#ah they're fucking

[bowieified]

Wondering what Mrs. Henderson must have been thinking on first meeting Aziraphale.

Since Aziraphale:

pauses significantly before referring to Crowley as 'his good friend'

proceeds to pull his handkerchief out of his pocket and wave it around in the most adorably gay way imaginable ('I'm no stranger to the art of prestidigitation!')

has Crowley act as his 'trusted stooge and confidant' as part of his magic show

There's really only one conclusion you can come to about that.

But then it occurred to me; they've probably been causing this misunderstanding for the whole of human history.

For centuries they've been meeting up clandestinely in male form in public places, and when people correctly make the assumption that they're friends since they're acting so chummy, Aziraphale then proceeds to deny it very hotly (i.e. at the Globe, 'oh he's not my friend, we've never met before, we don't know each other'), to the extent that everyone around them probably thinks 'Ah, they're fucking'.

[inkskinned]

"don't make it political!" .... what proportion of death and suffering must occur before politics are involved. if this isn't political, what is even the point of any politics, ever. of democracy. the words are "by the people for the people." if i am going to be left alone by my elected representatives to "figure it out" - to undergo damage, hardship, fear. what the fuck did i elect them for. what was their job. the entire point is that they handle this shit. this is why we were supposed to be electing leaders.

poverty is political. misogyny is political. gun control is political. climate change is political. how much aid a community gets is political. what the fuck are you talking about. it's been political this whole fucking time.

[bogdreamz]

korvo lost and farting 0 stars for you my boy

[nekrosmos]

Making out after their date 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨​🍷​

[tls123]

thirty-one days of jiujiu(ly) — 2024 edition // day twenty-nine + with bonus lan wangji ! + find the 2022 edition here

[deoidesign]

Idk who needs to hear this but time and time again isn't over!!!

Webtoon removed the "time and time again will return!!!" Banner and I don't know why, but it's not over!!! There's still another 1/3 of the comic to go! There's a lot more stuff that I'm working on and it'll be coming back soon!

Please be patient with me, I know it's been a long time... But the stuff I'm making is really good and there's a lot of reasons it's taken this long. I promise I want it back more than anyone.

I'm trying to come back around the end of October. I'm doing my best to get everything ready in time, so no promises, but I'm on track to do so! I'm just one person writing and drawing everything, and my editor was fired so I'm not even getting any notes anymore. It's literally just me. I'm doing my best I promise!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

assorted scribbles and Love Bites!!!!

[beanghostprincess]

shanks accidentally kidnaps alvida and then the red-haired pirates spend a week trying to return her to karai bari without causing a diplomatic episode. she stumbles across his buggy shrine 2 hours in her laughable hostage situation. shanks is vibrating from restraining himself from asking a million questions about buggy. she keeps accidentally implying buggy is swimming in bitches every time she talks about cross guild but she actually means that crochawk are warming up to him. shanks is shaking some more, from jealousy this time. yassop tries to bond with her and fails cause his son comes up and alvida tells him mihawk thinks he is a deadbeat. roux is a little too interested on ritchie's myriad of talents (what do u mean the lion can play the saxophone that's so fucking cool). she is stuck wearing men's clothes cause shanks puked on her and then when he tried to wash her outfit it got destroyed ("weren't you a cabin boy?" "they always had buggy do the laundry :c"). all around a mess.

This is amazing because Shanks panicking about Buggy while Alvida teases him and also makes Yasopp anxious sounds like the most chaotic and insane situation. But- How do you even "accidentally" kidnap someone? I- You know what? Doesn't matter. Shanks is capable of doing it somehow. The point here is that now Shanks is begging Alvida to tell him more about Buggy, Yasopp is panicking and Benn is rethinking why the hell he even decided to join Shanks in the first place. Alvida is not having fun but at least they aren't a threat, they're just morons, which is worse.

[jevdev-art]

Desires 💫🍴

[natelia-aldelliz]

Hi I briefly found my motivation again so here you go <3

Sorry for disappearing for so long, I was back on my bi-yearly hyperfixation on dragon age which for me means a lot of maths and I'm bad at maths so my brain fries a little more every time.

[bi-focal12]

i watched that hallmark movie "three wise men and a baby" with my mom tonight and had this little bkdk brain worm. please enjoy.

bkdk meet cute (but really it's a meet awkward) (they make it work)

“I cannot fucking believe you’re doing this to me.” 

“Doing what?” Denki replied glibly, palming through a handful of bills as he checked and rechecked the cash register in front of him. 

Katsuki leaned forward, bracing his hands on the thin stretch of countertop separating them, gratified to notice Denki taking a small step backward.  

“Ruining my fucking life.”

Denki sighed, lowering his hands as he finally turned to meet Katsuki’s gaze. “It’s just for the day,” he promised, “and you lost rock paper scissors fair and square!”

“I didn’t know the stakes!” Katsuki shot back. 

Denki rolled his eyes as he pushed the cash register closed and ducked behind the counter, returning with the source of the awful squawking that had been invading Katsuki’s eardrums since the second he set foot in Denki’s stupid bookstore. 

“Sir Papolapodous isn’t even that much work.”

“Sir what?”

“Welcome in!” Denki called, responding to the chime of the front door while Katsuki continued to stare down the bright yellow monstrosity being carted off on him for the afternoon. 

As if sensing its imminent doom, the bird began messing with the door to its cage.  

“Just watch out,” Denki continued, “sometimes he likes to-”

Katsuki ducked as the bird launched itself out of the cage. 

“...escape.”

“What the fuck?” Katsuki shouted, pressing his knuckles to his cheek where the damn thing had scratched him. His fingers came back bloody. “Oi, I’m not watching your stupid flying machete for-” 

“Here!” Denki said, hastily rifling into another bag sitting on the countertop and retrieving some sort of pellet thing that he balanced on Katsuki’s shoulder. “He’ll come to you! Watch!”

Katsuki froze. “Hey, I don’t want that thing anywhere near-”

“Sir Papolapodous!” Denki cheered happily, eyes somewhere beyond Katsuki’s right shoulder. Katsuki tensed. 

The demon landed easily on his shoulder, snatching up the pellet and chirping loudly in Katsuki’s ear. Like a threat. Right beside Katsuki’s vulnerable, jugular-having throat. 

“Aw,” Denki cooed. “He likes you!”

“I’ll roast him,” Katsuki warned. “Don’t you leave me with it.” 

Denki gently pushed the bag from earlier towards Katsuki. “I left you instructions.”

“Stab. Pluck. Spin over fire.”

The bird nudged Katsuki’s cheek and Katsuki flinched away, jerking his shoulder to dislodge the pest. 

The bird ignored his efforts. 

“Seriously, Katsuki,” Denki whined, pressing his palms together, “I need to go to the dentist but I’ll be back before close and- hey, maybe some of the customers will get a kick out of seeing him!”

“Yeah, if they like their books covered in shit,” Katsuki complained. 

“No, no, he’s cage-trained,” Denki promised, untying his worker’s apron and hanging it up behind the counter. “Take good care of my son please!”

Katsuki made a face of utter disbelief. “Hey, I agreed to watch your stupid store, loser. Not to become a fucking Wild Kratt!”

Denki quickly hopped over the counter and out of Katsuki’s reach. 

“Two in one package!”

The bell rang loudly in Katsuki’s ears as Denki completed his cowardly retreat. 

“Fucking asshole,” Katsuki muttered. “Cavity-ridden, dead-brain, no-good, ass-”

“Excuse me?” someone said politely. 

Katsuki spun on his heel- perhaps a shade too quickly, or perhaps with too much bird launching off his shoulder because the customer fell flat on their ass with a startled shout, leaving Katsuki awkwardly looming over them. 

“Ow.”

Belatedly, Katsuki leaned down to offer his hand. 

The demon watched them from atop the nearest shelf of books. 

“I- I’m so sorry,” the guy stammered out, straightening his wire-rim glasses and reaching gratefully for Katsuki’s hand. “I- I really wasn’t expecting that.”

“‘S no problem,” Katsuki replied, curiously shelving the guy’s meekness next to his solid, heavy build as he hauled him up. His hands were incredibly scarred and calloused for someone who jumped at the sight of house pets- demonic or not- but Katsuki supposed he’d give him a pass, considering Katsuki’s own near-death experience was still dripping down his face. “Don’t think anybody expects to get dive bombed by a parakeet on a Sunday morning. Unless you’re a fucking vet or something, I guess.”

“That- that’s true,” the guy said, stumbling a bit as Katsuki righted him, one hand landing briefly on Katsuki’s chest. 

With his head ducked in embarrassment, the guy only came up to Katsuki’s chin but even so, he looked like he could give Katsuki a run for his money on the sparring mat. Katsuki was just about to ask what kind of workouts the did when the guy murmured, 

“Pecs.”

Katsuki blinked. “Pecks?”

The guy’s head snapped up towards Katsuki’s, wide-eyed and pale in his freckled face. 

“God dammit, did that thing fucking peck you?” Katsuki groaned, turning to glare at the preening beast. “‘Cause I can give you a fucking discount on whatever you came in here for before I string him up by his stupid little talons.”

“Wha-? Ah, no! No, no, no,” the guy assured, frantically waving his hands in front of himself. 

Large hands, Katsuki noticed. One of which had been resting warmly over Katsuki’s shirt a moment ago. 

“That won’t be necessary!” 

“Then why’d you-?”

“Pet!” the guy corrected, freckles now washed out by a steady shade of pink. “I’m a…pet…” His eyes darted nervously to the left before snapping back to Katsuki. “...therapist.”

His eyes were a very fucking bright shade of green. 

Katsuki blinked slowly as he registered the words that had come out of Greenie’s mouth- taking in the embarrassed tilt to the guy’s lips. His fitted T-shirt. His obnoxiously bright red shoes. Frankly, he looked like he got dressed in the dark. 

Katsuki wet his lips. “A pet therapist,” he repeated blandly. 

“Ah..mhm,” the guy said, nodding. “So, um, so the dive bombings really aren’t that odd,” he added, tacking on an airy laugh. 

Katsuki continued to stare at him, because clearly one of them had taken on major brain damage in the past five minutes, and considering that this guy’s shirt said tuxedo and had a growing hole along the shoulder seam, Katsuki really hoped it wasn’t himself. 

The man gestured vaguely to the shelf behind him. “That’s really a lovely bird you’ve got there, um…?”

“Katsuki,” he supplied. 

“Izuku,” the man smiled, offering out his hand. “Izuku Midoriya.”

Warily, Katsuki shook it. “...Pet therapist,” he repeated. 

“Yup!” Izuku said in a high voice, smiling wider. “That’s me. Therapizing the pets.” 

“Right,” Katsuki replied, because what the fuck was even happening, “well, if you’re looking for a book, we uh…have them.”

Internally, Katsuki cringed. Then he sent a seething, telepathic complaint to Denki because Katsuki had been fired from his one and only customer service job at fifteen and the universe had never made the mistake of putting him in that position ever again for a reason.

Fucking rock paper scissors. 

“Right,” Izuku mimicked, his thousand-watt smile pressing flat with amusement. His stupid green eyes were practically dancing with mirth and Katsuki suddenly felt very warm in the face- alone in a bookstore with a yellow, dive-bombing demon and a man with a fake-sounding job and no sense of color coordination and a very firm handshake. 

Katsuki crossed his arms over his chest, ever so slightly jutting out his chin. He could still feel the outline of a hand where the guy had caught himself against Katsuki. 

“What kinda book does a pet therapist need, anyway?”

The guy continued to blink up at Katsuki for a moment before coming to his senses with a startled, “Oh! I was wondering if you had any comics, actually. All Might, specifically.”

Katsuki raised an interested brow, looking between something-Midoriya, the demon from hell, and then Midoriya again. 

Katsuki had absolutely zero idea what sorts of books Denki had in stock, let alone if he carried the single most greatest graphic novel series of Katsuki’s youth. 

Still, he clicked his tongue. “Let’s find out.”

[lucifer-kane]

just saw a twitter post saying malevolent tumblr is media illiterate because of the way they critique malevolent/harlan. HUH.

[dropoutfailure]

(prev anon) also for what it worth.. throwing my hat into the ring for chaser dad. love the idea of a dad being fascinated by his kid crafting their own masculinity and him being unexpectedly turned on by that. also maybe bi dad who never acknowledged his attraction towards guys but has to grapple with it when his trans son is like. Undeniably A Dude™️ and hes still hard for him

fuck yea, they're both discovering something new about themselves when they explore each other's bodies. something vulnerable to share with each other 💘

although for that particular post / poll I was thinking kinda toxic dadson, so - chaser dad is horny + pathetic + desperate for trans boy pussy. he's very into trans men from discovering ftm porn and initially panics when his son actually starts testosterone, because he didn't take him seriously at all when he first came out. dad has never fucked a trans guy before but really fucking wants to. but... that's his son. he shouldn't... he wouldn't? surely it's unrealistic, he couldn't. but maybe it's a blessing in disguise? he starts trying to repair their emotionally distant relationship and talks to his son more often, wanting to know more about his transition and changes. :) and he tries to tell himself he has no ulterior motives, but can't help being rock hard as he looks his son over - his new facial hair, his voice that's starting to change as he talks, and so much more that he can't see but really fucking wants to. he's curious about the changes in smell, body hair growth, and especially bottom growth and libido!! god he wants to suck him off and be the first to make him cum see how his son's t-dick looks at least! but yknow... that might be strange to ask... unless he can disguise it as a male bonding thing?? <- scheming

and the son can tell something is up - his dad suddenly gives him a lot of attention, but it feels off... like he's being treated like a boyfriend not a son? is that weird? but the attention feels so fulfilling! he's never been close with his dad, so he craves the affection, not to mention he's starting to get horny from the testosterone and they're both adults with needs, so might as well buy into the whole "69ing is like a normal widespread male bonding thing" even if he knows it's bs

[lesbianwyllravengard]

I'm a real tragedy enjoyer but Luis's death is no longer narratively enjoyable for me, now it just feels like an insult. I'm tired of characters having to die to be "redeemed". It's not their death that is the redemption, it's the fact that they were willing to die in the first place; it's the intent of sacrifice. I much prefer a narrative where Luis survives and is forced to every day atone for his past mistakes. I much prefer when characters don't get the respite of death, when they have to live with their demons, when they have to face their past and maintain their growth. And it's especially maddening when the only reason Luis dies is because he did in the original. They'll change his character so much to give him substance but they won't change his fate? I don't want that.

[aka-indulgence]

Thinking of a scenario where you're gesring up to confess to uf!sans and you're really nervous and fret a lot and general anxiety of rejection, and you tell this to paps and papyrus is just like

"EXCUSE ME. HOW. DARE YOU. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH SANS TALKS ABOUT YOU? IF I HAD EARS THEY'D BE BLEEDING! I PROMISE YOU IF ANYONE'S OUT OF SOMEONE'S LEAGUE, IT'S HIM. GO SPILL YOUR SQUISHY FEELINGS HUMAN."

(Pushes you to wherever Sans is)

[gxlden-angels]

Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn

Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished

And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue