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alm0ndla1t · 2 years ago

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༘⋆ - WHAT ZODIAC SIGNS ARE THE WEDNESDAY CHARACTERS?

༘⋆ - TW: none, other than a long astrological essay on wednesday characters…

༘⋆ - WEDNESDAY: no one in this world could be a better representation of the scorpio sun other than wednesday addams. i am on cloud nine to have it be canon, as her birthday is set to be november 13th in the series. although, i must add that i suspect her being a scorpio rising too, as her love for all things black and gore and her overall appearance is definitely a dead giveaway. the sun and rising conjunction indicates that her public image is a reflection of who she really is - she might have her guards up, but she’s not masking her truest self. in other words, wednesday accurately presents herself to the world. wednesday, as most scorpios, is quick witted yet cold in most situations. she is not easily swept off her feet, but as any other water sign, she’ll be absolutely devoted to you once you earn her trust.

༘⋆ - ENID: our lovely werewolf girl is definitely giving me cancer sun vibes - she might second guess her decisions or be overally clumsy, but you can’t deny that she is the mom friend. enid is a ray of sunshine - she is quite talkative and sociable, and once you two click - she’ll be your bestest bud. she’ll paint your nails, make you snoods to match and banter about the latest nevermore drama. not only that, we have to remember that cancer is ruled by moon - which is something that makes quite a lot of sense and is generally significant to her, considering her outcast species.

༘⋆ - XAVIER: the one and only resident tortured artist is definitely a sagittarius man in my eyes. he seems like quite the jokester and the type of person whose flirting style is roasting & sarcasm. he’s all over the place and quite nosy, giving advices left & right and wanting to be a part of every major event, whether that be you hunting down the hyde by its footprints or visiting the gates’ house. that, however, also indicates the presence of his caring nature, and in some cases, possessiveness. that brings me to the point where i state that he gives me scorpio venus vibes. i mostly see a confirmation of that in his thing for ‘tragic goth girls with funeral parlor fashion sense’. his sag sun also indicates his creativity and love for all things art, since sagittarius, just like the artsy sign pisces, is ruled by jupiter. xavier is very blunt and will not hesitate to call you out on your bs, especially if it involves his ego being hurt (very fire sign man of him). under the facade of the whole ‘life of the party’ persona, there is a darker side to him, which his friend ajax briefly mentions.

༘⋆ - AJAX: when it comes to our stoner boy ajax, there is no doubt that this gorgon guy is a taurus. he is down to earth, laid back and is a person of warm nature. he is basically the epitome of ‘no thoughts, just vibes’. with taurus being ruled by venus, ajax shows up as loving and caring person when it comes to both lovers, friends and family. the stoner boy is a dependable and trustworthy friend, and we certainly see it in course of his conversation with enid, where he reveals xavier’s ‘darker side’ yet still highlights his devotion to the friend. but sadly, as a good old taurus sun, he doesn’t really take hints.

༘⋆ - BIANCA: bianca is unarguably one of the best examples of a female leo sun. this girl is always driven by the exciting feeling of competition and the desire to win, but also has a darker side to her which haunts her on a daily basis. apart from most fire signs, or even leo’s neighboring sign virgo, leos tend to have a lot of insecurities that they compensate for by being arrogant & unapologetically extra. this clearly explains bianca’s behavior, and therefore in my story, she is definitely not the villain. we see that her personality traits were also influenced by her mother’s toxicity, which makes me believe her moon could definitely be in scorpio. her siren powers are both a blessing and a curse - with the help of those, she was able to siren her way into the academy, leaving the toxic environment of ‘morning song’, but when it comes to her platonic or romantic relationships, her powers are often frowned upon.

༘⋆ - TYLER: weirdly enough, when speaking of tyler, i must say that he could be a capricorn sun. moreover, i will have the nerve to say that his sun is definitely in opposition to his moon, thus being in cancer, because it would make perfect sense to me. these two placements indicate his emotional ups and downs and the struggles of his wants and needs. coming from my personal observations, tyler’s mental health state, as well as the neediness and (at some point) fear of abandonment when it comes to romantic relationships, could be easily explained by his sun and moon sign. the teenage boy is always overwhelmed by his thoughts and feelings and is unable to comprehend them. therefore, he is prone to manipulation, and in this case, ms. thornhill’s influence. it is also important to note that such aspect shows a complex relationship with a mother figure, as well as the absence of the father to some extent. that is why i do believe he has this particular astro combination, which gives him a mixture of personalities.

༘⋆ - EUGENE: to end off and complete the holy water sign trinity, it must be said that eugene would probably be a pisces. that kid is absolutely wholesome and has to be protected by all costs, but he completely denies it as he puts his life in danger, striving to accomplish a heroic mission of investigating the hyde’s lair. with his exaggerated sense of a fairy tale romance and never-ending attempts of finding his one true love who would appreciate him for who he is, i suppose his sun sign is conjunct his venus. his genuine friendship with the scorpio sun wednesday could easily explain my choice for his sun sign, as, speaking from experience once again, i am the number one stan of scorpio x pisces friendships.

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midnightmoonytales · 2 years ago

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hello!! i hope you’re doing well ☺️ i was wondering if i could request a fic with xavier where the reader is pyrokinetic and maybe the reader accidentally hurts him and freaks and avoids him because they’re scared it’ll happen again. maybe they’re together or not and it leads to a confession? anyway thank you if you get it it, if not don’t worry ❤️

SPARK XAVIOR. T.

First, I want to say thank you, darling, for the request and I hope you're doing spectacular. When it came in, it brought me so much joy! Also- ya girlie here is a Pyromaniac faemself, so this really touches my soul. I hope you enjoy!

Genre: angst to fluff

Warnings: burn to someone else, insecurity, fire. Mentions of smoking, hateful parents.

Y/C/N/N : Your childhood nickname

Ft: Enid Sinclair, Wednesday Addams, Ajax Petropolis

WC: 3k words

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Compared to your peers, you were considered a late bloomer. Your parents started taking you to multiple doctors ranging from other everyday power specialists to hypnotherapists. None seemed to work though. Some even said they never believed you were going to ever obtain your powers. Devastated, your family was in an uproar. How could their precious be so disgustingly normal?

It was until you were ten that your powers started showing. In the most inconvenient place of all, third-period math class. It was quite unfortunate the way everything turned out. You were waiting for your classmate to pass you the spreadsheet that was handed out by your teacher. When you notice your hands growing hot, tingly hot. Thinking nothing of it, you grabbed the form that was being handed to you. When suddenly, the paper was set aflame. Shocked, both you and your classmate backed away from the now burning paper. Panic had set through the classroom when your teacher came and stomped the fire out. Only ashes of burnt paper remain. To say your life at that school went south…well…it would be an understatement. Teachers and parents were complaining that you were a danger to those around you. You were labeled the freak/monster of the school after that. It didn’t take long for the administration to expel you after that.

Your parents were beyond thrilled to learn that your powers were showing, but were quickly disgruntled when they learned you had no control over it. With now being expelled, there was only one school your parents believed you would fit in. Nevermore Academy. At first, it took you a while to adjust to everything. The people you believed in as your friends, turned on you. Were considered a monster, a freak. Gaining the powers you once desired now feels like a burden. Principal Weems had put you into your own dorm for the time being. She even gave you a pair of fire-resistant gloves so you partake in school activities without setting something on fire. Your emotions played a key part in the intensity of your powers. New furniture being moved into your room and the old ones that were charred from your last breakdown, moved out.

You spent months alone until you met Enid Sinclair. A walking bubble of sunshine. At first, you believed that there was nothing you could bond over. Until she opened up about how she was unable to “wolf out.” She was one of two people who were able to get you out of your fiery breakdown. The other one is, Xavier Thorpe. You both met in Botany class, he was doodling away in his sketchbook when he caught you staring. Turning away as soon as you realized he caught you staring. Paying attention back to Ms. Thornhill when a small baby snake slithered onto your side of the desk. Smiling slightly, you lifted it onto your glove-covered hand. Soon after, it turned back to dust.

You continued to take notes when a small piece of paper was placed on to your notebook. Reading, “the name Xavier, what's yours?” Placing the note flat onto your notebook you began to respond. Ever since Thornhill's botany class, it was normal to see Enid, Xavier, you, and his best friend Ajax sitting in the Quad. You were all always seen together before Xavier and Bianca got together. It soon became you and Enid with the occasional Ajax. Bianca not really having a liking for you or your friend group. But, don’t get it twisted, Xavier still always made time for you all. The occasional shed hangout/study sessions where hardly any work would be done, instead the room would be filled with laughter. Or the bi-weekly smoke session that would happen in Ajax's room. Typically it just consisted of you, Xavier, and Ajax as Enid wasn’t the one to participate in that type of stuff. They made Nevermore a little more sufferable.

<><><>

Shooting up, pillow in hand, the sound of loud pounding on your door woke you up. Enid's cheery voice came from the other side. Groaning, you shoved your pillow on top of your head, hoping the pillows would be enough to block her out. The rambunctious pounding finally came to an end, allowing you to shut your eyes for a few more minutes. Well, more like two minutes before your covers were ripped straight off of your body. The chilly air cooling you off causing you to jerk up out of bed. Falling face to face with Enid proud smile. Her raven-haired girlfriend standing there next to her, broken bobby pin in hand. “I’m going to personally drag both of you through the gates of hell,” you said, annoyed that you were woken up. Looking over at the clock showing that it was a quarter till 11.

“Sounds exhilarating,” Wednesday said, earning a pillow thrown at her face. Leaving to go sit on the charred bed that was in the corner of your room. You meant to dispose of it after your last breakdown but completely forgot. Too mentally drained to want to do anything afterward. Rubbing your hands across your face, letting the warmth of your palms warm you up. Not that it mattered much, you were like a walking furnace.

“Visitation starts in less than twenty minutes,” Enid started, grabbing items off your floor and placing them into your hamper in the bathroom. Annoyed grunts admitted from you and Wednesday. Glancing at your calendar, you completely forgot about visitation, and for a good reason. Your parents weren’t the nicest, shit they were barely tolerable. Today was the one day of the year you dreaded more than outreach day... “And as your best friend, I know you well enough to know that you need to be awake at least 15 minutes prior to your parent's arrival.” She said as she rummaged through your closet for your uniform.

If you asked Wednesday, maybe you could form an agreement to take each other out. Then neither of you would have to deal with your parents. But then again, you can’t leave Enid to her mother's invasive questions by herself. Cursing under your breath, you excused yourself to the restroom once Enid had found your clothes. You could just sense that today was going to be an outright disaster. But there was no escaping from your parents, they were going to be here all weekend. Trying to take as long as you could, but there was only so much time you could stare at yourself in the mirror before you had to face the inevitable. Grabbing your gloves as you made your way out of the bathroom, securely tightening them.

As you made your way to the quad, you met Ajax and Xavier in the hallway not far from your room. Probably having the same idea as Enid and Wednesday. You and Enid greeted the two boys as Wednesday just gave them a nod and continued walking. As you continued you felt Xavier's hand on the back of your vest, pulling you back towards him. “Are you ready?” he mumered, looking down at you as your face turned stone cold. Reaching his arm around your shoulder, rubbing your arm ever so slightly. He knew you hated this dreadful day, even more than he did.

“I think I would rather face the monster that lurking in those woods, than deal with my parents.” You said, leaning into his touch. Ever since Bianca and him broke up, you both became more touchy towards one another. Just like you were before they had gotten together. More times than not you found yourself waking up with your head on Xavier's lap when you all were having your smoke sessions. As you five entered the Quad, all simultaneously groaned as you searched for your respective families. Xavier left a slight squeeze on your arm before taking off with Ajax to sit with his family. “Well, see you two on the other side.” You mumbled, before heading off to see your parents.

You had only been with your family for about ten minutes before an argument broke out. “How disgraceful, when your sister gained her powers she was able to tame it fairly quickly…seems not to be the case now is it?” your mother said snarkily, her manicured nails digging into your palms as she examined your hands. Scoffing, you pulled your arms from her grasp, rubbing the marks from where her nails were. Your father and mother both made it known how disappointed they were in you, any moment they could.

“If they aren’t teaching you how to control your powers, what on earth are they possibly teaching you,” your father argued, raising his voice, bringing those who were sitting near to start staring. His tall, lean, structure towered over you as his full attention was on you instead of the food he was previously eating.

“Your father is correct, you should be in control by now.” Her hands sitting on your shoulder. The weight of her words seeping into your head, you couldn’t help it. It's not like you didn’t train vicariously every week with principal Weems, to control your powers. “If it is not the school holding you back Y/c/n/n, then it must be your own doing.” Your mother said, arm reaching down to yank the gloves out of your hands. “I’ll be taking these.”

“Please don’t do this, I need those,” You pleaded. You could feel your hands start to heat up, becoming sweaty. Those gloves helped you from hurting others when your emotions got the best of you. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see your friends Enid, Xavier, and Ajax standing up from their seats slowly, observing your conversation from afar. Realizing just how much attention was on your family at the moment caused your body to grow even hotter. The restricting feeling of your clothes only causing you to grow even more uncomfortable.

“No, you don’t understand.” Your father spoke, taking your gloves from your mother's hands. “We’ve been too lenient with you.” At that moment the air felt like it was ripped out of your lungs as your father set your gloves aflame turning into nothing but ashes floating through the air. His fire was stronger than yours, that was a given. His father put him through extensive training in order to get it to a temperature that was considered nearly impossible to reach.

Before you knew it, your friends were gathering around you. Ajax and Xavier pushed your parents away as Enid stood in front of you, trying to bring your attention back to her. But all you could see was your parent's sinister smirks plastered on their face. So you ran, as fast as you could away from the prying eyes and sinister smiles. Catching the attention of Xavier, he made a dash for you. Leaving Enid to fetch principal Weems as Ajax stood with your parents. Your name leaves his mouth multiple times as he tries to reach you.

“Y/n!” Xavier yelled one last time, hoping that you would stop. You slowly came to a stop, not turning to face him. Trying your best to conceal your sniffles and tears. The world hasn’t ended, but with everything that just occurred, it sure felt like it. “Hey, hey it’s okay, I’m right here with you,” Lightly put his hand on your shoulder to turn you around. He could feel you burning up through your clothes. “Focus on me,” But it was too late, your emotions were out of control. You were getting ready to run again, he could tell. He grabbed your wrist with his hand, quickly removing it with a little yelp.

Turning around you realized that your hands and wrist were admitted in small blue flames. You started to reach out for him, but pulled away quickly, not wanting to risk hurting him again. Panic soared through your body, you never meant to hurt him. Without a second thought, you rushed down the dum-light hall, as fast as you could into your dorm room.

Leaning against your door, you stared down at your hands in horror. You hurt not only your crush but also your best friend. What did I do? This is all my fault, I’m a monster, a freak. The voices of those who shamed you in the past flood your brain. “T...They were right, I'm a monster,” You muttered, tears flowing down your face as you slid down your door. Scorch marks are left on the door due to the temperature of your body.

<><><>

You haven't come out of your room much since that day. Xavier would knock three times a day, only to receive no reply. Sometimes he would sit there hoping you would come out and take the food he had gotten you from the cafeteria.

Today was the last day of visitation, you had officially been away in your room for 48 hours at this point. A loud knock awoke you from your sleep, looking at your phone to see it was 10:48am. Parents were due to leave at 11am. Groaning, you made your way out of bed, opening the door for your horrid parents. “You really should smile more dear, it is unladylike not to.” Your mother blabbed, at this point, you toned her out. Her nagging voice leaves you with a headache every time you hear it. You watched as her eyes scanned your room. Distaste grew upon her face, but for once in a blue moon, she stayed silent.

“You should learn to speak nice things or nothing at all,” You snapped back, reminding yourself there were only twelve minutes until they had to leave. You were glad your siblings stayed behind this visitation day, otherwise, the whole school might have gone aflame not just your door.

“Don’t you start with me girl,” your mother's finger waved around your face, trying to be threatening. Looking at her finger and back up at her, your face showing the, “are you done?” No movement happened for a few minutes until your phone alarm went off. You smiled at her, grabbed your phone, and slammed your finger on the STOP button. In less than ten minutes you were going to be rid of one of the two dead weights off your shoulder.

“Well it’s a real shame, it’s time to go.” You said, stalking towards the door and swinging it open. Only to realize the tall boy with his arm raised into a fist, looking like he was getting ready to knock. Looking at him, you walked out of your room past him, your parents following close behind.

As you and your parents reached their ride, not much was spoken. “Well…” was all your mother said before she entered the car. Not once stopping to say goodbye or that she loves..just well. Your father stayed behind for a few more moments, looking like he had something to say. Instead, he patted your shoulder and joined your mother in the car. You didn’t stay once the car door closed, set on finding your friends and seeing how their visitation went. You did hear some talk of Wednesday and her mother solving their “criminal” father's case.

You were about ten feet away from your friends when Xavier stepped in front of you. Trying to move around him, he wouldn’t get out of the way. Huffing, “Xavier, please,” but all he did was shake his head no. As you continued to try and move past him, his hands grabbed your shoulder so you couldn’t move away. “I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“No, can we please just talk? You’ve been ignoring me for the past 48 hours and I think I’m probably losing my mind.” He rambled, taking his hands off you and messing with whatever was in his pocket. Nodding your head, he escorted you to a quieter area where no one could peep. “Now, before you start, let me speak please.” Taking your silence as an answer, he started, “ I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, I’m not mad at you. I shouldn’t have grabbed you so suddenly knowing that you were in distress,” Bringing his hands out of his pockets holding a poorly wrapped brown package. “It’s not much, but I tried my best to find these.”

Opening the package, a new pair of shiny, black, fire-resistant gloves. Green edges that remind you of Xavier's eyes outlined the gloves. “But…I burned you, Xavier…I burned you and you got me a gift.” You muttered, eyes glossy as your thumb rubbed the leathery fabric.

“Hey, it was barely a smudge,” He said, showing you both of his hands. No burn marks showing anywhere. A heavyweight felt like it was being lifted off your chest, thrilled that he wasn’t seriously injured by your flames. “I promised you I was going to be by your side, a little fire isn’t going to scare me off,” He said smiling, pulling you into his arms.

“It’s dangerous to hold me this close Xavy,” You protested, “trying to release yourself from his grasp. The keyword was trying as he held you closer with every push.

“Well, my little firecracker, I love you way too much to let you go again.” Hope filled his eyes as he peered down at you. Your cheeks felt hot as you heard his confession, not a fiery burn everything down, but a warm fuzzy warmth that only reached your ears. You were afraid that the accident would cause him to never want to be near you again.

Nuzzling your face into his shoulder, a mumbled, “I love you too,” left your lips. There was no explosion or temperature increase. Just a guy and girl madly in love with each other. In their little happy world.

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This was only supposed to be around 600 words, and here we are over 3,000 more later. I got work here early tomorrow, but I wanted to get this fic done so I could work on the next request for you all. Thank you everyone for the amazing submissions, I adore yall. Signing off and heading the fuck to sleep.

#xavier thrope x reader #xavier thrope fanfic #xavier thrope imagine #enid sinclair #wednesday addams

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keerysfreckles · 2 years ago

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Wednesday Boy HCs

(boys in wednesday x reader)

no mention of pronouns!

XAVIER

- would definitely try to impress you with his art and his powers (did it work? yes.)

- he would always let you sit next to him in mrs. thornhill's class if there were no other spots

- during the poe cup, if you were apart of the black cats he WOULD NEVER STOP LOOKING AT YOU OMG (boy would be flabbergasted)

- his ideal first date is you two hanging out in his art shed; probably painting together

- his fav place to kiss you would be your temple or forehead (i picture him taller than a lot of ppl so forehead kisses are his fav)

- your fav place to kiss him is neck, its easy for you to reach plus it makes him blush like crazy if its front of people

- he loves when you play with his hair, or put his hair up in a bun for him

- he would always have his hand on your lower back; if you were walking somewhere together, or hanging out with friends

AJAX

- he would be insecure about his snakes when you first started dating; he'd mainly worry about them popping out of his beanie during make out sessions

- for his birthday, or any special occasion you ALWAYS buy him a new beanie for his collection

- he would love it when you held his hand in public; its one of his favorite forms of affection from you

- you two sit in the back of mrs. thornhill's class so you're always sharing notes, or doodling on each other's notebooks, or even stealing small kisses from each other

- when you two kiss he loves to put his hands under your shirt, it gives you goosebumps every time he does it

- after the poe cup you, you would go back to your dorm to take the costume and makeup off, but ajax would want to come find you (he just really thought you looked hot in your cat outfit) and when he knocked and saw you open the door still in your costume he was SPEECHLESS- yes this ended up as a very heated makeout session with both of you in your poe cup outfits

- he loves giving you hugs where he picks you up off the ground, with his arms wrapped around your waist and your hands end up going to his shoulders

- he would probably be the type to ask you to the rave'n the day of which just STRESSES you out; enid would definitely help pick out a dress for you tho

- i feel like with gorgons, the more they trust a person the more likely they can't stone them; with that said if ajax ever says he loves you (or gets close to that point) he can take his beanie off in front of you

TYLER

- his whole mood changes whenever you'd walk into the weathervane

- he would definitely memorize your coffee order

- during his shifts he'd probably place his hand on your shoulder whenever he'd walk by you, or kiss your cheek before going back behind the counter

- both of your ideal date would just to spend the day together in jericho; either walking around looking through shops, or eating somewhere for dinner

- i feel like the first kiss between you two would be similar to him and wednesdays kiss in the show

^^^ he'd be closing up for the night at the weathervane and you go into jericho because you were planning on asking him to the rave'n. he never locks the door at night, which you'd definitely scold him for. you go in and you two talk for a minute or so before you start stuttering about asking him to the rave'n. he'd walk closer to which just makes you more nervous, but he would put his hand on your cheek to make you look up at him and silence your rambling. “i'd love to go to the rave'n with you” AND HE'D KISS YOU RIGHT THEN AND THERE. your hands would go to his waist and he'd pull back first- only for you to lean up to kiss him again.

ROWAN

- oh he would definitely be down bad for you before you two even had your first conversation together

- he'd always look at you from his seat in classes, or while passing in the hallways

- you would get paired for a project together and thats how you two got to know each other more

- xavier would be in his painting shed a lot so you would take the opportunity to sneak into rowans dorm

- normally rowan would hate going to his fencing class, scared to be beaten by his classmates, but when he saw you join his class, suddenly that was his favorite part of his day

- he would probably nervous showing his affection for you publicly, so he would always link your pinkies together when you walked, and when sitting he would sit so close to you where there was barely any room in between your bodies

- he would find out your favorite style he wears (button up shirts with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows) so he'd wear it around you more often

- since he was apart of the nightshades he'd always take you there as your secret makeout spot

- you two cant only share one kiss, it always turns into two, then three- before it turns into a full on makeout session

#wednesday #xavier thorpe #ajax petropolus #tyler gaplin #rowan laslow #percy hynes white #georgie farmer #hunter doohan #calum ross

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psychic-refugee · 2 years ago

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To concur with @novemberwasgrey, I also have a headcanon that Xavier is a virgin.

If he were a player, then I think that would have been one of the first things Enid would have told Wednesday when they were touring the school.

We have to remember that Enid at the time thought herself the school’s gossip queen and even had a dedicated gossip blog. She gave descriptions of people as if she were describing characters or archetypes instead of her peers or friends.

Bianca – High school royalty Ajax – Cute but clueless who is constantly stoned

I think instead of “tortured artist,” if Xavier was some sort of Casanova, she would have called him the artistic playboy or something akin to that. Gossiping about people’s sex lives is normally at the top of the list and I don’t think Enid would have been able to resist.

We also see that Bianca makes some remarks about giving the boys “nothing.” To me she seems the type to brag about being a virgin, where she uses it more as a control thing to deny what she knows they want, rather than a preference of her physical boundaries.

When dating Xavier, I think Bianca was more enamored with being a power couple than with him. Especially since she was trying to live a new life, and dating the son of a wealthy and famous Outcast would give her more credibility as this “it girl.”

I further headcanon Xavier wasn’t that into Bianca despite dating her. (because deep down he knew he was waiting for his soulmate Wednesday, obvs). I suspect that as time went on, he was losing interest and perhaps Bianca could sense an inevitable break up was on its way.

On top of just not being that into her, he was also understandably going through a stressful time after being attacked. He’s told to let it go by all the important adults in his life, and dating just isn’t something that interests him anymore. By extension, he wasn’t interest in sex either.

Bianca doesn’t want sex, but she also doesn’t want to lose Xavier. I think maybe she offered to fool around with him, or to do “everything but sex” to convince him to stay with her. He’s not interested, so that makes her very insecure as everyone wants her. Not only is she the queen bee, maybe she’s supposed to have a natural allure as a siren. She takes his sexual rejection personally as his girlfriend and as a siren.

Her natural instinct is to use her siren song to get her way, so maybe she does a little hum or tune to “help things along” but not an all out siren song to totally brainwash him into anything. He’s too stressed and still reeling from his attack for it to work on him. Now he’s betrayed by another person he had trusted.

Now that he knows that she’d use her powers on him, he doesn’t know if anything in their relationship was real, or was she using her powers the entire time and he didn’t notice?

Everything together leads to a messy break up that to outsiders looks like it came from nowhere.

#Xavier Thorpe #Bianca Barclay #headcanon

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insideyourminddddddd · 2 years ago

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inside your mind | xavier thorpe x wednesday addams

authors note: i have this fic posted on ao3 if you don't wanna jump around to different hyperlinks (here). thank you guys for all the support on this!! it truly means so much, really proud of this chapter and excited for all to come (it's a long one hehe)

pairings: xavier thorpe x wednesday addams

about: “the back of your head is at the front of my mind, soon i’ll crack it open and see what’s inside.” xavier thorpe returns to nevermore after the events of last semester with an obsession that runs deeper than ever. he’s going to do anything for her.

warnings: jealous!xavier, eventually more (#smut), SLOWBURNNNNNNNNN af

part 0 , part 1 , part 2, part 3

Ajax was folding laundry when Xavier knocked on his door. He had planned a date with Enid that night and was trying to find the right shirt for it. They never did much - watched a movie, explored the grounds of Nevermore while sneaking kisses, stole desserts from the dining hall to eat while laying in the grass and counting stars. They didn’t need to do anything extravagant; he just liked being around her.

He was imagining Enid’s obsession with raspberry tarts, which he didn’t even need to eat himself to taste, when he realized he’d neglected to open the door immediately and Xavier swung it open instead.

“What the fuck, Xavier?” Ajax laughed as he said it. He swallowed that laugh when he saw the expression on Xavier’s face.

“I need sleeping pills.”

“What?” Ajax had informed Xavier of his prescribed sleeping pills last year, which were compliments of a bout of severe anxiety that had caused him to experience insomnia. At the time, Ajax had been suffering a string of nightmares centered around a loss of control of his powers that resulted in him stoning those around him. Although it wasn’t directly stated, it was an implied necessity at Nevermore to be able to harness your abilities and not negatively affect peers in order to avoid expulsion. Unlike many of his other classmates, Ajax’s home life was less than favorable and attending Nevermore was the most favorable opportunity he’d yet to experience. The thought of slipping up, of doing anything that would compromise his admission, was consuming. Unfortunately, the sleeping pills had actually made his nightmares more vivid and consequently worse. He stopped taking them, and when he got closer with Enid, they stopped anyway.

“Please, Ajax.” Xavier’s tone carried a whine that Ajax hadn’t heard him express before.

“Why?” Ajax, who had previously been looking over his shoulder, turned to face Xavier entirely. “Shut the door.”

Xavier obeyed and closed it before swiftly locking it. Ajax noticed how significantly his hands were trembling. “I don’t want to talk about this. Just give me the pills, I’ll give you whatever you want. You don’t even take them.”

“No,” Ajax stood his ground. “Not unless you tell me why you need them.”

Xavier’s whining persisted. “Don’t fucking do this to me, AJ.”

“An endearing nickname, how becoming of you.”

“Fine.”

Ajax nodded, encouraging Xavier to elaborate. Although stubborn, Xavier rarely kept his walls up for long. Ajax had learned this in the time they’d been friends, and suspected that this stemmed from his sensitivity.

“I have this new roommate, Miles,” Xavier started reluctantly.

“Yeah, I heard. Some legacy kid.”

“I can’t stand him. He’s got this arrogant nature that rubs me the wrong way and today… well, today-” Xavier trailed off, his cheeks flushing at how embarrassing his feelings were to describe. In the case of Ajax, he found emotional expression particularly difficult because Ajax was dating Wednesday’s roommate. It wasn’t that Xavier didn’t trust Ajax. He just didn’t want Ajax to be put in a position of playing the middleman, or for Enid to consult Ajax about Xavier’s opinions and Ajax to feel morally obligated to be honest with her. Part of these insecurities stemmed from Xavier’s perception of the severity of Ajax’s feelings for Enid. If Xavier was with Wednesday, he would tell her anything and everything. There wouldn’t be a sentence in the book of his life that she wouldn’t be allowed to read and remaster. In his mind, he was a rough draft waiting for her reprisal and approval, worthless for now but holding the potential to be made a bestseller by her hands.

“Go on.”

“He knows Wednesday, in this personal way, I guess. I have this drawing of her from last semester, and I put it on my wall and he saw it and he ridiculed me for it and… he… I don’t know. I can’t stand him. I can’t fucking stand him.”

Ajax’s eyes grew wide at the aggression he could sense steaming off of Xavier. Enid had texted Ajax earlier describing a dark-haired guy who’d knocked on their door looking for Wednesday. Wednesday hadn’t been home at the time, but Enid described the boy as both persistent and classically attractive. Like James Dean, but darker. Knowing the way that Wednesday served as the gravitational pull of Xavier’s atmosphere, Ajax could only imagine how much this was eating Xavier alive. Still, he couldn’t connect the dots. “What do you need sleeping pills for?”

Xavier’s already flushed cheeks grew redder. “Do you have to make me explain everything?”

“Xavier, I’m not just going to give you a bottle of fucking pills. Tell me what the hell they’re for!”

Xavier raised his eyebrow. In the majority of him and Ajax’s close companionship, he had rarely observed Ajax express any emotion aside from joy. He was abundantly positive, funny and excitable. Even in an anxious state, Ajax neglected to get to a point of anger. Yet here he was. “What do you think I’m trying to do? I want to sleep.”

“It’s 4 pm.”

Xavier scoffed. “Is it funny, how I feel? I’m not going to bed right now, you dick. I’m taking my shit to my art shed and moving in. I can’t be around that guy.”

“Isn’t that extreme?”

“Are you giving them to me or not?”

Ajax met Xavier’s eyes and held his stare. In the blissful stage of his budding relationship with Enid, he often forgot about Xavier’s struggles with Wednesday. He knew he should feel guilty for it, and he did. But Xavier didn’t reach out. It seemed to be a conversation neither of them wanted to have, so Ajax made peace with it. However, he still cared for Xavier deeply. He missed the fun they used to have together, pulling pranks at every Nightshade social and making fun of Bianca’s controlling nature. Life was quickly changing, but Ajax thought about the past often. It wasn’t his fault that this semester had been great for him, but it also wasn’t Xavier’s fault in the inverse. If giving the sleeping pills to Xavier would improve his quality of life and allow him to get seemingly much needed rest, Ajax would do it. “Fine. But I’m only giving you two to start.”

“Thank you.” Xavier sounded sincere.

“And don’t pay me. I already sell weed. I don’t need to become a bonafide drug dealer.” Ajax walked over to his nightstand, removing the largely full pill bottle from his bedside table.

“But you’re so good at it!” Xavier smirked in a way that gave Ajax the impression that he was getting a glimpse into the old him.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ajax chuckled in response and handed Xavier the two pills he’d promised.

“I’ll seriously repay you in some way,” Xavier put the pills into the pocket of his dark sweatpants, looking relieved already. “You don’t know how bad I feel, man.”

Ajax nodded somberly in response. “You know, if you actually want to talk about it sometimes, I’m here for you.”

Xavier shrugged, as if they both knew that wasn’t entirely true. “What do you do with the weed money I give you anyway?”

Bum his way into town to buy random things for Enid. Send it to his mom so that she doesn’t write again begging for it. “Save it up so that I can start a cartel with a target audience of starved and emotionally collapsed artists.”

“Fuck off,” Xavier laughed again, for real this time. “I’ll be in the shed.”

He left Ajax’s room just as quickly as he’d entered, leaving Ajax to his clean laundry and Enid-centered daydreams. Meanwhile, Xavier imagined a certain girl of his own.

—

Wednesday was eating a sandwich in the Quad when Bianca approached her. Lately, Wednesday had been spending some more time outside than usual. Typically, she wouldn’t run the risk of sun exposure impacting her notoriously pale complexion, but being outside granted her time to think.

“Wednesday.” Bianca’s voice was characteristically aggressive.

Looking up at her blankly, Wednesday nodded to acknowledge the conversation. “Yes?”

“What did you do to Xavier?”

Wednesday struggled to keep her eyes from widening. What happened to Xavier? Was he okay? “What do you speak of?” She maintained a monotone, composed edge to her voice, trying not to show any degree of affection.

Bianca rolled her eyes. “Don’t play dumb. You know something’s wrong with him, and I know it’s your fault. Didn’t Miles talk to you?”

Miles. The name initiated fuzzy memories of a boy around her age, the son of a couple Wednesday’s parents were close with. In childhood, Wednesday often ignored anyone affiliated with Nevermore. She had no desire to follow in her mother’s footsteps and rejected any semblance of her likeness. Yet, all those efforts had still come to this. It was like destiny. Now that Wednesday thought about it, she recalled Morticia mentioning Miles Atwater’s enrollment at Nevermore in their latest brief call. This wasn’t information that she found necessary to internalize, considering she hadn’t seen him in years. “No.”

“Miles Atwater? Xavier’s new roommate? He’s been telling people he knows you.”

This was quizzical to Wednesday. In the little that she remembered about Miles, she knew that him and Xavier couldn’t be less alike. “I know of him, but we have yet to speak in any recent years.” Wednesday’s eyes flickered to meet Bianca’s, which she always found to be an intense experience. Although Wednesday could be associated as a holder of aggressive energy, she found this sentiment to be highly amplified in Bianca’s case. Bianca’s blue eyes were eternally fierce and a deep swimming pool of fury. If she could, Wednesday bet Bianca would drown her in them.

“God. God. Could you be any more robotic?”

“Possibly. I’ll have to look into it.”

“You’re a bitch.”

Wednesday nodded, processing the term. Bianca had both done and said volatile things to her in the past, but that was a new one. “I have not done anything to Xavier, and I have not spoken to Miles. The conversation is over, Bianca..” Was that first half entirely true? Wednesday pondered the idea. If this subject in her mind was a sink, the rational side of her brain always kept the tap off. If she let her emotions win, the sink would overflow, and she would be presented with these notions of lust and simultaneous guilt that she felt unable to process. She knew Xavier had to be hurting, but couldn’t fathom the degree of pain that Bianca seemed to imply. Couldn’t he just turn it off, like she did? Didn’t he realize that with trust came destruction? Instinctively, she brought her arm up to cradle her shoulder, right where that damned scar was. Strangely, a stinging emotion came over her as she did this, imagining a hand much larger than hers placed upon it. This was a feeling she rarely felt, an emotion she was almost never inclined toward - the urge to cry.

Bianca sensed that Wednesday was closed off, shaking her head. “Just a bitch,” she repeated cruelly before walking away, leaving Wednesday to her half-eaten sandwich.

—

Xavier found himself in a dark space, noting the familiar aroma of distilled vanilla and earthiness that was associated with the indescribable scent of old, rotting books. He had the familiar feeling that he was dreaming, which was notably distinct from one of his visions. As he settled into the dreamstate more knowingly, he realized he was in the meeting room for the Nightshade Society. He had been in this room more times than he could count, yet it felt different. He couldn’t place his fingers on why that was - until he heard a whimper to the left of him.

Turning swiftly, his eyes locked with the wide brown eyes he could draw from memory by now. He felt his heart drop - it’d been so long since he’d gotten to do this. As he stepped back to look at the whole of her, he noticed the gag in her mouth and ropes securing her small wrists behind her back. Wednesday looked exactly how she had when she’d been caught by the Nightshades before and ‘kidnapped’. Xavier loathed the memory of it. When Bianca’s idiot friend Kent had put that bag over Wednesday’s face, Xavier wanted to strangle him. He couldn’t stand the sight of her that day, and remembered feeling both proud and impressed when she had untied herself and ridiculed the society. That’s my girl, he wanted to say.

Something was different this time. Wednesday was struggling against her constraints and actualized fear was clear on her face. Among an overwhelming feeling of confusion, Xavier ran to her. “Who did this? Who did this?” He reached over to pull the gag from her mouth, wincing when Wednesday began to jerk away from him after he’d done so.

“You did this!” She screamed, trying to be as far from him as possible.

Xavier’s face twisted. “No, I didn’t. I would never do this to you. Wednesday, I would never do this to you. I would never fucking do this to you.”

“Don’t touch me!” The expression exuding from her eyes is one that Xavier isn’t even sure how he could’ve conjured, and one that he wouldn’t forget. The look of fear, of anxiety - at the sight of him - was the worst thing he had ever seen.

“This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream,” Xavier began to pace, feeling his heart reach an impossibly fast rate.

Wednesday continued to scream among incoherent phrases. One, however, was discernible. The words made Xavier stop walking, straightening his spine to look at her as though she had shot him in the heart. She was screaming Tyler’s name. For help.Xavier couldn’t look at her, at the way her skirt was riding up as she kicked her legs back and forth. This wasn’t real. None of this was real. But why, even in his dreams, did his insecurities have to warp into the object of his greatest desire? He sank to the floor, rocking from side to side as he brought his hands to his eyes. He squeezed them as hard as he could until Wednesday’s screams were muffled, using such force that he felt like he could split his head in two. He relished in this thought, at the notion of every last Wednesday-defined string of thoughts in his brain decorating the cold tile. This is what he focused on, a way out of the agony, until his vision faded to black.

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wannabevampire · 3 years ago

Text

Window To My Soul,

Painting of My Heart.

🕯(see end notes if you wanna know why i used this photo!) 🕯

Okay so there’s no smut but it’s very angsty so like…soft 18+ rating ? check trigger warnings & please take care of yourself!

this fic is LONG!!

Druig x fem!reader (she/her pronouns are used)~ angst edition…

☆

i have a series based off this one-shot, featuring:

[druig x eternal!fem!oc ]<-click here to view series!

i really like it! so go check it out if you want <3

☆

warnings: slight fic spoilers in warnings~So!! Much!! Angst!!, Violence and Blood (it’s not super detailed i don’t think?), death

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:* 🪐☕️⏳🎞*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

♡ 4:19 pm

“Why do you have to be so god damn controlling all the time.”

You shouted.

“Maybe if you weren’t so fucking irresponsible I wouldn’t have to be.”

Druig said calmly.

He was leaning against one of the walls in the apartment the two of you had broken into. His head tilted back in exasperation.

“I was not being irresponsible! I had the opportunity to stop someone from dying so I took it!”

You retaliated.

“Yeah? You could have died. Then where would that leave us? With you dead and the mission unfulfilled. How do you think that conversation would go down with Ajax?”

Druig snapped at you.

“What so that gives you permission to brainwash me?”

You said angrily.

“Maybe if you weren’t so busy constantly being the most selfish being on the planet you’d realize that your actions have consequences! I did what I had to in order to keep you alive.”

He said.

“Oh Druig my wonderful god! However may I repay your chivalry!”

You said sarcastically, your voice raising steadily.

“What is wrong with you? I saved your life, and i’m not even asking for thanks. I don’t care if you hate me. But i’m not loosing you.”

Druig says, his voice eerily calm. His eyes fixated on the painting hanging on the wall across from him. It was crooked and the paint was chipping but he thought made it more beautiful.

“You can’t even look at me.”

You trail off, voice softening.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Druig clenched his jaw as if trying to real back every word and emotion he was feeling. Yet his eyesight never wavered, and continued to stay locked onto the painting.

“Are you really that disgusted with me?”

You asked, trying your best to play off the comment as if it was just sarcastic banter. But the raw hurt was evident in your tone. No matter how hard the two of you tried to ignore it, the feelings of hatred were slowly fading away.

Replaced instead with emotions of sadness, betrayal, anger, loneliness, confusion, insecurity—

What now?

“I’m not disgusted with you.”

He said, his tone sounded rehearsed.

“Then what?”

You laughed exasperatedly and threw your hands up, emphasizing your frustration.

“You don’t think I’m capable enough to stand up for myself. You do everything in your power to make sure I don’t fight. You ignore me constantly, and when you do decide to acknowledge my existence it’s only so you can criticize me! And now you’re giving me the cold shoulder. So excuse me for thinking you’re disgusted with me, because that’s how you treat me.”

You heard him sigh from across the room and stopped in your tracks. You had a tendency to zone out when you ranted, and hadn’t realized you were passing.

You stood there, your back turned to him.

Did he really just sigh? Is this that unimportant to him? Do I punch him or start crying?

Thoughts raced through your head, debating what to do next.

Finally settling on an appropriate reaction you turned around forcefully beginning to storm up to him. Your livid and confused mindset not allowing you to take in your surroundings. Causing you to walked straight into Druig, who had somehow managed to walk over without you noticing.

You bumped full force into his chest and stumbled backwards, mentally preparing yourself to hit the dusty wooden floor. Your fear of the fall was less about pain and more about pride.

You felt yourself falling down, down, down, down- and you couldn’t stop yourself, all your efforts of self preservation were in vain.

No matter what you did at this point there was no way to catch yourself on your own.

Although the drop was minuscule and probably wouldn’t even leave a mark, it had become so much more than that. If you fell you would break. If you fell it would be sign of defeat. If you fell he would win. But most of all, if you fell you’d have to look up.

Stare into his mesmerizing eyes, the ones you tried so desperately to hate.

What’s that saying Shakespeare came up with?

“The eyes are the window to the soul.”

Well it’s true. Especially with him. Mind control aside, his eyes were filled with emotion. They told stories of his lives, past and present. They held memories of sleepless nights filled with endless conversations about the universe. His eyes showed what the rest of his stoic face could not.

With every blink of his eye, flutter of his lashes, and tear shed he unveiled small parts of his soul.

With every second spent staring in wonder the more discoveries you made. Unveiling new fractions of his spirit. With every fleeting glance sent his way the more you felt your resolve start to wilt.

You’d spent so long trying to hate him. But your justifications were fading and you couldn’t keep doing this.

This was not just a trip & stumble, this was a confession. And you weren’t sure you were ready to face it. To look into his stupid mysteriously handsome eyes on his stupid beautiful face and tell him you didn’t hate him. To tell him that you felt the opposite. To tell him you…

But the world didn’t seem to care that you were ill prepared. You were still falling and soon you’d hit the floor-

Druig caught you swiftly, unintentionally pulling you closer. Causing the two of you to come face to face.

And for once, you didn’t want to look away. You wanted to get lost in his eyes. You wanted to learn the stories spinning through his head and absorb all the emotions ghosting his vision.

As the two of you stood there. Clutching onto each other, both of your demeanors filled with unnecessary desperation. You realized something.

You’d killed deviants. Fought the greatest warriors throughout history. You’d been shot, stabbed, beat up, and kidnapped. But none of the emotions that arose from those situations even came close to the fear you felt right now.

You loved him, and there was no emotion in the world scarier than love.

☆ 4:19 pm

You were the most exhausting being he had ever met.

You didn’t follow directions,

you always took his food,

and one time he’d had to bail you out of jail for stealing (or, as you called it, reclaiming) a necklace of yours that had ended up in “The Hall of Geology, Gems, and Minerals” at the Smithsonian.

In your defense you had tried to explain that it technically belonged to you. Never mind that you’d lost it a few centuries back.

NYPD did not find you very amusing.

Calling Druig for back up was the last thing you wanted to do, but you were facing jail time. And you didn’t just need to escape, you needed them to forget. And enduring the agony of asking Druig for a favor sounded a lot better than hiding for a decade until the case dropped or the suspects predicted appearance no longer fit your description.

Druig was not in the mood to walk four blocks, get on the crowded subway, take the 2 all the way to NYPD headquarters, erase any trace of you from the memories of everyone in the police station, and then have to endure you rapid-fire whispering your side of the story for the rest of the night before falling asleep on his bed (leaving him to sleep on the couch).

But you were his…he wasn’t quite sure. But you were you. So he went.

You remained silent when he walked in, with your head hung shamefully and your eyes locked on your boots. He assumed your were acting innocent so the cops would lessen your punishment.

But even after he mind wiped everyone in the vicinity you stayed quite. Simply following him out the door like a lost puppy. He was glad for the silence, he didn’t have to deal with your constant rambling and “fun facts”.

Well, he knew he was suppose to be happy about it. He had wanted peace and quite and he had gotten it. So why did he find himself missing your jokes and movie references and your slightly intrusive people watching observations?

He found himself egging you on. Throwing out a few sarcastic comments about the police. He even made an oceans 8 reference! (He’d only watched it because you wouldn’t shut up about how good it was for a month straight. Not that he would ever admit it, but he loved every second of it. The movie and your seemingly endless review.)

But he got not reaction. Only a nod here and there and a bit of forced laughter that sounded about as convincing as Druig’s attempt at an American accent.

He couldn’t bring himself to be mad at you. Not when you looked so completely and utterly defeated.

He still remembered the look in your eye when he asked you why this was so upsetting. He would never forget it.

It was the first time he saw you cry. And the moment he saw your tears start to fall he knew he never wanted to see it again. Not because it affected your appearance, but because the raw hurt in your eyes made his heart break a little bit.

The two of you had ended up on his bed. Your limbs tangled as you cried into his chest and he held you protectively in his arms. Druig’s hand gently stroking your head, his calm voice assuring you that everything was okay.

You remembered thinking he gave really good hugs.

He remembered loving the sensation of holding you in his arms.

You never answered his question, never told him why you were so upset.

And he never asked again. He didn’t want to risk seeing you cry again.

When the rays of sunlight breached the early morning sky and woke both of you, the two of you came to an unspoken agreement to never talk about what had happened. You silently decided to go back to being enemies. You ignored the butterflies you felt waking up in his arms. He decided to disregard the warm feeling that filled his chest when he saw you curled up in his bed with your head nestled into his chest.

You both elected to forget the position the two of you fell asleep in. To omit any knowledge of how the other person liked to cuddle from your memories. And pretend like this wasn’t the safest either of you had ever felt.

You agreed to never speak of it.

But he thought of that night every day.

He “went back” to hating you, though he never really had in the first place.

But that night he had uncovered a new perspective, one that he could not shake.

That night he had realized that he liked your rambling.

He noticed the way he subconsciously perked up when someone mentioned your name.

And became hyper aware of the fact that anytime you walked into a room he did everything in his power to look (not-so) effortlessly cool.

He realized he had been buying an extra portion of food every time he ordered take-out.

And registered the page in his notebook filled with your movie recommendations.

He acknowledged these actions and recognized his feelings. Yet there was no word he knew to describe the way he felt about you.

After that strangely-beautiful night and slightly confusing epiphany he tried his best to go back to normal. But he just couldn’t.

He felt more protective over you. He panicked at the idea of you going on missions without him. He jumped in at every opportunity to accompany you.

His sudden change in demeanor caught the attention of the other and he scrambled desperately to find an excuse. He settled on something along the lines of:

“She’s not capable of completing this mission in a time efficient way and it would just be faster if I went with her.”

He could tell by the expression on your face that his words stung. But he hoped you realized he was putting on an act and you were just pretending in front of the others.

He mentally slapped himself in the face for his stupidity when he saw that your expression didn’t change when the two of you were alone.

He’d make it up to you. Show you he cared. Protect you from every possible threat. Do everything in his power to keep you safe.

He was so set on keeping you safe he didn’t pick up on your annoyance.

That’s how he’d ended up here.

He desperately wanted to tell you what he really meant. He longed to explain himself, and inform you that he didn’t hate you, he never had and he never would. But he just didn’t know what he felt, so how could he possible tell you?

It wasn’t anger and it wasn’t fear.

It wasn’t friendly and it wasn’t familial.

It wasn’t disgust and it wasn’t frustration.

It wasn’t hate and it wasn’t-

Oh.

He stared at the painting in front of him. The paint was chipped and the frame was a little crooked. But he thought those things made it even more beautiful. It was clear that the painting was a print and not authentic. But these “flaws” made it original.

The peeling blue that colored the sky told stories of how old the painting was. It confessed the sins it had witnessed having been moved from place to place. It revealed the homes it had been in and the people it had met.

The barely visible crack on the left side of the frame showed it’s perspective. The break expertly hidden behind extra layers of gold paint that was microscopically a different shade than the base. It presented a need to fit in, a desperate performance in attempt to seek approval. A flaw that no one would notice made public to the world simply because of its owners insecurity.

Without the flaws the painting was just an object. But with these little imperfections the painting became alive. The bumps and ridges moved with the shimmering water. The visible brush strokes showed that everything was in motion.

He stood and watched the story of the painting play out. Desperately trying to ignore you.

Because he knew that the second he looked at you all agreements would be forgotten.

♡4:21 pm

Love,

It’s funny how much those four letters represent.

It’s terrifying.

You’d thought you’d known love before, romantic love that is.

But you were wrong. You’d known attraction and appreciation. This was…a million different things all at once. It somehow managed to feel like the most complicated thing in the world and the simplest.

It wasn’t something you’d be able to explain. All you knew is that it was here and it was strong and it was all because of Druig.

Druig.

Shit you’d been staring.

He was looking at you with an expression that could only be described as quizzical. He seemed concerned but in a curious sort of way. He was observing you as though you were a complex puzzle that he had a limited amount of time to solve.

His brow was furrowed and his nose scrunched up a little bit. It was his “concentrated” face & you’d seen it a million times before. You always averted your gaze when you saw this expression form. You’d always thought it was because it annoyed you. But looking at him now, you realized it was because he looked incredibly adorable. He looked so good when he was super focused that it almost made you angry.

You liked so much about him. How had you not seen it before? You loved him! Why had you not done anything about it?

Oh.

You had forgotten briefly about one key factor.

He hated you.

So you had pushed those feelings down as far as possible. So far that you practically forgot that they were there.

But they remained. Waiting slowly, spreading like a virus. Changing your actions and thoughts. And yet you remained oblivious. You were poisoning your own mind. So much so that you truly believed you hated him.

But the virus had broken through now, and there was no stopping it. You had to do something. You had to say it now. Because if you didn’t do it right this second you feared you never would.

☆4:21pm

“Are you okay-”

“Shut up.”

You said dismissively.

Druig raised an eyebrow incredulously. God you were lucky he was in love with you. Because you tested his patients like no other.

“I know that I’m kinda a lot to handle. I mean…I know that i’m irresponsible and don’t listen to directions. I know that my stubbornness takes a toll on everything and I know that sometimes I’m too childish. I make an annoying amount of heist movie references and have the audacity to be confused when no one gets them. I act before thinking and sometimes I forget that laws exist. I hide behind my insecurities by pretending to be confident. And I haven’t been nice to you.”

Words tumbled out of your mouth. You stopped to take a breath, blinking your eyes rapidly.

“I’m sorry. You deserve to be treated so much better. You’re intelligent but not cocky about it, well unless you’re making fun of me which I secretly love. Your always stealing my books and writing in the margins. You think I haven’t noticed your annotations but I have. I love your little notes and observations. It’s a small glimpse into what goes on in that head of yours.”

He stared at you, mouth open slightly in shock.

“You’re sweet. I know you’re the one who brings me tea when I’m hungover. I know you left a flower on my desk when that idiot broke up with me back when we were in France.”

He began to smile, listening to you ramble had always been one of his favorite pass times. He wished he’d realized that sooner.

“Not a day goes by where I don’t think about the night you bailed me out of jail. You were so kind and understanding, God I don’t know why. I was a mess.”

You squeezed your eyes shut as you recounted the memory.

“I never answered your question. About why I was so upset…”

Druig held his breath.

“It was for you.”

“What?”

Druig asked confusidly. This was not the answer he had been expecting.

“The thing I stole from the Smithsonian. It was for you. I may have told a little lie…I did take the necklace! I mean, it was mine in the first place so I don’t know what the fuss is. But I didn’t go in for that. They had your journal. The leather one with green trim and gold accents. The one that you lost all those years ago in Egypt, remember? You were always bragging about the fact that it had been magically binded so that no one but you could open it. It was your favorite. I’ll never forget how devastated you were when it disappeared, it was horrible. Especially since I had something to do with it…”

You confessed, trailing off. Your eyes still shut, too nervous to look at him.

“So when I saw that they were showing it off, trying to market it as and ancient relic retrieved from the pyramid tombs I got pissed off. I thought that maybe if I stole it I could somehow give it to you, secretly. I know you hate me, and I know I acted like I did. But I never hated you, and as much as I pretended like I did there’s was always a part of me desperately trying to please you. So when my plan bombed my spirit broke a little. For some reason that mission had become a milestone for me. It was subconsciously my last hope for redemption. My last chance to prove myself to you. And I fucked it up, just like I always do.”

Your voice broke as you said the last few words.

“Jesus I’m not doing this very well. I’m just- fuck. I don’t know how to do this. You make me feel everything all at once and it’s terrifying. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before and it scares me. I’m new to this whole things so bare with me. I know you hate me, and I know that me saying this won’t change that. But fuck, I’ve gotta try.”

You opened your eyes and they immediately locked in place with his. He started breathing faster, his pupils were blown wide, and his cheeks were tinted pink from blushing.

“I’m so sorry Druig. But I’m in love with you. And there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.”

Was this happening? Is this real? Druig’s mind raced, this is everything he could ask for and more.

“I hate you so much for making me fall in love with you.”

His confused look returned. Yet the ghost of a smile remained.

“Okay. I’m done.”

You said definitively.

☆4:24pm

Christ he was not prepared for this. He’d rehearsed a million different versions of his proclamation. But now that the moment was here his mind went blank. And the things he could remember seemed ridiculous.

Honesty. That’s what had made your admission of love so special.

Okay, honest. I can do that. He thought to himself.

“Y/N…”

He began.

“I don’t know where to-”

SLAM!

Something smashed into your side, pushing you forcefully to the ground.

Druig snapped his full attention to the threat.

A lone straggler from the gang you two had just taken out. His leg was visibly broken and his head was bleeding. But his need for vengeance was crystal clear. He was running on adrenaline and heart ache.

Shit. He’d been in charge of double checking the perimeter before you left. But his attention had been elsewhere. He’s been so wrapped up in his unofficial mission of keeping you out of harms way that he must have skipped over a few bodies and simply assumed they were dead.

Druig felt rage course through him. And within seconds the man who had attacked you was under his control. Fallen to his knees with his hands behind his back, yet his head still held high. Determined to keep his power.

“Don’t.”

Was all Druig was able to muster in response to the mans actions. A witty comeback was the last thing on his mind as he ran over to you.

You were crumpled in a heap on the floor. Breathing shakily and clutching your side. He kneeled next to you and gently, but frantically, lifted your head. You smiled weakly, your eyes filled with tears. You were shaking as a result of attempting to mask your pain.

He maneuvered the two of you, so you lay with your head on his lap. His panicked state had yet to register what had hit you. As he focused his attention on stroking your hair and whispering to you that everything was going to be okay.

“Um Dru...”

You whispered and tilted your head down, trying to indicate your wound.

He glanced down and suddenly all emotion was wiped from his face. He simply stared at the gaping bloody wound. His mouth open in shock, tears gathering in his eyes awaiting the moment when they were allowed to fall.

“Hey, you’re fine you’re safe. Everything is gonna be okay.

But it wasn’t. The axe in your side guaranteed that.

God there was so much blood. He’d never seen this much before up close and in such a personal sense.

He was mumbling incoherently under his breath and attempting to stop the bleeding using a piece of fabric ripped from his shirt.

You reached out weakly. Trying to grab his hand, searching for any bit of comfort to help you through the pain.

He took your hand in his, squeezing tightly. But his attention still remained on the wound. Doing everything in his power to fix it. An impossible task of course. But when had ‘the impossible’ ever stopped him? Never.

“Druig please.”

You said, pain evident in your voice.

“Stop it. It won’t work. Please just look at me.”

You whispered. You sounded so scared and weak. That he couldn’t deny you.

So he did as he was told, and looked up.

♡4:30 pm

Twice.

That’s how many times you’d experience this sensation today. You’d never felt it before. And now you’d felt it twice.

First when you realized you were in love with Druig.

Never in your life had you felt such a thing. The feelings of love that had been rising steadily without your knowledge had exploded all at once. And something you had been almost completely oblivious about seconds earlier hit you like a truck. Love.

You just knew.

There was no other way to describe it. Instinct, devine intervention, who gives a shit.

The moment you felt it you knew what it was.

And you knew you never wanted it to go away.

The second time you felt it was when you hit the floor, Dejavu.

You felt the axe hit you, and the pain registered almost immediately. Within the few seconds it took you to fall you knew how deep the wound was. But you hadn’t even thought to consider your mortality.

But the second you hit the floor you knew.

You were going to die.

You weren’t a cynical person. In fact you liked to consider yourself an optimist. But the moment your body made contact with the dusty old wood you knew this would be where you died.

You weren’t ready to go. You felt no peace, no sense of calmness of clarity. Simply the disturbing realization that in a few moments you would be gone.

☆4:30 pm

“What..what do you want me to do?”

Druig asked, trying his very best to stay strong for you.

“Just hold me.”

You whispered, a single tear rolling down your cheek. One last drop of your soul releasing itself into the world.

“I just- I love you. And i’m sorry. I know you don’t love me back-”

“No that’s not-”

Druig attempted to interject.

“Just let me finish..I know you don’t love me back, and that’s okay. I understand. You don’t have to pretend. It’s okay. I just needed you to know that I’m in love with you. It was you Druig, it was always going to be you.”

You finished, locking eyes with him once again. He was shaking his head vehemently. You just gave him a very small understanding nod.

“Darling that’s not true. I love you, i’ve know for some time now. I don’t hate you, I could never hate you. I’m so sorry for not telling you sooner my love. I love you and I will never stop.”

He spoke, his words filled with desperation.

He had done it. He’d told you.

The circumstances were horrible and they weren’t going to get any better, but at least you knew.

At least you knew.

“Love?”

Druig questioned when you didn’t respond right away.

He took in your expression, your eyes were still open wide. But they had glazed over, leaving a ghostly appearance to your normally twinkling eyes.

You were getting weaker, right? That must be it. You were hurt, dying. But you were still there, you had to be.

He shook you. You didn’t respond. He shook you harder. Your head fell, dead weight causing your neck to stretch back.

You weren’t breathing.

His world stopped. You were gone. You hadn’t responded when you spoke to him. The last time he’d felt you move had been your nod to him. He’d assumed you were just tired, he wasn’t thinking straight.

He was plagued with the horrible realization that you were dead,

and you had died thinking he did not love you.

You had died whole heartedly believing that he hated you.

You’d died believing you were all alone in the world with that feeling.

He’d confessed. He’d told you everything and was about to tell you more. But he was just too late.

There was nothing he could do.

He could not continue. The pain he felt was too great.

At that moment he made a very rash decision. One that only makes sense if you’ve felt what he felt.

You were dead. And his love died along side you.

He could not go on without you. Not after this. Not after he was so close. He was convinced it was his fault. She was dead, and he could have stopped it.

He turned to stare at the man who had done this to you. He looked satisfied.

Druig looked around the room, his eyesight drawn to an object sitting a few feet away from his “prisoner”.

Druig looked at him, a plan forming. Revenge. His brow was scrunched, his concentrated face making an appearance.

“Stand up.”

The man stood.

“Walk over there.”

The man walked.

“Pick that up.”

The man picked up the object.

“Good.”

Druig looked down at you, you were so beautiful. Even in the worst of circumstances, even in death you were still the prettiest girl he’d ever seen.

He looked back up.

“Shoot me.”

Druig deadpanned.

The man raised the gun.

Druig looked over the mans shoulder. Behind him was the painting. The painting hung in all its glory, with chipped paint and a crooked frame. Beauty.

He took in the piece of art work. He allowed himself to get lost in the story. He let himself fall into the brush strokes and memorize the patterns.

He squeezed your hand and closed his eyes.

He tried to imagine the two of you existing in the painting. Together and happy. Floating happily along side the acrylics.

He nodded. Calmly. Understandingly. Sealing his fate with a single nod, just as you had. He felt peace. He was ready. If he could not be with you, he could not be.

“Goodbye my love, maybe in another life.”

Druig whispered.

The man pulled the trigger.

end.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:* 🪐☕️⏳🎞*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

I’m so sorry for this you guys.

This was so hard to write.

idk what to say?

This is sorta me coping through writing. I tried to make it beautiful. Sorry it’s so long 🤧

🕯~(Also! The picture of Barry at the very top is how Druig is imagining himself in the painting at the end! ) ಠ_ಠ

holyshitimsosadimgonnacryhimandhispaintingimdeadhelp

poor baby just wanted to be happy,,,someone take this man to an art museum.

Take care of yourselves my loves and please reach out if you need <3

xoxoxoxo,

allie🕊

(you get extra hugs n kisses cuz this was a hard one)

@waspswidows babe please pull up i need a hug 🤧

#druig x reader #druig #druig fic #druig angst #angsty allie >:(#druig oneshot #druig eternals #eternals #oh my goodness #literally i’m so sorry #YOU WANTED ANGST.#😞#i can’t tell if this is poorly written

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takamishinko · 4 years ago

Text

footprints and doubts

this is the longest piece we’ve written so far and it drained the living crap out of us :,D but hope u guys enjoy !

pronouns: gender neutral

warnings: nothing really other than jealousy, angst, and crying, self thought cheating

a/n: r/n is region name btw

________________________________________________________________

honestly you found it hard to believe that little ol’ you from r/n could befriend let alone become someone important to ajax. the great tartaglia, 11th of the fatui harbingers, his name itself could strike fear into anyone. yet here you were, standing next to him with your hands intertwined with his at the lantern rite festival. you would give the world to him if you could, you loved him so much. he was so different from your last significant other who had been unfaithful towards you.

‘you’re just too boring.’ they had told you apathetically. you frown thinking about it.

you felt ajax gave your hand a small tug, "hey y/n why don't we go over there? looks like chef mao is cooking up something good." he spoke with a cheery grin on his face.

you snap back into reality as you felt his hand pull you out of your thoughts. you gave him a terse nod and the two of you made your way to wanmin restaurant.

after waiting a while in line, the two of you were next. chef mao looked up and practically shat himself at the sight of the male next to you.

“hello y/n! i hope you’ve been enjoying the festival, " chef mao spoke nervously, his eyes gliding to the male next to you, “y...you too sir childe.” he sputtered out. right, ajax was the one who tried to destroy liyue not too long ago after all. you shook your head, right now you were with ajax, not childe.

"woah woah woah. calm down chef, you know that’s history now. besides, i’m just here to enjoy the festival with y/n." ajax assured, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

you gave the chef a slight smile and spoke,"don’t worry chef. i’m sure he doesn’t have plans other than being with me tonight." you teased.

the chef sighed in poorly concealed relief and returned to his usual self as he took your order. ajax ordered the specialty for today, the crystal shrimp. after a small wait, the two of you waved chef mao goodbye after he gave you two your food. the warm dish let out puffs of steam and glistened under all the light of the lanterns due to it's crystal clear skin, there were 4 in total, the wrapping for each was folded into the shape of a flower. they were so pretty, you almost felt bad for eating them.

sitting down on a nearby bench, the two of you enjoyed the crystal shrimp while making small talk. the crystal shrimps were delicious themselves but it felt better to enjoy them with someone you loved.

after finishing the food, you and ajax had a great time. you guys played a few rounds of theatre mechanics, ruijin was pleased at how skilled the two of you were and rewarded both of you with hefty prizes. upon bumping into zhongli, the three of you decided to enjoy some tea with him. after bidding farewell to the funeral consultant, the two of you released some xiao lanterns and watched as they floated into the night sky.

feeling a bit tired, the two of you then decided to relax and take a walk instead of participating in games. as you and your boyfriend were strolling around the harbour, something, or someone caught his gaze. you look over to where his eyes were trailing to.

oh.

a beautiful young lady dressed in a white dress with a cecilia tucked into her golden blonde hair and a puffy companion floating by her side waved at ajax. her smile brighter than the sun and her movement as graceful as the moon. her honey glazed eyes shone with familiarity and glee at the sight of him.

of course you recognized this girl. she was none other than the otherworldly traveler, lumine. she fought alongside the liyue qixing and even the adepti to defeat the great osial. the people of liyue spoke about her often, everyone knew how she had also earned the title of honorary knight in mondstadt and defeated one of the four winds despite her young age.

you were once again brought back into reality when ajax spoke, "hey babe ill be right back okay? i wanna catch up with lumine real quick."

you felt his hand leave yours, the warmth dissipated with it. you felt an uncomfortable feeling bubble up as you watched your boyfriend run to someone else, leaving you alone by yourself to stand in the sea of lanterns and people.

it didn't feel right.

you stayed in place with a dejected look for a while waiting for ajax to return but he was taking a while so you decided to go check what was going on with him.

"-but then teucer decided to do it anyway!” you hear ajax’s boyish voice ring out with amusement.

as the blond and the redhead laughed together. you couldn't help but think about the two looked enchanting with each other.

you shook your head and decided to make your presence known. "ajax-"

ajax perked up, "oh! babe sorry to keep you waiting let me introduce you. lumine this is my partner y/n!" ajax exclaimed with a cute grin.

you gave lumine a small wave and spoke with a polite smile, "it's a pleasure to meet you lumine."

"it’s nice to meet you too y/n.” lumine replied cheerfully.

now that you’ve got a better look at the blonde, she's so much more beautiful than you could have ever imagined.

her velvety blonde hair fell gracefully, her porcelain skin was practically glowing without a single visible blemish, her golden eyes shone with beauty that rivaled cor lapis. to wrap it up, her short stature was presented with grace and poise. all in all, everything about the blonde was nothing less than perfection.

everyone loved her and you could understand the reason behind it very well. gorgeous, kind, and righteous, the hero of every region everyone respected. you couldn’t help but wish you were like her instead of your boring self, without a vision, without any standing out achievements either…

you started to space out while the two started up a conversation again, thinking about the feelings you were currently having. why were you feeling like this?

"hey babe we should get going! it's getting late." the voice of your lover broke you out of your thinking.

you were overthinking a lot today huh. "oh. we probably should get going then."

"bye ajax! bye y/n! it was really nice meeting you." lumine said with a pearly smile gracing her features. she then walked off to find her floating companion who was near a food stall inhaling dish after dish of food.

wait.

ajax..? he wasn’t childe or tartaglia to her, but ajax. you didn't know how to feel upon hearing the real name of your boyfriend slip out of the blonde. you knew how secretive ajax could be when it came to his family and personal life so the fact that lumine knew his real name put a feeling of unease within you.

the way home was pretty quiet, you didn't want ajax to notice that you were feeling off. you felt so guilty for having these feelings about him and lumine but you couldn’t help it. your last relationship had practically trampled on your ability to trust others, you could never tell if someone was lying to you or being truthful. you contemplated telling him how you felt but you decided against it, you’ve never been great at expressing your feelings after all. however, after a while of him blabbing about random topics, you couldn’t curb your curiosity any longer and realized you wanted to know more about your lover's relationship between him and lumine.

after a while of peaceful silence, you let out a small breath, "hey ajax?"

“yes y/n?"

"who is lumine… to you?"

ajax perked up at the sound of the blonde's name, "lumine? she's a good friend and a formidable opponent of course. it's been a while since i’ve fought with someone who could keep up with me on the battlefield!" ajax spoke with enthusiasm.

you felt a twinge of pain shoot into your heart at the tone that your lover used when speaking about the blonde. did he speak like that when he was talking about you?

"oh… i see. she must be a very powerful person then." you replied with feigned glee.

ajax noticed that you were in low spirits, "why? is something wrong?" he questioned with slight worry.

"no! i'm alright. i was just curious because you two seemed… close." you lied. you weren't ok, but you didn't know how to tell him. probably because you didn't even know why you felt such-

envy

that was what you were feeling. not petty jealousy or sadness, you were envious. envious of lumine. her beauty, her strength, her personality, everything. the feeling consumed every inch of your body and dyed you green. your insecurities swallowed you up and spit you out, rendering you vulnerable against the little demons that poked at your thoughts.

when the two of you got home and freshened up, ajax practically passed out the second he lied in bed with you. on the other hand, you stayed wide awake, stuck thinking about the way lumine and ajax interacted. the smiles, the laughter, the fond looks they gave each other plagued your mind, rendering you unable to sleep. after a while of staring blankly at the ceiling, you groaned and carefully lifted the sheets to not wake your lover and got out of bed to make yourself a cup of tea. you used the tea leaves you bought from pops kai, the calming properties of the tea always helped you when you felt down.

"they're just friends, don't overthink it, just friends, just friends." you whispered to yourself, trying to give yourself a sense of reassurance. after finishing the tea you got back into bed, it was hard but you eventually fell asleep next to your lover.

next morning, you were woken by the sound of your boyfriend walking around in the living room doing something. it was only around 7am so you were wondering why up so early as he usually woke up at 8. you groggily walked out of the bedroom.

ajax noticed you and smiled fondly at the cute sight of you rubbing your eyes. "good morning babe, did i wake you up? sorry about that, i was just getting ready to go train."

"oh. by yourself?" somehow, you had a feeling of where this conversation was headed.

"no, with lumine, we made a deal yesterday to go to yaoguang shore today to fight some ruin guards and hunters for materials!" he chuckled.

lumine. lumine

the name echoed in your mind like a mantra. you were aware of his weekly spars with the blonde but today would be the second day he went out with her this week. a part of your heart told you to stop him, another part told you to let him go. in this internal battle, you chose the latter and let him go. after all, who were you to stop him? it's not like you could be the one to satisfy his thirst for battle, only someone like lumine could.

you were having a day off due to the lantern rite festival, but to be honest it's not like you needed the money. with the amount of money ajax had he could probably support you and your next 4 generations. with your spare day, you decided to clean up the house because it was a bit messy due to teucer playing around the day before.

while cleaning up you found a spare xiao lantern that teucer was supposed to release when he came over. since you had spare time you decided to set another lantern yourself, it would be a waste to not use it after all. as people say, during the lantern rites, put your wish into a lantern and set it into the sky for it to become true.

"i wish to stay with ajax, till death does us apart."

you only hoped he felt the same way about you.

you put the note in the xiao lantern and set it off into the sky, you watched with sentiment as it floated away towards the clear blue sky.

you had a hard time focusing on the task you were doing for the rest of your day so you decided to take your mind off things and go take a look around liyue harbour to see if there was anything worth checking out, or buying.

liyue harbour contained the usual, the fragrance of grilled tiger fish wafting from the stand next to where you would usually buy your groceries, the kids messing around near the boats, and you even met xiangling who tried to offer you her new recipe of jade parcels but you kindly refused.

after that you went to give the adorable little pharmacist, qiqi, a visit. she was under the cashier stand like usual, you gave her a little pat on the head and asked for the usual medicine you buy for ajax.

you then bumped into zhongli, who was also strolling around. the two of you chattered about the festival and other shenanigans before bidding each other farewell. the amount of history about liyue and its traditions the man was familiar with would never fail to surprise you.

there wasn’t really anything left for you to do in the harbour so you started to head back home. not far away from the liuli pavilion you saw a familiar redhead talking to the owner of mingxing jewelry with a shorter figure standing beside him.

upon closer inspection, you noticed it was ajax with someone else at a jewelry shop looking at the items. it was none other than lumine standing next to him. you watched as lumine picked out a piece of jewelry from the stand that would look so well on her. the gem glowed it’s colour under her smile and looked more fitting than ever. weren’t they supposed to be at yaoguang shore?

without second thought ajax bought the jewelry in lumines hand and put it in a gift bag with a look of tenderness. your heart dropped to the pits of your stomach, you felt as if the world was crashing down on you. your breathing quickened and your heart palpitated at alarming rates. every little insecurity that was planted in you had finally finished blooming. was this really going to happen to you a second time? was once not enough for the entertainment of the gods?

that was when he saw you, standing only a little bit away from him holding the items you purchased for him and the fresh groceries you were going to use to cook dinner for him.

ajax’s eyes widened in surprise upon seeing you, “y/n!? why are you he-” he was tense, you noticed, just like your ex-lover when they were caught.

you tried to regulate your breathing and spoke, “stop.” you managed to say, cutting off ajax before he could finish his sentence. he flinched at your dull tone.

“y/n! i know what you’re thinking but i promise we were just-” ajax hurriedly tries to explain.

“don’t. i think i've seen enough childe.” he frowned at the use of his moniker.

your lips trembled, water collecting at the bottom of your eyes. ‘don’t cry. don’t cry, don’t cry.’ you repeated in your head, you didn’t want to appear weak in front of the two. your ajax who you loved so much, who you cared for so much, who you were planning to spend the rest of your life with, is now buying jewelry for someone else after lying to you.

“i was foolish this entire time, of course. instead of someone like me, a visionless nobody you would choose her over me. you’re just like-” your voice cracked as you forced the words out of your tightened throat.

“y/n it’s not like that! please just let me explain!” ajax pleaded urgently. he hated that you were talking bad about yourself.

after gaining a smidge of composure you decided you couldn’t be near the two, “no need childe, i understand. now if you’ll excuse me, i'll be on my way.” you muttered and brushed past the two.

“wait y/n!-” he reached out to grab your arm before the blonde next to him stopped him.

lumine sighed and spoke up after staying silent, “let them go for now. leave them alone for a bit, they need some time to think. it’s understandable why someone would be upset if they saw their lover with someone else like this.” she comforted before patting him on the back.

“yeah. i guess you’re right...” ajax murmured with a crestfallen look. he regretted not communicating with you, otherwise this wouldn’t have happened. he should’ve cleared up any suspicions you had and reassured you. he knew about how you weren’t confident due to your last relationship. gods, he felt like he was worse than your dirtbag of an ex.

you walked towards your home slowly trying to process what just happened. your tears already ran dry and you didn’t think more were able to escape from your eyes. the fading sunset seemed so blurry yet peaceful. somehow, instead of walking home, you ended up near yaoguang shore which happened to be the spot you and ajax would go to often. his name brought bitter feelings back as you remember the events that just happened but you took a deep breath and sat on the sand across from the shore. you listened to the sound of the ocean, the waves dousing the sand it touched. you took notice of the starconches laying on the sand.

feelings of melancholy welled up inside you. these are ajax’s favourites. the blue shells reminded you of his eyes. his lovely eyes were the blue of the waves of the sea, they crashed into you and pulled you into them. you could spend all day swimming in the infinite hues until you drowned.

you buried your head onto your knees and let out a pained cry you’ve been holding in. here, where no one can find you, where no one can hear you. only the ocean will hear your troubles and worries, you hoped it could wash them away and you could forget about them forever. you sat there in peace by yourself for what felt like hours.

you sighed and decided that you should get going, but to where? you didn’t want to see ajax if he’s even going to be there at all. maybe you could crash at zhongli’s place…

just as you were about to leave you heard a familiar voice behind your back. “y/n!” it was the man you loved, ajax, sprinting to you with the same gift bag he was holding in his hands at mingxing jewelry.

you turned around to look at him. your hair was flowing in the wind with the sunset behind your back. to ajax it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen in his life.

“i knew you’d be here.” ajax spoke with relief.

you looked away from him not knowing how to feel right now about your “lover” and stayed silent.

“y/n. i swear it wasn’t what it looked like, i would never do that to you. lumine and i really don’t have anything going on in between us, i chose you as my partner and i plan on keeping it that way for the rest of my life. in fact,” ajax murmured while opening up the gift bag he was holding. it was a bracelet with a fine piece of noctilucous jade in the middle with cor lapis fragments decorating the border of the blue gem. the jewelry wafted with fragrances, the morning dew smell from a qingxin, the classical smell of the harbour from a silk flower and lastly the everlasting aroma of violet grass.

“do you like it? lumine and i picked it out for you at mingxing jewelry for our upcoming anniversary. i just wanted her opinion on what to choose for you. this was one of the most beautiful pieces that they had. i heard it took a super long time to make, oh! the jade in the middle will also make the bracelet glow in the dark! pretty cool huh?” ajax smiled as he lifted your wrist to put it on you.

at a loss of words, you lifted your head up at the male and gave him a soft smile, “thank you ajax… i love it, it’s perfect in every way possible.”

“just like you.” the redhead spoke fondly with a grin on his face while softly stroking your hair.

“oh shut up you flirt.” you tried to hide your smile as you both giggled on the beach with the sunset dripping behind you two.

after a while of being engulfed in ajax’s arms you spoke, “ajax, i want to apologize for jumping to conclusions about you and lumine. i..you know about how i find it hard to trust people sometimes but it was unfair for me to do that to you, i know you would never cheat on me.” you spoke, hugging him tighter as if he would leave if you get go.

“y/n. don’t you dare think for a second that i’ll leave you for someone else ok? you’re the only one in this world that i want and it’s staying that way. i don’t care if you’re visionless, or if you don’t have any achievements whatsoever. i still love you so so much.” ajax exclaimed as he buried his head into the crook of your neck.

you felt a certain warmth as your face flushed. how did you end up with someone as perfect as ajax. you lifted his face with your hands and pressed your lips against his. he deepens the kiss and your heart melts.

“thank you ajax. i’ll always be by your side too, no matter what happens. my love for you has no ends.” you speak with pure affection as you nuzzled your face into ajax’s soft yet firm chest.

ajax feels his face heat up and he quickly speaks, “c’mon now, let’s go home, i can’t wait to taste your cooking after running around all day today.”

the two of you walked together on the beach, hand in hand, leaving footprints and doubts in the sand.

________________________________________________________________

special msg from my dear editor: hey lol - @kamihara , my works wouldn’t be nearly as good if it weren’t for them so go give them a follow please :)!

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scarasimplysimping · 4 years ago

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Childe x Reader

Tartaglia with a yaksha s/o headcanons + scenario

Literally the epiphany of "all my homies hate him"

Madame Ping always gives you this look of disapproval when she sees you with him.

One time, Xiao accepted his invitation to a duel. He was intent on killing Childe. Thankfully, you were there to stop them.

Zhongli is probably the only supportive one. You both remind him of what he and Guizhong used to be.

Childe tries though. He really does. He wants to get along with them since you consider them your only family.

There is no bring your genocidal boyfriend to work day, though Childe has been begging you to make exemptions. He wants to 1v5 the adepti.

Constantly trying to fight you.

Only found out you were a yaksha after he tried to sink liyue.

Scenario

You were gone for 3 days after being sent on a journey to defeat the oceanid, expecting your lover to be happy and cheerful when you came back but it was the exact opposite.

"He's been like that since you left. Console him." Zhongli said.

You found him sitting on the staircase of the Golden house with a distant stare. You plop down next to him. "Hey, didn't you miss me?" You ask in a teasing tone.

Only now Childe notices you and gives you a sad smile. "Sure I did. There's no one else to bother when you're gone." He jokes, then adjusts his sitting position so that he may lie on your lap.

Something is bothering him. You can tell he's trying to hide it yet that never worked on you.

"Ajax." You say his name sternly. "What's bothering you?"

His surprised expression when you called him by his real name slowly turns soft. "We... we can't be together forever." He begins carefully.

Your eyebrows furrow, "Are you breaking up with me?"

Childe's eyes widen, "Archons. (Y/N), I'd never dream of that." He sighs, continuing even quieter. "I mean It's just that... well you're sort of immortal."

His eyes meet yours, as if asking approval to continue. You nod.

"I've been trying to find ways. I want to be powerful enough to match your lifespan so you'll never be alone. But each lead is a dead end." The ginger's eyes close, as if trying not to look at your expression as he shares with you his insecurities.

You feel your chest tighten. Of course he's gonna ponder about this part of your relationship. You expected it but hearing him say it out loud just makes it more painful.

"Hey, don't worry. We'll find a way to get through that. We'll be with each other til death, I promise." You reassure him, stroking his hair as comfort.

He chuckles, "You always know what to say, huh? I'm so thankful for you."

Once the sun set, you both head back to liyue harbor. Childe made a mental note to propose to you before he gets old.

What he didn't know, was that you had already found a way, the only way, to stay with him til death. You plan to kill yourself when he dies; having him in your life made you realize you can't live without him.

(A/N): Well... that was a quick 180.

#genshin x reader #childe #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #ajax #genshin headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin impact

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amethystroselilith · 4 years ago

Text

Intertwined Fates (Chilumi/Zhonglumi) - Chapter 1

Can be read in ao3 here

This chapter has a really small bit of mentioning ScaraMona (While I don’t ship them that much, I like how people write their little dynamic)

SUMMARY: After 5 years, Lumine had finally adjusted to her new life...

5 years…

5 years ago when she lost Zhongli

5 years ago when her world shattered

Lumine slowly opened her eyes as she felt an insistent poking on her cheek, vision blurry until her golden eyes met with wide magenta eyes.

“Qiqi, what’s wrong?” she asked sleepily, judging from her surroundings it’s still in the middle of the night.

“Can’t sleep.” she simply said, “Mama, play. Let’s play.” she pouted as she tried to shake her mother awake.

The blonde woman sighed, glancing at the digital clock on the bedside table, 2:30 am.

“Qiqi, it’s a bit too late for playtime, why don’t we sleep and play in the morning? Mama has no work, so we can play all you want.” Lumine smiled, however, regretted it when Qiqi’s eyes grew more excited.

“Then play now! More time to play with Qiqi.” the purple-haired girl awed, “Mama, please, Mamaaa…”

“Qiqi, please… Mama’s still a bit tired.” she sighed, guilt filling her immediately when sadness glazed over her daughter’s eyes.

Lumine was about to give in until she felt a pair of arms snaking around her waist, warmth on her back, and ginger hair tickling her face, “Hm? What’s happening here?” he tiredly asked though she can feel the smile on her face.

“Papa! Mama’s gonna play with Qiqi.” the young girl smiled.

5 years ago when Ajax started picking up the broken pieces…

“Isn’t it a bit late, princess?” Ajax chuckled as he sat up to pick up the child and settled her on his lap, “Mama’s still a bit tired though, and it is way past your bedtime and way too early for you to be up.”

Lumine rolled over to watch the most important people in her life.

2 months ago when she fully got herself back together to start a new chapter with Ajax together with their daughter.

She watched Ajax convince Qiqi why they should go back to sleep, words didn’t really register in Lumine’s brain for it had gone to wander on the memories from the past 5 years.

~~~

“Lumi, it’s time to eat,” Ajax said as he entered the room carrying a tray of food.

“Not hungry,” Lumine answered, unmoving and staring blankly at the wall.

The man sighed, “Lumi, please.” he said as he placed the tray on a nearby table before walking to the bed, “You haven’t eaten much earlier.”

“Just leave me alone,” she said, voice cracking just like her heart.

It was three days after the funeral and Lumine can barely take care of herself, her twin and Ajax had mostly been taking care of her, Aether being the one responsible for the formal papers related to Zhongli’s death as well as running their bakery, together with his brother in law, Xiao, who is also grieving for losing his only kin.

Lumine can’t help but admire how he could still function while she barely even have the energy to move from her current position. And that thought just made her feel worse.

“Lumi…” Ajax called quietly as he watches the familiar trembling of her shoulders.

And that’s how it usually goes, Ajax climbing next to her and hugging her tight, giving as well as seeking comfort as he quietly let the tears slide down his own eyes.

A month later, Lumine began taking care of herself again, telling herself that she needs to take proper care of her unborn daughter, their little Qiqi, the name was random, to be honest, she and Zhongli are trying to come up with a name by blurting out random names they can think of. The name came from Zhongli, it was a completely random name, but it was the one that grew on them as days passed by trying to name their daughter.

Qiqi came a bit earlier than they expected. Lumine was in their bakery, trying to fall back into a routine without mourning for her husband’s death. Aether and Xiao have provided a good support system at work, even Ajax stops by during his break from work.

Ajax, who had also picked himself together, even getting promoted in a powerful and influential company called Fatui, as one of the 11th Harbingers, the youngest who had been given the position.

Ajax, who stayed true to his word by being Lumine’s side, supporting her in every way he can.

Ajax, who freaked out so much when Lumine’s water broke, Aether had to slap him to get him to focus.

Welcoming Qiqi to the world, was life-changing for Lumine. She expected that to happen, but with all the tragedy the transpired, it just felt so different. It’s as if she was reborn with new hope and dreams.

So she worked hard for them. Worked hard until their bakery, Emergency Sweets, gained popularity. She won’t lie, she has a huge feeling Ajax pulled some strings, but customers don’t just stay for pretty words on an article, they stay for the twin’s speciality; Pie Mon, a fairy shaped dessert that would magically satisfy your sweet cravings.

Lumine’s life was bright again as she raised her daughter.

And so is Ajax’s…

He didn’t know why, and he certainly doesn’t even have to, but he never stopped himself going straight to the twins’ place where Aether had welcomed her sister back, every after work.

Never stopped himself helping Lumine raise Qiqi.

Never stopped falling in a domestic routine with Lumine.

Never stopped the feelings growing back in his chest.

Never stopped himself leaning into a kiss after a particular emotional dinner.

They had a fight months ago before they got together, they don’t even remember what it is nowadays but Ajax could remember how he never stopped deepening the kiss.

Or how he never stopped the night from going to be one of the most passionate night he ever had.

It was wrong, it felt all so wrong, but at the same time felt right.

For the first time in forever, Ajax felt like he had finally come home.

The day after that was a flurry of emotions for them, the guilt loomed on them. Both distancing themselves for a while until Ajax just had enough.

It felt fucked up, but Ajax can’t help but crave for that feeling again. The feeling of being in her arms, the feeling of sharing and receiving something so intimate, the feeling of being loved back by the woman who had always been so close yet feel so far.

Ajax was mad at himself for having feelings for his best friend’s wife. But what can he do? He’s tired of wanting something he can’t have, and now that it looks like he has a chance, it was hard to control the desperation in his heart.

It felt fucked up, but Ajax knows he can take the responsibility well. That he can give them the best life they could ever want, that he’ll protect them with all his life.

It felt fucked up, but Ajax selfishly gave in the thought.

It wasn’t all easy on Lumine’s side.

Her feelings are a mess, guilt from sleeping with someone else but Zhongli, but at the same time her feelings coming into terms that Ajax is also someone very special to her.

She had been feeling something different every time she sees Ajax. The same fluttery feeling she felt when she sees Zhongli before, the same feeling of longing when he’s gone.

Aether had felt something was off, he is her twin after all. He listens as Lumine poured her heart out, wiped the tears she shed, just like he always had, and always will.

And like the great brother he is, he lifted Lumine’s chin to look at him, he smiled, “Let your heart lead you to your happiness, Lumi. I’m sure Zhongli would want to see you happy.”

And so she did.

It took a bit of time but eventually, they fell back into their old domestic routine.

Ajax will never forget the night he had finally come back to the twins’ place.

“Papa, you’re back!”

~~~

Lumine snapped back to her senses when she felt Qiqi settling down beside her, yawning before her eyes closed. The blonde smiled before tucking her daughter properly under the blanket, fingers gently caressing the child’s face to lull her further to sleep. She stopped and watched Ajax settle back down himself.

Blue eyes met her golden ones, he smiled before taking Lumine’s hand and giving it a soft kiss, “Are you alright? You seem to be lost in thought.”

“Just thinking,” Lumine said, her finger moving to gently caress her lover’s cheek.

Ajax leaned into the touch, “Something wrong? You barely moved until Qiqi’s laid down and that took 30 minutes worth of story, you know.” he chuckled quietly.

Lumine smiled, “It’s nothing bad, just late night thoughts, I guess.”

He hummed, “And may I know what these thoughts are?”

Ajax may already have a feeling about it, there’s only one thing that makes her zone out like that.

Their relationship was received with different reactions, Aether threatening him if he hurt his sister he’s dead, their friends happy for them and demand he showers Lumine with all the happiness in the world… Xiao, however, didn’t take the news well, only leaving them with a cold glare about betraying Zhongli.

It upset Lumine, but she hides it from their friends, even if Ajax offered to have a talk with Xiao. They decided to give him some space first, let him slowly warm up to the idea that feelings are unpredictable and that his brother is not being replaced and will always have a place in their hearts.

“Just… I love you.”

Ajax froze, eyes widening at Lumine’s smile. It was unexpected, he thought Lumine will shrug it off as nothing and he’ll be left with anxious thoughts of Lumine being unhappy again.

He was the persistent one in pursuing their relationship, helping Lumine became comfortable with her feelings and accept the fact that she loves another man now.

And while Lumine had finally given up and freely chose to fall in love again, there’s still a bit of insecurity at the back of Ajax’s mind.

Even if they moved to a new home, spent passionate nights together, and Qiqi being a huge Papa’s girl, Ajax still can’t help but feel insecure about his standing in Lumine’s life, did he push her too much? Forced and chained her with him?

Those words rarely leave Lumine’s mouth, only answering it back when Ajax started it, but now that Lumine finally said it first, Ajax can’t help but feel his eyes water, nonetheless, he said it back, “I love you too.” with another kiss on her hand.

~~~

“What is she doing?” Lumine asked curiously as she helps Ajax clean the dishes by wiping the rinsed ones and placing them back on the rack.

Ajax hummed before looking at where Qiqi was. The little girl was crushing some of her animal crackers in a little bowl by the window.

“Oh, well, the other day we were watching the animal channel and it’s talking about birds, Qiqi seems fascinated by the finches it seems and wonders if they would like animal crackers. I’m assuming she’s trying to lure them.” Ajax chuckled.

Ever since moving together, Ajax had decided to start working from home, not just it’s more convenient, but he also thought it’ll help Lumine, who used to bring Qiqi with her to work. While her uncles don’t mind watching over her, their work environment isn’t the most ideal for children. Being separated from each other wasn’t as easy as she thought, well it’s harder on Lumine; the first day away was spent with her calling Ajax every hour to see how Qiqi is doing. Qiqi, on the other hand, is actually fine being left behind with Ajax, which still baffles her cause she could never leave her with a babysitter before. But then she remembers how Ajax is part of Qiqi’s life ever since she was born. He’s always been there enough for Qiqi to think she’s her father.

While Ajax certainly didn’t mind the title, instead, welcoming and taking the role seriously, Lumine wasn’t comfortable at first and had tried to subtly make Qiqi call him something else instead. Ajax respected her wishes, even helping her introduce Zhongli as her father.

Qiqi can’t quite grasp the concept yet, how can this man on the picture be her Papa when he’s not there to tell her stories about the Legendary Cocogoat and tuck her into bed and kiss her forehead?

Ajax and Lumine had explained in a sugarcoated way that her Papa is in a better place now but he’s always watching over her.

It still didn’t make sense to Qiqi, nor thought it was a big deal due to her age and would continue to call Ajax as her father.

Lumine was already considering researching about explaining life and death to Qiqi, but Ajax had expressed discomfort, explaining that a child’s innocence should be preserved. Lumine stated that Ajax won’t be able to protect Qiqi forever, but she did agree that it’s a bit early.

They gave up at one point since it’s starting to upset the child as well, claiming that Ajax doesn’t love her and her mama is mean even if she was just gently correcting her.

It broke both of their hearts, causing them to apologise and just let Qiqi be, besides, isn’t Ajax basically another father for her anyway? They’ll just save the talk again once she’s at the appropriate age.

“When do you think she’ll start asking for a pet?” Lumine chuckled.

“Hm, I mean it wouldn’t be bad getting her some finches, they’re actually low maintenance birds. We can buy a spacious cage in our garden and appropriate food for their diet.” Ajax considered, “I think it’s perfect for Qiqi since she’s more fond of observing than petting animals.”

Lumine hums, thinking about the time where Qiqi was fascinated by her Auntie Xiangling’s pet panda, Guoba. The little girl was in awe as her magenta eyes followed whatever Guoba is doing. Pretty much squealing in delight when Guoba does something silly, only daring to approach and pet the animal when Xiangling’s holding the animal to avoid any unexpected accidents.

“I think it will be good, I’ll ask Aether about it as well though,” Lumine said as she placed the last of the dishes in its proper place.

“I’m pretty sure he’ll suggest getting a dog instead.” Ajax laughed before drying his hands and pulling Lumine in his arms, nuzzling his face against her neck, “I mean, I’m not opposed to that idea as well.”

“Well, maybe we can ask Qiqi what she thinks, though I’m pretty sure she’ll choose the finches,” she said leaning back and sighing to his touch, he had always been a touchy lover, but Lumine doesn’t mind it one bit.

“I have that feeling as well.” Ajax chuckled.

“Anyway, don’t you have work to do?” Lumine asked as she turned around facing Ajax and poking his cheek, “I’m pretty sure I saw Scaramouche threatening you in your messages. Have you been slacking off your work, Mr Tartaglia?” she teased, the phrase coming from their college days where Ajax isn’t too keen on finishing an individual paper from a minor class.

Ajax rolled his eyes, “The midget is threatening me to go along with his story that the Tsaritsa made him stay overtime to work on a report about our branch in Inazuma, how he was so desperate to go home but his phone died and he couldn’t message his wife, instead of him actually being too focused on work he forgot their anniversary date.”

“Hm, I feel like Mona will know either way.” Lumi said as she thought about it, “She always does.”

“And she probably will still murder him even if I went along with it. His fault and not my problem.” Ajax shrugged.

“I’m pretty sure he’ll do the same when you’re in the same situation.” Lumine snickered.

Ajax gave her an offended look, “How dare you, I’ll never forget such an important date.”

Lumine raised an eyebrow, “Yeah? Well, when’s ours?”

“November 11, at 4:22 pm if you wanna be specific.” Ajax grinned at Lumine’s surprised face, “Told you, ojou-chan~” he used his special nickname for her before kissing the tip of her nose.

Lumine was about to retort back, but Qiqi had walked into the kitchen with her an assortment of toys, “Mama, Papa, play with Qiqi now?” she asked hopefully.

They both smiled warmly before untangling themselves from each other, “Papa will just make a call then I’ll join you and Mama, yeah?” he said as he knelt down to Qiqi’s height.

“Okay.” she smiled brightly before Ajax left to his office, she turned to her mother with a smile, “Mama, let’s go! Qiqi thought lots of games to play with Mama.”

Lumine smiled before letting her daughter drag her to her playroom. It’s been a while since Lumine had taken a couple of days off from their bakery, though she comes home at 6 pm every night, Qiqi would complain that she was gone for forever and missed so much playtime with her and while she loves her papa so much, she misses playing with her mama as well.

As Qiqi continues to talk about what they’ll do, Lumine can’t help but feel happily content with how her life is now.

~~~

White… Everything is all white...

He doesn’t exactly remember where he was, nor how he got there.

Hell, he doesn’t even know who he is.

Nor who the golden-haired girl is that sometimes appears in the distance.

All he knows is that if he finally reaches her,

He’ll be home.

#chilumi #zhonglumi #chilumi/zhonglumi #genshin impact

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antigoneawake · 4 years ago

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a n t i g o n e k e n n e d y g r a v e s

basics:

name: antigone kennedy graves. pronunciation: an·ti·guh·nee keh·nuh·dee grahvs. meaning: antigone- in place of a mother, unbending, against, compared to, like. kennedy- misshapen head or fierce headed. birthday: september 13th. age: nineteen. pronouns: they, she & her. sexuality: pansexual. siblings: archibald graves (triplet), ajax graves (triplet). parents: john graves & elaine graves nee kennedy. other family: darcy kennedy (grandmother). languages: english. current residence: the graves triplet’s london flat. hometown: boston, massachusetts; new york city, new york.

wizard fun:

hogwarts house: ravenclaw. year of graduation: 1979. occupation: intern at the department of mysteries. pet: none. tig does bring home many strays to care for, though. blood status: pureblood. species: witch. patronus: goldfish. it symbolizes prosperity. it brings good luck and good fortune. with its golden scales and colorful patterns, they are associated with much wealth which it will share to those it guides. the gold fish is naturally strong. a big fish for its kind, it swims powerfully to get to where it wants. it also symbolizes a dragon in ancient eastern and oriental traditions, with legend holding that it can transform into a water dragon. its transformative powers make it a sign of power and virility. they exist in naturally serene environments. to view the goldfish and koi is to be reverted into a meditative state. this brings about a feeling of calmness and peace to those that see this animal as a guide. it causes those that see it to be still as well, easing their worries and letting their minds work more freely. boggart: the memory of her parents bodies in their caskets. the idea of her brothers there with them. amortentia: candy apple. one of tig’s favorite treats that reminds her of the best memories of carnivals and festivals with her brothers back at home. lavender. lavender has always been tig’s favorite scent. her mother wore it in her perfume and tig also wears it. they used to grow small planters of lavender in their back yard too. sea salt. antigone loves the ocean. she always has. it is a life long dream of hers to live her life on the beach next to the ever present waves. wand type: 9″ willow wood, thunderbird tail feather, springy. willow is an uncommon wand wood with healing power, and I have noted that the ideal owner for a willow wand often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it. while many confident customers insist on trying a willow wand (attracted by their handsome appearance and well-founded reputation for enabling advanced, non-verbal magic) my willow wands have consistently selected those of greatest potential, rather than those who feel they have little to learn. It has always been a proverb in my family that he who has furthest to travel will go fastest with willow. thunderbird wands were powerful but difficult to master, and were good for transfiguration work. wands with thunderbird tail feather cores, like the birds the feathers are taken from, are able to sense danger and can cast curses on their own. wands with thunderbird tail feather cores have been known to fire curses pre-emptively when supernatural dangers are present. affiliation: neutral.

appearance:

height: 5′4″. hair color: strawberry blonde. eye color: teal. typical hair style: antigone wears her hair long. it has soft curls that almost look beach like in their waves. she often wears her hair up in a simple ponytail with a big bow. fashion style: tig wears sneakers, straight lined skirts or dresses, peter pan collars, and sweaters. she likes a soft palette of pastel colors. she occasionally wears overalls and high waisted shorts. her skates are always on her person. she loves floral patterns, simple colors, and plaids. [ fashion ] distinguishing features: tig has a look of otherness about her. her eyes are never quite focused on what is in front of her. she has a sprinkling of freckles on her face and a few scars on her arms from being caught in a rose bush as a kid.

personality:

positive traits: contemplative. amiable. open-minded. negative traits: unreliable. naive. nervous. theme song: something wild by lindsey stirling ft andrew mcmahon

headcanons:

tig doesn’t usually have pockets, actually. if she does, it’s because she’s wearing her overalls and if that’s the case, she has rocks and sticks in her pockets. she usually wears a dress or skirts that lack pockets, but she makes up for it by almost always having a pink knapsack with her. it was a gift from her brothers on one of their birthdays. in her bag, she almost always has a deck of tarot cards, a tiger’s eye and turquoise, bandages, dice, mints, bubblegum, an ink pen, a quill and ink pot, colored pencils, ribbons, sheet music, and there is always an assortment of sticks, leaves, and flower petals.

antigone has always been partial to the spring. she likes to watch the world bloom. tig has always had a special and loving connection with nature and it certainly feels the most powerful during the spring. the air is refreshing and breezing, and she will spend hours just laying in the grass on those days.

she’s a rainy day kind of girl. is there anything better in this life than being caught in a spring shower? antigone graves thinks not. rain is even more beautiful to her because it can make her divinations decidedly more clear. she will stand letting the raindrops in her face for hours and has been caught doing it before. as a younger girl, her grandmother would chide her for coming home soaking wet and catching colds from it.

biography:

TW: death, parental death

The Graves family is one of the most well-known and revered pureblooded families in America and has been so for generations. John and Elaine met through an arranged engagement. However, unlike many who found themselves in a similar position, the couple fell deeply in love. They took up residence in a large colonial house right outside Boston. John focused on climbing the political ladder at MACUSA while Elaine delved into a promising fashion career.

Their pregnancy came as a bit of a shock several years into their marriage. That is, to everyone but John’s mother, a well-known seer who had long said they would have a rare miracle arriving. While they hadn’t planned it, they were both very pleased to begin a family. The surprises continued when they were told that they would be having triplets. Elaine opted to take a step away from the world of fashion so that John might continue his work in Congress. His career was at a crossroads that could not be put on hold. In fact, the choices he made during this time would change the course of his entire family.

The triplets were born just as the Massachusetts leaves had begun to change color and fall. Autumn welcomed them to the world. Antigone was born the middle of the three. A brother on either side and all born just before midnight.

Their childhood was one filled with incredible privilege and opportunities. The triplets were very well educated. Even before they started school at the Salem Institute for Witches, they were well versed in both general education and magical theories. From the beginning, Antigone showed a particular proclivity towards divinations, herbology, and care of magical creatures. Her grandmother was happy to groom her seeing abilities. She always had an innate curiosity. Her wonder for the world often drove her to study anything that she could care for, whether it be flora or fauna. No one could deny that she had a desire to care for things. A trait that was always praised and encouraged by her family.

It was in the triplet’s third year that rumors began to swirl about her father’s political dealings. He had obviously been angling to become President for some time. However, his staunch belief in pureblood supremacy and ties to controversial movements left the public torn in opinion of him. Antigone struggled to believe that her father, one of the most loving and kind men she knew, could ever be how these people described him. They even portrayed her mother as some sort of icy woman. That’s how she knew it all to be untrue. Her father even publicly stepped back from his more controversial views, appeasing most.

What she thought of the rumors would cease to matter as they ended their fourth year of school. An owl came to their headmistress in the dead of night. John and Elaine Graves had both been found dead in their Boston home. An angry citizen who disagreed with his views was the final word, but Antigone certainly didn’t believe it. It didn’t feel right, and all seers knew to trust their instincts above everything. There were too many signs that indicated it was not any wizard. It had to have been a hitwizard, although there was no telling which side ended up hiring them.

While their mother had no siblings or much family to speak of, John had a previously estranged sister in Europe who agreed to take in the now orphaned triplets. It was a large paradigm shift for Antigone and her brothers, who had always been taught that halfbloods and purebloods who did not remain so were dangerous to their way of life. Their father had not said more than a few sentences on his sister for the entirety of their lives. Frankly, Antigone forgot that she had an aunt more often than not. For the woman to show such open kindness and hospitality has her questioning everything that she’d ever been taught growing up.

Moving to a new country and beginning school in an entirely new place still feels like the carpet was pulled out from under her. However, Antigone realized her potential for change here. The last thing she wanted was to end up like her father and mother. Perhaps there was more she could learn from being more open-minded. That being said, she is realizing that there is more to learn and unlearn than she ever realized before and at times, it was all impossible to keep up with.

Hogwarts held its own set of challenges. The curriculum was different, there were people who had known each other for a lifetime that she’d barely remember, Antigone never knew who she could trust and who she couldn’t. What’s more, the world outside was storming. There was a brewing war that they had all been thrust into, and she had no idea where to stand. What she did know was that the images in the leaves told her horrible stories of the future. Stories that terrified her.

Graduation came before she knew it. With her father’s name in politics and her grandmother’s reputation as a seer, Antigone was offered several jobs off the bat. Finally, she decided to take on an internship in the Department of Mysteries as it felt like where she was most needed and useful. Working inside a government that she barely understands in a job that is nearly impossible to explain is a trial in and of itself. Luckily, it does the job to distract her from everything which wants to pull her towards either side of the conflict surrounding her.

#ahintro #;about #;biography #;tig #;inspo

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antigoneaway · 4 years ago

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__________________________antigone kennedy graves.

age & birthday. sixteen, september 13.

sign. virgo.

house & year. ravenclaw, fifth year.

blood status. pureblood.

character pronouns. she, her. they. them.

sexuality. unknown.

siblings. archibald graves, ajax graves.

other relations. darcy kennedy - grandmother. john graves - father. elaine graves - mother. desiree caruso - aunt. giuseppe caruso - uncle. amabella caruso - cousin.

clubs. care of magical creatures club, gobstones club, herbology club, rat race club, wizard card collector club.

favorite classes. divinations, transfigurations, ancient runes.

least favorite classes. potions.

height. 5′4″

hair color. strawberry blonde.

eye color. teal.

hair style. antigone wears her hair long. it has soft curls that almost look beach like in their waves. she often wears her hair up in a simple ponytail with a big bow. occasionally, she will braid it in pigtails.

fashion style. tig wears sneakers, straight lined skirts or dresses, peter pan collars, and sweaters. she likes a soft palette of pastel colors. she wears overalls and high waisted shorts often and her skates are always on her person. she loves floral patterns and plaids. [ fashion moodboard ]

distinguishing features. tig has a look of otherness about her. her eyes are never quite focused on what is in front of her. she has a sprinkling of freckles on her face and a few scars on her arms from being caught in a rose bush as a kid.

______________________________wand.

9″ willow wood, thunderbird tail feather, springy.

Willow is an uncommon wand wood with healing power, and I have noted that the ideal owner for a willow wand often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it. While many confident customers insist on trying a willow wand (attracted by their handsome appearance and well-founded reputation for enabling advanced, non-verbal magic) my willow wands have consistently selected those of greatest potential, rather than those who feel they have little to learn. It has always been a proverb in my family that he who has furthest to travel will go fastest with willow.

Thunderbird wands were powerful but difficult to master, and were good for transfiguration work. Wands with Thunderbird tail feather cores, like the birds the feathers are taken from, are able to sense danger and can cast curses on their own. Wands with Thunderbird tail feather cores have been known to fire curses pre-emptively when supernatural dangers are present.

______________________________pets.

Antigone feeds many strays, but none technically belong to her.

______________________________amortentia.

candy apple.

one of tig’s favorite treats that reminds her of the best memories of carnivals and festivals with her brothers back at home.

lavender.

lavender has always been tig’s favorite scent. her mother wore it in her perfume and tig also wears it. they used to grow small planters of lavender in their back yard too.

sea salt.

antigone loves the ocean. she always has. it is a life long dream of hers to live her life on the beach next to the ever present waves.

______________________________boggart.

the memory of her parents bodies in their caskets. the idea of her brothers there with them.

______________________________patronus.

goldfish.

it symbolizes prosperity. It brings good luck and good fortune. With its golden scales and colorful patterns, they are associated with much wealth which it will share to those it guides. the gold fish is naturally strong. A big fish for its kind, it swims powerfully to get to where it wants. It also symbolizes a dragon in ancient eastern and oriental traditions, with legend holding that it can transform into a water dragon. Its transformative powers make it a sign of power and virility. they exist in naturally serene environments. To view the Goldfish and Koi is to be reverted into a meditative state. This brings about a feeling of calmness and peace to those that see this animal as a guide. It causes those that see it to be still as well, easing their worries and letting their minds work more freely.

______________________________biography.

tw: death, parental death

Their pregnancy came as a bit of a shock several years into their marriage. While they hadn’t planned it, they were both very pleased to begin a family. The surprises continued when they were told that they would be having triplets. Elaine opted to take a step away from the world of fashion so that John might continue his work in Congress. His career was at a crossroads that could not be put on hold. In fact the choices he made during this time would change the course of his entire family.

Their childhood was one filled with incredible privilege and opportunities. The triplets were very well educated. Even before they started school at the Salem Institute for Witches, they were well versed in both general education and magical theories. From the beginning, Antigone showed a particular proclivity towards divinations, herbology, and care of magical creatures. She always had an innate curiosity. Her wonder for the world often drove her to study anything that she could care for, whether it be flora or fauna. No one could deny that she had a desire to care for things. A trait that was always praised and encouraged by her family.

It was in the triplet’s third year that rumors began to swirl about her father’s political dealings. He had obviously been angling to become President for some time. However, his staunch belief in pureblood supremacy and ties to controversial movements left the public torn in opinion of him. Antigone struggled to believe that her father, one of the most loving and kind men she knew, could ever be how these people described him. They even portrayed her mother as some sort of icy woman. That’s how she knew it all to be untrue. Her father even stepped back from his more controversial views, appeasing most.

What she thought of the rumors would cease to matter as they ended their fourth year of school. An owl came to their headmistress in the dead of night. John and Elaine Graves had both been found dead in their Boston home. An angry citizen who disagreed with his views was the final word, but Antigone certainly didn’t believe it. There were too many signs that indicated it was not any wizard. It had to have been a hitwizard, although there was no telling which side ended up hiring them.

While their mother had no siblings, John had a previously estranged sister in Europe who agreed to take in the now orphaned triplets. It was a large paradigm shift for Antigone and her brothers, who had always been taught that halfbloods and purebloods who did not remain so were dangerous to their way of life. Their father had not said more than a few sentences on his sister for the entirety of their lives. Frankly, Antigone forgot that she had an aunt more often than not. For the woman to show such open kindness and hospitality has her questioning everything that she’d ever been taught growing up.

Moving to a new country and beginning school in an entirely new place still feels like the carpet was pulled out from under her. However, Antigone has realized her potential for change here. The last thing she wanted was to end up like her father and mother. Perhaps there was more she could learn from being more open-minded. That being said, she is realizing that there is more to learn and unlearn than she ever realized before.

#abintro #;intro #;about #;bio #;biography #;tig #abtask #abtask011 #;task #;task011

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thelimeonade · 6 years ago

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The Happy OC Tag!

Thank you so much to my latest mutual @depressionbeanbag for tagging me in this!!!

Guide: list three things that make your oc(s) happy!

My characters from Extinct Galactic have very complicated personalities when it comes to happiness so lemme just take a moment lmao

Ajax Power:

Annoying Elijah

Grape soda

Anything dangerous and reckless lol

Elijah Control:

Fantasizing about ways to kill Ajax

Reading

Tea (both the drink and the drama)

Wisher Power:

Flying above the city at first light

Teaching kids swordsplay

Painting

Aximus Power:

Tinkering

Annoying Wisher to see which of them is the strongest

Smoking

Amun Tutankh:

Cheetos... lots of Cheetos

Hoodies

Sunlight

Frontress Pulse

Sarcasm and shitty puns

Cheap production TV shows

Memes

Xerzie Vaxt:

His scythe

Reading rumors and stereotypes about him (because knowing what people think of you is hialrious to him somehow and doesn’t make him feel insecure. Xerzie is smart. Be like Xerzie.)

Wisher

That’s pretty much it!!!

I tag @thescribesloft @atbwrites @mediocre-prose and @power-of-ages-writeblr

#thelimeonade #Extinct Galactic #ocs #oc #happy oc tag game #writing #writeblr #writers #writer

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marsgod · 2 years ago

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hi! Can I get a genshin, male preferably ,matchup?

I’m a bisexual trans male about 5’3. I have medium size brown fluffy hair with a purple streak in my messy bangs. I’m pretty skinny but despite that I’m ridiculously strong

I am a mediator and Taurus I usually try to please others and I’m a bit oblivious on the outside but on the inside I’m actually very aware of peoples emotions. I’m really shy at first meeting but when I get closer to people I’m more open. I’m very kind and a bit sensitive. I like music, I’m a skateboarder as well as a dancer and artist! I don’t like being ignored or when my friends/ s/o aren’t around me for a long time. I make a lot of dirty jokes with my friends and my love language is physical touch and quality time. I’m a hopeless romantic, I’m very passionate about my interests and I tend to make jokes degrading myself with my insecurities

I don’t have any specific personality traits that I like, but someone who’s loyal and maybe hard working is nice

╰┈➤ I’d match you with… Tartaglia!

Ajax is also super aware of others’ emotions, he kinda has to be,

it’s probably because you’re shy/quiet that he wants to get close to you, and adores how he knows a different “you” than others do!

won’t be ignoring you, ever, the only time you can catch him ignoring you is if you’re doing something else and he needs to tell someone how awesome you are

physical touch and gift giving are his love languages, mostly physical touch tho<33

if you’re ridiculously strong then you won’t mind wrestling, would you?

loves your passion towards anything, thinks it’s sweet

gets offended for you if you insult yourself, “tf did you just say you, love of my life🤨🤨”

the type of guy to have a power point presentation on hand on why he loves you

doesn’t know how to skateboard, but picks it up rather quickly if you teach him

savor watching him eat dirt for the little time you can<;33

Can dance, or make the vague motions of dancing at least? but, again, doesn’t mind learning if you teach him

“Do you think Teucer would enjoy his own skateboard? Though I supposed there’s not a lot places to skate at Snezhnaya”

#[⭐️]count our lucky stars![⭐️]#{..no identity found..}#genshin matchups

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kyle86curd · 3 years ago

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Character analysis sula peace - cliffs notes , sula summary and study guide supersummary

Critical Analysis of Toni Morrison's Sula - GetSetNotes , sula summary gradesaver

"Sula" Critical Overview - Lehigh University Scalar. Critical Literary Analysis The novel that I read is called Sula written by Toni Morrison. This novel is about the lives of two women named Sula Peace,. She is insecure in her relationship with her mother for she was a daughter with a distant mother and incomprehensible father. Hannah is a sensuous woman who seeks the company of all the men in town; Sula disapproves of her mothers behavior and views her with a detached sense of alienation. Analysis of Toni Morrisons Sula Literary Theory and. What gives Voice of Color its weight among literary theorists is the logical notion that those who have experienced socially constructed racial oppression have learned discrimination through its very oppression and are therefore qualified to speak of such acquisitions. He thinks back to long ago, when a young girl with a tadpole shaped mark (whom we know to be Sula) ran into his shack. Sula Summary and Study Guide. Thanks for exploring this SuperSummary Study Guide of Sula by Toni Morrison. A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality study guides that feature detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, quotes, and essay topics. Sula, written by Nobel Prize-winning author Toni. Sula and Nel seem to have entirely different views on conformity with rules and societal norms. Juxtaposed against each other, these two cultures often compete against each other, particularly within the individual who is torn between the two, or at least must function between both worlds. Ajax leaves, however, when Sula shows signs of becoming committed. After a short courtship, she marries Wiley Wright, a seaman and cousin who is absent for long periods of time due to his occupation as a seaman on the Great Lakes.

Critical Analysis for Sula by Toni Morrison - Owlcation

Character Analysis Sula Peace - Cliffs Notes , take the summary quick quiz

When Sula returns to Medallion after 10 years absence, robins and other birds overwhelm the town. Another resident of the Bottom in the early 1920s is Sula Peace, a girl with a strange birthmark, shaped like a stemmed rose, on her face. Embodying freedom, adventure, curiosity, unpredictability, passion, and danger, Sula takes little from others and gives even less. Critical Analysis of Toni Morrison's Sula - GetSetNotes. Sula Full Book Summary SparkNotes. The Bottom is a mostly black community in Ohio, situated in the hills above the mostly white, wealthier community of Medallion. The Bottom first became a community when a master gave it to his former slave. This "gift" was in fact a trick the master gave the former slave a poor stretch of hilly land, convincing the slave the land was worthwhile. Chickens death is accompanied by a few other deaths of major characters. The narrator says that she becomes like an insect clinging to a wall to avoid the inevitable plummet to the bottom. His own mother is struck mute by his gruesome appearance for seven hours. Analysis of "Sula" by Toni Morrison Free Essay Example. In addition, they were barred from entering white establishments down in the valley of Medallion, as well as denied decent jobs and wages. Like the nightshade that flourishes in the Bottom, Nels awareness is both devastating and healing. Eva is a survivor and is never afraid to act or to speak her mind. Like Milkman Dead at the end of Song of Solomon, Son leaps into mythic possibility; like Brer Rabbit, Son, the black man, is a figure with the power to survive. Having trouble understanding Sula? Here's an in-depth analysis of the most important parts, in an easy-to-understand format. By Toni Morrison. Also, she questions to what extent mothers will go to protect their children from a harsh world, and whether or not these maternal instincts ultimately are productive or harmful. But I would like to presume that it must have been harder for Nel because she did not have the boldness that Sula showed off even at their almost-teenage years. Nel visits with Eva who accuses her of Chicken Littles death and tells her that she and Sula were the same. References REDDY, P. S. A Critical Analysis of Sula by Toni Morrison.

Sula 1937 Summary & Analysis LitCharts

What I found surprising was that Sula watched her mother die in a fire, but we never hear of any grief on Sulas part. Their house also serves as a home for three informally adopted boys and a steady stream of boarders. In the hospital where Shadrack is treated after returning shell-shocked from World War I, the male nurse is very unsympathetic to Shadracks condition and insists that he feed himself. As Sula and Nel grow up, they remain close. Sula Peace - CliffsNotes. Embodying freedom, adventure, curiosity, unpredictability, passion, and danger, Sula takes little from others and gives even less. She is not ruthless;. Analysis of Toni Morrison's Sula - Literary Theory and Criticism. Love and Sexuality. Suffering and Community Identity. Women, Motherhood, and Gender Roles. Signs, Names, and Interpretation. Summary. Analysis. It has been ten years since Sula last saw Nel. Sula has just returned to Medallion, and for some reason, shes accompanied by a plague of robins. Sula is dressed like a movie star, attracting the stares of the old men who sit on their.

Sula, Morrison's second novel, focuses on a young black girl named Sula, who matures into a strong and determined woman in the face of adversity and the. When the one-legged Eva jumps from the second story of her house in order to save Hannah from burning, Sula makes no attempt to help either her mother or her grandmother. Nel has a brief relationship with a bartender at a hotel in Medallion, but the tryst does not develop into anything lasting. "New Dimensions of Spirituality A Biracial and Bicultural Reading of the Novels of Toni Morrison. Hannah is Evas oldest child and Sulas mother. In a bitterly ironic twist, the whites take over the hillside again when they want suburban houses that will catch the breeze. Their hatred in part rests upon Sula's interracial relationships, but is crystallized when Sula has an affair with Nel's husband, Jude, who subsequently abandons Nel. Nel realizes that she was complicit in his death and that she enjoyed watching him fall. Sula is a novel by Toni Morrison that was first published in 1973. Summary Read our full plot summary and analysis of Sula , scene by scene break-downs, and more. At twenty-nine she knew it would be no other way for her, but she had not counted on the footsteps on the porch, and the beautiful black face that stared at her through the blue-glass window. Shame is attributed by the weak-hearted to those who do not feel shame. Nel finds her attractive and warm, yet the behavior between Rochelle and Helene is decidedly cool. Helene, through her insistence on perfection and on the importance of appearances, causes her daughter to feel inadequate and insecure. Full Book Summary - Sula - SparkNotes. He is a seaman and he is gone for long lengths of time. Sula Study Guide SparkNotes.

Evas behavior toward Plum represents the extent of a mothers love. She does not need the traditional markerswife, mother, loverto define herself. Toni Morrison. London Macmillan, 1995. [Categories Possible Tags Postmodernism, Psychoanalysis]. Circling Meaning. Sula by Toni Morrison Plot Summary LitCharts. Rather than moving beyond her loss, Nel chooses to try to freeze her life and to cling to the gray remains of the part of her life that has passed. In Williams' play, Serafina delle Rose, an Italian-American woman, mourns for the recent death of her husband, Rosario, who, Serafina's gossipy and cruel neighbors claim, was having an extramarital affair before his death. Reverend Deal is the religious and moral voice in Bottom. Sula, the female protagonist of Morrisons novel, encounters institutionalized racism on the outside, particularly during the time she was away from home and trying to make a life traveling around and associating with primarily white communities. Critical Analysis for Sula by Toni Morrison - Owlcation.

Twin brothers Deacon and Steward, the towns elders, are deeply committed to keeping Ruby as pristine and trouble-free as possible. Cecile rescues Helene from her mother Rochelles brothel when Helene is a little girl. The residents of the Bottom also heavily rely on storytelling to share and pass down wisdom, as well as create a sense of community together. Shadrack understands the permanence of death and the destructive power human beings can render. Analysis of Sula by Toni Morrison - 1150 Words 123 Help Me. Character types can also embody certain folk practices. Sula is the second novel of the Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison penned in 1973 which revolves mostly on the lives of Sula Peace and. In varying degrees, they accept Evas murder of her drug-addict son, Plum, and Hannahs seduction of their husbands, one after another. Sula by Toni Morrison - Plot Structure Analysis - TheBestNotes. Son has a homethe completely black town of Eloeand there he abides by the ideas of respectability held by his father and his Aunt Rosa. Carabi, Angels, "Toni Morrison," in Belles Lettres A Review of Books by Women, Spring 1995, p. 40. The first instance that Eva finds out of sync is a question of Hannah. Book Summary. Just after the end of World War I, Shadrack, a black, shell-shocked veteran, is released from the military hospital where he is being treated for battle stress. Alone and disoriented, Shadrack drifts back to his home in the Bottom, where he becomes known for his eccentricity and for creating National Suicide Day, January 3, a day once a year on which. And, according to her, wedding meant death when seen in a dream and red doomed fire. The girls also come to share a dark secret when they participate in the accidental death of a young boy named Chicken Little. Paradise is a significant addition to Morrisons body of work. The next day the sheriff reads his discharge papers from the army and arranges for someone to drop him off in Medallion.

On the other hand, she nearly kills herself jumping out a window in an attempt to quench the flames that ultimately kill her other child Hannah. The girls come from two completely different homes. Morrison deliberately disorients the reader as she delves into the interior life of slavery, creating an experience similar to that of slavery, as the narrative breaks apart, shifts, and confounds. Eva does these things out of love for her children. Neither Sula nor Nel tell anybody about Chicken Littles death because they are frightened of the ramifications. The book narrates the story of a small black community in Ohio, which takes place after World War I. Sula and Nel are the main characters of the novel, and, by depicting their lives, the author describes racial and gender relationships in postwar segregated America of the twentieth century. Sula 1922 Summary and Analysis GradeSaver. The occurrence of three strange events defines this chapter. Sula is the second novel of the Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison penned in 1973 which revolves mostly on the lives of Sula Peace and her best friend, Nel Wright, as they thread their way through this crazy little thing called life. After a few years, her marriage with Jude becomes oppressive and burdensome. Regarding Sula in its entirety, the story suggests a positive way of freeing our fettered minds from the oppressive tentacles of a past which,. She still needs to define Sula as the bottom so that she can remain superior. Sula Analysis Shmoop.

Sula is gone now, and now Nel cannot get a chance to tell Sula that she forgives her for what she has done to her. It would be only natural, human nature, it seems, for people to sympathize with a victim and rejoice at the creation of a human life. Analysis of Sula by Toni Morrison Toni Morrison wrote a touching story of two childhood friends who test the bonds of friendship and love. Throughout the story there are many themes that implore the reader to look more in depth at their meanings and consequences. The main theme throughout the book is that of friendship. Irene is the owner of Irenes House of Cosmetology. Sula confronts issues of loyalty, family, assimilation, innocence, gender, and sexuality, but is at its heart an examination of the priorities. Something Other Than a Family Quarrel The Beautiful Boys in Morrisons Sula, African American Review 37, no. Sula Analysis. She is rebellious, and demands, like Beloved, nothing less than a resurrection or a willed rebirth. Sula literary analysis essay English homework help.

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clodiuspulcher · 7 years ago

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Can I ask what draws you to Agamemnon? He's often kind of a difficult figure to grapple with. Sincere question btw, not meant to sound mean I swear :)

NO NO this isn’t mean at all it’s uh. yeah I know it’s an unpopular Take / Opinion and I really do … care deeply about Agamemnon as a character, so thanks for giving me a chance to explain! it’s complicated, he’s complicated… This is gonna get long

I: APPEARANCE Let’s first put the shallow aspects on the table: he’s big, he’s powerful, he’s My Type (physically), I’m gay. This never comes through in film adaptations (although you know what? 1962 Electra Agamemnon comes close, although he’s overshadowed by the hot Aegisthus) but look at how he’s described in the Iliad: He’s compared to 3 gods, canonically Agamemnon is the most handsome man Priam’s EVER seen in his like one million years of life (a list of men which includes Aeneas , Hector, etc). (this post). When Priam says he’s “Every inch a king”, baby, you know what that means-Anyway , @kashuan‘s art is VERY good for conveying how I imagine Agamemnon based on these descriptions. and he’s drawn like exactly my type there. It’s a lot to reckon with.He’s big. He has big arms and big thighs and could kill me if he wanted and he’s powerful and his aristeia is badass and i’m gay. thanks. II: PERSONALITY Now this part is. more about Agamemnon’s character. first, Agamemnon in the Iliad is in fact deeply flawed- he’s imperious and arrogant and shortsighted and short-tempered, he’s stubborn and selfish and ALL OF THE THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID HE IS but there’s also a complexity to his character that tends to get flattened - I think because Agamemnon’s at his worst in book 1, people adhere to this AWFUL first impression and don’t bother to look beneath the surface / take the rest of his behavior / his character into account / use this as the baseline of their understanding, but there IS MUCH MORE to him than that behavior even in the Iliad itself, as detailed in THIS POST. He’s a powerful warrior in his own right, and his failings reflect both the internal flaws of his character and the weight of his responsibilities; we see his concern for his men, for the army, the people, in books 4 and 10 (when he can’t sleep because of his anxiety about his men, about Hector). He DOES however, learn and become better, he grows, he’s dynamic: he and Achilles finally make up (book 19! book 23! They’re good now!) and the Odyssey also ends with their ghosts talking as friends.

(Side note I wonder how this works out when Agamemnon’s son kills Achilles’s son but… that’s for another day).

There’s complexity in Agamemnon’s characterization in the tragedies as well, each tragedian has a different portrait of Agamemnon but he’s never one-dimensional.Euripides’ Hecuba has Agamemnon as concerned about his image and his reputation, anxious (and almost insecure) about his authority, but also concerned with justice and the rule of law, even towards one’s enemies. Sophocles’ Ajax portrays an imperious, proud, stubborn Agamemnon who refuses to realize he’s in the wrong but is able to be convinced by the council of Odysseus and eventually, again, comes to an understanding. Seneca’s Trojan Women shows Agamemnon as a Stoic voice of Reason, urging Pyrrhus not to be too violent/hubristic in their victory, and I love both the presentation of Agamemnon as a tired old man wanting to go home and the sort of man who gets into arguments with teenagers about war crimes. As usual, Seneca excels at this subtlety of characterization, this is like the epitome of the Dichotomy of Agamemnon, sympathetic and infuriating, a good leader and a stubborn, proud man, stoic and short-tempered, as present in the Iliad, is here too, and I love it , and him. Seneca’s Agamemnon almost reverses this (HE REALLY SAYS “What can a victor fear”) but I still love that play, and there’s something to be said for the characterization of Agamemnon as someone who learned ABSOLUTELY nothing from victory.

Overall, it’s true that we get, mainly, a portrait of a hard, ruthless, powerful, embittered man- remember how he destroys that one guy Menelaus wanted to save in the Iliad - but he has a sort of “aggressive charisma” as Kashuan once put it and I REALLY see it, and honestly that in itself has some sort of an appeal to me. But with this portrait of his personality, his softer aspects, the moments of gentleness we see, are more striking, they really stand out and indicate the extent of his feelings. In the iliad, for example, we clearly see he loves Menelaus and while he’s almost laughably over-protective (MORE ON THIS LATER), his care for his brother is evident, touching, especially juxtaposed with his shortsighted selfishness. Just look at what happens in Book 4, when Menelaus is barely wounded and Agamemnon is practically writing his eulogy. Right afterwards, also, “Noble Agamemnon showed no reluctance, no cowardice or hesitation, only eagerness for the fight where men win glory”- he rushes in to fight (but not before first taking out his anxiety on his men by demanding more from them. Cannot do anything appealing / good without mitigating it with irritating behavior. love this fool). It takes him like 9 books to finally apologize to Achilles but he defends Menelaus from Nestor’s reproach in book 10, is anxious about Menelaus being in danger if he’s picked to go on a night raid with Diomedes (HERE) and is endearingly not-subtle about it, frets over him in book 4, when he’s wounded, etc.

The love for his family is something that continually stands out and is perhaps his main “redeeming” trait. In the Odyssey, as mentioned, he ask Odysseus desperately about Orestes with heart-rending choice of words especially when one considers Orestes’s Actual Fate: “Come tell me, in truth, have you heard if my son is still alive, maybe in Orchomenus or sandy Pylos, or in Menelaus’ broad Sparta: that my noble Orestes is not yet dead?”. Agamemnon’s no longer a king- he’s a worried father, he regrets the most not being able to see Orestes before he’s killed; it is this pain, of not being able to be a father to his children, which seems to cut the most deeply, which he speaks of multiple times to Odysseus. Then they just cry for a while, with each other. (I like these tender aspects hidden in a big mean man.. but I also like his big meanness).

the Tragedies take this to another level, of course, to drive home the PATHOS required for his death to have an impact but his love of his family is very much on display there. Iphigenia in Aulis in particular provides us with some agonizing demonstrations of this love: Iphigenia reminisces about an exceptionally tender moment in their relationship, when she was young (you used to ask me, “I wonder, my darling, will I get to see you married one day, married and settled happily in your husband’s home, your life ever blossoming, making me proud of you?” And I’d touch your chin, my father, hang from your beard, father, like I’m doing now and say, “and what about you, father, will I get to see you, father, an old man, visiting me at my house, ready for me to repay you for your hard work in raising me?”) an image hard to reconcile with the merciless violence and stubborn arrogance Agamemnon displays in the Iliad (BUT AGAIN, THAT’S THE APPEAL). Clytemnestra assumes he’s crying because he’s sad to see Iphigenia leave them, Agamemnon’s messenger tells him the arrival of his family will cheer him up: even his subordinates know how important they are to him.

I’d need a whole nother post to talk about his relationship with Clytemnestra but please peruse these crumbs I picked off the ground (HERE). they Had something, tbh the tragedy ONLY WORKS if they did and I will DIE on this hill. In Aeschylus, Clytemnestra calls Orestes the “mutual pledge of their love”, he calls her a “great-hearted woman”, she shirks in Aulis at his curt, demanding tone towards her, noting it as something out of character, she takes charge anyway, knows he can’t or won’t actually force her not to be involved in the Iphigenia marriage preparations-All of this creates an image of a man whose imperious, ruthless, stubborn character is balanced with a surprising capacity for tenderness, a genuine fondness and love for the members of his family, which makes the fact that his hand, albeit forced, aids in its destruction, that much more devastating.III: PSYCHOLOGY/HISTORY

Where things get especially interesting for me, character-wise, is when one thinks about his lineage, his past, and his childhood with respect to his current character. This section is about the House of Atreus in general.

Agamemnon clearly bears the scars of his environment: he was born into the House of Atreus and IMO that informs everything he says and does, all his thoughts and feelings, the way he perceives both the world and his place in it. Seneca’s Thyestes is a horrific portrait of what Agamemnon (and Menelaus’s) childhoods must have been like, ATREUS is their father, they were old enough during this event to almost be accomplices which means they’re clearly old enough to remember it. Speaking of that, Atreus isn’t worried that participating in his god-crime schemes will turn his sons evil because, in his mind, they were born evil (Ne mali fiant times? nascuntur. God GOD). Agamemnon and Menelaus grow up in a nightmare house, adjacent to atrocity, under the almost comically cruel hand of Atreus who sincerely believed his sons inherited said cruelty as if its on the same chromosome as the “house-curse” gene. It’s genuinely a miracle Agamemnon and Menelaus grew up to be functional fucking human beings, in my opinion. It also gives a lot more weight to his relationship with Menelaus and the hard imperious cast of his character; their bond was forged in fire, Agamemnon likely protected Menelaus from the worst of Nightmare House being the older brother, and being as protective as he is. There’s this one Iliad adaptation, I can’t think of it off the top of my head though, where when Agamemnon’s freaking out about Menelaus being Barely Wounded he says “don’t die… for you are all I have” and that’s absolutely how I think about their relationship in this context- Menelaus WAS all he had for so long, they clung to each other, they preserved their humanity in the face of horror BECAUSE OF each other.

But functional like.. .for a given value of “function”. Agamemnon is clearly deeply affected by these events, the weight of the Curse of the House of Atreus clearly impacts him. Take Iphigenia in Aulis, where he says “each one is born with his bitterness waiting for him”, the fact that a Son of Atreus would say that, I think, speaks to the innate, unspeakable fear of the certain destruction of his world, of the tragedy that awaits him, at his own hands, of the House-Curse waiting perched on his shoulder to strike just when he thought he’d created something impenetrable. The tragedy of Iphigenia in Aulis is Agamemnon’s realization that he has locked himself into this, that he has no other choice (see: this post about the Odysseus impact, there is in fact a point when it’s inevitable, although he still made the first move which makes it even WORSE he created this, etc) and all he can do at this point is watch as the life he so carefully built for himself and his family collapses around him, just like he must have always dreaded it would. (Also in the Iliad It’s Agamemnon who says “We must toil, in accord with the weight of sorrow Zeus loaded us with at birth” and that reminds me of this aspect of him too: Good Things Never Last, Bad Things Never Die, etc.)

It’s made clear that the story of Atreus and Thyestes is widespread, familiar; Teucer in Sophocles’ Ajax and Neoptolemus in Seneca’s Trojan Women both call out Agamemnon for trying to reference his lineage as a source of authority because it is a HORRIFIC lineage. “I know about the famous family of Atreus and Thyestes”, Neoptolemus says. And THEREIN LIES A CONFLICT: Agamemnon’s sense of self comes from his authority, his kingship, his position of power and his social status as a member of the nobility, of the class of royalty BUT. It’s all undercut by the fact that this power, authority, indeed his very identity is based in cruelty, violence, and crime; Agamemnon is descended from the most ignoble nobility, which he knows all too well.

It’s Interesting that Agamemnon’s relationship with his identity, status, family, power is brought up in Ajax, of all plays, primarily concerned with the destruction of Ajax’s identity- reminding Agamemnon of the crimes of his house genuinely cuts him down. I see Agamemnon as a man who genuinely fears his past, who dreads the legacy of his father and in his desperation creates a crisis for himself (as happens in tragedy).

We (I) laugh at Agamemnon “forgetting” about the god-crime shit before he pulls rank by referencing his Authority and Status but there’s something in Agamemnon continually being owned by forgetting about the House…. Agamemnon wants to distance himself from the “legacy” he inherited from Atreus, but he can’t without disavowing his power, his authority, his identity. Whether he likes it or not (he does Not), this is fundamental to who he is. I feel like that knowledge too lurks in his mind, rises to the forefront occasionally at his lowest points-

Clytemnestra in Aeschylus’s Agamemnon pretty clearly sees him / his actions as the next link in the god-crime family chain, a continuation of the house -curse, heir to his father’s throne and his crimes, hence her belief that killing him is the only way to end it/ stop the cycle of violence (spoiler she is wrong but there’s another post coming eventually about how they are Very Similar Characters short version the Etruscans Understand).

IN short, I think there’s a lot of complexity in Agamemnon people overlook, or don’t get to see since they don’t read the peripheral plays. Agamemnon seems to me a man in conflict with himself, a Man of Contradictions, who defines himself by his authority and status while fearing the source of it, whose devotion to his family contrasts with the horror of his childhood, and with his own agonizing role in its destruction, a man who willfully ignores or cannot bring himself to fully interact with the legacy of Atreus, who tries to distance himself from the crimes of his house and the cruelty of his father while being reminded of both every time he’s called by the epithet Atreides.

#the iliad #the oresteia #tagamemnon #agamemnon #is complicated...#hes GENUINELY A BAD PERSON WITH MANY HORRIBLE QUALITIES DO NOT GET ME WRONG!!! BUT LIKE I SAID #I like the big meanness w/ the tenderness.... and please take into account also that im shallow and hes big and im gay #the house that dripped blood #important ... content

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