#again no hate don’t want to be a downer on people who are excited but. the concept of this is so so risky to me

[allenkleinofficial]

Also there is no way one director can make a quality movie out of all of their lives. They’re gonna make an epic about Ringo’s gangster life and then the other three will be flops very revealing of the directors disinterest (made out of the last of their budget lolll)

[vampirewhohuntsvampires]

I ramble saur much in this all I talk about is likening my boyfriends and the future and my mother erm don’t mind me. Read if you want too I make 0 sense in this it’s 6 am

B.being poly and queer is so awesome. I wish my baby self could see me right now. Everyone soo cruel to you making you think being black, fat and having a weird gender made you unloveable or that you’d just have to settle for someone who only tolerated you. I was high key a hopeless romantic as a kid, which I ended up dying off on its own. Dating isn’t the end all be all for loving yourself, I would have done that journey for me anyways. But it makes it much more awesome when there’s someone who does fall in love with you, and then it happens again. Literally life changing to wake up every morning and remember there are people out there who love you and adore your company, who do find you hot, who care about you. I had a lot of these comforts with friends to begin with but it’s like a cherry on top if I think hard about it. Honestly I just think I wake up happy cause it’s usually my first thought. I’m like a sap at my core but it’s a fight actually sharing my thoughts I get so shy and I would hate to be repetitive, this entire post is just me being sappy it probably isn’t coherent

Ermmm also my birthday coming up so that’s an added factor, when I convinced myself in high school I wouldn’t make it past 21, I was not expecting to be any kind of relationship by then. So well, obviously I’m pushing past 21 now cause it’s nawt like I can just die on them like that lol. I also have a better string of friends so it’s not like I could die on them either, fortunately I must survive. It’s also made me like re think a lot of my views and life goals, do I wanna go back to STEM? Do I want to write? Be a history teacher? Honestly I’ve even rethought my stance on not wanting kids because I was right at the time, but I lack the self hate that made me unfit for a parental roles also I’ve been working with kids all my life so what the fuck was I on. That’s a conversation I’ll probably have to have in the future though when things get more serious. Idc right now.

I also kind of wish i got the chance to introduce my mom to either of my boyfriends. Like it probably would have been a rough start but she woulda understood eventually. Out of everyone she was like the most excited about my potential love life. Aufhh. I will probably bring them to the next dia de los muertos celebration, closest thing I got.

Downer aside, I am almost 20 and I am loved. That’s the most exciting thing ever

[dez-wade]

“4x1 on bad and him got hunted in the past 2 hours”

I understand that you don’t like the concept of the green team being split and you don’t like the red team and that’s completely fine! But you guys seem to be complaining about things that don’t need to be complained about? Bad literally gushed about how his 4v1 with red team was the most fun thing he’s done since purgatory started and red kept going on about how insane it was that he survived the fight as long as he did and Etoiles was complementing him in chat. They’re all having a lot of fun. You’re completely entitled to not liking the event or aspects of the event but acting like the event is ruined and it’s terrible when all of the ccs have had a really fun day today by their own admission just seems pointless. And again I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to dislike the red team but so many of these asks and answers are creating this “blue team are having/are going to have such a terrible time now :(“ as if bad wasn’t talking about how hyped he was about all of the people being reunited now on blue team and Tubbo being really excited and saying having new people has given him a new burst of excitement for the event and Fit isn’t going to have to be alone for 3 hours as the first on to log on in his team now that he’s on a team with Pac and tubbo and they’re all excited to be able to play together early again. Idk just seems weird to paint this whole team switch as this massive doom and gloom thing that’s going to ruin the event for ccs and viewers when, by most accounts for viewers and basically all of the ccs are having a blast, vent about you dissatisfaction all you like but you don’t have to pretend it’s because you feel bad for ccs who are doing just fine

4v1 isn't the problem, it's them being hunted down for hours without being able to even go to their base and just having to move to one place or the other and try not to be killed and their stuff taken. Which wouldn't be a problem on another day, but having like 2 people online who are constantly being hunted down without having a minute to settle is kinda an issue.

Yes, they're probably very happy they can just go back to interacting with their old friends on the server instead of fighting for a bitter win they'd just get a wave of hate like it happened in the last few times. Do they look competitive? They're excited to play the event or to talk with their friends? Genuine question since I can't exactly claim (and I haven't) if the CCs are happy or not after this because I'm not watching. I hated the decision, it isn't what I wanted and thus I'll not watch the event anymore. If the CCs like, good for them.

All my complaints were about the Green team getting unfairly eliminated just to get split. But it's better now, isn't it? Etoiles and Roier are happier now, the fandom is happier now. They just got a mechanic that can make them hunt down people, something they weren't able to do in Green. All their problems got fixed.

I have no idea why you guys are so fixated on the little complaints me and other few people have when you're having such a blast. I'm tagging my posts properly so it's not even like I'm forcing you to see my downer posts. So go enjoy your event.

[waugh-bao]

I think one issue is the Stones are trying to treat it as simply a new album rather than a new album after a big and significant loss. And obviously no one wants an album launch to be a downer, but it seems like they would recognize that they get asked about Charlie frequently and do something to address it. It doesn't have to be an album of mournful music, but I wish they would sometimes try and be proactive rather than reactive. I know Mick isn't a 'live in the past' sort of person, but even just taking the time to talk about how it was different without Charlie and they miss him and are excited for people to hear him on those two songs would go a long way. Make it as positive as possible. Instead it is like 'answer one question about Charlie and then they just rush on to talk about Steve.' At the same time, typing that out makes me feel like I'm saying they need to demonstrate their grief more and I don't mean that...but maybe there is a tiny part of me that does want that, to know that they really do miss him even though I know they did love him? Its complicated I guess.

Its different now. Its not going to be the Beggar's Banquet launch or even the Bigger Bang launch. They are in a different place. Mick is 80. Maybe they don't want to talk about age and that but they can't act as if everything is still just great and everything is like it has always been. The fact that they are talking about their collaborators and guest artists...I don't think the old Stones would do that. They were enough, they don't need other headliners.

Obviously we are looking at things through a definite Charlie slant because he's our guy. But I think all Stones fans know the band is different now. I don't need everything to be 100% Charlie-centric but there has to be something beyond "oh yeah that guy who was our foundation for 60 years is gone now but oh well, moving on" I really, really hate to think of them doing it again if something happened to Ronnie. Would Mick do it if something happened to Keith?

I think as much as, or more, than wanting a ‘demonstration of grief’, it’s a matter of respect. They spent 60 years working so hard to make the world see what an amazing drummer and wonderful human being Charlie was, made a point to have him as the centerpiece of the No Filter and 60th Anniversary Tour shows, and always do something for his birthday, death date, etc. (What’s been said in interviews has been a little less consistently great since he passed, but they’re human, and obviously there are a lot of complicated emotions to work through, including anger). Now it just feels as though they’ve entirely dropped the ball, or are even trying to shove any mention of his aside, like he’s some ‘disloyal’ band member who quit instead of a person who loved them but had no choice in leaving.

Oh, totally. They know, though they would never admit it, that a Stones album with a ton of collaborators and guest/fill-in artists is almost never a great Stones album. Dirty Work (1986) is the archetypal example of that. And I think you’re right, a lot of what makes this feel so discomforting is that they’re treating it like every other album launch, when the unspoken assumption underlying it is that this is the last album launch. They don’t have 18 more years to fool around. Like the bit in the press conference where Fallon asked them how fast the album was done, Ronnie said “very”, and Mick explained that they’d been “lazy” about it up to a point, but for reasons he couldn’t remember, suddenly decided to set themselves a deadline to finish. Everyone knows that’s BS and that some arbitrary deadline wasn’t what kicked them in the ass to get this done, nor does it give a sufficient response for why everything recorded before 2019 was binned.

It’s a bad look, and I think even more eyebrows would be raised if they replaced Ronnie too. As far as Mick and Keith, I wish I could say I knew 100% he wouldn’t make that choice, but I don’t. You’d like to hope Mick has the humanity, or the common sense, to see how bad that would be/look, but with the right record exec in his ear and the promise that he wouldn’t have to retire, I wouldn’t entirely rule it out. And if they do stop if Ronnie or Keith is unable to go on, the lovely implication of such a choice is that Charlie wasn’t worth stopping for, but one of them is. They opened up a Pandora’s box continuing on as they did after No Filter.

[captainfightingflower]

[Large Vent] I scream about how much i really hate The Jackbox Party Pack 10 so far and how it’s ruining my mental health against my will.

If you really really like how The Jackbox Party Pack 10 is looking, don’t read this: it’s going to ruin your mood. I really REALLY don’t like it, to the point i threw up when checking out their newest reveal, and it’s likely going to make you feel bad for enjoying it and that’s really not what i wanna do. It’s truly wonderful you can enjoy something that makes me sick, and my hate shouldn’t take away from your love and excitement for the pack. 

This also talks a bit about how it’s effecting me mentally, and just how bad it’s tearing me appart due to my lack of a reliable alternate hyperfix i can fall back on and sustain myself with. Read this vent at your own risk, it’s kinda just sad and angry and will likely make you feel sad and angry reading it.

The Jackbox Party Pack 10 doesn’t feel like a real pack in the slightest, it feels like someone’s fan concept that people are gaslighting into thinking it’s real.

They all look so bad, how did ANY of these concepts get approved?!? How the actual fuck is the OFFCIAL Jackbox Party Pack 10 feel more like an fan concept than my fucking fan concept?! THAT’S NOT A GOOD THING!!! 

My concept shouldn’t even be COMPAIRABLE to the official thing!! How the fuck does my passion project register more as an official pack than whatever shmuck Jackbox is puking out?!?

AND WHO’S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO REVEAL TWO GAMES BACK TO BACK?!?! DO THEY WANT TO KILL THEIR STAFF?!?!?! BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU KILL YOUR STAFF!!!!

How, how does Jackbox manage to get my expectations to absolute rock bottom and STILL DISAPPOINT ME?!  I expect nothing and i feel offended by how shit these are!! How do they make me physically ill when checking them? I threw up in my mouth when checking out their new toy!

I can’t fucking believe i predicted that The Jackbox Party Pack 10 was going to feel like rat poison to me...i’m terrified at what The Jackbox Party Pack 11 is gonna be to me

It’s to the point where the only way they could make it worse is if they pull another bait & switch and kick Word Spud fans in the shins again like they did for Drawful: Animate’s reveal. If they do that, then i’m going to lose all my respect for them as people, simple as that. Should be impossible since they already revealed their dogshit sequel, but i’ve been wrongfully right before.

Anyways, that’s all of the feelings i’ve been bottling up in regards to this horrendous disgrace to gaming that they’re trying to push. An actual fucking insult to anybody who likes their shit to have soul and don’t kiss Jackbox Games on their ballsack for everything they do (not that their is anything wrong with being a ballsack kisser, you do you as long as you aren’t actively hurting anyone because of your undying loyality).

It’s shit like this that makes me ashamed for being a Jackbox fan, i hate practically everything they do now, desperately scraping the bottom of the barrel for ANYTHING i enjoy about them because i am hungry for content and all i’m finding is rotten junk everyone else thinks is fine dining.

Is there just something wrong with me?! Do i actually like these games, or am i becoming the Jackbox Games pseudo equivalent to a Genwunner and i just can’t physically consume anything post Pack 7 anymore without having a massive problem with them as a whole?! This hyperfixation just feels like a ball and chain sometimes and my ankle feels so sore, i want to leave but i just can’t because hyperfixes aren’t an on & off switch i’m allowed to control.

I feel like that Deby downer that just ruins the fun for everyone. I want to love these game, i really do. But i just can’t, they make me sick to my stomach and i just...can’t consume them without crying or getting so angry. I feel like a miserable hag, i just want to love their packs again...i really really do and it’s tearing me appart internally to see everyone having fun and getting excited and i’m just unable to enjoy anything but unsustainable table scraps that leave me a sniffling mess at every nibble.

I gotta watch this company slowly kill itself and the only thing i can do is make memes complaining about my frustrations on Twitter. I’m just so tired....but i feel better with this all out there, i hope i can find a sustainable hyperfix to fall back on when Jackbox Games is failing me...i may depend on it.

[yourstrulyaiko]

o𓆩♡𓆪; MY HAPPY ENDING PT.3 | HEADCANON 𓆩♡𓆪  

╰┈➤ featuring; boku no hero academia! drummer! bakugou katsuki! x lead singer! fem! reader  

જ about; Heartbreaks. Aches. Dreams shattered. You feel like there was no bridging between you and your goal as an artist. Especially since the bridge that connected you that was your ex-boyfriend, Shindo, who you met at club. Now, that you’re separated. You thought, that was it. No more. Well, you thought wrong.

જ contents and warning; profanity cause bakugou is on it, asshole bakugou, cigarettes, smoking, angst, drummer bakugou, band au, fluff, romance, drama, paparazzi, cheating, break ups, toxic relationships, getting physical (the bad kind) and many more that I have definitely missed.

જ author's note; I actually have a lots and lots of chapter about band au which needs to be revised and re-written. unedited.

LOVE ON THE BRAIN ERA

This is it!

This is your first album with the band

Technically, your debut album.

And you're writing it too while on tour.

QUEEN YOU ARE.

While, you're on a private plane. Scribbling some possible lyrics.

Mina spots you then her little nosy ass is like

"What are you doing?"

Obviously you get a little shy.

You're writing songs in your room not with other people around.

Hiding that old notebook that was barely hanging on together.

"It's just... Some lyrics... I was going to suggest another song or... Maybe an album after tour?

Everyone is excited. Love the idea!

Look at you being so productive!

But debby downer jerk fucking Bakugou has to ruin everyone's parade.

"A fucking album? We're on a world tour and that's what you're thinking of, woman? We're fucking exhausted enough."

Everyday this bitchass always have something to say

And everyday you've had enough of his bitch ass

"Well, if you want this while band to sink down. I guess, I should stop writing. I'm not here to argue with you, Bakugou. I'm here to fucking help you. Whether you fucking hate it."

GO OFF MAMA

Before he could rage again and ignite another argument.

Kirishima, Sero and Mina all gave him a warning glare.

Especially, Kirishima.

This shit was going too far.

Didn't he remember his warning?

At this point, he really have to dig deep and send the message home.

"Katsuki. Talk to me, privately." Kirishima commands.

"Well, if you got something to fucking say. Just say it now." The blonde practically barks.

"Oh, I got a lot to say. But, I'm saving you the embarrassment from everyone. So, either we talk here or privately."

NOW THATS ON FUCKING PERIODT

GO OFF

LET ME SUCK YOUR DI-

Anyways, Bakugou jumps up from his seat and grumbling along the way as he makes his way to the back of the plane.

That's when Kirishima slams him up the wall.

I know this is out character but I gotta-

"What is going on man?"

"There ain't nothing wrong with me-"

"Nothing wrong." Kirishima scoff "I told you about this. (First name) is here to stay and help. This is what we've been fucking fighting for. This is our dream. You're going to let it crash and burn? For what, some stupid fucking girl that clearly didn't care about you?"

"You don’t know shit-" Bakugou tries to shove but Kirishima overpowers him.

"I don't know shit." Kirishima mocks, "I know everything. I've seen it all with my own two eyes. I fucking know."

Bakugou was angry. Pissed even.

"I told you, we're moving forward... I hate to say this but it seems like we’re going without you.. " Kirishima pauses he calms down, "Look, I get it. You've been through a lot. But, if this is how much is affecting you. We'll have to part ways temporarily."

At this point, Bakugou's heart dropped to his stomach and his breath hitches.

Kirishima was serious about his threats

"We have to, Bakugou. We can't stay in the past. I know what happened. We know. I'm sorry. We're here for you. Right now, there are a lot of things you're through and have to unpack. Camie wasn't the best person. We're aware, now that she’s gone. This is your chance to get and ask for help. You're free now."

Kirishima gives Bakugou a firm pat on his back and he leaves.

Leaving Bakugou in his own broken thoughts.

There was about 5 hours left till you arrive in the US

Everyone was asleep at this point.

Except you, you're still revising and re-writing some of the lyrics.

The light above you was on.

It didn’t bother anyone. They were all in snooze land.

Well, except Bakugou.

He woke up because of the light.

He could never sleep with the light on

He sat up to get the eye mask then his naturally drawn into where the source of light is coming from.

It was you, your legs tucked in and you were furiously scribbling away

So deeply concentrated.

He stared for a while. Not noticing him wide awake and just watching you.

Eventually, he just left you in his own little world before falling back asleep.

FAST FORWARD

World tour has come to an end.

It was amazing!

You have never travelled this much your whole entire life,

You were so fucking excited.

Your excitement was so infectious.

Everyone (except Bakugou) all had one thought, 'How cute'

It made them smile uncontrollably.

You're always asking them to take a photo of you with the weirdest shit.

LIKE A FUCKING LAMPPOST?

GIRL-

Why not take a photo with landmark?

And you're eating something. Mina would whip out her phone,

You're showing your plate of pasta or the flower shaped ice cream.

Your whole damn camera roll is just filled with random photos of random shit. Hell you even took photos of the damn seagulls.

Ofc, there's photos of your bandmates doing random shit.

Like that one funny hat you found.

Kirishima being buried in the sand in Barcelona with some sand titties.

Denki gave him the yitties.

You and Bakugou never interacted much at all.

Actually, he avoided you at all coats.

When you are on break from rehearsals and sound checks

He gets up and leaves for a cigarette break.

He only does this with you tho.

Bakugou was speaking Bakugou with everyone else

What do I mean by that?

You know what I mean by that.

Jk, well the usual Bakugou. Calling them with some weird ass nickname and just acting the usual Bakugou

It would be for the better though instead of butting heads.

You all took a 2 weeks break.

This gave you chance to print out all the photos and keep in a photo album.

<3

Since you got paid a phat stack.

You decided to invest in a better keyboard.

Cause your current one is barely holding on

THIS IS WHEN YOU GET TO WORK.

You're a writing machine.

YOU HAVE NEVER WORKED THIS HARD YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.

You didn't even sleep at all.

What break?

Also, you got group chat privileges now too.

Aka, you were added

Denki: Why should I not put water hot oil?

Producer Jirou: NO

Bakugou: What the fuck did you say dunce face.

Sero: Um

Denki: DON'T PUT WATER IN HOT OIL EVEN IF ITS ON FIRE!

Kirishima: I'm coming over! Get out of your apartment

Bakugou: DIDN'T YOU FUCKING LISTEN DURING SCIENCE LESSON?!

Mina: I so knew that.

There are also constant reminder too to take a break

But it seems like you're the only person who isn't taking this time to take a break.

Everyone is out having fun,

So, Sero texted that you are all going to hang out and meet them at the station.

Well, you do need it. Since you've only been writing and working for a week in your shitty apartment.

When you got to the station, everyone was there (except Bakugou)

All dressed weirdly to hide their identity cause they're more famous than you

"Hey!" Mina waves her arms wildly,

"Hey, so where are we going?"

"We're going to Bakugou's house." Sero informs you.

Oh, you're shitting yourself.

You're VERY aware this man doesn't like you.

And now you're going to his house?

You're meeting the lord savior Jesus Christ much earlier than expected.

Kirishima can sense that you're pretty nervous.

Denki is all like, "DoN't WoRrY, bAbY gIrL. i'M hErE tO pRoTeCt YoU."

Throwing his arms around you.

On the way there, you're already fucking shaking.

Walking from the train station to his house.

You're feeling sick. You want to throw up.

Now, you don't know know that this man was rich, rich.

He got a big house.

He got daddy and mommy money.

When the doorbell rang.

You're in fight or flight mode.

The person who opened it tho wasn't Bakugou.

Nope, it was a much older man.

It's his dad.

Now, you're wondering where the hell did he get his personality.

He lets you all in.

Not before making sure to shake your hand and welcome you into their home.

"Ah, you must be (First name), their new lead singer. Nice to meet you." “I’m Masaru. Katsuki’s father.”

HE'S SO FUCKING CUTE.

"Now, I've been wondering when the hell are you brats going to visit us."

Ah.

The MILF She's basically Bakugou but a hot MILF woman. Same attitude. Same appearance.

But, feminine.

She looks at over to you.

Not gonna you got nervous or hor-

"So, you're the new lead singer?"

Yes, ma'am.

Are you going to get shouted at again?

"Oh my God, aren't you so fucking pretty?" “My name is Mitsuki by the way! I’m the brat’s mother! You know the one who whacks his stick on the drum.”

She's squishing your cheeks.

She's praising you!

Fangirling.

How many of you can say that a Milf is fangirling over you?

Exactly.

No one.

She's a little too honest too.

"The song My Happy Ending? I've been playing it non-stop in the car radio and even on my headphones."

"Masaru, don't you think she's better than the previous lead singer? Who was it again?"

"When are you coming out with the album, hon? It will definitely chart better."

You definitely don't know if she's pulling on your leg or she definitely thought, you're better.

But, hey! You'll take it.

“Hey, ma.” Kirishima spoke up, “Where’s Katsuki?”

YOU CANT CONVINCE ME THAT KIRISHIMA WONT CALL MITSUKI ‘MA’ OR MASARU ‘PA’

“Said he needs to go somewhere.” Mitsuki rolls her eyes, “What? That brat didn’t tell you?”

She goes on a rant about needing to inform everyone especially if they’re coming over for dinner.

She sneaks in a little insult here and there too.

While, Mitsuki is throwing it down the kitchen. You all sat around in their sofa. Masaru is handing out some snacks and drinks.

Not gonna lie, you’re a little uncomfortable.

When, you stand up and try to help.

Mitsuki tells you to sit back down and relax

Yes mommy

Everyone was chatting away and having fun.

When Bakugou finally arrives. Slamming the door behind him.

“I KNOW THAT AIN’T MY FUCKING YOU’RE SLAMMING BRAT!”

They’re getting into screaming matches.

Judging from everyone’s reaction. This was a normal occurrence between them.

Dinner was pleasant. The food was incredible.

Of course, you had to compliment the chef and Mitsuki was incredibly flattered.

She also shared that some of the veggies were grown by Masaru in their back garden.

THIS MAN DESERVES ALL THE PRAISE TOO OBVIOUSLY.

Everyone was having fun, chatting and laughing.

Something that was weirdly uncharacteristic though from one person in the room.

Bakugou.

You noticed that he was so quiet, he was barely eating and just staring at his plate.

He was just so lost in his own little world.

You do wonder what's going in his head.

Break was over, everyone got their well deserve rest.

Except you, cause you're a hardworking ass bitch.

This was going to be a long months of recording. A brand new project,

Immediately, Jirou turned to you the moment you walk into the office.

She's like "What you got?"

EVEN JIROU THE PRODUCER KNOW YOU'RE THAT BITCH.

There are going to be total of 10 songs in the new album

So, you present her your idea and the melody.

Obviously, since she's the producer, she will be the one who has the best and last calls on the final product.

Jirou would tell you; this way is better, add riff here, the runs would be better if it was this way in this part, the pitch is a little off try it this way, this line doesn't make sense can you revise it?

She's just so perfect and amazing.

Eventually, everyone started pouring in. They're pitching their own,

Even Bakugou was contributing into track playing a simple beat.

Everyone is having fun, chatting and sharing laughs in the writing process. Everything is going smoothly,

Mina also decided to film the whole process too. To post on the official YouTube Tokyo Lights channel.

But, you sat back as everyone chatted among themselves.

You're quiet, thinking over the whole song.

Something wasn't clicking with this one. There's something missing...

"Hey, Ei."

"Oh! We're in the nickname stage now?" He grins playfully, "So, what's up?"

"Can you sing?"

"Huh?"

Now, everyone is getting excited.

(Except Kirishima)

Who is protesting about it cause he's never sang before or even been recorded (Sero says otherwise cause he's heard him singing his heart out while he's in the bathroom)

Kirishima is blushing because he's embarrassed about it.

In their past 3 albums, no one else has sang except their former lead singer.

This is really the start of a new beginning.

This album is a bit personal to you.

It was an open letter to your former lover to say you weren't in the good place to love nor did that person deserve your love.

You're fixing a lot of damage done.

It starts off by blocking Shindo's phone number and booking a therapy right away.

The next week, Bakugou sees you outside his therapist office.

TAGS

@xviternity @bluebreadenthusiast​ @chuugarettes​

[jakekgs]

fiance!nikolai headcanons pls

his fiancée headcanons, with nikolai.

nikolai <333 also, if you wanna request, do it here! ps this isn’t my best work srry

masterlist!

okay so, before he asked you, he wasn’t sure why but he was TERRIFIED

you were the best person he knew, and this boy was well aware that both of you were madly in love, and even if you didn’t want to marry him he was sure you wouldn’t dare tell him anyway

but still, the boy was sweating

he was almost certain you knew

you didn’t.

he’d planned everything, thanks to genya

it was on the palace grounds, not too far from the lake and you were wearing a dress he had made especially for you

of course you were suspicious but the idea of marriage hadn’t crossed your mind

there was a dinner beforehand, and you kept narrowing your eyes at him the entire time

“can i not just take my girlfriend out for dinner?”

“nik, we’re the only people here!”

“and what? you love my company!”

“i— saints, i hate you.”

“no you don’t.”

“i won’t if you hurry up and kiss me.”

naturally, be obliged. it wouldn’t been rude of him not to.

it was after you had ate that you walked the palace grounds, and nikolai was being a lot quieter than usual

it was unnerving

“nik, are you okay?”

he looked at you for a moment before he came out with it.

“will you do me the honour of helping me remain superior to everyone else by marrying me?”

“was that supposed to be a proposal?”

“it was. it sounded a lot better in my head.”

“i should hope so!”

“right, turn back around and i’ll do it again.”

you start laughing and he looks at you as though you had kicked a puppy

“what are you laughing at?”

“nik, honey,” you took his hands in your own. “yes, i’ll marry you, now hurry up before the waterworks start.”

he tells everyone and anyone

not about it going slightly wrong of course

“what is she doing here?”

“she is my soon to be wife, speak of her in that way again and i’ll see to it myself that your in irons within the hour.”

having to calm him down even though you were smirking the entire time

promising that when you were queen you were going to help those who needed it

he agreed, promising to stand behind you no matter what

he was more excited about your throne

you had spent months designing it along side durasts, and when it was finally ready he was more excited than you were

“darling, look at us!”

“those are our thrones nikolai, not us.”

“don’t be such a debby-downer, y/n! they’re beautiful.”

you raised your eyebrows, smiling at his reaction.

“but not as beautiful as you, my stunning fiancée!”

[alphadaddyderek]

Dude, just get out! (we both live here dumbass!) (sterek fic, smut, college au)

Stiles was initially excited to go to college. The freedom aspect of it in particular is what Stiles was the most excited about. Don’t get him wrong, he loves his dad, of course, he does. He didn’t mind living with him, he liked seeing him on a daily basis. He’s all Stiles has. Well, Stiles has Scott, but Scott is attending university in Arizona of all places. Meanwhile, Stiles is going to NYU, so, there’s not a lot of opportunities to see Scott or his father in person.

Not to fret though! Stiles was ready like Freddy to meet new people and, hopefully, make new friends along the way. That’s what college is all about. Supposedly, Stiles wouldn’t know but if all the movies are to be believed then that’s what college is all about.

He and his dad spent days driving up to NYU and then spent hours moving Stiles’ belongings into his off-campus apartment and unpacking. Stiles got a full-ride —thank god— so there’s extra money for him to be able to live in an actual, nice apartment instead of the dorms. His roommate was nowhere to be seen at the time, but that was fine with Stiles. He’d have plenty of opportunities to get to know him. Stiles’ dad left to stay in a hotel for the night because there was no way he was starting the trek back to Beacon Hills this late in the day. So, Stiles was left to his own devices in his new apartment.

Well, he was for about twenty minutes, then his roommate came back and...he’s kind of a dick.

He has a resting bitch face and he hardly likes to talk. Stiles doesn’t know if it’s because the guy doesn’t like him or if he’s just the quiet type. He’s starting to think that the guy doesn’t like him because every time Stiles starts talking he looks annoyed. The dick’s name is Derek and coincidentally, he also goes to NYU. He did tell Stiles his major, but wouldn’t tell Stiles what his favorite color was, which is just plain rude.

Anyway, Stiles isn’t going to let this Debbie downer ruin his college experience, no way!

Stiles decides the best thing to do is to just ignore him. Which is hard to do because the guy takes up so much space, like, he’s actually huge. And he always seems to be in the apartment when Stiles comes back from classes. Which is weird because, dude, don’t you have classes to go to? Nonetheless, he’s always there which means Stiles has to see him all the time and Derek can continue being an asswipe for no reason.

For example, Stiles sometimes forgets to wash the dishes —sue him!— and Derek will chew him out for it. Stiles didn’t know Derek was such a neat freak, but now that he knows he’ll leave more things laying around because Stiles can also be a dick when he wants to be. Maybe Derek should learn to be more personable, then Stiles wouldn’t have to go out of his character by doing such petty things. They’ve only been living together for about a week and a half and there’s already a turf battle going on. Stiles isn’t sure who’s going to win this battle, however, the sight of Derek tripping over one of Stiles’ shoes and the subsequent curse that flies out of his mouth makes Stiles not even care in the end.

--------------

After about a month, it's way more than just a battle. The turf battle has evolved into a war and now, no one is safe.

Derek continues being yucky and Stiles continues to do things to intentionally annoy him, except, now Derek is doing things to annoy Stiles. Like, eating all of Stiles’ Pop-Tarts or, and this is a cruel one, flushing the toilet while Stiles is in the shower. Unfortunately for Stiles, Derek buys gross ass healthy food for himself, and Stiles couldn’t choke down that food to save his life. So, what can one do to even the playing field?

Derek is sitting on the couch in the living room, watching some show about underwater caves. Stiles normally wouldn’t stick around because, despite what Derek might think, Stiles really doesn’t enjoy being talked down to by an abnormally grumpy man. This time though, Stiles sits down beside him. He can see Derek watching him from the corner of his eye, probably waiting to see what Stiles is going to do. Stiles likes to instill fear in Derek. Normally he acts like Stiles is nothing more than a bug he wants to squish under his overly expensive boot, but now? He’s worried. He should be. Stiles is going to pull out his ultimate weapon.

“So, whatcha watchin’?” Stiles asks, plastering a smile onto his face.

Derek gives him a suspicious look. “Why do you want to know?”

Stiles shrugs, smile still present. “I’m curious. This show seems interesting.”

Derek gives him an incredulous eyebrow raise, which is super insulting. Derek thinks all Stiles watches is Harry Potter, Star Wars, and superhero movies. Which is just wrong. But that’s okay. Stiles thinks all Derek watches are documentaries about how to be a functioning human in society, which, newsflash Derek, still needs working on.

A few minutes go by before Stiles decides to speak again. “So, you haven’t told me about your family.”

“That’s intentional.”

Stiles laughs. Derek thinks he can scare Stiles into leaving him alone. Unfortunately for Derek, Stiles has zero self-preservation skills.

“Come on Derek. We’re roommates. Don’t you want us to get along?”

Derek didn’t dignify that with a response —rude!— so Stiles speaks again.

“My dad is the sheriff of my hometown. Been that way for as long as I can remember. My best friend, his name is Scott, wants to be a vet. He goes to The University of Arizona. After that he’s not sure where he’ll go to get his DVM but he’s open to anything.”

Derek turns the volume up on the tv and Stiles bites his lip to stifle his laughter.

Ah, Derek. That won’t help.

“At first I was kinda skeptical about Scott becoming a vet. I mean, he’s a puppy himself, and I love him to death, but sometimes he’s ditzy. He’s a ditzy brunette. But after working at Deaton’s, Deaton is the town vet, for years he’s proved me wrong,” Stiles risks a glance at Derek and he’s scowling so hard Stiles is kind of afraid it’ll get stuck that way forever. “He and his girlfriend, Allison, are kind of having issues with long-distance but they’re high school sweethearts so I’m confident that they’ll work through it. They’re so cute together that it’s actually kinda nauseating. Like, sometimes their sappiness makes me sick to my stomach. I wonder when they’ll get ma-”

Derek abruptly stands up and walks out the room, slamming and locking his bedroom door, as if Stiles is the boogeyman who he’s trying to keep out.

Stiles snickers and grabs the remote to change the channel. Derek gets annoyed when Stiles talks, well, he shouldn’t have started this war then (it doesn’t matter that technically Stiles started it). Stiles has weaponized his ability to talk people’s ears off. So, Derek better watch out.

Hopefully, Derek won’t murder Stiles in his sleep.

--------------

Okay, so, Stiles thinks maybe this whole turf war thing is getting out of hand.

It’s been a total of 3 and a half months since they’ve been living together and Derek and Stiles are on edge around each other 24/7. Stiles has to shower around eleven o’clock at night so that Derek won’t burn him alive by flushing the toilet. Derek doesn’t have access to Stiles’ snacks anymore because Stiles hid them in the back of his closet. Derek stays in his room all day just so that Stiles won't have any opportunities to talk to him. They’re at an impasse, but Stiles has a feeling that the worst has yet to come.

A really bad feeling.

Stiles comes back from a particularly grueling day of classes to see Derek sitting on the couch...and he’s smirking.

That doesn’t bode well for Stiles.

“Hello, Stiles.”

“Uh, hey dude. Why do you look like a supervillain?”

“‘Cause I have a surprise for you.”

Yeah, that definitely didn’t sound good.

“Actually, I am a-okay. I really don’t need the surprise. I appreciate it though,” Stiles tries to make his way towards his room but Derek keeps talking.

“I normally don’t snoop through people’s things, it’s really not in my character, but after you left to go out last night, I heard some weird noises coming from your room. I was trying to ignore it at first, but after a while I went to see what it was. I was going to mention it this morning but you woke up before I did and by the time I had woken up you were already in class.”

Stiles had stopped in his tracks but he still hasn’t turned around to face Derek, because if Derek is going where Stiles thinks he’s going, Stiles is going to need to be able to book it into his bedroom as soon as possible.

Derek didn’t seem too perturbed by Stiles’ silence since he continues with his story. “Imagine my surprise when I found out that it was your laptop making that noise. Now, I wasn’t surprised by the fact that porn was playing, but what I was surprised at-”

Oh god.

“-was that the video you were watching was titled ‘bear fucks twink with huge cock’. And now I can’t help but question your hatred towards me.”

Stiles’ face is burning. He’s never been so embarrassed in his life, which is really a great feat because Stiles doesn’t get embarrassed by much. It’s not that Stiles didn’t notice Derek was hot, like, come on now, Derek is gorgeous. He’s not that much taller than Stiles but the size of his biceps? They’re easily the size of Stiles’ thigh. Derek is bigger than Stiles in every aspect.

Well, he’s not sure about every aspect. Stiles has never seen Derek’s dick outright, but he’s seen him wear sweatpants, and ooh boy, that bulge gives Stiles the impression that Derek is hung like a horse.

Stiles still hates Derek because Derek still has his asshole-ish ways. Case in point: right the fuck now. But, you can hate someone and still want to fuck them, right? Hate sex exists.

Derek is patiently waiting for Stiles to respond, and Stiles has never been good at staying silent, so it’s only a matter of time.

Stiles finally turns around to face Derek and clears his throat. “That- that means nothing. People watch shit like that all the time. Plus, you hardly qualify as a bear.”

It’s a weak excuse but, hey, Stiles is grasping at straws here.

Derek tilts his head to the side in agreement. “True, but if that was the case, why do you seem so nervous?”

Stiles can’t think of a reasonable response in time and Derek knows it.

Derek smirks again and Stiles really wants to knee him in the dick.

“Do you wanna fuck me?”

Stiles narrows his eyes at Derek. What the fuck is his endgame here? Why is he being such a dick?

Oh yeah, because Derek is a fucking asshole.

“Fine,” Stiles says through gritted teeth. “I find you attractive. I watch porn about big, hairy men fucking twinks because I want you to fuck me. Are you happy now? Jackass.”

Stiles storms into his room and slams the door. That’s a perfect example of why people can’t be pretty and nice. It’s genetically impossible.

Stiles lets out a sigh and dumps his backpack on his bed before stripping out of his clothes and getting into the shower. He stands under the spray for ten minutes, just praying to the cosmic gods out there that a black hole will appear and suck the whole human race into nothingness. After waiting for a few more minutes, and his prayers going unanswered, he washes himself then gets out to dry off. He wraps the towel around his waist and opens the door to find Derek standing outside his bathroom door. He shrieks (a very manly shriek by the way) and covers his chest with his arms, not that that’ll hide much.

“Derek, what the fuck are you doing?”

Derek’s eyes do the slowest sweep in fucking existence down Stiles’ body and Stiles feels his cheeks flush. Ugh, why are the cutest guys always assholes?

“I came to apologize. I was being a dick-”

“What else is new?” Stiles interrupts. Stiles is rewarded with another smirk.

“-and I took it too far. I’m sorry I embarrassed you.”

Stiles looks at Derek for a second. They’ve never apologized to each other when they did shit, and even though Stiles didn’t take it as far as Derek did, Stiles can’t stand here and act like he wasn’t also an asshole.

Stiles sighs. “I’m sorry too. I was also kind of a dick. Not as much as you, but still.”

Derek laughs a little, and Jesus H. Christ, how is a laugh sexy? “Apology accepted.”

Stiles holds his hand out for a handshake. Derek puts his hand in Stiles’ and they shake on their newfound not-friendship-but-also-maybe-not-complete-dicks-to-each-other-ship.

“So,” Derek starts after they drop their hands. “wanna have sex?”

Stiles might’ve actually choked on his own fucking spit, because what?

“What?”

“I asked if you wanted to have sex.”

“Where is this even coming from? You hate my guts. Every time I talk you look like you’re going in for a root canal.”

Stiles is so confused, he’s also getting hornier by the minute, but right now, the confusion is outweighing the horniness.

“I don’t hate you. Yeah you talk a lot, and it was so annoying at first, sometimes it still is, but I got used to your incessant chatter.”

Stiles knows he looks dumb, his mouth is gaping and everything. “I think maybe there was something in the water because I must be high. We’ve lived together for over 3 months and you’re telling me that you actually want to have sex with me?”

Derek shrugs. “Yeah. Just because you can be kinda annoying that doesn’t mean you’re not cute. Plus, people have sex all the time, that doesn’t mean we have to, like, date or whatever.”

Stiles rolls his eyes. Derek’s so romantic, how has Stiles been able to resist jumping his bones for this long?

“You just embarrassed the hell out of me, why would I ever want to have sex with you?” Never mind the fact that Stiles definitely does want to have sex with him.

“Maybe you don’t. If not, then fine. We can just go back to how things were. If you do, then we’ll have a great time.”

Stiles is still struggling to wrap his mind around all of this. Derek wants to have sex with him? In what universe does that make sense?

Apparently in this one.

Stiles does this sort of shrug that basically portrays well, what the fuck? Okay then. “Okay. I guess this is happening then.”

Derek smirks for like the fiftieth time in thirty seconds and if Stiles was a stronger man he definitely would’ve kneed Derek in the dick, but clearly, Stiles is weak.

Very, very weak.

“My room or yours?” Derek asks.

“Mine. Since it’s right there,” Stiles points behind Derek and, lo and behold, there’s Stiles’ bed.

Grabbing Stiles’ hand in a surprisingly gentle gesture, Derek walks the three feet from the bathroom to the bed to lay Stiles down.

Derek gets on top of the bed and is sitting on his knees by Stiles’ feet. He pulls his shirt off like he’s in Magic Mike or something before throwing it onto the floor without a care in the world. Jesus, it’s like his muscles have muscles. Stiles starts feeling a little insecure about his body. He’s got muscles, but, he’s not, like, ripped like Derek is. Stiles likes to think he has somewhat of a swimmer’s body.

Looming over him like a fucking creeper, Derek stares down at Stiles. “You know, you’re very pretty.”

Stiles refuses to admit that he blushes at that because he’s not pretty. If anything he’s handsome, some may even say gorgeous.

“Can you just get on with it?” Stiles throwing a scowl in Derek’s direction.

“Bossy. I kinda like that,” he strips his sweatpants off and throws them down too. Now he’s only in a pair of gray boxer briefs and, god, Stiles wants to suck his dick so badly. Which is weird because he’s really not all that experienced with blowjobs, he’s given maybe two blowjobs in his life. Whatever, Derek has a great dick okay?

Derek tugs at the towel around Stiles’ waist. “Is this okay?”

Stiles nods and then the towel is gone, and Stiles is laid bare for Derek to gaze at his leisure. And boy does Derek gaze. He does another slow sweep down Stiles’ body, except this time it’s even more intense because now Stiles is naked.

“You’re not a virgin right?” Derek asks while rummaging through Stiles’ bedside drawer and pulling out the lube. First of all, it’s rude to go through people’s stuff! Second of all, how the hell did Derek know his lube was there? Although, where else would lube be?

“Nope. There will be no deflowering of the Stiles today. Sorry to disappoint.”

Derek shrugs before popping open the lube. “I’m not one of those weirdos who pops a boner at the thought of popping someone’s cherry.”

Stiles chuckles, like actually chuckles. Who knew Derek was even capable of being funny?

Stiles pulls his legs up and hooks his hands behind his knees. The position exposes Stiles’ hole to the extreme and it makes Stiles blush. Just because he’s not a virgin doesn’t mean that he doesn’t get nervous or embarrassed during sex.

Derek knee-walks closer to Stiles and squirts some lube onto his fingers. He puts one hand on Stiles’ right thigh while the other one gently and slowly breaches his entrance. Fuck, his fingers are thick. Thicker than Stiles’ that’s for sure. Stiles definitely isn’t shy about fingering. He fingers himself all the time, but it’s been a while since someone else’s fingers were up there. Stiles is nervous and excited about it all.

Derek doesn’t spend too much time with the one finger, quickly adding a second one and that’s when it starts feeling good. Derek’s fingers are about an inch away from his prostate and Stiles is about to curse him out until Derek presses both fingers against his prostate and Stiles has to bite his lip to stop the loud ass moan that almost escaped his mouth. Judging by the look on Derek’s face, he knows he touched Stiles’ prostate, and being the asshole that he is, he has a cocky smile on his face.

After scissoring those two fingers inside Stiles for a few minutes, Derek adds a third finger. The stretch is definitely there, but hey, Stiles likes a little pain with sex. He can be kinky sometimes.

“Okay. I’m ready, come on,” Stiles says. He was starting to get impatient. He just wants to get dicked down already, damn.

Derek gently removes his fingers and gets off the bed to pick up his sweatpants. He reaches into the pocket and retrieves a condom out. Stiles’ mouth drops.

“So you just knew I’d have sex with you?”

“I didn’t know. I just hoped.”

That smarmy little bastard.

Derek gets back in bed and, finally, removes his briefs and...

Holy mother of god.

Well, maybe not the mother of god. That’s blasphemous as fuck. But! The sentiment is the same because wow. Stiles is glad he didn’t knee him in the dick because that dick is too gorgeous to cause serious injury to. He’s not like porn star big, but it is big and long too. And it’s uncut, which Stiles has a weird sort of kink about. He loves uncut cocks. Yeah, that’s a good-looking cock right there.

Derek unwraps the condom and rolls it onto his cock. He then grabs the bottle of lube that he placed on the bed and squirts more out before slathering a generous amount onto said cock. He makes Stiles move his hands before replacing them with one of his own, the other is at the base of his cock, lining it up to Stiles’ hole.

“You ready baby?” Derek asks.

“Call me baby again and I’ll dropkick you in the throa- oh fuck.”

Of course, Derek chose when Stiles was mid-threat to start pushing his cock inside. Geez, that is seriously a big cock, even the fingering didn’t make it burn any less. Derek gently pushes his cock in deeper before pulling it out, then he pushes it in a little deeper than he did at first before pulling it back out again. He repeats that until his cock is seated all the way inside, his balls to Stiles’ ass. Then he stops and waits. There’s sweat gathering above Derek’s eyebrow and some is even rolling down his temple. Needless to say, Derek isn’t as unaffected as he’s trying to be. Which makes Stiles feel kind of great actually.

“Okay, you can move now,” Stiles informs Derek. And when Stiles says Derek goes to town, he really means that.

Derek puts his other hand behind Stiles’ left knee and pulls out all the way, not even the tip is inside, before thrusting back in. Hard.

Stiles’ breath gets forced out of him at the movement. This truly is hate sex, kinda. Derek said he didn’t hate Stiles, but he certainly doesn’t like him all that much. At least, not yet. Who knows what will stem from this. That’s something to think about when Derek isn’t pounding him into the mattress.

Derek delivers a thrust that nails Stiles’ prostate dead on and Stiles makes this super embarrassing sound, like a high-pitched keen. He knows he’s not going to live that down after this.

After that, Derek is consistent with the hard abuse on Stiles’ prostate, and Stiles is getting close to orgasm embarrassingly fast. He isn’t too sure he’ll be able to last much longer. Although, Derek doesn’t seem like he’s going to be able to either. If the grunts and groans he’s letting out are anything to go by.

“Unh, fuck. Derek-!”

“Yeah, you’re gonna come?”

Stiles frantically nods his head and grabs his own cock to start stroking himself. Derek thrusts harder if that’s even possible, and within a few seconds, Stiles is coming all over his stomach.

“Fuck, Stiles,” Derek groans and thrusts one, two, three more times before stopping with a deep, guttural moan. He almost sounds like an actual bear and Stiles can’t help the giggle that escapes him.

Derek gives him a weird look but his lip quirks up in a maybe sort of smile. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh nothing,” Stiles gives him a shit-eating grin.

And since it’s already been established that Derek is an asshole, he grinds and his cock brushes against Stiles’ oversensitive prostate causing Stiles’ whole body to convulse. He slaps Derek’s arm.

Derek pulls out and lets go of Stiles’ legs. They’re sore from being in the same position for so long but Stiles can’t even care. He’s sated and all he wants to do now is take a nap. Stiles stretches his whole body like a cat while Derek disposes of the condom.

“Okay, that was fun. If you want to annoy me, I’ll be in my room.” And with that, Derek walks out of Stiles’ room to go to his own.

Derek was definitely a dick, but Stiles could deal with him. Especially if they continue to fuck like that.

Holy (not) mother of god indeed.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 26)

Gosh, I'm just so excited for this part.

After months of separation, Natsume has finally found Mikan, thanks to Shiki being a hopeless romantic and not knowing how normal people act.

Speaking of not acting like normal people, these twelve year olds will devote themselves to each other on Christmas, promising eternity and really meaning it.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Four

Shiki lets Natsume find Mikan, who wanted to see him as well, and is standing on the balcony to find him.

The first thing Natsume does is call out for her, maybe because it doesn’t seem real. After so many months of searching and coming up empty, he’s finally found her, probably in a place he’s checked thousands of times. When she calls back down to him, he knows for sure that it’s real. He climbs up to the balcony and in no time he’s reached her. They’re both excited to see and feel each other for the first time in so long. They’re able to hold hands, but they can only reach so far. Shiki can’t allow Natsume to actually break her out of her labyrinth.

The existence of the barrier is kind of a downer for Natsume, who had been looking forward to finding her and saving her all at once. She starts asking lots of questions, but he’s preoccupied, thinking about the thickness of the barrier and how much room he actually has to work with.

Mikan doesn’t stop talking, so he puts his hand on her mouth to shush her. If she’s too loud, they might get caught and then their clandestine reunion would be over and he might not see her again for who knows how long. And then a watchman passes down below, so Natsume is temporarily distracted, intent on not being found out.

When he looks back at her, her eyes are welled up with tears and she’s holding the hand he placed over her mouth with both of hers. He’s surprised, because he never fully processed that she confessed her love to him too. That could’ve been a dream or a fantasy or a projection or wishful thinking or maybe it didn’t mean the same thing to her as it does to him. But she’s so happy to see him that she’s in tears, holding his hand like it’s precious and she doesn’t want him to disappear again.

It’s a confirmation again that his feelings really are requited, that she’s been wanting to see him too. For so long, he’d thought of himself as the last person she’d ever fall in love with. He’d been Team Ruka, because he’d taken himself out of the running. He just wants her to be happy and it really had never occurred to him in all that time that he could be the one to make her happy.

So he comes to close the distance too, leaning his head against hers. They haven’t seen each other in so long, and no doubt there’s a lot left unsaid, but just a moment of quiet affection, to show each other how much they’ve missed the other, is necessary. She says she’s missed him, and it would be redundant for him to say it back. He’s been searching for her tirelessly night and day for months. To say he missed her would be an understatement.

Now that she has his attention, she can ask her earlier question properly: how did he find her, anyway? He answers that she was calling him. The power of her missing him caused this to happen. There’s no other explanation. He’s only half teasing. He’d never imagined she would care for him romantically, so he wants to milk the situation for all it’s worth. It makes him happy to imagine that she can say over and over and in many different ways how much she misses and loves him.

When Mikan protests, he pouts, because he really thought her calling out to him and the power of their feelings for each other had brought them together. When she concedes that there might be some truth to his theory, he smiles. This is a real smile. He’d never imagined this kind of situation, and it’s all somewhat surreal and dreamlike, and it makes him happy that after all this time he actually can get almost everything he wants. The only thing that could make this better is if he could actually break her out of her prison.

He expresses dismay that he’s helpless to get her out of there. She assures him that it’s enough just seeing him, and then panics because she didn’t prepare a present for him even though he got her a storybook. So she asks if there’s anything he wants for a present that she can give right then and there and Natsume asks for a kiss.

Natsume has up to this point always stolen little moments from Mikan, thinking she’d never value them the way he does. Their last kiss, snuggling on New Year’s, his half hug to her in the RPG… It was all affection he had to steal. But if Mikan really does love him, then maybe he doesn’t need to steal anything anymore. He can ask for her to give it of her own volition, and she would do it because maybe she wants to kiss him too. He’s way more honest than he’s ever been, because he doesn’t have anything holding him back anymore. Not only is he no longer the school’s pawn, but he also doesn’t have to hold back with her either, because his feelings are requited. He can be honest about almost everything.

He's just being honest for once, Mikan.

What he wants is a kiss, and since she asked, he’ll tell her.

He pretends to fall a little, in the midst of her freaking out. He makes up a bogus story that he’s not secure on the ledge and will fall soon, so if she’s gonna do it she has to do it quickly. This is another instance of Natsume being selfish. This is one of the few things he wants for himself that has nothing to do with protecting other people. He must think she wants to kiss him too, even if she won’t admit it, because he probably wouldn’t ask if he thought she hated the idea.

He must be onto something, because Mikan does lean in to slowly kiss him, even though her face is red and she’s deeply embarrassed. They kiss for a while, not knowing that Shiki can see them. When they finally part, he asks her to do it again. She protests that it would make her heart explode to do it again, so he surrenders.

Fine. They don’t have to kiss again. But then she should tell him that she loves him. Properly. From her own mouth.

Jeez, he's so needy tonight.

Natsume has confessed two times to her of his own accord and one time on accident when she felt his feelings through telepathy. The only time she did the same was also through telepathy. She should be fully aware of his feelings for her, but he needs to hear it properly. The one time she’d confessed, they were about to be separated forever and it was a heart-wrenching moment for them both. On top of that, he’d never imagined such a thing and needs further confirmation that she really meant it.

When Mikan protests again that she already gave him what he wanted and that he hadn’t really said it properly either, he promises to say it after she does.

Natsume needs confirmation before he can say it right. Almost the entire time that he’s been in love with her, he’s been perpetually giving up. She should give her stone to Ruka, dance with Ruka, be with Ruka, because she obviously prefers him anyway. Natsume’s been particularly selfless about this, and it was easy because he thought she would never love him back. He wasn’t about to genuinely pursue her or obviously pine after her (though it ended up being kind of obvious anyway) because he could never win her over anyway. All the other reasons not to be with her--putting her in danger, not being able to offer her a future--are harder to focus on when she’s actually saying she does love him too. But they still matter, and he won’t confess and give in and finally put all his chips in for the idea of being a couple until she says it properly. Until he knows for sure she feels the same, it’s not worth it to risk everything else.

And she does say it.

Out loud. Properly. With her own mouth.

Natsume's smile can cure illnesses... Just... Not his own, of course.

So Natsume smiles another real genuine smile. Those were words he’d never imagined he’d actually hear from her. Despite all his efforts to distance himself, to make himself into the bad guy to protect her, to be cold and cruel, she still ended up seeing past all of it and loving him anyway.

He’s so excited and happy that he leans in again and wastes no time before confessing right back. This is a promise he can keep: he loves her too.

From now until forever, more than anyone else.

He’s twelve years old but he means it.

The adults at the academy didn’t take his feelings seriously enough. They thought that threats and violence were more powerful than his foolish puppy love. But nothing really is. He gave everything up for her, and will give up even more. He can’t promise forever but he will love her for that long anyway. For the rest of his life and for every second after his death.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Five

They’re kissing again. When they break apart, they’re both happy.

This whole rendezvous seems dream-like and surreal. She has her hair down and they’re both wearing outfits they don’t usually wear. It’s snowing and they’re both standing on the balcony. It would be easy to claim that it all is just a dream, like it’s happening only in the depths of Natsume’s most self-indulgent fantasies. It shouldn’t be possible, is only happening because of Shiki’s whims. It stands out to the reader too, because of all of these elements, and doesn’t blend into the reality of every other chapter or arc. That’s actually effective in making it dream-like for us too. Is this all really happening? Is this just a strong wish that took shape? Is it a dream?

I really don't have anything to say except that this is a really vulnerable question and it's amazing that Natsume has the courage to ask it now.

In any case, Natsume swears he will save Mikan from the tower she’s trapped in, like the prince he’s supposed to be. “Can you wait for me?” he asks, and it’s the reverse of all of Mikan’s earlier questions. “You’re not going anywhere, are you?” she had asked, because she wanted him around. And then later, when it seemed she’d disappear forever with Yuka, there was the unspoken question if he could wait it out, survive long enough to see her again. Now he’s asking her if she can wait for him too, if she can have faith that he won’t abandon her.

This is again almost literally a dream come true. Mikan is saying she loves him back. His feelings are requited. What he wants is to hold onto this with all his might. He will save her and they will be together. She just has to wait long enough for him to get her out. He wants her feelings to last that long, even if he’s not around.

And she smiles and agrees, promising that she will wait as long as it takes, until they can be together properly forever. But she has a caveat: she doesn’t want him to push himself to get her out. She wants him to live, but if he does “whatever it takes” he might die. In fact, there’s a certainty in his demise, and every coming chapter makes that more and more clear. They’re still star-crossed, more than ever actually. They’re not just paralleling Rapunzel here: they are also Romeo and Juliet, confessing their love on a balcony under the light of the moon and promising a forever that is not to be.

He hugs her, but there’s something about his expression and lack of proper response that is off-putting. He doesn’t promise not to push himself. He can’t. He’s made lots of promises that he will break, but he made them because he wanted them to be true. He cannot make this one. Mikan’s safety is more important to him than even their joined happiness. He will do anything for her, and he won’t promise that he won’t.

Just don't die. Why is that so hard for you, Natsume?

Changing the subject, there is now a flicker from under Mikan’s coat, coming from what she reveals to be yet another alice stone on her necklace. She reveals that she made it. He’s impressed with the size, because the one she gave him less than a year ago was a mere pebble.

Natsume is disappointed to only be one of the many inspirations for Mikan’s stone, and it might be more evidence to him that she may love him but he loves her more. He doesn’t voice this insecurity, but we can see it, and it might be even more a reason why he can’t promise not to push himself. She could probably get over him. She could survive without him. He can’t live without her. Thus, his existence can be traded in for her freedom, her happiness, her safety, and it would scar but heal. He loves her more, he thinks. She’s more important. He can and will die for her.

She calls the stone her heart, a result of all the love and care she has for everyone in her life, and entrusts said heart with Natsume. She wants him to have it, a more fitting version of the stone she gave him before. She then rejoices that the alice stone exchange is complete, so they’ll be happy together forever.

Natsume looks shocked again, and I’ll repeat myself by saying that he’s still not used to the idea that she feels so romantically about him as well. She is in love with him and wants to be with him forever, so much so that she wants to do over the alice stone exchange properly with a stone she’s proud of.

He calls her out for proposing to him, which embarrasses her but she admits she did have that intention. But he tells her that he applied the romantic intent first when he gave her his alice stone. Here he’s confessing that his romantic feelings are nothing new. He’s loved her since then, at least, and she’s been a dream of his all along.

If she’s handing over her stone--her heart--to him, then she’s fully reciprocating. She’s not just into him. If she wants her future to be entwined with his, for them to get married and live together forever, than this is no passing fancy for her. Thus, she is now his. He asserts that because he has to hear it. She only wants to be with him, right? Then she is his girl, nobody else’s. He doesn’t tell her that he’s hers because he considers it redundant. He’s hers. He’s been hers since she tackled him in that warehouse so long ago. He will be hers forever. This is the first time he’s considered that she would be his too.

I thought I should pay attention to the word "hate", but I should've focused on "remember". Yikes!

He presses the stone to his lips, ultimately showing her how precious her heart is to him, and tells her that he won’t ever give the stone back, even if she comes to hate him. There’s a lot to unpack in just this one declaration, but let’s get into it.

When I first read this, I thought it was foreshadowing of another kind. I was distraught, actually, because I thought maybe Mikan would come to hate him! That’s silly though. Mikan cannot hate Natsume. Not ever again. It’s not possible. Mikan saw the very worst of Natsume and still fell in love with him. That is true, unconditional love. She sees the beauty in him, sees a future with him, even when he wanted to only show her the darkness. But Natsume doesn’t get that her love is unconditional. He says, “even if you come to hate me”, like it’s even a possibility, but says “I will never give this stone back,” because hating her is not a possibility. Yet again, he’s underestimating her love for him. He loves her more.

In his mind, it’s possible that she could stop loving him. She could turn that affection into disdain. She could completely hate him. But he won’t. Not ever. Even if she hated him, he would love her. Even if she wanted her stone back, he wouldn’t give it to her. Even if she gets over him, he will never give up on her. He will be with her and hold onto that stone forever.

But perhaps he’s saying, “even if you come to hate me” like it is an impossibility. Maybe he realizes that she will never despise him again. Maybe he gets that. In that case, then he’s promising that nothing in the realm of plausible or implausible will cause him to let go of her heart. Because it’s not just a stone! She’s told him herself that it’s her heart, so this isn’t just a declaration of endless loyalty, love, and fidelity, it’s also a promise that he will protect her heart, because it is precious to him.

They're twelve years old. I'd giggle if I didn't take them so seriously. I have no right to laugh... This is part 26 of a very long essay about them. I suck.

Whatever he means exactly, Mikan is touched. She starts stammering, trying to say something but obviously too embarrassed to say it properly. When she finally finds the words, asking if this is all a proposal, he answers. Yes.

The moon is their witness.

Nobody else is there to see this (as they have no idea that Shiki is the one who arranged this and has been observing them all along), and after this ends there will be little evidence that this moment between them passed at all. It’s all so surreal, so unrealistic. But the moon bore witness, and they can rely on that for the rest of their lives.

Because, especially for Natsume, this night is something out of a fantasy, and he’ll need all the evidence he can get to hold onto it as reality.

But the moment doesn’t last forever, because Shiki has to end it at some point. The barrier is reinstated and Natsume falls.

He calls out to her but it’s to no avail. She can’t do anything to hold onto him, and he can’t hold on to her. The only way to make this happen again is to save her.

Shiki and the MSP discuss what he just did, and how Natsume and Mikan probably won’t ever meet again. And for all that fate is concerned, it’s true. They’re not meant to be.

I kinda want to cry now.

Natsume lies in the snow afterward, looking at the moon and gripping Mikan’s heart, holding onto the only proof he has that the moment truly occurred. Otherwise, he could easily be convinced it was just another daydream. It came and went so quickly, he needs the evidence, the witness. Natsume is newly engaged to be married, though when exactly that marriage was supposed to happen is anyone’s guess.

It’s not the world’s shortest engagement for sure, but it sadly won’t last.

They are fated for sure, to meet and fall in love. But he’s fated to die and their love was doomed from the start.

He won’t make it another week.

Conclusion

They're engaged now, their feelings intense. My feelings on their fate has evolved over the past couple parts. I now fully believe that they are soulmates, fated to love each other. I also believe that they were supposed to end in tragedy, that fate didn't want them to last. I'll probably talk way more about that in Mikan's part, but it's made me an even bigger fan of NatsuMikan, if that was even possible.

I have written the entire Natsume POV essay. It's all done. The end is a bit lacking, but that's not my fault. Still, I'm excited to wrap this up. I'll post updates four days a week as usual. I reckon there'll be less than two weeks worth of essay left before I've finished posting. I've talked about this a bit before, but I'm going to take a pretty lengthy break between this essay and Mikan's, because it was a huge project and it really exhausted me. I loved doing it, don't get me wrong, but I do need a break before I can do Mikan's, especially because I think hers will be much longer (I might be wrong about that, but it's the feeling I get). I probably won't touch Mikan's essays 'til January or February. In the meantime, I'll be working on fics again, so if you're interested in that, you're in luck!

Thank you for reading, folks. I hope you have a great day!

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[max-is-tired]

What the hell would I be (without you)

Pairing: Dukexiety

Characters: Remus Sanders, Virgil Sanders

Words: 2.078

Warnings: sympathetic Remus, swearing, self-deprecation, spiraling thoughts, anxiety, crying, kissing, tell me if I missed something!!

Notes: man I love soulmates AUs so much. This fic is inspired by this headcanon from @figurative-siren-song, I just loved the entire concept so much I simply couldn’t not try my hand at it. I hope you guys like it, comments and reblogs are always greatly appreciated!!

Commission me!!  Buy me a coffee!!  Join my Discord server!!  AO3!!

Virgil stared at the clock on his wall, nervously bouncing his leg on the carpet as he raised one hand to his face. Before he could start biting his nails, however, another hand appeared out of nowhere, giving it a quick slap to keep it away from his mouth.

“No biting,” chided a voice from above Virgil, Remus grinning down at him from his position lying upside-down on the bunk bed. Virgil grumbled but complied, opting to wring his fingers instead.

“You’re an ass,” he muttered under his breath, throwing his best friend a half-hearted grave.

“Well excuse me for trying to look out for you,” Remus shot back, his tone amused. “If you bite your nails you might hurt yourself, and there might be blood and then the whole thing might get infected and they’d have to chop your entire hand off and-!”

Without missing a beat, Virgil reached for one of his pillows and slapped it onto Remus’ face, effectively shutting him up.

“Alright, message received you fucking gremlin,” he said, a smirk of his own tugging at his lips. “Remind me why I have yet to smother you?”

“Because it’s gonna be your birthday in a few hours and you needed your big, strong best friend to hold your hand lest your anxiety reduces you to a hot mess for the umpteenth time,” Remus easily recited, winking down at Virgil. “Not that you need it, you’re already a hot mess by yourself.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, letting out an amused huff as he stood up and stretched his arms upwards with a tired groan -the curse of being born at fucking 2 am, he supposed. Currently, it was only 1:45 am, and for the first time in what felt like forever, all he wanted was to curl up under the covers and go the fuck to sleep.

There was no way he could ruin his soulmate’s birthday if he was asleep, right?

“Oi, Earth to Virgil!” Remus called, startling the boy out of his thoughts. “Did you decide to go for a mental walk without me? That’s just rude, Vee! Come on, what’s running around in that worrying head of yours?”

Virgil shrugged, plopping down on his spinning chair as he looked up at the ceiling.

“Do you think my soulmate will like me?” Virgil finally asked, frowning. “I mean, I know I sure as hell wouldn’t like myself. I’m an anxious, self-deprecating mess, Rem, why the fuck would anyone want to be stuck with me? I’m just going to ruin their birthday, and I don’t want to but I can’t help it, they’re gonna hate me and I can’t blame them for that and then I’ll end up all alone and soulless-”

“Hey, stop with that crap right the fuck now,” Remus suddenly exclaimed, snapping Virgil out of his self-deprecating spiral. The boy pulled his gaze away from the ceiling, only to meet a pair of determined, blazing green eyes.

“That’s my fucking best friend you’re insulting, and I won’t stand for it. You’re an amazing person Vee, you’re loyal and determined and got snark for days. And that’s not even talking about that beautiful ass of yours!! Whoever ends up being your soulmate is going to be one lucky motherfucker, and this is the hill I’m willing to die on.”

Virgil blinked, looking like a deer caught in the headlights as he stared at his best friend with wide eyes. Slowly, he felt the familiar tingle of a blush covering his cheeks, whipping his head to the side to avoid the instinct of doing something stupid like try and kiss Remus or something.

“Shut up,” Virgil muttered, looking down at his hands in hopes that his long bangs would hide just how flustered he was.

“Never,” Remus easily shot back, voice soft and earnest in a way Virgil knew was reserved just for him.

Fuck, and people wondered why he had done something so idiotic as falling for his best friend -he was just… perfect. He was honest, loud and everything Virgil would have wanted and more. He just got him, always had, and before he’d known it Virgil had found himself head over heels, falling and falling with no chance of getting up again.

Not that he would have wanted to, of course. Sometimes, during those endless nights when sleeping felt like the most impossible thing in the world, Virgil found himself wondering if maybe, he and Remus were meant to be. After all, Remus still had to go through the swap, even after having recently turned 20. It wasn’t so far fetched for that to be a possibility, was it...?

Except that it was. After all, why would the universe pair someone as amazing as Remus with, well, Virgil, who seemed to grow needlessly anxious about the smallest and most mundane of things?

And there he went again, his thoughts spiraling more and more as the seconds passed. Of course Remus couldn’t be his soulmate. Whoever the lucky soul was, they were probably someone as incredible as him, full of life and energy and desire of adventure. Not an introvert, anxious downer like him.

1:58 am

Like, who was he even kidding? Virgil probably had no soulmate. His birthday was going to come and go and no swap would happen, not today nor never.

1:59 am

After all, why would the universe doom some poor soul to be stuck with him forever? He should just start getting used to the idea of being alone forever, instead of letting that stupid hope still fester in his chest.

It was just so stupid. Worthless, really.

2:00 am

Except that it wasn’t, not at all.

All of a sudden, Virgil felt a surge of self-confidence overtake him. He stood straighter on his chair, a grin tugging at his lips as his head filled with a thousand ideas. He wanted to bolt out of the room, jump out of his window, run into the woods behind his house and get himself lost in the wilderness, maybe even catch some squirrels.

Who cared if it was the middle of the night and there could be an assassin lurking in the shadows? He could take them, Remus had shown him how to throw knives when they were like, twelve.

Talking about his best friend! Virgil snapped his head up, eyes twinkling wildly under the fairy lights in his room, only to feel his excited expression morph into a frown once he took in the other’s expression.

Remus was hunched over just a few feet away from him, his shoulders shaking slightly as he rested his head between his knees.

“Rem?” Virgil tentatively called, standing up and shuffling forward. He crouched down in front of the other, brow pinched in confusion as he tried to understand what was going down.

Slowly, Remus looked up, his eyes red and wet as he tried to get his shallow breathing back under control. He was clutching at his chest, his fist tight around the fabric of his shirt. All in all, he looked right on the edge of an anxiety attack.

But why? He had been fine just a minute ago! There was no way he could have been faking the determined fire in his eyes as he defended Virgil from his own thoughts, and besides, Remus didn’t get anxious. Like, ever. Virgil should know, they’d been basically inseparable since kindergarten.

Then, Remus spoke.

“Do you really hate yourself this much?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper as some stray tears escaped from his eyes.

And finally, it clicked.

“I-” Virgil stared at Remus with wide eyes, trying to process the sudden life-changing information that had come to light. Normally, something like this would have sent him into some sort of attack, his anxiety, fears, and deepest insecurities filling his head until he could barely keep his head above the water.

Instead, all he felt was quiet, unmistakable happiness blooming in his chest, spreading further and further until he could barely keep himself from dancing around the room to try and get rid of some of the overwhelming giddiness.

“You’re my soulmate,” he breathed, a grin slowly stretching on his face. It was wide, bright, unhinged, the type of smile he would have never dared to let appear on his face before -but now, he couldn’t care less if his teeth were slightly crooked, or if a random stranger was annoyed by his smile.

Fuck them, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Remus was his soulmate, and that meant-

Oh. Oh no.

“Shit, Remus, I’m sorry,” he murmured, raising his hands to cradle the other’s cheeks. Gently, he wiped away the occasional tear still escaping his eyes, leaning forward to rest his brow against Remus’. “I’m sorry you have to feel all of that.”

“How do you deal with this every fucking day?” Remus whispered, looking at him as his breath slowly started to calm down. “I mean, I knew it was bad, but shit Vee, I didn’t think it was this bad.”

Virgil hummed, his smile turning a tad softer. “It sucks, doesn’t it?”

Remus silently nodded, carefully releasing his shirt to rest his palm above Virgil’s chest. His breath started to synchronize with his heartbeat, and after a few minutes, he finally looked like he wasn’t three seconds away from breaking down in the middle of Virgil’s room.

“God, this is exhausting,” Remus muttered, drawing a chuckle out of his soulmate as he slid his head down to rest his brow on the other’s shoulder.

“Holy shit, how do you deal with this shit basically every other day? It’s not even been five minutes and all I want is to curl up under the covers and sleep for like, a century or so. Maybe more.”

Silence fell around them, calm and comfortable as they held each other. Then, Remus looked up, a pensive frown on his face as he visibly mulled something in his head.

“Can I-” he started, sounding strangely insecure as he avoided Virgil’s gaze. “I mean, can we- uh- god, this is impossible!”

Virgil couldn’t help the amused snort that left his lips as he watched Remus frustratingly throw his hands up, his cheeks crimson red in embarrassment.

“What, Rem?” he asked with a lopsided smirk, feeling strangely coy, “do you want me to kiss you?”

“Yes!” Remus nodded vigorously, looking more flustered by the second. “I’ve wanted to smooch your pretty face since fucking high school, do you know how hard it has been to hold off?? So you better kiss me right now before the embarrassment decides to off me for real by sending my heart on a one-way trip around the world with how fast it’s beating right now!”

Virgil cackled as he listened to Remus’ rant, feeling the muscles of his face hurt with how wide he was smiling.

“Well, it looks like the swap didn’t take away your lack of filter, at least!” he exclaimed, before grabbing Remus by the lapels of his jacket and dragging him into a kiss.

They melted into each other, the world around them fading away until there was nothing but the soft press of their lips and their careful, roaming hands. And just like that, they felt something inside them fit into place, like a puzzle piece they’d never noticed was missing.

Virgil felt the extra confidence and energy slowly slip away, leaving behind exhausted happiness as the familiar background tingle of his anxiety started coming back. As for Remus, Virgil didn’t miss the way his soulmate -holy shit, Remus was actually his soulmate, what the fuck???- immediately straightened up, pushing forward a little until Virgil was bending backward and a massive grin had taken over both of their lips.

“Fuck, I love you,” Remus murmured almost reverently as he pulled back enough to look at the boy in his arms. “I hoped, once the switch didn’t happen on my birthday, I never stopped hoping and I just- I love you so much, you have no idea. You’re the only soulmate I’ve ever wanted to have.”

“I love you too,” Virgil answered, the giddiness in his chest ever-present, burning and shining like a million suns, “but I think you’re talking a little too much right now.”

And he leaned forward again, dragging Remus in another kiss. And another. And another.

Needless to say, they didn’t find themselves in need to talk for a little while more.

[ramp-it-up]

Fresh Squeeze, Ch. 5

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x OFC Linden Marshall

Set in 2023, post-pandemic

Warnings: Cursing, Angsty Angst, drug and alcohol use, surprise flights, Anthony Ramos. Lots of Plot.

Word Count: 3.5 K

Plot: Linden Marshall just finished law school at Columbia University in NYC. Daveed Diggs is still creating magic with his platonic life partner Rafael Casal in the form of their Blindspotting musical, Bay Boys. Linden’s boyfriend WAS Mark Monaco, star of the superhero movie series Invincible.  They were together for years, and her trauma and his addictions were toxic. She knows now that wasn’t love. 

A/N: Keep in mind that this the same AU as Arrivals, with Holly Woods, but is BEFORE Rafa and Holly get together. And don’t come for me about Anthony.

Read the Previous Chapter.

===================

NYC, May 2023

Jasmine was blowing up your phone as you were trying to get dressed.  You had to search for it under the pile of clothes on your bed.

You had procrastinated getting ready, trying to finish one of your applications for a summer internship at this law firm in Harlem that you were excited about.  

You wanted to finally relax after finishing Columbia law in the top 10% of your class. You just wanted to relax and enjoy this weekend.

Craig, your mom and your uncle were the only ones to attend your graduation.  They knew you didn’t want any fanfare, so your famous friends didn’t attend, and they had a show to do, but they’d sent you tons of well wishes.

We're coming up, get decent!

You chuckled and shook your head. Anthony usually raided the refrigerator when he came over. This time, you told him to bring his own snacks..

You slipped on what you were wearing for the night.  Craig was in his room getting ready and you had volunteered his place, so you were playing hostess. You were surprised that he was so chill about it, actually. 

“Pika Pika,” you said to yourself in the mirror then ran to answer the doorbell. It was almost 6 pm.

You opened the door for Cookie Monster and Big Bird.  You burst out laughing. But you stopped when you saw Anthony's face. He had like five bags from Whole Foods that he was juggling in his blue arms.

"Jazzy!!!! There's my girl.  Hey Ant! leave the food and your girl. We may run off together."

Anthony came in the door loaded down with bags and kissed you on the cheek.  

“I love you Lindy, but fuck you man.” You punched him on the shoulder. 

“Ow! Time to get this party started!”

Linden heard Jazzy’s Brooklyn accent turn into a London lilt as she started play fighting with Ant. They felt like family at this point.

=================

Ever since the launch party in January, Jasmine had pursued you as a friend persistently. You normally didn’t let anyone in because of the circumstances of your life, but Jas was oblivious to your awkwardness with normal human beings.

“Girl, you are fucking DOPE, and you are NOT gonna deny my love.  I know your life has been a trip, and you don’t have to tell me all of it, but I’m not gonna let you shrivel up and be a little retiring wallflower. Life is to be lived.” 

Jasmine telling you that during a Saturday brunch date in February was the key to your heart. She drew you out, and you didn’t see what value you added to her life.

But she loved you anyway. And you loved her, and of course, Anthony was part of the package.  

He was beautiful, loud, talented, and reckless, but he reminded you too fucking much of Dell to be annoyed with him very long.

Your circle had certainly widened from just Craig. That was one thing for which you could thank Mark. You were working on him being a distant memory.  He hadn’t lasted too long in Bay Boys, quitting soon after the musical opened in March.  

Daveed’s hands and feet had ‘slipped’ one too many times during the scene when he was stomping his ass on stage. Mark cited health reasons, and publicly spiraled a bit. He was currently in rehab. 

Again. 

You had not heard from him and that was absolutely fine with you.

Because Jasmine was in Bay Boys and that was her life, the cast and crew became yours as well. Rafael was the type of chaotic creative genius that fascinated you; you could listen to him talk for hours.  

Things with Daveed were more tricky. Ever since that awkwardness with him after the launch party, you’d kept your distance, but you hung out a lot, so you were trying to be friends.

When you and Jas and Ant and Rafa hung out and talked, Daveed was there, smiling shyly and sneaking glances at you, throwing in pearls of wisdom every so often. 

He was so dope and so talented and intelligent and so freaking hot, but you were trying to get yourself together.  You were convinced that night in January had been a mistake. 

You needed some space. And time.  Law school was no joke, and you were in therapy so entanglements was not what was up.

Daveed sensed your hesitancy and decided to stop pursuing you. But he couldn’t stop how he felt.

You were both a little wasted and keyed up the night of the launch party, and despite the way you were beautiful and intelligent and sexy as fucking hell, he was not going to press you. 

Daveed was sure that you two could be something special if you would give it a chance, but he didn’t want to chase you, but he was so gone for you, that if you just nodded your head at him, he would be at your feet.

The attraction was undeniable. There was a crazy little dance you two did that everyone recognized and respected.  This group seemed to know you were fragile, and that you didn’t need to be pushed too far.

But the more they persisted, the more you came out of your shell.  The more you trusted, the more the old Lindy came back. 

Craig noticed first soon after you started hanging with the crew when you were trying to find a place to live. He went to one showing with you and sat you down for a talk.

“Girl, I love the light in your eyes.  I haven’t seen this Lindy since…well in a long time. Stay with me for as long as you want. I know you need to get through this last semester of school, you don’t need one more thing to think about. I’m proud of the work that you’re doing on yourself, Linden.”

You were grateful to Craig.  His place on the Upper West Side was super convenient to Columbia, and not having to think about finding a place was so clutch.  Third year was kicking your ass.

“Besides, I wouldn’t have this place if it wasn’t for…”

“Hush,  I don’t want to hear that.  Dell would have wanted this. I love you cuzzo.” 

=================

Craig came out in a Sully onesie and immediately dragged Jasmine into a conversation about the Met Gala that had happened a few days ago. 

You approached the kitchen where Ant stood, food all around him on the counter. You were whispering. He smiled a secret smile at you.

“I’m so proud of you doing this for Jasmine.  It’s good for you all to get away. I’m glad that she got a little break. She deserves it all.”

Anthony had arranged for this little get together to be a surprise for Jasmine. This was going to be a kickback weekend.

The show was on a four day hiatus while the set was moved to a bigger theatre.  It was a hit and was destined for a long run.

Ant’s green eyes lit up as you kept talking about Jasmine.

“Yeah, she does. And the woman of the hour deserves all the happiness in the world.” He lifted his beer to you.

They way he said that was weird and you were about to ask him what was up with that when the doorbell started ringing, you went to answer it and were stuck there for a few minutes as people started coming in. 

The food and the drinks were flowing while all kinds of characters came in. 

Now they also had Jack Skellingtom, and a Care Bear in the house to add to Big bird, Cookie Monster, Pikachu and Sully. It was an odd cast of characters who were jamming to 90's rap, eating chicken wings and basically tripping like only friends could do.

Then there was Toni, some tag-along chick who showed up with Rafa.  She had on a plain gray onesie.  What a downer.  

You’d  pegged her for  a star fucker who only hung with Rafa because of who he and his friends were.  The girl was too much in everyone's business. 

"Sooooo. You and Mark ARE broken up for real for real. The tabloids say y’all are back together!  I told my friend Susie you weren’t, but she wouldn't believe me."

You  just smiled and didn't confirm or deny, treating Toni like the paparazzi. The girl was oblivious to your hate and just kept talking.

Daveed rescued you. 

"Hey, Toni, show these folks how you can blow. They're setting up the karaoke machine over there. Show us what you're working with. Someone might hook you up with a gig."

Toni perked up and hurried over to Anthony and Craig, who were setting up the lyrics on the big screen to match the karaoke music. Some Bad Boy joints were up.

Rafa was behind them screaming, "Dylan, Dylan, Dylan!" 

They were a scene.  You  breathed and relaxed a little.

"Don't stress. She's not coming with us  to the island."

You looked up at the tall, fine Grumpy Care Bear who was nursing some of your special 18-year-old Chivas Regal that you had gotten for graduation. His beautiful smile shined out of his brown face and beneath the curls tumbling out of his hood. 

“I’m not pressed. I’m chilling. You can do what you want. With who you want.”

“She’s not with me. Rafa brought her for the ride to the airport. And it’s not entirely true that I can do what I want. With who I want. Because what if who I want to do doesn’t want to do me?”

You knew what he meant. But you eyed his drink instead of looking at him. It wasn’t that you didn’t want him. That was far from the truth. You didn’t want to get lost in him. And you could see that happening.

Daveed saw your wheels turning. You were over analyzing again.  He’d spent three months observing you every chance he got. He felt like he knew your anxieties.  So fucking smart, but here you were thinking too much.

"Hey Genuis Ass. Want some?" Daveed’s voice was softer as he grinned and offered you some of his drink.  “Or, I could go make you something?” For some reason he wanted you to get loose. 

"Nah, I'm good Diggs.”  For some reason you needed to stay in control.  You played it off by changing the subject. 

“I still can’t believe y’all call me that.” 

Daveed just smiled and nodded, chuckling a little. He craned his neck and looked at it, having to dodge a smack upside the head.

“That ass is genius, you know. That’s the one thing He Who Shall Not Be Named was right about. And you’re one of the smartest humans I know.”  

You had to look at him then. The flecks of gold in his eyes tho.  But you could tell from the slight redness that he was a little zooted.  He didn’t get that way around you a lot, but you knew for the stories that he partied occasionally. 

He and Rafa and that Toni chick must have pre-gamed.  You remembered the last time you two were  tipsy together.You cleared your throat and looked away.

“Why did you lie to that girl? She can’t sing.” You were shaking your head, scowling at Toni’s screeching from the karaoke machine.

He winked at you. D was well on his way to getting LIT.

"What? She can blow.”  Daveed sipped his drink and watched her. 

“She’ll suck your soul out and spit it back in your mouth." Daveed was loose. And so was his mouth. But he didn’t care.

Your mouth was hanging open at Daveed as you wondered what Daveed had done with Toni, what Daveed AND Rafa had done with Toni... 

Shit, you were just going to ask.

"How do you know that she..."

"AWWWW SHEEEIIIITTT! THAT'S MY JAM! REMEMBER THIS LINDY??"

“No, I was like, negative 5..”

You raised your voice as he traveled away from you, smiling. He was not slick.

“Well you missed out being tardy to the party…” 

He was backing toward the mic, knocking it out of Anthony’s hand and starting the rap. Rafa joined him, trading verses.

Now as the record spins around, you recognize this sound,

Well, it's the underground,

You know that we're down with wutchyalike

Yeah, with wutchyalike, yeah

And though we're usually on the serious tip, check it out:

Tonight we're gonna flip and trip and let it all hang out tonight,

We're gonna say what we like.

'Cause, yo, yo, we want to know how many people in the flow,

Would like to just let yourselves go

And doowutchyalike,

Yeah, well tonight's your night.

Just eat food, try not to be crude or rude,

Kill the attitude, chill the serious mood,

And doowutchyalike,

Yeah, and doowutchyalike,

Everybody doowutchyalike

Everyone was dancing and Daveed had effectively deflected your question. But you would never forget.

By 8 o’clock, Craig grabbed the mic and motioned for Jasmine to come with him. You had enjoyed some cocktails finally, and just figured they were going to duet Wind Beneath My Wings just like they always did. 

You were actually moving to the music and feeling good.

"Ok guys, whew.  I'm hot.  Is it hot in herrrre?" Craig was fanning himself.

“Whoooo! Nelly!”

You yelled and everyone laughed.

Craig took his hood off and started to unzip his onesie. Jasmine did the same.

You kept dancing nervously, not realizing it, looking around at the others who were also disrobing. You did a double take as D’s abs came into view.  What was going on?

Craig continued.

"Lindy, I just need a minute to talk, can you stop whatever it is you're doing?"  He grinned at you from across the room. "You're still moving Lindy."

You blushed and stopped fidgeting.

"Ummm, Craig, what the..."

One by one people dropped their onesies, all except Toni, who had no clue what was going on. Soon, everyone was standing in Craig’s condo in their swimsuits, looking fine as hell. 

You just looked around, then in your cup wondering if you were too drunk and hallucinating.

“Lindy, you’ve worked real hard, and this past few months have been crazy, so we wanted to do something special for you this weekend, for your graduation, and for your birthday, WHICH IS SUNDAY!!”

Everyone cheered as Jasmine took the mic. “You think this party is for me. Well the joke’s on you bitch, because you have been hosting your own party!”

You opened your mouth, squeaked a little, then spoke,

"But why?.. Everybody?  But what..."

Daveed moved close.

"Damn, you fine," you whispered. 

Your hand flew to your mouth when he smirked in response. Everyone was rolling because turns out, you didn’t whisper.

Daveed cleared his throat. "Thank you. You’re fine yaseif. Anyway, Anthony and Jasmine have a house there, and we’re flying out of JFK tonight.  In about two and a half hours in fact. So we gotta get going.”

You still had only a part of a clue of what was going on. But you couldn't resist all of this.

"Okay? But... I don't have any clothes. And I don’t have a ticket..."

Craig came from the storage room off the kitchen with one of your suitcases. Others started getting their bags as well

"Everybody's shit has been in my house for a week. And girl, you know I got your information. It ain’t nothing but a thang.  Your ticket is ready and waiting. Just sent it to your email.”

Your mouth dropped open and you stared at Craig as everyone pulled their onesies back up and got their bags together.

Your eyes filled with tears that you hurriedly brushed away. Craig came over and hugged you. Then every else joined in for a group hug.

"You deserve, Lindy. Let us celebrate you."

You looked like you didn't quite believe it, but you went along. You laughed, visibly deciding to go with the flow.

"I'm down!"

Toni was nearby. When the hug broke up, she started asking questions.  Your  patience was wearing thin.

"I don’t believe that all these people really roll like this. Y’all wild. Susie won that bet."

You just continued to look at this fool.

"But isn’t this dope?  All these famous, successful men being so fearless with their love and appreciation for Black women, of all people. Who woulda thunk they didn't want white women?"

Toni just kept saying the wrong thing. It was the "of all people" for you.

You stared daggers at your houseguest. Toni caught the look.

"Wait, are you mixed?"

You narrowed your eyes and said, "Black mixed with Black."

Toni clutched her pearls.

"Oh wow. Didn't mean to offend. I just mean everyone knows Jasmine is mixed, with her dad and all, as black as can be. But her white British mom saved her from his skin tone. I mean, she has braids in now, so you can see it, but all she has to do is blow her hair straight and she can pass..."

Toni jumped when Rafa spoke. She didn't know he was there.

"Toni. Not Jas. She's the homie." 

The look in his ice blue eyes could burn. 

"And you are a Black woman, so you know how dope they are. Why would anyone NOT worship at your feet?"

Lindy just sipped her drink as Craig entered the chat. "Amen!"

"Maybe it is time for you to get going, honey. I might call you when I get back."

Rafa  led Toni to the door as she protested.

"But I was going to take you to the air..."

"And I APPRECIATE you Black woman, but we'll get there.  See you later."

Then Rafa shut the door in her face. Linden discovered she loved him eternally at that moment. She was rolling.

No one mourned Toni’s departure as arrangements were made for cars to take everyone to the airport.

"You and Daveed can ride with us, Rafa." Ant to the rescue.

"Yeah, Jasmine loves to look at my profile." Jas pinched him so hard he jumped.

“Fuck!”

Ant  was screaming as he, Jasmine and Rafa went out the door. 

"Peace! See you at airport security.  If you get nabbed by TSA, you on your own!”

Daveed lingered. “I don’t know if all of us and our bags will fit in one car. Can I ride with you and Lindy, Craig?”

Craig smirked at Daveed, but didn’t say anything. “Of course...you good with that Lindy?”

You tried to keep it light. 

“Sure.. no biggie,” you cleared your throat and headed to the bathroom to make sure you had everything you needed.

=================

By the time you got to your Uber, the traffic was horrible. It took over an hour to get to the airport. You felt both anxious about missing the flight and keyed up about sitting next to Daveed in the car.

His thigh and side pressing into yours in the dark in the back of an Uber Black brought back memories of that reckless night. 

When he put his arm up on the seat behind you, “For more room,” he said, in that voice and flashing that megawatt smile, you were enveloped more into his scent and warmth. You had to control yourself not to melt into him.

Craig was sitting on his phone, sneaking glances at you and smirking the entire ride. He’d insisted that you be in the middle because you were so tiny.

The whole world was against you, you thought, as you and Daveed both stared straight ahead, both flashing back to that January night.

You were the last three people to run through the airline gate just at they were about to close it. All your friends in first class cheered when you took their seats, and Rafa popped a bottle of champagne.

"Talk about cutting it close," Ant commented as Rafa gave Daveed a high five.

Daveed looked at you. You shook your head at him. Somehow, you were sitting next to him. You just decided to let it be and have some time.

“Just make sure you don’t molest me under this blanket, Ms. Marshall,” Daveed intoned when you were settled and given amenities for the night.

The flight attendant had to tell y’all to keep quiet as the cat calls went up.

Welp, you thought. This will be the vibe the entire weekend. 

You weren’t mad at it. You loved these people. And you were safe. You just smiled, settled down, and looked out of the window to watch the lights of New York fade away.

=================

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[gaymershigh]

hi! can i request riddle, ace, epel, deuce, and floyd finding out their male s/o is an age regressor to cope with stress? pls make it fluffy!! (also it's ok if you can't do my request !! /genuine)

Despite this being so long in my inbox for so long, I'm actually pretty excited to do this one, anonnie! However, this is a shorter since I don't fully know about age regressing, sorry about that! ಥ_ಥ

Triggers: none

Riddle, Ace, Epel, Deuce and Floyd discovering their male s/o is an age regressor

He was always the one who gets stressed out from his dorm members so you're probably the one that needs to comfort him if anything but it doesn't mean he doesn't know how to comfort you as well.

But that doesn't mean he automatically knows what to do when he's finds this information about you, though. He has learned several things throughout his garbage childhood but age regression is not one of it.

When Trey said it's been days since you looked drained and tired from what he presumely was because of you studying for the final exam and just prefect duties in general. This got him worried because you're his lover and obviously he doesn't want to see you worried.

When he did check up with you, he was loss for words. There were coloring books everywhere and then there's you connecting dots to finish the drawing of the book.

This is probably the times you are really stressed and of course he wants to help at all cost but he really doesn't know what to do. Of course, with your little explanation, everything gets a little bit easier to handle.

He didn't really have a good parent role models and the only thing that his mother did to him was celebrating his birthdays and sometimes act nice. He's not gonna act like that of course but he might accidentally project what his mother has done to you and if he did, he will be on his knees and apologize.

He'll do research's about things he should do with children/toddler/infant around your age. He wants you to feel fully comfortable on age regressing around him, this could also help him with parenting if you two would ever consider adopting or so.

Dating Ace won't save you from all the chaos and disasters from this school and he DEFINITELY won't stop from causing any trouble and stressing you out unintentionally.

To be honest, you're a whole different breed of alien if you don't get stressed out at the slightest by your boyfriend and friend's shenanigans. Not only do you have to deal with daily disarray but you also have prefect duties to be doing thanks to that deatbead of a principal.

You always run up to the dorm as soon as you had finish your tasks from headmaster. At the first few times you did it he didn't really give one. You probably want to sleep since it's just tiring but as more day passes by, Ace gets more pissed. You have been lessening your time with him and barely even check your phone.

He gets it, you're tired and all but he's a selfish bastard and wants your love 24/7. So when you kept ending your calls with him very early and he HAD it. So when he barged in to your room, my man went stiff. You were just in the middle of playing with some toys until he interrupted your little session.

"Uh, what are you doing?"

Just by telling him you're age regressing, he already knows what's up and what to do for some reason. He be sprinting to Sam's shop, not caring the weird looks he's getting from buying all these children/toddler type stuff. Does he care? HELL NO! You're his top priority at the current moment and this might be some way to spend time, no?

He'll dote and spoil you to bits. You're so cute, there's no way he could ever say no to your little self! Cuddles? Of course! New toys? Definitely! Headpats? Say no more! He'll love you and treat you like the lovely prince.

He sometimes accidentally forget that you can change to your big self and you'll have to remind him. He once treated you like a baby when you're in your bedroom, thinking you are still in your little self. It was awkward and he wished and beg for you to not speak about it ever again.

He was probably forced to take care of a baby in his hometown back then. Though, this doesn't mean he's automatically good at taking care of kids. If anything, he's horrible at it. He hadn't learned much from that babysitting experience.

Now, when he discovered that you age regress, those terrible memories of the baby crying up a storm comes back but this is potentially a time for him to enhance his babysitting skills, maybe? He freaking hopes so, he doesn't want to be a lost cause.

He's the one that always gets stressed and always in the lowest from the VDC practice. The burden that Vil keeps throwing on him makes him so worked up, he doesn't even see you getting also a tiny bit stressed from both manager duties and just watching others getting pressured in general.

You've been holding it back for awhile to turn to your little self in worries of getting caught. He finally notices when Ace asked if you're ok because you seemed like you're struggling with something. He got super suspicious when you kept brushing him off.

He thinks that you're just uncomfortable to talk about in public or it's something so private that even talking about it to your friends is a no-no. So when you're in your bedroom, he'll pester about you to spill the beans.

So when you did and explained to him what age regressing, he just let out a simple "oh". He doesn't know what to do other than asking questions on what you like to do. Please be straightforward with your answer because he's garbage at reading hearts and also just looks tragic when taking care of people younger than him.

He forces you that you're going to be little but in little and have to lock the door if you do because you need to let the stress go. He will also ask you if you're little subtly if your signs of being little is not as obvious.

He will learn how to take care of you and buy the things you like by looking at the things you already have or have a lot of quantity. He's not the best at taking care but he's getting better so give him a clap for that.

No little kid in their right mind would approach him when he's in his middle school days, meaning that he has have not a single interaction with a kid that could be remembered. If anything, they'll run the second he tries to even approach them. Sure, he now has experience with talking to kids but it's so painfully awkward it hurts your soul.

He knows what little space is but only the meaning of it and nothing else. He thought that people only do this because they want to literally go back to old memories which is partly true but that's not enough. You must educate this fool.

Just like Ace, you're not safe from the disasters of the school and your own boyfriend's idiocy. Him being less smart than Ace doesn't help it either. You're the god of patience if you can handle all of the messes both you, your friends and boyfriend have caused. Also again, you're something else if you can handle all the prefect duties from Crowley because he sucks.

You usually have study sessions with him so you can help him get better at history and other subject he sucks at and this could also help you memorise and learn new things as well. Though, you're have been either showing up late or keep coming up with excuses when you just don't attend at all. He's getting really impatient but doesn't want to sound like an asshole so he just deals with it.

You got caught for being little while in call without realizing. He swear he thought he can speak baby/toddler language when he spoke to you when you're still immersed in your little toys.

He ran to your room in Usain Bolt pace to your place, worried sick for you. You were finally back to your original state and explain the situation to avoid any stupid conclusions that he possibly can come up with. He was shocked when he found out this is a way to cope with stress. He asked will it help him too and if he should do it, are you against it or are you all up for it? Your choice.

He googled about how to deal with you when you're little and it miraculously help! Kinda. I mean, he knows what things to but for you and how to kinda get along with your activities. How to dote and actually treat you like your younger self? Eh...not so much but just like Epel, he's learning but not as fast as the purple haired boy. Still, praise him for putting this much effort!

It's known that he's spectacular with kids. Despite his intimidating height, he knows exactly what do without even making a single kid quiver in fear. He's way more experienced than anyone here and knows how to deal with age regressing people without himself even knowing it.

He does know what age regressing fully is just like Ace. Just say the word and he's lock and loaded with bunch of children activities that you two could do. He makes sure he brings the "fun" ones only according to his taste.

Being the manager for the VDC competition is such a burden, you knew it will be stressful but NOT this bad. From listening to others' worries to knowing the fact that there's nothing you can do at all about Vil's strictness. Watching others being in dilemmas while you're forced to sit back, watching your friends and peers at the lowest shatters your heart.

You feel absolutely useless and you hate it and telling your boyfriend about your problems won't help that much either. If anything, you don't want to annoy Floyd by seeing you in such a downer state so what's the best option? Don't spend too much time to the point of showing your problems until VDC is over! Definitely a good horrendous idea.

You didn't really think this through when he gets annoyed that you're being non-commital and looks like you really want to get out of here. He'll let it slide for a bit, thinking you're not in the mood like him sometimes but when it keeps happening consistently, he's had enough. He wants answers asap.

You should've expected him questioning and being unable to hide things from him. Since you know it's technically useless to hide things from him at this point. Might as well tell the whole thing, in a private place of course. There's no way you can let anyone else hear your little secret.

The only thing he asked is to confirm that you're age regressing. Once you say yes, he immediately goes down to business. You want that dino toy? Purchased. You don't know which playdough set you want? Out of stock. You want a kids meal type of food? All ready and served. He's really doing all this for you and wants to spoil you rotten. In exchange for cuddles and some praises of course!

Like I said before, he doesn't want your activities while being little to be quitet and dull. So he bought every single game that suitable at your little self's age and very fun for him. Get ready, because you're going to have a bomb of a time with him!

You could potentially be taller than him but he's going to pick you up and doing little circles like you're an actual baby. He'll coo you and everything, he makes the experience like you're actually back in childhood which is an amazing job.

Since there's people in your dorm thanks to the boot camp and he really wants you to be fully and all, he's going to let you be in his room so you can be his little self. Ain't no way some dumb boot camp will stop you from having a fun time with Floyd!

Can you tell that I got a sudden energy boost when writing Floyd's part? Lol~

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[before-we-get-started]

Dream Come True

Colin Shea x O/C Corinne MacAdam

Multi-Chapter Story - Complete

Summary: Colin Shea and his band Rock the Cradle are finally making it big - until something unexpected happens. When he meets a girl that makes him reconsider his player ways, he thinks his life may be coming together, until she blows it apart.

Warning: Bad language, smut, suicidal ideations - no one under 18, please

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please do not read if you are underage. I do not own the character of Colin Shea; the rest are my original characters. By reading beyond this point, you understand the disclaimers as posted.

Chapter Seven

Cori and Seth fell into a very comfortable rhythm, meeting for dinner, going for walks, catching an art exhibit, getting coffee. He was great company and she felt truly at ease with him.

Her job was starting to pick up. Ms. Robbins was ready to start entertaining. Cori found a confidence she didn’t have when she started, and she credited it to her rebirth – new place, new job, new boyfriend. She felt better about herself than she had in months.

In the meantime, Colin’s life was about the same. Lots of gigs with the band, lots of girls, but the one he wanted was out of reach. He and Cori had spent a few evenings together, a couple of times on the rooftop when he was writing songs. She’d giggled at some of his lyrics until he got them straightened out. The problem was, all she wanted to talk about was Seth. He was amazing. He was great. He was outstanding. He was smart. Colin hated him. He was everything Colin wasn’t or ever would be. He was established and well educated and a grown up, all the things that Colin wasn’t.

One evening when she’d invited him for pizza, they watched the Red Sox game on TV and started talking about when they were in high school. Then Cori shared a couple of college stories, but her mood took a turn and she wasn’t so talkative.

“Ok Debbie Downer, what just happened? I was telling you about how I got taped to the top of a flagpole for high school football initiation and then suddenly, you tell me about college and you’re quiet. What’s up?”

She looked so cute tonight. She had on jean cut-offs and a pink sleeveless button up blouse that tied at the bottom, cut low to show the swell of her breasts and with just enough skin visible around the waist that Colin had to shift a couple of times to get comfy on the couch. Her hair was pulled back with a few tendrils hanging down. She had a smattering of freckles across her nose from being in the sun and her eyes were particularly gorgeous. He kept looking at her from the top of her head to the sweet pink toenails on her bare feet and each time, his breath would hitch in his throat.

“I told you about my fiancée, right?”

“Yeah,” he said sadly.

“Well I started seeing him my senior year of high school and we stayed together during college, even though we went to different schools.”

Colin took a swig of beer. “I think I know where this is going,” he said.

“Yeah. He cheated on me. Of course I thought it was the end of the world, except I didn’t even know what that was yet.”

“That’s tough,” said Colin and she let out a laugh.

“Colin. Seriously. For you, it’s incomprehensible. I know you probably think it was stupid that we even tried to stay together.”

He looked a little hurt. “Hey, I respect people that want a relationship. I think it’s hard at that age, with all that temptation, but I know it can be done. Would it be my choice? Hell no. But it meant something to you. So what happened?”

“I was pretty devastated, but he was very remorseful. He came all the way to see me at my school and apologized profusely. He told me it would never happen again. It took a while but I took him back and eventually, I trusted him again.”

“You must have felt like he was worth giving another chance,” he said.

She sighed. “I thought he was, the best. When we graduated, we got engaged. I could see all of it – the wedding, the house with the white picket fence with kids running around. He and I were so compatible.” Her voice dropped off at the end.

He hesitated. “Do you want to talk about the rest? You don’t have to –“

“No, it’s ok. We had our rehearsal dinner at the hotel where we were getting married on Friday night. We parted for the night and wouldn’t see each other until I walked down the aisle. As I was leaving the bar, I noticed he’d left his credit card. I took it up to his room, excited that we’d get one more kiss. I was so stupid.” She felt the tears coming.

He could see it too. He moved toward the couch to try and get closer to her. “It’s ok,” he said softly. “We can stop.”

“No,” she said a little sob escaping. She took a deep breath and sighed. “I caught him in bed my very best friend. And when everything was said and done, he’d had girls all along. He’d never been faithful to me, not even in high school.” She wiped a tear away from her eye.

He was suddenly overwhelmed by feelings – rage at this guy for hurting her, sadness because she was sad, protectiveness because he didn’t want her to hurt anymore. Her tears truly broke his heart. He knelt down in front of her chair and started to put his arms around her, until there was a knock at the door.

“Great,” she muttered, wiping her eyes. She stood up and made her way to the door, gathering herself as she went. She looked through the peephole and let out a little squeal, opening the door. “Seth! You said you wouldn’t be back until tomorrow!”

He swept her up in a hug, lifting her off the ground, then planted a soft kiss to her lips. “I got an earlier flight. I didn’t want to be away from you a second longer than I had to be.” He kissed her again, this time more deeply and urgently.

Colin suddenly felt incredibly conspicuous. He stood up, dropping his beer bottle in the trash can. Seth eyed him over Cori’s shoulder.

“Hey Seth,” he said with a half smile.

“Colin, hey,” he said.

“Well, I’m gonna get out of here so you two can enjoy the night.” Colin stepped around them and walked out the door as Seth lifted Cori again, kissing her as he shut the door behind them. He stood there for just a second. It was jealousy this time, but there was something else – longing, maybe. He was really smitten with her. In fact, if he was really honest, he was falling in love with her.

This was dangerous territory. Time to take evasive action. He ducked into his apartment and changed, then headed to the bar down the block. Time to find a companion for the night, to make him forget that he wasn’t going to be with the girl he really wanted.

“Colin, you guys have to do this.” Cori was pacing around her apartment, talking with her hands, full of energy.

“I don’t know. It’s not what we normally do.”

“It’s a great way to get your name out to people who wouldn’t normally go to Rap’s or some of the other places you play. And it’s really good money.”

He was leaning against her kitchen counter, beer bottle in hand, the other rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, but this is different. This is a big, stuffy old people event.”

She leveled him with a look. “It is not,” she said. “My job is to broaden the net for her fundraising. She has plenty of big stuffy events for old people. She has to widen her demographic. She says if they’re having fun, they’ll donate. I know lots of young people feel like they are a charity, but it’s my job to bring them in so we can teach them about our foundation.”

He shook his head and sighed. “I don’t make any decisions for the band, we do it as a group. I’ll ask them.”

“Make sure you tell them how much she’s paying,” she said with a smile.

“That’s what worries me. I know they’ll say yes.”

“Why is that so awful?”

“It’s not awful, it’s just – I don’t know, I never pictured us being that kind of band.”

“The kind that makes money?”

He shot her a look. “No,” he said forcefully, “a band that kind of sells out and plays just stuffy events.”

She crossed her arms and gave him an angry look. “Colin. Are you crazy? The biggest names in music play private events all the time. One of the attorneys at Seth’s firm just paid huge money for Maroon 5 to play his daughter’s 16th birthday party. You think Adam Levine was like, ‘oh man, I’m compromising my principles.’ No, he took the money and probably even said thank you.”

He smiled a little, he knew when he was beaten. “Fine. Give me all the details and I’ll talk to them at practice.”

“Great!” she squealed. “You guys are so hot right now, getting you at an exclusive event will be huge. And the venue is so awesome. I promise we’ll take good care of all of you.”

He smiled, trying to hide the fact he’d love to work with her. “Oh, hey, I meant to tell you – Rap’s is closing early Wednesday for an employee appreciation and we’re going to play a set. I thought you might want to come, it won’t be so crowded and crazy.”

“Mm,” she said, taking a sip from her water bottle. “Thanks, let me check with Seth and I’ll let you know.”

“Oh, the invite is just for you. Since it’s employee appreciation, they told us we could each ask one person.”

“Wow,” she said, “I’m your plus one? I’m moving up in the world!”

“Damn right,” he said confidently and they both laughed.

“Alright, count me in. I’d love to come.”

He felt a swell of excitement – he loved every minute he spent with her. He was lucky her boyfriend didn’t mind him hanging around as much as he did. Some guys would get all possessive, but Seth seemed fine with it. Thank goodness.

“Alright, I’m out of here. And thanks for including us in the benefit. I don’t think I even bothered to thank you before I went full diva.”

She laughed, a sound he had come to love. “Well, if you’d said no, it was on to U2. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind being sloppy seconds to Rock the Cradle.”

He grabbed his left pec, laughing heartily. “Bono should be so lucky.”

For just a second, he had an impulse to kiss her. She looked so good, he loved that he made her smile so much. But he stopped himself – he had to do this right or he’d blow it.

“Ok, see ya later gator.”

“Bye,” she said seeing him out the door. As she closed it, she thought how crazy it was that she’d ever been interested in him. She’d always have a thing for him, but he’d never see her the way he saw the swarms of girls that were all over him at a gig, or the ones that nuzzled up to him at parties or the ones that were lucky enough to enjoy a sunrise with him. He’d always be out of reach for her. She was lucky that Seth had come along when he did or she’d spend a lot of nights staring through the peephole, wishing she was with 6A.

On Wednesday, she worked a little late so she went straight from work to Rap’s. The doors were locked and a guy was posted with a guest list. He opened up, saw her name on the list and let her in. He directed her to the green room where the band was prepping.

She came to the door and knocked softly. “The groupies are here!” someone shouted from inside and they all hooped and cheered. The door was opened by a guy she recognized as the drummer. She shoved her hand at him. “Oh man, it’s just Cori.”

She giggled. “Sorry to disappoint you!”

“If you’re looking for Colin, he’s in the bathroom squeezing into his leather pants. He’ll be out in a minute.”

She laughed as he led her to a table with some food and drinks.

“Help yourself,” he said.

“Thanks!” She grabbed some veggies and fruit and a bottle of water and found a chair by Kevin. The other guys were coming and going, getting ready.

“So,” she said, “is it good to be back at it and so busy?”

“Yeah,” he said. “There was a time I wondered if we’d get back but we did.”

“Yeah, Colin told me,” she said.

He looked surprised. “Wow, he must really like you. He never really said much to anyone. I just wish I could find out what really happened with him. Something he just doesn’t want to talk about.”

Cori knew he thought she knew more than she did, so she played along. “Yeah, just crazy. Thank goodness he was ok.”

“Oh yeah, he took a really hard hit. I was terrified. I thought, here we were playing hoops like we always do, and in just a second, he was flat on his back not breathing. Leave it to Colin’s dumb ass to die while he’s showing off a killer dunk.”

Cori’s breath caught in her throat. She tried not to show her surprise.

“We were lucky someone knew CPR. He was so upset we missed the meeting with the record company. Between recovering from being hurt, having a horrible concussion and missing out on that opportunity, he was so down. Colin is never down, but he was almost too far to reach.”

For a second she felt guilty – she’d wondered if it was drug or alcohol related. How could she have thought that about him?

“Good news is here we are, back in the swing. I hear you got us a high-end gig.”

“What? Oh yes, did you all discuss?”

Kevin let out a laugh. “There’s nothing to discuss! It’s great money and exposure, we’re doing it.”

“Oh good! I’m so glad,” she said, still reeling inside about what Kevin had told her. Just then, her golden rock god emerged from the bathroom. He was truly born to front a rock band. When he saw her, he broke into the most beautiful smile. She felt that pull of desire in her belly, but tried to look as normal as possible.

“You made it,” he said.

“Of course!”

Someone stuck their head in the door behind him – “five minutes.”

“That’s my cue. Have a great show, break a leg or whatever you say to a band.” She giggled.

“Thanks Cori.”

She made her way to her seat and sat through an incredible set. All the bar’s employees were having a ball, dancing in front of the stage and partying. She nursed a drink and spent her time watching him. He was so beautiful. He had a good voice, not the greatest but no one would ever notice because his stage presence was incredible. He had the crowd in the palm of his hand.

When it ended and the lights came up, the crowd swarmed the stage. The band’s guests emptied out of their tables and climbed up, hugging their significant others and chatting with the crowd. Just as Cori was about to walk towards the stage, a tall, dark haired girl strode in. Cori stopped and looked at her. She was breathtakingly gorgeous. Long legs in a short skirt, crop top that showed off her tanned skin, her hair perfect, large gold earrings dangling from her ears. She had on designer high heels and as she walked by, Cori caught a whiff of what she was sure was expensive perfume. She walked right up to the stage and looked at Colin, and he froze for a second, then reached down for her hand and pulled her up. She wound her arms around his neck, leaning in to say something to him and then laid a kiss on him that was pure fire.

Cori suddenly felt out of place and was grateful she had a clear shot at the door. She left quietly, no one any the wiser. She walked the few blocks home, locked the door and went in to prep for bed. She looked at herself in the mirror. She’d come straight from work so her cardigan and skirt weren’t cool at all. She looked frumpy compared to the glamour that Colin was kissing on stage. Her phone rang.

“Hey baby,” she said to Seth.

“Hey, you’re home.”

“Yeah, I left soon as the band finished.”

“I figured they’d have a big party after.”

She thought about the great time Colin was having with the gorgeous girl. “Nope, no party, just came home.”

“Aw, well I’m glad you’re home safe. We’re still on for Friday, right?”

“Yes! I’m so excited, I can’t believe you got us a table at Basile. You’re the best.”

“I fly in about 7 and I’ll head straight from the airport, should be there by 8 no problem.”

“Great, I can’t wait.”

They said their goodbyes and Cori pulled on a sleep shirt and crawled into bed. The last thing she thought about was her sexy rocker neighbor and how no matter how much she wanted him, she could never have him, not even a little of him.

Colin kept an eye on Cori as soon as the band finished. He wanted to sweep her up and spend the rest of the evening with her. When Claire suddenly appeared in front of the stage, he couldn’t believe it. She’d appeared just as instantly as she’d disappeared from his life. She was the one he thought might be for good, and he’d allowed himself to fall hard for her. Then, just like that, she was gone. He’d awoke one morning to find a note next to the bed. No explanation, just “Thanks,” and she was gone. Now, here she was again, and her timing was horrible. He looked up just in time to see Cori slip out the front door.

He stayed for the party, Claire catching him up on her travels and telling him she’d missed him and just had to see him. She saw on the internet that they were playing at Rap’s tonight and even though it was a private party, she talked her way in (she was used to always getting her way). He drank too much and took her back to his apartment. He didn’t know that across the hall, 6C couldn’t sleep and was up when she heard voices. She’d peered through the peephole at them, Colin’s hands all over Claire as he fumbled with the door, where they’d fallen into 6A and closed the door behind them. Knowing he was home safe, Cori crawled back in bed and finally fell asleep.

The next morning, Ms. Robbins had an early appointment and told her not to come in until 11. She’d made up for the sleep she lost the night before and was stepping out the door when Colin appeared at his door.

“Hey,” she said.

He hesitated, then “Hey.”

“You guys were great last night.”

“Thanks. Hey – I need a favor, a big one. Can I come over?”

She looked at her watch. “Sure, I’m going in late today, I have plenty of time.”

He walked into her apartment clad in only his boxers and laid down on the couch, arm behind his head.

“What are you doing?” she said with a laugh.

“Waiting.”

“On what?”

“For Claire to leave.”

Cori looked perplexed. “Wait – why don’t you just ask her to leave?”

“She’s not awake yet.” He said all of this as if it was perfectly normal.

“So wake her up.”

“Well, we were up pretty late, I wanted to let her sleep. But I don’t want to be there, I just want her to go.”

She thought about this for a minute. “Why?”

He sat up on the couch and pulled a throw pillow over his crotch, resting his arms on it. “Remember when I told you there was one girl I thought was the one?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s her.”

Cori raised her eyebrows. “I understand. She’s stunning.”

“Yeah, and she knows it,” he grumbled. “She’s the worst. The whole time we were together last night, all I could think was how she’d unceremoniously dumped me, never called or texted, then just showed up last night. Like everything was fine.”

She sat down on the chair. “A normal person would’ve said, ‘hey Claire, I was really disappointed in how it ended and I don’t want to be with you anymore.’”

He thought about that for a minute. “I mean, maybe. That never entered my mind. She looked really good last night and we had a few beers, probably too many. But that’s it, I’m done.”

Cori shook her head, processing all he’d said. “So let me get this straight. You really, really liked her, she broke your heart and dumped you on your ass, you don’t hear from her for a long time, she shows up out of nowhere and now you want her to disappear without saying a word to her.”

“Yep,” he said, popping the ‘p’.

“But she was ok to fuck last night.”

Colin flinched at the words. He’d never heard Cori use any language like that. “Jeez Cori, where did that come from?”

“It came from someone that got dumped by an asshole who also wanted to come back – again – but I had enough dignity to tell him to go fuck himself instead of setting myself up again.” She could feel the color rise in her face.

“Look,” said Colin, “I think these are two different situations. I never thought about marrying her or anything, I just really liked her.”

“So that’s what ‘the one’ means to you? Someone worth fucking more than once?” Cori could feel her temper spiraling out of control, but she wasn’t completely sure why and she was flying without a net.

He looked down at the floor, then back at her. “I’m sorry if you’re offended –“

“I guess I’m offended that she treats you like shit, shows up out of nowhere, jumps on stage with you and you bring her home and can’t get enough of her. I saw you when you were trying to get in the door while you were attached to each other. So she’s worth another shag even though she treats you like shit and I’m not worth fucking at all. I can’t believe I’ve actually been comparing myself to these girls you sleep with. How stupid am I?”

He was speechless. What did she just say?

“Cori, hold on a minute –“

“No,” she said, standing up. “You need to go. Go across the hall and grow the fuck up. If you don’t want her there, tell her. I’m not letting you hide over here. I’m just another girl for you to use. I guess I should be happy, at least I get to see you once in a while. As soon as we sleep together, you’d disappear. I’m lucky that I have a mature boyfriend who respects women and doesn’t just see them as a good time. You’re no better than my ex.”

He swallowed slowly, not sure what to say. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She did have feelings for him. He didn’t think that was possible. How could she, she was way too good for him. On the down side, she was comparing him to the ex that cheated on her with her best friend. Not great.

“I mean it. Go. Get out of here. Just go.”

He stood up from the couch and hesitated in front of her.

“Go,” she said with venom in her voice. He did as she said.

Cori was so hot, she started fanning herself. Her fists were balled up and she was grinding her teeth. She looked at her watch and saw that she’d better head out or she’d be late. She made sure through the peephole that Colin wasn’t around and hurried out and down the stairs.

[godidfk]

I Don’t Need A Hero (Part One)

Summary: You don’t like heroes. They were a sham. But when your quirk disappears you are shocked to find you need them more than you thought. One in particular more than others..

Pairing: Eijirou Kirishima x reader

Warnings: angst kind of?

Word Count: 1.5K words

A/N: honestly I have no idea what I’m doing with this but also so many ideas so lets see how this goessss. I’m working on part two and I’ll link it up when I’m done! Let me know what you think though...

Part Two ----------------------------------------------------------

“Y/n come ON! You know how long I’ve been waiting to meet him! You promised you’d come with me!” For what felt like the millionth time that week your best friend was chastising you for not wanting to go to her favorite heros meet and greet. She’d been following Chargebolts’ career since the very beginning. She’d always wanted to meet him but had always been just short of getting tickets to one of his meet and greets. Being the amazing friend you were, you managed to find one for her birthday. You hadn’t expected her to want you to COME though. 

“Listen, I know I said I’d come but there’s going to be so many people and you know I’m really not super into Chargebolt or anything. I wouldn’t want to be a downer on your big moment Molly! You deserve it to be perfect!” You knew there was no way of getting out of it. But you had to try right? 

“Y/n you are coming with me. End of discussion. You won’t be ruining my moment. In fact, I need you there so when I fall apart after I have someone to safely guide me home!” She gave you her classic puppy dog eyes and you smirked at her. 

“Alright fine. But don’t expect much from me.”

----------------------------------------------

There were so many people outside the venue you thought you might suffocate. There were so many thoughts yelling. All of them were just repeated screams about Chargebolt. 

“What am I going to say to him?”

“Will he think I’m cute?”

“Will I get to touch him?”

“God he’s so hot.”

“I’m going to marry him.”

It was all disgusting. Don’t they know these heroes are all fakes? They’re just people. If he wasn’t famous I doubt half of these girls would even look his way. It was all too loud. You avoided the city for a reason. You felt Molly grab your hand and you looked up at her. She looked more excited than you’d ever seen her. But her eyes were filled with worry and question. 

“Hey don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. They’re going to let you in any second, have you decided what you’re going to say to him yet?” with the way her face lit up you went ahead and guessed that she definitely had. Before she got the chance to open her mouth the squealing of a million fans roared as the doors flew open. Grabbing her hand you took Molly to the line that had quickly started forming, making sure she was as close to the middle back as you could. You both had discussed this at length. If she was to close to the front he wouldn’t remember her. But if she was in the very back he would be tired and not as receptive to her. The middle back was perfect if she wanted to make a good impression that stuck with him. The voices around you got louder and you had to fight the urge to cover your ears. Knowing it would be no help you held your hands firmly to your side and squeezed Molly’s hand. You looked up to see Chargebolt come into view. The hand grabbing yours tightened as Molly squealed in excitement. Looking from her back up to the hero you saw a head of bright red hair had appeared standing next to him. Red Riot. He was standing next to Chargebolt and waving at the crowd in front of him. Just then the announcer started talking.

 “Alright, everyone! Thank you for lining up! As you can see, Red Riot is here! He won’t be staying for the meet and greet but he stopped in to say hello! Now if-” The announcers’ voice faded to silence as the noise in your ears got too loud. Looking around you could tell no one was talking out loud and you cursed under your breath. You turned to look at your friend, about to excuse yourself when you noticed a pair of eyes on you. Looking up you noticed Red Riot looking at you with an eyebrow quirked. What shocked you most is that as soon as your eyes met his everything was quiet. No noise. No voices. Just him. You must have looked as scared as you felt because his eyebrows furrowed.

 “I am so sorry Molly. I have to go. I’ll be outside waiting for you. He’s going to love you.” Before waiting for a response from your shocked looking best friend you squeezed her hand and quickly turned and walked out of the building. Running down the street to a nearby alley before stopping. Leaning against the wall you tried to breathe as you tried to deal with the lack of noise. It had never been this quiet in the city before. It was overwhelming.

 “Are you alright?” Startled you looked up to see Red Riot standing down the alley. What the hell was he doing here?

“I’m fine.” You didn’t like the way your voice cracked as it echoed around the vacant alley.

 “I’m sorry if I startled you. I just felt like I should come to check on you. You looked pretty freaked out in there. Your friend was worried about you. I told her I’d come.” Staring up at him you saw that same concern in his eyes. You hated it.

 Looking down at the ground you realized what Molly had done for you. “Of course she would use her one chance to meet another one of her favorite pros to ask him to make sure I’m okay… At least she didn’t run after me herself. I never would’ve forgiven myself if she missed out on Chargebolt because of me. I told her I shouldn’t have come.” You realized you were rambling on to yourself. You looked up to him to see him smirking at you. “Thank you for checking on me. But I’m fine. I don’t need some hero to come to my rescue.” Standing back up you began to walk back toward the front door of the venue. You had made it about halfway when someone slammed into you from behind, knocking you over.

 “Hey watch it, lady!” Looking up at the back of the person who had run into you you realized you hadn’t heard them coming. How long had it been? Since you weren’t able to avoid someone who wasn’t looking? How long had it been since you had silence like this? A tear slowly fell from your eye as you heard footsteps running up behind you and saw a hand in front of you.

“Here, let me help you up. People need to learn to watch where they’re walking out here. You’re not hurt are you?” Red Riot was looking down at you. Waiting for you to take his hand. Ignoring the hand, you pushed yourself up from the ground. Unable to make yourself look at him, you turned away.

 “I told you I don’t need a hero. Just go.” Straining your ears, finally, you heard his footsteps go in the opposite direction and eventually disappear. 

----------------------------------------------------

The middle back was starting to seem like a bad idea as you waiting for Molly to come back outside. Standing against the wall you watched as girl after girl left the building. Trying to process the lack of noise was getting easier. Not easy. But easier. Ears straining, you tried to take in all the soft sounds around you. Trying to figure out what went with what. Hearing the door open again you finally saw Molly come out and look around. 

“Hey there Molly darling. How’d it go?” You tried to look optimistic when she finally looked back at you. 

“y/n you are NOT going to believe what happened in there. You were right. Middle back was the perfect spot to be. I’ll get into that later though. How are you? Did Red Riot come to check on you?” The concern filled her eyes again and it broke your heart.

 “I’m alright Molly I’ll fill you in when we get back to your place. I’m uh, I’m going to need your help though. I can’t hear.” Her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped a bit. “y/n you can’t hear? Your quirk isn’t working? What the hell happened?”

 “Molly, please. We’ll talk when we get back. Not here. And by the way. How dare you use your one chance to meet your second favorite pro hero to make him come to check on your shitty best friend!” She chuckled but her eyes didn’t lose the concern that was etched so clearly in them.

 “Oh, who has time to care about Red Riot when you’re about to meet Chargebolt! So he did end up coming to check on you?”

“He did. But I don’t need a hero.” 

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Wonderland by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Or on FF

Tagging: @kmomof4 @lfh1226-linda @teamhook

Chapter 2: Emma Swan

Emma sat on the plane with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. She had never felt so trapped in her entire life. She bit the inside of her cheek and her knee began to bounce nervously.

“Emma, everything is going to be alright.”

Emma glared at her mother. “Easy for you to say, you aren’t about to be a prisoner in the middle of the fucking ocean.”

“Don’t you dare talk to your mother with that language.”

Emma narrowed her eyes in her father’s direction. “Apologizes Mother.” The woman smiled sadly. “Happy now, Dave?” She added icily.

“Emma Grace Nolan!” She smirked; her father hated that she had begun calling him by his first name. A fact she took great pleasure in.

The pilot announced that they would be landing, and she turned toward the window, avoiding further conversation with her parents.

Growing up the heiress to the Nolan empire would have been a gift to anyone else, but Emma had always considered it a curse. Her entire life she had been expected to dress to perfection, act like royalty, and most importantly, never soil the family name.

“What’s your name?” “Wouldn’t you like to know!” “Girl, you are in a lot of trouble right now. You can tell me your name or not, either way I’m going to find out.” “Go to hell, officer.” “Have it your way.”

The jolt of the wheels touching down tore her from her thoughts. She closed her eyes, wishing she were anywhere but here.

“I can do this on my own.” She said defiantly as her parents followed her to the waiting limo.

“Not happening.” Her father nodded at the driver and opened the door, waiting for Emma to enter the car before sitting down beside her.

“This is ridiculous, I’m not a child.”

“Then stop acting like one.”

“David.” Her mother scolded.

They rode the rest of the way in awkward silence. When Emma stepped out of the limo, she grabbed her mother by the arm. “If I have to do this the least you can do is let me go in alone.”

Her mother stared at her, and her face softened.

“Emma we just want you to get better. You’re sick.”

“Yeah, well I’m here right? I’m on an island I can’t escape from. What is the harm in letting me walk in there on my own?”

Her father grabbed her bags and started walking up the path to the center. “David.” He turned around, making his annoyance clear. “I think Emma can do the rest on her own.” He paused, looking between them both and then setting her bag down.

“Fine.”

She bent down and slung her bag over her shoulder. “Well, I’m off to prison.”

“Don’t think of it that way, Emma.” Her mother pleaded.

“Whatever.” She turned and walked away, not bothering to look back, choosing to ignore the pain on her mother’s face or the anger on her father’s that she knew was the mask he used to hide his concern.

She swung open the door to the center and walked up to the front desk. The man dressed in a security uniform looked up at her. He was gorgeous, but not the type of gorgeous she was used to seeing. Men in her circle knew they were good looking and with that brought the attitude and money to get any woman they wanted. He had a more down to earth sexy look that she didn’t see in the men she knew.

“Name, please.” He didn’t even bother to hold her gaze, he looked away and frowned.

“Emma Swan.”

“Say’s Nolan in my logbook.” He glanced at her and shrugged.

Emma groaned, ok gorgeous but annoying.

“Listen asshole, it’s Emma Swan. Update your damn records.”

She looked around anxiously as the man typed into his computer. Across the hall her gaze landed on the bluest eyes she had ever seen, staring holes into her. The corner of his lip turned upward into a cocky smirk. “Take a picture, it will last longer.” She cursed under her breath.

He strolled across the room toward her, her breath catching in her throat at the intensity of his stare. “Haven’t met Regina yet, have you lass? No phones allowed; thus, I am forced to burn every naughty detail of you into my brain so that I may use it later...” He leaned closer to her ear; his breath hot against her skin. “for personal reasons.”

The guard at the desk cleared his throat. “Jones, I know it’s your first day, but rule #3 makes this entire exchange completely pointless.”

“Aye, but I still have one hand left to take care of matters myself.” He held up his hand, gesturing with his middle finger toward the guard. Only then did Emma notice the missing appendage on his left side, forcing her eyes to return to man who was drawing her ire.

“What’s rule #3?”

The man smirked and walked away from her. “Good luck, Miss Swan.”

The guard stood, “Ignore him, he’s still adjusting to his first day.” He walked out from behind the desk, Emma was quick to notice that this man obviously worked out. Wonderland certainly didn’t seem to be short on attractive men, no matter how aggravating they were, at least it had great scenery. “Let me take you to Regina, this way.”

“Regina?”

“She’s the manager of WRC. She’ll go over the rules with you.”

“Like rule #3?”

“Ah yes, the no sex rule.”

Emma’s eyes widened, before she was ushered into the large office.

“Regina, I have a new patient. Emma Nolan.”

“Swan. Emma Swan.” She corrected. At least the annoying jerk with the amazing blue eyes and sexy swagger got her name right, even if he was mocking her while using it correctly.

“Please sit.” The woman spoke, gesturing her to the seat across from her. “Thank you, Graham.” The guard left the room and closed the door behind him.

“Miss Nolan, welcome to Wonderland.”

“Look, I prefer Swan, but just call me Emma, since no one seems to listen to my requests around here.”

“I don’t care what you want to be called. Honestly, my job is to ensure your recovery, Emma. That’s all.” She opened her file and began reading. “Born Emma Nolan.” She looked up at her and smiled. “Daughter of David and Mary Margaret Nolan of the Nolan Empire.” She sat down the binder. “Your father owns all those hotels across the world, is that correct?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Yeah, boring.”

“Ah, not impressed with daddy’s money but more than happy to spend it, I’m sure.”

“Don’t pretend you know me.”

“Oh Emma, I don’t have to know you, I know your type. Born with more luxury than most people could ever dream to afford yet so deeply afflicted that you are afraid you’ll never get the one thing you desire the most.”

“And what would that be?”

“Being worthy of the family name.”

“I already told you, I don’t even want that name. I don’t give a fuck about being a Nolan.” The woman smiled and Emma looked away angrily. “Aren’t you supposed to give me the rules or some bullshit, or are we done now?”

“Of course, lets talk rules. You will have individual sessions with Dr. Hopper three times a week as well as group therapy once a week.”

“Can’t wait.” She mumbled and the woman grunted angrily before continuing.

“You’re to be in you room with lights out at 10pm each night.”

“I’m 20, not 12”

“You’re also not in a hotel and you will obey my rules or there will be consequences. There will also be no sex on these grounds.”

“So, I’ve heard. This place is a real downer.”

“Dr. Whale will provide you all of your mediation.” She picked up her file again and glanced through it until she found the information she needed. “Anxiety medication, as needed, as well as Birth Control medication, it appears.”

“Not sure why I need that here.” She scoffed.

“We allow our female patients to continue with their usual regimen since most have plans to leave and return to their lives. If you have plans to stay longer, I can let your Dr. know you won’t be needing it.”

“I never said that.”

“In that case, let me continue, there is a gym on site, as well as a registered dietician to use as needed. So now that we got that out of the way, we just need to sign the paperwork and I’ll need your cell phone.”

Emma yanked her phone out of her pocket and tossed it on the table. “Just give me the papers.”

She passed them toward her, “Please sign, Emma Nolan, that is your legal name.”

Emma grumbled as she took pen to paper, signing her name.

“You can make a phone call to mom and dad after you complete the first 14 days of your treatment.”

“Yeah right.”

“In any case, it will be available if you have changed your mind by then. Now let’s go meet your roommate before your first session with Dr. Hopper.”

“So much excitement, I can hardly contain myself.”

The woman did not hide her contempt toward her as they walked out of the office. Emma knew Regina’s type. She had seen it plenty of times before from the women who looked down their noses at Emma even as they attended her parent’s fancy parties. Those were the women who thought Emma was undeserving of her life. She hated women like Regina Mills. Eventually she would have to find a way to convince this lady to let her go home. She studied her cautiously as they walked. She would do what she always did, find a crack, and expose it.

“Ruby, I have your new roommate, Emma.”

Emma eyed the girl lying on her bed, engrossed in a magazine. “Bed’s over there.” The girl pointed to the other side of the room and the empty bed.

“Dr. Hopper should be ready to see you as soon as you unpack.” Regina nodded to the women and exited quickly.

“She’s a real piece of work.” Emma whispered under her breath.

“The word you’re looking for is bitch.” The tall dark-haired girl added.

“Glad it wasn’t just me thinking that.”

“You won’t have to deal with her much unless you break the rules, so obviously I see her at least once or twice a week.” She grinned.

Maybe she might actually like her roommate.

“I don’t know how you could even walk around here without breaking rule #3 at least once or twice a day.”

“You mean the eye candy?” Ruby mused. “It’s like they’re asking us to break that rule.”

Emma laughed heartily. “That security guard sure is nice to look at.”

“Graham, yeah he’s a bit of a straight arrow. He’ll flirt but I’ve never so much as even been able to convince him of a blow job. And he reports everything back to Regina, so I would tread lightly there.”

“Shame, he’s easy on the eyes.”

“Trust me, wait til you meet the men in our group session. They’ll have you wet and ready before you even leave your seat, I spend most of the session squirming in my chair, but then I’m also a sex addict so maybe it’s just me.”

“You can actually be addicted to sex?”

Ruby shrugged, “Yeah it’s a thing. Hop says I spend too much time worrying about my other vices and not enough looking at the reasons behind why I feel like I need sex all the time.”

Emma had never really enjoyed sex. But then she’d only ever been with Neal, so she didn’t have a lot of experience to compare it to. “So, what’s this Dr. Hopper like? Anything I should know?”

“He’s a nice guy, but not much gets by him. He asks more questions than you’ll be ready for. Best just to answer and move on.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Twenty minutes later, seated across from the curly haired doc and Emma understood what Ruby meant about his number of intrusive questions.

“So why do you think you are here?”

“Isn’t it obvious? My dad is pissed at me and sent me here for punishment.”

“Why do you think your dad is mad at you?”

“Embarrassment, not obeying him, and three thousand other stupid reasons he gets mad at me every day.”

“Why do you think he would be embarrassed?

“Why would you do this Emma?” “Why do you care?” “Emma, I’m your father, I just want to understand why you would get involved in any of this? You knew how bad this would look if you got caught.” “Ah yes, what you actually mean is how bad it would look for you.” “Drugs, breaking and entering, stealing…Emma? Why? Why didn’t you talk to us?” “Don’t start acting like you give a damn now. This is the first time I’ve seen you in three months.”

“He’s David fucking Nolan. Do you know how much money he paid just to keep my arrest out of the news?”

“Do you think he might have been protecting you?”

She laughed loudly, thinking about how absurd it sounded to her. “His business is his number one priority. Trust me, he doesn’t want anyone to find out about my…” She stiffened. “My uh, arrest.”

“You were arrested for breaking and entering, as well as possession of a schedule 2 substance, is that correct?”

She laughed. “It was a joke. We broke into a hotel of one of my dad’s competitors. Stole some cash.”

“We?”

“Um, a friend.”

“Were you also doing drugs with this friend?”

“Well, he wouldn’t be a friend if he didn’t share his drugs.” The joke fell flat as the man stared at her, making a note in his book. “Look it wasn’t a big deal.”

He flipped through the pages of her file. “You were high on cocaine the night you were arrested, is that correct?”

“I know, what a cliché, rich kid arrested doing coke.”

“It says in the report that you were the only one arrested. Where was your friend?”

“Took off. Gotta look out for yourself, right?” Emma chewed on her nails uncomfortably.

He paused and she braced for more questions about her friend but was surprised when he moved on. “How long had you been doing cocaine?”

“I dunno, a few years. Everyone was doing it at parties, its not a big deal.”

“You spent 11 months in jail, isn’t that correct?”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Did something bad happen in jail?”

Emma flinched.

“Emma you can do it. One more push.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.” She yelled, crossing her arms, and staring out the window. “Actually, I’m done talking at all today.”

When he became resigned to the fact that she had no intention of answering any more of his questions, he released her from the session. She stormed back to her room, unsure how she was going to survive this place. She hated being drilled and questioned by someone she didn’t even know.

God, she needed a drink.

She threw herself on her bed and groaned loudly.

“Told you the questions were brutal.”

Emma looked over at her new roommate. “What do you do around here for fun?”

The girl grinned. “Wanna get your heart rate up?”

She leaned onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow, her head cradling into her hand. “Somehow I don’t think you mean that in a way that is actually interesting or fun.”

“Come on. Trust me.”

She begrudgingly followed the girl through the hallways until she yanked open the double doors and paraded into the large gym.

“Ok you definitely lost me at physical exertion.”

“I said to trust me.”

She grumbled as they both walked over to the treadmills. “I don’t understand how exercise equates to…”

She gestured toward the opposite corner of the gym. “Nothing beats a good work out when you have something like that to look at.”

Emma watched the man remove his shirt and she grinned in the direction of her roommate. “Ok I’ve learned to trust you. You do know where all the fun is around here.”

“That’s Jefferson. Hot as hell, great in bed.” Emma stared at her, mouth standing open.

“You’ve had sex with him? Here?”

“Oh yeah, got a week of solitary for it but it was worth it.”

Emma increased the speed on her treadmill when two other men entered the room. The one Graham had called Jones with the blue eyes and smug attitude and a shorter man striding beside him.

“Oh, he’s new.” The girl sang beside her.

“Apparently it’s his first day. Graham called him Jones. Real asshole though.”

“Oh, even better, those are the best ones in bed.” She pointed to the guy next to him. “That’s Will. He’s hilarious, only got him to kiss me once, he has a fiancé waiting for him at home. Boring. Just don’t listen to a thing he says.” She laughs. “Compulsive liar.”

Emma watched as Jefferson greeted the two men. He lifted his shirt above his head and Emma felt her mouth go dry staring at his chest, a patch of dark hair trailing down into the waistband of his sweats.

“One hand, never done anyone in that situation before.” Ruby whispered.

The man stood in the corner, lifting one of the weights with his right arm, glancing in their direction. Emma increased the speed on her bike again, feeling the sweat starting to roll down her back. She swore she saw him smirk in her direction and she felt the fire between her legs start to burn. She broke eye contact with him, focusing on the numbers moving in front of her.

“Hello ladies.” She turned to see the one Ruby called Will approaching them.

“William. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Ruby Red, baby, glad to see you are back in general. Who’s your friend?”

“Will, Emma. Emma, Will.” Ruby introduced them, her voice coming out in strained breathes as she ran next to her.

“Lovely to meet you, I’m Will. Though you may have seen me on television.”

“Sorry, don’t watch a lot of television.”

He frowned and Jones approached them. “We meet again, Swan.”

“How unlucky for me.” She punched the stop button on her treadmill and slowed her pace as the machine came to a crawl.

“Was it something I said?” He laughed as she grabbed a towel and slung it over her neck.

“You breathed.” She groaned.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.” Her roommate stepped off her treadmill and held out her hand to Jones. “Ruby.”

“Pleasure is all mine, lass. Killian Jones.” He greeted.

“Aren’t you that pirate?”

“Aye, busted.”

“I knew it! Did you know that was him, Emma?” She squealed.

Emma stared at the two of them. Pirate? She squinted her eyes, staring at the man. She had no idea who he was. “Sorry, no idea, don’t care, honestly.”

He sauntered up beside her, dropping an arm around her shoulder. “Perhaps you know me by my more colorful moniker, Hook. Captain Hook?”

She grabbed his hand and plucked it off her shoulder. “Delightful and also ridiculous, but Sorry haven’t a clue who you are, don’t care for fairytales.”

“Never wanted to be a princess then, love?” His arm now sliding down around her waist.

She grabbed him by the hand, twisted in his grasp and pushed him to the ground, whipping his wrist behind his back. “I told you, I’m not interested.”

He laughed. “You sure about that, love.”

She leaned closer to his ear. “You couldn’t handle it.” With one sweep he wrapped his leg around her and flipped them over, his body pressing into hers.

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.” His tongue clicking in her ear. In an instant her body caught fire at the tone of his voice, and the feel of his body on hers.

Asshole.

Her knee met his groin in a fury, and she felt him tense above her, rolling to his side with a loud groan. “Bloody minx.”

She stood up and peered down at him. “You deserved that.” She looked back at Ruby who was in the midst of a giggling fit. “Let’s get out of here.”

The girl wrapped her arm around Emma’s waist. “You are going to be so fun to hang around.” She laughed. “I bet you are amazing in bed.” Emma glanced sideways at her, not sure if she was hitting on her or just making a remark. “Would be worth a week in solitary to find out.”

Yep, definitely flirting with her. This place was going to be interesting.

[fallen029]

Festive

Laxus boots crunched under the snow and he regarded the same as he did every year, a slight snarl on his lips as he spied not only the accumulation, but the godawful snowmen that people liked to roll up in their front lawns. It was all he'd been welcomed to, the second he stepped off the train at the city station, as well as annoying kids pelting one another with snowballs or adults skidding around as they tried to navigate the hellscape that was wintertime in Magnolia.

"You're a downer," Mirajane told him more than once when this yearly attitude of his whipped up, a sentiment that was echoed bravely by her siblings now, knowing that now counted among his siblings as well (at least by marriage), they were above reproach. "And one day you're going to regret that."

"What you gonna do?" he'd retort back, not only in those instances, but when the woman complained about his attitude in similar situations. While there were many things she loved her dragon for, his inability to not easily play into a situation was not one of them. "Curse me, demon?"

"Maybe," she toy back and if he wasn't really feeling so lowly, just annoyed or purposely up playing his attitude, he might give her a grin back for that one, but during the winter?

Under these situations?

No fucking way.

"You're a realist," Freed offered him more than once. And he said it in such an admiring way. With a sharp nod and such honest insistence that it was hard to combat him. "You have difficulty placating the easily amused. Your interests are not swayed by the fanciful and bright. It is not a blight; rather a mark of a true, serious mage. If you are not that, then what are you?"

A sourpuss. Crank. Hardass.

"A jerk," Lisanna offered him, in a way only she could, as though he hated it so much, maybe she was his younger sister now, poking at his cheek one night when she was drunk and so was he. She pressed her finger deeply into his cheek, leaning over the table they were at to do so, much to the wide eyes of the nearby (and sober) Lucy and excitement of Natsu. But Lisanna held none of the fear or exhilaration of her friends, rather sneering in the guildhall she'd grown up, at the man who knew it still much better than she, "You're a jerk, Laxus Dreyar."

This was hardly a revelation.

He'd been one his entire life.

Save the few short years in the beginning there, perhaps the crux of why he, in the end, did become a flat out jerk, Laxus had pretty always encompassed that stigma. His family name bared heavy weight and he shoulder it best he could, but that meant sacrificing a huge part of himself in the process. He liked to think of himself as a mostly changed man now, but his stick in the mud, aversion to (others) nonsense had followed him into his later years and now, a fully grown married man, he found it too hard to shake.

It was his shtick, maybe, his placement in his family and friend groups, and it hardly bothered him most of the time. A sense of pride. Like Freed had insisted to him. He was a serious man and there was something to be said for that. The rune mage himself could be classified as one at times.

And yet, Freed also knew when to turn it off.

He could don a silly costume for the Fantasia Parade. Drink coco and reminisce towards the end of the year, trade gifts on sentimental holidays. Turn it on. When he needed to. In a way that Laxus had never learned to.

They all could. All of them. In the hall. Even the gruffest among them, with the most tragic and horrific of backstories, could squash their traumas and beefs for their friends and guild in the rare times of true kinship. Celebrations of the important things in life, holy events observed by even outsiders to their intended recipients, they could all get a teary eye out of the most seasoned wizard.

Laxus though, he always found these emotions too far out of his grasp. He'd done well to wiggle away from his natural aggravation toward these events, hoping for anything more from the man was shitting away desires. He never had those hopes for himself and, for the most part, others didn't have them for him either.

The demon though…

She was always and optimist.

Or at least she was now.

She'd gone through her own trials and tribulations, only to come out not a buried person, but rather a different one. And Laxus respected that. Fuck, he loved that. He loved her. But sometimes...he just couldn't indulge her in the way she wanted.

And that was fine. Maybe. Other than throwing around threats of curses or humorous jabs, Mira mostly left him alone in his misery. It was what Makarov instructed her to do, that first Winter Festival that she was dating his grandson and had come to him, dismayed over his lack of interest in the festivities.

"Master told me all about it, Laxus," she'd come to him, all weepy and shit, launching herself at him the second he opened his apartment door to her urgent knocking. Sniffling as she nuzzled her head into his chest and the man just tried to figure out what the hell was going on, Mira said, "About your father and mother and how they treated you, you know, during that terrible winter when they were getting a divorce and I just-"

"Mira," he complained, patting awkwardly at her head. "Why the hell were you talking about that with Gramps?"

"Because you're miserable, Laxus." Blinking back her tears, she stared up at him then with her bright blue eyes uncharacteristically clouded with concern. "I always thought you were just distant around this time because you didn't have someone in your life to force you to be better. And then I thought I was failing or something, at making you happy. But now I know that you're just sad and hurt and-"

"My parents were fucking shit all the time, Mira."

"L-Laxus." She frowned then, pulling away from him some. "Don't be vulgar."

"They're my parents," he pointed out. Shrugging some as he only moved to pull the woman further into the apartment, he questioned, "What'd the old man tell you, huh? 'bout the time my mom locked me outta the house? In the snow? And Gramps was outta town and I sat outside the locked house cryin', all fuckin' nigh, in the snow? Or no, I bet he told you 'bout the time that my father decided to fuck with me, because I was a shitty little kid, and used his magic to trick me into thinking the snowman I built came to life? Attacked me? That was fucked up. Or how about the Winter Festival where they-"

"Laxus-"

"Let's talk about the Fantasia Parade. All the times they promised to be in it, to be there, even, just fucking be there, for the Harvest Festival, but never showing up. Never being around. Or oh, you wanna get into birthdays, demon?"

"I-I mean if you need to-"

"I don't." And he told her this flatly, frowning as he spoke. "And you don't need to go and talk to Makarov about it. About me. To find out why I'm the way I am. I just fucking am. Just like you just fucking are the way you are. And I don't ever want to have this fucking conversation again, alright?"

Mira nodded then, in agreement, but he didn't rightly mean it as much as he thought he did, after only a few months of dating. As the years waged on and the relationship deepened, it was his grandfather telling all of his darkest secrets, but rather the man mentioning them, either in passing or bearing his soul, openly, whenever they lounged together.

It was a lot.

Sometimes.

The things that made his shoulders tense all these years or his jaw clench so heavily, sometimes, when he got to thinking too much, got too quiet, and she knew how to get it out of him. Or she learned. Eventually.

She was able to drag most things from her dragon, the demon was, and yet…

He just wasn't someone who had the spirit. For the season. For any season. Time was elusive to the traveling mage and he was around more now, a married man, settled down all he could, but that didn't mean that he'd adjusted fully. Given up fully.

But...if it meant so much to her, he'd be around. For the important things. Maybe not enjoying them, but he'd be there. He came to the parades and the festivals when he could, always around for the demon's birthday and his own, if only because she seemed to enjoy it so much more, when it was about him. He spent time with her family and brought them into the fold with his own, Gramps and the Thunder Legion.

Holidays had meaning again. In a weird way.

Just not enough for him to get over his...hangups.

So no.

Laxus wasn't in a jolly mood, as he walked through the city that afternoon, observing in passing the sights and sounds of the approaching Winter Festival, thoughts of his own drifting to the presents he'd have to get and even dreading, perhaps more, the ones he'd receive in return. The long parade and the huge jobs he'd be passing over, just to stay at home.

All while dealing with the frigid temperatures, threat of blizzards, and, every fucking year, snowmen.

Fucking snowmen.

The years had been kind to the S-Class wizard and it wasn't a tiny apartment anymore, that he had eventually asked the demon to move into him with, but rather a rather nice home they owned together, he liked to think, with a big tree in the yard for climbing and a nice front porch for a dog to lounge.

A home of an S-Class wizard.

"Papa!"

But also a family.

Laxus smiled some, as he came up the shoveled walk of his home, being greeted by a loud call of his name as well as someone rushing right over to toss their arms around his waist and he was still getting used to it. The feeling. His daughter was only three and was growing every single day. While the warmth of her hug was something he was accustomed to, it was still refreshing, every time he was away for a week or more, to see how her speech had grown or notice she'd grown a bit a more.

And she had a lot to tell him that day, as Laxus ruffled her white locks, the little girl abandoning the piles of snow she'd been pushing together, as she tugged at his hand to finish tugging him up to the house.

Mirajane was with her, of course, as well as Lisanna, both giggling at the girl's action, but following all the same, the old dog up on the porch, who did find that he loved to lounge there, stretching before rushing to get in just as the door to the house closed.

Everyone told Laxus that he took to being a father better than they thought he would.

This was something that was mostly said in pretend awe, but he could tell it was actually absolute mystification. People that he'd known in his former life, the one before he settled, had never pictured him as more, he imagined, than his stupid deadbeat father and hey, he'd fucking give it to them.

There was still time.

He'd always taken it for fucking granted. How easy it must be. To fucking leave your kid behind. Just walk out the door. Forget about them. Put them away. Like he did all his memories or the people that used to work in the bar, used to be a part of the guild, when he was a kid. His fucking parents both walked out at him, at different points, his mother before he knew what it him, when he was still cute and lovable, his father when he had a chance to know him, really know him, and hate him.

Laxus couldn't imagine either now though.

He thought, sometimes, when he was drunk and reflective, that his father had it easiest. He knew his son was a shithead and took off. Okay. But other times, when he was sad and remorseful, he thought about how his mother must've had it the easiest, right? She must've. Because she could still keep him there, he figured she still kept him there, wherever she was all these decades later, imaging him as whatever she needed, whenever she needed, and he was still a kid probably, in her mind. A little boy waiting for her. Sitting up for her. Thinking of her often.

He didn't imagine either of them slept well, when they thought of him, but then, he didn't imagine either did often enough for it to give them any real problems.

But it was so fucking weird.

So fucking weird.

The first time he looked down at his daughter, all covered in gunk from birth, a disgusting, distorted version of a little human, an aliens, really, that was breathing and crying and...his.

None of it made sense any more.

And it made even less as time went on.

He'd been able to rationalize his childhood, all of it, as just something that happened. His life in the guildhall was filled with kids who had parents that just didn't given enough of a fuck about them. It was a tale as old as time. He'd normalized this type of thing so easily due to his upbringing and yet…

Yet…

It killed him to go away on jobs, knowing he was coming back, that he was certainly, without a doubt coming back. And one day, he imagined, when she was strong enough to keep up on her own, when she had her own magic, he wouldn't be without her.

She'd be out there with him.

On jobs.

Probably.

He liked to think anyways.

"I think someone missed you," Mira giggled to him as they all ditched their snowy coats and boots by the door, Lisanna bending down to help her niece out of her own. "Dragon."

"Yeah, well," he grumbled a bit as he looked over his wife, taking in how she'd changed too, even just in that a few days, her form had changed, just a bit, as she edged deeper into her second pregnancy. "Maybe I missed someone too."

He was down for the month, at least, as they cycled through the ceremonial events of the Winter Festival and it's accompanying celebrations. Laxus was welcomed to all that coco drinking and reminiscing, but now with his daughter as they traded her usual bedtime stories in for winter themed ones, him even donning the matching set of pajama pants that his demon had purchased, to go along with hers and the girl's.

Family time was all he had time for, it seemed, as the Thunder Legion was around most days, alternating ones they weren't with Mira's siblings, and Laxus bared it all with ease.

He'd had a few years now of learning to do so.

The morning of the Winter Festival, Mira had to get down to the bar to prep for things there and Laxus made a big breakfast for his daughter, back at home, as she dreamed so heavily then, so close then, of the gifts her aunts and uncles would be presenting her with, for being so good all year long. He played along, even playing coy as to what he and her mother had gotten her.

"What do you think you got?" she asked him over their food, staring at him with the same deep, blue eyes of her mother. "Papa?"

"Mmm," he hummed, "I dunno."

She giggled at that, as she had the past few days, when she asked the same thing, and he imagined she'd gotten him something nice. Err, well, that her mother had and she knew about it. That was how it had been, after all, the other two years. Mira was such a sap, when she'd get him something, she'd put the baby's name as well and last year, even, she'd drawn a little picture on his card.

It was cute.

He was a father now, he could admit when things should be classified in such a way.

Mira was busy all festival. She was for all of them. They saw her at the parade, at least, and their daughter clung in her arms until it started before being sat on her father's shoulder, and it snowed that night.

Something that his wife thought made it special, as it hadn't on that specific night in years, and Laxus was glad to leave everyone else behind at the bar that night, him carrying the gifts his daughter had scored, while she stayed snuggled up in her mother's arms, nearly asleep by the time they arrived home.

"I'd almost just wanna put her to bed," Mira remarked softly as their faithful mutt didn't even rise to greet them, as they entered their home, "but still need to give her-"

"Wanna give Papa his present," came a soft, muffled protest from Mira's shoulder where the girl's head was still pressed, but her eyes were open now, bleary and tired. "Mama."

"Well-"

"Here, let's do it then, huh?" Laxus dropped her other little trinkets and toys by the couch before going to snag his daughter from Mira's arm. Helping her out of her coat, he said, "Let's all trade our gifts. You won't believe what I got ya, demon."

Considering with her strong snooping skills, this was probably false, he knew, as she had a tendency to spoil such things for herself long before the suspenseful date. As she feigned surprise at the earrings that her husband and daughter had gifted her (because fine, Laxus was a sap too and signed her name as well), his wasn't so put on as he found himself presented with not one, but two gifts.

Mira had gotten him some nice, new boots she'd seen him eye for a long time, but would never justify buying, but while he was thankful for them, it wasn't what would capture his full attention that night.

"You bought this for me?" he asked his daughter from his chair as, when she presented him with a wrapped gift, it was with bright eyes and a snuggle, when he pulled her into his lap. "Huh?"

Shaking her sleepy head, she only yawned some as she informed her father, "Made it."

"You?" He nuzzled his head into hers as she yawned, heavily, and nodded.

"Me," she assured him. "Papa."

"How did I know," Mira was musing over at the mirror in the hall, where she was looking over where her earrings now were placed, in her lobes, "to wear this exact dress? To match these? Must have been meant to be."

"Yeah, must've," Laxus retorted with a roll of his eyes, but he was busy then, ripping at the haphazard wrapping job his daughter had done, still uncertain as to what he was expecting to find.

It was strange.

Laxus didn't particularly like gifts. Even things he needed or wanted. There was something false about it, to him, a disconnect. Saving up something for someone for some specific date that only had as much meaning as you could manage to give it. And, as mentioned previously, he struggled to scrounge much up at all. He went along because other people did and that was good and well, but…

"Wow," he whispered as he was presented with children's construction paper, stapled together neatly (no doubt by her mother) to form a little book with a title of 'Me and Papa' written, also, in her mother's handwriting, and this would be true of the other few sentences he'd find inside. But the pictures were the main draw. "You drew all of these?"

"Yep!" And she was forcing some excitement then, fighting back a yawn as he flipped very slowly through the pages. "Me!"

It wasn't like it was a story or anything. Just pictures that she'd drawn, hard to decipher to an untrained eye, but Laxus was becoming well-versed in the world of toddler art. And...Mira's sentences helped a bit. They described the scene, in most cases.

They were drawings of things they'd done. Him and his daughter. Together. Going to get ice cream. Going to the store. Playing with the dog. Reading books. Drinking coco. Nothing special. He'd gotten drawings from her before, frequently, her scribbling going to something (only slightly) more substantial recently, and while he treasured them in one sense, he knew that it really didn't mean much.

But this…

It wasn't about the little book, which Laxus would now carry with him, when he traveled out on jobs, placing it in the waterproof pocket of his pack, to look over when he was far from home and missing his baby. It was about something much greater. Something he thought he was void of. Hadn't experienced in a long time.

She'd been young.

The first winter. Oblivious. And the last, though she was old enough to at least some what enjoy it, there was still a bit distance in this.

Now was different. Not really one that she'd remember, necessarily, but certainly part of the beginning of her memories. A piece of understanding. A start.

For the entire day, Laxus had had this...bubbling in his stomach, like when he was a little kid, seeing it all again. The parade and the games. The party at the hall. And now, at home, trading gifts, her actively doing so with him…

He laughed, shoulder dropping as he openly smiled down at his grinning daughter. She leaned up to kiss him and his smiled brighter, if it was possible, his clear joy causing Mira to come over finally. It wasn't lost on the slayer either, as she leaned over his chair, that by this time next year, he'd be able to start the process all over again, only with more knowledge this time.

"It's cute," Mira agreed, thinking his interest was mainly in the gift itself and while Laxus could agree, it was something much more that was causing him to nod his head as he beamed down at his daughter.

"Yeah," he agreed. "It is."