#after she was like 'i feel bad for all the times i havent called you they or my kid D:'

[frankierohugejorts]

today my mom and i were talking to my uncle and my mom was telling him how my name is jes now, not [deadname] and it's important he respects that now. she left us alone for a couple minutes and he asked "so why don't you go by [deadname]? is it just discomfort or is it ~~political~~?" and i said "haha oh no it's discomfort"

later in the car, i was recounting this to my mom, and i said "he asked if it was ~political~ which sounded like he was asking 'are you transgender?' to which i was like haha the answer is yes but im not gonna tell you that"

to which my mom stopped and was like. you've. you've never told me you're transgender

and i was like "??? i came out to you seven years ago"

"no you didnt"

"yes i did."

"no you didn't"

"yes i did. remember that day in the car on the way home from work?"

"yes i remember that. you came out as gay"

"yeah, and then i literally said, 'since we're on the subject and I don't wanna have to do this again, im also trans' "

her eyes got so big and she goes "oh my god. i didn't hear you"

lemme tell you guys I fucking lost it dude I was laughing so hard, I was like "you've been calling me your kid and using they/them pronouns for years!"

and she's like "it seemed like it made you more comfortable!"

i said "why do you think my friends always give me trans flags?!"

she genuinely went "we're friends with jude! I thought. it was an ally thing?!"

truly I don't know how the car didn't crash we were laughing so hard, this is the single best coming out experience anyone has ever had

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

[f1amour]

˖ ࣪ 𖥔 BED CHEM

pairing | charles leclerc x singer!reader

face claim | olivia rodrigo

content warnings | some social media au, birthday sex, unprotected sex, oral, fingering, praise kink, soft dom!charles, edging, dirty talk, public sex, restroom sex, car sex —18+ only, minors do not interact

authors note | another belated birthday story but hope you guys enjoy!! maybe this’ll bring good luck for todays race :))

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liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, lilymhe, and 1,938,733 others

yourusername my everything. my world. all in one. i will always be thankful to be so lucky that i have found a love that will last a lifetime. meeting you was like listening to a song for the first time and knowing it would be my favorite. it’s you today and tomorrow, forever and always, in another world and universe; it’ll always be you. happiest of birthdays my charlie. i love you. 💌🧸

view commmets below…

user1 your honor i love them

user2 “meeting you was like listening to a song for the first time knowing it would be my favorite.” FUCK I WANT A LOVE LIKE THEIRS

charles_leclerc mon amour. mon soleil. ma lune. mon étoile. merci de m'aimer et d'être mon meilleur ami. tu es le meilleur cadeau que je puisse jamais avoir. je t'aime maintenant et dans tous les univers. [my love. my sun. my moon. my star. thank you for loving me and being my best friend. you are the best gift i could ever have. i love you now and in every universe.]

yourusername charlie🥹🥹 i love you so bad, baby. (thank you google translate🤞🏼)

user3 the best gift i could ever have…i aspire to have someone love me like this one day

arthur_leclerc you guy make me sick.

yourusername applications open someone please date my brother in law so he could stop third wheeling with us!!

arthur_leclerc fuck you i got 200 message requests now because of this🖕🏼

yourusername ur welcome 😙

user4 the relationship she has with his family is so cute and hilarious😭 the fact she calls them in laws🥹

lilymhe alex is crying after seeing your post.

yourusername mission accomplished 🫡 thank you and alex_albon for setting us up 🫶🏼

alex_albon okay so when is the wedding?

charles_leclerc soon😉

yourusername YOU HAVENT EVEN ASKED ME?!

charles_leclerc i know but soon…i know you’ll be my wife

lilymhe great he’s crying again

user4 i can’t believe they’ve been dating four years now it’s CRAZY

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yourusername posted three stories!

slide 1/3 surprise!! my new single bed chem is out now dedicated to my favorite libra

slide 2/3 bed chem music video out at midnight, can you guess who the special guest is?

slide 3/3 the day that we met he was wearing this white jacket and now four years later he wore it once again for the music video…hope you guys enjoy it as much as i did ;)

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AUSTIN, TEXAS. 2024.

“what if someone hears us?” you breathe out shakily while charles’ lips are attached to your neck. his hands digging into your hips giving it a soft squeeze before he spins your around almost bending you over the counter and facing the mirror.

“has that ever stopped us? come on, baby. it is my birthday after all and you said i can have whatever i want. what i want is you,” his fingers slip under your skirt, pushing your panties to the side, “i think you want it too. you’re soaked for me.” charles kisses your shoulders as he adds two fingers, slowly stretching you out with your eyes connected to his through the mirror.

“remember our first date? you were practically begging for me to fuck you on the table right there in front of everyone. but only i get to ever see you like this, a mess for me,” he taunts, fingers moving deep inside of you, curling against your g-spot as he pushes your face to the side pulling you in for a deep kiss until you were both gasping for air.

“charlie, wanna cum…please,” you choke out, already feeling close with your walls fluttering around him. you push yourself against him already feeling his cock through his pants, you needed him.

"uh uh, baby," he purrs, "tonight is my night so i want you to cum all over my cock. before that i wanna come in your pretty mouth. on your knees, cherie.” he slowly pulls his fingers out and you moan at the loss of fullness before he’s tapping your ass signaling to kneel on the cold tiles.

charles’ eyes grow darker as you sink down on your knees and pull his pants down, his cock springs free. without notice you wrap your lips around the tip of him and his pre-cum coats your tongue as you take him further.

“mon dieu bébé, ta bouche est tellement parfaite. merde,” his hand tangle in your hair and around the back of your neck. your hand wraps around whatever doesn’t fit in your mouth and you speed up your movements, “shit. ‘m gonna cum mon amour.” he groans as you hollow your cheeks around him.

with just a few more strokes before thick ropes of cum fill your mouth, charles’ head thrown back in pleasure catching his breath before helping you up. he wipes the tears off your face gives you a sweet kiss teeth clashing as you both smile, “i love you so much.” laughter now fills the restroom as you jinx each other with the sentence.

his hand intertwined with yours after fixing each other’s appearance you walk out of the restroom and go back to sit down at the dinner where some of the other drivers and their partners were seated.

“fucking finally! you filthy whores we’ve been waiting 20 minutes for you guys. couldn’t you wait until after dessert!” max curses at the two of you and you give him the finger before sitting next to charles and lily right beside you,

“i got my dessert already.” you chuckle leaning your head on charles, his hand resting on your thigh. the rest of the group doesn’t mind, seeing the two of you with a smitten smile obviously enjoying yourselves but their faces turn sour at max’s next comment, “yeah, a salty one.”

“max!”

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after dinner you all headed out to your own cars and to the club where the real birthday celebrations would start for charles. however, you had one small wish to make on your behalf despite it not being your day. “don’t pout at me, baby. what’s wrong?” charles rubbed his thumb on your knee as he drove to the next destination.

“what’s wrong? you didn’t let me cum! i gave you a fucking blowjob with my knees on a filthy floor and i don’t get to cum? it’s your birthday but…i’m mad. i gave you a song, an entire album this year, i gave you leo, and what do i get? nothing!” you cross your arms and push his hand away.

“my love, is that why you’re upset? fine,” he takes a quick turn into an empty parking lot and you look at him confused because this certainly wasn’t the club you had booked. “charles, this isn’t the—.” you stop when he undoes your seatbelt and places you on his lap.

“have your way with me, ma chérie,” he leans in pulling you into a kiss, his hands on your face as you deepen the kiss and roll your hips against his causing him to let out a groan. clothes are quickly shrugged off to where your aching pussy rubs against his hardened cock.

his cock slipping in as you let yourself moan as he stretches you, “you take me so well," he grunts. "that’s my girl, just relax for me. gonna give you exactly what you want.”

now fully seated on charles, cock deep inside of you as he holds your face in his hands, “j'aime toujours à quel point tu es jolie quand je t'ai comme ça. [always love how pretty you look when i have you like this].” he grunts letting you rock your hips against him.

“still don’t know what you’re saying but i love how you talk to me in french,” you press your lips to his as he squeezes your hips. he thrusts up meeting your movements as well causing you both to let out loud moans as the car shakes, “tu me prends si bien, chérie. [you take me so well, sweetheart.]”

"don't stop, please, don't stop." you whimper feeling one of his hands pull away from your hip but gasp when it goes to your clit adding pressure to it, “charlie,” your moans coming out loud and needy, grabbing onto his shoulder and fucking yourself harder on him.

charles can’t help but let out a string of curse words mixed in french and italian. you have no idea what he is saying other than his usual pet names for you but it has you close to your orgasm and he could tell, “that’s it, baby. taking my cock so well give me a little more and you can cum.” he grabs you close to him your chest pressed against his as he forces himself up into you hitting your sweet spot with every thrust.

“cum with me, pretty girl.” a small nod and you capture his lips in yours letting out a moan against his soft lips as you reach your orgasm. a loud groan escapes his chest as he empties himself inside you.

you let a few minutes pass as you both catch your breaths and share a few sweet kisses, “best birthday ever, from my favorite gift ever. i love you,” charles smiles at you, his cock still buried deep inside you making the moment much more intimate for you, “i you, charlie.” you kiss his nose which makes him let out a low chuckle.

“we should probably get going before—.” as charles speaks up about heading to the club some bright car lights shine in your faces causing you to wince. you jump up startled when you hear a knock on the window, “fuck! mon amour…still inside you,” charles groans feeling your walls clench around his cock.

“you guys have been gone for an hour! we get it you like to fuck but we couldn’t get into the club until you arrived. i need a fucking drink!” max yells through the window stressed as if you had missed an importat meeting. in his eyes, you did.

however, his little tantrum caused the two of you to throw yourselves into a fit of giggles as he curses in dutch the only words you can understand are gin & tonic. “best birthday.” charles repeats, his loving smile directed at you. his best gift ever.

[eddiemunsons-missingnipple]

Just imagining what it would be like for you and Eddie to both drunk and looking for each other. You don't realize you've been talking to one another the whole time.

Steve's party had been going on now practically all night. You and Eddie arrived hours ago, and now you can't seem to find each other. He went off with his friends, and so did you. You mingled and stayed close together when you first got there. But soon, you unintentionally drifted away the drunker you got.

Your face was tingling, and your head felt so heavy. Your whole body just wasn't corporating. Your limbs felt like they were in a constant battle to keep you standing or even walking straight. You kept calling out for Eddie.

You wanted to go home but knew he wasn't driving. Not in the condition he was probably in. He got drunk way before you did. You saw him throwing back shot after shot. Then chasing it down with his favorite beer, a pbr. The thought of the taste is already making you gag. He was a lightweight no matter how much he tried arguing against it.

You were stumbling and kept calling for your boyfriend. "Eddie!"

You even grabbed some random dude just because he had longish hair. He was definitely not your Eddie. You made a face of diagust and mumbled "ew" under your breath when the guy turned around.

The party kept getting louder the drunker you became. Everyone kinda started looking a like. Your vision was nothing but a blur. You even confused Nancy for Steve at one point. All because she had on his jacket.

The funny thing is that she never even bothered to correct you. If it wasn't for Robin speaking up to tell you, it was actually Nancy you were talking to. You would still be calling her Steve the rest of the time.

The killer hangover you're destined to have in the morning made you wish you never started drinking tonight. Too late. You knew you were screwed by the fifth shot of tequila. You and Eddie were going to be in misery.

You stumble again and flop down on the couch next to someone. A man who you really can't even focus on any distinctive features. He's just there slumped back with his legs spread open holding a candle that he assumed was his beer can.

You may be drunk off your ass but not drunk enough to mistake a candle for a can of beer. You look over, and he's nothing but a blurry figure to you. You blink and blink, trying to figure out who he is. Your drunkened mind comes up with nothing. He is another stranger to you. Little did you know that's actually your boyfriend. Who you have been on the hunt for all night long.

You heard him mumbling something in coherent over and over again.

"What you say?" You slurred.

He burped before repeating. "I said you have seen my girlfriend? She's cute. You can't miss her."

"Oh no havent seen her...m'lookin for my boyfriend actually. He's a nerd you can't miss'em" you giggled and sat up a little.

"Haven't seen any nerds around." Eddie quipped and went to take a drink from the candle.

He made a face when nothing went into his mouth. He still has yet to notice his actual beer is on the table.

"Been lookin' for her all night. I even cried at the beer keg." He sounded like he was about to cry again. "Guys out there forced me to come sit down to calm myself."

You put your hand on his shoulder to comfort him. He sounded so sad you couldn't help but feel bad for him. "She's around here somewhere."

"My boyfriend is missing too, startin' to think he's in a bush passed out." You rubbed your eyes and laid back against the couch.

Eddie snorts and goes in his pocket to grab his pack of cigarettes.

"All I know is when I find that little shit I can pass out in peace." He slurred and practically ripped open his pack of cigarettes to get one out.

"Yeah, me too-- When I find my boyfriend, I'm passing out too." You hiccuped, and your eyes slowly got heavier. The party started to die down a lot. People were falling asleep or walking home.

"When you'd get here?" Eddie turned to face you. "Been lookin' for you all night!"

[t0msvi4gra]

This might be weird and controversial but can you write like a smut scene where tom is like a teacher and he's a married man with children and stuff and there's like an age gap between him and the reader, who is rebellious and failing his subject. One day after tom has finished correcting the exams and noticed how she failed again he was completely fed up and called her to his office and she was wearing very provocative clothing (a mine skirt and a blouse that shows her cleavage) and she tries to flirt with tom to let her pass and at some point he gets really fed up and bends her over the table/spanks her and says stuff like "you dirty fucking slut", while lecturing her on her bad grades after that he fingers her but he doesn't all the way have sex with he cus he remembers his wife and shi but he just couldn't control himself

its not weird at all!! i promise my acc is a safe space for your fantasies or anything!!

AGE GAP | TOM KAULITZ X READER

warning: reader is 18, tom is 26

you have always been a good student, you’ve got good grades and you’ve turned in your work on time, but professor kaulitz’s class is challenging for you and you’ve really really tried.

but you turned in a test to him but the next day, tom asked to see you in his classroom.

“yes sir? you wanted to see me.” you ask hovering your books over your skirt. “yes please sit.” he says as he gets up and puts your test on your desk. “whats going on? why havent you been asking me for help? or your peers?” he asks softly but sternly.

“i dont know. im sorry. im trying i swear.” you say fidgeting with your fingers.

“so what i’m gonna have you do is stay after so we can go over the questions, then you can retake tomorrow in class okay?”

“but sir i cant-“ he cuts you off “doesnt matter you need to arrange that okay? you have your notes.” you reluctantly nod. “fine.”

you look up at him for a few seconds. you always found him hot… and the things he could do to you. you quickly stop thinking like that but you feel yourself getting wet. you shut your legs tighter together and you start to correct your test.

“whats wrong, honey?” he asks with mock innocence. “n-nothing, sir. just cold.” you gulp and he gets closer and he puts his hand on your thigh, his hand traveling up.

his hand reaches your panties. “come on, focus baby.” he says teasing you as he gently rubs your clit through your panties.

“s-so this- p-art me..means..” you get cut off my the feeling of his fingers on your clit. “means what baby?” he whispers in your ear. “means.. divide right?” you manage to say. “mhm… now solve it for me.” he says lowly and he puts your hands in your panties. “this is what happens when you dont put effort in my tests..” he whispers and he puts his hand in your panties and he inserts his fingers in you. “damn youre so wet.” he says as you throw your head back and he covers your mouth so no one would hear you. “shh shh…” he shushs you as you squirt a little and it drips on the floor and he pulls his fingers out.

“bend over my desk.” he commands as you get up and bend over his desk and he pushes pencils and papers off so you have room. “damn this tight ass… i bet that pussy is tight too huh?” he says almost jokingly.

“sir, dont you have a wife and 2 kids?” you ask innocently…

“mhm but shes a little slut anyway… all she does is cheat and get drunk everyday.. i bet your pussy is so much better.” he rubs your ass. “this is what you get for being a bad student.” he smacks your ass hard, leaving a red handprint and you yelp and he smacks you again. “shut the fuck up. you dont want to get caught do you?” he says pulling tour panties down. “no sir i dont.” you say muffling your voice.

“good.”

he bends down to lick at your pussy juices. “fuck yes, so good.. mmm” he moans against your pussy before coming back up and aiming his cock at your pussy from behind.

“you ready?” he asks before slamming into you. “tom! oh fu-“ he slaps your ass. “what the hell did i say about screaming?”

“s-s-sorry.. it feels so good..” you whimper, trying to suppress your moans.

youre parents call you. “st-stop.. my parents are calling.” he picks up the phone. “listen to how good your daughter feels.” he puts the mic to your mouth as you whimper. he chuckles and hangs up, pounding the fuck out of you. “youre such a bad fucking girl… such a bad slut…” he grabs your hips roughly.

“cum for me sweetheart.” he groans loudly.

“you can do it come on.” he pounds you harder as you squirt and cum all over his cock. “oh fuck yes, im cumming!” he yells out, not even bothering if he gets caught. he pulls out, watching his cum drip out of you.

he pulls his pants up and helps you to do the same.

“fuck that was amazing, baby.” he chuckles

“great now my parents are gonna ground me.” you sigh.

“oh shush you liked it.” he says with his hot accent. “maybe i did.” you shake from the pleasure.

“now you have to do those corrections okay? and wear something less showy.” he points to your cleavage.

[eatmeandbirthmeagain]

HEY GWORL GUESS WHO IT IS 💫. I'M BORED ASF DOING REVISION SO IMMA GIVE YOU A FIC PROMPT 😊😊

Okay so Baldwin doesn't realise this but he has severe separation anxiety from you, and one day you go away to visit a sick relative and he's so lonely all day and he's just mooching about the library and the stables etc etc. When you come back in the evening you realise just how much he missed you and you feel bad about leaving him and you both fall asleep curled up together 💗 (Also you don't HAVE to do this but when they're cuddling at the end of the day Baldwin's golden hair has to be out and you're running your fingers through it when you're reassuring him)

I KNOW YOU'RE SUPER BUSY SO PLZ IGNORE THIS IF YOU HAVE TO DW 🙏🙏

♡ Beautiful Boy - King Baldwin x Reader ♡

♡ Fluff ♡

A/N: Hello Maddy!! Thank you so much for the request girl this is so cute 😭. Havent heard from you for a while, I hope youre doing well 🩷! As always, this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figures. Enjoy!

PS: F/n = Fathers name. I use that term in this oneshot 😅

TW: Leprosy, Separation Anxiety

It had been a few years since the marriage between the king of Jerusalem and the daughter of Lord f/n.

In the time the two had been married, there was rarely a day they spent apart. Every moment of each day was spent together, whether it be in conversation or comfortable silence.

Baldwin, who before his wedding was used to a life of solitude, welcomed the company with open arms. He loved having not just a wife, but a companion who he could share each and every one of his deepest thoughts with.

After so many years of being alone, he was finally whole. He adored being around y/n and she adored being around him. They were perfect for eachother.

But it was not until one day that the young king realized just how much the absence of his wife affected him. He knew that he missed her when she was gone, even if it was for only a few minutes. But he was not aware that her absence could possibly destress him until y/n’s father fell ill.

It was necessary that she went to see him, despite Baldwin not being able to attend by order of his physicians.

“I will be back before sundown” y/n told him with a smile as she mounted her horse.

“I promise you”

“Very well, just please be safe,” the young king replied.

Baldwin found himself fighting back tears as she rode off into the desert, leaving him to watch her disappear into the horizon. He thought about what to do while she was gone.

It was a slow day in the kingdom, not a whole lot to do. Usually on days like this, he and the queen would sit in their shared chambers, playing chess, reading together or just talking about anything.

But not today.

First, Baldwin headed for the library. He ascended the stairs, stopping a few times to catch his breath on account of the mask that restricted his breathing more than it already was.

Cursing under his breath, he finally made it to the library. Baldwin walked silently through the rows and rows of books, wishing that his wife was there to look with him.

Once or twice, he even caught himself calling out her name to come and see an interesting paper he found, only to be met with silence. With a heavy sigh, Baldwin began to descend the stairs once again after finding no cure to his loneliness amongst the books.

He went to the stables, the courtyard, even the kitchen before returning to his chambers after a few hours.

Taking a seat at his desk, the young king felt tears well in his eyes. He felt so alone without her. So anxious and strangely vulnerable. What was happening to him? A man should not rely so heavily on his wife for such things, but he did.

Baldwin pondered this for a while and just when he felt as if he would finally cry, the chamber doors opened and y/n entered the room with a smile.

“Hello darling, how was your day?” she asked cheerfully, putting her bag down.

Baldwin rushed to his wife, wrapping his arms around her neck and pulling her into a tight hug.

“Oh- you missed me did you?” she chuckled, startled by his sudden affection.

Baldwin did not reply, just hugged her tighter and squeezed his eyes shut. Y/n returned the hug, rubbing her husband's back gently. She reached up and pulled his veil off to reveal silky blonde curls before running her hand through them, scratching him behind the ear and over the scalp.

Baldwin groaned softly at the feeling of her hands working away the growing migraine in his head.

“It's getting late, why don't we get some rest hm?” y/n said softly, the young king only nodded in reply. 

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Baldwin did not let go of his wife a single time as they were getting ready for bed. He was either holding her hand or resting his chin on her shoulder, so y/n never got more than a foot away before he was back by her side.

It was amongst this and his greeting that made y/n realize he had missed her much more than she believed he would. Baldwin had always been somewhat clingy but this hurt her heart. He was so deeply attached to her that it made her never wanted to leave his side again.

Once in bed, Baldwin was very quick to snuggle into his wife.

“You missed me today huh?” y/n said gently, running her fingers through his hair.

Baldwin nodded.

“I missed you too, my love. But I am back now, and I will always come back. No matter how long I'm gone”.

The young king looked up at his wife and smiled. She loved seeing his smile without the mask. He had the cutest little smile and his bright blue eyes always glowed when he looked at her.

Y/n kissed her husband's forehead, pushing a golden curl away from his eye. She cupped his mottled face in her hand. In return, Baldwin nuzzled his cheek into her palm, looking up at her with a dreamy smile.

“You're so beautiful Baldwin” she whispered. “My beautiful boy” 

“I love you y/n” the young king said, the dreamy smile never once leaving his face.

“I love you too Baldwin. And I always will”.

Y/n held her husband close to her that night as he dozed off to sleep in her arms. She waited until he was fast asleep before closing her eyes, just to ensure that he was alright.

Before long, both the young king and queen were sleeping peacefully, curled up together in each other's embrace.

Exactly where they wanted to be.

[hearts4werka]

Graduation Surprise

- 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐘 : 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅 -

Summary: Today was the day you’ve been working for very hard, graduation day. You don’t know how but managed to graduate with the highest GPA in your class, if you couldn’t think things could get bad now, they did. After some issues occurring in your family, none of your family members attended your graduation. Thankfully there were your friends who could attend and filled up the spots in the room, cheering me on the whole day as I finally gave the biggest speech of my life. A surprise celebratory graduation dinner is hosted by your friends at a fancy restaurant, but little did you know there was more to come in the surprise…

Warnings: mentions of suicide, grief over the passing of a loved one, family issues, ?mentions of verbal abuse?, swearing and possibly more that may trigger some readers!

- > This was requested by this anon request so big thanks to them for the idea!

Today is the best day of my life, and the worst. Its graduation day. Its not like I havent done good in school, quite the opposite actually, I'm graduating with the title of the top student with the highest GPA in my class. With this big of an achievement, I couldnt be more happy with my life but for as much as I am feeling eternal happiness with myself, theres this small pit inside of me that dreaded this day for as long as my mother was not speaking to me.

After the one unfortunate day I've had enough of her blaming for evey small little misfortune happen in her life, finally standing up for myself and telling her how I feel about her constantly victimizing herself like she isnt the problem, now slightly backfired on me. From how bad the argument ended up to be she refuses to attend the most important day of her own daughters life, graduation day. Even with all of my success achieved at my age she still calls me acomplete dosgrace to this family and a failure, Ive done all in my power to prove her wrong and I did but her opinion seems to remain the same about me.

I've cried and vented about it all to my best friend, Chris who seems to be the only person who has my back and always denies any of my mothers hurtful words, always cuddling me in his arms until my sobs calmed down to a substainal level or until out of exhaustion I fell unconcious, it wasnt our first fight but it never was this bad as it was this time to cut off any speaking words between us. We all used to be the perfect picture family everyone wanted to be like us, looked up to us but ever since my father left us and not awhile after commited suicide it all has flipped my world around, only bad things came my way after that unfortunate event accured and I used to agree with all of my mothers claims that it was all my fault, that I wasnt a good enough daughter to him and that I ddidnt love him enough.

I loved him more than I could love anyone ever, he was the man I looked up to everyday and wanted to be him one day. To make him proud of me, I hope he is looking down at me and smilling at my accomplishments with me. No matter how hard I fight back the pricking tears swelling in my eyes whenever I think of him, I just cant fight them long and would go so far to have a breakdown when I'm hanging around Chris cause I know he;s the one person who wont judge me and instead of asking if im okay, will just scoop the sobbing mess ive made of myself and cradle me until I calmed down.

• 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

As I nervously stand in the line to finally receive my diploma, my fingers fiddling with my gown I glance around the crowded area filled with the rest of the students parents and loved ones I spot Chris, Matt, Nick, Quen, Larray and Madi sitting in black chairs as the amazing people I am glad to call my friends with full proudness spread across all of their faces, cheering me on from the distance and silently reassuring me everything is fine. I chuckle silently as a small smile rises on my face, the nervousness still swirling on my face but now overcomed by the excitement and pure happiness the most important day has finally came.

Next to all of them is a single empty chair left as I imagine my father sitting down on it, or his deceased ghost, smilling and clapping with all of the others. I feel his looming presence in the air which makes it just sweeter and better to breathe into my lungs. As I stepped closer and closer to the final point, I breathed in a sharp breath before steppng onto the stage and being handed the diploma ive wanted to hold in my hands for so long, I am ripped out of my thoughs as I hear very loud cheering and my eyes rip away from the piece of paper in my hand and notice all of my friends standing up, applauding and cheering as loud as they were allowed to.

My face immediately lights up at the sight, giving them a quick wave before proceeding with the remainder of the graduation ahead of me. Shaking the professors hands with silent 'congratulations' and 'thank you's passed by before I take a seat next to the other honoured students next to the stage, getting ready to at the end of the event present a speech. Not all of us are giving one since not everyone wanted or agreed to do one, I keep on thinking of what I could possibly say on the stand, which words to let fall from my lips and whic are inappropriate to speak out loud.

I listen to the other students speeches, most of them thanking their family for all of the support they received during this path in their life up until this moment, how they achieved what they managed to in this journey. Before I know it, its my turn and my name gets called up on the stand for now my speech, with a shaky breath I stand up from my seat and make my way over to the last thing I need to do before finally graduating from college and moving on with my life.

Clearing my throat to seek any hidden motivation and confidence in the dark shadowy corners of my mind to put it towards this speech but the only positive thing thats surrounding the tense air around me is the comforting presence of my father, oh how I would love for him to witness this moment and live in it with me right now. I'm doing it again, I'm thinking about my father too much that I wont be able to speak, I take another deep breath to regain the lost confidence before I finally begin my speech and loose myself in the words which just start to flow past my lips.

"Um Hi everyone, so today is an inportant day for all of us which is graduation day. Thank all of you for coming here and supporting your child, finally receiving that diploma they worked so hard to achieve and hold in their hands. I would really love to thank my amazing friends who came along to give me the support I needed in this day, but there is one more person I would like to thank..." I let out a shaky exhale before I continue on. "I would love to thank my dear father who didnt have the fortune to be here today due to a very sensitive topic for many of us so to not make this too long I wont get into detail."

"He was my hero, the person I looked up to all my life and the best father you could ever ask for. I know he is looking down at all of us and is so proud of evey child inside of this building, even if its not his, he always made sure to include everyone in the smallest little things who to the average person wouldnt matter as much as it did to him. If youre somewhere here with us dad, I just have one last thing to say to you before they kick me off this stage for making this too long. I love you with all of my heart and dedicate this whole journey and diploma to you." raising the diploma in my hand into the air, small tears prick my eyes as the whole room breaks into cheers and everyone applauding me and I havent felt better in my life.

I step off the stage and reunite with my friends, passing through the crowded area before I immediately fall into Chris's open arms. Everyone joining the hug and continuing to praise my beautiful speech with all kinds of kind words that just go straught to my heart as if taking it into warm arms and never pulling away. "That was absolutely amazing, like im shocked by how heart-spoken those words were" I hear Nick state in a proud tone with a slight undertone of joking to lighten up the mood as the rest of the others chime in with their own words as we all pull away from each other. "Girl we are so proud of you." Larray speaks up louder than the others and pulls me into a seperate hug of his own, soon everyone else follows behind now with Chris being left for last.

Without hesitation he grabs ahold of my waist and pulls me into his chest, his face burying into my hair and inhaling the sweet scent left behind from my shampoo i've used this morning. I nuzzle my face into his chest and breathe in the scent of his cologne I always love smelling, its my favorite out of all of the previous ones he had in the past. "I am so proud of you, sweetheart. You totally nailed it at making the whole room cry, including us." He admits while speaking against my hair, a soft chuckle following suite which also makes me chuckle as well as the others around us, we stand in each others arms fir a few more minutes before finally pulling away.

"Now its time for celebratory dinner!" Matt cheers as the group chuckles at his enthusiasm, we wait for the whole ceremony go come to an end and everyone will be allowed to go home before we make our way out of the building alongside all of the others. All of us split and go out separate ways to get ready for the dinner, I don’t know what to expect since they didn’t tell me much besides the fact we’re going to a dinner at some kind of restaurant after my graduation but they informed me before-hand to dress up elegant so my mind started to assume the different places we could go dine at.

! -- boom boom -- !

I relax under the hot water spraying onto my body from the shower head secured to the marble wall, there’s about an hour before they will be knocking at my door to pick me up. Still, I take my sweet time with my shower as it washes all of the stress and nervousness away in the form of hot water droplets dripping from my nude body. Switching off the shower and stepping out of the shower I wrap a fluffy tower around my torso, absorbing the water that was left behind on my skin as I scout around the room, finishing up the business I needed to get done in the bathroom before I leave my towel to dry and walk out of the bathroom.

My eyes land on the black asymmetrical dress lying down on my bed that Chris gifted me not so long ago, now got me guessing if he was planning this before-hand. Alongside with a white pearly necklace with matching earrings that was also a gift but a bit of an old one now coming from my father before he passed away, I still kept the suicide letter he left for me and put them on top of it so I am reminded of how valuable this gift actually is each time I put them on. Now lastly a silver watch with two rings - 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 https://pin.it/2tcBbHAtN

I’ve precisely lied down my outfit to get a visual of it, expecting I would use most of my time in the showerWalking over to imy wardrobe I pick out a fresh parei of underwear with a bra to matcabd a bra, quickly slipping both ite,s onto my body before now moving onto the official outfit. I havent had the dress on yet since I didnt really have a specific reason to put it on but today its a special day and that calls for a special outfit, the dress fits my body like a glove and is tight in all of the right places. walking to stand infront of my full-body mirror I become immediately obsessed with how it looks on me, and quite surprised on how did Chris pick out thus dress possibly all by himself? maybe i underestimaded his knowledge about me all along.

I complete the whole outfit with putting on the rest of the accesories before moving on to my shoes, I've got there old red-bottom heels from my mother which she gave to me for a 'special date with a special someone' but I already know what she was implying and I wasnt so much against it. the idea. I put them on and now go to the next step, makeup. I step back inside my bathroom and start on my makeup, in the same time thinking of what I could possibly do with my hair and in what style I can style it today, especially for my graduation dinner. For some reason I feel like I need to look my best no matter what, so I really take my time whit perfecting my makeup and deciding to do a basic blow-out with my hair once again making sure everything is in place.

Moving onto the final finishing touches, spraying my favorite perfume on my pulse points where it will ill give off the mossmot scent. i check the time on my watch and realize I dont have hvae much time left so I quickly get out of the bathroom, disconnecting my phone from the charger in my bedroom and drop it into my purse which was laying down next to it. With a rush in my move and few minutes to spair before expected knocks on my door, I take some pictures in the the mirror to appreciate how I look tonight. I basically dart to my door as the 'were waiting in the car outside' pop up on my phone screen and revealing the cute wallpaper I have of a photo with Chris, I admire it for a second before moving onto the tast at hand. Exiting the building I see Matt's car waiting outside with everyone inside but with just enough room left for me, they all great me with simple hi’s and hello's but the tone of their voices changing the meaning of them, turning them into more heartfelt greetings. Matt turns the engine back on and we leave from under my apartment complex, chatter and small banters starting to rise in the air of the car.

! -- boom boom -- !

We pull up into a parking lot of a very fancy restaurant and the building from the outside looks already amazing, we all step out of the car. Chris quickly walks up to my side of the car and grabbing my hand, helping me get out of the car. I chuckle with the rest of the group who witnessed it, as all of us are out of the car we make our way up to the front entrance. Nick turns to look at me walking with Chris in the back, "We hope you like it here, it legit took us a month to get a resarvation here." he states with an uplifting tone to his voice, silently appreciating all of the good energy and how they took the time out of their day to scheduel this is so heartwarming to me. "This place looks absolutely amazing, I dont know how you guys did it." I admit, admiring the outside in awe at how it looks in the night with all of the lights turned on, the slight dribble of the waterfountain outside is heard in the background as we finally enter the restaurant.

One of Chris's hands is resting on the small of my back, a warm fuzzy feeling lingering behind it each time he takes it off. I notice for some reason all of the others whenever see our closeness with each other today, it seems like they know something I dont and I'm just itching to ask and admit Ive noticed it but I bite my tongue back and dont say a word about it. Observing the interior design inside, we sign in for our reservation and a polite lady walks us to our table. All of us sit down and have the menu already infront of us, picking it up and flipping through the pages to find something I might enjoy here since I’ve never eaten here before so it will be good for me to try something new from time to time.

I glance around the restaurant, still admiring all of the guests nicely dressed in suits and dressed of all sorts and the interior just screaming luxury and money in general. Ots not my first time seeing luxury in my life but by the looks of the restaurant you cant tell someone has taste in interior design. My eyes go back down onto the menu and come to a desicion on what I should try here, soon the waiter approaches us and takes everyones order before walking away. The table errupts into chatter, some banter and laughter being thrown around evetywhere, positive energy flowing through the air and rising the atmosphere. Everything was perfect so far, amazing even, sjtting at a restaurant with all of my friends I deeply care for while having fun at the same time is such an amazing feeling to have inside of you and hope the others are experiencing it as well.

Before we get the grasp of the time flying by, soon our food arrives and everyone goes in. Tasting the various flavors and textures delivered in the meal, the sounds of satisfaction fill the air as all of us consume our prepared meals while chatting in between. We’ve been in the restaurant for quite awhile now and our stay is soon going to come to an end as we finish our meals then wait for our check to arrive, as we wait I notice the groups eyes shifting from me to Chris and confusion clouds my mind as of what’s to come next and it is nothing I’ve could have ever expected. Chris also places his eyes on me, me now realizing he has something hidden behind his hands and my curiosity rising almost instantly, the others whispering and giggling to each other while I remain oblivious.

Suddenly he stands up from his seat and walks over closer to where I currently reside in my seat, his hand reaches out in a gesture for me to take his hands and i oblige. Softly placing my hand in the palm of his, feeling the warmth of it envelop my own as he makes me also stand up and rise to my feet, his other hand remains hiding the mysterious object behind the enclosure of his fingers trapping it inside. The exact hand comes into view to finally reveal what is the surprise. “You’ve been through so much, yet you’ve managed to pull through it all. Since you graduated with such success, I just had to get you something personally to congratulate my favorite girl finally getting what she worked so hard for.” He confesses before taking his hand away and revealing a small white box, I grab the box and open to find what’s inside. My eyes are met with a stunning diamond ring which shines in the soft glow of the chandelier in the room.

I stare in complete shock and awe, not knowing how to react nor what move I could possibly do to safe the awkward silence. Before I get to wrap my head around any kind of ideas, he lifts my head by grabbing ahold of my chin to look back at him, smiling at my expression. “But there’s one last thing to do…” He speaks again, his eyes darting between looking into my eyes or staring at my lips. “What do you me-“ before I could finish my sentence as well as not getting that much time I needed to think of any possible meanings he meant behind his words, he pulls my face towards his and smashes our lips together in a searing kiss. I could feel the other tables glancing at us but frankly I didn’t care right now, becoming lost in the sensation of his lips on mine.

I melt right into the kiss as my arms fall around his neck, pulling him down closer to me as his arms attach to my waist. Never did I think I would be kissing my best friend in the middle of a restaurant, our friends start to erupt in cheers and the other tables starting to join the moment. After a few minutes passing of the kiss, we pull away from each other and I chuckle at the remains of my lipstick now left on his. “I love you, I really do.” the words leave my lips first as I see the smile widening in both of our faces, our breaths mixing together with each other by the close proximity of our faces in the moment.

“Even if I was a worm?” He jokes, lighting up the tense and intimate mood surrounding us, I giggle at him trying to squeeze in a joke in almost every situation he gets the chance to. “You’re so fucking stupid, it’s starting to get cute” “Yeah maybe, but I’m your stupid, am I?” I roll my eyes playfully, knowing what he’s saying is completely true before pulling him back into another kiss. The others cheers slowly fading into the background and the only thing I could hear was the flowing thoughts and pictures of this moment, everything around us becomes irrelevant as both of our minds get lost in the immaculate chemistry coursing through our bodies.

@hearts4werka

authors note: after working on this for quite some time now, a few crying nights while listening to cas to be exact, I finally finished writing this request that literally was such a good idea. I loved writing the story and it is kinda more story in general in here but overall this was such a fun thing to write. I hope y’all enjoy this kinda change of pace, luv y’all so much

& love and peace, V

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[djtommotomlinson]

last november i was in china when my little brother called me and told me to come home. over summer my nan, my mums mum, had passed away before i had managed to get back to see her and my mum, my best friend in the world, had a heart attack soon after. i was with her then. we went to the funeral. she got better. we saw robbie williams live. we went out drinking and to the beach and watched coyote ugly and la la land together, our fave movies.

when my brother called me to tell me mum had cancer i knew it was bad. i lost my best friend to cancer when we were just 16 years old. thats never a good word. but its my mum. and to quote her days after her own mums death 'i always knew one day my mum would die but i never knew she would, like, actually die'.

i knew in the back of my head why i was going home but i didnt believe it. i watched spiderverse for like the third time on the plane. i went to grab my suitcase and laughed when i realised i was at the wrong shanghai - gatwick conveyor belt. who knew there were two at almost the same time.

then my brother, my baby brother, who is 30 next year but was 28 and always our baby brother, called me and my life is never ever going to be the same. i knew the moment he called. and i sat on the floor at gatwick airport shaking and people kept coming over to ask if i was okay and finally my sister and my aunties, my mums sisters, arrived and they were let into the baggage area when they explained and picked me off the floor.

i dont think this is a grief that has settled yet. i was meant to see louis that night. i havent listened to a song by him since despite his music getting me through some of my hardest times. my denial, she'll walk through the door and say this was all a joke, phase went on for months after we planned and executed a funeral and wake on the beach in malta. i made a great playlist, i wrote a great eulogy. i did that but it didnt properly sink in why.

i still, almost a full year on, wake up and think about messaging her to tell her how im feeling and check in on her.

my mum used to send me one direction news she found on facebook every day. harrys got a new album emmy did you know? and i was like no mum wow thank you (of course i already knew). she loved niall and we were going to see him live together. she wasnt a big fan of louis' music but ached for what he'd been through. i woke up the day after hearing about liam expecting a text from her checking in because she got me 1d tickets in 2014 for my 23rd birthday and she brought me merch and the dvd of the movie -

my mum who hated the beatles because they were too mainstream but loved what i loved because i loved it and was passionate about it. god she would have been crushed for me today. she would have been heart broken.

and i think this has hit me like a train not only because everyone who knows me knows how much i loved liam as if he was my own friend, but also because this past year has been so full of grief i dont always know how to get out of bed. my dads mum passed a few months ago. my family are wrecked with it. this past year has been a nightmare we can't get out of.

i always related to liam as someone who was bullied at school and as someone who suffers from mental illness and has suffered from alcoholism, thankfully, for me, something ive managed to come back from and im sober and i always hoped for that for him. its such a hard fucking mountain to climb and i didn't have to deal with the fame side of it and this whole other thing he had to carry. i always wanted him to get better but in the back of my head i had this feeling, i had this fear that i would one day log into tumblr and see the worst.

i still cant, and im sure for a long time won't, believe this real. thats one of my boys. we were very much meant to get old together. i wanted to see him get better. i cant begin to comprehend the fact he wont have that chance. this still doesnt feel real to me man. thats my boy.

just a few days ago I was in a convenience store and they were playing heart meets break and i was jamming and excited to hear my boy in a store. i keep remembering its happened, and i look at the photo on my bedside of me and my mum at the robbie williams concert and i could really do with her right now. a link to a facebook article and her over use of emojis - a shocked and crying face and a broken heart. because what else can express this?

i know i didnt know him but i always had the comfort of knowing of him, of listening to his music and watching his videos and feeling less alone in a cruel and lonely world.

its okay to be a fucking mess, if you can take time out please do. i wish this world allowed more of that. after my mum everyone had to go back to jobs and life and it still blows my mind that i was walking down the street then and today and everything was the same. the world should pause but it doesn't.

at the end of all of this, one day this might settle and make sense but right now it doesnt at all and thats how these things work. i love you all, this is not something i thought we would have to face until we had all grown old and spent all of our money on reunion tickets and seen our boys grow old and live their lives.

give people you love a hug, tell people you love that you care about them, work out problems and differences if you can and make the most of it. you never know how much time you have.

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 5 (e.w)

*takes off grad cap* alright . here we go. 

wc;cw: 17.1k everybody died, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, age gap(three years), all ocs r blackcoded, SMUT!! MDNI!!!, phone sex, masturbation, mean ellie, weed alcohol nics yall know wassup, dubcon, virginity loss, masochism LOL, light bondage, dirty talk, ASSSPLAAAYYY😝, dp, mult. orgasms, subspace and drop, squirting, slapping(face ass tits pussy lol), toys, slight angst but also fluff, just lots of spit n cum

You’ve been very gloomy these past couple of months. 

You hadn’t stopped thinking about Ellie since you left her home that morning, up until you and Arya jumped on the train to return to campus. 

You’d never be able to express to Arya how much you appreciated her presence: she allowed you to cry, whine, pout, and sniffle about how much you missed Ellie, and she comforted you through all of it with gentle whispers of you’re gonna be fine, bitch! you’re gonna get piped down soon! I promise! Although you felt a bit selfish dumping your girl problems on her, she never made you feel guilty and justified that you always listened to her ramble about her hook-ups and high rambles. The only time she’d ever complained about anything related to your sorrowful monologues about missing Ellie’s laugh and smile and tongue was when you two had to work on your Music & Production Theory assignment (I’m gonna kill you if we fail and you’ll die dickless! Don’t play with me!). 

…But other than that, she’s been so sweet!

Ellie has also been keeping in touch ever since you left. She sent you snaps of Duchess zooming around the house, her meals for the day, and three-second voice memos of her new project she was working on. You knew that she’d been flying back and forth to California and had a packed schedule with her producer friends whenever she was there, but your heart couldn’t help but turn gray when you wouldn’t hear from her for a few days. 

Now it's March, and you and Arya are sitting on the floor as you glared searing holes into your phone. Ellie sent you a text when you were in class earlier saying that she missed your voice and was going to call you the second she had the opportunity. And you weren’t going to miss it. Ellie was worth wasting your Saturday night on! 

“I’m not gonna lie girl,” Arya's voice cut through your intense phone-staring. “I’ve definitely had my dickmatized moments but you’re kinda crazy.” 

You looked up at Arya as she carefully packed her blunt to get ready for her smoke sesh with her friends, concerned look on her face. It made you frown. 

“What, why? What’d I do?” You asked with your brows pulled down. 

And before you could hear her answer, you got a notification. You nearly snapped your wrists at the speed your hands flew to grab your phone to see if it was Ellie, your eyes bulging at your screen, only to see that your sister snapped you. You sighed in slight disappointment before opening it. 

You ignored Arya’s snickering. 

Your sister sent you a picture of her with hairspray and a lighter in her hand with a caption IM MOVING TF OUT I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT NO MORE BUGS R EVERYWHERE WHAT IN THE FUCK.

You couldn’t hold in your laugh as you snapped her back before Arya stood and went to the bathroom with a change of clothes in hand. 

You heard the shower turn on as you got up and onto your bed to mindlessly scroll through Twitter. 

After ten minutes of scrolling through a Best Euphoria Character breakdown thread, you got a text from Ellie, and you nearly squealed in excitement. 

hiiii im sorry i havent been able to b on my phone like that :( been super busy with this sample

i just wanted 2 let u know that i might have 2 call u another time we still have a bunch of layering to do for this track n we’re on a timer. i miss u so fucking bad 

You couldn’t ignore the sadness in your chest, but you texted back understandingly anyway. 

it’s ok :( i miss u too. miss ur voice :( 

Her reply bubble immediately popped up. 

i know baby fuckkkk i miss ur voice so fucking bad im ab to start asking 4 daily voice memos 🤨

You smiled at your screen so wide. 

LOOOOOOOL ur annoying 

You typed and sent a follow up before she could. 

go back 2 work 🥰🥰

kiss :( 

mwah 

mwah mwah mwah

You put your phone on your chest, and you couldn’t stop the smile that grew on your face. She made you so, so happy. 

The bathroom door opened, steam from the warm water exiting the room along with a towel-clad Arya. 

“What you cheesin’ so hard for, girl?” She said as she grabbed her edge control off her desk. 

“Nothin’,” you said with a dreamy sigh as you stared off past her. 

“…Uh huh, I’m heading out soon, I’ll be back late tonight, so don’t wait up.” She said with a smirk. 

“Don’t forget to send me your location,” you reminded her. 

She let out a quick course, baby before she went back into the bathroom. 

You went back to scrolling through Twitter until your eyelids got heavy. A comfortably dressed Arya—she’s definitely getting some— kissed your forehead and dimmed your dorm lights before she left, and you dozed off. 

You jolted awake as Rotation blasted in your ears. You drowsily picked your phone up and saw a el:3🌲 and 2:34AM across your home screen. 

You perked up immediately to answer, sitting up so fast that you went lightheaded for a second. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi, you,” Ellie’s light voice rang through the phone. “Were you sleep? M’sorry, we can talk la— “

“No! No, I’m up, I was just napping, hi,” you said as you grinned softly at her laugh, laying on your back. “You’re up late. Did you guys finish?” 

“No, but we were exhausted, so we called off for the night. And one of my partners kept rambling about this girl he needed to call, so,” Her voice was already making you squirm. Thank god she couldn’t see you. “But I wanted to talk to you, couldn’t help myself.” 

“Oh my god, you’re so obsessed, damn,” you said with a giggle. 

“Fuuuuck yeah, sooo obsessed, need to drink your bath water, shit, I think I’m dying!” she said in an overly desperate, dried out tone, making you laugh harder. 

Both of your laughs calmed down before she started talking, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Umm…” She sounded a bit nervous, and it instantly made you antsy. “I know you’re not gonna be back for a couple weeks or whatever, but I just… like I was gonna ask if you wanted to do something, like just the two of us…” 

And a sly grin grew on your face. “Ellie… are you asking me out, right now?” 

The other line was silent as you heard her move around and sigh before she spoke. “…This was literally the worst way to ask a girl out, fuck, m’sorry— “

You cut through her jittery rambles. “Ellie, stop apologizing! That’s so cute! Of course, I’ll go out with you!” 

You heard her release a deep breath as she said, “Fuck, thank god, holy shit, I was so nervous. It’s been so long since I’ve done that. Almost shoved my vape down my throat.” 

You laughed as your heart beat quickened. “You really gonna wine and dine me when I come home? We’re that serious?” 

“Ohhh, we're that serious, you're eating nothing but lobster and pasta when I see you, swear to god.” 

You snorted at her, “Okay, sugar daddy, get me a new car while you're at it. With insurance.” 

“Anything you want, baby.” She said with a sleazy laugh. 

You hummed at her offer in attempts to mask the pounding of your heart, but she mocked you, humming back at you in a higher tone. 

“Shut up! I’m just thinking!” 

“Oh, yeah? About what?” 

You suddenly felt shy as her voice lowered. It was so much deeper. “Just… just you, I guess, I dunno, miss you.” 

You heard her shuffle again before she asked softly, a smirk evident in her tone, “You miss me?”

You let out a quiet, but eager mhm! as your tummy swirled with want. 

You listened to her gentle breathing before she asked, “Your roomie home?” 

And your heartbeat picked up, your eyes fluttering as your blinking slowed. 

“N-no, she’s gone.” 

“Then lay down for me, baby.” 

You instantly fell on your back, your scarfed head hitting your silk pillows. Your face was boiling hot, “I am.” 

“You sound nervous, you good?” she asked you gently. 

“M’great, just… yeah, I’m okay, want you to keep talking.” 

“Stop me whenever, you understand?” Her tone was much more serious, and it made your thighs clench, your boyshorts growing wetter. 

You whined out a uhhuh!, but she corrected you immediately, “Say you understand.” 

“I understand! I get it, El!” Fuck, you wished she were here to touch you. To scold you in person. 

You heard giggling and more shuffling around through the speaker, “You gotta shirt on?” 

“Mhm.” 

She chuckled lightly, “Take it off, take off everything while you're at it.” 

Your heartbeat spiked, “But Arya might come back.” 

“That’s why you have a blanket, honey.” 

…Fair. 

You quickly set your phone on your pillow, reaching for the hem of your shirt, lifting it up to pull it over your head, tossing it to the floor. You arched your ass up to pull your boyshorts off and kicked them to the foot of your bed. You reached for your phone again. 

“Okay, m’ready now.” 

“Such a cutie,” she cooed at you. You could hear the grin through her words. “Gonna make you cum so hard the second I get my hands on you.” 

You whimpered into the speaker as your walls squeezed. Fuck, fuckfuck. 

“You make me go fuckin’ crazy, can’t stop thinking about you.” 

“M-me, too.” 

“Yeah? What d’you think about?” 

Say it! your brain yelled at you. She already knows you’re a slut, just say what you want! 

“...Umm…” 

“Talk to me, baby, about anything you want.” 

You gulped, heart pounding in your ears, “Your… your hands? They’re… really nice.” 

“Yeah? What about ‘em is nice?” 

“Ellie…” 

“Like when they touch you all over, when they hold you down?” 

“Yes,” you barely whispered as your free hand traveled down your body. Not touching anywhere specifically, just roaming. 

“Know you do, they get you so fuckin’ hot,” She breathed through the line. “Wanna touch yourself?” 

“Yeah, w’na so bad.” 

“Say please.” 

“Ellieee— “ 

She cut off your embarrassed whines with a nastily casual tone, “I'll hang up right now. Ask nicely.” 

You balled your traveling hand up in a fist as you pleaded with an upset pout, “Please, Ellie.” 

“Please what.” 

“… Please help me?” 

“….”

“C’mon Ellie! Please make me cum! I wanna cum!” 

Her condescending laugh pierced through your ears, “Touch those pretty fuckin’ tits since I didn’t get to before you left.” 

You moaned out as your pointer finger and thumb rolled your stiffened nipple as you squirmed. 

“They’re so fucking sensitive, got my sheets so wet when I played with ‘em. Wan’em in my mouth again, shit.” 

You pulled at your other nipple, and you let out a moan into the speaker. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, miss you so fucking bad.” 

“Miss you so much, Ellie, can’t wait t’see you.” You cried out quietly. Your pussy was clenching with need. 

“Touch your pussy, babygirl, rub your clit. Get it nice and wet f’me.” 

You followed her instructions at a lightning speed, spreading your legs wider and reaching your hand all the way down to bring your slick to your clit. Your breathing picked up as you slowly rubbed it into your bud, hips jerking. 

“Tell me how wet it is,” you could hear how shaky her voice was getting, breathing labored. She was touching herself to you touching yourself, and it was making you wetter. It made you burn. It made you want to get her there. 

“M’really wet, El,” you mewled out to her, trying to ignore your bashfulness. 

“Yeah? S’dripping on your bed like it did on mine?” 

“Shit, yes, I feel it.” 

“Fuuuck, bet it’s so fucking tight, gonna break that pretty pussy in so good.” 

“Want you to. Want you inside me s’bad, please.” 

“Gonna give you whatever you want, promise, shit.”

You felt that feeling coming over you before you could think, “Think m’gonna cum, baby—“

“Already? Always cum so fucking quick—“

“I-I just miss you!” 

“Then cum for me, love.” 

“G’na, daddy!” You heard her groan at the name. 

“Fuuuuck!” You heard the wet sounds from her pussy over her groans and whines of your name, and that swelling feeling in your gut exploded.

All you could get out was a garbled cumming! as your thighs shook in your pleasure, your fingers quickly rubbing your clit as your hips bucked towards the friction. It felt so much better because you knew she was listening. 

“Don’t fucking stop, you’re gonna cum again.” She scolded when your fingers slowed and your breathing slowed.

“E-Ellieee—!”

“You wanted to cum so bad, right? Then fucking cum, fuck that pussy,” she must’ve been close: her breathing was heavier and shaky, the wet sounds from her side increasing. 

You put your phone on speaker and set it on your pillow, propping yourself up on your elbow so you could fuck yourself easier. You’ve never successfully made yourself cum like this, but you slid your middle finger in experimentally anyway. You released a light gasp at the stretch. You were so soft and slippery on the inside, your clit twitching as you wiggled around in search for that spot that Ellie found so easily. 

“D-Do me a favor?” she gasped out to you. 

“U-Uh huh?” 

She let out a breathy laugh, “Put your pussy on the phone so I can nut?” 

You laughed with her, shaking your head as you grabbed it with your free hand. You placed it between your legs, thrusting your finger in and out, “Can you hear it?” 

“Yeah, babe, fuck.” 

You let out a moan with her, slowly fucking yourself and bringing your other hand over to rub your clit, hips jolting at the sensitivity. You both were moaning each other's name as you chased your pleasure in unison. You let out a loud moan when you prodded that squishy spot that made you black out the last time you saw Ellie. You hit it as hard as you could, pussy squelching around your fingers and belly swirling. 

“Gonna make me cum, shit, sounds so fucking hot,” she whined out in between heavy pants. 

“Cum with me, El? Please?” You rubbed your clit faster.

“Gonnagonna, fuck, m’so close—!”

You let out a shout of her name as it hit you, your fingers trapped between the tight grip of your walls. You rubbed your clit as you grinded into your pussy, your head falling back as your hips rocked back and forth to ride it out. You tried to quiet your wails as Ellie came with you, letting out obscenities while she talked you through it. You could hear how fast her fingers were moving and it made another wave wash over you, your cunt giving one last bone-crushing squeeze as its twitching calmed. 

You pulled your drenched fingers out and slowly rubbed your clit as you came down, listening to Ellie’s quieting gasps of pleasure. You reached to grab a couple tissues from your work desk, wiping your fingers and pussy before grabbing your phone to set on your pillow. You heard her shuffle before she spoke. 

“You okay, babe?”

“Yeah… wish you were here,” you answered with a pout. 

“I know, a couple more weeks’n I’m all yours.” 

“S’all I’m thinking about,” you said gently. “Go get some rest.” 

“Don’t want you to gooooo,” you heard her pouting. It made your heart skip. “Stay on the phone with me?

“Don’t you have to get up early tomorrow?” 

“…Yeah…”

“Right. You had a long day, go to bed.” Even though the sound of her breathing would lull you to sleep faster, you could only imagine how drained she must’ve been. 

“Fine,” you heard her sigh in resignation. 

“Sleep well,” you cheesed widely. 

“I’ll try, promise. Mmmmwaaah!” she sent a goofy kiss through the speaker. You sent one back. 

“Night, El.” 

“Night, baby.” 

You hung up your line, throwing your phone on your pillow as you sat up to go to the bathroom. 

You missed her scent so much. 

Your sister was very in love. And lonely. 

It’s been almost three weeks since she’s seen Isaiah. 

She was typically good at keeping her sneaky links on the low, only calling them to fulfill her needs in the middle of the night, buy her drinks, smoke her the fuck out whenever she wanted, but she never expected to miss one of them or wait for their calls. Fuck time zones!

When Isaiah and your sister first started hooking up, it started off normal. Quick, but nastily satisfying fucks in hotel rooms (that he paid for, city girl shit), smashing in his rental car before his studio session, in her car before she went to work; it was strictly sexual for months, and she was fine with him constantly flying back and forth! 

Until he returned from California with a new strain that he said reminded him of her. She damn near bought a ring to propose to him herself. He smoked her out, she had one of the best highs of her life, and he gave her the craziest head on her couch, how could she not want him?! 

And now he’s gone, making beats in California again as she sat and thought about his voice. His scent.

Why did California always keep the most important people away from her?! 

Thinking about that city always gives her a headache. She ignited the packed bowl of her pipe, staring holes into the black screen of her phone as she waited for his call. 

You were editing another compilation of you playing all four seasons of Vivaldi as Arya snored on your shoulder. Your subs were going to eat this one up! 

The train Wi-Fi was kicking your ass and was this close to fucking up your render, but you were managing. 

You stretched your wrists, and you leaned back from your small tray table, resting against your head against the rest and grabbing your phone. 

You got a text from Ellie! 

hiiiii baby can’t wait 2 c u 

got smth cute planned :)

You didn’t notice the smile that spread on your face as you typed. 

so excited :( wanna smell u so bad 

You were about to set your phone down, but a text bubble popped up. 

yeah? wna smell u too 

gonna shove my nose in that pussy and inhale 😛

IMMA EAT IT RAAAHH

Your entire body flushed hot as you shook your head. 

AYOOOOO??

UR FUCKDIGNNSTUPIDD GET OFF MY PHONE

LFMAKOAAOOAAO 

kissie b4 i go? :(

mwahmwahmwah

mmmmmwwah

You set your phone down as you cheesed dumbly. 

You wished this train would hurry the fuck up! 

Your mom had come to pick you and Arya up from the station with slices of her freshly baked pineapple upside-down cake, kisses, and strong hugs. You never got used to being away from her months at a time; You'd missed her warm embrace so much. 

You had a couple of days to yourself before you and Ellie's first date and… just thinking about it made your heart beat faster. 

She’d texted you when you got home, telling you to dress up in something fancy. Would she buy you a fancy dinner? Take you to an art gallery? A night on the town in the city? The possibilities were endless with her! 

Arya had been telling you that you needed to buy some… things for when the two of you get “freak nasty”, so she offered to drive you to the mall (no more fruit panties, you're an adult now!, she’d scolded you). While you were excited for what happened after your date, you didn’t want it to be narrowed down to that; You loved spending time with Ellie. You just got her back in your life, and you wanted to appreciate every moment that you could get with her when she wasn't working. You felt so happy when she was around. 

… But of course, Arya wasn’t hearing that. 

“Girl, you can save all that sappy shit for the wedding, do you want crotchless panties under your—“ She paused her waving of the… very exposed pair of pink underwear as she remembered something. “Oh fuck, you don’t have a dress!” 

“…I was thinking about just wearing my prom dr— “

“Don’t even finish that fuckin’ sentence, are you serious?! Your prom dress? On your first date? You needa be slapped for that!” She said, irritated as she glared at you. You glared back at her attitude, now just as annoyed. 

“What do you expect me to do?! I’m not… I’m not like you guys, okay? This typa shit is easy for y’all. You know how hard it is for me to… do things like this. Why do you think I’ve been single this whole time?!” You said with a hurt frown. 

You knew she never meant any harm whenever she scolded you about your romantic situations, —or lack thereof—but that didn’t mean it hurt your feelings any less. You’re just starting to come into yourself and your appearance, and you need her, and everyone else, to be patient with you. 

Arya must’ve sensed the pain and discomfort in your voice because her glare slowly fell, a gentle replacement immediately overtaking her expression. She set the panties back down onto the display table and grabbed your shoulders. 

“M’sorry babe, okay?” She said softly, and you nodded as you looked off into the distance in rigid forgiveness; You knew she didn’t like that. “Look at me.” 

Your eyes slowly met hers before she quietly spoke. “I’m sorry, I want the best for you, that’s all.” 

She continued as your eyes watered. Just a little glisten! “You’re such a beautiful person—inside’n out and I want you to feel that way, even more so now because of that dick-slangin’ girlfriend of yours!” 

“You’re annoying,” you joked as you laughed quietly, making her smile. 

“It’s true! You’re my baby’n I love you.” 

“Love you,” you mumbled into her shoulder as she pulled you into a tight hug, pressing a light kiss to the side of your head before pulling back. 

She spun around and pointed towards the 30% off on all thongs! sign at the front of the store. 

“Can you buy one, at least?” she said in half-joking exasperation, pout on her face. 

“…Sure,” You relented with a sigh. “I might not wear it for the date, though!” 

“That’s fine, mama! Just wanna make sure you got one for safe keeping!” She said slyly as she stuck her tongue out. 

You shook your head as you made your way over to the rack, eyeing the pine green thong on the mannequin. 

Two days passed and you were getting ready for your first date! You couldn’t believe it! 

After Arya drove the two of you to the airport to pick up Kris and Starr, they’d spent the night at your place so they could see you off before Ellie came to pick you up. 

Starr helped you wax your eyebrows and legs: she offered to wax your cooch, but you were scared and a little embarrassed at the thought of your friends seeing you so… exposed. You knew your friends didn’t care about seeing you naked, but you were still a bit sheltered with them. I’ll stick to my razor! you'd said. 

Kris was pressing your hair while Arya helped you glue your lashes on as you frantically checked the time with a bouncy knee. 6:33… 6:34… 6:36!

Even though Ellie said that your reservation was at seven-thirty, you still needed to get dressed, had to count for the drive, potential stops for gas… and what if there was an accident on the road and it made you both late… oh, god what if you both caused the accident—!

“Bro, can you calm the hell down— “ 

“Y’know, I’m getting really sick of y’all asking the girl with anxiety to calm down—!”

“Stop moving and hold your ear down!” 

You thanked god your mom was out on a wine night; She didn’t need her night ruined with you and your friends bickering. 

You grabbed your ear in a tight downward pinch with a harsh sigh, moving it so Kris could straighten your baby hairs. Even with all this frantic movement from everyone in the room, they made it clear that they didn’t want you to see your final look until the very end, blocking all mirrors available with their bodies. 

After fifteen minutes of… pure chaos, your hair laid flat, and your face was beat. You pressed kisses all over your friends’ faces with breathy iloveyouthankyou’s before grabbing your dress and undergarments to sprint to your bathroom, making sure not to look at yourself even though you desperately wanted to. 

You shut the door with a deep and heavy exhale. You looked at your dress with pounding in your ears: it was a floor length, black velvet maxi dress with lace detailed sleeves. It accentuated your bust so a little cleavage was showing (I, personally, would have my nipples out, but this is cute, too! you recalled Arya saying in the dressing room); It was so… classy. You felt like an adult when you tried it on. You hope Ellie likes it. 

You shook off your insecurities before they could terrorize you and removed your tee, underwear, and sweatpants. You put your pine green, lacy strapless bra on with the thong to match, adjusting it so… your pussy could fucking breathe how do people wear this shit everywhere they go! 

You grabbed your dress and stepped into it, carefully pulling it up and over your shoulders. You straightened it out with your hand, making sure no wrinkles were in it before you took a breath, opened the door, and walked out to your bedroom.

Starr was the first one you made eye-contact with and she damn near fell out of your desk chair and onto the floor. Your eyes widened as the other two turned with excited gasps and shrieks. 

“OH MY FUCKIN’ GOD WHAT THEFUCK—!”

“You’re so fucking fine, holy shit—!”

“If it don’t work out with ol’ girl, you know where to find me—!”

You shook your head at them before dropping your gaze to your floor so that they couldn’t see your small smile, your face flushed, “Okay, okay, can I look now?” 

“Yeah baby, turn around!” Kris said excitedly as she grabbed your shoulders with an encouraging squeeze. 

You spun around and was immediately met with someone who… did not look like you. At all. Even your brain was too stunned to speak. What the fuck? 

The girls' excited expressions slowly dropped when they witnessed your shocked reaction, but you weren’t upset at all. Just… surprised. In a good way. 

“What’s the matter, honey?” Kris asked you gently from behind with concerned eyes, meeting yours in the mirror. 

“…I’m just really— “ 

THROW IT IN ROTATION! (THR—)

You jumped towards your phone on your dresser, nearly knocking your lamp off it. You answered immediately when you saw who it was. 

“Hello?” 

“Hiiiii, m’downstairs!” Ellie said giddily, and your spirit brightened. You smiled widely, and the girls followed. 

“I’m coming down right now, just needa put my shoes on!” 

“Ok, is it fine if I come in for a sec or?” 

“Yeah, it’s fine. The girls wanna meet you!” And they nodded eagerly in agreement. 

“… Fuck, now I’m scared.” 

“Don’t be! They’re so sweet, c’mon.” 

“K, gimme a sec, mmmmmwah!” she said goofily, you sending one back just as dopily before you ended the call. 

“Y’all gay as shit,” Starr said with a headshake, making the other girls snicker and jump in excitement. 

You, heels in hand, and your friends nearly jumped down the staircase to rip the front door off the hinges. 

The minute your eyes connected with Ellie’s, you had to stop yourself from dropping to your knees and doing something crazy. Fuck.

She was dressed in an all-black suit with a… fucking turtleneck underneath her jacket. Her sleeves were rolled up so her forearm tattoo was exposed. She had…Cuban links around her neck and wrists. Her hair was cut into a mullet—when the fuck did that happen, holy shit?!— and the two slits in her brow were more prominent. You noticed one of her hands was behind her back, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to care about what she was hiding. You were, by all means, ready to fuck right now. You nearly said fuck the date. 

And by the darkening of her eyes as she took you in from head to toe, you could tell she was ready, too. 

“…Hey,” she said to all of you, but she kept eye contact with you. You stared back. 

“Hi! Nice to finally meet you, I’m Arya,” your best friend interrupted as she stuck her hand out towards your date. Her eyes left yours to politely greet your friends with cute smiles and handshakes. 

And then she turned to you, bringing her hidden arm around to hand you a burgundy sunflower wrapped in gold and pink ribbons and plastic. Evening sun! 

She stepped inside and into your space—she always smelled so fucking good! — as you took it from her hand with a gentle thank you. Her cheeks were so red as she whispered back of course before planting a soft kiss to your lips. You heard your friends squeal quietly. Neither of you cared, sucked into your own little universe. 

“Ready?” she whispered. You nodded excitedly with a toothy grin, stepping into your heels. She smiled back before taking your hand in hers. 

“Oh fuck, wait a second!” Kris said loudly before running upstairs. You looked at your two friends, confused. Starr smirked as Arya shrugged. 

Kris came running back down the stairs with a small backpack in her hand, giving it to you. 

“Packed you some… things. Might not see you for a few days,” she said slyly as she winked, causing Starr to snicker. What the hell was in this bag? 

“Be careful with our little baby, now! She’s fragile!” Starr called out. 

“Will do, don’t worry,” Ellie replied with a light laugh before turning to you to whisper, “C’mon, baby.” 

“Don’t forget to lock the door before you guys head out, keys under the mat,” you turned to say to your friends as you slowly walked out. “I love y’all!” 

Shouts of love you! and be safe! rung through your ears before you gently shut the door. Your back was immediately pressed up against it before you could think, Ellie craning her neck to connect your lips in a hot kiss. Your knees went weak. 

She pulled away before you could protest, looking you up and down, “Had to do that, fuck, you look gorgeous.” Your cheeks were so hot as you mumbled a quiet you, too!

“Think I’m gorgeous?” She hummed out with a small smile. You saw her cheeks shine a darker shade of pink.

You nodded with an mhm!, wrapping your arms around her neck to pull her in for another kiss. She grabbed your forearms and moved back with a shake of her head.

“Okay. No more bullshit, we’re classy tonight!” She said with a clap of her hands. 

“Just one more,” you shook your head with a pout as you attempted to move her closer. 

You shut your eyes when you saw her face move closer to yours before you heard her whisper a no against your lips. 

“C’mon, we’re gonna be late,” She said with a foxy grin. She took your hand in hers to lead you to her… sleek ass car, fucking shit! 

The heartbeat in your ears nearly deafened you. 

The restaurant was… impeccable. You thought Cheesecake Factory was fancy; They were nothing compared to this spot. It was dimly lit, crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, tables draped in a black cloth, marble plates, candles, bottles of champagne… This is wealth!

Ellie hadn’t let your hand go the entire car ride, all the way up until you reached the front desk to confirm your reservation. You both were led to an exclusive spot on the second-floor outdoor balcony so that the two of you were alone. You teared up at the sight in front of you.

Your small section was filled with lit lanterns, the decorative trees around your table wrapped in fairy lights, and your table was surrounded with rose petals. There was even a small flowerpot with an evening sun sticking out of it. The gesture was so simple, but your eyes watered with gratitude. You couldn’t believe she organized this for you.

“Like it?” She sounded so nervous next to you. You turned to face her and nodded with a sniffle.

“Such a crybaby, jesus,” she mumbled with a shaky laugh, reaching towards a napkin on the table to hand to you. You dabbed your eyes, minding your liner.

“This is so sweet, Ellie, oh my god,” you watched her expression fill with affection and doting before she pulled you in to kiss your forehead as she led you over to the table.

She grabbed the back of your chair to pull it out for you with an over-exaggerated call of m’lady!, ushering you to sit down. You laughed wetly before you sat with a thank you!

“I wasn’t joking when I said you can get whatever you want,” She stated as she circled the small table to get to her seat. “I’ll buy this place out if you ask, don’t give a fuck.” 

Fuckfuckfuck—!

“Ellie, this is prettiest place I’ve ever fucking been in, oh my god!” You said as you glanced around the room. 

“Ehhh, it’s alright,” she said with a cocky smirk, shrugging as she shook her jacket off her shoulders. You tried not to look at her toned arms too closely as you rolled your eyes. “Want some wine?” 

“Is… is that allowed?” 

“… It is tonight, shit— “

A man dressed in a black shirt, slacks, and apron cut her off with an introduction as your server, bowing his head in greeting. You noticed how he kept returning his gaze to you as he described the specials, but you paid it no extra mind.

After Ellie asked for the most expensive wine, the server departed with a stiff nod in her direction. You noticed her intense gaze as she watched him leave. 

“You okay?” you asked gently. She silently shook her head yes before reaching out to you to grab your hand, playing with your fingers. 

Hm. That was weird. 

Dinner was fucking incredible. Shrimps should’ve never been called the “roaches of the sea”, they tasted too good! 

You were two glasses of wine in, —nursing your third—and you were starting to feel warm and fuzzy, a smile permanently painted on your face as Ellie went on about astrology; You didn’t know what the fuck a mercury retrograde was, but you supported anything that kept that impassioned look in her eyes! She looked so excited! 

“—that fucker thought that because I’m a fucking Libra I wasn’t gonna say anything. Like, I literally have an Aquarius rising, you cunt! I’ll fuckin’ run you ov— “

“How’s everything?” 

You looked to your side and made eye contact with your server, you sipped from your glass as you eagerly nodded, “Oh my god, it was fucking incredible. Who knew shrimps could be that goddamn huge! Are we allowed to say bad words in here?!” 

He laughed while nodding, “Yes ma’am, you’re allowed to do whatever you want in here. Would you like any dessert with the rest of your wine?” 

“Yes, please!” You got giddy at the mention of sweets, “I saw this chocolate molten lava cake lookin’ thing on the menu, but there was no ice cream on top. Can y’all… à la mode it?” 

“Course we can, the Chocolate Fondant with ice cream!” He said as he pulled out his notepad from his apron pocket, scribbling before turning to Ellie. You noticed how tense she looked: she was sitting back in her chair with her legs crossed, her finger tapping on the arm rest, and her shoulders were stiff. You didn’t comment on it, but something was off. “And for you?” 

She didn’t answer, and her lack of response concerned you. You reached over to gently place your hand on top of her… clenched fist on the table, “El? You don’t have to get a whole one. You wanna share with me?” 

She hadn’t looked at you since he arrived, though: she continued to glare at the waiter, and when you turned to look at him, you saw him glare at her. What the hell? 

“We’re gonna get that to go, actually.” She demanded, her gaze sharp like knives. You recognized that tone of hers instantly. She was this close to swinging. Oh no. 

“I think that would be best. Cash or card?” He snarked. You whipped your head to glare at his tone. 

You felt the table shake as Ellie moved to stand. You jumped up and stood in front of her—almost breaking your damn ankle in these heels— before she could lunge at the waiter, letting out soft warnings of nononono as you blocked her off. This was an elitist establishment; you’re not trying to get arrested! The waiter scoffed and stomped off. 

You watched Ellie seethe in her chair as she pulled her wallet out of her slack pocket, throwing a stack of hundreds on the table before grabbing her jacket. She wrapped her hand around yours before pulling you towards the restaurant's staircase. 

She harshly pushed the doors of the restaurant open to lead you to the parking garage. You weren’t having it, though. 

“Ellie! Ellie, wait! What the hell just happened?” You asked, grabbing her wrist with your free hand to stop her pacing. 

“Doesn’t matter— “

“Yes, it does!” You said louder as you yanked your hand from hers. You grabbed her flushed face in your hands, but she wasn’t looking at you. She just continued to whisper obscenities under her breath. 

“Baby, look at me please, talk to me,” you said gently, rubbing her cheeks with your thumbs in an attempt to soothe her. 

She finally looked down at you, before looking around again, “Let’s get in the car first, c’mon.” 

You released her face from your grasp with a nod, letting her guide you. 

She let out a deep sigh when she shut her door. You leaned over to rub her knee comfortingly. 

She looked down at your hand as her expression softened, “M’sorry, I— “

You shook your head, “It’s okay, just, what was that? I’m so confused right now—” 

“Motherfucker wouldn’t stop glaring at me, pissed me the fuck off,” She said between grit teeth. “Kept lookin’ at you, the fuck was he smiling so hard for anyway—“

“A-at me?” 

“Yes, at you,” She said like it was obvious. Your brows furrowed in confusion. “The bastard almost broke his neck trying to show you the menu, ohhh of course I'll put ice cream on the chocolate fountain, sexy, I'll make sure the chocolate’s extra hot for you, like what the fuck— “

You couldn’t hold in your laughter at her exaggerated impressions, and you felt her relax as she scoffed a laugh out. You watched as she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her mint vape, pulling from it. She turned her head to blow the smoke away from your face. You leaned over the center console, grabbing the side of her face to turn towards you. You planted soft kisses to her cheek in between your chuckles as she shook her head, licking her chapped lips. 

“Dinner was really good,” you said in between kisses. 

She hummed before she sighed, “Sorry I ruined it, you didn’t even get your chocolate fountain.” 

You giggled, “Fondant, baby.” 

She grumbled out a whatever, making you laugh harder, “I had so much fun, El, love spending time with you.” 

She turned her face towards yours to whisper, “Me too babe. Missed you so much.” 

“You smell so fucking good,” you whispered against her mouth before you could think.

“Yeah?” You felt her smirk. 

You hummed in agreement before pressing your mouth to hers. She instantly reciprocated, turning her body so she could place a hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer. The kiss deepened, her tongue swiping against your bottom lip before she sucked on it. You let out a whine when her tongue licked into your mouth. Tongueringtongueringtongueri—

But then she pulled away. You followed her mouth with yours, making her smile. 

“Let’s go home.” 

You nodded so hard, you almost snapped your neck. 

The minute you stepped foot into Ellie’s place, her mouth was on yours. 

Her strong hands were gripping your hips, your arms around her neck as you moaned in her mouth. 

Jinglejinglejinglejingle—

You pulled away from her and turned the second you heard Duchess coming, her small, fluffy body descending the stairs. You pushed Ellie’s grabby, traveling hands away. 

“Baby! Oh my god! I missed you so much!” You squealed in excitement as you rushed over to her as quickly as your heeled feet would allow. She started purring and rubbing against your leg. You bent over to pet her little head as she nuzzled into your hand. 

“You really chose her over me, wow, okay,” Ellie called out from behind you as you heard the fridge open along with some clinking glass. 

Of course, Duchess’s demons took over as she whipped her head off into the distance, seemingly shocked by something, before sprinting back upstairs. There had to be a ghost or something in this bitch!

You shook your head before standing straight to turn towards the kitchen. You noticed Ellie shamelessly staring at your ass before she slowly dragged her eyes up connected with yours. And she just took a shot of pure vodka. No chaser. Fuck.

“You always talk about me staring, look at you!” 

“You’re lucky that’s all I did,” She said as she poured another shot for herself. “Was thiiis close to doing something outta pocket.” 

“Oh yeah? Like what?” you challenged. Yup, that wine was still kicking.

“Shoving my tongue in your ass,” she said casually with a shrug before leaning over the counter, taking sips from her shot glass. 

That familiar swirl in your gut quickly turned into a tornado. Your pussy clenched tight with want. Oh. Oh, wow. 

“Oh.”

“Uh huh.” 

Do something! Say something sexy, you’re boring her! your brain shouted. 

“T-that guy was trash, huh?” you said with a sheepish laugh. 

“…Yup,” she said deeply as she watched you. Every breath you took, every nervous twitch of your body with that nasty little glint in her eyes. The one you recognized from New Year’s. You stepped out of your heels and took a stumbly step towards the counter. 

Confidence! Confidence, dammit! 

“Can I have some?” You said as you pointed towards the bottle of Absolut. 

She snorted a laugh before shrugging, “I dunno. Can you?” 

“Shut up, gimme some,” you said as you folded your arms over your chest. Her eyes dropped to your tits as she licked her lips; She wasn’t moving to get your drink, she just stared at your pushed up breasts. Your manicured nails dug into your lacy sleeve, but you stood your ground. “Right now.” 

She smirked at your tone before returning her gaze to yours, shaking her head no. She tilted her head condescendingly, lifting her brow at you. She was… fucking testing you! The goddamn nerve! 

“Ellie.” 

“Hm?” 

“Pour me a shot!” 

“Or what?” Her tone was so low, so relaxed. You could feel yourself getting so wet.

“Or m’gonna…” Come up with something, what the fuck! “M’gonna…uh… fight you!” 

“…You’re gonna fight me?” She squinted her eyes at you, setting the small glass down on the counter before folding her hands. 

“…Yeah! Y’know what?! I’m actually mad, you ruined our first date because you thought some guy was staring at me!” There was a shakiness in your voice, but you waved your arms in anger as you started pacing, your bare feet stomping on the dark tile. Along with soft jingles. Duchess was back! “I’ve never been stared at by a stranger in my life!” 

Ellie wasn’t retaliating, but you noticed her jaw clenching. It made you clench, but you pressed anyway. 

“And you didn’t even get me my dessert! Maybe I wanted him to stare at me! Maybe I wanted the attention, for once! For fucking on—!” 

You hadn’t noticed Ellie circle the counter during your toothless rampage, but you felt a sharp tug of hair at the back of your head. Your neck forcibly craned up at her as you let out a wet gasp and pained whined, your fist clenching in your shock and… arousal. Your eyes met her dark, fiery ones, her lips slightly parted as her breath hit your face. You couldn’t stop fucking squirming, your thighs rubbing together to ease the sudden tightness of your core. 

“Don’t start acting like a fuckin’ brat,” She said lowly between grit teeth. “You’re cute, keep it that way.” 

Despite your eagerness for… her everything, you spat back, “S-Screw you, Ellie! You’re mean!” 

“Know I am. Seems like you don’t, though.” 

Your body involuntarily shuddered against her, and you mentally cursed yourself for being your biggest enemy! Your tough act faltered the second you put it on, and she smirked. “So fuckin’ easy, you wanna screw me, baby?”

You were easy. You were, you were, all for her! Fuck, you’d do anything she asked of you. You hadn’t even realized that your hands were slowly lifting your dress up on their own accord, bunching the fabric around your hips. She looked down and scoffed out a laugh, her grip in your hair tightening. You were moaning aloud already, what the fuck! 

“Givin’ it up like that? Like a filthy slut?” 

You nodded, your head filled with nothing but desire. Need. Instinct. You needed her to fuck you right now! 

“Get up those fucking stairs, gonna put the baby in the guest room.” You could hear her jingling on the couch. 

Her grip on you loosened as she backed away to walk towards Duchess with a soft hi, baby! missed you! 

That was a fast switch up! 

You turned towards the counter and downed the rest of Ellie’s discarded shot before you bolted up the steps. You never ran so fast in your life. 

After Ellie took care of Duchess, you heard her tread up the stairs. You were sitting on the edge of her made bed with your hands folded in your lap and slick pooling your thong. She met your eyes from where she stood by the top of the steps.

“Look at you, already so well behaved,” she cooed at you. She sounded so demeaning, and you loved it. You were so embarrassed that you did. 

You didn’t reply but watched her slowly walk towards you. Your breathing picked up and your heart pounded in your ears and head and clit—

“You used to be so fuckin’ sweet,” she said down at you, her lustful eyes twinkling under the green and blue hues in her room. She shook her head at you. “You get some alcohol in you’n start acting out? That’s what you wanna do?” 

You slowly shook your head no, jutting your bottom lip out. 

“Talk.” 

“No, Ellie,” you could barely whisper. 

“Take this off,” she ordered abruptly, her pointer finger pulling at the bust of your dress. 

You stood at her command, pulling your arms out of your sleeves to pull the dress down your body. Was it always this tight?! 

After wrestling with your garb, it pooled at your feet. You stepped out of it clumsily as Ellie took in your appearance. You watched her rake her eyes over your body, chuckling softly at your undergarments. 

“These are cute,” she said as she snapped the band of your thong against your skin. It made you flinch… and wetter! “Give’em to me.” 

Your breath hitched, curling in on yourself slightly. 

She gently cut through your thoughts before you could gather them, “Don’t think about it, just do what I ask.” 

You hesitantly hooked your thumbs into your underwear and pulled them down on autopilot, cringing slightly at the large wet spot on the little triangle. You pressed your thighs together to help alleviate some tension. It didn’t help. 

“Get up there,” she nodded her head towards her bed frame. You sat on the bed to scoot up the mattress, but she stopped you, tightly gripping your ankle.

“Nuh uh, hands’n knees’ c’mon,” she scolded, “Wanna see that wet fuckin’ pussy.” 

You clumsily got up onto your knees, hands sinking into her pine-scented blankets. Your erratic breaths picked up as you nervously looked back at her over your shoulder. Her expression softened slightly, whispering okay, baby? and you nodded enthusiastically. You never would’ve thought that you would enjoy Ellie being mean to you, but it was making you drip. She smirked and her gaze dropped to stare at your wet cunt, and it squeezed in excitement. 

Be sexy! you thought. Make her want you! 

You deepened the arch in your back slightly before you slowly crawled up her bed like a cat until you were faced with her black, detailed bed frame. You boldly shoved your face into her pillows, —you sniffed them very deeply— making sure to keep your ass up as far as you could. 

“It’s like that?” You heard her scoff out. Your pussy twitched at her voice; You hoped she noticed.

You took a deep breath, “Is it?” 

“Fucking smartass. Show me your pussy.” 

Your body burned at her vulgarity; she had no shame! You whimpered before you reached your arms behind you to spread your asscheeks, both holes pulsing in excitement. 

You felt her move onto the bed before you heard the ripping of fabric. She grabbed both your wrists in one hand, knotting your soaking wet panties around them before dropping your bound hands onto your back. 

“ELL— “

You were going to scold her for ripping your new pair, but you were cut off by a stinging slap on your ass. You let out a pained groan in the pillow as your nails dug into your palms. Oh, you liked that. A lot. You wanted more. Fuck, you want her to hurt you. 

“Gotta beat it into you, huh? That’s the type of shit you like?” Ellie said in a nasty timbre. “The only way t’get you to behave?” 

You didn’t even get to lift your head to say yes! before another harsh slap landed on your other cheek and you let out a muffled squeal again. You knew your pussy was dripping onto her duvet in a puddle! 

“You’re lucky you’re only getting my fucking hand. Fuckin’ slut.” 

Why was the disgusting part of you wishing that she were using something more? Something that she could etch into your skin forever?

“E-Ell— “

“Be quiet.” 

You shut up. You shut up so quickly. 

“Fuuck, look at this fucking ass.” You felt her calloused hands massage both cheeks. She spread them, made them jiggle. Hit you again. 

“Gonna let me play with it, babygirl? Hm? Gonna let me touch you how I want to?” She cooed out at you. You knew she knew your answer, but you nodded your sweaty head into her pillow anyway. 

You felt her place a light kiss on the back of your thigh, right under your asscheek, before she got up. You heard a drawer slide open. Her… special drawer. Fuck, she was going to destroy you. 

You craned your neck as best as you could

to watch as she pulled out some items. She set them on the dresser before she undid her chains, bracelets, and earrings. She took her turtleneck and slacks off, leaving her with mussed hair and a black sports bra with matching boyshorts. Her back, her fucking back, holy fuck—

Your thoughts were halted by a thud near the edge of the bed: you couldn’t see anything that she chose, but you saw that familiar shade of purple in the middle of the small pile.

“You comfortable in that position?” She questioned you suddenly, her softness returning. 

“Umm… I like it, but my arms hurt a little, not gonna lie.” 

She tsked at you, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“M’sorry! I was really into the “don’t talk” thing— “

“If the don't talk thing makes you not tell me when you're uncomfortable, I’m not doing it. You gotta tell me when you feel off, I don’t care why or when it is,” She crawled up to you and undid the knot from your wrists before grabbing your hip to help move you onto your back. “Here, stretch out.” 

You laid your head on her pillow as you extended your arms and legs, sighing in relief before you rested, limbs spread out on the mattress, “M’okay now.” 

She hummed in acknowledgement, but she wasn’t looking at your face. She was staring at your wet cunt, and it made you squeeze hard. She licked her lips as more slick pooled at your hole before meeting your eyes. “I like you better like this actually.” 

You nodded as you offered her your wrists, signaling her to tie them again with a wide grin. 

She laughed at you before crawling up to pull at your bra wire, “Wait, take this off first.” 

“Want you to do it,” you sighed out dreamily.

She hummed at you, moving up to straddle your waist, “I meant it when I said this was cute, by the way.” 

“Exactly, was cute! You saw my panties for three seconds and ripped them to shreds,” you cackled out. 

“I was excited, felt a little frisky!” She laughed with you. 

You both slowed your giggles when she started rubbing them through the fabric, both hands massaging you through the cups. 

Your eyes fluttered when your nipples brushed up against the lace, your back arching into her touch. She slowly bent down to take one of them into her mouth, the bulb in her mouth circling the peak. You gasped sharply, arching deeper as your hand flew to the back of her head. You gently scratched her scalp with your nails, and she sucked on it. 

You jerked and your grip on her hair tightened, and she moaned around you. You moaned at the vibrations on your sensitive skin. 

You hadn’t noticed her hands snuck under you to undo the clasp of your bra as she pulled away from you, discarding the flimsy cloth and tossing it somewhere. 

“So much for a surprise,” you playfully rolled your eyes at her. Calloused fingers dug into your cheeks. Your smile dropped and your eyes fluttered as hers burned into yours.

“You’re not off the fuckin’ hook. Watch your mouth, you understand?” She said lowly, breath hitting your face. You nodded quickly.

“I understand,” you whimpered out. 

“Atta girl, you're learning,” she patronized with a satisfied grin, patting your cheek a couple times. You blushed harder. “Gimme those hands.” 

She sat up to reach for your destroyed panties, your wrists connected at the veins as she bound them together, much tighter than the first time. 

You rested your arms on the pillow behind you. She adjusted them so that your head was propped up and your neck was supported. You poked your chest out more as your tits jiggled with your movements. 

“I do anything you don’t like, you tell me.” She said in a hushed, but stern tone. 

“I will, El, promise.” 

“Okay,” she bent down to press a soft kiss to your mouth before moving off you and towards the pile of toys. 

She grabbed one of… what is that? 

It was a teal circle with a small hole at the top of it. Technology is so interesting—

“It’s clean, promise,” she must’ve noticed your furrowed brows and stare. You shook your head.

“S’not that, what… what is it?” 

“A vibrator, babe,” she said simply. 

“…Hm, never seen one like that before.” 

“I hadn’t either. It was a gift,” she snorted before she clicked a button on the top of it. A low vibration filled the room, “It feels good, though.” 

“What’s it feel like?” 

“It’s supposed to feel like you’re getting head… sorta,” She said in thought, “It kinda does, like a little bit… wanna see if you like it?” 

“Yeah, p-please?” 

“That’s cute.” 

She brought her free hand up to roll your nipples between her thumb and pointer finger, making you whine out and squirm and arch your back. Your eyes fluttered closed.

You felt the gentle vibrations on your inner thigh before they slowly trailed up with every twist and pinch Ellie gave your nipples. Your hips started bucking up before she brought her hand down to slap your pussy. You let out a loud moan as your eyes shot open to meet her dark ones.

“Stop moving.” 

“C-can't help it,” you said with pout. 

“Yeah, you can.” 

You let out a huff, and she gave your cunt another wet slap, much harder. You squealed loudly as your legs squeezed shut.  

“Don’t get a fuckin’ attitude.” 

You whimpered a sloppy slew of apologies, but you knew she wasn’t hearing it as she pried your legs apart with one strong hand to slap it one more time before slowly rubbing your clit. Your hips jerked, but you forced them not to lift.

“You get so fuckin’ wet,” she whispered in awe, the sticky noises of your pussy filling the room as she played with it. “Hear that? Shit.”

“Missed you s-so much— “ 

“Know you did.” 

You moaned her name, and she mockingly moaned yours back. It made you leak more. 

You felt her spread your lips open so she could watch your clit throb and jerk in need. You looked down and saw her eyes glued to your cunt, her freckled cheeks tinted red and her wet, pink lips parted. She looked up at you, smirking when she met your intrigued, needy eyes as she placed the vacant part of the vibrator over your clit.

“Like watching?” 

“Think so,” you shyly mumbled out. 

And then you felt the vibrations on your soaked bud. You gasped as your eyes closed. 

You felt her pull the toy away before she slapped your clit. You cried out as your eyes shot open to meet hers again.

“Watch me. Don’t close your eyes.” 

You jerkily nodded; You watched her so closely. She kissed your clit before spreading them with her fingers to bring the open part of the toy to your clit, trapping it inside once more. 

Your bud was surrounded by the pulsing sensations of the soft silicone and your eyes almost rolled back into your head, but you craved Ellie’s praise, her reassurance. You wanted to be good for her.

All you could do was moan and shudder and watch her.

“Feels good?” 

“Feels s’good, baby—” 

“Yeah? Want some more?” she said fondly with a filthy glare. 

You mumbled out a quiet yeah, wa’more! in between your pleas. 

She pressed another button on the toy, and the vibrations got stronger. Your cries got louder.

“Sloppy fucking pussy.” 

The tight pull in your gut was building, but you needed more. You wanted to pull on your nipples so bad but you fucking couldn’t! Why did you want your hands tied so badly? 

“El,” you barely got out between your heavy pants, “can you—mmh!” 

“What?” 

“T-ouch my tits? Please, m’right there!” 

She snickered at you before reaching up to slap one of them, leaving remnants of your slick on the soft skin. That wasn’t what you were expecting, but you want more of that! 

“Hit me more?” you keened, your eyes glossy.

“You asking?” she snickered, and you nodded so fast. 

She shook her head at you, “You’re gross.” 

For her! You’re so nasty for her her her—

You received another slap. And another. Then she reached up to dig her nails into your brown bud. You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling back, it hurt so good.

“Shit, m’gonna cum!” 

“Uh huh.” 

All you could do was moan out warnings of s’coming! and I feel it! and yes! It built and built until you could taste it and—

 … Everything you felt stopped. And Ellie was laughing. You were going to cry. 

No… nonono—

“Told you to keep your eyes open.” 

“E-Ellie, please no, I can’t— “

“Y’know, I was hoping you could follow simple instructions,” she cut you off as she moved towards the pile again, grabbing her… fat fucking dick, yes finally yesyesyes—

And lube… and an emerald green buttplug with a matching… remote? Oh, fuck—

“You don’t know how to fucking listen, do you?” She tossed the items next to you before grabbing your shaky thighs to pull you closer to her, your head dropping onto the soft mattress. You laid flat on your back as she loomed over you, your legs on either side of her. 

She watched your twitchy hole produce more slick, “Don’t even need to get you ready, could just slip right in and fuck you how I want.” 

“Wan’you to! Wann’it so bad— “ 

“Yeah? Want me t’use you?” 

“Fuck yes! Yeah!” 

“Keep these fuckin’ legs open, then,” she grabbed her dick and stood to step into it, adjusting the straps securing them around her hips. She climbed back between your legs as she intensely stared at your tits. She looked so deep in thought, brows furrowed with her bottom lip between her teeth; What the hell was her evil brain conjuring up?!

She gave your breast one last burning slap that made you cry out before grabbing the lube off the bed. You watched as she ripped the cap off, pouring some into the palm of her hand to bring down to her dick to massage it into the ridges. Your walls were squeezing so tight, your pussy begging for whatever she was about to do.

You almost flatlined on her bed when she straddled you, climbing up your body until her dick rested between your tits, the lube she smeared all over it transferring to your skin. Her thick, wet tip was almost touching your chin, and all you could do was gape at it before slowly blinking up at her, meeting her burning gaze. She bit her lip as she slowly tipped the bottle of lube, letting the thick consistency land your chest before she rubbed it into your skin with her cock. You felt so fucking dirty! 

“Stick that tongue out,” she ordered deeply as she closed and tossed the lube bottle. 

Your lips parted on command, your tongue slowly sliding between the two of them. She grabbed your face in a tight grip before letting a line of spit slip out of her mouth and onto your tongue. You felt it slide down your tongue before you happily swallowed

it. You lolled your tongue out, silently asking for more with pleading eyes. 

She sneered at you before she did it again, getting it all over your chin and cheeks. You couldn’t stop the whimper that left your mouth. She let a blob out onto your tits, mixing with the lube. 

But then you felt a fiery hand come down on your cheek, your head flying to the side as you let out a choked gasp. Your thighs clamped together on instinct as your walls quivered at the sting. You felt her place a hand on the side of your head, keeping it still as her nails dug into your scalp. 

“G’na fuck these tits s’good,” you heard her groan out. Your cunt throbbed in desperation. 

“Wan’ you to!” 

“Beg me to,” she hissed at you. 

“Please, baby, pleasefuck’em!—“

You felt her squeeze both your wet tits in one tight hand before she forced her dick between them, both of you letting out moans in between the squelchy noises from your bodies.

Her grip in your hair tightened as you heard her pleased sighs, her slurred curses, her whines of your name, why were you getting so tight, why did it feel like you were about to cum—

“Fuuuck, babygirl, feels s’fuckin’ good—!”

“E-El, please— “

“Yeah? What does my girl need? Wan’ some fuckin’ attention?” You hated how hard your core squeezed at her belittling tone. You nodded as fast as you could in her tight grasp. 

“Not g’na til I cum, you’re gonna fuckin’ lay there’n let me do what I want, tha’s what you wanted right? Huh?” 

More hot tears were falling to your hairline as you quietly sobbed and pleaded for her to touch your pussy, but she wasn’t hearing any of it. She released the grip she had on your head, but she just shoved her drenched, lubricated fingers into your mouth. Your eyes fluttered shut as you hummed around them, sucking them deeper.

“Gonna fuck that throat so hard one day, swear to god.” 

You hummed and garbled pleas around them in excitement. 

“Shit! Need that? Just wan’ something in that pretty mouth?”  

You nodded, you kept nodding, you want anything she’ll give you. 

“G’na fucking cum, all over that gorgeous face,” she gritted out as she snatched her fingers from your mouth. Her wet hand flew to your tits, pushing them closer together so that she could fuck her dick into the little hole she tightened. 

“W-Wan’ your cum, daddy!” you encouraged her as you watched, you needed her to cum!

“Shit, baby, stick your tongue out,” she whined out as she grinded her dick between your tits. Your eyes opened and your tongue immediately started swiping across her tip whenever it came up to your mouth. Her hips jolted and stuttered on top of you as she watched you, and you watched her. You hurriedly sucked her rubber tip into your mouth and sucked sloppily like you were trying to milk her. You knew she couldn’t feel the suctions, but you saw her eyes roll back into her skull as she let out a loud moan. She was bucking her hips into her strap as her nails dug into your tits. You kept the tip in your mouth as she rode out her pleasure. 

She looked so pretty and soft: fluttery lids, swollen lips, and her dotted cheeks flushed as quiet whines left her mouth. So pretty, she’s so fucking pretty—

Her tip suddenly slipped from your mouth as she scooted down your body. 

“K-Kiss?” you asked softly, voice unsteady.

She didn’t say anything as she leaned down to connect your lips. It was light and careful, both of you breathing into each other's whines. She made sure to check on you, mumbling an okay? against your mouth. You whined out a yesyeah m’okay before you reconnected your lips. 

You kissed for what felt like hours before she sat up to move off you. 

“W-Wan’more,” you mumbled with pleading expression. 

“Okay, babe.” 

You watched as she scooted down, shuffling until she was between your legs. She held one of them up with a hand under your knee to press it to your chest, playing with your entrance with her free hand. You felt her slide a finger in and your mouth fell open, your walls clinging to her the deeper she prodded. You were stunned at how fast she found that spongy spot inside you, and you squeezed her tighter. 

“Loosen up, can barely fucking move.”

You couldn’t do anything except wail out incoherencies about how fast you were going to cum, and you felt her slide another finger in. 

“Nuh uh, hold it.” 

“Can’t, Ellie, fuck— “

“Yeah you can, hold that shit.” 

You tried you tried, but you couldn’t. All you could get out was a cry of stop, baby! stopstopstop before your peak washed over you. 

But the pleasure left as fast as it came as she pulled out with a tsk, another slap landing on your pulsing clit. You sobbed her name, tears running down your temples.

“Couldn’t even hold it for a few seconds?” She scolded, and it made you and your pussy cry harder. 

“Stop crying,” you felt her releasing the tight grip from under your knee to softly wipe your tears off your face. “Look at me.” 

Your glossy eyes slowly peeled open, taking in the sight above you.

“Good?” she asked softly, and you nodded with a whimper of m’okay, El, I like it so much! please fuck me!

“Yeah? Babygirl wants some dick?” 

“Yes! Pleasefuckmee—!”

You let out a groan when you felt her dick slap on your pulsing bud. You were spewing pleas and curses and cries of her name; you wanted her inside! Wanted to feel her so deep in your stomach! 

You couldn’t help but lift your head to look down at her cock sliding between your folds, her thick tip nudging your clit with every thrust.

How were you about to cum from that alone? Your eyes were fluttering from the pleasure. You whimpered out a warning of your impending orgasm.

“You gonna cum from this? M’barely doing anything.” 

You couldn’t speak, you just nodded. Your mind was hazy and racing with thoughts of her at the same time, your core clenching tight. Yeah, you were going to cum! 

“Daddy—!” 

“Fuuuck yeah, need me, baby?” 

Your eyes rolled back so far back you swore you could see your brain shaking its head at you in disappointment, and you came so fucking hard. You felt her tip push past your spasming entrance as she quickly rubbed your clit with her thumb as it hit you. That stretch made you scream, and your head fell back. 

“S’so big!” You couldn’t even register what you were saying, your burning orgasm taking over your mouth. 

“Gonna be my good girl’n take it? Gonna make me proud?” Her voice sent another wave through your body as it shook in painful pleasure. 

“Yeah, daddy, m’your good girl!” 

“Then lemme in, love, c’mon,” she whispered out over your moans and groans and squeals. Your orgasm was still ripping through your body, your wetness dripping down your ass and onto the new puddle on the blanket. She was tearing you open with every shallow thrust, but you took every ridged, veiny inch like you were meant to. 

“Good, baby? Talk t’me,” she said gently, halting her thrusts as she caressed your thigh.

“M’sti—m’stillcummimg—! “

She scoffed a wet laugh at you and went even deeper, “I feel it, squeezing the fuck outta me. Dirty fucking whore.” 

You felt the balls of the strap resting against your ass as you slowly came down. She was all the way in, slowly pulling out only to push back in. Her tits were slightly jiggling in her bra every time she bottomed out. Your hands wriggled in the fabric; you wanted them in your mouth so bad. 

“Wan’touch you, daddy, please?” you moaned out in a gasp as she fucked back into you, stretching you out. 

“Touch me where?” She asked, thrusting deeper. 

“Mmh! Your tits, please!”

She huffed smugly before fucking into you faster. She brought her hand up to her chest, squeezing one of them through her bra, “These tits?” 

“Yeaah, fuck!” You could already feel another orgasm twisting in your gut at the painful stretch. 

She mumbled out an uh huh as she slowly pulled the elastic up, her breasts slowly dropping out. She slowed her thrusts and brought her other hand to pull the cotton over her head, throwing her head back as both hands played with her nipples. Her moaning made you moan and fuck, you were in love! 

“Lemme go, El, fuck!” you pleaded, your hands pulling at the restraints. How was such fragile cloth so resistant!

“Shit, baby, feels s’fucking good,” you watched her pull and twist them as she whimpered your name as she ignored you. She’d stopped thrusting to play with herself, only slowly grinding her hips into you, so you planted your feet on the bed to thrust your hips downward, clumsily bouncing up and down on her dick as you watched her. 

She looked down at you and sneered, “Yeah? Wanna fuck me?” 

“Yes, w’na make you cum, daddy.” 

“Here, baby, gimme your hands,” you halted your movements bringing your arms to hers. She tore the knot in your panties and tossed them before slowly pulling out fully, a nasty shhlck! filling the room. You were so wet. 

She leaned above you, reaching over your head to grab some pillows, setting them beside you. Her tits were in your face, so you slowly brought an inexperienced hand up to touch one softly. You gave it a gentle squeeze, bringing your other hand up to rub into the other. She let out a satisfied sigh of your name. You leaned up, boldly taking a soft nipple into your mouth. You sucked at it softly as your eyes fluttered shut, swirling your tongue around the sensitive skin. 

“Shit, tha’s so good,” she moaned out before pulling at your now sweated out hair. You gave her one last hard suck before your head fell back on the bed, her mouth instantly connecting with yours in a spit-filled, smacking kiss. Her tongue was sliding all over yours before you sucked it into your mouth, making her moan into your mouth. She brought her hand up to wrap around your throat, gently squeezing the sides. She pulled back with a look of concern on her face, grip immediately loosening at your whimper, but you brought a hand up to cover hers on your throat, squeezing tighter. Your eyes nearly crossed when she hummed with a knowing smirk, pressing her middle finger and thumb into the sides again. She pulled away, licking your bottom lip before bending down to whisper in your ear. 

“Turn over.” 

You stumblingly flipped onto your stomach as she shoved two plush pillows under your hips to support them, even though you were poking your ass out towards her anyway. You felt her slap it playfully before kissing it. 

You felt her hands pulling your cheeks apart like she told you to do to yourself earlier. You felt her staring and it made your heart beat faster. 

“Okay, El?” 

“Mhm, just looking.” 

You looked at her over your shoulder, “You can… um… y’know?” 

“No, I don’t know,” she snickered. 

“What… what you said earlier?” 

“What’d I say?” 

“About me! The thing you said!” 

“Want me t’eat your ass?” She said in between kisses on your cheek. She was grinning so hard. 

“…Y-yes?” 

“Then ask me.” 

You looked forward with a harsh sigh, “You’re so annoyi— “

A tight hand grabbed your hair to pull your head back roughly. You let out a pained moan at the ceiling before you felt her lips at your ear, “What’d I tell you about that fuckin’ mouth?” 

You instinctively pushed back on her with a whine of m’sorry daddy!

“No, you’re not, you keep talking shit’n it’s pissing me off. I’ve been trying to be nice t’you.” 

Nice?! She almost made you black out with one orgasm! 

You didn’t have a response, but your eyes actually did cross when you felt a thumb prod your ass. 

“Should just shove m’dick in here, huh? I bet that’d get you to shut the fuck up,” she spat out and your back arched deeper at her proposal.

You felt another glob of spit land on your other hole, her thumb immediately circling it before popping the tip of it in. You let out a loud moan at the intrusive sting. 

“Been wanting me to fuck this ass since I said it, haven’t you?” She rasped at you. 

“Yeah!“

“Yeah!” She mocked you in a squeaky tone. “You’re disgusting, who woulda thought you would like this type of shit.” 

Her thumb was fucking in and out of your hole as fast as she could manage. You shouldn’t like how much it hurts, that burn shouldn’t be making your orgasm build up again. 

She let your hair go and your head flopped onto the pillow in front of you. Your nails dug into it when you felt her dick line up at the entrance of your pussy before she shoved it in. You let out a muffled shout.

You didn’t have a chance to adjust before she started fucking into you hard. Squelchy noises, slaps of skin, and your screams of pleasure immediately filled the room, her headboard knocking against the black walls. It was so fast and hot and made you feel cheap, and you fucking loved it. It made you feel desired. 

“This is what you wanted me to do in that fuckin’ closet?” 

“Yeah, daddy, fuck!” 

“Wanted me t’fuck you up? Make you m’fucking bitch?” 

“Uggh! El—!”

“Shouldn’t even be fucking you in this bed,” She groaned out, grinding her thumb deep into your ass.

“Should’ve bent you over that dinner table, right in front of that fucker.” 

The imagery of Ellie fucking into you in front of your asshole of a waiter, making you scream out in front of everyone eating and drinking, claiming you as hers so that they know who you belong to made you see white. You bit down on the pillow in front of you as bursts of wetness left your cunt and splattered onto your thighs, the pillows, and Ellie’s dick. But she didn’t stop, you felt her go faster. Hit deeper.

“M’cu-mming!” you screamed, shouts of prickling pleasure muffled by the material in your mouth.

“Yeah? Tha’s making you cum? Wanna get fucked in public like a whore?” 

“D-ahh! Fuckme!”

“Baby’s so stupid for this dick,” Her tip was hitting your fucking cervix and it hurt so good. You were about to cum again! “Who’s pussy is this?” 

“S’your pussy! S’daddy’s pussy!” 

“Keep sayin’ that, s’gonna make me cum so hard,” she groaned out, her thumb leaving your ass and ripping the pillows from underneath you, your hips dropping onto the bed. You felt her push back into you, her chest on your back as she grinded deep into you. Her arm came around your neck, your throat right in the crevice of her elbow as you let the pillow fall from your mouth. Your nails were digging into the covers as your cunt gushed on her.

“You’re getting so fucking wet. Like when I fuck you up? Treat you like shit?” 

“Yeah yeahyeah—!” 

“Make me cum, babygirl,” she whispered in your ear. “Fuck me back, c’mon.” 

You pushed back onto her as best as you could as she grinded forward, even though it was quick and sloppy and desperate. She started moaning out fucks and like thats and all you could mumble out was slurry s’yours, daddy! because you knew she liked it. Her voice on its own was getting you there.

“Fuck, m’gonna fucking cum— “

“Uh huh! Cum in me, daddy pleasepleaseplease!” you squealed out in dazed excitement. You want her cum you want her cum! 

“Fuuuck, babygirl, s’coming—!”

“Please make my p-pussy sloppy?” you could barely get your pleas out as your mind fogged. You couldn’t even bring yourself to feel embarrassed at your eagerness for her cum, and by the way Ellie shouted your name in your ear as her body shook on top of yours, she must’ve somewhat liked it? Right? 

Your second thoughts quickly died as you fucked back onto her, helping her ride out her orgasm. She was crying out as her nails dug into your shoulder, and the sharp pierce made you cum again! You let out babbles of her name in your pleasure. You were both messes in each other's arms, you pushing back while she pushed forward, trying to make it last as long as you could before it died down.

You let out wet groans as she grinded you both to the ends of your orgasms, and you collapsed. 

You felt a light kiss on your shoulder before Ellie gently pulled out of you, falling onto the bed so that you were side by side. You both tried to catch your breath in your exhaustion. 

After minutes of heavy breathing and light caresses from Ellie, you reached under to grab the object that was digging into your side. When you saw what it was, your eyes widened, and stomach twisted. 

You heard Ellie laugh softly next to you, “We didn’t get to use it.” 

You paused as you stared at the buttplug that she’d thrown on the bed, the faux emerald at the end of it shining under the green fairy lights. 

“It’s pretty,” you said in a hoarse whisper. 

“Mhm,” she nodded. “Feels good, too.” 

Your toes curled.

“What’s it feel like?” 

She smiled, “You sound cute when you ask that.” 

You shook your head and grinned shyly, “I’m just curious, I assume it’s… nice, or whatever! People on Twitter always talk about it.” 

“Yeah, it’s really fucking nice.” 

“Have you used it?” She nodded. 

“Course I have, used all of ‘em.” 

“Tell me what happened!” you said, dropping the toy on the bed before giddily flipping onto your side to face her. It made her giggle; You loved that sound. 

“I was… like in this sex shop in Cali, and the cashier was like ‘heyyy, your orders over a hundred dollars, you can get a free item, blah blah blah’— “ 

“Not that, you bonehead! I mean when you use it!” You both let out loud laughs. 

Her smile dropped slowly before she whispered, “Came really fuckin’ hard the first time I tried it, like… really hard. Swore I saw god.” 

Your core squeezed in intrigue. You listened closely as she continued, “Like, I was still cumming even after I switched it off. There was a giant puddle on the floor when I finally stopp—.” 

“Ellie?” you softly cut her off.

“Yeah, honey?” 

“Can you… will you… I wanna try?” you said as your face burned, hoping she would accept your poor proposal to take your… other virginity. 

You watched a sly grin slowly grow on her face.

“Lemme go check on Duchess’n smoke.” 

You nodded slowly with a fluttery blink. 

It was almost midnight, and you were laying next to Ellie on her couch in her Lauryn Hill shirt as you nursed a bottle of water. You watched as she exhaled the smoke from her pre-roll. 

After chasing Duchess around the kitchen and living room, you both covered her in kisses before filling her food bowl and shutting the guest door as she ate. 

“Such a nice view,” you mumbled as you gazed out the large window. You’d never been fond of the city: you always appreciated the stillness of your town, the close community where everyone knew each other, but the scenery in front of you almost makes you want to change your mind. It was always so lively and bright, even in the darkness. 

“Right? When I first moved in, I slept in front of the window for weeks. The noise helped me sleep a bit better and the lights are pretty,” She said quietly before taking a puff. You listened and watched as she exhaled the smoke. You sat your bottle on the floor before speaking.

“Can I try?” 

“You know how?” She asked impishly with a raise of her brow as the remnants of her puff left her mouth and nose. 

“Fuck you! I know how to smoke, I just choose not to!” 

“Right,” she said with an eye roll, gently tapping the ashes off on the ashtray in front of her before passing the joint to you. 

You propped yourself up on your elbows before taking it between your thumb and pointer finger, watching the smoke leave the lit end before sticking it between your lips. You only inhaled for a couple seconds before pulling it from your mouth, softly coughing. 

You slowly turned your head to look at her for approval, finding that she was already watching you. Her hair was still damp from earlier, her lips were swollen, and she was still in her boyshorts. 

“Meh. Still a fucking rookie,” she said in a light tone as she wet her lips. You shoved her shoulder with yours, making her laugh. 

“That strain’s supposed to make you horny,” she whispered, attempting to grab the joint from you. Something nasty curled in your gut at her tone, mindlessly bringing the joint back to your lips and inhaled some more before she could snatch it. You held it much longer than the first puff before choking on the carbon, making her laugh at you. You felt her pat your back gently through your coughs. You passed it back to her and she took it with a shake of her head. 

After she smoked her joint down, she bolted upstairs, swiftly returning to the couch with full hands. 

You flipped onto your back as she pressed the button on the buttplug remote, and it immediately started pulsing. She smirked down at you. 

“There’s a couple settings, we can try ‘em all and see which one you like the most, ‘kay?” 

You nodded eagerly as she switched it off and threw the toy on the couch next to her dick and flavored lube. She straddled you, grabbing your face in both hands to connect your lips in a soft kiss. You hummed into her mouth before she pulled away. 

“Lemme give you head first, though.” 

“S-sure.” 

She hummed before smacking her wet lips onto yours. She planted wet, sucking kisses on your jaw, neck, and shoulder before she moved down your body. She lifted the shirt you had on just under your tits before she went crazy on your clit. She was flicking and licking and sucking between your legs as your fingers ran through her soft hair to pull her closer. Your moans and noises of your pussy as she fucked you with her tongue and fingers filled the entire first floor of her home. You came so quickly on her tongue, squeezing the muscle and fingers in a bone-crushing grip. You could tell she liked it as much as you did by how she moaned into your cunt. 

After you came down, Ellie instructed you to hold your legs up so she could see your ass. They were pressed to your chest, both your arms tucked into the crevice of your knees as Ellie prepped you for the toy. 

She’d rubbed some of your cum in before she spat on it, and now she was drenching her fingers and opening in the lubricant as you watched. 

“Just relax, ‘kay?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded. You were a bit nervous, but your walls were clenching with want. 

She nodded before gently rubbing your drenched hole with her pointer and middle finger, making you sigh. You felt her slowly push a finger in and you immediately started to squirm. Your body was so hot already. 

“Okay?” She asked you gently. 

“Yeah m’good,” you said in a wanton sigh. 

She grinned before kissing the back of your thigh. You felt another finger at your entrance before a burning sensation took over when she slowly pressed it in, and your head dropped onto the cushion in a choked gasp. 

“Yeah? You like this shit?” She asked snarkily, but shock was evident in her voice. 

“Y-yeah, El, like it!”

“So fucking cute, gonna fuck this ass so hard,” she whispered out, grinding her fingers deeper before pulling them out to squirt more lube on them. 

She slowly pushed them back in and the lack of resistance made your toes curl. 

“Do me a favor?” 

“M-mhm?”

“Get that nice’n wet for me,” she said, shoving the emerald plug in between your twitchy fingers. You gripped it tight, releasing the hold you had on your legs so you could spread them. You brought your free hand down to your drippy cunt to spread the lips, exposing your clit. You slowly dragged the toy up and down your folds, a quiet, squishy sound joining the already sloppy noises in the room from Ellie’s fingers in your ass. 

You could see her watching with a blush on her face, licking her lips as she prodded another finger at your clenching opening. You could feel the stretch more as she slowly popped the tip of it in, so you distracted yourself. You propped yourself on one elbow to bring the plug down to the entrance of your cunt, slowly fucking it into you. The silicone ridges dragged on your walls, and it made your eyes roll as you moaned softly. Ellie let out a shocked moan as she watched you fuck the plug in and out of your pussy. She leaned forward to spit on your clit, and you brought your shaky hand down to rub it. She mumbled curses out. 

“Thinking about me fucking this pretty pussy? Wan’me t’split you open again?” She hummed out messily. She was just as fucked up as you were, and it made you squeeze. 

“Yeah, daddy,” you moaned out softly, fucking the toy into yourself faster as Ellie fucked three fingers into your ass. “Shit!” 

“Uh huh, nasty slut, look at you milking that fuckin’ toy.” 

You picked up the pace of your shallow thrusts and she matched you, fucking even harder into your ass. You brainlessly brought your wet fingers up to your tits, roughly grabbing at both your nipples in attempts to mimic Ellie’s hands on you. You felt the familiar pull in your gut, but it was so much stronger, and you knew it was going to hit you hard. You were going to cum so quick! 

“Ellie,” you could barely get your squeaky warning out, “Thi-think m’gonna, g’na make a m-ess!” 

“Yeah, wan‘it baby, make me wet— “

“M’gonna—!”

You cut yourself off with a sharp gasp as colors exploded behind your eyelids, the hand at your tits slamming onto the cushion to dig your nails into it. Your shouts of pleasure overtook the sputtering sounds of wetness that shot out of you. You pulled the toy out and rubbed quick circles on your clit with it, making you release more juices all over Ellie’s expensive couch. She didn’t even seem to care with how hard she was still fucking your ass, whispering nasty curses at you, talking you through it, calling you sloppy, calling you hers. Your legs were trembling as both holes quivered in release. 

Your sprays were starting to die down with the circles on your clit, Ellie’s fingers slowing. 

Your eyes slowly peeled open, and you were met with her… high ass ceiling! You smiled as you felt her place kisses all over your thighs. 

“Tired?” she mumbled out against your knee. 

You slowly shook your head when you regained your ability to move.

“Wan’more.”

And she smirked. 

Ellie moved you onto your stomach, —if she kept fucking you like this, you were going to die! — your face shoved into her cushion so you were surrounded by her scent. Your ass was, once again, propped up on Ellie’s expensive fucking pillows that you were about to stain with your sopping cunt, but neither of you cared. She was lubricating the plug from behind you, the gooey noises from the slippery liquid filling your ears. 

You should’ve never hit that fucking aphrodisiac of a joint when she passed it to you: you never wanted to have sex so fucking bad in your life. You just lost your virginity a few hours ago; What’s happening to you?!

You couldn’t think of anything except Ellie and cumming and Ellie’s cum! You wanted her cum inside you so bad, you want to drown in her with every chance she’d give you—

“Ready, baby?” 

“Yes, daddy, m’ready, need it s’bad,” you muffled into the cushion, your cheek squished against it. You sounded so… far away. 

“Listen t’you, all floaty,” she murmured. You could hear her grin through it, it made your toes curl, “Feelin’ good?” 

“S’good, daddy, fuck me please?” 

“…Look at me, babe.” 

You used all your energy to lift yourself up onto your elbows turning your sweaty, thoughtless head towards her, gazing over your shoulder and into her gentle, concerned eyes. She’s so beautiful—

“Baby?” 

“Hm?” 

“Why're you smilin’?” 

“M’happy,” you felt yourself grin harder. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm,” you nodded lightly. “W’na fuck.” 

“‘Kay,” she nodded, her searching gaze still lingering on your face. “Tap my thigh twice.” 

You reached a limp hand behind you, immediately following her instructions. 

“You do that when you wanna stop, okay?” You nodded, you felt like a bobble head. You want her in your guts now. 

“What're you gonna do when you wanna stop?” 

You paused.

Then tapped her thigh twice. You dropped your head on the cushion again. 

You felt her kiss down your back. You sighed happily. 

She slowly rubbed your clit and you jolted, before pushing your hips back onto her fingers. She was planting gentle kisses all over your back and shoulders to relax you. You let out a whine at the feel of her lips on you. 

Then you felt the silicone on your hole. You moaned into the cushion in excitement and anticipation, you needed it to pulse inside you so badly. 

“What’re gonna do when you wanna stop?” She repeated, her breathing heavy. 

You slapped her thigh a bunch of times. You needed her to know you wanted it. You needed this so badly! You needed to know she wanted you!

Then you felt her pop the tip of it inside you. You cried out in appreciation as your holes clenched tight, trying to suck the toy deeper into you. She was pressing soft kisses all over your spine as she slowly pushed it in. You hadn’t realized that you were grinding your clit into the soft fabric of the pillow under you.  

“Such a good girl, taking it so easy,” You felt her push the last little part of it inside your ass before the little jewel at the end of it was poking out of you. It was so foreign, but you couldn’t help the satisfied sighs and soft cries as you pussy dripped all over her pillows and couch. 

You felt her plant one more kiss at the end of your spine before you felt the vibrations stir in your ass. 

“Fuck, oh god! M’—aah!”

“Yeah? Feels fucking good, doesn’t it?” 

You didn’t even have the ability to think of an answer before you felt her dick poke at the entrance of your cunt, slowly sliding in. Every wire in your brain went into overdrive as the pulsing of the toy and her cock rattled your insides in unison. She was slowly fucking her dick into you, sliding in deep so her tip bumped into your cervix, making you let out a muffled shout into the couch cushion. 

“Fuckmedaddywan’itharder—!”

Your quick babbles were cut off as she sped up her thrusts, both her hands planted at the end of your back so she could rock you back and forth on her dick. She was drilling you, your slick coating the balls of her strap. You felt yourself slowly drifting away, your eyes crossed in your head and drool spilling down your cheek. All you could think about was Ellie. EllieEllieEllie—!

“M’right here, babygirl, I gotchu,” she cooed at you as she dug you out and you went limp. You heard the gushy sounds of your pussy and fuck, you were going to squirt so hard you felt it in your toes—

You felt the vibrations in your ass increase and you let out shouts of bliss, her tip beating your cervix just how you needed with every thrust. For the first time in your life, your brain was silent: no doubt, no loathing, no anxiety. Just pure ecstasy. You felt so fucking full. Full of her and joy and love! You love her and you never wanted her to leave you again. You love her you love her—

“M’yours, daddy, promise!” Tears pricked at your eyes as that hot feeling grew in your stomach. Your heart was pounding, and you couldn’t think, you just rambled as pleasure and happiness and love rushed through you. You were about to cum, all over her, all for her—!

“Shhh, I know, baby, it’s okay— “

“Don’t wan’anyone else! M’yours, always yours!”

You don’t remember when, but Ellie had pulled out of you. And the vibrations stopped. But you were still riding that edge, this close to your peak. Your fists clenched tight, and your hips bucked back to meet hers even though she wasn’t there to catch them. You heard Ellie gently call out your name from your side as she rubbed your back in attempts to slow your fuzzy babbling, “Look at m— “

“Always loved you, daddy, always been you, m’yours, m’all you— “

You cut yourself off with moans of her name and incoherent shouts and sobs of love you so much! I love you! as your orgasm ripped through you. Your thighs trembled as colorful specs of glitter exploded in your vision. You heard yourself screaming out as wetness splattered all over you and the couch and everywhere, and it didn’t stop. Your euphoria was so strong, your clenching cunt spraying as your ass squeezed around the plug shoved deep inside you. You were just shaking and crying and cumming and cumming and cumming—

You don’t know how much time passed, but you were still shaking as tears rolled down your cheeks. You couldn’t feel the plug inside you and Ellie’s strap was gone: you were pressed against her bare chest, your tits pressed together as she held you close. She was rubbing your back as she pressed gentle kisses to the side of your sweaty head, gently humming in your ear. You slowly brought your arm up to limply throw around her waist. You couldn’t say anything.

“Hi, honey,” She barely whispered in your ear. “Can you look at me?” 

You slowly shook your head. You felt her kiss your head again. 

“S’fine, just breath, okay?” 

You nodded again. And your eyes welled up some more. 

She must’ve heard your sniffling because she immediately pulled back to gently caress your cheek. You tried to turn your head to hide in the cushion, but she wasn’t having it. 

“C’mon angel, it’s just me, okay?”

You slowly redirected your gaze to hers, your vision blurry as you studied her features. You cried harder, sobbing as you nestled into her shoulder. 

She didn’t press you after that, she only held you tighter. She whispered gentle shhhs and s’okay, baby, m’heres as you wept into her sweaty skin. 

You know she heard your confession of your long-lasting feelings for her, and even though she didn’t seem upset with you, you couldn’t shake the embarrassment, confusion, and despair that overtook you. 

But she held you. She held you so tight. 

After your gasped sobs eased into soft whimpers and shaky exhales, Ellie guided you upstairs and into her bathroom, strong arms wrapped around your waist to steady your uncoordinated movements. 

She lifted you onto the counter and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before moving to the shower to turn it on. All you did was stare at her black towel hanging from the wall rack. You still couldn’t think. 

You heard her shuffling around before she moved back to you, easily easing you off the counter and into the shower, making sure to place you under the warm water first. 

You gaped at the droplets sliding down the shower wall and she rubbed the lathered sponge into your skin softly. She littered you with kisses the entire time: on your face, shoulder, fingers, anywhere she could reach. But you couldn’t move, and neither of you said anything. 

After Ellie rinsed you off, she gently dried your coils and face while kissing your nose. You allowed her to wrap you in a towel, gently drying off the rest of your body as you looked off into nothing. 

“C’mon, honey,” she whispered into your ear as she moved behind you, holding onto your waist and walking you to her bed to sit you down, her soiled blanket already discarded on the floor. 

It seemed like everything was moving in slow motion as you gazed around her room: the lights were twinkling like fireflies, her fan in the corner of the room whirring like gusts of wind in your ears, the strings of the rug under your feet reminding you of clouds. 

She softly called your name as she walked in front of you. Your legs fell open so she could stand between them, “Look at me.” 

You took a deep breath before meeting her tender gaze. She cupped your cheeks, softly rubbing her thumbs into them, “You needa eat and drink something, okay? Want some water?” 

You nodded.

“Is it okay if I leave for a sec— “

You shook your head quickly as tears filled your eyes at the thought of her leaving. You need her close, you need her here with you—

“Shhh, not gonna go, not leaving, I’m right here,” she comforted immediately, planting more kisses all over your face. 

“Want some clothes?” You shook your head, and she nodded gently. She gave your lips one more kiss before ushering you to stand. She walked over to her dresser and grabbed her pine-scented lotion and ointment. She moved behind you, rubbing the soothing cream on your ass before moisturizing your skin, the pine surrounding you. You calmed down at the smell.

“Okay, baby, come lay down.” 

She grabbed your wrist gently as she moved you to your side, telling you to lay on your stomach as she pulled a new blanket from her linen cabinet. You obeyed silently. 

You were instantly surrounded by warmth as she tucked you into her forest-scented covers. You heard her shuffling behind you before she walked around to her side in a new pair of boxers. 

She laid next to you, pulling you into her chest as you breathed her in, sighing contently into her skin. She smelled so fucking good! You grinned.

She must’ve felt it as she pressed kisses to your head, “What’re you cheesing for?” 

You shook your head and grinned harder, nestling deeper into her neck. She laughed lightly. 

“We’ll talk in the morning, okay?” She whispered out to you.

You nodded, eyes shut. 

You dreamt of pine-filled meadows. 

OOOOOOWEEEE alright bookies that’s it :p i already got ideas 4 the next part LOOOOOL so yeah gonna start writing that soon. hope y’all liked it and the wait 4 the real smut was worth it. lots to comeeee 

hope its proofread enough lol i always think that it is n then i go back and see a bunch of errors

pt. 6

shoutout to my wittle taglist🥺 love yall so bad n thank u for being interested in this little project i created :D @fandomshitpostingqueen, @nymphetkoo, @sawaagyapong , @gold-dustwomxn , @amitycat , @nil-eena , @elsivy , @constellieationn , @letsreadsomesins-shallwe :3

[theygotbitchesinmedia]

okay so here is her review: https://arkadymartine.wordpress.com/2015/09/27/the-traitor-baru-cormorant-a-reviewresponse/

admittedly its from 2015- i haven't poked around to see how she may have changed how she feels about it, and i know she did blurb seth's recent scifi novel (Exordia), so there's no bad blood there or anything. it's also a positive review, in general- she ends with this sentence: "I highly, highly recommend this book; I have not thought so much about something I read in a long time."

i am also coming into this as someone who has read all of seth dickinson's work for the game destiny, where he was near-singlehandedly responsible for a good oh… 80% of the interesting women (& overall interesting concepts lol!) in the game, and his writing of one of those characters in particular as a complex and flawed character got him bullied viciously off of all social media. if you've tried to find his social media presence and havent found anything, that's why. so i mayhaps have a little more emotion in the game.

THAT SAID. here are some specific parts from her review i find really fucking annoying! and color the way i feel about Memory & Desolation, despite them being so incredibly targeted at me as a classics person AND someone who fucking loves the specific sub-genre of scifi her novels are.

"[Traitor] asks a question which I find compelling as a student of an empire and as a queer woman. That question is: what do we gain by complicity? What do we – we barbaroi, we women, we queer people, we imperialized – what do we get when we say yes? When we say yes I will hide my true nature? When we say yes I will subsume myself into the beautiful machine? When we say can we speak English? Or the literature I love just happens to be written by straight white men – and mean it, too, mean it with the kind of depthless love that a person can have for a text that speaks to them, which holds up a mirror to them?"

i dont think the use of the greek word for barbarian does anything here (she also keeps coming back to the greek term orthos in her review, which also pisses me off lol), i dont think empire is a "beautiful machine," and i don't think the invocation of identity politics is useful. like. i know she's a byzantine scholar but if your first association with empire is purely a finite Historical Empire instead of, like, modern US imperialism, or British colonialism, you are going into this discussion with a certain set of values and opinions! a set of values and opinions that let you call an empire a "beautiful machine" in all earnestness. this claim probably seems unsubstantiated and nitpicky now just from this excerpt but ill come back to it with more i promise. on the idpol front, she also says immediately after this that she does believe that straight people can and should write queer people, but that they should listen to queer people when they point out those errors. she then continues:

"But then, critique: there are two points on which I think Dickinson’s portrayal of a queer protagonist has faltered, and I think both of these errors arise from the fact that he isn’t part of – as far as I know at the time of writing this review – a queer community. Firstly, I disbelieve Baru’s awareness of her own desires… …For the first portion of the book, her queerness felt more like a character trait assigned to her for reason of plot than a naturally built part of her as a person… Secondly, I wonder where queer people in Falcrest are…"

theres more to these excerpts, but. i personally didnt find the depiction of baru's desire to be unrealistic, and also this was a review of Traitor, specifically, so where on earth would baru have heard about queer people in falcrest? and more importantly, why should we care so much about queer people in the imperial core? moreover i think the way seth does it with svir is very very well done, and illustrates the hypocrisy of empire in a way that does NOT seem like what martine is asking for here!!!

"Why am I invested? I myself am a student of empire. I’m a Byzantinist. My academic work is about empire and its seductions; it is the animating principle of my professional life. And: I am myself someone who loves order over disorder. Who looks for systems in all things. Who is comforted by structures; who is concerned deeply with propriety. But here’s my real criticism of this book: I don’t buy the seduction of the Masquerade. And I think if this book fails, it’s there: in that its empire is too easily read as undesirable. As profane, unethical, fundamentally wrong. It is really overtly evil." … "The Masquerade isn’t civilized. It’s civilization, but I don’t recognize it as civilized, and this is a problem with a constructed empire. An empire relies on itself as the definition of civilization – I would footnote here Ann Leckie’s Imperial Radch as a SFnal example of an empire which is built on this principle, and which, for this reader at least, achieves the facsimile. (But then my ancestors were not enslaved, we were exterminated; not annexed, but exiled. Perhaps I like the Radch better than the Masquerade because I can find a place for myself in it, and cannot imagine a place within the Masquerade someone like me would ever be safe –)"

and THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE IS MY BIGGEST PROBLEM. critiquing the masquerade as not "seductive" enough, calling it too evil to have people join it- how does someone miss the point THIS badly??? like. are you FUCKING serious??? how do you read a book about the immense violence of colonialism and your problem is that it is boohoo too violent for people to join willingly. google literally fucking anything the US has done ever!!! and the invocation of the concept of "civilized" as an objective quality, despite the recognition that the empire constructs what counts as "civilization" is so fucking unserious/simplistic/juvenile! why do you need to imagine yourself a place in the empire? in the imperial core specifically!

and i think this particular approach bleeds into her books. i read them at Least 2 years ago, so this is mostly vibes-based, and i will avoid spoilers.

there is such a focus on the allure of the imperial core, on the "beautiful machine" of the empire as she calls it. there is violence done, but it is abstracted away from the wealth of the imperial core. there are no economics there. the empire sees her independent station as a backwater, and there is some cultural tensions there, but there is no realistic violence and exploitation! it is not clear at all what maintains the empire, besides some abstract idea of trade. i also don't know what her Point is with the naming & language conventions, which are very clearly inspired in part by ancient Mayan- e.g. the empire and core planet are called Teixcalaan. and idk this may be reductive of me but i think if you are going to pull features from civilizations that have been colonized and use them to inspire fictional colonizing forces, you ARE saying something there! idk! and like, the ancient Mayan

and on the ~representation~ front, i also don't think she does a better job than seth tbqh!!! i felt like the characters getting together came out of nowhere and felt anticlimactic- there is also not the tension i think there should be with the main character being an ambassador-ish and the love interest being… idr. junior intelligence officer iirc? idk! and for all her critique of baru's desire for women not feeling "real" or present enough, i do not remember the main character in Memory having any real focus on it!

i enjoyed Memory just fine, but i don't think it says anything interesting or novel or even critical about empire, and i found her review of Traitor extremely shallow and useless, if very revealing about her own outlook on empire lol!!!

this has been at best Minorly proofread and edited but im not like, writing an academic essay on the matter and so i apologize for any inconsistencies.

oh man thanks for this this is really interesting. i went and read the whole thing and i agree a ton with your critique. i'm going to stick my thoughts below the cut because i went on for a bit here, in typical fashion.

i personally didnt find the depiction of baru's desire to be unrealistic, and also this was a review of Traitor, specifically, so where on earth would baru have heard about queer people in falcrest? and more importantly, why should we care so much about queer people in the imperial core?

NO BUT EXACTLY... for starters this is explicitly a novel about colonized people taking place in a colony where none of the major characters are from the empire. where, when, and how would we take the time to explore what queerness looks like for them and more importantly, like you've asked, why the hell should that be a priority for the narrative in this case.

in terms of 'i found this to be an unrealistic depiction of queer desire' 9/10 times i feel like what that means is 'i found this to be an unrelatable depiction' which is an entirely different critique. i know i'm working with two additional books worth of context that martine isn't working with here. but even taking into account just the characterization we have for baru in traitor i think this is suuuuch an unfair complaint. i'm gonna pull the entire quote she says about baru's sexuality here because i have additional specific gripes with it.

Firstly, I disbelieve Baru’s awareness of her own desires. In the first portion of the book, I do not ever feel the weight of Baru’s own awareness of her sexuality; there is an absence of carnality, a kind of intellectual version of lesbian desire which is, to me, inconsistent with the sort of desire I expect. Not until the introduction of Baru’s eventual lover Tain Hu do I get a sense of Baru as a woman who loves women. Further, considering how very much the Empire of Masks and Increastic philosophy criminalizes the sin of queer desire, I wish Baru had struggled more with the nature of her desire. For the first portion of the book, her queerness felt more like a character trait assigned to her for reason of plot than a naturally built part of her as a person. This markedly improved in the second half, where Baru notices women in a way she does not notice men.

For starters, it is insanely hypocritical to me to complain that her desire both isn't carnal enough and she processes it too intellectually, but that she isn't struggling enough with it. Baru intellectually processes things! That's her entire character from the getgo! She also has a difficult time conceptualizing other people as fully realized beings with their own agency. These character traits paired together don't make for a particularly passionate and carnal relationship to her sexuality. She is also, at her absolute oldest in this book, 21! (Or 22? I can't remember. I know she spends 3 years in aurdwynn) and has spent her entire youth being groomed to be a scholar. Of course detached intellectualism is her primary way of navigating all things. Why wouldn't it be?

Baru primary motivation is to save taranoke, she wants to save the taranoki way of life, and part of that way of life includes an acceptance of nonhetero nonmonogamous relationships. Sure, a different character arc may have involved baru actually internalizing and then having to break free of the trappings of race, gender, and sexuality that the empire tries to impose upon its citizens. but that's not baru and acting like this is a writing flaw rather than a character choice is insane to me.

There's absolutely no reason for Baru to lie awake at night pontificating about how wrong and dirty of her it is to want to have sex with women because we are never lead to believe even for a minute that Baru puts any emotional weight in incrasticism. She doesn't conceptualize it as sinful she conceptualizes it as illegal!

And "Not until the introduction of Baru’s eventual lover Tain Hu do I get a sense of Baru as a woman who loves women. " is killing me in particular because like. Yeah. Tain Hu is baru's first love. thats the point. But beyond that this is just not being able to see anything other than what she's looking for because i think the chapters covering baru's childhood make it pretty clear that her feelings for aminata and cousin lao (im not double checking the name but im pretty sure it was this) are deep and strong. the fact that they're not as explicitly and straightforwardly romantic and sexual as her relationship with tain hu doesn't change that, and in fact, points to baru's struggle with/development of her sexuality that she claims was somehow missing in this book.

like i just simply can't see anything here but someone who is seeing an emotional landscape they can't relate to and assuming that means it's flawed writing. skill issue frankly.

She's also fucking insane for acting like the masquerade is too cartoonishly evil to be appealing. once again im going to post her full quote here because i think its important to see

its empire is too easily read as undesirable. As profane, unethical, fundamentally wrong. It is really overtly evil. It punishes sexual “deviants” with mutilation and death. It murders children callously. It inflicts plague and withholds vaccines. It lobotomizes its own emperors for the sake of convincing its populace that the emperor is just. Most of all, the Masquerade is a eugenicist empire: it is explicitly founded on not purity of bloodline but on purification of bloodline, on making people useful to it. It makes people: it breeds them carefully, it indoctrinates them through schools, it uses drugs and operant conditioning to transform their minds and make them into automata tools. It commits every atrocity that a modern Western reader recognizes as abhorrent. This is a problem. It is a problem because we are asked, as readers, to believe that there are reasons besides blackmail that a person would willingly become an agent of the Masquerade. We are asked to imagine that the Masquerade is a beautiful machine.

for starters. "It commits every atrocity that a modern Western reader recognizes as abhorrent." MODERN WESTERN EMPIRES DID, AND OCCASIONALLY STILL DO, MOST OF THESE THINGS!!! THIS IS US! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!! I FEEL INSANE!!!!

I think the book makes it more than explicitly clear why the empire is appealing??? it has all of the capital???? its building schools and sewage systems and importing food and goods and teaching reading and writing??? baru's own internal narrative often shows her own strife at the fact that the empire has made genuinely incredible scientific advancements that offer significant improvements in quality of life to many, many people. martine actually acknowledges this in the next paragraph of her review, and then brushes it away as not being good enough. why? what about that doesn't convince you?

she is seeming to hugely ignore the fact that in the case of aurdwynn specifically, the bureaucracy of the empire is coming in to unseat feudal aristocracy! what the masquerade offers may not be particularly tempting to most of that ruling class, but its economic opportunities are more then believably appealing to the common people. i think this is made pretty clear when baru's ploy to use the fiat bank to make loans to the aurdwynni people and basically lessen the massive tax burdens from the duchies wins her huge favor with the public.

and frankly even for the ruling class the potential economic benefits are massive too if you're willing to participate in the empire properly. yes the empire doesn't have Moral appeal. it doesn't fucking have to. it owns pretty much every economy outside of the oriati mbo. the fact that that's not enough for her is as you've pointed out really really showing her biases and blind spots. 'no reason besides blackmail' MONEY!!!! MONEY! IT'S MONEY! THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT ACCOUNTING! HOW DID YOU MISS THAT!!!

and the invocation of the concept of "civilized" as an objective quality, despite the recognition that the empire constructs what counts as "civilization" is so fucking unserious/simplistic/juvenile! why do you need to imagine yourself a place in the empire? in the imperial core specifically!

And this is really it for me too, yeah. It's gross. It's absolutely gross. "An empire isn't believably appealing unless I, personally, find it appealing" there are people alive who are eugenicists, who love community policing, who believe in race science. the masquerade is an empire for them. the thing about empires is that they are only actually empowering for an incredibly small subset of people, and the fact that You, Specifically, Arkady Martine can't imagine being one of those people in this instance doesn't make it not believable. This is a shatteringly individualist way of engaging with a work.

As for your points about the way she handles empire in her own book obviously i can't have anything to say there because i haven't read it yet, but i do absolutely agree with you on this bit:

and idk this may be reductive of me but i think if you are going to pull features from civilizations that have been colonized and use them to inspire fictional colonizing forces, you ARE saying something there! idk! and like, the ancient Mayan

1000% i don't think this is reductive of you. whether or not you're consciously saying anything is one question but it's a choice that absolutely doesn't exist in a vacuum. out of curiosity i googled her to see if she was of mayan descent or anything and maybe she chose that due to some personal ties to the subject matter but she doesn't seem to be. which of course i don't think means she can't or shouldn't draw any inspiration from there but i do think all of these sorts of choices are meaningful

i don't really have much to say here to round off a conclusion but. wow. deeply deeply telling review that does not particularly make me want to read anything she has written beyond this.

[galakaz]

Some things i found notable in part 3 of canto 7 (also just an overview tbh)

That zewi story don told at the beginning sounds like fixer 300 ngl (i havent watched 300) Samcho remembering the name don by looking at the bottom of her boots is funny to me ngl that hana fixer has definitely been around the block if they had posters of her back then I predicted correctly that the silver haired don was the original don and made the amusement park it seems as long as dante can prove that they are accessing the situation and things are going well enough to plan it will calm outis' anxiety Surprised we never saw carmilla dispite seeing those distorted by it (rip funny blue haired guy and the west zwei) Silver haired don getting his idea for an amusement park and coexisting with a person due to a promise (for a "tomorrow") and the fact he fought her for so long he just got interested by her and her tales (to the point even samcho listened in) is interesting that duel between bari and silver haired don makes me ask what did fights in the library really look like cause theres no way those lot are dueling harder then some of the star of the city tier fights in ruina POV: fighting sancho phase 1

No seriously who taught that women how to box i thought she would start by using her blood weapons not by going left right goodnight at the first sinner who loses a clash

This image really be kinda how i feel about don after all the time (she did grow on me i didnt hate her at first but i did start finding her more enjoyable as time went on

Ngl my first reaction to reading this was "people self shipping when you tell them their ship is evil", also shows that dante is starting to get a lot more considerate of the sinners and willing to accept them no matter who they are if they are willing to change (also probs why they are called SINNERS) Mili banger as usual BINAH! I just realized we are actaully for once doing the kabbalah in the right direction this time starting from the top and going to hokma, binah ect rather then malkuth Row Row fight the power (i havent watched gurren lagann i really should though)

The qte grabbing me by the throat and going "NO YOU ARE HELPING HER DREAM TOO START MASHING"

HERO IM GOING TO PROVE MY VERSION OF JUSTICE IS MORE JUST THEN YOURS UNO REMAINING ON THIS STAGE I AM THE ONLY ONE I AM MY BIGGEST FAN I AM MY BIGGEST FAN I AM MY ENEMY AND MY FRIEND

Felt uncomfortable (not in a bad way) some of the ways this canto touched me personally (also unbreakable coins are a pain), canto is amazing though (crying samcho now don did get me

Also what the fuck does his blue ass want anyway he keeps popping up

The barber is hotter then dulcinea

[dullgecko]

i think fig is the absolute last person to realize theyre not a girl. its not that the closet is glass its that they think they are frolicking in a field, closet? yeah im gay what about it? everyone knows?, everyone sees that they are trans in some way and just. assumes they know. and will talk about it when they want to. or that they know but are just keeping it to themselves yk. that they dont really mind the she/her pronouns enough to come out.

i think gilear is the first to notice, not in a ‘i think my child is trans way’ he just slowly (accidentally) starts calling them child instead of daughter and stops using figueroth and instead uses just fig. fig themself doesnt notice one bit and neither does gilear tbh, but at some point he is exclusively using gender nuetral terms for them and it feels a lot more normal than using feminine terms so he sticks with that

the bad kids all notice. gorgug considers reaching out when he first starts thinking about gender stuff, to ask for advice about how theyre so unbothered by it, but maybe hes misreading them and its not being unbothered but actually just not being ready to talk about it so he goes to kristen instead

sometimes kristen and gorgug will both talk to jawbone about gender things, and he doesnt really have personal experience but he has enough second-hand experience to help, at one point he asks them why fig doesnt talk to him about it — “does fig talk to you guys?” “no? i think they talk to gilear about gender stuff, he always seems up to date on it. they havent come out ?? so weve just been quiet about it” jawbone tries to drop hints and fig is completely oblivious (“so, fig, i heard theres this educational event for parents of gender-questioning and trans kids. im planning on going. do you think i should invite gilear?” “oh yeah that would probably be great for working with kids! for his job! as the assistant principal! oh or do you mean for fabian? theres definitely something goin on with fabian. i dont think fabian knows he has gender baggage yet?” she has NO idea save her)

adaine, riz and fabian have no clue what to do so they just dont really mention it. adaine has seen a prophetic vision that just happened to have fig with an ��all pronouns’ pin, but like, you dont just mention that to someone ?? fabian fully doesnt say anything about it, riz forced himself to not investigate anything because its none of his business but ooooo he wanted to. he really wanted to. then again he would fail miserably at clocking non-goblinoids on trans stuff anyways because there is simply no way that goblins have anywhere close to similar gender structures to humanoid races

ayda is chilling with it, she may be a lesbian but she really couldnt care less what gender fig turned out as. i think eventually adaine confides with ayda about her vision and ayda just asks fig what pronouns theyd like to go by, fig is absolutely flabbergasted when they realize they have to think about it for multiple seconds before realizing that they really dont mind any of them. they decide this is most definitely not a trans thing, just a ‘i dont really mind 🤷 ill just use she/her since its what everyone sees me as anyways! surely everyone feels this same way!’

ayda prompty forces her to talk to kristen and gorgug about it and after doing so lots and lots they realize, finally, that theyre genderfluid. this takes time to sink in tbh, i dont think fig would just be okay im trans time to move on, and i think they would take every step in their transition really slowly actually. they find it lots of fun though!

everyone is pretty surprised to know fig didnt know they were trans, but coming out is so easy when 1 your friends are awesome and 2 you say “im genderfluid” and everyone says “oh you finally figured it out!” so everything falls in place very seamlessly

Gotta love a good trans bad kid headcannon. A+

[minminho0]

✤------------------------------------------✤

◈Why her?◈

✤------------------------------------------✤

<Scaramouche x Reader>

<Aether x Reader>

-Angst ~ No comfort

Summary: All it took was a single follower to ruin your relationship with him

Gender: Female

Warnings: Murder, violence, attempted murder, replaced, stalking, obsession, yandere-ish reader, attepted suicide, bad writing skills [Thats all i think]

A/n: I hope you enjoy~!

(Feel free to correct my grammar!)

---

You've been with Scara through thick and thin. You were always there for him, comforting him, supporting him, listening to him, helping him, killed innocents for him, anything you could think of, you did it all for him.

.

"Why are you doing this!?"

"Because I love him."

.

After hours of listening to screams and begs, you finally heard silence.

Here you are again tonight, killing another innocent family just because Scara wants you too even if you didn't want to, you did. Because you would do everything and anything for him.

.

.

.

"You're home" you heard someone say. You looked at the couch of your house to see him.

"Did you kill them all?"Scara said looking at you.

"Yes"

"Good"

"Have you eaten yet?"

"Ya"

"Without me again?" You said while sitting down beside him, slightly frowning.

He just looked at you with a blank face and leaned on your shoulder.

"Oh! Scara i havent washed up yet! The blood would stain your clothes" you said, trying to gently push the man off you

.

He then grabbed your hand and said "I dont care, stay here" he glared.

.

.

.

It was nice being with him afterall he was your only someone and you're his only someone. You're not really good at socializing that much and besides you're to busy worshipping Scara to even make friends.

You were kind of glad that Scara...yk only comes to..you? And aslong as he comes home to you, you're happy.

.

.

But one day, all of that suddenly changed, when Scara found out about a little follower of his.

You were sad

You were angry

You were happy...?

..You said to yourself that aslong as his happy, you're happy!.....

'but.. why do I feel this way..? Why do i feel like i lost a part of me..?' You thought to yourself.

You looked at the dinner table and saw the dinner you made him untouched.

Each day, Scara's time at home lessen. He spends less time with you and only comes home once in a while.

And everytime he came home, he always talks about that follower.

.

.

.

You spend the whole night at the bathroom thinking about that follower . Feeling jealous because you spent half of your life with him!? And then when a little follower of his pop up, you were suddenly a nobody! You were suddenly replaced because someone new showed up!

"Why her!?"

You hate it so much you cant even scream, you just cried your heart out until you cant no more.

And everytime he talks about her, he always refers to her as his ' first follower' like bich ass what am i?! A roach!?

You spent half of your life with him just not to deserve to be called his follower!??

You cried, you cursed, you pulled, you scratch, you scream, you did everything to express your anger.

And when you found out that Your beloved Scara watches her sleep!? You freaked out!?!!(not infront of him)

You litterly worshipped him!? Why dosent he watch you sleep!? Like wth

"This is so unfair!" I silently screamed.

You're a bit mad that Scara refers to her as his first because he unsurprisingly gets pleasure from seeing your jealous/mad face.

And after you calmed down a bit you swore you're going to get rid af her.

.

.

.

After days, you finally found out where she lives and where her usual spots are.

When Scara has to go away for some things you took this chance to try and assassinate her.

.

.

.

You were about to slit her throat when a hand suddenly grabbed your wrist to a tight hold.

You looked up and you saw him..the same man you fell inlove with...

"WTF ARE YOU DOING!?"

"I- ..I-"

After all what he did to you, he never failed to still make you shy..

.

.

.

"IM SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!" You begged. Bowing so low you touched the ground below.

"Did i tell you to speak?"

You shaked your head, not daring to look at him.

You probably had the worst night after that.

.

.

.

Here you are laying at your bed looking so lifeless.

'What are you gon do now?

Your only purpose in life, left you for another..

'Why her?' You thought, recalling all your memories of him.

You were sad

You were heart broken

"Why am i like this!? Were not even together! We were nothing to begin with!"

'But i cant help it....'

.

.

.

You were walking around the village. Every one giving you wierd looks because you look like a zombie! You litterly tried to starve yourself to death but thought that your life aint dedicated to him so why are you doing this to yourself?

You were walking mindlessly when someone suddenly grabbed your shoulder, you turn around and saw a young man with blonde hair and on his side you saw a ..fairy?

"Hello miss, is everything alright?"

"Ye? Why did you ask ...and base on your clothing it seems like you are not from here.." You looked at him up and down.

.

.

.

After that faithful encounter, you two have gotten close, he visits your home everyday together with the littel fairy called Paimon, and you seem to have gotten better, to the point you start to forget him.

"Hey y/n!" Someone yelled as i turned around to look who it was.

"Oh hey Aether, do you need anything?" I smiled at him.

You admired his face, you grew fond of him and even developed a little crush but got pulled away from your little world when he asked you something.

"I wanted to ask you if you want to join my adventures!" He excitedly asked.

"Of course i would love to!" I chimed in excitement.

.

.

.

Months past..

You confessed to Aether about your feelings and he shyly accepted, it was such a cute sight that you just want to bite him smh.

Paimon annoying you both by teasing.

You were so in love that you completely forgot on who your first love even was.

And you three lived happily ever after~

.

.

.

Speaking of first love, what about him? Did he find his happily ever after or did he became a withered rose..

Scara's pov:

After that night, i slowly started to miss her..

Her sweet smile

Her sweet cuddles

Her sweet voice

Her sweet everything

I missed the time when i come home and shes there waiting for me with that lovesick smile, but now when i come home..its-..its just lifeless like me.(lol get it? Cuz hes a puppet and ye-😂😂.......🙂ye you probably didn't laugh..)

And what happened to my first follower?

Ye she moved on and forgot about me..

Cant believe i just lost another when im at my worst.

I thought about all the times i spent with her as i slowly watched her walk down the aisle to her future husband, whos slowly crying.

I settled on just watching her and protecting her from afar since Y/n seems to be enjoying her life more with another than with me..

It hurts but atleast shes happy

.

.

.

In the end, im just nothing but a lost soul.

.

And he live not so happily ever after~!

———

*Masterlist*

Thank you for reading this story!

The story might have changed a bit since ive been putting it off for a while😓

-January 22 2023

Happy Chinese New year 🥰

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for letting out our* indoor cat?

i (24 they/them) live with my mother (51 she/her) and my sister (29 she/her), altho both of us have moved out and lived on our own, but moved back into our childhood home due to economic/health stuff, mostly caused by the pandemic

during the time living on her own, my sister has gotten a dog and two cats. while we all love them and take care of them, i would be lying if my mother and i didn't expect her to, and be annoyed when she isn't, be their primary caretaker

both my sister and myself are against outdoor cats. i dont think its safe for the cat or the local ecosystem, and she agrees. one cat however does not care for our opinons, and tries to escape by any means, having learned to open doors, both with normal handles, and the garden ones, and we had to start locking everything up even when people are at home. due to his tenacity, he is always wearing a collar now, has been microchipped, and is up to date on all outdoor cat vaccinations just in case he does slip away

before you say we should take him on walks — we tried but he starts thrashing so violently in his harness he breaks out of it and runs off. trying to tire him out at home hasn't really been working, cuz he just doesn't want to play with us in the limited space — he likes getting chased

the issue is. i have migraines that have gotten much worse over the past year. i finally started medication about two weeks ago, but apparently it will only start showing any results after 2-3 months

one of the ways the cat tries to get us to let him out is by screaming bloody murder. i think you can guess where this is going

i asked my sister to take him to her room, and she has, but 1) we share a wall so it was still painful, and 2) she works from home, and after about 20 minutes she threw him out and said that sorry, but she just cant have him there. her door locks. mine doesnt. so even if i close the door he will open them and stand by my bed meowing as loud as he can

i was having a bad one. i-have-broken-a-bone-and-this-is-worse bad one. extreme photosensitivity and double vision, sounds hurting, nausea. honestly looking back at it, i probably shouldve called emergency services it was that bad. but i obviously havent been thinking clearly, and all i wanted was for the sound to STOP. so i let him out and went back to being miserable in a dark room

usually when he slips out, we tell my sister immediately, but i didn't. i guess she assumed he gave up. she found out when he showed up at her window couple of hours later

my sister is obviously majorly pissed at me. mam grew up with barncats, so she thinks cats should be allowed to come and go, but since its my sisters cat, she respects him being indoors — but shes annoyed by the racket, and thinks that its on my sister to find a solution, and being mad at me for this is her own problem. i feel really bad bc i really do think that letting hinm out like this is dangerous for him, but i genuinely felt like my head was going to explode

What are these acronyms?

[isatswap]

i realised that i havent made an explanation post for the au so

Introduction

The basic premise is swapping main characters with eachother:

Siffrin < - > Loop

Mirabelle < - > Isabeau

Odile < - > Bonnie

(spoilers for the game begin under the cut. All the spoilers are of various severity so ill just say full game and act 6 secret)

The King < - > Euphrasie

The characters stories and motivations are also changed

Loop: Their story is very close to the original Siffrin, except for one thing - they are a star person! One of a kind (at least as far as Loop knows)! This fact is very distressing for them, so they chose to hide their identity from everyone. No one needs to know they are not human, teehee~.

Mirabelle: A Housemaiden of the Dormont House of Change. Well, at least formally. She went on a long pilgrimage after realising that she doesn't want to change and can't live as a true Housemaiden anymore. Also is much less anxious than her original counterpart.

Isabeau: Like in the original, wanted to finally change into a person he always wanted to be, but alas, his journey of Change was interrupted by Euphrasie's conquest of Vaugarde and had to be replaced with the journey of a savior. Because of this, he is much more shy and anxious than his original counterpart.

Odile: Not very long after her mother abandoned her, Odile's father died. Being unable to deal with her grief of losing both of her parents, she went on an everlasting journey, wandering through Vaugarde, trying to find a place she could call home. And all that as a young teenager. Also carries around a comically large book, I wonder what that is about....

Bonnie: A crabbing adult now! And a chef cooker! Had to abandon their home during the Curse, leaving their younger sister Nille behind. As the adult™ of the group, feels like they need to be very responsible and caring for their comrades, but also tries to be jovial about the situation, because who else would it be if not Bonnie!

Siffrin: Imagine having your family, your world, your story stolen from you. What does that mean? I dunno, read the posts and you might see :). Is almost constantly livid at Loop, though tries to not show it much.

The King and Euphrasie: The King (now just called King because its his name) is the Head Housemaiden and Euphrasie now wants to freeze the country in time. Thats all im gonna tell here. For now at least.

Navigation

Links to all the posts, in chronological order if possible

Not in-game stuff

S!Loop's design thing

Prologue

Be careful what you wish for

Unspecified time period

Lil Siffrin POV

Lil Siffrin POV 2

Act 2

Funny titbit

Act 2 ends here

Act 3

That one sadness again... (Memory of Sadnesses)

Odile's friend quest!

Bonnie's friend quest!

Isabeau's friend quest!

Mirabelle's friend quest!

Siffrin hangout

Scary Lady's "friend" quest.

Hehe just try to say it!

Seeing things.

Sharp objects involved

Act 3 ends here

Act 4

Bonnie is in fact perceptive (sus quest)

Bad touch but no one touched anyone

On the other side

Act 4 ends here

Act 5

The Universe leads.

Eavesdropping on your "friends"

It's the bathroom

Loop dies...

Loop doesn't die

And this too shall pass.

Act 6

When the hats are two!

Something wrong. (0 hats)

[t4transsexual]

have you ever dated cis women? when did you decide to be t4t?

i have dated a couple of cis women, one for a little while and we didnt get on because she was one of those fems who doesnt want their butch/masc/transmasc partner to have feelings and needs and also didnt want me to say no to sex and we didnt last long because i was deeply unhappy with her

as for when i decided to be t4t, i guess its probably about time i open up about the specific instance(s) that lead to me deciding to be exclusively t4t, because i havent actually talked about what pushed me to make the shift into exclusively dating trans people. i was trying to run a more positive page and frankly i wasnt really ready to talk about this so publicly, especially with the terf/transphobe interaction i get almost all the time on this account, but i figure i can now and ill probably turn off replies if i can figure out how

tw for graphic description of sexual assault and transphobia under the cut

when i started medically transitioning, i decided to try dating guys again. keep in mind i had a lot of comphet before deciding i was t4t; i basically only really beat that around 2022 when i turned 20. and i matched with a cis guy on tinder, who looked like he had a lot of personality judging by his photos i was 18, almost 19 at the time

literally the first thing this man says to me, after i tell him im trans, is "oh, cool, i love femboys." red flag #1. i said, "im not a femboy, i present masculinely, dont call me that." he apologized, and we moved on

at some point, we're talking about sex. he says hes very subby and a size queen. all fine, i told him i was a stone top/dom, i didnt really like experiencing penetration and it was painful for me due to a condition i had at the time. he says thats fine, everythings good. this will be important later

later, he tells me he told his parents i was trans. i asked him why, given that he both didnt ask me first and said his parents were transphobic. he says "my mom asked, was i just supposed to lie?" i say, yes. he apologizes, i /really/ want to call the whole thing off at this point but he seemed nice enough that maybe he just didnt know trans dating as well as i did

the entire relationship, he just says transphobic shit. he told me that he "understood why people didnt want to date trans people, because its a lot of baggage." he was an active alcoholic by the way. and also dating a trans person. he would neg me for being trans and then turn around and say that i was such a hot guy. he even misgendered me one time, and got upset at me for getting pissed about it, and made me believe i was overreacting. he made me believe that he was doing me a favor by ever dating me

at some point, we're at my parents house, and he tells me he wants to fuck me with his penis. i tell him no, that i dont want to, that i dont know about it, that im scared, pretty much anything i can say to get him to reconsider, but he argued and said itd be good for me and that i can choose which hole but it became very clear to me that i had no choice. so i said he could fuck my pussy

it was excruciating. it hurt so bad, but i knew i couldnt say no. he couldnt stay hard unless he was degrading me and i didnt want him to, so he kept making me jerk him off so he could keep raping me

eventually he stopped, and i wasnt even really aware i had been raped at first. ive been sexually abused by several people in my life and generally it has taken me a while to accept when ive been sexually abused by a person. so we kept dating like normal, long distance btw, but my mental health was deteriorating. i was suicidal for the first time in a while. i was self harming again. i couldnt stop thinking about killing myself.

eventually, he breaks up with me for being suicidal. he says im guilt tripping him or something, i dont remember. and that was december of 2021

we go no contact. i still dont realize he raped me. but i knew that there was something deeply wrong in the way our relationship was

right after him, i dated a trans woman who we went to the same high school. just the difference in how i was treated by her than by him, with her she treated me like i was an actual equal in the relationship. with him, he felt he was superior to me; like he "owned" me, or something

we broke up, we werent really compatible, but when i got with her, she taught me what being t4t was, and the implicit understanding and the comfort and safety i felt. after we broke up was when i decided i didnt like men, and still remained t4t after

i realized what he did to me was rape nearly a year later. he correctively raped me for being a stone top, more specifically, and i dont think he wouldve been "empowered" to rape me if i was a cis man, or even a cis woman. i understand that the "off" feeling i felt throughout that relationship was because he, as a cis person, felt superior over me as a trans person, and felt that if he wanted to fuck me, i shouldnt get a say. he talked about doing other actions to me that i didnt want done at the time, certainly not by him, and if we werent long distance, he probably wouldve raped me several more times

being with my current girlfriend, we click in a way that i havent felt with any cis person, the women included. she definitely isnt going to rape me for being trans. ive undergone physical therapy so that if i ever got raped again, it wouldnt hurt as bad, and it worked and ive actually enjoyed bottoming (consensually) with my girlfriend. she makes me feel very safe, and we understand each other and each others needs as trans people very well, and being with her has helped me process the time i was raped, and the several other times ive been sexually abused by other people

now that ive had time to process these things, i would say that i dont feel the same way around trans people (including me) dating cis people anymore. when i first started this account, i wouldve never admitted this then btw, i fully did not think trans people should date cis people, because i had fostered such a deep distrust of cis people as a result of that whole relationship and assault. i believed cis people would always be bad partners to trans people, but i dont believe that anymore. in the very unlikely circumstance i find myself single again, i may even consider dating a cis woman again. but probably not, because ive grown to really like the implicit understanding that we as trans people get with other trans people

thats why im t4t, and when i became t4t was around the beginning of 2022