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sortofanobsession · 1 year ago

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Roy/Jaime fic idea: It's a normal morning and Jaime's getting ready to head out to training. He's just opened the door to step out when he stops dead in his tracks in horror because there standing on the other side of the door is a tiny little toddler with red stains all over her footed onesie, staring back at him, clutching her blanky. Jaime's understandably gonna be late to training.

A/N: This one was an emotional ride that just kept getting longer and longer. But I hope you all enjoy it.

Ao3

Ted Lasso Masterlist

Word Count: 5k+

Paring: Roy x Jamie (Romantic), Jamie x Ted (platonic), Roy x Ted (platonic), Keeley x Jamie (platonic, formerly romantic), Jamie x AFC Richmond Himbos (platonic, duh, but Sam and Jamie are besties)

Content warning: Child endangerment, blood, kidnapping (not by our boys), hospitals, police, orphan child, ptsd, a very scared child, fear, angst, worry, manipulation.

Tiny Morning Visitor

Roy had told Jamie to meet him at the Dog Track for training that morning. And Jamie had every intention to go, but he had opened his door to find a small child. The baby looked sleepy until they looked up at Jamie and started crying. Jamie has a crazy big soft spot for kids, probably because his childhood was so fucked up, and they were just so helpless and innocent. This one was in a little yellow-footed onesie with a bear on it, clutching a blanket. The onesie and the blanket were covered in red stains. Jamie was immediately horrified. He gets his phone out of his pocket with one hand as he carefully picks up the small child with the other. He dials 999 and waits. He has cameras because his dad has done shit, like break into his house. So he'll check those when the police are there. The child buries their tiny face into his jumper and sobs.

Roy is angry. Jamie had said he'd meet him at the pitch but didn't show. After 20 minutes, Roy got in his car with every intention to drive to Jamie's and shout at him. Whatever anger he had vanished when he saw the police cars pulled up outside of Jamie's home. Fear courses through Roy. If anything happened to Jamie, Roy didn't know what he would do. Jamie had been a persistent annoyance in his life. But he was an annoyance Roy enjoyed having around. Roy was out of the car faster than he thinks he ever has been and was stopped by a cop at Jamie's door, but before Roy could even fight the guy, he was being let in.

"Figured you'd come round," Jamie says when Roy gets to his living room. Roy is shocked when he sees a toddler sitting on Jamie's lap being looked over by medics while Jamie apparently talks to the police.

"And you don't know anything else?" The annoyed cop asks.

"I already told you she just showed up. I gave you the files from the cameras. I don't know anything else." The cop steps away to make a phone call.

"What the fuck happened?" Roy asks. Moving to stand where the cop had been. And Roy's heart breaks when he looks at the toddler's tear-stained cheeks and red eyes. She has a white-knuckled grip on Jamie's fingers and clearly has no interest in going anywhere. He gets a glare from the medic for his language.

"Sorry," he mutters.

"They took her blanket as evidence, and she isn't happy about it," Jamie says like somehow, that is what Roy is asking about and not the fact Jamie had missed training because a fucking child showed up on his doorstep.

"Jamie," Roy says, doing his best not to shout at the striker. He knew how easily little kids could spook, and by the way she gripped Jamie's fingers in one hand, and her other fist was wrapped up in Jamie's jumper. She is probably one wrong move away from screaming her head off. "Where did she come from? How did she get here?"

"I have no idea. She was just there at my door when I was leaving to meet up with you. Nearly ran her over." It's quiet again as Roy tries to figure out what to say or do. Roy and Jamie both wince when the medic goes to pick the child up, and she screams. She screams until her face is beet red. Reaching towards Jamie. Roy can't watch this. He takes the child back from the frazzled medic and sets her back on Jamie's lap. Only now, it's Roy's fingers she grips in one hand, and Jamie's jumper is back in her little fist. Roy sighs. He understands the medic just wants to take the child to the hospital, but no one wants to upset the child any more than she already is. Eventually, despite Roy's protest, Jamie agrees to go with her if it will help. And the medic figures it's better than nothing. Roy thinks the entire thing is insane.

"Jamie," Roy says when the medic leaves them for a minute. "You don't even know her." Roy manages to carefully extract his fingers from her grip, using his keys as a temporary distraction. He didn't care if she set his alarm off. The neighbors could go fuck themselves. If they weren’t already watching out their windows or standing in their gardens because of the cop cars. Yeah, fuck them.

"I know, but she doesn't have anyone else right now. One day not training isn't gonna ruin my career, yeah?" Jamie says. "Look at her, Roy." And Roy does. He remembers when Phoebe was that tiny and would just latch on to him and not want to let go. Even when she was a little older, she'd cry if Roy left. Broke his heart every time. Phoebe was easier to deal with now. Buy her ice cream, and she's good. But this little one can't be much older than two, maybe younger. She looked like she was cutting a tooth the way she would occasionally tug Jamie's jumper into her mouth. Probably a molar, and he remembered how exhausted his sister was those days. Not that Jamie seemed to mind. She was small, teething, and terrified. She wouldn't be letting go anytime soon, and Roy knew it. Roy sighed. Fuck. No matter how this ended, Jamie was going to end up heartbroken. He gets too attached too quickly. Roy asks the medic to take her to the Emergency department at the hospital where his sister works and assures them that his sister will help with both the toddler and Jamie. The medic seemed relieved. Roy tells Jamie he'll meet them there.

"She's cute. I'll give you that," Roy's sister, Dr. O’Sullivan, says when she meets Jamie at intake.

"She is," Jamie agrees.

"How about we get her looked at?" she says. Jamie looks uneasy. He looks back at the medic, that is talking to a nurse and giving her details. "You can stay with her. It'll be easier for everyone that way."

"Right, yeah," Jamie follows her to a room.

"You might want to get comfy. You might be here awhile.” She holds the crying toddler as Jamie takes his jumper off and tosses it on the bed since the little girl had already been chewing on it. She clearly liked the material. Jamie sits on the edge of the bed. "There we go," the doctor says as she hands the little one back to Jamie. Jamie hands the toddler his jumper, and she quiets to simple sniffles.

"She's probably your tiniest number-one fan," Roy's sister grins. Jamie gives a nervous laugh.

"Won't lie," Jamie says. "Kinda glad it's you looking after her."

Dr. O'Sullivan grins. "Could say the same thing, Tartt. I already know you're good with kids. Phoe thinks you're the best player out there now that Roy's on the sidelines. That and she thinks you make my brother happy. So I'm sure this little one has been in the best hands under the circumstances." Jamie is stunned. He knew Phoebe likes Jamie. She thought he was funny. He didn't know she spoke so highly of him.

"Phoebe's great, smartest, and probably gonna be the richest if she ever gets your brother to pay his tab."

She laughs. "Oh, she could rent the poshest flat this side of the Thames with what he owes."

The nurse joins them and fills her in, most of which she apparently knew already.

"Roy gave you a heads up?" Jamie asks as the doctor rolls a stool over and takes a seat. She focuses on the little girl with a soft smile. She skillfully extracts one little hand at a time and partially removes the onesie. Setting it aside, most likely to be collected as evidence like the blanket.

"Called right before you got here," She nods. It goes quiet save for her talking sweetly to the child as she examines her. It's a slow process by the way she refuses to let go of Jamie or his jumper. Even more so when he actually has to fill out forms. But the nurse sets them on the bed beside him, and he fills out what he can as the doctor works. The hardest part is when the nurse has to draw blood, and Jamie hates every second of it. The little girl cries the whole time. And she doesn't stop after it's over until the doctor tells him to try bundling her up in his jumper.

"She's probably cold too," the doctor admits. "I'll have someone bring her something from pediatrics."

"Thanks," Jamie says.

"Sit tight, be back in a bit."

A nurse brings a little set of pajama-like clothes for the toddler and helps Jamie get her dressed. The little girl settles back in, using Jamie's jumper as a substitute blanket as the nurse leaves. There is nothing Jamie can do now but wait.

Roy gets an oddly warm feeling in his chest when he gets to the ER and is told where to find Jamie. The little girl sits on Jamie's lap again as he sits on the edge of a hospital bed. She is staring up at Jamie with those big eyes of hers as he quietly talks to her and rubs her back. It is something that will be seared into Roy's memory forever. Jamie is being so sweet and gentle. He doesn't even notice Roy, but that's not a surprise. When Jamie gives his focus to something off the pitch, he usually goes all in. He has nothing but a single-minded focus if he genuinely cares about it. And he clearly cares about his commitment to keeping this wayward tot calm. Roy guesses he's sort of committed, too, seeing as he went to the fucking shops at 5 a.m. to get stuff he knows she needs but the hospital might not provide. And he should probably stop standing there like a fucking idiot staring at Jamie like a fucking creep. He knocked on the door frame. Jamie looks up and smiles, genuinely fucking smiles, when he sees Roy kept his word and showed up. Roy does not know how to feel about all that. It makes his stomach flip when Jamie looks at him like that.

Jamie knows Roy has no obligation to be there. This has nothing to do with training or the team other than the fact it involves Jamie. But Roy is there, and Jamie is happy to see him. Because Jamie may look at ease as he focuses on keeping the kid calm, but he is terrified inside. He has no idea what he is doing. He could be doing everything wrong, but Roy will tell him what to do. Roy wouldn't let him fuck up. He never does. And Jamie adores him for that. Roy is reliable in a way very few people have ever been in Jamie's life. Roy never misses training. Roy takes helping Jamie be better, on and off the pitch, very seriously, and it makes Jamie want to be better. And Jamie can't help the way his heart beats faster when Roy looks at him. When Roy studies him. Fucking smiles at him and tells Jamie he did a good job or that he's a good lad. Fuck, that does things to Jamie that Jamie should feel ashamed of. But he isn't. Because he's Jamie Tartt, and he doesn't have a lot of shame. Almost any day, Roy could command Jamie to his fucking knees, and as long as he calls him a good lad, he would go. Roy could do an infinite amount of nasty things to him, and Jamie would fucking thank him. Fucking hell, he is in a goddamn hospital with a toddler clinging to him. Jamie needs to get his shit together.

"What's in the bag?" Jamie asks.

"Here," Roy says as he pulls out a small and very soft-looking blanket. Before he can fully hand it to Jamie, a little hand grips it tight. He also gets a dummy/pacifier and teething ring out of the bag and sets them on the bed beside the pair. He leaves the pack of diapers in the bag and hopes they don't actually need those because that is not something he ever thought he would have to teach Jamie Tartt. He sets the bag on the table before sitting in one of the chairs in the room.

"Where did you get these?" Jamie asks as he looks at the dummy/pacifier. He picks it up. She reaches out for it, and Jamie lets her have it.

"Shop. You said they took her blanket. It's hit and miss if she would have accepted it, but I guess she's not too picky." Roy points at the discarded jumper. "And the other stuff is to spare your jumper from being a drooly mess. Not that you probably care, but she's going to have to let go eventually. At least now she has something to help keep her calm."

"How do you know all this?"

"Because Phoebe might be 8 now, but she was that small, 6 or 7 years ago. And it's not something you forget when you end up having to help."

"So you've done all this before," Jamie says.

"He has," they look up to see Roy's sister at the door. "And he was pretty good at it."

"Phoebe's always been an easy kid to care for," Roy insists.

"For you, maybe. You're her favorite person."

Jamie watches the siblings and doesn't miss the small smile on Roy's face.

"She's a good kid," Roy states.

"She is, and thankfully, this one seems to be too. Nothing broken. A few bumps and bruises but nothing serious from not being the best at walking on her own and somehow still managing to get to Jamie's door from wherever she was. She wasn't out too long in the cold on a damp and gloomy morning like this one. Her tiny immune system might have taken a hit if you two didn't get up at an ungodly early time to train. Who knows how long she would have been out there."

Jamie looks stricken at that idea, and Roy internally curses because, yeah, Jamie is already too attached. And Roy is too, because he wants to find whoever is supposed to be in charge of this sweet little girl and give them a fucking lesson. She is too small and too sweet to be anything but tucked away safely in a warm bed at 5 a.m. She shouldn't be clutching a blanket Roy brought her in one hand and Jamie's shirt in the other. Fuck, under any other circumstances, Roy would fucking melt at that scene, but this was a child that could have died if Roy wasn't a twisted prick that insisted Jamie train at 4 a.m. A child that is going to have to let Jamie go, and Jamie is going to have to watch her leave. Everyone is going to end up heartbroken. Only the little girl is young enough that she won't remember it. But Jamie will. Roy will too.

"I'll let the police know she is healthy, and someone will come to get her so you guys can head to training." She disappears back into the hall.

"She's lucky," Roy says. "A toddler that young could have gotten really hurt without anyone looking after her."

"What do you think will happen to her?"

"Depends," Roy says. And fuck, the way Jamie holds her tighter, and she tucks her little forehead into his neck. Completely content now she has a blanket and dummy. She looks like she might actually be falling asleep.

"On what?" Jamie asks, his tone soft and quieter than it has been before. And part of Roy's cold heart melts. Fuck, he wants to crawl up there with them. Hold them and protect them from the fucking world. And that is not something Roy was prepared to feel. He has to clear his throat before he answers Jamie.

"On how and if they find her parents. If they find them and they are injured or some shit, they might get her back. They might be shitty parents, and she ends up going to live with a family that doesn't let her wander around Richmond alone at 4 a.m. They might not find them at all. Hard to know until it hits the news. And it will. Lost toddler shows up at famous footballer’s front door. That's headline news." Jamie frowns at what Roy has told him. "Hey," Roy says as he stands up and gives in a tiny bit to that feeling of wanting to protect them. Jamie is someone that needs reassurance often. Roy knows that. Especially if the truth of the matter is hard to swallow, and it is. "Whatever happens, she is lucky you found her. You did good, Tartt. Now you have to let the police do their job. Might not be easy, but it's for the best." Roy can't resist the urge to fix the messy dark curls of the little girl. She looks up at him as he does. Jamie does too, and fuck, that is a goddamn sight Roy won't soon forget. He ignores the urge to just fucking kiss Jamie. Because that is absolutely not happening. That would be taking advantage of a situation where Jamie is worried and looking up to Roy for help. Roy cannot fucking do that.

Jamie watches as Roy's fingers gently work through tiny curls on the sweet little girl's head. Her eyes are half closed as she resists the urge to sleep. Jamie might cry. It is such a soft and sweet gesture. On top of all the things Roy had already gone out of his way to do for them—the things he did for her. Jamie's heart beat wildly in his chest. And Jamie wonders what it would feel like to have Roy's fingers in his hair.

Roy's hand finds Jamie's shoulder and squeezes like he can tell Jamie is more a bundle of frayed edges and nerves than a confident human being. "She has a chance to go home or find a new one that might not have happened if you hadn't been on your way out. Just don't get too attached. She can't be alone in this world. Someone has to know who she is."

Roy was half right. Someone did know who she was. Her name was Maggie Briner, and she had been taken from the scene of an accident by a mentally unstable man earlier that morning. But unfortunately, her parents had passed away in the accident. She had a few distant relatives that didn't have the means or want to take her. Jamie hated the idea of her going into the foster care system. A few days after it happened, Jamie couldn't stop thinking about her, and he'd asked Roy at least a dozen times if he thought she was okay. And Roy couldn't shake the image of Jamie Tartt holding the adorable little girl. It had done something to Roy he hadn't expected. Made him think of family, but not one he had. Not just of Phoebe. But of one he wants now more than anything. And with Jamie fucking Tartt, no less.

"I mean, I can afford a nanny. I have a stupid big house and-"

He's cut off by Roy being in his space. His movements were slow so that Jamie could easily move away if he wanted to. His motives are clear when one hand grips Jamie's face gently. "That's a terrible but beautiful idea," Roy says before he kisses Jamie. Jamie's shock wears off quickly, and he kisses Roy back. One hand gripping Roy's jacket, the other on the back of his neck.

"You going to help me?" Jamie asks, his tone filled with hope and promise.

"Fucking can't let you do it alone. You don't know jack shit about kids," Roy says.

"Good thing Roy fucking Kent is an expert then," Jamie grins.

"Fucking right," Roy says. And Jamie grins before kissing Roy again.

Roy vocally supports Jamie's efforts to adopt Maggie over the next few weeks. They spend hours and hours together working on it. Jamie jokes that nights of turning a spare bedroom in Jamie's flat into a bedroom fit for a growing toddler are date nights. And they are, in a way. They get dinner. They talk. They plan a whole damn future for the kid. One that they both secretly hope they are both part of. It's wildly optimistic, and Roy hopes Jamie doesn't end up losing her case. So Roy does his best to help the world see the version of Jamie Tartt he does. One that has grown up and is ready and willing to take on this responsibility. They even got supervised visits with her. And Roy would watch the supervisor as Jamie would see Maggie. They always seemed pleased at the way Jamie would light up like the Dog Track for an evening match. And so would Maggie. She would talk in her broken toddler English. Happy to see him. Jamie would pick her up and hold her tight. Roy would play with her, and his heart would warm when she smiles at him. Roy even watched his language when there. If he had to behave for this to work, he would. He wasn't going to ruin this for Jamie.

The team is mostly shocked when Jamie tells them he and Roy are together and that Jamie is trying to adopt Maggie. A few even think it's a joke until Roy informs them that it is, in fact, not a fucking joke. That resulted in a lot of paperwork with Laughing Liam in HR. Roy backs Jamie publicly and even admits to the press that Jamie already adores her, and so does Roy. A presser that Rebecca and Higgins had organized when asked by Jamie and Roy. The press asks a ton of questions because having a coach and player not only out as queer but as a couple was unheard of. But Roy insisted it changed nothing for the team and for Roy as Jamie's coach. He still expected the same level of effort he did from all the players. No special fucking treatment from Roy Kent. He already trained Jamie one-on-one. Pushs him harder than he does the others, but only because Jamie asks him to. Jamie is a fucking great player, and he'll be an equally fucking good parent. Roy even agrees in court to help him since he already knows what he's doing and wants to be there with them.

Things took and turn when a cousin of Maggie's mum showed up and wanted to take Maggie. For a while, it seemed like she might actually do it. It had crushed Jamie that he might not get to take Maggie home. And Roy had braced himself for the letdown. Jamie would really need him if that happened. When the adoption team looked into the woman's home, it didn't seem like she was very serious about it at all. She had roommates, and when they were asked about the woman, they gave their honest opinion. The woman hadn't cared about the child until it became publicly known that Jamie Tartt was involved. That this could be her way to get some easy money because if Jamie Tartt and Roy Kent actually cared about this child, they would probably be willing to pay for her. The adoption team had confronted her, and she didn't deny it. Jamie had been so relieved he cried when the judge denied her request.

The day the judge approves Jamie's adoption of Maggie, the team throws a party. Unfortunately, they didn’t warn Roy or Jamie before they did. Everyone was excited to finally meet her. Maggie Tartt was officially part of the Richmond family. Roy cursed all of them as he covered Maggie's ears when they walked into Jamie's flat to loud cheering. You would think that it would be hard to take Roy Kent seriously as his big hands covered tiny ears, but nope. He was more terrifying than usual since the loud noise and number of strangers had been enough to scare the 21-month-old girl. And to everyone’s surprise, she wanted Roy. So Roy ended up taking her into the kitchen, leaving a still mostly happy Jamie to deal with the team.

Higgins and Ted follow Roy into the kitchen to make sure they are okay.

"I know, sweetheart," Roy says quietly as he gently wipes away tears with her blanket. "No one's going to hurt you here, I promise." Ted just watches as his fearsome and intimidating assistant coach bounces a toddler on his hip. It was a strange dichotomy.

"I told them she was too young for a surprise party, but they thought Jamie would like it," Higgins says. "She has been through far too much in such a short time to enjoy it."

"You're not wrong," Roy says as he shifts her so her head rests on his shoulder. "Unlike you, Higgins, they all share half a brain, and no one has custody of it today."

Ted laughs, which has Maggie focusing on him.

"Well, aren't you a little ray of sunshine," Ted says when she smiles at him from behind her dummy.

Roy huffs a laugh. "Of course she likes you."

"Well, I'm honored. She clearly has good taste of she showed up here. Must have known Jamie was one for spontaneous commitments."

"Spontaneous commitments," Roy actually laughs. "That is by far the nicest way anyone has put it so far. My sister called it the dumbest good decision we could make, but she was all for it. Probably helped persuade the adoption team. She's good at that. Phoebe is dying to meet her already. She already has plans for her little cousin."

"Oh, they are going to be the best of friends," Higgins says with a soft smile.

"Like a hound dog and fox in a Disney movie," Ted grins. Roy shakes his head.

"You ready to meet a bunch of idiots that will spoil you rotten?" Roy says, looking down at the child in his arms. He is mostly sure Maggie isn't going to have a full-blown meltdown. They all rejoin the party.

"All good?" Jamie asks. Accepting the now happy little girl when she reaches for him. Both are smiling.

Roy grunts. He glares at the team until Jamie elbows his ribs. "They mean well."

"So did Magneto and Ozymandias," Roy grumbles.

"Did you just make not one but two cultural references?" Ted asks.

"Of course, you agree with supervillains from comic book movies," Isaac says.

"To be fair, both have been seen as heroes," Sam says. And the team ends up debating the morals of comic book characters, and Roy is fine with that because the focus is no longer on Maggie. She is already starting to fall asleep as she settles into her new life.

A week or so after Maggie is moved in, Roy does too. Because it's easier to help Jamie parent if he is actually there as the other parent. The press has a fucking field day again. Roy doesn't give a shit as long as they stay far enough away from all three of them. And Jamie is too happy to care. Phoebe spends as much time with her new cousin as possible. Roy has to actually tell her no on more than one occasion because Phoebe still has school. He has to remind her that Maggie isn’t going anywhere. Roy’s sister is delightfully amused. Keeley had gone overboard when Jamie had asked her to be Maggie’s godmum. She’s the happiest godmum that exists. Thankfully, Sam is a far more practical godparent. He dotes upon his godchild, more so by spending time watching shows that would be mind-numbing for adults and teaching her languages. Roy gets an app to learn them as well. He can’t have his kid knowing languages that he doesn’t, at least not this young. She can study whatever she wants when she’s older. He just wants to be able to share things with her.

And it goes relatively well until they have an away match in Manchester. Keeley is a huge help with most match days. She helps watch Maggie. Even makes sure Maggie has all the little Richmond gear that matches Jamie's kit for every possible weather event and in sizes she'll grow into. Jamie cried the first time his daughter wore his number. And Roy did admit she was fucking adorable. This match day had the added benefit of Georgie and Simon getting to meet Maggie in person. Not just facetime calls on Jamie's phone. They had special tickets to sit with Keeley and Rebecca in the box. Roy insisted Maggie's tiny little ears be protected any time she was at a match. And Jamie had thought she looked so tiny with the protective ear covers on, but she thankfully left them on. Roy had been worried she'd take them off. Kids, especially that young, couldn't understand why these things were important. On her bad days, she wouldn’t wear them, which meant she stayed home with her carer. But he didn't have to fight her on it for this particular match, so he'd let her go with them. Something Roy regretted when James Tartt, Sr. tried to get between his ex-wife and Keeley when she and Maggie met Georgie at the gate. Georgie held Maggie tight as Keeley called for security. James was apparently not a fan of his son playing house with his fucking coach and wanted his opinion known. Simon stepped in, but it was a volatile situation. Roy had been called out to help handle it, and he fucking did so by slamming his fist into James Tartt's face, warning him if he ever went near his family again, he'll be in a hospital bed instead of handcuffs. Roy then took his daughter into his arms and led Keeley, Jamie's mum, and stepdad, down to the locker room with him. James Tartt was hauled off by security. They usually didn't let Maggie in the locker room before a match to keep the team focused on the game, but no one blamed him this time. They would have been distracted no matter what. At least there, all Maggie's unofficial uncles that adored her could see she was okay. Dani Rojas has the biggest soft spot for her. He thought she was the most adorable little thing in the world. Jamie had easily agreed.

Jamie was quick to take her while the medic looked over Roy's bruised knuckles, and Keeley and Beard dealt with security.

"My sexy little baby has his own sexy little baby now," Georgie grinned when Jamie handed Maggie to his mum so he could finish double-checking his kit. Jamie smiled at that. He tried to focus on how happy his mum and Simon were to meet Maggie—tried not to think about his father. He wasn't going to be like his father. He hated his dad and tried to ruin everything again. Jamie was going to be the best dad he could possibly be, but not to spite his dad. No, he was going to be a good dad because it's what Maggie deserves. He wants her to have a home with loving parents, and the fact Roy was right there beside him made Jamie feel like the luckiest guy in the world. He wasn't going to let his dad tarnish that. Especially today, since his mum was there. Almost his whole family was there, everyone but Phoebe and her mum. And Phoebe got to see Maggie at least once a week. This was a great fucking day. His dad couldn't take that happiness from him if he tried because Jamie will fight him for it. He was done letting his father control him. He had a family to protect and a reason to fight now. He'd fight tooth and nail to keep his family in his life. Roy and Maggie are his world. And no one was going to take that from him. And it didn't feel like a burden, especially knowing that Roy is by his side and has already proved he'd take the world on for them. He'd take on the press and put James Tartt, Sr in his place. Nothing was going to get between Roy Kent and his family, and walk away unscathed. Nope, the world thought Roy Kent was a hardcore brawler on the pitch. God help anyone that got near his family in public. Paparazzi would find he has a terrifying edge to him when it came to protecting those he loved. And they so much as approach Jamie and Maggie or even Phoebe and Roy was right fucking there like a goddamn grizzly bear wrecking their shit and protecting what was his. And Jamie fucking loved every second of it because Roy would just want to hold them close after that. Tell them they were his everything, and he'd destroy anything or anyone for them. It was like a fairytale, and Jamie never wanted it to end.

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sortofanobsession · 1 year ago

Note

hi! i’ve genuinely read every single one of your roy/jamie fics and i’m obsessed with your writing!

i’d love an angsty established relationship fic — they get into a fight or break up but they’re trying to not have it affect the team or jamie’s playing but it’s hard when they have to see each other everyday. so the team + coaches try to parent trap them back together x

A/N There was a second ask that added this: i just wanted to add i love the way u depict darker themes so diving into their respective unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing with the breakup would be amazing to read! x

I honestly wanted to keep what breaks them up vague, because I thought it was bit more interesting wondering. I have what I think it was, and I drop hits. But I might save that for it's own thing...maybe not sure.

Word count: 6k+

Ao3

Ted Lasso Masterlist

Paring: Roy x Jamie (Romantic), Jamie x Ted (platonic), Roy x Ted (platonic), Keeley x Jamie (platonic, formerly romantic), Jamie x AFC Richmond Himbos (platonic, duh, but Sam, Dani and Jamie are besties)

Content warning: Anxiety, nausea, mentions of vomiting, heavy drinking, mentions of violence, fear, paranoia, manipulation, injury, self-esteem issues, ptsd, self-deprecation, swearing/cursing/cussing, jealousy.

It’s Phoebe, so yeah

Roy had been staying with his sister until he could find a new place, and as much as he loved his sister and Phoebe, it was frustrating.

"Just admit you miss Jamie," his sister said as she sipped her tea as her brother prepared for training.

"Like a hole in my head," Roy says.

"You don't think just abruptly stopping his training will mess with his game?"

"So you think I should have stayed in a failing relationship so he doesn't suck?"

"I am just saying, don't take shit out on him or the team. You aren't the only one miserable here," his sister says.

"You think I'm that unprofessional?"

"You took your shit with Keeley out on Jamie, but the difference is, back then, he was a willing participant. Just don't ruin your career as a coach because you and your boyfriend had a spat and broke up."

Jamie is fucking miserable. He hates being alone. Dread had already had his morning shake threatening to make a reappearance twice before he made it to the Nelson Road car park. But he had nearly two decades of hiding his pain and misery. And heartbreak couldn't be as hard as hiding bruised ribs or broken toes, right? The team didn't have to know they split. How would they know that Roy had left him? Roy wouldn't tell them. He didn't like people knowing about his life. All Jamie had to do was go in, change into his kit, do his job, and he could go home and fall apart. He jumped slightly when someone knocked on his window.

"You good, bruv?" Isaac asks when Jamie gets out.

"Yeah, just a rough morning," Jamie says. He is already ruining his own plan.

"Try and shake it off. We have a brutal match tomorrow," Isaac says.

"Yeah, 'course," Jamie agrees as they walk into the building. "I'm sure I'll be fine once we get on the pitch, normalcy, yeah?"

"There we go, good vibes," Isaac says as they enter the locker room. Jamie keeps his head down and goes through the motions of getting changed. He mentally talks himself through the well-rehearsed process to keep his mind from wandering so he doesn't think about anything else. He must mutter something out loud because Cockburn gives him an odd look.

"Miss training this morning?" He asks Jamie.

"What?" Jamie asks, shocked he was so terrible at hiding shit these days.

"You are usually a ball of energy, but you're like a…live wire today," Cockburn says.

"Oh, yeah, slept like shit, so yeah, no training." He didn't have to tell him that it was because Roy didn't want to see him anymore. That Jamie had fucked up and ruined everything again. And now he was risking fucking up the team again. And he hadn't been this anxious for training since he came back to Richmond after getting booted from Man City. Yeah, he just keeps fucking up.

"Well, channel that shit into the ball. You're good at that."

"Yeah, thanks," Jamie says before he finishes changing. When his boots are laced, he doesn't wait to be told to head out. He just does. Maybe Cockburn is right, and he can work his shit out on the pitch. He is already out warming up by the time the team joins him. He doesn't notice the way Ted and Beard look at each other as Jamie silently joins them.

Roy does everything he can to avoid looking at Jamie. He won't admit it out loud, but he's a bit concerned about what he will see when he finally does. He hadn't missed what Cockburn had said or how Jamie had responded from where he was waiting on Ted by the office. He thinks about what his sister has said, and then Cockburn calling Jamie a live wire. But this is Jamie Tartt. Sure, he might have an off day, but he's young. He's talented. He'll bounce back in a day or two. He ignores the tiny voice of doubt in the back of his mind that points out Jamie never got over Keeley. If he did, it was because of Roy. So he might not get over it until he finds someone new. And that made something twist in Roy's stomach. The idea of Jamie with anyone hurt, even though Roy was the one that walked out. He had no right to be mad at a hypothetical version of Jamie. So he tried to focus on doing his job. He was thankful that Ted called for 11 on 11. That meant Roy wouldn't have to try and coach Jamie and the other forward players directly yet. Because he isn't sure, he is ready. That little voice is back, asking him if he ever will be. He has to finally look at Jamie when he misses an easy shot. And just looking at him, he can already tell Jamie is being harder on himself than anyone else could be. He knows that from the way Jamie waves off Dani and Sam, trying to cheer him up. Normally, Roy would go over, hype Jamie up, and get him over whatever is in his head, and it would be fine. But Roy's the problem this time. He knows it. He is the one that packed his shit and walked out on Jamie. And he can't do that to Jamie. He doesn't want to be that couple that breaks up constantly. No. He has to stay away from Jamie. It's for Jamie's own good. He's young. Being with Roy could fuck up his career. The little voice points out he already has. Jamie's a mess, missing wide-open shots and shutting out his friends. Jamie’s backslid, and it's Roy's fault. Roy really needed a drink. As soon as he got out of training, he was going to the pub.

Jamie is wound tight like a spring and rung out like a rag by the time training ends. He doesn't say anything to anyone. He just changed and goes home. At home, he doesn't eat or even change out of his clothes. He face plants on his bed, which still kinda smells like Roy, and tries to shut his brain off. He stays there until he eventually falls asleep after hours of tossing and turning. He wakes up, and everything is dark except for his phone. His phone is ringing.

"Hmm?" He answers.

"Jesus, Jamie, I've been trying to get a hold of you for hours. The team is freaking out. What is going on?"

"Roy broke it off," Jamie tells her.

"I'm sorry, babe, how you feeling?"

"Like shit," Jamie admits.

"Right," Keeley says as she thinks about it. "You get some sleep tonight. I'll let Sam know we talked. He's worried. And I'll come by tomorrow night, and we can talk, yeah?"

"Okay," Jamie says. He hangs up, double-checks his alarm, and goes back to sleep.

Roy goes to the pub but ends up just getting food and leaving. He was not in the mood to deal with annoying fans. Normally he just tells them to fuck off, but he just wants to eat his dinner and drown his sorrows. So he goes back to his sister’s, goes to her liquor cupboard, and grabs a bottle, not really caring what it is. He pours a glass of whiskey and eats his dinner. Phoebe joins him, and he goes through the motions of listening to her. He tries, but he just doesn’t have it in him to entertain her. But he doesn’t send her to her room or get mad at her. It’s her home, and he’s just crashing there. The glass doesn’t stay empty for long. He drinks a bit more than he probably should before he passes out on the couch. He wakes up with a hangover. He finds a bottle of water and painkillers left for him by his sister. And he hates himself for being so stupid and being a burden on his family.

Jamie’s stomach threatens to reject the small breakfast he managed to eat. But like the day before, he pushes through.

"You look like shit," Colin says when Jamie walks into the locker room to prepare for the match, they have later in the day.

"Good to see you too, Colin."

Jamie takes a nasty tackle during the match. He is so pissed at himself that nothing anyone says registers as he makes his way to the locker room. He'd come down hard on his wrist, and it was already swelling by the time he gets to there. The med team splints it and gives him an ice pack. He sniffles when he is alone in the treatment room. A voice that sounds suspiciously like his dad mentally berates him for being weak, for being soft, and a crybaby. He looks up to see Ted approaching him.

"Should be fine in a bit, don't use me hands in the game anyway, so should be good to go in-"

"Not sure that's the best idea, Jamie. Took a heck of a hit. You should rest."

"I'd feel better if I was back out there."

"Somehow, I doubt that."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, you have been struggling before that hit. Have been since yesterday. I figured you'd talk to someone eventually, but clearly, it is starting to impact your ability to play-"

"You're benching me because of this?" He gestures to his splinted wristed.

"I'm benching you because you don't look well, Jamie. And I tried to see if you could sort it out on your own, but short of calling your mom, I'm not sure how else to get through to you. Take a day or two and try and sort yourself out. Call someone if you need to."

"You're serious," Jamie says in disbelief.

"Go home, Jamie, rest up. Heal up. Check-in with you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes, sir," Jamie says, his tone a bit cold. He goes back to the locker room and changes out of his kit. He leaves before the team even knows he's out of the game.

"You what?!" Roy shouts at Ted.

"Sent him home, he's injured, and clearly he-"

"He needs his support network, not to be sent home to overthink every mistake he made."

"For someone that walked out on the guy, you sure seem to be mad."

Roy has no comeback for that. All he can do is send a text to Keeley asking her to check on Jamie. And Keeley leaves the match early to do so.

"When was the last time you ate?" Keeley asks him when he lets her into his flat.

"Earlier," Jamie says.

"Did you eat after they gave you pain meds?"

"Not hungry."

"Tell that to the future ulcer in your stomach from taking painkillers on an empty stomach."

"If I eat a sandwich, can I go back to bed?"

"Jamie, I know you are hurting, but you can't just sleep all day."

"I'm not allowed to train. I can't focus on shit. I'll heal faster if I sleep, so seems fine to me."

"You aren't resting to heal. You're depressed. I know breakups are hard, but you can't just-"

"Yes, I can," Jamie says.

"Jamie," Keeley was shocked by how defiant he was being. He had been a prick in the past, but this felt different. This was him determined to wallow in sadness.

"Sorry," he mutters before going to make a sandwich he didn't even want but would eat because Keeley said so. "No guarantees it stays down," he adds.

"Are you sick?" She goes over and feels his forehead, and he lets her. But he knows he isn't sick sick. It was just in his head.

"I'm not that kind of sick," he points out. He taps his head. "It's in me head. I just, I think about having to go to training. About having to see him. About letting the team down again. I feel like I'm back trying to get accepted at Richmond all over again, but I just keep fucking up, and everyone is going to hate me. And I can't even train to be better because he was the one training me, and I try to eat, but my stomach won't let me. I try to sleep, and I can't and-" He doesn't realize he is crying until Keeley hugs him.

"It's understandable to be anxious, babe," she drags him into the living room and sits him down. She gets out and orders him something she thinks he can eat to be delivered and something for herself because she has a feeling she isn't going anywhere for now.

After they eat, Jamie falls asleep snuggled against her on the couch. Her phone buzzes, and she checks it. She rolls her eyes. It's Roy asking if Jamie is okay for the sixth time.

Keeley: if you are so concerned why not see for yourself

Roy-o: I'll only make it worse

Keeley: how

Roy-o: because I am the reason he is this way

Keeley: no shit

Keeley: that means you could also fix it

Keeley: you're an idiot and a right prick you're both miserable

Keeley: you could fix it for both of you but you won't

When Roy doesn't respond, she gets frustrated. She texts Ted.

Keeley: I got Jamie to eat, take something for his wrist, and sleep.

Ted: how bad is he?

Keeley: he is an anxious and heartbroken mess that has himself worked up that he is letting the team down

Ted: which only makes it seem like he is failing more which makes it worse and he's caught in a spiral of bad. Got it.

Keeley: I'll stay with him tonight but I have to work tomorrow.

Ted: don't sweat it. We'll handle it.

Keeley: thanks Ted

Roy is the last one in the office, and the locker room is empty. Everyone else had gone home after the game. No one was in the mood to celebrate. An injured and benched striker could really hurt their chances in the league. Roy had thrown his phone across his desk after rereading the texts from Keeley. He gets a bottle of scotch out of his desk drawer and pours himself a drink. He wanted to check on Jamie himself. He wanted to make sure that Jamie wasn’t beating himself up for someone else tackling him. But he knew he couldn’t. He had been the one that put Jamie off his game. His phone goes off.

Ted: You’re right. He needs his team.

Ted: He will still be at training but he is not allowed to train.

Roy leaves him on read and drains the rest of his drink before heading back to his sister’s place.

Keeley is trying to coax Jamie to eat the next morning when his doorbell rings. She finds a smiling Dani Rojas and a concerned-looking Sam Obisanya.

"Oh, hi," she gives them a tired smile.

"Coach said Jamie needed friends," Dani says.

"And breakfast," Sam adds.

"He does," she nods and lets them in. "Look who dropped by, Jamie."

Jamie immediately gets up from his spot on his sofa but relaxes a bit when he sees it's just Dani and Sam.

"Hi guys," Jamie says.

"I have to run home before work. Text me if you need anything." She hugs Jamie. "Let them help you," she whispers to him. "They care about you like I do. Don't fight them." She feels him a nod. She gives Jamie a kiss on the cheek, which earns her a small smile. "Okay, babes, see you all later."

"How is your wrist?" Sam asks as he sets the takeaway containers on Jamie's coffee table. Dani hands him a paper cup. And Jamie smells the lovely scent of coffee, and he almost cries because Keeley is right. His friends are there because they care. They don't hate him. He hasn't actually ruined his relationship with his teammates. Maybe it was all in his head.

"I…fuck, it's good to see you guys," Jamie says, and he does have tears in his eyes.

"Of course, mi amigo," Dani smiles. "All you have to do is ask. We will be here."

"But we cannot help you if we don't know what is wrong," Sam says. And Jamie tells them everything because he can't keep it in, and he is a fucking mess. But Dani hugs him and tells him he is okay that he isn't bad or a failure.

"You haven't ruined anything," Sam says. "Well, nothing that cannot be fixed. If you need someone to train with, just ask. Might not be 4 in the morning, but a few extra hours could be good."

"And we can do it together," Dani agrees. "Always more fun with more friends."

"You guys would do that for me?"

"Of course we will, you are our friend and our teammate, and this could help all of us be better, but not until after your arm is healed. Until then, we can still keep you company." Sam finds the remote and turns on the TV. He finds some mindless show that will work as background noise or a distraction. And they all settle in to eat.

A few hours later, Sam has to leave to help his dad at Ola's, but Ted swings by to take his place for a bit. Dani and Ted fill the quiet and put Jamie's mind at ease until Dani leaves in the afternoon. Leaving just Jamie and Ted.

"How you feeling?" Ted asks as they eat a light dinner.

"Better, actually. Like my thoughts aren't so loud, and I can eat without it coming back up."

"That's good, Jamie," Ted smiles at him. "You know I didn't send you home as punishment, right? I knew you were struggling, and I was going to call and check on you after the match. I was worried, but being with the team was making it worse, so I figured you needed a breather. Maybe I should have waited until after the match, but you do need rest, Jamie. Maybe not the time away from the team, but you need to let yourself relax. And I know that being alone ain't helpful when your head gets caught up in everything, but running yourself into the ground isn't good for you. You don't have to hide it, though. No one will think less of you for being in a rut. You have friends. You haven't failed anyone. You've worried them, but the team knows that this isn't the normal you. They aren't mad. They want to help. Let your team help you."

"It's just hard because…" Jamie can't say it.

"Because Roy is there?" Ted finishes for him. Jamie nods. "I can't imagine that is easy to deal with. But you aren't alone. You have the team. They're a good buffer and a great distraction. Now that Sam and Dani know, they'll help you. Keep you out of your head. Hopefully, keep a few of the others from asking questions."

Jamie groans because he knows the whole team is going to know now, and they will probably blame Jamie or Roy, and it could get even more awkward. He doesn't want anyone to be mad at Roy. He wasn't even mad at Roy. He missed Roy, and having to see him every day didn't make it any easier not to miss him. He was so fucking close, but it wasn't the same, and it hurt Jamie's soul.

"Jamie," Ted starts. "This is just another obstacle you have to learn to navigate. Can't be avoided, but it can be overcome. You might need a bit of a boost from your buddies, but you can, and you will get past it. It just takes time. It will get easier."

"Thanks, Coach," Jamie says.

Roy gets a text from Ted that Roy's going to be working with the defenders and reserves for the time being. And Roy knew this was coming. When Keeley told him, he was an idiot. His sister was right. He needed to find a way to make this work, or he'd have to leave Richmond. He couldn't let his issues ruin Jamie's career. And Richmond was good for Jamie. Yeah, it was Roy's home, but Jamie thrived there. He was hours away from his fucking old man. So he was safe from that bullshit. He had friends on the team that loved him. And he had Ted. Roy could find a new team if he needed to. He didn't want to, but he wanted Jamie to get better. And he did want Jamie to get better. But fuck, he didn't know how else to fix this. Jamie deserved better.

A few days go by of Roy coaching the defenders. He tried to ignore the way Sam and a few of the team members would look at him. It made Roy feel uneasy. Most, if not all, of the players, knew that he'd left Jamie, and that is why Jamie was struggling. They knew Roy could see Jamie suffering, and as Keeley figured, he was just being a prick by letting it go on. They didn't know that they had fought over stuff they do all the time. That Jamie would be better off with someone that wouldn't ruin his career if the press found out. That Jamie deserved to be with someone his age. The nights are filled with liquor, and Roy’s mornings are usually a blur from being hung over.

Keeley and Sam meet Ted and Beard at the Crown and Anchor.

"We have to do something," Keeley says as she takes a pull off her drink. "They are both miserable, but Roy thinks Jamie is better off without him, even though Jamie is clearly not better off."

"How do you know Roy thinks that?" Beard asks.

"Because his sister told me so, that and he has been drinking more than usual, and as much as Phoebe loves having her uncle around 24/7, his sister knows it isn't good for Roy."

"Okay, so what do we do?"

"Make them realize they are idiots in love and are at their best when they are together."

"You want to Parent Trap them?" Ted asks.

"Exactly!" Keeley grins.

"But how?” Sam asks. “Neither of them are parents."

"Technically, they aren't,” Keeley states. “But I know at least one child they both would do anything for, and her mum is willing to help."

Keeley drops by training with Phoebe a week later. The match the day before had been a draw, and tensions were high. But they all knew something had to give. She leaves Phoebe with Ted and goes, as planned, to see Rebecca.

Roy has no fucking clue how it happens, but one minute his niece is fine kicking the ball around with a few players. The next moment she is crying. Jamie is, of course, faster than he is and is physically closer to her. He is there before Roy even realizes what is going on. Even with his splinted wrist, Jamie picks Phoebe up and takes her inside. Ted tells Roy to go with them, and he'll find out what happens. Roy doesn't need to be told twice. He finds them in the treatment room with the med team looking over Phoebe's ankle. She sniffles, but Jamie is on the treatment table next to her, talking her through it. Her small little hand was in his. Jamie gets up when Roy enters and looks like he is about to leave. "Your Uncle's here now. You'll be-" Jamie starts to say, but Phoebe interrupts him.

"No!" Phoebe shouts and sniffles. She whispers something neither can hear to the medic, and the medic leaves. Both Roy and Jamie gape at Phoebe as she hops down off the table and hurries out the door. It slams closed, and they hear it lock behind her. Roy tries the door, but it doesn't open.

"Phoebe, open the door," Roy demands.

"No! Not until you two fix it," Phoebe's muffled voice shouts. "You love each other. So fix it!"

"Open the door now, Phoebe!" Roy shouts, and Jamie winces at the volume in the small space.

"No!" She repeats.

"Did we just fall into a trap set by an 8-year-old girl?" Jamie asks. And Roy grunts.

"She has a key," Roy points out. "Which means she had help."

"Is it even legal to have a door lock like this in a public building?" Jamie wonders.

"Probably not, but she had help, and if Beard was in on it, then we are fucking stuck."

Jamie goes to put his hands in the pocket of his trackies and winces as it moves his sore wrist.

"She didn't make it worse, did she?" Roy asks, now worried Phoebe just made Jamie's life even more difficult than it already was.

"It's fine," Jamie says, now fiddling with the velcro on the splint and staring at the floor. "She's not that heavy."

"I know," Roy starts. "But if it's bad enough you can't play, then-"

"It's fine, Roy," Jamie repeats. "It's Phoebe. Wasn't just going to sit there and do nothing."

"Even if it made your injury worse?"

"It's Phoebe, so yeah," Jamie shrugs. "You might not like me anymore, but I'm not going to-"

"Who says I don't like you anymore, Jamie?"

"Leaving with your bag and avoid me like the plague since has made that crystal fucking clear," Jamie says. "I'm going to visit my mum after the match in Blackburn. So you can get your shit if you want."

"Jamie," Roy starts, but he doesn't know how to finish. It is awkwardly silent. Because Roy asked for this, he wanted Jamie to move on. But even when Jamie was a prick to him and literally toasted to Roy's death, it didn't hurt this much. Because he hadn’t loved Jamie back then. And now, Jamie was guarded. Cold. He made Jamie this way.

"Thought so," Jamie muttered. He pushes past Roy to the door. "Phoebe, I know you mean well, but can you please open the door? No matter what happens, you still have me. You have my number. You can use it. And I'm not mad you tricked us. And your uncle won't be either if you open the door," Jamie kept his tone just loud enough for her to hear through the door but not in an angry shout because he wasn't mad. He was numb. It was quiet for a minute before they heard the door unlock, and then it opened. Jamie gives Phoebe a sad smile. "Thanks, Phoebs." He pats her head with his good hand. "I owe you a quid," Jamie says, and he heads to the locker room.

"Are you mad?" Phoebe asks Roy.

"Not at you, kid," Roy says honestly.

"Are you mad at Jamie?" She asks.

"Fuck no," Roy says. He sighs. "I'm mad at whoever gave you that key. And myself, because I think I did more damage than I thought I did."

"Oh, is Jamie's hand okay?" She asks.

"I think so," Roy assures her. "He doesn't mind if it is sore. He cares more about you than he does his wrist. And he's right. No matter what happens, you still have both of us. If you want to talk to Jamie, you can. Be kind of shitty of me to take away another person in your life."

"I know," she says, her tone sad because both Roy and Jamie were still upset.

"Let's find Keeley, and you can make her get you ice cream."

"Okay," Phoebe says.

"Fuck you," Roy glares at Ted as he throws the key Phoebe had given him before she left with Keeley. Keeley had already received a full Roy speech about using his niece in a childish plan. Roy goes and pours himself a drink because he is beyond done. His day is fucked, and there is no way he can do without something to take the edge off.

"Hold on, let me-" Ted starts to say, but Roy is not having it. He growls as he slams the drawer of his desk and is back in the main office.

"Fuck both of you!" Roy shouts at Beard too. "What gives you the right to fucking do what you did? She is a fucking child. You had her fucking lie to me. My own fucking family! You risked Jamie Tartt hurting his wrist worse because, of fucking course he wasn't going to let an injury stop him from helping Phoebe. He loves her like his fucking own. If you ever think of involving Phoebe in your fucking Rom-Communism bullshit again, I will punch you in the throat. She is a child!” He glares at Ted. “You are a fucking father! You should fucking know better! And this isn't a fucking movie! Things are never that simple, and you only made it worse! Because now he fucking hates me more! Made that perfectly clear! So stay the fuck out of it!"

Roy storms out of the office. A few players and staff members hurry to get out of his way.

"Well, that's not good," Ted says, looking over at Beard.

"Nope," Beard agrees.

"Hey, Ted," Keeley says later that day when she calls him. "I need to warn you that-"

"Roy is very angry, I know," Ted sighs.

"Well, yeah, but I think we did some additional damage to Jamie." She says.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I called to ask if he wanted me to pick up dinner and come see him, but he said not to bother. He just wants to get his stuff ready for Blackburn and for going to his mum's. Told me he wasn't mad, but he is just done."

"What do you mean done?"

"I don't know," Keeley admits. "He says he cleared it with Rebecca and Higgins to take the week after the Blackburn match off. He's going to Manchester. Just wanted to give you a heads up."

They load the bus for the 4-hour drive to Blackburn, and it is oddly subdued compared to the normal liveliness of the team. Everyone knows Jamie wasn't going to be returning with them. He'll be at the game, but he is taking the train to Manchester after. Jamie had assured his friends he'd be back in Richmond after a week. He didn't see his mum much, and with his wrist being fucked anyway, he was going to stay with her.

The trip there was an uneasy one.

Jamie and Dani Rojas shared a room. Normally he roomed with Sam or even Roy, but Sam had admitted to helping Phoebe with her plan, and Jamie had said he wasn't mad, but he still wasn't happy. He forgave Sam before the match, but nothing changed.

Roy paces around his hotel room after the match. Jamie had told him he was going to see his mum. But knowing he was and seeing him leave were two very different things. He had watched the team say goodbye. Some members of the team gave Roy pitying looks, and a couple of them glared at him. But Jamie had barely looked at Roy. And that had Roy's chest feeling painfully tight. He still loved Jamie. He couldn’t deny it. He’d already eaten the food he ordered and more than one beer. Only stopping when he realized how stupid it was to keep drinking like that. Jamie didn’t mind if the people in his life drank. But he was not a fan of drunks. Jamie’s father had thrown a few too many bottles at him while pissed. Roy ended up leaving the rest of the pack in the hotel room fridge untouched. He needed to get his shit together and drink until he passes out because of the idea of falling asleep without Jamie beside him fucking hurt.

After a mostly sleepless night, Roy made a decision. He had everything set before most of the team was probably even awake. He went and knocked on Ted's door.

"I am going to Manchester."

"What?" Ted was half awake.

"I'm going to Manchester. I won't be on the bus."

"Going after Jamie?" Ted asked hopefully.

"Might end up a fucking disaster, but I'm going to go."

"Good luck," Ted says. "Let me know how it goes."

Jamie thinks he's losing his mind when his mum answers the door, and he can swear he hears Roy. He makes his way to the hall and hears her arguing with someone. When he rounds the corner to the stairs, he freezes. It was Roy.

Roy's eyes meet his, and he can see how tired Roy looks.

"Fine," Jamie hears his mum say. "But you upset him, and I will throw you out. This is my house."

"Understood," Roy says, looking back at Georgie. She disappears down the hall and into the kitchen. Roy steps further into the entryway and closes the door behind him. He looks up at Jamie again.

"Hi," Roy says.

"Eh…hi," Jamie says. "What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," Jamie makes his way down the rest of the stairs and leads Roy to the living room. Jamie waits silently.

"I don't want to get my shit. I don't want to find a new flat. I…want to go home."

"You want me to move?" Jamie asks, annoyance in his tone.

"Fuck no," Roy says. "Not really home if you aren't there."

Jamie just stares at him. Roy sighs.

"Phoebe was right. I need to fix this." Roy gestures between Jamie and himself. "I know I fucked up. I just keep thinking you would be so much better off with anyone else. Someone that isn't an angry and broken idiot."

"But what if I don't want anyone else? What if I'm happy with an angry and broken idiot?"

"Are you happy?" Roy asks bluntly.

"Been a shitty few fucking weeks," Jamie says. "But I was happy before that."

"Even when I pick fights for stupid reasons?" Roy asks.

"Even then, because when we fight it out, the sex is fucking awesome," Jamie grins but it fades. "Not so much when you leave and don't come back. Even when you had the chance."

"I didn't want to make things harder for you," Roy admits.

"Harder? Roy, I couldn't eat or sleep unless Keeley, Sam, or Dani stayed with me. I fucked up my wrist and couldn't even play. It was already too fucking hard. And after what happened with Phoebe, I didn't even want to see them. I just shut down. Went numb."

Roy grimaces. "I thought it would be better for you in the long run if you had the team. You would find someone new."

"I don't want anyone new!" Jamie shouts. "I just want you."

"I know but-"

He is cut off by Jamie grabbing his wrist and dragging Roy upstairs to his childhood bedroom. "Fucking look!" Jamie gestures to Roy's poster on the wall. "I told you I fucking loved you. Loved watching you play. Then I said I love you for you. Fucked up knee and-" Jamie goes over and takes the plastic whistle off the wall. "And your stupid fucking allergy to whistles." He throws it at Roy. He points at the poster again. "You fucking think I would want anyone else? I used to fucking dream of this, you fucking prick. Quit trying to fucking fight me, and let me love you."

Roy stares at the whistle as everything Jamie just said sinks in. Jamie loves every version of Roy. He can see that now. And it's a violent and terrifying feeling of love at times. But he feels it. And Roy is moving before he even knows what he's doing, but he just needs to be with Jamie. He feels like shit when Jamie isn't there. He pulls Jamie in and kisses him.

"I can't fucking sleep either," Roy tells him. "Could only drink until I could actually sleep. Seeing you struggle and not being able to help was eating away at my fucking heart. Fucking shattered it when you told me you wanted me to move out."

"I never wanted you to leave, and if I was there when you came to get your stuff, I'm not sure I could have kept it together. I'd have lost my shit and either begged you to stay or just cry. So I gave you an out."

"I don't want an out," Roy puts a hand on Jamie's cheek and wipes away a few stray tears that were there. "I want you to be happy."

"I'm happy with you, you fucking bellend." Jamie kisses him desperately, hoping to make his point. "No one is ever happy all the time, not even Ted. It's how you handle the shit times that matters. You can't just run away, Roy."

"I know, and I won't. Not like this. Not again." Roy holds him close.

"Fucking good," Jamie says. He even nudges Roy until the older man is sitting on his bed. Jamie goes over and kicks his door closed. "Now fucking prove it."

"Fulfilling those childhood dreams of yours?" Roy grins.

"Fuck yeah," Jamie says as he straddles Roy's hips.

"I fucking missed you," Roy growls before pulling Jamie into a kiss.

"Missed you too," Jamie says against his lips.

"Fucking love you, you know that, right?" Roy grunts when Jamie shifts his weight, and he hits Roy's clothed and half-hard dick.

"Yeah, I do," Jamie grins. "Fucking love you too. Now shut up before my mum hears you." Jamie kisses him. Roy swallows Jamie's moan when in a quick move, Roy pins him to the bed.

If Jamie's mum hears them, she doesn't say anything when they finally make it back downstairs. She gives Roy another lecture about taking care of her son before telling Roy he is welcome to stay. Roy thanks her but says he booked a hotel. She even serves him tea.

"For how long?" Jamie asks.

"Didn't want to assume you'd just accept me back," Roy says. "Or that your parents would even let me in."

"Thought you'd have to prove it, yeah?" Jamie says. The striker smirks when Roy chokes on his tea. Jamie had told him to prove it in his bedroom, and Roy had fucked Jamie under Roy's Chelsea poster.

"Goodness, Roy," Jamie's mum took the mug of tea from him as he coughed. "Are you alright?"

Roy nods. His eyes were watering. "Yeah, I'm good," Roy manages when he can breathe again. "Sorry," he says.

"No need to apologize. Just try not to inhale it this time," Georgie insists. She hands him back the mug.

"Thanks," Roy says. Jamie laughs.

"Fucking finally," Someone says as Roy and Jamie walked into the locker room together a week later.

"Fuck off," Roy glares.

"We're just happy for you," Sam says. "Feeling better?" He asks Jamie.

"Yeah, thanks, mate," Jamie grins and puts his hand over his heart. "Didn't know you all missed me so much. I'm touched."

That earns a mix of laughs and boos.

"Well, I'm glad you are back, mi amigo," Dani hugs him.

Jamie hugs him back. "Me too, mate, me too."

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