#after I realised I couldn't do that because I wasn't capable of doing all I needed to on my own

[t3a-tan]

How would Oliver handle a human child that didn't have bad intentions but was not gentle enough? Let's say the kid just doesn't really understand the terms "gentle" and "fragile" well enough to know how to handle Oliver and somehow he ended up being held by them? He is so good with kids that I wanna see how he handles that

I had a lot of fun with this! Enjoy ^^

Word Count: 4071

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Oliver couldn't stand seeing upset children. Not because they annoyed him, but because sometimes you could tell just by looking at these children that they were being neglected in some way. Part of him was sympathetic— he had seen so many human couples in his travels and research, and it was often the case that the neglect was unintentional.

But still. Oliver couldn't help but intervene in some cases. Below a certain age it was too dangerous to approach a child— infants and young toddlers tend to put things to their lips, because that's how they explore new things; ie. Oliver.

Past that it was still risky, but he could handle the bruises. Children could be a lot more delicate than most think— once they are capable of reasoning and can communicate, it's simply a matter of finding how best to deal with that particular child in order to get what they need; whether that's food, attention, or entertainment.

Today, whilst checking the houses to update any files he had, he noticed a young child— perhaps only 3 or 4— who had been left all alone. No car in the driveway, no one else in the house. Their face was a bit red and eyes a bit watery, as if they had only stopped crying maybe ten or so minutes before he arrived, but they were still hiccuping and gasping every now and then, in distress.

After checking over his file and taking a look at the calendar in the kitchen, it became clear what had happened. Both parents had left to work and forgot to drop their toddler off at nursery— perhaps just because they were tired, or maybe because both thought the other would do it.

The toddler was half dressed too, so maybe they were in a rush; one parent could have gotten the toddler half dressed and then headed off and told the other to deal with it, only for a miscommunication to happen and…the poor babe be left alone.

With that investigation done, Oliver could not just stand by in the walls and watch. He could not rely on one of the parents realising what had happened, and the longer this went on the more likely it would result in trauma for the child. It may already be the case— though he hoped not.

Three or four…that was a pesky age. Some children that age could reason fairly well— some could not.

Oh well… I will just have to try my best.

He could see a few notes on the counter or up on the fridge mentioning a name that was likely the toddler's; Ava. With that in mind, he made his way to the living room, which is where she was currently sitting and staring at the door. He took off his glasses and left them in the walls beforehand, not wanting them to get broken.

Starting high was safer. From there he could gauge her reaction without risking a sudden grab or curious fingers.

“Ava?” He spoke out from on top of a toy box— the top of which was just slightly hard to reach. He stood still, watching as her head swivelled around to look at him, though she didn't move towards him at all, looking at him with a very neutral expression despite the sniffling. Oliver smiled a little, crouching down despite the fact that really he was the shorter one in this situation. It was instinct.

“Hello there…mummy and daddy went to work, didn't they?” He asked. That got a response immediately and she nodded quickly, inhaling some snot from all the crying as she began to speak, on the verge of crying again as if Oliver had just reminded her what she was upset about in the first place.

Most of it was incoherent— but it wasn't babbling, so that meant she was at a normal rate of speech. From what he could make of it, she was mostly repeating ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’, mentioning a car, using the word ‘gone’, and it was clear that she was telling him exactly what he asked; her mum and dad had gone to work and she got left behind in the rush of things.

Oliver gestured calmly with his hands, showing his palms as he took on a reassuring demeanour.

“Shhh…shhh…it's alright. Mummy and daddy are going to come back.” He assured, reminding himself that children that age are more likely to understand positive language rather than if he said that her parents are not gone. “We're just doing nursery at home today, okay? Does that sound fun?”

She shook her head and wiped at her face, already starting to get upset again, looking around as if her mum and dad might just be behind her.

“N…no…” She hiccuped, voice trembling. “Mummy and…d-daddy…nn— need to…take me…”

Oliver's expression softened, his chest feeling tight at the sight. He tilted his head ever so slightly, debating whether or not he could safely be held by this child or not.

“Ava? Ava, look at me. How old are you, do you know that?” He asked, leaning down a bit. Luckily she did look up at him again, peeking through her fingers and wiping at her snotty red nose with her little hands. She sniffled again, eyes watery, but processing Oliver's question and answering in turn.

“F…four…” She murmured, voice still wobbly through her slightly uneven breathing. It was on the older end of the range Oliver had guessed, which was good, but it was still ultimately a risk.

Oh sod it. If I don't do something now she will get even more agitated and upset. Talking won't hold her attention enough.

He smiled down at her.

“Wow… you're such a big girl! And you know your own age too— very clever.” He gave her a moment to process that before continuing with a question, trying to lead gently into things to avoid making her scared of him. “Did they teach you that in nursery, Ava?”

She nodded slowly, looking up at him with rounded eyes, her lips a little purple from all the crying earlier. Thankfully, despite how she was anxiously fidgeting; rocking back and forth or clenching her shirt in a fist every now and then; it wasn't too difficult to draw her attention away from her missing parents.

“I can…I can…count…all way…to ten!” She responded slowly, wiping her watery eyes again and scooting a bit closer to the toy box Oliver was perched on.

“Can you? Oh, I would just love to hear that. Can you count to ten for me?” He requested. The more at ease she was, the less likely she was to squeeze him to death once he was in her hands. Not to mention the more comfortable she would be with him.

Ava nodded and began to count, looking up and to the side as she thought about it, slowly getting through the numbers, although she repeated some due to her frazzled state. Her voice was still shaking as she took in shuddering breaths every so often, but it wasn't as close to hyperventilating as before.

Oliver clapped his hands together, beaming.

“Bravo, bravo..! Hmm… I'm sure you also have lots of toys at nursery. Is that right?” He asked, getting a nod in return. If he could keep the child entertained until her parents got back, then hopefully this incident wouldn't repeat itself. “And you have lots of toys in this box too, don't you?

She nodded again, bright blue eyes staring up at him with much less wariness than before. She even scooted a big closer, wobbling to her feet and gripping onto the lid of the toy box as she stared at Oliver with some curiosity now.

That's good. Not for my ribs, but good for my mission.

As she leaned on the box it tipped towards her slightly and Oliver just managed to keep his balance. He quickly regained his composure, and walked slowly towards the right until he could simply hop off of the toy box and onto the TV stand right beside it. It was a bit lower down, certainly within reach, but he was pleased to see Ava was only watching him instead of grabbing him immediately.

“Can you show me your favourite toys?” He asked, gesturing encouragingly towards the toy box and sitting down on the edge of the stand, letting his legs dangle off of the edge as he watched, expression bright and warm.

Latching onto the distraction immediately without even understanding that Oliver was trying to distract her, Ava pried open the fabric lid and stuck out her tongue in concentration as she tried to pull out any of her toys. After a few attempts she let out an agitated whine, growing irritated. Oliver was about to intervene when she accidentally knocked the entire box over as she pulled her arms back out.

She stumbled back and fell onto her bum as the box fell, but she was completely unharmed. She momentarily examined her arms with an upset expression, anticipating injury despite their being none. Quickly, Oliver interjected.

“Good thinking! It will be much easier to get them out like this. Clever girl.” He praised, seeing how her eyes locked onto him and a small smile cracked across her expression, arms forgotten about as she quickly focused back on the toys again, getting on her hands and knees, just grabbing whatever was closest and beaming as she showed it off to him.

He chuckled slightly, leaning forward onto his hands as he engaged with her, getting more of a feel and understanding of her personality. Like most four year olds, she soaked up praise and attention like a sponge— but she seemed to roll with things much more smoothly than others her age might have. She was resilient, and self assured; even if Oliver needed to guide her there every now and then.

“Is that your favourite?” He asked, tone full of interest and wonder, as if he was just as excited about the random plastic tractor as she was. She nodded excitedly.

“And— and it's got…it's got um… a farmer. Called…Emma…” She announced happily, quickly dropping the toy onto the carpet as she searched for the farmer. During her search though she got distracted by the other things in there, showing them off only halfway as she piled the various toys around her.

She was playing with and fidgeting with them all individually, monologuing about what she was doing in what was mostly just incoherent babble due to her being unable to pronounce most of the words. That didn't stop her though, and Oliver happily listened, paying attention and engaging every now and then to assure her that all eyes were on her at that moment.

This worked for about twenty minutes until she started getting bored playing all by herself. She looked at Oliver, her red cheeks and purple lips having returned to normal by now since she was no longer crying, the snot having dried to her face. She waddled over to him and Oliver sat up straight, but didn't jolt or make any sudden movements.

She smiled as she snatched him off of the edge of the TV stand, Oliver just barely holding in a yelp as he had seen the hand coming at the last second. He winced, arms held awkwardly to his sides by her grubby fingers and causing his elbows to dig into his ribs a little. Her grip was tight enough to bruise and almost pushed all the breath out of him, but it was just loose enough for him to breathe.

“Ava— can you try to be gentle, please?” He asked, voice coming out a bit strained despite himself. He pulled his grimace into a calm smile, maintaining the same warm reassuring demeanour despite the aching pain in his body.

She paused for a moment, blinking down at him owlishly, not understanding what he meant. Her hesitation didn't last long though as she settled back down by the toys, laying down on her stomach and holding Oliver in front of her innocent eyes, her other hand coming closer to feel his hair curiously, mesmerised.

Oliver held still— squirming would either cause her grip to tighten, which could very easily break his bones, or it might make her afraid of him. He masked a groan of pain by clearing his throat, still smiling as her tiny but surprisingly strong fingers pushed his head to the side slightly.

“You're…as small as Emma..!” She declared excitedly, and Oliver winced when that grip tightened a bit more in turn. Any more and it could quickly become dangerous for him. He recalled the farmer she mentioned before and the size comparison— he wasn't unused to being compared to a doll.

“Oh yes, you're absolutely right! Good girl. I am just the right size for her tractor too, aren't I? Can you put me in the tractor, Ava?” He asked, trying to calmly redirect her and free himself in the process as soon as possible, as it was now difficult to inhale. His ribs creaked in protest, but he fought off the instinct to kick at all.

Perking up at the suggestion she immediately nodded, sitting up on her forearms as she looked for the tractor and finding it quickly. Once she had she shuffled around to face it, resting her cheek on the ground and smiling as she lowered Oliver into the seat of the plastic tractor.

Oliver released some of the tension that had been growing in his shoulders, inhaling some much needed air as he sat back on the slightly too large plastic seat. Just as he was in the middle of recovering though his hands instinctively clutched the fake pink wheel in front of him as the tractor; and he along with it; was suddenly lifted into the air.

It was very disorienting to fly through the air like he was as Ava delightedly made chugging sounds and waved the tractor around to pretend it was driving, but it was preferred to the death grip she had held him in before. After a couple of minutes of holding on for dear life and just trying to pretend he was on the back of his bird steed instead, the tractor finally stopped moving around as he was instead held up close to her eyes.

Oliver was a bit shaky from the sequence of events so far, but he still managed to smile up at the giant toddler.

I'm not sure how many hours I'll be able to handle this. I need to try to explain how fragile I am to her…

Before he could even attempt that though, Ava was already speaking.

“I'll be the… the mummy and you can be the baby..!” She announced, and it was not so much a question as it was a role that, to her, Oliver was already accepting. That became clear when she began to babble about the setting and other stuff, but Oliver was more focused on the hand approaching him.

“Ava, listen to me.” He spoke with a slightly firmer tone than before, due to how dangerous this could get without intervention. She recognized that, her smile dropping and hand falling back immediately, eyes completely focused on him. He suspected he had very little time before she would lose that focus and grab him again anyway, but he sighed in relief that she had stopped.

Looking up at her, Oliver could tell plainly that his seriousness was putting her on edge. So, he shifted his time to be more light-hearted again as he smiled.

“I have a game for us to play. But you have to listen really closely to the rules, okay? Are you going to be a good girl and listen?” He asked.

His return to being more playful made her relax again, and she nodded eagerly at the sound of a game idea. Oliver was relieved. Some children were determined to get their own way, and would simply ignore the idea of another game for the sake of playing what they wanted to.

“I'm a good girl…a-already..!” She pointed out, a bit tongue-tied as most toddlers were. Oliver let out a small chuckle. It was easy to forget how dangerous young children could be when staring up into their innocent gazes.

“You're absolutely right. But, I still want you to listen, okay?” He emphasised, wanting to keep her on track. He cleared his throat. “Do you know about…Goldilocks and the three bears?”

She perked up and nodded, putting the tractor down in favour of leaning on her forearms and looking at Oliver that way. Taking advantage of the solid ground, he climbed out of the driver's seat and stood on legs that felt a bit like jelly from all the jostling that had been done to him earlier. She thankfully did not seem to have a problem with it, instead only taking the opportunity to reach ahead and give Oliver a small poke.

He stumbled ever so slightly, but got his balance back immediately and showed no reaction to the poke to avoid sparking any interest in that interaction. Not until he was sure she understood she needed to be gentle, and he could already tell she was getting distracted.

“In this game, you get to be Goldilocks!” He announced, adding a bit of theatrical flare to his words to make the idea sound as exciting as possible. It seemed to work as he saw her shift with excitement, eyes gleaming with joy. “Do you want to guess what I'll be?”

Ava ummed and ahhed about it for a few moments before looking down at him with a bright expression.

“Bear!” She guessed. That was exactly the answer Oliver was expecting and it made sense for a child of her age to guess that.

“That's a great guess! You were close too. Both things start with a ‘buh’ sound after all.” He praised, emphasising the phonics with enthusiasm. “I'm going to be…a bed.”

The toddler giggled, rolling on the floor restlessly as she took in Oliver's words. She looked at him, now laying on her back and seeing him upside down, thoroughly entertained by the sight and thought. As Oliver wanted, she was hooked.

“You— can't be a…a bed..! Beds are for sleeping..!” She pointed out, finding the absurdity extremely amusing, and intrigued by Oliver's game. He was quick to play into her playful manner, taking on a more humorous tone.

“Ah, you're right! Beds are for sleeping…it would be a bit silly for you to sleep on me, wouldn't it?” He pointed out, eliciting a squeal of laughter. Ava rolled back onto her front, gaze still focused on him, and hands thankfully clutching the front of her shirt instead of him. Oliver smiled, and continued.

“No, of course not… But, just like Goldilocks found a bed that was just right, I want you to do the same thing. And when I tell you it's just right, you win! If you win 10 whole times, you get a prize. Does that sound fun?”

Really it was a very convoluted way of explaining things, but Ava seemed to engage best with praise and play, so Oliver was trying to incorporate that as much as possible to keep her happy.

Ava nodded again, so Oliver explained the rules more clearly.

“First, you're going to pick me up. If you hold me too tight I'll say ‘too hard’. If you hold me not tight enough I'll say ‘too soft’. But if you hold me gently, I will say ‘just right’. When I say ‘just right', put me back down and we'll play again. Ready?”

Without waiting for him to say go, she was already reaching forwards and picking him up, her fingers quickly squeezing onto him in the same painful grip as before. Oliver expected that for a start, and strained to speak, hopeful that this method would work.

“Too hard…” He tried to keep a light tone despite the fact that all of the air was being pushed from his lungs by those deceptively small fingers. Realising that winning wasn't as easy as she first thought, Ava concentrated; tongue sticking out again as she opened her fingers a bit. The grip was much too loose, and Oliver dropped a little because of it, having to cling onto her fingers to keep from falling.

“Too soft..!” He spoke through his big inhale of needed air, relieved at the lack of broken bones despite knowing that this would involve a few rounds of trial and error before she would consistently know the right level of pressure. The fingers closed in again, just on the edge of being too tight. But, as it was close enough, and to avoid making her lose interest too quickly, he counted it.

“Just right! Very good job, Ava. That's 1 win!” He praised. “Aren't you clever?”

The process repeated again and again, and to keep Ava's engagement with the game Oliver offered up rewards in between rounds— like a finger five (which she liked a lot) and invisible stickers. By the seventh round she had learned that ‘just right’ was closer to ‘too soft’ than ‘too hard’, and so Oliver wasn't worrying about having his ribs broken each round anymore.

They reached round 10 very quickly, and she got ‘just right’ immediately, much to her delight and pride.

“That was incredible, Ava! I'm impressed that you got the hang of that so quickly.” He smiled genuinely. Although the bruises from earlier were bad and would take a while to heal, at least he could rest assured that he had a method to help prevent further bruising. “Your prize is… I'll play any game you want.”

Already he could feel the fingers begin to tighten again as her focus turned away from her grip and to thinking of a new game.

“But!” Oliver quickly interjected, stopping her in her tracks. “I'm still going to tell you if it's just right or not when you hold me, okay? Just to test if you're paying attention.”

It was all continuing to go relatively well, and Oliver was perfectly content playing along with the child's imaginative play provided his bones stayed intact. Whenever Oliver felt her grip getting too tight or too loose he made sure to correct her and heaped her with lots of praise once she got it right.

Ava had completely forgotten about her parents being gone, just enjoying playing games with Oliver.

Faintly, he heard the sound of a car pulling up beside the house, and although he wasn't sure if it was one of her parents or not, it was soon confirmed by the sound of the front door unlocking. Ava also paused when she heard the door, sitting up a bit and turning around, her fingers held in her mouth as she stared.

A woman burst into the living room, letting the door swing open and not bothering to close it as she spotted Ava on the floor. As soon as the toddler saw her mother, her grip on Oliver completely released as she began crying again, immediately returning to the same distress as before now that she remembered what had happened. Her little hands instinctively reached towards the woman, making grabbing motions.

Oliver landed on the carpet with a small ‘oof’, before backpedalling into the shadows under the TV stand, watching as the mother rushed over and scooped up the crying toddler, apologising profusely and smothering her in affection to try to get her to calm down.

He smiled slightly at the sight, relieved that Ava was now in her caretakers hands again. His body was equally relieved, and he winced as a pang of pain shot out from the various bruises he had acquired whilst entertaining the curious toddler.

He didn't stick around for too long after, once he was sure that Ava was going to be well taken care of. He managed to find the entrance he had come out from in the first place, retrieving his glasses and placing them on his face. His finger pushed at the bridge to put it in the right place again as he slung his pack over his shoulder and walked outside to whistle for Gale.

I'll have to cut this trip short…but the bruises were well worth it.

[david-watts]

I think over covid my m*ther was using the situation to make me not hate her for being a kinda terrible person but I'm having realisations because currently I don't have the threat of my grandmother hanging over my head. how fucked up is it that she refused to let me pursue university on my own terms

[vellichxrr6782]

please please please write alhaitham being WHIPPED for his cute short lover

— aiming low, aiming high.

character[s] — alhaitham. theme & genre — alhaitham helps you place a book on the shelf, but not without slipping a few teasing remarks about your height. cw/tw — none. word count — 800+ words. a/n — when im short but i cant write short reader and when i kin alhaitham but i cant write alhaitham 💔💔

alhaitham is a man of great restraint, which all seemingly disappears when it comes to you, his lover. a few months ago, you started dating the scribe, who was the dictionary definition of stoic and unassuming. he didn't quite care for attention from those he wasn't privy to.

but he found himself wanting your attention all the time. it was an odd feeling for him; to be so... dependent. he was used to doing things alone, but then you appeared like some sandstorm, wrecking any level of control he had in his life.

he was sitting at his desk, while you sorted through his books. he'd given you a pattern that he preferred to have his books arranged in, when you'd said something about how messy his office was.

"i don't need it to be clean when i know exactly where everything is." he had told you. "if your desk has books on it, where will i sit?" "on the chair." "..."

alhaitham saw you reach up, holding an ivy book with gold cutouts. it was a heavy book, and you struggled to hold it properly and push it into the slot. due to your small stature, you had to stand on your tip-toes to try and reach it.

a slight smile (yet another thing he couldn't control because of you) made its way onto his lips as he observed you. you were... well, if he had to put it objectively, short.

the height difference between you two was rather prominent. alhaitham was tall to begin with, and he'd never really cared for his height until he met you. he enjoyed being the taller one, more than he'd like to admit. it was amusing to him, to provide absent-minded musings about your short stature, and even more amusing seeing your expected reactions.

he loved it when you looked up at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, he loved it when you fit so snugly against his body when you two cuddled at night, and he loved the feeling of towering over you because it made him feel like he was protecting you.

not that you really needed any protecting. you were well capable of dealing with people. they say the smallest people have anger that's more concentrated; and he found it to be true when it came to you. you were vibrant in your expressions, quite different to him.

you were like the sun, and he was the moon. and even the moon sought the sun's light, after all.

you didn't realise when he'd snuck up behind you, both hands wrapping around your waist. he bended down to rest his chin on your shoulder, taking in the scent of your freshly washed clothes. there was a soft warmth in your embrace, what he'd define nostalgically as home.

"need some help, habibti?" he murmured, his voice low, his heated breath hitting your ear in a way that made you shiver.

"i'll be fine," you replied, warding off the butterflies in your stomach, "it's a book."

"this book seems to be greatly troubling my lover," he said, clicking his tongue disapprovingly. "i can't stand to see you in such perplexion. should i deal with it for you?"

you flushed a little at him calling you his lover. he'd said it before, but it felt odd to hear someone like him say the word as if he was saying hello. he didn't wait for your response, his hand grasping yours atop the book, deftly wrestling the book out of your hold and placing it into the slot.

you coughed, once, turning to meet his gaze. you had to look up at him, your eyes narrowing into an unamused expression when you saw that smirk on his lips.

"i'm expecting a comment about my height." you said, crossing your arms.

"i wasn't going to do it." he replied, but you weren't convinced. it was almost like he was holding back laughter. when he saw you stare at him, unconvinced, he slumped his shoulders, snaking his big arms around your small figure.

"i could fit you in my pocket." he spoke, leaning down to rest his head against your shoulder. "like a mini [name]. maybe you could take care of my keys for me, make sure i don't accidentally grab kaveh's."

"and there it is." you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck.

he wanted to pick you up and... well, he didn't think that far. that train of thought crashed the second you pressed your lips against his.

he kissed you back, cupping your cheek. when he pulled away, he didn't really know what expression to make. his mind naturally settled for a smile, his eyes narrowed teasingly.

and here comes the second attack-!

"you're so short. my back hurts from crouching like this to kiss you." he said, feigning a woeful tone. critical hit, no survivors.

"don't make me hit you." came your quick reply. "hit me where?" he chuckled, "my face? you'll need a stool to reach that, habibti." "i can still reach your knees."

posted on 10th july, 2024.

[animeyanderelover]

Anon: If I may, my request is about Soo won (Akatsuki no Yona), Akutagawa and Chuuya (Bungo Stray Dogs), Floch and Eren (Attack on Titan), Sai and Shikamaru (Naruto), Shu and Subaru (Diabolik lovers), all seperate, with an unbothered reader who's stronger than them physically and has a noble and powerful background even though she's illegitimate she's very much loved by her stepmother and half-siblings anyway, her family, personal servants and few friends are very supportive and caring, and she received a great upbringing and pretty much was free to try and learn anything (as long as not too dangerous from when she was like under 12), so she's also on the very strong side physically and intellectually enriched while having multiple skills. After the kidnapping, she turn out to know it all but didn't mind and she could've always found a way to avoid it but she just didn't as she also have feelings for the yandere and already informed her family and friends she won't be there for a pretty long while and to just ignore it, she's very confident in herself and great at communicating when uncomfortable without touching the wrong nerves of the yandere and just enjoy her time with the yandere finely, her only big NOs is threats or actions against people she care about, physical violence on her, hiding things after the "kidnapping" already happened and unnecessary killings of strangers because of her.

Tags: @shumidehiro @swagenemyartisan @cachamata @chxxz @leveyani @izanami78

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, protective behavior, paranoia, clinginess, stalking, guilt-tripping, isolation, abduction

I can handle you

Nara Shikamaru

🦌​He didn't always like you. If Shikamaru would have to be honest there was a brief period during his childhood where he held the belief that you would be arrogant and spoiled due to your rich upbringing. Luckily his father quickly taught him better as he told his son that he shouldn't judge a person before getting to know them better. Only after he took the words of his father to heart did Shikamaru actually realise that he had been wrong about you. Because he recognised a similar mindset in other children that he used to have whilst observing you. Children were either avoiding you since they were scared of your noble background or tried to cosy up to you to bask in your wealth only to talk behind your back since it wasn't actually you they were interested in. He doesn't see himself as a hero yet back then he couldn't help but stand up for you, a naive gesture considering that you were more than capable of doing this yourself. Nevertheless though, it was this action he took that led the two of you to become very close friends over the following years. It isn't always easy with you due to your many hobbies that you insist him to join you but he does it still because he wants to spend time with you.

🦌​Shikamaru's obsession is in a similar fashion almost as lazy as he is. It takes time for his feelings to escalate to the point of a real obsession yet being a childhood friend of yours is a good precondition for it to happen. That is when some problems arise that previous weren't there simply because he has such feelings for you now. He used to not mind that you were always busy with training or doing your hobbies because he knew you'd still make time for him. Now the absence actually bothers him and no one is more annoyed by the sudden change of feelings than Shikamaru himself. It's plainly speaking silly and embarrassing that such things now bother him when they didn't in the past. Everything about his feelings has to be carefully concealed when he is in front of you, especially because of your family. Deep down he starts despising just how much troubles he finds himself in simply because your family is so important. He has a feeling that they wouldn't be too thrilled if he were to ask them for your hand in marriage and his frustration partially ends in him slipping up, subtle words meant to influence you. Your sharp mind sadly always catches on, forcing him to cover his slipup up.

🦌​There are a lot of things he needs to consider whilst planning for an abduction, specifically because your family is influential and important. Shikamaru spends months carefully putting everything together and then can only patiently wait until you finally leave the compound of your clan and give him the best chance to abduct you. Only to find out later on that you had a feeling that he would do something like this but decided to let it happen anyways because you also love him. There are a lot of things he could reply to that yet the only thing he can manage is a groan. Seriously? Couldn't you have told him that sooner? Do you even know how many hours he spent crafting this plan? Shikamaru finds himself neither particularly surprised nor shocked about this revelation though. It is after all just like you to pull off something like this. Now that the cat is out of the back though he sees no reason to keep any secrets anymore which ends in both of you having a long discussion about how things should proceed between the two of you now, something that feels more diplomatic than it should be considering the content of the talk yet both of you come to an agreement.

Sai

🖌️Sai has done his fair share of bloody work whilst working for Root and it is actually through a mission that he was tasked with that he met you. Danzo had gazed upon your family with growing dislike as your clan spoke up against some of Konoha's unsavory incidents and mistakes, something that caused the leader of Root to consider you a threat. At the same time it was undeniable that the support and influence of your family was too important to lose, meaning that Danzo needed a bait to ensure that your family would continue giving their support and benefitting Konoha as a result. That's how Sai was tasked with watching over you, the illegitimate heir of the family who was still very much beloved. If things were to turn to worse and your clan would consider breaking off any relationship with the village Sai would take you as a hostage to ensure that everything would proceed as it had done for the last few decades. Even Sai must admit though that it was remarkably difficult to keep a constant eye out on you. Not only because you were well-guarded but also because sometimes he had an intuition that you knew that he was watching you, your gaze lingering in the direction he was hiding.

🖌️He spends a remarkable amount of time keeping an eye on you, following you from the shadows as you go on with your days. You are very skilled in taijutsu, genjutsu and weaponry as far as he can observe which leads him to start analysing your abilities so that he can counter them if Danzo should give him the order to capture you. He watches you and watches you and watches you until he knows everything about you, can fluently inform someone of your schedule throughout the entire week and knows you better than he has known everyone else in his life, even himself. Unaware to even himself he has grown an obsessive fascination with you, one Danzo takes note of when Sai ends up rambling about you whilst giving his report as he drifts off and just starts telling the old man about everything that he noticed about you that week and about little quirks of yours that fascinate him. He's especially fond of the fact that you have taken a liking to drawing, has watched you countless times in the past either doodling something idly on paper or spend hours painstakingly painting something on canvas. Sai himself has mutliple sketches featuring you, all capturing moments you fascinated him.

🖌️Root is the last restrain that keeps him from abducting you so when Danzo is killed by Sasuke there are no chains holding him back anymore. By now Sai has also realised what this funny feeling in his chest is that he constantly experiences when he does as much as thinking about you. His time in team 7 has opened his eyes and Sakura especially has done a good job explaining to him what this sensation in his chest is. So this is love. It isn't like him to rush things, especially since he is still unfamiliar with love but when you leave your clan to travel he knows that this is a chance too good to miss. He wants to show you though that he is no stranger though you have never met him before so he makes sure to hang up all of the sketches he made of you over the years in the room he takes you in as soon as you are abducted. You handle the situation incredibly well though, handle Sai very well. He just stares at you with his black eyes as you list to him what you will and won't tolerate, the scenario familiar to him as it reminds him of someone giving him orders for a mission which makes it easier for him to understand. He accepts the conditions though as you promise to stay with him.

Eren Yeager

👊​Eren meets you during his time in the Survey Corps as you and your family reside in Wall Sina. You have been fairly isolated from the life behind the walls you lived in as your family always thought that they were better than other commoners. When Historia is crowned Queen and a lot of nobles are stripped of their reputation for being involved with the impostor king you are spared as you offer your honest support for the new Queen as well as the other Survey Corps. You're talented and gifted, everything Eren doesn't believe he is yet you possess such a curiosity of the world outside that almost overwhelms him at times. It reminds him too much of his younger self and the innocence he has lost over the years. Nevertheless he indulges you and tells you stories. Initially he leaves out everything that he wish he wouldn't have seen yet you quickly realise that he is hiding things from you and call him out for it. You want to know the truth after all. You have been sheltered enough. That surprises him but eventually he does as you wish, realising that he was just trying to hide you from knowledge and a burden he sometimes wishes he wouldn't have been loaded with.

👊​Over the years Eren starts trauma-dumping when he is around you. Some of his worries he just feels like he can't share with even Armin and Mikasa yet around you he can. He never explicitly states what is plaguing his mind but you never push him to tell you the entire truth either as you just listen to him and then comfort him in a way you knows works perfectly for him. Maybe that is why he finds himself seeking you out more and more whenever he feels his soul being tormented by the visions that he sees and the knowledge that he can't share with anyone. You're able to put him at ease in ways no one else is able to do and since he has a lot of stuff on his mind he starts searching for you more and more often. He longs for your voice and your gentle touch until it eventually becomes an obsession. He's agitated when he doesn't know where you are and one day without being in your embrace greatly affects his mood and only enhances the silent stress he is feeling. He starts to get controlling, asks the Yeagerists to keep an eye out on you so that you are always well protected. He knows you are capable of fighting yet paranoia outweights any logic he possesses.

👊​The thing that ultimately breaks him is when he starts catching glimpses of the future where you are with him. A path that is shaky and delicate, visions that are like smoke as he is unable to properly grasp them. Eren knows that he doesn't have much time left but he desperately longs for that future that he sometimes sees but if it won't happen by itself he will force this path to appear. That is how you soon find yourself locked away by Yeagerists who keep a sharp eye on you. Eren is fully prepared to push down any guilty feelings when he steps into the room, prepared to appear as determined and cold-hearted. It is your confession of not only having expected this to happen but also of your own feelings that shatters that ruthless facade. You know him far too well to let yourself get fooled by his cruel appearance and perhaps that is why he clings so much to you. You see the vulnerable boy beneath the Titan. Eren expected that he would have to calm you down and even intimidate you so you wouldn't throw too much of a scene yet it ends up being the complete opposite. You end up calming him down as he is the one clinging to you and begging silently for comfort.

Floch Forster

🟫​Floch initially just despises you. After all you are just a spoiled and naive little thing that knows nothing about the struggles people like him had to go through so that your noble arse would be safely protected. Yet you have the utter trust of Queen Historia which leaves him with little to no choice but to tolerate your presence. Nevertheless, he throws a lot of shade your way only for you to reply with an equal amount of sass back which does surprise him a lot. He expected you to be offended or not know how to reply but you are very much capable of standing up for yourself which is something he begrudgingly accepts and maybe even admires. Still, he avoids you a lot due to his dislike. That is until he starts seeing and realising what you are capable of. You're smart, skilled and even know how to properly use an ODM gear despite having never been part of the Military. How do you know how to use one of those? That is when he finds out that you have always been allowed to train in a lot of different areas and that you are not just a weak and spoiled noble but a courageous and talented lady whose assistance is desperately needed for the future of Paradise Island.

🟫​That is when he starts to get jealous. In a way Floch feels undermined, something he absolutely despises. You're probably underestimating him, especially if you were to find out just how much of a coward he used to be back in the days. None of that is true but it is in his head. He doesn't avoid you anymore but instead starts actively seeking you out. He needs to have you stop underestimating him, needs you to acknowledge him or needs to simply find one single flaw that he can target to elevate his own ego. Yet even the flaws he discovers and targets you carry with dignity he could only dream of possessing and all of it slowly drives him mad. He's obsessed already with you, constantly bothers you and follows you around like a creep yet no one can tell him to stop. Perfect. You are far too perfect. How can one single woman be so utterly perfect? You are everything he should aspire to be, everything anyone should hope to be and it is this gradual realisation that is the last push he needs to spiral down the rabbit hole of obsession. Now more than ever he is desperate for approval and acknowledgement yet internalised self-doubt of his own still lets him believe that you secretly hate him.

🟫​As someone who is essentially the leader of the Yeagerists Floch uses the brooding mood that arises within the population of Paradise Island as the conflict unfolds to capture you. After all you are on your own as most nobles who were in power during the reign of the fake king are imprisoned and despised by the overall public. Now he finally has a chance to talk to you, to get you to see him as more than a loser. You should side with him. He can protect you, he knows how the mind of the larger crowd works. In his mind he has prepared a speech already yet you just have to shatter his plans when you nonchalantly admit that not only you knew of his plans but that you also love him even if he is quite a nasty person and that you never got a chance to tell him since he never listened to you properly. Floch is dumbfounded to the point where he stays silent for a solid minute before he starts laughing. He refuses to believe that what you just said is the truth. Because if it would be he would only cement himself further as a fool in his own eyes and would only feel secretly more insecure when in your presence. God, sometimes he despises just how smart and perfect you are.

Sakamaki Shu

🎵Illegitimate or not, your family is one of immense power and influence which gains the attention of his cursed father. Karlheinz shows an interest in your family and especially in you even though you are an illegitimate child. From a very young age on he suggests that perhaps one of his sons should be your husband in later years and Beatrix instantly grabs the chance as soon as she perceives it. Whenever your family is visiting she forces Shu to tag along with her and introduces him to your parents and to you as well. The boy is meticulously tidied up on such occasions as his mother has cleaned him and dressed him up properly, constantly reminding him to be on his best behavior in front of your family. For Shu none of it has ever been fun as he had never interest in being engaged forcefully even though he didn't hate you per se. It is after the death of his dear friend that he completely retreats within himself, his heart growing colder. The words and pleads of his mother to charm you and to prove himself as a good choice of a future husband fall on deaf ears as he doesn't care anymore. He just wants to be left alone. He doesn't care about an arranged marriage or about you.

🎵As if sensing that something is wrong with him, you suddenly start seeking him out a tad bit more without overwhelming him. Shu ususally either ignores you or tells you bluntly that he doesn't want any company and even though you feel like leaving him alone with his sorrow is wrong, initially you respect his wishes. After all you yourself don't know what the proper way to consult him is and until you have figured that out you decide to give him some time. She just appreciates that you left him alone at all. Until one day you suddenly appear again, this time though you carry a violin with you. It does gain you a lazy look from him before he closes his eyes again but he has given you a moment of attention and hasn't told you off either so you see this as a sign to continue. You're still new to playing violin as it is something that you have only recently picked up so you mess up a few tunes yet you still sense somehow that Shu is listening in. He doesn't say anything the first few times when you repeat this process but one day eventually he actually stands up when you are done with your play and asks if he can borrow your violin. You've gotten a few notes wrong. Listen to him playing so you don't get it wrong again.

🎵You know in that moment that you have won him over and from that day on those sessions continue. Initially it always involves a violin or sometimes also a piano as the two of you start playing together. With passing time sometimes he just listens to music together with you whilst sharing an earphone with you or he just simply listens to you as you tell him what is going on with your life. This has been going on for decades, decades in which he started thinking about being your husband in a less negative light, especially whenever his other brothers try to get under his skin and mock him that they might try to become your husband in the future. He sees a future with you, only with you and away from the chaos of the mansion he is living in. That's why he lures you away to the countryside into a cottage, hoping for peace with you in this small house. Much to his relief you have a very calm reaction to it all and he can only give you an amused huff when you inform him that you expected him to try something like this for a while now. You know-it-all. You could have saved him all the effort if you would have just taken the lead sooner and confessed your feelings to him.

Sakamaki Subaru

⬜Subaru has spent more time watching you from a window than actually being right next to you. Whilst all of his other half-brothers were allowed to play with you and get to know you he was kept away from you as if he were a dangerous dog that might bite you. As a young child this mainly just saddened him as he had secretly hoped to be your friend. After all you always looked so happy and pretty whilst playing with the triplets or listening to Reiji when he told you something interesting. As the years passed that sadness grew into bitterness though. You probably wouldn't even want to meet him even if you had the chance. Who would want to be friends with a monster after all? At one point he stops looking through the window, stops admiring you from a distance to not torment himself anymore. As if sensing his growing anguish though that is when you one day appear right in front of him whilst he is sitting alone in the garden of the mansion. He's far too surprised to say anything as he just stares at you but it is the careful question of yours if he's alright or not that frees him from his trance. He stands up and abruptly leaves, tells you harshly that he doesn't want you to follow him.

⬜​He regrets it later that night that he spoke to you so rudely. Subaru just didn't know what else he should have said in that moment. Maybe it's better that way though. Now you at least have seen the real him and will probably ignore him from now on. Only that it never happens. Instead you start to search for him and his dead heart always leaps in his chest when he sees you waving to him whilst he's staring at you through the windows. Loneliness eventually gets the better of him and when all his other brothers are gone he seeks you out. He's awkward, doesn't know how to act around you and at times that leads to him saying something rude yet you are never scared or angry around him. You understand that he has probably had his fair share of terrible experiences in this family and always keep that in mind when he lashes out. You're the first friend Subaru has ever had and he quickly grows attached and protective. He's terrified that one day you might change your opinion and see him as nothing more as a brute, fears that you may prefer one of his other brothers over him and abandon him for them. It should be no surprise that those feelings bloom into a romantic obsession.

⬜​It is when he is informed from Reji that your family considers choosing one of them as your husband that Subaru ultimately falls victim to his paranoia though. After all why would your parents choose him? They will probably choose someone like Reiji who is educated and sophisticated. He's going to lose you after all those years now, isn't he? There is barely a grand plan that Subaru forms. He just one day drags you away with him, as far away from the Sakamaki mansion as he can whilst keeping a tight grip on you. Both of you eventually stop in the middle of nowhere and that is when you finally decide to talk to him. You already have a very good idea what his motives are and your suspicions are confirmed when he lashes out with his overwhelmed emotions. He doesn't want to lose you, especially not to one of his brothers. You're all he ever had. He would have never expected you to confess that you have feelings for him as well, after all he was always told that he was nothing more than a monster. He doesn't believe you either when you tell him that you have feelings for him, thinking that you're just trying to calm him down. If you're not lying though, he'll try. He'll try for you.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke

⬛️It is quite risky to work as closely with Akutagawa as you do. He has a reputation for being aggressive, easily angered and prone to using violence to the point where not even the current leader of the Port Mafia has full control over him. You are very focused on doing what you are supposed to do though and it isn't like you don't know who he is when you specifically ask for Akutagawa's help. Your family has some good ties with the Port Mafia after all which is why Mori isn't opposed to offering you some help when you inform him that you need one of his men to take care of a problem or two. Akutagawa just seems like the right guy to you when you are offered different options and Mori doesn't question your decision too much as he knows that you are pretty good in assessing a situation and making the decision needed. Other people are quite cautious around Akutagawa and you can't blame them. He isn't exactly the most friendly person there is but he's here to get a job done and you acknowledge that. It takes you a little bit before you have figured out what the best way to handle him is but after that luckily you are able to communicate well enough with him.

⬛️The two of you spend a lot of time together and more than just once you have to stop him from acting on impulse. He can't just storm in after all, a little bit of planning is always needed. Despite your position Akutagawa treats you quite rudely when he is mad and somehow you find that quite amusing. It's not everyday that someone gives you such an attitude after all. The relationship between the two of you is somewhat strained but it still works. Until one day you happen to get into a tricky situation and whilst Akutagawa would have saved you, you decide to take care of the situation yourself and that is when he feels for the first time something akin to respect for you. After all not only are you calculated and smart but are also very capable of fighting for yourself. You're strong... Why does this bother him so much though? Unbeknownst to him his feelings have already started shifting and with this arises a fear that you might never fully acknowledge him if he isn't strong enough. It is a fear he last experienced with Dazai only that this time it escalates even further as his obsession grows and festers within his soul.

⬛️Akutagawa is just itching to prove himself which ultimately leads him to abandon the plan you made as he just slaughters everyone he is supposed to target brutally and by the time you arrive the bloodbath is already over. Your mild disappointment almost makes him nauseous when you see the scene in front of you. It is when you decide that he has done his job and that he should return to the Port Mafia that Akutagawa snaps. You're just sending him away as if he's worth nothing to you. He won't allow you to deprive him of acknowledgement and respect like this. Everyone else would be terrified when faced with the sight of him enraged, Rashomon activated and towering over them yet you remain quite calm. Somehow this adds only salt to the wound as it feels like you aren't even acknowledging just how terrifying his ability is. He doesn't want to admit that he has feelings for you even when you point it out to him but he does react when you admit that you have feelings for him, a look of disbelief crossing his face as he analyses you closely to figure out if you're lying to him or not. He loathes this situation as it is as he hates that you are the one with control in this situation.

Nakahara Chuuya

🟠​Chuuya and you meet whilst your family discusses a possible partnership with the Port Mafia. You have quite the target on your back, not only as the heir of the family but also because not everyone is too fond of you as you are an illegitimate child so Chuuya is actually there for additional protection. You don't mind too much since he is charming and sweet. It does annoy you a bit though that he follows you wherever you go though you know that he has his orders and that an important partnership is on the line here, meaning that consequences would be grave if he were to let something happen to you. Whilst it isn't pleasant it isn't something you aren't used to either as you have grown up with bodyguards surrounding you. You're just hoping that Chuuya won't be as strict as some of your bodyguards and you seem to have struck gold with him when you discover that a bit of begging and pretty eyes seem to do it for him. If the pretty lady wants to enjoy her time in Yokohama he'll see it through that he fulfills you your wish though you still have to promise him to stay close to him. Other than that Chuuya just allows you to have a great time in the city.

🟠​You visit the Port Mafia a lot even after the partnership has been formed simply to get out of your home for a bit and every time Chuuya is assigned to keep an eye on you. At this point the both of you know each other quite well and Chuuya sometimes even jokes that at this point you're just hanging out with him for fun and not because you actually require his protection. He's seen you in action before and he won't lie, his ego was slightly let down when he figured out that he couldn't play hero for you but he's just made sure to turn his flattery up a few notches since then. He loves buying you something as soon as it catches your eye even though you could easily effort it by yourself, insisting that he would like to do at least something for you and he always invites you to dinner with him in expensive restaurants. He's not one to deny what is obvious. Chuuya knows that he has fallen in love with you more than he should have but he can't blame himself for it whenever he looks at you. He just wishes that he could do more and provide for you than he can do now. After all you have already everything many people could only dream of, meaning that he has to impress you all the more.

🟠​It's quite likely that the abduction has a more dire background considering the position and the importance that you have. Chuuya can't just simply abduct you after all, not when you are part of the family that his boss works with. Maybe someone did manage to almost get to you and actually injured you, something that would cause Chuuya to act for a short amount of time on his paranoia more than his logic. After all he is a highly protective man. That's probably how you wind up in his house all whilst he is fussing over your wounds before you manage to calm him down enough for him to sit down and listen. It's after he has slightly calmed down that he winds up confessing to you that he can't bear the thought of something happening to you because he loves you and that all he wants is to protect you. This isn't how he had planned things to go, he wanted to properly court you and win your heart over instead of sloppily blurting his feelings out whilst sitting on a couch. He's frustrated and angry with the situation as well as himself until you decide to follow his example and confess to him as well, promising to inform your family that you'll be gone for a while until he's calmed down.

Soo-Won

👑​The Kouka Kingdom welcomes the arrival of your family with high hopes and expectations as you are ambassadors of a neighbouring kingdom with which the current king hopes to form an alliance as the other option would be one of conflict and maybe even war. You are also allowed to travel along as your father feels like it is important for you to get a real taste of what diplomacy is after he has taught you years about strategies, tactics and everything you need to know when you eventually take over his role. Soo-Won and you both share the same thought when spotting each other for the first time when your family is greeted into his palace. Both of you think that the other one doesn't look like too much of a threat but at the same time both of you can't help but feel that there is much more than either of you can see on the surface. You can't help but think that there is a dark determination hidden beneath that soft and fragile appearance and Soo-Won can't help but feel like you could be much more dangerous than you look. It is a keen intuition about each other that both of you share and during the banquet held in the evening both of you keep on glancing at each other.

👑​What follows is a carefully concealed game of cat and mouse only that is remains unclear who is the cat and who is the mouse. Soo-Won seeks you out and converses with you, questions you how you like it in Kouka and that if you experience any discomfort you can tell him. He uses his carefree and somewhat oblivious personality in an attempt for you to let your guard down yet you remain cautious with the information you reveal. Slightly frustrating but also much more exhilarating in return. In some aspects you remind him of himself as you are very reserved when it comes to revealing too much about yourself. As underhanded of a strategy as it might be, at one point he attempts to crack your facade by subtly bringing up the topic of you being an illegitimate child only to be left even more impressed by you when you hold your head high and masterfully answer the question only for you to return the blow as you question him about his own father, especially the crimes he committed. You are a dangerous player on this field, Soo-Won realises that much yet at the same time he can't help but be drawn to you for some reason. It is almost ironic that despite his intelligence he knows so little about love.

👑​When Soo-Won finally realises that he has fallen in love with you, because someone pointed it out to him, he isn't as surprised as he thought he would be. After all it is hard not to fall for a sharp-minded and talented beauty like you. His mind is quickly made up to claim you as his. He could attempt to write your father and ask for your hand in marriage yet he wonders if you have noticed his feelings for you, is curious how you would react if he were to expose his darker side to you. It is this eerie curiosity that leads him to lure you to his bedchambers before locking the door and ordering the guards to not let you out. Any kindness vanishes from his face as he observes you like a hawk, trying to detect any sign of fear on your face or in your body language only to be met with composure and confidence. He can't say that he hates it though, especially once you confirm his suspicion and admit that you knew about his feelings before even he himself was aware of it. You appeal to him though that there is no need for any casualties for he can have an alliance with your kingdom as well as you for you also love him. Looking at you he knows you're going to be his greatest enemy as well as the best Queen.

[greeneyed-thestral]

I MET MICHAEL SHEEN. 16/03/24, National Theatre

So, if you've read my post about booking tickets to see Michael, you know all about my what-ifs. But the day was finally here.

I arrived at the National Theatre, followed all the Nye signs and here's the Olivier Theatre. I made my sister buy me the show's programme, hoping I would be able to get it signed.

I find my seat, I'm not in the centre but the stage still feels very close and you can see everything (amphitheatres are always the best).

Lights out. The audience is in religious silence. Can't believe I'm actually here, this is happening.

[skip this part in smaller font, if you want to avoid spoilers] In the words of Staged, he really loses himself in his roles. First of all, it's great to hear him speak in a Welsh accent.

But then we also see him turning back into a child, and you can totally believe he's young and innocent again. His stutter feels so real, his struggle and sadness too. The entire ensamble is great during the classroom scene, where they all help Nye against their bullying teacher (using those big canes to make him look scary really works). Hearing young Nye confessing that at times he thinks he 'shouldn't exist' because of who he is was a gut punch; Michael's delivery of that whole part is incredible, in that moment he really becomes a little boy that allows himself to feel vulnerable and says something dark to a friend. The way he jumps while saying "I can visualise and enunciate!" made me wanna jump too, he was ready to give up and then he found the solution through books, it's the joy and relief you feel when you realise that there is another way and your life is not over.

Now, I've watched musicals all my life and let me tell you that man is meant to be in one. He opened his mouth and all I could see was someone that had been waiting a long time for the occasion to show his talent, truly showstopping. He was so free and happy and confident, singing and dancing spectacularly. I couldn't stop smiling and giggling, we all clapped.

It's clear he means every word he says, and when he points and shouts his political arguments at the audience, those who feel called out must be shaking; I thought 'This is how people in Ancient Greece must have felt everytime they went to the theatre'. His Nye is inspiring, passionate, someone you'd want to follow, he stands up for what he believes in and lets nothing get in his way.

We get to watch him flirt, on all fours, waggling his 'tail'; everytime we think we've seen all he's capable of, he does something like this and surprises us.

But most of all, we see him being scared, first of having to do something, and then of not being able to do enough for all of us. At one point everyone has requests for Nye and I was expecting him to shout "Heal yourselves!" like Jesus in JCS, it totally conveyed what it must have been like to be in his role at the time, overwhelmed with daunting responsibilities.

In general, I appreciated the fact that it wasn't a linear biography, they chose life moments that have universal situations everyone can relate too, like they do in bio-musicals. I loved the staging. The colour palette is so recognisable; the curtains and the beds are used in many different ways so everything is explored at its full potential.

He is on stage basically all the time for more than two hours (sometimes twice a day, can you imagine?). Also barefoot and in his pajamas from start to finish, he looks like a teddy bear you just want to hug and protect.

He bows, looks at Nye's achievements, then leaves the stage.

Standing ovation, applause. I go back to the theatre lobby, I was supposed to wait for my sister, but she's late. Meanwhile, a fan asks me how to get to the Stage Door. I start too fear that I'm going to miss my chance if I keep waiting inside, so I decide to go on my own. After no more than 5 minutes, he's outside with us. Forget Nye, I am living my fever dream. He has just finished his second show of the day and yet he's smiling and listening to each and every one, signing and taking pictures. I know many have said this, but he really is an angel.

My sister arrives, and as soon as I'm sure she has the camera ready, I make my way to him. The two girls next to me who were speaking to him needed a pen and I lent them my sharpie, so I got my chance to look generous in front of him.

And suddently it was my turn. This is as much as my scrambled mind allows me to remember: I tell him I'm Francesca and I'm from Italy, he asks me how long I am going to stay, I confess that I had arrived that morning and just to see him, that I would be leaving already the following morning. I can't even focus while he's signing my programme, I just want to find the right words. I manage to say how I enjoyed seeing his passion, all these different sides of him and how watching him sing and dance has been the highlight of my evening. We take a picture together, I feel his hand on my shoulder and I realise my arm is around the waist of this person I love. I had to thank him again, telling him that he only deserves good things and that we are so lucky to have him. He wishes me a safe trip home, and I melt. I leave and I can't stop trembling. On my way back to the hotel I hold on tight to my signed programme and the sharpie that was in his hands just moments earlier. Only later I will realise that he's also written 'Ciao!', 'love' and 'X', without me asking for it or anything! Seeing him act live was a big gift already, but what followed outside was beyond my dreams. I can't look at the photos without blushing, the way he looks at me in the video and then also strokes my arm for a moment, I mean pinch me now.

The more I think about it, the more I can't believe it happened.

I want to thank everyone that under my first post pushed me and encouraged me to see the pros of doing this, I share this beautiful moment of my life with all of you. <3

[tkaulitzlvr]

OUT OF LOVE - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: once tom realises how much your relationship has lost the love within it because of the distance he has put between you both, it’s his job to make it up to you.

content: angst to smut.

a/n: my first post!! i hope you all enjoy!

lately, tom and i's relationship has hit a bump in the road. each conversation lit an already short fuse within the both of us, the smallest of words capable of creating an unnecessary yet very real dispute that would leave us silent for hours, and in the worst of cases not talking for days. but it wasn't just the things we said, it was whatever we didn't say, too. physical touch was usually a huge part of our relationship, but now, i couldn't remember the last time that i had properly kissed him. it had gotten to the point where we slept on different sides of the bed, refusing to lay in eachother's embrace as we usually would.

as each day dragged on, feeling like tom and i were moving further away from eachother, i failed to even remember how we ended up this way in the first place. we had a perfect relationship, filled with love and trust, those the foundation of what made us, us. everyone knew that we loved eachother, we were the 'it couple'. whilst we had small disputes just as every couple did, it had never reached this point - yet it showed no sign of stopping.

which is why it brought me no surprise that tom had already become irritated from my single question, asking him where he'd been after returning home late yet again, this becoming a habitual occurrence since the beginning of whatever our distance could be called.

"look, i was just out, okay? what is this a fucking interrogation?" tom fires out, frustration laced in his tone as he throws his keys on the table.

"im sorry for worrying about my boyfriend! i just wont give a shit next time, yeah?" i shoot back, confused on why he acts this way every time i start a simple conversation.

"yeah that'd be great, thanks." he mumbles sarcastically, scoffing and sinking into the sofa, flicking through the channels on the tv displayed infront of him.

"are you fucking kidding me tom?" i utter out, in complete disbelief of his childishness.

despite the clear anger in my voice, he stays silent, shaking his head slightly and continuing to look through the channels on the tv, this only fuelling my anger.

"can you listen to me for fucks sake?" my voice begins to raise as my patience is slowly wearing thin. i walk over to the tv, blocking his view and forcing him to look up at me, his eyes cold, an unrecognisable glare within them in place of the usual love that emits from them whenever our gazes meet. 

"what?" he sighs, rubbing his forehead with his thumb and pointer finger.

"i'd appreciate it if you fucking listened to me, just for one second! i'm tired of sitting here alone, every night, wondering where the fuck you are because you're my boyfriend but i know nothing about you! i never get a text, a call, nothing! instead you come home at god knows what time, and act as if i don't exist. fuck tom, you won't even cuddle me in bed anymore." my voice begins to trail off, tears beginning to cloud my vision, my tongue instinctively hitting the roof of my mouth to stop them from falling.

he stays silent, breaking his eyes away from mine and staring into his lap, his fingers playing with the material of his jeans.

"do you even love me anymore?" i ask, genuinely questioning if he feels the same way he did when we first met, the man that fell in love with me no longer in front of me.

"what? of course i fucking love you. what kind of question is that?" his head shoots upwards, his eyebrows threading together as if i have asked the most ridiculous question, though it was one nagging on my mind.

"really? it doesn't seem like it." i reply, shaking my head and biting my lip, the tears now spilling beyond my control.

"i'm going to bed." i mumble, not waiting for a response from tom as i head for our shared bedroom. the sheets feel cold as i allow them to envelop me, the warmth that i would feel from tom's embrace lost, leaving me empty. it is impossible to fall asleep, my body laid on its side facing away from the door and staring motionless at the wall, longing to be in his arms, safe and content, free of the gut-wrenching realisation that our relationship is not the same as it was.

the door slowly creaks open after a while, my eyes quickly flicking shut as i pretend to be asleep, not keen on the idea of speaking to tom, not whilst his mind is acting so irrationally, mine sensitive enough that any argument would break down my already crumbling walls. i hear the bed dip beside me, tom laying flat on his back, whilst i stay put, not daring to look at him, instead keeping my back to him. the distance between us speaks volumes, tension reaching an all time high.

after a few minutes, the bed creaks, indicating that tom is moving from his initial position. as he has done for the past nights, i expect him to shuffle to the edge of the bed, increasing our already far proximity and confirming the fact that he cannot bare the thought of being near me.

however, much to my disbelief, i feel an arm droop around my waist from behind, tom's hand gently touching my stomach as he tests the waters, clearly thinking that i am deep in sleep. deciding to stay still, my eyes remain closed, accepting this small act of affection, for it is all i have experienced in the past weeks. but, to my surprise, he doesn't stop there.

he moves closer, his chest now flush against my back, pulling me tighter into him as i feel his uncertain breathing against the nape of my neck. my breath instinctively hitches at his unexpected actions, alerting him of my consciousness.

"baby?" he whispers into the dark room, not moving as he awaits my response.

"hm?" i mutter, unsure of what to say, not intending to reveal the fact that i was in fact awake, my cover completely blown as i lay, small and vulnerable, beside him, his body against me for the first time in forever. the uncertainty of what his response will be creates a sickly feeling in my chest. he could want to fight, to let out the last of his anger from our unfinished argument. or, he could want to fix things, to be the boyfriend he used to be. and right now, my mind was going with the first option, assuming the worst and bracing myself for more of his harsh words.

"we need to talk." he speaks, his breath fanning against my neck with each word.

i knew that he was right, my heart aching slightly as the possibility of resolving whatever the fuck we have become finally starts to feel real, not just something that i have longed for.

refusing to face him, i slowly nod my head, awaiting his response, the sound of our steady breathing the only thing to be heard in the silent room.

"i'm so sorry baby." he speaks, slowly and sincerely, his hand that is draped over my stomach beginning to slowly caress the bare skin there, comforting me in the best way. tears begin to silently roll down my cheeks as i struggle to find the right words to say.

he takes my silence as a chance to continue. "what happened to us my love, hm?" he begins, sighing slowly and increasing his hold on me, the pet name causing my heart to swell, making me realise how much i truly missed his affection, wether it be verbal or physical - i just craved him.

short sniffles emit from my mouth, giving away my weakness faster than i would have preferred. tom quickly picks up on this, finally turning me to face him, our eyes meeting, his immediately softening once he takes in my state - eyes bloodshot, tears staining my cheeks, mouth curved into a frown.

"oh baby..." he trails off, taking his hand and beginning to wipe my tears away one by one, the other gently stroking my hair. i melt into his touch, allowing him to comfort me silently. "i can't carry on like this, i just- i need to be with you again, not just in a relationship with you, i want to actually feel close to you again."

he pours his heart out, all whilst wiping any loose tears that fell from my eyes, which never left his, the love in them beginning to flood back as i can slowly recognise the man i fell in love with.

"do you really think that i don't love you anymore?" he asks, guilt evident in his tone as he feels nothing but anger for making me doubt how he felt about me.

i try to find the right words, swallowing nervously. "you didn't want to be anywhere near me tom. i can't even remember the last time you told me that you loved me." uttering those words made me realise how bad things had really gotten. tom would tell me he loved me at every chance he got, never failing to remind me of how he felt. but looking back, those three words felt so foreign that my mind couldn't even remember when he had last uttered them. and the realisation hit him just as hard as it did me.

"oh meine liebe...i'm so sorry." he starts, now slowly kissing away each tear that stained my tinted cheeks, holding my face gently in his hands. "i love you. i love you so so much. never ever forget that, okay?"

i nod my head, swallowing the lump in my throat away. "i love you too."

a slight smile appears on his face, my hand reaching to his head as i pull it closer, playing with the loose braids there. tom takes advantage of our nearing proximity, grabbing my face and gently connecting his lips with mine. for the first time in days, our lips touched, immediately moulding together as if they had never been apart. he smiles into the kiss, moving his hands to my lower back, pulling me closer to him and embracing me, our lips never parting. the desire, the passion in which our lips collided reaffirming our love without the need for words, my body and soul slips further into his touch, reminding me just how much i missed intimate moments like this with him.

he slowly pulls away for air, his lips, now pink and swollen, flush against mine, foreheads touching. "i promise baby, that i'll never give up on us, no matter how hard it gets. i'll never stop loving you, ever."

deciding that actions speak louder than words, i reconnect our lips once more, with much more desire and hunger than the previous one. he picks up on this need, reciprocating it and pressing his lips so hard onto mine that my breathing becomes muffled and there is no option of pulling away - but in this moment, parting from him doesn't even cross my mind. his hand moves to my thigh, placing it over his and kneading the flesh roughly as we lay facing each other, a small whimper escaping my mouth at his actions. our lips fail to part, making up for the lost kisses that we had so desperately yearned for.

lust soon takes over the innocence, my need for him growing by the second as our kisses become harsher, his tongue entering my mouth, mine gladly reciprocating. "i love you." he whispers breathlessly against my lips, pulling away slowly and studying my face. his thumb tugs at my lip, his eyes never leaving mine as he drags it down the now plump skin at an agonisingly slow pace, until he releases my bottom lip, it quickly bouncing back into place, his thumb now slightly wet with my saliva.

"you're so beautiful." he whispers, caressing my cheeks, taking in every inch of me as if this is the first time he has seen me.

"i need you tom." i mutter, looking into his eyes with a glint of desperation, longing to feel him again, our distance meaning it has been so long since we have kissed like we just did, let alone fuck.

within seconds, his lips are back on mine, his body moving in one swift motion on top of me without breaking the kiss, hands clutching mine, mirroring the hunger i feel.

"then i'm all yours." he mutters against my lips, reattaching them and entering his tongue as i gladly accept, moaning slightly into the kiss, a small smirk appearing on his lips in response.

he pulls away, looking into my eyes before reaching for the hem of my t-shirt and whispering "can i?"

i slowly nod my head, the soft fabric being pulled off my body and somewhere on the floor, both tom and i too needy to care where. his eyes scan my body, a hint of adoration within his eyes, his hands reaching for my small lace bra, undoing the back and tossing it aside. he pauses, gazing down at me, drinking in my features, everything exposed to him. despite the look of awe on his face, insecurity takes over, and my hands instinctively cover my breasts, breaking eye contact from him.

tom quickly takes his hands, placing them over mine and moving them away so that he could see me once again. "don't cover yourself, you're so beautiful."

i hesitantly nod my head, moving to remove tom's shirt, his chiselled abs and torso now on display. refusing to break eye contact, my hand slowly runs down the skin, feeling every bump, every muscle there, his breathing hitching as i do so. it has been so long since i had felt his bare skin against mine that it almost didn't feel real, my being lost in pleasure despite us not taking anything further yet.

i soon become impatient, pulling his face downwards and kissing him once more, his hands reaching for my panties and slowly pulling them down, soon removing his boxers, leaving us completely naked.

he pulls away, staring into my eyes and positioning himself at my entrance. "are you sure my love?" he asks, searching my expression for any sense of doubt, hating the idea of forcing me to do anything.

"yes...just fuck me, please." i breathe out, craving the feeling i have missed so much.

he smiles slightly, before slowly sliding in, groaning as he does so, my walls clenching around him, not used to his size as it has been so long since we have last done this. once he is fully inside, he stops. "you okay baby? does it hurt?"

"no...move tom." i reply, and he slowly begins thrusting in and out of me at a steady pace, whines emitting from my mouth as my eyes squeeze shut. his head finds the crook of my neck, groaning into it and beginning to kiss the skin, sucking lightly and leaving marks whilst speeding up his pace.

"oh my god." he mutters into the skin, his hands running up and down my waist until they find a stable hold on my hips, thrusting easier whilst his thumbs caress me, slightly digging in, however the slight pain only fuels my fire, moans now escaping from my mouth.

"oh tom..." i trail off, hands raking down his back, pulling him downwards so our bodies our flush against each other, desperate to feel any part of him, to be closer, despite him literally being inside me.

"i love you so much." he groans out, taking my legs and wrapping them around his waist.

he continues to thrust in and out of me, his tip hitting my g-spot, and i cry out. "oh god, right there tom..."

"here baby?" he taunts, hitting the spot again, causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head. he abuses that spot, my stomach beginning to tighten as the familiar feeling soon takes over.

i clench around him, feeling my release creep closer and closer. "fuck schatz, do that again." he breathes out, and i tighten my walls again, a choked moan escaping his mouth.

"i'm close." he manages to let out, speeding up his pace and capturing my lips into a kiss, moaning into my mouth. i struggle to kiss back, holding back sounds of pleasure each time he thrusts in and out, the sound of my heavy breathing muffled in the kiss.

"tom...i'm gonna, oh my god!" i cry out against his lips, feeling my release wash over me, eyes rolling to the back of my head as i swear i see stars.

"oh fuckkk..." tom drags out, throwing his head back, jaw slack as he follows, my release triggering his own, the feeling of his cum coating my walls emitting another small whine from my mouth.

he moves slowly, thrusting in and out whilst he rides out our highs before collapsing on top of me, sweat coating his forehead. his head rests in my neck, breathing uneven and heavy, planting gentle kisses on the bare skin. i struggle to catch my own breath, my fingers running through his hair, body trembling as the adrenaline slowly wears off.

"i love you so much my love. i'm sorry for everything, i promise i'll never treat you like that again." he says, planting a single kiss on my shoulder.

"i love you too." i reply, tom lifting his head upwards and meeting my lips in a soft kiss, pulling away and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"goodnight meine liebe." he whispers, placing the covers over the both of us as i snuggle closer, resting my head on his bare chest as he slowly strokes my hair, falling asleep in each other's embrace.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[air--so--sweet]

Okay so I noticed in the promo that Viktor doesn't join in with Allison and Luther here.

But I just presumed that was because he wasnt there when Ben died. Diego is offscreen but I thought he was also speaking, but listening back it's definitely just Allison and Luther's voices. And then this is from the in character recap posted on instagram -

Again it's just Allison and Luther.

Which is interesting in and of itself, but it becomes increasingly so when you consider that this was Allison and Luther at Ben's funeral.

While Luther didn't speak up, considering he was so devoted to being Reginald's Number One, for him to even give his father the stink eye was as good as active subordination on his part.

Reginald's speech to the children at Ben's funeral, while callous and cruel, was designed to try and make them a better team, by using shame and guilt as a motivator (obviously it backfiresmd since the academy disbanded shortly after this). Luther is still loyal enough to buy Reginald's version of events where they are to blame...

...but, as I said him willing to throw stink eye shows there were some cracks appearing in his blind faith and approval of his father. Additionally he was closest to Allison so if anyone was likely to sway him and make him think their father is wrong it was her. And if she couldn't sway him there was always the possibility of her using her power to convince him.

This was a problem for Hargreeves, he can't have the leader of the team and his daughter, who is basically capable of mind control, turn against him.

The others seem to be more or less in line. Diego seemed to think they were somewhat culpable based on his response to Viktor saying it was no one's fault.

And, even before he secretly conjured Ben, Klaus didn’t seem interested in fighting over blame so, as far as Hargreeves was concerned he wasn't a threat to his leadership or the stability of the team.

And Viktor wasn't there when Ben died so he didn't know what happened any way and it's not like his siblings held his words in high regard.

So what if he did something to manipulate Allison and Luther's memories to bring them in line and believe it was their fault? Fed them the line about them failing as a team.

It seems none of the siblings know the exact details of Ben's death so it could be that Reggie wiped Klaus and Diego's minds for good measure too, but it could also be that, while they were on the mission they didn't actually see how Ben died, just the aftermath. Klaus was the lookout after all (and likely drunk or high or both) and maybe Diego was tied up in a fight.

Or maybe Hargreeves brainwashed Allison and then had her rumour the others.

Either way when you think about it, we've heard them say very little about Ben's death and what they have said is incredibly vague.

There's this exchange between Viktor and Five -

(Viktor nods in response to this but you can't really convey that in a screen cap 😅)

And then there's this exchange between Klaus and Ben

So the closest we get to specifics is that it was 'bad' and it was 'violent', which tells us nothing really.

Or maybe Ben didn't die violently on a mission, maybe Hargreeves implanted that information in their minds from the start. When in reality whatever that is happening to Ben in season 4 was happening to Ben at 17. After all the one other person we see in the trailer experiencing anything similar to Ben is this woman, widely presumed to be Jennifer. Her having the same symptoms as Ben suggests she has something to do with him causing the apocalypse.

At Ben's funeral Hargreeves mentioned during his eulogy that they'd been training for weeks for the mission Ben died on. What if, during said training, he realised that something would happen which would cause Ben to cause the apocalypse and so he killed him in advance and planted a memory of a failed mission in the kids' heads somehow? I don't know how he manipulated their memories but maybe whatever method he used didn't allow for much specific details so he just implanted that it was gruesome and violent. Maybe even named it the Jennifer incident then and there so as to give them a way to refer to it that didn't require them to refer to the mechanism of Ben's death. But maybe he didn't account for Allison not seeing it as their fault or how Luther might support her. So he had to meddle with their minds further, to get them to stay in line, which is why they are the two siblings who spout the line about them having failed as a team.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Hi! Can you do the rogues (BM, TF, Scarecrow, Riddler, Penguin) and the moment they realize that they are in love with the reader?

Realising they're in love.

Black Mask: It was when you went above and beyond to take care of him. He had never thought about love or any real committed relationships after Tiffany died. She was the first who he really was able to see him spending his life with. There was a giggle. Black mask looked over to see one of the board directors smiling at him. "What?" He huffed at her. She gave him a knowing smile. "You're in love." He answered in pure instinct and immediately grimaced at how desperately in denial he truly sounded. "Am not." She didn't believe him. "You keep staring off at (Y/N) like you're silently begging them to look at you." As if trying to save his dignity, he emphasised his next response. "I do not beg." Yeah that didn't help matters. Then he sighed. "...ah shit."

Scarecrow: It was after he spent months with you on a regular basis. It was so slow that he didnt notice but then all at once when he noticed. Like you had the ability to distract him and he never even noticed. In that very moment he knew you had power over him. Something no one else had. Everything seemed to slow down. The room filled with people now just colours and shapes that didn't have any impact on him. Except for you across the room. You weren't doing anything special, simply talking to a stranger. Yet he couldn't look away- he couldn't breathe. He couldn't believe it. He didn't think he was capable of it. Yet here we was. His heart pounded at the very idea. His stomach dropped with...anxiety? Longing...? Fear? Awe? It all seemed to meld into one now. A feeling that was uncomfortable, yet filled him with reason, drive. It all had a point now, even if meaningless. It hardly mattered. He let out a shaky breath before saying to himself. "Now that's...unexpected." It was hard to say those words with how tight his chest got.

The Riddler: It was when he realised you actually listen to him and take interest. However he knew he was a goner when he wanted you to tag along with him everywhere. He considered love to be a weakness. Being in love made his chest flutter and as happy as can be. Remembering being in love was the worst feeling he had ever known. What came after love stained the purity of each and every love hes ever had. He didnt want it. He wanted to feel self suffient. He wanted to look out for him and only him. Falling in love only reminded him how lonely he truly was. Denial then set in. No, he wasn't miserable. He was not lonely. That was impulse talking. A fleeting stupid thought he didn't have to pay any attention to. Though he couldn't really account for the sinking feeling of doom that came soon after. A feeling only (Y/N) could provide genuine relief from.He sucked in a sudden gasp. He couldn't help but notice her absence more and more as no one took interest in what he said like (Y/N)- "No!"

Penguin: It was when you saw his worth. It hit him like a ton of bricks and he knew it immediately. Like he got grabbed by the throat. So it's a little inconvenient but he doesn't hate it. Although it does make him extra insecure. He also doubts that you'd actually be interested in him. So whilst he wasn't denying his feelings, he wasn't exactly keen on telling you about them... or anyone else. "...oh..." He put his head in his hand. This was a mess. An awkward mess he wanted no part in. Yet here he was in the thick of it. This is why he can't have nice things because he falls in love with them damn it. He needed a drink...and ice cream.

Two-Face: It was when he looked out for you. He was the type of man who would swear off love. Although apparently, if he could swear off love, it was a whole other thing. He promised himself after his divorce to Gilda that he'd never fall in love again. It did nothing for him. It was useless and a bottomless pit of pain. A drug. When you're on it, it's great until you get a bad trip. (Y/N) stumbled and on pure instinct his non-scarred arm shot out and grabbed you, hauling you back up. "Careful..." Harvey grumbled to you softly. Then he caught himself. You carried on with your day but he was stuck in place for a moment. He knew this feeling well. Why wouldn't he when he was married for years!? He wasnt supposed to do this. This wasn't supoosed to happen. "son of a-"

[cursedvida]

Something about Y/N is a bounty hunter and she has been hired to catch Buggy. She infiltrates his crew to gain access to him. At first she thinks he's crazy and ridiculous duda with all his shows and bravado, but eventually she realises that she has feelings for him?

Well i liked this prompt so... I made something angst because yeah.

PART II // PART III // PART IV // PART V // PART VI // PART VII

SAD EYES, BROKEN SMILE (Buggy x f!Reader)

A/N: i'm not really happy about the result but english isn't my first language and it's been a while since i used to write in this language. Sorry for the typos.

Warnings: just angst, swearing and the reader falling for a sad clown.

Wondering how you could have got in that situation was redundant. You knew perfectly well why you were there. It was part of your job, if hunting pirates could be considered as such. Well, it fed you, and for a person who cared little or nothing about anything but staying alive, how you got things was secondary. So when you received the assignment to hunt down Buggy the Clown for almost double his bounty you didn't have to think too hard about it. With an amount like that you could rest for several months without worrying about the money. You didn't know or care about who was after this guy or what they wanted to do with him, all you could see was the string of zeros in the offer. At the time that was enough for you. 

But that thought only lasted for a short period of time. The Clown was not just another regular pirate, he was a big shot. The guy had been nominated as a candidate to be a Warlord, which meant he was no ordinary pirate, and his special skills - which you had researched - made him someone not to be underestimated. 

Whoever was interested in getting him had to have good reasons, something you were not interested in at all, but as you got to know your target better you blamed yourself for not having demanded a higher price. Especially since catching Buggy was no easy task, he had a reputation for always moving around guarded by his crew, which made him slightly inaccessible prey. However, when you finally caught up with him and his crew, all the imaginings you had built up in your head disappeared in one fell swoop. 

Buggy the Clown was, as his name said, a clown. A real fucking clown who spent his days bragging about his fucking antics and didn't know what it meant to shut the fuck up because he was always in dire need of being heard and being the centre of attention.He wasn't a fearsome pirate, he was a narcissist with an excessive need for attention who told far-fetched stories about great feats that no one in their right mind would believe him capable of. He was ridiculous, and the worst thing was that his comrades adored him, they had almost a special veneration for him. You couldn't understand him, he became hysterical at the drop of a hat, he was hypersensitive to any comment that wasn't literally an offering to his self-proclaimed divine power and would go from over-excitement to melodrama in a millisecond. The only thing that was clear to you was that feigning adoration for this jerk to fit in with his band of morons made you sick.

Joining his crew wasn't too difficult - ego-hungry men are the easiest to cajole-. All you had to do was pretend to be a poor, helpless little girl without much talent who had wanted to be a pirate for years and had heard amazing stories about this genius jester who had not only terrorized the East Blue, but had become one of the most feared pirates on the Great Line.Buggy didn't even pay much attention to you, you was too ordinary to interest him, something that suited you. 

"Of course you've heard of me," he told you that first time you met him, when you managed to catch him in a tavern after following him for days. "Hey guys, our little friend says she's heard about the great Buggy!"

That whole gang of freaks started laughing non-stop, as if what you had just said was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Buggy turned to you again. 

"Okay, honey, what can you do for me?"

"Anything I can be useful for."

Trying not to sound too intense - so as not to sound suspicious - you insisted that you wanted the chance to learn on such a famed crew, to please give you the opportunity. The same night you were given a bucket, a mop and welcomed as an unimportant cabin girl. Just as you wanted. 

The idea was to lay low until you had been cleaning up vomit and serving drunks long enough to have access to the captain. You knew there was no point in trying to cut him because of his powers, and if you tried to tie him up he would escape, so the only way to make sure you could catch him was to drug him. 

The plan was a slam dunk. Wait until the key moment to attack and that's it, even if the waiting included having to put up with the bunch of weirdos that made up the crew and the attention whore of their captain, who seemed to have an allergy to normality. 

Yes, it was a piece of cake, or at least that's what you thought until that day when everything began to take a turn for the worse that you could never have imagined. 

"Oh, excuse me captain"

It was a night like so many others. The crew had managed to embezzle from a rich family and had pocketed a handful of gold. In the face of such success they had not missed the opportunity to celebratre: litres and litres of beer, sake, rum and all kinds of alcohol. Food to rave about. The crew circus that Buggy was leading that night was a complete madness. You, on the other hand, remained sober, in the shadows. You picked up jugs, replenished them, swept up some of the mess... Everything you'd expect from a rookie being used as a maid.

At such moments Buggy loved to strut his stuff more than ever. He used to stand in the centre of the deck, surrounded by his entire fan club, get on a box or powder keg and start his show. He would talk about how wonderful he was, how powerful and rich they would all become by being with him, and he would emphasise considerably all that he had done to achieve the goal. So it was strange enough for you not to have seen him bragging around for the last hour, but stranger still to find him down in the cellars with his back against a row of beer barrels and his gaze lost in infinity. 

Buggy was drunk. Very drunk. At that moment you thought maybe the time had come, when would you have a better chance? He was totally idioticated by alcohol, perfect for noqueating it. And his crew all drunk, no one would notice what was going on. 

You came out of your role of useless servant, your senses sharpened, your muscles in tension. The time had come before even your personal deadline was fulfilled, you thought it was your lucky night, but at that moment Buggy noticed your presence, looking at you with glassy eyes and lost because of the drunkenness, and there was something in that look that made you feel a slight sneezing in the stomach that you had never experienced before. 

"Oh, it's you, uh... uh..." he scratched his fingers, trying to remember something. 

"Y/N, Captain," you answered with a fist. The bastard didn't even remember your name. 

“Yeah, exactly…" he said to himself. His head crumbled a little. 

He didn't wear the hat, nor the coat. Her makeup was a little rushed because of the hours he had already been at the party, and his eyes were still lost somewhere you didn't know, but for some reason it caused you so much curiosity that anything else slipped out of your head. 

"Can I help you with something?" You asked, with your most innocent voice. 

Buggy stayed looking at his jar for a few moments and then turned to you again. 

"Do you think I need help, baby?" His mocking tone seemed to indicate no, but his desolate expression said the opposite. "Do you think a pirate like me needs help?"

"I didn't want to offend you, sir..."

When he saw how you apologized, he laughed, a loud sound, but lacking fun in the tone. In fact, his laughter sounded cold to you. Then you realized that Buggy was not laughing anymore, but was breathing a huge sigh. 

"It's better not to need help nor need anyone.  At the end you're always alone"

His voice suddenly darkened and, for the first time since you were on that boat, you felt real curiosity for the man you had in front of you. There was something dark in his gaze, a face of lost innocence that seemed irremediably familiar to you. Without realizing it, you had lowered the guard, and that was only the beginning of your great end. 

"You're not alone, Captain." You told him, trying stupidly to keep your role. "Everyone  in this crew is with you, and everyone adores you."

"Of course they love me" He answered, slightly offended, and then became blue again. It was then that he looked directly at you, and it was that look that suddenly passed through you. There was fury in his eyes, but also another very different feeling, you could see in them something sad and broken, so sad and so broken that you had terrible desires to reassemble it immediately. "Don't you believe it, Y/N?"

The question makes you uninterested, or too distracted. 

“What...? that they adore you, sir?"

"No, shit" he cried, shaking at the drunkard. “that we are always alone."

“So…” You was shocked, it’s possible that you didn’t know what to answer? It wasn't even a complicated or out of place question, what the fuck had you been thinking about? Fuck, what happened to you? "Well... I..." You had to react, you were shivering, you didn't shiver. You took air, trying to get back to your boats, and then you turned to him again. "Didn't we all be born alone?" 

"What?"

"We are born alone and we die alone," you said. "And we live together in the meantime. But we are born alone and we die alone." 

He kept watching you. You didn't know if he was trying to process your words because due to the state of drunkenness in which he was probably not processing half of what was happening around him, or if he really was trying to analyze you. It was somewhat difficult to discern when someone was drunk, the line between curiosity and ethyl coma was complicated. 

It was probably the first time Buggy really noticed you since you got on the boat. Because you didn't want to be noticed, he didn’t notice you, you were good at hiding. But now he had all his attention on you and something shrunk inside you, like you missed the air. You suddenly found yourself thinking that maybe he wasn't as stupid as you thought he was. Maybe that whole facade of bravado and arrogance was just a way to make up all his insecurities,. Maybe at the end he just was a broken man behind so much show. In that moment, as his gaze clawed into yours, you realized that he even seemed attractive to you. And that moment you had to look away, horrified by everything that was going on in your head, but what the hell?

"It's an interesting answer," he murmured. 

"I have to... I have to go re-set the barrels" you finally said, you had to get out of there, the atmosphere had suddenly darkened "I'm sorry, captain."

And as you went out sparkled back to the deck, you noticed something that made you absolutely horrified: you were totally noisy. 

From that night on, Buggy decided that you weren't going to be an anonymous person to him. It's not that he left everything he was doing to talk to you, but when you crossed each other, he always greeted you. And you discovered that, in some way that you were unable to understand, you were beginning to have a very strong crush for a guy who uses make up to painted his face like a clown and was a little bit older for you. 

The more interactions you had with him - very little really, nothing even remotely similar to that night - the more you realized that your contempt for all that circus roll and the freaks making shows had clouded your ability to analyze. Buggy wasn't an idiot. Well, he was, but he also turned out to be a very smart man, was good at planning and a real genius at tricks. Furthermore, despite being always talking about himself and being quite despotic, he really cared about the crew and had respect for them. At the end, you thought that he was simply growing up child  with anger problems, and that was really charming to you. 

So there you are now, you have a fucking crush on the guy you had to kidnap, not knowing what the hell to do because it's the first time in your life that something like this happens to you and feeling ridiculous at the same time because you look like a super stupid fifteen-year-old bitch. You've killed more people than you can count, you've broken bones, cut necks, ripped teeth off, but suddenly you meet that idiot clown and everything, absolutely everything you have worked on so far goes to shit. And the worst part is that you don't even care because you're too worried looking at him from a distance like stupid fool. 

"Hey, Y/N" 

It's Cabaji's voice that gets you out of your mind. Since you had that meeting with Buggy in the cellars you're no longer dedicated to cleaning and serving, now you clean and fix things. It's kind of an promotion, but really no. 

"What's going on?"

"Have you seen the two who came yesterday? You know... those who talked about joining the crew."

"No idea"

Cabaji sits carelessly, your voice has not shaken a single moment. You remember them, of course, a couple of friends wanting to become pirates. And of course you will not tell Cabaji that you had no choice but to open their heads and leave them on the other end of the island when you heard one of the two commenting something about the captain being very attractive and. That information don¡t fit well with your image of a worthless rookie, and it would also be like assuming you have more childish jealousy starts than teenagers and therefore accepting that you're reaching very worrying levels of encapsulation. 

Actually, since you found out how much you like Buggy, there are a lot of things you can't say. For example that you were the one who left that bitch without legs when he dared to make a comment about Buggy’s nose on the last island you passed. Neither can you tell the guys who hired you to hunt him that you don't plan on doing your job and that you've long abandoned that idea. Of course, can't say to some of your colleagues you're in that crew because you want it and not for work. But most of all, you can't tell Buggy that you'd love to know what it's like to kiss a man with a broken smile and sad eyes, but you would be willing to admit any of your other secrets before the last one.

[pacifymebby]

Arthur and a walk with the reader and their child. Maybe they're walking around their garden. Or Arthur tells the baby the names of the horses in the stable.

Fatherhood hadn't exactly come naturally to Arthur. He'd always been scared of having children, scared he was going to be like his own dad - flighty and unreliable - scared he was going to pass on the dreaded Shelby curse. Worse still, scared he'd end up raising a son just as violent, just as angry, pained and fragile as he viewed himself.

But when you'd fallen pregnant the first time he'd seen the tears of joy in your eyes and felt them mirrored in his. Sure, the fear hadn't dissipated and he was convinced he'd always be scared shitless of the wee one - not that he'd ever tell you that - but the second he had laid eyes on her that fear was dulled somewhat by a sense of great purpose. A sense of purpose which had overwhelmed him completely when he'd held your little girl in his arms for the first time, her head small enough it fit in the palm of his hand, her little body so tiny he could hold her like that, head in palm, little feet resting on his forearm as he bounced her gently to sleep.

He'd looked down at your little girl and known that no matter what he felt, no matter how bleak the world around him felt, he would always keep persevering for you and her. He'd do anything to make her life peaceful and full of joy. She was like a little ray of sunshine cut through all the bad, a diamond in the rough. He couldn't stop smiling and even now, a year later, he couldn't help but grin whenever he laid eyes on his little one.

Still, he often found himself at a loss to do. It wasn't that he was scared of her as such, it was that he couldn't quite relax when he was near her. Her big eyes looking at him expectantly. The knowledge that she relied on him completely, to look after her, to keep her safe... It was scary, it made him nervous. Meant that more often than not a lot of the time he spent with her was also spent with you because he knew that you wouldn't let anything go wrong. You would be there to sooth her if he was too rough or clumsy when he was holding her. He was terrified of making her cry, scared even just to think that he might, that if she did he wouldn't be able to help her, would only make things worse.

Today however was different. For the first time since the little girl had been born you'd left him alone with her. He'd been stunned when you'd told him that morning that you had to go out into the city for the day and wouldn't be able to take the baby with you. He'd stuttered and fumbled his words trying to ask you why not, all "but... How long are you gonna be gone for what should I do if.. If..."

"If what Arth? You'll be fine," you'd said with a smille shaking your head fondly. The truth was you could have taken the baby with you, the three of you could all have gone into town together but that wasn't what you wanted. What you wanted was for Arthur to realise he was a good dad, a capable father. For him to realise that his little girl thought the sun shone out of her daddy, just the same as he thought that of her. You'd noticed Arthurs apparent awkwardness from day one and you knew he'd always been worried about fatherhood.

You'd hoped that he'd settle into the role eventually, that he'd realise he really didn't have anything to fear... But as time had passed and you realised he still looked a little on edge just holding the little darling, you realised that you were going to have to intervene. Perhaps pushing him into the deep end wasn't the best idea, but you didn't know what else to do.

You'd already tried gently pulling back, leaving them to play together in the next room, leaving him to read to her, asking him to walk her round the garden when she couldn't sleep. Arthur always managed to stay close to you, to fall back on you. It wasn't exactly bad but you knew it couldn't be a good thing either. Besides, you wanted your daughter to love her father, to grow up trusting him, seeing the good in him. You didnt want her to feel he was distant or awkward. That would be just too sad.

So you'd left him alone, closed the front door and hurried off into the city to spend the day with your friends shopping. And now there he was, sitting at the kitchen table, your little girl Lily sitting on the table, one hand in a bowl of mashed banana the other in her mouth.

"Sposed to eat the food darlin how many times av i told you eh, foods for eatin not paintin..." chuckled Arthur, his low grumble broken by his smile. Lily really was a daddy's girl and he couldn't get mad at her for anything, even when she'd smeared herself, him and the table with banana and honey gloop.

"Right, alright," he smiled tickling her belly through her dress as he reached to pick her up, "you've had your fun with that now i reckon, time to get you cleaned up an then you an daddy have the whole day to do whatever we like, how does that sound darlin? How about that eh?" he said kissing her on the head, using his thumb to scoop a little of the banana from her cheek. When he licked his fingers he screwed his nose up.

"No alright I don't blame you littlen, thas no good for owt but paintin with..." He mused as he scooped her up in his arms and kissed her cheek which only meant that they were both covered in banana and honey gloop.

But once he was holding her in his arms he was once again at a loss, uncertain how he should even speak to her. He'd heard it was good to talk to babies as though they were adults because it helped them learn how to have intelligent conversations, but he wasn't sure he would be much use there. He couldn't remember having ever had the kind of conversation others might consider intellectual.

Besides he wasn't half as gentle talking to adults as he was with Lily. Didn't seem right for him to start talking to her the way he talked to his brothers, nor did it seem right for him to talk to her the way he spoke to you. So he stood in the kitchen doorway looking out at the chickens pecking at the dirt on the drive and he bounced Lily in his arms until she giggled and clasped her little hand around the hairs in his beard.

He grinned, the sound of her laugh was ever so contagious and never failed to make him smile.

"Right well, how about a nice little walk round the garden eh, suns out and I can introduce you to all the animals round the farm eh? What dya reckon sunshine would you like that?" He asked her looking down at her with all the love in the world. She was so pure and precious and that was exactly why he got so nervous to be with her, just seeing the joy and innocence in her bright doe eyes made his stomach twist with anxiety at the thought that he wasn't good enough for her. That he could never be the kind of dad she deserved because he wasn't a good enough man.

But when she smiled up at him and reached for his face with her tiny hand, her stubby little fingers skimming his beard as she giggled and said "dada dada," one of the only words she could he found his nerves replaced with a swell of pride and a smile he couldn't shake off.

"Alright then sunshine," he said with a grin, bouncing her in his arms as he carried her out of the kitchen door and into the garden, the stoned beneath his feet crunching as he made his way to the gathering of chickens on the driveway. He'd fed them earlier that morning but he still had some dried corn in his pockets and he was hoping Lily would enjoy scattering a handful or two across the garden.

"Right then sweetheart," he said using his finger to uncurl the little toddlers hand, "here we are you take some of this shite... Fu.. I mean... Sorry darlin eh, you just ignore your daddy he's a very naughty man eh, you just feed the chickens an ignore him eh..." he grinned sheepishly as he did his best to fill her tiny hand with dried corn. She scrunched her fist up tight around and smiled flexing her fingers a little too soon so that when the feed fell from her hand it fell all down Arthur's shirt and got stuck on his trouser legs.

"You little rotter," he chuckled kissing her forehead as he boosted her up in his arms and helped her have another go. His dismay only setting in when one of the chickens began pecking at his ankles to pick at the feed little Lilly had dropped all over him. "Oh bloody... Go'wan get away!" He grumbled at the hen who seemed determined to peck right through his trouser leg. As he shook the troublesome bird off his ankle Lilly looked down at the silly little scene from her Daddy's arms, her eyes lit up as a giggle escaped her. And when Arthur looked down at her well there was no way he could remain frustrated or preoccupied with that damn chicken.

He couldn't do anything but smile when he looked down at little Lilly, couldn't do anything but beam down at her and press another kiss to her bonny head, heart full to bursting with pride every time she smiled.

"Right darlin right let daddy show you this time eh, let's do it together..." he said taking her little hand beneath his and guiding her as she threw the seed across the path. This time it really scattered and the two of them grinned down at their success as the chickens gathered and began eating the feed from the ground rather than from Arthur's leg. "That's better there we go that's fu... That's better."

Not swearing in front of Lily was perhaps the hardest part of fatherhood. It was the only thing you'd notice he hadn't quite taken so naturally too. Even if he couldn't see it himself, in every other element of fatherhood he was perfect. He was loving, a little clumsy but gentle and nurturing always. He made your little girl laugh like nobodys business. He was always worrying about her, always the first to rush to her side if she took a trip or bashed her head... He was perfect. But he just couldn't control that potty mouth of his. The bad words just had a way of slipping out and you were beginning to worry that when Lilly finally managed her first word that first word would be "fuck."

"Right then little miss sunshine," he grinned bouncing her in his arms, unable to hold back his fond chuckle when Lilly began giggling at his jostling movement, "let's introduce you to everyone eh... This beautys name is Eloise, she's pretty for a chicken ain't she, what dya reckon my darlin? Prettiest chicken you've ever seen right, beautiful, gorgeous bird... And this... This is Audrey... She's a bit, she's a bit stuck up if you ask me like, look at her see, strutting around like she owns the place... And this, this little rotter of a bird, her name's Helen and she's got one bloody... She's got one very sharp f.. beak on her, aye one very sharp beak.."

Lilly tried to reach down to the chickens, stretching her tiny body away from Arthur's and though she was only small, for a second she almost managed to tip their shared balance so that Arthur stumbled and almost - thankfully only almost - stepped on the smallest chicken. That was your chicken, one you'd found shrinking away, not doing as well as the other chicks in the brood. You'd insisted upon bringing her into the house to look after yourself, insisted on naming her too which Arthur had tried to encourage you against. It wasn't that he was cruel he just didn't want you to get attached to a chick that might not survive. But she had survived and now she lived out in the garden with the others.

"Ahh," chuckled Arthur thinking of you fondly, wishing you were there with him and Lilly. "You've found your mammy's hen little one, her names Pearl..." He said crouching down so that Lilly could get a closer look, being sure to hold her up and away from the hens who were prone to a curious peck or two.

Lilly watched them with wide curious eyes, her little smile breaking into a giggle as she watched the birds funny little walk, the way they jutted their necks with each step.

She flinched when Helen and Audrey began clucking a little too wildly for her baby ears and Arthur decided that perhaps it was time to head to the stables instead. It would be quieter inside the stable and the horses were gentle beasts Lilly would be able to pat and babble at to her heart's content.

"Alright little poppet," smiled Arthur kissing his little girls cheek again, his mustache tickling her cheek and neck so that her giggle rang out melodically around the garden. That sound was music to Arthur's ears. It was the sound which reassured him he wasn't such a bad man after all. That if nothing else, he would always know that there was one person on this earth he could make smile. And she just so happened to be the most important person on this earth too.

The stable was quiet just as he'd hoped and where the sun broke through the scattered cracks in the roof the afternoons warm light filtered in and graced the hay on the floor with a golden glow.

"Alright," he whispered, his beard tickling Lilly's face as he leant in to talk quietly in her ear. He always tried to be quiet when he came to the stables. It was such a gentle, peaceful little place and he liked to preserve it. Keep it soft, a sanctuary not just for the animals but for him. "Alright," he whispered, "there's someone who wants to meet you little one..." he said carrying Lilly to one of the stall where the newest addition to the family was standing on shakey little legs.

"But we've got to be nice a quiet eh my darlin, cause he's only a baby int he, just like you... So he might be shy..." he put his finger over Lilly's lips and shushed, grinned when he felt her blow a hissed "Shhhh" of her own against his hand. When he carried her over to meet the little foal he was struck by how similar they were, considering one was after all a baby horse and the other a baby girl.

But they were. They were both so delicate. So pure. These tiny, vulnerable little creatures who depended on him in their own way. Two sweet little lives to be nurtured and loved. Two tiny things he had to be gentle with.

He wasn't sure how he was going to manage that but he knew that since Lilly had been born he'd learnt a lot about being gentle. That slowly but surely he was learning tenderness too.

"Ain't she beautiful eh Lilly?" He whispered. It wasn't the first time he'd seen the little foal but as Lilly gazed at the timid creature in awe Arthur felt the softness in his own eyes. The melting of his cold heart. "Wanna say hello littlen?" He asked taking an apple from his pocket to settle the foals nerves.

"Hello lovely," he said holding the apple out and watching as the foal eyed them warily. He was still working on trust with this one, something Tommy had always been better at than him. Still he was determined to show the little creature his gentle side, prove that he could trust him. Not just for the foals sake but for his own sake too. Prove to himself that he could be gentle too.

And so when the foal approached him, his little legs shaking, Arthur couldn't hide the grin, couldn't hide the swell of pride which rose to his chest and then got stuck in his throat when little Lilly reached her hand out to stroke the foals soft hair.

"Careful now sweetie pie," he whispered to Lilly, "nice and gentle eh don't wanna spook him..." but the foal was far from spooked. In fact he seemed to warm to Lilly, standing patient and still whilst she stroked his nose with a smile on her lips.

"Tell you what darlin," smiled Arthur, it had been his plan from the very beginning but he presented it to her now as though he'd only just thought it up, "since you two're gettin along so well eh, why don't you come up with a name for him? Hasn't got one yet have you mate?" He said copying his daughters gentle movements and giving the little foal a pat.

But when Lilly looked up at him and smiled, clapped her little hands together with this big beaming grin on her face, her wide eyes bright with mischief, Arthur realised that perhaps it was a little too soon to offer her that kind of responsibility.

"Hmmm," he chuckled as he stood quietly, letting Lilly continue to pet her new best friend. He wasn't expecting her to be the one to break the silence. Certainly not in the way that she did... With a word she'd not yet said before.

"Da..." she said reaching out to stroke the foals nose again, "Dada!" When she said it Arthur couldn't quite believe his ears. Wasn't sure he hadn't just imagined it. But when he looked down at Lilly his smile already too much to be contained, she turned to look up at him and pointed at the foal, her own eyes bright and smiling too.

"Dada!" She said again pointing at the little foal, waving her hands to get Arthur's attention - though she had his undivided attention in that moment. He was stunned by her, could hardly process the emotions he felt. Struggling to keep the tears out of his eyes.

"No sweetheart," he grinned kissing her head and turning her round to face him, "that's me.. I'm Dada!" He chuckled, laughing louder when she pointed once more to the foal and repeated herself over and over again until he was forced to accept that when you came home and asked about his day he would have no choice but to tell you all about it. How lovely it was. How Lilly enjoyed meeting the little foal... "He's called Dada by the way..."

Taglist:

@call-sign-shark

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@cocoaflowers

@zablife

@jomarch-wannabe

@itsghostgirlyo

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@everysage

@tommyshelbywhore

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[shini--chan]

hiya!! hope you’re having a good day, could i request 1p! and 2p! canada’s reaction to when their s/o finally gains enough of their trust to cook for them— only for them to try to poison their food? i know its oddly specific my bad lol

Don’t worry, it isn’t bad, or too specific. I wrote it gladly. 

Trigger warnings: poisoning, body horror, temporary character death, descriptions of corpses

Yandere 1p! & 2p! Canada - Sweet Lilly-of-the-Valley

Native to woodland areas, Sweet Lilly-of-the-Valley blooms in spring. The sprays of white bell-like flowers are sweet smelling and the resulting fruit take the shape of bright red berries. In the language of flowers, it symbolises happiness. It is often used in wedding bouquets and to make perfumes. Due to the high concentration of cardenolides, it is highly toxic. 

1p Canada

Sweat made your shirt stick to your torso in an uncomfortable manner, yet you were too tired to take it off, not to mention putting on a new one. You leaned back against the cool tiles of the bathroom wall and closed your eyes. Now, you just wanted to curl up where you were and fall asleep. You were so exhausted, both in body and in soul, that you thought you could sleep for a few days straight, damn the corpse that was in the other room.

Matthew's death had been surprisingly violent, something that you hadn't expected from a poisoning. Poison - you had just murdered somebody. It felt surreal, and the mere thought of it made your stomach twist and your limbs feel heavier than they were. It wasn't like it was a cold blooded crime that you had just committed, so why were you feeling so guilty?

Had you developed Stockholm Syndrome, between all the restrictions and isolation and coercion? Perhaps you had started to believe your captor again, when he explained that he was ruining your life because he loved you? It was twisted and fitted all too well into the mess that your life had become as of late. 

Talking of mess, you'd have to deal with the dead body at the other side of the bathroom door sooner or later. The vomit and blood that littered the living room floor would also have to be cleaned up, as well as the ash that he had tried to eat before he had become too weak to move. 

"I didn't think you had it in you."

Your eyes snapped open and you lazily turned your head in the direction of the voice. Matthew was standing in front of you, looking exactly as he had just minutes after his death. Since you hadn't heard footsteps or the door opening, this was probably just a hallucination conjured up by your overworked brain. 

"You always underestimated me, so the joke is on you", you shot back. If you were going to have a chat with the deceased, best play along and let off some steam. "For somebody that always complained of being seen as weak, you had the surprising tendency to underestimate those around you."

The corpse tilted its head in an eerie mockery of a living person. With his unearthly pallor, it looked like somebody was manipulating the head of a porcelain marionette. 

"So many spiteful words. Why couldn't you tell me about your problems before?"

At that, you snorted. Such a statement was rich coming from him. 

"I tried to tell you often enough, but you never listened. You always just brushed it off as me being childish. But now that you are dead, I don't have to worry about such things anymore."

Matthew grinned at that, exposing white teeth covered in blood. In death, his appearance suited his hidden vileness.

"Are you really sure that I'm dead?"

Since Canada would want nothing more than a "decent" relationship with you, the poisoning would actually catch him unawares, granted that you're not extremely sloppy. So he would die. Before that, he would put up a fight and do his best to get an antidote or some other countermeasure, as soon as he realises what is going on. Should he still be capable of speech, then he'll try to guilt trip or manipulate you into saving him. 

As a nation, he wouldn't stay dead for long. Once he revives, he'll scare the living daylights out of you. He wouldn't have wanted to reveal his innate nature this way, but since you would have left him with no other choice, he'd elect to use the opportunity to his advantage. The ensuing punishment would be harsher than any proceeding one.

2p Canada

The moment he disappeared to go to the toilet was the moment you chose to act. Quickly, you removed the flowers from the vase and poured some of the water into his half-empty beer. To cover your tracks, you poured some of the beer that was still in the bottle into the glass and the rest went down the drain. The Lily-of-the-valleys were returned to the vase, just in time as well.

 A few seconds later, James strode over the threshold and plonked down at the dining table. You had your back turned to him, and busied yourself with the food on the stove. Or tried to, because your hands were trembling and your heart was in your throat. 

You watched his reflection in the window and took deep breaths. James had picked the magazine he had been reading and resumed where he had left off. After a few minutes, he reached for his beer. Upon seeing that you had refilled it for him, he let out an appreciative grunt and a curt "Thanks." and placed the glass on his lips. A usual interaction - you didn't bother replying. 

The feeling of fear soared when you noted his frown, and how he looked at the glass in his hand with suspicion. He spat the beer out and fixed an angry glare at you. Before he could go on a triade, you took the initiative:

"You are darn rude, spitting stuff like that out. How old are you again? Four?"

Now, you turned around to face him. The best defence is offence, after all. 

"Hello pot, I'm kettle", he snarked. "What the blazes did you put in my beer?"

Unlike his 1p counterpart, James would be very cautious when it comes to you. While he would gladly embrace a more loving relationship, he wouldn't let his guard down. To him, it would just be the quiet before the storm. Additionally, he would be quick to taste most poisons you'd manage to get your hands on, being a trained nature conservationist. 

As such, he wouldn't feel betrayed when you finally do show your colours. Though, on top of your punishment for trying to kill him, you'd get a punishment for being cunning. If there is one trait he hates above all else, then it is cunning. 

[signedeclipse]

Hi! If your open for requests I'd like to see headcanons for rengoku, Tengen, and inosuke and with a reader who is blind? I'm legally blind although I still can see colors and vague outlines, I think it be cute!! Please and thank you!!

Inosuke

Inosuke isn't very sensitive about these topics

When he first sees you almost run into a wall, he asks if you're stupid on purpose

After that he might be rough but he will try his best to keep you from hurting yourself

If it happens too much in one day he will throw you over his shoulder and carry you where you're trying to go

He has eyes anyways so he may as well help you out when he isn't really using them for anything!

Gets very freaked out when you accidentally make eye contact with him though

Will literally tremble, he thinks you've gained sight just to spite him

If you really want him to listen to you, you can try to look him in the eyes by guessing and if its even slightly on target he will give you his full attention and attend to all your wishes just please stop doing that what the fuck

He likes when you rely on him a little more though, it inflates his ego a lot

Kyojuro

He is as gentle as he can be with you, while also trying not to assert himself too much in your life

Rather than saying something, he’ll just put his hand in front of you before you walk into something like a wall or puddle so you hit him instead

It becomes very subconscious for him, he does it so much that he stops realising it and you just learn to redirect yourself after feeling it

Kyojuro believes in your more enhances abilities to keep you safe, but knowing his job he has to consider alternative ways to keep you home and safe at night

Would ask you to babysit Senjuro when he is out on a mission so you feel like you are doing something, but he tells Senjuro to take good care of you

Senjuro likes your company a lot anyhow, and finds your home to be very comfortable

He would find your enhances abilities very impressive, like how you can memorise entire paths and structures just by walking around them once or twice

Uzui

One of the first things he ever said to you had something to do with his looks

To which you responded about him being 'nothing more than average'

Ouch but he liked the spice

Uzui wasn't an idiot, but he probably hadn't realised you were blind for a longer time than he would have liked to admit

"You wrote me letters!"

"Someone else wrote them, I just said what I wanted"

Defeated

Okay sure, he knows you are capable of taking care of yourself, but something about the fact that you couldn't see danger coming your way upsets him

I mean, what if a demon is talking you up into thinking they're human? And you perish at their hands full of trust?

Because of this, Uzui keeps either himself or his wives in your proximity just in case

Thankfully you don't seem to mind, and the girls love talking to you since you tend to be the least judgemental of anyone they had ever met

Expect to always have someone who loves you right by your side, even if you don't realise it

Authors Note - Strangely enough I got a very similar request right after this, characters and blind and everything! I deleted it, but then I got another one!

This hit a little close to home, my eye sight deteriorates a lot in one of my eyes every year! Thankfully I will always have one, but still! Please enjoy <3 I made reader 100% blind so its more interesting!

[banes-favourite]

What do you think is Gortash’s biggest regret, and how does that regret continue to affect him?

Man.. honestly I think his biggest regret would be falling in love with Durge. Gortash was always proud, sure of himself and his power. Even at his lowest, getting tortured at the daily in the house of hope, he had a plan to escape. He endured. He put faith in himself and he fucking did it. He crawled out, made a name for himself from nothing, all because of his own willpower. He put his past behind, hid his weaknesses, shoved any type of vulnerability deep below the surface; he was unstoppable.

And then, he fell in love.

Can you imagine how weak he felt when he realised? How much it hurt to know his heart was somehow in someone else's hands? And of fucking course it wasn't just anyone, but the son of goddamn Bhaal himself who swept him off his feet. The one person he couldn't take. The one person capable enough to take him down. The one person whose very reason for existing was to take him down, him and his own plans.

It was unfair and it must have driven him nuts. He was supposed to be a machine - capable, powerful, working to achieve his own goal without rest. But the very notion of falling in love reminded him that he was human and it was not only terrifying, but also inconceivable. Suddenly, his weakness was in the open and his whole life's goal was at risk.

Of course he felt betrayed by his own mind. He felt stupid and ignorant, as if, had he been more careful, this wouldn't have happened. So, he felt regret. Regret for letting it get this bad. Regret for indulging in his desires. Regret for not taking better care of Durge, because maybe then he wouldn't have been killed by Orin. And, finally, he felt regret, because the only thing worse than being in love is the heartbreak that follows. And by god, the grief he felt after Durge's death was more devastating than any regret he could have blamed on himself.

[deepflowerruins]

when zoro is heavily injured

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WARNING - heavy spoilers ahead, bloodshed, crying, starving.

characters - straw hats, brook, rolling pirates (lola and her crew), bartholomew kuma, gecko moria.

short summary - scenario of the post thriller bark arc, reader is a part of the straw hats. brook still hasn't joined.

their fight was already over, the straw hats together with brook defeated gecko moria. but they didn't realise there were more of problems in front of them.

A big man dressed in white and black clothes holding a bible in his hands appeared before them. he looked absolutely terrifying.

"guys, don't freak out, but I forgot to tell you that, he is bartholomew kuma, he is yet another warlord and has come to annihilate us on orders of the government." nami said. everyone was already tired, the fight with gecko moria went on for 4 days. they had not eaten till then. facing yet another warlord was difficult for them. luffy had already passed out from the exhaustion by using gear 3.

"just leave it to me" arrived a voice from behind y/n. she recognised the voice, it was zoro's. he was ready to fight although he was himself not capable of it. "zoro, you're already-" y/n was cut off by zoro "I have to do it for luffy" he said.

"don't you dare zoro!" she screamed back. they were distracted by their talks, while kuma was prepared for his attack. he compressed a lot of air. if he let's it out, it could probably cause the whole thriller bark to fall over.

kuma let out his attack. wiping everything and everyone out. the intensity of his attack caused everyone to black out.

after a while, y/n got up, she ran around very places to find zoro. she finally found him. rocks shattered, blood spilt all over him. he was barely managing to stand up.

"z-zoro?" tears fell down her eyes. they traced down her cheeks and reached her cleavage as she holds zoro.

"h-how did this happen?" she asked while sobbing. but the brave swordsman replied "nothing happened"

"chopper!" y/n called out for the ship's doctor. everyone ran and came to the origin of the voice. zoro fainted in her arms as he couldn't hold himself anymore. chopper quickly gave him the first aid and ordered some rest.

everyone sat in the mansion. ready to enjoy their win, but y/n couldn't celebrate it anymore. she sat silently in the room next to where zoro was lying. without eating or drinking anything. how could she eat when her lover wouldn't?

she patted his head "get well soon, zoro" she said as once again tears rolled down her cheeks.

it had soon been the whole day, but zoro wasn't awake yet. robin came inside the room "y/n, you don't wanna eat?" she asked. "no, I am just fine, I am not hungry."

"do you realise that it's been 4 days since we did not eat anything? It will be almost 5 in a few minutes" robin spoke "it is because of zoro?"

"yeah, how can I eat when he didn't?" y/n replied. she was ready to give away her life for zoro and so would zoro do.

"just make sure you don't spoil your health, or else zoro won't be happy once he wakes up!" robin giggled and left the room.

it was almost 3am in the morning, when zoro opened his eyes "hey? zoro, you awake?" y/n asked happily. he sat up on his bed and gave a tight hug to her "yeah, now I am" "how are you feeling now? do you want me to call chopper so he can check up on you?" "no it's fine, I am okay now that I am with you!"

their fondness and happiness was unmatched. soon zoro noticed that y/n looked pale. "why are you looking so pale?" "ah, it's nothing, just some tiredness" "sure?" he asked for confirmation "yes love, sure"

the next morning, they were awake earlier than others. y/n went ahead to the backyard to sit with zoro who was training. soon sanji along with others, came running to check up on zoro

"my lady, any treat you would like? I will make it right away" sanji asked. "oh, whenever and whatever zoro's eating" she replied. "oh, yeah, I have been hungry, it's been days since I last ate" zoro said.

sanji went ahead to the ship's kitchen since the mansion's was already destroyed due to the fight. he quickly made some delicacies and presented it to them. "thank you for the food" y/n thanked.

as soon as they were finished, they all boarded the ship along with a new member. zoro went to the deck. "hey, usopp! why did y/n looked so pale earlier?" he asked his fellow crewmate.

"ah, we did many things to make her eat but she just wouldn't eat without you! she went hungry for 5 days insisting that how could she eat without you?" he replied. zoro was really upset.

although he knew her well, but he didn't expect her to go hungry since she is fond of eating. it really made him worried about her extent.

he dashed to the crow's nest where she sat, "y/n?! why did you not eat these past 5 days?" y/n was speechless. contemplating how he got to know. he quickly hugged her and said "do you know how upset I was after I heard that?" he said silently. holding her figure in his arms. "just how could I eat without you?"

"me not eating doesn't mean you shouldn't love, it's not about showing your extent to me or others to prove how much you love me, i understand you did it out of love, but you should take care of yourself because I'd be really upset if you don't. you know it well"

"and i still haven't forgiven you for that fight!" she giggled and gave him the tightest hug ever.

[valiantroeagleangel]

Take care.

Jolly Karlsson x female reader.

Hurt/ comfort, shower sex, oral, unprotected sex, fluff.

Mama's tag list: @circle-with-me @somewhere-diamond @malice-ov-mercy @smokeynaomi @darkhallcorner @loeytuan98 @sthnog @cookiesupplier

Had this idea for a while, finally posting it now. Hope I'm doing my boy some honour. You'll tell me. 🫠

Saying that your day sucked was an understatement. It was horrible. You had this important project that got you worked up for weeks and when you finally presented the final version to your boss and colleagues everybody pushed you down saying that it wasn't good enough, that your work was useless and bad. Yeah, today sucked. You thought that after your presentation your day would be better but now that it happened you were just depressed and disappointed. Your heart ached excruciatingly and you wished you could just shush it down.

When you reached your home at the end of the day you were just a mop, ready to drag yourself on the floor without any kind of will. Jolly quickly spotted you as he was scrolling on his phone, sat on the couch. Without a word, you immediately dropped your coat and bag away and jumped into his arms. Your head nestling on the crook of his neck you let out a pathetic whimper.

His hands quickly found your back and your nape, scratching the roots of your hair softly as he cuddled you. "What's wrong baby?" Is all he asked in a low voice, aware that it might have something to do with your stressful project. Still, he didn't want to open the wound directly by talking about it.

"They hated it." Your voice was breaking and muffled by his body. With your strained tone you weren't sure that he could properly hear you but he hugged you closer, his head moving to kiss your hair.

"What happened exactly?"

Slowly you got your head out of his neck to look at him in the eyes.

"They said it wasn't enough, that they gave me this project because they thought I was doing better work than that but that now they realised it was an error." You started to get overwhelmed, vomiting all your stress and anxiety on him because it was all you were able to do. Now that you started to unleash you couldn't stop yourself. "How could I thought that I was capable of doing it?" Your voice cracked. "Now they're going to fire me. I swear Joakim, they were so disappointed and harsh towards me that tomorrow I'm good to be replaced." Tears started to roll down your face, you got up really early this morning and the fatigue was talking for you, no strength left for you to rationalize it. "What am I going to do? I can't lose my job.."

When you finally paused long enough for him to respond he gently cupped one of your cheeks with his hand, brushing some tears that were rolling down it.

"They won't fire you, baby. Maybe it's not you who is incompetent, maybe they were expecting something that isn't achievable." Slowly, to not scare you, he approached your face and left a soft kiss on your other cheek, stopping the tears from falling. "You worked day and night on that project I'm sure it was brilliant. They're just a bunch of assholes that like to exploit people. I would like to see them work like you do. I'm sure none of them is capable of doing it."

His words were a bit soothing to your heart. Jolly was always so kind and tender with you that it was enough to make you cry again. Ashamed and desperate you threw your face against his chest, your hands surrounding his waist. He hugged you back, letting you rest on his chest for as long as you needed.

But after some minutes without moving at all, Jolly started to consider the fact that maybe you were falling asleep on him. Shifting a bit he made you groan, not happy with how he was pushing himself off the couch. "I'm sorry baby but I have no blood left in my legs I need to move a little."

You groaned again, getting off his lap as you sat next to him on the cushion. Jolly sighed in relief, shaking his legs in the air but you were still pouting, the sad expression not leaving your face.

"Do you want to take a shower? It could relax you."

You shook your head, not deciding to move as you would rather rot on your couch forever. You did not want to do anything or to feel anything. You just wanted to numb your heart and emotions down.

"Come on. I'll help you if you want." He got up and held out his hand to you. "Let's go."

You didn't even have the will to protest that, giving in you took his hand and he stood you up. Gently he pulled you with him towards the bathroom.

Still not very determined you sat on the washing machine, watching Jolly desperately trying to get some reaction out of you. Coming closer to you he grabbed the bottom of your shirt, unbuttoning every button one by one before pushing the fabric away from your shoulders. You didn't move a bit, letting him do as he pleased. Once the piece of clothing completely off, he caressed your shoulders, approaching his lips so that he could leave some kisses on one of them.

Your bra quickly followed the path of your shirt, soon meeting the ground as he unclasped it in a mastered motion and threw it away. His lips didn't leave your skin as he kept kissing your chest, one of his hands encountering your waist to push you towards him. At some point you tilted your head back, your fingers finding his hair to tangle themselves in it and you felt him smile against your stomach, happy with your reaction when he pushed away.

He got you out of the washing machine, unbuttoning your pants and taking them down. Less obstructed by your thoughts you tug at his t-shirt, passing your hand under it to caress his happy trail and stomach.

Smirking he quickly grabbed it and tossed it over his head, letting it join the rest of your clothing. His jeans and underwear followed shortly before he passed his hands on your hips, kneading them with his large hands.

"Get them off for me, will you?" He asked, passing his hands under the sides of your underwear as he left you to go and turn the shower on, the cold water running aground the empty cabin.

You obeyed in silence, getting rid of your panties to join him under the shower head. Jolly immediately attached himself to you, his hands surrounding you from behind as he started to caress your belly. His lips couldn't handle being left alone as he pressed them on your wet shoulder, slowly rising to your neck.

You titled your head on the other side for him to have more room to operate. His hands rambled on your hot and wet body, cupping your breasts as he brushed over them with his thumbs, his lips still sucking on your skin.

"Let me take care of you, baby." He breathed out, the hot air echoing on your skin, giving you goosebumps. "Let me wash all those worries away."

This time you definitely gave up. Even if you weren't convinced at the beginning you just wanted to feel Jolly's embrace, as close as he could be. You only nodded, too focused on the heat growing in your stomach as his hands continued their ministrations and he, once again, smiled in your neck at your response as he turned you so that you could face him.

Still letting you under the hot water his lips captured yours for the first time, finally allowing you to relax in the kiss. A small grunt escaped you as you surrounded his neck with your arms to push his body into yours. His hands on your back, they lowered themselves on your ass, cupping it to massage your cheeks.

Breaking the kiss he started to kneel in front of you, forcing your body to stick to the wall, both of your hands reaching the tiles to have better support.

Jolly didn't waste time and pushed your hips on his face in a second. His hands wandered on the back of your thighs, joining their interior. Assured he started to nib on the skin there, leaving red marks darkening because of the water's hot temperature.

One of your hands left the wall to grab his hair, pushing his face away from your legs as you looked down, your eyes meeting. He looked at you with his pupils dilated, breathing a little louder than before. He didn't say a thing as he caught one of your legs, putting him on his shoulder before dipping his head deeper into your intimacy.

You couldn't help but let a small whimper out, your grasp on his hair tightening as he furtively lapped at your clit. Unsteady you leaned more on his face, looking for more friction but he kept cat licking you teasingly. His fingers didn't stop to draw closer to your core each time they caressed your inner thigh.

Already on an emotional thread, you didn't want to deal with his teasing tonight and pushed his face down your folds, forcing his tongue to flatten against your intimacy.

Jolly raised his eyes at you only to meet with your throat, your head tilted back as you breathed with your mouth half-opened, water hitting your chest.

"Fuck", you heard him curse at your feet when his fingers finally left your lap, instantly joining your core while he pushed one into you. This time he put a little more enthusiasm, eating you out with more force as he added a second finger, pumping it inside of you until he reached your sweet spot.

Defining a pace that he considered good enough he caressed you like he never did, focused on every little moan you could make, every little sound that was escaping you or with what intensity you were tugging at his hair. Your legs trembling he kept you in place with his other hand, alternating between his sucking and lapping on your clit, the sound of it making all of the act extremely obscene.

The heat of his breath on you got your stomach tightening, your orgasm growing stronger and stronger at each one of his motions.

"Shit Joakim." You could feel all of your strength leaving your legs as you approached the edge, your moans getting louder, making you bite your lower lips.

"You're doing so good for me." He moaned out to you without stopping himself. Each one of your whimpers encouraging him to keep his pace until he had you crying his name, your vision whitening as you spasmed under his touch.

Out of breath, you looked down, stroking at his hair gently until he got up, still holding your body in his strong arms so you would not puddle down the floor.

"Thank you." You said with a dumb smile, trying to fall down from your high. But it wasn't enough for him. He wanted you to forget all of your worries, to be fucked until your mind would go blank. All he needed you to think about was him, he needed you to feel only him, nothing else. And even if you considered that you were good enough now, you were not. At least that's what he decided.

You tried to stand by yourself to pull him under the water with you but he flipped you down, making you squeak as you faced the wall.

"We are so not done, baby." He pressed his hot body in your back, his hands deepening on the fat of your hips as his member hit your lower back.

You whimpered again when his hand passed to your front, pressing on your belly to rub you on his hard cock. He ground on your ass for a few seconds until he got you impatient, your core pulsing for his presence.

"We're done when I say we're done." His lips approached your ears as he leaned more on you, whispering "You're not getting out of here."

You nodded, your lower lip stuck between your teeth. A small grin settled on your face as his severe tone worked so good on you. A little more eager you moved your ass on him, letting his cock brush between your ass cheeks.

His grasp not loosening itself he kissed your temple before pulling away. His fingers drew to your folds, brushing them as he made you clench over nothing. Your head fell forward, your forehead hitting the cold wall as you pushed your ass up to his body.

"Yeah, show me your pretty ass like that." He groaned enjoying the view you were offering him. Teasingly he rubbed his tip on your clit before thrusting into you. You both moaned at the feeling of his cock filling you up, making your head spin. Jolly didn't move for a while, enjoying how hard you were contracting your walls around him to get him thrust around. The so little pleasure you were getting from this was already overwhelming. Your mind was foggy, these sensations being the only thing you could think about, almost drooling for the pleasure.

"Please move." You sighed, leaning on even more on the wall so you could wriggle your hips against his crotch, desperately working by yourself.

"Should I?" One of his hands fell on your ass, smacking it softly on the way. Timidly he moved inside of you, enough to make you want more but not enough to unravel your hunger. The only thing you did was whimper, your pussy clenching over him again and again until he finally decided that the play was over, pushing his hips firmly against yours.

Still weak on your knees you rested on your forearms, trying to stand up a little to encounter Jolly's hips halfway, enhancing your sensations and the way he was hitting deeper inside of you each time.

Jolly tried his best to support you while he fucked you like a starved man. The pouring water was still so hot, your skin slipping through his fingers. Jolly's hair was dripping all over his face, some cold drops hitting your back when he was leaning on you. The more he was approaching his climax the more he attached himself to you. Straightening your body with one hand he held you against his chest, his fingers caressing your lower belly, trying to feel himself inside of you. His lips found the crook of your neck again, travelling between your nape and your shoulder restlessly.

You threw one of your arms back, trying to reach for his head, to hold something to keep you from going insane. All he was doing was grunting in your ear as he overstimulated you. His fingers now lowering until they found your clit, rubbing circles in rhythm with his motions.

"More. Please more." You wished to say something else but that was the only thing you could think about, repeating it like a mantra in case Jolly decided to be an asshole and tease you through the night. But he didn't, he only fucked you harder and harder like a beast, satisfied with your words, satisfied that he got you dumb and begging for more already.

For an instant, he pushed you down only to make you face him again before he trusted back into you. Kissing you, his cock pumped in and out of you at the same pace as before but this time he fully carried you against the wall, letting you completely lean on him as your body was getting so weak already. His head at your chest height he lost him, moaning against your collarbone while pushing his forehead on it.

Maybe it was his lips on your skin, the way his dick was pounding into you or his fingers on your clit, you couldn't recall what made you lose it but your second climax hit sooner than you expected it to, blowing your mind as your body gave up on you, convulsing between his arms. He continued to fuck you through it, only pulling out when he felt like he was about to come, finishing against the small of your back in a last grunt.

This time you were completely worn out, only breathing as you let your body limp on his. After some time passed Jolly got you both cleaned, rolling you in a cozy robe before he went to look for some clothes. Lending you one of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants he dressed you up in silence, letting you mutter yourself in it.

Once you got out of the bathroom you jumped into his arms again, giving him a hug as you rubbed your face in his chest. His hands immediately found your hair out of habit and he cuddled you a bit more.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly, not to scare you up as he was afraid you would start to perish again. But you were so gone that you didn't even think about it, all you could feel was his scent and your sore muscles relaxing you completely. All you wanted to do was snuggle yourself into the covers of your bed, Jolly's body hugging you tightly.

"Away." You responded and he nodded, kissing the top of your head.

Jolly had special methods to take care of you and your worries but it worked quite efficiently, wasn't that all that mattered?

At the end of the evening, when you nestled yourself in his body, surrounded by all the covers of your bed, he gently stroked your hair praising you as you succumbed to sleep.

"You're doing your best in the world, don't ever let anyone take you down." You only hummed at him, not even listening to what he was saying. His deep voice was enough to lull you as you gave up to Morpheus.

[reallylilyreally]

1/ ? Alright long ask incoming. Preface is that normally I am the monarch of all lurkers - I do not directly engage because it is mortifying to be perceived etc. etc. So if this is unwelcome because I am a stranger, or not really what you are asking for, please disregard - I I love your writing so much I couldn't help but respond to your recent post! Regarding John Brady and second string: I have thoughts about how he and Benny may potentially stumble in finding their happily ever after, which

NONNY your 2/? didn't land so i have a GAP in our conversation...

3/? highly emotionally intelligent. He's able to not only identify how Johnny is feeling, but the likely cause (capable of understanding Johnny's thought patterns very early on!) and the appropriate response to alleviate Johnny's suffering as much as possible. SUCH GOOD WRITING. Your characterisation is so strong, honestly I'm in awe of how fully realised these are as your characters. Benny also comes to the realisation of being in love much sooner. However, at the end of "Better than flying"

4/? he seems hesitant to show all his cards, despite him thinking he's not hedging his bets- from Johnny's perspective : “He said he always thought the two of us were already clear on the fact that we're in love with each other,” Johnny says, and forces himself not to look away from Benny's face. There's a little flicker of tension along Benny's shoulders and then it drops away. “Is that what it is”; cf. Benny's internal understanding "He needs Johnny like he needs to breathe. He hadn’t noticed.

5/? Maybe because he doesn't want to scare Johnny off as their relationship shifts to the intentionally romantic? Benny needs Johnny like he needs to breathe. And he realises that. But he doesn't tell Johnny that. Consider also: "Johnny’s off-balance, unsteady. Benny steadies him. It’s his job. They make a lot of sense, standing next to each other. Benny’s starting to think he’s never going to make any sense by himself ever again." and "Benny wants a life like that so much it chokes him and he

6/? has absolutely no idea how he could make it happen. “It looked pretty good,” he says to Johnny, and his heart is fucking broken." John Brady on the other hand, is - for a man with such devastating depth of emotion- kind of emotionally detached when it comes to his self. He feels the huge weight of mother's sons on his shoulders, and acknowledges how that makes him feel. He feels the pain of the Bucks leading into the unknown of the wedding, and the absence of Biddick- he knows how this makes

7/? him feel and he is a reliable support (emotional and otherwise) for so many - but he struggles to articulate how *he* feels rather then how externalities affect him - I'm struggling to articulate this. Johnny doesn't appear to consciously realise the reason he's struggling on his return to civilian life is the absence of Benny, though subconsciously it appears to be a through-vein of his civilian thought patterns (have I mentioned you're a really good writer??) He also- don't hate me if this

8/ ? wasn't the intent! - doesn't appear to really pick up on the depth of Benny's PTSD. While he notes Benny going quiet on the phone, and at dinner after they first kiss, he doesn't seem to click to the quietness being Benny's loss of time- though he tries his best to help Benny through it. Compare with Benny noticing the minute John is 'gone'. Johnny mentally notices Benny making things easy (for him, Johnny), and implies Benny's ease overall, whereas Benny is actually really struggling too,

9/? and has been aching with uncertainty as to the depth of his love being requited. He thinks they're on the same page, but not sure enough to push. Ouch, hurts so good. There's potential for some really heartbreaking then heart-mending gentle conflict here and the most shivery-delicious affirmation of the depth of each other's feelings: Benny thinking his heart is in deeper, wondering how much of this is just helping John cope vs. love to the depth Benny knows *he* feels, compounded by John's

10/? 'still waters run deep' form of emotion. Benny thinks he sees Johnny so clearly, and he has been right to this point, but what if (through uncertainty, societal pressure, self-esteem ?) he misses Johnny matching him and thinks he's in the deep end alone. Unsure if he'll be left there once Johnny starts to recover from the war. Or John with two insecurities - the first being him thinking it (love) comes so easy to Benny, how deep can it really be for him? This is world-shaking for Johnny, he

11/? didn't realise it could be like this, but Benny makes it look so easy. Are they on the same level? And the second being, what are the boundaries to Benny's tolerance for John's behaviour when it's just them? Johnny is struggling, he may feel like a bit of a burden, and from my reading it may be manifesting as anger issues (the irrational anger Johnny showed towards Bucky on the phone during 'Better than Flying') when he's unsure or caught wrong-footed- if that anger is ever seriously expressed

12/? towards Benny, it'd break them both a bit I think. Benny feeling emotionally slighted, John sure that he'll hit a limit to Benny's perceived "easy" love. To watch either of them feeling uncertain of their place in the other's heart, but to have the other then choose them all over again and soothe the uncertainty, *chef's kiss*. A dynamic I love is one you tend to see with writing about the Buck's, from Carson's Euripedes: I’ll take care of you /It’s rotten work /Not to me. Not if it’s you.

13/14 Lastly - the whole sequence in chapter 2 of "Little better than the one" where Bunny questions his place with Nix and Dick (from the misinterpretation of Dick's: “Bunny,” he says, and his voice is low and serious. “We have to leave for the office in five minutes. But we need to talk about this. I can’t keep pretending that…”) where Tab spirals through the loss of his happily ever after, makes up the spare bed, and then is so sweetly emotionally affirmed was like absolute catnip to me.

14/ END Ooh you have self worth issues baby boy? Let's expose them, and then reveal just how loved you are! Delicious. Do that to Benny and Johnny. Sorry this is so long. Thanks for the opportunity to reread all your writing. Would you believe I trimmed this down a lot? Treating your fics like literature, in this essay I will...! In conclusion your writing is phenomenal.

Oh my GOD i am in your fucking walls about this, this is an insanely detailed and insightful reading and projection of their dynamic, and I cannot TELL you how wonderful it is to read through and digest.

Some of your points are so fucking intriguing to me because they reveal the different ways things land for different people - RE Benny and Johnny having different understandings of their love, for example. In my mind, Benny is *sure* that Johnny loves him just as much in return. What he's not confident of is how much Johnny is aware of that, and how comfortable he is with it. He's aware that Johnny's really bad at being scared, and that's actually something I'm exploring in the fic I'm writing at the moment, how they both deal with the risk of what they're doing, and how their reactions to things differ and how that causes conflict. There's a lot of hot shit in your asks that I wanna pull in, too.

Jesus, i can't tell you how much this means to me. Thank you. I'm so glad you've enjoyed second string, it's one of my favourite pieces, and i ADORE your shoutout to my forever babe, the BunWinNix ot3.

Nonny i wanna invite you to a dinner party and feed you fancy bread. You're the best.