#a spes thoughts
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a-spes · 5 months ago
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I was thinking about what going out with Wanda and Nat' as an autistic person would be like, because I feel they would be such supportive and accommodating girlfriends.
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I feel like they would be absolutely perfect at anticipating your meltdowns because they know you so well that they've learned to read the signs.
—
You went to the restaurant with them and a part of the team for a girls night. You were having a great time and everything was going fine, until it was not anymore.
Quickly, everything became too much. The sound of the cutlery, the people eating, walking, talking, .. it is all giving you the urge to rip your ears off so you could eventually be at peace. It is getting so loud, and so obsessing, that you can't think about anything else.
Obviously, they saw what was happening before you did. It always happens that way, because you keep pushing your boundaries, always refusing to acknowledge the signs of an upcoming meltdown.
But they do.
The women know the signs. There is no chance that they would miss the way you stopped talking a moment ago, how you are not eating anymore, you fork playing with your food without actually taking a bite. There is also that slight frown on your face that betrays your worries. It is obvious that you are getting more restless as the minutes go by — you wouldn't stop shifting in your seat, unable to find a comfortable position.
You were sitting in front of them. You are the one who insisted on taking this specific place, if it was up to them, you would have spent the dinner between them, but you wanted to be as close as possible from Kate and Yelena. They are funnier — but you wouldn't tell that to Wanda and Natasha, you don't want to get in trouble.
“Come here, baby. You should definitely have a bite of my meal, you would love it,” she calls, and you don't hesitate a second before joining her, sitting on her lap when she silently asks you to do it. The meal was just an excuse because the woman is aware that you would have never admitted your struggles if she had simply asked if you were fine.
She feeds you a first bite, then handing you the fork so you can take more of the meal by yourself. It allows her free hands to find a place on your ears that they are now covering. Her touch is soothing, especially with her thumb running circles on your scalp, and so is her gesture. It may doesn't dumb down the world completely but, at least, it makes everything a little more bearable.
In the meanwhile, Natasha left to buy some headphones at the nearest shop. Unfortunately, they have forgotten yours at home. Yet, she doesn't care about spending hundreds on new ones — partly because it is Tony's money, mainly because she thinks you deserve it. When she comes back, less than fifteen minutes later, and eventually put the headphones in your ears, it feels like bliss. The world is eventually quiet, and you feel like you can properly breathe for the first time in the past hour.
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spectral-phases · 2 months ago
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Another thing I need people to stop just saying like it's the truth is that Bruce picked up Tim as Robin immediately after Jason died, or that Tim forced his way into being Robin.
Now, of course, there is the caveat that Jason can come back into town thinking that it was the case, he was dead and Talia informed him of the changes in Gotham, so we don't know how accurately he was informed. Another caveat is that Tim can grow up thinking he forced his way into it because he does argue for it at a point, but I need no one else who had a fully developed mind and was there saying it. Okay? Okay.
So, let's tackle the first one. Jason Todd gets an official death certificate in the Daedalus and Icarus Annual explaining how he came back showing his date of death as 4/27/19xx (since comics are always meant to be contemporary unless stated otherwise, we can just ignore the year). The DC Encyclopedia had a death certificate too, but it had a lot of odd details, not least his height and weight being more in line for a 10 year old than a 15 year old (the Titans comic put his height at 5'4" when he died), so I'm going to use the comics certificates over that when they conflict, but the Batman Annual also lists his date of death as 4/27 (why is it a Gotham City Death Certificate when he died in Ethiopia? I have no clue).
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(Batman Annual 25)
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(New Titans Vol 1 55)
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(DC Encyclopedia)
Tim Drake appears after Jason dies when Bruce Wayne is going a little crazy as Batman. He specifically shows up during a break week from school.
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(Batman 1940 #441)
Given that he could only have a Break Week feasibly in November for teacher conferences, December for Christmas/New Year's, or March/April for Easter, and the greenery outside show that it's neither November nor December, he's therefore shown up for his Spring Break. Since that would never be after April 27th, then he has to be there at least the first Spring Break following Jason's death, so about a year later.
He shows up and begs Dick to become Robin again to save Bruce from himself.
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(Batman 1940 #441)
You see, this is interesting. He's explaining all his best qualities, not as a way to say "I'm right for the job" but to awkwardly (as only Tim Drake can) explain how much Batman and Robin mean to him, and how much they've influenced his life, to show how committed he is to this idea to back-up his assessment that Batman needs Dick as Robin again.
Dick is very adamant in his refusal to step back into the Robin role.
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(Batman 1940 #441)
Both Alfred and Dick(Maybe? unless it's just Alfred being the drama again, but Dick did leave his old Robin costume out on the side before leaving) suggest Tim should pick up the costume. And he does only hours later, when Dick and Batman's signals have disappeared after going to confront Two-Face. Tim is feeling guilt over Nightwing possibly being dead because he got involved, he's worried sick about his heroes, and Tim has to go help because he is not built for sitting back and worrying.
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(Batman 1940 #442)
At this point, he does start trying to convince both himself and Batman that he should be Robin, but only seriously after Alfred and Dick start hyping Tim up as well. Bruce is not having it. Like. At all.
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(Batman 1940 #442)
They go to track down Two-Face and the confrontation ends with Tim nearly getting crushed to death as a pile of cars in the junkyard are toppled over onto the Batmobile, where he's been instructed to wait.
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(Batman 1940 #442)
The confrontation ends with Bruce punching Two-Face and telling him that he can't kill Batman or Nightwing (Or Robin?) Or Robin!
Afterwards, after all the adrenaline has worn off and they're back in the manor in their normal clothes, Tim starts to back off of being Robin. He's still super stoked for having had the chance to fight criminals with his heroes, he's 13, give him a break. Please and thank you.
At this point it is Alfred, Dick, and Bruce who cement Tim going into training to become Robin. Yes, because of his logic, but also, like. I think Bruce knows deep down he needs someone to work with just as much as everyone else does. And Tim already knows his secret, and this is the easiest way to keep him quiet. Also, Bruce. Fucking. Communicate better. Jesus.
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(Batman 1940 #442)
And then Tim's training begins, but he won't become Robin until the following Christmas. And only after he saves Bruce because he's been captured by Scarecrow and is being tortured with fear toxin with Vikki Vale. Tim was ordered to stay home, but again, he is incapable to standing back and not helping when he thinks there's a problem (this is a good and heroic character trait). This time, he doesn't wear the costume because he can't bear the idea of failing in it, so he dons a ski mask and comes in, gets dosed with fear toxin while saving Batman and beating Scarecrow and runs away before the cops show. Tim believes this means he'll never be Robin, that Bruce will fire him from training, but at least Bruce is alive. When Tim explains this all to Bruce, Bruce says the rules are there for a reason, but sometimes it's okay to break them when justified and gives Tim a new Robin costume.
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(Batman 1940 #457)
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cheswirls · 11 months ago
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looking @ old fic i started when i was 14/15 is so funny bc im realizing once again why i never mark fics as abandoned even if its been literal years since i've touched them. specifically i was checking docs for stuff i started and either did or didn't post to ffn.
and its like. nothing is bad??? like i can see where my outside-the-box ideal of fic writing comes from. not just fics but writing in general, i'm p sure. even if it's a total cliche plot setup, there are details on each that rly make it stand out like oh yeahhhhhh i did have this great idea once upon a time.
funny too bc was it executed well in prose??? no absolutely not i wrote like shit when i was 15. would i revive an idea one day and revise it to be less cliche or cringy while still keeping the stand-out elements??? yea maybe. i might. everything i'm currently working on that i started from 2021 up to now still holds my supreme interest, but like i'm not gonna say never.
esp since i write fic first and foremost for my own need and specifically what i like to read, it makes it impossible to consider an idea i've thought extensively about "not worth writing anymore". anyway not making this too long i jus found everything interesting to consider
#writing#this fic i pulled up from JUNE 2014 crazy was the old chosenshi au i was trying to write for a friend#i dont ship blue/silver and never will and thats prolly why i never finished it#but i do still like!! the idea of rocket!blue raised w silver and breaking free of tr while running the hoenn branch#no idea how i remembered bc it wasnt in the plot pts on the doc but she was gonna get sent to the battle frontier#to nab jirachi and have encounters w frontier brains and change her mind at the end of it all#hell i could go back and not make it ship fic at all - have silver be a little one-sided obsessed or#even jus like.. attached to blue as a rivalry like as a way to show her up at every turn#another fic around the same time was the old pokespe hs au where i changed all the dexholder's names for some reason#i have no idea where i was in reading spe bc i put lyra in for some reason and had the sinnoh trio even tho i never read past v2 of dp#idk if it was more gameverse or what but its so funny looking @ the ship list n seeing i had gold paired w black#bc i had manga!ss and manga!ferriswheel so was it rly speverse or was i projecting????#actually i think black was supposed to die and gold was gonna go thru this whole thing abt grieving#looking at the ship list so funny bc i never shipped gold/crys or entourageshi#and clearly i did not know the superiority of pmshi if i threw lyra in jus for silver#god but i do love (most!) of the alt names i gave them#would absolutely fuck up the ship list if i ever redid it tho#also have perfectworld tho im sure i have the most recent rewrite on pen and paper somewhere#that one i also gave up bc the idea i had for flare!sycamore was cringe along with#every time i went back to work on it enough time passed that i thought my writing sucked#i rewrote that damn thing so many times but oooooooo i still love the idea#as long as i changed the cringe parts to smth better i could still rock w most of these#that fic rly had everything... psychic!korrina. leaf/serena. sycamore hacking the secret to mega evo. lys/syc that ends in failure#bc of the ending line i will never forget > only in a perfect world could you and i be together. destined and doomed from the start#im rambling n im boutta run outta tags gimme a sec
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chiisana-lion · 7 months ago
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havign briefly been overcome by the much love and nostalgia i have for a dearest actually kind of mid childhood pkmn manga its kind of funny to think abt that yeah. i did draw close to nothing but it exclusively for three or four years huh. maybe even more. and the amnt of people ive met and known through it that have either remained or long since moved on/lost touch with is nothing to scoff abt and i still talk to many on occassion
and then here i am now with a brand new different kind of people i interact with/that know of me who probably are unaware i was (am) kind of overly attached to this very specific manga that it was my personality for a good chunk of my online life til now. you have no idea
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mythgirlimagines · 2 years ago
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Yellow, emerald and who are nb pokespe ocs?
the character revealed for the SV arc! Since they're not really based on the male or female protags- as OP points out- they can qualify as one of the (few) pokespe OCs!
I'm really excited for this arc and to learn more about them :D
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r4zzberry-reblogz · 1 year ago
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@cisher-galathem @rvbyaoi @sheepiemenace @exbo @salty-herba-mystica
Hey, don't cry. Five thousand fanfic daydream scenarios inside your head about the super-obscure fictional character you've latched onto like an orphaned duckling, okay?
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a-spes · 5 months ago
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So.. guess who is back with more thoughts about Wanda's really nice hands, and long nails?
Me.
I am the one who can't think about anything else but those perfect hands 🙆
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You have many bad habits. You would bite your nails — or your lips, depending on your current mood — and skip meals sometimes. The woman hates that, but there is one bad habit of yours that she doesn't want to fix because she finds it absolutely endearing, and it is the way you are always avoiding her gaze.
She had quickly noticed that you were unable to hold eye contact with her for more than a few seconds, crumbling under a simple glance. She loves to slowly drag her index all the way up your neck until it finds a place under your chin. She loves to apply a slight pressure here, forcing you to tilt your head back until you have no choice but look at her, directly in the eyes. She loves the embarrassment she can read on your face.
—
Sometimes, you forget to think, and words you regret eventually fall past your pretty lips. Words that you do not mean, but would still get you in trouble with the woman — “Shut it, before you say something I'll make you regret,” she reprimands, and you can feel her nails slowly digging into your cheeks.
She is right. You don't want to suffer the consequences of your own actions, you were just craving for some of her attention. She has been so busy with her job lately that you've been feeling left out. Eventually, her thumb would find its way in your mouth, and you would just accept it.
“Isn't it what you wanted, honey? My whole attention? No, don't get shy now that you have it, and use your words to tell mommy what you want,” she teases, and suddenly you find yourself unable to speak — god, there is nothing she likes more than seeing how fast she can make you shut the fuck up and how quick she can turn you into her perfect, and obedient, little girl. One that would do anything she asks without thinking twice about it.
—
She does it on purpose, and you know it. The woman keeps pretending that she left these marks by accident, but you can see in her smile that she meant every one of them.
She loves them.
She loves to see those red crescents that decorate your skin. They are the reminder of who you are belonging to. They are the memory of the nights you've shared, and her not so gentle touches. Most of those are left when you try to squirm out of her grasp, when she has to dig her nails into your hips in order to keep you still while she ruins her precious baby.
—
That is something she loves to do, grabbing you by the hips whenever she is given the chance to. It is not her fault that you are looking so adorable that it gives her the urge to have her hands on your body, and to slowly draw pattern on your skin.
Most of the time, the woman would just sneak up behind you when you are busy, and you would have no idea that she was coming before you could feel her nails slightly digging into your skin and her soft breath brushing your neck.
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mariasont · 2 months ago
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i loved lipgloss!!! i was wondering if i could pls request smth where spencer walks in the BAU unaware of the lipgloss on his lips from kissing bimbo!receptionist or on his cheeks from being kissed then everyone's like "đŸ‘€â˜ïžđŸ€š" (english isnt my first language im sorry😭)
STICKY SITUATIONS - S.R
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a/n: back with the lipstick trope yeehaw, can't tell you all how much i appreicate u all and how patient u guys are with me when i ghost for like 5 months at a time. thank you so much for the request sug <3
masterlist
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pairings: spencer reid x bimbo!receptionist!reader
warnings: spencer daydreaming about inappropriate things! PDA!
wc: 1.1k
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Spencer woke up feeling untouchable, like nothing in the world could shake him. The kind of invincible where even the sky didn't seem like a limit. You had stayed the night, as you often did, and yet every time he woke up with you beside him, it felt like walking on air. Today was no exception.
You made sure he was late today--both of you were. He blamed you entirely, though he didn't mind. You pinned him down with a thousand little kisses, laughing as you insisted that it's essential for a day filled with good luck, and how else was he going to catch all the bad guys without a little charm from you?
Spencer's body vibrated like it was attuned to some invisible, higher frequency, one you alone could set. The smile threatening to break free felt inevitable, like a law of nature, as his mind drifted to thoughts of you--so unavoidable it was as if trying to pinpoint an electron's exact position and momentum in time. 
He had half a mind to swing by the reception desk just to see you. Just for a second. He'd convince himself it was enough, even though it never really was. Today, though? There was no chance he'd make it to his meeting. Not when you were wearing that skirt--his favorite. The one that fit you like it had been hand-stitched by hand for you alone, showing off your thighs in a way that made him picture them around his--
"Reid, you're—," Hotch's voice snapped him back into reality, his brows down turning as he regarded Spencer with a curious frown before shaking his head. "Late. C'mon."
Spencer followed Hotch into the conference room, their entrance as routine as ever--or so he assumed. But the moment they stepped inside, something shifted. The air crackled with stifled laughter, a ripple of poorly contained snickers breaking out across the team.
He froze mid-step, confusion knitting his brow as he scanned the room. His gaze flitted from face to face, trying to uncover the source of their amusement. The laughter, he realized with growing bewilderment, was somehow aimed squarely at him.
His pulse quickened as self-awareness kicked in, and his eyes darted downward, trying to detect the anomaly that had captured everyone's damn attention. A loose thread? A stain? Panic bloomed in his chest as he mentally ticked through a list of possibilities. His sweater seemed intact--no wayward strings. His pants were fine, no errant coffee stains or wrinkles. And his hair--well, his hair always had a mind of its own, but it wasn't that unruly today. Right?
Bastards.
He cleared his throat. "Okay, what did I miss?"
Emily tried--and failed--to stifle her laughter, shaking her head in disbelief. "I think you might need to go to look in the mirror, lover boy."
Spencer didn't bother questioning her. No explanation would be offered, at least not freely. He knew he'd get no real answers from this group, and honestly, he wasn't even sure he wanted them at this point. Instead, he slipped out of the conference room and headed down the hall, his mind a muddled tangle of confusion.
He was so distracted--so consumed with trying to figure out what he'd missed--that he nearly missed the sound of quick, approaching footsteps. It was only at the last second that he looked up, just in time for you to collide with him. His hands moved instinctively, catching your waist as you stumbled forward, stopping you from toppling over.
Spencer's breath caught. Gods know if you'd fallen in those heels, you'd be lucky to escape with just a sprained ankle. But you didn't fall. Instead, you let out a startled giggle as you looked up at him wide-eyed.
"Whoopsie," you said with a smile. "Hi there, handsome."
The instant the words left your lips, you clamped a hand over your mouth, fighting back a high-pitched squeal of laughter.
Spencer, even more bewildered, furrowed his brows in confusion. "Okay, what?"
"Hold still," you instructed, though your voice wavered between stifled giggles. You reached up for him, your fingertips hovering near his face.
He followed your hand with his eyes, still clueless, until you gently cupped his cheek. Whatever it was on his skin drew another wave of laughter from you, and in response, he prodded at your sides, each poke sending you into another fit of delighted squeals.
"Hey, that's not holding still, Dr.!" you gasped, halfheartedly swatting at his hands while you finished wiping away the last bit of whatever had clung to his face.
"Whoopsie daisy," you said again, still brushing invisible flecks from his cheek, your voice reminding him of what he envisioned sunshine poured into a teacup would manifest as. "Aw, Spence, looks like I kinda-sorta-maybe left a tiny little lipstick stain behind."
Your tone was drenched in honeyed innocence, as if this kind of thing just happened and you had no earthly clue how.
Spencer's eyes narrowed. "Is that why I've been subjected to my team's thinly veiled harassment?"
Your eyes went wide, and you gasped as if you'd just witnessed a high crime. "They were giving you trouble? Oh my gosh!" You pressed your fingertips to your lips. "Do I need to have a word with them?"
The determination in your voice sounded all too serious, and he was a little scared that you were actually prepared to march back to that conference room in your pretty heels and give the entire BAU a piece of your mind.
Spencer nearly chocked on a laugh. Of all possible reactions, yours was the sweetest, most fiercely protective--and downright hilarious. He held up a hand in a placating gesture, lips curving into a boyish grin. 
"Hmm, I appreciate the offer," he murmured, gently tapping his chin with a finger as if considering it. "However, I think you might need to have a word with the real culprit who decided my face should double as her personal canvas this morning."
"Me?" You pressed a hand dramatically to your heart. "I would never! I mean, sure, I might've given you a million good-luck kisses before you left, and maybe one or two... or three of my lip gloss stains decided to stick around, but that's hardly my fault!"
You shifted your weight to the balls of your feet and wiggled your fingers in a helpless sort of gesture. "That's just how good my gloss is, y'know?"
"Right," he replied, voice quieter now, eyes warm as they traced your face. "Clearly the lip gloss is at fault. We'll have to issue it a stern warning later."
"Exactly! Don't blame poor, innocent me." You paused, lowering your voice conspiratorially, leaning close enough that he caught the faint scent of your perfume. "And if any of the team give you grief again, you know where to find me!"
Spencer hummed, placing a light hand on the small of your back, steering you gently away from the corridor.
"I'll keep that in mind," he murmured, smiling as if the world had just aligned perfectly in that very hallway. "But for now, maybe we should try to make sure I get back to my meeting... gloss-free."
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seasprincess · 3 months ago
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JJ fic. I'm thinking sweet smut. Like almost goofy because that's just who he is, rarely super serious. And he and reader just know each other so well that things can be goofy, even during sex and neither of them care. Unprotected (if you're good with that). Then maybe reader finds out she's pregnant. Worried to tell JJ. But he's so thrilled.
bf!jj
a/n: I loveeed this ask
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warnings: smut, pregnancy, unprotected s3x (wrap it pookies), brain rot.
“Have you got a condom?” As soon as the words leave your mouth the blonde, that’s on top of you, head pops up. He looks at you slightly confused. His hands stoping the rubbing against your lacy panties.
“I thought you were bringing them?” JJ says, his blue eyes looking into yours as he suddenly remembers.
He was supposed to bring them.
“Fuck sake.” He sighs as he runs his head, this isn’t the first time he’s had to run out and buy them during this intimate moments. He just a forgetful guy.
“Fuck it.” You say, not even thinking about it twice. You need this. He’s been touching you for too long. “You’ve been edging me f-“
“Edging.” He cuts off with a little snort and a smile. He’s so unserious it’s insane.
“Stop.”
“Sorry.”
You look up at him and lean up, pressing your soft lips against his. Slowly his slips his tongue into your mouth as his hands continue to touch, rub and caress you. He’s being soft today.
But the way he’s fiddling with the zipper of his jeans is not soft nor slow. Of course it gets stuck, and he’s just there trying to rip it open. Trying to unjam it with some huffs and puffs.
While he’s doing that you’re pulling down your panties, the fold air against your core making you flinch a bit. Before you lay back down and he lays back on top of you.
“Are you sure?” He asks as he looks at you. This isn’t the first time you’ve done it without protection but every time he checks. Make sure you’re certain.
“Yes.” You say with a nod of your head. You just can’t wait any longer.
Slowly JJ enters your cunt, your tight walls sucking him in as you let at a moan. JJ jokes about his size to everyone. Saying how big he is. But they weren’t jokes.
“Fuck mama. So tight.” He says before placing a kiss on your neck. His thrusts picking up. His hand coming to your neck, not to choke you. But to make it easier to pick up his speed. “Such a good girl.”
Your walls clench around him as your eyes screw shut. Whimpers filling the space of your bedroom.
“Please don’t stop.” You breathe out as you instinctively grab onto the duvet, knuckles turning white as you look at him. His stupid face smirking down at you before reattaching to your neck.
His face practically lives there now. Hes always kissing and sucking on your neck.
JJ’s free hand slips between your legs and starts rubbing. Rubbing that sensitive bud of yours. His cock twitching inside your pussy.
It doesn’t take long for both you and JJ to cum. His thrust slowing down as he looks at you.
Both of you panting before the blonde just has to open his stupid mouth.
“That was so skibidi.”
“Oh my god.”
You can’t believe it.
‘This can’t be real.’ You think to yourself as you look at those two lines. The two lines that can either be a blessing or a curse.
You don’t know how long you’ve been sat on the bath mat of your bathroom. I mean you can’t have a baby. Can you? You’re only eighteen living at your parents house dating a guy who only recently learnt the difference between there, their and they’re.
You can’t be parents.
You just can’t.
“Baby I’m here to hang.” The sound interrupts your thoughts. the very guy you were just thinking about. Knocking a tune on your bathroom door.
You sniff and dry your eyes, trying to get rid of any sign that you were crying.
But JJ heard everything.
“Hey, yn? You okay?” His concern is evident in his tone. He cares about you more than you’d ever know.
The bathroom door slowly opens and your eyes meet the blondes. Slowly making his way to you, crouching down and placing his hands on your knees. You’re silent. You can’t speak. Don’t know what to say if you were to open your mouth.
So you just hold the test.
JJ’s eyes follow your gaze to the test. His breath catching in the back of his throat.
You want to know how he feels, is he angry? Upset? Disappointed?
Actually he’s none of them.
“I’m going to be a dad?” He says excitedly. Immediately you look at him. Shocked by this response. He’s happy?
“Yeah.” You say quietly.
“I’m going to be a dad!” He says louder and takes off his hat before standing up. Pacing the bathroom and smiling. Yapping about all the things he’s going to do. How excited he is to have a child.
You should’ve never been worried. You’re going to be parents.
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nereidprinc3ss · 6 months ago
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please don't say you love me
in which fwb!spencer reid and fem!reader get into an argument about the nature of their relationship.
18+ (implied intimacy) warnings/tags: friends with benefits arrangement, it goes bad, reader is so clearly anxious avoidant, reader is so me-coded, self-loathing, difficulties with emotional intimacy, arguing, derek and penelope make an appearance woo, a little dramatic, no happy ending (a nereidprinc3ss first!) a/n: it happened guys I stopped writing for a few days and last night randomly was inspired to finish this fwb piece and it essentially turned into a vent and went a completely different direction than i thought it would but here we are!!! i hope you enjoy, I loved writing, ilysm
“Are you reading it? Did you get to the part yet?” You ask, buzzing as you peer around Spencer’s arm to see where he’s at in the book you’d handed him. Sometimes you think it takes him longer to flip the pages than to read them. 
He doesn’t answer, but you see the flickering quirk of his lip like something is amusing him. It’s been a few minutes and he’s maybe halfway through. He has to have seen it by now. 
You’re clinging to his arm, eyes darting pointlessly between the text and his face, searching for a reaction. It comes in the form of a furrowed brow, a disbelieving smile, and something between a barking laugh and an exclamation of, “what?”
“You read it?”
His eyes narrow and he flips back a page, taking a bit longer to reevaluate. 
“Our moans and grunts drowned out the screams of the dead and dying only a few hundred feet away.”
You giggle furiously, clapping a hand to your mouth when you snort, and you feel Spencer’s focus shifting to you, even with your eyes screwed shut. 
“And you read this whole series?”
At that you sober up some, still hiding the bottom half of your face and brows drawn sorrowfully as mirthful tears well. You’re slow to admit your guilt with a nod, and his expression is somewhere between horror and fascination. 
Your cheeks heat and you cover your face, laughing again and shaking your head shamefully as he ridicules you. 
“Why? Why would you do that to yourself? I don’t even know if I can be seen in public with you, that’s—” he’s haphazardly tossed the book back on its display table and grabbed your wrists, pulling gently and laughing too. “No, show me your face. This is—you need to explain yourself. This is unforgivable.” 
“No! I swear it was a morbid curiosity, I didn’t like it, I’m sorry! I—”
“Reid?”
You both freeze. 
It’s not the most dignified position, admittedly—hidden among the shelves in a bookstore, pressed too close to be friendly, his hands around your wrists. 
So you don’t mind when he drops them like hot potatoes and gives you a few inches of breathing room. 
“Hey! Uh—you’re—”
Spencer is looking between you and two other people at the end of the aisle—a quirky bespectacled blonde in a flouncy polka-dot dress and her taller companion, ripped and head shaved, sporting some impressive eyebrows. Right now they’re conspicuously raised—his eyes are also pinballing between you and Spencer. 
For a moment, everyone is just sort of
 looking at each other. 
It’s a little bit
 awful?
Finally Spencer clears his throat. 
“Um, what are you guys doing here? Just
 looking at books?”
Something is off, and you feel like shrinking or running, but you just stay glued to your spot. 
In sync, they hold up copies of the same book—and it takes you not a second to place the author’s name, in imposing red font at the bottom like it’s important. Rossi. 
The pieces click into place. These must be Spencer’s co-workers—Penelope and Derek, if his descriptions of the team have served you well. Part of you is starstruck. Part of you is embarrassed. They’re clearly shocked to see Spencer with a girl in the wild, so you know he hasn’t told them about you—and why should he, you think, why should he tell his friends about the girl he’s been sleeping with for months now? 
Finally, the blonder half of the duo speaks. 
“You’re—this is a girl. That’s. Who is that? Hi! Who are you?”
She’s literally pointing at you, eyes drifting between you and Spencer like it just doesn’t make any sense. Derek gives her a look and gently pushes her hand down. 
“Hey. That’s enough.” Then he offers you a polite smile, though you sense a bit strained, and his eyes too keep wandering back to the man next to you. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“No, no! You’re not
 interrupting
” Spencer trails off and you sense he’s looking at you and gauging a reaction but you’re just smiling idly at his friends and waiting for this to be over. He finally thinks to introduce you by name, and you offer a shy wave and a smile to your new acquaintances. 
Penelope points (that damn finger again) but this time it’s less accusatory, and stays below chin level. 
“Cool shirt. I love that band,” she offers genially. Your brows raise and you look down, trying to remember what shirt you’d tossed on before leaving Spencer’s apartment an hour ago. 
“Oh! Thanks,” you smile, and you’re relieved to mean it this time. 
Another frosty silence begins to descend, but Derek doesn’t let it settle so much this time, to everyone’s satisfaction. 
“Alright, well. It was nice to meet you. Enjoy your date.”
There’s too much weight on the last sentence, and Derek gives Spencer a eyebrows-raised-meaningfully look you don’t understand. You’re just glad Spencer keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t immediately insist that it’s not a date, because it’s not, and that’s fine, but the vehement denial would bum you out. 
The pair walk away in the kind of clenched silence that means they’ll start fervently whispering as soon as they are out of ear shot. You watch their retreating figures and chew your lip, sensing that the carefree and playful energy of five minutes ago will have evaporated by the time you turn back to face your companion. 
“Strange,” you murmur, mostly to yourself, and you’re slightly jarred when Spencer replies from beside you. 
“Which part?”
All of it. 
Turning to face him, you smile, and it doesn’t reach your eyes but it doesn’t need to. 
“Oh—nothing, sorry.”
For a moment, he doesn’t respond, only stares at a point somewhere above your head and narrows his eyes like he’s thinking unpleasant thoughts. 
“Was I an asshole, to you, just now?”
It’s unexpected. You don’t have an answer prepared, so you say something that feels like a lie because you can’t prove that it’s not the truth. 
“I don’t think so. Why?”
“I just
 I don’t know. I get weird around them, sometimes. I don’t always know what to say, like, when my personal life and my work life intersect, because for a long time I didn’t really have a personal life. And I think they still think I don’t know how to talk to girls, so
”
“You don’t know how to talk to girls,” you remind him. “Let’s go look at the puzzles.”
Maybe you spend too much time with Spencer Reid. Maybe that’s the problem—too long in his presence and he’s eating away at your neural tissue like you’ve got cysticercosis and he’s the T. solium (a terrible thing he had explained to you a few weeks ago.)
Maybe you need a break from him, to stop breathing his air and sleeping in his bed and wearing his clothing, because you’re forgetting that he’s not the entire world and that is a very bad thing to forget in a situation like yours. The entire world cannot be the size of his apartment. 
But you also just like him so much. As a friend, of course. That goes without saying. You like his strange sense of humor, and the way he lights up when you ask him an obscure question. You like your legs across his lap while you watch his old shows. You also like being kissed by him, and hugged by him. You like being taken care of like no one has ever taken care of you, and you like the way he always touches you, soft and kind and so on purpose. 
You never meant to like him so much. 
This affection—it has grown, insidious and parasitic, and now that it’s been pointed out to you like a lump in your side, it’s impossible to ignore. 
What you and Spencer have works precisely because you’ve kept things platonic and casual. That way, there’s no worrying about emotional baggage or arguing about feelings because there are none to be found and no precedent that any such things should or need to occur. You can’t hurt each other’s feelings if your feelings aren’t on the table. 
So why can’t you stop thinking about earlier?
Why can’t you help caring that he’s been keeping you a secret from the people he loves most?
“So, essentially the book is his first deep dive into meta-fiction. It was pretty revolutionary at the time, and while not his most celebrated novel, I’d argue it was his most relevant and culturally pervasive. I’d actually love to hear your interpretation of the story—it’s truly different for everyone. It’s a little like
 like a literary Rorschach test. Do you wanna borrow it?”
You’re a tangle on his bed—arms, legs, sheets—it’s hard to tell where you end and he begins. All you’re sure of is his hand, tracing his fingers in chaste lines, feather-light up and down your inner thigh in the way he knows you like. Usually it’s so soothing you melt and fall asleep within minutes. Right now it’s only stoking some sparking electrical fire in your chest—the buzzes and bursts from which have you on edge. Ready to cave in at any second. You wish you could relax. You’ve been trying.
Spencer is in no hurry for you to respond, and so doesn’t seem to mind when it takes you a long while to find your answer. 
“I think I need to go home.”
It comes out too scratchy, as you haven’t really spoken for several hours. Not as casual as you were going for. He angles his head down toward you and his hand stops and you realize it’s actually worse like that. 
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah! Everything is fine, I just
 I wanna sleep in my own bed tonight, I think.”
It’s late and you shouldn’t be making him drive you across town, but he’s always amenable to what you want. This is the longest you’ve ever stayed at his place, after all—a rare long weekend—and before that a few weeks had passed with no cases to speak of, during which time you’ve been staying with him more and more. Spencer seems to be completely content letting you eat his food and use his shower if it means you don’t leave. 
“I know the feeling well,” he admits, and your heart twinges with the care he takes to not bump or bend you or pull your hair as he shifts. He’s already been out of bed, and so is more dressed than you. Really, most people on the planet are more dressed than you, and you pull his nice sheet higher up your chest as he sits on the edge of the mattress, looking down at you and with a sort of worry in his eyes. He finds your knee through the fabric. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been quiet.”
Stop paying such close attention, you want to tell him. And in the same breath, please don’t ever look away. 
“I’m
 good.”
It is easily the least convincing performance of your life. Either you’re self sabotaging or you want him to push you further, and you don’t know which is worse. 
When his brow ramps just the slightest bit, you know you’ve fumbled it. 
“I don’t believe you.”
You shrug. “I don’t need you to.” And then you sit up, still holding the sheet to your chest. “Can you hand me a shirt?”
Enough clothing has accumulated around the room recently that he could pretty much reach out in any direction and find something for you to wear.  He grabs a sweatshirt hanging from the bedpost and holds it out for you, and you pull it over your head, before dropping your feet onto the cool wooden floor and grabbing the first bottoms you see—a pair of floral pajama shorts. How have so many of your clothes ended up at his apartment?
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
You scoop your bag up from a chair and flit around the room, haphazardly stuffing away discarded clothing to take back home. It’s true that it’ll be nice to get back to your stuff—your shower products and your closet and your silk pillow cases. You shouldn’t be spending so much time here. It’s not your space and you’ve been sacrificing your own needs to be closer to him, which is something you’d rather not do for any man. 
“You can drive me home. I’ll send you gas money.”
“You don’t need to send me gas money,” he says, tacking your name on to the end of the sentence in a way that raises your hackles instantly. 
“Yeah, I do. You drive me around constantly. I’ll pay you back and start taking the metro, or something.”
“I don’t want your money,” he scoffs. 
“Fine. Then I’ll call a car.”
“That’s unnecessary. I’m happy to drive you.”
“Why?”
Silence hangs. Spencer has by this point stood up, and he’s watching you with a furrowed brow and slightly parted lips like he doesn’t understand where this animosity has come from. Honestly, you’re not entirely sure either. You didn’t realize you were harboring so much of it. 
“Am I supposed to see you as an inconvenience?”
“I’m not your responsibility.”
“No. You’re not. We have a relationship and I don’t mind doing things for you.”
“You’re not my boyfriend.”
You didn’t mean to say it, but you sure as hell were thinking it. 
It feels good to say, like stretching a sore muscle beyond its limits or pressing into a bruise until you get past the ache. Sometimes when things hurt, it’s best to feel the pain and move on. 
He looks absolutely perplexed, the lines between his brows only ditching deeper. 
“Is that what this is about?”
“Oh my god, Spencer, no, I don’t care—”
“Because earlier at the bookstore I asked you if I was being an asshole and—”
“I do not give a fuck about earlier at the fucking bookstore!”
It’s too late to be yelling, but he doesn’t scold you. He just sort of looks at you, like you’re something mildly unpleasant. It makes you feel worse. 
A long moment goes by. 
“Fine. I’ll take you home.”
You let him brush past you, nothing more than a breeze on your shoulders as he disappears from the darkened bedroom. For a moment, you can’t follow him. All you can do is stand there and try to contain that sour, stinging, crying feeling in your eyes and nose because there’s no reason for you to be crying right now. 
From the living room, he calls, rather abrasively, “Are you coming?”
“Yes,” you huff, and it is as wavering as it is insolent, so obviously the only word holding back a full-fledged deluge of tears. 
One minute. One minute to sniffle and take deep breaths and wipe abashedly under your eyes because you refuse to be dramatic about this. Refuse to get over-emotional. You will not let it matter this much to you. 
When you decide you can show your face without making a scene, you march out of his bedroom and straight past where he’s leaning against the kitchen counter, keys in hand, to the front door. 
He doesn’t move. You burn smoking holes into the dark wood of the door with your eyes, and the two of you are apparently at an impasse. 
“I’m ready,” you eventually snap, always the impatient one between the two of you, casting a sharp glance over your shoulder. 
“I’m not.”
“You said you would—”
“I know what I said,” Spencer cuts you off and shuts you up, “and I changed my mind. I’d prefer to talk about it before I take you home.”
By the time he finishes the sentence you’re already wrestling your phone from the depths of your bag in search of a ride sharing app. 
“Okay, well I’m done talking because I don’t think there’s anything to talk about, so—”
“No, you’re done talking because this is what you do. You can never admit it when you want something because that would mean acknowledging that you’re a human being with emotions, and that’s too scary for you.”
Surely you misheard him. You turn around, a deep frown contorting your features. 
“Excuse me?”
He only looks at you in that expectant, knowing way of his. 
“It’s too scary so you run away. You’d rather burn your relationships to the ground and rebuild them with a new person every time than actually let someone in.”
“You don’t know me!” You yell.
“Do you actually think that’s true?” Spencer says, pushing off his perch against the counter, voice shrilling and raised slightly as he gets visibly agitated. “You think I’ve spent hours upon hours with you and I don’t know you at all?”
“You have no idea what I’m like in a relationship because this isn’t one. You have no fucking idea what I want, so do not presume to,” you seethe. 
“You want a relationship. You wanted my friends to know you and you didn’t tell me that because you’re fucking terrified of the fact that I do know you. You can’t stand the idea that regardless of how many times you tell yourself it’s just sex, you have been vulnerable with me, and you’ve told me things you’ve never told anyone before, like why your last three relationships really ended, and how you constantly self-sabotage when you’re on the verge of getting what you want because you think you don’t deserve it.”
“Shut up!”
“No. I’m not just going to let you walk away from me like you did everyone else who could’ve ever cared about you because I know once you walk out that door you’ll stop responding to my calls and texts and I’ll never see you again, which is a juvenile pattern and completely unsustainable if you don’t want to keep pushing people away for the rest of your life!”
“God, Spencer, stop!” You sob, staggering back like you’ve been stabbed. 
The urgency, the raw, desperate scratch of your voice, stops him in his tracks. 
Every place an arrow penetrated a chink in your armor aches, and it hurts so much worse because he knew exactly where they were. You don’t know when or how it happened, but he’s right. Despite your most valiant efforts, Spencer Reid knows you. Somehow he crept in and grew over every limb like ivy. It’s crawled over your feet and up your legs and it’s keeping you there, rooted in place in his apartment, sobbing silently into the crook of your arm because you feel utterly paralyzed with fear. 
Just as he’d said. 
It’s silent for a long stretch of time, unquantifiable the same way the distance between the beach and the horizon is unquantifiable. It’s sprawling and infinite and desolate. The only relief from the drowning quiet is the occasional gulp of air or gasp from you which furthers your humiliation. 
“I’m sorry,” Spencer finally whispers, soft and unsure like rays of weak sunlight over staggered tides, in the grey morning after a raging storm. It’s an attempt. It’s earnest and afraid. 
The energy radiating off of him is so tangible that you can sense his desire to come near. To hold you. But that would be your worst nightmare come to fruition. This—this warbling and crying in front of him in silence in his dark apartment is god-awful enough. But to be comforted? For him to bear witness up close and personal to your humility and your ugly, jagged pieces—that inspires true catatonia. That is everything he said you were afraid of, and he was right. 
You resent your human nature, and the fact that you care how his friends look at you and that it stung when they did so with little more than apathy. You hate that you care that he hasn’t told them about you. You hate that you feel so unimportant—because more than anything, you want to be fine with being unimportant. 
You want to be fine. Constantly. 
You hate that you feel. You hate that you care. 
But you always have. And so fucking deeply. 
Somehow, Spencer Reid is the only one who has ever noticed. 
Eventually, his self-restraint snaps and he surges forward at the same time as you take a shuddering inhale and step back. 
“Please don’t touch me,” you whisper. Afraid that if he did, his fingers would only sink into your flesh like decaying fruit. That you would disintegrate in his hands, and he’d finally see you’d been rotten the whole time. 
He speaks softly, holding his hands up to show you he’s not a threat. 
“Okay. I won’t. I’m sorry.”
“I need to go home.”
“I’ll—”
“No. I don’t want a ride. I’ll get a car.” You speak quietly. Efficiently. There’s no point in pretending this doesn’t feel catastrophic anymore. 
His brows furrow. Like a moth to flame, like he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, he draws nearer again. 
“I’m not comfortable with you on the street at this hour.”
“I’ll wait in the lobby,” you insist, pleading, a wounded animal, because he doesn’t seem to understand how every casual notion of kindness is a violence, how he’s ripping into you and making it so you’ll never be able to put yourself back together. He can’t be kind like you’re easy to be kind to. 
If you’re easy to be kind to, you are just as easy to hurt. Accepting that kindness is a sort of vulnerability you feel you can’t afford right now. 
Another moment of silence, of stillness, as if you’re both bolted to the ground where you stand. 
When he speaks it’s a blow to the chest because you’ve made him cry too. 
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, quietly, and a venomous self-hatred drips down your throat. Because you’re doing it again.
Maybe this is all you will ever be. 
You fail to stifle a sob and Spencer steps closer still, saying your name desperately and so quietly like it’s his last rite. 
And you try. You try harder than you ever have to stay in one place, to get a hold of your vibrating and to swallow all those slithery feelings and ignore every alarm telling you to panic when he reaches out to touch your arm because it’s never safe to let people in. But when his hand finally brushes you, it’s like a cow prod. You jolt backward. 
“I can’t, I’m sorry,” you whisper all in one harrowed breath, and there’s so much you’d like to say—you’re right, about everything, you do know me, you know what I want, I tried, I’m ashamed—but none of it matters. None of it is enough. He’s backed you into a corner of your own making, and the only way out is by pushing him aside even if it hurts you both. 
So you don’t say anything else. You leave him there, in the dark of his own apartment, and you disappear down the hall. 
Maybe this is all you will ever be.
1K notes · View notes
peaceqi · 11 months ago
Text
giving zayne head :3
pairing: zayne x afab!reader (fem)
genre: smut, pwp, oneshot
warnings: MDNI (18+), oral sex (m!receiving), rough sex, face fucking, hair pulling, dubcon if you squint, cum eating, established relationship
word count: ~1k
guys i just want to suck this man's dick idk what to tell you
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zayne is much more of a giver than a receiver, hence why he never lets you go down on him. "i don't wanna hurt you," is always the excuse he uses. and to his credit, he was big, so his concern was kind of warranted. but tonight, he came home from the hospital particularly stressed out. plus, there was something about him when his hair is disheveled, dark circles under his eyes, and his tie slightly loosened that drove you feral. how could you watch your poor zayne, who is always serving you—eating you out until you're gasping for air and pleading him to stop—in such a state, and not want to...relieve some of his stess.
so after a bit of convincing (begging), he gave in. despite his surface level resistance, it was hard to say no to the thought of you looking up at him with his cock stuffed in your mouth, eyes watering as you're barely able to wrap your lips around his thick shaft.
you sit on top of him, straddling his hips. you gently bite down on his bottom lip, running your tongue along the sensitive skin. you hold back a moan as you feel his erection press up against your clit. you move down, kissing his neck and defined chest, his shirt long gone at this point.
you inch downwards towards his crotch to find his erection tenting at the restrictive fabric. you stare hungrily at his clothed cock, gulping in anticipation. unable to contain your excitement, you start unbuckling his belt. zayne chuckles softly at your enthusiasm and slides out of his pants.
now in his underwear, his bulge was much more apparent. you press against his erection with your palm, teasing him with slow strokes through his underwear. he lets out a low groan that sends shivers down your spine.
you remove your hand and playfully give him a few pecks through the thin fabric, before slipping your fingers underneath the waistband. you tug at his underwear, pulling it downwards until his painfully erect cock springs out. he was big. you wonder for a second how you’ve ever been able to fit it all inside you. he was already leaking precum and practically twitching with arousal. if he wasn’t so tired, he’d love to fuck you into the morning.
you wrap your hands around his thick shaft, bringing his cock towards your mouth. zayne shivers as he feels your breath graze his sensitive tip. “don’t strain yourself too much,” he warns.
“you worry too much," you reply.
you proceed to lick a long stripe from the base to the tip, your tongue sliding across the slit, tasting the slight saltiness of his precum. he lets out a deep sigh, as if all the tension that had been building throughout the day melted away. you wrap your lips around the tip, slowly sinking down on his shaft. your mouth is stretched as wide as possible as you stuff it full of his girth. you continue to push down on his length until his tip is pushing against the back of your throat.
you let out a muffled moan. "fuck," he sighs, shuttering in response to the vibrations on his dick. his fingers comb through your hair and grasp at the roots.
you slide back up and your lips release their grip on his cock. "look at me," he demands. he pulls your hair backwards, raising your head towards him. you look up at him through lidded eyes, lips glistening from saliva. "such as pretty girl," he coos.
he brings your head back to his cock and you start to bob up and down. you move agonizing slow at first. partly to tease him, but also to let your mouth adjust to his size. his hand follows your rhythm, applying gentle pressure. the feeling of your warm, wet mouth slipping up and down his cock was to die for. it took everything in him not to just fuck your face.
as your mouth gets accustom to the stretch his thick cock, you speed up your pace. you maintain a tight suction on his dick, making it hard for him to last long. you slide your tongue across the tip, the stimulation making him buck his hips up.
he watches you with his mouth slightly agape as you make his cock disappear into your mouth. his grip on your hair gets tighter, "fuck, you take me so well." you feel a flutter in your lower stomach in response to his praise. as you slide upwards on his shaft, you take his dick out of your mouth. you make eye contact with him as you gently tap his tip on your bottom lip, before sliding your mouth back down. you hum in response as you continue bobbing your head.
he wants to be gentle, but he can’t help but to thrust shallowly into your mouth. your eyes water as you take his length deep inside your throat. he can tell by the shuttering of his hips that he’s close.
you feel a familiar stickiness in between your legs as you soak through your panties. it drove you crazy seeing him come undone in your mouth. both of your hands were occupied, stroking zayne's cock. it felt like torture not being able to touch yourself.
his eyebrows are furrowed in concentration. "i-i'm gonna cum," he strains, "you're such a dirty fucking girl. you want me to cum in that pretty little mouth?"
you moan and nod your head as you chase his release, taking his length faster and deeper. all you can think about it tasting his spend on your tongue.
his grip on your hair is tight in his fist as he pushes your head down roughly. the movement of his hips get more erratic before he lets out a loud groan, reaching his peak. his cock throbs as he spills his seed into your mouth. you taste the warm, salty liquid as it hits your tongue. he continues to thrust, fucking his cum into your mouth.
his movement slows to a stop as he comes down from his high. his breathing is heavy, like he just ran a marathon. you slide your lips off of his cock, struggling to contain all of his seed. you make eye contact with him as you swallow, wiping the excess cum on the side of your mouth.
he smiles at you, pulling you upwards and into a kiss. "i'm sorry i was so rough. this is why i always refuse you." he cups your face and turning it to inspect each side.
you shoo his hand away, "see, i'm fine! i'm tough, you know."
"hmm, i don't know. i think i'm gonna have to check every inch of you just to make sure," he gives your neck a few pecks on each side before trailing downwards.
he notices the wet patch on your underwear and kisses your cunt through the fabric, breathing you in. he slides his fingers underneath the waistband of your panties.
"i thought you were feeling tired!" you whine in protest.
"well, someone was able to replenish my energy." he presses his thumb against your clit, rubbing it in circles. your cunt throbs and you inhale sharply at the stimulation.
"plus," he smirks, "i'm someone who always repays his debts."
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luveline · 2 years ago
Note
WOULD LOOOVE to see badass reader get jealous over someone flirting with spencer
ty for requesting ♡ —spencer reassures you when he catches the eye of a receptionist at the ocean city precinct. fem!reader, 1.3k
Hotch lives on coffee lately. Any type from any source, he doesn't care what it tastes like so long as it keeps him awake. You're similar, in that even if you hated it, you'd keep it to yourself. 
But you're frowning in disgust at your cup. Eyebrows wrinkled, lips in a fierce line. Hotch sighs and puts his hand on the back of your chair. "Are you alright?" he asks. 
You've never told him otherwise. "Fine. Thank you." 
"There's water in my bag," he offers. You won't meet his eyes. You probably have a headache. "And aspirin." 
For as long as he's known you and worked with you, you've been as you are now, quiet, stern, with little sense of humour at work and not much more outside of it. The only evidence of your soft heart is how you work like a dog, and how you treat your coworker, Spencer. He's your achilles heel, your tender spot in all the tough scarring. Hotch knows there's nothing anyone can do to make you feel better if they aren't him. 
Hotch turns on the spot to look for him. The case you're working on here in Maryland has hit a lul, and exhausted faces peek out from behind their desks at Hotch's looking. He searches for the short mop of brown hair that's required and finds it in an unusual place. 
Spencer has been waylaid by a receptionist. Glimmering eyes, shiny silver fingernails that tap the desk in front of her as she speaks, the receptionist clearly has Spencer hanging on. He takes a step back and she doubles down, her storytelling audible from across the room. 
"You'll have to see it for yourself, Dr. Reid, it's a sight!" 
Hotch looks at you from the corner of his eye. "I see." 
"Don't know what you're talking about," you mutter. You stand and tip your coffee into the bin, letting the cup fall in after it morosely. 
"Why don't you go and help Reid?" Hotch asks. 
"Help Reid what?" you ask. Your tone betrays you —jealousy, sure, that slight crisp to your words that must hurt on the way out, but worse is the weakness as your sentence ends. You're jealous, and it's upsetting you. "I don't think I want to help him with that." 
Derek swings into the sequestered space you've been using to operate and beams at you like he knows exactly what you're thinking. 
"Isn't it surprising how quiet he can be? Years of catching bad guys and he can't say no to a pretty woman," Derek says, giving you a knowing look.
You and Derek have a half-hearted rivalry in that he loves to flirt and you disapprove. Your soft spot extends solely to Spencer no matter how hard Derek tries to sway you, though as you and Spencer have gotten closer, you've softened.
Hotch thinks that Derek's teasing might erase any progress that's been made. 
"Morgan," he says reproachfully. 
Derek makes a who, me? face but quickly gives in. "Why don't you go save him?" he asks you. 
"He doesn't need saving. Spencer is a grown man who can make his own choices," you say quietly. 
Hotch bites his tongue. Thankfully, Derek speaks up, without any teasing. "Spencer's been expected to  know how to do things without any help since he was a kid. I really think he just doesn't know how to walk away." 
You look down at your hands. Hotch has been doing his job for a long time, and he can guess what you're thinking from a misaligned finger. You don't feel like you measure up to the woman at reception. You're insecure about Spencer's affection for you, because you can't understand why he likes you so much to begin with. Hotch has thought it about Haley, Derek of Savannah. It's a very human doubt.
"Spencer tends to stand straight," Hotch says, bringing the lip of his paper cup up. "Right now, he's leaning away." 
It's in as simple terms as he can put it without outright telling you that he really, truly believes that Spencer wouldn't bother with anyone who isn't you. That Spencer loves you in the young, all encompassing way, even though neither of you seems to have realised the depth of it yet. 
Confident, no air of the girl frowning down at her hands, you leave the nook to approach Spencer from behind. 
"Hi," Hotch hears you say, "you okay?" 
Spencer visibly relaxes. "Hey, I'm fine. Uh, Y/N, this is Anabelle. Annabelle, this is my partner, Y/N." 
"Partner?" Derek asks. 
It's news to Hotch. Perhaps news to you, if the way you take his hand is any hint. It's like you've never held it before, and Hotch knows you have, he's seen you linking pinkies under tables. 
You strangle his fingers with yours. Spencer doesn't move an inch.
"She was just telling me about the sightseeing you can do here. Have you ever seen the world's longest worm on a string?" he asks you. 
"Hi, Annabelle," you say, turning to Spencer with poorly masked whiplash. "We're gonna try narrowing the search radius." 
"Oh, right." Spencer lets go of your hand in favour of putting a hand behind your shoulder, saying his thank yous and goodbyes to Annabelle before guiding you back to the makeshift BAU base camp. "What took you so long?" 
"What took me so long?" you ask.
"I thought you liked me!" Spencer says, teasing, his voice pitching higher. "I didn't know how to tell her I've already read the pamphlet she was quoting. She seemed nice though, right?" 
"She seemed nice, Spence," you agree, a little wobbly still but a thousand times less sullen than before. "I– of course I like you, you know I like you. Right?" 
Hotch is proud of Spencer for how remarkably he responds. Spencer puts his body between you and Hotch and Derek where they're standing to offer you the privacy you prefer, dropping his voice to match your tentativeness. "Yeah, I know. I was kidding. I think they'd have to reassess my position on this team if I didn't know that." He grabs your arm, thumb pressing into the crook of your elbow. "Are you okay?"
"I thought maybe she was flirting with you." 
Spencer shrugs uneasily. "Maybe. It wouldn't make a difference to me. Do you know that?" 
Your head dips down. Hotch can't hear what you say, honestly, he doesn't want to know. Eavesdropping on the people he cares about in their unhappy moments isn't something he makes a habit of, but it's hard not to hear Spencer's response. "Don't say that," he murmurs. "That's not true
 We'll talk about it later, okay?"
You clear your throat. "Yeah. Whatever you want."
Derek doesn't hide that he's been listening very well, pulling a crime scene document up to his eye line as you and Spencer pull apart. Your eyebrows furrow into a glare, but it's Spencer who says, "What?" 
Hotch bites back a smile. Derek grins and holds his hands up in surrender. 
"Just nice to see you taking care of my favourite girl," he smarms.
"Stop. You're extremely unprofessional," Spencer says, helping you into your seat unnecessarily.
"And you're not?" Derek asks, gesturing to his hand where it lingers behind your shoulders. 
You finally chip in, apparently back to your regular self. "Only one of us was responsible for a unit wide HR mandate about inappropriate behaviour." 
"You cannot keep bringing that up." 
"Why not?" 
Hotch takes a sip of his tepid coffee. He'd rather not get involved. 
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a-spes · 1 year ago
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And you are not hard to love, no one is.
You are lovable.
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zzoupz · 4 months ago
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My friend saw ur drawing of Jimmy kinning the horrible men quartet and he was obviously trying to not admit he thought the way you draw Jimmy is hot. Like I saw the look of panic go across his face lmaooo I was like "oh? You got an opinion that Twitter or tumblr dot com would be interested in hearing?" And in response I get "Okay... Hear me out. In that specific drawing, in that specific style, in that spe-" you drew the devil and my guy saw god, I guess.
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ok but honestly it's sad that people have to feel shameful about finding a fictional character hot of all things. someone on twitter got jumped for saying the same thing about the same art and like are we seriously doing this in this day and age
sorry for the short rant uhhh congrats/condolences to your friend
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rose-maidenn · 7 months ago
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đŸ”žïžPick a card đŸ”žïž
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1-2-3
♧Let me describe the way you speak
♀What do people think of that
◇ A tip
Hi guys so nice to see you here I hope life's been extra sweet to the sweet angel that you are ❀✚ for this reading choose a picture from the above intuitively, take what resonates and leave the rest , enjoyyy ✚
Images via Pinterest, dividers by @enchanthings
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Pile 1 :
♧Let me describe the way you speak
What I get is that your voice is kinda breathy and you speak like an ancient wanderer who has seen a lot of the world, I feel like you're someone to whom people come for advice , also one of your friends is forwarding your voice messages to a secret lover omg 😂 don't worry this isn't creepy because that can be someone from your friend group . Your prime aim of speech seems to be motivating people, though you don't claim to know a lot but whatever you know you know it by your heart and that's what makes you loved among your friends and feared among your enemies
♀What do people think of that
People think you're the light to their shadow no really you sound like an angel like a billie eilish , lana del vibe really 💌 it screams a bunny like maiden energy but also a very wise women by the way you speak , I feel like some people are naturally inclined to ask you for directions the visitors in your city , you might have a mole on your face that's so attractive . People might wanna set your voice as a lullaby .
◇ A tip
Okay so get that you might stutter at the pronunciation of a certain letter in the alphabet , I get that you should observe the mouth movement of the people who talk to you it will help you a lot , Avoid cold foods if you have migrane issues . Elevate your knowledge to about some recent social or celebrity news as well because soon you're gonna find a group that's gonna help you go far ahead so win the world my little angel 🎀
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Pile 2 :
♧Let me describe the way you speak
I think most people here are people who are contralto , alto or husky voiced , more men might be here as well , your voice seems like the one in those youtube audios all I can say is your voice is ultra s**y it's silky like butter on fresh bread or water , your voice is versatile you also might be into beat boxing or rapping . You have nice breath control . The prime aim of your speech is to keep your thoughts to the world , you're up to date in studies and social affairs .
♀What do people think of that
People down right want your voice â€ïžâ€đŸ”„ you're like an husky Ariel .you have nice pronunciation, because of having a deep voice if you rap often people find it so attractive and want to learn they literally mimic how to speak like you but it's actually so natural to know you don't even try . You're someone who might be able to talk to a room full of people and make them listen to what you have to say because of how much emphasis you can put through your voice .
◇ A tip
Though you're good at sentence formation, you often mess up a little on how to say a certain word in a sentence like " I think a bird is meant to be free " here if the subject is the bird your voice might put more focus on the meant and it's very subconscious so try putting more emphasis on what you want to get through to the people. What a good life to be as amazing as you â€ïžâ€đŸ”„
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Pile 3 :
♧Let me describe the way you speak
You have a very indigenous voice, a voice that reeks of mountains or ancient voice very beautiful sultry or gorgeous✚ , a very country or folk song oriented voice , a voice that reaches the blood of the people your larynx seems to work like an instrument, some of you might have learned music as a child like doremifa or saregamapa you're a great singer . On the other hand some people in this pile might also have a very shrill feminine voice that's loud but commanding very unique voice like 2000s Paris Hilton vibe .
♀What do people think of that
You remind people of their roots I feel like your political stances are very appreciated they like the way you speak about your art and the instances of your life almost like poetry in motion. You might be good at selling things because of the way you passionately speak about the things you wanna Market . You will make a great youtuber because you know how to cater each audience you're very street smart . The prime aim of your speech is expression .
◇ A tip
One tip for you might be to focus on speaking up more you have so much art inside you but also you're an introvert but you know you'll do more good to the world by speaking more than keeping it to yourself , ofcourse take your time as to be comfortable around your setting to let your true thoughts flow from your heart to your throat , it's more like this because you're a little scared also a blockage in your heart chakra work on it I'm sure you're a rock star ✚
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Thanks for being here ❀ dm to book a personal reading ✚
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alotofpockets · 1 year ago
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Confidence | 18+ MDNI
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Pairing: Reneé Rapp x Reader
Summary: Reneé asks you to come to her first day off shooting Mean Girls to give her the confidence she needs to play Regina George. (based on this scene)
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut
Reneé Rapp Masterlist | Words: 1.2k
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ReneĂ© usually didn’t have a problem with showing off her body, she was proud of the way she looked, and often showed the world her confident side. She wore revealing outfits all the time, and never really gave a care in the world what others thought about her appearance. However, as the first day of shooting Mean Girls came closer, she started getting more and more nervous about portraying this confident character in front of the cameras.
Of course, ReneĂ© had played Regina before, and knew the character well, but in front of the cameras it was different. On stage she got into character and played the part in front of a lot of people, but they were all sitting at a distance, and observed not only her but also the rest of the set around her. On set the cameras and the crew would be focussed on her playing the character the way they had envisioned her, of course they did the same for the other actors there, but the scene she was most worried about was Regina’s opening scene. 
It didn’t take much convincing on your girlfriend’s end to get you to join her on set for the first day of shooting. You loved supporting her in person whenever you were able to. Supporting her didn’t just mean her music and her acting, you supported her in every aspect of life, and she did the same for you, that is why your relationship worked so well. 
While it was an early call, ReneĂ© still took some time to show you around the set. You hadn’t been to the Mean Girls set yet, and were looking at everything full of amusement. When you were younger, you had watched the original, and you always loved the movie, so seeing the set of the remake made you feel very nostalgic.
You sat to the side as ReneĂ© was getting ready in the hair and make-up trailer, talking with her costars and the hair and make-up team. It was nice getting to know the girls she’d be working with for the next couple of months. 
Before you headed to the set they’d be shooting at this morning, you took ReneĂ© to the side. “I just wanted to say that you are amazing, and you look incredible. You are going to crush this scene, and every scene after. You are the perfect Regina George, and I cannot wait to see the lines we rehearsed together come to life. I love you, baby. Have fun out there, and I will be right behind the crew supporting you.” ReneĂ© pecked your lips, “You’re the best, but shush now or you’re going to make me cry.” You both laugh, and head into the hall the scene would be shot in. 
They were shooting the scene where Cady met Regina for the first time to the song ‘Meet the Plastics’. It included a close up shot of ReneĂ© signing the song, while the camera slowly panned out, revealing more of her. It took a few takes to get the close up right, but when the crew was happy with the results, they moved on to the part that ReneĂ© was most nervous about. It was a shot where she would sensually open her leather jacket and show off her boobs.
The first few takes were cut, “ReneĂ© can you give us a try with some more confidence please?” The director asked and she nodded in response. ReneĂ© looked up to you for some reassurance, and found you clenching your thighs together. You hid it well, no one else around you would notice, but ReneĂ© knew. That familiar look in your eyes, and the subtle movements, she knew all too well. That sight alone gave her the confidence she needed to act the scene exactly how the directors had in mind. 
Once the scene was done, and ReneĂ© had quickly said bye to her co-workers she walked up to you, “I knew having you here would do the trick. Wanna head back to my trailer?” ReneĂ© wouldn’t be in the next couple of scenes they were shooting, so she had some free time. She knew just the way she wanted to spend that free time. 
After entering the trailer door behind you, ReneĂ© pressed you up against it. Your breath hitched at the sudden movement, but a smirk started playing on your lips once you saw the look in your girlfriend’s eyes. “I told you you looked incredible.” You tease, letting your hand drag over her chest. When your hands found the zipper, you undid it the rest of the way, and took off the jacket. Your hands moved up her arms slowly until they reached the nap of her neck. “You are so beautiful, baby.” You tell her before she crashes her lips onto yours.
The kiss was instantly heated, you were very turned on from watching the scene Reneé acted in, so every small touch of your girlfriend letting her hands explore your body sent electricity throughout your body. Her lips made their way down your neck, kissing, sucking, and licking the spots you knew were going to have small bruises later. Your soft moans filled the trailer.
ReneĂ© pulled you towards the bed in the back of the trailer. Only breaking the kiss, once you made it to the bed, so she could take off your shirt, and your bra. “So pretty.” She said before taking one of your nipples into her mouth, and swirling her tongue around the hardened bud. With one of your hands behind her back to pull her closer, and the other massaging her breasts, you fell back onto the bed. 
It didn’t take long for both of your clothes to be thrown onto the ground, and your moans filled the trailer once more, as ReneĂ© drags her finger through your folds. “Fuck, you’re so wet baby.” Between moans you manage to say, “I told you, you looked incredible.” ReneĂ© chuckled, “Once again proving that you are a boob girl.” Her comment made you laugh, but it got caught short as she entered one of her fingers into you, and started fucking you at a fast pace right away. 
Your moans start to get so loud that you’re afraid that someone will hear you, so you pull ReneĂ© closer and crash your lips together to muffle the noises. You felt yourself nearing your high fast, as she entered a second finger, and used her thumb to run circles around your clit. “Baby, I-” Reneé’s darkened eyes meet yours, “Fuck, I’m close.” ReneĂ© fastens her pace even more, loving the way she can feel you tighten around her fingers. “Come for me, baby.” Her sultry voice brings you over the edge. You moan her name loudly, no longer being able to control yourself as she fucks you through your orgasm. 
You let your head fall back onto the bed, while you come down from your high with a heaving chest. ReneĂ© cleans off her fingers on the sheets, before she places soft kisses all over your face. “You did so great, baby. I should take you to set with me more often.” She says smiling down at you, admiring the way your sensitive body reacts to her soft touches. 
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