, they both shared a look, like they were expecting him to say that, and why wouldn’t they? You were his girlfriend; of course, he wanted to be there to save you. 
“Finnick-”
He cut Boggs off a second time, repeating himself, “I am coming with you.”
“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”
He scoffed. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Finnick-”
“If you’re going to get Y/N, then I’m coming with you-”
“You are too valuable to this revolution for them to let you go,” Haymitch said, but Finnick really couldn’t give a damn about whatever reason they threw at him. You were all he could think about.
“I’m not just gonna sit here and do nothing while they’re being rescued,” he retaliated. For over a month, sitting around and doing nothing was practically all he’d been doing, fantasizing about you, unknowing of when he’d see you again or if he’d ever see you again, trying to imagine what you could’ve been going through.
He couldn’t just stand by while you were in a live or die situation.
If you died- no, he cut his thoughts off, refusing to finish the sentence.
You couldn’t die.
Haymitch sighed, glancing away before looking back at him. His eyes were always hard, but at that moment, Finnick saw flashes of sympathy. “You won’t be doing nothing.”
His eyes slightly narrowed. “What do you mean?”
The two shared another look before he told him, “Katniss can’t record right now. But you can.”
Another scoff left his lips, an incredulous look on his face as his voice was laced with sarcasm. “You want me to film a propo while you save Y/N?”
Haymitch didn’t respond right away, just staring at him like he was trying to properly articulate his words. The way he was looking at him unnerved him, like whatever he was gonna say could shatter him into a million pieces.
“Not a propo, Finnick,” he finally said, hesitation evident in his tone. “It’s a lot more than that.”
And, as Haymitch explained to him what they wanted him to do, Finnick learned just how much more that was.
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Finnick Odair. That was a name synonymous with royalty, luxury, desire. Before he even met you, that was the name he’d built for himself—or, rather, the name that was thrusted into his arms.
A sex symbol.
When you won your Games, he could remember listening to the Capitol chatter. Stunning, refined, intelligent: a princess. You both already had so much in common, both from the same district, both so young when you won, but suddenly, as he watched you leave that hotel room that night in the Capitol, he realized that you had much more in common than he thought.
You were one and the same.
Those nights you spent together in the Capitol, out in the cold, you were silent. And then, even as you spoke to big Capitol fishes and gave speeches, you were still silent then, too, never speaking out about the injustices you’d been faced with.
Now, Finnick stood outside in the darkness, cold, but this time, you weren’t next to him. You weren’t next to him, and that was because Snow took you.
So he wasn’t going to stay silent anymore.
You deserved better than that.
He glanced around, almost as if he was trying to tell if his surroundings were real, if he was really doing this. 
He looked back when Cressida called his name, a careful look on her face. “Yeah,” he said, conveying he was okay without saying it, even if he really wasn’t. 
She didn’t look very convinced, but she still responded, “Okay.” She paused. “Take your time. Just remember to keep talking and don’t stop.”
He lightly nodded, looking up in front of him, seeing his breath in the air. For a moment, he was silent, but that moment didn’t last long. 
He had been silent for far too long already.
“This is Finnick Odair. Winner of the 65th Hunger Games,” he introduced himself, even though he knew that anyone watching must have recognized him right away. “And I’m coming to you from district 13, alive and well. We’ve survived an assault from the Capitol,” he recited. “But I’m not here to give you recent news.”
What he was going to tell them was much more than news about this rebellion. What he would reveal was about a war that’d started long before this rebellion ever did.
“I come with something much more valuable.”
I haven’t dealt in anything as common as money in years.
Well, then how do people pay for the pleasure of your company?
“The truth. The truth about being a victor, about being royalty.” Bitterness seeped through his tone. “Not the myths about a life of luxury. Not the lie about glory for your homeland.” He looked straight at the camera. “You can survive the arena. But the moment you leave, you’re a slave.”
We will never be free, Y/N.
He took in a breath before he spoke his next words, knowing that they held power stronger than a weapon. He may as well have been pointing the gun at his own head. But if he had to get burned to burn down the Capitol, then he would do it. He would do it a thousand times over.
And so would you.
“President Snow used to sell me. Or my body, at least. I wasn’t the only one.” Your face flashed in his mind. “If a victor is considered desirable, the President gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them. If you refuse, he kills someone you love.” Johanna.
It’s not fair. He killed her family. She said no, and he killed her family.
I know. It’s not fair, I know.
It was never fair. No riches or glory could ever be enough to compensate for that.
“To make themselves feel better, my patrons would make presents of money or jewelry. But I found a much more valuable form of payment.” The corners of his lips upturned slightly to form a small, humourless smile. “Secrets.”
The secrets he knew had the power to rip apart the Capitol’s so called “peace” at the seams. For him, for Katniss, for Johanna, for Peeta, for Annie, for you—this peace had fallen apart ages ago.
Katniss was forced to become the voice of thousands when she could barely do that for herself. Johanna turned to rage. Peeta turned to charm. Annie lost her mind. And you… what about you? 
It was about time that this peace was destroyed. It was about time that people understood exactly what victors really lost. And that Panem’s monsters weren’t hiding under the bed.
They were sitting on thrones.
“See, I know all the depravity, the deceit, and the cruelty of the Capitol’s pampered elite. But the biggest secrets are about our good President, Coriolanus Snow.” The biggest monster of them all. “Such a young man when he rose to power. Such a clever one to keep it. How, you may ask, did he do it?” He paused, looking right at the camera as if he was looking right into Snow’s eyes.
He hoped he was watching.
He hoped he was watching as they burned the Capitol to the ground.
“One word.” He lit the match. “Poison.” And then he dropped it.
“He stopped every mutiny before it even started. There are so many mysterious deaths to adversaries. Even to allies who were threats.” He could remember being at one of those dinners, watching a man fall onto his plate, his life over so quickly.
Once you were on the playing board, it didn’t matter how powerful you were. To Snow, you were all just pawns that he could knock off the board easily.
Not anymore.
“Snow would drink from the same cup to deflect suspicion. But… antidotes don’t always work, which is why he wears roses that reek of perfume. Help cover the scent of blood from sores in his mouth that will never heal.”
When Finnick learned this, he could remember the feeling he had, the satisfaction in knowing that a man who had spilled so much blood was bleeding himself. It was karmic.
How ironic was that?
“But he can’t hide the scent of who he really is,” he continued, remembering Cressida’s words. Don’t stop. “He kills without mercy. He rules with deception and fear. His weapon of choice is the only thing suited to such a man. Poison.” He scoffed. 
“The perfect weapon for a snake.”
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Moments after Finnick’s last words, they were off the air. Cressida’s hand went to her ear, a dark look passing over her face. The Capitol air defence system’s coming back online, she said, and she didn’t get to say much else before he went running inside.
Much like every other day he’d spent in 13, your face came to his mind, but this time was different. This time, they went in to save you.
What if they couldn’t?
No, they had to bring you back- they had to.
He ran and ran until he got to ops, seeing Katniss crying in Haymitch’s arms. As soon as she saw him, she latched onto him and he reciprocated her hug tightly. He had to hold on. He had to.
He wouldn’t survive the fall if he let go.
He knows, he knows they’re in the Tribute Centre, she cried, and then for the second time that day, his heart stopped. He knew. Snow knew about the rescue mission.
His ears rang, eyes going blurry. And then things got a little blurry after that, too. Eventually, he ended up back in his room by himself. He didn’t know how he got there, but he did. All he could hear was your voices in his head.
No, you are coming home-
Finni-
We are both coming come. We are both coming home, Y/N, I swear.
He was supposed to protect you. He promised. He promised you that you would both make it home. But now where were you? You weren’t with him.
You never came home.
At one point, Annie came in, trying to be of some consolation, but she ended up leaving, unable to get through to him. He couldn’t hear her over your conversations that replayed in his head on a loop.
I told you. I’m not letting you die.
A tear raced down his cheek. He knew that you were maybe still alive, that you still had a chance, but that didn’t matter. It was never supposed to get to this point. He was never supposed to let it get to this point, a point where you could be dead.
He was supposed to bring you home.
Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.
The doors suddenly slid open and Katniss walked in, breaking him out of his spell. He wiped the tears that’d fallen, clearing his throat. “Is there any news?”
Solemnly, she shook her head. “No.” He sighed as she sat down next to him, a big exhale leaving her lips, too. Both of them had passed the point of exhaustion, but it wasn’t like they could rest. Finnick wasn’t sure that he could sleep if he tried.
With this song playing so loudly, how could he?
Katniss was dancing the same dance as him, fighting the same battles. The man she loved was out there, too. She must have been just as scared as him.
They sat in silence for a while until she broke it, her voice raspy and just above a whisper. “Finnick?”
He turned to see her looking down at the ground. “Yeah?”
“I-” she stammered. It was only when she looked up at him that he saw the look in her eyes and knew why she was so nervous.
He shook his head. “It’s fine-”
She scoffed. “No, it’s not- it’s not fine-”
“Katniss-”
She cut him off. “I’m sorry.” Her words made him swallow. He knew she was going to speak them, but for some reason, hearing them was so different, surreal. She exhaled again, maintaining eye contact. “I am sorry.”
Finnick looked away. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate her apology, but he felt uncomfortable, looking into her eyes and just seeing the pure sorrow, pity. No, Katniss hadn’t been through exactly what he had, but at that moment, looking into her eyes was like looking into a mirror.
He couldn’t handle that right now, not when he stood at the top of the tallest mountain in the world and had such a long way to fall, everything to lose. 
He nodded, accepting her apology without words. It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know, she didn’t know him back then. She hadn’t been a victor long enough to know yet. If anything, he was glad that she didn’t get to know their world, that she wasn’t sucked up by the same darkness that took you and him.
He was glad that her and Peeta got time in the sun, even if it was only for a little while.
“Y/N…” At the sound of your name, he turned back to her, seeing her brows furrow, eyes glazed over. “When I met her, she said something to me.” Realization flashed across her face as she looked up. “Was- was she-”
He cut her off, “Yeah. Yeah, she was.” When he blinked, he saw you walking out of that hotel room, the look on your face. He’d never forget the way you looked at him that night.
May the odds be ever in your favour, darling.
“There were more,” he admitted. “Any victor that the Capitol found desirable was taken. Annie only couldn’t because of her madness. Johanna-” a humourless chuckle left his lips. “Johanna refused, and her entire family paid the price.” He look back to Katniss to see that her mouth had fallen open, a look of horror on her face. “You and Peeta were spared because you were together. Hell, that’s the reason Y/N and I got together, to escape all this. And now look where we are.”
With you on the verge of dying and Finnick on the verge of losing everything.
You. You were his everything.
And you didn’t even know it.
“I never told her, Katniss.” He was breathless, like the wind had been knocked out of him. He’d realized this before, knew that he made a mistake, but now it was like he was realizing that he may never get the chance to correct it. “I- I never told her I loved her.”
I’m your girlfriend now?
Oh, come on, Y/N. You can’t be serious right now.
I am so serious right now.
You had no idea. You had no idea that you were the reason he kept living, that you were the reason he kept going, even when it hurt so badly. He’d walk through Hell if he could get to Heaven and be with you.
But what if you never knew that?
What if you died without knowing how he felt about you?
Katniss grabbed onto his hand. He looked to see tears welling in her eyes. “You will,” she whispered. “Hope, Finnick. You need to have hope.”
“Hope,” he echoed. Just like how he saw your face, he was able to see a future just as easily. It was so clear. That better world that Coin went on about, the better world that they were fighting for… it was just within their grasp. He nodded, managing to form somewhat of a smile. “Hope.”
He needed that, now more than ever. If he ever wanted to make it to that better world, to live in it with you, then he had to have hope—hope for the both of you.
Katniss didn’t say much after that; neither did he. Both of them were reflecting on their own, still trying to process all the turmoil that the day had caused. He spent his time thinking of you, imagining that better world.
In a better world, you and Finnick would’ve never been sold. You would’ve met, and he would’ve gotten the chance to fall in love with you the right way. He wouldn’t have been so scared to tell you. You would’ve given back to the community, not taken kids to their deaths.
You would’ve been so happy together.
But that wasn’t the world you lived in.
In the world you lived in, you and Finnick were sold at ages far too young. First, you sold your souls by winning The Games, and then your bodies were sold to people who had no business touching you.
In the world you lived in, you were only brought together because of tragedy. You only dated to try and save yourselves from a much greater evil, not because you loved each other.
In the world you lived in, Finnick fell in love with you. But he couldn’t tell you that, not when his biggest fear became losing you.
But in the world you lived in, he lost you, anyway.
So he had to have hope that a better world was possible- he had to. Not having that was another blow he wasn’t sure he could take.
When imagining your better world turned into reminiscing over all that’d happened to you both, he cut his thoughts off. He couldn’t let himself stop and break down now, not when he was so close to the finish line, so close to you.
So he pulled rope from his pocket, tying the same knots over and over again, a habit he’d picked up at a young age. Focusing on the knots was able to take his mind off everything, allowing white noise to play instead of this song.
He didn’t want to hear it without you.
He did this until he lost track of time. It was only when the doors slid open again that he was broken out of his trance. Katniss perked up right away. It was Haymitch behind the door, looking as enthusiastic as Finnick had ever seen him. “They’re back.”
She gasped, getting up and running right away, but it was as if Finnick was cemented to his spot. They’re back. 
You were back.
Just like that, he was shaken out of his shock, standing and quickly catching up with them.
They ran until they were in the medical area. As soon as they got there, he saw Johanna, ripping an IV out of her arm. Her hair was gone, shaven off, bruises all over her pale, pale face.
“Johanna,” Katniss muttered, but Finnick’s attention was elsewhere, eyes darting around the room, searching for you, heart racing.
And then he saw you.
His eyes went wide. “Y/N!” Without waiting another second, he ran to you. After over a month, here you were, right in front of him.
But it wasn’t so simple.
You flinched as his hands went to touch you, making him retract them right away. Your eyes didn’t look in his direction once.
Like you were scared of him.
At the thought, his heart clenched. It was only then that he noticed you were shaking, even as you were covered in blankets.
Your body was littered with cuts and bruises. You were pale, too, so clearly malnourished and sleep deprived. But it was your eyes that really got him. Your beautiful eyes no longer looked so lively. They looked empty.
You looked like a ghost.
“Y/N?” His voice cracked simultaneously with his heart. Why weren’t you looking at him? “Y/N-”
He was cut off. “Mr. Odair.” He turned to see a doctor standing on the other side of your bed, a hesitant look on her face and a look in her eyes that made a shiver go up spine. “Could I speak to you for a moment?”
He glanced back to you, seeing that you still weren’t looking at him. Your gaze was fixed on a spot on your bed. You hadn’t looked up once, even as the doctor spoke. Confused, he nodded, letting the woman pull him to the side, out of earshot from you.
But even as the doctor started speaking, he couldn’t get your eyes out of his mind.
That look in your eye was somehow worse than any of his nightmares combined.
“Mr. Odair, Ms. Y/L/N’s condition is… it’s quite complex,” she cautioned. He furrowed his brows, his worry increasing.
“What do you mean- is she okay-”
“No, I meant- physically, I’m not seeing much to be worried about. Of course, she could be better- much better, but this is what we were expecting.” She paused, glancing at you. “Mentally- I’m not even sure where to begin.”
He glanced back at you, too, to see that you were still staring at that same spot on your bed. He let the doctor’s words register in his brain. You weren’t okay.
“We’ve informed psych, but for now, you’re just gonna need to give her time.” Time.
He let out a breath, feeling his eyes getting wet as what she was saying really soaked in. “You’re telling me to leave.” Just as he got you back.
“Mr. Odair-”
“You’re telling me to leave.”
“Finnick.” She cut him off with a strong call of his name. “Your girlfriend’s mental state right now is unstable. She’s in shock; she’s not herself right now. It is going to take some time to get her out of this state, and it’s going to be hard for you to see her in it. In the meantime, the best thing you can do for her is take some time to collect your thoughts.”
She was telling him to go off and think. Did she know that’s all he’d been doing for hours, thinking and throwing himself into the worst possible scenarios, only to realize that one of them had become a reality?
But he didn’t tell her this, instead looking back at you. You were lifeless. When he looked back at the doctor, there was a pleading expression on her face. He didn’t want to leave you, but she made it sound like the best possible thing to do for you. So he did.
But the truth was, he just couldn’t bear to watch you when you were like that.
You were the love of his life. It was like his heart started beating again when he saw you there, alive, but then it dulled once he really looked at you.
You didn’t look like the girl he fell in love with, the girl that went into that arena, or the girl he said goodbye to. It only took a month, and now you looked like a completely different person, like you had seen things no man had ever seen.
In his haze, Finnick made it back to his room, but he didn’t make it to the bed, collapsing onto the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest as his mind spun.
You were alive. He thought that, when he finally saw you again, all of his worries would be erased, that everything would be okay again, that the world would go back to being in colour instead of this black and white that he’d been stuck in with Katniss.
But nothing seemed more colourful.
Nothing seemed better.
You were here. You were back, Y/N Y/L/N, the same woman he loved, the same woman he’d dreamt about for weeks. You were alive. 
But, oh, he should’ve known it couldn’t have been that easy.
Your heart was beating, your eyes were open, and you were there… but that didn’t mean you were alive.
I told you. I’m not letting you die.
Little did Finnick know, you were already dead. 
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