#after all we're friends. anyway its on you. and for my part ill just say that theres always room for you

[blearyfaced]

and since im here already

[runningfrom2am]

requiem // part six

summary: according to coriolanus snow, his best friend had the most beautiful voice in all of panem. she had been training her whole life constantly to get where she was; being up for a residency at the most elite opera house in all of panem. singing was her passion. her true love; and when that got stripped from her in a second, his world became a whole lot quieter. he loathed every minute of it.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.6k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: opera singer!mentor!reader (blink and you'll miss it), she's kind of a prodigy!! p cool imo, mute!reader, bestfriend!coryo, friends to lovers trope ooo, mentions of graphic violence early on (particularly the prologue) but after that it's pretty safe, depictions of ptsd/trauma, mental illness and minor suicidal ideation but at least she's not entirely alone, descriptions of minor medical treatments and use of medication.

a/n: omg hi i am finally back with a new part for this series!! kind of a filler but idk i still think it's cute :) enjoy!

also, reminder to follow @runningfrom2am-library and turn on my notifications there to join my taglist for this series!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board

two years earlier

"So, I'm thinking balloons over the whole ceiling of the foyer, gold and red- thoughts?" Your mother asks as you enter the threshold of your family's lake house.

"You say that like you haven't already ordered everything." You giggle in response, footsteps echoing across the tile as you step off the carpet of the grand entryway.

It was less of a "house" and more of a mansion, in Coriolanus' opinion.

He had been here countless times throughout the years and sporadically would spend the weekends here with you and your parents when you didn't want to be "bored" and "lonely" on the large lakefront property. Poor you, he always thought sarcastically, but would never voice it.

Regardless, he loved getting to come out here with you in the summers and occasionally for a day or two over the holidays when you could skate on the frozen lake. You had taught him how yourself, holding onto his hands at nine years old and skating backward in front of him while he channeled the look of a baby deer taking its first steps. Your little laugh and small words of encouragement were the only thing that kept him upright- most of the time.

But this time, it was summer, and he had been looking forward to this weekend for weeks. Not because he was all that excited about seeing your classmates who he had needed just as much of a break from as his studies, but more so because it was your birthday. Or, close enough to it.

Your sixteenth birthday, more specifically, and your parents were pulling out all the stops. Thus the balloons and your family's staff running around like their lives depended on it to get everything ready for the early afternoon when all the other guests would be arriving to stay for the night and the following morning.

"Okay, well, yes, I did, but I knew you would like it so it's fine." Your mother insists and you look over at Coryo, rolling your eyes behind her back. She was right, you didn't mind the red and gold, but it was no surprise you didn't have any say in the planning of your own birthday party. It was more for your parents than it was for you, anyway. More for the reputation of your family name, although, you didn't doubt that it would be fun.

"Come on." You whisper to your best friend, gently tugging on his shirt to pull him upstairs.

"Mom, we're going upstairs until the others get here!" You call over your shoulder, already running up the staircase.

"Yes, yes, I'll send someone for you when everything's ready. Just shout if you get hungry." She agrees mindlessly, already putting down bags of last-minute snacks you had picked up on the way.

"Thank you!" Coryo adds in as well as you pull him along.

She laughs softly and shakes her head. "Of course, Coriolanus. You kids have fun. Oh, and go ahead and leave your overnight stuff just in the sitting room upstairs!"

When your other classmates who were able to make the hour-long trip finally all made it out to the beach house, it quickly became bustling with life. The large floor-to-roof windows that spanned both stories of the home were pulled open completely, opening it out to the porch, the pool, and the lakefront. The music was loud, and your parents had set up every screen and projector on the property, inside and out, playing home videos of you when you were growing up. Most featured your performances, and you loved those, but your favourites were of you and your friends.

Coriolanus was a star in your home videos, undeniably. Some of the girls from your class were sitting on the back porch with virgin cocktails your parents' staff had made, pointing out themselves in clips from school events and previous birthday parties and laughing at their younger selves.

Laying on the dock next to Coryo and Clemmie, you were laughing at the boys at the other end of the dock trying to shove each other off when your father's boat pulled back up next to you and he cut the engine.

"You want to go next, bird?" He calls to you as Festus and Pup stumble out of the boat, drenched from head to toe and dripping all over you and your towels.

You look over at Coryo, smiling hopefully at him and he nods, getting up quickly while you make the same effort to get Clemmie to come with you. "Clemmie, come on. The tube fits three people well enough." You tell her as you get up, pulling at your bathing suit to make sure it is still fitting right.

"No, no. I'm good. My parents say that's a death trap, and I believe it." She chuckles, waving her hand dismissively. "I'll be here. You two have fun."

"Suit yourself." You shrug, taking your father's hand as he helps you onto the boat, and Sejanus Plinth, who was already onboard and apparently decided to just stay, hands you a life jacket which you quietly thank him for.

"Clemensia, it's perfectly safe. I'll even go slow for you." Your father offers her as you zip yours up, watching Coryo do the same. Weirdly enough, you can't help but notice it looks good on him. Just about anything does, though.

"No thank you, I'm just fine right here. I'm not the best swimmer as it is." Your friend replies gratefully. "I prefer land."

"Alright, then, but we'll be doing trips all afternoon if you change your mind." He tells her, going back to the helm of the small speed boat reserved specifically for your tubing and wakeboarding and starting the engine up again.

The boat starts moving and you go over to the ship's radio, clicking it on again and turning it up to hear the music better over the sounds of rushing water as he takes you out deeper on the lake.

Once you're satisfied with the volume and the song, you climb up to the front of the boat to sit next to the two boys who are waiting. You weren't sure what they were talking about, making small talk most likely, knowing the both of them, but regardless it stopped when you sat down.

You enjoy the music and the spray of fresh water on your skin for a couple of minutes until you're far enough from the shores to stop.

You and Coryo both get up with a fair bit of excitement, having always loved going tubing with your father behind the wheel of the boat every summer.

"Sejanus, are you coming?" You ask hopefully as you and your friend throw the large inflatable off the back of the boat and into the water, pulling the rope back so it's close enough to climb on.

He looks to your father, who nods encouragingly at him. He'd been on the boat for almost all of the afternoon but hadn't once actually got on the tube. It wasn't much of a secret that he wasn't very well-liked by other kids, but his parents had insisted that he attend your birthday, so he just decided to stay close to one of your parents.

"Um, okay. Sure." He replies quietly with a nervous nod.

Out of all of your classmates, he was the most comfortable with the two of you- being among some of the only kids who hadn't been mean to him in the past.

"Hold on tight." Your father tells him as you and Coryo get situated, laying on your stomachs next to each other and holding onto the handles by your heads and leaving enough room for Sejanus on your other side. "These two are professionals, I don't hold back like with the other kids." He says teasingly, giving you a knowing look.

He climbs on next to you while you hold onto the back of the boat for him, trying to keep it as steady as possible.

"Don't worry, it's gonna be fun." You say to him when you hear the motor start up again and you give your dad a thumbs up to start going.

"It does look like fun." Sejanus agrees quietly, and you can hardly hear him over the waves as the boat moves slowly away from you and the rope starts to unravel.

You turn to look at Coryo again, giving him a smile. "Here, let's switch handles." You suggest, letting go of one of yours and nudging his hand away from his to trade so your arms would overlap on the somewhat rough material that was known to give you both rug burns in the past. "That way we can keep each other on."

He nods, chuckling to himself as he complies, looping his hand under your handle and gripping on tight. "Yeah, we can definitely try."

You knew it wouldn't make much of a difference, but you liked the way his arm felt over yours; warm from the heat of the sun but somehow chilling you down to your bones.

The tube jerks to the right to catch up with the rope as your father's boat gets far enough away and begins to pull you, and you can feel Sejanus tense up beside you as you start to pick up speed.

"You gotta relax!" You call out to him over the rushing water, and he just looks at you with wide eyes as you continue straight for the time being. "Lean into it and you'll stay on easier!"

Sejanus didn't really listen. That much is clear when within a matter of minutes, hitting a corner and bouncing over the waves created by the boat, he tumbles right off the side.

You glance back over your shoulder to see that he's okay, but with the speed you're already moving and the turn your father makes to go back for him, that was a clear mistake.

You weren't paying attention when you hit the corner hard, swinging out behind the boat with the now uneven weight distribution, and before you know it the tube is flipping completely and rolling fast over the surface of the water.

Coryo hears you scream as you suddenly disappear from his side, which only makes it flip faster. He somehow holds on, but not without a blinding pain in his hand and up his arm as it gets caught in the handle that wasn't his, and then he's quickly surrounded by the blue of the lake as well.

You're giggling when your father circles back to you after helping Sejanus out of the water, and you can still see Coryo a ways away. You never realized how fast you were going until you both got thrown off, and you were usually very far away in the water.

Climbing up onto the boat and dripping wet, you pull the tube back up to the boat and hold on to the rope while your father steers you over to your friend, his blonde curls soaked and clinging to his forehead, almost completely covering his eyes.

"Coryo!" You call out as you get closer, laughing through your words. You get closer to the back ladder, prepared to help pull him out. He doesn't respond, though he's looking at you, and you realize quickly that he's ghostly pale- more so than usual, and he's clutching his hand to his chest. "Hey, you okay?" You ask, your smile fading quickly as you lean over the edge to reach for him.

He nods stiffly, and when he reaches out to take your hand, you notice that he's trembling.

"Are you hurt? What's wrong?" You ask, and you quickly hear your father's steps behind you.

"I- um..." You can tell as you try and help him up that he's embarrassed to admit that something's wrong- though he doesn't need to be.

"Dad?" You begin to ask for help, worry seeping into your tone, but he's already there. He gently nudges you out of the way and reaches into the water to pull Coryo out, which, is decently easy for him to do. He was always a skinny kid, and right now you were grateful for that.

"You okay, son? Let me see that." Your father says once Coryo gets his footing, still holding his hand close to his chest.

"You hurt your hand?" You ask when he doesn't move, just staring between you and your father with shock plastered all over his face.

He nods slightly, teeth chattering, and you hear that Sejanus must have turned down the music.

Your father gestures for him to show him his injured hand again, holding his own to take at it and look. "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just going to take a look."

Coryo looks at you for a split second before looking away again, carefully holding his hand out for your father to look at.

Your father decided after that that maybe that wasn't the best activity to take other people's kids on while they were under his supervision. Secretly, it's a relief that Coryo was the one who got injured from it- he was closer with your family than anyone else, and there likely wouldn't be someone showing up at your door within the week to press charges over a broken thumb. You were still worried, though.

You made quick work upon returning to dry land of hurrying upstairs to your room with him, arm wrapped around his waist as your father tied up the boat. It was only his hand that was injured, but you had never in your life seen someone so pale- Coryo looked like he could collapse at any minute. 

"Someone's grabbing ice for it, just sit down on the bed and I'll get you some water." You say as you guide him to sit on your bed that sat against the corner of the large room, only mildly aware of the shake in your voice and the panic you were quickly descending into.

"I-I'm okay, it's really not that big of a deal..." Coryo mutters and you shake your head, about to leave when your mother walks in in a hurry.

"I brought some ice, darling." She says as she brushes past you to sit next to him and you stand clear out of the way. You needed to give her the space to be a mother and help- you knew that much.

You look around for Coryo's overnight bag while she helps hold the ice pack wrapped in a dish towel to his hand, but you can't find it anywhere. "Mom, we left Coryo's stuff in here this morning, did any of the staff touch it?" You ask, hoping to find him a shirt to cover his shivering skin. The shock, the air conditioning of the house while still dripping wet, and the ice pack were not a friendly combination.

"Oh, I had it moved to the sitting room." She points to the door and your brow furrows slightly.

All your friends who were spending the night were sleeping in the sitting room, and there were beds and a projector screen set up in there with snacks for movies and everything, but you and Coryo were supposed to stay in here when it was time to actually go to sleep. "What? Why? We're sleeping in here."

Your mother shrugs. "I don't know, honey, I just feel that it's time that you both have some of your own space."

What she means is 'I don't think it's appropriate for the two of you to share a bed anymore.'

You and Coryo look at each other, only briefly, and it's only safe to assume that you're both feeling the same thing.

You had never been in less of a rush to grow up, and to be forced to grow apart.

no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!

[evienyx]

Hello! I adore your Concord fic so so much, to the point that it's actually now my favorite Sonic fic. Your characterization for Shadow is fantastic and I'm right there with you in thinking that movie Shadow wouldn't hide how much he likes Sonic or be mean to him, not after how much they bonded on the moon and during the fight afterward. Actually, your characterization for everyone is very on point, and Sonic is an absolute delight. I'm so sad that he and Maria never got to be friends for real, because Shadow (and you) is 100% right that they'd get along like a house on fire lol

Anyway, there's a song that I think fits Shadow and Sonic in Concord perfectly, and I wanted to share it with you! It's called "Stargazing" by Myles Smith, and I think it's especially fitting for this latest two chapters. :3

Also, I don't know much about the Superbowl, but I'm told that they do a lot of cool stuff during it other than just the game and that people have parties and stuff when they watch it, so I hope you had a fun time!

One of the most important things for this fic for me was making sure that the characterization for Shadow was Movie Shadow and not Games Shadow.

Now, of course, Movie Shadow is an adaptation of Game Shadow, there are a lot of similarities. However, his backstory is different, and more importantly his dynamic with Sonic is different. If we're being totally honest, in the movies at least, they don't even have the rivalry thing going on (yet at least). They were legit just straight-up enemies (reluctantly on Sonic's side until Shadow almost killed Tom and Sonic decided to lock in) until the conversation on the Moon, and from there they are (oddly in-sync) allies.

This is not to say I love Movie Shadow more than Game Shadow, I love the both of them for different reasons. Nor do I love Movie Sonadow more than Game Sonadow. They're both wonderful, and both have so much potential. It is very different potential from one another. Game Sonic would have to work double time to get that conversation out of Game Shadow compared to Movie Sonic who had it in all of two seconds. This is fine, and lovely to explore on its own, but it is important to me to acknowledge the difference and write these stories with the difference in mind.

I do plan on writing more fics for them, because oh lord this ship is so fun, and there are so many things that can be done with them. Obviously we've already got the more angsty fic that I'm planning for after Concord finishes (I'll release the first chapter on the same day as the last chapter of Concord), but even more than that I've got a few too many ideas sitting on a doc. I've got ideas for the movies, for the games, and even ones for complete AU fics that would probably use a blend of their personalities from both. I'm mentally ill.

Anyway, holy mother of god are you right about that song fitting them. It's actually kinda ridiculous, and makes me wish that I could draw at all because there is nothing I want more now than an animatic of the two of them with that song for this fic. I'm gonna be sick, thank you.

And, uh, yeah, the Superbowl has got kinda three big parts to it: Game, Half-Time, Commercials. The Game is the big final NFL American football game for the season to see who's the best team. It's the last game in the playoffs. Half-Time is when they have a super famous musical artist do a fifteen-ish minute show during the break that comes after the first half of the game. The Commercials are whatever ads play when you're watching at home, and they used to be really good, big productions with like storylines and stuff, but this year they weren't all very good, and I suspect it might be the use of A.I. but you didn't hear that from me.

I'm not a fan of either of the teams that were in the Superbowl this year (the Philadelphia Eagles and the Kansas City Chiefs), but I only vaguely dislike the Eagles and I really hate the Chiefs, so I was perfectly happy to see the Eagles win. Any love toward them is gone now that the game is over, though, and I am back to solely wanting to see my own team win.

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 64 ~ The Rain

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 5

✧ Word Count : 7k

In this chapter ~ Through the many hardships and struggles the group comes to face, none of them could've predicted that they would end up in this predicament. No food, no water, walking endlessly for miles while looking for nothing and everything at the same time. It seems all hope is lost...until it isn't.

If you were to ask how long we had been on the road now, constantly searching for sanctuary and a safe place to rest our heads at night, I wouldn't know what to tell you. My guess would be about a month, hell, maybe even longer than that. Longest month of my life.

It's crazy how much can change in such a scarce amount of time, how little hope you have left in the end. Everyone around me was barely hanging on as we continued to make our way through life with no clear destination. Our food had dwindled down to nothing, our water being the next thing to hit the ground, not being able to find more no matter how long we looked. It was clear we all tried to remain strong, but the reality of it was, I had never felt so weak.

I had completely stopped sleeping, insomnia taking over my mind as I tossed and turned throughout the entire night until the sun peeked out from the horizon into yet another day. The others remained starving, but I didn't have much of an appetite anyway, finding it truly didn't matter for my sake anymore. Nothing really mattered anymore. Though the scorching, hot ball of fire beating down on us every day wasn't something any of us were getting used to. I remember a time where Bob was trying to be positive, preaching about how being in the sun all day would give you a nice tan. But the slight red burns on my skin would say otherwise.

My knees were tucked close to my chest, looking around to all of us crammed together in the white van as we drove down the long road ahead. Again, with no certain purpose. I was squished between Carl and Maggie, continuously knocking into one other with every bump and swerve of the car. I tried to adjust my position to give the others more room, specifically Daryl who sat right in front of me with his legs awkwardly crossed. We still had yet to speak. The only conversations we seemed to have were when he was reminding me to eat, or asking if I found any trace of water when it was my turn to search.

He was concerned for me, it was constantly etched on his face, but even that couldn't bring him to mention the two major losses that wounded me so badly. Truth be told I was glad he didn't. I was still content with being alone, being left by myself to grieve the friends I had cared so deeply for. It was easier that way. At least for me it was.

Maggie's subtle sniffles from just beside my ear brought my presence back to the current situation, fighting the urge not to look at her. She was someone else I found myself avoiding like an illness, still not being able to face her after what happened. Shame and guilt filled me to the brim every time I caught a glimpse. Though instinctively, my mind began to drift again as if it was trying to help me cope with the trauma, constantly finding myself zoning out. It was like a part of me was dying, a piece of my soul being ripped away from me. But the sad thing was, I didn't care.

Our heads all slowly turned to look up front where Abraham sat in the driver's seat, hearing the dreaded sound of the van running out of gas. The man groaned in clear aggravation as he then let out a deep sigh, turning the wheel all the way to the right to fully pull over before the vehicle came to its final halt.

"We're out." he muttered in defeat.

"So, we walk." Rick said from the passenger side.

I sighed and slowly pushed my aching muscles up to get out of the vehicle, following behind the rest of them. The sun was already beating down on my sore flesh as we leisurely walked in a line down the long path ahead of us now on foot. I felt disgusting as I looked down at my dirt covered clothes, silently praying to find a cool river to just jump into. If I did get any sleep at all, surely that was all I would dream about.

I trailed slowly behind Rick and Daryl who were leading the way, overhearing them speak quietly about the urgent need to find some kind of body of water, and soon. We all knew that we wouldn't last much longer without it, the heat only making it worse. We needed a miracle. But something like that just didn't exist these days, and hope seemed like a fever dream.

Though the moment I heard Judith begin to fuss in Rick's arms, Daryl making a comment about how she might've been thirsty, I had heard enough.

"I'm going to head out, see if I can find anything." I stated loud enough for them to hear, before turning to my right to stride towards the tree line.

But I hardly made it two steps before Rick's voice called out from behind me, "Hey!" he spoke, grasping my attention at the last second, "Don't stay out too long."

A slight huff left my lips in annoyance, "Yeah..." I muttered obviously before pushing past the branches to truck deeper into the dry forest.

My boots stomped lightly through the dirt as I passed by the plants surrounding me, trying to find any indication that there was water nearby. I didn't understand how everything for miles and miles could be so dry, no sign of any kind of life. Dead...I felt dead just like the world around me seemed to be. And just like the walkers that were only creeping closer to us as we moved.

The only thing that I seemed to have left was my family whom I couldn't even speak to anymore. It was almost like I was putting up some kind of wall, preparing myself in case something unexpected happened just like with Beth and Ty. Waiting around for the inevitable. I knew they were strong, capable of defending themselves, but that didn't really matter anymore. We all learned the hard way that it didn't matter how strong someone is. Everyone goes eventually.

I kept going, pushing past the bushes and greenery in my way until I made it out into a clearing, pausing as I glanced around to the ground ahead of me. But to no surprise, it wasn't any different from the results we had been seeing for weeks. I felt like pulling my hair out with the amount of frustration coursing through my body, watching the pattern of uncertainty just grow larger as nothing seemed to be working out the way it was supposed to. We had all come so far since that small group in Atlanta, and if this is how it all ended...I felt it would've all been for nothing.

Just then, the sound of sudden but heavy footsteps could be heard approaching from behind me, pushing past the things I had once come across as they tried to keep up. I didn't turn around, only letting out a quiet sigh of annoyance at his presence.

"Stop." I spoke.

The noise faltered immediately upon hearing my voice, slowly glancing over my shoulder to see Daryl standing a good distance away from me, almost like he was scared to get too close. But then again, I did tell him to stop.

"She speaks," he muttered in a quiet tone, "Almost forgot what yer voice sounded like."

At first I thought he was joking, using his humorless sarcasm at a terrible time. But the moment I heard the genuine concern and seriousness in his voice, I came to the conclusion he wasn't. He had actually forgotten what it was like to hear my voice, to speak to me, and to be honest I was starting to forget myself.

"Why're you out here?" I asked, choosing to ignore his comment.

He took a few hesitant steps closer, "...Didn't want ya to be alone."

My jaw clenched, feeling myself grow more irritated by his words, "Did it ever occur to you that I step away from everything else because I want to be alone?"

His expression didn't change from the permanent frown he seemed to constantly carry, standing there silently for a long moment before daring to speak again, "Can't have ya out here by yerself."

"I can handle myself, and you know that."

"Do I?" he countered back.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Yes." I spoke harshly.

He sighed to himself quietly, cautiously stepping forward again, "You can talk ta me." he tired, "There ain't ever been a time where I wouldn't listen to what ya have to say. Hell, you can just spit out a buncha words, I'll put em together, just...you gotta say somethin. Yer killin me here."

My mouth remained shut as I didn't know what he wanted from me, finding I had absolutely nothing to say as I just squirmed under his gaze that wasn't meant to be harsh. But that's how it felt. A pathetic scoff was the only thing that left my lips as I turned around to walk further into the forest, even though I knew nothing would come out of it. His gruff voice called my name the moment I stepped away, but I ignored him, to a point where his heavy footsteps approached heavier than last time, his hand landing on my shoulder to get me to stop.

I shrugged him off as soon as the feeling registered, "Don't." I snapped.

"Just listen to me." he all but pleaded, "Stop pushin me away, stop runnin off every chance ya get, just let me help you."

I clenched my fists at my sides, "Daryl, I don't need your help! Why can't you understand that? Why can't you fathom the fact that I don't need you! I just want to be left the hell alone!"

A flicker of hurt passed through his eyes, though it didn't quite reach the rest of his face. Almost like he didn't want me to see how hard my words hit him, but it was clear it affected him greatly. Of course it did.

"Well, I dunno what else to do. Feels like...yer just slippin away...from everyone who cares bout ya." he admitted quietly with a shake of his head.

I felt myself snap. "Then just let me go." I spoke harshly before brushing past his shoulder, heading back toward the others in the opposite direction.

My feet harshly slammed down on the ground below me, loud enough to send the noise echoing across the empty forest. Infuriation was radiating off of me, the feeling being so intense that I could've sworn my skin had tinted red at the fire the ignited in my veins. But even I couldn't escape the regret that hit me like a giant bus the minute I had put a vast ocean between us.

Tears flooded my eyes again as the words I expressed to him replayed in my mind, knowing damn well I didn't mean any of the things I said. He wasn't losing me and I never wanted him to think that. But the moment he expressed those words out loud, something just clicked inside my mind. I was terrified of losing him. I was terrified I was pushing him away to a point where if I went back to him, he would brush me aside. And rightfully so.

In the back of my mind, I knew deep down that wasn't true, but it still managed to cross my mind. I immediately wanted to turn back and tell him that I didn't mean it, apologize as many times as he needed to hear, but I was too embarrassed to even look at him. You would think after losing two people that completely shattered me, I wouldn't want to completely isolate myself from the family that remained. But somehow that's just the way it was. The only way I knew how to cope when everything around me was only crumbling further.

While my thoughts were somewhat distracting me, I made it back to the group faster than expected, coming back onto the road in slight shock to see the others standing on a small bridge surrounded by a shit ton of dead walkers. They all breathed heavily as I assumed they took them all on, apparently sick of them hot on our trail. But everyone's attention seemed to be towards Sasha with glares plastered on their faces, watching as Michonne stormed up to her in anger.

"I told you to stop!" she snapped.

"What the fuck happened?" I asked loudly, watching everyone's eyes whip toward me.

They all looked at me like I had two heads, but I still stood there expectantly as I wanted to know what the hell went down in the obvious shit show. But Rick was the only one who made an attempt to answer, shaking his head reassuringly.

"Nothing," he said quietly, "Find anything?"

I took a second to look around at the rest before my eyes landed on Rick again and I shook my head, "No...too dry." I answered in slight defeat.

The disappointment grew thicker, the hope diminishing, picking ourselves up to continue the journey as we put some distance between us and the dead corpses that piled on the concrete. Sasha looked angry and pained, knowing that she too was grieving in her own way after losing her brother. But by the looks of it, she was going to get everyone killed with her actions. I saw how reckless she had become in the past few weeks, though I always brushed it off as I viewed it as her way of coping. But now that it was affecting the others, I was worried it might turn into a problem.

Nonetheless, we continued to move. It felt like that's all we were doing these days, but there was no "better on the other side," it was just this. It would always be this. I couldn't find hope that we would come across someplace safe, finding the prison when we did was just pure luck that we no longer seemed to hold. All we could do was keep going.

I walked mindlessly in the middle of the swarm, feeling a presence moving beside me as they kept up with my sluggish pace. My eyes trailed over to see Abraham, his eyes filled with concern, handing me a bottle of water to take a swig of. I silently shook my head at him, but he gave me a pointed look in return before picking up my arm himself and lightly shoved the water bottle into my hand to take. Clearly he was insistent without even saying a word. But the silent scolding seemed to work as I took a drink of the liquid, noticing the cut he now had on his arm, the fresh blood being a dead giveaway that it happened recently.

I pointed to it, "What happened?"

He raised an eyebrow at the sound of my voice, huffing a small breath, "Uh, Sasha cut me while she was..." he trailed off with a gesture of his hand.

I nodded in silent understanding, seemingly not thinking twice before I reached back in the side pocket of my bag, pulling out a clean cloth before pouring a little water to dampen it. The man tried to protest but the damage was already done, raising it up to his arm to try and wipe the blood off, attempting to clean it at least a little.

"Thanks." he muttered quietly.

I nodded again as I handed the bottle back, continuing to walk side by side. Though I couldn't help but notice the side glances I received from him every few seconds as the quiet consumed us. "Do I have something on my face?" I deadpanned.

He shook his head, "No. It's just...we're all real worried about ya."

"Yeah, I got that." I said without taking my eyes off the scenery, "I'm not the only one struggling here, we're all just about as defeated as the rest."

His head bobbed up and down with a nod out of the corner of my eye, silently agreeing with me, "Okay, sure... but if you ever need a listening ear...I'm around." he said honestly.

The sincerity of his words caused me to look back over at him, "You barely know me." I muttered a bit defensively.

"Doesn't matter." he was quick to say.

I couldn't find the words to respond to his selflessness, but my eyes must've shown some type of appreciation because he looked pretty pleased with himself at the reaction he got out of me. From just the few conversations we had ever since we were first introduced, Abraham seemed okay, but that was all I really gathered. I didn't really believe that he cared about anyone else here but his own two people. But somehow, he just managed to prove me wrong in the best way possible. Maybe he was a little more than okay.

It wasn't long before the group collectively slowed to a halt when we came across a few cars scattered on the side of the road, all of us silently knowing the drill by now, beginning to pick through them for any kind of supplies. Though I caught a small glimpse of Daryl speaking to Carol for a moment, before slowly slipping away back into the forest. My guess was he left to find food, or really anything he was able to bring back to the rest.

My eyes followed his figure until they couldn't anymore, a part of me yearning to follow him so we could talk, but I didn't know what I would say. That I was sorry? But I shouldn't be sorry, feeling it wasn't my fault that my mind was constantly clouded in this depressive state. However, it was my fault for how I yelled at him, saying many things that were far from the truth.

Though after debating back and forth in my mind, I stayed put, knowing that he left the others for a reason. To have some space.

My mind wandered off as I absentmindedly moved toward a nearby vehicle, peering inside to see if there were any kind of supplies left. Of course there was close to nothing, but the keys dangling from the ignition sparked an idea to look in the truck that I noticed had a lock. I treaded back towards the other end of the car with the item in hand, sticking the key inside to crank it to the left, opening it up to see what lied inside.

But my eyes only widened with horror when I saw the weakened walker that was trapped inside, my stomach churning uncomfortably. Her hands and feet were tied up to keep her in place, a cloth covering her mouth to keep it from screaming for help from when she was once alive. Deja-vu ran through me like a shiver, causing goosebumps to form on my skin as my hands stayed firmly planted on either side of the car.

I couldn't leave her like this, feeling as if I had to end her suffering as if she was still somehow alive.

My hand slowly reached for one of my knives before I pulled it out swiftly, hesitating for a moment or two before leaning forward to stab her in the forehead, silencing her muffled snarls. I swallowed thickly before closing the trunk again with a slam, trying to collect myself as if what I had just seen didn't affect me as much as it did.

In the end, no one had found a thing, the cars having nothing of value as someone else had probably cleared these things out ages ago. Thus the journey continued, the atmosphere oddly silent as I felt myself mindlessly staring down at the ground below, kicking rocks beneath my feet as I became hyper fixated on my shoelaces. My mind was plagued with a million thoughts, but yet none of them came clearly. It was as if I was too tired to even think.

Hours passed us by before we all collectively settled down on the side of the road, taking a much-needed break as we got of our feet for a while. The first type of rest we'd gotten since this morning. I scanned the people around me as if mentally doing a headcount when I realized Daryl hadn't come back yet. But in a way, it gave me hope. Maybe he found some tracks to follow and we could actually have a real meal for the first time in weeks.

But after only a few minutes of holding onto that bit of hope, it was suddenly squashed when he eventually found us, emerging from the trees. Safe but empty handed.

He practically dragged his feet as he walked over to join us and took a seat, plopping down on the cement right in front of me, pulling out his crossbow to tinker with to avoid my gaze. I eyed him for a moment, but only a moment, seeing how drained he seemed and how dirt seemed to cling to every bit of skin that was exposed. Yet somehow, he still looked incredible, his arms flexing as he pulled at certain parts of his weapon.

"So, all we found was booze?" Tara's voice suddenly broke me away from my thoughts.

My eyes moved over to see what she was talking about, glancing back at Abraham who seemed to have found some whiskey in one of the cars we searched through. The man gulped down the majority of it like it was the water we needed, but I just knew by the face he made that it wasn't clenching his thirst like he hoped it would.

"Yeah." Rosita said simply.

Tara eyed the man just as I was, watching and witnessing the expressions he made as he continued to sip it down, "It's not going to help. Just make it worse." she said quietly.

"He knows that." Rosita said.

"He's a grown man." Eugene chimed in, "I truly do not know if things can get worse."

I looked over in their direction, "Just wait...it can." I muttered.

No one said a word after that, though I could tell by the looks they had on their faces that they knew I had a point. We had only gone downhill for days and days on end, leaving none of us looking on the bright side because we truly didn't know if there was one. How could there be when everything around us had just suddenly turned to shit.

Although the peacefulness didn't last long, our heads all whipping up at the sound of growling coming from just beyond the forest. The sound wasn't as familiar, none that a walker could've made at least, those were always very distinct. This was coming from an animal.

As if on cue, four dogs cautiously made their way out of the shadows with lowered ears, starting to bark threateningly as they bared their teeth. I instinctively took out one of my knives in case they tried to attack, noting how everyone else seemed to tense up, not wanting to draw attention or make any sudden movements. The animals continued to growl with drool hanging down the sides of their mouth, their eyes completely blackened as if they were under some kind of possession. Though they never got the chance to lunge forward, a series of silenced gunshots firing toward them as each of them dropped dead, causing me to look over in time to see Sasha lowering her gun. Great.

I never thought I would be able to say that I've eaten dog meat before, but life sure is full of surprises. I somehow felt even more defeated while I took slow bites of the tough substance in my hands, looking around at everyone's faces as they seemed to resemble my own. Well, except for Daryl who was practically shoveling the meat down his throat like it was his last meal. But then again, it might be.

I tried to eat what I could, but only finished about half of what I was given before not being able to choke it down anymore without wanting to throw up. My eyes spotted Carl sitting a few feet from me, wordlessly offering the rest of my food so he would have a fuller stomach than I. His brows furrowed, as if he was silently asking if I was sure, but I insisted, feeling good knowing he would have a little more to eat.

Looking at the fire not too far from me, I started to drift off yet again, but this time with the image of the crosses we handmade for the graves of our loved ones. It felt so long ago, yet so recent. Time was a weird thing, not fully knowing whether it was something to cherish, or something that bleeds you dry. It was hard to tell the difference sometimes.

I blinked rapidly when I felt a gentle nudge on my shoulder, seeing Daryl's hand extended out to me as he handed me the rest of his food with just a simple nod. But I was quick to decline his offer as my gaze fell away from him once more, only to feel him nudge me again in insistence.

"I'm fine." I sighed as I glanced back over to him, "I honestly feel kind of...nauseous."

All the man did was grunt in response, seeming to give up at the mention of my unease.

My legs were burning, my muscles clenching and releasing, feeling as if I could sit down and rest forever. But I knew we had to keep going. It was as if everyone was sharing the same mind as we all just focused solely on survival, watching the last person swallow their final bite before we all collectively stood again.

It never felt like it was getting any easier. Every passing second was a struggle as we all fought to stay alive and not pass out from heat exhaustion or dehydration. I knew I was pushing my body to the limits when I felt my lungs burn, but I knew we couldn't stop, not now anyway. Everything felt like a blur, fuzzy in the back of my mind as I could only force myself to stay conscious enough to move. But that was all.

My eyes scanned the woods to the right and left of us, noting there was a hint of thinning just a few yards out which could only lead to another clearing close by. I was prepared to brush it off, to keep moving with the others, that is until I heard the briefest conversation happening just ahead of me. Glenn's voice sounded through the quiet, the mention of Beth's name on his tongue was enough for me to almost lose it. I thought I could handle it; I thought that maybe I was finally ready to listen to someone at the very least bring up her existence. But I was very wrong. I clearly wasn't ready at all as I started to feel myself get overwhelmed, the tightness in my chest growing too uncomfortable for me to handle.

Without a word, I took a sharp right into the forest where I sensed some peace, walking further and further away from the prying eyes until I couldn't anymore. I ended up right where I wanted, scanning the large fields ahead where a rundown barn sat in practically the middle of nowhere. There wasn't a sound to be heard, not one single rustle in the bushes or song of a bird. There was just...nothing.

Realizing I was finally alone, I reluctantly allowed the tears that threatened to fall, completely paint my cheeks. I slumped down with my back against a nearby tree and held my face in my hands as I cried once again for the girl I couldn't save. For the man I couldn't save. I let out everything that was built up, sobbing into my palms quietly as my shoulders shook with so much emotion.

I often found myself wondering how different things would be if both of them were still alive, here with us in this moment in time. I knew that Beth would try to keep everyone's spirits alive; she was always the best at that. And Ty would most likely be taking care of Judith, protecting the group in some way with his giant heart and strong hands. They were both such incredibly amazing people, and I considered myself lucky just to say I got to know them while they were still here. Even though the universe selfishly took them too soon, knowing them at all was something that I should never take for granted.

Drying my eyes as I sniffed back any remaining tears, I reached in my pocket mindlessly for a carton of cigarettes that I found not too long ago, fishing for the lighter I had recently taken from Daryl as well. I placed the death stick in between my lips and lit it as the smoke quickly filled my lungs, sighing in satisfaction as I felt the familiar tingling burn. It tasted awful, leaving an itching sensation at the back of my throat, but the feeling alone somewhat made me feel alive.

My head instinctively leaned back on the tree as I closed my eyes, allowing myself to just feel. Feel whatever emotion that would resurface before I would ultimately have to do the walk of shame back to the group, knowing they would notice my sudden absence soon.

But then there they were again. The same heavy footsteps that seemed to follow me everywhere I went, eventually found my not so secluded hiding spot. And before I could even blink again, he was right there, sensing his eyes staring down at me with the most concern a person could possibly contain.

"Your loud footsteps give you away." I mumbled, taking another drag.

He huffed and slowly sat himself down next to me with a breath, "Yeah, well...the smoke gives you away." he retorted as he gestured to the cigarette.

I nodded, "That's fair." I said quietly.

There was a long but comfortable tranquility that followed, filling the remaining space between us that words never could. I silently offered him the cigarette to which he accepted without question, clearly needing it just as much as I did. I could sense however, that he was a little uncomfortable, not really knowing what else to say even though there looked to be a lot on his mind.

The way I saw it, I felt he didn't want to push me any more than he already had earlier that day, but in my mind, I already brushed it off. I was just struggling, but I didn't know how to tell him that he wasn't the cause of my outburst without completely breaking down. Which that was something that I didn't want to do, at least not right now. So, I just sat there with him instead.

"Do ya wanna talk?" he asked after the silence stretched.

I paused and thought for a moment, "The quiet's nice."

He nodded in understanding before letting out a small sigh, "Can I just...say one thing?" he asked, watching as I glanced over to him and nodded for him to continue. "M' not goin anywhere...alright?"

A lump formed in my throat as I saw the certainty behind his eyes, somehow knowing he would say something like that. "I know." I whispered.

He nodded once more, "Good."

Not another thing was exchanged between us, and I sighed in content. Knowing he was here no matter how much I wanted to pull myself away, gave me a little more strength that I desperately needed. I knew that I needed to keep fighting, and I didn't want to let myself slip into nothing. I knew that neither Beth or Ty would want that for anyone, so I had to be strong for them, for everyone else. But I also had to be strong for me.

I scooted a little closer to Daryl ever so slightly, allowing my head to fall on his shoulder, feeling him breathe in and out shakily as his frame relaxed into me. He gently grazed his hand over mine before grasping it carefully, holding it so softly as if my hand would crack like glass if he gripped it too roughly. For once, it was calm. A moment we both very much needed.

Though we eventually came to a simple agreement to head back, wanting to see where the others had ended up just to make sure they hadn't gone too far. The walk back was wordless as well, the only difference being the hand he kept on the small of my back, as if he needed the comfort only I could provide. And I let him. This time, I finally let him.

When the two of us eventually spotted the group just beyond the thin tree line, they looked a little taken aback and scared. Their heads spun toward us when they heard our rustling steps, relieved to see it was just us, watching as Rick didn't waste any time walking over to show us a piece of paper. Daryl took it from his hands, my eyes glancing over his shoulder to see the words - "FROM A FRIEND " written on it in black ink. My brows furrowed in confusion until I looked up again to see what the group was surrounding. There right on the ground, were jugs and bottles of what looked to be clean, fresh water, but I didn't trust it for one second.

I immediately scanned the area while taking my bow from my back, bringing an arrow in place to be on high alert for the unexpected guests. How we managed to not realize there were strangers following us, I had no fucking idea. All I knew was it was about to end right now.

Daryl tossed the note carelessly to the side, glancing at our surroundings just as I was when someone finally broke the silence, "What else are we gonna do?" Tara asked.

Rick shook his head, "Not this."

"We don't know who left it." I muttered.

"If that's a trap we already happen to be in it. But I for one like to think it is indeed from a friend." Eugene said, staring daggers at the water like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth.

"What if it isn't? They put something in it?" Carol pointed out.

I glanced back towards the others once I knew for sure there wasn't anyone watching us from what I could see, and noticed how everyone went quiet. They all wanted the obvious, to drink the damn water, but we couldn't. That "friend" could easily be trying to kill us out here.

But then Eugene made a move, stalking right over towards the many bottles and grabbed one of them harshly in his grasp to open. He ignored everyone's loud protests as he only held it up closer to his mouth.

"Quality assurance." he muttered before bringing the bottle to his lips.

Abraham then took two long strides over to him and knocked the water out of his hands before he could get a sip. The water splattered all over his face and the ground below, feeling some splashing on my shoes, and I honestly would've laughed if it were a whole different situation. But it was very serious, and everyone was at rock bottom. We all wanted to believe this water was safe to consume, but how could we be so sure when everything had been going so wrong in such a little amount of time.

No one uttered a word after Abrahams sudden actions, but then the unexpected sound of thunder started to echo around the space, grumbling harsh enough to shake the earth. I looked up along with everyone else to see that there were dark, thick clouds starting to cover the sky, raindrops suddenly starting to kiss my cheeks. I flinched a little, not believing for a moment that what I was feeling was actually real, but then it only began raining harder as if to prove how real it truly was. The weight we had all been carrying seemed to melt away in an instant, hearing sounds of joy from all around as they ravished in the forecast while our gazes remained locked on the sky. I hadn't heard such happiness in so long I forgot what it sounded like. It was nice.

I tilted my head back and let the rain hit my face as I tried to get it to wash away the dirt that lingered there. My shoulders relaxed at the coolness of nature's shower, and I ran my hands through my hair that was now getting drenched and dripping down my back. My clothes now stuck to every part of me, the heavy downpour finally soothing my hot skin.

My eyes fluttered opened again, looking to my right when I heard a deep, dry chuckle escape from Daryl, seeing him with a small smile on his lips as he pushed his longer hair back from his face. It was shocking to hear, being deprived from the beautiful sound for so long, but I would play it on repeat all day if I could. He looked so peaceful now in this scene, like he had been waiting for something like this, some kind of sign. And now he had it.

He felt my gaze on him after only seconds, looking over at me and sending me a small wink before turning back to grab a few empty bottles to put out and fill with the rainwater. My expression didn't falter as I watched him walk away, but my heart swelled.

Though the sweet moment couldn't last forever, the thunder only booming louder and the wind growing stronger, Judith beginning to cry at all the loud noises as Carl attempted to cover her with his hat. The group's relief died down as we all quickly realized it wasn't safe anymore to be out in the open in the storm that was clearly coming our way, and we needed to go. With the way the gusts of wind howled and the downpour falling heavier, I knew we needed to find some kind of shelter.

"Let's keep moving!" Rick yelled over the claps of thunder.

My mind ran for a moment before my eyes widened in realization, "There's a barn!" I shouted.

"Where?!" Rick asked.

I quickly nodded for them to follow, leading them into the woods and all the way back to the barn that was peeking out from behind some trees, sitting still in the emptiness. I didn't know if it was safe to hunker down, but it was our only chance, telling them to stay close over the intense sound of the storm as we slowly made our way in through the doors.

We rushed in with our weapons raised, looking in every corner of the big wooden structure only to find a single walker that was trapped inside, killing it off with ease so everyone else could pile in safely. Judith still fussed as the sounds didn't seem to be dying down, but we all tried to ignore it for the most part as everyone slowly got settled, knowing we would be safe in here until it passed.

I dropped my belongings in a corner of the barn and slouched down against the wall with a huff as I finally allowed myself to breathe again. I still felt the droplets of my hair dripping onto my skin, running my fingers through it once more to try and ring everything out. The rain was nice while it lasted, but now I was just freezing my ass off the longer I sat still. Though luckily, Rick didn't hesitate to start making a fire just a few feet away.

My eyes opened once more the moment I felt a presence growing near and looked to see Daryl settling not too far away from me, picking at his nails to have something to do. I sensed a pattern, noticing he did this every time we would camp somewhere new. He would always linger close by, but not too close so I could still have as much space as I needed. He was so incredibly patient it blew my mind. I thought that by now he would've gotten tired of whatever the hell is going on with me, but yet he was still right here, waiting for me to feel okay enough to let him back in.

The idea alone just made me feel even more terrible. I had pushed him away simply because of the hardships we continued to face, only doing it so it wouldn't hurt as badly in case I lost him too. But I couldn't do that, not anymore. We're all still here; alive. And I needed to take advantage of that. I needed to cherish these moments with my family, not isolate myself from them simply because I was afraid of my own demons.

Something clicked in my head that night and I hadn't thought this clearly in a long time, but it was very much needed. I couldn't keep doing this. I knew it would be hard, and I knew things wouldn't immediately go back to how they were, but I wanted to push myself to try. I wanted to try to move on. I wanted to try and just...live.

Things would eventually be okay; I mean we were practically dying of thirst...and then it rained. That was the little bit of hope that we all needed, and I wasn't going to take it for granted. I thought of it as a sign. A sign to keep fighting. To keep pushing.

At that very moment as I thought these things through, I silently thanked Beth for the rain that made me come to my senses.

~ Thanks for reading!

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why him?

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Part of the 500 Follower Celebration Requested by: @fictive-sl0th

Summary: An invitation to a Thanksgiving family reunion was sent addressed to you and Loki, and you're not exactly all that excited to face everyone after over a decade of no contact.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: Audrey and her grade-A parenting…and she's got friends this time; family drama; hints of Loki's insecurity over his brother if you squint; language (get over it, Rogers) [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: established relationship

The air was unreasonably thick as the car drove through the streets of your old neighborhood, the layout hauntingly familiar to you and growing increasingly stifling as you passed each picturesque home. Every single one of those houses looked like they didn't age a day, the paint jobs pristinely done to ensure they looked as good as when its owners moved in over a decade and a half ago.

The lawns were a uniform obnoxious radiant green, a blatant show of affluence that yes, you were in a neighborhood that could afford to allocate obscene amounts of water to maintain the lush green hue of a patch of land that nobody could walk on. All for the sake of display.

"My love, I rarely ever say these words to anyone besides myself, but you must calm yourself." The feel of a large hand taking yours and fingers lacing through yours brought you out of your trance, not realizing that you'd been incessantly shaking your leg until Loki placed his free hand on top of it to stop you. "We can still turn around and head home instead. We need not face these people if even the thought of seeing them again has you shaking this way."

"I just don't get it," you murmured, relaxing your posture to let the god maneuver you and place you onto his lap, resting your head on his shoulder. You could practically feel your nerves melting away as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, the backs of his fingers stroking along your spine making you lean into him all the more. "Why now? After all this time?"

"Perhaps they wish to show you off," he grunted, sighing when he felt you tense up again after his words. "I don't wish to think ill of the very people that brought you into this world as I owe them a great debt for that alone, but if they had made the monumental mistake of ceasing to be a part of your life for so long, then my mind cannot help but think of ulterior motives on their part."

"Maybe they need me to win a pissing contest," you added, rolling your eyes. "But if that's the case then why didn't they reach out when I got into the Avengers Program? When Tony announced me as a new member of the team? How come after years of my mother voicing how disappointed she's been in me straying from the family business, suddenly we're--Holy fuck I know what it is." His light squeeze at your side prompted you to continue. "It's you."

"I'm afraid you've lost me there, darling. How is it--"

"Think about it," you kept going. "What happened days before we got the invitation? And just the fact that they addressed the invitation to both of us. Not just me and telling me that I can bring my boyfriend. The invitation said Y/N and Loki. They're not out to brag about me to their pretentious fuckwits at the country club. They're out to brag about you."

"Y/N that's absurd--"

"It's makes complete sense and you know it," you insisted. "We went public just a few days before we got that invitation--" He cut you off with a pointed look, challenging your spin on the situation. "Okay fine, people took photos of us out on a date and before theories got out of hand I tweeted 'Yeah we're dating. Deal with it.' and gave Pepper a migraine, same difference. Anyway, that happens, and suddenly they want me at Thanksgiving? That's not a coincidence, sweetie."

He pressed his forehead to yours, letting out a long sigh as he wrapped his arms tighter around you. "Say the word and we can call off this charade. I will speak with Stark and tell him we truly do not need these people as stakeholders if it comes at the cost of your peace."

Your heart swelled at his offer, knowing full well that he was more than ready to put an end to this shitstorm before it even began. But you also knew that a guilt would always eat away at you if you didn't so much as try. You owed Tony a great deal, after all, especially considering that he didn't even hold it against you when you outright refused to participate in that skirmish back in Germany and also proceeded to refer to all the parties that took part in it "a bunch of babies incapable of just talking it out instead".

"I have to at least try," you muttered, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. "At the very least it'd be nice to see my little sister again. Scare her fiancé within an inch of his sanity if he even thinks of hurting her."

"If you're sure, darling. But if at any point you wish to leave, let me know. We'll be home in seconds. Leave Stark's transportation behind. Surely Hogan will be able to find his way back to the compound."

"I heard that," a voice broke through the speakers on your side of the divider. "Look if you two have to make the dramatic exit a heads up would be nice is all I'm saying. Don't wanna have to spend a second longer in here than we have to, you know?"

"Happy I get you, but I'm sure you know by now that if we're gonna be texting you about a dramatic exit, by the time you read it, we'll already be back in our apartment." His groan over the speakers was all the agreement you needed. "Just--if anyone in that house asks you any questions, say it's classified information under Tony's orders or some shit. I don't want anyone in there knowing a goddamn thing. Nosy pretentious asshats." You grumbled the last part under your breath, earning a chuckle from the god still cradling you in his arms.

"Well I hope your poker face is ready, Y/N," Happy spoke up again. "Because we're about three houses away and a woman that looks like an older Botox'd to the high heavens and bleach blonde version of you is waiting by the mailbox."

"I'm assuming the woman he's describing is your mother?"

You nodded, refusing to lift your head from Loki's shoulder as if it would somehow prolong -- maybe even prevent -- the inevitable. "Fucking Audrey."

"Should I be especially cautious around anyone?"

You scoffed at the question. "Everyone. Just as a rule of thumb, if any of my aunts corner you and ask you about sleeping habits or stamina, call me. If anyone touches you anywhere that only I should be touching and not in front of a live audience unless we're feeling especially risqué, shout and I'll beat them up and make a scene so crazy it'll make Wade proud."

"I don't think you should pride yourself on your ability to incur that Wilson's pride, darling," he cautioned you with a soft chuckle. "But I will make sure to take your words to heart." You let out a whiny whimper as he eased you off his lap and seated you beside him, feeling the car coming to a stop. "Shall we?"

You placed your hand in his, lacing your fingers together as he exited the car before helping you out as well. When you saw the obviously newly bleached blonde middle aged woman approaching you, you could feel Loki's thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand the moment you began to tense up. "Mother," you spoke up, smiling through gritted teeth. "Thank you for extending the invitation. Let me introduce you to Loki, we work together and we…also live together. He's my boyfriend."

Every nerve in your body tensed itself for a fight the second she gave him a head-to-toe look, her eyes so visibly dismissive and judgmental. "It was your father that extended the invitation. Come on, we shouldn't keep him waiting." And then she turned around and walked back toward the house, completely ignoring the god's outstretched hand to shake.

"What in the actual fuck?" you muttered, both of you giving each other a look before following Audrey into your childhood home.

The second the door opened you saw a familiar dark-haired ball of energy running toward you for a hug. "Y/N holy fuck you actually came!" your sister Stella squealed, the impact of her embrace making you let go of your boyfriend's hand. "I fucking missed you so much!"

"It's great to see you too, sis," you chuckled, returning her embrace as you took a look around the house that barely resembled your home from years past. "Any idea why they sent the invite, though? I mean I don't wanna sound like a right bitch but--"

"The short version is that Dad saw a video of you on a mission last year and he started missing you. When you went viral a few weeks ago after those photos of you and your boyfriend went around, he decided it's been too long since he's seen you and he wanted to meet you. And Loki. He just wants to meet the guy who made you smile the way you do in the pictures. You seem really happy with him."

You beamed at her words. "I really am, Stell. Actually I was wondering if you and your fiancé would be up to it, we could all meet up next time you're in the city." If it was possible, her smile got even wider at your offer. "I never wanted to be the first to show weakness since Audrey would fucking jump in glee at that but…I really fucking missed you, too, моя маленькая сестра."

The wonder that entered her eyes tugged at your heartstrings, reminding you so much of how she looked before you'd left home all those years ago. Back when she was still smack dab in the middle of high school. "What was that you just said?"

"My little sister." She let out a childlike giggle as she wrapped her arms around you again. "Nat's been teaching me mainly so we can talk shit. The only ones who can tell what we're talking about are Loki, his brother, and Bucky."

"Ohh if you knew how fucking thirsty everyone's been on the family group chat over literally everyone you just mentioned. Oop--you should probably go save your mans from some of them because our aunts? Well, let's just say they got handsy over my Nate, and he's nowhere near as built as your--"

"Say less," you muttered, walking toward the aunts in question. There were three of them standing in front of your boyfriend, the closest being Brenda who was basically the slutty wine mom version of Audrey, and she was about to reach out and place an overly manicured hand complete with long coffin acrylic nails on Loki's arm.

You put a stop to her wine-aided show of interest in people that weren't hers inches before acrylic met cotton, your hand catching her wrist in a thinly-veiled death grip and earning you an incredulous head-to-toe look from her. "Why, little horsey, what's gotten into--"

"Touch him, and it will be the last time you have hands, Brenda," you seethed, placing enough pressure against the joint of her thumb to let her know you weren't kidding. "I might be one of the non-enhanced members of my team, but that doesn't mean I can't break your hand like a fucking toothpick. And since you can't seem to remember anything you were taught as a child, let me just refresh your decaying memory. Touch that which belongs to someone else and lose a fucking limb."

She struggled to free her hand from your grip for a few moments before you made a show of "graciously" letting go, the three women stumbling away from you and the raven-haired Asgardian, a look of caution in their eyes as they made their way back to the kitchen. "Can I steal that line from you, little bunny?"

You turned towards the source of the new voice, a smile stretching across your face as you met eyes with you father. The only other friendly face you'd seen so far besides Stella since stepping foot in this house. This time around you were the one running for a hug, nearly sending him stumbling back from the impact. "I'll even teach you where to apply pressure."

"Horse? Bunny?" You broke the embrace to turn back towards Loki. "Any particular reason why your familial nicknames are based on animals?"

"When my permanent teeth were coming in, my front teeth looked a little too big for my face, so…" You trapped your bottom lip under your front teeth and wiggled your nose like a bunny, making him chuckle as you stepped back into his embrace before pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Horse is because I had an overbite and despite growing into it, Brenda always fucking neighed whenever I stepped into  the room."

"Darling, that's horrid."

"That's Brenda for you," your dad retorted, holding out a hand toward the god. "I'm Thatcher. I apologize for Y/N's mother. And her sisters. And my sisters."

The tension that had knots forming all over you began to relax by the slightest as you slipped out of Loki's hold, leaving him to talk with your father in relative peace compared to how you began your re-entry into this chapter of your life that felt too full of ghosts you thought you'd exorcised a long time ago.

"The last time I saw her this happy she was a little girl twirling around in a yellow princess dress getting ready for Halloween trick or treating around the neighborhood. Do you--have that? Back in…?"

"Asgard?" Loki finished for your father. "We do not. In truth Y/N was the one that kept me apprised of all the traditions mortals have in this realm. And the sweets that children tend to hoard during that time of year. We still have some from this year's festivities in our apartment left over from when she handed them out to the children."

"Is that how you and her became a thing?"

The god let out a mix between a chuckle and a sharp exhale as the memories of the early days of your relationship came back to him. "No. Those days we were simply friends. I'd only started truly courting her earlier this year. It was my brother that tipped us both off that we were as you mortals would say…dancing around each other? Truly I'd been taken with her the moment we met, I just never dared think she would return the sentiment. Since then I'd barely ever left her side." He looked to you, speaking with your sister once more as you both walked down the hall toward the kitchen, heart pounding in his chest as his mind was bombarded with the thought of perhaps living in a home similar to this with you one day, perhaps starting a family of your own. "You raised a remarkable woman, you should be very proud of her."

"I have been. I've always been. Honestly the only reason I haven't reached out to her sooner is I knew she wouldn't want to see most of the people in this house since they're the ones that practically drove her out all those years ago. But getting hit with the realization that my little girl was building a future that I wasn't going to be a part of felt so wrong to me. I only wanted for us to reconnect but the second Audrey and the rest of the family heard I was planning to reach out they took over. Invited themselves. Turned it into this entire thing."

"Apologies but I don't quite follow. She talked as if she knew that this would be a full family affair. Braced herself for it, even."

"That's only because she knows her mother painfully well, always sticking her business in places it didn't belong," he grumbled. "I don't know if she told you, but her mother and I have been separated since years before she even left the house. Our families have just been so tangled up with one another that I can't seem to escape as cleanly as my daughter did. Really I only planned for this to have been a simple meal shared with maybe Stella and her fiancé. I should have met with her instead, fuck I really clowned with this whole thing."

"Something that Y/N told me throughout my acclimation into this realm was…we learn as we go." Your father snapped his gaze towards you the moment Loki said the words. "She said you taught her that."

Thatcher straightened his stance and faced the god once more. "Do you love my daughter?"

He didn't hesitate to give his answer. "More than anything."

A lump formed in Loki's throat as your father reached into his pocket, pulling out a ring box that seemed generations old, set in a black leather and gold detailing. "The second I saw those pictures of the two of you, I recognized that look in your eyes. It's the same one I saw in Nate when he looked at Stella. When you're ready, and more importantly when she's ready, all I want is to be able to walk my baby down the aisle. But until then, keep this somewhere safe."

With a wave of his hand, Loki made the box disappear in a flash of green, keeping it in the safest place he could. "I'm sure she would love to have you walk her--"

"Are you fucking kidding me, Audrey??" The sound of your voice going shrill had him ready to march over to you. "So not only did you have the fucking audacity to invite yourself to this, bring your air-headed sisters along with you, and disrespect me and my boyfriend within sixty seconds of getting out the fucking car, but now you think you're in a position to pass your judgment and tell everyone how you think I 'picked the wrong Asgardian'."

A chill spread throughout Loki's body at your words. Despite the knowledge that yes, Thor was in fact the one that practically pushed you two to finally admit to your feelings towards one another, there would always be a deep-seated fear in him that you would wake up one day and choose differently. As so many before did in their youth.

"I'm just saying, little horsey, that if I was given the choice between two brothers, I would have picked the one that could make me a queen of a whole planet. Not the alien equivalent of an ex-con," your mother sneered at you, making his skin bristle at the sight of your rage visibly beginning to build. "Then again I shouldn't be surprised. You always did make it so difficult for us to tell any of our friends about you. Turning your back on the family business, specializing in a field that could do nothing for the image of my family, and now we can't even tell anyone you're dating a prince because all they're gonna see is the guy on YouTube back in Stuttgart that told everyone to--"

"Audrey, you finish that sentence I'm gonna make you fucking kneel," you seethed, shoulders squaring as you took a step toward them. "You haven't had a single good thing to say about me since I got first runner up in that stupid pageant you dragged me into when I was three. I turned my back on the family business because I refused to participate in a cycle of helping raise a new generation of girls that would turn out to be as brainless and shallow as you lot. I specialized in technological advancements in sustainable energy so I could actually do some good in the world and it got me an internship in Stark Industries that led to my training at SHIELD that led me into the Avengers program.

"And I don't give a single flying fuck if you can't brag to your friends at the country club about who I share a home with! Tell them whatever the fuck you want, but the long and short of it is this: I am dating a god. And a King." You lowered your voice as a smirk tugged at the side of your mouth, picking up a book that had been placed on top of the counter and waving it in their direction. "And these big boy blue-skinned ice aliens you're thirsting over in your horny wine moms book club?" You tossed the book back on the countertop with a resounding smack. "I'm dating that, too."

Your sister's jaw dropped to the ground as her gaze flickered between the scene in front of her and towards the front door where Loki still stood watching along with your father. "You go, sis," he heard her mutter before she cleared her throat. "If it helps, she's unimpressed with Nate being a neurosurgeon, too."

Somehow that sentiment caused you to chuckle, your stance a touch more relaxed now. "You know for such unimpressive women, you seem to have impossible standards for what you think is impressive to you. And the funniest thing is that somehow you all got it into your heads that the blonde himbo I call one of my best friends, that got banished to Earth for trying to destroy an entire realm because he was always a little too excited to wage war 'in his youth'…The same blonde himbo that had to grab and shake my shoulders to knock some sense into me because apparently my not so subtle crush on his brother was reciprocated and we were being idiots friendzoning ourselves? That Thor? Somehow you think you know better than I do and that he's somehow the better option? Fucking. Laughable.

"When I choose who I give my heart to, Audrey, that's it. I don't do the stupid thing and look around and see if there's greener pastures somewhere because I was raised better than that. By someone with more character in his pinky toenail than you have in your entire body, you bumbling idiot. Fact is there is no better option and there will never be a better option. Not for me. Thor doesn't even begin to compete. He's just the matchmaker. And if you can't even suck up your ego for five seconds and show me a modicum of respect then I don't need to tolerate your pretentious ass for one more minute."

As you walked out of the kitchen, marching your way back to him, Loki could see a fierce protectiveness in your eyes that he only ever saw out in the field. He'd come to terms that he would never see you donning that look over himself because out there he was better equipped and more than willing to be the one protecting you. He had to admit, however, that seeing it now had his heart doing somersaults in his chest.

I'm going to marry this woman, he thought to himself, a smile stretching across his face once you'd reached him and stepped into his outstretched arm, your own hand sliding across his lower back as you both settled into a familiar embrace.

"Sorry to rain down on this whole thing, Dad. I know you tried." You and your father gave each other mirroring shrugs. "Maybe you could--go to New York next time? Bring Stella with you? Y'know…just because I never wanna see those sad sacks of silicone and bleach ever again doesn't mean I wanna live the rest of my life without you two."

"I'll reach out next time I find myself in your neck of the woods, little bunny. Might be sooner than you think."

Your hold on him tightened the slightest bit as if to draw his attention back to you. It was adorable that you thought it ever left. "Let's go home." The way your tone audibly softened as soon as you turned to face him had the god unable to hold back from pressing a kiss to the top of your head before turning toward the door.

"Home?" a new voice perked up, making you both turn and face the dark-blond haired man who stepped in next to your sister. "I take it Audrey fucked up that fast, huh?" He set the grocery bags in his hands down, wiping his hands on his trouser legs before extending one towards you. "I'm Nate."

"The neurosurgeon, right?" you answered, taking his hand in what Loki knew was a handshake a touch firmer than necessary. "You know I work with someone who used to be a neurosurgeon, too. And…" The god stifled a chuckle as your grip tightened and tilted his hand to a point of discomfort. "If you ever even think about hurting my little sister, I will make what Stephen Strange went through look like a walk in the fucking park."

"Wouldn't dream of it," the Midgardian healer squeaked, letting out a breath of relief when you relinquished your hold on his hand. "Sorry you have to leave so early. Would've loved the opportunity to get to know the woman Stella can never seem to stop talking about. She's an entire fangirl whenever she sees you on the news."

"Shut up I am not!" Your sister faced you with a slightly sheepish look not too dissimilar from a look he occasionally saw from you. "Okay maybe I am a little bit. I mean I can't help it! My sister's a superhero!"

The sentiment had you nearly mirroring her jovial tone as you stepped out of his hold to pull her into an embrace. "I love you, too, sis. Come see me if you're ever in New York, okay?" When you pulled away from one another, you held her shoulders as you imparted one final piece of advice to both her and her intended. "You don't have to tolerate her behavior. Neither of you do. Today or--any other day of your lives."

It was just before dark when you and Loki got back to the Avengers Compound, already bracing yourself for what Tony was about to say once you stepped through the threshold. You knew you fucked up any chance of a new stakeholder for the Avengers the second you walked out of that house hand in hand with Loki, but you couldn't bring yourself to tolerate Audrey and her vapid posse a second longer.

Nobody got to pass judgment on you and your choices like that, especially when the choice they were so dismissively passing their judgment on was the love of your life. You should have broken their hands the second they started talking about how they thought you fumbled so badly for not choosing Thor.

"Thanks for not leaving Happy in hoity toity upper middle class Suburbia, you two," Stark hollered seconds after you stepped through the compound's main entrance.

"Tony I'm sorry--"

"For what?" he cut you off. "While you two were on the road your dad called me, said he wanted to invest in the Avengers Program, even offered his consulting company to be in our roster of resources. On one condition."

"And that would be?"

"Regular visits. At least once a quarter, he said. With you as the official liaison. Said he doesn't wanna miss any more of your life if he can help it."

A grin threatened to split your face, your heart warming at the knowledge that when your father said 'might be sooner than you think', he truly meant it. You no longer had to "all or nothing" your embargo on your family. "I think that can be arranged."

A/N: If you got that book reference, let's be best friends. And that name drop.

I'm so glad to knock another request off the 500-follower list! And this was honestly so much fun to write because I got to create a larger family dynamic that wasn't all bad for Reader but also showed that a few bad elements can really just throw off the whole vibe that that in itself is a good enough reason to walk away. (aka fuck u Audrey)

And also writing scenes where Reader tells Audrey off will never not be cathartic for me 😂🫡

Thank you so much for sending the request in, Camille! I hope you love the story as much as I loved creating it 💖💛

'everything' taglist: @sailorholly @loopsisloops @unlucky-number-13 @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @sarahscribbles @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @dangertoozmanykids101 @elizabethmidnight2017 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina

Loki taglist: @calumance @severuslovebot @moonlightreader649 @i-stand-with-loki @nixymarvelkins @infinitystoner @lokisgoodgirl @purplegrrl27 @thedistractedagglomeration

[miralirica]

Shelter from the Rain 01　「Levi & Moblit Berner」　(english translation)

進撃の巨人 Short Stories 諫山創 (Isayama Hajime) 雨宿りの情景 Vol. 1　「リヴァイ＆モブリット・バーナー」 A Scene of Taking Shelter from the Rain Vol.1　「Levi & Moblit Berner」

Pouring down from the dull gray sky, heavy raindrops splattered against the cobble pavement of the street.

"Waaahhh… what should I do…"

Carrying many paper bags in his arms, the man rushed to take shelter under the eaves of a shop. A previous customer calls out to him in an ill-tempered tone.

"……It's a passing rain."

"Levi-hēchō!"

ー he calls, nearly dropping his armful of baggage trying to salute.

"Leave it. You… you're Hanji's adjutant huh"

"Yes, Sir! Fourth Squad Vice Buntaichō, Moblit Berner."

"Doing that person's errands?"

"Yes, shopping for books, chemicals, as well as Buntaichō's daily necessities. As for you, Hēchō…?"

"Erwin's summons. Some conversation that can't be had at the barracks, he says"

"……How about using a carriage?

"Mud splashes when you hail one."

"Right."

The Levi of peaceful times is fastidious to the extremes, Moblit recalls.

●

He's the exact opposite of Hanji-san, but… both of them mutually trust and rely on each other.

Born by a years-long relationship ー a special bond. That is something absent between him and his superior.

Perhaps feeling complex emotions resembling his envy, Levi, looking up at the rain clouds outside, spoke as if in monologue…

"It's tough, right? Being that person's adjutant."

"Eh ー you mean?"

"Whenever they become engrossed, even their own life gets neglected."

"……Protecting them in such times… it is my job, I think… so…"

"Right. It is a job only you may do."

"Eh…?"

Without even looking up at Moblit who couldn't comprehend what his words meant, Levi said…

"However long-term friends of yore we may be, we aren't always tightly sticking together. The one who is by Hanji's side all the time is you, Moblit."

Droplet by droplet, the rain has lost its vigor, the clouds drifting away from the sky.

"Do it with confidence. You might get fed up from time to time, though"

I see… "I'm counting on you about Hanji from here on," that is what he is saying.

●

The raindrops have disappeared before they knew it, the sunlight pouring in from between the clouds has shone on the soffit where the two were.

"It stopped. Give it to me."

"Ah, Hēchō, those are heavy!?"

Snatching one of the paper bags Moblit was carrying, Levi heads out of the eaves, urging Moblit without even looking back.

"We're returning to the same barracks anyway. Making Hanji owe me one isn't so bad."

"……if only Buntaichō would notice your presence…"

I'll kick them in the ass and make them notice, Levi said. His back looking like a bashful smile, a grin freely appears on Moblit's face.

(了)　(끝)　(END)

So far, all the english translations I've seen (including the official one published as volume purchase bonus) aren't quite as faithful to the original text as I would've expected, and since I really enjoyed this story in particular, I am posting this! I'm still not confident in my grasp of Korean, so for now it's just an english translation! As always, I am including the original text at the end so that everyone can freely read and interpret precisely. Also, autotranslating jp→kr is always going to be more accurate than eng→kr after all hehe. This story is published as a chapter to Shingeki no Kyojin Short Stories 1： Shelter from the Rain, which was released as a limited edition bonus for purchasing 進撃の巨人 Volume 20. (Short Stories 2 was released with Volume 21, while Short Stories 3 is with Volume 29.) Initially, it was part of the Side Stories written for 進撃の巨人 for auスマートパス. On to the original text!

鈍色の空から降りしきる大粒の水滴が、街の石畳を叩いていた。

「うわっとと……どうしよう」

紙袋をいく��も抱え、店屋の軒下へ駆け込んできた男に、先客が不機嫌な声をかける。

「……通り雨だ」

「リヴァイ兵長！」

と、男は敬礼しようとして、抱えていた荷物を取り落としそうになる。

「そのままでいい。お前······ハンジの副官だったな」

「はっ、第四分隊副長、モプリット・パーナーです ｣

「ヤツの使いか｣

「ええ、書物や薬品の買い出し、それに分隊長の身の回りのものを······兵長は」

「エルヴィンの呼び出しだ。兵舎ではできない話だとな」

「……馬車をお使いには？」

「呼び止めるときに泥が跳ねる」

「ああ」

平時のリヴァイは、極端なまでの潔癖症だったと、モブリットは思い出す。

●

「(ハンジさんとは正反対だ。けど……ふたりはお互いに信頼しあっている)」

長年の付き合いが生む、特別な絆。それは、自分と上官の間にはないものだ。

彼の羨望にも似た複雑な思いを感じてか、リヴァイは外の雨雲を見上げながら、ひとりごとのように言った。

「大変だろう。ヤツの副官は」

「と、いうと？」

「夢中になると、てめえの命もそっちのけだ」

「……そうしたときにお守りするのが、自分の仕事だと思っていますので」

「ああ。お前にしか出来ない仕事だ」

「え……？」

意味をはかりかねたモブリットに、リヴァイは目も上げずに言った。

「いくら昔なじみでも、べったり一緒にいるわけじゃねえ。ずっとハンジの側にいるのはお前だ、モブリット」

ぽつり、ぽつりと、雨はその勢いをなくし、空では雲が流れてゆく。

「自信を持ってやれ。たまに嫌気もさすだろうがな」

「(そうか……『これからもハンジさんを頼む』って、言っているんだ)」

●

雨粒はいつしか姿を消して、雲間から差し込む陽光が、ふたりのいる軒下を照らしていた。

「止んだ。貸せ」

「あっ、兵長、重たいですよ!?」

モブリットの抱えていた紙袋の一つを掴み、リヴァイは軒の外へ踏み出して、振り向きもせずにモブリットを促す。

「どうせ同じ兵舎に帰るんだ。ハンジにひとつ貸しを作ってやるのも悪くない」

「……分隊長が兵長の存在に気づけば良いんですが」

ケツを蹴飛ばして気づかせてやる、と、リヴァイは言った。その背中が照れくさそうな微笑に見えて、モブリットの���には自然と、笑みが浮かんでいた。

(了)

I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did! Text source here: 利韩物料 2014.2.21利威尔&莫布里特 躲雨官方AU小说

[collecting-stories]

Style - Sirius Black

Summary: you and Sirius enjoy a somewhat on-again, off-again relationship with each other. Marauders era, post Hogwarts.

A/N: The last Sirius fic I wrote was sort of angsty so I'm trying to remedy that with this.

TS Anthology Series | Harry Potter Masterlist

...could end in burning flames or paradise...

The letter came by owl on the 3rd Tuesday of the month, a crisp envelope, heavy, off-white, your name embossed in golden cursive so delicate it was breathtaking. You were careful not to tear the envelope when you opened it, pulling the card out, the same golden lettering inviting you to the wedding of Lily Evans and James Potter at their home in Godric's Hallow. It would be a summer soiree, a bit of information you knew from a visit there last week and not from the letter itself. Lily had asked you to play maid of honor, since Petunia had outright refused to be part of the wedding in any way at all.

"According to her, I've thrown away my entire identity for this hogwash and she won't play party to it any longer. I think it's just that Vernon she's married, he's a tosser. I hate to speak ill but...least I invited her to my wedding." Lily tapered off at the end as she took the kettle off the stove and poured two cups of tea. 

"Well I'll happily take her place," you said, accepting the cup of tea from her. 

Lily's kitchen was bright and colorful, with windows that felt as if the garden didn't end outside but instead stretched its vines into the house and breathed life into it. She'd never been much for herbology in school, or even basic gardening when she was home but since moving to the cottage in Godric's Hallow she'd found a new love for working outside with her hands. Like she was breathing life into everything around her. You always loved being there, the house was warm and welcoming and a far cry from the quiet of your flat in Cambridge, but your visits were scarce. Especially as of late, it had taken a summons by owl for you to agree to show up for afternoon tea. 

"You'll have to around then, for the rehearsal and the wedding you know? James wants to have a party sometime next week too, sort of an informal announcement that we're marrying. He wanted to just send word, I told him I would send out proper invitations," Lily said, 

"I know," you replied, taking a sip of your tea, "I'll be there. You say it like I'm so hard to come by when I'm a fireplace away. James sounds like he has the right idea, anyway. I'd throw a party and then just get married then. Or skip the party." You said, "and the wedding for that matter."

"Oh, I'm well aware that you'd skip the wedding," she laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You tried your best at sounding scandalized but it was empty, you knew what she was referring to but neither of you had ever actually gotten close to talking about it. It was something that everyone heard of secondhand, whoever had been the first to hear it from you or Sirius, no one could remember, but Lily had never directly discussed it with you and you had never told her exactly what happened. 

She shrugged, grinning rather mischievously as she did. She looked more like James than herself in that moment, "you know James is making Sirius his best man?"

"I know he is. I saw Remus last week and he mentioned the wedding." You replied. "Why?"

"You'll have to see him."

"Are we going to hash all this out right here over tea? I've got nothing against him, we get on perfectly fine," you said, unable to keep the defensive tone out of your voice. 

You had avoided any real discussion about the nature of your relationship with Sirius with any of your friends. They were all his friends too, after all, and it wasn't really any of their business to pry into what happened. Which wasn't really anything particularly astounding. 

"You rarely see each other lately," Lily pointed out. 

"Are you keeping tabs?" You joked, finishing off the tea and standing to take your cup to the sink. The kitchen door clattered open, James stamping his feet on the door mat before stepping over the threshold. They're behind him, Sirius, stepping into the small kitchen and closing the door behind him. In the three seconds it took him to realize that you were there by the sink, Lily had looked over at you with the sort of apologetic look meant to infer that she had no idea he would be coming through the door at all, let alone while you were here. 

"Speak of the devil," you joked, breaking the seconds of awkward silence and the four of you attempted to make out what protocol you were all meant to follow. "Sirius, Lily tells me you'll be walking me down the aisle."

"Sounds like a dream come true," he teased, recovering only a moment after you and flashing you the sort of smile that had made you weak in the knees everyday from 1st to 7th year. 

"Don't get any ideas, Petunia doesn't want to come to the wedding," you replied. 

"Sounds like you're saving me a very uncomfortable afternoon then."

"Did you both want to stay for dinner? I was just going to gather some veg for a salad and I've got some chicken and pasta to make," Lily offered, looking between the two of you. She'd stood up too and was holding her tea cup and saucer in a death grip. Her voice, on the other hand, remained calm, like nothing at all was bothering her. 

"Of course," you agreed, if only to prove that there really was nothing at all wrong and you didn't mind being around Sirius at all. In fact, you wanted to tell her, you hardly thought of him at all. There wasn't any space to tell her that though, and neither of you would have actually believed it at all. "I can grab the veg for you."

"Perfect," Lily nodded. 

The basket she used to collect vegetables and fruit from the garden sat atop the fridge and you grabbed it down, having to go up on your tiptoes to reach. From the corner of your eye, Sirius made a move toward you, as if to help, but then clearly thought better of it, shuffling away from the door instead and letting you manage the task yourself. 

At least the task of taking the basket out into the garden. It took only three short minutes for Sirius to slip out the kitchen door, closing it quietly behind him and walking to the row of raised beds where Lily had been growing lettuces and spinach. You were tearing arugula and placing it in a pile in the corner of the basket when he found you, standing on the other side of the bed to leave space between the two of you. 

"They're all loved up in there," he mentioned, looking back over his shoulder for a moment before he looked back to you, "what've you said to Lily?"

"What've you said to James?" You asked, not looking up as you moved onto some butter lettuce. 

"Nothing, he's talking about the wedding being a good time for...you know, for us seeing each other again." Sirius almost laughed when he said it, "figured you hadn't mentioned to Lily that we've been seeing each other."

"I just figured it'd be easier that way...in case we aren't when the wedding comes around." You pointed out. 

Sirius pouted at you, lower lip jutting out. What Lily knew was true, you and Sirius had broken up (not for the first time) and you weren't really seeing anyone. Not because you were hiding out or anything so petty, just because you were busy and, times being what they were, you didn't have time to sit around with your friends and eat ice cream and complain. Or whatever it was that Lily had told you would be cathartic. The part of it that she didn't know, that you hadn't told her when you'd mentioned seeing Remus the week prior, was that you'd seen Sirius too. They shared the flat in London after all and it was impossible to avoid seeing Sirius when you saw Remus. Your ex had been there and everything had been fine and then Remus had gone to work (probably knowing exactly what would come of him going to work and leaving the two of you alone) and you were suddenly no longer broken up. 

"Don't be such a cynic, it's not becoming," Sirius teased, grinning when you smiled despite yourself. 

"Your hair is getting long," you commented, changing the subject abruptly. 

"My hair is always long." 

"Longer than usual," you replied, reaching out to play with the end of a strand of wavy black hair. Sirius smile softened and his eyes fluttered closed for a moment before he opened them again, watching you pull your hand away and stand up. "Practically on your shoulders."

"You're very concerned about the length of my hair suddenly?" He asked.

"I was thinking about it this morning when we were brushing our teeth but my mouth was full of toothpaste so I couldn't say, and then you went to see James and so I've just thought it again when I looked at you. That your hair is getting long." You explained. 

"I appreciate the mention, thank you."

You shook your head at him and went back to choosing vegetables for the salad, moving to another raised bed. Tomatoes this time, you noted. You went for the smallest of them, cherry sized and yellow in color. Sirius followed after you, taking a few off a vine to eat for himself. 

"We should get a nice little place like this," he mentioned, looking around the garden. He wasn't sure he could picture the two of you in a garden together but something like it might be nice. Sirius wasn't really a cottage type, not like James and Lily, setting up a cozy little corner of the world where they dreamed of raising a family and cultivating a garden and having neighbors. He wasn't sure he wanted all those things, he felt he was supposed to want them, to dream of waking up on Christmas and coming down to a tree all decorated and lots of little versions of the two of you running about. 

"You wouldn't want that," you said, as matter of fact as he knew it to be true. "You would feel too suffocated somewhere like this, who wants to spend forever feeling like they're losing themselves."

"Is that how you thought you would feel?" Sirius asked, reaching for the basket and laying his hand over yours when you gripped the handle. 

"No," you smiled at him, lifting the gravity of his words, "it's how I knew you might feel...especially if you were hellbent on convincing yourself that this was what you wanted. Sirius Black tending a garden and going to markets on Sundays? I've known you too long, my love, you can't fool me quite as well as you fool yourself."

Sirius grinned, giving little away as to whether he was bothered by your words or not. He had grown up with you though, been friends long before you were lovers, and he knew that you could be blunt with your words. "Well, we wouldn't have to have this place," Sirius finally said, "we could have a nice little flat in London."

"I do have a nice little flat in London and you stay over quite a lot," you reasoned. You were tempted to add that enough of his belongings had made their way into your little flat that there was no way to ever truly expel him from your life. You hadn't even tried the last time, just left everything where it was like a relic of a passed life. 

"True," he agreed, going back to picking vegetables. 

"Do you want to tell James and Lily that we're seeing each other again?" You asked, taking up the basket as he tossed a couple cucumbers in. 

"Do you want to be seeing each other?" He replied. It was a foolish insecurity to have, especially for someone who had never experienced much insecurity in previous relationships (though he didn't really have many substantial relationships he could recall off the top of his head), but sometimes he thought that perhaps you were just bidding your time with him. 

You looked almost confused, eyebrows furrowing as you looked at him, "course. I'd see you all the time if I could." 

"Well," Sirius grinned, almost visibly inflating at your words, "who can blame you for that?"

"Alright, let's get inside before your head gets too big to fit through the kitchen door," you teased, grabbing the sleeve of his shirt and tugging gently so that he would follow you. 

Walking back into the kitchen was like breaking a spell, James was taking the basket from your hands and asking if the two of you wanted some wine from a bottle that "a neighbor gave us last week, not sure exactly where they got it, or if they made it themselves, Lily was convinced that they poisoned it but I said that was silly,". 

"Poisoned?" Sirius asked, taking the green glass bottle and uncorking it. He leaned over the bottle and sniffed as if he'd detect whether it was foul or not. "Doesn't smell poisoned."

"Oh can you smell the poison?" You laughed, grabbing a knife from the block on the counter and laying out the vegetables. 

"I have an excellent sniffer, I'll have you know," he argued, "though I will say it's a bit easier to sus out a poison in my furrier form."

"Do not transform yourself into a dog in my kitchen Sirius," Lily snapped, "you never want to put your clothes back on."

"That's got nothing to do with the dog," you commented and James laughed. 

"Didn't realize I'd been invited to dinner just to endure all this abuse." Sirius grumbled though there was a smile threatening to break across his face, letting you know that he wasn't nearly as upset as he was playing at. 

     You sat beside Sirius for dinner, Lily sending you suggestive looks whenever she thought he was too engrossed in conversation with James to notice (though you knew Sirius better than most and were sure that he had most definitely noticed). Dinner at Lily and James' was like always, fun and lighthearted, conversation steering away from anything too troubling (no talk of the coming darkness) until you were all a little more than tipsy and you'd taken to openly leaning against Sirius when the party moved to the living room. 

He was first to take his leave, though he announced that you were going with him, "think we'd best get home, this one's got work in the morning," were his exact words and the way he said 'home' as if it belonged to both of you made your wine drunk heart skip a beat. You were warm from the alcohol and the fire and hugs goodbye but you still managed to wrap yourself in Sirius' arms as you walked down the sidewalk in Godric's. 

"You know, I think it would be quite nice to have a little flat somewhere, we could decorate it together and have all our friends round for dinner parties and we could go all over the world on holidays." You suggested, the grey of his eyes especially haunting as he measured your words. 

"Sounds lovely," he agreed, though whether that was because it did sound lovely or because he was placating you, even he wasn't positive. 

You both went home and the spell of Godric's Hollow was lifted and when the envelope arrived by owl a week later, Sirius was gone again. Back to his shared flat with Remus and you were back to pretending all the pieces of him that he'd left behind didn't hurt. Remus had assured you, when you'd blubbered rather unattractively over the phone with him two days after things turned sour, that it was just the way things worked between the two of you ("eventually one of you, or both of you, god willing, will mature enough to commit to the relationship you both so desperately crave"). The advice was not what you wanted to hear, to no one's surprise, and you resigned yourself instead to the knowledge that you would not have to see Sirius until the wedding, or rehearsal dinner or whatever Lily had planned. You could stay in the flat in Cambridge that was once again, only yours, and Sirius could go about his own life doing whatever it was that he did when you were taking time away from each other. 

By your own determination and Lily's unwavering devotion to you as a friend, there were no run-ins until the rehearsal dinner, which Sirius was late to. He arrived looking somewhat frazzled, on a flying motorcycle of all things, and apologizing profusely to Lily and James for his tardiness. You were standing with Remus, who'd been tasked with walking beside you until Sirius arrived, watching him greet the jovial couple.

"My mum told me that if I would only stop fooling around with Sirius I might find some nice bloke and settle down," you whispered to Remus when he nudged you gently with his elbow. 

"That sounds very uncharacteristic for you," he replied, "do you plan on taking her advice?"

"Unfortunately, for myself and for her, I really don't," you finally tore your gaze away from your sometimes companion (just as he looked your way) to meet Remus' amused gaze, "I always think I will but then he shows up somewhere and I know I won't." 

"Remus, I see you've taken your rightful place as best man," Sirius teased, wedging himself into the nonexistent space between the two of you. If it wasn't so obvious that you and Remus harbored no feelings for each other, someone might have supposed that Sirius was jealous of his friend receiving your attention. 

"I already told James I didn't want it when he asked me first," Remus joked, moving over a step to accommodate his friend. 

"Did you really?" Sirius called, looking around the small crowd for James and then settling on him, "you asked Remus first?"

"Second best again Padfoot," you teased. 

He looked at you with mild surprise before gasping dramatically and clutching at his chest, "my best friends...all this time and it seems all of my best friends prefer Remus over me?"

"Sorry mate," Remus laughed, clapping a hand on Sirius shoulder. 

He waved him away, "it's alright there Moony, I would probably choose you too."

"I was only teasing anyway Sirius," he promised. 

Lily managed to reign the boys in again, one more walk down the aisle with the correct partners, as she so explained, already walking to her place at the end of the pews. She had on a short white dress with a lace overlay that made her look like something out of a magazine. The absolute picture of beauty with her long ginger hair and bright green eyes. You were almost envious as you watched the way James watched his soon to be bride smiling at him from the other side of the small church. But then you moved your gaze down the row of gathered groomsmen, not having to go very far to find Sirius stood beside James, watching you the same way his best friend watched Lily. 

You held his gaze the whole way down the aisle and you thought that your resolution not to let him back into your life would be all for naught. You'd be surprised if he didn't come home with you tonight. 

"I heard he's been out recently," Dorcas whispered, disrupting your dreamlike fantasy and you turned your head, drowning out Lily and James rehearsal vows so that you could hear your friend's gossip better. 

"Who with?"

"I didn't get specifics, Marlene knows though. She's the one that told me." She replied.

"Yeah well, she's the one he was out with last time." You replied. 

"You act like it doesn't bother you." 

You shrugged at the suggestion, "I've been out to."

When you turned back, in time to follow the fake married couple down the aisle, Sirius was extending his arm and staring at you with mild interest. The sort that said he wanted to know what it was you were talking about because of course he had noticed you talking to Dorcas. You only offered a smile though, letting him lead the both of you down to the back of the church where Lily was slipping her feet out of her heels. 

"These blasted shoes, I tried to charm them to be comfortable and it's just been rubbish." She complained, bending to pick them up.

"Ask Mary, she's good at all those nonsensical charms," you offered, ignoring the look Sirius was still giving you. He was standing so close he was hovering and when you continued to ignore him in favor of saying goodbye to Peter and Dorcas, he pinched at your sides. "Would you stop it?"

"Would you pay attention to me?" 

"I pay plenty of attention to you, if I paid you anymore I would go broke," you huffed, turning to look at him. The pinching stopped and he placed his hands on your waist instead, keeping you close enough that he could whisper and no one would overhear the conversation. 

"What did Dorcas say?"

"About what?"

"About...you know what." He replied.

"Ah," you smiled, "about you sleeping around?"

"I'm not sleeping around! Is that what she said? A date or two but not sleeping around, god." He huffed, seeming personally offended by Dorcas' comment.

"Oh stop, I told her it wasn't a bother to me." You replied, "besides, I imagine I know where you'll be sleeping tonight." 

Sirius grinned, "is that an invitation?" 

You nodded, looking over his shoulder to the front of the church, already decorated for the wedding tomorrow morning. "Maybe we should get married?"

"Would you like that?" He asked, pinching at your side once more.

"Stop it!" You laughed and swatted away his hands, "and to answer your question, I wouldn't mind it one bit. Though I'm opposed to taking your last name only, perhaps a hyphen?" 

"Oh god, how about I take yours instead?" He suggested, "forget Black altogether."

You nodded, "we could have our own little flat?"

"Go on lots of holidays." He replied. 

"Oh but I'd feel awful leaving Remus alone in your old place," you pointed out, envisioning a very sad Remus home alone. 

"I really wouldn't mind," the actual one cut in, having overheard his name in the conversation. 

"Nonsense Moony, they could move into ours."

"I don't actually like your flat though Sirius," you replied.

"How could you not like it?"

"Are you three coming?" James called, looking over at your small party. "We're heading out for drinks."

Sirius took your hand, "we shall discuss the logistics later," he promised, pulling you toward the exit of the church where Remus had already joined James and Lily. 

"I look forward to it."

[nalpurex]

i got souyo brainworms again and i gotta share some thoughts i have

this ones a long one so ill put a 'keep reading' thing here just in case yall dont wanna scroll past a wall of text

basically some headcanons about a healthy mix of chad narukami and normal yu, injecting loads of gap moe into this guy

(and it eventually devolves into some weird semi-story because my brains really spiralling here)

okok so, hear me out, chad narukami isnt that bad as an idea...? maybe as a more calm iteration, just another layer to yu

in the p4 manga, we get to see some of yu's backstory. (its been a while since ive read it so i might get some details wrong but) his parents are very busy people, always working and moving around, so yu's always moving around with them

because of this, hes a very independent but also lonely kid. poor guy doesnt talk much with his own mom and dad, and he never really have a good enough chance to form lasting friendships

so when he moves to inaba and starts making friends there, hes like 'oh i really want to keep these guys around...' so he starts putting up a bit of a persona (hah), some cool, unfazed guy that everyone can rely on thinking thats what people might like more. to his credit, it works pretty well, but its a bit stifling for yu himself. hes never had this many friends though, so he'll keep it up

we all know yosuke admires him quite a fair bit as is, just as a dependable friend and a strong leader. he looks up to yu in these aspects, thinking hes basically the perfect guy. (and lets never unpack that thought.) talented, charming, 'gets all the ladies', that kind of stuff

at some point its just the two of them, maybe walking home from school or something, yu gets pretty comfortable and his facade slips a little. maybe he says something completely silly, or heavens forbid theres a stray cat along the road! ("awww look at the little guy, cmeree, pspsps- oh- ahem- uh, its pretty cute...") it surprises yosuke quite a bit. he's thinking about it a lot as they part ways, it was... definitely a new side to his partner, but its also not a bad thing...

after that, yosuke starts noticing more small things about yu. whenever he invites anyone to share his lunch, its always something they like. whenever the IT are talking, he makes sure no one feels left out. he likes cats, a lot more than hes willing to show, and he loves nanako a whole lot too. his partner's... a bit of a softie under that calm and collected vibe, isnt he?

(alternatively, it'd be really funny if the entire IT knew? like "yeah, hes got a straight face all the time and sparkles fly around him whenever he strikes a pose, but hes got a dedicated schedule for hanging out with us and hes always asking when we're free. hes a big puppy, really.")

anyways, yosuke tries to encourage him to show more of this other side of him. stuff like "c'mon, we'll think you're cool either way!" and yu at first is a little hesitant, so yosuke suggests he just try it out with him

he feels some pride about it, because hes the first to learn about this side of yu! his partner trusts him the most, hes the most comfortable around him! (whats this strange other feeling? hm. dont like that.)

yu takes a little more time with the others, but theyre very welcoming about it nonetheless. specifically, they find it very charming! (making cute shapes in your bento? sewing cute stuffed toys with kanji? playing with literally every single stray cat you lay your eyes on? hell yeag.)

of course the facade doesnt completely shatter, because some parts of it are still true to yu. its just that he'll now crack the dumbest joke youve heard in your life with the same old straight face

(aaand now to derail for the sappy stuff huhuhu)

because yosuke's usually the first to be exposed to whatever new shenanigans yu's up to, eventually he starts getting some... weirder things. he brings some of it up to the other IT members and he looks insane, like:

"what? he hasnt been giving you guys origami?"

"why would he? i mean itd be cool, but thats just his part-time job isnt it? hes probably sick of paper cranes!"

"cranes... haha, yeah..." (as he thinks about the row of stupid paper animals sitting on his windowsill)

yu over time starts getting real sweet with yosuke, and he kind of gets the feeling he should just... keep this to himself...? especially when he doesnt see him acting this way with anyone else, and a small part of him wants to keep it to himself. all of this, just for him.

but that would be kind of gay, wouldnt it? hes not gay, is he...? he gets pretty happy whenever yu smiles at him, whenever he does something for him, but its just because he appreciates him as his partner... right?

eventually it all comes to a head when yu invites him to that... that spot high up in inaba. (ykno the one, its got the railing and shit.)

yosuke's climbing the hill, wondering whats yu gonna tell him, and at the top he sees him already waiting there as the sun's about to set on a nice breezy day

he kinda jokes a bit about it, like "damn did you ask me to come here now for the atmosphere?" but yu's strangely quiet

so they kinda just stand in a bit of an awkward silence before yu clears his throat... and confesses to yosuke.

...

they just. stare at each other for a bit. yosuke's at a loss, heat slowly rising in his cheeks, because what the hell?

and then yu explodes into a flustered mess, bumbling about "hey yeah man you dont have to accept if you dont wanna, i was just saying things yknow? you dont really have to-"

yosuke cuts him off, sighing a little. he tells him its okay, hes kinda had a feeling he felt the same way but he wasnt ready yet... and now his partner's confessing to his face, he cant really put it off anymore, can he?

("by the way, did you plan this? like, the timing and everything?"

"i... had a hard enough time saying 'i like you' with a straight face as it was, i kind of had to..."

"... ah.")

[jadechase]

Ten people i'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @simonthesneasnake

Last song: Winter Anymore, by critical role. I think we can all establish that Ashley Johnson is a natural treasure, and she nailed this song aswell. Yasha really hits close to the heart, and Ashley's voice makes it a bullseye.

Favourite colour: a kind of dark blue, but its not really dark. It goes a bit towards green. Idk how to describe it but its lightdarkblue

Last book: Thieves Gambit by Kayvion Lewis, i havent finished it yet, but i blame school. Break has started so ill probably have it finished within a few days. Im really in love with it already. After that i think im gonna read sword catcher, wich i have already bought, and maybe ill finish Percy Jackson and the chalice of the gods, but im kinda saving that for a sad day cause it just gives me that nostalgia giggles.

Last Movie: Bad mom's 2, its a Christmas movie and it was actually pretty funny. I watched it with my mom, since she wanted to watch a Christmas movie with me and this one didnt seem all too bad. If we're talking kind of movies i like: marvel and Disney movies, but basically anything fantasy with sparks of humor and trauma (yes Disney does trauma in their movies you just have to look for it)

Last tv-show: Does critical role count? If not i would bet it is the legend of vox machina. Yes im critically critical role obsessed, they have become a part of me. But anyways i really wanna watch arcane and even more so since some of my friends from the uk told me its really good and id really like it. I also watch a lot of British detectives, no im not from Britain, but i wouldnt know wich one i watched last+its something of a tradition with my parents so i didnt really count them.

Sweet/savoury/spicy: Sweet>Savoury>spicy,

I love spicy food but i dont really crave it, i would also say it really depends on the moment and what ive eaten already cause my stomach is very specific with what it can handle at a certain moment of my day...

Relationship status: Singleeeeeee. Isnt everyone? No i just tell myself that. Seriously tho i really dont mind it, its something i choose for myself as i believe i dont really have the time for a relationship. I do have the time im just not willing to sacrifice it wich i think says enough. (Also im pretty young so im good)

Last thing I googled: Sims 4 cheat codes, I installed the game a week ago and got some spare time on my hands yesterday so I decided to play a bit, the game however went a little too slow for my stress-powered brain so i decided to speed up the process.

Current obsession: Critical role/bg3, i am in love with the cr cast and they really feel like older siblings to me, as i am an only child. And bg3 just is an amazing game and the voice actors are also such a lovely community (i sense a pattern here, Hmm) I am Particularly in love with aliona and jen(iffer English) they are such a cutesy couple and are just warmth all around.

Looking forward to:

WINTER BREAK

It starts tomorrow and i already have so many fun things planned. Im going ice skating, watching my series and hopefully catching up a bit on critical role c2. I am also really looking forward to having time to get better at New skills, i have been attempting to learn blender but have been stuck on the same part of a tutorial for 3 months. My reading has greatly diminished aswell so im hoping the Christmas spirit will have me reading in the mornings from the comfort of my warm bed. Also gonna see some family over the holidays (i see them a lot but theyre getting older so i really like spending time with them, it brings me peace)

Tagging (no pressure)

@annemarieyeretzian @sleepy-insomnia-bear @mightypike @girldalf @greatnightbat @mollymauk-widogast @laurasbailey @imisskeyleth @laudnasmoon @youremypeople

[storm-flyer]

Continuing my rewatch of Dragons: Riders of Berk, with episode 8, "Portrait of Hiccup as a buff young man"

If there's any riders of berk episode I remember with clarity, it's this one. I recall absolutely adoring this episode, and even now I could tell you most of the plot. As I remember it:

Stoick and hiccup pose for a portrait together, but hiccup is drawn much more buff than he is. He isn't happy about it, but stoick thinks it's fine. The dragon riders go on a quest/treasure hunt based on some sort of poem written by a previous chief's son, seen earlier in the episode in a similar portrait to the one of stoick and hiccup. The quest has riddles, and hiccup is the only one to get the answers right. At one point they have to pick an object that's 'the purest' and the floor opens up or something. The find the end of the treasure hunt and the final riddle or poem or something, and it turns out that the guy who wrote the riddle was also a hiccup. Episode ends with a new portrait being painted, this time with hiccup as he is.

I mean, I could be wrong. Anyway.

- Bucket's a painter! Who knew

- 'Chest out son.' 'Yeah, this is as far as it goes, dad.'

- 'You're part of an elite group now my friend. And one of the few that wasn't killed by their successor.'

- 'Looks like some sort of map. With poetry.' 'Ill take that.' 'Hey, that was my poetry map!'

- 'All these were supposed to be destroyed.' the poems were that bad huh

- 'For your own good kids, forget you ever saw this.' gobber. You cant seriously think that'll work.

- 'Hey bucket? Why am I so, like that?' 'Why is the sky blue? Why do I have a bucket on my head? We'll never know the answers.'

- 'But it's not me.' 'Sure it is! It's you but, you know. Bigger, stronger.'

- 'You know it's viking tradition to call the runt if the litter hiccup!' 'Come on, little hiccup. Oh, hey hiccup!' I always thought this scene was from the first movie for some reason

- 'What do I have to do to get my father to accept me?' 'He does accept you. He just accepts the painting more.' Astrid, girl-

- 'You're gonna go after this no matter what I say, right?' she knows him well

- 'You had the map and you didn't destroy it? What were you thinking?' you know it's bad when stoick points out the obvious

- 'Call on magni, you'll go astray. Freya though, will show the way.' 'Oh, I get it *snotlout whacks his head into the ice*' truly, I'd love to know what goes through this guy's head

- 'It was in the glacier! I knew it!' 'Oh, you knew it did you? Then how come we spent a week digging in the sand?'

- 'Yeah, looks like the little hiccup's got the best of us. And we think we're the big, strong vikings.' 'What are you saying gobber?' 'Stoick, it's the painting.'

- 'Serpents? I hate serpents. These are reptiles, right?' tuffnut, I hate to break this to you-

- 'Do we really need that treasure?! Isn't our friendship treasure enough?'

- Now I'm wondering how the dude got it there in the first place without a dragon

- The knife kicking skills return

- 'You know you don't have to do this, right?' 'Yeah, try telling that to my dad.'

- 'Why else would anyone build a wall in the middle of the woods?' 'Uh, duh, to keep out the other trees' the other riders don't even react to tuff's nonsense anymore

- 'Why are you asking him? Maybe I know.' *silence* 'I said maybe.'

- Well that's one hell of a sophisticated door

- 'Guys, is it just me or is the floor moving?' EW bugs

- If they burn hotter than the sun (though yes, probably more metaphorical than literal), than the other dragons fire shouldn't do anything, right?

- 'Its getting really hard to breathe!' 'Thats what happens when you're getting roasted alive!'

- 'No! We're not leaving them!' 'If we don't go now, we'll all be trapped. There won't be anyone to help hiccup.' for all that Astrid is sensible and observant, she is very viking in how she's really in the moment.

- 'We've gotta find them!' 'Find who?' *Astrid and fishlegs share horrified expressions* yeah that's fair

- 'This treasure was passed from father to son. I leave it to you, the next worthy one. For only a hiccup could get this far, from one to another, be proud of who you are.'

- 'Oh come on Hamish, you're killing me' if you're not careful, maybe literally

It was just as good as I remember. Though I did completely forget about the gobber and stoick part of it.

Onwards!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas! I kinda needed a bit of advice so this is going to be a long rant

So last year there was a new girl at our school. I had just gotten over a crush, someone who I knew wouldn't like me back so I was pretty bored because what else can a queer teen girl do instead of fantasising about other girls. So when I saw her for the first time, she was reading a book. I thought she was new but I wasnt sure so I had to reconfirm. The next period turns out, she ended up in one of my language classes where she had to introduce herself.

Well, long story short (idk if ill survive) my best friend managed to make us sit together in another common class and that was the start of our friendship (i pined after her the WHOLE summer break because i was too shy to talk to her despite being an extrovert). We started texting and stuff So I established that i liked her and told her um one day before my besties birthday (pretty soon im excited) andddddddd guess whatttttttttttt. she rejected me. WEEEE

but one day in September i went to her art exhibition with my mom and our moms got to talking and i was still mad in love despite being rejected but anyway a day after that in school we had a small assembly about the lgbtqia+ community and how its okay to like girls, being in an all girls school so after that she texted me saying that she liked me and i FREAKED because i was so EXCITED welp. um. even tho she liked meeeeeeee we ended up in a situationship because she didnt wanna date and i was confused but didnt wanna force her

now my bestie has a theory which I directly quoted:

I think as a new girl, she wanted to make friends. And her best friend's nice, fine, whatever, but have you noticed that she rarely talks to your girlfriend once she's with her friends? Even your girlfriend must have. The point is, you were nice, kind, friendly. You wanted to be "friends" or so she first thought. It was a good friendship, and then you confessed. Our theory was that she didn't say that she liked you back then was because she didn't. Then you might've accidentally gone and done the thing where you avoid people, especially because you felt that you had ruined everything. So she confessed to not lose you. And then you ended up dating after whyever she didn't want to date was sorted out. She knew that you'd always treat her right and then she tried so it would be like a relationship. Then once you said you loved her, romantically, she knew you were going to be around. And then she eventually stopped trying. I think that she got attached to you at some point in time, and that's when the whole thing with the constant "I miss you"s started. The original basis of the theory was something we had discussed before, not you and me, but yeah, and I just elaborated with whatever information I've learnt today.

anyway most of my close friends disapproved of the relationship because she never reciprocated their efforts to get to know each other because both parties were going to be major parts of my life and never seemed to speak to me when they were around but i was blind and stupid and didnt listen to them and actually ended up ditching people to hangout with wonderful gf who said ok to dating 2 days after my bday

anyway so recently i been feeling like i wanna break up with her? so obv first person i go to is my best friend bc she's is the platonic loml and then she helps and we forget about it. mind you we're mid exams rn and like a few days ago i have had the nagging feeling i wanna breakup with her. bestie. my best friend makes me list out reasons and gets trauma dumped on.

basically I feel like we never have real conversations or communicate properly and it's always just kind of baby talk? even when it's serious, so like. yeah and then sometimes when i'm talking about my interests, she just goes "ew" and doesn't listen? and I help her when she fights with her best friend, but when I fight with mine she just replies "oh" and nothing else.

and the thing is we have very different schedules, but she always expects me to compromise on mine for hers like she stays up and I wake up early but she calls me late at night when i'm sleeping because "she missed me"??? she did this once on the day before a test and she knew that I wanted to get up early to revise. not to mention, she once also called my mom a psycho. yeah, so all of that and the fact that she never gave me gifts for our six month anniversary while I made her several boquets of paper flowers and shit I thought that maybe she didn't think we were doing that but I didn't get anything afterwards either. it's the same with gifts in general. and she doesn't really match my wild side or wants to do cliche coupley things that I want to do and I don't want to force her but I also really want to do them?

anyway i kinda got some shit going on in my life? and i kinda told gf that i may be emotionally unavailable but we'll talk about this after midterms. thing is. i may have told gf i wanna be friends but i dont actually now idk how to do damage control? But in my best friend's opinion it will just make shit more complicated and hurt both our feelings

idk what to do. everyone around me has biased opinions, so, yeah

Hi! <3

Okay, here's the thing. You're listening to everyone's opinion right now but your own. What do YOU want? Whatever you want, like really want, you need to decide that. And then you need to nicely tell your (ex)gf that. Because forcing your feelings for other peoples' benefit will only result in other people being hurt.

If you want to be with this girl, you need to communicate your feelings about her not being available enough. if you want space, you need to tell her that, too.

Either way, decide what YOU want, you know? Stop listening to others <3

naming you paper flower anon

[usertoxicyaoi]

ill be honest with you faiza. i truly dont want be negative but i dont think sungho will ever choose junseong. even if he says hes indecisive between him and seonwoo, he'll always choose seonwoo in the end as long as he keeps giving him any hope. and im not saying sungho doesnt like junseong, they clearly get along so well, even if nothing else happens their relationship as friends or something else makes my heart warm, anyone can see it, but he keeps saying that since he's never had a chance to be on a date with him he doesn't know but they've been together so many times... they were roommates too...

it breaks my heart because you can see that since the beginning junseong has never lied and has never jumped between people. his heart has always been in the same direction and he has never played with anyones feelings, truthfully he's i think the only person, or at least the one i respect the most in that house.

you can also see that he himself has no hopes either, he's like "i dont think he'll choose me but ill pursue him anyway because that's just how much i like and feel for him". there's also that scene where he cries and i know the trailer is edited in a way where the context for most scenes is all wrong but... to see him cry, i can tell it's not because of something good. i hate to see someone im rooting for going after someone that might never show any interest in them, it hurts a bit to see. (this is not me hating on sungho!! love that cutie but i just dont know...i know he's not trying to be hurtful on purpose its just how these things are)

i try to not get involved in dating shows because these things never go well but maybe its because im queer too and i feel different about a dating show dedicated to queer people. and maybe its also because i just feel for junseong and i just want him to be happy but im truly nervous about the next episodes... im sorry to just write so much about this to you but i started watching this because of you so you should feel responsible!

hiiii anon!!!

oh anon, i know what you mean. i truly do love junsung from the bottom of my heart. he's from one of the few people who have just. remained true and genuine. and its how much he likes sungho and how clear as day he is about it, but at the same time, never putting any stress or pressure on sungho. he's so selfless but will stand his ground and is determined and its everything you'd want.

and i get what u mean. theres this fear that all seunwoo has to do is give an inch and sungho will go to him. and that might happen. but, as of now, sungho said in ep 7 that he feels equally for them both. truth is it hurt seeing just how stressed sungho looked tbh. he doesnt want to hurt anyone with the decisions he makes and none of it comes from a place of malice.

but i also wanna say that sungho isnt naive. he isnt stupid. he clearly can read seunwoo and junsung and their body language so well. he observes it all. and he's starting to notice seunwoo for the people pleaser that he is. and at some point sungho's got to make that call of what it is he wants to go for, but he isnt stupid. so, yeah, i havent given up hope on 2sung just yet, not at all. we're only halfway through the show!

what we are all certain on is that junsung will keep fighting till the end for sungho's affection.

and i also feel like saying that, yeah, the phonecalls are a huge part of the show, but they arent the be all and end all. i know we're all, just like junsung, waiting for sungho to choose junsung and ring him, but there's so so much sungho has done and shown outside of that that shows his feelings towards junsung. and i think that matters just as much. the notes, the choosing junsung as his roommate again, all the little things in episode 7 between them, there is so much warmth and genuine affection sungho has towards junsung too. and that keeps junsung going, makes it worth it bc sungho is giving something back to him too.

of course, its sungho's call to make at the end of the day, but i wouldnt get disheartened just yet!

[just-a-domesticated-cryptid]

ok so this is my embarrassing hinge date story

where i am the villain

i admit i was in the wrong but honestly i was too much of a pussy to do anything else

so anyway, this guy swipes on me on hinge and he's pretty cute so i start texting him

and ngl

we're really vibing through text

but week in, i realised

oh shit, im still not over this one guy fully and i keep comparing them and it's not fair for the hinge guy

but we're really vibing so we can be friends, it's not the end of the world. and he asked me out on a date but since we're getting along so well through text, it'll be better in real life

i was wrong

he was very

boring

really, not my type, but we could be friends. he seemed extremely chill and calm and personally, in a relationship i want someone more... opinionated

but as the date progressed and we kept talking, something dawned on me.

something that crushed every thought of us ever being friends

looks wise, he didn't remind me of anyone

but his personality? his hobbies? the uni course? his goddamn plans for the future??

goddamn carbon copy of my cousin

which, for me, was WEIRD

i could literally imagine my cousin saying the words he was

IT WAS TERRIFYING. I HATED EVERY SECOND OF IT

but i persevered to the end (my friend had a medical emergency and i had to run to our flat)

still, 3 long hours of hanging out with a guy who had an uncanny resemblance to my cousin (but we grew up like brothers, under the same roof and raised by the same woman, and we're still very close)

i got home

i lay down on the carpet and close my eyes

and he texts me

and, listen

there is nothing actually wrong with him. he was actually very sweet and im sure he'll find the perfect person for him

i am NOT that person

he messaged me (i will not recreate it, but you can imagine the type of text one would send after a date they assume went smoothly)

and i thought long and hard for a week on how to reject him.

should i tell him the truth? no, that's weird

should i make something up? no, that's lying and i don't like to lie. makes me feel too guilty

being honest about the parts of him that I didn't like? that'd be harsh

so i picked the worst option of them all

i blocked him and deleted my hinge account

its been a month and we go to the same university and im honestly terrified of the possibility of bumping into him

but i just had to confess

i know i was awful but ill have to live with that from now on

[pwblogarchive]

February 2005

February 1, 2005

im guessing you are regretting this monster you created. he gave me a prescription and said "these will take take care of your shyness". noone really gets that part though. and who ever wanted you to come out of your shell anyhow. maybe im just pretty sure that i am a total bore. and there's nothing tragic at all, this is (i'm) completely ordinary. and that's whats so tragic. it's so fucking mundane. so while we're all wasting our eyesight on these screens late into the night dying to find some connection to someone- our backs breaking from being hunched over the keyboard- im sending mail addressed to myself just so i get some. im looking in the mirror and dissecting myself, just a smile connected to a pulse, barely connected at that. this wont make any sense when i read it in the morning. i dont want to sleep alone anymore.

- petey

February 2, 2005

“lets pet puppies”

seriously though, lets pet puppies. i have one at home and i had a dream the other night that he was in desperate need of some petting. then i went to my folks and sure enough, he needed some pets. so i did. anyway, im way late on the oc trend, but im into it. ive been co-opting steeg's season 1 dvd and i must say im in love. im three discs in thanks to her. i dont have much to say about it other than its hard to stop watching. its really late right now. ive consumed half of a crumb cake, half a bag of chips with some dip, the rest of my salami, some soy milk, and some rc cola. im disapointed with the fact that ive been periodically drinking soda. it makes me feel so sick. i got an exercise bike the other day. havent used it yet. i should consider using it. it took me 2 hours to put it together. i feel like it owes me some sort of compensation. maybe a fine meal? a flick? a foot massage? who knows, its really up in the air. havent really made any purchases lately except i went grocery shopping the other day. now i have food. ive been trying not to eat out and not to buy stuff. its going somewhat swimingly. i must say that this is such an un-interesting entry. its as boring as a new yorker cartoon. its not fun like those picture searches in highlights magazine. i miss highlights. oh well. currently sleep is calling me but im trying to fight it. and now its about to overtake me. so i bid you all a farewell. if you have foreskin, clean it regularly. sanders, im talking to you.

February 4, 2005

“honeynutcheerios” 12:55am

I am gonna do a real update later. Me and patrick are sitting the cafe they shot swingers in. I keep calling patrick "baby". Joe and andy are asleep back in the midwest. I saw the initial art for the record cover today, I don't think you will expect it. I like it a lot though. look around the internet for a new song in the next month or so, it will be very very hidden.

Our friends in new found glory are in europe right now so we had to send chad an mp3 to scream on and send back, bi-continental like jayz "the blueberry still connects"... Look out for that on the record. Chad that is, not jay z.

Oh yeah is it me or do I have a total crush on "kate was like" from the messageboard. Brighteyes, weakerthans, super cute and an attitude... Swoon. Girls don't come much hotter.

Too bad I'm gay.

oh yeah and i'm trapped in l.a. and homesick. so i want to exchange intergeek valentines with you. if you send me a sweet valentine message, ill send you one back: valentinepete@hotmail.com-

be mine

Peeeeeeeter

ps im playing ghosts and gobins on oldschool nintendo and i think im gonna make a bottle of milk that tastes like after honey nut cheerios were in it- how good would it be if they sold that shit. im not making sense,

February 8, 2005

Iamthedream - Youarethedreamer

new clandestine stuff for the spring, pick it up over at www.clandestineindustries.com in the next couple of months.

February 14, 2005

Turn Up The Geek Factor

im sorry i have gotten sick. my valentines will be finished as soon as possible.

stay lovely.

peter

February 14, 2005

throwing up in the sink(ing feeling)

Hey. I'm back. Actually not really. I am in nyc. I found myself here last week trying to get better and get stuff for our record finished. Thanks for all of the kind words from everyone. Don't want to say too much right now. Keep your eyes on the site. Interesting things will be happening in the next month. Buy your tickets for the u.s. Tour now its almost all sold out. Go watch harold and maude. Clandestine has a couple of limited and exclusive items in hottopic right now. Stop by and grab some and tell them we sent you. I can't wait to see everybody.

Trouble loves me but not as much as you do I hope.

Peterpan

[shoezuki]

online dnd is lookin really promising rn lads

[lazypanartist]

So of course Im gonna do a Bonus Thing for Donnie x Yokai reader like the rest but i just had... either a Big Brain or Big Dumb idea of the different readers and the brothers talking to each other hang on lemme just--

----

Mikey: I dunno... *sigh* What if I mess up confessing to Starsick?

Raph: *snorts* Please, theyre so delighted with anything you say to them they wouldnt even notice.

Don: *typing something, deleting something, typing again* You could probably say something along the lines of "mmme date? you? please yes?" and they'd think its cute.

Leo and Raph: *laughs*

Mikey: Oh shut it! >:[ I just dont want to ruin my chances...

Leo: Believe me, baby bro, they are ENTIRELY smitten with you. Just go for it! Heck, at least you arent in Don-Tron's shoes.

Don: *stiffens* Hey!

Raph: Night Eyes is...Kinda scary man, sorry. I dont know how you wont choke asking em out.

Leo: You think theres like a whole custom thing you gotta do? or can you just take em out for tacos and woo em with your knowledge of ant farms?

Don: *grumbling* I shouldve dumped the colony in your bed while you were asleep- Look, ill take em to a nice restaurant, maybe go dancing... once I text them....

Raph: You cant take em to Hueso's, Mikey called that one.

Leo: Hey, not to bat for donnie, but Mikey also called like....17 other places. He's gotta pick one. And anyways, Raph, whats your plan?

Raph: *blushing* I dunno what you mean.

Mikey, Leo and Donnie: PLEASE.

Donnie: You are, according to extensive data research and watching you and Origami with my own eyes, crushing HARD on each other.

Mikey: Yeah! Come on big guy, you gotta ask em out. You're so sweet on them and they seem like they feel real comfortable around you.

Leo: *nods nods* You gotta do it bro. You're adorable together, and I think youre really good for em. Plus im worried they might, like, cry or throw up if they try and ask you out.

Raph: Whatever *rolls eyes* ...and what about you, eh?

Leo: *blink* What do you mean?

Don: ???When are you finally gonna ask Homie out??

Mikey: theyre already dating guys. I overheard them talking about date night on saturday.

Leo: Guys i already told yo- wait were you eavesdropping on us...? nevermind. We arent dating. Homie's just a close friend, they dont even like me like that.

Raph, Donnie, Mikey, Splinter (who just wanted some cake and is now part of This Shit): 🤨😒

-- Elsewhere, at a cafe --

Starsick: Gosh i dunno what if Michelangelo's just being nice?

Night Eyes: Mh, no. He's down bad. He looks at you like you hung the moon in the sky.

Homie: Look, if he doesnt ask you out by the end of the week, hes probably just nervous. try confessing your feelings and see if that helps!

Origami: *nods* a direct approach is a good one.

Night Eyes: Which is why I'm asking ~Othello von Ryan~ to come visit me at a dance hall. after dinner, of course. Sushi, my treat. 💅✨

Homie: Ooohohoo~ Look at you, going in for the kill!

Night Eyes: Hes just so cute~ I like how he talks about space travel. so facinating!

Homie: So, when are you going to tell Big Red you like him?

Origami: *sputters, face red* What!! No! I do not! I just, he, um..!!

Starsick: Is nice to you, helps calm you down, encourages you to take care of yourself....

Homie: *counting on fingers* reminds you of a teddy bear, thinks you look cute when you pout, helped get you out of the foot clan...

Night Eyes: Is so painfully smitten with you yet you remain unaware.

Origami: >~< he's so sweet, and Im worried I might...be mean, or blunt, and it makes him not like me....How did you ask Leonardo out?

Homie: ...??? who, me?

Origami: ...yes??

Homie: Oh, we arent dating. We're just friends, he doesnt like me like that.

Night Eyes, Origami, Starsick, April (who was bringing their order and is now in the middle of all This Shit): 🤨😒

-📝 Anon

WNSKABDODB

OHHH MY GOD

Everyone being friends and trying to help them ask each other out?? Leo and Homie being Big Gay Idiots is, like, my WHOLE Aesthetic!