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tvseries-writings · 7 months ago

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From a great power comes great responsibilities

Wandanat x Bioquake x Bobbi x reader

Plot: Reader goes beyond her limits with her powers to help others (exhausts her powers)

TW: death for a moment(?)

It all happens so fast that you don't realize it until the building starts collapsing over your heads. You see a chunk of concrete the size of a car fall on top of you, and before your brain can connect, your body acts on instinct, carrying you, Daisy, and Bobbi out of the building. You concentrate on teleporting all three of you, intact, inside the quinjet where Jemma, Natasha and Wanda are running the operation, or at least, were before everything went to hell.

You land on the floor of the plane with a thud, falling forward and coughing hard to expel the dust that has filled your lungs. You glance at your girls making sure they are okay and then, you cross your arms to teleport again but Natasha's hand on your left arm stops you.

"Don’t even think about it, everything is collapsing, you can't teleport in there. It is suicide and you are not going to save anyone if you are dead, do you understand me?"

You swallow, watching the building collapse, and so, with a small smile on your lips, you lean toward Natasha and kiss her. It lasts a few seconds and she is distracted enough to let go of her grip on you.

"I'm sorry but I have to do this," you whisper and then, you close your eyes and feel the earth vanish from under your feet. You focus on the 'one safe place inside the building that you know with absolute certainty will not collapse. The beauty of a secret Hydra base was the bunkers, after all. Those crazy fucking Nazis had thought that sacrificing at least a hundred of their own people was a fair price to pay to take out three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, and they had blown up the load-bearing walls of the building with a simple and very trivial click. Nazis, they never change.

When you open your eyes again and realize you are not dead or under some boulder, you gloat internally and mentally thank Natasha for forcing you to learn the floor plan of that base. You remember perfectly her stern look when she had presented you with the mission and forced you to learn every single detail by heart. At that moment you had hated it but now...now you really wanted to kiss her.

You raise your hands in the air when you notice a score of soldiers pointing their guns at you, hiding behind them their "incentives," as Hydra liked to call them. Wives, husbands, children, mothers and fathers hid behind those men and women in black with a crest that did not belong to them.

"It's okay, I just want to get you out of here. I can teleport you all but in multiple groups."

You curse yourself internally, you know you'll never be able to take this much effort, the last time you tried to teleport five people together you fainted and were unconscious for six hours you can't even imagine what would happen with forty, including soldiers and families.

You take a deep breath and think quickly about how you can take everyone out of there. The floor under your feet trembles and just as the children begin to cry, the earpiece in your ear comes alive.

"Y/n, damn it, Daisy can't hold it much longer...you have to get out of there, do you hear me? The structure won't hold much longer" Bobbi yells in your ear and you nod, well aware that she cannot see you, before giving her a verbal response.

"I'm trying honey, thanks for the advice though."

You mumble sarcastically, no longer listening to what your girlfriends are shouting at you over the comms and focusing instead on getting the people in front of you to safety. The soldiers lower their weapons and pull off the bands on your arm, throwing them to the ground.

"Are there others in the base?"

"They're all dead, ma'am" the lieutenant, or who you think is the lieutenant, answers you by looking around as if to confirm what she just said. Your stomach clenches at the thought of all those people who died for a cause they didn't even believe in but you quickly shake off that feeling, you don't have time for it. You quickly count them, noting that there are twenty-five of them before thinking about how to get them all out of there safely.

"So… I can take all the children outside."

You point to the little ones; some of them are crying while others are looking at you with wide, fearful eyes but charged with the same admiration and hope with which a child looks at his favorite superhero. There are nine children but you can make it, they are worth four times one adult, right? You can even take four adults with you, then; you have to do it, you won't have the strength to make three more trips, you are sure.

You gather them around you and have each of them touch arms or legs, depending on where their little hands reach, and do the same with the four women, two old and two young, who accompany them. As they say, women and children first.

"Y/n, we have set up a camp out here, four hundred meters from the base in a southwesterly direction."

-What the hell is the South?" you think, before shrugging your shoulders and closing your eyes. The feeling of the floor vanishing beneath your feet is not something you will ever get used to, if you have to be honest. You hear the children scream, whether from excitement or fear you can't tell, and then, in less than a second, you find yourself at that poorly set up base camp Jemma told you about a few seconds ago. A little dizziness forces you to lean on the ground, on the hot sand beneath you, and small drops of blood color the grains beneath your fingers. You raise your hand, reaching up your nose and finding the source of the bleeding. Children are being rounded up by an officer but you fail to recognize him as your girlfriends run toward you. Jemma has a first aid kit in her hand, but before she can set about playing cheerful surgeon with you, you scan to the side, staggering on your own feet.

"I'm fine, I've got to get back in there."

"You can't stand y/n, you can't-"

You frown, noticing only in that moment that Daisy is not there with all of you.

"Where's Dee?"

"She fainted, tried to absorb as many shocks as possible. She's collapsed y/n and that's also what's going to happen to you if you continue, you're already in a very bad way."

Jemma lifts your head, causing your gazes to cross and looking critically at your pupils and the nosebleed that doesn't seem to have any intention of stopping coming out. You back away a few steps, looking into their eyes.

"Go to Daisy, I'll take care of this," you say and then disappear again.

You repeat the same process as before, surrounding yourself with six soldiers and watching the remaining six.

"I will come back for you, I promise."

And as you disappear into thin air, another tremor shakes the ground.

The landing is more abrupt this time. Your heart beats so weakly that you feel as if oxygen is not getting to your brain. Contrary to what you expected, Natasha grabs you by the arms before your face can splat on the scorching sand. You struggle to stay awake and if so out that you don't even notice Daisy, pale, sweaty, and trembling, over the shoulders of the former Russian spy. You blink a few times to focus on the image in front of you and finally the sounds reach your ears again.

"Y/N!"

Natasha shakes you by the shoulders and you awaken from your stupor. The worried gazes of Wanda, Jemma, Daisy, Natasha and Bobbi are fixed on you as Natasha gently lays you on the ground and Jemma places a bottle of water on your lips, helping you drink it. As soon as you remember where you are, you try to sit up but Daisy stops you, simply putting a hand on your chest to keep you down.

"I'm-I'm fine, mm-missing six people-D-I have to an-go."

You stammer, the effort you've put in doesn't even make you able to utter a coherent and clea sentence. Another jolt shakes the floor beneath your feet and Daisy groans in pain, bringing her hands to her head and squeezing her eyes shut. That small advantage allows you to roll over and with an absurd effort you manage to get to your feet and disappear back under their gazes.

When you get to the bunker, the first thing you do is fall to your knees and throw up. You completely empty your stomach under the disgusted gaze of the six soldiers in front of you. You wipe your mouth with your suit, wrinkling your nose at the disgusting taste of vomit in your mouth and leaning against the wall to pull yourself up without passing out. You must hold on a little longer, just a little, and then you can collapse to the ground.

The six soldiers surround you-diligently avoiding the pool of vomit on the ground and the blood that keeps coming out of your nose-and in a moment you are out.

As soon as you hit the sand, you sprawl to the ground. Your cheek scrapes against the sand and this time Natasha is not quick enough to catch you. Jemma drops to her knees next to you, turns you so that your face is facing her but your eyes are closed. She checks your chest and when she notices that the latter does not rise or fall, she checks your pulse before a gasp of terror and fear escapes her lips.

"Bobbi, adrenaline and defibrillator. Now!"

Natasha tilts your head back, her eyes glazed over as she opens your mouth and blows air into your lungs. Jemma begins compressions.

1,2,3,4,5

Nat puts air into your lungs and your chest rises and falls once before falling back inert. Wanda's sobs and Jemma's barely stifled ones are the only sound before a crack makes your girls nauseous.

"It's okay, it happens during compressions," Jemma's voice trembles as she says it and then, she performs another round of compressions. Your arms burn but that pain is nothing compared to the dull ache that is burning in your chest at that moment.

1,2,3,4,5

Natasha forces your chest up again and then Bobbi arrives with defibrillator and adrenaline in hand. She is sweating and her heart is racing. She has never run so fast in her entire life.

"Bobbi, take my place."

Jemma continues with compressions, then, on her go, Bobbi gets in place and follows her own rhythm.

"Come on rockstar, it's not your time yet, come on."

Bobbi's breath barely hides the tremor in her voice but not the tears that line her cheeks. It takes two defibrillator shocks before your heart starts beating again.

"Oh my God" Wanda bursts into tears, leaning over your face and gently kissing your forehead, brushing a few strands of sweaty hair off your face.

"Good, you did great love" Natasha whispers, taking your hand in her own as Bobbi laughs from relief.

Daisy instead stands by, frowning, and Jemma is the first to notice.

"Dee, what's wrong?"

Daisy looks at you and then, nods.

"Something's wrong, her heart, it doesn't have the usual vibes, non-"

And then, your heart stops beating again.

"Fuck, Bobbi give me the adrenaline."

Jemma Simmons never swears but there are always exceptions.

Jemma performs two more rounds of compressions before injecting adrenaline into your chest. She hooks you up to one of the monitors that Fitz had devised a few months earlier, at the request of the biochemist, for just such situations, and when he sees that the line remains flat, his heart, too, seems to stop for a few seconds.

Your body is shaken by the shock emitted by the defibrillator; it arches upward and then falls back to the sand as hard as a puppet whose strings have been suddenly dropped. The line remains flat and Jemma's tears now gush without limit.

"No no, Jem you have to try again. She can't, she can't..."

Wanda bursts into tears, looking at your lifeless body lying on the ground. Natasha punches the ground with such force that the crack that can be heard echoing cannot mean anything good. Bobbi cries as she takes the former Russian spy's hand and gives her a look. Anything not to think about what just happened.

"No, it doesn't end like that."

"Daisy...she-"

Daisy takes your lifeless body in her hands, shaking it by the shoulders.

"Do you understand me? You can't fucking die, you can't. You promised us, you stubborn idiot, you promised us!"

The Inhuman hits your chest hard, her fist closed, and without her really being able to control what she's doing, a powerful jolt goes through your chest and crashes against the ground, creating a small crack beneath you, and then, the flat line of the monitor disappears, replaced by regular little roller coasters.

"W-what?" Daisy whispers, sitting on the floor suddenly much more tired than before from the effort she has just made. Jemma hurries to personally check your pulse and when she feels the pulse under her fingers, a shuddering breath of joy leaves her lips.

"I...I think your tremors got her heart beating again Dee."

Jemma does not detach her fingers from your wrist, lulling herself into the sweet sensation of your heartbeat, albeit weak. Wanda covers her face, bursting into tears, and the other girls also let out a liberating cry, releasing all the tension and fear they had felt up to that moment.

...................................................................................................

Your body takes five days to heal just enough to open your eyes. You realize you are in the Quinjet's medical capsule within seconds, by now you have been there so many times over the years that you know the smallest details: the familiar beeping sound of your heartbeat, the red button to call Jemma just below the lamp behind the back of the bed, the IV that feeds drugs into your veins, and the glass from which Jemma checks that you are not doing anything the doctor has forbidden you to do. A little unfair of her since she is the doctor. You feel as if a truck has hit you and then a car has run over you to complete the job. You raise your hand to scratch your nose but the oxygen mask prevents you from doing so so you squeeze it between your fingers to remove it but just as you are about to do so, a hasty knock against the clear glass causes you to smile a small smile of exasperation. Even before you turn around, in fact, you already know that you will see your beautiful doctor on the other side. To your surprise, however, she is not alone.

"You just woke up and already you want to take off your mask, I have no words really. Who is the doctor here? You have to do what I tell you if you want to get better, between you and Dais I really don't know who is worse."

Jemma admonishes you and you blush, feeling like a child being scolded by his parents.

"Hey, what do I have to do with this now?" Daisy pouts before slinging herself into your arms. You can't help but notice that his forearm is completely bandaged. When he notices where your gaze points, the Inhuman shrugs.

"It was worth it."

She slides the mask off your face, kissing you with so much passion and love that it leaves you breathless for a few seconds before the Inhuman promptly rushes to slip the mask back over your face.

"You scared us malyshka" Natasha approaches you and her plastered hand makes you frown. The Russian blushes, and for some reason you realize you don't really need to ask her how she broke her hand. Wanda caresses your cheek, leaving a tender kiss on your forehead.

"How are you feeling detka?"

"I'm just a little tired but I'm fine; exactly what happened?"

Their faces darken and that joy you had seen quickly fades.

"You collapsed, your heart couldn't take the strain, and we had to revive you twice." Bobbi's voice trembles as she says this and you reach out your hand toward her; the blonde grabs it and intertwines your fingers, turning a small smile to you.

"You were really a rockstar but if you do that again, I think we might actually kill you."

"Oh yes, don't think we haven't thought about what punishment to give you. Besides not being able to use your powers for at least four months-"

"What? Four months? But that's an eternity-" you jerk back to your seat, removing your mask and immediately regretting it as your vision blurs and the pain in your ribs increases exponentially, so much so that you lean to the right and vomit into the only thing you can grab.

Jemma strokes your back while Wanda holds your hair as you empty the meager contents of your stomach. As soon as you finish, you are so weak that dizziness takes over and your head falls back forward. If it weren't for Wanda, your face would be splattered against the floor. Jemma casts a glance at the heart monitor, and the value it reads makes your heart beat so fast you're afraid your chest might explode. She puts on your oxygen mask and then checks your vitals again.

Your pupils roll back, and as you fall helpless into Wanda's arms, the Sokovian panics a little.

"Hey, hey, detka wake up."

Wanda taps your cheeks but the only thing that changes is the further lowering of your heart rate.

"Jem, what's going on?" Daisy strokes your face, putting her hand on your chest to check your heart vibrations.

Jemma rummages through the drawers of the medical capsule and then, at the fifth drawer she ravages for something, she finally finds what she is looking for. In her hands she clutches a small glass case, inside which she glimpses a metal disk less than three centimeters in diameter and less than two centimeters thick.

As soon as she sees this, Bobbi cuts off your suit exposing your bare chest except for the three electrodes and the black bra you are wearing.

Jemma places the diskette on top of your left breast, just above your sternum, and presses the button above it. The disc blends in with your skin, being invisible to the human eye, and your body jerks, before your heartbeat returns to normal. The small jolt causes you to open your eyes and grimace in pain.

"What the hell-" you mutter, reaching out to massage your chest but Jemma stops you before you can.

"Hey, your heart rate was extremely low and I had to put a pacemaker on you. It's not invasive, Fitz designed one that blends in perfectly and doesn't give any problems whatsoever but you'll have to avoid EMPs but you can't take it off love, okay? I think the effort you put in was such that it damaged your heart, and without a peacemaker you could have another heart attack so until we find another solution and until we have done more tests, you can't use your powers."

You nod, squeezing your eyes shut as fatigue takes over.

"Rest now, we're here malyshka."

Natasha leaves a kiss in your hair while Daisy leaves one on your cheek. Jemma dims the lights to allow you to rest and Wanda lies next to you in the crib while Bobbi closes the glass curtains facing outward to give you all some privacy as you fall into dreamland surrounded by your girls.

You don't know it yet but one of those children you saved is going to become one of the best agents S.H.I.E.L.D. has ever had so maybe a slightly battered heart is worth it.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Leave like, comment and if you like support me on ko-fi. Have a great day!

Taglist: @wandanatsbaby @bioquake-archives @bioquakeweek @daisyjohnsonx @wandanatsgirlfriend @chaekhan @station19 @resilientpendragon @so-no-kissing-then @thearchpitbullmx @ashadash0904 @kingshitonly @alwaysgoodnight @callistic @xjule @yuleni18 @simpforwandanat @alexxislexi @mrsdanversromanoff @coollemonsaresour @hushed-woodsman @razorscooteer @eponine-xx @maniacallinc @michelle170 @classyig @elenaguarnieri @scarletwidow @tati3001 @cristin-rjd @your-my-mission @mr-nicely @hi-i-1 @anniethurs @ktstwice @scarlet-raccoon @maria-403 @goldfishthegr8 @wandanatfan @looiegirl-blog @bioquake-blog @daisyjohnsonx

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a-spes · 1 month ago

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So.. I have seen an edit about Captain Anderson & Chen, from the Rookie, and maybe I was the only one to ship them, but I really like (love) the dynamic the both of them have 🙃

And so, I can't stop thinking about Maria Hill having a similar bond with Reader when they are both working as S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agents. So hope you will enjoy the Maria Hill content you get today 🙆

She is the training officer than no one wants to be assigned to.

She may be the commander, the one you need to impress if you want to be given good opportunities in the job, but she is also the one who could easily make your first day as an agent the last — and it is something she would be happy to do.

They are a lot of rumors about the woman. They are glorious, but they scare the students. She has achieved a lot of great things in her carrer, but it doesn't come without a price ; this job became her whole life. Commander Hill has nothing to loose, she has no one to come home to, and she expects every agent to act the same way, to at least pretend they are in the same situation — "because if you don't, if you are too scared of dying to do your job properly, then it will become a reality. You fail, you loose everything," she had said the first day.

She is strict. She never forgives, nor forgets, when a mistake is made. She has no time to waste, and only trains the best rookies. So it is no surprised that she was assigned to this guy from your promotion. He is first in every class, he is strong, confident,.. in other words, he is the perfect trainee.

At least, he used to be, before he decided to quit S.H.I.E.L.D., only a few weeks after he has started his training by her side. So when time came for the woman to choose a new trainee, and when she pointed at you, making you her new one, you were shaking with fear — because she just sealed your fate.

The first weeks were hard, the woman didn't seem to warm up to your presence despite the time that has passed. She barely talks to you and, when she does, it is only to give cold orders or to reprimand your way of doing things. It feels like you are playing a game you can't win because she refuses to explain the rules to you, and she keeps changing them.

You are trying your best to meet her expectations, but you are only messing everything up. She sees everything you say, or do, as a failure. You haven't heard a single compliment falling from her lips the past few weeks, and it is slowly gnawing at your from the inside.

The worse is probably when she doesn't say anything. In those moments, when she looks at you with a stern glance, and an expression you can't read because she is like a closed book. Those moments when she leaves you alone with your thoughts, and you can only imagine what you have done wrong this time. It keeps you awake at nights.

She does it for your own good, that is what she repeats to herself when she eventually comes to a point when she starts to question her methods. She is strict, and demanding, and that is exaclty what you need because that is what will keep you alive on the field. The world doesn't give second chances.

If you decide to quit, it is that you weren't made for the job. Yet, you are still here, and she has to admit that she is quite surprised because you haven't even snapped at her — something most of the recruits would have done by now. Except you are slighly different. She has never seen someone so eager to obey orders. Someone who is able to put their egos aside, and accept that they have to learn everything again because the real life is nothing alike the academy.

Maybe, for once, she has to admit that her trainee holds the potential to make a great agent one day — yet, it is not something she would tell you directly.

(more is coming)

#a spes thoughts #t: maria hill #maria hill #maria hill imagine #maria hill thoughts #maria hill fluff #maria hill writing #maria hill x reader #reader insert #female reader #commander maria hill #marvel cinematic universe #mcu imagine #mcu thoughts #mcu writing #agents of shield imagine #agents of shield

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vbecker10 · 6 months ago

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Can you do one where reader and Loki have a really bad day and get into an arguement over the phone before they get home then someone attacks reader and she is stuck in an alleyway. Loki starts getting worried because she wasn't home for dinner so Loki goes to look for her and asks his brother and the avengers if they have seen her. He later finds her in an alley right outside unconscious? Ends in fluff?? Or something like that?

Running into Trouble

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: You and Loki have recently started dating and get into a fight after you have both had a long, stressful day. You go out for a run to clear your head and end up being attacked, which is Loki's worst fear.

Warnings: arguing, very protective Loki, getting mugged / attacked (not shown), minor injuries, feeling weak, but not to worry there is a fluffy ending as requested

A/N: I love this request! I'm sorry it took me so long to get to it. Also, I think running is evil but I'm this way about going for walks after work so that's kinda where the idea came from. Thanks so much for sending this! I hope you like it! 💚

Thanks @soubi001 for the title and letting me bounce ideas for the end off you! 🙂

"Come in," Loki answers when you knock on his office door. He looks up from the papers on his desk and smiles when he sees you. "Hello darling," he says happily as he gets up to meet you.

"I missed you," you tell him, putting your arms around him.

He chuckles, "I saw you half an hour ago."

"And yet, I still miss you," you smile up at him.

One of his hands rests on your lower back and he leans down, bringing his lips to yours. Your fingers gripping the fabric of his black dress shirt, you may have seen him a few times today but this is the first time you've kissed him since you left his room this morning.

"I should have you reassigned as my case agent," Loki offers with a smirk. "Then you will be stuck with me."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" you ask, raising your eyebrow.

"A bit of both I imagine," he jokes. "I need to finish up a few things and then we can get dinner," he says, letting go of you to walk back towards his desk.

"Take your time, I'm gonna go for a short run," you say, adjusting your backpack to hint that your running clothes are inside.

"I wish you wouldn't," his playful tone vanishing instantly as he faces you again.

"I'll be fine," you wave off his concern like you always do. "The park is only a few blocks from here and it's not even dark yet."

"It will be dark by the time you are finished. Why can't you use the incredibly large, state of the art gym Stark is constantly raving about? It seems to be good enough for the super soldiers," he tries harder than usual to sell you the idea of the gym.

"You know I hate running inside. Treadmills are so boring, I feel like a hamster," you try not to whine but you're tired of having this conversation.

He chuckles at your reference and shakes his head. "They do have a track," he suggests even though he knows you dislike that too.

"Loki, it's sweet that you worry about me but you don't need to. I'll make it short, just half an hour," you walk slowly towards him but he seems unconvinced. "Then a quick shower and I'll be all yours," you put your arms around his neck and look up at him.

"All mine?" he asks, his smirk returning as his hands settle on your waist, pulling you close to him.

You giggle and hold eye contact with Loki, "Yep, all yours."

He leans down to kiss you, his hands keeping your body flush to his as his lips move against yours. When you break the kiss he touches your cheek lightly and says, "I will always worry about you, love. Please be safe and enjoy your run."

You check your watch for the third time and although it's already 5:45, it seems as if this meeting will never come to an end. It's your seventh and thankfully final meeting of the day but you aren't sure how much longer you can sit here for. Another hour later, Steve finally dismisses everyone and you head straight to the locker rooms in the gym. All you can think about is going outside, listening to music and running as hard as you can to let go of the stress that has built up throughout the day.

You get changed quickly then call Loki on speaker phone while putting on your sneakers. "Hello darling," he answers, the usual excitement you hear is missing from his voice.

"Hi Loki," you reply and take him off speaker as you get up from the bench. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, sorry it's just been a very long day," he replies.

"Same," you tell him, checking that your keys and wallet are in your bag before putting it into the locker. "Do you want to get dinner when I'm back from my run?"

"You're going for a run now?" he asks. "It's almost 7."

You turn back suddenly and open the locker again to retrieve the gift Loki gave you last week, slipping it into your hoodie's pocket as you leave the room. "I know it's late but that last meeting went way over. Steve asked if anyone had questions and Scott had a ton, most of which were completely off topic of course," you complain, rolling your eyes. "It'll be short I promise. I just need to be outside for a bit."

"Y/N, just skip it tonight," he insists, sounding more annoyed than worried. "It's already dark."

"The park has lights," you reply quickly. You walk to the elevators and zip up your thin hoodie.

"I'm tired of you fighting me on this. Just run in the gym," his tone is stern, making it sound like an order not a suggestion.

"I don't like to run inside. You know that so stop telling me to do it," you feel aggravated by the conversation and his attitude towards you. When the elevator arrives you get in and tell him, "I'll be back in an hour, you can eat without me if you don't want to wait."

"I don't care about what time we eat, I care about you listening to me," he says firmly.

"I am listening to you but you aren't listening to me," you counter, your voice raising to match his. "You don't get it. I spend all day sitting at a desk staring at a computer screen, the window in my office doesn't even open. I need to go outside. I want to feel the breeze and see the sky so I can unwind."

"You are being ridiculous," he says, you can tell he is not going to give up his side of the argument any time soon.

"Seriously, I'm the one being ridiculous?" you ask as you reach the ground floor.

"Yes. What would you prefer? That I not worry about you?" he asks.

"Ugh! No, of course not but you can't just force me to stay inside," you try not to scream as you enter the lobby. "Why are you making this so difficult tonight?"

"Fine, I will make it easy for you. You want to run, go run," he says and you stop walking, shocked by his words and harsh tone. "You repeatedly ignore my concerns and dismiss my suggestions without a moment of consideration so why should I continue to voice my thoughts to you? Do whatever you want Y/N, you always do."

Before you can respond, Loki ends the call.

You look down at your phone, gripping it tightly. Your first instinct is to call Loki back and yell at him for hanging up on you, instead you take a deep breath and set your phone to do not disturb. Putting on your headphones, you select one of your favorite playlists and hit shuffle as you step out onto the sidewalk. You feel the cool fall breeze on your face and turn south towards the park.

Jogging slowly, you gradually make the music louder and louder to drown out your racing thoughts and Loki's harsh words. Your headphones beep when you adjust them again to alert you that they have reached their maximum volume. You sigh, leaving them as is for the first time in months, typically you made sure you limited the volume so you could still hear your surroundings but you want to block everything out tonight.

You enter the park from the same entrance as always and when your feet hit the loose gravel you pick up speed. The route you take through the park varies daily, picking random turns and directions based on how crowded it is or which path seems to call to you at the moment. You force away the meetings that filled your day, the piles of paperwork waiting for you in the morning and your fight with Loki. Your mind drifts, focusing on the music blasting through your headphones, the ground under your feet and how hard you are breathing in the brisk air.

Unfortunately, what you are not focused on is the three men who have been following you since your last turn.

Loki gets up from his couch and paces back and forth with his phone in his hand. You have only been gone for ten minutes but he knew the second he hung up that he had made a terrible mistake. He sighs, running his fingers through his hair then he texts you.

<I'm so sorry I spoke to you like that and I never should have hung up on you. I did not mean to start a fight. Can we talk when you get back? Please be safe.>

He hits send and stares at the screen waiting for you to reply. He knows your headphones can read you text messages and you always responded back using the voice to text function. It never failed to make him laugh, the texts you replied with were usually just a bit off since your phone could never quite understand you while you were running.

Another ten minutes pass without a reply from you so he tries again.

There was another reason he grew to like the voice to text function, you always responded immediately. You know how much he worries about you, so being able to quickly tell him where you were or when you were coming back put him at ease.

He sits heavily on his couch and after only two minutes pass, he stands up and calls you. Pacing again, he listens to it ring once then go directly to voicemail. His stomach drops instantly, you had either declined his call the second it rang or your phone was off.

He shakes his head, knowing your phone would never be off, you always listened to music when you ran. He calls you a second time but again it goes straight to voicemail. He doesn't bother to leave you a message, instead he leaves his room and heads down the hall as he tries for a third time to reach you.

"Thor, I need your help," Loki says with a touch of panic in his voice when he reaches the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Thor asks, turning from his snack on the island.

"Y/N went for a run and she's not answering me," he tells his brother.

"Did you do something stupid?" Tony jokes as he closes the fridge.

"Yes, but that is not the point," Loki snaps, turning towards him. Tony's smile fades when he sees how serious Loki is. "She always answers, always. Something is wrong, I know it."

"Alright, just calm down," Tony says, trying to hide his growing concern. "She's probably just mad at you for whatever it is you did. Let me call her." Loki nods, hoping Tony is right but after only a few seconds, he looks at his phone and shakes his head. "She didn't answer," he confirms Loki's fear.

"J.A.R.V.I.S.," he wakes up the computer system in the Tower, "Get me a location for Y/N's phone now."

"Searching," it responds, Loki holds his breath nervously as it works. A moment later it answers, "The last known location for Y/N's phone is from 10 minutes ago. I cannot find a current location. The device has been switched off."

"No, she wouldn't do that," Loki insists, looking at his brother. "We need to find her."

"We will," Thor assures him, resting a hand on his shoulder to try and calm him.

"J.A.R.V.I.S., get the team down here. We have an emergency," Tony tells the computer system. "Bring up a map of the park and Y/N's last known location. Overlay that with the route she takes when she runs." A large holographic map of the park appears in the air in front of Tony as he talks to the program.

"She takes a different route each time," Loki interrupts Tony and he nods.

"Ok, use the data from her phone's history to show the last three weeks on the map," he corrects himself. "Maybe we can see a pattern in where she runs, it would help us find her quicker than searching the whole damn park."

The team enters the park from the same entrance you use every day and then they quickly make their way towards your last known location. Thor and Loki turn south while Steve and Tony head north, calling your name as they move down each path. Clint, Scott and Natasha take the trail that leads east. SHIELD agents spilt off to show your picture to people in the park in the hopes that someone saw you.

"Loki, look," Thor stops suddenly and points to a thin trail of blood droplets.

"Y/N!" Loki calls again as they both pick up their pace, following the blood trail deeper into the park. The blood drops continue across the gravel and Loki's heart begins to pound wildly in his chest as they approach one of the stone tunnels. Just before the entrance to the underground pathway is a small pool of blood and Loki nearly trips at the sight of it under one of the street lights.

The two brothers slow their pace cautiously and Loki calls for you once more as they enter the tunnel. "Gods, she's here!" Loki tells Thor who immediately radios everyone your location and tells them they need to send the medical team.

Loki kneels next to your unconscious body, terrified that the blood they had followed is yours. He checks you carefully for injuries but you don't appear to be bleeding.

He breaths a small sigh of relief when you blink your eyes open and mumble, "Loki."

"I'm here," he whispers to you, your eyes briefly focus on him. "You're safe now, we're going to take you home." You try to nod but slowly slip back into unconsciousness. His hand moves to hold yours and he sees the small dagger he had given you still clutched tightly in your hand. The tip is covered in blood, but not yours and Loki is thankful for that.

You open your eyes slowly, unsure of where you are for a moment, the room seems so bright. You blink a few times until the room comes into focus, you realize your in the infirmary back at the Tower. Someone squeezes your hand gently and turn your head to see Loki sitting on a chair next to the bed.

"Hello darling," he says quietly. He smiles but you can see his eyes are full of worry. "How are you feeling?" You try to sit up and he puts his hand carefully on your shoulder to help. "Slowly," he tells you and you nod which causes the room to spin momentarily. "You don't have a concussion but Strange said you may be dizzy still from being knocked unconscious," he tells you when you close your eyes.

"What happened?" you open your eyes and ask instead of answering his initial question. Your memory of the night is filled with holes, fuzzy images and disconnected voices. The last thing you remember clearly was Loki hanging up on you in anger.

You watch nervously as his jaw tightens before he answers, "You were attacked in the park." You look away from him, feeling a wave of mixed emotions hit you at once. "There were three of them, we think. They stole your phone. J.A.R.V.I.S. is still sifting through the security footage from around the park, there were no cameras in the section where I found you," he says.

You don't respond to the knowledge that you had been attacked in the one place you felt most relaxed in the city. Slowly, you pull your hand free from Loki's as your thoughts begin to race. He had been right, you realize.

"Y/N, look at me, please," he says, trying to get your attention.

"Why?" you ask, looking up, your memory of his last words to you blend with your own negative thoughts. "So you can tell me that I should have listened to you? Fine, you were right. I'm just some weak human and I can't protect myself. Are you happy now?"

He touches your arm and you fight the urge to pull away again. "Y/N, how could you possibly think this would make me happy? I never wished for you to be hurt. This isn't a game and it is not some sort of win for me," he tells you and you can hear the hurt in his voice.

"You did win though, cause now I'll never run there again. I'll use the stupid gym like you always tell me to," you inform him, crossing your arms against your chest. You uncross them and look at your hands for the first time since you woke up, seeing a few small bruises forming along your knuckles. You raise your hand to lightly touch where your cheek is the most painful and Loki stops you, taking your hand carefully in his.

"You have quite a substantial bruise there, it will take a few weeks to heal," he tells you. "You didn't need any stitches though," he adds. "Your ribs and back have bruises as well, so it may hurt to sit up or lay down for the time being. Thankfully you don't have any severe injuries, Strange assured me that you only need rest and you will feel better in a few days."

While he describes your injuries, you let him continue to hold your hand but you avoid his eyes. "That's good," you mumble in response.

"You will be running again in no time," he says encouragingly.

"Loki, just stop it. I'm tired. Please, just say you told me so and get it over with so I can rest," you tell him.

He sighs, "No." You slowly lift your head then he continues, "I cannot describe the sheer panic I felt when I couldn't reach you. My worst fear is that something might happen to you while you are away from me and then it did and..." his voice trails off and he takes a deep breath.

"I was not right about anything," he tells you.

"What do you mean?" you ask.

"We both know you will be unhappy running inside," he says and you nod in agreement.

"I didn't realize how much running through the park means to you, especially after such a long day. I know you need it to unwind and calm you, I shouldn't have kept trying to change that part of you. The last thing I want is for you to give up something you love because of me," he tells you. "Or because of those pathetic mortals who hurt you."

"At least I would be safe running in the gym," you feel like giving up.

"So what am I supposed to do?" you ask him.

Loki is quiet for a few moments then he smiles and offers, "How about I run with you?"

"You hate running," you laugh and it makes your side ache.

"I do," he quickly agrees, "But I like you."

You pretend to be surprised, "You like me?"

"Very, very much," he clarifies and kisses your forehead.

"I appreciate the offer but it will be no fun if you're miserable," you say, squeezing his hand. "And stop making me laugh, it hurts."

You laugh again, holding your side in pain and smack his arm lightly. "Are you kidding? Do you know how fast they jog? At a full sprint I wouldn't be able to keep up."

"Sorry," he kisses the back of your hand. "How about you take a super soldier with you? They seem to enjoy it."

"You already gave me one of these," you remind him.

"Fair point," he says then he is quiet again and you can almost see his mind working to come up with a solution. "How about this?" He holds out his hand and a small dagger with a black leather handle appears in a flash of green light.

"Yes and from what we can tell so far, you used it exceptionally well," he praises you, making you blush.

"I think I did okay for having no idea what I was doing," you respond.

"Which is why I want to train you on how to use it properly. And I need you to promise that you will always answer me when you are running."

"I can do that," you smile and he smiles in return. "Now I need you to do one thing for me."

"Anything, darling," he promises.

"Can you hold me?" you ask. "I really am very tired."

"Of course," he answers. He carefully climbs onto the bed next to you and you rest your head on his shoulder. He kisses the top of your head and you close your eyes. "I'm so glad you are okay," he says then he waves his hand to turn off the brightest of the over head lights. He pulls the sheet up to cover you better and you snuggle against him as best you can without hurting your side.

You listen to Loki's slow, steady breathing and feel yourself drifting off quickly. His fingers run slowly through your hair and for the first time in your relationship, he whispers, "I love you."

You smile against his shoulder and whisper back, "I love you, too."

The next afternoon Loki leaves the Tower and begins the twenty minute walk south, following the directions he received from J.A.R.V.I.S. He enters the apartment building and climbs the five flights with his fists clenched. Checking the address again, he turns left down the hall, looking around at the peeling paint and worn carpet. He pauses in front of the door at the end of the hall, listening to the raised voices inside.

"Here's your cut," a man with deep voice says. "I know it's not much but that's all I could get for the phone."

"This is bullshit," someone else responds. "All those tourists and we jump the only person who didn't even have a wallet."

A third voice complains, "I still think I should get more than you two idiots. That bitch stabbed me and I'm only gonna get fifty freaking bucks."

Loki's dark green dress shirt and black pants are replaced by his leather armor and gold horned crown in a cloud of green smoke. The man tries to slam the door shut but Loki catches it easily with one hand. Your attacker backs into the apartment and Loki follows slowly.

A smile slowly spreads across Loki's lips, knowing that he is in the right place. He knocks on the door and waits. A tall, thin man opens it, his attention focused on the other men inside still talking. "Shut up," the one at the door says then he turns to Loki and he goes still in an instant.

Once inside, he slams the door shut with a wave of his hand as the other two men get up. "What the fu-" one of them starts to ask but Loki shakes his head and silences him.

"You three hurt someone I care for very deeply, and that simply won't do," he says. The green glow from his magic seeps out from under the door and out into the hallway.

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @foxherder @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-ofthe-pages @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv

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fandomnerd9602 · 5 months ago

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Y/N, a Deadpool variant, slides up to Daisy…

Y/N: hey gorgeous you seem stressed. what do you say you and me find a quiet place to help you decompress?

Daisy: Pool, you realize the risk right?

Y/N: what risk?

Daisy: if you give me too great of an O, I might kill you with my powers.

Y/N: if I died making you feel like you hit cloud nine, that would be a worthy death!

Daisy rolls her eyes and drags Y/N somewhere a little more private

For @scarletquake-n7

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tremendouscreationperson · 4 months ago

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Bucky x Agent!Reader imagine

“-vac! Anyone out there?!” You frowned automatically as the tinny voice yelled. The voice wasn't directly in your ear, it was further away causing the frown to deepen. Why was it further away? Why was-shit!!

Your eyes blink open as a searing hot pain shot through you. Lighting your right side ablaze with red hot flames.

An involuntary noise tumbled out of your mouth as you attempted to move your hands. Attempted to work out what was happening. Your movements weren't in your best interest but you needed to know what was causing such pain.

“I am in need of urgent evac, making my way to point A!”

You felt your side and it was warm. Warm and sticky. Shit. You didn't have to see your palms to know but in a naive moment you forced one into your line of sight. Red and dripping.

The hand fell back at your side and you took in the surrounding area. Directly in front of you was a ceiling, oh that made sense, you were lying on your back. Of course. You were on a mission, how could you forget?

“ETA to evac point 2 minutes.” The voice called again. It was to your left. In the fight you had lost the earpiece. Your movements were clumsy but you quickly retrieved the com without pulling on your side too much.

“‘ucky?” a cough. “‘ucky.” You tried but your mouth couldn't form the letter ‘b’. How pathetic.

“Thank god, sweet girl.” The sounds of him huffing - clearly running - and gunshots behind him were now clearer as the piece sat snugly in your ear. It sat better than ever now it was covered in a sticky substance. “I was worried the team had left me.”

Team? Oh that was right. There was a team of highly skilled agents and you were their connection to SHIELD. You were their escape route. You needed to move.

“Where- where are they?”

“I don't know. No one's been on this line since 22:00.”

You took a deep breath. That was before the altercation. You'd been set up in this radio tower to feed information to the team, to tell them when the guards were changing, if they had upgraded any of their weapons, your job was basically to sit back and wait. To try to help if needed.

And then they noticed you. They noticed doors were being unlocked and machines were powered down. A trio came looking for you. Two were downed in the hall, because you'd heard on their radio frequency that they were coming but the third managed to get in. Managed to get you on the ground in a scramble. Clearly managed to get you in the side. It didn't feel like a gunshot but you don't recall a knife. Speaking of - where is he? Your head rolled to the left - a broken window and rotting wall - and then the right - the edge of the ancient console - and then you extended your neck to see he was slumped behind.

Thank god, you were in no condition to fight.

“Evac point A is overrun.”

That was twice now you'd forgotten you were here to do a job.

“Has SHIELD made contact? Where's the jet?”

Had they? “Unclear. I'll try to connect again.”

Fuck. Why couldn't you have landed closer to the console?

“I'll need to go to evac point B.” He called over the sound of an explosion. “What's the best route?”

You cried out as you attempted to roll onto your side. “You'll.. you'll have to find cover and wait for me. I don't know the best- they've got bases at all sides I need to-”

“Cover?” He roared in disbelief.

“I can't presently give you the information you need.” You panted, psyching yourself up to roll again.

“Wh-are you okay?” The juxtaposition in his tone was almost laughable.

“Fine.” You grit your teeth and flop gracefully over. “The- the console’s ‘eing funny.”

He was silent for a few beats but did eventually speak, “radio silence ‘til I say.” Then the line was dead.

That was fine by you. Allowed you the opportunity to be as pathetic with your movements as possible. The console being no more than three meters away but felt as though it was three football stadiums.

You panted and cursed and yelled, sweat poured down your temples and mixed with your tears and spit.

It only occurred to you when you were a quarter of the way there that you could die here. You likely would. Bucky would be the last person you spoke to.

Now the radio silence was a curse.

You didn't want to die alone.

No.

No, you wouldn't die.

Not here.

Fuck them!

Fuck everyone!

You weren't going to die in this shithole.

You crawled slowly to the console with a quiet fire lighting the way. You were no quicker but were now fueled by spite.

Each stretch of your arm pulled at your side and then you had to drag your body forward which pinched it.

Your eyes scanned the floor and you sent a silent prayer to anyone that would listen: please don't let there be anything deadly on the ground. It was covered in glass, debris and mixed blood, there were bullet shells and open wires.

Your com crackled to life and you jumped, silently screaming at the tugging sensation.

“How's the console?” He whispered into your ear.

Within reach was the real answer. Fuck him. He knew. “Yeah, still here. Still being funny.” At least you could pronounce “being” correctly.

“Any news on the evac?” His tone was still hushed.

“Where are you?” You hauled yourself closer.

“In a tree.” The laugh that erupted from your gut was worth all the pain. “Shut up.” He warned but you could tell he was smiling.

You were now there. At the console. Fingers brushing the base.

But this was the hard part.

“Bear with me a sec.” You muttered as you hoisted your torso up. It took a few attempts but you eventually sat on your butt.

You were able to reach the old school com. They had it connected to bulky headphones and the mic didn't really work but you'd try. You have to.

Flipping whatever was in reach you eventually set the dial to the right frequency and begged.

“Ramirez? Connor? Hardy? Sillett? Boswell?” The line stayed dead after you repeated every name. You groaned, changing the frequency. “Coming in. SHIELD. We have a code 445. Need emergency evac at point B.”

Silence.

“Anything doll?” Bucky prompted.

“No.” Your eyes flickered across the console. There were bullet holes, old and new, some dials were present and others had missing knobs, only a few lights actually worked. It had been fine earlier, well no but it was usable! The fucker that got you must've shot at it as well. “Pretty sure it's dead.” You caught something. “Wait, mayb- I can try that.”

You pulled the chair you'd previously abandoned closer and attempted to use it to stand. The legs skidded across the floor and you went with it.

“Hey what's happening?” He asked after hearing you curse.

“Just shshsh.” You try again and instead of landing on your face you’re able to sit on the rickety chair. “I'm remembering morse code.”

“Mors- we're dead.” He let out a humorless laugh as you fiddled with the connections, it looked like it was the only working thing in this tower.

“You'll be alright.” You tapped the key forming a simple sentence and hoped to god the right person would hear. ‘SHIELD. URGENT EVAC B. SHIELD. URGENT EVAC B.’

You continuously tapped the message - zoning out from your surroundings out of boredom or blood loss - forgetting yourself but Bucky coughed and you were sucked back into the room. Back into the mission. “I think I s-saw some old maps earlier, I can try and help with t’ route.”

He let out a sigh. “How bad are you hit?”

Fuck. “Well it's no’ great.” Taaap. Tap. Tap.

“Any response?”

“Not presently.” Your eyelids were getting heavy now. It was difficult to keep them open. Why did you need them open? “There's always someone down in the dungeon, waiting for secret messages.”

He huffed in response. You were right, there usually was some poor bastard in the bunker listening for telegrams and mapping crop circles.

The weight of your eyelids had transferred to your forehead. Your neck struggled to keep it upright. It would be easier if you could just rest it, just place it delicately on the console, and then you can focus all your energy on the message.

“You could try north.” You muttered, fighting the internal battle to stay upright.

“North?”

“The bases are more spora’ic up north.” Cough. “More cover.” Tap. Tap. Tap. Taaap.

“Where are your coordinates?”

As if your brain could calculate that. “I do- I think west.” Tap. Tap.

That was weird. When he sighed you could feel it. You frown and raise your head.

Oh.

He was sitting next to you on your sofa. In your home. Wearing a black tee and gray tracksuit bottoms.

“I think I could get to you.” He nodded more to himself than you. “I'm sure of it.” His hair was clean and tied back with one of your old scrunchies.

“I don't see how.”

“I'm not leaving you behind.” He vowed, his hand covering your own. You knew realistically you were tapping your fingers on the key but his warm digits felt so real, so true.

“Just. Just distract me?” You couldn't add 'from my imminent death' but you could force a weak smile. “Please.”

“I don't know if I can.” His jaw set but you could see the debate in his eyes.

“Please Bucky.”

“I would've taken you dancing.” He looked as shocked as you felt when the words came out, but he eased into them. “If I met you in the 40s. I would've loved to take you dancing.”

That sounded amazing. Dancing with him.

“I wasn't amazing at the jive but I bet with you as a partner we'd be killer.”

“Cat's pajamas.” You must've blinked because he was now clean shaven and his hair was cropped, he wore a button down shirt and slacks. But he was still Bucky. Still your friend.

“Yeah.” He eagerly agreed. “We'd have met at Sal's, got a coke and you'd have decided to take me up on the dancing offer. Or we'd have gone to the fair. I loved the Ferris wheels.” His eyes left yours and he was lost in thought. “I don't think I'd like them any more.”

Heights.

He didn't like heights.

He dealt with them but he didn't like them.

You'd had many conversations about his fears, trying to help him cope with his new reality but he never quite got over heights.

“We could dance now.” You muttered to distract him. “We could find somewhere to danc’.”

“You'd wanna go dancing with me?” One eyebrow twitched and he had a coy smirk.

You let out a hum in affirmative before mumbling a very low, “always.”

“I don't know why I haven't thought to ask you. I-” He cut himself off. “You’ve always been the one. You're my partner in and out of missions. You're my best friend. Even when I was shitty and awful and I didn't want you to be. Yo- I'm only here because of you.” His blue eyes came back to you, and they were glittering. The whites, a vague pink color illuminating the blue even further.

You felt his hand on yours tighten but it was different. It was hard. Consistent. Like a heartbeat. Like-

“Bucky they responded!” You jolt up from the console and zoned in on the letters.

‘D. 3.20. M-E-E-T. U-P. P-O-I-N-T. C-O-N-F-I-R-M-E-D.’

“Bucky, get to number B!” You ordered. “They're coming. You have about 40 minutes.”

“What about you?” He hadn't moved. You knew he hadn't. He was far too stubborn. “Where is your location?”

“I'm in t’ tower.” The words came out slurred. Wow. You really hadn't realized how much energy staying alive took. Now your job was done, maybe you could rest.

“But the others checked- you can't still be in the same tower?”

“‘ingo.”

“That doesn't mak-”

“37 minutes.” You breathily corrected the earlier statement. “Now, 35.”

“Just-”

“Please.” Your voice was smaller than you hoped. “I don't want you to-” gulp. “-aswell. Please just be safe.”

“But they checked the tower. The last message was that it was empty!” He was climbing now, you could tell. His breathing had changed.

“‘aybe it wasn't ‘em.” If you could shrug you would've. “No r'ponse since.”

“I'm going to evac point B and then I'm coming with the jet to you.”

“Wha’ woul’ we have danced to?” The words were so jumbled and far too quiet but he understood.

“Anything you wanted, baby.”

You hum.

“Y/N?"

"Y/N!"

#marvel #bucky #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky buchanan #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #the winter soldier #james barnes #imagine #agent!reader #shield #shield agents

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autism-swagger · 5 months ago

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I think one of the most heartbreaking things about season 5 is that we find out that time can, in fact, be changed, and that the future isn't set in stone, which means that Daisy could have succeeded in saving Charles Hinton in season 3, and that Lincoln didn't have to die.

#imagine being Daisy and realizing that #oh it'd be so over for me #Daisy tag #og fandom post tag #agents of shield #daisy johnson

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upat4amwiththemoon · 1 year ago

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I love you

Summary: Two kinds of love.

Pairing: Daisy Johnson x female!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 1623

a/n: friends to lovers trope! There are still tropes without characters :)

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore

masterlists | guidelines

“Hi, babe!” Y/N squeals as she walks into the communal area, finally back at the base with her teammates after a long mission. “I missed you so much, you don’t even understand.” She walks straight to Daisy, ignoring everyone else in the room.

“You’re home!” Daisy jumps up from the couch, abandoning the shooter game she was playing with Mack.

The two laugh as they pull each other into a big embrace. They’re acting as if no one else is in the room, which makes the others either roll their eyes playfully or share a knowing smirk amongst one another.

“How was the mission?” Daisy holds one of her hands on Y/N’s waist, not wanting to let go of her now that she is finally near.

Y/N shrugs with a small smile. “It was fine.” She is still wearing her suit, but she really wanted to see the others—Daisy to be more specific—before cleaning herself up. “May and I kicked their asses.” She punches the air while doing sound effects.

Jemma walks over to the duo, interrupting their giggling, “do the rest of get a hug or is it just Daisy?” She asks with a smile.

“Shut up.” Y/N pulls Jemma into a tight hug. “I missed all of you.”

“Equally?” Bobbi smirks, her brow raised, as she looks at the from the kitchen side of the room.

“Now, now,” she tilts her head, looking back at Bobbi with a grin, “lets not get too far ahead of ourselves.” Y/N turns to Daisy and kisses her cheek. “I’m going to get cleaned up. I love you!”

“I love you.” Daisy says after her while staring at her back as she walks away from the common room. She has a wide smile on her face even after she is gone.

Sitting back to the couch and picking up the console, she starts playing the game with Mack again. Jemma and Bobbi are in the kitchen area making dinner for the whole team.

“So,” Mack starts, keeping his eyes on the game, “when are you two going public?”

“Huh?” Daisy’s attention gets completely taken off the screen, which causes her character to die. Mack lets out a groan, but she pays no mind to it. “What do you mean?”

He looks at her with his brows raised. He is trying to see if Daisy is being serious. “With your relationship?”

“We’re just friends.”

Mack squints his eyes. “You expect me to believe that?”

“We are! I don’t know where you got the idea of us being together.” She mumbles, but there is an uncertainty to her voice. Is there something else between them? Seeing the conflict on her face, Mack decides to drop the subject and continue the game in silence.

Daisy paces around her room, brows scrunched up and lips raw from the force she is biting them. Her mind is all over the place. She doesn’t know what to think about the situation between her and Y/N. They’ve always been close, they hit it off instantly when they met, and ever since then, they’ve been practically inseparable.

She thinks over every interaction they’ve had during the years. She is trying to search how they could have made their relationship seem romantic without meaning to. Sure, they’re always attached by the hip, and have said they’d never be able to live without the other, going as far as promising they’ll have free reign over each other’s houses if they ever move out of the SHIELD base. But every best friend does these kind of things. It’s not abnormal for them to seek out physical contact with each other, or spend more time huddled together in one bed rather than sleeping in their own ones. Friends call each other cute pet names and say I love you multiple times a day.

Pausing, Daisy closes her eyes. She tries, she really tries to assure herself they’re just friends. That there are things all friends do.

But she doesn’t do these things with anyone else than Y/N. She doesn’t call Bobbi babe, or hold Jemma’s hand whenever they go outside, or sit impossibly close to Mack when they play games.

Y/N isn’t just a friend to her.

She really loves her.

Daisy goes out to the hallway, starting her quest of finding Y/N, so she can talk to her immediately. She peeks into few different rooms, all of them empty. She tries to rack her brain if Y/N mentioned having another mission, but she shouldn’t, not so soon after the last one.

Soon enough, she bumps into Jemma. “Do you know where Y/N is?”

Her eyes turns wide as she takes in the urgency in Daisy’s voice. “Last time I saw her she was going to the locker room, pretty sure she is about to go grocery shopping with Bobbi. Is everything okay?”

The question doesn’t get heard by Daisy, as she is already half across the hallway, practically running towards the locker room.

She barges into the room, scaring Y/N and making her drop the shirt she was about to put on. “Sorry!” Daisy turns around immediately when she notices the amount of bare skin visible, her cheeks flushing red, as if she has never seen Y/N naked before.

“Jesus, Dais.” Y/N lets out a breathe, calming down now that there is no immeasurable threat to fight. She picks up her shirt and pulls it on. “What’s going on?” Giggling quietly, she picks up her bag, slightly put off by Daisy’s behavior.

“Nothing.” She presses her eyes shut, cursing at herself for losing all of her composure in front of Y/N. “Just wanted to say hi, and…add stuff to the grocery list before you leave.”

“Okay.” Y/N stares at Daisy’s back, she still hasn’t turned back around. “What did you want to add?” Her voice is soft and her eyes study her friend as they start walking out of the room.

“Candy?”

The word comes out more of a question rather than a statement, which makes Y/N give Daisy a weirded out look. She hums, slowly nodding. “Pretty sure candy is already on the list.”

“Right, Hunter.” Daisy clears her throat. Of course, candy is already on the grocery list, it’s the first thing Hunter writes on it every time the empty shopping list appears on the fridge door.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, sorry, I think I’m just tired.” She lets out a forced laugh.

Y/N can see right through her, they both know this, but fortunately for Daisy, she decides to let it go. “Okay. Well, I have to go or Bobbi will leave with out me.” She gives her a playful roll of her eyes and a grin.

“I love you.” Daisy says as she stops walking.

“I love you too!” Y/N has a wide smile on her face while she continues making her way towards the door.

However, Daisy grabs her hand, not letting her leave. “No I-“ she hesitates, not sure if this is a good moment for a confession or if she really has the bravery to do it, “I love you.”

“Oh.” She stands there, furrowing her brows while she looks at Daisy, who is giving her a very peculiar look. Y/N’s mind works overtime as she tries to think why Daisy would have to repeat the sentence they’ve told each other multiple times be- “Oh.” Her eyes widen in recognition.

“Yeah.” Her voice is quiet.

The two stand there, looking at each other, Daisy’s hand still holding onto Y/N’s arm. Neither of them know what to think or to do in a situation like this. Daisy’s hands are shaking, and her heart feels like it’s beating out of her chest from the nervousness she is feeling.

“I think I feel the same.” Y/N whispers. She is looking at the ground, her brows furrowed together and lips slightly parted.

“Really?”

The way Daisy’s voice gets a pitch higher when it’s full of hope and happiness makes Y/N smile. She does love her. She always has, but she has never been brave enough to face those feelings. “Yeah.” She laughs, a sudden surge of giddiness overcoming her body.

Daisy pulls her closer by the arm she is holding, and smashes their lips together. The feeling is better either of them could’ve ever hoped for. Their bodies are melting together, like they’re meant to be, and maybe they are.

They pull away, breathless and smiling, still staying close to each other. “I think I want to do that again.” Daisy states, her eyes fluttering open when Y/N’s forehead meets hers.

“No one is stopping you.”

At that, Daisy pulls her back in, moving her arms to Y/N’s hips, holding onto them tightly so she’d never be able to get away.

“No PDA in the hallways!” Bobbi’s sudden loud voice makes the two jump away from each other. Their wide eyes meet Bobbi’s slightly disgusted ones, she is trying to shield her eyes with her hand. “Is it over?” When she hears quiet and embarrassed mumbles, Bobbi crosses her arms over her chest. “I am very happy you two finally decided to stop pining after each other, but we were supposed to leave fifteen minutes ago, Y/N.”

“Sorry.” She tilts her head to the side with a small smile. “I got, sidetracked.”

“I saw it.”

“I’ll see you later?” Y/N looks at Daisy.

“Yeah, my room.” She whispers so Bobbi won’t hear.

Y/N nods, kisses her cheek, and jogs over to Bobbi, finally ready to go grocery shopping. “I love you!”

“I love you too!”

175 notes · View notes

anika-ann · 1 year ago

Text

Back and Forth - part 1

Part 1 - Snap Back

Type: series; agent!reader, inhuman!reader

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word Count: 7400

Chapter summary:

In which the mission goes to hell and you and Steve clash. Again.

Series masterlist

Warnings: blood, canon-typical violence, mention of gunshot wounds, hints of unhealthy relationship to pain, mention of death, some angst

A/N: ALWAYS MIND THE WARNINGS; dividers by @firefly-graphics 💕; moodboard is for the vibes and does not necessarily reflect reader’s appearance

Steve Rogers was a very large man. Over two hundred pounds of muscle, over six feet three tall, he towered and loomed and hovered above everything and everyone. And yet, his body seemed too small to contain the huge ball of righteous anger, too small to contain the magnitude of the jerk he was being at the moment.

It must have been one of his greatest talents.

And you understood. You understood why he was pacing around, his face the perfect storm with lightning flashing from his eyes, his voice thundering; the mission was a failure, fire and destruction left behind without the important data retrieved. Hell, you understood a little too well how much of that was your fault therefore he had every right to be angry with you.

And yet. Yet, you couldn’t comprehend how that supposedly righteous man spitted around words full of rage when he was to blame himself too.

He was the one to pull you out. He was the one to shake you and break your concentration before your spectre, able to waltz behind locked doors without a key, could deliver the drive to another agent. He was the one to make you snap back, your astral projection dissipating.

Yes, your spectre had been barely walking. Yes, it had got shot in the gut and you really damn felt it. Yes, you – it, really – had been hanging on a tread, with you already at peace with the fact that once you’d snap back, you’d wake up in a hospital bed, because your body wouldn’t handle the strain. Yes, maybe you would have failed anyway, snapping back before you could do what you were supposed to. But now you’d never know, would you?

Because Steven Grant Rogers, Mr. Captain America with the ego of the size of his very moniker, couldn’t have handled you straying from his explicit order to get out earlier.

You were still shaky on your feet, barely having beaten your dizziness and having been walking the fine line of consciousness for way too long, hurting like hell the whole time, but good god, did you have the energy to fight that blonde disaster screaming you down. Especially since he was doing so in front of everyone as you remained seated on the stretcher and kept pulling at the i.v. with custom-made saline to get it from your arm and make the situation at least a bit less humiliating for you.

The audacity. The audacity it had to take for him to call you reckless and scold you for not disappearing faster despite the fact there had been another set of files that caught you eye and needed to be copied. His utter confidence that his plan was as flawless as the first kiss in the early era Taylor Swift songs; confidence that you would have got out safely and the Hydra agent would have never caught you off guard if you just listened to your Captain.

Well fuck your Captain.

You knew you were a failure. You knew that in the end, you were to blame for not getting the intel out in time before the base blown up, the flash drive lying somewhere in the corridor abandoned. Tony Stark might like to tell you that with your abilities defied the basic laws of physics, namely the law of conservation of matter and energy, but you didn’t defy them that much. You couldn’t carry things back by simply grabbing them as the spectre and snapping back to your real body; you had tried countless times, but that wasn’t how things worked, even if you wanted them to – and surely Captain Rogers did as well.

But he was the one to make you snap back. And he was able to do that, because despite the poorly masked hate he appeared to feel towards you at times, he still often made the strategic decision to be the one protecting your actual body; your paraconscious, softly levitating body, completely vulnerable to an attack. Apparently, he was the only one who could be trusted to do it after all.

Whoever called him a golden boy and actually meant it had to be an idiot.

“You should have let me do it! I would have been able to get it to Lincoln or someone else!” you argued, hands pushing at the stretcher to stand up at last, wincing at the ghost of a sharp pain tearing at your abdomen. Never mind that, that was nothing new – Rogers’ unsolicited attack and complete lack of accountability were.

He only scoffed at your argument, crossing his arms on his stupidly wide chest. The bragger. The impossible cannot-do-wrong arse-

“Would you? You were going to pass out! I know the signs by now-”

“So what?!”

“So what?!” he echoed on full volume, throwing his arm out just as wildly as the whole tantrum. “I carried you out of there because you couldn’t walk!”

How dared he-

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you feigned regret, lowering your voice as you finally managed to rise to your feet. “I must have been such a terrible imposition to your superstrength!”

“That’s not the problem and you know it!”

Then what was his problem, you wanted to ask, but you knew that question was futile. You knew the answer already and it was annoyingly fitting to a considerably newer Talor Swift song: it was you. You were the problem he had. And the even bigger problem was that he couldn’t have you delivered back express to Coulson, because lately it seemed this team needed someone with the ability to project more than the new SHIELD did. He was stuck with you; with your apparently incapable ass.

“Do I?!” you questioned. “Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t just walk off a massive blood loss!”

Rogers winced as you spitted out the words; good. Maybe he’d think twice before yelling at you next time when the Quinjet hadn’t even touched the ground yet and everyone could watch your failure in HD since he served it to them on a silver platter.

You winced too as you breathed in deeply and fresh claws of pain dug into your abdomen again; really not good. But not unusual, even as there was no trace of the bullet wound on your body – because it wasn’t your actual body that got hit, not really. Still, the pain remained.

Yet, that was nothing to stop you from staring at Rogers as he glared at you with hard eyes, leaning forward, jaw so damn tense you might cut yourself on the tendons if you touched it.

“You wouldn’t have suffered-- that if you’d have just followed orders!”

“Oh really?! Get over yourself, oh Mighty Captain!”

“Get over-” he repeated as if he couldn’t comprehend you just said that, breathing in deeply to ground himself and failing spectacularly since his voice was still full of accusation. “You should have brought us intel and instead we have nothing!”

You stepped forward to get your retort across almost as quickly as you felt everything in you recoil in guilt – because Rogers was right. Of course, he was right. And you knew that. You wanted to scream and cry and throw up and take a damn nap or maybe just wake up from this fucked up dream but you couldn’t, could you?

You could barely do anything.

“Well, I’m sorry! Okay?! I couldn’t do it and I’m fucking sorry! I know I fucked up! I should have pushed through more, I know, and you have no idea how pissed I am at me! But maybe I would have been just fine, if--- you shouldn’t have stopped me!”

“I wouldn’t have to snap you back if you just did what you were supposed to do!”

You grinded your teeth. Stupid, big-headed pig-headed supersoldier, if he had had any idea-

“What were you going to say just now?” he demanded, standing even taller than before, the mask of anger and disappointment shifting towards challenge.

Fight me. Yell back. Try telling me I’m wrong, when you know I’m not.

Goddamn him. He was so damn self-assured, so overconfident it would get him killed one day and you’d be there to watch like a useless dumbass, because you couldn’t do the one thing every single agent on this team should do: have your teammates’ back.

But you couldn’t tell him that. You couldn’t.

Your shoulders sagged, exhaustion washing over you.

“Doesn’t matter,” you said, minding your volume even as most Avengers and other agents got the memo and tried to give you as much privacy as possible. Bless that useless gesture. “I told you, I’m sorry. I know I need to learn to push myself more despite the pain when the stakes are high, but it’s…” You caught a flash of a new emotion you couldn’t decipher in his eyes and you looked away, scoffing, frustration flaring up again. “Why am I even telling you, what would you know about that, huh?”

What would the perfectly mighty walk-it-off Captain know about you peasants and your struggles. Ziltch. He was perfection personified, never wrong, never weak, never-

The sharp intake of breath had you snap your gaze back – and your heart stumbled in your chest. One brief glance at him and you regretted your words instantly. For one, you were too well-aware of the fact that they were bullshit. For two, you might as well wave a red cloth in front of an already enraged bull.

Steve Rogers bristled, teeth practically bared like those of an animal; he snarled like one too, but it was the tone that had cut you. The tone said so much more than his actual words and that message was like a muleta for you for a change.

“Is that what you think? You think I don’t feel pain?!”

“Maybe you don’t feel anything at all!” you snapped, throwing your arms up, gritting your teeth and closing your fists at the sharp bite at your belly at the movement. For fuck’s sake- “It sure as hell looks like it to me, to everyone! Especially since you’re yelling at me right now! I know I fucked up but it’s not easy on me either!”

The realization that he was acting like an asshole must have been quick – he froze for but a split second – but the fact he cared little for that was even faster, his counterattack coming in hot.

“Well, allow me to correct you, agent, I do feel pain – and I don’t have the luxury to switch it off when I snap back into my real body because I only have one!”

And you laughed. The burst of sardonic laugh tasted like hysteria on your tongue, actual tears burning in your eyes.

Switch it off. Switch it off as you pleased. God, that was funny. That was hilarious. So hilarious you wanted to cry. You pretended that the palm that you lifted to your face was to muffle the laughter and not to check whether some of your tears didn’t escape.

“Ooooh, ohohohooo, you think being me is so great, don’t you? Walk a mile in my shoes, Captain, we’ll see how you’ll like it!” you spat, laughing again. “But I’m sure you wouldn’t only walk, would you? You’d fucking dance en pointe and throw in a few grands jetés en tournant just for the kicks, huh? Because you are Mr.Perfect!”

Despite your challenging words, his demeanour changed in as if you snapped your fingers and the reason for that had your chest tighten in panic.

He noticed the tears. You could tell because he blinked, eyes suddenly roaming your face, his voice falling so quiet you barely heard it all of sudden; but perhaps that was only due to the ringing in your ears, the pulsing in your temples.

“That’s not--- I didn’t mean to--“

You cared shit about what he meant or didn’t mean at the moment. He saw you weak. Again. Not only you had failed, hadn’t handled the mission physically, now you were falling apart mentally right in front of him.

He was going to bench you. Worse, he was going to send you express to Coulson despite needing someone with your abilities and he would never ask you to join the Avengers again.

Fight. Show him you have the fire. Show him you’ve got what it takes. Don’t let him think you gave up.

“Well guess what, Captain, I feel pain too and I don’t have the luxury to heal in a few seconds!”

“I don’t heal that-“ he objected lowly and that was the last drop. The last drop and you cracked.

“I KNOW, okay?! You heal faster than anyone, but you still need to heal, because you can get hurt and you can get killed!” His eyes went wide and you gulped; he heard your voice break. Fuck. “Even if you don’t act like it, because you’re the mighty Captain, after all-“ you added quickly to divert his attention.

And the distraction worked. Too bad it didn’t work for you, words still spilling since the dam had been broken.

“Would you stop calling me-“

“Not all of us can be perfect soldiers, the ultimate heroes! Not all of us can do what you do, just push through everything! We fail, we hurt and we barely survive only to disappoint people like you!” you cried out.

It was the line about disappointment, you were certain – something in his expression shifted again and this time, all fight left your body for good, something inside you breaking. The new emotion on his face almost looked like compassion and you didn’t need that. You didn’t need the demigod amongst men and women to pity you and feel for you, especially not now. Not now when you didn’t deserve it because he was right and now this? You hadn’t been fast enough and strong enough – and he might have scolded you for in front of everyone, but now it seemed as if he regretted that because he needed to be the bigger person just to be fucking more perfect and you couldn’t bear it. You never could.

There was a reason why you always jumped to defence when he showed disappointment in you.

Your voice came out as but a whisper, but you made sure it was firm one. “I failed. I disappointed you and everyone else, I know. I’m sorry. I shall accept the punishment as you see fit even if that doesn’t make up for my failure.”

Nor blind nor deaf, Steve’s demeanour changed too; his eyes were suddenly as kind as his words and that was the worst part.

“I have no doubt you tried your best, Spectre, and that’s all we can ever do. The only punishment which will come is one for not following orders.”

You couldn’t help it. You should have, since you were already in such a mess, most of it of your own making, but hearing him utter those words, him of all people. The irony. You scoffed.

And like a charm, all of his benevolence evaporated in an instant; his back straightened, head held high.

“You’ve got anything to say?”

The words prickled at your tongue but you swallowed them. No. Don’t say it.

“No, sir.” Good girl.

“Clearly, you do,” Rogers opposed, eyes dark as they watched you sharply.

Well, then. Bad girl it was.

“Do I? Fine. You’re a big fat hypocrite.”

You might have as well stuck a bar into a bee hive and poked around, aiming for the queen. Rogers went from slightly annoyed to ballistic in a split second, back in your face.

“Excuse me?!”

“Excused. I bet you were aaaaaaall about following orders in your time, weren’t you?” you mocked him, knowing you were so on point it had to burn him – that was, if he took a moment to actually consider your words, the words of the inferior, painfully imperfect being. “Even now. Never reckless, never out of line if you feel like it’s the right thing to do. Never pushy with your superstrength, never just removing people who stand in your way, because you can and you will get away with it, because you are the saint who does no wrong, not at all-“

It was his turn to scoff, his eyes burning with bright blue flame of righteousness – and disdain.

“You think being me is so great, don’t you?” he threw back your earlier words, bitter, clearly regretting the sympathy he had found for you earlier. He crossed his arms on his chest again, shaking his head, a sardonic smile on his lips. “You have me all figured out.”

“Yes. Yes, I do. So I know you’d do the same in my place and I know that’s why you’re so angry with me. We always get mad when we’re offered a mirror, don’t we?” you pressed, mirroring his bitter smile indeed.

Something flashed in his eyes, voice dropping low. Dangerously low. “I am angry. You have no idea, Spectre.”

Good. Then you had at least something in common.

“Well, so am I. You have no authority to decide when I have enough-“

“As your captain, I actually do-” he interjected, raising his voice again and you just rolled your eyes.

You were insanely grateful for the familiar sensation of slight popping in your ears, the gentle swing of the floor under your feet. You’d be more grateful for it if you didn’t have to stifle a cry, when your body naturally attempted to balance it out and didn’t feel the burn in your abdomen, but you couldn’t always get what you wanted, could you?

Case on a damn point.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, right,” you said, looking straight into your captain’s eyes, sticking your chin out defiantly, saccharine voice of obedience dripping from your lips, heavy with sarcasm. “Well, if you, sir, have anything else to say, say it now, because we’re landing and I’m about to take a shower and sleep for a week. That is if I am allowed. Or do I need to submit an official request?”

You couldn’t tell whether he wanted to shout again or do exactly what you suggested you would do; because suddenly he, too, seemed dead tired, as if your shouting match exhausted him more than the mission or your failure. He stared at you, silent, for a few long moments – a few too many, almost enough to make you feel guilty again for calling him out on his bullshit, enough to make you consider apologizing for that.

Then he sighed. “No, you don’t, Agent. I hope you’ll rest well.”

You blinked, your heart skipping a shocked beat. His voice was surprisingly soft and sincere, his gaze roaming over you head to toe, seemingly concerned.

Did you just break him? Kindness was far from uncommon in him – once you’d calm down, you’d be more inclined to believe that again, you knew as much – but the sudden change genuinely startled you.

“Uhm… thanks,” you muttered, too taken aback to talk back as you walked backwards. He truly looked worn down to a bone, his brain no doubt racing, already figuring out how to fix the mess you had left behind. He looked like he needed a goddamn nap himself. Except you didn’t think he’d take it; that was part of his problem.

Hypocrite.

You swallowed the you too and simply nodded sharply before you walked away, emotions swirling wildly; and at the centre of them all, remorse and puzzlement, wrapped in a familiar sensation of agony.

Winter Soldier was a moniker Steve Rogers loathed; but the reputation which came with that name was not unearned.

When Bucky appeared behind his shoulder out of nowhere, no sound having been made, Steve nearly jumped out of his skin; and it was a true testament to how upset he was that he hadn’t heard Bucky sneak up on him despite his slightly enhanced senses.

“Well, that went spectacularly,” Bucky hummed, instantly making Steve groan internally.

He did not want to deal with this – he wanted to forget about this whole ordeal. The fact itself that Bucky was cheery about a sleeper Hydra cell simply because he had an opportunity to tease him about what had just gone down only added to his annoyance.

He was tired. He was mad. He was confused. He was disappointed – both in you and himself. He was… frustrated. So frustrated; then again, those emotions and the last one in general were no news in your presence, much like many others, but those in particular he wanted to ponder over even less.

“Bucky, don’t,” he warned his friend lowly, glancing at him from the corner of his eye as they made a slow way out of the jet.

It was a waste of words, really: Steve didn’t know what he was thinking, believing the warning would actually discourage Bucky from speaking.

“You know, maybe if you told her that the main reason why you’re so pissed-“

“Buck-“

“- is the fact that she’s challenging your authority which makes you question yourself, and that you’re terrified every time she gets hurt or loses consciousness, be it her projection or, god forbid, her real body, because you care juuuust a little too much for her, then maybe… “

Steve loved his best friend; but if looks could kill, the one he shot him at the verbalized implications, however truthful, could have murdered him on spot.

“Just saying,” Bucky said, shrugging as he kept up with Steve’s sudden strut, a grin audible in his voice. “Communication is key.”

“You need to stop hanging out with Sam,” Steve grumbled. “And I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Bucky snorted, causing Steve’s head to whip in his direction in annoyance. Didn’t Bucky have a lady to tend to? Why did he have to stick around and poke around Steve’s already exhausted brain and feed the already messy whirlwind of emotion? Oh right. Bucky would say it was payback for all the years Bucky spent saving Steve’s puny ass from the back alleys.

“Right. Just like you had no idea what she was talking about when she called you a hypocrite, because you wouldn’t do the same, try to deliver all the files you could even if it meant you’d bleed the heck out, right? Your real body, that is, because you only have one…”

Goddamnit Bucky.

“Bucky, that’s enough.”

“Nope,” his friend quipped, smiling charmingly at the group of agents they passed in the hallway and briefly, Steve imagined what they had to look like; a brooding Captain practically running away from the sunshine-like Winter Soldier. Clint would call them comedy gold; and Steve didn’t give a damn. Today had been a clusterfuck of disasters with you and him in the centre of it.

“It’s enough when I say it’s enough,” Bucky said matter-of-factly. Steve just shot him another glare as they rounded the corner, the corridor now blissfully empty. And sadly, endless with nowhere to hide. “Too bad, punk. You might be the Captain, but you’re still my friend. I’ll be bothering your reckless ass and call you out till the end of the line. And I’m telling you – you two need to get your shit together and make up. And maybe you should finally tell her you’d like to make out. But if I were you, I’d start with that apology.”

Steve stopped so abruptly Bucky nearly collided with him. The flare or anger – because goddammit was Bucky right in certain things and it was truly bothersome to hear those – licked at his gut. As he turned to give his most loyal and precious friend a piece of his mind in return, he found him with a knowing smirk on his face. Why were they friends again?

“Really? An apology?” Steve questioned, the idea absurd even as guilt had already joined the party a while ago. “For what exactly? She should have--- one of those days, she’s gonna-” Steve swallowed against the lump in his throat. He did not like the way the sentence could end. How you could end. But he’d scream at you again before he’d admit that; you brought out that side of him for some reason. You brought out a lot of things, most of them unpleasant. Most of them. “She should have followed orders.”

Bucky’s eyebrows jumped to his hairline – which wasn’t too high given how much he’d let his hair grow, but it still served the purpose of irritating Steve.

“Sure she should. And if you have always followed orders, I’d be dead.”

Steve winced as if he got punched in the gut, all flames of anger put out at once. Bucky just shrugged, unbothered by his hypothetical death.

“That’s a fact, punk. And here’s another: your mother would have boxed your ears for treating a lady the way you just did.”

And this isn’t you, Steve heard the unspoken words and with those he couldn’t argue.

The truth was, Steve didn’t recognize himself around you. He hadn’t more than once but it had never got as intense as it had just now. He felt almost possessed, an astral projection of his own, except he couldn’t control it as it raised its voice like that, in front of the whole team no less. And the worst thing was, it wasn’t a projection; the blame was entirely on him as he failed to contain the onslaught of emotion so sharp and large that he just let it all out. Almost all of it.

The one urge he tried to contain was the one to just slam you to a wall and scream the whole truth before he’d vent his frustration with you in a completely different way, with nips of teeth on that lower lip of yours, always pouting a bit when you got into one of your not so frequent but not so rare arguments, having you scream his name in ecstasy instead of defiance, a breathy whine of Mighty Captain without the snark. He was sure that would have raised a few eyebrows, but hopefully the room would clear in three seconds flat after your back would have hit the wall.

In all honesty, the whole scene had been surreal as it was; Steve had had trouble recognizing you as well. You had disagreed with him a few times, yes, you challenged his authority and questioned his decisions, yes; he had a pretty strong feeling that he was most definitely not your favourite person and more often than not, he didn’t quite understand you – but you had never so blatantly disobeyed an order. You had never endangered a mission or your teammates, never played this much of a Russian roulette, even if one might call you an overachiever which sometimes came with a bit of recklessness by default.

It was true that you could be unpredictable at times; one day you followed instructions to a tee, dutiful, meticulous even; another day, you stood firmly in opposition. One day you dotted on others in almost an overbearing quality, another day it was like you evaporated from the face of Earth, completely absent. But what came over you today, Steve had had no idea – you had been not only reckless, but to a great point, careless. Steve’s mind was blown, but not in the good sense.

That said, he was not pleased with himself either, particularly with the fact was that he had acted impulsively during the mission too. You were definitely right to call him out on it; but that didn’t mean he liked it.

He glanced at Bucky, who was watching him with one corner of his lips still raised knowingly, only fuelling Steve’s ire. Despite all that, Steve knew Bucky was right. And unlike when he was in your presence, he didn’t feel the need to deny that completely.

Sarah Rogers, god rest her precious soul, would have been profoundly disappointed in his behaviour and she would have let him hear it too, despite the infinite kindness and forgiveness she had carried in her heart.

“I know,” Steve sighed. “I shouldn’t have--- she’s just so- I-“

“I know, punk,” Bucky said forgivingly. “I know. That girl has some serious fire in her and she’s not the easiest to deal with, even if she means well, no doubt. Who does that only remind me of…?”

Steve glared at him, unimpressed – he was aware, thank you very much. Not only opposites attracted. Though he was quite certain this attraction was one-sided; and completely insane.

Bucky just grinned and patted Steve’s shoulder.

“Take a nap, Steve. We all deserve one, even if things didn’t go as planned. We’ll get them next time – as a team. Share some of that burden you strap to your shoulders every time to strap on that shield, would you? It can do wonders, believe me.”

“You really do need to stop hanging out with Sam and spend more time with Nat,” Steve uttered, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Shut up, punk, you love me mental health conscious.”

A full grin attacked Steve’s lips now, troubles forgotten momentarily, unlike the fact why Bucky Barnes was his best friend.

“Jury’s out, jerk”

Even as you felt the fire of rage slowly dying, you tried to feed it; because it kept you on your feet. You had not in fact went to lie down, even as you felt those feet dragging more than walking to Natasha Romanoff’ office. She didn’t spend too much time in it, always having better things to do than paperwork, but you knew she’d want her report to be done as fast as possible to move on exactly to those more important things.

And you knew that as long as she was there, her office was conveniently the best place to talk, the camera system disabled.

“Well, hello,” the redhead hummed as she had Jarvis let you storm in, breathless for more than one reason.

Your abdomen was throbbing, but you didn’t have time for that. It wasn’t like you were going to bleed out from a non-existent wound.

“We need to go back there and fix it.”

The infamous Black Widow only raised her eyebrow at your dishevelled state and frantic words, leaning back into her chair. You admitted you had to be a sight to the devil himself since you probably looked like hell, but you rarely let that stop you.

“Water under bridge, Spectre. The base is blown so there’s nothing to go back to and the rest of them will go deep under-“

You shook your head, stalking to her desk, leaning onto your hands, fingers spasming at the bite of pain. Bad idea. And bad phrasing.

“No, Natasha, we—” She scanned you head to toe, her other eyebrow arching as well as you had boldly invaded her space, practically asking to be removed. Violently. You didn’t have the energy to lean back, not right away. You weren’t friends, so you had no right to be so close, but she’d get over it, you were sure. The worst thing to happen would be her breaking off your wrist or something. “What I mean is that we have to act now and get those files. All of them.”

Her gaze zeroed on your face, unnervingly searching and seeing, head tilting to side in genuine curiosity.

“What exactly was in those files that it made you hesitate? You rarely ignore orders,” she stated matter-of-factly, causing you to retreat and step back. Oh. Crap. Black Widow in offensive. She walked around the desk, leaning her weight onto it, crossing her arms over her chest. “What did you see, Spectre?”

You gulped; there was no way around it, even as panic made your breathing even harder. There were so many things wrong with what you were about to say and you had no capacity to analyse why you felt the way you felt about it, let alone why you felt even worse about the fact you were the reason why you hadn’t got the intel to others.

“Steve’s initials.”

Even as her brows had smoothened, they arched again now, eyes growing wide. You swallowed against the lump in your throat.

“I tried to copy it and just opened it for a bit, too immersed to notice the unfriendly. Naturally, I got the bullet for my trouble before I neutralized him, but that’s beside the point,” you said, not missing the corner of her lips twitching. “They were… Natasha, they weren’t just some photos or whatever. Those were… they were inventing some shit. It was physics, chemistry, half of the things I didn’t understand, but I don’t think they were replicating the serum – I think they were trying to neutralize it, neutralize Steve specifically.”

And there was no way I was going to leave that there, was left unspoken, but she heard it. Of course she did; this was Natasha Romanoff you were talking to. She didn’t need you two to be friends to read between the lines of what you were saying.

“I see,” she said slowly, the damn intensity of her gaze not relenting. “And you didn’t tell Steve that when he was yelling you down, because…?”

“It was irrelevant.”

“Bullshit.”

“He wouldn’t believe me.”

She scoffed, glaring you down. “That’s bullshit too and you know it.”

Okay, that was fair. But believing was a lot different from taking action. His damn pride would have still had him snapping you back to your real body even if you had yelled at him through the comms what kind of intel you had been carrying on the drive before he messed it up for you – and him. What the heck had he been thinking, breaking your concentration like that? The utter confusion at his actions – because surely it couldn’t have been he had been so angry with you to endanger the mission – only made the matter of your fight worse.

Natasha was right, however – that was just water under bridge. You sure as hell weren’t about to go ask him what possessed him to be more insufferable than normal and you could hardly fly to the pile of debris you had left behind when the place blew up to search for scraps of hard drives.

“Fine. I didn’t think he’d take it seriously,” you admitted at last.

“Now we’re talking,” Natasha said, nodding, a small smirk appearing on her lips, making you frown.

She sure was taking it in stride all of sudden, almost as if--- was she amused? You hoped that was only a mask and in her sharp mind, she was already building a battleplan. She had to. She was one of Steve’s closest friends, real friends, you knew as much. Sometimes her nonchalance truly irritated you. Would it kill her to show more emotion?

Hypocrite.

“But that’s not enough,” she added. “Steve, bless his heart, can be an ass, but not a complete idiot. Any other particular reason why you’d keep it from him?”

Your face was a mask of neutrality. Or you hoped so.

“Nope.”

Natasha watched you sceptically and you swallowed against the lump in your throat.

Naturally, there was a plethora of reasons and on top of them sat the fact that he’d know. He’d know how much you cared. He probably figured out anyway and maybe he wasn’t one to make fun of you for that – scratch that, he definitely wasn’t, he was too much of a good guy for that – but that meant nothing. Caring for people was dangerous; caring for people when you failed meant they’d be taken away. Having people to care for – good people – was a privilege, a reward, one that could easily be confiscated unless you reached perfection.

And yes. You knew Steve Rogers was a good guy, even when he decided to yell at you in front of everyone and challenged you and made you want to smash him against the wall and bite into his stupid plump lower lip and then cuddle him and tell him he didn’t have to be so strong and that people cared about his safety too. Of course you knew he felt pain, but he just never showed it, and it was just so damn irritating, because you needed him to be only human too, so you wouldn’t feel so pathetic despite your powers, so you’d feel a little more worthy. You were well-aware that your way of thinking wasn’t healthy, especially since Steve was a person you could never and should never compare yourself to because that standard was just impossibly high, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t try to meet it. That didn’t mean your family hadn’t set the standards just as high. Perfection was not an unreachable standard, even as it always seemed to be out of reach for you.

However, knowing that precisely that was one of the main reasons why you admired Steve as much as you wanted to punch him to his perfect teeth didn’t help you coexist with him or stopped you from acting like a five-year-old in his vicinity.

On top of that, you were fully aware of how disappointed he would be in you for failing in one particular task which you were sure he considered the most important one: to have your teammates’ six. And you wouldn’t handle that; you were selfish even to that point. To have Captain Rogers learn you hadn’t been strong and fast enough to retrieve data which increased the chance of keeping a key member of your team safe and watch his reaction up close would break your damn barely patched up heart.

Natasha continued to watch you as you zoned out, her smirk growing. “Right. No other reason at all then.”

Oh, she knew about it all, alright. You had no doubt. She might not show much emotion, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t mastered reading other people’s tells. If you had any emotional capacity left, you’d be ashamed at how your face burned under her watchful gaze.

“Will you please tell the others about the files?” you asked instead, causing her to tilt her head to side a fraction again.

“I will, but why should I? Why, when you can be the one to do it? If nothing else, you should tell Steve,” she said, almost motherly you supposed – not that you’d know. “Those were files about him – he deserves the truth and to hear it from you. I’m sure he’d be less angry with you too.”

Somehow, her last suggestion was even more terrifying than Steve Rogers being all in your face and snarling. You attempted a smile, masking the anxiety curling in your gut by exhaustion.

“Maybe. I just… it might be childish, but I don’t… I don’t have the energy for that now. Tell me what else I can do and I will, but not that.”

She watched you silently for several long moments, a small smile curling up her lips – almost a compassionate one. What was it with people and their damn compassion today? You had fucked up. Why was Steve the only one to acknowledge that and why was he relatively nice about it in the end, just like Natasha now? Frankly, as much as you preferred not being completely on Black Widow’s bad side, earning her pity was exponentially worse.

“You know, most things are not going to go away just because you pretend that they don’t exist. Least of all feelings.”

It’s been working out pretty well for you, you wanted to throw back, but Bucky Barnes, the love and the lover who was one of the few people who could slip under the hard shell of Natasha Romanoff, would probably argue with you that it worked for her the best when she did let someone in. But unlike you, Natasha Romanoff did not make mistakes and was an epitome of perfection herself so she could afford that. Natasha Romanoff was terrifying; you’d like to watch someone try to mess with her.

You, on the other hand, were no Black Widow. You could and even had to keep pretending in order to exist.

“Just watch me.”

She sighed, letting her hands fall to her sides. “Go to bed, Spectre. I know you still feel that gunshot wound.”

You froze.

Your heart skipped a beat – several beats, you were sure – because your chest suddenly hurt, panic clawing up your throat anew.

She knew. She knew.

How did she--- how? You always fought so hard to hide it, as much as of a pain that was; horrible pun included.

Yes, you sure as hell still felt the gunshot wound. With every move. With every breath. Every time you had strained your muscles to yell back at Steve.

The pain of whatever injury your spectre sustained alwayslingered. Ironically, it was only thing you actually were able to carry when you snapped back. It stayed with you for a while; not the whole time that it would take for the wound to heal, but it still took days sometimes, days of pain whose intensity slowly faded away. An invisible aching wound – like a pain in a phantom limb. There was no evidence of an injury in your body, but your brain still registered it. No therapeutic approach had worked when you finally accepted that despite what you had been taught, this wasn’t normal; only for having to accept that with no solution in sight, it actually was normal. Then again, what was normal when you only had one sample to examine?

“You mostly hide it well, don’t worry,” Natasha’s voice snapped you from your dark thoughts, uncharacteristically soft. “Your secret is safe with me. But that doesn’t mean it should.”

“It definitely should,” you said in at instant, eyes hard despite the tell-tale burn of tears you felt. If anyone knew – anyone else, that was, apparently – you’d be done. Benched forever.

I do feel pain and I don’t have the luxury to switch it off when I snap back into my real body, Steve had thrown at you. If he hadn’t noticed, you were good; you had indeed hid it well enough and that was all that mattered; despite bickering and yelling, he was still willing to work with you. But that would change very quickly; and he had the authority to kick you out of this team and this business completely.

Sure, Natasha had the power to bench you and even fire you as well, but judging by the way she was looking at you now, no matter how disapprovingly and somewhat proud at once, she wouldn’t. It would be okay – as long as she’d keep her mouth shut about it just as Andy had. Andrew Garner, the only person who had known your painful secret and encouraged you to engage with various therapy approaches to rid you off your burden. He had taken the secret to the grave, never having told nor Coulson, nor the rest of his team.

The one person who had known about this was dead; and if that wasn’t a clear enough message that no one else was supposed be trusted with this, you didn’t know what else would.

“It should,” you repeated, inhaling and instantly regretting it. You swallowed as Natasha didn’t miss the tiny hitch in your breath. Dammit you needed to get better at hiding it. And you would. “Please. Tell me what else I can do.”

Perhaps it was your true superpower to make people sigh, not to project into another room, because the redhead observed you for another long moment before sighing again.

“I meant it, Spectre – go to bed. After I’ll tell the others, we might need you. Rested. With as much as you can give.”

One corner of your lips rose in a tired defiant smirk. “I can give everything.”

The look Natasha gave you before you spun on your heels told you that precisely that was both the blessing and the problem. But you didn’t need to be told more than twice to go to bed.

As you walked out, trying your hardest to walk completely straight and not hunch over even a bit, you heard Natasha’s completely exhausted sigh.

Next chapter

Series masterlist // S.R. masterlist

Alright folks, life's been quite busy so this was born through sweat and tears and I don't think it will get better any time soon, but hopefully the result will be worth it 🥰

There are and will be a few distant references to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I think you should be fine whout having watched the show.

Thank you for reading 🥰 As always, if you have he time and energy, I'd greatly appreciate your reblogs and feedback, be it even a key smash or yelling at me should the need arise 🤭

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america imagine #agent reader #shield agent reader #avenger reader #inhuman reader #steve rogers #captain america #anika ann #back and forth

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