#again i LIKE who i'm refering too. the situation has just been frustrating

[cleradinel]

maybe bylers can be forgiven for the overall sentiment (far from being everyone’s though) of indifference or dislike towards steve/eddie/steddie when everyone and their mother started pretending eddie spent the whole season gay pinning in gay despair when will byers is right there and steddie was the talk of the town when the byler storyline has been happening for 4 whole seasons and steve was put at the very top of the gay ally pedestal when jon has been the most supportive brother since the beggining. maybe, just maybe it was okay for will byers lovers & byler lovers to be a little pissed. everyone and their mother is a dramatic way of me saying, maybe the actual mlm love story in the show being overshadowed by a wildly spread headcanon rubbed us the wrong way and maybe it’s okay to feel like that, even just a tiny bit, or a whole lot.

[infizero]

silver hasn't changed - he's just been put in different scenarios (a silver character analysis)

something that constantly frustrates me when it comes to discourse over silver's character is that people either treat him as a total uwu soft boy, OR they overcorrect and treat him as some unhinged asshole.

silver's always been a mix of both, but here's why i think it feels like he's gotten "softer" to some people:

silver has ALWAYS had sort of two sides to him based on what situation he's in. he's this pure-hearted, naive kid who refuses to give up hope and who cares about people deeply.

but part of his naivety is that he's very headstrong when pursuing his goals, and tends to see things as very black and white when other people get involved ("you're either with me or against me" kinda thing)

silver is not one or the other, he's both. HE'S ALWAYS BEEN BOTH. in 06 you see scenes of him ruthlessly trying to murder sonic, but you also see scenes of his relationship with blaze, or him taking in the beauty of the nature he's never seen before.

and these sides of him are intertwined as well. the brash and aggressive way silver treats people in the rivals series, for example, stems FROM his naivety and social awkwardness. silver genuinely expects people to just believe him and let him do what he needs to do without question. so when people demand he explain himself, or get in his way because they don't understand what he's doing, he gets frustrated.

(i also just don't think that the rivals series is a good frame of reference to point to when complaining silver is too soft nowadays, considering that literally everyone in those games is like 50% more aggressive than they usually are lol. espio literally tells knuckles, his friend, to his face that he doesnt care that the master emerald is missing and won't help him find it)

anyways, getting more into specifics, 06 and the rivals games show off how silver acts when he's on a mission - he's brash, he's aggressive, and totally focused on doing whatever's necessary to achieve his goals.

his next appearance after that is sonic colors ds, where he's way more chill and casually talks with sonic. which makes sense because there's no reason stated for silver being there; he doesn't have a goal he's pursuing at the moment, so you're able to see that more relaxed side of him.

he's aggressive again in his next game appearance, generations, because he thinks sonic is an impostor - again, there is a specific reason for him acting that way.

forces i don't count because silver is so egregiously out of character there ("i'm an optimist but i'm also a realist" - dawg no the fuck you are not) but he's definitely not an uwu soft boy there

in team sonic racing he's definitely a bit softer which makes sense considering it's just. car racing. and in idw for the most part he's either chilling, or helping the others face a threat, so again there isn't really a reason for that aggressiveness to rear its head.

but we DO see it come out in idw more recently!! as soon as he thinks something's up with "duo," he immediately jumps to that anger and brashness:

these moments are pretty in line with the aggressiveness he displayed in 06 or the rivals series, which i think goes to show that his character hasn't really CHANGED.

it's just that more recently, he's usually been in lower stakes situations where that softer side of his is spotlighted, while during his earlier appearances that more aggressive side was what was spotlighted. but both sides have always existed, and both sides continue to exist.

tldr: stop complaining about silver being too soft please for the love of god

[doylldonmagar]

So I saw @hermesmyplatonicbeloved 's post and had some thoughts. I agree and disagree. I am a percabeth fan but I also know that some of it is screwy, and if you are familiar with my blog, you know this. I think RR screwed up and wrote out a LOT of trauma, I think he really should have dealt with that better. I think it's not good that he wrote trauma and mental issues and abuse into the foundation of many characters and then has ignored it when it became convenient for the plot.

I would love to see specific quotes and books for these because some of them I have no memory of and would like to revisit them.

I'm gonna talk my way through all of this so I'm gonna text break here

The first point is Percy scaring her to tears. I can only imagine in Tartarus? Like when they're both in their worst state? I don't know. I agree they should have talked about it, but I think they should have talked about all of HoH, which brings me back to saying: Rick really failed at dealing with trauma and processing and long term effects. Honestly, being scared *of* him, yeah I agree that's bad, but is that the situation? If she's scared by his power, then I'm not sure of where I stand on this, I don't know anyone with demigod powers, but I don't think I'd be scared simply because I know someone is capable of hurting me. Plenty of people are capable of hurting me. Like I don't know, what situation is this?

"Percy has been suicidal the whole time annabeth has known him, in BoO Percy attempts suicide and annabeth said nothing, noticed nothing" I'd really like a page or quote because i remember him being suicidal but never attempting. (Im rereading what i wrote, is this maybe referring to percy deciding it would be better if he drowned when hes with Jason? If so, I thought the book said annabeth wasn't told that he wanted to give up) But really my bigger issue with this statement is the fact that it's not necessarily a bad relationship just because a person doesn't realize someone is suicidal, or if their suicidal thoughts are fluctuating. If he's been suicidal the entire time she's known him, how should she know? And why is it the girlfriend's job to stop him from suicide? Like yeah she should care, but that's not her responsibility. No one should feel responsible for a significant other's suicide unless they encouraged the SO to do it.

The judo flip, I agree, annabeth should have been more sensitive to Percy's past and again, I blame Rick for conveniently forgetting that an abused kid is not going to laugh or even take well to being thrown on the ground. This also reminds me of a post I made a while back, because I was so frustrated by media portrayals of women getting upset (usually worried) about another character and shaking them or hitting them or using some form of violence, and that's portrayed as acceptable and normal and as a sign of love. I'm not a fan of that.

"Annabeth likes to keep percy on his toes" this point, I want specific quotes, cause I'd like to go over it again. I agree this is funky. Percy says he feels more comfortable with annabeth and feels like he can talk to her blah blah, but yeah, I think I remember him saying she makes him anxious and that's a problem for me. Like genuinely, to anyone who reads this: if your SO makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, nervous, or unsafe, please reevaluate your relationship and be safe. That's not good. And back to percabeth, I'm really not sure why RR would say that.

Bringing up abusive stepfather. If annabeth didn't already know about Gabe...I don't know, that says to me that percy was too traumatized to talk about it, in which case, why can annabeth see it in his actions, his comments, his reactions? I don't know that either. But I do know that having met my fair share of traumatized kids, it's not at all uncommon for them to share trauma as a joke and for multiple kids to laugh it off, not to mention suicidal jokes or jokes about their own abuse. Now I want to be clear, I'm not saying that's healthy, I think that's bad, but I also think it's common. And if annabeth doesn't realize what he's really talking about, or is caught up in her own experience, or is uncomfortable, laughing is not an uncommon response. And I don't think that makes their relationship toxic. (And I'm saying it again: I think Rick wrote that so that people could say oh poor percy and feel strongly about how horrible the situation is, but he didn't want to get into the trauma, so by annabeth laughing it off, he can move on with the scene but include little details that show how bad tartarus is)

I don't remember any comments about poseiden, but I agree her interactions with Tyson are problematic. I have zero explanation or excuse, I really don't know what rick was thinking with that, unless it was maybe a way to signify how all halfbloods feel about monsters? (Now that I've said that, that kinda makes sense, if percy sees a monster who was his human friend, but everyone else just sees a monster who is just like the other monsters who have killed their siblings. But still. Annabeth saying he was gross was uncalled for, Rick could have said she was scared or concerned this was a trick or something, but disgust?)

I agree about Percy's unresolved trauma manifesting as fear of annabeth. I already commented on the judo flip, see comments above.

Percy absolutely has horrible self asteem. I'm not sure that's annabeths problem. Yeah she should support him in every way she can, but it's not her responsibility or anyone else's to make him feel better about himself. She should want to, and she should be positive and encouraging, but I don't think Percy's lack of growth is her problem or necessarily a sign of a toxic relationship. It can be, but I'm not certain it is in this case. I think, as I'm sure you know if you've read this much, Rick doesn't know how to write characters who are further along in their trauma- processing, healing, discussing- rick fails to deal with anything besides a currently traumatized kid and a unresolved but out of the directly abusive situation. (This is where I'd like to note, the whole seaweed brain thing, not funny to me, not cute. I'm not a fan because I do think that encourages negative self image. I am aware that that could be link to annabeths childhood, but again, I would expect her to be hyperaware of this sort of emotional abuse. And I blame Rick. Why does she never have her actual abuse mentioned?)

I don't recall annabeth pushing percy to choose between them. I would have said she had doubts about him still wanting to go to CA and he said that he regretted not being there for Estelle but didn't want to be without annabeth (which is kinda cute, kinda codependent to me, and I agree, codependency is not cute)

I would argue the last point "Percy has no interest in going to New Rome or University" is clearly false. In SoN (2nd book of HOO) Percy discovers there are full families living in New Rome, and how it's safe there, and he says multiple times that he wants that, how he remembers he had a girlfriend named annabeth and he wants her to be there and wants to be able to settle down *there*. And in ChaliceotG he's torn, because he does want to stay in New York for his mom and sister, but he really wants to be with annabeth and he loves new Rome. He says multiple times how he wants to go to New Rome. Its true, if the only reason he wants to go is for annabeth, that's a bit funky. But new Rome is the safest place for demigods, and he's been in wars for years, of course he wants that. And wanting to be out of school- okay? New Rome isn't just about the university, not to mention the New Rome university is focused on kids with dyslexia and adhd, obviously. So it will be tailored to him, his struggles are understood, accepted, and aided. Who wouldn't see the appeal in that?

And finally, I agree, that if a character or couple is going to have broad reach, they should be healthy. That's a problem i have with Colleen hoover and all her toxic relationships that have a large audience and are so loved by that audience. And back to this, I hate that the pjo hoo couples are so focused on in the books because fans always pay attention to the couples, but the focus amplifies them, and I think having a relationship be the main focus of a kids/teen/ya book sets up horrible mindsets, and idolizes relationships and all in all is not good for kids. Percabeth or not, healthy or not, I don't think the emphasis on relationships is good.

I might link some of my other posts that I mentioned or that address similar issues in the reblogs

[little-pondhead]

The Folly of Men -

Chapter 3: #228B22

AO3 - MASTERPOST

[GENERAL TW: Swearing, lukewarm violence, lots of POV changes, and mild body horror.]

-

Damian was still being watched. The summer storm had well and passed, but the eyes he felt on the back of his neck were persistent, following him no matter where he went. He drove himself mad, tearing his room and the rest of Wayne Manor apart for bugs, asked Oracle to scan the city while he patrolled, and even pulled in a favor with some magic users to ensure he wasn't being haunted. Nothing! It was concerning his family, but Damian didn't care. He kept himself surrounded by others at all times whenever he left the house. Something was out there, ready for him to be truly alone. He didn't want to give them the opportunity.

The day came when he was assigned to patrol with Orphan since Batman was with the League but was separated due to the Riddler's schemes. They had solved the riddle already, thankfully, but Damian was intercepted while on his way to their meet-up point.

Pru, a former League assassin, caught his attention from one of Gotham's rooftops, and he swung down to meet her.

“Assassin,” was his only greeting. Damian was not a fool. No matter what had happened between Pru and Drake, she was still dangerous. He drew his sword easily and pointed it at her neck, reminding her that he was still a threat as well.

Pru didn’t look too happy to see him either. “Don’t give me that shit, Robin,” she snarled. “I’m just here to pass on a message.”

“I believe you are loyal to my brother, not me,” Robin hissed. “Why should I believe anything that comes out of your mouth?”

“Because it’s important!” Pru looked frustrated. “Eth Alth'eban is on lockdown, and I barely managed to get out. I can’t get in touch with Red Robin; every time I try, something happens and messages are re-routed or destroyed. Lightning strikes on the communication towers in Antarctica, the encrypted server that runs through Bolivia crashed from a fucking hurricane, even the goddamn carrier pigeon got drawn off course from high winds in Brazil! Do you have any idea how erratic the past two weeks have been? It’s like something is out to get me!”

“So why come to me? You’re in Gotham now.” He pointed out.

Pru threw her hands up, exasperated. “Because Nightwing told me Red Robin is out of the country to help with flooding in Qatar! Apparently, there’s a fucking tropical storm hitting it for the first time ever! You’re the one who really needs to hear this, anyway, so I gave up and found you. It seems Gotham won’t let me leave until I say my piece.”

Damian considered the situation. Pru really did look like she’d been through hell and back. She looked furious at something, and her clothes were still damp from rain. Except it hadn’t rained in Gotham for a while. Not since…the summer storm. The back of his neck tingled again, and he glanced around. Clouds were closing in. Fuck.

He sheathed his sword. Pieces from this puzzle were starting to fall into place, but he needed more information. “Say what you must,” he nodded to Pru while tapping his comms to alert Oracle to the conversation. He also activated his emergency tracker, hoping Orphan or Nightwing would find him in time. Their conversation would end quickly once the woman relayed her message, and Damian wasn't about to force Pru to stay because he was nervous about being alone.

“Finally,” Pru sighed and sat heavily on the rooftop, not minding the glass that dug into her hands and thighs. “Your grandfather has a new Heir.”

Damian blinked, pausing. He wasn’t quite expecting that.

“I only knew about this early because they killed my inside man in the medical department. I got a hold of his notes, and it looks like they were in the middle of treating an unknown entity, and the files all referred to it as the ‘Demon's Heir.’ I'm not Red, so I can't be sure, but the records don't start in a way that would suggest they made a test tube baby or another clone."

"And it is not my cousin they are treating? Perhaps grandfather has changed his mind and declared Mara his ideal Heir."

Pru stared at Gotham's roiling clouds, looking frustrated. She didn't seem to notice anything strange about them. "No. Mara al Ghul was in Kuwait until recently. She and the others from the Demon's Fist were doing something on orders from Mother Soul. It's above my pay grade, so I can't tell you much more than that other than they left suddenly without finishing their business. I'll take a guess that Mother Soul will be pissed about that. I do know that the medical records were updated two days ago to reflect a stab wound to the entity's chest. Their name was also updated: Phantom."

Damian considered Pru's words. He turned the clues over in his mind like stones, carefully examining anything that might hint at deceit. She was telling the truth, unfortunately. "So someone named Phantom has claimed the role of Demon's Heir, and my cousin most likely heard this news first and abandoned her post to attack the usurper," he summarized. "And my grandfather has closed off his city for one reason or another, presumably to either train or protect Phantom. Am I correct?"

Pru nodded. "That's pretty much it, birdie. Whatcha gonna do about it?"

He ignored the jab. "I will consider my options," he said stiffly. "Now that you've served your purpose, leave Gotham immediately." Orphan, where are you?

The former assassin laughed and hauled herself to her feet, brushing off the glass and dirt that stuck to her clothes. "I'll consider it. I've been running around for weeks; Red Robin won't mind if I crash at his, will he?"

"He will."

"Tough shit. See you around!" Pru jumped off the rooftop and into the alley below, not giving a shit about potential muggers as she waltzed into the night.

He was alone.

Damian watched her go before tapping his comms again. “Did you hear everything?” He asked Oracle, but no reply came except static. He expected this but cursed anyway. Thunder started to rumble overhead; he felt it deep in his bones. Whispers of electricity started crawling along the rooftop, following wires and coming dangerously close to touching him. He was forced to back into a corner on the rooftop and hoped his rubber-insulated boots were enough to prevent a shock. The feeling from earlier was stronger than ever. Someone was watching him. They knew he was finally alone. Obviously, Orphan nor Nightwing would get there in time, so Damian would have to deal with this himself.

He turned in a circle, straining his eyes to see through the cloud cover. He still couldn’t pinpoint their location, but he knew they were up there. “Reveal yourself!” He barked, hand on his weapon.

A moment passed. The air pressure changed, making his ears pop uncomfortably. His eyes were trained on the sky as rain started to fall. The clouds above the city gathered wildly, swirling together and reaching down toward him. The bolts of electricity that crawled over the rooftop raced together and rose up to meet it, becoming large bolts of lightning that could do real harm to the city if even one got loose. He stepped back into the corner even further, watching the mass of storm clouds finally get low enough to spread out across the building like a thick fog, revealing a figure in the vague shape of a man.

Great. Of course, it was something magical. He'd be having words with the magic users from earlier.

The man wasn’t touching the ground. In fact, Damian could hardly make out his legs as his broad form blurred from the wind, snatching bits of his green body away. Smaller rain clouds encircled his waist like a belt, and his hair looked more like jagged horns sitting against his brow. While he wore a well-loved weather vest and thick gloves, the rain around them would have soaked the man through by now. But he was perfectly dry. Damian was a little envious.

The man was smiling at him, but not the kind of smile that welcomed him into the conversation. No, this man of clouds and lightning was holding himself like someone was forcing him to be there. His red eyes looked like a swirling red cyclone, and his overall air was disinterested and tired.

Damian flinched as the man opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out except drawn-out screeches and clicks. It sounded like thunder was crashing right next to his ear or a tree getting struck by lightning. He didn't like it. The man frowned, realizing Damian couldn't understand him, and cleared his throat to try again.

“Hello, little Robin,” the man eventually tried, this time in Arabic. His voice was…strange. It sounded like he was gasping with every word, and the thundering sound was still there, muted and layered under the greeting. "I'm sorry, I forgot the people of this world are not natural speakers of the Realm's language."

“I am not little,” Damian snarled, likewise in Arabic.

“Of course not,” the man waved his hand. “A ghost’s size does not determine their power. I greet you nonetheless, little Robin.”

Damian had a feeling that speaking with this man was going to be infuriating. “Who are you?” He demanded. “And why are you in Gotham City?”

“You may call me the Navigator,” the man bowed a little, stiff in his back like he wasn’t used to the action. The Navigator, it seemed, was used to being in power. But by bowing to Damian, he showed his reluctant submission right off the bat, hoping to appease him and have a civil conversation. “And I believe you have a hunch as to why I’m here. You noticed me pretty quickly, after all.”

“So you are the one who’s been stalking me.”

“In plainer terms, yes.”

“I presume you’re the one who’s been messing with Pru as well?”

“You would presume correctly,” The Navigator's face scrunched and swirled like he was making a face of disgust. “I would rather have sent my sylphs to do it, but the Scepter insisted I do this part myself.”

More new information. If Damian remembered, sylphs were elemental wind spirits. So the Navigator was either a spirit himself or someone who could control them. But he said ‘ghost’ earlier. How did that fit in? He didn't look like the undead Damian knew of.

And ‘the Scepter’ was said with an inflection that suggested it was a name. Scepters were symbols of royalty, but Damian didn’t know anyone who actually used one or went by that name. It was no title he’d ever heard of. Whoever they were, they had to be more powerful than the Navigator if they had truly sent him after Robin.

“Aye, I can hear your brain working from here, little Robin.” The Navigator rolled his eyes, stretching the tiny cyclones. “You three are so similar that I’ll never find peace.”

“I don’t quite follow. State your business quickly; I’m losing my patience.”

The Navigator waved his hand, summoning a tablet out of nowhere. He tapped on it a few times clumsily, like he wasn't used to holding it, and then tossed it to Damian. The boy caught it easily and examined the thing. It looked like a normal tablet, similar to the ones Drake made and sold. It had a shield logo stamped on the back with Egyptian hieroglyphs engraved around the edge. It was warm to the touch, and Damian felt a little tingle as he turned it over in his hands. This was filled with magic.

The screen was made from something other than normal glass, that much he could tell as he scrolled away, trying his best to absorb the information quickly while keeping an eye on the stranger. It was a contract, he realized. The contract had been written on papyrus and then scanned in digitally. Half of it was written in a language he recognized but couldn't read. The other half contained details on limitations for the Navigator and instructions he was to follow regarding 'ghostlings,' 'The Guardian,' and...Damian Thomas al Ghul-Wayne.

Damian paled beneath the mask. His full name was in this contract. This was about him. The magical being before him knew who he was. He sped through the pages faster, frantically looking for answers.

...And as stated previously, the Navigator, Ancient of Storms, will grant Damian Thomas al Ghul-Wayne his blessing. This blessing will last the entirety of Damian's natural life until death returns him to the Realms. Upon completing the blessing, the Navigator will dispatch one guard to watch over Damian until the Scepter returns* but will not interfere with him personally.

During this period, the Guardian will fulfill the contract between the Gardener, Ancient of Growth, and one Ra's al Ghul. *The Scepter will enter The Guardian's time loop, and therefore, the Navigator may return to the Realms once the time loop is closed again. The runaway ghostlings will be promptly returned to their Lairs and Haunts in the correct dimensions.

As one last note, the Navigator will also refrain from fucking around with The Sword and The Shield unless he wants to find out what they can do. (I'm serious, too. The Shadow is busy, but I'll still find out if you try something, and I will kick your ass with no hesitation. The other two will be more than willing to punt your ass into Soup Time, as well.)

Upon completing this assignment, I release you from your bind, Ancient of Storms. Return to your Lair and rest with your sylphs. Thank you for your service.

Upon signing, all parties agree to abide by this contract until its terms are met. May the End take our souls if it is ever broken.

The Navigator, Ancient of Storms

Jasmine Nightingale, the Guardian's Scepter

At the bottom, under the signatures, Damian spotted a smaller note addressed to him.

Damian al Ghul, I look forward to our first meeting. Don't forget to bring your sword!

"You," he breathed heavily, glancing up at the mass of clouds. "Explain. What on earth is this?"

The Navigator cocked his head a little too far to the left. "I thought it was pretty self-explanatory," he said in a bored tone. "I was essentially sent on a ravenger hunt to find you and some escaped ghostlings. You shall receive my blessing whether I like it or not, and then I'll leave you to return to my Lair. Hopefully, I'll never have to grace these rotten clouds again!"

"It's 'scavenger hunt.'"

"Huh?"

"Never mind. You are useless at explaining. What is this 'Ancient of Storms' title you have? What are these Realms this contract speaks of? Why must you give me a blessing?"

"Ughhh," the Navigator rolled in the air, groaning. "I'm the embodiment of storms, isn't that obvious? I'd rather deal with Plasmius now than talk with a naive ghostling like you. What kind of ghostling speaks like this anyway? It's rude! I've been practicing my manners; the least you can do is humor me. At least Phantom can figure shit out on his own; I don't have to explain anything to him."

"Phantom?" The name caught Damian's attention. "You know Phantom? Who is he? What does he want with my grandfather?"

"Dunno, little Robin. That's between the Scepter and the Gardener. They had a contract in place decades before your grandfather was even born. And since I'm not allowed near Phantom for a while, all I know is that he's been handed over to Ra's al Ghul for a chance at recovery. He was involved in an incident recently. I don't know the details, but he's hurt so badly it's turning the Realms upside down. That's why I was sent away; I thrive off chaos."

"So, again, you are useless," Damian snarled. He turned away, which, in hindsight, was a stupid move, but he was so angry at the lack of answers that he didn't care. He buried himself back into the tablet, scanning through the contract again, looking for anything useful. Everything seemed so organized, yet the information he wanted felt just out of reach.

He vaguely heard the Navigator mutter in surprise. Something about freaky time visions being too accurate before a blinding white hot pain spread across his body. He dropped the tablet, falling to his knees. It felt like lightning was crawling under his skin, burning him from the inside out. He was distantly aware that he was screaming but didn't know how to stop it. Then the pain was gone in the next instant, and he was left collapsed on the roof, eyes screwed shut as shudders racked his body. He smelled burning flesh. A misty touch brushed away his damp bangs, cooling his brow.

"Yup, I'm pretty sure he's still alive," the Navigator murmured. "Well done, little Robin. Perhaps the Scepter knew what she was talking about when she said you could house my power. Either way, I've said my piece. The rest is up to you. Goodbye, and I hope to never see you again. Feel free to pass on those ghost rabies to the Gardener if you ever see him, though."

And with a rumble of thunder, the presence of the spirit disappeared, taking with him the gentle rain and green storm clouds. Damian lay on that roof for what felt like ages, staring into nothing and dazed from the pain. Nightwing eventually found him, however, with Orphan not far behind.

"Baby Bat!" His elder brother cried, sliding to a stop beside him and gathering Damian in his arms. Cass hovered next to them, unsure of what to do.

"Baba," he croaked in return. "The tablet..."

"Don't worry about that," Nightwing pushed his bangs back, just like the Navigator had. "Are you okay? You're shaking; Oracle lost contact with you over an hour ago and you never showed up to the rendezvous spot. What happened?"

Damian tried to tell him. A being made of storms came by, looking for me by name. He wanted to say. He cut off my comms and shared a contract with me. Then he struck me with lightning and left. We need to bring the tablet back to the Cave for analysis.

But his throat was too dry, and Damian's mind was in too much pain to form the words. As he curled up in Nightwing's arms, all he could mumble was the word 'baba' again and drop his head to the side. Nightwing cursed, instructed Orphan to grab the tablet, and swiftly made the trip back to the Cave with a sense of urgency. Damian groaned the whole way. His body was tender, and every jostle sent tiny shocks through his nerves.

He must have passed out at some point because he remembered skirting around Crime Alley one moment and Alfred checking his vitals the next. The butler gave him a gentle look and dabbed his forehead with a cool cloth. "Where's-" he tried to ask.

"Quiet, Master Damian. Master Dick will be here in a moment." Alfred soothed. Damian dropped it and settled back into the medical bed. When had he taken his clothes off? How long was he out?

A few minutes later, his siblings got the message that he'd awoken and stormed the med bay. "Baby Bat!" Cried Dick, sliding into the room and bolting to Damian's side. "Are you okay? Do you remember us?"

"Yes, baba." Damian croaked. Alfred held a glass of water to his lips, and he sipped carefully to soothe the burn in his throat.

"Dickie told me you got one hell of a shock," Jason, the second eldest, stood in the doorway, arms crossed and staring at them. Cass hung from his side, overwhelmed with anxiety. Steph was shuffling an exhausted Duke into one of the other medical beds, simply so the boy could feel included but still get some rest.

"I did," Damian confessed. Dick gripped his hand tightly, helping him sit up better. "I've been feeling a presence stalk me over the past few weeks, and tonight, I was finally confronted when Cain and I were separated." He left out the part with Pru for now but relayed everything the Navigator had told him, including the details he'd seen on the contract.

Everyone stayed silent as he spoke, but Dick looked like he was ready to bite someone by the end of the story.

"I'm calling everyone back to the Cave," he decided. "This is a Code Addams."

Jason shook his head immediately. "I'm all for punching storm cryptids," he said. "But you know this doesn't fall under Bruce's emergency plans."

"He's right, Dick," Steph frowned. She sat on the other side of Damian's bed, playing with his fingers lightly, and he didn't have the energy to move her. "We can put out a warning, but this sounds like League business to me. Most of us won't really be any help when it comes to al Ghul family drama."

"It's not 'drama,' Brown. Grandfather has taken a new, unknown Heir that has connections to several powerful entities if I'm not mistaken."

Steph nodded. "Yeah! Drama! And if that freaky storm demon shows up again, then we're even less equipped to deal with it. B's not even here right now to help, so we're on our own for this one."

"I'll even send Babs a copy of the contract; she'll probably be able to find something we can't." Jason started tapping away at his phone with one hand, updating the BatKids group chat on the situation and unloading the work onto Barbara.

Dick looked devastated. "But-"

"Hey, Dami?" Duke groaned, cutting everyone off. He was tangled in the thin sheets of the bed now, squinting at the youngest Wayne like he was staring at the sun. "I was kind of half-listening, but you said something about the lightning strike being a blessing, right?"

"Correct."

"Okay, um. Are you aware you glow now? Well, glow more than you used to?"

"...I was not aware. What do you see?"

Duke shuffled and threw an arm over his eyes. The lights of the med bay were giving him a migraine, but he refused to leave now. "You used to just look like a lamp. Now, you look like a bolt of lightning," he said. "There's electricity following your nerves. And your eyes are glowing green—just like Jason's when he's mad. Whatever you got hit with, it's definitely doing something to your body. I just don't know what."

Everyone paused at that.

"Well shit," Jason eventually broke the silence, bringing Cass even closer like a teddy bear. "Looks like we should get a hold of Talia and Bruce, at minimum. Demon Brat, you should probably go to Eth Alth'eban if you want answers."

Damian thumped his head against his thin pillow. "Fuck."

"Potty mouth!"

-

Danny was starting to get tired of waking up sore.

At least he recognized the room. It was the same one as before and actually decorated like a patient's room, not an underground bunker with his own blood splattered on the walls. He groaned, trying to shift his body. How much was he missing? His lungs were back, obviously. They felt raw in his chest. His vocal chords were also half-baked, but speaking wasn't really an issue right now.

What mattered was his pounding headache and the fire beneath his skin. He had started to sweat in his sleep, which is something he'd never done ever since he had died. Danny tried to glance down at this chest. (Had someone slipped his bones back into place?) The bandages were professional work but pulled away easily when he tugged on them. He hissed as they caught on fresh scabs and drew tiny amounts of blood.

His torso was a fucking mess. Danny was underground for ages, he knew. The GIW treated him like an immortal lab rat by tearing open his body every day to poke around and take samples. It was a miracle they didn't find his broken core, which was hidden deep behind his heart.

The cuts on his torso were being held together by surgical staples; no doubt any stitches or glue dissolved when in contact with his blood. His skin was flushed, puckered, and oozed green. The stab wound was fresher and looked nastier than what Lunch Lady could cook up. It was probably infected. He most likely would have scars even as a ghost. Frostbite once told him that wounds to the soul were the hardest to heal, and Danny didn't see himself getting over this anytime soon.

He laid his head back, staring at the smooth ceiling. A whine built in his throat. Why did everything have to hurt? He just wanted to go home.

But where was home?

His home was gone.

He had nothing to return to.

His parents pretty much disowned him the moment they sold him to the GIW.

The whine turned into a quiet sob, and he let himself sit there and shake. All he had ever done was try to be a good son to his parents, a good friend to Sam and Tucker, and a good brother to Dani and Jazz. Why did it have to be up to him to save others? Sure, it was kind of fun, but the stress of protecting both humans and ghosts got to Danny fast. The others didn't understand. No one understood. And now they never will because Danny was gone and had no home.

And there was that heavy pain again. His core became impossibly cold, uncomfortable against his human heart. It was pulling at his skin and at his bones. He gasped and cried, balling up the bandages in his fist. Was his chest caving in? His core felt like it was trying to turn him inside out and tear him apart.

Why was no one there to help him? Why wasn't he good enough to be saved? Was it because he couldn't save that little girl? Were his failures finally catching up to him? He'll do better, he promises...

Desiree must have heard his silent pleas. The door to his room opened, and a single man entered. It took a moment to recognize him through his tears, but Danny eventually saw that he was the same man who had soothed him to sleep previously.

"Ra's al Ghul," Danny managed. The man nodded to him, coming closer to stare at Danny while he writhed on the bed.

"You are having another panic attack."

"C-can't-"

"The doctors say you have lungs once more. Use them."

"It hurts-"

"Then let it hurt," Ra's didn't look away from Danny. He was cold but not disgusted. He expected Danny to be strong enough to handle this himself. "You are my Heir now; either embrace the pain or let go of what torments you. Become stronger."

"I can't!" Danny sobbed. His shoulders shook with the effort it took to speak. "They'll come back-"

Ra's firmly said, "They shall not."

"You don't know that! I'll be cut up again!"

"You are not from this world, Phantom. Whatever torments you cannot follow."

The words slowly sunk into his brain. The weight was lifted off his chest for a moment. Another world? He wasn't in his home dimension? The GIW didn't exist here? His parents weren't waiting around the corner with a bone saw and handcuffs?

That was great, but that also meant he truly was alone now.

There was no way for him to find his way back, was there?

The pressure from his core lessened, and his body stopped trying to eat itself. His chest expanded again, allowing him to breathe properly through choked sobs and broken groans. He clenched his teeth, trying to stop the tears. He really was useless.

"You are not useless, Phantom." Ra's had a hard light in his eyes. "As mentioned before, you are an al Ghul now, one of my grandsons, no matter what you were previously. You are very valuable to the League now, and I refuse to let you go."

Danny sniffed. "I can't offer you much," he said. "I remember that Undergrowth promised you power and knowledge, but I'm practically a high school dropout, and I'm so weak I can barely lift my head."

"So you shall regain your strength. I have lived a long time, grandson, and I shall live even longer. Your recovery will be swift when compared to the erosion of time."

"Mr. al Ghul..." Danny said defeatedly. His throat felt thick from all the crying. "I couldn't even keep my town safe. All I'm good for is killing kings and pissing people off. I don't want to bring you that kind of shame."

Ra did not show any signs of his satisfaction with Danny's words, but Danny could taste it in the air. "So you were a warrior, yes?"

"I-uh, sort of? I'm a ghost, and I died two years ago. Ghosts fight for every reason and no reason. I kinda had to learn on my feet or risk getting Ended."

"A warrior who cannot die. A man who has the will to act." Ra's appraised him like a prized cow. "Yes, I shall be able to use you, child. The al Ghul legacy shall never die out if you become the Demon's Head. Phantom al Ghul is a...fitting name, I suppose."

Danny wrinkled his nose. "I don't know what half of that means, but okay. And my name isn't really Phantom; that's just my title and hero name. My real name is Danny."

"Then, Daniel-"

"Danny!"

"Daniel, now that your tears have stopped, let me call for refreshments and fresh bandages. We must discuss the Gardener's contract and your usefulness in great detail."

Danny sighed. He was calmer, but now he had to do an Ancient's magic paperwork? He'd rather let his core swallow him whole.

At least someone needed him again.

-

The group followed Jazz’s decision without a second thought and stepped through the giant portal alongside her. Luckily, it led right to the edge of the In-Between, where Clockwork and a few others resided in their individual spaces. Jazz yelped as she realized there was no solid surface to land on and flipped around in the air uncontrollably. Sam and Tucker had the same fate. All of them kind of bobbed around like ducks in the water before Danielle sighed, gathered them all up with some rope from Tucker’s pack, and hauled them along in the vague direction of Clockwork’s tower.

For a space called Long Now, it didn't take very long to reach the tower, even with Dani hauling along three passengers. Everyone was pretty quiet during the ride, still processing what they had seen in the underground facility. It was a little strange. None of them felt disgust or fear at Danny's actions, but anger and sadness at what he was forced to endure. Not once did they consider abandoning him, even though others might have shied away from his monstrous outburst.

Jazz wondered what Clockwork could possibly say to them that would make the whole thing better. She just wanted to see Danny. She wanted to sit down with him and watch shitty kid's movies while they huddled under that one big quilt her parents had. The one that was gifted to them as a wedding gift and the one they added to when something important happened. She felt horrible thinking about it now.

Jazz would probably never see that quilt again. And if she did, she would probably burn it.

"We're here," Dani quietly announced, untethering the group from her body as they touched Clockwork's island. Long Now was a special place even in the In-Between. The tower's foundations were in varying stages of decay, and much like its owner, the building warped from looking good as new to 'about to fall over' kind of old right before their eyes. Everything felt so fragile.

They entered the lower entrance, climbing a spiral staircase past rows and rows of clocks lining the walls. Everything was ticking out of sync, which usually annoyed Jazz to no end. Right now, she couldn't care less.

Reaching the top had a lack of fanfare. One minute they were passing the biggest fucking grandfather clock they'd ever seen, and the next, they were in Clockwork's main room at the top of the tower, facing the old ghost himself.

Clockwork didn't even look at them. He seemed exhausted.

"We're here," Jazz announced. "Tell us what you know."

"No greetings, Jasmine? I thought you raised Danny to have manners, so where are yours?"

"Locked behind the walls of Fentonworks. Tell us what you know, Clockwork, or I'll break everything here." She snarled. It wasn't an empty threat, and everyone knew it.

"Please, Clockwork," Tucker added. "We saw your message. Where's Danny?"

Dani started crying into Sam's shoulder. "Where's my brother?" The ghost girl sobbed. "I want to see Danny!"

Clockwork sighed. He was aging rapidly, growing wrinkles as they watched. "Daniel is safe, for now. I hid him in another world. However, the flow of time has changed. New paths are being forged. If things continue as they are, Daniel will become something worse than Dan."

Danielle muffled another sob.

"Daniel did something I did not expect while having his rampage in Yellowstone. It will take a delicate hand to make sure his actions do not cause him to go down the wrong path."

"What did he do?"

Clockwork looked them each in the eye. His eyes were glassy and blank, like the face of a new watch, but his sincerity was enough to reach them. "He sealed off the Realms."

Tucker choked. "I'm sorry, he wHAT??"

"Daniel, in his explosion of sudden power, sealed off the Infinite Realms from your home world's influence. Only the power of an Ancient can break that barrier now. The only portal still open is the one located in Fentonworks, protected by the strongest shield your mortal world has to offer. Vortex had to be sent out to collect ghostlings who didn't return in time. By sealing off the Realms, Daniel effectively declared they were under his protection and claimed the title 'Guardian' since only Guardians have the right to seal off worlds."

Jazz's mind was spinning. "He...sealed off our world. Did he do it on purpose?"

Clockwork shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not. This was a decision made by Fate alone. He was simply the strongest power source available that was also willing to defend the Realms to his End. The Realms responded in kind and claimed him as Guardian. That is a title and a burden he will share forever."

"Oh, god..." Jazz sat heavily on the floor, reeling from the shock. Dani left Sam's shoulder and crumpled into her lap, still crying. Tucker and Sam also offered each other comfort, leaning on each other as Clockwork's words sunk in. "So, what happens to him? Where is he now? What future do we have to avoid?"

Clockwork waved his staff, summoning a few large clocks with reflective surfaces. The clockfaces glitched and changed to show different pictures of Danny, all doing various things at different stages in his life. One had Danny laughing with a group of strangers. Another had him shaking hands with a green-skinned man. A third was him sitting in a hospital bed, getting stabbed in the chest. They cycled through different pictures and videos, and it was hard to look away.

"This is the future we must avoid." Clockwork motioned to the smallest clock, which showed a furious Danny screaming into the vacuum of space, tears pouring down his face. A large rip into the Realms tore open from his Wail, and the stars surrounding him started to get sucked in.

"If this future comes true, Daniel will destroy not only your home world but the Realms as a whole," The Ancient explained. "Because of his new link to the Realms, no one will be able to take the title of Guardian from him. He will become a destroyer and tear apart every universe and every timeline. Everything will just...End."

"That's horrible," Sam whispered. "What's the tipping point?"

Again, Clockwork looked them deep in their eyes. "Your betrayals."

"WHAT??" Danielle screeched, whipping around.

"You betray him by dying, Danielle. You melt in his arms and ask why he didn't save you. Samantha, you betray him by leaving him. Your home world is never unsealed and you can't stand not being able to see your grandmother again. Tucker, you betray him by lying to him. You say you're on his side but end up stabbing him in the back for a 'good cause.' Jasmine, you betray him by acting just like your parents." Jazz felt tears prick her eyes, but Clockwork kept going. "You see the monster he has become and can't look past it. The four of you betraying him would be his last straw, and Daniel would rather tear apart the universe than be reminded of you four ever again. And so he does."

Sam protested, "We would never!"

"You wouldn't." Clockwork agreed. "But you can, and in some ways, you already have. That is how time works. If you do not want to bring about this end, you must actively fight against this destiny like Daniel has fought against Dan."

Tucker whipped out his PDA, already taking notes. "What's the game plan, then? I would rather eat Dash's underwear than stab Danny in the back. If I have to throw hands with an evil version of myself from the future, I'm willing to do that, too."

Clockwork smiled at them for the first time since their arrival. "That was the right response," he told Tucker. "You're already taking a step away from that future. But for the best ending for everyone, all four of you will need to connect with the Realms as well."

"But we don't have the same power that Danny does."

"No, but your will is just as strong as his. Prove to the Realms that you're willing to fight, protect, and love just as much as Daniel. Become his support. Do it right, follow in his footsteps, and the Realms shall accept you with open arms. You will be bound together as a family for eternity."

The four looked at each other. Jazz gently wiped away the remainder of Dani's tears as they pondered over the ghost's words. Connecting with the Realms would probably mean giving up some amount of their humanity, especially if it truly was a forever thing. They might follow in Danny's footsteps a little too closely-but for their friend and brother? They would do anything.

"Fuck eternity!"

"Tell us what to do."

"We'll always be there for Danny."

"I don't plan on eating any underwear, but I will fight evil me if that's what it takes."

Clockwork shriveled up, folding in on himself several times before unfolding into a child, like a phoenix (but without the fire). He looked less exhausted now, less like the promise of the End was no longer hovering over his shoulder. "Become the Guardian's Shadow, Danielle. Take up his mantle while he is away and keep the peace in his stead. Be the Guardian's Sword, Samantha. Be at the front of each fight and kill when he cannot. The Guardian's Shield will be you, Tucker. Your wish to protect those around you will come true, and you will gain the power to shield them from harm. And Jasmine-"

Jazz held her breath.

"You will have the most difficult job. You will be the Guardian's Scepter. His symbol of power. You will work behind the scenes to stage events that shall work in his favor no matter what."

She released her breath, surprised. "A scepter? Like the symbol of royalty? But wasn't the position of King given to another?"

"In sorts. Daniel helped elect a council to rule the Realms and refused to be a part of it. However, you shall be his Scepter, only wielded in times of need. You will take the dark and harsher jobs that shouldn't be brought to life. You will pull the strings to ensure the timelines stay together, and he never strays from the path."

"How would I do that?"

"You need to become my apprentice."

-

After Jason's statement about coming to see Ra's in person, the whole Batfamily blew up. Words were said in person and over text, and Damian was too exhausted at the time to get a word in edgewise, so let Jason argue for him. Eventually, Bruce had to take a moment away from his League duties and settle the matter over a conference call. After debating, he allowed Damian to return to the League of Assassins, provided Dick went with him. The man was already on a leave of absence from his job to cover for Batman, and he could keep a level head when dealing with the Demon's Head.

So off they went as soon as Alfred gave Damian the all-clear. Strangely enough, he had no side effects from being struck by fucking lightning. Well, almost none. He did feel flush every once in a while, and his veins burned like there was liquid battery acid in them, but other than that, he was fine! No, he didn't need another cold press, Alfred! It was only a few hours by plane; he'd be fine!

And honestly, with the news that Eth Alth’eban was on lockdown, Damian thought it would be harder to enter the city. Undetected, at least. Sadly, they were found out immediately and had a group waiting for them as they touched down. As soon as he stepped off the Batplane onto the private airstrip in Yemen, he was quickly surrounded by the 'welcoming' entourage of assassins. They took his bags, herding him toward a black car as Dick jogged to keep up with them. Damian was glad they didn't do a pat-down in their rush; he'd hidden the tablet under his clothes just for this purpose.

"Hey!" his brother shouted. "How did you guys even know we were here?"

"This is a League matter, Nightwing." The head of the group, a one-eyed man named after the god Balor, whom Damian recognized as part of his grandfather's elite, barely turned to look at Grayson and dismissed him entirely.

“No, this is a family matter,” Dick leaned against the door of the car, preventing Balor from opening it and shoving Damian in. They stared at each other long and hard.

“You are not an al Ghul.”

“Damian was nearly killed by a storm demon and told there was a new Heir who is somehow connected to said storm demon. I’m not leaving him alone.”

Balor considered the options before him, glancing at Damian. His one good eye assessed him. The boy simply raised a brow. “I’d prefer it if my baba came with us.”

The assassin’s face twitched, which was the equivalent of a snort of disgust, but gave in to Dick’s demands and herded them both into the car. Two more assassins slid in on either side of them while Balor took the passenger seat. The driver barely glanced at the airport security as they drove the vehicle off the tarmac and into the middle of the desert.

The drive felt long. Damian held a stoic face whenever Balor looked at him and refused to engage in any conversation with Dick. Even when the AC was turned off, everyone started sweating, and his brother was threatening to sing show tunes until they turned it back on.

He ended up singing, of course. Damian just zoned out as his brother started warbling through the entire soundtrack of Hairspray. Truly, the man had questionable taste. For their credit, the assassins made it through the entire performance of Hairspray and halfway through High School Musical before the driver slowly leaned over, never taking their eyes off the desert landscape, and flicked the AC back on to blast. They lasted longer than Bruce would have.

Dick still finished the High School Musical soundtrack despite getting what he wanted. No one ever said he did things half-assed.

Finally, Damian spotted the maze of canyons that housed the Assassin City, Eth Alth’eban. Damian wasn’t sure if his elder brother had ever been there before, but the tight hold he had on his hand suggested that Dick either had very complicated memories of the place or was anxious about being in enemy territory. He wasn’t really interested in asking.

As they approached, the main gate was large and imposing. The sun was high in the sky now and beat down on them to reflect all the minute details that had been carved into the gates. They were gorgeous pieces of work, ones that Ra’s was no doubt very proud of. Guards were there to welcome them, examining the vehicle from top to bottom to ensure nothing strange was being brought in from the outside world. Damian glared at his brother when the man leaned forward to take the attention off of him and the hidden tablet, loudly asking the outside guards when they could go in yet.

One of them narrowed their eyes at Dick. “An extra?” They hissed in Arabic. “This was not approved by the Demon’s Head.”

Balor jerked a thumb at Damian. “His choice,” he responded simply. “The Bats are never alone. The Head is aware of this." Since when? They never called ahead. Damian felt the burn of lighting in his veins again. He caught Balor's eye in the rearview mirror and realized that the man's eye color was much lighter than it was supposed to be. It was shifting between gray and blue, like a cloud, and stared at him with unusual intensity.

Fuck. Of course, the secret guard that was mentioned in the contract. It must have gone into effect when the Navigator returned to wherever he came from. How did he know they would end up in the Eth Alth'eban?

Whatever was said next, Damian missed, but eventually, the gates opened, and the car was let through. Dick was quiet once more, staring at the lush city, probably trying to figure out how to do a backflip off the tall buildings. They headed straight for the palace that was past the training grounds. Most people were taking a noon daybreak, so the grounds were empty when the car pulled up next to the designated drop-off point.

Balor motioned for the group to leave the car, and the two assassins tugged on Dick’s arm painfully, practically dragging him along and not allowing any room for him to wander off. Damian wasn’t touched, but he was no less shuffled in the same direction. They went up the steps, through hallways lined with servants and fountains, following a path Damian recognized easily. They were headed to the medical wing.

His mind raced. Was he ready to meet this ‘Phantom’ fellow? Would he insist on fighting to the death to prove his worth? Had his mother gotten his message and made it here before him? So many questions ran through his head, yet this was not the time to ask them. Damian bit his tongue and instead played the part of the perfect al Ghul. Silent, deadly, and proud.

Balor was leading the way. He studied the older man's back carefully, looking for any other inconsistencies in his behavior. There were none, except for a single cloud symbol stamped into his neck that shimmered the same color as Vortex. Did this mean he was possessed? Was he another one of the Navigator's blessed? Did Damian also have the same symbol? No one else seemed to notice the mark, so Damian put it in the back of his mind. He'd have Dick check his neck later, just in case.

They'd reached the end of the medical wing now, where Damian knew the rooms were sealed off for quarantined patients.

Indeed, a pair of guards stood in front of the extra set of doors. Balor nodded to the guards and pushed through without stopping. The quarantined corridor was short, with only six rooms, three on each side. Five were marked with a little green flag by the door, indicating their vacancy. The sixth, the farthest on the left, had a little red flag displayed. Damian pushed his way to the front of the group and beelined for the door. This was it. Soon, he'd have some answers.

His grandfather opened the door before he could knock. The al Ghuls looked at each other, noting how much had changed since they had last seen each other. His grandfather looked…well. He was healthy, and there were no visible injuries. His clothes were immaculate but simpler than his usual ornate robes. It felt like Ra's was dressed for a close social visit, not for taking over the world and planning murder.

"Damian," His grandfather was as short as ever, however. "You are late."

"Good to see you too, old man," Dick snarked. Ra's ignored him, waving a hand to Balor, who promptly shut the door again before Dick could walk through after Damian. The two were to wait in the hallway, apparently.

Damian moved further past his grandfather, forgoing the greeting. His eyes were glued to the hospital bed. Draped in rich blankets and wrapped in soft cotton bandages, a boy around his age was sitting up and staring at him with green eyes similar to his own. He was holding a glass of Lazarus water, raised to his lips like he was about to drink it. Honestly, if it wasn't for his incredibly pale skin and wispy white hair, the boy could have been his-

"Holy shit, we look exactly the same!" The boy lowered the glass, staring at Damian in wonder. His voice was double-layered, like the Navigator's, and it grated on Damian's mind with the sounds of screaming and creaking ice. "Are you Mr. al Ghul's other grandson? This is so freaky!"

Ah, so this was Phantom.

-

[mooniety]

Concerning your last post, is there any chance you can tell more about your pupupu train au 👉👈

HI YES OF COURSE I AM FINALLY GONNA ANSWER THIS I AM SO, SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG, MY BRAIN JUICES HAVE NOT BEEN FLOWING & I HAVE BEEN MENTALLY STUCK IN ESSENTIALLY WHAT IS AN EXTREME LACK OF MOTIVATION ALONGSIDE COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

however, i will admit that this is AWFULLY barebones as what i have in my notes app besides this post is legitimately just a bunch of random comedic bits i've made regarding these two in a pupupu train context, mainly the "haha mk refuses to let susie transfer" bit

fair warning: this is a very metasusie coded answer so anyone who is uncomfortable by the ship, i really don't think this is your cup of tea ^^; sorry!

also here's cut so no one needs to read this freakishly long answer if they aren't interested

as of currently, i'm not really sure how the other units will work, but i do know that it will be based on the separate station masters of the real life collab:

kirby for tokyo

dedede for osaka

mk for nagoya

& with station masters comes units, & with units comes staff, which is where our favorite allies come into play:

in kirby's unit is magolor, who's only interest appears to be the fame it will bring him. despite being part of the most popular unit throughout japan, magolor wishes to be recognized, unhappy that he is simply regarded as another employee of japan's top unit, with kirby taking all of the press & fame

within dedede's unit is taranza, who finds trains to be a great solace after applying to the osaka train station as an internship during his stay at osaka university & since then has become a full time employee, working as the assistant station master. he appears to be romantically interested in a woman named sectonia who frequents the station. it's unknown how she feels about him though.

& in mk's unit...IS SUSIE, WHICH IS WHERE I'M GOING TO TAKE A HUGE DETOUR TO JUST TALK ABOUT (because i legitimately do not have this entire thing fleshed out despite it being over several months since this ask was sent in --again, i apologize.)

so, let's talk about susie! (best girlfailure 😍)

susie is an employee of the nagoya station, currently working as assistant station master. she's built her entire way up to her current position, initially working as a humble customer service worker to within several months the position she is currently after proving her worth through helping during dire situations at the station with her extensive knowledge in engineering

she got this job from taranza, an old high school friend of hers that she managed to keep in contact with. aware she was going to graduate from tokyo university soon & wanted to continue living there afterwards, he told her that job applications for all the train stations were opening up soon & recommended she start there in order to get some good experience or at least build a stronger resume for the future, even doing her the favor of recommending her specifically to kirby. although it didn't really seem to entirely work out unfortunately --good job on taranza for at least trying though, we all need a friend like him frfr 💯💯

unfortunately, even after climbing up the ranks, she's still somehow considered a nobody, often relegated as another typical staff member of the station. to add to her frustration, there's a frequent rumor regarding whether mk even has an assistant station master as he's known as "the lone station master" (DO YOU GET THE REFERENCE 👁️👁️) as the position of assistant station master was vacant for over a year until susie came along. they assume that whoever they are, they seem to rarely make an appearance (despite susie's near perfect attendance, even in comparison to mk himself)

well, now that i've mentioned mk, let's talk about him too:

unlike susie, mk is simply said: the literal face of the nagoya station. everyone knows about him & likes him--he's charming, he's eloquent, knows class, & although he can be overly elaborate at times, people like that about him --he's just a very DEMURE man in general (I WROTE THIS PART WHEN IT WAS STILL FUNNY PLEASE LAUGH 😭)

on the other hand, susie DOES NOT like him very much!!!!!! she finds him EXTREMELY annoying, a HUGE attention seeker, & VERY irrational

because of this, mk enjoys picking at susie as a pastime activity, especially over the fact that instead of getting a job for kirby's unit, she ended up working at mk's unit due to her father's address being in nagoya, the cause of it all

even though mk's a frequent dick to susie, he DOES see the effort she puts into her work &--even though he might not show it--greatly respects her as a result. after all, how did she get promoted to assistant station master? vul could've taken it as the longest standing senior member of the crew but mk chose susie instead

generally said, these two essentially have this rivalry on who can piss off the other most, evolving from "i hate you, i cannot stand you & i want you to know that all while NOT losing my job ^-^" to kaguya-sama: love is war type shit as they're both DEFINITELY into it & DEFINITELY into each other

small detour for those who haven't watched or heard of kaguya sama: love is war, it's a great romantic comedy anime/manga & i recommend watching/reading it if you ever find the time & you're into that kind of stuff, very cute & very funny

anyways, going back to susie, despite susie's attempts to piss off mk herself, unlike mk's more...elaborate ways of pissing her off, she typically has to go for the low blows which typically never works or if they do, he immediately gets back at her or if it really pisses him off, he will straight up pull the "i'm your boss." card which is a line susie wishes to never cross as long as she lives!

outside of mk, regarding her relationship with the rest of the nagoya station unit, she's relatively neutral as she doesn't really talk to any of them much outside of work, the only person breaking that rule being sailor dee, a junior staff member who she currently supervises with vul who, as stated previously, is a senior staff member. she enjoys spoiling sailor dee a lot & views him a lot like a younger sibling. she finds his passion for engineering inspiring & she can see a lot of herself in him

however, she does know others outside of her unit, such as magolor, who she met through taranza. as an interesting tidbit, out of the three, magolor is the youngest (& shortest), being 20 as he went to study abroad & graduated early before returning back to japan. taranza meanwhile is the oldest (& tallest) of the three, being 23. susie meanwhile is 21. (for anyone curious about mk's age, he's 24 in this au, which would mean susie & mk have a 3 year age gap)

mk really doesn't like magolor & doesn't want susie to be in a 10m radius of him, & although he doesn't know much about taranza's relationship with susie, he still doesn't want to take any chances

in terms of mk's own relationships, besides the wave 3 trio, he's basically buddy buddy with the rest of the nagoya station unit, absolutely adoring them. in terms of the other two station masters, he's best buds with dedede & views kirby as a younger brother, similar to how susie views sailor dee

going back to susie once again, although she does enjoy her job, she does wish she could maybe transfer to other units because they include closer friends such as magolor & taranza. however, whenever she looks for the transfer applications, they never seem to be there despite mk's claims of restocking them every single day. furthermore, whenever she goes to print out one out instead, the file is also corrupted to a degree that even susie can't save.

even more suspiciously however, the one day mk forgets to hide the transfer applications & witnesses susie take one (he definitely had heart palpitations after witnessing her actually do it), he has never received the application back from her.

now...i've been waiting for this part for a really long time now as this has practically been in the back of my mind ever since i received this ask...THEIR BACKSTORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

since susie's isn't all that interesting since she already gets tortured by mk, i'll start with hers first:

ever since she was born, susie has lived comfortably in nagoya, practically surrounded in wealth. however, this was all without her mother, who had shortly passed away after giving birth to her, thus the only parent she's ever had is her father. she's only heard snippets about her mother, but because she's never actually met her mother, she doesn't feel particularly close to nor all that curious about her

going into the logistics of her wealth: it is primarily old money, both of her parents--similar to her--born into wealth inherited from past generations. however, in spite of primarily consisting of old money, haltmann would eventually manage to hit it big through an ice cream machine & other similar appliances business he called the "Haltmann Works Company," thus the haltmann family would become a combination of both old & new money, so now…they've just gotten richer!!!!!!!!!!!! however, in terms of their ways & methodologies, they are VERY old money

despite the company's large success however, haltmann & susie would over time become much more distant: haltmann focusing on taking care of the company over his daughter & susie rarely ever able to see haltmann

however, as a still young & naive child, in order to feel some sort of closeness to her father again, susie would be inspired to share similar interests with her father, & would begin to secretly attempt to create inventions on her own

this would eventually cause her to get into a freak accident, leading her to retain a large scar on forehead hidden beneath her bangs & experience mild nerve damage on both arms that she would fortunately completely recover from after several months of physical therapy

however, at the moment, haltmann--fearful of what the press would say & the potential decrease in profits--would close her off from majority of the world, forcing her to keep her distance around others & a relatively low profile, even long after her recovery

that did not mean that he completely did not care for susie though, as during her slow recovery, haltmann would gift susie her mother's favorite silver pocket watch, "Star Dream," within it an old photo of him & her deceased mother carrying susie when she was around two months old.

unable to normally interact with others beyond the haltmann household now, susie would develop a large inferiority complex as she grew up, feeling the constant need to appear flawless & perfect. this would culminate into her often masking in many social situations, especially business related ones

regarding susie's school career, she lived her life going to the best private schools, receive perfect scores all across the board, took multiple extracurriculars --she was essentially your stereotypical perfect student

as stated previously, in high school, she would meet taranza, who was two years her senior & had similarly came from a wealthy background of old money. he would be the only person susie would ever consider a friend, her first real friend even (TARANZA SNATCHED THE TITLE FROM MK, WE LOVE A QUEEN LIKE THAT 💅💅💅)

however, despite being the supposed perfect student, susie was extremely emotionally stunted & very socially awkward, often keeping everyone at an arm's length & unwilling to let her walls down to anyone, not even taranza. she would get by through masking, using it as a defense mechanism--as if it were her against the world--& as a result, unintentionally isolating herself further.

after graduating high school, thanks to her extremely successful high school career, she would be immediately accepted into tokyo university, graduating with a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering

susie found tokyo university to be a breath of fresh air, a place where she felt she could just be: normal. she felt free during her time there, especially free from the constraints of her father. even though she still felt the need to keep up her prim & perfect persona--as the effects of her past basically already taken root deep into her identity--she nonetheless felt...free.

unfortunately, after graduating tokyo university, haltmann despite his success had been significantly dwindling in health, his health finally reaching a peak immediately after susie's graduation, falling into a crippled state

susie would be forced to go back to nagoya in order to take care of him & the haltmann household, frustratingly postponing her desires to pursue a life in tokyo but also causing her to feel an unreasonable sense of extreme guilt over the fact that she even wanted to abandon her responsibilities in nagoya to pursue her own aspirations in the first place (i specifically state "unreasonable" as it is not her fault for her father's poor health despite how she may feel, there is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing your aspirations, even if they might be different from what is expected of you by parents & peers)

however, over time after being hired & continuing to work at the nagoya train station, she would eventually find her job to be a blessing in disguise as despite losing opportunities to pursue a life in tokyo, she would be able to reconnect with her father & finally let down her walls (THANKS TO MK), developing genuine relationships for the very first time (HER FIRST ONE BEING MK --lowkey i feel like this is how mk would act, just a huge egomaniac, but he does so as half joke, half who he really is)

as a semi un/fortunate little tease: susie will eventually move on from her job as assistant station master to fulfill the new aspirations she's found after working at the train station. the good news however, is by that time, she'll be in a romantic relationship with mk (MAYBE EVEN MARRIED WHO FUCKIN KNOWS!!!!!!!!!! (i don't)) & still live in nagoya…with him. :DDDDDDDDDD

however, unlike susie's backstory, mk's is much sadder...because he's mk & there seems to be a large consensus that the fandom must torture him in some way 👍👍👍 (ALLEGEDLY ALLEGEDLY ALLEGEDLY, IN FORTNITE, IN MINECRAFT):

mk came from a middle class family with the typical stay at home mother & breadwinner father, thus living a fairly decent life in nagoya

however, while mk was still in middle school, his family would suffer a horrific car accident that would only leave him as the only survivor of the tragedy

this would quickly worsen as immediately after his parents' funeral, he was siphoned of all of assets, including his own house & essentially abandoned by the rest of his family

this would cause mk to become bitter & resentful of others, & he would establish a negative outlook of the world

with no money or home to go to, he had to immediately drop out of school after completing his middle school education in order to find a job --being just barely eligible enough to apply for any sort of occupation

fortunately, he would eventually find work as a full time janitor at the nagoya train station

there, he would meet gk, the current station master at the time --though during the first few months, they did not know each other very well--gk barely aware of mk's existence--only aware that they humorously shared the same surname despite not being related

however, one day, due to extreme exhaustion from working overtime literally every day & obviously not in the right mindset as a high school dropout who essentially lost everything, mk would nearly fall in front of an upcoming train, gk being just there enough in the nick of time to save mk

from that point on, gk would learn more about mk, primarily using vul as his main source of information (as mk would only talk to him out of everyone else in the unit)

through this, he came to the decision that he would help mk out, acting as his guardian, especially after learning about his orphan status

as his new guardian, gk would send mk back to school. however this would not be an easy task as mk didn't want to lose his job due to school (fearful that gk might abandon him like the rest of his remaining family did as well as potentially siphon all his money). thus gk would compromise, changing mk's schedule to part time during the weekends as well as personally pushed to pay for mk's expenses until mk was financially stable enough to move out as mk could barely afford any sort of rent or even groceries--but most importantly of all--afford a normal life again.

in addition, after graduating high school, gk & the rest of the current nagoya unit of that time would pitch in to help mk go to a junior college where he would pursue a major in mechanical engineering & achieve an associate's degree

living with gk would really change mk's initial negative outlook of the world to something much more positive. he can attribute some of his current eccentricities from gk such as his charm & borderline irrationality/overly elaborate nature as well as enjoyment for picking at susie (as gk teased him A LOT, though in a much more lighthearted way than what mk does to susie)

once finished with his studies, mk would move out & quickly climb up the ranks until he became assistant station master himself & eventually the new nagoya station master after gk’s retirement (who was at that point in his mid 70s, my man just enjoys trains yk)

after becoming the new nagoya station master, gk would gift mk his old gold pocket watch called "Galactic Nova"

he would work as the new station master for a bit over a year before meeting susie

funny little tidbit about gk since we've practically reached the end:

gk likes to call susie "mk's girlfriend," even before they were in a relationship (HE CAN SMELL LOVE FROM 1000KM AWAY)

he initially did this as a joke, but when it became real, he switched it up to "mk's wife." idk what he's gonna call her when she actually does become mk's wife. maybe just susie.

furthermore, when he learned susie called mk "Yumeta," whenever he refers to their relationship, he calls mk "Yumeta-chan" to get under his skin, but normally, he calls mk "Meta-chan" --unironically. he really enjoys using the "chan" honorific for mk & when i think about it, probably everyone. (this is a big headcanon of mine that goes beyond just this au)

eh, he's a retired old man, he can do whatever he wants as long as it's not illegal

ANYWAYS I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION, AGAIN, I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING LITERALLY NEXT YEAR TO ANSWER

[rotten7rat]

Jason Todd Playlist Analysis

PART 13

Seventeen Going Under by Sam Fender

I see this song being about Jason’s childhood, referencing his mother, Catherine, and his father, Willis. He’s struggled for his whole life, from the moment he was born to now, he’s always been “going under”.  The age of seventeen is less literal in this case, I just take it to mean child in general for Jason.

 I remember the sickness was forever

I remember snuff videos

Cold Septembers, the distances we covered

The fist fights on the beach, the bizzies round us up

Do it all again next week

An embryonic love

The first time that it scarred

Embarrass yourself for someone

Crying like a child

And the boy who kicked Tom's head in

Still bugs me now

That's the thing, it lingers

And claws you when you're down

Reference to the poverty the Todds experienced, Catherine’s illness, struggling to keep a roof over their heads, the violence Jason witnessed at home and just from growing up in Park Row in general. It’s a constant repetition one week to the next. The rest of this part could just reference snippets of Jason’s early childhood. There’s no escaping poverty, it just keeps pulling you down as soon as you think you’re doing better.

I was far too scared to hit him

But I would hit him in a heartbeat now

That's the thing with anger

It begs to stick around

So it can fleece you of your beauty

And leave you spent with nowt to offer

Makes you hurt the ones who love you

You hurt them like they're nothing

This part makes me think of Willis, taking shady jobs and working for Gotham’s rogues to support his family, but taking out his stress and frustrations on his family. Jason knows that Willis loved them, but there’s no denying that he hurt them. It could reference Catherine as well, with how she came to rely on drugs to deal with her illness, which obviously hurt Jason also. Jason has even less doubt in his mother’s love, but her addiction had a large impact on Jason’s childhood.

See I spent my teens enraged

Spiralin' in silence

And I armed myself with a grin

'Cause I was always the fuckin' joker

A mirrored picture of my old man

I know a lot of people talk about how Jason wasn’t angry, but he was, and that’s okay, it doesn't mean it was the only thing he felt. He had a lot of anger as a teen, and it did slip into his work as Robin. He started to see Willis in himself, and as a teen he was still angry at Willis for how he treated him and Catherine, and for leaving them to survive without him.

She said the debt, the debt, the debt

So I thought about shifting gear

And how she wept and wept and wept

Well, luck came and died 'round here

I see my mother

The DWP see a number

She cries on the floor encumbered

I'm seventeen going under

When Willis was sent to prison, and then killed, Jason and Catherine were left to fend for themselves. As Catherine got sicker, a lot of her care and general responsibilities fell onto Jason. Maybe he also started to steal and move drugs to provide for them, which distressed Catherine greatly. The government doesn’t see Catherine as a person, she doesn’t qualify for any help, and the only help Jason can receive takes him away from her. It’s an impossible situation. This goes on until Catherine dies, and then Jason is totally alone.

[skayafair]

John and Agency

I'm gonna be feral about Malevolent about John, of course, who am I kidding here for some time (we're SO BACK, yaaaay a hyperfixation!) so buckle up.

Another recurring big theme I've noticed that got some developement after part 40 is John's agency.

The thing he has to struggle with for the most part of the story is that he's utterly powerless. A former god reduced to a mere voice inside a man's head an the sight of his eyes. An arm and a foot give some leverage but it's still less than a human even, let alone any supernatural being. And while John is ok with being human - he wants to, after all, - he's not even remotely okay with being less than.

He rarely talks about it, but it shows so painfully in the mines, when he managed to cut the monster's tentacle from Arthur's head. Arthur wasn't doing anything, he was too overwhelmed, and it was completely John's doing. He managed not only do something influential on his own accord, but also be helfpul and basically save them both. Just how happy he sounded about it sells everything one needs to know about how he feels most the time. And Arthur dares to call him a parasite and a passenger who just sits back and does nothing, ugh. Not blaming Arthur here, he was in another Situation, but. I'm JUDGING anyway >:( And later, when he stitched Arthur up - John was so frustrated at how little he was capable of and how much effort it took to do this.

Another time his frustration shows is when he's talking to Kayne.

John HATES Kayne with passion and doesn't hide this. That's a remarkable thing, actually, considering that he's also a very cautious person and is afraid of Kayne, feeling just how powerful this being is. John doesn't deal with fear well. Whenever he encounters something frightening, his first response is a freeze one. And Kayne scares the shit out of him. Yet, every time John refers to him, it's with very audible animosity. John knows full well how dangerous Kayne is and doesn't give a damn.

If he could, he'd have obliterated Kayne. But that's the thing - he's p o w e r l e s s. So many times John tried to threaten him in anger with "I'll- I'll- !" - only to fall silent, because, well, he can't do anything. Couldn't have, really, even if he still had full King's power. But this stark contrast with Kayne emphasises just how little John is actually capable of in his current state.

And in part 40 it was reinforced again. Only this time after his little developement.

I LOVE this new ability to manifest. YAY FINALLY! I had a Hellsalem's Lot a.k.a. Kekkai Sensen AU when he could do exactly that, so it made me laugh to actually see this in canon.

It should help. Now John can do more. We don't know how much more - is his manifestation only a vision or he can influence the material world as well? Can he manipulate people's minds the way Yellow could? (John would hate this.) In any case, this is still... something. Something real, something of his own. A way to show the word he actually exists, and not only as a voice inside Arthur's mind. All John's issues with this considered, it a great thing.

So, now he technically isn't powerless anymore. He has power. It's better, right? Right?

Well there's a catch.

John won't ever be happy to be more present if it's on Arthur's expense, and that's exactly the cost his new abilities come with.

So while technically he has more power now, it's a "last resort" kind of thing. He can't use it much because killing Arthur is not even in the realm of the things he wants.

Still... I think it should have been euphoric - even if only for a short moment - to gain it. To feel more capable. To have more power. It's not an insane amount, after all, and in John's case is a perfectly reasonable desire - more like a need.

But how painful and devastating it should have been to be reminded by Kayne that he's actually still just as powerless as he was before? That this new ability doesn't change much? Kayne knows where to hit and does it every time.

Like, we know John is more capable now, and it's really great! But that moment when he had to shut up because there was nothing to say to Kayne's "you what?" has hit me like a truck :''') That was painful, like a "know your place", and John couldn't bite back. He was already drowning in guilt and this just made things worse. I don't want to imagine how he's feeling after all this :''')

[mr-geargrinder]

Gear's Gaming Gournal: I'm Yeeking out

I'm juggling too many projects, but one of the things I decided to do right now is finish playing YIIK: A Post-Modern RPG before the update drops. I started playing at the start of the year and then could not bring myself to keep playing, because it was just that miserable. Now the big update is out tomorrow and I have like.. 3 or 4 more hours of bullshit to slog through. I initially planned to blitz through the game before the update went live, which was announced December 31st, 2023...

This game is bad in ways I didn't originally think it was possible for games to be bad. Not just for the meme reasons, but for deeply technical reasons. This is a game that could have every scene and every chunk of dialog randomized and it would make about the same amount of sense, and would suck in the same ways to play, because the combat never improves, nor changes.

There's zero cohesion to the places you go, the things you learn, and the character moments that are vomited onto your lap in between enduring the worst, clunkiest, least fun, most unsatisfying combat system and character management mechanics you'll ever find in a game. This is a game that severely fucked up basic menu navigation, even after going through several major updates and fixes.

In a lot of ways, I think the meme of YIIK has undersold just how bad YIIK actually is. You expect it to just be hours of a fart-huffing pretentious hipster going "UHM ACTUALLY LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT METAPHYSICS AND VINYL RECORDS??" but it's worse in so many other ways. The whole game

Alex isn't even that bad. The problem is that he's at odds with the confines of his own fiction. It wants to be a story where Alex needs to learn to be a better person, but 1) he's not really, truly that bad, 2) he is trying to do good in his own dumb way, and 3) the story overtly makes him the most important person in all realities who must go to great lengths to save all realities from an endless cycle of destruction that he somehow caused (never explained), and that everything he's been obsessing over is all connected and it's just the nature of all realities and soul space and so on that he will always end up gravitating to these specific people, no matter who they are or what lives they're living, and always end up at the center of some inter-dimensional intersection of relationships and world ending supernatural problems. But the story pretends that's not the case and

Like the "who cares about your dead sister?!" scene hits different when you remember that moments earlier, they were just in what is supposed to be a life or death situation, but every character except Alex suddenly acts like none of that happened and they were just, I don't really know, standing in an empty sewer while Rory talked about being suicidal?

And at the same time, they yell at him for being insensitive, but don't correct him about there not being a sewer full of imitation Ninja turtle monsters and a super dangerous ("WE NEED TO RUN! NOW!!") inter-dimensional Alpaca warrior aided by several of the explicitly dangerous Soul Survivors, which are confirmed to be a real thing in the fiction. That seemingly really happened, but apparently it wasn't a big deal and is never mentioned ever again.

And that's what's so frustrating. The story wildly fluctuates between everything and anything on screen being simultaneously diegetic and not at the same time. Soul space and "the Mind dungeon" and leveling up are real, but at the same time, random battles and monsters are only vaguely acknowledged, but never addressed. There is a single instance of a character's combat power being mentioned in dialog, and another vague reference to "gaining abilities" by getting stronger, but the narrative never wants to make a clear ruling on what is "real", what is part of the story, and what is gamified abstraction. Instead of doing that, it's all of it, none of it, and a little of both whenever it needs to be.

This led to a lot of people who are silly enough to defend and praise the game to assume that Alex is an unreliable narrator and that nothing in the story happened exactly the way he explained. I think that's a terrible way to tell a bad story, which still means it's bad and doesn't explain why the combat system and menus and mind dungeon leveling system suck so much. Also, I don't think that's true for a second. I think ACKK went through many wildly different drafts. At one point they wanted to make hipster Earthbound. At another point, they wanted to make post-modern Scott Pilgrim. At yet another, they wanted to make Persona, but with more conspiracy theories, internet nonsense, and also the Elisa Lam case as the center piece.

And now they are remaking the game yet again, and going off the demo, instead of trying to capture the pure essence of the idea that they failed to execute, they are leaning into extremely exaggerated visuals and surreal nonsense that seems to lean extremely hard into the idea that it's saying things you can't understand, so you can't judge it unless you get it in the right ways.

It's a fascinating case study in game design and storytelling, but it's still a terrible game, and if there's anything I'm trying to say here it's that you shouldn't play YIIK. Maybe observer it from afar or just don't waste your time like I did and play something good instead.

[2dieavirgin]

how do you manage to stay so inspired to draw the same character a million times in a million different ways..... if i cant get it right first go i always just give up on them and they end up just smashing around my brain forever with no outlet :(

autism. no im just kidding (im not) but if i dont do it who else will!!!! thats my carrot on a stick. i HAVE to draw chase as mary magdalene because nobody else is crazy enough to do it for me. and its also fun to see how the interpretation of the character changes! my first chase drawings on paper look. honestly very little like chase. but thats half the fun of it! seeing how it slowly improves, or maybe it doesnt look like him at all the longer i draw him but it looks like how i feel he should look. if that makes sense. i dont think my chase drawings look like jesse spencer half of the time, but as long as i can kinda convey what i was going for im like hell yeah!

its soooo easy and normal to get frustrated with art, especially when something just Wont come out right. but, to me, the important thing is that you don't let that stop you from creating! art is about the process too, not just the result! you don't like how it came out the first time? that's fine! try again later, maybe on a different medium, or at a different place, or with a different reference, and you would not believe how much that helps. there's been times where i thought i'd be art blocked for LIFE and all i had to do was just.. maybe draw on my living room instead of drawing on my bed, or use colored pencils instead of pens. you know just keep the creative water flowing so you dont cultivate a swamp in your brain.

i think i got mega sidetracked but that's basically it.t o be fair tho it is mostly the autism that just makes me so attached to characters . chase isn't the first, or last time that this has happened. i'm just a big fan of putting guys in situations

[doin-just-fine]

What the brain doin?? PT. 6 of a questioning median system's journey

"Cloud's evening out"

Cloud fronted fronted for the first time a couple nights ago. This was the first time Cloud had been the dominant one fronting instead of myself.

I was hanging out with a member of my partner system who's basically an edgey rebellious teen, similar to Cloud. The goal that night was honestly for Cloud to just use me as the talking piece like usual. Cloud was already around because these two have hung out before but not formally, but Cloud liked the vibe last time and wanted to do a formal hang out at some point. So with him around I could tell that he definitely had influence over my emotions and certain attitudes but the power over that would fluctuate based on how interested Cloud was in what was happening. Like when me and our friend were just chatting about life and poking fun at each other Cloud was less interested in those conversations but if we switched to a topic that has been stressing out our trauma response Cloud would perk up and get closer because this was something he had big opinions about.

The music was right, the vibes were right, and all we needed was something that would make Cloud want to contribute to the vibe. We started talking about a situation that has been going on and our friend was airing out some grievances and Cloud wanted join in and talk about the stuff that been frustrating him about the situation. Once we started talking about the right stuff it felt like a smooth transition into being different. And thats accurate to how it felt, like me but different, in the weirdest way.

Like I said I'm always up front, and twice now I've ridden shotgun in the front this being the second time. With the little one I was still very much in control because they didn't seem to know what they were doing up front. But Cloud seems to know what he's doing up front so it was like I was just kinda waiting. Like when you're on a phone call with someone on speaker and someone else in the room starts talking to the person on the phone. Like it's your phone call and you're just kinda waiting for it to be your phone call again but currently someone else is using your phone call. I was kinda just waiting around for it to be my phone call again. I got to hear everything and be around for it all but didn't tune in too hard because it wasn't my phone call conversation to be apart of.

OBSERVATIONS: I will say there was a distinct difference in me being front holder and matching our friends energy and vibe VS Cloud being the front holder and just naturally having those vibes. When it was just me and our friend hanging out I would tune into myself to figure out how much of it was me and how much was Cloud. Like I said, Cloud had fluctuating influence over my attitude and emotions and I could make the distinction when it was just me, but when he was around that distinction went away.

Usually if I'm holding the front and someone is co-con, if I voice something for them and it mentions me in the 3rd person, saying it will feel weird. For most of my time questioning if I'm a median system, 3rd person language has felt weird because I'm always fronting. Not this time. This time I noticed that when Cloud would talk about me in the 3rd person it didn't feel weird to him.

I'm specifying that it didn't feel weird to him because I could feel myself farther back like how I usually experience my head-mates being around. Kinda there but just slightly next to you. I'm guessing I felt the my emotions distance through Cloud feeling them like how I usually do with him, and I could feel his feelings were more forward than my own. I could feel that to him referring to me in the 3rd person felt right but I could still feel myself finding it weird but it just felt duller and farther away.

Cloud could also tell that I was observing and "taking notes" everything that was happening and was actively making fun of me for it and got mildly annoyed about it because my observations were getting in the way of him being able to focus on hanging out. Because of this I couldn't take too many notes. The only other thing I noticed were the differences between myself and Cloud. My body language changed: I was really bouncy and couldn't sit still but he stuck with one position (to be fair he also gained a cat on his lap so). My opinions changed: I love cats and would have been thrilled to have a cat on my lap but Cloud was very neutral and if anything mildly annoyed by the cat (to be fair our friend we were hanging with is also like that so I'm not sure if Cloud was just copying behavior patterns to match their energy or not). My filter changed: When Cloud was out he had stronger opinions that I would typically try to keep to myself and deconstruct/questions before voicing them but Cloud would just say them. Use of phrases change: Phrases I typically would say would still be said out of habit almost but Cloud would notice that he would never actively choose to say those words in that order. He said something about needing to "spice up" his aesthetic and then actively hated that he just said spice up.

Once the hang out was deemed over we realized that I was trying to hard to observe and take notes on this experience and that I was kinda holding Cloud hostage because I wanted to keep taking notes making it really hard for him to leave. We decided that my partner would switch back in (because that alone would probably help) so they could help us switch out because not only was I holding Cloud hostage unintentionally, but he also expressed that he didn't know how to leave.

When my partner was out heres what I noticed: Cloud got shyer but tried to play it off. Saying "nice to meet you" didn't feel weird, and when my partner offered him to rest our head on their knee Cloud felt weird about it and chose not to. My partner switched the music to something more my style and Cloud really didn't like it and made fun of me for it.

I asked my partner what they thought/observed: They observed many of the things I mentioned here. They noticed that where I would normally push back with their alter in a teasing way on certain things they would say or do, Cloud would either make no comment or agree. I feel like that's in the same vain of Cloud having less of a filter. They were saying it was like a different version of myself where certain aspects of me were cranked up more. They mentioned that this is similar to their experiences with plurality.

Bonus observation: After I came back to being the front holder I could still feel Cloud really close by. I couldn't tell if it was just weird for us to actively think about switching instead of it happening subconsciously so he was like "caught on the chair" if you will or if it was that I was still holding him hostage a bit afterward. But we went to bed almost immediately after we switched around and I noticed that the next morning I could still feel Cloud being closer than usual. It didn't help that a hour after waking up, the situation that Cloud feels strongly about was stirred up some more, but that next day it felt really easy for him to slip in and I had to fight it off. Once my ADHD meds kicked in it got easier which was interesting.

AMNESIA: It's not like I don't remember the events that occurred while Cloud was holding front but it's like the memories are harder to recall. When I was discussing this with my partner they reminded me that our friend and Cloud agreed to hang out again when ever they could next and when reflecting on that it was from a 3rd person perspective. For me, only my old memories are in 3rd person POV. So for a fresh memory to be that way is weird. I also don't look like me in the memory but idk if that actually means anything.

I'm not sure what to make of this myself. I think I'm gonna try having Cloud hang around my partner who is very different personality wise and see how it effects or doesn't effect his behavior, as well as seeing if I can bring him out to the front like that by myself by finding other things that draws him out and not just talking about things that make him angry/protective. I will say if Cloud truly is a facet and not just me giving myself permission to feel and express specific negative emotions, he is very much a protector type. He pretends like he doesn't have opinions or that he doesn't care about anything but he does and when he does its intense. I also forgot my plan. I planned on trying to "turn around in the chair" the next time I was pushed to co-pilot instead of pilot and I totally forgot so we shall see next time, if I remember.

As always, Asks are welcome whether its questions, comments, or your own experience!!!

[kimberlyannharts]

LAST TIME ON RANGER ACADEMY - Sage and her friends took their big Buzzfeed "what ranger color are you?" quest to varying amounts of success - but the (apparently) worst outcome was given to Sage, who morphed into Green, a color that literally no one has ever been throughout the entire franchise.

Right?

It's Ranger Academy #5!

= is the story gay? the story sounds pretty gay

= see even Nika's like "Sage, there's literally only been like. three evil Greens in history. what are you talking about"

= heterosexual jumpscare

= SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT HOW FRUSTRATING IT IS TO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE TEACHERS OR THE SCHOOOOOOL the guidance counselor has such a unique design for a Sirian and I don't even know their name or their gender or even if they're supposed to be the same Sirian that teaches in the Red Campus (I assume not, since this seems like the Pink Campus??? but again we have no idea because we have no idea how the campuses operate and differ beyond their colors!!!! That being said, if they aren't the same one in Red Campus, then this school hires a lot of Sirians. Remember Crueger was here too. Aren't they supposed to be kind of dead.)

= anyway someone save Hot Dad already so we get the whole "Rhianth learns Ranger Academy is great actually" stuff out of the way

= oh we are setting up that mandated lesbian breakup, i KNOW IT!!!!!!!!!!

= the first real look at the Ranger Academy morph sequence and suits, for easy reference. Like I've said before, they're fine. At this point I'm more interested in the weapons situation for each color. If Pink gets a bow and arrow because "Pink Rangers are good archers" i'll literally lose it

= Tula officially #cancelled for not recognizing the validity of adopted families

= after mulling around a bit on this panel I'm going to assume that these "famous parents" will mostly be OCs, considering a) as I've posted before, there are clearer hints in this issue that this takes place far in the future, so even if we can bring in canon show characters due to time travel or whatever they would not be "parents" so much as "ancestors" and b) the book hasn't discussed yet what exactly a Ranger Academy graduate Ranger does after they leave school, so Parent Weekend would be the right time to bring that up. These kids are all just fucking nepo babies

= However I still live in fear of them randomly going "guess what? Jen and Wes's kid goes to Ranger Academy" and never elaborating

= Sage you're the protagonist in a magic school story. You will literally never have normal problems.

= Like I said before, I'm glad this issue kind of put Tula's character back on track after she was a little too antagonistic in the last few issues.......it was like they suddenly had some kind of rivalry, like when Jason and Tommy wo

ohhhhhhhhh...........

[guildtree]

EXCEPT IT'S WEDNESDAY BECAUSE I DO WHAT I WANT

Anyways, this is meant to be an opportunity for writers to do a "behind the scenes" look at one of their fanfics, something I've wanted to do for a while. I'm choosing Left Behind, my story about Taimi and Marjory becoming friends while recovering from Balthazar, because not only is it my first posted fanfic and one I still love, but because GOOD LORD does it have a story behind it.

So here's the tale: I wrote this thing in October of 2022, shortly after essentially dropping out of college. COVID had knocked me flat on my ass both mentally and physically, so I was still recovering from a pretty severe health crisis/depressive episode and had very little to do with my life. I'd started writing fiction again after a few years of not doing it at all. And then my uncle calls me up and says, "Hey, I'm going to Europe for three weeks, I know you're not busy, would you like to catsit my two kittens while I'm gone? I'll pay you." Obviously, I jumped at the chance to cuddle cute fluffy animals and earn money for it. Easy, right?

WRONG. First off, these kittens were not tiny fluffballs, they were five-month-old former-stray terrors that hadn't been fixed yet and still had tons of nervous energy. They caused chaos whenever I wasn't watching. Second, it took all of half a week for them both to somehow get sick with gonorrhea (honestly, they'd probably had it before and the symptoms just hadn't shown up yet). If you've never had to deal with two hyperactive, aggressively cuddly kittens with diarrhea ... be thankful. It was a disaster. Between taking them to the vet, giving them medicine regularly, cleaning up after them, and making sure they didn't break anything important, I wound up over at my uncle's house way more than I'd expected. Eventually, I just started dragging my laptop along so I could sit on the couch and write for hours while keeping the little fuzzy troublemakers in the corner of my eye.

I'd had the idea for Left Behind for a while - ever since I'd heard that little achievement line where Taimi mentions that Marjory's been calling her a lot and, "it seems like she's kinda lonely." (Which like, Marjory? Lonely? What? But then it clicked for me that she's not only alone, she's alone and injured, and she's probably feeling frustrated about not being able to do anything, much like Taimi has felt over several arcs, and ohhhhh... I can make them friends.) But I'd also be deluding myself if I said that nothing about my situation while writing bled into my work. I mean, I certainly had a good perspective on how much medicine sucks, and how hard being a caretaker can be, especially when the people (or cats) you're taking care of aren't cooperating! There are references to Taimi and Marjory being up at ungodly hours because I was up at ungodly hours trying to find the very small, pitch-black kitten who was hiding in the house somewhere because she really did not want to take her medicine. Some of the more out-there comedy is definitely influenced by that sleep deprivation as well.

But on a more serious note: I think the reason why my first posted story is at it's core about recovery and finding camaraderie in that recovery is because those were the things I needed at the time too. I mentioned that in October I was just starting to come out of a nasty depressive episode? I do mean just starting. I didn't feel good, I merely felt not terrible, which was a significant improvement but still didn't feel like enough. I think, consciously or not, I put a lot of my own hopes, wants, and frustrations into these characters. Hidden in Marjory's rage at feeling useless are a lot of my own frustrations about how my depressed brain simply wouldn't let me do things sometimes. In Taimi's fear of being forgotten are my own anxieties about how in taking a break from college I'd ruined my whole future. And their entire story of healing, growing closer, and finally moving on was what I wanted for myself most at that moment: a way out, a new start, and people who could understand and help me through all of that.

I wrote that entire fic over the three weeks I was catsitting, fending off kittens who wanted to step on my keyboard and chew my laptop wires the whole time. I finished a few days before my uncle was due to come home from Europe, and I was so exhausted and annoyed at that point, I was just like, "You know what, FINE, this is pretty good, why don't I post it." So I did, and then I went to go give the cats their meds and fall asleep, and when I woke up the next day there were 11 comments waiting for me, and I learned that people actually might like my writing and what I had to say. And now here we are 8 months later, I'm in a much better place, I've got a little community of friends and people who like my stuff, and writing has been a valuable hobby that brings me accomplishment and happiness. All because of my uncle's sick kittens xD

This got long, but it was a story I've wanted to tell for a while, so as always: thank you for reading.

[marvelousmop]

Mop's 2023

So, what have I gotten up to this year? Let's talk about this for far too long.

Jenny Over-There:

(Art by the [Complimentary Adjective] @aristidetwain)

Despite my initial assumption that Jenny Over-There would just be a one-off character I'd never used again, "Jenny Over-There - The 925 Universe" went on with five main-line stories, + 1 spinoff in the form of The Rhino Tower, and +2 Appearances in Arcbeatle Press Anthologies (The Cosmology of Sherlock Holmes and, more recently Coloth: Book of the Snowstorm)!

Over the course of the year, she's been relented to several frustrating situations including phone calls, a fake kidnapping (which I suppose is a step up from the real kidnapping that happened earlier), taking up the Man in Grey's job for the day and, worst of all, being relegated to the role of Side-Character in Lawyers and Tigers and Bears.

Speaking of, that Man in Grey sure did go through some developments, didn't he... There's some domino meme you could make that starts off with "Writing a novelisation featuring bootleg Cybermen" and ends with "Writing a human-presenting entity dating a giant humanoid mantis man"... Good for him!

The weirdest consequence of this has to be how this affected Doctor Know-It-All's character, since, in the Oz series, Professor Wogglebug is enlarged by a character named "Professor Nowitall" which, you may notice, is basically the same name... so Doctor Know-It-All is the Wogglebug's adoptive father now. Good for him! But this also changed the Professor's standing in Oz society, somewhat, since Oz does tend to put magic users in higher positions of power, which lead to the retcon in Lawyers and Tigers and Bears where it's revealed the Professor basically just asked his father to undo his banishment (as seen in A Series of Queer Events). Good golly.

Jenny Everywhere:

For the first time, I wrote about the OG Jenny in celebration of Jenny Everywhere Day! While The Rhino Tower features quite a few connections to the 925 Universe (featuring the 925 Universe's Jenny Everywhere, the Conan parody rendition of Grant Farrel/Thor, and even Albrecht D. Whipple, while not actually being from the 925 universe, is the nephew of the wizard cult leader, Artemas H. Whipple), I intended it to be readable without that knowledge.

Similarly, while it is a loose parody of the Conan story The Elephant in the Tower, it very much can be read without knowing that story (or indeed some of the other stories it references, including The Alchemist by H.P. Lovecraft, and The Black Tower by R.H. Barlow, the latter of which I wouldn't even reasonably expect anyone to get).

Also, I did a cover for it! Don't know where that blast of mild artistry came from, but I do know I haven't seen it since.

Work that has actually seen a competent editor:

While my talents certainly haven't gotten me far this year, I can always depend on Arcbeatle Press. For the April Fools anthology The Cosmology of Sherlock, I contributed two segments: Sherlock Versus Herlock (wherein Sherlock Holmes and Watson encounter Herlock Sholmes and Wilson) and Dark Dealings (wherein Watson takes a sponsorship deal from the Man in Grey - this was also referenced in Annals of the Jen).

More recently, I wrote the story Jenny Over-There's Wonderful Life for the anthology Coloth: The Book of the Snowstorm, wherein Jenny encounters a slightly overzealous angel who shows her just what the world would be like if she was gone (and if you think that sounds unoriginal, don't worry, I'm still working on a Christmas Carol pastiche).

I also contributed two pieces to the The Crew of the Copper Colored Cupids series: Crash Bang Wallop (a very very very very loose Fight Club parody - more of the book's writing style than anything), and Cupid Fact File - 150 Chaotic Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids Chortlers (inspired by a video I saw of this terrible joke book claiming to somehow have "Over 150 Great Pizza Jokes" - you can tell they were really stumped on how to live up to this promise, since three of the jokes have the premise of throwing a pizza into a lake, with the punchline being a lake pun).

What's Next?

I wasn't joking about doing a Christmas Carol retelling, I am writing that one... and it's going to be a big one. And it's not really Christmas-related (unlike last year's "A Very Jenny Over-There Christmas"), so I feel comfortable just releasing it whenever it's finished. Hopefully soon.

It's also been advertised in the back of a few Arcbeatle Press books at this point, so I guess I can comfortably say that I have written for Academy 27 Season 2! I won't say much about this story, except for it being a sequel to "Hall Pass".

Of course, I never plan too far, but I do have hopes for what 2024 will bring. I hope I get to work with more of the wonderful associates I've met since I started writing professionally, and I hope I get to know some of the newer faces that have popped up recently. I hope I stay creative, even as my life gets busier, and I hope this output reaches people and they enjoy it. I know there's such a thing as just writing for yourself, but also I do want my work to be seen by an understandably small audience that gets a quick chuckle. I hope I read more, and I hope that the price for miscellaneous baked goods goes down.

Happy New Year (but only to people who could be bothered to read this far)!

[realfernmayo]

I'm going with anon on this although I am a regular reader of your works/blog. It's in reference to a recent blog post about feeling like people find you annoying, etc. I don't know if you're referring to online interactions or F2F with people, but I'm sorry you feel that way.

FWIW, you're being awfully hard on yourself. I suppose it's easier said than done to relax that inner voice, but at the same time, perhaps people do not find you annoying at all? Not sure of the social situations to which you refer, but those cover a lot of ground when you think about it. For example,, chatting with acquaintances about one's passions is slightly different than friends. I am awful with reading cues from people (F2F) and then in text, there is the whole issue of reading tone and intent. Perhaps in the interactions, there are contextual communications that make you feel one way but the person(s) don't believe you're that way at all. Or, there are issues of which you are unaware that are making the communication difficult (for example, I had a personal loss that I didn't feel comfortable sharing with anyone too far outside of my social circle, but it did affect my ability to be a good listener on occasion so my attention was divided. I sometimes think that the old way of going into mourning helped with such types of interactions)

Anyway, I hope you don't interpret this as me telling you how to feel. Far from it. You feel the way you feel because that is what humans do. Feel. What I am attempting to relate is to encourage you to not give up on social interactions because it could just be that there are plenty of people who share your passions or enjoy listening to you describe your passions (it can be contagious you know!) or whose cues are being misinterpreted. Or, not. I suppose there are enough assholes or people who don't listen very well--we've all run into those types. But, those people are missing out on some really great conversations aren't they?

Sorry for the length of the 'ask.' I have a friend (not on Tumblr) who frequently calls me and one of the first things I used to do (and still do although nowadays she pre-empts me with a 'I need to vent') was ask her if she needed a problem solved or if she needed to vent. The reason being was that sometimes we just need someone with which to share our frustrations but not go into the 'here is what you might try mode.' Both can be positive interactions or negative depending upon the perspective of the two and I always liked to get that squared away so we weren't at cross purposes if that makes sense.

I wasn't sure if you were venting or otherwise, but again, FWIW, you matter and so do your feelings. Take care.

Heya nonnie!

Sorry it has taken me a few days to respond, you gave me alot to think about, lol.

Honestly, since no one interacted with that post, I didn't think anyone saw or cared, so thank you for making me feel valid and seen. It means alot.

I guess it's a combination of both online and IRL interactions. It's hard to make friends as an adult, and I am at the age where everyone has kids, and I am child free by choice, so I feel excluded from my real life friends quite a bit. I know people are just busy, and that's probably it, but my stupid brain just thinks everyone hates me.

The fact is, I am just lonely. Being disabled and chronically ill is incredibly isolating, and having online friends I interact with helps tremendously, but I just end up feeling like I'm bothering people.

I appreciate your very kind words, and the encouragement. This is something I have been working through with my therapist, and it's getting better, but I still have bad days.

Much love to you and anyone reading this!

[deastrumquodvicis]

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (review)

TL;DR: 4.25/5

Come with me on a romp that's part Shada (Doctor Who), a touch of City of Death (Doctor Who), part ghost story, and part tragedy of coincidence, with a hint of accidental clairvoyance.

Shada, in its unfinished form--specifically with the narrative interludes presented by Tom Baker--has always been one of my favorite Doctor Who stories, and when I heard that Chronotis got his own outing in a revised sort of way, I put this on my to-read list. A decade later, I've finally gotten around to it.

The Good:

Adams' evocative descriptions, often subverting normal expectations, are as delightful as always. They're often incredibly detailed and full of wordplay, but more than the actual words of the thing, they describe the feeling of the situation or the person. It made it very easy to picture St. Cedd's, and not just to picture it, but to smell it and feel it, from the humidity of a late-night fog to the texture of Chronotis's sofas. I'd forgotten how much I loved his descriptive writing, and, if anything, it stepped up from the first two Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy novels.

The concept of the Electric Monk as a commentary on computer automation was interesting, too, as were some of the other, very clearly dated, references to electronic music and what it could do, and that's part of its charm, really setting in a, well, setting. I very much want to see that data-to-music program.

The Bad:

Dirk himself doesn't show up into far later in the story than I would have anticipated. Indeed, for being a titular character, he doesn't have nearly as much to do as you'd think. Mind you, there were just enough characters to go around, and adding too many more names and visuals to keep track of would definitely have been too much (again, very typical Douglas Adams). The Electric Monk shows up just enough to understand the pieces of plot that were set into motion, but no more, and with my curiosity for worldbuilding, would have very much loved to see more of it as well as a reaction to the Salaxalan physical form (which we only get gleanings of from an early portion of the book, and the two are left to the reader to connect, which I didn't mind).

The Other:

Douglas Adams' style of semi-rambling, half-distracted-seeming prose isn't for everyone. I, personally, enjoy it, since my mind works in a similar way, but I can see how other people could find it frustrating. My familiarity with City of Death and Shada meant that I kind of knew where things were generally heading, but not enough to keep me from enjoying it (and no, I won't say which of the two Adams-penned Who stories factored more into the plot).

Things aren't wholly linear, even before time travel gets overtly involved, so, again, it's a book that takes a bit of focus. I liked this, but I can't tell if that's because I'm used to, and kind of prefer, nonlinear storytelling, or if it was just graspable enough to make sense.

The only thing it has in common with the short-lived TV series that was on BBC America was the general concept of Dirk Gently, so if you go in expecting a similar plot, you're not going to get it.

[sillybeansss]

okay wait before i start typing out my reply. THANK YOU??? i.dont know i just. DUFUJDFHHF THAT FEELS SO NICE TO. READ THANK YOU??? i genuinely cannot begin to express my gratitude,,,, but thank you!!! im proud of you, too!! i hope things get better for you in every way, and i mean that. 

i will try to reapond to each paragraph individually hold pn,,, ( < is currently writing this in the notes app because i dont trust tumblr )

yeah fair!!! itd be nice to expand my hobbies and interests, especially with something like instruments. i get what you mean about taking it slow and practicing. like i say, practice, while it may not always make perfect, makes progress. hence why its good to exercise your abilities! actually i cannot be talking i am extremely art blocked but ive been writing a lot lately and im honestly super happy about that!! also i might try to pursue piano, although ill ask my friend to try and teach me piano 101 since i dont want to pay for actual classes, especially since i dont know if its for me yet, so itd be kind of pointless to spend money on something i might not like. also might try picking up the flute again! maybe ordering a new book! said flute is still okay its just probably dirty. maybe i might move onto the sax or guitar…also. practice!!! again, practice makes progress! i can assure you that once you do it enough, youre going to be satisfied with the result. do it until it suffices, but dont overwork yourself either!!

i relate to this a lot actually!!! im trying to have a better mindset about the school than i did last year. because, although it can be frustrating sometimes, its not all terrible. my school is a school with no deficiencies, and were usually better than the district…so i guess i should be grateful for that! except for math. also you are very optimistic!! so yes, ‘twas obvious!!! ive always just seen you as like this silly guy who may or may not be energetic at times…though its probably projecting…but i can understand getting pissed off with some peers/schoolmates sometimes. it happens to the best of us. as long as it doesnt escalate a lot, its alright. i usually try to just keep everything i say short and sweet therefore they dont have much to use against me. if it wasnt obvious though i kind of suck at that because im a yap-o-tron

woawww…that sounds super cool!!! now that i think of it i was shown annie in like 4th grade so technically annie WAS actually my first musical…not that i payed much attention though. sometimes. my personal favorite is. EMBARRASSING…and i dont know how people havent found out yet because i keep making references

okay thats my individual reaponse to each paragraph…thats why it sounds kinda weird

~🫶🏽🎳

IM SOSO SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE 😭😭!!!

But for starters ACK TY!!! I'm super duper proud of you silly :33

And I highkey encourage you to try those instruments especially sax!! You seem thrilled about it and I think you'd like it ^_^ I usually try to practice but I am a heavy procrastinator especially since my interests are lowkey one of the biggest things I thinking about after school yk? ALSO ALSO YESSS DO THAT!!! Havia good mindset really helps my counseler always told me that and I thought it was dumb and such but she highkey has a point cause it really does help!! :33 and I think sometimes I am quite energetic I think it just matters the situation and how much I know said person if im with anyone :p

And yeah school just sucks sometimes but hopefully next year the guys will "calm down and mature" like my siblings keep telling me but I don't know if Im fully confident in that,,, but in my time will tell!! ^u^