#again i'm really not trying to make this like a commentary on capitalism
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
dreamlandiasims · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hi! Updated post is here! Transcript and more under the cut:
previous | next
The Reddit post:
Tumblr media
I am very open to feedback on whether I've changed enough to address the issue of Anti-Semitic tropes that was brought up previously. If anyone is still concerned or bothered by this post, please let me know!!
Transcript:
Cahill: You kids are messing everything up, I hope you know that. I’m done, I’m retired, I don’t get involved anymore. But… access to alien tech, knowledge, resources, in the hands of Agnos… shit.
Frankie: What is so special about this one company?
Cahill: Agnos is… more than just a company. They have a frightening amount of influence in the business world. Agnos is a matriarchy, captained by Oasis Springs’ very own Nancy Landgraab. Maybe you’ve heard of her?
Frankie: I thought she was in real estate.
Cahill: She’s got a lot of fingers in a lot of pies, let’s say.
Saf [reading from her computer]: “Landgraab founded Agnos with her business partner Nick Altos, but eventually forced him out and took over the helm solo. To protect her claim on the company, she recruited her closest friends and allies to the board, including other prominent celebrities and champions of business, like Katrina Caliente, Lily Feng, and Mortimer and Bella Goth. They claims to be “pushing the limits of scientific advancements” for the “good of all Simkind”, but it’s all bullshit.”
Cahill: They don’t care what new medicine or technology they discover, only that they do it before anyone else.
Frankie: Ok, I’m getting the picture. But what does this have to do with us?
Cahill: Well, Agnos has a history of looking the other way while their subsidiaries and contractors conduct research in a… less than ethical fashion.
Saf: Shit, Frankie… You might’ve been right…
Cahill: I imagine we’ve got such a situation here, with BioSim Tech.
Erwin: So when people in town go missing, they become the lab’s unwilling research subjects.
Cahill: Well, that’s my hunch at least. But I—what are you doing?
Frankie: Answering a phone call?
Cahill: Wrong. You’re exposing us all to the possibility of being compromised. From now on we need to operate as if they are listening to every conversation. That means no texts, no calls, no emails… nothing.
Frankie: Are you kidding me? No way.
Erwin: Frankie, he’s right.
Frankie: … Ugh, fine. [under her breath] I’m sorry, Saf…
[Frankie’s Voicemail]: Hi, this is Frankie’s phone…
Saf: What the hell?
Frankie: So… what now?
Cahill: Now… I suppose I help you kids get back into that goddamn lab.
29 notes · View notes
horizon-verizon · 8 months ago
Text
On this here day, GRRM wrote an entry clarifying several things about the dragon lore in his novels, and it vindicates so many Dany stans/Daenerys as the Azor Ahai:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Saying dragon "mysteries", in-world, will be revealed in the last two books AND Septon Barth got a lot right. I'm taking that to mean that dragons change sex (Viserion, here you come, baby!), like two particular Twitter mutes I have (danylanzhou and Branwynwitch). It also seems like he's confirming that dragons and the first 40 Valyrian families (which include the Targs, then and now) mixed dragon blood with their own in some long past ancient event AND that only these families, therefore, can bond with dragons to rides them safely or befriend them.
Which means Nettles is definitely of Valyrian/Targ-descent, which really should have been obvious. One of my mutuals also asserted that this makes the idea of Nettles-Sheepstealer/Rhaena-Morning being interchangeable for their supposed HotD merging GRRM-disapproved bc he makes a point to say that dragons don't tend to move far from their lairs that are usually very high up in mountains and volcanos. Sheepstealer can't be going to the Vale while having a lair in Dragonstone:
Tumblr media
As for the thought of Sunfyre flying miles to get to Dragonstone...this is where he/they were born and where the real magic that sustains dragons is coalesced from hundred of years. It makes sense for him/them to fly to this castle even if Aegon weren't there after he had been bodied by Meleys/Meleys & Vhagar, looking for recovery. This is where the Targs get most of their eggs/dragons and it is near where most dragons in Westeros make their lairs.
Note that he says, in the very last paragraph, how:
Fantasy needs to be grounded.  It is not simply a license to do anything you like. Smaug and Toothless may both be dragons, but they should never be confused. Ignore canon, and the world you’ve created comes apart like tissue paper.
It appears he is VERY not happy about something to do with dragons in the show's second season, how they bond in the show, how a certain dragon is "explained" to have traveled a too-long distance for a certain pale-locked young girl who has been trying to hatch her own dragon for years...I see you GRRM, fighting for Nettles AND Rhaena I see.
Oh, and just bc he said he liked epi 2, doesn't mean that he cannot critique anything about HotD ever again...he is the writer and creator of this universe that they are capitalizing on. As long as a writer of any genre stays logically consistent and relatively undiscriminatory in their original writing, they definitely can tell any of us readers what is real and not real or possible in their own creations! That this is even up for debate is a travesty to logic.
Mind you, this is the same man who said the show and the book are two separate canons AND that adaptations "nowadays" tend to fail bc the adapters think they can make the story "better" and ignore critical lore details. And in his latest commentary on HotD's S2 first two episodes, he says, and I quote:
“Rhaenyra the Cruel” has been getting great reviews, for the most part.   A lot of the fans are proclaiming it the best episode of HotD, and some are even ranking it higher than the best episodes of GAME OF THRONES.   I can hardly be objective about these things, but I would certainly say it deserves to be in contention.   The only part of the show that is drawing criticism is the conclusion of the Blood and Cheese storyline.   Which ending was powerful, I thought… a gut punch, especially for viewers who had never read FIRE & BLOOD.   For those who had read the book, however… Well, there’s  a lot of be said about that, but this is not the place for me to say it.   The issues are too complicated.   Somewhere down the line, I will do a separate post about all the issues raised by Blood and Cheese… and Maelor the Missing.  There’s a lot to say.
Note that the latest post was about epi4 and this one I just linked is only abt epi 1 &2....so where are his thoughts for the hated/comedic epi3?! (we see each other, George). (BTW, I gave my thoughts on his thoughts about 1 & 2, HERE.)
I'll say it once again: though GRRM praised the portrayal of grief, defended Cheese being lost, and loved the dog (the last I don't fault anyone for, I also loved them) in the Blood & Cheese episode, he also expressly talks AROUND how Blood & Cheese and Helaena actually interacted and comments on the Maelor-lessness (therefore the lack of Sophie's Choice) that many people--inclu myself--have been saying was a huge problem.
Now we have two different sources that seem to support the ideas of:
GRRM both not being as "involved" with the actual writing of this show for a bit AND not approving of a lot of critical changes
HotD's writers cannot create anything truly "canon" or "real/true" for this universe, it only can make any sort of "sense" if it also retrieves information from the original tale, which is not really just F&B but THE ENTIRE SET OF AVAILABLE BOOKS!
175 notes · View notes
ohsunnyboy · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
never again | yoon keeho ˚₊‧⁺˖
you don't know what's cuter. you're boyfriend, lee keeho, or the delusion that the leafs will win the cup in either of your lifetimes.
TAGS: established relationship, toronto leafs fan!keeho, boston bruins fan!reader, screaming and shouting at a tv screen, fluff, maple leafs hockey is its own tw, drinking games!! keeho is lowk ooc
A/N: based off this iconic video. game 6 changed my brain chemistry and gave me hope until... well iykyk... here's the match recap. this is so niche it's entirely self indulgent sorry in advance lmao
WORDS: ~1000
Tumblr media
If you're going to be a hockey fan, you should know the number one rule: don't date within the division.
The notorious ad aside, it's pretty clear, once it gets to playoffs with you two, everything's off the table. Especially if you're throwing couch cushions across the room when you're team can't convert on a power play. Cough, the leafs, cough.
Which made it especially weird when you, a Boston Bruins fan ended up dating Yoon Keeho, a fucking Toronto Maple Leafs fan.
"Oh my god are the refs blind?! That's clearly a holding call!" he cries. Ah, it really doesn't get sweeter than this.
"Shut up, he just boarded Lohrei with that! Penalty for both of them," you snarl out, eyes fixated on the tv screen, watching the play-by-play slo-mo of the hit. Lohrei crumpling against the boards as Holmberg practically folds him. "Look! They're not even calling it. Did you see Carolina yesterday? they were calling everything that breathed wrong."
With a sigh, both you and Keeho take a shot. At this rate, you both could be professional alcoholics with how many missed penalty calls there've been this series. You can already feel the regret in the morning trying to sink in with this drinking game.
Keeho hums beside you, but he's been practically vibrating out his skin the entire game. "That's just Svechnikov no? He's massi—OH MY GOD WILLIAM NYLANDER YOU SWEDISH BEAUTY!"
The screen erupts as Nylander finally opens the scoring for the Leafs. A sea of horrific blue and white exploding into cheers. Idly, you think it's the most lively you've seen Scotiabank Arena in years.
"Ugh, really?" And you just have to flop back into the couch corner as Keeho takes his victory lap around the room. Dressed in, of course, his Nylander jersey.
"Oh yeah baby! I could marry that man," he laughs, before very comically and somehow very seriously turning back to you. "After you, babe. Of course after you, love of my life, angel of my univer-"
You hurl one of your last pillows at him. "Sit back down, idiot." The high flush on his face is pretty adorable, even if his alcohol breath stinks when he curls in next to you on the couch. Both of you are going to be crawling out of bed tomorrow for sure.
From above and below your small apartment you can hear the same screams. With the window propped open, you can even hear horns go off in the streets. Capital of Hockey and all that. Moving here to be with Keeho had been hard to do, but so much more worth it for the hockey. Especially when Boston comes rolling into town: being the only Bruins fan for rows on rows was intimidating but so much sweeter if they won.
"I'm your idiot, idiot," he croons into your neck. Peppering you with cute and sloppy kisses across your skin. You finger's curl idly into his hair as you watch the ads spin by on the tv, signalling the end of the second period. His cold fingertips curl around your waist, idly smoothing circles into it. Curled up like this, it's the cosiest you could ask for - and somehow you don't mind the lack of pillows. You both make up for it with your shared body heat.
Carefully, you extract your phone from under him like he's a jenga tower about to fall, but game-drunk like this, he could probably sleep through the Leafs Stanley cup parade if they did win for once.  
Twitter's the same as you left it: another TicTacTOmar clip of Lohrei and Holmberg, more Steve Dangle commentary and your Boston moots crowing about how the Leafs will lose it in the third period. Very, very secretly, you don't think they will. Swayman vs Woll as goalies are brilliant – and terribly good looking – but it must be the phase of the moon or something stupid, but Toronto might just win it this game.
Looking down at your sleeping beauty, Keeho is blissfully passed out on your chest. Face semi-flushed, mouth agape and drool leaking out. Yeah, this is going in the camera roll.
A quick snap and a venture into your settings is all it takes to set the glorious picture as your lock screen. And, if you squint, you can see Draisaitl's neon orange Skip ad in the background. Exactly why you're dating him in the first place.
"You really are my idiot, idiot," you murmur and you press a kiss to his hairline, a warm feeling roiling in your stomach.
Stashing your phone away, you ready yourself with a minute on the clock until the third starts. Saying that, you should really wake sleeping beauty up. "Hey... hey, get up. The Leafs lost in overtime again."
His eyes blink blearily as he processes your words. Slowly, then all at once, you can see the panic settle into his eyes as he sees your shit-eating grin. “No they didn't,” he whispers, but it borders on desperate.
You really can't help yourself. "Yup! There was even a line brawl," you sigh dramatically, bringing your hand to your forehead with a flair. "Swayman was even fighting Woll, a whole goalie scrap and you missed it."
"Nope! Not believing it." Keeho finally has the common sense to turn to look at the screen and realise the third's just begun. The stare of disappointment he gives you is cold enough to give Winnipeg a run for its money. "Never again."
You roll your eyes but just pat the space next to you for him to settle down properly on. "C'mon, whoever loses this has to get breakfast."
“You’re so on,” he huffs to agree, taking a bodily effort to sit back against the couch and on your cold feet. There’s a fire in his eyes that makes you regret this already. “I’m so making you drive to Timmy’s.”
Deep in your heart, if you had to choose Boston or Toronto to win the cup, you'd still choose Boston. But no matter how this series ends, you'd still love your boyfriend very, very much.
Tumblr media
if this in any way endeared you to hockey come check my sideblog @wannadewar where i lament and fangirl! if you somehow enjoyed this, a like or reblog would be lovely :) ⭒ masterlist
45 notes · View notes
calicohyde · 5 months ago
Note
This is a bit of a weird question, but you're the only one I know about who regularly posts about pirates of any kind (admittedly on your other blog) so I figured I'd ask you: what's some stuff you'd want to see more of in pirate fiction? I'm fucking around with a pirate AU for one of my projects and that made me curious - @transman-badass
TL;DR bullet point lists, bolding for emphasis
Necessities:
even if not going for historical accuracy, make sure character designs accurately represent the setting
queer pirates, in particular trans/GNC pirates
POC (Pirates of Color), in particular Black and Indigenous pirates
pirates with body types befitting their lifestyle
religious diversity
Why did you pick pirates if you're not...
commentating on capitalism, colonialism, class, and "crime"
incorporating pirate legends/superstitions in some way
see above points about diversity
Things I personally want to see:
revisit points on diversity again
antivillains
dramatic irony
song and dance
vulgarity
narrative questions built to have no answers
a wider variety of genres; instead of sticking to action/adventure, fantasy, and romance, try a slasher, slice of life, or heist (etc)
More detail on these points + unintentionally effusive praise for Pirates of The Caribbean and Black Sails under the cut.
This is a bit of a (perhaps?) unexpected answer, but my favorite pirate media (that I remember rip) is actually the original PotC trilogy!
While I love the explicit queer representation in Black Sails and OFMD, as well as the political thriller aspect and social realism + commentary of Black Sails, and I'd obviously love to see more of that, they lack some things the first three PotC movies have that I just really fucking love. I don't think any of them are exclusive to pirates necessarily, but I do think a lot of them are particularly well suited to them, and in some ways when they're not incorporated I personally feel like something is missing.
The og PotC trilogy does have its own political aspect and commentary, it's just a bit less confrontational than BS. I wouldn't say it's so subtle as to be a subplot though, it's still a - if not Thee - primary driving factor to the overall narrative and its plot. In my opinion, no pirate media is complete without some aspect of anticapitalist/anticolonialist/antiassimilationist sentiment at its foundation, even if the pirates are not necessarily heroic or righteous - or are downright wicked (derogatory) - in any other way. Pirates make for the perfect antiheroes, antivillains, and villain protagonists, and the latter two are far less explored than the former. And truly what is the point of having a character cast of primarily career thieves if not to say some type of something about the constructs of money and crime?
Another thing is the incorporation of traditional pirate legends/superstitions! I certainly will not be able to find it at will, but there is a post on this site that I wholeheartedly agree with about how cool it is that PotC has a different set of accepted realities depending on who's territory the story is in - i.e. pirate legends are true when the characters are where there be pirates, but aren't on colonial land. There are also pockets of extra depth to the story and characters that only really occur to you if you look at the work through the eyes of someone who exists within the pirates' world, such as Elizabeth's Kiss of Death At Sea.
It also of course ties in perfectly with the allegory; the further colonialism/capitalism spreads -> the smaller pirate habitat shrinks -> the less magic there is/the more reality is confined to only what Is and can no longer extend to what Could Be, shown most directly by the beached Kraken and Jack's response of "The world's still the same [size], there's just less in it." Which in that particular context also reinforces the above highlighted built-in moral ambiguity/acknowledgement of the beauty and necessity of things that may harm you (or pose a challenge to your conquering power), in that only the movie before the Kraken was a direct threat to Jack, and in fact literally killed him, but he still recognizes its extermination as both an indication of worse to come and as a tragedy in its own right. Also shown really well in how an "incorrect" pirate-drawn map can get you places that, when using an "accurate" colonial-standard map, don't exist. And how Beckett can't get Jack's magic compass to work for him even though he knows what it's supposed to do, only a pirate (or pirate-to-be like Norrington) can use it. The Power of Belief in this way is and always will be my number one homie. I got slightly off topic and just started talking about PotC. Anyway.
The dual accepted realities allow for really great dramatic irony as well. Gods and monsters and cursed treasure and impossibly fast and unsinkable ships and the undead are all real, and the audience knows all that based merely on the setup, but to the characters it's a shocking twist. Black Sails has some dramatic irony that I really love as well. The audience knows that Black Sails is a Treasure Island prequel, and they know the culmination of the featured historical events, but the characters don't. I eat that shit up and it's fucking delicious every time. And I also love that good good opposite of dramatic irony in these too, where the audience will never know something the characters do. BS does it through a well crafted metafiction narrative and unreliable narrators. "A story is true, a story is untrue," and this story acknowledges itself as a story - one told by conquerers, liars, visionaries, and warrior poets. We will never know what "really" happened, and we're not meant to.
Anyway even if pirate legends aren't real or *shrug emoji* in-universe, I again think pirate media is incomplete if a few aren't textually present in some other way.
Back to representation stuff. As I said, while Black Sails and OFMD have it pretty good, there should be way more queer pirates, and in particular trans/gender-nonconforming pirates. I'd specifically like to see a portrayal of Mary/Mark Read as being trans/fluid/whatever, rather than "disguised" or "mistaken" as a man (if the piece features historical figures). Equally so, there needs to be way more racial diversity in pirate media, in particular Black and Indigenous pirates. Probably most of the famous Captains you could name off the top of your head were white Englishmen, but there's a lot of evidence that a high percentage of pirates were not. So tbh I think this is less of a "feels" incomplete thing and more of an IS incomplete thing.
Likewise, there should be more body diversity and religious diversity. These things are obviously inaccurate and a Choice to exclude anywhere, but again imo an extra level of dumbassery to exclude from a pirate thing. Model/movie star body types should be rare; we need to be looking at athletes and laborers when designing Golden Age sailors. We need to be taking into account the available medicine of the time period and the lasting consequences thereof, as well as more of the (known) cultural ideas about body differences, neurological differences, sickness, and death. And as for religion, there seems to be vast swathes of people who think once upon a time everyone was either a Christian (be that Good or Bad) or a Savage (whether Noble/Mystic or not). And that is SO deeply fucking annoying - to say it in the blandest, most diplomatic way possible lol.
Even if you're not going to go in for much historical accuracy, you're doing a fantastical/romanticized/comedic/etc version, or you're making a whole secondary world from scratch, you really should be figuring out what would be accurate to the conditions you create. If your piece takes place on a frigate sailing the open ocean in the tropics for long periods of time while the nearest land is being colonized by monarchic northerners in an approximation of the 17th century, the characters should reflect that just as much as the setting and plot.
Now for some things I wouldn't necessarily be disappointed about being absent, but that I would just be kinda jazzed to see. First: song, dance, storytelling, riddles, foul language, and bawdy jokes. This kind of goes hand in hand with the legends and all, but is an extra layer that isn't put on enough! PotC and OFMD have some song, and BS as already mentioned is pretty heavy on storytelling both diegetically and as a main theme. I just want more.
Second, I'd love to see a wider variety of genres. We're spoiled for pirate action/adventure, fantasy, romance/erotica, and coming of age. I want to see some scifi that isn't just pirates In Space (not that I have anything against pirates In Space or think it's not scifi Enough, but we're not starving for it). Pirate slasher. Pirate slice of life. Pirate whodunit. Pirate time travel. Pirate psychological thriller. Pirate disaster/post-apocalypse. Pirate slipstream/surrealism. Pirate heist!! Pirate procedural? somehow?? You get it.
I think I've talked enough now wkgoiuwksk.
19 notes · View notes
chameleonspell · 7 months ago
Text
HTDC commentary - 1: numb
[Looking back at HTDC after nearly ten years: comments on lore, character notes, influences, art, whatever. May contain spoilers for later chapters.]
chapter text: 1: numb
This chapter has had the most edits over time, as my writing skills increased, and I got ever more annoyed at the state of the opening, which ought not to be the worst writing in the fic, if I wanted anyone to stick around. It still needs work, but I was not made of infinite energy. I largely just tried to improve what was already there, rather than do what I really ought to have done, which is do some proper scene-setting. None of the early chapters have much in the way of description, especially of places. I was very much working on the principle that it was fanfic, and the whole point of fanfic was that I didn't need to do that. My assumed reader was intimately familiar with Seyda Neen, because my assumed reader was myself. I was absolutely writing only the bits I enjoyed writing, which was dialogue.
I'm still torn on the first paragraph, because in trying to make it more interesting, I mostly only succeeded in making it florid and purple. The reason I let it stand is because of a favourite excuse of mine for slightly ridiculous writing - it accurately reflects the mental state of the protagonist, i.e. tangled and confused. I will use this excuse again.
(See, maybe there's no description because Iriel's really out of it, and can't register anything! Bad writing is diegetic if the characters are having a bad time!)
Iriel was dragged
Not the exact wording of the original first-draft opening line, but I edited it in for symmetry, after I wrote the last words of the last chapter ("Iriel moved forwards").  Which was, according to an email I sent at the time, in June 2015, so less than three months after I wrote the first words? That seems crazy. I do remember writing a first draft of the ending chapter quite early on, but... that early? Gosh.
When I say I wrote the ending three months after the beginning, I mean that I ONLY wrote the ending. I then spent two more years, filling in the 198 chapters in between.
The contrasting significance of the beginning and ending lines was expanded from something Philip Pullman said about making sure the first and last words of His Dark Materials were both "Lyra", because it's her story, and she encompasses it.
the guard had seized the elf by his bony wrist
A running theme of Iriel's physical trauma triggers: grab him by the wrist and he's liable to shut down completely. A jail thing, of course - make sure the magic user can't cast spells.
His bare toes snagged between the planks of the jetty
Every time I read this, I flinch, and feel the exact sensation, because it is such a terrible, terrible sensation. I know I do worse things to Iriel later, but I might hate this one the most.
Oh gods. Come on, Ire.
Many people have told me they found they were pronouncing Iriel wrong, when they read him sound it phonetically in chapter 90: "Iriel. Eye-ree-el." I can see their point, but in that case, I want to know how they were pronouncing "Ire", the shortening he gives, right at the start! Which is an English word, pronounced like the Ire in Ireland, so I hoped that implied the pronunciation of Iriel
Regarding Iriel's name: I chose it because it was visually short, having a lot of long, thin letters in it, and I liked the symmetry of the capital I and the lower-case L at the end. The shortened version, Ire, is even more featherweight, barely more than a pronoun. This is a real boon for a protagonist name that's gonna turn up in almost every sentence - you can throw it in a lot, for clarity, and it doesn't look awkward. 
I think I found it in a name list on uesp.net, and I don't think it was specifically feminine-coded at the time? ESO was only just out, so I refuse to be blamed for things it added to canon, such as two female NPCs called Iriel. My personal headcanon is that it's a unisex Altmeri name and the first i is pronounced short when it's feminine, and long when it's masculine. In his not-strictly-canon tumblr bookclub with @quickchangeartist's OC Moraelyn, Iriel says of his name:
P.S. i rolled my eyes gently at your “dear little bird” bit, but did you actually know my name is avian-derived, or was that an adorable accident? an iriel is a very pretty but sadly extinct type of finch (I am less pretty, but also less dead, a condition with which i am (on good days) content.) My mother selected the name in order to make me more matrimoniably palatable to her bird-mad noble friend. So mercenary
Iriel’s eyes jittered from surface to surface. “I was in the hold! I didn’t see anything! I don’t know anything about boats! I mean, the sail’s clearly square-rigged, but a brig should have at least two masts, I really have no idea what you’d call it, I didn’t get a chance to examine, I… I was in the hold. I don’t know anything.
In draft one, all Ire said was that he didn't know anything about boats. Then I reread it later, when it had been established that Iriel's dad was a fisherman, Iriel knows how to sail a simple boat, has absorbed a fair amount of nautical terminology, and, in general, KNOWS ABOUT BOATS! Which, I have to warn you, from a writer's perspective, is a fucking terrible thing to have your character know about. The research is a nightmare. Never have a character know anything about boats!
Anyway, I decided it was much funnier if he reeled off a bunch of technical stuff about boats, while still claiming he didn't know anything about them, because... he's just that confused? His reflexive paranoid guilt makes him deny knowledge under questioning on general principle? He doesn't think of himself as someone who knows about boats, in comparison to his dad? Yes.
someone a head taller than he was
I forget at what point I established Iriel's precise height. He's 6'4", which is below average, for an Altmer, but tall for Morrowind, a shift of identity and perspective he never quite adjusts to.
“Oh. Well… my name is Iriel of Lillandril. Which is far too many Is and Ls in one name, and really, you’d think my parents would’ve known better. We Altmer use loconymics, as I’m sure you know, so–”
Again, I chose Lillandril more or less at random from the Summerset map, based on it having a lot of Is and Ls, which felt right, all tall and Altmery, and a little bit ridiculous. Say it three times fast and you're basically yodelling. Later, I established Lillandril as Fantasy Wales, accent-wise, which made it even better.
ESO might have since established something different with Altmer surnames, lore-wise, but I don't know or care. Loconymics (being named for the place you come from) seem the norm for Altmer in Morrowind, and I like that.
I made up "loconymic", though googling now, there are other uses. I probably should have used toponym, as loconym is a greek-latin mix, which is bad practice. But I wanted a word for "named after a place" where the meaning was easily inferrable, without knowing either Greek or Latin, and "locus" is more familiar from words like "location" than "topos" is. I was trying to keep my linguistic technobabble vaguely intelligible!
In the very first draft, Iriel claimed he was a foundling in this line mentioning his parents, which was my attempt to stick to the exact terms of the whole Morrowind "uncertain parentage" thing. But I very quickly retconned it, realising there was far more mileage in having Iriel know he was connected by blood to his parents, and all the Altmeri angst he has over that. Only the first of many, many in-game "facts" I decided to bend or outright contradict! But it took me a while to realise I was allowed to do that, now, that I didn't have to keep to canon, as long as everything hangs together. In this case, I justified it later, by saying that the Empire had recorded Iriel as having unknown parents, because that's what he told them when he was arrested, in a futile attempt to prevent his family finding out.
pale-gold Altmer face, amber eyes and soft brown hair.
I had read something that advised writers to give hot, fiery angry characters warm colouration, and cold, reserved characters cool colouration, and I thought that was stupid. Iriel's not exactly cold (just numb), but Altmer in general are seen as cold, especially in contrast to fire-themed Dunmer, and... anyway, I wanted a warm-toned Altmer, because why not? Amber eyes is pretty, but not extravagantly so. I didn't want him to be exceptional, in any way - he's someone who can easily vanish from sight and memory, after all. So, he gets the most "boring" hair colour, mouse brown, which I have a soft spot for.
@Sinilakki sent me a picture very soon after I posted this chapter, and I was delighted, because clearly my limited physical description had worked - it was perfect. My first ever picture of Iriel, and it's still one of my absolute favourites.
Tumblr media
“You are male, aren’t you? Hard to tell with you elves.” Ire racked his addled brain for the sort of lacerating response he would have given to that, in better days, but failed miserably.
The first thing to produce an actual spark of defiance in Iriel, even if he doesn't manage to act on it. Ire's experiences of Imperials having offensive ideas about elven gender will reoccur, once he's in a fit state to lecture about it.
Ire squeaked, and shifted as best he could, stumbling towards the door and struggling with the handle until it finally obeyed him.
All this is so early Pratchett, isn't it? Rincewind, but younger and gayer. Make a wet, nervous wizard and give him problems.
previous: 0: intro next: 2: labels
10 notes · View notes
transmutationisms · 2 years ago
Note
this isn’t rly a coherent point just a thought but i feel like the succession audience anon might be getting at the fact that the sociopolitical commentary of the show is lost as its audience increases? imo jesse’s political commentary is very clear but i also have my commie goggles on. but i know for a fact that the show is was not written nor marketed the way i’m consuming it. maybe jesse leans that way a bit but like he’s obviously descriptive and not prescriptive in his art so there’s that, and the constraints of tv are that it has to have broad enough appeal so you can’t be shoving your politics down the people’s throats necessarily. i think it is marketed to the brooklynite class you’re describing and i think they don’t fully get it and i also think as more people watch the more its themes are ignored in favor of stuff like omg who’d make the best successor, despite that not being what the show is about at all (also jesse has told us from day one who would make the “best” successor). idk like the people who get excited abt kendall becoming ceo you know? like omg it’s a win for him! like… are we watching the same show
ok i agree with a lot of this, and i am certainly also a known user of commie goggles lol. i think the fundamental limitation with the show is, like you said, that it's more interested in a descriptive mode than a prescriptive one, which means at its best it can nail character development and political satire, but it isn't really trying to offer any coherent alternative worldview. the portrayal of logan's gender / body politics is not flattering and doesn't flinch away from either the interpersonal trauma he inflicts on those around him or the broader political harm done by liberal capitalism; the show has also always been fairly sharp i think on the fascistic tendencies of capitalism and the way the latter turns into the former—again, shown both through logan's ideology of domination, social darwinist thinking, valorising certain types of bodies, etc, and through waystar's engagement with politics and politicians. however, i'd agree that this is all motivated by a description of the characters' worldviews and by satire of them, and we would probably see more of the cracks in the writers' and showrunners' politics if they tried to put forth some kind of more active alternative political platform.
that said, the fact that people miss these aspects of the show says as much to me about the political consciousness of viewers as it does about the intentionality of the writing. people with certain beliefs about masculinity are always going to watch 'fight club' and think tyler durden rules, no matter how effectively the critique is or isn't being made. similarly, people who think capitalism is a good or necessary system and doesn't derive value from fascism, or that succeeding in business is a matter of skill and mystical genius powers rather than a game of luck and accreting wealth, are always going to watch 'succession' and think that logan rules, or that the point is to identify the person who 'deserves' to take over waystar, or that capitalist electoral politics is a noble exercise in rhetoric that has simply been corrupted by a few evil apples, or what the fuck ever.
like, i'm not saying the writing is perfect or denying that it hits a wall in terms of actual radicalism. but i do think there are certain critiques the writers consistently and clearly make, often specifically via satire, that large swathes of the audience simply don't pick up on because they're approaching the text through their liberal capitalist ideological lens. you can see this, for example, in the journosphere's takes on the cruises storyline, which by and large completely failed to engage with the broader critique of capitalism as inherently producing death, exploiting bodies, and specifically preying on those deemed other or marginal—namely sex workers, migrants, women, etc. these points were very clearly made in the show and the meliorist viewpoint very clearly satirised (eg, in 'argestes'). ultimately, though, you can't rescue viewers from their own liberalism and you can't make them read the text from beyond those parameters. it's an issue of political consciousness, and although it can certainly be exacerbated by bad or milquetoast writing, even an explicitly radical piece of art will be interpreted through that liberal lens by people who are liberals (anyone remember the reviews of 'sorry to bother you'?)
i also would add that, in my opinion, this season has actually been more willing to overtly engage with the political threads than season 3. viewers can no longer hide behind the idea that the problem starts and ends with logan as an individual. matsson and his people have consistently been characterised as staking their own worth on their supposed biological superiority, with specific references to athletic ability, bodily strength, élite education that forms a class barrier, and the general idea of racial and genetic superiority ("nasdaq master race," "shallow end of the gene pool"). i'm aware there are many viewers, including on tumblr, who are not stringing these things together and seeing an overall discourse on capitalist eugenics and racism—but i do actually think that the satire here is being laid out pretty clearly in front of our faces. is this a show interested in exploring imaginative political alternatives? no, and you could convincingly argue on that basis that its fundamental stance is more self-satisfied snark than anything resembling actual leftist politics. i think, though, that this would be pretty evenly true since day 1, and that, at its best, the writing does hit on some key aspects of how capitalist spectacle functions, the power abuses it creates and enables, and how these things are inherent to capitalism writ large rather than being a unique pathology of the roys or waystar.
ultimately i love to see art that is actually communist / leftist in nature, is interested in alternatives to capitalism and ways out of our current political economic arrangement, etc. 'succession' is not that, clearly. part of the reason i do shit like blog about it is because it used to annoy me so much that no one was connecting certain more radical dots (like the obvious path from the show's historicised thinking -> a critique of capitalism as contingent) that are implied or allowed-for by the writing but never unpacked or explicated. so, often what interests me in the show is at least as much the lacunae left in the writing as the things it explicitly says. again, commie goggles. i also would tentatively agree with you that it's primarily marketed to people who are basically liberal and milquetoast, for reasons of profit motive, although again i honestly take in so little television advertising that i don't have much that's cogent to say about this angle of things lol.
i'm certainly not lying to myself that this show is any kind of radical statement of communist party values—i just also think that there are points of actually interesting satirical critique that the writers are very deliberate about, and that the guardian-new yorker-industrial complex is pretty much inherently going to miss these points or ignore them, for reasons that don't necessarily reflect one way or the other on the actual quality of the writing.
anyway, it was maybe goofy to write this out like an hour before the election episode airs, but these are certainly questions i will continue rotating after i see it lol.
81 notes · View notes
sclfmastery · 2 months ago
Note
i agree that "joy to the world" felt odd for various reasons -- Anita and the Doctor had more time together, both on screen and off, than the Doctor did with Joy, and it felt like they were better able to connect in that sense i was also thrown off by the reference to bethlehem at the end, as the rest of the ep felt only tangential to xmas (more of a winter-y type of special)
I think those are probably my main issues, too. And I'm all for wink-wink nudge-nudge jokes at the expense of any culturally hegemonic reference (including conventional Christianity), but this felt so peripheral, like you said, that it seemed almost kinda self-indulgent on the part of the creative team? I dunno, it was more distracting than clever or funny, at least to me.
I guess I'm just bummed out. I'm gonna ramble here, so feel free to check out, lol, but agh. I am not a Fifteen Era hater by any means. There were high points in Fifteen's first season (the episode where he's standing on a landmine the entire time and it's a farce on capitalism and war and cultural myth; the one called, I think, Dot and Bubble, exploring the probability of xenophobic herd thinking and racism even in the distant future, and so on), and I genuinely enjoyed it, and an episode doesn't always have to make ambitious social commentary like these examples do...after all, lmao, it's Doctor Who, it has to be a little bit silly always....but I feel very much like the cast is doing all they can with the writing and directing they're getting, and not totally able to clear the hurdle. I feel like it's a good sci fi fantasy show, but I'm not watching Doctor Who.
And I think I know why, and it's not for the reason that one might expect: I really think it comes down to individual creative ego, and to money. I think it comes down to not knowing a balance between continuity and reinvention.
I think RTD, Moffat, and co are eager to virtue-signal that they're the first group to let in a BIPOC Doctor (I know that sounds harsh and I'm sorry, again, I don't clear or totally discredit any of the showrunners, and I don't think I'm exempt of these problematic behaviors, either). I also think that, in wanting to be shiny and new, in wanting the franchise to survive a totally new generation (and a BROADER demographic) of viewers, as Disney+'s latest unique attraction (yeah, I know, BBC claims total "creative independence" from Disney, but who's buying that? Not I, lol)....the Fifteenth Doctor Era team is trying to make the show cooler, sleeker, more "palatable." And I'm like, to whom? There's an unusual break in continuity from the lore of previous Doctors--maybe not their stories or ongoing background plots, not throwaway references to past friends and enemies, but the individual Doctors preceding Fifteen: their personalities, struggles, growth. It's like he's the new One. And that's good for many reasons, but some things aren't quite translating.
It's like we were given Fourteen, who still feels like a weird interruption to me, because they felt the need to give NuWho fans closure from the past (using arguably the most popular Doctor and Companion--Tennant and Donna Noble). They thought this would placate anyone balking at something "radically" new--like Fourteen "coming home" to the Nobles with the face of Ten, and his unfinished business, was a kind of analogy for the entire fandom wrapping up old wounds about past Doctor Who characters and plots. Cameos from Classic Who Companions (like Mel and Ace) ushered in by ongoing favorite Doctor allies (like Kate) were, I think, meant to further cushion the blow of a "reset" to "Season One."
And, team, let's make sure anything new is conventionally popular and broadly appealing: Fifteen is (literally, Ncuti was in Barbie) a Ken, he's so hot and stylish and cool; his love interest happens to also be conventionally attractive, Groff is a Broadway star from Hamilton (at least he's a gay icon, too, which is somewhat subversive and unique, although...not VERY, he's a hot cis white guy). And there's nothing wrong with these decisions, in and of themselves. I'm not saying "the Doctor has to be overt about his trauma all the time," and I am SURE that my confusion is to do with white bias about how people (Fifteen) manifest PTSD, and that's something to consider carefully.
What bothers me still is that RTD Era 2.0 feels like someone on top would rather flatter the people who dont already love Doctor Who than pay back the fans of years or even decades with something that at least acknowledges a rich body of existing content.
And while I do think that wrapping up NuWho seasons 1-13 was a nice gesture, I also think that "reset" was unnecessary. I think the creative team at BBC is underestimating the ability of Whovians to adapt. I mean we grieve basically every three series, when a Doctor regenerates. We're pretty good at change and growth, but we also like to maintain certain "traditions" that make Doctor Who what it is: --the Doctor being a weird misfit who still tries to be better than comes naturally to them; --Companions and the everyday struggle of humanity ("I think you look like giants"; "I've never met anyone who is unimportant") seen through their eyes as the yardstick of focus, not how cool and mysterious the Doctor is; --new and exciting ways to thwart enemies who are always simultaneously silly and terrifying; --and the sheer, perennially novel BEAUTY of our universe. I feel like all those things are still there, but muted for the sake of something kind of tepidly universal, because God forbid streaming numbers ever dip. God forbid "content" ever lose its appeal to be consumed, consumed, consumed.
It's symptomatic of the direction 21st-century creative endeavors are going, and it makes me really sad. But God bless Ncuti Gatwa. He's doing his damndest to make a mark with like, the same five old white guys on top.
(And like, full disclosure, the last straw for me was seeing a video of "all" the Doctor Who opening logos from the official Doctor Who TikTok spercifically in order to hype Fourteen and Fifteen, and finding that multiple Doctors, including Thirteen, were missing. Please don't say "all" when you don't mean "all." I know people are brutally hard on Thirteen's era, but gosh. Leave space for us :( )
TL;DR FREE FIFTEEN FROM THE DISNEYBRAIN >8(
4 notes · View notes
gabekidd · 2 years ago
Note
(disclaimer that I’m not out here simping for or trying to defend a million dollar company, just a fan with frustrations)
the njpw/aew partnership has always felt incredibly unbalanced. FTR didn’t defend or talk about the IWGP tag belts and skipped out on WTL, Kenny (as much as I love the dude) has done 0 with the US belt, AEW did nothing to promote Willow being part of the Strong Tournament. Desperado set a match with Mox and that didn’t get mentioned. They didn’t even talk about Dominion until after it happened. New Japan social media and commentary make a big effort to keep continuity and talk about things going on in their partner promotions.
Even with Takeshita. DDT has tweeted about the heel turn, their wrestlers have mentioned it, I cannot remember the last time DDT was even mentioned on the show
I get that All Together Again and the Road Tour means 90% of their roster is booked up and it would be a struggle to appear live. But a build to a show doesn’t need to be done 2 weeks before. This is something we should have had going since tickets went on sale. Or at the very least, ask them to film backstage promos to send in, not just play the promotional videos and press conferences that New Japan did themselves.
Sorry, you sent this after I fell asleep, but I agree with everything you've said! Like, I'm not even trying to shit on AEW―it's just facts.
FTR and Kenny were the first people I thought of when Aussie Open had to relinquish the IWGP and Strong tag titles even though Mark would only be out 6 weeks. And Kevin Kelly explained at a later date that if the Dominion match hadn't been set they could have just kept the titles which, okay, fine. But that doesn't change that FTR and Kenny just sat/are just sitting on their respective titles. Also, I was Big Mad when Kenny defended the US title against Jeff Cobb on Dynamite and not a few weeks later at Capital Collision. Like, that's an NJPW belt, my guy. Kenny by God Omega coulda shoulda woulda brought soooooo many more eyes to Capital Collision/NJPW. (And I thought he would have known better, too? That was his home for years?)
But you hit the nail on the head—it's an unbalanced relationship and I frankly don't know what NJPW is getting out of it? Forbidden Door 2 is probably gonna be another routing of their talent like the first FD was.
And like you said, there's absolutely ways to work around people not being able to come to America in order to build a feud/to a PPV. But like I said to that anon, David Finlay been around and available. AEW had the time to meaningfully address the long, long history between him and BOTH Jay and Juice. Juice literally turned on Finlay to join Bullet Club and now Finlay is the leader and you're just gonna ignore that?! And Jay's been exiled from NJPW but he's still out here acting like he's in Bullet Club?! As if (in storyline) Finlay would just allow that happen?! PLEASE. Make it make sense.
Editing to add: there's still a chance to meaningfully introduce the White/Finlay feud AT Forbidden Door. As I said, Jay's been kayfabe exiled from NJPW (and working with NJPW talent, I believe?), so he really SHOULD NOT be anywhere near Toronto on June 25th if they're gonna uphold that. But he could show up because it's also an AEW event. And then Finlay could show up and be like, "Wtf do you think you're doing?" And boom, there you go. I HOPE that happens, genuinely. If not... I will fly to Florida just to smack Tony Khan.
26 notes · View notes
tomasens · 10 months ago
Note
Your thoughts on Fanfik the movie make me wonder what exactly is going on in the book(s?), lol sadly I don't speak polish. I've read some reviews saying the plot was rushed and simplified, but none quite so negative
Hi!! The English post about Fanfik was a jokey parody of a Will Wood post (I assume that's the post you saw!!) haha, my thoughts are still negative but not that... Dramatic ahahah, thank you for asking though and I'll try to explain my biggest gripes with the movie in a (hopefully) comprehensive way since it's 1 am here and I am Big Tired (finals season is starting this week and I am struggling ahhh)
I will discuss only the first book since the movie is only based on it btw‼️
I wanted to like this movie so bad, especially that Fanfik was a book that made me realize that I am not cis myself. I had very high hopes for the movie, especially that they hired a trans actor to play Tosiek! Like! Woah! But of course it couldn't have been good because FUCK YOU JULEK, YOU'RE DOOMED TO NEVER GET GOOD ADAPTATIONS OF YOUR FAVORITE BOOKS!
My biggest issue is that the movie GREATLY oversimplified the social commentary of the book. It involves a regular, dingy polish highschool that is basically a symbolic miniature of the polish public and its largely homophobic and otherwise generally xenophobic tendencies. The movie takes that idea and throws it out the window completely, making the school a lovely, clean and shiny private school (i don't remember if it's stated it's a private school but you can definitely TELL. No polish public highschool is like this. Trust me. And even if there are public schools like that, they're well funded and still don't deal with the same problems as regular schools do). Not only that, but the story's setting (for some unknown reason?? Genuinely I don't understand this choice) is changed from Poznań to the capital, Warszawa and I really hate that since Poznań is a symbol of the more progressive parts of Poland and using it as the setting furthered the ideas about how even the progressive parts of our (polish) society still need work. It could be me looking to deeply into the symbolism though - even then, I don't understand the change. Also, Leon lives in an extremely nice place - in the book his place was, again, dingy, cramped, he was barely getting by in general. These weird choices destroy the mature social commentary the book has to offer and it sucks! :/
Another big issue are the HORRIBLE writing choices and the oversimplification of every. Fucking. Character. I do not have the energy to discuss everyone, so I'll just focus on Tosiek and Leon, plus their relationship.
Tosiek. Oh god. He is not complicated and interesting like in the book, he's a douche. His drug habits are mentioned but quickly forgotten, the fanfic writing aspect is generally abandoned for most of the movie, his character is mean and dicky but because the movie refuses to give him actual problems he looks like a spoiled, whining rich kid. His only problem seems to be his relationship with his father but it isn't explored well enough for the audience to sympathize or at least understand Tosiek's stance. His transness is also flattened, like, to the point that it's comedic to me. I know some people did just. Put on boy clothes once and were like "oh I'm a guy cool" but if we're adapting a story of a character who is definitely NOT like that... Maybe we shouldn't present his trans journey as that simple.
Leon. Oh GOD. Leon is also a douche and that HURTS. He doesn't really face any meaningful consequences for wanting to use Tosiek as a beard when the dude was still girlmoding without telling him (asshole move btw. Like bro had no actual reason to do that he was just being a dick), he generally doesn't face any consequences, his character is boring, and when it's not boring it's rage inducing because like. Tosiek is a fucking asshole but I don't think movie Leon deserves even that guy. He's not a flawed person, he's one dimensional with a bunch of holes in him. Also please stop teaching ur boyfriend how to burp i am eating /j
Their relationship becomes the core of the story which is awful - the book focuses on Tosiek slowly coming to terms with his gender identity, on him trying to find new ways to cope, with him discovering things about his past (shown to him not by his father like in the movie but by the greatest character of all, his aunt, who was cut for... Time's sake I guess? Which is such a big fucking loss), with him learning to love himself. His relationship with Leon is slow, they're friends at first, they slowly, gradually develop feelings for each other, but Tosiek's feelings for Leon are only an excuse for the narrative to study his relationship with gender even more. Their attraction is shown at first by touches, by brushes of hands, not by KISSING. 20 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE. Sorry I cannot get over it, 20 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE. and 25 minutes into the movie Tosiek is sure of his gender identity completely and never questions it ever again because it would get in the way of The Cute Gay Romance. Like, the movie could be about Tosiek being a cis gay dude and experiencing homophobia and it would still make sense without changing barley anything - that's not a good trans story in general, but especially if you have such great, introspective source material ffs!
In conclusion, the movie got Netflix'd and Americanized - everything about it is devoid of the inherent polish...ness that was present in the book, the movie truly could've been written about some guy in Connecticut and it would be THE EXACT SAME, which sucks since polish queers are awesome and should have our stories properly shown. And also it feels like it was written for cis people, while the book definitely knows that it's target audience is trans people and shows love to them in many ways.
Keep in mind that I haven't read the book in a while and I might be mixing details up - I was already planning to reread the book carefully and make a post explaining how the movie fucked it up big time after my finals, I'll make sure to translate it into English so keep an eye out for that in the summer!
Thanks again for asking and reading anon! Cheers<33
(Also Tosiek is a nerd and it's a CRIME there wasn't at least one Hamilton reference because OH BOY do I remember being excited reading a Hamilton reference in one of the books when I was younger and still in my theatre kid who cannot sing act or dance era.)
6 notes · View notes
nyxknocks · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
This. Movie. Made me. SO. Angry.
I just finished it and I'm hoping this comes across as coherent and cohesive because boy, did this movie piss me off. It was honestly genius. With the first movie, I didn't get why this guy was so well known and well loved but I'm happy to say this movie changed that opinion but also like in the worst way because ow.
Strap in because this is gonna be A Lot.
Shige is possibly the worst person I've ever seen and that includes Hannibal the Cannibal like I hated her. Violently. Koichi and Keizo also suck. Basically everyone but Tomi, Shukichi, Noriko, and Kyoko suck like. massively. Selfish, arrogant, prideful people. Like, parents or no parents, you treat people with common respect? Decorum? But its made worse by the fact these are your parents! And you treated them like the biggest burdens when they traveled so far at their age to come see your ungrateful self in Tokyo!!!!!!! Oh my god I'm fuming. "They're fine with crackers", "Use my old slippers", "Oh can I have her summer kimono". !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tumblr media
I need to stop. Like, I had a doc open of my running commentary so I wouldn't forget and 90% of it is me absolutely ranting and raving about these awful, awful children. Not Noriko though she's perfect, precious, incredible.
ANYWAY.
Obviously, the terrible children was the point Ozu was trying to make. It's very obviously a "this generation vs. the older generation" type of movie. The parents are shown most often in traditional garb instead of the more corporate "western" (if you could really even call it that because that feels reductive and near-sighted as an American) outfits. They make a point on the way to Tokyo to show the smokestacks that come with industrialization that counteracts the image on the way back to Onomichi of the traditional palaces, clothes on the line, "clean" air. These felt extremely on the nose, but you could also argue that the shipping boats in the water that they show while home at Onomichi are those industrialized/capitalism views essentially encroaching on the once clean or safe area and thus clean and safe ideals. So, I definitely see that anti-capitalistic approach in this movie, but I don't feel like it's the most important aspect that he was trying to show? Would likely require a second watch for me to expand on this thought further as much of the movie was spent of me swearing at the screen because I hated these people so much.
There is also this metronome/ticking sound throughout the entire film that I didn't really pick up on until the scene with Shukichi visiting the Hattori's, where it was almost overwhelming how fast it was. My initial reaction of that was a sense of mortality, because it added to what Tomi was saying basically from the jump. From the moment she got to Tokyo it felt like she knew something was up and that time was running out for her, because the moment she was alone with her youngest grandson Isamu she talks about how she'll never live to see what he can become. You could argue that's a normal thing grandparents would say even at 68, but it feels more important when you take into consideration how she acts and what she says throughout the film. Even before she felt dizzy at Atami, she would often touch her left arm, and then of course after that it was pointed out by Noriko. She even told Noriko that after she left Tokyo she wouldn't see her again, and reiterated that with Shige by telling them not to bother visiting because Onomichi is so far away. It's like she knew for sure she would not see her children again.
This is clearly intentional because its reinforced at the end when you hear the ticking again right before/while Tomi is in a coma (I believe I heard it here, honestly I don't entirely remember. It might've been just at the end in general), and then again by both Kyoko looking at her watch as the train with Noriko on it leaves Onomichi as well as the watch that Shukichi gifts Noriko on Tomi's behalf. Time is a looming presence from the beginning because the first few lines of the whole movie is about what time their train leaves. It was actually genius how Ozu went about showing this because it felt so subtle until it fully slapped you in the face.
Another brilliant thing he did was opening at the close, as I like to call it. The ending scenes mirrored the opening scenes nearly identically only with the obvious difference of Tomi no longer being alive. Noriko takes the place of Tomi packing, Kyoko is still packing up and leaving for work, Noriko replaces Koichi's wife Fumiko's cleaning as she cleans up the home before she leaves, etc. Even the neighbor coming to say her piece. It reminds me of Hadestown and how they do the reprise. The scenes are essentially the same with added context that makes it devastating. Brilliant. I might be gushing a little bit.
The cinematography was also excellent (for the most part) [I say for the most part because sometimes the cuts between close ups + line delivery felt like an old 90s rpg game]. Knowing that Ozu is known for the stationary shots made it a little easier to digest, but as a modern viewer it is so unsettling how still the shots are, especially because throughout most of them the actors/characters are spiking the camera and looking right at you, full eye contact. It's unnerving and really puts you into the middle of the story. It makes you feel like you are physically apart of it, every awkward scene. It forces you not to look away. The choice of long silence stretching throughout enhances this feeling. You have to bare witness to the travesty that is going to befall this poor couple because their children are the worst. There is even a part where they consider themselves lucky still but the awkward silence and the way their faces fall after kind of tells you all you need to know. They know their children are selfish and shitty.
It's also dynamic. Most of the "action" takes place either off to the side of the camera or out of sight because of the angle (re: the hot spring game table scene. You can't see any of the action. Most of the dinner scenes there is a back to the camera. Fumiko walking in and out of frame cleaning). It makes the world feel 3D with the layering that adds to that sense of you being physically present within the world. It's really impressive how he managed to capture that sense with such little actual camera work.
The final song is extremely on the nose about how the new generation is selfish. Still a nice touch.
I could keep going. Noriko and Kyoko are perfect. The rest are awful and selfish and don't deserve anything good. Shige is a vulture. Ugly (in the heart), nasty, and hunting and pecking over her mother's dead body for free stuff. And has the audacity to criticize Kyoko and Noriko for not having mourning clothes? They're grieving, you wretch! Oh I hate her fr.
Also the fire escape/stairs scene when Noriko was taking Tomi and Shukichi around Tokyo (because their awful terrible biological children refused to make time for them omgihatethemsomuch) just reminded me of the Penrose Steps. I have no idea if that's intentional but it just made me a little uncomfortable.
6 notes · View notes
payphoneangel · 1 year ago
Note
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This passage too for the DVD commentary, lol I couldn’t choose… also so predictable of me to choose scenes with Jack and Sam 💀
OUGH OKAY
so once again this is my beloved fic and this is the prompt
So in this voicemail we got the first time Dean is trying to be respectful of Jack's pronouns while he talks about their plans for college. This is definitely one of the fluffier voicemails in the fic.
Originally, I was going to have Jack use he/they pronouns (I actually still think that's more fitting, or even he/she/they, but again i digress) but as I was writing, I realized that anytime anyone (but specifically Dean this is the Dean fic) used 'he' it would still technically be right. So I actually changed it for Jack to use exclusively they/them, because I wanted Dean to struggle. I wanted him to try. I wanted him to mess up but keep going so he could keep trying to do better by Jack. (It's a headcanon-- or I guess it's just canon to Cell Service, bc I'm God here lol-- that Jack actually uses any pronouns with friends but asked Dean/Sam/Cas to use they/them bc they were worried about confusing them lol. You know how it is with parents)
Again, there was A LOT to unpack in the Dean&Jack dynamic that I just didn't have the time and energy for. Plus, this fic was about Castiel and Dean. But I still wanted to show them both trying to connect with each other.
And I think Dean is def the type to act a little more cold/uncaring to the person in question, but gush about them to someone else. It's all a front tho he not so secretly cares a whole whole lot.
I decided that Jack should be going to college because, while I still wanted them to feel naive, I wanted Jack to be a young adult (I'm not a fan of baby jack but that's a spiel for another day). And I thought college could be something 1) to have them mirror Sam and 2) to ahhhh once again make Dean spiral into abandonment issues and feeling useless.
He wants to be happy for Jack, and he is! But again someone is leaving him. And that's hard.
I picked a writing degree for Jack because I thought it would be fun to not have them be capital G God but still imply to take over the narrative in some way. They're choosing to make better stories.
And then we get some classic 'baby birds leaving the nest' worrying from Dean.
I'm going to pat myself on the back for a few of the details in this voicemail-- namely, the use of pronouns.
We see at the beginning Dean trying his level best to use they/them pronouns, getting the swing of it for a second, but as he gets more in his own head and starts worrying about Jack, falls back into the habit of 'he.' It takes a while, even the most well-meaning of people, to get used to a change like that.
And, at the very end of this segment, I thought I did something a little clever.
The pronouns get more personal as Dean keeps talking.
I think Dean as a character says the most in between his actual dialogue. What he doesn't say is almost more important than what he does. All those pauses and restarts in the voicemails are him thinking, rephrasing, not bringing himself to say what he wants, or sometimes changing his mind and speaking honestly.
and at the very end there, he's connecting Jack to Cas. He starts by saying 'You [have a good kid]', then, changes his mind. He's taking accountability for his relationship to both Jack and Cas: 'We've got a good kid.' Then, finally, a testament to his growth: 'I'm trying to be good back.'
Also I'm just a slut for Dean being a book nerd and I think he and Jack would bond over that. I wanted it to be a Vonnegut book and im going to be real I had not read Timequake before putting it in this fic so i was really hoping it was thematically relevant given what little i knew about it.
2 notes · View notes
portaljumper339 · 1 year ago
Text
Honestly, Post-4 Fallout has the exact same problem that the Star Wars sequels had, in that it is way too mired in the imagery of the originals without understanding any of the meaning behind that imagery. It's why, despite that whole trilogy being a wash, I really respected and enjoyed The Last Jedi cuz it had a thematic point to make: LET THIS FRANCHISE EVOLVE IN NEW AND INTERESTING WAYS INSTEAD OF TRYING TO PUT THE LIGHTNING BACK IN THE BOTTLE BY SHAMELESSLY COPYING AND TWEAKING SOMETHING THAT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE!
Fallout has the same problems regarding 4 and 76, in that all it's really doing is making an atompunk sandbox to run around in without necessarily trying to make any real thematic point, which for a series like Fallout that has more or less run off of its scathing commentary and satire about capitalism, American exceptionalism, and the cyclical nature of warfare, is gonna turn off a lot of the sorts of people who play Fallout specifically for the quality of its writing, and it's why people hold New Vegas in such high esteem. NV represents an actual evolution of the themes and ideas present in the original West Coast games by showing that this setting can grow beyond its proto-50's origins (as well as its fairly Mad Max-ish roots as a setting by showing actual proper civilization coming back), in ways that are both for good and for ill, and the core thematic through-line running through it all is that the past not only deserved to die but deserves to ultimately be buried and forgotten cuz every time someone tries to remake it they either get hit with the the "Road to Hell being paved with Good Intentions" stick (NCR and House, plus Honest Hearts and Lonesome Road) or make things indescribably worse (Legion, plus all of Dead Money and Old World Blues). The only ending that feels good to get (imho) is the Wild Card ending simply because it finishes out the theme of the game, and this franchise as a whole: Begin Again.
I do hope that, now that Obsidian and Bethesda are under one roof, we could potentially get some of that biting Fallout satire back in another West Coast Fallout, but that probably isn't happening until Elder Scrolls VI, and given the rather tepid reception to Starfield I'm not necessarily holding out much hope unless they have a real shake-up in their writing staff.
Man I know I'm bitching about this a lot but I think the complete degradation of the satire and edge of the fallout series over time makes me so mad. The first game literally has an occupying American soldier shooting a Canadian protester dead right there in the opening to let you know the game's stance towards the military and the US as a whole; it's a biting attack on the jingoistic, war-and-profit loving country the US was, rooted in reality. It immediately forces the player to recognize the US (especially in this setting) were not heroic, patriotic do-gooders, but violent, colonizing bastards who blew up the world over chasing a white-picket-fence dream. "War never changes" is about the futile nature of war, the repeating cycles of violence and corruption, the very principles of fighting your fellow man never changing over time. It is always abhorrent, it is always messy, it is always reprehensible, and it is always done for the self interest of the elite in some way. Men do not die for their country, they simply die. Contrasting that with the opening of Fallout 4, which seems to idolize the military and pre-war America, is fucking baffling. You have those white picket fences, those perfect nuclear families, and "war never changes" is stretched like an Animorph cover from a harsh condemnation of the violent cycles the world is put through to a patriotic, watered down idea that war is inevitable and so are heroes. There's no fucking edge to how Fallout 4 remembers the country that ended the world; it gleefully eats up the Americana iconography, sanding down every edge that could make the player even consider that the US in the world of Fallout is meant to be our US taken to a logical extreme, instead revelling in patriotic clothes and ideals and icons while the entire basis of the franchise was built on satirizing and critiquing that exact blind patriotism. It drives me insane that these two completely ideologically different games are under the same roof and that one of them fell for the exact propaganda the first game was satirizing in the first place.
9K notes · View notes
lumios64-blog · 2 months ago
Text
(Concord, Dustborn, etc) - Do gamers really hate inclusivity?
So, do they? Red Dead Redemption 2 has the most diverse cast of supporting characters and it sold 65 millions copies. It has: women, a bri'ish, an indian, an african american, a mexican, an overweight man, a perpetually drunk guy, a disabled old man and many more. Despite this, nobody cared, the right wing didn't care, gamers didn't care. So, what gives?
You hear it all of the time from news sites like Kotaku and Polygon, but like constantly. "Gamers are racist", "gamers are sexist", that sort of thing. I'm sure it's true to some extent and there are gamers who are assholes, but to be honest I do not think the problem lies in the entire gaming community.
I think the simple answer to the issue is threefold, and I'm going to get to it further down, but to keep it simple: Red Dead Redemption 2 is well-written with memorable characters and memorable moments, meanwhile games made by annoying hippy neolibshits are infuriating and have some of the least likable characters ever created.
I know some of you will say and I hear you guys, gals and others in the back plain as day "You like red dead remdeption 2 only because you play as Arthur Morgan, a cis white ma-[…]", no. If you had replaced Arthur Morgan by a black woman, it wouldn't have made a difference to me. In fact, I found Arthur Morgan to be one of the weaker characters in the game. His personality is bewilderingly boring; he is such a do-gooder and portrayed as a hero as long as his honor is in the yellow while he simultaneously is a bandit who CANONICALLY(try a pacifist run on every mission, you can't) kills people which mildly infuriates me when the game constantly tries to paint him as this kind-hearted soul who would never hurt a fly. In the context of the story itself, he isn't that much better - he is so passive and never makes any real move on his own accord other than what the player directly instructs him to, and that one time he threw the accountant out of the camp. However, it's probably for the best he's a straight cis white male plus billions of other "part of the majority" labels because if he wasn't, nobody would put the fault on him as a character, but rather on what he represents. People have been conditioned to perceive poorly written characters that are black/transgender/lesbian/disabled/vitiligo to be tokenism OR wokeism OR rainbow capitalism OR forced diversity OR tumblrism OR slacktivism, and again it's all caused by political activists like the clowns who developed Dustborn since they wanted to make a sociopolitical commentary, but failing to do so in an appropriate manner. You must live happily knowing your anti-racist activism is achieving the exact opposite and doing a disservice to all of humankind.
Not to mention there are many popular games and shows that features underrepresented groups of people as protagonists like Tomb Raider, the Boondocks, GTA SA, GTA 5 or even most indie games - Crosscode, Celeste and Crypt of the Necrodancer are great! Go check them out! None of them receive the same level of bad publicity as Ghostbusters, Captain Marvel, and now, Dustborn.
For the sake of argument; let's say you want to make a game, a movie or a book that is inclusive and diverse. How do you do it right?
Simple, you keep these three aspects in mind and you do everything in your power to not reproduce them:
Writing & voice acting
When a piece of media doesn't become polarized due to being malignantly progressive and cavalier in its delivery, you usually get complaints of "millenial writing". It's a neologism and a pejorative term referring to poor writing and storytelling from inexperienced people who still talk like they are 14. There are two non-political games that come to mind with this sort of garbage. Viewfinder, most infamously known for that one clip of the most popular twitch streamer in the world speedrunning "muting voice acting any%", and Forspoken. Meanwhile, if it is indeed intentional for the sake of the story or political narrative, you get Dustborn where the protagonist is even more entitled than Karen when she's demanding to talk to the manager. Her way of talking is truly adolescent, infantile even - I can almost predict what she's going to say next. Aside from that; when she asks for something, she always wants it and won't have it any other way. There's that scene where she wants to enter a night club or a bar, I couldn't be bothered to remember what it was exactly, and she begs the guard to let her in, even going as far as to use her superpowers on him. Don't tell me that's how a real person acts.
youtube
Character design
I often notice in "woke" media how strangely the characters are designed. Apart from immutable characteristics like their ethnicity or gender, their designs usually fall into "tumblresque" clichés: For instance, they tend to have a mohawk haircut with excessive hair coloring if they have not been shaved bald, and with that a flashy outfit. They always seem to use the "punk" aesthetic in some ways, probably because they want the cast to be misfits or anticonformists of sorts, even when it is an eyesore. An even bigger eyesore if you put hair coloring, colorful bandaids and piercings on a black or vitiligo character, the contrast is simply too heavy from light colors to dark colors. Yet, they never seem to notice it, and usually wind up surprised that everybody thinks the character is an eyesore to look at. The entire cast in Dustborn wears some form of neon yellow which looks fine on some characters, but on others, dear heavens, they look awful. It is particularly bad on characters like Theo and Noam who have a muted color palette. Borderlands, Concord R.I.P and Redfall have the same issue, flashy clothes and quirky haircuts for everyone!
The message & commentary
Last, but not least, they always fail to be subtle. Every single one of them loves to tell you what to think and how to think. This is the typical mindset of these people, be loud, be heard and if you don't listen, be shunned. The worst part is they genuinely believe this is making a substantial change in this forsaken world. Tangent aside, this usually manifests in their movies, video games and books in the form of a lack of the aforementioned subtlety. They have no self-awareness and can't think outside their bubble either, so they won't ever look back on anything they've added that might be offensive or obviously propaganda to certain people and ask themselves whether they should rewrite the script to better accommodate their audience. For example, if there is a gay character, he must remind the audience that he is gay repeatedly. This is not only reinforcing stereotypes of gay people being flamboyant, but it actively contributes to homophobic sentiment. Name me any movie, game or book that has a straight male character saying "hey guys I'm straight, look at me!", having him kiss a woman every other scene or making him carry around this subversive abomination of super-straight flag either on his belongings or as a pin. The straightest character I can think of off the top of my head is Mario who gets a kiss on the cheeks at the end of some games, or Homer Simpsons who is married to a woman and has had 3 kids with her. How often does that happen with gay people in media? I'm tempted to say "never". Either the character is a literal stereotype of gay people or they aren't gay at all! That being said; here's an example directly from Dustborn: In the latter half of the game, you fight conspiracy theorists (I think? I can't be bothered to check again) and the game makes sure to remind you how terrible these people are as you beat them up. Here's how Postal 2 and Goat Simulator handled it, they have a bunch of people protesting, and the game just mocks them with how stupid the thing they are protesting is, that is it. Parody is funny, thought-provoking and can change someone's mind. You can choose to beat them up, but it's by no means necessary to progress the story and the games don't tell you how to think.
Tumblr media
The only time there's anything in Red Dead Redemption 2 that ever comes close to following any of the principles above is Arthur's willingness to help indians (given that he is, you know, an outlaw who is supposed to be getting the hot cash to travel to Tahiti) and the frequency for which they are depicted positively in the game, and Micah Bell for the sociopath that he is, but firstly he is the antagonist and secondly I find his dialogue rather witty compared to Karen Dustborn. As for RDR2 and the indians, that actually made someone on YouTube so mad they made an exposé on it and claimed it was "woke revisionism". The sigma male that shall not be named complained about other aspects of the game like the feminist in Saint Denis, but really he was primarily bothered by the so-called revisionism.
All in all, what this proves is that gamers don't hate inclusivity and diversity, they hate your shitty politics and your half-assed attempt at turning them into moral puritans.
If you're gonna push propaganda into our games, have the common decency to learn storytelling, character development and character design. It is really all it takes! I bet any idiots could make a game with every single theme present in dustborn and it would, at minimum, outsell it by 4 times the amount it got on steam if they do everything right.
P.S: It took so long to string my thoughts together on this topic that Dustborn is old news and the Minecraft movie dropped its trailer long ago. Time to crack open this one I guess. I got for you several other great examples of bad character designs directly from the trailer, and, to clarify; this movie isn't "woke". I just wanted to point that out since the whole post was lambasting cult-ish progressives who are unable to understand how to read the room and improve on their craft, but in that movie's case I'm just using it as yet another example to make my point clear that everything I've said thus far is important. As a plus, it seems completely apolitical. Anyway… Let's start this list with "Garrett Garrison", who is played by Jason Momoa. He looks absolutely insane and unhinged. He looks fuckugly awful.
Tumblr media
Do I actually put the effort to explain what's wrong or do I let everybody figure it out? Ok what-ever, I'll do the homework just in case someone reading is too far lost to see the wrong when it's so blatantly staring at them. Starting off with the clothes, he wears a puffer jacket like those goku drip memes, as a grown ass man with facial hair no less. The cherry on top of the shit cake would be if he'd introduce himself with "how do you do fellow kids" when the movie comes out. The color pink doesn't compliment him at all, and for the record I like the color purple and I don't mind what color you like, if you're a boy and like pink you're perfectly fine. What I'm getting at here is that this color looks ass on him and I think if he wore red or blue it'd still look ass. The best color for him would be either yellow, black or white to go with the shirt. Speaking of the shirt, it looks like the type of shirt a 8 years old would wear. On top of all that, he has a very manly beard and really long blonde hair together which simply doesn't work. Thus the character looks like something a transphobe would design. When the trailer came out I honestly thought he was the token transgender character. Fortunately, the minecraft wiki reminded me that he is, in fact, a cis man by using the he/him pronouns. The moviemakers are so out of touch with reality that they accidentally made the most repulsive and offensive character in the past 10 years. The next character I wanna bring up is Dawn played by Danielle Brooks. Her look isn't nearly as "amusing" as the garbage man, but she still looks like someone's original character with that strange garment on her jacket and around her neck. The jacket itself is flashy and tacky, and is gonna break some fashion conventions if worn in the upcoming 100 years. Then, there is Steve who is just Jack Black with a blue shirt. What else can I add? Seriously, he looks so boring, the polar opposite of the other characters in the worst way possible. On a sidenote, am I going insane or is nobody talking about the fact that Jack Black was specifically chosen for the role? Do I need to remind people he has a darker skin tone than Jack Black? I normally wouldn't bring this up, however the fact that every other day the white neolibs, progressives and the blm community at large lose their collective shit whenever a black character is drawn one shade too bright, while right there you have the most blatant example of whitewashing I've ever seen, and all I'm hearing are crickets is astounding. Guess it's simply easier to harass an artist into submission than the multibillion dollar corporation, isn't that right? Finally, there are those two kids, I think they look the least out of place in the whole trailer, but one of them (the one with the vaporwave sun on the shirt) is wearing a grandma gown which is weird, it's like the trash man wearing a child's t-shirt.
Again, it bears repeating, but this movie is proof that good characters, good writing and enough subtlety go a long way to engage the viewer. You could make a video game, film or novel about climate change and I can guarantee you that if it doesn't go "stop eating meat chud, stop driving cars dipshit and stop doing crypto cretin" (or even visually implying it if not spoken out loud) every chance it gets it'll probably have more of an impact on the viewer/reader/player. At the very least, If you're going to shove propaganda into our media for "the greater good", do it right. Quit further polarizing everyone on everything; all this is doing is contributing to racism, sexism, -phobias, and distrust, including that of science, i.e. climate change, vaccination, etc. - all the things you were supposed to fight against!
I doubt making this post will change anything, and these activists will continue to do what they do best: ruining art and media with their shoehorned political diatribe, but hey, at least I can tell myself that I tried.
Alternative title: When wokescolds don't understand subtlety
1 note · View note
mermaidsirennikita · 6 months ago
Text
ARC REVIEW:
Tumblr media
3.5/5. Releases 10/8/2024 (in audio).
The Vibes: The Nightmare Before Christmas (you know this), rivals to lovers, fighting for the same girl but we really wanna kiss each other
Heat Index: 5/10
The Basics:
Nicholas Claus (otherwise known as Coal) is the Prince of Christmas. His father, the reigning Santa, has commercialized Christmas to the point that Coal is rebellious and and chafes at the prospect of duty... which doesn't mean he isn't obligated to marry his friend Iris, the Easter Princess (who Coal's brother is currently pining for). Problem: Hex, the Prince of Halloween, is here to vie for Iris's hand... except he really doesn't. Because Hex actually wants Coal. And also, they made out a couple of years ago.
The Review:
Well.... I really loved this in theory. In reality? It's solid, but it's another one of those "'twill be better for others than it is for me" books that I seem to be running into a good bit lately.
"But Caroline," you say. "Surely you didn't have high expectations for a silly, fun Nightmare Before Christmas but it's rivals to lovers book, right?"
I mean, I didn't expect it to be some sweeping epic romance, no. But I do expect to have a fun and sexy time, and while this is a fun and sexy time for many, I'm sure, it's not MY type of fun and sexy time. Because I do enjoy a silly book! I was so down for silly here.
It is fun and cute and all that, but it's actually way more in touch with reality (our reality) than I expected. With Christmas romances especially, I often want to be swept up into this Christmas world. The Christmas Notch series, for example, is a Christmas romance series set in our world that is still somehow SO. INTO. CHRISTMAS. It feels "Christmas realm but making out". This had some of that, but I really thought I'd get more.
This leans a lot into the daddy issues of Bad Cynical Santa, versus the potential cackling fun of Bad Cynical Santa. And there wasn't as much magic as I expected? Like, I expected the *creepy organ riff* Addams Family type intro for Hex, but alas. He's most notably wearing a corset. Which I love, but MORE. HALLOWEEN.
When you reference The Nightmare Before Christmas, I just expect... more camp holiday joy and less "let's reference Frozen". There is a Frozen joke, and that was JARRINGLY close to our real world. When you combine that with the capitalism commentary, which is a surprisingly big part of the novel, I'm like... But wait. I want like. Peppermint-flavored dicks, or something. Not OUR world.
That said. I love the holiday royals. I loved Iris. There is a lot of cute here. The concept of two guys trying to win a princess who doesn't want to marry either of them, really (but she will because Holiday Royal Duty) making out with each other on the low? Great.
I think I was just looking more for... more.
I also will say, this falls victim to another "this reads like a well-written book but does it read as romance-y as it could because there is one POV and we need both" situation. Being in Coal's head all the time honestly left me feeling like I'd spent more time getting to know Coal's friends and family than Coal and Hex as a couple. Which, again... doesn't mean it's a bad book. But it did keep me from investing in the romance.
I also do have something of a golden rule with romance novels, which is that... if you don't have everyone involved in the romance show up by 20% in, that's a deduction. Hex does show up early. Technically. But then we have a time jump, during which he and Coal never see each other, and then... it's a good bit before he shows up. Not a lot happens in that good bit, admittedly, because we're mostly getting to know Coal's platonic relationships. But I don't know, man. We needed more.
The Sex:
This is lightly steamy, I'd say. There's chemistry, there's Stuff, but it's not super descriptive or super frequent.
I do actually totally get the Red White & Royal Blue comparisons. If you enjoyed that book (I'm more about the movie version) then yeah, I totally see this working for you. For me... it was more of an "alright" experience. Solid voice performance from the narrator, no complaints there.
Thanks to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
1 note · View note
chainfen · 3 months ago
Text
I want to preface this with the fact that response came from myself and OP directly discussing this post, and me offering to further elaborate on my own opinions on a universe I too enjoy very much.
As I've delved into the HDG universe over the last few months, I've found myself struggling to understand why I find a lot of the writing I'm really enjoying to in some way still be unfulfilling. Reading this piece helped me realise that for a lot of them, it's because they simply do not cement themselves in fantasy. As a group of widely diverse both creators and readers, whether that be race, gender, sexuality- we are choosing to engage in a collective universe, with established boundaries and context, that is high fantastical. That's the entire point of it, is it not? the concept of being allowed to build a version of yourself that is your 'idealised' form; free from the economic constraints of capitalism, the socio-political constraints of wider society and social perception, for some even the limits unbreakable by species.
I don't, like you said, want to put down the idea that there is a catharsis and a rawness in being able to do that. The things I would do to be able to do that. The sheer escapism that the HDG universe offers me- a chronically ill, disabled, transsexual butch plural system, is something I would struggle to find anywhere else. But it feels like there is trend within the content in the universe to build it's women out of a generic base model, one that I see every day on every billboard all around me. There's an almost sterile nature to it, that makes me feel uncomfortable. A woman is small, submissive, feminine, hairless... perfect.
Tangential talk about noncon here, but it's relevant. I'm willing to roll with the idea that noncon as a concept exists within the HDG universe because the Affini believe that they do things for the best interest of the sophont in question- this is not something I'm trying to bring into question. However, as we know it is very thematic for this override of control to include egg cracking, HRT, removal of body hair and body modification that ranges from minor health related changes, to limb changes and additions, as well as full SRS. And whilst I as a reader can not only enjoy these elements, but understand the necessity of them within the storytelling, it once again removes me from the fact that this is meant to be fantasy.
What does it mean to 'be feminine' or be made 'girly'. How does one define those words? How does one separate them from gender, if you can? I can understand that the responses to those questions might be different for each person- but putting that aside, the only actual prerequisite to being 'girly' is to be a girl. I am not ignoring the social implications of being called 'girly' and it's wider use to often mean effeminate, or weak, but I am calling to attention the idea that there is no one look to what is perceived as 'girly'. In regards to femininity, as a GNC butch who has femininity often imposed on me societally because of my stature, there is a pain in the norm of associating these things with the ideal woman without a much wider commentary on why we feel the need to do this.
The Affini are bound by a collective and paternal duty to, well to put it short, care. To ensure the safety, happiness, and realised potential of all xenosophont races they domesticate, every individual, even those who resist it the most. I don't want to have to suspend my disbelief in my escapist fantasy world to believe that they, as an entire race, believe that the best way to treat the damage done to transgender Terrans is to reinforce and comply with the standard that caused them the very damage and trauma they're trying to undo in the first place? This idea of what a woman should be. This perfect model of ideal sterilised femininity who is gorgeous, ageless, hairless and always youthful. That the path to healing the insurmountable harm humanity has committed against transgender, non-binary, and GNC people is to reinforce their home world stereotype that was constructed around an imposed colonialist view of gender that centred the subjugation of women as a gender and ensuring they would be subordinate
and a note, for those in the comments saying OP is 'holier than thou' for the way they express their trans-femininity, or their thoughts on hair removal. I need you to reflect on the fact that your perception of an ideal woman is racist. I am not, in any way saying that it is wrong for you to feel the way you do or to want the things you want. But there needs to be a reflection on the values you apply to womanhood. Idealised white femininity intentionally devalues non Eurocentric features and labels them as masculine to dehumanise and devalue women of colour. You are not being radical or subversive by continuing to uphold these values in a fantasy universe that is meant to be for all.
Trans Feminism and the Human Domestication Guide
Or
Wishing on a misogynistic star won't make your dreams come true
Thesis: A running theme in some parts of the HDG sphere is the unintentional chase and valorisation of misogynistic standards for women in the pursuit of validation.
“The most radical thing that any of us can do is to stop projecting our beliefs about gender onto other people's behaviours and bodies”
― Julia Serano, Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity
I would like to open by declaring my own identities, both as a shield against a particular kind of bad faith criticism, but also to demonstrate that I’m operating in good faith here. I’m a fat, hairy, physically disabled, transgender, butch dyke who writes within the HDG setting with great joy and greater love for the community. I’m also hot as fuck. That established, I’ll continue:
There is a particularly pernicious lie that revolves around the state of women's bodies; that there is a correct way to have one and that those who do not meet these standards are unfeminine or otherwise worthless. It must have a vagina, of course, but it must also be white, thin, able, hairless, youthful, fit but not strong and, of course, soft. 
Trans feminism, and by that I direct my attention to feminist speech within trans and gender non-conformist spaces, has managed to, if not defeat, then at least combat one of the great evils of cis sexism, the necessity of the vagina. The ongoing and necessary validation of the girl cock as beautiful, as wonderful, as feminine is a wonderful, joyful thing. We (trans feminine people) exist as part of the spectrum of womanhood, and that means that our bodies also exist within and without that spectrum of womanhood as well. 
However, trans feminism of a particular kind has - rather than continue the work done to uplift the gock - has embraced a particular kind of ugly lie we’re taught. In many cases - due to a perceived desire to be as close to flawlessly woman as we can be - the focus will instead fall on a particular kind of trans feminine person who manages to engage with and evoke those standards aside from the obvious. To paraphrase Julia Serano in illustrating this point:
“Whether unconscious or deliberate, the gatekeepers clearly sought to … ensure that most people who did transition would not be “gender-ambiguous” in any way”
― Julia Serano, Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity 
One of the beauties of the class-G is that it allows the character to experience their body in an idealised form. I recognise and applaud this position, it is beautiful to see a writer able to imagine themselves completely idealised, completely transformed into something that doesn’t hurt. However, therein lies the rub; the ideal depicted displays some of that ugliness, some of the roots of misogyny that thread their ways through our brains like poison and make us into useful fools for its goals.
The thought that brought about this essay is a repeated phrasing that appears across several works within the HDG milieu; that to be hairless and soft is to be feminine. A character will have their body hair, all their body hair bar that on their head, removed and thus will be made ‘girly’. They, and other characters, may remark on how much more they feel like a woman, unconsciously or consciously linking womanhood to that hairlessness. 
You may note that this directly plays into another cis-sexist standard of beauty; that to be feminine requires a certain girlishness, a pubescent budding that belies the possibility of cellulite or wrinkles or the consequences of living a life where one is not simply a doll.
What is my objection to that? Surely, every writer has the right to depict their own wish fulfilment fantasies. Certainly yes, but also… one must ask at which point we celebrate their dreams and at what point we ask people to engage with their biases and question what they consider to be true. Women, all kinda of women, are hairy. Women have pubic hair, arm hair, leg hair, chest hair, even facial hair. The seeming desire to be completely hairless is as ‘unnatural’ a goal as any other, as ‘unnatural’ as any expectation set for us by the white supremacist culture most of us are steeped in. To return to whipping girl:
“Rather than question our own value judgments or notice the ways that we treat people differently based on their size, beauty, or gender, most of us reflexively react to these situations in a way that reinforces class boundaries: We focus on the presumed “artificiality” of the transformation the subject has undergone.”
― Julia Serano, Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity 
It must be noted that at least part of this problem is with what the reader brings to the table. When something goes unstated, we resort to the baseline of our biases and, due to the way society is structured, that baseline is generally white, thin and physically able. Beauty and femininity are racialised concepts, and I think we fall into traps headlong that white supremacy establishes for us. I am not the person to write an essay critiquing race in HDG, but I recognise the consequences of race and the expectations of white femininity on the work. Thus, then, we must consider the text, and the text is very often pretty clear about its characters.
How many protagonists of a human domestication guide story are textually fat? How many are stated in the text to be people of colour? How many of them are, if not stated to be, then implied through lack of mention, white, and thin? These questions ignore the many that are actively identified as those things. (I will pause here to note that Dog of War - notable as the most popular piece of work in the setting - features a protagonist who is both brown and fat, and I’m extremely happy to see it).
Collectively, as writers, we have seen a future where everyone is accepted and have created a world where the depictions of acceptance come with conformity to modern misogyny. We create a world without boundaries, where a person can be digitalised or made into a dog, and our characters are still aping their ancestors of five centuries prior in seeking validation of self. We are, I would argue (and borrowing heavily from Butler), ‘uncritically mimicking the strategy of the oppressor instead of offering a different set of terms.’
This is not, I would like to be clear, an attack on any particular story. You may recognise elements of several stories in this essay, and perhaps there are particular things I am drawing on, however, this essay does not charge the product of the writer's work with anything. That body of text can exist and be critiqued, but does not exist as a thoughtful, philosophical actor. Rather, I would charge us writers, all of us, with being more thoughtful as we engage with what femininity means to us and what is and is not feminine in a world where anything is possible.
Finally, a quote from Gender Outlaw that I direct at myself as much as anyone else:
“Let's stop pretending that we have all the answers, because when it comes to gender, none of us is fucking omniscient.”
― Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation
155 notes · View notes
mirukosbitchywife · 2 years ago
Text
dabi x reader | huggles mc'cuddles
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DABI!! ITS FINALLY HERE!!! i got a request for a dabi x reader cuddling fic and that is exactly what this is. just pure fluff. completely sfw it's literally just what the title suggests. this is also FOUR THOUSAND WORDS. this is my first proper fanfiction ever so it probably isn't the best but i worked really really hard on it so please be nice! i am not an actual writer i do this for funzies, constructive criticism is appreciated though! if this seems out of character for him just know i'm holding a gun from the abyss right behind him the whole time forcing him to be soft and have feelings. also there's a lot of himiko in this can u tell i love her... ive got a himiko request coming out soon! also tysm to my friend @ko-konutty for helping me edit this!! thank them for all of the capitalization and correct punctuation lmao
Tumblr media
It's movie night at the league. The main TV is set up in the living room and the tables are filled with pizza boxes along with various snacks catered to everyone's individual tastes (Like the blood pouches Himiko demands). It's finally your turn to choose the night's movie. And you, naturally, pick your favorite. It results in some groaning over having to watch it again, which you so diligently ignore.
Quickly pressing the play button, you all start grabbing your food and get settled into your seats to watch. The arrangements end up with you and Dabi on a couch together, Toga and Twice squeezing themselves onto one chair- and Shigaraki, who claimed an arm chair at his own corner where he played with his switch. Not even pretending to pay attention to the movie since he's seen it at least three times already. Spinner and Magne are sat right next to him on two bean bags, which are actually facing the TV. And lastly, sat further away from the group, are Kurogiri and Mr. Compress. Chatting in low voices. You can see as Kurogiri makes Sako a drink at the bar; making an effort to not disturb anyone who is paying attention.
Really, everything should've been fine. You're surrounded by the people you dare call friends, with food and snacks along with your favorite movie playing. But you just can't help but be stuck in a bad mood.
Your entire month had pretty much been shit. Well- your entire year really. And you just. Really really needed a hug right now.
As much as you tried to pay attention to your favorite movie and try to eat your meal before it got cold, you just couldn't focus for a second. Normally, you'd be eating and chatting with everyone else. You're typically giving commentary on the movie and/or reciting lines, but this time you just couldn't drown out your thoughts.
As a matter of fact, you'd been so deep in your own head that you didn't even notice the concerned glances thrown your way from multiple members of the league over the fact that you've been quiet throughout the entire movie.
Hell, you didn't even notice the curious bright blue eyes burning holes onto the side of your head from the opposite end of the couch. Not 'til a rough voice startled you from your thoughts.
"You alright?" Dabi asked lowly.
He had leaned closer. You had never been so close to the man before- his face just a few inches from yours in order to not be heard by anyone else, giving you the illusion of privacy. You could clearly see the concern in his eyes while asking, despite the rest of his face seeming blank.
He'd never admit to concern. But in all honesty you'd all been getting quite closer these past few months together. And you knew he actually cared about everyone in the league.
Especially you.
Who so far has been the most resistant to the "Family bonding time" as Himiko liked to call it.
Despite him asking you a question- you couldn't stop yourself from admiring just how pretty he was. Especially this close up. His beautiful blue eyes, his facial piercings, the little frown he sets when he's trying to put on his blank expression.
He watches as you start to zone out in real time, but just before you can get completely lost in your thoughts again- he snaps his fingers in front of your face.
“Mmmmhmm" you hum.
You're still distracted looking at the staples lining his skin, not paying much attention to his words. Surveying the room in order to continue to not make eye contact- you easily spot two heads already peering back at you. Making both Himiko and Jin freeze while they were 'sneaking' you concerned glances from their shared chair.
Ignoring them for now, and having let the silence stretch a little too long, you eventually bring your eyes back up to meet the intense blue ones of the man at your side. You watch as he huffs at your lack of an answer, flopping back on the seat he claimed as his own.
He wants to let it drop there, it's clear you don't want to talk about whatever's bothering you with him. He should just go back to watching the movie. So, that's what he does. … For a few minutes.
But he just can't stop the concern he feels over your odd behavior tonight. He's debating on whether or not to question you again- only to notice he's been unconsciously bouncing his leg. Deciding to just bite the bullet, he chooses a different approach.
Making sure he catches your eye this time- he asks again. "Seriously. You alright? You're completely out of it today."
And as soon as the words leave his mouth, he can literally see the cogs turning in your mind. It's as clear as day you want to ask him something, it's written all over your face. And in a surprising act of patience- he stays quiet. Allowing you time to fully form your thoughts.
This turned out to be the right move as you start speaking after a moment of silence.
"Could you.... could I get a hug?" you ask hesitantly.
Looking up at him from under your lashes, fidgeting with your hands, clearly nervous about his answer. But trying to appear unaffected. He can't even focus on your face though, because as soon as you asked, his eyes blew wide, his heartbeat picked up, and he was speechless. He's absolutely floored by your question as people don't tend to just ask him things like that.
At his silence you were starting to feel disheartened. Opening your mouth to quickly backtrack and apologize for asking but he interrupts that train of thought with a soft sigh before you can get the words out.
"You...want a.. hug?" He asks in a voice you've never heard from him before.
He's unable to look you in the eye to hear your answer- even if he's sure of what it's going to be since it is what you asked afterall. But It doesn't change the fact that his heart is racing just at the thought.
Lifting his eyes up to keep them from going back to your face: He spots Himiko and Jin on their shared chair. Right behind your head to his view on the couch. Both vigorously nodding their heads along to your request- encouraging him to agree.
As if he would deny you anything.
You may have only known each for a few months, but he's developed quite a soft spot for you over that time. This fact goes unnoticed by you, but not the rest of your friends as he's frequently teased about it by Himiko damn near daily. The teasing often leading to him storming out of whatever room he's in with a light pink blush dusting the healthy parts of his face, only to get teased by other members as soon as he's spotted fleeing Himiko.
He only meets your gaze again when he sees Himiko miming stabbing him if he refuses.
Turning back to face you- he sees your face is fully lit up by the TV. Bringing his attention to the dark circles under your eyes. He's honestly unsure of how he hadn't seen them before. Now that he's paying attention, he also sees the exhaustion in your body language. You've slumped into yourself, looking incredibly tense. He has no clue how long you've been like this without any one of them noticing.
But in their defense, you're not particularly close to anyone here. Always staying on the sidelines, always by yourself- Even when invited to hang out by the more friendly members of the league, You've made sure to keep your distance from them, your walls built up high around you. They can see it though. The way you're hurting yourself more by keeping a distance from them, refusing to get attached to anyone. They can see how you're suffering alone.
They see it so clearly, they've all been in your exact position. They WERE in your exact position right before they found the league. And they know that as much as they want to- they can't just force it. They can't force you to open up to them and be part of the family they’ve made. They have to wait for you to be open to reaching out. To want to form bonds again. And- here you are. Finally starting to break out from the hard shell you have around them, seeking comfort.
And you're asking for it from him of all people?
"Yeah.. if it's okay with you? You're just.. really warm." You explain in a soft voice, afraid of him denying you after you barely managed to find the courage to ask in the first place.
"Uhh.. Yeah. Sure. Of course." He rambles nervously, heart racing in anticipation at the idea.
He's quick to move. Settling fully on the couch in a position that'll be comfortable for the both of you. As soon as he's found it, he opens his arms in invitation- making it so that his lap is completely free for however you want to place yourself.
Despite his easy acceptance, when you easily slide yourself onto his lap- he can't help but tense up. He's reeling over being the recipient of such attention; despite him having expected it. However, he's no where near uncomfortable with the closeness.
You clearly already had an idea of how you wanted the hug to go before asking him as you wasted no time situating yourself over his lap to face him, chest to chest. Your knees bracketing his hips on the couch and wrapping your arms around his waist. You slump forward against him, hooking your chin over his shoulder, and nuzzle into his neck slightly before settling down. Completely comfortable on his lap now.
Once you're still; you feel hands that are almost too hot wrap around your back, pulling you forward the last bit so you're both pressed flush against each other. Those hands then move around your waist to form a light hold.
He's been tense the entire time. That is until you snake your hand up to the top of his head- lightly running your fingers through his soft white hair. Gently scratching his scalp with your nails. The sigh he lets out as he melts into your touch ruffles your hair, but you pay no mind to it.
What you do pay attention to is the fact that this is the first time you'd ever been this close to him. Hell, this is the closest you've been to anyone in years. And the main thing that captures your attention is his surprisingly nice scent. You can easily smell the scent of smoke and nicotine that clings onto him at all times, but even beyond that- you notice the smell of the strawberry shampoo Himiko uses. Along with the faintest scent of snow. You never would've guessed it but somehow it fits now that youre smelling it on him.
Being chest to chest with him you also note how warm he is. You've already known this but being this close? It makes it entirely different. You can just feel the heat seeping into your bones. Relaxing your muscles even further. The thought of seeking him out again after a fight to use him as a personal hot pack crosses your mind briefly and you huff a laugh into his shoulder at the thought.
He didn't even feel it, since unknown to you: Dabi's mind has been running wild since the moment you asked him for the hug. And in all honesty, he didn't really know what he had been expecting after asking if you were alright. But this situation definitely was not it.
Still, he's stuck on one thing, he just doesn't really understand why you chose him to request a hug from. Sure he was questioning if you were alright and was right there next to you, but if you just wanted a hug- Why not approach Himiko any of the times you saw her this week? Or even Jin or Spinner? Hell, maybe even Compress!
They're the more welcoming members of the league. Not him. He's not exactly what he'd call approachable. People are usually so scared by his appearance; or at the very least put off at first. He's not really a person most people would look to for a hug. Yet here you are- cuddled up on his lap.
He's not exactly a stranger to being hugged- everyone in the league is aware of Himiko's clinginess after all. But the fact that he was your first choice? Now that added a lot more impact. It's not as if you deny hugs from the other members, you've just never initiated them like you did with him.
That's never happened to him.
He's never been picked first for nearly anything, let alone comfort.
He's not even anyone's first choice of comfort in the league. It's not like he holds it against any one of them, but they all do have members they're closer to than him, and he's fine with that. He's content on his own most of the time, even if he does secretly treasure when the entire league is together the most. Even despite acting as if he didn't enjoy their company.
But, here you are. Taking a wrecking ball to everything he's used to and making him feel warmer than he has in a while. And not in a way relating to his quirk whatsoever. The revelation hits him hard as he unknowingly started to grip your shirt tightly in his fists, balling up the material, but you don't feel it. Already having fallen into a sleepy half asleep state against his shoulders- completely unaware of the way you've made his thoughts race.
You're enjoying the comfort from him as much as possible, especially since it's been over half an hour since the hug started and he still hasn't pushed you off. You're determined to stay here as long as he'll let you. You want to see if he'll let you stay on his lap long enough for you to fall asleep. You're fine sleeping right here, you just want to see if you'd finally be able to sleep for a whole night without nightmares if there's someone with you while you rest, craving just one night with a full 8 hours of sleep.
He only snaps out of his thoughts when he can physically feel Himiko glaring daggers into his head. To put it simply- If looks could kill, he'd be dead. Confused as to what he did, he looks down at you and sees you. Struggling to keep your eyes open, lightly rubbing your face against his shoulder. You had moved to rest your cheek on it instead of your chin, facing his neck, while he was zoned out. He was so out of it he hadn't noticed the soft breathing against his skin until just this second.
Having now been roused from his thoughts, he looks at the time. Taking note of the way you're quickly losing your fight with sleep- he moves for the first time since you climbed on his lap. He's intent on bringing you to your bed, as he doesn't know if he'll have the heart to wake you if you fell asleep on him, and he doesn't want to pick you up while asleep either, in order to not disturb you. He doesn't know how light of a sleeper you are and he's not willing to find out.
He also didn't want you sleeping on the couch anyway. Especially now that they finally have a hideout where everyone gets their own rooms; therefore you have your own perfectly fine bed. Which is much better than a couch. He easily slides his hands under your thighs to lift you up, making it so that you won't have to detach from him until you get to your room, and allowing you to rest against him for a little longer. You let out a quiet yelp in surprise, making a couple members look over at you two when he stands. But- other than Himiko sticking her tongue out at him when he passes her- there's no reaction from anyone else when he starts walking towards the hallway that'll lead to your room, with you, of course, still in his arms.
Your door is unlocked, as it always is because even if you're not close to the league, you trust them. That makes it much easier for Dabi to get in without needing to move you or put you down. Walking in, he can't help but notice the somewhat sparse decorations in your room.
He's not the kind of guy to snoop, but he's interested to see the parts of your personality that he'll be able to pick up from your room. He is the first person you've ever allowed inside afterall. And looking in just from the doorway- he notices a couple posters on your walls. Mainly musical artists and video games from the swift surveying glances he gives them. He also notes one poster ripped at the corner, but keeps walking until he passes your vanity, where he stops for a moment, he sees pictures scattered across the mirrors borders, some having people cut or scratched out of them. He also takes note of the little things you have there on the surface, like the necklace you made with a bead Mr. Compress gave you, along with your collection of makeup, some of which he knows you use in costume, some of which you got from Magne.
Not wanting to spend too much time looking about, making you question why he stopped. So, he continues on towards your bed where he admires the fairy lights you've set up. On your pillows he also spots the bunny plushie Himiko gave you when she found out they're your favorite animal. In all honesty- seeing you having so many gifts from the other members makes him feel a little jealous. He didn't even know you were friendly enough with some of them to receive gifts from.
He wants to give you something that you'll keep with you too, the issue is: He has no idea how to pick out gifts. Maybe one day he'll suck it up and swallow his pride for you to ask Himiko. He knows she'll help him- he just doesn't know if he could take the teasing that would come.
Dismissing that line of thought with a quick shake of his head, he approaches your bedside, bending over it slightly so that you'll fall over it when you release your hold on him.
Except-
instead of releasing and getting into bed, you surprise him for a second time that night by gripping his middle tighter and whining softly. He freezes in place as soon as you do and you start to tense up, worried that maybe you pushed too far by doing that, but before you can move, he speaks up. However, all he does is whisper quietly to you:
“Y’sure you want me to join you, Sweetheart?”
and you can swear you heard his voice break in the middle of asking that, but you don't point it out. You're too embarrassed over your request to actually verbally ask for him to stay with you until you fell asleep, so you just nod against his shoulder, hoping he'll take that as your answer and you won't have to speak up.
Thankfully for you, after that confirmation, he silently stands back up, with you still hanging onto him, and begins to shuffle into your bed, getting the both of you under your plush comforter, one arm wrapped around you the whole time he's moving. He doesn't say another word, he just lies on his back, with you now straddling his abdomen.
Still slightly embarrassed about the situation despite his easy acceptance to your request, you choose to not say anything for now. All you do is readjust yourself and get comfortable. Since he got in bed with you still on top of him, you assume it's alright if you don't get up from where you are.
Because you really don't want to end the most comfortable hug of your life so soon, that's the main reason you didn't want him to leave. But you'll also secretly admit to yourself that you asking him to stay was a bit selfish, as youve wanted to spend more time with him as well. Even if you haven't talked much to each other tonight, this entire ordeal has been a big experience for you. Tonight is the first time you've let your walls down even the slightest bit around another person in years. But what you're not anticipating is the fact that this move is also the first step to joining the makeshift family the league has formed. .
The family they've been trying to bring you into for weeks.
You're lying on top of him in a very similar position to the one y'all were in in the common area. The only real difference now is how you've fully stretched out your legs, and that your face is pressed into his neck instead of his shoulder, fully facing him now.
Once you're done moving about, his arms come back up around you to rest his warm hands against the dip of your back, which makes you release a sleepy sigh. Fully content to surrender to the darkness calling you to rest; there's something bothering you, keeping you from giving in yet. There's one more thing you need to do before you fall asleep. Moving your head up so you can make eye contact with him nstead of his neck, you mumble in a low voice:
“Thank you for this… G’night Dabi."
He doesn't give a response, he just hums and tightens his arms around you. But he doesn't need to say anything, as you're fully asleep within a minute after having said your parting. The heat of his body was making the call of sleep even more irresistible, and now that you said what you wanted to, you were able to give into it. As you fall asleep, you've started to unconsciously grip Dabi’s shirt tightly, curling the fabric around your firsts; as if subconsciously afraid he'd leave you right after you drift off. But of course he doesn't do that.
He would never do that to you.
Instead, he waits until he's sure you're deeply sleeping, listening to the soft sound of your even breathing against his skin, before his eyes find your face. Soaking up every detail he can make out in the low light of your bedroom, he lets himself appreciate your beauty. The only light in the room being from the string of fairy lights within the room; but that's enough for him right now.
In the stillness of your bedroom, with the only movement coming from you contently sleeping over him in your huddle, he finally allows his tears of blood to fall from his eyes. The ones he's been holding off ever since you let him into your room. The urge had only increased as you continued to cling to him, then shocking him by allowing him on your bed with you, to provide you the comfort you've been craving through the night. It had all become too much for him to hold back now that you're unable to see him.
The show of trust hits him hard as he lies there, crying silently as he grips you tighter, as if you're the only thing keeping him from floating away. The fact that he's the first person you've ever let into your room, and probably the first person to hold you like this in a while, if ever, makes his heart beat erratically in his chest. Your show of vulnerability to him of all people is doing something to him. He didn't even realize how cold he had grown until he was shown the lightest bit of sunshine and immediately began to thaw.
You choosing him to be vulnerable with already has him craving being vulnerable back. Already considering how he might initiate the hug next time- desperately wanting this to become a common occurrence.
And under the bed of night, as crimson tears still flowed, he whispered back to your sleeping form.
"Thank you too.. Goodnight.." as he places a kiss to the crown of your head.
For the first time in maybe his whole life, he doesn't fall asleep in pain or to the deafening noise of his thoughts screaming at him, which are filled with intrusive thoughts that sound suspiciously like his father. No. Instead, he falls asleep under you, feeling truly appreciated and wanted for the first time. The smile that spread across his face before falling victim to the lull of your gentle breathing stays on his face the entire night, never even once interrupted by the nightmares of his past he typically deals with every night.
587 notes · View notes