#aka that really busy week I had? that i dont remember it I actually posted about it not?

[bookwyrminspiration]

THE CURSE AT LAST LEAVES MY TORTURED SOUL TO REST

[skania]

Warning really long read SORRY! I'm new to the fandom I started by watching episode 1 but dropped it for weeks until I saw reels comments and pictures going crazy with Akane. I picked it back up and started the manga after, Akane and Aqua of course became my favorite characters as I was able to personally connect with them through struggles I also faced. Your post have been very helpful as theres not to many places that aren't filled with negativity surrounding these two characters. These two characters have struggled so much and I can see how much they've come to truly care for each other especially when no one else was there. I wanted to share my thoughts with you but hesitated because I feel like they might not make sense. If it doesn't make sense please dont share I'll understand lol

"Kurokawa Akane is a child who takes you there Arima Kana is a child who brings you back"

This tweet from august 2021 from the author Aka Akasaka has alot of people trying to figure out the meaning, many interpret it and paint Akane in a bad light. When I first saw read it I just found it wierd how it was worded and how everything Akane has done for Aqua is always misinterpreted and they try to make her look as a bad person when she's actually far from it. It really got me thinking and this is my interpretation..

In chapter 51 we see how Akane has figured out the twins could possibly be Ai's secret child she got from her character analysis assumptions. She saw how badly it still affects Aqua and sympathized with him she herself knows the feeling of not wanting to worry others trying to take on the burden by yourself, she knows he cant talk to no one about the incident since it would expose Ai's secret. Akane truly cares about Aqua wanting to be the one by his side and helping him share his pain wanting to take her role of his girlfriend more seriously.

That specific tweet came out august 5 2021 the same day chapter 52 was released. The title of chapter 52 is called "boyfriend girlfriend" and at the beginning the editor note says "Where and how is Akane looking after the sick Aqua?" The chapter starts with Akane cooking a full course meal for Aqua and everyone there. We see the director and his mom complimenting her cooking then the directors mom says something that catches my attention she says "AQUA-KUN! SHE'S A KEEPER, HON! EATING DELICIOUS FOOD IS HAPPINESS ON ITS OWN YOU KNOW?" We then see Akane trying to feed Aqua but he ends up eating on his own we see him thinking its good and even blush alittle. During that time Akane is thinking to herself how she wants to help Aqua with his pain/burden just like he had saved and supported her. After we see Aqua lighten up allowing her see old acting videos of his she finds out from the director how he's been having his PTSD attacks when he acts and remembers his past experiences like earlier that day. She notices his performances are prepared in advance with no emotion behind his acting. Akane then asks Aqua why he's doing theater/acting work as its connected to his trauma. He tries saying she wouldn't understand and won't tell her why but after telling him how hes being contradictory he opens up and says well "What If My Goal Was To Kill Someone?" And how the person was high up in the entertainment world had to keep climbing in order to kill them he then asks her "What Would You Do Then?" Aqua was expecting her to not understand him and probably a negative reaction but to his surprise Akane replies "I'd Kill Them With You." with a smile making his negative emotions go away from his eye and even telling her not to say that lightly. Akane acknowledges if it's him he must have a reason and even if hes truly evil she'd still accept him for who he was. She says how she'd happily carry the sin even if the relationship was only for business purposes making Aqua say she out her mind. Akane then says how she wants his help as her boyfriend against kana and himekawa as she doesn't want to lose and Aqua realizes he should help her as her boyfriend. Even tho Aqua knows emotional acting is hard for him he's willing to practice and take it more seriously to help Akane.

After reading many assume its about the revenege part but i don't think thats it..yes aqua does mention it but he never actually asked her to help him though out the duration of thier relationships Akane finds the dad by coincidence. That chapter shows how they are getting closer and wanting to support each other. So i started thinking about the editors note and what the directors mom had said "Where and how is Akane looking after the sick Aqua" shes cooking for him to make him feel better and it did! The directors mom says how eating delicious food can make you happy and though out the whole manga the word "HAPPY" has always been associated with Akane and Aqua. Even in chapter 50 before his PTSD attack when thinking about happy memories his first thought was Akane related then Kana then the idol group. In every star eye color change he's had Aqua has thought of her as part of his happiness!='( So i was think what if the tweet maybe meant "Akane will take him to Happiness" because we actually already saw she did and he was fighting so hard not wanting to leave it but had no choice to protect her. Aqua is no longer there so thats when I started thinking about Kanas part. After recent chapters i started thinking what if Kana is going to help Aqua get back with Akane in the end. I'm thinking how tho then when I think bout how she's so similar to sarina and Ai what if she confesses to Aqua making him finally understand how he truly feels. The reason i also think this is because in the play arc when princess Saya(played by akane) dies Tsurugi(played by kana) helps in bringing her back to life and reuniting with Touki(played by Aqua). The play has alot of similarities to characters and even to the story you can link stuff together. In the Spur interview mengo says how Aka is a demon of analysis and objectivity.

So to end this my interpretation of the tweet is "Kurokawa Akane is a child who takes you there(Happiness) Arima Kana is a child who brings you back(to akane)"

Hi anon, welcome to the fandom! I wonder how many of us would've dropped ONK if it weren't for Akane and Aqua 😂

Thank you for sharing your theory with me! You explained it very well, so please don't worry about it! I have to admit that it has never occurred to me to read Aka's quote that way, my own read erred on the side of caution. But I mean, if we're here to ship, we may as well have fun while we're at it, right? And your take is so much fun! It's truly a Galaxy Brain interpretation of Aka's statement, and I can only imagine how many minds would be blown by it.

It really is funny how many people interpreted that statement to imply something negative about Akane, when Aka never said that had to be the case 😂

I'm thinking how tho then when I think bout how she's so similar to sarina and Ai what if she confesses to Aqua making him finally understand how he truly feels.

I've been thinking something similar!

The reason i also think this is because in the play arc when princess Saya(played by akane) dies Tsurugi(played by kana) helps in bringing her back to life and reuniting with Touki(played by Aqua). The play has alot of similarities to characters and even to the story you can link stuff together.

Yes!! I'm expecting that scene to be foreshadowing as well. We'll just have to wait and see how Aka plays it out 😂

[olivarryprompts]

Fanfic Friday #11

Welcome to Fanfic Friday! Each Friday I post a new here and on A03. Enjoy x

Read and save it on A03 here https://archiveofourown.org/works/33567529

{fancy suits from dad}

Ships: Peter Stark & Tony Stark, Pepper Pots/Tony Stark

Warnings: swearing, just fluff otherwise :)

Wc: 2,319

Here’s the thing, Peter Parker grew up in Stark Tower, which eventually became Avengers Tower of course. So whilst his whole class was buzzing about their field trip, all he could think was, “shit, shit shit.” His dad was going to embarrass the hell out of him. His Aunts and Uncles were going to endlessly tease him.

So, no Peter was not looking forward to the field trip. Not in the slightest. He still wanted to go, though. He knew that the rumors of his internship being fake were started by Flash, the annoying teen. He also knew that Flash had not once said his real name, preferring the name Penis Parker. It didn’t bother him as much as it used to. Also since highschool began, Flash had calmed down with his bullying. Well, maybe Flash hadn’t calmed down and high school was just bigger and he had thicker skin. And a new support system with plenty of people to go to.

Peter had been adopted by the Starks when he was a mere ten years old. At first, he was terrible at receiving any gifts or even too much attention. Slowly but surely, he got more and more used to it. Now, he wouldn’t not know what to do if any of that was taken away. Plus, he really did find a liking for expensive suits, however shallow. He looked good in them, and his father always insisted on buying him more and more. Tony would always find an excuse to spoil the kid a little more, however much Pepper tried to stop him.

“Peter, please see me after class regarding an urgent matter.”

Brough out of his thoughts, Peter swiftly nodded his head.

He looked at the board to see the words from before still written on them, “Field Trip to Stark Industries!” It might as well have said, “Dig Peter Stark’s Grave!”

“So, let’s get started with today’s lesson, graphing imaginary numbers on the complex plane!” He’d done this one a while back with his father. Something about not only learning applicable science and engineering. Peter tapped his glass, and the episode of Arrow he’d been watching on the car ride over began playing. He’d be ever grateful for his father’s gift of EDITH to him. Pepper had tried to ban him from wearing them to school, but hastily gave up when Peter pulled the spiderman danger card.

“Alright, class dismissed. Please remember to do this homework pages 11-18 on this unit’s homework handout.”

Peter, forgetting his teacher's previous request, was very glad to be on his way home. He was one foot out of the door when the teacher called his name. Now, his day had gone pretty well up to that point. Bucky made pancakes for breakfast, which were delicious. There was wayyy less traffic on the way to school. He’d aced an essay and a couple of quizzes, and then he even participated in PE effectively. But alas, all good things had to come to an end.

“Mr. Parker? The discussion.”

“Right,” Peter thought, joining the teacher at his desk.

“Peter, you are truly a great kid. I know you’ve been through a lot recently and in your life, but it is no excuse to make up an internship. We both know that it is not real. Now, acknowledging that you have a bright future, the administration and I have come forward with an offer. If you agree to write an apology, expressing that you understand what you did was wrong and immoral, you will both be allowed to come on the trip and no punishment will be given to you. If you choose to not take this opportunity, you will be banned from the trip and will be chastised.

Peter just stood there, not really comprehending. Apparently Flash’s little rumors were a lot bigger than he anticipated.

“I-i-I’m not lying,” was all he could manage. He had filed all the right paperwork and proved his internship.

“I’m sorry to hear that you will not come forward with the truth. You have up until the day before the trip to hand in the letter if you change your mind. Goodbye Peter.”

Peter just let his legs take him out of the classroom, then out of the school, and then to the road, a couple blocks away, where his dad picks him up from.

“Hello mini-me.”

“Hey,” Peter said, jumping into the passenger seat.

“‘Hi Dad, thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to pick me up each and every day. Sick new car by the way! I’d love to drive it sometime!”

Peter just rolled his eyes with a smile, “Car looks great dad. McLarren’s are superior yet.”

“Ungrateful, so so ungrateful. What’s got you in a mood then?”

“Nothin,” Peter said, pulling out his phone.

“Oh come on, tell me. Tell me or I’ll call Ted.”

“Ned, Dad. We’ve been friends for like three years.”

“Not the point.”

“Just something at school.”

“Wow how very descriptive. You know I’m trying to do the whole feelings thing here, and you should appreciate that coming from my emotionally stunted self.”

“You’re so dramatic. Basically we’re having a field trip to your tower, and I’m not allowed to go because the teacher doesn’t think I really have an “internship.” Which, to be fair I don’t but that’s on you and not me.”

“Nah na na. I offered you an internship, and you said I’d be bored.”

“It would be. Doing a project for your company under strict supervision of some person would be sucky. I mean I can do anything I want from the lab you built me.”

“I know, but remember technically you are my intern. Remember we did that whole personal intern bullshit for the school.”

“Oh right. Is that why you keep harassing me about submitting all my completed projects.”

“No, that’s all your mother. Something about not wanting a lawsuit over a fake internship.”

“Make sense. She tends to be a lot smarter than you.”

“Ah, I feel so attacked. The abuse I suffer.”

“You’re terrible.”

“I am internally crying, kid. Sobbing.”

“Shut up,” we laughed.

“Who’s home?”

“You saw Buck and Sam this morning. Nat and Steve came back from their mission this afternoon. Thor and Loki are back for dinner tonight.. Strange might be coming round, not sure though. Cliff and the family aren’t back for at least a couple weeks. Oh and Bruce is wholed up in his lab as usual.”

“Shit. Everyone staying till the end of the week.”

“Yeah, oh the field trip. You’re screwed. You should have not told me.”

“Ughhhhh!!!”

“I love your life Petey.”

Peter walked into the kitchen and saw Steve reading a newspaper.

“Uncle Steve! Your back!” he smiled, dropping his bag off near the sofa. Steve got up to give the smaller boy a hug.

“Yep. Mission completed.”

“Nice. Can you tell me about it?”

“Yeah, it was nothing too interesting. We just needed some more intel into a terrorist organization stationed in the US. Most of the mission was recon. The next steps are being taken in a couple weeks.”

“Good to know there’s an active terrorist organization out there,” Peter said lightly.

Steve just smiled, not quite understanding the modern humor.

“Where is everyone else?” he said, realizing the living room was not in it’s normal chaotic state that he’d come to love. The chaos was his favorite reminder that he had so many people. He liked having lots of people, even after all this time.

“Nat and Buck are training, they invited you to join if you want. Bruce is in his lab, and dont worry he slept and ate last night. Not sure about the rest.”

“Right, thanks. I think I’m going to go train.”

Before he knew it, it was Friday morning, and his school was coming to his home. He was going to try very hard to ignore them. To do so, he asked his mum to let him sit in on some meetings. He had an easy in to the R&D and mechanical side of the company via the other interns. He was actually planning on hanging out with some of the “other” interns later that day. They were always happy to let Pete in on their projects and let him give them a hand. But he was always interested in getting more detail about the business side of the company, and he liked to get a window into it. Pepper was always happy to show her son the ropes. I mean he was heir to the company after all, even if he didn’t know yet.

He asked his mum to only schedule meetings after 12 as he requested a sleep in. Pepper was always happy when Peter slept as he was a little too much like his father. So, he woke bright and early at 11:00 o’clock.

After a scroll through his phone and a quick shower, he was ready to pull on his far too expensive Brunellio’s custom suit. It was one of his favorites. His father had got it custom made when he was in Italy, and told him he simply could not resist getting one for the kid. Pepper just smiled.

He had a large breakfast (enhanced metabolism) and headed towards the 34th floor where his first meeting was located. He’d been shadowing his mum for almost a year now whenever it was convenient, so he had the rointine down. He was almost sure he could take over a few of her meetings.

“Hi honey,” Pepper said, giving the boy a quick kiss on the cheek on the way to her own chair beside him. Peter blushed before resuming his professional posture and facial expression.

“Good morning everyone, as you can see Peter will be joining us today. I want to talk about some of the services we provide for our employees and their feedback. I’m aware we have a large portion to talk about so Kendra please take it away on that front.”

The first meeting went smoothly as planned. It was a discussion on the progress of the internal services, aka the IT department. Peter hadn’t learned much about their IT department, so it was good to listen in to. Pre these meetings, he, of course, does research into the background stuff, so he’s not completely lost. Pepper’s assistant usually provides him with a packet of info about the Stark Industries side of things. He is also given a list of key words and concepts he might want to make sure he understands. The research is fun for him, it makes him feel all professional.

Usually he spoke during the meetings, asking a couple questions and suggesting some ideas, but for this one he just learned and took in. The next meeting, however, was very much so his field. He’d spoken a lot with advertising, becoming very interested in the data analysis behind it. He even took a stats class so he could keep up. In that one he asked questions Pepper was on the verge of asking twice. He also contributed to the analysis of data once. Pepper usually liked him to participate as it was good for him, but he always felt bad suggesting stuff to the senior adults. He usually spoke to his mum or dad about projects for the company, preferring that.

They hung back in the room of the second meeting.

“Good job in this one Pete. Took two questions right off my tongue.”

“Thanks ma,” he said, always appreciating some approval.

“That’s all I’ve got for you today, kid. Rest of the stuff is, ya know.”

“Course. Thanks for these two. It was good to learn about internal affairs a bit more. Have a gap of knowledge there.”

“Yeah. Was that the first time meeting our CIT?”

“I believe so.”

“Well, next time we have a broader IA meeting, I’ll pull you outta school,” Pepper suggested.

“Really? That’d be epic.”

“Course, hun. Jarvis, sort that out please.”

“Of course Mrs. Potts.”

“Thanks J,” Peter yelled.

“Anytime mini-boss. No need to disturb the entire floor.”

“Are AI supposed to be so snarky?”

“Dad programmed it, what else would it be?”

“Valid point.”

“Right, got to run. See you later.”

“Bye, love you mum!”

“Love you too, Pete.”

“Jarvis, could you send me the tour plan for the visiting tour today?”

“Absolutely, sir. They’re on your phone now.”

“Thanks J.”

Looking at the plans Peter smiled. He had successfully avoided them the entire day. It said they were supposed to head back to school at 2:30, and it was about to be three. Smile on his face, he trotted down to the lobby to grab a coffee before going to meet Loki at the arcade. Don’t judge them, it was their thing. Taking the private lift down, and then walking straight to the coffee stand and ordering.

“Mr. Parker!” he heard the angry voice of his teacher, “How dare you show up here aft-”

Shit. shit. Shit.

“Edith, call dad, and tell him it’s urgent in the lobby.”

“Of course Peter.”

“Peter, are you listening to me! You are going to face extreme consequences for this.”

“Your coffee,” the man said, not realizing it was Peter, level ten personal of the tower, that was being yelled at.

“Thanks.”

“How dare you get coffee! In this building! Security!”

Tony arrived spotting his son instantly.

“Kid this best be impor- I see.”

“Hey Mr. Stark,” Peter said weakly.

“Mr. Harrington is it? Please stop harassing my intern.”

“H-he, he is y-your intern?”

“Yes. My favorite. Please exit the building and never question him again. You will be hearing from me.”

Let’s just say, Monday was an interesting day. At least Flash backed off, he was definitely an intern at SI, and no one embarrassed him on the trip.

[iloveallmyexes]

ok this is gonna be a lot bc a lot happened this week tw: calorie counting, sexual language

ok so lets start with the positives! i had a rly good week restricting aka fasting and going to the gym. i started taking a new anxiety medication on top of my other two prescriptions but ive already noticed that im not as nervous in public, which is amazing! i went to the beach yesterday which was really fun! i also got 3 of the small squishmallows! i got a stone buddha, a lightbulb, and a hamsa! they r so cute!

ok now for the times i stressed over food this week. i hung out w a friend and we were talking and bonding over our issues w binging. the only difference is i dont really think she has issues restricting. im not invalidating her struggles with food though. i only mention this bc we both were hungry as fuck bc we were talking abt food and then she suggests we get krispy kreme….…… so im like…… haha ok…. and so we both look at the menu. shes looking at it to see which one looks yummiest to her and im fucking frantically opening and closing tabs looking at nutrition facts of every item on the menu with my screen brightness low as fuck so she cant see. and then she says “should i get one donut or two” and a lightbulb turned on in my head! i said “ill get one of the donuts u want and give u half” she said “no u should eat a whole donut bc u deserve to eat a whole donut” i was so faded i shouldnt have said that bc it probably made her feel bad. but like???? how am i going to justify all those calories to myself? one donut is more than my average daily caloric intake. i decided to get donut holes since theyre 45 cal each and i was just going to eat one or two and order an iced black coffee ofc but there was a rly long line so we ended up going to carls jr bc we both hadnt had dinner (or breakfast or lunch muahaha) and we were gonna go to in n out and i was going to get a veggie burger w no spread, add chopped chilis BUT my friend has never had carls jr and there was one across the street and idk we ended up going and ugh im still upset over this shit. i ate a whole burger and a small fry. i thought i was going to throw up on the spot. anyways i went home and went on a full binge. and by that i mean, i had a candy bar, a chicken wing, and a diet coke. idk it was just all junk food i rly felt gross but eating the hamburger made me remember how good food can taste and being full makes me feel complete but also that was my first time being high in a while so realistically i just had the munchies. anyways. the next day was fine. i got poke for lunch i wanted to fast bc of how bad my binge was but i was out w my family. it had spring mix, radish, cucumber, spicy tuna, shrimp, seaweed salad, and wasabi and i gave half to my mom. i was busy yesterday so i didnt track my calories for lunch and honestly im so stressed abt that shit im gonna do that right after i post this. ok and then my friends and i went to a pho place for dinner and i got fried tofu. i only ate 2 and i was genuinely still full from lunch and they were so oily i hated myself for it. and then i had a fucking churro at the beach. im so embarrassed at how fast i ate that shit. like….. :( and then my friend wanted to go to mcdonalds! so ofc i couldnt resist and i ordered a 4 piece mcnugget happy meal. my friend ordered a sprite and a 10 piece mcnugget but they messed up and so we only got the 4 piece and a medium sprite. so i gave her 2 of my nuggets which was perfect actually. i still felt rly gross when i got home. both nights i wanted to purge but there was no where for me to do it. i couldnt do it in front of my friend and i couldnt do it at home bc i wouldve woken up my family. i thought abt purging in a random parking lot on the way home but it was 2 am and i didnt wanna get kidnapped. i weighed myself this morning though and i still lost a pound so yeah idk maybe i was stressed over nothing lol

ok now for the weird shit. i have this friend who is queer and im the last person to think someone who is attracted to girls is automatically attracted to me. but. they made me so uncomfortable last night. before we picked them up my other friend told me that theyve talked abt my body multiple times when i wasnt around or said it quietly enough so i wouldnt hear… and like i feel like thats disrespectful to me as a friend. so anyways we were talking and someone said “group sex” and that friend says “i like group sex? yall arent down huh” and i know its a joke but they do that shit all the time. they’ll make a suggestive comment, hoping we’ll take their bait even though im straight. and then at the restaurant we were seated at the table and that friend stood up and was like “sorry are my boobs in your face haha” …….. im sorry but like imagine a straight guy has a queer friend who did the same shit but was like “sorry is my dick in ur face haha” thats just uncomfortable for anyone, especially if that person has already made it clear that they are sexually attracted to you. at that point i was just grossed out. my other friend told me that they made up a story abt me just to talk abt how big my titties are. they said that i have to squeeze through the door to their balcony bc i have big titties but ive never even been on their balcony. its just creepy. honestly i dont like the way i look at all but i think there are ppl who are attracted to me and they show it to me in weird ways and i think they think bc i maintain my friendliness towards them, that they might have a chance w me. my brothers friends go to our gym and apparently one of them said that their other friend said i was pretty. which is just weird and idk why they would tell my brother that someone said that abt me. and then his other friend said that he thought i liked him bc i was “giving off a vibe” and “giggling” its so fucking gross it makes me wanna never leave my room. one time i was hanging out w my friend and his friend and another girl and afterwards i was trying to tell this guy that he’s too clingy for something thats supposed to be casual and he was like “but we went on a double date” i didnt know the other two ppl were a couple. i thought we were just grabbing lunch. its weird. one time i was hooking up w a 30 yr old who gave me free weed and then he told me he loved me after we fucked. it was gross. idk where im going w this i just have been thinking a lot abt how ppl perceive me lately.

[mego42]

Fic Writer Challenge

tagged by @aadmelioraa who’s doing a really good job seducing me into the last kingdom fandom the content y’all are putting out is *chef’s kiss*

rules: list your three four (shut up i do what i want etc etc) fav fics you’ve written 

there’s blood in my body (i’m holding on) - bellamy/clarke, the 100 (22k, E)

She misses him the way she would miss a sense or a body part; she misses him like something that was always a part of her, even though, realistically, she’d only known him for four years compared to the rest of her life. She misses him like something vital she’d never considered what it would be like to be without until suddenly she was.

Modern AU - Clarke hasn’t seen her best friend for six years and then suddenly she does.

this was my first ever au!! which maybe seems like not a thing considering the switch from genre to modern requires a lot less research but it was still a trip to try and figure out how to translate the characters from one setting to another 

also it’s just near and dear to my heart for a whole bunch of reasons that aren’t any of y’all’s business

oh god it’s so sappy and romantic and i love it a lot idc

the listening ‘verse - beth/rio, good girls (2 parts so far, 55k, E and T)

promptathon #3: 5 outsider POVs on beth & rio getting together somewhere down the line from 3x11. would love rhea, mick, annie, ruby, and dean. not all people have to come around and be supportive, but writer can pick who feels what.

cheating so i can include now use both hands don’t @ me

includes my first ever completed multichapter! cannot believe!

also a fun challenge but this time with POV! i really wanted not only the perspectives to be distinct and unique but the voice and tone and i had a lot of fun sorting out how that would work. if i were to go back i’d probably do more with rhea, i feel like she bore the brunt of me figuring out what i wanted to do while already writing

it's strange what desire will make foolish people do - beth/rio, good girls (2 parts, 5k, T)

my first gg fic(s)(though if i went back i’d make them two chapters of the same thing)!! 

lowkey don’t even remember writing them? 

i think i wrote the first one the same night i watched 302 (aka freshly off of binging the first two seasons + 301 in a week) and the other one right after i posted the first one working off of the 303 promo

it was all a blur of OH MY GOD I HATE THEM AND I LOVE THEM AND IM FEELING A LOT OF STUFF SOMEONE HELP ME

they’re on here bc i dont think i've ever written anything that poured out of me like this and i was a smidge afraid to go back and read them bc idek what they were like, i was functioning in a feverish obsessive haze, but they actually hold up p well? which is neat! i like when surprises are pleasant!

idk i’m weirdly attached to them leave me alone

a song inside the halls of the dark - beth/rio, good girls (89k so far (yikes on bikes), E)

p sure this meme is for completed fic but like i wasn’t gonna put this on here pfffft

violently suppressing the amount of guilt i feel that this is still wip so we’re gonna roller skate right by that one

first ever attempted multichapter! first ever attempt at plot! lots of learning experiences and challenges all around!

it’s also mine and @nickmillerscaulk‘s origin story SO def a fav

(hey kim how do i grammar) (ily)

Tagging @foxmagpie @pynkhues @sothischickshe @hypermania @querenaxx if you’d like 

[hufflautia]

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know 

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them.  my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help. 

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

[angrylizardjacket]

the things we do for likes {Joe Mazzello/Reader/Ben Hardy}

Anon asked: lol ben and joe having instagram wars on who can post the most embarrassing content of reader

A/N: again, written on my phone because the writing demon possessed me at 2am. I'm probs gonna have this as a series akin to B/R/R, aka disconnected vignettes in the same universe. Lemme know if you wanna be tagged. A case of the mondays is a McElroy reference, before you ask. 😊😊

It starts when Joe wakes up to an empty bed and noises coming from the kitchen; noises being footsteps, a loud bang, and some half coherent swearing. There's silence for a moment, then the opening and closing of the fridge. As soon as he's got his wits about him and realises it's just you in the other room, he opens his phone.

"So I wake up to no girlfriend and noises in the kitchen," Joe says after a minute of searching through his closet for his baseball bat, ready to film a bit for his Instagram. As he makes his way to the kitchen now, he holds the bat in frame, "I'm ready to rescue her if it's robbers." He assured the camera, voice still quiet and rough with sleep. Once he gets to the kitchen, however, he stops dead at the sight before him. There's a very long couple of seconds where all that the camera catches is his surprise.

"Why do you have a bat?" Your voice is muffled, as if you're speaking around something, and that's when Joe seems to remember he's filming, he changes to his front facing camera and turns on his phone light, exposing the fact that you're sitting cross legged on the kitchen island, eating a banana with a carton of juice in your other hand. You hiss at the light, arm coming up to sheild your eyes. The light doesn't move, and after a beat you shift your arm so he can see your face scrunched up where you're squinting at him, clearly unhappy about this intrusion into your snacking time. You take another bite of banana.

"Why are you on the counter?" He breathes, a little flabbergasted, and you chew, looking down at where you're seated, as if it's only just occurred to you that it's not exactly a normal chair. After a beat, you shrug, and raise the juice carton to your lips taking a long swig. You were so focused, so deliberate, and so obviously tired and half asleep that Joe couldn't help but laugh.

"Seriously, why do you have a bat?" And you finished the banana and put the peel down beside you with far more delicacy than it reasonably warranted.

"I heard noises and you weren't there, so I thought I'd come protect you from robbers." He explained, moving forward until he was standing next to you by the counter. You gaze into the middle distance for a moment as you contemplated his words.

"I was the robbers." You say, nodding sagely as the realisation comes to you. As if to prove this point, you reach out blindly for the fruit bowl that you'd already accosted once, picking up a lime and trying to fit the whole thing in your mouth. The last thing the video catches is Joe lunging forward to pull the fruit from between your teeth with a surprised exclamation before the video cuts off.

It's there that he realises that you're not half asleep, you're completely asleep, and sleep-eating at that. You're compliant enough when he leads you back to bed, though you adamantly refuse to let go of the juice, and you sit it triumphantly on your bedside table before promptly falling back into bed. Despite everything, Joe can't help but be endeared as he settles in beside you.

The video goes up the following morning after he shows it to you for your approval.

@joemazzello @yourinstagramhandle: "I had a case of the Mondays!" Me: "What does that even mean?"

@benhardy1 there's so much to unpack here

@benhardy1 also @yourinstagramhandle caught red handed drinking straight from the carton

@joemazzello @benhardy1 listen it was a lot to take in but youre right @yourinstagramhandle there was a cup right beside you!!!

@gwilymlee what is happening over there??

@benhardy1 @gwilymlee i know, im gone for one week......

@yourinstagramhandle I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS!! 😂😭 @benhardy1 @gwilymlee @joemazzello

@yourinstagramhandle dont bully me @benhardy1 i miss you x

@benhardy1 @yourinstagramhandle 😘😘

@joemazzello @yourinstagramhandle @benhardy1 gross (im kidding, come home)

@benhardy1 @joemazzello 🙄🖕 (😘)

It becomes a thing, much to your chagrin, 'a case of the Mondays' becomes a meme the moment Ben posts a video from set, of him walking into his trailer where you'd been waiting for him, only for him to find you laying on his sofa under a fluffy blanket, watching Netflix with a face mask on.

"You took too long, now I'm having me-time." You announced. In the background, the Friends theme song starts.

Ben captions the video 'when you're hit with a case of the mondays', and tags you.

Not fifteen minutes later, Joe responds with his own video posted to his Instagram story captioned 'are mondays contagious? asking for a friend'. The video seems to have been taken not long after Ben's since you're still in a facemask on his sofa in the trailer, the difference is that Ben's in a face mask, and you've got your feet in his lap. The video starts in the middle of a heated argument, and it takes a few moments for the two of you to realise Joe is there, filming. Ben's the first to reach out to him.

"Monica's the worst Friend, right? Back me up here." He asks, and before Joe can even think about answering, you groan loudly, rolling your eyes.

"Ross is obviously the worst Friend, are you kidding me? He's manipulative, he's mean, he's-" you start, carefully extracting yourself from beneath the blanket as you spoke, peeling off your face mask.

"He's a terrible boyfriend and brother, yeah, but he's not the worst Friend," Ben elaborates, following behind you, and Joe quickly takes your spot on the sofa while you're in the bathroom. The argument continues as you wrinse your faces, you taking it in stride easily when you realise your seat's been usurped, sitting yourself in Joe's lap while Ben takes back his original seat. Finally the two of you look to Joe who had been waiting for this moment. The Friends laugh track goes off in the background.

"Well, you're both wrong; the worst Friend is Phoebe." He announced very matter of factly, like it's something he's been sure of for a while. After a beat, both you and Ben groan in unison, you even going so far as to move from Joe's lap to Ben's. That's where the video stops.

You update your Instagram story not long after with a picture of Joe in a face mask, grinning like an absolute fool, captioned 'we got him'.

There's more videos, more pictures, all showcasing you in the worst lighting or weird situations, and all of which you approve before they're posted, despite how embarrassing some of them may seem. Despite all of this, you don't care; it's posted because you're comfortable enough to share yourself with them, even in less than flattering situations, and when you look up, their gaze meeting yours where they're grinning behind their cameras, you can see in their eyes the fondness, the 'yeah, this is the fool I love'.

Ben posts a candid video of you recreating the Risky Business sock-slide scene when the song comes on your Spotify while folding the laundry. The moment you spot him, he stops filming however, because he sees the mischief in your eyes, and the way your hips are moving as you step towards him; you're feeling silly and sexy, climbing into his lap on the sofa, still dancing, though it's more grinding now, and singing the half remembered words. That's not for the rest of the world to see.

Joe posts a series of photos chronicling you forgetting to use an oven mitt to check on the frozen pizza you'd chucked in the oven, and even goes so far as to draw a red circle around the mitt that was literally sitting on the counter beside the oven as you sulked in the foreground of the final photo, holding a bag of frozen peas to your hand. He doesn't post about how he sits you down in front of the TV and brings you a proper ice pack, how he finishes getting dinner all ready and how he and Ben spend the rest of the night doting on you as much as they gently tease you.

They post dumb, nonsense arguments, but not sleepy morning kisses; your reaction to trying food that's way too spicy, even for you, but not how you smile so sweetly over desserts; the way you nap in the weirdest places, bit not how cute you look when you fall asleep on one of them. That's by design. From the outside the relationship is fun and chaotic and bright, but you don't owe the world a confirmation of just how much you love these men. But honestly, the world seems to understand, and somehow that doesn't make you uncomfortable. Though even the small snippets the three of you have shared, it's clear you love and trust each other.

And it comes out in other ways too, other cast members, not that you really mind.

"Tell us about Ben, Joe, and Y/N, are they actually sappy on set?" Gwilym reads out a question during an Instagram live session he's hosting in his trailer to kill time between scenes. "Listen, I'll tell you what, they're worse on set," he tells his audience with playfully annoyed expression, getting up. "Joe's trailer is right next to mine and if I check-" leaving his own trailer he takes his phone with him, knocking on the one next door as the comments of his live show go absolutely nuts, "I bet all three of them are in there." He mused.

Joe opens the door, yawning and rubbing his eyes, clearly having just woken up. "Keep it down, man," Joe mumbles before he sees the phone in Gwil's hand.

"Sorry I woke you, say hello to Instagram, Joe." Joe grins, giving a wave when Gwil holds up the phone. "They were asking about you three," he knows without having to ask that you and Ben are with him. Whenever you came to visit the set the three of you stuck pretty close together.

"They're still asleep," Joe steps aside to allow Gwil to peak inside. As promised, you and Ben were draped over each other on the sofa, though your feet have clearly been moved where Joe had to extract himself to answer the door. The UK Office is playing on someone's laptop. You yawn in your sleep and nestle in against Ben further, even Gwil's heart melts a bit at that.

"Alright, sorry to wake you," Gwil smiles and retreats as Joe stifles a yawn and assures him it's no trouble at all. When he's back in his own trailer, Gwil takes a breather before going back to looking at his live stream.

"They're cute, it's disgusting at times, how cute they are, and yeah, no, they don't show a lot of that in public, but they do really care about each other." He paused, shrugging, "and sometimes they're just weird. I saw Joe dare Ben to try and eat a whole apple in one bite, and he tried, and Joe video called Y/N when it got stuck, but it turns ou her solution was for her to eat a whole apple in one go too, to see how to get out of it; it just got stuck. They all seemed surprised by this, and it was just one of those times where I was like 'ah, yes these people make sense together', you know?" He shrugged, grinning as he read a few comments, "yeah it really did feel like they all got hit with a case of the mondays."

Taglist: @cosmicsskies

shoot me a message and I'll add you xx

[nbapprentice]

there’s so, so, SO much nonsense surrounding this game that i’m gonna do my best to separate it into digestible bits, with its own categories. even then this is... wow. it’s big.

Warning tags will be added at the start of every section, but the general gist is: incest, pedophilia mentions, fetishization of rape and abuse, fetishization of mlm, fetishization of people of color, racism, ableism, nb erasure and transphobia. aside of the warnings, this post will also touch upon Scummy Business Practices

let’s get going

Dana Rune’s and Elle’s lack of moral fiber: #incest #pedophilia#rape and abuse fetishization #homophobia

tl;dr: dana loves incest porn, elle loves guy on guy rape, and the both of them are friends with at least one pedophile

dana rune has run, is still running an incest zine (please visit my faq on what i think about “thats not really incest” and “it’s just fictional!”). The Arcana, as a dev team, clearly does not care, as shown in their e-mail responses.

dana also very much doesn’t care and has reacted to any criticism on this by dismissing people and blocking actual incest victims who tried to contact her about it claiming it was for her “mental health”

in some tweets she claims she “interprets” the characters as not siblings, but she never really cared enough to cover her ass when it all began (she happily admits she’d “cross the incest line”)

dana has commissioned artists who also ship incest, draw near-pedophilic art that’s supposed to pass as acceptable because the character involved is supposedly not a minor despite looking like a child down to wearing pigtails (the character is also wearing a racist-ass belly dancer outfit), AND even made white-washed fanart of The Arcana.

dana follows twitter user kapymui who also produces incestuous Fire Emblem art

dana has retweeted omocat long after it came out that omocat is, at the very least, consuming pedophilic content (on “omocat didn’t know what shota meant!”: yes they did)

moving on, elle has a long, long, LONG history of fetishizing mlm and the rape and abuse that comes with yaoi and had a rich, RICH “yaoi” tag before they deleted their tumblr

they curiously deleted their tumblr right after i made this reblog

shortly after that, tumblr user thalassiq remade and started attacking and insulting any blogs criticizing them - even people providing support in IMs. Since this doesn’t match Dana and Elle’s normal pity parties I’m personally willing to believe they were just a person wanting to start shit - but it’s so telling how Elle used this chance to dismiss everyone who disagrees with them by calling them “children” and did not even bother to offer a kind word to people who were harassed and even had their trauma mocked by this person. It costs 0 dollars to say “that was not me but I’m sorry about people who were hurt.”

Dana and Elle are close with Ava’s Demon creator Michelle Czajkowski aka that one person who endorses child porn of her characters, and even had her draw a promo image for the game. Michelle has been creating highly sexualized content of her minor characters for a while now.

ok so elle and dana are gross freaks, how is that related to the game?

oh it’s very very related

Dana Rune’s and Elle’s lack of moral fiber that’s Actually Inside The Game or The Game’s Blog: now with more #racism #fetishization of poc and mlm #whitewashing #fat hate #pedophilia #nb erasure #transphobia

tl;dr: the arcana is filled to the brim with racism! so much of it! haha holy shit! and that’s not even where it ends!!!

their game is rated PG-13 but includes incredibly sexual situations such as Julian making this fucking face while getting off on pain. This isn’t the only time Dana and Elle use their videogame aimed at young teens to showcase their kinks and fetishes. I have no issue with NSFW or titillating content, as long as it’s rated accordingly. This content is NOT and it’s a blatant disregard for their audience just to have a larger, more pliable demographic and have more money sent their way.

if you start your argument with “well, teenagers look at porn” 1. shut up 2. theres a HUGE difference between teenagers going after adult content aimed at adults, and adults creating content they know will be seen by kids barely starting puberty

as pointed above, dana has 0 qualms literally commissioning people who make whitewashed fanart of her own fucking game that’s supposed to be all about the inclusivity and safe spaces

thearcanagame blog has a pattern of reblogging whitewashed fanart (before you come in swinging with the good ole “ITS THE LIGHTING”: 1. no it isnt 2. the artist should’ve picked better lightning then 3. i draw and post shit online too so dont come telling me i just dont understaaaand),

fanart of their fat characters showed skinnier than they are in their sprites (although to be real for a moment - Portia is curvy at most and them behaving she’s fat rep is HILARIOUS).

going back to NSFW content: nadia and asra are overwhemlingly sexualized in the game, and were the first to have sexualized CGs and sprites introduced.

CGs: Asra’s here, here aND HERE, Nadia’s here with a NSFW warning because she’s just got her whole fucking ass out. Sprites: Asra’s thank god for whoever compiled it all in one image, Nadia’s and once again, NSFW warning lmfao!

Julian’s sprites on the other hand are noticeably tamer, including the one where he’s fucking strapped in leather. His only sexual (NSFW warning because its literally softcore tentacle porn WHICH, ONCE AGAIN, SHOULDN’T BE PUT IN A GAME AIMED AT 13YOS) CGs were also included months after Nadia and Asra received any of theirs.

Through all of the updates, people have constantly requested that Asra and Nadia’s sexualization be toned down, and time after time The Arcana just churned out fetishistic, hypersexualized content at an absurd rate, especially when compared to the one white love interest.

Oh, speaking of the one white love interest: Julian is based off of Jeff Goldblum (this is not spectulation - they p much bring it up at any given time) but like. If Jeff Goldblum was white. They base their favorite love interest off their supposed favorite man in the world but casually leave his skin tone behind. Lmao.

they also play favorites very obviously - in the prologue, Nadia and Asra have a romance paid scene each. Julian has a scene... that requires no coins. Julian was also the first LI to receive three CGs, two of them requiring no coins, while both Asra’s and Nadia’s first CGs were behind a paywall

Dana and Elle have been notoriously skittish about confirming or denying their characters’ ethnicities. After hyping for weeks on thearcanagame that they would confirm the character’s races they basically made a post that amounted to “well they’re not white lol!”

they only relented after the perfectly understandable outrage... and posted a thread about it on Elle’s twitter. Nothing on the actual thearcanagame blog. Anyway, here’s the thread. Note how there’s mention of Julian being Jeff Goldblum... but nothing about him and Portia being Jewish (or “fantasy Jewish” as it were).

The one time they did confirm their jewishness dana then backpedaled and said she shouldn’t have done that lol.

another fun tidbit of how well The Arcana handles race and how much it cares about feedback from fans: an ask was sent about an anon begging for Nadia to step on them. The blog, with the finesse of a bunch of horny dumbasses, didn’t just publish the ask, but approved of it (even though the fans of color had long, long, LONG been telling everyone not to fetishize Nadia into a “step on me kween” wet dream). People were outraged, of course, and the blog ~apologized~ and said they were still learning.... then a new chapter included a scene of Nadia stepping on the Apprentice. 🙃

not to mention elle, on their twitter, made a passive aggressive “women can be doms?” tweet, trying to twist it into a “yr oppressing women” angle (when the issue is that women of color are always constantly portrayed as aggressive and domineering)

Now for a wombo combo of racism and Elle’s fetishization of mlm:

the devs have spoken at length of how Julian’s and Asra’s relationship was quite unhealthy. In a paid scene in Asra’s route, they’re depicted as Asra being disgusted w Julian touching him+Julian following Asra to his shop when Asra refused his offer to go with him (aka julian... stalked him lmfao).

.......... this scene is promptly followed by a highly sexual scenario where Julian’s pain fetish is played up. Remember how this game is rated PG-13? Me neither. Asra’s previous disgust with Julian is also forgotten, for some reason (and by some reason i mean Elle wants to make them fuck w/o buildup or logic).

Then Asra’s route has yet another paid scene dedicated to Asrian, even though he’s supposed to not even like Julian! And be head over heels with the Apprentice! But Elle just has to make these two be entangled despite insisting their relationship was not good for either of them!

Now here’s the kicker: Julian doesn’t have any paid scenes related to his romance with Asra. Note how it’s one of the brown LIs whose route is highjacked by the white LI, but not vice versa. Hmmmmm.

Now, on the topic of Asra: thearcanagame has said repeatedly that he’s nb and uses he/him pronouns, and promised (since last year) that there would be dialogue where he speaks about his gender

as of the making of this post such dialogue still does not exist

so basically asra is the nb to dumbledore’s gay: anyone who just plays the game w/o keeping up with the official blog has no idea of what asra’s gender is supposed to be.

aka he’s not nb. he’s just a cis guy. the arcana just doesn’t want to put its money where its mouth is, i dont care if elle is nb themself. the team made a promise which has not been fulfilled yet and i suspect will not be.

instead, our introduction to canon nb characters is... these two.

By “these two” i mean neither vulgora nor valdemar are even fucking human, and stick out like sore thumbs with their monstruousness.

so our nb rep is... non-human villains. a few books later one of Nadia’s sisters with they/them pronouns shows up, but that’s too little too late on top of the fact that we should’ve known Asra was nb from the first to begin with. It’s a fucking embarrassment and an insult.

at least two villains are visibly disabled (Lucio’s missing arm and Volta’s blind eye+intentionally asymmetrical face). Julian’s eye doesn’t count because, spoilers, he’s not lacking an eye and even if he was it’d still be hidden behind a dashing eyepatch instead of grotesquely displayed as a sign of his lacking morality.

BUT WAIT! IT DOESN’T EVEN END THERE!

The Arcana Exploits The App Business Model To Price Their Full Game at $500, $1000 if the three extra routes make it out, and they never delivered their Kickstarter rewards:

tl;dr: you heard me

the original price per route was planned on being $1.99

they took that “subject to change” really seriously, it seems, because now each route, once the game is fully out, is estimated to cost around $170 each.

both those screenshots are taken from this post which explains in detail just how truly scummy all of The Arcana’s business model and decisions are: https://mysticmicrotransactions.tumblr.com/post/174308723344/dishonesty-from-the-arcana

the tl;dr is basically what’s listed in the beginning of this section, but other highlights from that post are: the use of addictive gambling mechanics such the Wheel of Fortune, and the dazzling calls to action in the new mini-game.

something that The Arcana supporters forget (or choose to ignore) is the fact that for a long, long time the game did not have the mini-game or the log-in rewards for coins. Players depended only on the gambling of the WoF or paying absurd amounts of money for the new chapters.

the devs went from playing the victims who were unable of controlling prices to (as spoken of in the link from mysticmicrotransactions) saying the making of the game (a pathetic little app game backed by a studio and a kickstarter) justifies the prices

they also gave people false hope about maybe changing the prices in the future, all while bleeding money from loyal players in “micro” transactions

the arcana literally added a $99.99 coins option on their latest update

in case it hasn’t sunk in yet: you can pay a hundred dollars upfront to the arcana, and you still will not have access to the whole game

there is no defense to this

none

“it’s free stop whining” let me explain:

“spend months on end accumulating fake currency or pay hundreds of dollars up-front to be able to play” is a scummy business model no matter how you look at it

if i can spend $60 upfront to play an AAA game there’s no excuse to demand more than that for a game with much smaller and, honestly, inferior content

the combination of there being already far and few games featuring lgbt characters and characters of color AND the little cult of personality set up by Dana and Elle makes people feel that spending money to support them is an acceptable expense.

it’s not

manipulating people into spending ridiculous amounts of money and then claiming “it’s their choice” is just scummy business, baby, and thats all the arcana does

the devs are brats who instead of admitting $500 is absurd for a game instead write petty little caricatures into their game - like, lbr: dana, elle, if i could afford diamonds in my hair i wouldn’t have even bothered with your shitstain of a game

despite bragging that ppl would get the full story w/o needing to pay, the paid scenes are pretty much required - the first few books of julian’s route have no romance without accessing any of the paid options. you dont even get so much as a kiss in without handing coins over. many, many people were baffled when julian had a teary break-up scene when from their perspective they hadn’t even started building a relationship.

wow that’s more than i ever thought it’d be

and i’ve been aware of their bullshit for near a whole year now!

i don’t have much of a note to end this on, other than: the arcana just isn’t even that good. it suffers from weak writing, pathetic character development and above all actually harmful content. do not try to argue with me on any of these points unless you’ve read all of that, because whatever you have to say i’ve likely mentioned before. if you still are that determined to yell at a me on the internet, please preface your argument with the phrase “I’m a pee pee poo poo man” so I know you’ve read everything in here. thank you!

[mathes0n]

you know what im going to say it

I didn’t love how Aradia was treated in the epilogues

Now, don’t get me wrong. They’re such minor issues, especially when you compare them to the epilogues as a total. In fact, I heavily debated even bringing these points up. I feared that it would come across as me simply being unsatisfied with anything Aradia-related that Homestuck would give me at this point, when in reality I actually enjoyed the Aradia scenes more than any other parts of the epilogues! Granted it was because Aradia was mostly written in character, and her scenes and involvement were relatively harmless, but I enjoyed her parts. Especially when I considered what it must feel like to be a Dirk or Jane fan in these times, I couldn’t help but be grateful for what I got.

Regardless, I’ve got some minor issues and I’m gonna share em

I didn’t like Aradia getting dragged around. An aspect of Aradia’s arc goes as follows: Aradia refuses to submit to Vriska, and as a result gets killed. As a ghost, Aradia submits to the will of the ghosts telling her what to do. Equius tries to program it so when she enters the robot body, she submits and fall in love with him. Aradia is forced to submit to the game of sburb. It isn’t until Aradia comes back to life that she finally can live for herself again. Now, Aradia can be the passive pacifist that she always wanted to be, and no longer be forced to the wills of anyone else. A huge part of her arc was getting her agency back; not to mention, the parallels of her ancestor being forced against her will to work for Lord English.

In the Candy epilogue, she’s literally stated to be Alt!Calliope’s “servant”. Through all of the epilogues, she lacks agency and mostly listens to other people and... it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. SPEAKING OF WHICH;

I didn’t like the whole funeral scene. It’s been awhile since I read homestuck, and I’m really not about to reread scenes from it right now, but from what I remember, the whole “corpse party” thing was a big misunderstanding. Aradia came from a culture where the dead (like her) weren’t cared for at all, whereas human culture has a whole celebration for the dead (aka a funeral). Aradia wants to engage in this human norm to honor her dead friends; however, everyone interprets this as creepy, while Aradia expresses that she genuinely wasn’t trying to be. It’s a scene thats often misinterpreted by the fanon, which is how the “Aradia is creepy and loves people to be dead” thing got started

So like... the funeral scene just having Aradia burst in like “hi im creepy and love people to be dead” just. Eugh. Bad taste. I’m willing to believe that maybe Aradia’s curiosity over the dead body was because she could tell something was up with it, but the dialogue doesn’t really support that

also her and jake were finally in the same room after all this time and THEY DIDN’T INTERACT :(

Like Ive said, these are such minor complaints in the grand scheme of things. You could argue “well everyone was OOC”, which is true, and “oh everyone was ooc on purpose the epilogues were supposed to suck ass” but i rlly dont care about those types of arguments. 

The point of this post is that Aradia is the one character in media that matters the most to me and I didn’t like how the epilogues handled her character very much :( If the epilogue were better written and Aradia’s scenes were the same, then I’d have a much bigger issue, but as it stands, I’m just happy that Aradia was mostly a passive observer to all of the bullshit in these shitty epilogues. I guess at the end of the day, that’s all I could’ve asked for

if youve read this far then tysm!!! sorry if its not entirely coherent, its 3 in the morning and ive had a fairly busy week + a huge con im selling art at this weekend. im a busy baby

[maylovexhs]

Hi darlings! It’s May! So first thing first, THIS IS NOT AN IMAGINE OR UPDATE. ITS JUST ME TELLING MY EXPERIENCE ABOUT MY HARRY SHOW. YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT IF YOU WANT TO. I saw a bunch of people doing threads and posting about how wonderful their time is and I was like I want to do it! I, in no way am trying to show off or brag about it. I just want to post it here because I’m friendly with y’all and I’ll just have the story on here for safe keeping. So ignore if you want(I put the keep reading for that) but yeah here’s my concert experience. WARNING: BELOW THE CUT IS A LONG LONG LONG POST. ENJOY THE SHAKY VIDEOS AND MY ANNOYING VOICE. This all happened one month ago ughh procrastination is the devil

I WENT TO SEE HARRY FUCKING STYLES LIVE IN CONCERT NIGHT TWO MSG AND I BLEW A KISS AT HARRY AND HE BLEW A KISS BACK.

. . .

he knows I exist.

Harry Styles knows I goddamn exist.

okay, let’s me backtrack a day or two before my concert. Actually a week, shall we?

So, it’s a week before Harry’s shows in nyc and I’m at home in Brooklyn with no harry tickets for none of the nights because of course 1. Both nights are sold out 2. I couldn’t buy tickets online from strangers cause y’all ever heard of scams? So, I’m at home in misery cause all over my twitter all my mutuals are tweeting how excited they are to go and I’m like “fUcKiNg GrEaT!” I’m pretty sure I posted shit of me gloating on here. ANYWAYS FAST FORWARD TO JUNE 21st, 2018(Harry’s first night/show at msg) and I’m on my living rooms couch on twitter. AND I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS THE UNIVERSE SAYING ‘WE GOT YOU HONEY’ or just a coincidence but the first thing i See is on my timeline is a tweet from ticketmaster saying along the lines of “Due to miscounting . . . There are tickets available for Harry Styles at msg night two . . .SALE” and I . . .i can’t even explain how I felt. It was like destiny. Like “SIS YOU WERENT MEANT TO GET TICKETS A LONG TIME AGO YOURE SUPPOSED TO GET THEM NOW. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE” and I was like “fuck it! I’m going to see my mans in concert and I couldn’t care about how shitty the seats are. It’s Harry of all people” so, I download the Ticketmaster app and ask my mom and my chill ass mom is like ‘really? The day before? This is a sign. God must really want you to see harry” and I’m like “YES”. So I use my moms card(I payed her back after) and buy the two tickets. AND LET ME JUST SAY! THE TICKETS! I GOT LUCKY WITH THE TICKETS. My tickets were seat 8 and 9, row 7, section 113

DO YALL KNOW WHERE THAT IS? THATS RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAGE! THATS THE SIDE BACK OF THE STAGE. And remember Harry’s stage is 360 honeys so I was hyped up. Honestly I thought it’s row 7, it’s not like we are in front! It’s not like he’s gonna see us. I’m bringing this up later cause well, you’ll see. But just remember I’m row 7. So I print out my tickets and I text my friends “HOES GUESS WHAT?” And I immediately text my best friend emmy(her nickname) “BISH IDGAF ABOUT YOUR STRICT PARENTS I WILL DRAG AND SNEAK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THIS WE AINT MISSING HARRY. WE AINT MISSING SEEING THE MAN IVE BEEN IN LOVE WIG SINCE 2012” and thank god her parents said yes. Emmy and I spent like the next two hours like “Oh let’s make a sign that’s says sing Shania Twain still the one Harry!” and we talked about “what should we do in the city tomorrow before Harry’s show?” Our show day was a very busy day for us. Ready? Let’s go!

So, in the morning I had a college orientation with Emmy and my other friend(I’m calling her Anna for privacy reasons). I arrived there early so from 9:15 am, Anna Emmy and I were learning about our college and making our schedule. We left around 12:30 pm. Emmy and I decided to leave for the city after but we had to pee first so THANK YOU ANNA FOR LIVING CLOSE TO COLLEGE AND ALLOWING US TO USE YOUR BATHROOM. GRACIAS. Oooooh, fun fact: June 22nd was also my graduation date but Emmy and I wasn’t going in the first place so YAY!

Anyways we said goodbye to Anna and we took the train to the city. We stopped at canal street and went to Greenwich village? Why? My friend Emmy is a huge fan of Justin Bieber and 5 Seconds of Summer so we were just like “fuck it! Let’s go hunting for them! Maybe today’s our lucky day” so we are in Greenwich which justin was spotted in but with our luck we couldn’t find him. We were like ‘oh well! Let’s just stroll around’ so we walk and GUESS WHICH APARTMENT BUILDING WE WERE ABOUT TO WALK PAST BY?

HARRY’S. WE WERE ABOUT TO PAST HARRYS APARTMENT. WE WERE ABOUT TO WALK WHERE HARRY WALK. IM TOO HEADASS FOR HIM(btw I don’t stalk him, I didn’t stand outside his building, his apartment address is publicly online and I did not mean to walk past his apartment, IT JUST HAPPENED) I take out my phone and tell emmy where we were and luckily I took a sneak picture low quality of the building. BUT EMMY! EMMY! She was like “I WANT A GOOD QUALITY PICTURE!” Emmy goes, takes a picture of the doors and the security guards give her a mean look from inside the building. And we are like “ABORT MISSION! ABORT!” Moving on, we’re like if we can’t find Justin, we’ll try 5 Seconds of Summer. And guess what? We can’t find them either! At this time it was like, 3 or 4 Pm? And I really need to sit down cause ya girl has no energy whatsoever. So we take the train and go to the area where msg is and we get pizza. Btw msg area is mad busy. Like really busy. Continuing, we finish our pizza. We go check out the outside of msg and I learn that we aren’t allowed in until 6 pm(I heard it from girls outside) And i’m like okay? So Emmy and I buy and get these pride flags and we go to wait and sit outside where the driveway is. So we wait there for like an hour hoping we see anyone but we don’t cause that’s out fucking luck. But we saw like a dressing bag like the ones where suit and dresses are carried in. We highly doubt it was Harry’s suit but hey? Oh and I took a picture right here

Anyways it 6, we go inside, get through scanning and while we are in line, everyone decided to airdrop one direction memes and of course I joined

We were let in at 6:45 pm and we were going to our section. By going, WE RAN. Literally we had to be stopped by a security guard to see our tickets. I’m getting off point but we get to our section and I’m expecting us to be in the middle cause it says row 7. And Emmy tells me we are in the second row and I was just like “??? Our ticket say row 7” and Emmy shows me that the section starts with row 6 and I was just like “BITCH WE’RE CLOSER THAN I THOUGHT. WE’RE ROW 2 ACTUALLY”. So we were seated between where Sarah and Adam was going to be. This was our view

Then we put our shit down, I went to get my harry merch(I got a shirt) and we sat there in our seats waiting for Kacey to start at 8:30 and KACEY IS SO CUTE YALL HAVE NO IDEA SHE IS THE YEEHAW QUEEN. I USUALLY DONT LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC BUT THIS SISTER GOT SOME TUNES. Here’s me singing along(eXcUsE my cringy premature voice I’m 19) I was going crazy during crazy

Then Kacey leaves and we gotta wait another 40 minutes for Harry. I kid you not the whole arena was singing Olivia by 1d even the security guard was shook af

As I was saying, we had to wait 40 minutes more for Harry so it was like 9:30 and FUCKING FINALLY HE COMES OUT AND I SWEAR EVERYONE LOST IT 

ONLY ANGEL STARTED TO PLAY AND EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING. HE WAS SHINING IN HIS GODDAMN CALVIN KLEIN BLUE SUIT AND ISTG I KEPT TELLING MYSELF “BLOW KISSES AT HARRY! BLOW KISSES AT HARRY” SO THIS BISH HARRY COMES TO OUR SECTION I BLOW A KISS AT HIM LIKE THIS AND IDK IF HE SAW ME BUT HE BLEW A KISS WITH HIS HAND TO OUR SECTION AND YES IT GOT CAUGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA HOES

I WAS FUCKING SHAKING. CAUSE I WAS CERTAIN DURING THE CHAIN HE BLEW A KISS BACK AND IF HE BLEW A KISS AT ME DURING ONLY ANGEL IT WOULD BE THE FIRST OF TWO my heart is racing just remembering it. I’ll continue. So he finishes only angel and he introduces himself and he’s so cute I can’t even

Then they play woman and someone threw a bra on stage and I was screaming inside

Then they play Carolina, Stockholm syndrome, Anna, esny, jalboyh and finally fucking MEDICINE. I was going crazy during medicine as we all should. Sarah and Adam were fucking ripping the song up and I couldn’t be more proud. Then Harry talked to the crowd more and THIS HOE CALLED THE BACK(aka us) HIS BEST FRIENDS AND IM JUST LIKE THANK YOU. Then they start to play meet me in the hallway and the goddamn back screen goes down, blocking us from seeing Harry perform the song. EMMY AND I KEPT SHOUTING DISRESPECT AND THE GIRLS IN FRONT OF US WERE LAUGHING. then he the screen lifted up again as he finished the song and he goes down the walk to the b stage with mitch. Mitch is so cute fam. And we could see him get a bunch of flowers and I’m like “it’s what he deserves”. So he’s on b stage now and he begins to sing sweet creature and iicf AND DURING IICF WE ALL HAD OUR FLASHLIGHTS ON IT WAS SO NICE AND LIKE HEAVEN. MY BABY HARRY STARTED TO TEAR UP DURING THE SONG AND I JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM. OOH AND WHILE THEY WERE ON B STAGE, SARAH ADAM AND CLARE WENT OFF THE MAIN STAGE. ADAM AND SARAH WERE TALKING OFF STAGE NEAR US I THINK I HAVE A VIDEO BUT ITS TOO DARK. BUT BASICALLY THEY WERE TALKING AND I GUESS IT WAS ABOUT HOW THEY WERE PLAYING CAUSE ADAM KEPT MAKING A GUITAR GESTURE AND ADAM HAD SUCH A GREAT SMILE AND SARAH WAS SO HAPPY So Harry and Mitch come back and they all play two ghosts and then wmyb 

They finish wmyb and Harry talks to the crowd. He talks to a fan who was visiting from another country and he’s like “what did you do here?!?” being all excited. Then he talks to the girl who came with “I AM WITH CHILD” sign and then we found out she lied and harry criticizes her and he’s like “WE’RE ALL TRYING!” and I couldn’t stop laughing. Emmy said she lost some brain cells during that part. So harry begins to talk about sign of the times and me and Emmy were like “let’s shout FUCK TRUMP out loud”. WE DIDNT. We didn’t have the chance to but WE TRIED. The girls in front of us were smiling and laughing at us. I blame Harry cause he kept on talking so he couldn’t hear it anyways. Anyways sign of the times plays and everyone has their flashlights on. IT WAS MAGICAL.

So harry and the band leaves to do something and I’m like “wtf u going” so I start to record and they go under the stage. I guess they were doing a photo down there but they come back on a minute later.

They perform from the dining table and I WAS SO SAD I WAS READY TO FIGHT WHOEVER HURT MY BABY. then from the dining table was over and Harry’s like “I’m gonna sing another song” AND I FUCKING TOLD EMMY “WATCH IT BE STILL THE ONE” and BITCH I WAS CORRECT. So he brings Kacey on

They start to sing still the one and I was in my emotions fam and Kacey wore the rainbow dress and I was like YES QUEEN AND THEY BOTH MADE SO MUCH EYECONTACT IT WAS SO CUTE. Then Kacey leaves and they start to play the chain and I was like HELL YEAH AND DURING THE CHAIN HARRY SAID “DAMCE LIKE NO ONE IS NEXT TO YOU. YOURE NOT GOING TO SEE THESE PEOPLE TOMORROW” AND THAT HIT ME AND EVERYONE ELSE AND I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD THE WHOLE ARENA WAS SHAKING LIKE I COULDNT EVEN STAND BECAUSE I WAS AVOUT TO FALL FROM THE AMOUNT OF JUMPING GOING ON AND THIS IS WAS WHEN HE BLEW A KISS AT ME. SO ITS LIKE THE END OF THE SONG AND HE COMES TO THE BACK AND IMMEDIATELY START TO BLOW KISSES AT HIM WITH BOTH HANDS LIKE BEFORE AND I WAS PRETTY SURE HE SAW ME BECAUSE HE BLEW A KISS WITH BOTH HANDS IN MY DIRECTION AND THEN HE DID THAT TO ALL TE OTHER SECTIONS. BITCH I WAS SHAKING.

The chain ends and they start to play kiwi and I get sad af because I know it’s the last song and harrrys like “this is the last song” and inside I’m like “I KNOW HOE DONT RUB IT IN MY FACE” I have to applaud miss Sarah jones whose fucking drumming was amazing. She fuckingkilled it. Kiwi plays and everyone was losing their shit having the times of their lives and then in the middle of kiwi some girl splashed Harry with water and he sings “YOURE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT” HE GOES STRAIGHT SAVAGE AND SOAKS HER AND EVERYONE AROUND. kiwi finishes and Harry does the whale water spit and oh my god it was ICONIC AF. Harry leaves first then the rest of the band and I was just standing there like SHIT. Emmy had to drag me out. I felt wasted after the concert IT WAS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE. LET ME JUST TELL YOU IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO SEE HARRY LIVE GO FOR IT DONT MISS YA CHANCE. A WHOLE DIFFERENT SIDE OF ME EMERGED THAT NIGHT SO THANK YOU HAROLD I HAD PROBABKY THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE THANKS TO YOU. EMMY AND I GOT TO DANCE WITH OUR PRIDE FLAGS AND WERE SO HAPPY. HARRY MAKES HIS SHOWS SO WELCOMING AND HAPPY. MISS CLARE IS SO CUTE. MITCH AND SARAH ARE SUCH PARENTS AND ADAM IS SUXH A GREAT FRIENDLY PERSON I MISS THEM SO MUCH THATS IT I MISS MY CONCERT SO MUCH I CRY

ALL PHOTO AND VIDEOS ARE CREDITED TO ME AND MY FRIENDS. DONT STEAL. I’ll post the full versions of the videos i have on my twitter. TUMBLR IS A DICK FOR ONLY ALLOWING GIFS of them. 

Btw should I also write about my 5sos iheartradio experience and seeing Harry at the Dunkirk premiere? Tell me if ya want to know byeeee

[lesbiansirius]

mutual(s) pining

a work brought to you by bunfox productions, aka yours truly and @lesbianremus! you can also read it on ao3, right here. big thanks to the lovely @nachodiablo who looked it over for us!

this is a prompt fill for the weekly prompt at @introvert-club. this week it was “internet crush”. anyone is welcome to participate, and use the tag #wolfstar introvert prompt for us to see! enjoy :) 

Some days, scrolling Tumblr is pretty boring. A flower, a transparent backpack, a dejected joke about depression, a dead Soundcloud link, nothing to inspire. Sirius is hunched over their laptop, watching the screen with their chin resting on their hand. A long discourse post they can’t be arsed to read, gifs from a show they don’t watch, and then.

Inspiration strikes.

It strikes in the form of two selfies. The person in them is standing in a sunny garden, curls spilling out from under a snapback, and smiling with their eyes closed. You can see lilacs blooming in the background. The person has freckles and a t-shirt with a whale on it, featuring the text “I’m a little overWHALEmed”. Same, Sirius thinks.

They click follow without even looking at the blog.

Remus squints at the tiny, seemingly innocuous, line of text on her dashboard. It’s sandwiched between a masterpost of transfeminine resources Lily’s reblogged (tagged #dead useful tbh #remus i told u joining tumblr wld be worth it) and a post from one of Lily’s friends about how Glinda the Good Witch is trans agenda (shows up at the beginning of Act 2 with a new name).

padfoot has started following you

Who the fuck is padfoot?

Remus quickly opens a new chat, typing in Lily’s url. She had made Lily show her how to do this chat business first, after changing the aesthetically horrifying default blog layout.

do u kno a padfoot

Lily, eternally both awake and online, replies immediately.

wtf is a padfoot

oooh hang on actually i think i do

???

ya they’re one of my mutuals. mostly posts vids of them singing and reblogs pics of animals, iirc

why are they following me??? i don't want to be followed!!

remus chill ffs. it’s not like stalking. they just see ur posts

i dont even have any posts! well except those pics marlene took that u INSISTED i put up here

ur welcome. i bet they think ur hot ;) ;)

hilarious.

remus when will u accept ur cute n give the people what they want!! (more selfies)

im unfollowing u

my dash would be more appealing w just the staff blog posts

im ignoring ur paltry attempts at threats. also, i just went and looked and ya i had the right person. u should check out their vids

why

its polite 2 at least LOOK at someone's blog if they follow u!! honestly remus my 86 yr old grandma is more social media savvy than u

Remus chooses not to reply to that. She does click on padfoot’s blog, though. Not because Lily suggested it, just because she’s curious. What about some boring pictures of her in a garden screamed ‘good content’ to this stranger? Maybe they’re really fond of lilacs, or something.

“What the fuck?” Remus says, glaring at the still shots of the youtube videos embedded on the page in front of her. Whoever padfoot is, they’re apparently unfairly attractive. Remus clicks play on the first video, half-hoping they’re an appalling singer to make up for the ridiculously good looks.

Two hours later, Remus’ phone buzzes, jolting her out of her Tumblr coma and back into reality.

did u die? Lily wants to know. Remus calls her.

“Why would you assume I’m dead?”

“I’ve been knocking on your door for the past ten minutes, asshole.”

“Oh,” Remus looks guiltily down at the headphones she’d put on three videos in.

“Well come open the door,” Lily gripes. “We’re late.”

*

“Can we be late for a thing that we scheduled between the two of us?” Remus points out, as Lily tugs her down the stairs. “You barely even gave me time to put on proper clothes,” she complains.

“We said pub at five. It’s not my fault you weren’t ready.”

“Actually,” Remus says with a self-righteous sniff, “it was. You’re the one who told me to check out padfoot’s blog.”

Lily pauses, looking over at Remus.

“Yeah, three hours ago.”

“Two and a half,” Remus mutters.

“Wow,” Lily smirks. “I knew they’d be your type.”

“Shut up,” Remus grumbles. “We’re going to be late for Weekly Lion’s Den Bitch & Moan.”

“I thought it was impossible to be late for something we scheduled between the two of us,” Lily says mockingly.

Remus walks off without her, ignoring the sound of Lily’s cackles following her down the street.

*

Sirius straightens up from the computer and looks for James. He’s in downward dog position in the kitchen area, because of course.

“Hey,” they say, “quick question.”

“I’ve told you a million times not to interrupt me while my arse is reaching for the sky.” James sounds a little strained, but he still manages to get in a sigh.

Sirius groans. “This is important!”

“More important than my spiritual health?” But James walks slowly into a forward fold, and Sirius waits for him to get upright, one vertebrae at a time. They tap their fingers against their laptop.

James reaches his hands up towards the sun – or in this case, the orange plastic lamp in their kitchen – then finally gives Sirius attention.

“Okay, what’s the quick question?”

“How long should you be mutuals with someone before casually striking up a friendship?” It’s probably not causal to even ask that literally two minutes after the person follows you back, but whatever.

James rolls up his mat and chuckles. “You’re talking to me, literally the least casual person this side of the equator.”

Sirius frowns. They’re used to James always giving advice. Admittedly, sometimes it’s bad advice, but nonetheless.

“You mean I have to use my own judgment? Eh.”

“When I’m your manager you’ll never have to do that,” James jokes.

Sirius doesn’t reply; they’re actually checking out the pretty stranger’s blog now. The title is ‘why are they forcing me to have a title’ and the bio just says ‘she/her’. The pictures are the only thing on the blog. Well, that didn’t exactly help. Tumblr friendships are usually based on mutual interest. Maybe they could strike up a conversation about lilacs?

“Okay, well, thanks for nothing,” they tell James. “I have nothing to go on, my crops are dying, and I haven’t even posted a video in a week.”

“But your crop tops are fine.” James winks and slumps down next to Sirius, looking over their shoulder at the mysterious whale person. “Wow, pretty.”

“I know! The only good thing on Tumblr today. I need more!”

“You need chill,” James says firmly. “Wanna go to the pub?”

Sirius closes the laptop decisively. “Always.”

“Let me change, I’ll be ready in a few.” James gets up, giving Sirius an unnecessarily detailed view of his ass in yoga pants. “And you should put on one of those crop tops.”

“But remember the last time you went out in yoga pants.” Sirius grins. “Worked out well, didn’t it?”

James shakes his head. “Not tonight, honey, I’m tired.”

“It’s hard work being popular.” Sirius shrugs.

They do take James’ advice to change into a crop top, because even if James isn’t up to being hit on, Sirius could use the validation. And they look fucking awesome in a crop top and fishnets.

It’s just a few days after payday, and the time of day when people are off work, so they only barely manage to get the last free booth. Sirius sits down on the edge of the sofa, strategically placing one leg over the other so they’re visible to the people who pass by. It might not be a whale pun or lilacs, but Sirius’ legs rarely fail them.

James returns with an ale for Sirius and his own awful lager with cordial in it. The pink makes it look pretty, but that’s its only redeeming feature in Sirius’ opinion. James sighs happily when he takes the first sip, though.

“Did I tell you about that movie I found the other day? It’s like a comedy about vampires and werewolves, it’s amazing.”

Sirius listens to James try to explain it, and they then spend a considerable amount of time discussing various vampire questions. Do they get boners, and how? Can vampires be vegan? Are there vampires working night jobs that no one knows about?

Their stomach is hurting from laughing by the time Sirius gets up to get a second round. When they get back, James isn’t alone.

*

Remus pushes the door open to The Drunk Carnation, holding it politely for Lily, in spite of what a pain she’s being today. It is Lily’s turn to buy the drinks, which cheers Remus up slightly. At least if she’s going to be mocked she can do it over some semi-expensive alcohol.

Once they’re seated, Remus quickly changes the subject away from Tumblr.

“So how’s your acting class going?”

“Pretty well,” Lily says, sipping at her Seven and Seven. “That creep still won’t stop asking me out.”

“I thought you were going to ask the cute clumsy one to pretend to be your boyfriend?”

Lily shrugs.

“I still might. It’s sort of hilarious watching him work up the nerve to talk to me, though. I’m not sure if I want to put him out of his misery yet.”

“You’re a cruel woman, Lily Evans.”

“Anyway,” Lily says, shrugging off what she probably considers a compliment, “you aren’t getting off that easy. What did you think of padfoot?”

Remus groans, dropping her forehead onto the table and nearly tipping over her can of PBR.

“They’re fine,” she grumbles.

“Someone’s got a crush,” Lily sing-songs. “Hang on.” Her tone of voice changes slightly, and Remus looks up, following her line of sight. She recognizes when Lily’s ‘cute person’ radar is going off. “Weirdly,” Lily continues, looking back at Remus, “that’s him. They guy from acting class.”

“Oh,” Remus frowns. “The creepy one or the one you’ve set your cap for?”

Lily snorts.

“The latter, Jane Austen.” Remus smiles over the top of her beer, but doesn’t reply. Lily looks oddly hesitant for a moment, before her expression clears. “We’re going to go say hi,” she says firmly. Remus groans, but let’s Lily tug her to her feet. “Oh stop moaning,” Lily says.

“I thought this was a dedicated romance-free evening,” Remus says self-righteously.

“It’s just a hello.” Lily strikes a pose as soon as they’re alongside the table, cocking one hip and tilting her head flirtatiously. “James. Fancy seeing you here.”

The man at the table starts slightly, looking up from his phone. He widens his eyes and nearly drops the poor phone into his drink.

“Lily? Oh. Wow, hi. Hello.” Remus stifles a smile as James glances over at her. “Erm,” he says, getting awkwardly to his feet and holding out a hand. “I’m James.”

“Remus.”

“Nice to meet you,” James says politely, before his eyes drift inevitably back over to Lily. “Would you two like to sit?”

Lily looks over at Remus, raising an eyebrow. Remus sighs inwardly, resigning herself to a dull evening of playing third wheel. She knows Lily will go back to their table without protest if Remus asks her to, but she can also see that Lily is more interested in James than her conversation about him had let on.

“Sure,” Remus says, sliding into one side of the booth. She sits on the end, so Lily and James are forced to sit next to each other. Lily grins at her from across the table, and James looks to be a strange combination of thrilled and alarmed.

Remus is just trying to think of a way to excuse herself to give the two of them some time to talk, when someone else approaches the booth.

“I leave for two minutes and you’ve already replaced me,” the person says, heaving a dramatic sigh. Remus just barely manages not to jerk up her head, but she’s staring so intently at her beer that it’s possible she looks like some sort of deranged beer label design student.

Oh no, Remus thinks. I recognize that voice. James is babbling out some kind of protest and Remus’ stomach clenches up. Have we interrupted some kind of date?

Fortunately, Lily quickly takes charge.

“You’re too late. He’s mine now,” she says with a grin. James looks like he’s struggling not to combust on the spot, and Remus stifles a laugh. She’s grateful Lily’s given her a moment to get her equilibrium back. The stranger, padfoot, Remus’ brain helpfully supplies, slides into the booth next to Remus. She turns, friendly expression carefully propped up on her face, and smiles.

“Hello. I’m Remus. The extremely rude one across the way is Lily.”

“Cheers,” Lily says, sipping her drink.

“Sirius,” padfoot says with a grin, holding out a hand. Remus shakes it, trying not to look terribly star-struck.

I can be chill about this, she tells herself firmly. A tiny voice in the back of her mind is screaming that’s a GIANT lie, Lupin. Sirius is even cuter in person and they’re right there, nearly touching her and they smell really nice and it’s horribly distracting. She can’t even escape to the bar to get her head together because Sirius has just brought new drinks and Remus is now trapped against the wall.

“So,” she says a bit desperately, “how do you two know each other?”

Lily, who has apparently decided she’s fulfilled her helpfulness quotient for the year, just smirks at Remus over her drink and lets her flounder.

*

“How don’t we know each other?” Sirius waggles their eyebrows and grins. They then want to punch their own face.

James laughs nervously and glances at Lily. She is pretty, but he’s pathetic. Unlike Sirius, who’s the epitome of coolness right about now.

Remus looks a little pink. It’s adorable. “Oh, were you on a–”

“I beg you not to finish that sentence,” James cuts in. “Sirius is just being a dick. We know each other from school, way back.”

“Clearly this school thing is the way to meet people,” Remus says. Sirius laughs, possibly more than the joke warrants.

But Remus is wearing another t-shirt with whales, and is so beautiful, and Sirius feels like bursting into song. They’re lucky Remus and Lily didn’t turn up after a couple more beers.

“I like your shirt,” they say and nod towards Remus’ chest.

Remus looks down on her beer and giggles. “Whale whale whale,” she says, then looks up. “Get it?”

Lily groans on the other side of the table, but Sirius laughs again. They can’t seem to help it. This person is their kryptonite. “That’s funny. Do you have more of these?”

Remus tells them about the overWHALEmed t-shirt and Sirius pretends not to already know about it. James casts a smug glance at Sirius every now and then, but he looks too nervous himself to be gloating.

“What do you do for fun?” Remus asks, turned to Sirius, her leg almost touching their skin through the fishnets.

“I like singing,” Sirius says. “But it’s not too serious.”

“Ha–” Remus starts, and Sirius groans and buries their head in their arms. “Sorry,” Remus adds quickly. “I’m sure you get that a lot.”

“You have no idea.” Sirius lifts their head again and smiles. “Anyway. What do you like?”

Remus hesitates. “I write,” she says. “But nothing too– er, consequential.”

“Nice save.” Sirius braves nudging her arm with their elbow, and Remus looks at them and smiles.

Sirius doesn’t want to look away. Remus smiles like she’s holding back a much bigger smile, giving the impression that there’s just too much sunshine in her to contain. Sirius spills over.

“I followed you on Tumblr earlier today,” they blurt out. “I liked your selfies.”

Remus goes red. That was the last reaction Sirius had anticipated, but it’s not terrible. “I know,” she admits. “I don’t understand why, though.”

Because you’re beautiful. “They were very aesthetically pleasing pictures,” Sirius improvises. “I was so uninspired and then I saw them and it was good content, what can I say.”

Remus is shaking her head. “Not as good as your singing.”

“You checked out my blog?” At this point, the point where their arms are touching feels like burning, but it’d be weird to move now. Also, Sirius doesn’t want to.

“I don’t have more than ten followers, of course I get curious,” Remus says defensively. She’s not moving her arm, either.

“Really?!” Tumblr really is a hellsite. Remus, no more than ten followers? Atrocious.

“Yes?” Remus looks puzzled.

“You don’t want more?” Sirius is grappling with this concept.

“Not really.” Remus shrugs. “Anyway, I listened to a bunch of your songs, and I really liked them. You should be the one with more followers.”

“Thank you.” Sirius doesn’t know what else to say.

Lily clears her throat. “Excuse me for interrupting what I’m sure would have been an incredibly drawn out flirting process, but I’d like my best friend back, so if you could just exchange numbers now that’d be great.”

Sirius makes a surprised exhale, and Remus moves her arm back at lightning speed. “I will murder you,” she says calmly.

Lily just smiles at her. “Sure, but let’s get drinks first.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus mutters. “May I get out?”

Sirius gets up and gives way, watching with amusement at how James tries not to die when Lily passes him in closer proximity than he could possibly have hoped to have her. They say goodbye, and Lily and Remus start walking away before Sirius finds their bearings.

“Wait!” They take a few long steps to catch up. “Actually, Remus, I’d like that number, if you want to give it to me.”

Remus raises her eyebrows and her mouth opens slightly. How she’s making “flummoxed” look hot, Sirius has no idea.

“Sure, yeah.”

Lily looks extremely smug as they exchange numbers. Sirius is not looking forward to the look on James’ face when they get back to him.

Remus gives them one last barely-contained smile before her and Lily leave, for real this time.

Sirius looks at their phone and starts laughing. Remus saved her number as ‘whale endowed’.

Yes, Sirius has definitely been struck by inspiration.

[shikuchi-blog1]

oh boy i havent done one of these in a WHILE !  time to ramble & hope for the best.

blah blah hey its ya boi andy here with a whole bias list !!! DANG !! okay so like ??? im surprised that i hit 100 already honestly !! i admit, i'm used to hitting that Hundred(tm) mark pretty quick as i'm usually in bigger communities but in one that's as small as go.rillaz & with a character thats so common ?? i'm shook ! noodl.e has been one of my most productive & strongest muses yet. i'm surprised that ive been so on top of things lately when i've been busy with school & my usual muses die down within two to three weeks. but we're just about to hit that 1 month mark and she's still kicking which is absolutely fantastic. i've had a blast with the friends i joined this community with & with the people i've spoken to along the way. now that we're talking about them , let's start the part everybody actually cares about !!

M'HOMBOS  .  SHORT  /  people ive been talking to often OOC & who i consider friends ! check the bottom for the sappy shit because i RAMBLED abt these 4.

@bassled   /   @fractzure   /   @igninecari   /   @twodented

HEART EYES  .   /   ppl i've spoken to / thread with but i want to get to know better ! ( aka hmu whenever u want bleas ,,,, )

im also throwing m'boos in here that i didnt talk abt bc we dont interact as much on this blog or some other reasons

@nuorii  /  @reallyblah  /  @blackfiire  /  @russeld  /  @kaboooms  /  @wondcrkid  /  @appxssionato  /  @airfcil  /  @riffrcffed  /  @solhearts  /  @iimpious

EYES EMOJI x 100  .   /   people who i've hardly spoken to if at all but would like to eventually interact with more !

@leggystu  /  @bubberu  /  @littlebadger  /  @crackerpaula  /  @starwished  /  @endangcred  /   @cinderella-esque  /  @wargod  /  @teenghcst  /  @halfpact  /  @tankbitch  /  @dirvnitas  /  @gangguro  /  @kitanosuzume  /  @toriiel  /  @scaramouchc  /  @candieds

M'HOMBOS  .  LONG   /   under the cut because i wanna RAMBLE.

@bassled  .

I LOVE REN SM. she's literally my best friend i've known her for about 6-7 years & she's absolutely fantastic ok this entire fuckin bias list could be just her but im gonna try not to write an essay on how much i love her. she's been there for me for so long & the fact that she isnt tired of my petty ass yet deserves a damn award. i admire her a lot. this dude goes through so much shit irl and i'm amazed that she's still doing as well as she is, even if she doesnt realize it. if i was in her position i wouldn't even be writing let alone doing everything that she does. & boy her m.urdoc ?? is so good ?? i love him sm and its not me being biased BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY her muds is so fuckin good. ren isnt the most active, sure, but whenever she is i always stop to read her posts because i just !!!! love her sm !!!! she makes murd.oc realistic & makes him more human. she doesnt just focus on him being abusive or an asshole or gross but she definitely doesn't dismiss it either. she's so good at analyzing every little movement he does and turning it into something more and i just !!!! if i keep going this gonna go on for years just know that i love ren a lot :^}

@fractzure  . 

squidy's ugly ok moving on

JK FJKH no but actually !! ive known squidy for a hot minute too. we've been friends for a good few years now ( met on a .... fucgkign minec.raft server................. ) and i love them sm !!! every call that we have inevitably turns into a shitfest where we're wheezing our asses off. i may get on their ass every second & try to roast them for every little thing but its mostly because i just love their reactions and i love talking to them in general ??? and im petty but we're not talking abt that rn LMAO. but yea squidys such a fun person to hang out with & i appreciate talking to them lots !! and even though theyre not the most active either, i love what they have of their 2.D so far and i cant wait to see more of him once summer starts because i really like squidy's writing and im suuuper excited for that. also theyre making a russ.el probably and im.... so gay...... our thread rn is cute af and we gotta talk more abt them Um Squidy Hmu Bit.

on a final note; Ooga My Booga Is A Social Construct.

@igninecari  . 

i love !!! bones !!!! i havent known them for long, only a few months maybe, but talking to them every day has been a blast and our convos are usually filled with Chaotic Plotting and us talking over each other and its just. Gr8. we originally met on our a.va's dem.on blogs and i remember loving her m.aggie so fuckin much dude everything she said abt her was so !!! dang !!! good !!!! and even now with her emb.er & her ecla.ir i can see how much care & thought she puts into all of her muses. dude even thinks into their family and develops those characters which makes everything SO MUCH MORE REALISTIC. her writing is a joy to read also ?? its so pretty i love how she describes everything and i love all of the little references she sticks into her descriptions that fit her characters perfectly. im glad i dragged them into g.orillaz hell w/ me because we've got such a good thing going on w/ em & noods it makes me so happy !! also callout for bones WE GOTTA THREAD SMTH ASAP OR IM SPAMMING ASKS

@twodented  .

KIT IS AN ANGEL. i've only actually spoken her for maybe ??? two ?? three weeks ??? but we hit it off super quick and shes such a nice & supportive person ! i believe we first followed each other on our a.vas d.emon blogs but, seeing as we were both the same character, we never really approached each other 'til joining g.orillaz. i am so glad we actually started talking bc BOI !!!! I LOVE HER !!! she's so fun to talk to & to plot with. we'll just throw lil concepts at each other every once in a while and its Gr8. and !! her 2.d is so fuckin spot on let me tell u she's one of the ppl that, when i see her on the dash, i stop and read her writing even if it isnt for me because im so gay for her writing style. its so descriptive and eloquent and i love the way she formats ! i feel like she does his dialogue perfectly every time because its never been hard to understand for me but it still reads in his voice in my head which is (ok emoji x20). her hcs are a joy to read & i just !!! dont get me started on what we've talked about for 2.d and noodle im SO FUCKIN HEART-EYES FOR REALLY CLOSE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS AND THEY GOT ME SO EXCITED TO REPLY TO EVERYTHING ?????? PLATONIC 2N.U IS MY SHIT.  tl;dr i love kit & i love kits 2.d sm,,,,,

[nbafunnymeme]

The NBA Is Softer Than Baby Thighs

LeBron James whined and whined about Draymond Green calling him the B-Word and retaliating against him, leading to a Game 5 suspension. Whats become of the L? “>

This past week, lost amid the miasma of Crying Jordan memes, Lil B hexes, and our collective clowning of Steph Currys Air Nurse 1swhich, lets be honest, had it comingcame the following oh-so-crucial development: LeBron James, a 6-foot-8, 250-pound athletic specimen the likes of which the world has never seen, was branded a bitch by two parties.

One was Golden State Warriors crotch enforcer Draymond Green.

The other was Smash Mouth.

Yes, that Smash Mouth: The group behind the theme song from Shrek (which they are apparently very defensive about). The band whose lead singer, with his wraparound shades and regrettable facial hair, resembles a cross between Guy Fieri and Chaz Bono. So what on Gods green earth emboldened a 90s footnote to question the masculinity of His Highness King James?

It began with a single step. Late in the Cleveland Cavaliers 108-97 loss to the Warriors in Game 4 of the NBA Finals, James got tangled up with Green, who fell to the floor. So James attempted the infamous step-over: whereby one player steps over another to shame them. Its not exactly J.R. Smith tweeting a photo of your ex-girlfriends booty, but a power move nonethelessand one that Jamess coach, Tyronn Lue, is all too familiar with, having been on the receiving end of the most notorious step-over in history: post-crossover, in front of his teams bench, during the 2001 NBA Finals, courtesy of Allen Iverson. It was, with the exception of Vince Carters dunk over Frederic Weisyou know, the beanpole Frenchman the Knicks drafted over local boy Ron Artestthe most embarrassing basketball moment of the early aughts. James tried that on Green, and it didnt go so well. His groin connected with Greens neck, so the Warrior delivered a shot to Jamess junk, prompting the two to get in each others faces.

After the game, TNT analyst Charles Barkley commended a chortling Green for retaliating, saying, At least I know he couldve played in our days, because let me tell you something: if a guy step over you, you got to get him. That is the most disrespectful thing that you could do to a player that you knocked down, is step over him. That tells me right there that he could have played back when we actually had real basketball toughness.

James reacted a bit differently: by unleashing a seven-minute locker room tirade and whining to ESPNs Chris Broussard about Green calling him a bitch.

He said Draymond Green called him the B-word and thats what got him going, said Broussard. And also, as many people have seen on the replays, Draymond tried to hit him in the private parts. And so those two things really upset LeBron James. He told me he cant remember being that upset on an NBA court. He said hes sure its probably happened before, but he cant remember the last time he was that upset. And mainly it was because of the name Draymond called him.

King James made such a fuss that he got Green suspended for Game 5, which the Cavaliers won handily. This is the new NBA, folks: LeBron James, the face of the league, complaining about being called a name to a reporter. Can you imagine Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant doing the same?

Earlier this year, Kobe himself lamented how the NBAs gone soft. Its more of a finesse game, Bryant said. Its more small ball, which, personally, I dont really care much for. I like kind of smash-mouth, old-school basketball because thats what I grew up watching. I also think its much, much less physical. Some of the flagrant fouls that I see called nowadays, it makes me nauseous. You cant touch a guy without it being a flagrant foul.

Kobes statement was echoed by his former teammate Shaquille ONeal, who said, Mike playing against Detroit and the Bad Boysthat was the real NBA, calling the current iteration of the league very soft, as well as Gary Payton, who tweeted, I could never play basketball in this soft era. All of my contract money would go toward fines.

These days, almost every time a player intentionally fouls someone hard, theyre hit with a flagrant foul and face a possible suspension, as well as a fine of up to $25,000. The play stoppages, between TV timeouts for ads and foul calls, are constant. Its gotten so preposterous that ESPN even has an in-house referee analyst, Steve Javie, who litigates fouls mid-game.

It didnt used to be this way. Players used to leave it all out on the floor, and games were more intense, more competitive. The stakes were higher. Were deprived of great moments, like in Game 2 of the 1985 Eastern Conference Semifinals when Pistons Bad Boy Bill Laimbeer threw a wild elbow that connected with Larry Birds chinonly to have Larry Legend come back and drop 31 points on him in the second half, his jersey stained with blood. Or that time Charles Oakley and Charles Barkley got into a brawl after a hard foul during a 1996 preseason game. Or the all-out war between Dennis Rodman and Alonzo Mourning in Game 4 of the 1997 Eastern Conference Finals.

In response to the oft-contentious 80s Pistons, aka the Bad Boys, the NBA instituted a number of rules changes that softened things up. In the 1988-89 season, they upped the number of referees from two to three, and in the 1990-91 season, penalties for flagrant fouls increased to two free throws and possession of the ball. Furthermore, if theres no apparent effort to play the ball, the player may be ejected which came with an automatic $250 fine.

Further rules changes were inspired by the 90s Knicks. With the start of the 1993 playoffs came a new rule: any player who throws a punch in a game will automatically be ejected, receive a one-game suspension, and be fined. Also, any player who leaves the bench area during a fight would be fined $2,500, and the team would be docked $5,000 for each of its players who leaves the bench area. In the 1994-95 season, the penalty for leaving the bench area during a fight was increased to an automatic one-game suspension and max $20,000 fine; hand-checking became illegal; and two flagrant fouls led to ejection.

  The 2004 Malice in the Palacean ugly brawl where members of the Indiana Pacers, led by Ron Artest, went into the stands at Detroits Palace of Auburn Hills to fight unruly fansbrought even more changes. In 2005, teams began hiring former FBI agents to head their security, while fans booze was limited to 24 ounces and banned from being sold in the 4th quarter. If that werent enough, the league installed a mandatory dress code where players were forced to dress business casual before and after games. Nowadays, players treat the stroll from their vehicle to the locker room like a fashion runway.

Basketball boasts the most physically gifted athletes of any professional sport; sculpted bodies dancing through the air, crashing into one another. If the NBA hopes to remain must-see TV, however, it needs to rediscover the toughness and gamesmanship that made it so compelling in the first place. And the leagues best all-around player, LeBron James, must lead by example.

Read more: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/06/16/the-nba-is-softer-than-baby-thighs.html

http://nbameme.com/the-nba-is-softer-than-baby-thighs/

[she-rules-her-own-world]

Stuff I want to tell you

Idk when I will post this. So I'm gonna start labeling days. Idk if you will read this. But it's gonna be stuff that I was excited to learn. 

5/31/19 (day 1)

I bought two cords today. An vga to HDMI and a VGA to display port. And the display port one works! I can plug my surface into the old af monitor!!! It worked, it was awesome!!! I was so excited to tell you that I have a cord for our surfaces to connect to old electronic stuff. :). However the VGA to HDMI cord didn't work for the switch. I'm not sure why but it wasn't. And it didn't work for my mom's computer. So that sucks :/ but whatever I will return the HDMI cord. Lol I also learned that you can't plug a VGA to HDMI converter into a computer that has a VGA port... Lmao. It shuts the computer down. It didn't shut down just mine. It shut down my dad's too.

I don't work till the evening tomorrow. But I get to go in in the morning and take photos. :). I'm excited. Lol. I get more hours at work.

I bought wine today. Arbor mist sangria and Merlot. The blackberry Merlot was really good.

My dad made me a Paracord strap for my camera. So I don't have to wrap the one around my wrist. It looks like a bracelet but it connects to the camera!! It took a lot of fanagaling to get it to work lol. But dad and I are both problem solvers so it worked out in the end!! It almost didn't.

6/1/19 day 2

I woke up yesterday at 5 not being able to breath. Like a tight chest. And it sucked. I'm having it a little bit again today. I was told that it's probably anxiety and that doesn't surprise me. I'm stressed about moving out there. Taylor said I shouldn't worry about it. However she told me that if we break up that I shouldn't move out there. I don't really have that option.

I still think that you would rather be with her than me. So I'm not looking at a very bright outcome. Woo. :(

It was ridiculously slow at work today... they told me not to come in, but if i really wanted the hours they would have found something for me to do (aka dusting... something that i shouldnt do because i like breathing) so i didnt go into work. 

I started reading the man who only loved numbers. I really liked one quote from it because i thought it definitely was you.When asked how Graham had so much time for what he did he replied “There are a hundred and sixty eight hours in every week.” i like graham. I also really like Erdős lol

i dont know what to do with my time. idk who to talk to. I feel bad for messaging taylor with little stuff that i found funny ( “ When did the misfortune of birth overtake you?”) idk about being nerdy with you because you appreciate it. anybody else i feel like im bugging them... :/

I still cant post this... it would be breaching no contact... because technically it would be contact... I guess we should have clarified that... I want to post it. I want you to read it. but idk if either of those will happen before the 30th... maybe i will post it on my birthday... it will be my way of contacting you. I want to talk to you then... but idk if thats a good idea... I told taylor about me worrying about you getting back with her, and she was like i dont think that she will accept him back if he wanted to... but who knows.

I was gonna read time travelers wife and then decided that probably wouldn't be a good idea in my given situation.

I guess I should also say that I haven't been wearing the rings since Wednesday? Yeah. The first day of so called break.

Its been weird not wearing them... :/

If we come back together. I think we should start a new. But idk if that can really happen. Once I'm comfortable with somebody the only way I become uncomfortable around them is through a terrible break up. Which I'm still scared is going to happen. I'm scared you are going to go back to her. At the same time I'm scared I'm almost sure of it that you will. I'm mind washing myself so if you choose anything different i will be overjoyed. But if you choose that path i won't be devastated but understanding and probably still super sad. :(

6/2/19 (day 3)

Everytime I come on here. I hope you posted. I don't know what I want. Lol. I don't want to see you post but at the same time I do. I want to know what's going on in your mind.

Also every time i come on here I think fuck it. I will post it today. And thats been the past three days. I think I will post it on my birthday. But that is still 3 days away. I want to talk to you that day. But idk if I should... :/

We went to Midland today. I bought a beanie boo that I didn't know what it was gonna be. It was a little statuette. I was hoping for the panda. I got a monkey instead and he is adorable af. Lol.

6/3/19 day 4

I went to work today. It sucked. So many phone calls. I got to take a break and talk to Taylor for a little bit though. I love her so much.

She was telling me that her and Craig are going through a rough patch too. But they are gonna take it slower. But she doesn't know what that means and she is freaking out. Lol. But I think they are gonna be fine. I feel so bad for her. Mostly because idk how to help her.

She told me that you are doing better. But that was it. Lol she said you were vague. Which doesn't surprise me. Because you know she is gonna talk to me. It kinda worries me that you are doing better. It worries me because it makes me think that you want to go back to her. Which may not actually be the case. I told one of my coworkers part of this story and they were like she probably isn't going to want him back.. and then you would come to me and I would be second choice again. So if that were to happen. Don't tell me. I don't want to be with you if you would rather be with her. That isn't fair to me. I want you to be happy. And I know you would be happy with either of us. I keep pushing you to her. Idk what that means for me. I'm not sacrificing my own happiness for your. I'm sure I will find somebody else. But it won't be the same. Taylor jokingly said we should get together.(like Taylor and I) And I agreed lol. We are better together.

I regret how this turned out. I'm not regretting the whole thing. But the presense of me ruined a relationship. I regret that. You were happy. I regret the stepping Stones that led to this disaster. I like this disaster. But I don't think it should have happened the way it did. And that's what i regret.

6/4/19 day 5

I'm gonna post this today. Will you read it? Idk. I would hope so. But I know in posting this it will affect you in some way. I want you to know what's going on in my head during this break lol.

I made my birthday cake today. It's a summer sangria cake. I think it turned out fairly well lol.

I'm so tired and I hate it. Idk why. I'm always sleeping. I think it's because I'm bored. I colored the other day. I know you saw this. Lol. Because you liked the post. I wasn't sure that liking posts on instagram was no contact. Taylor agreed with me that it is contact. But we never really had any terms for no contact. Just for the break. Did she tell you that her and Craig are basically going through the same thing. It's crazy. But they are still talking. They are taking it slower. They don't think they love each other. (Taylor does but she isn't going to tell him). They think they rushed their relationship... Idk.

I dislike being at home. I miss the city. I miss being busy and being able to walk places... Soon enough I will be.

I don't remember if I told you but I haven't told my parents/sister in fear they are gonna talk me out of moving there... I think I told you that...

[omegacunt-blog]

my view of time with the love of my life.

im sad i hate my home im moving to christchurch i know it will hurt my girl but its best for me and we have been distant already as it is "babe we need to talk" yes we do im leaving you and moving to christchurch im sorry but its best for me right now "i cheated on you when do you want your things" i knew then that i wasnt going to love again fuck that i packed my shit only 1 bag and got the next flight to christchurch i met my father at the airport and went back to his place we got a pack of smokes and went for a walk into the cbd because i told him i like walking we walked for hours talking about how we have been and what we do for fun we get to a giant arch thing and he see's one of his friends so i sit down and start scrolling instagram i was posting angry shit about my ex cheating on me blah blah and i figured i need new friends so i start following people and i come across this one page of this chick with red hair "wow she is really hot no way id have a chance with her ill try it anyway" we ended up going home and i stalked her instagram all night because i couldnt sleep she was really cute holy hell 3 days past and i was talking to the girls i had things with and i started to feel un satisfyed i got nudes every day from like 6 people how could i not be satisfyed i finally get some balls and message her but what do i say i said the most amazingly horrible opener "do you like memes" oh god ive fucked it im really weird somehow it worked we are talking now i dont remember what we said exactly but all i remember is getting her number right away and telling her we are in an extremely open no ties relationship which somehow worked it was really weird we started talking about neither of us ever liking each other we talked about how much we liked drinking we talked about our music i loved talking to her i soon found myself spending all day and night talking to her and thinking about her and finding myself at burgerking using the wifi just so i could keep talking to her i drank alot and i eventually ended up cutting my girls off without knowing i cant say i missed them because it would be a lie she was all i thought about it soon came time to meet her and i remember drinking a whole bottle of jagermeister and smoking a bit to get some confidence wow she is beautiful in person i wanna get close to her i want to talk to her all night i tried showing off to impress her like a 9 year old kid with a crush im writing this now with that same crush we were walking back to her house and i was still showing off i ended up getting arrested so i fucked with the cops for a bit before i got put in cuffs and taken home i put my foot out the car door and they both spent 20 minutes trying to put it in the car i almost told them i was carrying a knife i talked about her the whole way home and as soon as i got home i walked an hour to her house where she made me sit on the lawn because she didnt trust me it was okay i was fine with just being there she came and sat next to me and she asked me if i liked being scratched and she started scratching my left arm it kinda hurt but i liked it because she was doing it **it also why i burn the skin off my left arm** her friend started running around with a shopping cart and she kissed me on the cheek it was the first time ive been kissed on the cheek and it felt amazing i dont know why i just stared at her and said "oh" i was speechless and then we went inside and sat for a couple hours before i left and she told me to hug her so i did and i left feeling extremely happy i walked an hour in the wrong direction and then eventually got home i fell asleep right away thinking about her we continued to hang out for another 2 weeks and then she came around to my place and we drank and smoked cigarettes with her friend zion and we ended up cuddling for a couple hours before she left i hated it when she left 3 days later i watched her be with another guy it ripped me apart everytime i seen them kiss i hated the fact that she even sat close to him i was extremely jealous i think its easy to say jealousy is my biggest weakness it eats me alive its caused many of my scars and its the reason behind my anxiety and trust issues that day was the day we started going down hill i told her i loved her and i had feelings for her and she returned them i asked her out and she turned me down it really hurt and it took her 2 days for an explanation "i want to be with you and i will soon i promise just wait" and thats what i did i waited and watched her be with another it really hurt me that she could say all these things to me and then turn around and do things with another guy it should be me if she doesnt like him why is she doing this with him and not me i want it i deserve it she ends up getting high and she turned into a different person she told me to come see her so i walked an hour and a half and all i got when i got there was "dude just leave me alone im to high for this i dont want to see you" i told her i was done i cant love her if she doesnt love me oh but she says she does but where is the actual love? i dont feel it all i feel is disgust **thats why i dont like her smoking weed** i walked an hour and a half home after not seeing her and being told to leave her alone i was angry so i shut myself off for 2 days and when i finally texted her back i went over to her house i didnt know that would be the last time id see her she was upset and she sat on her chair in silence so i sat on the floor and we were silent for a while before she came and hugged me i hate myself for not hugging her back she was hurt and i knew it but all i could think about was how angry what she said made me i was closed off we said nothing the whole time untill i got uo and said goodbye and jumped out her window i didnt even look at her as i left i hated it after that day everything is black all i did was drink my pain away eventually she decided it was time to cut me off "its best for you" she said i felt hurt i felt betrayed i was angry not at her but at myself if i had of done things differently it wouldve been better we wouldve worked i tried for weeks to get her back but failed every time i ended up having drinks with her friend i met at sparks in the park which was another time that i hated but loved i was with her i loved it but she kissed a guy infront of me i hated that **i didnt know he was gay at the time** and she ignored me most of the night unless she wanted me to stand behind her so she felt hidden and then she ditched me anyway back to the drinks i remember aysia telling me to invite pagan and i didnt have the courage to tell aysia i ruined everything with her so i just said "nah she is probably busy she wont wanna come here" from then onwards for the next 3 months was also black it was a spiral of alcohol and bad decisions my life was fucked up and all i wanted was for her to text me saying she still loved me i moved into a new house in pegasus and i noticed she unblocked me i messaged her and she said "leave me alone i dont want to talk to you im tryna hold it down for a nigga" and then she blocked me that really fucking hurt i started burning myself for the first time and drank every day there was alot of parties i had alot of alcohol drank but not once was i able to move on or forget about her i got home from driving one night and i had a text from her i nearly died from excitement she is finally back my life is finally happy again "well heres hoping we never meet huh? -your not so friendly demon (aka the guy who doesnt think with his dick and is with pagan and wants to make you choke on your teeth" that was the most painful text i ever got in my life not only did i get proof she had moved on but he wanted to hurt me for some reason did she say i hurt her? did she talk shit about me? i hated it i blocked her number and punched a hole in my wall the drinking continued the pain got worse untill months later she messaged me on instagram apologising for everything i was hesitant to let her back into my life i had to think about it she broke me many times already am i willing to go through everything again i never stopped loving her we talked about how our lives were things were good it took 1 hour for me to get hurt again when i found out she was still with **my not so friendly demon** i hated that and i hated seeing photos of them together and him talking shit to me and seeing them love each other and hearing her talking about doing things to him i was jealous notice a patern? something happened and she left him and i asked her out she was finally going to be mine she said yes im so happy everything is amazing this is why i love her i love her for the good times and i still love her through the bad i remember sharing a tiny bed i hated it i was embarrassed but she put up with it for me i remember first having sex with her ill never forget how uncomfortable it made her she hated sex but she tried it with me the first 2 times we had sex i didnt cum but i made sure she did i didnt care if i got no pleasure as long as she did i was happy i loved cuddling with her drinking with her smoking with her i loved listening to music with her talking to her everything she loved my niece and that meant alot to me ive never been happier in my life and she gave that to me i cant thank her enough i remember how it felt to cuddle her how it felt when we had sex it was amazing she was the best fuck ive ever had and i couldnt get enough i wouldnt to fuck her all the time i wanted to cuddle constantly i wanted to see her laugh every day i wanted to listen to her talk for hours i never wanted anything to end but it had to a piece of me died everytime she left my house i remember our first argument it was about me talking about the past i miss everything the kisses hugs sex the cuddling the waking up in the morning and seeing her face and hearing her say i love you as the first thing we went for a walk one day to the beach after having sex and we just walked and held hands for hours untill we went home that was my happiest day on earth and id rather keep the things about that day to myself for a future story im not going to go into detail about our final days but we eventually ended it i cried for hours i hated myself how could i do that to her why did i do that to her she came around one last time and i wanted to break down and cry and beg for her back but i had to pretend to be strong we shared a cigarette she cried we hugged kissed and she left the final goodbye will replay in my head forever i cried and yelled for 2 days straight and i found out that she had already moved on it felt like she had ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it spat on it and burnt it im sure she fucking hated me she fucked another guy so soon i fucking hated it i burnt every inch of my arm i even tried cutting myself but burns hurt more she likes this guy and its just lhbarflerbkjbSFEkSJ fuck this fuck everything i cant fucking finish this anyway this is the fucking story about me and the love of my life the one and only girl of my dreams the girl who i still to this second love with all i have left of my heart through thick and thin good and bad i still love you forever and always will -shane xx

[egg-scellent]

oooo BOOK MEME TAG!

 oh wow look @ this nerd actually posting stuff on her blog oh wow

but the absolutely wonderful person (aka @the-bookler​) tagged me so it feels rude not to do this

Rules: always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, write 11 questions of your own, tag 11 people (i’m a lonely dork w no friends, so if you see this and happen to like it, i tag you to do it too!! cheers)

1. What film or TV show do you wish there was a book for?

This is gonna be extremely dweeby but I’m gonna throw in a manga (it has an anime adaption so it still counts right??right). Sugar Sugar Rune by Moyoco Anno. Honestly?? SUCH a good story. So much potential unexplored, because (ofc) it had to be a love story. But to be fair, it is a shoujo manga, for young teenage girls. But damnit, I have such a soft spot for witchy stuff.

2. What was your favorite book as a child?

I loved many many picture books and fables, your typical kid stuff, but I also distinctly remember my mom reading me a chapter of The Little Prince every night before bed. I love that book so much.

3. What’s the coolest book you own?

I don’t know, all of my books are really cool to me, because, well, books. I have some from the thrift shop (i love old books!! I have a few Harry Potters from god knows where, some even have wax stains on them!! coolio), I have some special editions (Looking for Alaska, John Green and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Addams), I have some oldass books (Old Man and the Sea, Ernest Hemingway, from 1950s I think). Also I have a bunch of random cool encyclopaedias, aaaAA BOOKS ARE JUST REALLY COOL MAN

4. If you could bring 1 character from any book to life to be your friend/partner/whatever, who would it be and why?

Oh don’t do this to me. Oh man. Well my current obsession IS Les Mis, and so I’d love to have the whole ABC gang in my life- god, they’re all such wonderful dorks- but I’d also like Minerva McGonagall to be my grandma pls.

5. What bookish world would you like to live in?

Gosh, so many to choose from! Except, I’d probably end up dying in majority of them. But it has been my dream to live in a magical world, so I’m gonna be completely basic and ridiculous and say Harry Potter. Never gonna grow out of that one.

6. Worst book you’ve ever read?

My mom loves buying Danielle Steel and Nora Roberts’ books, and I remember this one book, called something like Clone and Me, and god it was so ridiculous, I keep wondering if it was satirical or something. Anyway- it goes like, happy married couple blah blah, husband has to go on a two week business trip, wife cries ‘Oh but I couldn’t possibly make it two weeks without you!’ but he assures her, no, it’ll be fine. Next morning, he’s gone, she’s sad, but, oh! Doorbell rings. She opens and, voila- her husband is on the doorstep. Except, not. It’s his clone. And he’s nothing like the original, save for looks. Aaand that’s where I stopped reading. Yep. Golden literature right there.

7. How do you treat your books- do you highlight, dog-ear, annotate, keep pristine, etc?

I have such weird relationship with my books, I cherish them so much and I’m very careful not to even open them all the way when reading so they don’t break, but I also??? kinda??? wanna doodle and underline precious moments but I DONT WANNA DISRESPECT THEM YOU FEEL ME??

8. If you were to write a book, what genre would it be?

Probably fantasy, or sci-fi. I’m an airhead, and while I absolutely love all kinds of literature, I don’t think I’d be able to write something completely realistic.

9. Least favorite character ever?

You see I really don’t know what to do with this question. Sure I disliked loads of characters, but I have this annoying thing where I can kinda see that they’re wrong and probably damaged and I can kinda symphatize with them because they’re either evil or annoying or just plain creepy but I understand the need for validation or comfort or happiness and I just can’t hate hate them. Bleh.

10. What book do you think everybody should read?

I don’t think I’m in a position to judge that, because while I did read a lot as a kid, I kinda didn’t read many classics I think I was supposed to. But here’s a few: 

* Les Miserables (sorry, i’m probably v annoying with it), because it’s literally a whole world inside this giant fucking brick of a book, and you feel it (also it’s a damn history textbook so there’s that)

* The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (fucking. hilarious. Guys I’m in permanent state of melancholy and this book had me rolling. Honestly. Dang.)

* Something by Roald Dahl (I just. I enjoy his books so much, especially with Quentin Blake’s illustrations!! Gosh I just.. aa I want to have them all but they’re all sold out in my country and I don’t have paypal. :’c)

* Any huge book on various mythologies (I’m a mythology nerd. Give me all the mythologies. Love them)

* I could also suggest loads of AMAZING Serbian and Yugoslavian authors. but likely nobody cares so I’m just gonna.. casually.. go away

11. If you could have your memories of one book wiped to read it again fresh, which would it be?

There’s no ‘one’ book. Wipe my memories after every damn book I dont care. Let me experience magic all over again. I just *tears up* I love books so much my dude. Books.