#again please I do love a good trans interpretation of ANY character

[thedomesticanthropologist]

"I want to headcanon a character as demi or ace so I chose Astarion"

But Wyll is right there??? Astarion has a huge trauma arc about reclaiming his sexuality but here is Wyll who says he prefers dancing over sex and won't even agree to it until you agree to marry him like that is RIPE for some ace or demi headcanoning

"I want to hc a character as Trans and I chose Astarion"

Wyll is the most Trans coded character and even got kicked out of his home by his father for a choice he made about himself that he doesn't regret why not use that plot line hghgkvh

Why not Wyll I'm just

He's right there

Like u do u I'm not gonna rag on anyone's chocies but WYLL IS RIGHT THERE

I know Asty is popular I'm just flabbergasted that Wyll isn't the face of these headcanons and AU's and stuff he fits the archetypes so well ahsgdhdhdhdjfh

[potions-of-dark-devotion]

Gotta Get This off my Chest

Severus Snape & HBO Series

Alright first off, I know you are generally expecting well thought out essays from me but here I’m going to Ramble Freeform. You’ve been warned.

I don’t know how I feel at all about another actor attempting to play Severus Snape. JK Rowling is the main producer and honestly this worries me a lot considering the amount of hatred she has for LGBTQ people and the amount of hatred Severus has gotten in the last years. This space is bad sometimes but generally we have a fantastic community of people in this snapedom who love the character as he is written positives and negatives. I for one liked Snape from the first book I read and the first movie I watched.

I’ll be the first to admit that my image of him is very much wrapped up in Alan Rickman, and tho I greatly respect other peoples images of snape and I love the fan art they make, the thing that made Alan such an amazing character actor for the part was the unabashed love he had for the character. Look at any interview of him about Severus and you will see that he went to bat for him at every turn. What if we we are given someone who sees Snape through the eyes of the marauders fandom? What if they erase all of Snapes goodness or heaven forbid write extra scenes of cruelty to Lily that didn’t exist, or have him creep over her, or physically attack her, or characterize him as the aggressor with James when we all know it was the other way around? These kinds of fears keep me from being excited about the new series and instead leave me anxious.

For one thing, I wish they had focused more on a different period of wizard history, or a different part of the 1st wizarding war or even marauders/young Severus era, because there is so much to explore. I would have liked to explore story lines that really could use more fleshing out, and if JK Rowling is going to be a part of this she could have easily written new passages or short stories to suit this new narrative. I also worry about the fact that yet again because she is a producer there will certainly be no LGBTQ characters in the narrative and that’s a waste to me. We already have a fantastic interpretation of the books, and if they are doing a redo why not cast people of color or trans or any LGBT characters in the mix? It will be the same story just perhaps fleshed out more? I’m not sure what this series will bring to the table that the movies did not unless they radically change some things.

Yet, with this interpretation we may see many thing in the series that we don’t see in the books. Severus has two big scenes at the end of POA and GOF that were totally left out of the movies, and if this was left in and the “prank” was explored more in depth we could get to see an even more complex narrative than Alan was allowed to portray in the movies (largely due to directorial choices).

Severus as we all know is a complex character that can be different or difficult to understand without a trauma informed lense and the last thing I want is for them to shove him into a gross stereotype, or give him attributes that don’t exist in the books in order to cater to certain fandoms. I’m genuinely worried about the prospect of this. I also don’t want our fandom safe spaces that we’ve spent years curating to be over run with Snape hate again just because of the series. I could be being pessimistic. It’s just been on my mind lately.

No hard feelings it’s just…Severus Snape is my comfort character and I don’t want the idea of it ruined by people who don’t really understand him or who wouldn’t bat for him the way Alan did. Please understand me. Does anyone else have mixed feelings this way?

[night-dark-woods]

15, 21, 23, 24!!

THANK U ECHO this got so long oops.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmm not destiny-specific (i dont have any d2 specific gripes i dont think) & i mostly follow cool gay & trans ppl so this is much less of an issue than in the wider fandom (every so often some Main Fandom Art makes its way to me and i do a full double take) but like. i knowww they are almost all the same character model in-game but can we please get some characters who arent super skinny supermodels in here. please.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

not to sound like an edgelord but. the traveler. if we can acknowledge that the Darkness isnt ontologically Evil, i think we can (PLEASE) acknowledge that the Light isnt inherently good. and im not talking about the superpowers we get, they've (narrative team) made it quite clear that individuals choose to do what they will with based on their own morals. but the traveler is, imo, positioned as a Morally Good Agent Of The Light far more than the witness is Of The Darkness, and i think we need to talk more about the traveler's agenda!!! again, this complexity isnt completely absent from the narrative, but it doesnt feel like those interpretations are... metatextually supported igss? like zavala's frustration with the traveler leaving feels more like a very christian (as someone who was not raised religious) test of faith that zavala (and the canonical YW) have Passed and will be Rewarded.

where's tevis my best friend tevis. we need more characters with that pov. god is real god resurrected you god gave you a second chance at life with no memories of your past and a guardian angel (a "chattering oversoul," to quote toland) to tell you where to go and who deserves to die and raise you every time you fail just to throw you back into the divine crusade. like. lets talk about that a little more!!!

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

this is hard bc i am in general very willing to "yes-and" ANYTHING with a hint of chemistry or a fun dynamic. it may not compell me but if you can point out a narrative similarity btwn characters i will almost always be down. unless its one i hate ("hate" being a strong word. really its just the strongest possible apathy) bc i contain multiudes :thumbsup:.

i can't think of a pairing i started out disliking and then changed my mind about due to fandom unfortunately. the closest would be igss that i hate crow/amanda as its written in the text BUT my perhaps controversial opinion is i think transitioning could fix crow specifically the version of crow i have in my head who did not get uldren's memories back. SotL was so good for the overarching plot of d2 but so so so bad for the type of awoken-enjoyer i am & imo the like... thesis statement of what a guardian is lol!

so unfortunately i dont have an answer for this one (i dont think "i like the pretend version i made up in my head" counts as coming around on a ship lmfao), bc you can pair any two destiny women and ill be like yeah for sure! and i have curated my online space well enough that i rarely see any other kind of ship, and when i do its gay men (o14, uldren/jolyon, someone i follow is cooking something with saladin/drifter which is inspired. i love whatever is happening there) which is like cheering absently for a sports team idc about but support on principle.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

mara. its always fucking mara. literally spent an hour and a half last night rehashing d1 mara-course in a server with someone who has not read any lore. which is fine! thats a fine way to engage with the game! its a valuable perspective! but use i-statements and accept that you are coming to the table with 10% of the facts about the character.

honorable mention goes to anything about redemption arcs (and savathun specifically)- most recently that fuuucking saint killing sav repeatedly lore tab. and if you (general) cant be assed to care about evil women (skill issue, but whatever), thats also backsliding YEARS on saints characterization and i dont even care about saint!!!

so really the answer is misogyny lmfao.

[lostrealities0]

Finding Home part 2

Part 1 - Next

"Oh. Sorry." They took a moment to look around the restaurant, and returned to staring at Hueso. They sounded...young. Couldn't be much older than the turtle boys. "I was just- I didn't know how to enter."

Hueso eye widened. "You knocked earlier."

They stood up, nodding. The black goop solidified for the most part into skin and clothes. Features formed on their face and their eyes stopped glowing, revealing dark pupils.

"How long were you out there?"

"I don't know. Maybe...three hours?" They shrugged. The casual gesture contrasted with their stiff body. It was a look that Hueso was very familiar with. A confident facade to disguise fear and disconnect, one his Pepino used to wear a lot.

Something tugged in Hueso's ribcage. This was a kid. A kid that stood outside in an alleyway for hours alone. A kid that's scared but trying to hide it. It didn't take a genius to figure out something was wrong.

Hueso asked the first thing that came to mind. "Are you in danger?"

They hesitated. "No."

"Do you need anything?"

This time, he never got an answer. He signed, running a bony hand down his face. Why him? Why did all the teens go to him? The said teen's stomach growled. "Alright. You sit." Hueso pointed at a nearby table. "I will get something for you to eat."

"I don't have any money-"

Hueso cut them off. "On the house. If you feel bad, make it up to me later. For now, sit."

The dark being obeyed, awkwardly pulling out a chair.

Several minutes later, Hueso returned with a small pizza, a salad, and some water. When they didn't take anything, he slid the platter closer. Immediately, they chugged the glass of water, careful to place it down gently. Hueso refilled it while they worked on the food.

"My name is Señor Hueso."

The teen stopped eating. "Hola," their voice was quiet.

That was concerning. "You don't have to share your name if you are not comfortable with doing so."

They looked to the side. "I don't...I don't like my name."

"That's alright. You can be called whatever you want to be called...niño? Niña?"

"Niño. I'm a boy." The kid smiled a little.

"Good to know." Hueso let him finish eating before speaking again. It pained him to see the kid eat so desperately, even more so when Hueso recognized that he was trying to hold himself back. He couldn't help but wonder how long it had been since the teen had food. Concern flooded the skeleton. He thought about his son, how he couldn't bare the thought of the boy going through something like this.

Hueso wasn't an altruist. He didn't go out of his way to help others. But he was a father.

Y este niño lo necesitaba.

---

---

A/n under cut

Once again, thanks for reading! If there are any errors, please let me know!

The oc/reader can be interpreted as trans or not. I'm technically writing him as trans, but not really mentioning it (not liking your name doesn't have to be dysphoria related). He does identify with nonbinary as well, however he mainly uses he/him pronouns and almost always describes himself as male.

I love representation, and as a trans guy myself, I love being seen. But at the same time, I don't want having the label "trans" being attached to me, nor the character. Yes, I'm a trans man, but I'm also just a man. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of being trans and have no issues with showing that, but it's not all that I am, and I don't want that to be all this character is either.

Sorry for the rant. Tl;dr: whether or not he is trans is not important for the story. I may change this in the future. Either way, he's a boy :)

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

FTH 2024

Fandom Trumps Hate bidding is live as of today and this feels like a good time to tell y'all that I'm offering two gift works this year! I had to skip last year as I had just way too much going on, and while I guess technically I'm still just as busy I really missed writing as much last year so I'm prioritizing it now. But anyway - my offerings! Here's the link to my offering page itself if you'd like to look there or think about donating, but for the full breakdown (and a bit of explanation) click the readmore 😌

So as I said I'm offering two works this year, one 5-10k words and the other 10-20k words. The minimum bid for the smaller fic is $5 and for the longer one it's $15. My ships/tags/special interests/etc. are the same for both, and for those of you who are familiar with what I write I'm sure you can guess what they are lol but I'll put it all here anyway!

Ships I will write (and they are listed in order of personal preference for writing): 3zun (or any pairing within it), Wangxian, Chengqing, Xuanli, Junior Quartet

Especially interested in: Fix-its, AU's (specifics can be discussed), Canon Divergence, Slice of Life, Fluff, Angst with Comfort, Smut, Gender Fuckery™, Rule 63/Cisswap

Ships I don't want to write: SongXueXiao or any pairing involving Su She, Wen Chao, Wen Xu, or Jin Guangshan.

Unwilling to address: Angst with No Comfort, Bathroom Kinks, Underage, Rape (I can make exceptions at my discretion depending on context)

Other notes: I can be fairly flexible! I've worked before with a bidder who wanted an extra written for one of their own stories, I can write requested extras or missing scenes for any of my existing stories/universes, or we can come up with something completely new. I prefer specific prompts, but please allow me some wiggle-room for my own interpretations, we're working on this as a team!

Special interests: F/F ships, Poly ships, Genderswap/genderbending, Canonically trans or nonbinary characters, Trans or nonbinary interpretations of canon characters

This year I've chosen to select specific charities I'd like donations to go towards, and I chose ones that take international donations and that focus their efforts on people of color, children/youths, and LGBTQ+ issues.

Organizations this auction benefits:

In Our Own Voice ["...lifting up the voices of Black women leaders at the national and regional levels in our fight to secure Reproductive Justice for all women, girls, and gender-expansive individuals..."]

Middle East Children's Alliance ["...organization working for the rights and the well-being of children in the Middle East...They are currently responding to the Gaza crisis with medical supplies and emergency assistance for displaced families."]

Never Again Action ["A Jewish-led mobilization against the persecution, detention, and deportation of immigrants in the United States, NAA takes on campaigns against detention centers and ICE training programs, and organizes mutual aid and deportation defense."]

Sherlock's Homes Foundation ["...provides housing, employment opportunities, and a loving support system for homeless LGBTQ+ young adults so that they can live fearlessly as their authentic selves..."]

And that's it really! I'm really excited to be doing FTH again, I loved it the first time and I love feeling like this ridiculous hobby does some material good in the world in a way that's a bit more targeted and magnified than the writing usually does on its own. Financial contributions to good causes isn't something I've been capable of managing in a very long time, but I can spend my time writing a thank you gift for those who can and do ❤

[thepunkmuppet]

There is no canon set up for tedbecca, though? The writers, the actors, nobody was ever planning on tedbecca. There is no set up for it that isn't you with your cishet "the main man and main women must be love interests" goggles on. The fact that you feel it's cool to come into the tedtrent tag and basically shit on the shippers and say there isn't anything there and then turn around and ask us to explain it to you is REALLY fucking presumptuous and arrogant and SHITTY of you. Writing a whole ass essay about how you don't get it, these younger, hotter actors or this basic cishet ship is better, that's fucking rude and you can fuck all the way off.

Like. We don't care if you don't get it. We don't care if you're so basic and unimaginative and boring that you can't see the subtext that makes Ted and Trent great. We get it.

And you're a Spike fan. You stan an abusive rapist. So why does your opinion even matter?

hi, I’m genuinely sorry that I offended you, I really truly didn’t mean to! my tone must have come across really badly, reading it back I can absolutely understand that I come across a bit shittily but you are reading WAY too much into things here and being really rude yourself over a post that’s literally about a slash ship from a football show

I never said anything bad about the ship or the shippers, and the ships I like are just my personal preference, just like yours. there’s no insidious deeper meaning behind it like you seem to think there is - it’s a tv show, it’s all chill in my book! also I can’t speak for writers and actors, just what I personally saw and interpreted on screen. if you didn’t see the same thing, then that’s fine, it doesn’t matter to me at all! we can like the same thing but disagree on stuff that’s fine and good and normal

again my tone must have come across REALLY badly, because I didn’t think anything was “cool” and I wasn’t trying to be arrogant, just asking a genuine question to prompt a conversation is all. I’ve got loads of sweet and interesting responses telling me all about why they like the ship. I like the ship! its cute! people’s responses have made me like it more!

also and most importantly it’s not that deep!!!!

“fuck you” and calling me basic and boring is completely unprovoked and really weird and inappropriate considering the subject matter. you clearly do care. a bit too much lmao

all that being said I feel like I have to clear this up. I am trans and pansexual there is not a cishet bone in my body just to make that abundantly clear!!

tldr please calm down my guy. I’m sorry you thought I was being rude but I wasn’t and this is literally a non-issue :) I like tedtrent. kind of a lot actually after reading other people’s comments. everything is fine I promise

also also sorry but it is so fucking annoying that this keeps coming up so I have to include it. I don’t “stan” anyone, I just think spike is a good character like most people in the buffy fandom. emphasis on CHARACTER, he’s literally a fictional demon murderer with no soul who sucks blood, enjoying him as a character obviously doesn’t mean I endorse his (FICTIONAL NOT REAL) actions in any way. I really don’t think that’s a hard concept to grasp 🤦‍♂️

[dis-astre]

hi to the new people in the les mis fandom joining bc of joseph quinn, it is lovely to have u all with us and u are more than welcome, however u should know that bbc enjolras (and the whole bbc adaptation) is nowhere close to the original character and everything he represent.

while joseph quinn did a really good job at acting enjolras, the way the writers wrote his character was bad and out of character. obviously, and it's normal, an adaptation will always have its own interpretation of a character, and that's what's make fiction so great. but i think u need to be aware of the fact that it's not a good representation of what enjolras' character is and what his character has been representing for over 150 years (i could go into details and maybe will but it's late and i'm working early tomorrow).

i also wanted to say, as a reminder that, while it's completely fine to simp for enjolras (no one is immune to him, whether he's played by aaron tveit, joseph quinn or anyone else) and find him hot (because he IS hot or because he's played by joseph quinn, again, i get it; i don't find moustachjolras hot but damn that man is find irl), u need to be aware that enjolras is a queer character. it's stated multiple times that he has no interest in women, never has and never will. his character has been an important representation for the queer community, him being compared to a lot of gay historical figures (and i'm not going to start with the enjoltaire); but also for the aromantic and asexual community and trans community. his character is very likely to be aroace; and victor hugo describe him as being very androgynous looking, looking like a young woman. and while i don't want to talk on behalf of the trans community, i've seen a lot of post and fanfictions headcanoning him as trans, and i think it's very important to have that kind of representation in such an important piece of classical literature.

so please, be aware that the y/n fanfic and nswf y/n fanfic with female character x enjolras can be really disturbing, especially for people who have been in the fandom for a long time and are really looking up to his character and kinning him. don't just reduce him to hot-man-u-wanna-do-the-dirty-with when his character carries so much importance and has for decades. and i promise, caring about a character's whole essence and personality doesn't make them any less interesting or hot (quite the contrary actually).

also, let's not forget how we collectively hated on the casting choice when it first came out and i find it a bit odd to suddenly change our mind just bc it's the same actor who plays eddie munson. i personally think we were right to complain, bc it WAS a bad casting choice considering all the physical description of enjolras we had (and yes, in les mis, his physical appearance matters of lot).

we are not trying to gatekeep our fandom. on the contrary, i think it's really pretty fucking cool to have new people finding an interest in a 160yo book ! and for me, u guys are more than welcome to join our sad silly little fandom. but we just want u to be aware of all of this (and maybe some other issues that do not cross my mind rn) and be educated so we can all be drama free.

ok i'm done now, sorry for the long post, welcome again to the fandom, and if u decide to stay be ready for the tears and the pain caused by mr victor hugo ! bye bye, with love, a little french fan

[joleneghoul]

Hello!! For that ask game thing that you recently reblogged, I would love to hear your opinions on everyone's dear friend Booster Gold! :)

YAY yes i can do Booster of course. I've loved Booster for over 7 years now I'm sure I have a few things to say hehe. This ones also long so here we go.

– Overall opinion of them I think Booster is a genuinely amazing character who just happens to be placed in the hands of incompetent unsure writers all the time. But for the sake of things I'm not going to rant about writers right now but know a lot of my opinions and love for Booster comes from accidental themes thrown in by writers or stuff that can be taken and made better. A lot of my love for Booster also comes from the situation I was in when I first started reading his comics (around after I read Ted's BB comics bc I was a Ted fan first and the very same goes for Ted too) so i'm very aware a lot of my perceptions are based in that. I believe that Booster's backstory is really interesting and hits hard. Booster gold volume 1 can easily be read as someone who is closeted trying to find a place in a world where they do not fit in (Now please take in account that this is not the intention of the writing from the author and was a total accident writing wise). I wish more respect would be put into his backstory especially currently I think in the right hands it can be transformed into something really meaningful...but anyways.

– Gender/sexuality headcanons I am a Trans Nonbinary Gay Booster believer. I think booster goes by any pronouns but especially he/him and she/her. I also believe he knew this when he lived in the 25th century way before he went back in time, but had to deal with being in the closet AFTER time traveling, not before.

– Favorite moment in canon SHEESH…um…A LOT OF THINGS are my favorite moment. for the sake of everyone I wont go through every comic he's in and post my favorite moment but in booster gold volume 1 I love every scene where it touches on that "outsider" aspect of his character and his struggle with it.

Another favorite (ICONIC) moment I love is the reveal that he is Supernova and FAKED his death in 52 #37 to fool Mr Mind/Skeets. It is genuinely such a good moment in my opinion and shows that he's actually very cunning and capable and also sets the stage for what his strengths are as a time master. It takes the whole idea that "lies and deception" don't have to be negative but can be a useful tool in heroism (in a way directly challenging Boosters past and his perceptions of himself because of that past).

Oh I also love his arc in extreme justice before he wishes his disability away. – Favorite moment in a fanwork It is so difficult to decide this FOR ME because I care so much about a lot of my mutuals interpretations of Booster to pick one! I really enjoy seeing how other people perceive Booster as a serious genuine character. Like In @slettlune's works (sorry for at-ing you again lol), or @queenretcon's art or @bigturtl or @starringbeetle or nowadays @mattdcblog or my bf's old art @clickbaitcowboy. all of them have inspired and shaped the way I see Booster so I don't think I can pick just one favorite moment or piece.

– Favorite line, in canon or otherwise ANY line from volume 1 where Booster doesn't understand phrases or sayings is my favorite.

– Characters I love seeing them interact with Um..well I'd be a liar if I didn't say Ted Kord- but there is a lot of newer stuff in comics that I feel falls flat with them and I think that comes from making them one note outside of each other and that both of them BENEFIT from having lives outside of each other in canon.

NOW...FIRE...is one of my FAVORITE Booster friendships! I need to see more of them I feel like too often its brushed aside that Fire was one of Boosters besties too! Or even just the fact Booster in the 80s-90s had a lot of friends who were women without being romantic with them which is honestly unique and cool. NOW.. I understand narrative wise (post toras death and everything that was done wrong to Bea) why they all fall out of being friends. I just miss it.

– Last thing before sleeping headcanons & Sleeping habits headcanons

I honestly don't have any strong opinions about this at all other than I think that Booster would be the type of person to need white noise or something to sleep. Uhhh I think he would take up the whole bed no matter what though not even just because he's 6'5 but because he sleeps like a star fish.

– First thing after waking up headcanons Unfortunately he is the only morning person in existence I think.

– Favorite locations headcanon

AGAIN...he's a time traveler...he's a huge cowboy fan so I'm sure for that reason he loves being in the wild west era even though in reality it sucked but this is comics ig.

Other than that I think he loves going to the beach, not just like the ocean front but just like towns near the beach too, ocean wind...beach vibes, maybe he should try surfing.

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 81: Homophobic Leo

Paralogue 16: Abducted

Leo takes Elise to meet Forrest, but is unhappy about meeting his son again. Niles reports that brigands have attacked a village and that the villagers were healed by a beautiful female troubadour. Leo freaks out and runs in to the village to talk to the troubadour...Leo’s son Forrest. Forrest reveals he left the baby dimension to get supplies for new dresses. Elise praises her nephew’s fashion sense. Leo calls Forrest a disgrace, because Leo is not a good father in this Support. Forrest runs away crying and is kidnapped by brigands. Elise runs in to save Forrest. Leo stays behind because he’s fucking awful.

What is it with the Paralogues and making me hate this game’s characters? Jakob is flat out abusive, Xander praises his son for keeping silent when he’s in danger, and all of them are guilty of basically abandoning their children. The worst is Leo, who is just a douchebag in this chapter, hating his son for not being traditionally masculine. And that’s ignoring the subtext of homophobia. Great job, Intelligent Systems, uou made your intelligent hero who the audience is supposed to root for act like a homophobic cunt.

Also, for clarification, I’m referring to Forrest as “he” because the game does. A trans interpretation is not hard to assume, but liking pink and wearing skirts is something cis dudes can do. Not that I would expect a Fire Emblem game to respect a trans character’s gender identitty, given Intellegence Systems less than steller LGBT representation.

This chapter has a neat gimmick. As soon as you first fight an enemy, the enemies will decide to kill Forrest, forcing you to stealth around then rush in to save him. The chapter’s boss, Gazak, is capturable. Unfortunately, I tried to weaken him up with Felicia and got a crit, so I guess I won’t get another captured boss who I don’t plan on using. Felicia’s level up quote is “Does this please you?” and no Felicia, it didn’t.

As Forrest is going home because his father doesn’t love him, a villager he saved runs up and thanks him for saving his life. Leo apologizes for being a dick and asks Forrest go come with him. Forrest says yes and talks about trading fashion tips with Elise. Unfortunately, they do not have any Supports together.

Forrest

Leo’s Troubadour son. Very feminine, into fashion and dresses. Him healing visitors and telling off his father is nice, but the whole damsel in distress kidnapped thing sucks. Let feminine men beat people to death with their bare hands! His pink design and braids actually make him look a lot like Elise, which I suposse makes sense. I'm not fond of the berret, it looks weird because it seems to be covering up a crown. His personal skill, Fierce Counter, causes him to deal extra damage when attacked by male enemies, including Faceless for some reason. Because nearly all generic enemies are male, this is a decent skill.

Gazak

The real character I wanted to recruit, this ridiculous looking fighter with a massive scar on his bald head and the creepiest smile. He reminds me of Arthur for some reason.

Support: Forrest/Leo

C: Leo finds Forrest sewing. Forrest tries to hide it but Leo, tring to be less shitty, says it's okay for Forrest to follow his passions. The two of them talk about a time, when Forrest was a child, he put on an old dress of Elise's and Leo called him cute. Forrest says he always wanted to wear elegent gowns and cute accessories and that looking like a beautiful princess helped him forget his loneliness.

B: Forrest goes to a church to pray for soldiers to come home unharmed. Leo tells him that he will eventually inherit his magic book he uses to execute prisoners, Byrnhildr. Forrest says no, because he wants to follow the gods and hurt those in need. Side note, what gods? There isn't much information on what Nohrian religion is like. Do they worship Anankos? The Dusk Dragon statues and no one being weirded out by Garon implies they do, but that's kinda incongruous with the plot of Revelation.

A: Leo says its noble for Forrest to not want to hurt people, but explains that weapons can be used to protect people from evil. Leo says that he has faith in Forrest and trusts he will use the tome for greater things than he evil did.

Review: Man, what can I evens say about that C-Rank? There’s so much to unpack about Forrest's’ daddy issues and gender identity. Setting that aside, Forrest not wanting to hurt people and Leo trusting Forrest to be better than him is great.

Support: Forrest/Mother

C: Forrest makes his mother a dress.

B: Forrest runs into an old man who is lost. Random townsfolk mock the old man for being senile. After helping the man, Forrest wants to lock himself in his room because he's so sad about people being mean.

A: Forrest's mother wears the dress to town and gets complimented. Some random woman praises her for raising such a nice daughter. Forrest does not react to being called a girl.

Review: Bland, dumb, and boring.

Support: Corrin/Forrest

C: Forrest embroiders a dress. Corrin says she struggles to see Forrest as anything but a young lady. Forrest says that isn't strange.

B: Corrin asks to go shopping with Forrest. He says no, because he doesn't want Corrin to be embarrassed for being seen with him. Corrin doesn't give a shit and says that the world needs to grow and accept Forrest. #Ally.

A: Forrest talks about how people like him and the canonically non-het Corrin should be seen as ordinairy parts of society, rather than being invisible.

S: Forrest proposes by sewing a wedding dress. Corrin says yes, even though people who look like young ladies aren't usually her type. But not never her type, I’d like to note! Also Forrest wants to sew himself a wedding dress to wear.

Review: Goddamn Forrest is queercoded. Like, at what point does it stop being subtext and just become text? Also the speech about not being invisible is lit.

Support: Moron/Forrest

C: Corrin flat out asks if Forrest is gay. Forrest says, explicitly, that he is only attracted to women.

B: Forrest says the he identifies as male, just likes girly clothing. Corrin stares at Forrest because he thinks he's hot. Which honestly should happen in more conversations with Corrin and other men.

A: A shopkeeper kicks Forrest out after finding out he's a guy. Forrest is saddened that a seemingly kind man could be so bigoted. Corrin says Forrest looks amazing and gets flustered when Forrst asks if he has feelings for him.

Review: This one confirms that Forrest is cishet. Which is fine; like I said, gender norms are bullshit and anyone can dress however they want. Corrin sure isn’t though.

[rantrambles]

Ever get so upset you make a Tumblr account to vent?

I haven’t even listened to The Penumbra Podcast yet but it’s on my list because it’s insanely popular and the cosplays I’ve seen are hot as hell (A+ to all the cosplayers I’ve seen you’ve done great work). Now, with the recent news surrounding the podcast, I’ll wait till it’s done if I ever do get into it. I’m Asian and part of the LGBT community but I’m not nonbinary so I can’t say much about the trans represention in the art but I wanted to add my two cents on the matter as a person of color and someone examining the situation from the outside. Also, before I get deeply into it, I’m not the only person of color with opinions on this matter so if people have their own frustrations and criticism with the racism in The Penumbra Podcast and/or the new artist they hired, definitely listen to them too. These are my own personal opinions, and I’m sure other people will disagree and that’s fine. We’re all going to have different views on this so bear that in mind. Also, feel free to correct me or add anything if I’ve missed some information. Here’s a great breakdown of the whole situation for those that don’t know what happened. Finally, I was very hesitant to post this, but I felt it was important because I make a statement at the end on how race should be presented in a podcast format so if you are interested in making a podcast and want to have a diverse range of characters, please skip to the end to read those thoughts.

I’ll start off by saying, I’m not even that upset with the new artist that The Penumbra Podcast hired. I know that statement alone is controversial but I don't personally know them, and I’m not going to judge who they are as a person by a few pieces of art they’ve made. They are the least of the problems that I have here. Since the announcement and the backlash, I’ve been scrolling through the artist’s Instagram account and I can tell why people find the designs offensive, but I’m also comparing the designs to the artist’s other work, and I honestly believe that’s just their style. They’ve exaggerated the features of just about every character they’ve made, regardless of race or gender. From what I’ve seen the sharp angles and overly round curves in the anatomy that make some of the character’s features more jarring are how they prefer to draw. I’m sure they’re capable of drawing more realistic proportions but for the most part they’re art aims to call attention, be bold, and create distinguished features. Not inherently a bad thing on its own.

And yeah I’d understand the issue if this were a scenario where the artist heard how these characters acted in the podcast and thought “hey, obviously this character is a black woman because they are super strong and therefore must have big muscles, no other woman could look like that” or “hey, this character has to be Asian because they act super seductive sometimes better draw them as such.” But from my understanding the race was already decided by previous official artists and a general description of the characters were already generated by the audience, similar to how The Magnus Archives leaned towards drawing scrawny Jon with black, greying hair and dark skin. The new artists couldn’t really change those features even if those features aren’t described in canon because a depiction that strayed too far from popular fandom interpretation would make the character’s unrecognizable to the fanbase. 

I think the reason this became such a big issue for most people is because the new Penumbra artist used their exaggerated art style when making these characters and people of color and nonbinary folks already see themselves drawn as these exaggerated caricatures all the time (with those images being used to further discriminate against them). I’m sure the artist didn’t mean for their art to be offensive, but that of course doesn’t change how it was received. 

According to some, the poses and expressions the artists chose did not fully represent the characters entirely and only served to further perpetuate harmful stereotypes, and I’ll have to take their word for it because I still haven’t listened to the podcast so I have no idea how the characters act. But again much of the criticism is based on the one line-up and doing a deeper dive into the artist’s work I managed to find artwork that was much less offensive. Here some art where Vespa is depicted in a non-violent pose and one where Vespa is in a threatening pose but not an overly violent one. Here is Peter drawn in a non-seductive pose. Hopefully, the artist truly does keep the criticisms in mind as they work on the new official art. I’m just not the type of person that wants to get the pitchforks out and cause this particular person to lose a job they seemed really excited about over their old character line-up, especially when that person is also part of a marginalized group.

Again, that’s just my opinion on that particular artist. Those who are offended by their art are still valid in how they feel, and the artist should absolutely take their criticism to heart to better how they represent the characters.

What I’m more upset about is that I think The Penumbra Podcast should never have released official art for their characters in the first place and that’s their mistake that they refuse to own up about. They have made it clear that the story was never meant to portray characters of colors, a fact emphasized by the fact they hired mostly white actors from the start. They only started releasing art of the characters to get a profit. And the thing is they know what they did was wrong. All I had to do was search Penumbra Podcast racism and there is a note on their website saying that they archived some old official art.

“We have discontinued all Penumbra merchandise that uses the original character designs, and in the meantime, any profits on the sales of that merchandise will go to the For The Gworls project. We also realize that the depiction of these characters as POC, while not appropriate for us to use in our marketing and merchandise, has nonetheless become personally meaningful to many POC listeners. For that reason, and because we do not wish to distance ourselves from our mistake, we are keeping these images on our website for archival purposes. Though we do want to make it clear that many of the main/featured voice actors are white and that we did not write the characters to represent any specific POC experience, you are, as always, free to imagine these characters in any way that you like.”

I went to their shop and they still sell posters and pins with the character’s faces on them, but they are donating it to a good cause so hopefully that stays the same. However, I still find it a little uncomfortable that they are still selling character merch and have plans to continue selling character merch. They have no right to dissuade the fans that already found representation in the characters, but they also have no right to profit off the representation that was built, regardless if they made the story. 

Let’s compare this to another piece of popular media. I love Avatar the Last Airbender and, I liked the ATLA voice actors just fine but there should have been more people of color doing voice acting behind the screen too. The voice actors for that show were mainly white too, however, the creators knew that they would be making poc characters. That’s what makes the difference. Did they still choose to go with mostly white voice actors? Yes. Could they have done better and pay more people of color? Also yes. But I’m not as furious at them because they did their research on the cultures they were basing the ATLA world off of and intentionally gave us a show where Asians could see characters that looked like them represented on the screen. The Penumbra Podcast did not do any of that. Again, they openly admitted that it was never their intention to make the character’s people of color when they made the podcast so that goes to show no research was made to properly represent specific cultures. The color of the character’s skin in their official designs therefore became more of aesthetic choice rather than representation, and it wasn’t even their aesthetic choice to begin with!

Race isn’t a color you can just throw onto the character because you feel like it. So I want this to be a lesson to anyone that wants to make a podcast: if you want to include poc characters please do some research into the cultures you plan to represent the way you would with any other form of media. Just because the audience can’t see the characters and just because it’s harder to smoothly introduce the character’s appearance doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be lazy on how you present the characters. Do research before you start writing the first episode and take the time to hire poc actors. Hiring poc actors is actually the least that can be done to show representation. Also, since the audience cannot visually see the race of the characters on a podcast and it can’t typically be described the way you would in a book, you’ll have to be creative. It’s not my job to say how, but my suggestions would be, before the fans come up with their own image of the character, you need to establish race in the first few episodes or release character profiles on a website so that the fans know you canonically intended the characters to be of a certain race even if you aren’t able to mention it in the actual podcast. If you are unwilling to do any of these then the best route is to avoid stating race at all and allow the audience to build their own representation into your form of media. However, once this happens, you are not allowed to profit off popular fan interpretations. You lose all rights to create official art or images of the characters. You cannot use “we have a diverse cast of characters” when you market your story. It doesn’t matter whether you created the content or not, you did not create the representation for those minority groups.

It’s one thing for fans to build their own inclusivity into a form of art like a podcast, but it’s another thing for the creators who never worked to make the representation happen to take advantage of the representation that the listeners built for themselves. Thank you for attending my TedTalk.

[valfeathers]

dr:t pride headcanons, written edition

so i’ve recently received some asks about whether or not i headcanon any of the characters from dr:togami as lgbtq+ or not and, as a very queer person, you know i do! 

since i’ve been struggling to put out art recently, i figured that i’d take the time to write down my pride headcanons in honour of pride month! i want to apologise for not being in the proper headspace to post even though i promised i would, i hope this gets my thoughts across in some form!

(if i neglect to mention anyone just assume that they’re either straight or unlabeled!)

and if i word this post firmly, please remember that these are my opinions and you’re well within your right to disagree so long as you’re respectful. 

spoilers? maybe. gay people below the cut!

so let’s start it off with our volume 1 cast!-

byakuya: gay & gender-fluid. now, i feel very strongly that during the events of the novels he was still far far into that closet, but believe me it’s there. remember when he had to dress up as that nun? and how he was vibing in that convent, a place that celeste mentions doesn’t allow men? he was very trans in that chapter. and let’s not even mention polaris p. polanski. this kid is so transgender it makes my eyes hurt.  

shinobu: lesbian. she’s a lesbian. this is partly due to projection and partly due to the way that she describes female characters, but i’m not gonna tether my opinions to canon so i’ll leave it at that. i feel like she’s actually a little bit of a hopeless romantic. 

satomi aoba: lesbian. i promise they’re not all lesbians, it’s just that i’m a lesbian and i love satomi. but also it’s the way that she interacts with the mole in volume 1, as if she’s moved past having patience for men. and that’s very lesbian of her. 

hiroyuki: pansexual trans man. now these are purely headcanon, but i characterise hiroyuki as not giving a damn about gender in the slightest. if he likes you, he likes you. and i don’t remember when exactly i decided to make him a trans man but i get the feeling that it’s because he’s a twin. i get that they aren’t identical but i saw the opportunity and took it, what can i say. like shinobu, i’d like to think he craves love and romance but he tends to mask his emotions with humour so you’d have to be able to read him to know that. good lad, in all. 

yuika: pansexual. they’re twins! they match! kidding, there’s more to it. now, at some point i decided that yuika would also go for personality other than gender, since she values someone who unflinchingly cares about her, especially since her fleshed out backstory in my rewrite reveals that her peers didn’t exactly treat her well. but that’s for another time.

taeko: lesbian. last one, i swear! i’d argue that taeko & yuika are slightly girlfriend-coded in the novels, but that’s beside the point. the second i read taeko’s dialogue and scenes i got hit with a strong femme-lesbian vibe. she really values femininity, she kicks ass and she’s the hyper to yuika’s calm

andou (A54) naoki: bisexual. honorable mention! he plays a bigger role in my ver. which is why he’s here. i can’t exactly put this one into words without explaining his entire character and, my god, i want this post to be brief. so just trust me on this one. once i actually post about him hopefully you’ll get it. 

and now for the dead siblings!- 

now, i’m aware of just how strict this family is, but as you all know (hopefully) you’re gay regardless of your situation, and like, mathematically there’s no way that every single one of them is straight.

ichirou: bisexual. again, this one mostly fits my characterisation of him, which i’ll elaborate on later! for now all i’ll say is that he’d be kind of nonchalant about it? like ‘oh you know, uneventful work day, saved a life, repaired an artery, kissed a man, et cetera.’ and he’s not stupid, at all, nor is he uncaring, it’s just that it’s such a natural part of him that he doesn’t question it at all. 

saburou: asexual. this only relates to my interpretation of him, which is very different from canon! he’s the type of kid to make the most out of left field, egregious sex joke imaginable only to be the most asexual person you ever did meet. 

takaya: aroace. now, if he had gotten to live longer and work his shit out he’d realise that is the definition of aroace. he, for his whole life, simply had no interest. a common experience for aromantic people (coming from an aro person!) is the classic ‘pick someone to have a crush on’ experience but in all honesty, i dont think he even did that. he simply didn’t care in the slightest and wasn’t afraid to let people know it. 

[bloody-f4g]

queer themes in discovery season 3, part one here

spoilers, obviously.

One of the most common aspects of the queer experience is the struggle of visibility within a hetero- and cisnormative society.  Feeling invisible with straight and cis being assumed as default, feeling seen by other queer people, feeling invisible without seeing yourself in those around you and the media around you. 

Throughout almost the entire season, Gray has been literally invisible to everyone but Adira, and in turn Adira had only been out to Gray until about halfway through the season.  We can see Gray’s invisibility as a metaphor for being seen as yourself as a queer person (as cliche as it is).  Literally not being seen by anyone but the one other trans person in the show parallels how as a queer -- and especially trans -- person, there is a level of understanding and solidarity one has with other queer and trans people by virtue of that similarity. 

In the season finale, due to some scifi shenanigans, Gray becomes visible to Hugh, Saru, and Su’kal (and Adira still).  

Gray gaining visibility to these characters was a very good choice, with Hugh being another queer person and Saru a person of authority.  When gaining visibility as an individual or a group, these are the the groups that visibility is granted to most commonly.  Because of an ability to understand each other’s experiences, other queer people are easier to come out to, and Gray being literally visible to Hugh was a natural extension of him being visible to Adira.  (This is similar to when Adira does come out to someone (other than Gray), it is first to Stamets, another queer person.)  On the other hand, Saru, as captain of the Discovery (at the time), serves as an authority figure in this situation.  Those with power over oneself are also common to become visible to (come out to), often in a far more violent way than with other queer people. 

I really don’t think this was intentional, but I love that Gray being finally visible to people other than Adira somewhere safe.  This holodeck was created specifically for Su’kal’s childhood as a safe place.  I think there’s something comforting knowing that being perceived as a trans person in the future is something you can do safely. 

Before the holodeck is shut down, Hugh says something along the lines of “We'll find a way that you’ll be seen by everyone."  This makes me hope next season Gray being trans will be more explicit next season.  I was pretty disappointed about Gray not being explicitly trans, and Adira’s non binary identity presenting itself in them telling Stamets their pronouns and that they “never felt like a she.”  Adira and Gray weren’t the main focus of this season by far, and I understand them not having a lot of screentime, but Blu and Ian have been confirmed for the next season, so I can hope for more explicit trans representation next season. 

Queer people have valued found family over biological nuclear family for decades, maybe centuries.  This is from being physically kicked out of the nuclear family one was born into by virtue of homophobia and/or transphobia, or because of a feeling of isolation and separation from one’s nuclear family if they weren’t kicked out of their parents’ house due to an inability to relate to the hetero/cisnormative standards of development.  Thus, queer people search out other queer people they can relate to better than their biological family, and those that support them more.  This idea of found family has taken many forms within the queer community, most famously in the houses in urban black and brown ballroom culture.   

The found family trope has long been prevalent within Star Trek, and I love the form it has taken in Discovery.  Everyone has already talked about this (me too, we’re all emotionally invested in this) but i have to talk about it it: Paul and Hugh essentially adopted Adira.  This is straight-up text, with Hugh telling Georgiou that he wishes he had children at the beginning of an episode that ends with Paul and Adira bonding over their scientific project, Adira telling Paul their pronouns (again, something very intimate that they had only told Gray).  In the second-to-last episode of the season, Paul directly calls Adira his child, Hugh and Adira his “whole life.” 

Adira has a close connection with Hugh because they both love(d) someone who was (dead/presumed dead but actually in a mushroom dimension?).  They’ve emphasized multiple times that they are the only ones who know what this experience is like... just like how their queer experiences makes them able to understand each other’s point of views.   Because of their jobs on the ship, we see Paul and Adira together more, but, as Paul said at Georgiou’s memorium, they’re “kind of a package deal.”  Further than that, Gray’s hug with Hugh in the finale was so beautiful, and Paul taking a father-in-law type of position telling Gray off for disappearing for a few days. 

(Kind of a sidenote, but some people have taken Hugh and Paul’s interactions with Gray as “that’s kinda weird that Adira’s dads have also taken in their boyfriend, does that make them like siblings?” and I really think that the dynamic is better because of this: it’s a reaffirmation of the rejection of the nuclear family model; found families are never as cut-and-dry as biological ones because they aren’t formed under the same oppressive framework.)

The thing I love about Discovery’s queer rep is that these characters aren’t just stated to be queer, and then fit into the assimilationist standards of the cishets around them, but they go through queer experiences that queer viewers can relate to on a level above “kisses someone of same gender, bye.”

(That isn’t stating it’s perfect by any degree: I’ve already stated my hopes for Gray and Adira’s identities in the next season; I want to see more of Reno; out of these five characters, it’s disappointing that all but one are white.)

//these are just my interpretations, feel free to add on and/or disagree, in fact please do//

[itsclydebitches]

(WLW anon) I really don’t like the “bad rep is better then none at all”. I hate that. We should want good rep, because bad rep has been used time and time again by homophobes as to say we shouldn’t get representation. To me it’s not “gay can have the same flaws as het”, it’s “fix the flaws in the het”. Also I know Renora being independent was a good, I was just saying in comparison BB. Also, yes, they were separated, but also didn’t stop thinking about each other. Especially bad with Yang.

Indulge me for a moment because I want to take a trip down memory lane and list some—just some—of the queer rep that has been important to me over the years:

Ellen comes out both as herself and as her character… years later, she’s a hated millionaire who is criticized for how she treats her staff

The wildly influential Buffy gives us two women entering a loving relationship… except then Tara is killed off, Willow goes evil for a time, and Buffy comes under fire for Joss Whedon’s everything

The beloved and respectable headmaster of one of the most popular book series ever published is revealed to be gay… except it doesn’t count because it wasn’t in the text and now all of Harry Potter is cancelled because JKR is transphobic

Kurt is an unambiguously gay teen in a hugely popular TV series, acting as one of the first overt representations a generation has seen… except he’s way too stereotypical and Glee is a joke now

Orange is the New Black gives us a number of queer women, including one of our first trans characters… but isn’t it problematic that they’re all criminals?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine hosts an out gay captain and gives us a bisexual coming out story that resonated with many, myself included… except now we’re supposed to hate all the characters on principle because they’re cops

Korra and Asami walk off into the spiritual sunset together… but they never kiss or anything, so that doesn’t count either

Steven Universe gives us a queer relationship and a wedding… but it’s an issue that this is just a kid’s show and, really, does it count when the rep is embodied by space rocks whose entire species only creates a single gender? Feels like a cop-out

Same with Good Omens. Yeah, Crowley and Aziraphale clearly love each other… but you never see them kiss or declare their intentions. It’s great ace rep though! Unless you want to level the criticism that asexual characters are always nonhuman

A character intended to be a minor guest becomes a show staple and eventually declares his love for one of the two main characters… except then Castiel immediately dies, Dean doesn’t respond, and they never meet on screen again

I finished Queen’s Gambit the other day and the main character had a one-night stand with a woman! … but everyone is talking about how bisexuality is used to represent her lowest point, so that’s bad too

I could go on for literal pages. Some of these arguments I agree with (Dumbledore), others I’ve pushed back against quite strongly (Crowley and Aziraphale), but all of them are valid criticisms depending on what part of the queer community you’re in and what your expectations are. My point here is that it’s all “bad rep.” I mean that seriously. If anyone reading this is scrambling for the comment section to say why [insert media title here] is actually fantastic rep, I guarantee that someone disagrees. Or if they don’t, give it some time. Just wait until the characterization becomes offensively outdated, or another part of the story ruins the relationship, or it comes out that the author did something truly horrific, or the terminology changes and it’s labeled as “problematic” now… just wait. At some point, any rep we feel is good rep now will be criticized, cancelled, and dragged through the mud. The rep that I personally haven’t seen much push-back against—like the beloved Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who, or Schitts Creek that just won a ton of awards—is wrapped up in the criticism, “So it’s all just about able-bodied, cis, (mostly) white dudes, huh? :/”  Even the argument that queer characters need to be written by queer authors doesn’t hold up. I absolutely adored Sense8. “Wow, a gay main character in a loving relationship with another gay man, both of whom enter a loving poly relationship with a woman, another lesbian trans main character who marries the love of her life on screen, an entire cast arguably queer due to them sharing orgy scenes centered around the emotional intimacy they share, everyone survives, and this was written by two trans women! Great, right?” Well, not according to the wealth of opinions explaining how Sense8 is horrible rep, actually. Every piece of rep we’ve got is either currently flawed or will become flawed in the future.

So what do we do with that?

That’s where my “I’d rather have bad rep than no rep at all” comes in. For me, that’s not waving the white flag. That’s not an oath that I won’t expect better rep in the future (I do) or that I won’t criticize the rep we get (BOY DO I), but rather just an acknowledgement of reality. The vast majority—if not the entirety—of rep is “bad rep” in one way or another, but I’d still rather have it than nothing at all. Because I’ve lived just long enough and studied media just enough to know what nothing looked like. It was watching all queer characters meet untimely deaths. Before that it was watching queer characters be derided and treated as jokes. Before that it was nothing but coding, where queer characters didn’t exist except in our own headcanons and interpretations. Obviously “bad rep” covers a very large range of issues and “They haven’t even confirmed this relationship yet” is a bigger issue than “This queer character embodies one or two, mild stereotypes,” but ultimately I’d take any of it over nothing at all. And enjoying what we’ve currently got doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle for it indefinitely.

To use an iffy analogy, imagine there’s a factory. This factory makes plates. So. Many. Plates. Big plates, small plates, plain plates, decorative plates, plates for every possible occasion in your life—and everyone with a steak for dinner is pleased as punch. You though? You’ve got soup. You need a bowl. Your entire life you’ve been struggling to eat your soup off a plate (it doesn’t work) and listening to friends and family claim that the plate with a slightly raised edge could be a bowl if you squint (it’s not). To say it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But then, one day, the factory starts producing bowls too. Hurray! Except as soon as you get your hands on one, you’re told you really shouldn’t be using it, let alone praising it. Look at the state of that bowl! It’s cracked right down the middle, ugly as hell, shoddily made all around… you’re not really going to settle for that, are you? And no, you obviously still want the factory to produce better bowls, but at the same time, this is a bowl. You’ve never gotten one before and you can finally enjoy your meal, even if the soup leaks at times. Sometimes a lot. But you’re still feeling better about your meal than you ever have before. And what you then begin to realize is that lots of the plates are a mess too. They also have cracks, they’re also ugly, many are also shoddily made. The difference is that the factory is producing so many plates at such a rapid pace that every steak eater is able to get by. One plate breaks completely? You’ve got a thousand fallbacks. Don’t like the look of this one? A thousand other options. You disagree about what “shoddily made” means? Luckily there are enough plates that everyone can find what they prefer! But the bowls… there’s only a few. Some are really expensive. Others are only available for a limited time before they suddenly disappear. Your bowl breaks and you have to wait months, years sometimes, to get another one. You’re constantly told to go buy this one obscure bowl no one else has heard about and yeah, you like it... but you’d also like to buy one of the bowls everyone is already enjoying. You find yourself looking at the plates and thinking, “I’d like that. I’d like to have so many options that the flaws, while still a problem, are much more bearable.” You’re still going to demand that the factory get its shit together, you’re still going to (rightly) complain about the awful quality of your bowl… but it’s still nice to have a bowl, period. There are still things you like about it, even if it’s a mess: the color, the size, the beauty of the shape of it. Its potential. You’re still pleased you have something to enjoy and that helps serve the need you’re looking to fill, even if that something is imperfect.

That’s “bad rep is better than no rep.” To bring this very long response back to Blake/Yang, I don’t think their problems negate their benefits. Is their relationship currently non-canonical and filled with a number of writing issues everyone has a right to be angry about? Yup. I express that anger a great deal. Are they still half of a team on a very popular show that is (presumably) set to be canonized as queer? Yup. I’d much rather live in a world where big shows like RWBY try to include queer rep and fail in a multitude of ways—with the expectation and hope that they’ll continue to improve—rather than in a world where authors a) don’t care or b) are too scared to try. Because that’s where a “good rep or no rep” stance leads. The danger isn’t homophobes because they’re, well, homophobes. It doesn’t matter if the rep is good or not, they hate it on principle. But if queer authors writing for other queer identities, or allies writing queer identities, or even queer authors writing their own experiences (like in Sense8) continually come under non-stop fire for their attempts… there’s a good chance that many people won’t ever try. We’re already seeing that here on tumblr with young authors admitting that they wouldn’t touch [insert topic here] with a ten-foot pole because just look at what happens when you get it wrong. And authors will get things wrong because authors are fallible people forever unlearning their own ignorance. So though it might sound strange coming from a blog that has turned into such a RWBY critical space, I am glad that RWBY’s queer rep exists, despite all the frustrations that I share about it. I think a RWBY with various types of “bad” queer rep is better than a RWBY with no queer rep at all, particularly when “bad” or “good” is so intensely subjective. There’s a middle ground between passively accepting whatever we’re given, and tearing into rep with such ferocity that we end up rejecting it all. There’s a space where we can be critical of rep and embrace the parts that work for us, simultaneously.

I hope and expect the het rep will get better too, but… that’s never going to happen instantly. To quote RWBY, there’s no magic wand we can wave to fix all our problems. Rather, it will take slow, plodding, meandering, lifetimes’ worth of work to see that change occur and I personally don’t want to spend the one life I have waiting for that perfect rep to show up. Because it’s unlikely that it will. While we work, I’d rather find the good in what rep we’ve already got.  

[mercuryislove]

Don’t hate me but… I kinda want you to answer all of the deep dive WIP asks 🥺 if that’s unreasonable tho, just 2, 9, and 10 please!

I am SORRY for the delay!!! i answered every question for BOTH projects so you're in for like.... several thousand words of shit that makes absolutely no sense, but i hope you you enjoy it! :)

1. Who are two characters that don't like each other? What do they reveal about each other to the readers? Will they ever learn to put aside their differences?

White Crane: okay this is hard because like. so many people do not like each other. (I know I made a post once about how terrible it would be to be one of twenty-eight people that have the power of dead gods but are trapped in stupid human bodies and you're all a thousand years old and hate each other so so so so so much because you all SUCK.) But for the sake of simplicity, I will talk about Ciaran and Sihla who never got along but only played nice to keep Anwei happy. They absolutely do NOT put aside their differences lmao once everything kind of, um, blows up between the three of them, all they want to do is KILL each other. She makes it her life's goal to make him suffer, and he basically loses his sanity in the process of trying to find a way to kill her for good. The beef is unbelievable. ANYWAY, what they reveal about each other is that Ciaran is not nearly as innocent in anything as he likes to pretend and Sihla is not as guilty as everyone says she is. I mean, she is still a terrible person in many ways, but that does not excuse the things he did to her all those years ago. She hates him for many, many good reasons.

Old Blood: Andhira HATES the entire Ekion family, but specifically the oldest son (who does not have an official name yet.... oops). He doesn't much care for her either but is usually too busy trying to better his social standing to worry too much about her. Except when they're in the same room together (which happens semi-regularly because her brother is kind of in love with him lmao). They hate each other for the exact same reason and it's that they're both SO arrogant. They look down on everyone around them (which in Andhira's case is like. fair. She's the firstborn of the two most powerful people on the planet, and the only person that comes close to that level of power is her twin brother who was born a mere fourteen minutes after her) but think the other is completely unjustified in their actions. Really all it reveals to a reader is that they both kind of suck and need to get over themselves because all that behavior does is make people resent you. They only put aside their differences because she does kind of need his help once or twice, but they would gladly spit in each other's face and/or push each other down a flight of stairs in the name of pettiness.

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2. What do you hope your readers will take away from your wip? Is there an intentional theme to the story?

These can be answered together! I started writing these stories because I wanted to have fun but they've both kind of morphed into a long-winded way of saying that like. it's okay to be messed up and hate yourself and have major internal struggles because there are people who still love you. I KNOW it doesn't sound like that from uhhhhhh literally everything I've ever said about this stuff but bear with me. The BIG theme is that love is EVERYTHING. All kinds of love. It's the reason to keep on going. You are never alone, even strangers can love you in their own way, etc etc etc etc. Also gay love fucking prevails always and forever.

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3. What do you love most about your protagonist?

Yixing is funny and weird and definitely a horse girl and he kind of sucks sometimes because he's stubborn as hell and has terrible people skills and maybe also a drinking problem, but he is kind and empathetic and despite the absolute hell he's lived through, he still sees the good in people and knows that it's easy to make mistakes and that most people deserve second chances in life. Also I like him because he is without a doubt the ideal man and I made him that way on purpose. And god I wish we could drink together. I'm talking stumbling drunk, crying on the bathroom floor, please-hold-my-hair-i'm-about-to-throw-up kind of drinking. We would have a great time being stupid together I think.

Vera is resilient and mean and stubborn and cold and off-putting and hard to get to know, and she sucks for those reasons but it's also why I love her so much. She has also lived through hell and it didn't make her try to see the good in people like Yixing does. It just made her bitter and resentful. She warms up over time, but she fights tooth and nail against it. I also love her so much because she is the archetype of like. the washed up former prodigy that has to return sort of against her will to her old life, and she realizes that she misses it in some ways but also remembers exactly why she left. I would Not want to drink with her (because she doesn't drink anymore), but I would love to take one of her art classes.

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4. Is there anything in the story that is implied but not directly stated? Will this become more relevant later on? How perceptive would a reader have to be to pick up on this?

White Crane: This is hard because I'm so invested in my own shit that it feels obvious to me, but I try to lay out a little candy trail that tells the reader that Ciaran and Anwei are Not What They Seem right from the start. It’s hard to explain without specific examples but it’s in the way they talk, they way they interact with other people, the way certain things they say don’t line up, etc etc etc. And there is a Big Hint of what will happen to Ciaran in the second and third installment, but idk if that counts. Also there are definitely implications that Yixing is trans but that's neither here nor there (honestly I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not he should be explicitly trans or if it should be left to reader interpretation because well... I don’t know if I'm capable of writing the nuance of transness because I'm not trans despite my complex and confusing relationship with gender but I'm also not a thirty-something year old Asian man NOR am I a god NOR am I a former vampire hunter NOR am I like. any of the things I write about other than a mean lesbian so. who knows?)

Old Blood: TRUE FANS already know this one, but regular degular readers that haven't participated in funny question friday or read my random late night posting would not immediately know that Josef and the Sovereign were once involved. Basically the only characters in the story that know are Josef, Luka, the Sovereign himself, and Tahire. But there are definitely some hints peppered throughout conversations and perhaps some photos and trinkets that Josef has kept after all this time... It has like no weight on the events of the story but I just think it's fun. Once again I am way too invested to know if it's easy to pick up on or not but I think it takes some theorizing about maybe? Other than that there aren’t any significant secrets.

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5. Which character has the most intricate backstory? Is this backstory common knowledge from the start, or is it revealed later on? How does the backstory affect the narrative?

White Crane: this is unfair because some of the characters are almost a thousand years old and some of them are like. 35. I DO have a full timeline written out of the thousand years of history that Ciaran and Anwei have lived through, if that counts as an answer. Like it doesn't have every single day and year, but it has all the big events for sure. Barring that, Yixing definitely has a pretty complex backstory. The man gets around lol and I try (and maybe fail?) to make him seem not too complex initially but then things get revealed and you learn more about him and are like “oh my god no wonder this man has Problems.” Also if he was like. “normal” and perhaps “well-adjusted” the story would not exist at all because he is the way he is and makes some of the stupid decisions he does because of his weird little life.

Old Blood: ONCE AGAIN, this is unfair because the Sovereign is like older than god. And Vera is 37. But like. I haven't fleshed him or any of the old ass vampires out nearly as much as Vera so there's your answer I guess? And I guess the important things are known from the start (that she was a prodigy, that she retired because terrible shit happened and she couldn't handle it, that she suffers from significant ptsd because of it, etc), but there is a lot of detail that doesn't come out until much later when she has to confront her Feelings (ewww feelings). Uh... the backstory affects the narrative because it wouldn't exist at all if Vera wasn't plagued by her fucked up blood nightmares lol

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6. Which two characters have the most complicated relationship? How does their relationship develop over time?

White Crane: Ciaran and Anwei totally. They love each other because they're brother and sister and were all the other had for a VERY long time (and even when they were still uh mortal, they relied on each other constantly), but also they hate each other because they're brother and sister. You know how it is with siblings. I love my brother and sister to pieces but I can't imagine being immortal and having to put up with the both of them for all eternity (sorry guys if you are reading this somehow.... I love you but we are all so annoying god bless). They handled their newfound godhood very, very, very differently and it kind of colors their relationship for the rest of time. There were times where they were extremely codependent and other times where they didn't speak to each other for DECADES. At the start of our story, they're on much better terms and have buried all their hatchets, but it doesn't take much for that to change....

Old Blood: Probably Vera and Andhira? They're only brought together because of their shared fucked up blood nightmares, and neither of them like that thought. They both resent the other for everything they are, and Vera is pretty much completely hostile to Andhira about it for a long time (and Andhira is only just barely cordial lol), but obviously a significant part of the plot revolves around them like. falling in love so they DO get over it after a while :)

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7. What is the most heart-wrenching scene in your wip? Why?

White Crane: When Yixing fucking DIES. I feel like this one should be self-explanatory. But I mean if you would like further explanation, it's unpleasant and slow and agonizing and nobody can do anything to stop it (haha....... unless?) so Ciaran gets to hold him for a long time and feel really bad about it lol

Old Blood: idk if there are any really heart-wrenching scenes but there are definitely some miserable and uncomfortable scenes like where Vera relives in vivid detail the days that she witnessed the gruesome deaths of her young apprentice and her last lover. They're upsetting because those are the two days that basically ruined her life (and one was the final straw that sent her spiraling completely out of control) and it's painful to watch her have to live with the guilt of what happened even if it wasn't her fault.

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8. What is a song that you associate with your wip? Explain.

White Crane: not to be basic but absolutely without a doubt in my stupid mind “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears lol it's because uh. well. Everybody wants to rule the world right? Basically way back in 2019 when I was crafting the ideas for the dnd campaign that became this thing instead, I was definitely having a metal gear moment (honestly I’m about to have a metal gear moment NOW lol) and was listening to a lot of like. mgs adjacent music and latched onto this song (and also promises, promises by naked eyes lmao) as some like thematic element. Like my brain making amvs. You know how it is. ANYWAY the point is. The concept was originally way different and was supposed to be more about the immediate aftermath of the so-called end of the world (yes Yixing was still there and yes he was still just some guy), and it focused a lot more on power struggles between all of these insane people that were granted godhood in the wake of the dying world. Which........ is something I'd like to write about at some point because it's intriguing in its own way but at the time I was unequipped to write about that when I really just wanted to write about people who are, for all intents and purposes, quite average getting caught up in the batshit drama of higher powers. (fun fact: Ciaran was supposed to be a tyrant king that ran a death cult and Anwei and Yixing were working together to figure out a way to kill him. Which is. Kind of what my dnd campaign is like now lol BASICALLY he's like if Big Boss was unkillable and could also rip souls out of people's bodies and eat them. I absolutely do not remember what this question originally was. Something about a song?)

Old Blood: THIS is the reason it took me so long to answer this whole thing. I thought long and hard and looked through all my playlists and listened to random songs that came to mind but it turns out the song I was looking for was right in front of me the whole time. DUH. It's “Golden Light” by Twin Shadow :) In my humble homo interpretation, I think it's a song about being afraid to fall in love and. Well. That's the whole point. Also #spoilers but the first time Vera sees Andhira and is like “oops I think I have feelings” is when they've just arrived at Andhira's home and the sun is rising and she looks over at her as they stand at the top of a hill and she has her eyes closed to the sun and she's bathed in golden light and OOUGGGGHGHHH poetic cinema. (honorable mention goes to “Groove is in the Heart” by Deee-lite because it’s quintessential early 90s music that Vera would be super into)

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9. What does your protagonist want most? What would they do to achieve this? What is something they wouldn't do to achieve this?

White Crane: Yixing wants to be happy for once. Like actually really happy instead of just. getting by. There's a scene where they're making wishes for the next seasons during the summer solstice and someone asks what he wants and he's like “uh I guess I want to still be alive at the end of the year?” and the other person is like “isn't that what everyone wants? Raise the fucking bar please. What do you REALLY want?” and he's stands there for a really long time and thinks about it before finally saying “I think I just want to be happy for once” and everyone else is like. wow. Way to kill the fucking mood dude. Anyway. He has had fleeting moments of happiness in his life but wants nothing more than to feel that way forever. It's kind of hard to say what he wouldn't do for that because like. there's not really much you CAN do in the first place, so I feel like there's even less you couldn't do. I guess he wouldn't like sell his soul to the devil or something lmao (though by being involved with Ciaran he's pretty much halfway there)

Old Blood: to be left alone. Vera just wants a normal life. She really truly does want to pretend that none of the horrible shit happened to her and that she was never a world-famous hunter. And she wants to teach art classes and live a quiet life!!! I mean, she is already mostly doing that exact thing when we first meet her, but obviously she has some hindrances (aka fucked up blood nightmares). She is begrudgingly helping Andhira because she assumes that will fix her problem and that she'll be able to get to that quiet living as soon as all is said and done. The only thing she really wouldn't do to get what she wants is like... live somewhere far away from Josef and Luka lol She likes having them close by more than she wants to be left alone.

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10. Within your story's world, were there any events that impacted every character (or most characters)? How would they be different if this event never happened? (Alternatively, erase an important even from on character's backstory and imagine where they'd be now.)

White Crane: well. If the stupid old gods didn't all kill themselves and almost end the world then I guess none of this story would exist lol But the actual answer is like. If Yixing had never run out on his girlfriend of ten years then he wouldn't have moved across the continent to Jengmi and wouldn't have made a name for himself way out there and wouldn't have been scouted and recruited and wouldn't have met Ciaran or Anwei and wouldn't have gotten in the middle of the batshit grudge between a bunch of ancient petty gay people and wouldn't have DIED and wouldn't have made one of the ancient petty gay people in particular lose his grip on his humanity via a lust for power in a desperate attempt to guarantee his safety and wouldn't have been the reason that tens of thousands of people die in his name and wouldn't have accidentally set off a chain of events that resulted in him having to hunt down and kill the Actual God that started it all in a fit of jealous rage. So like. maybe he should have just gone through with the wedding. All things considered, his life would have been way less stressful.

Old Blood: uhhh, that's tough because the stuff that happens only really has any effect on the mortal characters (I mean yeah people still try to kill the Sovereign but they're too dumb to know the ACTUAL way to kill him.... haha unless??), so it would be more like a what if Vera didn't witness the violent deaths of both her apprentice and her lover and have a full blown nervous breakdown and abandon her career? Well...... I think most things in the plot would transpire more or less the same, except she would be WAY less pissed off about it. In fact, she would probably be hyped as hell to get the chance to make the acquaintance of the Sovereign's family like Josef had before her. The thought of Vera being upbeat and not a sleep-deprived asshole that hates being dragged back to her old life..... ew. Not that I enjoy her suffering but you know what I mean. It just wouldn't be the same.

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11. What is something from your wip that you just really want to ramble about?

Are you sure you're ready for this. This is going to be so so so so long I'm sorry in advance. It's Saturday night and I'm alone and kind of sad so I'm just going to let loose.

As I hone down plot elements for next two installments in my little trilogy, I have kind of become obsessed with the passage of time and how different it must feel to someone that, well, lives forever. One of the ways I'd written (that has since been kind of changed) for Yixing to start to figure out what Ciaran really is was that he would casually be looking through his bookshelf and find an old photograph of Ciaran, Anwei, and their mom standing backstage together after one of his performances. And when he eventually asks Ciaran about it, he gets upset because how dare you touch the one thing I have left to remember my mother? To remember what my life used to be like? There are so many names and faces and places and foods and sensations that I've forgotten in the 940 years I've lived like this and I would give anything I have to see any of it just one more time because I didn't know that the last time I would ever speak to my mom we would have an argument on the phone about how I need to go to the temple and pray for good fortune on my birthday, or that the last time I would ever see my best friend would be at 6am when we both came into the studio to practice and he asked me to go out to breakfast and I said no because I thought a nap would be more important. And there are so many people that I've watched die whose names I never learned and whose faces I forgot the moment I turned away, and there are so many others that I loved so dearly that I had to leave behind because they grew old and I didn't. And I have lived lifetimes in solitude to keep myself a secret from other people and I have died more than any person should ever have to die and I have witnessed atrocities no one should ever witness and I hate everything about this life so much but I love everything about this life so much and I wouldn’t trade it for anything but I think I would give it all away in an instant if only to remember the scent of my mother's favorite perfume and I think I would give it all away in an instant if it meant I didn't have to watch you turn to dust in my arms.

ANYWAY. I think a lot about the agony of loving things that aren't permanent and how it really DOES drive you mad because lately I have been unbelievably nostalgic for certain things that weren't even that long ago but..... I didn't appreciate them at the time and I feel so guilty about it. (And like. I too would give up my entire life to be able to remember the scent of my grandmother's favorite perfume.) And all my pent-up sadness is for things that only happened in my childhood. I have pictures and videos and other people to share those memories with, but what does it feel like to be one of very few people that watched the entire world fall apart and rebuild itself and have nothing to hold onto from that time? What does it feel like to foster dozens of generations of children and outlive every single one of them? What does it feel like to have only fragments of memories of entire lifetimes? How lonely is it? I mean, Ciaran and Anwei have each other and that makes a difference but it still has to be the most isolating feeling. And then there's the pain that comes with memories that have faded or otherwise become hazy. I doubt either of them remember their father's face. They hadn't seen him in years even before it all happened. If it wasn't for that single photo he has, they wouldn't remember their mother's face either. Do they still remember her name? Or her birthday? Do they remember anyone else? Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, coworkers? If they do, do they even want to talk about it? One thing I worry about in my own life (and this is how I know I have Problems) is that I'm so afraid that talking about memories will alter them somehow. There are so many things that I don't even like to share because once the words are spoken the little vhs tape that has all my memories has been recorded over, even if it's just by a single frame. Something about it has been changed forever each time I talk about it. Do they feel the same way and keep things to themselves instead of sharing the sadness? I think maybe they used to talk about the “old days” or whatever much more often back in the past, but as the years went by.... they just learned to keep it to themselves.

I think maybe I have a lot of anxiety about the passage of time and of being forgotten!

Anyway again. The passage of time drives me insane. And I think it would make me even more insane if I had been chosen to carry the mantle of a dead god and would live forever. My dog died a year ago and I still cry like every single day thinking about her. If I was doomed to live forever I don't know how the sadness wouldn't swallow me whole! No wonder all the people in this book are fucking CRAZY!!

And don't even get me started on the Sovereign lol he's like “oh boo-hoo you've lived for not even a thousand years? Bitch they hadn't invented fucking GLASS yet when I was born. The horse wasn't domesticated yet. Cry harder!!”

[babbushka]

Please read the whole thing ❤️

Hey everyone, Zannah here. 

I’ve taken some time and stepped away from this platform after all the drama that happened a month or so ago, and in that time I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Thank you all so much, for your kindness and support in allowing me to unplug for a little while, I really needed that break just for my own sanity. I hope that in this time, you all have been doing as well as you can in this very stressful year. I’d like to take this brief moment and thank my most dear friends who have been my rock. This experience has shown me that good friends, truthful friends, are hard to come by. If you have them, please make sure they know how much you love them.

You know, I’ve been on this platform for just about ten years. For a few of those years, I’ve been here in the AD community, and I can honestly say I’ve never had a more negative experience in my life, from the actions that I’ve witnessed and experienced. I stayed away from people I didn’t like, I didn’t read fic I didn’t like, I avoided content and artwork that upset me, because I’m an adult. And foolishly I was expecting others to do the same, because as I always say, your internet experience is up to you to cultivate. You are responsible for no one else’s actions other than your own.

I’ve dealt with people coming into my inbox condemning me for the way I interpret fictional characters from day one. I’ve dealt with people calling me slurs and names, telling me to kill myself, telling me they were going to kill me themselves, that I deserve awful unspeakable things, for not agreeing with the way that they interpret a fictional character. Those were all easy to ignore, because they were always, always either about my Jewishness, or about the Jewishness of my characters, and I have no time for bigots, I just don’t.  

People got angry with me for having boundaries in not wanting to write certain things, or for not wanting to write them in the specific way that they wanted me to. People got angry with me for being frustrated, that time and time again I was being treating as some writing machine and not a person, by them not giving me the basic respect of checking the small list of tropes and themes I’m uncomfortable writing which I’ve made so accessible every time. Time and time again I became frustrated, being asked questions that I’ve made clear on so many occasions, that I was uncomfortable answering, or held negative opinions of.

And that was frustrating, because it was a level of entitlement I’d never seen before – people wanted my writing, but only if it satisfied their needs with little regard to my own feelings, and called me a bully when I didn’t comply. Still, it was just about the writing, and I could ignore that.

But then, strangers started getting angry with me because I had blocked them for whatever reason from seeing my content. Strangers got angry with me for standing up for myself when people tried to pull stunts in the inbox. When people asked me for advice or my opinion on a whole assortment of topics, they said I was being a bully because they didn’t like what I had to say. A difference of opinion is not a personal attack, but it seems as though many people haven’t grasped that concept. People said I was betraying others’ trust by answering anonymous asks on the internet, something that has exactly 0 risk or stakes in sending. People said I was a bitch when I tried to offer genuinely constructive and critical responses. People got angry that I blocked their IP address for sending me unwanted, anonymous, negative hot takes that I didn’t ask for, nor that I cared about. People said I never took accountability for anything, when in reality they just wanted me to change my mind about certain topics, and got angry when I held true to my convictions. 

I hope you can all imagine why I didn’t respond pleasantly. Like every content creator on this website and on any website, we don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t owe anyone writing, I don’t owe anyone answers, I don’t owe anyone attention or time. And something that I’ve learned most of all, is that I don’t owe people the pleasure of indulging in flame wars that get brought to my feet. I am not interested in wasting my time trying to defend myself and my good name, against people who have already made up their mind about me from a few misunderstandings, a single interaction, or a one-sided and angry perspective. I’m not interested in wasting my time over things that I know in my heart, aren’t true.

One thing people sometimes tell me, is that I was “rude to a perfectly genuine anon.” I would like to say this; there is absolutely no way for me to know the intention of any anon, other than the way the message comes across. And I’ll be the first to admit, often intention is misinterpreted! When that happens and the person reaches out, I always, every time, have apologized. And just as easy as it is for me to misinterpret someone’s genuine ask as rude or offensive, it is easy for my genuine responses to be interpreted as rude or clipped. Tone is difficult over the internet -- tone is difficult in text where these people are anonymous strangers and I have no idea who they are or with which intentions they’re coming from. 

That being said, people can still say hurtful things without the intention of doing so. People have said unintentionally hurtful things to me, and I now realize that I have said things which have been hurtful to others. Good intentions mean nothing, when real hurt and pain is caused. To those people, I would like to give a genuine and sincere apology. I hope, as all I can ever do is hope, that folks here know I never come from a place of malice. Moving forward, I will do my best to respond in ways that I hope will come across as respectful as possible, even when disagreeing. I believe the only legitimate form of apology is changed behavior, and I intend to make that change so that this space can be more inclusive and welcoming, as I have only ever wished it to be. 

Because, well, I like to think that we have made a welcoming and inclusive space, a space where we are able to respect one another’s boundaries. I am just one person, just a girl with a blog on the internet who has tried to forge a community of peers and friends. I am not a politician with a PR team approving my every post, there are no mods here to help me interact with you guys. I’m just a girl who writes fanfic and posts it on the internet. I write fanfic that makes me happy, that I’m proud of, for me, and I am happy to share it with you. Especially because through that fanfic, I’ve met incredible wonderful people, and I’m thankful for all of you.

Through having this blog, I’ve met people that I consider to be lifelong friends -- people that I plan on building a future with, and for that I’m forever grateful. I’ve met people who have become inspired to write their own fanfic or start their own blogs, and even when it’s a subject matter that’s not something I’m interested in or one that I personally don’t like, I have always, always been encouraging. Because this is a hobby, this is something people should be doing for fun, because they want to, and no other reason. So when I see claims that “I’ve forced people to quit writing” or someone saying “I quit the fandom because of you”, I know that that’s simply not true. The only way you quit writing is by not writing anymore. It may feel better to blame someone for the reasons why, but no one can make you do anything except yourself. 

Similarly, I’ve seen people saying that I’ve “ruined their favorite character” and to that all I have to say is what I’ve always been saying; if you don’t like my writing, you don’t have to read it. If you don’t like my interpretation of characters, you don’t have to consume the content I put out. If you don’t like my opinions, you don’t have to follow me. People don’t “ruin characters” for anyone else, when you simply avoid the content you don’t like, and focus on (or make) the content you do like.

Have I been confused when someone shares my story with a tag that didn’t make sense and so I reached out to them privately to address the issue? Yes. 

Have I expressed my negative feelings about fics and the trends of fandom in the comfort and boundaries of my own blog, in posts that I remove when I felt that they no longer were worth keeping up? Yes.

Have I expressed my concerns regarding certain tropes, themes and kinks, opinions formed by my own firsthand experience with them, coupled with the potential damaging effects they may have on a young and impressionable audience like some of those in this fandom? Yes. 

I don’t deny any of these things, because I am not ashamed of any of these things. You don’t have to like it, but that does not make me a monster, nor does it make me a tormenter of this fandom as I have been called.

Tormenting people in fandom is making long scathing posts publicly blasting someone because you’re angry that they blocked you. Or making long public callout posts to warn others in the fandom of my many crimes – crimes which actually aren’t crimes at all – and whipping up a frenzy of frothing at the mouth hate. Or reblogging a post and hijacking it with long commentary about something that has nothing to do with you in an attempt to shame the original poster. Or getting screenshots of private conversations where someone is joking with a person who they once thought was a friend, that are taken out of context and framing them to fit a narrative you’re spinning against them. That’s torment.

This fandom has the most vicious and warped mob mentality that I have ever seen. I’ve seen it in the treatment of Adam and Joanne, I’ve seen it in the treatment of John Boyega and Kelly Marie Tran. I’ve seen it in the treatment of other bloggers, and well, I can say I’ve seen it and experienced it myself. I worry for the future of the fandom, when this sort of behavior is rewarded and celebrated, because people are so quick to simply agree with someone’s impassioned anger instead of thinking critically for themselves.

However (and this is the ‘but’ of the whole post), I cannot make this post and make all these statements without saying that this community has also been a place of kindness and support and acceptance, and I’m genuinely touched by everyone who has ever gone out of their way to talk to me. I thought long and hard about deleting this blog. I thought about just packing up and leaving our corner of the web, or moving to other platforms. I even put out a little announcement on my ao3 that I was done, I was out of here. But it didn’t sit right with me. It didn’t feel right to abandon all the incredibly beautiful, talented, welcoming, supportive and kind people that had found some peace in this corner of the web. I was absolutely blown away by the sweet messages that were sent to my inbox, and my DMs, the posts that were circulated written by friends and strangers alike literally brought me to tears. 

I know that many people here do not like me, and want nothing to do with me, and that’s okay. I know that my content is not for everyone, my opinions are not going to be lined up with everyone else’s, that’s okay too. People have not liked me from the beginning lol, that’s nothing new to me. I have always said, that I would continue to write even if no one read my stuff, and that’s still true. You are in charge of your internet experience, follow the people and consume the content that makes you happy, and block out the things that don’t. 

If you are reading this and you are one of the kind people, one of the supportive and understanding people who are on my side, I cannot say thank you enough. The time I took away made me realize that there are much larger problems in the world than strangers on the internet having negative opinions about me, and that kindness will always be more powerful than hate. The community we have built together means more to me than the bullshit other people try and start.

So, all of this is to say, that I’m back.

Some things are going to be a little different around here; I’m very very sorry I know I said I would never do this but I’ve turned the anonymous function off for the time being just for the sake of my sanity, and I’ve updated my FAQ. Writing will no longer be posted directly to tumblr, but rather a redirect link from AO3 will be posted making all tag-list requests null and void.

But other things will remain the same. We’re still going to have sleepovers, I’m still going to accept prompts (but please give me some time before we get back to sinday, as I’m still in a little bit of unease about all of this). I’m still going to be talking about my personal AU, and I’m still going to be uploading fanart and gifs and memes and shitposts and answering your questions and giving you the love you all have shown to me over the years.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for giving me the time to say my peace. I know it’s a long post, but I’ve been sitting on these thoughts for quite some time, and I’m relieved to finally express them. Please know that my posting this isn’t intended to stir up anything, or cause any drama, or relive any pain. 

I just missed you all very dearly. I hope that we can move onward and upward together, a babbushka 2.0 of sorts. It’s an exciting time to be in this fandom, and I am looking forward to experiencing everything together.

I’m sending you all of my love. 

[snapeaddict]

YMMV but Lily was a stand in for Rowling. It's why the relationship with James is uncomfortable to read.

(I hope I guessed the meaning of stand in well because I am not totally sure)

In reference to this post about Gryffindor's (and JKR's) belief in their moral superiority.

Ah, yes op. I do think JKR wrote Lily as this, in her eyes, symbol of perfection for Harry, this symbol of goodness and kindness. I'm sure she saw her behaviour toward Severus as completely okay and positive, I'm sure she never questioned her writing of this apparently flawless character even during The Prince's Tale. But the fact she wrote Lily as flawless (more of a symbol than a character, honestly) doesn't mean she is actually flawless and we now know how problematic JKR's work can be.

I think, and this is a personal opinion, that JKR wrote Lily according to her standards of what a good person is like. Standards she also applies to herself, because she, as an author, and Lily, as her stand in character, have many similarities in the way they view the world and behave toward others. I am of course not comparing a real person and fictional character, but trying to show how one can influence the writing of a character - and what this person thinks of this character, which can be reflected through the narrative and main character's POV. Then, by extension, all of this strongly influences our own views on the character as readers, especially when reading the books for the first time. Some things that are disturbing to us and not understood by Rowling:

Strong belief in your own moral integrity: JKR seems to use her books as a weapon against those who point out her narrow-mindness, constantly reminding us she wrote them as a message of love and acceptance, "including" diversity in her world. She never questions her own behavior. She wrote Lily as morally flawless also because she is a Gryffindor and muggle-born: Lily, if you follow her narrative, is in her right to condemn and be critical of Severus' friends and choices, and to highlight her Gryffindor classmates moral superiority (ie they don't use dark magic) to justify the fact she grants herself the right to judge her friend and condemn his friends without addressing bullying. Because she knows better, and is moraly superior. Just as the narrative never really adressed the fact bullying by Gryffondors on a Slytherin isn't justified because they are "on the good side". JKR considers herself to be part of the Good People™, for many reasons, thus doesn't see any problem is writing blog posts explaining to some people why they are a threat to her own feminist fight or how they should behave. Of course I make NO comparison between her transphobia and a fictional character's behaviour; I'm just trying to show there is a similar pattern of behaviour which is, if I have to sum it up: I have moral integrity because [...] ➡️ So this moral superiority cannot be questioned ➡️ So this gives me the right to judge you/tell you how to behave without sweeping my own backyard.

Quick to condemn, unable to understand: This moral superiority (let's face it, Gryffindor are always portrayed as moraly superior in the books which nearly always justifies for discrimination against Slytherin) JKR thinks she has for reasons said above has for consequence the fact she gives herself the right to point out people's supposed flaws and "dangerous" behaviour without ever giving them time to explain, or listening to them. She sees what she wants to see, and so does Lily as she wrote her: the narrative makes of the fact she never gives Snape the opportunity to explain himself a normal thing, because we already know he is in the wrong; she already knows it and decided it, so why would she even ask?

Belief in your own right to judge and change people: for all the reasons I wrote above. You can question behaviours, you can point out flaws and issues: but you, as a person, cannot grand yourself the right to say "I know better than you do because this, this and this, so please change for me or I'll stop being kind to you." To JKR, this is perfectly acceptable behaviour (for example, "she knows and love trans people" but to the condition they remain silent and do not threaten her fragile views on feminism. If they do, she'll consider them a threat.) She writes Lily with a similar kind of behaviour regarding Slytherins: "without trying to understand who you are and why you are the person I see standing in front of me, without educating myself on your motives or asking for you pov, I ask you to change to match my own standards, no matter what it costs you."

Use of minorities, etc to serve personal aims and display your moral integrity: We have a whole history of JKR using sexual orientations or racial minorities to promote her work's open-mindness without ever giving them a voice or listening to them, trying to understand them. She writes Lily as a character who has such a good heart she is friends with Slytherin, dark arts affiliated Severus Snape and who knows it: "My friends (moraly superior Gryffindors) don't even know why I still hang out with you". ie "you should be grateful and their opinions have more values than yours to me." She points out her own benevolence at still accepting Severus as a friend, but never tries to understand Severus' own bravery and struggle at still being friend with her while having to survive in Slytherin house as a half blood (which was obviously more difficult). While reading this particular extract from the text, I cannot unsee the fact she (or JK) seems to think she does Severus a favor for being his friend (in context it's perhaps understandable), but it's very telling JKR would write this - we get the message as readers. The conclusion being, Lily had to be this moraly perfect girl as she had a Slytherin friend. I cannot say it's not implied by the narrative or it's not what JKR thought (she has lesbian and trans friends, so what she says cannot be discriminating/are justified by her supposed openness). Another disturbing and wrong way of thinking.

Belief that your belonging to one oppressed minority prevents you from oppressing others: JKR uses her identity as a woman in a patriarcal society, her statues as a woman who suffered from this patriarchy, to justify her transphobia and point out the fact she, as part of a group which is oppressed, do not oppress others (her blog post on "Why I'm not transphobic" is very telling). My feelings when I read Lily's character (but this may be interpretations from my part) is that her statues as muggle-born also automatically grants her moral integrity or at least a moral compass (narrative-wise) to be judgemental over Severus' relations and to decide whether or not the Marauder's actions toward him were serious: there is a kind of disturbing hierarchy that is created with Slytherin using dark arts and having prejudices against muggle borns (according to her) vs the Marauders and their pranks (not serious at all especially in comparison for her, and anyways they are Gryffindors). As if the fact she is the victim of oppressors means she doesn't have responsibilities or all she does is somehow justified or cannot mean ill (for example, turning her back on Severus while he is being sexually assaulted after he insulted her. She had a duty to perform as a prefect, which she wasn't even doing well before he said anything). The problem isn't her, she has reasons to act the way she does and flaws like all human beings. The problem is that the narrative (thus JKR) sides with her and never have us readers question her behaviour as well. It matches her inner belief that some people's moral integrity cannot be questioned for certain reasons. We are never offered another pov, we are never shown another perspective (of course Lily as a character isn't the one supposed to be this meta): for example, we could have been shown how easy it is to fall into radicalisation especially when you're an abused and neglected child from a poor social background and a minority. (Again I'm not saying it was up to Lily as a character to understand this. She had no obligation toward Severus and isn't all mighty and a Saint. The "problem" is that the narrative is trying to portray her as such because the author truly believes this is how a good person behaves and should be looked at.)

All of this of course being unconsciously accepted, but never put in question. Lily's behavior being of course viewed more positively because no matter how flawed it was, it served honorable aims: fighting against the disgusting blood purity ideology. Her values are honorable. So to me, of course JKR was convinced of Lily's human perfection and inherent goodness because I think she wrote her according to her own views and beliefs on the matter. Which is why, if we grant importance to the narrative, her marrying someone as crual as James Potter is disturbing according of what is said of her:

"Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even, and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn't see it in themselves."

But, when you take a step back, you realise that her marriage with James is a consequence of JKR's internalised sexism, as she heavenly implied macho and possessive behaviour such as displayed by James were attractive to girls in the end, and, if you take another step back, you realize JK never understood the seriousness of the bullying she wrote so it didn't look so appealing to her that Lily would date James as it is to us.

Then, if we really think of the characters themselves and not JKR's intentions, I think James and Lily were a good match for various reasons, not all negative.

I'm afraid this is a little clumsy and I just really want to say, I'm not blaming Lily for her behavior even if we must acknowledge the fact she wasn't a very good friend and was very far from being perfect; I'm not making a comparison between real life issues and fictional ones, or between author and fictional character: I'm trying to show why Lily appeared as such a model of goodness into JKR's eyes, which shines through the way she tells the story, because she was written according to the writer's standards - some standards and positions we cry about every day when we open twitter. It's not really about her transphobia or use of minorities, but the reasons why she thinks she has a right to give judgemental opinions and ask people to change, her own system of thinking. Her - phobia are a consequence of this but I have to talk about them to show how it seems to me JKR thinks of herself and of others.

This is not anti Lily Potter, she still was a good person and lived in a particular context which also explains certain aspects of her behavior; this has nothing to do with making Snape look better or finding him excuses.

It has everything to do with the way the author viewed her characters and certainly failed to understand the seriousness and complexity of all subjects she chose to address. With the way she sees things and how her characters behave sometimes accordingly.

(Like, for example, not making any comparison, I'm sure she really thought it was positive when she created the house elves, slaves that are happy to be slaves and making fun of those who are disturbed by their conditions and having the only free elf die; I'm sure she thought the message was good when it clearly reeks of colonialist fantasy, thus her own opinions and views as a white British in the 90s [not generalising this to anyone else!], certainly internalised.)

PLEASE MAKE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "SHE WRITES LILY THIS WAY" AND JUST "LILY".