#afraid of love

[starryvomit]

=♥️>

[endlessmidnights]

I’m afraid that the kind of unconditional love I want doesn’t exist

[kaywrites23]

Please don’t break my heart because… because I don’t think I could survive it.

I don’t think I could survive the heartbreak that would come with losing you…

[killabeeblog]

[princeruby]

This playlist shows me claiming my beloved with my heart in flames, only to face the inevitable dissolution of love, as the demon devours everything I hold dear. 😣 🥶

[latibuleofwords]

She braced her hands on the railing and gazed at the skyline, it gave her comfort and tranquility she desperately needed.

The airy silence had a striking contrast to the music playing downstairs.

She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping the night would end sooner rather than later.

Just then, she heard the back door open and the sound of footsteps followed until they stopped right beside her.

She didn't need to open her eyes to guess who it was, the familiar cologne overwhelming her senses and sending her mind to overdrive.

"What are you doing here?", she asked with a hint of exhaustion lacing her voice.

He glanced at her and said," Just came here to admire the view and get away from the chaos downstairs...and I must say, it's quite entrancing, wouldn't you agree?", he questioned.

She opened her eyes, catching a glimpse of the man she once felt contempt for from the corner of her eye before turning her attention back towards the cityscape.

"Hmm", she nodded lightly," How was Russia?"

"Ah, you missed me", he smirked.

She rolled her eyes," Don't push it. I simply asked out of courtesy."

He stared at for several beats "So you did miss me", he said, eyes twinkling with amusement.

She turned her gaze towards him and stared into his eyes.

Of course she missed him. She missed him every second of the day. She missed their banter, she missed his warmth, she missed his touch, she missed the deep look in his eyes...she missed him, but she wouldn't dare say it.

She didn't want to deal with the consequences of love instead she decided to step back and just let go.

[triple3j]

There’s nothing more fun in life then staying up together talking till 5 am with soft music playing in the car. But at the same time there’s nothing more scary than doing just that, because you know it won’t last forever.

[ladyjanewatertonroseshire10]

Afraid of Love

I'm 28 year old lady and I have been single since birth. Having flings are unappealing to me because I want a serious and honest relationship with a guy. Crushes are temporary and by luck, I get a nanosecond of a guy's attention before he find someone worth their time. But, I guess that's my fault since I'm closed off and my lack of social skills. I lack the ability to flirt and it doesn't help when you're an introvert who's socially awkward. Guys never approached me and I don't have the courage to approach one either. I don't have a problem being single. Slowly, learning and loving myself more but it doesn't mean I don't want a relationship. In fact, I love to be in a relationship where I can love and care for the guy I love and his as well. I want to experience snuggling with him on the couch while we're watching movies, holding hands and smiling at each other when we walk down the street, bantering and laughing at our silliness and slow dancing to our song. But, the problem is I'm afraid. I'm afraid of love. It's not because I have commitment issues. One thing about me is I'm very loyal and not afraid to commit. What I'm afraid of is him falling out of love for me. I'm afraid when I wake up in the morning, I don't see the love in his eyes anymore. He would say the words I fear the most, 'I don't love you anymore', and gets up and leave. I'm left crying and heartbroken. I'm afraid that I'm not worth enough for him to stay.

I have some experiences where a guy would reach out to me in social media and we would talk ang laugh for long hours. They would flirt with me and I would try to flirt back but I ended up complimenting him which they will laugh and say they find it cute but it doesn't last long. The last message would always be me greeting them good morning and telling them to have a great day and be safe. They left me on read and never replied back. The last one I thought it was going to last.

He reached out to me on Instagram in the year 2020, in the middle of the pandemic. I was skeptical at first because he's a very handsome guy and told me I'm beautiful. I ended up replying later on and we've been talking to each other for two years. He would make me smile and laugh with his cute flirting and we would talk about our dreams and goals. He would tell me his silly pickup lines and I would smile and laugh. I felt happy when he said he liked me because I liked him as well. He told me he hoped I wasn't talking to anyone else and reassured him I wasn't which was true. But, he never said we were couple and I don't want to presume we were because he never made it official and I don't know if I should say something or not. We lasted for two years and I was slowly falling for him but not once he said we were exclusive. His last message was his reply from the joke I learned from Tiktok. Then, a few weeks passed he never messaged me. At first I thought, maybe he was busy with work or resting so I let it be. One day, I decided to message him and asked how he was doing. Only to find out I can no longer view his IG profile. He blocked me. How did I know he blocked me? I have another IG account with a different name. I created it when I was still in college. His profile used to be private but then he made it public. I saw his new posts and stories. I checked the dates and it was the exact same time where he stopped messaging me. I never saw those posts and stories which meant he hid it from me before he blocked me. I saw his IG story with a girl and they were traveling together. In his post, he captioned the girl as 'his love'. I was heartbroken and I felt so stupid. I cried and mend my broken heart. I was like that for two months. It was funny because we started in August 2020 and ended in August 2022. Sadly, he never told me we were couple and maybe that's why he just did what he did. Although, I wished he would talked to me that he found someone and want to end things. I mean sure I would be heartbroken but I will let him go. I won't beg him to reconsider and stay. I just wanted closure but I guess what he did was closure enough.

I know it's ridiculous to get affected but I can't help it. When he blocked me, it felt like I was a piece of trash. Easy to throw away. It made me feel I was never important and not worth his time. To me, my worst fear became a reality. Now, I'm scared it's going to happen again once a guy reaches out or approaches me.

I want to fall in love and be happy but at the same time I'm afraid. I'm afraid he would leave and I don't want to get hurt. The idea of him falling out of love for me at any time scares me.

[dazeddemona]

escape is a heavenly sin.

it’s the love & the fear

that your dying in.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[starryvomit]

“love aversion”

-S

[melmodest]

YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE

– I love you.

– I'm sorry you do.

If you love me,

accept my apologies.

It was your gravest mistake

to fall for someone

who doesn't know how to love you back.

You choose to love a catastrophe,

who plays knives and needles,

shutting doors with a loud thud,

locking them from the inside

to make a twisted point.

You choose to love a troublesome kid

with a snarky temper,

sharp-tongued,

and a behavior of the weather,

who could've grown into a serial,

but a brain deviation prescribed 'to live in their own head'

and handed a maladaptive daydreaming.

You choose to love a ghost,

wandering on Earth goalless,

because they've died one too many times,

there is no memory of an unfinished business they're chained to,

no beacon

that can be found,

can gift the ghost freedom.

You choose to love a respiratory sickness,

a virus that wants to be friendly,

but its core is a burgundy paint leaking from the veins,

acidulous,

puts you under the influence of a potential theatrical tragicomedy too fast,

a show of low quality,

definitely underfunded,

makes you gasp from a perpetual sultriness,

selfish in its desire to gloat over a wilting flower.

Everything I do is a warning sign on the road.

You fall asleep peacefully,

I take a detour towards the backdoor.

You trust me, and I keep disappointing.

I run in circles, but God knows,

I've tried

and tried,

and tried again.

I tried to sign up for a restart.

It didn't work, so I stopped.

If you love me,

accept my apologies.

I'm sorry for being such an unsweet thing to enjoy.

I am a sour lemon eaten plain,

a bitter taste of espresso,

a rocky path you keep tripping over,

but because of your gigantic and unbending stubbornness

refuse to withdraw.

I'm not a prize glorious enough for you to carry with pride.

Just a stranger who pops up uninvited,

spits nonsensical stories and strikes unhinged smiles at you,

who dances around jollily and feeds you

with promisespromisespromises.

– Please, don't love me.

You choose to love a car crash.

The aftermath of is an epitaph.

– I'm sorry. I do.

.

[domnq88]

I think I…might be in love…

And I’m scared.

I want the feeling to go away.

But it won’t

And it seems like I keep getting closer

Why is my reaction is to run….?

I want love….but why is my reaction to run?

I’m taking therapy so maybe it’ll help…

It’s just…I don’t wanna fuck it up….

Like.

Some guy at work tried to convince me to go with someone on the side

Other guys have treated me like that so why do that?

Made me feel like second best cause I was always the backup

Plan B or C

Like…?

I don’t like dating like that.

I wish him all the best if he doesn’t choose me.

But I hope he does.

I already chose him.

He’s my number one choice.

I don’t want anybody else.

I might just say fuck it if it don’t work out

I’m scared it won’t work out…

I’m trying not to be scared…

I feel like he chose me.

I’m just really nervous.

I hope I make him happy somehow.

I want us to be happy together.

I’m just focusing on getting myself together too…

Trying to be happy by myself for now.

I just got my orange belt in taekwondo 🥋

I’m trying to make friends

I’ve gotten a dietitian to eat right

(Apparently I’m not eating enough protein or fiber and veggies)

I hope we meet in the middle

I wanna be by his side to cheer him on!

I hope he wants to be by my side too!

Holy crap I think I’m in love

🥰

[cripplingmind]

For as long as I’ve been dating I’ve always thought I knew the extent to which I could like someone. To crave them. And just to want to be with them. Sit next to them in silence.

But this time it’s different. I’m in way too deep and I’m scared I’m really falling for him.

I’ve tried to keep this guard up and not let myself get hurt. But Ive realized I’m terrified. I’ve never let myself like someone this much. Why does it have to be my best friend.

[notmyname99]

afraid of falling in love

afraid of falling

afraid

af

[simplyharleen]

At what point or at what phase should you let go of someone you thought was for you? Someone who proved you wrong every time you thought they were done and kept fighting. Someone that is your safe place that you feel protected by. You keep trying and youR paths keep crossing but life and other things get in the way, when one is ready the other is not. Like two ships passing in the night. Your heart does a silent cry every time.