#ahah ok here it is all done

[fictionalmenxyn]

߷𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬߷

Pairing: Chris x influencer!reader (established relationship)

Warnings: language, suggestive talking

-☺︎︎☺︎︎☺︎︎-

You had just arrived back at the LA house. Holding food bags from McDonalds. You went over to Matt’s room and dropped his food off. Realising the boys were on stream, but Chris was in his room.

You headed down to the bottom floor, Chris’ room. You knock on the door then open it.

Chris looks over and smiles “hey chat, my meal is here.” He smirks and made sure to hide his actual food from the camera. As you walks over and sat in the spare chair. Chat blew up.

‘OMG HEY Y/N!!’ ‘EW CHRIS U JUST CALL HER UR MEAL LOL’ ‘CHRIS NO AHAH 😂’ ‘y/n is not his food guys she went to McDonalds 😭’ ‘omg Y/n on stream with the boys’ ‘cuties!!!’

You smiled at the camera “hey guys, imma hop on stream with Chris and Matt.” Chris smiled and placed his meal out on the desk “chat should Y/n take over while I eat??” Matt joked “yeah, she better anyways.” Chris playfully gasped “absolutely not!!” You laughed. Taking the controller from Chris. You started to play Fortnite with Matt.

As you played, Chris watched and read chat as he ate. He’d giggle at some comments. He asked “hey chat?? Should I feed Y/n/n a nuggie??” You laughed. Chat obviously agreed. You joked “the fucking edits are gonna go wild…” he laughed “perfect!”

He held a nugget to your lips, you took a bite. Then he fed you the other half. You thanked him then handed over the controller as he was done eating.

You talked with everyone who was watching the stream as they played. Chris glanced over and chuckled “chats asking ass or tits…” Matt replied “personality, then heart..” Chris smirked “exactly…” you pulled a ‘ok, did he just agree to that’

Then Chris added “then ass.” You gasped “I was fucking waiting for that!!” You added “I was like ‘damn he really just agreed with Matt without saying that’s then you said it I was like ‘there it is’” you all laugh.

While Matt was doing something, you and Chris sat in his room waiting for Matt’s return.

Chris was eating a pack of sour patch kids. You stuck your index finger and thumb out. You give him the puppy dog eyes “can I have you?” He grinned “magic word??” “Please??” “It’s abracadabra!” He laughed hard. You laughed at him, thinking ‘how the fuck was it that funny??’ He held the pack out to you “here babe, since you sooo kindly said ‘please’ I guess I’ll let you have some.” You smiled “thank youuu”

You looked to the camera “see chat, this is what I gotta stick up with.” That earned a loud gasp from Chris “you did not!” He put his sour patch kids down and started play fighting with you.

Matt returned to his room, sitting back in his chair. “You guys ready for another round on here? Or we playin’ dress to impress???” No answer… “Chris? Y/n? Chat, what’re they doing??” He leaned closer to his screen and read chat. Spamming.

‘They’re play fighting again!!’

Matt chuckles, you get back into your seat again “Matt come get your fuggly ass brother” Chris playfully but definitely gently punched your arm. You punched his back “ow bitch! That hurt!” You giggled. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” “Wa, wa, babe, too bad so sad.” Chris demanded “kiss it better!!” You laughed. Giving his shoulder a kiss.

After a while, you were now sat on his lap as you watched him and Matt play dress to impress. “No Chris get the mini skirt!!” “I’m getting there!!” You clapped when he put it on the avatar “fucking slay, hoe!” He smiled. You said “chat, rate fit outta ten!” Everyone spamming nines and tens.

As the ratings started, Chris wrapped his arms around your waist. Placing a few small kisses to your cheek and jaw. He smiled “foot outfit choice, baby” you smiled “what can I say, I’m just too good.” Matt and Chris laughed.

You lean back into Chris, resting your head on his shoulder. Staying like that for the rest of the stream. In between all the play fighting and grabbing snacks. He also gave you the occasional kisses and pecks. You were the official ‘chat reader’ as Chris put it. Reading out chat and talking to the viewers. Everyone loved you on stream with the guys while they played games all night.

-☺︎︎☺︎︎☺︎︎-

[radioroxx]

*slides you $500 in monopoly money* spare deets about the isafrin kids? i love them soooooooo much and would love love love to know even more!!!

like!! how did they get wished into existence? were they just There one day as small kids, or did they come as babies? did aurore come first and then eile? and isafrin!!! they look different!!?!!?! love love love love postcanon designs and would love to hear your thoughts on them (and! their bonding earrings??)

I WROTE THIS OUT AND REALIZED HOW STUPID LONG IT IS SO. ITS GOING UNDER A CUT. WOWZERS

Ok first- WISH BABIES!!!

uh. uhm. uh

ahah. oops!!

though we did get to discussing a few options after getting this ask (more like. i. asked them. and they provided. im not the thinker in this group. hehe!)

(@chromatasia )

for context on this one- i believe a while ago we also talked about wishing involving sacrificing? the idea of givinf up a piece of yourself (sometimes physically, like hair) to help power a wish! or link yourself to it?

a second option (three whole screenshots…)

(@unregisteredskybox )

carve your own baby!! yay!

general idea for our fankids though is that yes, they were created super young. and as babies. so aurore wouldve been crafted a few years before eilé :)

so yea ur two options <3 pick i guess lol. i dont have a solid idea there.

the second half of your questions- yes!! isafrin! theyre older and different!! wahoo!

the older isafrin designs were moreso. i wanted to have a little fun and made them. lawl. but now i get an excuse to share anyway :) so here!!

numbered the details to make it a lil easier. also dont mind these r quick scribbles,,

1- general outfits and stuff. siffrins i wanted to keep mostly similar to how i usually draw them. sleeveless top, horrible and unnecessary amount of belts,, knowing that hes maybe not as eager to change as some others might be. they are comfortable in their style and thats what matters. for isabeau i wanted to keep a familiar vibe, but still change it up. i think he would still wear clothes that are flowy-er etc etc, buuut yeayeayea. not an outfits guy really so jfkf theyre pretty simple.

2- themb!! they look different! siffrins hair is longer obv obv, and no lightless dye anymore. they tie it back usually, but he still likes it long. also some facial hair. important to me. (you may also notice lack of eyepatch,, personal hc that siffrin gets more comfortable without it after making up with bonnie some more. that he maybe depending on it a lot because he thought it would make them uncomfortable, which theyyy dont have to worry about. anymore! so less eyepatch. sometimes still though). isa on the other hand looks mooostly the same! except. ofc. bigger beard. you guys should know i love my beards by now. lawl. other than that mostly the same,, physical pain in me trying to think of a different hairstyle for him… maybe in the future but for now he gets This.

3- new cloak-thing for sif! his regular cloak is probably much more well suited for the travelling lifestyle, much less the domestic stay-at-home lifestyle, soo they changed it up! (and totally not an excuse for isabeau to try out craft stitching nooo definitely not as practice for the future whaat who said that.) they will still wear the old cloak occasionally, buuut not as often as they used to.

4- finally! bonding earrings!!! yes! the designs themselves are pretty simple. squares and change symbols for the design sif made for isa, and a star with bits that go ding-ding that isa made for sif. more importantly, siffrin carved the earrings himself! it is. hard. to do that. a design that is so small. there were many failed attempts and scraped ideas but they got it done! and isa loves them very much. for isas design, the main star part is glass, and the dangling bits are carved gems (picture isabeau, panicking because this is siffrin hes making these for so it needs to be perfect. and he gets odile to help him, because despite all the teasing she is ofc very fond, and helps him out with that aspect of the design.)

ok thats all - bye bye bye

[lizzieislife94x]

Mafia Boss (e.o)

Requested<3

Lizzie x G!P Reader

Y/ns POV:

"Just get it done keep it clean and call me when it's done!" I spit out at the idiots I call employees they can't do anything right, I hang up slamming my phone on the table "baby is everything ok" my beautiful girlfriend Elizabeth says walking over rubbing her hand up and down my arm "yeah everything's ok baby just work hey I got you this dress for the party tonight" I say softly handing her the dress I bought I won't lie it's short and tight and I know its gonna hug her ass and tits perfectly "babyyyy thank you so much" she exclaimed excitedly jumping up and down as I pull her into a passionate kiss after a minute of her soft lips working against mine I break away and slap her ass "go get ready sexy we leave in 2 hours" I say as she turns and walks away.

Finally she's ready I look at her as my eyes almost pop out there head "fuck me lizzie you look wow" I say flirting with my sexy ass girlfriend "by the way you take forever to get ready" I giggle as she slaps my arm "and you wouldn't have it any other way by the way you look sexy y/n I don't know why but seeing you in suits does things to me it really does" she bites her lip as she runs her hand over my crotch knowing exactly what she doing "ah ahah I don't think so lizzie not right now behave we need to get to this party I have a little business to take care of" she pouts and walks out to the car as I shake my head and laugh at her "someone's pouty" I tease as I get in to drive it takes almost 40 mins to arrive as i hand my keys to a valet "my lady shall we" I smile offering my hand to my frustrated girlfriend "boss they're here and waiting we've checked no weapons so all clear to go in" my right hand man whispers as I nod to let him know I understand "hey princess I need to take care of business go have a drink ill be done in 5 minutes" I say as I kiss my girlfriend on the head.

Lizzies POV: 

Fuck she's so sexy walking away no lizzie don't think about how sexy y/n is she's in the bad books she left you wet and needy and she didn't even know it, I honestly have no reason to be annoyed but i just am she knows it turns me on, I strut over to the bar and order a drink as I patiently wait for my girlfriend I hate when she's dealing with business I don't want her to get hurt, I let out a sigh as I drink my drink "well what's a beauty like you doing alone care to dance" a charming 6 foot blonde man asks trying to hit on me I should tell him who my girlfriend is but decided against it i think its time to really annoy y/n "omg yes thank you I'd love to dance" I say as I take his hand and follow him to the dance floor we continue to dance for a while until I spot y/n glaring at me I decided to push a little further and really play with fire so slowly start to grind on him smirking as I do. 

Y/ns POV:

We walk out and shake hands with the leader of the opposite gang as we just finished laying some ground rules as soon as I turn my head I see lizzie with some guy all over her dancing what the fuck is she doing is she trying to end this guy, as soon as she locks eyes with me she starts grinding on this idiot "find out who that is that's all over her before I start fucking hurting people" I spit out as the jealousy bursts out of me "umm ahh actually y/n that's my son" the man I just finished the meeting with chimes in "well if you don't get him away from my fucking girlfriend right now I will make sure he sleeps with the fishes and ill do it personally you have 10 seconds 9..8..7" i start to count anger spilling from my lips as his 2 of his people run over to pull him away from lizzie i take a second to calm down before I walk over to her with a smile "now princess what was that all about I think we better get going because your in trouble "

I see her visibly gulp and take her hand leading her out to the car as we wait for them to bring it round lizzie whisper just loud enough for me to hear "baby I uh..I.. nothing happened I just wanted to push your buttons you left me all needy" awh she's trying to seem like butter wouldn't melt "and you think rubbing your ass against some dude is nothing oh honey you need to be taught a lesson you need to remember who you belong to" I say loud enough for people around to hear and I see her face turn red as I open the door for her to get into the car and climb into the drivers seat "what's wrong princess " I taunt resting my hand on her thigh as I drive home slipping it higher every so often "baby I'm yours no one elses" she says out of the blue making me giggle "and I'm yours but you need to learn that no one gets to touch what's mine your lucky that dude was 5 seconds away from taking a nap in the Hudson " I say as she bites her lip when I'm in full business mode she loves it she loves the power I hold "fuck baby I wouldn't have been dancing with him if you didn't leave me wet and needy before we left" I look at her shocked and laugh "what are you talking about I didn't tease you before we left you tried to grab my dick princess " she huffs and folds her arms "you know what you in suits does to me you could have fucked me before we left "I squeeze her thigh and smirk "princess I had business to attend to but trust me your getting fucked as soon as we get home" I say sweetly giving her a smile after 10 minutes of driving we arrive home and lizzie rushes out and runs outside as I giggle following her so needy I head straight upstairs knowing she'll be in the bedroom and stop in my tracks "how did you get naked so quick" I say as I bite my lip walking over to her "I have my ways" she smirks pulling me down into a Firey kiss as she works on getting my clothes off after a minute I stand up to remove my boxers I slowly rub my dick as I look into her eyes and grab her ankles pulling her to the edge of the bed "mhh good girls get lots of foreplay bad girls get pounded till they can't take it anymore " I husk out into her ear as I feel her full body shiver I bite my lips as I tease her entrance with the tip of my cock fuck she wasn't lying about being wet "please y/n please fuck me I've been a naughty girl" as soon as the words leave her mouth I sink deep inside my girlfriend bottoming out in one thrust "yesssssssss y/n fuckkkk aaaah" she screams as she arches her back "is this what you wanted you naughty girl my cock deep inside you?" She nods with her eyes closed as I thrust hard and deep "words Elizabeth words is this what you wanted" I continue my relentless pace pounding into lizzie the sounds ofher wet cunt as my dick slams in and out is music to my ears her moans make me so fucking hard "yes yes yes this is...what..I.. wanted baby fuck don't stop I'm cumingggg " I moan as I feel her walls hug my cock tighter "fuck lizzie this pussy is mine" I moan as I fuck her faster not giving her time to recover I feel the knot in my stomach getting stronger "fuck baby I'm so close I'm gonna fill your little cunt is that ok" I moan out as I lift her leg over my shoulder getting deeper "uhh...fu...oh god yes baby cum inside me please I want to feel you" i look down and notice lizzie cumming again as she creams over my cock I feel my thrusts getting sloppy as my orgasm approaches fast after a few more thrusts I slam deep inside her filling her with my seed as I lean my forehead against hers breathing fast "fuck princess" she moans and I smirk "yeah it was amazing but remember your mine if anyone touches you again ill make them disappear " I say with a smile as I lay next to her pulling her close "so protective I love it y/n I love you" she whispers against my ear making me smile.

AN: if you have any requests let me know, hope this was OK word count 1.5k 

[captainsvscaptains]

Round 1 Part 7 Poll 3

Propaganda

She's has the worst of times to match her morals, ok? There's that but Locked Tomb spoilers ahead if you want more. There it goes ...

She is above average but not exceptional unless you count she is the daughther of the Chief of the Admiralty. But onto what she has done/suffered : first she gets her lieutenant (they work in matched pairs in the story ) beaten up when she put her against what she thought was the weakest of the group that turned out to be more powerful than anyone could predict.Then she got said lieutenant killed horribly by a mistake she made.

Got captured by the enemies that do not let her die and instead use her special habilities to maneuver a ship . The woman she's been pining for twelve years is also there trying to convince her to deflect and change sides or at least let her take the place of her dead lieutenant to be by her side but she does neither preferring to suffer in silence.

Finally she was taken to another location where she was tortured for six months due being exposed to a blue orb that drive those with her habilities into madness .

All this because of a misplaced sense of loyalty to an imperializing emperor and she doesn't even have her own ship ! "

God's most autistic soldier <3 literally he is god's soldier he's the chosen one. He was chosen from birth to either destroy the sea or flood the planet because the sun and moon goddesses couldn't figure out if they wanted more land or sea on their planet so they picked some guy to do it for them. Gillion also collects titles. Here's some of them: Champion of the Undersea; Hero of the Deep; The One; Singer Songwriter for Gillion and the Tidestriders' hit single The Hole In Your Heart; Paramount Champion; Walking Fish; Moisture Master; Eater of Grass, Beater of Ass. That's probably enough for now ahah he has wayy more. Also he is a fish man (triton)

[yanderefarm]

I like them all not gonna lie (they all are my obsession every single one of them) but if I had to explain

Ajax/Emil are my least favorite even if internalized homophobia resonates with me a lot actually (military field was pretty hard on me ahh-) I need to work on that because I'm pretty sure I can do big things with them.

Achilles, I still don't know what to do with him, I really like him but I think that I want to transform him in a dumb husband like let me take care of you after rough session, plus I don't think that he should work as a crime lord, he could get in dangerous situations (and I'm the only one who can hurts him). If he wants to keep going with his job? Then let me be your guard dog at work and your tormentor at home. I think that he is the most capable to help me even if I would probably need to tell him what to do first but is he enough of a yapper?

Ares is... Well. I think that he got a lot of potential, as I think that he would actually be a cool wife even if I would have to break his hearts jar first, I am supposed to be the only one. I like the idea of fake flirting but not with him I guess that it would enraged me more than excited but it never happened to me before. Probably be one of the best to help me with pain from day to day life because he would probably know how to help me and all.

Nephite, well as said in a thought sharing, I discovered him recently, at first I just didn't care about him but now? He is cute. I like his way to be and definitely want to 'break' his mind to get out of his cult, like come with me I want to see you discovering everything and freeing yourself from Religious stuff.

Noemie, aaah Noemie, I think that he is cute even if a bit too extreme sometimes (As said I could bite his left ring finger off but I'm not really into cannibalism.), I like the fact that he is a yapper, I need someone to talk about anything every fucking seconds of their life, it helps me a lot actually. So he is pretty high on the tierlist but eh he got some downside.

Silvan, it is pretty hard because he got pretty popular at some point among anons so I'm forced to like him because I've read a lot of things about him. I could definitely show him off to people but not as clear. He is my doll but I would be more subtle about it, but I would definitely call him doll and probably get him nice necklaces, clothes and all to show to people that he is mine without having to say it outloud.

OK I think that everyone is here, to cut a long story short, They are all my favorite because they are my brainrot, plus I would get their knees no matter who they are, I need to remind them where their place is. By my side and only mine (and yours, so I should ours). Which can be easily done considering that, I'm really tall and pretty muscular despite pain (knees, hands and back pain ahah-) I could almost break their skull with my bare hands. That's probably why I'm not into removing their body autonomy (mainly because trauma) because I can make them submit by force and if really needed I can break their legs but they will always get them back.

Sorry for the long request I never been this active on a blog nor been this obsessed with OC from someone, so well done bunny! GGWP, you got yourself an obsessed tall man who would write you lot of request during the night (because I'm in EU so for me it is during the day) because he thought that you (and anons) would be interested in thoughts in his brain.

-Tall anon (Can I do this? Can I just say tall anon and go on or do I need an emoji?)

tall anon i just know you're really hot. also yeah you can just be tall anon dw hdskjdj

this is interesting to read!!! i like to know what you like about everyone.

also jsyk the yappers are noemie, ares, and nephite. achilles is a lot more quiet but he can talk a lot about things he likes (i.e mascot characters). silvan is pretty much only speak when spoken to. emil and ajax aren't yappers but they could be like they both fully have the capacity to talk your ear off if you wanted them to.

[themulitipurposechannel]

Hello!

I LOVE your story!!! CJ having healing Ninpo is so genius and it’s making my brain run wild with possibilities!

Are there any tidbits you’d like to share about the au? Also could you possibly explain what happened with CJ aging due to Ninpo (in the latest update)?

(No need to answer any of the questions if you do not want to)

AWESOME COMIC, AWESOME STORY, AWESOME ART!!! I can’t wait to see more!!!

Hope you have a great day ^-^

BDJDHDHDHDHD Aww dude stop you have no idea how happy this makes me 😭 I’m so so so happy you love my au!! 💗💗💗 I love the concept of Casey with healing powers! He’s has a temper but I still think suits him so well given how protective he is as a person ahah!! And I’m so glad there are ppl out there who agree with me too! But Hehe yesss join me join me in my healer!Cj brain worms hehehe

.

Hmm since you asked bout the aging(and that’s a little complicated) I’ll answer that first. So I can’t go into too much detail cuz that will spoilers for a comic and some other art that will explain everything! ..Maybe😂 But I will say this. Cj unlocked his Ninpo when he was 10 he was fine, he was aging normally. Till a certain incident happened when he was 11 and well.. we all know what happened next, freshly baked trauma and he aged a couple years forward overnight plus some extra long term injuries (that I will go into later).

The good news is that as long as he doesn’t push himself like that again he will be aging mostly linearly again? But the damage has alr been done 😅. But anyways, after the incident, he never pushed himself like that again. One, cuz the Hamato fam would never allow it and Two, cuz the recovery period is so long/bad (cuz Cj is no master and worse he’s a literal child unlike Mikey who was in his early 20s when the cursed Aging started) no one can afford for him to be knocked out of commission like that again. It makes him wayy too vulnerable.

Post-incident, at his worst he has only aged a few days forward but cuz that’s so small no one except Master Michelangelo (cuz he’s a mystic master and cuz he’s also in the same boat) can tell the difference. Plus it’s so negligible it doesn’t technically matter.

But long story short, pulling himself tgt from that incident physically and mentally loooonnng time haha. But as you can see even now it still leaves its scars haha and probably always will.

.

As for any other tidbits? Oh gosh where do I start ? Ahh there is just so much to say! Ok update wise I’m actually working a PMV for Healer!Cj so if I go quiet for a while that’s why. Idk how long it’s gonna take but I’m excited to show some sneak peaks along the way lol. This is my first time doing something like this so here’s to hoping it goes well!

.

Lore wise: although Cj does have a subway car in the lair. Once he gets more settled in he actually bounces around quite a bit. Boy was not meant to stay in one place for too long. While he does spent most of the week at the lair cuz the underground is familiar too him, he will spend 3-4 days crashing on the couch at April/Casey’s apartment. And on a rare blue moon he’ll give Draxum a heart attack 😂 by breaking into his apartment and sleeping on that old man’s couch. After a while it becomes their own little inside joke 😂. Draxum tries Cj-proof his apartment using mystic or otherwise and Cj makes it a point to still try and sneak in.

.

And the surprise of no one. In this Au, Uncle Mi is Cj’s favourite uncle. Sometimes second pesudo dad. But mostly on accident by a very sleep deprived Cj.

.

I have plans for P!Casey to eventually develop Ninpo a few years down the line. But I can’t think of any powers for her so if ya’ll got any suggestions pls fire away.

.

And oh P!Leo is gonna permanently need a leg brace. Sometimes on rlly rlly bad days, he will need to use a crutch (not that he ever does cuz he’s wayy to stubborn) but you get the picture.

Raph’s eye is permanently gone, Donnie and his shell will heal but bro will have chronic back pain for life plus certain parts of his shell where the tendrils dug into the thickest are now numb cuz ya know, nerve damage from being literally ripped out the technodrone. Mikey will need to wear compression gloves but his shaking gets significantly better over time. So he draw but he still needs to every two months or so he can get pretty bad flareups which are jsut Oof.

.

Good news is April is fine aside from a broken arm during the invasion that will heal. Splinter was surprisingly not that badly injured just a few pulled muscles here and there. And Cj is Obvi fine too aside from a minor concussion that he got prior to time traveling. Which to him was basically nothing. The reactions by everyone else was hilarious and a major culture shock for Cj. Turns out his apocalypse pain scale was drastically different to their normal not apocalypse pain scale.

It was hilarious the gang were like: “you’ve running around taking care of us a lot. Are you good?”

Cj: “yup all fine. Just a few bumps and scrapes”

8 Hours later..

Cj: “It looks like everyone’s settled? Great. I’ll go grab painkillers for my concussion now.”

Them: “I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOOD!?”

.

Long story short no one escaped the failed invasion unscathed :’D but also whoops sorry for the long ramble 😅 this kidna got away for me 😂

[vminizzle]

soo i know i said bye for real in the last one, but hehe here i am....

....again

I was wondering IF YOU SAW JUNGKOOK'S LIVE??? LIKE MAN'S GOT ME DELULU !?!?!?

oh and did you watch barbie or Oppenheimer? oh and your thoughts on it.

ok i swear im done now okie byebyebye

(also my wattpad is A_bhandari or book_lover(s?) idek 😭)

(and ignore most of my stuff on it, i made it is so long it's very cringe and im too lazy to change it 😔😭)

(byee love youu)

(really sorry if I'm annoying you though or anyone else idk?)

I honestly don’t mind having you again in my ask ahah

I DOOOOOOO I SAW THE LIVE YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT !!! HE IS THE REASON WHY I’M MENTALLY NOT STABLE !! I’M DELUSIONAL BECAUSE OF HIM I’M SICK 😭😭

yes, I watched barbie !!! And it was barbitastic (damn that was a terrible pun, I apologize for it)

I loved it !! Everything was just wonderful! The whole movie really caught me! I was so into it. Plus, i love Margot and Ryan, they’re both one of my favs actors. I loved the story.

Barbie and Ken don’t ending up together really made me feel some kind of mixed feelings. I don’t know if you get it? He was funny ngl. But I liked the way barbie told him to try to find himself, that was cool. Because he was so dependent of her.

What about you?? Which movie did you watch? Both? What’s your thoughts about them?

(I won’t ignore it hehe 😼)

(You’re not annoying at all :( I love it! Please if really makes me happy !! Love youuuuu 💕)

[ask-but-beware-the-consequences]

Note: OK, first things first, I started drawing this while traveling on a bus, in an Easternish Europian country, so the roads were very bumpy and it was hard to write, so I'm going to write here the texts too. I hope you like this short story I came up with! ^^ (I'm obsessed with putting easter eggs into everything)

1: God: Today I unite you, God: And all shall witness.

[Crowley hides themselves with his wings] 2: A: It's alright, my darling. No needd to cover me. God: He is right, Crowley. You can't fight anyone's fate. God: For it has already been written. God: My sweet children, I have sent humanity for you to learn from. God: And you two were the first ones, who ever did. Crowley, my fallen archangel, Raphael, guardian demon of the tree, and aid of humanity…- A: What?! You're an archangel?

3: C: Does it matter now? A: N-no. God: Aziraphale, principality of the Eastern gate… my softest angel. Your worries may layed to rest, for from this day forward, you shan't leave one another. God: Take my gift, he will be the guardian of humanity. The fruit of your love will be Rathma. A, and C: What?! God: Demon, will you take my gift, and his hand? C: … I'd like to hear it from him first! God: Very well, angel? A: Crowley… I will.

4: C: Then, C: I will too… God: You may kiss your spouse.

5:

6: later, somewhere in London [wings flap, they are falling apart, from being untangled from their wings, finally falling back into cushions at the library] C: What- What just happened? A: I think… we just got married.

7: C: Angel. Did you really want this? C: I mean, them leaving us alone is nice and all, but… Isn't this going too fast for you? A: Crowley, dear. This was just a ceremony of spending our time together. I think we already did that for 6000 years. C: Did you not hear the part about Rathma?! A: Crowley, I will do no such thing until I know you can love me. C: Oh, so you mean to tell me, you also don't have free will. Beacuse angels can't have that.

8: C: You just heard Her. We are on our own side. C: You didn't say yes, just because you were forced, right? A: It's not as if we can't set our own pace. She didn't say any date. C: So you do lov- A: Ahah, would you like some wine? Let's get drunk! [alcohol appears]

9: C: …sure. I'd like to be summoned while I'm too drunk to care about the change of surroundings. If that happens again. [Bunch of alcohol later] C: My point is… Ducks! [A: again?] C: They have eggs. Real good parental defene… defenend… guardians! Put their heir in an egg! Kids fresh out the egg can run! See! Speak too! Snakes have eggs!

10: A: So you're suggesting we should also store them in an egg? C: I-I-I I mean, I don't suppose any of us want to carry them the way others do, right? A: Like humans? C: Imagine fish… A: Ugh… I'd rather not. A: Do we even carry them? How-… Do they?… How would we even get there? I don't think others have done it before.

11: A: How are angels born? C: Why ask me? You're the angel! A: You were an archangel! You should know more than I do! C: I-I don't know! C: God sorta just created them! In adult form. Or at least in a permanent state. C: …You don't think-. They will just show up anytime? A: She said they'll be born as the fruit of our love… A: wait. A: If we are good and evil. Then they will be good and evil. But humans are good and evil. What if they will be human? They grow so fast!!

12: C: I go for a longer nap and they might be old or dead! [Even more alcohol later…] A: I can't help it, I'm an 'Ngel! I'm made out of love. I can only love you. Even if you can't- [Drunk vision begins] C: No. Angel,

13: C: I'm sorry if you ever thought that. If you ever held back because of me. Of fear I'd hurt you. C: I can't ask you to believe me, I only earned distrust for my fall. But I have loved you since the moment we first met. Even if I hate to admit it. There's no other being I want to protect more than you. If not me, the nature of the animal I've been cursed with, can be believed.

14: A: Crowley… You just said that you love me! C: I-… I did? Aziraphale, barely can be heard: Dear, you're shaking! Are you alright? Oh don't fear, it is mutual, rea…

[Crowley's brain has stopped working] 15: [Reality check starts, drunk vision ends] C: OFC I LOVE YOU, ANGEL! PLEASE! IT'S BEEN 6000 YEARS! hic WHAT DO YOU MEAN I GO TOO FAST FOR YOU?!! HUMANS NEED LIKE ONE YEAR. Why do you think I slept so much?! "Devil don't sleep", Angel! I-… [reciting of the last words, showing they really were said]

[Time was spent, and now it's morning] 16: A: Mhm… C: Nothing's too fast for you now, is it? A: You're never going to let that go, will you? C: That's basic standard~ C: Angel. Will you marry me? A: But we're already married? C: I want it to be your decision. When you want it. When you're ready. A: Crowley~ You're the nicest being that I ever known, [C: That's a problem] A: Of course, I will!

17: [much later, in Raphael's church, with Raphael's painting showing him holding a snake. Others have been invited too.] C and A: I do. [A: Now that I think about it, it's kind of obvious]

18: It has been ages since they were on earth. [ominous humming] In their celestial star-shape. A star smelter, in the sky. A new star was believed to have occoured. And a new star was born. (A demigod).

19: And soon, delivered to Earth. Vanishing from the night sky. An Angel's egg. [later, at their cottage house] A: Crowley~ [Crowley is shown in snake form, holding a marker, indicating he drew on the egg the shades]

The end!

Thank you for reading!

[discoballz8]

AH SO I MADE A GEN LOSS AU AN I WANT TO SHARE SO BAD

WARNING SPOILERS FOR ALL OF GEN LOSS//

So, how it goes,

After Ranboo got fuckin chomped by the box at the end of ep 3, they just kinda lived… it was so awkward making their way around. But, as a plus, no workers attacked them, no face means no recognition. Because i love art i made a design many ppl saw and liked:) i also really like it^^

Anyway, sneeg is super important to the au!! He is an ally of Ranboo, and i FUCKIN LOVE ANGST, so. ANGST OF SNEEG!! It’s kinda a fic lol, here it is:

Sneegsnag was streaming as usual, but he realised that he had no idea when he started streaming… Rising up to an elivated stance, he looked around. Panic flashed on the mans face and he looked back at the stream. “Uhh guys I’ve got to go. Like, NOW… Im going to leave the stream on, just chat like normal…” He stood and abandoned his chat, as they messaged the man in confusion. He found himself in an abandoned mall! Darting his head around, he saw a familiar jacket infront of him…

So im just gonna put this here and continue,

But the head was obscured? Knowing who it was he sprinted to them, and grabbed them. Spinning them around he yelled

Just leaving another thing bc its fun:

Slowly, Ranboo explained all they could. Sneeg shaked in horror, he had died? All he could muster was a quiet “Jesus Christ…”, to which Ranboo replied “Yea, its scary…” Before long the two decided to take the box of their head. An idea popped into Sneegs head. Blurting out in brilliance, “We could crowbar it off! I saw a weapon shop back there.” Ranboo agreed and the two went to the store. After 3 minutes of struggling, it was only half off. It had seemed to be glued or stuck to itself, or the hinges were stuck…

AHAHA ANOTHER ART SO YOU KNOW WHAR IM SAYING

Btw i did all these on paper, taking pictures after i did all the skin colouring lol//

“It only half worked…” Murmured the hero of the tale. Sneeg looked on the bright side, “At least you can see now! Before you couldn't.” And the two made their way out the shoo and tried to leave.

OK END OF STORY IM DONE LOL AHAH

So what do you think:)?

[steviesbicrisis]

Ok i loved your post about building Steve’s house in The Sims 4 because I had the same idea the other night and i found myself up at 2am waiting for all my packs to redownload.

I didn’t even try building his house because I got distracted BUT IM GONNA DO IT NOW

aaah thank you <3

TBH making that house was kind of a nightmare lmao there's so much space you don't know how to use it, the roofing is all over the place and when I was almost done with it, I realized the listing said that the master bedroom is downstairs (I had placed it on the first floor, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON) so I had to re-design half of the house accordingly :')

But I'm rooting for you!! have fun building it!! Also, if you wanna share once you're done I'm here, I love the sims 4 so much!! ahah

[hydrasquadd]

Sal Arc

--------------Part Six---------------

2020

Previous

Next

Masterpost

Discord

Ahah

Fantastic

!!Anyone just now finding these posts because of the Deltarune tags, please DNI if you use he/him for Kris!! Thank you :)

Guide to possibly confusing things

Did Sal die? Probably

Probably the shortest section ever

Welp

Lets go on a random rant with me

So

Would you like to hear another weird ass trying to figure out your a system story?

Some context (because I can't remember if I told you this or not): Since all this sudden weird stuff was happening to us, and Kris had it in their head that THEY where the only one who could be fronting, and had limited self awareness, they assumed that this was some weird possess that people go through.

Other people also suddenly "become" videogame characters just like they thought we did. So, only going of what they saw themself doing, Kris began to look for other people like them. People who where characters and dressed like their character (because Kris when they took over, completely changed the body's appearance to look like them).

So when Sal comes in, their kinda mad about it, because they assume that they (we) can only be ONe character at a time. As you know, Sal made it as far as he did because he insisted he didn't want control.

Context over, now to the story

It was around February 2020, and we where in a play. When we went to our first rehearsal, something stood out.

Before this, everything was going as planned. Sal staying out of the way, and Kris trying their best to look for people dressing like characters.

Here, in the play cast, was a kid who happened to look a lot like Larry (from Sally face).

Ok, so what's the big deal? I'll tell you

Because of what I explained earlier, about Kris always looking for people "like them" (that's all we knew), Sal happened to pick up on it. Just noticing how enamored Kris was with it and stuff, but not intending on doing anything about it himself (if he even could manage too).

So when this kid comes up, a kid who matched Kris's idea of someone being a character too, he kinda freaked out. I mean, if you assumed this could be a long lost fiend of yours, it makes sense.

So for the first time, Sal was trying to front. He was trying to get this person's attention. He was able to front a few times too. But Kris wasn't having it.

Unlike how it's illustrated in HSS, headspace barely existed back then, and Kris couldn't like, physically do much, so a lot of these fights in the comic that are like five pages, lasted months irl. It's always a slow fight for control over the body. One day Kris fronts, another their enemy.

So here it was weeks of back and forth. But this wasn't what caused the death of Sal. The nail in the coffin was actually:

Moving.

Since Sal had a reason now to be fronting (the kid), Kris had been trying to suppress him for the entirety of the play. Even after it ended, and we never saw that kid again. We where about to move cities. The thing about that, is we where building a house. So we had to get temporary housing to stay in before it was done. What was this housing? An apartment.

Kris's logic was, that Sal was acting up because he saw someone he knows. And they wanted to stop that. So when they discovered we where going into an apartment, all shit broke loose. You see, for most of the game Sally face, the setting is an apartment building. That's where Sal lived in his source. Kris knows this, and put together that if he was trying to take control because of the kid, he must want to be in control MORE if he gets to live where he once was.

Kris was not going to let Sal get "more powerful". So they just..

Ended it

So no, Sal didn't attack Kris for justice reasons, he did it because of some kid.

This is

Insanity

Welcome to being a system

[rocksandmirrors]

Betrayal and thunderstorm for the WIP asks 😉

(tagging @blackyote since you asked for a snippet of the betrayal one as well)

ok so long story short, i was thinking of how the work at the graveyard would end, and i thought Matt wouldn't be happy about it being over bc that'd mean losing an excuse to hang out with Gus, aka the only friend he had at the time. so he comes back during the week to do some minor damage to the place so they'd have an excuse to clean it up together, but one day things get a little out of hand (. .)' idrk why i called this one betrayal but it just stuck ahah

here's a snippet:

"Let me give you a hand," Mattholomule cackled at his own joke.

Although Augustus was in an execrable mood, and quite exhausted, he still giggled and let his friend do the rest, feeling his own cheeks heat up as he watched the other boy put the statue back into place. Once he was done, he dusted off his hands on his school uniform, then let out a sigh.

There wasn’t an awful lot of work to do (especially not compared to the state this place used to be), but if people had such easy access to it, they needed to reinforce the security first and foremost. No one was going to get their hands on the Galdorstones, and Augustus was willing to keep this promise until his very last breath!

“I wonder if Bria is doing all this,” Augustus mumbled, tapping his chin. “Maybe she’s trying to mess with us?”

“Or maybe you’re worrying about it too much.” The other boy kicked into a rock that disappeared in the distance. “Let’s just put some more traps around and call it a day.”

and as for Thunderstorm, it's actually a danganronpa fic :D idk if you're really interested in that, but it's some classic character A being afraid of thunderstorms and getting comforted by characters B and C (nothing shippy about it tho)

[jihopesjoint]

ok i mainlined all three parts that are out probably slower than i am capable of bc the iron deficiency stole my concentration and ability to stay awake but anyway. hey. AHAH. holy fuck i’m not even sure where to begin? i’ll go under a cut now

we should probably keep in mind that i truly am a local as far as skz goes. and idk one thing about fanfiction is that i feel like it’s easier to evoke emotion because it uses characters that we’re already attached to as readers. but i didn’t have that here and i was still depressed 😌 AND ANXIOUS OH WHEN THEY WENT TO TRY TO DESTABILIZE THE FUCKING BLISS BETA. RIPPING HAIR OUT I TELL YOU also why did you have to make my love wooyoung a victim of the human trials i don’t care what people think he’s done he’s innocent your honor on account of he’s so fucking cute okay this is so irrelevant i’m sorry continuing

i keep saying this but the only thing wattpad has going for it is being able to leave comments on every single paragraph of a posted work because there are so many instances where the way you simply phrased a sentence made me wanna put my fist through the wall??? but god dammit i’m just so lazy i can’t make myself compile them all and comment on them at the end. i have one half-assed example and it’s something something turnover something something turn is over JUST!!!!! CLEVER. WITTY. GENIUS. AND THIS HAPPENED SO MANY TIMES

also i think just the concept in general is so cool and unique. taking one storyline and separating the events between 4 different members is really fun as a reader. and in a story as complex as this, i think it makes sense that there’s multiple main players rather than one person (or one couple) being at the center of everything

circling back to the complexity: jesus fucking christ dude. i told you already that this is original fiction and can be published. i mean who are these mfs to me anyway? but i am invested. you effectively built a world, AND it was easy to follow. AND it made sense. i did not question your lore and i was not confused by it. and like. it’s cyberpunk. science fiction. it’s SO MADE UP AND YOU MADE IT UP. JUST!!!! i hope your writing this is giving you the confidence boost you deserve about your abilities because this was a huge undertaking of a series and you are executing it BEAUTIFULLY. i am endlessly impressed by you

okay i’m not sure i even said everything i wanted to say but i’m fading bro i’m so sleepy and if i don’t post this now i never will.

good job. i love you. see you later

FORCE QUIT | MASTERLIST

“And we’re going to burn it all down.” He hits you with a devilish grin, drops his voice low in a way that makes you shiver involuntarily. “The corpo-rats, the lies they sell — all of it.”

pairing: skz x afab!reader — varies per episode summary: it's 2077, and life's a fucking nightmare. corporate titans ate the state and shat it back out, leaving citizens of the new republic to fall in line, or fall to their knees. a reckoning is coming — where will you fall? series au: dystopian, cyberpunk ➢ insp. by: cyberpunk 2077 + the true lives of the fabulous killjoys series genre: smut + angst, primarily. series word count: 50-60k (estimated) rating: 18+ — minors do not have my consent to interact. estimated drop: november/december 2023 (subject to change) series warnings: it's a capitalist hellscape.... lol, civil disobedience, acts of violence (hand-to-hand, firearms, explosives), depictions of injuries (blood, bruising, etc.) but nothing grotesque, some characters have cybernetic modifications, class conflict + discussions of poverty, surprise - corporations are bad!, references to unethical medical/tech experimentation, reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns, see episodes (when posted) for specific CWs. ➢ important notes (incl. taglist) + episode descriptions are below the cut.

important notes:

➢ each episode features a different member x reader pairing, but the plot is linear, so you'd need to read them (in order) to get the full picture! ➢ each episode's reader has a nickname, which is 1) also the episode title, 2) how other characters (and i as a writer) refer to them across the series. ➢ you can sign up for the taglist to be notified of uploads. you must sign up through this link to be tagged; i won't be pulling people from comments, DMs, etc. because that's too hard to keep track of, lol. i'm checking every blog that signs up to make sure that everyone is 18+.

episode i: scraps — released 11/6/23

pairing: trainer!felix x edgerunner!reader au: childhood friends to strangers to something summary: you didn't have "anti-capitalist revolution" on this year's bingo card, but you never turn down a good time. wc: 15.4k

episode ii: the professor — released 12/3/23.

pairing: recon!hyunjin x defector!reader au: secret relationship summary: until now, hyunjin's never met a problem that subterfuge and violence couldn't solve. wc: 10.6k

episode iii: spider — released 3/9/24.

pairing: combat leader!minho x hacker!reader au: fuck buddies to lovers summary: somebody has to make sure you make it through the firefight alive. wc: 23.5k

episode iv: doc — release date tbd.

pairing: leader!chan x medic!reader au: established relationship, hurt/comfort summary: when the world ends, who's going to hold your hand?

[the-firebird69]

Mission to Mars (2000) - Trailer

and this is it i am coming home ok i said home but it is one of the stages.  and i am here. they  said i could announce it. thought i was nuts sleeping and seleping.  and now he says it better gravity healthier and better facilities.  and i know. i do this and they had it done.  years ago  i am safe ok love.

Hera

my best to you i love you and i am happy for you. as always i am working to make you safe.  how is the gravity

Zues

it is pretty good houston lol ok ahah not an insult a bit of one ok you jerk.

Hera

sure its lonely but tons did it. for years.  and braved it and you hear it ok

Zues

i do hear they sing and to us ad say it duty. and i love it i am prepared feel better and shall daily.  i am ok bones good health good less radiatin was mild. now i hear it the gravity is good.  and i see ok.  now we work i sleep now ok tank you Zues i love you too 

Hera

i do miss you so.  sometime soon. they will war and on the surface is large and a solid place now. your home in part. Zig Zag territory and my Father and Mother apollo and Goddess Wife and their conterparts your russian family said hello and from all the way to here mb

Zues 

good im ins pace your not no im on a planet and lets get that straight.  and he says roger tht and ok ahah i love him protect him all

Hera

we protect you ad you are there. as planned. 

Olympus

we all shall

Nuada Arrianna

it has worked we say it we love you Hera welcome to partil home

Lobo and Proxima Midnight

i felt like the sunday looking girl.  now not so i feel better. good

Hera

damnit it iss me crissy this sucks see it.  wow and i look soewhat hot good.  tons say it abit alien but his mesate no fought to see but after oh us lol hahahah losers

now you are out you diitos fooled by the empire and others whith power o i see not out

crissy

have a nice nap Hera we catch up at 20:30 hour or so an ok ahhah i see it we see lol you too have a nice shower and behind the ears lol ok you .  yeh me inspace need the special suit hahahah not tying to my supply hold your breath lol

Hera

exhalust it ok and that is coing he told her she wont worry we inform her why and what it is

Thor Freya

we love you again our Empress and we do the ceremoney and soon

Olympus show you things too 

and oh good ok

Hera an cameras all over good

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning/day/evening, lovie! ig ive just burst (into tears) from the amount of love i felt to this gif. 'when its day FOR YOU' its 2:19 and ive had some drinks w/friends. yeah, we have fem, masc and neuter gender words. and it usually depends on the nouns gender its paired with. and the nouns gender depends on logic (like a girl is fem while in german girl is neuter) or just feelings nothing (night is fem). 'i typed my love actually so thats on google translate' 1)i figured you typed my love bc youd used it already 2) we say google translate sucks 3) musc is the main form of an adjective on its own so no wonder its translated like this. 'but theres no rap here?' idk TT i just love this speaking(?) part, we call it recitative but im not sure. theres one song that describes my taste in the best way possible. milyy (darling/honey). it has no eng subs (all the translations ive found are ugly) and it doesnt matter, just listen to the way it sounds and the music. i have no idea why theres a child in the vid bc?? ok the chorus literally sounds like 'Guess what ive been doing when you werent here? I was meeting my ex-lover. He promised me to show his new apartment And to try out his windowsills. And i put on my red gloves Despite him begging for stockings. Do you know, honey? (x2) Do yk what ive been doing while you were gone?' it doesnt really imply sex BUT it does have mentions of alcohol and the whole vibe isnt childish at all... but ok i love the song. 'you’ve made me like her again' a fanfact! i have such halseys last album (where those songs are from) vibes from all hotd fics. maybe all this royal aesthetic affects me like this. 'which is what her name is an anagram of' OMG fhsjd i never thought abt it! ig its not really a problem you couldnt read it as halsey. if it doesnt bother you too much, then its fine. your writings are still good shjs. and youre still big brained. 'thank you for reviving my interest in halsey' my pleasure<з you can take all the time universe gives us! yeah i put notifs but the main point is i dont have notifs in general HFJFKDH the sound is ALWAYS off so... my mom gets mad at me frequently and noone can contact me whenever they want. 'AND I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH' IM SO GLAD. its so beautifel and also meaningful like the cartoon itself! i used to love su sm TT 'my child' meow meow, catmom. 'dont be so ok with it' well mindset ig. 'i cant even read the russian symbols' AHAHS IM SORRY i forgot to type a latinised version. its zapekanka. k is k its a simple one. and a is a. and з is z, i usually use it for <з. and yeah!! youre so right with p! what a big brain! 'she’s literally just a plot device without too much depth used for nada' oh its sad( actually its like 90% of russian classic literature and thats why i usually end up hating fem characters. or theyre just too... sweet and naive and all. i dislike all people with this type of character and its not my fault its 8/10 times women (in lit). i love characters that are interesting to me and it doesnt depend on the gender. ig im frequently seen as a sexist/homophobic just bc im judgemental... yeah not the best trait but i dont choose whos the one im going to hate based on THESE facts. yeah your face can annoy me, your voice can sound too pitchy for my liking or i just dont like your vibes BUT not bc youre a woman/man/gay or smth else. and MORE SO when you have a reason to dont like a person? it doesnt matter whos it. 'WHYYYYY>?' well i dont know ANY of them closely and im still judgemental. 'YOU GOT A MR WORLDWIFE TOO' YEah! pushkin is some kind of a literature hero here? well hes done a lot of things for it and the language and hes been a brilliant writer (hes called genius in schools). but he was SUCH a worldwife. hes written that he had more than 100 women. but he did have a wife closer to the end of his life. he also had a footfetish and put it in his most famous novel.. 'you keep saying cunning spain' well i like this image. meowmeow im glad you find it cute meowmeow. ig its all for the part 1 bc its already long. see you soon, my love<з

this is how my cat greats me sometimes T_T i miss my jinjin T_T MEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW T_T

ig ive just burst (into tears) from the amount of love i felt to this gif.

<3 <3 <3 thats great. idk if ive told you already, i feel like i have, but my teacher says its good to cry 2 a week to flush out the dirt from your eyes. on another note, i was chopping onions for my grandma this morning and i CRIED SO BAD IT HURT LASFHLKASHFKLHASFASH

'when its day FOR YOU' its 2:19 and ive had some drinks w/friends.

you went drinking!!!???? omg i hope you were responsible with it. i only recently tried drinking when it was my best friend's birthday. i want to try it again because being drunk is so fascinating but also i cant do that because T_T i would die on my way home

yeah, we have fem, masc and neuter gender words. and it usually depends on the nouns gender its paired with. and the nouns gender depends on logic (like a girl is fem while in german girl is neuter) or just feelings nothing (night is fem).

in german girl is neuter ???? ok then. i dont understand enough about fem/masc words cos filipino is neutral everything we just have siya which is he/she/it everything lolol HAHAHAHAHAH

'i typed my love actually so thats on google translate' 1)i figured you typed my love bc youd used it already 2) we say google translate sucks 3) musc is the main form of an adjective on its own so no wonder its translated like this.

#1 big brained for that #2 she trying google on her last brain cell T_T #3 makes sense. boo men 👎

'but theres no rap here?' idk TT i just love this speaking(?) part, we call it recitative but im not sure.

i see. thats nice to know. i figured that with all the music you sent me. i personally dont like it. i guess you like spoken poetry with background.

theres one song that describes my taste in the best way possible. milyy (darling/honey). it has no eng subs (all the translations ive found are ugly)

HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHA I FELT THE UGLY TRANSLATIONS HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA i love the kitties and the cutie bb girl <3 if i had to guess what i means based on the song and the video, is it about wanting to growing up and like expectations as an adult? like 'i cant wait to be an adult' but also be careful what you ask for?

and it doesnt matter, just listen to the way it sounds and the music. i have no idea why theres a child in the vid bc?? ok the chorus literally sounds like 'Guess what ive been doing when you werent here? I was meeting my ex-lover. He promised me to show his new apartment And to try out his windowsills. And i put on my red gloves Despite him begging for stockings. Do you know, honey? (x2) Do yk what ive been doing while you were gone?' it doesnt really imply sex BUT it does have mentions of alcohol and the whole vibe isnt childish at all... but ok i love the song.

[jaw on the floor] my gosh boy was i wrong T_T WTF WHY IS THERE A CHILD HERE HELP T_T WHEN I TELL YOU MY JAW DROPPED AFTER READING THIS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SUCH A BIG BRAIN MOMENT FOR ME IM SO 💀💀💀💀

'you’ve made me like her again' a fanfact! i have such halseys last album (where those songs are from) vibes from all hotd fics. maybe all this royal aesthetic affects me like this.

interesting to know. i mean i think each of our experience affect us as a person so it goes both ways.

'which is what her name is an anagram of' OMG fhsjd i never thought abt it! ig its not really a problem you couldnt read it as halsey. if it doesnt bother you too much, then its fine. your writings are still good shjs. and youre still big brained. 'thank you for reviving my interest in halsey' my pleasure<з

nah it bothered me so much my brain was so frustrated i hated seeing her and her name because i kept reading it wrong. i read her as hasley in my head for a long time even though i knew it was wrong then i only shut up my brain by reading at loud and suddenly the world was silent again lashflashflasf and i wasn't bothered by her name anymore

this was the era of halsey that i could not pronounce HAHHAH

you can take all the time universe gives us! yeah i put notifs but the main point is i dont have notifs in general HFJFKDH the sound is ALWAYS off so... my mom gets mad at me frequently and noone can contact me whenever they want.

thank you i need all the time in the world cos school T_T. also ur so me fr tbh i personally dont care about notifs even though its on i just ignore everyone T_T HAHAHHA

'AND I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH' IM SO GLAD. its so beautifel and also meaningful like the cartoon itself! i used to love su sm TT

ive heard it on tiktok before and i wondered where it was from so thank you for that <3 i love the cartoon too but i never got to watch it play out, you know, like on tv theyd play the episodes out of order and i just ??? yeah i never even learned about stevens mom whats up with her

'my child' meow meow, catmom.

<3

'dont be so ok with it' well mindset ig.

DONT BE SO OK WITH IT

'i cant even read the russian symbols' AHAHS IM SORRY i forgot to type a latinised version. its zapekanka.

slay zapekanka

k is k its a simple one.

IT IS WOW I THOUGHT IT WASNT MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE actually idk when i started telling myself it wasnt a k lol HAHAH

and a is a. and з is z, i usually use it for <з. and yeah!! youre so right with p! what a big brain!

purr thank you for the brief lesson <3

'she’s literally just a plot device without too much depth used for nada' oh its sad( actually its like 90% of russian classic literature and thats why i usually end up hating fem characters. or theyre just too... sweet and naive and all. i dislike all people with this type of character and its not my fault its 8/10 times women (in lit).

SAME I HATE IT WHEN WOMEN ARE STUPID LIKE SIR HAVE YOU MET A WOMAN? AND HAVE YOU MET A man (derogatory) russian literature L for that 😞🍅thats why i like making my fem characters chew their male interests. feminism.

i love characters that are interesting to me and it doesnt depend on the gender. ig im frequently seen as a sexist/homophobic just bc im judgemental... yeah not the best trait but i dont choose whos the one im going to hate based on THESE facts.

T_T i think ur just judgy T_T your ire has no boundaries T_T HELP T_T you should maybe work on that ? but i totally get not liking weak characters

yeah your face can annoy me, your voice can sound too pitchy for my liking or i just dont like your vibes BUT not bc youre a woman/man/gay or smth else. and MORE SO when you have a reason to dont like a person? it doesnt matter whos it.

T_T 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀like i said, your ire knows no bounds

'WHYYYYY>?' well i dont know ANY of them closely and im still judgemental.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HELP T_T

'YOU GOT A MR WORLDWIFE TOO' YEah! pushkin is some kind of a literature hero here? well hes done a lot of things for it and the language and hes been a brilliant writer (hes called genius in schools). but he was SUCH a worldwife. hes written that he had more than 100 women. but he did have a wife closer to the end of his life. he also had a footfetish and put it in his most famous novel..

HE HAD A WHAT NOW actually i dont want to know more about his footfetish, you do you boo. BUT OMG he like rizal for real, although yeah he didnt get married he just 💀 then never had a wife cos he just 👻 but idk if his lovers reached 100 💀💀💀💀💀💀

'you keep saying cunning spain' well i like this image. meowmeow im glad you find it cute meowmeow.

T_T MEOW MEOW

ig its all for the part 1 bc its already long. see you soon, my love<з

YEs yes p2 <3

xxx

[thanks--for--listening]

permanence

accidentally got obsessed with six and this is what happened lol and tbh do i really even like this anymore? no but u know what i wrote it so i might as well put it on here, the internet, forever lol. also on ao3. 

~~

It looked different on all of them. The nightmares. Thin walls and enough trauma to last multiple lifetimes meant that Cath had seen it all, from the dreamless to the sleepless nights and every shade in between. She was no Aragon, with her sturdy arms and unfailing strength, no Jane, offering the physical comfort that only a mother’s arms could provide, no Anne, cracking jokes until tears turned into laughter and smiles crept up like the sun on the horizon. She didn’t have Anna’s everlasting patience or Katherine’s gentle kindness, but she knew her role nonetheless: she was the observer. She watched, took notes, prepared for the worst and saw it come, and then waited for it to happen again. Because it always, always happened again. 

—

Aragon’s, like most of the others, started with a whimper. 

The noise was uncanny coming from her. The persona she’d crafted for the stage wasn’t far off from her own nature. Her strength made her seem untouchable; it was easy to forget the history behind her words, the human beneath her crown. 

She didn’t scream, not really. When it got bad, it was all in her body, in the way she fought her covers and lost her breath. They’d had to move everything off the top of her nightstand after the first time, when she’d shattered a lamp without waking up. If it lasted long enough, she spoke, the words only sometimes coherent, and they weren’t always the same but Cath has been keeping track of the most frequent phrases: no, come back, don’t leave me, can’t breathe, help. 

They only made sense after Aragon told them what she saw. Once she woke up, once someone broke through her mind’s blockades, once she stopped panting and wiped away the sweat and stray tears dripping down her face, she almost always talked to them. She spared few details in her storytelling. She spoke as if giving voice to the images in her head made them less real, as if it was only when they were said aloud that she could recognize their lack of power. 

Aragon never saw things as they were, not really; she dreamed in metaphors. She saw herself trapped in a box, drowning in the ocean, stranded in space. The scenarios were different, but in all of them, she watched as someone in the distance — a man she couldn’t see clearly enough to recognize — passed her by, left her to die alone. He was either too far away to hear her or didn’t care enough to turn back, and Aragon always said she didn’t know which it was, but Cath knew. She kept the secret to herself, let her believe in ignorance and innocence and kept her theories about the faceless man hidden in the pages of her notebook. 

With Aragon, every night was almost always the same. Jane went first, let her rest her head on her shoulder and helped her catch her breath. Then it was Anna, her voice cool but her eyes soft, giving the invitation to talk about it without ever letting pity into her words. They’d learned quickly that Aragon refused to be pitied, that the worst thing they could do was let sympathy creep into their eyes. The rest of them listened, and when enough time had passed, when the dream had both been materialized and vaporized, it was Anne, with her wit and her wicked smile, who said whatever she could to get a laugh or a groan out of the rest of them. Cath initially thought it was a little ironic that she was the one who signaled the change, but her ability to endearingly and harmlessly annoy, especially when it came to Aragon, made her invaluable. Their history didn’t matter — it had to be her. 

When they made their way back to their own rooms, the conversation never lasting long enough for anyone to stay up and get a start to their day, Cath lingered, watched the way Aragon took a deep breath and restabilized herself in the real world. Sometimes it took a few, but Cath knew to wait for the right exhale, the one that made her look like herself again. Only then did she close the door behind her.

—

Anne’s shouldn’t have caught her by surprise, yet Cath honestly didn’t expect to see her clawing at her neck the first time they barreled into her room. 

Maybe it was because she was usually so casual about her own beheading. She had her moments, and there was definitely a line that the rest of them couldn’t cross, but she talked about it as if it was nothing more than an annoyance. She constantly joked about it, both on and off stage. She talked about her death more than any of the others and with such indifference that it had taken Cath longer than it should have to understand that the humor was masking the fear, not replacing it. 

At her worst, Anne screamed as she woke up; the girls didn’t usually let it get that far, not anymore. More often than not, Aragon was the one who heard the cries that preceded it, who banged on the rest of the doors and beat the others to her bedside. The doors had become their unspoken ritual, born from the desperation of the first times, when the memories were fresh, their connection still forming, and the nightmares a mystery. No one had known what to expect, what to do, and it had been easier to deal with each one of them together. The tradition had never broken, not for the worst nights.

And for Anne, tradition started with Aragon. Always and without fail. Cath knew it was no coincidence. She’d taken note about a month and a half into their rebirth, when she’d realized that Aragon had rearranged her furniture so their beds shared a wall, so she’d hear the warning signs and step in before it was too late. She also knew why she’d done it, why it was so important to wake her up before the dream could. 

Anne saw the past as if she’d never left it. She’d told the story after one of the first times, and didn’t need to confirm anymore that every time after was exactly the same. She was brought to a tower, led through unfamiliar halls and sent down what felt like hundreds of stairs, went lower and lower until even the sun itself couldn’t find her. They threw her behind bars, and she didn’t know how long she waited for them to come back. Hunger and fear gnawed at her stomach, went to war to see who was stronger, and neither were ever tamed. 

She remembered feeling blinded by the light when they finally dragged her back outside, so much so that she didn’t see the set up until she was pushed onto her knees, forced to beg in front of the crowd that was eagerly awaiting her execution. Her voice shook when she told the girls about the boos, the jeers, the glee on their faces when Henry gave the final order. Cath had written down that it was this moment, more than any other, that made Anne hesitate the most in her retelling: the realization that so many strangers truly wanted her dead, and that she could never do anything to change their minds. Cath wondered if maybe that’s what she was really afraid of: not dying, but being utterly and completely powerless.

If none of them got to her in time, she saw it all the way through the end. She was led to the block, had her head forcibly guided to its mark, and as she’d told the story she’d started crying again, although technically, Cath noted, she’d never truly stopped. She described looking out into the crowd, knowing their spiteful faces would be the last thing she’d see. She said she remembered trying to look up, to find the sun, to let it steal her sight one more time, but before she could she heard the blade cut through the air above her, and then...

Her shouts always fell in time with her own decapitation, her eyes shooting open as fire shot through every nerve in her body. She’d told them that she hadn’t felt the cut, not really, but her mind filled in the blanks, and she could barely find the words to describe the sensation. Only Katherine nodded in understanding when she tried. 

If Aragon woke her up, if they got to her early enough, she could shake the memories off almost entirely on her own. If they didn’t, if she saw too much of her own life, her own death, she needed to be held, needed the weight of someone’s embrace to anchor her back to the present. Anne wasn’t picky — she’d fall into whoever’s arms opened up first — but Cath knew it was Aragon’s who gave her the most comfort; anyone else taking over that job was a rare exception. It was easy for Cath to forget that Aragon had also been a mother, although when she held her, when Anne squeezed her back and buried her face in her shoulder, it was painfully obvious that those arms were strong enough to carry a whole life. 

The rest of them usually piled onto the bed next to her. Anne often disregarded the concept of personal space, and Cath would be the first to admit that the constant energy and attention could get tiresome on a normal day, but on these nights everyone indulged her. It wasn’t about them or what they wanted: it was about Anne. And if she needed to feel her friends around her, then that’s exactly what she’d get.

Like Aragon, it usually didn’t take too long before Anne could breathe again, before the tears dried up and her body stopped shaking. On the really bad nights, Katherine didn’t leave with the rest of them. Cath didn’t know what they did, if they talked about anything or just sat with the knowledge that for both of them, death sounded exactly the same. Either way, they both slept well into the afternoon, and whenever they could, the other girls let them.

— 

Jane was the last person she started taking notes for. With the others, the nightmares came quickly. At the start, each dream seemed to be the worst kind, and they were nearly impossible to hide. But after their first month or so together, when Cath had notes and tallies for everyone in the house, her pages reserved for Jane were completely blank. Naively, or perhaps selfishly, she’d led herself to believe that the logical conclusion was that Jane simply didn’t have nightmares. That her death had been tragic but perhaps her life hadn’t, hadn’t been great but had been good enough to avoid the fate of the rest of them.

She found out the hard way that she’d been sorely mistaken. 

It wasn’t that Jane didn’t have nightmares — it was that when she did, she stayed completely silent. They’d only discovered it by accident, and for all her claims of being the observer in the group, it wasn’t even Cath who noticed. It was Katherine, on a sunny afternoon, looking up at where Jane had dozed off on the couch and pointing out the tears streaming down her cheeks. 

The others had circled around her almost instantly. They all stared at her, each person at a loss for words, and Cath didn’t know if it spoke to their character or to Jane’s that not a single person knew what to do, how to help the helper. 

It was Cath who finally reached over, gently shook her until her eyes snapped open and she gasped, and even something as simple and reactionary as that was done in near silence. Cath didn’t want to think about what had made her learn that skill. 

That first time she’d refused to talk about it. None of them pushed too hard, but they’d all made assumptions about what had led to the tears. Instead, they sat around the couch, started conversations about nothing just to fill the silence. Katherine had sat down next to her, and Cath watched as Jane began to gently braid her hair, wondered who got more comfort out of the simple movement. The other three carried the brunt of the conversation. Cath almost felt guilty about her lack of contribution, but the others had quickly perfected the art of the meaningless debate, and it was easier to just let them go at it than to try and add anything. Plus, watching gave her the head space to make mental notes that she’d later write down: for Jane, it seemed as if she needed to be distracted, to let her mind wander but not too far, to feel surrounded by others but not the center of attention. 

When night finally came, when the others had gone to their own rooms, Cath hung back. She asked her, softly, how often it happened. Her nonanswer spoke loud enough. She told her that when it happened again (not if, when, always when), she should wake someone, give some sort of sign so they could be there for her, in whatever way she needed them, and she’d expected pushback but Jane had simply nodded.

They decided on a song, a lullaby, one that would only be played on the nights when it was bad, when she needed someone to remind her that she wasn’t alone anymore. Part of Cath wondered if she’d chosen the song with the hopes that it would go unnoticed, that it would keep the rest of them asleep instead of bringing them to her room. But if they’d learned anything from their shared experience, it was how to sleep lightly. So when the song played, they came. And it was weeks later, on one of the lullaby nights, that she told them what she saw. 

She always started in the same place. Opening her eyes to find herself in a maze, huge green hedged walls towering around her. She couldn’t climb over them, couldn’t walk through them, could only go where the path cleared for her. 

She heard the baby first. Some things changed— the maze didn’t always look or move the same— but not this. Coming from somewhere in front of her was the cries of a newborn, the sound she’d heard just briefly once before. She started moving forward, going through the twists and turns as fast as she could, but the sound never got any louder, the child never any closer. Still, she didn’t stop, not until she heard him behind her. 

When Henry called out to her, he didn’t sound angry. Not at first. She’d seen his temper in action, had known his fuse was short, but it had never been directed toward her, not the way it had with the others. And when he said her name, when he told her he loved her, she believed him. For a moment the crying disappeared, and all she heard was him, beckoning her back home. She refused to look at anyone when she described that part; Cath didn’t need to take notes to figure out why.

When she turned around, when she started to step toward him, he got quieter. He called out to her less and less, and the sweetness of his voice soured with every inch she erased between them. She didn’t understand why until she heard the crying again. The farther away she walked from the baby, the louder it got, the more distressed it sounded, but when she turned around, when she walked toward it, Henry‘s voice grew. The farther away from him she got, the more he demanded she come back home, and the crying only got louder, and she told them that even in the dream she knew it was a trap, but she didn’t know how to get out. 

It was usually then, while she stood in the middle, trapped in a crossroad with two wrong directions, that the walls began to change. The green hedges solidified, turned to stone around her. The walls grew higher, wider, and her path got thinner, her turns disappearing. She told them how she ran, not toward Henry or the child but simply in whatever direction she could, but it was useless. She couldn’t save them, and she couldn’t save herself. And it was only then, when she gave in to her fate, when she stopped running, that she woke up. 

If she were a braver person, Cath knew she would have apologized to Jane as soon as she heard her story, because she had secretly envied her time with Henry. She’d thought about how lucky the other woman had been, to die before he could tire of her. She’d thought that her death, so natural in its cause, meant that she hadn’t suffered. That if she hadn’t seen the worst in him, she must not have seen any bad at all. She knew she should be the one to say it, too, with her own survival often feeling like proof that she hadn’t suffered anything near the fate of the others. She knew she should say that she understood now, that he may have thought he loved her but true love didn’t rely on contingencies, and spending everyday waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop wasn’t peace, but she didn’t. She put all her words, all her thoughts and feelings, onto the page, where she could control it. Where it would be safe. And she made sure to always keep her door open a crack at night, in case she needed to hear the familiar melody. 

—

Like Jane, Anna wasn’t woken up by the others. Cath didn’t know what she looked like when she dreamt, how she reacted immediately after. She had a suspicion that her silence and Jane’s didn’t come from the same place. Jane’s seemed to be borne out of necessity and survival, and Anna’s...Anna’s was different. Cath didn’t understand it exactly, had notes and theories but no real answers as to why she woke up quietly. All she knew was that it wasn’t screams or cries that let them know she’d suffered at the hands of her own subconscious — it was the sound of the tv, volume just loud enough to echo across the house. 

It had been Cath who put it together the first time. They’d woken up to the sound of old commercials for products no one truly needed, had stared at each other in confusion as they made their way down the stairs to find Anna on the couch, eyes glued to the tv and glassy with dissociation. Cath could see the question in everyone’s mind, the one they’d never give a voice to: what could she, with her palace and throne, have possibly seen that would wake her up like this, keep her up all night? 

The rest of them just sat down next to her and watched for a few minutes, no one quite knowing what to do, and it was Cath who realized what was missing, Cath who had to take on Anna’s role. She asked her if she wanted to talk about it, and she had to repeat herself four times before she got any sort of response. Even then, it was just a quick shake of the head. 

Every time it happened, they found her in the same spot, in the same state. They each had their place: Katherine and Cath on the couch with her, the others on the ground in front of them. They watched whatever was on, and Cath didn’t know if it was intentional that the channel Anna turned to was usually the infomercial one, the one that only came on when no one was supposed to be watching and offered nothing in the form of entertainment. It didn’t matter. Nobody changed it and nobody spoke, not until the sun came up. 

The first time, everyone stayed up all night. They’d all been on edge, not knowing what to expect, but Anna hadn’t moved. When Jane finally went to make breakfast, it was like a switch went off, and suddenly the Anna they knew and loved was back, acting as if nothing had happened. 

Sometimes Anna fell back asleep, but not always. Same with the others. They all had nights where they dozed off, head bent in a way that was sure to leave them stiff in the morning. The only constant was Katherine, who almost always fell asleep with her head against Anna’s side. It was another reason Anna’s stood out from the rest: no one ever went back to their room once she turned on the TV, but they also didn’t stay awake all night, either. 

Cath didn’t hear about the dreams for a while, not until it was only her and Anna who were still awake. Anna didn’t move, wouldn’t look at her, wouldn’t take her eyes off the screen. Cath hadn’t asked, even though she’d wanted to: Anna just started talking, her voice barely over a whisper. 

She told her that when she closed her eyes, she woke up back in the palace. Her palace. It was exactly as she remembered. The only thing that had changed was her. She looked the same, was in the same place, but she remembered everything about now, about their resurrection. She knew the past, present, future, the truths behind names she’d only heard in passing. She knew the horrors that Henry had put others through, and she knew that behind these walls, she was safe. 

Except she didn’t feel safe. Not anymore. She’d spent years alone and had loved it, had lived a life so many would kill for, but all she noticed now was how quiet it was. She looked around at her own belongings and all she saw were relics of a time no one wanted to go back to, least of all her. She looked at her home and felt nothing.

Anna hadn’t taken her eyes off the TV as she’d spoken, but Cath saw how she started slowly rubbing Katherine’s arm. Anna told her that in her dreams, she knew what was happening, who was next, but every time she tried to leave the doors wouldn’t open. Cath knew, then, that no matter what kind of freedom Anna might have had back then, it still wasn’t agency. It wasn’t enough. She wondered if the doors in her dream were a blessing, if they prevented her from trying to stop something she couldn’t, from witnessing something she couldn’t unsee. 

When she watched the others, when they told the group about their nights, Cath usually didn’t ask too many questions. She knew her nature, knew she had a habit of always wanting to learn more, and she’d discovered quickly that most people preferred to know less. But she hadn’t talked to anyone like this, where it was just them, separate from the rest, and for some reason that made it harder to stop herself. She had to know: why the TV? What purpose did it serve? How did it help? 

For minutes, Anna didn’t answer. Cath usually considered herself to be a patient woman, but this silence was agony. Part of her longed to take them back but she knew it was too late, knew that even like this Anna wouldn’t take the cop out, was too stubborn and proud to let it go. It was a trait that Cath usually admired about her; now, she wondered if it would have been easier on both of them if she’d just dismiss her and her questions, tell her to keep her mouth shut. 

But she didn’t ignore it, didn’t tell Cath to fuck off. She answered. She told her that when she’d first woken up, she wasn’t convinced that she was back, even as she stared at her phone and her room and their house. Her mind could have made up lamps or cell phones or even her living with the other wives, but not the TV. Not the weird shit she found people tried to sell in the middle of the night, things like covers for your deck or pans that won’t break if you slam them across the countertop. It was so absurd, so ridiculously modern. Her subconscious wasn’t that creative. And there was something almost calming, she told her, about the way they spoke. It was like their useless chatter could fill every empty space in her mind and leave no room for images she didn’t want to see anymore.

When she finished talking, neither of them moved, not until Katherine shifted next to her. Both of them held their breaths until she stopped. Cath stared at her, and there were so many words resting on the tip of her tongue that she didn’t know how they didn’t all come spilling out at once. She wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault. That she couldn’t have stopped it. That even if she’d never pissed him off, even if she’d lasted longer, he would have tired of her no matter what she did. And at that point in time, Cath didn’t think there was a person alive who could have saved Katherine from the men who would play with her life like it was something they owned and then throw it away as if it was never worth anything at all. 

But she didn’t. She didn’t say anything. They both just sat there, turning their eyes back toward the screen, trying desperately to think about nothing at all.

—

As time passed, as they began to differentiate between the bad and the worst, Cath watched, listened, and learned. She discovered that Jane didn’t need all of them in her room every time. For Anne, if they got to her before the blade did, sometimes Aragon and Katherine were enough. Aragon often sought out who she needed if she woke up silently, and it wasn’t uncommon to find her walking out of someone else’s room in the morning instead of her own. 

But Katherine wasn’t like the rest of them.

She still didn’t know why Anna had come to her the first time. She’d woken up to banging on her door, the sound loud and heavy and desperate. By the time she opened her eyes, she was standing over her, and Cath had to swallow back the string of swear words she almost let out when she saw the sheer panic on her face. It’s Katherine, she’d told her, I can’t wake her up. They ran — Anna, back to Katherine’s room, and Cath to wake the others. Later, when she started her notes, she’d questioned what it said about their newly forming group that everyone had woken up instantly, even when the only explanation she’d given them was Katherine’s name. She couldn’t quite decide if it was a testament of their care for one another or of their collective trauma. She found that she didn’t really want to know.

The panic was palpable, not just in Katherine but in the rest of them as well. Cath didn’t know what about this, what about her, made them all so on edge, made her feel like she wanted to close her eyes and run away, become the coward she knew herself to be. Maybe it was the way Katherine thrashed against her covers, each movement a textbook image of desperation. Maybe it was the tears that were streaming down her cheeks, not gentle like Jane’s but fast and uncontrollable like Anne’s. Or maybe it was the way they could all see the terror on her face, obvious even with her eyes squeezed shut. 

Cath had felt as if she was frozen in a moment she didn’t want to see, forced to bare witness to everyone’s pain, and she knew that came with the job, knew that she signed up for it the minute she’d started keeping notes on the others, but now...she didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to see it. She didn’t want to know what she knew anymore.

But the world had never cared about what she wanted, had it?

Anne snapped first. Why haven’t you woken her up? She’d yelled, nearly running up to the bed. Anna tried to stop her but Anne was stronger than she looked, shoved her away and tried to put a hand on Katherine’s shoulder and—

Cath had pages and pages of notes dedicated to that scream. She could hear it, clear as day, long after that first night. It sucked the air right out of the room, froze each of them in their place except Anne, who drew her hand to her chest, held it there as if she didn’t trust it not to stray back to her. They stood there and watched, almost as if they didn’t believe it. As if they didn’t want to believe it. That this was their Katherine, who always had a smile on her face, who bought shit no one needed just because it came in a pack of six. Their Katherine, who shrieked as if Anne’s touch had set her on fire, who kept her eyes shut even as the cries turned into no, don’t, stop, please. Sadness, anger, reservation, fear, everything Cath saw on the rest of their faces she saw on Katherine’s, and she didn’t know how one person could hold that many emotions inside of them, could feel them all at once.

Jane broke their silence, tried calling out to her, her voice soft and soothing, her words an attempt to coax her out of whatever reality her mind had her trapped in. Nothing happened. Anna joined in, and Cath could hear the desperation creeping into her voice, her usual steady nature quickly disappearing. She wanted to help but she didn’t know how, so she watched, watched as nothing changed, nothing got better, not until Aragon yelled her name as if it were a command and Katherine bolted upright. 

Her eyes were open but Cath knew instantly that she didn’t see them. Anne reached for her again, slowly this time, but the minute she got close enough to touch, Katherine practically jumped back. There weren’t many things that Cath hated more than that image: Katherine, trembling in the corner, knees brought up to her chest, sobbing, the sound not nearly muffled enough to hide it.

The first few times, she cried so hard she puked. Cath was almost grateful for the moments when she’d lunge for the trash can, because it was only then that she’d let any of them touch her. Jane usually walked out when it started, and she always came back with a glass of water but they all knew it wasn’t the reason she left. It was Aragon and Anna who sat with her, who rubbed circles on her back and held her hair out of the way. The first time, once it was over, once the crying had slowed and her breathing had steadied, she’d fallen asleep slumped against Anna’s body. It was another potential positive to the overwhelmingly negative situation: the puking usually meant she’d sleep again that night, exhaustion outweighing whatever it was she’d seen. 

When one of the others fell back asleep after a night like that, it usually cued the rest of them to sleep too, to go back to their rooms and attempt to salvage a few more hours themselves; with Katherine, nobody seemed ready to leave. For a while, none of them moved, none of them spoke. They just sat there. Waiting. The fear was palatable, but Cath wasn’t sure what they were more afraid of: waking Katherine up on accident, or having to do it again on purpose.

It was Anne, with tears in her eyes, who stormed out of the room first. From her spot by the door, Cath watched as Aragon followed her out, and as time passed they would eventually come to understand one another but that first night, so early into their group, there was still a tension there, one that would only fade with time and conversation. Cath held her breath when Anne lunged at Aragon, but she just let the hits come. One after the other, Anne’s fists banged against her chest, each one less forceful than the one that came before it. When Aragon finally stopped it, caught Anne’s wrists in midair, Cath watched as Anne seemed to crumble against her, and she couldn’t hear them but she could see Anne’s shoulders shaking with cries of her own. 

It was hard to say the nights got better. The puking stopped, but the crying didn’t, and as long as there were tears in her eyes Katherine refused to let the others touch her. Those nights somehow seemed longer than the first ones. When they woke her, when she backed herself into the corner of her room, the rest of them were left with almost nothing to do, almost no way to help. They’d sit on the floor and wait for her to come back to them, wait for the sobs to subside and whatever images she saw to fade long enough for reality to set in. It was only then that she moved toward them, slid onto the ground and let Anne and Anna put their arms around her. 

She remembered it was her idea. That while they waited, when they tried to ground her in the present without ever laying a hand on her, they should use their voices, the same way Aragon used hers to wake her up. So they sang. Sometimes together, sometimes separate. Old songs, new songs, original songs, it didn’t matter so long as they filled the silence and did so softly. Cath wasn’t sure if it worked, if it helped or not, but Katherine never told them to stop. So they sang. 

Cath had more notes on Katherine than any of the other girls, partially because she was the only one who refused to tell them what she saw. Cath wasn’t upset — it was her dreams, her decision on whether she wanted to talk about them — but she couldn’t help herself from theorizing in the privacy of her own notes. It hurt more than she thought it would. Thinking about her dreams, trying to imagine what she saw at night, coming up with horrible, gut-wrenching, terrifying scenarios on each page. Every time she wrote about her she felt sick to her stomach, but it was better to come up with ideas, to convince herself that one of her theories had to be right, because if she was wrong, if what Katherine saw was worse than anything Cath’s imagination could conjure up...she couldn’t be wrong. And as much as it hurt her to think about what exactly led to that type of reaction, to imagine for herself what she’d gone through, what she may have relived on the worst nights, she wouldn’t let herself leave it alone. If she understood, if she could figure it out, solve the puzzle, maybe she could find another way to help. To make it better. And any level of pain was worth it for that.

—

The very first person Cath started taking notes on was herself. She had to. Words lived on a page in a way that they didn’t anywhere else, and on the nights when she woke up in a sweat, when she felt tears in her eyes and on her cheeks, she needed the permanence that came with penmanship. She needed something to rely on. 

The first time, she’d been so caught up in her notes that she hadn’t noticed the girls walk in. She didn’t know how long they’d watched her, how long they waited for her to finish only for the words to continue. All she knew was that it was Katherine’s hand gently covering her own that stopped her pen mid-sentence, brought her gaze up and made her aware of both the noise she must have been making and the audience she suddenly had. 

She didn’t let them see her notes. Not the first time and certainly not any time after, when they each had their own pages filled with everything Cath would never tell them. She slid her notebook under her pillow, then under her mattress, let them believe she only wrote about herself and kept it hidden in plain sight. Those words were off-limits. 

The third time they asked, she told them the bare minimum. None of her theories, none of her rants and ramblings, but simply what she saw on the nights she woke up in a panic. 

She always started with his face. She hated looking at it, hated it then and hated it even more now, with her knowledge of what horrors came before her. She hated the way she censored herself when she was with him, the thoughts she buried and the feelings she suppressed in order to gain her title of Survivor. She hated the role she was expected to play as his Queen, the one that would never be her, not truly, not genuinely. She hated everything about him, except the words coming out of his mouth. 

In her dreams, he set her free. 

He told her he had tired of her, that he no longer found her interesting, and they were words that would have stung had they come from anyone else, but not from him. Not when they didn’t come as a death sentence but rather as a door opening for her, literally and figuratively. From his lips, those words were poetry, beautiful and elegant, a work of art in its own right. 

The minute she found herself outside, she went back home. Back to him. To Thomas. The trip was quicker than it should have been, something she noticed every time but never cared to focus on, not when he was finally within reach. She hadn’t dared waste time with a letter, not when she could knock on the door just as quickly as any messenger. Riding down familiar paths, the sun shining bright above her, she began to imagine their reunion, to give breath to the life inside her head that she’d tried to bury during her time in the castle. 

She didn’t expect to find him with another woman. When she opened the door, when a stranger stared back at her, she felt her confidence sway just slightly, but she built herself back up, reminded herself of where she’d been just moments before. She knew more than anyone the power that marriage held, and if he’d used that same power while she was gone, she knew that she wouldn’t, couldn’t, blame him. Not when he could break it now, not when they could have that with each other, the way they’d planned. She knew their love. It was stronger than this.

The first real sign she got, the first feeling that something was off, came as she saw his face when he stepped into view. Cath had always prided herself on her ability to read other people, to get a sense of their emotions before they even spoke a word. It was how she’d survived Henry, how she’d known what to say and when to make sure he never found her reprehensible. But now, staring at his face, she saw emotions that didn’t make any sense. Confusion, annoyance, disgust, all swirled into one, blinking like warning signs on an empty road, flashing like lightning on a clear day. He said her name but it sounded all wrong, nothing like she remembered. 

Still, she ignored them. The signs. She explained her release, confessed to him that the life in her head, the life they’d planned together, the future she’d once thought impossible, was all that had kept her going for years. She told him they could be together now, that it could finally become reality, and she reached for his hands but he pulled away. He looked down at her, and she hadn’t noticed it before but he towered over her, and staring up at him she couldn’t remember ever feeling this small.

When he opened his mouth, none of the words that came out made any sense. He told her that he’d never meant what he said, that they’d never planned a life together. He told her she was crazy if she believed their fling was anything more than a temporary distraction, that she was someone he would ever consider marrying. She tried to correct him, to bring up the conversations they had and their moments together but he told her she misremembered, that her mind must have cracked under the pressure of the royal life because nothing she said even remotely resembled reality. 

She wanted to fight. She wanted to yell and scream, to tell him that she knew her mind, that there was none stronger than hers, none more reliable, but before she could say a word he asked if she’d created any other fantasies. If she had any other memories that could never have happened. If when she closed her eyes, she saw more lives for herself, saw herself with anyone else but him, and suddenly she couldn’t speak, because when she closed her eyes she saw herself on stage. She saw herself surrounded by women who had come before her, with a new face and new hair and pants, and she knew it could never be true, but she remembered it. She remembered it so clearly, could hear the melodies in her head and see the faces of women she’d never met, could identify them even when they had bodies that didn’t match the portraits she’d seen, when they should have been strangers. And she remembered the feeling of standing underneath the lights, of singing and having people listen, of finally feeling heard, and it was magnificent and exhilarating but it couldn’t possibly be real.

She kept her mouth shut but he knew, somehow, what her silence meant, gave her a smile that couldn’t be trusted and told her perhaps it would be best to go back to the king, to beg for his forgiveness, and the last thought she remembered having before her eyes shot open was that she’d rather die. 

She hadn’t known what to expect from them. Part of her held her breath as she finished talking, waited for them to tell her that she was overreacting, that she didn’t suffer like the rest of them, that she didn’t suffer at all. But they never did. She felt Jane’s arms around her, felt Anne reach for her hand, listened to Anna say the only crazy thing about her was the fact that she ate kale on purpose, and within minutes they were all debating whether the health benefits were worth the lack of taste, and it was so absurdly normal, so uniquely them, that it relaxed her, grounded her, and without meaning to she closed her eyes and let the sound of them put her back to sleep. 

She only told them about it once, but the pattern stayed the same every time, the conversation and the company never faltering or failing to ease her mind. It was after she woke up again, when everybody had gone back to their own rooms, that she wrote. Each entry was almost exactly the same, but she never felt as if she truly got rid of the lingering feeling until she wrote it down, until she could look back at it and know that even if her mind betrayed her one day, if her memory disappeared, she could always rely on the notes to remember the truth. Once she wrote it down, it couldn’t be changed, not without leaving traces, evidence of altered work. Her writing could never lie to her. It was the one thing in life she could trust wholeheartedly.

—

The dreams scared her, shook her to her bones in a way she often struggled to describe, but they were nothing compared to the feeling she got when she woke up one morning, reached for her notebook and found empty space. She’d barely opened her eyes but suddenly she was wide awake, was searching deeper and deeper under her mattress, was about to stand up and tear her room apart if she had to when she saw her. Sitting on the edge of her bed was Anne, staring not at Cath but at the notebook in her lap. 

“Give that back”. Cath didn’t expect the intensity of her own voice. She hadn’t talked like that, hadn’t given orders like that, since she was the Queen. She could see Anne falter slightly, but she still didn’t look up, and it was only then that Cath noticed the book was still closed. 

“It’s not just you,” Anne said softly. “You’ve written about all of us in here, haven’t you?”

Cath hesitated, long enough for Anne to finally look up at her, and she didn’t know what she thought she’d find in her eyes but she certainly wasn’t expecting sorrow. Or fear. She thought she’d find anger, but not like this, not so subdued. 

For half a second she thought about lying; instead, she nodded. Anne looked back down, as if she could see right through the cover, as if she could stare straight into all the pages herself without ever lifting a finger. “I haven’t read it,” she said, “so you don’t have to worry about that. But I think you should show it to someone. Someone smart. Let them help you, and maybe help the rest of us.” She looked back up at her. “That is what you’re doing, right? Trying to figure us all out so you can make it better. Studying the dreams to make them stop.”

Out of all of her questions, she only cared about one: “How did you know?”

“I pay attention when I want to. It’s easy when no one expects you to do it. Easy to watch people when they’re usually the ones doing the watching.”

“What do you see when you watch me?”

Anne shrugged. “I see the way wheels are always spinning in your mind when one of us starts talking. I see how you’re always the last one to leave, how you always linger just a second longer than the rest of us. I see how quiet you get, even when I know you always have a thousand questions about everything. You never ask them. You never push.”

“It’s not my job,” she said without meaning to.

Anne frowned at her. “Not your job?”

Cath sighed, searched for the words she’d never planned to say. “We each have our thing on the bad nights. Our role. Yours is to cheer people up. Anna’s is to start the conversation. And mine is to watch. To watch and to learn.”

Anne just sat there for a moment, staring at her. Usually, when she looked at Anne, she thought she looked young. Maybe it was her smile, or the mischief that was almost always in her eyes, but right now, without either, she looked older than her years. As if she carried more wisdom behind her eyes than she should, than most would ever expect. 

Finally, she spoke. “I think you’re wrong.”

“About what?”

“You. Your job.” Cath must have looked as confused as she felt, because Anne elaborated. “You’re not the person who watches us. Well, you are, but watching isn’t your role.”

“Then what is?”

“You’re what holds us all together. You’re the glue, Cath.”

Cath shook her head. “No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. The writing, the watching, it’s how you do it. How you know what everyone needs.”

“No, you don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand?”

Cath didn’t know what kind of dam inside her snapped, but suddenly she couldn’t stop the words from flowing. “Because I know what everyone needs, and what they don’t need is me. My job is useless if I’m not smart enough to fix it. I haven’t found a single solution in these pages, but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how to help. I don’t—“ she searched for the words. “I don’t know how to be there for you guys. How to show that I care. Not unless I can solve it. Which I can’t.”

Anne held the notebook up. “And what do you think this is? Proof of how much you don’t care?”

Cath shook her head. “Those notes are stupid.”

“Says who?”

“Says the person who wrote them.”

“That hardly makes you qualified to judge.”

Cath laughed, but it didn’t come out right. “You don’t even know what’s inside.”

“But I know you. If you wrote them, they aren’t stupid.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve spent months writing them, but Katherine still wakes up screaming. Jane still wakes up crying. And you…” she shook her head. “There aren’t any answers in there. No one wants those.”

“I do. I want them.”

“Why?” 

Anne’s eyes shifted back down to the notebook; when she looked back up, she held it out to her. “Because I want to get better. And I want my friends to get better. And to do that, I think we need to understand. I think we need to learn. And who better to teach us than the one who watches and learns? Who better to bring us together than the glue?”

Cath stared at the journal. She hadn’t meant to say it all, to give a voice to the thoughts she’d tried to bury. She’d planned on hiding her uselessness until she could fight it, until she could find something usable, something that worked. But maybe that wasn’t her job. Maybe she needed someone else to find what she couldn’t, to connect the dots she laid out, to see a map in her pages and read it in a way she never could. Or maybe, if they read what she wrote, they’d discover the same thing she did: that it was helpless. That she was helpless. That it didn’t matter. Two theories, two potential ends, and no way of predicting which would come into fruition. 

She spoke more to the journal than to Anne. “I don’t think you’ll find what you’re looking for in there.”

“Maybe not. But it can’t get any worse than it already is.”

Cath nodded, reached for the book only to push it back into Anne’s hands. “I want you to read it first.”

Anne looked up at her. “Why?”

“Because you told me to find someone smart to help me.” 

Anne smiled, before staring back at the notebook. She went to open it but hesitated, and it was Cath who reached for her hand, Cath who opened to the first page and let their work begin.