#ahavat yisrael

[mylight-png]

If you read nothing else on my blog at least read this:

Jewish survival is beautiful, and amazing.

I know times right now are absolutely awful, and it can feel like the world is against us. We're seeing the Nazi marches, the targeting of Jewish businesses, harassment of religious Jews, and so much more at a much more severe rate than many of us have seen within our lifetimes.

But we've survived this before.

The most dangerous thing right now is to lose hope. To lose hope of a better future, to lose hope of any future. We have survived the pogroms, the Holocaust, the Inquisition, the many Middle Eastern anti-Jewish genocides and attacks, various expulsions and so much more.

I've reblogged someone else's post saying this before but I'm going to say it here again: every single Jew alive right now is a miracle.

So here's one thing I want to ask of you: Live.

Do it out of love for your fellow Jews, do it out of spite towards our enemies, do it so that there will be more miracles in the future.

Living is the greatest form of Jewish rebellion.

Living a proud Jewish life is even more so, but at the very least, please live.

Please please please don't give up on life right now. If you feel alone, reach out. Reach out to your fellow Jews, find non-Jewish allies to stand by your side, seek out supportive communities.

As a Jew, you are never truly alone. You have people who will love you like family if you just reach out, because we are one. One family, one nation, one soul. And we all care for each other.

Am Yisrael Chai 💕

[etz-ashashiyot]

if you disappear off tumblr, I understand, but you'll be missed ❤️✡️🍃

You're sweet, anon.

I doubt I'll ever fully delete this blog and will likely pop in from time to time, but I have and will continue to take a major step back. Arguing on tumblr, while often enough cathartic, was still stressing me out enough that it was detrimental to my mental health in real life and was eating up time I could and should have been spending on Torah, work, friends, family, shul, mitzvos, hobbies, etc.

My most unproductive hobby is still more valuable than arguing with bigots who will never ever ever see me or my people as human. Unfortunately it took my personal life imploding to get me to realize that, but Hashem works in mysterious ways I guess 🙃

Ideally someday I'll be able to be here a healthy amount and post quality Jewish content again. I love the Jewish community here and have loved contributing (hopefully) positively to it.

In the meantime, know that I am working on some serious cheshbon hanefesh and teshuva in order to fix my relationships with my loved ones, my relationship to observance, my relationship to myself, and to Hashem. It might still be Menachem Av on the calendar, but it's already Elul for me baby, and that means pulling back from things I know will cause me emotional harm.

I will see you all occasionally, and in the meantime, do a mitzvah in my honor: love your fellow Jews more than they could ever hate us. We are family, at the end of all this.

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

I find it so darkly amusing and charming that so many of my Israeli friends have been checking up on me and their other diaspora Jewish friends because the rising antisemitism in the diaspora has gotten so radioactive, and several have expressed that they feel safer in Israel than they would abroad.

Meanwhile we're constantly checking up on our Israeli friends like: Babes. Darlings. There's a literal war going on in your country after the most horrifying attack on Jews since the Holocaust and hundreds of people were taken captive. We're davening for YOU.

I think that we're all just so worried for each other because the world has gotten 3000% less safe for Jews literally everywhere in the world and we're all just trying to be grateful for what security we have, while we have it.

[anonymousdandelion]

Hey, Jumblr. Since we are in the middle of Sefirat HaOmer, a period for mourning and reflecting on the damage caused by baseless hatred, I thought perhaps now would be a fun time for a thread to practice the opposite: based love.

So: Reblog to share something you appreciate about a part of the Jewish community that you don't identify with.

(And/or share something you appreciate about your own Jewish community! That's awesome too!)

Because at the end of the day, we are one people — with our own strengths and good qualities that we bring to the table, as individuals and as communities. And a little extra Ahavat Yisrael never hurt anyone.

[jewishconvertthings]

hi,

i'm not a ger. i was born Jewish, and that's... that

i just wanted to say, all the respect to y'all. you're such wonderful parts of the community and i'm so. incredibly impressed by you and just like yeah love y'all have a good day

🥰 Thank you, anon. We're glad to be here ❤️

[the-tipsy-tailor]

today at the rally and march for palestine a palestinian woman, an elder, came up to me (wearing my kippah and my shabbat finest) and hugged me, thanked me for being there.

she cried on my shoulder and i just held her.

she said "we love you"

and i said i loved her too.

i feel weird about it. i don't need to be centered or praised for seeing the humanity of others. my presence there as a religious jew shouldn't be a surprise worth singling out. we should all love palestinians, muslims, they're our neighbours, even family. Hagar is an ancestor too.

we don't get out of the hole this world is in if we don't love each other. that's where solidarity comes from, love, not shared hatreds.

[hindahoney]

hey i just wanna say that the way you explain things and answer questions is very clear and concise and i really appreciate the effort you put into running this blog :3 you've been very informative !!

Thank you! This is so sweet!

[phoukanamedpookie]

My own personal and very quick explanation...

It's about community, not lineage.

If you have no meaningful connection to the Jewish people and have never sought out that connection, IMO it's inappropriate to call yourself Jewish.

Other people's MMV.

I just saw someone say, "I'm a convert, so I'm technically Jewish," and it made me want to scream and cry.

Converts - adoptees (the term my rabbi uses and I prefer) - you are exactly, precisely, as Jewish as any other Jew. It is halachically forbidden to distinguish between converts and any other Jews. Your soul is a Jewish soul. Period. You're not even supposed to ask if someone's a convert or not. It doesn't matter. You're Jewish.

And if you won't stop minimizing your Jewishness for your own sake, do it for every other convert who deserves not to have their Jewishness minimized or qualified.

Please.

[mylight-png]

Today feels like the last day.

I don't know how else to explain it. There's this feeling that after today, there can't be a tomorrow. There can't be a year two. A year three.

Years from now, some Jewish kid will be asked by an older Jew, "What year were you born?" And they'll say 2023, and the asker's mind will go to what happened, wondering if they were born in the Before or in the After.

It feels like time ought to stop.

But it doesn't.

Time goes on, we go on.

We do not have the luxury of putting our lives on hold, we have to carry on, both for ourselves and for those who cannot.

October 7th was the darkest time in many of our lives. The year after it was a year of heartbreak and pain. However, it was also a year of strength.

We cried, we mourned, we hurt, and then we stood together.

The amount of Jewish pride, Jewish love, and Jewish unity (Jewnity?) we've witnessed this past year is a miracle in itself.

So remember, we've outlived all those who fought to destroy us, and we'll outlive them now too, together.

We do not forget, we do not move on, but we continue to move forward with the past ever present in our minds.

Am Yisrael Chai, then, now, and forever.

Today we mourn, tomorrow we rise up and continue to stand with our Jewish/Israeli family.

[etz-ashashiyot]

Guys I know things are really stressful and have been for a while now, but it only helps the antisemites if we are at each other's throats.

[psychologeek]

For anyone unfamiliar with the term - "Israel" is another name of biblical Jacob (Ya'akov).

"Bney Israel" (lit. Sons of Israel, mean "the descendants of Israel") are anyone who's Jewish.

The state of Israel was named after this old name for us, as a group (going back all the way to the time we were 60 people, and immigrated to Egypt due to drought.)

There's a reason you can't stop crying, and that's because the Jewish people are one family. When your brothers and sisters are hurting, you're hurting as well.

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Do we all need a refresher on tochecha? I think that the last several days of internet have shown me that perhaps we all might.

Here's an excellent article from Rabbi Freedman of Rodeph Shalom:

Tochecha: How We Rebuke

Picture the scene: The Israelites have been wandering for 40 years in the desert and are finally on the banks of the Jordan river just mere miles from the Holy Land. Moses, knowing that his time as their leader is coming to end, offers one final speech to his people. This not-so-short speech, which is basically the entire book of Deuteronomy, is a look back at their shared history and words of advice for their future. Specifically in this first portion of Deuteronomy, D’varim, Moses does not mince words and offers a harsh rebuke of his people. He says:

…you rebelled against the command of your God. You grumbled in your tents… I said to you, “Do not be terrified; do not be afraid…your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as God did for you in Egypt…” In spite of this, you did not trust in your God, and when God heard what you said, God was angry and solemnly swore that no one from this evil generation shall see the good land I swore to give your ancestors… And because of you God became angry with me also and said, “You shall not enter it, either.

We have name for this type of unsolicited advice in Judaism – tochecha. Literally, tochecha is a reproof or a rebuke, a spoken frankness that reveals a fixable flaw. The purpose of giving a tochecha is to point out an important truth that someone just seems to keep missing. It is one of Judaism’s most spiritual practices, not to be dished out carelessly or in anger, but with genuine concern for another human being.

In the case of Moses and the Israelites, the tochecha from Moses is related to people’s lack of faith in God. Moses, seemingly coming from a place of love, is worried that if they continue to grumble, and fear, and fail to have faith, then it will not end well for the Israelites; especially without Moses to have their back as has throughout the journey. Moses knows he will no longer be there to help his people and so this final speech, this final rebuke, is an act of love.

Fundamentally, tochecha is a mitzvah of connection — a cornerstone of healthy relationships and strong community. If we can trust our neighbors to tell us the truth lovingly, and if we can hear a reprimand with calm consideration, then our path to one of Judaism’s most sought after spiritual destinations, shalom/wholeness, is well paved.

Tochecha — the art of giving and receiving honest feedback or rebuke — is part of the biblical formula for sustaining friendships and relationships. According to the talmudic rabbis, it is an integral part of love; without tochecha, love cannot endure. (Bereshit Raba 54:3) I see evidence of this every day while counselling wedding couples. Those who are skilled at giving and receiving feedback are able to sustain healthy relationships over the long term, while those who lack such skills are ill-equipped to deal with relationship challenges when they arise. Tochecha requires great integrity and impeccable communication skills. It also requires the use of an array of psychological capacities and virtues, including humility, empathy, mindfulness, courage, non-defensiveness, and integration. While highly evolved individuals welcome tochecha as an opportunity for self-improvement, most people defend against having their shortcomings pointed out to them, and they will employ a range of psychological defenses, including denial and projection, to protect themselves from the pain of reproof. According to Estelle Frankel, a psychotherapist and Jewish educator, we increase the likelihood that our words will be heard by paying attention to three things: our timing, tone, and intention.

Timing: The rabbis teach that just as it is a mitzvah to offer words of tochecha when our words are likely to be heard, it is a mitzvah to stay silent when our words will not be heard. (Yevamot 65) Before speaking, we need to be mindful of our own emotional state as well as that of the listener. If we are emotionally triggered or angry, or notice that the listener is in a state of agitation, it is better to wait for a more opportune time — one that is mutually agreed upon.

Tone: A voice that is angry, disdainful, blaming, or judgmental can undermine our message. It is better to communicate tochecha with humility and empathy. Remembering that we are all flawed and that we all possess the capacity for wrongdoing is key. When possible, offer feedback and insight as an equally imperfect individual — no better or worse than anyone else. As it says in Pirkei Avot (Chapter 2, Mishnah 5), “Do not judge your neighbors until you have stood in their place.”

Intention: Tochecha is not simply a matter of venting; rather, it involves a conscious effort to heal a breach in a relationship or to help others to awaken to their spiritual and moral deficits. Tochecha is most effective when we make use of our psychological capacity for integration — the ability to see ourselves and others as whole beings with strengths and weaknesses, virtues and vices. With integration, we do not define people by their mistakes and flaws; rather, we point out specific criticisms at the same time that we remember the person’s essential goodness. When giving tochecha, it is helpful to express our loving concern, respect, and appreciation alongside any critique. Doing so reduces defensiveness and any sense that the criticism is an assault on the individual’s character.

Looking back now upon Moses’ words of rebuke in this chapter, we find that perhaps he could have done it a bit better. One of the amazing aspects of our tradition is that our prophets are not perfect and that we actually learn quite a bit from their failings. Moses’ tone seems overly harsh and the setting perhaps not ideal. In addition, I think there is one more major flaw in Moses’ rebuke.

The Baal Shem Tov (c.1698-1760), the founder of Chasidism, taught that if we see another person doing something ugly, we should meditate on the presence of that same ugliness in ourselves. He writes that we should, “know that it is one of God’s mercies that God brought this sight before our eyes in order to remind us of that our own faults, so as to bring us back in repentance…” He then gives examples such as, “if you saw someone desecrating Shabbat, or desecrating God’s name some other way, you should examine your own deeds and you will certainly find among them desecration of the Shabbat and cursing God’s name.”

According to the Baal Shem Tov sometimes when we judge others about a particular character fault, we might actually be subconsciously critiquing a character fault of our own. Since we’re uncomfortable doing a self-critique because it hurts too much, yet at the same time we don’t like that aspect of ourselves, we “project” that unwanted character trait onto another individual and critique the other person—which is a much more comfortable thing to do. What the Baal Shem Tov is asking us to do is to be aware that we might subconsciously do this, and to focus our critique inward instead.

Moses is near the end of his life, knows he won’t be going into the land and is working through some issues – trying to come to terms with his own failings and thus projecting them on others. Yes, the people had anger issues, trust issues and complained a lot during the journey. But so did Moses! Moses claims that he won’t be allowed in the land because of the people’s sin. Here Moses is failing to see his own flaws and projecting them on his people.

When we practice tochecha, who are we doing it for? To what degree do we see our own failings in our loved ones? It is not always so easy in the moment but we most constantly ask ourselves before giving criticism, who is this for? Is the timing and tone right? What are my intentions? Will this person actually listen? How can I give feedback in the most thoughtful, least humiliating way?

I’ll end with a short story about the famous 19th century rabbi, Israel Kagan, also known as the Chofetz Chayim, which illustrates one possible, non-shaming way to give tochecha. A student at the yeshiva was caught smoking on the Shabbat. When he was called into the Chofetz Chayim’s office, he anticipated being harshly rebuked. Instead, the old rabbi took the young man’s hands into his own and gazed into his eyes with loving concern and sorrow. A tear fell from the rabbi’s eyes, landing on the student’s hand as he uttered three words: “Shabbos, Shabbos HaKodesh – Shabbat, Shabbat is holy.” The young man was deeply distressed to have caused his teacher such sorrow. On the spot, he repented and never broke the Sabbath again. The rabbi’s tears, an expression of his love and concern, left an indelible mark on the young man’s soul.

For further reading, Sefaria has you covered.

[rotzaprachim]

list of things that make one a Zionist: holding the political belief that Jews have a right to a unilaterally “Jewish state” as a political entity (medinat yisrael) in Palestine and also have the right to the mechanisms to maintain the “Jewishness” of that state and arguably to defend it over time. Many Zionists are not Jewish.

list of things that do not automatically make one a Zionist: being Jewish. Having Jewish friends. Condemning Hamas. Condemning antisemitism. Acknowledging antisemitism exists. Speaking modern Hebrew. Being Israeli. Having an Israeli passport. Living in Israel. Visiting Israel. Making hummus. Eating falafel while Jewish. Using the words “tziyon” and “yerushalayim.” Going to a temple with “yisrael” in the name. Using the phrases “am yisrael” “Haaretz yisrael” “klal yisrael” and “ahavat yisrael.” Being just soooo sketchy and Jewish. Wearing those funny little hats. Wearing one of those funny little stars that’s even on the flag!!!! Playing funny little songs. Being Jewish

[jewishconvertthings]

Honestly can I just say: all of y'all who are starting or continuing your conversions right now, even in these terrible times, and experiencing and embracing Jewish joy at a time when it is very hard to be Jewish? You are such a miracle and a blessing. There is a special kind of ahavat Yisrael - love for the Jewish people - that gerim bring to the table, and it's so life-giving always. But especially in dark times. Especially now.

May your light be a blessing on all of us!

[etz-ashashiyot]

@generalmeowskers This is very true for me, too. I've had people ask me why I care so much about people I don't know, but the truth is that they are not strangers to me at all; I met them before at Sinai.

I dont think goyim understand that we see every jew that is in pain as ourselves and our family. and how could we not? that woman has the same smile lines as my mother. i wonder if she feels proud of them. that man has the same glasses as my great uncle. that man is trying to grow out his beard just like my brother and i. that woman looks like she's going to tell a joke to the cameraman. she reminds me of my grandmother. I miss her just as much. that boy was about to go to college to study the same thing as me. maybe someday we would have been friends. I think we could have. that girl has complained about getting up for synagogue way too early in the morning just as I have. these men all share the name of my grandfather. he died before I was born when my mother was a baby. she tells us she sees him in my brother and I. I know this woman, she was friends with my grandma who taught her how to make jewelry. id recognize a necklace like that anywhere. this man is sick with the same thing my great aunt has. I hope they both have some time left.

how could I not see other jews as my family when they are so close to the ones I love in mind, body, and spirit. how could I distance myself from their pain when it is not their eyes looking at me, but the eyes of my mother?

[mossadspypigeon]

to people who lecture me about calling out fellow jews:

hating, demonizing, and spreading blood libel about half of our population and the one jewish majority country in the world is not ahavat yisrael. it’s the opposite.

demonizing israel’s government when you don’t even know how it functions? not loving your fellow jew. netanyahu derangement syndrome? same. criticize him without calling to kill or abuse him or send him for the hostages, etc.

saying israel is occupying palestine or committing genocide or oppressing palestinians? is spreading blood libel. which is not ahavat yisrael.

denying our indigeneity? ridiculous. especially if you pray in hebrew or observe any judaism at all. stop believing revisionist history written by our colonizers.

demonizing our landback movement? same.

israel IS jewish. we are connected. failing to see that is abandoning the hope of our ancestors and shitting on your people.

and i won’t stop calling it out. hope that helps.