#aged 28 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kidovna · 2 years ago

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Mike and Will, 1999

#aged 28 #byler #artovna #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #I had about fifteen things I wanted to write about this #but I’m recovering from a fever and I’m out of breath and I’m gonna post this and lie down instead lmao #older byler

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giantkillerjack · 1 year ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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aromanticduck · 7 months ago

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Sorry if you're already over 50, I ran out of room (you're welcome to leave your thoughts in the tags or replies!)

If you're younger than 10, get the fuck off Tumblr. People are saying swears on here!

[EDIT: It's OK to vent a bit about negative feelings in the comments/tags, but if you're gonna talk about killing yourself, do me a favour and fucking don't]

#polls #birthdays #ageing #milestones #organic home grown content #for me (28) while there's an element of 'where the fuck did the time go?'#30 sounds all right. even kind of nice #you're still on the younger side of adulthood but you're no longer one of those 'barely an adult' new adults #although some people might feel that change at 25 #i feel like 40 is gonna be harder to deal with. that still feels like the age people's parents are #though it might look different once i'm in my 30s #100 tier #1000 tier #suicide mention

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doctorsiren · 5 months ago

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I loved your headcannons about inukawa, reigen and reigens sister and I would really like to see what you think would happen if mob and reigens sister met and I was wondering if you could possibly draw them :D

hello yes I accidentally made a comic after seeing this ask yesterday 😁 bro psychoanalyzed her 😨

#doctorsiren #mob psycho 100 #shigeo kageyama #reigen arataka #inukawa aneko #mp100 fanart #digital art #my art #procreate #doodle requests #comic #this happens after the show which is why the ages are like that #I was gonna make their ages be 35. 28. and 14.#but then I was gonna put a whole thing about how Aneko’s son is the age that her brother was when she had her son #and to be like ‘you can’t seriously believe your son won’t be different in 14 years time’#but I didn’t wanna make the comic longer so I opted for a post-show setting #there’s a Sakurai cameo because I love and miss him 🥺#remind me to never do comics with this lining brush again #my hand HUUUURTS #like it looks nice but GOOOODNESS GRACIOUS #anyways yes thank you for this ask #it would be really funny if it was really hard to change her mind #Y’know unlike the psychic antagonists in the show…Mob’s greatest reformation challenge…is Reigen’s older sister. who doesn’t have powers.#nobody tell her about Mameta and the UFO…she’d kill her brother on the spot #also don’t ask why I have Mob and Aneko’s name in first last format and Reigen’s in reverse #it just sounds…so wrong to say Arataka Reigen…it doesn’t flow as well… :(

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almondpiglet · 2 months ago

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just fooling around at the speed of sound... found a cool brush to play with...

#ah to paint messy and natural *smokes big joint* that shit hits good #yes i know reigen looks too cute in some of these i know!!! i love making him with lil round cheeks to pull and pinch!!#also now that im his big age i just draw him how i see other 28 year olds look... does that make sense?? hes very youthful looking to me...#last image was supposed to be them having a conversation but i forgot what i had them talking about... just mindless couple banter i suppos #anyone else like playing around with different facial features of characters like ur in a create-a-character... shits fun #think i took like 2 hours creating my first elden ring tarnished cuz thats like my favorite part to do... piglet has no life...#my art #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka #serizawa katsuya #serirei

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infizero · 7 months ago

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my interpretation of grian is like what if there was a 20 year old rave girl stuck in the body of a 36 year old uptight loser

#thats the best i can explain it #btw ik irl grian isnt 36 lol. thats about where i view character grian tho. similar age for scar maybe like a year or two younger. idk #its very important to me that desertduo are in their 30s and have crows feet and stuff #THEYRE NOT LITTLE 20 SOMETHING TWINKS. THESE GUYS ARE PUSHING 40. TO ME #<- within the life series itself tho i see them as younger. like maybe 28......?? at time of 3rd life #outside it tho in my limbo thats maybe hermitcraft but rlly just OC Land they are in their mid 30s #serena.txt

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sermna · 3 months ago

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I start school again next Monday :')

#at the ripe age of 28 #my doodles

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amaranthdahlia · 4 months ago

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kudoichi is serious to me in ways the human mind cannot fathom (art dump yet again below)

commissions

#edit: nvm im adding a keep reading gap #im just dumping everything #alot of these were made from me coping from ofa disappearing for good #third pic is how i officially draw+color palette #also the ages thing varies my hc changes from time to time aha so its more so 24-28 and 28-32 #kudoichi #duo holders #ichinii #yoichi shigaraki #shigaraki yoichi #mha #bnha #mha kudou #second one for all user #2nd one for all user #dahlia.art

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kyouka-supremacy · 19 days ago

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Me whenever I say that I'm normal about my favourite character

#osamu dazai #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai chūya age fifteen #mine #q.#28/11/23

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backpackingspace · 1 year ago

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listen listen I think Tim and Sasha should be in their 40s. And then you just have this obviously 20 something year old who's now THEIR BOSS claiming is 38 as if they can't spot a fresh out of college baby a mile away

#the magnus archives #timothy stoker #Sasha #jonathan sims #There's two peices of evidence for this first #Sasha “I've been in academy for ten years”#So she's at least in her 30s minimum #And “Sasha used the candles to spell out my real age”#Also you cannot convince me jon is any older than 28 and even then I'm like sounds fake man's is 25 #I will die on this hill #Martin “I'm only 29” Jon who's maybe 26 thank fuc #Plus the fact that most archivists in real life have a PhD so like if Sasha was qualified it would have taken AWHILE #also I just find this whole concept hilarious #Headcanons

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felinefractious · 1 month ago

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