#aka the fabulous flame

[gbveryspecialguests]

Robby: Sweeeeeeeet!

[lixenn]

Felicia-related ask!!!

Since she's the vice-president of the Varia Fashion Club, I wonder if she's one of the people responsible for designing the Varia uniforms? (also who's the president? 👀✨)

I'm also curious about her main weapon! My first thought is a big hammer because you mentioned her being a blacksmith hahahaha

Top 3 characters (both oc and canon) she gets along with within Varia? 🥺🤲🤲🤲✨

First Felicia ask let's gooooooo!! Thank you for sending in some questions for my girl Ein 💜✨🥹

Fashion Club

Technically yes. Felicia is partly responsible for the uniform design but most of the work was done by Lussuria (who is the president and founder of the fashion club). Since the uniform design needs to be approved both by the Boss and Chief of Staff (because the Assassin uniform and Housekeeping uniforms are different) she couldn't be the main designer, she would have made them pastel with frills and that ain't gonna fly both with Xanxus and with Dan lmaooo. But she's not just a blacksmith, she's also a tailor so her job was integrating armour into the design while still making it look good.

(Btw the fashion club is first mentioned in chapter 7 of the Guide so you know where that comes from 🫡)

Weapon

AND WE HAVE A WINNER 🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊

Felicia's main weapon is a gigantic hammer that's not only pink but also fitted with several gem stones to make it extra pretty. She lovingly calls it Bettsy and has smashed in many heads with it. It's not the only weapon she can use, Felicia is well trained in several different weapons (she likes testing out her own work after all) but Bettsy is her favourite. Under all her layers she's actually quite muscular (which she's a bit insecure about so she tends to wear long sleeves and nothing formfitting) which is partly attributed to her smithing but also to her swinging around a massive hammer. Her sun flames help in that regard and she uses her mist flames for distraction purposes (aka special magical girl effects that leave most serious mafiosi massively confused).

Top 3

Lussuria Fashion besties, get along like a house on fire (no worries nothing is burning, Blaze has been send away on a mission). Reunited in their goal to make everyone more ✨fabulous✨ these two are on a mission to finally get Chief a better personal wardrobe (they are failing). Felicia also often comes to Luss for advice about romance troubles because she's a massive disaster lesbian that somehow can't seem to get a girlfriend no matter how cute she looks. ("What am I doing wrong 😭😭" "There, there honey. If she can't like you covered in gore, then she's not worth it. You will find your lady love someday, don't fret.")

Dave Similar to Lussria, Dave and Felicia have their love for fashion in common. They like talking about the newest trends and exchanging gossip. Though Felicia is not a fan of Dave's whoring ways, she's a bit of prude 🤣

Valerie Felicia admires Valerie a lot. Val keeps an eye out for the girls in Housekeeping (because typical mafia misogyny is still a thing) and young Felicia got attached quickly because Mrs Val is just so cool! So collected, so smart! And she takes such good care of her weapons! Val is quite fond of Licia as well ever since she made the naginata Val uses as her main weapon.

[wqintraining]

NEW X-MEN: THE ANIMATED SERIES - SEASON 3, EPISODE 3

We open on a beautiful day in Nova Roma, a hidden city in Brazil within the Amazon, built to resemble ancient Rome, with even the citizens dressing like Romans. People are happily going about their day, shopping at the market while children run around and play. 

At the massive, centurion-guarded Aquilla Estate, we’re introduced to Amara Aquilla AKA Magma, living like a Disney princess as she swans around her mansion playing with exotic animals, munching on fruit, politely greeting guards and servants, and lighting candles by shooting flames out of her fingertips. 

Kissing her father on the cheek good morning, Magma informs her father that she’s off to go play with some of the city’s children, as she promised. 

AMARA: “I sometimes fear they enjoy the company of Magma more than they do Amara, but I am hardly one to speak on being shallow.” 

Her father laughs. She shouldn’t say such things about herself. She’s hardly the same spoiled girl she was when she was younger. He had his doubts when he sent her to live with Professor Xavier, but the experience molded her into a fine, mature young woman. 

Amara is embarrassed by her father’s praise and quickly changes the subject. Namely to how, whoever they’re interested in playing with, those kids need her. There’s been some scary stuff going on in the world lately, and Nova Roma isn’t as disconnected from it as it once was. 

AMARA: “Iara seems especially troubled. She keeps crying every time her parents tell her they’re out of fish.” 

Her father is sure that whatever is going on, Magma will get her through it; she’ll help them all. 

Suddenly, a booming, unnatural thunder strike is heard. 

Amara transforms into her Magma form and rushes outside, telling her father to stay here while she looks into this. 

Outside, Magma is horrified as her city has been set aflame, and the one clearly responsible stands in front of her, flanked by a horde of demons, and looking positively fabulous. 

MAGMA, pissed and scared: “Selene.” 

SELENE, sickeningly sweetly and not looking a day over 30: “Hello… granddaughter.” 

Magma slams her hands on the ground and causes a volcanic eruption directly underneath Selene, but it fails to even phase her. Selene knocks her out with a single blast of energy. 

SELENE, looking around her: “Hmm. I don’t like what’s been done with the place at all. We’re going to need to make some changes.” 

Selene cackles. 

In Magik’s room at the institute, Illyana is still lying in bed in the dark, cuddling her stuffies and crying. She’s mumbling a song in Russian to herself. 

Kitty creaks the door open, Lockheed perched on her shoulder, and asks Magik if it’s okay to come in; the little guy wants to see her. Lockheed chirps. Magik just weakly groans. Kitty enters and shuts the door behind her. 

KITTY: “Thanks for not shooting a fireball at me. I know you’ve been doing that to…everyone else.” 

Lockheed flies into Illyana’s arms and she holds him tight. 

ILLYANA: “Fireballs. I used to be able to rain fire upon the entire world. Now I can shoot teeny, tiny little fireballs. I am pathetic.” 

Kitty tells her she doesn’t care how powerful she is. That’s not important. What is important is that she’s more Yana than Darkchylde now. That’s a good thing. 

YANA: “No. It isn’t.” 

Kitty sits down next to her on the bed and gently takes her hand. 

KITTY: “I wish you would tell me why you think that.” 

Yana grunts and squirms. 

Kitty is deeply saddened as she clenches her face and Yana’s hand, wishing there was anything she could do. 

There’s a knock on the door. It’s Magneto. 

MAGNETO: “Magik? Are you there? I’d like to speak with you in my office.” 

Illyana weekly giggles. 

YANA: “Sounds like old times, but not my old times.” 

Kitty tells him to go away, but Magneto only replies by telling them that something has happened to Magma. 

Magik’s eyes widen. 

In the new, non-sentient Danger Room, Mercury, Bling!, Dust, Tag, Quentin, and the Cuckoos are gathered. No one’s sure why they’ve all been called there. It’s training day for Emma and Dani’s squad members, but not the others and Julian and Noriko aren’t here. They wouldn’t have put them all on the same squad just because they’re friends, right?

Emma and Iceman enter, with Bobby still recovering from his last battle and looking like a snowman, and Emma telling them that, no, they wouldn’t, but they do want all of the most talented non-X-Men students on their “X-Men in Training” squad. Bobby explains that since Hellion and Surge are X-Men now, like Wolverine, it isn’t really appropriate for them to be on the squad anymore. But since the Cuckoos and Quentin are their most talented telepaths, something the training squad is currently lacking outside Tag’s limited abilities, they thought they’d be good fits to replace them. 

EMMA: “Congratulations, girls. This is where you’ve always belonged.” 

SOPHIE, pleased but playing it cool: “Training to be X-Men could be fun, we suppose.” 

QUENTIN, loud and smug: “Ha! About time. Maybe the X-Men aren’t as shallow as I thought.” 

BOBBY, ignoring him: “Uh huh. Anyway, this also lets Emma only need to worry about one squad, so she can spend more one-on-one time with Hellion. She’s reeeeally petty about her protege staying ahead of Kitty’s.” 

The kids all laugh at Emma. She really needs to stop bringing Robert places. 

ROXY: “Okay, so this is cool, but what am I doing here exactly? I wanna fight with my girl, but I’m not anything special.” 

BOBBY: “Neither was Beast. There’s more to an X-Man than their mutation.” 

Roxy perks up and Cessily holds her hand. 

Dust questions where Ms. Moonstar is. Shouldn’t she be here? Or is Iceman taking her place? Emma explains that, no, Danielle is still their squad’s co-leader, she’s just occupied at the moment. Mercury follows up by asking what Iceman IS doing here. 

EMMA: “Oh, he’s overseeing the detention you all have.” 

THE WHOLE SQUAD: “WHAT?!” 

Magneto walking ahead of them, Kitty helps Magik into his office. There, Sunspot, Dani, Karma, Cannonball, and Wolfsbane are already waiting. 

RAHNE, smiling through her concern for her friend: "Hello, Illyana. It's nice to see you out of your room."

As Magento takes his seat, the rest of the New Mutants awkwardly smile at Illyana. She hides her face in her hair, asking to just hear what happened to Amara. 

Magneto informs Kitty and the New Mutants that Nova Roma was invaded by its former ruler, their old enemy, the External Selene Gallio. 

Kitty can't believe the timing. They just finished with one External and now another is causing problems. 

ROBERTO: "She and Apocalypse were the last ones standing after the X-Men and X-Force sealed away the rest of the immortals. I'm sure being the oldest and last remaining has only done wonders for that ego of hers."

SAM: "Really? You're talking about ego?"

DANI: "90% of the adults in this building shouldn't get to talk about that." 

Illyana stomps her foot on the floor. She just wants to know about Amara. Kitty wraps her fingers around hers. 

Magneto explains that Magma was able to send a distress signal a few hours ago. They don't know what's happened since. 

RAHNE: "The X-Men are going to go save her, right?!" 

XUAN: "Rahne, honey, I don't think we'd be here if they were."

Magneto nods. While their advanced healing technology has them up and about, most of the team is still recovering from the fight with Apocalypse and the Horsemen; they're in no condition for another battle on that level. 

Selene has always been the New Mutants' enemy primarily, so, with Sunspot and Magik still able, he's elected to send his old students. 

Kitty tells him to hold on. She should go. Magik isn't active right now. Magneto counters that the Horsemen are still out there; they need Kitty here in the event they're attacked. And he hopes a mission might just be what Magik needs. 

DANI: "You know you could have thought of us more as your "old students" when you were returning to villany and releasing Exodus in the first place."

ERIK, tired: "I am not doing this right now, Danielle." He turns to Illyana with a gentle expression."The choice is yours, Illyana."

Illyana tugs at her hair. 

ILLYANA: "Yeah. I'll help, Teach." 

ROBERTO: "Perfect! Cannonball, Dani, I'm sure you won't mind taking the lead like old times?"

DANI/SAM: "If he/she can still keep up."

Rahne and Karma sigh. Why couldn't someone else have a turn? 

KITTY, to Yana: "Are you sure you'll be okay?" 

Yana tensely nods. 

YANA: "Yes. Even Darkchylde…wanted to protect her friends." 

Sam and Dani tell everyone to get prepped. They'll be leaving by stepping disc in 5 minutes. 

Everyone heads out, save for Erik and Roberto, Magneto wishing them luck. 

Once they're alone… 

MAGNETO: "You deferred responsibility to Samuel and Danielle. I specifically asked you to lead this mission over Kitty to evaluate your own leadership abilities."

SUNSPOT: "Yes you did."

MAGNETO: "You know as well I do that merely running a successful business does not qualify a true leader."

SUNSPOT: "Yes I do."

MAGNETO: "I assume you're plotting something?"

SUNSPOT: "Yes I am. Good day, Headmaster."

Roberto walks off with a cheeky smile. 

The new "X-Men in Training" Squad are all seated in a classroom. The girls don't seem bothered at all, taking pictures together and making tiktoks. Across the room, Brian and Quentin, meanwhile, are annoyed at how seemingly unfair this is; they were hoping to sneak into a new barcade. 

The Cuckoos giggle as they record the two, ready to post them with a caption reading "SAD", but Cessily, laughing, pushes their phone down and tells them to stop. 

CESSILY: "Brian, dude, come over here." 

QUENTIN, reading her mind: "They wish to make content at my expense."

The girls laugh. Brian questions what's wrong with them. Why do they have to be so mean to Quentin? 

SOPHIE: "Don't let him play victim."

PHOEBE: "We've ALL seen what he's posted about women."

ROXY: "Especially "cool girls"."

QUENTIN: "I have never posted anything the least bit offensive about ANY of you. At least nothing that isn't true."

Brian facepalms. 

BRIAN: "I'm working on that."

QUENTIN: "Don't condescend to me!" 

Iceman finally enters, apologizing to the kids for needing a minute, and requesting all of their phones. 

Once they've been confiscated, the Cuckoos ask what they're doing here. 

ICEMAN: "You're joking, right? You girls brought unknown drugs onto school property, forced Cessily and Roxy to take them, and none of you reported this. We had to find out from Quentin."

PHOEBE: "Rat!"

QUENTIN: "And why am I here then?" 

ICEMAN: "Because the Cuckoos ratted YOU out for giving them all nightmares after they pranked you."

BRIAN: "Dude!"

QUENTIN: "It was payback!"

ESME: "You made Mindee cry!" 

MINDEE, embarrassed: "Why would you TELL people that?!"

BRIAN: "I thought your name was Celeste."

CELESTE: "I'm Celeste! That WAS Irma! Now she's Mindee!"

SOPHIE: "Even though I told her to stick to "I" names!"

ICEMAN, already exasperated: "ENOUGH! Oh my god, enough." 

Bobby thinks that maybe, just maybe, this is partially their fault. The X-Men haven't exactly been the best role models to them. So, to try and give better examples, he wants to tell them all stories about the OLD X-Men, and the lessons they learned. Maybe they'll learn something. 

The kids all look annoyed by this. 

BRIAN: "I still don't know why I'm here." 

ICEMAN: "Honestly Tag, I just thought you'd like to be included."

BRIAN, completely serious and pointing at him: "You thought correctly."

He does wish the others were here to suffer with them though. Iceman says he's sure they wish they were here too. 

ICEMAN: "I was just talking to Emma and Kitty and they seemed…intense."

Checking in with Kitty and Emma, we see them stifly pacing down on the hall next to each other. Both are smirking at the other. Emma questions if Kitty is still up for this, or if she's too worried about Magik. 

KITTY: "Magik is a big girl. I think. The New Mutants will take care of her and save Magma no problem. You're not getting cold feet and looking for an excuse to get out of this, are you?" 

EMMA: "You're confusing me for a small, squishable creature that gets nervous. Like yourself."

The two continue to faux-smile at each other as they pick up the pace. 

In the Mission Room, Hellion and Surge are stretching. Julian has his back to her as he rants about how nasty those Japanese snacks she ordered were. He knows she wanted a taste of home, but BLEH. 

Noriko isn't really paying attention, instead finding herself focusing on his stretched-out biceps, which have gotten noticeably larger and more muscular since last season. She smacks herself when she realizes she's doing this. 

Kitty and Emma enter. They hope the kids are ready for their "Advanced Studies". 

The New Mutants emerge from a stepping disc in the Amazon. Dani notes that this doesn’t look like Nova Roma, which makes Magik growl. 

MAGIK: “I missed.” 

Magik screams. She didn’t just miss. She’s tired from that! How can she be this weak? Sam assures her no one’s mad. Her getting better is their priority. As for finding their destination…

SAM: “Wolfsbane?” 

Rahne transforms into her wolf form and sniffs the air. 

RAHNE: “Got em. It’s close.” 

KARMA, as everyone walks behind Rahne: “See? Rahne’s got this and we were close anyway. You did great.” 

Yana huphs and sneers. 

Roberto smirks for just a second. 

ROBERTO, walking up next to Xuan and Yana: “Karma is right, Magik. And I have no doubt you’ll still be key to defeating Selene like you always–” 

DANI, cutting him off: “You’re doing the voice.” 

BETO, off guard: “I’m sorry?” 

KARMA: “The inflection you put on when you’re not being straightforward. Do you think we don’t recognize it?” 

ROBERTO: “I…um…” 

Magik gargles in disgust at him as Xuan leads her further ahead. Sam puts his arm around Beto’s shoulders. 

SAM: “You wanna tell me what that was about?” 

ROBERTO: “I honestly don’t have the faintest idea what you’re–” 

He’s cut off again as Sam squeezes him tight and puts his lips to his ear. Roberto lightly shrieks. 

SAM: “We’ve got one of ours in danger, another is having a crisis, and we’re completely outgunned here. I can’t be having your games right now. Talk.”

ROBERTO: “I–!” 

SAM: “Or I’ll hand you over to Dani.” 

Roberto sighs in defeat. “Fine.” 

Back at the school, Iceman thanks the Cuckoos for linking everyone up psychically. He imagines his stories will be more engaging if they all can see what’s happening. 

Bobby elects to start from the beginning. Or, at least, the real beginning. His story begins when he was 14. He’d been living at the mansion for a few months and–

He’s already cut off as Brian questions why he looks like the snowman he currently appears as in the flashback. Bobby laughs and admits that’s just how his mutation used to look; the hot ice bod came later. 

Anyway, he’d been living with Professor X, Cyclops, Archangel, and Beast for months and–

Iceman is cut off again, looking less amused this time. 

ROXY: “Woah! That’s Dr. McCoy?!” 

SOPHIE: “And that was Archangel at our age?” 

CELESTE: “Why is it always the pretty ones who perish?” 

Bobby grins through his seething, already wondering if this may have been a mistake. But yes! The bigfoot-looking guy was Hank before he tried making himself look “normal”, and only made himself fuzzy in the process. 

ICEMAN: “And yeah…Warren was damn pretty.” 

ANYWAY!

They’d been living together as one big sausage fest, just studying and training together, when Jean came to live with them. The other guys started hitting on her…

CESSILY: “Did you mean to include Professor X in that visual?” 

BOBBY: “No comment.” 

BRIAN: “And you weren’t hitting on her?”

BOBBY: “I will talk to YOU later.” 

But yeah, point is, Jean arrived, and they hardly had a chance to get to know her before they received an alert: Magneto was attacking the US Pentagon. Now, they’d heard stories about him before, but they’d never met him. And importantly, they’d never been in the field. But their newest headmaster was gunning for world domination at the time and needed to be stopped, so the professor sent the five of them out to do just that. 

Quentin remarks that that couldn’t have been much of a fight with Ms. Grey there, recalling his time with her as his squad leader. She defeated him in seconds, no? 

Bobby laughs as the fight is shown, where Magneto beats the crap out of the 05 without breaking a sweat. Yes, the Jean they knew was the most powerful Mutant on the planet. Back then? She had slightly better telekinesis than Emma does, and that was it. 

SOPHIE: “You’re joking.” 

The kids also question why Warren isn’t transforming into Archangel and why Iceman isn’t doing anything besides throwing snowballs. Once again, that all came later. 

Cessily raises the obvious question: how did they win this? 

From underneath some rubble, Cyclops blasts Magneto while his shields are down and he’s laughing maniacally, prompting him to run away. 

BOBBY: “Yeeeeah, don’t tell Mr. Summers I said this, but I’m pretty sure he let us have that win, and it wasn’t the only time. Say what you want about two of your headmasters: even at their worst, neither liked hurting kids.” 

SOPHIE: “What about Firestar?” 

BOBBY: “Emma told you about that?! Okay, talking to HER later too.” 

Esme cackles under her breath. 

The point of the story is the X-Men weren’t always who they are now. They were just a bunch of dumb kids way out of their league. But they persevered and made it work. And they were only able to do that because they were friends and a team. They always worked together and stuck together. 

BEAT

QUENTIN: “I think the moral is you all used to suck.” 

The kids all struggle not to laugh a little. Bobby only gets more frustrated. “At least they’re laughing together.” 

Back in the Amazon, Woldsbane leads the team through a dark cave. Dani remembers this place; they should almost be there. 

Suddenly, Rahne shivers. 

KARMA: “Wolfsbane, what’s wrong?” 

RAHNE: “So, so many pounds of burning flesh.” 

Spurred on by her assessment of the scents present, the six rush to the end of the cave. From there, they have a clear view of Nova Roma - the sky dark, the city half on fire, and the largest structure a statue of Selene. 

The New Mutants grimace and glare at the sight in front of them. Magik clenches her fists. 

Dani loudly claps her hands, telling everyone to listen up. There’s no time for dooming or questioning if Amara is still alive. They have to believe she is and focus on how they save her and win this. 

Sam reminds everyone that they cannot, under any circumstances, fight Selene directly. Last Wanda told him, she’s been having some trouble hunting her down as she’s been traversing the mystical realms. They may have found other ways when they were kids, but with how powerful she’s gotten, magic is the only way to stop her. 

SAM: “Pun not intended, but unavoidable.” 

MAGIK, hanging her head: “Her magic has to be stronger than mine. Still strong, fast, immortal. Can still eat life force.” She shakes her head. “No. I can’t do anything.” 

KARMA: “That’s not true. You came here because you knew you could–” 

MAGIK: “I said I can’t!” 

As Magik roars, her voice becomes demonically pitched, and her scream sends the other 5 New Mutants flying out of the cave. Cannonball goes blasting and catches the others before carrying them down into the forest right outside Nova Roma’s walls. 

SAM, panting: “Even when she’s on our side, she’s still trying to kill us.” 

The girls are all worried about her, but Cannonball tells them to go ahead; he and Sunspot will stay back and keep Magik safe while trying to talk her into taking action. 

DANI, smirking: “Oh, so you’re deferring total leadership of the mission to me?” 

SAM, smirking back: “No, I’m giving you temporary total authority since we can protect Magik better.” 

DANI, annoyed: “Hmmm.” 

Dani takes command and tells Karma and Wolfsbane to follow her. Let’s see if they can’t handle this on their own. 

KARMA: “I mean, we probably can’t, but hey, just our lives on the line.” 

Once they’re gone…

SAM: “Okay…this little plan a’yours oughta work.” 

ROBERTO, shrugging: “60/40 odds, I’d wager.” BEAT. “50/50.” 

Sam smacks his face. 

In the Danger Room, Emma and Kitty go over what’s going on for Hellion and Surge. They can’t stop sniping at each other though. 

EMMA: “Kitty has done a fine job whipping you into shape while I’ve been busy…” 

KITTY: “A lot of hard work with how much of your lessons I had to unteach.” 

EMMA: “Perhaps if you hadn’t, we wouldn’t need to be here.” 

Surge and Hellion roll their eyes at these two. 

KITTY AND EMMA: “Do NOT roll your eyes at me!” 

In any event, while they’re more than comfortable keeping them on the X-Men in spite of their and Wolverine’s failure to defeat War, they clearly need more experience. Surge tries countering that they’ve been taking down supervillains for months by themselves, but Kitty reminds her they were having one, easy battle every couple weeks or so. When Laura’s out there with Logan? She’s fighting real threats every day, and learning something new every minute. 

They called these their “Advanced Lessons” but what these two really need are apprenticeships like hers. 

HELLION, disgusted: “Apprenticeships? You meanbeing sidekicks?" 

EMMA: Hellion, have you ever known me to sully my hands with the kinds of degenerates Kitty’s been having you combat? No, we do not mean sidekicks.” 

Kitty tells them that, starting today, they’re each shadowing one of them, learning their unique skills, and, most importantly, learning to be leaders. ANY X-Man should be capable of taking charge at a moment’s notice. 

And as an added incentive for the kids for their first day, the professors have made a “friendly wager”. They know Doop the Janitor, right? Well, he’s gotten a little sick. Whichever student performs worse, that pair will have to fill in for him tonight. 

JULIAN: “Me vs Ashida again? No problem. I’ll make the bag lady a garbage bag lady.” 

NORIKO: “As if, Brotherhood Boy.” Nori japs his chest with her finger. “I am gonna make the sloppiest mess for you to clean.” 

JULIAN, stammered by Noriko touching him and her choice of phrasing: “Uh…sure.” 

NORIKO: “Oh come on! It’s no fun if you don’t bitch back.” 

JULIAN: “Sorry?” 

NORIKO: “Sorry? The Hell is wrong with you?” 

The wheels in Kitty and Emma’s brains visibly turn as they piece together what’s been going on with these two. 

Back in the classroom, Iceman begins his next story. He knows these kids love hanging out at The Grindstone, but the original X-Men had their own coffee shop of choice: Coffee A Go-Go. Sometime he and Beast would bring dates their, but usually, it was a team thing. And it wasn’t JUSt a coffee shop. It was–

Once again, Bobby is quickly cut off, this time by Phoebe. There are seven X-Men in the mindscreen, and she recognizes Polaris as the girl in the green, but who’s the dweeb holding her hand that’s clearly out of his league? 

Iceman cackles. Okay, this one he’s happy to answer. That’s Cyclops’ brother - Havok. 

BRIAN: “Cyclops has a brother?” 

ROXY: “Is he from the future like his daughter?” 

QUENTIN: “I thought his son was from the future.” 

MINDEE: “Was he really dating the Genoshan princess? With THAT hair?” 

BOBBY: “Yes, no, yes, and, tragically, yes.” 

CESSILY: “You’re not a fan?” 

BOBBY: “Ahhhhh. No. No, he sucks.” 

BRIAN: “That bad? I thought all the Summers were badasses.” 

BOBBY: “Oh, he can fight. But last time I saw him, he was swearing loyalty to a demon queen and trying to kill us.” 

ROXY: “This being a DIFFERENT demon queen from Magik?” 

BOBBY: “No, this one was Cyclops’ ex-wife.” 

BEAT. 

SOORAYA, throwing her hands up: “OF COURSE!” 

Back to the story, Coffee A Go-Go was the primary venue of another very annoying man named Bernard the Poet. He was a beatnik who’d do crap like reading shopping lists dramatically as a performance. His girlfriend couldn’t get enough of it. And he stole some of his cake on his 18th birthday! 

The kids question why this guy matters, with Bobby revealing Bernard was actually a Mutant. One with the power to alter the perception of others with his mind. A whole war ended up centering around–

Bobby’s cut off for a different reason than usual as the Cuckoos don’t want to watch a loser Mutant here, “Seeing Quentin everyday is bad enough”. Roxy gets an idea, thinking maybe instead of being a beatnik poet, he could be a slam poet. The Cuckoos think that’s a great idea and change the vision so that Bernard looks modern and cool (and handsome). 

BOBBY: “What are you doing?” 

CESSILY: “Oh! I know! Polaris should be into him, not Havok, but unsure if she can trust him because she doesn’t know he’s a Mutant!” 

SOPHIE: “YES!” 

The vision changes again. 

BOBBY: “Guys, please stop.” 

The girls continue to laugh as they all think up changes, until “Cool Bernard” is fighting off an army by himself, dramatically bending Polaris over for a kiss as Havok dies. The girls all laugh, while Bobby shivers, parts of him falling off. 

BRIAN: “Hey! Guys, cut it out! Can’t you see you’re upsetting him?” 

QUENTIN: “As if they care. Mr. Drake, I am so sorry for them. But this is what I’ve been dealing with!” 

Bobby struggles to get himself back together as he can. 

BOBBY: “It’s…fine. Promise. Let’s just move on to another story. Okay?” 

In Nova Roma, Dani, Rahne, and Xuan slink around the shadows, staying hidden so they can better assess the situation. Demons have occupied the city, the human population has been put in chains, and are being forced to pray to their new dark goddess. At least some of them are, as others are dragged off into a large building. 

DANI, whispering: “That’s the bathhouse. Wolfsbane, you remember Selene’s scent, right?” 

WOLFSBANE, in hybrid form, sniffing: “Aye. She’s there.”

Dani grumbles, wishing she was surprised.  She has bad memories of when the three of them were being washed and prepared to be sold into slavery there on Selene’s orders. Nice as it would be to just charge in, they need more information. Dani gives Karma the order to possess one of the demons. Karma understands what she needs to do as her eyes glow pink. 

Inside the elegant bathhouse, a demon awkwardly enters. Its eyes flash pink briefly to dictate that Karma has possessed it. She notes to herself that this feels a lot less wrong than taking control of another person. 

Entering the main area, Karma is disgusted by the sight of the demons bathing clearly terrified women. And in the main bath, Selene is washing Amara. 

Running her hands through Amara’s soapy hair, Selene tells the anxious Magma to try and relax. Even if she isn’t honored to have her hair washed by the glorious Selene, the oldest and most beautiful of Mutants, before she’s sold to some lovely buyers she found in Otherworld who just ADORE “Witchbreed”, she should just be happy to finally get to spend some real, quality time together. 

SELENE: “I doubt I have time to teach you to be less of a disappointment, but…” 

Magma groans as Selene squeezes the crown of her head. Amara refuses to give up or back down, keeping a cool head as she questions what Selene is doing. She thought she’d shifted goals to “bigger things” since the last time the X-Men kicked her butt. 

SELENE: “Oh, yes that much is true! I’m sure you’d agree Dark Goddess of All Reality suits me so much better than mere queenhood over a single world would. Sometimes, to get what you want, you have to do less favorable things. The important part is finding your own way to have fun with it.” 

MAGMA: “Your idea is fun is nothing but crushing others under your heels."

SELENE: “My very expensive heels, yes!” 

Selene works her hands further down Magma, making her squirm. If she could have taken just a little teeny bit after her, they could be having fun together. Magma makes clear she would sooner die a thousand deaths than be anything like Selene. 

SELENE, sarcastically: “You break your poor grandmother’s heart.” She laughs. “I’d almost be jealous of big blue if that wasn’t such an unattractive and mortal emotion.” 

Magma ignores that, and just insists to Selene the X-Men will stop her like always. Selene drags her sharp nailes across Magma’s neck as she says that that will never happen again. 

Two demons drag over a trembling girl whose just been bathed. Selene turns away from Magma to examine her. 

SELENE: “Hmmmm.” 

BEAT. 

Selene unhinges her jaw, and her mouth opens freakishly wife, as she sucks the life force out of the girl until she’s reduced to nothing more than a pile of bones on the floor. 

Magma and Karma cringe at the sight, while the demons laugh and Selene licks her lips. 

SELENE: “A little fishy, but I don’t mind. Now…” Selene turns and glares at Karma. “What was that about the X-Men?” 

Karma tries to run, but Selene is too fast, shooting and killing the demon she possessed, forcing her to awaken in her own body in shock. 

As Dani and Wolfsbane try to shake her back to reality and tell her it’s okay, they realize they have another problem, as demons surround them. 

In the school, Kitty and Surge walk down the hall, going to get the equipment they need from Kitty’s up till now unseen bedroom. Kitty brags that she’s kinda awesome at a lot of stuff and this whole operation would pretty much fall apart without her, so Noriko gets to choose whether she wants to think like her or fight like her. 

NORIKO: “You’ve seen my grades and still think I could manage the computer geek gig?” 

Kitty tells her to have some faith in herself. She knows a little about her past, and that she does her own light maintenance on her gauntlets; Noriko isn’t as dumb as she acts. 

KITTY: “No one could be as dumb as you act.” 

Surge takes the comment in stride and thanks her for the confidence, but she’ll just stick to punching things for now. That works well enough for Kitty, but they will be getting to everything eventually. 

Nori’s sure the jokes will come later if not sooner then. She’s been in America and off the streets for a year and a half, and she still doesn’t get some of the stereotypes Westerners have about Asian people. Like, they’re not all computer dorks! 

SURGE: “It’s almost as bad as the people who think we all know kung fu. Hello! I’m not even Chinese!” 

KITTY: “Stereotypes like that are always gross. Doesn’t matter if it's about ethnicity, queerness, Mutantdom, or anything else.” 

Kitty opens the door to her room, revealing not just an absolute pigsty, but one made of various, seemingly unrelated computer parts, and Japanese memorability and weaponry. 

KITTY: “Now then, are you ready to learn to be a ninja?!” 

Noriko bites her lip and smiles through grit teeth as she nods; she walked into this one. 

In Emma’s car, Julian is excited for the day ahead as he and Emma share a drink in the back

He was never that into the idea of one day working for his parents’ company, that was always more his brother, James’, thing, but he’s been getting taught and drilled on Emma’s shrewd and ruthless business tactics, “and all the boring actual business stuff”, for almost as long as he’s been at the school, and he’s more than ready to put it all into practice. 

Emma is happy to see him so energized, and also that he hasn’t mouthed off to her once so far about the Danger situation. Julian, keeping a cool head, tells her he still wants to smash the overgrown microchip for what it did to Sofia, but it’s not like it was just Emma’s choice to let her stay. 

JULIAN: “It was the X-Men thing to do…or whatever.” 

Emma is satisfied by his words, and after taking a sip, changes the subject. 

EMMA: “You never talk about your brother. Let me guess: Your parents forced you into competition with him your entire life and nothing you ever did was good enough in comparison?” 

JULIAN, amused: “Guess you’d know what that’s like, huh? Evil, crazy older sister and all?” 

EMMA: “Not just her. It was all of us in that madhouse pit against one another. I can’t imagine I’ll ever have children of my own but there’s a reason that, however I may have you and your friends to compete, I’ve never encouraged that form of rivalry.” 

JULIAN: “Just rivalries where the loser has to pick up trash, right? God, I can’t wait to see the look on Ashida’s face when you tell her I won.” 

Emma puts her drink down. She isn’t going to get too into this, she is here as a teacher, not a guidance counselor or mommy to hear all about the latest drama, so she’s going to make this quick: Sofia was a wonderful girl, but she’s gone. If he wants Surge, then he should pursue her, just as he would anything else he wants in life; she clearly shares his feelings. 

Julian is frozen by this but doesn’t get the chance to respond as the car stops. Emma hands him a change of clothes and tells him to get out; they aren’t going in together. Julian questions why, and why he was given nerd clothes instead of a suit. 

EMMA: “Darling, you have no experience. Did you think you’d just be starting as my assistant? You’re starting from the bottom just as I did…coffee monkey.” 

Julian hangs his head over how much this is going to blow. 

Outside Nova Roma, Magik is huddled in a ball against the cave wall, rocking back and forth. Cannonball and Sunspot stand to the side. 

Sam second-guesses going along with Beto’s scheme. Maybe they should just try and fight Selene themselves instead of forcing Magik out of her stupor. His sister’s been studying psychology, and he knows just from what she’s yammered about that what they’re about to do can’t be healthy. Let alone what he wants Sam to say about himself. 

BETO: “There isn’t a therapist in this world or any other qualified to help Illyana through traditional means. We are “this” close to having Magik back, and since no one else has figured out how to get her out of her own head, I have to do it myself. And it’s my script; I can take it. Just trust me, and let your friend Roberto do what he does best.” 

Sam needs another moment to think it over, settling on acceptance. 

SAM, smirking: “You mean looking at yourself in the mirror.” 

Roberto laughs. 

Hardcut to Cannonball being sent flying through the cave past Magik by a punch. Sam keeps himself from being flung off the ledge by flacking back into the cave, asking what the big idea is. Illyana looks up with big, wet eyes to see what’s going on. 

CANNONBALL, acting furious: “I said what I said! You don’t deserve to be an X-Man!” 

Sunspot, in his transformed form, blasts at Sam, but Cannonball flies straight through the attack. His punch is caught by Roberto. 

SUNSPOT: “Big words from the man who knows he wouldn’t cut it if he tried!” 

Roberto punches Sam in the gut, knocking him further back into the cave. 

SUNSPOT, surrounding himself in even more flames: “You have no idea what I’m dealing with!” 

Roberto blasts at Sam again, but his attack is intercepted, as a stepping disk opens in midair to catch the flames and send them elsewhere. 

MAGIK, on her feet: “What do you think you are doing?? Why are you fighting?!” 

Roberto tells Sam to go on and tell her. Tell her how he called him too selfish and manipulative to be an X-Man. More concerned with his company than his people. 

SAM, picking himself up: “Only speaking the truth. We all thought you’d grow up right like the rest of us, even when you doubted yourself, but you’ve turned out just like your old man.” 

ROBERTO: “How dare you!” 

Roberto is about to launch another passionate attack, but Magik gets between the men. 

MAGIK: “Cannonball. Leave. Help the others.” 

There’s faux tension in the air as Roberto and Sam stare each other down to sell the bit, before Cannonball says fine; he’ll leave the two monsters alone. 

Sam flies off as Illyana’s eyes widen, unprepared for that gut punch after how nice everyone’s been. 

Magik slumps back down on the ground. 

MAGIK: “Why did I even come here? Too scared to fight. And still just a monster. You…didn’t deserve that.” 

ROBERTO, sitting down next to her, doing his best depressed pout: “Maybe. Or maybe not.” 

In the classroom, Iceman tells the kids NOT to mess with his memories again. Especially since the next story is the biggest one of all, and doesn’t need any changing to be deemed “cool” by the kids. It’s the mission that changed everything. The one that proved the X-Men…

BOBBY, pointing at himself: “Could be more than just us.” 

Sooraya nods with a smile. 

SOORAYA: “Ms. Storm told me this one.” 

BRIAN: “I know where this is going, yeah.” 

ROXY, holding Cessily because she knows this conversation could make Cess insecure: “Already heard it too. Dr. McCoy was weirdly chill about being eaten.” 

ICEMAN: “Easy to joke when time has passed. Believe me, he was as freaked as the rest of us then.” 

Bobby begins his story. After a couple of years of serving as the original five (plus Havok and Polaris) X-Men, they were no longer kids who should be living in a school for the gifted. It was time to go to college! Professor X accepted their decision, after screaming at them a few times about how they were abdicating their responsibilities, but he did have one more mission for them. Cerebro had picked up some strange readings from an island in the Pacific, and he wanted them to investigate it. With how much power he was sensing, the Professor hoped that this could be the first member of a new team of X-Men. 

Unfortunately for them, it didn’t take long once they got to the island that they realized there were no Mutant humans there; the Mutant was the island itself. It slowly drained their life forces the moment they set foot, and by the time they realized what was happening, it spoke its name to them, “KRAKOA!”, and swallowed them into the island’s cold, dark underground. Iceman’s memory of what exactly was going on down there is fuzzy. 

SOPHIE: “A Mutant island that eats people?” 

ESME: “Sounds fun! We should buy it. Is it still alive?” 

QUENTIN: “Oh what, are your own private islands not enough for you? Do you want a living one because you’re that cruel, or an evil one because it’s more your speed?” 

ROXY: “Bitch, our parents belong to the same country club! You’ve had all the same advantages as them, you’ve got just as much of an ego, and you treat people just as badly. People don’t hate you before you’re a poor little nerd, they hate you for the same reasons they hate them; you’re a dick. Get over yourself.” 

While the Cuckoos laugh and cheer, Quentin is left unable to respond to that and even looks a little hurt. Brian is clearly worried, but before he can say anything, Iceman continues the story.

He wouldn’t necessarily call Krakoa “evil”, it’s just that the degree to which it was, and still is, alive, was more like animal life. It was sentient and sapient, but it was only acting on its natural drive to feed on human life energy. 

Still, they needed to be saved, so Professor X traveled around the world and recruited a new team of X-Men: Storm, Wolverine, Banshee, Nightcrawler, Colossus, Sunfire, and Thunderbird. 

CESSILY: “Storm was the only new woman? No wonder Hellion said the professor sucks.” 

Iceman explains that this team, despite what they may think, did not gel at all. Hardly the “family” they’d become. Wolverine and Thunderbird had bad attitudes and didn’t like working with others, Sunfire was just a dick, Storm and Colossus were completely jarred by life outside Kenya and Russia, respectively, and Banshee, an old friend of the professor’s, felt weighed down by a bunch of kids.

But still, they had a job to do. Just like the old team, they weren’t half as strong as they are now, but they didn’t even have teamwork and training on their side. They didn’t even like each other!  Even still, somehow, they made it work, beat Krakoa, and saved the original team. 

Obviously, this new team didn’t last. Sunfire quit immediately after the Krakoa mission, and, as the kids probably already know, Thunderbird was Warpath’s brother who died on only their second mission, leading Cyclops and Jean to return. 

Still, the point is the lesson this squad clearly MOST needs to learn, and the other side of the first lesson. Even if they aren’t friends or a team now, even if they can’t see past each other’s differences, and there are egos flying around, the only way they’ll ever be X-Men is if they can all find a way to work together. If they can’t even do that, what hope do they have of gelling with other teammates? 

There’s a brief silence, with Bobby taking a breath, pleased with how he got all that out. 

DUST: “Except that doesn’t apply here.” 

BOBBY, face falling: “Huh?” 

ROXY: “Us and the Cuckoos having a big heart-to-heart is what led us to detention in the first place.” 

CESSILY: “And just cause I can’t stand his new friend doesn’t mean Brian isn’t still my guy.” 

PHOEBE: “The only one causing any problems…” 

CELESTE: “...is Quentin.” 

MINDEE: “Just replace him with Armor and everything will be fine!” 

SOPHIE, changing the mindvision to replace Sunfire and Thunderbird with Kitty and Presitge: “See? As easy as that.” 

Bobby groans as his memories are messed with again. Quentin, meanwhile, has had enough. Just because his…parents…are making him come to this stupid school doesn’t mean he has to do whatever the teachers say; he’d be ecstatic to get thrown home and away from all these stuck-up, catty bitches! 

As Quentin stands, welling up, the girls all boo him. Brian also stands, trying to tell Quentin to calm down; maybe they should just try out Iceman’s advice. Let everything go. 

QUENTIN: “Forget it! They all want me gone? I’m gone! The X-Men can give me whatever punishment they want. I know my power. I know my worth. They can’t make me do anything.” 

Quentin flies off at super speed as a purple streak, telekinetically knocking over desks and papers in the process. 

Brian is distraught by Quentin’s pain and turns to glare at the girls. Cessily, Roxy, and Soo actually do look like they feel a little bad, while the Cuckoos are ready to celebrate making him cry. 

Iceman shakes his head. He can’t believe this. He’s been working with Hellion and Surge for almost a year, but it’s no wonder they’re the X-Men already; they may bicker and bitch, but there’s respect. He’s not seeing any of that here. Not from any of the telepaths, not from the best friends who are standing on opposite sides of this feud, and definitely not for him and what he has to say. 

ICEMAN: “If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go find Quentin before he blows up half the school in a fit. You kids don’t move.” 

Iceman leaves, leaving Brian and his friends looking disappointed in themselves. 

BEAT. 

MINDEE: “Did we say something wrong?” 

Everyone glares at Mindee. 

In Nova Roma, Dani and Wolfsbane battle against demons, Dani shooting them through the head with spirit arrows, while Wolfsbane has separated herself into a pack of wolves, one standing by near Karma, while the others maul and tear. 

Dani attempts to encourage Rahne by saying they aren’t dying today and Magneto wouldn’t have sent them on this mission if they couldn’t get it done. Rahne just laughs though. Does she look afraid? And, speaking of, what was going on with her and Magneto earlier anyway? 

DANI: “Nothing. Just frustration. Just looking around at everyone we work with, everyone we have worked with…it’s not that hard to just be good, is it?” 

WOLFSBANE: “It shouldn’t be…” Rahne slashes out a demon’s eyes. “But we’ve never had the same responsibilities.” 

DANI: “Maybe, but I find it hard to believe we’d fall prey to the same vices.” 

Rahne thinks she recalls her Mummy saying something about this once, but before she can say it, a demon sneaks behind her and moves to kill Karma. 

Karma, however, just smirks as she runs the demon through with her sword, before decapitating it, having just been playing weak. 

KARMA: “Only a few left.” 

Just then, Cannonball arrives, crashing through and taking care of the remaining horde. 

CANNONBALL: “ You’re welcome, ladies. No need to thank me.” 

DANI: “About to try and show up late and take all the credit? I know it’s what you’re best at.” 

Karma shuts this down before they can get more into bickering. Selene is in the bathhouse, with Amara and a bunch of other girls who she’s planning on either eating or selling to Otherworld as slaves. Do they move in now, or wait for Sunspot to maybe come back with Magik? 

The question is answered for them, as a geyser of lava crashes through the roof of the bathhouse. Magma soars up through it and propels herself toward the New Mutants. On impact, the ground shakes beneath them, as cracks in the Earth filled with lava cover the surface. 

The others are worried about what’s going on, as Amara’s eyes are blowing black and she’s moaning in agony. 

DANI: “Amara? It’s us. It’s okay.” 

Magma screams as she blasts her friends, Sam only barely managing to knock the girls out of harm’s way. 

MAGMA, desperate, in pain, and not in control: “Run.” 

In the school’s gymnasium, Noriko, dressed in a blue gi, is mimicking Kitty as she runs her through basic martial arts forms. The kids have of course all been learning self-defense to complement their powers, but taking things to the next level will beautifully compliment Nori’s speed; likewise with stealth training. 

KITTY: “I think the only one of you besides Laura who was studying anything like this was–” 

NORIKO: “Sofia. From Laura.” 

Kitty cringes. Her and her big mouth. 

KITTY: “Anyway! You’re looking good! I am soooo never letting Emma live this down.” Kitty notices the hurt expression on Kitty’s face. “I bet you’re looking forward to seeing Julian work his ass off.” 

Nori isn’t sure what she’s getting at; she said earlier it would be funny, yeah. Kitty tells her she doesn’t need to play dumb; she and Emma connected the dots earlier. They know she and Hellion are into each other. 

Nori is embarrassed, blushing, but Kitty tells her it just makes sense. They worked out all the real beef between them last year, and they spent the last 8 months spending pretty much all of their free time alone together. Far as she knows, they’re both straight horny teens, so it’d be weird if feelings hadn’t cropped up. 

Nori cringes…and admits the feelings aren’t new. Nor are they ones they haven’t acted on before. Kitty needs her to elaborate on that. 

NORI: “Last year, after the Hellions thing, but before he and Sofia got back together, we kinda…” 

KITTY, eyes widened: “Yeah, I guess that would make trying things again a little awkward.” 

Even still, if it's what she wants, Kitty thinks Surge should push through the nerves. 

KITTY, somber: “Sometimes you don’t know what you have until it's gone. You don’t want any regrets. You don’t want to leave things unsaid.” 

Nori, still unsure, nods. 

Kitty sees the mood needs to be uplifted again, and leaps back, hurling shuriken at Noriko. Nori scrambles, whaling as she only barely catches them all at super speed Even then, without her gauntlets, her hands would have been completely cut up. 

NORIKO: “What the Hell?!” 

Kitty laughs. For all they know, Emma could have walked Hellion through a hostile takeover by now. They aren’t going to win if they only run through basic forms today. It’s time for introductory weaponry! 

SURGE: “And you couldn’t have just handed me the things?!” 

KITTY: “Kid, you’re lucky I haven’t chopped off that blue hair and am actually bothering to teach. My master, Ogun, just tortured me and psychically put all this stuff in my head.” 

SURGE: “That…would explain how you had time to learn this. Also, the more I learn, the more your childhood sounds like a nightmare.” 

Kitty tilts her head up and laughs, grinning. 

KITTY: “Ha ha. Yeah.” 

Nori waits for her to say something but it doesn’t come. Instead, Kitty roundhouse kicks Noriko in the face. 

KITTY: “Targets! Now!” 

In the cave, Roberto and Illyana slump against the wall. Illyana questions what that was all about. It better not have been some different kind of trick. She’s pretty sure she’s still strong enough to beat HIM up. 

Roberto, with a weak smile, is sure she is. And she knows his games. This isn’t that. This is, well…

ROBERTO: “Not entirely undeserved.” 

Roberto explains how he recently resurrected Da Costa International and has been doing much better than the last time he operated it. But the only reason he has been more successful is because he hasn’t been doing things his way; he’s been doing them more like his father would. 

ROBERTO: “Do you remember anything about him?” 

ILLYANA: “I…yes. He was Hellfire.” 

Roberto confirms that, and elaborates that he doesn’t care for the, largely legal, if not moral, methods by which he’s been going about getting the company back into all its old industries and more, but it’s what he sees as a necessary precaution. If the X-Men fail, if superheroes can’t protect Mutantkind, then the shield he’s building will. 

ROBERTO: “Of all people, I thought I could trust Sam with some of what I’m forcing myself to do. But, as you saw, he just sees another villain for it. And do you know what the worst part is?” Magik stares intently. “I can’t even blame him. It’s what I sometimes see in the mirror. What enraged me was his insults toward my father. Yes, he was evil, no, I couldn’t trust him…but he did it all for me. His motives were as selfless as my own.” Roberto snickers as he casts his head down. “What do my choices in role models say about me, Illyana? A maniacal billionaire, a mass-murdering soldier, and Magneto. It’s a miracle I didn’t side with Darkchylde when she first emerged.” 

Illyana holds her stare on Beto for a few moments before speaking. 

YANA: “I wouldn’t call him a role model…but Belasco shaped me half my life. Forget Darkchylde. I, err, the real Illyana, was a monster before you and she ever met.” She smiles just a bit. “And she also chose Teach.” 

ROBERTO: “Far be it from me to tell a lady I know about her about her than herself, you all slapped me around plenty for that when we were younger as is…but you are the real Magik.” Beto continues even as Magik tries cutting him off. “I know. You don’t think you are. Because you don’t have a soul, because there’s still some demon…do you really expect us to care? You always considered yourself a monster, always hiding from us for our “own good”. If anything, you acting like this only proves more that you’re Magik.” 

Illyana shakes her head, groaning as she stands up. He doesn’t get it! The pain coming from the emptiness inside her, from that sliver of her that’s still Darkchylde, that’s still pure darkness, is overwhelming. It makes her feel like no matter what she does, all she will do is hurt and kill. She can’t take it. 

Roberto stands and admits he’d be talking far beyond his scope if he tried addressing any of what she’s feeling, but he hopes she won’t find it insulting if he compares them. Because all of this, to him, just sounds like guilt. Something he’s gotten far too accustomed to. But the thing is, whatever she’s guilty about, be it the deaths in Russia or Karma’s leg or anything else, they don’t care. That wasn’t her, and they are all just ecstatic she’s back. And so long as they’re alive, they’ll make sure Magik never travels down the path she fears. 

ROBERTO: “I’m sure, very soon, you’ll be cocky enough again to think you don’t even need us.” 

Illyana is visibly moved by his words, but Roberto thinks this performance needs one last touch. He leans over and whispers something in Illyana’s ear. The audience can’t hear, but she completely perks up. 

ILLYANA: “HUUUUUH?” 

A light returns to Illyana’s eyes as she gets herself pumped. Her friends will support her as long as they’re alive, but that won’t be much longer if they’re fighting Selene without her. 

ROBERTO, failing to contain his smugness: “You think you can stop her now?” 

MAGIK: “Please! I am the queen of Limbo! I can do anything.” BEAT. “Reminds me I need to stop back down there; I’ve been leaving everything to Despair, and I’m not sure that was my best choice.” Magik opens a stepping disc. “Thank you, Roberto. You aren’t a monster either. Just a dork who’s too smart for his own good. Now, come on!” 

Magik jumps through her disc. Sunspot takes a moment to pull out a comb and slick back his hair before transforming. 

ROBERTO: “Roberto accomplished.” 

He jumps through the portal behind Magik. 

In the school, Quentin is in the science room with Martha the brain, working on her hover device to allow it to let her move a little faster. While he’s helping her, he’s also using this as a chance to rant to someone who can’t cut him off. 

QUENTIN: “They’re all such losers, No-Girl! At least where it counts. If they didn’t have me to pick on, I bet they’d return to fighting each other. In the real world, their cattiness and shallowness will only lead to failure and abusive husbands, while I’m raking in billions.” He sighs. “You’re almost lucky you don’t have a body; you don’t have to worry about the horror of girl world or its societal expectations.” 

The camera holds on Martha as if she were performing an eye-roll. 

Iceman enters, having come to check on Quentin. He asks Martha if they can have the room, and she obliges. Quentin tells him he doesn’t need to be here, but Iceman reminds him he’s supposed to be in detention and he’s in charge of that, so he kinda does. 

BOBBY: “If you really don’t want to be on the squad, we can hand you back to Karma. The X-Men just thought you deserved a shot.” 

Quentin says Bobby doesn’t understand. No one understands. The only one who even came close was Ms. Grey. It took a god even to try and understand his genius. 

BOBBY: “What about Tag?” 

QUENTIN: “He’s…different.” 

Quentin explains what made him blow up back there wasn’t anything the girls were saying, specifically. He’s beyond their petty insults. But Roxy mentioned his parents and the similarities in their backgrounds and…

QUENTIN: “While we were all away, my parents decided 17 was old enough for me to know. I’m adopted. And, apparently, that’s a decision they regret. When I turn 18, they’re done with me. The school re-opening was a blessing for them.” 

Iceman hums, “oh shit” under his breath. Quentin asks if he could understand what that’s like. For your whole life to be a lie and to be ripped out from under you. 

ICEMAN: “Better than you’d think. And when it comes to bad, racist parents? Take a look around this place. You’re with the best company you’ll find.” 

Quentin doesn’t think so. No one will get him. No one even likes him! Iceman acknowledges that’s true, but does he get the others? Does he acknowledge their own struggles? While there’s no excusing the Cuckoos’ behavior, has he ever thought that maybe his own perspective of things is wrong? That the world isn’t necessarily how he sees it? 

QUENTIN: “Of course I!...haven’t.” 

Quentin hangs his head. He just doesn’t know what to do. Or what he’s going to do. Iceman assures him, no matter how much he hates it here, he’ll always have a home here. And if he’s willing to put in the work, he can even find a family. 

QUENTIN: “What? Like with the squad and your junior X-Men?” 

ICEMAN: “If that’s what you want, yeah.” 

Bobby tells him the X-Men have a friend: Dr. Sean Garrison. He’s a baseline human, but a brilliant therapist and one of the biggest advocates for Mutants. He thinks maybe talking to him would do him some good. 

ICEMAN: “Or, you know, you can blow me up and go on a rant about how everything sucks and keep feeling miserable.” 

Quentin laughs. He’ll think about it. And he thanks Mr. Drake. He didn’t think much of the clown before, but now he gets why Brian looks up to him. 

There’s a knock on the door, quickly followed by Brian and the girls all entering. Quentin questions what they want now. The Cuckoos all look grumpy and annoyed, but Cessily, Sooraya, and Roxy nudge them forward. 

 The Cuckoos, clearly being forced into it, apologize to Quentin. He’s a loser with terrible opinions, but that doesn’t mean they should harass him. More sincerely, Cessily apologizes. After the whole “Hellions” thing, she should have known better than getting carried away in this. Roxy and Soo agree; it was just supposed to be the one prank, but then things escalated. 

QUENTIN: “Hmph! Well, I’m glad you all learned your lessons.” 

BRIAN, no more time for this shit: “Dude. Come on.” 

Quentin sighs and, begrudgingly, apologizes for the nightmares. And a couple of instances of potential hyperbole from his blog.

BRIAN, exasperated: “It’s a start.” 

Iceman tosses his arms up, saying this is what he wanted to see. This olive branch may be  thin, but it can grow. He’s seen it happen before. Just cause he’s such a nice guy, he’s gonna let them out of detention early so they can do some bonding, probably at that coffee shop they love so much he’s guessing. 

Cessily’s actually interested in trying the place the old X-Men used to go to, but Iceman laughs that that place doesn’t exist anymore; Emma bought it, tore it down, and turned it into a sushi bar years ago just to screw with them. 

ROXY: “Still better than what she did to Firestar.” 

The kids all hum in agreement. They are ready to get out of here though, thanking Iceman and filing out. Quentin doesn’t initially stand, but Brian smiles and offers him a hand. He accepts it and they follow after the girls, but Bobby asks Brian to stay back just for a second; he told him he wanted to speak to him later, and he’s got something big to tell him.

Brian and Quentin do their secret handshake, and Quentin exits. Brian sits down with Bobby and the audio cuts out as we pan back, just seeing their mouths move. Brian hugs Bobby in excitement, Bobby hugging the kid back. 

In Nova Roma, Dani, Karma, Cannonball and Wolfsbane try to fight their out of control friend as she burns and quakes everything around her. Selene’s spell is too powerful for Karma to take control over Magma, Wolfsbane can’t get close due to the heat, and Dani can’t get a clear shot with her bow because of the shaking and shattering ground. 

Cannonball crashes into Amara, only semi-burnt due to being semi-invincible while blasting, and knocks her out. He apologizes for that, but Magma gets right back up, her body moving on its own under Selene’s control without Amara being concious. She blasts at Sam, with him only surviving by flying through the flames. 

Sam would love to make a joke about Rome burning in a day right now, but he doesn’t want that to be his last joke. 

He and the girls are unsure what else they can do as Magma unleashing a hellstorm of flames upon them. It looks like its over, but the New Mutants are saved by the arrival of Magik and Sunspot in front of them, Roberto absorbing not only the attack, but sucking in all the surrounding fires around the city. 

Sunspot is cheered on both by and his friends and the few citizens who haven’t run away. 

RAHNE: “Could you have cut it any closer though?” 

ROBERTO: “You know I love my dramatic timing, but in this case, I swear it was unintentional.” 

DANI: “What about you, Magik? Feeling any better?” 

MAGIK, flashes a grin at Dani before smirking: ‘I will in a moment.” 

As Magma launches another attack, Sunspot acting as a sheild, Magik chants in a strange language. Illyana plunges her hand through her chest. The others are worried, but Illyana just snickers. 

In a flash of darkness, Magik yanks her hang out of her chest, pulling from it an all black sword. 

KARMA: “What is that?” 

MAGIK: “Leftover demon bits. I’d rather be a total husk than have them in me. I think I will call this…the anti-soul sword. Not as good as the real deal, but it should do.” 

Sunspot and Magik exchanging nods, Roberto races forward, leading around the shattering terrain and absorbing everything Magma throws at him. He tackles her to the ground, holding her with his more amped up than ever strength. Yana appears in front of him through a disc and slams a hand down on Magma’s face. Honestly? She’s not actually sure she can beat Selene. But one of her spells? Pfft. 

Magma’s body screams as Illyana chants, until the black disappears from Amara’s eyes and she jolts awake. 

Everyone is thrilled, momentarily forgetting that the real fight is still ahead, as they’re overjoyed by Magma being safe and Illyana, seemingly, being her old self. 

Magma hugs her. 

MAGMA: “Thank you so much. Is it really you?” 

ILLYANA: “Well, I did just save all of you from certain death like it was nothing. That certainly sounds like me!” 

Magik laughs obnoxiously. The others a teeny bit annoyed, but they’re more happy than anything else to see this. Magik’s laughter is briefly interrupted by a quick flashback to her laughing the same way as a kid. 

Everyone gets a chance to hug or pat Illyana on the back, but they still have a job to do. 

SAM: “You up for helping to take Selene down, Magma?” 

MAGMA: “Unquestionably.” 

The seven New Mutants dash forward through the rubble of the city and into the, seemingly by magic, untouched bathhouse. However, they find something strange when they enter. 

DANI: “No sign of Selene. Or any demons at all.” 

The seven rush back outside…where they find the blue sky shining like normal and the demons all gone. 

DANI: “Did…she run away?” 

MAGIK: “Ha! She was proabbly too scared to fight me now that I’m back and better than ever.” 

Roberto wishes he could believe it’s that simple…but he doubts it. 

Later, in Magneto’s office, he and Roberto clink liquor glasses. Erik congragulates him on a job well done. Selene may still be out there, plotting, but Nova Roma still needed to be saved in the now, and having Magik on the team will only be a benefit down the line. 

Roberto thanks him, explaining that he’s planning on heading back to Nova Roma soon. The others are all still taking care of injured citizens and helping them rebuild from all the destruction. 

ROBERTO: “Magma got dibs on destroying Selene’s statues.” 

He only came ahead so he could inform Magneto of how things went. Erik appreciates that, but he’s also curious about how much of what he told Magik was true. 

ROBERTO, casually: “Enough.” 

 This concerns Magneto. He’s not going to pry, Sunspot is his own man, but he’d appreciate knowing who his silent partner is whose allowed him to build his company back up so quickly. He’d like to know if he should be concerned. 

Roberto wishes he could tell his old headmaster that, but…

SUNSPOT: *SHRUGS* 

Magneto doesn’t understand why he’s being like this. When he served him on Genosha, he trusted Sunspot completely. He could have just as easily planted Quicksilver or Polaris on the X-Men, but he believed Roberto was the best man for the job. And he proved him right. He stayed unnoticed, delivered his reports, and, when Magneto was gone, took the steps necessary to start planning ahead. 

MAGNETO: “I am proud of you. I still trust you now. And, moving forward, I would like for you to be a bigger part of this team. You’ve earned that. But I need to know that you still trust me.” 

Roberto looks down into what little is left of his drink, his reflection staring back at him. He chugs the rest of the liquor down and slams the glass down on the table. 

ROBERTO: “I appreciate the support, Headmaster. I do still trust you, and I appreciate the interest…but I know what I’m doing.” 

Roberto thanks him for the drink, leaving to go wash up before he returns to help the others. 

Magneto sips his own drink disappointed and worried. A stepping disc appears next to him and Magik pops out. 

MAGNETO, eyes wide with relief: “Illyana.” 

ILLYANA: “Hey, Teach!” Yana kisses the top of his helmet. “Bye teach!” 

Magik runs off. In spite of the conversation he just had, Erik can’t help but smile. 

In the hall, Kitty is helping a weary Noriko walk. Kitty’s really sorry; she did NOT mean for Surge to get this banged up. She’s never really taught this before and she didn’t really know what she was doing. If she doesn’t want to keep doing this, they don’t have to. Noriko tells her to forget that. That was fun! And she hasn’t even gotten to use a katana yet. If she’s gonna be a stereotype, she’s going all in, baby. Kitty laughs, happy to hear it. 

SURGE: “I guess we’re going to have clean though, huh?” 

KITTY: “Well, not exactly.” 

The two turn a corner, where Julian is cleaning up trash while betrated by Emma. 

NORI, ecstatic: “They lost?!” 

KITTY: “Uhhh, no. Turns out Emma made Hellion into a coffee monkey, forgetting that people who start from the bottom tend to actually have experience with menial tasks; Hellion does not.” 

NORI, laughing: “That bad?” 

EMMA: “It was a disaster!” 

Noriko questions why Emma isn’t cleaning, with Kitty explaining that this made them realize Nori doesn’t have much experience with menial chores either. Kitty phases her hand into a closet and grabs a mop bucket for her. 

KITTY: “Doop’s really sick it seems so…we’ll move today’s stakes to tomorrow.” 

Surge and is  annoyed, and ready to throw a tantrum after the day she’s had, but then she hears Julian laughing. She turns around and sees the smug grin on his face. 

SURGE: SIGH “Fine. I guess I’ll help.” 

Surge goes to help Julian clean, the two making sneering googly-eyes at each other as Emma continues to lambast Hellion. 

Kitty is getting a good laugh out this, when…

“KITTY!” 

Kitty turns around, only to be swept off her feet by Magik, who proceeds to plant a kiss on her mouth. Kitty is in stunned silence. 

MAGIK, grinning from ear to ear: “We saved the day! Beto got me out of my funk. I know I am no monster. And…he told me what you always wanted to do.” Magik cackles as she sets Kitty down. “I have to go back to Nova Roma to help with repairs, but…A HA HA HA!  It’s good to be back!” 

Magik disappears through a stepping disc, Kitty still not having managed to get a word out. 

EMMA, approaching: “I cannot say I predicted that.” 

KITTY: “Y-yeah. Me neither.” 

EMMA: “Are you interested? “

KITTY, getting a hold of herself: “That is NONE of your business. You should just be focused on trying not to lose when we play for real tomorrow.” 

EMMA: “Oh, I’m sure things will go much better for us once the kinks are worked out.” 

The two look on as Noriko and Julian laugh and clean together. 

EMMA: “I’m surprised you went the ninja route. There is only darkness in that chapter of your life.” 

KITTY: “No matter what you say, we don’t have much in common. But we both had our childhoods corrupted by evil men. For you, your adulthood too. But we still use what we learned from them for good. And they can too.” 

Emma would propose a toast to that, but Kitty doesn’t carry around a flask - like a savage. Even if she did though, Kitty can’t drink right now; she has to figure out what the Hell she’s gonna do when Magik gets back. 

Emma beams at both Kitty as she runs off, and at Julian and Noriko. 

In Egypt, we get an establishing shot of Apocalypse’s underground base. Inside the throne room, Akkaba cultists are present, as is Death. Death, leaning against a wall, lights up a cigarette and smokes it. The smoke travels toward the throne, but it’s blown away by a gentle wind. 

DEATH, amused: “Sorry about that.” 

From a suddenly emerging cloud of black smoke, Selene appears. 

SELENE: “The splendid Selene has returned! All requests have been obliged. Now, I think we need to have a little chat…War.” 

The camera pans up the throne, revealing Sofia, no longer dressed in her Apocalypse armor, but in a new set of armor resembling a Venezuelan Devil Dancer, colored in both her old gold and white, and Apocalypse-blue. She is also still wearing her mother’s bracelet. 

DEATH: “She is only War to her Horsemen. You may address her as Lady Akkaba.” 

Selene laughs at that. The minion attempting to give her orders. 

SOFIA, eyes narrowed behind her mask: “What do you wish to speak about?” 

SELENE: “Oh, you know, just girl things. Like, for example, why did you hire me for a job and then pull me out before it was done?” 

SOFIA: “My reasons are my own.” 

SELENE: “Oh! I see! Well, would you like to know what I think? I think that you hired me to lure out and kill Sunspot, Magik, and Kitty Pryde, something I was more than happy to do, especially since it meant getting to see my favorite granddaughter…but you didn’t expect the other New Mutants to come along. And you didn’t want me to kill poor Ms. Moonstar, did you?” 

Selene mocks Sofia with her smirk, as Death reaches for his sword, awaiting his master’s orders. 

SOFIA: “Death…bring her her payment.” 

Death is hesitant to listen, wanting to cut Selene down, but he does as he’s told. While Death is away, Selene mocks that there’s nothing wrong with caring about others. She finds it gross, but she knows it works for others. It’s a bit of a hazard for wannabee world-conquering empresses though. 

Sofia doesn’t respond, but the camera focus on parts of her tensing up. 

Death returns with a shining object that looks halfway between a vase and a lava lamp, tossing it to Selene. 

SELENE, stroking the object: “Oh, there are you my pretty. Apocalypse borrowed so many of my toys over the millenia. It was very rude of him to never give this one back.” 

Selene tells “Lady Akkaba” that the only reason she never took it back was because Big Blue was one of the few men alive with the power to match her own. She was just devastated to hear about what happened to him, but following his defeat, if she’d really wanted to, she could have walked right in here, taken what’s hers back and killed everyone present. 

SOFIA: “Do not underestimate my power. We are both External.” 

Selene laughs. Whatever Apocalypse did to her, she’s no External. And frankly, it’s rude to say otherwise. 

SELENE: “But, since you think us equals apparently…fight back.” 

Selene unhinges her jaw and begins eating the life force of Sofia, Death, and all the cultists, the latter of whome are immediately reduced to dust. Sofia and Death are completely helpless and only survive by Selene’s mercy, as she ceases her attack. Both pant heavily. 

SELENE: “Point proven?” 

Selene leaps over to Sofia, hovering right over her. She grabs her by the chin. 

SELENE: “The only reason I truly agreed to all this? I wanted to see what Apocalypse’s chosen heir had in her. And I couldn’t be less impressed.” She cackles as she lightly crushes Sofia’s jaw in her grip. “Whether you think you’re the new Mutant savior or the new big bad or maybe even both, let’s get something straight: you will never defeat the X-Men. And it’s not because they’re stronger than you, although, they are; it’s because stregnth alone cannot beat them, or else they would have fallen time after time before. Call it…an X-factor. Whatever it is, there is nothing special about you, little girl, that will let you succeed where I and so many others have failed. And when you do inevitably lose? You better pray that they still care for you, as you do for them.” 

Selene let’s go of Sofia, casually walking down the staircase. Death wants to attack her, but Sofia raises her hand, stopping him even as she gasps. 

SELENE: “This was fun. Let’s never do it again. Ta ta…Sofia.” 

Selene disappears in a cloud of black smoke. And all Lady Akkaba can do is bang her hands on her throne and shout. 

[grayzeppelin281]

Hey Gray, I have decided to review and ask about the main characters from your KFP fanfiction series…the three former villains, aka the Trinity. The third and the last one would be…the Beast of Vengeance, Maker of Widows, and the Mightiest Warrior, General Kai!

I love the idea of making him a widower. It surely adds a deeper lore on him. Like I said before, one of the things that I was disappointed in the third movie was the lack of depth in Kai's backstory(just like you also said!). And giving him a long-lost family was a great idea. So, what made you write this fabulous backstory?

One thing I was confused about while reading your story was…What exactly is Wugu's current status?More like...

-Is she the same as Kai's Jade amulet? If so, how can she talk and interact with him?

-Or is she a spirit? If so, shouldn't she be at the Spirit Realm? How can she appear in a mortal world?

-I noticed that Wugu both appeared in Kai's necklace and Xing's katana(Wugu's sword). Then… Is the necklace and the pendant some kind of anchor that Wugu's soul is in, and she can travel between the two objects

3. What is the backstory of Wugu? Since she is the sister(P.S: is she older or younger sister?) of the main villain Huoju, I think her story would be interesting too. like… -How, and why did she escape from Huoju? -How did Kai and Wugu meet each other? How did they fall in love and eventually get married?(I can't imagine Kai being 'romantic', haha) -Did Wugu know about Kai's corruption? If she did, how did she think about it? Umm you might have to answer this question by making an another post…

Alright, so that's it for our General, Gray! I will be waiting for your kind reply!

Alright, Righteous Flames! I can not deny that General Kai is my favorite one who is the least popular, unlike Shen and Tai Lung. The lore I did dig in a writing history on his recognition as the Maker of Widows presents him to be a husband killer, proving his vengeance by slaughtering enemies who are married - many wives watched their husbands die by the hooves of General Kai, became widows. This may contain spoilers from my series, The Mightiest Warriors, so if anyone hasn't read, avoid you can! I will answer as little as possible for our giant friend.

1A. Yes! I did mention the lack of depths for Kai's background story that needs to be expanded more. Oogway's story is there, and we need to hear Kai's story as well - we want to know why his brother betrayed him. What other titles did he achieve for and among the good and bad ones? With a hint of Maker of Widows title, I did expand his tragic event that caused the death of his beloved wife Wugu, making him a monster everyone feared of his wrath.

1B. The more I write for Kai's tale, the more I like to understand he had his family during the Great War events in the first place. Since writing The Trinity Book I, I created an idea for Kai to discover his lost memory of his own family member - one of his own who fought beside the warlords. A mystery warrior. What I see Kai's type, mostly everyone I hear, he's like a dad figure, so when I generated ideas to build the warlord's complex tale, after I watched Disney's Treasure Planet (Treasure Island) with Silver and Jim, the hidden symbolism of a father and son truly makes me want to write for Kai and one of my characters (The yak warlord was a father before in his past life, and promising himself to never lose another son, he will protect the important one until his last breath).

2A. (Is Wugu the same as Kai's amulet?)

Now, for my OC's current status, Wugu's essence rests in her amber amulet. Unlike Kai claiming chi from souls to enchance his strength and power, and using Oogway's amulet around his neck last time, her necklace is like a totem charm, her power of whispers she can communicate with her husband, including her defensive abilities to cast her spells against those who harm him, and her healing melody to relieve those around Wugu's proximity. (Her strength is limited.)

2B. (Wugu's appearance in her necklace and Chen Xing's sword)

As for the ancient weapon (Heaven's Wrath) from the falling stars, Wugu, among previous owners who grasped the katana from different times, used to carry her weapon across Great War battles with Generals. After her death, the weapon waits for its chosen wielder, and as part of the previous owner, Wugu can transfer her soul from her amber necklace to straight katana. Same ability to speak with a new wielder, but it is very defensive and lethal, unlike previous sword owners.

Wugu's Background Story

Okay. This appears to be more complicated than ever. Some of these are planning in the works, mostly in spoilers, so I'll share some lore under WIP.

3A. Wugu is a young sister of my main villain Prince Huoju, a few minutes younger than him (They were born as twin siblings, giving references of Luke and Leia Skywalker from Star Wars Original Trilogy, and Prince Nuada and Princess Nuala from Hellboy II: The Golden Army.)

Her background tale (what I'll be digging in this lore) appears to be tragic. What I meant tragic, was their father Emperor Khan became a stubborn leader who wished to erase histories of China and essentials of martial arts; he and his ally (mystery character) forced Huoju to march his army and destroy Qing Temple, where Oogway and his companions built Kung Fu, Wing Chun, and Tai Chi, all three into one essence of martial arts tranquility.

3B. After a recent tragedy event of the Desolation of Qing Temple, the siblings received their curse from Emperor Khan's ally. Wugu's failed attempt was for her convincing Huoju not to lay destruction across temples, but her brother needed to save his own fur from abandoning their legacy. The curse they received was immortality, immune from the mortal age. Realizing her father was much cruelty to despising his own daughter, giving his son the only opportunity to kill his own sister for being a worthless blood, Wugu fled and survived from her father and brother.

3C. (First encounter of Kai and Wugu) Shhhh. Our friend's tale is under progression and will prevail. Will be updating a marriage scene during the last fifteen years before the Great War's end. *Sighs* I really need to learn romance someday (friendship and family are what I am good at).

3D. (Did Wugu know about Kai's corruption?) Yes. She knew her soulmate went to a chi corruption when Kai discovered his ways to claim souls, craving for more to be stronger. Feared that Kai continued to claim masters and a few of worthy for collection (shut up, Grievous!), and fill with loathsomeness against Oogway for panda monks who opened his eyes for the change, Wugu had no magic to suppress his dark chi from an ancient enemy who claimed others like Kai.

That's the last one for the three baddies! Thank you for all the questions, Righteous Flames!

[socaprince]

SOCA THERAPY - JUNE 23, 2024

Soca Therapy Playlist

Sunday June 23rd 2024

Making You Wine From 6-9p on Flow 98.7fm Toronto

Carnival Jumbie (Dr. Jay Plate) - Problem Child

Soca Therapy - Lil Rick x King Bubba

Dose - Nicki Pierre x Fryktion

Whipped - Jamesy P x Fryktion

Rell Mash Up - King James x Fryktion

Safe Space - Rae x Fryktion

Starta Pack - Tionne Hernandez

Pampalam - Faith Callender

Road Friends - Nessa Preppy x Skinny Fabulous

Magnificent - Sackie

Fully Bad - Skinny Fabulous

Carnival Contract - Bunji Garlin

Good Medicine - Jaiga

Inventor (Izaman) - Olatunji

Jouvert Morning - J Fiyre

In The Center (BD Did It) - GBM Nutron x Farmer Nappy

Everytime - Nadia Batson

Life After Fete - Kerwin Du Bois

Soca Therapy - Patrice Roberts

Outside Nice - Kernal Roberts

Can't Take My Joy - Terri Lyons x DJ Private Ryan

New Day - Kerwin Du Bois x Teddyson John

Human - Machel Montano

Mon Bon Ami - Angela Hunte

Family - Destra

Where I Am - Freetown Collective

Welcome To Spice Mas - V'ghn

Tombstone - Mandella Linkz

Greater - Dash

TOP 7 COUNTDOWN - Powered By The Soca Source

From Apple Music's Top 100 Chart In Grenada

7. Horny (Riddim X) - Muddy

6. Addicted - Jab King x Travis World

5. Runaway - Mical Teja

4. Tack Back - Kes x Tano

3. Slip In - Geo

2. Pray - Voice

1. DNA - Mical Teja

Night & Day - Th3rd x JMTB

Magic - Kes x Jimmy October x Etienne Charles

Build Ah Fence - Patrice Roberts x Busy Signal

Rock So - Blaxx

Going Under - Adam O

Just Dance - Machel Montano x Problem Child

Juantana Mera - Burning Flames

Talk - Barbados Troubadours

Aye Aye Aye - Square One

Oil Pumping - Krosfyah

For All Of Those - Statement

Rock Yuh Body - Denise Belfon x Ghetto Flex

Soca Daddy - Ghetto Flex

All Star Show - Ghetto Flex x KMC x Bunji Garlin x Ataklan

PAN MOMENTS

Ribbon In The Sky - Ken Professor Philmore

TANTY TUNE

(1991) - Golo - Second Imij

Wine And Bend Over - Ghetto Flex x Denise Belfon

Best Jam Ever - Patrice Roberts 

Sample - Problem Child 

Bare Good Vibes - Shal Marshall

Mind Off (DM Edit Clean) - Lil Rick x Jus-Jay

Not Alone - Skinny Fabulous x Leadpipe x Jus Jay King

Runway - Jagwa de Champ x Jus Jay King

Clock Een - Pumpa x Jus Jay King

Out & Bad - Voice

How Ah Living - Farmer Nappy

Rental - Farmer Nappy

Collateral - Shaquille

Savannah Grass - Kes The Band

Memory - Machel Montano x Tarrus Riley

Hulk - Blaxx

Thief A Wine - Kirton aka Alma Boy

Thiefin - Machel Montano

Jook In The Party - Gillo

Dr. Cassandra - Gabby

Carnival Is Bacchanal - Ghetto Flex x Rocky

Splash - Jany

Stranger - The Mighty Shadow

NORTHERN PRESCRIPTION

Whinin' Alone (Remix) - Juswata x Sticky Wow

My All - Nadia Batson

Round & Rosie - Nailah Blackman

Follow Dr. Jay @socaprince​ and @socatherapy

“Like” Dr. Jay on http://facebook.com/DrJayOnline

[hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon]

Before: "So how do ya get to be a coyote," Kobra asked over the bonfire. "Prayed to the Witch." Ghoul answered simply. "She can give it to ya, if there's nothing else in the whole world you want more." Kobra had hummed thoughtfully, staring across the flames towards the party that was slowly dying down. Ghoul stared at his profile, sand colored hair outlined by the dark night. He thought that if the Witch had asked what Ghoul wanted most, right then, Ghoul would have to give up his shifting. Kobra had started humming some AKA Loretta song, still staring across the fire to where Cherri Cola was dancing. Ghoul had watched him look, and ached. After: Nothing would heal this wound for Ghoul. Nothing.

-----

There's a Forgetmenauts song called 'Gay Werewolf Murder Ballad', and I wrote a thing about sad gay people murdering murderers in the desert. Enjoy

[raskolni-kin]

okay finally it’s time for the post i said i’ll do

succession characters and the perfume i think they probably wear (based on my impression)

(ps: i can’t afford any of this. im a broke perfume collector)

start with the man, the myth, the legend who inspired me to make this post, my beloved manwhore stewy: tom ford is the only option. i have the sample of tom ford black orchid which is… very hard to pull off (dude you put truffle in the perfume tf😭). you have to be THAT B*TCH to survive and it really reminds me of stewy. Even though black orchid is ~$140, it’s probably his cheapest perfume… he probably uses something more expensive from tom ford private blend, like f*cking fabulous (yes that’s the name) or noir de noir. both are woody scent with vanilla, but f*cking fabulous is more leathery while noir de noir has oud, which smells very middle eastern billionaire (also they’re like… $500 for 100ml) (god i wish i could try them)

the easiest one for me, princess diana tom wambsgans: before he married shiv and got the news position he probably used veryyy mass male perfume like dior sauvage just bc people say it’s good… but then he got the promotion! well then, he has to use something richer now, so i’ll go with creed aventus (aka ‘the basic rich man perfume’) it’s freaking $300, sweet, fruity but also very masculine with a tagline like a gift from father to son or something like that lol

next, another easy one for me, roman: versace eros flame is the only one that can match his immaculate vibe, also ppl who use this perfume cant be cishet. it’s spicy, citrusy with vanilla scent, not that expensive i think he doesn’t really care

now we need gerri: she probably uses perfume that is classic and confident (chanel no.5, nahh too basic) i think she uses guerlain shalimar, which is citrusy, warm, a little smoky and leathery. the scent is hard to pull off but gerri is THAT milf so she’s fine

next girlboss, shiv: she’s the type to use expensive, niche and unisex perfume to assert power, so i think penhaligon’s halfeti leather (~$300) is perfect: british brand, leathery, woody, spicy, smoky, similar notes to male perfumes but has a touch of sweetness from plum and rose. other choices i think shiv might use are something from nishane or juliette has a gun (niche, around $135-200)

now we enter the ‘difficult for me’ territory

kendall: does he even mentally healthy enough to take a shower😭 (poor little meow meow) i think he used something borrowed from stewy (which is not his vibe AT ALL) while they’re in college together, but now he probably uses something easy, inoffensive but still pretty luxurious like maison francis kurkdjian gentle fluidity silver: very fresh, clean, aromatic scent, seems put together (anyway this one costs $185.5). kendall might also use jo malone too imo. it’s simple, natural scent (but some scents can be tooooo natural like why is it so green am i a bug or something😭)

greg, oh greg my baby: like tom, his perfume journey developed as he stepped up the position. he probably started from using axe😔 >> to more legit but still affordable perfume. i think of ck one or ck be, which are green and fresh scent >>> then he moved to more expensive designer perfume like dior sauvage (the same one with tom, you know, influence) or bleu de chanel (which is quite similar to sauvage but fresher) >>> but now that he has more power in his hands, i think he’ll use mfk like kendall but it’ll be maison francis kurkdjian amyris homme (still fresh and sweet. also it has milk chocolate note, not really obvious but i think it’s cute) i think greg wouldn’t use heavy, offensive perfume. his taste is more likely to be younger and fresher (amyris homme is ~$175) (not related to the point but i got this full size at $83, which is probably the proudest achievement in my entire life lol)

now, logan: does he even use perfume???? if he uses one it’s probably classic perfume like creed cuir de russie (first released in 1953): very masculine, woody, leathery, smells like power, or something cheaper he has used since young like aramis (released in 1966): spicy, heavy, woody

connor: no this man doesn’t use perfume, but if he has to use for his *presidential campaign* or whatever he probably uses basic rich man perfume like something from creed

Also here’s a bonus for yall tomgreg nations, the perfume that reminds me of them

(im that b*tch who assigned signature scent for every otp, partly as an excuse to buy more perfume. mostly it’s just bath and body works but like,,,, this is succession i can’t do b&bw😩)

it’s moschino toy boy (the name tho, phew!) it’s a pink peppery perfume that gets sweeter with rose and amber as it dries down (sometimes i can hardly smells the rose tho, idk if it’s bc i got used to the scent or it’s some body chemistry sh*t). i smelled this last week and i was like,,,, yeah it’s tomgreg toxic by britney spears vibe i need to buy this

im still finding the scent for stendall. maybe replica jazz club or maison christian dior vanilla diorama (rum, vanilla, tobacco scent) (i actually have mcd sample but ive never tried it on my body before) or something sweet and intoxicating. maybe carolina herrera good girl legere, which is women perfume but who cares

edit: i fell asleep before posting the perfume that reminds me of roman x gerri. i have resurrected now so here’s the late update. in my mind this perfume has to be classic/vintage, with very prominent notes (like spice or citrus), does’t have to be that expensive, ALSO RED. boom! that’s exactly guerlain samsara (guerlain again for gerri!): kinda on the old lady powdery scent side, but also warm, woody, sweet floral vanilla, and a little spicy👀 perfect

[impulsivefanwriter]

A Tiny Spark Leads to a Roaring Flame (But Flames Can Always be Doused by Water)

Heeyyyyy so y’all know the Reverse Thanos Snap AU for SPBNR? Basically everyone but Smith/S!Kai gets sent to the M!verse. Everyone. The entire population of S!verse Ninjago City & a few surrounding areas. Except poor Smith. Essentially it happens because S!Garmadon tries to send Smith to a place where he can't mess with his plans, and ends up sending everyone away from Smith to take him out of the equation. 

The second part to this AU is that the S!Ninja end up searching for Kai in the chaos and grab the Red Ninja before jetting out of there with the Bounty. Except... they didn’t grab Smith (who’s still home), but rather Red (M!Kai).

Red thinks the S!Ninja are babysitter clones created by Garmadon after he somehow turned Lloyd younger without his memories & is trying to raise him to be his new General #1. With this in mind, he pretends to be S!Kai, and waits for the moment he can rescue Lloyd.

What would happen in the S!Ninja discovered his deception/their mistake of grabbing a wrong Kai and mistake Red for a recreated Aki (aka Bizarro Evil Clone Kai) before he could enact his plan?

Well, this is that idea. (Title inspired by how a crack AU spiralled into a beautiful angst-fest)

Enjoy. :3

-----*-----

Red was going to get Lloyd out of here tonight. 

Away from these Not-Friends made by Garmadon to emulate the Ninjaforce. Away from this flying ship built to emulate Master Wu's ship, so familiar and yet so off. Away from this false reality and back to the real everything where they could hopefully get his memories back and his age back and everything back to the way it was before the city descended into chaos.

He just had to... bide his time. Be patient. 

FSM, he was bad at being patient. 

His hands itched to grab Lloyd and run now, but he was horribly outnumbered and without his mech. No matter how badly he wanted to, he couldn't rush this. If he did, he would make everything worse. Like he always did.

But fate- or rather, Lloyd- had other plans.

The little version of his younger brother- yes, they were roughly the same age normally, shut up, Lloyd was still his younger brother- had been... eying him weird all morning. Not like Not-Jay and Not-Cole and Not-Zane, but like Not-Nya. Like he actually knew instead of suspected. These babysitter clones seemed to think he was the Not-Kai, and if that was the opportunity the universe was going to give him, then by the flames of the departed world was he going to skip this chance to save Lloyd.

Currently he stood on the deck of the ship as they parked in the sky a few meters above the docks on the outskirts of the city. It wasn't the docks with the Bounty warehouse, curse his luck, but it wasn't the endless sky or the empty ocean (though it was still too close to that murky, haunting water for his liking. Water was his sister's domain for a reason). At least he could sneak Lloyd off in the cover of night, maybe find someone in the city who wouldn't recognize the Son of Garmadon this way and would be willing to help them hide until they could make it back to the real ninja.

"Kai," Not-Zane spoke suddenly next to him. 

Red would never get used to the way his voice... lacked the same effect the real Zane's had. The effect that Kai and the rest of his team had assured their friend over and over was unique, special, but in a good way. To embrace it. That it wasn't noticeable, but when it was, that it was so Zane that his friends didn't care that it was different. 

This 'Zane' sounded much too different than his own. He hadn't recognized Kai's tested line of 'road work ahead' when they passed one of the many construction signs littering the city (even more so since the chaos happened a week ago), and instead had responded with 'a great deal of work to fix in the city'. 

Seriously, Garmadon, do better research on your clones.

Not-Zane was also much too... calm. Too 'wise' compared to the wild teen that was Zane. And he walked without heelies or whatever Zane used to slide around like a boss, though he was still silent. And that meant, like now, he snuck up on Red fairly often- and Red was training to be a Ninja, so that took serious talent. 

"Kai," Not-Zane said again, and Red finally broke his gaze from where he'd been staring over the railing, planning tonight's escape route. "Lunch has been made for over an hour. Are you alright?"

Red forced his brightest smile. "Course I'm alright! Just trying to figure out what happened, as usual."

Why Lloyd was suddenly like, 8, and without his memories. Why the Not-Friends were on this Not-Ship and had mistaken him for Not-Kai. Why the city was in a state of disarray and chaos. 

Not-Zane studied him, then turned to give the city a sad look. "I'm not sure myself. My scanners can't seem to figure out what is happening. It is as if... blocked by some force."

Red winced, then expertly disguised the move by leaning against the rail. Zane never would use 'my scanners', despite how often Red and the others assured him it was okay. Yet another reason why this wasn't his friend.

"You know Ninjago City," Red said with a weak laugh. "Always one crisis or another. Always those annoying Garmadon Attacks"

This seemed to satisfy Not-Zane, who nodded thoughtfully. "This event definitely seems to have Garmadon's hand in the mess."

He patted Red on the back. "Well, don't worry yourself ragged, Kai. Come in for lunch soon, alright? We have training for Lloyd later."

Ah, right. Training. AKA what Red assumed was how Garmadon was planning to shape this impressionable version of his friend into his new General #1.  

"I'm ready for training now, Zane!"

Speaking of Lloyd- 

The little gremlin came up from the hull with the rest of the Not-Ninja. Red hated when the entire group was together; it was way more difficult to act as Not-Kai around them, especially around Not-Nya. 

For starters, Not-Jay had a notch in his eyebrow that the real Jay never had. He was missing the iconic freckles, and the scarf, and the fluffy hair, though you could always say it was just a wardrobe change. What you couldn't change was the personality differences. This couldn’t be Jay. Jay was anxious and quiet, his jokes (while plentiful) said more timidly and his newest ideas shared with hesitance that only shrank after years of encouragement. He would never be this loud, ever. 

Not-Cole was the leader, probably because Lloyd was so young. But even then, in Red's team, Nya would probably take second-command. Cole was their sturdy support, yes, but he was chill, laid-back. Ready to follow and support his friends to the ends of the earth with his tunes and occasional sarcastic wit, but not lead. Not like Not-Cole, who was more serious and commanding and didn't. listen. to. music. Red hadn't spotted a single record or boombox in the room in the hull. That was a tragic oversight on Garmadon's part. The members of his research team should be Fired.

And then there was Not-Nya. Who wore a dress with confidence that his sister would love but never publicly wear. Who had short hair- Nya had tried that style once, and decided it itched around her neck too much- and jewelry, and a giant flying Samurai mech suit. His sister had the Water Strider Mech, and Not-Nya had a flying combat suit. Sure. Close enough. Personality-wise they were similar. 

Similar at first glance. Nya was fluid and adaptable to whatever role she needed filling. She was spunky, and as fiery as him when it came to tempers, though she knew how to keep hers in check (she had to, right? No one called her hot-headed and impulsive and reckless and blamed her temper for mistakes or damage or whatever the news comments liked to say about the Fire Mech). Not-Nya was also adaptable and independent-minded, but she seemed more rigid. More doing her own thing. 

Point was, everyone wasn't actually his friends, despite how much they tried to prove they were. And they kept acting like he was this Not-Kai, who was just as hot-headed but apparently more mature and training-oriented and basically the better, cooler (or hotter, perhaps, for the fire theme of the red ninja) him, since his acting never seemed to fully convince them. Trying to impersonate a standard he couldn't seem to reach, some legendary hero he wasn't- er, wasn't yet! Yeah! He just needed to prove himself, be better, and he'd be fine. Just... fine. Yeah.

Mini-Lloyd (Red was tempted to call him L'ilyod in his head, but that felt wrong somehow, like he was infringing on some kind of copyright law) stared at him like a goddamn falcon, and he wasn't talking about the bird that circled the ship. He had this bowl-cut Red would tease him about endlessly after all this was over- seriously, how had Mr. Fabulous Hair started with this mess? Garmadon probably didn't even have hair, so there was no way the guy knew how to style it, and it was very evident based on Mini-Lloyd's hairdo. 

Red noticed that all of them were staring, actually. Despite his relaxed rest against the rails, his fingers behind his back clutched the cool bar with a dull shake. He didn't notice how the metal seemed to glow red under his touch. 

"Training, right, we should get onto that," Red tried. "What do you want to start with, Lloyd?" 

"How about a little game?" Lloyd asked with complete innocence. "What we were playing last week before we got interrupted."

Oh sh!t. 

"I-I don't know, shouldn't we start with stretches? Or how about some sparring, that's always more fun than a game!"

"But I wanted to continue our game..." Mini Lloyd said, and FSM's sake, he couldn't deal with that pouting look.

Okay. Okay, don't panic. Think logically. What kind of game would an 8-year-old Lloyd like to play with him? Something physical, so no board games- he liked to test his mettle against Zane on those, and sometimes he would almost not-lose. Logic puzzles also fell more on Jay's area. Trivia, especially music trivia, was a bubble between the anxious motormouth and Cole. Video games fell on team building, and wouldn't classify as a training warmup.

"Well," Red said, taking a hopeful stab in the dark. "There's not too much space on the deck for... tag..."

Lloyd nodded, looking satisfied. The Not-Ninja looked- well, their expressions were hard to read because of how different it was compared to his friends. But Red was a master of deception (well, fire, but eh, technicalities), and he had them fooled, and he just had to keep it up until nightfall so he could rescue Lloyd and explain in a safe location-

"HE'S NOT KAI!"

Orrrrr improvise. Okay, yep, he could improvise. 

Red lunged forward and grabbed Mini Lloyd's wrist from where he had his hand extended in an accusatory point. He ducked under Not-Jay's attempts to grab him- fast, but not as fast as his Jay, his Jay who could disappear from an awkward social interaction in the span of a flickering lightbulb- and dragged his younger brother with him as he vaulted over the railing. Not-Zane almost managed to yank him back onto the Not-ship, but his icy grip caught only empty air as Red pulled Lloyd into a tight hold and ducked.

He hit the dock below with a stumble, rolling back onto his feet and taking off with a very stubborn green ninja in tow. It took all his strength to drag Lloyd (kicking and screaming like he was being kidnapped or something when Red was just trying to rescue him, for FSM's sake. Lloyd didn't know that, but he could still try to be at least a little more considerate.)

The wooden docks creaked and shuddered underfoot and Red grimaced; whoever rebuilt them after the latest Garmadon attack had shredded them like newspaper clearly hadn't wasted any unnecessary change. It certainly didn't help that Lloyd packed quite the punch for someone so small. Red definitely would come out of this with bruised shins and arms from where Mini Lloyd tried to push him away, but it would be worth it to keep his teammate, his younger brother, safe.

Then green filled his vision and broke his hold on Lloyd's wrist, sending him skidding across the dock planks as he was sent flying. When he finally rolled to a stop, neck and shoulder stinging from where the blast had caught him (no burns, just jitters like he'd been shocked), he had to take a few seconds to re-orient himself. Did the Not-Ship have cannons or something? What hit him from behind, so close it could have hit Lloyd?

Lloyd. Was Lloyd okay?

Red pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the bleeding scrapes on his hands and legs from where he'd gotten banged up by the splintered docks. His gaze, sharp and frantic, searched for signs of green. The warning of more blasts, the flash of the fabric of a gi, anything.

He spotted his brother in the arms of Not-Cole. No, no, no-

And suddenly Not-Nya was there, given a boost by Not-Jay. Her grip was as if she were wearing the robotic mech suit, harsh and powerful and near in-human. She threw Red back to the dock floor as her face twisted with the fury of a storming ocean. A resounding crack rang out over the harbour.

Red couldn't tell if it came from the planks under him or his own shoulder.

She pinned him to the wood, barking accusations and threats in his face faster than Not-Jay could talk. Red blinked through a haze of pain, trying to focus on her face and words. She was missing the beauty mark on her face, he noticed. Yet another tell she wasn't his sister.

"-scar on the wrong side-" And it was hard to hear again over the ringing in his ears. He tried to throw her off, get back to Lloyd, anything, but he was-

Useless. 

Her hands suddenly got in his face, slamming his left cheek to the wood. She was close- close to his face, close to his eye, close to his scar- pushing and prying as she tried to do something. Red picked up in his struggling, his attempts to free himself turning to desperate shoves and wild clawing like a trapped animal. He wouldn't let this creation of Garmadon's finish the job that teen had started all those years ago. 

"Or better yet, he needs to shut his damn mouth."

The flash of a knife. His vision half-blurry. Blood- so much blood- and a lasting scar.

"-contacts-" "-red-" "-struggling-" "-we know what he- it- is already-" "-not the real Kai-" "-wish-" "-Garmadon-"

He had to get away. Get Lloyd away from them now.

In one surge of strength- and yep, his shoulder definitely wasn't okay after that move, as if he'd ripped it not just from its socket but from its very attachment to his body- he knocked Not-Nya aside. If he could’ve seen through the red haze, he might have noticed red embers dancing around his fingertips as his desperation and fear tapped into something deep in his soul.

He tried to shoot to his feet, tried to run for Lloyd (held so tight in Not-Cole's grip, surely they were hurting him, he couldn't let that happen-). He roared, "LEAVE MY BROTHER ALONE!", but before he could take another step through Not-Jay and Not-Zane in his path, the docks gave one last ominous shudder  before deciding it had finally had enough.

The planks crumbled underfoot like charred firewood in a crackling campfire, and Red was sent tumbling into the frigid ocean water below.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: F Boy (again)

Debut: Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins

It feels so strange to look back on my very first post for this blog! It’s so... dry! Where’s the passion? Back then I really had no idea what I was doing and was just kind of imitating Mod Chikako hoping nobody would notice... but thanks to all the love this blog has received, I think I can write with a lot more confidence now! Not to get all sappy on the first paragraph, but I really appreciate everyone who reads this blog with all of my heart. And that includes You!

But if I’d known I’d spend several years using the moniker “Mod F Boy”, I probably would’ve put more thought into the name I picked, huh? I’m not even sure I’m a boy anymore! I just thought the name was funny and that was that! But given how indecisive I can be, maybe it’s a good thing it was so spontaneous... Like it or not though, I am more attached to the concept of “F Boy” then I was three and a half years ago, so it’s only fair I give F Boy the post he deserves and write a whole lot more about him! 

Believe it or not, F Boy is a fire enemy! A single flame with dot eyes, the classic design they’ve been using since Fire! I’ve expressed love for them in the past, but this little dude is a little different... it isn’t found in a lava or castle stage like you might expect, but the spoooky scaaary stages, AKA Pumpkin Zone! Why’s that?

Enter the hitodama! Literally using the characters for “human soul”, these ghostly wisps of fire from Japanese folklore are probably something you’re familiar with even if you don’t know it! The Litwick Pokémon line, the flames on Jibanyan’s tail, the little flames around the boy from the toilet anime, or even the Embers from Paper Mario... that’s really just a couple of specific examples off the top of my head, but they are in basically anything associated with Japanese ghosts! 

Though... all this time I’ve always called them hitodama, but I should probably specify they aren’t the only kind of ghostly fireballs! Onibi (demon fire) are often described similarly, and I’m not totally sure what the difference is! I suppose they would be more demonic hence the name, and probably less of a good idea to get close to. Also, if they're made by fox demons, they’re kitsunebi (fox fire)! Isn’t that neat! But there are no foxes to be found here, so F Boy definitely isn’t that (Unless it stands for Fox Boy...?).

However, you might be more familiar with the concept of will-o’-the-wisps, a similiar kind of legend from Europe- in fact, a whole number of cultures around the world have stories of ghostly lights and flames! There’s two explanations for this, either that it is a misunderstanding caused by some chemical reaction (boring, lame) or that hitodama are real and really exist for real (fun, exciting)! I encourage everyone to go outside with a net and catch as many as they can. 

Even though hitodama can be red or orange in some traditional accounts, they’re mostly described as blue and most modern media sticks with that! Which makes it quite weird that F Boy... isn’t! He is a rather fetching orange of course, and without the added context of spooky old Pumpkin Land you wouldn’t be mistaken for thinking he is a lava enemy that just got lost or something! 

Now, moving on to a completely different topic, something else that is great about F Boy is his little cheeks. Have you seen them? Here is the picture one more time in case you forgot after all that. He doesn’t have one in the sprite, so isn’t it quite weird to give a fireball enemy such distinct little cheeks? I want to squeeze them, even if they are probably intangible. 

And finally, we come to the part we’ve all been waiting for- the name! You were thinking it, I was thinking it, it’s probably the only reason I chose to write about him in the first place! Because F Boy is a funny name for an enemy! I think it’s just quite silly to describe a fireball as a “boy” in the first place, as a term of endearment. It is just a boy! A little guy! He’s not hurting anyone! 

But then they add to that name- one letter. That one letter, F. It changes everything. All of a sudden, there’s a question floating in the air- what, pray tell, does the F in F Boy stand for? 

If you’ve been following our blog for a while, you might remember we added an addendum to the original F Boy post, saying the mystery had finally been solved- the English version of the Super Mario Bros. Encyclopedia lists his name as Fireball Boy, which is a pretty definitive answer right?

But since then, it’s been more or less exposed that this translation took a bunch of unsourced and conjectural names from the Mario Wiki, leading to something of a controversy and a Mario Wiki page that is essentially just roasting the whole thing! If even the Wiki doesn’t accept this book as an official source, I wonder if there’s any merit to the name Fireball Boy at all! Either way it’s odd how this is the ONLY name they changed... do they know something we don’t? I dunno! 

My next evidence to present to the court is something that isn’t really related to F Boy at all! Rather, in Super Paper Mario, the Lava Bubble enemy has a tattle that reads the following:

It's a Lava Bubble. This fiery magma boy loves the heat... Max HP is 1 and Attack is 4. Obviously, it's quite immune to fire... It pops out from below when people approach, so take care when jumping over lava...

Fiery magma boy! The chances of this bit of text being intended as a reference are very very slim, but what if, you see? What if? It’s still a fun coincidence, but what if though??

But of course, my favourite possibility is that it isn’t a word related to fire at all and is actually something completely different! I looked up a list of adjectives beginning with F and I’d like to highlight ones I want F Boy to have. Fabulous! Friendly! Faithful. Fantastic. Fascinating! French? Fresh! Fun, and Funky! Faultless. Fetching. Feminist! Festive. Formidable. All these and more describe the complex soul that is F Boy. 

After all is said and done, that is F Boy! Who would’ve thought that a little monochrome fireball enemy from a Game Boy game could have kicked off so many months of writing for this blog? I said in the first paragraph that I would not get too sappy, but now we are in the last one I can be as sappy as I dang well please! This blog has brought me such incredible joy and friendship that you can’t even imagine, and my only hope is that I can convey these feelings to even one person who reads these silly posts. If you are reading this? I hope you have a wonderful day! I hope you have a wonderful life! I hope you never forget to be passionate about the things that really don’t matter at all, because no one else can decide for you what is worth caring about! Mwah! A kiss goodbye. I’m not sure how to end this post. 

[niyes-lahiffe]

i am very much in a Djwifi Mood rn and you seem like the type of person to know djwifi fics so this is random but do you have any recommendations?

ALRIGHT ANON i’m gonna go all out on this one (and sorry for taking forever to respond sdjhskjgdh)

also these are (mostly) fics that i have READ and ive still got some in my to read so i’ll update this as i go :D

DJWIFI FIC MASTERLIST

to start, most of the things IVE written are djwifi (of course lmao)! just look through the “my fics” tag; i’ve also reblogged a bunch on my main blog @ultranimallover33 through the tag “fics”

tides also made a few recommendations you can find here and here!

Knighted by Thelastpilot (without a doubt my favorite fic tbh, written SO well, hilarious, nino and djwifi centered, princess and knight au, all the good stuff)

The Weight of Jade by Thelastpilot (haven’t read yet (for SHAME) but i already know it’s like the greatest story ever. absolutely iconic. (might wanna read Won’t Tell a Soul first tho))

Empty Chairs by Thelastpilot (good hurt/comfort based on an idea i love sO MUCH)

Butterflies by Risingmoon (definitely in my top 5 fave fics of all time it’s so SO cute)

Liveblog my Heart by sapphireluna (also very high on the fave list! it’s just!! so good!!!)

Starlit Conversations by InkJackets (another fave, i absolutely adore the perspectives and the slight angst it makes me HHHHH)

Cola Date by 3laxx (one of my absolute FAVORITES. i can read it any time and never be tired of it)

The Boy in the Green Jacket by Queen_BeeChloe (SO SO GOOD made me laugh so hard omfg)

You’re Still Here by tonguetiedcat (i adore this one omfg,, hilarious and adorable)

All’s Faire In Love And War by Kermode and RadamaZard (hilarious. excellent writing. renaissance fair!! everything amazing)

But I’m Weak by RadamaZard (my FAVORITE hurt/comfort fic i’ve read it so much and will continue to do so)

Peculiar Interests by myladyladybug (mermaid!alya befriending human nino what’s more to WANT)

kiss kiss (fall in love) by HiddenEye (one of the first ones i ever read. a hilarious classic)

Burst by melanshi (GAH i love the way this one is written. also made me ship rena x bubbler?? more likely than you think)

Kissing Booth by TiredHorse (Alya-centric, excellent djwifi at the end, funny classmate stuff. one of my faves)

How It Goes by Zaphirite (just dorks being absolute dorks)

If Only You Knew by scarslikeconstxllations (GOOD ANGST)

Operation Lovebirds by miraculous_me (yall FAKE DATING. CUTE AF ENDING. NEED I SAY MORE)

Phase Eight by miraculous_me (Operation Lovebirds sequel!! and it’s AAAAA)

Feeling The Sound by celestial_author (hilarious and so good,, made me feel things)

The Way You Smile by celestial author (SO SWEET I ALMOST GOT SICK)

I’ll Never Love Again by chatalyst (ANGSTY AF, I’LL NEVER FORGIVE U FOR THIS ANITA)

Go Back to Bed. You’re Sick. by CoffeeComicsGalore (lmao nino being a good bf and alya being a sassy sick lady it’s good stuff)

Bite Me. by Scarlet_Sea (Vampire!Alya?? HECK YEAH)

Withdrawl by Scarlet_Sea (cute phone conversations that make me squeal)

You’re Ethereal, Alya by an author that can’t be found :( (KISSES!!!)

racing through the dark by GuardianKarenTerrier (cute dorkiness that makes me ;0;;)

so this is love by pastisregret (ADORABLE CINDERELLA STORY OK)

Surprise Party by tbehartoo (hilarious and so sweet)

DjWifi FLUFF by Fandom_Trash (it is as it says, bro,, pure fluff)

i’ll be with you from dusk till dawn. by another unknown author (SO SWEET MADE ME CRY HHH)

Our Get Along Shirt by miraculousstorytelling (one of the funniest things i’ve ever read tbh)

All About Us by isyotm (collage au fluff let’s gooo!)

To Kiss or Not To Kiss? by claws-n-spots (aka nino being a giant dork, extremely good fluffy stuff)

Behind You by tinymacaroni (hhHNGHghngmhnfhghn...)

Hoodie Hoarder by PlaPla (gotta love these dorks)

For Once, Alya Let Him Be Cool by ramenrulz8P (PROPOSALLLLL)

Headphone Sharing, or How to Get a Date in a Foreign City by TakingOverMidnight3482 (gotta LOVE aus like this )

Knight in Shining Apron by 3laxx (hilarious. adorable. what else to expect from Toni’s fabulous writing?)

Late Night Talks and Forgotten Laptops by miraculart (another PROPOSALLLL +nino being an anxious bby)

A Place for Spring by yestomiraculous (written SO well and by golly the banter is amazing)

Candy by LoveGeek15 (more dorks being dorksss)

Blue Turtle by sagansjagger (slightly nsfw but SDJLGHSLDGH so funny like rip nino)

Twenty-Four Things I Love About You by HaydenFullwright (literally nino being a giant sap for 2800 words)

Trying by NotQuiteNerdy (actually havent read but ive only heard good things and i shall read it SOON)

Broken connection by cactus_con and Raging Flames by 3laxx are the ANGSTIEST stories i’ve ever read and both made me bawl uncontrollably

and ofc the christmas ones (there’s surprisingly a lot but theyre all so cute):

31 days of DJWifi by 3laxx (just a whole bunch of wholesome drabbles)

The best Christmas Present by 3laxx (SO FREAKIN CUUUTE HHNG)

Christmas Run by Their_Destinys_Writer (CUTE AF AND WRITTEN SO WELL)

DjWifi December... A Year Late by Capns_scrolls (good djwifi december fluffff)

Jingle All the Way by siderealSandman (an abolute MUST READ it’s so funny and i love the way it’s written)

He Loves Me by Thecrazydragonlady15 (aaa dorks being dorks)

Alya’s insomnia by Merricup (HHHNG CUTE FLUFF)

A Night on The Town by krzed (an incredible story that i love to read)

[thisonesatellite]

A Self-promo Sunday game

i was tagged by the ever fantabulous @profdanglaisstuff --- thank you so so so much! 💖💖💖

Rules: Just for fun this Sunday, let's talk about our personal favourites of our own fics.

Not the ones we necessarily think are the “best.” The ones we go back and reread again and again (because if you don’t reread your own fics what are you even doing?), or the ones we wrote for something or someone special, or the ones that were most difficult to write and just make us proud when we think about them? Whatever criteria you choose, just talk a bit about the fics of yours that you really like.

All right, here we go!

it's our scars that give us character

This is only the second fic i ever wrote, but i think it still holds up, and i just really like this version of Killian. Plus, this was the first time a character -- in this case: Ruby -- stomped, yes, STOMPED out onto the page and demanded to be written, and it was So. Much. Fun.

i go back to it 80% for the sassy!Ruby, ngl. And 20% for the Killian.

OK. 70/30.

FINE. 50/50, but that is my final offer. 😂

.

This is not the End of the World - series

Look. i love me a good dystopia. That is no secret. But -- even though this may be the bleakest world i ever created -- the two oneshots in this series somehow ended up being the softest and most connected version of E&K i ever brought to the page and i just-- i kinda like it, you know?

.

All The Darkness In The World

This is a fic i wrote for @csrolereversal - where i was paired with the wonderful @darkcolinodonorgasm. She made a pic set that just sent me down a rabbit hole, only to come back up with 1238 words of my take on Darkness (and a happy end).

i go back to this sometimes simply because i think i managed to turn a few nice phrases and images, and because it's a sandbox in which i don't usually play.

.

we kill the flame

i don't know that i will ever be able to combine world-building, characters, complicated plot boa constrictors, pace, beats, setup, climax, and payoff in quite that way again. Every MC of mine so far has been the product of blood, toil, tears, sweat, and all of the above, but this one just--- sings in a different key. i don't know how else to put it.

i go back to it sometimes when i feel like nothing i write amounts to anything and need to remember why i do it.

.

And last but not least, "the time i was funny". 😂 AKA -- The Parquet Man and ...between a rock and a bark place, (and its sequel Astairway to Heaven).

Pure crack, all of them, but honestly - if you've never written CS from the POV of a dog or a hardwood floor, HAVE YOU EVEN LIVED?

Also, interestingly enough, of the two, a dog POV is much harder to write. (My darling "floor" came out of the gate all fabulous bitch at 180 mph. Ginger -- the dog -- i had to really work at in order to not make her too anthropomorhized and "preserve her canine essence", if you will.) Also - Parquet got a wonderful companion piece from Killian's POV, written by the fabulous @profdanglaisstuff. What more could one possibly want!

i go back to these to laugh. Out loud.

.

THANK YOU SO MUCH! This was so much fun!

Tagging: @katie-dub, @stahlop, @kmomof4, @ohmightydevviepuu, @shardminds, @winterbythesea, @eirabach, @captain-emmajones, @searchingwardrobes, @spartanguard, @snowbellewells, @winterbaby89, @courtorderedcake, @thejollyroger-writer

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with MaybeAmanda

MaybeAmanda has been a longtime participant in X-files fandom. She has 29 stories at Gossamer, the earliest being archived there in 1998 and the latest in 2012. I've recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including "Malus Genus" and "Snow in Alabama." Big thanks to MaybeAmanda for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It does, in a way.  The feedback I get nowadays is either of the "I read this like 20 years ago and I just read it again" variety or the "I was too young back in the day but I have been watching the show in reruns/on XYZ streaming service/on the full-series of DVDs I got for $3 from the thrift store and I was THRILLED to discover fanfiction was being written even in the Dark Ages!" So it's a bit of a surprise, but it's a pleasant one. I answer every mail/comment because my mama raised me right!

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

It was great. It was fun. It was educational. It was a godsend. Even with the occasional bouts of back-stabbing and flame-throwing, it was mainly a welcoming, inclusive place to be. I made so many online friends who have turned into meat-friends (do they still call them that? Probably not).  During the first run of the show I had small children and we had relocated for my husband's job.  I had very little social life, but the fandom gave me a chance to meet and connect with people who liked what I liked. Then I discovered online fanfic, and it was even better!

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

ATXC I think.  A lot of email lists - 5 or 6 or 7 or so over the years. Gossamer, of course, Ephemeral when that came into being.  Haven discussion boards. My own websites.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

More than anything?  I am a fangirl.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I have always been partial to sci-fi and speculative fiction, but it rarely makes it to the screen - large or small - without being trite, clichéd, or just plain bad. It's easy to forget that The X-Files was groundbreaking - smart, scary, funny, insightful, intriguing, complex plots, on-going mythology. It looked great. It sounded great. David Duchovny was pleasant to look at, too, and damn! Gillian Anderson is/was one hell of an actress.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I found XF fanfic - somehow - probably by accident, or by way of a recommendation - and it blew my mind.  I had written fanfic (of a sort) with my friends in highschool, so I was familiar with the beast, but to find what amounted to excellent story after excellent story for free within (relatively) easy reach (because dial-up, right?) written by people who, for the most part, were thrilled you read their story and were happy to talk to you about it, about writing in general, about your shared obsession - that was amazing. As I am sitting here typing this I am feeling that thrill again - discovering Karen Rasch, Madeliene Partous, Paula Graves [Lilydale note: AKA Anne Haynes], Sheryl Martin and all the other early BNFs was, well, the only word is exciting. I felt like I was a member of a secret society and that I was sitting at the popular kids lunch table, all at once. (Don't forget, in the early days, shippers were considered delusional outliers - seriously!)

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Good?   It's not as lively a place as it once was, but I haven't renounced my citizenship or anything. If I get a rec, I check it out. I know there are those who like to pretend they never had anything to do with the fandom, but why? I am still a proud XPhile.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Angel (a teeny tiny bit) while XF was still running, but those fans were - I don't know the word.  Hardcore does not begin to do it justice. I wrote two short pieces at a friend's request then backed away slowly. Sherlock (a bit) - it is/was very LJ centred and that made it hard to find things. A lot of it moved to tumblr which made it harder, then to twitter, which - no.  I was involved in one of the less fashionable facets of the Sherlock fandom, so I was really a fringe-dweller there, too. It seemed clique-ier than XF, and they all seemed so young, and they all knew EVERYTHING about everything, and every damned thing was political, and, and, and... GET OFF MY LAWN!

But maybe I am remembering the XF fandom wrong. ;)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Like, all fiction? Mulder and Scully for sure. Arthur Dent. Sherlock Holmes in most of his incarnations. Spock. Winnie the Pooh. Why do I like them?  They speak to me, I guess.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I haven't watched an episode in probably two years (back when it was on regular tv).  Yeah, I think about them surprisingly often.  Story ideas, weirdly.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic?

I finished re-reading The Iolokus Series a couple of weeks back, so yes.  It's excellent comfort reading.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Lots! But as far as authors go, I hate playing favourites. I will miss someone I shouldn't and feel like crap.  The Iolokus Series by MustangSally and Rivka T. is probably my all-time favourite fic because it's so very well-written, and so very fucked-up. Kipler's Strangers and the Strange Dead is also terrifically well-written and clever. For complex, interesting case files, you can’t beat syntax6 - pick any of them.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Oh geez. Seriously? I wrote a lot of collaborations and I love them - and my co-authors - all!  Stuff I wrote on my own: Anniversary Waltz (first XF fic I wrote so it's sentimental.) Or Blue Patches. Or Epiphany. Or The Gifts of the Magi (On a Kaiser Roll). Or 221XF.  Gonna stop now.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story?

Every time I thought I wouldn't, I did. I would never say never.

Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Nothing finished ever went un-posted. All the unfinished stuff remains unfinished.

Do you still write fic now?

Haven't for a while, but it's not as if I have said "I SHALL NEVER WRITE FANFIC AGAIN!" I just have nothing in the works at this moment.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

With fic, it's usually from canon - some question unanswered, some road unexplored, some "what if?" that needs iffing.  With "original" fiction, damned if I know.  A snippet of overheard conversation, an interesting photo, something a random story generator spit out at me.  Sometimes things just click.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Okay so...many years ago I was on a (smallish) fic list with a friend.  There was a challenge posted - a bad fic challenge. We knew we could write some truly bad fic if we really tried.  One of the rules of the challenge was to post under an assumed name so no one would know who they were voting for. Well, my friend and I wrote something truly, painfully horrid and we were very proud of its ghastliness, so were brainstorming possible pseudonyms. She hated everything but had no real suggestions of her own.  I knew that she was a bit of a Trekkie (like me) and I said - What about Amanda Greyson and Joanna McCoy?  And she said  - What?? Huh?? Why?? And I said - Spock's mother and McCoy's daughter and she replied, "Maybe Amanda is Spock's mother but on Star Trek there is not a Joanna." By this point, I was SO DONE, and I became MaybeAmanda and she became NotJoanna. Really.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

It took years for me to admit it, but yeah, they know.  They didn't entirely get it.  The reactions I most often got were:

"Ew! You write stuff without being forced?? Ew!!"

or:

"Is it smut? I bet it's just smut. You write smut, don't you? Pure filth, right? I can't believe you are wasting your time writing pornography! That's disgusting! You sicken me! Um, can I read some of it?"

And of course:

"If you are going to write anyway, why don't you get published and become fabulously wealthy?"

which is really two questions, neither of which is easily answerable.

Anyone who tracked my work down (because I told them I wrote, but not my pseudonym) usually said something like, "Hey! You're an okay/passable/decent writer! Why don't you get published and become fabulously wealthy?"

Yeah.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Same old email (maybe_a@rocketmail_dot_com). Gossamer, my site, my LJ and probably some other places.  I can't lie - it's a bit scattered.

(Posted by Lilydale on August 4, 2020)

[nelllraiser]

the littlest pet swap | darwin & nell

TIMING: during the waking world potw (aka wonky magic times). LOCATION: the street outside darwin’s apartment + darwin’s apartment. PARTIES: @asranism & @nelllraiser. SUMMARY: a summoning gone wrong provides ample confusion for both darwin and nell, but mostly a lot of yelling in the street.

The sun had long slipped below the horizon as Nell opened the gate to one of the swankiest dog parks in town, though her slight form wasn’t accompanied by a canine of any sort. In fact, she looked entirely alone, a singled out figure in the low light of the street lamps while she opened the chain link gate of the park, satisfied with the emptiness of the enclosure. On nights like tonight she liked to make her way here, far after any other owners and dogs had abandoned the park so that her own ‘dogs’ could have as much fun as they liked without her needing to fear of the ruckus they might make should anyone catch sight of three hellhounds playing a game of fire tag, maws alight with flame as they chased after one another and playfully singed at each others fur. Raising her thumb to her teeth, she bit it until it bled, reopening a scab on it that had yet to heal from the last summoning of the hellhounds she’d performed. In a quick motion, she swiped the offering over the tattooed summoning sigil on her arm, a piece of magic she’d designed as a specific shortcut that would bring forth the demons she’d befriended some years ago. Except as the magic swelled and then ebbed, it wasn’t three hellhounds that stood before her but...something much smaller than she’d been expecting and- was it wearing a tuxedo? “Ah- hello,” Nell spoke to the mysterious demon with bewilderment, wondering where the hell her dogs were. “You’re not who I was expecting.” Had the unpredictability of her magic bled into this as well? 

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Nell, a hellhound materialized in the middle of a strange and unfamiliar kitchen, and the young demon known to the witch as ‘Scrappy’ instantly began to growl at anything that dared to move within his vicinity. And perhaps the most concerning thing within his vicinity was a man foreign to him. Instinct was quick to take hold as his hackles rose, and it only took a small second before he was advancing on the man, a loud and threatening bark showing razor-sharp teeth as he wordlessly demanded to know what it was the interloper had done with his mistress. 

Afternoon naps have never been a thing for Darwin Asrani, formerly the heir to the Asrani family business of subjugating demons for a quick buck, but things change, they always do, with his own escape and self-imposed exile from Asrani family dinners a testament of how the outgoing but sarcastic charmer isn't afraid to welcome change. Oh, how that statement is going to bite him in the ass in a few seconds. That, and something else. While Darwin was fast asleep, knocked out but comfortably so, deep in a dream of a better present where he wasn't running around, going after his family's mistakes, correcting them like he was responsible for their terrible choices in life, which he clearly wasn't, his tiny demon butler Bertrand was in the kitchen preparing its master his evening alcohol. Bertrand is of course Darwin's most loyal summon, a strange little demon who had a thing for wearing butler clothes, which in this context is a pretty charming tuxedo, and for some strange reason taking care of its summoner like the “Alfred” to Darwin's less gloomy and more fabulous Batman. Unfortunately for the two of them, that evening alcohol would not come to be, as something else stirred nearby, and soon Bertrand disappeared from where he stood, summoned elsewhere, while in his place a more terrifying and less clothed demonic entity stood growling at everything and anything.

"Bertrand, where the hell is my morning cock..." Darwin groggily walked into the kitchen, having finally awoken, in a sour mood after his fantasy was revealed to be nothing more than just that, a fantasy, not the actual reality of his own making. If he didn't have his sense of morality, the disgusting piece of him he liked to hide behind drapings of sarcasm and veils of flirting, he would have remained with his family, making a quick buck at the expense of other sentient creatures. It would have been an easy life, yet even as he made his way to where Bertrand should have been, he could not fully accept that option. Demons are scary, sure, and they are capable of damning things. But demons still have their own will. For another to bend that will to their own desires... Darwin could never accept that. Although, he would have considered the option as he gulped at the sight of not Bertrand in his kitchen, no, but a hellhound that looked like it didn't want to be there. At least they had something in common. "...tail?"

Everything happened so fast. Before Darwin could summon his own senses to return to him, his mind to conjure a plan or strategy of defensive measures, the hostile creature was upon him, chasing him out of his own apartment and into the cold dark night. Darwin could do nothing else but run, screaming, as the thought of his bits and pieces getting bitten to shreds was not something he wanted to come to pass. Fortunately for him, as the chase continued into the nearby dog park, he found Bertrand standing with lovesick eyes directed towards another, a woman with textbook attractiveness. Another spellcaster? "Bertrand! Quickly, rein in this monstrosity after me! I'm not wearing anything under my robe!"

“Hello?” Nell repeated to the newly appeared demon as it simply stood there, apparently transfixed on the young woman before him. Maybe he was in shock? She’d witnessed a few demons who experienced cases of confusion after being unexpectedly Summoned. After all, it was certainly jarring to be one place one moment and somewhere entirely else in the next. “Sorry- I didn’t actually mean to summon you here. Were you doing something important? I can send you back to wherever you needed to-” 

Her sentence was cut short as a panicked sound cut through the air, and it took the witch a long second to make sense of the words. Bertrand? Who the hell was Bertrand? And what monstrosity was the guy speaking of? “Oh shit,” Nell uttered as Scrappy tore after the man and his delicately robed state, flames licking the corner of the hellhound’s mouth as he barked and sprinted in hot pursuit. In an instant, Nell was tearing after the hellhound’s victim and the dog in question, her strides fast as she left the unfamiliar demon behind. “Scrappy! Scrappy, don’t! It’s okay!” The poor pup was no doubt startled, having shown up in a stranger’s presence with no familiar face in sight. “Scrappy come back! I’m right here! I’ve got fingers!” she yelled as she continued to run, referencing the emergency supply of human fingers she kept as treats for her assorted demonic creatures in her pocket. The hellhound seemed to hesitate for a split second, his pursuit of the man slowing at the mention of food. As a precaution, he tried to herd the man into a corner, gnashing his teeth and growling all the way as he made his attempts.

Well, Bertrand certainly took his time. Even though Darwin was sure that he emphasized his immediate concerns regarding his endangered bits and pieces, the supposedly loyal demonic butler seemed to wait a minute or more before dashing to its master’s safety. They were going to have a talk about that later, much later, when Darwin was once again certain that his own bits and pieces were 100% safe. Bertrand is going to have a lot of explaining to do, though technically it’ll probably only take a mere mention before they both forget about it. It wasn’t like Darwin actually required a butler, and Bertrand, in its defense, was doing the whole schtick out of love and nothing else. It was a strange relationship but it was the only one Darwin was comfortable in trusting.

“Bertraaaaaand!” Darwin yelled again, as quietly as he could, which was a bit of a hilarious contradiction, even as the tiny demon ran to his aid. The other human was already doing her best to keep the hellhound away from Darwin’s precious jewels, which made him think that it was most likely her own Bertrand. “Is this your...pet?” Darwin immediately hated that word. Pet. Demons weren’t meant to be pets. They were meant to be respected as the intellectual and ancient beings that they were and— Oh, my god, it’s about to burn my bits and pieces! 

“I’m not sure what happened, but I found your Scrappy instead of my Bertrand in my current place of residence.” He gulped, backed into a corner, and heaved a sigh of relief when he saw Bertrand finally making its way to his defense from the corner of his eyes. “Bertrand! Oh, dear god (ironic, he knows), I’m glad you’re safe! What happened? Why are you out here? Who’s that with you? And for the love of all that’s good and sexy, can YOU please not feed your Scrappy my fingers?! I need them...for stuff.” Darwin fired the series of questions in quick succession, still barely awake to actually make a coherent plan of defense, having just woken up from his afternoon nap, though it was already late at night, and violently at that.

Bertrand just stood there itself, a little panicked, shifting its gaze from Darwin to Nell and then to the hellhound, unsure of what to do. On one hand, Bertrand needed to save Darwin. On the other, it wasn’t quite sure if Nell would appreciate if it tried to fight Scrappy. Besides, Bertrand still had hope in his tiny demon heart that the other human could rein in their own friend. The last thing it wanted was to start another demon-on-demon violence. That was certainly not part of their current deal.

“Scrappy!” Nell continued on with her authoritative tone when it came to making the hellhound stand down. “Scrappy, it’s alright, really.” Much of this particular hellhound’s aggression was actually caused by anxiety and fear, and a need to appear as fierce as possible in the face of a potential threat. The demonic dog finally seemed to pause its attack, though his teeth were still bared, not quite ready to let Darwin forget he was a threat. “Scrappy is…” Nell hesitated with an answer to Darwin’s question, also disliking the title of ‘pet’ when it came to the creatures she looked after. If it came to it, she’d use the word ‘pet’ as a cover, not needing normal humans asking strange questions about the less than usual animals that surrounded her. But as the witch’s gaze flickered from the other, smaller demon, and the man in front of her calling him ‘Bertrand’ with a voice that betrayed familiarity, it wasn’t hard to guess that she was being faced with another spellcaster. “I take care of him, and he helps take care of me when I ask him to,” she said truthfully, rolling up a sleeve to show the summoning tattoo that she’d gotten for the hellhounds, making it easier to Summon them at the drop of a hat. It was inked over the extreme scarring of her arms, the skin of them appearing mottled like a patchwork of flesh. 

“And this is Bertrand?” Nell asked curiously, giving the little demon another friendly look. “Does he...speak? I tried talking to him before you ran out here, but he didn’t seem to have much to say.” With a gentle eyeroll, Nell crossed her arms over her chest before digging into her pocket. Scrappy, sensing a treat nearby, finally sat calmly at her feet. “I’m not gonna feed him your fingers. And I’m Nell, who are you? Do you always yell about your bits in the streets?” she decided to jibe playfully. But she was uncertain if the lightness would last. If this man was, indeed, another spellcaster— there was no guarantee he wouldn’t have heard news about the three sisters banned from their coven for necromancy and demon summoning, Nell being one of those three. Witch society was generally less than forgiving when it came to raising the dead, but perhaps he hadn’t heard, or perhaps she’d dodged that conversation by not providing her full name. Finally, she leaned forward to offer Scrappy a very human finger, and the dog eagerly gobbled the treat before sitting properly once again.

Darwin looked her over as she explained herself, mostly just her relationship with the hellhound Scrappy, as he wrapped his robe tighter around him in an attempt to stay warm out in the cold embrace of the night. He was now feeling a bit calmer with Bertrand finally standing beside him while the woman reined in her own companion. It didn't take long to dawn on Darwin how familiar the other spellcaster's relationship with Scrappy seemed with his own with Bertrand. Although Bertrand took a liking to acting and looking like the former Asrani family heir's butler, Darwin himself never really saw their relationship as master and familiar. Bertrand took care of him, even saved his life at one point, and for that, he will forever be grateful. It was most likely that very reason why he could not take to the demon as lesser than himself. Darwin owed Bertrand more than he'll ever care to admit, if only attempt to show through quieter actions. Like sharing pizza and interacting with him like he would any other. To be honest, Darwin probably treated Bertrand better than he did most humans. Without Bertrand, there would be no Darwin to this day.

He instinctively raised an eyebrow when the woman showed him her tattoo, dark brown eyes immediately trying to make sense of the handiwork as if there would be something more hidden beneath what they could see. Darwin thought of showing her his own tattoo but wasn't quite sure if that would be a good idea. The placement was, after all, somewhere more intimate and they were currently outside. Although he was certain that appearing to expose himself to another would be less offensive than having demonic entities prancing around in public, that didn't make him any less wary about that scenario. Thankfully, the woman's curiosity saved him, like the school bell to his hapless problematic student. "Yes, this handsome fellow's name is Bertrand." He turned to the tiny demon with a smile, both born of pride and affection. "Bertrand's my most loyal friend, though he often speaks only through the mind, which I suppose he reserves with known friends, those whose names and consent have been shared with him."

Bertrand himself turned to Darwin, and when their eyes met, nodded with a smile on his face. That moment was quickly ruined when Nell mentioned him yelling about his bits in the streets. While Bertrand was quick to hide his amusement, Darwin feigned a cough as he tried to hide his bits and pieces within his robe, which was barely doing a great job. "Well, you would, too, if you had just awoken from your drunken stupor, only to find an aggressive hellhound in your kitchen instead of your most trusted friend, and then get chased by that same hellhound into the night..." It was certainly an odd choice to summon a hellhound outside, but Darwin was yet to become familiar with this strange place, with its strange love for mimes and stranger disappearances, so who was he to know what was odd and what wasn't in White Crest? One thing he knew for certain, however, was that his bits and pieces were getting cold. "...I am Darwin, and I don't know about you, Nell, but I'd like to keep my bits and pieces warm. My place is, well, you probably already know. Feel free to follow me inside. I rarely have any company, so it might be a little too gloomy, but I just woke up, and I will most likely be up for a few more hours, so feel free to join me and my gloomy company where it'll at least be warm and our friends safe from..." He looked around them, an eyebrow raised, both emphasizing his point and making sure no one was eavesdropping on them. "...curious eyes."

With a nod to her and another to Bertrand, Darwin began to walk away, back inside his place. Bertrand himself waited on Nell and Scrappy with a wide smile, exactly like a butler waiting to usher in his master's guests. The sheer size of that grin would reveal to anyone how much Bertrand wanted to have guests and how few they ever got any. Of course, with a demonic butler and a host that had just arrived in town, the strange pairing wouldn't find it easy to have guests. This was a strange new town for them, and they were a strange new addition to the rest of the town. Besides, Darwin wasn't here to make new friends, but he was at least certain that the other spellcaster would not be his quarry. Perhaps, she would even be of great help to him and his cause.  

He had to know what the tattoo was based on his reaction as well as what it meant she was, and Nell wasted no time in pressing the matter of his own identity. “So you’re a spellcaster then, right?” There was a flicker of tentative hope in her words as she asked them, eager to meet another magic user that wasn’t a part of the coven she’d been banished from. Of course, there was no guarantee that news of her and her sisters' excommunication hadn’t reached other corners of witch society, along with the magic they’d done. Obviously demons most likely wouldn’t be a problem with this man, seeing as he had one accompanying him as well, but necromancy was a whole other can of worms, and one that was also heavily feared and frowned upon within magical circles. Not to mention there was the fact that Nell often utilized blood magic, another practice that was most often met with harsh judgement and heavy reservations when others heard she used it. For the moment being, she wouldn’t mention it.

Instead, she decided to say hello to Betrand once more now that she knew his name. “Hello, Bertrand,” she offered a proper greeting with a smile and small nod of her head. “It’s nice to actually meet you. And sorry for summoning you unexpectedly,” she apologized again, knowing it must have been confusing to find himself somewhere new and unexplained.” It was interesting that he preferred to speak mentally, and though Nell was very much wanting to speak with the little guy, she wasn’t quite so sure how she felt about letting him into her mind just yet. With her general desire to keep the inner-workings of her head private, and the consistent mind breaches she was courtesy of Ma’al’s demon cult...she had little desire to forfeit the scarce safety she had in her mind at the moment. But maybe the future would grant her the pleasure of having conversation with Bertrand, one way or another. “And hello Darwin,” she offered with another wry grin.

“I don’t know,” Nell began, once again adopting her teasing tone. “I think I’d be pretty excited to find a hellhound in my kitchen. A gift, really. Probably not running around like a madman while yelling about my bits and pieces and then still talking about them once everything had calmed down.” There was a mischievous sparkle in her eye that told of the levity in her words, no actual intent to harm behind them. She didn’t hesitate to follow behind him as he led the way into his dwellings, tilting her head to the side as she took in the practicality of the place. “How long have you lived here?” she questioned, curious as to how she’d missed another spellcaster that worked with demons. After all, they weren’t exactly common. Nell wasn’t entirely sure how to react to Bertrand acting as butler, feeling a little out of place as the demon flitted about. It felt...strange to use a demon as someone to wait on you, but for all appearances it looked as if the demon was enjoying his job, possibly even thriving as he did his work. If Bertrand liked what he did, who was she to question it? 

"Hmm?" The question didn't really surprise Darwin, as it would be pretty obvious to both of them that they shared at least an inkling of what the other was. Both of them had their respective demonic "partners", for a lack of a better term, and he just assumed that she, with that tattoo, was like him, if not better. She looked better, was better, because at the very least, she didn't just wake up, only to run away from a hellhound in just her robe. Speaking of robes, he wrapped his own tighter against himself, wary that his bits and pieces would be unintentionally exposed. He wasn't entirely into her, and all women for that matter, but it was still a matter of maintaining decency, the strange man in only a robe thought. "Just like you. Always good to find common ground with someone new..."

Bertrand simply smiled at Nell with an innocent, friendly sort of grin, the kind no one who wasn't well-versed with demons and their ilk would expect from such a creature. Yet so much would catch people by surprise, just by the fact alone that demons were as complex as humans, perhaps even more so. They were an ancient race, after all, and most knowledge about them barely scratched the surface. Type-casting didn't help. Darwin himself couldn't help but smile at her remark, her teasing, finding it a welcomed respite from the loneliness of having little to no other consistent human interaction, from Bertrand always saying yes and yes only to everything and anything. "That's fair. I did grow up with a hellhound. Sally. She was nice." Again, he tightened his robes against his skin. "Not long. We've just moved here." He answered without look back to her, already making his way to the makeshift bar in his living room. Bertrand, like the good and trustworthy self-appointed butler that they were, waited for Nell to get in before following after her and closing the door behind them.

Darwin was already preparing himself a drink when Bertrand appeared completely appalled at the vision of their master doing something for himself, while they were around. The demon wrangler, however, found their instinctive reaction as well as the horrified look on their tiny demon face somewhat amusing, waving Bertrand back to let them know he's fine with doing it himself. He pretty much didn't need Bertrand to wait on him every damn time but it was the demon's strange wish, a really confusing hobby that Darwin himself has yet to fully understand. He owed him his life, though, so he could never deny Bertrand whatever they wanted. Finally settled on a cocktail, a concoction of two different rums, a cherry brandy, a diet Coke, and Maraschino cherries, Darwin turned to Nell from behind the counter, grinning from ear to ear as he took a sip of his glass and offered her her own. "Bertrand doesn't drink." He raised an eyebrow, turning to the demon who grinned back, before continuing with a classic gender-based assumption that he didn’t wholly believe but thought was a pretty decent jumping point. "Tell me about yourself and your...coven. You're a witch, aren't you?" 

As Darwin confirmed the fact that he had magical abilities, Nell’s grin grew wider and more genuine, once again filled with hope at the prospect of having found a new spellcaster to take into her life. She had friends, of course. People she loved. And her sisters still knew what it was to wield magic. But to have a friend that was a spellcaster in her life again? That was something she’d missed more than she’d realized. Nell knew she was getting ahead of herself. After all, they’d barely even made one another’s acquaintance, but she couldn’t help the spark of hope that had lighted in her soul, nearly desperate to find someone like her that wouldn’t hate her. Just as quickly as the hope had blossomed, she watched it with a careful eye, trying to dampen it in the next moment as she reminded herself that she still didn’t know if he’d recognize her full name should she ever give, along with the ‘crimes’ attached to it. Still...she couldn’t help the excitement in her voice as she echoed, “Just like me. A Summoner and everything! Do you mostly do Summoning, then?” she asked, already burning with questions. 

Nell didn’t hesitate to return Betrand’s smile, and at the mention of a hellhound Scrappy whined from his place at Nell’s feet where he’d finally settled. To have a demon as part of the family in a household? Her mother and coven would have balked at the idea. “Really? All of your family likes demons, then?” It was a novel idea, and a reality she’d never thought to imagine based off most casters’ reactions to demons. “Oh- well, welcome to White Crest,” Nell offered with half the enthusiasm she’d had when asking about the hellhound. “You’ll find it’s...a very unique place the longer you’re here. And pretty fucking dangerous so just- watch you back, I guess.” It was only fair to warn the man what he was getting into. 

The witch accepted the drink with a quick, “Thank you” before taking a sip, and then promptly popping one of the cherries into her mouth. “Good for Bertrand,” Nell said with a chuckle. “Very responsible of him.” But the mention of a coven was quick to tense her shoulders along with her mouth. She should have expected it. How many times had she been told that a witch without a coven was barely anything at all? So of course another spellcaster would ask where her’s was. Nell opted to answer the simpler of the two questions first. “That’s me- a witch.” Her former excitement had waned, already dreading where this conversation might go. “And you’re…? Well- what do you call yourself?” Witch was generally thought of as a woman’s word in pop and normie culture, but she’d met plenty of men who went by the title as well. Now for the rest of her answer. “I don’t have a coven.” Anymore. She carefully opted to leave off the end of that reply, unwilling to ostracize herself so quickly. “There’s one in town, though. Mostly fire elementals.” It was her own former coven, and the very same one her mother had banished her from. “What about you? What about your coven?” Maybe she could turn the rides away from herself into his direction instead.

"Yeah, sure, mostly Summoning..." Darwin offered her a warm smile and a wink before taking another sip of his drink. Although he didn't feel like there was something about her that made her a little difficult trust, something suspicious, anything suspicious, the well-traveled demon wrangler had learned from his past experiences to keep unnecessary additional information from newly made acquaintances. At least at this point, he believed it was the right thing to do. "You could say that. We're all in the...business." He unintentionally turned to Bertrand, as if apologizing for the terms he used. Darwin had never wanted to be associated with the Asrani family name again, their savage and brutal business of wrangling demons and twisting them mentally to suit their financial needs, but he had yet to share who they were truly by name and he could still, in his head, pretend that he was from a better version of his own family. 

The momentary loss in thought, however, not to mention the more serious expression that possessed his face, might have hinted to the girl that there was more to his story, bits and pieces he'd rather not share for now, but he immediately tried to ensure to keep the conversation moving elsewhere. If it could even be a suitable distraction. "Thank you. So far, it's been, as you say, unique. I'll keep that in mind, though." At the sound of their name, Bertrand grinned before offering Darwin a quick bow and disappearing into the shadows. Truth be told, their makeshift master had no idea where they disappeared to whenever they were out of his sight, but Darwin would trust Bertrand with his life, as Bertrand themselves had been the only one responsible for extending it. 

"I fancy myself a demon wrangler. I seek out the more dangerous demons let loose by careless mages, intentionally or otherwise, rounding them up and settling them safely back home, wherever they believe that is." Throughout his explanation, his dark brown eyes maneuvered themselves onto the hellhound with her. Scrappy, wasn't it? The creature didn't seem like it was brought here against its will. In fact, it actually looked like it was enjoying the woman's company. Darwin grinned at that thought. "Well, isn't that another thing we have in common?" Darwin gave her a nod and ushered her towards the living room, sitting at the sofa, the unexpectedly lavish couch that took the middle of the room as its own. With another sip, he gestured for her to sit with him before continuing. "I'm not much of a coven kind of guy. I find them...stifling at times, suffocating even. I highly value my independence, though..." He gestured around himself, around them, emphasizing the loneliness of his place. "...it'd be nice to have some company every once in a while." 

For a moment or two, as their eyes met, Darwin considered poking around in Nell's head, wondering if she was hiding certain truths that he needed to know, if he should just take them for herself. It could be easy. She already had a drink in her hands. But then he got bored of pretending he was his damned father. He could never understand how that old bastard would ever think that was a good option, especially on his own son. What a fucking asshole. He heaved a sigh, mustered a weak smile, and took another sip of his drink.

His wink paired with the tone of voice and phrasing he’d used did little to assure Nell that Summoning was the only magic that Darwin did. It seemed that he was more inclined to withhold whatever other magic he was employing, and for a split moment she wondered if it might be blood magic. Perhaps the taboo nature of it was why Darwin was keeping the practice to himself. A year or so ago, Nell would have hesitated to ask, unwilling to reveal that she too was a practitioner of the questionable magic. But the year since then had taught her that if she were going to lose people for things she wouldn’t apologize for- it was easier to do so earlier in a relationship, to be cut loose before she got in too deep and their rejection would sting all the more. Beyond that she’d also learned that the bigger threat someone thought she might pose... the better. Perhaps if she’d been louder about her abilities, half the people that had tried to interfere in her life wouldn’t have done so in the first place. So it was with a straight back and almost daring air about herself that she said, “I also do blood magic.” Nell watched him for a long moment after that, looking for the familiar flicker of distaste of wariness that came over other spellcasters when she mentioned the discipline. 

A demon wrangler made sense based off the way he’d spoken of the otherworldly creatures, and the company he kept with Bertrand. Nell had done her own fair share of recollecting demons that were places they shouldn’t be. “That’s good. And trust me there’s plenty of demons to wrangle around here. Just a few months ago some highschoolers accidentally summoned Bloody Mary. Obviously she’s not a demon but- you get the idea.” Nell refrained from mentioning that two of the teens had died in the process of that entire ordeal. No doubt Darwin was well aware of the casualties that were practically guaranteed when inexperienced practitioners tried to Summon. “You don’t have a coven?” Nell asked again, her curiosity once again piqued. “You’re right about the rules, though. The one I mentioned before has banned any sort of demon summoning.” It had been part of the reason she’d been exiled, though only a fraction of it. 

Taking another sip of the drink he’d given her, Nell gave a half-grin at the mention of company, hiding the eagerness she was feeling at having found a spellcaster who wasn’t forbidden from speaking to her, and also wasn’t her sister. “Well if you keep making me drinks- I might be able to provide an answer to the occasional company problem you’re running into.” She still had so much to ask Darwin, but a whine from underneath the table told Nell that Scrappy was getting antsy, still not entirely comfortable with being in the presence of a stranger and his demon. “I should go take care of this boy, though,” she said before leaning down to give the hellhound a pat. “He’s not really good with company- which I’m sure you figured out when he was trying to bit your ‘bits and pieces’ off.” Her tease was accompanied by another grin, obviously taking amusement in using the phrase against him. “But maybe I could bring one of the more confident hellhounds by another time.”

Darwin almost choked on his drink when she revealed the other kind of magic she did. Hailing from a family of mental magic practitioners, which really never ends well when shared with a new acquaintance because humans have always been a paranoid lot, the demon wrangler had strangely little to no experience with actual blood magic and its practitioners. There was that one girl he befriended, the young single mother, but it was a disheartening affair, one that proved to be more dangerous to herself and to the ones around her. Right then and there, Darwin wondered if the same could be said for Nell. How lonely it must be then, and how painful, that one's magic can punish a practitioner beyond the rules of equivalent exchange. Then again, it must be the only appropriate rule for something as dangerous and painful as blood magic. Darwin took another sip of his drink to regain his composure. "That's interesting. I knew a girl who did that, too. She was...admirable."

"Bloody Mary? Really? High Schoolers?" Darwin shook his head, distancing his lips from the glass as they twisted into a playful smirk born out of disbelief that such young children could be capable of summoning bloody Bloody Mary but at the same time impressed of the act. He was also young when he started Summoning, though he focused mostly on smaller demons first. Then again, he was around their age, if he recalled correctly, when he first summoned a demon the size of a human, not unlike Bloody Mary herself in terms of height and number of limbs, though his was more fueled by lust than violent murder. That was also actually when he first realized he preferred men over women. "Did any of them survive?" His smile turned into a frown when he remembered the truth of the matter. Just because you can actually Summon, just because you got lucky in actually drawing someone else, something else, from their world to this one, doesn't mean what happens next will be harmless, profitable for you. Often, the novice, the inexperienced, dies from the ordeal or during the aftermath due to lack of assertion or impression. No one enjoys an unscheduled appearance, without their consent, in a lesser world.

Darwin simply shook his head at the question relating to his coven, the thought of his own family being akin to that to him...until his father tried to bend him, his mind, to their twisted capitalist bullshit. "Ah, but of course. Demon summoning and witchcraft don't always go hand in hand. Either often prefer to be focused on, unable to share their practitioners with one another." At this point, he was just blowing wind up his own ass. He didn't actually know if that bit was true, only that it made sense to him to be so. His grin returned at her tease, or at least what he perceived to be a tease, longer than before. Even though Darwin had his own preferences when it came to carnal pleasures, he enjoyed flirting, teasing, the art and science of which, most likely because it helped boost his ego, his confidence, in ways that he never could growing up, alone, without the familial support he subconsciously craved. 

"Of course, my love! Feel free to visit any time. Bertrand and I will always enjoy your company and that of your hellhounds." He offered her a grin as he stood, careful not to expose her to his bits and pieces, like the gentleman host that he believed himself to be. Gesturing towards the door, which Bertrand who just appeared from out of nowhere was quick to open, Darwin accompanied his lovely guest on her way out. He could've actually walked her home but it was getting too cold for his bits and pieces, and he was slowly getting too drunk. He did turn to Bertrand, though, and nodded, a gesture that meant the self-appointed butler would follow the witch back to her abode to simply ensure her safety. Not that Darwin believed she couldn't take care of herself, what with the blood magic and the hellhound at her arsenal. It was more like a routine that he half-remembered from his past before he had to escape, flee, a reminder his late mother always told him: Take care of friends and family, even if they never want you to. Well, Darwin was out of family, and Nell was the first friend he'd made in town. Might as well.

Nell waited with a steely gaze for Darwin’s verdict, ready to write off this newfound and tentative friendship here and now if he reacted negatively when it came to her blood magic. She didn’t need anymore people in her life that would leave her down the road, but it seemed that paranoia had been misplaced when he spoke of admiration. “She was?” Nell echoed, as if confirming she’d heard correctly. Obviously she had, and the thought filled her with another spark of tentative hope. “I’m sure she was, then. Admirable, I mean.” 

As for the highschoolers…”Just one,” Nell answered grimly, still holding some residual guilt for having been unable to save the entire lot of them. “Two of them died in the process, including the one who had the ability to Summon in the first place. I don’t think he knew, though- that he held the magic. He didn’t make a proper sacrifice and- well- the Summoning decided it wanted more. I’m sure you understand.” None of them were free of the chains of equivalent exchange, and sometimes the jailers demanded entire lives as a means of paying the price. 

But as Scrappy whined once again, Nell knew he was reaching his limit of being indoors and stationary, and in the presence of a man he’d chased down the street and was still not entirely certain of. “I really am sorry I have to go- there’s a ton more I wanted to ask. But I’ll probably also just message you once I’m home on the White Crest forum thing, and we can pick up where we left off. But I mean it about the drinks,” she reiterated with a grin, still wishful that this budding friendship might be a lasting one. “So be prepared for me to bother you about that within 2-5 business days.” Gathering up Scrappy, she made her way towards the door, giving Bertrand a nod of goodbye as well, not yet realizing that he’d be trailing her on the way home. “And I’ll see you, as well I hope.” With that she was making her way out of his apartment and onto the street, below, pausing with a small smile on her lips to let herself bask in the potential promise of another spellcaster in her life that didn’t hate her guts. Even though she still wasn’t sure how the demon mixup had occurred, that worry could be kept at bay for the moment being with the knowledge that she’d started something new out of it. 

[shisabun]

Promare: A Spoiler Infested Breakdown

This is a breakdown and thus has spoilers. You have been informed.  Long ago in the somewhat, but not too distant, future there was a Himbo named Galo. He wanted to be the best firefighter that ever was to honor the man that saved him. Governor Not-Cray Cray. This is a convenient goal to have in a society where people sometimes burst into flames. But this is ok, because only the everything around these people get hurt. Despite this being a thing for over 30 years, no one in the world thought to build their everything out of fire retardant materials. But this is also ok, because firefighters are still a thing and are still good at their jobs. Enter Himbo, master of sticks and the literal best thing in this movie. All he wants is to keep people from burning. Even the people who cause the burning, though others think this is impossible. He is joined in his quest by Fire Chief Mustache, The Bookworm, Barret from Final Fantasy, and two token females who wear horribly inappropriate clothing for firefighting. But this is ok because they both have support roles. One flies a rescue plane that has no seat belts and the other is science. You know this thanks to her lab coat. They’re joined by their trusty fire house rat because in the somewhat future dogs don’t exist. You know that he too is a fireman due to his epic hat.  Himbo and The Squad are called out to put out a building that’s on fire. They’re doing a great job at their job until Off Brand Kiss shows up in all their flaming glory. Himbo decides this is a great time to show the world his love for all things history and wipes the floor with two of them, despite highly trained professionals not being able to do this in 30 years. But the lead singer of this glamour goth band is too firey for our hero until he’s revealed to be a twink in disguise. Leo the Twink is taken to fire people prison with is two fabulous goons only to break out three seconds later because this was obviously part of the plan that no one saw coming. Until they did.

Meanwhile Himbo and The Squad are enjoying pizza like all American’s from Japan do when pizza man is arrested for being a fire person. This upsets Himbo cuz pizza man made the best pizzas in all the land. He rides off to sulk at the Frozen Lake of Future Importance, which no one knows about and wont be important later at all maybe. Token chick #1, AKA Misty from Pokemon, tries to bond with Himbo, but his flaming twink senses start to tingle and he rides off to seek said Twink out. He’s captured by the fire people and Himbo and Twink bond over orphans and the ashy remains of a dead girl. Before peacing out Twink informs Himbo that Governor Not-Cray Cray is in fact Cray. This upsets Himbo and he decides to confront Cray Cray alone without telling anyone what he’s heard. This of course ends exactly how you’d think. With the death of pizza man. Himbo is locked in prison and cries. In this moment we all knew that Governor Cray would have to die. As this is going on, Governor Crazy has his lacky Sharkweek break into Twink’s crib and jack all his homies. Turns out fire people make excellent batteries and Gov. Cray wants to use them to fly away to another planet to save the human race because Earth is about to turn into a giant pyroball. This leads to Twink literally blowing his top and going all Dragon Heart on the situation, in the only way the lead singer of Off Brand Kiss can. An epic music video. His rampage frees Himbo who decides they should all hug it out. They land on the Frozen Lake of Current Importance and melt it. Turns out Captain Exposition lived in the bottom of that lake and he tells Twink, Himbo, and Misty who is there for some reason, that the techno-colored 80’s fire is in fact aliens from a parallel dimension because why not. He then tells them to shut up and get in the Deux Ex Machina Bot to fight Cray Cray. They go all Outlaw Star on them but aren’t doing so well because Himbo is sad that Deux Ex Machina isn’t asthetic. Luckily Twink is moved by this and decides to give them a fabulous flaming makeover that leads to Himbo naming their new mega bot after them. Twink begrudgingly accepts the fact that they are now dating. They fight Gov. Cray Cray’s giant robot and find out that he was a fire person all along which everyone guessed half way through the movie, but who cares! Himbo tries to save his captured Twink and is almost killed by Crayola. But he is saved by the literal flaming power of love. The Squad show up because they exist and help Himbo rescue Twink from the evil clutches of Crayola. But Twink is hurt and dying only to be saved by the literal flaming power of love. Himbo demands that Twink take responsibility for this, and Twink decides to do just that because he’s a good egg. He convinces Himbo that they can save the world by joining together. They perform a gay gem fusion with the help from intergalactic parallel dimension alien fire balls because sure. Their love burns so brightly that they literally burn the entire Earth and every other planet in the solar system. This apparently fixes everything and all the fire balls go back to their own house because we’re sick of them burning everything dang it. Twink and Himbo decide that they’re now married and seal the deal with the manliest of bro-fists, before Himbo asks that all the former fire people help them clean up the mess. In conclusion: Promare is an amazing visual masterpiece with excellent story telling and kick ass music and literally everyone should see it.

[dothedogmusic]

Out now! The Ska Librarian's 2 Tone Time Machine! A fab 4 zine publication that explores the global ska scene from the birth of 2 Tone in 1979 to the birth of the Ska Explosion in 1988! Featuring all the 70's & 80's bands you know & love like The Specials, The Beat, Madness, The Selecter, Bad Manners, The Bodysnatchers, Fishbone & The Untouchables, plus loads more that you have maybe never heard of from all over the globe! To order in the UK send £12.00 to http://paypal.me/dothedogmusic To order from Europe send £16.00 GBP & to order from outside Europe send £20.00 GBP. Please include “2 Tone Time Machine” & your postal address in the note section of your order.The Ska Librarian's 2 Tone Time Machine features the following 180 bands from 23 different countries: The Specials, The Beat, The Selecter, Madness, The Clash, The Police, Dexys Midnight Runners, UB40, Bad Manners, The Bodysnatchers, Elvis Costello & The Attractions, The Ruts, Cairo, Linton Kwesi Johnson, The Nighthawks, Matumbi, Lou & The Hollywood Bananas, Arthur Kay, The Members, Prince Buster, INXS, Laurel Aitken, Graduate, The Akrylykz, The Equators, The Lambrettas, The BoxBoys, Capital Letters, Blondie, The Puzzles, The Tigers, Box Office, Oingo Boingo, T-Shirts, The Villains, Toots & The Maytals, The AT’s, Swinging Cats, The Rimshots, Des Dekker, Boss, Ska City Rockers, Headline, The Simka’s, Mark Foggo & The Secret Meeting, The Spots, The Hooters, Heavy Manners, The Belle Stars, Fun Boy Three, The Allniters, 21 Guns, EMF, Geier Sturzflug, Dixo Wankers, The Rifffs, The Usuals, The People, Doe Maar, The Reluctant Stereotypes, Madonna, The Terrorists, Kim Wilde, Rico, The Untouchables, Strange Tenants, The Special AKA, The Skadows, Blue Riddim Band, GM49, The Tearjerkers, SLK, The Fabulous Titans, Duck Soup, Ritchie & The Loosers, 004, The Igniters, Fishbone, The Targets, No Nonsense, The Skatalites, The Pressure Boys, Schwarz Weiss Mafia, JB’s Allstars, The Tuners, Gaz’s Rebel Blues Rockers, Os Paralamas Do Sucesso, The Toasters, Top Ranking, The Kyber Rifles, The Dynamics, General Public, Crazy 8’s, Jo Boxers, Soda Stereo, Naughty Rhythms, The Leftovers, Potato 5, The Farm, Kortatu, Bop (Harvey), Off The Shelf, Preceptos Devotos, Redskins, Foxy, Plate O Shrimp, Fine Young Cannibals, Rude Guest, The Squids, Los Prisioneros, Les Gangsters, The Blue Beat, Camper Van Beethoven, Rhyth-O-Matics, Bim Skala Bim, Itchy Feet, Forest Hillbillies, Culture Shock, Los Fabulosos Cadillacs, Rebel Rockers, The Uptones, Second Step, The Deltones, Mighty Ballistics Hi-Power, Ejectivos Agresivos, Urban Blight, The Internationalists, The A-Kings, The Bosstones, Skaos, Club Ska, Maroon Town, The Trojans, Los Intocables, The Funaddicts, Beat Brigade, Bluekilla, No Sports, Potato, El Bosso & Die Ping Pongs, Kongo, La Ppisch, Skatala, Just Kidding, Korroskada, Los Vidrios, Scram, The Boilers, Babylon Fighters, Mute Beat, Nuclear Device, The Restrictors, Gangster Fun, The Donkey Show, Mr Review, The Busters, Operation Ivy, The Ska Flames, Casino Royale, Desorden Publico, Hotknives, Lets Go Bowling, The Loafers, The Braces, No Doubt, Napoleon Solo, Skin Deep, NY Citizens, The Madness, Les Frelons, Ranking Roger, Blechreiz, Statuto, The Skeletones, The Frits, The Pork Hunts, Little Chief, The Bonediggers, The Hatmasters & Blue Chateau!

[erinptah]

Super Drags review (tl;dr Show Good)

The post where I do my best to spread the Good News, that there exists a saucy gay drag-queen magical-girl animated comedy and everyone should watch it.

Okay, not everyone -- I'll give some caveats at the end -- but definitely a heck of a lot more people than Netflix has bothered to advertise it to.

Look at this! Why did nobody tell me about this??

What is Super Drags?

Fast facts:

It's a 1-season, 5-episode adult animated comedy series, released in November 2018

Here's the official page, with a free-to-view trailer

It packs more explicit, unashamed queerness into those 5 episodes than any other cartoon I can think of

The only possible competitor would be if you took the whole 5000-episode run of Steven Universe and pared it down to a supercut of Just The Gay Parts

This in spite of being produced in Brazil, which (in my broad understanding, as a total non-authority on the subject) is more oppressively, dangerously homophobic than the US

The original is in Portuguese

There is an English dub, fabulously voiced by contestants from RuPaul's Drag Race

It's wrapped in "for adults only!" warnings, not because the content is any less child-friendly than (say) your Bojacks Horsemen or your Ricks and Mortys, but because Brazilian authorities tried to get it shut down on the grounds of this much gay being Harmful For Children

It was (heartbreakingly) not renewed for a second season

Here's a promo video, in which the main characters (Portuguese, with subtitles) play Drag Race judges for Shangela, who ends up voicing Scarlet in English.

And here's a beautiful flashy music video of the big musical number! (Also Portuguese, no subtitles, but the melody and the visuals stand on their own.)

Plot and worldbuilding stuff!

The elevator pitch is "What if Charlie's Angels, but also drag queens, with superpowers, because magical-girl transformations?"

In this universe, all LGBTQ people have magical energy. The Big Bad is an evil magical-drag-queen nemesis who tries to drain our energy for her own purposes. It's like if Ursula from The Little Mermaid was a first-season Sailor Moon villain.

...sidenote, in case you were worried, the representation isn't "cis gay men and nobody else." There's a butch lesbian in the recurring cast, a genderfluid person (in that specific word!) as a one-off love interest, and all the ensemble scenes are wonderful collages of different races, body types, and gender presentations.

Our heroes also fight non-magical everyday homophobes, who get written with scathing realism.

The moment I knew the show wasn't pulling any punches was in the first episode, where a newscaster complains about being Silenced by the Law of Political Correctness, then chirps "however, we have a special guest who is thankfully above the law!"

According to the reviews I've found from Brazilian viewers, it's also pitch-perfect when it comes to local queer culture, community dynamics, slang and speech patterns, even memes. All of which flies right over my head, so here's a post (with no-context spoilers) about one viewer's favorite details.

The handful of reaction posts on Tumblr have a dramatic split between "Brazilian viewers fiercely defending the show as culturally-accurate, uplifting, and brave in a terrifying political moment" and "American viewers complaining that the show is problematic because it's a comedy about drag queens with no perfect role models and lots of sex jokes."

As the Super Drags tell their nemesis (and this is also in the first episode): "How dare you try to turn the LGBTQXYZ community against each other? We do enough of that on our own!"

In between missions, our girls work sitcom retail jobs and deal with other everyday problems. All of which are written in amazingly nuanced and thoughtful ways for a show that also features "defeating an orgy monster with a lip-sync battle."

Detailed character stuff!

Our heroes are Color Coded For Your Convenience!

The Super Drags themselves go by "she" in-uniform, and a lot of the time when out of it. Like the Sailor Starlights, only more so. I'll roll with that.

In blue: Safira Cyan, or Ralph by day, an excitable college-age kid who's built like a football player and squees like a fangirl. (She's an anime fan in the original, and for some reason all the otaku references were replaced in the dub, but you can see them in the subtitles.)

Ralph lives with her younger sister (they play video games together!) and their dad, comes out to them mid-series, and is very shippable with another young guy who starts out reciting the homophobic beliefs he was raised with but whose heart clearly isn't in it.

Safira's weapon is a classic magical-girl wand that casts protective force-fields. Which are shaped like condoms. Because of course.

In yellow: Lemon Chiffon, aka Patrick, the oldest of the group and generally the smartest/most strategic. In most cases, the other two treat her as the de facto team leader -- unless she pushes it too far.

By day she's a single guy with thick thighs and thinning hair, who has some body-image insecurities on the dating scene. And this show has Things To Say about unrealistic beauty standards within the community...not to mention, about masc guys who look down on anyone too flaming or femme because straight people disapprove.

Lemon's weapon is a fluffy boa that can be used as a whip or a lasso, especially when there's a bondage joke to be made.

In red: Scarlet Carmesim, also Donizete, the loudest and most aggressive teammate with the most cutting insults, who refuses to suppress that attitude in an attempt to appease racists. (But will give it a shot when trying not to get fired.)

Donny still lives in her religious/homophobic mom's apartment, and I'm pretty sure it's because neither of them can afford to move out. Her rock-solid sense of fierce self-confidence is the reason it doesn't bring her down.

Scarlet's weapon is a fan that she uses to throw shade. Yeah, you knew that was coming.

The Charlie to these angels is Champagne, who runs operations from a cool magitech compound and breaks the fourth wall at the end to petition for viewers' support in getting a second season.

...we let her down, folks :(

So here's a thing. The show never draws a sharp line between "people who become drag queens because it's a way they're driven to express themselves as gay men" and "people who become drag queens because they were trans women all along." That's consistent with how South American LGBT+ culture works. (Again: best of my knowledge, not personally an authority on this, etc etc.)

Many of the characters, including Champagne, never describe themselves in ways that translate to one of our sharply-defined Anglo-USian identity categories. And I'm not going to try to impose any English labels on them here.

But I can say (in contrast to Safira, Lemon, and Scarlet), Champagne never switches out of her "drag" name/voice/presentation, not even in the most candid off-duty scenes, and still has the same bustline when naked in the tub. Make of that what you will.

You Should Watch This Show

If you have a Netflix subscription, watch Super Drags!

If you ever do a Netflix free trial month in the future, make a note to yourself to watch Super Drags!

It's one of their original productions, so there's no risk of missing your chance because the license expired. But it's absolutely not getting the promotion it deserves. Which means potentially interested viewers won't find it, which means Netflix will think there's no interest, which means they'll keep not promoting it...etc etc etc.

No idea if there's any chance of getting it un-canceled, but maybe we can at least convince them to release it on DVD.

And the sheer gutsiness it took for a group of Brazilian creators to produce this show in the first place -- that deserves to be rewarded with your attention.

In spite of various anti-discrimination laws that sound good on paper, the country has serious problems with homophobia, transphobia, and anti-LGBT violence (warning, article has a violent image which is only partly blurred).

Maybe the creators could've gotten a second season if they made this one softer, less sexually-explicit, more restrained...but honestly? I bet that wouldn't have helped.

Consider Danger & Eggs, an Amazon original cartoon. It was made in the US, thoroughly child-friendly, and restricts its LGBT+ representation to things like "characters go to a Pride celebration...where nobody ever names or describes the quality they're proud of."

And it didn't get renewed past the first season either.

(Note: it had a trans woman showrunner and a queer-heavy creative staff, so I blame all that restraint on executive meddling, not the creators themselves. The showrunner even liked the tweet of my review that complains about it.)

So there's something very satisfying about how Super Drags went all-out, balls-to-the-wall (sometimes literally), all the rep explicit and unapologetic, packing every 25-minute episode with all kinds of queer content that would be censored or muted elsewhere -- but here it's exaggerated and celebrated and just keeps coming.

(...as do jokes like that, and I'm not sorry.)

Okay, there are a few legitimate reasons to not watch this show

Some caveats.

None of these things are Objectively Bad Problems that the show itself should be shamed for...but maybe they're genuinely not your cup of tea.

It does have actual Adult Content beyond "the existence of gay people." This show loves to swing barely-clothed cartoon genitalia in your face. There is, as mentioned, an orgy monster. If that kind of humor is going to bother you too much to appreciate the rest of the show, give it a pass.

I wasn't kidding about how realistic the homophobes are. Opening of the first episode has a guy trying to murder a busload of people while shouting slurs at them. If that level of hatred on-screen is gonna crush your soul, even in a show about sparkly queens flying to the rescue with dick-shaped magical weapons, don't push yourself.

Any fiction with this much crossdressing and gender-transgressing is going to hit some trans viewers in a bad way. Because trans people are such a broad group, with so many different experiences, that Every Possible Trope Involved pushes somebody's buttons. (See also: "some trans readers complain about a storyline that turns out to be drawn from a trans writer's actual life experience".) If this show goes does gender things that turn out to be personally distressing for you...or even just distressing for this specific time in your life...don't feel obligated to keep watching.

It has aggressively-sassy queer characters making jokes and calling each other things that are affectionate in-context, but would not be okay coming from straight/cis people. If you can't wrap your head around that, go watch something else.

Other Than That, Go Watch This Show

For all its big heart, big ambitions, and big gay energy, Super Drags is tiny enough that I've binged the whole show 2 times in the past 2 weeks. Thankfully, it's highly re-watchable -- lots of fun background gags and subtle foreshadowing that you don't catch on the first round.

(Pausing one last time to appreciate that a show with elements like "the high-tech robot assistant is called D.I.L.D.O." can be subtle at all, let alone be this good at it.)

I've also paged through all the fanart on Tumblr and Deviantart, looked up the single fanfic on the AO3, and started brainstorming plans to request it in Yuletide next year. Someone, please, come join me in (the English-language side of) the itty-bitty fandom for this ridiculous, glittery, over-the-top, fabulous series.