#the transition period between childhood and adulthood is a black hole of nothing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

barrenwomb · 2 years ago

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the fact that most people in a relationship either met their partner at work or on a dating app makes me want to scream my lungs off. no way i’m letting personal life get in the way with my job AND dating apps sound like literal hell + they’re, as a matter of principle, such a turn off. exposing myself through a virtual shop window and making the effort to sound interesting enough after a bunch of texts is so. i’d rather get shot. and i’m not saying it because i’m a hopeless romantic, quite the contrary, actually. i don’t believe in love at first sight either so it’s not like i’m hoping to meet the love of my life at a coffee shop wattpad style. if i have to be completely honest, i just want to have sex — not in a casual way, not in a committed way, but a secret third thing. don’t even try to mention therapy im going to kill you on the spot.

#i want to experience intimacy so bad but the idea alone makes me want to throw up #i made huge steps but when it comes to romance and sex #i’m still stuck #i made no improvements whatsoever #truth is i’m less interested in this kind of stuff than the avarage person #truth is maybe i’m just lying to myself #am i?#i wonder.#idk sometimes i feel like i completely skipped a fundamental part of my life growing up #and there’s not coming back #being in a relationship sounds suffocating #i struggle with intimacy even when it comes to friendship #i may look like the most easygoing welcoming lovely open and genuine person #but it’s simply just a lie #i will never allow anyone to See me #there’s nothing here but a huge gap #i don’t know how to fill #the transition period between childhood and adulthood is a black hole of nothing #it’s pathetic! my lack of experience is embarrassing #no matter how much i try to convince myself there’s still time!

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