#again...it helps to read the books.
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“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”
— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)
#dog books#this chapter was very sad reading#when you become aware of punishment#and its use and its prevalence#it's hard not to despair#again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution#maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did#what I did because it's what everyone does#because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else#I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice#this book was very validating#another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts#was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice#with Amanda Knox#it helped to ease the despair a little
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)
#HELLO back at it again#tug introduced groundbreaking new findings about soul permeability but my mind bypassed all that in favour of this au#the division of labour is as follows:#dulcie reads the instructions; snacks; and changes the radio station every time she doesn’t like a song#if you complain she will remind you she's literally dying. life is too short and mediocre songs are too long#pal gets stuff from high shelves and battles his constantly fogged up glasses#he tried to help with prep once and promptly got himself banned from using knives for the rest of his life#cam does 98% of the actual cooking#trivia section -#you can tell i am new to this because i arranged them in the wrong speaking order. let’s all practice our right to left reading#cam has a silly novelty apron because a) the idea was unbearably funny to me and b) i need to spread the gospel (aroace cam)#the cookbooks next to dulcie are ‘a few teaspoons of salt’ (by ianthe tridentarius)#and ‘saintly feasts: food for saints and scholars’ which is a real book! though not written by cassiopeia the first#*#dulcie septimus#dulcinea septimus#camilla hect#palamedes sextus#the locked tomb#field sketches#<< i get to have an art tag now!
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c. 1540 CE: a young man from Chalco, and his dragon.
#em draws stuff#em is posting about temeraire#temeraire#temeraire worldbuilding collection#⚬⚬⚬⚬⚬𐂂#<- tag for organizing when I'm drawing stuff that is temeraireVerse but not in the line of the plot of the books themselves#for school reasons I have been reading a lot about 14th-17th century mesoamerica#and thus am Interested in how that would have potentially played out in temeraireverse...#anyway! not sure if I'll draw these two again but I Have given the lad a day sign name (five deer) so I could Potentially. who can say.#haven't come up with a name for the dragon yet... maybe cipachcoatzin would work if can't think of anything else#<- Please Forgive My Dubious Command of Classical Nahuatl Grammar I Am But A Student#on that note zoomorphic interlace is not very much a style from this period/region but it helps me with composition things#five deer himself is mostly based on the illustration of the tlacuilo's son in the codex mendoza#the dragon is drawn more from a fusion of older scribal styles (ie. the codex borgia) and my own shorthands for dragon anatomy
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it’s time for another beatles dump
#this is stuff im genuinely not sure if im gonna finish#I just enjoy sketching really#also help the last one kills me every time I look at it cause it’s like that one meme of everybody is so mean to me#im just glad to be drawing them all again they do bring me a lot of joy 😭#and also im watching the anthology documentary and reading about their careers cause i got a book#paul mccartney#john lennon#george harrison#ringo starr#mclennon#the beatles#beatles#my art#hope u guys like whatever the hell this is#let it be
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Ok, but if you wanna circle that Siken quote around, maybe post the whole thing?
The second part is the important one.
Also, for those who still can't seperate fiction from reality and are obvi already pestering him, because he dared to name that ship:
#richard siken#shipping discourse#again sigh#johnlock#destiel#wincest#the ship is not illegal#but if you did anything Sam and Dean do irl it would be#all of it btw#but I don't see people getting upset about credit card fraud or grave desecration in SPN fics#weird huh?#ship and let ship#or block and blacklist#it really is that simple#also please read more books#that seems to be a general problem these days#I grew up with Bukowski and Roth and Irving#that helps
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Guys.. my bill personified.. my childhood crush has come full circle
I like to think this form is mostly just to make fun of Ford or to experiment on himself. Bill doesn't actually know how to use this form..
...
....Therefore he comes off a bit uncanny valley at times (he also just. Does not care about his appearance and it changes OFTEN when he finds a feature interesting)
#did you guys see his ford underwear HAHAHA#sorry if you cant read his text I like the idea of his voice looking different in writing? idk#tw g0re#slight nudity#tw scars#i tried not to be TOO gory...but trust me he does WAY worse with this form.#bill cipher#billford#the book of bill#bill ci the triangle guy#bill ci the demon guy#bill ci the all seeing eye#gravity falls#gravity falls ford#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls bill#gravity falls book#gravity falls it is good to be back#does this mean i make fanart for adventure time again help /j#also please dont hate me bc i made him a twink or smth.. sorry tumblr rotted me 😭😭#human bill cipher#human bill design#gravity falls fandom#gravity falls stanford#bill x stanford#stanford pines#billford fanart#gravity falls headcanons#tw scabs#trigge
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here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud!!
✷(print shop)✷
#mine#original#euheuhe hello..i hope everyone is having a good day#we are going on a bird boat thing on wednesday im very excited about it#what else.....me and my bf went on a walk on sunday and i saw damsel flies and shield bugs and a duck with 13 ducklings#i bought a jellycat sun bag which is now all i talk about#ive started reading assassins apprentice by robin hobb!!!! its so good!!!!#im so excited there are so many books in the series to read#i doubt i will like all of them but i will give them all a go#today i will stop and hve dinner n then walk the dog and then do exercise and have a bath#and then i will. play zelda#and then tomorrow i will do shop stuff and also help my mum buy a bench apparently#i need to buy snacks also. i hve a snack stash in my rooom bc of mental illness purposes and i am low.....need snacks#maybe i will do that tomorrow. brain schedule is full up for today sorry#also. unrelated. i have my period???? again????? ive already had it this month hello i dont need another im good im all done#my hormones r going ??OAGHGHGHUH#also i want like . cute bra. but like not a bra like just cloth thats like. tit shaped. a bralet? is that what that is? no idea#anyway. hve nice evening. or else.#i have a headache#OH ALSO. i need to legally chnage my name SKFSABJSBK#put that on th todo list#i cant rmemeber how 2 do it i think it was very straight forward n cost like. £10 or smth
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girl help I’ve become too emotionally invested in this sad gay book series about bastard lacrosse™️ and the yakuza
#girl…. help!!!#I’m rereading AGAIN#I have the audiobooks and so it’s just constant#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#tfc#tkm#trk#andriel#neil josten#andrew minyard#nora sakavic#books#girl help#reading#academia#academia meme#sorry to tag aftg and academia in the same post but it’s just who I am#kevin day#jeremy knox#twinyards#jean moreau#renee walker#the kings men#the raven king
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Minor spoilers for the already revealed chapters of the next A Starless Clan book Wind
#a starless clan#a starless clan spoilers#wind spoilers#asc spoilers#warrior cats spoilers#warriors#warrior cats#tigerheart#tigerheartstar#tigerstar 2#tigerstar#Squirrelflight#squirrelstar#frostpaw#Nightheart#I’ve been wanting to draw this ever since the chapters were revealed and what better time than like two days til the book comes out#i actually think tigerheartstar is an interesting character in this arc he genuinely thinks he’s doing the right thing and he does honestly#want to help. he just does it by trying to crack dad jokes to lighten the mood while trying to run a group that doesn’t want him there#i also think it’s funny that he’s consistently just chill with taking in cats thrown out of their clans. ESPECIALLY from RiverClan#don’t get me wrong he’s super weird in omen of the stars and avos and I think in his super edition (I haven’t read it in a while)#but he’s also a good dad. he’s such a perplexing character I can’t help but find him interesting. at least he DOES stuff yknow#I’ll eat my words if he does turn out to be completely evil or something. but I’ll hate if he does his behavior really isn’t like Tigerstar#-the first. this guy isn’t out here trying to seize power#but ENOUGH ABOUT HIM!! Nightheart asking squirrelstar if frostpaw could come to thunderclan with him was so sweet#i wish she’d accepted I don’t want them to split up I’m worried the writers will forget the entire last book and they won’t be close again#comic#meme#illustration
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A Series of Unfortunate Events liberated me as a child in the way that it shows how utterly incompetent adults can be about children, like none of them care to understand how these children are feeling because they don’t see them as real living human beings, because they’re just kids! They don’t know any better!
#God it irritated me whilst watching the show at times on how literally no one could manage to keep these kids safe but obviously that’s the#entire point lmfao- this shit isn’t happy 😭#Count Olaf when I catch you when I-#a series of unfortunate events#asoue#I don’t remember much in that show besides that I wished it had a sadder ending HELP?? I forgot the ending now….#Now I’m reading the books and I think people said the ending was worst then the tv show so maybe I’ll get what I wanted ☠️#I also forgot what was in the sugar bowl…. That’ll be fun to discover again
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Another thing that makes kaladin so painfully relatable is how much his mental illness hides his personality, because between depressive episodes and trauma he's this sarcastic little shit that smiles a lot at his friends and then the depression gets to him and all that disappears
#I'm dreading book 4 so much#my depression got worse while reading it the first time 😭#also I don't remember exactly what but multiple times he says stuff that i think too often and having a fictional character say that l#ridiculous stuff caused by mental illness made me feel even worse#it helped! because it hit me how stupid it is and that i should avoid that type of thinking at all costs! but didn't i feel like shit for a#while#now i almost finished book 1 and book 2 has Shallan's past 😬😬😬😬😬#can't wait to read again about her horrible childhood locked home with a violent father that take out his rage at her on others#that won't make me feel horrible at all!#it's not like i wasn't almost crying just at her getting an anxiety attack at the beginning#....these books feels awfully aimed at me fjskdks#the stormlight archive#cosmere
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i like to make fun of murderbot for being all "i hate everyone, i don't care about anything or anyone, fuck off" while simultaneously caring very much about the people around it and the situations it finds itself in. i love how it "accidentally" ends up caring quite a lot about the friends it makes along the way. but i think something that i tend to forget is that murderbot actively decides to care - at least at some point in its story.
idk, as a person that struggles with depression, this paragraph from artificial condition really resonates with me. prior to all systems red, murderbot had contracts. it had routine and it had protocols. it knew what it had to do to just get by, how to perform so no one would notice it had disabled its governor module. it was deeply depressed, yes, but it was functioning (for lack of a better word). in artificial condition, murderbot's routine is gone. it cannot go on in that state of numbly going-from-contract-to-contract, putting in as little effort as possible, consuming media to cope. that option is gone because it escaped (and note that escaping the company was not an active choice, it kinda happened to it). murderbot has two options now: it can either gather all its energy; actively do something new and difficult and distressing; change something in its life and try. or it can let the numbness and the emptiness take over and stop trying. if murderbot wants to survive as a rogue secunit, it has to try. no matter how difficult that is. the wording in that paragraph really hits home for me. the way the non-caring sees an opportunity to slip in and to take over. does murderbot even care? does anything really matter? is anything really worth the hassle? wouldn't it be so much easier to just let your mind slip away a little, to go numb, to be passive, to watch media and wait for things to happen to you? wouldn't it be nice to stop thinking and struggling and feeling complicated things? to stop making an effort? you've been dealing with a lot lately and maybe it's time to just shut down. maybe you'll just take a little break. just slip deeper into this chair and start the show. time flies when you're not paying attention. trying is exhausting. who cares if you don't do the things you wanted to do, you were supposed to do. it'll be fine. let's just ignore those things for now. just let the non-caring take over. just stop thinking. you can deal with the aftermath later. just watch your shows. who cares. but murderbot cares. it decides to care. it decides to fight with all it has and i think that is so brave. and i think in the later books caring is less of an active decision for murderbot. once you start caring, it's easier to keep going than to stop; and murderbot, for all its "i'm a grumpy rogue secunit, leave me alone" behavior, knows just how important caring is. so it's not that it doesn't know what's happening; rather, it lets itself care. tl;dr: caring is not the default for murderbot, it's just the more difficult of two options. and it decides not to take the soft option. it decides to struggle. it decides to care. and so it does.
#sorry i'm rambling i'm a little depressed rn (hah) and i've been thinking about murderbot again#at least writing this got me out of the adhd/depression paralysis :) yeah this might be self-indulgent so what#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#𓄿#i just love martha wells' writing for things like that#and i love murderbot as a character so very much#also i'm pretty sure some of this could be read in a way i did not intend#i'm not trying to say that depressed people have the option to just not be depressed#or that it's as easy as going “okay well i can either care or not care... i guess i should care! done!”#listen i know it's not like that; i know that first hand#but murderbot had just enough energy and fight in it to try and it had people in its life that cared about it and helped it#and it managed to get out of that deep dark hole#and we see it struggling with trauma etc in the later books#things are not magically better#just yeah#okay imma add#tw depression#tw suicide#(this is not about suicide though; this is about sitting on the couch while the dishes and the laundry pile up#and watching netflix because getting up and taking care of yourself and calling a friend or going outside are too difficult)#(but i can see how this might hit a little close to home if that is something someone's struggling with&better safe than sorry)#also sending lots of love to everyone who this resonates with
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Happy birthday to The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt! It's been 9 years now since its release. And it is still one of the best games I have ever played. As some of my oldest followers may know, this blog started out as a Witcher blog, purely dedicated to the Witcher 3. Since then I've met so many great mutuals here on Tumblr. And I'm still here lmao. I don't know...I'm just very nostalgic. This game really helped me through a dark time of my life.
#the witcher#witcher#personal#mistress blabbling#i really am gonna read the books again too because hnnnnng they are so good#callie i am still glad we're mutuals too for over 9 years we both helped eachother x333#you got my into giffing lmao
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Falling back in love with your craft
#svsss#shang qinghua#scum villain#you know i think about how Shang Qinghua had an idea for PIDW and had to forgo it to cater to his fanbase#and how he met a reader that even if he shat on it loved his book and even helped to bring his real outline to life#i like to think he got back into writing in his new life and gets to make the stuff he wants#he's not pressured to do anything but create and just#fall in love with the process again#im projecting#✌️ but seriously it makes me insane to think about how even if shang Qinghua made that whole novel his number one hater still read it all#STILL loved part of the book so much#like it just makes me think theres always someone out there thatll see a peice of you in all your work and latch onto it to love#my art#nibbelraz
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There's this moment in Young Justice #1 in which Red Tornado compares Impulse, Superboy and Robin to Id, Ego and Superego respectively and first I thought - nice parallel, that is actually a pretty smart and insightful way to look at these characters, particularly on their first solo issue... Then the next panel comes with Superboy's conclusion and...
This is the silliest comic book I've read in a while and I read silver age comics pretty often... you just can't take this seriously and it's lovely for that
Although I'm already a fan of Peter David, the writer of this series, ever since I read his X-Factor books at Marvel, I was still expecting Young Justice to be at least a little bit overrated (due to the absurd popularity of the main characters), but I'm having fun so far, this makes me laugh way more than I thought it would, the hype is real...
It's not a perfect series, nothing ever is and writers really seemed to struggle with what to do with women in these 90s titles (at least for now, in my experience), but still, Peter David writes the goofiest dialogues, smart word plays (and makes surprisingly accurate scientific references, which I do love to read in comics), and it's not without emotional sensibilities too, although the main focus is the lighthearted action and dynamics (for now)
I just wanted to write a little update and register these impressions!
From the first two issues of Young Justice (1998) by Peter David and Todd Nauck
#i'm having some distressing health issues lately and this kind of comic book helps to lighten the mood#once again with the freudian archetypes#peter david#todd nauck#young justice#superboy#robin#tim drake#impulse#bart allen#kon-el#dc comics#dc#comics#comic panels#text#reading log#red tornado#thoughts
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