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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years ago

Note

You don't need to write this if you dont want too because it's up to you but this is something wholsome

WHAT IF L!MC M!M & BBY A!MC BECOME BABIES AND THERE EVEONES HAS TO CARE FOR THEM,

I apologize for having such horrible writing and grammer. I never payed attention in school, nor could I afford to pay attention 👉😎👉

Bro I feel you on the not paying attention in school thing. Fear not, dearest asker, ask for demon babies, and since I am a merciful writer, you shall receive.

Oh Shit, Half-Demon Babies are Running Amok Send Diapers and Help-

Mini summary for the casual reader, L!MC is Lucifer’s half demon child who got summoned into the Devildom to be one of the human exchange students, M!MC is Mammon’s half demon kid, and A!MC is Asmo’s. Let’s get to the fic!

Ah, what a relaxing day... Lucifer was sitting back in his desk chair, enjoying a nice glass of Demonus and listening to one of his favourite cursed vinyls. He had done a damn good job on his work earlier and Diavolo had insisted there was no more work to be done and he could have the weekend all to himself.

Of course, his brothers were still a factor that could have ruined his me-time... on any other weekend! Satan had just gotten a new encyclopedia to read, so he wouldn’t be causing any trouble, Beel and Belphie were going to take that Devildom food tour, Mammon and M!MC were planning on spending the entire weekend shopping, Asmo and A!MC were going up to the human world on Saturday and staying until Sunday, and Levi... He got a sudden burst of inspiration for his Animal Crossing Island and most likely wouldn’t be leaving his room for the next month. Lastly, L!MC wouldn’t be causing any problems, his child would probably spend their time with him rambling about musicals or anime they had seen, and Lucifer found their intense interest very adorable.

Ah... peace and quiet...

...

...why did Lucifer hear crying?

There, standing in the entrance hall of the House of Lamentation, was Solomon, holding three screaming babies.

What, and I cannot stress this enough, THE HELL?!

“Ah, Lucifer,” Solomon attempted to wave hello, but needing to continue to bounce one of the babies on his hip kind of hindered the gesture, not that Lucifer wanted a wave at that moment. “I’m sure you have questions.”

After everyone had gathered into the living room, Solomon explained how a spell gone awry had hit L!MC, M!MC, and A!MC with the effect of turning the three into the screaming infants that stood (or... awkwardly sprawled out) in front of them.

On the bright side, the spell only had a timespan of roughly two days, so they wouldn’t be stuck like that forever.

Everyone sat in silence for a few minutes (save for the babies, who were still either crying or incoherently babbling) as they processed that information. Lucifer, ever the flawless older brother and leader, stood up and clapped his hands together once.

“Alright then, everyone cancel your weekend plans, we need to deal with this.”

Lucifer’s dearest little brothers all whined in protest, Satan in particular. “They’re not our kids, why do Belphie, Beel, Levi, and I need to cancel our plans?!”

“Satan,” Lucifer said sternly. “You don’t remember this, but it took six people to take care of one of you. The kids may only be half demons but there are three of them. We need all hands on deck. Besides, if you all want someone to blame, blame Solomon.”

Everyone turned and levelled their practically murderous glared at the sorcerer, who suddenly pulled baby A!MC into his lap and began to rock them back and forth.

“I have never felt more unsafe.” Solomon laughed nervously. “But you wouldn’t kill me while I’m holding my not-child would you?”

Asmo stomped over and snatched A!MC away from Solomon. “I can’t believe you- ACK! A!MC! Stop drooling!”

A!MC had a long trail of drool coming out of their mouth which caused Asmo to shriek and hold A!MC at arms length away. “Stop that! That’s gross, A!MC, you know better.”

The adorable baby continued to babble and drool.

Mammon picked up M!MC, who almost immediately stopped crying upon seeing Mammon’s watch, they began making grab hands at it. “Ah, ya want the watch?”

M!MC squealed in delight as Mammon dangled the watch above them, Mammon was delighted that his little brat still had their expensive taste, even as a baby. “Hey, look at me! I’m doin’ pretty good! Suck it, Asmo!”

As Asmo and Mammon bickered, Lucifer took the time to look at L!MC, they pulled at Lucifer’s tie and hummed to themselves. They were mind numbingly cute despite the screeching they were doing earlier. The sight tugged at the cold spot where Lucifer’s heart should have been, he had missed this part of his child’s life... maybe just that weekend he’d get a chance to-

“Solomon where do you think you’re going?” Lucifer was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed the shifty bastard trying to make his escape. “You’re staying to help manage this nonsense.”

—————

A!MC may have been an absolute ray of sunshine normally, but as a baby, they definitely lived up to the term demon-spawn.

A!MC would scream, cry and pitch a fit if they didn’t get what they wanted immediately, not that they had any way of articulating what they wanted because they were a god damn baby! Asmo and Solomon were at the point where they were just holding stuff out to A!MC to see if it would make them stop crying.

“Come on butterfly, don’t you like this... antique perfume bottle?” Asmo asked, A!MC took one look at it, then burst into flames and started wailing again. “For the love of my father WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!”

Now there were two sobbing messes in the room, and one was on fire. Solomon quickly magically took care of A!MC’s little fire problem (the baby was fiiiiiiine, demon babies light themselves on fire all the time!), picked A!MC up, sat down on Asmo’s bed, and snapped his fingers. Tiny balls of light gently floated into the air around the three, Asmo looked up from his pity party upon hearing A!MC stop their crying.

“See, you still like my magic, even as a baby, right A!MC?” Solomon asked, A!MC looked around in silent wonder, trying to reach up and touch the lights.

“Oh Solomon, this almost makes me forgive you for screwing up my weekend plans...” Asmo sighed in relief, he sat next to Solomon and pulled A!MC into his lap. “Not very colourful though, is it? Let me fix that.”

Asmo smiled as his own magic added streaks of colour, it was like their very own private showing of the northern lights. A!MC had on one of those goofy baby smiles that can make even the grumpiest person smile back.

Solomon and Asmo shaped some of the lights into shapes and animals, Asmo let a pink butterfly land on A!MC’s nose, much to their adorable delight.

“And that one’s a bird, and that one’s a giraffe,”

“That’s an alpaca.”

“Sorry, an alpaca with a weirdly long neck, oh! And a sheep!” Asmo looked down at his lap where A!MC sat and tickled their sides. “Everyone likes sheep!”

He then quickly shaped a ball of light into a scorpion and made it scuttle into A!MC’s lap. “But I have to say, scorpions are the best.”

The fifth born sighed in contentment as their sweet little hellspawn continued to watch the magic show. Never in his life did Asmodeus ever think he’d be this happy holding a baby, usually babies were things he thought should be handled with hazmat suits, but not at that moment. His little butterfly truly did have him wrapped around their finger.

“Asmo, hey, Asmo,” Asmo looked over at Solomon, who had a glowing triangle over one of his eyes. “Would you like to join my secret society?”

“Solomon, you are ruining the moment.”

——————

“C’mon kiddo! Eat your damn food!” Mammon once again tried to shove the spoon into his kid’s mouth with the same result as the 50 previous attempts.

“YUCKY!” M!MC shouted and slapped the spoon away.

“Here,” Beel took the spoon from Mammon. “Maybe it’s yucky like they said.”

Beel ate what was on the spoon, then smiled brightly. “You can really taste the mango!”

“See bud..? Beel likes it.” Mammon gestured at Beel, who was eating the entire jar of baby food as Belphie watched in amusement. He was such an asset to the team. “Beel! They need to eat!”

“Fine, let me try.” Belphie grabbed another spoon, and waved it in M!MC’s face. “Here comes the airplane... whoosh... whoosh...”

M!MC didn’t budge, Belphie knitted his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine, be that way.”

Levi pushed open the door to the kitchen, and upon seeing the scene before him, immediately turned and tried to leave. “Nope! Food isn’t worth getting spit up all over me-”

Mammon lunged forward, grabbed the back of Levi’s jacket and practically yanked him into the kitchen, he slapped a spoon into his hand and smiled. “C’mon, do a favour for your super great big brother!”

The third born looked at M!MC, who defiantly stared back at him, the baby had the upper hand and the little brat knew it. Babies were so much cuter in anime...

Levi nervously stepped forward and held out the spoon like a weapon. “O-okay M-M-M!MC... you need to eat your food... pls... pls eat.”

M!MC said nothing, they only did what most babies did.

...

They spun their head 90 degrees until the back of their head was all Levi could see.

Everyone in the kitchen stood in complete silence, until Mammon jumped a foot in the air and started screaming bloody murder. “MY BABY!”

He dove forward and scooped M!MC up in his arms, the baby, obviously freaked out by the sudden loud noise, had begun to cry.

“It’s okay! It’s okay! Uh... uh...” Mammon looked around frantically. “Hush little baby don’t say a word... papas gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don’t sing, papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring... and if that diamond ring is brass, butitwon’tbebecauseyouroldmanwouldn’tgetcheatedlikethat-”

M!MC spun their head back to its correct position, but their crying sounds were now several octaves lower... It sounded like if someone put a baby in the Darth Vader mask but without the weird breathing sounds...

Mammon looked to Belphie. “I’m blankin’ on nursery rhymes! Ya hafta know some kid songs!”

Belphie, after being put on the spot, suddenly forgot every single nursery rhyme and lullaby any of his brothers had ever sung to him. Oh! A song popped into his head! He could sing that!

“Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother forty whacks, when she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty one-”

“Not that one!” Mammon squeaked, holding M!MC closer to him. M!MC’s voice had returned to normal, the next problem is that they were only speaking in infernal. “Somethin’ else!”

“There was an old lady who swallowed a fly,” Beel began to sing. “I don’t know why she swallowed that fly... I forgot the rest of the song...”

“Dammit... Leviiiiii!” Mammon wheezed, desperately trying to calm the angrily growling M!MC. “Sing! Sing anything!”

“A-anything?” Only one song came to mind. “Uh um... With the doors of heaven and Hell barred, there is no other but the guard, Master of the Hellish Yard...”

Mammon lit up and nodded like Levi had just offered him a million Grimm. “Aw hell yeah! This song!”

He handed M!MC to Beel and began to dance and sing next to Levi, who had really gotten into the song as well!

“With those sins that you've committed, If you pay you'll be acquitted, and your crimes all permitted,” the two paused for dramatic effect before both belting out the best line in the song.

“ONLY ONES WITH CASH DO WELL, WELL AT LEAST IN HELL!”

As Levi and Mammon continued to sing, M!MC became so entranced by the dance, that they stopped their demonic babbling and just watched the second and third born dance and sing the English cover of an old vocaloid song. Belphie and Beel made brief confused eye contact to make sure the other twin was seeing the same thing.

The duo finished the song and took a bow, Beel lightly tapped M!MC’s chubby baby hands together to make it look like they were clapping. It was enough for Mammon and Levi.

“Thank you, thank you,” Mammon said. “We’ll be here forever, next show ain’t free.”

“We should sing The Tailor on Enbizaka next!”

“Levi! No! That song is like... seven minutes long!”

“Hey, morons,” Belphie stuck his thumb at M!MC. “They still haven’t eaten.”

Mammon’s triumphant expression dropped right to the floor. “Ah fuck...”

——————

“Satan, where’s L!MC-” Lucifer looked up at the ceiling of Satan’s room and his jaw dropped. “WHAT ARE THEY DOING UP THERE?!”

“I can’t get them down!” Satan hissed back.

L!MC. L!MC the BABY. They were on the ceiling. They were sitting upside down on the ceiling like it was an average Friday. Lucifer was too old for this shit...

“L!MC.” Lucifer held out his arms, L!MC squinted at him, that’s when Lucifer remembered L!MC was practically blind without their glasses. “L!MC, it’s your father, come here.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried calling them down like that?!” Satan spat as he quickly ran a hand through his hair.

Lucifer shot a glare at Satan, then Lucifer heard something that nearly made his (lack of) heart stop. Oh no- L!MC was yawning-

L!MC yawned and suddenly detached from the ceiling. Lucifer and Satan both dove forward to catch L!MC, which culminated in one of Satan’s piles of books falling down, but with L!MC safe and sound.

“Damn it.�� Satan grumbled as Lucifer shifted to properly hold L!MC. “This is going to take forever to clean...”

“That was clean?” Lucifer raised an eyebrow as L!MC began to fuss slightly.

Satan growled and rolled his eyes. “Yes, it was clean thank you very much. I knew exactly where everything was.”

The cat that unofficially ruled the House of Lamentation pranced into Satan’s room like it didn’t have a care in the world, it began to bat at one of the loose papers that had been scattered around the floor. Detective Toe Beans, you’re an esteemed detective, and technically RAD’s mascot, stop that!

Satan scooped up the cat and began to put the books back in the pile, when Lucifer noticed a familiar, beat-up old book lying near the bottom of the pile.

“Ah, I remember this book,” Lucifer leaned down and picked it up, showing the cover to L!MC, who didn’t seem very interested and continued petting the fur part of Lucifer’s jacket. “It’s good for a bedtime story, right L!MC?”

Lucifer tucked the book under his arm and turned to leave when Satan practically shot upwards. “If you think you can just take that out of my room, you’re completely delusional.”

“Are you seriously going to whine about getting a bedtime story for L!MC?”

“CAT!” L!MC looked over Lucifer’s shoulder and reached for Detective Toe Beans. “CAT!”

“Yes L!MC, cat.” Lucifer whispered to them, then turned back to Satan. “And if I’m remembering correctly, I used to read this to you. Do you really want to deprive poor L!MC of bedtime stories from me?”

“Pff... deprive...” Satan rolled his eyes and huffed. “I’d be saving them. You were the only one who never did any voices for the characters, I was bored to sleep.”

Satan walked forward and swiped the book from Lucifer. “If anyone’s reading L!MC a bedtime story, it should be me. I’m twice the storyteller you’ll ever be.”

Lucifer scoffed. “Ridiculous. We’ll both read L!MC a story and they can tell us who did best when they get back to normal.”

“Fine by me.”

The three (four if you count Bean) were soon seated on the couch in Lucifer’s room. Lucifer took the first story.

Satan listened along and absentmindedly pet Bean, hearing a story he had heard over and over again had managed to bring back memories of a time where he had significantly less control over his wrath. Every night he’d demand a bedtime story or he’d throw a tantrum unlike anything the Devildom had ever seen.

The eldest was always there to swoop in and read Satan a story whenever the little ball of seething rage looked ready to kill the unfortunate brother who told him it was bedtime.

It had gotten to the point that Satan could recite most of the stories in the book completely by heart. He chuckled under his breath as he remembered the time he matter of factly told Lucifer that he’d be reading him the bedtime story that night and proceeded to pretend to read the story of The Hydra and the Pufferfish. He hadn’t actually learned to read, much to Lucifer’s dismay, Satan just memorized what to say and when to turn the pages.

Though, it was apparently impressive enough at the time to warrant a head pat from Lucifer.

The fourth born leaned closer to Lucifer to get a better look at the book’s illustrations. They were always slightly off and strange looking, much like the pictures in the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark book that L!MC had given Satan for his birthday.

Lucifer abruptly stopped reading.

“Why’d you stop?” Satan looked up at Lucifer, then over at L!MC. Aw... Satan didn’t even get a chance to read...

“Our audience has fallen asleep.” Lucifer stifled a yawn and prepared to close the book, Satan quickly shoved his hand on the page to stop him.

“You started reading,” Satan looked away and grumbled. “So at least finish the story...”

Lucifer smirked and opened the book back up. “If you insist, Satan.”

————————

Yayyyyy! Babies! I’m sure the three get back to normal by Monday... hopefully...

Here’s a link to the song Levi and Mammon are singing!

I hope you all enjoyed! As of the time I’m posting this, the next set of Lessons 1-5 Headcanons will be out tomorrow at 8:30 pm EST.

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saksukei · 4 years ago

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mermaid san au pt.1 [part 2]

(slight mentions of abuse but please know this does not glorify or support it in anyway)

this is really short Bec I have so much work to do and It isn't that good. Once again this post was inspired by warmau and they are one of my favorite writers so pls check them out!!

other mermaid aus; yunho yeosang

Your uncle used to run this really big circus that was super popular

like he earned a shit ton from it

He had clowns, acrobats, trained animals, trapeze acts, musicians, dancers, hoopers, tightrope walkers, jugglers, magicians, unicyclists etc

and he was also occasionally nice but really ,,,,, he was just another one of those assholes who were cheapskates, who did not care about the damage they did and definitely had a superiority complex

You always used to visit him during the summer vacations just as you were doing this time

He hadn't changed a bit honestly ,,,, he had just gotten streaks of white hair

“kiddo, I got a big surprise–if only it works, our circus will become such a big hit and we'll become billionaires for sure,” he explained.

“what'd you find this time?” you asked. “please don't say it's a skunk that knows how to do tricks.”

“no, it's even better!” he exclaimed as you followed him to the back, to his cabin.

“its also a secret so don't tell anyone,” he whispered as he opened the door.

You went inside and you saw this huge cage with walls made of glass and water inside it. The water was illuminated by some light in the room, but aside from that it was just dark.

“step closer–the jerk doesn't move from his place,” your uncle hissed, as his phone started to ring. “i have to take this call, so be careful,” he told you as he left the cabin.

You inched closer to the glass, hoping to see something inside.

and then you did ,,,,,,

a boy with black hair and red streaks covering his face, his arms folded and–

THE TAIL

the black tail

you couldn't see it clearly

but you were surprised bECAUSE WHERE DID YOUR UNCLE GET THAT???

you didn't even realize you were staring till

suddenly

you saw a pair of eyes staring at you

HE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND OMG

melanin skin, a perfectly structured face, sharp jawline, a very visible Adam's apple and the curves of his muscles were very evident.

That jet black hair with red streaks of his was falling straight into his eyes and you made the assumption that the dude was an emo boy

You focused on his tail and it had diamond scales, black and red streaks just like his hair and it was so beautiful and magnificent omg

the boy looked at you with a certain curiosity

but then your uncle came in

“you got him to move!” your uncle exclaimed, causing you to jump up. “great let's take him to the other tank–” he called a few of his helpers and the only thing that you could see was ,,,,,

the look of betrayal in the mermaid's eyes that had trusted you enough to come close to see you

The next few days were awful

you couldn't get that look on his face out of your mind

like–???

and so you decided

When everybody would be asleep, you'd go out to the tank and find the mermaid and talk to him or whatever

and so you did

he was in this really large tank which was at the back

the top was open

so you climbed up the stairs that led to the top were a bit far from the tank itself

you just ,,,,, sorta sat there not knowing what to say as you fiddled with hoodie

“you know, I really hate that uncle of yours–” you heard a deep voice say and you looked up

the mermaid was right in the middle of the tank, doing back strokes.

“he's not that bad–” you replied.

“you're only saying that because he's your uncle but we both know he's an incoherent bastard–” the mermaid swam closer towards the stairs, where you were.

“d-don't say that, mister” you retorted.

“its San– not mister,” he told you.

“okay, well San ,,,,,,, I know my uncle sounds like this really bad man but he's just trying to make a living.”

“a living by killing– ironic don't you think?”

“fine, you win,” you sighed. “how did you get caught even? I thought mermaids never existed.”

“well, mermaids do exist, in a very large quantity too at that,” he explained. “i only got caught because I tried to save my best friend from being caught.”

“well, I'm sorry this happened,” you replied. “I'm afraid to tell you but I can't do much to get you out of here–”

“i know that– but for some weird reason I trust you enough to talk to you.”

“thank you for that–” you smiled. “is there anything you'd like that I can get? Food or maybe I don't know ,,,,, a seashell?”

He smiled

aND OH MY GOD???? HIS DIMPLES? HES A FLUFFY BABY IM– n e way

“no, nothing really– just make sure your uncle doesn't drown by accident,” he teased

“san I will kick your ass if he does.”

the next few days, you hung out with san late night

You found out that he had saved his best friend Wooyoung from being caught ,,,,, and like san is one of the most geniuine people to exist

he's so sweet, loving and caring omg

and you started feeling hella bad when in the mornings you'd see the entire circus practice and you saw your uncle train San and beat him up when he didn't perform

like your heart geniunely broke when you heard him yelp every time your uncle grabbed his hair

not only that ,,,,, you saw the line of purplish blue bruises staining his skin, even if he pretended they were nothing

and you wanted to literally push your uncle into the tank and say it was an accident

so you had finally decided,

you were going to break San out whether your uncle liked it or not

San didn't deserve this torture and you sure as hell didn't want to see him like this

you climbed up to the tank

“san–” you called out

“h-hey,” he replied as he got out of the water, as he came closer to you.

“san I want to get you out of here,” you explained. “but um can you walk outside water?”

“no I can't,” he broke eye contact as a sigh escaped his lips, “I'm fine here. I don't want to escape.”

“WHAT?” you yelled, a look of disbelief on your face. “san your entire body is covered in bruises, you're so much thinner than you first came here, heck i'd say you're practically dying,” you rambled on. “Yet here I am, helping you escape and you're saying 'no'?”

“yes, I'm saying no,” he answered. “i don't want to jeopardize your relationship with your uncle.”

“pardon my French but– what the fuck do you mean choi san? Do you think I care about some relationship when you're covered in bruises like this? I can't see you getting hurt like this– please. You don't deserve this.”

“i know but– you'll get hurt at the end of this and ,,,,,,, I just”

“just what?” you hissed.

“i won't be able to see you, anymore,” he answered shyly, as he looked down. “and I think that's worse than any punishment I'll ever get.”

#ateez imagines #ateez x you #ateez x y/n #ateez x reader #ateez choi san #ateez san #ateez fluff #san ateez #ateez scenarios #san imagines #choi san imagines #san x reader #choi san x reader #choi san ateez #ateez headcanons

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bronanlynch · 3 years ago

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recent media consumption summary

it’s been a while huh. sorry this one is all text but finding images takes up way more of my brain

listening: for some unknown reason I’ve had Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne stuck in my head nonstop for the past several days. sometimes you need to listen to ‘not like other girls’ pop punk from the 00s as a treat I guess

reading: making slow progress through Harrow the Ninth, I don’t understand what’s happening but I enjoy the vibes. this series sure can fit so many terrible woman

reread Six of Crows (and part of Crooked Kingdom) because after watching Shadow & Bone I missed my terrible children. forgot that Kaz is so much more of an asshole in the book that you get to see in the show and I do love that and think it’s fun when he does terrible crimes

also working my way through Lord Seventh because sometimes what you need is a BL novel about political intrigue. also because it’s A Lot easier for me to read things that are on my computer instead of in a physical book because reading a physical book is a commitment to closing my computer and only thinking about one thing for an extended period of time which is difficult because my brain doesn’t work

watching: Word of Honor, as everyone can probably tell from, y’know, my entire blog. I would say I’m sorry but I’m not, it’s not My fault that it’s the only thing I can think about or that most of my conversations with my roommate are just us saying “oh my god they’re in love” back and forth

Nirvana in Fire, because once again, love a political intrigue/court drama. I’ve decided that the reason I love that kind of story so much is because it hits the same part of my brain as a heist movie except slower, because it’s still all about watching a plan come together, except instead of lots of fast-paced heist sequences most of the action is people sitting in rooms talking to each other, and I am a very dialogue-driven writer and consumer of media

Shadow and Bone, like almost everyone else on the internet apparently. my roommates were like “Eliot you need to watch this show it has so many things that you like” and I was like “yes I’m already watching it and I read the books so I’ve been Waiting for this for so long.” anyway it was fun and extremely pretty, and it was interesting to see them adapt various parts of the source material at the same time, even if I think they sometimes did so in ways that will weaken later character arcs (if the Six of Crows character are Already this cool and badass and able to take jobs overseas, how are they going to have any growth left during the events of the books that are presumably gonna be next season’s plot? who knows!). my main Actual Serious Critique is that some of the treatment of race was. kinda weird? there’s a lengthier discussion of that in this article but Imo it was. kind of a weird choice on the part of the showrunners to depict racism as the two light-skinned biracial leads having people be mean about their looks, meanwhile there are plenty of other characters of color for whom that just. doesn’t seem to be an issue? especially when some of the racism towards the main character comes from other people of color? and that’s just kinda not addressed

had a Godzilla movie marathon with my roommates, we watched Shin Godzilla (2016, the only one we watched that was actually good, focused the most on 1) showing me the cool monster 2) the bureaucracy and corruption in the government response and 3) the actual human cost of that kind of disaster, I’m sure there are plenty of thinkpieces on American vs. Japanese disaster movies and how national traumas and tragedies play into that), part of Godzilla (2014, bad and boring and barely shows you the monster so we skimmed it), Godzilla: King of Monsters (2019, fun for a stupid loud action movie, they showed me plenty of cool monsters, the final boss battle showed my former workplace being destroyed by a giant monster), Godzilla vs. Kong (2021, slightly less fun and made less sense but there was a Godzilla mech powered by the brain of one of the monsters from King of Monsters and I think they should’ve done more with that)

I think the SamBucky show had one more episode since last time I did this? anyway the finale was bad. Sam’s speech about how the rich politicians suck was good but it came after they killed the people who were actually trying to help so it kinda didn’t mean as much as it should’ve. anyway here are two articles talking about how much the politics suck because wow what an incoherent centrist mess. also super fucked up to have a white guy who represents American imperialism invoke BLM as a gotcha against a Black woman who’s trying to help marginalized people

playing: entirely TTRPGs this time, sorry Daud. played more Beam Saber as usual, and also Breakup on Re-Entry and Tidepools, two-person games about the dramatic irony of having a mech fight with your partner without knowing their identity and about mermaid-human romance, respectively

making: Zan made bread from scratch and I turned it into garlic bread, I didn’t take any pictures because I forgot but trust me it was tasty

writing: nothing posted but Zan and I are co-writing a vampire AU because we are nothing if not on our bullshit at all times. we finished the outline yesterday and it’s 22 pages so uh. that’s sure happening. most of my writing recently has been for zines which I’m not allowed to share yet but when I can I will be insufferable about so. you have been warned

#dreaming.txt #tuesday no problem extended universe

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chanyoungies · 4 years ago

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bye bye 2020, hello 2021 !!

happy new year everyone!! there’s a lot of people i want to thank for making last year so much more bearable so i tried writing some messages for some of my dearest mutuals this year as well!! (keyword tried because i absolutely cannot put my feelings and thoughts into words. i love you all though and thank you so so so much!!!)

@angelhyunjin : angi!! i know you’re not on here anymore (actually i just found out . i ran to twt to find u as quick as i could!!) but it felt weird not?? putting you on here because you WERE a big part of my year!! i was always excited to chat with you and i rlly rlly loved (still do) seeing your art and your dance covers i can’t believe how talented at both you are!! you are really really lovely and even if it’s been a while i hope you know i still think of you and hope you’re doing well!! this year might have been hard but i hope 2021 will be much nicer to you because you definitely deserve it!! i love you!!

@cinanamon : stephie!! i think we haven’t talked in a while until we started suddenly bonding over minho but all is well that ends well because now we are the founders of a minho cult and that’s all i could hope for in life i think! we don’t talk that much but seeing your tags in all the minho posts is always a TIME i absolutely love reading them! thank you for being there to lose it over minho, always, but also for being there in general! you are really sweet and i do love to talk to u!! i also know you are a really good writer so i hope 2021 brings you lots of inspiration to write more!! (and i’ll finally catch up on your fics too! hehe) happy new year!!

@cocogoat : puppy !! i think we haven’t been friends for long actually and that sounds fake because that would mean there was a time i didn’t instinctively check your blog when i woke up in the morning (or the evening let’s be real)?? you are so! adorable and for what!!!!!! i really do love seeing you pop up in my phone notifs and reading your posts even if i dont have any idea what they’re saying half of the time unless it’s dgrp (i cannot believe i have a dgrp friend now. amazing i think i won) u are so funny and so cute and i’m really glad i got to know you because!! you’re such a nice friend that i! love! times can be hard but i hope 2021 is gentle with you because that is! what! you deserve! gentle pats and tight hugs! (maybe that’s why i associate ab6ix’s heaven with you it’s the gentle vibes) <3

@glossiers : miss bri i am in love w u that’s it. no i’m kidding that’s not it i have much more to say . i am in lov w u though #brillie2k21 i think. i think it’s been a surprisingly short time since we’ve actually started talking?? which is kinda crazy if u ask me because?? how the hell did i live my life without screaming BRIIIII whenever i see u on the dash like for real how . that sounds like a life so empty like. that would rlly be missing . something?? anyways u are a dear dear friend that i really really love and i’m sure you know that but i will keep saying it anyway! i’m sure i’m pretty annoying so thanks for putting up with me! and for talking to me! i feel like i’ve said it before but! you are a delight to see on the dash and i lovlovlov talking to u (and sending u pics of my cats, thank u for appreciating them). i still cannot believe u managed to convince yourself i was a hyeongjun stan though. hope i can be convincing enough to clear that up and leave no doubts in your brain this year. anyways i love you and i hope we can continue to be friends and talk even MORE this year!!!!!! happy new year ilu <3

@hwacinth : miss dia my sweet sweet floral nymph real life shirayuki and queen of urls! i am? so so so so so glad that we are friends you literally have my heart it is YOURS i can’t even try to claim it back!! you literally are shirayuki i don’t even know how to elaborate i think it’s just self-explanatory but you are just. such a sweet little sunshine!! it’s like you bring spring everywhere you go!! we could be in a middle of a metaphorical storm but when you appear the skies clear up and flowers bloom wherever you step and i cannot help but smile when i see you online!! thank you so so much for being my little ray of sunshine in these tough times! i hope to see even more of your posts this year!! don’t hesitate to live blog anything you watch in my dms if you feel like you’re posting too much (but i hope you never feel that way because you’re not . love seeing u live post it is absolutely amazing i won’t ever get tired of it)!! happy new year and i love you!! ps only 1 more hour until your birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIA ILUUU <3 I HOPE YOU CAN HAVE A WONDERFUL ONE!! IM SENDING YOU CAKE TELEPATHICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@hwisgf : sorinaaaa! happy new year!! we don’t talk that much but it is always nice seeing you around! you are vv sweet and i really appreciate that, thank you for taking the time to talk to me sometimes!! you are also probably my only fantasy mutual?? which is terrible on one side because i think everyone should stan sf9 but that’s besides the point . i really do love the fact that i at least have u to talk to abt sf9 if need and i LOVE seeing u in love with hwi it is absolutely amazing. i am forever grateful for all the free hwi pics days too!! <3 i hope 2021 can be a year full of happiness for you!! (also that is also besides the point but @ fnc i want an sf9 cb announcement) ILY!! (and so does hwi)

@inkigayeo : miss vivi galaxy brain happy new year!! we only started talking recently but u do have my heart already!! i hope this year treats you well and that we can get to know each other more and be friends hehe!!!! <3 (my other wish is for u to stop breaking my heart with those fake titles. please . why should san NOT come back explain yourself .)

@jeongcheols : mimi . mimi mimi mimi im literally typing this as u are listening to that ten n dj stage ok now it’s kai ok anyways . ANYWAYS i am loving your sm concert live commentary . criminal is sounding amazing taemin is insane indeed (yes i took a break before coming back to writing this) i truly don’t know what to say?? n i have to keep watching the time so that i can scream HAPPY NEW YEAR into the mic in 14 minutes. but like?? i love you?? like. like for real i don’t know what i would’ve done without you?? also it’s weird writing this for tumblr instead of just in your messages (also i can’t focus with idea playing. idea soty). and i mean. you technically know all of this but like?? i can’t believe we’ve known each other for so long but also such a short time at the same time like. what. thank you for being my bestestest friend and my soulmat i don’t think i would’ve been able to remain sane this year (and last year too honestly) if it wasn’t for you?? thank you for always listening to my incoherent rants and i’m always so sorry for spamming you while you’re asleep i know you must wake up to like 150+ messages with absolutely no connection between them and they’re all just so random i truly don’t know how you manage to not get annoyed and to just stay with me all this time i’m- getting emotional. you had a terrible year, i know it! i really do!! and while it might not be looking too bright right now, i hope the universe hears me and treats you much better in 2021 because!! you deserve so much more!! you deserve the world, really!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i would write more really but like what is there to say literally i’m just (your emoji)) i love you for real;;

@nakyngs : ele <3 happy new year!!!!!! we haven’t talked much this year but i do think of u a lot daily i hope you know that!! and i love u a lot! even if i still need to catch up on all your aus </3 i hope 2021 can be a fun and stress-free year for you!! and we should catch up sometime too!! ps i hope your fish are ok

@ncityzen : dear spring fairy!! i already sent you a new year’s message earlier today like what. 6 hours ago but! once again!! i really do hope you can leave the hard times behind in 2020 and only get the best things possible this new year!! i’m always very happy to see you appear on my dash and curious to see your life updates and your random literature-related mini-rants in the tags they are always very interesting to see!! so! hoping to see even more of that this year <3 i hope you know that i love you and i really care about you!!

@woojjongs : MISS IRI! i am screaming this very loud so hopefully u can hear me all the way in canada! okay i had to leave this one for last because i?? don’t really know how to start i’m just a pink glittery puddle with lil hearts flowing in it that is how i feel towards u right now . how does one think and how does one write down their thoughts coherently give me a second. this is going to be a mess maybe u shouldn’t read it (‘accidentally’ forgets to tag u). just know that i decided to play txt’s wishlist to write this and u might be confused by that but all u need to know is that it means i love you very much. OKAY so miss iri you are . such a wonderful pal i truly don’t know what i would’ve done without you like . it would feel so weird not seeing you around tumblr would be so so so so empty i don’t even think you can begin to imagine how empty i’d feel without you around here ksdjbskbds i absolutely adore you but we already knew that. i’m always super excited to see your gifsets and your nonsense!! be it your love for woojong or u missing lim jimin (play m.. 🔪) or your snoo brainrot or hating literally anyone on smtm or whatever else it might be i love it all!! you are so cute and adorable and talented and sweet and funny i cannot believe you also happen to be the prettiest person on earth too. how does that feel! anyways i love you so so so so so much? i keep telling you to hold back from committing crimes but i absolutely WOULD commit a crime for u i really do adore you!! i mean . how many groups did u make me stan . (ok actually i don’t think there’s that many. but STILL) i know i can be super annoying but thank u for taking the time to chat with me nonetheless!! i’m all over the place but . there’s times i come online literally just to check your blog nothing else! i hope we can continue to be friends this year too n perhaps talk more (or the same amount idk please tell me off when i’m too annoying)!! happy new year, i hope it holds wonderful things in store for u!!!!!! and we really are starting off great since victon comeback is approaching <3 (this got way too long i’m so sorry i’ll cut it off now before i write 10 pages)

@xiaocity : miss siya hello hello hello first of all i’m just so very glad that you’re back i l o v e you!!! i love seeing you around be it your gifs or your text posts which yes. i cannot properly understand half of the time but google is my best friend after all! you’re such a wonderful person and i’m just?? really glad to have you around like?? you feel kind of like a cousin i don’t always get to see but am always excited to talk to when i can? this might not make sense but. you are vvv cool and talented and funny and feel very like. reliable? i feel like i am not making any sense so like ignore me. what i’m saying is i really really like you a whole lot and i really hope we can talk even more in 2021!! happy new year, i hope it’s a wonderful one for you!!

@yunwoo : miss anna we haven’t been moots for that long and we haven’t talked much but u are vvv cute and i hope we can become (better) pals this year!! i’m looking forward to seeing u on the dash more often, hopefully!! happy new year <3

#happy new year everyone i love you all;;;; thank you again!! hope 2021 treats you all nicely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#there's like a few mutuals i rlly do appreciate but didn't really have much to say to/abt because we haven't really . talked #i really do love all of you though!!!!!!!!!!;;;;;

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grayintogreen · 3 years ago

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I was not technically tagged, but at least two people on my dash were like DO WHAT YOU WANT NO ONE IS YOUR GOD, and you know what? They’re right and valid.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

96! And 90% of them are from just this year. Can’t wait to find out what the big 100 is gonna be. Any one of my WIPS could be Disney’s next 100th fic.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

455,024 (also mostly from this year...)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

In my entire life??? Since I was twelve??? I don’t even know, man. I wrote a lot of ooc crackfic and fic for cartoons when I was on FF.net, and then I was on LJ and wrote for a TON of different fandoms, but on AO3, I have written for Critical Role (so much CR), Yashahime/Inuyasha, Guardians of the Galaxy, His Dark Materials (TV), Steven Universe, Bleach, Alias, Supernatural, Dollhouse, Pushing Daisies (the last four were all transferred here from LJ, though)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

- turning wine back into water (Critical Role, de-aging fic with plot, 30457 words)

I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE HOW POPULAR THIS FIC IS. It beat out two of my super popular GotG fics that have been up since 2017 BY A LOT. Apparently, there was a market for the Mighty Nein being adorable cocktail brats and saving the world. Thanks, Liam’s Quest!

It is probably one of the most wholesome fics I will ever write too. I love it.

- Sunshine Came Softly (Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket and Mantis friendship, 3188 words)

THIS FIC STILL GETS HITS EVEN TODAY. It was written right after I saw the movie so it hit hard and fast on the hype train.

- Mine Is Just a Slower Sacrifice (Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket-centric, 2248 words)

BOY YOU CAN TELL THESE FICS ARE ANCIENT BECAUSE I HADN’T DEVELOPED MY TITLE NICHE YET. where are the lower caps and Seanan McGuire lyrics!!

Anyway, this was written probably IMMEDIATELY after I saw the movie and had to process Rocket’s emotions during the last moments, because of who I am as a person. For what’s mostly a character study, it got some mileage on it.

- they drink dreamers up like brandy (Critical Role, 1625 words)

Back to Critical Role! I wrote this one when I was in a fucking blind post-finale haze and producing massive amounts of Kingsley content and I wanted to write a silly fic about Caleb being tiefling catnip.

- if adversity breeds character (we’ve character enough for two) (Critical Role, Beau and Molly-centric, 1824 words)

I feel like most of my most kudos-ed CR fics are Beau-related, which is funny because I never really wrote her EVER. I guess I need to write her more often. ANYWAY, this one got jossed immediately after 141, but I needed to write Beau and Molly bantering and I couldn’t get her flipping him off after revealing her card is Rumor out of my head.

(Incidentally my sixth most kudos-ed fic is my Fjorester next gen fic, WHICH I WAS NOT EXPECTING AT ALL. IT’S A FIC BASED ON MY OC FANCHILDREN!! I’M VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT!!)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Usually!! There are times when I forget and then it’s been so long that I never go back, but I like responding to comments. They make me so happy and I want to make sure the people who take the time to comment know that I see them and appreciate them. Especially if they give me long comments. You long commenters know who you are and I value you and also flail incoherently in your direction.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

God, probably this church takes no conversions simply because, like, the whole ending scenes are MISERABLE AND FULL OF ANGST and then it has the hopeful ending that is actually a bullshit lie.

But second place probably goes to what couldn’t i offer, what couldn’t i give, which is just misery porn in disguise as a character study. Sorry, Cree.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Okay, so back in the day when I was a tineh fanbrat I wrote a lot of self-indulgent crossovers featuring my friends and I in true Mary Sue format being ~saviors of the world~ alongside our favorite fictional characters and after I grew out of that, I very rarely did it again, because as someone who can only write AUs if they’re high concept and can only write crossovers if the canon welding is pristine, it’s difficult.

I have ideas for some! I just haven’t written them yet. Or they’re sitting in Google Docs partially written.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not to my recollection, which is insane, because I’ve written some things in my youth that deserved it, but also I was a kid, so maybe I definitely did not deserve it. Don’t send hate to kids!!

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

The first smut I ever posted on AO3 involved some fucking American Gods flesh horror shit, so that answers your second question.

Basically, yes, but I write smut to facilitate character development in a way that regular story beats can’t, mainly with characters who are in some way deeply fucked up and have unbalanced dynamics.

So basically chances of me writing smut that isn’t Creecien or Lucigast? Very low. (I haven’t written Lucigast smut yet but I will. Inevitably.)

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone’s told me, but one time when I was a teenager someone ripped off an entire group messageboard RP I was in and tried to pass it off as a fic they wrote.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that anyone’s told me!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried and it did not work out, because of (non-wanky) reasons, but it’s just not something I’d be very good at. I was the kid who wanted to work alone on group projects. I’m bad at group work.

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

That I’ve WRITTEN??? Because that at least narrows it down significantly. Sesshoumaru/Rin hands down. It’s a good dynamic and they’re fun and sad at the same time.

My self-indulgent ass does also enjoy writing Creecien though. I’m putting it out there because I want it.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

GOD POOR SUPERNOVAS OF ALL SOUND AND LIGHT. THAT FIC COULD’VE BEEN A CONTENDER, but I unfortunately posted it RIGHT BEFORE the White Diamond episodes aired and it became so jossed by canon so fast that I gave up on life with chapter two half finished. I need to delete it but I can’t bring myself to bury my shame.

15) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and meta-narrative and character-specific stuff. I go into every story with CHARACTER FIRST mentality, which is how I end up writing so many damn character studies or why my word counts explode. I’m just out here naval gazing because I love character stuff SO MUCH.

I’ve been told I’m good at fight/action scenes too, which... Shocks me, but I think watching and playing a lot of D&D stuff has really improved how I write fighting and action sequences.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

[whispers] too much naval gaze. dial it back, bitch.

I get really caught up in character stuff and forget to do important things like ADVANCE THE SCENE OR DESCRIBE THE SCENE OR LITERALLY ANYTHING. I also don’t think my prose is all that great, but I’m pretty sure every writer feels that imposter syndrome bullshit, so /waves hands. All I’m saying is I have seen some writers on AO3 who are writing some fucking vivid imagery and stringing flawless sentences together and weaving introspection and description together like beautiful baskets and they are stronger than any US Marine and I salute them and wish to be them.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Iiii try not to. There’s times where I want to throw in, like, a little Zemnian for Caleb flair, but I try to stick to things that are either untranslatable (like German compound words), common phrases (like please or come here), or insults/curses/ pet names. Things that I don’t think Google will fucking lie to me about.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I think it was a Sailor Moon crackfic about Haruka being forced to enter a beauty pageant which was just a blatant rip-off of Ms Congeniality and oh my god was it awful. I don’t even wanna talk about it.

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this church takes no conversions, probably BECAUSE it’s my little red-headed stepchild of a fic involving so many things that are just never going to make it popular (backstory fic, fic that is almost 85% headcanon, doesn’t involve popular characters, etc.), but godDAMMIT I love that fic so much. It was fun and I use every bit of that headcanon in almost everything like it’s my job.

shattered stage is a close second, because it was such a crazy concept for a fic that I PULLED OFF SOMEHOW and is this wonderful mix of crazy plot and character and lore and my three favorite tieflings having to work together. And also Jayne Merriweather as the main villain.

A lot of love went into both of those fics and they are my babies. this time next year we’ll see if I add Creedemption and shoot at fate to this list- probably. All of my epic long fics resolve to be my babies because I spent so much time on them, and I have to love them and cherish them because I raised them into gigantic wordy attempts to write a doorstopper.

#writing meme #my writing #shattered stage #this church takes no conversions

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schizosupport · 5 years ago

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hi! i'm working on a story where one of the main characters is schizophrenic. i've been doing a lot of research on portraying him respectfully, but not a lot talks about what things like disorganized thought processes feel like from the inside. i obviously want to write him without sensationalizing him, but accurately, so would it be okay if i asked you some questions about your own experiences with cognitive symptoms like that? if that's too personal, i'm sorry and i understand!

Hi there!! First off, that’s SO COOL!!!! There is SO little even remotely accurate and/or positive representation out there, so I’m always SUPER excited when I hear about someone’s project to write some.

disorganized thought from the inside, hmm, I’m going to try and explain some of my experience with it, but keep in mind that my disorganized symptoms are fairly mild.

First of all, disorganization usually gets worse with the level of positive symptoms. So some people are perfectly coherent while not in an episode, but then completely incoherent during an episode.

For me, though, I used to have lowkey disorganized symptoms all the time, and this is another possible presentation.

For me it’s like... my brain is slippery. I’m skiing down a mountainside, carefully zigzagging back n forth between obstacles, but the hill is too steep and it’s going too fast, and I keep slipping and gliding down the mountainside, finding myself in a new spot. So I lose my track, my trail of thought. And maybe a part of me was left behind in the spot I slid from? And it tentatively tries to carry on, but the more immediately available part of consciousness has already skiied on from the new spot.

And maybe each time this happens, new faint tracks appear. And maybe sometimes those tracks fall and crash, or sometimes they slide down into the main consciousness, and I go “OH!”, and remember where I was going originally at that time. These are the times I’ll blurt out an answer to a question asked hours ago, without any context.

And at the same time as all these tracks of *thought* are occuring, there is a right ole ruckus of noise. I don’t think in words, but in concepts. The words in my brain are mainly echolalia and little bits of old children’s song, repeated on top of each again, again and again, ad nauseum.

Imagine I’m skiiing down a slippery mountain and I have a one-man orchestra on my back.

And then sometimes I hit a rock on the track, and I stop dead in the track, and the music might even stop, and there’s complete silence as I stare into space. I don’t know what I was doing, I barely know who I am, I’m just a set of eyes, trying to decipher what I was doing from the direction of my gaze.

So yeah. It’s basically like.. there are too many tracks, and they intermingle, and everything gets jumbled up until I lose all track. I will think a thought, and while thinking it, another track will think “what if I forgot this track of thought”, and a third track will panic about forgetting, and the original trail is lost.

It’s frustrating.

Followers, can you help this writer out by describing your own experiences with disorganized thought?

Cat

#schizophrenia #disorganized thought #writing advice #answers #riverpersonn

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wainwrightjakobshammerlock · 5 years ago

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finally. i decided to do this. anyways hello there, i am jake and today i want to talk about something; you see, if you are in the tf2 fandom, you probably know about heavymedic. Wherther you are a hardcore gamer who resents f2p’s or a person that never played the game but has trillions of notes on their art- you know heavymedic exists and most of all you probably ship it.

And I find that weird. In the few fandoms in my life I have been in I had never seen a single ship be so widely if not shipped, then accepted. Sure, maybe everyone in the GF fandom knows what Billdip is - for better or for worse. Sure, maybe the HS fandom is 70% shipping.

But I have never ever seen such a phenomenon in a prominent multiplayer game fandom. A fandom, sadly, oftentimes filled with toxicity. Overwatch is very similar here - yet ships are either a hot topic of discussion or straight up ignored. But TF2? In here for whatever reason we ship these two mercenaries. And in this essay I will try and find a reason or two why is that.

Apologies for any mistakes or incoherency. English is not my first language, I need to ramble, and my vocabulary is all over the place.

Content warning: mentions of homophobia, blood, death, mentions of WLW fetishization, nsfw mention. Also MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR THE TF2 COMICS.

Part 1: Canonical Evidence and Interactions

Let’s be honest: I could ramble about this one for days on end. But I’ll try and keep it short.

First and foremost we have the official videos. And of course the first thing that comes to mind is Meet the Medic.

At the very start of the part where Medic himself appears, we see him telling a joke about a particularly gruesome situation to Heavy.

He laughs along with him, visibly enjoying his company. He even smiles as he waits for another joke. Heavy only shows genuine fear a lot later.

And of course this damn scene always cracks me up. Medic slightly pinches Heavy’s cheek and strokes his lip gently (the other part is almost not noticeable unless you play the video at slow speed).

Of course we all know about the Hand Hold that happens somewhere halfway in the vid. I don’t think I have to explain the gayness in that. The fact their hands stay interlocked even after Medic helps Heavy up. The deep breath Medic takes because even he cannot handle the emotions. That few seconds is unresolved sexual tension manifest.

Overall the short shows a strong feeling of trust between these two. Medic confides in Heavy and reverse. Yeah he puts a baboon heart into his friend’s chest cavity but the fact (as proven at the end of the video) that Heavy was the first one to have an Ubercharge implanted into him shows that Medic at the very least considers him a lab rat.

I treat End of the Line as non-canonical, as do many others, and as such won’t discuss it here. But it will forever crack me up that Valve endorsed such levels of homoerotic subtext.

These two have some short moments in other videos, like for example in Invasion Heavy helps Medic up (CINEMATIC PARALLELS) but it’s nothing major so I guess I’ll skip forward.

Second is their interactions ingame. You might call me a weirdo for trying to find stuff in there but holy shit I have things to say and I’m going to say them.

You thought I was going to fanboy over the “i love this doktor” voiceline huh? Well not really. I wish these two had unique lines if they assist one another.

Heavy is literally listed on the official wiki as the “ideal medic buddy” and multiple pages on that exact wiki say some pretty interesting things.

I have to say something about the Gentleman’s Ushanka and/or Pocket Medic. They are both community cosmetics - but the fact they both got accepted by Valve says a lot. Above is text snipped from the actual wiki.

Last but not least: The Comics. Darned comics. The pair of mercenaries has basically no interaction - unless you count issue 6.

Heavy getting absolutely PISSED when Medic is killed by Ch*avy. Their reunion. Medic referring to Heavy by “my friend” in a totally straight way. Kind of sad Valve wasted an opportunity for them to hug. Maybe they knew their comic artist ships them and wanted to avoid having to answer the Question™.

Part 2: Dynamics

This part’s a bit trickier, mostly due to the reason that I’m new to this whole dynamic analysis thing. Yeah I’m good at spotting canonical evidence but very specific shipping dynamics often escape my gaze.

The most obvious one is Big Guy, Little Guy. Quoting the TVTROPES page:

[…] This trope describes a pair of guys who always fight together, are best friends forever, and quite often have a very obvious hierarchy: The little guy is often in charge […] The little guy is usually listed first, since he’s the leader, and they are always listed together, as if they are one entity. In fact, some episodes may center on the fact that they can’t live without each other. […] If this is a case of Brains and Brawn, the Big Guy is usually the Brawn, and the Little Guy the Brains. It’s almost never the other way around, but in some cases the Big Guy can be rather smart too. […]

A sub-type of this, a common favorite here on Tumblr is known as “small chaotic big calm” and hoo boy if that isn’t these two. I don’t really have much to say here - again I am not an expert.

Part 3: Fandom Impact

So you don’t think Red Oktoberfest (as Heavymedic is sometimes called) is super popular on anywhere else than Tumblr? Wrong.

It’s hard to find TF2 fics on Archive of Our Own not tagged with Heavy/Medic. Of course most of them only contain hints to their relationship but go in the main tf2 tag and I can guarantee you, you’ll gonna see “implied heavy/medic” all the time.

But these two go further than AO3 or Tumblr or Instagram or whatever. They are recognized even within the wider circle of the fanbase. Take this SFM, for example. (I am using the Saxxy Awards version of Secret Lives here mostly due to the fact that the Heavymedic moment is much gayer. In the normal version, the dialogue isn’t changed, but they simply hold hands.)

youtube

But it gets deeper. (WARNING: THE GAY MOMENT IN THIS ONE IS NSFW. NOT EXPLICITLY SO BUT JUST A HEADS UP TUMBLR PLEASE DO NOT FLAG ME)

youtube

And the best part? The comments are extremely positive. You’d expect hoards upon hoards of homophobes screeching but no, the comments are supportive. Even on places such as Reddit or Youtube, comments like “yeah they’re gay and in love” do not get downvoted/disliked to hell; in fact the opposite.

Part 4: Canon Status

Let’s be real. Most ships are shipped because people want to explore the dynamics in fanfic, fanart or something else. But Heavymedic is shipped because… well, I have no idea.

Actually, I kind of do - but only theories. You see, while the canonical evidence is here, the creators have never said anything about them. No confirmation, no disproval, no hinting, nothing.

But the ship is so prominent! There has to be something causing this!- you say. And to that I present you 2 theories on why Heavy/Medic is so popular.

Theory number 1 states that we simply all choose to interpret their interactions as homoerotic. And this is very easy to disprove - there’s simply no way we just collectively agreed on these matters out of nothing. There has to be something bigger.

And theory 2 states that, well, our interpretation is the desired interpretation. But this is even more ridiculous than theory 1 for a number of reasons. If they are in fact gay, why hasn’t Valve made them canon yet?

A Theoretical Scenario

I am going to ramble big time on this one, so buckle up lads. I’ll discuss a theoretical scenario in which, well, if that was not obvious, Valve confirms Heavymedic as canon. Maybe then we will see why they will probably never do so.

TF2 is considered by typical capital G, alt-right Gamers as a “non-political” game. This means no women (in the game itself, at least, and if even, sexy women only), no queer folk and no minorities (for some reason they accept Demoman but throw a fit if someone draws any other merc as not being pearl white). Team Fortress 2 was around before Gamergate and other things like Gamers Rise Up. It’s a classic and Valve is regarded as the good guy to Epic Game’s bad guy. If Valve did anything to confirm doubts, wherther it be clearing up popular fanon or confirming ships, these people would throw hands. (Although they seemed to ignore when one of the writers confirmed Miss Pauling is a lesbian. Huh.) Even those that don’t play TF2 would come to the aid of their bros.

Let me illustrate with two very similar examples. In both cases these confirmations were the first made by the company as a whole, both are fairly recent and both confirm a character as gay.

First we have the confirmation of Tracer from Overwatch as a lesbian. It was done in one of OVW’s comics. Tracer is the FACE of Overwatch as a whole and while most of the fanbase accepted it (thankfully the Gamers are reluctant to infest ow), some people threw what I can only describe as a hissy fit. At least her girlfriend’s a background character.

Second is Neeko from League of Legends. Unlike Tracer she was added a while before it was confirmed she was gay. LOL is much more toxic and filled with Gamers than OW and holy shit people smeared LOL so much.

Of course these are not accurate to Heavy/Medic. In both of the cases I listed it was girls being wlw and we all know how much cisgender heterosexual gamers LOVE yuri porn. Apparently only girls can be gay because they can jack off to it - if it’s two guys then it’s disgusting. Nevertheless I think these are good approximations - in every case the company gets “shat on” on social media and other sites. With the community that Valve has, I think even if they wanted them to be gay, they would never ever confirm it.

Conclusion

I’m sorry for that ending. I had to theorize a bit. Regardless I’d love if you shared this on other sites, reblogged or whatever - I wasted at least 1 and a half hours of my life on it. Feel free to cite this as a source if someone asks you why you ship the big heavy weapons expert and the feral battle medic.

#my post #text post #tf2 #medic #heavy #heavymedic #long post

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tellmetheteruth · 6 years ago

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The GazettE in Dallas personal Live Report

I've never written one of these for a show i've been to so excuse me if it's clumsy. My concert buddies and I were aiming to get to the venue in the a.m. hours but Brittney and I took so long on hair and makeup that we didn't get there until noon. Oops.

It was Ridiculously hot and sweaty outside and I am not from Texas, i'm from near Seattle so i'm not used to it. And i didnt bring sunblock. My bf brought me some partway through the day but I still got a little burned. Met a lot of friends in the line that helped make it feel less than the 6 and a half hour wait it was. Signed the banner for the band and some Birthday cards for Reita.

The WT19 Documentary staff walked by with the camera and actually interviewed me! I thought I did well but my friends later teased me to death about talking too much and telling my whole life story so idk;;;; I still hope they use a bit of it because I didn't get in the WT16 dvd at all even though I went to LA.

I was VIP so the early entry was a lifesaver. Managed to be near the front of the merch line and actually snagged a Kai and an Uruha bear keychain. Ruki was sold out before I even saw it and Reita sold out a few people in front of me. I also got a tshirt and a hoodie but it was the bears I was REALLY hoping really bad I could get because I didn't own any yet.

And I still managed to get a really good spot after so I'm glad I didn't feel pressured to skip the merch line in favor of a spot. I wasn't directly at the barricade, i had probably 3 or 4 people in front of me. But to me it was perfect because I could see all the members without craning my neck instead of just the one close to me, and I was still way close enough to see all their beautiful faces in detail.

I don't rememeber the setlist in order whatsoever but other people posted it so. Anyway. Falling was Awesome and the first song after the intro. I was mostly distracted in awe just to be standing so close to them all. At the last show I couldn't afford VIP and I was stuck way up in a balcony. So this was just Surreal to me.

A lot of the middle is such a blur but I remember feeling like I had never smiled so wide in my whole entire life and no matter what they played I would have been happy. I was even So excited to hear Filth in the Beauty even though I usually complain about how overplayed it is. I know they played Dogma, which I heard at the last tour of course, but it was Way better being this close and personal.

Aoi is increadibly magnetic and attractive. There's no way to explain it. It's not just that he's hot- mind you, of course he Is, but.. something about him. The way he carries himself. Its hard to take your eyes off of him. The rest is pretty much what other people say, confirmed. Uruha makes a lot of Weird faces, especially during solos. But its super cute. Ruki has not gotten Any better at dancing and I wouldn't have it any other way. Kai is all smiles. Reita's always bobbing his head with the music like a little parakeet. I don't know what to say. Its all so much more touching being there to see it up close.

The last song of the encore was Tomorrow Never Dies and I was just.. crying the whole time honestly. Any final song would be a little emotional but they had to choose That one. It defeinitely got to me.

After the show VIP was immediately lining up for the meet and greet and I was confused about where to go. But we found it. I waited and took some post-show selfies with Brittney. The whole experience was just.. even more special being with my best friend after so long.

-The meet and greet.-

It was. Interesting. I was not prepared.

The line moved a lot faster than I was expecting and before I knew it my boyfriend pointed out that they were right there and Holy Shit he was right. I needed to get my gifts out of my bag and ready Pronto, because I made Ruki a drawing on the plane and I made Uruha a cute little gift bag with specially made stickers, a kitkat and a note I wrote him. (I wanted something for everyone but work got in the way and I ran out of time..) ANYWAY my baggie for Uruha got caught in the zipper of my purse. Like. Really caught bad. The line was still moving. Panic ensued. My boyfriend was behind me so i asked him to help if he could. He couldn't get it.

Then Aoi was right in front of me. The caught present would have to wait for later. I don't remember exactly what I said. A stammering excited ramble while we clasped hands. He was an amazing guitarist, beautiful, things like that. He makes eye contact. They all make good eye contact but especually Aoi. They all have soft warm hands. But each handshake passes in the blink of an eye before I can process it. My brain is a scrambled mess.

Reita. I thank him and pause briefly to think of something personal I can actually say to him. I gave an enthusiastic "You Rock", to which he smiles and agrees with a nod. "Yes!", he says. It was really cute. Probably could have said something more meaningful but at least i'm sure he understood me. Mostly everyone else got an incoherent mess of trying to say as much as I could in such a brief time period.

Ruki. I totally forget I have a present for him by the way. Im holding his hands and busy being Dazzled at how gorgeous he is in person. It's incredible. I tell him he's an amazing singer and i've always looked up to him. Throw in a few other compliments in the fleeting moment before I have to move on. Not sure how much he understands but he smiles and thanks me a couple times.

Kai. He's just glowing and beaming. Smiles so bright. Its very cute. I tell him hes an awesome drummer. I honestly forget what else I said. As I was moving between him and Uruha I remembered Uruhas stuck present. And that made me remember I was supposed to give Ruki a present. Oh shit. Panic. Reach in my bag and slide the piece of paper across the table to him. "Sorry! This is for you!" I don't mean to be chaotic I just really want him to have it. Luckily its my own boyfriend I interrupted his meeting with. Ruki seems amused and thanks me again. Hopefully he actually is and doesnt think i'm rude.

Fiddling with the god damned stuck gift bag as I step over to Uruha in a panic. Eyes wide. Stop to shake his hands. No freaking clue what I even ramble out to him I forget. Im panicking over the present because I dont have long til I have to go. I let go of his hands to fiddle with it again because I Really want him to have it. I worked really hard on it. I realize last second that i can just pull the gifts Out of the little baggie and drop them out on the table in front of him in a panic. "Kit-kat.." I drop it. He thanks me. Im sure I look like a mess. Not sure if he's frightened or flatterd by my determination as the staff starts to try to usher me along. "Stickers-!" I say as I put those down too. Really not sure he even understood what that meant. He might just think its a drawing. Don't know. But he of course thanks me. The poor staff lady is tapping at my shoulder trying to get me to leave. I still have the notecard that has to go with the stickers. I'm apologizing repeatedly to everyone involved as I finally get that to him as well and leave as quickly as possible so as to not cause chaos or hold up the line.

I get outside and meet back up with Brittney and my boyfriend who of course think the whole ordeal was Hilarious. I am mortified and I hope Uruha doesn't think i'm a lunatic. I like to tell myself he probably just thought it was funny but I have no way to know.

We all go to waffle house because its late and we are all starving. My boyfriend is in awe over how tiny Ruki is and he thinks its adorable. Brittney Genuinely misremembered and thought Ruki was sitting down at the meet and greet even though everyone else was standing?? We laugh our asses off. I'm still embarrassed but overall I had an awesome unforgettable night. I hope I didn't leave too bad of an impression. I'm sorry that was so long, i'm a writer and I like to ramble.

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helihi · 5 years ago

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Farewell OITNB - The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty

So... Orange is the New Black ended. I binge watched the last season in 2 days, and I’ve got some thoughts. The last season was def better than we had ben getting for the past couple of years.

Beware spoilers ahead:

The Good

This season was definitely better than... IDK everything after season 5? One of the main issues of OITNB had, as the show progressed, was the writers addiction with throwing new characters into the mix, and although that makes sense in context, it’s a bad practice for a show.

I watched Chernobyl after it came out, and one of the characters, Ulana Khomyukl, is not based on a real person, but a group of people that actually existed and helped Valery Alekseyevich Legasov. Though being mentioned by named would have honored the real people, her character worked perfectly for a show. You can’t have a huge cast, not only because you don’t have enough screen time to showcase all of them and present them as 3D characters, but also because it will detract from the show’s substance.

Well, rest assured that the writers of OITNB didn’t make that mistake, they dialed back to the most of the OG cast to properly give them a send off (Taystee, Crazy Eyes, Piper, Alex, Nicky, Red, Lorna, Cindy, Daya, Aleida, Gloria, Flaca, María, Dogget, Caputo, and Figeroa), while also giving the better of the newest addition a coherent plot line ( Artesian McCullough, Tamika Ward, Karla, and Joel Luschek to some extent).

Though I have a section at the end for how I personally feel about each character’s story lines, I have to say Taystee’s, Caputo’s, and Nicky’s storylines are the best of the season. T and Mr. Caputo’s stories are interlinked, specially with Ward’s, but they retained the original message of the show: the penitentiary system is broken, fucked up, and it hurts people (+ it makes corporations money, thanks to season 4 onward).

I AM SO HAPPY THEY GOT RID OF BADDISON SO EARLY, I HATED HER GUTS. Part of the biggest clean up efforts from the writers, was getting rid of people who would interfere with a clean and tight end, which included killing Daddy off (I’m so sorry for her), beating the shit out of the most unanimously hated additions of season 6 and throwing her off, and giving most of Max’s characters a secondary role or a background role (let’s be honest Adeola should running the gang).

Huge thanks to Larry for doing something right in his life: he is correct about Piper, it’s almost as if the writers were aware of how the audience views Piper.

Though some storylines hit you in the gut, they do stay believable. A happy ending for everyone was not only impossible, but incoherent with the type of story they were telling. I do have to say I’m not happy about a couple, but we’ll get to that later. (See The Bad and The Dirty section).

You got 3 main story lines:

Ice: This includes the storylines for most of the Latin American characters (Gloria, Flaca, Maritza, Blanca), Fig, n Nicky. You can find my thoughts in The Dirty Section.

The broken penitentiary system: which includes Caputo, Taystee, Dogget, Suzzane, Piper, Ward, and Lorna. I believe this is the overall main theme of the show and the one which was developed the best and most believable. On one hand you have the people who have their hands tied and still try to do the best: Caputo (who gets some small victories, but loses everything because of #MeToo), Ward (who did her best, but wasn’t enough against the corrupt system and the capitalist philosophy that runs the company), Tayste (who got life even though she’s innocent, and never got justice for her friend, but found a way to move forward), Dogget (who was part of the circle of poverty and abuse, never got rehabilitated [which should be the purpose of prison] and killed herself after being berated again), Suzzane (who got locked in prison, though she didn’t belong there), Piper (through her parole experience), and Lorna (who never got the help she needed.

The Diaz Family: Daya, Aleida, Taystee, and Dogget to some extent.

I am so happy about the Poussey fund, and that it exist in real life. One of the things this show has done is show light on a lot of issues in the penitentiary system to people who really don’t care about it, or are ignorant about it. I hope this show has more impact than the fund. I hope it actually gives purpose to new activists, but that’s just wishful thinking.

This show peaked in season 2, but I feel comfortable, and satisfied with the overall ending of the show. Also, the cast is amazing. I hope they do great things in the future.

The Bad

Hey, u know what could really be fucked up? Yo-yoing with Taystee’s life for an entire season. I hated how the show painfully elongated her decision regarding suicide. It felt like the show was purposefully hoping to tug at your heart, and during her 2nd round of goodbyes I was like ‘either kill her already or let her be’, it really pissed me off. I understand that she was put in a horrible spot, but narratively, it felt like a cheap writing ploy to get you hooked.

Here I am, still hoping the most disgusting guards get fucking sent to prison, but of course that never happens. I didn’t like Pornstache little moment at the end, I don’t care if he’s not harassing more women any more, he is just like Barney from HIMYM in a way: hey I have a daughter now! I get it! WOMEN ARE PEOPLE. It just sends a bad message, and it actually doesn’t show them viewing women as people, because they are probably one of those hyper protective fathers who are just a residue of the ‘women are property’ ideology that men have with their daughters. They will assume every man is like they were, and they will hate when some guy ‘takes their princess away from them’. Also, Hellman can fuck off. I hated him.

McCullough and Daya are the top tier worst decision makers. I don’t like where the story took these characters, and I hate the writers trying to justify it. McCullough had the chance to make the right call and she didn’t why? Hey, have a flashback that actually connects with reality but feels like a justification. Daya’s life has always been a fuck up, but boi did they need a villain this season.

Why did they completely dropped Maritza like that? People have been saying it’s because the actress is super busy, but man. Give me 1 epilogue scene. Hell, even that lady that help Blanca in the ICE detention center got one!

Also, I watched some moments of season 1 and 2, and boy was this season not funny at all. RIP to the casting as well, the flashbacks weren’t that impactful when the character is supposed to be younger but it’s played by the same actor. Remember the earlier seasons?

The Dirty

Okay, I’m gonna say, I’m not 100% into the ICE storyline. It’s brutal, it has things directly taken from real life, but it also feels like a writer’s shock value wet dream. Instead of showing the horrible and unsanitary way women, men, and children are kept, apparently PolyCon, or whatever the company’s name is, actually has more ‘humane’ concentration camps. And yeah I’m calling them for what they are.

One one hand, the stories are realistic: Blanca, who gets fucked over, but it’s able to get a happy ending thanks for the help of her old and new friends; Shani, who get’s fucked over and sent back to a place where they will kill her; Karla who gets separated from her children, even though they have nobody in the US; Maritza, who didn’t know she wasn’t a citizen; the lady who got fucking raped entering this country.

The whole ICE won’t let you get an abortion because they ‘care about life’ it’s like poetry, and real. The abortion debate is one the show kinda low key tackled, but nothing was better than that line.

FUCK ICE AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR. FUCK EVERY EMPLOYEE AND PERSON WHO LETS THAT HAPPEN.

The #MeToo movement. Hey, do you remember when they killed Poussey, and how that was supposed to be a Black Lives Matters reference? But remember how the guard that killed her didn't actually represent any of the people who really present a threat to actual black people in real life? Boi, did they fuck up there.

Here it’s the same, well kind of, this is why this is in The Dirty section and not The Bad section: Caputo learned from it, and realized he did wrong. However, isn’t it kind of ridiculous how we’ve been shown actual monsters: rapists, abusers and people who harass in other staff members, but the one who got hit was the one the audience is more empathic towards? Couldn’t you have picked Hellsman, Pornstache, McCullough, or some of the previous guards?

‘I mean, he fucked up, but he’s not one of the bad ones.’

I know it was one of the final rectifying moments for Caputo, but are all the #MeToo jokes a little daft at times, specially considering what Dogget had to go through.

Character focused thoughts:

Piper - Imma be honest with you. I never liked Piper. However, her storyline for the season is completely in character and relevant. It shows the hardships of life after prison (though we've seen that before), and how fucking selfish and idiotic Piper is. Bless her parole officer, she told her how much of an idiot she is. Forgive me, but I don’t like her ending up with Alex. Zelda was the healthier choice, but it makes sense for Piper to choose Alex. God, I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with her ever again. Though it’s true that her family was all repression and that conditioned her, after 6 seasons, you’d think she’d have learned her lesson how fucking privileged she is, but no. She’s still an idiot, I don’t care if she ‘got better’, she still choose Alex.

Alex - I feel bad for her. She’s got a lot of insecurities, issues, and she never learned how to deal with them. She fucked an officer the first chance she had. Her relationship with Piper will always be toxic, I’m sorry guys, but they are both deeply unstable. I’m happy she didn’t become Hellman’s victim, that was awful. I’m happy she's in Ohio. It’s safer for her that way, and she has friends.

Nicky - My girl, did they do you dirty. Though on one side I’m happy she took the mantle of ‘Mother Hen’, taking Red’s old role and showing how much she developed as a person and a character, I’m so sad that she lost her mother, her best friend, and her new love all in one season. She’s strong, the ending proves that, but I’m so sad she’s alone. I’m so sad that she believe she had done wrong to her family, but I’m happy she took Red’s advice, Lorna was too much. Regarding her plot line with Shani. I’m devastated. It was so cute, so honest, and caring. They deserved to be happy. This storyline shows you (in case you didn't know) how much of a good person Nicky is. I love you girl, I wish you the best.

Red - Another person that got fucked over. I am angry that this ‘dementia’ ending came out of nowhere. Am I dumb? Was it foreshadowed??? One one hand, there’s some people prefer this since it gives Red a peaceful ending. Her anger and bitterness will be gone, and she will have a peaceful death. On the other hand, Red will die not Red. She will disappear, and that’s just fucking dirty. I think this type of illness is tragic, and so painful to the person and to the people that love them. Thanks, I hate it.

Lorna - Is anyone else angry that her racism and her islamophobia gets a hard pass this season for some cheap laughs? Lorna loses her son, her marriage, and we get a flashback of her disassociating and some of a background story of why she’s so hyper-fixated in marriage and children, but still that doesn’t change how sad it is to see her this far gone. From the moment you see Vinnie, you know that’s not going to end up well, or at least it’s what I thought. Lorna is unstable, and she never got or will get the psychological help she needed. But worse than that, they took everything from her, and left her like a shell of who she was. Her racism doesn’t get a pass though. It’s shameful that a child of immigrants would act that way, specially knowing the shit situation Shani is going through. Though the show tries to pass it off as ‘jealousy’ it was completely dehumanizing, and it never gets addressed. Nicky never stands up for Shani and puts Lorna in her place. Shame on the writers.

Daya - Ok, Daya has been ‘how to fuck up 101′, but originally, her story was sad, and you rooted for her. Her family was fucked up, the cycle of poverty, the toxic environment, her abusive mother and stepfather explained a lot about her. However, Daya’s only good choice in the show was give her baby over to Pornstache’s mom, other than that it has been bad choice after bad choice. If you thought getting addicted to drugs was a bad look for her, becoming a drug lord is worse. I still think Adeola was a better pick for gang leader, but the show runners had to do something for Daya. I thought they were gonna set up a new Carol and Barb relationship with Daya and her mother, but that was not the case (actually, Carol and Barb never get mentioned, which is weird). I really hope Aleida killed her in the end. She spent her whole life complaining about her mother, and she became someone worse than her. Pulling your younger sister into the shithole with you? Low. VERY LOW.

Aleida - We all hated you. In fact, despite some good deeds, you’re still trash. Aleida is an abuser, a cheater, and a liar. She can use the whole ‘providing for the family’ bullshit excuse like Walter White all she likes, but you can’t dismiss her pathological need to do illegal things and get it on with the worse men she could possibly find. Her flashback regarding her mother explains a lot about her childhood, and how an abusive and toxic environment can create more toxic and abusive people, but Aleida didn’t get better, Aleida continued the path she hated. She may have told her other to ‘fuck off’, but she became her. No, she never became the pimp of her children, you got to give her credit for that, but Aleida realized she was a bad mother, and still chose the easy road. I really hope she killed Daya. It’s not going to fix things, but GOD I NEED THAT.

Flaca - I’m happy were she ended. Though her character was always comedy relief, her relationship with Gloria and her time in ICE gave her a purpose. I hope she continues helping those woman, and becomes the new Gloria of her generation. I’m sad she didn’t truly get reunited with her best friend. Show Clitvak hell, girl.

Maritza - I’m so sorry, baby. You deserved better, but your storyline is realistic, and there was no other way it could’ve ended. I wish we could’ve seen an epilogue scene with her. After all, she got sent to Colombia, where she knows no one. All because of a fucking piece of paper and a lying mother. ICE is so fucked up.

Gloria - I’m so happy she got released. Luschek can suck a huge dick, the least she could’ve done for her was let her have her happy ending. I feel a little cheated about her two elder daughters reveal, but I’m happy that after all she went through, she gets to be with her family. Of course Gloria would help the women in the ICE facilities, of course she would risk her freedom and happiness for other mothers. She made naive and bad choices in men, in economic tactics, but in the end, she redeemed herself and became a different person. I will forever be happy about the ending she got.

María - She’s a mixed bag. At first she’s like Daya, her love story with Yadriel made us all cry, and we all felt sad when he took Peppa away. However, turn’s out María is a cheater, Yadriel is high likely not Peppa’s bio dad and she never had the courage to tell him. I didn’t like her ‘bad girl’ phase, but I’m happy in this season she actually get rehabilitated. Caputo’s program made her realize she’s not just a victim, but rather a perpetrator as well. I know she’s not the best person, but she’s making a try. I hope she gets to be with Peppa when she gets out. I’m happy that she let Yadriel be happy, but then again, she was kinda a dick to Gloria until the last minute, sot here’s that bitter realistic flavor in your mouth.

Blanca - Honey, you are the person who deserved a happy ending the most. Though Season 6 fucked you over, you were blessed with Karla and things went your way for once. I can’t believe she got sent to prison for covering up for that fucking old lady. Blanca is a model, she went through hell when in ICE, she almost lost Diablo for good, and was in a very dark place before Maritza showed up. Though Maritza gave her her heart back, she was dumb enough to get a high over the phone number. SIGH. You deserved to be with Diablo, and though we don’t know how he got released, I’m happy she’s happy.

Taystee - I hated the yo-yoing regarding her suicidal thoughts. She wasn't going to get a happy ending. The system is broken and she’s another victim of it, but I’m happy she has an end goal, and she’s doing what she does best: finances, advice, and teaching. She got the best believable ending she could’ve gotten, and I love the fact that she’s there with Suzzane. She’s one of my favorite characters, and I’m happy she didn’t die.

Suzzane - I’m kinda mad they veered into Suzzane’s trial and conviction at the beginning, how they set up this conflict with justice and the system though her eyes, and then dropped it off for some comedic chickens. She doesn’t belong were she is, and her parents should do something about that, but that’s never going to happen. She has matured, and though she’s lost a lot, chicken therapy actually helped her, and she has a very good friend who will stay by her side till the end. I’m happy where she ended, and I hope she is still as bright in the future.

Cindy - Boy, Cindy. I kinda hated you after what you did yo Taystee, and though I have to say, she was put in a tight spot, I’m actually happy for her. From being comedic relief, to finding herself and her religion, to actually owning up to her mistakes. Cindy has grown a lot. I’m happy she will try to make her up to her mom and her daughter, I’m kind of sad she’s homeless. Wouldn’t that break her parole?

Dogget - She deserved better. We can all agree on that. Dogget was abused her whole life, by her mother, by her father, by her peers, by the men she liked. She killed people, became violent, and delved into drugs, but after 6 seasons she had sown so much development. I miss her moments with Boo, though I enjoyed her relationship with Suzzane. Nothing makes me sadder than Crazy Eyes placing and egg on her pillow after she has passed away. Like many inmates, Dogged could’ve been rehabilitated, and the system failed her. She never got her justice, and her rapist is still out there, free. She was made feel like shit by everyone, always, and though having her relapse is cheap, especially after all this time, it’s not unrealistic. That doesn’t change the fact that she deserved better.

Ward - She was too good for this world. From not being emphatic to the inmates to re-establishing her friendship with Taytee, Ward changed a lot. I hope she continues doing good for inmates as an activist. I’m sorry you never had a real chance.

Caputo - And the big bad man, became a ray of hope, a bastion of a redemption arc. He found a calling, love, and now a family. Joe, the ‘nice guy’ who got fucked by life and began to reset it, actually found the light after connecting with the inmates he was supposed to help. Caputo ay be the best written character in the show. I’m not a 100% happy with the #MeToo aspect, but that was the last learning chapter for him. I hope he finds a job, and he’s able to continue growing as a person. He’s going to be a great father.

Figeroa - Who could’ve guessed we’d stan the devil? It’s amazing how all it took was ICE for Figeroa to realize how fucked up the world is. I’m happy she’s deciding to adopt, and though I’m not sure if she’s going to be the best mother, she has grown a lot. I hope she helps people like she helped that woman at ICE. Thank you for not brining another kid to this fucked up world. You’re doing great Natalie.

Shani - She deserved better. Though a FGM storyline for a muslim is kinda stereotypical and awful. I’m glad the show actually tackled it through her relationship with Nicky. I’m so saddened by her ending, but then again, it was obvious from the begging. I’m so fucking angry and sad.

Karla - What was that epilogue for? Do you want me to hate life more? Karla might have the most realistic story out of everyone in ICE. Shit’s so fucked up, that ending scene was not needed. She deserves to reunite with her children, they couldn’t have ask for a better and smarter mother.

Luschek - Fuck him. His last act towards Gloria doesn’t redeem him. He fucked over every inmate who ever trusted him. His selfish, destructive, and toxic. He can rot in hell.

Anyways, I’m too typed out.

I overall give OITNB as a series a 5/10.

You have a very interesting concept with an amazing cast and characters that falls short to cheap writing and some terrible decisions from the producers.

I hope everyone in the cast continues to be amazing, and I hope more stories like this one are actually written.

I hope Netflix cancels 13 reasons why. Goodbye.

#OITNB #OITNB Spoilers #ne

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heathenarmyimagines · 6 years ago

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Title: A Different Time

Summary: It was supposed be a chill day.

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Taglist: @ubbesgirl, @shewolf2000, @tis-itheapplepie, @atequila, @demoncrypt1066, @greennightspider, @badbitsh13, @fireismysaftey, @minarawr, @laketaj24, @hvitserksgirl, @blahblahcookiesdoma, @fabulous-peasent, @sforsammmmmi, @minmiin1d, @courtrae89, @letsloveimagines, @tomarisela, @titty-teetee, @beyond-the-ashes@elenawrit, @mblaqgi, @whenimaunicorn, @chuflisworld, @mystruggledlife, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @syreni-dea, @trashqueenbitch, @alykatv, @mbaku-babygirl, @perfectus-in-morte, @beyond-the-ashes, @neeadinghugs, @readsalot73, @triumphantreturnofpies, @anarchy-is-coming, @tephi101, @alicedopey, @ivarslittlebadgirl, @jtrstp, @nejijjeoroo, @charlylama, @ivartheblessed, @captstefanbrandt, @fabulouschrissi, @ivarsrideordie, @3x5gurl, @the-writer-appreciation-blog, @lolabee9, @captainfoxy22, @young-ugly-god, @im5ftbutmythroat66, @bribyyy, @irishhiggins, @cadetomlinson, @keclleon101, @slutforragnarssons, @ltkeke, @meeeeeeeeeps, @lille-kanin, @opalscarab, @ssraven7, @ivarandersen, @concretewaywardangel, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @sharon-is-tired, @cadetomlinson, @mystruggledlife, @chuflisworld, @justmarissa97, @lol-haha-joke, @weirdly-randomly-awesome, @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanim, @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers, @alexa040004, @buckythetinman , @burntmythroatskullingmytea,@jorunnravenslayer, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @buffy-the-vampire-blogger

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven

Waking up you were confused to feel someone behind you and for a brief moment you thought you had let Alvin sleep over.

Then you remembered he was a piece of shit, so who was behind you?

You opened your eyes and turned to see Ivar’s sleeping face.

Oh yeah.

You turned back over and tried to get comfortable once more for a few more minutes of sleep, but that movement also stirred Ivar, making him pull you closer to him in his sleep.

It was then that something unmistakable pressed against you.

Your eyes snap open and you look back at him, yup Ivar was completely sleep and pressing a very distinct part of himself against your ass.

Holy crap what do you do? Wake him up and be super awkward or try to sneak away from him and act like it never happened.

There was no contest.

You slowly lifted the covers from yourself and then very carefully removed Ivar’s arm from your waist.

Ivar made an incoherent noise in his sleep and nuzzled into the back of your neck.

‘More…(Y/N).’ he breathed.

You froze, he was dreaming about you.

Well logically thinking it made sense, you were the only female, other than his enemy Lagertha, that he’s been around for a while and he was only now starting to experience arousal.

Still knowing he was dreaming of having sex with you was an odd sensation.

At last you managed to sneak out of your bed and stealthily you put on some sweats before quietly leaving the room.

You sighed in relief considering this a success, you were about to head into the kitchen to start on breakfast but you when you turned you met piercing blue eyes.

‘Sneaking away after a passionate night?’ Ubbe smirked.

‘Ubbe!’ you hissed, hitting the viking man in the chest.

‘Were you this aggressive in there with Ivar?’ he asked with an raised brow.

‘Wha-’

‘I saw him crawl into your room when I was on my way to the toilet.’ Ubbe interrupted your question.

‘Nothing happened, and I don’t want you telling the others otherwise.’ you said firmly, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

‘Do not fret, I will speak none of this to Bjorn or Hvitserk, it would lead them to think that you wish to be shared.’

‘Shared?’ you asked with wide eyes.

‘I am not as young and eager as Hvitserk nor am I as old and used to it as Bjorn, I can go without for a while.’ Ubbe assured.

You let out a breath you didn’t recall holding.

‘But I am the oldest of my brothers, and despite the war we nearly had, I do still want the best for each of them. I think you are the best for Ivar.’ Ubbe said.

You looked at him in confusion.

He motioned for you to follow him down the hall and you did.

Once you were in the living room you looked at the window and it looked like the sun was just rising, maybe six in the morning.

‘My brother Ivar has never shown real interest in a woman, nor any desire to be close to one. Not until we got here and he met you, I saw it when you saved him from your pond. How touched he was that you saved him.’ Ubbe started.

‘That the right thing to do, anyone would have done it.’ you said.

‘Not us, his blood brothers, no one back in Kattegat, not in our time at all.’

At that you were stunned by how harsh of world they actually came from, no wonder Ivar seemed to hate his disability so much.

‘Because Ivar is a cripple he lives and thinks differently than any other man, he has no choice. It’s why he’s so angry and violent, he has to be ready to fight for survival at all times. He doesn’t relax or trust; he sees everyone as a potential enemy.’ Ubbe said.

You sat there and listened, hanging to every word, for some reason you were eager to know more about Ivar.

‘Ivar...he trusts you (Y/N), I can tell, his face relaxes around you the way it did with mother.’

You saw that speaking of his mother made him tense and that he didn’t do it often.

‘You are what he needs, if he lets you...you can make him happy.’ Ubbe finished.

For a minute you sat in silence and let all this new information sink in.

‘I understand you Ubbe, I am the oldest and wanting the best for your siblings comes with the title; but at some point you all are going to go back to your world and I will still be here.’ you said.

Maybe Ubbe was right and something could happen between you and Ivar, not that you had even actually considered that there was, but why pursue it if it’s gonna end.

Ubbe looked disappointed by your words but he didn’t say anything.

You lightly hit his shoulder.

‘Come on, you can help me make breakfast.’ you smiled politely as you headed for the kitchen, thankful for a change in topic.

For the next forty five minutes or so you gave Ubbe direction and the two of you made pancakes, bacon, eggs and orange juice.

‘Thank you for your help can you wake up the others.’ you asked.

‘I’ll wake up the rest, but not Ivar, you can poke that bear yourself.’ Ubbe said as he left.

You rolled your eyes as you finished setting the table, just as you put down the last plate Hvitserk came into the kitchen stretching.

‘Ubbe said the food was ready.’ he yawned.

‘Yes it is, could you wake up Ivar for me please.’ you asked.

‘Absolutely not.’ Hvitserk smiled as he sat down.

You huffed as you left the kitchen and went to your room to wake up Ivar, which you really rather not after his body clock woke you up.

Still you had to wake him up so he could eat, so you opened the door to your room and Ivar was still sleep in your bed.

He was now laying on his stomach, one hand tightly clenching his pillow the other tightly gripping one of the bars of your headboard...he was also moaning a bit.

So he was clearly still very much so dreaming about you.

Slowly you approached the bed, not fully sure if you should wake him up or let him, you know, finish.

Then his soft moans became grunts and his grip on the headboard became so tight you heard the wood creak in protest.

‘Gods.’ he growls before he relaxes.

‘Oh my God.’ you gasped.

Ivar just came...for what you assume is the first time in his life... in your bed.

You definitely had to wake him up, if only to remove and wash your favorite bed sheets.

‘I-Ivar…’ you said softly.

When he remained unfazed you moved closer to him.

‘Ivar.’ you said again as you went to shake his shoulder, but just as you touched him Ivar shot up and gripped your arm. Fast as lightning he pulled you onto the bed and covered your body with his own and held a knife to your throat.

His eyes were full of anger and panic as he looked down at you.

‘Woah!’ you gasped in fear.

Ivar looked down at you and his face relaxed immediately.

‘Good morning.’ he said.

‘Morning uh could you move my kitchen knife from my throat please.’ you said nervously.

Ivar sat the knife on your bedside table and sat up a bit.

‘Thanks...so you slept well.’ you said awkwardly.

Ivar looked confused before he looked down at his pants and saw the fresh stain.

His face became red as he got completely off you.

‘Wait! Ivar it’s OK; I’m not mad and I’m not judging you.’ you said, putting a hand on his shoulder before he could crawl away.

‘It’s OK, take those off and I’ll get you some more pants and boxers.’ you smiled politely and comfortingly.

Ivar nodded but he didn’t meet your eyes, not that you blamed him, this shit was embarrassing for both of you.

You got the pants and silently helped him out of the soiled sweats and boxers before wiping him clean with a cloth, keeping your eyes on the ceiling, and put on the clean bottoms.

‘There you go, good as new.’ you smiled awkwardly.

Still Ivar didn’t look up.

As weird as it was for you, you hated to see Ivar looking this humiliated and sorry for himself.

‘Hey.’ you said as you sat beside him.

‘It’s really OK, its a natural thing that everyone goes through it at least once, even me.’ you tried to comfort.

Ivar looked up at you unsurely.

‘You have had dreams like this?’ Ivar said quietly.

‘Yes, and so has everyone else, its normal.’ you assured.

This seemed to ease his worries and he thanked for your assistance and you let him know the food was ready.

‘Then we should get to the table before Hvitserk eats our share.’ Ivar said before he crawled out of the bed.

You sent one last look at your sheets and decided to wash them later, as to not make Ivar feel bad after you had just cheered him up.

Back in the kitchen you held out a chair for Ivar and made him a plate before taking a seat for yourself.

‘What shall we do today (Y/N)? Go out and explore more of your world?’ Bjorn asked as he sat back from his empty plate.

‘Maybe today we could all just stay in and watch-’ you were interrupted by your cell phone rang.

The vikings all jumped looking around for the cause of the disturbance, and instead of calming them you joined the search.

You had sat your phone down somewhere when you all had came back home yesterday.

‘Aha!’ Lagertha said as she snatched the phone from by the dishrack.

‘Oh thank you.’ you said as you took the phone and looked at the caller ID, it was your manager.

What did he want?

You answered the phone, noticing how oddly the rest were looking at you.

‘Hello.’

‘(Y/N), I’m really sorry to call you while you are on vacation, but Logan and Dora both called in and Chastity gets off in twenty minutes to pick up her brother from the airport.’ he said quickly in his classic panic voice.

You barely managed to hold back a frustrated groan.

‘So you need me to come in Marcus?’ you asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Til what time, and who is my release?’

‘Lisa.’ was your answer.

‘Fine I’m on my way.’ you said before hanging up.

‘Dammit.’ you spat.

‘What was that? Who were you speaking to...where are they.’ Ubbe asked.

‘This is a phone, it’s how people talk to each other when they can’t see one another; that was my boss and I have to go to work. Despite it being my vacation I’m going to work.’ you rant.

‘Guys go get dressed for the day.’ you sighed in annoyance before heading to your room.

As you got you were grumbling and pouting as you put on you stupid uniform.

Once you were dressed you met the others by the backdoor, everyone dressed and waiting for you.

It only twenty minutes to get to the diner, but dammit you wished you had taken longer because you really just didn’t want to be there right now. You were a damn good worker, you knew it, but you were sick of being the go-to for when bad workers started slacking.

You all got out of the car and you led them all into the restaurant.

‘(Y/N)! Thank you so much for coming in, I’m so sorry but we need you here, Chastity just clocked out.’ Marcus said.

‘I would stay, you know I would but I gotta get outta here before the traffic gets too bad.’ your coworker apologized on her way out the door.

Your manager looked behind you at the group behind you.

‘And your friends are…’

‘I rented out my house to these guys while their visiting the States.’ you lied.

The restaurant was almost packed, but it seemed like mostly everyone had been served, only two or three tables were waiting on service.

‘Guys go sit over there and give me one moment.’ you directed before you went to the first table.

After you had taken and put in the orders you went to your table of Vikings.

‘Okay we are going to be here for a while, until then you guys take turns on the jukebox.’ you said as you put a five dollar bill in and showed them how to pick out songs.

‘Amazing.’ Ubbe said as he and the others hurried over to the machine.

‘Take turns.’ you reminded as you went back to work.

You went about work as normal as normal keeping an eye on your vikings, thankful the jukebox kept them from talking to the other guest.

Plus by some miracle they were picking some banging music, while you listened to the music you went about taking care of the customers and sent them on their home.

Once the restaurant was empty you went about your cleaning duties.

All was well until the drunk idiots came in, at two in the afternoon these two guys were loud and reeking of booze.

‘Hello, have seat wherever you like.’ you greeted professionally.

‘Wassup bitch, y’all got waffles in this crap shack?’ one of them said.

‘Excuse me?’ you blinked.

‘Dude, she can’t hear! Y’all got pancakes!’ the other one yelled.

You looked over at the office where you knew Marcus was still doing paperwork, no doubt he heard all this, but still he didn’t step out to take care of these guys.

Of course not.

‘Yes we do have pancakes, please sit anywhere.’ you said.

They took their seats and very drunkenly ordered, still talking crazy to you all the while, but still you held your tongue.

You brought them there food and sat it down.

‘Looks damn good.’ one said as he dug into his plate like a pig.

‘Sure does, are you on the menu?’ the other said as he placed a hand on your ass making you jump back in disgust.

‘Jumpy, huh?’ he laughed.

You were getting ready to really give the shit when he was suddenly snatched out of his seat.

‘Woah!’ you gasped as Ubbe threw the man to the ground and just as fast Ivar slid from his wheelchair and pinned him down.

‘Hey!’ his friend shouted standing to help, but Hvitserk and Bjorn and wasted no time in pinning the idiot to the wall.

‘Keep your disgusting hands off her.’ Ivar growled.

‘Guys!’ you yelled trying to defuse the situation but when Marcus actually left his office you knew there was no point.

‘What is going on?!’

‘He touched her without permission!’ Lagertha spat to your manager.

‘What?’ he said looking around in disbelief.

‘I- this creep touched my ass and then these guys just sort of- please don’t call the cops!’ you panicked as you tried to explain.

Dear God don’t let this chicken shit of a man call the police.

Marcus looked around, more panicked than ever before, looking from his customers being held down by your posse.

‘I...I am so sorry sirs, (Y/N) get your friends out of here!’

You manage to pull the vikings off of the two poor bastards and made them back up, Ivar took the most convincing.

‘I am so sorry.’ you apologized.

‘Just go home, I will stay until Lisa shows up.’ he said as helped the customers up.

You didn’t argue at all, you hurried the vikings out and into the car as fast as you could., panicking the whole damn time.

‘Holy fucking shit! What the hell was that?!’ you yelled as you sped out of the parking lot

‘He put his hands on you! We held our tongue when he called you bitch, since that’s how you seem to greet people, but he touched you!’ Ivar snaps.

‘Yes he did, and yes it was creepy as fuck! But you don’t just slam them into the ground! That is not how we handle things!’ you scolded.

The car went into a super awkward silence, letting you sit in stew in your own panic the whole way home.

#A Different Time #vikings imagine #ivar the boneless #Ubbe Lothbrok #hvitserk lothbrok #lagertha

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bushybeardedbear · 6 years ago

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Season 8 of Saltron: Laughable Disappointment

What follows is a stream of consciousness as I watched the series.

The TLDR? I am glad it's finally over and will always miss what it should have been.

It's another long one. But, I think it's the last one on this topic...

Maybe I can finally get back to writing fics. Who knows...?

I use the word mess a lot.

So, episode one. Months have passed as usual. And somehow the population of Earth, all crammed into a single base on the planet have somehow been able to produce an animated series. Earth is devastated, but there's still the ability to make cartoons. Somehow. It's as though the writers needed to tick off a “reference to the old series” and have only just been able to cram it in. Global devastation, billions dead. But hey. Cartoons. Yet another example of Voltron not knowing what the hell it's own tone is. Are we a happy silly space adventure, or are we supposed to be a bleak look at the horrors of war? Are we selling kids books and toys or are we forcing our characters to deal with global devastation and the loss of their lovers? Let's be both and excel as neither.

And for a show that isn't about shipping? Gosh they've already dedicated a lot of time to it, haven't they? Allura, Lance and Lotor, all major focuses of the plot. Oh and it's nice to see Romelle doing what Romelle does. Info dumping about the colony. “Before the Galra can reorganize.” Well, sorry Keith but it's been Five Years. Remember that time skip? If at least one group of Galra hasn't reorganized in five years, that would be absurd. If only there was some hint that the Galra HAD reorganized. Like a giant robot. Using the same magitech as the druids and Honerva. I know that as the viewer we're privy to more information, but sometimes they make the characters painfully stupid as to what's going on in their own reality.

Oh boy. An entire episode devoted to finding Allura a date outfit. For Lance. The boy with a lifespan of 80-100 years max. Whilst she could live to be 800+. We going to cover that? I mean, we had time to emphasize Pidge's age. We going to touch Allura's age? No? Ok, fine. We'll ignore it shall we? Do the writers assume people are too stupid to remember the show's own lore...? And look. More references to the old show. Remember the old show? Nostalgia points. Hey Pidge, having some fun being yourself? Well, make sure you give up something you love to make the popular girl happy. Arguably again but, doesn't seem like anything previously established or hinted matters. Nice. And I guess we know the names of Lance's family. Along with a nice bit of tell don't show. Lance is all talk and bravado. It's good of you to tell us that. Can't expect people to figure it out organically through storytelling.

And the only way they could figure out Honerva was behind a robeast...was via a cheesy death scene. Well, at least they didn't make the cast even more bloated and unwieldy. As for all the issues I've mentioned with Allurance before? Doubled down on here. Allura's not the strong capable leader we were shown, she was weak and in need of man to complete her. What a great 180 from powerful character to prize for toxic masculinity. And if you don't like the idea that pursuing a woman aggressively and jealously, even swooping in after a break up is toxic...? I don't know what to tell you. If you think this relationship happened organically and wasn't rushed? I don't know what to tell you. I don't think we were watching the same show.

However. I know me foreshadowing. Allura gives life. Allura and Lance photo. The flowers at her bedside last season that symbolize death. Let's see if they pull another “oh look, their relationship failed.” Because on screen romance is the kiss of death in this series. Also, the fact that so far nothing has even been hinted at Pidge's obvious crush on Lance... Yeah, can't say I'm surprised. I think maybe the writers forgot their own lore...

Oh, and off they go to space. What a great first episode. I'm so pumped to see the train wreck continue...

Is it just me... Or have they now made Honerva nothing more than defined by the men in her life...? So far her entire episode has been about how she serves no purpose without Lotor. Months she spent without purpose. This despite having knowledge of both Oriande and The Altean Colony via her mind link with Kuron... But suddenly, this fiercely intelligent multi-millenia old right hand of the empire...falls into a depression because her son is missing...? The most driven character in the whole series is just wandering aimlessly without the son that, let us not forget... She forgot even was her child for the majority of the show... I appreciate that they're attempting yet again to give the bad guys a little more humanity, but...There's a difference between a nuanced and rounded character and simply writing them to act differently at the drop of a hat. So, I get that they're pushing for her regretting that she had no connection with Lotor, that the act of coming back from the dead robbed her of motherhood...but in so doing, they're yet again doubling down on the fact that Lotor was always a victim of his upbringing. Or lack thereof. It feels almost like these sequences were written at a point before they realised they were going to make Lotor into Space Hitler. This screams redemption arc for a lost little boy being set up. Not the genesis of a heartless monster. Even their own backstory doesn't seem to gel with the show...

Well, I guess they answer the question of how the hell did a single nanny exist across multiple millennia. Dayak is a title, it seems. Not a name. That was a useful retcon I suppose. Maybe they should have thought more about their own continuity And yes, it seems everything Honerva is now doing she's doing for the sake of Lotor. Not out of her own capacity or desire. And Lotor, somehow bathing in pure life energy, is dead. And now, we have further proof that Lotor's story about being an essentially good person who had to watch a planet of his friends and allies burn. Again, this whole thing screams redemption arc. Where and how, after this entire process of being exiled due to his pragmatism, in being in reverence of Altea...did he suddenly turn Space Vampire feeding upon the very people he revered...? This episode gave the opportunity to make the Altean colony and Lotor using them as a vampire make sense. Instead it just raises more questions. It makes it seem even more likely that at one point Honerva was the one harvesting to make druids. That at one point Lotor was supposed to be redeemed. Then changes were forced. Or maybe a half baked redemption is still coming? Willing suspension of disbelief is utterly gone. The story is plainly a patchwork of mistakes piled upon mistakes.

A beautifully animated, beautifully scored and beautifully voice acted incoherent mess.

Still got time for that transformation sequence in the middle of an inconsequential battle that doesn't further the main plot and further doubles down on the problems caused by the five year gap. Do we really have time to rebuild the Voltron coalition and bring stability in seven episodes...? And what part of this actually benefits from the five year gap? “The Galra Empire is at war with itself” this scenario could have played out perfectly well during a civil war cause by Lotor's 'death' and Sendak creating a splinter faction. The five year gap was in no way necessary, as I mentioned in previous posts. And...do we really have time for an episode that's one long reference to Alien...? Even now at the half way point of the episode, it seems clear they're either going to find something that mildly advances the plot or else is utterly pointless. Do we have the time to waste on this when there are so many other plot threads that need tying up? Pidge and Lance's lion moments for one. Lance needs to use his sword. Ever again. Probably to save Allura, just to really hammer home that she's weak and incapable without him now. Whatever's going on with Keith is another. Maybe Axca will just info-dump an explanation. Or not. Are we just going to get a bunch of things unsolved? A bunch of things forgotten? Are they going to make this a to be continued in a new season...?

Well, there we go. The secret weapon made with distilled Altean quintessence. Now we know where it went. So it devours quintessence, slaughters Galra but just...pushes aside Paladins of Voltron...? Ok, so it's probably engineered to hunt Galra. Which makes sense, right? A Galra super weapon. That only hunts Galra. Ok, so now comes the info-dump retcon. Whereas previously it was created by the Galra base they were infiltrating using the Distilled quintessence... It was now found in the Quantum Abyss... And trained and engineered by Lotor to hunt Galra...? Sure. Whatever. It makes no sense and feels shoehorned into the plot. But sure. Rather than being pragmatically working toward an empire that didn't rely on using other races for Quintessence, Lotor was actually secretly making monsters to kill only Galra for the sake of genocide...? Nonsense.

“How do you know so much about it?” Good question Lance. And guess what? It's not actually answered in the show. Go back and watch the episode where Keith and Krolia found this thing. Any hint of it being a weapon Lotor created...? Any hint of it being anything except built or engineered on that base? I think you'll find not because they just forced this into the plot now. Who knows what purpose the creature was supposed to originally serve, if any, but this is obviously nonsense. And Lance is quite rightly asking, “How does Keith know so much about it...?” And it's because the writers needed to info-dump another retcon.

And just a small aside... Lance not knowing the difference between an Altean Hour and an Altean Minute literally contradicts what was established about his grasp of the time system seasons ago. He wasn't born yester-quintant. But now he's too dumb to remember time units. Because who gives a damn about continuity or character progression when you can just have characters regress...?

And why are they acting surprised that Honerva can build more than one robeast...? I'm so tired of seeing them all written as complete idiots. If Honerva has access to Altean Alchemy, and they know she does and access to the infrastructure and resources to build one robeast then it stands to reason she can build more than one... That doesn't even need a genius like Pidge to figure out. That's just common sense. That they've all now written to be bereft of.

And split up? Ok, so with so few episodes to go that likely means splitting focus from the Paladins and the Atlas on an episode by episode basis, most likely. Plus the obligatory “comedy” episode to waste yet more time that could be spent telling the actual story. Then everything needs at least an episode to wrap up...? Guess we're not getting the endings and tied up threads we were expecting. Or if we do it will be brushed aside. Like Keith's explanation of how he knew so much about the Not-A-Xenomorph.

Still, on the bright side? Only a few more episodes to go...

Oh wow. If the ongoing saga of the girl that used to be Allura who will live for millennia and the boy who will live for decades that used to be a character developing wasn't cringeworthy enough, now we have the characters just arbitrarily deciding to go to the one place in the entire Voltron coalition that the Robeast arrived at. Such a lazy plot contrivance. Lance is right. Why couldn't there have been some means of tracking a quintessence signature or some kind of magical anomaly intrinsic to the Robeasts that Honerva is creating? A magical element would have given Allura something to do other than pout. What they needed was something to give them a CLUE as to where they next need to go. Seconds, literally seconds after Pidge has pointed out the vastness of the universe and how unlikely it would be to find the robeast with not a single clue... They just arbitrarily decide to go to the planet it landed on!? What the actual hell, writers? Can I have a crate or two of whatever you were high on when you wrote this, please?

Transformation sequence. Because we need that eating up the run time don't we...? Yeah, it's a nitpick, so what?

Oh boy. Another planet massacred. Another group of allies lost. Cheap emotional tugging at the last hurdle when it's largely irrelevant. Not that I suppose it really matters. After a few months they'll be back on their feet and making cartoons again, just like Earth. After all, they probably all escapedor mostly did. It seems absurd that they couldn't have. They're one of the most technologically advanced species in the universe. Escape pods wouldn't be beyond them. Makes a damn sight more sense than last season where we're supposed to believe the entire multi billion population of Earth fit into those prisons. Billions are dead on Earth, remember? So, 'dead' Olkarion yet another example of the Paladins being given almost no hope of a happy ending short of a deus ex machina that will somehow undo all the damage. Or it just gets ignored. Because who cares about Billions dead on Earth? Or across the rest of the coalition...? Which raises another point... Why did nothing happen to Olkarion during the five year gap...? Did they even try to contact Olkarion when they emerged from the quintessence field...? Because it sure didn't look like it was devastated in their absence. It looked, until the robeast, pristine.

Continuity? What's that? At this point it wouldn't even shock me if they had Pidge wake up and say “wow, what a wild dream...” As the last second of the series.

How can Hunk still not be good under pressure, after he's shown multiple times...to be good under pressure...? To have developed as a character...? You know what, never mind... So wait, this whole episode was just to establish... That Honerva has access to a Teludav...? Is that really information that couldn't have already been inferred? An energy detected on the Robeast for example? Or just, I dunno, putting two and two together? What thematically was gained by Pidge's vision quest that couldn't have been delivered by some survivors? I know they're going for a noble sacrifice on a planetary scale, but... When the noble sacrifice is to deliver information that realistically could have been gathered in countless other ways... It just feels, like a lot of the plot now, forced.

Well, escape pods. Who could have guessed that? And the episode ends with them gaining a tracker. Something that was probably necessary at least on some level to make the episode make sense. Would it have been so hard to say that between Pidge and Allura they made a magi-tech tracker that just about detects the Robeasts and then the Olkari data makes it work perfectly? Nah. Let's just have them find the aftermath of a robeast attack randomly a split second after saying how absurd that would be...

Unique Energy Signatures Interesting. An energy signature that's unique.

And the robeasts have them. Huh.

You know what's really easy to spot in a set of data...?

S O M E T H I N G U N I Q U E

See, if you take the text so far as an example of background cosmic radiation and all the other stuff one might detect around Earth, the above two words would be a unique energy signature. Something not usually found in nature. Something outside the norm. Make's one wonder why there was no way to track these unique energy signatures before now. Say, with the Atlas or the established satellite networks around Earth. Makes one wonder why over months this data wasn't analysed. Of course, I'm assuming that anyone even turned on a scanner. Or remembered they had hands. Why would anyone think to scan space when a new an unknown enemy showed up. From Space. Don't be silly. That would require the application of logic.

And, I really don't care for the continued loss of time fixating on the MFEs and their wacky lunchtime with Axca... Or indeed all Axca's angst. Considering how much we still have to happen for The Paladins I'm not really feeling the need to develop a last second former general to be a half formed love interest for Keith. Basically following the same plot of learning to be more human and less angst ridden that Keith did. Well, this episode sure feels like filler. Random trap, with a bunch of old enemies. I mean, at least they remembered Alteans can change skin tone, I guess...? Just about the only thing that impressed me about this episode so far.

Well, that fight scene happened. Wait...left you...? The last we saw the two of them had blown up. And half of Zethrid's face is burned. Indicating surviving the explosion. Her entire crusade of gathering mercenaries, hunting Keith, the name of the episode being The Grudge... It all adds up to dead partner. But now Axca's saying... Ezor left Zethrid...? What the hell kind of absurdity is that...? She'll never take me back...? That has to be the biggest dumbest cop out... What could have been a really emotionally compelling look at a “bad guy” having more nuanced motivations... Made Zethrid look like she was having a tantrum.

And still, nothing of the wider plot advances. More filler.

Gosh, this mostly static series of shots of Allura telling us what's happening at Oriande sure is engaging. Thank goodness this isn't in a visual medium or we might have been shown this rather than told... And another big rousing speech about end the war. That will result in the war not ending, if any of the previous times were anything to go by. Except this is the last season, so... This time doing the same thing has to work.

Well, I'm surprised we didn't get two transformation sequences in a row. I would have thought that would be the best use of their time. Also, whilst I see the thematic necessity of Allura in charge, I'm not sure how the plot really justified it. And is it just me, or did Ezor always seem a bit...pasted in place and static...? Not even sure the voice was the same, maybe it's just me... Still no Lance and Pidge Lion connection. Just an aside really. Not sure if we'll ever see it at this stage.

And again, maybe this is just me... But surely we can only feel like every reality is under threat is a big deal once in the same show, right? One also has to wonder that given access to the same alchemical ability and greater knowledge, that Honerva could have retrieved the Sincline with... Another similar mech...? Seems like an unnecessarily massive ritual just to bring probably not Lotor back. Or was bringing him back just part of it and the majority was to collapse the white hole...? She's just controlling him...? Because why not. All this guilt and need to save her son, this massive magical ritual was just... To get a puppet Lotor and to kill the White Lion...? And damage reality in the process? Or is this just the classic trope of screw you all I'm destroying everything?

I mean, I know that these episodes want to keep you guessing, but... Maybe just a touch of explaining what all the bright beams of light and particle effects are would be good...? And preferably not sat at a conference table telling us but through the story showing us. At least the plot has advanced. I guess it's now time for the comedy episode to destroy the flow...?

Well, seems like another filler episode. I really wanted an entire episode dedicated to a secondary character when there's already plenty of Paladin's stories left to tell. And the interview format is still more excuses for tell don't show as people talk at the screen to deliver information without it seeming artificial. The absurd necessities to make the found footage format work always bugs me. There's no difference here. I'm just not feeling Cloverfield but Voltron. I can't deny that it's been animated well, but, I'm tired of filler. And this season so far has been the vast majority filler.

If you want to do dramatic framing and filming, keeping one character in shot and then another, then swapping back... Then clearly your camera has a dramatically appropriate setting that works in micro gravity. If you're going to do found footage, don't also drop the ball and include impossible camera movements.

Honestly, Coran retelling the whole series would have been more entertaining than what it has been so far. But for what it's worth, the world building, finding out Colleen Holt is a biologist / geneticist of some considerable skill? Yeah. Interesting. But...how late in the game are we to be finding all this out...? Doesn't world building usually happen throughout, dotted about organically? This all just feels like... Here's some stuff we never got to mention before now. All delivered in a really artificial seeming way...

Adjusting for long range parameters...?

You're in orbit. Your ship can communicate over light years with no signal delay. Orbit is not long range for The Atlas. Just say you're adjusting for interference...

Also, they are finding new and creative ways to have meetings around a big table. The most riveting part of this show. Watch in wonder as three static characters hover over an action scene interspersed with static. Wonder if next time we'll get to see someone make coffee for the meeting. Puzzle over the filler to plot ratio. Thank characters talking directly to the screen telling us the status of questioning prisoners of war that could have been delivered in countless other ways. Wouldn't that conversation with the Altean have been more interesting if delivered in the interrogation room rather than through two cameras...?

Still not going to touch the lifespan gap? Ok.

And holy crap use Hunk more. That desert part? Brilliant. An actual stand out moment that shows his compassion and his intellect. Not just being a big worrying goof who eats. Finally, something I can genuinely praise in this whole mess. They haven't ignored Hunk. That was a wonderful moment, breaking barriers with cookies. And so far, in terms of writing, 100% the best part of the whole series. One diamond in all the rough... Or maybe something of more value than a diamond. Like a good writer on the Voltron team...

“Winning prizes is my speciality.” Uhuh. Once someone has been rendered a prize I guess.

And now it's time for yet another filler episode interspersed with a little plot. Sorry, by plot I mean an info dump. This time from “Lotor” or a vision of him at least. Lecturing us about the void creatures. It's about time they got brought up again. But thanks writers for yet again delivering that information and story in the least engaging possible way.

It's nice seeing the characters have a little fun. I won't deny it. I personally don't buy how eager Pidge is to help Lance out on his shiny thing for Allura quest... But, at this stage I think I should just cast aside anything that might have previously been established about the characters and just assume stuff will happen at the writer's whims. If I'm lucky, it will be entertaining. Maybe the inconsistency comes from writing? Or animators not being given clear direction by writers? Or executive meddling. Maybe I also think it's cheating to use a robot arm that has no resistance in an arm wrestling contest. Shiro's body provides no leverage. It's all down to the hand unit, but nobody brings that up in the show. Even though they should.

Also not digging the using both the men in her life to tempt Allura. It kinda draws even more attention to how flighty they made her. How sudden and how jarring her reciprocating Lance's feelings was when they first seeded it at the Omega Shield. One big gesture to win his prize. It's all so skin crawling. So diminishing for both her and for Lance. Honerva, through the void creature, can presumably see this in her mind. Why else would she shift between the two men? It's almost as though the show itself is acknowledging they made Allura indecisive, flighty, weak to temptation and easily manipulated. And then she puts her hand to the glass. Then takes what is effectively a demon into her, that she knows allows Honerva to kill a host at will. I mean, at least they included her Mother, rather than Alfor. That's something I suppose, to indicate that her entire character isn't solely defined by the men in her life now. Though, it's small comfort. I mean, I get that she's being manipulated. I get that she's being tempted. But she's not Allura any longer. Allura was the incredibly strong willed last daughter of a dead world. A genocide survivor who came out fighting. The princess who gave up her last vestiges of her royal office for her friend to have an arm. The woman who killed the last remnants of her own Father's uploaded mind. Allura is strong willed. Stronger willed than any of us could dream of being. Or at least she was. Much as they now try to devalue her in the show... She united two thirds of the Universe under the Voltron coalition. Now what is she...? A damsel in distress who's going to need to be saved from her own weakness and a prize to the nice boy. And I'd put money on Lance using his Altean Broadsword to save her, just to hammer that home.

Of all the awful choices the writers have made, destroying Allura is probably the worst. You'd think I'd say Plance, but you'd be wrong. As I've always said, I'd rather not have it be canon at all than have it be badly written crap. So even if somehow Plance is super late end game, it will be just a shoddily written piece of crap on top of a giant shitty cake. So I wanted to take my victories where I could. I wanted to hope that maybe Allura could be Allura again at the last hurdle. Nope. Destroyed.

And credit where it's due? That overly bombastic anime-as-fuck arm wrestle, complete with foe with a heart of gold trope played for laughs? Yeah. That was fun. It's not like they can't do moments. I will admit that. They have some among the writing staff who make wonderful moments. It's just a shame those moments are mired in so much dross...

That touch of self awareness about the robot arm from Iverson I appreciated. Again. Moments. The entire concept of using a void creature combined with Voltron's joining of minds seems like the worst idea ever. It puts them all in jeopardy. Lance is being the only sensible one there. Which is rare to say. It also doesn't feel like he's doing it purely out of his feelings for her. Just common sense. Also, I feel like the Astral Lions moment would have carried a little more oomph if... Lance and Pidge had had their Lion Bond moment. I'm going to keep coming back to that. Because it feels very present in it's absence. It feels as if it has been either removed or else forgotten.

The battle with their alternate selves was fascinating. One of the few fight scenes that acutally wasn't boring this season. Though, Allura inevitably giving in to and using the darkness... What did I say before...? They've made her so weak. It took her lion intervening to stay her hand. And was it just me or was Lance using his broadsword...? With no fanfare...? No dramatically appropriate moment for it to materialise in a meaningful way...? It's just... There...? They establish he can summon it only under intense need, then never use it and now suddenly it's just... There...? Wow. I was giving them far too much credit when I assumed it was foreshadowing some dramatically appropriate moment. Sorry to anyone out there I said as much to. They just forgot about it.

This may be bad of me, but there's something distinctly Freudian about Lance wielding Allura's Father's Broad Sword... That just me?

So... They're continuing together on life's journey now...? And we're still not going to even touch on relative human to Altean life spans...? Really...? Ok...

And this is just another aside...

Their minds are all connected. So, Pidge doesn't need to explain anything except for the sake of the audience. That's fine and dandy. I'm used to Voltron relying on prodigious amounts of exposition. But why is Alfor surprised at the knowledge of Allura being possessed...? Angry? Sure. Concerned? Sure. Trying to convince her it's a bad idea? Sure. But...surprised...? How...? The plot would have you believe they're all profoundly connected on a far deeper level than ever before... And yet, somehow he's surprised at this knowledge...? Whatever. Plot right? Who cares. It's not like a team of writers have been paid a large sum for this to be a coherent story...

Should I just rename myself Bitter Bitching Bear?

Probably... I guess palaces in the mind would make a Voltron and Persona 5 crossover possible. Not that I would want to lessen Persona 5 in that way. Just an idle observation. And again, despite the mind connection, Allura is revealing things to Alfor that surprise him. I know it'd make conversations pointless and thus the whole show would be a hard watch... But still, why even pretend there is a mind connection if they don't even pay it lip service?

If I was taking a shot every time there was an unnecessary transformation sequence... In fairness I'd probably just be a little merry. But still, for a show that's being so rushed, they seem to have all the time in the world for transformation sequences and filler episodes. And really lousy looking CGI corridors. That was jarring. Also, Lance and Alfor being one and the same in the cockpit. Freudian symbolism intensifies.

Now, I'm just going to spitball for a moment. Allura is filled with an evil tennis ball from the void. She needs the evil ball to find Honerva. Yet we've seen she can remove the entities from Alteans. Admittedly, a dead one but, what's to say it's not possible on a living Altean? It's not like anyone tried.

Take the entity. Sever their connection. Ask the Alteans where Honerva is. Literally no need to put her sanity at risk. No need to have her willingly being possessed by a spooky space demon. Would it be as visually impressive? No. But it was an alternative that wasn't even discussed. Or considered. And it makes a great deal more sense. It also allows Allura to remain at least partially her incredibly strong willed self and not give in to the easy dark path. Yes, at this stage she's resisting. But let's be real. She's going to fall to the darkness. At least for a time. You don't foreshadow this hard about how bad the spooky space demon is unless you're going somewhere with it. Mind you, I've been wrong before about the writers doing something they're obviously building toward...

And now Lotor has gone from compelling conflicted character, to vampire space Hitler to a pile of gloop in a chair. Just one screw you after the next... Guess there's no redemption arc for him that doesn't involve a spatula...

Also, it suddenly strikes me that there's a whole lot of lazy asset reuse thanks to this episode's memory stuff going on. I'm also pretty sure I saw Lance's crazy gunning face against Alfor used elsewhere. Have the animators also given up? Well, with what they've been given to write, I wouldn't blame them. And...why is Zarkon's colour palette off...? His skin is literally the wrong colour... Come on guys, this isn't even funny... Why would Honerva remember her own Husband as the wrong colour...? Why would, what I assume is Zarkon's soul, be the wrong colour...?

Honerva's plan... So... Let me get this straight...

Honerva has Zarkon's soul in her mind. Possibly Lotor's somewhere as well, but that's just a guess.

She's made cloned bodies before. You see where I'm going with this?

Why destroy every single other reality, just to find the right one when she could just... Replace their souls in cloned bodies...? Or at the very least bring Zarkon back to aid her...? If Allura could do it it would be child's play to Honerva. Her motivation makes sense, but her method is utterly stupid. It makes her look stupid when she can't even use the tools at her own disposal.

What even is this daft speech and argument from Keith...?

Voltron is gone? Voltron is within us...?

Bollocks to your pseudo-deep emotional prattle. Just be sensible for once. The lions were never there to begin with. They were astral constructs. The lions aren't literally there so they aren't literally gone. You don't need a rousing speech about reaching for the lion inside you, because it's all in your heads as much as it's in hers... So stupid.

Also, pretty sure the entire blazing sword sequence was reused...

And something bad happened to Allura because she used the bad thing that was bad. Did we mention it was bad enough?

Well, here it is. The Big Robot they have to beat this season. Complete with seraphic imagery and form. That sure as hell hasn't been done to death, has it? And it's the board room of exposition again. Woohoo. And yet more Lance angst. And another Lance and Keith bonding moment. We get it, they're friends now. Ok, apparently removing the entity didn't kill the Altean...? So she could literally have just used their help...? Or even traced Honerva using one of the other's entity. And again, nothing was even suggested to do that.

I'm honestly not sure what would have been worse right now. The fact that Allura has been rendered bed bound and unable to do anything or if she'd been made a damsel in distress to be literally saved. Then again, I suppose there's still time for that. And in a sense, she is still in distress. Waiting to be saved by the plot. Oh, here it is. Lance going to awaken her with his love. Hooray. The damsel in distress is saved by the Nice Guy.

And the whole first part of the episode was literally just padding and wasting time. Are we any closer to finding out why Keith can do what he does...? Will we ever find out? Nah, I'll scratch that off along with Lance and Pidge ever getting their lion moments that everyone else got last season. But thank goodness we had time for all the pointless filler.

Ok... So, to be clear... At no point before going into the Astral Plane, did Allura think to remove the entities from the Alteans they have onboard...? I mean, yeah, sure, Allura getting controlled is one thing, she's just a plot device to be used these days and lacks any agency of her own any longer. But to have the irrelevant side characters not have their spooky space ghost taken out... When they know it directly connects them to Honerva... Even if they couldn't predict Honerva could control them, leaving them bonded with the entities was a stupid risk... Everyone is written like an idiot.

And, I'm not even sure how you can classify these void creatures as entities. They don't seem to have any will or agency of their own. They just seem to serve as brain bluetooth for Honerva and nothing else. Feels like they were supposed to be more than they ended up being. You can pretty much sum up the whole series as such. It was supposed to be so much more than it ended up being.

Now, I'm sure someone will point out that the Balmera we know is near Earth, so it shouldn't be here. Which is why they found a random new Balmera and new Balmerans. But, wouldn't it be more satisfying to have Shay and her formerly enslaved people being part of this final battle...? Wouldn't it be more compelling than watching New Balmera and the New Balmerans to see Shay and her long downtrodden people fighting back...? To just introduce a new Balmera with no previous stakes in the conflict is...mind boggling...

Mother and Son combined huh...? Freudian Symbology 3 – The Freudianing

Two episodes and then it's all over. Thankfully over.

And still time for another transformation sequence. We get it. Lions go click. I never thought I'd get bored watching a giant robot form... And at this stage, repetition seems to be a good topic. They're battling to save all realities. Again. There's a big space wobbly hole. Again. Only Coran with the power of breaking stuff can stop it. Again. I mean, I get this is based on a formulaic Japanese super robot show from the 80's, but it's current year argument... Can we maybe have something new in the season arc formula that isn't beat the big bad robot...? Right up until season 6 this show had so much potential and we've watched it all get squandered.

So...suddenly Balmera... That can travel at speeds at least as quick as Teludav...? Ok, sure. Whatever. And calling the other Balmera here...? Wow, wouldn't that have been more compelling if Shay, on her own Balmera previously wounded by Honerva, called out to the others? Wouldn't that have made this suddenly Balmera moment make more sense...? Nah. Screw sense. New Balmera and the New Balmerans happened. Then a whole bunch happened... It's like, they're missing all these obvious ways to tie things together using all they have in place... How can one writer never mind a whole damn team of writers miss something so elementary so repeatedly...?

At this stage, I genuinely think they stopped caring.

Deus Ex Balmera made Voltron and The Atlas fuse into a derpy generic looking Gundam.

You've got the rights to Voltron one of the most iconic combiner robots in history. Why the hell would you, for the final battle, turn it into yet another generic looking super robot in high heels!? Why!? Even that daft looking toy covered in blue bits was better than this...

Again, I can't understand how seeing two robots form a bigger robot is somehow boring... But they managed it... Makes me worry that the Voltron writers are apparently going on to do Spider Verse films... Somehow they might make multiple reality spider people boring...

And a big silly looking sword as well. Why not just cover it in belt buckles while you're at it?

And given this Alt-Reality Lotor and Alt-Reality Allura, they had the perfect chance to have them both be adorable little munchkins together. Couldn't even do that... And can we just stop with this? We get it, even if she wins she loses cause it's not really her world and not really her Zarkon and her plan was always doomed to fail... Yes, we get it. Hubris. Can we please just hurry up and end the series before I start listing all of the many plot threads you've overlooked...?

Ok, now the over-designed purple mess can fight the over-designed mess with a vaguely Voltron head. Then some shoddy deus ex machina will happen, probably.

Yup. Voltron just turns into a giant set of wings before ending up in the nexus of all realities. And Allura makes it all better with her magic. And predictably Allura makes the ultimate sacrifice because of course she does. Who didn't see this coming? And did she just magically make Lance Altean...? Man, I preferred Allura when she wasn't just a walking plot device. Though, now I think back, was she ever anything else...? How bad it's gotten makes me re-evaluate what it was... And finally we get everything tied up with a few sentences under some still images with the exception of Shiro's kiss, which was fine, but hardly the soul surging uplifting thing it wanted to be.

And that's that.

Previously, I was angry, I will admit that. And it was shameful. Now though...? I'm obviously bitter and sarcastic about it, but mostly a combination of relief and disappointment. Glad it's over. Disappointed at what it ultimately devolved into. Ironic as this may be, coming from a writer of shitty Voltron fanfiction... From season six onwards, this show has felt like shitty Voltron fanfiction. In essence, that's what it was. There are so many of you here on tumblr. who could have done a better job. A much better job. Maybe some of you will in future.

At least now, I can move on from the mess that the canon became. I won't waste my time hoping they'll make it better or wondering if they'll resolve every plot thread. Because I know they don't. I know they forget whole swathes of things they set up. And I'm sure people will point out more. I won't be writing fics trying to make them fit into the canon. If anything, I'll want to rewrite everything that went wrong from season six onwards. I will probably at least finish off some Plance pieces that I think The Garden needs now more than ever. Set in some of the alternate realities that didn't turn into this...utter mess... See you later, Space Cowboys. Sorry about the space dysentery.

Also, as one comment points out? That's not a gundam in my gif. But just a robot that looks silly dancing. pretty sure it's from a gundam series...but I only really know wing and beargguys. ...Here's a jolly thought. Altean Lance? He will live for centuries. Allura's last "gift" condemns him to spend nearly 1000 years watching his friends, his family over several generations, probably his entire lineage die and rot. All the while mourning her and never moving on. Fuck. This. Season.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #voltron season 8 #voltron spoilers #voltron season 8 spoilers #spoilers voltron #vld spoilers #vld #bear is salty

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