#after all this is the second time it's burst in the freezing cold

[diamonddaze01]

fleeing feelings

pairing: hvc x fem!reader | best friend!seungkwan genre: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, university au wc: 9.6k warnings: alcohol consumption (pls drink responsibly!!) a/n: for @k-vanity 's “falling for you” event! My prompts were London Fog (“You said what to who now?! Why?!”) and Pumpkin Spice Latte (“Excuse me, but is this seat taken?”) // enormous thank you to @cheolism for the most gorgeous banner // and thank you to my lovely betas @lovetaroandtaemin and @tusswrites

summary: so you might have told vernon you loved him while drunk – now all you have to do is avoid him. forever. 

The headache is real.

It feels like someone decided your skull was the perfect canvas for a jackhammer. Each throb sends waves of pain coursing through your brain, and even the soft hum of the world outside your window seems like an assault on your fragile state. If it wasn’t for the fact that you’re pretty sure your last memory was of collapsing into your bed after a night of regrettable decisions, you’d swear you were dying.

You blink up at the ceiling, groaning as sunlight streams through the blinds, slicing through the dim room like a guilty conscience. Your eyes ache at the brightness, and you throw a hand over your face in an attempt to shield yourself from the assault. The cold sheets are a welcome contrast to the fire that’s raging inside your head.

You wish for sleep, but it doesn’t come. Instead, you're greeted by an annoyingly chipper voice, too loud for a Sunday morning at 11 a.m.

"Morning!" Seungkwan chirps, a little too cheerfully for someone who clearly has no understanding of the term hangover. He's holding a glass of water, like it’s the most exciting thing in the world, and you can't help but squint at him through half-closed eyes. He’s got that same gleeful smile on his face, looking way too awake for someone who shares an apartment with someone who just wants to die right now.

"Seungkwan, please... It’s too early for your brand of happiness," you croak, your voice hoarse and barely audible. Your throat feels like you swallowed sandpaper, and you barely have the strength to sit up.

"Well, it’s already late enough for me to help you feel better," he says with a grin that’s too wide to be genuine, handing you the glass of water and an aspirin like it’s some kind of miracle cure. "You don’t want to end up like last time, do you?"

You roll your eyes, trying to sit up but the world tilts dangerously. You clutch the glass like it might actually save you, your fingers trembling from the effort. "Last time?" you mutter, still a little too disoriented to make sense of anything. “I barely remember last night.”

Seungkwan’s grin stretches even wider. "Oh, last night was a memorable one," he says, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, like he’s got the best secret in the world.

You squint at him, struggling to keep your eyes open. "What do you mean by that?"

The moment it leaves your mouth, the memories come rushing back, one after another, like a broken dam finally giving way. You and Vernon had gone outside for some air, the cool night breeze refreshing against your skin. You remember the conversation turning quiet, the alcohol still buzzing in your veins, the way the breeze ruffled his hair, and then...

Oh god. Oh no.

You freeze, the blood draining from your face as your stomach drops. Your heart stutters in your chest as you try to piece it together. You had told Vernon you loved him. In your drunken haze, it had slipped out, but now? Now it feels like the kind of thing you would never, ever do if you weren’t so far gone on cheap whiskey and bad decisions.

You look at Seungkwan, your face crumpling in embarrassment. "I... I told Vernon... I told him I love him."

Seungkwan blinks at you, the shock clear on his face. For a second, it seems like he doesn’t even know how to respond. Then, his eyes widen comically, and a burst of laughter bursts from him. "You said what to who?!" He takes a step back, as if the sheer magnitude of your confession has physically knocked him off balance. "You confessed? To Vernon?" He cackles, his laugh loud and echoing in the quiet of your room.

You slump back against your pillow, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. You wish the floor would just swallow you up. "I didn’t mean to! I was drunk—okay?" you mutter, your words barely making it out.

Seungkwan is practically vibrating with laughter. "Oh my god, you actually did it," he says between fits of giggles. "That’s so—wait, wait. What did Vernon say back?"

And that’s when the panic sets in. You stare blankly at Seungkwan, your brain spinning. You want to remember, you need to remember what he said back, but it’s a complete blank. The memory of his face, his expression, even his words—they’re gone. As if it never happened. You feel a new wave of nausea rising in your stomach.

You swallow hard, forcing yourself to speak. "I don’t remember," you confess, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

Seungkwan stops laughing, blinking at you like he’s just realized you might be serious. "What do you mean you don’t remember?" he asks, sounding more confused than before.

You press the heel of your hand to your forehead, trying to steady your dizzying thoughts. "I... I can’t remember what he said back. And that’s worse than not hearing anything at all."

Seungkwan’s face falters for a second, then the teasing glint returns in his eyes. "Well... you have to face him, right? He’s literally just down the hall," he points out, his voice softening as he sits on the edge of your bed. "And you’re gonna have to talk to him eventually. You can’t avoid him forever."

You frown, looking at him as if he's spoken a foreign language. "And why the hell not?"

Seungkwan leans in, his finger counting off the reasons like he’s been preparing for this moment his whole life. "One: he’s our best friend. Two: he lives down the hall, not in another universe. And three..." He pauses, dramatically. "He’s your BEST FRIEND."

You groan, rolling over and burying your face into your pillow, desperate to block out the light, the noise, and Seungkwan’s well-meaning logic. "You already said that," you mumble into the fabric, wishing the pillow could swallow you whole.

"I’m emphasizing," Seungkwan replies, sitting back in a huff. "Emphasizing that he knows you like the back of his hand, stupid. He’s not gonna let you avoid him."

You moan into the pillow. "I can’t even think about facing him right now, Seungkwan. Not today."

"Tough. You’re facing him eventually, whether you like it or not," Seungkwan says, but his voice softens, his hand brushing your back comfortingly. "But hey, I’m your best friend. I’m here to support you through whatever happens."

You just grunt in response, curling back into the pillow like it might somehow shield you from reality. "Great. As long as you’re here to watch me suffer."

Seungkwan grins, his voice full of mischief. "That’s the plan."

You can feel the weight of your poor life choices pressing down on you as you sit in the overpriced, over-crowded coffee shop, nursing the lukewarm disaster that is your latte. It's one of those days where everything tastes like regret—coffee included. Your laptop screen blurs as you try to focus on your prelab. You're supposed to be working, supposed to be productive, but all you can do is mentally list everything that went wrong in your life in the past 48 hours.

The lab professor? Completely useless. Your grade? Already plummeting. And as for the whole Vernon situation? Yeah, let's not talk about that.

You can feel the throbbing pain in your temples as your mind drifts back to that night—the confession that slipped out of your mouth when you were way too drunk. The look on Vernon’s face... God, you're so embarrassed. If there was a hole to crawl into, you’d dive right in and never resurface.

Beside you, Seungkwan is breezing through his own prelab, the same one you’re supposed to be working on, but it seems like he’s in a completely different world. As usual. He taps away at his laptop, his fingers moving in a rhythm like he’s been here for hours—when in reality, he probably hasn’t even started yet. You scowl at your laptop as the blinking cursor mocks you for not getting anything done.

You take a deep breath, trying to pull yourself together. "God, I hate this class. And I hate that professor," you mutter, rubbing your temples. "Why did I even sign up for this? Why is life like this?"

Seungkwan doesn’t look up from his screen, but you can hear the smirk in his voice. "Because you're a glutton for punishment. You're just mad because the only thing you're getting out of this lab is the overpriced coffee."

You huff, sloshing your latte around in its cup in a way that makes you wish you could just drown in it. "Yeah, well, I’m about to drown in this lab report if I don’t figure it out soon."

"Should’ve taken easier classes," Seungkwan snorts, and you shoot him a glare. He knows you better than anyone, and he knows you're not the type to shy away from a challenge. You don’t even have the energy to argue, so you let him win this one.

The door chimes as someone enters, and your focus breaks. You glance up, hoping it's just some random student walking in to grab their iced coffee, but no.

Of course not.

You hear that low, familiar voice, the one that makes your heart do a little flip. "Is this seat taken?"

No. No. Fuck.

There, standing by the table, looking like he belongs in some glossy magazine for college students who know how to look effortlessly cool, is Vernon. The guy you still haven’t figured out how to face after that monumental fuck-up of a confession two days ago. And now? Now he’s standing there, staring at you and Seungkwan with a hesitant smile, probably wondering if it’s safe to sit down or if you’re about to sprint out of here like a coward.

Seungkwan, the absolute bastard, beams at Vernon. "Oh no, it’s totally free," he says, too eager. He's so happy to make this as awkward as possible. You could almost feel the smugness radiating off him. "Come sit, Vernon. We could use the company!"

Your heart sinks into your stomach as Vernon takes the seat across from you, not missing the subtle shift in your posture. He looks at you with those eyes of his, eyes that are both too warm and too intense, and you feel a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You can’t look at him. You can’t.

You force a smile, but it feels like you’re pushing your lips together with a crowbar. "Uh, yeah. Just working on it," you mumble, barely even aware of what you just said. Your brain is too busy doing its best to not short-circuit. You take another sip of your latte, hoping the caffeine will somehow pull you together. It doesn’t.

Seungkwan, the little devil, doesn’t help at all. He’s practically radiating glee, enjoying your discomfort far too much. "Yeah, Y/N here is just dying to finish her part of the report," he says, clearly trying to get a rise out of you. "But it's okay, she’s doing just fine! Aren’t you?" He shoots you a wink, but Vernon doesn’t catch it—thank God.

Your eyes flick to your screen, looking for any excuse to not talk to Vernon right now. You just need to not look at him. "Actually, I forgot something," you blurt out, standing up abruptly, not even thinking it through. "I just... I need to grab something. I’ll be back in a second."

You don’t wait for anyone to respond. You don’t even look at Vernon as you grab your bag and make a hasty retreat to the counter. Your heart is pounding in your ears, and your breath feels shallow. This was a terrible idea. Why did you invite him to work on the prelab in the first place? Was it because you wanted an excuse to spend time with him? To not feel so much?

You don’t know.

You leave the cafe altogether, your mind racing, and find yourself walking aimlessly for a few minutes, trying to cool off. The cold air outside stings your cheeks, but it’s a welcome distraction from the heat of embarrassment still flushing through your body.

You pull out your phone, needing something to take your mind off everything. It pings almost immediately with a message from Seungkwan:

Boo 🍊: so... how long are u gonna avoid him

You laugh weakly, but it’s more from disbelief than anything else. You text back quickly:

Y/N: i’m not avoiding him

Y/N: i’m just

Y/N: strategically distancing myself until i can look him in the eye without dying of shame

Boo 🍊: ur not gonna go back to the cafe because its too much?

Your phone dings again in quick succession. 

Boo 🍊: u realize ur only making it worse right

You squeeze your eyes shut, biting your lip to suppress a groan. Oh god, Seungkwan, shut up.

Y/N: i’m already halfway across campus

Y/N: oh well, can’t exactly go back now

Boo 🍊: he looks like you kicked him in the nuts and then ran away btw

Boo 🍊: i’m keeping him company 

Boo 🍊: ur not getting away with this btw i’m never letting u live this down

You exhale loudly, already feeling the weight of your decision in the pit of your stomach. What did you think would happen? You’ve messed this up royally. Again.

Y/N: I hate you so much.

Boo 🍊: no u don’t !  you’ll see him again soon. probably tomorrow

Y/N: fuck you

Boo 🍊: love u too! don’t worry i’ll handle this 

Boo 🍊: good luck with that prelab see u at home <3 

You slump your shoulders in defeat, staring at the screen of your phone. There’s no getting out of this. You’ve somehow managed to make this even more awkward. Of course, Seungkwan would drag it out. You wouldn’t expect any less from him.

You drag yourself back into the apartment, the weight of your failed escape attempt still heavy on your shoulders. The door slams behind you, and you sigh deeply, almost as if trying to shake the embarrassment off your body. You kick your shoes off and leave them by the door, your bag slung over your shoulder like a dead weight. You’re so done with everything.

The apartment feels like it’s mocking you—seemingly quiet, except for the hum of Seungkwan’s obnoxiously loud voice floating from the living room. You hear the faint click of his phone screen as you shuffle toward the couch. You can practically feel him smirking at your impending doom even before you see him.

Sure enough, when you walk into the living room, he’s lounging on the couch, sprawled across it in his usual dramatic fashion. He’s scrolling through his phone, one leg thrown over the side, looking like he hasn’t had a care in the world since he woke up. 

You throw yourself onto the couch next to him, feeling the familiar softness of the cushions sink beneath you. The weight of the last few hours presses down on your chest. It’s so comfortable here, but you can’t fully relax. Not with him sitting right next to you, clearly enjoying the aftermath of your spectacular mess.

“Don’t even say it,” you groan, pushing yourself into the cushions like they might swallow you whole.

He doesn’t even glance up from his phone. Instead, he lets out a small, knowing laugh. “So... how’s the avoidance game going?”

You just close your eyes for a moment, willing yourself to disappear. “I’m never leaving my room again. Ever.”

Seungkwan bursts into laughter, the sound filling the small apartment and bouncing off the walls. It’s enough to make your skin crawl, but you can’t help but feel a bit of a tug at your own lips. He’s genuinely enjoying your misery, and you hate it. “I mean, it’s been two days, and you’ve already chickened out at the café. That’s a solid record.”

You groan dramatically, rolling your head back against the cushion. “I didn’t chicken out. I just... needed a moment to not make eye contact with him, okay?”

“Sure, sure,” Seungkwan says, his voice laced with sarcasm. “That’s why you bolted out of there like a squirrel avoiding a hawk.”

You push his shoulder weakly, your fingers brushing over the soft fabric of his hoodie. “Shut up, Boo. You have no idea how embarrassing it was.”

“Of course I do,” he says smugly, setting his phone down on the coffee table with a soft thud. “I was the one trying to hold a conversation with Vernon while you were having your little meltdown across campus.”

“Can we please not talk about it?” You bury your face in your hands, muffling your groan of embarrassment.

Seungkwan’s voice is dripping with amusement. “Well, you better figure it out soon. You invited him to our café session, and now you’re running away from your own mess. It’s hilarious.”

You sit up, rubbing your face in exasperation. “I’m never going to be able to look him in the eye again.”

Seungkwan shrugs, his grin still wickedly satisfied. “Well, it’s not like you have much of a choice. I mean, unless you’re planning to live in that room of yours forever?”

You lean back against the couch, the soft fabric cool against your skin. You feel the weight of your thoughts settle in again, and with it, the overwhelming desire to hide from the world. “I can’t,” you mutter, your voice barely above a whisper. “He’s gonna know I’m avoiding him on purpose.”

“Yeah, he’s not that dumb,” Seungkwan says, flipping through his phone lazily. “But you know what? You could avoid him for a while. You just need to avoid... everything you’re supposed to do, forever.”

You turn your head slowly to look at him. “That’s your solution? Run away?”

“Pretty much,” Seungkwan says, completely unfazed. “But you have to be more creative. Maybe pretend you’re dead? Or like you have the plague?”

You snort, despite yourself, the idea so absurd that it almost lightens the mood. “Yeah, sure. I’ll just start wearing a sign around my neck: Please, don’t talk to me. I’m a walking disaster.”

Seungkwan grins, his eyes lighting up mischievously. “Honestly, I think it’s a good look for you.”

You roll your eyes, but you can’t hold back a laugh. “You’re the worst.”

Seungkwan stretches out, his grin wide and smug. “Look, I saved you today, but don’t expect me to keep doing this forever. At some point, you’re on your own.” He reaches for his phone, ready to return to his lazy scrolling.

You sit up, the absurdity of the situation hitting you in waves. “Yeah, I’ll figure it out... eventually.”

Seungkwan gives you a side-eye. “Sure you will. But for now, enjoy the free ride, disaster queen.”

It’s just your luck that, of all people, Vernon is your lab partner today. The second your professor calls your name, you feel your stomach twist into knots. You swear your internal groan echoes in the hum of the fluorescent lights above you. Why him?

Across the lab, Vernon’s already tugging on his gloves, eyeing the instructions on the counter like he’s got his shit together. You can’t help but stare at him for a second, the way his hair falls messily across his forehead, the way he moves like he doesn’t have a care in the world. The thought of having to work with him makes you feel like you’ve been thrown into a pressure cooker, and you’re about to explode.

You try to focus, really, you do. But it’s impossible. Your brain keeps wandering back to him. His fucking hums. His stupid little smile. The way his dark eyes flicker up every now and then to make sure you’re still there. It’s like he knows exactly how much he’s fucking with your head, and the worst part? He’s probably not even trying.

A Bunsen burner hisses in the background, and the sound almost makes you flinch, like it's too loud in the otherwise quiet lab. You try to focus on the beaker in front of you. Try to just get through this. But it’s hard when all you can feel is the weight of his gaze on you.

“Got it, Y/N?” Vernon’s voice cuts through your thoughts. He’s leaning against the counter now, watching you with a lazy grin, like he knows what he's doing to you.

Your face flushes involuntarily, and you shoot him a tight smile, hoping to play it cool. “Yeah, got it,” you mumble, though your mind is a jumbled mess. Your hand shakes slightly as you pick up the pipette, and you swear he notices, but he doesn’t say anything. That’s even worse. You hate how easy it is for him to get under your skin.

It’s bad enough that you’re stuck with him, but now you’ve got to get through an hour-long experiment without combusting. The tension is palpable, and it’s making you want to crawl out of your skin.

But then, just as you’re about to lose it, you spot Seungkwan strutting back from the fume hood. You swear you can feel the relief hit your chest like a tidal wave. Perfect.

Seungkwan doesn’t seem to notice you until you’re already walking toward him, your feet moving on their own accord, desperate to make the switch. When he looks up, his gaze flickers over you, and that smirk creeps onto his lips. The one you know too well. The one that says, I’m going to fuck with you now.

“What’s up, Y/N?” he asks, popping his gum. “Need help with the chemical equations? Or is it more of a personal emergency?”

You throw your hands up, exasperated. “I need to switch lab partners, Seungkwan. Like, now.”

Seungkwan raises an eyebrow, clearly entertained. “Really? What’s wrong? Does Vernon’s inability to mix chemicals properly scare you, or are you just that tired of looking at his face?”

You grimace, frustration bubbling in your chest. God, why’s he gotta make it worse? “No, it’s just… I can’t focus with him staring at me every five seconds.”

Seungkwan’s smirk widens, and you can see the wheels turning behind his eyes. “Oh, so that’s what it is, huh? You’re not focused because Vernon keeps looking at you like you’re his personal chemistry experiment?”

Your heart rate spikes. Fuck off, Seungkwan. “Shut up, I’m being serious,” you mutter, but you can hear the hitch in your voice, and it makes you want to punch yourself in the face.

Seungkwan doesn’t let up, leaning in closer with that same cocky grin, looking far too pleased with himself. “Is that why you’ve been staring at him for the last five minutes, then?” he teases, and you swear you can hear the little giggle in his voice. “I didn’t realize we were doing that kind of experiment today.”

Your blood goes hot. “Stop it!” you hiss, but you can’t keep the embarrassed flush from spreading across your face. “I just need you to switch with me, Seungkwan. That’s it.”

Seungkwan chuckles lowly, clearly having way too much fun with this. “Oh, okay. So you want me to switch with you just because you can’t handle the heat, huh?” He taps his chin, like he’s thinking about it, but it’s obvious he’s already decided.

“Fine,” you say, voice low but firm. “But only if you actually want me to send that video of you drunkenly crying about chickens to the entire friend group. You remember that one, right? The one where you were saying, ‘Those chickens are my babies, I love them so much’?”

Seungkwan’s eyes widen, and for a second, you swear you see a flicker of panic. You almost smile, but you hold it in. Gotcha.

“No,” he says, shaking his head like he’s trying to backpedal. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I absolutely would,” you reply smoothly, crossing your arms. You can feel the smug grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. “So, how about it? You switch with me, or I make everyone’s day a little more interesting?”

Seungkwan looks around the room, clearly considering his options. He’s not stupid enough to let that video go public. “Okay, okay, fine. You win, Y/N. But you owe me for this one, big time.”

You give him a sweet smile. “Deal.”

Seungkwan walks over to Vernon, throwing his hands up dramatically. “Vernon, buddy, looks like you’re stuck with me as your partner today.”

You barely suppress a laugh as Vernon’s head jerks up in surprise. “Wait, what? Really?”

You take that as your cue and grab your stuff, moving toward Chan’s station. You’re feeling lighter already, knowing the rest of this class won’t be nearly as awkward. Chan’s a great guy—easygoing, level-headed, and most importantly, not Vernon. 

You set your bag down on the counter and look over at Chan, who’s already elbow-deep in his notes, completely unaware of the chaos you just caused. “Hey, Chan,” you say, forcing a cheerful tone despite everything. “Looks like we’re partners now.”

He looks up with a bright smile, oblivious to the fact that he’s been dragged into your mess. “Oh, hey, Y/N! Sounds good to me.” He’s so sweet and always so positive, but… well, the thing is, Chan could not for the life of him keep track of chemical reactions if his life depended on it. This could be the worst decision you’ve made today.

You sit down, a little defeated, as you adjust your gloves and open the instructions. You’re partnered with Chan now, but nothing feels quite right. As sweet as he is, chemistry might as well be a foreign language to him. You glance back over at Vernon’s lab station, which, of course, is conveniently located just a few feet away. You can hear the familiar sound of Vernon and Seungkwan’s voices drifting toward you, but you’re so not ready to face them just yet.

You feel your chest tighten as you try to ignore it, but then Vernon speaks again. “I don’t bite, Y/N,” he teases, his voice cutting through the air like a soft command. It’s casual, playful even, but it does nothing to stop the heat that floods your face.

You swallow hard, praying the blush on your cheeks isn’t visible. This is not the moment. Not the perfect moment to have him distract you. Your pulse picks up at the sound of his voice again, and you can almost feel his gaze on you. You don’t look back, but you know he’s probably waiting for a response.

“Y/N?” Chan says softly, his voice pulling you out of your mental spiral. “Are you okay?”

You quickly look away, feeling that familiar heat creeping up your neck. “I’m fine,” you mutter to yourself. “I’m fine.”

Your stomach flips as an idea strikes you—fake sick. You’ve done it before, and it’s a perfect way to buy yourself some time away from Vernon, maybe even the entire day.

Just get through this, and then you can run away forever.

Your body starts to tremble slightly as you put a hand to your forehead, doing your best to sound miserable. “Ugh, I don’t feel so good...”

Chan immediately rushes to your side, concern flashing across his face, and you can hear Seungkwan's snort of disbelief. Vernon looks at you with a furrowed brow, clearly not buying it. But he’s too polite to say anything. “You sure? You look kinda green.”

That’s your cue. You make a dramatic move, leaning over the lab counter, your hands gripping it as if you're about to collapse. Your stomach gives another exaggerated roll as you close your eyes. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” you say in a voice that’s so over the top, it sounds like it came straight out of a soap opera.

You expect Vernon to panic, maybe grab your arm to steady you, but instead, he just stares at you, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Really?” he asks slowly, clearly unconvinced. "Or is it that you want to run away again?"

Oh my god. You freeze, horrified that Vernon might actually be onto you. You try to hide your terror behind your palm, rubbing your eyes like you’re just too tired to keep up the act. “No! No... I’m definitely sick,” you say with a cough for added effect.

But Vernon isn’t having it. He places his hands on his hips, shaking his head with a small chuckle. “You’re not even trying to hide it. Just admit you’re avoiding me. What’s the deal?”

You panic, fully aware that your ridiculous performance isn’t going to fool him for long. You grab your bag off the back of the chair with a look of pure desperation. “No, no! I just—uh, I need to go to the bathroom! I’ll be right back, promise!”

Before Chan can protest, you push past him, stumbling out of the lab with as much speed as your shaking legs can muster. You burst out into the hallway, nearly running into a group of students on their way to their next class. Too close. You force your breathing to steady as you walk briskly, acting like you haven’t just staged the most obvious escape ever.

You round the corner, ducking into the nearest restroom. You push open the door, locking it behind you, leaning against the cool tile wall as you try to gather yourself. What is wrong with you?

Your phone buzzes in your pocket. Seungkwan, of course.

Boo 🍊: i was joking when i said u should get the plague idiot

Boo 🍊: ur the worst actor i’ve ever seen

Y/N: i had to ok

Y/N: this is a nightmare.

Your phone buzzes again almost immediately. 

Boo 🍊: ur so obvious it’s kinda gross

Boo 🍊: chan’s gonna fail this lab for u. also. U NEED TO TALK TO VERNON AT SOME POINT

Y/N: not today!

It’s Friday night. One week since that confession. And honestly? All you want right now is a shot of shitty tequila, a cheap beer, and some damn good music to drown out the past seven days. You’re tired of thinking about it. You’re tired of pretending like last weekend never happened.

The second you and Seungkwan step through the door of Mingyu’s house, you're hit with a wave of noise. It’s too loud, the bass too heavy, but somehow, that’s exactly what you need. The house is packed, the kind of party that screams “let’s fuck up everything in the best way possible.” You spot Mingyu behind the kitchen counter, already wearing that signature smirk of his, mixing drinks for whoever’s brave enough to stand in line. But then—of course—your night has to take a turn.

Vernon.

He’s sprawled out on the couch, head bopping to some random SoundCloud rap, looking way too at ease in his flannel and backwards cap. Fucking perfect. You mentally groan. You’d hoped for at least a few hours of peace tonight, but apparently, that’s not in the cards.

Seungkwan nudges you, elbow digging into your side. “Well, well, well,” he says with that knowing grin. “Guess your worst nightmare is here.”

You shove him back, rolling your eyes. “Don’t make it worse.”

“Too late,” Seungkwan chirps. “Now, let’s get some tequila in your system.”

You head straight for the kitchen, not bothering with small talk. The music is too loud, the room too warm, and your head is already swimming with the thought of one thing: tequila. You pull the bottle off the shelf with the same speed as if it’s your lifeline, and without hesitation, you pour yourself a generous shot. No chaser. Just straight into your system.

Seungkwan eyes you carefully from the counter. “Careful,” he singsongs in your ear, his voice dripping with teasing. “That’s what got you into this mess in the first place.”

You shoot him a sideways glance, the corners of your lips twitching upward. “Shut up,” you mutter, then down the tequila like it’s water. The burn sears down your throat, and the warmth spreads through your chest almost immediately.

You reach for another shot when—just your fucking luck—Vernon walks into the kitchen. His eyes land on you instantly, like he knew exactly where to find you. You want to swallow him whole—no, just pretend he's not even here– but you know that’s not going to happen.

“Wow, look who’s getting to the good stuff early,” Vernon says, voice as smooth as ever. His gaze flicks down to your hand around the bottle, and then right back up to your face, and something in his eyes makes you want to melt into a puddle on the floor.

Seungkwan shoots you a sideways look, his smirk turning even more mischievous. With a dramatic sigh, he pushes himself off the counter, clearly done with this conversation already. “Alright, well, have fun with that,” he says in a sing-songy voice, clearly aware of how uncomfortable this is getting. Then, he makes his exit, blowing you a mocking kiss from the doorway before disappearing into the living room.

You roll your eyes at his back, shooting him a silent curse with your eyes, but the moment Vernon steps forward, all that annoyance evaporates into something else entirely. Your focus is back on him, and that damn smirk on his face.

“Didn’t know tequila was your thing,” Vernon says casually, leaning against the counter next to you. You move to pour another shot, but Vernon steps closer, cornering you against the counter with that infuriating smirk plastered on his face. The proximity is almost suffocating, and you feel your pulse spike in your neck, your heart pounding. You try not to make eye contact, your gaze fixed firmly on the bottle in your hand, as if it could somehow shield you from him.

Vernon’s smirk widens, and he leans in slightly. “Y’know, you need to look at me to make conversation,” he says, voice low and teasing.

Before you can even process what’s happening, his hand slides under your jaw, his fingers gently but firmly lifting your chin until you have no choice but to meet his eyes.

Your breath hitches in your throat, and for a second, you forget to breathe. His eyes are almost burning into you, and you can’t look away—not that you want to.

For a second, you forget about everything. Your entire focus narrows to the guy standing in front of you, the guy who’s been fucking with your head for over a week now. You try to focus, try to snap yourself out of it, but damn—he looks good. Too good. That stupid backwards cap, the flannel shirt that’s just loose enough, the way his jawline sharpens under the dim kitchen light. You swallow, trying to keep your cool, but fuck, he’s too close. Too damn close. You want to push him away, but the closeness has your body freezing, every nerve on edge.

It’s the same feeling you had last week. And it’s happening again.

Fuck. No. This is not how it’s supposed to go.

Your mind races, trying to think of something, anything, to get out of this. Then—like a miracle—Mingyu strolls by, not even realizing the chaos you’re trying to keep under control. You latch onto him like a lifeline.

“Mingyu! HI!” you shout, ducking under Vernon’s arm and making a beeline for him. You grip his arm with a little too much force, probably dragging him away from whatever conversation he was having with someone else. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, but you don’t even give him a chance to ask why you’re acting like a madman.

“Long time no see! Let’s catch up!” you practically drag him out of the kitchen before Vernon can say anything, and Mingyu shoots a glance over his shoulder at you. He looks confused, but soon the music envelops you, and he happily throws an arm around your shoulder and pulls you onto the dance floor.

The music is a blur of bass and off-key notes, but the tequila in your system helps dull everything, smooths out the jagged edges of your thoughts. Mingyu is practically yelling in your ear, his voice way too loud for the volume of the song, but you can’t help but laugh at his unrelenting enthusiasm. He’s screaming the lyrics to some cheesy pop song—something from five years ago that you can’t even remember the name of—but he’s grinning, and you can’t help but mirror his energy. For a moment, the heat of the room and the chaos of the party become distant, fading into the background, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you forget about Vernon. You forget about everything.

Mingyu pulls you into a ridiculous spin, and you laugh, the sound lost in the music. His arm tightens around your shoulders as he twirls you back into his chest, but just as you feel yourself getting lost in the rhythm, your phone buzzes in your pocket. It’s Seungkwan.

You swipe the screen without thinking, still caught in the whirl of the dance floor.

Boo 🍊:  he’s staring at you

Your heart drops.

You freeze mid-spin, suddenly feeling too warm, too exposed, like you’re still back in that kitchen, caught between the tequila, the tension, and the pull of Vernon’s eyes. The phone screen flickers in your hand, but you don’t even need to read the message again to know what it means. You know Seungkwan’s been watching the two of you dance around each other, and you know who he is. Vernon’s watching you. He’s staring.

You glance over your shoulder instinctively, and there—across the room, leaning against the doorframe—is Vernon. That tantalizing smirk is still in place, like it’s carved into his face. His eyes are on you, not even trying to hide it, and that stupid look on his face says everything. The way he watches you makes your skin tingle, and the realization hits you harder than the tequila burn in your stomach.

“Yo, you good?” Mingyu’s voice cuts through the noise, pulling you back to the present. You swallow hard, still trying to shake the feeling of Vernon’s gaze on you. You force a smile and nod, but all you can think about is the way Vernon is watching you.

“Mingyu,” you murmur, grabbing his wrist, “I think I need a drink. I’ll be right back.”

Before he can protest, you make a beeline for the kitchen again, your feet moving quicker than you can process. You need space. You need air. The heat of the dance floor still clings to your skin, but it’s nothing compared to the suffocating feeling that’s starting to build in your chest. The tequila's starting to wear off, but your nerves are still shot, and you can’t get rid of the image of Vernon leaning against the doorframe, eyes fixed on you like he’s just waiting for you to make a move.

The kitchen’s quieter, the music a distant hum, and you’re almost grateful for the space, the absence of people. You grab the tequila bottle again, not caring if anyone’s watching. You pour yourself another shot, but before you can even bring it to your lips, you hear footsteps approaching. You don’t need to look up to know who it is.

“I think we should talk,” Vernon’s voice sounds closer than you expect. You try not to flinch, but you can’t stop yourself from stiffening. You move to step away, but then his hand is on the counter next to you, trapping you in place. You don’t want to look at him, not after everything that’s happened.

“I’m serious,” he adds, tone shifting just slightly. There’s a quiet edge to his voice, a softness you’ve never heard before, but it only makes you hesitate more.

You finally raise your gaze, and for the first time tonight, you meet his eyes. His smirk is still there, but there’s something else too—something you can’t quite place.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” you say, your voice lower than you intended.

Vernon’s eyes flicker for a moment, a flash of something unreadable crossing his face, but the moment’s gone too quickly. He chuckles lightly, not mocking, but with a sense of finality.

“Fair enough.” He straightens up, taking a step back, giving you a little more space, but still standing there. “But just so you know…” His voice softens again, the teasing replaced with something a little too sincere for your comfort. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Fuck. That’s it. You can’t be here anymore.

You spin on your heel, heading straight for Seungkwan, who’s been knee-deep in a Mario Kart championship with Soonyoung and Seokmin. The game is so intense that Seungkwan barely notices you storming up to him, too busy yelling at the screen as he tries to secure his victory.

“Time to go,” you say, your voice sharp enough that even Seungkwan can’t ignore it.

He looks up from his game, a little confused. “What? We just GOT HERE!”

“TIME TO GO, SEUNGKWAN,” you hiss, a little louder this time, unable to mask the frustration that’s bubbling up in your chest.

Seungkwan groans, annoyed that his Mario Kart dominance is being interrupted, but he stands up anyway, muttering something about the injustice of it all.

But then, like a fucking curse, Vernon appears in front of you, stepping into your path just as you try to make your exit. His presence feels almost too heavy in the moment, his gaze unrelenting as his lips curl into that same familiar smirk.

“Leaving so early?” he asks, voice laced with amusement, and his eyes lock on yours, steady and impossible to ignore. It makes your stomach flip, and you feel that heat in your cheeks you can’t seem to get rid of.

You avoid his gaze, turning your face just enough to escape the intensity of it. “Oh yeah, early morning,” you mumble, desperate to get out of there. “Lots of stuff to do, classes and all…”

Vernon tilts his head slightly, his smirk widening as if he can see right through your bullshit. “Tomorrow’s Saturday,” he says, voice matter-of-fact, as if calling out your feeble excuse is somehow amusing to him.

Shit.

You try to force a smile through it, but it feels like it’s made of plastic, fake and thin. You avoid his gaze like it’s radioactive. “Yeah, uh… just, you know—okay, bye!” You nearly shove Seungkwan out the door before Vernon can say another word.

The second the door slams shut behind you, Seungkwan bursts out laughing, his voice loud in the quiet of the carpark.

“You’re such a mess,” he cackles, still trying to catch his breath. “Did you seriously try to pull the early morning classes excuse? Like, no one knows tomorrow’s Saturday?”

You shoot him a middle finger, too tired to even care. “Shut up, Seungkwan. Just drive.”

He laughs harder, but at least he doesn’t push it further. Seungkwan’s car engine roars to life, and as he drives off, the weight of the night slowly lifts from your shoulders. But in the back of your mind, you can still feel Vernon’s eyes on you, like they never really left.

Dinner a week later is nothing fancy—just some ramen you scrounged up after dragging yourself through another shit show of a week. The kitchen, warm and dimly lit by the overhead light, feels like a small refuge, and for a second, you’re fine with being here. The steam rising from your bowl swirls in the air, and you twirl the noodles absentmindedly, trying to ignore the weight of everything slowly settling over you.

Seungkwan’s sitting across from you, casually slurping his ramen, but there’s something in the way his eyes flicker up, a strange glint in them, that makes you pause. The silence stretches for a moment, the kind that feels like it’s waiting for something, and then, as if he can’t hold it in any longer, he drops the bomb.

“Vernon’s coming over later.”

You freeze, a piece of noodle hanging from your chopsticks, your eyes wide. “WHAT?” You nearly choke on the noodles, the shock making you forget to swallow. “Why the hell is he coming over? Are you—seriously?”

Seungkwan raises an eyebrow, lips curling into a grin that doesn’t match his feigned innocence. “Just to study,” he says, shrugging like it’s the most casual thing in the world. “Our lab midterm is in a couple of days, and we can’t figure out the damn ratios for the prelab.”

Your mind stutters, trying to catch up with what he’s saying. Vernon, your uncomfortably charming classmate, is coming here. Of course he is. “Seungkwan, you know I—” You stop, frustrated, searching for words that aren’t quite coming. This is your house, your space, and you’re already struggling with the thought of being alone with him. The awkward tension from the last few days suddenly feels so much heavier now.

Seungkwan, not missing a beat, looks over at you with a teasing grin. “Haven’t you run away enough? It’s been, like, almost two weeks.” He’s got that smirk on his face again, the one that says he knows exactly what he’s doing, pushing all the right buttons to get you riled up.

You glare at him, trying to muster some kind of defense, but your words come out quieter than you expect. “I’m not running away,” you snap, though it’s weak. It’s been two weeks of exactly that. “I’m just—busy. You know, college stuff.”

Seungkwan raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it, and you feel your resolve crumble under his knowing look. “Yeah, sure. College stuff. That’s totally why you’ve been dodging Vernon for the past week. Can’t blame you though—guy’s got a way of making things... uncomfortable.” He chuckles at his own joke, but there’s an edge of teasing that cuts too close to the truth.

You groan, rubbing your face in frustration. “Stop making this worse.”

“Hey, I’m just saying,” Seungkwan shrugs, his grin widening. “Haven’t you thought about actually talking to him? It’s not like you’ve got that much time before he shows up.”

“Don’t remind me,” you mutter, then, more to yourself, “I didn’t plan this. He didn’t plan this. This is... This is all just—” You stop yourself, shaking your head, your words trailing off.

Seungkwan chuckles again, but this time, it’s softer, almost like he’s giving you space to breathe. “Look, I’m just saying, maybe stop running away for once. You’ll figure it out.” He slaps you lightly on the back, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

But before you can even gather your thoughts, Seungkwan’s phone rings. He picks it up immediately, urgency lacing his voice, and you’re taken off guard.

“Seokmin?” He pauses, listening. “What? Is the fish… what? It can’t breathe??” He gasps, standing up quickly. “I’ll be right there, man, I swear! I’m coming now!”

He hangs up, looking at you, his face twisting into exaggerated concern. “Emergency. Seokmin’s fish is dying.”

You blink, disbelief painted on your face. “You’re fucking joking. You’re actually leaving me with Vernon? Alone?”

“Yup!” Seungkwan says, already halfway to the door. “You’re on your own, Y/N! Don’t burn the place down!” His laugh echoes as he bolts out, leaving you standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring after him in utter disbelief.

Great. Just great.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rings. Your stomach does a flip, nerves bubbling in your chest. You almost consider pretending you’re not home, hiding in your bedroom until Vernon leaves. But that’s childish, and you can’t avoid this forever. With a sigh, you pull yourself to the door and open it, finding Vernon standing there, looking annoyingly comfortable with that goddamn grin on his face.

“Hi,” he says, voice teasing but warm. “So, Seungkwan tells me we’re doing some studying?”

You step aside to let him in. The last thing you want is to be rude, but the silence that follows as you both walk to the kitchen feels suffocating. You can practically feel the tension hanging in the air, thick with all the things you’ve been avoiding. His presence lingers, like it’s always been there, and yet it’s different now.

Vernon leans against the counter casually, and you busy yourself with rearranging things on the counter, anything to avoid looking at him. You can feel his eyes on you, but you can’t make yourself meet them. Every time you think about what happened, your heart races, and the words you said to him feel like a blur. But they’re always there, hovering on the edge of your thoughts.

Finally, Vernon breaks the silence, his voice softer than before. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

You freeze. The air in the room seems to tighten, and his words land with the weight of a trap you didn’t see coming.

“What?” You try to laugh it off, but the sound comes out rough, more strained than you intended. “Pshhhh nooooo.”

“You have.” Vernon pushes off the counter, stepping closer to you. His movements are deliberate, but there’s a softness in them as he closes the space. His eyes remain locked on yours, steady and searching, like he’s waiting for you to crack, to finally admit something. You can’t look away, your breath shallow, the pulse at your neck pounding hard. “And you can’t even look me in the eye. Did I do something wrong?”

His voice is gentle, almost too gentle, and it makes your chest tighten. You shift uncomfortably, your arms folding across your body, a silent defense against the intensity of his gaze. The room feels smaller now, every inch of space filled with the heat between you. You feel trapped, your heart hammering in your chest, yet there's nowhere you'd rather be—and that's the problem.

“No, Vern, I just—” You stop, sucking in a breath, trying to steady yourself. “I said something I didn’t mean the other night.”

Vernon’s eyes narrow, a flicker of something in them—recognition, maybe? The way his lips part slightly, a mix of confusion and understanding. “You didn’t mean it?”

The words hit like a physical blow, and your stomach twists. You want to take them back, but instead, you find yourself retreating into yourself, avoiding his gaze. “I—what?”

“Did you mean it?” Vernon presses, and you swear you can feel his gaze like a weight on your skin. He’s not backing off, not letting this go.

You’re caught. You open your mouth, but no words come out, and the silence between you feels like it’s suffocating. You feel the heat rising to your face, your hands trembling by your sides.

“Mean what?” you finally manage, voice quieter than you’d like.

He steps even closer now, his body inches from yours, and his gaze doesn’t falter. His lips barely part as he speaks, the words lingering in the air between you. “Don’t play dumb with me, Y/N. You told me you loved me.”

The room spins, the ground beneath you feeling unsteady. You blink, your chest tightening as the memory of that night rushes back, sharp and overwhelming. Your hands move restlessly, clutching at the counter as if it’ll keep you from falling.

“But I was drunk—” You stumble over the words, desperate to explain, but his gaze doesn’t waver. His eyes are steady, unwavering, and you can’t escape them.

“Drunk words are sober thoughts,” Vernon says softly, his voice firm, but there’s no anger in it—only a certainty that rattles you.

“I just didn’t mean to put you on the spot—” You try again, but this time, he stops you, his tone more reassuring than you expect.

“You didn’t,” he says quietly, his hand reaching out, brushing a loose strand of hair from your face in a surprisingly tender gesture. “You didn’t put me on the spot.”

“Okay?” you ask, your voice uncertain. You can’t tell if you’ve just misunderstood everything or if this moment has shifted entirely. You blink at him, still trying to catch up.

Vernon smiles then, a soft, almost affectionate smile, and the air between you shifts. The tension eases just a little, but it’s still thick, like something’s hanging in the balance. “You don’t remember, do you?”

“No…” you whisper, the words coming out almost too quietly, but Vernon just laughs.

“I said I loved you too, idiot.”

You freeze. The words crash into your chest, and you feel the ground tilt beneath you again. This time, it’s harder to recover from. “You—you WHAT?”

Vernon chuckles, his grin widening, and this time, it’s teasing, almost mischievous. “Come on,” he says, stepping closer. His chest is almost brushing yours now. “I love you too. Can you stop running away now?”

“I WASN’T!” you protest, but the words fall flat, not convincing even yourself. Your body is tense, but his proximity makes your heart race in a way you don’t quite understand.

“You were,” Vernon says, his smirk softening just enough to catch you off guard. You feel your knees go weak at the way his gaze softens, like he’s pulling you into something you’re not sure you’re ready for. “But it was kinda cute, y’know?”

Before you can even think of a response, he's right there, too close—like, uncomfortably close. His presence feels like it’s swallowing up all the space between you, and suddenly, you’re backed up against the counter, like he’s somehow managed to get you cornered without even trying. It’s all too familiar, too much like that night at the party. You can’t help but stiffen, but it’s not bad, just... intense.

You can feel the heat radiating off him now, like it’s pulling you in, and the way he’s leaning in just enough that you can’t help but tilt your head to meet his eyes—your heart starts hammering in your chest. Too close. Way too close. Your body wants to take a step back, but you don’t, mostly because you’re pretty sure you’re not even sure where to go from here.

And he knows it. You can see it in the way he’s standing, like he's completely unbothered, like it’s no big deal that he’s got you backed up into a corner. Your shoulders feel tense, but your feet just stay planted where they are, like they’ve been glued to the floor. His gaze locks with yours, and you can feel that pull, that thing that makes it hard to breathe—like your chest is getting tight and you’re not sure if you want to run or stay.

There’s this low buzz in the air between you two, and you don’t know how much of it is him or how much is just your heart freaking out. His breath is right there, close enough that you’re aware of the way it catches every time you look at him. And you can’t even tell if you’re annoyed at how close he’s gotten or if your mind is too distracted by how nice it feels to have him this near.

You’re trapped, but you’re not sure if you mind it. It’s like your chest is about to burst from the tension, or maybe it’s going to stop completely. Either way, you're not entirely sure which one you're hoping for.

“No more running,” he murmurs, his voice low, steady, eyes never leaving yours. There’s no doubt in his tone, no hesitation, like he’s already made up his mind. The space between you two feels charged now, the air thick with the unspoken.

“No more running,” you echo, the words slipping out before you can stop them, and for the first time, they feel right. You’re not sure why, but you believe it.

And then, Vernon leans in, his lips brushing against yours.

The kiss is slow, soft at first, like he’s giving you space to catch up. His lips are warm and a little sweet, tasting faintly of mint from the gum he’s been chewing earlier. You inhale through your nose, catching the subtle scent of his cologne—fresh, with a hint of wood and citrus—that wraps around you like it’s always been there, like it’s familiar. Every part of him seems to make the world outside feel distant, unimportant. The tension, the uncertainty, the past few days—they don’t matter anymore. 

The pressure of his lips increases, more certain now, and the warmth of his mouth sends a flutter through you. You lean in, responding, your hand instinctively finding the chain around his neck, pulling him closer, as if you can’t quite get enough of him. It’s slow, deliberate, like he wants to savor it just as much as you do. For the first time in days, everything feels like it’s in its right place.

When he pulls back, it’s just enough to speak, his lips still lingering on yours. “Y’know,” he says with a playful grin, “We could’ve been doing this two weeks ago if you weren’t so emotionally constipated.”

You laugh, breathless, pulling him closer by his chain. The heat creeping up your neck is almost unbearable. “Shut up,” you protest, half-smiling. “You can’t blame a girl for what she says when she’s drunk.”

“I won’t,” he agrees with a smirk, kissing you again, this time a little more urgently. “But I can’t make any promises about Seungkwan.”

From the hallway, you hear Seungkwan’s unmistakable voice, a triumphant cheer echoing from the door.

[starstruckpurpledragon]

so I told my parents that I'd gotten some paint colors to test out to determine what my new color schemes are and...

and my dad just had to remind me of my somewhat joking goal of replacing my two shallow closets in my bedroom with a single walk in closet and...

I mean...

I'm gonna yank out the old carpet anyway, if ever I was going to do it the time would be now

I'm gonna have to measure everything and determine what the room would look like, but I do feel like the change in the master bedroom's footprint would be worth it. I'd be losing some space in one area and gaining back space in another and there's the question of the door - if I put it on the short side of the new closet vs the long side there's different trade offs. And then there's the electrical to consider - new lighting, moving and/or adding outlets...

my dad - an architect - thinks it would add value to have the walk in closet and generally he's right about this sort of thing, so that's something for me to keep in mind too

I suppose it all comes down to price and how much I'm willing to pay for this unexpected reno. But I did take the doors off my shallow closets because they made seeing what was in them more difficult. Being able to see what's in a walk in closet is a matter of... walking into the closet. But I'd still be able to shut the stuff in the closet away from sight in a way I can't anymore with the doors down...

I think I'm probably talking myself into the walk in closet already, to be honest. but there's a lot to decide before actually going forward with the idea so... I guess I've got a lot of measuring and taping the carpet and deciding which closet gets expanded into the walk in and which one becomes part of a small nook area of the room - a sitting nook maybe? since I use one of the spare bedrooms as my home office it wouldn't need to serve that purpose, though whenever I sell the house - years down the line - it could easily stage as one (resell is important, but what makes me happy and comfortable while I live here is definitely more important by far) though it could also be where I put my dresser.... or I could get new bookcases @_@ ... boooooks...

um...

anyway

can't take too long to decide, of course, but I've got time to figure out what I really want and how much effort I want to go through to get it

Estelle might have to go stay with my parents for a few once the reno work happens, regardless, which will upset her to be there when I'm not even if my parents do utterly spoil their grand-puppy while she's there (which they do every time, but she's a sweetie and snuggle fiend so I can't blame them)

[solbaby7]

I love your work, and I’ve been creeping on your master list and it’s so good 😭❤️❤️❤️… pls do one with Azriel and AFAB reader who finds out first that they’re true mates but says nothing at all, too scared that he’ll reject her cause he’s in love with Elain and she witnesses the whole necklace gifting/almost kiss between them and runs away, tries to avoid both of them for days and gets sick or injured or something and that’s when Az realizes it too and smut ensues 🫶😭❤️

Since You Have A Lover

pairing : azriel x afab!reader

warnings: angst babe, torture too (oops👀🤣), not proofread, swearing, probs typos, mild smut at the end, testing out the longer fics and then we’re gonna figure out if longer or shorter is better 🫣

thank you for the request bean! i switched it up a little to add some much needed angst but i’m so happy you’ve been enjoying 💗💗

oh and…educate a girl. wtf is afab?👀 respectfully ofc

—

Deep breaths and a lowered gaze is how you make it through family dinners as your stomach lurches uncomfortably.

The feeling never got easier, even after months of enduring the debilitating emotions that ensued from watching your mate love another.

It’s instinctual to be jealous—to compare yourself to Elain when Azriel refused to tear his eyes away. He was supposed to be your equal and yet the longer dinner went on with overhearing their hushed conversation and not-so-sneaky touches under the table; you felt anything but suitable in comparison.

Drowning those thoughts is surprisingly easy, a plethora of wine bottles are scattered about the table and not a single person bats an eye when you snatch one up for yourself. They’re too caught up in each other to realize you’ve slipped away; abandoning the suffocating love that permeated from every direction besides your own.

Fresh air helps a little, the stolen bottle of wine aiding in keeping you warm from the unforgiving nighttime chill. Eventually the cool bite doesn’t send shivers down your spine and you barely even flinch when bare skin meets cold stone, your gaze dipping down to lively town below.

Time moves too quickly as the observer, seconds bleeding into minutes until hours have passed and the bottle has nothing left to offer. There’s a brief moment where your foggy brain contemplates the effort it would take to retrieve another when your solitude is broken.

Two bodies burst through the balcony doors on the furthest side, mostly concealed by trees and flowers but you’d recognize those wings anywhere. A hand smacks over your mouth to conceal any sound, body freezing in place as you witness Azriel press Elain into the wall, his hands cradling the sides of her face lovingly.

A part of you shatters when you catch that sparkle in his eye, the eagerness in his movement to have her closer until her cheeks go flush and thick lashes flutter closed in preparation for the sweet kiss Azriel is sure to grant her.

You’re unable to stomach another moment and neither of them even flinch when you shuffle from your spot and make a bee-line for the exit. Tears cloud your vision, shoulders shaking and steps unsteady as you all but run through the halls, darting up the stairs and colliding right into another body. “Oh,” The startled sound is all but whimpered out of you and red eyes and splotchy cheeks are the first thing Nesta sees as you look up. “Gods, I’m sorry.” You scramble to your feet, retrieving the book she’d dropped in the collision. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching here I was going.”

“That’s not like you.”

A weak smile quirks at the corner of your mouth, unbound hair in unruly strands down your shoulders. “I’m not quite myself at the moment.”

Nesta hums in response, slender arms crossing over her chest and the fabrics of her nightgown shifts with the motion. Her gaze is scrutinizing, picking apart the truth from the lies and you’re infinitely grateful that she doesn’t call you out on your state of disarray. “Want me to walk you to your room?”

“No.” You whisper, hastily wiping your cheeks and attempting to smooth down stray hairs and wrinkled silks. “No, I think I’m going to go for a walk instead. I could use the fresh air.”

“It’s three in the morning.”

Nesta's neck cranes, slowly turning on the balls of her feet as you swiftly slip past her and make way for your chambers. Perhaps, it's the defeated slump of your shoulders that catches Lady Death's attention; that emptiness in your eyes that couldn't even be filled by the overflowing tears that stained your cheeks.

She considers waking Cassian--he always was better equipped to handle the emotions of others but you're already gone, disappearing behind the door without even saying goodnight. Something about the interaction forces her to linger, smutty book long forgotten as she waits to see you creep out that same room ten minutes later.

You're dressed to better accommodate the weather now. Thick leathers insulating body heat while subconsciously providing much needed compression--the tight fabric mimics comfort in its attempt to hold together the broken bits of you shoved inside.

Nesta's lips part, a million possible words resting at the tip of her tongue but you're quick to intercept, tone numb and alarmingly empty. "Don't wait up."

--

Being alone was supposed to be relaxing.

Distracting, at the very least.

But, all you could feel was the cool prickle of awareness at the back of your neck the whole time you sat at the edge of the mountains that overlooked the Sidra. Each time you'd slow your breathing and attempt to regulate the unusual beat of your heart with the captivating view of Velaris at night. While most were inside, the homes that resided there were full of life; lights glowing golden through their windows, laughs ebbing through the woodwork and creating a sense of serenity that refuses to wash over you as well.

Eyes narrow, shoulders squaring and fingers twitch for the sharp daggers strapped to your thighs. The thick trees you’d come through seems far less attractive now, branches craning out like grabbing hands with gaps of murky darkness that resembled giant mouths waiting to swallow you up. “Nesta?”

The chuckle that breaks through the clearing is anything but feminine. “Not quite.”

It happens too fast--the hand that smacks over your mouth to mute the startled scream that rips free. You push against the solid wall of a body stationed behind you, attempting to sway his stability in order to break free but a sharp sting in your neck renders you still.

The burn that follows is instant and before you can stop it, the unforgiving darkness becomes all you know.

--

The palpable tension at breakfast is suffocating.

Azriel's seething brood casts angsty shadows along his strong build, creating a visible wall between himself and his High Lord after the stern conversation he was forced into the night before. It runs on repeat in the shadow singers mind, the order given to back off on his affections towards the middle Archeron sister.

It seems cruel. A sick form of punishment that Azriel can't quite wrap his mind around because who was really in charge of the tragectory of his life? Azriel ? Or his High Lord?

The mere thought has his teeth grinding in silent contempt, his gaze flickering around the table before landing on the bare spot directly across from him. His brows furrow, confusion briefly sweeping away the rage as he considers the time--your usual schedule and the words leave his mouth before he can stop them. "Where is she?"

A brief pause, the casual conversation slowing to a halt until Azriel catches a glimpse of something on Nesta's face--a strain of guilt he'd seen a million times on a trillion different faces. "Left earlier this morning." Polished silverware scrapes at fine china, pushing aside food that her body refuses to indulge in. "Said she was going for a walk."

Discontentment settles into Azriel's bones--a feeling he struggles to understand and Nesta's answer only exasperates the unsteady sensation.

"In this weather?" Grey clouds are thick in the sky, shades of slate and granite completely masking the sun as relentless rains pour down from above. "When was this?"

"Around three."

Cassian swears lowly from beside his mate, a sturdy hand resting at her shoulders but the regret lacing his features speaks plenty about the decision to stay quiet for so long. It was too dangerous, especially after the last few meetings Rhys had with Kier in Hewn. Change took time and the Steward and his men were complaining about that change taking too long. Hateful words were thrown in the name of the people of Hewn City and how they had desires too; dreams of a better world for themselves and their children but the High Lord’s better judgement rose question to the other consequences that could arise from giving what they were asking for. "Ness that was nearly eight hours ago."

The screech of Azriel's chair draws attention, a sudden boost of fuel being injected in his veins. "Did she tell you where she was going exactly?"

Nesta’s tone turns into vitriol, a subconscious reaction to the guilt that gnawed at her bones for not seeking for you sooner after finding you in your state. The reminder of tears streaming down your face flashes behind her eyelids; the choppiness of your words through labored breathing. How desperately you’d attempted to wrangle it together just long enough to make it to your room and suddenly the eldest Archeron feels that familiar uselessness creep beneath her skin. “She didn’t leave me a map with a drawn out route—she just said she needed air.”

“While crying?” It wasn’t intentional, Rhysand seeing the flash of memory that Nesta had unknowingly projected; her mental walls caving for just a fraction of a minute before the iron doors had regained their formidable security. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Silverware clatters against the table, staining table linen in strawberry jam but no one seems to give a shit when the severity of the situation behinds to settle over the room. Nesta runs a hand against the material of her dress, smoothening out wrinkles and creases in order to avoid all of the eyes settling over her face. “I was just going to the library to read and we bumped into each other. She came from the balcony—I offered to walk her to her room but she just…” A sigh pulls free, jaw setting tightly. “I let her go.”

“Nesta.” Feyre’s slow shake of her head holds enough disappointment to have Nesta’s shoulders squaring on the defensive.

“I’m not some evil bitch, I waited up!” She seethes, the beginnings of those silver flames lapping at the steely grey of her eyes but the fight within isn’t truly directed towards Feyre or anyone else but herself. Because she’d felt the exact moment that you walked from the doors and winnowed away, that she’d made a grave mistake. Nesta’s shoulders sag, fingers bunching unforgivingly into the inky linen cloth until she felt the tips of her nails digging into the polished mahogany underneath. “I waited.”

Azriel’s already out of the room without a word.

He didn’t have a right to shame her because Azriel had a feeling he knew what sent you running.

His teeth grind together when thinking back to the night before when he and Elain had scuffled off onto the balcony at the witching hour; hoping their sins would be shielded by the dark cast of night. Too caught up in one another to consider another already occupying the space.

And, no matter how many times Azriel brushed his fingertips over the soft curve of Elain’s cheeks or vyed for a fleeting touch when passing in the hallways—the kiss he thought he wanted lacked the spark he was sure would flicker to life when lips grazed.

He’d pulled away so abruptly, brows furrowing in a stark line discontentment that was visible to anyone with eyes and then he heard the broken whimper of a gasp.

It’s been too easy to pass it off as Elain and far easier for him to forget about it altogether after Rhysand had found an embarrassed Elain rushing back to her room with flushed cheeks and an unsteady gait. He’d never heard his brother shout so loud, the veins in his neck protruding as he ordered Azriel to never even look her way again. That if a quick fuck in the dead of the night was what he desired then Azriel should wander along the cobblestone streets of Velaris and find himself a suitable pleasure house and pay for it.

The words act as fuel, Azriel’s senses working on overdrive; shadows scrying for information faster than ever before until they’d returned with something he could work with.

Dropped neatly in his palms were the cool steel of your twin blades that never left the secure holsters forever strapped to your thighs.

And they were soaked in your blood.

—

You recognized the suffocating dank smell that tended to fester when stuffed so far beneath the earth—the perfect dungeon.

One you’d been in countless times before, wearing that shadowy mask of indifference when masquerading as the soulless monster that became necessary to survive while in Hewn City. It took decades of assistance by Azriel’s side; an apprentice of sorts when the bounds of your affections had just begun testing its limits—wondering to see just how far you’d go just to be near him.

To get him to notice you. Your mate. Yours. Yours.

All of that seems so foolish now. Insignificant compared to the dire situation you’d found yourself entangled in.

Sharp twinges of pain throb up your neck, aches settling in from the uncomfortable position and it’s a strain when you shift in attempts to take in your surroundings. Fear lurches in your chest when your hands don’t move, restrained by chains that had you hung up like a prized hog after a fresh hunt.

Not good. Not good. Not good. So, not good.

“I always did love that look.” Immediately your spine goes ramrod straight, fingers clenching into fists over the cool bite of the chains as that voice washed over you like a bucket of water. Refreshing on your own terms and a horrible wake up call when it wasn’t. “When panic shifts into realization—truly a sight worth capturing. Especially when attached to such a delicate disposition.”

Delicate?

You’d never once used that word in ordinance to yourself.

Hearing it now, under such circumstances makes your heart lurch, it’s beat untamed against your ribcage and it takes every bit of strength left to smooth that look of utter calm across your features. “Come a little closer, let me show you how sweet I can get.”

The underlying threat is easily palpable and Kier is wise not to follow the bait; aware of the wounded animals ability to put up a considerable fight and he’s too coward to brawl fairly. “As tempting as that is, it won’t be me who plays with you tonight.” Your teeth bare into a snarl, pure promise rumbling from your chest and the sound encourages a chuckle from the male.

He’s not close enough to injure; to swing the brunt of your weight around for a well-timed kick that you knew would disable long enough to figure a way out of these damn restraints. But even with the distance between you, the resemblance between this male and Mor was striking. She’d inherited the shape of his lips, even if the words she spoke were far sweeter than the shit spewed from her predecessor. More similarities are spotted during your scrutinizing evaluation of him; the line of his nose, the shade of his hair, the confident air that oozed from his form—no matter how misplaced it was.

“I’ll kill anyone who dares lay a finger on me.”

“So much fight in you,” Kier all but croons, his eyes raking across your body in a way that was less than savory. “I can’t wait to see how long it lasts.”

Breathe.

Years of training beside the spymaster had prepared you for this very moment and it’s easier to drift back into the memory of just another session; before things had gotten so complicated and he’d just been a friend eager to teach if you were willing to learn. Countless times you’d been in a similar situation—you, waking up tied up to some chair with ropes securing every possible joint in place and Azriel would leave you there as long as it took for you to figure your way out of it.

Allow the thrum of your heart be the beat that keeps you focused.

Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

Relax and take in your surroundings. Notice things no one else thinks is important because that could be the one thing that keeps you from an untimely death.

The cell wasn’t very large, four stone walls covered in grime and mildew with just enough space for two grown men to fit semi-comfortably. No windows. One door with a thin slot at the top large enough for two eyes to peer inside. No fire. No light. No warmth. No breeze, just stale, dank air that tasted of iron when your breathed in too deep.

Just stay alive long enough to get help.

“What do you want from me?”

Kier inhales a greedy breath, his chest expanding in the ornate armor worn. It glistens even with no light—proving that even with his privileged title, he was never the one who got his hands dirty. “Many things,” He finally confessed, the words airy and nonchalant. He’s too cocky. Too comfortable. “But first, I want you to tell me about the Cursebreakers sisters.” He dares a step closer, arms crossed casually behind his back as a dark look begins to worm its way into his eye. “I want you to tell me everything you know about the Made ones and the power they stole from the Cauldron.”

Breathe. Focus on your heart beat. Stay alive.

Breathe. Focus on your heart beat. Stay alive.

Breathe. Focus on your heart beat. Stay alive.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A smile works its way across his face—one so familiar it taints good memories with its stain. “I hoped you’d say that.” Kier walks past, the smell of his cologne burning your nostrils and you couldn’t imagine ever smelling tobacco and ash, bergamot and oakmoss without gagging ever again.

One knock on the thick steel door and slender male with hair like soot and eyes like a raven enters.

Your face remains a blank slate. Even as you take in the rubber material of his apron and the sturdy material of his leather boots. Well used gloves cover his hands and tucked under his left arm is a rawhide holder filled to the brim with all kinds of terrifying treats.

Breathe. Focus on your heart beat. Stay alive.

“Who are you?”

He takes his sweet time answering. Making a show of neatly setting down the holder and undoing the braided leather straps holding it in place. “You can call me the Butcher—everyone else does.”

“How original.” A thick swallow to quell the nerves; to shove away the shake that threatened to disturb your carefully curated cadence. The chains rattle as you shift, the tips of your toes just barely skimming the cool ground beneath you but not quite enough to relieve your wrists of the burden of bearing the entirety of your weight. “Well, Butcher—come make yourself useful and loosen my chains, will you? It’s starting to chafe a bit.”

His head shakes in his denial, barely acknowledging the departing Steward and the heavy thud of the shutting door—a lock sliding into place. “You don’t really want me to do that.” For donning such a threatening title, the Butcher is deceivingly soft-spoken. It sends your nerves into a fritz, triggering your fight or flight and for the first time since your eyes had opened and the darkness had waned; that delicately woven web of control slips from your grasp. “If you’re as stubborn as I think you are,” The sharp ring of metal twangs through the air and in his grasp is a perfectly polished knife a little too curved to be considered a scalpel. “You’ll need something to hold onto. It helps with the pain…for a time.”

Breathe.

“Then let’s just get this over with, shall we?”

Butcher chuckles low under his breath, full lips concealed by an ever fuller beard—the only thing about him that wasn’t perfectly trim and proper. “Not a fan of foreplay?”

Fingers curl around the cool bite of thick chains, your chest rising and falling in a steady pattern as you began to dissociate. An attempt to keep your mind as protected as possible from whatever was to come. “I’m more of a rip-the-bandaid kind of girl.”

Death clings to the pristinely polished rubber of his apron, the creak of his gloves filling the space as worn fingers ready around the hilt of his weapon. “You know,” Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. Disappear off into that numb place deep, deep within your mind. Ignore the bite of the blade poking around already sensitive wounds. “Under entirely different circumstances, I think I might’ve actually liked you.”

The switch flips so fast—too fast for you to catch but it’s impossible to miss the devastating burn that ripples through you as flesh is severed, muscle flayed and so, so much blood spilled.

It’s hard to keep track of how much time passes down here without access to windows and you’re certain that it’s intentional, aiding in the psychological aspect of their torture.

Relax and take in your surroundings. Notice things no one else thinks is important because that could be the one thing that keeps you from an untimely death.

The masculine baritone of Azriel’s teachings repeated like a mantra in your mind until it becomes the only thing distracting you from the sound of your flesh tearing, your blood drip, drip, dripping a misshapen puddle beneath you.

You force yourself to keep conscious, mentally noting anything your eyes are able to latch onto. Insignificant things; ebony hair, umber skin, a brand burned into the middle of Butcher’s left wrist in a symbol half-obscured by his gloves.

There’s a block on your powers, not quite faebane in its most lethal dose but paired with the wards humming against the walls, you knew using magic wouldn’t be an option for you. “Tell me about the Made ones and I can stop.”

“I don’t know anything.”

Just stay alive long enough to get help.

“You live there with them,” Butcher goads, crooked teeth exposed when gritted into that grimace of a sneer. Leather creaks under the playful twist of his wrist, the sharpened blade carving at muscle and obliterating sinew until you swear it reaches bone. “You share drink and food, you fight beside them in battle and you expect us to believe that secrets aren’t shared as well?” Every breath is ragged, a sheen of sweat coating your skin and unruly hair sticks to the curve of your neck. “Tell me what you know before I decide to get a little more creative in my methods.”

“Even if I did know anything, why the hell would I tell you? What would Hewn scum do with such knowledge?”

Your words have nicked a nerve, robbing the Butcher of that soft-spoken charm and replacing it with something more sinister. “You say the same thing to that bastard Illyrian you’re always seen around?”

A brow quirks, furrowing ever so slightly as it became more and more apparent that this was more than some spur of the moment kidnapping. Their questions, the desire to keep you immobile and battered but not enough to render you unconscious—not enough to be fatal. For whatever reason, they needed you alive and judging by the desperation that claws its way to the edges of Butchers voice, his curses and demands falling on deaf ears as your mind runs on overdrive to accumulate all the information you could before it was too late.

Each breath grows more labored, lashes fluttery and thick with exhaustion but just when it feel like too much—when you feel like giving up and succumbing to the sweet oblivion.

The rake of talons brushes against your mental walls. A cautious prod, testing your durability and utter relief washes over you when that feline lilt floods your consciousness. “We’re coming, just stay awake.”

The syllables barely reach your ears, sound faded by the obnoxious ringing that refused to subside—a side affect from all the fucking screaming and shouting. Swears slurring together the longer you snapped at the male before you, knees jerking and wounds barking in agony when the heel of your foot smashes so hard into his nose, his skull caves in; limp body dropping to the floor with a thud.

It’s all the strength you have in you and the death-grip you have around the chains is released all at once. Time moves in slow motion as you dangle there, vision darkening at the edges and that thrum of your heartbeat loud enough to distract you anymore. “Rhys they want— they want…”

So much blood oozes from your wounds, drenching your leathers all the way through and you were definitely feeling the affects. Your vision blurs, lids going lazy with just enough time to hear that voice—Azriel’s voice bellowing your name. “Stay alive.” He mutters over and over and over when he’s finally reached you, adrenaline pumping so high that he breaks the chains from their bolt with nothing more than his bare hands. “Do you hear me? Don’t you dare fucking die on me.”

You swear you try to obey the command, desiring nothing more than to keep Azriel's attention after finally being front and center in it. But it just felt so safe held in his grasp, tucked so close to his chest while he rids you of your restraints and applies pressure to gaping wounds.

All you wanted was one second. If you closed your eyes just for a second to gather your wits then you'd wake up and everything would be okay.

It sounds like a good idea-- so good that you allow the peace to wash over you like a cool tide washing over the shore in the early days of the burning summer; ignoring the desperate shouts from a vignette of voices that fades in the background like the haunting final notes of a song.

—

Confusion crashes at you in unforgiving waves, memories --or were they dreams?-- flash behind your lids with each blink. A dull throb pounds behind your lids, aggravating your mental shields to the point where you feel them wobble with each breath.

"You should stay still." Azriel's saying without giving you time to clear through the dense fog plaguing your mind. Instead, he busies his hands with fussing over your blankets, carefully tucking bare toes and pressing a five finger grip on your sternum when you attempt to rise from the soft cushion of a mattress that certainly did not belong to you. "It took Madja a while to get you all stitched up. Are you in pain? She left ointments and a few tinctures."

He's graceful enough not to mention the owlish blink of your eyes and their befuddled examination of his room until the crackly rasp of your voice cuts through the space; both of you refusing to address the elephant in the room. "My head hurts a little."

"Yeah," Shadows fuss with warm rags, sweeping it over your forehead and dabbing it along your cheeks while others occupy themselves with filling a glass of water to offer. "Rhys will be by later to apologize for that, I'm sure."

Your brows furrow deeply, nose scrunching when you sip your water. "Apologize for what?"

"You were in distress. We thought you were going to--" Azriel abruptly cuts himself off, fingers curling into fists at his sides. "Rhys went in your mind, said that before you'd gone unconscious that you were trying to tell him something that seemed urgent enough to bypass the usual request to wait for permission."

Your heart begins to pick up speed in your chest and suddenly the desire to rise from this bed and run away was becoming horribly intense. Legs shift under the weight of a duvet that didn't belong to you, attempting to hide the way your sore muscles sink into the overwhelming scent of night-chilled mist. "Okay...and what did he see?"

"He saw you get taken," Azriel turns his back to you, expertly avoiding your eyes but the nervous energy buzzing off his skin was unmistakable. "He watched them carve you up and torture you for information about Nesta and Elain." The stabilizing breath he takes shakes his shoulders, the strong line of muscle barely concealed by the tight stretch of his leathers--leathers still stained in the blood of those who'd spilled yours, no doubt. "Rhys said that you didn't say a word. You didn't give them a thing."

"That's good, right?" A pillow is fluffed behind you, shadows doting on every need. "Then, why do you sound so upset?"

"Why do I sound so upset?" Azriel cruelly mocks, his aurate gaze positively smoldering with rage when they land on you. "Because, you almost died! You almost died in my fucking arms before I ever got the chance to—. What the hell were you thinking?"

The beating you'd endured does nothing to quell your fiery spirit, eyes lighting with life and lips running a mile a minute—too fast for your logical brain to keep up with. "I was thinking that they wanted information on your precious, little girlfriend." You all but spit out, childishly pushing away the comfort the duvet from your legs as you attempt to shuffle from Azriel's bed without disturbing the tight wrap of your bandages. Why the hell were you in here anyway? "I was thinking that maybe, it'd be easier for them to fucking butcher me rather than watch what would happen to you if it were Elain there in my place."

Silence stretches along the hardwood floor, cloaking up the length of the walls and muting out the low crackle of the fireplace; its flame gentle and calm in the midst of an emotional storm. "I almost wish you would've let it be her." Azriel fills the void, finally mustering up the courage to face you. "I could've survived that and whatever consequences came along with it because my mate takes precedence above all."

Just like that, all the spitfire you’d prepared in retaliation absolutely dissipates after hearing those two words. “Your mate.”

Azriel doesn’t confirm with words. Instead, he searches inside for the humming gold thread wrapped taut around his ribs, just above his heart and pulls. Fucking yanking at it with all his might and something sparkles in his eye when your body jerks in retaliation.

“You know?”

“How long have you known?”

Your heartbeat hammers against your ribcage, threatening to carve out a hole if that’s what it took to get to its other half. “A while.”

“And you’ve said nothing.” He says, tone sounding almost defeated. “Why wouldn’t you have said anything?”

“Because, Az,” The shadows have seized their tireless caretaking, sliding back into place beside their master as you lose the ability to accept the tender affection. “You wouldn’t have chosen me. Not before Mor and certainly not before Elain.” You’re quick to bristle over that part, not leaving any room for the spymaster to interrupt no matter how expressive his face became. “Besides, the bond is a choice not a burden and that’s what it would’ve been for you if I spoke up about it.” Pure determination is what allows you to bear the brunt of your weight , willing yourself to appear strong in the face of the male who could render you to cinders if he so pleased. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d really like to shower the dungeon smell off of me.”

A childish whine of a noise is ripped from your throat when Azriel huffs out a breath, murmuring something about you being stubborn as hell before carefully picking you up and carrying you to the bathroom. It's embarrassing, a furious blush burning at the apples of your cheeks as he starts the shower, adjusts the temperature and slowly sets you down. "Thank you for that but you don't have to do this. I can handle cleaning myself."

"You can barely stand on solid ground on your own."

"I'll manage."

"I know. What I'm saying is that you don't have to." You nearly faint on the spot when Azriel crouches down in front of you, his hands shaky but sure when unlatching the difficult ties of your fighting leathers. His teeth grit together when the fabric is loosened and carefully worked down your thighs, over your knees and tugged away from your ankles. "Just let me help."

Azriel is nothing short of respectful, you notice. He doesn't sneak salacious peeks at the endless expanse of bare skin that he exposes. Doesn't once mention the tremble of your breath or the way your fingers seem to bite into the flesh of his arms whenever a new article of clothing is removed and dropped to the floor. Even after he's eased you into the shower stream; standing before him, perfectly presented on a soaking wet platter—he keeps his eyes trained on your face.

Shadows thicken over sensual bits, providing a shield between you and the male diligently applying soap to rag. Each drag of the slightly rough material against your skin releases a tension you hadn’t noticed you’d been carrying and all you can do is watch as he rids your skin of the thick film left behind when magic was used to clear away muck.

Eons must past before words are spoken, a this time Azriel is more intentional when he chooses them--more intimate when he relays them. "I'd always hoped for a mate. Ever since I was a boy and my mother told me stories about two halves scouring the world to finally become whole again." You're malleable under his care, pliant when he lifts your arms to scrub underneath and damn-near boneless when he turns you with slippery hands to slowly work the knots from your back. "I had always hoped that one day, I too, would find my equal." Azriel clears his throat, returning back from whatever memory he'd been sucked into but the massage doesn't stop; it only drags lower. "Then so much time had passed and I started to wonder if I couldn't find them because I wasn't being forward enough but that only lead to misplaced affections and unfulfillment."

"Azriel, I'm not sure if I really understand--"

"I felt something for you—something stronger than friendship but I pushed it away. I ignored it and looked elsewhere because I can bare not being as close with Mor and it’s as easy as breathing to never see Elain again but losing you—ruining the peace I feel when I’m with you would’ve broken me.”

Tears well in your eyes, a thickness welling in the back of your throat and your skin burns where his fingers touch, lingering near the dip of your back and just barely curling around the curve of your hips. “Az, you don’t have to say any of this to make me feel better. I just wanted you to be happy. I want you to be happy.”

“Then, please don’t reject it.” His warmth ripples over every inch of you, your neck craning to make room for the forehead he helplessly drops in the crux of your shoulder. The perfect line of his nose drags along the curve of it, inhaling the soothing notes of your scent mixed with his body wash. “Don’t reject me—this is all I’ve ever wanted.” Finally his fingers curl around your hips, the grip gentle but oh, so claiming. “Can’t you feel it? This rightness.”

Raw emotion swims in the amber tones of Azriel’s eyes when you turn in his arms; searching within those rich shades to find any detection of a lie.

Not one reaches your radar.

The line of your vision drops, creeping down his nose until it fixates on the plush pink of his lips. Instinct takes over, offering a gentle nudge until the space between two is eaten up and breath becomes shared as a line was about to be crossed—a prophecy fulfilled.

When Azriel’s lips finally brush against yours, it’s like a coil snaps, unleashing an animal he hadn’t known existed. Sure, he had plenty of experience with childish crushes and boyish infatuation. But this, Cauldron, it nearly takes his breath away with its intensity—the burning desire that rips through his veins like a forrest fire.

One kiss bleeds into two hands desperate to acquaint themselves with your body until all that mattered was you, your spymaster and the sentient shadows protectively surrounding you both. “Azriel,” You all but keen in his ear, chest heaving and hips rolling into the hardness of him pressed against you.

“Mate.”

A whimper cuts through your throat, neck craning to make space for the perfect bruises he was sucking into the skin there. “I want you.”

“You have me,” He promises over the frantic beat of your heart, tongue laving over the soft fat of your breasts. “Even when my bones are rotting in the dirt, I’ll belong to you. My mate. Mine.”

[jaewritesfic]

Everlasting Trio DP x DC Nobody Knows AU Part 7

Part 6

The door Sam knocks on is in a much nicer building than she expected.

She and Tucker are visiting Danny for dinner - and boy did they both nearly burst with excitement when he shyly extended the invitation - and frankly Sam had expected an apartment building in the Narrows or Park Row.

Danny was a teenage runaway less than a decade ago, for God's sake. Forgive her and Tucker for assuming he'd still be getting his feet under him and scraping by.

This? This is not that.

Sam has half a mind to think Danny is sugaring. He certainly wouldn't have any trouble - the Danny that disappeared from Amity was cute, but small and awkward in that teenage way. The grown up Danny they've been reconnecting with? He's tall, lean and positively gorgeous.

She wouldn't have a problem with that, per say. But the Danny they knew was also too nice for his own good and starved for positive attention. If someone was taking advantage of that Sam would kill them. 

Separation did not quell her instinct to wrap Danny up and protect him from the world, it would seem.

There's a slight commotion after the knock before Danny himself is yanking the door open with a grin that's happy and nervous at the same time.

“Guys! Hey! Come in!”

He ushers them inside with all the energy of an overgrown puppy, something that hasn't changed one bit since they were kids.

Sam shivers a little as they enter, assuming there's an AC unit blowing over the entryway at first. She smiles at Danny's back as he babbles at them.

“I kind of lost track of time, so food isn't actually ready yet, but then I thought - hey! Who cares! We can cook together and it'll be fun! I got all vegan stuff too so we can make a meaty pizza for Tuck and a different one for you, Sam-”

The apartment they walk into is a spacious open floor plan, furniture in blacks and grays. She shivers again. Seriously-

“Your AC on the fritz or something?” Tucker asks, rubbing his arms a little. “It's like fifty degrees in here, man.”

Danny freezes for a second on his way to the kitchen space before turning around and beelining for a wall - the thermostat.

“Shit, sorry! Sit, sit! I knew I was forgetting something,” he grumbles as he flaps a hand towards the black bar stools at the kitchen island and fiddles with the thermostat. “I like the cold, I always have it too low for most people in here. Sorry about that, it'll get better soon.”

Sam and Tucker exchange bewildered looks as they sit at the kitchen island. There's liking it cool, and there's fucking freezing.

“Guess I don't have to ask your favorite season,” Tucker jokes, and Danny offers him an apologetic grin as he lopes back over.

“Yeah, probably a safe guess,” he chuckles on his way to the fridge. “You guys want drinks? I have a homemade sangria if you want. Beer, wine, you name it.”

Tucker opts for a beer. Sam asks for the homemade sangria, curious. Danny pours two glasses and takes an ice cube tray out to pop a couple of ice cubes in.

When the glass is set in front of her - “they're the stemless kind you can't knock over. Cool, right? Look at ‘em wobble, they're just little guys.” - she raises an eyebrow.

The ice cubes are in the shape of little ghosts. Tucker snorts when he sees them, taking the bottle opener Danny offers for his beer.

“Ghosts? Really?”

Danny blinks like he'd forgotten he had a novelty ice cube tray, then grins and shrugs.

“I mean. What else is being from Amity good for if not inside jokes?”

He turns away before she can respond with any form of bewilderment - Danny had been known for disappearing during ghost fights, after all. He was terrified of them. She hadn't expected him to want any reminders of ghosts or his ghost hunter parents.

Sorry - Jack and Maddie.

With two resounding thunks, Danny slaps store bought dough onto his nice dark counters. He at least remembered to leave them out to rise. 

“Alright! While I roll this out, it's time to pick your toppings lady and gent - go wild, go ham. Let me show you my selection.”

He opens the fridge again, pulling out meats and veggies and cheeses abound. Sam notes vegan cheese alternatives in the mix with a warm fondness in her chest. She's stricter about being vegetarian than vegan, but the fact that Danny went that extra little mile? 

Yeah. Yeah, this is still her boy. She missed having two of them. She and Tuck were never meant to be without a Danny, and she can see on Tucker's face that he feels the same way.

Smiling and standing to start looking through the options, Sam sips her sangria. 

It’s delicious, and the little ghost ice cubes smile back up at her like they're as glad as she is to be here.

Masterpost

[lowkeyremi]

Choso who went into battle not knowing if he'd ever see you again. You knew this as well as he did, but he didn't want you to worry so he tried to comfort your mind.

"When I get back you gotta make me one of those cakes with the strawberries in it. I'll be thinking about it the whole time." He's hugging you, your head resting on his chest, tears from your leaky eyes stain his shirt.

"Don't go." Is all you can say. For some reason your heart is telling you that this is the last time you'll ever see your husband. This isn't just an assumption either, it's a very, very strong feeling inside of you.

"Baby. You know I have to.." His cold hands rub up and down your back, the coldness reminds of you of death.

"But.. what if this is our last time together?" He freezes completely, even his breath stops for a few seconds.

"I promise you, honey, this will not be our last time together." Choso leans down to meet your lips in a kiss, this kiss held so much slow, raw emotion. His hands caressed the back of your head and you felt more tears roll down your face.

"Choso! We gotta get goin'!" Yuki says tapping her foot impatiently. You have nothing against Yuki, but at that moment so much hate builds up inside of you- she's trying to take him away from you. She's trying to bring him closer to death.

"Choso please..." It's desperate and whiny, your voice cracks upon the last syllable. He gives you one last tight squeeze before muttering a, "I'll see you later baby."

The worst part about the departure is he doesn't look back, but you don't blame him. If he had looked back at your weepy eyes, he probably would have stayed instead of fighting for Japan.

Over the months of his absence you grow bitter, hateful, and quiet. Rarely do you talk anymore so when you hear your own voice it sounds foreign. Even your closest friends can't bring you out of the house without you bursting into tears, because the same door you walk out of is the same door he left out of.

"[name] you have to get out of here, you're going to spiral sooner or later," Your best friend mutters for the nth time.

"I'M NOT LEAVING! THIS IS ALL I HAVE LEFT!" You scream out. Regret instantly washes over you. "I'm-"

"I know you're hurting, don't worry about it." They say in a calming manner.

"I just- it's been two weeks since he's called me. Two. Weeks." Your best friend joins you on your couch, the same couch you and your husband have had many movie nights on.

"I know you're worried, [name]. About him, about your future, about everything... and I'm not going to tell you to be optimistic about the whole thing because it's 50/50 but I do want you to stay strong. It's what your husband would want, right?" They're right, if Choso were here he would tell you to push through and stay strong like you always do.

"Okay- fuck- alright. I'll go put some different clothes, let's get out of here. I haven't left in a long time."

The call came a month later. It was Yaga, he didn't sugar coat it, not that you wanted him to anyway.

"I'm sorry for your loss." It hurts when you hear those words being said to you over the phone. Your ears get a fuzzy feeling your vision blurs, and you start to hyperventilate.

"[name]? [name] are you there?" Everything went dark after that.

Trying to cope was the worst part of it all. Yaga had called you a couple of weeks later saying his body was so mutilated that they couldn't bring it back to bury him properly.

Now, you truly have nothing left, well, technically you have all the things he's given to you over the years, but you don't have him.

You went to therapy, you went to stay with your family, none of it worked. All you could think about was the last time he held you, his body was warm but his hands were cold to the touch.

As much as it hurts, your therapist has suggested moving out of your house because your pain is still raw and being in the house will bring up painful memories. Of course you refuse, why is everyone trying to take away what you have left of your husband?

In your bed was a picture of Choso, one you'd always keep with you when you missed him horribly. As you lie down for the night, you hug the picture tightly while tears silently fall from your eyes. At this point you don't even make sound anymore when you cry, it's just tears.

Ultimately, Yuji was the one to help you start your healing process. When everything had faded he came back, in rough shape might you add, but at least he was back. Instead of going to see all his friends when he returns, he goes to see you.

When he knocks on your door you assume it's your friends or a family member coming to get you out of the house. Seeing Yuji at your front door was very unexpected on your part. Before you can even get a sentence out he's squeezing you in a bone crushing hug.

"Choso told me to give you a hug for him. It was the last thing he asked for." His softly spoken words meet your ears. Almost immediately you squeezed Yuji tighter, "Thank you ,Yuji..."

"I know that you've known him longer than I have but.." he pauses, "his death hurt me just as much, and shit- I'm not gonna lie and say everything will be okay or everything will go back to normal, but I will say that he wants us to continue on even when it's rough."

Yuji's words sink into your brain and your first thought is selfish 'he wouldn't want me to keep going without him'. After a few seconds of rethinking you agree with Yuji, Choso was a fighter and he pressed on for what he believed, and yes, he would want you and his brother to do the same.

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

In another life

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Summary: Reader is transported to another dimension where nobody knows her.

Warnings: Language, mentions of blood and minor injury.

Hope you guys enjoy, I actually found this deep in my drafts and said what the hell and posted.

Next Part

It was just another typical day where Gojo and his students were walking to the destination of their next mission.

"Why do curses have to cause trouble on hot days, ugh what a pain" Nobara groaned shielding her eyes from the scorching sun.

"I told you to bring a hat" Yuji pointed out, somehow unbothered by the tortuous weather.

"But hats are so tacky!"

"Then don't complain" Megumi sighed annoyed as usual.

"Don't worry, we can get some nice cold ice cream after we exorcise the curse, in fact I know the best spot! It's a little hole in the wall place but they have the best- huh?"

Gojo suddenly whipped around at the sudden burst of curse energy he sensed.

"What the hell is that?!" Yuji shouted as he stared at a hole crackling in the sky getting bigger and bigger.

"Not sure, but I don't like what I'm sensing. Everyone be ready..”

"Right" they all tensed and got into attack positions.

What they didn't except though was to see a head pop out of the warp, followed by a body. A woman seemingly limp, began to plummet from the warp. Which promptly closed the second she had left.

"What the hell?" Nobara squinted trying to figure out if the figure looked dangerous.

Gojo didn't feel any malicious energy anymore now that the warp had vanished so he sprung into action and caught the woman before she became a pile of mush on the ground.

"Sensei what if shes dangerous?" Yuji frowned.

"Hm" he kneeled down still holding the woman. He eyed down her figure. She had some scratches and a few bruises but other than that she seemed ok...

So what was a human doing falling through a warp in the sky.

"I don't believe shes a threat, not that I can sense anyway..."

"The energy from that warp felt seriously freaky" Nobara shivered.

Gojo was about to respond when a glint made him freeze. His brows furrowed when he grabbed the girls hand and brought it closer to his face. Now that was definitely peculiar…

"Mm" the group suddenly all jerked to the form now rousing in Gojos arms.

The womans eyes began to open slowly. It took them a moment to adjust to the light but then when they were fully open they suddenly became full of life.

"Eh?! What happened??" Her eyes widened as she looked around, becoming aware of her surroundings. "T-toru!!" No one was more shocked than Gojo as the woman launched her arms around their teacher as if her life depended on it.

"Are you alright? He didn't hurt you did he? Ah Of course he didn’t what am I saying…?! I-I'm sorry you had to come save me again, I don't know how he even snuck up on me!" the woman pulled back only a bit to face him, but still held on. "I promise you can train me as hard as you want from now on and I won't complain anymore"

(From now on you are the woman)

You paused noticing his bewildered expression. "What Is it Toru?"

"Um… not to sound rude or anything but….who are you?”

Your face twitched in shock, "Um Toru, now really isn't the time for jokes you know" you pouted slightly.

It was when he took your arms off of him that you felt something was majorly off.

"I assure you I'm not joking" he gently pushed you off and you shakily got to your feet and so did he.

"I don't...I don't understand...Toru, what do you mean you don't know me?" You tried to quell the panic that was rising. Surely he was just playing a prank right?? Right?!?

"You know who I am it seems…" he stated, eying you curiously.

"Know who you- Satoru Gojo if this is a joke you better stop it right now or I swear I'm going to eat all the kikifuku you brought back yesterday! It's not nice to confuse me after being so close to death you know!!"

He only quirked a brow at this, "Listen lady, you just fell from a hole in the sky, If anyones confused its us..."

This caught your attention, "Wait…What did you say?"

"He's right, you fell from this big hole in the sky miss. It closed right away after you came through". Your eyes drew to the new voice and you realized the others were here too.

"Yuji..." his eyes widened and he pointed to himself, "You know me?"

You felt your panic rise more, "Of course I know you! All of you, Megumi, Nobara you're all like family to me, why don't you know who I-" you froze. A cold fear overtaking you. The hole. His technique. You got caught up in it. You weren't saved. Satoru hadn't made it in time.

"I t-think, I u-um" you felt your breathing begin to quicken and forming words seemed impossible.

"I t-think I got t-t-transported by the curse I was f-fighting" you felt your whole body shaking and tried to control your breathing.

"Hey calm down, we'll figure things out soon enough" you stepped back abruptly knowing what that tone and outstretched hand meant.

"D-don't knock me out, you promised you wouldn't do it anymore.." although you supposed that this Gojo had no idea.

He seemed troubled at what to do but sighed a moment later.

"For now why don't we just head back to the school..." you reguarded him for a moment then hesitantly shook your head.

"Alright..." you silently followed everyone, feeling more nervous with every silent step.

The quiet was maddening and you were grateful that Yuji spoke up finally,probably becoming aware of your borderline panic attack "Don't worry, weird things are always happening here. We'll figure whatever this is out ok?" You managed to crack a little tired smile.

"Yeah".

*************************************************

Of the many times you had been sat across Yaga, this was the first time you were ever intimidated.

"Start from the beginning" was all he said as you fidgeted in discomfort. Gojo stood beside Yaga, leaning back on the wall, while Yaga sat imposing as if he was dealing with a curse.

You took a deep breathe and recalled what had happened just before all this madness.

"Well I was just leaving my house to go to the school... I recieved a message saying I needed to report there immediately and I didn't hesitate, thinking maybe something bad had happened...but on the way I was attacked by a curse. I'm not really much of a fighter but I am a little skilled at barriars, so I was able to shield myself against his attacks. The curse became frustrated when he realized he couldn't land a major hit and before I knew it he had sent a huge blast in my direction. I shielded but it didn't matter, I remember feeling really hot and then the next thing I knew I was waking up in Satoru’s arms..."

You peeked at Yaga and saw he was deep in thought. Finally after painful silence he finally spoke, "This curse you fought, what did it look like?"

"He looked kinda like that tree curse thing that the kids fought back at the exchange event, except his presence was..." it was then something struck you. You recall feeling something was off the entire fight. Something oddly familiar and it had just hit you what that was. The smell the energy the odd aura.

"Wait…” both men perked up at this.

"What is it?"

"That's why he felt so familiar!" you said more to yourself in your horror.

"Who are you talking about?"

"The curse...he felt familiar because I've sensed that same presence before..."

They waited for you to continue, "Back when Toru and Megumi first recovered that cursed object...and had me place an extra seal on it...but Toru never mentioned it was stolen? Why didn't he say anything...unless it wasn't stolen but then how did he get unseal- shit"

You ran a hand over your face, "You were right about the spy after all Toru..."

"How can you know all this- the exchange event, who we are, private information if we don't even know who you are?” Yaga eyed you suspiciously.

"I think I can answer that" all eyes snapped to Gojo.

"You mentioned a curse being unsealed, one that megumi and I brought in correct?"

You nodded

"Its a just a theory but I have a hunch I'm correct, tell me, what was the curses name?"

"Ah um...lemme think, it was definitely...uh...ama...amamoo, amamee, uh wait...."

"Amamotetsu?" Gojo offered which promptly made Yaga flinch in shock.

"Yeah that's it!" You jumped up.

"Amamotetsu-! But how?!" Yaga tensed shooting up.

"I'm not sure how he got unsealed but...this isn't the first time I've heard this type of thing happening before.."

This caught your attention, "What do you mean?"

"When Megumi and I first retrieved the curse, we teamed up with Nanami. He was the one who told us about this curse's history... apparently this particular curse is known for transcending through times and universes-"

"W-what?" You felt your body slump down. What did that mean?? Did that mean you- that you were in a different universe?! How-what- you felt your whole body begin to shake.

This was the first time Yaga seemed to let down his guard because he now was beginning to understand you weren't a threat.

You felt something warm being placed on your shoulders. You looked up at Yaga through blurred lenses.

"Yaga..." your voice broke as did the dam holding back your tears... how could this have happened?! What were you even supposed to do?! And Satoru, what was he even going through now?!"

"Listen, theres no need to panic, we'll figure it out alright?" He assured you, but it wasn't quite the same knowing he didn't know you." You nodded anyway.

"Satoru, why don't you call Nanami, we'll see what more he can tell us...in the meantime it would help if we knew some more about you and the curse." You nodded and braced yourself for the onslaught of questions.

"First off, it's quite clear you're close to us, so are you a teacher here or something?" You a teacher? If you weren't so upset you'd laugh

"Teacher? No, I actually work in the city..but I do help out occasionally at the school when I'm needed.."

"So then how did you get involved with us in the first place?" you looked over to where Satoru was finishing the call with Nanami.

"Well...Satoru helped me fight off a curse one time, that's how we met. He basically saved me and then convinced me to train with him...since then I've always kinda been around.." you twiddled with the ring on your finger, more specifically the ring he gave you on that special day.

Yaga must've of noticed your hesitance. "Something tells me there's more to the story.." you looked up with sad eyes, then over to where satoru was also now tuned in, phone in his pocket. You took a deep breathe.

"No it's just, it's finally sinking in ya know..." you decided to keep that part about your relationship quiet for now. You were already overwhelmed and just wanted to lie down for awhile. Your injured although mild still hurt and you were now feeling the true exhaustion settle in.

Yaga looked at you sympathetically then nodded, "Why don't you rest for little, Satoru?" He got off the wall, "Nanami will come by tonight, for now I'll take her to Shoko. Yaga nodded then patted your shoulder gently, "Try to get some sleep, we'll figure all this out" you thanked him quietly then followed Satoru out the room.

You quietly trailed behind him in the dim hallway. His back had never made you feel so lonely.

You didn't even realize you were crying until you felt the coldness on your cheeks. Satoru pasued a sec to turn around.

"Hey, there's no need for tears, didn't you hear us? We'll figure it out"

You nodded despondently.

"C'mon, have I ever let you down before?" He smirked.

You smirked through the tears, "Always so confident, no matter what universe huh" you wiped away your tears with your sleeve and walked next to him.

"Well I am the strongest, I'm sure any other version of me would no doubt be the same"

"Yeah maybe arrogant is the better word.."

"Awe don't be mean now, after all for you to be so casual around me, we must be friends yeah?"

"Yeah you could say that..." you absentmindedly twirled the ring around your finger. Remembering the way he proposed all those years ago.

"And here we are, Shoko!” He called busting inside without knocking.

"How many times have I told you not just to barge in here?”

"Well it's an emergency of sorts"

"Huh?" She finally looked up from her work.

You waved shyly.

"And who's this?"

"Well now that's a bit complicated..."

**************************************************

"Take it easy alright, and if you need anything here's my cell"

"Thanks Shoko, oh wait my phone!" You suddenly remembered and frantically patted your body down.

You sighed in relief pulling out the device, seemingly unharmed by some miracle.

But then your brows furrowed seeing the blue case instead of your own and a sticky note with a tongue sticking out. *Bring this to me at work will you baby, then I can see your beautiful face*

You felt your irritation rise, "Of all the days Satoru you had to switch our phones today!? Ugh" you ripped off the note, usually you loved these little pranks but now you wanted to kill him.

"Huh what did I do?"

"Sorry not you, other you.." you clicked the on button and tried a variety of passwords.

Dammit satoru

"Wait is that my phone?" He peered over your shoulder.

You perked up, "yeah it is! Do you know the password?”

"Hmm lemme try" he grabbed it out of your hands and you waited anxiously.

"Got it"

"Wait really?!"

"Yep, All great gojos think alike-" he suddenly froze.

"What's wrong?" You eyed him curiously but he just stared at his phone dumfoundedly.

"How close did you say we were again...?"

Shoko curious leaned over and her eyes went wide.

"What do you mean, what are you looking at?" You moved next to him and gasped at the saved screen. A picture of you asleep in bed in something strappy, barely covered by the sheets and toru leaned over kissing your cheek.

"AH DON'T LOOK" you tried snatching the phone away but he held It above his head.

Ugh his stupid tallness!!

"Satoru wait!" You reached helplessly as he started scrolling through his camera roll. You were mortified to learn that most of them were candid shots of you. Some appropriate and some not.

You excersizing bent over, your sillohette behind the shower curtain, you licking a lollipop, you wearing a shirt of his on laundry day…

"Geez were you stalking her or something" shoko commented disturbed.

"Satoru! please!" Finally he let you snatch the phone back. Your face hotter than the sun.

"So I guess that's what you were hiding..."

you sighed knowing you couldn't keep it hidden much longer.

"I guess that explains a little why you have my grandmothers ring..”

this got your attention.

"Wait what??" Your eyes widened.

"This is you're grandmothers ring?!"

"You mean you didn't know...?" Shoko asked.

"No...you just gave it to me, but you never said it was hers" You felt a rush of warmth knowing how much she meant to him. Probably the only member of his clan that actually cared for him. Sadly she passed when he was young. The truth is this was the ring he gave you when he proposed- or more like told you he was gonna marry you and you didn't have a choice- not that you were gonna say no to the cocky idiot.

"So what's your relationship with other Gojo then?" Shoko asked.

"Well uh...that's a little...." You hesitated wondering if you should say.

"Might as well say it, I mean obviously other me and you are pretty close" he motioned to the phone.

sigh

here goes

"I guess some might say...well if you look at it one way...um... I guess legally and technically other you, and me are what some might call...married"

"What no way?! Gojo actually settled down!?”

“Hey don’t sound so surprised! Although to be honest.. I’m finding that a little hard to believe myself..”

“Well you weren’t exactly a one woman guy when I met you..”you recalled all his various flings in the time before you were dating.

“The other me must be worried then huh?”

I sigh, “I wonder if you’ve figured out what happened yet..”

“Don’t worry, I’m really smart, there’s no way I wouldn’t know”

“Cocky bastard” I let out a tired laugh.

BZZZT BZZZT BZZZT

“Huh?”

“Wait is other gojos phone ringing?”

“Yeah it says “Wifey is calling..”

“What no way!? How?!” I jump to grab the phone and answer the call. Not knowing really what to expect. Maybe the tower got mingled weirdly.

“H-hello??” I call out anxiously.

“Y/n? Where are you!?”

“T-Toru!!!” I can’t help but cry out.

“Are you ok? What happened?? Why can’t I sense your energy in the city?”

“T-Toru I was attacked on the way to the school! I think that curse- amamama got free and he sent me to another dimension!!!”

“Babe..have you been drinking?”

“I’m serious Toru! That curse! The one you and Megumi brought for me to add a seal to! He sent me to another dimension! I’m here with another version of you!!”

“…is this payback for because I said your ass got bigger? Because you know I meant that as a compliment.”

“Y-you idiot!! I’m serious!!”

“No kidding? You’re being serious?”

“Would I joke about something like this?”

“… hold on a sec” a woosh sound emits from the speaker

“Shit..”

“Toru?”

“I just transported to the road. I can sense the residual energy…I see blood, were you hurt?” He sounds more serious now.

“I’m ok.. Shoko fixed me up..”

“So what…you’re in a dimension parallel to ours?”

“Not exactly… I guess I don’t exist here.. or at least I’m not apart of everyone’s lives..”

“…don’t worry alright? I’ll figure this out, have I ever let you down?”

I give this gojo a knowing look,

“Never.”

“Plus my birthdays coming up, and you promised to do that thing I like as much as I want so how can I let you be in another dimension for too long?”

“Ah Toru you’re on speaker you know!!”

“Hey other me you there?!” Your gojo suddenly shouted.

“Uh yep I’m here..”

“This is definitely a first.. ahem well anyway until I get this sorted out take care of our girl alright?!She’s pretty weak so keep an ey-“

“Hey!”

“As I was saying, keep an eye on her. Also make sure she gets iron pills from the pharmacy since hers are here. Oh and she’s allergic to tuna and if she stays out in the sun too long she’ll get this weird rash-“

“I’m hanging up” you reached for the button.

“Hey cmon I’m not there-well I’m kind of there but I just wanna make sure my baby is taken care of!!”

“I’m an adult not a child! You don’t need to say all these things, I can take care of myself here just fine!!”

“Pfft says the one who made me transport home in the middle of a mission to kill a cockroach.”

“IT HAD WINGS”

“Alright alright, I know you’re a big girl. Let me go so I can figure this all out quickly and get you back.”

“Yeah..ok”

“Hey, no crying ok?”

“Ok.. I guess I’ll talk to you later? We are meeting Nanami here because he has knowledge about the curse apparently. I’ll let you know how that goes..”

“Alright, later then.”

“Love you Toru…”

“Not as much as I love me”

“Pfft asshole”

“Heh, there’s that laugh I love so much. love ya sweetheart, be careful ok?”

“I will”

*click*

For the first time since your arrival you felt some relief.

You awkwardly looked up to the pair and found Shoko dumbfounded and satoru scratching the back of his head.

“Still can’t believe it…”

“Um well that was definitely a first…”

“So what now?” Shoko took a drag seeming bored already.

“Now we go and see if Nanami can make sense of this. Come on, he’s waiting for us.” He motioned and you followed with a bit more hope now.

The power of two Gojos with one goal? Yeah you’d be home before you knew it.

Should I continue this? Make it into a series? Lemme know:) thanks for reading!

Part 2

[knightjpg]

Tending the Garden

His other hand lets yours go, knuckles brushing sweetly over your cheek. Your breath hitches. You can't help yourself—your gaze drops to his lips. The sweet curve of them.  What you wouldn't give. 

tags: 🔞Javier Escuella/reader, unprotected piv, oral (m receiving), body worship, fingering

part 1 | part 2

The weather turns. Summer rainstorms plague you, and while your garden drinks it up the sudden bursts of heavy rain make doing work outside impossible. 

It comes and goes without warning or announcement—which is why you're startled into a surprised shout when you get hosed down again while crouched in between your tomato plants. Javier is close by, already rushing for shelter, but something catches your eye. 

“The laundry—!” 

Damn it, and it was nearly dry too! You can't help yourself and rush over to try and save some of it. It turns out to be a futile effort. Everything's drenched. When you realise it's hopeless you curse, leave it and turn on your heel to run inside. 

Not that that really matters anymore. You're soaked from tip to toe, your light work clothes sticking to you like a second skin. Javier is already toweling himself off when you burst inside and push back the rain-slick hair out of your eyes. In your haste to get dry you miss the way Javier freezes when he sees you. His eyes linger on your chest, on the curves of your body that show through the soaked fabric so clearly, on your ass when you bend down to shake the water out of your boots. 

You laugh a little breathlessly when you make eye contact with him. “Tried to get the damn laundry...” you explain yourself while gratefully taking the towel he holds out to you. 

In an effort not to stare at his shirtless torso you turn around, wiping your face dry and ruffling the towel over your hair. Should probably get changed... 

...into what, exactly? Your other blouses are dripping on the laundry line, and you ripped your one spare while tracking down an elk a few days ago. With the garden harvest keeping you busy you haven't gotten ‘round to mending it yet. 

You huff a breath of irritation. 

“¿Cuál es el problema?” 

He's reading you better by the day, ain't he?  

“'S nothing, 's nothing. Just ain't got a single dry thing to dress myself in.” You shake your head. “Guess I'll just wait it out.” At least it's not too cold. Hopefully the air will warm up again quickly after the rain's passed. 

“No, no, you will get sick,” Javier frowns. “Wait.” He disappears into his room and comes back out with his poncho. 

You protest, but Javier won't hear it and wraps the fabric around your shoulders. You stumble forward just a little when he does, closer to him, his hands still holding the fabric on either of your sides. Trapped. Your heartbeat accelerates when Javier looks at you for just a beat too long and you think you see—a flicker of something. 

Then it's gone, and you're left wondering. He lets you go, taking a respectful step back, but you replay the way his gaze burned on you many times over late at night. Feeling ashamed of yourself for—for wanting him. 

Because oh, Lord, you do. You try to deny it, but you know you do. 

Wrapped in his scent all day, musk and smoke and the scratchy fabric of his poncho on your bare skin, has you wound more tightly than ever before. God forgive you, but— 

Just... just this once. 

The nights out here are quiet; just the occasional hoot of an owl or the cry of some other night creature out hunting. 

You can hear your sharp intake of breath cut through the air as your hand trails lower, over your stomach, through the rough, curling hair on your mound. You bite your lip to muffle the whimper that threatens to escape when you touch yourself. 

You think about Javier's rough, slender hands. The way he presses your father's old harmonica to his mouth, playing you a sweet tune when the labour of the day is done. Wishing he'd press his lips to your skin in just the same way, his low, pleasant voice whispering over your naked body. Praising you, licking you, biting you. Pressing into you— 

You arch up, losing yourself in the pleasure that spikes through you. It's so easy to slip into the daydream of Javier, Javier coaxing you through your release, Javier's fingers working your clit, Javier whispering your name in the dark. 

Despite your best efforts some soft sounds escape you, and as you lie on your bed, panting slightly from coming down from your high, you burn with embarrassment at what you've just done. Good God, how are you going to look him in the eye tomorrow? 

And what if—what if he heard? 

Mortifyingly, you can't decide between wishing he had or not. 

—

Summer keeps you busy enough to push your shame to a far, dark corner in your mind. There's so much to grow and harvest and hunt, and even though the days are long the hours feel far too short. Canning beans, drying herbs, fermenting vegetables; smoking meat and cutting wood. 

Your garden has all but exploded. Sweet, red-ripe tomatoes, rich purple eggplants, peas that grow faster than you can cut them, and what must be the record for the largest zucchini you ever did see. There's berries, too, daily sun-warmed sweet treats, bursting apart on your tongue. 

Perhaps it's because there's two pairs of hands to care for the soil this year around; your father always did find fishing and hunting to suit him better, and often you were the sole caretaker of your plot of land. 

You didn't mind; you liked growing things. Liked the warm earth between your fingers and the rush of pride when another small green sprout popped up because of your hard work alone. 

But you hadn't known that shared joy could taste this sweet. Javier goes out with you during early summer mornings, feeding the chickens—the ladies—before poring over every little stalk and leaf. He scolds bugs and snails in Spanish, tossing them far across the hills after he's shown you the accursed criminal, and argues with the birds brave enough to come close enough. 

“El ládron has visited again,” he huffs. “He made a hole in the net.” 

“That scoundrel,” you say, trying hard to hold back your laughter. Javier looks cute when he scowls, brows furrowed and mouth pursed disapprovingly like a teacher disappointed in his student. As though the birds should know better by now than to try and steal from him. 

You relish in your shared routine.  

“Mira, there are more frambuesas,” Javier points out. He's right; many of the still too-hard raspberries have plumped into thick batches overnight. 

“Look at that,” you say. “I guess we better start eatin’ them before el ládron does.” 

Javier bends down to pick a handful and presents one to you with a smile. “Here—” 

You don't know why you open your mouth. Surely he meant for you to take it from him with your fingers— 

Javier slips the berry in your mouth. His fingertips brush your lower lip, smelling fresh and sweet. His smile has faded; his gaze has locked on your tongue darting out to catch the juice spilling over. 

It's quiet for a beat too long. 

You duck your head and clear your throat, an uncomfortable laugh bubbling up to prick through the silence. “Right! Um. I guess we better get to work, yeah?” 

—

Javier slumps in his chair with a relieved groan. The kitchen smells like sweet fruit; your freshly made jam is cooling in jars on the table. 

You pat his shoulder. “Thanks for helpin’ me, darlin'.” 

“Anything for you,” Javier replies tiredly. You huff a laugh, fingers lingering on his arm before pulling away. 

“I'll bake you some pancakes,” you promise him. “Those'll go real well with our jam. We'll have ourselves a right feast for the hard work we been puttin’ in.” 

Javier perks up. “A party?” 

“Sure,” you smile. “We'll make it a party. Why not.” 

You follow up on that promise two days later. You spend nearly all day in the kitchen, sweating over the fire, shooing Javier when he comes wandering multiple times to try and sneak a bite of something when you're not looking. 

Your effort pays off: there's venison roast, its fragrant herb garnish mouth-watering; savoury vegetable pies, stuffed with today's pickings; sweet cornbread, with butter and nuts to go with; and fruit cobbler, Javier's favourite, for dessert. 

You pour yourself and Javier wine that you save for special occasions and make a short, sweet toast; “To our hard work!” 

You laugh and chat and eat, and when you've had your fill you linger over your plates. Happy. Content. Even when he leaves—you'll have this. You'll have this memory. 

You look up when Javier scrapes his chair back, holding out a hand in invitation. “Señorita,” he says with a quirk of his lips, “it is not a party without dancing.” 

“Dancin’?” you ask, amused, even if your hand is already placing itself in his. “We ain't got no music to dance to.” 

“Of course we do,” Javier replies lightly, pulling you to your feet. One of his hand presses against the small of your waist, tugging you closer; the other takes the hand already in his and puts it over his heart. “Listen.” 

Words falter you, then, against the thrum of his heartbeat strong and alive under your fingertips. Your cheeks feel warm, warmer than because of any effect the wine might've had, and you're powerless to stop Javier when he pulls you into a simple two-step, swaying from side to side. 

And when he starts humming a song, gently guiding you into a twirl, you follow with a smile. When Javier dips you and you almost bump into the kitchen table both of you laugh. Javier is careful with you, though, and doesn't allow you to bruise yourself on the wood. He seems to prefer keeping you closely tucked against his chest, anyway, and you're not about to complain. 

But you do wish the song lasted longer. Javier smells like summer. Warm dirt, sweat, something green that is beautiful and alive. You want to bottle it up and store it on your shelves next to your jam and pickled berries and dried herbs. Something for the hard days, the cold and quiet days where you need something sweet and light to get you out of bed in the mornings. 

All things end, you know that. The cycle of the seasons you live with is a constant reminder. Javier's humming dies away like the birdsong just before autumn becomes winter. You can't help your smile turning just a little sad, and wait for him to release you. Ready to drift away like a little leaf turned brown and dry. 

...Except he doesn't. His beautiful eyes have softened into something straight from your daydreams, the ones where you let yourself be greedy and selfish. Keep him all for yourself. The weight of his hand on your waist does nothing to ground you, either—it's too easy to imagine his touch on your bare skin. 

His other hand lets yours go, knuckles brushing sweetly over your cheek. Your breath hitches. You can't help yourself—your gaze drops to his lips. The sweet curve of them. 

What you wouldn't give. 

An easy apology is on the tip of your tongue, ready to break away from this momentary bubble, ready to step back into a friendly distance. You're about to say it. Manage to tear your eyes away from Javier's mouth— 

And startle at the heat in his eyes. “Ay, cariño,” he murmurs. “Eres hermosa.” 

You know that word. A hot flash rushes through you at the compliment, bursts into flames when Javier leans forward and presses his lips against yours with a sweet insistence. Your eyes flutter shut, the hand that was resting on his shoulder sliding to his neck, responding eagerly, needily—wanted him for so long—  

Javier is not unaffected by your enthusiasm and he groans into your mouth, pressing you closer against him. His kiss grows hungrier, demanding. And you— 

You force yourself away, panting for air. “I can't,” you gasp. “I can't.” 

It'll hurt. This—no more Javier, no more made-up songs hummed in the morning, no more complaints about dirt scuffing the knees on his pants. This is already going to hurt, and if you let him take this piece of you as well you don't know how long it will take you to recover if at all. 

“Why?” Javier doesn't let go of you but allows you a little more space when you push against his chest. “Te deseo. I want you.” His voice is low, husky. A shiver works its way along your spine, and with the way he squeezes your sides you know he felt it too. 

“I—” You look away from him, pained. “You'll leave someday, Javier—I can't... Can't do this if you—if I know you'll disappear on me—” 

“You want me to leave?” Javier asks, frowning. 

“No! No, of course not, just... You ain't owed me a thing, and—I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to go. I'm sure you've got better things to do—” 

“Querida,” Javier says, more forcefully this time. You look up at his him, his expression fierce. “I do not want to leave. ¿Adónde iría?” Realisation dawns on him. “Dios mío, is this why you said I should get Boaz—?” 

Your guilty expression tells all, and he lets out an exasperated laugh before pulling you into another kiss. This one is a less careful. Less sweet. Never mind the meal you just had—Javier kisses you like he hasn't eaten in days. You let out a soft, surprised sound and he swallows it, biting at your lower lip so he can slide his tongue against yours. Swallows all the little whines and moans that follow, too, until your knees grow weak and the only thing you're capable of doing is melting against him. 

“No voy a ninguna parte,” he mutters, his lips moving against yours without ever leaving you. “Todo el tiempo que me lo permitas.” 

“Javi—” you're cut off when he kisses you again, set on devouring you. “Can't—I don't know what...” 

He slows down then, just a little, thumbing your cheek and forehead pressed against yours. “I will not leave, cariño. Unless you tell me to.” 

Warmth blooms through your chest, spreading all the way to your fingertips. “You better not,” you murmur back. Your free hand has come up to fist the fabric of his blouse. “Who'd fix the fence for me if you went?” 

Javier smiles, huffing a quiet laugh through his nose. “Te lo prometo.” 

Promise.   

It's what snaps that feeble thread pulled taut, on the verge of breaking for months. 

And finally... you relax. Pull him into you, trying to kiss him sweet and slow and then immediately abandoning that effort the second you taste him again. Javier's hands rove over your body, squeezing your hips, your waist, your ass. You're eagerly exploring him, too; smoothing your hands over his chest, feeling his lean muscles flex under your touch. His strong arms. His narrow hips. 

“Llevo meses queriendo besarte,” he groans against your mouth. “I think about you. On your back. On your knees. Todas las noches.” 

Oh, God. You whimper when he moves his mouth to your neck to bite at the soft, sensitive skin and your hands fly up to tangle in his hair, tugging at his ponytail. His own hands have slid to your hips, keeping them pressed against him in an iron grip. You can feel his arousal press against you, and when he sucks on a particularly sweet spot below your jaw your hips buck forward. Javier moans against your skin. 

And when you grow daring and let your hand trail down to cup the bulge in his pants the groan he lets out rumbles through his entire chest. You lower yourself slowly, holding his eyes, and Javier watches you with parted, kiss-swollen lips, breath coming more quickly with the way you're caressing his cock through the fabric of his dark jeans. 

“You wanted me on my knees, sweetheart?” you ask with a smile, tugging at his button and fly and Javier wastes no time helping you, his cock finally springing free with a tip leaking precum. You keep yourself from groaning. It's a good thing you're kneeling—your legs might have buckled if you'd kept standing. You shift and the wooden floor digs into your knees, but you can't bring yourself to stop or care. You wrap your hand around him, and Javier's hips jolt forward involuntarily. His hands stroke your hair, your cheek. Looking down on you with flushed cheeks and glittering eyes.  

Beautiful. 

You give a few experimental pumps and relish the quiet moans and groans fall from Javier's lips. “Mierda,” he hisses when he feels your tongue on his shaft. You lick up from the base to the tip, your hand still pumping him slowly. Javier's breath quickens in anticipation, the hand on your head grabbing your hair for something to hold onto. You've wanted this for so long it's hard to draw out any teasing, but you try. Try to make it good for him. You slowly take him into your mouth, hands sliding over his hips and tugging him forward gently, encouraging him to take the pace how he likes. 

Javier throws his head back, a low, constant groan filling the room. “Dios mio... You feel—oh, querida...” 

The hand in your hair tightens his hold on you, and he slowly thrusts forward, a string of curses and praises falling from his lips. “Tan bueno, tan bueno, cariño... Oh, don't stop, don't stop. No te atrevas a parar—” 

You relax your throat, pushing yourself onto him further until the dark, wiry hair trailing down his stomach tickles your nose. Javier is loud, hips stuttering as he moans, lost to words when you gag and swallow around him. Drool trickles down your chin as you breathe heavily through your nose, then pull off to gulp for air. You do it again; and again, and each time Javier's low whines and groans fill the room heat pools in your core. You can feel your wetness against your bloomers, sorely tempted to touch yourself, but you don't want to miss even a second of Javier's pleasure. 

“Oh, mi angél,” and Javier shudders when you slide your hands over his thighs, nails dragging over his skin. You repeat the motion, swirl your tongue over the head, and that's all it takes. Javier’s hips jump one last time, voice shooting up an octave as he finds his release. Your eyes water but you keep your mouth on him, swallowing down his salty bitterness, then slowly ease off and look up through your lashes. 

Javier watches you with half-lidded eyes, chest heaving, and reaches down to swipe a stray drop of cum off your chin to bring it to your lips instead. You flush, but open your mouth for him. Javier groans weakly when you clean his thumb, watches intently as you swallow. 

“Hermosa... Ven aquí—come here.” Javier helps you up and kisses you again, drinking his own aftertaste from your tongue. 

He pulls back and watches you with lidded eyes, a sated flush settled over fine features coloured a warmer brown by days of summer sunshine. His gaze softens when you smile at him, a little breathless and a lot aroused. 

That softness is replaced by a mischievous glint a second later, and you watch, everything feeling sticky-slow through the haze of your lust, as he bends through he knees and lifts you in his arms. 

“Javi—what are you doing?” you laugh, arms flying around his shoulders for purchase. “Put me down, I'm heavy—!” 

Javier defiantly does a little spin that has you clinging to him tighter, and you let out a half-smothered squeal of surprise. 

“My turn now,” he says smugly, and then he's marching to your bedroom, nudging the door open with his shoulder and pushing past it with a wide grin and flushed cheeks. It's clumsy and uncoordinated because he refuses to stop looking at you longer than a second, too caught up in the dizzying high of chasing something that has been brewing between the two of you for too long. 

When he deposits you on your mattress and half-falls over you, legs tangled together, he laughs, giddy with happy disbelief, and you join him while reaching for him with greedy arms. 

Javier goes willingly. Now that he's had a taste of you it's like he can't stop, chasing your lips while barely stopping to catch his breath. His hair slips out of his ponytail, tickling your cheek and then your neck when his kisses trail down to your chest. He curses when the buttons on your blouse don't yield immediately, and you help him impatiently rip the fabric out of the way.  

A moan stutters out of your chest when warm, wet lips caress your breasts, joined by callused fingers only moments later. For all his impatience Javier's touch borders on reverent. He kneads your flesh gently, dragging his fingertips over the goosebumps left in the wake of his cooling spit. Your eyes squeeze shut when he laves his tongue over your nipples, spurred on by your whines. 

You're not the only one feeling pent-up. 

Javier's hips rut into yours seemingly without being aware of it, chest pressing against your own, the need to be closer overtaking everything else. Mercifully he's not so far gone that he doesn't remember to move his hands further south in the direction of what has gone from a simmering excitement to an aching heat. 

Javier lets out a breathy “oh”, followed by shocked, pleased laughter when he feels how drenched you are for him. “This is for me?” he has the audacity to ask with that wicked curl to his lips. 

You flush and try to answer him, then stutter out something unintelligible when his fingers swipe up and around and Lord—  

You throw your head backwards, choking on a moan. The only thing you manage for Javier is a harsh, panted “oh God” while your hips buck and writhe without your permission, trying to get more of that delicious friction.  

It takes Javier a few tries to settle on what you like, but he's got a good ear and a stubborn streak. He listens closely to your whines and groans, and when your back arches on a particularly good stroke he repeats it. Again. Again— 

“Like this?” Javier rasps. When your eyes flutter open they look right into his, dark and huge and hungry. If you had half a mind to think on it his expression would remind you of the day you found him, sat at your dinner table and wolfing down his food. 

“Yes,” you whimper. “Oh—Javier, yes, right—right there—”  

Javier answers with a moan of his own as though your pleasure with his. His fingers are steadily pouring more of that hot syrupy feeling in your lower stomach, feeding the boil of the flames, and the temperature spikes when Javier leans forward again to kiss your chest. 

When his teeth gently scrape your breast you whimper, stomach tensing, and when his lips close around your nipple to suck on your flesh you break. A brushfire rages through you from tip to toe and leave you feeling like you're the smoke coming off it, floating high and hazy far above in the clouds. Time is slow and sticky, just like your body when you come down. 

When you open your eyes again, ears ringing and chest heaving, you're met with a daydream lovelier than anything you could've conjured up yourself. Javier's eyes have turned into warm honey, sweet and soft and wanting, drinking you in with undisguised affection. 

You cup his face in your hands and feel him tremble ever so slightly, and you let a shaky laugh yourself. Smooth your fingers over his brows, his jaw. The world has tilted from its usual axis. The abundance of summer bursting at the seams while birds trill their songs for love-making, every little thing in the world around you vibrant and at the height of its arching crescendo. 

“Hermosa,” Javier murmurs again, voice raspy. He bends down to kiss you again, and though this one is less hurried it is by no means any less sweet. 

When he pulls back you take the opportunity to shuck off your pants—they feel too-heavy and coarse. You want to feel Javier's calluses without fabric in the way. 

Javier mirrors you, quickly shedding his blouse and pants, hopping on one feet while he fights with the leg, and you laugh. He looks up, grinning, and you feel your heart flood.  

His smile remains when he crawls over you again and you shift to pull him closer, further across the bed. It's as though the two of you have always fit together—you part your thighs and Javier's hips follow, slotting into the space like this was always meant to be for him and him alone. 

So much skin on skin after so long feels overwhelming. Everything you've wanted condensed down to the essence, suddenly too rich a flavour to swallow down without choking on it. 

You shudder. 

Javier sighs. 

You'd wager both of you have been hungry for something other than a well-cooked meal for a while. 

“Yes?” Javier asks, thumb brushing the apple of your cheek. 

“Yes,” you answer, hushed. Like a prayer. 

Javier groans when he slides his cock through your slick, but he's patient while he lines himself up and gives you time to adjust. He feeds himself to you slowly, heartbeat jumping wildly under his pulse while you breathe through the stretch.  

It's been a long time since you've had anything but your fingers, and though the fullness is welcome it makes you tremble and clutch at Javier's arms for support. When you nod for him to move Javier pulls out halfway, then rocks back in, each time a little deeper until he fills the whole space of you. 

Javier exhales shakily, dropping his head to the crook of your shoulder when you circle your arms around his neck. For a little time the only thing in the room are quiet pants, the slap of skin on skin, and the slide of sweat. Javier kisses your neck, your cheek, your lips, and you wrap your legs around his waist to keep him as close as you can. 

That sticky feel-good feeling in your stomach burns low and steady, each stroke adding to a lazy simmering arousal—but when Javier wriggles his hand between your bodies to stroke your clit again it jumps. You gasp, tensing and squeezing around him. 

“Dios mío,” Javier groans, hips bucking forward in response. “You feel so good—so good. Am I—nnngh—am I making you feel good, cariño?” 

“Yes,” you tell him. “Yes, yes—” 

Javier curses. He loses his rhythm with the tight flutter of your cunt, panting “Take it, take it,” before tensing and spilling deep inside you. His release brings forth another zing of pleasure and Javier's fingers keep working you until you follow him in his release. 

Boneless, you lie together to catch your breaths until Javier pulls back to look down at you. “You are beautiful,” he says quietly, and he dips down to kiss you. Chaste, this time, tired and sated. Loving. It unknots the last of your worries that Javier might leave in search of something better after all—if this kind of tenderness isn't real, nothing is. 

“So are you,” you smile. 

You spend the aftermath tangled in each other's arms. Javier's collarbone digs into your cheek and you know for a fact your leg will start cramping in a little while, but you wouldn't trade it for the world. You can feel his lungs expand, breathing slow, alive like summer winds. 

Javier's rough fingertips swipe over the naked skin of your shoulder in a circular soothing motion. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs against your temple. “For caring.”  

A soft kiss on the column of your throat. 

“It makes me want to care, too.”

[jaylver]

YOU ARE IN LOVE — S.JY

SYNOPSIS: one summer. two idiots. what could possibly go wrong? you swore this was finally going to be a memorable summer, one where it'll be filled with adventures just like coming of age movies. but then jake sim just had to ruin it. how so? by taking over your head.

PAIRINGS: childhood bestfriend!jake x afab!reader

GENRE: childhood bestfriends to lovers, angst, romance, pining

WARNING(S): miscommunications, parties, alcohol, profanities

WC: 4.7k

A/N: this has been rotting in my docs for AGES before i even created this account 😭 i wanted to free it so here we are 👹 apologies in advance if it's tacky/lacky writing since this short fic was written when i was starting to get out of my burn out >.< lmk your feedbacks as always! <3

masterlist | © jaylver 2023 all rights reserved

Summer is the best thing to ever happen to mankind. 

Trips to the beach, ice cream dates, late night drives, house parties, the list goes on and on. And who else to spend it with? Of course, your one and only best friend and neighbour since you were four years old, Jake Sim.

Every summer was practically filled with him and him only. Ever since you were kids, you did everything together. Writing up lists and going on adventures, spending nights watching movies et cetera. But this summer, it seemed … different.

Maybe it was the problem of being seventeen. Seventeen is an awkward age. Period. But other than that, you couldn't understand the way he was acting.

Summer always started and ended with him. Always. But this summer, he wasn't anywhere near you. Occasionally popping by and disappearing after nightfall, declining late night movies together or beach trips. Rude!

It just felt weird without him. So, you found yourself turning up in front of his house one day, tapping your foot against the hard floor as you knocked impatiently on the door. 

"Y/N?" Jake appeared in front of you, his eyebrows scrunched with confusion.

“Jake,” you smiled innocently at him, which only made him look at you with more confusion. 

“Y/N it’s 10 pm?” 

“I just wanted to see you,” you admitted, to which you cursed at yourself for letting those words escape your lips so shamelessly because it was something you couldn’t deny. 

You could see the way his gaze softened, then proceeded to let out a sigh. “Is it … because I barely hang out with you these days?”

“So, you’re self aware this whole time?” you couldn’t help shooting back, wrapping your arms around yourself as the cold wind brushed past. But even without the wind, you felt your body freezing up from the sudden burst of nerves.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been busy,” Jake frowned, guilt evident on his face. “Wanna come in, we can hang?”

Just as he finished his sentence, his phone buzzed, a notification popped up. Your eyes averted to the screen of his phone, catching a slight glimpse. “1 new message from Grace”

Your heart dropped. You knew Grace. Hell, everyone knew her, she was the cheerleader of your school after all. Miss Popular, Miss Crowned Queen. And Jake was texting her? Your Jake?

“So, Grace, huh?” Was this what he was caught up with all along? You mentally scolded yourself, wondering why you were even thinking about this when it wasn’t even your business to care about in the first place. This unreadable feeling was brewing in your stomach and you didn’t like it at all.

“It’s nothing, really. She texted me lately, that’s all,” he shoved his phone into his back pocket, giving you a reassuring smile. “Still up to hang?”

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s getting late anyway. Tomorrow?” You didn’t know why you said this. It was never too late when it came to Jake. 

“Sure. I–uhm–heard there’s a party hosted by this guy called Ethan? Wanna come along?” 

You considered for a moment, then nodded. “I’m down.”

“Sweet,” he flashed you that goddamned smile, the one that charmed you until you felt light headed. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow,”

“Cool,” you smiled a little, feeling the air turning still for a second once you locked eyes with him. Your heartbeat quickened, it was as though air was sucked out from your lungs and all you wanted was him. 

“W-Wanna come over watch a movie with me tomorrow before the party? I’m home alone all day and we haven’t hung out properly for a while now,” Jake offered, stumbling over his words as he fidgeted his fingers, ears turning slightly pink.

You grinned. “How about the new Spiderman movie?”

He let out a small laugh, returning a big grin back. “You know me too well, huh? Deal.”

“See you tomorrow then, Jakey,” you reached over to ruffle his hair, but before you could fully pull away, he took hold of your wrist. 

“I’ve missed you, can’t you stay a little longer?” he whined, swinging your arm gently. 

You cursed at him, at his words and the amount of butterflies they’ve caused. “You can’t just say things like that,” you murmured under your breath.

“Hm?” he hummed and you looked up at him. 

You dismissed your previous words, hoping he didn’t catch on to them. “Tomorrow we’re hanging out the whole day anyway. By then you wouldn’t be missing me anymore,” 

“I miss you every day, though. Stick to my side like the old days?”

“How could I say no, Jakey?” you sighed, your heart thumping louder and louder as seconds passed. “Now, go sleep dumbass, we need to wake up early.” 

“Alright, alright,” he threw his hands up in defeat. “Goodnight, Y/N. Don’t stay up too late too, or else you’ll get premature wrinkles.” 

“I’ll beat you up.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

It felt natural.

You were resting on Jake's chest, his arms around you, a bowl balanced on your stomach, a movie blaring in the background, the lights dimmed. It was natural.

"Peter's pretty dumb sometimes, isn't he?" You spoke up, hand reaching into the bowl of popcorn, feeling Jake's hand brush against yours to get some as well.

You tried to excuse the fact that you were about to choke at the slight contact, playing it cool as you chewed on your popcorn.

"Totally. Why would he even do that?" Jake huffed.

You looked up at him from his chest, admiring his face slightly, not even caring about what misdemeanours Peter Parker was committing. 

Jake could feel you staring, and he decided to look down at you, your gazes meeting. This was what you two always do whenever you're watching movies, it should be normal by now, but why in hell were you suddenly nervous?

"Mum wants you to come over for dinner," you whispered to him, reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from his eyes.

"I'm more than glad to do so," Jake pursed his lips, watching your movements closely.

The tension seemed to grow thicker and the movie started to fade into the background as the two of you stayed in this close proximity. You unconsciously glanced at his lips, swallowing thickly once you noticed him reciprocating the same action.

"Y/N-"

"Jake!" 

You almost let out a groan, but instead you looked away, clearing your throat and removing yourself from Jake's body. You were absolutely flushed, thinking of the endless possibilities that could've happened. But in the end, nothing did anyway. And that was why you were about to strangle Park Jong Seong for interrupting. 

"Jay?" Jake fumbled to sit up, his eyes turning to you before refocusing on Jay. "Is it time to leave already?"

"Duh," Jay rolled his eyes, casually dropping onto the couch beside you. "How are you, Y/N? Been enjoying summer?"

"Quite," you simply shrugged. "Someone over here left me alone after he promised a summer full of adventures," you nudged Jake and he smiled apologetically.

"I got caught up with some things!" He defended but Jay raised an eyebrow at his words.

"Some things or some one?"

"What?" You turned to Jake, trying to mask your disappointment with sheer interest. "Is it Grace?"

"So … you knew?" Jay's eyebrows only raised higher.

"I only found out yesterday, indirectly as well." you said, clearly unimpressed.

Jake rolled his eyes, sighing deeply. "Come on, guys. She only texted me once or twice. I was busy cramming my work, okay?"

"That's true too," Jay nodded in understanding. "You practically procrastinated everything and now it's a pile,"

"Must you remind me of it?" Jake groaned, his attention to you, taking notice of your sudden silence. "You alright there?"

You blinked at him, humming in response. How could you tell him that your stomach churned with jealousy whenever Grace was mentioned? How could you even admit that you're currently harbouring some god forbidding liking towards him? Your childhood best friend? The one who once spilled chocolate milk all over his shirt? The one who cried when he was forced to go back home after a whole day together with you? Jake Sim? 

You were fucked. You liked Sim Jaeyun. And you had zero idea what to do about it.

The house party was basically like every other one you've been to. Passed out drunks here and there, the dance floor crammed to the max, the music booming loudly in your ears. Overall, you felt regretful coming here.

What made things worse was Jake abandoning you to talk to Grace. Yup, Grace. Even after all the denial he fed to you and Jay, he's still laughing and talking merrily to her, leaving you stuck in the middle of an unfamiliar house.

What a great Friday night!

It was almost midnight, so you decided to storm out of the house for some fresh air before declaring your leave, but Jake somehow caught you sneaking out.

"Leaving so soon?" He was leaning against the wall, watching your tired figure semi-passed out on the chair.

"God, Jake, you reek of alcohol," you pointed out, scrunching your nose at the stench. "Also, I'm not that inconsiderate. I won't leave you behind … unlike someone over here," you grumbled.

"Look, Grace dragged me away the moment I entered. Plus, I think I got to start avoiding her now," Jake groaned, sitting down next to you.

"Broke her heart?" You assumed. It wasn't uncommon to see Jake reject girls and break their heart growing up. Well, look at him, it was a fact that he got girls lining up for him. But you found it weird how he's never had a long term relationship before, which only made you more wary about your feelings for him.

"I wasn't being a douche about it!" He threw up his hands in defence. "I kindly rejected her, that's all. She seemed cool about it though," he shrugged and you felt his shoulder brush against your arm, his thigh making contact with yours.

"Look at you, all grown up and no longer breaking girls' hearts!" You smiled sarcastically at him. 

"Hey! I literally rejected all of them in a nice way. I'm a kind man, you know?" Jake huffed, stretching his body, then proceeded to slyly place his arms around you.

You were genuinely trying your hardest to remain the best poker face you could even manage. Yet, you knew the facade would eventually fade. "Sure, sure, Jakey boy."

He turned his body to face yours, a challenging expression written all over his face. "Do you remember the time when we were five and I gave you my legos? I still remember how many hugs you gave me every day after that. So yes, I am kind." Jake insisted.

"You remembered?" You grinned at him, feeling your heart rate increasing once you saw the fondness in his eyes.

"Of course I remembered," he said softly. "You give good hugs anyway."

"Want a hug?" You chuckled, not expecting Jake to actually dive into your arms and hold onto you tightly.

"You smell like strawberries," he murmured against your skin. 

You swallowed thickly and started breathing heavily. "A–are you drunk?"

"Just a bit," he pulled away from your body, his brown eyes meeting yours, his hands slowly travelling up to your face.

"Have I ever told you how pretty you are?" He whispered.

"Don't do this," you mumbled, your hand reaching for his wrist.

"What?" He breathed, his warm breath fanning your cheeks. 

"Don't make me fall in love with you completely," you stared into his eyes, slight hurt and regret painted your expressions.

"Fuck, why did I say that?" you laughed pitifully at yourself, removing yourself from his arms and stood up. "It's getting late, let's go," you said, ignoring Jake's lingering gaze.

"Y/N," he held onto your wrist and you stood rooted to the ground, not knowing what you could even say or do. You felt like an idiot. "W–what did you mean by that?" 

"It's nothing," you dismissed his question, feeling yourself sinking into a deeper hole. Jake furrowed his eyebrows, clearly frustrated. The moment he got up, he stumbled slightly and his words slurred. The alcohol has finally seeped in.

"Y/N, come on," he urged, desperation in his eyes. All you could do was sigh. 

"I'm sorry, Jake." 

So you did what you always do every summer. You ran from your problems and hid from the fact you had lingering feelings for your "best friend".

You found yourself avoiding Jake after that night.

It was ironic how you complained about him disappearing in and out of your life during the start of summer, but here you were, doing the same.

He came over to your house a couple of times, but you chose the cowardly choice of hiding away. All of his texts and calls were half answered. 

You hated doing this, you knew it was hurting both you and him. But what could you do? Confess? Well, it was the most obvious way to solve the problem, but you were unwilling to risk a life long friendship with him. Pathetic you were indeed.

The weekend rolled around the corner and you just had to face one demise after another. Jake and his family were coming over for dinner and there's zero chances for you to dodge him this time. Thank you, Universe, you thought sarcastically.

Your palms felt clammy and sweaty as you set up the table. Before this, your mother had specifically requested you to present yourself more formally instead of wearing your typical sweats, so now you were stuck in a black skin tight dress, just appropriate enough to not be deemed as slutty.

"They're here!" your mother announced, clapping her hands in excitement. You, on the other hand, were only filled with nothing but dread.

The door flew open and hugs were exchanged. Your mother squealed happily when she saw Jake and for a moment, you were about to do the same.

His hair was slicked back, only a strand was left hanging in front of his face. He was wearing a formal black suit paired alongside a simple black tie. He was about to be the death of you. 

"Y/N." He nodded at you, lips pressed in a straight line.

"Jake." You replied back, hands kept behind your back, trying to conceal the fact that you were actually fidgeting.

"You kids are matching!" Mrs Sim pointed out, laughing delightfully.

You felt Jake's eyes on your body for a tense moment, sensing them scanning you from top to bottom. You met his gaze once he finished checking you out so blatantly, and all he did was smile at you innocently. Jerk. He knew exactly what he was doing.

"Why don't you kids go hang out yourselves?" Your mother patted your arm. 

"Sure," Jake shrugged, smoothing out the fronts of his blazer.

"Great!" Your mother beamed, then leaned down to whisper to you. "Don't do anything weird, okay?"

You grimaced. "Ew." Must your own mother put the mental image of you doing something 'weird' with Jake into your mind?

You turned around, practically dashing up the stairs towards your room. And as always, Jake followed you like a lost puppy. Once he shut the door to your room, he faced you with a blank expression, devoid of any signs of what he's about to say.

"So? Are you going to explain why you were ignoring me?" Jake leaned against the door, his hands in his pockets as he stared at you, unimpressed.

"What if I don't?" you replied, sitting on the edge of your bed.

"I'll force it out of you somehow, you know I always get my way," he replied nonchalantly and you only rolled your eyes at him, knowing how he wasn't completely wrong.

Jake seemed to have noticed your silence and decided to break the ice first. "I remembered that night, Y/N. You can't hide away from me forever just because of what you said."

You groaned, burying your face into your hands, completely flushed with embarrassment. "Must you remind me?"

"How can I forget about it when my best friend literally told me she loves me?" He kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his. "Can't you just tell me how you feel? It's been days and nights since I felt at peace after what you'd said to me. What's worse is that I couldn't even remember it precisely. So please, just make it clear."

"Fine. Jake, I–"

"Y/N!"

You wished you could blow up right this instance. Out of every second, every minute, your mother just had to call you when you were about to come clean about your feelings. If you could, you would've liked to reach for the nearest pillow and scream into it.

"Well … next time, Jakey boy. Dinner calls!"

Before Jake could respond, you exited your room quickly, ignoring your thumping heart as you replayed everything in your mind. 

Dinner was awkward.

Parents asking about each other's kids' situations and having deep conversations about life while Jake and you, on the other hand, were avoiding each other's gazes. Not ready to face whatever that had just happened.

You thought your torment was finally over when dinner ended and you found yourself dipping your legs by the pool when Jake silently joined your side, following your actions.

"You okay?"

You turned to look at him, kicking your legs slightly, you felt your shoulder brushing against his, thighs touching. "I'm fine. Just a little tired. Why?"

"Nothing. It was just that you were barely speaking all dinner and I got concerned," Jake pointed out and you shrugged nonchalantly.

"Everything's … complicated these days," you said. 

At your words, Jake shifted a little. He knew what your "complicated" meant, it was about you and him. 

"What even are we?" Jake spluttered out and you froze beside him, the water temperature suddenly dropping to 0 degrees. 

"You really want to talk about that now?" You mumbled, frowning.

"Then when can we even face it? I'm tired of you running away and me being in the dark," Jake argued, turning his body to face you.

"Jake …" you were rendered speechless, your body still, guilt clawing its way into your system. "I just don't think I'm ready yet, okay?"

Jake seemed frustrated at your comment. "Y/N–"

"JAKE!" 

It was his mother calling out for him and you heard him swearing under his breath. "Next time, Y/N. I'll wait for you."

With that, he left, leaving you completely dazed. He'll wait? 

"Can you please come? They literally have a pool!"

Thursday night you found yourself at peace knowing nothing will ruin your weekend, until Jay's phone call. Being the party goer he was, he's now trying to convince you to tag along to some guy's party.

"What if I said no?" 

"I don't take 'no' as an answer,"

"Tough luck, champ," 

"Come on, Y/N," Jay whined. "Everyone is going. I mean, Jake is, and that cute guy you mentioned from school — Heeseung — was it? He's there too. You can shoot your shot!"

You thought about it for a moment as you cursed Jay for being way too convincing. "Fine. Since you asked so nicely."

"I know I could always count on you."

Safe to say the party was going considerably well and you weren't about to leave just after arriving for only a solid 15 minutes. Jay remained by yourself for the whole time, conversing with his own circle of friends while your eyes searched for a specific somebody among the sea of people. 

“I’ll go for a dance,” you nudged Jay, trying to get his attention.

“Be safe.” he simply said, but his words were filled with genuinity.

A couple cups of drinks definitely boosted your confidence as you shamelessly swayed your hips to the music playing in the background. The blinking lights blinded your sight, alcohol clouded your thoughts, unknowing to someone sliding close to you. Thankfully, your sixth sense never failed and you turned to meet the gaze of Lee Heeseung.

“Hey,” he casually greeted.

“Hi,” you breathed out, sudden shyness taking over.

“Wanna dance?” he offered and you nodded meekly. “Follow my lead,” he held onto your arms, circling them over his shoulder. 

“Is this okay?” Heeseung whispered and you nodded once more. 

You couldn’t believe this was happening. The cute guy from school was in fact dancing with you. You let yourself let go as you closed your eyes and swayed along to the beat of the music. This was heaven. 

No matter how you tried to shake off that weird feeling, it never went away. You knew someone was staring at you, burning little holes into the back of your head intensely. You opened your eyes, letting them adjust to the startling lights and almost immediately, you locked gazes with him.

Lo and behold, Jake Sim, sitting across the room, his jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed. He was clearly unhappy about whatever you were doing, and you loved the effect you had on him. 

You smiled innocently, leaning close to Heeseung's ear. "I'm going to take a break. See you at school?"

Heeseung grinned at you. "Sure thing. I had fun dancing with you."

"Likewise." 

Thankfully, you managed to waddle your way through the crowd alive and made your way out of the house for some fresh air. The atmosphere inside of the house was too heavy and the smell of sweat and cheap alcohol stuck in the air.

"Running away from me again?" 

A voice came from behind you and you knew who it was immediately.

"Not everything is about you, okay?" You grumbled, hugging your arms around your body for warmth as you sat down on the front steps.

Jake joined your side, placing his hands on his knees, glancing at you from time to time. “Care to explain why you’re actively avoiding me?”

“I’m not,”

“Liar.”

You remained silent, not knowing what to say next. 

“You were dancing real close to Heeseung tonight,” he pointed out.

“Great observation, Sherlock,” you finally dared to turn to look at him. “Can we head back in? I’m craving for a drink,”

Jake only nodded soundlessly, following your movements as you stood up to head back in. You felt bad, guilty even, at the way you’re acting towards your lifelong best friend, but you couldn’t help it, your emotions were basically choking you hard. You tugged on Jake’s shirt, ready to say something.

“Jake—” Just when you two entered, Jake was pulled away, not even sparing a second for you to process, so now you were alone.

 “Great,” you mumbled unhappily under your breath, making your way to the drinks in the kitchen. Maybe they’ll console you instead. You genuinely wondered who’d cursed you countlessly whenever you were trying to confront Jake. 

To your dismay, the kitchen was filled with drunk teenagers who were all busy mixing their new anecdote for the night. Plan B, not the kitchen. 

You left for the living room instead, grumbling in annoyance since you couldn't get a drink. As you were about to turn a corner, you heard voices, very familiar ones and immediately halted your steps.

“You ditched Grace?” Park Sunghoon, the notorious figure skater who everyone was pining for, hissed.

Jake hummed.

“Is it because of Y/N?” Sunghoon asked, an undertone of suspicion laced in his voice.

"I don't like her like that," Jake murmured under his breath.

You froze. This couldn't be happening now, right? Out of any day, any place, it just had to be in a house, in the middle of an ongoing party. To be frank, you've already prepared yourself to face rejection every time you imagined confessing to Jake. But overhearing Jake's negative confession was surely not in your list.

"You're serious?" Sunghoon poked on.

"I don't know, man." Jake sighed in defeat. "Can we not talk about this now?"

You blinked away the confusing feelings you were currently having. Was it anger? Was it sadness? Was it hope? You couldn't tell. All you wanted was to be home, in your cosy bed.

There were many things you were afraid to do in life, such as talking to boys your age, socialising, confronting your crush and so on, but today, right now, you had zero regrets as you continued your steps, walking past Jake.

It was all white noises in your ears and blissful ignorance. Jake was calling after you, trying to reach you, but the crowd only ended up swallowing him whole. 

Once you were out of the house, you found yourself finally breathing again, suddenly thankful for the fresh air. But there's a rather unfortunate problem for you, Jake caught up with you.

"Y/N," he breathed.

"Fuck off," you snapped, an overwhelming wave of emotions clawing in your body.

"Listen to me, I didn't mean that," Jake's voice rose unintentionally.

"Yeah? So you're expecting me to be totally fine as if nothing happened?" You frowned. "Well, hi Jake, how was the party? Not good? Why-"

"Stop! Why are you even acting like this?" Jake grabbed ahold of your shoulders, making you stare directly at him as he could tell you were about to flee at any minute.

"Because–" You shrugged his hold away. "I like you, Jake! Ever since we were fifteen. But you were always so clueless to tell. And this summer, you were basically too hung up over Grace to spend time with me, then that night when you said those things to me, do you expect me to act oblivious after that? And today, you said those words … how am I supposed to know how you feel?"

You couldn't tell what Jake was thinking. He practically had a poker face on, seemingly trying to take in everything you've just said. "Y/N …"

"What do you want from me, Jake?"

Jake took a deep breath, his features ridden with frustration as he burst out.

"I want you. Okay? Happy now?"

To say you were stunned was clearly an understatement. You didn't know what to say or act, staring at him with your mouth ajar. 

"I–I have liked you since we were kids and I don't think I realised until this summer," Jake went on, clearly rambling in distress. "That's why I avoided you, Y/N. I was scared. I didn't know why I felt like that or what I should do. In the end, I figured it was you. It was always you, no matter what."

"Then have me, Jake."

"What?"

It was one of those moments where it felt entirely out of a movie. Jake could only stare at you wordlessly while you breathed heavily, a million thoughts running through your head and you’ve finally accepted it. 

Oh no, you’ve fallen in love.

“Just shut up and kiss me,” you grumbled under your breath, taking his face into your hands and pulling him in for a kiss. 

When your lips touched, it felt as if countless emotions and unspoken words from over the years passed through like a connection. It felt right. Jake slid his hand around your neck, pulling you deeper into the kiss. This was absolute bliss. 

You put your hand on his wrist, pulling away gently, eyes not leaving one another for even a second. The two of you pant softly, trying to catch a breath from the kiss and you started to shy away, in disbelief that this actually happened. Jake noticed, smiling a little, leaning down to press a gentle peck against the side of your mouth.

“Wanna stay over at mine tonight? I can drive,”

“You already know the answer to that.”

Laying in his bed with the lights off accompanied by the whirring of the A/C played in the background, his arms wrapped around you, the beating of his heart against your back, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest, it was something familiar yet so new. 

You turned around to face him, watching as he rubbed his eyes, stirring awake slightly. It was still dark outside, but Jake couldn’t fall asleep, finding himself treasuring your presence instead. You were brushing loose strands of hair away from his face when a strange look appeared and he spoke, voice sluggish.

"You're my best friend."

Somehow, you understood what he meant and you knew what it was. He is in love.

—

[lovebugism]

"s'mores are perfect when the marshmallows are burnt" "you jsut can't cook" + eddie munson for blurbcember ❄️

ty for requesting! :D — you freeze your ass off to spend some time alone with eddie; he learns you love him more than s'mores (established relationships, fluff, 1.6k)

blurbcember ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

You and Eddie sit stranded in Steve’s backyard, the only ones brave enough to weather the late-night cold. 

The bursting bonfire died down to a couple of sparkling orange embers, and the party followed accordingly. While your friends sought shelter in the warm living room, unfreezing their fingers around cups of hot cocoa, you and Eddie remained outside in the navy blue winter — too stubborn to tread behind them.

“But wait— we haven’t made s’mores yet!” you’d whined. The shivering bodies of your friends rushed by you and into the heated house, anyway. Eddie was the only one to stay with you after the fact. ‘Cause his girl was gonna get her s’mores even if it was the last thing he ever did.

He makes the first one perfectly. Mostly because that one was for you.

You sit patiently in the slanted wooden chair, knees up to your chest, drowning in the thick leather jacket Eddie gave you for warmth. It smells just like him — like pine and childhood. It keeps you as warm as the smoky marshmallow on your tongue. 

The melted sugar gets caught in your teeth, along with the chewed-up graham cracker and gooey milk chocolate. You smile with it all anyway when Eddie’s second batch doesn’t turn out nearly as good as his first. 

“Eds, that’s burnt!” you laugh with your mouth still full as he smacks a blackened marshmallow between two square cookies.

In several layers of dark flannel, the boy shrugs lazily. He plops onto the adirondack beside yours and shoots you a lopsided smile, tinted pink and softly chapped. His skin, made more pale by the dark and wintery night, rivals that of the shining full moon. It makes his flushed cheeks that much more rosy.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about— s’mores are perfect when the marshmallows are burnt.”

He takes a too big bite to make a point. You grimace at the crunch of the over-cooked confection, then smile when the melted sugar sticks to Eddie’s chin. “No, you just can’t cook,” you retort with a lovesick grin.

“But I’m right!” he insists, black crumbs sticking to the corners of his mouth.

He’s too hardheaded, and you’re too in love with him to argue about it any further. You just smile and shake your head, so full of adoration you’re sparkling with it. “You’re so cute,” you murmur, features warm and visibly fond.

He grins wide, never minding the food caught in his teeth. “I know.”

“Should we make everyone else one?” you wonder, nose scrunched as you spare a look over your shoulder. 

Through the sliding glass door, you can see into the golden-lit living room. Everyone’s lazing under blankets, crammed onto couches or lounging on the floor. You can’t tell if they’re sleeping or not. You feel the need to take care of them anyway.

Eddie scoffs with his mouth still full. “Hell no! Those cowards chickened out on us,” he answers bitterly, then in a deeper and posher accent, continues. “Only the bravest of warriors can be rewarded with such fine delicacies.”

“Getting hypothermia makes us ‘the bravest of warriors’?”

“You’re the one who wanted to stay out here!”

“I did,” you argue with a laugh. “But not for the stupid s’mores.”

He gets cartoonishly confused. His bushy brows furrow and his winter-kissed features swirl together. If you weren’t weathering the winter for his obviously unmatched cheffing skills, then what exactly were you out here for?

“Then… for what?” he wonders slowly and with his dark eyes squinted.

You roll your eyes at your oblivious boy. A smile hints at the corners of your mouth. “Eddie…” you murmur, hoping your sudden sheepishness might give him some sort of hint. Telling him, ‘I’m out here in the freezing cold because being next to you makes me feel warm’ is far too sweet and not at all on brand for either of you.

“What?” he says with a faint laugh, still visibly clueless.

“I stayed out here because of you, you idiot,” you confess, giggling softly when it makes his doe eyes get all squishy around the edges.

“Oh,” he hums, then grins all wide and giddy. “Sweet.”

It’s too easy to forget how much you like him sometimes. Mostly because he doesn’t feel very deserving of you at all. He just takes all the sweet moments alone with you that he can get, then tries not to explode every time you remind him that you love him back.

“I am starting to get cold, though,” you murmur, jaw tense to keep your teeth from chattering. 

A crisp breeze rolls by and shoves its teeth into every inch of exposed skin it can bite. Your cheeks and lips have long gone numb with it. You can only wrap Eddie’s jacket around you so much before it stops helping.

“Well, I know something that’ll warm us up…” the boy beside you croons with an audible smirk.

Your face scrunches at the implication. “Eddie…” you grouse.

“Get your head out of the gutter— I’m talking about booze.”

You squint at him. He reaches between his many layers and pulls out something from the inner pocket. It glimmers beneath the moonlight for a moment until you realize what it is — a glass, small and polygonal, half-filled with amber liquid.

“I picked the lock to Steve’s dad’s liquor cabinet,” he confesses, twinkling with boyish excitement. “This looked the fanciest, so…”

At a loss for words, you shake your head. “You’re insane,” you tell him, even though your smile says that you’re in love with him and all his crazy.

“I’m surprised it took you this long to figure that out,” he quips and unscrews the glass cap. He sniffs the liquid inside, then takes a sip without fear. He winces at the taste.

“Is it good?” you ask, hiding your laugh behind your palm.

“It’s great—” His answer comes wedged between coughs.

When he passes the small glass off to you, you take your own baby sip of the alcohol, with much more hesitation than the boy beside you. The bitter taste coats your tongue and stings going down. The burn makes you cough. Your chest blooms with warmth.

Eddie’s brows raise expectantly. His lip quirks at the edges. “Good?”

“It tastes like rubbing alcohol,” you grimace and hand the thing back to him.

“That’s how you know it’s good!” he insists. He takes another sip and doesn’t flinch this time around. “Like— this is the shit rich people spend hundreds of dollars on just to pretend it tastes good.”

“Being rich must suck,” you observe with your face screwed up.

“Oh, totally,” the boy scoffs. He goes to take a swig, then sends you a worried glance with the glass up to his lips. “Are you warm yet, at least?”

“Not really… My throat just kinda burns.”

“C’mere. Before you end up like that psycho from The Shining.” 

Eddie slouches softly in his seat and holds his arms out beside him. The invitation is a hard one to turn down. Hair wild, cheeks rosy, and dressed all snug — he looks so visibly warm. You want to curl into his chest like a cat and stay there forever.

“You want me to sit in your lap?” you wonder with your brows pinched.

He nods.

“Eddie. I’ll crush you.”

His features swirl with hurt. “I’m offended that you’re doubting my strength right now, sweetheart.”

“Shut up.”

“Get over here before I cause a scene.”

There’s not much of a scene to cause. Both of you know this. You rise on rigid, frozen limbs anyway and walk the short distance to him. 

His palms are oddly warm as they curl around your hips. You sit hesitantly on his lap at first, as tense as a rock, until he pulls you down completely. His arms settle around your waist like they were always meant to be there, hands fitting with you like a puzzle piece. It doesn’t take long for you to melt against him.

Eddie grins at the comforting weight of you. “See? This isn’t so bad, right?”

You try to bite back the beam tugging at your lips. This kind of love makes you feel like a teenager again — heart singing like it’s never been stung before. 

“I mean, yeah, but Steve and Robin are watching us through the blinds,” you tell him as a laugh sputters from your lips. 

You can tell they’re trying to be discreet, but their eyes showing through the slats — at two varying heights — are a dead giveaway. It took the two of them ages to get you and Eddie together, so you’re not entirely surprised by their snooping. They’re nothing if not your biggest cheerleaders. Even if it does make them a couple of creeps sometimes.

Eddie doesn’t bother to look over his shoulder at them. He just tilts his chin up at you and smiles with all his teeth. “Wanna give ‘em a show?”

You smile. Then press your tingling lips to the cold skin of his rosy cheek. 

You know that isn’t exactly what he was asking for, so his plea for another doesn’t surprise you.

“One more?” he wonders quietly, chocolate eyes glimmering with boyish hope.

Happily, you lean in for another peck to his cheek. He turns his head at the very last second and smacks a proper kiss to your mouth.

You pull back, face agape with shock, like he’s never kissed you before. “Eddie!” you gasp.

His doe eyes sparkle with feigned innocence. “What?”

“You’re incorrigible,” you insist and settle further into him.

His contented sigh brushes your temple when you rest your head against him. His ringed fingers give your sides a squeeze. “That’s a real big word, sweetheart. Means you like me, right?”

You let yourself smile wide. He can’t see how lovesick you are from this angle, or else he’d know that you do a whole lot more than just like him. “Yeah, Eds. That’s exactly what it means.”

[kasiers]

a/n: my october spooky szn contribution

haunted houses with satoru would be chaotic in the best and worst ways.

you knew the moment he suggested that you both hit up one of the biggest haunted houses in town, a smug grin already formed on his lips. after all, satoru did think it would be hilarious to see how you’d react. 

as you both approach the entrance, you feel the eerie vibe instantly. fog billows out from the doorway, and creepy music is playing from hidden speakers. the sound of distant screams echoes through the air. you glance at your boyfriend, who’s looking down at you, wrapped around his arm, eyes glinting with excitement. 

"you’re not scared, are you?" satoru teases, which promptly makes you lightly smack his arm.

"oh hush it, not even close," you shot back. although the ominous groans from inside the house made you slightly doubt your words.

as soon as you stepped inside, the lights flickered, and a creepy clown jumped out from behind a curtain. you flinch and jump back, tightening the hold on satoru’s arm for support. he just laughed, completely unfazed, though he’d be lying if he said he didn’t jump back himself.

sure enough, you both kept going and a grotesque figure lunged at you from behind a door. this time, you manage to keep your cool, but satoru slightly flinches— a tiny movement that you definitely notice.

"hm? what was that?" you hum, raising an eyebrow.

he scoffs, waving it off like nothing happened. "please, nothing can scare me, there was a fly."

you roll your eyes, knowing better. he underestimates the haunted house, thinking he's above getting startled. but as you make your way deeper, the rooms get darker, the sounds creepier, and the tension starts to build.

as you both move forward, you enter a narrow hallway with mirrors on both sides. the reflections are distorted, adding to the confusion. satoru walks ahead, confident, until a hand reaches out from one of the mirrors.

"holy shi—!" he jerks back, eyes wide in shock. for the first time, you see actual fear flash across his face.

you burst into laughter, ignoring your own fears now as you clutch your stomach. "oh, so nothing can scare you, huh?"

"that... that doesn't count," he huffs, trying to regain his composure, but his cheeks are slightly pink, his pride clearly taking a hit.

the haunted house only gets worse from there. in one room, animatronics start to malfunction, moving erratically and making strange noises. your boyfriend nudges you ahead, insisting you lead the way, though he claims it's because he's "letting you have the spotlight." but when an actor covered in blood jumps out of a coffin with a blood-curdling scream, he’s the one who yells.

"not a word," he says quickly, glaring at you when you give him a smug look.

then, you reach the grand finale. a pitch-black room where eerie whispers fill the air. you can't see a thing, and every sound makes your heart race. you feel satoru shift closer, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. you glance up at him, surprised, but he looks dead serious.

"what?" he mutters. "i wouldn’t want them jumping at you."

suddenly, something brushes against your leg, and both of you freeze. a gust of cold air whooshes past, and his grip tightens. "wh… what the hell was that?" he stutters, his voice a little higher pitched than usual.

you snort, trying to hold in your laughter. "you’re scared!"

"i am not!" but he’s looking around like he’s expecting a ghost to pop out at any second.

just when you think you’re in the clear, a deafening scream erupts from the shadows, and this time, satoru practically jumps out of his skin as he screams out yet again. he grabs your hand and pulls you forward in a hurry, not even bothering to hide his panic.

by the time you stumble out of the exit, both of you are breathless. you bent over, hands on your knees as laughter bubbles up uncontrollably.

“satoru you…” you gasp, pointing at him. “you yelled louder than the ghost!”

the young man straightens himself, running a hand through his white locks as if to shake off the embarrassment, but his cheeks are flushed. not from fear, obviously, but from the totally unexpected jump scares. he shoots you a glare, “did not!”

you raise an eyebrow, still laughing. “did not? satoru, the scare actor looked confused because you screamed louder than they did!”

he rolls his eyes, pulling you closer as the two of you walk away from the haunted house. “next time, we’re goin’ to have to go trick or treating. no jump scares. just pumpkins and candy.”

you laugh again, nudging him playfully. “i’ll make sure to bring earplugs in case you start thinking the parents giving out candies are scare actors. 

he groans, but pulls you closer, “you’re lucky you’re cute, or i’d definitely throw you back into that haunted house.”

[klausysworld]

hey you can write something where klaus loves y/n and although their feelings are obvious they are not together, and one day a witch attacks him and leaves him very weak and when his brothers want to take care of him he refuses and only wants y/n to take care of him and take advantage her situation to be closer to her.

Please kiss me better

I had 4 missed calls from Elijah, 3 from Kol and 7 from Rebekah. My heart began to race as i immediately ran towards the Mikaelsons as fast as my legs would go. That many missed calls only ever happened when something really bad happened.

I burst through the front door and scrambled ip the stairs taking two step at a time before scrambling into Klaus’ room without a second thought. The second i stepped foot inside all eyes were on me. Elijah with a slightly surprised expression, Kol who looked arrogant as usual and Rebekah who smiled and waved. Then i looked to Klaus and my eyes widened. He lay weakly on top his bed, a layer of sweat coating his body, his face drained of colour except for his red eyes that carried dark bag’s beneath them.

“Oh my god” i whispered as i hurried over to his side, his lips twitched upward slightly before his brows furrowed together and he groaned in pain

“What- what happened to him??” I questioned, my head whipping round to the siblings who all had a certain look on their faces that I couldn’t make out.

“Witches, they seemed to have..tortured him of sorts and left an on going affect on his body to leave him writhing in pain even after their deaths” Elijah explained as he neared us. I looked back to Klaus and took his hand gently and sat on the edge of the bed next to him

“Can’t you give him some blood or something? Why are none of you tending to him?” I asked becoming annoyed by their strange stares and silence

“He only wanted you, wouldn’t let any of us help him” Kol said while skipping on over.

“Didn’t you Nikky? Wanted y/n to hold you hand and count to 10 while you take some deep breaths” he cooed mockingly, i could see the rage in Klaus’ eyes as he attempted to move only to squeeze to my hand tightly as his expression was over taken in pain again. Kol reached his hand over to boop his nose making me smack his wrist harshly, he hissed and each of the sibling looked at me shocked

“That was mean” Kol whined

“Out, all of you, if you’re not here to be helpful then out” i pointed to the door. Rebekah looked thoroughly amused as they all one by one left the room, the door clicking shut behind them before i turned back to Klaus. He had the tiniest of smirks on his face as i frowned at him

“What did they do to you?” I asked quietly, my hands cupping his face, his skin was boiling and i quickly retracted my hand, a small whine sounding from his throat in response but he blushed straight after so i didn’t comment on it.

I quickly went off to his bathroom, grabbing a flannel and soaking it in cold water before hurrying back over to his weak state. His eyes drooped as i let the freezing material rest against his burning skin. I dabbed it over her cheeks gently before leaving it against his forehead.

“Are you thirsty?” I asked softly, his eyes opened back up to look at me as his hand moved to hold mine, i smiled at him as i gently squeezed his hand and sat back down with him. I pulled his arm to my lap and fiddled with his fingers, tracing them and holding them. I glanced back to see his eyes on our hands, a certain softness in his eyes that i’d come to love.

His eyes flicked back to mine after a minute and i tilted my head slightly. His lips parted for him to speak but no words came out as his throat ran dry, raspy gasps leaving him as he tried to talk.

“Nik what- oh! Water yeap water” i realised but he shook his head

“Not water… blood?” I question and he nodded slightly. I glanced to my wrist and back at him, he wouldn’t hurt me, probably. Slowly i brought my arm to his face looking at him with a little hesitancy.

His lips pressed my skin a couple times, they were softer than i had imagined and left a tingle in their wake. I wasn’t expecting his tongue to lick along my skin, my eyes widened as a shiver ran through me. His teeth sunk down into my skin almost gently. The feeling of my blood leaving my body was odd. Knowing it was him who was drinking made it better. The experience was no where near as painful as i had expected, he was clearly enjoying himself at i watched his hands move to hold onto my arm, pulling me ontop of him, straddling him. He left out a muffled moan against my skin as he fed. His eyes slowly rose to meet mine as he pulled away and kissed the wounds he left before licking his lips. I could feel the blush spreading across my face as I watched his lips tug back into his regular smirk.

“You taste divine” he rasped making me blush deeper. I cleared my throat and attempted to get off of him but his hands moved to hold my thighs keeping them either side of him.

“Klaus-“

“You gotta take care of me love” he cut me off with a smug smile

“I can’t do that if I’m sat on you” i mumbled

“Nonsense you’re already making me feel better”

“I liked you better when you were unable to talk” I muttered as i took the cloth from his head and dapped it over his skin listening to him hum in satisfaction.

“At least you’re not as hot as you were earlier” i murmured with the back of my hand against his forehead

“I think you’ll find i get hotter by the second love” he grinned, yep he was definitely feeling better

“I thought you were sick?” I questioned “i suppose if you’re all better i can go on home” immediately his hands were pulling me down so i was lead ontop of him as he groaned dramatically

“Noo it hurts love, it hurts” he cried while caging me to him as i laughed.

“Where does it hurt? Would you like me to kiss it all better?” I asked mockingly but his smirk only broadened

“Mm I’m not sure if you’re up for kissing me where i need it” he purred as my face grew hot.

“I highly doubt you’re hurt there” I muttered as he pouted

“How would you know unless you check?”

I rolled my eyes in response and pushed myself off of him and sat next to him on his bed

“You were sweet when you couldn’t move” i complained

“I am very sweet, charming even” he argued

“Who ever told you that?” I asked

“Many many people” he assured

“Mhm sure”

“Love?” He called as i wondered back into the bathroom to get rid of the flannel

“Yeah?” I yelled back

“I need you” he called and i huffed as i came back to find him sat up but clearly still weak despite his confidence. His arms gave out as he tried to push himself up further making me hurry back over to him. I helped prop him up with pillows as he slumped back down, his head fell to my shoulder while his breathing grew heavier

“You need to rest” i told him and he nodded weakly

“Okay” he whispered, his body limp against me as i cupped his cheek in my hand. I shifted him back to lay down comfortably and pulled a blanket over him

“I don’t want to sleep in my jeans” he mumbled and i gave him a look

“I am not changing you”

“What if i say please?”

“No”

“I will give you whatever you like love, if you would please help me be more comfortable so that I don’t have to writhe in pain in my own bed” his lips fell into a pout and his eyes became rounder like a puppys would as he looked at me.

“Fine. But I’m telling Kol about this” I muttered as i pulled the blanket off him and undid the button on the jeans

“You absolutely will not” his face looked almost scared as he stared back at me

“Just sit still” i mumbled as he shuffled beneath me

“Klaus i swear to god- just behave!” He froze under the command and looked to me with raised brows

“Didn’t take you for the type love” he uttered with a large grin as i pulled his trousers down his legs and folded them before putting them on the chair next to the foot of the bed. I made no comment as i looked back to him blankly

“My shirt too love” he smiled and i sighed as i moved back up and pulled it over her head leaving him in only his boxers. I couldn’t help but glance down only to end up staring as I noticed how big it was. He was very clearly hard and the thin material allowed me to see the outlines of the veins that climbed up his length. I looked back to him seeing his smug face

“Please kiss me better” he murmured his eyes darkening

“Just go to sleep” i told him while pulling the blanket up his body to cover him and turned h the lamp off before making my way over to the door

“You’re leaving me?” He asked a little quieter than earlier

“You just need to sleep and you’ll be fine”

“But…i still need you to stay, what if i wake up and I’m burning up again?” He questioned and i smiled to myself before getting into the bed with him

“Fine but just because you’re ill” I muttered, his body rolled so his head was on my chest, his face nuzzling my breasts

“Klaus-“

“It’s comfy” he mumbled

“I don’t like you” i huffed

“You love me” he yawned

“Mhm”

[thera-daydreams]

SCARLET & SHADOW

ᱬ The Darkling x Scarlet Witch!Reader ᱬ

[aleksander morozova x wanda maximoff!reader]

series masterlist & synopsis • thera's masterlist

chapter one.

▪︎ once upon a dream ▪︎

Aleksander had dreams of you long before he even knew you. Maybe it was the stress of this neverending war. Either way, you weren't real anyway... were you?

warnings: the darkling himself is a warning lol, mentions of experimentation, violence, and wallowing in self-regret, no beta we die like wanda

word count: 3.9k

(author's note: yay! finally, after weeks of debating if i should write this, i did. and i can finally sleep in peace.)

Dreams.

He's been having some immensely strange dreams lately. There was always a... woman whose face he could never see. Aleksander had started seeing her in his dreams about a year ago.

It had all been so blurry at first, but he could recall a woman in what seemed to be like a cage encased in clear glass. Her back was turned to where he was, but her hands were covered in unworldly, crimson... vapor... or whatever it was. It was unlike anything he's ever seen before. The woman had been using the red mist to lift wooden blocks into the air. Vaguely, he also heard whispers of men with foreign accents speaking, as if he were beside them but not.

"The dead will be buried so deep their ghosts won't be able to find them."

"And the survivors?"

"The twins." The voice sounded gleeful. Proud. "Sooner or later they will meet the twins."

"It's not a world of spies anymore. Not even a world of heroes. This is the age of miracles, doctor."

Aleksander did not understand the context of these dreams at all. However, he listened, watching the faceless woman make the wooden blocks hover in the air.

"And there is nothing more horrifying... than a miracle."

Snap!

That was his first dream about her. He woke up with a start after that, not feeling like himself the whole day. As if he were in some sort of daze.

The next dream came again weeks later. The Darkling could never see the woman's face. This time, he heard screaming in his dreams. Crying. Devastation. All he saw that night was a burst of crimson energy which had obliterated metal. Moving metal.

The woman was kneeling at the center of some sort of dilapidated chapel, clutching her heart as she sobbed. Then, he woke up again. This time, he felt a bottomless emptiness within him that lasted until the next evening.

"Strange dreams," Aleksander thinks, but still, thinks nothing of it. Perhaps it was his imagination running wild lately due to the stress of the war. The dreams would come and go. Sometimes, there was nothing. Other times, it was the usual nightmares of his... eventful past. Occasionally, the faceless woman would be there in his dreams.

On the first day snow fell that year, the Shadow Summoner sees her in his dreams again. Sitting in a bedroom, silent and pondering. One moment later, she was sitting in what seemed like a metal cell, straitjacketed, unmoving. The more he had these dreams of her, the more curious Aleksander grew about what the woman looked like. These were supposed to be only dreams, yet, it was always her.

Were these truly just dreams?

Eventually, the dreams become nightmares. Not his typical nightmares, either.

He was starting to hear whispers of what nearly seemed like Old Ravkan, but not. He saw the woman surrounded by mirrors and sharp glass, with more blood, death, and gore. Screams of a hundred souls. Fire burning. The smell of ash. The cracking and snapping of bones.

The last that he saw of her at night was in what seemed like a strange, old tomb atop a mountain.

Aleksander saw a stone statue of a woman—a goddess, maybe—with a pointed crown. Seconds later, he saw that very tomb crushed into a landslide. A blizzard. So much snow.

That night, the Black Heretic woke up cold and freezing despite the fireplace burning strong.

After that, the dreams and nightmares of the unknown woman stopped completely. And he'd nearly forgotten about it all. Tired from reading another list of his newly-deceased soldiers up in Ulensk, the man decided to take a stroll in the gardens of his Little Palace.

ᱬᗢᱬ

"No more magic." That was what you had sworn to yourself after the millennia you had spent searching for and destroying every copy of the Darkhold in the Multiverse. It was an incredibly wearisome task to track them all down, but you despised yourself for falling for the temptations of the Book of the Damned.

What have you done?

Not a day passes when you don't ask yourself the question, plagued by the guilt of your sins to the Multiverse. Ultimately, you accepted the fact that as the Scarlet Witch, you were maybe meant to be alone. Fated for eternal solitude until Death finally decides it is time to end your life again.

"I should have stayed dead in the Snap," you chuckle humorlessly. Maybe you would have been happier. But from experience, being snapped was no afterlife. You did not see them. Your parents, Pietro, Vision, Billy, and Tommy. You could only remember the fresh, hot rage you felt at Vision's murder just for the Snap. There was no peace.

Not for you, maybe.

The last world that had a Darkhold was... quite interesting, to say the least. It was not as advanced as your world, Earth-616, but not too primitive, either. It could be likened to the 19th to the 20th century in your original planet, with all its horses, carriages, wooden ships, and steam trains. Very... Industrial Era, you described when you initially arrived. Good enough to survive for, hopefully, the few remaining years of your life.

What was interesting, however, was the specific land you found yourself in. Ravka.

It was something literally out of Czarist Russia, long before the Soviet Union was formed. It led you to thoughts of your late best friend and mentor, Natasha Romanoff... then the World Wars... then Steve Rogers... SHIELD... which led you to spiral into quite unpleasant memories of experiments with HYDRA and consequently, Ultron and Sokovia. Lagos. Westview. Kamar-Taj. Earth-838 and the Illuminati—

You stopped that sickening train of thought quickly.

Still, you found it half-amusing and half-disappointing that even universes away, war and politics were unavoidable. Ravka appeared to not be on very good terms with its northern and southern neighbors, Fjerda and Shu Han, respectively. (The Shu reminded you of China and Mongolia. You wondered if they had Khans there, too. Fjerda, on the other hand, reminded you of Thor, Valkyrie, and a certain God of Mischief.)

Now, one of the biggest reasons why Ravka was at war with Fjerda and Shu Han? People called Grisha, you quickly learned. Kind of like the Enhanced or the Mutants, in your world and other worlds. It was just that they could mainly be divided into different orders and classifications and were usually found serving the Second Army.

Either way, it did not make much of a difference to you. You had met a living tree and a talking raccoon in the fight against Thanos so... yes, not the strangest thing you'd seen in the universe. You didn't really care, but you did feel some empathy for the Grisha oppressed by the otkazat'sya. Ordinary humans.

You knew all too well what it felt like to be different in a world full of regular people.

Unfortunately, Ravka itself was also at civil war between its East and West because of a border practically made of darkness. The Shadow Fold, supposedly created four hundred years ago by a crazy Shadow Summoner titled the Black Heretic. Many prayed for a mythical Sun Summoner to come save them from their plights.

You internally scoffed. You yourself were a myth, the presaged Harbinger of Chaos. The Scarlet Witch, destined to rule or annihilate the cosmos. Maybe you already ruined it. You just hoped that if the Sun Summoner were real, they would be a true saint and do their "destined" good deed.

And a small part of you hoped that they, too, would either escape or fulfill their prophecy. Maybe live a happy life, unlike you did. No one ever thinks that myths and legends could be living, breathing, feeling people, too.

ᱬᗢᱬ

Cut off from your thoughts by two young boys bumping into you, the basket of apples you were holding tumbles to the ground. You were about to scold them when you saw the state they were in.

One of the boys was holding a toddler. A freaking toddler.

All three of them dressed in rags, covered in soot and dirt. Thin and malnourished, nearly shivering from the autumn cold. Your heart almost broke when you saw the small, blonde girl in their arms try to reach out for the fallen apples on the ground.

"Sorry, lady!" The boys shout, turning on their heels to keep running.

"Wait!" You yell after them. "Do you want an apple?!"

That made the boys stop in their tracks. You pick up the apples and carefully place them back in the woven basket you were carrying. They seemed apprehensive on trusting you, so it was you who decided to make the first move.

"Here. Have the entire basket. You kids need it more than I do."

One of the boys, a pale boy with bright blue eyes and curly black hair past his shoulders, hesitantly reaches out to take the basket you were offering. "Thank you... lady..." he mumbles. The other boy holding the girl—looking nearly the opposite of his friend—reassured the fussy toddler in his arms. This boy was tanner, looking as if his hair were kissed by fire itself; eyes the shade of a vibrant forest.

"What are your names?" you gently asked. They share a look, silently communicating, then nod.

"... Henrik," the blue-eyed boy answers quietly, inspecting the basket of apples, still torn on thinking if this was a trick or a rare act of kindness. He seemed more conservative than his friend, who answered in a louder voice.

"I'm Dmitri, lady!" He was more eager to talk after realizing you were no threat to them. He gestures to the tiny girl in his arms, no older than three. "And this is baby Katyusha."

Your heart nearly broke seeing the sleepy toddler carried around by her... brother? You look around. It was getting dark. "Where are your homes? Your parents? It's late for children like you to be out in the evening."

"It's just us, lady," Henrik answers, as if it were normal to not have an adult accompanying them.

You frowned deeper. "Why were you guys running?"

At my question, the boys grow concerned. "Because..." Dmitri begins, before Henrik shushes him. You shake your head.

"No, it's okay. What is it?" You try to encourage.

"The three of us... we are Grisha..." Dmitri whispers the last word, green eyes filled with guilt and fear. Your eyes widened. Including the toddler they were holding? "The townspeople aren't exactly welcoming to our kind, lady. Except you. Weirdly enough."

Henrik, the quiet one with blue eyes, sighs. "I'm a Tidemaker. I think. Dmitri here can control some fire, so Inferni, if I'm right. Maybe that's why his hair is that red..."

Dmitri snorts. "Whatever."

You almost stammer as you ask, "And Katyusha there?"

"... We think she's a Heartrender. When... she gets angry or hungry or fussy... sometimes, we feel like we can't breathe, whenever she holds us," Henrik explains, gazing at the tiny little girl, who looked ever innocent and adorable.

"Where are your parents?" you ask carefully. You prayed to the gods, the saints, and the fates that these children had grown-ups to look after them. Unlikely, though, based on how they looked.

Dmitri shook his head, "My mom worked at a brothel but died from tuberculosis. I then lived on the streets after that. Henrik was left on somebody's doorstep. And Katyusha... we found her in a garbage can. The three of us used to live together in a hut east of the chapel but... um, the storm last week..." He trailed off.

Three young Grisha orphans.

No family. No shelter. No food. You stared at the three of them, voices inside you urging you to be on your way and avoid getting attached to these orphans. To avoid getting attached to people ever again.

But it was too late. You already saw yourself in them.

It was like you and Pietro, once upon a time, long ago.

Sighing, you hold out your arms. You knew you might regret this in the future.

"Give me the little girl. And you boys, follow me," you instruct. They give you questioning looks.

"Huh?"

"You're all coming home with me. To bathe and eat and sleep without fear of being hunted down," you disclose, waiting for Dmitri to hand over Katyusha. The boy was too thin to be carrying around the toddler. "I live in the forest."

"We don't know you, lady," Henrik protests warily, but grips the basket of apples you'd given even tighter. "What if you trick us? Or hurt us?"

"... My name is Wanda. Wanda Maximoff." You hum, smiling genuinely at them. "Now you know me. And from now on, I promise to protect you. You can eat the apples while we walk."

"..."

"It's not poisoned, don't worry." You took a bite out of one, then tossed it to Dmitri. "See?"

ᱬᗢᱬ

Not long after, you had, in fact, confirmed with your very eyes that the three orphans you'd taken in were Grisha. Undeniably so. Dmitri, the eight-year-old redhead, was an Inferni—true to his appearance and loud personality. Henrik, the introverted seven-year-old with jet black curls and icy blue eyes, was a Tidemaker—as he mentioned before.

You wondered what age their abilities began to manifest.

Lastly, two-year-old Katyusha was indeed a... well, baby Heartrender. You learned that the hard way when you tried to leave her alone for a minute to get her some warm milk in the kitchen. The air was knocked out of your lungs for a few brief seconds as she wailed from separation anxiety, gripping your arm like a lifeline.

It nearly shocked you that at such an age, she could do such feats just by touching you.

A year into sheltering and caring for these children as if they were your own, you came to the decision that it would be best if they were not with you—AKA former multiversal threat and retired but still dangerous witch living as a hermit in the woods of Tsibeya.

Which was near Chernast.

And also the Fjerdan border.

That meant a significantly high possibility of drüskelle sighting or finding the kids, even if you did last use your magic to make sure your little cabin would be safe and sound and completely undetectable to any intruders.

The children deserved a better future than staying with someone like you—a Darkhold-reading creature of evil who nearly stole a teenage girl's multiverse-traveling powers and also possessed her alternate self's body to replace her as a mom to her kids.

Die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Were you even ever a hero in the first place?

Plus, you had no idea how Grisha powers really worked.

And as much as you wanted to just fly the kids off to their best chance at a good future in Ravka... or maybe use a teleportation spell, you'd strictly sworn off your Chaos Magic for a good while now. You also didn't want to have to manipulate the memories of the three kids—especially little Katyusha—into making them believe in a fake journey or forgetting you entirely.

So, a good old-fashioned trip to the Little Palace it was.

ᱬᗢᱬ

The trip went well. Sort of. After a few days of painstakingly traveling on foot, you'd finally arrived in Os Alta in one piece.

And so did Dmitri, Henrik, and Katyusha. But there was a slight issue.

"I still can't believe you knocked out that drüskelle by yourself, Aunt Wanda!" Dmitri continues to gush excitedly—as he had for days now ever since the encounter with a lone drüskelle who tried to attack all of you. And yes, the boys had taken to referring to you as Aunt Wanda.

Which was better, somehow. You don't think you'd be able to handle being referred to as... well... that word after what happened with Billy and Tommy.

The problem was little Katyusha who practically imprinted on you as her mother. Her first words—quite late at the age of two—were mama. Directed to you. No one knew that you cried that night in your room.

"You did not even see me do anything, Dmitri. Didn't I tell you to close your eyes?" you sighed, adjusting the sleeping Katyusha in your arms.

"I swear I closed them! But one moment, he was coming towards us then the next, thud! When I open my eyes, he's on the ground in front of you? How'd you do it, Aunty?!" he excitedly squeals.

"Just a very well-timed punch," you reply carefully. A well-timed punch that may or may not have been enhanced with your psionic energy. It still irked you that you had to use your... abilities again. Even if it was not your Chaos Magic.

Still, you would never hesitate to protect this trio. Not after the year you'd grown to love them.

This time, it was soft-spoken Henrik who asked, "What about those two Grisha slavers who tried taking us away in the middle of the night?"

Okay. Perhaps the trip didn't go that smoothly. And that did not pair well with young children who were at the age of being extremely curious about everything in the world.

"Bribed them with some money," you lied. More like using your telepathic powers to manipulate their minds into leaving your traveling group alone.

"... You didn't need to give them your gold and silver for us, Aunt Wanda," Henrik murmurs guiltily. Your steps stopped. Frowning as you crouch down to the boys' level, you ensured Katyusha's head was still supported while you spoke.

"Hey. Boys, listen to me." You wait until they make eye contact. "When I first took you in, I promised that I would protect you. And I would do everything in my power to do that, okay?"

"Aunty, I'm not sure I want to go to the Little Palace," Henrik shares regretfully. Behind him, Dmitri goes quiet, too, having second thoughts as well.

Your brows furrowed as you smile sadly. "But you must. You will be with your kin. The Grisha there can teach you to grow and hone your powers. I cannot as I am only otkazat'sya. Your future lies in the Little Palace." You gaze fondly at the sleeping child in your arms. "Your sister's future lies there, too."

Henrik and Dmitri share a look as you urge them to continue walking. Just a couple more minutes and you would arrive at the gates of the Little Palace. When you were near, that's when you stop.

"Remember what we talked about during the trip? What you have to do when you get to the gates?" You remind them.

The boys nod. You slowly unwrap the cloth on your torso which was carrying tiny, two-year-old Katyusha. Henrik takes her. She momentarily fusses in her sleep, making all of you freeze, but her breathing steadies.

"Tell the oprichniki at the gates that we are Grisha seeking refuge in the Little Palace. Orphans from a small town in Tsibeya," Dmitri repeats the script you guys practiced while traveling.

"And say that we went along with a traveling hunting group until we got to Os Alta, before we journeyed to the Little Palace alone," Henrik adds.

You smile at them, embracing them tightly. "Good. Good. Now off you go. Before it gets dark."

"Will you visit us?" Dmitri asks eagerly. You hum in thought.

"Perhaps. I'll try, you two. But it could be years until I see you all again. You might be all grown up the next time we see each other," you answer him honestly. You weren't sure if the Little Palace allowed visitors to the Grisha kids like it was a daycare.

They nod, disappointed, but slowly go. You stand up from where you were crouched, a familiar feeling of these children slipping through your fingers, too. The same way your twin sons did, once.

Then, Henrik paused, turning around. "Aunty?" he calls.

"Yes, Henrik?" You tilt your head curiously.

"Thank you for being our mom!" the usually quiet boy shouts, warming your heart. It has only been a year since you took them off the streets and adopted them, but you were already attached.

Too attached.

Which never ended well for you or the other person, based on experience.

You watch them as they run to the path leading to the gates of the Little Palace. Then, you lurk for a few more minutes to ensure that they really do manage to enter the Little Palace.

When the oprichniki allow them in, a Grisha appearing and escorting Henrik, Dmitri, and little Katyusha, you breathe a sigh of relief. You were about to leave when—

"What do you mean he quit to become a gardener at the Grand Palace?!" a voice yells from a nearby corner.

"The Queen adored his flower arrangements and offered a larger pay!" another countered defensively. "Hell, I'd take up the offer, too!"

You pause, head turning to listen in more on the conversation.

"He's one of the only gardeners at the Little Palace who could do his job right, dammit!"

Looks like an interesting job opening.

It was a bad idea. A terrible idea, even. You should just go back to your cabin in the woods, living the remainder of your life in solitude. The children would be fine in the Little Palace, amongst their other fellow Grisha.

That was what the rational side of you said. But you always did have a tendency to be swept away by your emotions.

Survival rates also weren't that pleasant when Grisha children would be obligated to serve in the Second Army.

Listening to the arguing men, perhaps this is where your green thumb could step in.

You really should have listened to your instincts.

Just three months later, you start to feel a set of curious eyes watching you as you crouched and plucked stubborn, overgrown weeds from the dirt.

Your insides were on overdrive, sending off alarm bells. You worked in the secluded portions of the Little Palace garden, the ones harder to maintain daily, so no one usually came where you were stationed. Pausing, you slowly turn around to see obsidian eyes—so, so dark you couldn't distinguish the pupil from the iris, akin to a bottomless pit of starless night.

And you freeze.

The Black General of Ravka was right behind you.

Snapping out of your stupor, you hastily stand and bow.

"Moi soverenyi," you address him politely, avoiding his eyes. Of all people—of all Grisha to notice you—it was the infamous Shadow Summoner himself.

General Kirigan of the Second Army.

You've only heard stories about him since you arrived in this world. Ruthless. Powerful. A Shadow Summoner. The strongest Grisha currently alive. Descendant of the Black Heretic. And you never even thought you'd be speaking to him face-to-face ever.

Why would you? You weren't even from this world.

"Huh. I was not made aware we had a new gardener," he muses out loud, examining you from head-to-toe, dressed in light garbs similar to the other servants, only modified for greater mobility.

You seemed awfully familiar to him. He just couldn't place his finger on it.

Meanwhile, you tried your best to seem like any other unassuming otkazat'sya servant. It was tempting to just read his thoughts given how he was scrutinizing you but no, you resisted.

"What's your name, girl?" General Kirigan asks. And you inwardly cuss—so much for a low profile—yet your face was perfectly neutral.

"Wanda, sir."

"Surname?" He raises one fine brow.

"... Maximoff, sir."

"Wanda Maximoff." He combines the two names. The dark-haired man stares longer. It took all your willpower not to squirm and be suspicious. Then, he nods and continues on his way.

The moment he was out of sight, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You were the all-powerful Scarlet Witch. Or, rather, formerly the Scarlet Witch.

So why did this man unnerve you the way he did just now?

next chapter

Hearts, reblogs, comments, interactions, and constructive criticism are very much appreciated! If you wanna be tagged in the upcoming chapters, comment here or on the series masterlist post.

Thanks! ♡

[kidasthings]

Echoes of Eden by Kida

Noa x Mae - #thatcampfireisnttheonlyslowburn

Chapter 2: https://www.tumblr.com/kidasthings/750737651564478464/echoes-of-eden-by-kida

Next Chapter: https://www.tumblr.com/kidasthings/751482584388829184/echoes-of-eden-by-kida?source=share

Chapter 3

They didn’t make it back to the village that night.

The small group of apes and the single human amongst them decided to set up camp before proceeding further into the midnight woods. The apes were tired; they had traveled many hours by foot, had a rather tense, life-threatening confrontation, and found the return trip too arduous to complete overnight.

The navy sky was littered with a splatter of stars, each winking in and out like fireflies. The group stopped at a tree-lined grove, the symphony of crickets and frogs serenading the night world. A breeze stirred the fingers of the trees overhead and leaves whispered secrets.

Noa gave the signal to stop, a welcome relief to Anaya. The poor ape was still shaken from the encounter with the Fort Wayne five and wanted time to recuperate. Soona gave a long, contemplative stare at Noa before her dark eyes darted to Mae with an equally dark look. Mae had trailed behind, following the simians like a sad shadow. The whole affair gave her a flashback to the time she spent on the heels of Raka and Noa before they had ascertained her intelligence to be that of more than a mere animal.

And now the creatures she considered beasts once-upon-a-time began to nest, gathering sticks and branches from the forest floor to create a few widely-spaced fires. Mae found Noa offset from the others, throwing dry tinder into a cluster as if he were waiting for her.

For a moment, she was brought back to the far-flung moment when he first gave her the blue blanket as she hovered, freezing, as close as she dared to a fire attended by a strange orangutan and distrustful chimp.

Raka.

She allowed herself to feel a bright burst of pain, sharp as a supernova, and then suppressed it. It was her fault he was swept away, after all.

He wouldn’t be gone if Sylva hadn’t been searching for her.

He wouldn’t be gone if she had found them another route besides that old bridge.

And he most certainly wouldn’t be gone if he hadn’t tried to save her life.

Yes, Raka’s death was on her. Two years ago, she would have said good riddance. One less ape on this planet was one more chance at humanity regaining a foothold within it.

And now? She felt nothing but regret she would never, ever admit to. Her fingers drifted upwards, their calloused tips running over the embossed pendant still hanging over her neck.

Noa looked up then, his gaze catching on the placement of her fingers over the necklace against her heart.

“Cold?” he inquired gruffly.

Fighting back another memory, Mae just nodded silently. She crept closer to the campfire, just as Noa ignited it in a burst of hungry flame.

“Why are you … traveling back with us?” he asked nonchalantly, as if he were only discussing the weather with an acquaintaince. There was a stick in one of his long-fingered hands, and he used it to stoke the fire and send up a spray of sparks.

“We need to talk,” she told him, settling down in a cross-legged position nearby. Noa leaned against a tree, not too far away, but Mae still felt there were miles between them.

Probably for the best.

“About?”

Staring stonily at the flickering light before her, Mae swallowed thickly. “I’d like you to let me look through their supplies.” Her eyes slid sideways in their sockets, assessing his reaction carefully.

Noa stilled. A few seconds skated by, and then he snapped the stick he was using as a poker in two and threw both halves into the fire. “I can’t do that.”

“It doesn’t belong to you.”

It didn’t belong to the apes. The same old, tired argument between them.

“Will you ever trust anyone?” Noa asked suddenly, sharply. His stare could cut glass.

Mae jerked her head up, jaw tense at the reprimand. She gritted her teeth, then jerked her head sideways and shuttered her eyes. “It’s not that kind of world that we live in.”

“It could be.” His voice is horrifyingly gentle.

Mae returned her attention to him again, the bright highlights in her wide, blue eyes jittering. The reflection of the fire danced on her face, creating an intense interplay of light and shadow.

“Raka…”

“Raka is dead,” she drilled back, cutting Noa off.

He nodded quietly, agreeing on that number. His light eyes were distant, a glazed look on his furred face. She hated seeing it that way.

“Please, let me look through the things you confiscated from them.”

“Why, Mae?” Noa’s features were calm, serene even, but his voice contained a dangerous edge. She caught a rustle of fur and realized he had stood up. He prowled closer, leaving her to crane her head back as he loomed over her. “What is so … important to you, to them?” His voice had something like heat in it, a nearly seductive slant she had never heard from him before.

She was imagining things. Certainly he wouldn’t…

The brunette found she couldn’t trust her own body’s responses. Her heart sped up, pounding in her ears, and she broke out in goosebumps as he stooped before her and crossed his arms so that his palms rested off his knees. He was so close she could probably breathe him in if she wanted to.

The two watched each other, spellbound, and then the dark downward slash of his mouth kicked up a little. “Well?”

“I think..” she began, completely at a loss of what to think. She could see the erratic pattern at the center of his iris this close, the burst of amber that bled into green. His eyes were really beautiful; the thought shattered her focus entirely.

Sputtering nonsensical noise, she scuttled backward on unsteady hands. “It’s nothing to you, trust me. It’s important to us.”

You. Us.

Other.

Noa grimaced. “Always back to that,” he sighed wistfully, turning his head back to regard the fire in moody contemplation. He seemed to mull over his next words, and then he spoke up when he was ready. “I will … make a deal with you.”

Mae forgot her unease for a moment and leaned closer, the damp soil shifting beneath her. “Yes?”

“You can look through … their things…”

Mae visibly brightened, an eager look painting her features.

“But…”

The hopeful expression vanished. “But what?”

“You cannot take anything. You will be … watched.” With a soft grunt, Noa moved back to his prior spot next to the fire.

Mae struggled to speak, and it took her three tries before she could formulate something coherent. “That won’t work. I need it!”

“Explain,” Noa retorted, exhaustion creeping into his rough tone. He seemed weary of the same, circular arguments.

“It’s...” Mae gave into an attempt to make him understand in a context he could comprehend. Noa was intelligent, yes, but he hadn’t been exposed to human technology, much less trained on it, like she had been. “We were expecting them.”

“We?”

“There are others like me. Sort of.” Mae made a frustrated motion with her hands, wringing them before her. “We made contact with that group and they travelled here to find us. They have something that will help us.”

Noa shot her a startled look over the tops of the licking flames. “How will it … help you?”

This is where Mae grew mute. She could not possibly verbalize the very thing that would not be beneficial to Noa. Instead, she took up a cross-legged position again and basked in the bobbing heat of the fire. “We used to be intelligent. We could speak. All of us.”

Noa blinked. “We came across books … in the vault,” he began slowly, like she might spook. “There were symbols in them. Ape..” He touched his chest, then pointed to her with two fingers and an extended arm. “Echo.”

Mae nodded encouragingly.

“The apes were trapped. Echoes watched the trapped … apes.” A gusty sigh followed and he shook his head, trying to dismiss the recollection of that time in that damnable metal hell hole. “No paradise … for apes.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Mae agreed, brooking no argument.

Noa scowled into the fire, and then shifted closer to Mae. “Echoes kept apes in pens.”

“You were like the humans are now, back then,” the woman provided carefully. “Something terrible happened and we became like animals. We deserve to reclaim our technology, our things, our lives..”

Our place.

“Will the things those humans came with … help you do that?” Noa queried, ever observant. “Will you find an … answer in their supplies?”

“A solution to help us, yes.” Mae grew quiet. It was no solution that would benefit Noa, but he did not need to know that just yet.

“How should I trust you and yours … not to harm us?” Now that the tables were turned, Mae found she had no answer. She watched him gloomily, her eyes narrowed. He came closer again, the long digits of his hand reaching for the pendant around her neck. “Caesar would want peace, so Raka would say.” Noa’s eyes burned holes into the diamond-star symbol of the pendant as he turned it thoughtfully with his hand.

Unbidden, Mae’s hand reached up and encircled his across the back of his hairy knuckles. They remained like that, her cross-legged before the fire with Noa leaning all of his weight on the closed fist of one arm while the other held Caesar’s medallion.

Her touch burned.

Their eyes met over the length of the chain, and once again neither could look away.

“Promise me,” he entreated huskily, his eyes darting desperately over her too-human face. “Promise me you will … look, not take.”

Mae wasn’t even sure what they were talking about anymore. She found herself giving in all-too-easily.

“I promise only to look,” she affirmed, lips half-parted in wonder. Breathing became a difficult thing.

Noa nodded slowly, an incline of his head. He seemed mollified, if partially, and leaned closer still as Mae trembled. He was so close, he could --

“Noa?” a female voice cut the moment like a sharp knife, cleaving it in two.

Two pairs of heads swept sideways to take in the unexpected speaker. Mae broke away first, pushing herself backward while a bright red bloom stained her cheeks.

Noa was less reactive. He gave the human woman a long, telling look before dropping into a crouch and turning to Soona. “Yes?”

“Would you like to join us … at our fire?” the female ape asked. “Anaya has finally fallen asleep.” Notably, her invitation only seemed to be extended to Noa. She did not look once in Mae’s direction.

Noa seemed to turn it over in his mind, examining all angles. Mae dropped her gaze and concentrated on the fire instead, shifting her expression into careful lines.

“No, not now,” she heard Noa tell Soona with no small measure of finality.

There was a poignant quiet, and then Soona must have acknowledged him through sign or a nod; Mae heard the female ape move off, the dead leaves crackling beneath her feet before fading away entirely.

“Mae,” Noa said simply.

She glanced up at the sound of her name.

“We have a deal.”

Mae pursed her lips, watching Noa's inscrutable face for a small eternity before she gave a lift of her chin.

Raka might be gone, but perhaps his influence wasn’t.

[cinnamonest]

how do you think goro would feel about a childhood friend!darling?

Goro Akechi has a lot of hate in that heart of his, but other than the man he hates more than anything, there are two other things he hates the most: lack of control, and vulnerability.

He needs control over situations, over people, and when he can manage it, over the course of fate itself. The Metaverse and years of hard effort into a public persona he wears so flawlessly have granted him the sort of control he desires, for the most part.

He hates to be vulnerable, hates his own weaknesses, hates them being perceived by others.

You present both.

It’s been a long time since you’ve seen him. Really, up until the point you saw his name on screen one day, you admittedly remembered him as ‘that sad boy at school I was nice to when we were little,’ and your memories of him had all but faded into the background of your life, never thinking of him much after that until he pops back into your life.

At first, you think it can’t be the same person, surely. At least until the familiar — albeit aged a bit older than in your memories — face comes on the screen. It feels quite surreal. A drastic shift from the little boy you remember angrily sulking on the playground all by himself away from the other kids, whom you admittedly talked to mostly out of pity. Still, you felt like you bonded in the end, before he got whisked away when the relatives fostering him decided to dump him off onto someone else, thus forcing him to transfer schools.

You’re happy for him. He looks very happy now, you think, his situation must have improved. He’s even living in the city now apparently, just like you.

The positive coincidences stack atop each other when you actually get to see him.

Completely by chance, not seeking him out or anything, you just so happen to be walking home on an uncrowded street, and he just so happened to be coming back from a hit, now as normalized and mundane to him as any other work-related task — and you just so happen to meet right as you each turn a corner, perfectly scenic, as if ordained by fate.

And while Goro Akechi has spent a very long time by now perfecting the art of composure, what he sees takes him so far aback that even he lets the mask momentarily slip — completely freezing up, slack-jawed and stiff with shock and disbelief. There’s a moment where only silence passes, he looks at you like he’s seeing a ghost, an expression almost like horror managing to escape his automatic efforts to keep a straight face.

You don’t notice that part. You’re too caught up in the surprise and elation, gasping and smiling and rambling on about what a coincidence it is, and—

Do you remember me…?

The shock only lasts a split second. The composure is back, the mask pushed back into place, and with practiced mastery of charm, he bounces back near instantly.

Even in spite of the sudden onslaught of emotions and memories that feels like his very soul is being stabbed at, he manages to keep up the usual Prince-Charming act of his. Says the lines expected of him, so standard you could probably guess them before they come out of his mouth — wow, long time no see, what a coincidence, it’s good to see you, how have you been, all the generic phrases and lines one should say, just like the ones you provide in return. A back-and-forth dialogue predetermined by conventions and standards of normalcy and expectation as composed by a given social framework in which all humans live. You do mention that you’ve seen him on TV — for some reason, it makes his stomach feel like its twisting, but he gives you a humble-sounding reply all the same.

All as his heart pounds so heavily it feels like it’s going to burst though is chest. Adrenaline surges thought his veins and every nerve on his body feels like it’s frozen over, an ice-cold chill that runs through his blood, a ringing in his ears, even a lightheadedness that begins to take hold, his entire body reacting in shock and panic.

You fetch a piece of paper from your bag, scribble something down, hand it over to him — his own hand moves reflexively, as if out of his control, to take it. A series of numbers — oh. Your contact. You’re smiling now, saying something about how you would love to catch up sometime. Your voice sounds far away, his head feels like it’s spinning, but he still manages his signature soft smile and voice as he gives you yet another generic reply.

Sure, that would be wonderful.

A few more lines back-and-forth that he doesn’t even remember by the end of the day, his brain essentially giving replies on an auto-pilot means of conversation. He manages to make some excuse about work, churns out a farewell, briskly walks off with a noticeably deliberate fast pace.

You feel a little embarrassed, as you walk home. He seemed in a hurry to end the conversation. Perhaps it was presumptuous to give him a contact. He probably couldn’t care less. He’s a big, important person now, someone like that has no time for someone like yourself.

…

Your suspicions are more or less validated. He doesn’t contact you.

In fact, from the moment he gets home that day, he tries to forget the interaction entirely.

There’s multiple reasons why. For one, you present a potential obstacle, a burden, a risk. He can’t afford to have you complicating things, getting in his way. It takes some time for his heart to stop racing, and that alone irritates him — why do you get to have such a reaction from him, beyond his control?

Moreover, the emotions that hit him when he saw you were too much. Dangerously intense, something he can’t allow to weigh on him, doesn’t have the time to focus on.

To be frank, those emotions were largely negative anyway. The mere sight of your face stirs up all sorts of memories from that era of his life, most of which were deeply unpleasant. There’s a deep-rooted bitterness that rises up in his stomach, old emotions he’s worked so long to suppress, and you came and dug them up in just a few brief minutes. In truth, he thought about you very often back then — he never really got to say goodbye to you (even if, he often bitterly thought, you never cared that much about him anyway), and he had to force himself to forget you over time, and yet you’ve come and undone his efforts.

And finally — the thought of you makes him feel a new emotion, one he does not like. Something like anxiousness, fear, and in turn, anger at himself and you alike for inducing such a feeling. You stand as a sort of weakness, a single unstable factor in a world where he feels like he has some degree of a grasp of control on nearly everything — you feel uncertain, unsteady, out of his reach… no, it’s not just that. You feel unsafe. You have knowledge and memories of him that no one else does, you have seen him at his weakest, and that makes him feel far more vulnerable then he can stand.

And yet, he saves your number to his phone all the same. Lets it sit there.

Most of the time, it’s easy to ignore. He is a busy person, he can keep himself distracted. Sometimes, though, in the odd hours of the night when his emotions are at their peak, he types a message, two, a dozen, he loses count — only to shake his head and come to his senses, huffing in frustration and holding the backspace down until it’s all deleted, cursing himself internally for even coming close to doing something so foolish.

You keep coming up in his thoughts, an emotion he can’t pretend is anything but yearning feels like a knot in his chest, yet the very thought of you makes him feel sick to his stomach. The conflict between the emotions is unbearable, makes him lose sleep, makes him lose focus.

You who knew him when he was this quiet, sullen, embittered child — you were nice to him, one of the only people who showed him genuine kindness back then — you who certainly knows that the charming act in front of the cameras is merely that, an act, a mask, a lie. It feels as if playing a game with one’s own cards facing outwards towards the opponent, completely exposed, laid bare. The act can’t work on you when you know what he’s really like, know his pains and vulnerabilities, have the potential to strike at the weakest parts of him.

Nor do you fall under his realm of control. The means he has for control relies on his ability to enforce it — means to kill and ruin lives. What he wants from you, though — at least, what he wanted from you back then, he won’t let himself even consider the matter now — falls entirely out of the realm of how he likes to control people, the usual purpose for which he desires the manipulation of others — power, advancement in his goals, to snake his way inside to strike.

It's all confusing. Irritating. It's outside the realm of what he has an easy way to manipulate, and that means he's at a disadvantage, that you have an upper hand, and he can't stand for that.

Still, he wonders about you. Every time a camera faces his way, he wonders if you’ll see the filming. When he makes posts to the little page he runs that the fans eat up, he wonders if you visit it too, if you’re one of those thousands of faceless followers. He wonders how often you think about him. He wonders about the day the two of you ran into each other for the first time in so long — did you go home, and look him up online? How long did you spend doing so? What did you read? Did your view of him change, positively, negatively?

And of course, he thinks about you and your life. What have you been up to, since then? Where has your path in life taken you? You probably have friends. You probably have a partner too. You’re someone who always seemed to be loved by others — he still recalls perfectly the burning bitterness in his stomach when he saw your happiness, your family, your friends, the things you had that he did not. How he resented you for it — he still does, even if he tries to tell himself such emotions are childish. Sometimes he almost thinks he hates you, even if in the end he always finds that he can’t.

And worst of all, he finds that the mere thought of you changes how he behaves.

When he’s at a lower-end news outlet interview, he doesn’t put quite as much energy in… until it occurs to him that there’s always a chance you’ll see it, and he finds himself sitting up straighter, putting in more effort into being charming and witty for the camera.

He almost says something in another interview, but it occurs to him that he doesn’t know how you feel on the matter, and he finds himself taking what was originally a strongly-worded response in his head and neutralizing it as much as possible, to avoid upsetting you should you see it and disagree with him. He doesn't even realize it until the words are out of his mouth.

You do that to him. He who has come to think of himself as so far above others, and yet you — some child from long ago who just so happened to find him again and speak to him for no more than a few minutes — influence his actions, you consume his thoughts. You control him, and you don’t even know it, nor did you have any intention to. And even though he recognizes it, even though he tries to put it to rest and forget you entirely, he can’t bring himself to do it, can’t tap the screen to delete the contact.

It’s infuriating. He can’t stand it. The fact that you do what you do to him so effortlessly leaves him seething and stewing in a rage you probably don’t even realize he’s capable of. And that much he’s acutely aware of as well. You know more of the “real” him than anyone else, you saw him in a phase when he was always pouty and melancholic — yet even then, you don’t know the half of it, don’t realize just how much malice and fury rests beneath the calm outward surface, nor how deep it runs.

He’s not a delusional sort, he’s very self-aware, and he knows how ridiculous the thoughts he’s having are — yet he has them anyway. It’s what, three in the morning, and here he is sitting on the edge of is bed, hunched over in the dark with his face in his hands, stewing in bitterness because he just can’t stop thinking about you. Yes, he knows the thought is absurd, yet he allows it anyway — allows himself to blame you, to resent you for it as if it were an intentional act on your end, to think of you as audacious, having committed some grand transgression against him.

He’s a celebrity, a genius, he has powers unfathomable to the average person — and here you are, you’re nobody, making him think about you. The more he gives in and allows himself to slip into that way of thinking, regardless of how nonsensical he knows it is, the angrier and angrier he gets, the greater the malice that swells in his chest—

—and the darker his thoughts become on what to do with you.

If he forces himself to think it through reasonably, of course, he realizes that you’ve done nothing wrong, that you’ve been nothing but kind to him, and maybe, just maybe, a part of him even feels guilty for any unwholesome, sinister thoughts run through his head — you don’t deserve anything bad to happen to you, and he’s being embarrassingly childish for such boorish, overly-simplistic thoughts like keeping you and taking you away and hurting you and making you pay. Particularly the last — you’ve done nothing wrong, nothing to deserve any harm, and in the rational part of his mind, he knows this.

But if he were to allow those petulant feelings to take over…

If he let the irrational resentment and yearning and attachment and bitterness take over, if he stopped being rational about it, if he just acted on impulses and feelings alone, then he would have something to make you pay for. To make you the object of all the negative emotions that plague him, make you an outlet for his crippling desperation and rage and affection and covet and pain and misery and yearning — yes, he could put all those emotions into you, unload that burden and force you to take it off his shoulders, force you to be something for him to have to himself and use for his own desires and ease of his pain like he always wanted back then.

Maybe he never stopped wanting that, even if he forced every thought of you to the back of his mind for so many years. It was easier to deny the yearning when he could tell himself he would never see you again. He doesn't have that to hold him back anymore — he stares at the screen of his phone that burns his eyes in the darkness, knowing contact with you is a few mere taps away.

But even back then, he wasn’t so stupid as to not realize you interacted with him because he was pitiful and pathetic and obviously troubled and you were the sort of sweet person that went out of your way to be nice to such other children. He was acutely aware of that fact, it irritated him then, it irritates him now. Yet he latched on like a leech anyway, a fact that makes his face feel hot with embarrassment when he recalls how his child self clung to you so strongly, so pathetically. He couldn’t help it. He was so weak, back then.

But here he is, spending hours of his time thinking about you — can he really say he’s less weak to you now?

It’s not as if it’s the first time he had dark thoughts regarding you. Of course, he envied your life back then, but far more than that, he envied you. To have you to himself, as if an object from which he derived happiness that should be just for him. How upset he was when you were kind to people who weren’t him, spent time with others. Even back then, as a child, you have no idea the sort of things he crafted in his head, elaborate fantasies where everyone important to you died off somehow so he could have you all to himself. Fantasies that soothed both his bitterness for you and his desire for you — let you feel pain like he had felt, make sure you couldn’t think yourself better than him, while still ending up something all for him alone to have and enjoy for himself, ensure your kindness was just for him.

Only back then, he had no power to act on such fantasies.

Now…

…

…

...And one night, his resistance finally breaks.

You know what? Maybe he does deserve that. After all the effort he’s put in, after all the things he’s endured, maybe he does deserve to have something all for himself, something he truly wants, something he can secure and know with certainty won’t ever leave his side — you can’t if you don’t have the option.

Maybe you’ll hate him for it. Maybe he’d deserve it if so. But if you do, well, he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

His fingers move without having to really think much about it. Generic, typical lines, just like when he spoke with you. Apologizing for the delay, but surely you understand he’s busy and all, so on and so on. He only pays attention to the very last line, as his fingers slow down in their typing with nerves and anticipation.

>Would you still be up for getting together sometime?

[inneedofsupervision]

Sweet Tooth

When Eddie came to the park, he would have never guessed he would be home hours later and possibly have found a way to keep his alien symbiote co-inhabitant from needing to eat human brains. Did he find the solution for their rather unconventional diet, or was it just wishful thinking on his part? An idea of how else Venom could get his claws on his all-beloved phenethylamine (without Eddie having to use three cups of mouthwash the next day).

(Read on Ao3)

"Eddie?"

"Hm?"

"We want to eat the tiny humans."

"We've talked about this, V."

Eddie puts his dame on G6.

A good move.

Pleased with his choice, the journalist grabs for the steaming paper cup. A gust of wind blows colored leaves throughout the small park, covering the patches of green and the wet paths. It's rather chilly. A few meters next to him, a family is at a playground, and the three children are screaming and laughing as they run around.

"There is only so much chocolate can do to quell our hunger, Eddie."

"Guess you must stay hungry then, as I won't change my mind about this."

Eddie holds the coffee between both hands, trying to warm his fingers. A low growl rings in the deeper corners of his consciousness, but the man ignores the sounds inside his head. The sun breaks through the clouds, and strays of light fall onto the lithic chess table.

"They are mingy. Who would notice one or two of them missing?"

Eddie shakes his head while Venom's dusky voice speaks inside his mind. He raises the coffee towards his lips as an onyx-colored tentacle slithers from his sleeve. Like a snake, it creeps over the checkered table, its thinning end straightening up only to wind around the head of a pawn. It pulls until the figure has moved onto a black field.

Eddie frowns into his cup.

Checkmate.

"Please, Eddie. I can already feel their small, undeveloped brains melt on my tongue."

A spray of coffee bursts out over the chessboard, followed by violent coughing. Another tentacle emits from Eddie's body, this time out of his shoulder, knocking him on his back while the man is busy trying to get the hot liquid out of his trachea.

"Okay, that's it," Eddie says, still couching, face slowly regaining color.

"Enough fresh air for today. Time to bring you back under lock and key."

"You are a sore loser, Eddie. I won, and as a prize, I will get a snack of my choice~"

Venom almost purrs, his voice rumbling and sending shivers down his host's spine. Eddie shakes his head with a click of his tongue. Living with Venom was like getting a young dog who grew out of the puppy stage. Every rule gets questioned, sometimes several times a day. They have discussed when, where, and who Venom gets to eat. And even these rules have nuances. Lots of them, for the sake of Eddie not being brought behind bars after being linked a little too quickly with another headless body turning up in some dumpster near their neighborhood.

He tries to be understanding.

Eddie is aware of the alien and his needs, knowing there is no way around the Klyntar to consume brains sooner or later, sensing the growing hunger through their bond. But even he runs out of patience, discussing with a tantrum-throwing symbiote why the latter cannot eat children for the second time in thirty minutes.

"This isn't a Subway, Buddy. No snacks to choose from."

The man throws the tissue and empty cup into a garbage bin, shoveling his hands deep into his pockets. It is getting cold pretty fast now.

"Pussy."

"Yeah, yeah. See how you will like it when I freeze to death, and you're just a slimy little blob without a host," grumbles Eddie with a roll of his eyes.

"What did you just call us!?"

"For such a superior form of living, your hearing is quite bad, isn't it?"

"You will take this back, or I will devour your liver. You hear me, Eddie? Painfully and slow, and then I will crack open your head and feast on your brain while keeping you alive as long as possible."

Eddie hums without really paying attention.

"I believe it when I see it."

He wasn't sure when he stopped shaking in fear at the violent threats the alien liked to dish out whenever something didn't go his way. He twitches at the tentacle that pulls at his ear, swatting the offending appendage away.

"Why are you suddenly interested in eating children, anyway?"

Eddie halts in his steps. That sounds messed up. He begins walking again, quickening his pace, and leaves the playground and park behind, ignoring the dark rumble of protests from the alien, who moves restlessly under his skin. He blinks as his hood gets pulled over his head, furrowing his brows before the first raindrops hit the pavement. Venom flutters at the unspoken feeling of gratitude, drinking up the emotion before settling around his neck like a midnight-colored scarf. A small head pokes out from under his hood. Milky eyes stare up at the man. A tongue darts out, licking over the front row of razor-sharp teeth.

"Their brains smell delicious."

Eddie grimaces, not noticing how his expression causes Venom's grin to widen at his obvious distaste.

"Their brains smell delicious?"

He's whispering as he hurries up the stairs to his apartment, preventing his neighbors from thinking he's crazy, more than they already do.

"The quantity of some hormones they produce is beyond what I've experienced from grown humans."

"Maybe because they have more fun than adults?" throws Eddie his thought into the room, pulling his jacket off and dumping it over a chair.

"Aren't you after dopamine and stuff?"

"They certainly have more fun than you."

"Well, being an adult isn't all pleasure and enjoyment, V. We can't all be playing around and eating chocolate the whole day," counters Eddie lightheartedly as he opens his laptop. He rubs a hand over his face with a sigh, the half-finished article plopping out like a silent warning. How could Eddie possibly have fun running late on a deadline? Glancing at his notebook, he skims over the information he gathered before his eyes flick back to the screen. His fingers hover motionless over the keyboard, and the seconds pass while Eddie stares at the document. With a deep sigh, he pushes the chair back and stands up.

"You have never produced such an amount of tasty hormones, Eddie."

He shudders when the alien roams around inside of him, not even trying to be inconspicuous about it.

"What are you doing there, Buddy?"

Eddie gulps slightly, the hairs on his whole body straightening up. It feels like his organs are flipped over like stones on a beach to glance under them to see if something of interest hides under them. Venom seems to work his way from his legs upwards until Eddie panics. He can feel Venom coming straight toward his head, and although he is well aware that Venom is always in his head, the thought of the Symbiote searching for something in there leaves him a little panicked.

"V?"

His voice cracks, and he coughs to overplay his embarrassment, but his nervousness doesn't lessen as he doesn't receive an answer from the Symbiote.

"Venom?"

The movement doesn't stop, passing his lungs and working its way up his esophagus. When reaching past the Adam's apple, Eddie feels fear creeping up.

"Venom, stop!"

"What?"

Eddie jumps, the back of his knees hitting the couch and sending him falling onto it as Venom's head pops out of his chest to look at him.

"Christ, give a guy some warning next time. What are you even doing?"

"Checking you out, Eddie."

Eddie cannot hold back a laugh at that.

"I'm sure that's not what you mean. What exactly are you checking for?"

The serpent-like head tilts slightly.

"You don't produce as much hormones as the tiny humans. I had to check if your oranges are defective."

Eddie raises an eyebrow. He was pretty sure his organs were okay. Deciding to humor his friend, he folds his hands together and leans forward.

"And, what are your results, Doc?"

White eyes narrow at the title. The head wanders up and down, and Eddie feels the rest of Venom shifting under his skin, reaching out into every cell of his body. The feeling stops soon, and Venom licks his teeth again, reminding the human of a snake tasting the air.

"You are not dying."

Eddie huffs and lets himself fall back onto the couch.

"Thanks, pal. I haven't been worried about that until now. What hormones are we talking about, though?"

Venom's head bends down. His eyes scrutinize the human while searching for sarcasm. Seeing his host being serious about the question, he straightens up, hovering over the man.

"Adrenalin, dopamine, phenethylamine."

A sudden thought overcame him.

"Does that mean you scuff down brains for neurotransmitters inside?"

"And because they taste good."

The reporter scoots to the side to avoid getting hit by the to-the-ground-extending string of saliva running down from a corner of Venom's mouth. Eddie observes with a pinched expression how the string wanders until it hits the floor.

Great.

Now, he can mope the apartment. Eddie shakes his head. Now wasn't the time to think about salvia on the floor. Not after Venom revealed a particular detail of his rather unconventional diet.

"You mentioned feeding off my body before, right?"

The Symbiote's eyes narrow dangerously, and a low growl emits deep within his throat.

"I had no choice, Eddie. We were dying."

Eddie raises his arms in a placating and protective manner, not that it would be much use if Venom decided to jump him for the question. Their first meeting was still a touchy subject. Eddie smiles gently, his voice calm. If he had learned something, it was to not engage in Venom's open provocation if you like not getting your nose broken and healed, only to get it broken again. The handling of Venom called for more finesse as with any other human Eddie had contact with before in his life.

"That wasn't an accusation, V. Just a question."

The hollow snarling ebbs away, and Eddie feels a sigh of relief climbing up his throat. He could do without an angered Venom.

"If my brain produced more hormones, would that mean you need to eat less brains?"

Venom's serpentine head sways back and forth. Eddie watches, slightly fascinated and a little amused, how the tar-colored skin of the Klyntar tightens above the milky-white eyes, a grotesque imitation of a frown.

"It could."

"It could?"

Eddie had hoped for a more profound answer. The less brains he, or rather Venom, had to consume, the better. He really could do without their choice of midnight snacks, and even when the humans they chose were the worst of the worst, there were days Eddie couldn't cope with the thought of having devoured another human.

"You humans all produce different amounts of hormones. It depends on what your tiny brain can offer me, Eddie."

The smile on the reporter's face vanishes to be replaced by a scowl.

"My tiny brain? What does that mean? You know what, it's none of my business. Let's forget about the whole thing."

Eddie crosses his arms in front of his chest. He could not be bothered, continuing to talk about brains and hormones. Venom seems to pick up on his host's change of heart, the black head tilting to the side questioningly.

"Eddie, are you pouting?"

Not in the mood to answer, Eddie averts, hand reaching out of his smartphone to direct his attention to what his oh-so-small and silly brain could rather deal with. Before his fingers could touch the device, a thin tentacle curls around his wrist, successfully pulling his arm back.

The man rolls his eyes. With an exasperated sigh, he focuses on Venom.

"Let go of my arm, V."

The tentacle slithered back, and all hairs on his skin straightened as Venom moved. The Klyntar's head grows, and the part one could call a neck thickens rapidly. In less than a few seconds, Venom has almost entirely built up in front of the human, his massive upper body towering over him.

The pale pink tongue flicked out of his mouth, licking along the row of razor-sharp teeth, accompanied by a hiss.

"What crawled up your ass and died?" commented Eddie dryly. He was too pissed off to be impressed.

The Symbiote bends forward, their foreheads apart by a hair.

"You ever heard of personal space, big guy? Because you're stepping into mine. A little distance would be very much appreciated."

"I am inside you, Eddie. Your personal space belongs to me."

Eddie stares at Venom, and his lips move, but without a sound passing. For the first time today, the man was rendered speechless. Venom continues sizing his host up, tongue flicking through the air.

"Okay. That's a topic for another day," mumbles the man.

"Eddie."

"You like what you see?" jokes the reporter in an attempt to pass off his insecurity. Venom's white eyes lock on him, like a predator targeting its prey. A nervousness flickers somewhere in his stomach area. He had to break the eye contact with the alien manifesting out of his body. His gaze involuntarily moves downwards, Adam's apple setting in motion as they catch sight of the Symbiot's teeth.

One bite and everything would be over.

A hint of anxiety rolls over him as claws settle on either side of his shoulders against the couch, efficiently caging the man and robbing him of any way to escape. Not as if he had a chance, fleeing from an alien that nested inside every cell of his body.

“Good, but not quite what we wanted.”

Eddie's head snaps up, goosebumps spreading across his skin as Venom's voice rings in his head.

“Not the same as the little humans in the park. A certain something is missing.”

Eddie's face hardens as he finally catches on.

“You stupid bastard!” the reporter roars, any fear and panic he had felt replaced by anger and a pinch of shame.

“You scared me on purpose!"

He growls, pointing a finger at the Sybiote, anger burning in his eyes.

"I hope you had fun, 'cause that was the last time. You pull a stunt like this once more, and I swear to God, I'm going to march right up to our neighbor asking for a fucking private concert and turn the volume as high as possible. Then I'm going to collect your gooey alien ass in a jam jar and throw it out into the trash, you heard me?"

It takes a lot for Eddie Brock to lose his temper. His life had been turbulent ever since the thing with the Life Foundation began, and at some point, he began to grow blunt, not getting bothered as quickly as before. Few things get under the reporter's skin, having seen so much.

This time, Venom had pushed it too far.

Eddie tries hard to adjust to living with his Symbiote. He does his best catering to Venom's unusual needs, and how does that damned parasite thank him? Spooking Eddie out of his mind and causing his brain to kick into overdrive to feast on the adrenaline produced as the fear kicked in and, to put a cheery on top, making fun of him. Something in Eddie's voice or even inside his head must have shown how angry and betrayed he felt cause instead of retaliating with a biting remark or a threatening growl, Venom kept silent.

"What? Cat got your tongue? Nothing that the big bad alien wants to say?"

"I am sorry, Eddie."

"I hope you are."

The claws next to his shoulder retreat to offer his host some space. Eddie takes a deep breath, eyes averted from the Sybiote. He had to calm down. Getting angry isn't the solution. The blond already feels shame and guilt, not proud of how he has reacted.

With a sigh, he let a hand run over his face before glancing at Venom.

"I'm sorry too, Buddy."

The Symbiote tilts his head, white eyes narrow as he scrutinizes the human on the couch.

"I overreacted. I won't throw you into the trash."

"I doubt you would have managed. With your measly arms and puny muscles."

While speaking, a tentacle wraps around Eddie's upper body, slithering until it winds around his right arm and squeezing softly to undermine his words.

The corner of Eddie's mouth pulls upwards.

"Asshole."

He gives Venom's chest a playful shove.

Venom's teeth flash as his mouth pulls into an eerie smirk. A tentacle emanates out of his chest where Eddie had touched him and thrusts the human to the side, knocking him with his back onto the couch. Before he could sit up, Venom positioned himself over him, seizing his arms faster than Eddie could mouth "stop" and pushing them next to the side of his head.

"As I said. Puny."

A playful twinkle flickers in the milky white of Venom's eyes, and Eddie rolls his eyes at the smug tone.

"Hardy har. Just wait till I get out of here. I'm going to kick your gooey ass."

"Really? That I would like to witness."

Eddie narrows his eyes, provoked by the words. He tries hard, putting all his strength into his arms, and pushes to get off the couch. To his surprise, Eddie manages to gain space, almost having sat back up when the tentacle from before appears in front of his face. With a frown, the man observes the appendage hover as he pushes forward. Just before he was sitting straight, the tentacle came closer and gently shoved his forehead. Eddie stills, bemused at the action as the tentacle draws closer again, but this time, the push is much stronger. With a shout of surprise, he is back to stare at the ceiling.

"You didn't pay attention," purrs Venom, voice thick with amusement. The tentacle that had pushed him patted his cheek playfully.

"You cheated!" protests Eddie with a laugh, biting at the tentacle. The appendage raises and avoids his attack, only to pinch the tip of Eddie's nose. Venom grins down at the human.

"Even without holding you down, you would be at my mercy, Eddie. Give up."

"You can forget that."

His arms are released. Instead, Venom leans further down, threatening to bury Eddie under his black mass.

"Wait, you don't have to push it, V."

Despite his words of protest, Eddie laughed, knowing Venom wouldn't hurt him.

"Eddie?"

"What?"

Venom straightens and gazes down at the smiling human below. The Symbiote tilts his head, eying his host with growing interest. Eddie raises an eyebrow.

"What's wrong?"

A low purr fills the room from deep within Venom's chest. The Symbiote licks his teeth.

"I want more."

Eddie looks at him questioningly, hands still on Venom's body. The alien runs hotter than he had expected.

"More? More of what exactly?"

Venom bends down until his face hovers only inches apart from his host.

"Hormones, Eddie," Venom's tongue darts out, tasting the air. "You smell almost as tasty as the tiny humans."

Eddie blinks, not having expected that answer.

"Oh," was all he could bring out before a sudden thought occurred, causing warmth to build up inside him. The tips of his ears turn red.

"Eddie, you don't have to be embarrassed. You can admit to having fun."

"Shut your mouth," grumbles the human, red-faced. Gosh, he had fun playing around with Venom like a little kid. He coughs, embarrassed.

"Okay, it's time to stop. Come on, big guy. Let me up."

Venom didn't think about letting his human go. Especially not after Eddie's brain had just begun producing an exquisite cocktail of hormones.

"Explain to me, Eddie, what else is fun to you? Apart from being proven how frail you humans are?"

He looks down at Eddie, who still has being embarrassed written all over his features. Venom does not comprehend why his human felt the need to be ashamed for having fun, but there are many instances in which he doesn't understand Eddie. He might find out someday. But, at the moment, that doesn't interest Venom as he has more pressing matters to care for.

Eddie jumps as something slides under his sleeve. He glances at his arm. One of Venom's tentacles winds around his wrists. It was nothing unusual. Venom tends to appear at random times and slither over his skin. He never got an explanation why the alien did it, and Eddie had dismissed it as one of the Klyntar's quirks and left it at that. The tentacle wanders around but is not purposeful like the other times. It felt as if it was searching for something.

"Ehm, V? Care to explain?" asks the man, nodding towards his arm.

"I don't understand it, Eddie," growls Venom, eyes dangerously narrowed, his voice rumbling deep through Eddie's body. The Symbiote eyes him with his head tilted, face pulled into a scowl. Venom seems genuinely confused, and even if Eddie found it slightly amusing to see the other planless, he felt a little pity for the Klyntar.

"What's going on, Buddy? Come on, talk to me. Maybe we can figure it out together."

"I'm mimicking what the tiny humans did, but you are not reacting. Your body is fully functional, and your brain is not defective."

The reporter blinks, thrown off for a moment.

"Okay, about what exactly are we talking here?"

"The tiny humans in the park, they did something which spiked their hormones, but when I do it to you, you are not reacting."

It is Eddies turn to tilt his head in question. "I can't follow, Buddy. Maybe you can describe what the children did?"

Venom growls, a sign of him growing frustrated, but still describes what he had witnessed.

"They touched each other," the tentacle that had winded its way around Eddie Arm travels over his shirt towards the middle of his body before hovering over his stomach. "Here. And then they began laughing."

It takes a moment before it finally clicks.

"I see. Now I know what you are talking about, V," says Eddie with an amused laugh.

"They probably tickled each other."

"Tickled?"

The way Klyntar emphasized the word shows that he had never heard it before.

"The action itself is tickling, and someone who gets tickled and is affected is called ticklish."

"And if someone gets tickled, they laugh?"

Eddie nods, quite proud of how quickly Venom caught on. The Symbiote got quicker with how things on Earth worked every day.

"It's an involuntary reaction of our body towards a certain kind of touch," he continues explaining.

"There are only guesses why one has to laugh when being tickled. Most believe it to be a defensive reaction. Most people are ticklish at parts of the body that need the most protection, for example, the stomach, under the arms, and the neck, but there are more. Where and how ticklish someone is differs from person to person."

"It can't hurt you?"

"Not really. If one overdoes it, it can turn unpleasant quickly. It is still an involuntary reaction. Therefore, one must pay attention to the reaction of the opposite and slow down or stop, not to overwhelm."

"Are you ticklish, Eddie?"

Oh.

That went very wrong, very fast.

"Like you just saw, I'm not ticklish," explains Eddie slowly, praying Venom's previous failure to tickle his arm suffice to prevent the alien from trying again.

"You are not lying to me, are you, Eddie? I should try again, to be sure."

The man swallows nervously.

"Congratulations, Eddie. You just created a monster. Okay. There's no reason to panic. If you manage to stay quiet, he gets bored sooner or later. Hopefully sooner."

He barely conceals a squeak as something pulls at his wrist. With growing horror, he observes the man how a set of black tentacles wrung around his wrist and painfully slowly pulls them over his head.

"It's easier getting your underarms this way."

A single sentence is enough to make something in his stomach coil. His underarms are ticklish. Very much.

He won't withstand this.

"Why are you nervous, Eddie? You have no reason to unless you were lying."

Venom looks at him, teeth pulled into a giant grin. White eyes scan the human stretched out and open for him to test this newfound knowledge. A cold shiver runs down Eddie's spine. Hopefully, Venom does not pay this reaction to his body and mind. He didn't like the wolfish grin the Symbiote gave him, as if he had trouble choosing which part to begin with.

"Venom, I told you that doesn't work on me. Come on, leave me go, and we can get dinner, alright? We get some pizza, and afterward, you can eat the rest of the chocolate we got you yesterday. What do you say?"

Venom didn't even look like he considered the offer.

"I think I will begin with your stomach."

Eddie licks his chapped lips, franticly thinking about what else he could say to dissuade the Symbiote of his schemes. His eyes observe with growing dread how several tentacles arise out of Venom's chest. The midnight black appendages wind and crank as if possessed. They find their way over his upper body, and Eddie cannot keep his eyes off them.

A pull and prickle spread in his stomach region, and his jaw clenches as he tries to keep a straight face. A hardly noticeable flinch passes his body as the first tentacle reaches its goal. Without waiting, it begins to creep over his shirt from one side to the other.

Eddie shut his eyes tightly, preparing mentally not to let a single noise leave his mouth. One sound, and he wouldn't survive the evening. With bated breath, the man lets the wandering of the tentacles fare. The seconds tick by, and Eddie lies tensed up on the couch until a sudden thought crosses his mind while a tentacle glides over his collarbone.

Venom's touch doesn't tickle.

The reporter dares to open a single eye to peek at Venom. The alien's appendages slide over his body, sometimes adding little pressure. The careful movements remind him of a scan to check for injuries.

He was nearly about to laugh.

How in the world would an alien know how to tickle someone? Eddie wants to shake his head. He had worried for nothing. Of course, Venom could not understand he had to lessen his touch or get firmer with it. His pullover also protected him. He didn't want to know how bad those tentacles would feel on bare skin. Eddies muscles relax. With a relieved sigh, he melts into the couch.

"Bare skin and less pressure, you say?"

"Fuck!"

"Oh, Eddie."

Their eyes meet while a new tentacle grows off the Symbiote's chest. The appendage pats Eddie's cheek teasingly.

"Did you forget? Every single thought, every reaction of our body, everything that happens within you, Eddie, I know it. And now, let's see how good this "tickling" works on you, now that I know what to do, thanks to you."

Goosebumps spread over his skin as his pullover gets pushed upwards. The hold on his wrist loosens, and before he can react, the pullover is pulled over his head and dangles from Venom's claw.

"You don't need this now."

With those words, the Symbiote throws the article of clothing over his shoulder.

"Hey!" protests Eddie and moves his head to see where his clothes end up. He gets pulled out of his endeavors as the black extremities once again begin moving over his upper body. At no other moment did Eddie wish Venom didn't listen to his words and thoughts, as he did at this very moment. The tension that left his body moments before is back tenfold. With tightly shut eyes and lips, Eddie tries desperately, not paying attention to the feather-light touches all over his stomach.

This time, Venom's touch does tickle.

And how much it tickles.

The goosebump grows as the heads of the tentacles slide dangerously close along his belly button, over his waistline and hipbones. Eddie couldn't hold back a small whimper as one of the appendages moved further towards his left side than the others. The light touches between his lower rip and his hips are simply unbearable.

"Got you."

"Fuck!"

The tentacles retreat from the middle of his torso to simultaneously commit to tickling up and down his sides. Two of them on each side slide with silky touches over his skin, and Eddie can't hold back the gigantic grin that is about to split his face in half.

"You're smiling a lot for something that's not funny to you, Eddie."

Instead of answering, Eddie can only give a choked giggle, which he quickly tries overplaying by hiding his reddened face in the crook of his arm. Meanwhile, Venom's limbs are traveling. Two are still paying attention to his sides, which leaves every hair on his body standing straight, while the others are moving upwards.

Eddie could only pray that Venom would keep it at the light touches. If the Symbiote decides to tickle his rips earnestly, he will break like a dried-up stick.

"Breaking? I would like to see that."

Eddie, you dumb idiot!

"It's part of your charm, Eddie."

Venom grins down at him with a sly smirk. The tentacles have reached his ribs, and as one of them calculatedly pokes between the bones, Eddie cannot hold back. With a jump, a little shout of surprise leaves his mouth. Venom's eyes narrow, his monstrous grin fills his face from one side to the other, and Eddie knows there is no way out now.

Before he could protest, plead, or swear at the Klyntar, more than ten tentacles began poking into his rips from all sides at once. Eddie knows he won't be able to handle it anymore. Having lost the charge over his reactions, he cannot stop twisting and turning in the hold as if every poke seems to shoot an electric pulse through his body.

"V-Venom, stop it!"

But the alien doesn't even think about stopping now.

With growing amusement, he observes his host squirming under him. He had never seen the man show this kind of reaction before. Venom could manipulate Eddie if he wanted to, making him do whatever he deemed fit, but the Klyntar detests this kind of symbiosis. This "tickling", causing the man under him to lose control over his body without Venom needing to do anything but touch his skin, was fun. With fascination watches the alien, the crow's feet dancing around the corner of Eddie's eyes. But the Symbiote was not satisfied. As fun as Eddie's weird dance on the couch was, it isn't how the little humans have reacted to the "tickling." His host did make peculiar noises, but the laughing was still missing.

But the answer to archiving that reaction lies right inside Eddie's head. Like a sponge, Venom absorbs every tidbit of information. Every thought, every reaction, whatever gets him closer to achieving his goal is soaked up.

The Klyntar observes Eddie before he lets two of his tentacles change their form. Carefully, to avoid nipping the sensible skin, Venom puts his newly formed claws around Eddie's waist. The thumbs are pressing into the sides of the toned stomach, the rest of his fingers hovering in the small of Eddies back. He seems to do something right as Eddie's brain, after registering the new touch and the position of Venom's claws on his body, releases adrenaline, and his heart rate spikes.

"This is a good spot, right? Is it a place you are ticklish at, Eddie?"

Eddie opens his mouth, but to his horror, nothing but boisterous laughter comes out as Venom uses that exact moment to start squeezing.

The man's hips buck upwards, unable to withstand the urge to escape from the touch, and Eddie throws his body from left to right when Venom won't stop the rapid succession of squeezes. The asshole varies the strength behind each squeeze to keep him guessing, and it drives Eddie mad.

"You bastard! Stohohohop it, dahamn it!"

But Venom doesn't think about stopping. He finally did it.

Eddie squirms madly in the Symbiote's hold, Venom's thumbs massaging the sides of his stomach while his fingers dub into his back. Until now, Eddie didn't even know any part of his back was ticklish. What makes him the most nervous is how Venom gets better at tickling with every ongoing moment. The clumsy movements begin to gain precision, and simple pokes give way to kneading and squeezing at spots like his ribs and hip bones, leaving him squirming pathetically in the hold.

A few tentacles wander back towards where it all began, and instead of stroking over his stomach, they use a bit more pressure, which turns out to be very effective.

"Fuhuhuck, nohot there! Oh good, noho! Pl-please, Venom!"

"Your tummy is ticklish, after all. It's fascinating how such small touches can render you defenseless. You humans are so pathetically fragile that even touches as soft as this can defeat you."

"You reahahally knohow how toho strohoke a mahans ego, Venom."

"Your frail ego doesn't matter to me, Eddie. I'd rather stroke your sides. That's much more amusing."

An honest-to-god squeal escapes Eddie as Venom does, just as he said.

"Are all of you humans this ticklish, or is that just you, Eddie?" purrs Venom, licking his teeth hungrily as a flood of delicious hormones floods the man's brain. His human windes and writhes under Venom's tentacles, stroking up and down his sides.

"Shuhut up. St-stahap teahasing me, you asshole!"

"But your brain reacts so well to them, Eddie."

"I said to keep quiet!"

"Why, Eddie? Does it tickle more when I ask you how ticklish you are while searching for more of your most ticklish spots to tickle you? Does that make it tickle worse?"

He watches with amusement at Eddie's face and neck, reddening at his voice. The man tries hiding his face in his arm, clearly embarrassed but still laughing even when Venom lessens the tickling to teasing strokes.

Eddie finally regains his breath, glaring up at Venom as he fights the heat in his face. God, he cannot believe the damn alien could make him this flustered by tickling him.

"Fuck you, you sadistic parasite."

Venom's eyes narrow dangerously. The reporter's eyes open wide, and panic grows inside him as he watches with fear how a bunch of tentacles approach his defenseless armpits.

"Venom, buddy, let's talk about this, okay? I didn't mean that. It was a slip of the tongue."

Despite his fear of what lay ahead, Eddie couldn't discard the silly grin about to split his face. He looks like a madman trying to keep the corner of his mouth down, only for them to twitch back into a smile, anticipation coiling inside his chest.

With a playful growl, Venom let his appendages strike forward, attacking the open laying underarms.

A shout leaves Eddie's lips before the man shakes his head left and right, messing his short hair up even more while roaring with laughter. Venom had formed another pair of claws, thumbs digging into the muscle under the armpit while the rest teased the middle of both sides, driving the man up the wall. It tickles like mad, and Eddie is thoroughly helpless. He's unable to do anything but pull at his arms. Eddie arches his back and throws his body around, but Venom shows no mercy. While the man twists and turns, laughing his head off, several more tentacles manifest out of Venom's body to teach the human a lesson he wouldn't forget so soon. The tentacles grab him around the middle, turning into a wide belt-like construction that relentlessly massages his bottom rib, sides, stomach, and lower back. Single tentacles use every free patch of skin they can find to prod, poke, and scribble away. Two thicker appendages have wrapped around Eddie's thighs, keeping him from thrusting his hips as another pair of claws take care of his hip bones.

Every time Eddie jumps, shrieks, or squeals, several tentacles are determined to find the cause and make him repeat that reaction.

Eddie is in stitches.

His body moves constantly, winding from side to side. Whatever he tries, he cannot escape the maddening sensations.

The worst of it all, despite his body's desperate attempts to make it stop, a tiny part of Eddie's mind asks when it was the last time he had laughed this much and so heartily. Not a second later, Eddie nearly choked as he realized what he had just thought of, appalled by what would happen if Venom caught wind of him subconsciously having fun while being tickled to pieces by the Symbiote. He would die out of embarrassment.

"I DIHIHIND'T MEAHAN IHIT LIKE THAT! PLEASE STAHAHAP!"

"You are a terrible liar. I will make you pay for calling us a parasite!"

"PLEASEHE VENAHAM! YOU'RE KIHIHILLING MEHEH!"

"I would never let you die, Eddie."

"IHIHI SUHURE DOESOHON'T FEHEHELL LIKE THAHAT!"

Taking in the dark red of the man's face and the tears sparkling in Eddie's eyes, the Klyntar tunes it down. He keeps the human in place. He's still teasing him by letting appendages run up and down his armpits. He also pays special attention to the human's sensitive sides, as well as his neck, causing Eddie to giggle like a maniac.

"Lehet me go. Pl-pleahahse V. I'm tirehehed."

Reculantly, the Symbiote draws his appendages back. Still hovering over the man, Venom watches with a smirk how Eddie curls together, a few giggles escaping him as he tiredly wipes tears out of the corner of his eyes.

"That was tasty."

Eddie let his head fall back, glaring up at Venom but looking so out of it that the alien almost felt sorry for overdoing it. If Eddie hadn't called him a parasite, he might have let up sooner. Eddie had to stop provoking him. Silly human.

"You're telling me it worked?"

Eddie huffs and runs a hand through his messed-up hair.

Venom grins down at him, eyes gleaming with mischief.

"We should repeat that. Almost as good as eating brains."

"Torturing me? You can forget that right now."

"Don't be like that, Eddie. You had fun. I saw and felt it."

"Oh, leave me alone, you ass."

"There's no need to be embarrass-. You threw a pillow at me!?"

"I said leave it."

"I see. You are begging for a second round."

"Venom, stop it. Put your freaking tentacles away! Pleahase, Ve. Nohot agahahain!"

[zer0brainc3lls]

Newtmas headcanons pt2!

Newt and Thomas both read and they just sit in bed together reading all the time, ever so often gasping and going "you'll never guess what just happened-"

Newt is a chronic clothes THIEF. he doesn't buy baggy clothes because he will just go and steal Thomas's stuff 😭 "its not your shirt, its OUR shirt. big difference." "I BOUGHT IT?!" "AND I PICKED IT FOR YOU!" "YEAH I SEE WHY NOW"

Thomas would see little trinkets or flowers and just give it to Newt with little to no context except maybe "for you!" "i found this" Newt has kept every single one. he presses the flowers and keeps them in a book, the trinkets are in a box.

Newt got told by a doctor he should be using a cane, Newt refused but made the fatal mistake of complaining to Thomas about it.. Newt now has a cane decorated with stickers.

before Newt got the flare he had a weaker immune system then the other guys (aka they have really strong immune systems and his was just normal so everyone thought his was weak) but after he got the flare and got cured it ACTUALLY got weak, like a cold for someone else will have him in bed for days vomiting :( Thomas however almost never gets sick.. so he takes care of sick Newt OFTEN

Newt loves taking care of plants, Thomas cannot keep them alive.

Thomas is wearing shorts in the freezing cold, Newt is in multiple layers the moment the temperate gets even slightly cold

Newt is a flower crown/bracelet WARRIOR. Anytime Thomas comes home with flowers he found if he has enough Newt makes them into bracelets for Thomas to wear around (sometimes he makes crowns but he usually makes bracelets because it’s more practical for Thomas)

Thomas won’t take the bracelets off unless he’s showering/sleeping (so they don’t break) and will wear them till they have withered off

Thomas BEGGED Newt to teach him how to plait hair, once he got it down he plaits Newts hair for him

Thomas sometimes has a hard time focusing, and will sometimes not look at people while they are talking (not in a rude way!!) and Newt will just tap him on the shoulder if it’s someone else but if Thomas is “ignoring” HIM.. yk that move he did to frypan when he was looking at Teresa? Yeah. That gets Thomas’s attention alright 😭 example:

Newt: yeah so then-

Thomas: *staring off into the distance, fiddling with his hands deep in thought*

Newt: *rolls his eyes and grabs Thomas’s face and makes him look at him* y’know you’re s’pose to look at people when they talk to ya Tommy

Thomas: *red in the face* uhm- yeah you’re right- sorry what did you say hun?

(Newt knows this gets Thomas flustered btw. Uses it to his upmost advantage)

When Newt got the cure (I’m insane) he still suffered from the rare burst of anger/paranoia and on very very bad days hallucinations, since he was past the gone when he got the cure. No where near as bad to when he had the flare but still bad none the less, Thomas reassures him constantly and helps him calm down.

Being sick is a massiveee trigger for Newt. Fever, flu, vomiting you name it he’s on edge. Sometimes he gets in his own head and second guesses if he’s really cured but once again Thomas saves the day and is always there for him when he’s sick, staying home more to make sure he’s ok. (Writing a small fic about this btw!!!)

Newt is a back rub fanatic. Loves them. Receiving end or giving he does NOT care!! Thomas figured this out and whenever Newt is upset Thomas rubs his back

Fav kiss placements (giving and receiving):

Newt: gives cheek and neck kisses, loves receiving normal, forehead/hair kisses & neck kisses

Thomas: gives normal, just all over Newts face & neck kisses, loves receiving neck kisses and cheek kisses

More on neck kisses specifically there is a reason beside lust!! Its pulse points, reminds them that this is infact real and the other is ok :)

When they hold hands they sometimes check each others pulses out of habit, if in a uncomfortable scenario one will check the others and if it’s higher they gesture with a head nod if the other wants to leave

They both underestimate their own injuries, the other freaks out when the other is slightly sick/injured because in the scorch tiny cuts or the flu were very dangerous. Not much medicine or anything. Even in the safe haven, it’s a habit they won’t get rid of convinced it keeps them safe. They had a rule in the scorch that they had to tell the other if they were injuried since they own they themselves won’t see it as a big deal. Example:

*in the safe haven*

Thomas: hey Newt I got this cut on my hand today *shows palm, slight cut still bleeding*

Newt: *eyes widen in shock, grabbing Thomas’s hand careful not to touch the wound dragging him away*

Brenda: where are you going?!

Newt: to bandage it!! *tugs Thomas’s faster*

They do the whole deal. Cleaning, bandaging double checking etc :( poor boys

Newt tops, Thomas bottoms. No further questions!!

They are NOT picky eaters. At all. Plates fully clean, they do have favourites though

Newt: he loves sweet foods but also loves spicy food, adores pineapple with his whole heart

Thomas: loves salty food, not the biggest fan of spice. Loves carrots and apples though (the carrot one is canon I think)

Going on about food, they share food without question. Apple? Cut in half. Got a snack? Got extra for the other. The other still has food on their plate (very rare) the other will finish it off.

In the wicked facility whenever Thomas ever saw Newt besides sneaking out (rare af) sometimes they would purposely bump into each other just for an excuse to say hi, very very quickly whispering anything important before being ushered away

Sometimes, the others wouldn’t be there when Thomas snuck around so there were a handful of times it was just Thomas and Newt. Newt remembers this and told Thomas, Thomas however doesn’t and is very sad about it. :(

They have perfected lip reading to a tee. Having full on silent convos while everyone else is just like “really?! AGAIN?” Example:

*Newt and Thomas silently talking, gesturing a fuckton with there faces*

Minho: *whispers to Brenda* I’m slowly figuring out that lil shucking language they got going on

Brenda: *whispers back* how?!

They started learning in the scorch, since they rarely got a moment alone they would silently talk strategy. Slowly but surely it turned into silent flirting in the safe haven so Newt will just mouth something and and Thomas will go OUTLOUD “NEWT. NOT HERE!!” “Tommy they don’t know what I’m saying remember??” “… oh yeah”

Before they got together they got into heated arguments and even got slightly physical, all jokes of course but they would shove eachother around and grabbing each others shirts to “emphasise their point” (GAYYYY 🫵🫵🫵🫵)

Another long yap session, expect more. Also new lil fic on working on but do not threat!! I bet on losing dogs chapter 4 IS COMING OUT SOON. And I may write a short lil spin off of Thomas’s worst flare moments in his pov if yall would enjoy that. And soon one of my moots requested a Jeff x reader fic I usually don’t write those but that will be out soon too!!