#ah right because I can't stop listening to sad songs

[looking-for-a-sword]

[edelfie]

#𝓣𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘! wannabe chart topper.

there is a certain sense of degradation and shame that comes with being a well-known industry figure not for what you create, but for how terrible you seem to be at it. no matter what genre or style it seems you just haven’t got the midas touch. your friends aren’t gonna let that stop you from doing the thing you love—no, not creating music, silly! publicly shaming your exes through song!

or, there is no better cure for heartache than money, revenge, and clout (in that order).

POST CREDITS! —

There's a heavy sigh that escapes Asahi's lips as he closes out from the group chat. Normally the mood isn't so...dour, and the seldom times it is it appears to be a product of his own doing. Yet to see you, especially, so downtrodden upset him. Asahi knows that everyone becomes sad for one reason or another, naturally, but the ever-confident Y/N L/N being insecure? Unfathomable, he declares.

From the day he met you, you have been a rock. Not just in his life, but also in his idealized version of you. Of everyone in the group, you had one of the bigger personalities—it was hard to know for sure if yours was the biggest when Tendou is being...Tendou. Regardless, you always carried yourself like you knew you could buy the entirety of Japan with your pocket change.

You couldn’t, of course—you didn’t even come close. But the unwavering confidence you held in that you could was admirable, if not slightly arrogant. In Asahi’s mind though, it took a certain type of person to be selfish, headstrong, self-centered. And to pull it off so well that he didn’t even hate them? He had to give flowers where they’re due.

And if you're none of those things, you're a damn good actor—and maybe that's part of your "star power" too. You had him fooled, and he's sure you'll fool the entire world too. So, with a bit of selfishness, he'll continue to remain by your side and push you into the limelight so he can bask in that aura once more. Even when he knows it isn't real.

You are a rock, the one which holds their entire rag-tag group together. You are the post in which the ship hauls their anchor upon. You are the jagged edges which cut through those who earn your ire, drawing blood. You are softened by the crashing tides which erode at your exterior. You really are special, and he can't imagine you being anyone else.

"Oi, are you still listening?"

Asahi snaps to attention. He had completely forgot he was on the phone with Yuu, so absorbed with his thoughts. The lack of sleep was also likely to blame as he teetered from left to right, eyes hovering open just a crack. Still, he makes a great effort to not look like he was totally spacing out.

"Ah, yeah I am! Sorry..."

"Right," Yuu drags the word on for a few seconds "Anyways, like I was saying..."

NOTES! —

Rise and shine (ursine)! Today is a new day, and I'm aiming to double post today, so be on the lookout for that! Ah, but don't hold me accountable if I don't either—I get out from my classes late today and commute in peak traffic, so the second chapter may be released wayyyy later today or not at all (until tomorrow that is wkwk). Anyways, today's fundraiser goes towards supporting Rachel Pikrel-Hawkins and her children in Colorado.

Rachel's ex husband, Michael Hawkins, is a retired police sergeant and convicted felon and sex offender for the continuous rape and sexual assault of his daughter and two adopted daughters. However, he is free from custody while Rachel is in jail for objecting to court-ordered reunification therapy between Michael and two of their sons. The case is beyond horrifying and revolting, and I recommend reading into it further in the description of the GoFundMe page. If you are able to assist Rachel in paying for attorneys to defend her and her children in court, please consider donating here and sharing their story with others.

If you’ve noticed, the “blind items” section looks different today! That’s because it’s supposed to be an in-universe bonus section for gossip and rumors, usually about what happened in the screenshots. However for this conversation, obviously nobody is telling any gossip pages about this, so I replaced it with “Post Credits”! Now whenever there are no blind items, this section will appear instead and will detail the inner thoughts, feelings, and opinions of the characters—or, just anything that didn't make the cut. These are all still canonical, but weren't included in the chapter for a platitude of reasons (conflicting pov, limited time, etc.) Please take these crumbs of writing as a sign of my gratitude for all you readers!

PREV + MASTERLIST + NEXT

© all rights reserved—edelfie (2024) // do not plagiarize, modify, copy, use, translate, or repost my work on other sites without permission

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister CH13

Chapter 13: "Celebrating Life Is Stupid”

Summary: After reuniting and growing closer, Dazai and Oda’s sister truly realize the value of each other and the sad bandaged boy falls deeper into the dangerous fascination and infatuation that is Odasaku’s little sister.

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old Dazai, pm! sixteen year old chuuya, ginger is very angry, Suicide mentions, guns, manipulation on both sides, Odasaku death mentions, Dazai being a Simp, Dazai being the demon prodigy but also baby at the same time.

(This is chapter thirteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro (Broken up because the first ch is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 6k total

—-

Tapping his feet in already brewing annoyance, Chuuya pushed his phone closer to his ear as each ear grating ring pissed him off by the second. And honestly, by the third one he debated throwing the entire object into the wall next to him in a fit of frustration.

He knew that little mackerel was doing this on purpose, sending his calls to voicemail over and over again. That guy never had anything notable going on and he knew the boss was gonna have his ass if he didn’t get in contact with that little shit.

But fortunately, or rather unfortunately for him, the line picked up on the fifth ring only to hear that same happy go lucky, irritating sing-song tone he alway seemed to use.

He hated that sound more than anything, mostly because the ginger he was about to be made fun of. “Oh Chuuuuuya, what an impatient little dog you are, blowing up my phone like this. Can't get enough of me I see.”

Gritting his teeth to hold his outburst, Chuuya simply scoffed. “Shut up, it's your own damn fault for not picking up. I know you are doing it on purpose, you shitty little mackerel.”

The voice on the other hands only hummed though, obviously unbothered. “So rude, Chuuuya, assuming such things. I am actually very busy right now. Which is why your interruption is way less pleasant than usual. And that’s saying something, considering your presence is never pleasant.”

Chuuya knew better though. “Bullshit, you’re never busy. You’re probably just fucking around somewhere.”

Just then, he heard a fake ass gasp on the side of the phone only for Dazai to answer straightforwardly. “If you call “fucking around” me currently pinning down a beautiful woman then I suppose you're right about that. Isn’t that right, love?”

Almost immediately, the ginger felt bile work its way into his throat, shoving the feeling down before shouting back roughly. “Ah, you’re so fucking disgusting! I don’t wanna know about that shit.”

Oh my god, why did he have to bring up that kind of stuff?! The last thing he wanted to do was picture shitty stupid Dazai like that, especially with some nonamed whore or brain dead manipulated bitch.

That poor soul that was with him right now, the one Dazai just called love, he pitied her, whoever she was.

Forcing the idea from his mind, Chuuya then shook his head before adding. “Listen, the boss gave us another mission in a couple days and I wanna make sure you don’t try to ditch again or else I’m gonna kill you for real, got that?!”

He knew the kid’s pattern after all, Chuuya knew how flighty and unreliable that stupid mackerel really was and he wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to get dragged into that again. The first time he flaked was bad enough.

But as expected, Dazai didn’t sound serious, he didn’t even sound remotely interested in his threats as the boy simply waved the question away. “Don’t worry slug, I’ll be there. Can’t have my dog getting lonely, now can I?”

At that name, Chuuya felt his anger spike, the boy unable to stop his outburst. What was his damn problem?! “You fuckin…I’m not a dog!!’

Dazai’s voice only came back confused though, his voice just as annoying, cheerful and mocking as usual. “How strange, all I can hear is woof woof woof so I’m gonna hang up now! See ya, Chibi.”

And just like that, the line turned dead, causing the ginger’s eye to twitch before tightening his hold on his phone before giving into the impulse and throwing the object against the wall next to him.

Watching the phone shatter to prices before his eyes, Chuuya then shook his head before grumbling out his frustrations to absolutely no one.

“I’m gonna kill him..”

——-

Closing his flip phone absentmindedly, Dazai simply smiled to himself before placing the object back into his pants pocket only to hear the voice underneath him speak out hopefully. “Was that Chuuya?”

The boy only shook his head though, pushing his foot further into the speakers chest in order to shove his enemy further into the ground roughly. “Don’t sound so happy about it. That slug shouldn’t gain such a reaction.”

His opponent only put her hands out in defense though, turning her head curiously to the side with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

Dazai expected that kind of response though, his eyes moving up in order to glance around the familiar port mafia owned warehouse that they had spent the last hour or so before she spoke again.

And this time, it was far more pushy than before. “Sooo, what did he say?”

Already feeling his lips twist into a bitter smirk, Dazai’s foot then pushed deeper into her chest, exulting double the amount of force in order for her to stop speaking. “Those aren’t the kinds of things you should be worried about, Asa-chan, considering the position you're in right now..”

Which was something that Asagao seemed to be missing in her tiny little brain considering he was currently pinning her down to the dirty and dusty warehouse floor by his foot. He clearly had the upper hand here so there was no reason for her to speak so casually.

That, and the fact that she was asking about Chuuya of all people in this sort of dangerous position caused Dazai’s sick and twisted port mafia heart to darken with malice. He was the one she was supposed to be focusing on, not that glorified hat rack.

She was at the mercy of the demon prodigy and she was acting like they were talking about the weather. He wanted her to regret ever asking about that hat rack in the first place, to apologize between his fingers for not taking his presence seriously and speaking of another so foolishly.

Then to prove his point, the boy reached into his pocket before taking out his gun in order to point the barrel straight at her head with silent warning.

It was a move that would make any one shutter and cower immediately. In fact, it was something he used a million times before to intimate each and everyone of his enemies.

But he had already learned that Asagao didn’t play by the rules of his other opponents.

Turning her head in confusion, the girl simply looked at the foot that was constricting her breathing before returning to the demon with a gentle smile of unbothered idiocy. “Oh, I’m not worried.”

And for a moment, Dazai paused, playing her game. “And why’s that, love?”

He wanted to see what she’d say, how she would justify her calm and collected behavior even though she was staring down the barrel of his gun. Yes, Asagao had outwardly said that she wasn’t afraid of dying by his hand but she wasn’t even trying to get out of it.

And he knew she could, he knew that the hellhound could fight back him if she so chose, so the fact that she was allowing Dazai to pin her down like this was interesting to say the least.

This girl, she was seconds from death and still her eyes held not one bit of urgency.

A moment later, Asagao spoke, her voice full of nostalgic memory as she reached forward in order to pull the barrel closer to her chest. “Because this is how we met, remember?”

Almost immediately, Dazai’s mind seemed to snap back to their first encounter almost an entire year ago. Huh, she was right. They had been in this position before, hadn’t they?

Back when the boy was drowning in his grief, back when he found an intruder in his friend's old place and threatened them in the same exact manner.

If only he knew how utterly life changing that little meeting had been, what kind of storm erupted from the moment he tore that hoodie off her head and looked into her Odasaku eyes.

And it was the same now, the boy looking down at her glasses free expression in order to catalog and trace the iris silently to himself. He seemed to do that a lot lately, getting lost in the emptiness as it swallowed him whole each and every time.

He was grateful for it also, knowing that the dullness of her eyes was way more welcoming then the darkness of his own soul, that by having her here he had switched the method of his demise.

Yes, drowning in Asagao was much more tolerant than drowning in his grief.

A sweeter way to die indeed, a more pleasant experience than what he ever deserved, and yet Dazai couldn’t stop himself from staring even so.

So much so, Dazai felt his lips twist upwards in familiar memory before his finger carefully cocked the gun with a dark chuckle. “Oops. You’re right, how silly of me. Let’s continue where we left off then, hmm?”

Then without a second thought, the executive pulled the trigger as a loud shot echoed through the warehouse. And most people would’ve been horrified by such a reaction, they would have regretted aiming at something he just so clearly said that he admired.

But you see, Dazai didn’t underestimate his girlfriend, not one bit.

Casually putting his hand down on his side, the mafioso then smirked to himself before turning around only to find his enemy a couple feet away, her hands on her hips. “Damn, you really tried to shoot me. I’m surprised and a little impressed, demon prodigy.”

Dazai only shrugged his shoulders though, unbothered. “Well, you told me to look at you as a threat, did you not, Asa-chan?”

It was conversation that was very prevalent in his mind, even today. Sure, the boy should’ve taken their fights easy, he should’ve sparred in a way that made sure Oda’s sister was safe but that wasn’t his style, and neither was hers.

No, Dazai treated her like a real threat, just like she deserved, he trusted that she was smart enough to anticipate his moves and counteract, like just right now.

And the fact that she had done just that also proved his theory that she could’ve gotten out his hold at any time.

What a sneaky shady little hellhound she was. He was onto her big time.

Then as if to prove his internal analysis, he watched Asagao’s face twist into that same twisted, psychotic and giddy smile that enticed him time and time again before watching her fingers twitch in unkept adrenaline just by that simple phrase.

And Dazai would never understand the power his acknowledgment had on her. That just by giving her his entire strength she was already antsy to match it. The hellhound training that had been embedded into her since she was a child, it coated and clouded every other single thought in her brain.

Pushing her fingers up to the ponytail that held her unruly crimson mane in place, Asagao then chuckled darkly before practically ripping the restraint in order to let her hair free.

And with that simple move, she had also ripped down the chains that held the monstrous creature beneath the surface, unafraid of the response it would give. “Oh Samu, you know just how to rile a girl up, don’t you? You’re right about that one, I am a threat. Now allow me to live up to your potential of me and show you how..”

And Dazai loved it, he loved that crazed beast-like look more than anything, his stance grounding itself immediately only to find that his enemy had disappeared in front of his eyes. Ah, she was using her time stopping ability. How cute.

Turning the safety off his gun, the boy then narrowed his eyes before sensing a change of wind to the right in order to let off three more shots just as Asagao reappeared millimeters from his face.

She seemed to register the bullets just in time, her body rolling to the ground in order to just miss the dangerous attacks as Dazai smirked in admiration.

And let’s be honest, should he have been pointing that gun at her like this? No. Should he have been directing his shots with the intent to kill. Also no. It was insanely risky and if she was even second too late then he would have the blood of another Oda on his hands.

Which was something the boy wrestled with internally but it seemed like his port mafia blood craved the opposite, to see just what amazing and enticing ways she could get out each deadly situation he threw at her.

And that desire, that allure was stronger than his fear to keep her locked away forever. No, she had a power, and it was too enticing to ignore, especially for the twisted mafioso who was looking for something entertaining.

He was then taken out of his thoughts as a rough hand wrapped around the barrel of his gun in order to pull it forward without fear as Asagao smirked in victory.

It didn’t matter that the chamber was loaded, it didn’t matter that his fingers were on the trigger and any slight movement could cause the end of her life.

Asa’s grip remained firm, her leg barreling into his side in order for Dazai's muscles to jump and his finger to loosen from the trigger just as she pulled it into her line of sight.

And once the cool metal was in her hands, Dazai wondered what she’d do with it, his senses on high alert only to watch the girl simply empty out the chamber of bullets with one hand, the quiet clinking of metal catching his attention immediately.

How dare she, she had the shot and didn’t take it.

Unsatisfied by her actions, the mafioso then darkened before the boy predicted her next strike in order to grab onto her fist roughly and twist it unnaturally behind her back with a huff.

No, she needed to know that she wasn’t as sly as she thought. That he was onto her little game. “Since you’re all riled up, does that mean you’ll stop holding back now too?”

He wondered how she would react to that, if she would lie about his little discovery or own up to her hypocrisy wholeheartedly? Either could be possible, considering she hadn’t disclosed to him outwardly about her watered down battles.

Asagao told him herself back in Bar Lupin that she was a prodigy just like him, that she could murder like a high level assassin and kill with the quickest of hands.

But if that was true then why hadn’t she tried that with him yet? Why hadn’t Asa displayed intent to kill with Dazai if she was so strongly in favor for believable fights?

It didn’t make sense, and he wanted to know why.

And for a moment, she felt her body still underneath his rough touch, as if she really had to think about his words. He seemed to have broken into something personal for her.

Interesting, she wasn’t denying it. But hold on, was she saying that he couldn’t handle her full hellhound side? That he was some kind of fragile little boy who wouldn't stand a chance? Did she forget that he was in the mafia, the youngest executive in the history of the organization?

She didn’t need to worry about such a thing, besides if that was the result Dazai knew he wouldn’t have opposed. So instead, he coaxed her some more. “Come on, Asa-channn. You’re no fair. I wanna die, remember?”

But even still, Asagao didn’t seem convinced, her body unmoving and eyes closing before he felt her physically shiver underneath his touch, almost like she was reliving some kind of unpleasant memory.

Something scared her, enough to cause such a visceral reaction.

Then Dazai watched as Asagao’s head slumped down into herself, her voice strained and bitter, a tone that the boy had never heard from her before. “I don’t kill anymore, I don’t want to be that person again..

Those words, they felt big, like a massive weight had just fallen on both of their shoulders. But why? What did they mean? What kind of person was she when she killed? What was she like when she truly allowed the hellhound side to fully overtake her? He wanted to ask her.

Yet before he could process that sentence, Asa used his apprehension in order to kick his shin and shift her body around, grabbing onto his forearm before flipping the skinny thin boy backwards over her shoulder.

Feeling his body slam against the ground, the girl then moved on top of him, reversing their previous position with a wave of her finger. “Besides that would be a pretty painful way to go, don’t you think?.”

His entire head began to spin instantly, both from the hit and from her change in attitude. Now she was happy, playful and just as carefree as before. There was no sign of that bitter suffocation that he had heard at all.

Which meant only one thing, she was covering it up.

But to be completely honest, every single thought he had seemed to drown out completely as he looked up at the towering force above him.

Her long messy hair was blanketed over her, shielding the two of them in a cave of her own design as she stared down with that same alluring dead eyed stare that he had admired before.

And not only that, the dim, dingy warehouse lights behind her seemed to melt around her head, bathing her in an ethereal light of some kind, something that made the boy’s heart flip unexpectedly and without warning.

God, she looked like an angel like this, so perfect, so heavenly.

Yet whether she resembled an angel of life or death was to be decided. Perhaps this was a sign from some unknown force, telling him that Oda Asagao would either be the beginning or the end of him.

Perhaps she would be the last thing he would see before leaving this world peacefully or perhaps she would carry him to the afterlife and into the pits of hell with her siren song and her dangerous words. He didn’t know.

He was playing with fire after all, selfish by staying by her side even though he shouldn’t have been allowed to. He was clouding her white light, binding her wings and making her fall to meet his level just because he couldn’t bear to be lonely.

How cruel he truly was, to not have the heart to set her free. It was too late now, the demon and the fallen angel, their fates had been sealed whether he liked it or not.

Reaching his fingers up, Dazai then ghosted across a strand of her falling hair before turning his head in curiosity. “Touché. Well, since you know so much let me ask you, love. What do you think is the most beautiful way to die?”

He wanted to know her answer, more than anyone before. Because he knew that she would answer honestly. She wouldn’t brush it off or disregard the meaning like everyone else.

Dying was a touchy subject it seemed, because although the boy craved it more than anything, it seemed whenever he brought up his little sad goal, no one ever gave him the answer he was looking for.

He didn’t want to be comforted or to hear that there was no beautiful way of death. No, he wanted perspective, real and true perspective. To see what constituted beauty for others, what that meant in terms of what he was searching for.

Because as much as he wished for peace and beauty in death, the boy didn’t know exactly what that meant. How strange it always was, searching for something so desperately even though he didn’t know the true extent of the meaning.

Waiting with bated breath, Dazai allowed her to silently think before the girl put a finger with a quiet and pensive hum. ““Hmmm, that’s a tough one..”

Then she closed her eyes before her lips curved into a confident beam of light. “I guess I would have to say a lovers suicide!”

And that light was blinding, mixing in with the makeshift halo behind her in order for Dazai to turn his head in confusion.He had never thought about that before. Hell, he didn’t even know the term. How curious. “Lovers suicide?”

Nodding to herself, Asa then lifted her pinky finger out in explanation. “Yeah, like a double suicide, you know? Because even if you deemed that the world was awful, you would still have to admit that there was at least one person that made the experience worth it, enough to want to follow them all the way to the afterlife.”

Then to prove her point, the girl simply reached down before interlocked Dazai’s pinky finger with her own, a small smile of her lips as the boy gazed at the sight in awestruck wonder.

Of course she would say something like that. Only Asagao could answer a question about death so hopefully and tragically captivating. Her desire to see the good, to twist the narrative into a positive one, they were extremely prevalent here.

But for once, Dazai didn’t mind it, he liked the idea of having someone to die with. The thought had never crossed his mind before, to have someone to treasure you enough to want to follow you until the very end. It sounded nice. Almost beautiful even, just like he wanted.

Testing out the words on his tongue, the boy whispered. “A double suicide..”

Nodding once, Asa pulled their interlocked pinkies towards her heart in reply. “Yeah! It’s romantically tragic in its own right, don’t you think?”

It was, it really was. In fact, it was so tragically perfect that Dazai knew he would’ve never had thought of such a thing himself. Simply because he wouldn't have allowed himself to think of something so nice and positive.

But now that it was spoken into the world, it couldn’t be forgotten. “I’ve never thought about that before. Do you really think someone would want to do that with me?”

Could it be, could someone really dedicate themselves to him to that extent, enough to give up everything, to walk hand and hand with him to the end of the line? No, that was impossible, no one wanted him, especially in that way.

Asa only shrugged her shoulders though. “You never know! Doesn’t hurt to ask.”

Then all at once, clarity seemed to flash in his eyes. “You’re right..”

That’s it, he just had to ask every woman he saw, then maybe one day he’d get lucky.

Reaching forward, Dazai then shifted his hands in order to grasp onto her wrist before meeting her eyes with a hopeful smile. “Hey Asa-chan! Do you wanna..”

Yet Asagao seemed to already know where he was going with his question, her hand immediately unlatching from his in order to playfully shove her palm into his face and push him back onto the ground. “Sorry Osu, I would do a lot of things for you but killing myself won’t bring me closer to my brother. The only death I’ll accept is one by your hand.”

Damn it, she had said that before, hadn’t she? Ah well, worth a shot.

Throwing his arms out with a child-ish whine, Dazai then pouted his lips at the rejection. “Boo, you give me such a good idea and then turn me down? That’s not very nice. I’m sad now.”

Asagao only laughed though, her tiny giggles taking up the space of his question before pointing a finger out in an offer of her own. “Well, we can’t have that. Oh, I know. How about we stop by the shop on the way home and I’ll buy you some canned crab to make up for it?”

And although it wasn’t what he wanted, her offer enticed him just as much, the boy’s eyes sparkling with pure joy in order to nod his head excitedly.

“Deal!”

——

Stepping through the door of Odasaku’s apartment, Asagao happily turned on the light, the plastic bag full of canned crab clinking together as she moved, only for Dazai to quickly take off his black mafia jacket and throw it on the ground.

And in the past couple weeks of them reuniting, the girl noticed Osamu's childish traits more and more, an action that made her strangely happy. Sure, she still wasn’t sure if he was being completely authentic but she couldn't deny that he at least looked more free when he did them.

In fact, their relationship had grown exponentially since the night Asa cared for him and took off his bandages. She was worried that by pushing that much she would’ve scared him away but it seemed to be the opposite, and for that she was grateful.

Now he came over whenever he pleased, without excuse, and without worry. She would make sure he ate and they would watch TV together and sometimes they would go out to spar like tonight. If anything, the two had definitely moved past the term strangers and into more of a friendship based relationship.

They understood each other, most of the time without words, and that was refreshing to both of them, considering no one else could do such an impossible thing. They were alike and yet so different depending on the circumstance. It was almost fascinating to think about.

She had never had that before, someone that understood so much with so little.

And where most people would call it invasive, Asagao saw his nosey and deductive attitude as a marvel. Although, she wasn’t sure if he felt the same way, considering she stepped out of boundaries before.

But those days seemed long gone as the girl turned back to Osamu only to pause when she noticed discolored tan stains on the bandages around his arms. Well, that was weird.

Reaching her hand up, Asagao then lightly touched his forearm, careful to keep her touch on the gauze as she inspected the source. “What is this?”

Although all she received was a boy-ish smile, filled with fake innocence. “Coffee?”

Almost immediately, something about his sentence seemed off, causing Asa to cock an eye with suspicion. “I didn’t even know you drank coffee..”

Then all at once, the boy nodded his head erratically, his lips moving at a mile a minute in order to give an over the top laugh. “Oh, yeah! I love it, I can’t get enough of it. That’s why I spilled some on me this morning. Oops, I’m so clumsy, aren’t I? Didn’t even notice it till now.”

Pouting his lips all at once, Dazai then whined to himself dramatically. “But now that you mention it, it feels really gross, like super uncomfortable. Asa-chan, you gotta save me! I don't know how I can go on like this..!”

His story was strange, considering she had never heard him speak about liking coffee before, nor did he ever choose that as his drink of choice. Usually it was just whiskey and any other alcohol he could get his hands on.

And what Asagao didn’t know was that she was completely right. In fact, Dazai had never touched the stuff before this morning. He didn’t love coffee, but the reason he had bathed himself in it was purposeful.

You see, ever since the first night Asagao changed his bandages, Dazai couldn’t get enough. He wanted that feeling back, the one that made him feel so safe and cared for. He couldn’t get it out of his head, and trust me, he had tried.

Which led him to taking matters into his own hands, aka finding ways to dirty his bandages so that he would have an excuse to give Asagao the next time he saw her.

At first it started with blood, making sure to purposely hurt his enemies in the most messy way possible in order to soil the white gauze, but then it moved to other things such as alcohol, and rolling around in dirt or dunking himself in nearby rivers.

And today’s plan involved coffee. He had gotten the idea when he saw one of his subordinates walk around the corner with one. So naturally, he ordered the guy to give it up in order to pour the lukewarm liquid on his arms with delightful glee.

Anything to get Asa to touch him like that again, to feel so important and special again. Was it underhanded? Possibly, but the boy knew he couldn’t just come out and ask for such an embarrassing thing.

Staying silent for a moment, he then watched as Asagao seemed to turn his wrist, examining the sight before she let him go with a smile. “I’ll go get the bandages. Meet you on the couch.”

And just like that, he had won yet again, causing the boy to practically skip to the plush cushions of the sofa, unable to hide his delight in song as he watched her go into Oda’s bedroom to receive the first aid kit. “Yay! Asa-chan is gonna help me, she’s gonna help me, yeah! Asa-chan is the best, she’s the very best, yeah!”

Once she turned the corner though, Asagao couldn’t help but close her eyes, already sensing his deceptive demeanor. No one spilled things that clumsily, especially Dazai. Which meant that it was for a purpose.

But because his actions didn’t seem self destructive, the girl chose to ignore them. It’s not like she minded changing out his bandages time and time again. In fact, she loved doing it, it made her feel closer to him.

Returning to the sofa, Asagao then placed herself beside him before placing the gauze on the table only for Dazai to immediately loosen his port mafia tie from his neck with one hand. “Lean closer, darling.”

So she did, the girl pushed her head closer to him so that he could slip off her glasses before unraveling the tie as she averted her gaze from his in silent wait.

Back in the warehouse she may have been able to look at him without her blurry barriers but now that she wasn’t distracted by the fight everything seemed way harder. She still couldn’t look at him head on like this, no matter how much she tried.

Dazai didn’t seem to mind though, his fingers only focused on securing the black tie around her eyes and into a firm knot as Asagao felt herself let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.

So much better.

Then once her view was obstructed, Dazai couldn’t help but soften at the sight of her instant compliance each and every time.

He loved how she never protested to such a strange request, how she never judged him for not being able to do this without the blindfold. No, she knew that he needed this to continue and Dazai was grateful for that.

Once it was done, Asagao moved her fingers towards the coffee stained coverings before slowly undoing each bind as Dazai felt his breath hitch inside his throat at the emotionally intimate contact.

And even though they had done this exchange about a dozen times, each one felt like the very first. It never got easier, it never made his ears stop ringing and his skin stop shivering.

But like some psychotic masochistic man, Dazai never pulled away, his eyes always entranced with her careful and respectful moves, each calculated, each with a certain intent.

He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it, the way she cherished him.

Because as scary as it was, her gentle non judgemental fingers gave him a sense of calm along with the chaos. They terrified him and yet they always soothed him in every kind of mitch matched way.

They reached down to the deepest part of his soul, the one he didn’t know existed and embraced it in a warm and welcoming hug. And though the warmth was uncomfortable and foreign, he didn’t outright hate it anymore.

In fact it was quite the opposite, the boy wanted to run to it, he wanted to jump head first into that dangerous and vulnerable place and never return. He was addicted in every possible way, addicted to the idea of being held by her forever.

This was all her fault, how could she? Making him experience such a life changing feeling, he knew this would happen, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to resist this once he had it. How dare she, how dare she make him feel such weak and fragile emotions again.

How dare she coax him into thinking he deserved such a wonderful experience like this?

Those thoughts made him want to be protected by her hands forever, and with the low murmur of the TV in the background and the sickeningly sweet sound of Asagao’s hum to break through the noise, Osamu did feel exactly that.

Protected.

Slowly and without words, Asagao then hummed to herself in order to wrap the fresh clean bandages around his arms before securing the sight and pulling down her blindfold. “Do you feel better now?”

He simply nodded, still in a daze as Asagao smiled softly in return before replacing her glasses. “Good, I’m glad.”

A soft silence appeared then as the two kids allowed it to fill the room in order to turn their attention to the screen that was playing the latest anime episode of the show that they had been interested in lately.

This was nice, just being with him, relaxing without a care in the world. It made the foreign walls of her brother���s apartment feel more personal and belonging. Hopefully it was the same for Osamu also.

Just then, the sounds from the TV snapped her back to reality, watching as the the main character clapped excitedly as the room around her revealed her friends and family, all of them wishing her a happy birthday in joyish surprise. Aw, how cute. They planned all that out for her.

The sight couldn’t help make Asagao pause though, realizing something almost immediately. “Hey, Samu. Now that I think about it, when is your birthday? My brother never said in his letters and I’ve always been curious.”

Yet that’s when she watched Dazai pause, his voice rather dead and monotone, as if he was mentally waving the question away. “Oh, it was five months ago.”

Feeling her face fell in horror, Asa shook her head in denial. “W-Wait..I missed it..?”

No, that couldn’t be. That meant that during the time they were apart he celebrated his birthday by himself? How sad. No one even knew and he just let it pass like nothing, didn’t he?

Wait. That meant that Dazai was now sixteen, didn't it? She didn’t even realize.

It didn’t matter that he never mentioned it until now, how could possibly let such a thing pass so quietly without a word? Now she felt awful. “Oh no, I’m so sorry Samu! What kind of fake girlfriend am I? I didn’t even say happy birthday to you. What is wrong with me, I should've asked sooner, I should’ve..”

Yet the boy only cut her off though, his tone clearly dismissive. “Don’t worry about it. Celebrating life is stupid anyways.”

But how could she not worry about it? That was an impossible task, one that she knew she couldn't complete “B-But..I..”

Dazai only pushed a finger to her lips though, stopping any sense of self hatred she was about to utter before shaking his head.“I already said don’t worry your pretty little head, love. Now, stop that frown or else you’ll turn ugly like Chuuya.”

Then the boy simply smiled before flopping his head onto her lap comfortably in order to turn towards the TV and ignore the conversation completely. “Now, shush, pillows aren’t supposed to be noisy.”

And when the air turned silent once more, it was far more solemn as Asagao absently moved her hand to his hair with an unsatisfied sigh.

But for Dazai, the topic had already left his mind as the soothing feeling of her hand on his hair caused his eyes to grow heavier and heavier with bliss, immediately getting lost in the soft caresses and lulling touch.

How could he think about anything when her magic had already utterly captivated him?

Feeling Osamu’s head sink further into the safety of her lap, Asagao felt her eyes soften at the sleeping boy before thinking back to her previous question.

And though Dazai seemed to forget about it, she could not, his sad little words consuming her mind all at once.

Celebrating life is stupid anyways

Closing her eyes with dissatisfaction, Asagao then shook her head, not liking the implications of his words as she wished to change them even so.

And she would change them, she had to.

“But it’s not just any life, it’s your life. ”

[black-mambaaaa]

Rating the Songs of the Big Time Rush 'Another Life's Album.

Can't Get Enough

Chef's kiss

It's got like this funky kinda retro sound to it that I absolutely adore.

Has big og Big Time Rush vibes

I'm love, the 'ahs' give me chills every time.

9/10

Waves

This first time I heard this song I was blown away

This new sound they have going is so good

I adore their voices

No notes

10/10

I Just Want To (Party All the Time)

Has a very good beat and fun chorus.

They definitely sound like they partying, but not sure they're partying as hard as Party Rock 🤔

It's very catchy

The saxophone part gives me old tv show theme song vibes (maybe I'm thinking full house) and it makes me feel good so I like it.

8/10

Weekends

Okay so I'm biased cause I'm a slit for songs that are bumping but sad

Casually obsessed with this one, but only casually.

The lyrics are really clever and I'm still feeling over 'every word I ate made my stomach ache' well played

The chorus is so good

I feel this song on a deep level because too many similar experiences (platonically of course)

11/10

Work For It

I don't hate it

It's not my favorite though

The beat is very good, but I'm not gonna lie the chorus reminds me of a lot of Maroon 5 songs (not that that's a bad thing I like Maroon 5, fight me)

I could absolutely get down to this song on the dance floor (not the bedroom you weirdo I'm ace 🙄)

7/10

Forget You Now

I love Big Time Rush so much it's hard for me to give them a low ranking.

That being said the beginning of this song reminds me of the beginning of that one song about the body shop (I think it's called unholy or something like that)

The chorus is what grabbed my attention.

You spin my head right round baby right round

It's definitely not my favorite, but they really know how to get vibes going

The part where you hear them kinda echoing 'i can't forget you' is very haunting in the best kind of way

I wish Logan would've gone a little higher on that note he held out, but also idk his range

7/10

Brand New

No words.

This song has put me on the verge of tears (can't actually show weakness and cry 🥲)

It hit me on such a personal level that you could literally hate this song and I'd just 🤷‍♀️

If you hate this one you have no heart.

Holy shit they somehow took their normal love songs and made it HURT.

Their harmonies alone in this song killed me dead

Carlos, Logan, James, and Kendall's voices all blend together so well

I have not stopped listening to this song on repeat and self inflicting that good hurty

14/10

Ask You Tonight

This song is furthest from my liking not gonna lie, but I absolutely will still listen to it

This song is one you'd hear in a Hallmark movie

As a wedding photographer, this is a song people are going to dance to at their weddings

It's still very good

I literally cannot score these bois low

James hitting them notes always sucks me in help

I love that they can go from bumpin to soft and sweet

7/10

Superstitious

Help me

I keep getting a mixture of this one and Weekends stuck in my head

At first I wasn't sure I liked it, but it grew on me and is now in my top 4

The chorus is cute and fun

I too am not superstitious but I could be for those four 😘

It's another soft bop

I'm a slut for that soft electronic pop sound so this song automatically Ranks

They really did pour their magic on me with this one

10/10

Another Life

These boys have really really captured the hurty vibes with this album

The echoing sound it's got echoes in my soul, can you hear it?

Again, this one hit kind of close to home for me

I love how much we hear their individual voices, because they all sing like angels.

No notes

No thoughts head empty (except for this song)

The heart beat at the end was a little jarring at first but it's grown on me

12/10

Sorry if you disagree with my rankings, but if you don't like them, rank them yourself you don't need someone else to tell you how things rank for yourself. Anyways I adore Big Time Rush and have not stopped listening to this album, it has hardcore invaded my brain.

[faceglitchsworld]

It's the 5th of February here...you know what that means.

It's Terr-I mean Taehyun's birthday, wohoo!

As always, I've made a collage for him ☺️

Ok, just for clarification, I needed to take a screenshot from his Sugar Rush Ride fancam. Why? Because I needed a picture of him sleeveless. You need to admire his muscles, the boy works out and you need to see the muscles 😤

The selcas on the middle are my favourite of him honestly, he gives such ✨ S W A G ✨ energy, I couldn't not put them.

Enough with the explanation, it's time for the emotional part (there's a language switch here, I'm sorry).

Taehyun is really important to me, especially for this blog's history. I still remember how I was spending the night reblogging birthday content for him when, out of the sudden, I thought: "Wait, isn't it too boring? It's his birthday and I'm just adding the usual tags..."

I kept scrolling until I found another birthday gifset dedicated to him. I don't remember exactly which gifset was, I just remember that I went completely in AWWW mode and I screamed "Ah ma che patato che è". That moment was like an epiphany for me, I really started to use that word more and more just for him. And then that word became his personal tag. Yup, his personal tag, my first personal tag, was born on his day. What a coincidence, uh? Since then, if I have enough fantasy, I always give a personal tag for every member of every group that I stan (I'm crazy, I know perfectly, don't worry).

So, yeah, if my blog has become even more "personal" for me, tagging wise, it's thanks to Taehyun.

Of course this is not the only reason why I love him. I don't know if it's just me but I noticed that Tae has a very special duality. Tae seems the most mature and chill member if you just watch a couple of TxT videos. A little savage, sure, but it seems the more mature, the voice of reason sometimes. But then you dive a little more deeper and you discover that, at the end of the day, he also loves bring chaos like the rest of the maknae line. He just has his way of being chaotic. I'll always remember the To Do episode where TxT were doing the Police Playbook and Tae did that magic trick with the pen out of the sudden. I'm still laughing about it. It's this duality that makes me love him even more.

I can't talk about Taehyun without mentioning my love for his voice. When I discovered TxT and I started to listen to their discography, Taehyun was the first vocalist I immediately recognized. Probably I should thanks his highnotes but, uhm...I don't think I just love him for that. I love the way he modulate his voice for every song. He immediately understands which song he's singing and he makes sure you can feel the right emotion while singing it. He's singing an happy and upbeat song? He makes sure to put a smile on your face while singing it. A sad and emotional song? You'll surely cry thanks to him. You get it. Singing is his way of "acting" for me. He knows how to communicate a certain feeling and, like a real actor, he makes sure you'll feel those emotions. And I love him for this.

Dear Taehyun, I don't have enough love words for your day. I only wish for you to never stop being curious. Trying new things and challenges has always been one of the best trait of yours and you demonstrated this with the last album too. Knowing how much work and energy you put every time, new challenges will be a new occasion to show to us more sides of you and I can't wait to see them. Don't worry about the result. Even when it's not perfect, MOAs will always appreciate your effort and your courage to try something new.

Hope you'll celebrate this day happily with the members and your family too, you deserve it.

Happy Birthday Taehyun 🐿️

[a-tale-never-told]

The Nurse and the Musician Part 1.

You see, I'm not the best at explaining serious stuff like this, ya know? But I will try my hardest to explain how we met. You see, I met Mikan when she was four and when I was five...

"Flashback"

Oh, Ah, ah, ah! That's the real juicy goods right there!

*Five-year-old Ibuki Mioda was moving around a whole lot in her backyard, listening to the Elvis Presley song "Jailhouse Rock". As she shouts, she sways back and forth, proceeding to make a rock sign with her fingers*.

Now isn't that what I would like to call pure rock or what?

???: "sniffing" Hic! Hnnh...

!

*Ibuki turns her head around as she starts to hear someone crying. Standing only a few meters on the sidewalk was a girl with a pink dress, looking all torn and beat, with tears in her eyes*

"sniffs" Ah... "sniffs" hnngh...

(Man... she looks so bummed out. For what, I don't know but it can't be good... guess it's time for me to play the hero)

*With that, Ibuki moves , opens the gate of the yard, and proceeds to head to where Mikan is sitting on the left*

Hey there, are you okay?

"Stops crying" Hnngh... H-huh? W-who are you?

It's okay sweetie. I'm Ibuki Mioda, I won't hurt you. Just tell me what's bothering you, if you feel comfortable that is.

!?

M-my mother died

I'm sorry, what was that?

M- My mother died.

Oh.... God, I... I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry.

D-don't be! My mother was a horrible scumbag of a woman, a true monster at her core. She didn't care for me at all! Honestly, I'm glad that witch is out of my life for good, and that stomach cancer got to her.

That's pretty harsh, ya know.

If you knew how badly that despicable woman treated me, you would have a different thought. B-but that's a topic for another time.

B-but what I'm sad about is where do I go now. As much as I hate her, she was my mother after all. D-dad is... gone for a long time now. And now Mom is too, so who do I have left to turn? I'm scared of going into an orphanage. I-I have heard ghost stories about what they do to you in those places, how you have to suffer a lot in there, I- it's just truly terrifying to think about.

No, I get it. Honestly, you don't deserve any of this at all. I can understand how you can feel like that, to feel all alone with no one left to care about you in the world, to feel like you will be all alone...

But that's not going to happen to you, you hear me? I am NOT going to let you live your life like this! I'm going to make sure you enjoy the rest of your days happy and joyful, to live life to the fullest, because that's what life's all about, isn't it?

B-but how are you going to do all of that?

I'll find a way, don't worry about it. In the meantime, you can stay in the backyard with me if you want. I'll talk to Mommy and Daddy to let you stay here. As of now, consider yourself welcome here.

"Starts to tear up" T-thank you! I-I don't know what to say.

Don't mention it. By the way, I never got your name though.

Mikan. M-mikan tsumiki.

That sounds hella adorable. Oh! Wait right here, I'll be back.

"End of flashback"

I eventually went inside to tell Mom and Dad about Mikan. Once I told them, they asked to bring her in here, and so I did. They were pretty much shocked at how Mikan looked at first glance and so they tried to help her with anything she needed. It wasn't untill Mikan was all cleaned up that she explained what happened.

Once she finished, Mom and Dad went to the room to talk about it, and then they decided to act. I was way too young to understand what was going on, but they eventually went to the court or something like that, I dunno how laws like this work. It was a long time, weeks, months even, almost a whole year. But eventually, I got the greatest news in my life, and I went to tell it to Mikan.

"Flashback"

Mikan! Mikan! I have super duper great news to tell you!

What is it?

[two-bit-socrates]

PhilosophyTube

LISTEN i am incredibly fucking high right now because of allergies and thc so what im about to copy paste is to save time on rewriting was what written. I wrote it to my queer platonic partner and the context only makes sense to them.

But

I'm hash tagging for miss tube because of her videos and how they helped shaped the thought process. I think it's too big of text for the ask box so ill put it here cause I can't be shamed in a way that matters

TThanks @theabigailthorn

I had a duh ah ha moment The song 'Ill follow you in to the dark' is the closest I have come to understanding what is love. But I misunderstood the lyrics but now I understand love.

The nun said fear is the heart of love so he never went back. It means he didn't fear god but he feared losing her if he went somewhere she couldn't go including heaven. It's not romantic bravado but the simple truth. I sure as shit wouldn't go to heaven if you couldn't go - I'll follow you into the dark. That's how I understand love. That's how I love you and everyone else who couldn't get into this perverted christians heaven. Course I believe in abolishing borders id tear down the gates of heaven and the walls of hell and let us hold each other accountable without judgment and we work on how we can help each other and meets each other's needs in spite of a higher power setting us up against each other to reap his idea of the cream of the crop. This is why I am am anarchist in that this my idea of anarchism and what I aim to practice through radical compassion. But it requires much self reflection and navel gazing and hippie vibes. But to always need to stop and take some time to think. Think about whats important to you. But yea it means learning to love people you hate but not having to like them or not like parts of them. That means learning to love scott and trisha enough to fight for their needs but not having fuck all to do with them. I hope I never have to see them again but ill reject a thousand gated heavens so the people of hell can take the love and care they should of had to begin with that would of kept them out of hell in the first place.

Sautre was wrong. Hell is not other people. Hell is a god who would set you up and your fellow people up to impossible standards in order to condemn us all in the first place.

This is part of what I'm exploring through the Archivist in the play by post as I also use this to reflect on my ideals.

Im sad to report that my idea of anarchism makes me sound like a wank but I love me now so I don't care.

[having-conniptions]

KinnPorsche ep 9 Rewatch Rambles:

Ah yeah Tawan's aiming straight for Kinn's soft spot right from the start, he knows how to get to him... manipulative little shit, he deserved to be tricked by Vegas in the same way tbh - gotta love the irony on that one huh

Why he gotta be so handsome tho I feel conflicted

Bruh no one's gonna buy your sad puppy face even after u got poisoned (says the person who totally fell for his sad puppy face the first time around)

Tankhun is the most sensible one for sure

"I was Mr. Kinn's closest guard when he and Tawan were dating" POOR BIG I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM

Kinda impressed by Tawan knowing exactly how the conversation is going tho lol

Kimmmmmmmmmmmm aaaaaaaaa he can't get Chay's song out of his head and he's even hearing the backing vocals, instrumentals etc

I love how Arm is the only one to notice there's something going on between Porsche and Kinn lmao

Ohhhhhhhh Kinn is sending Pete to keep an eye on Vegas HERE WE GOOOOO

Tawan's food looks good

Tawan and Kinn have no business being this cute OKAY LISTEN I know they're both faking and trying to trick each other into thinking they still have feelings for each other BUT WHAT WAS THE REASON

"You have a meeting, don't you, Mr. Kinn?" "What meeting?" *taps forehead* "Think." LMAO I CAN'T WITH THESE IDIOTS

Tawan is such a cocky bastard, always emphasizing how he knows Kinn and his family and the house and the food and-

Tankhun honey you're so right

Yok just immediately knows everything huh

"Do you think I should make him jealous?" "No!" Gawd I'm so glad we've got you, Yok

I know that the scene where Porsche slides into frame wearing only socks, undies and a shirt is a movie reference but I keep forgetting what movie this iconic scene first appeared in lol

Kinn in his silky PJs aaaahhhhh

I don't have the words to express my respect for Apo for being an amazing actor and portraying a character that can't act for shit lmao Porsche how is Kinn even buying that

The way he poses but makes sure to cough bc "oh yeah I'm pretending to be sick, right"

OKAY BUT PORSCHE PRETTY MUCH GRABBING KINN BY THE NECK AND YEETING HIM INTO THE SOFA what was the reason WHAT WAS THE REASON (other than reminding people that bottom does not mean submissive)

I mean yeah Yok said take charge but BOYYYY

Drunk Pete owns my entire heart

Kinn: *emerges from under the covers* Porsche: *fixes Kinn's hair* why do I feel like that was Apo trying to fix it so the stylist wouldn't get mad lmao

Pete. I love you but NOT NOW. GO TO SLEEP.

The little timelapse lmao

"You couldn't sleep either huh Porsche?" Nah he just got done banging your ex

Porsche's like "mmm sweet victory"

Oh Pete and Vegas at the temple ayyyy let's go

"Don't let them know we're watching" uh yeah too late lol

I WANT THE SHIRT VEGAS IS WEARING also isn't that the same shirt he wears later when he puts his fully clothed legs in the fucking pool?

I had to pause just to look for a Vegas' necklace or at least a dupe - haven't found one yet

Lmao @ Vegas flirting and Pete not knowing how to react

The little post-it omg

Bro why is Tawan so fine I hate this

Arm is an actual genius

And also adorable and a supportive bestie aaaaa I love him

Why is Tawan always showering lmao

GET THIS MAN SOME CLOTHES

And also a mask, if I have to see his goddamn dimples one more time I will stop caring that he's a dirty traitor and I don't like him

...fuck.

Awww Chay's making the guitar pick 🥺❤️

Ah. There's Vegas visiting Porsche at the pool with some wine. Literally forgot that that happened in this episode but that explains why he's wearing the same shirt

Wet rag of a man

I still don't believe he's just trying to get close to Porsche in order to manipulate him, sure that too but I think he also does kinda like him - not in the way that he's pretending to but I think they really could have been good real friends

Now Porsche hears Kinn agreeing to getting the evidence with Tawan but the reason why Kinn does that is because he saw Porsche chilling with Vegas WHY CAN'T YOU TWO COMMUNICATE FOR ONCE

The way Tawan finds the USB stick but keeps "feeling" for it just so he has an excuse to reach further under the bed and lean into Kinn's crotch BOO YOU WHORE

Lmao Porsche falling into Kinn's arms

MAYBE IF YOU GUYS HAD COMMUNICATED- u know what I give up

Oooooof the angssssssttttt

Kinn having to pretend he actually doesn't trust Porsche

Porsche 100% believing it

Oh great KimChay is here to break my heart even more AAAAAHHHH THEIR SMIIIILESSSSSS

Tawan and his warm milk istg

Tankhun the world needs more of your wisdom

"Run away with me, Porsche" nah Porsche belongs with Kinn BUT I'LL COME WITH YOU

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 19th December

Well, it's still party season! Both of today's tracks are upbeat, cheery numbers, and thankfully, for me at least, neither of them are Christmas songs - just some solid, chipper pop bops.

Alone - Petula Clark (peaked at Number 8)

The title of this song looks like it ought to be sad, and honestly, if you just looked at the lyrics, you would be forgiven for assuming that you were looking at an angsty "how could it have gone wrong?" break-up ballad, with Petula starting the song singing Alone / Why must I be alone? / I've spent so many hours with you / How can I be alone?

Except, I mean... listen to it! The lyrics speak of heartbreak and loneliness, but from the get go you've got a pacy bit of guitar backing, those very distinctive and very vintage la la la laa la la la ya ya ya ya ya backing vocals, and a performance, from Petula, that honestly doesn't sound too bothered by the whole thing. So yes, this is indeed a break-up song, but it's maybe the least concerned break-up song ever. The tone throughout is thus pretty optimistic, with Petula reminding her love that There's such a thing as forgiving / So why can't you forgive? / There's such a thing as forgetting / So can't you forgive and forget?

It's an interesting vibe - reading into it, you get the impression, with the insistence on forgiving and forgetting, that whatever drove Petula and her love apart, it was kind of her fault? Except there's absolutely no angsting about that, or grovelling and apologies. It's not that kind of song, right? And so Petula's just there, with her apparently bulletproof self-confidence, making the case for getting back together. Not because she's sorry or anything, just because they were good together, and wouldn't it be better to not be alone, any more.

The whole thing is pretty cheesy, but it does put you in a good mood. And those backing vocals are really something - they kind of have to be heard to be believed. I love the enthusiasm that they're clearly throwing at every ya ya ya ya ya!

Reet Petite - Jackie Wilson (6)

Well, if Petula turned up this week ready to party, Jackie rocked up mid-party and immediately cranked the volume on the jukebox. The energy in this song is infectious, just really fast and fun, a rocking R&B number about just how how Jackie's girl is, all of it dressed up in these ridiculous vocal trills and tricks.

In amongst it all, there's some pretty cute stuff about how this girl is really sweet / The finest girl you ever wanna meet, or about how she's got what it takes / And with me she really rates. She's my cutie, my tutti-frutti / My heart, my love, my bathing beauty. So yeah, she's smoking hot, but also just really sweet. Cute stuff, Mr Wilson!

But yeah, like I said, the main attraction is less the lyrics and more the way that Jackie performs them. Because Jackie Wilson is a performer, my goodness. From the rolled r as he sings about rrrrrrrrrrreet petite, to the repeated ooh ah, ooh ah, to the lines about how his girl is just fi-yi-yi-yi-yiiiine, Jackie's pulling out all the vocal stops to keep the listeners on their toes. Whatever this song is, he seems to be saying, it is not going to be boring.

All that also gives us my favourite bit of the song, the repeated bit where Jackie does this oh, oh, oh, oh riff and then a trombone comes jumping in to echo it. It's just a cool instance of singer and musicians bouncing off each other and interacting, and I like it a lot.

In terms of chart performance, this song has an interesting history - it made number 6 here, in 1957, but we're actually going to see it again in 1986, when it makes a surprise comeback, with a claymation music video. More on that if we get to 1986, but I'll just say, that between the style of the song itself and the style of the music video, I'm seeing more than a little influence on Paolo Nutini's Pencil Full of Lead. And I bet there are other songs that try and harness this same energy - it's just too good not to try and rip off!

I enjoyed both of today's songs. Both songs I could see doing well at a Christmas party, both kind of goofy, and making good use of silly vocal noises. One has that American gloss, though, and just a slightly more intense energy - I'm hardly surprised that it managed a comeback, you know?

Favourite song of the bunch: Reet Petite

[zerobaseonefics]

Ok so I think I confused TWICE's "Feel Special" with another song that I thought was a happy song but was actually a sad song. "Feel Special" is about feeling insignificant but then finding your purpose, which makes more sense in my head. I keep hearing "you made me feel special" which is why I probably thought it was sad song.

Also, please explain why I'm Yujin and Taerae (while you're at it) s'il vous plaît.

I also read your answer to someone asking if you are friends irl that like kpop...twice to make sure I was reading it right.

i have none but it's really by choice ‼️ not to sound like a bully but i'm sorry some ppl of the community aRE SO WEIRD??????

You are right. There's weird people in the community. I think it's every community in my opinion.

like everytime i communicate with one irl they are scary asf. i remember in 11th grade there was this girl who wrote me a love letter asking me to be the hyuna to her dawn like 💀💀

DSKGHIUSG--

she also took a picture of me to whitewash me cuz she said i don't look asian enough when i told her i'm half viet 👹

OKAY that's so rude of her WTF? Also, I think I'm illiterate (?) but when do you mean by whitewash? Which definition is it?

"to intentionally hide some kind of wrongdoing, error, or unpleasant situation"

"to describe a minority who has assimilated with western society"

...neither? both?? Either I'm soooo sorry to hear you experienced that.

and they just talk about nothing else then kpop i just can't do that shit

Ah yeah, so scary. There was this girl in my second year of uni (another word for "college") and all she would talked to me was BTS or if I could help her with her school assignments (reasons she didn't do it was also BTS related 💀).

Personally I do know people who like listening to KPOP but don't talk about it 24/7 and no intense fans for me loool.

---

Have a lovely day, venom 😌

OH DAMN bro you got me confused asf i was like since when was this a break up song??? how did i never understand that?? your confusion was legit tho i understand how you got it twisted 😭

my explaination for the taerae/yujin vibes ‼️ despite being an extrovert, i sometimes feel like yujin is..... confused abt things lIKEBDBSJS HE JUST SEEMS AKWARD IN SOME SITUATION AND I FEEL LIKE IT'S ALSO YOUR CASE. for taerae, well first it's obvious i'd think about him for you because of your username... but apart from this, even if there's this joke about taerae and his loser vibes, i think like he's super cool but in his own way. that's also how i feel about you. plus i sometimes catch you writing poetry and idk it's such a taerae thing to me

yessss every community, especially this big, is obliged to have its part of weird ppl 😭 now about the whitewashing thing. in kpop, photographer, companies etc, tend to take a normal picture of the idol and edit to make their skin whiter. example here :

and that's literally what she did to me 😀

the thing is there is a big part of the community that relies on their favs to make them feel better to the point where they kind of become obsessed. that's why a lot of people who stop listening to kpop are making a big deal out of it and criticizing the community when they leave... kpop is not the problem, it's just music in another language. if it was toxic for you, then you were the problem.

it's nice that you know regular fans then!! if i ever came across some of them i would have probably befriended them but it never happened so yeah 😭

[honey-lemon-goose]

don’t apologize doll, i’m glad you replied!! and AH omg that sounds so cool, i love that tattoo idea~ my best friend and i have birthdays a week apart, it’s so funny how things end up like that sometimes. i guess it’s just meant to be 🤍

that’s such a coincidence!! i wish i could keep flowers—or any plants—in my room but i’m currently in a college dorm and i don’t have much of a green thumb anyways. i couldn’t even keep a cactus alive. (literally, i had a cactus at one point and it died on me 😔)

that’s so cool, stray kids and monsta x are my ults too!! along with seventeen. i don’t stan ateez but i have a lot of friends who do and i like some of their music. do you have any ateez song recs? (or any song recs in general haha) i’m always open to expanding my 54 hour long kpop playlist hahaha.

that is beautiful! i’ve always loved music too, lots of genres and lots of languages. i’m studying language (linguistics) and it’s so interesting how deeply music intertwines with and enhances language, you know? the list of your favorite songs is almost like a mini spotify wrapped every month, i love that idea so much!! right now i’m really into seventeen’s discography, i haven’t worked my way through all their older albums so i’m working on that right now! but i’ve also been going back to my emo days and blasting all time low for some reason.

i hope you have the loveliest day or night key!! 🌼

— 🤍

Omg but same! Idk what is with me but I can't keep cactus alive for the life of me!? And they are supposed to be an easy plant to keep😫

Omg seventeen🫣 I've been trying my best not to fall in that rabbit hole! I refuse to look up their names because ik once I do I'm a goner🙏🧎‍♀️I love a good amount of their songs!! (Have any seventeen song suggestions!!?)

Oof do I have song recs🤭😉 buckle up love!! Firstly I'll start with Ateez!! We'll first dive into their more punk rock/emo vibing songs!! Wonderland (more pop punk), THANXX, I have to rec The Leaders because of Woo's whispers🫠, The Black Cat Nero!!!, Don't Stop, Guerrilla, The Ring, CYBERPUNK, ooh Guerrilla flag ver definitely!!, and of course HALAZIA!! Oog and some cute happy and sad song from ateez!! Take Me Home, Let's Get Together, The Letter, Be With You, Eternal Sunshine!!, A Little Space, Utopia, Not Too Late, and so soo many more!!

And for other artists! Anything by Sion!! Fun fact about him Changbin listens to him, too!!! Ooh, and anything by The Rose!! Ooh and Tabber!! For Tabber I say give 007, Look At My, Honey!, and Like A Vampire a listen!! Fairy by Dvwn, Lemon by ADOY, Winter by Se So Neon, and Dry Flower by SURL!!!!

It I'd amazing how music enhances language!! And yes it is like a mini Spotify wrapped!!🤣💀 OMG I AM ALSO GOING BACK INTO MY EMO DAYS!! (more like heavy metal/metalcore) I've been getting like an influx on kpop/metal fans on my fyp too!!

I hope you are having a lovely day or night as well my love!! It's always a joy seeing you pop up in my ask box🥹💛

[soyasojourns]

Long forgotten tunes, suddenly playing on my mind

It's one of those days that I suddenly remember a random tune, followed by a random urge to find the song on the internet.

Last year, several notes from the song Tsubasa wo Kudasai kept repeating in my mind. I tried to recall all the Japanese high school-themed movies I watched back in University involving choir competitions or choral singing, but I couldn't find "the song". As I scanned through choir video clips from Japanese movies, songs like Tegami, 3/9, and Chiisana Koi no Uta came up and I felt nostalgic hearing them again. Then it hit me. Perhaps if I look for "Japanese choir pieces", I'd find the song. And lo and behold - I did as it is one of the standard pieces usually sung in Japanese school choirs. I played all the titles and was so elated when I finally found the song - it was called Tsubasa wo Kudasai (Please Give Me Wings).

As usual, I haven't bothered to look at the English translations and I just checked it while writing this post. I'm a music/tune first before lyrics kind of listener.

If I can get one wish  To come true right now, I want a pair of wings Please grant me  white wings On my back  like a bird

In this huge sky  I wanna Spread my wings  and fly Towards the free sky without any sadness I wanna flap my wings   And go

I still dream of  those things That I've dreamed about  when I was little

A while ago, another tune came into my mind. Fortunately, there were some lyrics that I remembered although I wasn't sure if what I recalled were correct. The words in my mind that I searched for were "hanbun no sora wo song". This was a fast find, I saw a newer song, and another song, which came from an older anime back in the early 2000s. I got my song, and the title is Aoi Kofuku (Blue Blessing) by Nobuko. I wonder where I heard this song because I have definitely not watched the anime it was associated with.

Some parts of the English translation that I really liked.

In the pale town, my shadow sways I walk slowly, not knowing my destination My feelings can't reach you

The night of the half-moon shines down on tomorrow I kick free of the darkness extending into the distance Under the half-moon, we walk without stopping.

The night of the half-moon shines down on us I shake free from the time pursuing us If we are each half, together we can draw our future

I love how the tune is reminiscent of the late 90s/early 00s sound where vocals and guitar, acoustic style can already bring out a lot of color in music.

Then lastly, as I was trying to recall how I came across the song, I was reminded of a website called Gendou where I used to download all my anime music mp3s (or was .wav the file format then?). The website still exists and still hosts anime music downloads among others. At that time, I must have just randomly downloaded songs from the website and Aoi Kofuku was included. あー　なつかしい　Ah, how nostalgic. I wonder if I have saved those music files somewhere.

The last tune that I was able to search for online was also relatively easy since I clearly remembered the English lyrics part of the song. My search read as "just hold on tight anime lyrics". The title is Open Up Your Mind by Mirai, a Singaporean vocal group. This song was used as an insert background music for a popular anime at that time, which I have also not watched yet.

I have probably not paid attention to the Japanese lyrics before since I found the English part of the lyrics enough, but my Universe, just learning the meaning of the song as I listened to it again brought a sudden heaviness that was swept away gently by relief. I must have gone through a tough period of time when this song found me back then. My mind no longer remembers, but my body just did after listening.

Some of my favorite lines from the English translation

I wish for you to have the strength to make it through this world, so open up your mind, and you'll be able to see...

The stars may live for a long time, but that doesn't mean that the same days will repeat over and over forever. No one can see into tomorrow.

Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes, look inside yourself, you'll feel a heartbeat. Yes, I want you to believe in the future. You can take another look from the other side.

Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking. Reach into your soul, even if you can't see tomorrow. Yes, there's another world out there. You can take another look from the other side, and you'll be able to find all that is love...

If this song were only available on Spotify, it will be a wonderful playlist together with Yuki Kajiura's Open Your Heart and Egao ga Suki Dakara (Because I love your smile).

This is enough for my tune searching for today. The last song will appear when it is ready. But perhaps you could help me even if I only have this information: 2 girls on vocals - a duet song, part of the lyrics that I remember is: da-n-da, da-n-da, dan shinaikara(?). The tune is going up from the first 'da' part.

[no-reply95]

Paul McCartney and Loneliness

Listening to an album like McCartney it's not a surprise to find that the theme of loneliness is pervasive, given the circumstances under which the album was recorded. However, a fear of loneliness, or being left alone, also seems to be a consistent theme through a lot of Paul's songs throughout the Beatles period, suggesting that this was a particular fear of his as he repeatedly drew from this well in his lyrics.

Below I've compiled a list of songs, from Paul's Beatles period through to the recording of McCartney, where loneliness is either explicitly mentioned or a subtext to the lyrics:

Hold Me Tight (1963)

It feels so right, now hold me tight Tell me I'm the only one And then I might Never be the lonely one

Little Child (1963)

Little child, little child Little child, won't you dance with me? I'm so sad and lonely Baby, take a chance with me

A World Without Love (1964)

Please lock me away And don't allow the day Here inside where I hide With my loneliness

Things We Said Today (1964)

Someday, when I'm lonely Wishing you weren't so far away Then I will remember Things we said today

She’s A Woman (1964)

My love don't give me presents I know that she's no peasant Only ever has to give me Love forever and forever My love don't give me presents Turn me on when I get lonely People tell me that she's only fooling I know she isn't

Every Little Thing (1964)

When I'm walking beside her People tell me I'm lucky Yes, I know I'm a lucky guy I remember the first time I was lonely without her Can't stop thinking about her now

What You’re Doing (1964)

Look what you're doing I'm feeling blue and lonely Would it be too much to ask of you What you're doing to me?

You Won't See Me (1965)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la) They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la) And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la) It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la) Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la) Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la) And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la) If you want see me

Eleanor Rigby (1966)

Ah, look at all the lonely people Ah, look at all the lonely people Eleanor Rigby Picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been Lives in a dream Waits at the window Wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door Who is it for? All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong?

With A Little Help From My Friends (1967)

What do I do when my love is away? Does it worry you to be alone? How do I feel by the end of the day? Are you sad because you're on your own

I Will (1968)

Who knows how long I've loved you You know I love you still Will I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to I will

The Long And Winding Road (1969)

Many times I've been alone And many times I've cried Anyway, you'll never know The many ways I've tried

Oh! Darling (1969)

Oh darling If you leave me I'll never make it alone Believe me when I beg you Don't ever leave me alone

Man We Was Lonely (1970)

Man we was lonely Yes, we was lonely And we was hard pressed to find a smile

Man we was lonely Yes, we was lonely But now we're fine all the while

Maybe I’m Amazed (1970)

Maybe I'm a man Maybe I'm a lonely man Who's in the middle of something That he doesn't really understand

Are there are any songs that you think I've missed (I did debate including Fool On The Hill but don't think it quite fits)?

[xuxishortcake]

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ

John Mayer - Your body is a wonderland

¹:⁰³ ──♡──────³:³⁰

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : your boyfriend, Taeyong has been worn out due to working hard on his latest comeback & you just wanna appreciate him & tell him how much you love him <3

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 : sub!idol Dom!reader smut , angst ? some pretty cute fluff : 3, cursing , cream pie, cunninilingus, handjob , blowjob , praising

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 1.7k

hey everyone! this is my first official ff, so pardon me if there's Grammer errors, spelling mistakes, etc. I got inspired to write this while listening to "your body is a wonderland." I just love the soft, morning sex feel of the song & wanted to turn it into a ff. I'm not sure if I'll be an active poster , but I did have fun while writing this & making up stories is a hobby of mine so we'll see. feedback is very appreciated, & enjoy!! :3

♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

it was a pleasant Sunday morning & you woke up a little earlier than usual to the sound of birds chirping. You rubbed your eyes to adjust to the light streaming through the semi transparent curtains. next to you, lay your peacefully asleep boyfriend, Taeyong. {damn,} you thought, {even while sleeping he's just breathtaking to look at. God really does have favorites huh.} it made you smile to see him look so tranquil.

the night before, he came in the apartment quite fatigued since he had been out all day, practicing for his group's newest comeback.

"hey bubu," you said as you stood up from the couch you were sat at. you walked over & you hugged him. "how was everything today? any new progress?"

"mmm, everything's going along well, just a little tired because the recording session was a bit hard. I'm just glad to be back home & hugging you." he said while putting his head in the crook of your neck.

"you seem tired, baby." you reply, moving your fingers through his hair "want me to make you some tea maybe?"

"yeah, that'd be great. I'm just gonna go lay down on the bed for a bit. " he smiled tiredly, putting his backpack & shoes next to the door.

you went into the kitchen to get a kettle onto the stove. once it started boiling, you poured it into two small mugs for the both of you, added the tea bags & stirred in some honey. you left for the bedroom & came in to see Tae curled up, fast asleep on the bed. you sighed, a bit sad & put down the cups onto the night stand next to the bed & sat down besides him. you glanced at the clock on top of the night stand, 9:55 PM. makes sense he was tired, he left pretty early in the morning. however, you wanted to talk to him at least for a little bit more since it felt like the two of you hadn't had a conversation or even really cuddled in so long for his job was keeping him very occupied. sure you both texted back & forth while you could, but it just didn't feel the same as actually being there together. it wasn't too long before his comeback would be present, but then again, he'd be busy with promotions. a bit crestfallen, you slipped out of your clothes, went to get washed & had gotten into bed.

back to the present, you were thinking of how nice it was just to be close to him & know you could finally have a day where you could both just enjoy each other's company. you knew you wanted to do some extra special caring for him. knowing how he's been so hard at work was a sign he's in need of some extra special lovin'. you felt like you hadn't been able to tell him how much you loved & appreciated him, & now, you felt like you could finally do it. you snuggled up closer to him, gently put your hand onto his face & started caressing him. Taeyong 's nose scrunched & his eyes fluttered open.

"good morning bubu. " you said, continually stroking his cheek with the tips of your fingers. "sleep well?"

taeyong smiled & stretched a bit. "yeah, I feel well rested. how about you?"

"same same. I'm just glad you don't have to go anywhere today. I've missed being able to be with you. "

"I'm sorry I fell asleep so quickly last night y/n. I just wanted to lie down since I felt so drowsy but I dozed off like an idiot & didn't get to talk to you while I had the chance. I feel so bad since I feel I've been terrible at spending time with you & actually being a boyfriend. " he looked down glumly.

"no, baby, it's fine. it's understandable since you've been going pretty hard lately, & we have all day today so : )" you assured him pressing a small kiss on his forehead.

you smiled & held his cheeks between your hands & kissed his lips ever so gently. he kissed back, & you started to kiss back a little bit harder. before you knew it, things were starting to get really heated. you had slid your tongue over his lips as an ask to come in, & he happily let you in. that cute little bubblegum tongue of his sure knew how to get you riled up, cause damn, was he a good kisser. tongues playing harmoniously while softly panting. you broke out of the deep kissing to kiss his cheek & then started to leave kisses all along his sharp jawline. you climbed on top of him & worked your way down his neck, leaving a plush trail of kisses with him sighing softly. your hands trailed down his stomach & onto his forming hard on. starting to slowly stroke his covered bulge, you now moved your lips to his nipple, giving a few light licks, giving you great joy to hear the sweet little whimpers that were coming out of his mouth. you started to work faster with your tongue & hand. you lightly dragged your tongue down his abdomen & hooked your fingers around the waistband of his boxers & pulled them off. his cock sprung up & slapped against his stomach. the tip was sore & red, glistening with precum, which made you lick your lips in anticipation. slowly, you started to stroke it,from the base & squeezing a bit once you came to the top. you began to pick up the pace, taking in your boyfriend's pretty flushed face, begging you to touch him more.

"fuck tae, your body is like a wonderland. you're so beautiful. "

he started blushing at the compliments, hand slightly against his mouth , & that just made you want to do more. you stopped stroking his length & he whined at the lack of friction, trying to buck his hips in the air. however, you had a firm grip on his left thigh & wouldn't let him. you moved further down his body, until your head was in between his thighs. you started leaving kisses & bites all along his inner thighs. reaching to his dick, you placed a quick kiss on the tip & started giving a few kitten licks.

"fuck y/n,you're such a tease. " taeyong panted out.

"I'm just trying to savor every moment of this baby ♡" you said smirking since you knew what you were doing to him.

finally, you took him whole & he groaned out loud. bobbing your head up & down, his tip sometimes reaching the back of your throat, making you moan & send out vibrations, which made him moan right back . chest heaving & eliciting pretty moans , his back was slightly arched & his hips were pushed up a bit, but you made sure he was held put. he practically melted by your hands, & it was amazing to feel you had this much power over him. you could tell he was reaching his limit, & you got off of him with a *pop*. you were about to position himself into your entrance when he grabbed your wrist.

"no....not yet. I want you to feel good too. please, sit on my face. "

"ok, I'll let you since you've been a pretty good boy." you say as you crawl up onto him. you lower yourself slowly above his face & he holds your thighs in place. he takes one long lick across your slit, savoring it as if it tastes like candy & starts eating you out like he'll never be able to do it again.

"you're so pretty, y/n" he says against you, nose deep into you.

"ah fuck, & you're so good at this tae." you say tugging onto his hair, trying tohold back moans.

the way he eats you out is unbearably good. his tongue, gliding along your vulva , up & down & making circle motions on your clit gets you feeling so high. you felt yourself coming to a reach, & taeyong could see it & started to go even faster. your thighs started to shake in the euphoric feeling & you held his hair as he continued lapping up your juices until you told him to stop. finally, you got down off of his face & positioned yourself. you lowered yourself down onto his firm cock. "ohhh" taeyong let out a deep groan, relieved he was finally getting attention on him again. you stretched your torso across to pin his hands above his head & slowly started to move, your hips going perpendicular. moving your head towards him, you went back in for more kissing. tongues entangling & beads of sweat falling down in between your foreheads. having a tight grip on both his hands, you started going at a quicker pace, drawing out more moans from tae.

"oh my god. I'm close, y/n." taeyong moaned out against your lips with his hands starting to tremble.

"ok baby. you can cum." you replied, increasing the movements of your hips & pushing your lips into a deeper kiss with his. you felt his thighs starting to quiver & his hips bucked up deeper into yours, warm cum spilling out from inside you. you both rode it out together until you started to pant. not moving anymore,you were still on him with a bit of cum dripping out of your pussy, creaminess covering his cock. you rose up & got some tissues to clean the both of you. after that, you laid down next to him. him turning to meet your face & his chest still rising.

"it doesn't matter how long we've been together, you still manage somehow to make my heart race with every breath you take." taeyong said, a bashful little smile creeping onto his face.

"well, you never fail to make me smile at your sappy commentary." you giggled, running your hands through his messy hair. "you're pretty cute too."

"I can't believe I get to date someone as angelic as you." he said, snuggling his head into your chest, arms wrapping around your waist.

"ha, you make my heart flutter, really. I'm so lucky to have you. " you cuddled him back, hands on the back of his head, gently caressing him.

"love you, y/n"

"love you too, yongie" you replied smiling, savoring the intimacy of the moment.

[hinamie]

no no keep going I"m getting new songs to listen to xoxo

honestly like 98% of songs by former vandal the 1975 and waterparks are certified bangers imo u really can't go wrong but its been a while since i rec'd their music and gushed about how many EMOTIONS they evoke in me so here are some of my favourites :^)

Waterparks:

violet!: honestly probably gonna be my most listened song this year its SO good its about an obsessed stalker fan not much to say there :3 the MC4D remix slaps also!!!

funeral grey: "i know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit" need i say more

watch what happens next: truly the ballad of a burnt-out creator i too would like to be a millionaire before i'm 30 and have a love-hate relationship with the creative sphere and the idea of constantly having to meet expectations and put the wants of the audience first at the price of passion

FV

angel: listen ok Listen. one of my FAVOURITE things about fv as an artist is the whole vibe of sullied holiness//young and lost and seeking absolution in all the wrong places//"fuck divinity i'll corrupt god myself and he'll thank me for it" and this song is Exactly what im talking about !!!! i simply. i just . vibrates in my SKIN

icarian: ah the hubris and poor decisions of youth wax wings fly headfirst indeed kings <333 (((also it's by no means the only reason i love it but since i first listened to this song its given BIG gojocore vibes and i am filled with Ideas my braincells rub together when i listen to it)))

night moves: when i tell you i nearly creamed my fuckin pants when i heard the beat drop into the chorus for the first time,,, i want to relive that first listen moment every day but no matter how long its been this song never ! stops ! slapping !!!!

get right: honestly my #1 go-to comfort song the lyrics make me want to forgive myself

the 1975

the birthday party: slow and vibey and makes me feel sad and nostalgic for things that havent even happened to me it feels like going to someone else's high school reunion

narcissist: not technically by the 1975 but ill count it because i just love it so much i want to come across the way this song sounds. i want to embody it. simultaneously lonely and sad but also kinda tipsy and having a fun time with a few friends wandering the city at dusk

[tiffanylamps]

Plz give me your Spotify account! :D I will binge listen all your spotify playlists

Hahaha! I share my Spotify with another, so no-can-do on that one, I'm afraid 😊

But here are some songs from my Beyond Evil playlist. I added these songs after I first watched the show and are mainly rock/pop/sad bops:

Out of the Black - Royal Blood And I promised you Like you promised me But those vows we made We fucked it up for free, yeah

You made a fool out of me And took the skin off my back running So don't breathe when I talk 'Cause you haven't been spoken to I got a gun for my mouth And a bullet with your name on it

Monster - PVRIS How could you let them turn you into a monster? Your bridge started to burn when you ran all across it I guess you never learn 'til you live and you lost it Live and you lost it

Looking Too Closely - Fink Put your arms around somebody else Don't punish yourself, punish yourself Truth is like blood underneath your fingernails And you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself Looking too closely Looking too closely

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys Are there some aces up your sleeve? Have you no idea that you're in deep? I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week How many secrets can you keep?

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes Don't go there 'cause you'll never return I know you think of me when you think of her But then it don't make sense when you're tryin' hard To do the right thing but without recompense And then you did something wrong and you said it was great And now you don't know how you could ever complain Because you're all confused 'cause you want me to But then you want me to do it the same as you

The Beachland Ballroom - IDLES If you see me down on my knees Please, do not think that I pray Damage, damage, damage

Deathbeds - Bring Me The Horizon Eyes like a car crash I know I shouldn't look, but I can't turn away Body like a whiplash Salt my wounds, but I can't heal the way I feel about you I watch you like a hawk I watch you like I'm gonna tear you limb from limb Will the hunger ever stop? Can we simply starve this sin?

Figure it Out - Royal Blood Getting hard to sleep Blood is in my dreams Love is killing me Trying to figure it out

Nothing better to do When I'm stuck on you I'm still in here trying to figure it out

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - Nina Simone 'Cause I love you Baby, don't you know I'm just human And I've thoughts like any other man And sometimes I find myself alone and regretting Some foolish thing, some foolish thing I've done

Like Real People Do - Hozier I knew that look dear Eyes always seeking Was there in someone That dug long ago So I will not ask you Why you were creeping In some sad way I already know I Love You, But I Need Another Year - Liza Anne You're sticking around but how can you stand it? I can't salvage your mind while I'm losing mine And nobody should have to deal with this But I need ya, I don't wanna leave ya These Days - The Black Keys Watch what you say, the devil is listening He's got ears that you wouldn't believe And brother once you go to him It's your soul you can never, never retrieve

Resolution - Matt Corby One month down and it's in sight Oh I'm guaranteed to lose my mind It's dangerous to speak and sigh You might know what I'm trying to hide

Touch - Daughter You steal me away With your eyes And with your mouth And just take me back to a room in your house And stare at me with the lights off To feel something

(Some joke songs) What Joo Won was listening to on his 3 months divorcee retreat/his year break:

Date Night - IDLES Patience I've got no goddamn patience But I tried to shake, shake, shake it up But I shook myself to boredom

Best friend I do not like your best friend And all those shades of grey, ah! They turn my blood so cold, cold, cold, cold

sponsor me tape - Mom Jeans. I never thought it'd be so hard We haven't spoken since last march I try to cut you out but I still care about you I'll always fucking care about you Anyway.... yeah... those were some of the songs that I thought of after I finished my first watch-through. I hope you like them!! Some of them I am genuinely surprised they haven't been used for fanvids