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goldenxbby · 3 years ago

Text

I never wanna go back to my life before you

part 1 and part 2

εїз pairing: fezco x f!reader

εїз warnings: angst, cussing, terrible metaphors, mentions of violence and sum cuteness at the end ;)

εїз word count: 4321

εїз summary: Fez tries to fix the mess he’s made the only way he knows how.

εїз a/n: omg we’re already at part three how crazy??? I usually hate angst but I really wanted to try for you guys plus it doesnt last that long lol. i’m gonna start posting these also on ao3 since I originally planned to put this fic there (it will be under the same title and user). i was wondering if anyone has noticed all the easter eggs from songs i've left in the fics yet like its my fav part finding spots to squeeze in my favourite lyrics. i hope you guys like this you’re like my main form of serotonin xxxxxxxx

She loved the moon. It was always there for her at night and even sometimes in the day. No matter where she went it always followed her. Her whole life no one was as dependable as the moon. Sitting by her window sill at night she could talk to it for hours, and it would gladly listen. The moon was the only one in her life that had listened to her. That was until she met Fezco. The night her moon shone down on him, as if he was her saviour, had made her year. No, her lifetime.

It didn't matter anyway as her friend she once looked up to with adoration just reminded her of heartbreak. She really just wanted to yell at herself. There she was comparing a man she had just met and seen brutally beating the shit out of Nate Jacobs to a saint. She hadn’t believed in God ever since her father left and she was swiftly giving up all those hard lessons that the first man she ever loved, the first man to break her heart, had taught her.

With one look into Fez’s deep blue eyes, it’s like she had been hypnotized. But here she was, alone in her bed, the spell had been broken and she was reminded why she was an atheist. If there was this all knower, a God that acted for every one of his children, why would he torment them, hurt them, put them through the worst to be handed nothing afterwards? How could someone put all their trust into one man? She’d tried as a child and it failed her. Now she had allowed herself to become swept up in another. It’s like when she spoke to Fez her brain sent all the lessons she’d learned, all the beliefs she held, down a garbage shoot. She couldn’t even be mad at him, she’d had barely known him for a couple weeks and it was absolutely life changing. He lit a spark in her she didn’t know still existed, but now it felt like the spark had dimmed.

She was left feeling blue, but she preferred this shade of blue… his blue. His blue waves had broken her walls down. It had ignited confidence in her, but now she was lying all alone in the rubble. Still, she didn’t regret opening her heart to him. She just wished she hadn't dived in so deep. Treading the shallow water alone had not only weakened her muscles, but her heart too. Looking up to her ceiling in the dark, all she could think of was his doe eyes that had blinded her with the illusion that there was something more to them than what was actually there.

Laughing to herself about how melodramatic she was acting didn't take away from the fact that what she felt for Fezco was real. It wasn’t superficial like most high school relationships, I mean it wasn’t even a relationship, but that didn't stop her from feeling like she was about to experience her first love with him. A little part of her wanted it to be her only love.

The connection they felt, the comfortability, that had to be love, right? She couldn’t imagine a better feeling than what she felt for Fez. God, right now she just wished she was blind. It was a stupid and probably a problematic wish but she thought it had a good enough reasoning. If her wish came true she wouldn’t have had to see him with Faye. Now the image of them in his convenience store was burned into her brain. She wanted to scratch it out. Scratch him out. No, that wasn’t true. It didn't matter that her five second dream sequence had been cut short. If she looked into those eyes again she’d fall right back into the palm of his hand.

She hadn’t picked up his calls or replied to his texts. She knew she needed space to pick herself up again but she missed the rush she felt when speaking with him, she missed that feeling of being heard… by him. She missed hearing him. She missed when he looked at her. He saw her truly, really saw her. She wondered if he had looked at others the way he looked at her. When he saw Faye did he see her or just look at her? God if she can’t scratch the image of them together could she at least scrub it from her memory?

Maybe if she scrubbed her face raw enough she’d be able to let him slip from her mind for at least a second. So she did and probably spent a little too long washing her face, she definitely went overkill on her teeth. She thought if she could get lost in the reflection of her own enamel then she might be able to sleep somewhat peacefully tonight.

She knew it didn’t really make much sense but she needed to give her brain a break. It had been running non stop like it was training for the Olympics. Taking one look at her countertop she had already failed, the bright blue bottle of Listerine reminding her of the luminaries she once looked into, his deep blue eyes she dreamed of living on, planets she’d want to study for centuries, allow to take up her whole universe. Maybe if she just forced herself into sleep she would stop thinking about him.

The whole scrubbing herself clearly didn’t work so it’s not like she had many options. Her whole room had just turned into reminders of him, her books she knew he spent time looking through, her pillows he once slept on, her comforter he had held in his hand, her dresser that once held his sweater, and the floor that his shoes had sat on because he had taken the care to slip them off before joining her space. God even the taping on her window reminded her of when he first arrived outside it.

Usually, she’d ignore whatever squirrel or bird that had become infatuated with the glass connected to her room but her emotions had been through it with no one to blame but herself. She selfishly felt like shooing away whatever animal felt like annoying her tonight. It’s not like she was gonna harm them, just politely ask the creature to chill out or maybe even pull a face. She just needed to make the tapping stop. Moving her curtain to the side she was prepared for the small critter. Instead of surprising the animal at her window, she was the one who became surprised, a little frozen even. Her universe was looking right back at her.

Fezco.

His face took her back to the last night she saw him like it was some kinda transportation device. After Faye had asked her the absurd question about Cal Jacobs being her sugar daddy, she hastily explained to her that Cassie had told the middle aged man that Fez was the guy that almost killed his son. When the blonde responded with an airy “What?” she replied by saying “Just tell Fez. Okay?” as she escaped through the back door she had once entered through. She didn't feel like chatting with Fezcos’s hook up especially when she had such a blunt communication style. Riding her bike back home, she couldn’t stop crying, finally letting the tears she held in Fez’s shop out. She could feel her phone vibrating the whole ride, not checking till she flopped on her bed. She saw that it was Fezco blowing her phone up. She couldn’t speak to him now and didn't know when she would be able to. All that was on her mind was the girl he was with and why it wasn’t her. She couldn’t help but let her insecurities take over her mind that night and the days after. Was she not pretty enough? Stopped entertaining him? She was too slow, wasn’t she? She hadn’t been intimate with anyone in a long time and the intimacy probably wouldn’t even be classified as such looking back now. But she was scared to be that fearless around Fez. Clearly, she had reasons and they must have been true seeing as it didn’t take him long to find what she couldn’t provide in someone else.

Losing contact with her was like losing life support for Fez and finally seeing her face again felt like oxygen had been pumped back into his bloodstream. Looking down at her, a smile grew on his face and he joked “We need to stop meeting like this.”. She replied quickly “Oh, were you expecting another girl to open the window?” sarcasm rich in her voice. When Fez spoke, a part of her wanted to grab him by his collar and kiss him right there. He came to her. Maybe he did still feel something between them. But then Miss big mouth’s face popped into her brain bringing her back to the reason she had cut communication between them. He had a girl on the side. Well no, technically she would have been the side chick or worked her way up to the title. She hated that. A reason she’d stayed away from guys at her school was because they used girls for their bodies and didn’t actually care about them. She didn't want to waste her time with that bullshit. So that's why it hurt so much when a guy she felt so deeply for was pulling that shit on her. Behind her back even.

Fez had responded to her rhetorical question with quirked eyebrows “Nah, why would I be looking for anyone else?”. That would have warmed her heart if she didn’t have the image of him and Faye together spinning through her head. “I don’t know, it seems like you have a rotation ready for whenever you need to be entertained” She spit out with vitriol. “Yo, why is everyone talkin like they’re from a different fucking planet or sumthin?” Fez spoke back with frustration. “What?” she let out, not expecting Fez to react with such acidity. “Y/n I came here to talk to you. Y’know since you haven’t picked up the phone for a week. So can I please come in and talk to you?” Fez replied, letting his softness for the girl in front of him take over. “Why would you wanna talk to me?” she asked, not over spewing attitude towards his way. “Cus I miss you and don’t know what the fuck I did to get you to stop talkin to me.” Fez said, looking into her eyes trying to find the answer to his question. “Faye's not waiting on you, is she?”. She couldn't lie, Fez’s gaze on her had started to melt her heart. She knew by the time the words “I miss you” left his mouth she’d let him in, but she might as well keep up her teasing. “No, why the fuck would Faye be waiting on me?” Fez questioned with confusion. “I don’t know. Why don’t you come in and tell me.” Once she answered a twinkle sparkled in both their eyes like what they had wasn’t completely lost.

Fez jumped in, shoes in hand. “We’re not fightin, are we?” he asked as she moved towards her bed trying to create space between the two so she wouldn’t completely crumble in front of him. “I don’t know what there’d be to fight for.” she responded, quietly looking at the ground. “Did I do somethin wrong, y/n?” Fez asked in a huff, hating the mental and physical space she had created between them. “No, no you did nothing wrong. I just…” Taking a long breath, she closed her eyes trying to compose herself. She wasn’t prepared for talking about her emotions with anyone, even Fez. Well, especially Fez since it was the hurt she felt because of his actions.

But what's better than learning on the field? Okay, opening her eyes was a bad idea. Fez had moved to sit next to her on the bed and was looking back at her like a lost puppy. How was she supposed to stop herself from completely forgiving him? She didn't know why she went straight to protecting herself, ready to fight Fez, when he was clearly concerned about them. Whatever they were.

Having time to really think about it, with the silence between them she confessed “I had expectations, misconceptions really, of us that were unrealistic I guess.”. Fez looked at her as if she was the sun, burning his eyes as she looked into them with defeat. He brought his head down, switching from the floor to her, and replied with a huff “I’m trying really hard to understand you y/n, but after the day I had with Cal Jacobs my brain is fucking confused.”. “What happened with Cal Jacobs? Are you okay?” She spat out, moving closer to him.

Her immediate reaction after hearing that man's name was to console Fez, she couldn’t help it. She tried to see if she had missed any marks that would reveal what had gone down between the two men. “Yeah I’m good, you shoulda seen him though.” Fez laughed, “I think it would make you smile how Ash fucked him up.”. She let out a chuckle in response, keeping her guard up still, she let him continue. “He came by my place tryna scope it out or sum shit. He asked about this tape like I knew what the fuck dumb shit he was talkin about.” she nodded her head trying to think of whatever tape Cal Jacobs so badly wanted to talk to Fez about. “He pissed Ashtray off so much he wouldn't stop hittin him wit the back of his gun.” She let out a giggle imagining Cal finally getting what was coming to him from a 12 year old. “He was just so fucking confusing but by the end of it he just agreed to leave us out of his fucking family drama, which is so fucking weird like the Jacobs need to be checked into a fucking mental hospital for their whacked up problems.” She tried hiding the smirk that had formed on her lips. She missed how funny he was. Most people wouldn’t expect it from him, but he had great comedic timing and a warmth to him that was hard to stay upset around.

Turning to her, Fez admitted, “I wanted to tell you about it all day after he left but you stopped picking up my calls.”. She felt bad, really she did, but she couldn’t completely forget why she did what she did. It was just a reaction to the truth he handed her.

Looking at her lap, she wondered how she would apologize to Fez while also still standing her ground. But Fez stopped that process, asking her with annoyance laced in his voice “How come you can ghost me as you please? What's that about?”. Fez didn’t like how the promise he made to her didn’t work in his favour either. He wanted to talk to her just as much as she did with him. Shit, definitely more. He hated how disconnected she was from him. He knew whatever happened the last time they were together something had shifted, but he wasn't sure what the fuck caused it.

She replied back to him, feeling her defences swiftly coming back up “Well I said that before I knew you’d be hooking up with your “business”.”. As she moved away from him, off her bed, Fez missed the feeling of her body heat radiating off of her. She felt comfortable enough to be physically close to him again and he blew it, again, still unsure how. “Business? I haven’t hooked up with anyone. Why are you talking in metaphors you know I don’t understand?” Fez replied feeling irritated with the situation he had put them in and struggling to comprehend how to fix it.

She let out a huff realizing she’d not only have to open up to Fez, but be extremely clear with how she felt. “Blondie, the girl that’s “staying” with you.”. “I-” he tried to speak but she cut him off with her anxiety coming to the surface “Look Fez, I’ve never done this before, and that’s not fun to reveal, okay? So I don’t know what this is or was. If we’re just friends or talking or figuring it out as it goes.” She finally met her eyes with his, pausing. He took that time to stop her “Faye is Custer’s girlfriend.”. She tried to not let her eyes completely bug out of her face from this new information. She didn’t know who Custer was, but now she knew Faye had a boyfriend and was not fucking Fezco. She wanted to disappear so badly right now. She let her mind overthink and now she was stuck looking like a complete bitch to the guy she likes. She was wrong when she thought she couldn't feel any worse. Fez was really saying sorry to her right now. Apologizing even though the only dumbass in the room was her. “It’s just with you I never had to talk about the drug dealing shit. You treated me like I’m more than that. No one ever has.”. He didn’t want to ruin that feeling and have to explain how terrible he was. Fez was afraid to lose her and now by not being honest with her, he had. He hated that. Hated that he hurt her by his stupid mistakes.

She had no idea how to fix her mistake. She had never been in this kind of situation with a boy. She’d never been in any situation with a boy. Clearing up this misunderstanding was a start. She just needed a fucking start. “So you're not together?” she coughed out, not being able to look anywhere but her feet. “Nah.” Fez answered, mirroring her movement. “Why’d you say yes when I asked if you guys were… you know?” She questioned, finally lifting her gaze. “Cus I thought you was asking if we were friends and I didn’t wanna hurt the kid's feelings. She was 6 feet away from me. I couldn't jus say I was stuck wit her cus I work with her boyfriend.” Fez said, meeting her eyes. “Ohhhh.” is all she could let out. “Yeah, you know I woulda been able to clear dat wit you if you didn't run out da joint.” he laughed thinking back to only seeing the brown of her hair whip out the back entrance when he entered his convenience store. She went to apologize, feeling like the argument had dissipated and maybe she could bring them back to before all the miscommunication happened. "Fez-” he cut her off again, saying “Sometimes it feels like you forget just how much I like you y/n.”. Looking down at him, she gulped.

He got that he didn’t talk to her all romantic and shit but he wasn’t used to it. To even feeling it. But he wanted to try for her. One of these nights he’d find a way to communicate to her how he dreamed to be her fool. Dreamed to look past the impossible and enjoy what they had. He knew he’d never find what he felt with her again, so why not trust the love. He thought maybe his grandma was wrong about one thing. The line she would remind him of ever so often “love is the one instinct you can’t trust”. Maybe she would have taken her words back if she knew y/n existed.

Fez wanted to tell her that the world was hers. If she asked for his heart, he’d rip it out and tie it with a bow in 0.5 seconds. He would tell her he’d never treat her like whoever the fuck hurt her so badly to make her not try at love before. In all honesty, he wanted to murder the fucker that hurt her. Fez thought they’d be the only person he’d have the energy to beat the shit out of. The kind of energy Ashtray always had, 1000x worse than what he did to Nate Jacobs on New Years.

He hated how stupid he acted, how he hurt her. Fezco wished he thought his actions through a little longer. He thought keeping her out of the mess that was his job would protect her, but the dishonesty hurt her. He could see that his fear of her seeing him differently after he opened up about his life had taken over any clear thinking. How could she feel the same way he felt about her once she saw him for the monster he was? The whole thing made him feel selfish for chasing after the spark he had with her on New Years Eve. But what was so wrong with that? Why couldn’t he, for once in his life, indulge and be selfish with her?

As selfish as it was, he thought he might as well just put his heart on the line. See if she still wanted him. Fezco grabbed her hand and motioned her to come back next to him “You didn’t have to sit next to me at New Years, but you did. You didn’t have to let me in your room that same night, but you did. You didn’t have to talk to me every night at 9 or come by the shop after I bailed on you, but you did. Every time you made the choice to let me in your life I fell deeper and deeper for you. Y/n it’s like before you, it felt like my life was always fuckin cloudy but I didn’t even notice till you stepped into it… and then it was like the sky cleared. Now I never wanna go back to my life before you.”.

He craved her so much at that moment. The way she looked back at him like he was some prized possession. It was just like how Ash looked at all the guns hung up at the pawnshop by their house. The way her eyes kept falling back down to his lips made his heartbeat even faster than it did when he first pulled up to her house with blood covering his hand with only the thought of wanting to see her in his head. The want circling his head at the moment was to join their lips together. So he did. Fez caressed her cheek and dove in. He was planning on waiting till their first date to try since he wanted to take things at her pace, but at this moment he couldn’t understand how he waited this long. If seeing her was like a splash of cold water waking him up then kissing her was like warming yourself up by a bonfire. Wanting to fully wrap yourself in the warmth, the calming feeling of it all.

He understood what Ashtray's old Disney movies meant now. The whole new world shit. Yeah kissing her was a whole new fucking world. Fez went to pull away and apologize for kissing her. He didn’t regret going for it; he just didn’t want to push her into something she wasn’t up for. He was stopped though by her connecting their lips back together. Fez wished he could saviour the moment more, take a snapshot of this feeling and keep it in his back pocket. Afraid he would take it too far, I mean they were on her bed late at night basically devouring each other's faces, he split them apart. He almost patted himself on the back for how much control he just pulled off. Holding her face in his hand, looking into her eyes Fezco asked her “Can we always be dis close?”. She replied with a kiss like she was breathing him in. Resting her forehead on his, she answered “I’ll be here for as long as you’ll have me.”.

Okay, so he didn’t have that much control. She just fucking smothered his heart with her words. A heart that he had starved ever since his grandmother collapsed in his home. With y/n lips ghosting over his, he couldn’t stop himself from feasting off her. He let his hands wander over her body, pulling her onto his lap.

When they kissed all she could think about was how she felt like she had woken up just in time, like everything in her life was a prequel till they met, the plot of her life was finally beginning. It finally all made sense. He had made her feel like fine china. Like her whole life, she’d been hidden away not because she was unwanted but because there wasn’t anyone important enough at the table. Until him. He touched her so delicately, but still with the kind of passion like he was trying to memorize what every inch of her skin felt like as if she'd disappear any second. She wished she had kept up the swimming she did as a kid so she wouldn’t have to part from him to catch her breath. Maybe with more practice with him, she could get better at it. At least when she looked into his eyes she could also hear him huffing as if he had just ran a marathon. He always knew how to make her feel better. She wanted to be in his arms like this for the rest of her life.

When he licked his lips she thought he was about to kiss her again, but instead he asked her a second question. She would have been disappointed that he didn't go in for another, but what left his lips sounded almost as good.

“Can I take you on dat date I promised you?”

#fezco #fezco x reader #fezco fanfic #fezco fic #fezco angst #fezco x you #fezco x lexi #fezco euphoria #euphoria #fezco x y/n #fez x lexi #fezco fluff #euphoria fez #euphoria fanfic #euphoria angst #euphoria fluff #angus cloud

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goldenxbby · 3 years ago

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then dream girl walks in

part 1 and part 3

εїз pairing: fezco x f!reader

εїз warnings: just like cussing, cuteness, slight angst and poorly explained murder history this time... BEWARE

εїз word count: 4155

εїз summary: the aftermath of cold cuts in the moonlight.

εїз a/n: heyyyyy i’m back with part two. i was really surprised that anyone would like my first fic so sorry if this is like a one hit wonder sort of deal. again this fic works for both lexi or y/n pov. this is based off of what we’ve seen in epi 1&2 of season 2. i hope you enjoy!!!!!!

Waking with just the sun to keep her company, all signs of him were gone as if he had never existed. Even his green knitted sweater had been moved from the spot she placed it last night. Wait... she smiled.

Looking at her phone, its lock screen revealed the confirmation that Fez coming over was so not a dream. Fez’s message read “thank u for last night”. Swiping the technology open, she found another text sent 2 minutes after the first. She grinned looking it over again in case she was imagining it.

“Fez: call me when u wake up”

Going to rub the dried saliva off her cheek and fix her hair in the mirror, she prepared herself for the phone call. What the fuck was she doing? He wouldn’t be able to see her. Why was she being such an idiot and not calling him already? Picking up the phone, her stomach full of anxiety, she tapped his contact and hit the call button.

It rang once. Once! God, that was an ego boost or maybe he was already on his phone? Yeah, that makes way more sense. “Y/n?” she could hear the smile on his lips which caused one to grow on hers. “Hey Fez.” she replied and he chuckled “Someone likes to sleep in don’t they?”. Looking at the time, her clock read 10 am. Knowing he was just teasing, she joined in “Yeah well I didn’t have plans on sneaking out of girl's windows, so I had time to get my beauty sleep.”. Fez enjoyed how quickly they could riff off each other. It made him feel like he had known her for twenty years even though it had been just two days. “It wasn’t easy leaving your side but someone had to do it.” he replied sarcastically.

“I see you took your sweater with you too.” Her subconscious let the last sentence slip as she couldn't take her eyes off the spot it was once placed. “Yeah, thanks for grabbing it for me. I can’t believe you remembered it by the end of the party.” Fez admitted. “Well there wasn’t much left of the party after the whole incident.” she confessed, causing Fez to apologise. “Oh shit, sorry about that wasn’t tryna ruin your night.” he said. She quickly replied, “No my night ended 10x better than it would’ve if you didn’t beat the fuck out of Nate.”. Shit, why was she bringing up Nate Jacobs? Clearly, he had his reasons to hate the kid, anybody that met Nate would have them within 5 seconds. She knew he was abusive towards Maddie and had this weird collection of dicks on his phone, so she was absolutely fine with what Fez had done. He had distracted her from her thoughts saying “I think I feel the same way.”. That made her curl up into her bed basically speechless which left a silence over the phone. But he was referring to Nate, right? Shit now she made it awkward. She should speak, say something. This moment was a reminder to herself to not let the infatuation she had for him redefine the actual words coming out of his mouth. On the other end Fezco was worried she thought he was referring to Nate but was way too fucking scared to correct the statement with a “because of you.”. So he tried to shift the conversation to a lighter note.

“I peeped those books you like reading so much.”. Okay, so he didn't really have many conversations that didn't involve drugs so he wasn't the sharpest with choosing topics. I mean no one ever cared to listen to him if a payment amount wasn't coming out of his mouth. This was fresh territory for him.

“Oh, you find anything you like?”. So he took his time leaving. God, she hoped she looked somewhat presentable asleep. Not like a zombie, you know? Hair a mess, mouth agape, arms over her head in like a starfish position. She wished that when he left she was in one of those cute sleeping beauty poses. It would be unrealistic for her but she hoped. Fez replied “I’m not much of a reader.”. Great it's like every other sentence that came out of her mouth was just a new form of humiliation. He continued “...but I’m surprised you're one of those astrology girls.”.

It wasn't that she hasn't tried multiple times to look up her birth chart and find out what all the signs meant in their placements. But nobody would be able to tell that from her book collection, so she simply replied “What do you mean? I don’t have any astrology books.”. Okay, now Fez was confused. He could have sworn the words he read from her bookshelf were the same he would have to hear come out of almost every high schooler's mouth that walked through his shop. So he asked, “What about that bright yellow one that looks like Ashtray wrote all over it?”.

Looking over at her shelf she finally understood what he was talking about “Ohhh the zodiac one. That’s not about astrology Fez, it's about a serial killer.”. “Serial killer?” she could hear the surprise in his voice. It made sense, she didn't really give off into serial killer vibes but like who does? “Yeah, it's really interesting actually. It's like a compilation of this one dudes kills and how he like terrorized California in the ’60s but no one knew who he was. He'd send letters and encryptions to the newspapers at the time. It was like this huge game of cat and mouse with him and the police.”. Fez would never get over being completely transfixed by her. The way she talked to him like he was a human. No one had done that in a long time.

“Who won?” Fez asked thoroughly interested in the things she shared with him, opening doors he never knew existed. “He did actually. It's still like unsolved but I'm pretty sure a group of internet sleuths claim it's some guy named Gary.” she answered. Fez wanted to know more so he asked “How many people did he kill.”. She knows she just told herself she wouldn't look for more meaning in the things he said but he totally seemed into what she had to say and literally no one ever did when she spoke. Even if she tried to push down the way she felt about him she couldn’t. Was she falling for him? Okay maybe if she just pushed like a little harder on her emotions they wouldn’t bubble over. Right?

“Well, 5 confirmed but could be up to like 28.” She let out, trying to not let her thoughts distract her from the conversation she was having with Fez. “Damn, Gary got around.” he laughed and she joined “Oh God, wait till I tell you about Issei Sagawa, that bitch ate a girl and got away with it!”. Yeah, she liked this better, getting to be present with him.

“How you know about the coolest shit?” Fez questioned. She laughed and replied honestly “Lots of time alone to ask random questions I wanna know the answers to.”. Looking back she's really glad she didn't let her insecurities stop her from telling Fez the truth. Because if she didn't she'd never get to know about one of the cutest things Fez does. “I get dat, sometimes on long shifts I watch videos of snails eating just cuz it looks cool.” Fez admitted. “No way they have videos of them just eating for like free?” she would have never imagined she would have this kind of conversation with Fez. “I mean yeah I'd be worried if people paid for it.” he responded. “Yeah… who would pay to watch that..?.'' she made him laugh. God she loved hearing his laugh. It was like when you finally get out of school on a Friday. Immediately taking a breath of air and letting the sun hit your face, just beautiful. Fez interrupted her daydreaming with a “You eat yet, snail girl?”. “Snail girl? You're the one that watches the videos.” She quipped “And you're the one that would pay for them, now don't try ‘n scoot around the question just to stay on the phone wit pretty ole me.”. She was surprised he could tell she was trying to put off ending the call. She still tried to though, joking “A girl says she wouldn't care if you smelled like dog shit once and he thinks he's the bee's knees.”. Laughing at her remark Fez replied “Ima ignore the old ass shit comin out yo mouth and let you go eat.”. “Fez” she practically whined “Y/n.” he responded. Finally, she spoke up again “Fine... Talk to you later?” and he repeated her own sentence back to her lowering his voice as if he knew what it did to her. Swooned. It made her physically swoon.

With the silence now filling her ears, she collapsed on her bed. She then began swinging her legs in the air like a kid that just found out they're going to Disneyland. This would have made her feel embarrassed but the energy that Fez had injected into her by just talking made her look past it and listen to his suggestion.

She had started this ritual, well would it count as a ritual if she's only done it twice? That must at least be the beginning of the creation of a ritual. Well, it didn't matter, doing anything with Fez felt like the start of a ritual. One that she’d want to continue for the rest of her life. The “ritual” would start at 9 pm. She would finish up her homework and pour a mixture of grenadine, orange juice and ginger ale in a cup creating one of her favourite drinks.

Her father first taught her the recipe after her incessant begging to try one of the many drinks her mother would down throughout the day. The one her father made looked like her mother's but she later realised tasted much different. She'd put together the drink and run to her room, closing the door and carefully situating herself right before her phone would ring. On the dot at 9 pm.

Seeing Fez's contact pop up brought a smile to her face as she quickly answered “Hey Fez.'' he'd reply “I'm not interrupting anything am I?” she'd laugh thinking if he ever actually did she'd never say as nothing she’d ever do would be better than getting the chance to talk to him, so she would answer “No, not at all.”. He’d laugh then say “Good. So how was your day?”.

Today she felt like complaining. She's never really done it that much as she's never had someone to complain to, but Fez made her comfortable enough to just let her kind of negative words spew out of her mouth. It had started with her rant on this year's freshman that still walked on the wrong side of the hall and bumped into her even though they've had like four months to learn to walk the same as every other fucking person in the building. That then turned to her history class and how the teacher wouldn't shut up about how impossible it seemed that the Pyramids were built by hand with just the technology at the time. She told Fez how she just wanted to yell at them. How these questions are only asked about buildings made by people of colour. Oh, the Aztecs and Egyptians no way! But those cathedrals made by Europeans? Oh no, let's not question that. He couldn't see her eyes rolling so she'd tell him every time to really conjure the effect.

When she talked about the theory she had that every teacher sat the dumbest kid next to her for every class she's ever been Fez joked anyone would sound stupid compared to her. This stopped her sour mood completely.

She listened to him when he told her on his break he organised a list of links on his notes app of videos of different animals eating on YouTube for her. Her heart felt like it could explode and when he eagerly added that he even found one of a ferret her heart actually did explode, metaphorically of course but the point still stands. The way he cared for her, remembered her, and listened to her made her feel like she could kind of understand why Cassie was so boy obsessed. If this was how they were all like she would mourn the lost time she spent not actively seeking their attention.

What she was currently mourning though was the beginning of their phone call as that was farthest away from when their talk would have to end. If it wasn't for Fez’s care of her getting a full 8 hours of sleep every night she'd never hang up the phone. But when the time came she wasn't totally taken over with sorrow as hearing Fez wish a goodnight in her ear sent butterflies to her stomach and a smile to her face causing her to whisper it back. Allowing his words to echo in her head as she drifted off sent her into some of the best sleep she's ever felt, like drool puddling in 5 seconds.

Running to her room, mixed drink in hand, she almost slipped on her way in letting the enthusiasm get to her, and almost flying to her phone. 8:59 switched to 9:00 and she gripped the piece of metal tighter. But then 9:01 hit and still no call. Why was he breaking their ritual before it could even begin? That was stupid he hadn't promised it to her. They never laid out the rules, never promised anything. Except making her wait by the phone. But did this really count it felt like she was the one making herself wait? So why not stop waiting? It was only 9:05 she could call him right?

Opening her phone, a notification stopped her. One she so did not want to see. She read it over a second time fully taking it in.

“Fez: business shit came up.”

“Fez: srry”

She understood. It wasn't like he had forgotten about her or chose not to call but that didn't stop the disappointment from creeping into her heart. The butterflies had turned into a big fat mole burrowing itself deeper and deeper into her stomach. It's not like he was feeling much better about the cancellation. He looked forward to talking to her. Fez felt like his whole life all he ever heard was white noise until she came along and whole fucking orchestras started playing.

Getting the call from Custer pissed him off not just because he would now have to pick up his girlfriend and house her for who knows how long, but he also had to let y/n down. He didn't think he made her day just by talking but he felt like they both really enjoyed their calls. He at least did.

Instead of getting to hear her frustrations of East Highlands students and faculty, he had to listen to Faye complain about the motel's landlord or something being mean. He wasn't really sure. He kind of just tuned her out, not giving a shit about what she had to say. Getting home he saw the sandwich he made in preparation to talk to y/n. He loved how small aspects in his life had changed because of these little reminders of her. He wanted more of that.

Now the sandwich was just a reminder that he wouldn't be able to talk to her. Tonight was the only time he wouldn't be working late and he'd finally get to sit on his couch comfortably imagining her with him while she explained who that cannibal motherfucker was. He'd been talking to her during his shifts which were great distractions but getting the chance to dream her into reality would have been a sought after change. God, he was gonna have to bring Faye with him. How the fuck was he supposed to call her when Faye would be scowling at him. He already had to shift away from ashtray so he wouldn't see him smile or have flushed cheeks. He was starting to absolutely hate this setup already.

Going to work with Faye, he tried to figure out how he’ll tell y/n about the lady sitting a couple of feet away from him. Fez didn't have to do much thinking though as y/n had already created a plan to see him hours ago.

She had been in the caf when the idea hit her. She'd just go see him. She needed to tell him what Cassie did. She had to warn him Cal Jacobs knew he was the one that almost killed Nate and if she got to see those beautiful blue eyes that wouldn't suck either. It wouldn't be hard. So she planned after school she would get her homework done, eat and pretend she was going off to bed early. But really she would be sneaking out to see Fez.

Reapplying her lipstick, she waited till it sounded like everyone was asleep then grabbed her bike and travelled towards Fez. She knew the way as she’d been there multiple times before when Cassie and Maddie wanted to get stoned. She never went in though, always staying in the car too worried she would embarrass herself.

Blasting music on her ride over helped her gain some of the confidence she had when she first talked to Fez. Maybe she could actually do this. Parking her bike and placing her coat down she felt her anxiety start to build, but she was already here she couldn't pussy out now. Her whole life she felt like she had been ignoring her intuition but finally, with Fez, everything felt right like she was supposed to be doing this. It had already been written into her story, she just had to follow through with it. So she pulled her hands behind her back and entered the store. And how could she stop the enormous grin from spreading over her face when he called out her name. No, not just her name. Her full name. She didn't know how he got it. From Rue, probably, but like he wanted to know. The thought of her last name popped into his head and he searched for it. That made her feel like she was floating and hearing her name come out of his lips wasn't bad either.

He had been counting the number of bud lights in front of him, trying to pass the time wishing he could get back to that night in her room when everything felt like it was at a standstill. Like the whole world but them had hit the pause button and they could just enjoy each other. Then, like he really did create her from his mind, dream girl walks in.

Seeing her smile made his eyes change from their normal droopy half open state and open fully like she was this splash of cold water waking him up with excitement. God, she made him feel like a kid, giddy and so unsure of his next moves. Even as a kid he didn't feel this innocence. It's like he just skipped over the childhood part everyone else had. Maybe with her, he could squeeze it back into his timeline. I mean her eyes looked like home to him, somewhere he could finally rest and let his guard down. He was entranced by those spheres holding his safe home and didn’t realize at the time that the woman he wanted to call his hideaway was crumbling on the inside.

She saw this blonde girl on his counter like an accessory claiming her name was Faye. Trying not to let herself jump to conclusions, that would absolutely crush her, she straight up asked him. “Are you guys...?”. That was straightforward enough right? She was really new to this and just trying to think on her feet. Then he answered and she felt her heart sink. “Yeah, no, she's just stayin wit me for a bit, but she's cool tho.”. She was trying, okay? Like really trying, but she's literally never done this before and can't read between the lines of a language she doesn't speak.

He said yeah is what she remembered and she was staying with him? Was she the business? A hookup that lasted longer than one night? She had forgotten that competition was a thing like she'd have to fight to be loved. How was she supposed to win this battle? When has a man ever picked her? Come on if a pattern is recreated that many times how is she supposed to believe this time would be different?

Oh shit, he asked her why she's here fuck well she can't be honest now. Fuck she hated how she had to think quickly now. Back when nobody acted like she existed this problem like never occurred. Drinks! She was standing by the drinks that could be her reason! So she lied “oh, I just came here to get a drink.” turning from him in case he'd be able to read the dishonesty on her.

Her emotions had done a 180 in like 5 seconds. She felt like she had been riding waves going to see him. The wind hitting her hair felt exhilarating, but seeing Faye was like a piece of seaweed getting caught on her board, pushed off the confidence she once stood on now reaching for the air that had been knocked out of her trying to keep her head over water. Oh God, he's still talking to her. She just wants to hide under her comforter right now but she's stuck trying to act like she's really interested in whatever cans are in front of her.

He asked if she needed help finding anything so it seemed like her acting abilities weren't total shit. She replied, “No, I'm okay.” and looked down at the fridge. “Uh dats the malt liquor.” Fez said and all she could do was let out a “Yeah, I know.”. She didn't know just so we're clear. If you asked her to describe what malt liquor was exactly she would have no words, but at this moment she was so ready to just grab something at random to get out of there.

And somehow shit got even worse. Seeing Cal Jacobs walking towards the store reminded her how she got wrapped up in the whole Faye situation. That she hadn't told Fez that Nate's dad knew he beat him up. Maybe she wouldn't have to do it herself since the man was now inside as Fez tried to say “Sorry for not calling you-” but he was cut off by Cal asserting a “Good evening.”. She felt like shitting herself as he walked around the store looking at her and the merchandise around them. Once he started a conversation with Fez she began to hold her breath. Like why the fuck was his hand in his pocket?

Trying to get out of his sight feeling his laser like stare on her she hid behind the chips that Fez sat in front of. Fucking hell. She let out her breath as his hand reached for a bag 10 centimetres in front of her face. She could feel his body towering over her and just wanted the moment to end. Oh my fucking God. He did not just ask if she told Fez who he was. Great someone's for sure getting murdered in front of her tonight and she knows like nothing about fighting. How the fuck is she supposed to help Fez? Maybe her lying skills will come in handy when the cops ask her to identify the culprit? Then she'll be able to protect Fez, right? Did Faye really just ask if Cal was a cop right now?

Okay no, she hopes if Cal fires any bullets he'll start with her cause who the fuck says stupid shit like that? She gulped at the silence hoping the whole hand in your pocket thing only happened in movies because Cals was knee deep in his as the silence between him and Fez loomed. All this tension made her want to cuss. Like scream out “What the fuck? A twenty dollar bill that's it? Jesus Christ!”. But she just held in her breath as Fez got up and followed Cal outside to watch him leave.

Once Fez walked outside the store she loudly let out her breath looking at Fez’s back. Then she heard Faye spit out “Whys your fucking sugar daddy so fucking tense?”. Where did Fez find this girl?

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