#there was a booth with info on how to get into a yank college and I took the leaflet because it was a foreign uni | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

david-watts · 11 months ago

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I think over covid my m*ther was using the situation to make me not hate her for being a kinda terrible person but I'm having realisations because currently I don't have the threat of my grandmother hanging over my head. how fucked up is it that she refused to let me pursue university on my own terms

#I wasn't allowed to consider music I wasn't allowed to go to another city because I would have to live in a dorm alone #I originally intended to attempt to go to a foreign uni just so I had a chance to escape and on the night where they had all the uni info #there was a booth with info on how to get into a yank college and I took the leaflet because it was a foreign uni #and when my m*ther saw it she screamed her head off at me. that's not right!!!#after I realised I couldn't do that because I wasn't capable of doing all I needed to on my own #I was trying to delay it by maybe six months so I could get my shit together by pointing out I NEEDED a break from education #like I'd gone through a horrific grade twelve and ok we all know what my experience with education is at this point #I was not ready to attend uni! I needed time away from educational settings but was I allowed to do that? no!#actually I wanted to take a gap year anyway since like. 2016. just to decide what I wanted to do #guess what I got in response to that? 'you aren't taking a gap year because you can't get a job'#because apparently the only reason you take a gap year is to work.#it wasn't even a financial thing but even if it was that maybe should've been explained #so I got shoved. into a degree I did not want. I'm completing it but at this fucking point man #I can't cope with it?

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