#adulthood is a lie

[justactgaussian]

You know when people say something that makes perfect sense in context, only it's also slang for something else, which they aren't aware of?

Like my boss addressing some IT issues:

"But on the bright side, most of us have a shorter commute now, so there's some extra time to spend on docking in the morning"

And I just have to sit there and pretend I'm a professional adult...

[rosellacwrites]

This right here.

I have a lot of younger friends, and the one thing I always tell them is that literally nobody is a “Grown Up.”

We are all just out here faking it. Sometimes we get caught, and the only thing that really changes as we get older is that we start giving fewer fucks about it.

i'm sorry but this is fucking sending me

[nekky-nek]

Will I ever recover from Xemnas saying to be human must take incredible strength? No. No I will not.

[bright-and-burning]

it is genuinely saddening how i follow a third of the people i followed ~9 months ago. i miss when my queue used to spit out anything and everything; it was like one of those gumball machines where you got fun little toys out. and i had so much fun filling it w stuff being like omg friend x is gonna eat this up in three months!!! putting stuff in there to be a little forgotten treasure for myself, some kind of mini time capsule... i literally used to be known for my variety posting you know. but i've had to mow down the biodiversity of my dash aggressively to avoid catching strays and i feel like i've been curling up further and further into a ball on here like a terrified potato bug

[hpdculture-is]

HPD culture is being glad you have enough unique childhood trauma so you don’t have to lie to get people’s attention

.

[starlooove]

I’m trying not to be a hater but that tiktok and comment section pissed me off so bad.

[todayisafridaynight]

How do you cope with suddenly becoming a legal adult when you're mentally stuck at 15 or so, asking for a friend :3

i mean. becoming a legal adult doesnt just mean you SUDDENLY have every single legal adult responsibility in the world and you'll die tomorrow if you don't understand what a mortgage is

you'll be fine, dont worry

[accidentallyatekneecaps]

Being the unemployed friend kinda sucks ass

[barrenwomb]

the fact that most people in a relationship either met their partner at work or on a dating app makes me want to scream my lungs off. no way i’m letting personal life get in the way with my job AND dating apps sound like literal hell + they’re, as a matter of principle, such a turn off. exposing myself through a virtual shop window and making the effort to sound interesting enough after a bunch of texts is so. i’d rather get shot. and i’m not saying it because i’m a hopeless romantic, quite the contrary, actually. i don’t believe in love at first sight either so it’s not like i’m hoping to meet the love of my life at a coffee shop wattpad style. if i have to be completely honest, i just want to have sex — not in a casual way, not in a committed way, but a secret third thing. don’t even try to mention therapy im going to kill you on the spot.

[tvrningout]

we turn the page to a new chapter | @metrictita gets a starter just 'cause <3

she looks undoubtedly cozy, donned in an oversized hoody and shorts with little corgis on them. she's got the hood up and a pillow in her arms ( it's got k.akashi's face on it -- a gift from her mother, she claims ), glasses perched on the end of her nose and chin resting upon the pillow. and she's looking right at him. she's just argued with niko for the past five minutes that she doesn't want to sleep just yet -- she hasn't had too much to drink! she's absolutely fine. her face is this flushed because she's a little toasty, is all. no, she won't change out of her hoody. fine, she'll drink some water.

chiyo's water sits forgotten on her bedside table as she sighs, hugging her pillow a little more tightly. " maybe i did overdo it, " she admits. her eyes haven't left his, half-lidded and warm. " i keep thinkin' i don't wanna go to bed 'cause i don't want ya t'be alone, but i'll still be right here. but it's-- it's different 'cause, y'know, what if ya get lonely, and i'm asleep?? we're kinda alike, so i worry you'll feel blue by yourself and let me sleep 'cause that's easier. "

she's said way too much, but chiyo doesn't feel embarrassed or anxious like she normally would. maybe she really has had too much to drink. the artist nudges niko's thigh with a fuzzy sock-clad foot.

" promise you'll wake me up if ya get lonely, and maybe i'll sleep. and i mean whenever ya feel like that. i wanna be there, nik. "

[heavenbarnes]

i love how i can never gather what your type is. it’s like you reach into a hat and decide who you want to fuck that day. superb

HAHAHAHA this is purely the funniest thing anyone has said to me on this site your name is going in the hat

[tricornonthecob]

Me: I have many responsibilities and timelines to follow, and only so many hours in a day to do things.

Prescription Meth: All of which are completely doable yes yes yes yes you don't need to eat rn, you binge eat, anyway

My brain: *playing with various dinosaur, horse, and LK-shaped legos*

My brain: *suddenly drops the legos*

My brain: GINGERBREAD TRICORNS.

Me: ...jesus rollerblading christ you're brilliant, also not to be a pedant but they were called cocked hats at the time.

My brain: thank you and shut up you know what I fucking mean and its acceptable to use it as a 21st century human, who fucking came up with our tumblr user name.

My stomach: Yes hi, excuse me, we're hungry?

Prescription Meth: Good talk everyone! Lets get back to work!

Me: right you are!

My stomach: ... well ok then.

[saturngalore]

happy august y’all 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

[malhare-archive]

I know it's not good to romanticize youth and the past but sometimes Im like "man, Im never going to be a kid again. I have to just deal with being an adult forever and that sucks"

[mari-reads]

not to be dramatic but being a 24 yr old girl living through societal collapse is like totally unfair

[camcorderrevival]

90s lottienat two stags locked together by their antlers. im thinking about them.