#after being lauded as invincible

[elevenshrub]

[mhoons]

The Guardia, Dec 5 2008

'Who wants to be a drug addict at 41?' | Oasis | The Guardian

Noel Gallagher is listing the world's 10 greatest bands on his fingers, and working out where Oasis sit among this lot. "The Beatles, Stones, Who, Sex Pistols, Kinks, Jam, Smiths, Stone Roses, Bee Gees." He pauses. "I'm putting us at seven ahead of the Smiths cos we've done more." It's classic Gallagher, the great Mancunian motormouth. In the time it takes for some rock stars to muster a coherent sentence, he'll have set the world to rights, written off many of his peers as no-hopers, talked a great deal of sense, said something truly stupid or offensive or both, and provided a potted history of 128 years of Manchester City football club.

Now he's explaining why Oasis are different from other bands. "People like Coldplay, but they don't love them. People like U2, but they don't love them. But people fucking love Oasis. That's the way it is. It's more than the music." He's got a point, as I later witness at the gigs. Though it is also true that plenty of people can't stand the band, regarding them as crass copycats, playing 100 variants of the same song - when they're not ripping off the Beatles, they're ripping off themselves.

It's a bleak November afternoon in Aberdeen, freezing, already dark outside. On the telly, the news is even bleaker than the weather as we hear of shutdown after shutdown, and a recession that has been made official. Gallagher says it reminds him of his childhood days of three-day weeks, followed by industrial carnage and Thatcher. "I remember the 70s constantly being winter in Manchester and the Irish community in Manchester closing ranks because of the IRA bombings in Birmingham and Manchester, and you know the bin-workers' strike, all wrapped up in it... They were violent times. Violence at home and violence at football matches."

It was the 90s when things began to look up for Gallagher. If ever a pop group mirrored a political project, it was Oasis and New Labour. While they couldn't have appeared more different - Oasis all scruffy jeans and swearwords, New Labour smart suits and urbane accents - both grew out of the ashes of Thatcherism and the grey Major years. Both were determined, in their own way, to counter the cult of the individual and the ethos that there was no such thing as society. For the Gallaghers, it was obvious what society was - their mates at the job centre, their mates determined to have a good time despite everything, their mates standing at the bar drinking and taking drugs as they played.

Definitely Maybe, their first album, crackled with energy - in the song Rock N' Roll Star, they don't sing about what it's like to be a rock'n'roll star because they don't know, they sing about feeling as good as one. Live Forever, still Gallagher's favourite Oasis song, is about the invincibility of youth. He wrote it as a riposte to a song by Nirvana, the morbid grunge band, whose frontman Kurt Cobain went on to kill himself. "I heard this song called I Hate Myself And I Want To Die and I thought, I'm not having that, I cannot have this American rock star who everybody is lauding as a genius with all the money in the world sitting there in his mansion on smack saying that. What d'you want to die for?"

Live Forever was Oasis' first top 10 hit - a unique mix of raucous rock and drunken optimism. But while their first album anticipated success, the second (What's The Story) Morning Glory? was about rock'n'roll fulfilment. There was a sense of wistfulness in the famous ballads, Wonderwall and Don't Look Back In Anger, as if Gallagher was already nostalgic for something that had barely started. These two songs became the supreme arm-in-arm, cigarette-lighter anthems of the 90s. They were also archetypal Oasis songs - loaded with emotional meaning, and yet virtually meaningless in themselves (what is a wonderwall, why is Sally waiting, who exactly is looking back in anger?).

He says he often didn't understand his lyrics, yet the larger meaning is transparent - the yearning for something better. One of his strongest memories is collecting the dole every week with his dad and seeing his friends there, too. "That was the Maggie Thatcher age - everyone was there with their dad."

Gallagher thinks he could have done well at school if he'd tried. He was expelled at 15 for throwing a bag of flour down the stairs and over a teacher. His mother Peggy was a dinner lady, father Tommy a labourer when he could get the work. "He was a typical Irish drinker-worker, always at the bookies, always gambling on something, didn't take his drink very well, quite violent." When Noel was 17, Peggy took the boys and moved away from Tommy.

In his early 20s, Gallagher worked as a roadie for the Manchester band Inspiral Carpets. "What a gig! Amazing. I was earning £300 for setting up a drum kit... Seeing the world, wow, couldn't be any better." That was when he started writing songs seriously.

One night he phoned home and asked Peggy what his younger brother Liam was doing. She told him he'd started a band. Gallagher couldn't believe it. "I'd shared a bedroom with him for years, playing my acoustic guitar and him sitting there going, 'You fucking weirdo' and all of a sudden he's a singer." On his return, he went to see the band, called Rain, told them it was a shit name, and gave them some of his songs to play. They changed their name to Oasis, and he joined them. Gallagher had to learn to play guitar all over again - he'd never played standing up before. "Then all at once, I turned into Paul McCartney. I was just like, 'Right, you play this, and you play that, I play this, you sing these words and sing it like this' and we were off."

Earlier this year, in a poll to find the 50 greatest British albums of the past 50 years, conducted by Q Magazine and HMV, Definitely Maybe and Morning Glory were voted numbers one and two respectively. It's incredible that Oasis are still going 15 years on - Gallagher himself thought of them as a here-today-gone-tomorrow band. With Definitely Maybe, he thought he'd done it all, said all he had to say, rocked all he had to rock. Yet here we are, Liam and Noel the only original members left, both embracing a maturity of sorts, the whole world changed around them and the band still churning out more of the same. Even more incredibly, they are as popular as ever (their last album went into the charts at number one, as have all the others) with an ever younger audience. How have they done it?

The one thing both Gallaghers knew was that if they made it, they were going to make the most of it. And so they did. By the time Labour came to power in 1997, Oasis were regarded as the biggest band in the world. Morning Glory sold 22 million copies worldwide, and more than four million in Britain alone. The band were constantly on the front pages of the tabloids - whether for manufactured rows with rivals Blur, hitting photographers, arguing among themselves, almost splitting up.

I ask Gallagher what it would have been like if I'd been here a decade ago. "There would have been a lot more hangers on... And the extracurricular stuff would have started already." I'd have had to kick my way past a mountain of coke? "Not a mountain. No, a little lump. When we started all the crew was from Manchester, and one by one they've all fell by the wayside, and it's a lot more professional now.

"Because it happened so quick, at Knebworth nobody really knew what we were doing. Normally when people play Knebworth it's the pinnacle of their achievement and they put on these awe-inspiring shows. We were just on the piss really. There's not so many fuckin' idiots surrounding the band any more."

What does he prefer? "I loved it then. But we couldn't be like that now because we're all late 30s, early 40s. I'm 41. Everybody says I'd be dead. Well, I wouldn't be dead, I'd just be a little caricature of a rock star. Who wants to be a drug addict at 41?"

In the mid-1990s, he moved to a salubrious part of London and a house he named Supernova Heights. "When I lived in Primrose Hill, I operated an open-door policy. I'd spent so long on the dole, and I'd moved to London and lived in this huge house, it was like, this is it, I'm living the dream, man. I invited a full awards ceremony back to mine once, George Best included. I won summat for summat or other, and it was the last award of the day and I gave out my address and said, 'Everybody back to mine.' And loads came. It was a great day. The police were called and all sorts."

Soon after Labour came to power, Gallagher was invited to Downing Street to celebrate their respective triumphs over Thatcherism. Tony Blair shamelessly tapped into the new wave of pop groups and designers that became known as Cool Britannia. "Alan McGee [Oasis' manager] got involved with the Labour party and he said, they want to meet you, and I was like, well of course they do. Who wouldn't? I was still on that euphoric night out that started in 94."

Did he have any qualms about endorsing Blair? "It wasn't so much an endorsement of him as, get these fuckers out." They all got carried away, he says - Blair thought he was JFK, Oasis thought they were the Beatles. When the band signed to Creation Records, Gallagher told McGee that if he made enough money to buy a chocolate-brown Rolls-Royce, he'd never want another thing.

After the success of Morning Glory, McGee bought him the chocolate-brown Roller and they turned up at Downing Street in it. Of course they did. "It was all symbolic. McGee used to work on the railways in Glasgow, I used to work on the building sites in Manchester. So we all piled in this Rolls-Royce and went down there. It was only four or five years since we'd signed off." Gallagher is a good storyteller. He can still recreate the weirdness of it all. "There was a strange array of people, Piers Morgan, Pet Shop Boys, Ross Kemp, Lenny Henry... It wasn't cool." Ever since, people have asked whether it was good for the band. For Gallagher it was just the first stop on a night out. "We left there and went somewhere else and then somewhere else and then back to someone's house and ended up back at mine at 7am, watching it on the news."

In the end, he says, Labour were corrupted by power, but he refuses to write them off. "Domestically, whatever Blair did will be overshadowed by Iraq and the weapons of mass destruction. But they brought in the minimum wage and for that alone it was worth it." He could never vote Tory. If Labour raised taxes for the very wealthy, would he still vote for them? "Yeah, totally." I remind him of the 70s when income tax rose to 98% and so many stars left the country. "It would be with a heavy heart that I became a tax exile, but then again if you're earning a pound and somebody's taking 98 pence of it, what's the point?" So what's a fair rate? "Well, I pay 40. I dunno - 50?" He settles on 50p in the pound.

I ask him if success changed him. "You'd have to be a fool to sit here and say no." Is it possible to become idolised without becoming a bit of a twat? "Well, I didn't become a twat, but I started to dress like a twat. I wore sunglasses a lot and I might have had a fur coat and I thought that was the correct procedure for being in the biggest band in the world, but no, I didn't become a twat." Nor, he says, did he go mad. "It's only solo artists who go mad; Robbie Williams, George Michael, they go mental because it is all about them, but it's not all about me."

What's the most ridiculous thing he bought? "A Jaguar Mark 2, Inspector Morse car, had it built specifically for me - a £110,000 car. Never had a licence. Never had a lesson. It sits in a garage." He's still got it? "Oh aye. It's got about nine miles on the clock. I've got a gateway that's a quarter of a mile long, and I've driven it up and down the drive. I'm going to give that car to my son, I think." What if his daughter Anais wants it? "She's not getting a big Jag. It's a lad's car. Totally."

Later, I meet Gallagher's girlfriend Sara MacDonald and tell her what he said about fame. She says it doesn't ring quite true. "Noel says to me he became a bit of a cock - being a bit mean to the people he was working with. Everybody says he's much nicer now he's not doing drugs. Everybody is, though. I mean, if you're doing tons of Charlie..."

Ultimately, the endless partying did become too much for him. He remembers the exact moment - when the band got home from a massive tour in 1998. "I dumped the bags, there were loads of people in the house, and the World Cup was on, and I still remember the one last line. I had a moment of clarity - I need a proper fuckin' life.

"I thought I'd done it all. I'd come from that rehearsal room in Manchester, gone all the way from the bottom right to the top, had all the money in the world, massive house in the country, there was nothing left to do beside go and buy a jet airplane and crash it in the lake. That's it. And I went to bed that night, and have never done cocaine since.

"Of course, nobody wants you to stop doing it because it's your house that everybody's in. So I started with a week and then it went to two weeks, and slowly but surely I began thinking, I don't really know any of these people. I'm not even sure that I know the woman I'm married to. It was a gradual dawning of, who the fuck are all these people? I know her, I know she's Kate Moss, I've seen her in the paper, and I know she's here because she manages to be with every rock band at some point so why wouldn't she be here, but everybody else I had no connection with except that they'd seen me on the telly.

"It was like, right, we're selling this house, then we're moving to the country, then the party moved to the country, then, right, this is not working - so I just stayed in, all the time, and just waited for everyone to fuck off. One by one they all left. The next thing was, well, I need to get divorced because this is rubbish. And that was it. It was very liberating."

We're sitting in Liam's changing room. He is the only band member with his own room because his guitar playing and warm-up vocal exercises annoy the others. Although there is an acoustic guitar in the corner, the room is anything but rock'n'roll - his "riders" are laid out on a table: seven bottles of Volvic, three packs of green chewing gum, three packs of blue chewing gum, fruit squash and honey.

How did success affect Liam? "He got drunk. For four or five years. I never saw him sober. I don't know whether he felt he didn't deserve any of the accolades, but he was trying his hardest to destroy everything, that's how I saw it. Like not turning up for American tours."

If you want to sum up Oasis in one anecdote, this is it. The third album, Be Here Now, was rising in the US charts, and with a grand tour to come they were set to conquer the States. Only Liam gets a phone call at the airport from his then wife Patsy Kensit and decides to return home to househunt. Noel decides he'll be fine on his tod, the band hurl a few barrels of abuse at the press, and America decides it doesn't like Oasis after all. With the world in their grasp, they blew it. "It would be like U2 turning up and the Edge going, 'By the way, Bono won't be here tonight but don't worry, I'll do it for you.' "

It's surprising how often U2 are a reference point for Gallagher, but it makes sense - while U2 are just about the most professional (and clinical) outfit going, for many years Oasis were just about the most shambolic. "People love us more for the fact that we went to America and did what they probably would have done - we had a bit too much to drink and we said the wrong things. And they love us for the fact that we never nailed it there and we keep going back and plugging away." The American tour taught him another lesson. Until then he had assumed that because he was the brains and engine of the band, the grunt with the whining voice and hyperbolic sideburns was a mere accessory. After he took over the singing duties for the tour, he soon realised that most of the fans came to listen to the band and stare at Liam.

What did America do for their relationship? "It's always been the same," he says. "I'm not one of those boys from the home counties who'll sit there and seethe and write poetry about him. I give him a clip round the ear and call him a fuckin' knobhead and then we move on."

Would he say they were friends? He's not sure. "If I don't see him from one end of the year to the next when we're not gigging, that's fine by me, and by him. The safety valve is knowing that eventually you end up in a rehearsal room together writing songs. But he's one of the few people who can make me laugh out loud and vice versa. For someone who's not got a sense of humour he's hilarious. He's got a weird way with words. Only me and him can say the things we say to each other..."

Were they ever jealous of each other? "There's a real journalistic way of going, 'Well, Liam would always want to be Noel cos he's the talent and he writes the songs, and Noel would always want to be Liam cos he shags all the supermodels.' Yeah, you can say we snipe at each other all the time... You'd have to put me on a couch and hypnotise me."

The thing is, he says, Liam was born lucky. Fact. "I'm not jealous of him, but I can't understand why someone would get on stage and attack me and not him." A few months ago a "fan" in Canada pushed Noel off stage and he broke three ribs. "If ever there's a bottle thrown on stage, it always manages to miss him and hit me in the back of the head. My point is he always lands on his feet. I always land on my arse. I've always had to work for everything I've got, and he's always just in the slipstream."

As the crowd gathers before the show, I spot three young Liam lookalikes - always Liam, the cool one. I ask one of the Liams why he thinks Oasis are still so popular. "The atmosphere. A lot of the songs are big singalongs, get your mates together, get pissed, have a good laugh," he says.

An Oasis gig is unlike any other I have been to. It is more football match than concert. The young men (mainly boys, actually) walk in with a pint of lager in each hand - more for throwing than drinking. As soon as the gig starts, mini beer fountains fly through the air like so many teenage ejaculations. As boys push their way into the mosh pit, they are patted on the back - young soldiers off to do their time at the front.

There are a good few girls here, but this is a lads' night out. When the band play the ballads, they come together, arm in arm, singing every word, living the dream. From the band, there's no small talk, no niceties, just singing and yearning. Sometimes the band stop and allow the audience to do all the singing and yearning for them.

Four nights later, we're in Glasgow. It's just as bleak, just as bitter. Gallagher has a cold and is knackered, but he's ecstatic. "I've been up all night watching the election. To sit and watch all those states swing to a leftwing politician is amazing enough, but the fact that he's a black man is just mind-blowing. Wow!"

Again, we're in Liam's changing room, and Gallagher is talking about how Oasis reinvented themelves after two of the original members, Paul "Bonehead" Arthurs and Paul "Guigsy" McGuigan, left in 1999. "That's when Oasis mark 2 started. We became more professional. Bonehead was a big drinker and Guigsy was always stoned. So when Andy Bell and Gem joined, I guess they felt they couldn't just rock in with a bottle of Jack Daniel's in one hand and a spliff in the other. They were easing their way in and that helped Liam and me be on our best behaviour."

What interests me is how he managed to keep going when he thought his best work was behind him. He says maybe he shouldn't have done. After Wonderwall and Don't Look Back In Anger became national anthems, he struggled. Paul Weller gave him the best advice when he told him that one day the songs would stop coming, and he musn't force them. He ignored him. "Between Be Here Now and Don't Believe The Truth, which spans five years, I was putting out records for the sake of it. We shouldn't have bothered, I didn't have anything to write about."

The trouble is nobody told him he was writing rubbish songs. Liam would tell him everything was great because he'd be desperate to get back in the studio and record something new. "A lot of it I listen to and think only an egomaniac would convince himself that that was worth putting on. I say to my manager, 'You told me it was brilliant.' And he goes, 'Well, you don't tell the goose that laid the golden egg that his arse is blocked up, do you?' " If he'd been really brave, he says, he would have called it a day after Definitely Maybe. "Morning Glory is for the squares... It's up there with all those great crossover albums like Thriller, and the greatest-selling albums of all time like Phil Collins and Genesis."

I ask him what a wonderwall is. He smiles. "There's a film called Wonderwall and George Harrison did the music. It's about a guy who lives in a bedsit and in the next room to him is a hippy student. He spies on her through the hole in the wall and he christens it the wonder wall. It was made in 67, appalling film - I thought what a great word, though."

These days, he says Oasis is a more democratic band - although he is still the main songwriter, all of them contribute. On the latest album, Dig Out Your Soul, there are two outstanding tracks - Falling Down is written by Noel, I'm Outta Time by Liam. The album has done well around the world, even in America where Oasis reached the top five for the first time since Be Here Now and the disastrous non-Liam tour.

I ask Gallagher if he thinks the songs have returned. "Yeah," he says, with less certainty than normal. Does he think he could write another Definitely Maybe? "No. I wrote that album when I was 21/22, and the people who picked up on that album were 21/22-year-olds. You can only do it once. We went on that tour and we were the same as them. We had no money, the people in the crowd had no money. We're rock stars now, we don't live in the same circumstances as any of these kids, so you can't even begin to write from a position of where they're coming from. But there's a point that lasts for about three years where you're in the same circumstances, you look the same and you dress the same as your audience, and that, my friend - you cannot buy that. I'd give it all up to go back to those three years.

"Listen, I'm 41, I've got two kids, I don't expect a 16-year-old to be looking to me for inspiration. It's the Arctic Monkeys' job now. I've done my bit. Now we go in the studio and it's just like, let's make some records, let's do it cos we love it."

There aren't many other contemporary bands he rates. "People say I seem very negative about new music - well, if somebody asks me what I think of Keane, I'll tell 'em. I don't like 'em. I'll obviously take it a step too far and grossly insult the keyboard player's mam or summat, but I'm afraid that's just me." His most famous insult was directed at Blur's Damon Albarn and Alex James when he said he hoped they'd die of Aids. Unforgivable, he says - he was so young, and off his head to boot. "Looking back now that fight's all so pathetic over two really quite shit pop songs." How do he and Albarn get on today? "He's a great artist," he says. "He's different from me. I'm not an artist - for me, it just comes out. He does Chinese operas and that kind of thing, he's got more strings to his bow than I'll ever have." So how do they get on? "There's always been something between me and him, and I don't know what it is."

At the aftershow party, Gallagher's girlfriend Sara is showing me pictures of their one-year-old boy Donovan. "What d'you mean, he's sweet?" she says. "He's more than sweet." There is no sign of Liam. She says he generally disappears after the gig. "He goes off quietly with Nicole [Appleton]. They're not really party types. Noel likes to chat, you can see, can't you?"

Gallagher's actually playing the DJ - flicking between the Beatles, Bob Dylan and the Hives, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. He says if the children were here he certainly wouldn't be doing that. "The kids rarely come to see the band, and when they do it's a dry night. You wouldn't be like Keith Richards, smoking fags in front of the kids, man, it's not right, is it?"

The drummer from the support band Sergeant has been giving Gallagher an earbashing all night, telling him how thrilled he is. "I told my mum I was supporting Oasis, and she just said, 'What time will you be home?' " Gallagher laughs. He tells me he has never seen crowds as young as tonight, and he doesn't really get it. "That freaks me out a bit, and I'm starting to get self-conscious thinking, wow! I'm some old dude, man, and they're all going mental for these songs I wrote."

It is strange, but there's a good reason Oasis continue to appeal to kids - unlike the Beatles and Stones, say, their music hasn't evolved. And although Gallagher is now one of rock's elder statesmen, his attitudes haven't much changed either.

Well, some have. It's 1am, the party's been going for a couple of hours and he looks around at all the young aspiring pop stars. "Right, let's be having you," he says, in his best pub-landlord voice. Time for bed, he says. "You've all had your fun."

[birriabirria]

count your blessings: karkat as a deity au

polaris is @regulusrain, the bulk of this au is theirs​

…au where karkat’s a prince and john, dave, dirk and jake are given to him as a gift??? or like… human sacrifice au where karkat’s a god and the boys offer themselves up to him??? ooooooh. or maybe karkat’s not into human sacrifices-even if he’s very arrogant!-so he just makes jake, johh, dirk and dave as his “chosen” then lets them go??? the boys don’t expect that though! they expected that karkat take them in and they get to serve him?

karkat being arrogant but not willing to kill people is cute! and the thought of the boys being confused and offended that this god didn’t take them with him is pretty funny!

polaris: Also I’m like god Karkat wouldn’t like having sacrifices :/ so every time he gets a sacrifice (and it’s VERY RARE like one per century???) he makes them gods or demigods?? So far he had 12 sacrifices he made into gods (demigods???) (guess who lmao) but when it’s the boys he’s like “four??? OK if the sacrifices are increasing I GOTTA stop it that’s way too much” bc he just… Doesn’t likes people dying for him… khggkgkhhg yes! karkat doesn’t like killing people so he’s like why people keep expecting him to do that??? ):<B and the trolls? as demigods are good too! maybe not all of them are demigods? some of them are like heroes or smiths or bards! polaris: The boys are “so we’re not good enough for you?? >:(” and Karkat is “… Listen I just don’t want you to die? Did you… Wanted to? Why are you offended???” KJHFGHKHHKGGKG YES the boys don’t want to brag but they know that they’re very handsome! and that’s the reason they were picked to be sent to karkat! so the god that they were sent to rejects them it’s oooooh ROUGH polaris: Equius is SO a smith. yeah he is!!! and so is sollux? and nepeta’s a hero! polaris: And like Karkat gets sacrifices bc he’s the god of Blood! But people are not understanding the concept they think it’s literal blood! And Karkat hates it XD karkat, every twenty years: IT’S LOVE YOU IDIOTS karkat: BLOOD MEANS LOVE karkat: IT’S NOT ACTUAL BLOOD karkat: STOP SENDING ME ACTUAL BLOOD karkat: WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP TELLING YOU ALL THIS polaris: God Karkat : leave me THE FUCK alone!!! karkat’s a god so he always has to hear about people!!! his shrines are the size of birdhouses but they STILL can’t leave him alone!! polaris: Hero Nepeta is so good… Also her asking Karkat for blessings?? And she’s like the only human he likes so he’s actually nice with her?? And she knows Karkat likes to be talked to like a normal person so when she goes to Karkat’s temple she stays hours just to talk and braid Karkat’s hair and just being a good friend you know??? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :’) that’s so wonderful! maybe karkat’s likes nepeta so much that he like a constellation for her? and maybe turned her into a demigod too! polaris: Karkat : why can’t I be the god of silence or something like that… I just want peace… Leave me alooone… karkat’s very quick with the blessings and he doesn’t realize that that’s the reason people keep talking to him! hgkgghjkg polaris: Also Nepeta meeting Dirk and going “OH you’re the idiot he always complain about!!” khgkhgkhgkjfhkfjfhkj then nepeta goes >:33c ohohohohohooho!! i’m thinking of something here!!! vriska asking karkat for a blessing must’ve been quite the scene! ooooooh the stories talking about how the thief of light stole a blessing from the knight of blood! equius asking karkat for a blessing must have been so awkward for both of them!! karkat just giving equius a blessing so equius leaves him alone! HJKJVHKGH is that why karkat gave vriska a blessing??? so she’ll leave him alone??? polaris: Also people thinking Karkat is a war god bc Knight and Blood?? But no! Karkat is even more exasperated. Not only do they get the blood part wrong but they get knight part wrong too??? Are they all stupid?? Karkat is actually one of the most peaceful gods! Leave him alone! kkjhggkhgkhg yes!! karkat definitely doesn’t act like it but he’s peaceful! is it because of his title AND the people he’s blessed??? or do people just misunderstand even though he hasn’t said anything? does he have to come out of his temple/shrine to scream at people???? polaris: Also the few people knowing Karkat is a peaceful god (all the trolls + some of the kids) burst out laughing every time they heard people calling him a war god bc Karkat a war god??? Lmao yeeees that’s it for sure you’re all so clever *snickers* some of them even go: ‘karkat doesn’t like fighting??? i don’t even know if he actually can fight???’ but karkat really isn’t a war god! some of the people he blesses fight but karkat’s himself doesn’t! the knight of blood is the god of love and he only has a handful of temples and mostly has tiny house-shaped shrines. people come to him for his blessings and the knight of blood begrudgingly gives them to the people who ask. the people the knight of blood has blessed become “heroes” and there’s stories that if the knight of blood is fond someone he turns them into demigods karkat is the knight of blood’s true name but only a few of people know it oooooh the boys as rulers? adventurers? and they ask karkat for blessings! karkat doesn’t like it when he’s called so he just goes ok this prince wants peace so i’m gonna make people be slightly infatuated with him! this one’s an heir to something and also wants peace so i’m gonna make people slightly infatuated with him too! this one’s a knight? gonna make invincible! this one’s an adventurer? gonna make fast and strong and also invincible now you all get out of my temple!!! and kicks them out (the boys don’t know that karkat’s blessings don’t work on each other so dirk and john’s charm don’t work on each other so they have to make a peace treaty the old fashion way. talking. and jake’s crossbow bolts and dave’s sword work on each other which will be a huge problem when prospit and derse go to war. oops!) the prince of derse goes to one of karkat’s tiny shrines and goes ‘i want to be loved’ and karkat’s all ‘?? ????? ? first off, mood and secondly, are you sure? are you sure you want that to be your wish? because it’s very finicky and is gonna pain in the fucking ass’ and the prince of derse had the fucking GALL to interrupt him! ‘yes i want to be loved’ and karkat just sighs, he knows how this will play out and it will end horribly for this little prince but what can he do? say no? (yes, karkat, you can say no) karkat gives the prince of derse the blessing of everyone being infatuated with him the prince of derse comes back years later to karkat and goes ‘why did you curse me?’ and karkat goes ‘listen you dumb shit i did NOT curse you, you asked to be loved and i gave it you. i fucking WARNED you to not wish for it but you demanded it! look! i’m taking it away from you! so go away! and take your troops with you!’ the heir of prospit’s throne asked karkat for a blessing. he wanted something to keep his loved ones safe. so karkat gave him the ability to talk himself out of trouble and that is by giving him the blessing of everyone being infatuated with him. the heir of prospit’s throne’s life goes along much easier than the prince of derse’s because the heir of prospit’s throne gave karkat SOMETHING TO WORK WITH. (dirk’s blessing works all the time while john’s blessing only works when he and his loved ones are in danger!) the prince of derse refuses to leave karkat alone even though karkat already took his blessing off him. karkat’s gets fucking pissed and gets out of one of his tiny shrines to yell at him. the prince of derse is flummoxed, the knight of blood? is talking? to him? the prince of derse is amazed while karkat’s shouting insults and obscenities at him hgkgkjgjhg the prince of derse and his troops kneel before the knight of blood and karkat’s even more annoyed ghkjghkgkjh he pulls the prince of derse to his feet and turns him around. karkat pokes the prince of derse’s back and tells him to go away. the prince of derse is confused. the knight of blood talked to him just to tell him to go away??? (dirk doesn’t have karkat’s blessing anymore but he’s lauded as the knight of blood’s chosen because karkat got out of his shrine to shout at him. oops) polaris: Also when Nepeta talks about Karkat almost nobody knows who it is… Bc people don’t know his name you know!! The only ones to know his name are the 12 trolls (and he didn’t told his name to Vriska (she knows it from Terezi) and Equius (he knows from Nepeta)) so people think she’s talking about like her brother (bc she said multiple times he wasn’t her lover so…) and when she hears that she’s. Oh. Well. Why not. Karkat, people think you’re my brother! REALLY? THAT WOULDN’T BE SO BAD I GUESS. aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT’S SO CUTE karkat getting out his tiny shrine to walk around with nepeta and when people ask who he is, karkat answers with ‘nepeta’s brother’ nepeta’s all :DD :’) polaris: Awwww that’s the cutest!! Also Karkat going with Nepeta on her adventures but he does kinda nothing cause that’s HER adventures you know?? But like once she’s hurt badly?? By… Villains ?? And when Karkat sees that he’s YOU WILL PAY and if people don’t remember any time the Knight of Blood was truly angry it’s because nobody was left to tell the tale u_u" the knight of blood doesn’t kill people but those people didn’t get out that unscathed! and nepeta gets known as the knight of blood’s chosen after that and people think twice about hurting her! when people don’t demand a blessing, karkat gives them a blessing based on what they love. terezi loves law so karkat gives her the blessing of memory so she can be really fucking good at law! feferi wants to change stuff to care for people so karkat gives her the blessing of being persuasive and the blessing of healing too??? karkat gave nepeta the blessings of faster and stronger but also to see love?? (dave loved music so karkat blessed him to have magical music and dave’s like orpheus. his music moves the trees and the stones! but dave doesn’t really play music that much because he became focused on his knight training) a knight of derse came to karkat to ask for a blessing. karkat’s confused. didn’t he already bless this guy??? but karkat does give the knight of derse a blessing of speed and strength and invincibility polaris: The trolls (except Vriska and Equius even if he isn’t that bad) being Karkat’s friends is good! He’s a god so having people talking to him like a normal person is good! Even if he’s a god, Kanaya will mother him and scold him if he does sormthing reckless! Even if he’s a god, Sollux will argue with him and insult him (and also flirt with him XD). Even if he’s a god, Feferi will be as nice with him as she is with everybody! Terezi will lick him! Nepeta is practically his sister! Normality is good the god of love… surrounded by love… :’) that’s amazing the page of prospit goes back to karkat’s temple to talk to him and karkat reluctantly listens to him talk. the page of prospit gives karkat offerings and they’re the fancy and expensive ones so karkat doesn’t really like them. he still takes them anyway and gives them to his other followers. he doesn’t want to throw them away. that’d be waste! the page of prospit notices his offerings being given to the knight of blood’s followers and decides to start giving them stuff too. karkat’s really glad for that. the page of prospit isn’t so bad! the more loved an offering is-whether handmade or cherished-the more karkat likes it so karkat doesn’t really care about expensive offerings! karkat loves the pelt nepeta gave him because he feels the care nepeta feels for it! unfortunately, the prince of derse, a knight of derse and the heir of prospit’s throne didn’t get that memo and keep giving karkat expensive offerings. karkat’s other followers don’t mind and even encourage them to give karkat more expensive offerings. karkat’s annoyed kygkhkgkgkg when the prince of prospit gives karkat a wire wrapped pendant he spent hours on till his fingers hurt, karkat gives the prince of prospit another blessing. the prince of derse becomes a smith! a seer of derse gives karkat a doodle of her cat and a rogue of derse gives karkat whatever stuff that they like and karkat keeps all of them and is very fond of them polaris: Karkat’s other followers : why the fuck is this guy giving us precious stuff??? karkat’s other followers: …not that we’re complaining though! karkat’s other followers: oh yeah definitely not! polaris: Also I totally see Karkat loving Roxy bc she’s… Roxy. Enthusiastic and loving! She doesn’t cares that he’s a god! She’s nice! Also I want Dirk being pissed when he learns that the Knight of Blood likes Roxy more. KJHGKGJGJGJGKG awww that’s a wonderful thought! roxy doesn’t ask for the knight of blood’s blessing/protection but karkat gives one her for free because he just likes her so much! and dirk being jealous… KHGKJKJGHKGKKHG dirk’s glad that roxy has the knight of blood’s blessing/protection but he still doesn’t have one after the knight of blood took his blessing away!! polaris: Also I can totally see some of Karkat’s followers kinda tricking Jake?? Like Aradia going “if you show me those ancient Prospit ruins, I’ll be happy so the Knight of Blood will be happy too!” and Jake does that x) like… It isn’t wrong… Karkat is happy when hsi friends are happy but still… OK he might have laughed at Jake being tricked like that. karkat telling his other followers that the page of prospit is a gullible guy so maybe not lead him into too much danger??? just because this guy has his blessing doesn’t mean that karkat wants to bail him out of danger! polaris: Lmao one of Karkat’s followers takes pity on Jake and tells him that he wants loved things not precious things bc he would never have figured that out. to be fair to jake, he would have figured out eventually! a long, long eventually! khjgkjjkgkgh polaris: Omg Karkat wearing the pelt Nepeta gave him… Cute… it is! if karkat isn’t wearing it, he lies down on it to sleep! polaris: Also Karkat wearing things coming from his friends! Those things are like magically tied to them so when they’re in trouble he feels it! Nepeta’s pelt, Sollux’s earring (one blue and one red), Feferi’s fuschia bracelet, Eridan’s violet one, Kanaya’s green shoes (she made them for him), Aradia’s red hair tie, Tavros’ maroon belt, a necklace with a dragon teeth Terezi gave him! One of Vriska’s dice in his pocket! A metal bracelet Equius did for him! A shirt Gamzee gave him (it was his before). aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT’S SO SWEET surrounded by love! always!!! :‘) polaris: Also maybe wearing loved things from people he loves and who loves him gives him strength?? aaaaa that’s such a cool idea! strength from the power of love babey!!! polaris: Tbh I kinda want one of the boys to see Sollux arguing (and I can’t stress this enough, flirting XD) with Karkat and being completely flabbergasted like “you’re arguing with a god??? And insulting him???” and Sollux is “yeah?? It’s just Karkat, no big deal” while Karkat shrugs. karkat looking at each of the boys in the eye and going ‘listen if sollux ever ever ever fucking grovels, i am going to fucking kick his ass!’ and sollux does a there-you-go gesture kjklkjkjgjkgk vriska annoys karkat but karkat never smites her! kjhfjfkfkfk vriska would be SO annoying!!! she just goes around doing whatever the fuck and when people get mad, she just stands there with a shit-eating grin on her face. vriska DARES people to come after her! she has the dice and the knight of blood on her side!!!!!!!! someone comes after vriska and vriska’s just standing there. there’s a flash of light and karkat is there and he starts shouting. vriska watches karkat berate the people with unholy glee polaris: Karkat is “… Why the fuck do I like you…?” and Vriska is “aaaaaaaaw, love you too Karkles ::::D and that’s because I’m irresistible ;;;;D” and people are complaining to Karkat about Vriska! But he’s like “yeah I know she’s awful… But she’s my friend!* (cue Karkat having a crisis). Vriska gives him little things she stole (that she liked) because even being herself she’s still a bit grateful u_u their friendship is the riddle of the ages :D and aww! karkat’s mad at vriska a lot but he remembers he likes her-and she likes him!-when she gives him stuff :) polaris: Also one of Karkat friends going to see him while like Dirk is talking to him or something? Like he’s being all respectful and shit and suddenly a girl jumps on the Knight of Blood to hug him!! Dirk goes still, ready to see the girl killed by a angry god but the knight of blood SMILES and hugs her back with a "Aradia! It’s been way too long!! How are those ruins?” and then they have friendly chat while Dirk is still here, completely ignored (and very surprised). khggkgghkjkgjk poor dirk! he’s a prince! hes not used to getting ignored!! but it’s good for him to see the knight of blood happy with a friend! polaris: Terezi doesn’t really likes calling Karkat to court bc it’s too easy! >:[ she’ll win with her own skills! But when she knows that she has win and she knows she would have win even without Karkat’s presence, she calls Karkat! Just to see the shocked faces of her opponents ! It’s just too good! *cackles* terezi flexes on everybody by calling karkat!!! khjgkjggkg polaris: Also Feferi calls Karkat when she’s trying to make peace bit people REALLY aren’t listening?? (bc I guess she’s like the princess of a little kingdom…?) so she calls him! And everyone shuts up! Karkat doesn’t even says anything, he lets Feferi talk bc that’s her who’s trying to establish peace and he knows she didn’t called him so he would do her job! She wants to make peace herself!! And Karkat is just here so people will listen to her!! That’s HER fight! everybody using karkat to flex on people KJGHJGJKGJHG karkat’s just used a glorified prop and karkat just shrugs and goes a long with it. he’s out of his shrine and is walking around and he gets free food! he’s having fun! eridan doing the ‘my matesprit is the knight of blood’ thing and karkat’s confused. he isn’t???? but humors eridan anyway and shows up (does that make the boys irrationally angry? yeah kjhgkkjgkjkjg) polaris: Karkat : you knows, I see many places, I see my friends, I help them even if usually I do kinda nothing… I love seeing them and they live seeing me and I’m useful just by being here, everyone is happy *shrug* helping by doing nothing… that’s why karkat likes showing up! hgkhkgkgjg and being around friends make karkat happy too! everybody wins! except the enemies i guess kgkjhgkjhgkj the heir to prospit’s throne makes a tiny shrine for the knight of blood and karkat shows up to critique his work hkgkgkkhgk a maid of prospit bakes a cake and puts it by karkat’s shrine. karkat comes out of the shrine to eat it and thanks the maid of prospit for it. a witch of prospit loves her dog a lot and karkat knows so she and the dog has his protection polaris: Lmao Jane is very honored that the Knight of Blood liked her cake! However… He looks like he should eat more!! >:( Jane will not let one of the gods be malnourished! That’s how she begins to brings something to eat to Karkat’s shrine every day and how they become friends (Dirk is even more jealous : first Roxy then Jane??) dirk asks jane for cooking lessons jhgkjgkgkg karkat gets free food! he loves this girl! polaris: And Jane makes her cakes with love so for Karkat it’s actually even better!! aww! karkat really likes her. she has his blessing and his protection! and also some stuff he likes while karkat doesn’t call the boys ‘his boys’, he very much still considers them ‘his’ and is protective of them …who are the other gods??? the guardians??? kankri and his friends??? the seer of blood just going on and on and on while the knight of blood looks tired and annoyed sure is something for the people around!! JHKJHGKGKHG polaris: The guardians? And Kankri is/was a god but his friends aren’t? (oooor Kankri was the god of love before Karkat and when all of his friends died he got full reincarnation, the same powers the same body but not the same person?? And that’s how Karkat is created? He was Kankri before but he has only vague memories of him and he’s his own person?) the guardians sound good! death!bro strikes again! and hm maybe kankri was the god of love before and karkat was the mortal that was his friends and when kankri decided to “pass on” he made karkat the new god of love??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔 polaris: Maybe Kankri’s friends were all the Alpha trolls and Karkat and when all his friends except Karkat (he was younger) died, he decided that he would not let his last friend die but he didn’t wanted to live without all of his friends so he passed his powers to Karkat and died :( and Karkat is kinda angry at him! Bc OK he got that Kankri was sad that all of their friends died! But they were his friends too! And Kankri was the only one he had left! And Kankri abandoned him! Left him alone! okay now YOU’RE the one bringing the angst! this does sound good though but i don’t want it to be that angsty… choices, choices. karkat’s pissed at kankri but he’s nice to kankri’s reincarnation. it’s not kankri’s reincarnation he’s alone after all! and besides, kankri’s reincarnation does manage to have friends! and when karkat slowly gets friends, he starts to understand why kankri did what he did :’( death leaving the knick-knacks he likes around one of karkat’s tiny shrines and karkat shows up to accept them. karkat’s so fucking confused kgkhgkjgkgkj why does death keep giving him offerings???? does death want his blessing??? what is death gonna do with his blessing??? polaris: And then Nepeta sees Death while he visits Karkat and remember! Karkat gave her the blessing to see love ! So when she sees Death with Karkat she goes :33c hohohoooo… ooooooooh and i guess since nepeta’s a huntress, she sees death sometimes??? the gears of nepeta’s brain start turning really fast! kjhggkgj polaris: Also Kankri’s reincarnation having a irrational fear of being immortal ?? Like one time someone asked him if he would like to be immortal and he nearly gagged! That’s a very violent reaction! Everyone wanted at least once to be immortal! But not Kankri ! He fears it so much! When he tells that to Karkat, Karkat looks at him with sad eyes and says “yeah. Makes sense.” aww :’( and karkat promised kankri that he’ll never be immortal and kankri relaxes. karkat’s a god but he understands??? it’s very strange to kankri but he’s glad for it the eleven are all ‘the knight of blood is my friend!’ and everybody around is like ‘look at them saying weird things again!’ and then karkat ACTUAL DOES SHOW UP and now everybody’s all ‘THE KNIGHT OF BLOOD???’ if hal exists, he makes the same wish on the knight of blood as dirk. to be loved. karkat hears it and sighs, they really are twins, they’re both idiots. but karkat’s gonna grant the wish anyway polaris: Karkat, seeing Hal : wait is this the same idiot?? Karkat after looking closer : ah no it’s a different idiot who looks a lot like the other one. Karkat after Hal makes his wish : wait did I get it wrong?? It is the same idiot?? karkat gets offended because he thinks it’s one person making the same wish twice jhgkhghkg on a more serious note, karkat would be annoyed and sigh about it but still listen to hal polaris: “you two really are the same uh” “no we aren’t??? I’m offended” “kid you literally made the same wish to the same god. Be offended to someone more stupid” the knight of blood has worshippers of course and karkat’s all ‘yes, you all *should* worship me!’ but then some worshippers get *zealous* and now karkat goes ‘what the fuck are you guys doing?! STOP THAT’ and even goes to the person to yell at him. it unfortunately makes them even *more* zealous if the twelve are deities and there’s twelve months in a year, there’s a month named after each one? ok so. first month to twelfth: month of breath, the month of life, month of light, month of time, month of heart, month of rage, month of blood, month of doom, month of void, month of space, month of mind and month of hope. john and jane are born in the month of time! while jade, jake, rose, roxy, dave and dirk are born in the month of hope! …hal and jake meeting and of course the blessing of charm on hal works on jake and for a while hal basks in jake and everyone’s adoration until hal notices that jake talks about the knight of blood casually. when hal realizes that jake is closer to the knight of blood because jake is one of the people with divine protection, hal’s interest in jake disappears fast

[theaffablestranger]

Y’all know Recettear, right?

That one jrpg/shop management game that everyone lauds, yeah? Well, after i proved not dead after three or so months of this bullshit, I finally decided I was going to check it out. I even got a bundle of three games for eight bucks on Steam consisting of this, a game called Fortune Summoners, and the subject of today’s text post, Chantelise: A Tale of Two Sisters.

Now, I managed to absorb some inkling to the effect that Chantelise was a sort of prequel to Recettear, so I decided to play this first. Bear in mind, I made this purchase earlier today and I played Chantelise for about an hour. This is just barely a first impression that I’m sharing with you today, so allow me to fill you in on the basics of the plot, visuals, and mechanics that i have come across so far:

The story goes that two sisters, the elder Chante and the younger Elise (well, that explains the title), left their home on the night of a Red Moon despite being repeatedly warned not to throughout their lives, the implication being that the fabled witch of the forest is calling them through insidious, supernatural means. They wander into the forest in a dreamlike state, and the next thing they know, it’s morning, they’re in a familiar part of the forest, and Chante has been transformed into a fairy, wings and all. Some indeterminate amount of time later, the game proper begins, with the sisters specifically looking for the witch to make her turn Chante back into a human.

Characterization is predictably thin on the ground this early into the game, but the basics are the Chante, the older sister, comes across as rather immature in comparison to her mini-Ingenue younger sister, considering her informal and forthright manner of speech, seemingly demanding rewards for helping people in danger, and showing a willingness to impose on others’ hospitality (though considering their circumstances it is certainly understandable). Elise, in contrast, comes across as conscientious, polite, and demure. Perhaps ironically, Chante is the mage and Elise the Swordswoman between them.

Visually, it’s great... well, at first, anyway. Character designs are reminiscent of either Madoka Magica for you lot and Summon Knight: Swordcraft Story for me specifically. Though the world is 3D, most all of the characters and enemies are 2D sprites, with the player-controlled Elise being able to move in eight directions, and having the sprites to match! It gives it a feel like the DS remakes of Dragon Quest games.

I’ll break down most of the controls here; you’ll see why in a minute. As mentioned above, you play as Elise, with Chante hovering over your shoulder. Combat is a real-time, hack’n’slash affair, with enemies’ spawn positions highlighted on the map, but only spawning when you get close enough to aggro them. You move with the arrow keys, attack with Z and jump with X, being able to perform a sort of ‘dash’ by pressing both simultaneously. You attack with a basic three-hit-combo on the ground or a single swing in the air. The purpose of the dash is unclear; presumably it provides a quick way to escape hairy situations, but if you are getting mobbed, odds are good you’ll just dash into an enemy’s attack, because it doesn’t seem to provide invincibility, and if it does it doesn’t last long enough to make any discernible difference. C has Chante use magic. Magic works by using gems collected from defeated enemies or destroyed barrels/torches etc. for different elemental attacks, being able to hold C to use up more gems to cast more powerful spells.

V locks onto an enemy. Pressing V while locked on to one enemy switches it to another enemy. Not necessarily the enemy closest to you, or even closest to the current target. It honestly seems to be random, and janky, too; it sometimes just doesn’t respond to my presses. You hold V to unlock from the target.

V also controls the camera, sort of. It’s incredibly hard to explain how the camera works, because it doesn’t, really. It hangs behind you, but doesn’t properly follow you when you’re moving, remaining oriented to the direction Elise was initially facing until you hold V, so it reorients with the direction Elise is currently facing... unless there is an enemy within an indeterminable radius around Elise, at which point you’ll just lock on to them. 

A camera with a fixed orient isn’t so bad in most RPGs because many of them, especially early ones, had the “camera”/FOV set much further up and away than in Chantelise. For example, here’s what Dragon Quest 9 typically looks like:

That’s about what it’s always gonna look like unless it wants to show off some pretty architecture or the like. Apart from that, the camera stays right where it is, and while the shoulder buttons do change the camera’s position, it’s never as much a problem as it is in Chantelise since you can see a wide area around you at all times and your character’s model barely takes up any room on the screen. Compare to Chantelise:

The camera is much closer, yes, but more importantly it’s set right behind the character, so you only see directly in front of you. Obviously when there are multiple enemies off-screen, specifically behind the camera, firing projectiles at you, your best bet is to use the lock-on and hope it fixes on one of the firing enemies, and not the slime next to them you also didn’t see, or some other enemy that would be in your view if they weren’t behind a wall. Not ideal, as you can imagine. It also doesn’t play nice with the environments, either, with going up or down slopes especially being borderline nauseating after a while.

If I were playing this with a controller, I’d apparently get to to control the camera with a joystick or with bumpers, but i’m on a laptop, so I get to eat shit, I guess.

I imagine it wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t constantly mispressing the C and V keys, too. In fact, they’re all way too close together and awkwardly placed. If I could map them to something like, I dunno, A, S, and D for attack, magic, and camera/Lock-On respectively with Space for jump, I’d probably have less of an issue with it. Hell, have the camera reorient be a separate button so it doesn’t swing around to focus on a slime halfway across the map when I’m just trying to figure out what i’m running into. Unfortunately, you can’t reassign keys at all, so I’m shit out of luck until I get used to it. 

More on this when I get further into it. Until then, I’m going to bed.

[mason-mem]

Serres Malfeasance continued

citizens belt it out only at trivial encounters, sporting events in the past and today at media or financial gatherings. Like victory, the terrain changes hands with each match and every half-time. It is paid in rent.

THE RED THREAD: COMMERCIAL USES AND ABUSES And now the second softening. Which event made the twentieth century into a key moment in the history of our species, and even in the process of hominization? It was not the wars or the violence that bloodied the world and monotonously repeated and even worsened those ordinary abominations of the nightmare we call history, but the progressive disappearance of agriculture in those morbidly suicidal countries. The main hominine activity since the Neolithic era was daily cultivation of a plot of land where the pagus carved the hard and fixed place designating property. Around 1900, more than half of our fellow citizens were involved in this activity, or at least half of the working population, while today it concerns only 2 percent of them.

THE OTHER END TO PROPERTY Those who celebrate and repeatedly sing of those blood-soaked furrows have forgotten, probably forever, about the long line of yokes and ploughshares of earlier labour. As a result, the aforementioned pagus no longer refers to property. And so the Western countries erased the peasant landscape from the surface of their lands. Henceforth, flattened by the bulldozer over hundreds of connected acres, the soil of France shows only rare fragments of this archaic landscape. No more peasants, no more country.

Henceforth the property reference goes from hard— arable land, the tomb, corpses, and pagan gods—to soft, a simple signature on paper, from pagus to page; the ancient word is repeated as it goes from hard to soft.

FRANCHISES However, we cannot consider franchises, so common today, as a recent discovery or a brilliant invention due to new markets. When the big corporations get rid of their hard properties, complex machinery, invincible walls, heavy voluminous means of production; when they even desert their premises and retain only their logo, the name, flag, colors, sign, and advertisement, they just perpetuate the movement of deterritorialization begun a few years ago in the peasantry and even earlier, at least two millennia ago, by religion. Evidence of this movement remains in our Roman languages, with the semantic shift I have just mentioned between pagus, the patch tilled by slow oxen and the metal ploughshare, and the page, with writing mimicking furrows. Shall I sign these pages with my soft name?

Unfolding historically, the movement will go from this "natural" hard of bodies to the "cultural" soft of signs. Appropriation especially will tend to occur less through discharges than with signatures on pages, or with images and words, proclaimed, posted, or written; less by blood or urine than by acronym.

However, as we shall see and hear, signs will quickly become just as dirty and polluting as the discharges and will perpetuate the ancient gestures of appropriation with their hard softness.

RE-APPROPRIATION OF SOLD OBJECTS Let me show how this works by returning for a moment to the mark. When I was young, at the start of the new school year my mother would mark my clothing by sewing my initials, MS, with a red thread on my pyjama collar, on the front of my shirts, on the back of my socks, and the waistband of my underpants. As a boarder at the lycee, this allowed me to recognise my clean clothes delivered by the school laundry. The cleansing appropriated the dirty linen, which, cleansed, became properly our own. I recognised my underwear by the fact that my mother had somehow dirtied them, less by hard blood, both pure and impure, mine or my mother's—we were secretly losing religion, even ancient religion!:—than by a thread, soft this time. Red (the colour mimicked the blood), and thin (it had merely become a sign of the latter). The horror of boarding school was well worth shedding this blood. Even though soft, this new dirt resisted cleaning, just like Macbeth's hands and Bluebeard's key.

And now, companies or manufacturers mark with their stain, imprint, or signature what they sell: food, clothing, automobiles. By a clever strategy, which is inconspicuous because visible to all, they share their possessions with the buyers; what is more, they keep what they sell. From far away, my car does not announce my name (I mean that of the Jean-Jacques-like simpleton who thought the purchase was his) but the brand of the manufacturer. To be sure, we pay the manufacturers, but somehow they keep what they relinquish. We just have a lease. In so doing, they rob us, which enables us to finally understand Proudhon's famous words: Property is theft Even better, they are so good at convincing buyers of the real or alleged excellence of their products that they instil in the public the desire to acquire them. And so the victims stand in line to multiply the advertising that targets them. Still better, not only does such-and-such brand keep my automobile by clearly showing its name and logo in the front and in the back, but the state too demands a registration on which it also affixes its stamp. The objects we buy remain dirty, hence appropriated by those who sell them and by the government. Twice victimised, we become tenants of two ogres, in two soft ways. We no longer buy, we lease! Even better, we advertise for those who rob us; we laud them!

I respect the practice of piercing. I consider it a reappropriation of one's self, one's body or skin, by a personal mark or emblem, after the dreary weariness of wearing other people's advertisement on one's trousers.

DATA Let us stay with soft signs. Everything that marks me: my name, my birth date, my purchases, my various addresses and those of the places where I like to shop, the list of my calls and food preferences, my telephone and fax numbers, my social security and passport numbers, the numbers of my bank account and my expenses, the figures of my taxable income, the series of illnesses and the medicine I swallowed; I use the first person to let the reader know that all this is properly my own, even intimately mine, as for instance my body and health. Back to blood! In technical language this is usually called my data. To whom have I given them?

A strange term. Traditional philosophy uses the same word for what I feel and see in the world: perceptual data, they call it. Do things offer me for free their profile, their horizon, their forms, colours, sounds, and caresses? As far as I know, as the predators at the top of the food chain, we kill and devour animals and plants without asking their consent. They give us their blood, their flesh, bones, and skin. By what unwritten right do we believe that animals, plants, and the world belong to us, in short that those feeling and living beings were and remain ours? Do we rob the world just as the manufacturer and the state confiscate my car? Bringing violence and death, we become their masters and possessors. We live and eat like the world's parasites.

But on reflection, it occurs to me that my data, name, addresses, and the numbers listed above are soft compared with the hard data of the world, and so very personal. They are distributed and inscribed in different cards, with or without chip, often called loyalty cards, the content of which often belongs much less to me than to several private or public institutions. At least they share with me. To whom do the so-called data banks belong?

Will we as individuals, clients, or citizens allow the state, banks, hospitals, and department stores to appropriate indefinitely our own data, especially since they constitute today an authentic source of wealth? This is a rather new social, cultural, political, philosophical, moral, and legal problem, solutions to which risk transforming our individual and collective horizon. The result might be the pooling of sociopolitical divisions and the arrival of a fifth power, that of data, independent of the four others, the legislative, the executive, the law, and the media. No one can guess whether it will alienate or guarantee other freedoms. Right now, our data do not properly belong to us, I mean completely. Again, we enjoy them only as tenants.

SPERM:SEXUAL ABUSE After urine, blood, and sign, now sperm. This is another appropriation, another tenancy. Let us revisit two places described indulgently before. First, the uterus. Plato mentions it in the Timaeus when he describes the space he calls (khora), which is sometimes eulogised in our cultures as paradise lost. The matter of this uterine space, according to Plato, acts as a support for imprints or wax tablets to carry marks of traces; today we would call it a base. But which or whose marks, which or whose imprints are we talking about? Those of the owner, a tenant, a passing visitor? And what about this marking, this impression, which is usually called pregnancy or impregnation in the natural sciences? Who holds the ploughshare of the cart or the stylus of those traces?

RETURN TO THE REAL PLACE: THE THIRD END OF PROPERTY Now the vulva and vagina. Since immemorial times, the male seeks the ownership of a space where, like the above-mentioned animals, he deposits a product that is not very different from urine, at least in terms of its origin. By ejaculating sperm, he thinks he is appropriating the place where his desire is acted out. There is one evidence of this animal remnant, of this ideology, practice, or myth. It is the ancient theory of impregnation cited above, the telegony, a strange story where a woman, after having had a first child from a certain lover, will for the rest of her life have daughters and sons showing the characteristics of that first child, even when later real fathers do not have those characteristics.

One of Emile Zola's first novels, Madeleine Ferat, well before the Rougon-Macquart series, tells the story of the morbid and fatal jealousy of a husband who sees in his children only the traits of his wife's first lover. This telegony could be formulated as follows: "The first who, by ejaculating on a vulva or in a vagina, says 'This organ is mine' and finds a woman simple and naive enough to believe him becomes its permanent owner." This is the sexual version of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, revised and reissued in L'Amour (a great book in other respects) by Jules Michelet, who cites le Traite philosophique et physiologique de I'heredite naturelle, written by a certain doctor Lucas, the unquestioned authority in these matters at the time. Michelet evokes "the general law among superior animals that auctions off the female to her first love."11  Michelet adds: "The possession by the husband—the first occupier—becomes indelible, while the lover would be the one who is actually betrayed," In a daring article in La Tribune, relying on letters by Marion, laureate of the Institut, Zola defends his book by giving it a moral thrust, saying that scientific physiology is the foundation for lifelong marriage bonds. It should be noted that the belief in telegony also justified the real or imaginary practices of the droit de cuissage; many women remained convinced that if as virgins they slept on the eve of their wedding with a prince, all the children with their husband would be born with the mark of "blue blood" and high lineage. I still remember from my peasant childhood how one of my neighbors could not sell his pups even though they were the offspring of a so-called pure-bred dog, because the village remembered she had first been laid by a mongrel. Everyone said she was marked. Again the mark! At the very end of the nineteenth century, Ibsen and Strindberg still repeat this thesis, which could look like a western and "softened" variant of excision: sperm rather than blood, a flow rather than a wound, a crime and a scandal.

Today genetics deals a fatal blow to these phantasms, the morbid consequences of which are described by Zola. The ideology allowed men to consider themselves the owners of their wives, provided they were the first occupiers of the "place." Did they forget that as children of two sexes, we had already dwelled there?

In a text that I am ashamed to see classified as philosophy, Emmanuel Kant gives this infamy a sort of conceptual dignity by saying that in marriage the woman is the object and the male the subject. She is passive, he is active; she is the hotel and hostess, he is the guest; she is the earth, he is the owner. Crouching down, the squatter of Konigsberg appropriates the space and the objective by spraying it. Dirty beast, bad beast!

A FEW NEW TENANTS Sometimes I try to assess the volume of hatred that women, treated in this manner for millennia in every culture and everywhere on earth, must eliminate in a few generations! Women's liberation simply sounds like dis-appropriation, decolonisation of those spaces. Let us finally forget the etymology inferred by those humiliating practices. What is more difficult than imagined, women must re-appropriate the organs of their own bodies, while the male should finally be content with the eminently modern role of tenant. 

And now, the man will say to his lover, "You are my home, but I am only a co-habitant" (col-locare, I cohabit with you in the same container, we lay down in a common tenancy, in justly shared spaces). So much for sexuality; now let us talk about genitality. Biologists tell us today that the male sex indeed acts like the parasite of the female by having her carry the burden of the reproduction of his genes. Long live experiments in medically assisted procreation or artificial insemination! In passing, here is a friendly suggestion; wash before making love and belonging to another; but she will not really love you until she loves your own smell. Lavabo inter manus innocentes meas: I wash myself before offering myself to another.

THE RED IRON AND THE GOLDEN RING Spouses separate and divorce more often if they believe they have been united forever. They thought they owned each other, even though marriage today has become a temporary leasing contract. Ownership in marriage is the equivalent of slavery. Here we have the mark again: the ox and the slave are marked with red iron, the automobile by the Ford logo, and the spouse by the golden ring.

Divorce legislation transforms the ancient property right of the husband over the wife, and the converse, into simple joint tenancy. Similarly, adoption defined at the beginning of the Christian era as by—and in— an integrally adoptive Holy Family has become a tenancy. Father and mother can no longer claim to be the owners of their children, even when they are marked by their resemblance or more so by their genes.

ADULTERY Why was love born so recently, according to Denis de Rougemont, from adultery in particular? Because it was liberation from appropriation. Marriage sanctioned property; adulterous love brings freedom from it. If as a result of this form of property fidelity is considered a virtue, then women should boldly practice adultery, which should accordingly be considered virtuous liberation from those chains. The ancient conception of property was the equivalent of servitude.

If obedience considered as a virtue results in another property, you children should boldly disobey and stop thinking you are slaves of your parents' neuroses. Did we really free ourselves from our fathers' ancient right of life and death over us? Did they not wage war to enjoy the spectacle of the children of their rivals killing their own children? To enjoy burying them in their properties, under the triumphal arch of their cities? Am I wrong? No, those old men do not pray on the tomb of their ancestors, but on that of their sacrificed sons.

This fourth end to property—sexual, familial, reproductive, human, and pedagogic—will occur, I dare say, in a fifth, giant contemporary global catastrophe.

RETURNING TO THE ORDER OF THINGS As a preliminary, let me briefly summarise my comments in passing: bodily discharges, that is, urine, manure, or corpses as well as sperm, were used to appropriate places. Animal ethology, anthropology, the history of religions, sexology, the old private right, all confirm this analysis and enable us to understand several forgotten foundations of property rights. Let me remind you that the word pollution, with its religious and medical origin, first meant desecration of places of worship by some excrement, and later the soiling of sheets by ejaculation, usually from masturbation. Although totally forgotten, the evolution of this word will inform the rest of my book.

Let me briefly designate the pattern. Coming from the male body, urine or sperm outlines and founds individual and private belonging on an area thus enclosed, or on one or more consenting and submissive females. The corpses of the ancestors found the area of the pagus or the fields of the farm. Property then passes from a person—or animal—to the family, the tribe. The spilled blood of the victims traces the already public limits of a temple that, so delineated, becomes sacred or taboo. We are dealing here with what characterizes both the god and the city. Henceforth, monuments to the dead will celebrate the shame of the massacre of innocent children by unspeakably cruel fathers, which I call the murder of the sons. They will found the property, now definitely public and collective, of a city, and on a larger scale the nation. The increasing volume of trash or excretions—urine, sperm, blood, corpses . . . —that still are bodily or physiological excretions, marks the extension of appropriated space—nest, farm, city, country—and also the increase in the number of subjects of appropriation—individual, family, nation.

For the rhythm of this increase to stop and then suddenly to change into a vertical spurt engulfing the planet and humanity, it had to go from cemeteries or bodily excretions, subjective or human, to more objective trash: sewage farms, public dumps ... in big cities, industrial waste that is less biodegradable, or world-objects in the world. We have now arrived.

11. Michelet, Amour (Paris: Hachette, 1858), pp. 399-404; emphasis by Michel Serres.

[thatdarnblogagain]

Captain Marvel Review

This...this is awkward. *Ahem* How does one put this gently? The Captain Marvel movie, kind of sucks. Like “oh my gosh this is bad” sucks. That sentiment comes from an objective viewpoint; well as objective a viewpoint one can have after watching whatever Marvel’s, Captain Marvel was.

I paid little attention to the calls for the film to be boycotted or whatever controversy surrounded the lead of the film, Brie Larson. All I wanted was a good film as Marvel is accustomed to delivering. Sadly, I was let down. Why you ask?

.Carol: A tale of Two Leads - One of the biggest problems for me is not the character of Captain Marvel but what Marvel is trying to do with her. It is in some way similar to what happened with Iron Man in his first live action film.

Robert Downy Jr took a C to B list character at best and gave a performance that shot him into the upper echelons of comics. However that was more of an unintentional thing. There was no one saying how great Tony Stark was. We saw this with his ingenuity throughout the film but more than that we saw it by how vulnerable he was by being captured, and left for dead more than once, thus having to learn or rely on others. Why? Because Tony is a genius and he is genius enough to know he needed others to help him in his plight. Yes he has an ego but that falls away when he knows his or others’ lives depend on it. He makes mistakes and comes out of the other side stronger for it. That’s relatable.

In Captain Marvel from the first exchange of dialogue in the movie, we are told how strong Carol is though she is “emotional” (Something we see little of). We have constant scenarios of the character being lauded by others for how brilliant she is, whether as a pilot, warrior or hero. There is no fall for her beyond brief moments of being captured...twice. In each scenario she manages to get away with ease and gain little from either. Yes she “falls” in the movie during montages as Marvel tries to hamfist the idea of rising up into the plot line but Steve Rogers did that already and without needing to hammer it home that this was a Psuedo-motivational moment.

Again let’s look at Tony. In his workshop Tony goes through countless tests to get his suit to fly or do what he wishes and we see him fail before he succeeds. But Tony does not give up! He keeps going till he gets it done and even then, he keeps upgrading his suits for any possible situation because he knows he is not invincible. Anything is possible and he needs to be prepared. Whether this is caution or his need for control it shows us Tony’s mindset which almost seems neurotic at its worst.

Carol...falls from space, closes her eyes and decides to fly. That is a scene meant to be empowering but I instead just groaned. Marvel seems to want us to buy into Carol being the cornerstone of the Marvel Cinematic Universe but I think it can be argued while not nearly as strong as Carol, Black Widow deserves that spot.

(This picture has more charisma than the cast)

.The Attitude - Carol is cocky. Not quite Tony Stark or Namor cocky but she has an ego of sorts. She is a woman who knows she is powerful, knows she has the means to take control and is not afraid of doing so. However she has an attitude of no nonsense but also of being able to empathize with others, such as when Scarlet Witch returned to her senses after the House of M storyline. Carol in her Ms.Marvel guise along with Spider-Woman come to her aid before taking Wanda to the Avengers’ Mansion and in those few pages we see a range of emotions. Joy at seeing her friend. The jubilant yet skilled approach Carol takes to fighting the threats facing them. The pain on her face when Vision turns Wanda, his wife at the time, away.

Those are organic expressions and it hurts to say those pages carry more emotion in them than Brie’s portrayal. It is wooden and has no real character behind it. Yes she is soldier but so is Captain America, Bucky, Falcon and Black Widow. Yes she has amnesia, so did Bucky and in Civil War he still showed the emotion of someone who felt like they could not even trust themselves, worry, fear, wariness of all around him besides Steve. Brie really only has one emotion throughout. Stoic. Stoic in happiness, sadness and anger.

She does stoic well but nothing else. For example, upon realizing all she knows is false, Carol in the movie has no moment of breaking down that others face. T’challa upon seeing his father’s transgression confronts him and completely changes his mindset about aiding the outside.  Charlize Theron as Furiosa in Mad Max - Fury Road upon realizing what she was fighting for all along no longer exists, this bastion of strength walks into the desert, takes off her prosthetic arm and screams into the distance. Carol has none of that besides saying, “I don’t know who I am!!!” which is quickly countered by her friend saying, “You are Carol Danvers....”. And...that’s it. She has a moment at the end where she echoes this and ordeal over. Yup.

.Missed Opportunities - Yon Rogg, Korath, Ronan, Agent Coulson, Mar-Vell and even the Skrulls feel like they were wasted in this movie. Some are glorified cameos and that sucks. Korath especially feels like he could have had backstory to show how he became what he was in Guardians of the Galaxy. Oh and Mar-Vell...what did they do to Mar-Vell!?!? Moving on!

Nick Fury feels like he got some of the worst of it all. Many wanted to see how he got those Scars but the pay off is so bad you wish it was instead a moment better left to our imagination. While it is fun seeing a younger Nick Fury at work with a different attitude to his older self, there seems like he deserved a subplot that paid off the speculation of him losing his eye.

Skrulls + He trusted someone he should not have + Lost an eye = Easy Subplot. Imagine going through a movie with Nick having faith in a character only to see that is not who he thought it was and pays a huge price before painfully having to take that person out? That would have explained the Nick Fury who we know so well.

(Annnnnnnd...lack of common sense starts now)

.Plot Twists - NO! That’s all I will say! NO! I understand trying to subvert expectations but there are some things in the Marvel Universe that should stay as such. This is not like changing, M’Baku to a anti-hero/hero or the Mandarin into an Actor (Who was not even the real Mandarin). This is like taking the Red Skull and making him a hero. It  just does not work. That is all I will say to avoid spoilers.

.What Genre am I? - You know something? Winter Soldier is a Spy Thriller movie. Ant Man, a crime comedy. Thor-Raganarok a Sci-Fi Comedy. None of them are really the same despite being hero flicks. Each has its identity. Each understands what it wants to do. Captain Marvel does not.

It shifts from bad action movie, to bad drama to bad comedy. It is jack of nothing and the ace of nothing. Captain America understood it was a period piece and played up the aspects of this. It was essential but Captain Marvel only has this is spots before the film does away with them.

It is no rite of passage tale like Homecoming was or even Shazam. In those films the heroes fall due to their own errors and must dig themselves out of it, in one case literally. Captain Marvel has none of that. Brie is powerful at the start and becomes more powerful at the end. It has the spy of spies in the MCU, Nick Fury but fails to use him nearly enough.

A depowered Carol, (Thanks to a power cancelling chip on her neck) on the run with Fury trying to understand her past sounds like an amazing prospect, making me want to see her regain her powers after gaining better understanding of how to utilize them. But nope, she whoops ass and will make sure you know. Even if you don’t want to.

(I’m the badass female of the MCU...after Black Widow, Okoye, Shuri, Peggy Carter, Valkyrie, Gamora, Frigga, Pepper Pots, Aunt May, *Aunt May Into the Spider-Verse* Nebula, Sif, Sharon Carter, Nakia, The Ancient One...yeah after all of them!)

Rating: 1 out 5

.Boring Screen Play and action

.Bland Lead

.Misguided attempt at a powerful female lead (Wonder Woman & Furiosa did it far better even if they were flawed as well)

.Convoluted plot

.Goose is awesome and so is Nick Fury.

[hoshinokaabiivevo-blog]

A META KNIGHT’S TALE/META KNIGHT AND THE MYSTERIOUS ECLIPSE

No cover art this time! Might update this later with it.

It was pretty difficult trying to make this game work as a stand-alone, but still have the Kirby charm. That applies to both the storyline and the gameplay, for the record. Any and all criticism is encouraged! Just like with Kirby’s Inferno, this is not meant to be speculation on a future Kirby game, this is solely made for fun! If there ever is a Meta Knight spinoff, you didn’t hear it from me.

STORY

It’s an average peaceful day in Dreamland, and Captain Vul is overseeing the Meta-Knights’ training. They’re all doing pretty well, except for Sailor Dee, who just can’t seem to get a hang of his bow and arrow. Vul is most proud of Meta Knight himself, however, and lauds him when he shuttle-loops a training dummy into stuffing. This exercise is interrupted when a strange meteor crashes down about a mile away, and Sword, Blade, and Meta Knight go off to scope it out.

Upon further inspection, they see that it appears to be a small escape pod of some sort, and there’s a person covered in stars inside of it. Without warning, he bursts from it and lunges at Meta Knight, thrusting a nodachi at his face. They clash for quite some time until Sword and Blade take over, and the other Meta-Knights sans Sailor dogpile on as well. As Meta Knight catches his breath, a small fairy then exits the pod, dazed and weak. She shakes it off, and gasps at the sight before her.

The man manages to break through the barrage of attacks and tries again to strike Meta Knight, but their blades clash and they struggle to maintain their own ground. The fairy girl then yanks the guy away by his ponytail and shows him a picture of a certain spherical hero. It’s actually Kirby, but due to the picture having no color (or any other identification, WTF, Tara?), he believes it to be Meta Knight.

They apologize for attacking and explain themselves. Orion comes from the planet of Aurora Cosmos, which is currently under attack by a mysterious moon-like structure known as the Eclipse Castle. Being the gentlemen that they are (and a little sheepish for attacking an innocent guy), they agree to help him and lead him to the Halberd. Sailor Dee finally hits the target dead on, and Tara cheers him as Axe and Mace guide him into the ship.

Upon reaching Orion’s planet, they can safely affirm that the massive crescent moon-shaped object above the shimmering green planet probably isn’t supposed to be there. I mean, usually, it’s a bad thing when half of the planet’s coated in a gross blackish tar. Landing on the planet proves difficult as well, being that they’re attacked by shapeshifting beasts (which Tara refers to as Morphix) and nearly crash.  

Unfettered, the band of knights marches on through the land, slaying these freakish creatures and saving the natives from a gooey torment. But, something seems to be off about Orion. Even for the Meta-Knights, he seems a bit too aloof and unattached, only focusing on the mission at hand and refusing to take a load off.

This reaches a head when after defeating a massive Morphix that begins ripping the place to shreds, Orion does something obscenely reckless. He nonchalantly leaps off of a cliff, and Meta Knight dives after him, catching him and flying him to safety. When they land, the poor guy is in a state of utter bewilderment at what just happened. Apparently, Orion should be able to fly, and is pretty shocked at his sudden inability.

Later, when the crew is roasting marshmallows around a fire, he stands alone and ponders what could be happening. Much to his horror, the answer is made clear when he sees that the stars on his arms are disappearing. He quickly yanks his arm guards over the now-blank spots to hide them as Meta Knight approaches.

Meta Knight can tell something’s wrong but doesn’t pry; instead silently reassuring him that he’ll be fine if they stick together. They hear a scream of terror and turn to see that Tara’s marshmallow has caught fire, and she’s flying around in a tizzy trying to put it out. Sailor Dee helps her out by chucking it into a pond, which gets everyone to laugh and finally unwind.

Once all the countries of the planet are nice and monsterless, the knights turn their attention to the Eclipse Castle. Something goes horribly wrong when they bring the Halberd to the surface. Not only are they immediately grounded by black spires and crash land, Orion suddenly yells out and collapses, the stars from his body rapidly dissolving. The crew rushes over to him and a tearful Tara reveals that they haven’t been exactly honest with them. 

Many years ago, Orion’s people were cursed by a vengeful and chaotic mage named Pitch Shadow, who threatened to destroy their planet if they did not submit to his will and give him their magical power. Orion knew that going after him alone would mean certain demise, but he didn’t care as long as his planet was safe. It was only with Tara’s urging that he changed his mind and decided to seek out allies.

Orion is true and fully dead. Furious, Meta Knight leaps through the portal to destroy him, the hesitant crew following suit. Inside the Midnight Castle, they find a massive crystal ball chained to the ground with thick glowing chains. Upon breaking it open, they realize their horrible mistake, as it turns out that the chains were what was giving it it’s energy.

Now fully freed, Pitch begins to siphon all the life out of the planet. They’ve got to turn around to the Halberd and use its cannons to shatter the chains before pummeling him into a pulp once more. With the mage blasted into oblivion, the Eclipse Castle itself starts falling to pieces, and they bolt out of there as fast as they can.

The Halberd continues its journey back down to Aurora Cosmos, while both Meta Knight and Tara sadly gaze upon Orion’s body in the sick bay. Meta Knight turns to leave, but something catches his eye outside the window; a vast collection of golden stars has appeared where the Eclipse Castle used to be, and they’re heading right towards the ship.

As they fill the interior, the markings on Orion’s body reappear, and he awakens. Tara is overjoyed, fluttering around him, and cheering as Meta Knight stares in shock. Overcome by emotion, Meta Knight rushes over to him and embraces him, Orion taking it in stride as he pats Meta’s head.

Triumphant, the knights and Orion land to a cheering crowd. Orion’s wings reappear, to which he responds to by challenging Meta Knight to a race. But as the two take off and dart around the city, it becomes less of a competition and more of the two simply having fun! 

GAMEPLAY

Each member has their own personal move set and stats, which can be paired up with another knight to create exclusive moves (and to help with puzzles)

However, they all share one move; they plant their weapon in the ground and clutch onto it, preventing them from being blown away or sucked up by enemies. (ha-ha, wow, that’s dark)

By defeating enemies with combos, you fill up a meter called “boost points”. This gives you the ability to call on Tara so that she can give you extra help with a quick nuzzle or a beam of light from her horn.

These powers include temporary invincibility, stronger attacks, more health, or heightened speed.

Pieces of armor can also show up in hidden crates across various levels, all randomized.

You can mix and match different caps, armor, and weapons, but there are exclusive sets that can permanently boost your stats if completed.

There’s a daily roulette wheel (à la Miitopia) that can give you brand new armor, more boost points, or Maxim Tomatoes.

The game’s map operates the same way that Amazing Mirror’s does, with an open world you can freely move around to which level you’d like and replay them at your leisure. They’re connected all by a central hub in the Halberd, which has a training room and an armory that you can enter at any time.

There’s a boss at the end of every level, not just the worlds! Admittedly, they’re still about the same difficulty as midbosses.

LEVELS

Sable Shores

Tornado Terrace

Energy Expo

Lachrymose Loch

Lit Landing

Ablaze Alcove

Roaring Reaches

Eclipse Castle

Tara’s Dialogue (hub)

(answers to "Greetings.")

You're so cool, Meta Knight! I know you can save us! I-I-I mean, help us.

(post-game) I knew you could do it! Thank you so much for all your aid.

(answers to "Let me see the armory.")

Want to see what armors you've got?

(50% or higher completion) It's getting pretty packed in there! Watch your head!

(100% completion) Brings back memories, doesn't it?

(answer to "I want to try the roulette.")

It's time to play some roulette!

(answers to "What do you think of the crew?")

Captain Vul is astounding! But he's so tall, it scares me a little bit.

Sword Knight is great! His helmet looks like a yummy loaf of bread!

Blade Knight is so brave! He looks up to you a lot, you know.

Mace Knight is so funny! That guy always knows how to cheer me up!

Javelin Knight is very smart! I've never met a robot before!

Axe Knight is so loyal! You two remind me of Orion and me!

Trident Knight is pretty mysterious! But he's good fun!

Sailor Waddle Dee is so cute! ...um, that's all I have to say.

Orion is awe-inspiring! He's my best friend in the whole world!

(answers to "Do you have any advice?")

Have you tried out the training room? It never hurts to brush up on your skills!

Some knights mesh better than others. Try out a bunch of teams and see which works for you!

You should smile more! ...oh, that's not what you meant, is it?

(answers to "Thank you. Goodbye.")

Bye-bye!

It's been a long journey so far. Why not take a rest?

[aion-rsa]

Upcoming Must-See Movies in 2021

https://ift.tt/2LtrBLV

It’s 2021. Finally. If you’re reading this, it means you’ve hopefully gotten through the wreckage of last year unscathed and are ready for a brighter future. And if you’re also a movie lover, this certainly includes a trip (or 20) back to the cinemas. Although a month into the new year, and our hope for a better tomorrow has faded a bit–especially with new COVID variants spreading. Yet there is reason to remain warily optimistic. Yes, including about theaters

For nearly a year now cinemas have remained largely dormant, and given the already shuffling 2021 film calendar, that will continue for the foreseeable future. However, studios (with one notable exception) remain mostly committed to getting new films to the theater this year, and the current 2021 film slate gives reasons to be hopeful.

Indeed, 2021 promises many of the most anticipated films from last year, plus new surprises. From the superhero variety like Black Widow to the art house with Wes Anderson’s The French Dispatch, 2021 could be a much needed respite. So below is just a sampling of what to expect from the year to come…

Judas and the Black Messiah

February 12

It’s kind of hard to wrap one’s head around the annual “Oscar race” in a year when little trophies don’t seem so damn important, but Warner Bros. feels strongly enough about this movie that it’s getting it into theaters and on HBO Max right in the thick of the pandemic-delayed awards season. And judging by the marketing, it’s bringing heat with it.

Shaka King directs and co-writes the story of Fred Hampton (Daniel Kaluuya), who became the chairman of the Illinois chapter of the Black Panther Party in the late 1960s and was murdered in cold blood by police in 1969. LaKeith Stanfield plays William O’Neal, a petty criminal who agreed to help the FBI take Hampton down. This promises to be incendiary, relevant material — and it’s almost here.

Minari

February 12

Lee Isaac Chung directs Steven Yeun–now fully shaking off his years as Glenn on The Walking Dead–in this semi-autobiographical film about a South Korean family struggling to settle down in rural America in the 1980s. Premiering nearly a year ago at the Sundance Film Festival, where it won both the U.S. Dramatic Grand Jury Prize and the U.S. Dramatic Audience Award, Minari had a quick one-week virtual release in December, with a number of critics placing it on their Top 10 lists for 2020.

Its story of immigration and assimilation currently has a perfect 100 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes, with critics lauding its heart, grace, and sensitivity. A few of ours also considered it among 2020’s best.

Nomadland

February 19

Utilizing both actors and real people, director Chloé Zhao (The Rider, Marvel’s upcoming Eternals) chronicles the lives of America’s “forgotten people” as they travel the West searching for work, companionship and community. A brilliant Frances McDormand stars as Fern, a woman in her mid-60s who lost her husband, her house, and her entire previous existence when her town literally vanished following the closure of its sole factory.

Zhao’s film quietly flows from despair to optimism and back to despair again, the hardscrabble lives of its itinerant cast (many of them actual nomads) foregrounded against often stunning–if lonely–vistas of the vast, empty American countryside.

I Care a Lot

February 19

A solid cast, led by Rosamund Pike, Peter Dinklage, Chris Messina, and Dianne Wiest, star in this satirical crime drama from director J. Blakeson (The Disappearance of Alice Creed). Pike plays Marla, a con artist whose scam is getting herself named legal guardian of her elderly marks and then draining their assets while sticking them in nursing homes. She’s ruthless and efficient at it, until she meets a woman (Wiest) whose ties to a crime boss (Dinklage) may prove too much of a challenge for the wily Marla. It was one of our favorites out of Toronto last year.

The Father

February 26

Anthony Hopkins gives a mesmerizing, and deeply tragic, performance as Anthony, an elderly British man whose descent into dementia is reflected by the film itself, which plays with time, setting, and continuity until both Anthony and the viewer can no longer tell what is real and what is not. Olivia Colman is equally moving as his daughter, who wants to get on with her own life even as she watches her father’s disintegrate in front of her.

We saw The Father last year at the AFI Fest and it ended up being a favorite of 2020; Hopkins is unforgettable in this bracing, heartbreaking work, which is stunningly adapted by first-time director Florian Zeller from his own award-winning play.

Chaos Walking

March 5

This constantly postponed sci-fi project has become one of those “we’ll believe it when we see it” films until it actually comes out. Shot nearly three and a half years ago by director Doug Liman, Chaos Walking has undergone extensive reshoots and was at one point reportedly deemed unreleasable.

Based on the book The Knife of Letting Go, it places Tom Holland (Spider-Man: Far From Home) and Daisy Ridley (The Rise of Skywalker) on a distant planet where Ridley, the only woman, can hear the thoughts of all the men due to a mysterious force called the Noise.

Raya and the Last Dragon

March 5

Longtime Walt Disney Animation Studios head of story, Paul Briggs (Frozen), will make his directorial debut on this original Disney animated fantasy, which draws upon Eastern traditions to tell the tale of a young warrior who goes searching for the world’s last dragon in the mysterious land of Kumandra. Cassie Steele will voice Raya while Awkwafina (The Farewell) will portray Sisu the dragon.

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Coming 2 America

March 5

The notion of whether nostalgia-based properties are still viable has cropped up repeatedly in the last few years. However, streaming, which is where Coming 2 America finds itself headed post-COVID, makes golden oldies much safer. This sequel—based on a 32-year-old comedy that was one of Eddie Murphy’s most financially successful hits—sees Murphy back as Prince Akeem, of course, along with Arsenio Hall returning as his loyal friend Semmi.

The plot revolves around Akeem’s discovery, just as he is about to be crowned king, that he has a long-lost son living in the States (we’re not sure how that happened, but let’s just go with it). That, of course, necessitates another visit to our shores—that is, if Akeem and Semmi presumably don’t get stopped at the border. The film reunites Murphy with Dolemite is My Name director Craig Brewer, so perhaps they can make some cutting-edge social comedy out of this?

Godzilla vs. Kong

March 26

Here we are, at last at the big punch up between Godzilla and King Kong. They both wear a crown, but in the film that Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures have been building toward since 2014, only one can walk away with the title of the king of all the monsters.

Admittedly, not everyone loved the last American Godzilla movie, Godzilla: King of the Monsters, but we sure did. Still, Godzilla vs. Kong should be a different animal with Adam Wingard (You’re Next, The Guest) taking over directorial duties. It also has a stacked cast with some familiar faces (Kyle Chandler, Millie Bobby Brown, and Ziyi Zhang) and plenty of new ones (Alexander Skarsgård, Eiza González, Danai Gurira, Lance Reddick, and more).

It’ll probably be better than the original, right? And hey with its HBO Max rollout, questions of a poor box office run sure are conveniently mooted!

Mortal Kombat

April 16

Not to be deterred by the relative failure of Sony’s Monster Hunter in theaters at the tail end of 2020, Warner Bros. is giving this venerable video game franchise another shot at live-action cinematic glory after two previous tries in the 1990s. Director Simon McQuoid makes his feature debut while the script comes from Dave Callaham (Wonder Woman 1984, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) and the cast includes a number of actors you’ve seen in other films but can’t quite place.

The plot? Who knows! But we’re guessing it will feature gods, demons, and warriors battling for control of the 18 realms in various fighting tournaments. What else do you want?

Black Widow

May 7

Some would charitably say it arrives a decade late, but Black Widow is finally getting her own movie. This is fairly remarkable considering she became street pizza in Avengers: Endgame, but this movie fits snugly between the events of Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War. It also promises to be the most pared down Marvel Studios movie since 2014’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and that’s a good thing.

In the film, Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha Romanoff is on the run after burning her bridges with the U.S. government and UN. This brings her back to the spy games she thought she’d escaped from her youth, and back in the orbit of her “sister” Yelena (Florence Pugh). Old wounds are ripped open, old Soviet foes, including David Harbour as the Red Guardian and Rachel Weisz as Nat and Yelena’s girlhood instructor, are revealed, and many a fight sequence with minimal CGI will be executed.

How’s that for a real start to Phase 4? Of course that’s still assuming this comes out before The Eternals after it was delayed, again, due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Those Who Wish Me Dead

May 14

Taylor Sheridan is among the best writers in moviemaking right now. Having all but cornered the niche around modern Westerns, he’s responsible for the scripts for Hell or High Water, both Sicarios, and Wind River, the latter of which he also directed. He’s back in the director’s chair again for Those Who Wish Me Dead, which has been described as a “female-driven neo-Western” set in the Montana wilderness. It is there a teenager witnesses a murder, and he finds himself on the run from twin assassins, and in need of protection from a likely paranoid survivalist. The film stars Angelina Jolie, Jon Bernthal, Nicholas Hoult, Tyler Perry, Aidan Gillen, Jake Weber, and Finn Little.

Spiral

May 21

Chris Rock has co-written the story for a new take on the Saw franchise. Never thought we’d write those words! The fact that it also stars Rock, as well as Samuel L. Jackson, is likewise head-turning. It looks like they’re going for legitimate horror with Darren Lynn Bousman attached to direct after helming three of the Saw sequels, and its grisly pre-COVID trailer from last year.

Hopefully this will be better than most of the franchise that came before, and given the heavily David Fincher-influenced tone of the first trailer, we’re willing to cross our fingers and play this game.

Free Guy

May 21

What would you do if you discovered that you were just a background character in an open world video game—and that the game was soon about to go offline? That’s the premise of this existential sci-fi comedy from director Shawn Levy, best known for the Night at the Museum series and as an executive producer and director on Stranger Things. Ryan Reynolds stars as Guy, a bank teller who discovers that his life is not what he thought it was, and in fact isn’t even real—or is it? We’ve seen a preview of footage, so we’d suggest you think Truman Show, if Truman was trapped in Grand Theft Auto.

F9

May 28

Just when you thought this never-say-die franchise had shown us everything it could possibly dream up, it ups the stakes one more time: the ninth entry in the Fast and Furious saga (excluding 2019’s Hobbs and Shaw) will reportedly take Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his cohorts into space as they battle Dom’s long-lost brother Jakob (John Cena, making a long-overdue debut in this series). Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Jordana Brewster, Helen Mirren, and Charlize Theron all also return, as does director Justin Lin, who took a two-film break from his signature series. Expect to see the required physics-defying stunts, logic-defying action and even more talk about “family” than usual.

Cruella

May 28

Since Disney has already made an animated 101 Dalmatians in 1961 and a live-action remake in 1996, it is apparently time to tell the story again Maleficent-style. Hence we now focus on the viewpoint of iconic villainess Cruella de Vil, played this time by Emma Stone. She’s joined in the movie by Emma Thompson, Paul Walter Hauser, and Mark Strong, with direction handled by Craig Gillespie (sort of a step down from 2017’s I, Tonya, if you ask us).

The story has been updated to the 1970s, but Cruella–now a fashion designer–still covets the fur of dogs for her creations. This is a Mouse House joint, so don’t expect it to get too dark, and don’t be completely surprised if it ends up as a premium on Disney+ in lieu of its already delayed theatrical release.

Infinite

May 28

This sci-fi yarn from director Antoine Fuqua (The Equalizer) stars Mark Wahlberg as a man experiencing what he thinks are hallucinations, but which turn out to be memories from past lives. He soon learns that there is a secret society of people just like him, except that they have total recall of their past identities and have acted to change the course of history throughout the centuries.

Based on the novel The Reincarnationist Papers by D. Eric Maikranz, this was originally a post-Marvel vehicle for Chris Evans. He dropped out, and the combination of Fuqua and Wahlberg hints at something more action-oriented than the rather cerebral premise suggests. The film also stars Sophie Cookson, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Dylan O’Brien.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

June 4

James Wan is already directing a new horror film this year so he’s stepping away from the directorial duties on the third film based on the paranormal investigations of Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga). That task has fallen to Michael Chaves (The Curse of La Llorona), so expect plenty of the same Wan Universe touches: heavy atmosphere, superb use of sound, and shocking, eerie visuals.

Details are scarce, but the plot—like the other two Conjuring films—is taken from the true-life case of a man who went on trial for murder and said as his defense that he was possessed by a demon when he committed his crimes. That’s all we know for now, except that, intriguingly, Mitchell Hoog and Megan Ashley Brown have been cast as younger versions of the Warrens.

In the Heights

June 18

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first Broadway hit musical gets the big screen treatment (by way of HBO Max) from director Jon M. Chu (Crazy Rich Asians). Set in Washington Heights over the course of a three-day heat wave, the plot and ensemble cast carry echoes of both Rent and Do the Right Thing. While a success on the stage—if not quite the cultural phenomenon that Miranda’s next show, Hamilton—it remains to be seen whether In the Heights can strike a chord with streaming audiences.

Luca

June 18

Continuing its current run of all-new, non-sequel original films started in 2020 with Onward and Soul, Pixar will unveil Luca this summer. Directed by Enrico Casarosa–making his feature debut after 18 years with the animation powerhouse–the film tells the story of a friendship between a human being and a sea monster (disguised as another human child) on the Italian Riviera. That’s about all we have on it for now, except that the cast includes Drake Bell and John Ratzenberger.

Pixar’s recent track record has included masterpieces like Inside Out, solid sequels like Toy Story 4, and shakier propositions like The Incredibles 2, but we don’t have any indication yet of what to expect from Luca.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

June 25

Can anyone honestly say that 2018’s Venom was a “good” movie? A batshit insane movie, yes, and perhaps even an entertaining one in its own nutty way, but good or not, it made nearly a billion bucks at the box office so here we are.

Tom Hardy will return to peel more scenery down with his teeth as both Eddie Brock and his fanged, towering alien symbiote while Woody Harrelson will fulfill his destiny and play Cletus Kasady, aka Carnage, the perfected hybrid of psychopathic serial killer and red pile of vicious alien goo. Let the carnage begin!

Top Gun: Maverick

July 2

It’s been 34 years since Tom Cruise first soared through the skies as hotshot pilot Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, and he’ll take to the air once more in a sequel that also features Val Kilmer, Jennifer Connelly, Miles Teller, Jon Hamm, and more. The flying and action sequences from director Joseph Kosinski (who worked with Cruise on Oblivion) will undoubtedly be first-rate, but the studio (Paramount) has to be nervous after seeing one nostalgia-based franchise after another (Blade Runner, Charlie’s Angels, Terminator, The Shining) crash and burn recently.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

July 10

With Shang-Chi, Marvel Studios hopes to do for Asian culture what the company did with the groundbreaking Black Panther nearly three years ago: create another superhero epic with a non-white lead and a mythology steeped in a non-Western culture. Simu Liu stars in the title role as the “master of kung fu,” who must do battle with the nefarious Ten Rings organization and its leader, the Mandarin (the “real” one, not the imposter from Iron Man 3, played here by the legendary Tony Leung). Director Destin Daniel Cretton (Just Mercy) will open up a whole new corner of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with this story and character, whose origins stretch back to 1973.

The Forever Purge

July 9

One day nearly eight years ago, you went to see a low-budget dystopian sci-fi/horror flick called The Purge, and the next thing you know, it’s 2021 and you’re getting ready to see the fifth and allegedly final entry in the series (which has also spawned a TV show). Written by creator James DeMonaco and directed by Everardo Gout, the film will once again focus on the title event, an annual 12-hour national bacchanal in which all crime, even murder, is legal. How this ends the story, and where and when it falls into the context of the rest of the films, remains a secret for now. Filming was completed back in February 2020, with the film’s release delayed from last summer by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Space Jam: A New Legacy

July 16

There are two types of folks when it comes to the original Space Jam of 1996: those who were between the ages of three and 11 when it came out, and everyone else. In one camp it is an unsightly relic of ‘90s cross-promotional cheese; in the other, it’s a sports movie classic. Luckily for kids today, NBA star LeBron James was 11 for most of ’96, and he’s bringing back the hoops and the Looney Tunes in Space Jam: A New Legacy.

The film will be among the many Warner Bros. pics premieres on HBO Max and in theaters this year, and it will see King James share above-the-title credits with Bugs Bunny. All is as it should be.

The Tomorrow War

July 23

An original IP attempting to be a summer blockbuster? As we live and breathe. The Tomorrow War marks director Chris McKay’s first foray into live-action after helming The Lego Batman Movie. The film stars Chris Pratt as a soldier from the past who’s been “drafted by scientists” to the present in order to fight off an alien invasion overwhelming our future’s military. One might ask why said scientists didn’t use their fancy-schmancy time traveling shenanigans to warn about the impending aliens, but here we are.

Jungle Cruise

July 30

Disney dips into its theme park rides again as a source for a movie, hoping that the Pirates of the Caribbean lightning will strike once more. This time it’s the famous Adventureland riverboat ride, which is free enough of a real narrative that one has to wonder why some five screenwriters (at least) worked on the movie’s script.

Jaume Collet-Serra (The Shallows) directs stars Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt down this particular river, as they battle wild animals and a competing expedition in their search for a tree with miraculous healing powers. The comic chemistry between Johnson and Blunt is key here, especially if they really can mimic Bogie and Hepburn in the similarly plotted The African Queen. If they can sell that, Disney might just have a new water-based franchise to replace their sinking Pirates ship.

The Green Knight

July 30

David Lowery, the singular director behind A Ghost Story and The Old Man & the Gun, helmed a fantasy adaptation of the Arthurian legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. And his take on the material was apparently strong enough to entice A24 to produce it. Not much else is yet known about the film other than its cast, which includes Dev Patel, Alicia Vikander, Ralph Ineson, and Kate Dickie–and that it’s another casualty of COVID, with its 2020 release date being delayed last year. So this is one we’re definitely going to keep an eye on.

The Suicide Squad

August 6

Arguably the most high-profile of the WB films being transitioned to HBO Max, The Suicide Squad is James Gunn’s soft-reboot of the previous one-film franchise. It’s kind of funny WB went in that direction when the first movie generated more than $740 million, but when the reviews and word of mouth were that toxic… well, you get the guy who did Guardians of the Galaxy to fix things.

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Elements from the original movie are still here, most notably Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn and Viola Davis’ Amanda Waller, but the film promises to be weirder, meaner, and also sillier. The first points are proven by its expected R-rating, and the latter is underscored by its giant talking Great White Shark. Okay, we’ll bite.

Deep Water

August 13

Seedy erotic thrillers and neo noirs bathed in shadows and sex are largely considered a thing of the past—specifically 1980s and ‘90s Hollywood cinema. Maybe that’s why Deep Water hooked Adrian Lyne (Fatal Attraction, Indecent Proposal) to direct. The throwback is based on a 1957 novel by the legendary Patricia Highsmith (The Talented Mr. Ripley), and it pits a disenchanted married couple against each other, with the bored pair playing mind games that leave friends and acquaintances dead. That the couple in question is played by Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas, who’ve since become a real life item, will probably get plenty of attention close to release.

Respect

August 13

Respect is the long-awaited biopic of the legendary Aretha Franklin, with the Queen of Soul herself involved in its development for years until her death in August 2018. Authorized biopics always make one wonder how accurate the film will be, but then again, Aretha had nothing to be ashamed of. Hers was a life well-lived, her voice almost beyond human comprehension, and the only thing now is to see whether star Jennifer Hudson (Franklin’s personal choice) and director Liesl Tommy (making her feature debut) can do the Queen justice.

The King’s Man

August 20

This might be a weird thing to say: but has World War I ever seemed so stylish? It is with Matthew Vaughn at the helm.

An origin story of sorts for the organization that gave us Colin Firth and the umbrella, The King’s Man is a father and son yarn where Ralph Fiennes’ Duke of Oxford is reluctant about his son Conrad (Harris Dickinson) joining the war effort. But they’ll both be up to it as the Duke launches an intelligence gathering agency independent from any government. It also includes Gemma Arterton, Matthew Goode, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as charter members.

Oh, and did we mention they fight Rasputin?

Candyman

August 27

In some ways it’s surprising that it’s taken this long—28 years, notwithstanding a couple of sequels—to seriously revisit the original Candyman. Director Bernard Rose’s original adaptation of the Clive Baker story, “The Forbidden,” is still relevant and effective today. Back then, the film touched on urban legends, poverty, and segregation: themes that are still ripe for exploration through a genre touchstone today.

After her breathtaking feature directorial debut, Little Woods, Nia DaCosta helmed this bloody reboot while working from a screenplay co-written by Jordan Peele (Get Out). That’s a powerful combination, even before news came down DaCosta was helming Captain Marvel 2. And with an actor on-the-cusp of mega-stardom, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, picking up Tony Todd’s gnarly hook, this is one to watch out for.

The Beatles: Get Back

August 27

Peter Jackson seems to enjoy making films about what inspired him in his youth: The Lord of the Rings, King Kong, his grandfather’s World War I service informing They Shall Not Grow Old. So perhaps it was inevitable he’d make a film about the greatest youth icon of his generation, the Beatles. In truth, The Beatles: Get Back is a challenge to a previous documentary named Let It Be, and the general pop culture image it painted.

That 1970 doc by Michael Lindsay-Hogg zeroed in on the band’s final released album, Let It Be (although it was recorded before Abbey Road). Now, using previously unseen footage, Jackson seeks to challenge the narrative that the album was created entirely from a place of animosity among the bandmates, or that the Beatles had long lost their camaraderie by the end of road. Embracing the original title of the album, “Get Back,” Jackson wants to get back to where he thinks the band’s image once belonged.

Resident Evil

September 3

Let’s try that again. As one of the most popular video game franchises of all-time, the original handful of Resident Evil games appeared ready made for adaptation. Visibly inspired by cult classic zombie movies from George Romero, Resident Evil once even had Romero attached. Instead we got the deafeningly dull Paul W.S. Anderson franchise starring Milla Jovovich. And those decade-spanning monstrosities lacked something any self-respecting zombie film needs: brains.

Now Resident Evil is back in a reboot helmed by writer-director Johannes Roberts. And he’s off to a promising start by apparently focusing on the plots of the first several video games in the series. The cast includes Hannah John-Kamen as Jill Valentine, Robbie Amell as Chris Redfield, Kaya Scodelario as Claire Redfield, Avan Jogia as Leon S. Kennedy, and Tom Hopper as Albert Wesker. So far so good. Fingers crossed.

A Quiet Place Part II

September 17

The sequel to one of 2018’s biggest surprises, A Quiet Place Part II comes with major expectations. And few may hold it to a higher standard than writer-director John Krasinski. Despite (spoiler) the death of his character in the first film, Krasinski returns behind the camera for the sequel after saying he wouldn’t. The story he came up with apparently was too good to pass up.

The film again stars Emily Blunt as the often silenced mother of a vulnerable family, which includes son Marcus (Noah Jupe) and deaf daughter Regan (Millicent Simmonds). However, now that they know how to kill the eagle-eared alien monsters who’ve taken over their planet, the cast has grown to include Cillian Murphy and Djimon Hounsou. While the film has been delayed due to the coronavirus outbreak, trust us that it’ll be worth the wait. Is it finally time for… resistance?

Death on the Nile

September 17

Murder on the Orient Express (2017) became a surprise hit for director and star Kenneth Branagh. Who knew that audiences would still be interested in an 83-year-old mystery novel about an eccentric Belgian detective with one hell of a mustache? Luckily, Agatha Christie featured Poirot in some 32 other novels, of which Death on the Nile is one of the most famous, so here we are.

Branagh once again directs and stars as Poirot, this time investigating a murder aboard a steamer sailing down Egypt’s famous river. The cast includes Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Letitia Wright, Tom Bateman, Ali Fazal, Annette Bening, Rose Leslie, and Russell Brand. Expect more lavish locales, scandalous revelations, the firing of a pistol or two, and, yes, more shots of that stunning Poirot facial hair.

The Many Saints of Newark

September 24

The idea of a prequel to anything always fills us with trepidation, and re-opening a nearly perfect property like The Sopranos makes the prospect even less appetizing. But Sopranos creator David Chase has apparently wanted to explore the back history of his iconic crime family for some time, and there certainly seems to be a rich tapestry of characters and events that have only been hinted at in the series.

Directed by series veteran Alan Taylor (Thor: The Dark World), The Many Saints of Newark stars Alessandro Nivola as Dickie Moltisanti (Christopher’s father), along with Jon Bernthal, Vera Farmiga, Corey Stoll, Ray Liotta, and others. But the most fascinating casting is that of Michael Gandolfini—James’ son—as the younger version of the character with which his late dad made pop culture history. For that alone, we’ll be there on opening night… even if that just means HBO Max!

Dune

October 1

Could third time be the charm for Frank Herbert’s complex novel of the far future, long acknowledged as one of the greatest—if most difficult to read—milestones in all of science fiction? David Lynch’s 1984 version was, to be charitable, an honorable mess, while the 2000 Sci-Fi Channel miniseries was decent and faithful, but limited in scope. Now director Denis Villeneuve (Blade Runner 2049, Arrival) is pulling out all the stops—even breaking the story into two movies to give the proper space.

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On the surface, the plot is simple: as galactic powers vie for control of the only planet that produces a substance capable of allowing interstellar flight, a young messiah emerges to lead that planet’s people to freedom. But this tale is dense with multiple layers of politics, metaphysics, mysticism, and hard science.

Villeneuve has assembled a jaw-dropping cast, including Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Josh Brolin, Stellan Skarsgård, Dave Bautista, Zendaya, Charlotte Rampling, Jason Momoa, and Javier Bardem, and if he pulls this off, just hand him every sci-fi novel ever written. Particularly, if relations between the director and WB remain strained…

No Time to Die

October 8

Nothing lasts forever, and the Daniel Craig era of James Bond is coming to an end… hopefully in 2021. In fact, delays notwithstanding, it’s a bit of a surprise Craig is getting an official swan song with this movie after the star said he’d rather “slash his wrists” before doing another one. Well, we’re glad he didn’t, just as we’re hopeful for his final installment in the tuxedo.

Director Cary Joji Fukunaga is a newcomer to the franchise, but that might be a good thing after how tired Spectre felt, and Fukunaga has done sterling work in the past on True Detective and Maniac. He also looks to bring the curtain down on the whole Craig oeuvre by picking up on the last movie’s lingering threads, such as 007 driving off into the sunset with Léa Seydoux’s Madeleine Swann, while introducing new ones that include Rami Malek as Bond villain Safin and Ana de Armas as new Bond girl Paloma. Yay for the Knives Out reunion!

Halloween Kills

October 15

2018’s outstanding reboot of the long-running horror franchise—which saw David Gordon Green (Stronger) direct Jamie Lee Curtis in a reprise of her most famous role—was a tremendous hit. So in classic Halloween fashion, two more sequels were put into production (the second, Halloween Ends, will be out in 2022… hopefully).

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Curtis is back as Laurie Strode, along with Judy Greer as her daughter, Andi Matichak as her granddaughter, and Nick Castle sharing Michael Myers duties with James Jude Courtney. Kyle Richards and Charles Cyphers, meanwhile, will reprise their roles as Lindsey Wallace and former sheriff Leigh Brackett from the original 1978 Halloween (Anthony Michael Hall will play the adult version of Tommy Doyle). The plot remains a mystery, but we’re pretty sure it will involve yet another confrontation between Laurie and a rampaging Myers.

The Last Duel

October 15

What was once among the most anticipated films of 2020, The Last Duel is the historical epic prestige project marked by reunions: Ridley Scott returns to his passion for period drama and violence; Matt Damon and Ben Affleck work together for the first time in ages as both actors and writers; and the film also unites each with themes that were just as potent in the medieval world as today: One knight (Damon) in King Charles VI’s court accuses another who’s his best friend (Adam Driver) of raping his wife (Jodie Comer). Oh, and Affleck plays the King of France.

With obviously harrowing—and uncomfortable—themes that resonate today, The Last Duel is based on an actual trial by combat from the 14th century, and is a film Affleck and Damon co-wrote with Nicole Holofcener (Can You Ever Forgive Me?). It’s strong material, and could prove to be one of the year’s most riveting or misjudged films. Until then, it has our full attention.

Last Night in Soho

October 22

Fresh off the success of 2017’s Baby Driver (his biggest commercial hit to date), iconoclastic British director Edgar Wright returns with what is described as a psychological and possibly time-bending horror thriller set in London. Whether this features Wright’s trademark self-aware humor remains to be seen, but since the film is said to be inspired by dread-inducing genre classics like Repulsion and Don’t Look Now, he might be going for a different effect this time.

The cast, of course, is outstanding: upstarts Anya Taylor-Joy (Queen’s Gambit) and Thomasin McKenzie (Jojo Rabbit) will face off with Matt Smith (Doctor Who), and British legends Diana Rigg and Terence Stamp. And the truth is we’re never going to miss one of Wright’s movies. Taylor-Joy talked to us here about finding her 1960s lounge singer voice for the film.

Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

October 22

While the idea of a Hasbro Movie Universe seems to be kind of idling at the moment, corners of that hypothetical cinematic empire remain active. One such brand is G.I. Joe, which will launch its first spin-off in this origin story of one of the team’s most popular characters. Much of his early background remains mysterious, so there’s room to create a fairly original story while incorporating lore and characters already established in the G.I. Joe mythos.

Neither of the previous G.I. Joe features (The Rise of Cobra and Retaliation) have been much good, so we can probably expect the same level of quality from this one. Director Robert Schwentke (the last two Divergent movies) doesn’t inspire much excitement either. On the other hand, Henry Golding (Crazy Rich Asians) will star in the title role, and having Iko Uwais (The Raid) and Samara Weaving (Ready or Not) on board isn’t too bad either.

Antlers

October 29

Dramatic director Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart, Hostiles) is doing a horror movie. As we live and breathe. And he’s doing it with a huge boost of confidence from Guillermo del Toro, who has opted to produce the movie. Antlers is the tale of two adult brothers, one a teacher and the other a sheriff, getting wrapped up in a supernatural quagmire that involves a young student and a “dangerous secret.” And with a cast that includes Jesse Plemons, Keri Russell, and Graham Greene, we are very intrigued… even if we must wait once again due to a coronavirus delay.

Eternals

November 5

Based on a Marvel Comics series by the legendary Jack Kirby, the now long-forthcoming Eternals centers around an ancient race of powerful beings who must protect the Earth against their destructive counterparts (and genetic cousins), the Deviants. Director Chloe Zhao (fresh off the awards season buzzy Nomadland) takes her first swing at epic studio filmmaking, working with a cast that includes Angelina Jolie, Gemma Chan, Kit Harington, Salma Hayek, Richard Madden, Brian Tyree Henry, and more.

Read more

Movies

Upcoming Marvel Movies Release Dates: MCU Phase 4 Schedule, Cast, and Story Details

By Mike Cecchini and 1 other

Movies

The Incredible Hulk’s Diminished Legacy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

By Gavin Jasper

In many ways, Eternals represents another huge creative risk for Marvel Studios: It’s a big, cosmic ensemble film introducing an ensemble that the vast majority of the public has never heard of. But then, it’s sort of in the same position as Guardians of the Galaxy from way back in 2014, and we all know what happened there.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

November 11

With the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot criticized (fairly) for its lack of imagination and castigated (unfairly as hell) for its all-female ghost-hunting crew, director Jason Reitman–finally cashing in on the family name by returning to the brand his dad Ivan directed to glory in 1984–has crafted a direct sequel to the original films.

Set 30 years later, Afterlife follows a family who move to a small town only to discover that they have a long-secret connection to the OG Ghostbusters. Carrie Coon (The Leftovers), Finn Wolfhard (Stranger Things) and Paul Rudd (Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania) star alongside charter cast members Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, and, yes, Bill Murray.

King Richard

November 19

Will Smith’s King Richard promises to be a different kind of biographical film coming down the pipe. Rather than being told from the vantage of professional tennis playing stars Venus and Serena Williams, King Richard centers on their father and coach, Richard Williams. It’s an interesting choice to focus on the male father instead of the game-changing Black daughters, but we’ll see if there’s a strong creative reason for the approach soon enough. The film is directed by Reinaldo Marcus Green (Monsters and Men, Joe Bell).

Mission: Impossible 7

November 19

Once upon a time, the appeal of the Mission: Impossible movies was to see different directors offer their own take on Tom Cruise running through death-defying stunts. But then Christopher McQuarrie had to come along and make the best one in franchise history (twice). First there was Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation and then Mission: Impossible – Fallout. Now McQuarrie and company have set up their own separate quartet of films with recurring original characters like new franchise MVP Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) across four films.

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Movies

Audio Surfaces of Tom Cruise Raging on the Set of Mission: Impossible 7

By Kirsten Howard

Movies

Mission: Impossible 7 – What’s Next for the Franchise?

By David Crow

Thus enters M:I7, the third McQuarrie joint in the series and first half of a pair of incoming sequels filmed together. The first-half of this two-parter sees the whole crew back together, including Cruise’s Ethan Hunt, Ilsa, Benji (Simon Pegg), Luther (Ving Rhames), and CIA Director Erika Sloane (Angela Bassett). They’re also being joined by Hayley Atwell and Pom Klementieff, but really we’re all just eager to see what kind of insane stunts they can do to top the HALO jump in the last one.

Nightmare Alley

December 3

Director Guillermo del Toro is finally back with a film which was originally intended for release in 2020. But like so many others, Nightmare Alley saw its production frozen due to the coronavirus. Del Toro’s first film since winning the Best Picture Oscar for The Shape of Water, Nightmare adapts William Lindsay Gresham’s novel of the same name. With a script by Kim Morgan and del Toro, it tracks a mid-20th century carny played by Bradley Cooper who is also a silver-tongued grifter. But his con meets its match (and is then outclassed) by his chance encounter with a psychiatrist (Cate Blanchett). They’ll make a hell of a team.

West Side Story

December 10

Steven Spielberg has just two remakes on his directorial resume: Always (1989) and War of the Worlds (2005). While the former is mostly forgotten and the latter was an adaptation of a story that has been filmed many times, his upcoming reimagining of West Side Story will undoubtedly be directly compared to Robert Wise’s iconic 1961 screen version of this classic musical.

A few numbers in previous films aside, Spielberg has never directed a full-blown musical before, let alone one associated with such powerhouse songs and dance numbers. His version, with a script by Tony Kushner, is said to stay closer to the original Broadway show than the 1961 film—but with its themes of love struggling to cross divides created by hate and bigotry, don’t be surprised if it’s just as hard-hitting in 2021. Certainly would’ve devastated last year….

Spider-Man 3

December 17

Sony has finally gotten to a “Spider-Man 3” again in their oft-rebooted franchise crown jewel (technically though this film is still untitled). That proved to be a stumbling block the first time it occurred with Tobey Maguire in the red and blues, but the company seems undaunted since Tom Holland’s third outing is expected to bring Maguire back—him and just about everyone else too.

Read more

Movies

Spider-Man 3: Charlie Cox Daredevil Return Would Redeem the Marvel Netflix Universe

By Joseph Baxter

Movies

Spider-Man 3 Adds Benedict Cumberbatch’s Doctor Strange

By Joseph Baxter

With a multiverse plot ripped straight from the arguably best Spidey movie ever, 2018’s Into the Spider-Verse, Holland’s third outing is bringing back Maguire, Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man, Alfred Molina as Doc Ock, Jamie Foxx as Electro (eh), and probably more. It’s a Spidey crossover extravaganza that’s only missing a Spider-Ham. But just you wait…

The Matrix 4

December 22

Rebooting or continuing The Matrix series has always been a tough proposition. While the original Matrix film is one of the landmark achievements in science fiction and early digital effects filmmaking in the 1990s, its sequels were… less celebrated. In fact, directors Lily and Lana Wachowski were publicly wary about the idea of ever going back to the series. And yet, here we are with Lana (alone) helming a project that’s been a longtime priority for Warner Bros.

Read more

Movies

The Matrix 4: Laurence Fishburne “Wasn’t Invited” to Reprise Morpheus Role

By John Saavedra

Movies

The Matrix 4 Already Happened: Revisiting The Matrix Online

By John Saavedra

The Matrix 4 also brings back Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Jada Pinkett Smith. This is curious since Reeves and Moss’ characters died at the end of the Matrix trilogy—and also because Laurence Fishburne’s Morpheus did not, yet he wasn’t asked back. We cannot say we’re thrilled about the prospect of more adventures in Zion after the disappointment of the first two sequels, but we’d be lying if we didn’t admit we’re still curious to see the story that brought Lana back to this future.

The French Dispatch

TBA

Wes Anderson has a new film coming out. Better still, it is another live-action film. While Anderson’s use of animation is singular, it’s been seven years since The Grand Budapest Hotel, which we maintain is one of the best movies of the last decade. Anderson  is working with Timothée Chalamet and Cristoph Waltz for the first time with this film, as well as several familiar faces including Saoirse Ronan, Willem Dafoe, Tilda Swinton, Léa Seydoux, Adrien Brody, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and, of course, Bill Murray.

The French Dispatch is set deep in the 20th century during the peak of modern journalism, it brings to life a series of fictional stories in a fictional magazine, published in a fictional French city. We suspect though, if Anderson’s last two live-action movies are any indication, it’ll have more than fiction on its mind–especially since it’s inspired by actual New Yorker stories, and the journalists who wrote them! We missed it in 2020, so here’s hoping it really does go to print in 2021!

Other interesting movies that may come out in 2021 but do not yet have release dates: Next Goal Wins, Don’t Worry Darling, Blonde, The Northman, Resident Evil, Red Notice, Army of the Dead.

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The post Upcoming Must-See Movies in 2021 appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3qz9uDe

[too-scared-to-do-this]

The whole friend group :D

1. Lils sleeping soundly :3 - the best thing you have ever met according to Mateo. She’s the sweetest being in the whole wide world. The sass is there, of course, sarcasm and everything, but she would drop anything to help anyone that needs it. (Literally - she once dropped a full cup of coffee and ran over to an old lady to help her stand up when she fell.) She’s a theater geek of course. The queen of the stage, but don’t you dare point a camera on her or she’ll freeze up. 

She love’s life more then almost anything (except her little family she’s created) and is down for almost anything. Mainly because her grandfather once told her “You should always do what you’re afraid of.” And she’s afraid of pretty much everything with her Anxiety. But she fights it with everything she has. Mateo and the girls help a lot actually. On good days she’s invincible. On bad days she stays cooped up on her couch with a cup of warm coco or tea and Mateo by her side.

2. Koby and Sebby - they’ve been Lilian’s friends for most of her life. Got together a year or so back and been going strong since. Koby is the kind of girl that love’s sports, could walk around without a bra in almost anything (Sebby doesn’t let her if it’s see through) and would do anything to protect the ones she loves. Take’s Sebby everywhere her little heart desires and would give her the world if it’d bring a smile to Sebby’s cheeks. Dramatic as hell. Laud and love’s a good party (though she wouldn’t drink if her life depended on it) // Sebby on the other hand is much more quiet. She love’s art. Has a beautiful singing voice Koby could listen to for days without getting sick of it. She doesn’t know how to express her love in words. She’s not good with that... So she shows it with attentive gifts - that not many would puck up on the fact that Koby actually wanted (”You mentioned it once last year...”), going out of her comfort zone for her, listening and being there. She love’s cuddles. Would lay with Koby all day if she could (which she sometimes really does do). Nobody would guess it, but she does Kick-box. She’s really into that stuff. And with how skinny and scrawny she is, you could never guess what a strong punch she could throw. She’s Koby’s shy little bodyguard. And she loves it!  //  Both of them would die for Lils.  The fights and interrogations that went on when Mateo came into the picture, oh you can’t even picture it. It’s like they’re the overprotective parents.

3. Lory and Zackery - Lory “Lorelay” was Lils’s best friend since birth. She’s more of a sister at this point. She’s 5′2 with a fire-y personality and with the might of ten-thousand bulls. She doesn’t seem scary - her height and that baby face really doesn’t help it - but believe me... you don’t want to get on her wrong side. But she doesn’t break rules. That’s her only rule - not to break them. The ace ice queen with a giant heart. Overprotective as hell over her loved once.  //  Her twin brother is not much different. Fun to be around, the life of the party, falls in love with every other person he sees. And then get’s his poor bi heart broken... Lory always tries to shield him from it, but he never listens. Not really. He plays  base in his free time and has this deep growly thing he can do with his voice that always impresses everybody. Has a hidden tattoo as well. Lory hasn’t seen it so far... and he intends to keep it that way.  //  But aside from their constant arguing and Lory’s non-stop bossing around, they are the best of friends. He’s the only person she knows she can trust with anything in this whole wide world (besides Lils, obviously). And it goes the other way as well. It wasn’t once that Zack beet up a guy or two for saying something mean to his sister, or God-prevent-it did something to her. And she jumps at anybody who dares to talk down to her baby brother. Nobody but her can insult him. And nobody get’s away with hurting this poor boys heart without a mental breakdown, if it’s up to her. 

4. Jeremia and Mateo - Jer is Mateo’s little brother. He’s 15 and tags along with his bro almost everywhere. He’s a sweet boy, the biggest fan of the Lunatics (Mats and Lil’s band - the names still in the works, don’t worry. They’re still coming up with something better.) Of course they fight sometimes, but what siblings don’t. He likes his crazy brother and his friends.  //  Mateo though... now that’s a different story. until he met Lils he was pretty wild. And then he started playing drums in her band and every bit of anger just sizzled out. Oh, and the fact that he was playing alongside this beautiful angel, also helped. They got together after a year or so, playing together and couldn’t be happier. Mat’s crazy. Does the stupidest shit sometimes. Is up for every challenge. But the moment it comes to Lilian he’s calm and collected and the nicest person you could ever imagine. He’s a huge romantic, but would never admit it out loud. He has a reputation to uphold! After the initial... hostility... the girls love him! He’s a part of the family now and wouldn’t want it any other way... After all... he knows damn well the moment he’d do anything that would remotely hurt Lils he’d be headless. And, they come as a package. You can’t have one without the other - so he just learned to live with the fact that he will always have to share his girl with them. And he doesn’t mind. After all, on days like these he sits curled up on the couch with her cuddled up against him as if he was the only one that mattered, just watching kids cartoons. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[sportifynews]

1:09

Two clubs made offers for Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang before the Arsenal captain signed a new three-year deal, Dharmesh Sheth tells The Transfer Show

Two clubs made offers for Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang before the Arsenal captain signed a new three-year deal, Dharmesh Sheth tells The Transfer Show

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang has signed a new three-year contract with Arsenal.

The 31-year-old’s deal had been due to expire at the end of the season, but he has now ended speculation by extending his stay at the Emirates.

The Arsenal captain scored in their opening-day 3-0 win over Fulham on Saturday, with first-team manager Mikel Arteta hinting after the match a new contract was close.

Gunners on the rise under Arteta?

Arsenal transfer rumours

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“Signing for this special club was never in doubt,” Aubameyang said. “It’s thanks to our fans, my team-mates, my family and everybody at this club that I feel like I belong here.

I believe in Arsenal. We can achieve big things together. We have something exciting here and I believe the best is to come for Arsenal.

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang

“I believe in Arsenal. We can achieve big things together. We have something exciting here and I believe the best is to come for Arsenal.”

Arteta added: “It was important for Pierre-Emerick to stay with us. He’s a superb player with an incredible mentality. Being the player to have taken the least amount of time to reach 50 goals with this club tells you everything you need to know about him and his way of working.

“He’s an important leader for the team and a big part of what we’re building. He wants to be up there with the best players in the world and leave his mark. He can achieve that here.”

Aubameyang scored 22 goals in the Premier League last season and netted twice in Arsenal’s 2-1 win over Chelsea in the FA Cup final to secure their place in the Europa League.

The Gabon forward also scored – and converted the winning spot-kick in a penalty shootout – as Arsenal beat Liverpool to win the Community Shield.

Since his move to Arsenal from Borussia Dortmund in January 2018, he has scored 55 goals in 86 Premier League games.

Technical director Edu said: “It’s clear Auba loves the club and everything we stand for on and off the pitch. He’s obviously a very important part of the team so we’re all delighted he has committed his future to us. It’s a big boost for everyone – fans, team-mates and staff.”

Auba: ‘I want to leave a legacy at Arsenal’

After announcing the extension via a live steam on the club’s Instagram and Twitter accounts, Aubameyang stated his desire to follow in the footsteps of Thierry Henry, Ian Wright, Tony Adams and Dennis Bergkamp and become an Arsenal legend.

“Of course I knew about Arsenal before I arrived, everybody knows how special this club is,” Aubameyang said.

“I’ve seen incredible players. Passionate players. Invincible players. I dream of being one of them, amongst the best, and staying in the hearts of the fans forever.

“I want to become an Arsenal legend, just like Thierry, Wrighty, Adams and Bergkamp. Too many to mention.

“My dad is my biggest inspiration and he was captain of his club and his country, so it means so much to me to be the captain of this special club. I want to leave a legacy, this is where I belong. This is my family.”

Insight: ‘Two offers for Auba before new deal signed’

Sky Sports’ Dharmesh Sheth on The Transfer Show:

I spoke to a couple people close to Arsenal earlier on Wednesday, this represents a huge deal, a huge coup for Arsenal because I’ve been told – they won’t tell me the clubs – there were two major offers for Aubameyang during this transfer window, which didn’t get leaked out.

Two big clubs. So then you have to go and give a bit of credit to technical director Edu and Mikel Arteta, because Arteta has always said it’s not about whether Aubameyang wants to stay at Arsenal, we have to convince Aubameyang that we have the ambition to fulfil his ambition, that we’re going to sign the right players for him to commit another three years, to make sure he’s at a club that’s winning things.

The FA Cup victory might have gone some way into persuading Aubameyang that the direction Arsenal are going is the direction he wants to go in. You have to give a lot of credit to Arteta because he has effectively persuaded Aubameyang that this is the place for him.

Analysis: This deal is a sign of where Arsenal are heading

This is a great deal for Aubameyang, says SSN’s Dharmesh Sheth

Sky Sports’ Dharmesh Sheth:

Arsenal fans can breathe easy – finally.

No need for ‘Announce Aubameyang Contract’. It is done. He has signed. And for the player, it’s a great deal. Three years in fact.

There were some dissenting voices. Why give a 31-year-old that length of contract and that much money (reportedly £250,000 a week)? Simple. 72 goals in 111 appearances. Since he made his debut, nobody in the Premier League has scored more than Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang.

This deal, though, is perhaps a sign of where Arsenal are heading.

“Hopefully we can convince him that this is the right place for him and that he has a future here”. The words of first-team manager Mikel Arteta when asked about Aubameyang in February.

Turns out Arteta and Arsenal have convinced him.

The new contract on its own will delight Arsenal supporters, but what it signifies could provide reasons to be optimistic about where the club is going.

Sky Sports News reporter Dharmesh Sheth

An eighth-placed finish may say otherwise, but it appears Aubameyang is buying into something. Under Arteta, Arsenal have beaten Manchester United and Liverpool in the Premier League. They won the FA Cup thanks in no small part to victories over Manchester City in the semis and Chelsea in the final – Aubameyang scored twice in both matches.

In those games Arteta’s tactics were lauded, tactics which brought the best out of his main man. Add to that, Arteta has shown a ruthless streak – ask Mesut Ozil and Matteo Guendouzi. Undoubtedly, the strength of the manager will have been a huge factor in Aubameyang’s decision – as will the ambition of the club.

There is an acceptance Arsenal need to be creative in this transfer window, but make no mistake, Aubameyang will have asked about potential signings. Are they bringing in players to help challenge for a top-four place, and dare I say it, the title? Aubameyang must think so.

There are changes behind the scenes. Head of football Raul Sanllehi gone, managing director Vinai Venkatesham taking over the role with an accompanying rallying cry. “There is much work to do to return Arsenal to the top of the game where we belong, which is what our fans rightly demand.” A view no doubt shared by Aubameyang.

The new contract on its own will delight Arsenal supporters, but what it signifies could provide reasons to be optimistic about where the club is going.

Transfer Centre LIVE!

Transfer Show: Could Arsenal swap Lacazette for Partey?

Arsenal head of football Sanllehi leaves

Arsenal in advanced talks for Runarsson

Arsenal are in advanced talks with Dijon over the signing of goalkeeper Runar Alex Runarsson.

The 25-year-old Iceland international has two years remaining on his contract with the French club having joined from Danish side Nordsjaelland in 2018.

Arsenal are in the market for a back-up ‘keeper to compete with youngster Matt Macey, having accepted a £16m bid from Aston Villa for Emiliano Martinez.

The 28-year-old Argentinian is expected to complete the move to Villa Park this week.

Martinez has two years remaining on his contract at the Emirates and impressed when stepping in for first-choice ‘keeper Bernd Leno when the German was injured in June, but the Gunners are actively looking to generate funding for further outfield signings in this window.

Transfer Centre LIVE!

All the latest news, analysis and rumours from the window in one place.

The summer transfer window will run for 10 weeks from July 27 and close at 11pm on October 5.

A domestic-only window for trades between the Premier League and EFL then runs from October 5 and closes on Friday, October 16 at 5pm. Follow all the news and analysis on Sky Sports News and across Sky Sports‘ digital platforms, including with our dedicated Transfer Centre blog.

Transfer Talk podcast

Every week throughout the window, the Transfer Talk podcast digs into the biggest storylines in the Premier League and around Europe, with debate and analysis from some of the most well connected reporters in the football world.

Download and subscribe in the link above, or find us wherever you get your podcasts.

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The post Aubameyang signs new three-year Arsenal contract appeared first on Sportify News.

[nonameinanytongue]

The Flower & the Serpent: The Violent Women of Game of Thrones

“Here's the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. Oh, oh, oh!”

-Lady Macbeth, Macbeth, Act V, Scene I

DC’s Wonder Woman opened this summer to critical acclaim. Pop culture outlets made much of its empowered protagonist and progressive themes, lauding everything from its feminist fight scenes to Wonder Woman’s thigh jiggle. In approaching the first superhero flick of the modern big-budget tentpole era both helmed by and starring a woman with such intense and specific scrutiny, much is overlooked and more repurposed to suit a flexible, almost reactive set of ideals held by fans and critics alike. If a woman does something in art that shows her to be powerful, it is interpreted as inherently feminist no matter its context in the work of art or the world beyond.

Perhaps in a world where women, homosexuals, and transsexuals lobby vigorously for the right to serve in active combat zones a conflation of ability to do violence and the possession of feminist power is understandable. Surely there are many women who, for reasons understandable or awful, crave invincible bodies and the power and grace to crush the people who hurt them. Many more are happy to acclaim any media in which a woman emerges victorious as another mile marker driven into the roadside on the highway of equality. Especially beloved are movies, shows, comics, and novels in which such victories are portrayed as straightforwardly virtuous and good. 

Think of Sansa Stark condemning her rapist and tormentor, Ramsay Bolton, to a grisly death at the jaws of his own hounds. How many fans and critics expressed unbridled joy at that, as though Sansa had won some kind of symbolic victory for all women? Her sister Arya’s rampage, which has taken her across the Narrow Sea and back again and claimed the lives of dozens, has likewise been applauded as a meaningful triumph in the way we tell women’s stories. For the record, I think both of these plots are intensely compelling and reveal volumes both about the characters themselves and the world they inhabit. Game of Thrones is a show nearly singular in its refusal to make violence joyous or cathartic, no matter the whoops and cheers of many of its fans.

Still, no matter how many times the show delivers searing anti-war images or explores the corrosive influence of violence on those who commit it, viewers remain hungry for the spectacle of women overpowering their enemies and turning back on them the weapons of their own oppression. In a culture where Redpill misogynists hold elected office and our president is a serial rapist, a desire to see women take power with a dash of fire and blood feels all too understandable, but celebrating the destruction of their personalities and lives is a reductive way to understand their stories.

In order to understand what Game of Thrones has to say about violent women, it’s necessary to set aside the thrill that seeing them materially ascendant brings and focus on the images, words, and larger context of the show’s particular examples. Where films like Wonder Woman thrive by repurposing a complex and horrifying conflict (World War I in the first film, the Cold War in the upcoming second) into a heroic battle between good and evil, Game of Thrones, rooted in a genre where conflict is often artificially cleansed of moral ambiguity through devices like entire species of evil-doers, makes no attempt to sand the edges off of its depictions of war or violence. 

Nearly every woman on the show, with the possible exceptions of Gilly and Myrcella, are directly involved in war, torture, and many other forms of brutality. From Catelyn and Lysa’s ugly mess of a trial for Tyrion, an act they surely must have known would cost many smallfolk their lives once Tywin Lannister caught wind of it, to Ygritte fighting to save her people by sticking the innocent farmers in the shadow of the Wall full of arrows, the actions of women with power both physical and political are shown to bear fruit just as ugly as any their husbands, sons, and brothers can cultivate. There’s an uncomfortable truth lurking there, an admission that some modes of action and ways of being may not intersect meaningfully with many of modern feminism’s tenets.

In this essay I will dissect scenes and story to illustrate the show’s deeply antipathetic stance on violence and the ways in which it is misunderstood both by those who enjoy the show and by those who detest it or object to it.

I. ARYA

If a man is getting his eyes stabbed out by a child he intended to beat and rape, does the child’s gender matter when determining what the scene is meant to convey? Is it somehow triumphant for a girl to do that to another living person, no matter how repugnant he might be? Isn’t it possible that what the scene communicates is not that Arya’s slow transformation into a butcher with scant regard for human life is something we ought to cheer for but that the fact she couldn’t survive in Westeros or Essos as anything else, much less as a little girl, is deeply sad?

Arya’s crimes nearly always echo those of her tormentors. Think of the first person she kills, a stable boy, not so different in age or appearance from her erstwhile playmate, Mycah, who was slaughtered by the Hound a bare few months before. Or else consider Polliver, the Lannister soldier who murdered her friend Lommy and whose own mocking words she spits back at him as she plunges her sword up through his jaw. More recently, her wholesale slaughter of House Frey recalls with a visual exactitude which can be nothing but intentional the massacre of her own family and their allies at the Red Wedding. In this last instance she literally dons their murderer’s skin in order to exact her revenge, pressing Walder Frey’s face against her own in an act that feels uncomfortably more like embodiment than disguise.

Arya’s long journey through peril and terror has hardened her, but there’s little reason to rejoice in her hard-won powers of stealth and bloodletting. Who, after all, does she resemble with her obsession over old scores and her penchant for cruelly ironic punishments if not the subject of this essay’s next section.

II. CERSEI

Cersei Lannister,  is distinguished from a hundred other interchangeable evil queens by the attention devoted to her own suffering. Sold by her father to a man who beat and raped her, denied the glory heaped on her twin by sole dint of her gender, humiliated and terrorized by the despicable son whose monstrosity she nurtured, and finally stripped, shaven, and marched barefoot through jeering crowds after being tortured for weeks or months in the dungeons of the church she armed and enabled, Cersei’s brutality serves only to deepen her misery and isolation.  

The aforementioned tyranny of the High Sparrow she put in power, the murder of her monstrous son by her political rivals after she groomed him to be the beast he was, her conflicted and good-hearted younger son’s suicide after his mother’s revenge on the High Sparrow and the Tyrells broke his spirit; Cersei’s litany of victories reads a lot like a list of agonizing losses when you look at it sidelong. Certainly her grasping, vindictive reign has brought her no joy. It’s true that audiences are expected to see Cersei as a horrible human being, which she is, but the time the show spends on giving viewers a chance to empathize with this badly damaged person trying to throttle happiness and security out of a recalcitrant world argues for a more complex interpretation of her character. Watching her need to dominate rip her family and sanity apart, ushering all three of her children into early graves, transforms her from a straightforward villain to a troubled and tragic figure.

III. DAENERYS

Sold into slavery after a life on the run with her unstable and abusive brother and raped on her wedding night by a foreign warlord, Daenerys’s relationship to violence after her ascent to power is complex and heavily ideological. Her crusade to end slavery, motivated as much or more by strength of character and an innate sense of justice than it is by personal suffering and an impulse toward vengeance, has engendered sweeping changes throughout Essos, but at times it has taken on shades of the ostentatiously symbolic punishments for which her family name is famous. The crucifixion of the Masters is a particularly gratuitous example as Daenerys allows her desire to change the world and her need to feel good about the justice she doles out combine to produce a dreadful and inhumane outcome.

This act of performative brutality finds its echo in the rogue execution of a Son of the Harpy, imprisoned and awaiting trial, by Daenerys’s fervent supporter Mossador. Dany may claim that she is not above the law when Mossador confronts her, but when butchery without trial suited her she was quick to embrace it. Her case is uniquely complicated by her enemy: the slavers. Nothing excuses violence like a civilization of rapists and flesh-peddlers beating and maiming their human chattel onscreen, and there is powerful catharsis in seeing their corrupt works shredded and their hateful and exploitative lives snuffed out, but in making them suffer and in choosing the easy way out through orgiastic episodes of violence, Dany betrays her own unwillingness to do the hard work of reform. In many ways, her long stay in Meereen functions as the tragic story of her decision to embrace the grandiose violence her ancestors partook of so freely. We may feel good watching her triumph over evil, but we’re reminded frequently of the horrors and miseries of her reign.

IV. BRIENNE

Brienne’s pursuit of knighthood and adherence to its practices and code is no warrior-girl fantasy about a scabby-kneed tomboy learning to swordfight. Trapped in a body unsuited to courtly life, mocked by suitors and competitors alike, and yearning for the right to live by the sword as men do, Brienne finds challenging refuge in a way of life intimately associated with violent acts. From her butchery of the guards in Renly’s tent to her honor-bound execution of her one-time king’s brother in a snowy forest, Brienne’s path has frequently led her into mortal conflict.

At the climax of Wonder Woman, Diana kills a super-powered caricature of historical figure General Erich Ludendorff, a character who seems to exist solely to uncomplicate the moral landscape of World War I. A few minutes later she kills the man behind the man, her divine uncle Ares, and breaks his grasp on the people of war-torn Europe. The presentation of the act of killing as a triumph for human morality strips away much of what violent media can offer. Contrast Brienne’s desperate fight with three Stark soldiers as she attempts to spirit Jaime Lannister to safety on Catelyn’s orders. Screaming with every blow and leaving her opponents hacked to pieces, Brienne succeeds in her mission at an obvious human cost. Men, despicable men but men nonetheless, are dead. She and Catelyn are now in open rebellion against Robb’s authority. 

To kill is to sever a life and give birth to a living, growing tree of consequences. To explore it instead as a tidy way to resolve problems and make the world a better place is to misrepresent its essential nature. You can’t improve the world through butchery. You can’t heal by harming. What violence in media is meant to teach us is a capacity for empathy, a reflexive understanding that all people are as fully and completely human as ourselves. Loathsome or virtuous, kind or cruel, no human suffering should be a comfortable or affirming thing to witness. (The Republican Party’s elected officials and pundit corps certainly makes a strong case for an exception to this rule).

One might charitably assume that lionization of violent women and their specific acts of violence stems from a place of vulnerability, a desire to balance the scales and erase the danger and aggression with which almost all women must live on a daily basis. I would argue that while this may hold true in part, a deeper truth is that many people have not been taught to feel pain for others in a way that allows for true emotional vulnerability or complex feelings about morally ugly and confusing actions. It’s easier to cheer when the guy we hate gets his than it is feel sorrow for the former innocent who dished out justice, or empathy for the deceased whose life must surely have held its own miseries and secret hurts. 

Audiences would be well-served by taking a moment to step back from their reactions to violence in media and attempting to interpret what message the art is trying to convey. Is the violence slickly produced and bloodless, a parade of cool moments and heroic victories? Or is it focused on the humanity of victims and perpetrators and the cost of their actions? What is the camera telling us? The colors? The editing? Are we meant to agree with King Theoden’s speech about the glories of war in Return of the King when the very next cut brings us into the hellish, pointless confusion of the taking of Osgiliath? Are we meant to be happy when Sansa smiles at Ramsay’s death when the very last thing he told her was that she would carry him, his essence, with her forever? 

The most transcendent joy art brings is the opportunity to reach out of your own beliefs and feelings and into someone else’s dreaming mind, to parse the language of symbols and ideas with which they have addressed the world and make in the negative space between your consciousness and theirs a new understanding. Learn to relish the complex and sometimes hideous nature of humanity over the easy thrills and cheap moral lessons of crowd-pleasers made by billionaires. Understand that art that makes you uncomfortable could be helping you grow. 

A woman’s actions are not laudable just because she’s a woman, or just because she’s been wronged. In our rush to associate the violent triumph of women over the men who’ve hurt them with personal strength, healing, justice, and praiseworthiness we ignore what shows like Game of Thrones are saying in favor of what we want to hear. Violence should never be easy, and violence that assures us, or that we think assures us we’re good and rooting for the right people should always be suspect. 

In labeling anything that pleases us, that satisfies our own hunger for justice and supremacy “feminist,” we forget that feminism is first and foremost an attempt to remake the world. The structure of things as they are is brutish and oppressive, and to cry tears of joy as women, even fictional women, fall prey to the allure of those same structures is to fundamentally misunderstand the point of a life-or-death struggle in which at this moment in history we are perilously engaged. As assaults on our tattered reproductive rights continue, as women struggling with addiction, illness, and homelessness are thrown into prison en masse, as our political leaders openly contemplate sentencing the most vulnerable among us to death in order to pay off the corporate elite and the Left (justifiably, in my opinion) contemplates and utilizes resistance through force on a scale unheard of in this millennium in our country’s history, learning to see violence for what it is has become more imperative than ever before.

[marcystrings]

What is the Acacia Dragoons?

THE ACACIA DRAGOONS

The Acacia Dragoons are a military and governmental organization created by the Viper Clan. Their origins unclear, they were probably created after the Viper Clan established itself in El Nido; there, they constructed Viper Manor, and administrated the islands and the city of Termina. The bulk of the organization's military might lay in privates and sergeants who also performed guard duties. Above these soldiers were the four Devas, elite warriors who led the others and tore up the battlefield. Above all the military were two regulators; one held the position of Grandmaster, the strongest fighter in the entire force. This person wielded the holy sword Einlanzer, taken from the Dragonians, and led the others in combat. When the titleholder became too old or weak, or desired to resign from the position, the Einlanzer was passed to the next in line for being the mightiest fighter. The second administrative position belonged to the Lord of the Acacia Dragoons, who performed civil duties and made strategic decisions concerning the military. Using Viper Manor as a base of operations, they oversaw the affairs of El Nido for one hundred years beginning 920 A.D.; the organization was lauded and loved by the people of Termina, though others resented the new influence and the resulting extinction of the Dragonians.

The modern history of the Dragoons began around 1005 A.D. In or around that year, the heir to the Viper Clan, General Viper, received an appointment on the mainland with Garai, Radius, and Zappa, the 13th Grandmaster and two Devas, in tow. The nature of their involvement in the affairs of Zenan is unknown, but it is possible that the Dragoons fought alongside or against Porre and had a hand in the Fall of Guardia. Viper impressed his superiors so much that he was made a General (the identity of his superiors is unknown; possible, another Viper was in command of administration at this time). While still presumably on the mainland, Garai and Radius located the demonic Masamune; it corrupted Radius temporarily, and he stabbed Garai in the back. When the Dragoons returned to El Nido, Garai was buried at the Isle of the Damned, and the sons of the current Dragoons began to train to match their fathers careers. The new generation included Dario and Glenn, sons of Garai, and Karsh, son of Zappa. Viper soon became the administrative leader of the Dragoons, and a statue of him was erected in Termina. The Dragoons enjoyed peace until 1011 A.D., when on the mainland, a falling out occurred between Viper and Fargo, with the latter fleeing for his life. In the resulting chaos, Fargo's wife Zelbess was killed, and his daughter Marcy was left behind, eventually adopted by the Acacia Dragoons as a Deva. From this point, the history of the Dragoons varied across dimensions. In Home World, Radius retired in 1017 A.D., while Lynx conspired with Viper concerning the Frozen Flame. He convinced Viper to lead an expedition to the Dead Sea; the Dragoons entered and searched for the Flame. Before reaching Nadia's Bell, however, they were frozen and phased out of normal time. Viper Manor later fell to ruin, though in 1020 A.D., Dario was revived and created an orphanage, pledging to reform the organization.

In Another World, the Dragoons trained the new generation and stayed abreast of news from the mainland. Dario and Karsh developed a competitive rivalry, often competing in the Tournament of Swords. General Viper's daughter, Riddel, developed a liking for Dario; the two later engaged in 1017 A.D., much to Karsh's disappointment. Dario also received the Einlanzer, becoming the 14th Grandmaster of the Dragoons. Soon after, an expedition to the Isle of the Damned was ordered; Karsh and Dario led with the Shaker Brothers behind them. There, they were shocked to find the Masamune; Dario picked it up and was corrupted. He lashed out at Karsh, who managed to strike and kill him before any harm came. This created a vacancy in the Devas that would go unfilled for three years. After the incident, Karsh, Zoah, and Marcy became the new Devas, as Viper continued to fulfill his role as officiator. Lynx had erstwhile spoke to the General concerning the Frozen Flame and Porre; in 1020 A.D., he convinced Lord Viper that Porre was planning to make an attack on El Nido. Meanwhile, Serge and Kid infiltrated Viper Manor, causing a stir and eventually becoming cornered on the upper floors. Viper and Lynx approached them, and Viper's daughter Riddel was tepmorarily taken hostage. Eventually, Lynx wounded Kid; Serge and the other party member jumped over the balcony to escape with her. Subsequently, Viper commanded the Dragoons to vacate the manor and take up a defensive position at Fort Dragonia. This was merely Lynx's plan to lure Serge so that he could switch bodies with the boy.

Once Viper outlived his usefulness at Fort Dragonia, Lynx stabbed him in the back and switched bodies. Karsh and the others soon found him, and nursed him back to health. Porre successfully invaded in the ensuing chaos; the Dragoons went into hiding and scattered. Karsh and Zoah eventually met up with Serge; they rescued Riddel, who was held at Viper Manor for interrogation. The Devas and Viper then reunited at Hermit's Hideaway. When Lynx attacked it, they evacuated to the S.S. Invincible. Thereafter, they provided their services to Serge in the battle against the Time Devourer.

[texanredrose]

Celebrity Matchmaker (Part 2)

Meet the next contestant. Until someone clues me in to the ‘official’ name for the ship, I’m going to just start tagging it with the random ones I come up with. I can’t find any fics on FFN and AO3 and I really don’t believe I’m the first one to write this, so someone help me out here.

Part 1 / Part 2 (here) / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8  

Weiss watched as the Faunus took her assigned spot, the faintest twitch to her ears conveying her nervousness while she offered a composed front to the cameras. In those stolen moments spent by the horses, she'd learned exactly what sort of relationship she could expect from pursuing a romance with Blake: quiet, reserved, and with only a fraction of the passion visible to the naked eye, the true depths kept for behind closed doors. In truth, she wouldn't mind that, and she could probably coax the Faunus out of her shell a little bit with time. They’d probably never reach the point of making out on the red carpet of a movie release, but a little public affection wouldn’t hurt, and it was at least feasible. Not because she personally preferred putting her life on display for all Remnant to see but... well, she certainly had become well adjusted to the idea of public displays of affection over the past sixteen weeks, and the prospect of losing that little bit of open emotional connection dismayed her more than she was willing to admit.

If she had one regret from her time spent with the Faunus thus far, it was not telling Blake that the stolen kiss out beneath the stars was actually the first one she'd had that wasn't for the benefit of a camera or an audience- the very first kiss she'd ever exchanged purely for its personal meaning. At one point, she might've been a little embarrassed to admit such, but now she wished she could tell the Faunus how much it meant to her. Her personal thoughts, however, did nothing to slow the progression of the show as the host turned her attention to the first of Weiss’ final choices.

"Good to see you, Blake, though it's a bit bittersweet," Coco said, moving closer to the author so the shot could be framed just right. "This is probably your last time standing here at the manor. Do you have any thoughts you'd like to share?"

"Plenty, but I'll keep it short." Amber eyes flicked her way before looking towards the camera. "Spending the past sixteen weeks here, with Weiss and everyone else, has given me some of the greatest moments of my life. Regardless of the outcome, I'll truly cherish my time here."

The audience gave a round of applause, a few members vocally shouting encouragement; well, it was nice to see others saw the romantic potential between them, too. Idly, she wondered how many fans they had rooting for Blake to be her choice at the end of the night, how many were watching and hoping- she knew they had to exist, based on previous seasons, but everyone at the manor had turned over all their devices that could access the CCT at the onset of filming. So her opinion wouldn’t be ‘swayed’, according to the producers.

"Alright, let's call out our next finalist." Coco stepped back towards the movie star, tugging slightly on the formal jacket she wore. "Please, give a warm welcome to the woman of a thousand talents, the Invincible Woman herself, Pyrrha Nikos of Mistral!"

The introduction pulled her attention away from admiring the Faunus, blue eyes falling on the tall, redheaded woman now striding towards the center of their temporary stage out on the lawn of the manor. She wore a shimmering red dress with matching heels only an inch high, golden bracelets and a necklace matching the traditional Mistrali circlet she wore, emerald earrings swaying in time with her step. The sleeveless designed allowed the hard won muscles of her arms and shoulders to be on display, which she'd always admired for a multitude of reasons, and she had to admire the modern take on Mistral’s traditional formal wear. Pyrrha offered a wave and a charming smile, more than accustomed to greeting crowds that cheered her on, but this was a different woman from the one Weiss had gotten to know over the past sixteen weeks.

Champion Pyrrha, tournament winner Pyrrha, Olympic gold medalist Pyrrha- that was the woman all of Remnant knew and adored.

And she was one of the very, very few people to meet and enjoy the company of dork Pyrrha, unsure Pyrrha, fan Pyrrha- the Pyrrha the rest of the world didn't get to see, who became even more endearing when the camera crews were out of earshot.

The Pyrrha who would rather cheer others on than be cheered on herself.

The downside to starting the show's run at the tail end of summer became apparent by week ten, with late fall turning the wind cold and the sky dreary. Their excursion on horseback marked the last time they had genuinely pleasant weather for all parties; now, it erred too cold for some while remaining bearable for others. Being born in Atlas and raised among the white peaks of the northern mountains, Weiss had an affinity for the cooler weather that baffled some, not even bothering to wear a heavy jacket as the shooting moved into a nearby ice rink. It wasn't cold enough for them to use the nearby pond but she always liked the charm of a well maintained complex like this, where so many people from warmer climates regarded it as either a fool's notion or a whimsical curiosity. She'd spent well over three hours skating, either with one of the contestants or solo while the others got warmed up or cooled off. They weren't doing anything exceptionally difficult, just skating around and talking one-on-one, but she'd always enjoyed the feel of moving along the ice, the brisk wind in her face when she moved quickly or the subtler sting of cold air in her lungs when she slowed down. It just felt... liberating.

"Hello!" With a twist of her hips, Weiss turned her feet and stopped on a dime, looking over to see Pyrrha skating towards her with a warm smile, bundled up with a scarf around her neck and a beanie over her head. Being from Mistral, which had markedly warmer weather, the movie star honestly found it a little surprising that the woman had returned to the ice.

"Hello, Pyrrha. Is everything okay?" In the back of her mind, she dreaded an extension of about half the scenes- honestly, they'd spent more time teaching people to ride horseback than maintain their balance on skates, and she felt both presented equal opportunity for personal injury- purely because she'd entirely lost interest in half the remaining prospects. Trying to maintain the facade through the remaining weeks until she could eliminate them proved troublesome, especially when they were back at the manor, seeing as she could almost never let her guard down. Here, between the one-on-one segments, she could steal a few moments to herself.

"Everything's fine." The redhead smiled, coasting to a stop beside her. "It's just... the crew is taking a break before shooting the final segment and I volunteered to come tell you."

The movie star narrowed her eyes. Truth to tell, out of all the candidates, Pyrrha Nikos was the only one she immediately recognized; an accomplished practitioner in the old Huntress ways and a stunningly gifted athlete, the woman was known all over Remnant as a beloved sports icon. And while every commentator from Mistral to Menagerie would laud her ability to retain a cool head under pressure and never telegraph her moves, Weiss had come to find out that the redhead absolutely couldn't lie to save her life. She possessed far too many tells- like the subtle bunching of her shoulders and the way her gaze darted away- to fool anyone, and while that normally would spark more than a modicum of mistrust in her, Weiss couldn't help but find it a bit... comforting. Despite how obvious Pyrrha was when she told a lie, the behavior never cropped up when they were talking. Immediately before or after, when the redhead needed an excuse to have the movie star's attention or quickly depart? That was when all those little signs appeared.

It was almost like she was nervous when talking to Weiss, and wasn’t that just a funny little thought?

"Oh, is that it?" She smiled a little, pushing off to continue her lap around the rink. "Just a little delay for no reason?"

"Something like that." The taller, much strong woman followed, though those differences weren't nearly as apparent here on the ice as they normally were. Normally, the athlete's gait would be obviously adjusted so she didn't leave Weiss in the dust when the two walked side-by-side, but between them, the movie star had far more experience turning every little bit of effort put into her skates into forward motion and an innate sense of balance. Now, she was the one adjusting her strides so she didn’t leave the other woman behind. "Are you enjoying this week's event?"

"Was it not obvious?" She flashed a small smile at the redhead, clasping her hands behind her back and quickly shifting her weight around, allowing her to transition into a backwards glide. She wasn’t showing off... too much. "This was something of a pastime of mine for a number of years."

"I can tell; you're very good at it," Pyrrha replied, swinging her arms slightly to try and match the smaller woman's speed.

They shared a much different dynamic than Weiss had with any of the other contestants. Knowing about the athlete beforehand, having been a fan for a number of years, all that extra baggage made their first few interactions awkward and a tad forced, something that still made her cringe a little when she reflected on those early segments. It wasn't until one morning in the third week, when someone had turned on the television in the den, that Weiss got over that rockiness, amending the mental image she had of Pyrrha to include the starry eyed redhead sitting on the couch, completely enamored with the newest episode of some silly cartoon show that she absolutely adored.

"Thank you. You've taken to it remarkably well yourself." Without looking, she leaned to the side, guiding herself through the bend in the rink as the redhead followed. "Have you ice skated before?"

"Once, when I was very small." The athlete pushed off exceptionally hard with one skate, momentarily overtaking Weiss. It didn't last long, however; even skating backwards, her years of experience and technique beat brute strength. "Have you ever considered competing?"

"Once, many years ago," she replied, coasting to a stop while looking towards the center of the rink. After seeing that peek of who waited just beneath the athlete's calm exterior, Weiss found it easier to approach the redhead, and they bonded over that unique sensation of constantly playing a role they weren't even sure they wanted anymore, forced into a mold early and thriving despite personal misgivings. "I remember watching the Olympics one year and thinking: I could be a professional figure skater. I could be that graceful, that dedicated, that agile- I wasn't at the time, but I could be." Pyrrha slid to a halt beside her, the both of them watching an imaginary routine play out along the mostly untouched center. Normally, the camera crew would be there, using a platform to keep from slipping while they recorded the necessary video and audio. However, whatever prompted them to take their 'break' had taken the platform with it, though the markers on the ice remained. "It was a flight of fancy."

"I think you would've been good at it." Pyrrha offered, offering a genuine smile that reached all the way to emerald eyes. "Would you show me?"

"Show you?" She looked at the taller woman, confused.

"Come on, Weiss. You can do more than skate backwards." The redhead gestured to the rest of the rink. "Just... have fun."

That was another thing that had taken her by surprise; despite being serious and determined during competitions, Pyrrha was one of the first to advocate for having fun and relaxing whenever the opportunity presented itself.

With only a moment more of hesitation, she pushed off, lazily cutting large arcs towards the center of the rink while mulling over what tricks she could do. While she hadn't attempted any in quite some time, she trusted her sense of balance and muscle memory to carry her through some basics- well, perhaps 'basic' wasn't the proper word, but the movements had become old hat to her years ago. As she came to a stop in the center, an old song came to mind, one she'd known through and through since she was a little girl, from some opera or other. The words were lost to her now but she remembered the melody, and she let the music in her head accompany her motions.

She started simple, arms raised and moving around her as much to keep her balance as to direct unseen string instruments through each measure as she streaked from one side of the rink to the other, switching between skating forwards and backwards effortlessly. She spun a few times and jumped at others, following a routine she designed with every breath, tilting her head back and losing herself to the motions. Were this a professional endeavor, there would be a million critiques- her form, her footwork, being too cautious at times and too risky at others- but she could put all those aside here, with Pyrrha as her audience, because the woman understood perhaps better than most that not every undertaking had to be perfect to be meaningful, that passion could supplement skill, and that some of the most enjoyable things in life weren't for the spectacle of others.

When she finished, coming to an abrupt halt with her arms raised high, awaiting the verdict of an imaginary crowd, Weiss returned to her senses while listening to the singular, echoing applause bouncing off the rink's walls. She couldn't help but smile, noting her racing heart and heavy breathing from the exertion, and turned to see the tall redhead standing by the wall near the rink's entrance.

"I trust that was satisfactory," she said, skating towards the woman.

Pyrrha's smiled widened, reaching out to steady her as she came to a stop. "That depends entirely on if you enjoyed yourself."

"Well, when you put it that way." A breathless chuckle passed her lips, the sweat gathered on her brow calling attention to just how much effort she'd put into the display. In the moment, she hadn't registered it, too busy being lost to the sensation of the cold air all around her, gliding along to a muted melody, but now she could feel the heat in her limbs from being pushed so hard after being mostly idle the past few hours. "I did, immensely."

"Then from where I was standing, it was absolutely marvelous." She paused, emerald eyes scanning Weiss' form before she came to a decision, unzipping her jacket and reaching inside. "I'm glad you got to enjoy yourself while we're here."

"I rather liked skating with you, too, for the record," she replied, opting to omit the few others she'd liked as well. It was difficult, at times, to keep everything separate, but only the crew asked her opinion of the other contestants during her interviews, so she tried to maintain that division and maintain the illusion that only one relationship was naturally developing at a time. She’d played hundreds of roles with utter dedication- why not this one, too?

"I'm sure you did, but I also know you were holding back." Pyrrha pulled out another scarf, this one white with a little blue stripe, and quickly unfolded it, looping it around the movie star's neck. "I'm not sure if I could ever skate like that."

"I'd be willing to teach you. I've never skated like that with a partner." She left out the observation that the athlete could easily learn; she had the athleticism and work ethic for it, and she'd shown a great deal of grace and agility through her many events. Yet, pointing all that out would be the exact sort of response the redhead would receive from countless others, affirming her natural and hard won talents instead of just allowing the woman to show a bit of vulnerability every now and again. They still called her Invincible, but Weiss had learned that hearts were fragile things even in the strongest warriors. And she respected that. "But... what's this for?"

"You should know so much exertion in this sort of cool climate can get you sick, silly." Pyrrha chuckled, looping the scarf around her neck one more time before tying it in a loose knot just beneath her chin. "You've still got one more segment to film."

"That's very considerate of you." She raised a brow. "Have you been holding onto it this whole time hoping for an excuse to let me borrow it?"

"'Let you have it' would be more accurate, but, yes." A small flush crept into the taller woman's cheeks. "I noticed you packed rather light when we left the manor this morning, so I went to the gift shop when we got here."

Weiss blinked. "Let me have it?"

"Of course." Despite her blush, the athlete smiled even wider. "Now, you have a memento of your excellent routine."

For a moment, she couldn't really process it- like a gear had gotten stuck in her head- but then Pyrrha leaned down and brushed a soft kiss against her forehead, and it didn't even matter. How could anyone not fall in love with someone so endearing? She found herself shifting her weight just enough to drift forward, arms wrapping around the other woman's waist as the embrace was returned. Already, she could hear the clatter and clamor of the film crew returning, which meant the redhead would be slipping away to avoid being chided for sharing a moment when they weren't rolling, but they could simply enjoy the presence of the other for a few moments more.

So, she did.

[tsgbatonrougelouisiana]

WHAT WE'RE READING: THE TSG SUMMER 2017 BOOK CLUB

Summer is the perfect time to tackle your to-read pile. Plane rides, comfortable porches, and poolside lounging all call for cracking open a good book, and there’s no better way to wait out a summer storm than curled up with a novel or entertaining essay collection. Here, we’ve collected 10 titles spanning a variety of genres that we’re looking forward to reading over the next few months. Whether you’re looking for something to throw into your beach bag, seeking a recommendation for your next book club read, or in need of a good laugh, this list has you covered.

Commonwealth by Ann Patchett What the critics say: The Washington Post declared, “This is surely the smartest, most exciting novel of the summer.” Meanwhile, a New York Times review posited,“The questions Commonwealth raises are ultimately counterfactual, philosophical: Who might we be if our parents hadn’t made catastrophic choices, and we hadn’t responded catastrophically to them? Maybe better-adjusted people with easier days and nights. But maybe the poorer for it.” Why we picked it: Patchett is an excellent storyteller, and this book about how a romantic encounter affects the lives of six stepsiblings over the course of five decades promises to be a compelling and emotional examination of family.

Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff What the critics say: Where to begin? This book was lauded by critics in every major outlet, from The New York Times to The New Yorker to Vogue. Here’s a sample of the praise: “Groff’s novel unfolds in a he said/she said gutting drama that you won’t be able to resist.” –Marie Claire Why we picked it: This National Book Award Finalist tells the story of a marriage between a glamorous couple from the perspectives of both the husband and wife. The premise alone is tantalizing, but Groff’s prodigious literary skills and talent make it a true must-read.

Invincible Summer by Alice Adams What the critics say: The British author received widespread critical acclaim for her debut novel, including the following from The New York Times Book Review: “A crackerjack storyteller who deeply inhabits her characters—deploying pitch-perfect dialogue to poignant and hilarious effect—Adams uses the conventions of the form to examine larger ideas about class and commerce, art and science, friendship and family at the time of the most recent fin de siècle.” Why we picked it: This story about four college friends who go their separate ways, then are brought back together years later, is perfect beach reading.

Theft by Finding by David Sedaris What the critics say: It’s fairly unanimous that Sedaris’s diaries are a comedy goldmine. Harper’s Bazaarsaid this of his latest collection: “Theft by Finding reveals intimate details of this literary luminary’s life and mind—all told with his singular sense of humor.” Why we picked it: It’s not often you can say a writer is “laugh out loud” funny and really mean it, but in David Sedaris’s case, it’s 100% true. Those who have seen him speak know how hilarious his diaries are, and there’s no doubt this book of entries from 1977 to 2002 delivers the humor.

Flâneuse by Lauren Elkin What the critics say: Though the book may be difficult to categorize (it’s part cultural commentary, part memoir, part many other things), the general critical response is that this is a refreshing, worthwhile read. For example, the Chicago Tribune wrote, “[An] eclectic and absorbing memoir and cultural history….The book strikes a rewarding balance between present and past, as it establishes and illustrates the much-needed definition of the flaneuse as ‘a determined, resourceful individual keenly attuned to the creative potential of the city, and the liberating possibilities of a good walk.’” Why we picked it: As soon as we spotted this book on Charlotte Moss’s Instagram we knew we had to order it—and not just because of its chic cover. In it, the author examines what it means to be a woman wandering in a city, exploring and being inspired by her surroundings.

Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan What the critics say: You know a book is going to be good when words like “delicious” and “uproarious” come up again and again in reviews. Take, for example, this passage from InStyle‘s write-up: “Kevin Kwan has done it again. The mastermind behind the delicious Crazy Rich Asians series has drawn a cult-like following with his extravagant tales of Asia’s upper echelon. He’s back at with the series’s final installment, Rich People Problems (rest assured, it’s just as enthralling as the trilogy’s first two volumes).” Why we picked it: The latest novel from bestselling author Kwan is sure to be a hilarious riff on high society—and perfect poolside reading.

Do Not Become Alarmed by Maile Meloy What the critics say: By and large, critics billed this novel as a must-read this summer. Here’s Vogue‘s take: “A marital reboot becomes a zip line to disaster in Maile Meloy’s holiday cruise-set thriller Do Not Become Alarmed, in which the children’s moral complexity outstrips that of their parents.” Why we picked it: Ten years after reading it, Meloy’s Liars and Saints still ranks high on our favorite books list. Do Not Become Alarmed, a novel about what happens when two families go on a luxurious tropical vacation together and the children go missing, seems poised to take a spot right next to it.

The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead What the critics say: This Pulitzer Prize-winner was universally praised, including in a Washington Postreview that read: “The Underground Railroad reanimates the slave narrative, disrupts our settled sense of the past and stretches the ligaments of history right into our own era…The canon of essential novels about America’s peculiar institution just grew by one.” Why we picked it: While it’s definitely not a light and breezy beach read, The Underground Railroad is a thoroughly engrossing tale that’ll stay with you long after the last page. The book, which follows a female slave’s escape from a Georgia plantation in the antebellum South and her journey to find freedom, is an important, thought-provoking work that’s perfect for book clubs.

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders What the critics say: Yet another universally beloved book, Elle wrote, “Saunders has written an unsentimental novel of Shakespearean proportions, gorgeously stuffed with tragic characters, bawdy humor, terrifying visions, throat-catching tenderness, and a galloping narrative, all twined around the luminous cord connecting a father and son and backlit by a nation engulfed in fire.” Why we picked it: Short story writer Saunders’s first novel sounds utterly fascinating: it follows a mourning Abraham Lincoln as he grieves the loss of his 11-year-old son, Willie, while the Civil War rages. When Lincoln visits Willie in the Georgetown cemetery, the spirits of the dead come to life to help Willie and his father move on. Saunders is a brilliant writer, and while his latest work sounds undeniably ambitious, according to the critics it’s expertly executed.

How They Decorated by P. Gaye Tapp What the critics say: This collection of interiors by well-known style icons certainly piqued the interest of critics, including Forbes.com, which stated: “In How They Decorated: Inspiration from Great Women of the Twentieth Century, P. Gaye Tapp casts her eyes on the decorating styles of iconic women like Babe Paley, Pauline de Rothschild, Mona Von Bismarck and Elsa Schiaparelli. Whether these women employed top decorators or executed their homes on their own, the book provides great insights into lives fabulously lived.” Why we picked it: Who could resist an invitation into the homes of some of the most stylish women of the twentieth century?

[fairytail-whathesays]

How to Make An Intelligent Fighter or Strategist:

There really isn’t an easy way to describe to a viewer who doesn’t think critically how and why Mavis Vermillion fails as a tactician, her one famed trait. But I think I’ve figured out a way.

When you want to craft a character who is skilled in battle situations because of their intelligent means of fighting, their cunning, or their excellence when it comes to strategy, there are certain ways you have to show it for it to be believable. Showing characters like these is done several times in Fairy Tail and there are good examples, Mavis just isn’t one of them. 

The keys are subtlety and, more than that, audience inclusion.

What I’m saying is, when you show how a character is a good strategist, the audience has to be able to come to the same conclusions they do. Not necessarily obviously or as soon as it happens, but the audience definitely needs to know what’s going on in a character’s brain.

Bad example: Mavis in “Fairy Tactician”, where Mavis accurately directed all members of the Fairy Tail team in the Grand Magic Game and, for the most part, accurately predicted who would show up where. This example is bad because all we can see is Mavis saying things will happen and then those things happening. She is promptly lauded for her great tactical thinking and we are told about her great reputation as a tactician, even scoring many victories in a war because of it. However, the audience cannot see how Mavis comes to these conclusions, nor the thinking behind them in any way--we simply see the effects. That makes this an informed quality--and informed qualities are not good. “Tell, don’t show”-- a reminder of the greatest rule of subtle writing.

Good example: Erza vs. Midnight. Jellal is at an absolute loss as to how to circumvent Midnight’s seemingly invincible and manipulative powers. Erza meanwhile, far beneath him in power level, figures out two crucial ones and successfully exploits them, leading to Midnight’s defeat at her hands. We aren’t told what these weaknesses are right off the bat, but when they’re exposed to us, we immediately understand how they work and how Erza was able to figure them out. The first weakness is not being able to manipulate the human body, and the second is only being able to manipulate one space at a time. While we’re watching the early stages of the fight, it doesn’t occur to us why Midnight doesn’t simply bend Erza’s body instead of his armor--his powers are still mostly unclear to us, and he isn’t pursuing a strategy of his own, just his sadism. After we realize why though, we also realize that this makes sense and was hinted at--when Erza requips into a different armor, Midnight doesn’t change tactics and bend her body, but continues bending her armors, hinting that he can’t affect her body directly. The second weakness is only manipulating one space--this one’s a lot clearer. When Erza manages to throw a sword past her twisted armor, Midnight uncharacteristically dodges it nonchalantly, coolly but still in contradiction to his recent refusal to move an inch from any incoming attack. It’s definitely meant to draw the eye, but it’s not clear to us why he does it until we’re told, and then we again realize that it was obvious all along: while he was bending her armor, he couldn’t bend the space around himself. Since Erza came to these conclusions before the audience did, but the audience can still come to those same conclusions after the fact with no issues, Erza comes off as an intelligent fighter who was able to spot and take advantage of weaknesses that others couldn’t or didn’t.

Bad example: Zeref in one of the latest chapters, and generally the entire Alvarez Empire arc. In his confrontation with Gray, he claims to know a lot about Fairy Tail’s individual members and not only their magic, but their interpersonal relationships with one another and the effects they’ve had on one another’s lives. Again, we’re told of this, but what we’re shown doesn’t really add up. If Zeref were as well-researched as he claims to be, he wouldn’t currently be badly losing the war--that, or he just doesn’t care. But putting that to the side, he clearly did not use any available knowledge of Fairy Tail’s magics or relationships to use when arranging the Spriggan Twelve to combat them. He says outright that he was expecting Jellal or Laxus instead of Gray, despite knowing what any simpleton would know about Gray by this point: that he has a sealing spell and a suicidal streak and a tendency to utilize both at once. Rather than use Jacob’s potential as an invisible assassin and hamstring Fairy Tail, Jacob is instead allowed to waltz into the area and announce his intentions. Whatever his lack of concern for Larcade, the fact remains that Larcade proved very vulnerable to Sting’s being a White Dragonslayer. It even extends to non-Fairy Tail matters. Despite knowing Acnologia is out to slaughter dragonslayers, he allowed Irene Belserion, one of his strongest assets and not really one he could afford to lose, around him and even to engage him in combat. The loss of God Serena can be attributed to the same lack of care taken when dealing with Acnologia and dragonslayers. Zeref’s intelligence and surveillance skills come off as another informed quality. 

Good example: Hades’ utilization of Azuma when it comes to attacking Fairy Tail on Tenrou Island. Even assuming that his Seven Kin couldn’t wipe out Fairy Tail unaided (and they probably could have), he sends Azuma ahead first because Azuma’s unique and distinct abilities allow him to turn Fairy Tail’s greatest advantage into their greatest weakness. The Tenrou tree not only amplifies Fairy Tail’s magic power, but actually keeps them alive and breathing even if they’re on death’s door, effectively making them immortal as long as they’re on the island. But by merging with it and taking control of those specific magic effects, Azuma is able to cancel and reverse them. Even had Erza won the fight fair and square (she didn’t), her victory would have meant nothing had Azuma not returned Fairy Tail’s magic of his own accord, meaning if not for traitorous altruisim on Azuma’s part, Hades’ plan would’ve gone off without a hitch and he comes off as a smart strategist for it. Even the other Kin members, unlike Ivan’s woefully ill-equipped Raven Tail, seem almost tailor-made to take out Fairy Tail members. Zancrow’s godslaying flames are a critical weakness to Natsu, one of the guild’s strongest members. Ultear’s Arc of Time makes Gray’s Ice Make magic almost completely useless--and this would hold true also for pretty much any of the mages on the island, including Erza for instance, or Gildarts, or Freed, etc. Caprico/Zoldeo has already proven himself able to subjugate Celestial Spirits, proving to be a capable adversary to Lucy Heartfilia, another strong member, and her allies. Meredy’s ability to sensory link allows her to handicap almost any opponent, and her ability to induce blinding pain regardless of material or mass allows her to damage opponents like Juvia Lockser, who are normally immune to physical attacks. Going back to Azuma: again, the audience doesn’t pick up on this until it’s made clear to them, but once it is, it seems obvious. We know from the moment Azuma is introduced that he can merge with trees, and we know already that Tenrou Island has a massive tree at its center. It isn’t until we start to hear about the Tenrou Tree’s magic properties that we might even be suspicious of what Azuma’s really there for, especially as Azuma has no prior history with Fairy Tail and no overt motivation to arrive first. 

If the audience cannot make sense of the conclusions your character comes to or how, then the character you are trying to play off as incredibly smart or tactical will come off as instead having an informed flaw: sure, we hear you talking about it, but as far as we see, they’re no smarter than anyone else. It will become especially blatant if, as in Mavis’ and Zeref’s cases, your characters do blatantly stupid things that go against their informed traits. 

[aion-rsa]

Upcoming Must-See Movies in 2021

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It’s 2021. Finally. If you’re reading this, it means you’ve hopefully gotten through the wreckage of last year unscathed and are ready for a brighter future. And if you’re also a movie lover, this certainly includes a trip (or 20) back to the cinemas.

Sure, theaters were technically open in some places last fall, but the moviegoing season has largely remained dormant since March 2020. Yet given good news about vaccines starting to become available, and an absolutely stacked 2021 movie release calendar, we have reasons to be cautiously optimistic.

Indeed, 2021 promises many of the most anticipated films from last year, plus new surprises. From the superhero variety like Black Widow to the art house with Wes Anderson’s The French Dispatch, 2021 could be a much needed respite. So below is just a sampling of what to expect from the year to come…

The Little Things

January 29

One of the year’s earliest high profile releases is also the first of WB’s film slate on HBO Max. The Little Things is a serial killer thriller in the old school mold. It also boasts a brutally talented cast that includes Denzel Washington and Rami Malek as the detectives, and Jared Leto as the killer. As the latest movie from John Lee Hancock (The Founder, The Alamo), this looks like the type of star-led seediness that used to dominate the multiplex.

Maclolm and Marie

February 5

Assassination Nation writer-director Sam Levinson returns for a decidedly stripped down and intimate character study about two people on the threshold of their lives changing–and perhaps splitting apart. With Zendaya and John David Washington in roles unlike anything we’ve seen the pair in before, they play a couple returning home after the premiere of Malcolm’s (Washington) first movie. He’s on the cusp of life-changing success as a director, but when confronted by Marie about past secrets and hard truths… the night takes a turn.

Judas and the Black Messiah

February 12

It’s kind of hard to wrap one’s head around the annual “Oscar race” in a year when little trophies don’t seem so damn important, but Warner Bros. feels strongly enough about this movie that it’s getting it into theaters and on HBO Max right in the thick of the pandemic-delayed awards season. And judging by the marketing, it’s bringing heat with it.

Shaka King directs and co-writes the story of Fred Hampton (Daniel Kaluuya), who became the chairman of the Illinois chapter of the Black Panther Party in the late 1960s and was murdered in cold blood by police in 1969. LaKeith Stanfield plays William O’Neal, a petty criminal who agreed to help the FBI take Hampton down. This promises to be incendiary, relevant material — and it’s almost here.

Minari

February 12

Lee Isaac Chung directs Steven Yeun–now fully shaking off his years as Glenn on The Walking Dead–in this semi-autobiographical film about a South Korean family struggling to settle down in rural America in the 1980s. Premiering nearly a year ago at the Sundance Film Festival, where it won both the U.S. Dramatic Grand Jury Prize and the U.S. Dramatic Audience Award, Minari had a quick one-week virtual release in December, with a number of critics placing it on their Top 10 lists for 2020.

Its story of immigration and assimilation currently has a perfect 100 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes, with critics lauding its heart, grace, and sensitivity. A few of ours also considered it among 2020’s best.

Nomadland

February 19

Utilizing both actors and real people, director Chloé Zhao (The Rider, Marvel’s upcoming Eternals) chronicles the lives of America’s “forgotten people” as they travel the West searching for work, companionship and community. A brilliant Frances McDormand stars as Fern, a woman in her mid-60s who lost her husband, her house, and her entire previous existence when her town literally vanished following the closure of its sole factory.

Zhao’s film quietly flows from despair to optimism and back to despair again, the hardscrabble lives of its itinerant cast (many of them actual nomads) foregrounded against often stunning–if lonely–vistas of the vast, empty American countryside.

I Care a Lot

February 19

A solid cast, led by Rosamund Pike, Peter Dinklage, Chris Messina, and Dianne Wiest, star in this satirical crime drama from director J. Blakeson (The Disappearance of Alice Creed). Pike plays Marla, a con artist whose scam is getting herself named legal guardian of her elderly marks and then draining their assets while sticking them in nursing homes. She’s ruthless and efficient at it, until she meets a woman (Wiest) whose ties to a crime boss (Dinklage) may prove too much of a challenge for the wily Marla. It was one of our favorites out of Toronto last year.

The Father

February 26

Anthony Hopkins gives a mesmerizing, and deeply tragic, performance as Anthony, an elderly British man whose descent into dementia is reflected by the film itself, which plays with time, setting, and continuity until both Anthony and the viewer can no longer tell what is real and what is not. Olivia Colman is equally moving as his daughter, who wants to get on with her own life even as she watches her father’s disintegrate in front of her.

We saw The Father last year at the AFI Fest and it ended up being a favorite of 2020; Hopkins is unforgettable in this bracing, heartbreaking work, which is stunningly adapted by first-time director Florian Zeller from his own award-winning play.

Chaos Walking

March 5

This constantly postponed sci-fi project has become one of those “we’ll believe it when we see it” films until it actually comes out. Shot nearly three and a half years ago by director Doug Liman, Chaos Walking has undergone extensive reshoots and was at one point reportedly deemed unreleasable.

Based on the book The Knife of Letting Go, it places Tom Holland (Spider-Man: Far From Home) and Daisy Ridley (The Rise of Skywalker) on a distant planet where Ridley, the only woman, can hear the thoughts of all the men due to a mysterious force called the Noise.

Raya and the Last Dragon

March 5

Longtime Walt Disney Animation Studios head of story, Paul Briggs (Frozen), will make his directorial debut on this original Disney animated fantasy, which draws upon Eastern traditions to tell the tale of a young warrior who goes searching for the world’s last dragon in the mysterious land of Kumandra. Cassie Steele will voice Raya while Awkwafina (The Farewell) will portray Sisu the dragon.

Disney Animation has been nearly invincible in recent years with other hits like Moana and Zootopia, so watch for this one to be another major hit for the Mouse.

Coming 2 America

March 5

The notion of whether nostalgia-based properties are still viable has cropped up repeatedly in the last few years. However, streaming, which is where Coming 2 America finds itself headed post-COVID, makes golden oldies much safer. This sequel—based on a 32-year-old comedy that was one of Eddie Murphy’s most financially successful hits—sees Murphy back as Prince Akeem, of course, along with Arsenio Hall returning as his loyal friend Semmi.

The plot revolves around Akeem’s discovery, just as he is about to be crowned king, that he has a long-lost son living in the States (we’re not sure how that happened, but let’s just go with it). That, of course, necessitates another visit to our shores—that is, if Akeem and Semmi presumably don’t get stopped at the border. The film reunites Murphy with Dolemite is My Name director Craig Brewer, so perhaps they can make some cutting-edge social comedy out of this?

The King’s Man

March 12

This might be a weird thing to say: but has World War I ever seemed so stylish? It is with Matthew Vaughn at the helm.

An origin story of sorts for the organization that gave us Colin Firth and the umbrella, The King’s Man is a father and son yarn where Ralph Fiennes’ Duke of Oxford is reluctant about his son Conrad (Harris Dickinson) joining the war effort. But they’ll both be up to it as the Duke launches an intelligence gathering agency independent from any government. It also includes Gemma Arterton, Matthew Goode, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as charter members.

Oh, and did we mention they fight Rasputin?

Godzilla vs. Kong

March 26

Here we are, at last at the big punch up between Godzilla and King Kong. They both wear a crown, but in the film that Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures have been building toward since 2014, only one can walk away with the title of the king of all the monsters.

Admittedly, not everyone loved the last American Godzilla movie, Godzilla: King of the Monsters, but we sure did. Still, Godzilla vs. Kong should be a different animal with Adam Wingard (You’re Next, The Guest) taking over directorial duties. It also has a stacked cast with some familiar faces (Kyle Chandler, Millie Bobby Brown, and Ziyi Zhang) and plenty of new ones (Alexander Skarsgård, Eiza González, Danai Gurira, Lance Reddick, and more).

It’ll probably be better than the original, right? And hey with its HBO Max rollout, questions of a poor box office run sure are conveniently mooted!

No Time to Die

April 2

Nothing lasts forever, and the Daniel Craig era of James Bond is coming to an end… hopefully in 2021. In fact, delays notwithstanding, it’s a bit of a surprise Craig is getting an official swan song with this movie after the star said he’d rather “slash his wrists” before doing another one. Well, we’re glad he didn’t, just as we’re hopeful for his final installment in the tuxedo.

Director Cary Joji Fukunaga is a newcomer to the franchise, but that might be a good thing after how tired Spectre felt, and Fukunaga has done sterling work in the past on True Detective and Maniac. He also looks to bring the curtain down on the whole Craig oeuvre by picking up on the last movie’s lingering threads, such as 007 driving off into the sunset with Léa Seydoux’s Madeleine Swann, while introducing new ones that include Rami Malek as Bond villain Safin and Ana de Armas as new Bond girl Paloma. Yay for the Knives Out reunion!

Mortal Kombat

April 16

Not to be deterred by the relative failure of Sony’s Monster Hunter in theaters at the tail end of 2020, Warner Bros. is giving this venerable video game franchise another shot at live-action cinematic glory after two previous tries in the 1990s. Director Simon McQuoid makes his feature debut while the script comes from Dave Callaham (Wonder Woman 1984, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) and the cast includes a number of actors you’ve seen in other films but can’t quite place.

The plot? Who knows! But we’re guessing it will feature gods, demons, and warriors battling for control of the 18 realms in various fighting tournaments. What else do you want?

A Quiet Place Part II

April 23

The sequel to one of 2018’s biggest surprises, A Quiet Place Part II comes with major expectations. And few may hold it to a higher standard than writer-director John Krasinski. Despite (spoiler) the death of his character in the first film, Krasinski returns behind the camera for the sequel after saying he wouldn’t. The story he came up with apparently was too good to pass up.

The film again stars Emily Blunt as the often silenced mother of a vulnerable family, which includes son Marcus (Noah Jupe) and deaf daughter Regan (Millicent Simmonds). However, now that they know how to kill the eagle-eared alien monsters who’ve taken over their planet, the cast has grown to include Cillian Murphy and Djimon Hounsou. While the film has been delayed due to the coronavirus outbreak, trust us that it’ll be worth the wait. Is it finally time for… resistance?

Last Night in Soho

April 23

Fresh off the success of 2017’s Baby Driver (his biggest commercial hit to date), iconoclastic British director Edgar Wright returns with what is described as a psychological and possibly time-bending horror thriller set in London. Whether this features Wright’s trademark self-aware humor remains to be seen, but since the film is said to be inspired by dread-inducing genre classics like Repulsion and Don’t Look Now, he might be going for a different effect this time.

The cast, of course, is outstanding: upstarts Anya Taylor-Joy (Queen’s Gambit) and Thomasin McKenzie (Jojo Rabbit) will face off with Matt Smith (Doctor Who), and British legends Diana Rigg and Terence Stamp. And the truth is we’re never going to miss one of Wright’s movies. Taylor-Joy talked to us here about finding her 1960s lounge singer voice for the film.

Black Widow

May 7

Some would charitably say it arrives a decade late, but Black Widow is finally getting her own movie. This is fairly remarkable considering she became street pizza in Avengers: Endgame, but this movie fits snugly between the events of Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War. It also promises to be the most pared down Marvel Studios movie since 2014’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and that’s a good thing.

In the film, Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha Romanoff is on the run after burning her bridges with the U.S. government and UN. This brings her back to the spy games she thought she’d escaped from her youth, and back in the orbit of her “sister” Yelena (Florence Pugh). Old wounds are ripped open, old Soviet foes, including David Harbour as the Red Guardian and Rachel Weisz as Nat and Yelena’s girlhood instructor, are revealed, and many a fight sequence with minimal CGI will be executed.

How’s that for a real start to Phase 4? Of course that’s still assuming this comes out before The Eternals after it was delayed, again, due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Spiral

May 21

Chris Rock has co-written the story for a new take on the Saw franchise. Never thought we’d write those words! The fact that it also stars Rock, as well as Samuel L. Jackson, is likewise head-turning. It looks like they’re going for legitimate horror with Darren Lynn Bousman attached to direct after helming three of the Saw sequels, and its grisly pre-COVID trailer from last year.

Hopefully this will be better than most of the franchise that came before, and given the heavily David Fincher-influenced tone of the first trailer, we’re willing to cross our fingers and play this game.

Free Guy

May 21

What would you do if you discovered that you were just a background character in an open world video game—and that the game was soon about to go offline? That’s the premise of this existential sci-fi comedy from director Shawn Levy, best known for the Night at the Museum series and as an executive producer and director on Stranger Things. Ryan Reynolds stars as Guy, a bank teller who discovers that his life is not what he thought it was, and in fact isn’t even real—or is it? We’ve seen a preview of footage, so we’d suggest you think Truman Show, if Truman was trapped in Grand Theft Auto.

F9

May 28

Just when you thought this never-say-die franchise had shown us everything it could possibly dream up, it ups the stakes one more time: the ninth entry in the Fast and Furious saga (excluding 2019’s Hobbs and Shaw) will reportedly take Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his cohorts into space as they battle Dom’s long-lost brother Jakob (John Cena, making a long-overdue debut in this series). Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Jordana Brewster, Helen Mirren, and Charlize Theron all also return, as does director Justin Lin, who took a two-film break from his signature series. Expect to see the required physics-defying stunts, logic-defying action and even more talk about “family” than usual.

Cruella

May 28

Since Disney has already made an animated 101 Dalmatians in 1961 and a live-action remake in 1996, it is apparently time to tell the story again Maleficent-style. Hence we now focus on the viewpoint of iconic villainess Cruella de Vil, played this time by Emma Stone. She’s joined in the movie by Emma Thompson, Paul Walter Hauser, and Mark Strong, with direction handled by Craig Gillespie (sort of a step down from 2017’s I, Tonya, if you ask us).

The story has been updated to the 1970s, but Cruella–now a fashion designer–still covets the fur of dogs for her creations. This is a Mouse House joint, so don’t expect it to get too dark, and don’t be completely surprised if it ends up as a premium on Disney+ in lieu of its already delayed theatrical release.

Infinite

May 28

This sci-fi yarn from director Antoine Fuqua (The Equalizer) stars Mark Wahlberg as a man experiencing what he thinks are hallucinations, but which turn out to be memories from past lives. He soon learns that there is a secret society of people just like him, except that they have total recall of their past identities and have acted to change the course of history throughout the centuries.

Based on the novel The Reincarnationist Papers by D. Eric Maikranz, this was originally a post-Marvel vehicle for Chris Evans. He dropped out, and the combination of Fuqua and Wahlberg hints at something more action-oriented than the rather cerebral premise suggests. The film also stars Sophie Cookson, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Dylan O’Brien.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

June 4

James Wan is already directing a new horror film this year so he’s stepping away from the directorial duties on the third film based on the paranormal investigations of Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga). That task has fallen to Michael Chaves (The Curse of La Llorona), so expect plenty of the same Wan Universe touches: heavy atmosphere, superb use of sound, and shocking, eerie visuals.

Details are scarce, but the plot—like the other two Conjuring films—is taken from the true-life case of a man who went on trial for murder and said as his defense that he was possessed by a demon when he committed his crimes. That’s all we know for now, except that, intriguingly, Mitchell Hoog and Megan Ashley Brown have been cast as younger versions of the Warrens.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

June 11

With the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot criticized (fairly) for its lack of imagination and castigated (unfairly as hell) for its all-female ghost-hunting crew, director Jason Reitman–finally cashing in on the family name by returning to the brand his dad Ivan directed to glory in 1984–has crafted a direct sequel to the original films.

Read more

Books

Ghostbusters: Afterlife – Who is Ivo Shandor?

By Gavin Jasper

Movies

The Greatest Movie Sequels Never Made

By Jack Beresford

Set 30 years later, Afterlife follows a family who move to a small town only to discover that they have a long-secret connection to the OG Ghostbusters. Carrie Coon (The Leftovers), Finn Wolfhard (Stranger Things) and Paul Rudd (Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania) star alongside charter cast members Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, and, yes, Bill Murray.

In the Heights

June 18

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first Broadway hit musical gets the big screen treatment (by way of HBO Max) from director Jon M. Chu (Crazy Rich Asians). Set in Washington Heights over the course of a three-day heat wave, the plot and ensemble cast carry echoes of both Rent and Do the Right Thing. While a success on the stage—if not quite the cultural phenomenon that Miranda’s next show, Hamilton—it remains to be seen whether In the Heights can strike a chord with streaming audiences.

Luca

June 18

Continuing its current run of all-new, non-sequel original films started in 2020 with Onward and Soul, Pixar will unveil Luca this summer. Directed by Enrico Casarosa–making his feature debut after 18 years with the animation powerhouse–the film tells the story of a friendship between a human being and a sea monster (disguised as another human child) on the Italian Riviera. That’s about all we have on it for now, except that the cast includes Drake Bell and John Ratzenberger.

Pixar’s recent track record has included masterpieces like Inside Out, solid sequels like Toy Story 4, and shakier propositions like The Incredibles 2, but we don’t have any indication yet of what to expect from Luca.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

June 25

Can anyone honestly say that 2018’s Venom was a “good” movie? A batshit insane movie, yes, and perhaps even an entertaining one in its own nutty way, but good or not, it made nearly a billion bucks at the box office so here we are.

Tom Hardy will return to peel more scenery down with his teeth as both Eddie Brock and his fanged, towering alien symbiote while Woody Harrelson will fulfill his destiny and play Cletus Kasady, aka Carnage, the perfected hybrid of psychopathic serial killer and red pile of vicious alien goo. Let the carnage begin!

Top Gun: Maverick

July 2

It’s been 34 years since Tom Cruise first soared through the skies as hotshot pilot Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, and he’ll take to the air once more in a sequel that also features Val Kilmer, Jennifer Connelly, Miles Teller, Jon Hamm, and more. The flying and action sequences from director Joseph Kosinski (who worked with Cruise on Oblivion) will undoubtedly be first-rate, but the studio (Paramount) has to be nervous after seeing one nostalgia-based franchise after another (Blade Runner, Charlie’s Angels, Terminator, The Shining) crash and burn recently.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

July 10

With Shang-Chi, Marvel Studios hopes to do for Asian culture what the company did with the groundbreaking Black Panther nearly three years ago: create another superhero epic with a non-white lead and a mythology steeped in a non-Western culture. Simu Liu stars in the title role as the “master of kung fu,” who must do battle with the nefarious Ten Rings organization and its leader, the Mandarin (the “real” one, not the imposter from Iron Man 3, played here by the legendary Tony Leung). Director Destin Daniel Cretton (Just Mercy) will open up a whole new corner of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with this story and character, whose origins stretch back to 1973.

The Forever Purge

July 9

One day nearly eight years ago, you went to see a low-budget dystopian sci-fi/horror flick called The Purge, and the next thing you know, it’s 2021 and you’re getting ready to see the fifth and allegedly final entry in the series (which has also spawned a TV show). Written by creator James DeMonaco and directed by Everardo Gout, the film will once again focus on the title event, an annual 12-hour national bacchanal in which all crime, even murder, is legal. How this ends the story, and where and when it falls into the context of the rest of the films, remains a secret for now. Filming was completed back in February 2020, with the film’s release delayed from last summer by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Space Jam: A New Legacy

July 16

There are two types of folks when it comes to the original Space Jam of 1996: those who were between the ages of three and 11 when it came out, and everyone else. In one camp it is an unsightly relic of ‘90s cross-promotional cheese; in the other, it’s a sports movie classic. Luckily for kids today, NBA star LeBron James was 11 for most of ’96, and he’s bringing back the hoops and the Looney Tunes in Space Jam: A New Legacy.

The film will be among the many Warner Bros. pics premieres on HBO Max and in theaters this year, and it will see King James share above-the-title credits with Bugs Bunny. All is as it should be.

Uncharted

July 16

An Uncharted movie has been a long time coming. How long you might ask? Well, when the idea of an Uncharted movie first started getting bandied around Hollywood, the earliest game in the series just launched to rave reviews in the PlayStation 3’s first year. We’re now on PlayStation 5(!), and Mark Wahlberg has gone from angling to play young hero Nathan Drake to starring his wisecracking sidekick, Victor “Sully” Sullivan.

Still, we’re here with an Uncharted movie finally in the can. Directed by Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland, Venom), the video game movie stars everyone’s favorite web-head, Tom Holland, as Drake, a pseudo-modern day Indiana Jones. Whether it lives up to that older franchise’s storied legacy remains to be seen (especially given its gaming roots), but one thing’s for sure, Holland will get to show off more gymnast skill thanks to Uncharted’s famous parkour iconography.

The Tomorrow War

July 23

An original IP attempting to be a summer blockbuster? As we live and breathe. The Tomorrow War marks director Chris McKay’s first foray into live-action after helming The Lego Batman Movie. The film stars Chris Pratt as a soldier from the past who’s been “drafted by scientists” to the present in order to fight off an alien invasion overwhelming our future’s military. One might ask why said scientists didn’t use their fancy-schmancy time traveling shenanigans to warn about the impending aliens, but here we are.

Jungle Cruise

July 30

Disney dips into its theme park rides again as a source for a movie, hoping that the Pirates of the Caribbean lightning will strike once more. This time it’s the famous Adventureland riverboat ride, which is free enough of a real narrative that one has to wonder why some five screenwriters (at least) worked on the movie’s script.

Jaume Collet-Serra (The Shallows) directs stars Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt down this particular river, as they battle wild animals and a competing expedition in their search for a tree with miraculous healing powers. The comic chemistry between Johnson and Blunt is key here, especially if they really can mimic Bogie and Hepburn in the similarly plotted The African Queen. If they can sell that, Disney might just have a new water-based franchise to replace their sinking Pirates ship.

The Green Knight

July 30

David Lowery, the singular director behind A Ghost Story and The Old Man & the Gun, helmed a fantasy adaptation of the Arthurian legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. And his take on the material was apparently strong enough to entice A24 to produce it. Not much else is yet known about the film other than its cast, which includes Dev Patel, Alicia Vikander, Ralph Ineson, and Kate Dickie–and that it’s another casualty of COVID, with its 2020 release date being delayed last year. So this is one we’re definitely going to keep an eye on.

The Suicide Squad

August 6

Arguably the most high-profile of the WB films being transitioned to HBO Max, The Suicide Squad is James Gunn’s soft-reboot of the previous one-film franchise. It’s kind of funny WB went in that direction when the first movie generated more than $740 million, but when the reviews and word of mouth were that toxic… well, you get the guy who did Guardians of the Galaxy to fix things.

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TV

Peacemaker: Suicide Squad Spinoff With John Cena Coming to HBO Max

By Mike Cecchini

Movies

The Suicide Squad Trailer Promises James Gunn’s “1970s War Movie”

By David Crow

Elements from the original movie are still here, most notably Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn and Viola Davis’ Amanda Waller, but the film promises to be weirder, meaner, and also sillier. The first points are proven by its expected R-rating, and the latter is underscored by its giant talking Great White Shark. Okay, we’ll bite.

Deep Water

August 13

Seedy erotic thrillers and neo noirs bathed in shadows and sex are largely considered a thing of the past—specifically 1980s and ‘90s Hollywood cinema. Maybe that’s why Deep Water hooked Adrian Lyne (Fatal Attraction, Indecent Proposal) to direct. The throwback is based on a 1957 novel by the legendary Patricia Highsmith (The Talented Mr. Ripley), and it pits a disenchanted married couple against each other, with the bored pair playing mind games that leave friends and acquaintances dead. That the couple in question is played by Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas, who’ve since become a real life item, will probably get plenty of attention close to release.

Respect

August 13

Respect is the long-awaited biopic of the legendary Aretha Franklin, with the Queen of Soul herself involved in its development for years until her death in August 2018. Authorized biopics always make one wonder how accurate the film will be, but then again, Aretha had nothing to be ashamed of. Hers was a life well-lived, her voice almost beyond human comprehension, and the only thing now is to see whether star Jennifer Hudson (Franklin’s personal choice) and director Liesl Tommy (making her feature debut) can do the Queen justice.

Candyman

August 27

In some ways it’s surprising that it’s taken this long—28 years, notwithstanding a couple of sequels—to seriously revisit the original Candyman. Director Bernard Rose’s original adaptation of the Clive Baker story, “The Forbidden,” is still relevant and effective today. Back then, the film touched on urban legends, poverty, and segregation: themes that are still ripe for exploration through a genre touchstone today.

After her breathtaking feature directorial debut, Little Woods, Nia DaCosta helmed this bloody reboot while working from a screenplay co-written by Jordan Peele (Get Out). That’s a powerful combination, even before news came down DaCosta was helming Captain Marvel 2. And with an actor on-the-cusp of mega-stardom, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, picking up Tony Todd’s gnarly hook, this is one to watch out for.

The Beatles: Get Back

August 27

Peter Jackson seems to enjoy making films about what inspired him in his youth: The Lord of the Rings, King Kong, his grandfather’s World War I service informing They Shall Not Grow Old. So perhaps it was inevitable he’d make a film about the greatest youth icon of his generation, the Beatles. In truth, The Beatles: Get Back is a challenge to a previous documentary named Let It Be, and the general pop culture image it painted.

That 1970 doc by Michael Lindsay-Hogg zeroed in on the band’s final released album, Let It Be (although it was recorded before Abbey Road). Now, using previously unseen footage, Jackson seeks to challenge the narrative that the album was created entirely from a place of animosity among the bandmates, or that the Beatles had long lost their camaraderie by the end of road. Embracing the original title of the album, “Get Back,” Jackson wants to get back to where he thinks the band’s image once belonged.

Death on the Nile

September 17

Murder on the Orient Express (2017) became a surprise hit for director and star Kenneth Branagh. Who knew that audiences would still be interested in an 83-year-old mystery novel about an eccentric Belgian detective with one hell of a mustache? Luckily, Agatha Christie featured Poirot in some 32 other novels, of which Death on the Nile is one of the most famous, so here we are.

Branagh once again directs and stars as Poirot, this time investigating a murder aboard a steamer sailing down Egypt’s famous river. The cast includes Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Letitia Wright, Tom Bateman, Ali Fazal, Annette Bening, Rose Leslie, and Russell Brand. Expect more lavish locales, scandalous revelations, the firing of a pistol or two, and, yes, more shots of that stunning Poirot facial hair.

The Many Saints of Newark

September 24

The idea of a prequel to anything always fills us with trepidation, and re-opening a nearly perfect property like The Sopranos makes the prospect even less appetizing. But Sopranos creator David Chase has apparently wanted to explore the back history of his iconic crime family for some time, and there certainly seems to be a rich tapestry of characters and events that have only been hinted at in the series.

Directed by series veteran Alan Taylor (Thor: The Dark World), The Many Saints of Newark stars Alessandro Nivola as Dickie Moltisanti (Christopher’s father), along with Jon Bernthal, Vera Farmiga, Corey Stoll, Ray Liotta, and others. But the most fascinating casting is that of Michael Gandolfini—James’ son—as the younger version of the character with which his late dad made pop culture history. For that alone, we’ll be there on opening night… even if that just means HBO Max!

Dune

October 1

Could third time be the charm for Frank Herbert’s complex novel of the far future, long acknowledged as one of the greatest—if most difficult to read—milestones in all of science fiction? David Lynch’s 1984 version was, to be charitable, an honorable mess, while the 2000 Sci-Fi Channel miniseries was decent and faithful, but limited in scope. Now director Denis Villeneuve (Blade Runner 2049, Arrival) is pulling out all the stops—even breaking the story into two movies to give the proper space.

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Movies

Dune Trailer Breakdown and Analysis

By Mike Cecchini

Movies

What Alejandro Jodorowsky Thinks of the New Dune Trailer

By Mike Cecchini and 1 other

On the surface, the plot is simple: as galactic powers vie for control of the only planet that produces a substance capable of allowing interstellar flight, a young messiah emerges to lead that planet’s people to freedom. But this tale is dense with multiple layers of politics, metaphysics, mysticism, and hard science.

Villeneuve has assembled a jaw-dropping cast, including Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Josh Brolin, Stellan Skarsgård, Dave Bautista, Zendaya, Charlotte Rampling, Jason Momoa, and Javier Bardem, and if he pulls this off, just hand him every sci-fi novel ever written. Particularly, if relations between the director and WB remain strained…

Morbius

October 8

Following the monstrous (pun intended) success of Venom, Sony Pictures is making its second attempt to mine Spider-Man’s universe of villains with the dark tale of Dr. Michael Morbius (Jared Leto), whose efforts to cure himself of a fatal blood disease turn him instead into a blood-drinking anti-hero. Morbius has been lurking around the Marvel Comics canon since 1971, often either sparring or teaming with Spidey, and it remains uncertain whether he’s got the cache to carry a movie on his own. In addition, can Leto wash away the bad taste left behind by his tattooed and grilled Joker in Suicide Squad?

Halloween Kills

October 15

2018’s outstanding reboot of the long-running horror franchise—which saw David Gordon Green (Stronger) direct Jamie Lee Curtis in a reprise of her most famous role—was a tremendous hit. So in classic Halloween fashion, two more sequels were put into production (the second, Halloween Ends, will be out in 2022… hopefully).

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Movies

Halloween: A Legacy Unmasked

By David Crow

Movies

How Jason Blum Changed Horror Movies

By Rosie Fletcher

Curtis is back as Laurie Strode, along with Judy Greer as her daughter, Andi Matichak as her granddaughter, and Nick Castle sharing Michael Myers duties with James Jude Courtney. Kyle Richards and Charles Cyphers, meanwhile, will reprise their roles as Lindsey Wallace and former sheriff Leigh Brackett from the original 1978 Halloween (Anthony Michael Hall will play the adult version of Tommy Doyle). The plot remains a mystery, but we’re pretty sure it will involve yet another confrontation between Laurie and a rampaging Myers.

The Last Duel

October 15

What was once among the most anticipated films of 2020, The Last Duel is the historical epic prestige project marked by reunions: Ridley Scott returns to his passion for period drama and violence; Matt Damon and Ben Affleck work together for the first time in ages as both actors and writers; and the film also unites each with themes that were just as potent in the medieval world as today: One knight (Damon) in King Charles VI’s court accuses another who’s his best friend (Adam Driver) of raping his wife (Jodie Comer). Oh, and Affleck plays the King of France.

With obviously harrowing—and uncomfortable—themes that resonate today, The Last Duel is based on an actual trial by combat from the 14th century, and is a film Affleck and Damon co-wrote with Nicole Holofcener (Can You Ever Forgive Me?). It’s strong material, and could prove to be one of the year’s most riveting or misjudged films. Until then, it has our full attention.

Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

October 22

While the idea of a Hasbro Movie Universe seems to be kind of idling at the moment, corners of that hypothetical cinematic empire remain active. One such brand is G.I. Joe, which will launch its first spin-off in this origin story of one of the team’s most popular characters. Much of his early background remains mysterious, so there’s room to create a fairly original story while incorporating lore and characters already established in the G.I. Joe mythos.

Neither of the previous G.I. Joe features (The Rise of Cobra and Retaliation) have been much good, so we can probably expect the same level of quality from this one. Director Robert Schwentke (the last two Divergent movies) doesn’t inspire much excitement either. On the other hand, Henry Golding (Crazy Rich Asians) will star in the title role, and having Iko Uwais (The Raid) and Samara Weaving (Ready or Not) on board isn’t too bad either.

Eternals

November 5

Based on a Marvel Comics series by the legendary Jack Kirby, the now long-forthcoming Eternals centers around an ancient race of powerful beings who must protect the Earth against their destructive counterparts (and genetic cousins), the Deviants. Director Chloe Zhao (fresh off the awards season buzzy Nomadland) takes her first swing at epic studio filmmaking, working with a cast that includes Angelina Jolie, Gemma Chan, Kit Harington, Salma Hayek, Richard Madden, Brian Tyree Henry, and more.

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Movies

Upcoming Marvel Movies Release Dates: MCU Phase 4 Schedule, Cast, and Story Details

By Mike Cecchini and 1 other

Movies

The Incredible Hulk’s Diminished Legacy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

By Gavin Jasper

In many ways, Eternals represents another huge creative risk for Marvel Studios: It’s a big, cosmic ensemble film introducing an ensemble that the vast majority of the public has never heard of. But then, it’s sort of in the same position as Guardians of the Galaxy from way back in 2014, and we all know what happened there.

Elvis

November 5

Obviously we’ve all seen musical biopics before—too many after Walk Hard broke the formula down—but Elvis promises to be something different. A new passion project from Baz Luhrmann, the filmmaker behind Moulin Rouge!, Romeo + Juliet, and The Great Gatsby, Elvis is expected to be a radically stylized account of Elvis Presley’s rise to all shook up fame. With an impressive cast that includes Tom Hanks as manager “Colonel” Tom Parker and Kelvin Harrison Jr. as B.B. King, and with up-and-comer Austin Butler as the King of Rock and Roll himself, it should be a hell of a show.

King Richard

November 19

Will Smith’s King Richard promises to be a different kind of biographical film coming down the pipe. Rather than being told from the vantage of professional tennis playing stars Venus and Serena Williams, King Richard centers on their father and coach, Richard Williams. It’s an interesting choice to focus on the male father instead of the game-changing Black daughters, but we’ll see if there’s a strong creative reason for the approach soon enough. The film is directed by Reinaldo Marcus Green (Monsters and Men, Joe Bell).

Mission: Impossible 7

November 19

Once upon a time, the appeal of the Mission: Impossible movies was to see different directors offer their own take on Tom Cruise running through death-defying stunts. But then Christopher McQuarrie had to come along and make the best one in franchise history (twice). First there was Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation and then Mission: Impossible – Fallout. Now McQuarrie and company have set up their own separate quartet of films with recurring original characters like new franchise MVP Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) across four films.

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Movies

Audio Surfaces of Tom Cruise Raging on the Set of Mission: Impossible 7

By Kirsten Howard

Movies

Mission: Impossible 7 – What’s Next for the Franchise?

By David Crow

Thus enters M:I7, the third McQuarrie joint in the series and first half of a pair of incoming sequels filmed together. The first-half of this two-parter sees the whole crew back together, including Cruise’s Ethan Hunt, Ilsa, Benji (Simon Pegg), Luther (Ving Rhames), and CIA Director Erika Sloane (Angela Bassett). They’re also being joined by Hayley Atwell and Pom Klementieff, but really we’re all just eager to see what kind of insane stunts they can do to top the HALO jump in the last one.

West Side Story

December 10

Steven Spielberg has just two remakes on his directorial resume: Always (1989) and War of the Worlds (2005). While the former is mostly forgotten and the latter was an adaptation of a story that has been filmed many times, his upcoming reimagining of West Side Story will undoubtedly be directly compared to Robert Wise’s iconic 1961 screen version of this classic musical.

A few numbers in previous films aside, Spielberg has never directed a full-blown musical before, let alone one associated with such powerhouse songs and dance numbers. His version, with a script by Tony Kushner, is said to stay closer to the original Broadway show than the 1961 film—but with its themes of love struggling to cross divides created by hate and bigotry, don’t be surprised if it’s just as hard-hitting in 2021. Certainly would’ve devastated last year….

Spider-Man 3

December 17

Sony has finally gotten to a “Spider-Man 3” again in their oft-rebooted franchise crown jewel (technically though this film is still untitled). That proved to be a stumbling block the first time it occurred with Tobey Maguire in the red and blues, but the company seems undaunted since Tom Holland’s third outing is expected to bring Maguire back—him and just about everyone else too.

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Movies

Spider-Man 3: Charlie Cox Daredevil Return Would Redeem the Marvel Netflix Universe

By Joseph Baxter

Movies

Spider-Man 3 Adds Benedict Cumberbatch’s Doctor Strange

By Joseph Baxter

With a multiverse plot ripped straight from the arguably best Spidey movie ever, 2018’s Into the Spider-Verse, Holland’s third outing is bringing back Maguire, Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man, Alfred Molina as Doc Ock, Jamie Foxx as Electro (eh), and probably more. It’s a Spidey crossover extravaganza that’s only missing a Spider-Ham. But just you wait…

The Matrix 4

December 22

Rebooting or continuing The Matrix series has always been a tough proposition. While the original Matrix film is one of the landmark achievements in science fiction and early digital effects filmmaking in the 1990s, its sequels were… less celebrated. In fact, directors Lily and Lana Wachowski were publicly wary about the idea of ever going back to the series. And yet, here we are with Lana (alone) helming a project that’s been a longtime priority for Warner Bros.

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Movies

The Matrix 4: Laurence Fishburne “Wasn’t Invited” to Reprise Morpheus Role

By John Saavedra

Movies

The Matrix 4 Already Happened: Revisiting The Matrix Online

By John Saavedra

The Matrix 4 also brings back Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Jada Pinkett Smith. This is curious since Reeves and Moss’ characters died at the end of the Matrix trilogy—and also because Laurence Fishburne’s Morpheus did not, yet he wasn’t asked back. We cannot say we’re thrilled about the prospect of more adventures in Zion after the disappointment of the first two sequels, but we’d be lying if we didn’t admit we’re still curious to see the story that brought Lana back to this future.

The French Dispatch

TBA

Wes Anderson has a new film coming out. Better still, it is another live-action film. While Anderson’s use of animation is singular, it’s been seven years since The Grand Budapest Hotel, which we maintain is one of the best movies of the last decade. Anderson  is working with Timothée Chalamet and Cristoph Waltz for the first time with this film, as well as several familiar faces including Saoirse Ronan, Willem Dafoe, Tilda Swinton, Léa Seydoux, Adrien Brody, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and, of course, Bill Murray.

The French Dispatch is set deep in the 20th century during the peak of modern journalism, it brings to life a series of fictional stories in a fictional magazine, published in a fictional French city. We suspect though, if Anderson’s last two live-action movies are any indication, it’ll have more than fiction on its mind–especially since it’s inspired by actual New Yorker stories, and the journalists who wrote them! We missed it in 2020, so here’s hoping it really does go to print in 2021!

Other interesting movies that may come out in 2021 but do not yet have release dates: Next Goal Wins, Don’t Worry Darling, Nightmare Alley, Antlers, Blonde, The Northman, Resident Evil, Red Notice, Those Who Wish Me Dead, Army of the Dead.

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