#after seeing this my dad asked my why i dont make good videos :(

[platonic-writer]

CHAOTIC MALE CHILD READER & PLATONIC DOTTORE

You saw dottore who was taking a walk in Sumeru

dottores walk with his hands behind him 😭🙏

You saw his walk and instanly decided hes rich and start following him

What did you do in Sumeru? Yea you're an orphan 😬. Little shit was on the run because he stole food from a stall.

LMAO you followed him until he was at his Laboratory.

Dottore glanced at you for a second and did a double take because why is there a child and how did that child follow him ?

You're face when dottore asked who you are: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The following days you followed dottore and because of that you got the nickname Rat from dottore 💀

"Yeah thats Rat btw. He follows me around. Dont ask why"

You didnt talk to him until some months later

"Oi Rat give me that book"

"SURE BLUE RAT (o^▽^o)"

"(⊙_⊙)"

Yea you thought he was called rat because Dottore always calls you that. So you came to the conclussion that Dottore was called Blue rat because of his blue hair

You once broke something expensive on Dottores table and you just straight up pointed at one of Dottores clones and said "It was him, i saw it with my own eyes"

Poor clone couldnt say that it wasnt him because you blackmailed him 💀

The clone died

Dottore straight up shows his favoritsm, one time you blew up his laboratory and Dottore just shrugged and blaimed the clones for not looking after you

One time he took you to the Fatui meeting, lets say you took one look at childe and called him a stick😭

Childe looked so offended

When the meeting was over you kicked Childe

BRO FELL DOWN SO HARD

Dottore just laughed and told you to do it everytime you see Childe

You know the video where this one child fell down the floor and just looked at the camera angry? Yea thats you

The day you learned of tazers was the day the fatui learned fear

Every damn day people would get tazerd from you. They thought they would be free if they take them away? Nah, you made you're own.

They hurt more

The fatui began wearing protection and you got the name "demon child of Dottore"😭🙏

Dottore was so proud, he allowed you to experiment on a person

Dottore loves you a lot even if he doesent say it

His love comes in the form of giving reader weapons and telling you to make him proud

You once got hurt when you were alone and Dottore came SPRINTING to you

Broski tought you were dying because of a Bruise

The day you got hurt was the last day you were alone

You're now always followed by a clone

The clone was programmed to carry anything that you may want

Toys, food, drinks, weapons, dynamite, bandages, and a book called "looking good for dumbasses"

Yes, you throw that book at childe and yes you also throw dynamite at childe

Dottore couldnt be more prouder

He now calls you his child infront of everyone

You don't mind, you call him Rat Dad

Summary: You may be chaotic but dottore will always love you. Even if you blows shit up.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I hope you liked my first Headcanon! Give me Requests if you want and do tell me if there's something i can improve ♡

[lovelytsunoda]

still alive | pato o' ward

summary: pato's girlfriend really likes halloween. in fact, it's her whole brand. especially since her dad starred in 'scream' and 'scooby-doo' and 'five nights at freddys'. like seriously, this holiday was made for her

pairing: pato o' ward x lillard! reader

yn.lillard just posted to her story!

yn.lillard just posted

liked by patriciooward, matthewlillardofficial, indycar and others

yn.lillard its the most wonderful time of the year

see all comments

patriciooward my skeleton gingerbreads are cooler than your skeleton gingerbreads

-> yn.lillard say sike rn! we all know mine are better. i can call my dad and he can be the deciding vote

-> patriciooward no need, i ate them all already anyways :)

-> yn.lillard i love you you big dork

-> patriciooward i know. but do you love me as much as you love billy loomis?

-> yn.lillard see it sounds odd when you remember that to me, he's just uncle skeet.

davidmalukas you got the pumpkins i got the paint and the hocus pocus dvd. what do you say we all meet at yn's dads and have ourselves a pumpkin painting party?

-> yn.lillard you just want to drink beers with my dad and uncle skeet, don’t you?

-> matthewlillardofficial how does friday sound?

user they give such black cat orange cat energy

patriciooward added to his story!

yn.lillard

halloween horror nights

tagged: patriciooward, elbaoward

liked by patriciooward, yourbestfriend, skeetulrich and others

yn.lillard its a hot ghoul summer!!! #hhn24

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elbaoward please tell me you got a video of pato screaming when the clown on stilts came up behind him

-> yn.lillard of course i did, i'm the best girlfriend ever

-> patriciooward delete that

-> yn.lillard what are you going to do to make it worth my while? 😏

patriciooward repeat after me: pato you are the sweetest most loveable man on planet earth. god created men and then sent me as an apology

-> yn.lillard someone has a big ego (i love you too sweetheart!)

alexanderrossi so where is this video of pato

-> patriciooward GONE

-> yn.lillard ill send it to u when im done jumping his bones

-> matthewlillardofficial YN YMN LILLARD

user theres so much hot in this post i dont know where to look

Pato O'Ward talks victory at Milwaukee, summer break with his girlfriend and the first time he met future father-in-law Matthew Lillard

yn.lillard and patriciooward

tagged: patriciooward

yn.lillard hey google, play i miss you by blink 182

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yourbestfriend i realize there was a specific lyric you were trying to reference there but it is not coming across right bestie

-> yn.lillard ok let me be more specific *clears throat* HELLO THERE THE ANGEL OF MY NIGHTMARES THE SHADOW IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE MORGUE

patriciooward we can live like jack and sally if we want and we'll have halloween on christmas ❤️

-> yn.lillard and in the night we'll wish this never ends, we'll wish this never ends

user oh that boy is so whipped

skeetulrich kid why did i just get a text message from lover boy here asking if i knew your ring size?

-> yn.lillard YOU WHAT

-> patriciooward no reason!! totally not planning something!!

-> matthewlillardofficial ahem. do we need to have a talk?

-> patriciooward nope! all good here!

yn.lillard just posted to her story

[location tag: calgary, alberta]

MESSAGES BETWEEN YN AND HER FATHER

daddy

I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. And remember, I still have the Ghostface costume so if you ever need me to get rid of him, just give me a call.

yn

DAD! I promise you'll never have to do that.

daddy

Good. I'm looking forward to having him as my son in law.

[lfghughes]

Light a Fire

a/n: i’m going to be honest about this request, i loved writing it but i know 0 about f1 except from a few videos i see on tiktok so dont hate me

“What do you even know about F1?” Mat laughed and all that really did was irritate you. You could feel your cheeks start to burn, a good indication of your annoyance. Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything at all to him. But then he would have gotten irritated that you didn’t tell him you were seeing someone. “Oh I’m sorry, do all of your exes have extensive knowledge on hockey? Is that a requirement?”

His eyes widened slightly at your snippiness towards him and instead he held his hands up in surrender. “I don’t get why you’re getting so defensive over a joke.” Both of you had been friends for years and this was one of those rare moments that you would consider a fight. Usually Mat was the person you’d go to for anything and everything but right now he was making it really easy to not want to talk to him.

“Whatever Mat, anyways. Lando is flying in later today. I was going to invite you to get food and drinks with us later but don’t bother showing up if you’re going to be annoying.” That was a clear warning because last thing you wanted was for your dinner to be ruined by Mat saying something rude or being this weird version of himself. “I’ll be there. Got to make sure he’s cool.” He left it at that and you weren’t really in the mood to keep on talking so instead you gave him the details he would need for later.

Once at the restaurant you didn’t even think about the irritating events from earlier, not as you and Lando walked up to the table he had reserved. But when you caught sight of Mat you did feel some nerves in your stomach and silently willed him to be on his best behavior. “Hey, I’m Mat.” He held his hand out for a handshake as Lando returned it. “She’s told me a lot about you.” Which was true because Mat was in a lot of your stories but you couldn’t help but pick up on the slight tone of irritation in his voice.

Throughout the dinner there were slight bits of attitude here and there coming from both guys and honestly by the time the food came out you were ready to just be back home. This wasn’t going the way you wanted it to. “You’re still coming to my game tomorrow right?” Mat asked and you wanted to hit your head against your hand because how could you forget. It was a pretty important one for him and he had asked days back if you wanted tickets.

“Actually we already have plans for tomorrow.” Lando started and Mat let out a laugh that let you know he was pissed. “Could you maybe get one extra ticket? I’m sure we could adjust our plans.” You asked, hopeful at least that maybe just maybe Mat would be okay with this and not hold it over you. “It’s last minute and I already got tickets for my dad too. I can’t just give out tickets, you know that.” 

With those words being said, Mat pulled his wallet out, pulling out a $100 bill and putting it on the table. “I’m going to head out, sorry to be rude.” And he was exiting the building. What was his problem? “I’ll be right back.” You quickly said and followed him on out. “Mat, wait.” You called out after him as you stepped outside in the cool air. Mat paused, turning around slowly and you could tell he was definitely upset.

“I’m sorry I forgot about the game. You know I wanted to be there.” But you also felt bad canceling on Lando when he had flown out here. “You just don’t get it, do you? You don’t see it and I don’t know how. Call me when you figure it out.” He went to turn around and your head was spinning slightly from his words, you had no clue what he was talking about. “Mathew what are you talking about?” You noticed the pause from using his full first name and he turned back around again. “I’m in love with you and you don’t even see it.”

[therearenonutsforsomeendermen]

Its currently 5:30 am as im writing this cuz I just woke up from a dream that actually made me mad

Im sitting on the steps in my house scrolling through youtube when I see a spiderverse shortfilm that was "an early script rendition that was scrapped" that they decided to animate for some reason. I Iater find that theres also one released to netflix that had an alternative beginning. I'll talk about the bits that I remember. We start with an interview with a news reporter who is interviewing miles as spiderman where after the interview it reveals that she knows miles personally and knows his secret. He then rides a motorcycle home? (Don't ask cuz I dont have an answer) He goes to the roof to find his dad gardening. (cuz why not) they talk for a bit and it seems like he want to tell him that he's spiderman, but before he can, the spot shows up and is angry at miles, as per usual, and starts tryna pick a fight with him when Miguel appears out of nowhere and decides that he wants to kill all 3 of them and he'll do it in anyway possible. He start by webbing jeff and the spot and throwing them in the air so he can focus on destroying miles. (or something) The spot, who could easily catch himself and land safely, decides that he can't do it, so Jeff has to. How could he do this, you may be asking yourself? Well, the spot, now free from the webs starts to TAKE HIS SUIT OFF REVEALING THAT HE WAS HUMAN UNDERNEATH THE WHOLE TIME. It was at this point that my dream self paused it and tossed the phone across the room, which is what I do when I'm mad at something I see on it. My sister then looks over at me and asks why I did it and I just look at her and go "I CAN'T TELL YOU >:(" there was a good ten minutes left in the video that I didn't watch so I don't know what happened after that

So lets talk about the fact that the spot wearing a SUIT COMPLETELY DISREGARDS HIS WHOLE STRUGGLE IN THE ACTUAL MOVIE. His struggle was that his whole life was destroyed because his face was gone and there was no way to get it back, and he resented spiderman for it. I know that in the comics, he had a suit and that he can make himself look normal when need be, (which is probably where my dream got the idea from) but the same does not go for the movie. His whole identity as the spot revolves around how everyone and everything he had was taken from him because of him no longer being human, so to make him human again makes it all pointless. So needless to say I was pissed off and dream me was glad that it was a scrapped version of the script.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[artdcnaldson]

just saw that ask abt dad patrick………. much to think about. i agree that he prob would never want to be a dad. but….. let me share to you my secret brain au……. that i think about on the clock when im bored as fuck 😝

you… art… patrick… (sorry tashi i love u i swear….) mayb this is the same au where ur all best friends in school etc etc. maybe not. but ANYWAYS. the throuple…….. you and art end up having a baby. patrick’s perfectly fine just being uncle pat. or. like the weird guy who hangs around all the time. same thing. you like, say that it can be like. art is dad patrick’s papa or SOMETHING yk… like you love them both patrick’s gonna be around forever anyways why not just. have them both be referred to as dad. patrick isn’t super fond of the idea so you drop it whatever. ANYWAYS flash forward to a few weeks after the baby is born. patrick has been so like 😐 about the baby. kinda jealous annoyed etc cause he’s 12. it’s fine. whatever.

anyways sorry let me fucking GET TO THE POINT!!!!!!!!!!! you and art wake up one night kinda ?!? cause you hear talking on the baby monitor. and then you realize patrick’s not in the bed. you dont even remember hearing the baby cry or him getting up or anything cuz ur both. new parents. and patrick’s surprisingly helped a lot but. it’s not the same. WHATEVER i keep getting off track. u guys hear patrick cooing at your new little baby girl telling her that he loves her she’s lucky she has such good parents etc… turning on the video part u see him rocking her in the little chair you guys have in there. he’s so fascinated by her. he still doesn’t really… like the idea of being a dad or have any interest in it or whatevs but. a baby made by his two favorite people. he has to cry

sorry this was a fucking ESSAY!!!!!!!!! take me out back and shoot me i can’t do this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!

This had to cook in my inbox, had to simmer. I’m trying to go back and answer asks that have been sitting in my inbox that I meant to get back to <3 sorry for the delay babe <3

Sigh <333 uncle pat being the best pseudo-parent to you and art’s baby… after an adjustment period. Because for like that first month you and Art don’t have time for him, it’s like he’s being kicked to the side, discarded for the second time in his life. And he’s fucking sensitive about it, you know?

You and Art made him quit smoking when you got pregnant, which he understood. He hated it, but he understood, and he wasn’t going to vape like a fucking loser, so he’s irritable with it. A sixteen year habit culled painfully at the root. He hears the baby screaming and crying and just wants to go outside and smoke, wants to run away from it all.

It’s three in the morning when the baby crying wakes him up. He squints, reads his alarm clock, and groans. He glances over at you and Patrick, completely knocked out by exhaustion. He doesn’t want to bother you, doesn’t want you to have to wake up and go through the motions again. So he gets up and slips into the baby’s room.

She eases into his arms, quickly growing soothed in a comforting pair of arms, and he hushes her softly. He hasn’t been alone with her, not much. Just a sort of double-down instinct after you had suggested he get called dad by her too. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but it just makes him feel like a fraud. He spends a lot of time with you and Art feeling like he’s one wrong move from being out on his own. He didn’t want a kid relying on him when he knew he’d eventually fuck everything up.

“You just had a bad dream, huh?” Patrick coos softly. He kisses the baby’s soft, bald-ish head, takes a deep breath. He didn’t really get why you and Art were always smelling her hair, but he understands then. “Your dad used to have bad dreams too. Really bad dreams, but I was always there. I’ll be there for you too, alright? For anything you’ll ever need. No matter what.”

He settles into the plush rocking chair in the corner, holds her against his chest and rubs her back. Her eyes close, she nuzzles against him. She’s so beautiful. Usually, all babies look the same to him, but he can see you so clearly in her mouth, her eyes. And Art in her ears and nose. “You’re really lucky,” he says softly. He presses a kiss to her forehead. “You have such good parents, they’re really exhausted right now because you never sleep, but they’re doing so good, huh?”

She falls asleep in his arms, and he decides he’s never going to leave the chair. He kisses the top of her head and lets his lips twitch in a achy sort of smile. “We love you, kid.”

In the morning, once he’s placed her back in the crib and returns to bed, you and Art hold him a little closer.

[foxoftheninetails]

I was just about to go to bed. I was thinking about all the time ive spent the last few weeks with my friends. We talk, we play games together, we stream, we watch videos and trade stupid memes. We support each other. Then I had a realization.

A bit of backstory first, for anyone who doesn't know (how could you not? I never shut up). Growing up, my dad worked all the time to provide for us, so I spent all of my time with my mother and sister. Over time, this developed in to "I dont know how to interact with guys." I mean, I do. Now. As long as its not the hypertoxic, hyper masculine nightmare that I have abhored since I was young.

I have always hung out with girls. In school, 4 of my closest friends were girls. I was always surrounded by a group of girls. I'd rather sit with them. Yeah, I know they can be toxic and vicious and gross too. But for whatever reason, I can talk to girls in a way that I can't talk to guys. (There are always exceptions to the rule, and yes, a couple of my dearest friends are guys, and we can vibe)

Anyway, on to my realization. A large portion of my friends are trans. There is an inside joke about this that is way too funny, and I still giggle when I think about it. Some of my friends I knew before they figured out that they are trans, some I met just after, and some have been on HRT for a time.

I have surrounded myself with people who have every right to be angry, to hurt others, to hate the world. Not for who they are, but for how they are perceived and treated. What the US government is doing might be the most disgusting thing I have heard about since the 1930s. My friends have been spat on, they cant go outside as themselves, some have been verbally and physically attacked. And every other trans person has to live woth that thought every day. They have every right in the world to want to destroy people like me. Cis, White, American males who have grown up knowing little to no hardship (I do whine a lot, but that's for the other bits of my blog) and being happy and comfortabla and feeling at home in my skin.

But they don't. They aren't mean. They are warm, and genuine, and wholesome, and caring, and doting, and loving. Every single trans person I know, without fail, is a lovely human being.

From personal experience alone, they have gone out of their way to make me feel included, and important. They help me when I need help, they spend time with me, they do things that I'm interested in and talk about my topics of interest. They support me in new and ever expanding ways. And they're happy to do it. Its not false, they aren't trying to get something out of it. In all reality, I dont have a lot to offer and I'm pretty clear about that when I start talking to new people.

They are just kind. I can't say for sure why that is, but I strongly suspect they get up every day and see the hatred aimed at them and consciously decide to be a positive force in the universe, even when they're being beaten down.

I am awe inspired. I want to be a better person and a better friend because my friends are so good to me. And frankly, I dont deserve them.

I was a terrible fucking person just 5 or 6 years ago. All the usual tropes apply, I'm not going into it here. If you care enough ask in the comments.

But for all of that, and yes, I have talked with each of them about what a PoS I was, they still show me love and kindness. I dont deserve friends like that, but I will forever try to earn the love and respect they have shown me.

Please, if you can, please hug your trans friend for me today. Because none of mine are close enough, and the only thing I want in this world is to show them that they are genuinely loved. And who doesn't like hugs?

Growing up, I had friends. Who doesn't? Some were good, some were better, some were bad. But what I never had was a family. And that's exactly what this is. I hate calling it a found family, because I didn't "find" them, they saved me. We are together, as a cooperative group for the betterment of each other and the world around us.

I will endeavor every single day to make the world around me better, and try to show the genuine compassion and caring my family has shown me, to others.

That joke? My handle across every single platform is Fox, in one manner or another. I have adopted it, and for all intents and purposes it is me. Foxes like eggs. Its a small thing, but when my friend said it to me, I thought my heart exploded. I was allowed to be included. I am included, I'm not secondary or tertiary, I'm not on the sidelines. I may forever be the wallflower of the family, the one who is willing to walk behind everyone else because the sidewalk isnt wide enough, but I will forever sleep better because you let me be part of the family.

I have unconsciously surrounded myself with people who will show me patience and kindness, compassion and love. I might not have gotten enough of that growing up and that's why I searched it out. But I have found the place I belong, and it's only fair that everyone else does too.

I say this all the time, but I hope its not too old. Thank you for letting me be a part of your lives, letting yourself be shared with me. I love you so dearly (this goes for all of my family and friends, but i bet you already knew that) that my heart feels it might burst.

And seriously, go hug your trans friend today. Just pick one, give them a warm, attentive hug, and when you pull apart, tell them you love them. Dont ever stop telling your friends you love them.

I generally dont farm interactions, it feels cheap. I mean this with all sincerity: tell me about your trans friend in the comments. I dont care if its one sentence or one thousand, I want to hear something you love about them.

So for once, new rule: do interact, do comment and repost. I want to hear about them.

💚

[mangoisms]

Im just soso obsessed with figuring out tim as a character rn i cant stop thinking abt it (ive always been a jason todd girlie but i read ur fic and that angsty twink latched onto me and refuses to let go)

I think u have a pretty good hold of him, especially bc in present comics writers are so intent on elevating tim in spite of other characters (barbara and her hacking skills for example, or any comparison made btw him and any robin, really) that most portrayals of him are so boring it makes me cry, while you on the other hand took the approach to write about his flaws (which are MANY) while still making him charming and handsome (he is so... !!!!)

To me flaws are also tied to not only the good traits of characters but also their core beliefs and ideals so what can you say abt tim?

I know he can be stupidly arrogant and patronizing at times, that he's always idolized the position and legacy of robin and constantly fights his insecurities with this role and his abilities for the job, that he can also be incredibly selfish or outright mean when it comes to being mindful of other people's feelings for the sake of logic (re when he didnt tell tam abt his dad not being actually dead), but at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me

(Im in the midst of reading his solo robin run but ive read red robin so give me a little room for this, you are definitely free to talk abt more of his comics bc i havent read everything yet and everything im saying should be taken with a grain of salt, video essays and the issues ive read can only get me so far)

He could have gained an inherent desire to help people after all his time as robin and the so fucked up shit that happened to him, maybe as a ways to channel his grief (much like dick and jason and bruce, im thinking abt identity crisis here) after he isnt "needed" as robin anymore, but at the same time that would be so tragic because he was supposed to be different to them, he was supposed to remark the importance of robin's role in helping be "batman's light" and not becoming like batman himself, its just so interesting and im still trying to really understand the extent of his character so id just. Love to get ur thoughts and musings on what fuels tim as a character and how you see him

(I dont have this problem with jason bc his moral conflict is very crystal clear to me and also so freaking juicy, his actions are logical and so understable, granted he also hasnt had as much screentime as tim and i can see when writers just Dont Get Him, misunderstanding the original intent of his character coming back etc etc etc, tim has grown and evolved throughout his tim as robin so this might factor in too)

Anyways sorry for the long post i hope this is alright !!! Loved ur fic to bits and ur writing is a blessing mwah

okay HI i am not exaggerating when i say that i have been thinking about this ask since you sent it HAHA tim is just a parasite in my brain he won't let go...

that's the funny thing about portrayals of him today... i feel like people want to elevate him as a potential batman or a character closest to bruce in terms of intelligence and detective skills, which isn't true at all, i think (because, exactly, you have babs Right There), and of course, narratively, this is all a good thing (this post covers it well, i think). it's in the same vein of people making tim out as the most dangerous person in the batfam, should he ever chose to go down the path, which i can partially blame red robin (2009) for with this panel....

(and i don't think that's true either. he has the potential to be dangerous just like any of the others but i think the ones to really be scared of are babs, dick, and cass but ANYWAY)

in general, red robin 2009 was a bumpy time for tim with bruce's death and his spiraling, but it seemed to really inform what they were going to do with his character. no more time for the civilian life, committing himself much more thoroughly to The Mission like bruce. which is, if you ask me, a negative progression of his character, which isn't bad, exactly, in terms of storytelling, but it feels like all we get are the 'good parts' now -- the intelligence, the status, the resources, and then we don't get to grapple with the consequences.

there were some in red robin 2009 but it was more tim accepting them and making no move to change his actions, which is fine, but now... idk. but i also don't touch modern comics with a ten foot pole so this could just be. Wrong. but that seems like what's going on. so i feel like that's where people get the idea of him being... idk not the Perfect Robin exactly but. you know?

no no yeah i totally agree!

re (because i want to break this down i'm telling you i have Been Thinking About This): at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me

exactly this. he did say that and i've reblogged this at some point i think, showing a panel from robin 1993 where he mentioned he wouldn't be a vigilante forever, then paralleled with that panel i put in earlier from red robin 2009. (there's this post, which touches on another thing about tim trying to set himself apart as having friends and thus not being bruce LOL which is another topic entirely)

i think that was what red robin 2009 was - a negative progression of his character, one that, again, we never really grapple with, especially as dc shoves robin back onto him now.

his motivations are an interesting thing to me, because he did start out coincidentally, saying batman needed a robin but he didn't assume he'd be that robin, it just kind of happened because he was there (well much more went into it but you know?).

but aside from that, i've never gotten the impression tim really does it for people. i mean batman in general has been about the detective work but i think towards the 80s/90s/00s there was a shift to focusing on the people but tim has never really struck me as a hero of the people. he's more about fighting crime than he is about helping people. i think it is partially informed by the genre - re detective comics, etc - but still. he's not like, say, peter parker/spider-man, who is a hero of the people, of the working class. the people are inherent to him as spider-man. tim does it out of duty and responsibility i think, being the light to batman's dark, of course, but he's also very much a teenage boy about being robin - the cool factor, pointedly mentioning he wants to let off steam by knocking around 'criminals' that kind of thing

which doesn't mean he's unfit for it but he operates in an odd grey area as far as his motivation goes, which i think is where we get red robin? he was defined by being robin and he did his job, then he got the boot. so it is very much an identity crisis but we're seeing that negative change as he changes for the worse, for something darker. i mean, yes, red robin 2009 was again bumpy because he was at a very low point in his life but in general, that run was dark for him.

editorial wise, we'd never get to see what they made of it because they did the reboot and started new-52 a few years after. but whether he'd continue being red robin/going down this path, or if he'd shed the identity and go for something lighter... it's hard to say.

i kind of like the thought that he'd change his identity and try to take a lighter approach, try to pull himself from bruce's influence, though with how it's all set it up, it seems fated that he'd end up there. there was red robin 2009, but then there was his sixteenth birthday incident (which sounds bad here and i'd read this before reading it myself but god when i read it it pissed me off so bad... really what turned me off bruce as a 'good' father figure, i can't lie). he ultimately ends up going back and becoming robin and this is the turning point for him where he agrees to enter this mindset that bruce wants him to be in. (this post talks mainly about timsteph but it is also a point to the end about the shift in his character and how that affected his relationships as well)

i mean i know red robin 2009 is marked by the grief of bruce's 'death' and a bunch of other Very Bad Shit but even when we got past that and he had his little 'Let me let in the people who love me because i am Not batman' he then proceeded to go a little surveillance crazy and make a hit list (something like that, it's been a while..) but. yeah.

ultimately, at the core of his character, i think he is good and compassionate and kind, so, even aside from all that (like the birthday incident), i think he would've made his way there eventually. it could maybe be why we see him returning to robin, if we wanted to try and pretend dc making him be robin is a completely normal and logical decision that they actually thought through. like a way to return to the bases and feel it out from there. though i still think they could've just. idk. given him a BREAK from vigilantism to figure it out. i'm a big proponent of civilians and their place amongst vigilantes and superheroes and i feel like tim's due a break, which is why i put that stuff in my fics. i do want to see him step back and try to figure out his life, because at one point, though robin 1993 was arguably defined by the balance between robin and tim drake and had plenty of civilian friends to keep things interesting, we don't see much as far as what he wants to do. which i suppose could be part of his relatability factor that tim drake, the character, was conceived with

but idk at this point they have to give us something 😭 anyway. this got VERY long i am very sorry.. i don't mind long asks either but i might've overshot my response... alas. i also hope i more or less answered your question??? if not feel free to slide back in here and talk to me! i rambled a bit here and it's like. 3am rn i'm scheduling this to post because i wanted to get it all written Now and. yeah.

thank you SO much very happy to hear you're enjoying everything <333 hope you continue to enjoy :**

[i-go-by-whatever]

uh this is gonna be me processing how i feel one year after the news of technoblades passing. skip this one.

it was 10am on july 1st when i learned of the news. the first thing i saw when i woke up was dreams tweet and i just saw 'fuck cancer' and my heart fucking dropped. in that split second i was thinking 'oh no, did it get bad again?' i didnt think that he died. i had hope. when i watched the video and listened to his last words, my heart was shattered and i simply did not know what to do but cry for hours.

i had just got out of a week long 'down' state, when i had felt the worst ive been in years and i had one good day before i heard the news. i fell back into the sadness and it sucked. it sucked so bad.

every few hours id go on twitter and see more people react to it throughout the day. i watched as his family, friends, and community mourned him. every passing tweet made me cry. technoblade meant so much to a lot of people. he meant a lot to me too. and his death hit me so hard i was blindsided by the pain.

its an insane feeling to grieve over someone i dont know or never met, whom i only started watching for less than two years. it makes me feel insane to cry about it when none of my friends knew him. it feels insane how there is no tangible way techno had changed my life because i built no friendships through him, or made art of him, or was even an active member of the community. all i got was/is my love for him and his friends that he introduced me to. idk how to explain it, but it felt like i dont deserve to grieve him.

but obviously his community has been so loving through and through. we held each other, even though i personally spoke to nobody about it (given the fact that i dont talk to anyone or tweet on twitter and nobody irl knew him). theres still a weird feeling of loneliness and isolation despite the collective grief.

the toughest thing to watch was his father grieving him together with us. i had lost my father when i was a child and i watched his mother mourn him. it never made sense then that a parent should watch their kid die. it still doesnt make sense now. in some egotistical, nonsensical way, it felt like the universe did a trade with me.

i have never had any direct communication with technodad, but i think he had helped a lot in my processing my pre-existing grief over my father, together with our grief over technoblade, and everyone else i have lost in between. i will forever appreciate him for that.

sidenote: the dream technodad had about being at a gathering and he couldn't find technoblade. but turns out he was in the other room playing a game. and in the dream he was like 'oh thank god he's not dead' but when he woke up reality hit him like a truck?

yeah well, that was how it felt when i found out my dad passed away all those years ago. i woke up to a house filled with relatives and my mother pulled me aside to tell me my dad had passed away. he was the only person who wasnt there.

the grief i have for technoblade is so deeply intertwined with my grief for my father and i dont think i can ever succinctly explain it to anyone in my life. because they happened 16 years apart and had no connection whatsoever except for me whos in the middle. slowly processing my own grief.

(midwriting this i suddenly realized that after my birthday this year i will be older than technoblade could ever be and im sobbing silently in my room so my roommates cant hear me)

it sucks being someone who doesnt cry in front of people and struggle to ask for help or even a hug. the loneliness is palpable. thats why i wrote everything here.

i love you, technoblade.

i love you, dad.

im sorry to lump the two of you together like this. im a little insane, i know. i hope its okay.

[starillusion13]

Ok so I am bored to death soo questionnaire ahead:

Birth month

Hav u dated

If u could spend one day with an idol who?

Can u sing

Fav k-pop songs

Fav non k-pop song

Is yuta sexy?

Fav food

Fav drink

Am I annoying

What if I am a 40 y/o uncle?

Kiss marry kill (atz/nct) also me

Ideal date

Fav movie,series,anime,comic

Do u believe in aliens

Why are cows white

Would u date if taeyong was a fat cow

Are u cow?

Assign me an animal/flower/season/thing/colour

Are u checking facts

Ok that's it. If u don't wanna ans anz Q ignore it~

-🦀

wait some questions are- oh gosh am cracking up!

June (yes I am same month as Haechan Taeil Yeosang)

No (I receive a lot of proposals but no. never felt like to date coz I cant trust anyone)

Taeyong (I am really so into him like i just want to meet him one day just to say Thank you for appearing in my life suddenly back in those days. he has changed me a lot and taught me so many positive things.) Also, Hongjoong, Yunho & Mark

Yes I can sing. (I was in singing and dancing club back in school coz I can do both)

Right now I would say Box-nct dream but (been through, thunder, playboy, heart attack - exo, sun&moon, no longer, lipstick, sit down, lips, -nct 127, inception, arriba, fever -ateez, teddy bear, never goodbye, its yours, rainbow -nct dream, after midnight, poppin love, domino, all for love, no one but you -wayv, wish u were here, line em up - superm, Im unhappy, new world - aespa, sunrise, summer rain -gfriend)

else from kpop (dowtown - allie x, I'm not her - clara mae, eastside - halsey, ciao adios - anne marie, all we know - chainsmokers, i like you so much you'll know it, know me - gemini, on the loose- niall horan, arcade- duncane laurance, 6 feet under -bellie elish, fetish - selena gomez...I listen to non kpop more so if I start with all then it'll be about a post only for songs) I listen to songs almost whole day so theres a big list...sorry but I literally love when someone asks me about my fav songs.

Of course Yuta is sexy...comeon that video of him stretching and his butterfly tattoo peeking beneath his shirt is still imprinted in my head. His whole appearance is what some fans their idol to be.

Food,I'm not a foody person. I often skip meals. but I love cakes and ice cream a lot.

Smoothie (I try those special ones from every cafe, I love it)

of course not. Never, if you ask me 100 asks a day, I will still answer u. I am always online coz my studies r online related so just I take time to answer but u cant be annoying. I love to interact with u so much. you are the sweetest anon. I am glad to be your friend.

It's okay. (If the uncle is feeling uncomfortable to share his age with younger people then fine but if he is sexualizing or making dirty jokes with a younger person who is half of his age then he should feel shame on himself like how are you treating someone of your child's age also I have followers who are almost 40 and I have fun with them in some topics even in real, I engage in a convo with elder people too fast)

sorry love but kill - you coz no one comes before ateez n nct

kiss - NCT (this is literally like choosing btw mom n dad)

marry - ateez (age diff is perfect to marry lol)

to be honest if I could date someone, i would have dated Yunho (caring, soft, a perfect body proportion (im not pervert i swear), passionate about his belongings, a bit dominative but not like those in ffs, romantic, smart, can cook, sassy, cute, gentleman, hot) Taeyong and Hongjoong should not see this

Fav movie - interstellar( i have watched it 7 times not kidding, I love space a lot), I literally watch all youtube videos on space and its history, series- theres few in my language which r too good but I dont think they have translation ver. , if u say drama then (meteor garden, put your head on my shoulder, love o2o, vincenzo, extraordinary you, doom at my service) Im not a anime/comic person but my bestie is.

As I love space so certainly I believe in aliens and some unnatural events happened on earth.

Cows white...but I see cows of different colors, but those white ones who are due to pigmentation reason dw they get pretty privileges lol

Why will I date a cow? oh gosh no. Honestly, he is too thin to be a cow and cow doesnt have those sharp jawlines. he could have been a knife, I would have used it regularly.

If I were a cow then only it would have been possible to date a cow Taeyong.

Animal - fox (dk but I felt like it)

flower - sunflower

season - summer

thing - ribbon

color - red

assign things r very random but I trust my instincts and they told me these all

checking facts (?) check the facts go check that check the stats go check that.

WOW LOOKS LIKE MY WIKIPEDIA

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hello! I only recently found your blog and after much back and forth with myself decided to send this ask.

Trigger Warning for CSA and ED.

I suppose I'm looking for advice, a third party's thoughts? Also to get it off my chest.

I apologize in advance if this it too much for anyone reading, I know i still struggle to make heads or tails with it.

i had this epiphany a few years back, just before covid hit and as I had just moved into my own place for the first time. Ever since I was a little girl I've always had these unexplainable to my older self weird thoughts about sex.

During this epiphany I realized that my entire life, as long as I can remember-since approximately 5 to 6 years old - I have had rape fantasies. With myself as the victim. Very explicit, very violent just.. all around bad.

It had always troubled me but it had never been registered as something that needed more thought. It was more of a "Huh, you sure were quirky growing up!".

So during this epiphany it clicked to me: how could a child, from a good family, not suffocated, neither sheltered but raised by good folk, even KNOW not only what sex is, but also what rape is? Those thoughts dont come about naturally while watching Pokémon or Catdog.

So I started looking back. I really tried to make myself think.

I made myself picture little be getting abused. At first i suspected the men in my family. Uncle, grandad, even my dad.

It didn't click. Except when i thought about my grandad. At noons we used to sleep together. He'd read to me and it'd be our down time.

But it wasn't HIM who was triggering me ( God knows I'd die for that man i love him so much). It was his bedroom and his bed.

I realized suddenly that it wasn't a man that made me feel so.. uncomfortable? Like.. vomiting? Like.. these thoughts gave me this profound sense of doom and melancholy? I can't explain it.

But the person who came up was my cousin. She was only a few years older than me and she'd also live with our grandparents (their houses were in the same building).

I realized that when i was around 5 she would make me watch porn. The first time i ever watched it it was a traumatizing thing i realize. Not only did my body not know how to respond at this young age (it did get a reaction out of me which makes me feel fifty different types of sick) but I was shocked by the image of this man's penis. That night when i slept with my mum I couldn't sleep because i feared I'd see his thing in my dream and that my mum would know I'd done something bad! I'd blurt it out while dreaming! It was horrible.

A few days next mum took us shopping. While alone in the dressing room I had a sort of... Idk.. attack? Meltdown? She had given me to try on this faux leather skirt and I just got so enraged by it! I started angry crying and iirc hitting myself (?) Only now do i realise it was because the woman in the video was wearing a leather skirt.

My cousin also had this "massage wand" which for the life of me idk if it was a legit vibrator of my aunt or indeed a massage tool. But i remember her laying on her bed with her legs open (still dressed) and the thing between her legs. (When i told my bestie about this she tried to make me understand that she was indeed masturbating but God even writing this now it feels fake. It feels like an overreaction!)

My cousin would also make us play Husband and Wife. She'd be the husband first. She'd get on top of me and just stroke my arms, or act like she was kissing me. Sometimes she'd make me put a pillow on top of me and hug it like it was my husband.

But the worst was when she'd make ME be the husband. Id have to..idk how to describe it. I'd have to be active? I'd have to move my hips and talk and just be on top. We were clothed we weren't doing anything. But by God I just feel it in my bones This is why I have body dysmorphia. This is why my disordered eating started. This is why now I have trouble feeling feminine and just the thought of a single masculine characteristic on me sends me spiraling. I hate the idea of having anything masculine on me or being described as such! It makes me feel like back then.

Even now typing all this out.. I can't believe it. What if I'm misremembering? What if I'm the one creating false memories? What if I'm doing it for attention? Whose attention you'll ask since only now did i find the courage to tell SOLELY my best friend. Well, I'll say... I don't know.

I cannot connect the image of my childhood, happy as it was, because it was! I was loved and still am by my parents. My entire extended family are learned, progressive, loving people. I always felt like i got the lottery with my folks. I cannot make this make sense while adding my realizations into the mix.

I like my cousin! I even love her! We are close (considering we have our own thing happening in life). She is my family, my blood! She feels the same.

I dont know what to feel.

And I've also heard that children who are perpetrators of CSA (not only when they're so young do they Not mean any harm bc they're kids too) but also they had to learn all that from somewhere, from someone!

So.. did she also suffer? Do I need to start having suspicions about others hurting her?

Does she need help? Does she even remember?

I cannot tell anyone. It would ruin our family and my parents would be devastated. My mum she.... She'd legit lose her mind to learn that someone had hurt me this way!

Do you guys have any thoughts? Am i crazy? Am i making it up? Am i creating the memories? God knows it affects me in all aspects of life so.. there has to be Something there, right?!

Feel free to post this as a post for your followers to answer too. Im okay with it.

Just typing it out was cathartic.

I'm sorry to anyone burdened with reading something so light-hearted. And thank you for taking the time to read and answer.

I hope whoever it is on the other side reading has a good day. And Thank You.

-Bess

p.s.

Because I get very illogically anxious very often, if by any chance my eyes are deceiving me, or tumblr crashes or whatever and by accident this post doesn't get submitted Anonymously (as I intend it to) could you please refrain from posting it? I would really thank you for that!

Okay bye now! And Thank You again for the help 💙

Hi Bess,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. Please know that you're not alone.

It's incredibly difficult to navigate some potential early childhood trauma. It sounds like you probably aren't making this up because you seem to be able to identify what doesn't click or make sense. Often, trauma tends to have strong emotional or visceral responses, like you described, nausea and discomfort. These feelings suggest that the memories could be authentic.

it's hard to accept that you've been through trauma because of its implications, and that's understandable, but it's also important for your healing to work through the process of grief at your own pace. Also please know that just because you may have otherwise had a good childhood with a strong support network around you, doesn't mean that you couldn't have been traumatized or that your trauma isn't valid.

You are right that COCSA perpetrators tend to be CSA survivors themselves, because their behavior is, in some way, learned from elsewhere. But please remember that this does not excuse perpetuating that abusive behavior. Regardless of what may have happened to your perpetrator, it doesn't change the fact that they hurt you.

It's your story so it's up to you who to tell or not tell, but just know that other peoples emotions are not your responsibility, so if someone is devastated to hear what happened, that is not your fault. Additionally, it's worth considering that you are not to blame for telling your truth, rather your cousin is to blame for their actions that you are merely conveying.

Ultimately, it's important to make sure that you can get any help you need during this time, in terms of exploring trauma and maintaining your mental health. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you process your traumas, the feelings and questions surrounding them, and develop ways to cope and move forward with these memories.

Please remember that you are not crazy, and know that we believe you. If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[micahweissberg]

she was four. micah clicks his tongue, shaking his head at the idea of such a young, innocent little girl becoming acquainted with a profound kind of pain before she could even learn how to count to 100. the morbid, pessimistic part of micah wonders what category of fucked up she'll later turn out to be, but rory sounds like a good dad. decent, at the very least, where he sounds like he's trying his best, which is the most anyone could do in his situation, really. annie will be fine. of course, there's no tangible way to measure that in the couple of minutes he's been speaking to rory, but micah considers himself a good judge of character (he kind of has to be, for the observational humor he employs in his stand-up gigs) and nothing about the guy gives off 'deadbeat' vibes. which, in his experience, is pretty much the benchmark.

"i'm so sorry," he says again with hand-me-down guilt from the person who'd caused so much pain in rory and annie's lives. "tell me the driver didn't get away with it." a small consolation against a grand tragedy, but a silver lining nonetheless. "well, she's got you. i'm sure she'll be okay." he nods, something of a reassurance that micah isn't sure does much for rory, but it's the least he could do for bringing it up. "are you?" his brain can barely catch up with his mouth. he's not sure why he keeps pushing where he could lay the topic to rest, but something about the father-daughter's situation fascinates micah in the same way their story might hold his attention if it were a tiktok video. single father from scotland starting over in a small town in illinois after the death of my partner and the mother of my child. follow for more! "sorry. you dont have to.... answer that. i mean. or be okay." he shrugs, not wanting to mount pressure on a stranger for any of those things. it's a big ask, he's sure.

"ha-ha!" the sound might as well have produced a speech bubble over his head, surprised at how rory manages to spin his earlier comment about his work in a way that he'd genuinely found funny in a not-really-trying sort of way. "i don't know, i have a pretty exclusive audience..." he says with a sarcastic smirk. "maybe i can bring out my best single parent material for you. i've got enough of those to last at least two different shows. but carpentry? i might need to work on that."

internally, he winces at how his hands comment had come out. he thinks maybe he's trying too hard to relate to the guy; they couldn't be more different, after all. once again, he takes it too far, but he needs to save face, therefore, "uh-huh. i mean, jesus was a carpenter, and look at him." okay, maybe he's not exactly doing much saving. "i mean, uh-" he clears his throat, "ignore that. i'm jewish, i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about, heh." he looks away, back towards the pastry table, as he scratches the side of his neck. he considers getting more biscuits to stuff his mouth and gag himself with. he takes rory telling him about the time he built a stage for annie as an opportunity to compose himself. "oh, well, it's not as bad as people make it sound, half the time, you don't really see anyone 'cause of how bright the lights can get. which can be a problem, too, 'cause then it just feels like you're talking to nobody and then you're filled with this overwhelming sense of, like, pathetic-ness that you're trying to do this for a living and you look like a complete buffoon. but i think everyone should try it, at least once. humiliating yourself on stage, i mean. it's good for the ego."

Rory’s gaze follows Micah’s when it settles on Annie — she’s currently giggling over something Caitlyn is saying to her, while another young girl dressed like a butterfly sitting to her left is also trying to get her attention — and he feels his heart squeeze uncomfortably at not only the truth of Micah’s statement, but the sheer sympathy in his voice. It’s not often people think immediately of Annie, when expressing their condolences for the loss of Eliza. But he’s not wrong — the hardest part about losing Eliza’s always been the fact that Annie lost a mother. That Annie lost anyone at all, really. He lives in a constant state of fear at the thought that someday she might lose him, too, before she’s ready to. “She was four,” he replies quietly, gaze still fixed on his daughter. “It was — hard,” he admits. “I’d like nothing more than to protect her from that sort of grief forever, but it’s incredibly difficult to do so when she holds so much love in her heart,” he smiles ruefully as he turns his gaze back to meet Micah’s. Annie hasn’t asked about Eliza much, since her death. She’s been to therapy — Rory has done everything in his power to find her proper counseling and outlets to deal with the grief of losing her mother. But he’s begun to suspect she doesn’t ask much about Eliza because she might believe it hurts Rory too much to talk about her, and not the other way around.

He doesn’t say any of this out loud, of course. Probably not the best idea to discuss such things with someone who is essentially a stranger — even if the weight of said stranger’s gaze serves to intrigue Rory. Instead, he focuses once more on Micah’s words about his work, and he feels his lips twitch upward as he talks less about being a lawyer and more about being what Rory can only assume is a comedian. “That makes more sense,” he tells Micah, about as honest as ever. “The comedy thing, I mean. Which is meant as a compliment,” he adds quickly, to reassure the other that the less interesting occupation of the two he’d mentioned is, in fact, lawyer to him. “Does that mean you don’t do a lot of shows for single dads from Scotland?” he raises an eyebrow at Micah’s description of his audiences. “Will I have to enroll in the university to get a chance to see you on stage? Or perhaps I should start spending more time online,” he muses. 

Rory snorts a little, amused at the idea that he never ran out of work. A valid assumption, he thinks. “And yet I still chose to go into contracting after the fact,” he says. “Never let it be said I made sensible choices throughout my life.” Micah continues to speak, something about him being good with his hands, and Rory can’t help but glance down at them as he talks. They’re rough and calloused, nothing out of the ordinary for what he does on a daily basis, but he doesn’t think that’s the first thing someone would notice about him. The other man says he has a vibe about him, something Rory can’t exactly comprehend, but he can’t help but meet his gaze again with a thoroughly entertained expression. “Thanks?” He tries, not knowing exactly what else to say about the comment. He’s not even sure it’s the appropriate response, if he’s being completely honest. “Though I don’t do what I do now to be useful, yeah? I do it ‘cause I love to do it,” he shrugs. “If you can say the same about standing up on stage and bearing your soul while being funny, why’s that not just as valid? And impressive,” he tacks on. “I don’t think I��ve ever set foot on a stage.” A beat. “Except for when I built one, for Annie’s nursery school show,” he reminds himself out loud. “But that doesn’t count, I don’t think.”

[saintqueer]

hello jordan. i hope you're doing well. it's been a while that i have sent you an anon ask. i used to be here a lot of times in 2021 but used to talk to you about bbg. i was fairly new and always had tooo many questions about bbg and you seemed be very very hopeful back in aug 2021 or around that time and it was good to talk to you. then shit went down with constant bbg push and ever since then till now i am quite confused about what the fuck is happening with Louis and his stunts. i am quite tired and i did notice that you are too. you aren't as active as you used to be. i hope everything is fine and you are happy and healthy.

i dont dig into these things these days but i saw the dm discourse and all this time even after everything that happened with bbg in 2021 up till now, i was hopeful it's leading towards the end but this is so disturbing and has been for a while with the way tomlinsons are being with F (Lottie pregnancy video also had mentions of F). I will never believe he his kid until and unless i get the positive dna test but i can't make anything out of it than we have been pushed under the bus again and it's a never ending circle.

i also read on a discourse that maybe louis wants us to believe he's his kid now. the way he's trying too hard but that just breaks my heart for the same boy who fought so hard and was able to not participate in this for four years is now okay to play dad roles all of a sudden. like that would be so bad. altho i agree that he made a conscious decision regarding what ever is happening with him and nobody is forcing him to do this on this level (like lot of blogs).

i liked your opinions on bbg always. they seem to console me. if you want to pls share your genuine opinion on why it's happening now? and where do you think things are leading?

because honestly i am only here till lt2 comes out and if things aren't better i am swearing on myself this shit is not worth my time. i would honestly just disappear in the general crowd of people who listen to their songs and then forget about them.

ps: did you get the job you were talking about? I think it's been few months since i last checked on you. also saw your new house, it's amazing. congrats!

this is such an amazingly articulated message, anon! i'm so happy you came back to talk.

first, thanks so much for asking about me! i am feeling so much more hopeful in my personal life rn. i got the job in a contract position and will move to salaried once the hiring freeze lets up in the company. getting out of my roommate situation has changed so much for the better just in the last week or so. i don't know what is going on with you, but i hope you are happy and healthy!

okay, onto the meat of it. yes, i was so hopeful. i mean i was cheekily so sometimes. like i didn't actually always think babygate was gonna "end today" but i did have hope it could still end by lt2.

anyways, i stopped engaging on tumblr as much because of many things, not just personal. ive become frustrated with the state of the fandom and i also just got more and more confused by HL's actions. i didn't have patience for the discourse and the clout-chasing and the biased opinions (i know i'm not immune to those things). basically ive still been very tuned in but just in private, on discord. i engage a lot still with their content but just in private because the fandom felt so different. i tend to know generally what the "fandom discourse" is on any given day but i'm a lot more detached because there are very few takes i can fully agree with anymore.

ive been very confused as to everything that has gone down since, i would say, April of 2021. and ive felt very conflicted by HL's choices since this past winter. i don't have the same interest in theorizing or expecting change as i once did because i don't see a particular pattern anymore. HL's motivations appear to be different and i'm not sure what to make of it.

as to the discourse... yeah those dms were something and that discussion blog is...um...ok....lol...

for me, the attacking of larries is not a matter of "he has done it before and it's to be expected". it's a matter of: it is 2022 and this is playing into his homophobic image which is no longer necessary for his closet and unhelpful for his career in current society. this isn't 2011 anymore. i know he did the same in 2017 but like??? he has left Syco, he had a tour filled with rainbows, he has young 14 and 15 year old queer women who look up to him. for me, there aren't excuses for specific things that have been done in the last two years. for both harry and louis. i feel conflicted about both of their actions in equal measure.

i agree about the apparent lack of fighting tbh. things feel wildly different than 2020. something has changed and i'm not sure what it is. it does feel like something happened that kicked off this extreme change in energy around spring 2021. as my friend Brenda says, it feels like we are missing a piece of the puzzle. that being said: it's been going on so long and it's gotten so bad and relentless that very little feels fun anymore. even compared to the start of louis's tour, something feels off. HL are less loud and less combative and less rebellious and even moreso since february 2022. even the larriebaiting we've gotten since then feels more passive and subdued.

i've gone through many emotions watching it all with my friends from angry to sad to heartbroken to apathetic. i've gone crazy enough to be reading them with my tarot deck on the regular, trying to make sense of why they've been doing what they are doing.

nothing will ever convince me out of what i know yo be true. nothing will ever convince me that louis is the father of freddie. even if he got himself a positive pat test, briana was never pregnant. nothing will ever convince me that their het images are real. for me, it's just becoming a question of how much i engage. i always felt appreciated and loved and connected as a fan even when shitty things happened. i cannot say i feel that way anymore. sometimes it feels like they want a shift in the fandom and i don't want to be in a place where i feel unwanted. this might mean i don't buy merch anymore or i only get one copy of the album or i don't engage in content creation anymore. i'm not totally sure what it means but if things keep up as they have the last year, i probably won't re-engage.

to answer your question of what i think this is leading to: fuck if i know. it's starting to feel like nothing. we could wake up next week to find out all this bullshit was leading to a custody case where louis ends it and then we get leaked pics of HL kissing during the dwd premiere ruining olivia's whole career. OR this could go on and on and we have to put up with louis using a full on child who is old enough to understand what's happening and has been exploited by his own family for promo of his new album while an independent artist and watch harry get engaged to olivia to sell a shitty movie advertised as all about female pleasure when's it really about hostage and rape. i just don't know anymore because everytime i thought they had a plan and a direction they were moving in, it just got worse.

to be perfectly clear: i'm always gonna love these two boys from the bottom of my heart. they are imperfect and have made many mistakes but i still love them. i'm never gonna doubt what i know about them up to this point. i'm always gonna think they are gay heroes intheir own right. i still believe they have been misled and are being talked into things by greedy and corrupt execs and managers. i'm never gonna think louis is a dad and i'm never gonna think harry is a womanizer. i'm gonna continue listening to their music. i am gonna buy lt2 (but tbh if bg ended, id buy five copies instead of just the one). i'll likely never stop keeping an eye on them even if from a greater distance. BUT i believe the mistreatment of the gay subset of this fandom has grown and has become less acceptable over time as they have gained more say in their promo strategies. i won't put an immense amount of effort and time and money into a fandom where i am constantly gaslit and made out to be insane. at the end of the day, no matter how fond i am of them and the way they fought, they are two extremely privileged white rich people who have been in this very fucked up industry since they were teens.

i hope that answers your questions. i know i really went on there but louis and his stunts make no sense to me and have not for a while. nor his social media activity. i think he could be scared and making really dumb decisions out of fear of losing the success he has had. but, of course, i really have no clue at the end of the day. in my opinion, he is being nowhere near as transparent as he once used to be.

sorry if there are a billion typos, i just typed this all out in one go on my phone lol

[poems-of-a-lover]

WE'RE BACK BABY. I NEED TO FINISH THIS MOVIE KJAHGKJAHGKJSHLGK

alright peters. breaking in. to connors house. KJHGKJSHGKSJ house? office? office.

OH SHIT HI CONNORS jumpscare

also peters school uses tracks which i dont understand but its whatever

peters asking about lizards and reptiles which isnt obvious at all

this conversation is so. like curt is not hiding anything very well right now. and peters just not saying like anything so he doesn't lead onto anything. smart guy

police timeeee peters now at the station to talk to mr stacy

hes trying to convince this man that this scientist is changing himself into a giant lizard which is the truth cmon it sounds completely bonkers when u hear it

the way he says "he lost one arm and hes trying to grow it back" is the EXACT SAME DELIVERY STYLE as when harry says "you submitted designs for the grid and now you want them back" in the second film and it was completely unintentional and just how they read the lines or something but i make the connection every time i watch these bc theyre so similar and it makes me sad anyway back to the plot

even tho mr stacy acts like he doesnt believe peter he still runs a background check on connors just to be sure and i think thats such a good call sakjfhsjk

WHY IS CURT WORKING IN THE SEWER i know why but its just hilarious still

okay peters in the sewer to catch this lizard guy and hes in this weird intersection thing of the paths and he shot webs into each of the pipes to feel vibrations of each one and now hes chilling in the middle of his web playing bubble blaster jksdhfkjsdf me fr

TINY LIZARDS TINY LIZARDS

ive always wanted to at least like hold a gecko or something NOT THE POINT PETERS BEING KILLED BUT STILL

owwww he just sliced peters chest i have such a low pain tolerance id be sobbing my eyes out dude

peter getting beat to shit then just falling in thru gwens window is so real

this scene is EXACTLY what i mean when i say men covered in blood are attractive. i wanna look like him.

CAPTAIN STACY IS A GOOD DAD AND ILL SAY THIS FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS

"easy, bug boy" "what did you call me?" THEYRE SOOOOO

peters just. argh. the man u are, andrew garfield. he was honestly probably my gay awakening bc jesus christ

oh yeah peter says he created lizard but. all he did was give him the equation bc he thought that he was helping a man grow his arm back. agh.

"its what my father had been working on secretly. now i know why he kept it a secret. JUST U WAIT MR PARKER

okay theyre out on their date i love petergwen

ANYWAY. CONNORS IS GOING INSANE. AND HE KNOWS WHO PETER IS.

"would you give it all up after all you know you can do?" if i had a nickel for every spiderman villain who heard voices in their head encouraging them to do what they do. jesus.

oh yeah. connors shows up to the high school. to kill peter. lovely plan my guy.

peters plan to get him to stop is the whole "look into my eyes doc this isnt u ur better than this" and it is NOT working peter pls just hit the man

GWEN LEAVE GIRLYPOP WHAT ARE U D O I N G

nvm peter throws her out the window shes fine =]

like shes swinging on a web out there still so shes fine but he still threw her out the window

THIS STAN LEE CAMEO IS SO GOOD hes there in the library with headphones on and all we hear is classical music while lizard and peter fight to the death behind him

connors is goneee off he goes back to oscorp

that one shot of flash sitting outside the school alone while everyone else is being tended to makes me so sad

PETER FOUND CONNORS LITTLE SEWER LAB this can only go well

again. if i had a nickel for every time peter found a secret video diary from a man he looked up to explaining their secret works. id have two nickels. (one as of where we are chronologicaly but still. two.)

connors is at oscorp lets see how this goes

okay yeah so essentially he made this formula into a gas that hes gonna spread over the city to turn everyone in nyc into giant lizards

peter says mother hubbard and i love him for this

AND THE POLICE ARE STILL AFTER PETER. LEAVE HIM BE.

like they shot him with a tazer gun and theyre gonna arrest him this is so stupid

but guess what. skjfhksjh peter reveals himself to mr stacy and tells him that gwens at oscorp so he'll let him go (which she is i just forgot to mention that part)

AM I GONNA BE ABLE TO FINISH THIS FILM IN THIS POST. PLEASE.

oh yeah peter still gets shot in the leg either way love that

the fact that connors doesnt attack gwen or anything when shes right there is so interesting. like he just leaves her.

OH OH the guy whose kid was the boy peter saved on the bridge? he works in construction and him and his buddies use cranes to help peter get to oscorp bc hes injured its so incredibly sweet

gwen is so worried about peter that shes like almost in tears telling her dad to make sure hes safe they mean so much to me

okay peter and lizard are fighting. again. its been such a busy day for these two.

not much to say rlly its another fight scene and peters trying to put the antidote into the gas machine thing and lizards trying to stop him

"poor peter parker. no mother, no father, no uncle. all alone." "[INCREDIBLY LOUD GUN COCKING IN THE BACKGROUND FROM MR STACY] hes not alone!"

so yeah mr stacys stabbed but peter gets the antidote in the machine in like the last second so everythings fine

lizards back to being human so thats chill, everyones back to normal, all that stuff shfjksdf again not much to say

stacys dying forgot about him for like a split second sjdhfs theres no way hes getting out of this

"you're gonna make enemies. people will get hurt. sometimes, people closest to you. so i want you to promise me something, okay? leave. gwen. out of it." so guess if peter does that .

AND PETER. PETER DIDNT GET THE CHANCE TO PROMISE IT. BC HE DIED TOO FAST FOR PETER TO RESPOND. SO HE JUST SCREAMS. AGHKSJGHKJHG.

yippee everyones back to normal! also peter gets home. after a citywide evacuation and a monster attack. walks up to may without a word. and hands her a carton of eggs. bc he forgot to get them last time. then just melts into her arms and hugs her like shes all hes got. these two.

he also doesnt publicly go to mr stacys funeral bc he was told to stay away from gwen so he hides on top of a building to watch instead

FLASH WAS AT THE FUNERAL gwen shows up to peters house to ask why he didnt come and he just says that he cant do it. he cant see her anymore. doesnt say why doesnt explain anything doesnt say sorry. just pushes her away completely. bc thats easiest. and then she just "he made you promise, didnt he? to stay away from me? so that id be safe?" no response. she just leaves.

"what a pretty girl." "yeah, thats what uncle ben said." I LOOOOVE HIM AND MAY DUDE

ugh this conversation makes me sooooo emotional

"im just no good for her." "peter parker, if theres one thing you are, its good. and anyone who has a problem with that can talk to me." YESSSS QUEEN I LOVE HER

I FORGOT ABOUT THE GOD DAMN VOICEMAIL FROM BEN FUCKING CHRIST

my senior quote came from this, its "you owe the world your gifts, you just have to figure out how to use them"

PETER AND FLASH ARE FRIENDS NOWWW JSHKJGHSKGJ THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

"dont make promises you cant keep, mr parker" "yeah, but those are the best kind" YIPPEE HIM AND GWEN ARE GONNA BE FINE

END OF THE MOVIEEEEEE WE DID IT. ON TO. MY FAVORITE FILM IN THE WORLD IM SO EXCITED AJKGHKJADHGKLJHALGKHALGJ

nick watches spiderman (cont.)

im gonna make another post bc i have a feeling im close to hitting the text limit on my other one but we're still on the first movie!! im gonna try and get thru this movie soon bc i HAVE to get to the second ones before my demons get me

okay where we are rn ben just died and peters in his evil era tryin to find the guy who did it

like hes just goin up to random dudes and beating them up bc he thinks its The Guy when its not

and every time i watch this movie i forget if they find him or if the plot point is abandoned bc peter has bigger problems by then KJGSHLKGJHSKH guess we'll remember together

peter falls thru a roof and these guys just let him go. like they leave him there. to be fair what were they supposed to do but still.

this is where we get the inspo to make a suit!! he sees a wrestling poster and is like "that could be me =D"

agh i wanna look like him so BAD bro i wish that were me

shoutout to him STEALING FROM OSCORP to make his web fluid thats so funny

this handstand moment is apparently judged by a lot of fans as him becoming spiderman but theyre SO wrong that doesnt happen until later in the film in my opinion

like thats just my opinion but other ppl can be wrong ig /lh

also how did he get this police radio. how do any of the spidermans get their radios. did they take them from officers. can u buy them. whats goin on here.

omggggg its captain stacyyyyy he'll be important later

like. incredibly important. GKJHSGKJSHGKJ we'll get to him in a minute.

"spandex.....spandex.......everything.......spandex......" i love peter so much

HE'S MAKIN THE SUITTTTT HES GOT THE SUIT NOW!!!!! THE SUIT OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!

i love this suit sooooo much its so textured and i love the logo its so fun

this car thief scene is rlly the scene of all time i love it

so many good peter lines from this scene

"seriously? u rlly think im a cop? a cop in a skin tight red and blue suit? yknow, u have got the mind of a true scholar, sir" PETER PLEASE BE NORMAL

this head tilt. the peter head tilt. in this context its kinda menacing but hes so me coded bc i also do the head tilt thing KHGSKJDHGKJ

the first time i saw this scene and for a while after i thought he told the cop "i just TOOK 80% of ur job" after he took the gun but he actually says "i just DID 80% of ur job" bc he webbed the criminal and i was so disappointed bc i rlly thought he was making a solid dig at the police force but hes just being petty KJGHSKJGHKSJ

ugh him talking to may here makes me sooooo sad. "u dont have to wait up for me, yknow" "yes i do" SHE LOVES HER NEPHEW PLEASEEEE

shes so worried for her nephew. seeing him hurt just destroys her. this boy is all she has. she lost her husband, her brother, her sister in law, and seeing her nephew come home at god knows what time just beat up and wounded must be so heartwrenching and she cant do anything bc he wont talk to her. i love tasm may shes so interesting.

"aunt may please, please go to sleep." "i cant sleep! dont u understand? i cant sleep! peter, listen to me. secrets have a cost, theyre not for free. not now, not ever." SOOOOO TRUE QUEEN. I SENSE A THEME.

AND THEN HE JUST WALKS OFF. LEAVES HER THERE. AJHGJSKGJAGFSJHF

oh yeah they're pushing curt to start human trials when they cure isnt ready, oscorp is so incredibly corrupt and its done so well in both films

"people die. even norman osborn." AKJGHKJSAGH SOOOOOO TRUE. YES. I HATE NORMAN SO MUCH.

also sorry for just quoting this movie so much it has so many good lines that i could talk about for the rest of my life

oh yeahhhhh this guy wants to start human trials??? at the veterans hospital?????

ugh theyre talking about plot that we dont learn until like the second film so its not important yet but its such a cool thing later on

PETER AND GWENNNNN I LOVE THEM

she really cares about him and it makes me so happy

shes inviting him to dinner!!!! with her family!!!!! its a family hes never met eating a meal hes never heard of but still its with the girl he really likes so hes gonna just deal with it and show up anyway

ugh normans doing things /neg

hes doing human trials. on himself. lets see how this goes HGKJSDHGKJL

oh hi peter. dinner date time.

he brought gwens mother flowers???? KWHGKSJGHSKJHGK theyre a little messed up bc they were in his bag while he was swinging but still!!! he brought flowers for this girls mom hes so sweet

"you must be peter" "dad this is. peter." thank u gwen

oh yeah i failed to mention that the captain of the police department is gwens dad if u didnt catch that from his last name

curt has his arm back!!! the cure worked!!!! hoping and praying that nothing bad happens and he just gets to live a normal life and be happy from now on

he has to go catch the one guy that i forgot the name of (edit its dr ratha) from going to the veteran hospital but the cure is backfiring so hes like. goin thru it. lizard moment.

anyway peter cant cut fish corrcctly

hes never had a fancy meal like this!! hes a little dumb!!!

uh ohhhh theyre talking about spidermannnnn yikes

this is what it feels like to talk politics with relatives

"if i wanted the car thief off the street, he wouldve been off the street" "so why wasnt he then?" PETER. CHILL. UR TRYING TO DATE HIS DAUGHTER PLS BE NICE

"its called strategy, im sure ur aware of the term strategy? maybe u learned about that in school?" MR STACY U ARE ALSO NOT HELPINGGGG

"i think he stands for what u stand for, sir. protecting innocent people from bad guys." banger line right there skajfhksjd

peter still apologized and said that he didnt mean to insult mr stacy but still ksajdfhkjsd cmon peter be nice

BIG PLOT HOLE HERE. peter webs gwen and pulls her closer and she goes "youre spiderman?" before he kisses her. HE HASNT GOTTEN THAT NAME YET. NO ONES CALLING HIM SPIDERMAN YET. WHERE DID SHE GET THAT.

ugh it gets me every time like where did that come frommmm

peter pulling away completely and turning around when her mother catches them is so funny hes trying to be respectful

uh oh crime time

HE JUST JUMPS OFF THE ROOF. BYE.

so yeah curt connors is now a giant lizard monster thing trying to find dr ratha and?? kill him???? okay yeah kill him he just threw his car off the bridge

peter has this moment of either going after lizard or helping save this mans son and he goes to save the kid and i love peter so much

hes also very very good with kids. he convinces this little boy that his mask has special powers to help the kid get out of the car safe and its so sweet

like this kid is terrified and honestly so is peter but hes staying calm and convincing this kid that this mask will make him stronger so he can save him. THIS is the moment i was talking about. this is when peter becomes spiderman.

the moment he gave that kid back to his father alive and safe is when he became a superhero. thats also when he coins the name. but this exact moment is what made him into the actual hero rather than just having the name. he gets home and he stares at his mask bc now he knows he has an immense responsibility to save peoples lives and keep them safe.

i love this movie

oh yeah mr stacy issued an arrest warrant for spiderman after the bridge attack thats so silly of him.

more petergwen lets goooo

"does it scare you? what you can do?" "no." "...youve got to lay low." "no, cant do that." "youve got to. i mean, why?" "because of last night. those people on the bridge. whatever was attacking them wouldve killed them. so i gotta go after it." "thats not your job." "maybe it is." SUCHHHHH A GOOD CONVERSATION. UGH.

OKAY IM GONNA. LEAVE THIS ONE HERE. ive finally got motivation so im gonna keep it going in a reblog like right away but im gonna stop this post here before it gets too long skjhfksjd

[dont-you-dare-imagine]

Imagine.

Reader: adrien why does your dad sound like hawkmoth?

(Reader has they/them pronouns) (they dont have to be dating)

“why does your dad sound like hawkmoth?”

summary: just the request!!

words: 545

warnings: adrien gets a little worried near the end, mentions of eating, gabriel being an asshole,

a/n: just a short little blurb while i work on a couple longer things! you can read it as if they’re dating or they’re just friends! gender neutral reader, they/them pronouns used for reader.

You and Adrien were hanging out in his room. You two had been playing video games. You checked your phone and realized the news was on, and since someone had been akumatized today, you thought it might be interesting. “Adrien! Come on, it’ll only take a second. I just wanna see what they say about it.” you said, picking up the remote and switching it to the right channel.

They didn’t say anything too out of the ordinary. Just who got akumatized, what happened, no one was hurt, Ladybug and Chat Noir saved the day, blah blah blah. But then, something caught your attention. It was rare, but sometimes they’d have the news cameras rolling at just the perfect time

and you could slightly hear Hawkmoth’s voice in the background. “Wait, wait, Adrien, pause it. Go back!” he grabbed the remote and rewinded it by around 15 seconds. “Did you hear it? I can’t make out many words, but it sounds like he’s saying something about ‘Chat Noir’ ‘Ladybug’ ‘Miraculous’… you get the point.” You got even closer to the TV and told Adrien to turn up the volume.

“I swear I’ve heard that voice somewhere.” you say quietly. “It does sound familiar, but where would we have heard it before?” Adrien says, still sitting on the couch behind you. All of a sudden, you two heard a voice from the bottom of the stairs. “ADRIEN! Natalie has prepared dinner for you! Come down and eat it. Also, your friend will have to be leaving soon. So tell them to gather their things.” Gabriel Agreste. You were honestly surprised he took the time to call his son down himself. All he ever did was work. He never spent any time outside of his office, yet he’s still so strict when it comes to anything involving Adrien. It took months to convince him to let you hang out at his house. Super famous and rich, but overall, not a good guy.

“Wait, Adrien, rewind it again.” you said. You had a theory. It was super out there, and it most likely wasn’t accurate, but it was still fun to play the guessing game. He played Hawkmoth’s voice again, and then it clicked. Maybe you were onto something. “Adrien, why does your dad kind of sound like Hawkmoth?” You giggled a little after saying it, since it really did sound absurd. “My dad? Hawkmoth? No, haha, there’s no way. Maybe? No. He can’t be!” Adrien was worried, and he sounded out of breath. “Woah, woah, woah, I’m just kidding. It’s okay! I’m sure he’s not. I was only joking. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” You quickly sat on the couch next to him and rubbed his back while he held his head in his hands. If only you knew. “No, sorry, it was just a joke. Nothing serious. I overreacted.” he said as he sat up straight and gave you a quick hug. “Are you sure you’re alright?” you asked, genuinely concerned. “Yep! Everything’s fine.” He said standing up. “Let’s go downstairs and have dinner. Then we can take you home, okay?” He continued as he started walking out of the room. “Okay!” you said following him down the stairs and to the dining room.

and that’s a wrap! i hope you guys enjoyed! have a nice day!!

[6rookie-writer0110]

Heaven is not waiting for me anymore

Clark Kent x Male!Reader Kent

Request - where y/n is the son of Clark and Lois from the injustice universe. He has kryptonite in his system where he is unable to use his powers because clark (injustice) made an example of him so he can show fear. After that he has been cold to others and distance with people including Barbara who he has feelings for but so much has happened. So he has to relay on martial art from training. with bruce, he also has a bat suit. He also have a deep hatred for his father (injustice superman).

Earth 2- Injustice Universe

You lost your mother Lois because of the Joker. Your father Clark snapped, he became a different person. Now he is starting to kill criminals and doesn't care about anyone or you. He doesn't stand for hope anymore now he stands for destruction. You feel that you lost both of your parents, you don't wear the symbol of hope anymore.

You made a plan to stop your father. You didn't think fully out the plan, but you have kryptonite inside a gun. You are half Kryptonian and kryptonite is still your weakness.

You have been tracking your father, he is about to kill a criminal robbing a bank. But you stepped in and punched him in the face. Everyone saw what you did, they take out their phones and start to record. Now you and Clark start to fight each other.

“You are destroying everything! You are no god!!” You yelled.

“I am a God. Everyone bows down to me and you would bow down to me” Clark said.

You take out the gun, you pulled the trigger. But he used speed to grab the gun and there is one bullet left. Now he will make sure everyone will watch what he will do next. He has his hand around your throat, you are struggling to breathe and tears go down your face.

“Anyone who tries to disobey me or think they can kill me, this will happen!” Clark yelled.

He aimed the gun on your chest and pulled the trigger. Everyone is in shock at what happened, he throws you to the ground. You are in pain and you try to use your powers but can't. Barbara arrived at the scene, she used Batarang to distract him. He left and Barbara picked you up and takes you to the bat cave.

---

A week later...

You have been in a coma for a week, Barbara and Bruce have been taking care of you. You wake up and you see Barbara looking at a computer screen.

“What happened?” You asked.

She turns around and walked towards you.

“You have been in a coma for a week. The kryptonite was close to your heart. You lost a lot of blood and it was too much kryptonite in your system” Barbara said.

You touch your chest and you see the scar. You sighed and she gives you a cup of water.

“Thank you, Barbara. But I have to go” You said.

“Your father thinks you are dead. Don't do anything stupid, you almost died and if it happens again he would kill you” Barbara said.

“He needs to be stopped,” You said.

“I know. But he is stronger than you, you are thinking reckless” Barbara said.

You take out the iv from your arms and take off the hospital gown. She gave you a hoodie and sweat pants.

“Where are you going?” Barbara asked.

“Dont worry about me,” You said.

She watched you walk away and she called Bruce and told him what happened. You went to a rundown motel and you want to be alone. Your father thinks you're dead and he is still killing criminals, no one can stop him.

Days went by, you didn't leave the motel room for anything. Barbara didn't check up on you, she wanted to give you space. And she has been busy with Bruce designing a suit.

You are in bed watching tv, you hear a knock on the door but you don't get up. She starts to knock louder, but you don't move.

“Y/n! Open the door now” Barbara yelled.

You sighed heavily then got out of bed and opened the door.

“What!?” You yelled.

“Are you done with the pity party!?” Barbara asked.

“How did you find me?” You asked.

She walks in and you closed the door. The motel room is a dump.

“Wasn't hard. I put a tracker on the hoodie you left with. I know you still want to stop your dad, so come with me” Barbara said.

“Why should I? Plus he still thinks I'm dead” You said.

“To train. You are still weak if you went to fight him now well he will break like a stick” Barbara said.

“Fine,” You said.

You leave with Barbara, she took you to Bruce’s mansion. You and Barbara have feelings for each other, you told her, and you were going to ask her out but tragically struck. Her feelings for you haven't changed but she wants to be there for you. She wants you to open up to her but you won't.

“Y/n, how are you,” Bruce said.

“Why do you want me here?” You asked.

“To help you train and stop your father,” Bruce said.

“Okay,” You said.

---

Bruce and Barbara started to train with you in Martial arts. Today you are fighting against Bruce, Barbara, and the League of Assassins. Some are friends with Bruce and they agreed to train you. They are pushing your limits, they don't let you rest. Any mistake you make will let you know and make you train harder.

During the night, Bruce is training you with weapons. Barbara shows you how to use the weapons, you did struggle to fight with weapons. Bruce and the league of assassins easily knocked the weapons out of your hands.

After training Barbara would want to spend time with you, but you would lock yourself in the bedroom. She gives you space and she goes back to the bat cave.

“Here is your dinner, master y/n,” Alfred said.

“Thank you. You don't have to call me ‘master’, Alfred” You said.

“Master, y/n you shouldn't hide from the world. Yes, you are going through a tough time but that doesn't mean you can't be happy in the end. You should let yourself grieve for your mother, she was a wonderful woman and she was strong” Alfred said.

“I wish everything didn't change,” You said.

“We all feel the same way. But now you have a chance to create the life you want a new one. what would your mother say right now?” Alfred said.

What made you think what he said, he walks out of the room. You start to eat the food and keep thinking about what he said.

✯ ✬ ✫ ✬

A few weeks later...

Bruce and Barbara have been designing a suit for you. They finished with the suit and they watched you test out the suit. Last few weeks, you were training from dawn until the next day. You mastered fighting with weapons and learned new combat moves. You are still distant from Barbara, two days ago you got into a huge argument with her.

You are still in love with her but you want to protect her from your father. You don't want to see Barbara get hurt.

“What do you think of the suit?” Barbara asked.

You take off the helmet.

“I like it and I can move in it,” You said.

“You are okay with the symbol?” Bruce asked.

“I like it,” You said.

The suit is all black, the Batman symbol is red, the eyes are red, the gloves have sharp claws, and the suit protects you from kryptonite. Barbara and Bruce start to suit and you put the helmet back on.

---

You three found Bruce in the city, you stopped him from killing someone.

“Son, you came back from the dead” Clark said.

“This ends today,” You said.

“I see you are wearing a new symbol -”

“You ruined the legacy of being a Kryptonian!” You yelled.

He used heat vision to attack you but you dodged it. Now Clark is fighting you while Barbara and Bruce are trying to get the citizens away from the fight. Clark punched you and you hit the ground, he used speed to grab you by the neck.

“This time I will make sure you are dead,” Clark said.

“You are not the same father that I used to have. He is dead to me!” You yelled.

You took out, you tased him, and he lets you go. You and Clark used heat vision at the same time, you used more strength to not fall. You throw Batarang at him and it started to explode.

He fell then you start to punch him in the face over and over. All the anger you have for him starts to come out. You take out the kryptonite dagger and you try to stab but he has his wrapped around your hands.

“Y/n! Y/n don't kill him” Barbara yelled.

“He deserves to die!” You yelled.

“That is an easy escape for him! You are much better than him, don't become like him” Barbara said.

Something clicked in your mind.

“I want you to suffer until the day you die. I lost my mom and my father” You said.

You moved away from him and he starts to stand up. Bruce played a video of Lois on the big screen and starts to watch, you your father cry.

The moment where Clark held Lois before she died.

“I can't lose you” Clark cried.

“I will always love you, Clark. I will always remember you and y/n, please be there for each other. He is going need to you. Tell him, I love him...”

You start to cry and it would be the last time you hear her voice.

“Son, I am sorry for the chaos I caused,” Clark said.

“I don't believe you and I will never will. You killed my friend Shazam and many others. You are lucky I didn't kill you because of Barbara. This is the last time you will see me” You said.

You take out the Phantom Zone projector and you sent him to the Phantom Zone.

✯ ✬ ✫ ✬

Time Skip...

You and Barbara became an official couple. She makes you happy and you carrying boxes into her apartment. You are going to live with her and she is very happy about that.

You and Barbara sat on the couch and she gave you a peck on the lips.

“So happy that was the last box,” Barbara said.

“Now we have to unbox everything,” You said.

“How about we go get something to eat and we do it later?” Barbara said.

You kissed her on the lips.

“Sounds good to me,” You said.

Later, you and Barbara spend half of the night unboxing everything. You did use speed to do it faster which Barbara is happy about. You and Barbara would save the city together but you don't kill criminals who rob a store. You would kill if it's a life and death situation only.