#ahhh excited about my art and its such a nice feeling :^)))

[charrfie]

Ohhhhh I have got some stuff COOKING for you guys

[lotus-sunn]

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES MUTANT MAYHEM COME LOOK

(note does this count as spoliers to the movie??? maybe but just in case SPOILERS!!!)

(didnt you hear me SPOILERS GUYS!!!)

your still here? good then you know!

OH MY GOD EVERYONE LOOK AT ME I JUST WATCHED MUTANT MAYHEM YK THE MOVIE AND WOW I LIKED IT I WOULD HAVE TO SAY...MIKEY OR DONNIE IS MY FAVORITE AND AHHH I LOVED THE ART I WAS SCREAMING WHEN MIKEY SAID COWABUNGA

Anyway, on further notice, the April x Leo...we will see how I feel about it. I felt a little stingy after seeing 2012 Donnie and April; it practically was the same scene. but nevertheless, I will be willing to give this a shot! My guy leo deserves love and he is a teenager! So of course he would fall for someone. Of course.

But CMON LOOK ITS PRACTICALLY THE SAME SCENE

TELL ME YOU SEE IT IM NOT CRAZY I PROMISE IM NOT

i cannot STRESS IT ENOUGH THEY ALMOST SAY THE SAME THING but that will be another post where i show the similarites in the scenes. Now Im not here to say things that are mean to enjoyers of apriltello! You guys like your things, and I like mine! 

Anyways, all in all, I really like it, and I also like the concept of a new-found family. It looks like Splinter actually gets to have a love life that will seemingly (from the looks of it) last.

unlike well these two

Also how, when the post credits play, we see the SHREDDER and that HE will be involved in maybe a new movie! But most likely, the cartoon SHOWS THAT THEY ANNOUNCED. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? AHHH, I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED!

Ahem. Moving on, at first I was kind of shocked at how squeaky (no offense) Donnies voice was, but it kinda grew on me after the end of the movie. i mean cmon, JUST LOOK AT HIM.

Of course his voice grew on me. Anyways I really liked the art style. First of all, it was so creative, especially how colorful it was! I mean, did you see Superfly at the arcade when he was with turtles? LOOK AT THAT EXPLOSION OF COLORS 

Also the SONGS???? ABSOLUTELY ALL FUCKING BANGERS I KNEW ALL OF THEM (the ones with lyrics yk) I NEED MORE CONTENT OMFGGG AHHH AND ALSO they ACT like teenagers (no hate to Rise they did it great as well or any other version of tmnt its just it kinda felt a little more for adluts at times or mature but thats just me dont attack me ) BUT LIKE THEY EMBRACED WHAT GEN Z IS AND ALSO THEY ACT LIKE JUST SOME FUCKING GUYS IN NEW YORK (I only confirmed that information with my cousin who lives in New York I'm taking her word for but of course take everything i say with a grain of salt.)

Personally, I'm still down with my girl APRIL ONEIL! I liked their April! I personally still LOVE Rise April more then mutant mayhems but thats juust me being biased of course! But I love how they continued with the "April is like their sister" thing and am glad they made Splinter more of a father-like rise which I EAT UP they did great!

Also while I watched the beginning I noticed how early they brought Baxter stockman up. I was confused at first but later understood but that my dear readers begs the question

Is he still alive?

Well, the movie kind of makes it look like he IS dead, but in the scene where they had him, they just took him in with them, so does that mean he is still alive? Will he come back to his mutant family?? How will he react to Superfly, his first kid, being presumably dead?

questions and more questions or should I say curiouser and curiouser? (I'm sorry.) 

Also, did any of you notice while they played the credits that THEY DREW MASTER SPLINTER FROM THE ROTTMNT?? I can't get the image now, but as soon as I do, I WILL SHOW YOU GUYS 

I also love the references to the old turtles in the credits and, I think, some of the movie scenes. 

loved that ( a nice call back)

And they also gave back Raph's sai's! Maybe they didn't want to upset the ahem uptight fans that are afraid of change, to completely tear down their movie (yes, I'm targeting you). (I saw what you did to rise. It was just a new weapon IT WASNT THAT FUCKING SERIOUS) But of course, if that was just their preference and choice, then that's cool too! 

Anyway, that's enough from me. This post is going to get way too long if I keep going, i might overload your brains haha!

so I will save you all the trouble and shorten this up and conclude my rant/friendly check in with all of you

Final thoughts:

All in all, it was a fantastic film that I enjoyed watching. It was SO worth the year I had to wait for. (Don't ask me to elaborate, please.) Should you watch it if you want to get introduced to TMNT? YES! Should you watch it if you are already a fan of TMNT, who is a nice person who isn't afraid of change??? Yes, you should!

I promise, you will love it! or at least, like it somewhat, no pressure! 

Good day and good night my fellow readers who took the time out of their day to read someones thoughts.

[dullgecko]

Heyo so u wanted to come if on anon for a while now but also wanted to have another headcanon or idea to share when I do, but I think I’m pretty taped out for new ideas.

Anyway here I am surprise 🎉

I still regularly check out your page and I always enjoy seeing the new posts and responses plus any updates to the chaos horde au.

Also I know I said I’m out of things to share at this moment but I did have one small thing for my new favourite of Tiktik;

I remember a post about goblins having very strong opinions on fashion and the idea that once they find a look they like they stick with it and go full force with it.

So Tiktik decides to stay in elmville for a while just to visit the gang, particular her pretty cleric and see how they just generally live their lives etc.

Part of this is going to a mall or clothing store to get her solace appropriate clothing. My initial thought was to Tiktik was going full goth mode since she’s used to wearing dark clothing anyway like most goblins do to blend in with shadows and night and I imagine her loving the intricate shiny jewellery, studs and spikes she can add.

But then I thought hang on, for the first time in her life she doesn’t have to worry about camouflage or standing out to much or she’ll possibly be eaten, and now has access unlimited to all these new and exciting clothes (Fabian offered to buy her anything she wanted and get it tailored to her size later, he claims it’s just a welcome gift but secretly it’s more of a thank you for helping get me and Riz together gift).

So she goes for the brightest most gaudy clothes she can find, I’m talking rainbow leggings, several different kinds of bright plastic bracelets on each arm and necklaces along with the loudest patterned shirts and skirt/shorts anyone’s ever seen.

She comes out of the dressing room and while everyone saw the clothes she picked out it’s still a shock to actually see it all together and before anyone can say anything to try and talk her out of her fashion choices, Kristen does her best impression of a suggestive/impressed goblin growl genuinely finding the outfit she’s wearing to be HOT (she wears tie dye and a yellow tracksuit, her fashion sense aren’t the best).

Also thing honestly was only meant to be a small thing but it kinda got away from me 😅

Xx

God i love it so much but also AHHH HI <3

The goblins up in the mountains actually have fairly nice clothing. They might not have cotton, but they have a kind of silk harvested from creatures they farm in the darkness of their caves. Very strong and rip-proof so it can withstand their claws and it feels wonderful against your skin. Adventurers used to find bolts of the silk in goblin caves and attributed it to them stealing it from elven settlements.

The stereotype of a goblin wearing threadbare rags is only because adventurers were constantly encountering them after destroying their homes and trying to exterminate them. Textile arts take time and if you're constantly running for your life and moving you dont have time to make any new outfits. It gets put on the backburner even more so if your species doesnt have much of a taboo about nudity.

Its almost always dyed mostly greens and dark browns so their camoflage doesnt get disrupted too badly but it's all tailored to fit well, and tight, so it doesnt get snagged on anything.

Other than the silks they'll usually also have leather clothing. There's plenty of it to go around since they hunt for 99% of their food so its usually what smaller kits wear since they'll grow out of it fast.

Tiktik comes to Solace and there's just SO MANY different fabrics and colours, so she spends hours just wandering around a store running her hands over things to test how they feel (some of the textures are repulsive and Riz agrees). She finds some stuff she likes and goes a little wild on the colour choices ands up stepping out of the changing room and its just like

Riz is kindof glad he's wearing light-filtering glasses.

[termagax]

also the one thing that REALLY got me to start trying to think more positively abt my art as a kid was somebody said "the #1 thing that keeps a lot of online artists from reaching an audience is constant self-deprication". like. most people wont notice the flaws in your stuff that you notice, and even the people who do will not gaf because you made a thing and its cool!!! its cool to make stuff!!! but if youre always jumping ahead of people and talking about how much your art sucks, or doing the cutesy "ahhh i know i know its not good but :(" on every piece, people are either going to a)feel embarrassed that they liked something you think is stupid b)feel awkward because its hard to complement someone who wont take your complement and will only respond self-depricatingly or c)feel pity and say something nice out of obligation regardless of their real opinion. and idk about yall but i HATE pity complements more than anything i only want GENUINE PEACE AND FRIENDSHIP 5EVER i dont give pity complements and i dont like to take them. so for a long time i would religiously avoid publically self-deprecating and its TRUE. people get way more excited when youre excited about what you make, the energy is better and its better for you and EVENTUALLY you will even be able to take complements and genuinely believe them. this is how i taught myself to take self-criticism too because i would only say it publically if i framed it as "something to note for next time" or "something im not happy with" instead of "my art being bad". unfortunately the yoga moms are right in this instance your mindset IS everything.

[vynegar]

anniv3 card liveblog dump. updated as i go. spoiler warning!

luke

i’m gone TT (it’s actually all still pretty fluffy and sweet. barely a hint of angst)

YEAHHHHHHHHHH HIGH SCHOOL!ROSA MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ah i forgot to show you guys her new outfit in this card, she’s v cute, i’ll screenshot after this flashback scene)

agh. this expression. always so cute TT rosa it is an honor to be able to play as you 🫡

a;dlfjadkl okay i know the card wasn’t hitting (yet) but like. now with the new bgm i’m really feeling something :’) perhaps we will be budgeting for anniv3 after all

HADFJA;LDKJF;LAKJERLAJLEKRJAKLE

omg poetry reference. truly the bread and butter of this blog’s analyses

ok the interactions: i mean, they’re nice. the animation is very fluid and there’s definitely more motion and more variety than in normal card art animations (though those have been advancing over the years too!) lol i think the knowledge of how purely-fanservicey this is kinda limits how excited i get over this part

overall: i mean it’s a good card but doesn’t make me lose my mind over it like luke’s previous anniversary cards; like this is closer to the caliber of a birthday or top-up card. nothing necessarily bad about it but... i think the most emotion i felt was because the combination of a new bgm (or at least new to me) + high school era lukerosa which i have a soft spot for. 

anyway. off to watch vyn’s, which is my last hope for this anniversary really delivering on the card stories :’) also based on my quick glance at his interaction video they might have fixed the piano keys...?? BIG if true

ahhh almost forgot the keepsake!!

BIGHEAD ROSA!!! ahh i was wanting to draw her but mhy beat me to it lol

vyn

omg already >100 comments on his video. yes. my brethren. we are all broke and watching the video instead of getting the card 🤝

55 other people are watching the video literally right now. hell yeah

omg. they really did fix the piano keys XDDDDDDD

me trying to zoom in on the sheet music. LET ME PLAY IT

wow. reference to a very famous and iconic vyn card moment in this story. hint it has to do with water

what the fuck dude extreme weather even showing up in the tot cards TTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

whoaaaa okay worldbuilding: svart has its own language i guess? there are labels written in it, and the narrative calls it svart language and not like english or french or whatever

i think a fun thing about backgrounds being reused is that everyone probably has different scenes that they most strongly associate each background with. for me, this is the winery from food for thought. vyn infodumping about how to cultivate wine grapes. mixing wine with sprite. that’s MY reference to a previous vyn card for this story

VYN HAD HIS MOTHER SEND OVER THE PIANO FROM HIS CONFESSION AS THEIR MOVING IN GIFT????????????

VYN WROTE THE SHEET MUSIC!! NEON MELODY CALLBACK????? (HUGE WIN FOR ME PERSONALLY)

ok only halfway through the card rn but i Need to sleep. back tmrw to finish this and to watch marius’s (even though i’ve barely seen any of this recent cards... whoops)

WAAAAAAAAIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT HOLY SHIT THIS FUCKS SO HARD ACTUALLY??? THIS REFERENCE THEY’RE DOING?? WITHOUT STATING IT OPENLY AAAAAAHHHH THIS IS SO POWERFUL TTT

ok here’s vyn’s illustration. wet rain-soaked little meow meow

rosa forgetting about the instant noodles she’s cooking. just like me fr

hmmmm kinda criminal that they’re supposed to be playing piano here and the bgm is one of the ones that DOESN’T have piano

ok yeah they definitely fixed the piano keys. just compare this to the original anniversary PV you’ll see. NOW FIX THE SSS CARD SYSTEM NEXT

one comment saying the sheet music is liebestraum which i was kinda also suspecting since structure is very similar but some of the measures don’t match up exactly (at least not against the copy of sheet music i have). however, the section behind vyn’s right shoulder is pretty much measure 25 and the part behind his left shoulder is close to m35-36. (which... is not a song that vyn wrote xDDD we’ll say he’s alluding to or remixing it for their purposes)

you’re telling me his hand accidentally hits the piano and there’s a “pleasing sound”??? he’s falling backwards onto it and playing chords???

ok back to checking the sheet music (my priorities are exactly where they should be)

i think the two sheets here (behind his left shoulder and under his left hand) are the same page (which we said before was m35-36). it’s the only place in the song where the key signature change looks like that (in the upper right; it’s definitely the sharps pattern and not the flats) and the following sections match as well. so i think that pages goes like this:

line 1: m34-36 (and key change where five sharps are made natural)

line 2: m37-m39

line 3: m40-m42

line 4: m43-44 (not sure if that last note should have a slur tho)

it was kind of throwing me off earlier since some of the chords that would be octaves didn’t seem far apart enough on the card art, but maybe it’s a combo of perspective + shrunk down + artistic license

ok i can’t rly find a keepsake investigation video yet and i’m still just watching the interaction in the bg but this card is fine. i know i got really excited at one point but it’s because i’m especially interested in the plant motif (still have not fully stated what the exact reference was bc i’m sure i’ll point it out later). so far the cards feel like nice top-up cards (since those always make sure to have spicy/fanservice-y parts) that are trying hard to reference previous events. i checked the comments of BOTH vyn and marius videos and there was someone (different people!) asking which of the cards had a better story (because what they’d seen so far was disappointing).... does NOT bode well ufnfortunately

edit: i will say that these even feel a bit worse than top-up cards since those usually try to grapple with substantive potential issues in the relationship, while these anniv3 cards don’t. also still haven’t watched marius’s yet but yamashina jin just translated artem’s card and even she’s disappointed by the writing quality so like... widespread disappointment i suppose 😔

marius

ok yeah this is a very good continuation/evolution of the idea from tideborne romance. unfortunately i was also meh on that card

omg... marius is gonna make himself the present isn’t he....

OKAY THERE’S AT LEAST ONE (1) THING I LOVE ABOUT THIS CARD 🥺🥺 (doesn’t even get a mention in the story it’s just a visual easter egg in the bg)

artem

halfway through pt 2 and i’ve figured out how to describe how i’m feeling. you remember marius’s 1st birthday card when they were just kinda doing random things to fill up time in the plot? it’s kinda like that. (though it doesn’t have the weird ooc-ness of that card and it’s not as long)

the bear from his bday event and the eyemask from wandering heart!! actually maybe my favorite part of these cards will just be the little easter eggs in them

ok so after the “reveal” of what artem is Actually up to, i do like the card more. i really like what his true plan, i just kind of dislike how MC is kept in the dark again. it’s not even bad this time around, like it’s very much a cute surprise between lovers, but i think that stuff in his engagement left a bad taste in my mouth about it and i didn’t want to see it again lol. also, i feel like it would have been cute if mc was the one to propose moving in together (just a random thought since for all the these, it was p much the LI bringing it up)

ok this is one of the better illustrations for anniv3 cards tho.

alright. finished the card. umm nothing more to say xDDD

on the keepsakes tho; these genuinely fuck so hard. also artem's a protective charm from cloudbreak temple and red beans and he recites The Lines again.... literally why can’t we have this kind of energy in the actual card story TTTTT

[the-scarlet-witch-22]

Music is one of the best reasons to travel! I honestly travel to places based on food, music, and nature!

And yesssss I'll tell you all about Samson and Delilah!!! 😁 The tickets were a gift and I was in shock because I thought they were going to be sold out. Saint-Saëns is sooo underrated and is honestly my favorite composers. And I love that you got to experience that kind of performance!!! Music is literally so transformative and those types performances give me ALWAYS make me SOBBB, especially if you know the person performing.

Goddd Habanera playing in the bathroom was sooo funny. The friend I was with also loves classical music and operas and so when we got back into the car all we could think about was associating pieces or composers with bathroom situations. I said that Brahms would feel very fitting for someone having a really upset stomach 😂😂 I actually grew up in Washington, specifically the Seattle area! So if you ever visit, highly recommend seeing the Seattle symphony or a musical at the 5th Ave theatre!! The Seattle symphony is great because it's right next to the Seattle Art Museum, and if you time it just right in the Summer you can see the symphony AND get a free jazz concert in the lobby of the SAM!!

Aahhhh that's so exciting!!!!! I've never seen Wicked live but I imagine it's SPECTACULAR!!! Nothing beats a live performances and I'm so excited that you get to go!! Hopefully you'll be able to see more live music/performance!!

Sorry my these keep getting longer and longer 😬 but your responses always bring me a boost of serotonin 💖 i hope you have a fantastic week and hopefully get a break and enjoy any holiday festivities ❤️

- paganini anon

Paganini Anon! Hellooo! I’m so sorry for the delay, I’ve been so busy this weekend with family activities.

Ahhh well I’m so excited for you- it’s awesome that you were surprised and it makes it even better that Saint-Saëns is your favorite composer!!! And yes, i completely agree! I love the way you worded that. I do cry sometimes while watching concerts, (I make jokes its due to my Pisces moon) but there’s something very powerful about watching a symphony perform these incredible works. I feel so lucky that I know how to play a lot of them, and that I’ve had the privilege to study and play the violin for almost 20 years now wow wow.

Ahdkfjdjs I’m obsessed w discussing composers in modern situations in general and I legit laughed very loudly reading this 😂 Brahms yes, the perfect choice!! I was also thinking of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture haha. Oh that’s awesome! I’ve never been to Seattle but I know someone who’s from there, and I’ve heard a lot of wonderful things. I would love to go one day, especially to see the Seattle Symphony!!! Omg and art museums, I loveeee art museums- that’s so cool that they offer jazz concerts over the summer! Where I’m from they have jazz concerts (perhaps other concerts too, but I’ve only gone on jazz nights) at our aquarium and it’s so fun!

Yessss I’m so excited! The last time I saw Wicked I was very young- I want to say 7 or 8, but i loved it! And thank you 😭 That is so sweet!! I also forgot that I’m seeing The Lion King soon as well- and I’m so happy! My brother loves it and he can’t wait to go.

Also please don’t apologize for the messages getting longer- they make my day! I’m always happy to read and reply ☺️✨ And thank you! It was a super busy week and weekend but so much fun. I hope you’ve had a nice week of celebrating and hopefully some time to relax as well!! Thank you so much again for the ask, they always make me so happy! ♥️

[restinpeacesensei]

i made this to revive @mercysorrows who made a comment about being killed by cuteness! >< i wanted to fix it with cuteness too ;;--;;

[goldenxbby]

cold cuts in the moonlight

part 2 and part 3

εїз pairing: fezco x f!reader

εїз warnings: not much just blood, slight arousal, and poorly explained art history... BEWARE 

εїз word count:  5669 hehe

εїз summary: fez doesn't know where else to go except outside your window.

εїз a/n: this is like my very first time writing and sharing a fic so pls be nice i don’t know what i’m doing. this is based off everything we’ve seen in the first epi of season two of euphoria about an hour after the big fight (ahhh). i couldn’t decide whether to make the pov lexi or y/n so i just half based it off lexi so it can be used either way. also i plan on making this a series so if literally anybody likes this i shall try and post again.

She had just finished washing her face using the self-care tactic as a form of distraction since absolutely no one was answering their phones. She thought at least there was some normalcy compared to the commotion from this night's party.

returning to her dark room she flopped onto her bed grabbing her phone connected to its charger. She went straight to her messages for the 5th time tonight to look over Fez’s text. At the party when he put his number in her phone he sent himself a “:))”. It made her giggle when she first looked at it, but his time it sent a pang of worry and nostalgia through her heart. 

She missed the warm fuzzy feelings she had felt on that couch with him almost an hour ago. The moment before she saw Fez’s smirk turn to a tense stare. When his eyes had those little twinkles of light swimming in a pool of deep blue she so badly wanted to dive into, and not a complete shield of darkness blocking out the person who made her cheeks blush and whole body warm from head to toe. She worried where he was, what he was doing, what he was thinking, what he was thinking of her- no shit that was stupid why would she even be in his mind right now? She was a speck in the night he had. He must have had a million more important and interesting things running through his head than her boring self. He probably had already forgotten about her. 

Well, shit. Now her heart had shifted past her stomach and all the way outside her body, probably touching bedrock. She needed another distraction or she knew she would start her self-loathing monologue and that would definitely make this night even worse.

Opening twitter was a mistake. Having to look at the car crash that was her drunk and definitely high east highland peers tweeting about the pummeling and sharing videos of Nate Jacobs being unconsciously dragged out who knows house sent fear down her body. Not because what Fez did scared her she was more shocked than anything. No, she felt fear because seeing how everyone reacted to the fight made her realize her reflex after seeing Fez almost murder Nate in front of everyone was to be concerned about him. A man she barely knew and had shared maybe 6 sentences of conversation with. A conversation that left butterfly’s in her stomach and cheeks hot, a conversation that made her feel desired, listened to, comfortable, excited and seeing feelings she’s not sure she’s felt in a long time… or maybe ever. 

God, how was she falling for a guy who will probably never speak to her again? A guy that she barely knows. Why was the thought of falling make her feel thrilled? 

All those ideas took a pause when Rue's name popped up on her phone with a text notification. 

“rue: you talk to fez?”

Getting a text from Rue that wasn’t a reply was surprising, but getting one about Fez was even more. Staring at her phone with the idea that Fez might have also been thinking about her and even went out of his way to text someone he trusted about it made her bite her lips trying to hold in the joy. 

Oh, fuck those thoughts came back. What if she was totally delusional? Why the fuck would Fez talk about her? I thought we registered that he already forgot about her? He clearly wasn’t asking Rue about her. Rue probably saw them on the couch. Duh, they were at the same party and anybody that saw them together would be asking her the same question. The duo was extremely contrasting from the outside and she knew that but she also knew it felt like one of the rarest connections anybody would be lucky to have on this earth. 

Shit, she needs to reply. Rue can see she’s read the text. Trying to think of something that wouldn’t give a tell of her emotions was hard under the time constraints she gave herself. She landed on “wdym?”. Jesus the fuck was that? She never texts like that she knows Rue knows she has to use urban dictionary to talk to anybody their age. One message and she’s already failing at coming off as normal. 

*ding* 

Oh God is Rue gonna bully her now she must know somethings up? With all her anxiety right now she can not take Rue's teasing. Uneasily opening her phone with her eyes closed and holding her breath she finally takes a peak.

“rue: he asked for your addy?”

 Holy. She felt holy at that moment. Like all her dreams were manifestations like she must be God's favourite like an angel would appear out of nowhere and grant all her deepest wishes. And then it actually happened, it actually fucking happened. Unbeknownst to her at the time though. 

A soft tapping from her window barely took her out of her thoughts. Looking up from the phone she was disassociating into, she saw some of the light from the moon above her had been blocked in her window. Getting up and pulling her curtains to the side with a squint she saw him. 

His expression completely different from the hostile glance he gave her leaving the party earlier. The look he was wearing now staring down at her held innocence in it somehow. He quickly changed his questioning pout into a sincere half smile when she whispered “fez?”. That half tug of his lips and her name leaving them made her almost jump to open her window. 

You know when the Roman Empire fell and everyone was in such deep poverty that they became obsessed with the church? And all the paintings at the time were of saints with those golden halos? 

Well, Fez’s halo was white right now under the moonlight and he was swiftly becoming the saint she’d obsess over to divert from the poverty that was being away from his company. That’s all she could think about as the words “What are you doing here?” left her mouth. 

Fez's face dropped down looking at the ground then back at her the questioning unknowing look coming back to his face. “Ima be honest wit you, I’m acting on my gut rn instead of my head.” he chuckled. Making her smile up at him. She gained a confidence she’s only ever felt around Fez “We’ll does your gut wanna come in?”. All the self doubt she had held minutes ago was completely gone and the only thing filling her head was… just Fez. She could only think of him and trying to keep him with her for as long as possible.

 “…yeah.” he clearly took some time to think over his answer. Like his confidence had dissipated now having to actually go through with the wants that brought him to his current spot. Moving to the side to let Fez in she’s confused when he doesn’t enter. But looking back she noticed Fez taking his shoes off and then handing them to her with a “Not tryna get yo floors dirty ma.” which makes her giggle and whisper “Thanks.” while taking them. Bending down and out of his view, she places them next to her dresser and by the time she’s standing up he’s in her room. 

If Fez could have seen where she had been crouched over he wouldn’t have stood so close. Like there was barely fucking millimeters between them. If he had more room then maybe just maybe the wind wouldn’t be knocked out of him. Feeling her body heat radiate off her, her beautiful big eyes looking into his in the darkness, looking at her lips that must hold magnates in them because he had to force himself to stay right where he was and not smash his against hers.

 All that forcing and not breathing left silence in her room with only her breathing being heard. Since it seemed he wasn’t talking anytime soon she tries to think on her feet to not seem as awkward as she truly was. And all that came out of her mouth was a soft “Hi.”. This made Fez’s lost look change to a small smile. He replied “Hey.”. 

Is she really blushing at that? Jesus, how embarrassing is it that a small word like hey from his lips which were painfully too far away for hers could cause her to blush so fucking hard right now? To try and conceal her cheeks she looked down which probably wasn’t the brightest decision. 

It was so blaring she would have been confused why she was only just now looking at his beaten up hand, but Fez’s face existed so she didn’t question herself. Without think she let the sentence slip “Can I?” and looks back up to his doll like eyes. 

His smile was now gone and she could tell he was biting the inside of his lip but before she could feel like she violated his comfort he nodded his head. Finally stripping his gaze from her and looking to the side.

She went back to surveying his fist and let her hand go to caress his knuckles. Hearing him take a breath in she looked back at him worriedly, but he was already looking down at her. “Fez, are you okay?” she questioned sympathetically. Switching his sight again Fez replied “Life’s been worse ya know?” which immediately caused her to respond with almost an eye roll “That’s not answering my question.”. 

At first, she thought fez was taking his regular time to communicate as it was well known to anybody that had a conversation with Fez that he wasn’t necessarily a fast talker. But then the silence grew and he still wasn’t looking at her, so she opened her mouth with nothing prepared to say just hoping it would come to her in the moment like an idiot. 

She didn’t have to worry about what to say though because Fez finally spoke and looked back into her eyes with a new intensity that caused her to gulp saliva that wasn’t even in her mouth. 

“You know it doesn’t matter how high I get… I can never run away from that feelin of stress in the back of my head and let life slip away…” he paused “and I hate going to those stupid party’s, they’re always filled with annoying kids that either say two words to me buying shit off me or say the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard.” he laughed lowly “…but when you sat next to me… I…” his eyebrows contorted “I felt this comfort… like shit was alright, right now, and when you spoke it was like entertaining like every time you left I was waiting for you to come back and tell me another crazy fucking fact.” he finally smiled again but then looked down to his feet “I just cant be at home rn… you know?” taking a breath in he found her eyes “and I felt like if I’d wanna be anywhere else it be wit you”. 

Five hours, five minutes, five seconds ago she would have never thought she would have heard anything so touching, so romantic from anybody… especially Fezco. That confession left her brain completely blank. It was usually running at 200 mph but she always just chose not to share what was going on in there… since no one would listen anyways or maybe they never heard her? That felt better to believe at least. 

Oh, she should replying now, right? Shit- okay what the fuck do you say to that? Fuck fuck fuck. She was really regretting never putting herself out there with guys before (I mean it’s not they were going for her either so it wasn’t fully her fault). If she had an ounce of experience she’d know what to say to Fez but she really couldn’t think of anything like her brain was literally empty. But she can’t leave him hanging or he’ll think she’s disinterested and she was the complete opposite, so she must speak like now.

“You need water.”

Great, that was really romantic. Really communicating her feelings, isn’t she? Fez replied blinking slowly at her “huh?”. Well, the words have already started spilling out her mouth why stop now right? “When’s the last time you drank water tonight?” she questioned. “I don know?” Fez said back clearly confused about where her detour was going. “Exactly, you need to stay hydrated, stay here and I’ll get you some water.” she spits out at an unnatural speed. 

Running past her bed through her door she leaves Fez alone in the darkness of her room. Smiling at her cute and obvious awkwardness, Fez goes to sit on the end of her bed. Shuffling a little he looks down at her comforter. Sliding his hand on it to feel its softness he laughs to himself at the contrast of his roughed up hand touching her frilly and flower covered blanket. It hit him then, the pang in his heart realizing that steering himself into her perfect life with his mess of shit you could try to call a life, (you know based on the technicalities) would be selfish of him. That his danger vs her innocence would ruin her like the blood that had stained the white long sleeve shirt he was still wearing. 

Looking away to shake the realistic thoughts out of his head, Fez searched her room. Not looking for anything in particular just searching for something to take his emotions away. It landed on a polaroid of her from winter formal on the corner of her mirror. 

God, she was so beautiful he wished he could jump into the picture and transport back to that night. He'd grow a pair of balls and ask her for a dance instead of watching her from the sidelines all night. Maybe even get a kiss. His eyes kept moving around her room watching the decorations she chose to place all over. The clutter covering every surface, like her make-up and hair shit and stuffed animals and books of course she had a healthy selection. 

Then his eyes found it. Something he recognized. The deep green knit was perfectly folded on her dresser. He had forgotten about the clothing item. Not out of disinterest but just from everything else going around him at the moment didn’t leave much space for him to think of it. But she did. And she cared enough to take it with her and neatly fold it in her space. 

Her room was like a window into her brain, her otherworldly brain. everything around him made him feel like he wanted it to become a part of his daily routine, being here physically or through reminders like his clothing. He wanted to become a part of this.

A knock makes his head whip towards the door. It's soft and he can tell it’s coming from her. He walks up and before his hand reaches the knob he hears her voice softly whisper his name. Smiling at the call he opens her door fully and sees her with way more than a water. She smiles sheepishly as he gives her a questioning but humorous look “I couldn't open it with my hands full.”. He lets a laugh slip through his lips “I see dat.”. 

She walks past him into her room as he closes the door and dumps all the content onto her bed except a plate that stays in her hand. They both look down at the pile and she explains “I thought if you hadn’t had any water in awhile you probably haven’t eaten either, so I tried to make a sandwich, but I like never make them so I thought it probably won’t taste too good, so then I put chips so you don’t starve because of my terrible sandwich making skills…” Fez laughs switching his gaze to her “and then I thought your hand must hurt really badly, but we don’t have ice so I grabbed peas to work instead, and I realized that I hadn’t had water in a while either so grabbed one for myself.” she breathes out and smiles at her work while her smiles at her. 

Looking up at him she speaks “Well sit down.” and motions to her bedside. “uh sorry.” Fez murmurs and sits, grabbing the water while she hands him the plate of food “thanks.”. Without replying she reaches for the pillows he rests on shifting and fluffing them to properly support his back. Noticing her putting on the caretaker role Fez chuckles “You know I didn’t come here for you to take care of me?” she retorts back taking her hands from the pillows “I know but you deserve to be taken care of.”. Fez doesn’t want to fight her on what he deserves and doesn’t as he knows she definitely believes he’s a better person than he actually is and is strong minded enough to argue with him over the truth he’s known all his life, so he falls silent looking at his lap. 

A dip in the bed forms as she goes to sit next to him. Handing him the plate and grabbing her water bottle and the frozen peas she sits next to him. The cold of the peas reminded her whose hand they should be in. Without thinking she grabs his and places it on her thigh to properly hold and support it, which causes Fez to place the plate on his lap. She lays the peas on his knuckles as softly as possible and he winces. A “sorry.” escapes her mouth as she looks back at Fez’s face. “It's okay just the adrenaline’s startin to wear off.” he jokes. She nods, thinking “Oh I think I have some ibuprofen in here!” Fez goes to say it’s fine but is cut off before he even begins to speak seeing her turn and bend down searching in her bedside table. “I know it’s in here.” she states. His eyes instantly go to her ass that’s basically on full display at this moment. His eyes widen and to catch his breath he looks away while also trying to adjust the plate on his lap as high as humanly possible.

“Got it!” she exclaims and goes back to her original position while pouring two pills into her hand. She then ushers her hand in front of Fez’s face expecting him to take them out off her palm with his fingers. But her whole body tenses as he connects his lips to the side of her hand using it as a funnel and quickly sipping water. Not to help them go down his throat though, as he’s mastered dry swallowing, but to help the cottonmouth that’s formed from looking into her eyes while connecting his lip to the side of her palm, damning himself for ending the interaction too quickly. 

She tried to act as nonchalant as he appears so she goes back to iceing his hand on her lap. Laughing at herself thinking about how what she was doing wouldn’t be called iceing rather peaing, which helped her slip back into the same comfort she felt sitting next to Fez on the couch earlier that night. 

“So do you wanna talk about what happened or for me to entertain you?” she looked up at him smirking. Fez smirked back replying “Entertain.”. Looking up at the ceiling she took a second to think of what she could possibly entertain Fez with. “Hm, well I know you enjoyed the history shit.” Fez laughed at her almost forgetting where his hand rested “Yeah that pee shit was wild.” his remark made her add teeth to her smile. “Well, something almost as wild as the pee shit was like… well you know about medieval art right?” his smile then grew “Do I look like I know anything about art?” he threw back to her with a quirked eyebrow. She laughed “Well arts easy like that though, you don’t really need to know about it or what it means you can just make up what you think it means.” he looked jokingly judgy towards her. 

“Arts like the OG pick your own adventure story, you know? Everyone can believe what they think it means and it’s all valid and different and even the artists original meaning doesn’t matter, and it’s even better than pick your own adventure stories cause the longer the piece of art is on earth the more meanings it can have it’s like infinite.”. Fez whispers almost under his breath “fearless…” she laughs at his comment adding “Even like something like… a leaf, that can have so many meanings in art like nature or life or death or delicate or weak, it’s never ending.” she contently smiles at him. 

“What do you think it means?” Fez asks, his eyes quickly scan her eyes then lips then eyes again. She looks straight on not being able to handle his intense stare “Uhh well the way it’s captured matters like its context, but if you asked me to just picture a leaf and what the picture I created in my head means I’d say…” she closes her eyes and Fez uses that as an opportunity to taste her sandwich just in case it’s actually bad then she wouldn’t have to see his reaction. “I’d say it means to me humankind… the way it has those lines that look like a skeleton and how they are ever changing, but are resilient through difficult circumstances and flourish after the hardest times in their lives… and all inevitably die.” she opens her eyes looking over to Fez who looks almost starstruck, which she first takes as a huge compliment but then realizes that his reaction was definitely towards the sandwich half hanging out his mouth. It made her giggle “You weren’t even listening were you?”.

She could barely speak through her laughter, but Fez swallows as quickly as possible bringing his eyebrows together “Nah nah I was.” replying “Oh really?” she looked doubtful towards him. This caused Fez to sit up straighter and state “Yeah, but I disagree with the skeleton thing I think they look more like our nerves than our bones.”. She turns away not out of embarrassment more out of trying to hide the smile that had formed from seeing that he listened. Someone actually listened to her. 

Placing the peas back on his knuckles as he continues eating her sandwich “Sorry for doubting you it just looked like you were really into the food.” she looked back at him sharing her smile “I mean yeah it’s a good sandwich.” Fez complimented. “Thanks, I tried to make it like I’ve seen my mom do I just don’t make ‘em cause the cold cuts gross me out.” she shared.

“Why would you touch ‘em if they gross you out?” Fez asked genuinely “Cus I’m not trying to starve you out of my own selfishness Fez.” she joked. “You sure know how to make a guy feel special y/n.” he smiled and took another bite which caused her to blush and look down at her lap to hide from him. 

Looking at her reaction caused Fez’s heart to warm like it was in front of a bonfire. This warmth that grew over his body made him reflex his fingers to hold onto her thigh, fully grabbing it. She went blank feeling the electricity from his touch and dampness in her pajama shorts.

“…The medieval art?” he asked, afraid he made her uncomfortable but not wanting to let go of her. “Oh yeah…” she looked up at him “Um, in a lot of medieval paintings like especially family photos women would carry ferrets.” there, she was back and he relaxed probing her to continue “Ferrets?”. She laughed “Yeah they’re like weasels, like longs furry slinky’s.” Fez almost coughed up the bite of food in his mouth from her remark which cause her to laugh “They always had these ferrets with them cause they were like a good luck charm for fertility.” Fez's eyes widened. She nodded “Yeah, wild and they would even have them in their rooms while fucking. Hoping it would help bring them a baby.” with a suggestive glance Fez asked, “You learn all dis from reading?”. 

God she was praying the absence of light in her room could hide her obvious tomato coloured cheeks. “Yeah it seems weird but at least I know to never get a ferret as a pet.” she laughed. “You ont like kids?” he questioned becoming serious all of the sudden. Blinking at him she replied “Hm? no? … I just- I wouldn’t want one anytime soon…” she said worried she offended Fez with her lame joke, but he moved past it quickly. 

“You know the more time you spend with kids you realize they smarter than adults.” taking in his words she answered with a small “hm”. 

“Like life distracts us and complicates shit and maturity is just stupidity adults hide behind.” Fez claimed. “Well if that’s true then everyone that goes to east highland are extremely mature.” she jokes causing Fez to chuckle but quickly reply “Except you.”. taken aback she lets out a breathy “really?”. She quirked her eyebrows at Fez “Yeah ma you one of the smartest women I’ve ever met.”. 

That would have been a minimal compliment from anybody except Fez, who was raised by his grandmother, one of the only people he’s ever loved, he believed she was the smartest woman in the world and claiming y/n wasn’t far behind was like saying his vows for Fez. With a genuine “thanks fez.” she looked down again shyly. 

“When’s the last time you ate?”

“Hm?” Fez’s question caused her to look back up “You went off on me not starving but what about you?”. Fez’s care made her whole body temperature go up at least 50 degrees “I- I already brushed my teeth.” she stated pointing at her lips. Fez scoffed dramatically “So did I.” which made her smile. “I care about my hygiene y/n.” Fez rolled his eyes to make her laugh even more “Sorry Fez.” she joined in on the joke making her movements more comical. “So have a chip to earn my forgiveness.” He angled the plate towards her “But it’ll make my breath stink.” she argued “And the mustard on that sandwich hasn’t made mine?” he pushed. She looked into Fez’s eyes deeper, confessing “Fez you could smell like literal dog shit and I wouldn’t care.”. he wasn’t sure if that statement was supposed to make his dick twitch but the knowledge that her seemingly sarcastic joke was her way of saying she liked being around him, made blood continue to rush to his groin. 

Fez picked up a chip and silently placed it on her lips which she rolled her eyes at, but took in her mouth. “Mhm that’s good.” she moaned as she grabbed more from his plate. Fez was just trying to make it look like the feeling of her lips on his fingers didn’t make him feel like he could hear angels sing and almost completely forget about the bloody things he had done a couple of hours earlier. 

She went on to explain to Fez how one of Amrita Sher-Gil’s portraits was basically the first diss track, as she felt he enjoyed her ramblings on fertility ferrets in medieval paintings enough to talk about one of her favourite painters. 

Fez could tell she was getting tired since her speech almost started to become as slow as his and seeing that she ate all of the contents on his plate a while ago he thought he’d suggest for her to get some rest. “Ma, I don’t wanna keep you up you should get sum sleep.” Fez turned his head towards her resisting the urge to cup her face. She yawned “Fine, but you have to stay.”. 

Fez looked into her eyes contemplating leaving in case she’d do something she’d regret “…fine.”. She smiled jumping up like she had gained all her energy back. Grabbing his plate and now thawed bag of peas she ran on her tiptoes out of the room. 

With the click of the door, Fez was left in silence. He felt his phone vibrate grabbing to unlock it. 

“ash: where tf u @????”

“fez: im out.”

“ash: u think it a good idea bein' out rn?”

“fez: ill be back in the morn.”

“ash: where r u fez”

“fez: ill be back in the morning.”

“ash: fuck FINE”

Fez was so annoyed with Ashtrays interrogation he didn’t hear her door open. "What are you doing?” Fez jumped a little “I was texting Ashtray” she came closer standing in front of the bed. “No I mean what you’re wearing, I thought only psychopaths wear jeans when they sleep?” now fully in bed, swaddled in her comforter she looked up at him waiting. Fez anxiously chuckled. if she asked him to cut off both his legs right now looking at him like that… he’d do it. 

“Aite close your eyes.” he said standing up. She quickly covered her eyes with her palms. "You have boxers on right?” She felt the bed dip and comforter open “Yes I have boxers on.”.

Taking her hand off her face, she looked into his eyes “I ain’t a man whore y/n.” Fez smirked at her which made her smile. “I know that.” she whispered as their faces were now as close as they were when he first came through her window. they smiled and looked into each other's eyes till Fez said softly “come er.”. She happily scooted into him, holding onto his upper waist and laying her head on his chest trying not to be too loud when sniffing in his scent. Fez held onto her waist and shoulder, keeping her as close to his body as possible looking down at her she said “you know for a non-man whore you sure do give it up fast for the first night.”. Fez laughed at her like her jokes could never get old or stop completely surprising him. She continued “if you wanted to cuddle me so badly you could have just said that at the beginning and we’d be here way faster.”. “am I really giving off that vibe?” Fez laughed. “no I’m just teasing you.” she said scrunching her face. 

He looked into her eyes like he wanted to devour her which made what he then said surprising to y/n “You know this ain’t a date right?”. With her confidence now depleted she felt embarrassed and rejected even though she was joking before and had her legs tangled with his. She scoffed trying to play it cool “Yeah Fez, jeez I’m not a kid.” he looked confused saying “Nah nah I know I mean… if I took you on a date, it be like a real date like to the diner or sum romantic shit.” he ended confidently. “oh.” she looked down now blushing then looked back up at him “Well if you asked me to go on a date to some romantic place like the diner… I’d say yes.”. fez smiled with his teeth “Would you go on a date wit me y/n?” he questioned with audible excitement. “I’d love to… but you can't ghost me, can't leave after tonight with no texts and expect me to wait by the phone for you.”. “Pft like I’d do that?” he played but y/n’s face became humourless “Fez.”. “I promise, I promise!” he said almost lifting his hands up to show defeat “good.” y/n smiled rubbing her cheek into his chest. With her eyes closed, she finally allowed herself to lull to bed. 

Fez felt regret at that moment. He wished he would have lied to y/n. He should have convinced her he wasn’t hungry. Maybe if he didn’t down the sandwich she made him he’d be able to grow some balls and kiss her. But he was too insecure about his breath and wanted the first time he kissed her to be perfect. So he just looked down at her in adoration knowing that if he hadn’t of acted on his gut tonight he wouldn’t be falling asleep with a smile on his face and the girl of his dreams in his arms. 

Then it hit him. How innocent she was compared to him, how cruel he was compared to her delicate nature. Scared that by bringing her into his life he would break her like the leaves she once talked to him about. But he never felt the way he does about her for anyone else, in all honesty, he never thought he would. Fezco always imagined having a girlfriend as something that would do more bad than good. Sure he has had casual sex but he never muttered more than five words at them just wanting to get from point a to b not really caring who with. Dealing with a whole girlfriend on top of all of his other extreme stressors seemed pointless. He'd never thought he would want to open up to someone that deeply or have feelings for someone that was even close to love. But with y/n… he wanted it all. To learn everything about her, to share everything about himself with her, to become a part of her life, to spend more moments wrapped in each other’s arms, to listen to her ramble about her random interests, to laugh with her, to make love with her, to love her and to protect her… He knew if he was going to allow himself to try his wants with her he’d have to promise to himself that’d he would protect her in any way possible.

[edna-skiffens]

The Best Medicine

Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff

A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.

Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.

Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.

You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.

Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.

“Nope.”

“So no sleep again, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”

“Not being in the hospital.”

He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.

“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”

“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.

“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”

“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.

“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”

“I’ll be here.”

About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”

“Always.”

“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.

“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.

“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”

“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.

“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”

“Right. Right.”

“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”

“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”

“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”

“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.

“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”

You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.

“My story that boring?”

“Obviously.”

“Your sarcasm has no end.”

“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”

Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.

You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.

“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.

“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.

“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”

“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”

“Mhm.” You barely respond.

“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”

Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.

“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.

Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.

You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Better. Ready to get out of here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”

“Okay.”

“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.

You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.

You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.

You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.

He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.

It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.

Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.

“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.

He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.

Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.

“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.

“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.

Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.

Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.

“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.

You smiled up to him sweetly.

“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”

“Sleeping in my own bed.”

“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”

“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”

“What’s that?” He asks.

“The pudding cups.”

“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.

“They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”

His smile grew wider as you giggled.

“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”

“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”

“That’d be wise.”

“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”

“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”

“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”

“Ah. Do you like him?”

“Sorry?”

“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”

“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.

“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”

“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.

“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.

“Neither.”

“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”

“Oh I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.

“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.

“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”

“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”

“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.

“Are you getting sleepy?”

“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”

You thought for a moment before asking your question.

“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.

“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.

“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.

“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.

“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.

“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”

“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”

You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.

“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.

You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.

Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.

You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.

When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.

“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.

You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.

“I’m happy right now.”

He smiled down at you.

“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”

The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.

“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.

He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.

“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”

Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.

When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.

The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.

But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.

The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.

“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.

“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”

You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.

“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”

“I say that sounds amazing.”

She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.

“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.

“Thanks Tanya.”

“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.

You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.

“Y/N! How are we doing today?”

“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.

“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.

You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.

Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.

“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.

“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”

“Okay we’ll be right in.”

Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.

An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.

“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.

“Tom. What are you still doing here?”

“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.

“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”

“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.

You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.

He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”

When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.

“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.

“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.

“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.

Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.

You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.

Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.

Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.

You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.

Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.

“Hi, I’m Taylor.”

“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.

“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.

“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.

“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.

“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.

“You good?”

You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”

He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”

This was it. This was goodbye.

“Thanks, Tom.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.

“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.

“Thanks.”

“So how are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.

“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”

You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,

Y/N,

In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.

555-5555

P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.

Tom

The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.

One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.

Lmk if you want to be on my tag list

[good-beans]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love!

Ahhh thank you @fayesdiary for tagging me!! What a sweet tag game ;-;

Point of No Return - (fe echoes, 19k words)

This one is an au in which Lukas goes crazy goes stupid after selling his soul to Duma and becoming a witch. It was a ton of fun to write, and I’m so proud of the project as a whole. It involved some interesting character analysis and it’s my longest fic (both in its word count and the amount of time I planned, brainstormed, wrote, and edited)!

Don’t Leave Me - (mp100, 3k words)

This is a shimamine story focusing on what happened to Minegishi after the Mogami incident on WD day, and their complex feelings for Shimazaki while being saved/let down by him. I was always real happy with how it turned out! As much as I love Claw Minegishi, I always struggle with their characterization (especially when catching feelings in the middle of everything) so I’m always excited when I’m this satisfied with an end result.

Seeing Red - (fe echoes 4k words)

This is about Lukas reuniting with that jerk brother he mentions in the game after everything’s gone down. It was nice to write, and despite still being focused on Lukas, it was my first time writing anything for Mathilda -- and jumping right into her pov was fun. I also enjoyed incorporating several of my own headcanons for Lukas’s family/post-canon events.

How to Grow a Plant From Scratch... - (mp100, 900 words)

This one’s a humorous how-to loosely from Minegishi’s pov, reflecting their life after changing their ways. I know this is just a short and silly thing, but it was so much fun to write in a different style/format that my traditional fics! I’d written it in class after a long period of writer’s block, and it felt so good to revisit my emotions on healing Minegishi...

What Lies at the End - (fe echoes, 7k words)

And this one’s about Forsyth’s knighting ceremony. This is old writing for me (definitely had me cringing rereading some parts, haha), but it was a big writing milestone for me and so always holds a special place in my heart. At the time, it was my longest story written both in word count and process time. Unlike my previous stuff, it involved getting input from others, actual research, and outlining. It also gave me a huge boost in confidence right when I started posting art/writing to the public -- if you look at the dates, it’s part of the set of the very first writing I ever shared!

Aahh trying to remember mutuals who write -- I’m gonna tag @chinchillasinunison, @windywhispers, @annalyticall, @ging-ler, @nie7027, @jannede, @thepatchycat 

[temeraire]

Hi again!! I finished exit strategy and as murderbot would say this is Too Many emotions!!! Ahhh I ABSOLUTELY agree with what you say about the story highlighting the importance of mb’s agency, that was so clear with the ending of this book. Like the contrast to the end of all systems red when it was facing the possibility of ending up as a ‘pet robot,’ while at the end of exit strategy it was given the choice to live how it wishes, on its own terms as you mentioned. I was so happy the book ended like that, also with the preservation team coming to understand this!! It’s so good!!

Also a random small detail I loved was mb being excited at the possibility of having a documentary on the entertainment feed at the end!! Also also the whole buildup during the book towards mb meeting the preservation team again, it was so well written I felt so nervous and their reunion just gave me even more Feelings!!

I also love art and its relationship with mb so much too!!! I rly hope it comes back somehow in the next 2 books! And I’m extra excited for the novel now!! Thanks so much for the tips, I’ll get started on fugitive telemetry next! Hope u have a great day!! :DDDD

YEAAAAH i really love that the books didnt just have "presaux bought mb's contract up and it was happily ever after" but instead showed that while presaux did what they thought was right, it was still something that mb had no say in. instead mb got to go off by itself and exist on its own terms and come back of its own volition and presaux respected that and they came to a better understanding :D it really is so good like WHO else is doing it like the mb books!!

YES i love how genuinely excited mb is about its media and how emphatic the series is about how media shapes us and our perceptions and how we view things (have you noticed all the times mb mentions how secunits are portrayed in media - terrifying, etc - and how it uses those words to refer to itself?) so it's really nice that mb gets to have that level of agency and control about its own portrayal this time around, as well as being able to Talk to someone about its experiences. and yeah MAN mb meeting the presaux team again :') i love. them

I WILL NOT SPOIL THE NEXT BOOKS but yes i adore art it would be a shame if it never showed up again ;))) i wonder if it will ever make another appearance ;))))

also, it totally slipped my mind, there's a short story that takes place after exit strategy!! it was posted free on tor.com (the publisher), and it's from mensah's point of view. i really love it a lot

[dontrollthedicesideblog]

AHHHHHH I just realized ur theeee hydrocarbon and now I gotta bust into ur asks to say. HELLO!!! I LOVE YOUR FANFIC

I've been so excited for every update. Your version of Yu is probably my favorite out of all the fanfica I've read. I just love the way ur able to incorporate what would feel like in game dailogue options before settling on one he would pick. And I do love how u write his struggle with wanting to stay I Inaba. Which in most fics have him want to stay cause of his friends which I get but like!!! WHAT ABOUT Nanako AND Dojima. That's his fam ;-;

Ahhh I could also go on and on about yosuke and his relationships with everyone too. SO MANY SIBLING DYNAMICS. Ur little brother teddie is great. And I always like to think. As much as yosuke gets mad at him it's like...he still cares for him. In game he still knows when to back off and tell him he's always welcome. And of course YUKARI AND YOSUKE. ahh the trauma ahh the healing. It's been soooo 😚👌💖 following them along their journey. Overcoming themselves and growing closer again. I just wanna cry.. I can't wait to see more of them from u :D

And ONE MORE THING. BUT I JUST NEED U TO KNOW . I am such a sucker for a yu that can hide honesty in his jokes. The "cute cute cute" thoughts and cheek pinches.....feels like a slice of reddie (which I hope u don't mind me saying. It's one of my fav dynamics so it was just nice to see again hehe 😅)

AAAA HELLO???? hi i love your art so much (if you uh. couldnt tell from the ask i sent you) when i saw this was from you i went all alksdjflksadjf for a little bit 👉👈

thank you so much for affirming my Characterization Choices with yu bc oh wow! that boy can fit so many characters in him and near the beginning of the fic in question i was still trying to find my footing with who i wanted him to be. but i feel like no matter what, nanako is priority to him. and like. dojima has his issues in canon but hes not a bad guy and yu's still his family. i want this family unit to be a thing so bad 😭

oh yosuke has like peak sibling dynamic vibes with everyone he interacts with and i think its hilarious. i am a hanamura bros enjoyer first and person second ☝️ you are so right!!! they annoy each other a lot but they still care so much about each other :( and it's been very fun taking apart canon and putting them together like lego pieces for yukari and yosukes story. i hope you enjoy whats to come!

YU THAT CAN HIDE HONESTY IN HIS JOKES thats peak characterization, i love seeing that in other fics so much. its one of my favorite tropes of like "haha you think this is a joke but i am being so honest right now :)" i just think that is very neat. im happy you think so too!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE KIND WORDS :((( i spent so much time just staring at this message and grinning, i really appreciate the thought you put into this :')

[arigatouiris]

an inconvenient crush // kozume kenma x reader (2/2)

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for the support! I really appreciate people coming in and telling me you liked my story! Makes me feel so loved and valid, I can’t even begin to tell you how special it makes me feel. Here’s the final part! Do let me know what you think! Thank you so much :”)

Word count: 4k+

Pairing: YouTuber! Kenma Kozume x Streamer! Reader

Summary: YouTuber Kozume Kenma has had the biggest crush on Twitch Streamer, (s/n) (y/n), who in actuality simps heavily after Kenma’s secret YouTube persona, puddinghead0.

What happens when their paths cross?

Kuroo is honestly tired of Kenma’s second-guessing, and (y/n) is a bit of a crackhead.

Warnings: unrequited love, one-sided crush, slight angst, pining, crackhead reader, internet bullying, slang, gaming references, haikyuu manga spoilers, fluff

C h a p t e r T w o: kozume in love

Kenma chuckled when he heard you scream over the controller. The both of you were currently fighting a boss named Martyr Logarius, and while you had beaten the game once, playing it in Newgame+ was extra hard. Kenma was certainly helping, but you had made a silly mistake and died for the fourth time in a row.

    "You're dodging too early," Kenma said, still chuckling, "But it is entertaining to see you dodge in such panic."

    "Shut up," You groaned over the microphone, earning more chuckles from him, "I'm trying, okay?"

    "You beat this game, you said?"

    "Ahhh!"

Kenma laughed some more, now covering his face with his hand. He could hear you laugh out of frustration as well, but while this entire orchestration felt funny to both of you, Kenma's heart bubbled dangerously. He loved the sound of your voice, and he absolutely adored the way you groaned and cursed at the bosses each time you died or each time you defeated them. You were good, and even as the game tested you, you trod on. He could see you loved gaming in its entirety, and slowly, he was learning more about you.

    "I need a beer." You sighed.

    "This game does that to you," Kenma leaned back against his bean bag, "I mean... Not to burst your bubble, but you do suck."

    "Oye," You warned playfully, "I'm a streamer."

    "Anyone can stream, (y/n)."

There was silence on the other end after that, but Kenma didn't think it was anything odd. The co-oping between you two was going on for a few days now, and it would last up to 5-7 hours at most. It was strange that despite college, you two managed to find time to sit and play, but after a point, it had become more than just the game. You began to crave his voice, crave the way he'd be there, whenever you were about to run low on health, he'd come over and give you time to heal.

Co-oping with Kenma was fun because it felt, oddly, as if he really cared.

    "(y/n)?"

    "I always thought you sounded familiar," Kenma blinked, "But I think hearing you say more words sort of... gave it away."

    "Gave what away?" Kenma's heart was pounding now.

    "Kozume-kun," He didn't want to hear the rest, "Are you puddinghead0?"

It took him several seconds to process what you said. He could practically feel his heart beat against his ears, and he could sense you getting impatient at him as well.

    "Kozume—"

    "How did you know?"

You took a few moments to answer.

    "I... I've been a fan for too long not to recognize your voice, really. I just... I guess I had to hear you through the microphone to instantly pick it up? I don't know I... Why didn't you tell me?"

    "I didn't want you to know."

    "Oh," His heart broke at how low you sounded. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't ask you because I knew you were him or anything! I asked you as Kozume—"

    "Right."

    "No, listen," You were panicking now, "I assure you, I didn't know until recently. I didn't even think... I never—"

    "What did you picture him as, (y/n)?"

    "What do you—"

    "I'm sure you pictured him as someone different, right? It must disappoint you that someone you admire is in fact, a regular college student—"

    "Don't say that! I really enjoy playing with you, and... I never even pictured how you'd look in the first place!"

    "Sure—"

    "Can we meet? Please, let me just—"

    "Not happening. It was nice playing with you, (y/n). I hope you get the platinum—"

    "Please, don't do this."

When Kenma hesitated, he knew that it was no longer an inconvenient crush. His fingers trembled and he couldn't look away from the television screen. His chest hurt and he was certain that his shirt was drenched.

    "Please, let's—"

    "Where do you want to... meet?"

    "Oh, thank goodness," Your genuine relief made him want to laugh, "I was so certain you'd hang up. Oh, thank god. Uh, I don't know. You live near campus?"

He narrowed his eyes, "What campus?"

    "Tokyo University?"

    "You go here too?"

    "Literature student! You go here? You mean to say the puddinghead0 goes to—"

    "Please, just never call me that, okay?"

    "Where do you want to meet?"

    "I... Just come to campus, we'll figure it out."

What normally took Kenma 12 minutes took him 17 now. He spent some time pacing back and forth on whether to go or not, before understanding that he couldn't back out after assuring you that he'd be there. He wondered if you would come as a fan or as his friend (were you his friend?), but the foremost thing that Kenma worried about was what your interaction with him would be about. Why did you want to meet him? What explanation did you want to give?

Maybe she wants to thank me, he thought as he walked forward, finally bucking up and realizing that he might actually need to meet you alone as himself.

He noticed that you were waiting outside the gates of the campus, airpods plugged in, head rocking lightly to some music that you were listening to. From a distance, you caught sight of him and waved almost hesitantly, shooting his heart to the skies. Your hair was tied in a messy bun and you were wearing anime merch, a Bakugou shirt with regular jeans. No matter what you wore, Kenma thought you were ridiculously pretty. Kenma had always thought you were pretty, from the very first video that you uploaded. He caught your stream in Kuroo's laptop when he had come over, and apparently it was your first time. You were hesitant and shy, but it gradually died down the more you played. Kenma found himself laughing so much that it alerted Kuroo, who had understood right away that you held a special place in Kenma's mind since no one could make Kenma laugh quite like you could.

When he was a few feet away from you, you looked at him awkwardly before he noticed you were red-faced. Is she... blushing?

    "U-Uh, yeah so uh," She was so nervous that it was making him feel weird, "I don't want to treat you differently but I just realized that I was gushing to you about puddinghead not knowing that you are, in fact, puddinghead and god, I feel like an idiot."

Kenma had to laugh at that before shaking his head, "It's fine, I don't get too many compliments anyway."

    "You had me simping all over you and you knock that down as compliments? Please teach me the art of modesty, senpai."

Kenma laughed some more before letting out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. You were taking breaths now yourself; you were standing beside someone who had literally inspired you to start streaming gameplay, and you had no idea that you were playing alongside him all this while until he had practically confirmed it not too long ago. Of course, a part of you felt weird that he never told you himself, but perhaps he wanted to keep it a secret. Also...

He had been watching your streams. Kenma had admitted that as himself the first time you had met. You could practically die.

    "There's this cafe down this road," You said, suddenly feeling a lot bolder, "We won't have to stand around awkwardly then."

    "Alright."

The walk wasn't quiet, you were desperately trying to think of something to talk about, and you were mumbling a few things here and there about Bloodborne, and he commented back; but neither of you found your heart in the conversation and kept going because you didn't know how to handle the silence. While you admired Kenma, Kenma was also aware that you had no idea the feelings he had for you.

It made him feel a bit inadequate, and he wasn't sure how to take it.

When you reached the cafe, Kenma and yourself took the seats outside. You took in his appearance properly for the first time that evening; his hair tied in a messy, loose ponytail and wearing baggy clothing with black jeans and sneakers. Kenma was gorgeous, you wouldn't deny that, especially now that your heart was bubbling with excitement over how he was your YouTube idol. Strangely, his question rang in your mind:

What did you picture him as, (y/n)?

Your eyes softened at Kenma as he checked his phone for a minute; unable to look away. You stared at him the way folks stare at a rainbow, taking in all that unexpected beauty, not wanting to look away in case it might disappear. You felt yourself blushing when he looked up to meet your gaze, almost feeling time stop. But, you were too much of an overthinker to let that happen.

I'm sure you pictured him as someone different, right? It must disappoint you that someone you admire is in fact, a regular college student—

    "Kozume-kun," What am I doing? "I can't picture anyone but you."

He was now staring at you like you were an idiot mumbling rubbish. He gulped, you could see the rise and fall of his adam's apple, but he wasn't saying a word.

    "A few months ago, when I started the channel on Twitch, I could do it only because of you. You inspired me to upload my own gameplay because I now had a platform to be proud of it. But as Kozumu-kun, you gave me the courage to not only be proud of my gameplay but to see what's actually important," You smiled as you said, "Fun."

    "You're giving me way too much credit."

You shook your head, "We don't always realize how little exchanges that we have with people cause ripple effects. Playing with you these past few days reminded me of what streaming for views made me forget. Views don't matter, the fun does. I let those comments get to me because the views mattered to me, and they still do. But, that's not everything. I learned that from you."

Kenma didn't know what to say.

    "So when you figured out that I was... the YouTuber—"

    "Puddinghead—"

    "—Yeah, that. Didn't you think I lied to you?"

You shook your head, "You never had a face reveal, which meant that you wanted to keep it a secret. So why would I feel like you lied? You had every reason to—"

    "Stop being so fucking adorable, it's actually pissing me off." Kenma snapped without realizing.

Both of your eyes widened—Kenma's and yours—at the words that exited his mouth. Your face was flaming at what he said, and Kenma probably felt like a suicidal ostrich. He wanted to bury his head under the ground and never rise, for that would keep him away from the embarrassment that was due; he could hear Kuroo's laughter in the distance, which made it all the worse.

    "I'm... I'm not trying to be cute, you know?" You said, tilting your head a little, playing with a strand of your hair.

Kenma frowned at you, wondering now if you were doing it on purpose.

    "What are you... doing?"

    "There's a word for it!" You pointed an index finger in the air, "Hanker sore."

Kenma scoffed, "What's that?"

    "It's finding someone so attractive that it pisses you off."

Kenma blushed, "Y-You're not all that attractive, you just... come across as cute sometimes."

Your eyes widened, "I'm a catch!"

He bit his lower lip, "Yeah, sure."

    "Hey! I am a total catch, you could like totally fall for me!"

Kenma's heart skipped a beat, "Yeah, sure."

While you were sitting across him having a struggle over how he easily pushed away your claims, Kenma stared at you like you were all he could see, and as if you were a sight that he would forget if he didn't drink in your details at this very second. A moment later, you gasped before leaning forward.

    "I think we should get something."

    "Let's actually... go get your platinum."

Your eyes widened, "You... don't mind?"

He shook his head now that he was absolutely certain, "No, let's go back."

You were beaming and thanking him, acting as if he suddenly wasn't the YouTuber you had been simping after, treating him like a separate individual that he was, behaving as you would with anyone else; Kenma's worries dissipated in thin air, he was now confident that he had fallen in love with you, mind, body, and soul—your voice had ensnared and captured him, and now, your revelation had done the deed of claiming his heart.

    "Oh, and," Kenma said, "No one will know."

You nodded before throwing him a mock salute, "Of course!"

*

You were legitimately freaking out. 

Kenma had followed you as puddinghead on your professional Twitter and you had been staring at the screen for close to an hour now. You weren't sure if the reason for your heart to be beating the way it was was because Kenma was puddinghead or because you had finally learned what puddinghead looked like, but whatever it was, the feeling was intense.

Are these feelings romantic though? You wouldn't lie, before you knew puddinghead's face, you had pictured meeting him and dating him—the regular daydreaming that a person would do for the person they were simping after. And while those thoughts were innocent, now puddinghead had a name. Puddinghead was Kozume Kenma, an attractive college student, CEO of Bouncing Ball Corp, and YouTuber. Your mind was taking you to places, and juxtaposing your previous fantasies now with Kenma's face. No, no, no, you scolded yourself before covering your face with your hand. Yes, discovering his identity is huge, but don't forget, he thinks of you as a friend!

You were about to join his party on the PSN and co-op Bloodborne again, but all you could think about were how long Kenma's fingers were when they were placed on the table before you that day when you met him in the cafe.

You were practically out of it.

    "Hey, Kozume-kun!"

    "You know you can call me Kenma, right? I call you (y/n)."

    "O-Oh," Your face reddened uncharacteristically. "R-Really?"

You heard Kenma chuckle and your heart was ready to combust, "Yeah, what's there to think about?"

Oh dear lord, "Okay. Uh... So..."

     "So."

     "Uh."

    "(y/n)?"

Fuck, "K-Kenma-kun."

Kenma had his hand covering his jaw at how cute you sounded, but you were practically jelly yourself. It wasn't easy learning the identity of your internet crush and having to play with them as friends. It wasn't easy to accept these facts and to admit that maybe, just maybe, the person that they are in real life was equally attractive.

    "We have to beat the Shadows of Yharnam today."

Did his voice always sound like velvet?

    "Hm, I've heard they were relatively easy?"

    "No," He said chuckling, "To you, they're definitely going to be a challenge."

When he chuckles, I feel like I'll die.

    "Didn't you play against them without co-op?"

    "Oh, yeah," You could practically picture him rubbing the back of his neck, "I did co-op for Gherman in the end, though."

Fuck, he's so cute!

    "What?" Kenma asked, sounding confused.

    "What?"

    "You said 'he's so cute', you mean Gherman?" You gasped, "(y/n), he's... he's an old man?"

    "Y-Yeah! Haha, I mean... Yeah. It's... I was..."

Kenma laughed before asking you to continue before you slapped yourself for making such a big fool out of yourself. Snap out of it, you scolded yourself once more. You can't like Kenma-kun just because you know he's puddinghead.

But, did you?

As days passed, you exchanged numbers with Kenma. Texting him was relatively easy since he barely tried to keep the conversation alive and you just had so much to say. Sometimes, Kenma believed he might be boring, but you kept texting him as if his personality wasn't really that much of a bother. He wasn't much of a texter, and you had caught on, a fact that didn't actually bother you. Kenma, however, would never leave you on read, would try to reply within the hour even though he doesn't text as often.

Your mind, however, revolved around the heart he had once sent you as puddinghead.

You were re-reading the tweets almost every night, and juxtaposing the image of an empty face with Kenma's. For some reason, puddinghead's image was slowly erasing itself from your mind; you became less fascinated with the YouTube persona, but instead, looked forward to hearing from his real-life identity, trying to know more about his day, about his other interests, and having learned that he was from Nekoma blew your mind since he was from a rival school.

Kenma and you often met at the cafe again, just to grab a few snacks and talk about games. It would be you most of the time who would be initiating conversation, and Kenma would listen and retort when he felt the need to. However, not once did you feel like he wasn't listening; not once did Kenma make you think you weren't keeping him engaged. His eyes were on you, his intense gaze enough to burn you to the ground. It practically had you shivering.

Your mind, however, still continued to revolve around the heart he had once sent you as puddinghead.

    "I might need to go to a volleyball game soon—"

    "Why did you send me a heart?"

Kenma froze before meeting your gaze. "What?"

You almost wanted to slap yourself but you had said it. You couldn't hold it back, you couldn't keep mulling over your thoughts and therefore, you decided to tell the source of your problems what your problems were.

    "Kenma-kun, I... I had a big crush on puddinghead," Kenma's gaze on you was unwavering, "Now that I know you're puddinghead, and... and you were the one who sent me a heart, I... I've always thought you were cute and all—"

    "(y/n)—"

    "—and it's a bit unfair if I like you only because you're puddinghead, but I gave it a lot of thought—"

    "—(y/n), listen—"

    "—and I don't want you thinking that my feelings are just because you're a famous YouTuber and I just want to like... I don't know... I enjoy every second with you and slowly I just—"

Kenma's finger tapped your forehead, freezing you in position. His cat-like eyes were boring into your soul, and there he was, face inches away from yours, expressionlessly staring into you.

    "I've been in love with you for the longest time," Kenma's voice was gold, "No pressure, though."

    "No..." What the fuck? "N-No pressure?!"

Kenma laughed at your outburst, "Yeah, I mean... I took sometime accepting it, to even think that I liked you over the internet didn't make sense to me. And then we bumped into each other and we started gaming together and I guess I understood that your internet persona was just a part of you I'd liked, and now I like you more."

Oh.

Was it really that simple?

    "So... If I liked you as puddinghead—"

    "Please don't call me that."

    "—and if I like you as Kenma-kun, then..."

Kenma sighed before offering you a sweet smile, "It's probably the same thing, (y/n). Stop worrying."

    "Can I kiss you?" You blurted out, without thought.

God, this woman, Kenma thought, before covering his jaw with his hand.

*

In less than a week, you'd learned the route to Kenma's apartment by heart. You went over to game at his place, and slowly began streaming as (y/n) again on Twitch. You didn't want to stream with Kenma yet, because you guys had just started dating a month ago. For liking you longer than you liked him, Kenma was relatively cool about you hanging over at his, and about initiating any sort of touch—because your thoughts were practically spilling out of you and as cute as he once thought they were, he didn't want you to say 'pinch me' every time he kissed you.

Kenma's hands were buried into your hair as he kissed you fervently, softly at first before pulling back to see how flushed your face was. He'd never really imagined you being here, out of the screen he saw you from, in his arms, kissing him back.

He chuckled at the thought.

    "What's so funny?" You were legitimately a crackhead, but he adored you.

    "I thought having a crush on you was very inconvenient at first."

    "Why?"

He shrugged before pulling you to his chest, your face reddening at the contact. He noticed, but simply shook his head as you buried your face into his chest.

    "Because I thought it was too good to be true."

    "Am I the one freaking out each time or are you?"

    "Yeah, that part even I don't get."

You giggled before wrapping your hands around his neck, bringing yourself closer to him. Your face was at the crook of his neck, eyes closed as his arms were wrapped around your waist. You were both currently on Kenma's couch, nuzzling with each other on a lazy class-less Monday.

Suddenly, the door opened, revealing Kenma's roommate, in all honesty, did not know how to react when a famous Twitch streamer was lying asleep on his roommate. Kenma gave him a nonchalant look before placing a finger on his lips.

    "She's asleep."

    "Y-Yeah, that's definitely what I was thinking." The roommate said before rushing to his room and locking the door.

Well, Kenma thought before bringing his hand back around your waist, That's a problem for another day.

[etoileholland]

The Sims

Pairing: Tom x female reader

Warnings: fluff, mentions of woohoo lol

Word count: 1.4k

Summary: You teach the boys how to play the Sims, which may or may not have been a good idea.

A/N: I downloaded the boys from the gallery in the Sims, and Harrison’s Sim really is this chaotic 😭 he’s nearly died at least three times and I still have no idea how it’s happened. Also the gif is not mine, all credit goes to its respective owner.

“Okay, so how do we even play?” Harrison asked as you gave him an odd glance.

“Seriously, you’ve never played the Sims before? Are you sure you’re not like a forty-five year old man in a young man’s body?” You retorted as Harrison glared at you.

“I’m not, I was always very physically active as a child. You know, like actually playing sports and running around outside, unlike someone over here who apparently played video games all day.” He replied as he shot you a side glance.

“Okay you got me there, not gonna lie.” You said as you grabbed a few Cheez-Its from the bowl that Harry was eating out of. “Basically you can design a character and live out whatever you want to do. You can be stinking rich and famous, or you can be a kleptomaniac and steal from the rich and famous. Whatever dream you want to live out really.” You added as the game loaded to the main screen.

The guys were all huddled around you on the coach, staring at the screen while you showed them how to create a Sim. “Okay so who wants to go first?” You asked and Tom raised his hand.

“Cool. You can make it look like you, or you can make yourself look totally different. You even can live together in a big house if you want, to make it more realistic.” You added as you handed Tom your laptop.

It took him about 30 minutes to create his Sim, and it looked just like him. He handed the laptop to Tuwaine as he made his own Sim, but he only spent like 10 minutes on it. Next, Harry and Sam made themselves, and lastly Harrison created his own Sim. About an hour later, the boys were ready to play.

“Aren’t you going to make your Sim too, love?” Tom asked as he handed you back the laptop.

“Nah, I already have a Sim. She’s living in Del Sol Valley, and you guys can look at the different worlds to see where you want to live.”

They all made the collective decision to live in Del Sol Valley as well, since they all had the acting career aspiration. That came as no shock to you.

“Alright, I’m not good at building houses, but if you want to look at the gallery-” you pointed at the top of the screen, “you can download one that someone else already made.”

The boys collectively “ooo-d” as they clicked around the gallery, before deciding on a modern build home that’s two stories tall, with five bedrooms.

“So in order to actually afford this house, I’m going to show you a little cheat.” You smirked as the boys became excited.

“You can cheat in this game? I already love it.” Tuwaine said as you laughed a little.

“There’s a cheat for everything, you can even cheat the gender of your children.” Tom’s eyes widened as he contemplated something.

“So we could have children together in the Sims? We need to work on that immediately.” Tom said as he pulled you onto his lap. He placed a kiss to the back of your neck and buried his head in the crook of your neck.

You did the ‘motherlode’ cheat a few times so that the boys would be able to afford the house, and then you helped them move in.

The house was beautiful, with a hot tub, a pool, a library, and an exercise room. It was massive, and you could tell they were all excited to play.

“Here, have at it.” You got up from Tom’s lap as you handed him the laptop, so that they could control their Sims.

Apparently, it was a bad idea to leave them to their own devices.

You were sitting at the kitchen island, eating a bowl of ice cream and scrolling through Instagram. Your scrolling was interrupted when you heard a blood curdling scream come from the living room.

“Ahhh, oh my god oh no I’m gonna die! Y/N I need you right now!�� Harrison screamed as you ran into the living room.

“What? What’s the matter?” You inquired as Tuwaine just pointed at the laptop screen.

“Harrison set the bloody house on fire! And no one knows how to put it out!” Tuwaine said as he was trying to click on the screen.

“Oh my gosh okay click on the fire and press ‘extinguish’. Hurry!” You instructed as Harrison did the action. It worked, but Harrison was charred black, and his moodlet was ‘very tense’.

“I have no idea how that happened. I was trying to make pancakes for everyone but instead I caught myself on fire, along with the stove and the counter.” He stated as he showed you the damage.

“Well, when art imitates life.” Harry said as Sam gave him a high five. Harrison then smacked Harry on the arm, and Harry let out an “ow!” before pouting.

“Boys, boys, play nicely. You can replace everything, it’s okay.” You said, rubbing Harrison’s back.

“Will do.” Harrison said as he fixed up his Sim and they continued to play.

Less than thirty minutes later, Harrison screamed again.

“Oh my god my Sim has a death wish! He got struck by lighting when he went to take out the garbage. I didn’t even know that could happen!” Harrison said as he set the laptop on the coffee table, and got up dramatically, throwing his arms in the air to signify that he’d surrendered.

“I’m done, I don’t want to play the Sims anymore.” He pouted as he put his arms around you, and pulled you into a hug.

“Oh angel, I’m sorry your Sim is so chaotic. It’s okay though, it’s just a game.” You cooed as you rubbed circles on his back. “Why don’t you go have some ice cream or something? That’ll cheer you up.” You said as he nodded, letting go of you and trudging to the kitchen.

“Hey look! Y/N your Sim came over to visit!” Tom said as he grabbed the laptop so he could control it. “I’m going to make you fall in love with me right now.” He smirked as he made a move on your Sim. He flirted enough so that the option “woohoo in a hot tub” appeared, and without hesitation Tom clicked it faster than the speed of light.

“Now this I want to see!” He said as he rubbed his hands together and licked his lips. He saw your Sim and his walk over to the hot tub, and the boys were staring intently as well to see what would happen. They all wooed and cheered as your Sims hopped in, and they were curious to see what would happen next.

Your Sim straddled Tom’s waist, and they both fell backwards into the water. Tom’s Sim raised a finger and motioned for your Sim to come over, and she jumped on him, pushing him underwater.

“This is a child’s game?!” Sam said as they couldn’t tear their gaze away from the woohoo-ing sims. Not gonna lie, it was pretty hot watching Sim ‘you’ and Sim ‘Tom’ go at it, hot and heavy.

Hearts came up from the water, and your Sims emerged, before deciding to make out with each other.

“Need me a freak like that.” Sam exclaimed as Harry high fived him.

“Damn that was hot. They should really stick that on Pornhub.” Tuwaine said as everyone broke out into a fit of laughter.

“Phew, I don’t know about you but that’s got me feeling some type of way.” Tom said as he wiped a bead of sweat from his face.

“Same here.” You said as you moved onto Tom’s lap so that you straddled him.

“Oh my god don’t recreate it here!” Harry said as he covered his eyes.

“Wanna woohoo?” Tom asked as you giggled, pressing your lips to his. He pulled away and stood up, before carrying you to your shared bedroom. Your legs were still around his waist as he became more aggressive with your kisses, and you moaned slightly as he locked the bedroom door behind you two.

The boys shared a glance as they realised that you two would be preoccupied for a while. “Hey hand me the laptop, let’s see what other bad things can happen to Harrison’s Sim.” Harry smirked as they huddled around the laptop, continuing to play the game.

——

Additional A/N: Is this the dumbest thing I’ve ever written? Yes, yes it is. Also, is your girl so touch starved during quarantine that seeing sims woohoo in a hot tub suddenly became too steamy? Also yes.

mes petits anges (taglist): @scarletxwidow​ @sunflowerhollands​ @fangirlwithasweettooth​ @taciturnspidey​ @musicalkeys​ @harrysleftchelseaboot​ @quaksonhehe​ @halfblood-princess-505​

[butter-egg-toast]

YouTuber Girlfriend ▶️

I got a bunch of requests for this one. . 👍

Requested by @dragonwolfs

Long post be prepared.

I'm so sorry I couldn't think of Albert, Kadea, and Aii

Enjoy 🤗

Haru: 🎨

🌙You're a mix media ArtYouTuber.

🌙You do various art forms like painting sculpture, Ink art, ceramics, etc.

🌙You're usually not on Camara, most of your videos are focused on your art work.

🌙On some occasions Haru would draws something for you

🎨" Look (y/n), it's a Mackerel sculpture"-Haru

🌙 Haru gives art tips on the channel for beginners.

🎨"Art and swimming are similar...just go with the flow"-Haru

🌙He goes shopping with you for art supplies.

🎨" We literally only bought 4 items and it came to 40 dollars?!-Haru

🌙You and Haru did a couple of drawing challenges like:

Draw with left hand challenge,

Draw each other challenge

Draw with your eyes closed challenge

🌙At the end of the day Haru secretly enjoy making art with you.

🌙You have a simple following of 50k

Channel name: HoneycombArts.

Matoko: 🐱

🌙You're an animal YouTuber

🌙You work at a pet adoption center. So you encounter different types animals like:

Cats, dog, rabbits, birds, and many more

🌙You invited Matoko to help you with the feral kittens and cats; immediately after hissing at you and the other employees they warm up to Matoko.

🐱"Wow.. they really love me!"-Matoko

😸" Woah Her fur is so fuffy and pretty"-Matoko

🌙You give tips about properly taking care of animals.

🌙Matoko usually not on Camara that much (he's kinda shy)

🌙But when he is on Camara, The videos with the most views are usually with Matoko washing kittens.

🐱"You want to make sure the kitty is calm and not scared of you. Make sure you talk to them to calm them."-Makoto

🐱"Its okay little guy, you're gonna be a nice and clean kitty"-Makoto

🌙 You have a simple following 80k

Channel name: PreciousPets

Nagisa: 🎬

🌙You're a movie/TV show commentator. Comedy skits, you comment on badly movie reviews or simple commentary.

🌙You and Nagisa something reenact scenes from movies and TV shows.

🎬" Oi!!! Look at me when I'm talking to you *bad acting*" -Nagisa

🌙Nagisa cant get his lines right and he always laugh. That's what makes it charming.

🎬" Dont go...I..ummm... *laugh* I forgot (y/n) chan.. what's the line again?"-Nagisa.

🌙Sometimes there are cheesy skits you do together for fun.

🌙 there are some occasions were both of you and Nagisa forgot your lines and you both had to improv.

🎬" Noooooo... how.. could you betray me? Nagisa fell to his knees. "Well...you shouldn't have took my... taco.." trying your best to hold in your laughter. Nagisa confused at your choice of words. "Eh?..."-Nagisa

🌙He Loves being on Camara most of the time

You have a simple following 50k to 80k

Channel name: Tomatometer

Rei: 📘

🌙You're a History YouTuber. Educational videos, learning , science, and technology

🌙 You go over the latest new technology and you have sponsors that send you laptops and phones

🌙You have a mini segment were Rei goes over interesting fun science facts

📘"The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue"-Rei

📘" People who speak two languages may unconsciously shift their personalities when they switch from one language to another.

🌙 You and Rei do a myth busting, where you answer questions from viewers.

🌙There was even a time were you both performed a chemistry experiment that failed.

📘" *cough * see this is why its important to have safety precautions"-Rei

You have a simple following of 50k to 60k

Channel name: Learn Something Today

Rin: 🛠

🌙You're a DIY YouTuber, building and create easy life hacks

🌙You build random projects you find on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest or viewers suggestion

🛠" (y/n)? That a cool sculpture"-Rin

🌙Rin is never in your videos. The only time he showed his face is when you both did a challenge together.

🛠" Woah!! This looks complicated. But nothing's too complicated for me. What do we need ,(y/n)?"-Rin

🌙Rin sometimes goes shopping with you to find your supplies.

🛠 "Huh?! This is a lot of wood (y/n), what are you making today?"-Rin

🛠" what type of wood you need?"-Rin

🌙You sometimes give away or sell your projects depending on the occasion.

🌙Rin helps with your projects on his day off, because he's curious how the project will turn out.

You have a simple following of 80k

Channel name: Fix it Make it

Souskue: 🥙

🌙You're a cooking Youtuber

🌙Sousuke something does voice overs talking about cooking traditional Japanese food and giving cooking tips.

🥙" Okonomiyaki is a simple pancake that is cook with cabbage."-Souskue

🌙People always send you emails asking to show your boyfriends face because they love his voice so much.

🥙" They really like me? I dont think my sounds like honey"-Souskue

🌙You sometimes do food challenge and completions with your friends and Souskue. (Souskue always win)

🌙You make a variety foods all over the world

🥙"Can you cook pork cutlets?"-Souskue

🌙The meals you and Souskue cook, you both give to homeless shelters and orphanages.

🌙Every special occasion you bake a themed caked.

🥙"Is that a shark?! How did you make this?!"-Sousuke

You have a simple following of 70k

Channel name: Cookie dough gummies

Momo: 🎮

🌙You're a Gaming YouTuber

🌙You play a wide variety of games like horror, dating Sims, action,Platformers, 3D, and many more

🌙Multiplayer with all your friends (Among us)

🌙Momo definitely loves playing adventures and scifi games with you

🌙Momo likes to bring Puyysuke with him to the gaming sessions.

🎮"Puyysuke is good luck!!"-Momo

🎮"Puyysuke is just as excited as I am with this game. "-Momo

🌙You and momo sometimes compete with each other in fighting and racing games.

🎮"Awwww no fair (y/n) that's cheating !!"-Momo

🎮" Ahhh how you keep winning"-Momo

You have a simple following of 60k

Channel name: Beetle juice

Seijour: 💪

🌙You're a health and fitness Youtuber

🌙Health and fitness tips from professionals and Seijour.

💪"Having a perfect form is the most important and effective way of succeeding"-Seijour

🌙Breaking down the human body to benefit different bodies types.

💪" This exercise plan I used on the samzuka swim team. I guaranteed you will bulk up👍"-Seijour

💪No pain no gain. Keep pushing YOUR ALMOST THERE!!! You can do it!!"-Seijour

🌙 You and Seijour do couples yoga on sundays.

💪"Dont worry (y/n) I got you. Just relax your muscles"-Seijour

You have a simple following 80k

Channel name: You're lifestyle

Kisumi: 💄

🌙You're a beauty YouTuber.

🌙Hes pretty much on your channel 24/7. Everyone loves the both of you.

🌙You do make up challenges, skin care tips, and themed make up looks.

💄"Niacinamide and hyaluronic acid are the best together on your skin"-Kisumi

🌙 You and kisumi have challenges where you do each other's makeup.

💄" Eh? I used the wrong color?! Haha sorry "-Kisumi

💄"I hope I'm not too rough with your face. Let me know."-Kisumi

🌙Kisumi did a voice over on one of your tutorials twice.

💄" Now shes applying blush on...oohhwow that's a cute shade on her..its really cute (y/n)"-Kisumi

💄" wow that makes (y/n) eyes pop!"-Kisumi

🌙Kisumi loves to do seasonal makeup tutorials with you.

🌙He even let you do some makeup on him.

💄" Woah I look like a kpop male idol! How did you did that??!"-Kisumi

You have a simple following of 90k

Channel name: Velvet lips

Asahi: 🔎

🌙You're a Horror theme YouTuber

🌙Discuss Mysteries and Paranormal activity all over the world, Unsolved crimes. Mysteries death and conspiracies theories

🔎"That's interesting.. has the crime been solved?"-Asahi.

🌙Asahi is not into the paranormal because he doesn't believe in it. However, because you like, he's curious about the stuff you talk about.

🔎"wow that monster is 8 foot tall!! And it was seen in Japan??!!"-Asahi

🔎" mmmhh.. that picture is kinda convincing"-Asahi

🌙There was a time where you, Asahi, Hiyori And kisumi went to explore an abandoned house on the countryside that is known for huntings

🔎"oh... (y/n) do you want me to hold your hand if your scared?"-Asahi

🔎"huh? That noise? It may have been a rat"-Asahi

You have a simple following of 70k

Channel name: Mystery XE

Ikuya:💻

🌙You're a Anmaition Youtuber, sometime you animate your story times and do little funny Anmaition, and music video Anmaition.

*The time I accidentally pranked my teacher story time*

*Middle school experience * story time

*Worst family vacation ever* story time

*Creey encounter at work ft Ikuya* story time

*How I met my boyfriend ft Ikuya* story time

🌙Ikuya something gives you ideas for a Anmaition.

💻"How about do a little mermaid Anmaition?"-Ikuya

💻"This is cute a Anmaition, you think you can teach me how to do it?-Ikuya

🌙 You created a Anmaition for Ikuyas birthday with one of his favorite songs.

💻" I love ever bit of this. You really know what I like"-Ikuya

You have a simple following 60k

Channel name: Ms.Honbuns

Natsuya: 🗺

🌙You're a travel YouTuber/Vlogger

🌙 natsuya is on your channel 24/7

🌙You and natsuya traveled to various locations while site seeing, eating food, meeting local people, learning the language, learning the history, and having fun.

🌙You do 360 VR videos of each country, or city you visit.

🌙Sometimes you both camp and go on hikes.

🗺" ah Its so calming out here in the wild"-Natsuya

🌙Natsuya has his own little segment were you taste different types of beers and wines all over the world

🗺".. woah (y/n) you have to try this. The favor is out of this wolrd!!"-Natsuya

🗺"Where do you want to go for the spring? I was thinking 🇬🇧The UK or 🇲🇽 Italy."-Natsuya

You have a simple following 90k to 1M

Channel name: Lake side view

Nao: 🍀

🌙You're a Garden YouTuber

🌙you give gardening tips

🌙on the weekends nao helps with your garden and maintaining it.

☘"Wow!! (Y/n) your vegetables looks great "-Nao

🌙You harvest and Nao cooks the Vegetables.

🍀"Wow the vegetables this harvest is delicious"-Nao

☘"Next harvest, can we plant watermelons?"-Nao

🌙Time lapse videos of Fruits and vegetables growing and decomposing.

You have a simple following of 50k

Channel name: Growful love

Hiyori: 🛍

🌙You're a Fashion YouTuber

🌙 Discuss the newest trends and unboxing new clothes, shoes and accessories .

🌙Haul videos with Hiyori (sometimes)

🛍" These sweater feels amazing"-Hiyori

🌙You and Hiyori sometimes try on matching clothes.

🛍" Wow! We're definitely a cute couple!-Hiyori

🛍"This is something I'll definitely wear every day "-Hiyori

🌙 Most of your clothes are your choice of style. And Hiyori's is more like dark academia.

🌙 Sewing clothes for you and Hiyori.

🛍"woah!! You made this for me?! Thank you so much"-Hiyori

🌙 And some occasions you guys will go thrift shopping.

You have a simple following of 60k

Channel name: Exclusive Z

[jenomark]

Part 2

➔Pairing: Idol!Haechan x Reader (Female) ➔Other Members/ Characters: -.- ➔Genre: Smut ➔Warnings: Public sex + Vaginal penetration + Masturbation (F+ M) + Fingering ➔Word count: 4,170

➔Summary: He’s an idol, a friend, and you took his virginity. Beginning your friends-with-benefits relationship with Haechan wasn’t the best idea, but you just can’t help yourself when it comes to him.

↞ Part 1

  They all feel how you feel when you watch him on stage, like he belongs to you. His smile just for you. Not for the camera, or the thousands viewing clips on social media, but just for you. His song performed for you, the words containing messages only you can decipher. His hips moving across the stage, the thing in his pants pointing in your direction, everything moving towards you, the girl in the crowd, the girl watching backstage, the girl sitting on her bed. No matter where you are in the world, the lights burn across your retinas, the heat in the seat of your pants making it hard for you to stay still. You move just a little bit and feel the throb below, a Venus flytrap waiting for its prey. You pretend he makes eye contact with only you, acknowledging the very existence you try to hide from everyone else. He sees you, he really does.

 The song ends and the mirage vanishes. Six people go in different directions,  smiles wiped from their faces as easily as make-up. They forget the crowd, forget what it means to be themselves when others are watching. He veers towards you just a moment before remembering where he is and who he is, and then he passes you like you’re invisible. You wonder what he was going to do if he reached you. Kissing in public is too dangerous, even talking together arouses suspicion. You wait a second and follow him, each step playing around with your heart. As you round a corner, you walk into him, your body bouncing off of his. 

“I didn’t see you,” he said.  He did.  “I’m sorry.”  He’s not. 

  His fingers are on your arm, his eyes gawking at your cleavage, his tongue licking the middle of his chin. Staff pass by and he lets you go. He steps back and leans against a wall, his body pressing against its blank canvas like a work of art. People cut between you two, but neither of you notice, or care. He smiles, raises an eyebrow, and purses his lips with the pride of a million men. 

“Come with me.” he mouths. 

  As if you have a choice, you follow him through the people, past the place you had come from. A few staff turn to see the idol boy, his greetings charming, his stage outfit sticking out like a sore thumb. No one notices the girl trailing behind him, her eyes following him with determination, her legs clamped so tightly together, even as she walks. Haechan goes down a ramp until he’s underneath the stage. You hesitate a moment before following behind him. There is something about breaking the rules that has always scared you. Since you met Haechan, you had been doing a lot of that. Though you are terrified of being recognized, no one is paying attention to you.  He hides behind large black cases on wheels, their metal clasps shiny when the strobe lights from above the stage hit them. Stacked on top of each other, no one can see what’s going on behind them. To reach him, you step over wires and broken lights that have been replaced. The moment the space swallows you up, Haechan takes your shoulders and pushes you up against the cases. He unbuttons your jeans and slides his palm in until his fingers are cupping you. The rough way he rubs his hand against you makes your knees threaten to buckle. 

“This is dangerous.” you shout.

  The sound from the music above drowns out your words. You’re afraid he can’t hear you, but then he leans in close to your ear and tells you that the danger is the best part. His tongue is on your neck for a second before his head is between your breasts. He’s greedy. His hands haven’t stopped rubbing you, your clit so sensitive and swollen that you can’t feel anything but a soft burn. When he pulls himself out from between your breasts, you can see that his make-up has worn off, and his lips are puffy from sucking and kissing your skin. The strobe lights from above the stage are peaking through the cracks, lighting up his face in brilliant hues of purple and blue.

“Hi,” Haechan says. “It’s been awhile since I last saw you.”

 He removes his hand. He doesn’t pause to tell you to taste yourself, like he normally would. Haechan’s weakness is knowing how wet he makes you, and your weakness is giving in to him every single time. He hooks his fingers on either side of your jeans and pulls them down your thighs. They’re so tight that they won’t budge past your knees without a fight. Feeling frustrated, Haechan spins you around and bends you over one of the cases. Trying to get out of his buckled stage outfit also proves difficult, but the boy is determined. His cock is in you before you look behind to see if he’s free. The feeling of him never fails to flip your whole world upside down. 

 You say his name, and you say it loudly. The music vibrates your whole body, the heavy bass perfectly timed with his every thrust. The thrill of getting caught makes you want to scream every syllable of his name, each letter like a bread crumb leading to your hiding place. You think of how the music has to stop some time, how the lights have to turn on to reveal what is bent over in the darkness, and you wonder what it will be like when it happens. 

Haechan: Are you thinking of me?

You:  You wish. 

Haechan: I’m hurt.  Ah, it’s night time back home. Are you getting ready for bed? What are you doing?

You: Not you.

Haechan: You’ve been hanging around my friends too much. Seriously, none of you are funny. 

You: Does the thought of me hanging out with your friends make you jealous?

Haechan: Yes. We both know I don’t share. I miss you. I’ve been away for too long. It feels like I’m going crazy. 

You: Donghyuck, It’s been four days. 

Haechan: That’s too long.😣 Do you miss me?

You: No. 

Haechan: I’M HURT. 

You: I have a hard time believing that. What are you doing? How was the performance?

Haechan: I think it went well. We almost dropped Mark during Cherry Bomb. Right now, I’m getting ready to eat. Taeil, Yuta and Johnny want local food. I’m really excited.

You: I hope you’re enjoying yourself. ☺️

Haechan: I am. I’ve been horny.

You: Is that all I’m good for?

  The sound of the video call made you jump out of your skin. Like always, your volume was turned all the way up. You looked at your phone and saw Haechan’s picture staring back at you. At the beginning of your relationship, he had snapped a photo of himself and set it as the wallpaper for when he calls. “Don’t show this to anyone,” he had said. “They’ll never stop making fun of me.” In the picture he was acting cute, his finger poking his cheek. The way he looked was so far removed from how you saw him most days : sexy, naked, his face screwed up in orgasm. The word Devil was still a part of his name only you had added a little red heart next to it. You stared at his face a little longer before accepting the video call. 

“What took you so long?” he asked. “I don’t have much time.”

  You could see he was sitting in a hotel bathroom, most likely on the toilet with the lid down. When he saw you looking, he held the phone up to give you a short tour of the bathroom. He showed you the tub where he said he’d like to fuck you in, the toilet he was sitting on, and the sink. You weren’t as interested in his surroundings as much as you were in seeing his face. 

“It’s nice.” you said. 

“It’s nice until Mark comes in here,” he said. “Speaking of, he went out to grab something from Jaehyun’s room, so I don’t have a lot of time before he comes back. Let me see them.”

“Them?” you asked. You were playing dumb. You knew exactly what he wanted to see.

“Ahhh,” he groaned. “Why do you do this to me?”

  In the darkness of your bedroom, you didn’t think he would be able to see you well. You lifted up your shirt, anyway, and showed him your breasts. Haechan was dramatic when you revealed them, his mouth hanging open, the sound from his throat sounding like a croak. You pulled your shirt down quickly, the disappointment showing clearly on his face.

“You can see more of them when you get back.” you told him.

“Six days,” he said. “I can wait six more days.”

  It was the first time you were separated for more than three days. It had been almost two months since you started fooling around, but he came to your apartment nearly every day to spend time with you. Haechan being a staple in your life made it harder for you when he was absent. 

  During your short period of being together, you had grown too comfortable with him. You had exerted your time, patience and body far beyond what you thought it was capable of. There were days when your emotions completely took over, your happiness cradled in the palm of his hands. You were disappointed when you couldn’t see him, his fist closing tightly around any motivation you had for anything. In the physical aspect, there were days when your muscle aches were so bad after you finished fucking that you had to use muscle relaxing patches to get through your next work day. Fucking three times a night-sometimes four- was just as time consuming as it seemed. You were losing sleep, losing interest in doing anything but thinking of new ways to make him come.

  You liked to wonder how it was from Haechan’s point of view. You didn’t know how he survived juggling his schedules, priorities, and you, all at the same time. He should have collapsed from exhaustion, or at least aroused suspicion from his members and the staff. 

  Even through all of the risks on both sides, neither of you wanted to stop when the reward felt so good. Stopping was never an option, not for you, or him. You were as addicted to him as he was to you, and you could not get enough of your drug. After you made him come, you wanted to get back on top of him, riding him until your pussy was raw, until your thighs hurt from being spread apart for so long. You didn’t know when each of you started wanting to break the other, but the obsession was seeping into every part of your life.

“Let me see your cock.” you said.

 “What?” he asked. “My cock?”

 The shyness in his voice made you smile. You tried to hide it off-camera, but he could see the way your cheeks were rising. Haechan smiled, too, his laughter directed towards the floor. In the camera, all you could see was his Balenciaga hat and the little tufts of hair curling around his ear. In between fucking, you would lay with him while he fell in and out of sleep, your fingers curling that very section of hair. In moments like that, you thought about how easy he was to love, and how hard it was to stop. He stood, turned around and placed his phone against what you thought might be the top of the sink.

“Are you sure you want to see it?” he asked. “You might not be able to control yourself.”

 Haechan lifted up his shirt and tucked the end of the fabric underneath his chin. The belt he wore around his waist barely kept his pants up. He was losing weight lately, his body being worked in every direction. He unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his top button, brought his zipper all the way down until his briefs were revealed. When you saw his cock, it was soft. He rolled it around the tips of his fingers until it started growing to its full length. Your mouth watered at the sight of him. You sat up in bed, brought your knees to your chest and rested your phone against your thighs.

“How long do you think you have?” you asked.

“A few minutes.” he said.

 You didn’t have to tell him to touch himself. Haechan was already jerking himself off, looking down at his cock in his hands before looking into the phone camera. He turned to the side so you could have another angle of his body. Though it was probably wiser to keep quiet, Haechan did as he wanted. The moans filled the hotel bathroom, along with the sound of his palm around his cock. 

“Tell me you want me,” he said.  “Tell me you want your mouth around me.”

  You took your phone into your left hand. With your right hand, you dipped it into your pajama pants and started playing with your clit. Your eyes were on his cock, his fingers rhythmically moving to his deep sighs. There was something so torturous about seeing him and not being able to have him. You had to stop yourself from bringing the phone up to your face and trying to lick him through the screen.

“I want you,” you said. “I want my mouth around you.”

  You closed your eyes and imagined his cock sliding past your lips. You loved holding onto his hips and controlling how fast he fucked your face. You imagined what it would feel like to grab a handful of his ass as he did that. You tried to taste his imaginary cum, and how it would spill out all at once, like you had bitten into a delicious fruit and the juice was gushing into your mouth.

“Tell me…,” he began to say, his words breathless. “Tell me I’m the only one.”

“You’re the only one.”

  You were moaning with him, your voices rising in unison. Having sex via video call wasn’t what you had planned for the night, but you knew it was a vital part of your life. 

“Tell me-”

“-Tell you what? Anything. I will tell you anything.” you said.

“Tell me goodbye, Mom, I’ll talk to you later.” he said. 

  Your eyes snapped open as the video call ended. His selfie flashed for a second before disappearing. You were nearing climax, but the confusion made you stop touching yourself. You took your hands away from your pussy and read the text coming through.

Haechan: Fuck. Sorry. Mark. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. 

  You dropped your phone beside you and sunk back into your sheets, your pussy full of nothing but regret.

“Are you crazy?” you asked. “You shouldn’t be here.

“I wanted to see you.”

  He stood in front of your apartment at midnight, his hat low over his eyes, a face mask over his mouth. The way he looked reminded you so much of the night you realized you wanted him in very compromising positions. You had grabbed the first jacket from your entryway, which just so happened to be one of his that he left. You hugged it tightly around your body, the smell of him wafting into your nostrils.

“Just see me?” you asked.

He laughed. “Yes. Now that I’ve seen you, I can go.”

“You and I both know that you can never just go.”

“Perhaps I am crazy,” he said. “But I am also tired. Jet lag. I should be resting.”

“Don’t let me stop you then.” 

  You stood with a lot of distance between you. The way you were feeling as you looked at him felt foreign to you. Normally, you would barely talk before you stumbled into your apartment, tearing off each others clothes, pushing things onto the floor to fuck on the hallway table. With your whole relationship about the benefits rather than the friendship, it was easier to direct. You didn’t know how to handle moments when you were both forced to act like two non-feral people.

  You felt like you wanted to tell him everything you’d went through since he’d been gone. You wanted to grab a bite to eat where no one knew his name, sitting cross-legged on the floor, and watching him eat his fill. Wanting those things made you unsure about how you truly felt.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked. “This is a one-time offer.”

“Okay.” you answered.

  You shut and locked the door to your apartment. When you turned back to him, his arm was extended. You looked down at his hand. Those hands had been all over your body. Sometimes you watched those hands touching other people and wondered what they would think if they knew they had been inside of you.

 Losing his nerve, Haechan pulled it back before you could take it. Without saying anything, you moved beside him and took his hand back. If he wanted to hold hands, you would give him what he wanted. You both walked half a block before you spoke.

“How was travelling?” you asked.

“Fun, “ he said. “I feel lucky. I’m so grateful for the opportunities. I like it. How was your time while I was gone?”

 You didn’t know how to answer truthfully so you just agreed that your time was equally as fun. Work days blended together when you had nothing to look forward to. You didn’t like to admit that you weren’t sure what day it was, or that so much of your life revolved around him. Luckily, he didn’t press you any further. It’s not that Haechan didn’t care what you were feeling inside, just that his outlook on life stayed blissfully positive, and you didn’t want to be the one to take that away from him.

“The clubs are still open,” Haechan pointed out. “I could use a drink right now.”

 You knew that holding hands in public was the worst thing you could do that wasn’t behind closed doors. You never knew who could be watching, their phones clicking away like the ringing of a cash register. The people stumbling out of the clubs could be people you worked for, or worked with. All it took was for one person to recognize Haechan and the fun would be over. You thought about letting go of his hand, but you didn’t want to. He sensed your fear and directed you away from the crowds exiting the club. 

“It will be okay,” he said. “As long as you’re with me, nothing will happen.” 

 You walked a few blocks before turning back to your apartment. The walking was aimless. After the club, you only came across a few people grabbing late night snacks at a convenience store. In the world the night had created, you both began to act more boldly. Haechan’s laugh was loud, his happiness contagious for people who passed you by. He brought you to him for back hugs, his arms squeezed tightly around you, his chin digging into your shoulder. Halfway back to your place, he got a message on his phone that stopped both of you in your tracks. You watched his face falter, his eyebrows furrowed together. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“It will be okay,” he said, repeating his line from earlier. “Don’t worry about me. Let’s just be here together.”

 You walked the rest of the way in a weird silence. You kept looking over at him to figure out was wrong. Worst case scenario: everyone found out about what you two were doing. Best case scenario? You didn’t know, but you were hoping to find out one day.

“This is where I leave you, my princess.” he said. 

 You stood in front of your door. Hearing him call you his Princess made you want to giggle. In the beginning of your relationship, it was Haechan who reacted in such a way. Taking his virginity made him a little dependent on you. He often giggled when you suggested new positions, or told him how pretty you thought he was. Now that you were far into knowing each other in the most intimate ways, it was you who couldn’t stop becoming so giddy every time he opened his mouth. He could see his affect very well. You wore it hugged closely around your body, just like his jacket.

“Be careful walking home.” you said.

  Haechan took a step forward. His figure was sexy, his eyes mentally undressing you. You thought that he might stay a little longer and fuck you on your apartment steps. Instead, he kissed you, his lips petal soft. As he pulled away, you could barely open your eyes to look at him. He backed away from you, his trademark smirk faltering just a little.

  He stopped to look at you after making every move. For anyone else, you would have faked your enjoyment, but for Haechan, everything was honest. If he touched you, your body quaked in response. You couldn’t stop your eyelids from fluttering, your body from moving up the bed to get away from his persistence. If he made you feel good, you let him know with your shortness of breath, your knuckles clenched around the sheets.

“You make the funniest faces when you orgasm.” he observed.

  You resisted the urge to take the pillow from underneath your head and whack him with it. Haechan sat between your legs, your knees hooked over his thighs. Often, you sat like this when you both felt too lazy for much else. He would play with your pussy for what felt like hours, his fingers pushing into you to see how many you could take. He would trace your labia with his fingertips, draw love hearts on your clit. He loved the way you looked when you were wide open for him, loved you shaved and unshaven. 

“It’s a compliment,” he said when he sensed your hostility. “I love everything about you, especially how ugly you look when you’re on top .”

  You clamped your legs shut, trapping his arm. He laughed gleefully, pushing your legs back open before climbing up your body. He laid across you, his full body weight crushing yours. 

“You’re heavy.” you said.

  Haechan flopped his body around, like a fish, until you felt his weight even more. You wheezed dramatically. The way you both joked around always made your day better. Laughing with him eased a lot of stress from your daily life. You used your hands to squeeze his cheeks. When he made a fishy face, you kissed his lips. 

“I could stay like this all day.” you said.

“Not me,” he said. “I don’t want you lying on your back the whole time.”

 You rolled your eyes, and he jokingly got offended. You pulled his neck down so that you could kiss him again. You made out like that, your naked bodies on top of each other, for awhile. The concept of time didn’t matter when you were together. There were times when you were thankful that all you did was have sex with each other. There was no fighting, no expectations, and nothing that could be torn apart if it wasn’t together to begin with. When your phone lit up, both of you pulled away.

“Who is it?” he asked.

“How am I supposed to know?”

  Haechan took one look at your phone lit up on your night stand and pushed it off. It clattered onto the floor, your protective case splitting in two. You started to get up to check on it, but he pushed you back down. He got onto his knees and pushed your legs up so that your ass was lifted off the bed. His distraction tactics were good, you had to give him that.

“I’ll buy you a new phone.” he said. 

 Haechan took your hands and interlocked his fingers with yours. When he entered you, your mind forgot the phone altogether. The way he moved wasn’t his normal fast pace. Haechan liked to fuck you hard, each orgasm strong and earth shattering. Passionate was not a word you often used to describe what you and him did in the bedroom. As he moved inside of you, he lowered his body down over yours until he was hugging you. He kissed you as deeply as he was thrusting.

10:02 a.m.

Haechan: You’re not answering your phone

10:03 a.m.

Haechan: Call me back

10:46 a.m.

Haechan: I’m sorry I left so many voicemails I don’t know what to do 

11:00 a.m.

Haechan: Pick up your phone

11:16 a.m.

Haechan: Johnny knows. He’s on his way to your apartment. Don’t tell him anything.