deploydabae

[101warriors]

Hawkheart and tallstar(paw) for @mr-utterson

I like to think that Hawkheart could have helped tallstar out with the whole “what path do I choose” business considering he switched from a warrior to a medicine cat. Also hawk gets stinging nettle (life/death, protection)

[study-coffee-chicago]

Seasons of PD: Season 3: Jay’s Missing (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

As always, I don't own any quotes from the episode that happen to be in here!

Your age: 14

Jay's age: 28

Will's age: 30

"C'mon Jay," you muttered as you called him for the third time in an hour.

It was the one night a month where you and your brother would go out to dinner together and if there was a hockey game on, you'd finish watching it at his apartment. Then, he'd take you home. He was skeptical about doing it tonight since you had end-of-the-year exams next week, but you reassured him that you'd be fine; taking a break for a few hours never hurt anybody. And, you had all Saturday, Sunday, and Monday night after school to study since exams didn't start until Tuesday.

"You've reached Jay Halstead--" You quickly ended the call and began texting Ruzek. Hopefully, he'd cave and tell you what was going on.

But, when the read sign popped up seven minutes later, you knew something was up. If Jay was going to be late, he would've called you, or at least texted.

Since it was late May, the sun was out later than in the winter, which meant that it wouldn't be dark for another couple of hours. So, you grabbed a light sweatshirt and pulled it on, grabbed your phone and a few dollars and put them in your pocket, shouting a "bye Dad" on the way out...not that he cared what you did anyway.

You walked a few blocks to the El train stop, put your dollar in for your ticket, and hopped on. While you were on there, you were sure to have Ruzek's number pulled up on your phone and were ready to hit the call button in case something happened to you.

You looked at the map. The 21st District was just a few stops away. Soon, you'd know why Jay wasn't answering you. Hopefully, he was just out on a raid, handcuffing the bad guys.

***

"Kim," you said as you rushed into the district and saw the officer. "Do you know where my--"

You were cut off by the faint sound of a scream.

"Do I know where who is, Y/N?" she asked, completely ignoring what she had just heard.

"Jay, but that sounded like him screaming!"

You ran up the stairs to Intelligence, tugging on the gate even though you knew it wouldn't open without a member scanning their palm or Platt buzzing you up.

"Was that Jay? Is he there?" you yelled.

"Y/N, we can't let you up there right now," Kim explained.

"Why not? Jay told me we'd go out for dinner tonight and he always calls if he's gonna be late."

You looked up to see Ruzek coming towards the door.

"Would it kill you to answer a text?" you asked.

"Sorry, been busy."

"At least let me upstairs and then you can tell me where Jay is and I'll be out of your hair."

Ruzek sighed and allowed you to go up, Kim following you as well.

"Or Detective Halstead winds up as fertilizer in some cornfield in Indiana. We understand each other, Sergeant?"

"What'd he want?" Antonio asked, everyone totally unaware that you were now in the room.

"Halstead's life for all our CI files."

"H- His life?" you asked, frozen on the top step to the bullpen.

"Shit," Kevin muttered.

"Is he in trouble? Is he dead? Is that why he didn't answer my calls?" Your bottom lip started to tremble.

Antonio took a deep breath. He knew that if Gabby was in trouble that he'd want as much detail about what was happening as possible. "Something uh, something went wrong earlier," he supplied. "And then, because of that, some dealers took your brother."

"They took him? Took him where?"

"We don't know yet, kid," Al said. "But, that's what we're trying to find out."

When you heard that they didn't know where he was, you ran off towards the locker room. Ruzek tried to put his foot between the wall and the door to stop you from closing it and locking yourself in, but you were too fast for him.

You pulled out your phone and dialed a number you knew you probably should've called earlier when you first thought that Jay was in trouble.

"Erin? Jay's missing. You gotta find him. You're his partner."

***

Erin blearily reached for the phone, still trying to get over her hangover from last night--which lasted well into this morning--to go out for another night of non-stop partying, drinking, and drugs. She furrowed her eyebrows when she saw your name pop up.

"Hell--"

"Erin? Jay's missing. You gotta find him. You're his partner."

"He's--" She cleared her throat. "He's missing? What happened? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. I- I called him because we had a dinner and he didn't pick up, so eventually I just- I came down to the district and I heard someone on the phone say they're going to turn him into fertilizer, Erin."

"Do you know who it was?" she asked as she grabbed her service weapon and slid it into the waistband of her jeans...the same clothes she had been wearing since last night. A call that her boyfriend was missing was definitely curing her hangover fast.

"I don't know. It was- It was some dealer. But, you gotta come here and help them find him. You're his partner. Please." Your voice cracked on the last word.

"Okay, okay, I'll call Will to come pick you up and explain the situation. I'm leaving my apartment right now. I'll be there soon."

"Please don't call Will," you urged. "He's gonna be mad at me."

"Why's he gonna be mad at you?"

"Because I took the El and I'm not supposed to take the El by myself."

"Y/N, you taking the El by yourself is the least of his problems at the moment. Just sit tight and I should be there in about ten minutes."

***

"Y/N, c'mon open this door. Please?" you heard your oldest brother's voice on the other side of the door. "I know you're worried about Jay, but it's not gonna help at all if you just lock yourself in here all night."

You sniffled and then walked over to the door and unlocked it. "Will!" you cried, rushing into his arms. "He's gone, he's gone, he's gone."

"Hey, hey it's okay. You're okay. They're gonna find him and then you can have two dinners with him next month because you missed yours this month."

The number of times Jay had been shot or hurt on the job had caused Will to basically be immune to hearing bad news about his little brother. But, if Jay didn't come back or flatlined, then he'd be freaking out. And, despite Will wanting to scream at all of Intelligence to go find him, he knew he couldn't do that. He couldn't lash out right now because it'd only make it worse for you.

Your stomach growled, making Will go into even more protective brother mode. "When's the last time you ate?"

"Lunch," you answered.

"Y/N, it's 7:30. We gotta get some food in you."

"But, but what if he comes back? I wanna see him when he comes back."

"I'm gonna be honest with you. When he comes back, he's probably gonna need to go to the hospital just as a precaution. And, I know you have exams soon and your algebra one is stressing you out. I don't think Jay would want you to fail an exam just because you were worried about him."

"I hate math," you grumbled.

"I know. That's why you need to make sure you study."

"Doesn't mean I'm gonna end up liking it because I have to work on it."

Will didn't know what to say to that because he knew that you were right. So, he reiterated his previous point. "Let's go get you some food."

"Can-Can we just eat at home?" you asked. "I don't wanna not be home and hear bad news about Jay."

Will knew what you were getting at: you didn't want to break down in public.

"Yeah, we can do that. Still got a bunch of mac n cheese at home?"

"A few boxes," you answered, remembering how bare the cupboards were at your and your dad's house.

"We'll just grab something on the way home. C'mon."

"Can Erin come, too?" you asked.

"Go ask her. And, don't take the El by yourself. That's dangerous."

You rolled your eyes and followed him out of the locker room and into the bullpen.

"Erin," you started as you walked up to her desk. She had her head in her hands.

"Hmmm?" she asked looking up.

"Do you wanna come back to my house and eat dinner with me and Will?"

"I don't know if--"

"She'll come," Voight answered before she could finish.

"Hank!"

"Erin, we'll still be here working when you're done with dinner. Lord knows you could use some food in you."

"Fine." She stood up and grabbed her coat. "Not like you're letting me help with the case anyway," she muttered. But, no one heard that part.

Since she had quit Intelligence in Bunny's bar a few weeks ago, Voight was right in having her not work the case...not that she'd admit that. But this was her boyfriend, her partner, that was in trouble and she'd be damned if she didn't help get him out of this mess.

***

"Dad's not home?" Will asked as he let them into the house using the spare key that was hidden under a layer of dirt in the flower pot.

"He never is," you mumbled.

"What? What do you mean he's never home?"

"I mean, he's never home on Friday nights because he always goes out to the bar with some old friends," you told him. That was at least true. He did go out to the bar with some old friends...but it wasn't just Friday nights anymore, it was Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Thursday and Sunday, too. Because of this, he ate out a lot and didn't cook. Therefore, he had no reason to buy a lot of groceries, which was why there wasn't a lot of dinner food left in the cupboard...not that there was a lot of breakfast or lunch food here either, though. There was just enough for you to play it off that your dad just needed to go to the store. There was just enough for your brothers not to worry.

"Okay."  Will started to grab the Olive Garden you had ordered out of the bag. You said you weren't hungry--you didn't want to eat when you were this nervous-- and had only wanted to get some minestrone soup. But, Will insisted that you needed more than that so you compromised: minestrone soup and half an order of fettuccine alfredo...plus the breadsticks and the salad that came with the meal obviously.

A while later, Will was almost done with his food and was grabbing another breadstick and Erin was putting more salad onto her plate. You, on the other hand, had barely managed to finish your minestrone.

"Y/N, can you please eat a bit more? How about a breadstick? I know you love those," Will said.

"I'm not that hungry," you said quietly.

Will was about to say something when Erin stepped in. "How about you work on some of your homework? Maybe that'll make your appetite come back since you're using a lot of energy to focus. And, Jay mentioned that you have exams next week."

"He did?" you asked. You didn't think that Jay would mention stuff that you had going on in your life, like exams, to Erin.

"He always says how proud of you he is for working so hard in school...because he says that he was never as good in school as you."

"He really says he's proud of me?"

"He sure does."

"You guys mind if I do it out here? It's a lot easier to write stuff down when I'm writing in my notebook on the table instead of balancing it in my lap on my bed."

"Sure, kiddo," Will said.

You went to your room and grabbed your backpack and then started to work on your homework.

As you were working on it, your brain wandered back to the first time Jay had helped you with your math homework, all the way back in kindergarten, at this very kitchen table, when both of your parents had been working and Will was all the way in New York for his first year of med school.

You were sitting at the kitchen table, trying not to crumple up your math homework sheet and throw it across the room. It was only five subtraction problems, but subtraction was hard! You had only just started understanding addition!

You threw your pencil across the kitchen, where it narrowly missed the wall. It clattered to the floor, causing Jay to look up from where he was reading a book in the living room, the chair he had been sitting in was facing the kitchen, so he could keep an eye on you.

"Did you throw that?" he asked as he walked towards you.

"No," you lied.

He picked up the pencil. "If you lie, you get nine minutes in time out instead of six."

You didn't want to go in time out that long!

"I throwed it," you admitted, looking down at your math homework.

"It's threw, but thank you for being honest. Can you tell me why you threw the pencil?"

That was something his mom always did with him when he was younger: asked him why he did something and then, possibly put him in time out. Sometimes, he just needed to talk it out, and if that was the case, he didn't have to go into time out.

"I don't get sub-trac-shun!" you complained. "It's stupid!"

"Hey, we don't use that word."

"But it's hard."

"I know, but what if I help you? Would that help you to get it?"

"But Will said you not good at math," you pointed out, remembering something your oldest brother had said.

Jay chuckled. "I'm not good at big kid math. This stuff is easy for me."

"It's easy?"

"Oh, yeah. And, I think I might have something that can help you."

He walked over to the cupboard and reached up to the top shelf where he grabbed a bag of chocolate chips. He poured some into a small bowl and then walked back to the table and sat down next to you.

"We gonna eat chocolate?" you asked. "Even though I throwed-- I threw my pencil?"

"This is gonna help you learn subtraction."

"How?"

"Just watch." He paused and looked at the paper in front of you. "So, this one says five minus two."

"I know that," you told him proudly. "I know it says five minus two. I dunno what the an- the answer is though."

"Okay, well, take five chocolate chips out of here."

He held the bag out to you while you took five out, counting each one out loud. "What do I do now?"

"Now, if I eat two--" he popped two in his mouth. "--how many do you have now?"

You looked down at the chocolate chips. "One...Two...Three. I have three choc-chips!"

"That's right! So, five minus two is...?"

You scrunched up your face, trying to piece together what he had done. "I dunno."

"We had five chocolate chips. I ate two. How many did you say we have left?"

"Three!"

"Yeah. Five minus two is the same thing...just without me adding chocolate chips to the end."

"Huh?"

"Here." He took your paper from you and on the first three problems, he wrote chocolate chips after each number. "Five chocolate chips minus two chocolate chips is...?"

"Three!"

"Yeah! Good job! Now, write three down as your answer."

The next problem was three chocolate chips minus one chocolate chip and you did the same thing this time. Except, you got to eat the chocolate instead of Jay. You had two chocolate chips left this time.

Then, when you got to the last two problems that didn't say chocolate chips after the numbers, Jay showed you on your fingers how to figure out the answer.

Then, since you did such a good job, he let you watch Dora and eat some more chocolate chips.

"Y/N? Y/N? You good?" You were snapped out of your thoughts by Will saying your name.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine." You reached over the table to grab your pencil that had rolled towards Will. But, as you were reaching for it, your elbow knocked the two-liter of pop. "No!" you cried out as it spilled. It didn't just spill anywhere though...it spilled right on top of your algebra notebook. "Fuck this! I can't do this!"

You threw your pop-covered and sticky notebook on the ground and sprinted to the bathroom, ignoring Will and Erin's calls for you to come back.

You locked the door and slumped down against it. God, you needed that notebook. That had your entire exam review in it. And, if you didn't finish the exam review, you couldn't take the exam.

You only had 25 more problems left out of the 220 you had to do, hence why the review was given to you a month before you actually had to take the exam, so you had time to do it. And, some kids would wait until the last minute, but you figured you'd start early and do a certain number of problems a day so you didn't have to stress out and had time to ask your teacher questions if you had any.

But now, now you had a matter of days to do all 220 problems...and you had other exams to study for...and your big brother was missing...and...

Shit, here comes the Olive Garden.

You jumped up and lifted the lid of the toilet, quickly emptying the minestrone soup from your stomach.

"Y/N? Y/N! Open this door!" Will yelled as he banged on the door.

You leaned back against the bathtub and took a few deep breaths, willing yourself not to throw up again. You groaned as you felt the liquid rise in your throat and were back above the toilet in a matter of seconds.

You were panting at this point and trying to take a few breaths before more came out. Because you were so focused on making sure you didn't inhale your own vomit (ew) you didn't hear Will pick the lock and enter the bathroom.

When all that was left for you to throw up was bile and you were finished, you closed your eyes and leaned back against the bathtub once more, and took deep breaths.

"So that's why you didn't want to eat any more than you did," Will said.

"Will? How'd you get in here?"

"I picked the lock, Jay's not the only person in this family who knows how to do that, you know."

"I hate this," you mumbled, eyes still closed. "It happened last semester with exams too, but it wasn't this bad."

"Kid, you're stressing yourself out too much. You have to take a chill pill."

"I c-can't!"

"Okay," Will started as he crouched down next to you. "Why can't you relax?"

"I spilled pop all over my notebook!"

"So? You already practiced those problems. You know you don't need to practice them again, so just do the ones you need to practice."

"You don't get it!" You frantically rubbed the heels of your hands over your eyes as tears started to stream from them. "I needed that notebook! If I don't turn in the entire exam review I c-can't take the exam." You sighed and just put your head in your hands. This night seriously could not get any worse at this point. "And, Jay's miss- Jay's missing!"

"Y/N, I need you to take a deep breath for me, okay? Just take one."

"O-Okay." You took a deep, yet shaky breath.

"Now another."

You took another deep, yet shaky breath. And, you continued this cycle until Will deemed your breathing to be back to normal.

"How about you brush your teeth and then we'll figure out what to do for the homework once you do that. Sound good?" You nodded and stood up to go to the sink. "I'll be in the kitchen with Erin."

Then, Will exited the bathroom to go back into the kitchen like he told you.

"How is she?" Erin asked when she saw him come in. She had started cleaning up their take-out containers while Will had been busy trying to calm you down. "Sounded like she was puking."

"Because she was."

"Is she sick?"

"Not in the technical sense. But, she is what I like to call stress sick."

"Stress sick?"

"Exams are stressing her out, so add on top of the fact that Jay's missing, and she got so stressed out that she threw up."

"Poor kid," Erin sympathized. Then, her phone buzzed. "I gotta get back to the district. Tell her to feel better from me."

"Will do." He started to walk Erin towards the door, but stopped when they were almost to it. "And Erin? Bring my little brother back. Even though he's a pain in my ass half the time, I can't lose him. And, I know Y/N would take it really hard."

"Will, he's got the best unit in all of Chicago looking for him. We'll bring him back."

A few minutes after Erin had left, you walked into the kitchen, with clean teeth and the gross taste of vomit now out of your mouth, to see Will sitting at the table, staring at your notebook with a roll of paper towel next to him. "What are you doing?" you asked as you sat down.

"Trying to get the stain out," he replied.

"How? It's like the entire notebook, not just one page."

"You're talking to the king of spilled coffee on homework. And, lucky for you, pop and coffee are both water-based. So, I think I know how to get this out. You're gonna need to rewrite it in a new notebook, though."

"Okay. Need any help?"

"Can you just get me a bowl filled with water?"

"The paper's already wet. Why do you want to make it wetter?"

"Just trust me on this one." You yawned. "After you grab that for me, maybe you should go to bed. It's been a long day."

"Will you stay here?"

"Of course. I can just sleep in my old bedroom...unless Dad did something to it. Speaking of Dad, is he usually out this late? Does he usually leave you home alone this late at night?"

You were filling up a bowl with water and turned to look at Will. You shrugged. "Sometimes. It's okay, though." That was a lie. Most nights he didn't get home until two or three in the morning...but, Will didn't need to know that.

"I'm going to have a chat with Dad about that. He shouldn't be leaving you home alone this late at night."

"Will, it's not even that late. I'm fine." You placed the bowl of water on the table.

"Fine. But if it hits midnight and he's not home yet, then I will be talking with him about this."

You nodded. "Well, I'm gonna go to bed. 'Night Will. Sorry about getting sick."

"You don't have to apologize for that." He stood up and pulled you into a hug. "Goodnight."

You started to walk towards your bedroom when you remembered something and turned back to Will. "Will?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think Jay's okay? He's gotta be okay, right?"

"Y/N, he's got the best unit in the city looking for him."

"And Erin."

"And Erin," he confirmed. "He'll be okay." But, in that moment he didn't know who he was trying to reassure more: you or himself.

***

"You wanna go somewhere today?" Will asked as you were both sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal the next morning.

"I have homework to do...a lot more than I thought I'd have, too. Did Erin give you any updates on Jay?" you asked.

He shook his head. "But, he's gonna be okay. And, you don't have a ton of homework to do. You have a ton of homework to copy."

"What do you mean?"

At this, he placed the notebook on the table. "I told you I knew what I was doing."

You flipped open the notebook to see that Will was right: he did in fact know what he was doing. Even though the pages were all still tinted a light brown from the pop, the writing from you doing all the practice problems was still legible. "How did you...?" you trailed off as you continued to flip through your algebra notebook.

"Like I told you, I spilled coffee on one too many notebooks in college. Now all you need to do is copy the problems down into a clean notebook. Save you some brainpower."

"Thank you."

"Now, I suggest we got to CCU's library so you can get a change of scenery while doing that."

"CCU? Why? And, you're not a student there anymore. How are we gonna get in?"

Will scoffed. "They don't check student IDs when you go in. And, a change in my workspace always helped me to focus when I was studying, so maybe it'll help you."

"Workspace," you mocked. "So professional. But, yeah, let's do that. Can we keep our phones on though in case Erin calls?"

Will nodded. "Of course."

***

Getting into CCU wasn't actually that hard. All Will had to do was pay $10 for a day pass to park and then you walked into the library, no student ID necessary.

"Okay kiddo, where are we sitting?" he asked.

"I don't know. I've never been here before. Where did you normally sit?"

"Second floor. It's generally quieter up there and the tables are big, so I could throw my books all over it. But, I'd come back down here for coffee a lot, too."

"There's a coffee shop?" you asked as you widened your eyes. "In the library?"

"Well, tuition is out of this world. So, at least we get something out of it."

"Can we go? I think I have $5 somewhere in my backpack."

"If prices haven't gone up since I was here when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, then I can get a muffin and a large coffee for $5. I'll have the coffee and you can have the muffin. I'll pay," Will told you.

"Okay, thank you! And, you're not that old, Will."

You got your triple chocolate muffin and Will got his large coffee. Then, you found one of the big tables that he had mentioned and started copying your algebra review into another notebook.

"What are you going to do? Sit here and stare off into space?" you asked your brother. "Wait," you began as you started to rummage around in your backpack for an eraser, "What's this?"

You set a big book on the table. And it's definitely not something you'd read because it was called "How We Learn", which you assumed meant that the book was nonfiction and went into the science of learning.

"I found it in my room. Must've left it there from Christmas last year and I haven't had a chance to read it, so I figured I'd bring it to read now."

"Fair enough."

***

"Did Jay ever want to go to college?" you asked a few hours later. "Or, did he know it just wasn't right for him?"

"I think he always knew he wanted to do something involving being on the front lines and being in all the action," Will answered, dog-earing the page in his book and setting it down. "Why? You don't want to go to college either?"

"No, I do," you said quickly. "It's just- I just want to know things that I've never asked him if we...you know..."

Will nodded. "I know you're worried about him, but if Hank Voight's anything like Jay's told me, he won't let anything happen to one of his own."

"But he let it happen to Jules," you said. What if Jay was the next Jules?

"Jules? Who's Jules?"

"She was Antonio's partner. Antonio's the reason Jay got into Intelligence. And one day, he said we were going to go see a movie. Like, he just randomly picked me up from school and everything. I could tell he was sad after the movie, and it wasn't a sad movie, and he told me that someone he worked with died. A little later, we were walking by the memorial wall by the district and he showed me her name."

"I see," Will said, drawing on his talking-to-patient skills because what else was he going to say?

Luckily, he was saved by his phone ringing.

"Hello? Erin?" Pause. "He's at Med?" Pause. "Okay, yeah, we'll be there in ten minutes."

"He's okay?" you asked as soon as Will ended the call. "Jay's okay? They found him?"

Will nodded. "He's at Med. Erin said he's a little bruised, but he was conscious, so that's good."

You took Will's book and shoved it in your backpack along with your schoolwork. "Let's go."

***

"Nat, really, my ribs don't need to be wrapped. I'm fine," Jay protested as he sat in a treatment room at Chicago Med, Erin standing next to him in some clean clothes that Natalie had let her borrow.

"Jay, your ribs are badly bruised. They need to be wrapped. If you're more comfortable with a guy wrapping them, I can easily call in a male nurse for help," Natalie suggested.

"No, it's not that. I don't care who does it."

"My little brother just doesn't want to bruise his big ego, that's what's going on, Nat," Will said as he entered the treatment room with you by his side.

You jumped when Jay turned and you saw his face and his chest: a black eye that went from the inside corner of his right eye to his right temple, a gash on the top right of his forehead, another gash on the left side of his forehead which was diagonal and above the outside portion of his left eyebrow, a jagged cut that went down his left temple starting at eye level, a split lip, and purple, blue, and red bruises along with some cuts and welts that littered his ribs and chest.

"You're okay?" you asked as your lips pulled into a frown and tears stung your eyes.

"I'm okay. Just a little beat up right now. Nothing to worry about."

Without thinking, you ran to his bed and gave him a hug. He let out a groan as you squeezed a bit too tight, irritating his ribs.

You pulled away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay, my ribs are just gonna be a little sore for a few days."

"I thought you were going to be turned into fertilizer."

"Fertilizer?" Jay furrowed his eyebrows. "Who told you that?"

"When you didn't call me back about dinner, I tried calling Adam, but he didn't pick up either, so I went to the district. I heard some guy on the phone saying he was going to turn you into- into fertilizer. I was so scar- so scared."

Tears rolled down your cheeks faster than you could wipe them away.

Jay stood up with a grimace and walked the few paces over to you, wrapping you in a hug. "Hey, I'm okay now. That's all that matters. And, you did a really good job calling Erin."

"I did?"

"You sure did. She told me all about how you told her that I was gone and that she'd be able to get me out because we're partners." He paused. "She also told me that you took the El by yourself."

"Erin," you whined. "You weren't supposed to tell him that."

"It's okay," Jay said. "I won't tell Dad as long as you don't do it again."

"I won't," you replied. Not like Dad would do anything anyway, you thought to yourself.

"Jay," Will started, "You need to get back into bed."

"It's just bruised ribs, Will. I'm fine," Jay argued.

"It's just bruised ribs, Will. I'm fine," Will mocked. "Yeah, tell me that tomorrow when you can barely walk because of how sore they are. Bed. Now."

"Fine." Jay sat down with a huff and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I swear, you're such a child, Halstead," Erin said.

***

You walked out of school a few days later feeling free. Summer was here and you were no longer a middle-schooler. You were now a high schooler.

You started to walk out of campus, the way you took to walk home every day, when you heard the thundering of footsteps behind you, causing you to jump and turn around.

"Jay." You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw it was your brother.

"Hey, figured I'd pick you up. My text must not have gone through."

"Oh, I turned my phone off because of exams. Sorry."

"No problem. C'mon, we're going out to lunch and then we'll stop home to grab your swimsuit."

"Swimsuit? Why?"

"Mom would always take us to Navy Pier on the first day of summer to go swimming. And, since Will's shift ends at 1:00 and I'm on leave because of injury, it's the first year we can actually do this all together."

You nodded, trying to hold back tears at the mention of your mom.

"Hey, let me take your backpack. That thing looks like it's gonna make you topple over." You took it off and handed it to him. "Whoa! What's in here? Rocks?"

You laughed. "Nope, end of the year locker cleanout. Everything that was shoved in my locker is now in there."

"No rotten food I hope," Jay joked.

"No," you laughed. "Why? Did you or Will leave food in your locker?"

"No, we knew better than that. But the kid next to me left a milk carton in there over spring break and that smelled funky when we got back. I started bringing my backpack around with me just so I didn't have to go back to my locker because it smelled so bad."

"We can't do that. Teachers say it's for our safety because of bombs."

Jay opened the door to the backseat and put your backpack in there while you got into the passenger seat. Then, he got in the driver's seat all the while thinking how you knew that that was the reasoning behind that rule. He knew the reasoning because he was a detective. But he thought that most of the time, kids just thought it was some stupid rule.

"How do you know about that?" he asked once he started his truck.

"One of my teachers told us. She was mad at a kid who kept bringing his backpack to class even though she told him not to, so he went off on her and called it a stupid rule and asked why we even had the rule. She told him it was because if there's a bomb threat then she has to check every single backpack. That's why."

"Oh," was all Jay said. He really didn't want to be having this conversation with you, but here he was.

"Is it different?" you asked.

"Is what different?"

"Like, is high school different now than when you were in high school? And how different is middle school from high school?"

"Are you nervous for high school already, kiddo? You just finished eighth grade like fifteen minutes ago!"

You shrugged. "I'm just curious is all." Jay quirked an eyebrow at you while he took his eyes off the road for a split second and then returned them back to the road. "Okay, fine. I'm a little nervous."

"Let's talk about this over brunch, okay?"

"Okay."

***

Of course, Jay knew that you wanted to go to iHOP because breakfast was good at any time of the day. Jay thought differently though and ordered a sandwich instead of breakfast food like you. You had gotten their cinnamon roll pancakes with bacon, sausage, and hashbrowns on the side.

You were waiting for the comment about it being a lot of food, but that never came...which you were thankful for. You didn't know how you were supposed to explain to your very perceptive brother that the reason that you were eating a lot here was that you only had about 3/4 cups of dry cereal this morning before school because you were out of milk. You were out of milk and your dad didn't go grocery shopping. And, it's not like you had enough money to buy groceries or that you knew where your dad kept the money so you could take $20 just to buy food and hide it in your room so that you had something to eat.

"So, what do you want to know about high school?" Jay asked. "Did you get your schedule yet?"

If you were going to Central Chicago High School after going to their middle school, you had the option to schedule your classes the month prior and then you'd see if you'd get those classes. Of course, it might not be possible to get every class with every teacher you want, but it was cool that you got to know right when you finished eighth grade. And, in high school, it was the same thing: on the last day of ninth grade, if you were staying for tenth grade, then you'd get your schedule on the last day of ninth grade. It was sort of weird to you, but you got used to it.

"Is Eva going to be at the beach, too?" you asked. You knew it was her's and Diego's last day of school along with Jordan's and Vanessa's, so you wanted Jordan and Eva to be there when you told everyone your schedule so they could tell you everything they knew about the teachers you had next year.

"I can text Antonio. Why?" Jay asked.

"I just wanted to see if Eva and maybe Jordan would be there because they could tell me everything about the teachers I have."

"I can text Antonio and Kevin. You know what, I'll text Ruz and Burgess too."

"And Mouse."

"And Mouse. Can't forget about him now, can we?"

"What about Erin? Is she coming, too?"

"Uh, I don't know about that. She's had a rough couple of days."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "Why?"

"You know how Voight took her in?" You nodded. "Well, after Nadia died, she was backsliding. Badly. And now, she's detoxing and it's kinda hard on a person's body."

"Okay, but seeing you would make her feel better. She's always happy when she's around you. And you always have this big, dopey grin on your face whenever you're around her."

"I do not," Jay protested. You raised your eyebrows at him. "Okay fine, maybe I do that occasionally. I'll text some people and then we can talk about high school."

Jay sent the texts while you continued to eat. He took a few bites of his sandwich and then broached the topic of high school once more by saying, "So, what do you want to know about high school?"

"I dunno. How's it different from when you went to school like twenty years ago."

"Hey! It was not twenty years ago. I'll have you know it was ten years ago!"

"Same thing."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Well, shootings happened, but not as much as they do now." You opened your mouth to ask if Jay had ever responded to one, when he stopped you. "And I know what you're going to ask. No, I didn't respond to one and I wouldn't tell you if I did. What do I always tell you?"

"I'm trying to keep you innocent and sheltered from all the bad stuff in the world," you said verbatim of what he had told you dozens of times when you asked for details of what he was doing at work.

"Word for word. So, we got to carry our backpacks around and it was an open campus."

"It used to be an open campus?" you asked, shocked.

"Yup, we rarely even had to sign out."

"Lucky! I wanna leave school and go to Mcdonald's for lunch!"

"Too bad you weren't born like fifteen years earlier and that could've happened."

"Oh, and we could eat lunch on the roof. There was a way to climb through the ceiling above the indoor track. It's closed now, though."

"Why'd they close it?"

"Yeah, you might want to wait until we're at the beach for me to tell that story since I'm sure everybody else would find it funny."

"Okay..." you trailed off, drawing out the "y". You didn't know why everyone would find a story of a hole in the ceiling being closed funny, but you figured it was best to let Jay have his way...with this one at least. "What's the difference between middle school and high school?"

"Now, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: nobody cares in high school."

"What do you mean?"

"Just ask Eva when we get to the beach."

"She's coming?"

"Her, Diego, Antonio, Kev, Adam, Kim, Jordan, Vanessa, Mouse, Erin, and of course Will are all coming."

***

Luckily, Jay decided to stay in the car while you ran inside your house and changed into a swimsuit, slipping your clothes over top of it so it would be easier when you got to the pier.

"Dawson!" Jay yelled as he walked up the beach, bag in hand filled with his swim trunks, water bottles, and a few bags of chips. Typically, he would've brought beer to the beach, but he had to drive home, with you in the car no less, so no drinking for him.

"Halstead!" Antonio yelled back.

Once you got up close enough, you saw that Gabby was there, too.

"Bring Gabby to be your DD, Antonio?" Jay jokingly asked.

"I mean, I'm sure Ruzek's bringing beer, so I might be able to get away with one."

"Uh uh," Gabby said. "If Kim brings some fruity drinks, you're driving home."

"So, if she brings regular drinks I can have a few beers?"

"Your cap is two, Antonio. You've got these two to take care of." She gestured to Eva and Diego. Diego was already jumping the waves and Eva was laying down on a beach towel starting to get a tan.

"Eva!" Antonio yelled. "Y/N's here!"

"Oh thank God," she said and walked up to you. "Girl, come sit your towel down next to mine and then we can look at your schedule."

"Yeah, I wanna see that, too!" Jay exclaimed.

"Should we wait for Will? And Jordan? Maybe Jordan has some input about the teachers. And, Jay said he has a story to tell about a hole in the ceiling of the high school and he wants to be sure everyone is around to hear it."

Ten minutes later, everyone had arrived and was in their swimming gear. "Okay, what's this story about the ceiling, Jay?" you asked.

"Oh, that story," Will joked.

"Yeah, that one. What other one would there be?"

Will rolled his eyes.

"Okay, before I start, I am going to preface this by saying that I was young and I was very stupid."

"He's stupid every day," Will dramatically leaned over Jay and whispered to Erin.

"Man, would you shut up and let me tell the story?" Will sat in silence for a few seconds. "Thank you.

"We all know about senior pranks. Well, it was my senior year and a few of us from the soccer team decided to pool our money together and buy some live chickens--"

"Did you say chickens? As in chickens with feathers? That squawk?" Kevin asked.

"Yes, real chickens. What other ones would there be?"

"Maybe they were chicken nuggets," Adam suggested.

Jay dramatically sighed. "Antonio, did you miss having me in the unit this week? You and Erin had to put up with these two bozos all by yourself."

"Hey!" Adam and Kevin yelled in unison.

"Anyway, as I was saying, some of us from the soccer team pooled our money together to buy chickens. Real live chickens, not chicken nuggets, Ruz. Then, we chose a Sunday night to get into the school--they always left this one back door unlocked--and we climbed onto the roof from the stairs/hole thingy in the ceiling right above the indoor track.

"Once we got to the roof, we dropped the chickens off of it. But, our stupid lookout got caught and then the cops came."

"You got arrested?" Adam laughed. "This is priceless."

"Didn't get arrested. Just had to do community service to be able to walk at graduation. But, nowadays, yeah, I'd have probably gotten arrested."

"So, that's why they closed it? Because you and your friends decided to drop chickens from the roof?" you asked.

"Exactly."

"Were Mom and Dad mad?" you asked. "I was little. I don't remember."

"They weren't thrilled, I'll tell you that much. I think if I would've gotten arrested it would've been a lot worse."

"He's downplaying it," Will said. "Mom grounded him from everything. Car keys, those crappy Motorola phones we had back then, GameBoy, dates with Allie. He couldn't do anything."

"Does not sound fun. I won't be trying that." You pulled your schedule out of the bag Jay had brought and passed it to your brother first.

"Aw, man, you got Cunningham for history," Jay groaned. "Or should I say Cuntingham."

"Jay!" you yelled.

"That old hag is still teaching? Damn," Will added.

"Okay, what's the issue with her? Eva? Jordan? Anything about this Cunningham lady?"

"She just hates freshman," Eva supplied. "When you become a sophomore it gets better."

"And she hates when you tip back in your chair," Jordan added. "She'll make you pay her 25 cents if she sees you do it in her class."

"Okay, no tipping in chairs, and I have to deal with her for a year, noted." You turned to your brothers. "How do you know of her?"

"I didn't have a problem with her other than the fact that she's a crappy teacher," Will said. "But  Jay, on the other hand, he's a different story."

"What'd you do?"

"So, I was a freshman when you were born and Mom went into labor the night before I had a test. And, because everyone hates tests, I went to the hospital with Will that morning and we waited for Mom to you know, be done giving birth to you.

"And, I went to school the next day and this old hag said that because there wasn't a doctor's note that I couldn't take the test--"

"He was this close--" Will pinched his pointer finger and thumb together so that they were almost touching. "--to taking you to school one day just to show you to Cunningham and saying is this a good enough doctor's note for you?"

"But Mom wouldn't let me do that...for obvious reasons. And then, because I couldn't take that one stupid test, I did not do well in that class."

"Just say you're related to me," Will said. "Don't mention Jay's name at all and you'll be fine."

"Got it. I'm gonna go in the water now."

You started to go in the water when you heard Erin and Will trying to convince Jay to go in.

"Dude, I can't roughhouse because of my ribs, you know this!" Jay told Will. "And, I am not going in the water with you again, not after what happened last time."

"Jay, that was twelve years ago, give it rest."

At this, your ears perked up. "What'd Will do?" you asked, walking back up to your brothers and Erin.

"He tried to drown me."

"Did not! I just wanted to see how long you could hold your breath."

"Yeah, see how long it would take me to drown!"

"He tried to drown you?" Erin asked.

"Yeah," Jay answered. "Me and Will were playing in the water. I was like 16 and Will was like 18. Y/N was a little toddler and was playing with her shovel on the beach. Then, Mom had to go to the bathroom, so she left me and Will in charge."

"Bad idea number one," Will said.

"There's more bad ideas. So, Y/N's playing in the sand, me and Will are playing in the water, and then next thing I know, Will's practically on top of me and holding my head underwater."

"And the minute I let you up was the minute Mom came back."

"Yup, perfect timing."

"And then you have Y/N who's sitting on the beach and decided to watch us and was just clapping her hands and chanting again, again!"

"Really?" you asked, as you tried to hold back your laughter. "I did that?" Will nodded and you shrugged. "Sounds pretty accurate to me."

"And then I didn't get ice cream after."

"Yeah, you didn't get ice cream after." Jay took a deep breath. "You almost killed me!"

You rolled your eyes. "I'm going in the water to cool off. Maybe it is best that you guys stay here. But, I mean, Gabby's here and I hope to God Will knows CPR because he's a doctor and that you cops do, too."

Once Will saw that you weren't focused on him and Jay anymore, he turned to his little brother. "Hey, how old was dad when he kinda, you know, clocked out on parenting us?"

"Early high school," Jay answered. "Why are you...oh shit, Y/N."

"Yeah, Y/N," Will reiterated. "And, we had Mom, so it wasn't that bad. But, she doesn't have that."

"She's got us," Jay said. "That's gotta count for something."

A/N: I was going to post this last night, but I almost fell asleep while editing, so it's coming out now. Anyway, not sure how I feel about this one, but I got it done, so that's all that matters. Thank you for reading! Please vlike/reblog and comment and tell me what you think! As always, if you want to be added to the taglist, just comment that you want to be added down below. PS: That story about chickens being dropped into the courtyard at school, yeah my older cousin did that for his senior prank and the lookout got caught and they had to do community service to walk at graduation.

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e 

[morganaspendragonss]

dealing in danger

for the wonderful erin's birthday!!! (@halsteadmarchs) this is literally nothing like your original prompt skdshjkl hence why i made it into a new post but i hope you like it!!!

i did however manage to include the dialogue prompt you requested! 40 - "Hasn't this addiction done enough damage already?" from the angst section of this list

title from can you hear me by anson seabra

ao3 | 1.9k | pre-series, drug addiction, overdose, questionable parenting decisions

TK is not supposed to be hearing this. Not that his parents have ever seemed to care about what he does or doesn’t hear; his entire childhood was spent listening to the harsh whispers that drifted through through the walls and doors of their apartment. He could tune them out, if he chose, but these days the arguments seem to increasingly be about him, and TK thinks he has a right to know about his own life.

Especially when so little of it seems to belong to him anymore.

He’s been living under lock and key ever since he fucked up and accidentally left his stash out in the open a week ago. It was a rookie mistake, but in his defense, he’d been pretty fucking high at the time. Granted, that defense hadn’t gone over particularly well with his mother, but TK thinks it’s a valid excuse. He’d woken up that morning to a pounding headache and a dry mouth and his parents waiting for him on the couch with several baggies of pills in front of them. He’d pretty much been dragged straight to the doctor’s, and he’d only managed to avoid a stint in rehab by some miracle.

Said miracle being, an impassioned plea to his dad and a promise that TK had no intention of keeping to play things by his rules. His mom had tried to object, but TK is an adult, more or less, and he lives with his dad anyway. She can hardly enforce something she’s not around to bear witness to.

Or, at least, that was the theory. In reality, his mom has been here most days, and at least three quarters of those days have featured an argument over their different approaches to this situation.

“You know it will end up worse for him if we force it!” his dad is saying, probably violently gesturing towards TK’s room.

“And if we don’t?” his mom demands, her tone matching his exactly. “Our son has clearly been doing this for long enough that he knows how to hide it from us; what makes you think that you can control it now when you’ve obviously failed to up until now?”

“Oh, that’s rich! TK has two parents, you know!”

“He lives under your roof! He probably did drugs right under your nose; maybe if you were ever home, you would have noticed!”

And so it goes.

It’s the same every time—his parents passing the blame back and forth, ultimately getting nowhere and only really serving to piss each other off more. TK is kind of tired of it, but it’s pretty much the only entertainment he gets these days, so.

He’s kind of just waiting for the day when they realise that things were better before. Back when he was at one friend or another’s house getting high and they never had to bother about keeping an eye on him. No-one could deny that those days had been happier, for all of them.

But, hey, it’s not as if they want TK’s opinion anyway. It’s only his life and all.

“Hasn’t this addiction done enough damage already?”

That’s new. TK sits up straight, ear practically pressed to the door to hear; his dad seems to have finally realised that he can hear their every word, and has adjusted his volume accordingly.

His mom seems just as lost. “What are you talking about, Owen?”

“Have you looked at our son recently?” There’s something hard in his dad’s voice that TK has never heard before, not even when they found out about the drugs, and it takes him aback. “He’s not well.”

“Which is why he needs to be in rehab—”

“Which is why he needs to be with us. Come on, Gwyn, you think this whole thing isn’t our fault?”

TK raises a brow. In reality, the drugs had probably only been a quarter about his parents, if that, but it’s classic Owen Strand to think that the world revolves around him.

“I know that.”

And classic Gwyneth Morgan to agree with him.

“We were never there for him, and now look where we are. You said it yourself—none of us even noticed that he was...what he was doing. It was an accident that we did find out. If we send him away for months, he’s not going to see it as us trying to help him; he’s going to see it as us not wanting to deal with him.

“TK looks bad now, but imagine what time there would do to him. His addiction has already hurt us all enough; now it’s time for us to start managing that. You know I’m right, Gwyn.”

There’s a long pause after his dad has finished speaking before his mother mumbles something that TK takes to be an agreement. He’s not listening now anyway, his father’s words on repeat in his mind.

Hasn’t this addiction done enough damage already?

He’s not well.

...hurt us all enough

He’s right. His dad is right.

TK has hurt his parents enough. And he’s pretty sure that his dad knows he’s already figuring out a plan to go back to the drugs; he’s just choosing to ignore it because he doesn’t want to believe it.

But there’s a simple solution to this, and TK doesn’t know why he didn’t see it before.

He’s the problem, so to fix it, he just needs to not be around.

Simple.

So, that night, TK quietly steals the cash from his dad’s wallet, picks the lock on the apartment door, and creeps out into the night.

*

It’s pathetically easy to not be found if you don’t want to be. TK knows that by now his parents will have gone through every possible channel to find him, but he’s abandoned all his old haunts and used his dad’s money to get as far away from Manhattan as possible. He makes sure to keep outside of the 252’s service area, changes his name, and even buys some hair dye and new clothes to reduce the chances of him being recognised as fair as possible.

He has no money left by the time he feels safe, but that’s okay. There are other ways of paying for what he needs, after all.

TK survives almost two weeks in his new life. He steals food, grabs dropped money, and sleeps on the streets, or sometimes in a bed if that’s what his dealer of choice prefers for that night. It’s obviously nowhere near as comfortable as his old life was, but needs must, and TK knows how to adapt.

Anyway, at least he’s not trapped with his parents and their constant arguing anymore. At least he can get Oxy pretty much when he wants, in exchange for a quick fuck or two. And he knows that he can’t keep this up indefinitely. He knows that, sooner or later, his choices are going to catch up with him.

Thing is, TK gave up on old age a long time ago. Live fast, die young—that’s how it goes, right? It doesn’t sound so bad to him.

Or, it doesn’t, until his mistakes do finally find him again.

That night, he does his usual business, a baggie of pills for him, a blowjob for his dealer, and then it’s over. He’ll be on the streets tonight—apparently his dealer had ‘other matters’ to take care of—but TK doesn’t mind. It’s a balmy night, and alleyways can be surprisingly cosy if you know how to make them so.

Drugs, it turns out, work a treat.

TK doesn’t bother inspecting the pills as he tips them back, dry swallowing one after the other. Even if he had, it’s doubtful that he would have noticed anything off—and, later, he has to wonder if he would have cared if he had.

Slowly, the high begins to wash over him, and TK feels happy. He’s flying, but then it feels like something slams into him, and panic seizes his chest as he crashes back down to earth.

His body isn’t moving—TK can’t move—but he has this swooping sensation in his stomach and dread growing slowly in him. Something is horribly, horribly wrong, but his brain can’t think beyond helpcan’tbreathedyingDAD—

TK twitches and chokes, and then there’s no time for thinking anything as his head drops to his chest and his eyes fall shut.

*

Owen stares down at his son, lying comatose in a hospital bed. It’s only been two weeks since he fled the apartment, but already he looks so different, so much worse. Apart from the dyed hair and the streaks of grime on his face, it’s obvious that he’s lost a horrific amount of weight—weight TK could ill afford to lose.

There are deep purple bags under his eyes and his hair is limp and greasy to the touch. Nevertheless, Owen reaches out anyway, tangling his fingers in the strands as he prays for TK to open his eyes.

Worse, TK’s body is a patchwork of bruises and cuts, some in places that leave little doubt as to what he was doing to pay for the drugs. Owen feels sick to think about it, the idea of his 20-year old son out on the streets, doing...doing...that for something he thought he needed.

Jesus.

The doctors have told them that TK was lucky he was found when he was. Apparently, his dealer had fucked him over, given him much stronger drugs than TK normally took, causing him to overdose. On top of that, they’d been a bad batch, so TK wouldn’t have even had time to go looking for help if he’d known what was happening.

And there’s a thought niggling at Owen. He thought he knew his son, but looking at him now, he realises that he’s never been more wrong. Because Owen wonders whether or not TK would have gone for help if there was time, and he has no idea of the answer.

Heels click behind him, bringing him out of his thoughts. Owen knows what’s coming before Gwyn speaks, but he doesn’t try to stop her.

“Hasn’t this addiction don’t enough damage already?” she parrots, her tone cold and harsh.

Owen sighs. “Gwyn—”

“I accept my role in this, Owen,” she says, marching to stand on the other side of the bed, “but if you had just listened to me before then none of us would even be here. TK might not have been happy at rehab, but he wouldn’t be in a coma after almost dying either.”

“I know.”

“You know,” she scoffs. “Listen to me, Owen. We tried doing this your way, and look how it ended up. If—” Gwyn gasps and breaks off, sudden tears filling her eyes. She turns to look out the window for a moment, blinking hard, but she’s still not quite fully composed when she faces Owen again. “When he wakes up, we’re going to do what we should have done three weeks ago, and we are going to fix this.”

“I know,” Owen repeats, his voice a whisper. Gwyn seems startled by his ready acceptance, but Owen looks at TK’s pale, thin, bruised face, and he realises that a second chance is the last chance they’re going to get.

And he’s not going to lose his son.

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, sparkandwolf!

For @sparkandwolf, who asked for kid!fic, fluff and established relationship. Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Read On AO3

*****

The Kids are Not All Right

"You!"

"I won't eat with him!"

Startled by the simultaneous outbursts, Stiles looked at Derek and saw the same panic he was feeling.

"Excuse us," Derek said calmly, pushing his daughter back out the door. "We'll be outside for a moment." Derek took his eleven-year-old daughter out of the restaurant and Stiles saw them sit on a bench outside the door.

Stiles moved them to the far side of the lobby and squatted down to be able to look his son in the eye. "Ben. Talk to me."

"That's the know-it-all Harpy from math class," Ben said derisively. "I hate her!"

Stiles wanted to bang his head against the wall, but he knew that wouldn't be a good example. He had ignored Ben's grousing about one of the students in his advanced math class, assuming it was an academic rivalry. He should have asked for details. Or at least for a name other than 'Harpy.'

"Okay, buddy, this is what we're going to do," Stiles said. "If they come back in, I need you to be polite. You don't have to say anything other than please and thank you. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Got it?"

"Yeah, if I have to," Ben replied sullenly.

"Yes, you have to," Stiles said firmly.

"Geez, dad!" Ben sighed.

Stiles stood and ruffled Ben's hair. Ben ducked away from his hand and ran his hand through the hair to smooth it out. He looked out the window to see Derek still sitting on the bench with his daughter. He sighed.

"Wait here," Stiles said. He went to the door and poked his head out. "Do we need to re-schedule?"

"No," Derek said firmly. "We'll be fine."

The huff from the girl next to Derek let Stiles know Derek was in the same position he was in.

"I'll get a table?" Stiles asked.

"That would be good," Derek nodded. "We'll be in in a minute."

Stiles went back inside and collected Ben before going on to the hostess station. "We're four people and can we get a table?" He figured it would be better than a booth. "The other two are just outside."

"This way." The woman let them to a table in the center of the room. Luckily, the restaurant was slow and the table was big enough to let them sit two to a side.

"Sit there," Stiles pointed to a seat. He sat next to Ben. They ordered drinks and Stiles didn't protest when Ben ordered a milkshake, something that was usually a treat.

Derek came in and guided his daughter to the chair opposite Stiles. Derek sat across from Ben.

"Hi, I'm Stiles," he said. "Good to meet you, Erin."

"Hello." Erin didn't look up from her lap.

Stiles looked at Derek helplessly. He forged on. "Ben, this is Derek."

"Hello." At least Ben looked up at Derek.

The waitress came by with their drinks and took Derek and Erin's drink order. The waitress pointed out the list of specials on the wall and left. They sat in silence.

As Stiles took a breath to say something, he saw Derek shake his head.

Fortunately, the waitress came by with the rest of the drinks and they ordered food.

"Ladies first," Stiles said cheerfully. "Erin, what would you like?"

Ben fidgeted but didn't say anything when Erin ordered the bacon cheeseburger that Stiles knew Ben preferred. Ben ended up ordering the exact same thing and Stiles was pleased that Ben was pleasant to the waitress.

The meal was mostly silent although Erin did say unprompted, "Thank you for dinner Mr. Stiles," when Stiles took the bill for the group from the waitress.

"You're welcome, Erin," Stiles said softly.

"I'll call you?" Derek said as they were leaving.

Stiles nodded. "Yes." He looked down at Ben. "Later?"

"That works," Derek nodded.

In the car, Stiles said, "Can it wait until we get home. Please?" Ben was just under the height to be able to sit in the front seat of the car and Stiles didn't want his son shouting at the back of his head. Stiles had been short at that age, so he understood Ben's unhappiness with sitting in the back seat and on a booster seat. At nine, it was undignified.

"Yeah, I guess," Ben grumped and then crossed his arms.

Fortunately, it was a short ride home and Stiles had them seated at the kitchen table with milk and cookies.

"Okay, tell me about Erin," Stiles said.

"She's such a pain," Ben complained. "She's a know-it-all in class and she constantly tells me I'm stupid."

"What does the teacher do?" Stiles asked.

"Tells her to stop, and she does for a while, but then she does it when the teacher isn't around," Ben said waved his arms. "Or she does it at lunch since we're in the same lunch period. She and her friends laugh at me all the time. But that's the only time I see them."

"And what did you do?" Stiles asked. He knew very well Ben was no saint.

Ben crossed his arms and got a mulish look on his face.

"Come on kid," Stiles coaxed. "I know you and you can give as good as you get."

"Well, maybe I gave her the wrong answer when she asked me for help," Ben admitted.

"Benjamin Marek Stilinski!" Stiles sighed gustily.

"She called me shorty. And she was showing off, saying she was better than me," Ben defended himself. "She should have checked it herself."

"Maybe she could have, but was that fair?" Stiles asked.

Ben slumped in his chair and stuffed a cookie in his mouth. "No," he mumbled.

"Okay, kid, enough for tonight," Stiles said. "Bath night."

"Yeah, I know," Ben admitted.

"Got everything ready for school in the morning?"

"I have to get my gym clothes out of the dryer," Ben admitted.

"Get that first, so you don't forget."

"I won't."

Stiles knew he wouldn't forget. For a kid, Ben was pretty fastidious. He never shied away from getting dirty, but he hated grimy gym clothes and brought them home to wash after no more than two wearings. Stiles remembered his gym clothes that had stayed in a locker for weeks on end, so he was faintly appreciative that Ben liked clean clothes. Ben had asked to learn how to do laundry and Stiles let him do most of his own clothes and the towels.

It took another hour and a half before Ben was in bed and Stiles could call Derek.

"What a mess," Stiles sighed.

"I know," Derek replied.

"I didn't even think they'd know each other," Stiles said. "Ben's two years behind Erin in school, except for that math class."

"He must be pretty good in math to be in that class," Derek said.

"He is!" Stiles had to smile. "Takes after his Aunt Lydia. She encouraged me to have him test into that class."

"Erin was happy to be asked to be in that class," Derek said. "It's pretty much all she talks about. Although, now that I know more, she was talking about Ben."

"And now they're at each other's throats," Stiles said. "And, hey, Ben's no saint and admits to adding to the feud."

"Erin admitted to the teasing," Derek replied.

"Now what do we do?" Stiles asked. "Do we force them together?"

"I don't know," Derek said. "Erin's normally a good kid. I don't know why Ben set her off like he did."

"Same here," Stiles agreed.

"I was going to see if you guys wanted to come with us for Christmas," Derek admitted. "We go to my mom's and I know your dad isn't too far away. Two, or three with your dad, more at the party won't make a difference."

"Ben and my dad would have loved that," Stiles replied wistfully.

"Umm... maybe we can do it anyway," Derek said. "I think traveling together may be too much to ask, but if you stay at your dad's then we can meet up at the party, at the very least. There'll be enough other kids that Erin and Ben don't have to play together."

"And we can spend some quality time together!" Stiles cheered. "I know my dad would love to have Ben to himself. Maybe we can plan a day with just us."

"Would your dad keep Ben for the night?" Derek asked.

"Definitely!" Stiles promised eagerly. He loved his kid, really. But he was tired of being cock-blocked by a nine-year-old.

"Let me double check with what my mom has planned and I'll make arrangements for a hotel room," Derek said. "Mom or Uncle Peter will keep Erin for the night, with no problem."

"Perfect!" Stiles smiled.

"Should we talk to that math teacher?" Derek asked. "According to Erin, she's been getting away with a lot in that class."

"And Ben's been egging her on," Stiles nodded. "It's only a couple of weeks to the Christmas break. I suspect things will be calmer for a bit. Let's see how the holidays go and if we have to, we can meet up with her after the first of the year."

"That was my thought," Derek agreed. "Just wanted to be on the same page with you."

"Always want to be with you," Stiles teased.

"Brat," Derek said softly.

"Your brat," Stiles replied. "Okay, let me call my dad and make sure he's available. Christmas is a Friday this year, so Monday or Tuesday night will probably be best for us to get away."

"Mom will probably do most of the party things through the weekend, so that should work," Derek replied. "You know what, I'll make a reservation for the two nights and we'll see what happens."

"You don't have to do that!" Stiles protested.

"It'll just be easier," Derek replied. "And if we spend Monday night, we don't have to hurry out on Tuesday."

"Oooohhh... early morning blow jobs!" Stiles grinned.

"Breakfast in bed," Derek said.

"You twisted my arm!" Stiles agreed.

"We still on for this Friday?" Derek asked.

"Definitely!"

"Okay, see you then!"

Stiles looked at a clock and it was still relatively early. He texted his dad. You available to talk? We'd like to come for Christmas.

The phone rang not five minutes later.

"Hey, daddio!"

"You're always welcome to come for Christmas," John said. "What's the occasion?"

"Can't I come home to see my dad?" Stiles asked.

"I know you better than that," John said.

Stiles laughed. "Well, of all the people in this world, I'm dating Derek Hale."

"Really? How did that happen?"

"Yeah, I don't believe it either," Stiles admitted. "We ran into each other at a work conference, remember when I went to Sacramento a couple of months ago? The supernatural conference where I picked up a couple new clients? Well, the next thing I know he's been stealth-dating me for a month."

"Only you!"

"Oh, don't worry, I took care of that!" Stiles promised. "Anyway, we've been dating long enough and, well, it looks kinda serious. So we thought we'd get our kids together."

"I know you don't let too many of your dates meet Ben, so I wouldn't be surprised to know Derek does the same with his kid," John replied. Stiles knew that, as Sheriff, his dad knew more about Erin's mother than he did, but that wasn't -- yet -- any of his business and Stiles didn't ask. He also rarely talked about Ben's mother, so there was that.

"It turns out that Ben already knows Erin from school," Stiles went on. "They're both in that advanced math class that Ben is taking."

"And?"

"And they hate each other," Stiles sighed. "They've been picking on each other in class. Name calling, teasing, a bit of bullying, that sort of thing."

"What about the teacher?" John asked.

"Evidently she's aware but some of it happens outside the classroom. Like the lunchroom. That's the only other place they'd be together," Stiles sighed. "Erin's two years ahead of Ben in school, so Derek and I were both surprised they knew each other."

"Almost reminds me of you and Lydia," John laughed.

"I never hated her," Stiles protested.

"Ah, but there's a thin line between love and hate, sometimes," John said.

"Well, at their ages it better not be love," Stiles groused.

"I don't know, that's about the same age you fixated on Lydia," John reminded him.

"Oh my god!" Stiles rolled his eyes. "Okay, back to the real reason I wanted to call. Derek's inviting us to the Hale Christmas party. I suspect his mom invites you and you just never go."

"True," John admitted.

"Well, if you and I and Ben go together, then, well..."

"You and Derek can have some canoodling time together," John said. Stiles could hear the smugness over the phone.

"Okay, we'd like some adult time together," Stiles admitted. "We know enough to behave at the party, but maybe Monday night, you could take Ben for the night so Derek and I can... canoodle."

"I should be able to do that," John agreed. "I have to check the schedule, but since I'm working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I should be able to have Monday night off..."

"And Tuesday?" Stiles put in quickly.

"And Tuesday," John laughed. "I'll think of something Ben and I can do together."

"Ben will love to spend time with his Pops," Stiles said. "So you won't have to do anything too special."

"I'll spoil my grandson any way I want," John declared.

"Yes, you will," Stiles agreed, not wanting his dad to change his mind. "If Monday doesn't work, Tuesday night works but just not as well."

"Got it," John agreed.

They worked through some logistics and moved on to more general topics before they hung up.

Dads pretty sure he can watch ben monday -- will let me know if he cant Stiles texted Derek, not knowing if he was up or possibly online with an overseas client. Derek's work managing archives for other packs had him working with clients all over the world. Although they worked odd hours, they found they both worked their schedule around the school day so they could be available for their kids.

Good Derek texted back as Stiles was crawling into bed.

Stiles made a deliberate effort to check in with Ben about his math class over the two weeks before the Christmas holiday. Erin had stopped teasing and had decided to ignore him completely, which Stiles had to consider a win. He went out on one date with Derek, getting the high school senior from down the street to watch Ben. They talked and texted regularly, and Stiles was really looking forward to the holidays. He and Derek both had their hands full, planning to finish up projects so they could be on holiday for the entire Christmas break.

"POPS!" Ben shrieked as he tumbled out of the car.

"Hey, kiddo!" John picked up Ben for a hug. "Good to see you!"

Stiles got their bags out of the car and called, "Ben, take your bag up to your room, please."

Ben ran back to Stiles, grabbed the bag and ran back to John. He grabbed John's hand, babbling away. Stiles could see John leaning in to listen. It was a good sight.

Stiles grabbed his bag and the bag with presents, following them into the house.

Ben and John were in the room Ben used when they stayed with John. When Stiles poked his head in, he pretended not to notice the new stack of books that 'innocently' sat on the bookcase against one wall. Ben had already pulled one down and they were sprawled on the bed, reading together.

Stiles went down to the kitchen to get something to eat. It had been only a two hour drive, so they hadn't stopped to eat on the way. Stiles eyed the food in the fridge, wondering how much was for them and how much of it his dad ate. But he and his dad had reached a more-or-less compromise on Stiles monitoring his dad's food -- as in, Stiles would stop -- when he went away to college. So Stiles ignored it and started to make himself a sandwich. He thought about it for a minute and made a plateful.

"You two want some food?" Stiles asked. John had Ben propped up in front of him on the bed as they read together.

Ben looked up. "Sure!"

"I made some sandwiches," Stiles said.

"That's what I planned for tonight," John admitted. "It was easiest if you got a late start or stuck in traffic."

"Ben, wash your hands before you come down," Stiles directed. Ben was good about the hand-washing in general, but Stiles also knew that being around his grandfather was exciting enough to make him forget.

"Okay!" Ben bounced off the bed and dashed into the bathroom. John got up slower and followed Stiles down the stairs.

"Grab something to drink," Stiles directed. "I poured some milk for Ben."

"You want a beer?"

"Sure, that would be good," Stiles nodded.

Ben came thundering down the stairs and Stiles shared a look with his dad. Yeah. Now I get it. Ben dropped into a chair and took a drink of the milk.

Stiles dropped a sandwich on Ben's plate.

"Can we go out for ice cream later?" Ben asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"I don't know, can we?" Stiles teased.

"D-a-a-a-d," Ben whined.

"I think ice cream is an excellent idea," John grinned.

"I should make both of you walk," Stiles play-pouted. "It would serve you both right."

"I suspect you want ice cream as much as your kid," John teased.

"Hey! Don't give away all my secrets!" Stiles protested.

Ben giggled.

They went to the local ice cream stand that re-opened for just the Christmas holidays. They had a variety of holiday flavored ice cream, as well as hot cocoa. There was a small line in front of the ordering window.

"Mint chip!" Ben requested.

"Just vanilla," John said.

"Okay, get a table and I'll wait for the cones," Stiles directed.

Stiles hadn't been in line too long when he saw Derek and Erin join the other line. Stiles waved at Derek, who smiled and waved back. Erin ignored him, but Stiles counted that as a minor win. He wanted to say 'join us' but he wasn't sure if the kids were quite up to that yet.

Stiles got their cones and took them over to the picnic table area off to one side.

"Did I see Derek in line?" John asked. "You could have invited him over."

"I almost did, but he had Erin with him and I wasn't going to force the kids together," Stiles said.

"Makes sense," John nodded.

Ben craned his neck, looking around. "She is here?"

"Erin is here with her dad and they're enjoying their own ice cream," Stiles said patiently.

"Okay." Ben went back to his ice cream.

John had to work the next day, so Stiles and Ben settled in front of the television, each with a book. They were eating lunch when Stiles knew he had to talk to Ben.

"Tomorrow night is Christmas Eve and we're invited to a party at the Hale house," Stiles said. "There will be lots of people, both humans and 'weres. There will also be a bunch of kids of different ages. Which means Derek and Erin will also be there. You are not required to play with Erin but you are required to be polite. You can leave the room if you need to and come and find me or your Pops. No magic, no matter what. You're old enough to control that and you will be expected to do so."

Ben's magic was still intermittent. He couldn't always control what happened, so Stiles had worked with Ben in funneling it into something benign -- like sparks or a bright light. Ben was pretty decent at simply not doing anything, which at his age was a good thing. Stiles did not want to see what his teen-age years would bring.

"Can't I just stay here?" Ben whined.

"No, you cannot, since your Pops will be coming, too," Stiles said. "He won't be able to stay long since he has to work because he didn't know we were coming until the last minute. If he stays home, it's not fair to the people who planned to have off."

"Geez," Ben sighed.

"There will be enough kids that you won't have to spend any time with Erin," Stiles said.

"I guess," Ben reluctantly agreed.

"And on Monday, I'm going out with Derek, so it'll be you and your Pops all night," Stiles said.

"Really?" Ben brightened up.

"Yes, really," Stiles replied.

Ben threw his arms around Stiles. "Okay, I'll behave at your stupid party."

"There will be lots of good food," Stiles tried.

"There better be," Ben muttered. "Wait, do I have to get dressed up?"

"Okay, for that I have a surprise," Stiles said. "Come on." He took Ben upstairs and Stiles brought out a package he had placed in the closet. "For you."

"Christmas isn't until Friday," Ben said suspiciously.

"Open it," Stiles said.

Ben carefully unstuck the tape and unwrapped the box. He shook it for a second but it didn't make any noise. "This better not be underwear," he muttered.

Stiles bit back a snicker. That was in a different box.

Ben dug through the tissue paper to bring out... a relatively tasteful, deep blue Christmas sweater. He looked at it, puzzled.

Stiles reached into the closet and brought out the adult version of the sweater on a hanger, this one in bright red. "This is mine and I got the same thing in green for your Pops."

"Da-a-a-a-d..."

"Come on, humor your old man," Stiles teased. "Besides, you don't want your Pops to be the only one with a snazzy Christmas sweater."

Ben looked at the sweaters. "It could be worse, I guess."

"That's the spirit!" Stiles cheered. "Come on, let's make Grandma's meatloaf for dinner to surprise Pops."

"Okay!" That Ben could get behind.

John was pleased to see the meatloaf, since he rarely made it for himself. After dinner they made popcorn and watched the first Home Alone movie. At Ben's bedtime, John and Ben read a couple of chapters of the book they started the other day.

"Don't think I didn't see all those new books on the bookcase," Stile said when John came back downstairs.

"He's a kid," John laughed. "He's your kid and he reads as much as you did... do. It's not a big deal."

"I know, just saying," Stiles replied. "Don't want you to think you're getting away with anything."

John just laughed.

Stiles had Ben give John the wrapped sweater as they were getting ready for the party. Stiles knew his dad had to work later, but could change in the locker room at work. John gave a grin when he saw the deep green sweater.

"Pops! See! Your sweater matches mine and dad's!" Ben pointed out the obvious.

"That's pretty cool," John said. "We're going to be the best looking people there!"

Ben nodded.

John took the cruiser since he'd have to leave earlier than Stiles planned to leave. There were already a number of cars in the extended driveway and John parked closer to the street so that he would be sure to get out. Stiles found a spot in the middle of the set of cars and he and Ben waited for John to join them.

"Welcome!" Cora Hale met them at the door. "Come in!" She pointed. "Coats can go there, if you need. There are snacks and things everywhere. Drinks are in the den. There will be a buffet set up out back in about an hour and a half." She looked down at Ben. "There's a group of kids playing board games on the back porch that might be about your age. Enjoy!"

"Thanks," Stiles nodded. "Want to check out the board games?"

Ben shrugged. "Sure. I guess."

John laughed. "I'm going to see who else is here so I can get that out of the way."

"Good enough," Stiles said.

There were nine or ten kids about Ben's age playing a couple of games on the back porch. There was a table in the corner with a small variety of snacks and bottles of water. A group of three boys were playing Yahtzee, of all things, and Ben gravitated toward that table. "You okay here?" Stiles asked.

Ben nodded.

"Okay, I'll be around somewhere," Stiles promised. "Come find me if you need anything."

"Okay," Ben said.

Stiles grabbed a handful of mixed nuts from a bowl on a table in the hall. He never had nuts in the house since he knew he'd eat the entire container, no matter the size, in essentially one sitting. And have the stomach-ache to prove it.

Talia Hale was in the living room and Stiles made a point of stopping and saying hello and thanking her for inviting him to their party.

"If I knew inviting you would get your father to come, I'd have asked you years ago!" Talia laughed.

"You know dad, he has to work later," Stiles grinned. "Working overnight means we've cut his afternoon nap shorter."

"Ah! That makes sense," Talia nodded. "We'll have to hope for a quiet night for him."

"Now you've jinxed it!" Stiles laughed. "Although he has said Christmas Eve really is quieter. People tend to stay closer to home, and the weather looks to be decent. So quiet is the goal."

"Good to know," Talia said. "I hear you're dating Derek."

Stiles knew he blushed with that. "Umm... yeah. We met a while back and, well, seem to hit it off." Stiles shrugged. "He's a good guy."

"And you have a... son?" Talia persisted.

"Yes, Ben. He's nine. He's on the back porch playing Yahtzee. He likes dice games or games of pure chance, so that was good to find. He'll be happy all night if someone will play with him."

"Interesting," Talia murmured, almost to herself. "Well, I'm glad to meet you. Bring Ben by at some point, I'd like to meet him."

"I will," Stiles replied. He excused himself and went off to the den to get a drink. While there were options for 'adult' beverages, he never indulged when he would have Ben in the car. He grabbed a cherry flavored seltzer and moved on to the kitchen.

"Smells good in here," Stiles said. Derek turned around and smiled at him. Stiles smiled back.

"Pay attention!" Peter barked at him. "You can make heart-eyes at Stiles later when nothing's going to burn."

Derek grimaced and turned back to what he was doing on a stove. Stiles perched at the breakfast bar and watched Derek as he alternately stirred three pots and worked on something in the huge skillet in front of him. Stiles snacked on the appetizers placed on the bar.

Stiles saw Peter carving a huge roast of beef off to one side.

"Anything I can do?" Stiles asked.

"Thank you, not right now," Peter said. "But you can help with carrying things in about fifteen minutes."

"That works for me," Stiles agreed. He watched Peter move on to a huge ham and then to a turkey. Damn! He'd come here for Christmas all the time.

Peter peered into the pots on the stove and had Derek take a couple off the heat and start pouring them into bowls and serving dishes.

"Okay, it's nice enough that the food is going outside," Peter said. "The cold dishes are already out there. Here are some pot holders and you can take this tray of meat outside. You'll see a place to put it." Peter pushed the pot holders toward Stiles.

"Got it," Stiles nodded. He took the tray and went out the side door. The buffet table was close by and there was, as Peter said, an obvious place for his tray of meat.

They spent the next fifteen minutes getting the food outside. Peter leaned over and said, "I'm going to let everyone know, but you and Derek can go ahead and get started. You'll be ahead of the crowd and thank you for helping."

Stiles juggled two plates, one for himself and one for Ben. Ben would wander by at some point and nothing on the plate desperately needed to be kept hot. So lukewarm would be fine.

"Hey! Where's mine?" John said from over Stiles' shoulder.

"That's for Ben," Stiles defended the plate. "I helped, so you have to get your own!"

"Oh, that's the way it is!" John laughed.

"It is!" Stiles grinned.

It took a bit before John was able to get a plate and join him at the table he had staked out. That was when Ben came running up. "Did you get me a plate?"

"Yes, I did," Stiles said. "Eat what you want. There's plenty."

"Can I... can I go and eat with the guys?" Ben asked.

"Sure," Stiles nodded.

"Thanks, Dad. See you, Pops." Ben grabbed the plate and ran off to sit with the boys Stiles assumed he had been playing games with.

"So it starts," Stiles sighed. "I get left alone for 'the guys'."

"Yeah," John grinned.

"What goes around, comes around," Stiles grinned.

Peter put a plate on the table. "Is this seat taken?"

"Please, join us," Stiles said. "This is excellent food!"

"Glad you like it!" Peter smiled.

"It is good," John added with a smile toward Peter. "You made my favorite potato dish, too."

Peter smiled back. Wait. What? Stiles looked between the two men, who were sitting closer together than strictly required.

"Umm..." He waved a fork between them, then put it down. "You know what, I don't want to know."

"Good choice," John said. But Stiles could see he was blushing.

Derek came over and sat next to Stiles. Stiles leaned into Derek and asked softly, "Are they dating or something?"

"I can hear you, you know," Peter said.

Derek leaned back. "I think more something, but I also think you don't want to know."

"Okay, I can work with that," Stiles laughed.

There was a separate dessert buffet but John would have to leave before that was set up. Peter promised to bring desserts to the station later, supposedly for everyone who was working the overnight shift.

"La la la la," Stiles sung. "I don't want to know anything!"

Peter grinned.

Stiles pitched with several others to help pick up after the meal. Peter set up a small buffet in the kitchen for late-comers. Or anyone that wanted to snack. Stiles knew 'wolves could eat their weight in food on a regular basis.

"Go away," Peter shoo'd them out of the kitchen. "You're here to enjoy yourselves."

Derek took Stiles' hand and started to take him outside.

"Oh, look!" Derek pointed up, trying to look innocent. "Mistletoe."

"Isn't that poisonous to 'wolves?" Stiles was puzzled. Then he looked closer. "Ah. It's plastic."

"It's still mistletoe," Derek pointed out hopefully.

"It is at that!" Stiles grinned. "And you're standing underneath it. I guess I have to kiss you."

Derek nodded solemnly, eyes dancing. "It is a tradition!"

Stiles leaned in for a soft kiss. Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles and deepened the kiss.

"Dad! Gross!" That was Ben.

"Dad! Yuchh!" And Erin was on the other side of them.

Stiles could feel Derek laughing in the kiss. Stiles broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Derek's. Stiles could see Ben's horrified face and he turned slightly to see the same look on Erin's face.

Derek drew Stiles back in for a quick kiss.

"Dad!" Erin protested.

"That is so gross," Ben muttered.

Stiles deliberately gave Derek a small kiss. "Is this gross?"

Ben groaned. "Yes!"

Catching on, Derek gave Stiles a soft kiss on one cheek. "How about this?"

Erin hissed.

Stiles pretended to consider. He leaned over and rubbed his cheek against Derek's. "Is scenting like this okay?"

"No!" Erin protested.

Derek placed a hand on the side of Stiles face. He leaned in firmly kissed Stiles. "What about that?"

"Da-a-a-a-d-d... Stop it!" Ben whined.

Stiles leaned into the kiss and opened his mouth, tangling tongues with Derek.

"No! I won't stand for it!" Erin said. "I'm leaving."

"Yuchh... I can't watch any more!" Ben muttered. There was some not-so-subtle stomping of feet that Stiles ignored, since he was busy kissing Derek.

Derek ended the kiss softly, nuzzling into Stiles' hair.

"I think they left together," Stiles whispered.

"They did," Derek nodded.

"Huh."

"Not sure it solves the problem, but it's a start," Derek agreed.

"It is," Stiles agreed. Since they had the hallway to themselves, he went back to kissing Derek.

Christmas was relatively quiet, since his dad had to work. Stiles and Ben slept in and Stiles made pancakes for them both to watch in front of the television. Stiles threw together an 'egg pie' for his dad to have when he got home. Stiles had called a quiche an 'egg pie' at one point when he was younger and the name had stuck. But John appreciated the food after the long Christmas Eve shift. Tonight's shift wouldn't be quite as long, but he ate quickly and went off to sleep.

They waited for dinnertime, when John was finally up, to open presents. Ben had out-grown Santa early, so opening presents didn't need to be done at the crack of dawn.

John had given a book of magic that Stiles had been looking for. "Oh, you had Peter find this, didn't you?" Stiles asked.

John shrugged. "It's something you wanted, isn't it?"

"He tell you what he paid for it?" Stiles knew how much this specific book was worth, so he frowned at the thought of what his dad paid.

"I repaid him, don't worry," John grinned.

Stiles thought he detected a small blush. "Okay, I don't want to know," Stiles decided.

Ben was enthusiastic about his own books and video games but did groan at the box of underwear from Stiles. Especially since some of it was fandom related. The Iron Man briefs and the Wonder Woman t-shirt were Stiles' personal favorites. (He may or may not have looked for the same items in adult sizes.)

They ate too much food and stayed up too late but that made it a fun holiday. The rest of the weekend passed similarly.

"Okay, you be good for your Pops," Stiles said to Ben. "I'm not going far away but Derek and I are going to do some adult things together."

"Like kissing?" Ben was horrified.

"Yes, like kissing," Stiles grinned. And more...

"Then go away and do it," Ben said, making a face.

Stiles laughed. "I'll have my cell phone but you should be fine," he said.

"Pops can take care of anything," Ben said staunchly.

"Yes, he can," Stiles nodded. "Don't have too much fun."

"We won't," Ben rolled his eyes. "Just go."

Stiles ruffled his hair and laughed as he left the room. Derek was picking him up shortly.

"Safe, sane, and consensual," John said.

"I should be making sure you're doing the same thing," Stiles retorted.

John grinned.

There was a knock at the door and Stiles went to answer it. Derek looked good in well-fitted jeans, a sweater with snowflakes and a leather jacket. Stiles grabbed the backpack he was using as an overnight bag. "Ready!"

"Don't have too much fun!" John said as they went out the door.

Stiles laughed. "I just told that to my kid! So, where are we going?"

"I figure I could woo you with curly fries," Derek grinned.

"My hero!"

"Thought a meal would be good," Derek said. "I have a room at Flanigan's B&B for tonight and tomorrow. So we can stay as long as we want tomorrow."

"Ooohhh... fancy!" Stiles teased. He leaned in and kissed Derek. "But very nice."

They got to the diner and Stiles ordered a basket of curly fries before the waitress got to take their drink order. "What? You promised me curly fries!" Stiles said when Derek sighed at him.

"Erin asked about kissing," Derek said.

"I told Ben we were would be doing adult things tonight, and he asked if we'd be kissing," Stiles admitted. "He was properly horrified."

"So was Erin," Derek nodded.

"I don't know how to deal with this," Stiles said. "I thought maybe they'd be stand-offish or cool, which I could see with the age and gender differences. But I really don't know how to address this."

"Well, I'm thinking we just make them deal with it," Derek said.

"Of the 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all' dealing?"

"Exactly," Derek nodded. "At some point, either they'll bond over being horrified by the kissing or they'll at least be polite in front of us. And we come down hard on both of them if there's any bullying."

"That's reasonable," Stiles said. He took Derek's hand. "I was going to wait until later but I wanted to ask if you would consider moving in with me? I have room for both you and Erin in my house, and I can partition off a room in the basement so we each have an office."

"I'll see your moving in together and raise you one," Derek got a small, crinkly package out of his jacket pocket and put it on the table in front of Stiles. "Marry me?"

The waitress put the first basket of curly fries down -- Stiles had ordered another with is dinner -- and their drinks.

"See? There is a perfect moment in life!" Stiles gushed. He leaned in for a kiss. "Yes, I will marry you. I promise to be properly enthusiastic later, but... well... hot curly fries!"

"You dork," Derek smiled.

Stiles reached for the unbox-like package and unwrapped it. "A ring pop! Oh, that's perfect!" Stiles slipped it on his thumb.

Derek blushed. "I thought maybe we'd look for something we like together. But, well, I didn't want to wait any longer."

Stiles had to kiss him again. "Perfect. Now, hot curly fries wait for no man!"

It was late Tuesday afternoon before Derek took Stiles back to his dad's house. Stiles felt properly exhausted and loved, and he thought Derek looked the same.

They parked in the driveway and Stiles leaned if for another kiss. "Want to come in or should you get home?"

Derek debated but decided, "I should get home. I promised Erin we'd go for pizza tonight."

"Not a problem," Stiles nodded. "I'll talk to Ben tonight and call you later?"

"That works," Derek agreed.

Stiles sappily watched Derek pull out of the driveway and pull away.

He went into the house and Ben charged down the stairs. "Dad! You're home!" He leaped into Stiles' arms.

"Oof! You're getting kinda big for that," Stiles said as he hugged Ben firmly. He had taught Ben the 'Stilinski hug' from the very beginning and Ben gave great hugs.

"Have a good time?" John asked as he came out of the kitchen.

Stiles nodded, smiling. "The best!"

John looked at him. "Umm... looks like a very good time."

Stiles knew he had a love bite on his neck but he was kind of proud of getting Derek to lose control enough to give it to him. Stiles grinned. "It was!"

"Pops said we could order pizza tonight!" Ben said.

"He did, did he?" Stiles teased.

"He did." John said firmly. "And I've already put in the order, so you can't mess with it."

"Too happy to care," Stiles sighed.

"I know that look," John said, frowning.

Stiles grinned then put Ben down. He knelt to be at eye-level with Ben. "I know you won't be happy about all of this, but Derek and I have decided that we're getting married and moving in together."

"More kissing?" Ben rolled his eyes.

"Yes."

Ben sighed. "Pops and I talked about it and, well, I guess it's an adult thing I don't understand yet." Then he paused and his eyes went wide. "Erin will live with us?"

"Yes," Stiles said. "She'll get the guest bedroom and Derek will sleep with me."

Ben mulled that over for a bit then shrugged. "Okay."

Stiles was surprised. "Just okay?"

He got a sly look. "Pops said that might happen, although he didn't think it would happen like right now, so I've had a chance to think about it. At least she's smart."

Stiles shook his head. "Thanks, buddy. I appreciate that."

"Come here, kid," John hauled Stiles up and drew him into a warm hug. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks," Stiles replied into his shoulder, inexplicably overwhelmed by emotion. He drew back. "Just a small thing with friends and family. Probably closer to Easter break so we can take the kids with us on a vacation. They can afford to miss some school, but we're not going to abuse that."

"We get to go?" Ben asked, surprised.

"Sure," Stiles promised. "You won't get to go with us all the time, but we've already decided the first vacation includes you and Erin."

"I can live with that," Ben nodded.

After Ben went to bed, Stiles sat down with his dad. "I know we didn't get to do this with Ben's mom. That was so different..."

"I know," John nodded. "Neither of you expected Suzanne to get pregnant and then not telling you that she was engaged to someone else wasn't fair to you."

"That was a hard moment, but it was harder when I finally realized she didn't want Ben at all," Stiles said softly. "I've toned that down for Ben, but he's going to ask some tough questions about his mom some day. I'm not looking forward to that discussion."

"He knows how much you love him," John assured him. "Just keep at it and it'll be okay in the end."

"Thanks," Stiles replied softly.

"So, wedding plans?" John asked.

"Oh, I'm just going to throw it all at Lydia and let her have her way with it," Stiles laughed. "But we want to keep it simple and just the immediate family will be there. If we start inviting pack or our friends it'll be huge. And we'll come back here for the ceremony. Derek did admit he'd like to have the ceremony in the Preserve."

"Sounds like a plan," John nodded.

It wasn't necessarily easy, but Stiles and Derek made it work. Ben and Erin were polite at first but mostly ignored each other. By the time of the wedding, they were reasonably friendly, which as much as Derek and Stiles could ask for. They were already house-hunting since Stiles' house was okay but they agreed that more space would be better.

At the reception, Stiles heard a familiar groan of gross from Ben and he had to see what that was all about.

Stiles caught his dad and Peter snickering while kissing in a small alcove near the kitchen.

"Ewww.... gross," Stiles teased as he shook a finger at them. "Come on kid, Derek and I can do better than that!"

"Aww, dad, do you have to?" Ben protested.

Stiles caught Derek looking at him with a promise of more than kissing in his eyes.

"Oh, yeah! I do!" Stiles smiled.

[ailuronymy]

Book Club: Tallstar’s Revenge, chpt. 37-45 overview.

Two highly professional gravediggers observe the job ahead of them:

“I'd like to congratulate us both on finishing this godawful book! A whole super edition in five weeks. They said it couldn't be done, but we showed them. “ - S

“Yes! It's truly miraculous that our brains are intact still.” - K

“So glad it's over, though.” - S

“Should I grab the shovel?” - K

“Yes, it's time. Let's bury this corpse.” - S

In this final week of reading Tallstar’s Revenge, we will be thinking about these final nine questions. Well done for making it this far! We hope you’ve enjoyed the ride. 

When you’re ready, consider sharing your thoughts with #ailuronymy book club and see what other readers are thinking!

1. First impressions?

K: It's bad! It's bad. It's all bad and I'm not surprised by any of it. K: I was actually expecting there to be more bullshit in the end, but I was almost... let down? By how underwhelming it was? S: Some moments surprised me a little but like... these did not spark joy. K: It was so boring. S: I have that same note: huge anticlimactic fuckery at the end. K:  If you're going to torture me, you might as well make it interesting, Erin. K: Throw in a wild plot twist or something. K: Get me going. K: Make me feel alive.

2. How did you feel reading this section? K:  Mind numb, head empty. For like, at least three chapters I read them and then failed to register anything important for the notes. It just dragged on. S:  More bored than I expected to be! I thought it'd at least ramp up a little, but it very much did not in any meaningful way and really petered out with a sad little "wuh-wuh."

3. What chapter did you find most interesting/moving/effective, and why? K: Chapter Forty, seeing all of the clanmates that I'd been missing for half the book felt so satisfying. I missed Dawnstripe, Heatherstar, Barkface, and Hopkit all so much. The only good bit. S:  I feel that. S:  For me, I think in terms of sheer pleasure, it has to be the echoes I saw from turn to dust all that I adore in Talltail swimming in a time of crisis. K: Yes! S: It made that passage I wrote feel retroactively so much more intense and significant, which I love.

4. What chapter did you find least interesting/effective/most frustrating, and why?

K:  The final chapter, Chapter Forty-Seven. That leader ceremony was so bad and I hated all of it. K: The Shadowclan battle was also mind-numbing. S: I think it's got to be the jump from first apprentice to leader ceremony. That's so much life we don't see, which given how goddamn long the book took for the rest of his very boring life is a travesty. S:  I tend to take some umbrage with Starclan whenever it shows up in canon, but in this particular case, the way that his leader ceremony is handled--especially by Palebird and Sandgorse--is horrific. S:  I also think it's appalling that Sandgorse offers a life of forgiveness, but never once asks for it from Talltail, unless I'm mistaken? S: He thinks he can embody forgiveness, but doesn't have the humility to admit to the things that he had done wrong by Talltail. Egregious.

5. Is there a passage that stuck in your mind–for good, or not-so-good reasons? What is it, and why did it stand out? S:  I think for me, this is Sandgorse's everything in the leader ceremony. I think I'll just [my whole rant just now + thoughts on forgiveness]. K:  I had two specific quotes from this go that fit I think. K:  First was: "I guess Clan cats aren’t used to leaving home.” Jake sounded amused. “I know the feeling you’re having. The nagging pain, the tug in my pelt and paws? I get that whenever I’m away from my home too long.” “Really?” Talltail blinked. “Why?” “Every creature needs to belong somewhere,” Jake told him. “Your paws know where that is, even if you don’t.” K:  Just the phrase of "Every creature needs to belong somewhere" felt so genuine and sweet coming from Jake, and I think could have felt so much more impactful if the themes we've recognized were more evident in the story. K:  The second was: “Talltail!” Dawnstripe leaped from the Meeting Hollow. “You came back!” Delight lit up her eyes. Talltail stood still as she raced to meet him. “I couldn’t stay away.” She stopped in front of him and gazed warmly into his eyes. “Then my training wasn’t wasted.” “It was never wasted,” he meowed softly. “Not once.

S: YES K: Partially because I will always be soft for Dawnstripe, but also, the genuine tenderness between her and Talltail in this moment felt so real and so earned. K: This is what I wanted from Bluestar and Stonepelt. S: I've said it before, I'll say it again: mentor+apprentice relationships For Life. K: Talltail saying that his training with Dawnstripe was never wasted, and then immediately transitioning into him encouraging and being a positive role model for Deadkit? K:  Ugh. It's so good. S: Loved it.

6. What other non-Warriors (or Erin Hunter affiliated) books does this one remind you of? Are there themes, symbolism, or storybeats in this novel that made you think of other stories as you read it?

K:  Oh, great question. K:  Oh shit, you know what. S: Hit me. K: We've got a Book Club classic coming at you. K: The Knife of Never Letting Go, by our mutual bastard Patrick Ness. S: You know, I was thinking about More Than This. But mostly because of how much I hated it. K: TKNLG's big theme revolves around like, what murder does to you and what it feels like to do an unspeakable act that you can't retract or replace. Revenge and anger become a part of you and you've got to deal with that. K:  And it's been ages since I read it, but I feel like that makes a lot of sense for this book. Todd and Talltail both spend a book with things being taken from them and wrongs being done to them, and it makes them so angry and hurt and desperate that eventually they go "Okay, yeah, murder would be a solution here." And when it comes down to it they both get to make that choice, of what they want to put out into the world and what kind of man they want to be. S:  I like that. I haven't read it myself, but I can definitely see how those themes talk to one another. S: I don't think there's a particular story I can pinpoint that is similar to this one, but I can think of stories that echo what I'd like this story to have leaned into more. S: Being about forgiveness and family trauma, it reminds me both of The Goblin Emperor and also the How To Train Your Dragon films? Especially the first film, I think. That whole undercurrent of absent mother, disdainful and frustrated father, queer-coded and different kid feels very present in Tallstar's Revenge. S: However, I think HTTYD does that a lot better than this book, by a considerable length.

7. Did this novel (or the experience of reading it) change your perspective on anything, either within the world of Warriors or outside it? What do you think about differently now?

 K: Hm. I think it's certainly limited my excitement on reading any future Super Editions books. They all seem to be just the same garbage plot wrapped with slightly different bows, and that's both disappointing and relieving. S: I feel you on that. S: I think for me, the single biggest shift is that it's changed how I think of Tallstar. For me, he was probably my favourite leader--or one of my favourites--growing up reading the books, and he came across often as wise and relaxed, and then made that final defining mistake. S: Having come back and read this, I feel that the book stripped a lot from the character in a way that wasn't constructive. I don't feel like I know him better, but I do feel like I respect him less. And I think that's a monumental failure of a prequel. K: Tallstar had such a specific presence in the original series, and this book just really takes a lot of that away and replaces it with something worse. S: It does. And that's disheartening to me. S:  Of course I can and will kill the author myself and take my place on the throne of canon, but you can't unknow details of a character. So that does change things. I don't have the same fondness for Talltail, now that I know he spent so much time being unadmirable and stupid and boring. S:  I recognise that your twenties is like that for most people, but like. Doesn't mean it's worthy of a narrative. S:  Kind of makes me think of Albus Dumbledore, to swing back around to Joke Rowling? S: Like, despite and sometimes because of how phenomenally jank and flawed that magnificent man is, I love Albus Dumbledore. I always have, ever since I was first listening to the tapes. And part of that is knowing his past--knowing that he struggled figuring out what was right, knowing that he fell in love very young with someone whose ideology became incompatible with his core beliefs and virtues. But I think you can allude to past mistakes and show growth without having to delve into it, if that makes sense. S: If I read about teen Dumbledore being like "hmm maybe wizard supremacy is good" for several chapters, there's a strong possibility that would stain all my readings of him into the future. I can know he did something, without needing a front-row seat. K: Yeah. S: And I feel like the crux failure of Erin Hunter's super editions is they don't have the delicacy or sense needed to know what needs to be told and what needs to be shown. S: Because sometimes, showing is worse. K: Being shown like, all of this, was worse than not. S: Nearly all of this book could have been summary.

8. Last week, we talked about predicted endings for the novel. In light of that, how do you feel about the ending? Was your prediction correct–and do you feel that reflects well on the narrative, or poorly? (i.e., is it good that you could guess, or are you disappointed by the result?) How important is it for an ending to be “unguessable”?

K:  We hit the nail on the head and I am not surprised at all. S:  I would say we were basically correct, but it brought me no joy. K:  Yeah, it felt bad to read and go "I already knew this but sure, disappoint me with what you have to say." S: That's not to say I would have been overjoyed if there had been some bizarre twist, because I don't think twists or shock endings are inherently good storytelling. K:  They're not. They've gotta be handled well to make me feel like, "Fuck yes, this is wack and I want more" K:  And like, you can predict an ending and still have it be satisfying! K:  That's just called successful foreshadowing. K:  But what we did was like. Just have the sad, knowledgable wherewithal to know exactly what kind of inane and soulless bullshit Erin would pull. It's not foreshadowing if it's just "you're a bad writer and you're going to reach for the easiest tropes to tie up your story without any thought about what makes it good" S: As a general rule, I think you should be able to predict endings based on the tone and emotional themes of the story. For instance, a story that starts with someone getting thrown out of their house by their unloving family should, ideally, rectify that by ending with that person having either found a new loving family and/or revenging on the previous bad family. Sometimes both! S: If you're going to start an arc, you should finish it in a satisfying place. If you start with a murder being discovered, you should have a denouement at the end. S: So... I guess Erin Hunter's ending is... fine, in that light? S: Their narrative is honestly very muddled, so it's not super easy to actually see what the through-line of the story is. The story starts with a prophecy about Talltail leaving, so really it should end with his triumphant, enlightened return... but then it keeps going. K: It just drags on and so much of it feels weightless. S:  It feels like they're juggling a lot of themes and ideas, but they're not really doing any of it well enough to be impressive. While I'm reading, there's always this deep uncomfortable sense of anything could be dropped at any minute. A good performer of any kind makes you feel safe in their hands, not lowkey on edge. S: It's like watching amateur stand-up.

9. In your opinion, what is the most important moment or event in this final chunk of story, and why?

 K:  I guess the cliche answer would be to say "Tallstar choosing to return to Windclan", but like. I think that really is the most important part of all this. S:  I think it's actually choosing not to kill Sparrow. K:  Oh, I mean. Okay that's fair lmao S:  Because I think he probably could have gone back after he killed Sparrow and everyone still would have been basically fine about it. It didn't seem like anyone cared enough to try to stop him leaving, and frankly the clans as Erin Hunter writes them are mad blasé about murder. S:  But I think in order for Talltail to retain like, some moral worth as a character, it was vital (if super inevitable) for him to not kill Sparrow. K:  Absolutely. K:  Can you imagine if he had, though. K:  Like, if he'd pushed Sparrow off the ledge and went "sick" and then Sandgorse's ghost showed up to razz him with airhorns like 'YOU IDIOT SON, THAT WAS THE WRONG CHOICE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DISAPPOINT ME AGAIN' S: Om.  S:  [that one video of the guy screaming above the mountains] S:  That's Starclan whenever the living make a bad decision.

Bonus question: choose a different character from Tallstar’s Revenge and briefly imagine what this story would be if they were the protagonist instead.

K: Hm. I'm torn. Barkface, or maybe Reena, would be interesting to me. S:  I think Reena's experience would be super interesting. K:  I think you could tell a really interesting narrative with her. S:  I'm sort of thinking Shrewclaw? Like, he's such a dick and there's very little about him that's redeemable, but like. This is also true of Talltail for a lot of the book. S: And I guess an external clan perspective of Talltail from someone who actively dislikes him could be kind of interesting! It'd definitely be a totally new counterpoint. K:  Yeah! Especially given that they end up kind of being... foils? A little? I think it could be super neat to like, see Shrewclaw reprimand Talltail for being so focused on revenge, and then suddenly becoming revenge-minded himself and then having to grapple with that hypocrisy. K:  Either by going "My feelings are different, I'm not like you," or going "oh shit oh fuck we're the same and now i feel all sorts of ways about it" S:  I think the low-hanging fruit for why Shrewclaw is such a prick to Talltail is just plain homophobia, you know? But that's so boring, so I'd definitely want to tap into like, the inner world of Shrewclaw and swing it a different way. S: See Talltail through his eyes, emphasising everything Shrewclaw doesn't like about himself. Which becomes so tasty when you later think about Mudclaw doing something similar. S:  Shrewclaw has to grow from hate and jealousy to grudging respect and kinship within the clan, and then Mudclaw grows from outright respect to total adoration. It's an interesting intergenerational trajectory.

Final notes.

S: God, can we rewind a moment to the whole Sparrow bullshit. K:  Oh 100%. S:  Talltail obsesses over this for like, at least twenty chapters. And then two lines of dialogue and he's like, "I'm cured, my dad was a hero the whole time." S:  “It’s what Sandgorse would do.” Now that the rage had gone, Talltail wondered how he could ever have thought of killing Sparrow. Had grief taken away all his faith in the warrior code?” MY rage is still right here. K:  Literally one of my notes is: K:  Talltail straight up telling him he’s here to kill him like a coward. Like not that I WANT him to be a murderer, but god damn, just do it! K:  If you're gonna spend an entire fucking book yelling about how badly you wanna kill a guy then just! Don't make me wait this goddamn long! Do it!! K:  And yeah, just. Redeeming Sandgorse. BLeughghelfuf

S:  Okay, another point of rage: Talltail literally dissolves the goodwill between the travellers and the clan. K:  Y E A H S:  Like, years of peaceful gathering, destroyed. S:  Note: "This dude literally just ended years of peace over his petty revenge quest" K:  I do find it hilarious though that Talltail goes "Hey we should leave," Reena goes "Hm?? No you dont?" and then Sparrow comes in with the most uncomfortable, exhausted expression saying "No He's Right They Really Should Be Going And Should Never Come Back Thanks," S: I'm also so pissed that when Talltail showed up, the travellers were like, “Warriors and kittypets don’t belong with rogues” AND YET you stay for a whole month or more in clan territory? What ripe fuckery is this. K: YEAH IT MADE NO SENSE S: Everyone's just ambiguously racist enough to use it as an excuse whenever they don't want to do something.

S: Also: we called it re: Reena, although the story was actually less obnoxious than I was expecting. S: “There was sympathy in the she-cat’s mew, and Talltail suddenly wondered if Reena had been hoping that Talltail would be her mate: that they’d have kits and travel together. Had she started to imagine a whole new life ahead of them?” Ew.  K:  i was gonna say K:  We really did call it. S: Way to project, Talltail. S: "I guess she's in love with me and I'm breaking her heart by leaving because of the elaborate future she's imagined of our strong, brave kits and--" calm down, boy, she didn't say any of that. K: Yeah, like. Keep it inside, buddy.   K:  There was a lot of very wild Jake/Talltail shit going on but I'm going to drop this from my notes first before dipping into the bits I did like: K: Jake saying “oh that drive to kill wasn’t REALLY you” is VERY “what if I date this unhinged maniac man so I can change him and make him better because I know who he is deep down” and that is VERY unsexy of you, Erins, K:  Jake... my boy.... S: Yeah.  S:  I'm just going to keep pointing at the advice I gave him in previous Book Clubs. Respect yourself, king. K:  I did briefly look at the disastrous mini-comic at the end of the PDF and I do love that he's canonically a chubby king, though. S:  We do love that. A cuddly boy. K:  He's shaped like a friend! S:  But yeah, if these cats were people, Talltail is some skinny closeted runaway with some serious esteem issues and a kind of volatile and disrespectful pattern of behaviour. S:  And Jake is the cute bi boy next door with a supportive dad with apparently a solid sense of self and value, and I find that kind of a jank combination? It feels like it'll either lend itself to basically "adopt a stray" style "fixing" someone else, which isn't a great relationship dynamic, or Talltail dragging Jake into his mess and drama. And it's just difficult for me to imagine what Jake sees in Talltail. S:  If the relationship was just a bit more balanced--Talltail bringing something of value to Jake beyond "adventure"--I could believe it more. K:  Meanwhile, if Talltail retained his "soft, shy poet boy who's just looking for a place to be accepted and flourish" attitude... S: YES 

S:  I got so mad when Talltail's like, "I'm going to kill a guy," and Jake was like, "you can't!" and Talltail's like, "if I was back home, I would have probably already killed by someone by now," and Jake's like, "yeah but that's different, warriors killing each other for Survival is fine." K:  IT ISN'T S: And I'm like, whoa, slow down, I want to talk philosophy right here right now. S: It's a genuinely fascinating conversation that I want canon to have a lot more, but they just... glance over it.

S:  Pivot for a moment to the gay part of Jake/Talltail: I was surprised by exactly how heavily they implied it. K:  Me too!!! S:  I thought it'd be a lot less than there was, and a lot more oblique. So that was a pleasant (? is any part of this pleasant?) surprise. K:  And in the final comic they say that Tallstar sees Firestar like the son he would have had (with Jake).  Which. Is gay. S:  Mad huge gay, for sure. K:  Their final "oh, what if I stay with you!" parting scene was wild to read. And on Tallstar specifying that Jake is someone he loves at the very end. Like hot damn S:  But I Lost My Whole Mind. Because of one line. I read it and involuntarily galaxy-brained with the power of song. I can't find the full quote right now BUT it was basically Talltail and Jake talking right before Talltail leaves to return to the clan. S: And Jake's like, "you know what you have to do. Listen to your heart.” K: YES S: And I was HIT BY A TRUCK S: by this song S: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCC_b5WHLX0 K:  OH FUCK YES S:  Which honestly is so good, and also hilarious, because I have fond gay memories of this song from my teen years. S:  So I know we were saying the very long slow lame end was boring and anticlimactic, but there were a few things that did in fact spark joy.  One was--despite his name and the rampant ableism--Deadkit. K:  YES K:  I have in my notes: K: "I would die for Deadkit." and then "Apparently Deadkit would die for me" S: Hopkit sat up straight, quivering with effort. “Still as a stone, right you are!” he mewed. “Barkface, carry on!” Bless. S: MY SON S: MY BOY K;  And Talltail finally being like? Not an asshole, and treating him well and encouraging him.  He really did feel like he was emulating Dawnstripe in a wholesome way. S:  I KNOW. S:  It honestly made me feel so good about the story I've planned out, but I can talk about that after. S: I also loved that Talltail swam. <3 K: Yes.  S: I was there just elated, thinking about Mudclaw's final moments. And how this story actually ties in so well with that one. That's nothing really to do with Erin Hunter, but it was nice for me. It made the two feel resonant and in conversation with each other in a way I truly hadn't expected. K:  Oh fuck also, two extra from the notes K:  "Talltail’s heart began to race. “I can’t go home!” He stared in panic at Jake. “They won’t want me! I broke the warrior code when I left my Clan. They’ll drive me away again!” — On the one hand: I understand that his fear of being driven away/not being accepted stems from like, 90% of the interactions in this book. But also: THEY LET YOU LEAVE, everyone agreed! Nobody drove you out!" S: Talltail: "I'll go if I must, I understand, you need me to leave--" The rest of the clan: "uhh dude you said you wanted to go." S: Makes me think of people who get really pissed when they're like "I said I'm fine, why didn't you ask me more about how I was feeling because I was clearly Not Fine and Lying to you." S:  And it's like... I trusted you to tell me the truth. Don't play stupid games. K: Yeah! Like, if you want to be consoled or helped, be honest! I can't read your mind!

S: Palebird is just a full on mess in this book, huh? And it's really unsatisfactorily handled.  S: Sandgorse gets obsessed over for... the entire book. Palebird, equally bad parent, doesn't really get any kind of meaningful resolution with Talltail. K:  I misread when Talltail first brings the kids into camp, and fully thought that Palebird recognized Talltail and chose to ignore him in favour of her kits. That sadly isn't actually far off from what happens when she does recognize him. K:   He just goes "oh she died and in my leader ceremony she makes me feel like she always loved me and i never should have doubted her" S: I was so furious that her bit was like "a mother's love for her kits" and he's like, oh I can't believe how stupid I was for doubting her. S: She abused you, dude. S:  Being like, "lol jk" after she's dead counts for Nothing. K: It’s awful.  S: "I always loved you," said Palebird. "I just never wanted to interact with you at all when I was alive and I attached all my grief and trauma to your existence, which made it impossible to enjoy time around you, and I never even bothered to get help for myself or you, and I was happiest when you weren't in my life and I could focus on my other family. So I guess I didn't actually love you. I just felt like I probably should have, but oh well." S: I am as angry about her as I am about Sandgorse. K:   Yeah, she just somehow gets a free pass because "that's just how moms are!" -Erin S:  "Mums can say they love you and you have to believe them." K:  What kind of mother did you have/are you to your kids, @the Erins collective. I want to know. S: I KNOW K: Like, please answer for science. K:  I KNOW WE'VE ROASTED SANDGORSE THIS ENTIRE TIME BUT K:  THE NOTES S:  GET HIM S:  GET HIS ARSE K:  “I give you this life for forgiveness. No death need ever be avenged. Forgiveness brings peace far more surely than vengeance.” Talltail felt his ruffled fur smooth, his claws retract into his pads, his breath come steadily. Mercy was his, and always would be. “I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way, Tallstar,” Sandgorse meowed. — HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO MURDER A FICTIONAL CAT S:  YES YES YES YES S:  I was literally about to grab the same note. K:  "im sorry you had to learn the hard way" WHOSE FUCKING FAULT WAS THAT S:  “I give you this life for forgiveness. No death need ever be avenged. Forgiveness brings peace far more surely than vengeance.” It is a fatal mistake to conflate forgiveness with pacifism. K:  It's just. K:  Like I knew it was going to be awful, I knew this moment was going to happen, but just to see it and see the phrasing. K:  "I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way" is just the ultimate slap in the face. You abused and abandoned and neglected this kid. You did this. You were a ghost for 70% of the book and could have told your son that you "died a hero" and stopped him from being an absolute asshole. YOU DID THIS. S:  What peeves me is that I personally believe forgiveness is something you have to do for yourself, and not for other people. A lot of the time, bad people in your life won't ask for your forgiveness and don't deserve it. K: Yes!  Forgivesness isn't earned, forgivesness is given. K:  It's up to you to give people that forgiveness on your own terms, whenever and however you choose. And if you go "I'm not giving this to you" you don't have to! It's for you! It's your choice! S: But all your anger and hate and misery inside will burn you out like acid, so sometimes you need to go, "you're never going to earn my forgiveness, but I am choosing to forgive what you did so I can move on with my life and grow." S: It's why "forgive but don't forget" is a good thing to remember. You can let go of self-harmful anger without ever losing the lesson that person taught you, which was stay the hell away from people like that. S: That's the conversation I want to see happen around forgiveness in this story. K:  Talltail deserves so much better than any of the story we were given. K:  And like. Forgiveness through that specific lens is so compelling. S:  I know. It's something I'm deeply invested and interested in.  K:  It's so engaging, and relatable! It's messy and nuanced and full of a lot of good shit. S:  Yeah, like, and what happens when the person you resent or distrust tries to make efforts to atone, but they always fall a little short, or don't grow the way you need them to?  How do you forgive that, but still choose to walk away, knowing that in their narrative, you're the bad guy? K:  It's hard.  Knowing that they see you as the bad guy is like, the fucking toughest.  s:  It's extremely hard and I think there's so much space in this story for that exploration. K:  It makes it so easy to want to go back in for seconds and explain yourself to try and get them to understand you, even when you know that like, they're not going to and never will.  And it'll just hurt you more to try than to move on and be a better you for it. S: And being able to forgive yourself is I think a massive underrated lesson. K: Yes! It's beyond hard to try and be gentle with yourself and have compassion for yourself sometimes, especially regarding a messy scenario like these. S: I mean, all of this is way out of Erin Hunter's range, but like, ugh. What could have been. K: Yeah, absolutely. K:  Also I'm always here for young upset queer kids growing up to become Better & Cooler & Sexier than you, so don't try any shit dad, S: Anyway! That's it! We did it! K:  Yeah! S:  Honestly this is such a dumb book but it always feels like an accomplishment to get through another Book Club with you. K:  I agree. K: <3 S: <3

[celebritytgcaptions]

Requests (5/8/2021)

Hi lovelies! I just filled up the queue through May but I have a LOT of requests left. So I’m posting the remaining requests below! If you see your request here that means it’ll be posted in June at the earliest. If you don’t see your request it means it’s probably going to be posted in May (although I did delete two messages that weren’t “requests” as much as “demands”, messages that said, “Do this,” or, “Make that,” which I don’t respond to). There are some requests I addressed in a post on April 27th though that won’t be posted until June also so be sure to check that out. Thanks for the support lovelies! Hope you like what’s to cum. ;)

Anonymous said:

Could u do emma stone from amazing spider man i like her look from the 2nd one but its fine whichever u use

Yep! Second one it is. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi was wondering if you could do a caption of a superhero that is captured by their villain and turned into an evil hench woman thought about anne hathaway as cat woman if you could thanks love your captions btw

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption where a white guy gets turned into Kerry Washington. And becomes addicted to sleeping with black men? I was thinking of using the scene from little man where shes in bed after a night of "doing it". Can that be done or is that too graphic of a description?

I don’t think it’s too graphic? I’ve never seen Little Man (idk what it is tbh) but I googled “Kerry Washington Little Man” & found a pic I think works so I can do this.

Anonymous said:

I don't remember if I requested this already or not but could you do one of Haley atwell from captain america I was thinking like a super soldier test turns a guy into her but he then finds out that was the plan that the government wanted to make super sissies instead

You did not request it and I can do it!

Anonymous said:

Hi could you do a caption using Betsy brandt? Shes the aunt from breaking bad incase you didnt know I just think shes beautiful and hope you could do a caption for her idk what about maybe something about milfs thatd be good ig whatever you decide anyways thanks

I DO know who that is! And there have been quite a few MILF requests (as you’ll see) so all you MILF lovers will be happy going forward. :)

Anonymous said:

Hello first off big fan 2nd off im sorry if this is too much but I have abit of a list for ya if u can do these thats great if not its ok just sorry i know its alot.  Emma thompson(saving mr banks)  Sean young, (ace venture)  Rhea Pearlman, ( matilda)  Christina agulara( burlesque)   sigourney weaver, (alien or ghostbusters)   emma stone (cruela)  thank u there will be a part 2

Heres part 2 its just ones I dont really have any specific thing in mind.    Tia and Tamara. Idna menzel.   Adele.    Bonnie Tyler.    Ruby rose.    Sarah chalke.   Kristen schaal.  Melissa McCarthy.  Megan trainer.    Elizabeth gillies.   Like i said if u can great if not thats alright atleast u'll have some stocked up for a rainy day thanks again and sorry again

Hello im the one who gave the list of requests sorry once again I just wanted to further explain one of them the christina Aguilera from burlesque one to be specific I would like the one where she is wearing the bowler hat with the  loose frizz curls thats the only one I can think of to elaborate on the rest are up to u thanks again sorry again

Ok so this is A LOT of requests and in the future I would like to ask people to limit their requests to three celebs at a time, but I’ve never said that before so it wouldn’t be fair to the person who requested all these. So yes I can do these requests. The only one I won’t do is Sean Young from Ace Ventura because her character in Ace Ventura is really really transphobic (or, more specifically, how that character is written). And I can do that specific Christina Aguilera one. Also since this IS so many requests I’ll probably be sprinkling them in through instead of doing them all at once, & I already wrote an Elizabeth Gillies one coming out towards the end of May.

Anonymous said:

If possible could you do Elizabeth perkins as Wilma Flintstone I had the idea of it litterally being set in cave man times and depicting the forat instance of feminization, the first sissy, being of a weaker evolution and stuff causing the tribe to pick him as the tribes cave sissy

Oooo, sounds fun. Totally!

Anonymous said:

Could you do Marissa tomei? Was thinking hero type story by night hes a crime fighing vigilante by day She is a stay at home sissy wife waiting for hubby to get home to pleasure him

I can do this!

Anonymous said:

Could you try making one where a boy who’s always been short his entire life gets feminized by his friend? I was thinking someone like Skai Jackson would be great for this

Sure thing! I found one of Skai where she’s of age so I’ll use that. :) (I won’t use a GIF of here her though since most of them are from Jessie when she’s under 18)

Anonymous said:

I was wondering if you could do one about a college professor named Peter whose autocloset gets hacked by his students.  They transform and feminize him into a sexy latina milf so they have someone sexy to look at during class.  Actress of your choice, someone over 30 please.

Oooo, I’ve got the perfect celeb for this. ;)

Anonymous said:

Hi I actually have 3 u may have done them before but if u can thatd be great. 1 Natalie Portman (V for vendetta ) the little girl outfit with the pigtails I was thinking like a lost bet. 2 P!nk (beautiful trauma) the house wife look is so good.  3 Elizabeth olsen (wandavision) when shes in the bed wearing her costume like a morning after thing.  Thats all like I said if u can thank u love ur captions

Ah gotcha. I can do these!

Anonymous said:

Hi id like to start off by saying i love your captions. Was wondering if you could do one of Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona flowers when she had Green hair as far as the story I dont really have anything other than green being the guys fav color idk hopefully you can do something with that anyways thank you for your time have a good one

I can work with this. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey I have a specific scene in mind its of kaley cuoco when she was on the big bang theory I dont remember the episode but its where shes sitting on the couch when her BF walks in and shes dressed in this purple lingerie and shes got her hair up its beautiful I was thinking if u could do a caption on that? Maybe like a roommates thing sorry I dont have enough info on the scene

I’VE HAD THIS IMAGE FOR SO LONG BUT COULDN’T THINK OF A STORY SO YES I CAN DO THIS! :D

Anonymous said:

Could u ro Lindsay sloane from bring it on I had to look up the name I just remember her as "Big red" what they called her in the movie

Yep! I love Bring it On. :)

Anonymous said:

Omg i love the Alex kingston caption u did recently whenever u get a chance could u do more River song captions also the billie piper one again whenever u get the chance

You got it. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok if you could i have an idea for a caption of a guy who wants to be internet famous but cant cut it as a guy so he pretends to be a lady on an onlyfans but doesnt show off anything too much then he gets surprised by his Male roommate who found out and his roommate blackmails him into making more "Private" videos to get cash I was thinking using meg turney if u could thanks

Sounds fun. Sure thing! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello I know you mightve done this one already but the one of Katy Perry from "Hey hey hey" music vid could u do another one from that still her with the blonde hair but when shes just waking up instead thank you

You bet!

Anonymous said:

I know you got alot of requests lately but if you dont mind one more could you do Drew Barrymore from Batman forever?

I had to double check how old she was in that but yes! I can do this. :)

Anonymous said:

I know I probably wont see this for awhile but if u could can u do a caption of debby ryan from jessie where she is dressed like a little kid and has her hair in pigtails? I was thinking like a babysitting gig gone wrong for the story like dress up goes too far or something anyawys thank u

Do you know what episode that’s from? I found the image and I think it looks great but I just want to make 100% sure that Jessie was an adult when she made it. If you know the episode feel free to message me & I can go ahead with it. :)

Anonymous said:

I have 3 if u could do them 1. Zazie beets  2. Zendaya  3. Tessa Thompson. Thats all thanks

I actually have Zazie Beets and Zendaya caps coming up before May ends, but you’ll get the Tessa Thompson one in June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi could you do another caption tor jenna fischer from the office please?

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Could you do a cap where a teacher named Peter gets feminized into a latina housewife and use Marisol Nichols from Riverdale?  Can't ignore the MILFs.

Damn right you can’t! I’ll be sure to do this. :)

Anonymous said:

Addison Rae or Ariana Grande please

I’ll do both! :)

@tammyboy25 said:

Hi there! I was wondering if you could please do one where a sister or best girlfriend guilt trips a boy into being their maid of honor for her wedding? Bachelorette party, Dress shopping, getting their hair done, dancing with other boys at the reception are some ideas I had. Thank you so much either way!!!

Ooooo I love this! You got it sweetie. :)

Anonymous said:

Wow, I really loved the "From the Amazons" caption you did with Wonder Woman! Could you do something similar with a guy named Rene put into the body of a sluttfied superheroine?  Maybe Scarlet Witch/Wanda? Thanks!

“From the Amazons” has been getting a lot of love so thanks everyone! I can totally do this with an Elizabeth Olsen pic. :)

Anonymous said:

I'm not sure if youve seen falcon and the winter soldier yet but Erin kellyman who plays kharli in that is a relatively new actress so I could understand if you dont know her but if you do could you make a caption for her? Thank you

I actually do know who she is! I saw her in “Falcon & Winter Soldier” and Solo so I can totally do a cap with her. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi, yesterday I said how much I loved that Wonder Woman caption you did with Gakl Gadot. And I've since discovered the manips made by Saturdays24. My name is Rene, and I'd loved to be turned into a girl in one of his pics, particularly Taylor Swift! Thanks!

Sure thing! @saturdays24 gave me permission to use their stuff a few years ago so I can do any caps with their manips. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you please do Priyanka Chopra captions

Sure!

Anonymous said:

Can you do Lala Anthony captions. I am a big fan of her

Totally! (For some reason I can’t find a good GIF of her though)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a cap with the new Billie Eilish Vogue Pics? That would be so so amazing.

Anonymous said:

billie eilish or addison rae?

Anonymous said:

Hi I remember someone else asking for a billie eilish caption since she was of age now but it was still too recent to have any pics of her at the right age well now shes 19 and I just saw she was on the cover of vogue afew days ago ....would that work?

Don’t worry, a Billie Eilish cap from British Vogue is on the way! She is an adult now & so I can make caps with her. :) (Also to the person who asked about Addison Rae, like I said earlier I’ll make one for her too. :D)

Anonymous said:

I really liked ur newest caption of Kelly lebrock as a boss being spotted enfemme I was wondering if u could do a follow up to that one? Maybe with her from woman in red. Id just like to see the coworker confront the boss

I like that idea! Totally. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption with Jhene Aiko or Jenna Ortega? They’re both similar to me in body build so it would be pretty amazing to see them in a caption.

Jhene Aiko yes. Jenna Ortega MAYBE. Jenna Ortega only JUST turned 18 and that was during the COVID-19 pandemic so there aren’t going to be a lot of projects where she’s an adult to pull from. So if I can find something maybe otherwise you might just have to wait a bit. Sorry if that’s a bummer. :/

Anonymous said:

Can you do Nikita Dragun captions please?

I’ve no idea who this is, sorry.

Anonymous said:

Idk if u know the band pentatonix or not but if u do could u do a caption for Kirstin Maldonado they just came out with a music video for 90s medley and she is gorgeous in it much appreciated :)

I’ve actually done some Kristin Maldonado caps already so I can totally do another. :)

[halequeenjas]

It’ll Cost an Arm and a Leg || Alain & Jasmine

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @carbrakes-and-stakes & @halequeenjas SUMMARY: Alain meets with Jasmine to discuss selling his home and buying a new one. 

Who could have known that the hardest part of going to Ms. Hale’s real estate agency would not be the crutches (he had abandoned the idea of using a wheelchair after his first encounter with the sidewalk), but rather running into people he vaguely knew from his job as a mechanic, and who just had to ask him how he was ? Alain who did not want to be late, and had, even when he had two legs, never liked making small talk with people, had to find a polite way to tell them to fuck off and leave him be. After all, he had never really had a thing for caring about other people’s business, and he wanted people to feel the same about him. The less they knew, the better. And so, he had to use this trick that managed to make anyone feel uncomfortable and like you did not care : calling them by the wrong name. It was a simple trick that allowed you to politely indicate that these people were not your friends and that you would not talk with them any longer. Obviously, this was not the attitude he would have with Jasmine Hale. She had to know a few things about him in order to help him sell his house and purchase a new one. 

Pulling the door open with the crutches was another hassle, and the man found himself smiling at that stupid door with the most annoyed grin on his face. 

 Coming to the office and working on real estate was a welcome distraction to the sheer volume of ghost related problems that seemed to be piling up on. Jasmine knew her ability meant it was her duty to protect people from malevolent spirits and help some pass on, but it got exhausting after a while. Real estate was easier. Lives weren’t put on her shoulders when she was showing properties and helping people find their dream homes. Plus, the pay out was a lot more money for a lot less stress. This particular morning she had been preemptively working on advertisements and open house dates for Alain’s home. Finding him a townhome he liked would be no problem. She had a few lined up she was sure fit both his budget and lifestyle. These were solutions she could easily provide with no sweat off her back. Not that she could do much of her other work with her arm currently broken. She’d be putting herself and others at risk if she even tried. So she’d knock out as much real estate work as she could. She’d been looking through some listings when she heard some struggle with the door. She was quick to get up and open the door for him with her good arm. The arm in the black cast gestured for him to come in. “Hello,” she greeted with a bright smile, “You must be Mr. Babineaux. Please make yourself comfortable. Would you like some coffee or tea? I have some water bottles in here as well.” 

 “Thank you,” Alain gave the door one last annoyed glance before turning his attention toward the amicable woman. “The leg gave it away, huh?” He asked, walking in with the help of his crutches. He was still not used to walking with those, but already more comfortable than he had been when he got out of his hospital room about thirty minutes ago. Several times, on his way to here, he found himself repeating to himself that this would be okay, that he would be okay. Everyone had kept on assuring him that it was possible to live a normal life even with a whole limb gone, and he had decided to listen to them. What other choice did he have? Giving up had never been in his nature, but this one hardship seemed to have been the one droplet of water that had managed to make him drown. He was grateful for the people that had checked on him, Kaden, Erin, Blanche, and even Evelyn. The thought brought a thin smile to him. Sitting down by her desk, he looked over at Ms.Hale, a perplexed look on his face. He could have coffee, right? “Coffee sounds good,” he nodded, putting his crutches to rest against the arm of the second chair. He did not really want to leave his countryside home, but there was something inevitable here. He could not afford to live alone, away from all commodities. “Thank you,” he added, eventually. It was not so much about the coffee, but rather about the fact that she had been so swift. Maybe he had expressed anxiety in his message, or maybe she was just effective like that. Either way, he was thankful. 

 Though Jasmine hadn’t known about the leg thing prior to their meeting, the first floor home made more sense now. Not that she loved stairs either, but walking up stairs with 5-inch heels was way different than walking up stairs with crutches. At least she imagined so. While she was curious, she wasn’t going to ask too many questions about it. She laughed slightly at his joke and retorted, “Well, my only other appointment this morning is Mrs. Belsky and you don’t really look like an elderly Russian woman.” There was a humorous grin on her face as she turned around to pour some coffee for her client. She always kept a hot pot going so she'd have something to offer anyone who visited her office. She admittedly also loved the smell. There was a bit of a struggle as she was still getting used to the cast on her arm, but she managed to pour a mug without making a total mess. With a mug in her good hand and a cup of cream and sugar packets in the other, she took careful steps back toward her desk. She was almost home free when she felt herself become unsteady. She caught herself well enough to not spill hot coffee all over herself or Alain, but she did manage to send her bag falling from her desk. Internally, she cursed herself as the loud clang of iron rods hit the floor with salt spilling out after them. She let out a sigh and set the coffee down in front of Alain. “Well, if the coffee wasn’t going to wake you up. That surely did.” She collected the iron rods, salt, and assorted tubes of lipstick that fell out of her purse from the ground. “Sorry about that. Promise I’m not some sort of freak or anything. Doing a couple of crafts and repairs for a showing I have later today.” That sounded legitimate enough. 

 “I knew I should not have gone out without a scarf to cover my hair,” Alain’s smile dropped, as if he was feeling remorse for failing at dressing like an old Russian lady. “Maybe next time,” leaning back in the chair, he looked as she poured coffee. He had no idea of how it was that she had broken her arm, and he wouldn’t have been surprised to hear that this was not due to her falling down the stairs. He just tried to recall, now, just how many times he had broken his arm, his leg, through all these years. It seemed like he had stopped counting at 10. Who could blame him? There was something inevitable here. And there was no point to keep counts as the number would just keep on growing. The sound of metal hitting the ground brought him out of his thoughts. How long had he been lost in his thoughts this time ? Could not have been more than a few seconds, right? “I… right, thank you for … waking me up,” his voice faltered as he glanced at the things scattered on the floor. Salt and iron rods. Right. Not exactly typical. His brows furrowed, and he glanced back at the realtor with a perplexed look in his eyes. “That’s a lot of salt. Probably a lot of lipstick too. Not that I’m an expert. We don’t have that in Russia,” he was not here to discuss why she got hurt, or who she really was, just like he was not here to discuss his injury and how he got it. “So, how are we going to do this?” 

 Jasmine had an amused grin on her face as Alain went along with her joke. In any other situation she’d make a joke about how he was far too handsome to be an elderly woman, but given the professional setting she simply laughed along. While flirting with clients probably could have gotten her farther in some cases, Jasmine prided herself on her professionalism among many other things. Though her little display of accidentally spilling ghost weapons and makeup out of her purse was far from. She’d never broken any bones before and outside of clashing with literally every single outfit she owned, the cast was making it hard to navigate. She recovered quickly with a bright smile and responded, “Any time.” The mention of salt and lipstick was only mildly concerning. What possible excuse could she have for the salt without him thinking she was one of those new age fake wiccan chicks? At least he said it in a somewhat joking manner so she laughed along. “You never know when you’ll have a lipstick emergency. Have to have a shade for every outfit.” Maybe if she just glossed over the salt thing, they could move on to a subject that didn’t make her seem like a total White Crest freak. Thankfully, he was asking about the process now which was a lot easier to go over. “So, I do already have some listings I’ve picked out for you to check out that I think fit the bill of what you’re looking for. I’ll be setting up an appointment for you to meet with a mortgage broker so we can get you preapproved so we can immediately put an offer in if you find a place you love. As far as selling your home goes, I’ll be coming by with my photographer so we can get some top tier photos for the listing I’ll put in the MLS. Do a few open houses. I do like to stage the area so I may do some little touches here and there around the house. Always have a vanilla candle going during showings too. Makes it’s smell home-y.” 

 “I really don’t relate to that, but I’m going to trust your word on this,” he cleared his throat, coughing lightly in his hand, although it was clear that he just had a smile to hide here. She had not made any comments on the salt, but considering salt was something mostly used by hunters, he had no business asking too many questions although he did wonder what it was she dealt with. As far as he was concerned, his only experience with salt had been his attempt to keep a mara away. Attempt, and success. The subject went back to the house seeking question, and he stopped thinking about hunting then. Or at least, for a few. He wondered if asking to be away from cemeteries was suspicious or not, but figured that it was a legit worry for some people, not having a room with a view on tombstones. “I forgot to precise, but I really would rather not have a view on a cemetery. We have so many in town that it might make it a lot harder, but… that’s just so morbid, you know?” Sure. Morbid. He had always been great at pretending to be normal, but never a great liar, and he hoped that she wouldn’t ask more questions about this. He doubted that she would, but that still worried him. Many things did, but losing a leg did put things into perspective. “Okay, that sounds great. I’ll have a couple hospital bills to pay, but that’s alright,” he was speaking mostly to himself here, thinking aloud. “I’ll start packing some things as soon as I get home. The house will look less cluttered. I suppose that’s better. I’ll try to keep the dogs out of the house. They have a way to make the place smell home-y in a different way,” he wrinkled his nose. He missed his dogs so much and he could not wait to see them again. It was nice to know that Kaden and Nell had been taking care of them, but it was not the same as seeing them. 

 “Right, of course. No lipstick in Russia after all,” Jasmine joked with an amused smirk on her face. At least he wasn’t pushing on the salt thing and she much preferred to keep their little joke going. It seemed he was likely clueless as to why someone would be carrying salt around anyhow. Crafting seemed legitimate enough. They were now focusing on the purpose of this meeting and it was much preferred. Jasmine took a seat in her leather desk chair and listened as he spoke. All his requests seemed easy enough though it was curious that he noted the whole cemetery thing. Not that she wanted to live near one either. Last thing she wanted was to see ghosts right outside her window. “I think I can manage to find something without a cemetery view. I’m not a big fan of them either. Definitely a little morbid and home should be cozy not morbid.” She quickly jotted that down on her notepad just to be sure she didn’t forget. Not that she usually chose places near cemeteries. Well, occasionally she did. There was always some young white couple who wanted their home to be spooky which she never understood. Who wanted to literally live in a Stephen King novel? Not her, that was for sure. As he mentioned the dog smell, she refrained from scrunching her nose and nodded slowly. “That’d be perfect. Generally better to not have them in the house during showings anyhow. Some people are afraid of dogs of all things. I’m sure a few candles would give us just the vibe we’re going for. Maybe I’ll do maple candles, that’s totally a remote home vibe.” Touching on the previous thing he said, she added, “I wouldn’t worry too much about the hospital bills affecting your preapproval. Those don’t generally impact credit. I hope they weren’t too bad though. I know medical expenses here can be through the roof.” She thought briefly of Nell and Bea and their current medical debt predicament. “If you do end up needing some debt consolidation for those, I know a guy… Actually, I pretty much know a guy for everything. Anyway, did you want to take a peek at some of the listings I thought may work for you and the pups?” 

 “I would rather avoid having a morbid house, yes. That’s what I was looking for when I renovated the house I live in, something that felt like home,” and somewhere lost in the middle of nowhere, where he would have quiet and peace for whatever he chose to do there. Through the years, a few vampires had shown up by his doorstep, and you could not afford to have the neighbors watch you drag them inside, could you? That was simply out of the question. With a pleasant smile, Alain glanced away from the realtor to have a look around the office. The place was tidy and there was something about the way it had been arranged that made him feel uncomfortable. Of course, Ms Hale’s charming demeanor helped as well. 

“Of course, I’ll make sure to move their belongings to the garage, and to have them with me at work during showings,” he probably would have commented on the candles more if it was not for the fact that he had not a damn clue about those. The last time he used candles was when the power was cut for a few hours a few years ago, and he could not find the camping lamps. And you were safe to assume that those emergency candles had no scent to them. The idea of putting perfume in his house seemed a bit too much to him, but if people would buy it faster that way, then he would go with it. She knew her job better than he did, this much was sure. “I know a guy for everything.” His tone, as he repeated that sentence, was not quite the same as hers. His, was perplexed, as if he questioned what that could mean. “Well that’s ominous. You don’t seem the type to work for a crime lord but you never know in this town,” leaning forward, he glanced over at her monitor, wondering if she was going to show her something there, of if she had printed out something for him. Maybe both. 

 “Thank god. As much as I’m willing to oblige the weird hipster trend of spooky houses, it’s not my preferred place to be,” Jasmine said with a laugh. Usually those houses had ghosts galore and it always made her skin crawl. She got rid of them or warded off the homes for the sake of safety, but it still left her entirely perplexed. How could someone just want to live in a haunted house? Not that all ghosts were malicious by any measure, but the more they hung around and decided they didn’t like that you re-painted, the more unstable and dangerous they became. Not that these people had any actual understanding of that. At least this Alain guy seemed to have some actual sense even living off in a remote part of town had never been her cup of tea. There was a huge difference between enjoying your privacy and having a dangerous morbid fascination with the more occult aspects of the town. Not that she avoided hauntings, but she didn’t want to live with them.

 “Perfect, if this weekend works for you, I’ll come by and get the photos done,” Jasmine answered with a relaxed grin on her face. Of her current clients, Alain seemed to be fairly easy going and it’d be simple enough for her to find what he was looking for. She set her notepad down on her desk and rummaged around her drawer for a card for the mortgage broker that she set near her for the time being as she noticed a shift in his tone. Her face was confused for a moment as she realized that her statement did in fact sound a little ominous. A laugh filled the otherwise still air and she responded, “Oh, god no. I definitely didn’t mean it like that. I’ve just lived here my whole life and I’m well connected so hence… a guy for everything. You know, like handy work, business, or like tech-y things.” Also, had people for magic and muscle but that just sounded crazy. She recovered quickly and had her signature smile back on her face. “Please, me and crime don’t mix. Do I look like I could survive in prison? Or that I’d be caught alive in a polyester jumpsuit?” 

 “Oh so that’s a trend among hipsters, alright,” Alain’s raised eyebrows and small smirk told a lot regarding his opinion on hipsters although he could not recall ever meeting a single person who approved of these people. “Well, good for you if they want those houses, they can’t be easy to sell,” his eyebrows raised further more as he got even more exasperated by some people’s stupidity. Jasmine probably would think that he had a strong distaste for hipsters and cemeteries, which he did not really mind. There was nothing weird with that, right? 

“I don’t really go to work these days, but I’ll be home this weekend,” he nodded to further his agreement, smiling back as he thought of all the crap he would have to hide in boxes before Saturday came. Great. Sounded like a great time.  Then, he did not have much of a choice, unless he wanted whoever visited the house to know about his strange passion for all things undead and medieval weaponry. Far from ideal, really. Her laughter caught him off guard, and his eyebrows furrowed as he locked eyes with her. Well, at least he had made her laugh, that was something. Shaking his head, he raised his hands apologetically, “look, in a town like that one, don’t blame me for having several questions about this statement,” she was truly easy to speak to. He wondered if this was genuine, or all part of an act meant to sell more. It might have been a mix of both. “I don’t know, I don’t know you enough to assume that. I might be surprised,” he gave her a shrug, although her last comment brought a deadpan look to his face, “I’m sure you could pull it off, not a lot of people can pride themselves with that,” he grimaced, “so I’m guessing you didn’t break your arm in an underground fighting ring? How disappointing,” he sighed. 

 “I can’t say I get it, but they have some weird fascination with things being haunted or occult without any actual understanding,” Jasmine responded with an amused grin on her currently red lips. It seemed like he had the same distaste for people who were obsessed with haunted houses though Jasmine’s issue was more with people endangering themselves without even realizing it. Probably better to not mention that. That was a whole can of worms that would likely make her appear crazy if he wasn’t already privy to the more unsavory aspects of the town. “Odd trends have their perks, I suppose.” It wasn’t like haunted houses always looked haunted anyway. 

“That makes sense,” she said with a small nod and a sympathetic gaze, “I’m sure adjusting after the accident hasn’t been easy. I can help out with tidying up and clearing clutter if the clutter isn’t too heavy. If you’d like, that is.” Did she just offer to help clean? Was this some sort of out of body experience? She didn’t even do her own tidying, she paid Lauren for that. Too late to rescind the offer now. It’d look bad and this client was both selling and purchasing through her. That commission could easily fund some holiday fun. Maybe if she went right back to the joking, he’d forget she’d made the offer? “You make a fair point, but I can go ahead and tell you prison and I would not get along. Aside from that, I’m totally cool with the whole following the laws thing. They’re there for a reason.” As much was true. Plus, doing the right thing was always better. Her parents could have taken a lesson from her on that one. She laughed at the idea of her in a crime-fighting ring. “I’m flattered really. Afraid the real story isn’t quite that exciting. Just a bit of a clumsy moment with a tree.” That she was thrown into by a ghost. Semantics, really. “I’d look better in than most. Would still rather not. My bed is far too comfortable to give up for a prison cot.” Was that a good recovery? She didn’t know. She liked to think the easiness of their back and forth kept him from being too suspicious. 

 “Well their loss. This town has a way to remind you that stories are told for a good reason,” he shook his head and sighed. Alain doubted that the stories he had been told as a child were the same as the one most people had heard, the ones that she had heard. In his books, SnowWhite was a vampire coming back from the dead, and the Prince a hunter who staked her in her coffin. To someone unaware of what was going on in town, what he said could appear as slightly odd, or a bit too serious, and for someone aware, it was just telling. 

His brows furrowed however, at her next offer. He did not know what it was with women with their arms in a cast and offering help with packing boxes, but Jasmine was the second to make him this offer. From Erin, it was expected. She had always been supportive, and she probably felt bad for the bear incident. He hardly blamed her for it. “No such thing as too much help, especially while I’m still recovering,” to think that he could have carried half his furniture on his own, and that now, he would need help for this. Unacceptable. “Thank you for the offer,” he added with a tight lipped smile. Well if this did not show that he still had no idea of how to accept help from people or how to thank them. His people skill had never been anything but rusty, but you would think that some things could get better with age. Alain shook his head as she admitted to having a vicious fight with a tree. “Well let me know if you want to … get revenge on the tree, anything,” his shoulders raised briefly as he scoffed. His arms crossed over his chest and once again, shook his head at her. “That is by far the best reason someone has given me for staying out of jail, so congratulations, Ms. Hale,” he lightly touched the tip of his nose and looked away from her for a second, moving his hand to scratch a leg that just wasn’t there. It’s only as he touched the fabric of the chair that he looked up with a confused look on his face. “Saturday is when you stop by, right?”

 “That they are. Doesn’t stop the high schoolers from turning it into a party game,” Jasmine said as a nod to the kids who summoned Bloody Mary and in turn the Sand Creep. There was no way for her to discern if they knew what would happen. Probably not what Alain had meant anyway. Unless he had. She wasn’t about to do a supernatural chicken game on a first meeting with a client so she wasn’t about to push it. On the chance he was totally normal, she’d rather him think of her the same. The whole “I see dead people” thing was a little too M. Night Shyamalan for most. 

Jasmine could have cursed herself for offering to help pack up some of the clutter while she was there. While she had a broken arm at that. Had she completely lost her mind? It’d be far too rude to rescind the offer now, so she smiled and said, “Of course! It’ll help me get an idea of staging before we start showing the place.” It was true. She hated it a little bit, but it was true. At least he really wasn’t Mrs. Belsky. She’d have to hear stories about every single creepy angel figurine if that was the case. Somehow, this seemed preferable. Unless he secretly collected dolls or something. She caught herself from blurting that thought out loud and instead said, “Yep, Saturday mid morning if that works for you.” As he moved to leave, she was quick to open the door again. She offered a warm smile and a wave as he left. “I’ll see you Saturday, Mr. Babineaux!”

[sgtrolandhills]

Simple Kind of Man || Nicodemus & Roland

TIMING: Last week some time, before Regan does a loud PARTIES: @bountybossier & @sgtrolandhills SUMMARY: A weary Roland runs into Nic at a bar. The two chat and have some good life talks. 

Normally, Roland could find comfort in his work. That had always been a constant in his life. It was why he had excelled in school and in his career, but now, he just wasn’t so sure. Now that it seemed like he was falling short at every corner in his career, he didn’t know where to find comfort. Most of the cases that came across his desk lead him to more questions than answers and that night spent in that abandoned house with Stryder still haunted him. Reading through case files wasn’t going to dull the lingering pain that maybe he wasn’t nearly as good at his job as he thought he was. He couldn’t help but think his father would have been able to figure all of this out. In his mind, his dad had always been this larger than life figure. Jim Hills had always dutiful and committed to honoring the city he served. His dedication motivated Roland much of his life, but even outside of work, it always seemed like his dad had the answers. When the road ahead looked dangerous or unclear, he’d always drove on and somehow knew the way. Roland would have given anything for some of his guidance right now. Instead, the only Jim in his life would have to be Jim Beam. He ordered his whiskey neat with a pint of Sam Adams to wash it down and let out a disgruntled sigh, not even realizing there was a man sitting next to him. “Sorry,” he grumbled, “It’s been a bit of a day-- week-- month.”

As fun as the idea of sitting at home and drinking alone in the dark was, Nicodemus needed some kinda noise to drown out his thoughts. Hell, when had he ever been so worried? Months later, he supposed accidental murder had that effect on a person. He stressed the word accidental and as a byproduct, stressed himself out. He wasn’t about to wallow. He feared the pull of the undertow if he did that shit. And fear had been the start of it all. Not to mention the crime gig Erin had taken to. He knew she could handle herself but hell if he didn’t consider the what ifs from time to time. It was hard to wallow in it when, instead, he could order a double whiskey neat and sit back while some soccer game played. The cheers of the patrons rang loud in his sensitive ears. Shit, he was at the Perfect Pint. Football. It was a football game. He grunted and took a long drink. Grit his teeth as the whiskey nearly burned the skin of his mouth. He had asked for the cheap shit and he could taste it. The crowd quieted for a second and the sigh that came from the man next to him just about startled him. But he held fast. Held tight to his drink as he glanced over. The man looked about how he felt and by any indication, it wasn’t fucking great. Nicodemus wasn’t a man of small talk. Nicodemus after a few whiskey neats, on the other hand, sure was. “Yeah, looks that way,” he commented, before he winced and waved a hand. “Shit. Sorry. Not what I--But, uh, yeah. Been a fuckin’ year. That drink you’re havin’ for the day or the month?” He snorted and shook his head. “Whichever one’s been worse, I reckon?”

How he’d ended up in a bar of all places, Roland wasn’t sure. Here his superiors probably thought transferring him to a small town would leave him bored and stagnant. He had stark determination when he first arrived, but now everything seemed to be spiraling further and further from his grasp. Every answer he reached for seemed to float away just past his reach, just where he couldn’t see it clearly. All it led to was an ever growing stack of half solved cases on his desk. Nearly getting himself and Stryder killed had been the icing on the metaphorical cake. Finding out how wrong he’d been about Erin was a last straw of sorts.  At this point, he wasn’t even sure if his drink was for the day, month, or year. All had been weighing heavy on him. “Your guess is as good as mine. I’d have to say month,” he answered, perhaps more truthfully than he would have otherwise if there weren’t a fresh shot of bourbon in his system. “From the sounds of it, I’m not the only one getting my ass handed to me by this town. Care for a shot?” 

“Hear that,” Nicodemus muttered out with a small, slow nod. “Months got a way of feelin’ like years here, don’t it?” The way White Crest could make a man feel older yet younger all at the same time, no wonder the town carried itself the way it did. All just about half awake, heads just above water. As long as there was a game on and a full fridge at home, what’d they have to worry about? But hell, they stayed. He certainly had and he had stopped trying to question why. He knew why. The hunter went to take another dry sip but snorted, lowered the glass back down. “Nah, definitely ain’t just you. Ain’t that nice,” he said with a slight lift of a brow. The humor in his tone withered as he sat up straighter and heaved a sigh. “Yeah, sure, deal me in. I’ll get the next.” He leaned into the bartop, arms slightly folded together. Before he spoke up, he laughed as he looked at the other man. “What happened, if’n you don’t mind some asshole askin’?”

“You got that right,” Roland agreed and took a gulp of the beer the bartender had set down in front of him. The time flew by, but so much happened so quickly that it felt longer, somehow. At this point, he barely felt like he was keeping his head above water, but there was still too much on the line to give up entirely. All of it had little to do with his own work ethic or sense of worth anymore, people were in danger. Mores so every single day. He’d made that his weight to carry and while he needed the night off mentally, tomorrow he’d be back at it again, trying his best to make this town even a little bit safer. “At least we’re not alone in this boat… or bar, rather,” he responded with a small chuckle. He was tired, but it felt better to be talking with someone who seemingly understood. He rested his elbows on the bar with his beer mug still in his hand. He looked down at the beer momentarily before he answered, “You hardly seem like an asshole. But yeah, I guess I could do with talking about it a bit. You ever used to feel like you were really good at something-- then all of a sudden you start to realize you’re not?” That was one way of putting it. The ever growing number of unsolved cases on his desk said it all. “I moved here a while back from Boston. Transferred from Boston PD. I used to think I was a good detective and leader and now… I guess this town’s just giving me a run for my money.” 

In different bars in different towns, Nicodemus kept to the back corners. Kept to himself unless someone suddenly developed a problem or those in the know knew to ask something of him. He didn’t know how it happened or when it did, but in White Crest, he gravitated toward the bartop itself. Found himself in conversations with people he might even see the next day. He snorted. He had a strong feeling that he and the other guy wouldn’t be getting into any bar fights. A breath of relief followed after. “Sure ain’t,” he agreed, voice a tired whiskey drawl. He nodded. “You don’t seem like one either.” As the man continued, opened up, he sat up a little straighter. Weathered, he thought. That’s what they were. Weathered and continuing to weather. His eyes dropped from looking at the other man to the worn bartop. Being good at something. What did that even mean to him anymore? He had been good at what he did. Bounty hunting. Hell, he still was, but lately, he hesitated. The money said as much. And he couldn’t blame it on age. Wasn’t sure he could blame it on anything. It just was. No attribution necessary. The hunter tensed in his chair. Boston PD. A confessional with a cop, why the hell not. “Yeah...Yeah, I do,” he said after a beat. The shots slid across the bartop and he took his in hand. “I do the, uh, odd job here or there. People knew that I was reliable if they needed something done. But hell, lately...I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I’m good for it anymore. That realization’s the worst part of it all, ain’t it?” He tossed the shot back. “Creeps in slow and fucks you right up. Town’s got a way of doin’ that too.” Erin had told him that once. That it wasn’t him, it was the town. Somehow, he got lost and understood the town more than he understood his own damn self. “Boston, huh? Ain’t too far from home then.”

Feeling a bit less alone in the world did help to an extent. The feeling of lead in his chest seemed to be dissipating at the very least. Roland wasn’t sure when or how things had gotten so out of control, but it was difficult for him to navigate. He thrived on order and found himself in a town ruled almost exclusively by chaos. Maybe one day all his efforts would pay off, but it was getting harder and harder to maintain the optimism he once possessed. He finally set his stein down and brought his shoulders back if only a little. Slouching indicated defeat and he wasn’t ready to reside himself to that yet. The people of this town were worth fighting for. He leaned back away from the bar top and looked to his new found friend. Understanding was a powerful thing. “You’re right. The realization hits like a ton of bricks. And then it’s a hell of a time trying to figure out when it even happened,” he responded a little more emphatically this time. He was feeling more comfortable with this… It dawned on him he didn’t know this man’s name. “Yeah, starts out so slowly, you don’t even know it’s happening. This town definitely has a way of it though. Let me tell you, gang violence has nothing on the strange crimes that happen in this town.” Mimes and eyeballs still haunted his nightmares. Now there were organs being sold and mutated animals. Nothing could just be simple. “Yep-- Born and raised. My dad was on the force there, too. I miss it sometimes, but this town has turned out to be a challenge at least.” One he wasn’t so sure he was up to facing anymore, but giving up was never an option. “What about you? You don’t sound like you’re from around here.” 

Nicodemus was so used to dealing with the children of White Crest finding new and inventive ways to achieve martyrdom that he damn near forgot what it was like to talk to someone a little more than reasonable. Even as the topic grew heavier, his shoulders didn’t. He didn’t feel as rusted over, as withered. Maybe it was the booze or maybe it was the strange ease of the conversation. Either way, he took well enough to it. Breathed a little easier. “Feels like half the time you’re just tryin’ to keep up with it all and shit, you’re still gettin’ lost somehow,” he said with a slightly furrowed brow. “It’s weird, y’know? I feel lost as shit in this town most of the time but the, uh, people sorta help with that.” Plenty of people had helped him and oddly enough, he thought as he glanced over, their numbers kept growing. Nothing like bar hospitality and the kindred nature of the weary. Strange crimes. The hunter had to wonder how much this man knew about White Crest’s strangeness. Had he seen one of those native wolves? Maybe the bloody aftermath of some vampire’s creation? Nicodemus frowned some as he moved the small shot glass between his hands. “Shit,” he said with lifted brows as he looked at him. “Take it you’ve been seein’ weird stuff ‘round these parts?” He gestured to the bartender to bring them a couple more drinks. This time on him. “So it’s a family kinda business for you? I know that one. You do the same stuff he did?” Air rushed out his nose. “Sure as hell can be a challenge. Don’t really know how we all keep survivin’ here but we do.” The more he drank, the heavier his drawl came. The more the bayou came through. A wry smile made an appearance. “Louisiana. Y’all got a couple seasons we don’t up here,” he said with a raspy laugh. “Do a lot of travelin’ but-- Hell, I think this is the longest I’ve stayed in one spot in about ten years.” As their drinks came by, he shifted some. “I’m, uh, Nicodemus. By the way. Nic works.”

In times like this, Roland always did his best to remember his father. There were so many ways in his mind that the man had always been larger than life. Even when the world around him seemed to be moving far too fast or in ways no one could have possibly understood, Jim Hills stood tall. It was the same energy he tried to emulate now. Letting some of it out helped keep his chin up. Did he live up to the man who raised him? These days he couldn’t be sure, but it was hard to be too torn up about it as the effects of the alcohol slowly kicked in. “That’s exactly it. Most days it feels hard enough just to tell up from down,” he agreed, “There are some good people here, though. Guess that’s what makes most things worth it at the end of the day.” There were also people who were only seemingly good. Erin and whoever in his department had disposed of her evidence were proof of that. Still, there were kind souls out there like the one sitting next to him, letting him get some worries off his chest. Even the crimes he had no explanation for. Maybe if he spoke his piece out loud, he’d have some sort of epiphany that brought this all together. “I think you’re on the nose with the weird shit part. Mimes, eyeballs, cults, diseased animals, you name it-- this town seems to have it.” Surely, there were probably run of the mill drug rings, too. The unbelievably high homicide rate just took precedence. “Oh yeah, Pops was a cop, too. Boston PD Captain before he passed. Always looked up to him though,” he answered. He nodded along with his note on survival. It seemed all he could do some days was just survive. “You got that right. Louisiana, now that’s a cool state. Only ever been to New Orleans there. Ex-Wife was very into the history of the town. I enjoyed the food.” He paused and took a sip from his fresh beer before asking, “What brought you to White Crest?” Now his mystery bar friend had a name. “Nic, it’s good to meet you. I’m Roland.” 

It would take a great deal more for the hunter to start seeing double. Even so, Nicodemus slowed down. Took his time between sips as he just listened. It was funny, how he had honed that skill by listening to the details of bounties to get them just right. He almost laughed. Maybe Morgan had been right, Erin too. That he could do something else with it. Yet, the mornings and evenings went on the same. How could he end when he didn’t even know where to start? He hummed low to himself. “There are, yeah,” he admitted. He had to wonder if this man had that same crusted over optimism that he did. “Made more friends here than I have anywhere else. Maybe it’s that death rate, y’know? Got people eager to make friendly.” He shook his head, a slight smile of disbelief as he turned his drink in hand. A bit of dark humor to shadow over how fucking worried he was about everyone. “Shit, half the time it seems like they’re all in on it together. Group effort. Just...mimes?” He looked at Roland with his glass in hand, his face sour. “They ain’t right.” From time to time, he thought of how he had twisted the head off his own mime and then wondered why sometimes he didn’t sleep. The hunter went quiet for a moment. Father figures weren’t a familiar notion to him. He didn’t know his father. Only that he had his face and for that, he was troubled from the start. He was too busy having his grandfather look down at him to consider looking skyward. When the hell fires came for Samson, maybe Nicodemus could look down at him for once. The burn of his whiskey shook him out of it. “Sounds like he was a good man,” he finally said with a nod. “Could do with more of those.” What constituted a good man? He didn’t know. Didn’t think he had much to say on it. “New Orleans, Baton Rouge. Those are the real nice places, can’t go wrong with ‘em. But you wanna see the weird shit? Gotta get out to the middlin’ or upper parishes. Ain’t too different from here sometimes.” Hell, that was how he had spent most of his growing years. Dealing with the weird shit. “But, uh, work, mostly. Depends what people need. Handyman or pest control type stuff. Left home and just sorta kept moving. Make myself useful.” It sounded good enough in his head. “Likewise, likewise.” He held his glass over. “Well, Roland, to weird shit and alright people, huh?”

There was something to be said about trauma bringing people together. Roland agreed the death rate likely helped bring them all together. He knew even within the station, he felt more of a sense of comradery than he had back in Boston. Given, the competitive atmosphere in Boston’s department likely didn’t help, but here in White Crest, they’d all been through a lot. They’d all seen some shit. “Yeah, that must be it. Gotta be in this together to survive a place like this,” he pondered aloud. He slowed down with his drink. It wasn’t often that he indulged in drinking and it hit him more quickly than it would hit most other men his size because of this. While he had every intention of grabbing an Uber home, he didn’t love the idea of making a fool of himself in public. The mention of mimes working with the other crazy things in this town made his brow scrunch up. “God, I hope not,” he grumbled, “The mimes are bad enough on their own. I don’t want to see what happens if they team up with overly aggressive animals and cults… though maybe the mimes are a cult.” He really hated that thought though they did seem to have a cult following in this town. At least they weren’t stabbing people anymore as far as he could tell. All he knew was he could go the rest of his life without seeing or hearing about a mime and he’d be damn glad. “He was,” Roland agreed when Nic mentioned his father sounded like a good man. There wasn’t much more to say about that unless he wanted to go down memory lane and make himself sad. Seemed like he’d done enough of that tonight. Mentions of parts of New Orleans being like White Crest caused him to shake his head. “If I’m going on vacation, the last thing I’m looking for is more weird shit, but hey, guess it builds character.” He nodded along with the odd jobs, “Well, I’ll definitely keep you in mind if anything comes up.” He raised his stein and clinked it to Nic’s glass. “Cheers to weird shit and good people.” Maybe this wasn’t his normal scene, but after a good chat with Nic, he understood why people enjoyed it. He felt a lot less alone in this crazy world having found a kindred spirit. 

[slytherinlesbian3]

All of the colors. Knock yourself out

Alright, Anon. I see you. I’ll leave out the ones I’ve already done though <3

red: describe your favorite shirt Blue. Literally just blue. Tight, but not too tight. Makes my biceps and boobs pop so it’s pretty nice.

blue: preferred type of weather? Rain or snow.

purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend Not a poem, but “I’ll be right beside you to the very end.”

turquoise: favorite sea animal? Dolphins.

cyan: are you religious? spiritual? Uh, I believe in more than one god and lean more toward Roman/Norse mythology than religion. I believe in every god, really. But I’m not submitting myself to blind faith for a cult I know nothing about.

violet: are you a part of the lgbt+ community? Lesbian through and through.

aqua: do you thrift? Do I...what? Thrift as in steal or thrift as in buy on sale? Because yes.

black: would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan? No.

coral: an animal you wish hadn't gone extinct Bro...Dodo birds. They were dope.

grey: how many languages do you speak? do you want to learn any more? Technically I only fluently speak English, but when I was younger I only spoke in Italian except to my family sejfnskejnfdjskn. I’m learning Latin right now and I can still speak Italian but not nearly as much. I know bits of French, German, Japanese, and Czech though. Beside Latin, I don’t really wanna learn any others.

maroon: do you care for clothing brands? Adidas and 511. Adidas because I’m a slut for soccer and 511 because their pants are so COMFY BRO. But they’re expensive so I only own a 511 belt </3

rose: favourite scent on a person? Something...floral. Roses or cherry blossom. Coconut is nice too. Vanilla is cliche but you can never go wrong with it.

charcoal: have you ever been camping? No and I do not wish for it ever.

claret: do you play an instrument? do you want to learn to play any? Trumpet and guitar. 6 years, 11 months.

copper: gold or silver jewelry? Neither, but silver probably. Just looks nicer with my skin tone.

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any? None. I don’t even have my ears pierced. However, I do want a snake tattoo on my thigh lmaoo.

salmon: how many pairs of sunglasses do you own? Like 5 but I only wear one because they’re aviators :D

indigo: have you ever lived on a farm? Nope but I have stayed on one for about a month.

lavender: relationship status? Single but I do have a tumblr wife: @maritasdump​

erin: what was/is your best school subject? ENGLISH BECAUSE I CAN WRITE ESSAYS IN LITERALLY 15 MINUTES

fulvous: another name you think would suit you Ew, uh...well, Vi. It’s my nickname since it’s the shortened version of the nickname of my real name, but it fits me better.

coconut: a subject you enjoy learning about Rome and Latin :D

frost: a -core you enjoy A what.

porcelain: an tv show you used to love Powerpuff Girls, Teen Titans (original), eh

fawn: any interesting family stories? Well, one time my brother got a stick stuck in his shin. Kinda funny. Another time my brother broke my leg while on a trampoline Another time my brother almost broke my ankle by daring me to jump off a 20 foot ledge. Another time I made my brother bleed with my nails for taking my skittles. I could go on...it’s just a lot of sibling violence.

gold: do you wear your socks mismatched? I used to but I just wear black socks now. (Except for soccer)

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist? Yeah. Just in different forms:)

rust: form of art you enjoy doing? Writing lmao. But I guess just sketching is fun.

mahogany: your sun, moon, and rising signs I have 0 desire to calculate that because I don’t know it off the top of my head but I’m a capricorn and I feel like that’s enough information

blood: twin beds, queen, or king? ...And there was only one bed...

hot pink: did you/do you had/have strong feelings against the color pink? Hot pink is nasty but regular pink is cool asf. My soccer socks for October games are pink and I wear them every practice/game.

plum: a food you've never tried A lot, but I’ve tried a hella ton of European foods. So, uh...I’m not really sure. Something non-American (all Americas), non-EU, and non-Asian, I know that. 

lilac: dogs, cats, or fish? CATS.

amethyst: do you collect anything? Knives.

mulberry: earbuds or headphones? Eh...Depends what I’m doing. Voice chat? Headphones. Music at the bus stop? Earbuds.

azure: jean jackets? My God - on other people? Hot. On me? I’ll stick to leather.

teal: have a job? Not yet.

sapphire: do you think you can sing well? For the most part, yeah. Trying to incorporate my guitar playing with it and it’s going pretty smoothly.

mint: favourite flavour of gum? Juicy Fruit simply because my grandmother got me hooked on it from a really young age. That or plain ol’ wintermint.

pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up? Follow by Breaking Benjamin

penny: icecream or cake Ew. Sweets are a hit or miss for me, but um? Probably ice cream.

ash: can you do your own makeup? Hell no. I’ve only worn makeup twice and it was applied by someone else.

jade: ever written fanfiction? EKFMNSKENFJKDSN SO MUCH.

grape: how many blogs do you follow? 346!

umber: do you brush your teeth before you eat? No, ew. Why would you do that?

chestnut: type of phone you have iPhone 10 XS. Got it last May...First new phone I’d ever owned. Went from an iPod that could only call, to a phone that could only call, then an iPhone 5 until I was 15. They were all hand-me-downs and I never complained. They worked fine.

prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine Soda, probably. If it’s food, either the chips or the rice krispy <3

aquamarine: beach or pool Pool. I’ve come too close to death at the beach to enjoy it anymore.

brass: least favorite food condiment Mayo/horse radish.

mustard: how much sugar in your tea/coffee? All of it.

silver: ever broken a bone? My entire leg and foot <3

rose quartz: rings or necklaces Necklaces with rings. I’m serious. But if I had to choose, rings. It’s the gay in me.

onyx: do you still play Minecraft? Sometimes?

burgundy: ever ridden a motorcycle? NO BUT I WANT ONE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE FRIGGIN UNIVERSE

apricot: opinion on 3 in 1 body wash/hair wash wait those exist? 

platinum: do you follow politics? Dude I didn’t know Trump was president til this year

magnolia: your Instagram handle? ha, nice try, luzer.

Bro I am LATE to somewhere because of this but I enjoyed it. Thanks again, anon! <3

Color Asks (I am closing this shite because I AM TIRED)

[lydia-yougowith-stiles]

My Top Ships of 2019!

My favorite time of the year is back yet again! This year I had to expand my top ships to 15!!! I know, but 12 just wasn’t enough. Making this list I didn’t realize how many new shows I started watching in 2019 and how many of my favorites came to their conclusions. They were some pretty great picks that brought about some of my favorite ships. Hope to see them develop more in 2020! 

15. Poldark: Ross and Demelza

While I did not overly love the last season of Poldark and had many episodes culminate on the DVR, I have to put Ross and Demelza on this list. Their overall relationship is one of the strongest parts of the show and I do like where they ended up at its conclusion. They rely so much on each other and Ross left Demelza in charge of so much at home as he went to London, which many other husbands at this time would not have done. They experienced much with each other over the last five seasons to get them to this point. The first season will forever be my favorite because of watching their early development and having Ross notice his love for Demelza and how he needed her over Elizabeth. They said this a couple of times in the show, but without Demelza in his life we wouldn’t have the show. It was beautiful to watch the love they had for each other grow. I definitely see myself going back and watching this show from the beginning in the near future. I’ll probably just skip a couple episodes here and there.   

14. The Walking Dead: Jesus and Aaron

This ship is so bittersweet because the show did not give it enough time to develop and it could have been amazing. I know Tom Payne was leaving the show to pursue another project. Bingeing the show allows for a few spoilers to come here and there so i knew Jesus would be dying. BUT I did not expect for it to happen like that! It was so sudden that it took a couple of minutes to sink in. I really wish he could have stuck around longer not only for his personal character development, but for him and Aaron. This was another spoiler that I remember encountering and I honestly thought that meant the two would have had more screen time. It was not enough! They would have been great. The few scenes we had between them, while not enough, were beautiful and that is why they are on this list. Aaron describing the amount of loved ones he’s lost and including Eric and Jesus right after each other show how important Jesus was to him. If only we could have gotten more. 

13. Pandora: Jax and Xander

The CW’s summer show Pandora seriously needs more love. This Sci-Fi show might have felt jolting at times (and by this I mean that there were times where I felt like I missed an episode because a lot of time had passed or they referenced something we hadn’t been introduced to), but despite this I still really looked forward to it every week. I am SOOO HAPPY it got picked up for a second season. Can’t wait to see where the story is headed as it left us on a great cliffhanger at the end of season one. Jax had several love interests this season (as did many of the characters) and while I liked her with several of them (as I seem to be doing with more entries to follow on this list), I was always drawn back to her and Xander. So, I was very excited to see their relationship get explored more in the second half of the season. It contains some of my favorite tropes like a forbidden match, hate/love banter and keeping secrets from one another. The episode they pretended to be a couple really sealed the deal for me as they started to come to terms with their true feelings. What I liked about their relationship was that they weren’t always the center of the plot, but certain lines that were said reminded you of their interests for one another. With the expected drama for season two, it should be interested to see where their romantic story line is headed.

12. Stranger Things: Nancy and Jonathan  

Stranger Things was an early binge for me at the start of the year. Immediately I felt that Nancy and Jonathan needed to be together-even while she ended season 1 with Steve, which I will still never understand. (I love Steve. Don’t get me wrong, but it just didn’t feel right. Plus, I feel like he really grew as a character without her. But that’s for another post.) I always love how Nancy and Jonathan got paired up in their own story line before joining everyone else at the conclusion of the season. Their personalities compliment each other well and they can see each other’s true self. Their off-screen relationship is extremely evident in their chemistry on screen. After seeing the end of season 3 and how they will be separated I can only hope it is not for good as these two are meant for each other. 

11. Jane the Virgin: Jane and Michael 

The age old question: Team Michael or Team Rafael? Up until moments of season 4, I was Team Michael all the way. Another show that I came in as a binge-watcher at the earlier parts of 2019 I knew a lot of spoilers (or let’s say some of the MAJOR spoilers involving Michael). As a telenovela, there was always a lot of back and forth who Jane would pick. Again, as I came into the show later, I knew she’d be with Michael, but I still felt on my toes watching. (This show was so great and I’m so upset the final season aired this year.) Michael was my favorite because of the history he and Jane had. They cared so much for each other and supported one another. I think I was also more Team Michael at first because I enjoyed his personality. However, despite all of this I was not a fan of his return as Jason. I feel like they were pulling straws at what to do for plot-lines and decided to bring him back for the final season. I felt we were in a good place with Jane and Raf and didn’t need it. Michael was a major part of Jane’s life, but she had moved into a different part of her life. I know when I watch this show back I will still be Team Michael in the early seasons. It’s sad his character was lost so early, but I did really like how they adapted the show without him. 

10. Derry Girls: James and Erin 

Would this list be complete if I didn’t include a pairing that is not an official couple (...yet) that have not alluded to any romantic feelings, expect for me reading too much into things? No it wouldn’t be. :) DERRY GIRLS is one of my TOP shows of 2019 and I am so happy that we were not graced with one season, but TWO this past year! I am still mad that there are only six half hour episodes per season when there should be more! And I’m also upset that season 3 (which could be their final season) has not started filming yet. But while I complain about all of that (because I love this show so much), I’m crossing my fingers for James and Erin. The wee English lad is often shown standing (or sitting) very close to Erin and early on I felt the two would be adorable together. In season one she hopes he won’t sleep with an Ukrainian and in season two James decides to not go to a Doctor Who convention in order to take Erin to the prom. Tell me this isn’t building up to something more. While watching season one I couldn’t find any fan postings about them and then once season two aired I found a bunch. I love watching a ship grow! 

9. Legacies: Hope and Josie

Last year when I made my Top Ships of 2018 it was too early to pick which my favorite ships for Legacies were. They were so many options and honestly I still feel like I ship many people together and wouldn’t be overly upset if one became canon over another. As season one progressed I became more and more team Hosie (or Hope and Josie). Then I discovered the large fan-base for the two of them and fell more in love with them. There were many moments in season one that strengthened the fact the two would be great together: the moment above, the dream episode with Lizzie when she experiences different realities if Hope never came to the school, etc-there are some key moments between Hope and Josie that showed they would work and have feelings for one another. This season, Josie was experiencing a lot at the Salvatore School making her not my favorite character as she often is. She seemed to make up with Hope, but now that Landon has chosen Hope I am unsure what will happen to their relationship/friendship. However, this season Hope did let it slip that she once had a crush on Josie too. I really feel like Julie Plec might give us some Hosie in upcoming seasons. Personally, they feel like an endgame relationship that we will have to wait a long time for (each will get involved with other people-you know how these shows are.) But I’m here for anything that comes my way. 

8. Legacies: Hope and Rafael 

Another Legacies ship-What a Shock! :) It was very hard for me to pick which one to go first, but ultimately I picked Hope and Rafael because of this season. When Hope came back and no one remembered her I could have sworn that Rafael’s werewolf state would have been immune to Malivore’s power and he would have remembered Hope as she took the spell off of him. While this did not happen, we did get some cute scenes between them. I like how he immediately still liked her even though he didn’t remember their past. I like how he looked for her at the dance and hung out with her afterwards. Of course, it was super ironic when Landon wanted to be his wingman, but it was nice seeing Rafael happy as he’s not often. Then once the truth was uncovered he went back to avoiding Hope. This is a relationship that I am surprised they are already exploring. As I mentioned with Hosie, Hope and Rafael felt like a potential relationship, but that would be developed more later-not already in the first season. I am very surprised how many love triangles are already emerging and it’s only season two, which begs the question how long Hope and Landon will stay together? You know you have a good show on your hands when you can ship so many people together and be happy with multiple pairings and alternatives. (Although I would prefer Hope with either Josie or Raf over Landon for sure.)

7. The Walking Dead: Rick and Michonne  

Aww, another ship with a devastating ending. Seems to be a common thread with some of these. Rick and Michonne were two people that complimented each other nicely throughout the earlier seasons and just made sense when they officially became a couple. They had similar personalities and were like a little family living in Alexandria before they actually became a family. Rick had a few different flames before Michonne, but none were as right for him as she was. Watching the past one and a half seasons without him on the show feels different, and I really miss seeing the two of them lead Alexandria. Michonne, Judith and RJ are keeping him alive, but it isn’t the same as seeing him there. Despite all of this remorse, I really did enjoy seeing them together on the show and I think it came at the perfect time. They had a bond, but were able to act on something more once they reached more stability. I know  Danai Gurira wants to leave Walking Dead soon. I just hope there’s a way she can see Rick before she does.  

6. Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Jake and Amy

Last year I got to be introduced to Jake and Amy and watch their relationship develop from “hating” each other to something more. Now in the latest season as the show moved to NBC I got to see more of them as they took their honeymoon and Jake stood up to Amy’s parents. While it feels like a very long time ago that I watched this season (and I am very happy to see it is all available on demand so I can catch up before the new episodes), I can remember really enjoying the episodes and this couple even more. I know I’ve said this before, but I really enjoy the kind of ships that don’t always have to be around each other, but you hear them talk about each other or state something that remind you that they are a couple. Those often feel like the realest ones to me. I honestly think Jake and Amy can go down as one of my favorite ships of all time. (That’s BIG I know.) I am so excited that we are going to get more seasons of Brooklyn Nine Nine because it is what they (and we) deserve. 

5. Single Parents: Will and Angie

A slow burn that feels like it might be coming to confession time.... That’s just an inference from reading next week’s episode description. A classic plot device: people assume they are together and they have to “pretend to be a couple.” We ALWAYS know how these story-lines end up. Will and Angie have always had a connection since season one. They were the two that I thought would be together, so it was a bit of a shock when Douglas and Poppy became the first ones in a couple. (Although I really enjoy the two of them as well.) I don’t see the show pairing up two of their major couples at the same time, so while I don’t want Douglas and Poppy to break up I REALLY WANT WILL AND ANGIE TOGETHER. This season they have become best of friends; as they often call each other. Almost like they are rubbing it in our faces! Before the mid-season break there were quite a few moments alluding to something more happening between the two of them. I mean Will’s girlfriend called out Angie during Thanksgiving. I think that might have caused some realization for Angie. I have a strong feeling Graham’s dad is going to come back into the picture and ruin things. Either way you know I’ll be watching this Wednesday and hoping for something monumental to happen!  

4. Jane the Virgin: Jane and Rafael

I know it’s SHOCKING! As someone who was so Team Michael at the start I have placed Jane and Rafael so far up on this list. Well, after Michael’s death and watching the two of them get so close before becoming romantically involved again made me grow to really enjoy them together. I really love the fact that they were endgame. I seriously got worried there when Jason came back into the picture, which made me not a huge fan of the first half of this last season. Luckily, the second half of the season was fantastic as Jane won back Rafael and they officially became husband and wife. The more I write about this show the more I want to add it to my ‘Want to watch again list.’ I feel it will be different because now I know what’s to come, but I can still enjoy all the great moments. 

3. The 100: Bellamy and Clarke

Yes, I’m just about as shocked as you are (again) that Bellarke is not my number one pick this year (yet again). But I have to keep you on your toes and I don’t want to seem too predictable. I had to evaluate these last couple very closely. If you are on this page you know of my LOVE for Bellamy and Clarke. Number One Bellarke fan, right here. So every season that Jason Rothenberg gives us a little more I am a happy girl. As a Bellarke fan you train yourself for this. Well, this season, despite Bellamy still being in a relationship with Echo, we got several monumental Bellarke moments. From Bellamy recognizing that Clarke was still alive and helping take down Josephine, the CPR scene, more head and the heart talk (I’m dead btw) and more and more hugs. With only one season left I am praying to the gods that we will have them become endgame. This will be our last chance and you cannot tell me that everything we witnessed in this last season was PLATONIC! I’m sorry, but no. These two are meant for each other. Their love is so strong, that Eliza and Bob got married in real life. (Which can we just say how I still have moments where I’m like did this happen???) Such a good year for them. Cannot wait for the last season. 

2. iZombie: Liv and Major

I called it! I hoped these two would be endgame, but as the final season progressed I was getting more and more worried. Liv and Major would have scenes together, but they were strictly business. I could always feel like something was still between them, but we were running out of time and didn’t know how they would conclude it all. Well, I am extremely happy that not only did they wind up together, but they are in a place where they can have a family and be together forever. I know I haven’t spoken about this couple much, but I have always liked the characters together on the show. While their time romantically together was pretty short overall, their characters drastically changed from season one episode one. There were times when I liked their new love interests, but I always hoped they would wind up together. Happy to see this ending. 

AND NUMBER ONE GOES TO........

1. Anne with an E: Anne and Gilbert

Shirbert for the win!!! While season three has just been released on Netflix, I have seen MANY spoilers thanks to YouTube for the third (and sadly final) season. Could I have avoided them? Of course I could have, but I didn’t have the will power. I only watched a couple, but they were some big moments between these two. As a fan of the books and other adaptations of the beloved classic I knew Anne and Gilbert were meant to be even with all the back and forth/will they won’t between them. Just like any good movie or show, just knowing the outcome doesn’t make it true and they extended this slow burn nicely. I cannot wait to watch the full third season on Netflix this month and experience all the romance again. These two are meant for each other and I am just upset that we won’t be able to see more of their story. 

Shirbert forever! 

[illfoandillfie]

Seaside Rendezvous - Part 3

READ PART 1  // PART 2

Request:  Can you please write a hc for going on a island vaca at a resort with your family after college finals and you meet joe (also a college student) and you two see each other a ton but you are always with your family so not much happens but flirty small talk and you both end up having a lot of sexual tension and go into one of your rooms when you’re family is out and just some smut happens?

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SMUT (FINALLY) 18+, Golf related double entendres, not-quite-hate sex, unprotected sex,but also protected sex, choking, oral sex (m & f receiving), mild spanking, shower sex, mentions of edging, handjob. 

Words: 8969

A/N: Ummmm, I don’t even know what to say. I kinda can’t believe I’ve finished it. Or how many words I took to do it. Thank you so fucking much to the anon who sent in the original request because this was so much fun to write. I really hope you enjoy the payoff for all the bullshit I put them through in the first two chapters. It might just be because I’m still so close to this story but I kinda wanna write more for them so if you have blurb requests about what else they got up to or whatever send them my way lmao

Taglist: @laedymoon  @somekind-ofcheese @dtfrogertaylor   @ezmina98  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @bowiequeen  @hannafuckingsucks @bemy-clementine

@ramibaby  @briarrose26 @d34d-0n-th3-1ns1d3  @painkiller80 @stephydearestxo​

You cursed yourself when you woke and remembered what was in store for the day. You cursed your Mom for being so intent on manipulating your love life. You cursed your Dad for being the type of guy who would make friends with the first man he talked to. You cursed Joe for being the first man your Dad talked to. And for everything else that’d happened last night. And then you cursed yourself again for getting stuck in this position and for flirting with Joe in the first place and for not sleeping with him when you had the chance. The very quick orgasm you’d been able to rub out before the rest of your family returned to your rooms wasn’t anywhere near enough. It wasn’t what you wanted. Maybe if you’d had a bit more time it would have been more satisfying. But you hadn’t been sure how long they’d take to finish their meal or whether they’d come straight up to the rooms or hang out downstairs for a while, so you’d rushed. It was almost worth it, though, to see your mother so surprised to find you sitting up in bed reading. She’d almost jumped when she realised you were there, hand landing over her heart like you’d sprung out from behind a wall and yelled boo. Of course, she’d had to pretend otherwise in front of Erin, not wanting to explain where she thought you’d actually be. Thank god she was going to be occupied all day because you did not want to have the ‘I just think you should socialise with people your own age’ talk that was all poorly hidden code for ‘I’m hungry for gossip and your sex life is the best thing to potentially tell everyone about’. The reminder that your Mom and Erin would be busy made you curse Joe again. If he’d not been such an impatient dick about it, you probably would have had the entire day to yourselves, to spend however you wanted wearing as few clothes as you deemed necessary. Instead you’d be spending the day with your Dad. Playing golf.

Joe, wearing a red polo shirt that looked way too good on him, greeted you stiffly when you met up with him and your father at the entrance to the golf course, obviously displeased about how last night had gone. He barely looked at you as you hired out clubs and made your way to the first hole, though you thought you might have caught him peeking at your ass once or twice. It’d be a lie to say you’d not specifically chosen the shorts you wore because of how good they made you look, though you weren’t sure if it was because you wanted to make Joe suffer a little or to tempt him into touching you again. Maybe a bit of both. Either way, he remained aloof, mostly ignoring you, for the first couple of holes anyway. If your Dad noticed any tension between you and Joe, he didn’t let on, talking to you both about the game and constantly sharing tips he’d picked up over the years. By hole number three he’d had made a couple of bad hits, having to head into a sand trap to retrieve his ball. Which left you and Joe. Standing there. Waiting. He cracked first. “Didn’t expect you to show,” he sneered, one eye on your father. “And miss this? You’re in a charming mood by the way,” “I’m not in any mood, I’m just a little tired.” “Sure, if you say so. Just, tell me this one thing. Is that because you were up all night thinking about me?” There was a triumphant cry from your father as he finally managed to get his ball free of the sand. You clapped as he returned to where you and Joe were standing, taking a theatrical bow. “Sorry, I’m usually a bit better than that.” “Don’t worry Dad, me and Joe aren’t very good so it’s probably better for us if you’re having an off day.” Alright Joe, you’re up,” your Dad said with a laugh, “Just remember to grip your shaft softly and stroke it smooth and you’ll get it in the hole no problem.” “And maybe don’t feel the ball up under the dinner table,” you said soft enough so only Joe would hear as he walked past you to line up his shot. You weren’t sure if he was just generally terrible at golf, or because you’d got inside his head, but either way it took him three tries to hit the ball and when he did he sent it off in the wrong direction. “Oh, bad lucky Joey,” you teased as he scowled at you. “As if you could do better,” “Watch me.”

You did do better, thank god, though not by much. You hadn’t gotten to the hole, but you were at least in the right general area. It was enough to piss Joe off further, his competitiveness coming out with his frustration. At the next hole he managed to get the ball in first try, earning a hearty congratulations from your Dad and a half-hearted one from you. “It’s because he took my advice,” your Dad said proudly, “I told him to put his head down and spread his legs a bit and see Y/N, he did it and it worked, straight in the hole. Maybe you should give it a shot too.” “Yes, Y/N, why don’t you try spreading your legs a bit more,” Joe laughed. You resisted the urge to ask him for a hands-on demonstration as you took your own, much less successful shot. As soon as your Dad was far enough away, leading you on to the next hole, Joe turned back to you. “Careful Y/N, more shots that pathetic and I might just win.” “You got lucky.” “Only right one of us should.” “Aww, you still mad I left you high and dry last night? Your hand just not good enough?” “Don’t act like you had any better. Besides, you don’t know I didn’t go off and find someone else. You’re not the only girl who can dress slutty and play at being the damsel in distress. “Nice try but the jealousy card won’t work. Already admitted to thinking about me all night.” “I did not admit that.” “Not intentionally but I can see it in your eyes. I saw it the moment you said good morning to me.” “Fine, maybe you’re right. I was thinking about you alone in your room, touching yourself. Trying to decide if you’d be using your fingers or if you were extra naughty and brought a toy with you.” “And how’d that work out for you?” “A shit night sleep actually. And I couldn’t make up my mind, both were such nice images. But I did come to one conclusion,” “Yeah?” “Yeah. You were thinking about me while you did it.” You were left scrambling to form a coherent sentence as he laughed and walked ahead.

By the ninth hole things were overtly competitive. Your Dad’s game had picked up, putting him well in the lead but you and Joe barely noticed, much too desperate to outdo the other to worry about anything else. Days of frustration, sexual and otherwise, had boiled into a competitiveness neither of you realised you were capable of. The in between moments, while you were unable to focus your aggression onto your balls, were spent at each other’s throats. Whispered comments ranging from insulting your game to insulting his manhood. Condescending tones and lazy double entendres. When you were trying to determine which of your clubs would be best Joe leaned over and cockily offered you one of his. “You could try my 5-Wood. Bigger head means you might have a chance of getting close.” “Sorry, Joe. Your clubs don’t have long enough shafts for me, couldn’t possibly be satisfying.” When he took an inordinately long time to make a shot you told him he could bang it in the back or slip it in gently but either way to hurry up. He fumbled it completely. Then, after your next swing he made sure to complement you on your bounce while staring directly at your chest. At hole 14 things got a little more personal. You casually let slip that you were, in fact, using your fingers last night, and asked Joe if knowing that for sure would have helped him sleep better. “You’re a fucking cock tease, Y/N,” he growled, “I don’t think you ever intended to sleep with me, you just get off from leading people on. Well I’m fucking done with it; you can go choke.” “Oh, kinky. Didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.” He huffed out a breath but otherwise didn’t respond.” “Don’t go quiet on me now, right when I’ve learnt about your little kink. You’d like to choke me, wouldn’t you? Did you think about it last night, while you were, y’know...?” you made a jerk off motion with your hand. “You’re right, I would like that, anything to shut you up for half a minute, but don’t pretend you’re not hot for it too. I can see you dripping from here.” “Well, you know me, I get off from being a tease apparently. You’re up. Try to hit the ball straight this time.”

The score at the end of the game was in your favour, but not by much. Your Dad just smiled at you as you cheered, amused by your celebrating but Joe was gritting his teeth. “Well that was fun,” your Dad said glancing at his watch, “do we want to play a few more rounds? It’s still fairly early,” “Actually, I really should head back,” Joe said, all smiles and polite words to your father, though perhaps a little more tart than he normally would have spoken, “I’ve got a thing booked for this afternoon so I probably should go shower and get changed. It’s been fun though; we should do this again.” “Not to worry Joe, thanks for indulging me today,” they shook hands and then Joe shouldered past you to return his clubs. “What about you Y/N? Up for some more?” “As fun as that sounds, I think I might head off too. I’ve been thinking about a mocktail and a bubble bath for the last three holes. Since the room’s free I might make hay while the sun shines.” "Cold drink doesn’t sound half bad now that you say that.” He walked with you back towards the main part of the resort, laughing and chatting about the game you’d just played, and commenting on how he’d missed having your sanity round the house. Joe was a little way ahead of you, but you determinedly kept your eyes anywhere but on the back of his head. On the off chance that he might turn around you didn’t want him to think you were staring at him. At the entrance to the lobby your Dad bid you farewell, heading off in the direction of the bar and leaving you to make your way upstairs.

Inside was quiet, most guests already out enjoying the sun and the sea. A handful of people milled around by the front desk with their suitcases, waiting to check into, or out of, their rooms and a few people wearing not much more than their bathers hurried past as you approached the elevator. The only other person waiting to head up to their room turned, eyes following a bikini clad woman, though he stopped once his vision met you. “There she is, The Tease. Heading off to make some other poor bastard miserable?” “You’re only miserable because you suck at golf. Fucking sore loser too, running off the second you found out I’d beat you.” “It was two points, it barely counts.” “Three points,” there was a ding and you followed Joe into the elevator, “And you of all people should know it’s not the size of the score that matters, only who you fuck over with it.” The words were barely out of your mouth before Joe was on you, pushing you up against the back wall and kissing you hungrily. If you’d been shocked by his sudden movement it didn’t last long, quickly giving way to the need to kiss him back. Your nails scraped at his shirt as you tried to press your bodies closer, helped by his hand sliding down to squeeze your ass as he pulled your hips into his. He leaned his other arm on the wall beside your head, anchoring you into place, not that you had any intention of trying to escape. He kissed you like he did at the market, needily and messily, though the intensity was a hundred times more, desire and frustration burning through you both. “Thought you said you were done with me,” you tried to sound disdainful as he pulled away, still firmly pinning you to the wall, but the words came out as more of a gasp than a sneer. “I said I was done with your teasing,” he managed to achieve the harsh tone you’d been going for as a second ding caught you by surprise and the elevator reached your floor, “C’mon,” he half growled, grabbing your hand to pull you down the corridor towards his room. You couldn’t help but giggle as he pushed you inside, still pissed off with him but more than a little giddy at the prospect of finally being able to do what you’d been wanting to do since you first saw him. He towered over you as he backed you further into the room, towards his bed, roughly tugging at your shirt, pulling it over your head and throwing it to the floor, before doing the same with his. You felt the back of your legs hit the bed and for a moment everything froze, both of you breathing hard. And then his hand was on your shoulder, pushing you down across the mattress, your legs dangling over the edge. He wasted no time in pulling your shoes and socks off as you unhooked your bra, tossing it aside. Your shorts came off next, followed quickly by your panties. “Already soaked for me,” his voice was rough and so were his fingers as he pushed your legs up and open wider, and delved into your heat, stoking the fire that had been building for days as he stretched you out. “Y-you say that like you haven’t been sporting a s-semi every time you’ve thought about me for the last-t four days. Oh fuck.” You whined as Joe wrenched his fingers free of you to dig through his bedside draw, ”No need to complain, gonna give you something better than my fingers in a second,” “Y’know your dick is in your pants, not the draws,” “Remember when a simple kiss could have you speechless? Fuck I miss that.” “What are you doing?” “Looking for a condom, swore I put them here.” “Are you clean? Cause I’m clean and on the pill and sick of waiting.” “You sure?” He asked already tugged his short and underwear off. “Yes, I’m sure. Just fuck m –,” you were cut off, breath catching in your throat as he thrust into you. “What was it you were saying about size? Seems I’m big enough to shut you up, finally.” And then he paused, swallowing thickly and squeezing his eyes shut as you both adjusted and revelled in the feeling.

The moment didn’t last long before he was taking you roughly, pushing gasps and whines from you with every snap of his hips. Neither of you were patient enough to slow down, desperate for a release from the energy that had pent-up with every flirtatious look and teasing word. “That - oh! - that the best you can do?” Joe didn’t bother to answer, just growled as he leaned over and moved one hand from your thigh to your throat. The tight squeeze of his fingers and the weight of his palm pressing into you made you clench down on his dick. He let out a low chuckle, “Knew you’d enjoy that. Been begging for it all morning.” You clutched at the sheets as he grabbed your ankle in his free hand and pulled your leg up, knee bent and foot resting over his shoulder. “Jesus,” he groaned as the change of position allowed him to sink deeper into you. All you could manage was a choked moan as he fucked you relentlessly, still squeezing your throat. He dropped his fingers to your clit, rubbing it in harsh circles that only made you moan more. “Please tell me you’re close,” he grunted. “Mmhm close, fuck Joe,” “Say that again,” “’m close,” “My name, say my name again,” You did one better, moaning his name as he released your throat completely. The rush of breath returning to you flooded your system making everything feel heightened, sending you careening into your orgasm. You chanted his name as you rode out your high and were still repeating it when he kissed you again, pulling out and following you over the edge, covering your stomach with his cum as your noses bumped together and you whined against his lips.

“Well,” you said, a little nervously, as he stood up and held out his hand to pull you up too. You felt a little unsteady as you stood, but Joe kept hold of your hand, his other reaching out to brush some of your hair behind your ear. “Yeah.” “Worth the wait?” “Absolutely.” He leaned in to kiss you softly, all traces of his previous mood gone. He was still standing close, foreheads almost touching when you softly said, “I gotta pee. And clean up,” waving a hand in front of your stomach. You both laughed as he let you go with a, “shit, yeah, of course,” and a lingering look. When you returned to the room he was waiting for you, bed covers draped over his lap as he leaned against the wall, a pillow shoved behind his back. His head was bent, attention focused on something in his hands though it was drawn back to you when you spoke. “So, that was something,” “Yeah, um, definitely something.” What’s that supposed to mean? You climbed into bed next to him, leaving a space between you as you made to lean against the wall like he was, blankets pulled a little higher to cover your chest. Instead he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side, shuffling closer so you could lean into him properly. “What you got there?” You pointed at the object that held his focus, a small package wrapped in brown paper. It crinkled as his fingers moved over it. “This,” he said, “was meant to be a goodbye present. I was going to give it to you on the last day we were both here as, umm, just like, a little, I don’t know, keepsake? It was going to come with a very funny note about how much fun I’d had fucking you into oblivion, or how your pussy was worth sneaking around behind your family’s backs or something like that. I haven’t written it yet, but it would have been fucking hilarious.” He paused, running his thumbs over the brown paper again, still looking at you, “Instead, I’d like to give it to you with an apology. For being such an ass.” “Joe, y-,” “I know you’re about to say I don’t have to, but I do. I was a dick. I knew you were specifically trying to keep your family uninvolved and I still did…. everything I did, and then I acted like a jerk to you today. So, I’m sorry.” He held out the package, but you didn’t take it straight away. “For the record, this is very sweet and you didn’t need to buy me anything…” “I know,” “… But I also wasn’t going to stop you from apologising. I’m really glad you did because last night sucked. But some of that was on me too. I was a bit of a dick too. But maybe not quite as much as you were,” Joe laughed and squeezed you tighter, “Will you just take the gift already so we can forget all that. It doesn’t matter.” You reached out for the package, sitting up a little straighter and unwrapping it slowly. The necklace and earrings he’d offered to buy you at the markets fell out onto your lap, a bright white and yellow plumeria on each item. “I went back and got them, that day at the market, after we separated. Do you like them?” “They’re lovely.” “I thought it’d be nice for you to have something physical you could keep, even after we leave.” “Thank you, I really love it,” you pulled him down into another kiss. “And again, they were going to be attached to a note about all the sex we, theoretically, had.” His face was serious as he spoke but there was a barely contained laugh in his voice that made you laugh too. “So, you’ve been imagining us having sex?” you swept the jewellery into your palm and leaned over to place it on the bedside table, “that demonstration just before, was that something you’d imagined?” “That was….not how I thought it’d go,” he said with a chuckle as he rubbed the back of his head, “not the first time anyway.” “How did you think it’d go?” “Less rough, for one. A bit clumsy and stuff but more…. intentional than it ended up being.” “So, not a spur of the moment thing after hours of winding each other up?” “Definitely not. I was going to be much more prepared. At least have a condom within easy reach. I found them by the way, I was looking in the wrong draw.” “You’re such a dork,” you giggled, shifting yourself to straddle his lap, looping your arms around his neck as his hands fell to your waist. “Think you’ve told me that before,” “Because it’s true. But I also imagined it’d go a bit differently.” “Different how?” “Like you said, less rough. I was also going to be on top, umm, because it’s been a while and I thought it’d be better if I was more in control.” “Y/N, shit,” Concern was written over his face but you cut him off before he could ask if you were okay. “No, it was good, Joe” you brought your hand to his cheek reassuringly, “really good. I’m happy with how it actually happened.”

He leaned in to kiss you again, smiling as he paused just before your lips touched. His breath was warm on your lips and you thought he probably would have said the same of yours, except that you’d stopped breathing. You closed the gap, a series of soft shallow kisses that gradually lingered longer, became deeper. Your chest felt tight and there were butterflies going wild in your gut. Perhaps it was the conversation you’d just had, vulnerable and candid, or just the dramatic shift from how you’d interacted earlier in the day. Whatever it was had you feeling more nervous than you had when he pushed you against the wall of the elevator or even when he tore off your clothes. He was more careful in the way he touched you, more deliberate, so you gathered he was feeling something akin to what you were. His fingertips rested softly against you, contrasted against the faint marks left from where he’d grabbed you so tightly before. Perhaps being so open had been a mistake. It wasn’t something you usually let happen after only knowing a guy for a few days. But, then again, it wasn’t like you had forever with Joe, just a few short weeks. He pulled you tighter against him, chests pressed together, and you tried to shut off your brain, stop overthinking and just focus on Joe and the moment at hand. It was slow this time. Before you’d been in a rush, desperate lust driving you to move fast and hard, spurring each other on. A feeling like if you didn’t hurry up and fuck you’d lose the chance. Even before that, when you’d kissed at the market, when you’d gotten so close in your bathroom, it was always rushed for fear of being caught out. But this time, there was none of that. That frantic need had mellowed. There was no clock to outrun, no chance of intrusion from well-meaning but unwanted relatives. You could take your time, soak each other in. And you did. Dragging your hands down over his shoulders until they rested against his chest, able to feel his heartbeat speed up under your palm. He brought his lips to your neck, pulling sighs and heavier breaths from you with each slight scrape of his stubble. Even when you finally rolled the condom down his shaft and lowered yourself onto him and he brought his hands up to cup your breasts and you moaned as you rode him, even then it was tender, almost delicate. A quiet sort of desire that drew you onwards until you were muffling your moans in his neck and quivering as you came undone

Afterwards you cleaned up and began to redress. Joe had slipped his underwear back on while you were in the bathroom, before collapsing back onto the bed. “What are you doing?” he said softly, watching as you picked up your shorts from where he’d thrown them into the floor. “You can’t expect me to walk back to my room half naked,” “I don’t go back to your room just yet.” “But my family…” “Are all busy,” he kneeled up and grabbed your hand and pulled you back towards the bed, “Your Mom and sister will still be occupied with the hula show and your Dad is probably having a nap or relaxing by the pool. We still have time.” “I don’t want them to see me leave here,” “They won’t. Just come back to bed for a little longer.” You worried at your lip for a few seconds, thinking it over. You’ve spent the last half a week wanting nothing more than to be in Joe’s bed, why are you in such a rush to leave? Finally, you nodded and dropped your shorts again, climbing back into bed in nothing but your shirt and panties. Joe wriggled closer, throwing his arm over you as you curled into him. “I’ll check if the coast is clear for you before you leave. And I’ll come up with some way to throw your mother off, okay?” “Thank you,” “Least I can do.” You shuffled around, getting comfortable, and lay your head against Joe’s shoulder. “Can I ask you something?” he said softly, “you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” “Sure, what is it?” “Your Mom mentioned a breakup, last night. I assume that’s got something to do with why,” he waved his hands around the both of you, “this is happening.” “Yeah, kind of. I guess I just need something casual at the moment, no strings, no labels, just fun.” “I can do fun,” “Yes, you’ve made that abundantly clear. What about you? There a particular reason you’ve had to come to Hawaii to get laid?” “You kid but that’s not actually that far from the truth. Started with a bad breakup more than a few months back. And I mean bad. Been in a bit of a dry spell ever since. One of my friends suggested I take a break after we were done with exams, just head off to somewhere new and use the time away to find myself or, whatever hippy bullshit he’s goes on about. But I figured, fuck it, why not go somewhere new.” “How’d you pick Hawaii?” “It was cheap and sunny. And there was a high chance of seeing some cute girls in bikinis.” “The three most important things to think about when booking a vacation.” “Well, seems to be working out well enough.” He let his hand slide down your side until it landed on your ass, squeezing it to make you laughed. “So what do you have in mind then? To throw Mom off I mean. Gonna make it a whole lot easier to sneak around if she’s not constantly watching us.” You talked quietly for a bit longer, plotting a potential plan, but, both worn out, it wasn’t long before your breathing evened out and you fell asleep with your head in the crook of Joe’s neck, his soft snores filing the otherwise silent room.

Waking up was hard, the nap not having lasted as long as you would have liked. Convincing yourself to get out of bed was harder still. You knew you had to so you could get ready to meet your family for dinner but the draw of staying cuddled up to Joe was very tempting. You hadn’t realised how much you’d missed the feeling of being so physically close to someone since you’d dumped Eddie. Plus, staying meant you got to make out some more and, really, that sounded like a wonderful way to spend the night. With a sigh you pushed yourself up and finished getting dressed. Joe stirred as you were slipping your shoes back on. “Where’re you going?” “Shower. And then down to dinner,” “What time is it?” “It’s like, six o’clock, just about.” “Shit, really? Guess you should go then.” “I’ll come back later, after Erin’s asleep,” you grabbed the jewellery Joe had given you from the bedside table, already planning on wearing it to dinner. “Pretty sure the last time you said you’d be back, you ended up ditching me to go drinking with your parents,” “Well if I don’t show up, you’ll know where I am. See you later.” “Wait!” Joe sat up suddenly, throwing back the covers “I said I’d help you sneak back.” “Stay in bed, I’m sure no one will see.” “No no no, I’ll check. Don’t want you getting mad at me again.” “I wouldn’t,” “You’ve withheld sex once before, I’m not risking it again, he laughed, throwing a shirt and shorts on, “besides, couldn’t let you leave without…” his lips were on yours in a heartbeat as he pulled you close. “That’s so unfair, making me wanna stay,” “Guess you’ll just have to make sure you come back then. Now wait here for my signal.” You chuckled as he slipped out the door, his footsteps treading slowly down the hall until he was in sight of your room. A moment later there was a knock at the door. You peeked out to find Joe, hand held up beside his face like a gun. He put a finger to his ear like he was listening to a hearing device, “Coast is clear. Safe to move. Go! Go! Go!” You laughed as you followed him quickly back down the hall, his finger gun drawn the whole way, holding it out as you rounded a corner. When you reached your room he waited until you’d pulled out your key before announcing, “The eagle is in the nest.” With a final glance around to double check you were definitely alone, you called him a dork again, leaned up to kiss him once more and then ducked into your room, grinning.

Dinner went slower than you wanted, but no one suspected you were lying when you said you’d spent the afternoon on the beach. Erin, unhelpfully, announced that she and your Mom had also been on the beach, but it was large enough and busy enough that it was reasonable for you not to have seen each other. There was also a question raised about your jewellery, but you covered by saying you’d bought it the day you bought Erin hers but had forgotten about it until that afternoon. Other than that the meal passed incident free. Afterwards you all made your way out to the pool to relax and have a drink or two. The only interruption was a brief lecture from your mother. From her position on a lounge, she caught sight of Joe heading towards the bar. If he’d been closer she probably would have called out to him, instead she suggested you go and get her a refill. Before you could do more than sigh and swing your legs off your own lounge chair, she threw out an arm to stop you. Joe was leaning against the counter of the bar, chatting up another girl. Her eyes narrowed as if she were trying to read their lips despite how far away she sat. She couldn’t miss it however when the girl wrote her number on a napkin and handed it to Joe. “Would you look at that. You know, this is what happens when you play hard to get Y/N. There is a time to make a man work for your attention, but a vacation is not it. The girls back home will be so disappointed for you.” You lay back down and tuned her out as much as you could, trying not to smile at how well the plan you’d hatched had worked. After that it was just killing time until you could go upstairs with Erin and wait for her to talk herself into exhaustion. Patiently, you listened to her babble about the tiki statue she’d decorated, pointing out all her artistic choices but refusing to let you pick it up off her bedside table for a closer look. When she finally did fall asleep you watched the clock tick for another fifteen minutes, just to make sure she was really out. Then you changed into your bikini and a robe and left the room as quietly as possible.

Joe answered after the first knock. “Should start calling you beaver,” you said as you stepped inside, noting the confused look Joe gave you, “because you’re so eager.” “Oh, my mind went…somewhere else entirely.” “Perv!” you laughed, giving him a playful slap on the shoulder. “Is it pervy to ask what you’ve got on under the robe?” “A little but I’ll let it slide.” His eyes raked you up and down as you slowly pulled the belt of your robe loose, letting it fall open. “You wore it,” he grinned, meeting your eyes briefly before lowering his gaze back to your scantily clad body. “Had to compete with the pool bar girl somehow,” slowly, you let the robe slip off your shoulders, falling to the floor in a heap. You lay a hand against Joe’s chest, walking him further into the room, “If you want I can make this quick, so you’ll be ready to meet her later.” He gulped, shaking his head, “I don’t think making this quick is going to be a problem.” “You don’t even know what I’m going to do yet,” you kept your eyes locked on his as you ran your fingers along the waistband of his shorts, sinking to your knees as you tugged them down along with his underwear. “Jesus,” he whimpered, watching closely as you spat into your palm before wrapping your hand around his cock. “You weren’t lying were you? So hard already. Guess I better get started then.” Keeping your eyes up, you gently began to kitten lick around his tip, gradually trailing your tongue further down the underside of his shaft and then dragging it back up to focus on his tip again. When you decided he was suitably worked up, his breathing heavy and uneven, you took him between your lips. His hand fell to the top of your head but he didn’t try to force you to take more of his dick, instead just rested it there as you set the pace. You bobbed up and down on his cock, deliberately going slow so you could adjust. Every so often you’d return to lavishing his head with kisses and licks before sinking back down and hollowing your cheeks. When you felt your jaw getting tired you pulled back, slowly working your hand over him instead. “I’m not gonna last much longer,” “I figured, from the why you’ve been panting and moaning.” “Can’t blame me, you’re very good at this.” “Well, I try. If you want I can try deepthroating you until you cum.” “Fuck, you can do that?” “It’s been a while, might require a position change but yeah I should be able to. You up for it?” “Yes, god yes. Where do you want me?” “Might be easiest if I lie on the bed.” “Sure, whatever you think is best.” You giggled at how earnest and excited he sounded as you took his offered hand to stand up again. You took a second to stretch your muscles, knees stiff from the rough carpet, before climbing onto the bed. “This gives me a little less control than before so if I need to stop I’ll tap you okay?” “Yeah, of course. I’ll start slow. One question though,” “Shoot,” “Can I choke you again?” “You mean while you’re fucking my throat? Yeah that sounds hot. Ready?” Joe nodded as you got as comfortable as you could be with your head hanging over the edge of the bed. You were reminded suddenly that this was the exact spot he’d fucked you hard after you’d come back from golf, except you were turned the other way around. A shiver running through you at the thought. When you were ready you gave Joe a quick tap to let him know and then tried to focus on staying relaxed as he slipped back into your mouth. You could feel his hand resting against your throat again, not squeezing, just gently tracing his fingers and thumb up and down your neck as he slowly worked his cock deeper. The sensation of his fingers helped you stay calm and focused as you held onto his hips, controlling his movements as much as possible. As he gradually fucked you deeper, drawing extra gags from you, he brought both hands to your throat, thumbs almost overlapping towards the base of your neck, squeezing harder the longer and faster he fucked you. “Fuck, Y/N,” he panted, “can feel my dick moving in your throat. Under my hands. Holy shit that’s hot. Can see it too, when I move my hands away.” He did exactly that, releasing your throat so he could watch his cock move under your skin. It wasn’t long before his hands were back in place though, pressing down on the bulge. You hummed as you felt him tighten his hold a little more. “I’m, fuck, I’m g-gonna, gonna cum.” You squeezed his hip a little tighter to let him know it was okay. It was all the invitation he needed, holding himself deep in your throat and squeezing tight as he moaned through his release. When he finally released your throat and stepped back you rolled onto your stomach, coughing a little as you tried to get your breathing back to normal. “Are you okay?” he asked, rubbing your back as the coughs subsided. “Yeah, I’m great.” “You’re fucking incredible is what you are,” he tilted your chin up so he could kiss you softly, “But you’re going to have to stop wearing that bikini for the rest of your vacation because, after that, I’m not gonna be able to see you in it without cumming in my pants.” You chuckled as he sat down next to you, leaning your forehead on his shoulder. “Just give me a couple minutes to collect myself and I’ll return the favour,” “No rush, I’m a little worn out myself. You still got that vodka?” “Yeah, umm, think it’s in the wardrobe.” You patted his leg as you stood, head still a little dizzy from having hung upside down, and made your way to where he’d indicated, finding the bottle almost as soon as you opened the door. “Balcony?” He nodded as he pulled his pants back on, following you out. This time you both opted for the chairs, rather than sliding to the floor, but you pulled them so they were next to each other, facing out across the ocean. You unscrewed the lid and took a swig of the vodka, before handing the bottle over. For a minute you sat in silence, listening to the waves against the shore, passing the bottle between you. Until Joe’s voice cut through the quiet. “So, what’s on the cards for tomorrow? Your Mom booked another activity that you’ll be stuck doing?” “Nah, don’t think so. Well, I think I’ve been uninvited from whatever she had planned. She’s pretty disappointed about you chatting up other girls and me not being visibly upset by it. Don’t think she can stand to look at me right now.” you laughed. “Does that mean you’ll be free all day then?” “Yeah. I’ll have to double check in the morning in case she’s calmed down, but I should be.” “Cool.” “Any requests for what I should wear?” “ Hmmm,” he leaned in, making a face like he was thinking hard, “don’t really mind as long as it’s easy to remove.” You thought he was going to kiss you again but instead he grabbed the bottle from your hand while you were focused on his lips, leaning back as soon as he hand it in his grasp and taking a sip. “Fuck you, I was drinking that,” “Think you were a little too distracted to drink. Besides I’m cutting you off again.” “Bullshit, I’ve barely had any,” “No, but I want you on the bed.”  You giggled as he grabbed your hand and practically pulled you out of your chair, leading you back inside. The vodka was almost dropped in his eagerness to get you out of your clothes again, but you caught it in time, leaving it safely standing on the bedside table as he pulled at the ties of your bikini top. As soon as it hit the floor Joe grabbed your hips and turned you towards the bed, giving your ass a small spank as you hurried to lie down. “We should talk about what we’re into,” he said nonchalantly as he followed you into the middle of the bed, kneeling between your parted legs. “What, like bands and books and shit?” “No dummy, kinks and stuff. Since we’re working on a strict time limit, we should probably discuss it, make sure we’re both having fun.” “Okay, now?” “Later, when I’m not eating you out.” You laugh stuttered into a whine as he dropped his head to press a kiss to your bikini bottoms, right over your clit.

He made you cum twice with his mouth and then once again on his cock, fucking you into the mattress while your nails left marks along his back. After, while your legs stopped shaking and your heartbeat slowed back to normal, you and Joe talked some more. He lay on his stomach, head propped up in his hands, looking up at you as he explained that you absolutely could start calling him Beaver, since he felt he’d earned the nickname now. Your fit of laughter hitched as you noticed the clock on his wall. “Shit, is that really the time? I should go,” “Already? You’re ruining my plans Y/N,” “What plans? I don’t believe you’ve ever made a plan in your life,” “Excuse you! I’ll tell you, I had big plans. Plans that involved cuddling you while we drank some more.” “As fun as that sounds,” you chuckled, “if I stay, I’ll fall asleep here. And if I fall asleep here it means I won’t be in my bed in the morning. And if I’m not in my bed in the morning I’ll be in for another lecture about looking after my sister and a whole bunch of questions I don’t want to answer.” “That’s fair, I guess.” “Besides, I’ll be back here tomorrow…or today I guess.” “Okay,” he exhaled the word against your stomach as he left a kiss there, “But I’m going to have to fuck you, hard, to make up for it.” “Oh, of course. Wouldn’t expect anything less. Though maybe something more, a spanking or something.” “You’d be into that?” “Mmhmm,” “We really need to talk about what else we’d be into.” “Tomorrow, when I come back, we can make a list and then check them all off.”

True to his word, when you returned to his room the next morning he greeted you with coffee he’d ordered from room service, and a discussion about which kinks turned you on and where each of your limits lay. But once you had it all sorted out it took almost no time at all for him to have you face down ass up on the bed, pounding you through two solid orgasms as he slapped your ass. And then, after a little recovery, he had you again, a leg wrapped around his waist and your hands pinned to the wall above your head. It seemed that, now you’d actually been together, it was all you wanted to do. In the moments when he wasn’t touching you, you could almost have said you missed it. Missed the warmth of his hands, the taste of his mouth on yours, the way he could make you feel with just his fingers let alone any other part of him. He strongly hinted he wanted to have you again, perched on the bathroom sink like he would have the night he came to your room had you not been interrupted, except that you had to leave. As part of your mother’s punishment for letting Joe get away you were once again on babysitting duty. The whole afternoon was to be spent keeping your eye on Erin while your parents joined a couples only hike. “Honestly, I’m starting to think this was about more than being starved for gossip. Wouldn’t be surprised if she’d convinced herself that we’d miraculously discover we were going to the same college and end up dating for real. That sort of romance novel bullshit. Probably had the wedding planned already.” “Hey, we knew we’d have to steal moments between activities and stuff. At least we can do the whole running-into-each-other-by-accident routine while your parents are away. I’ll help you watch Erin.” “That’s lovely of you, but you don’t have to.” “Y/N what else am I gonna do? Plus I like Erin. She’s a sweet kid, for the most part.” “You will have to keep your hands to yourself though. She spots anything and she’ll go blabbing straight away.” “I think I can restrain myself for a few hours,” “Really? Not been doing so great at the whole restraint thing the last couple of days.” “Fair point. Maybe you should give me an incentive to behave,” “Well if you don’t I might just have to tie you to the bed and edge you for a while,” “I said give me an incentive, not tempt me into misbehaving. You keep making suggestions like that and I’ll finger you by the pool just to make sure you follow through.”

That afternoon was a strong indication of how the rest of the vacation was going to go. You sat on the edge of the pool, watching Erin as she tried to prove she could do a handstand in the water. After you’d been there for about fifteen minutes Joe wandered over, both of you making polite small talk - nice to see you, what have you been up to since golf. Erin didn’t suspect anything, just yelled at Joe to watch her do a handstand before diving back underwater. Joe sat beside you, fingers almost but not quite touching as your feet bumped together below the surface. You chatted as vague acquaintances pushed together by repeat accidental meetings, though if anyone had bothered to listen in they would have heard Joes lewd comments about how your bikini turned him on and your downright obscene response asking if he preferred you in the bikini or naked and spread out on his bed. It was playful and flirty and led to another night of making near pornographic noises as checked off a few more of the kinks you both liked. And that was the routine you found yourselves falling into. You’d spend time with your family during the day, flirt with Joe whenever the opportunity arose, and then spend a good few hours of the night fucking each other’s brains out. On the floor and the bed and with your hands holding tight to the balcony railing. Occasionally, when you had adequate warning, Joe would end up on the same activity your family was doing, making polite small talk with your father as your mother tried to subtly convince him to make a move on you. You found it incredibly nerve wracking but, more than once you took the chance to fool around a little when you became separated from the group. Teasing touches as you both leaned against the same fence to admire a view, stolen kisses behind the bus, and once a quick handjob while you were meant to be snorkelling with everyone else.

On days when your family didn’t do much more than lounge around on the beach you’d make an excuse and disappear for a few hours, and then return hoping you didn’t look to fucked out for them to notice. You used every excuse you could think of – a spa session you’d booked the night before, interest in seeing a hula show or joining a yoga class, or just a desire to get out of the sun for a bit. You even disregarded everything Joe had told you about faking sick being a bad idea, pretending you had period cramps and a headache to get you another whole day to yourself. Joe came to your room that time, letting you pull him into the shower laughing. You’d had to slam your hand over his mouth as the room door opened and Erin yelled something about forgetting to grab the sunscreen before she hurried out again. It was a close call but also a huge turn on. You’d been right when you told Joe sneaking around would make things more fun.

Sometimes you’d catch sight of him and leave your family on the beach or by the pool under the guise of getting a new drink and instead end up with your tongue in Joe’s mouth, practically dry humping around the corner from where they sunbathed and joked around. When they asked what took you so long, you’d tell them it was so busy you’d lost their spot in the crowd. Joe never seemed to mind the sly nature of your meetings or the need to be quick and quiet. He’d spot you and wait for a moment when he could come up behind you and and whisper something about how it was a struggle to keep his hands to himself when you looked so good. Then he’d tell you to meet him in the lobby bathroom or whatever other secluded spot was nearby. When you arrived, he’d waste no time in pushing you to your knees or bending you over with your hands against a wall while he pulled your panties to the side. Whatever was easiest and fastest. The first time you’d been a little surprised, whining as he pushed you against a wall and kissed you hard. “Jesus Joe, I’m coming back to yours in like four hours, you couldn’t wait?” “Those shorts you’re wearing are so fucking hot, can’t blame me for wanting your cunt so bad.” He only got more intent on pulling you into dark corners and private areas when he saw you wearing the jewellery he bought you. You took to wearing the necklace and earrings constantly because every time Joe saw you in them it seemed to turn him on, something about it proving you were his to use, and it’d inspire another mindblowing round of sex, only made more satisfying by the days of stolen moments being as good as edging to work you both up.

It was everything you’d wanted when the idea of a holiday romance first occurred to you. Days spent relaxing, taking in the sun and the sea air and exploring a stunningly beautiful part of the world. Nights spent indulging in casual sex that wasn’t just a laugh but also made you feel incredible, with someone you enjoyed talking to and spending time with. Just what you needed to truly put your breakup and everything about that relationship behind you. It wasn’t ideal, what with having to dodge your family constantly but keeping it secret meant it was just yours and there was something very satisfying about that. All your previous relationships, no matter how brief, had been shared with others. Your mother telling everyone about your first kiss, your friends making you spill details about one-night stands and more long-term partners.  But everything that happened between you and Joe was just for the two of you. The distance stopped your friends from getting involved and you were doing everything in your power to keep it away from your family. And that felt really good. Of course, as soon as you got back to college that would change. Enough time would have passed that you wouldn’t have any problems answering your friends demands to know if you’d seduced anyone, Justin Timberlake or otherwise. You’d spill the beans about everything, of course. After all, they deserved to know how right they’d been.

[liilyjane]

❛ her mother told her she could grow up to be anything she wanted be, so she grew up to become the strongest of the strong, the strangest of the strange, the wildest of the wild, the wolf leading wolves. ❜

cis woman / she/her. ┊ if you’re looking for LILY EVANS, you’ll probably find HER in the GRYFFINDOR dorm with the rest of the SEVENTH years. they’re the TWENTY year old MUGGLEBORN who looks kind of like KENNEDY MCMANN. they seem DYNAMIC, HEADSTRONG & EMPATHETIC to me, but apparently they’re also DOMINEERING, POSSESSIVE & MORALLY ABSOLUTIST maybe that’s why they remind me of the sweet smell of rain after a storm, heart shaped cookies burning in an oven, promising forever only to be met with the end of the world, initials carved into trees that you wish would burn, smudged eyeliner, stacks and stacks of unread books.

links: stats, pinterest character parallels: jane villanueva (jane the virgin), claire randall (outlander), amy santiago (brooklyn nine-nine), erin (derry girls), donna pinciotti (that ‘70s show), shirley crain (the haunting of hill house)

the evans family, circa 1960 — practically perfect in every way. xavier evans was rising in the ranks of his job as a bank teller; petunia evans had recently learned how to walk and spent most of her time prancing around the small cokeworth estate; and annabelle evans had just given birth to the most beautiful baby girl, lily. nothing here could possibly go wrong.

and for the longest time, nothing did. little lily grew up in a household full of smiles, forming a particularly strong bond with her older sister and learning to love only in the largest of doses. for five years, the evans family were so picture perfect you might have even thought it fake, but no amount of love could ever be pretend with this small bunch - they simply knew that happiness was around every corner and chased it with all the childlike optimism the world had to offer.

it was once lily turned five that things took a turn for the worse. the little toddlers happiness and excitement could no longer be contained in such a small body and so instead decided to lash out on the house. beds floating, cats hurtling across the room, the bushes out the front blooming with red in the middle of winter. the simple and mundane had suddenly become anything but - lily jane evans was a witch.

but of course, that wouldn’t be explained for at least another three years. from the ages of five to eight, xavier and annabelle liked to believe that it was miracles that followed their beautiful baby girl. petunia, however, was not so forgiving. she feared for what her freak of a sister was capable of, but for the most part, she kept her fears to herself. her sister was still her sister, after all, and she would still try her best to love her as before.

it was in the summer of 1968 that lily first met severus snape - an odd little boy from the bad side of town, as petunia liked to call him. lily simply preferred to call him her best friend. lily and severus got on like a house on fire for the simple fact that severus seemed to be the only one who truly understood her. it was severus that first explained to lily what she truly was, and lily wholeheartedly believed him. petunia, of course, was furious for how the greasy little boy drove a wedge between her and her sister and was even more horrified to learn of what he was telling her - no one could do magic. not really. lily and severus were simple freaks.

the first time petunia called lily a freak, lily cried herself to sleep. what could possibly drive her sister, one of her closest friends, to say such a thing? she wasn’t lying. she really could do magic, and it was beautiful. and yet petunia refused to believe it, and for that, lily was devastated. all she wanted was to share her gifts with her sister and instead her gifts were exactly what drove them apart.

lily always lived to regret how she handled this gradual separation. her fervent heart turned quickly from love to anger, furious that petunia refused to share this gift with her, but of course she should’ve realised that it was still enough to love without magic getting in the way. she feels as though she shoved her magic in her sisters face and that is why petunia hates her, and if she could go back in time and pretend magic was nothing all for the sake of the sister, perhaps she would.

when a strange owl dropped a letter on the evans’ front door step explaining that magic really was real, lily couldn’t really say she was surprised. after all, sev had told her this day would come. she was over and done with the surprise and confusion and was now able to be wholly and completely ecstatic for her start at school.

what she didn’t expect, however, was to be torn away from her best friend on the first day. severus had explained the house system to her before, and she’d always wished to be in the house of the ferocious lions, she just hadn’t realised how polarising it would be to be a lion and to love a snake. for a while, she was seen once again as a freak, this time by her peers, and this time for many reasons: one, for fraternizing with the enemy, and two, for being a muggleborn.

just as when she had been called a freak the first time, lily cried when she was first called a mudblood. where had she gone wrong? severus had described hogwarts as somewhere magical, somewhere inviting, a home away from home, and yet here she was just as equally criticized, ostracized, and bullied as back at cokeworth. severus ended up being her only friend for months as she tried to find a way to fit in, and a part of her almost resented him for that.

but of course, lily jane evans is not just going to sit back and accept a terrible fate. lily jane evans is a fighter, first and foremost. lily jane evans fought tooth and nail to be accepted within hogwarts, to be loved and, most of all, to be respected. and it didn’t take long for this to come true. lily was bright and cheery and had all the boisterous enthusiasm of her housemates, and for that reason she finally found friends outside of severus.

slowly, these friends became her best. they surpassed that of her sister, that of severus, and became her main priority. severus was not forgotten, of course, though perhaps he liked to act like he was. lily tried to keep their friendship alight for the first few years, but it was far too clear in this context that lily evans and severus snape were from two different worlds - they didn’t fit. they drifted and drifted until fifth year came - and everything came crashing down.

hearing severus call her a mudblood was not just heartbreaking, it was blood boiling. lily thought that she could trust this boy, this friend who had been there for her since she was eight, but that clearly wasn’t the case. he was done with her, and she was more than done with him.

after this incident, lily became a lot less trusting of people’s intentions. there was a tension bubbling in this exciting and mystical world she was now a part of and some people were always going to be on the wrong side - and she might not even know it. and so she was cautious, she chose her friends carefully, she learned how to let go. things were only going to get tougher.

proving herself tough and intelligent and a true leader at hogwarts, lily has been awarded the title of head girl in her last year, a role she takes very seriously despite some of her misdemeanours in previous years (punching someone for calling you a mudblood shouldn’t give you detention, anyway). she pushes herself hard in her final year, some would say to the brink, but she has a purpose now - the tensions are boiling over and she is about to be thrust into the real world, where life is no longer so protected...

MISCELLANEOUS

lily has a very black and white way of looking at the world. to her, there is good and there is bad, and you choose which one you are. a good example of this is what happened with severus - for the whole time she’d known him, lily had thought severus to be a good person, no matter his house or his limited supply of friends. he might’ve been odd but he was good, but the moment he called her a mudblood, something in her switched, and severus was bad. she went from trying to talk to him every day to never talking to him again, from viewing him as her best friend even in the toughest of situations to her worst enemy. lily feels everything very strongly (love, hate, anger etc.) and this only feeds this somewhat toxic way of thinking. basically - don’t cross lily. she will write you off in a second.

the only exception to this rule is petunia dursley - push and push and push enough and lily understands that petunia is not wholly good, but she cannot bring herself to say her sister is wholly bad either. lily wasn’t invited to her sisters wedding, she hasn’t even so much as met vernon yet because petunia refuses to see her, and yet still lily would drop everything if it meant she could spend the day with her sister. it’s very complicated. yikes!

another note: lily starts to move away from this type of thinking when she gets closer to james and realises that maybe her impressions of people are wrong but... we have to wait and see that one out, don’t we!

lily loves baking. no, she is not good at it.

lily taught herself how to cast a patronus last year, but she tends to keep this information to herself. she knows she is strong and talented, but she doesn’t feel the need to show it off.

[fairyjeff]

Multi Level Murdering || Nicodemus & Jeff

Et tu, Karen? 

Content Warning: Murder

@bountybossier

It was advised that Nicodemus stay in the house. He promptly ignored that advice and said fuck it, he was going to do it live. It was better to distract himself with some finding some fucking Facebook mommy blogger than sitting and listening to the ocean lap at the walls. Even with hunter physiology, his nose still hurt like a son of a bitch, two accompanying black eyes the perfect accessory. The night did well enough to cover it as he approached Dell’s. The guy outside looked enough like a Jeff that he offered a short wave. “Howdy. Jeff, right? You got an address for Karen or somethin’?”

Jeff was leaning against his car, waiting for the bounty hunter to show up. He was really concerned about this stupid middle aged woman now. Karen. Hadn’t posted anything on her stupid mommy blogger facebook page. Hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her dumbass ex-husband either. When Nic finally rolled up, though, Jeff wondered if he shouldn’t just contact the police. “What the fuck happened to your face?” He asked, bluntly. “You alright? Must have been some fuckin’ fight,” Jeff pushed off his car. “Yeah, I got an address. Should help. I think it’s her sister’s place though.”

Immediately and to the detriment on his face, Nicodemus frowned. “Some fuckin’ asshole suckerpunched me on the beach yesterday. I was tryin’ to take a nap or some shit.” Was it yesterday? What fucking does what it right then? The doctor and Erin had been there. When was that? Oh well. It didn’t matter. He straightened up and pocketed his rough hands. “Anyhow, that’s a better address than no address.” His eyes narrowed down the street, into the pitch darkness. Fuck, he should probably say something. “Drivin’ or walkin’ distance?”

“What the fuck? I hope you fucking punched him out.” Jeff scoffed. God, and people said that Boston was rude? White Crest, Maine had no competition. He shook his head. “It’s by the beach, some nice ass waterfront house. But even if it weren’t I’d say we should drive anyway, this darkness shit is fucking weird, man. And dangerous.” Jeff would swear he kept seeing shit the night. But he pushed off his car, unlocking it. “Get in, I’ll drive us. Do we have a plan for when we get there? I don’t really know how this is supposed to fuckin’ work.”

“Nah, he fuckin’ ran before I could,” Nicodemus muttered, eyes downcast as he lamented the potential of a sandy brawl. The promise of a beachfront house made him both wary and excited. Why, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was that urge to be near the water again. A weird urge to just sit and stare. He shook his head loose of that anchoring and grunted. “Yeah, fair point. Shit’s been fucky out here.” He rounded to the passenger and sat, reminding himself that seatbelts existed. “Knock on the door, ask a couple questions. We’re just concerned citizens anyway and hell, you know her. That’s gotta stand for somethin’. Ain’t gonna do nothin’ crazy.”

“Fucking dickbag,” Jeff said, disgusted as he turned the car on and pulled out of his parking space. “Somethings fucking weird with this town, man.” And that was saying something becasue Jeff was pretty sure that he was one of the fucking weird things in this town. But ever since he got here it was raining fish, cursed ass coins, mimes running rampant, and now an endless night had fallen over White Crest. “I am a concerned citizen. I mean, she used to come every fuckin’ friday. Shit ain’t normal,” Jeff shook his head and pulled off onto the road that would lead downwards to the beach houses. “Fuck me, I can’t see shit. She said something about blue shutters - look for 609. On the mailboxes or somethin’.”

“Fucking dickbag is right,” Nicodemus agreed. As Jeff talked, the hunter looked at him. Between his head and his broken ass senses, everything felt off. He felt off. Like he was watching himself from a different window. But he tapped a finger against his thigh and brought himself back, wound the cord of sensibility around his fist and tugged himself down as Jeff drove. “Nah, yeah, I gotcha. Nothin’ here is fuckin’ right.” Once they stopped, he stepped out of the car and reached for a heavy flashlight inside his jacket. Clicking it on, he swept it over the house numbers. 615. 613. 611. 609. There it was. Nic called over to Jeff and waved him over. “Got it.” The house was quiet. The hunter tilted his head. All he could hear was the ocean behind it. That compelled him to move up the front steps. “I’m gonna just...fuckin’ knock, alright?” He did as he said and the door opened as he did. He shot Jeff a confused look before he shined the light into the open house. A smear of something dark led away from the door and towards the back. The blood smelled like...blood. The smell of saltwater was too strong to determine anything else. “Yeah...think you were right to be worried there.”

Jeff pulled up into Karen’s driveway, and hopped out, closing the door to his car as he followed Nic up the walkway, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets to protect from the cold. His eyes narrowed as he looked back at Nic with a shrug. “What the fuck -” Jeff said, aloud, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and switching on the flash light. Jeff automatically slipped past Nic, pushing through the entry way to look around. He wished being a fucking fairy meant he had something useful - like night vision, or laser eyes, or wings taht actually fucking worked. “Hey! Karen,” he barked, shining light around. There was a dark puddle of something on the ground near the overturned couch. “Nic?” He called over his shoulder. “I think we might have to callthe fucking - what the hell!” Before he could finish his sentence, something small and round bounced towards him. Smoke surrounded him and he swatted at it, wildly feeling the the wall for - ah! A switch! “Nic, what the hell -” Jeff went to look at Nic, before he realized that he was standing there, like an idiot, with blue and black fucking butterfly wings on his back. What? He hadn’t lifted the glamor. “Uh - look, I can fucking explain -” Except he didn’t get a chance too, becasue some small woman lunged at him. Karen?! Jeff dodged out of the way, the iron knife grazing his forearm. “Ow! Karen! What the hell! No! Stop!” Except Karen lunged again, an angry yell coming from her. Warden. Had this all been a trap. Jeff wasn’t sticking around to find out, and immediately turned on his heel and started running out the back doors to the beach by the water. Maybe he could lose her in the darkness. “WHAT THE FUCK KAREN?!”

Nicodemus knelt down and poked at the blood as Jeff’s flashlight kicked on. He kept his flashlight on hand as he looked and traced the blood toward the kitchen. When the other man spoke to him, he picked his head up and squinted. As soon as the smoke hit, he knew what this was. Dispellate. They were in the house of a warden. The sight of blue wings filled his dark vision as he shone his light on Jeff. “Yeah, you’re fae, I don’t give a sh--” Footsteps. Light. Wardens were always lighter on their feet than slayers and hunters. Their prey was harder to catch. The woman lunged at Jeff and Nic followed the iron knife as it cut through the air, damn near cut through Jeff. Nicodemus was up on hit feet and moving, following Jeff as Karen tore off after him. “Karen, what the fuck? I get you’re a goddamn warden but he makes your fuckin’ margaritas! The fuck is wrong with you?” He stepped out and stared into the sea, a dark expanse in the distance. It looked peaceful. It looked like a grave. Blood and iron. Salt and sea. The hunter blinked and slowed his pace to a methodical step, shoulders dropped and jaw tight. The very way he got when a bounty was getting near. In the dark, Nic saw her clearly. Saw the blood on Jeff’s arm clearer. The sea pulled in closer. By a misstep, Karen was closer to the water and the hunter crashed into her like a freight train. “Gn'th teeth ymg' ephailllln'gha bloody, Karen.” He grabbed Karen by the hair and pulled her into the water, snapped her away harshly from Jeff and his bright wings.

“What! The! Ever! Living! Fucking! Fuck! Is! Fucking! Going! On!” Jeff bellowed. He was pretty fucking fast, thankfully, but Karen seemed to be a lot faster than he originally thought when he was stuffing her in ubers after too many margaritias. “No, no, not the wings! Literally anything but the fucking wings!” Oh, she’d start with those first, and rip them off, he heard her yell. Honestly, Jeff had never really felt this sort of betrayal. What the fuck? The semi-frozen sand had slowed him a little, but he was lucky Nic was there because he pulled Karen away the second before she managed to actually stab him. God his fucking arm hurt. That knife had to be made of iron. The cut was inflamed and a little swollen  and he was sure it was going to fucking need stitches He would be eating his words to that doctor on the internet now. Cussing, he looked over as Nic dragged her into the water. “Nic?” He said. He wasn’t stopping. “Hey! Nic! Nic! What the fuck are you doing?!”

Jeff’s loud and vulgar confusion didn’t compel Nicodemus away from Karen. He could feel her hair tug and she swung the knife around on him. The blade went only an inch into his shoulder before he headbutted her back, his already fucked nose splitting open again. He ignored it. She was quicker but he hit harder. “She tried to kill you, Jeff. She’s a goddamn warden. She doesn’t give a shit about your martinis,” he said, eerily calm. Entirely unaware that he didn’t quite seem like just a bounty hunter. “H' epgoka l' fuckin' gn'thor.” He wasn’t even sure he had said anything to Jeff. Maybe he had just thought it. The only motion he felt was the moon-pulled beat of water against his flexed arms and Karen’s thrashing. The blood on his face and the blood falling into the water didn’t phase him. Karen’s thrashing slowed as he pushed her head further into the sand, tightened his fist around her throat until his fingers almost touched. She slowed. Stopped. Nicodemus blinked. Looked from the sea to Jeff. “Jeff, what the fuck?” He stumbled out of the water and spat out seawater. “That was Karen, right? Baby blogger, gross fuckin’ margarita Karen? Karen Dickwell?” She wasn’t moving. “Ah, shit.”

Jeff stayed on the shore, panting heavily as he watched the scene before him unfold, frozen in place. His wings twitched in a sudden anxiety and anticipation. PArt of him, as Karen’s head was shoved under the water, thought she fucking deserved it. She tried to fucking kill him! After he gave a shit about her. What the fuck - and she would kill others like him and Deirdre as well. Like his father. He didn’t feel badly about that. But as Nic’s eerily calm voice crept back to him, as Nic asked him what the fuck was going on, he stumbled forward, boots getting wet in the sand to look at the body. “What the fuck was that?” Jeff asked, confused and slightly disgusted. In a moment, his wings disappeared as he replaced the glamour over them. Didn’t do his silver fucking tongue though. “Yeah that was fucking Karen fucking Dickwell - you just - you just killed her.” That couldn’t be allowed, that was murder. Oh shit, he had jus witnessed a murder. Well, a murder that saved his life. Jeff ran a hand through his hair, looking up at him. “What the fuck do we do now?”

It was like parts of Nicodemus started to shut down. Any tender bit of him, no matter how small, pulled away until all that was left was the efficient, rationalizing pieces. That was normal. He did that all the time in order to function day by day. But looking at Karen's body wading in the sea and Jeff's voice in his head, it didn't feel normal. He chalked up sleepwalking and delirium to just that. On his feet, he stepped back and cleared his sore throat. Looked at Jeff again. That poor fucking guy. Damn near got his fucking wings shredded, a regular tried to kill him after how many months of service, and then he had just saw likely his first fucking murder with said regular. "She wouldn't have stopped. Others like her," he rumbled out. As if that was a great answer to what the fuck had just happened. Fuck, had he just killed someone? The part of him that started to panic, he shut it down and locked it tight. Not the time. "Must've...Must've had you pegged for weeks. Planned it. Fuck, Jeff." It was easier to talk with his back to the ocean, so he turned. "How they work an' all." He looked at Jeff's cut arm and scowled.  "You good?" Shit. Jeff was a decent guy. Fae. Fuck. He immediately felt sorry. What the fuck was happening? He looked at the body. How it seemed to sink further. "Maybe we didn't find her. It was too dark and we didn't risk it. She had an accident 'cuz it's so fuckin' dark. I don't fuckin' know."

Jeff nodded. “I know of wardens,” he said. “Killed my fuckin’ father.” His shitty ass, good for nothing father. He wasn’t exactly sure what the hell he was supposed to be fucking feeling right now. Right now he sort of felt the numbing shock of it, watching Karen die like that, and some fucking part of him felt bad. Why should he feel bad? The world was fucking terrible anyway, and she had tried to fucking kill him. The stinging in his arm grit his teeth. “I wouldn’t be fucking surprised,” Jeff said bitterly. He glanced at Nic, looking him up and down. “You know about this shit. That I’m a fucking fairy and what she fucking was?” He digested that information for a moment, before nodding. “I’m going to have to give myself stitches, that fucking knife was made of iron,” he said, looking at his arm, poking at it. He reached out and clapped Nic on the shoulder. “You really had my fucking back, Nic. Thanks for that. You drink for free any time I’m working. I promise,” Jeff said.

[punkscowardschampions]

Amelia & Jac

Amelia: you're okay now, right? Amelia: me too Jac: Are you? Amelia: I don't know Amelia: maybe Jac: How's the party? Amelia: it needs you Jac: Looks like you found enough people to party with though Amelia: I don't do dark corners by myself, you know Jac: yeah Amelia: I can't anyway, what Is said came true Amelia: all the lads are 😍 Jac: you didn't wear your theatre dress Amelia: no Amelia: it's going back, I kept the tags on Jac: smart Jac: what did you think, of the performance Amelia: it wasn't that bad Jac: and your mum Amelia: she's never that bad Jac: I know Jac: I meant did she like it Amelia: 😂 oh Amelia: yeah Jac: who brought all the booze? Jac: must be loads, can't just be Erin Amelia: her boyfriend I think Amelia: or maybe her brother Amelia: I don't remember Jac: they don't look that different tbh Jac: even if you weren't in a state Amelia: I've just got my 🤞 they are related after how hard he was 🤤 at me Jac: what about Is and Josh? Amelia: 😣 they're all over each other Jac: Hm Jac: dunno what way is better Jac: the play-by-play we'll get, or the lament if she hadn't Amelia: 💔 over 🥰 Amelia: I have every possible boys suck line ready in my back pocket Jac: shouldn't we be happy for each other Amelia: for what? Jac: for her getting what she wanted Jac: if nothing else, it's that Amelia: he only wants her because she dressed and acted different so no Jac: maybe she wants to be different too Amelia: you would say that Jac: why would I Amelia: because you want to be Savannah Moore Amelia: it doesn't get any differerent-er Jac: One, no I don't Jac: and two, we've got lots in common so it wouldn't be that big of a change beyond the obvious Amelia: yeah you do and yeah it would Jac: just because I like her doesn't mean I'm trying to be her Jac: why do you think that Amelia: you talk like her now Amelia: act like her Amelia: dress like her Jac: no I don't Jac: this is how I've always been Jac: and I don't have nearly enough money to dress like her Amelia: I don't need to tell you that designer dupes exist Amelia: your search history already has Jac: 🙄 so I wanna wear nice clothes Jac: that's not new Amelia: but your definition of nice has Jac: so you're saying I looked like crap then or now? Amelia: I'd never say that Jac: I can change my taste Jac: you don't have to as well, I'm not making you, so why are you being so Jac: weird about it Amelia: I don't want to fight about it anymore Amelia: come to the party, you can wear what you want Jac: I can't come to the party now Jac: it'll be practically over Amelia: then we'll do something else Amelia: you can't send me 🏠 with Is Jac: you asked to sleep over Amelia: yeah but I can't fucking bear it Amelia: any of this Jac: that's why I didn't want to go Amelia: and I shouldn't be here Jac: do you really want to leave Amelia: I didn't want to go Jac: I don't even think I've talked to Erin before Amelia: you haven't Jac: why does everyone have to go to everything now Jac: the more people you know the better Amelia: that's not very Savannah-ish of you Jac: She doesn't actually have many friends either Jac: any Jac: real ones Amelia: she does now Amelia: you're her best friend Jac: she wants to be your friend too Amelia: 😂 Jac: she does Amelia: didn't you read how she talks to me? she thinks I'm more tragic than Is Amelia: that there's something wrong with me Jac: I read how you talk to her too Jac: you weren't treating her like she was any more intelligent than Is either Amelia: you just want it to be my fault Jac: no I don't Jac: I want us to all get along Amelia: you pretty much threw me out the chat earlier Jac: for your sake Jac: I knew you were angry and you were going to say something you'd regret Amelia: if we're all such great friends I should be able to say whatever I like Jac: you can Jac: but you shouldn't say things you can't take back Jac: just for the effect of the thing Jac: if you want to still say it in the morning Jac: I won't stop you Amelia: I can't take it back anyway Amelia: whether I say it or not Jac: if no one knows Jac: then you don't have to deal with it Amelia: I still have to deal Jac: but not with everyone else's opinion Jac: it's better Amelia: I don't care what anyone thinks, you never used to either Jac: that's not true Jac: for me Amelia: okay Jac: you know that Jac: and you must care too Jac: or we wouldn't be here Amelia: you know why we're here Amelia: and if you don't also know that tonight I don't care about literally anything then you must've blocked me on socials Jac: I haven't Jac: I bet it tastes as gross as it smells Amelia: after the first few it doesn't matter Jac: more like you've numbed your entire being with whatever drink so you can't taste or feel anything Amelia: if I didn't feel anything, I wouldn't have asked if you were okay now Jac: I meant more physically Jac: you're so dramatic sometimes, you know Amelia: you're so cruel sometimes Jac: yeah Jac: probably Jac: but that was a joke Amelia: 😂 Amelia: like this party Jac: they're always crap Amelia: no they're not Amelia: I have loads of fond memories Jac: you aren't always this wasted Amelia: I've never been this wasted Amelia: you're correct, but you're wrong about the physical numbing thing, if another lad tries to touch me I will be very dramatic Jac: Meels Jac: tell me you feel uncomfortable, unsafe Jac: then I can get one my parents to come get you Jac: because it's your mum's birthday, so your parents can't Amelia: what about Savannah? Jac: Sienna was here too Jac: so they couldn't stay over Jac: I only have a single bed, remember Jac: two is okay, three is just silly Amelia: your parents will be annoyed, mine too Jac: yours will just be worried Jac: better than being somewhere you don't want to be Amelia: I can't do that, ruin how good her birthday was Jac: then don't tell them Jac: not as if my parents will, unless you're sobbing or something Amelia: boys don't make me cry Jac: it's Connell Jac: Ty's friend Jac: and I don't like him that much, alright Amelia: but why do you like him? Amelia: why now? Jac: why does anyone like anyone Amelia: because they're clever and fun and even if they tell awful jokes they're still funny to you and you just want to look at them constantly, sometimes when they're asleep and you feel weird about it but you do it anyway Amelia: and touching them doesn't make you feel 🤮 but not touching them does Jac: that's different Jac: that's Jac: more Amelia: you don't want to settle for less Amelia: Savannah wants you to Amelia: I don't know why her boyfriend's friends can't find their own girlfriends Jac: It's not like I'm being pimped out Amelia: she even wants me to date one of them and she hates me Amelia: bit weird Jac: she thinks its a nice thing to offer Jac: she doesn't hate you Amelia: okay, I hate her Amelia: same difference Jac: that's literally the opposite Jac: why do you hate her Amelia: because crap parties like this are the only time I get to see you now, when she remembers she has a boyfriend Amelia: or needs to remind her followers Amelia: same difference Jac: you see me at school when you're not in detention Amelia: no I don't, she's in every class with you Amelia: I see you both Jac: Neither of us can help that though Jac: it's not as if it was planned Amelia: you don't want to help it though Amelia: you don't even miss me Jac: stop it Jac: we still see each other Amelia: it's not the same and you don't want it to be any more Jac: it's just transition year Jac: it literally isn't the same, everything is weird Amelia: I can't do this Jac: we aren't doing anything Jac: nothing has to change Amelia: it already has and all you're doing about it is fobbing me off like I'm Isabelle Jac: What do you want me to do, that's me actually asking Amelia: Erin's brother/boyfriend is back in my face, I have to go Jac: go to the most crowded area of the party and wait Jac: alright, I'll wake them up Jac: don't go outside or anywhere alone, even though that's what you want to do, it's just not a good idea Amelia: I can handle it Amelia: am handling it Jac: Okay, good Jac: but you're still getting picked up Amelia: no, I can't, I told you Jac: why not, your parents think you're going to Isabelle's anyway, they won't know any different Amelia: oh yeah, I forgot about Is Amelia: I'll just wait for her Jac: When did you last see her? Amelia: I don't know Amelia: I've been trying not to see them all night Jac: I'm gonna message her Jac: call her if I have to Amelia: I'm not going with you Amelia: like everything's normal when nothing is Amelia: you're only worried what I'll let slip to her Amelia: but you don't have to be, she's drunk too Jac: That's not true Jac: I'm worried about you Jac: you don't have to go with me, but she's had enough fun and you need to go Amelia: Tom's SO tall, remember, I'll find her Jac: will you tell me the truth Jac: whether you do or don't Amelia: why wouldn't I? Jac: so I don't call Is if you don't want to go looking for her Jac: I'm going to check, you know Amelia: stop making me want to forgive you Amelia: you're the cutest when you're like this, you know Jac: I'm not doing it to be cute, or for forgiveness Jac: you're still my friend Amelia: it's like vertigo, I'm used to that Amelia: I haven't had it for ages though Jac: Sit on the stairs and you're bound to catch her coming up or down Amelia: Tom won't see me from all the way up there Amelia: maybe he'll trip over me and fall to his death Jac: You aren't angry at Tom Jac: just people with penises Amelia: I'm not angry Jac: What are you? Amelia: 💔 Jac: Yeah Jac: me too Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: you don't need to say that Amelia: maybe not Amelia: but if you need to hear it, I want to Jac: I'm sorry Jac: does it feel any better? Amelia: yeah, a little bit Jac: you must be easier to please than me Amelia: 😏 Jac: shut up, you're as bad as Is Jac: I dread to think though Amelia: that boy is disgusting and she's going to be talking about nothing else until the next Jac: he has bad dandruff Jac: she hasn't noticed because his height disorientates her but I sat behind him in Irish Jac: it was very distracting Jac: and I couldn't see the board Amelia: 😣 Dia ár sábháil Amelia: I must be drunk if I can remember that Amelia: where's sir when you want him Jac: yeah, I hear that's what the garda do when they pull you over Jac: very impressive Amelia: good idea, they'll give me a lift home Jac: Ha, no Amelia: I'm walking that way because I just remembered I'd have to share a bed with Is Amelia: after that revelation about Tom's hygiene Jac: Can you please stop Amelia: no, then I'd just be standing in the road Jac: Why can't you just do what you're told and wait Amelia: 😂 hello, it's me, Amelia Jac: I mean it though Jac: you're scaring me Jac: what if Erin's brother or boyfriend followed you Jac: or you fall over into the river or a ditch Amelia: I made it clear that I wasn't interested, he's too 😳 to follow me Amelia: and I'm going home, not sightseeing Jac: I don't want you to get hurt Amelia: so don't hurt me Jac: don't do reckless shit because you're 💔 Amelia: I won't if you don't Jac: when do I ever do anything reckless? Amelia: when do you ever like boys from the basketball team? Jac: that's not reckless Jac: boys are easy Amelia: you could still get hurt Jac: Boys don't make me cry either Amelia: you make yourself cry Amelia: SUCH a virgo Jac: shut up, scorpio is a water sign Jac: you only get your sting out if provoked Amelia: yeah, I know, I'm really in touch with myself and who I am, thanks Amelia: too self aware if anything Jac: see, touchy Jac: not coming for your astrology knowledge Amelia: it's not in depth anyway Amelia: I'm sure Savannah knows way more about it Jac: She's a taurus, if you wanna say something about that Amelia: I already knew that Jac: oh, it's probably in her bio Amelia: probably Jac: unless you've made her birth chart Amelia: I don't take after my mum hard enough to know the exact time Savannah Moore was born Jac: 👩🏻👧🏻 Amelia: I do want my mum though Amelia: she'd know what to do Jac: Get a taxi Jac: go home Jac: she's not going to be mad Amelia: yeah she will Jac: only a little Jac: she'd be madder to know you're literally walking the streets right now Amelia: from Erin's not Land's end Amelia: you're more dramatic than me Jac: how would you walk from Land's end Jac: you're terrible at Geography Amelia: is now the time for a lesson? 🤓 Jac: it would be if you listened to a word I said Jac: 😎 Amelia: I would've if you'd said this hours ago Amelia: shots ago Jac: how was I to know you weren't having the best time ever Amelia: how would I have the best time ever without you? Jac: Who was that girl you were smoking with? Jac: was too blurry for me to tell Amelia: 🤔 Jac: You can tell me Amelia: I don't think she told me her name Amelia: it was very mysterious Jac: right Amelia: very 😎 you could say Jac: you could Jac: but if it was a lad that tried it you'd call it a line Amelia: if it was a lad I'd have knocked them off the top step Jac: exactly Amelia: but it wasn't a lad or a line Jac: yeah Amelia: and it won't be happening again anyway Jac: the smoking or the mystery girl? Amelia: either/both Jac: don't make promises you can't keep Amelia: it's an easy one to keep Jac: there's gonna be more parties Jac: more fond memories to make Amelia: 🚭🚷 Jac: you don't write captions Jac: didn't technically break your rule Amelia: I said I would for you Jac: I know you did Jac: but it's about more than me Amelia: yeah Jac: you know it's okay, don't you Amelia: it doesn't feel okay so no Jac: does the alternative feel any better Amelia: you're trying to confuse me now Jac: no I'm not Jac: do you wanna go out with one of Ty's mates Amelia: of course I fucking don't Jac: then there you go Jac: the alternative has to be okay Amelia: no it doesn't Amelia: because it's not an alternative Amelia: like red wine or white Jac: okay, then you don't have any choice in it Jac: more reason it has to be okay Jac: and that isn't a competition, by the way Amelia: you love a competition Jac: Red Jac: a good rose Jac: white, never ever, unless you really have to Amelia: all wine is disgusting, stop lying to yourself Jac: you didn't care about disgusting when you were necking shots Jac: or smoking Amelia: I'm not pretending I liked it Jac: I'm not either Jac: I've acquired the taste Amelia: this isn't when you're the cutest Jac: 🙄 Jac: you can't just eat sweets and crisps, forever Jac: someone has to force you to enjoy broccoli Jac: it's the same thing Amelia: she's not that kind of mum Amelia: so actually, I can do what I want Jac: you'll get fat and spotty Jac: and get type-2 diabetes Amelia: Savannah will be thrilled Amelia: Erin's brother/boyfriend will get over it Jac: what about you Jac: how will you feel Amelia: 💔 probably but I do already Jac: you'll feel sick, more likely Jac: everything is a habit, you just have to form the right ones Amelia: I feel sick already too Amelia: the vertigo-ish thing Jac: I did tell you to sit down Jac: are you wearing heels? Amelia: boots though Amelia: it's a fat heel Jac: you need to be as close to the ground as you can Jac: don't crawl though Jac: you will get picked up then Amelia: the very drunk 🐛 Jac: in that dress it's practically an invitation Jac: for a passing stray, or creepy dude Jac: just watch out for glass, and dog shit Amelia: you don't like my dress!? Jac: I like it Jac: I'm saying your arse would fully be out if you even bent over a bit Amelia: I'm not bending anywhere Amelia: 🤢🤮 Jac: just focus please Amelia: 👀 🔎🔭🔬 Jac: how far are you from yours? Amelia: you're trying to throw me out of this chat too, are you? Jac: I'm trying to see how much longer I need to worry about you, idiot Amelia: no longer, because I'm alright Jac: no you aren't Jac: you feel sick and heartbroken Jac: and you're walking home alone, trashed Amelia: you weren't worried earlier Jac: when? Amelia: when you told me to shut up and meet my mum Jac: I already told you why Jac: you were gonna say something Jac: and you did need to go to the ballet, that's nothing for me to be concerned about Amelia: I was 💔 then, you can't just care when you want Jac: I do care Jac: and did Jac: I can't fix it Amelia: I know x3 Jac: stop saying I don't care Amelia: okay Jac: and tell me where you are Amelia: that's geography Jac: if you're in Land's end, you've really fucked this up Amelia: 😂 Amelia: I'm over halfway but to my 🏠 Jac: Good Jac: you've eat into my beauty sleep enough Jac: keep up the pace Amelia: for you it's just called 😴 Jac: now was that 🤓 or 😎 Amelia: it was 🥰 Jac: I won't push you off the stairs in your current state Jac: not a fair fight Amelia: I fell up the curb before Amelia: maybe you're right about the numbing Jac: have you hurt yourself Jac: you need to clean it when you get in, properly Jac: you don't need stitches, do you Amelia: I haven't bled to death so no Jac: Okay, good Jac: you live nowhere near a hospital and they're the worst at this time Amelia: my parents would rage if they had to take me to A&E Jac: that's why you should take the first aid course with me Jac: and for your uni app Amelia: is Savannah taking it with us? Jac: You're suggesting I tell her she can't Amelia: I'm saying I can't if she is Amelia: I will throw that dummy at her before I ever 💋 it in front of her Jac: You said you wanted to spend time with me Jac: she's part of the deal Amelia: but I don't want my first 💋 experience to be a first aid plastic person Jac: Her name's Annie Amelia: okay, it's a date now, yeah? Amelia: all I need's a name and I'm 😍🥰😘 Jac: you didn't get one earlier Amelia: I didn't kiss her earlier Jac: they're more rubbery too Jac: not like a sex-doll but you know Jac: give her some respect Amelia: you're so annoying Jac: rude Jac: and hypocritical, you woke me up for this Amelia: did I? Jac: It doesn't matter now, won't be able to sleep 'til you're home Amelia: why isn't your phone on silent? Jac: It is but I still hear it vibrate Jac: it could be important Jac: case in point Amelia: or you were hoping it was someone else Jac: Connell probably got with someone else at the party Jac: life goes on Amelia: which one is he? Jac: the only one that looks like he might have a few brain cells on the team Amelia: 📙👆🏀 Amelia: can he do that twirly thing? Jac: with a book balanced on his head Jac: if he can I'll go out with him Amelia: 😕 Jac: don't make that face at me Amelia: 🙁 Jac: wrong direction Amelia: you can't practice on me for how to tell boys what to do with their face Jac: boys are always 😍🥰😘 Jac: they do the hard work for you Amelia: they are hard work Jac: to like Jac: just pretend Amelia: why? Jac: it makes life easier Jac: actually, you don't even have to like them Jac: when Is isn't talking about how tall they are, she's talking about how crap they are, like you said Jac: no one will notice the difference Amelia: it didn't make my life easier tonight that they didn't notice I wasn't doing anything for their benefit Amelia: literally the opposite Jac: you can't opt out of being a girl Jac: unless you literally do, and I don't think that's a walk in the park so Amelia: I don't want to, but I'm not a girl for them Jac: I know that Jac: they're oblivious Amelia: I know that Jac: you can use it or be annoyed by it Jac: that's all Amelia: you're tired, you're being cynical Jac: hi, I'm Jac Jac: I'm always cynical, and I'm right Amelia: no you're not, and I don't want to use lads for anything, thanks Jac: then don't Jac: say you did, imply it Amelia: why? Jac: so Sav stops trying to set you up with a basketball boy and Is stops telling you how amazing/terrible it all is depending on her mood Amelia: I'll tell Sav to stop and Is never will whatever else happens Jac: what do you want Amelia: 🏠🛏💤 Jac: keep walking Jac: you can be asleep before me I bet Amelia: I don't want that though Jac: you just said you did, silly Amelia: not you lying awake because of me Jac: There's lots on my mind Jac: virgo, right Amelia: if you want to talk about it, I'm drunker than I've ever been Amelia: probably a good time Jac: I don't think I do Amelia: sounds virgo-ish Jac: you don't like talking either Jac: it works Amelia: not to anyone else Amelia: but this is you Jac: do you want to say it Jac: or do you wanna wait 'til you aren't drunk or sad or anything else but sure Amelia: I don't know Jac: then I'd wait Amelia: I just want you to come back Amelia: how long do I have to wait for that? Jac: I don't know Jac: what you mean Amelia: you do Jac: I think this is who I am now Jac: who I need to be Amelia: which one? Who you are or who you need to be? Jac: that's the same person Amelia: not necessarily Jac: it should be Amelia: should Amelia: I shouldn't hate Savannah, but I do, I should be a better friend to Is but I'm not Amelia: I shouldn't scare you or wake you up in the middle of the night Amelia: but that's happened Jac: You needed help Jac: that's okay Jac: I don't know about the rest Amelia: No, I just needed to talk to you Amelia: and I don't think that's okay now Jac: why not? Amelia: I can't remember but there were loads of reasons Jac: if that's what you want Amelia: it's not Jac: then don't stop talking to me Amelia: I'll scroll up to where you said you don't want to talk Amelia: it wasn't ages ago Jac: just about what's going on in my head Jac: anything else is fine Amelia: okay Jac: you don't have to think of something right now Jac: you aren't being timed Amelia: you can get my uni app off your mind, that's years away Jac: three years Jac: school years, at that Amelia: I might take a gap year, that's even longer Jac: really Jac: where are you going to go? Amelia: it's years away Amelia: I haven't planned it yet Jac: well then you can't say you're having one yet either Amelia: I didn't, I said I might Amelia: like I might not go to uni at all too Jac: you might die in a ditch Jac: you can still plan for not Amelia: not if I die in a ditch in three years Amelia: or four Jac: don't you care Jac: what you're going to do Amelia: I care about this year and about now Jac: I need to check your rising sign Amelia: maybe it'll put you to sleep Jac: now who's trying to get rid of who Amelia: I care about that Amelia: you being okay Jac: You can't fix it either Amelia: not without knowing what's wrong Jac: exactly Amelia: I can use 🥺 too, Sav doesn't own it Jac: is that gonna help us work it all out? Jac: fell free to go ahead, like Amelia: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Amelia: talk to me Jac: I literally am Amelia: about what's going on in your head Jac: I don't know Jac: or get it either Amelia: I didn't say you have to make sense of it Jac: I can't, Meels Amelia: I've never had to beg you before and I don't know how to Jac: don't Amelia: not being able to fix this is scarier than being out here Jac: I know Jac: if it could be different Amelia: or the same as it used to be Jac: or the same as it used to be Jac: it can't though Amelia: I'm home Jac: Picture please Amelia: [imagine that blurry picture please, the state of this gal rn] Jac: it's like an impressionistic painting of your house Jac: but I'll take it as evidence Amelia: and I'll use it as art homework Jac: remember the portrait you did of me Amelia: I still have it Amelia: wait, I'm gonna find it Jac: I bet you've already woken your parents up Jac: any more noise and they definitely won't leave it 'til morning Amelia: if they were asleep but don't think about that Amelia: where would it be? 🤔 Jac: I keep telling you you need proper portfolios for your work Amelia: maybe Savannah will buy them for me Amelia: she's like SO generous Jac: it's not a money thing, you're just messy Jac: so sh Amelia: and I don't have a job Amelia: you shh, I'm searching Jac: your parents would get them for you Amelia: god, I was crap at painting a year ago Amelia: your portrait is going to look nothing like you, I'll probably find it and not realise Jac: well I still liked it Jac: and your teacher did Jac: though maybe she was just thrilled you handed anything in Amelia: 😂 yeah Amelia: OH MY GOD! here it is Jac: show me then! Amelia: 😳 Jac: come on Jac: or I'll 🥺 Amelia: [does show her and of course it's super gay and feelsy because we were on our bullshit even back then gals] Jac: [it's a shame the fan art would be of her as Lexa like always] Jac: see, I remembered it being good Jac: you should believe in yourself more Amelia: I believe I could do better now Amelia: if everything would stop violently tilting Jac: you need to close your eyes, or at least be in a dark room right now Jac: not trying to make art Amelia: if my parents really loved me they'd have installed a light switch that I don't have to get up for Jac: did I mention lazy as well as messy Jac: and you need to get some water Amelia: 😵 Jac: you know I'm not sympathetic Amelia: but you don't want me to puke just because you're mad at me Jac: I'm not mad at you Amelia: my mum will be if I ruin this rug Jac: you shouldn't have got so pissed Amelia: how else am I meant to deal with my emotions? in a healthy way? No Jac: I can't lecture you Jac: not now anyway, maybe later Amelia: you are though, a little bit Jac: if you reckon that then your parents really aren't strict enough Amelia: they're really not, miracle baby privileges are lifelong in this 🏠 Jac: you're gonna turn out so ill-adjusted Jac: good thing they won't care though Amelia: I probably already am Jac: probably Amelia: but at least I don't need stitches Jac: 🌤 Amelia: remember when I did Amelia: terrifying Jac: safe to say it dashed any dreams of wanting to be a surgeon Amelia: I thought the scar was going to be so ugly but you wouldn't let me get another fringe Jac: the only other person with a forehead scar is harry potter and it's a favourable comparison Jac: there's lots of bitches with fringes Amelia: my parents definitely don't love me enough if it's not a ⚡️ Jac: that sounds like they were practising ritual scarification Amelia: but you do, you said I could never be ugly Jac: because you couldn't Amelia: did I cry? I feel like I should be crying now Jac: a bit Jac: but I didn't tell and your mum just thought you were in loads of pain so you got ice cream Amelia: it bled more than it hurt Jac: headwounds do Jac: and you've got a massive head Amelia: tomorrow I will Amelia: it'll feel HUGE Jac: be thankful Is can only message you Jac: not talk you into another headache Amelia: she has been Jac: yeah? Amelia: I don't know what to say Jac: is she going into too much detail Amelia: always Jac: just tell her she's making you 🤮 Amelia: is this who I am now? Jac: a person with normal boundaries? Amelia: someone on the other fucking side Jac: of what Jac: what are you on about Amelia: everything Amelia: left out of it Jac: you don't want to be like Is Amelia: she's not 💔 Jac: that's just who she is Jac: she's not got anything in her life that makes her Amelia: neither have I Jac: you clearly do Jac: or a lack of something, either way Amelia: or I'm dramatic, like you said Jac: is that how it feels? Amelia: yeah Jac: okay, you're just dramatic then Jac: go get some sleep Amelia: or everyone's gaslighting me Jac: sounds a bit like a conspiracy theory Amelia: lack of trust is very scorpio-ish of me Jac: true Jac: you're just being true to type Amelia: I'm going slowly insane, true to my artistic type Jac: you can have your 💙 period Amelia: shame I didn't go blue outside Jac: or not Jac: I'm glad you're back Amelia: so you can go and get some sleep Jac: why do you want to make me out as so selfish Amelia: because that would make sense Amelia: and it wouldn't be my fault Jac: nothing is your fault Jac: regret is just a requirement of a hangover, with the shame Amelia: we can't go back because you want Savannah as a friend more than me Amelia: if that's not my fault or you being selfish and shallow I don't know how to make sense of it Jac: it isn't that simple Jac: but if you need it to be one of those two Jac: go with the latter Amelia: in 3rd class after Ms Brennan paired me with Georgia for the school trip and she got it into her head we were going to be best friends, you were upset and I told her to leave me alone Amelia: I didn't say to you that if you wanted to hang out with me then she was part of the deal Jac: Georgia was lame Amelia: and you think Savannah is the coolest, I know Jac: we aren't in third class Amelia: exactly, we've been friends longer than that now and you won't do that for me Jac: you can't expect me to do that Jac: we should have more friends Jac: go see if Georgia still wants to be your bestie Amelia: she won't if I message her now,  unless she was at the party too Amelia: maybe she'd still be up Jac: don't be stupid Jac: obviously wait 'til you're sober Jac: she'd think you were trying to booty call her Amelia: I've got loads of them Jac: Lucky you, right Amelia: not really Jac: Connell hasn't messaged me yet Amelia: he's probably waiting until he's sober Amelia: so you don't think he's stupid Jac: I doubt he's put that much thought into it Amelia: don't you care? Jac: should I? Amelia: you like him Amelia: being thought about is like the bare minimum Jac: he wants me, that's all I need Amelia: loads of people want you and you didn't need any of them Jac: we're older now Amelia: yeah Amelia: we are Jac: if I don't want a boyfriend, there's the alternative Amelia: okay Jac: like you said, they think you're weird Amelia: you care about all the wrong things Jac: says you Amelia: I also said I don't want to fight anymore Jac: There's nothing to fight about Jac: get some sleep Amelia: just everything to fight for Jac: Amelia Amelia: I'm going, I'm going Jac: that's not what I meant Amelia: do you want to say what you mean? Jac: don't be mad at me, okay Amelia: I can't be mad at you Jac: Sorry Amelia: you're sorrier than you've ever been and I'm drunker Amelia: we really are older now Jac: ain't it fun Amelia: you'll have fun again tomorrow Amelia: or the next day Jac: that's a promise or a threat Amelia: Savannah won't let you be sad or any longer than it takes her to apply a facial Amelia: for* Jac: don't I deserve to be happy Amelia: of course you do Jac: then what's the problem? Amelia: Sorry Jac: yeah Jac: I know Jac: forget it, let's just Jac: tomorrow's a new day Amelia: I don't think facials cure hangovers Jac: it's all about hydration actually Jac: so it wouldn't hurt Amelia: it would if she applied it Amelia: whispering is a foreign language Jac: 🙄 Amelia: 🥱 Jac: go then Amelia: if that's what you want Jac: you're tired, don't be annoying Amelia: I'm tired of you defending her constantly Jac: I can't help that there's nothing wrong with her Amelia: she's annoying, don't call me annoying Jac: don't act like I'm making you go to sleep, or that you can't if I don't say so Amelia: I swear to god, it's like we're in a parallel fucking universe and I'm the only one who realises Jac: I like Savannah Amelia: Why? She's the same person you used to not like Jac: No, we didn't know her then Amelia: you sound like her, acting like her boyfriend magically appeared last year when she thinks he got hot Jac: Do you reckon randoms like Georgia know you as well as I do? Amelia: it doesn't mean she can't have an opinion Jac: no, but it means it's not as informed Amelia: she'll change her mind once we're best friends Amelia: I haven't changed mine about Savannah Jac: well I have Amelia: why don't you trust me? Jac: It's not about trusting you Jac: I've got my opinion, you've got yours Amelia: 😕 Jac: it doesn't have to be Amelia: what do you want me to do, spend even MORE time with her? Jac: I don't need you to like her Amelia: what then? Jac: Accept that I do, that's it Amelia: just don't like her more than me Jac: we aren't little kids any more Jac: you'll always be my first best friend, nothing can change that Amelia: I wish we were Jac: I know Jac: we can't go back though Jac: no matter how hard we wish it Amelia: I'm not stupid, I know it wasn't perfect Amelia: but I can't keep feeling like this going forward Jac: no, you can't Jac: what are you going to do? Amelia: I don't know Jac: one for the morning Amelia: one for my mum Jac: probably Amelia: if she can't help me I'll fully lean into the insane artist thing Jac: you're going to be okay, Meels Jac: I know you will Amelia: please go back to being cynical or I'm going to cry Jac: I'll do my best Amelia: thanks Jac: just keep away from 💛 paint okay Amelia: if I use it all to paint my room I'll be safe Amelia: and obviously cheered up Jac: have you made that much of a mess Jac: 🤢 🤮 Amelia: RIP to this rug, the only thing in here my mum liked Jac: oh god Amelia: Savannah will love me for giving her the chance to go 🛍 Amelia: we can all go Jac: that's true Amelia: Is will probably have 🤮 too Amelia: maybe right now, she's gone very quiet Jac: I should probably message her Amelia: tomorrow, you're 😴 as far as she knows Jac: a good out Jac: she's fine, right Amelia: she's 😍🥰😘 Amelia: that's fine for her Jac: Does she like Savannah Amelia: you read how excited she was about matching manicures Jac: right Jac: she doesn't fake stuff Amelia: so she must like her Jac: I don't know why she likes me Amelia: Is likes anyone who doesn't take a boy from her Jac: Yeah Jac: it's hard to feel sorry for her Amelia: anyway, you're a really easy person to like Jac: we aren't good friends to her Amelia: she's not perfect herself Jac: she's just oblivious though Amelia: I'll do better by her Jac: I don't know if I will Amelia: why not? Jac: I don't think I can be bothered Amelia: 😂 Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not funny though, really Amelia: a little bit Jac: you think I'm a bad person? Amelia: no Jac: okay Amelia: if I have to accept that we're not kids and everything's different, she can too Jac: we'll all have to Amelia: she'll probably get a proper boyfriend like Savannah soon anyway Amelia: then it'll be her who can't be bothered with us Jac: you're right Jac: hope it's not Tom Jac: or Josh??? Amelia: she can have one of the many lads in my inbox Jac: how generous of you Amelia: no ulterior motives Jac: just to palm them off Amelia: she'll enjoy it Jac: too much Amelia: I'll listen to her talk about it over doing it Jac: mhmm Jac: I have to go now Amelia: oh Amelia: okay Jac: I've got so much homework to do tomorrow Jac: I need at least some sleep to not totally tank it Amelia: at least we could spend time together in detention Jac: That is NOT happening Amelia: I'm joking, go Jac: Night ❤ Amelia: yeah Jac: aren't you going to wish me sweet dreams? Amelia: you're too virgo Amelia: too much on your mind Jac: you could still wish for me Jac: even if it won't happen Amelia: I do Jac: Thanks Jac: can you dream when you're drunk? Amelia: I don't really dream a lot Amelia: maybe I only can when I'm drunk Amelia: what if Jac: that's a terrible excuse for alcoholism Jac: but tell me in the morning Amelia: you'll have to remind me Jac: deal Amelia: goodnight Jac: 👋💤 Amelia: ❤❤❤

[bngtanah]

The Difference Between Boys & Girls | o2

summary: Sam & Erin are university students who share a cheap one bedroom apartment above a shitty takeaway restaurant. Due to the limited space, they’ve grown accustomed to sharing just about everything, including the occasional kiss. Despite the amount of time they spend together, their complete comfort in sharing a bed, etc, the pair continues to hold on to the idea that they are completely “platonic.” None of their friends believe this excuse, but as ridiculous as it sounds the unconventional living situation truly does seem to work for them.

Well, it used to anyway..

pairing: Jung Hoseok (Samuel Park)  x Named OC characters: meet the cast.

genre: angst, smut, fluff

chapters: o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11| 12| 13| 14

warning: boyfriend!hoseok, jealous!hoseok, friends to lovers trope, college au, angst, sexual themes, slow burn, ambw

a/n: i am a fool. I accidentally deleted my blog so this is me re-uploading EVERYTHING.

With her body wrapped in a dress that stopped just a couple inches below her ass, bare shoulders and a sheer cutout in the front Sam was having a hard time keeping his eyes from travelling along the contours of Erin's body.

Originally she planned on wearing just a pair of jeans and a cute top, thus ensuring that she would attract the least amount of attention when they reached their destination. That all changed when Samuel decided he was going to tag along, she didn't mind all eyes being on her as long as he was by her side.

And of course, the surge of confidence she felt after having caught Sam's eyes widen and his mouth drop open slightly when she stepped out of the bedroom may have had something to do with it also. He had managed to settle his features and avert his gaze once Erin joined him for their obligatory pregame shot in the kitchen, making sure to keep his distance like he was drinking with his baby sister and not some woman he'd leer at in a dim nightclub.

His reaction only made Erin stifled a giggle after she allowed the alcohol to ease down her throat. He could play it cool all he wanted, Erin knew she had ruffled his feathers and that alone was almost enough to make their whole night worth it before it even began.

"Aren't you, like...cold? In that dress?"  Samuel asked, uttering his first full sentence since they'd left the apartment.

Erin only shook her head and made a small noise to demonstrate her disagreeing.

Samuel scoffed and moved closer as they walked in stride, he knew better than to believe her when she was obviously freezing. He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side, the pad of his thumb drumming lightly against her hip. "Like hell you're not."

The touch burned through the flimsy layer of cloth and Erin was sure her cheeks would be flushed if she had any less melanin in her skin.

She couldn't allow her mind to read too much into his actions, however. As far as she knew Samuel had always been a very hands-on kind of guy. If he liked you, you knew because he'd find any excuse in the book to touch you. But there was also the side of his personality that just radiated affection when he was comfortable, the occasional hand grab, hug, caress usually mean nothing more to him than simply being friendly.

Sammy just liked human contact and sometimes it honestly drove Erin nuts.

"I think we're almost there" Erin commented as she glanced down at her cell phone, rereading the address Kim sent her a few hours earlier. "It should be on the left after this intersection."

"This doesn't really look like a good location for a bar" Sam noted as he glanced around their surroundings.

The streets were considerably empty for a Friday night and the few people they did see shuffling around looked like they were auditioning for part in Rent. Definitely not the young hip crowd either of them had been expecting.

Five minutes, and one wrong turn later they figured out exactly why the area seemed so dead.

The 'fun night out' Erin had been invited to turned out to be a gallery showing for a few unknown local artists. The air of excitement deflated the second Erin and Sam entered the building.

Kim was there at the entrance, craning her head back and forth and when she spotted Erin she beamed, and waved wildly. The second she did a quick scan of Erin's attire and noticed the handsome young man attached to her hip, her smile dulled considerably.

"Unnie! You remember my roommate, Samuel?"

Kim extended a hand, a smile way too broad to be genuine plastered on her lips. "Of course! It's a pleasure to see you again."

She was clearly lying since her nostrils were a bit too flared to be sincere. That didn't stop Sammy from grinning widely and taking her hand, bowing slightly to press his lips lightly to the back of her palm. "The pleasure is all mine."

Erin rolled her eyes gently and quirked her eyebrow in his direction, he winked at her and stood up straight again.

"Right. Well Erin I thought the friend you mentioned bringing along was a girl? Since this is a supposed to be a girl's night out."

And you said we would be going out for a drink, I guess we're both liars huh? Erin thought to herself.

"I know, but she couldn't make it and Sammy decided to volunteer to take her place. He might as well be a girl; you'll hardly notice the difference I promise."

Kim looked skeptical. Like she wanted to push the issue further but decided against it. "Alright he can stay but he has to participate like the rest of us."

"Participate, in what?" Sam asked.

"The post night discussion of course!" Kim answered, with more excitement than necessary as she reached down into her purse and dug out a notebook and pen for each of them. "We're all going to take notes on our favourite pieces and discuss them after the viewing, fun right?"

Erin braved a smile since she was used to Kim's concept of fun. Sam, on the other hand, refused to believe that she was serious as he erupted into a fit of laughter. Erin dug her elbow into his side and gave Kim a look of reassurance, "He has a weird sense of humour, we’re going to love this."

Kim nodded slowly and readjusted the strap of her purse "Okay, if you need anything just find me I'll be around" She began backing away "Oh and the drinks are free if you want one" The petite girl added before turning and disappearing into the shallow crowd.

"Homework, E. Seriously?" Sam began complaining not two seconds after Kim was no longer within earshot.

"What happened to Mr. Positive? The drinks are free that's something, right?"

"It's the only reason I'm still standing here"

"Oh come on, you wouldn't abandon your noona. Especially after you asked to tag along" Erin chuckled as she clipped the pen onto the side of her notebook.

"That's because I thought we would be drinking, not analyzing crappy art"

"Listen, I don't wanna do this anymore than you do. I'm way overdressed and I don't even like art. But at least we're here together and we've already been spotted so it's too early to bail anyway. If you want to continue grumbling I won't stop you but grumble on the way to the bar to get us some drinks."

Sam parted his lips to argue, but the resolve in Erin's eye made him second guess that. They could literally argue all night over this and he wasn't about to upset her when she looked that nice. "You're right," He sighed "You want your usual?"

"Yes please," Erin beamed and leaned upward to peck his cheek before he sauntered away in the direction of the bar with a dopey smile.

Suddenly very aware of the fact that she was standing in the middle of the floor alone, Erin quickly moved towards the nearest display of art. She pulled the pen from her notepad and pretended to be interested in the large canvas splattered with various lines and squiggles. Erin was never very appreciative of art even when she could understand the concept.

"Oh my god, this looks like a goddamn finger painting" She muttered underneath her breath.

A bellow of male laughter tickled Erin's ears from behind and almost made her jump out of her skin. She turned and came face to face with an unfamiliar person. His rounded cheeks made him seem young, much too young to be mixed in with this crowd but once Erin allowed her eyes to drift further down from his face she determined that he was probably in her age bracket. His hair was parted through the middle and pushed away from his face, colored a shade that Erin could only describe as neon tangerine and he wore a smile on his face that made the room seem ten shades brighter. He was tall but only by comparison to Erin, he was still a few inches shorter than Sammy so that brought him right to her eye level.

"Sorry, I didn't realise I was talking out loud," Erin said softly, accompanying her words with a slight bow.

"Don't be, you're not lying" He answered, still trying to stop himself from laughing "I'm Brian by the way."

"Erin"

Brian bit into his lip once his laughter subsided and subtly felt Erin up with his eyes. She pretended not to notice and returned her attention to the painting.

"So I guess art isn't really your thing either?"

"I love it actually, but the use of color and composition here is just lazy and uninspired." Brian commented and took a step closer, he was close enough for Erin to catch the scent of his cologne and a tiny shudder ran down the base of her spine. It was small but significant considering the only man that made her feel that way lately was Sammy. "Look at this area right here" He gestured to the far left side of the canvas "To the untrained eye it would probably look like a deliberate splatter of red paint to represent anguish, but I know that this artist just stepped on a tube and left the mark there."

"Mhm.... wait can you repeat that first thing again," Erin said, quickly putting her pen against the notebook and writing down the gist of what his.

"Are you a journalist?" Brian asked, scratching the back of his neck.

"University student, this is just for my.... study group. How do you know so much about this?"

"Because it's my painting and it only took me about five minutes to finish" Brian grinned and turned to face Erin. He was inches away and the coy smile that spread across his lips when their eyes connected made her chortle. Brian wet his bottom lip with his tongue which inadvertently drew Erin's attention there before the sound of someone clearing their throat behind them broke up the staring contest.

"Uh. The line was long, here's your drink. Who is this?" Sammy asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Erin smiled and took the tumbler of liquid from Samuel "This is Brian, we're making fun of his terrible art. Brian, this is my roommate; Sammy"

Both men nodded toward each other, exchanging a polite handshake before turning their attention back to Erin. Samuel was the first to speak.

"Listen do you really want to stay here all night? The drinks are watered down and I know how much you hate this art crap"

Erin shrugged gently but made a sour face the second she took a sip of her drink, it tasted like cranberry juice mixed with tap water, not vodka.

"Oh gross, let's get out of here before Kim finds me again," She said resting her cup on the nearest flat surface. She was all prepared to sprint out the nearest exit when a hand gently grabbed her upper arm and stopped her in her tracks.

"If you're going to leave can I see your phone before you go?" Brian asked, flirtatious smile still present.

"Why do you need to see my phone?"

"So I can put my number into it"

"Wow, you are subtle!" Erin laughed, taking a second to think of a response. "Ah, what the hell" She sighed and pulled her phone out of her purse, unlocked it and handed it over.

"Oh, what's this? It looks like you're accidentally calling me, that's weird. I guess I'll just have to save your number in my phone as well" Brian mused as his fingers moved over the keypad.

The entire interaction made Sam's lips fall into a flat, disapproving line while Erin giggled like it was the most amusing thing she'd ever seen.

"I hope to see you around sometime, Erin" Brian waved while she and Samuel headed toward the entrance.

"You too"

Instead of going home like Erin thought they would be, she and Samuel ended up at a bar a few blocks down from the warehouse where the gallery viewing was. Kim and all the members of her study group called multiple times but Erin stopped feeling bad about not picking after the first few shots.

Somehow one hour turned into to two and both Sam and Erin were tipsy to say the least they burst out onto the sidewalk, laughing at jokes neither of them were saying out loud.

"Do you know what we should do right now?" Sammy said excitedly, his hands holding onto Erin's shoulders.

"What?"

"Go watch the stars! Like we used to in school... I'm pretty sure there's a park somewhere around here" He muttered to himself but propelled forward anyway, dragging Erin along with him. She allowed him to pull her along as he tried to gain his bearings, she wasn't really ready to go home yet either.

After some trial and error, they managed to find the "park", which was actually just a patch of grass and a small hill but who was complaining?

Sammy motioned for Erin to sit next and she scrunched her nose upward "I don't want my dress to get dirty I'll stand, it's okay."

"Here," He sighed, pulling the jacket he was wearing off his shoulders and laying it down over the grass. "Better princess?"

"Much" Erin grinned as she moved to sit, exhaling a deep breath once she was settled and Sammy's arm found its way behind her. "I can't remember the last time we did this," She said after a beat, glancing up at the illuminated night sky.

"I do. It was the night of my graduation, you rode the bus all the way from Seoul to Daegu just to be there for my ceremony and stayed up with me to watch the stars even though you had a class the next morning." Sammy recalled with fondness in his voice.

"I remember that you begged me for like two hours to sneak out to the beach with you. Then when we actually got there you couldn't stop freaking out about being caught."

"My mother is a very perceptive woman; I still think she noticed me leaving in her sleep!"  Sammy retorted and both of them exploded with laughter.

"You made a promise that night too, do you remember that?"

Sam nodded with a smile but didn't saying anything.

"You're just going to make me repeat it by myself?"

"You look so cute when you say it noona"

Erin rolled her eyes, but cleared her throat anyway "I- state your name-"

"Sang-min 'Samuel' Park!"

"-So solemnly swear to live my life to fullest degree of potential and happiness possible from this moment on, recognising that I am no longer a child, but that doesn't I have to turn into a cynical old man. All agreed say aye." Erin was hardly able to finish talking before she gave into the laughter.

"Aye!" Sammy repeated in a squeaky voice and joined Erin in a chorus of giggles and guffaws.

A moment of comfortable silence passed over them once the laughter died down and Erin sighed again, snuggling closer to Sam and leaning backwards on her elbows. "You think you kept your promise? Are you happy, Sam?"

He frowned for a second and shrugged "I'm alright, I've still got you with me so that's good enough for me." He said softly, reaching forward to brush a stray hair out of Erin's eyes and tuck it behind her ear. The tips of his fingers slowly trailed along her jawline as if he was touching her for the first time. When he cupped her jaw in one hand and pulled her face closer his Erin found herself letting him do so.

They had kissed before, games of spin the bottle at high school parties and a few times after having a couple drinks at home. But those could be explained away by a momentary lapse in judgement and raging underdeveloped hormones. This was a deliberate action and Samuel made sure to move at a slow pace to give Erin enough to time to back out if she wanted to.

She didn't want to.

"You looked so good tonight, noona" Sam whispered against the shell of Erin's ear, the bridge of his nose nuzzled against the hollow of Erins cheek and the warmth of his breath fanned over her skin causing heat to spread all over her body. Her breathing grew shallow and her eyes fluttered shut in anticipation, just as his lips barely brushed against her own a loud blaring noise shattered their fairy tale and made them both jump backwards.

"Oh shit, I think that's my phone. Sorry" Erin fumbled around with the clutch in her hands before pulling out her cell phone and preparing to curse out whoever had the misfortune of calling her at that exact moment.

"Hello?" Erin barked into the receiver.

"I- I'm sorry is this not a good time? Were you sleeping?" Brian’s gentle voice momentarily disarmed Erin's annoyance and she shook her head.

"Oh Brian is that you? No... I'm actually not even home yet, Sammy and I stopped for a drink before going home"

"O-oh okay," Brian replied softly, taking a second to think before speaking again "Well maybe you can text me when you home just so I know you're safe."

"I can do that" Erin answered, trying her best to smile even though she noticed the sudden change in Sam's posture, going from relaxed to rigid the second Erin answered the phone. He stood up after she hung up and held out a hand to help her to her feet. After she was standing he leaned down to pick up his jacket and dusted it off before placing it around Erin's shoulders.

"I should get you home."

[darrowsrising]

HowlerPod interview with Pierce Brown:

Howler Rule No. 3: Never make fun of someone who shat their suit. 

A couple he married is still together and the Seattle leg tour is done in a church, so Pierce Brown thinks the Church of Darrow might really happen (sign me the fuck up, I’m worshipping Reaper since ‘I would have lived in peace, but my enemies brought me war.’)

He could never blame his dog, Eo, for anything. His rug can smell of piss and he would blame himself.

He wrote all the povs independently and then pieced them together.

He cosiders DarkAge the best book in the series and if you disagree, that’s fine, fuck you!

He had to write four chapters in three day, roughly 70 pages, because he realised he had gaps and he pulled all-nighters to meet the deadline. He said it the deadline was hard not to respect, because you can’t push a book 3 times, unless you are George R. R. Martin. Btw, GRRM’s Dance of Dragons is what got him to write: he pre-ordered the book three times and didn’t know, so he ended up with 3 copies plus the one he bought from the bookstore.

He said Mustang is the best (so, haters can eat their hearts out for all I care) and he loves her dialogue with Holiday, she’s just so sharp (he says he is bragging here, but he ain’t wrong). Creating her voice was interesting to him, as until now we see her as a projection of Darrow. The hesitation and difficulty he had about doing her pov was ‘can I do her justice?’, because she is a cypher, an enigma, she’s never been explained. 

His best friend says he doesn’t trust her, says ‘she shady, man’ and that he suspected her that she was going to kill Darrow and take over the Society and didn’t trust her until Morning Star ended. Pierce was like’I guess she didn’t...wasn’t up to anything...’.

To Pierce there are three ways to seeing Mustang: 

1 .expectations;

2. Darrow’s perspective;

3. how she sees herself; which isn’t an actual representation of herself, because that’s how we are, we don’t really see ourselves, we are biased, we’re insecure, we’re trapped in this echo-chamber of self-doubt. 

She, on the other hand, is a living, breathing character who has these self-doubts, but she’s a hottie (it was a thing Erin commented about her, that she’s a hottie, but the smartest person in the room and Pierce said she’s a hottie, but not condescending at the same time) and has all this wisdom, but is well aware of her motality and the things her father thought her. Which is sometimes contradictory as Nero often disobeyed his own rules.

For Mustang’s pov, he took away Darrow’s perspective and minded only her reflection of herself as well as what others think of her and juggled both. She is mindful of who she is and what people think about her which was interesting, because Darrow doesn’t give a fuck about what people say about him. And that’s part of the problem, but also part of who he really is.

People want to blame Darrow for shit, but Golds...there can be many people in a room, but when Darrow enters, everybody takes a step back. (Proud Howler right here!)

Apollonius au Valii-Rath, the Minotaur of Motherfucking Mars. (Yes, he said that!)

No, he has no idea how he created him. Apollonius never gets his dialogue edited. His grandiloquence is part of the show and just so fun to write. He gets to mess with a bad version of a Paradise Lost dialogue, from sentence structure to getting Apple to refer to himself in first, second and third person. The guy is a madman, but also so dangerous, because he has that mania behind his eyes. He’s also the guy that speaks three inches from your nose: ‘Wow,why are you so close?’ and Apple is like ‘Do you fear intimacy?’ (he said it in a cool af voice, just go listen to the podcast Pixies, I’m doing this for posterity). Pierce Brown’s favourite scenes include Apollonius at the feast table. He sometimes listens to violin concertos when he writes him. Someone asked him if he’s also naked while writing and listening and he says ‘how else do you think I write?’. The FedEx guy knows by now when he writes an Apollonius chpater. He can write Apollonius faster than most his characters because he is ridiculous and insane and doesn’t have to second guess himself. Apple just want to be the apex hunter of his world, the apex killer. He wants his legend to live on and his vendettas are good, but he’s never scheming, his motives are out there, while everyone else is scheming.

When it comes to death of the characters, he’s trying to strip away plot-armour. He also thinks it’s funny every now and then. But honestly he tries to make the world scarier, making the reader terrified. He also tries to balance it, not make it like No Country for Old Men hardcore and non-romantic endings. 

1. He loves Darrow, he wants to keep him alive

2. He wants to see him mince shite. (at least that’s what I heard, deal with it)

3. He wants to deal with his guilt complex.

4. He needs his story to go on

So Darrow has a bit of a plot armor, but the rest don’t, at least not to the same degree. Some survive really bad stuff, but that’s because this story is one that doesn’t take itself too seriously, he hopes.

He’s like ‘Go away!’ at people who talk about Darrow’s plot armor.( Someone needs to cut that part and send it to me as a gift for whatever occassion you can imagine. Because SAME!!!) Because he compensates by ptting him through hell (that the smmary of it, just go listen to the episode, you’ll love it)

MY QUESTION GOT ASKED FIRST!!! VALIDATION!!!

Howler Questions:

How do you rank Darrow in a top 50 razor fighters of all time?

He said this one is hard, but as his characters get better, this pops up a lot. It gets to a point where these guys can either get lucky or they might slip, make a risky move or mess up and lose. If they try something their master said not to do they can either lose or get lucky.

Darrow could lose to Lorn in his prime, but otherwise he might get him. Especially in 0 gravity, as Darrow is better in 0 gravity. Sevro is probably the best in 0 gravity as he could invert gravity, but there are characters in DA that can also do that. 

There was a laziness to a degree, a formality to dueling, because they were in a  period of peace. This new generation was raised in war, so now everyone is better, everyone knows their stuff. Everyone knows Darrow knows the Willow Way and because of that everyone practices fighting the curved blade. DArrow has to change up his razror style, he himself has to change, because his enemies expect his stuff now.

Right now, if Iron Gold!Darrow or Dark Age!Darrow would fight Aja (Morning Star), they’d probably kill each other. Aja was 60 or 50 in Morning Star, she just looks younger, because Golds. Octavia is over 110 and Lorn is pretty well over that age too.

Another question (not by me): What advice woul you give your teenage self?

Don’t be afraid to be weird.

Last Howler question: did you ever wrote charcters after people you don;t like and did you kill them?

No, because he writes books that go out of this world. He thinks there are better worlds out there than this one, even if they are terrible. And he thinks that the best way to deal with his enemies is to forget them.

Random thing that I found interesting:

If there was an olympics for everyday things, he’d get a medal at:

Cooking. He cooks anything italian, provecial french cuisine, he knows Julia Child books cover to cover...

Also at spoiling his dog.

His favourite Pixar movie was Up and he cried only when the dog slipped into the house and said ‘because I love you’. Otherwise he doesn’t cry at Pixar movies.

He cried do at Legend of the Fall when Brad Pitt comes home to find out his dad had a stroke.

He assumed he was the ArchPrimus of the whole series.

He’s into the book Rubicon by Tom Holland and The Boys on Amazon Prime.

He asked HowlerPod what are they into these days and Ben said The Boys too, but Erin said Dark Age. The she asked if that is alright or too on the eye, but Pierce said ‘Ben why didn’t you said that. Traitors comes from the front.’ But Erin admitted she was buttering him up in order to get some recipes from him.

Great interview! Also, my 2 seconds of fame! Thank you HowlerPod for this amazing interview!

Hail Howler 1!

Here’s a link: https://www.howlerpod.com/