#after 6 LONG MONTHS btw

[yeukio]

mini doodle dump lets go

i think everyone should be obligated to draw their fav eating a cheeseburger whether the artist actually likes them or not. personally i dont like burgers as a whole but drawing jesse eating one makes me feel complete

i made aiden ugly on purpose btw. hate that guy

[raiiny-bay]

lil headshots of the boys bc i miss them

[hauntingblue]

THEY TOOK ACE'S CUNTY BOOTS AND GAVE HIM SOME FUCKING LOAFERS!!!! THAT SHOULD GET !!!THEM!!! EXECUTED

[depresseddepot]

high school me would be so pissed off right now but I'm buying doc martens

[asclexe]

i think im gonna be really sick sometime next month maybe.

[mcmansionhell]

namesake mcmansion

Howdy folks! Today's McMansion is very special because a) we're returning to Maryland after a long time and b) because the street this McMansion is on is the same as my name. (It was not named after me.) Hence, it is my personal McMansion, which I guess is somewhat like when people used to by the name rights to stars even though it was pretty much a scam. (Shout out btw to my patron Andros who submitted this house to be roasted live on the McMansion Hell Patreon Livestream)

As far as namesake McMansions go, this one is pretty good in the sense that it is high up there on the ol' McMansion scale. Built in 2011, this psuedo-Georgian bad boy boasts 6 bedrooms and 9.5 baths, all totaling around 12,000 square feet. It'll run you 2.5 million which, safe to say, is exponentially larger than its namesake's net worth.

Now, 2011 was an anonymous year for home design, lingering in the dead period between the 2008 black hole and 2013 when the market started to actually, finally, steadily recover. As a result a lot of houses from this time basically look like 2000s McMansions but slightly less outrageous in order to quell recession-era shame.

I'm going to be so serious here and say that the crown molding in this room is a crime against architecture, a crime against what humankind is able to accomplish with mass produced millwork, and also a general affront to common sense. I hate it so much that the more I look at it the more angry I become and that's really not healthy for me so, moving on.

Actually, aside from the fake 2010s distressed polyester rug the rest of this room is literally, basically Windows 98 themed.

I feel like the era of massive, hefty sets of coordinated furniture are over. However, we're the one's actually missing out by not wanting this stuff because we will never see furniture made with real wood instead of various shades of MDF or particleboard ever again.

This is a top 10 on the scale of "least logical kitchen I've ever seen." It's as though the designers engineered this kitchen so that whoever's cooking has to take the most steps humanly possible.

Do you ever see a window configuration so obviously made up by window companies in the 1980s that you almost have to hand it to them? You're literally letting all that warmth from the fire just disappear. But whatever I guess it's fine since we basically just LARP fire now.

Feminism win because women's spaces are prioritized in a shared area or feminism loss because this is basically the bathroom vanity version of women be shopping? (It's the latter.)

I couldn't get to all of this house because there were literally over a hundred photos in the listing but there are so many spaces in here that are basically just half-empty voids, and if not that then actually, literally unfinished. It's giving recession. Anyway, now for the best part:

Not only is this the NBA Backrooms but it's also just a nonsensical basketball court. Tile floors? No lines? Just free balling in the void?

Oh, well I bet the rear exterior is totally normal.

Not to be all sincere about it but much like yours truly who has waited until the literal last second to post this McMansion, this house really is the epitome of hubris all around. Except the house's hubris is specific to this moment in time, a time when gas was like $2/gallon. It's climate hubris. It's a testimony to just how much energy the top 1% of income earners make compared to the rest of us. I have a single window unit. This house has four air conditioning condensers. That's before we get to the monoculture, pesticide-dependent lawn or the three car garage or the asphalt driveway or the roof that'll cost almost as much as the house to replace. We really did think it would all be endless. Oops.

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! Student loans just started back up!

[pressureplus]

Not sure if you have done it or if anyone have already requested it.. but I do like to see a headcanons (NSFW?) on the ovipositor of Sebastian. Like if reader finally agrees to let him pregnant them with his eggs. Kinda stuff like how would it feel like during/after breeding? does it will hurt? How long long does it take? How those eggs/babies develop? And how does the giving birth would be and feel like? Anything like that.

Btw, I love your headcanons and oneshots! <3

So glad you asked! I've been dealing with pain lately so Ive needed consistent care. As per usual we are writing, this one just happened to be finished first. Also, thank you for the compliment <3

♡Sebastian Solace Ovipositor Headcannons♡

Warnings: Describing this Non-Erotically, Implied Sex, Oviposition/Ovipositor, AFAB and AMAB Cannons (God Im Sorry), Pregnancy/Birth Vaguely Mentioned, M!Preg Mentioned

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜

Starting off strong, the moment you agree to have that mans babies he is all over you

Excited, yes, and at the mention of his Ovipositor being put to use he’ll be a little shy but happy to oblige! How can he not be? The idea of having a family almost makes him feel…normal. Happy and normal.

As his tendril is always sheathed, it stays very slick, which makes insertion easier. Despite his absurdly large length (he is well over twice your size) he doesn't need to be all the way inside your body to use said Ovipositor

During the process of actually putting those eggs in your body, it feels…odd. The best way I can describe this is like swallowing those Boba Pearls in drinks? But like…obviously not with your mouth

Doesn't hurt! The eggs arent too large, about an inch in length and diameter, but still not painful! You’d think they would be, right?

This is due to both the slightly muscle relaxant features of said slick, and the flexible nature of his eggs

Despite their size they can easily compress to be smaller if pressure is applied…too much pressure will pop them and make them no longer viable but yes they can get a bit smaller

They're like little jelly balls with a turquoise color

After the fact, you'll really just feel oddly full for the next day or two. These things are decently sticky and almost parasitic in nature so those that are going to continue to develop will be burying themselves into your body

Not a painful process either, by the way

Those that don't end up attaching to anything are not particularly viable as they can't take any of your DNA to make anything. So those really just have to be removed. This can be done decently easily with some pressure applied to your stomach and a bit of pushing

Produces 6-12 eggs on average, but may produce more or less, so you never really know how many actually stuck

The way these eggs develop is rather unnatural to say the least.

If you're AFAB then they'll attempt to fill your uterus much like a normal baby would. They also take as much ‘code’ from your DNA as possible, feeding off your blood for minerals similar to how Anglerfish pairs function

If you're AMAB things get a bit..sticky for you. They'll hollow out their own space inside you, kind of like a very small faux womb. This is NOT painful, but does leave a sort of dull ache like you've just worked out for a while. This small little wound will close behind the eggs as well so they won't be disturbed. They feed off you the same way as they do for those who are AFAB

This pregnancy can last anywhere from 6-9 months depending on how large the batch of eggs is. They do technically ‘share’ their meals so they'll all be ready to hatch at the same time. Think of it like an evolutionary trait for a better chance at survival.

Doesn't entirely feel like pregnancy, you'll feel weaker, bloaty, and maybe a bit sick mostly due to lower mineral/vitamin counts. But as long as you take some kind of supplements or eat healthy you'll be fine

You don't get particularly round or anything either, just a small bump that could easily be passed off as weight gain

On the Plus side for the AFABS, your body does not continue to have its menstrual cycle during these months. They release their own chemicals into your body/bloodstream for a better latch and less chances to be ‘rejected’

As for having these babies? There's conractions/cramping for sure and a bit of blood from where those eggs detach. I wouldn't call them particularly bad contractions, as they're slower and a lot less painful than normal child birth

The body doesn't have to prep as much since they're not normal sized human babies.

If you're AFAB, they'll come out the natural way. If you're AMAB, you're going to need surgery

Surgery is of course an option for both if preferred.

They pop their eggs and are ready to go the second they break, now for the most part the body can just absorb the nutrients in these empty ‘shells’ but they can also be removed. It won't cause additional harm either way

These babies aren't very big when they're taken out

In fact, they're all about palms sized. They're warm to the touch, covered in a bit of blood and whatever liquid is inside those eggs, so they're a bit sticky. But just fine to wipe clean

They’ll be oddly…blue and pale for the first while as they learn to breathe oxygen with their very small lungs. Don't worry, they'll figure it out. They look almost like normal babies aside from this, well, not including those that look more like Sebastian

They’ll develop faster than normal babies as well. Some may even be born with sharp teeth, others will get their set within the first two months.

They're already up and ready to go in about a year or less, as if they're made for survival like wild animals. However this will come at a cost. Your sanity mostly when your 1 year old is chewing through the casings of wires and chair legs.

By the time they're around 5-6 they'll be just a little smaller than the size of a normal human child.

As teenagers getting their growth spurts? Many of your children may end up BIGGER than average humans!

Overall your children will be different, as was the process of having them, but they're still perfectly healthy

[v1sexual]

always forever ; vi (arcane) part one

a collection of (modern) domestic life activities with vi ! college au , modern au , self indulgent

part one , part two , part three, part four soon !

drabble one: historians will call them flatmates , drabble two (soon)

ꕀ you and flatmate vi actually got off on the wrong foot when you first met.

it was the night you moved in. after a long day of moving, carrying heavy suitcases around, building furnitures, and organizing your room, you’re more than ready to get some good night sleep.

after taking a quick shower, you put on an oversized band tee paired with black boxer shorts (that are new and never been worn) you stole from your brother. just as you were about to fall asleep, you heard the front door slam open. the sound of faint giggles filled the hallway to which you paid no mind to, assuming that it was one of your flatmates.

you’ve dozed off for a couple of minutes until you were woken up by a faint thumping on your wall. you sighed and placed a blanket over your head. just as you closed your eyes, you heard a loud moan. “what the actual fuck?” you hissed. more moans came from the room next to yours, followed by the faint sound of thumping. pissed off, you slammed your hand on the wall. “keep it down! some people are trying to sleep here!”

the moaning and thumping immediately stopped, you could hear two hushed female voices talk. “sorry!” a deep feminine voice called out. shrugging, you placed your earbuds on and blasted one of your bedtime playlists.

you fell asleep for what feels like a couple of hours when more thumping and louder moans came from your flatmate’s room. “how the hell are they still at it, jesus.” you muttered under your breath. sighing, you grabbed a pillow and a blanket then proceeded to make your way outside. you didn’t want to interrupt whatever the hell your flatmate and their guest are doing, so you decided to just spend the rest of the night in your car. besides, it’s already 6 in the morning. you didn’t have any classes yet, but you did want to drive around the neighbourhood and check out some of the cafes.

a faint thumping from your car window woke up you up. a girl, roughly your age, with pink hair waved at you. she wore a white wife beater and plaid boxers, you took note of the hickeys on her neck and chest. you narrowed your eyes at her, ‘the culprit’ you thought. she gave you a guilty smile and motioned for you to roll your windows down.

“you must be my new flatmate,” she said sleepily. “the name’s vi.” she held her hand out.

“charmed,” you muttered sarcastically while shaking her hand. “i’m (name).”

vi apologized profusely, to which you replied with a sigh and waved it off. after that very awkward encounter you avoided vi like the plague, and every time she had a girl over you would sleep over at your friend, ekko’s, place.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who you got to know better when the power went out because of a citywide blackout. you learned that vi was a second year engineering major, she’s part of the university’s rugby and hockey team, and that she’s the oldest of four siblings.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! whose outfit consisted of a black wife beater, a couple oversized shirts, jerseys, sweats, plaid boxers & pjs, and her two sneakers. no matter what though she will always opt to wear her wife beaters, no bra btw (the faint outline of her nipple piercings visible), and her plaid boxers.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who would sneak glances at you whenever you wore those tiny little biker shorts, appreciating the way your ass looks in the snug material. she’d also purposely place essential kitchenware on the top shelf, appreciating the way your oversized band tee would slip up to reveal your ass.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who you noticed, stopped bringing nighttime guests over after a month you two became friends. you paid no mind to it, keeping your nose out of her business. you assumed it was out of respect, and that she didn’t want you sleeping in your car again. but one thing’s for sure though, the fact that vi stopped bringing home guests made you feel a whole lot better. and not just because you get a good night’s sleep. but also because you may or may not feel a small pang of jealousy whenever she did bring someone home.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who fell silent when you excitedly told her that someone asked you out, and the fact that it was a guy made her mentally bang her head in a wall. she’s not one to assume a person’s sexuality, but you going out with a guy made her little lesbian heart deflate a bit. you never did open up about your dating preferences, and it’s not like she asked you either.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who was overjoyed when you came home after you date, ranting to her how goddamn awful it was. if vi had a tail, it would 100% be wagging when you told her (and i quote;) “… this is why i prefer women, women would never!”

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who made subtle moves on you after that night. can’t reach something from the top shelf? next thing you know, she’s behind you. her chest pressed against you back as she grabbed whatever you needed. you could feel the faint outline of her nipple piercing, making your brain short circuit. had a rough day? vi’s got you covered. she’ll have your favorite movie/show on the tv for you, she’ll bring out the electronic heating blanket out, and she’ll have your favorite takeout on the table for you. period cramps? you sure as hell know she’ll grab you some pain killers and a warm compress. out of pads/tampons? vi will literally venture out at night to get you some.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who may or may not have milked that one time she had a bad cold. you practically slept in her room. you’d keep watch on her temperature, remind her when to take her meds, place a cold cloth on her forehead when she gets too warm, and evens helped her get into her shower.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who invited you to one of her hockey games during winter break. as much as you wanted to go, you needed to go home during winter break for your mom’s birthday. which vi understood of course, since she as well would never miss the chance to go home when when it’s the birthday of one of her siblings or her adoptive father.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who felt that the flat became eerily quiet when you left for winter break. you’ve only been gone for a couple of days, but it felt like weeks. she missed your cooking, your nagging (whenever she left her dirty dishes in the sink), your late night laundry runs, the three a.m 7-11 trips. vi wanted to text you so bad, but she didn’t. she didn’t know what say, plus she assumed that your busy spending time with your family. you on the other hand, were 100% always checking your phone. every notification made you buzz with excitement, only to be disappointed when it wasn’t her.

ꕀ flatmate vi ! who was down in the dumps during the day of her game, the game she invited you too. little did she know, you left home a couple of days earlier than planned so you could watch her game. you contacted ekko who’s dating vi’s younger sister, powder, for a favour to save you a seat in exchange of bringing him some of your mom’s famous mango float (that you had to beg for her to make, but the moment you mentioned ekko she caved immediately. she loved your childhood friend, probably more than she loves you but oh well)

ꕀ flatmate vi ! who stared at the empty seat next to ekko and powder. she sighed, shaking her head. she knew that if you would have attended her game if you could. plus she could always invite you to her other ones. vi decided to look on the bright side, deciding that she would text you after the game. you arrived a couple minutes late to vi’s game. you squeezed past the tight walkway, texting ekko to ask where they were. ekko waved at you, he and powder were seated at the very front, the first row of seats right in front of the plexiglass preventing any pucks from flying outside the rink.

ꕀ flatmate vi ! who almost tripped on her own skates when she spotted you sitting next to her sister. you were wearing one of her spare jerseys (you 100% stole it from her clean laundry pile), her number painted on your cheek, and a huge smile plastered on your lips as your eyes met. vi gave you a wink and proceeded to show off for the next hour or so.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who absolutely crushed the game. their team won 4-1, you were here, what else could she ask for. after a quick shower, she met you, ekko, and powder outside the locker room entrance.

you and powder bonded over how amazing the game was, while ekko listened to the both of you. when vi slipped out of the shower room, pink hair still damp, and a towel over her shoulders, you immediately ran towards her. she greeted you with a hug, her chin resting on top of your head. ekko and powder raised an eyebrow at each other, which vi ignored. she instead, shifted her focus on you.

“i thought you wouldn’t be able to make it?” she exclaimed when you broke the hug. you shrugged, smiling at her cheekily. “decided to come back early, i got bored at home.”

vi smiled. “what about your mom’s birthday?” you waved your hand and linked arms with her. “her birthday was two days ago, she practically jumped with joy when i said i was leaving early.”

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who was relieved when ekko and powder finally went home. as much as she loved their company, she just really wanted to be alone with you right now. as soon as you both got home, vi puts on a movie as you guys sat on the couch. you were on the opposite side of the couch, your legs propped on her lap, a nice soft blanket over the two of you.

“i almost forgot!” you exclaimed, shooting up from the couch and darted off to your room. when you came back, you had a small pink box in your hands. vi raised an eyebrow as you sat next to her, a grin etched on your lips.

you excitedly handed vi the box, and gestured for her to open it. a small gasp leaves vi. inside the box was a ring, it was a gold band with a small stone in the middle. the girl practically teared up, she puts the ring on her finger. it was a bit big for her ring finger but it did fit perfectly on her thumb. she could also always put it on the plain gold chain she always wore.

“sooo,” you started. “do you like it?” vi nodded happily, pulling you in for a hug. you sighed contently your chin resting on her shoulder as you wrap your arms around her waist.

“i’m sorry i didn’t get you anything shortcake,” vi whispered, her lips touched the shell of your ear. “don’t worry about, consider it a congratulatory gift and a christmas gift.” you squeaked, a faint blush washing over your cheeks. “plus, i thrifted it. my sister and i went thrifting, and the pink gem reminded me of your hair.”

ꕀ flat mate vi ! might as well have melted on the spot. she broke the hug and held your cheeks in her hands. she tilted your head up, making you look at her.

ꕀ flat mate vi ! who couldn’t resist but press a short kiss on your lips.

you gasped, feeling her soft chapped lips press against yours. the kiss ended as quickly as soon at it happened. vi opened her mouth to say something, you cut her off by gripping the. front of her hoodie. pulling her towards you, your lips landed on hers. vi’s eyes fluttered shut and so did yours, the movie you put on merely became a background noise as your lips danced against hers.

“i’ve waited so long to do that,” vi whispered. she rested her forehead against yours, your hot breath fanning over her lips. “took you long enough.”. you whispered back before pulling her in another kiss.

safe to say that by then the movie was long forgotten.

[chocum]

yea tattoo artist choso but .. what abt tattoo artist geto

congrats on 1k btw!

eee thank youuuu 🙈🙈 i’m souuurrr happy you requested geto bc i’ve been wanting to write abt other characters. AND THISS got out of hand lollll ( 1.5k ) idk what came over me i just word vomited all over my phone… & it’s unedited

— tattooartist!geto x reader // mentions of smoking, m masterbation, fleshlight, cum eating, kinda pervy geto idk he tells reader to take her shirt off when she doesn’t need to so, nipple play, v in p, mentions of overstim, creampiee

suguru geto is one of the most, if not the most popular tattoo artists in your area— hell, probably even farther than that. just to book an appointment, there’s a waitlist not including the months and months he’s already booked for. so when you finally get that confirmation email after waiting for what felt like years, you physically jump up, rushing to get ready and go to the parlor

“i don’t have anyone today under that name, sorry”

suguru pushes a strand of silk black hair behind his pierced ears, the dragon tattoo on his hand moving as he does so almost like it’s taunting you.

“what? i got an email today i just-” your hand reaches into your purse slacked over your shoulder to pull out your phone and prove your appointment was today, but when you go back to check, heat spreads across your cheeks faster than ever.

the date said next month

“ya had the right day i’ll give you that” and he’s laughing. not at you but because you’re cute, he thinks. pouting, growing hot from embarrassment. “i’ll tell you what..”

he leans in and you can smell the smoke that lingers on his breath mixing like some sort of love potion with his musky cologne, his pierced eyebrow quirking, browned eyes staring into yours with puffy lips wet from licking, “i can squeeze you in tomorrow. was supposed to have an off day but ill help a pretty girl like you out, how’s that sound?”

and you’ve never nodded faster. smile pulling at your glossed lips, drawing his to get trapped underneath his teeth.

“here i’ll give you my number, i’ll text you the time ‘n stuff later”

with that, you leave his parlor, your number scribbled on the back of some old receipt next to your name and a heart.

geto’s no better than a man. no better. he goes home that night and texts you as soon as he’s tucked into bed.

hey this is suguru btw.

your phone vibrates on your nightstand, and you smile at the notification. it almost felt unreal, someone who felt so unreachable, someone like geto in your phone, texting you first.

hey!

he catches himself smiling at the message too, his mind trailing back to seeing your pretty face when you walked into the parlor. the way you looked around doe-eyed like a little deer in headlights. looked innocent, and he liked that. maybe a little too much, his dick twitching against the fabric of his boxers.

he only talked to you for a few minutes. barely even held a conversation, but god did you look good. can’t blame him for getting like this.

what time is good for you? like i said, im supposed to be off but had no plans so any time is fine.

your thumbs dance across your keyboard as you think of what to say in response. you’re nervous. and if you knew he was jerking his cock, you’d be even more. his hand slowly .. very slowly rubbing his leaky tip, his head full, overflowing and bubbling with thoughts of you. what are you doing right now? are you in bed too? squeezing his warm balls, cupping them, teasing himself, imagining it’s your sweet little hands.

is 6 pm okay?

the little buzz drags him from his thoughts.

yea. see you then, pretty.

the simple little pet name makes you feel like you’re going to explode. so warm all over your body, and you wish you could just time travel to the next day and see him already.

geto brings the palm of his large hand to his face, lolling his tongue out to lick long stripes on it, shivering at the feeling of his own piercing before wrapping around the base of his thick cock, stroking himself only two times. this won’t do.

he reached for the pocket pussy he keeps nested deep in his drawer. leaning over to let spit fall and dribble into the clear toy before rubbing it on his tip.

groaning, “shiiiiittt” his hips bucking up as he slowly lets it sink down— body twitching at the feeling of all the little bumps and ridges massaging his sensitive cock.

“fu- fuck juuuust like that, mhhhm”

imagining he’s inside your tight little walls, squishing him like he’s meant for you, snug and tight like a puzzle piece.

his chest heaved with every snap of his wrist, spit sinking out and ringing out the base of his cock leaking down to his heavy balls, “feel so fucking good baby”

so fast he’s already shooting into the toy, whining because it’s not you. wishing it was you, your warm walls probably feel so much better. probably sound so cute taking him from behind or from the front, your eyes locked onto his.

he came so much it’s leaking all over himself. so messy and dirty and he brings the toy up and licks it all out, shoving his tongue inside the rubbery walls to flick and clean it up.

“shit”

the next day came too slowly. to you but especially to suguru. he went to the parlor an hour earlier to open and tidy up, pulling his raven locs into a ponytail, letting a few stray strands fall and frame his face, counting each and every second.

and then he hears it. the little ding as the door opens, you push it open smiling up at him as you walk through and you look even better than he remembered. and he’s trying so hard to keep his composure.

he nods at you, giving you a small smile, “so what did you want to get, and where?”

at your reply he freezes, his hands almost crumbling up the paperwork he reached for you to fill out — “my chest”

“your chest?”

he parrots you. then he repeats it in his head a few more times. picturing you pull your little top up.

he can tell you’re not wearing a bra with how your nipples perk up and poke through the flimsy, almost see-through fabric.

you nod your head, mhm sounding and bubbling past your lips.

god, you’re going to be the death of him.

after you finish with all the paperwork, he pulls you into the back making small talk asking about your day. and you indulge, asking back, finding comfort in the normality of your conversation. he’s different from what people painted him out to be and you felt relaxed in his presence.

even more when he offers you a seat, cleaning it off before slipping on some black gloves. his hands almost bulge out, his knuckles poking through the latex.

“can i see the design?”

you pull up the picture on your phone and he hums, “and you said your chest, right?”

again he repeats it, almost as if it’s a mantra he’s using to calm his nerves. calm his dick.

you just nod, “do i need to take my shirt off?”

and well no you don’t, not yet at least, but he says yes, reaching forward to do it for you because he’s just so sweet, right? so nice and caring, and welcoming.

and he only wraps his lips around your tits to soothe you, right? sucking, letting his teeth sink into the buds, the silver ball tracing over them. his other glove-clad hand cupping them.

sinks his cock into you just cause he wants to take care of you, right? he could tell you wanted it soo bad. your thighs pressing together so tightly when he pressed his lips against your chest with a soft, “suguru please”

“mhm let me take care of you, pretty girl, spread em, hold yourself open f’me— uh huh, juuust like that.”

your little arms shake and tremble, hooking around the back of your knees as he pushes into your tight cunt. and fuck, he was right. feels so much better than his toy.

“fuuuckk found your spot, baby, ‘s right there? yeah feel good right there?” he rolls his hips up, brushing against that spot, his thick tip kissing it, making your body twitch.

“yes— fuck yes feels so good”

right about you sounding so fucking good too— his cock twitching inside the solitude of your pretty slimy walls. shivering at how you suck and milk him so well, so tight and warm. so fucking warm. feels so good he’s already close, but he wants to keep making you feel good, keep hearing you, and if he was to fuck his cum into you, overstimulating his needy cock to do that, then so be it.

“inside” you whine out at how he twitches, his stokes sputtering and faltering as he languidly pushing into your sopping pussy, leaking all over him, so wet.

“ohh — fuck ohfuck” and it pushes him over the edge, bottoming out to overfill you, make you nice and creamy ‘cause you deserve it. deserve it for being so good, making him feel so good.

letting his head fall onto your shoulder sweat sprinkling his forehead as he empties himself for you. for your pretty pussy, all for you.

[insertdisc5]

I finished ISAT yesterday and I can't get it out of my head. I will spread it to as many friends as possible. Thank you so much for making it. How else can we support In Stars and Time after buying the game?

that is a lovely question to ask!!! um um um this applies to all indie games and all cool stuff you like btw <3

✨✨✨ How To Support Something Cool After Having Bought The Something Cool ✨✨✨

-if you bought the game on steam, leave a review on steam! Reviews tell the Steam Algorithm(tm) that the game is worthwhile and cool, and so the algorithm will be more likely to show off the game!!!

-if you bought it elsewhere uuuuh leave a review on metacritic i guess????

-word of mouth!!! tell your friends!

here's a tangent.

Word Of Mouth For Dummies (written by me, a professional Word Of Mouther) ok so if you wanna make your friends play the game. here is my advice. or at least thats how i do it. i made all my friends play disco elysium and. ive even made one. play. umineko (everyone gasps in amazement) 1. dont be too insistent about it. so, GO CRAZY AAAH GO STUPID AAAH only ONCE. and explain the game in thirty pages there if you want. ONCE. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE. 2. if you know them well and what they like, personalize the paragraph. you like timeloops? thats for you. you like old ladies? thats for you? you keep beating me at rock paper scissors? Do I Have The Game For You. 3. now that you've gone crazy aah stupid aah Once, you have successfully PLANTED THE SEED. like in inception. no need to go crazy stupid again for a while. i know it's hard. but you don't wanna go crazy stupid too much. control yourself. for the Thing. 4. from that point on though, when the game is on sale, just go "hey btw the cool game i told you about is on sale! smiles smiles smiles". 5. every six months go "i was just thinking about a cool game again." "what cool game?" "IN STARS AND TIME" and you can go crazy aaah go stupid aah again. 6. after Some Time (from 2 weeks to 5 years) they will play the game. yes i said 5 years. word of mouthing is a WAITING GAME. little sprouts grow into trees. 7. they play the game 8. ???? 9. profit <3

-word of mouth, 2!!!! SOCIAL MEDIA!!!! tweet about the game! reblog other people's posts! make fanart! make fanfic! write a long essay about which parts made you cry! cosplay as the characters! make a video essay! just yell!!!!! you know how you only got into That One Thing because someone made a post about it? you could be The Post.

-(this one is if you want more merch specifically) buy the merch if it's available! the only reason we have a second Loop wave with the Yetee is because the first wave sold so well ;w;

-ummm that's it really????? that's already a bunch!!! but yeah!!!!!!!!!! ty!!!!!!!!!!

[alicethenobody]

My headcanons about the Sparda twins coming back from hell.

-They’re stuck for about 11 months, after they find a way out after managing to sever those stupid roots so they don’t bother anybody anymore.

-Just in time for Patty’s 19th birthday party!

-Somehow they accidentally end up there, and chaos ensues.

-Patty scolds Dante for missing her birthday party last year and cries tears of joy at the same time knowing he’s finally home, she’d visited DMC everyday to see if Dante had turned up and now she doesn’t have to wait anymore to see him again. After the scolding she gives him as tight of a hug as she can. Dante promises to make it up to her and reassures her he didn’t mean to neglect her on her birthday. Patty demands double the presents, and even though he doubts he can afford much he’ll try to find a way. He can’t say no to Pattycakes.

-Btw for those who don’t know the novel reveals Dante planned on seeing Patty after handling Urizen, he just didn’t want to go to the party itself because he feels uncomfortable and like a freak around “normal” (his words) people like Patty’s friends and thinks he’s dangerous to be around.

-Vergil is confused. Very confused. They act a lot like family. Could Dante have had a kid? He never said anything about that.

-Nope. They’re just really tightly knit found family.

-Patty eventually starts roasting Dante like usual, mainly for how he smells horrible and his hair is a mess. She demands that he showers right now.

-Vergil decides he likes Patty already and teams up with her to roast his brother and tells him “Do what she says, Dante. You wouldn’t want to make her upset.” In the most smug way fucking possible.

-Dante wanted to go back to the shop right away considering he’d been gone for so long, but again, he really can’t say no to Patty.

-They return to DMC after that. Nero is there and he’s silently shocked for a moment when the twins walk through the door, in the middle of an argument about something really stupid. Probably about pizza toppings. Nothing really serious just normal sibling banter.

-“GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! Can we please talk?!”

-Dante, realizing Nero is there, is giddy to see his nephew. However… Nero gives him a swift uppercut to the jaw.

-This leads to Nero dragging Dante somewhere they can talk alone. He demands an explanation as to why Dante never told him about anything.

-This will be difficult, but Dante knows he needs to explain stuff to him. It’s only fair. He has a right to know.

-He doesn’t open up about his trauma that lead to all this, that’d be out of character. But he does explain to Nero the best he can that the Sparda family has a long, bloody and traumatic history and he thought if Nero got involved he’d get hurt and he didn’t want the only family he had left to get hurt, or ruin the happy life he was living with Kyrie.

-He expects another punch from Nero, he thinks he deserves it, but instead Nero crushes him with a hug.

-“Never fucking do that again, idiot. From now on we’re family, you got it? No more secrets.”

-Dante nearly cries as he says “You have my word, kid.” in the goofiest, most overjoyed way possible. Also he’s kinda nervous about it at first because he’s not used to receiving affection anymore but he hugs Nero back.

-Vergil on the other hand? Having a… relationship with him is gonna be difficult as hell. It’ll take a while before Vergil and Nero are comfortable around each other. Kyrie and Dante play a big role in helping the two, though Vergil was a lot more reluctant at first to accept his little bro’s help.

-Also Vergil lives with Dante and let’s just say the business is a lot better with him around. They still bicker a lot but it’s out of love because what siblings don’t annoy each other?

Will Nero ever learn about the Sparda family’s history in better detail? I have a lot of thoughts about that, as well as possible plot points in a DMC 6 type scenario but I just wanted this post to be about the immediate return from hell.

Edit: Wanted to mention I also have thoughts about Nero’s side of things while the twins were in hell about what he was doing and how he was feeling and all that stuff but this post is mainly about this twins.

[katshelluvacritic]

Charlie Morningstar is probably one of the worst written characters I’ve seen in the series.

(This one’s gonna be a long one…)

Ok…. So I watched all six episodes and to be honest I’m pretty much pissed off by this character specifically. This might be more of a rant rather than a critique, so I do understand that not everything I say in this will end up being as constructive exactly but I genuinely need to get this off my chest, especially since she is a character I’ve specifically and recently been hyper fixating on before the show released…

(Side note: I realized the post was very long so, to have it be easier to read I added titles for each section! Hope this helps)

!!WARNING FOR SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES BTW!!

> Charlie lacks the qualities of being a main character.

Now besides the piss poor excuse of an introduction for her (and the rest of the cast) in the main series, I honestly question why exactly Charlie specifically is the “protagonist” in the first place (and I say protagonist with the biggest of quotes here, you’ll see why).

In the first episode of the series “overture”, we don’t really see much of her character, most of the time we’re shown screen time of Vicky (a nickname I made for v*ggie since I’m not gonna call her by her genitalia thank you) trying to make an ad for the hotel and even when we do get the screen time of her, she’s barely doing anything other than hearing viv’s self insert- I mean- Adam just go on and on about whatever he’s talking about.

And when Charlie does go on to explain her plan to redeem sinners she’s just interrupted and then stands there when they start singing hell is forever, she doesn’t “go off” like the hazbin Twitter says, she just stands there and then tries to say something only to get interrupted again and again and then gets pushed out of the meeting room before going back to the hotel to see it’s spread across in the news that the next extermination happens in 6 months.

Now although one might argue “Well didn’t Charlie at one point said in the show that giving orders is so mean?” Well yes but again, Charlie is literally the princess of pride ring, you would think that since her parents are literally rulers of pride, they would’ve probably teach her how to stand on her two feat, especially if your RUNNING A HOTEL. And the thing is, she has stood up and did so in episode 6 and the goddamn pilot (which is at this point is probably canon due to Charlie calling it the hazbin hotel instead of happy hotel), even going as far as to fight Katie Killjoy because she thought it was stupid.

Not only that but the episodes after overture, her screen time lessens until somewhat in 5 and 6. She doesn’t really appear that much in the between these episodes to the point where she feels like a supporting character rather than a protagonist. And when she does get screen time, she’s either forgettable at best and infuriating at worst.

> Charlie’s character is poorly written and just dumb.

In the episodes past overture, she’s literally rock solid stupid that I literally screamed in real life multiple times “you’re a fucking idiot” because of how frustrated I was from what she was doing, In episode 2 she literally trusted sir pentious to go to her hotel even though he almost destroyed her place and in episode 6 thought it was a hunky dory idea to let a person who literally exploded buildings to take charge of giving her employees a “good time”. Yes it could be played off as her being naive but if she’s that naive of a person then maybe she shouldn’t be a boss of a hotel to rehabilitate sinners.

Heck, in episode 4, Charlie gets pissed off and turns into her demon form because val literally started hurting Angel when he followed him into the room (and rightfully so) but when angel tells her to leave and drags her out of the studio, she’s just in her normal form and fucks off??? Reminder she’s literally the princess of hell! She could beat the shit out of val if she wants to, why did she just fucked off after angel had her leave?

“But Kat, what if something bad happens to angel if valentino dies?” Like what? If it was explained that if an overlord dies then the sinners that made a deal with them die too or something like that then yeah, that would make sense but we don’t know that whether or not that’s the case, if anything angel could be just fine after Valentino dies but we don’t know that.

And even when Charlie had the opportunity to go out there and apologize to him herself after he stormed out of the hotel, she and Vicky just send Husk to do it. And I have to ask, WHY? HUSK didn’t know what was happening to Angel earlier. HUSK wasn’t at the porn studio that Angel was working at. CHARLIE WAS….

“Well Kat, what if Charlie was scared about making things worse?” Fair enough, but again sending Husk is a stupid idea, I feel like it would’ve AT LEAST made sense if she sent Vicky out there. Because Charlie didn’t know if husk could fight (if you could even call it that, all he did was throw cards at people), BUT SHE KNEW VICKY COULD THOUGH. But nah we gotta do it for the ship right?

And then Charlie had the gull to be crying that angel forgave her after she fucked up, like shut the fuck up… it’s like if viv looked at a bunch of chars that had the optimistic care-free ‘ish personality and thought that meant making her as pathetic as a baby crying that they didn’t get a lollipop from their mommy.

Like I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s literally gone to a point where I think Orel Puppington (aka the 11 yo Christian kid who worships Jesus and gets harmful lessons from other Christians) makes a better Charlie Morningstar than the Charlie Morningstar herself!

And that thought is justified when he tried to go help people in Sinville, “Kat he ended up turning into a pimp at the end of the episode” yeah but AT LEAST HE TRIED TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING! Which leads me to another question….

> How is Charlie gonna redeem sinners exactly???

Like honestly, I’m serous with this one. How is Charlie gonna redeem these guys?

I ask this because in the series, she barely does ANYTHING to help these guys, she and the rest of the characters just sit around and then do an activity that is the equivalent of something you would do in kindergarten except it’s with ADULTS.

I don’t know about you but If your idea of helping people is doing just that and nothing else, then the only thing the people around you are gonna get is them being annoyed at first and eventually walking out with thinking your not helping them but rather just treating them like a baby who doesn’t know anything, and the only thing your gonna get personally is nothing because you did dick all.

Like other than that she pretty much just whines about sinners not going to her hotel and oh gee I wonder why, it’s not like your not doing anything to help these sinners not committing sins anymore, oh definitely not, your absolutely being helpful.

“Oh but Kat! Charlie was born in hell, how can she know how to help people? She’s not from the human world so, she wouldn’t exactly know how to help these people!” I would tell you to look at the world building for the series and it’s spin off but that’s a whole other can of beans that I don’t wanna cover today and this is already getting to long, so y’know what? We’ll go with that.

If Charlie didn’t know how to help people and was trying to figure out what she can do to help sinners get better, then why didn’t she just ask her employees for suggestions? Y’know, the other sinners who were from the human world and had experiences while they were alive and such?

Yeah, I get that not all of their advice would be exactly good or healthy (since they’re sinners who’ve done many bad things after all) BUT ITS AT LEAST SOMETHING FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!

She literally does nothing, she just expects you to immediately get better after some improvisations or whatever other activities she does and once you’ve done one nice thing then boom you’re close to redemption.

> Conclusion.

Charlie Morningstar is (like I said in the beginning) probably one of the worst characters in the hazbin hotel series, she at best a stereotype of the “everything is sunshines and rainbows” character tropes and at worst is a pathetic excuse of a main character and is nothing but a rotten shell of her character from the pilot.

I would go on about how her design’s also bad but I’m sure millions of people have already said the same issues and I’ve already posted my redesign of her before the show dropped.

I might plan on posting a rewrite of her or maybe explain my problems with another character or episode but I don’t know.

But until then, I’ll see y’all later!

[whousestypewriters]

──── ୨ৎ IM A FAN — GRAYSON HAWTHORNE + READER ‧₊˚

a/n: hi lovelies! look its my first smau/fic (on this acc) and since i love making them here we are :))) hope you enjoy <3 sorry if this is too long btw. i need a grayson guys... maybe a possible series?!?!

grayson hawthorne was bored okay? he was bored, and for a man like him to be bored literally nothing must be happening. so how i hear you ask did he end up on the youtube page of a very popular booktuber? he blames xander, for watching her on the tv curled up with max earlier today. something about you.. intrigued him.

he stared at the account for the longest time before finally, finally clicking on your latest video about your fall tbr. and once he heard your voice it was like he was in a trance. the calmness of the video, your narration and the way you spoke to the viewers made him feel as if he was sitting there next to you on your bed.

he never watched this type of thing. he never really watched stuff at all. but suddenly here he was binge watching every single one of your videos. it was as if he had no control over himself and he just wanted to continue to watch them for the rest of the day.

by the time he had realised how late it was, it was dark out and the time read 6:43am. it must've been the delusion that made him type out the comment, or the fact that he hadn't actually slept yet. but either way he made a comment and that, that was the beginning of the start of everything.

────

you screamed. you actually screamed when you saw the comment on you post. grayson hawthorne??? the grayson hawthorne had watched your video? holy mother of-

the hawthorne's were notorious, all of them were, but grayson, he had the largest fanbase. the most obsessive one. the one with the girls that go crazy over anything and everything about him. its insane to think that he had commented on your video.

you thought it might've been just a once off. y'know he was just scrolling on youtube - yeah right thats not believable at all - and he happened to stumble across your video?

or maybe it was xander, he's followed you for a while actually, occasionally commenting and flirting with max in the comments. maybe he put grayson up to it. a once off.

so grayson commenting on your video really meant nothing - lies it meant everything - nothing, it meant nothing. who even cares? you definitely don't.

────

yn.books

liked by alya.green, maxine.liu.loo graysonhawthorne and 346, 282 others

yn.books what are you reading right now? (psst the book of the month is divine rivals by rebecca ross!)

view all comments

user1 the book queen posted!!!

user2 i bought divine rivals yesterday can't wait until my copy comes!!

user3 i died when i read the end 😭 roman and iris my babies

user4 OH OH OH GRAYSON HAWTHORNE IN THE LIKES??????

user5 RIGHT AND AFTER HE COMMENTED ON HER VIDEO A FEW WEEKS AGO

graysonhawthorne would you recommend divine rivals?

yn.books yes 100% its such a lovely read i definitely recommend you read it!

user6 GRAYSON??????????? GRAYSON??????

user7 GRAYSON HAWTHORNE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?????

────

"you bitch!" your best friend's voice fills your apartment as she rushes inside and stops dead in the living room. "why am i only now just finding out that grayson hawthorne comment on your posts?"

the murderous look on her face has you siting up quickly putting your book down on the couch. "...because i didn't tell you?"

"its the grayson hawthorne. i cannot believe that grayson hawthorne is commenting on your posts!" alya's harsh look turns gleeful as she rushes towards you and jumps on the couch - careful not to land on your book - and sidle up next to you to gossip.

"so why do we think he's interested in you all of a sudden?"

"he's not interested in me, alys."

"nope, he commented on your insta and your youtube, you're one step away from a marriage proposal now- hey, what type of wedding do you want?"

"we don't know, it could be xander's doing or even max's."

"nope you're gonna have kids together i can feel it."

"alya green-"

"OH MY GOD!!!!" she screeches jumping up and down. "OH MY GOD!!"

"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?" you shriek back.

"LOOK!" she's grins shoving her phone into your hand

────

graysonhawthorne

liked by thehawthorneheiress, thexanderhawthorne ticking.time.bomb and 3, 622, 484 others

graysonhawthorne 🏛 💭 📖

view all comments

user1 OOHHHHHHHHHHH

user2 im giggling so hard rn i love this man

ticking.time.bomb why the sudden interest in reading gray?? 🤨 i saw the divine rivals copy in your bag

thexanderhawthorne THIS IS WHY HE HAD THAT BOOK?? gray are you trying to steal my book girl?

maxine.liu.loo excuse me she's my book girlie. not yours i just let you borrow her

user3 oh he's obsessed

user4 wish that was me fr

user5 i want himmmm

user6 the book girlies and the grayson girlies really won today

────

"grayson hawthorne," the sound of jameson's voice was never welcome in grayson's bedroom and clearly by the tone of his voice; this wasn't going to be good.

"when were you going to tell me that you picked up a fictional book? he paused. "even more so, when were you going to tell me that you got said fictional book from a 'book queen' of youtube."

grayson paused his reading and put down his copy of divine rivals, to look at a smirking jameson at his doorway.

"leave, jameson."

"okay gray, but let me know how your book goes, i hear it has a really shocking ending," jamie smiles and slowly walks away, calling out to xander to talk about books.

okay maybe his actions were a little out of character, but he wanted to understand what you were going to say in the next video. he wanted to be in the loop, to undertand what you were talking about.

he wanted to have something to talk to you about.

𐔌 . ⋮ 🏷️ tags .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

@arqbella, @midiosaamor, @maybxlle @reminiscentreader, @ecliphttlunar,

@tornqdowarnings, @catapparently, @zenikswaffleshop, @off-to-th-r4aces, @emila07

[oobbbear]

Witch au rambling I need to get it out

Mainly about Yugo and Hester’s relationship

One thing I never got to explore much in the story is Yugo’s relationship with Hester, with the little time Hester was in Yugo’s life, she was not quite a bad parental figure and Yugo loves her a lot

After Hester’s disappearance, Yugo spent the rest of their life watching Callisto(basically their mom) drowning in this sorrow and hurt of losing Hester, over time in Yugo’s mind Hester’s image becomes this person who put their mom in this sorrow state, despite them once liking Hester their feelings for her slowly becomes hate, this hate might be more towards the event of her disappearance instead of her as a person but that line blurs over the 60 years.

Yugo’s bad impression on Hester might not become this bad if Callisto could get over Hester quicker, but with the life span thing between her and a human, in Callisto’s eyes she’ve only been mourning her wife for 6 years, it’s a long time but not as long as what Yugo experienced which is their entire life time

I had a plot point which is the part that overlaps with Afterland Postal, after Yugo dies, they go on and discover the real reason of Hester’s disappearance, then they bought Hester back so they can reunite and sort their relationship out. Hester really really misses Yugo seeing her kid all grown up and strong would make her so proud. Yugo on the other hand want to punch the hell out of her for making their mom sad.

Have some sketches I made at the time, THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN YUGO DOLUS FRIENSHIP

Btw witch au is gonna be 2 years old next month wild right?????

[residentdeviant]

𝑺𝑶𝑭𝑻𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝑰𝑵𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑩𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀

── .✦ summary

⟢ you‘ve devised a plan to help solve the case and catch the unsub, but what if you don’t live ‘til the end of it?

── .✦ story notes !

⟢ written with re2r/re4r leon in mind ! also, i did my best to have this be a gender neutral reader, but if there’s anything that suggests otherwise, please let me know.

── .✦ word count

⟢ 3.4k !

── .✦ tags ! (warnings included)

⟢ d:bh au, android!leon, second-person, no use of y/n, nickname “lee” is used for leon bc it’s cute and i will die on that hill, angst, minor mention of brian irons, gore, mentions of chris redfield and jill valentine as well as rebecca chambers, fluff kinda???, you get a cat btw, happy ending!

── .✦ a/n !

⟢ this part has definitely been on the longer side of construction lol but i was determined to finish it. it’s unbelievably hard for me to finish projects but i powered through this for me and you! even though it did take me like six months… whoopsies.

⟢ part one!

⟢ part two!

6:57am.

“Good morning, detective,” Leon greeted with a smile as he saw you walk in, seemingly in a better mood this morning. Regardless, it was good to see him feeling better after everything you two had encountered last night.

You smiled at him in return, keeping things light for now. “Morning, Leon,” you reply, waving slightly with one hand and holding your cup of coffee in the other. You made your way to the west office once more, opening the door and walking towards your desk. Getting a shower and some rest last night was definitely needed as well as deserved, and you were more than grateful for both of those.

You pulled out your chair and sat at your desk, ready to get the day started and prepare to catch the guy behind all of this mess. RC was lost in darkness and chaos, repeating the same old loop continuously without stopping for breath, and you wanted to be one of the ones to save this forsaken city. If not you, then who else?

Simple chatter and the click-clacking of keyboard keys were all that could be heard within the west office, the morning starting off rather quiet and slow. You just wanted to get your morning load of work done before doing further investigation on the unsub you had spent the past few days chasing. His attacks were on a regular basis, seemingly everyday, so you suspected that it wasn't long until he would strike again.

As you worked through the practically endless stack of paperwork and android cases popping up every millisecond, you could feel the presence of someone behind you. As you turn, you could see that familiar blond android waiting for you, with the utmost patience. He hadn’t even said anything to disturb you, or even make any noise for that matter, but it was easy to sense another person within your vicinity.

Once you looked at him, his baby blue eyes flickered over to you and he gave you a polite smile before speaking. “We should figure out a plan soon. The sooner we catch the unsub and free the others, the better,” Leon suggested, carefully moving a bit closer to you.

“No worries, Lee. I’ve got it figured out already,” you began. He didn’t seem to expect that, but he welcomed it. “I just need to finish this paperwork, go through a few case details and study our guy a little more before we make any moves. He’s dangerous. We have no room for error.” The android nodded softly, silently agreeing with you.

You had predicted the unsub’s schedule, putting everything together and praying that this was going to work. You were undoubtedly putting your life on the line, yes, but it would be worth it in the end… if you lived long enough to make it to the end of the mission.

The plan you had devised was simple: pose as an android, wander in the unsub’s frequented grounds, get captured by him and then wait for the right time to take him into custody. It didn’t seem easy, and it sure wouldn’t be either, but you had to try. Androids weren’t just robots, designed to do humanity’s bidding — they had minds and hearts. They deserved better than what they got, and you were determined to help them by solving this case and locking this guy up for good.

—

6:37pm.

Night had fallen and your plan had begun. When you had told Leon about it, he seemed nervous? His behavior was slightly off and his LED had been spinning yellow for quite some time. You could tell he was probably worried about the outcome, but you knew what you had to do.

You wandered around the streets in your android uniform and an LED on your temple, acting as if you were working through a task assigned to you before you were suddenly approached by a man who looked like he didn’t know what a shower was. He had green eyes, greasy brown hair and he absolutely reeked. (Like anime convention type of reeked.) Not only that, but he had some odd stains on his clothes. Oil and thirium? That’s gotta be it.

“Excuse me, I need help…” he said, although not coming off as very convincing. “My wife… she’s in trouble. I think she’s having a heart attack. Please! You need to help me!”

This guy needs acting classes. Stat.

“Of course,” you replied, mimicking the rather direct behavior of most androids before following the man — who appeared to be your unsub — into his house. This is him. You knew this place. Now you just had to be cautious and continue with your plan so you could catch him in the act.

You and the man had entered the house, and as soon as he shut the door behind you, he kicked you down, murmuring expletives. It’s like meeting a younger version of Irons. You tried to get up, but he kicked you down once more and made sure you were weak before he dragged you downstairs.

—

“Are you sure that we should wait for their signal? I mean… What if they’re in trouble?” Leon questioned, his LED flashing to yellow for a split second as he looked towards Lieutenant Branagh, the pair camping out within a nearby black sedan. The android knew he should follow the plan, he knew he needed to keep the end goal in mind, but he struggled to do so knowing that there was a slight possibility that you wouldn’t make it out. This job was dangerous, he knew that, but he couldn’t help but… worry?

No.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

He shouldn’t worry, he… he can’t worry. That’s a sign of deviancy. Androids don’t do that.

Stick to your code, get the job done.

“Are you doubting your partner, rookie?” Branagh questioned in return, turning the tables on the poor android. “They’re strong. They can handle themselves. Just trust us on this.”

The blond couldn’t really do anything but nod lightly and anxiously watch the establishment, worrying about you — even if you weren’t aware of it. A future without you was a future he didn’t want to be a part of. It’d kill him inside.

And that scared him.

He hadn’t even known you for that long, but you made him feel a type of way that he couldn’t understand. It was beyond his programming. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way. He wasn’t supposed to feel anything, point blank. As much as he wanted to deny it and pretend that it certainly wasn’t true, Leon may have been deviating, and the only person he could ever tell was you.

—

You could feel the fear all of those androids felt as you were dragged down the stairs by your legs, and any fighting you did was practically useless. This guy was freakishly strong, which would’ve been good to know before you threw yourself in harm’s way. The moment he looked in another direction, you sent the signal and waited for backup. Meanwhile, you begged for your life, as you assumed any android would, as he lifted you and strapped you down on a chair, keeping you in place. The caged androids from before watched in horror, keeping silent but feeling a strong sense of remorse for you. He couldn’t remove vital parts from you and keep you alive like he had done with them, so this felt like your funeral.

“I’ll help you get out of here very soon, I promise.”

They just hoped your promise to them wouldn’t be broken and you’d continue to live on. You showed them kindness, and they would never forgive themselves if they couldn’t do the same for you.

The man who was confirmed to be your unsub was at a workbench, stained with thirium, oil and human blood. It was disgusting. One part of you knew your team was mere moments from busting in and taking this guy in for good, but the other part of you was still petrified. You could so easily be killed if they weren’t fast enough, and you hoped and prayed that they were.

As the dark-haired man grabbed his tools, a familiar face came sprinting down the stairs — 9mm in hand.

“Drop your weapons and put your hands up where I can see them!” he commanded. Leon, thank God. Lieutenant Branagh as well as a few other officers followed, aiming their guns at the suspect. Knowing he was caught for good, he raised his hands, allowing his loose sleeves to slide down a bit and reveal his left arm that used to belong to an android. He’s harvesting them for parts. God, that’s gross.

As Branagh and the other officers detained the man that was soon to be identified as Brent Phillips, Leon came over and helped you out of your confines before giving you a hug to help calm you down. Not only that, but to reassure him that you were safe, and no harm could be done to you anymore. There wouldn’t be another story like Samuel and Martha’s. You got to live, and he got to see your smile again — which was worth more than gold to him.

—

While your team took Phillips in, Leon stayed at the crime scene, doing further investigation. You freed the poor droids left to rot within the cage, deciding to get them fixed up and sent back to their original families. “You kept your promise,” one said with a soft voice, sounding slightly surprised yet grateful nonetheless.

“Of course I did. I couldn’t leave you guys behind,” you replied with a small smile. Another officer escorted the androids out, leaving just you and your own android friend in the dark, lonely basement.

It was quiet for a bit as you looked through Brent’s personal items, looking for any sort of motive behind the whole thing other than just using androids for spare parts. Oddly enough, you couldn’t find anything. Lots of family photos hidden away, so maybe he wanted to keep his happy and comfortable family life hidden away from his dark and twisted deeds.

“He lost his arm in a car accident,” the blond stated after shuffling through Brent’s journals. “He couldn’t afford a medical bill, so he stole androids and used them instead… but he got addicted. He kept messing with them… tore them apart, left them for dead like it’s nothing… like we’re nothing.”

Your eyes flickered over to Leon, examining his sorrowful expression as his LED shifted to yellow. You walked over to him, gently rubbing his back to try to ease him. “I’m sorry, Lee. But at least now, it can’t happen again. Lives were lost, but there were many more saved. It’s gonna be okay.”

The blond android sniffled a bit, and his LED slowly returned to blue once more. He thanked you before making his way upstairs to step outside for a bit and get some air. You looked around for a few more minutes before returning to him.

And when you did, you definitely weren’t planning on telling him that you found Martha in the mini fridge.

—

A few days had gone by and the case was closed. Brent was detained, Martha’s body had been found and sent into the lab, the other androids were free and everything else fell into place. You and Leon had officially finished your first case together and things were going pretty well. You could tell that he still felt guilty, however, almost as if he could prevent that situation. As if he could prevent death and destruction.

But the poor rookie also knew that it was part of the job. He couldn’t get attached. Attachment was a human emotion, and he was terrified of what could happen if anyone knew of what was happening inside the confines of his android mind. He knew everyone would rat him out, except maybe Branagh, but he knew you certainly wouldn’t.

So he’d cling onto you.

Not just because you’re partners and you’re also his only friend, but because he feels safe with you. He feels safe enough to share all of this with you. You’re the only one who has ever made him feel a sense of humanity and encouraged that. Anyone else would tell him that he had an instability error within his software and he needed to get it fixed immediately, but you were different. You were kind.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

Leon wasn’t sure what this feeling inside his chest was. It was unfamiliar and certainly not in his programming. He needed to figure it out and fast.

–

Quite some time had flown by and androids have fought for equal rights, earning their freedom and the right to live just as humans do. Even so, Leon continues working for the police department, constantly having that desire to help those in need. Not only this, but he also has an apartment in the same building as you, which you helped him decorate after work for about four days. Although the finished result was quite lovely and you always wanted to help your friends, so there wasn’t a desire to complain.

Those aren’t the only changes, however. After the successes of your first three cases together, you and Leon are officially a team. Probably even one of the best that the RPD has to offer! You had taken on most of the android cases together and solved just about all of them. Branagh was pretty impressed and you two even received the opportunity to join S.T.A.R.S alongside Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine and Rebecca Chambers, but after some thought, the two of you politely declined. It just wasn’t in your interests at this time and you were happy with things as they are.

Except for one thing – you and Leon.

You were partners and now best friends, but now what? You wanted more than that. How could anyone be happy with just that? Maybe your coworkers would tease you about crushing on an android, and goodness knows what your relatives would say, but you knew that it didn’t matter what they thought. As long as you’re happy, then who cares?

But you weren't happy. Not like this. So you decided that you’d just have to tell him.

You just hoped he wouldn’t short circuit or something.

Your shift was coming to a close for the night and you couldn’t have been happier. Although you loved being able to help others through your job, you didn’t love the paperwork that came along with it. You powered through the last few pages and then began to grab your belongings, putting them in their rightful places before pushing your chair back towards your desk.

“Heading out for the night?” your blond partner asked, seemingly popping in out of practically nowhere.

You give him a nod and a small smile, “Yeah, I’m ready to go home and get dinner. Want a ride?”

“That’d be great, thanks.”

Mere moments later, you and Leon were heading back to your apartment building in your car. Gentle rain pitter-pattered along the expanse of the automobile, bringing you two a sense of warmth and comfort during the cold night. Well, the heat was also on, so that probably helped, too.

The car ride was full of chatter at first as you two talked about what you had been up to lately other than work. He had been watching Star Wars movies again and playing videogames, you had been watching your own favorite movies and tending to your hobbies. The conversation died off after a while, and you quickly noticed that Leon seemed a little off, like he was thinking about something rather deeply. You decided to let him come to you when he was ready, but your train of thought was interrupted as he softly spoke your name.

“I need to talk to you about something,” the blond suddenly spoke, his tone and body language giving you the feeling that he was quite anxious.

“Yeah, sure… shoot,” you replied simply, eyes focused on the road.

He thought about his choice of words for a moment, and you swore you could almost hear the whirring of the fans in his android head, like when you haven’t cleaned your PS4 in a while and it sounds like a fighter jet taking off.

“I have this feeling when I’m with you, and I don’t know what it is exactly but I know it’s good. It’s a positive one, but not one I feel when I successfully accomplish a mission with no casualties or when I hang out with my friends or something. It’s different. It’s deeper than that, it’s…”

Love. He loves you.

The entire time, he wouldn’t look at you. He couldn’t look at you, even if he tried. His bionic heart was racing at what felt like a million miles an hour, and he was struggling to even find the words for what he was feeling. But he knew you’d understand; you always did. That was one of the many things he loved about you. You always made him feel understood and safe around you. Even before androids gained equal rights, you treated him as if he was your equal with no questions asked. You gave him the freedom to act and do as he so pleased, and he was immensely grateful for that. You gave him everything he could ever want, and in return, he wanted to give you his heart.

You smoothly pulled up to the apartment complex, parking in your usual spot and then turning to face Leon. He didn’t finish what he was going to say, but he figured that you already knew. He especially thought so when you looked at him a little closer and saw a slight blue tinge on his cheeks (which he made a feeble attempt to hide). He softly cleared his throat, turning to face you, although still shy about the whole ordeal. “So… if you’ll have me…”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

–

In the following months, you and Leon had gone on several successful dates that served to secure the beginning of your future together. The two of you often went stargazing, browsing in record shops and had countless movie marathons when you just wanted to stay home. You eventually moved into a nice house together, which had a mailbox decorated with your names and handprints. Not only that, but you even adopted a cat! (And totally didn’t name them after a Transformer…)

One night in particular, you and Leon were lying on your shared bed, comfortable as ever as he snuggled up behind you with your adorable cat resting in front of you. You were fast asleep, dreaming of goodness knows what, but it must be nice since you were smiling to yourself even in REM. Leon, however, was wide awake, listening to your soft breathing and remaining lost in his thoughts. It had been a long time that he had been living with human rights, and living with human feelings for even longer, but he still wasn’t used to them. He still lived within awe of your kindness and he still felt a sense of curiosity when you showed him any semblance of affection.

He may never know if he’ll ever adjust as easily as other androids do when it comes to stuff like this, but he does know one thing: he will always cherish it. He’ll always feel a sense of relief when either one of you returns home from work. He’ll always be grateful for the meals you share together. He’ll always love it when you sit on the back porch with a glass of lemonade in hand, gazing at him longingly as he happily does yardwork “like normal people do.” But most of all, he’ll always love you in any and every form. There’s nothing he wouldn't do for you.

As he closes his eyes and allows himself to go into a dormant state, he takes in everything about you and recommits it to his memory – hoping to dream about you. And as he sleeps, he knows that anything and everything in the world couldn’t be better than this. No treasure is as precious as a future with you.

I want to thank three of my loved ones for helping me proofread the whole series, but I also want to simultaneously apologize because they waited about four to six months for me to finish part three lol. I also want to thank you for reading this mini series! I appreciate all of the love and support you guys have given me and I couldn’t be more grateful. I haven’t written and uploaded a fic online in a good few years, but all of you have given me the confidence I needed to return to it.

I have another project in progress, but goodness knows when I’ll finish it lol. Until then, I will try to keep you guys updated and fed whenever possible. I love you all.

[pelideswhore]

If the apple of discord was thrown down at the wedding feast of Peleus and Thetis, how did Achilles, their son, fight in the Trojan war? The timeline does not make sense to me unless you just chalk that up to the timing of the Eternal, Deathless Gods but mortals are involved. Like Paris is presumably asked right after the wedding to judge who gets the apple then he picks Aphrodite who has promised him the most beautiful woman. Does she like wait to find out who that is and that causes the delay? The story seems to go that she promises Helen, they kidnap Helen and then the war begins so like that’s a year tops in my mind but how would that give Achilles time to become the teenager he is in the war? Please help. If there is a definitive answer excellent but I also just want theories.

i really love love love this question, cus i’ve thought about it a lot, especially because i consider Paris and Achilles to be around the same age, which, as you said, would make no sense.

sadly, i don’t have a definitive answer, but i do have a theory. it’s quite long though so buckle up.

As you probably know, Aphrodite, Hera and Athena asked Zeus to solve the issue before resorting to Paris. Zeus couldn’t answer and by the timeline of the Gods, many mortal years had passed so Paris would have been born, sent away from the palace and had enough time to grow up at this point. Ares suggests him, the goddesses ask and Paris gets bribed. But he doesn’t take Helen straight away, because he’s still a goatherd at this point.

Before I finish with that, let’s get back to Achilles. One would probably assume that within the first year of Thetis’ and Peleus’ marriage, he was already born, but that’s actually not true. The couple had six sons before Achilles, but they all passed away somehow (which, i like to think, is the reason Thetis is so protective). That means, even if they all died on Day 1 of their life and Thetis conceived the very same day: 9 months x 6 = 54 months aka. 4,5 years. That’s at least 4 and a half years before Achilles was born, but I think I can safely assume it took a little longer. Let’s say 6 years (which btw is still unrealistic and would probably be horrible for Thetis’ health but I digress).

So now, Achilles is born, stuff happens: Achilles meets Phoenix and Patroclus, he gets sent to Chiron, and eventually Scyros etc. Let’s say he’s 17 when that happens. Still a teen, but old enough to get Deidamia pregnant. Realistically, Thetis would only send him away when the threat of the war is imminent, so Helen’s kidnapping happens when Achilles is 17. I tend to say Helen was around 24, Paris was maybe 21. I believe however that the Judgement of Paris happened a couple years before.

Because, consider, Paris picks Aphrodite as a goatherd, but he kidnaps Helen as a prince. So somewhere in between, Cassandra must've found him and brought him back. He then had to get used to royal life, but, more importantly, all the ships had to be ready to go to Sparta. It could've happened in a couple of days, but a couple of years isn't unrealistic either, and it fits the timeline better.

It's a bit all over the place, so here's summary:

0 years: Peleus' and Thetis' wedding, Golden Apple incident (Paris/Achilles not born)

2 years: Paris is born and abandoned.

6 years: Achilles is born.

19 years: The Judgement of Paris happens, Paris is still a goatherd.

23 years: Paris kidnaps Helen, start of the war, Achilles is aged 17

The only time ‘divine timing’ really plays a role is between the wedding the Judgement of Paris. In divine timing 19 years is nothing, just enough time for Zeus and Ares to get involved. Paris would’ve probably already held one or two bullfights at the age of 17 when he is chosen to judge between the goddesses and from then on everything runs pretty smoothly, bearing in mind the 4 years between Aphrodite promising Helen to him and Paris actually kidnapping Helen.

sorry it took so long to post this, had to get my thoughts in check then type it up :D